#I’m simply curious but I know which one is gonna win based on my following base

[therealvinelle]

Hi, I was reading a post here in Tumblr about how Edward has two gifts, he can hear thoughts and is super fast, so I wonder what is your opinion about this topic?.

Furthermore, what others power might the Volturi's leaders and guards might have?

Edward has one gift, and it’s telepathy. Being fast isn’t a gift.

Strength, speed and even senses is varied among vampires. Some, like Emmett, are on the extreme end, but that doesn’t make Emmett gifted, nor does it mean that the rest are at an equal level. The Cullens have clear variations between them.

Physique appears to play a dominant role in how these variations play out: Alice, who was malnourished and never made it past 4′10″, is the physically weakest of the coven, while Emmett at 6′5″ and a mountain of muscles is the strongest. This is made very clear during the baseball game:

“Emmett was hovering close to third (base), knowing that Alice didn’t have the muscle to outstrip Rosalie’s fielding." (Midnight Sun, chapter The Game)

There’s also the fact that it’s taken for granted that Emmett would be intimidating to other vampires, and he is dismayed when James is more worried about Jasper, who is lean.

I suspect this disparity exists simply because a large frame means more tissue to have blood in. Newborns, animal, and human-eating vampires all having a difference in terms of strength is proof that blood has the final say in a vampire’s prowess, so Emmett being able to contain more of it than Alice and therefore being stronger makes sense to me.

This isn’t the meta for me to get into that, but I don’t think vampires have muscles in the sense we do. Or rather, we can’t know that they do. Renesmée is proof that Edward retains his human DNA, or she would be a clone of Bella. Nahuel is proof that Joham retains a Y-chromosome. Does this mean that vampires have different cell types? Does a vampire’s stone-like skin still contain human DNA? One would think yes - except, if you rip a vampire apart, you get rubble. The parts are all solid. There’s also Carlisle theorizing that vampires digest blood by absorbing it through porous tissue, which makes me wonder why he dismissed his digestive system (my guess: vivisection fun times with Aro in Volterra. Carlisle couldn’t have done it on his own, and Aro is the only one mad and curious enough to be down for that). I’m getting off-topic - what I’m saying is, we don’t know how vampires work, meaning I can’t build this meta off of the assumption that they have muscles. I simply can’t know for sure that they do.

The important thing is that a vampire’s physique is a deciding factor in how strong they are.

There’s also Laurent’s warning about James, that he has “unparalleled senses”, meaning some vampires are better at sight, hearing, and smell than others. I can believe that, because we have canon examples of vampires being bad at tracking.

There’s Edward in Port Angeles, who couldn’t track Bella’s, his singer, scent to her location, and (I admit this one is conjecture but it’s so probable that I say it goes) Carlisle’s creator, who after taking care of the mob must have realized he’d bitten one of the humans, meaning a newborn would soon be loose in London. This is punishable by death by the Volturi. The fact that he didn’t return to finish Carlisle off means that he was unable to find him. I remind the audience that Carlisle was bleeding and suffering the effects by a venom intended to paralyze the victim. To put it this way, Carlisle wouldn’t have survived James, or anybody with a trace of tracking competence. By comparison, Carlisle was able to locate a dying Rosalie by the smell of her blood, even though there wouldn’t have been a trail for him to follow, as her body had not been moved.

When it comes to these disparities in strength and speed among the Volturi, I imagine Jane and Alec are the physically weakest members of the guard, and among the slowest. They’re prepubescent, meaning no muscle for them, and their height (a humble 4′8″ and 4′10″) implies very short legs. They’re simply not going to get as far as an adult would, not in the same number of steps. Renata at 5′0″ is another tiny vampire lady who likely isn’t very strong or fast.

That’s not to say I think these physically weaker members of the Volturi guard are necessarily useless in hand-to-hand combat, Alec at least is a boy stuck in a playful age, and the males around him are trained warriors. He’s probably picked up a few things over the years.

As for the others, Aro is described as frail-looking, which hints at him being quite thin. I don’t think he’s weak, if he couldn’t win a fight he wouldn’t be around, but I do think he’s probably below average in terms of strength. Caius I picture as a Harrison Ford type, so of course I’m gonna think he’s a bit burly, but this is me headcanoning and not actually hinted at in canon. Marcus is 19, so I imagine he can only be so strong.

Back to Edward’s speed.

He’s a 6′2″ teen, that’s code for “very long legs”, though I’m actually going to go ahead and posit that he’s not actually that fast. Strap in for this next part:

The guy was a teenager who lay dying for an undisclosed amount of time. The fact that Carlisle had the time to get to know his mother points to a few weeks, at least. And Edward was very ill:

Elizabeth worried obsessively over her son. She hurt her own chances of survival trying to nurse him from her sickbed. I expected that he would go first, he was so much worse off than she was. (New Moon, page 21)

Muscles atrophy quickly, never more so than when you’re a teen ravaged by fever, on your deathbed. And as I’ve explained above, I think your physique in life ties directly into your vampiric prowess.

