#I’m so not used to liking stuff I write

[sandersstudies]

I have a lot of continuous fantasy stories I use to get through my day (pretending to be Cinderella while doing chores type behavior), and many of the storylines have gotten so expansive I’m like hey I’m a writer should I write about this? And yet idk if it will translate or even make sense outside my head.

There’s this ongoing one where my husband and I are the last wild mated pair of an endangered species and therefore the human scientists studying us are really committed to our health and well-being. This one is great for objectively healthy stuff you don’t wanna do. The human scientists scooped you into a crate and took you to the lab for vaccinations. (Yearly flu shot.)

[st7rnioioss]

could you maybe write a little fic about brothersbsf!matt looking in sweetheart!reader's diary and seeing what she wrote about him!!

(idk if i got the au name things right!)

❛❛DEAR DIARY❜❜

⋆ ˚ .ೃ ࿔ * pairing... sweetheart!reader x brothers bsf!matt

𓂃 ֹ ᮫ in which... matt sneaks into sweetheart!readers room, expecting to find her, but to his surprise, she's not home. but something catches his eye immediately--her diary.

warnings... most suggestive stuff is all fiction!!! (literally lol), mentions of fingering, mentions of unprotected sex, mentions of kissing, implied masturbation (m)

♡ ˖ ࣪ ◟ the door to your room twisted open, the faint and high pitched creaking filling the empty room. you weren’t in there, the room was pitch black, and almost cold from the absence of your presence.

confusion settled in matt’s chest. huh? he’d snook away from your brother, telling him he just really quickly had to use the bathroom, but you weren’t there. he stepped inside when the confusion was replaced with curiosity, flicking on your bedside lamp to see where he was walking.

your room was pretty, but eerie when you weren’t there. matt’s eyes trailed over your decoration—the small trinkets, your bedsheets, the few posters you had up. god, it just screamed you. he chuckled to himself, his gaze finally landing upon the pretty little diary you always kept close to yourself.

oh, he knew it was wrong, very wrong. he didn’t have any sisters, but a diary was like.. a girl thing. but he took seat on the edge of your bed, your diary playing flat in his lap.

matt thought about it for a second, awkwardly flicking some hair out of his eyes. frightened to be caught, he listened intently for your brothers footsteps, but none could be heard. so, he continued to slowly turn the front, due to the lack of lock, seemingly one that used to be there but fell off.

matt’s eyes skimmed the front page where you had neatly written your name, along with a few doodles, and sweet words. he smiled to himself, before curiously flipping through the pages. some were filled with sketches and drawings, others going on for page after page about school drama, which he carefully read through, even gasping because some of the hidden information.

but one page caught his eyes, rather a page with his name caught his eyes. there wasn’t a certain title or description, just straight up words you had blurted out onto the paper. his heart started racing when he read through the page, his ears turning read.

“dear diary, i think i have a crush on my brother's friend matt. i’m not sure, but i think he’s really, really sweet, and sometimes he even says hi to me. i think it’s mainly because he’s trying to be kind to me. after all, my older brother is his friend, but i really hope it’s more than that. he’s really cute too. he’s got blue eyes, and this dark hair i really wish to run my fingers through every time he looks at me. and his lips are always pink, and they look so soft.”

and that was it. his heart drummed in his ribcage, nervously fiddling through your diary to find more.

and oh boy, did he find more. it was like your diary had taken this sharp turn, going from girl gossip, and rants about your favorite movies, to all being about him. matt couldn’t believe his eyes, his heart nearly beating out of his chest when his eyes picked up on the naughty sentences.

“dear diary, today matt came into my room to say hi. or at least that’s what happened, but i think he wanted to do more. i was just showing him around, when he suddenly stood so close to me, i swore he could hear my heart, and just as he was about to kiss me, my dumb brother walked in!!! gosh, i just wish he could’ve kissed me without any interruptions. i wonder how he’d kiss. if he would be gentle, and soft, or he would be rough, and fill the kiss with desire. maybe he’d do both. i don’t know. i dream about his fingers running down my waist, hooking under my shirt to pull it off, how he would run them through my hair. would he yank my hair, or carefully twirl it?? or maybe he’d wrap his fingers around my neck while kissing, i don't know. i dream about his tongue licking over mine, tasting and claiming me. anyways i gotta go.”

matt’s eyes nearly popped out of his head, groaning when he felt his cock harden from just the ink on paper, that you had written in the silence of your own room. in shock he dropped the diary between his legs, quickly picking it up again. he couldn’t stop, he wanted to read more. he needed to.

matt quickly flicked through the pages upon pages, searching for his name like before, but suddenly all he could seem to find was gossip. but he found another one, this one much more recent, seemingly the last one your written just the night prior.

“dear diary, gosh i need matt. like really bad. i don’t even understand how i’m writing right now, but i had to, i can’t tell anyone else. it’s so stupid. i think about him all the time, when i’m in school, when i’m in the shower, eating dinner or breakfast, when i’m in bed. i wish i didn’t. every time i touch myself, it’s like an image of him pops up, and i can’t make it stop. it’s so wrong, but it feels so right and good when i imagine him doing the stuff i do to myself. i get so wet thinking about it. how i wish he would just sneak in here one night, kiss me, and then take off my clothes without us feeling guilty about it, and anyone finding out. i can almost feel it, how he would push his fingers inside me while kissi”

it looks like you stopped right there, and matt could only imagine what was going on behind the diary, behind the pen on paper, what you were doing. he let out a low growl, an obvious tent forming in his pants from how vividly he was imagining you laying in bed, grasping your pen while ignoring the ache between your legs, before you’d give up and tug your panties down your pretty legs, easing your smaller and slender fingers inside your slick walls.

matt frantically searched for a pen, his mind going wild as he let his thoughts roam freely. the diary laid open on your bed when matt finally found a ballpoint pen, brushing the pages to the last one you had written on, before writing;

“i would kiss you down your chest, admire your body while i touch you after your sweet noises to get it right, my fingers sticky. then i would let go of you and take off my own clothes, leaning over you to push my dick into you, listen to you gasp and moan. i would take my time with you, wait until you allowed me to start fucking you, doing it gentle and slowly. i’d hold your hands, kiss you down your beautiful face and body, eventually going faster and harder. you have no idea how bad i wanna sneak into your room every time i’m hanging out here. i’m not even here for your brother anymore.”

matt let go of the pen, his hand nearly cramping from how concentrated and neatly he’d been with the filthy note, his cock aching hard and throbbing in his pants from imagining just how well you’d take him, and how adorable you’d look. “goddamn it,” he groaned, leaving the diary on your bedside table before turning off the lights, immediately heading to the bathroom.

more sweetheart!reader x brothers bsf!matt here!

˚𝜗𝜚 notes... #need that

۶ৎ taglist: @jetaimevous @missmimii @mattscoquette @pearlzier @witchofthehour @elizasturn @loveparqdise @delilahsturniolo @phone4pills @sturnsmia @hearts4werka @cayleeuhithinknott @strnilolover @sturnvxz @lovergirl4gracieabrams @ifwdominicfike @toftomgmf @emely9274 @sturnioloangell @blushsturns @sierrraaaaxz @slut4chris888 @marrykisskilled @sophand4n4 @sturnihoelooo @unknvhx @chrisslut04 @sturniolossss @slvtf0rchr1s @blahbel668 @starkeysturniolo @miolos @user1smvtysturniolo @lizzyzzn @sturnslutz @decimatedxdreams @chrissturnioloswife88 @sturn777 @sturniolonationsblog @frankoceanfanpage @priscillaog @courta13 @sweetrelieef @loverboysturn @sturns-mermaid @cutseylady @sofieeeeex @sofia-is-a-sturniolo-triplet-fan @mattsturnii @conspiracy-ash

❛❛ © 𝐒𝐓𝟕𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐈𝐎𝐒𝐒 𝐞𝐬𝐭. 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 ❜❜

[ichigo-plasma]

I LOVE HARUKA, he's so cute 🥺🥰 I like yandere subs. And can you write more about Haruka? Like if the fem reader is going to confess to Haruka and if the reader is more dominant? pushing Haruka further and further to the limit until he becomes a crying mess...

Can I be the anon"🌙"?

The Attention You Crave

Synopsis: Haruka is super obsessed with you. He started stalking you and memorizing your routine in Milgram, taking some of your belongings... he was pathetic for you really. But unbeknownst to him, you didn't mind, you were into it, you liked how pathetic he was for you. And tonight, you are going to make sure he knows.

On The Menu: you heard 🌙 anon, reader is more dominant, Haruka is a masochist so he is super into it (he is a canon masochist), suggestive, yandere Haruka, stalking, a slap based and choking based on Es's interrogation with Haruka in T1, Yuno, Muu, and Es mentioned!, Haruka lied about his age because he’s embarrassed about how old he is

A/N: Milgram T3 made me sad but while Haruka might be not doing well in Jackalope's Milgram, in the Ichigo-Plasma Milgram world, Haruka is doing just fine! I tend to make Haruka as more of a switch but I am down to try domming him. Let’s make him cry happy tears! Let’s all dom Haruka Sakurai! ^_^ <3 Please enjoy 🌙 anon if you have more requests send them my way!

Haruka had always been drawn to you. It started the moment you first spoke to him in Milgram, the way your voice held a warmth he had never known. You looked at him—really looked at him—without disgust, without fear. Your attention became his addiction, something he craved more than he could admit.

So he started following you. Not in an obvious way, but enough to learn your habits, enough to always be near when you needed something. It wasn’t creepy, he told himself. He just… wanted to be close to you. And maybe he stole some stuff from your cell in Milgram… he managed to snag some of your underwear before it made it to the prison laundry, he’d lick the extra scraps off your food tray that you didn’t finish—savoring licking each spike of your used fork… he knows it was not super normal but he truly just wanted to feel closer, that’s all! You hadn’t seemed to notice!

But the more time passed, the more he needed from you. Your praise. Your kindness. Your touch. He started sneaking into your cell when you were hanging with other prisoners—taking in your scent on your bed and running away before he knew you’d be making your way back (don’t ask how he knew when you’d come back). He will admit though, he was getting a bit bold and clumsy with his stalking and one day when he came to lick the extra food off your tray, you left a little message reading “I left some extra of the foods I know you like Mr. Stalker~<3”.

And when he realized you knew? That you had seen right through him? That was when his whole world completely shifted—because unbeknownst to him you were into it.

You liked how pathetic he was for you.

You liked how desperate he was.

And tonight, you were going to make sure he knew it.

Haruka barely had time to react before you shoved him against the wall. His breath hitched, his body jolting at the force of it, but he didn’t try to run. He liked this. The way you overpowered him, the way your hands gripped him like you owned him.

“W-Wait, y-you’re s-serious?” he stammered, wide-eyed.

You grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at you. His pupils were blown wide, his lips trembling as you traced your fingers over his throat, barely applying pressure—just enough to make him feel it.

“Do I look like I’m joking?” you murmured, watching as he swallowed hard, his adam’s apple bobbing under your touch. “What, do you not want me, Haruka? I know you’re the reason some of my underwear are missing. I saw them in your cell covered in wet stains.”

His breath hitched, his hands twitching at his sides. “I-I… I d-d—” He shook his head frantically, but his body betrayed him—his lips parted slightly, his knees trembling.

You chuckled. “Liar.”

A soft whimper escaped him as you pressed closer, your hand slowly traveling down his arm before catching his wrist. His fingers twitched under your grip, his whole body shaking.

“I bet you love this,” you whispered, your lips barely brushing against his ear. “Being completely at my mercy… pinned against a wall with nowhere to run.”

He shuddered.

“I-I—” he started to whimper but he looked more starstruck than upset. Happy to finally have your attention one on one.

“You can’t even deny it, can you?” Your fingers ghosted down the side of his throat, tracing the rapid thrum of his pulse. “Such a cute little masochist… I wonder what else you’d let me do to you?”

His whole body tensed, a quiet gasp escaping his lips. “P-Please…” he whimpered, not even knowing what he was begging for.

You smiled. “Please what?”

He shivered violently. His hands, which had been clenched into fists inside his cutely oversized Milgram shirt sleeves, hesitantly moved—gripping your own sleeves, desperate, needy.

“A-Anything,” he whispered, voice barely above a breath. “Y-You can do a-anything to m-”

Oh, he had no idea what he had just agreed to.

*Slap.*

A sharp whimper nearing a moan tore from his lips as your palm met his cheek—not hard enough to hurt, just enough to shock him, to leave a lingering warmth on his skin. His breath hitched, and for a split second, his lashes fluttered as his whole body shuddered.

“You're funny, Haruka,” you mused, your fingers gripping his jaw, tilting his head up so he couldn’t look away. “I think you like this a little too much.”

A whimper escaped him, his hands now twitching at his sides. “I-I…”

Your other hand slid down his chest, slowly, teasingly, your fingers pressing into the fabric of his pants just enough to make him feel it. You could tell he was getting hard, a small bulge forming in his pants. His breath hitched, his knees wobbling as his whole body became hyper-aware of your every touch down where he needed it most.

“Then beg me,” you murmured.

Haruka whined, his face going impossibly red embarrassed that he was enjoying this so much, finally getting your attention. “P-Please… t-touch me, u-use me, I-I d-don’t care—j-just don’t s-giving me attention—”

God, he was adorable.

You pressed your knee between his thighs, just enough to make him gasp, feeling the now hard bulge begging for relief through his pants, his hands clutching at your clothes in pure desperation. “So needy,” you mused, tilting your head. “You really do love being controlled, don’t you?”

He nodded frantically, his breath coming in short, uneven gasps. “I-I do—I-I w-want you t-to t-take c-control—”

You brought your hands to his neck and lightly squeezed his throat, just enough to cut off the next word, just the right amount you knew a masochist like him would like. (Yuno told you he’d probably like it when she told you what she heard about Haruka’s interrogation with Es, maybe Es even told you themself).

His breath stuttered, his lashes fluttering shut for a moment before he forced himself to look at you again, drunkenly grinning like you were giving him ultimate pleasure.

Your lips curled into a smirk. “Go on, beg for it.”

His whole body trembled but he couldn’t stop smiling drunkenly, his grip tightening on your sleeves. “P-Please… I-I w-want you t-to t-take control… u-use me, d-do whatever y-you want, j-just don’t stop paying attention to m-me—” 

God, he was so cute and pathetic.

You chuckled, releasing his throat to let him to gasp for air. “You’re so cute… I bet you’d let me do anything to you.”

Haruka nodded frantically. His face was flushed and he was crying a bit to the point of whining, his breath coming in short, uneven gasps. “A-Anything… I-I b-belong to y-you, I-I’ll d-do whatever you w-want—”

Your hand slid down his chest, manicured nails courtesy of Muu sliding up under his shirt tracing his skin. His breath hitched, his whole body tensing.

“Good boy, happy you accepted my confession” you whispered.

A shuddering whimper escaped him, his knees threatening to buckle.

You leaned in, your lips brushing against his ear. “You’re mine now, Haruka. I’ll give you all the attention and love you crave.”

A sob tore from his throat. His whole body trembled as he clung to you, his nails digging into your clothes, as if you’d disappear if he let go. He was a mess—whimpering, gasping, crying from sheer happiness, his voice cracking as he nuzzled desperately into you. Happy to finally be noticed by you, to be loved weakly.

“Th-Thank you… th-thank y-you… I-I l-love you, I-I l-love you s-so much, p-please d-don’t l-let me go, p-please…” he whined.

You smirked, petting his hair like he was a cute puppy as his tall stature practically melted in your touch. Hopeless. Completely, utterly hopeless for you.

[mugglebornmarvelite]

A Valentine’s Day to Remember

Paring: Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Avenger! Fem! Reader

Summary: On Valentine’s Day, your training session with Bucky is no different. He’s tough on you, but you appreciate his guidance. However, a little interruption leads to a sweet surprise later that evening. Based on this request!

Word Count: Roughly 1.6k

Warnings: Fluff, teasing, slight angst (so slight that it’s barely there), awkwardness, unspoken feelings, the reader's anxious thoughts, protective Bucky, training (it wasn’t that great, but I wanted to write it for some cute tension), comical violence, playful chaos (it’s the Avengers after all)

Author’s Note: Thank you for the request. I tweaked it a little bit in the hopes of making it sweet and funny. @jackys-stuff-blog

I’m back, so enjoy more Valentine’s Day content :)

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Divider by: @strangergraphics 

The hum of the facility was peaceful, but the energy bouncing around inside you was anything but.

When you got out of bed, you glanced at the calendar. 

February 14th

You sighed and got ready to start your day.

You were still new to the team, only a few weeks into training with the Avengers. 

It was a potent mixture of excitement, fear, and joy wrapped in one.

You gave it your best shot, but every day, you felt like you fell just short of the bar set by the seasoned heroes around you. 

The Avengers were the best of the best, and sometimes it felt like they were trying to break you, push you past your limits, and then push some more. 

Bucky Barnes, in particular, was harder on you than anyone else. 

He didn’t want to admit it, but he cared. Not just because you were younger but because you were different. 

Sweet, shy, a little sunshine in a place that sometimes felt too dark.

You didn’t mind so much. You didn’t want to be perfect, but you wanted to prove to the team, especially Bucky, that you could hold your own. 

But training with Bucky means it’s going to be a long morning.

“Come on, kid,” Bucky said, his eyes locked on yours after you finished his warmups, which felt more like the entirety of a workout routine. “You can do better than that.”

“I am trying,” you said with a huff. 

You felt the weight of his gaze and had to resist the urge to fidget under it. His words made you feel small. You wanted to prove yourself to him. You wanted him to believe you could hold your own.

His lips twitched in a small, teasing smile. “You’ve gotta do better than that if you want to make it out there with the rest of us.”

You nodded and shifted your stance.

When his hand shot out to grab you, you reacted, trying to block, but he was faster. Bucky spun you around, twisting your arm behind your back. 

You grunted as you found your back pressed against his chest, his body flush against yours, his grip tightening around your wrist.

“Gotcha,” he murmured, his breath warm against your neck. 

“I… I wasn’t ready,” you stammered, embarrassed as you struggled to break free, but Bucky only chuckled.

“You never are,” he teased, his voice laced with amusement, “But you will be soon. Don’t worry, sunshine. I’ve got you.”

The warmth of his words seemed to melt the tension in your chest, but your heart still hammered in your ears, the proximity between you two making it hard to think straight. 

With a swift, practiced move, Bucky released you from his grip and pushed you lightly away. You stumbled back a few steps, regaining your footing. 

He was already readying himself for the next move, his steely blue eyes sharp again.

“Again,” he commanded, his voice firm but not unkind.

You nodded, trying to shake off the lingering heat from his touch, but it was impossible to ignore. You lunged at him, trying to catch him off guard.

He moved effortlessly, dodging your lunge. His flipped you flat on your back, and before you could react, Bucky was there, pinning you to the mat, his metal arm hovering over your chest.

He leaned down slightly, his face hovering just above yours. “You really need to work on your form,” he muttered.

You swallowed hard, heat flooding your cheeks. You could feel every inch of him above you.

“Not bad for someone like you,” Bucky said, his voice low, a hint of pride in his words. “But next time, try not to get flipped so easily.”

You chuckled nervously, still breathless beneath him. “Yeah… I’ll try,” you whispered, your voice softer than you intended.

There was a strange kind of intimacy in the air, as the world had quieted around you. Your eyes locked for a heartbeat longer than necessary.

But before either of you could say anything, a voice from the doorway broke the moment.

“Am I interrupting something?” Wanda asked as she strolled into the room, watching the two of you with a knowing smile.

You scrambled to sit up, feeling the awkward tension in the air as Bucky stood and offered you a hand, which you gratefully accepted.

“We were just about to finish this sparring session,” Bucky muttered.

“Oh, a sparring session, huh?” Wanda smile. “I didn’t realize they was that intense.” She turned her gaze to you, the corners of her lips curling into a grin. “So, any plans after this? Maybe a last-minute date? There are a lot of nice places around here, you know.”

You shook your head, slightly flustered. “I’m just going to stay in tonight,” you said softly. “Maybe watch a movie.”

“Stay in?” Wanda’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “It’s Valentine’s day. How about a date with a guy your age, maybe?” She flashed Bucky a pointed, subtle look, just enough to make the air shift. “I could set up something.”

You didn’t catch it, but Bucky’s expression darkened almost instantly. He stepped forward, his jaw tightening, and shot Wanda a sharp look. “No, she said she’s not interested in a date. And you need to stop trying to push that on her.”

Wanda raised both hands, feigning innocence. “Alright, alright. Just trying to make sure the poor girl doesn’t miss out on anything.”

She turned and walked out of the room, but not before sending Bucky a lingering glance that left him looking slightly annoyed.

You, on the other hand, were oblivious to the exchange. You simply smiled at Bucky, trying to shake off the odd tension in the room.

“I’m sorry…” You trailed off, unsure of how to finish the thought.

Bucky sighed, his gaze softening as he looked down at you. “It’s not your fault.”

“I-,” you started softly, though you were unsure what had just happened. But before you could dwell on it, Bucky clapped you on the shoulder.

“You’re fine, sunshine.” Bucky smiled. “Let’s get back to it.”

