#I’m so tired dawg

[monstrousdesirestudy]

Apologies for being MIA: I split with my agent, publishing is a nightmare, and other personal life stuff have made me feel burnt the fuck OUT. I love this community and this topic but god almighty does it feel Sisyphusian and demoralizing to try to convince publishers of a thriving market that already exists that a topic would do well and they just. Don’t believe you lol tldr capitalism sucks the soul out of all of us and kills all joy

[phellycheesesteak]

The horrors. They grip me so. Let me loose oh grip of life

Anyway here’s Dante doodle

[clownsuu]

Why are Wally and Howdy so cute together??

Just something about em that fuels my wee small lil heart smhhh- their dynamic is so wacky yet simple it makes me crave more somehow 😔🥄🥄

Fuckin e e p y

[soullessjack]

this isnt rlly a serious post more so than a thought I need to verbalize but like. there’s an INSANE difference between the fandom being like “hey what if jack was actually his age and got to be a little normal” vs y’all treating a grown ass man like he has to cover his ears when someone swears or sleep with a nightlight on because he’s afraid of the dark, and throwing the P word around to anyone who thinks he’s attractive. one of these things is not like the other.

[yuttikkele]

oh my gosh it’s Minecraft story mode BRRRRRRR(internal screaming) time

[loneguitars]

AFest once again and I’m bringing moomintroll to con this time

@snufkins-left-boot this is going to be us in a few minutes. Traffic get the fuck outta the wayyyyyy ;-; i have somewhere to beeeeee

[floral-hex]

woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.

[nick-close]

The binder anon hasn’t even asked me so I’m a fit of jealousy here is Normal Oak-Swallows-Garcia WITHOUT a binder. Thank you and goodnight.

[sister-lucifer]

depressed shrimp be like i’m gonna fucking krill myself

[stonedfaggotry]

Tboy fagdyke tummy Tuesday dog boy edition (he/it)

[c0m3tz]

so I’m just gonna be drawing curse exe until it’s my birthday:3

[werebutch]

I’m supposed to move my stuff to my moms today but I’m so freaked out by having to tell my dad that I’m gonna stay with her I just keep putting it off and my mom keeps asking me why I’m not moving anything ….. this is so hard 😭 I feel so horrible

[politemagic]

the unbridled rage i feel inside of me when people refer to me as “[husband]’s wife” AT WORK!!!!! co-worker called him to ask a question about me (not me. they don’t call me to talk to me.) and they kept saying “your wife” and not THE NAME OF THEIR CO-WORKER.

like, cool. cool cool cool good to know that you don’t actually see me as a member of this team just as my husband’s wife who works for you.

[artnerd1123]

4 more days of work and I will be free…

[toothcereal]

another thing i’d like to say ☝️ my identity as a Black american is inextricable from the rest of me. i often find myself in predominantly white spaces on account of my interests and other identities (and lbr, a LOT of spaces only leave room for white experiences and voices as the norm or default) and i always feel the need to remind my peers in those spaces that my Blackness is non-negotiable. i want to be loud, and i want to make y’all uncomfortable. IM uncomfortable. god and so many of my friends and acquaintances mean well but i’m about to die a death of a thousand papercuts. god.

[lesbianworlock]

Not to like “oh woe is me” post but I feel like I can vent on tumblr since it’s idk tumblr. But I was SO excited for my final semester of undergrad this summer and then almost immediately after I got here in August I began struggling very deeply in ways I have never struggled before. Like confused 24/7, missing assignments because I was too tired to even get out my phone let alone my laptop, forgetting everything including what I’m doing or where I’m supposed to be and even classroom locations on a campus I’ve been at for 4 and 1/2 years. Losing things constantly, randomly loosing grip strength and dropping things, horrible brain fog, waking up feeling like I’m shaking 24/7 but everyone telling me I’m not shaking anywhere when I ask, issues walking, dizziness, vertigo. I’ve been having such extreme fatigue I can’t even get out of bed to pee until it hurts because I’m just too tired. This has been happening since August. Which I assumed this was bad depressive episode so I had them double my antidepressants, and then nothing got better.

But then like two months ago I woke up with this pain in the left upper corner of my right eye. Just a spot the size of my fingertip. And it had me in so much pain I was throwing up. So I thought “I’m a big kid, I have migraines like this all the time.” and I took some of my medicine for that. But it didn’t go away. It lasted for a whole day. When it came back a few days later I decided maybe it was sinus pressure, so I took some allergy meds and some cold meds for a week while it was hurting off and on. But that didn’t work. And then it came back and I got a migraine over top of it. So it wasn’t that. And FINALLY last week it got so bad I couldn’t see out of my eye, the pain had been constant for about four days, and I was so dizzy I could barely walk. So my mom drove an hour out of state to pick me up and an hour back down to take me to the er, who promptly sent me to their on call opthamolagist who, after a serious of very very bright lights directly to my hella dilated pupils, told me my optical nerve is swollen and I need and mri.

Which is FUCKING STUPID that my optical nerve is causing me this much pain. But whatever.

Anyway the day after I went to the er and saw the eye doctor I had a follow-up with my primary care physician, and he said “oh yeah, they’re gonna want that mri urgently. We want to make sure you don’t have ms. Your symptoms are consistent and optical neuritis is often one of the first things ms patients experience before diagnosis.” like girl? If I have ms that chose to present itself by incapacitating me to the point I am failing my final semester of undergrad, and may not be able to fix it, I am going to lose my mind. It couldn’t have presented itself six months from now?????? There’s no confirmation it’s me yet until after my mri, but still. Whatever this is has me pissed tf off. Show up at a different time.

All that being said. Here’s a meme I made about it using a screenshot from one of my fave vines because I’m actually coping and not at all having a sort of hypochondria spiral and doing as much research on it as possible. That would be weird.