I think Edward is certainly the physically weakest of the male Cullens, quite likely weaker than Rosalie as well, maybe even Esme.

Now, speed is not the same as strength. However, for humans, the two are connected. It’s the muscle fibers in our legs that determine our speed. Basically, type I fibers make an enduring runner, type II fibers make a speed runner. So, assuming that vampires retain their human musculature, one could argue that Edward had a lot of type II in life. However, Carlisle when he was human was able to outrun the mob he was with:

He ran through the streets, and Carlisle — he was twenty-three and very fast — was in the lead of the pursuit. (Twilight, page 158)

Carlisle clearly had a lot of type II fibers, and unlike Edward he was in peak physical condition when he died. He was also an adult who’d had more time to develop musculature, while Edward was a seventeen-year-old. If musculature was a deciding factor, one would think they would at the very least be of equal speed, though realistically Edward should be slower.

So, if it’s not muscles, what is it that makes Edward faster than the others?

It could be a matter of technique. Except, the way Bella describes movement when she wakes up as a vampire, it’s all very automated. Her body knows exactly how to do everything, and executes it without much input from her:

After that first frozen second of shock, my body responded to the unfamiliar touch in a way that shocked me even more.

Air hissed up my throat, spitting through my clenched teeth with a low, menacing sound like a swarm of bees. Before the sound was out, my muscles bunched and arched, twisting away from the unknown. I flipped off my back in a spin so fast it should have turned the room into an incomprehensible blur—but it did not. I saw every dust mote, every splinter in the wood-paneled walls, every loose thread in microscopic detail as my eyes whirled past them.

So by the time I found myself crouched against the wall defensively—about a sixteenth of a second later—I already understood what had startled me, and that I had overreacted. (Breaking Dawn, page 251-252)

Growling, crouching - those are all distinctly vampiric, non-human ways to act. Bella didn’t learn this, her body knew it of its own accord. When she later runs, she explains it as happening the same way - she just does it.

The way Bella experiences it, vampiric movement is like a package she downloaded, and that executes her instinctual commands with no need for her to actually know how to do any of this. Her grace is another example of this - Bella Swan may be in charge of her own consciousness, but the venom is entirely in control of her body.

Given these facts, I don’t think it’s technique that makes Edward a better runner than others. His technique is likely similar to everyone else’s. If it isn’t, if technique is what makes the difference, then who is and isn’t fast is an arbitrary process.

With that, we get to my controversial theory about why Edward is the fastest Cullen: he’s not.

Running and being fast is the only thing about vampirism that Edward enjoys. This is for another meta, but Edward is extremely depressed about every single other bit of it. Every aspect of being a vampire torments him.

Except the running. He enjoys all of it, especially being the fastest, so much. And as a newborn, he would have been faster than Carlisle.

But after that, when his newborn strength faded…

I honestly think that Carlisle decided to just slow down a bit when running with him, let Edward have this. It’s no skin of his back, and it makes Edward happy, so why not.

Esme joins the family, and of course she would be down for this. Nothing is more parental, more maternal, than losing at checkers to make your child happy, after all. Could also be she’s not very fast herself, but even if she were then she would downplay it to make Edward feel like Jesse Owens.

Enter Rosalie, who would think it’s completely ridiculous, yes, but she would also recognize this excellent opportunity to call in a big favor from Carlisle later on. There’s also the fact that I think Carlisle has a gift (yes, yes, meta is coming, people) that makes him very persuasive people. And also that for all that Rose gets a lot of bad rep, she is very generous and loves her family, if being fast makes Edward happy then alright.

Emmett is an easy-going guy, he goes along with things. Alice adores Edward and would go along with it. She also has tiny matchstick legs and couldn’t outrun him if she tried. Jasper could not care less.

Bella does get outrun by Edward after waking up, but she also did zero exercise in life (listing this in case musculature matter), had Renesmée devour her from within rendering her emaciated, and then died like a slasher movie murder victim. There’s not a lot of blood in her, and what little blood there is doesn’t have a lot to work with. She does defeat Emmett at arm wrestling, so I’ll concede that. However, there are enough extenuating circumstances surrounding Bella that I think my “Edward isn’t that fast” theory survives his ability to outrun her.

So, I believe Edward is the fast Cullen because Carlisle told a white lie in 1919, no one ever corrected that, and now it’s too late.