The warmth of his words lingered in the air long after Wanda left, and you found yourself wishing that the conversation had gone a little differently. But it was hard to focus on that when Bucky’s quiet reassurance made you feel special in a way you hadn’t expected.

Later that evening, fresh out of a long, soothing shower and wrapped in pajamas, you were met with quiet as you made your way downstairs. 

For the most part, everyone was out celebrating the holiday of love. But your plans included stuffing your face and watching comedies on the giant flat-screen TV.

Your plans stopped when you found Peter sprawled out on the couch, grinning from ear to ear. He was holding up a large box.

"Hey! Got a delivery for you!" Peter announced, his voice practically singing.

You raised an eyebrow. “What’s this?”

He gave you a mischievous smirk. “Dunno, but it’s got your name on it.”

Taking the box from his hands, you carefully opened it. 

Inside was a beautiful bouquet of wild daisies, lavender, and sunflowers, as well as a massive box of chocolates, wrapped with a level of neatness that had to be intentional.

There was a card that said, “Hope this makes your day a little sweeter, sunshine.” No name, but you had a very good idea of who it was from.

Before you could even process it, a voice came from behind you.

“You look surprised.” Bucky’s voice cut through the silence. 

Turning around, you found him standing in the doorway.

“I didn’t…” you started, but your words trailed off. 

The fact that he had gone to all this trouble for you meant something, didn’t it?

Bucky closed the space between you with a few long strides, and before you could think of anything else, he wrapped you in a hug, pulling you close to his chest. “You deserve it,” he murmured, kissing your forehead softly. His voice was warm, like melted chocolate, making your heart swell.

Bucky gently pulled back, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

“Let’s watch a movie, yeah?” Bucky asked, his voice smooth, like he knew he was about to make everything even better.

You nodded, still reeling from the sweet surprise. The day had been a chaotic mess of training and tension, but Bucky's thoughtful gesture made it feel like it was all worth it.

As you settled onto the couch, Bucky’s arm wrapped around your shoulder, and you melted against his side.

The movie began, but honestly, you weren’t even paying attention. All you could focus on was how perfect this was until Peter suddenly released an exaggerated “Ahem!” trying to get a peek at what was happening between you two.

Before you could even laugh, Bucky, without missing a beat, grabbed a vase off the table and threw it straight at Peter’s head. 

Not to inflict too much bodily injury, but definitely enough to scatter him like a cockroach when the lights come on.

Peter’s spidey sense kicked in just in time, and he shot a web to the ceiling, narrowly avoiding the vase. “Okay, okay! I get it! I’m clearly not wanted! I’m going!” He scrambled upstairs.

You let out a soft laugh, and Bucky grumbled under his breath, but there was a slight curve to his lips as he glanced at you. His arm pulled you even closer, and just like that, everything was perfect again. 

Except for the vase, but that was just a minor detail.

“WHO BROKE MY FAVORITE VASE?”

Or, not so minor.

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed!

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Much love x

- Maeve

[cuteandhughesy]

i’d LOVE to see you write “just sit down and let me pamper you” with joseph woll

prompt no.14: “just sit down and let me pamper you”

you’ve always loved being, for lack of a better term, a girl. fresh blow outs and velcro rollers. summer fridays lipgloss and planning outfits days in advance. choosing nail designs, watching rom coms, anx everything showers. also called pampering yourself.

and that’s not to say if you do those things you’re automatically girl, as well as if you don’t do those things, doesn’t mean you’re not a girl. but there’s just something that feels so relaxing and feminine about doing your skin care routine that you’re not sure what else to call it.

before joseph met you, he didn’t have a skin care routine. hell, most men don’t. he’d scrub his face with either shampoo or body wash in the shower and call it a day. so a few months into dating, just at the point where sleepovers became common, he found you in your bathroom before bed, sleeves rolled up and little towel bracelets around your dainty wrists.

your face was slathered in pre-cleanse, giving you that oily, wet look as you quirked a brow through the mirror in joseph’s direction. “you okay?”

he’s leanings against the doorframe, looking at you so curiously. his eyes move over your skin, the way your makeup is melting off, and then down to your bathroom counter. there’s so much skincare.

obviously he’s been in your bathroom before, but he’s never really looked at what you keep on your shelves and in your drawers. it’s rather intriguing—the lineup of products that you’ve set out in order of usage. joseph meets your gaze through the mirror, “what does that do? like the stuff on your face.”

“it’s called a pre-cleanse,” you say, wetting your hands and beginning to massage the cleanser into your skin. “it’s the first cleanser. to get off my makeup before the gel cleanser.”

“there’s multiple cleansers?”

you hum before leaning over the sink, cupping your hands under the tap and then splashing it over your face. you repeat that a few times.

curiosity gets the best of him and joseph walks further into your cluttered bathroom, moving right up beside you. he picks up one of the products. seaweed mask?

you rise back to your full height and jump in surprise when you spot your boyfriend, much closer than when you last saw him. he doesn’t even noticed you though, too busy switching out the mask in his hand for a milk toner, which he inspects in detail. “you use all of this? at once?”

“not at once,” you tell him, gently slapping his hand as he tries to grab your gel cleanser. you squirt some into your palm, and then put the bottle back down. joseph immediately grabs it, pops it open and sniffs. you giggle, emulsifying the product in your hands, “I just use the basic stuff everyday, and then if there’s something I need to focus on, i’ll incorporate certain products.”

“focus on?” he trails off, waiting for you to elaborate.

“like,” you start, washing your face, “if i’m breaking out. or if my skin is really dehydrated i’ll use more hydrating products.”

“oh,” he chimes, picking up one of the hydrating masks you must be referring to.

you wash the cleanser off your face before continuing. “that mask would be really good for you joe, with the ice and sweat and all that stuff.”

then it’s like you just found some kind of great discovery, eyes wild and bright as you spin half way around to look at your boyfriend. your hands, still wet, clap together, and you’re practically jumping on your feet. “oh my god, can I put it on you?”

you look so cute and so enamoured by the idea of putting a light blue face mask on him, all clean, rosy skin and a froggy headband pulling your hair back, that joe almost doesn’t want to say no. he sighs, tired from afternoon practice and not much sleep the night before. “I don’t think so, baby, but thanks.”

he pats your butt affectionately before making a move to leave your cluttered bathroom. but you’re not having that. you grab his arms, pulling him back towards you. “please,” you pout, “it’ll feel so good and your skin will thank you.”

he laughs, kissing your pout. “my skin is fine.”

you quirk a brow, “says who?”

his mouth opens, and he scoffs in amusement. “did you just diss on me?”

“just...sit down and let me pamper you” you grumble.

joseph sighs, and by the look he gives you, you already know your answer. and the answer is yes. you gleam, guiding him over to your closed role it seat and plopping him down.

“okay,” you start cheerfully, “do you want a cat headband, or a cow headband?”

“cat obviously.”

—

(not edited)

[5targh0st]

NUMBER ONE GIRL

78. don’t kick his ass (written)

prev // m.list // next

Looking at the ceiling, still feeling something between numbed and overwhelmed, Yeonjun convinces himself that he did what he had to do. It’s just a little break until he manages to get Yuna to stop harassing him. Once she’s out of the picture, all those feelings will go away. Once she’s gone again, he can go back to the life he’s worked so hard for, right? He knows he’s hurting the person he loves most in the world, but it’s all for a good reason. Surely, you will understand. He will explain and you’ll understand. Just not right now. Not when his old wounds are wide open and you can see his pitiful soul covered in blood. He just needs a few days, maybe weeks, and everything will be okay again.

He really wants to believe that, because it’s been just a couple of days and he’s already dying to talk to you and go back to how things were; how they’re supposed to be.

“Can you please calm down?” Dahyun sighs yet again.

Joshua’s been angry and anxious ever since he saw those posts. Just what the fuck is Yeonjun doing.

“I can’t!” He’s beyond exasperated right now. “She literally said nothing’s going on and yet has gone radio silence ever since. I need to know she’s okay, and she won’t talk to anyone. And I can’t go to Seoul ‘cause we’re closing an important deal and those fuckers insist on seeing me.”

“Hansol says he’s going,” she tries to reassure him.

“That’s way worse!” He complains.

As if sensing they were talking about him, Halson walks into the living room. He looks like he’s ready to kill someone.

“I’ll call you as soon as I get there.” He announces while he makes sure he has his passport with him.

“Just don’t kick his ass right away,” Dahyun pleads.

“I’m not making any promises,” Hansol rolls his eyes.

“She’s gonna hate us if you do,” Josh reminds him. “Just make sure to get both sides of the story.”

“We’re literally meddling in her private life, she’s gonna hate us regardless.” Sarcasm drips from his voice. “So I have to at least land a good punch on that fucker.”

Joshua can’t help but sigh again. Contrary to popular belief, Hansol is way more prone to be a lot more overprotective than he is, and that already says a lot. Of, course, Joshua knows he’s intense and kind of abrasive, but he’s never one to resort to violence. Josh admits he’s the bark, and Hansol is the bite. That’s why they make such a good team. And that’s why he didn’t want him to go alone.

“I really hope you guys don’t regret this,” Dahyun says hugging his waist.

“I think we will.”

During the flight, Hansol tries to think about something else. He really, really tries to write a song and even read the book he always carries around which title he’s already forgotten. He can’t. His mind goes back to his little sister and, by extension, to Josh.

He still remembers the day they met, they were both five and trying not to die of boredom at one of the fancy dinners their parents used to host all the time. Joshua’s chubby cheeks and proud grin are still clear in his mind, “I’m gonna be a big brother soon,” he remembers Joshua bragging. That summer, they met every day and Joshua would say he’d be his big brother too. He was bossy, even more than now, but he was fun. Joshua would try to teach him stuff and care for him, he really enjoyed flexing those few months between their birthdays. Hansol has to admit that he was a little jealous of Joshua’s unborn sister, he liked the attention and felt that the little girl would steal Joshua from him.

And then he saw her. So tiny and fragile, she stole his heart. “Can I be a big brother too?” He remembers asking Joshua. And it’s been like that ever since. He was there as much as he could and tried to help here and there. He thought little Yn would interfere with his time with Joshua, but it was Joshua who’d always tried to cut short his time with the little girl. He loved attending her tea parties and letting her and Karina paint his nails. He’s loved her ever since he first saw her, he’d give up his life for his sister. Blood doesn’t matter, that’s his sister. And he’s gonna make sure Yeonjun understands.

That’s what made him lose his mind in the first place. He was the first to welcome Yeonjun to their little family and even encouraged him to finally ask Yn out. He was really grateful for his presence in his sister’s life. He never expected that he would do something like this, especially completely out of nowhere.

“What the hell is going on?” He mutters looking out the window. There’s nothing to see, though, not besides some dark clouds in the distance.