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: August 8th

Well, doing big posts all together worked for a while but lately I’ve been putting it off because it takes a long time to get them done. I think I’m gonna try switching back to answering asks whenever I can fit it in and posting them one at a time instead of waiting until I’ve filled out one of these major collections.

But for now, here’s more ask answers! Thank you for the questions and for all the kind words along with them ^^.

Hello!! I'm here to ask if its possible to get  the game and its dlcs on steam and play it on android?

I’m afraid not. Steam doesn’t have Android builds on their own site and Steam is not cool with keys for other sites being given out for Steam purchases, so you don’t get the Itch version from buying on Steam.

Hello! Sorry to bother you but, I had a question, if we buy the Game on itchio do we get steam keys or would we need to purchase it twice? 

You would have to buy it twice if you want it in both places, I’m sorry. To repeat myself a little, Steam doesn’t like the key trading thing. Itch may support giving keys for another site, but the reverse isn’t doable with Steam and Steam doesn’t even really want you to get a Steam key for buying somewhere else either. So we just don’t mess around with that.

hey, sorry if this is frequently asked, but is step 4 free dlc or paid for? some of your sources are contradicting each other. 

It’s free! There’s a paid wedding DLC, but Step 4 itself is entirely unpaid.

Hello! I just had a quick question, for the Baxter and Derek DLC's will we be able to confess our feelings to them or let them confess to MC? or will it only be one way? (they confess to MC)

Both type of options will be available!

Hey there! I wanted to ask whether or not the Derek DLC is still on track to be released in August since on the steam discussion board it says it will be released mid 2021. I totally understand if it isn't, I'm just really looking forward to it! If you answer then ty! And keep up the amazing work :D 

It’s not, aha. Unfortunately, 2021 wasn’t easier than 2020 as we hoped so things are still slower than planned. It’ll come out late 2021 or early 2022.

Hi! Firstly I just want to say that I LOVE Our Life. I have played a bit of similar games but this one instantly wins for the best one! Everything about it is amazing! I just wanted to ask if Derek would ever lose feelings for MC, like if they make the deal and then MC gets with Cove would he move on? and even if you don't, after "losing contact" would his feeling fade or would he still like MC? 

If you don’t really keep in touch with him and clearly move on with your life, Derek will too and he’ll be over it. But if you are still close as best as you can be, he’ll still think the MC is special. Though, he’ll always support your relationship with someone else if that’s what’ll make you happy.

Hello! Sorry if you've answered this before but: 'How's Lee related to us? Though which momma? And does she share our player-chosen last names? Also, do you know if Noelani took Pam's last name or did it happen the other way round? 

She’s related to Pamela and Pamela’s last name is the one they use, so the MC has the same last name as Lee.

Will we be able to choose which (they or he) we tend to call Qiu by more often, or will it randomly change depending on the moment? 

Qiu knows which pronoun they’re comfortable with at a time and you’ll call them what they’re happy with. And it doesn’t change between lines, it takes multiple scenes or even full Steps for it to switch. So for extended periods Qiu will be totally a guy or fully agender.

Will Step 4 of OL2 have moments?

It’ll be an epilogue like it is in OL1, so it won’t have a bunch of different Moments.

Hello! Just a quick question, is Sunset bird from OL1 based on a real location? If so what's it called? I wanna visit it +_+

ps i love your games so much <3

It isn’t based on one specific town you can go to, but there are a lot of little coastal towns in Cali that have a similar vibe!

Heyaaa ( I hope you're all well ), umm… it might seem kinda stupid to ask but did Patreon members can have a key for the dlc's ( all the steps-released dlc ) even if they became a member this month or later ? (me? saying this cuz it's my case? maybe ;-;), and once again thanks for absolutely all the amazing works on all the games ! u-u 

You wouldn’t get the DLCs for backing there. The Patreon is for extra bonus content/early access, rather than being a storefront to purchase the normal DLCs. Rarely we give them out as a side gift, but it hardly happens and if what you want is the DLCs it’s best to ignore the Patreon and  buy keys for those directly from Itch or Steam. I’m sorry for the confusion.

Hey y'all, love what youre doing w/Terry. Trans rep outside of player customization is so rare and important to see more of so thank you so much. I do have a question and its that does he have a canon sexuality? I know Miranda was said to be straight ace but I dont believe anything was stated for Terry probably because he wasnt revealed to be a guy which changes things. Im also curious if well get answers on how long hes liked Miranda since he may have liked her in step 3 before she liked him 

Terry likes women and Randy likes men! And he did like Miranda back in Step 3.

Will the Wedding Dlc release at the same time as Step 4? 

They’ll come out separately with Step 4 releasing first.