Three days. It’s been three days since Yeonjun said he needed some space. You still can’t make sense out of his words. You tried texting him, calling him. You haven’t shown up to his place, though, you don’t think you could handle such a direct rejection if he refuses to see you even then. Where did it all go wrong? Everything was going great, better than great even. Everything was perfect.

Were you too pushy? Too clingy? Just too much? Or maybe he got scared? This was his first relationship after a really long time, after all. Maybe everything got way too serious way too fast. He did say he wanted to take things slow, see where it goes. But you thought you were on the same page, you thought you both had the same goals and desires. What if he was just trying to please you? What if you were just a means to an end? What if he was just trying to prove that he could be in a relationship?

But he said he loved you? Loved? When did you start to think about him in past tense? Isn’t he your present and future? Fuck. Everything is a little too overwhelming.

“I need to get out,” you say before grabbing your keys and going out.

You walk around for a few hours but turns out that that’s not enough to ease your mind. Your thoughts are still driving you crazy. Your heart still aching. And Yeonjun’s still missing. When did you get so used to him being around? You miss his jokes, his laugh. His yapping, his random stories. Every single part of him became a part of you. How is it possible to love someone that much in such a short time? His little quirks are engraved in your mind. And you miss him.

And then you see the best way to forget about everything. Even if just for a little while. You just want to forget. Life would be easier if you could just disappear until everything is right again.

“Just one drink,” you say before making your way into the bar.

Very bad idea.

notes:

please tell me you get the modern family reference 😭

joshua trying to be reasonable is my favorite thing ever

han is a real one

if you don't hate my writing and storytelling, you can help me choose my next story here lol

taglist: open! (3/50)

@estella-novella @poetryforthesad @lisaswifey @angelzforu @ihrtlix @gloriousqueenking @domfikeluva @conwunder @miniature-tragedy @jeonginplsholdmyhand @sh0dor1 @yourenzoo @tkshairband @realrintaro @castingjinx @amara-mars @hwangrfrnd @nujeskz @jisungs-iced-americano @zeizeisjy @va1entinaa @beomgyusluver @to-toad @akindaflora @hoefororeo @mandydxndy @nyanamii @delulu4-life @thatonexcgirl @starsunoo @4lndr17 @nbjch05 @borahae-reads @mrsstayfox @beomieeeeeeeeeeees @mrsminseochoi @velvetmoonlght @night-storm7 @lilbrorufr @hyunjinstolemyheart @mangojellyyy @ihrtantn @lausnotverybright @hwangism143 @wa1kinggh0st @skz-ot8-stay @athens-09xx

[nothoughtsjustficrecs]

This was such a sweet and lovely story! I really do love a good ye olde/ royalty fic 😍

Thank you for writing this wonderful story and sharing it with us!

When I was reading, I decided to write down my thoughts as I go because I knew I'd forget otherwise so below this is literally just the thoughts I wrote down because I do not have the brain power to convert them into actual fully coherent comments [I'll put them below a read more cut for the sake of spoilers and such]

-

“ He was notably excited and couldn’t sit down ” aw bless him

“ He tucked a strand of dark brown hair behind his ear, practically bouncing in his place. ” okay how dare he be so cute and precious tho, this story isn’t about you chan, take a step back (im kidding you’re so cute pls never stop)

“ it was almost two hours ” just the thought of that makes me exhausted omg

“ against his lifelong accomplice, Jeonghan. ” I read “accomplice” as “companion” at first and was like damn, I didn’t know it was that kinda story 😂

“ the bread perfectly golden and risen in small domes ” mm delicious

“ You knew if that happened, neither you or Chan would be allowed to return to the castle. ” I think the punishment would be a bit more severe than that for risking choking the prince, yikes, imagine that shitshow

“ this rustic meal ” nah why does that feel like an insult tho

“ You lay on your back, atop the fountain’s wide stone ledge, listening to the gushing water and staring up at the crescent moon. ” this sounds pretty perfect ngl

“ And right when you felt his lips ghost yours, Seokmin took a step back and you heard a huge fit of laughter erupt from the thick brush in the background. ” what assholes!

“ “Perhaps that cook quite liked you.” ” 😏 perhaps indeed

I love the way you describe stuff btw, I can be real iffy about descriptions sometimes because some people go over the top with it and I get bored, but you manage to paint a picture so effectively that I genuinely feel kind of envious of this character and I want to be her to experience the scenery

“ The next time you saw the Prince, you weren’t going to let him off easy. ” BEAT HIS ASSSSS

“ “you do not deserve my manners,” ” you tell him!

“ “Have you ever been left to wait, darling?” ” SCREAMING

“ “Not immediately, angel.” ” STOP IT, I WILL COMBUST

“ Suddenly, he cupped the sides of your face in his tender hands, urging you forward again, his lips brushing yours in such a gentle manner that a shiver tingled down your spine. ” AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH im fine (im not)

“ Everything felt like it was collapsing around you. ” looks like she’s not fine either, poor baby :((

“ “I refused the marriage to Lady Adelaide. She will return to Markarth before the sunset. I only told my mother and father this morning.” ” ahahhahahaha good

“ “I’m saying that I’m in love with you.” ” SCREECHING OVER HERE

“ “I-I thought I should gift it to you. And, whenever we must be apart, you can just think of this necklace, and the comfort that comes from a firefly’s glow.” ” nooo that’s so cute

⚬ pairing: prince!seokmin x fem!reader ⚬ word count: 12,690 ⚬ warnings: none. ⚬ genre: enemies to lovers, arranged marriage, angst, teasing, some slowburn romance, superfluff toward the end.

✧✎ synopsis: the time has come for prince seokmin to meet his arranged marriage, which forces you to confront a strange predicament: if you truly hate the prince, then why does the thought of him being with someone else hurt this badly?

✧✎ a/n: yeah… i’ve wanted to write some prince!lsm since his excalibur pictures. evidently, i am very late! i hope u enjoy nonetheless :-)

Hiking up the long, heavy layers of your dress, pale and coloured like lilacs, you retrieved a small carving knife that had been clandestinely strapped against your outer thigh. Buried a few feet away from you in the grass was a smooth, palm-sized piece of beech wood, which you quickly picked up before walking back to the bench. You sat down horizontally, stretching out your legs and taking up as much space as possible whilst you started carving down the edges of the beech wood, flicking away the occasional shavings.

Keep reading

[la-gotica-fantasma]

8 realistic situations to add to your writing -

Disclaimers: I cannot stress enough that I am not at all trying to tell you what to write, these are just some concepts / prompts. - My title does not mean that your more lovey-dovey scenes are unrealistic, I just couldn't think of how to title this - Some of these are scenes that have been used in my writing, so if by the off chance you are using any of these, please don’t copy the dialogue word for word. :}

ROMANTIC -

1) When both of them are cuddling / holding hands and one of them starts sweating.

★ “Ugh! I love you, but I don’t love all this sweat you produce!” “But it’s my love for you seeping out of my pores!” “I couldn't care less what it is. Off!” “Fine, your majesty.”

2) Each character hating their mother in law / partners mother

★ “Mom is asking to visit.” “And do what?” “I’m not sure, check up on everyone?” “She can check up her own ass for the stick I know she’s lost up there.”

★ “Well, your mother is no saint.” “She never claimed to be!” “Uh-huh, and when has mine?” “Circa-” “Okay! Truce?” “Truce.”

3) Character X bringing up a pet peeve they have with Character Y at a family gathering.

★ “Character Y does this one thing when they eat- they never scoop up their food with their fork, they’ll just attack it! Sometimes I can’t stand it.” “You never told me that bothered you?” “It didn’t bother me enough to mention it.” “Not until a family dinner?” “I didn’t mean anything negative by it-” **cue Character Y aggressively attacking their food with their fork** “Okay, I get it! We’ll talk later.”

4) Character X and Character Y bake with each other, except realistically.

★ “Character X, why are your arms wrapped around me?” “Because I love you.” “I love you too but I also love being able to actually mix the ingredients together.”

★ “Get the eggs!” “You told me to stop buying eggs because ‘inflation will kill us all’.” “I wasn’t wrong but, UGH-! I need eggs!” “Well I got them anyway, but still.”

★ “Stop touching things!” “How am I supposed to bake without touching anything?!” “You aren’t!”

5) Planning lies they'll tell in 5 years when people ask how they met.

★ "What if we say that we were playing bumper cars and I hit you so hard I fell into your car?" "Hmm.. how about we say that I was going to my best friends wedding and I was all down and glum, but a friend of mine told me to 'have some fun' and that maybe I'd meet someone special at the wedding, and that's when I saw you. You and a little yellow umbrella that I've seen in so many places before, and we just talked about our past together?" "I think that's been done before." "By who?" "One of the most popular rom-coms ever aired."

★ "We could say I saved you from-" "I'm gonna stop you right there." "Fine. What's your idea then, if you're so smart?" "We tell them we met in a psychiatric ward." "Wow. Exquisite thinking." "Just imagine the looks on their faces!"

PLATONIC / ROMANTIC -

6) Those moments where neither party can decide on something so they do nothing, only for them both to yell out what they want and it coincidentally be an agreement.

★ “What do you want for dinner?” “I’m not sure, what do you want?” “I dunno.” **cue them both lazing around, doing nothing for minutes** “Spaghetti.” “It’s like you can read my mind.”

7) Character X asking Character Y how their day went, and Character Y just breaks down in tears- not because their day was bad, but just because Character X asked.

★ “Hi, how was work?” **cue ‘ugly’ sobbing** “Oh no, was it really that bad?” “No- It just- It was just- sweet to- ask-”

8) Stuff that should be awkward really not being awkward at all.

★ “Did you just fart?” “Yeah.” “Okay, good.” “‘Good’?” “Good that it’s not a gas leak.” “Yeah, I had to force it out a little bit.” "So definitely not a leak." "Definitely not."

p.s. Your writing is captivating as always suga, and I am abidingly proud of you and your work. <3

Morbid affection,

- Tipsy ᓚᘏᗢ

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Hiiii, can you please write something where both the hero and villain are extremely touch starved and they are in some forced proximity situation where they are close together and they both just cling to each other! I love your writing!

“…well?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one?” the villain mumbled, looking from left to right in the tiny supply closet, their back pressed against the shelf.

There was no room for movement, especially with someone like the hero right in front of them. They supposed there were downsides to being as fit as their nemesis.

“I didn’t expect us to get locked in…” The hero didn’t meet the villain’s eyes and the villain averted their eyes just as quickly. The villain didn’t want to think about it.

They didn’t want to think about the fact that they were chest to chest with their nemesis. That they basically couldn’t move in the slightest; not to the right, nor to the left. They couldn’t turn, they couldn’t switch positions - nothing.

The villain wasn’t claustrophobic and they didn’t think the hero was either. It wasn’t about the space per se, the villain assumed. It was about that one person, that one annoying person being this close. The villain took in a deep breath which pressed them even closer against the hero.

“Is this a prank?”

“Yeah, I guess. Someone must’ve seen us. Sidekicks can be a little mean. I just wanted to talk in private, I didn’t know it would be this…difficult in here.” The hero moved slightly - putting their hand on the shelf behind the villain - and the villain wanted to curse. “The door is definitely locked, I guess we’ll have to wait for now.”

They paused.

“So…uh…what exactly are you doing here?”

“I was asked to come here for negotiations,” the villain said. Their cheeks were burning. If the hero moved again like that, they’d both face a few problems within the next seconds.

“Oh, that explains the nice outfit,” the hero said. They could feel the hero’s warm breath on their neck. Christ.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” the villain asked suddenly. They couldn’t look at the hero and the hero wasn’t looking at them either.

At least they had undeniable awkwardness in common. How charming.

“What?”

“You’ve been avoiding me,” the villain said. “We haven’t fought in a while.”

“Uh…We can start arguing if you want to..?” The hero moved again and the villain’s head started reeling when they realised how good the hero smelled. Had they ever been this close before? Close enough that the villain could notice that?

With the villain’s thigh basically between the hero’s thighs because of the space?

God, their hearts weren’t that much apart now, were they? What an awful thought.

“I’d like to avoid that, I just mean that I haven’t seen you around much. You’re not plotting my downfall, are you?”

“Unfortunately not, I’ve been busy in the office. Pretty tiring.” Yeah, right. As if someone as important and useful as the hero was being chained to a desk. A secret mission, maybe? “But negotiations, huh? You’re switching sides now?”

“Just some formal stuff,” the villain lied.

“Ah, cool.”

Both of them knew they were being lied to. And both were fully aware that the other was aware of it too. No escape. The villain feared they could only pray.

“I’m not avoiding you,” the hero said, whispered almost.

“Yeah, you said that already.”

“Sorry, I didn’t know if it came across properly.” Came across properly? The villain took in a tiny breath. It would have been very easy to lean against the hero and start melting.

“It came across, don’t worry.” It would have been very easy to lean against the hero’s neck. To touch their waist. “For how long do sidekicks imprison other people?”

“Uh…like 30 minutes.”

“Dear God.”

They were freed 20 minutes later, but the villain was pretty sure they’d been closer to hell than heaven.

For the next few weeks neither the hero nor the villain could look each other in the eyes when they were supposed to be fighting.

[m3nt4lly1ll1]

I have actually a horrific (to me— post writing it’s not actually that horrific from the outside eye. It was very horrific for me tho) story regarding this which is odd

For reference, I was really young. Like I was 13 alright. I was a kid who used Omegle to rp Mha, because it fueled my creative little brain. And I met this person. They were a year younger than me, but that was never really an issue. We were friends for a while, and eventually we started dating. Ish. Issue was, they lived so far that the time difference was 8 hours. So I would stay up and chat with them. Even when I got grounded, I would find a way. I loved them a whole lot. Even though we were young, we had talked about the future and moving in together and stuff. I risked a lot at the time to talk with them.

And then one day, without any kind of warning, they just disappeared. Stopped talking. Deleted their discord. Stopped reading my Google chat messages. I didn’t hear from them. And it killed me. It was really rough.

2 years ago I got back in contact with her. And she explained, basically, that her fear based on her religion made her fear our relationship and her identity. She couldn’t date me or anything because she was scared to go to hell (not a Christian - btw) and she was scared at the time to tell me because she didn’t know how I would react. I don’t blame her, I still don’t, and I never will. But I do think about her a lot.

We were supposed to keep in contact but slowly she stopped reading my messages again. This time I was content — I know why, even if it really sucks as I’m crying right now. It was genuinely one of the most serious relationships I ever had. Even if it was a long time ago, I know I was really happy and I miss the way it made me felt.

She still updates her Pinterest from time to time, so I know she’s alive and well, at least.

Idk if she’ll ever read this. Maybe. But if she is — hi. I don’t know what to say but uh 🫡

[sgtpeppers]

Paul McCartney & Memory Almost Full (2007): A Reconciliation of ‘Him’ and ‘Me’

"When you talk about Paul McCartney, I talk about the guy inside me, but you’re talking about him - the guy who goes onstage and makes records and stuff. And I think it’s just a way of preserving my sanity really, is thinking ‘I’m not really that, I’m just some little kid from Liverpool really. I didn’t do all that stuff. It’s a dream really and it’s gonna stop soon."

Paul McCartney, Flaming Pie Press Kit Interview, 1997

Thematically, Memory Almost Full is probably one of the easiest Paul albums to talk about, because it's not exactly subtle. It's there in the title, in the lyrics, and in the way Paul talks about it, but I think it's still worth pulling it apart a bit.

In short, it's album that looks to the past in an attempt to get to grips with it.

Paul often talks about needing some separation in his head from Paul the celebrity and Paul in private, but this album goes some way to reconciling those separate versions of himself, giving him a moment to step back and look back at his life and the effect on the man he's become, before swinging the camera in the opposite direction and asking what comes after that.

Secondly, there's a thread running through this album which is somewhat contradictory to the idea that he struggles to put all the pieces of himself together, one that describes a man who does know who he is, and in very confident in that and in his ability to make his own decisions.

This is a track by analysis of the album, examining lyrics as well as Paul's comments about the songs.

Background on the album:

Memory Almost Full began life in 2003 and was produced by David Kahne. The first batch of sessions were around the time that Paul and Heather's child was born, so it's easy to see already why Paul may have been in a reflective mood. The medley songs, as well You Tell Me, Only Mama Knows, and The End of The End were recorded then.

Paul then took a break to record Chaos and Creation In The Backyard which was released in 2005. Paul then returned to Memory Almost Full over 2006 and 2007, in the midst of his divorce with Heather. Again, like with the birth of a child, the ending of marriage is the sort of life changing event you'd expect to cause someone to start contemplating their past, present and future.

Track Analysis:

Dance Tonight:

Okay so starting off this track really isn't that deep, but it does have a sweet little story behind it:

At home, I started stomping around the kitchen, playing this little instrument, just enjoying myself. I sang, ‘Everybody gonna dance tonight’ and my little girl came running in and started dancing, so I fell in love with the song. In fact, I liked it so much I ran into the studio to record it, and stuck it on the album. It seemed like a good atmospheric opening.

Paul McCartney, interview with The Daily Mail, 2008

The interesting thing to note here is that he is starting off the album with a sense of 'now'. This is him, in the present, with one of his kids loving a song and rushing to the studio to record it. He starts off the album with 'this is where I'm at'.

Ever Present Past:

Which brings us nicely to the first track of the album that really kicks off this exploration of Paul's past and linking it to how things are in the present.

I don't want to do Paul a disservice here but this is one of those tracks where he says he doesn't read too much into it:

There’s no deep meaning in it. I think what happens with me is that I just write something and people read into it. I like that, because often you do things in a subliminal way and don’t realise what you’re doing.

Paul McCartney, interview with The Daily Mail, 2008

So I'm gonna do the reading into it for him, because it fits too well with the album to just ignore it. It is a song about this huge, unbelievable life he's lived that is impossible for him escape from, because no matter how much he wants to compartmentalise, his past is his.

Searching for the time that has gone so fast The time that I thought would last My ever present past

Ever Present Past Lyrics

There's a sense of it slipping away, of something being gone, and yet of it being still very present. I often get the sense Paul is someone who is constantly at odds with himself, and I think you get that here; a struggle between wanting to hold onto the past while also feeling that it's an overwhelming thing to accept is his.

And when you also look at the video, where Paul literally comes face to face with another version of himself, we return to that idea that he is most comfortable when he separates the performer 'him' to the private 'me', and playing into that idea of his duality.

In this song we also touch on this idea of Paul being very sure of himself, and this isn't him talking about himself now. This is him saying that he's always been one to walk his own path. We'll come back to this in a bit.

I wouldn't join in with the games that they were playing.

Ever Present Past Lyrics

See Your Sunshine:

That is pretty much an out-and-out love song for Heather. A lot of the album was done before, during and after our separation. I didn’t go back and take out any songs to do with her. That one was written during a good time with Heather. I don’t want to deny those times. When you’re going through a separation it’s always tempting to put all that behind you, but I don’t think that’s right.

Paul McCartney, interview with The Mirror, 2007

I love that Paul included this song rather than scrapping it. By the time the album came out him and Heather were in the midst of their divorce, which wouldn't be settled until the following year. It would have been easy to leave it, or to do the thing he's done with a lot of his love songs and say it's not really for any particular person, but instead he's clear that this was about a good time with Heather and despite everything else that happened, that's still important.

And so while the lyrics themselves don't add much to the theme, I think its inclusion makes it reflective, and it makes it a piece of his history that he is able to say is his and was an important part of his life.

Only Mama Knows:

This is one of Paul's story songs, and there's a few important things here even if again, the lyrics themselves aren't totally on theme.

I like to get into those imaginary stories, then follow them through and become that character. The lead character in this song is someone who was left by his mother, doesn’t know why she left him and doesn’t know if he’ll ever see his father’s face. It’s interesting because it takes you out of yourself. You can become an alter ego. It doesn’t have to be Paul McCartney singing it – it can be this other guy singing.

Paul McCartney, interview with The Daily Mail, 2008

Once I start writing about that I obviously come to it from my own perspective. I'm just acknowledging that the kid whose Mother left him has got more problems than the average person in life.

Paul McCartney, The Lyrics, 2021

So first of all, this song is based on a real person, a friend of Paul's who was adopted as a baby after being left by his Mother. So I don't want to take away from that, but art and storytelling doesn't just have to come from one inspiration and as he also says, he comes at this from his own perspective. Therefore, it's hard not to tie in the fact that in a different way, he was 'left' by his Mother when she died and then there's also the fact that John has a remarkably similar story of being left by his parents as what's described in the song. In a round about way, I think this is Paul's nod back to those teenage years and sense of loss and grief which was prevalent in him and the people around him.

The other interesting thing to me is "You can become an alter ego. It doesn’t have to be Paul McCartney singing it – it can be this other guy singing". Again, Paul separating himself into two, taking the chance to stand in someone else's shoes, but specifically on a song that understandably may bring up difficult emotions for him.

You Tell Me:

Carrying on the darker mood of the album, we get to what producer David Kahne described as "maybe the saddest song he’s ever written" (x).

I started off just remembering summers: ‘Were we really there?’ ‘Was it real?’ Sometimes, for a lot of people, memories – particularly childhood memories – seem so golden and you think, ‘Did it really not rain all summer or am I just imagining the sunny bits?’

Paul McCartney, interview with The Daily Mail, 2008

In You Tell Me Paul is repeatedly asking the person he's singing to to confirm that the way he remembers things it right, because it seems like it was too good to be true.

Were we there, was it real? Is it truly how I feel? Maybe You tell me

You Tell Me lyrics

It's melancholic and uncertain, there's so much doubt laced through the song and directly ties back to Ever Present Past and the idea that he's "searching" for his past, and that it went "too fast". Compared to a lot of the tracks on this album, it's stripped back with a huge feeling of vulnerability coming from Paul not even trusting himself that what happened, really happened.

Mr Bellamy:

Am I really gonna tie Mr Bellamy in with this whole thing? Yes I absolutely am because for me this is one of those songs that sums up that second thread I was talking about at the start - confident, knows exactly who he is Paul. "I wouldn't join in with the games that they were playing" Paul from EPP.

I wanted some lyrics that would poke in and out of the riff, so I began with, ‘I’m not coming down, no matter what you say, I like it up here.’ Sometimes I don’t actually know where I’m going, so then I look at just what that verse is, and in this case I got a picture of a guy sitting on top of a skyscraper and all the people in the street – the rescue team, the psychiatrist, the man with the megaphone shouting: ‘Don’t jump’ and the people shouting: ‘Jump’. So I fished around for a name and came up with Bellamy, which sounded like someone who might want to jump. And I just followed the story through. The end is like a pull back with a camera – there he is, little Bellamy sitting on the ledge, enjoying it up in the clouds.

Paul McCartney, interview with The Daily Mail, 2008

So Mr Bellamy tells the story of a man sitting up on a roof, with everyone below him panicking and telling him not to jump. The opening lyrics, repeated towards the end are:

I'm not coming down No matter what you do I like it up here Without you

My Bellamy Lyrics

My reading on this song is that it's not about someone who's actually going to jump, I've always felt more like Bellamy just wants to be left the fuck alone, for people to stop interfering so he can enjoy the view. He likes it up there.

This is very Paul to me. His decisions have always been his own, to the point where he has been labelled as 'controlling' by people who have worked with him, but I think the other side of that is that he can say with certainty that everything he's done is his and I think that's really important to him.

What this song does very well (apart from being fun because who doesn't love Paul doing silly voices) is contrast with the previous uncertainty about himself in You Tell Me. He's taken us from a place of needing external validation, to a place where he (or, yeah yeah whatever, 'Mr Bellamy') knows exactly what he wants to do and doesn't need to hear other people opinion's.

Gratitude:

So the mood starts shifting into more upbeat Paul here, but I do think there's a slightly odd contrast between the song and what Paul says about the song.

Before I looked this up I assumed this was a Heather song because it reads as someone looking back on a relationship that has ultimately gone wrong, but still being grateful for the good times (therefore, tying in with See Your Sunshine). Considering it was one of the later songs worked on, so Paul and Heather would have been separated by the time it was recorded, that makes sense to me. Also if we take a look at the lyrics, I think they very much allude to how Paul was feeling after Linda's death:

Well I was lonely I was living with a memory But my cold and lonely nights ended When you sheltered me

Gratitude lyrics

And then the relationship falls apart:

I should stop loving you Think what you put me through But I don't want to lock my heart away

Gratitude lyrics

But then we have what Paul's said about the song:

I’ve always had a couple of voices. Originally you’re just a kid at home, like everyone else, and then you start to dream of being a singer. My heroes then were rock ’n’ rollers, so my ballad voice was based on Elvis and the screamy voice was me trying to be Little Richard. I loved him so much. When I joined the Beatles, John used to like that and it’s stayed with me as something I enjoy doing – that gritty, souly voice. So on this track I was just thinking of how much there is to be grateful for in life, and I wanted to put that into song and use the gritty voice to do it with.

Paul McCartney, interview with The Daily Mail, 2008

It's one of his more vague answers, and maybe he just doesn't wanna talk about it which is fair enough. But to me the song seems to be directed at a person rather than life in general. Either way, we have Paul looking back on something and being grateful for it and the positive impact it had on him, rather than trying to separate himself from it.

What's also of note here, is the thing about wanting to do a song using his Little Richard voice, and how in talking about that he links back to The Beatles. We're getting more specific about where in Paul's past we're talking about now which means...

The Medley

There is a medley of 5 songs towards the end and that was purposefully retrospective. I thought this might be because I’m at this point in my life, but then I think about the times I was writing with John and a lot of that was also looking back. It’s like me with ‘Penny Lane’ and ‘Eleanor Rigby’ – I’m still up to the same tricks!

Paul McCartney, introducing Memory Almost Full, 2007

I hadn’t done that since Abbey Road and I thought it would be quite nice to flirt with that idea again. It just means it’s a slightly longer form. You’ve got to think, ‘What came before?’ ‘What statement are you going to make now?’ ‘How’s this going to lead on?’ It’s not that different from just sequencing an album, but you suddenly think of them as a suite of songs, and it’s interesting to write them in that way.

Paul McCartney, interview with The Daily Mail, 2008

So I think the entire album was built around this medley. As mentioned earlier, they were the first songs recorded and it seems he consciously went into it aiming to toy with that Abbey Road idea, another pointed link back The Beatles.

Vintage Clothes:

For me this is about my clothes from the Sixties and the fact that what’s out comes back – fashion going round in circles. I meet quite a few young guys in bands and a question they always ask is, ‘Did you keep the clothes?’ As a matter of fact I did. The Beatles had a tailor, Dougie Millings – he’s in a scene in A Hard Day’s Night. Instead of just going to get a suit as you did before, for a job interview or whatever, suddenly you were going to get epaulettes and fancy buttons, materials and linings. That to me is where the song is coming from. The message is: vintage clothes are great but don’t live in the past.

Paul McCartney, interview with The Daily Mail, 2008

So there's a very literal reading of him actually singing about old clothes and wearing them again (which he does!) but he does go a little bit deeper when talking about the song, with the idea of not "living in the past". I wonder if that's how he justifies trying to keep that separation in place sometimes, that it's for his own good because because dwelling on things that have happened won't change them, but I also think this lyric is significant:

A little worn A little torn Check the rack What went out is coming back

Vintage Clothes lyrics

He tells us that "fashion goes round in circles" but I also like a deeper meaning to this, something about your past catching up with you perhaps, which would tie in nicely with the rest of the album. But, even as a song that is literally about his old clothes, it sets the tone for the medley and and the following song, which I kinda think is the entire point of the album.

That Was Me:

Yes, Paul! It was! You really did all that! That Was Me takes us back to Liverpool and through The Beatles, and is the triumphant, proud acceptance that it was 'me', no long talking about Performer Paul in the third person.

All I had to do for this song was to think back. And immediately I go back to Liverpool, where there was a little place we could escape to, beautiful little woods where, come springtime, there would be these carpets of bluebells. It was a magical place. There’s something about me at the bus stop that’s a big part of my memories – going to school, coming home from school, going to the pictures, going to your friend’s house. So all of these things got in there. ‘The cellar’ is the Cavern, ‘Royal Iris’ is a ferry boat they had – they’d call them riverboat shuffles, and some of our earliest gigs were on them. So these are just exciting memories of mine, and I connected them.

Paul McCartney, interview with The Daily Mail, 2008

The same me that stands here now And when I think that all this stuff Can make a life, it's pretty hard to take it in That was me

That Was Me lyrics

So we're back to confidant Paul, Paul who knows who he is and is willing to point at The Beatles and say that was me no matter how unbelievable it all was. In classic Paul style though, the song is happy, upbeat, and a collection of what he calls "exciting" memories, rather than dwelling on the hard bits which I think he has much more difficulty doing.

Feet In The Clouds:

But talking of more difficult memories, we get to the song about his school days.

Because of the retrospective mood of this medley, it then goes back to school and teachers. I had a real motley bunch of teachers at the Liverpool Institute High School for Boys. Some of them were complete maniacs. Whereas I wrote about golden summers in You Tell Me, school was very dark and gloomy. The building itself wasn’t the lightest of places – it was built in 1825. This seemed to affect the attitude of the teachers. They were a dark bunch of people. So the song is like a therapy session for me.

Paul McCartney, interview with The Daily Mail, 2008

I love the concept of this song and the flipping round of the well known phrase "head in the clouds".

I've got my feet in the clouds Got my head on the ground

Feet In The Clouds lyrics

To me it goes back to that idea of Paul always walking his own path, even if it's not the normal one, he's not just subverting a well known saying but the literal imagery speaks of the same thing. His head is on the ground, giving the idea of his thoughts being 'grounded' but his feet are the ones doing their own thing, going where they're not supposed to. Getting him away from school perhaps, but also treading a path other people haven't walked which is exactly what he did. So it serves as a retrospective piece but also tying up that thread Paul does and has always known who he is and what he wants, no matter what other people were telling him.

House of Wax:

My personal favourite on the album, god I love this song and the mood it creates. On the first listen you may think... what's this got to do with this 'retrospective medley' Paul's talking about, but we actually get some surprisingly helpful insight from The Lyrics.

You get on a train of thought, and things just come in without you noticing. The poets are about “To set alight the incomplete / Remainders of the future’. I think that’s just a way of saying ‘to clarify things’.

Paul McCartney, The Lyrics, 2021

I had this little idea that the ‘remainders of the future’ were sort of buried in the yard, just like hidden treasure. Meaning that we don’t know what’s going to happen.

Paul McCartney, The Lyrics, 2021

So we've got these ideas of clarifying things, making them less confusing, combined with the future being unknowable. This is Poet Paul, and whilst I don't think this song needs to anything more than it is, knowing his intention with those lyrics does tie into the themes of trying realign with his past, and also of living a life where another crazy thing can be just around the corner...

The End Of The End:

For example, the fact Paul is going to die one day. I know, I don't want to think about it either. But Paul was certainly thinking about it and wrote a whole about what he hopes will happen, how he hopes he's remembered for the good times, for the songs and the stories and happy memories.

On the day that I die I'd like jokes to be told And stories of old To be rolled out like carpets That children have played on And laid on while listening To stories of old

The End Of The End lyrics

At the end of the end It's the start of a journey To a much better place And this wasn't bad So a much better place Would have to be special No need to be sad

The End Of The End lyrics

It's classic Paul taking a sad song and making it better. After an album of looking back on a life that's hard to grapple with and of relationships that have stopped working, Paul changes to the perspective from looking back to looking forward, and decides that hey, this has all been pretty good. And even when contemplating death, he brings in that classic Paul optimism - if this has been good, imagine how much better the next thing will be.

Nod Your Head:

And then, because it's Paul and he can't just end things there, he needs to bring the mood up again. There's not a huge amount to say for me personally, so I'll end with Paul's own words before I wrap things up:

Well, that End Of The End brought the party down, didn’t it? It was going to be the last track on the album, but we thought we couldn’t leave everyone going, ‘Oh God, I’m not going to listen to that again.’ So we had a little stompy rocker called Nod Your Head and we thought we’d let them off the hook. I think it’s good to talk about difficult subjects and then to get off it and just rock out. So that was the feel of making the album. Get some personal thoughts out (Gratitude, The End Of The End), talk about my childhood, talk about love, about beautiful memories. Try and get everything said, but with a feeling of optimism and enthusiasm. I thought if I could accomplish it all then that would be a good thing to do.

Paul McCartney, interview with The Daily Mail, 2008

The Title

Memory Almost Full is probably one of my favourite album names because it's so perfect. It's that imagery of a life well lived with lots of memories, but it was also a phrase Paul picked up from seeing it on his phone, which is a nice little link to his present day. Although, thankfully eighteen years later he's still cramming those memories in.

One extra little thing:

Some people mentioned that the album’s title, Memory Almost Full, is an anagram of “for my soulmate LLM” (the initials of Linda Louise McCartney). When asked if this was intentional, McCartney replied; “Some things are best left a mystery“. In an interview with Pitchfork Media, McCartney clarified, “I must say, someone told me [there is an anagram], and I think it’s a complete mystery, because it’s so complete. There does appear to be an anagram in the title. And it’s a mystery. It was not intentional.

(x)

Conclusion (yes, I'm stopping soon 😭)

To me, Memory Almost Full is thematically one of Paul's most cohesive albums, and he's being very transparent with what he's doing. I'm not saying he should all feel sorry for Paul because he's Too Famous, but I do think it's understandable that everything he's done is inconceivable in hindsight, and he finds it much easier to put those parts of his life in boxes.

It's a contradictory album in a lot of ways, but Paul has always been a bit contradictory, pulled between who he is and who he thinks other people want him to be, being very aware of the paths people are expected to take and then choosing to take his own. This is an album that speaks to that, that speaks to the kid in Liverpool with big dreams and those dreams being completely mindboggling when he got them, of a man who sometimes looks back and struggles to accept those things happened to him, and is at the same extremely proud of what he's achieved.

I guess my point is, if you haven't listened to the album yet, you should go and do that now.

And if you've made this far thank you and ily <3

[vir-tanadahl]

This is a scheduled post, so I’m not officially back. I have seriously debated stepping away from all of my vir tanadahl accounts and just signing off.

Honestly, when I made that post, I had no idea what to expect—but I definitely didn’t expect someone to tear my writing apart, color-code their complaints, and make a spectacle of everything they thought was wrong with it. It wasn’t just criticism. It was beyond criticism. It felt like a public shaming for not being a better writer or storyteller. 

…I’m not some aspiring author. I just write for fun. Fanfic was supposed to be an escape, a way to just write without stressing over world-building or getting every little detail perfect.

I write because I have ideas about the characters that I think are interesting…and that maybe others would find them interesting too.

I’m sure some people don’t like my writing—maybe they find it too cold or too structured—but for me, it feels soothing. It just makes sense to my brain. I know it’s not the best, and it’s definitely not something meant for legitimate publication.

I write that way because it’s what I’m used to. It’s the kind of writing I have to do every day. I have to document things professionally, where there’s an expectation for everything to be formal and structured. It’s just how my brain has been trained to put words together.

I obviously struggle with making things more concise when it comes to creative writing.

The point for fanfics relates back to community and giving back to the community. 

I don’t think people realize how much harm these call-out posts are doing to the trust between writers and readers. They’re creating an environment of doubt and fear. the exact opposite of what fosters creativity. Like having to worry about “big brother” watching over my shoulder. 

And, uh… man, that whole thing really messed with my head. I’ve tried to write since, but I just freeze up. All I can think about is those stupid color-coded highlights, like a giant, flashing reminder of how bad my writing is.

Honestly, I just end up feeling ashamed that my writing isn’t better, which is such a weird place to be. Even when my writing was objectively worse (seriously, some of my earliest stuff on Ao3 was rough), I never felt ashamed of it. Embarrassed, sure. But not shame.

I could see how much I had grown in just the first two years I started posting. And I could see how much I’ve grown from 2017/2018 to my writing now, even though I was no longer active in the fandom. I kept writing, just not creatively. I was am really proud at that growth.

I put so much time and effort into those fics. I tried to make sure every detail connected, that everything felt cohesive. I really, really tried.

But somehow, it wasn’t until that person decided to literally lay it all out, color-coded and everything, that I started feeling like my writing wasn’t just average—it was something to be ashamed about.

And I’m sure some of you are probably shouting at your screens right now, telling me not to let one person’s opinion get to me.

And you know what? You’re right—I shouldn’t. But shame is a powerful emotion, and once it settles in, it’s not so easy to shake.

Especially when it is so easily to color code all the flaws for the world to see. 

Ironically enough, that was the fanfic I was already struggling with. I hated that fic. I never told anyone because I knew how many people were enjoying it and looking forward to it. But the truth is, I was so insecure about it the whole time.

I’m pretty sure I kept telling people it was “challenging.” The reality is I was miserable writing that fic. I was struggling to figure out to describe everything.

And of course, that one person just had to find the one fic I was already insecure about—the one I was really struggling with—and then went out of their way to make it very clear that, yeah, I struggle with writing. (Tbh, I do find it is mildly amusing how that happened and have to laugh a little bit about it.)

I’m mostly feeling ashamed right now more than feeling scared, but I do oscillate between them. Which is what that person wanted me to feel, to feel shame, cause they thought AI wrote my stuff…so they treated it like shit…and nope. All me…

And I’m trying really hard not to let the shame win. That’s why I’m still going to stay off Tumblr and most of my other socials connected to vir tanadahl, for now, while I work through this barrier with my writing.

I’ll end this post with this: I’m pretty determined not to let shame win. Naming it, sharing it—it helps. Hopefully, in the next few weeks, I’ll be back… or at least back to posting my writing on Ao3.

In the meantime, feel free to read these:

This one is from the Legal Research Center from the University of San Diego titled ‘The Problems with AI Detectors: False Positives and False Negatives’ updated in January 2025.

This is an announcement from Vanderbilt University titled ‘Guidance on AI Detection and Why We’re Disabling Turnitin’s AI Detector’ from August 2023.

This one from Illinois State University titled ‘Why Don’t AI Detectors Work’ that was updated sometime in 2025 because there is a citation from a publication from 2025. 

I found this statement from Illinois State University website interesting:

A January 2025 study shows that AI detectors remain consistently inconsistent, sometimes getting close to accuracy but then delivering different scores on the exact same files in subsequent checks. 

Thanks to everyone who let me borrow their brave for a little bit. It really helped me find my own.

[raddagher]

Hi! I’m curious about your stance on generative AI? I understand how bad chat gpt and generative art and stuff is for people and artists (since I am one) but I’m more curious on your stance on character.ai! I mean this in a truly respectful way and I want to educate myself on the possible harm I’m causing by using character ai? I personally use it because of unfavorable circumstances when it comes to friendships and family, and i talk to fictional characters to comfort myself and disassociate, i have noticed that the community is a little… iffy at times. (I will admit that my use of it has become a problem but I’ve been trying to avoid using it so often).

For some reason, Tumblr users always are able to find sources and stuff that aren’t heavily biased (whenever I do research on new issues i always find really big biases that damage the integrity of the information) and I want to have a better educated opinion on character AI :)

And I truly don’t mean to come across as rude or mean or a “pro generative ai” troll, I just want to know more!

Thank you! Have such a lovely day :D

Hey! Happy to give you some thoughts and info

I am also against the use of c.ai

If you use character.ai as a tool for escapism, what you really need is actual original art. C.ai is just real, good art, ground up and spat back to you. It's like creative high fructose corn syrup. It gives you something you think you want, really quickly, but it won't satiate you and it won't actually feed your soul. Real art will.

Think about every character that you simulate with an LLM like character.ai. There are SO MANY new "favorite characters" that you haven't discovered yet, and c.ai is robbing you of that opportunity by feeding you a worse, cheapened version of those characters.

And even putting aside the damage to the environment, and the damage to artists, LLM use is damaging YOUR BRAIN. Researchers are now finding that frequent Gen-AI use causes "skills decay" and damage to your cognitive ability. Using C.ai could very well be eroding your ability to be creative.

Instead of using c.ai for comfort or escapism, I encourage you to find a roleplay partner, or start writing self-insert fan fiction. You don't have to post it anywhere. It can be as ridiculous and self-indulgent as you want it to be. It doesn't have to be good. Just make it with your own brain and your own creativity, and not with the Brain Damage Plagiarism Machine

[maskedcrawford]

Hidden Secrets

G-Dragon x Reader

Summary: Ji-yong told you the truth, but what's going to happen now?

Warnings: The usual, some angst but with fluff.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has showed this series love and for all the follows and support. Y'all have no idea how much it means to me!

Requests are OPEN

Chapter 3

Chapter 4- Risk Takers

“Ji-yong,” your voice is barely above a whisper.

“I think we owe it to ourselves to at least try,” his voice is audibly worried you're going to reject him.

“I mean, can you honestly tell me you don’t feel anything, between us,” he’s standing in front of you now motioning between you. You look at the ground and feel tears prick your eyes. Could you take the chance with him? What if he broke your heart all over again?

“Aein,” he questions, voice slightly weaker.

“I’m just asking for a,”

“No,” you say and close your eyes tight. He’s taken aback.

“Wh-what?”

“Ji, I can’t, I can’t do it. I can’t give you that piece of me when you’ve all ready hurt the one you’ve had,” you voice is cracking but it’s the truth.

“I’m not the only one who’s done wrong here,” he tries to deflect.

“But you’re the one asking for more,” you say looking into his eyes, filled with sadness and despair.

“I swear I’ll make it right, I’m just asking for a chance to do that,” his own tears are in his eyes, and one slips over the edge and falls down his face.

“I know what you’re asking, but you don’t.” you sigh and turn to leave again.

“Then tell me,” he puts his hand on your shoulder and you freeze.

“You’re asking me to not only trust you, something I can’t do right now, but to let you in to an even more intimate place than I all ready have. Ji, this whole thing is so messed up. I mean, how the hell did we even get here?”

“Baby, please,” he can’t help himself. He falls to the ground in front of you. He wraps his arms around your torso.

“Just one chance, that’s all I’m asking.” He’s on his knees looking up at you. He wants to do right by you, to love you the right way, but you aren’t sure he knows how. Not without getting something in return. You pull him up off the floor and give him a soft kiss.

He tries to deepen it but before he can you pull away. He looks like a wounded animal, the pain and regret evident on his face.

“I need some time,” you utter, “to think about all of this.” You walk out of the room, it feels like you’re walking out of his life, and return to your work in the small studio.

Neither of you speak the rest of the day. You find yourself fighting an internal battle. You love him, you want to be with him, but he hurt you, used you for his own selfish needs. Granted you used him too, whether you liked to admit it or not.

You could hear him messing around with some music stuff that night while you were in your room. Different sounds coming from his in-home recording studio. Curiosity got the better of you and you couldn’t help but sneak into the door way. He’s so lost in the music he doesn’t seem to hear you walk up. You lean against the doorframe and watch him.

Ji-yong sits there, he can feel your eyes on him, but he doesn’t turn around. He can’t show you his puffy eyes, the way he’s been overthinking this whole thing, or the fear on his face that he’s lost you completely. He writes some lyrics down on a sheet and he gives it a few minutes, trying to see if you’ll walk away. He can’t help the sniffle that he lets out and silently curses himself.

You hear it, that tiny sound that lets you know he’s been crying. So had you most of the day, and while it didn’t make complete sense, you wanted him. You slowly stalk into the studio and slink your arms down his chest from behind him.

He freezes at your initial touch and his eyes close momentarily. He sits back in his chair for a moment, enjoying the feeling of your hands on his body again.

“We’ve both had a long day,” you say seductively in his ear. He nods his head and bites his bottom lip.

“Come on,” you whisper. You kiss the top of his head, a sweet and innocent gesture.

He stands up, almost zombie like and that’s when you see his eyes. Your heart hurts for him, despite how he hurt you. You pull him to you by the waist band of his pants and kiss him deeply. Everything you want to say and don’t know how to say is put into the kiss.

“Fuck, I missed you,” you breathe against his lips, “I want you,” you feel him stiffen under your touch and you pull away looking at him curiously.

“Ji,” you put your hand to his cheek and he, oddly, turns his face from it.

“Aein,” you say shocked, even when he was mad at you or upset he didn’t refuse your touch.

“I can’t have just this part of you,” he says and walks past you out of the room.

“What are you talking about?” You call after him as you follow on his heels down the winding hallway. He stops abruptly and he knows this is the rest of what can be said. It’s now or never.

“I’m in love with you, and I can’t just have you this way anymore,” he doesn’t look at you, just barely over his shoulder.

“It’s too fucking painful. This whole thing, its too fucking painful. I won’t stop you if you want to leave, but if you stay, we can’t keep this up. I physically can’t do it anymore, y/n,” you stand there shocked.

“Love? He loves me?” you think to yourself.

“What if I love you too?” you call as he’s about to go back to his room. He freezes with his hand on the knob. He doesn’t look at you.

“What if I’m terrified because of what we’ve been through all ready,” you ask. He stares at the floor.

“What if I’ve loved you for a long time and, and when we were together it wasn’t casual. What if,” you pause and you know this is the point of no return, “What if I’m afraid to let you in because of all of this? Because you hurting me is something I don’t know how to heal from and if it’s all ready happened this way, us really being together,” he walks up to you and cups your tear-stained face with his warm soft hands.

“At least let me try to make it right.”

“If I lose you, I can’t come back from that,” you sob. Your body starts shaking and he pulls you close, letting your head hit his chest. His arms are around your head and torso.

“Do you love me,” he asks quietly. You sniffle and close your eyes, as if not seeing him makes it any easier.

“With my whole heart,” you croak. He kisses the crown of your head.

“Look at me,” he mumbles against your hair. You look up at him and he’s offering you a small smile.

“Baby we can do this, you just have to let me in,” he rests his forehead on yours. You sigh.

“I’m broken,” you whimper out.

“Me too,” he sighs.

“But we can heal together if you’ll let us. If you’ll give us a fighting chance. I told you; I’ll make this right.”

“What if we fail, what if I lose you,” you sniffle again and look to him for answers.

“What if we succeed? What if we get married have 10 kids and,”

“I’m not putting my body through 10 kids, Ji,” you interrupt playfully but also seriously. He smiles at you and the mood lightens some.

“Then let’s start with this,” he rubs your cheeks with the pad of his thumb.

“What if we are the best person for each other? Y/n there isn’t much about you I don’t all ready know, broken pieces and all. I want all of it. The healed parts, the jagged pieces, if I’m going to fight for anyone, anything, Jagiya, it’s going to be us. Because I know we can make it. I just know we can,” his voce is confident, reassuring, and he pleads a good case.

He does know everything about you, the parts you don’t tell anyone else, the ugly secrets you hide from others, that time you went to band camp and your pants fell down in front of everyone. He knows it all.

You sigh and nod your head, “Let’s give it a shot,” you smile up at him and he kisses you passionately; you moan into it softly. Your arms snake around his neck and you gently tug at the hair at the nape of his neck.

He smiles into the kiss.

“You have an early morning; you should get some sleep.” He says against your lips. You whine quietly, “Then at least come cuddle me until I’m asleep.” You pull away from each other and you both walk into your room. Slipping under the covers you feel him pull you into him.

“I’m really excited to see you unveil your next piece. I’m so proud of you,” he whispers lovingly into your ear.

“Well, I have to be at the art gallery in the morning around 8,”

“I’ll make sure you get there personally.” You stiffen at his words slightly.

“What’s wrong,” his voice is unsteady.

“What about the public? I mean, do we want to give this a trail run before we tell people.”

“Nothing would make me happier than to scream from the roof top of the highest building in the city that you’re my girl,” he kisses the back of your neck.

“But if you want to wait, we can do that too.” You grin and scoot back a little more into him.

“I just, I want to keep this between us for a bit. Let it be ours before it’s everyone else’s to scrutinize and judge. I want us to be solid with each other first,” you try to explain.

“Then that’s what we’ll do. But I can still come tomorrow, right?” he quirks a brow.

“Yes,” you giggle, “Just not as my boyfriend.” He groans.

“Ji, it’s just when we’re out in public.” He moves his lips to your ear.

“And it was hard not to kiss you in public before all this,” you blush at his words and turn over to face him.

“I promise, as soon as everything is over, you can kiss me as much as you want.”

“I’ll take that deal,” he grins and gives you a soft kiss before you tuck your head under his chin and fall asleep.

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[steddieas-shegoes]

aw, man. 😔 but i get it! being busy with other stuff and all. if you don't mind, i'll leave two silly plot bunnies here? because idk where else to leave them and maybe some of your followers could use them? idk?

meet-cute with Eddie falling asleep on Steve's shoulder on the subway. they don't know each other and maybe a pic or a tiktok video of this moment goes viral, idk. something about the funny contrast of a guy in all black, chains and 80's rock aesthetics sleeping on a guy that looks like a kindergarten teacher/business man/jock-sports bro. after that they keep seeing each other on the subway and romance blossoms from there.

and stunt man!Steve being Eddie's stunt actor for a comedy movie (or just a funny music video) where the point is for the stunt actor to be nothing alike the person they're stunting for, like something totally silly and unserious, just Steve in a wig that resembles Eddie's hair doing the action coreography and he never had laughed so much or had so much fun on a set filming something before, and romance also blossoming from there between Steve and Eddie. lol

thank you and sorry for bothering you with unsolicited plot bunnies lol.

It is NEVER a bother to receive messages, especially plot bunnies!!! And these are so!!!

The first one is making me wanna cry I’m not even kidding you I’m so emotional about these two meeting like this

The second one has so much potential to be such a fun, silly time. Somebody please write this silly and fun thing!!! It’s honestly so funny picturing muscular/normal guy Steve wearing a shitty wig and a leather jacket that doesn’t fit and doing a backflip through flames while Eddie is literally seen standing in the background on camera PLEASE

[cynicalmusings]

i’m kind of tempted to write a series of little anecdotes of socrates!reader interacting with each amphoreus cast member and just… either winding them up or confusing the hell out of them until the characters give up and leave the conversation.

mydei is the easiest to frustrate, and about three minutes into the discussion, he’s just like “i don’t care about this. go away before i want to punch you,” and goes off.

phainon is initially willing to have a discussion—it couldn’t hurt that much, right?—before regretting it severely. to do him justice, he fares relatively well, but after ten to fifteen minutes he has to leave (1) he has no idea what’s going on anymore and (2) he feels a crushing existential crisis coming on which he would rather suffer through in privacy (which is to say he breaks down from existential dread the moment he leaves your line of sight).

tribbie doesn’t get angry, but they’re another one who gets a touch confused. they get both the others in on it, too, and by the end you’ve got the whole group being like “…we’re sorry, we don’t think we can do this anymore” and flying off. they’re pretty polite and honest about what they don’t understand, though, which you appreciate.

castorice, having studied at the grove, has some background in this kind of thing, and she keeps up with the debate pretty well. when she doesn’t understand something, she’ll be open about it and ask you to clarify, making for a good conversation partner. she also strikes me as a pretty patient type, so she won’t lose her temper or anything while you get very particular in your arguments, either. i feel like the main reason she would call off the discussion is because she needs more time to think about how to respond to something you’ve said (and the constant interchange has probably tired her out a little, too).

hyacine is pretty honest from the get-go that philosophy isn’t an area she has much direct experience with, but because she’s nice and doesn’t want to let you down, she’s happy to go along with it. she gets a little emotion when you question her about why life is meaningful and whether it’s really worth inconveniencing oneself to help another (which isn’t to necessarily say you hold these views yourself; your main objective is to gauge her position and how she responds to such a challenge) — and soon tells you that she feels like she can’t do this anymore and needs a moment to herself.

aglaea would be really difficult to befuddle, frustrate, or get any major reaction from. she’s very calculated with her responses, good at keeping a level head, and doesn’t reveal her emotional position. the only way you could get under her skin, if you so wished to play devil’s advocate, is by challenging her about the value of okhema and its citizens. even then, she’d barely crack, but if you’re looking closely, you might be able to tell she’s

finally, debates with anaxa are… literally nothing new. you’ve been bugging him with constant questions for years, and he’s used to it by now (to be honest, he probably ought to thank you for it — you kind of act as his argument-checker to see if he’s overlooked any problems or made any assumptions with any claim he makes). he might pretend to be a little annoyed, but really, he enjoys your intellectual matches. the only ways you could wind him up is (1) committing a fallacy in your argument on purpose/ acting with intellectual dishonesty, which you would just… never do, or (2) saying something (probably negative) about yourself, which… also would never really come up in a discussion, because you’re interested in knowing stuff, not talking about yourself.

(he’s also definitely tried to convince you to take part in the annual great debate on multiple occasions, but you refuse every time. to be fair, every day is a ‘great debate’ for you and whichever unfortunate soul you run into that day… so it’s understandable why you don’t need to join some tournament to get, what, some public affirmation of your debating skill? who needs that? does it get you closer to uncovering knowledge about the world? no? well, you’re just not interested, then.)