I really love Our Life so much! I've spent over 20hours playing it even though I only got it a week ago! I was wondering if I could make a fangame for Our Life with a different love interest but same plot. Next-door neighbors romance, multiple steps, etc? I'll probably make it on Google Slides though- 

Sure! I hope you have fun with it and I’m glad you love the game.

How does Cove feel about poly relationships? 

He’s got nothing against them for the people they work for, but he’s 100% monogamous and would only be comfortable with a partner who was willing to be monogamous with him.

Idk if this has been answered before but will Step 4 include the option to advance your feelings towards Cove? 

Yep, you’ll be able to determine your feelings and what your relationship is.

In step 4 will there be a chosen to say we live with Cove even as just friends? 

Yeah, you can choose to live with Cove and that can be done when you’re friends.

I just played the game with the MC and Cove being best friends and omg it’s still so damn cute like the wholesomeness of it all is too much for my heart I swear ^.^  Now with that all said I was wondering can we still marry Cove? if we only love him as a friend like let’s say we’ve made deal with him similar to the one we can make with Derek because let’s real no one could compete with what the MC and Cove have even if they aren’t in love. 

It’s great to hear you enjoyed the friendship story! You can live with Cove, but you can’t marry him platonically. Cove has familial affection for the MC if they’re best-est friends. He wouldn’t think to marry someone he loves like family and even grew up with as though they truly were siblings.

Are you still going to be making a DLC for XOBD? :] 

Yes! We’re slowing adding voiced lines and fixing errors.

It makes me laugh that Shiloh's last name is Fields because that's what I put as my last name! So in Our Life when he talked about "Ms. Fields" picking him up I was extremely confused, lol. That dude mimics personalities so much that he stole my surname!

Oh, wow, that’s a very funny coincidence, haha.

hi !! i cant seem to be able to get the scene where mc is able to propose to cove despite being at the 'love' stage and telling him i'd want to get married, are there any other details that im missing out on? the options just dont appear at the end... 

Maybe you missed telling Cove you were in love with him even if you mentioned wanting to get married or you might’ve accidentally said earlier in the game that you don’t want to progress your relationship further with Cove. We haven’t removed them, so you can get the scene again. It’s just kind of easy to miss since there’s multiple requirements. You can read a little guide in the FAQ.

wait what di you need to do to be able to propose to cove? I've been trying but haven't had much luck 

You can check out the FAQ linked above!

does cove only develop a crush on the mc if the mc is also at crush/in love with him? 

Technically, yes. We treat the non-romantic relationship options as truly non-romantic since we don’t want to bait and switch people. But there’s nothing wrong with headcanoning that Cove does have feelings developing for the MC even before the MC has.

Is there a way to make/allow Lee and Baxter to date?

No, they just don’t have enough time together.

We also got a group of asks related to Tamarack in OL2, but I’m afraid the way they talked about people with larger bodies made me not want to post their words, even if the person didn’t say they’re trying to be hurtful. I will separate out the core question and answer it though, so people can know that info.

Does Tamarack lose weight in later Steps?

No, she doesn’t. As for the other questions included, to be honest, I don’t have to explain/defend having romance options of different sizes. I’m sorry if you’re dealing with unhappiness that’s connected to body image, if that’s where the negative emotions are coming from, but even so I can’t meet you on that level and pretend it’s a problem that needs an answer. A girl who simply isn’t thin being a main love interest is just not an unreasonable concept. Also, Tamarack isn’t a lesbian. Yes, she can date a female MC, but that doesn’t undo her actual sexuality, so I’m not sure where that one part at the end was coming from.

I wonder... can we "fight" with Qiu over leader status? 👀

Not really, haha. No matter how cool your MC is, they’re never gonna replace Qiu for the other kids around. So you can either partner up with him, follow him too, or not be a part of all that group politics stuff.

So when I play the game, sometimes I mentally call Cove “Covie/Covey” and that made me wonder, how does Cove feel about being nicknamed? Not like Romeo/Space Cadet/etc. but like pet names relating to his actual name

It’d depend on his age, personality, and your relationship with him! When he’s younger he’d probably be embarrassed, when he was grown he’d probably be more casual or happy about it.

will you be able to date baxter in step 3 while at crush with cove (but not dating him ofc) sorry if this has been asked already. i really love baxters step 4 design btw!! 

Yeah, you can be crushing on Cove and date Baxter if you weren’t already dating Cove. You just can’t be truly in love with Cove and then switch to Baxter.

I just got my friend into our life, and they adore shiloh and derek sooo will there be more of them in the second game? 

I’m afraid not. But you can see plenty more of Shiloh in XOXO Droplets/XOXO Blood Droplets, haha.

I see you haven't gotten any xoxo droplets asks recently but I'm still obsessed with these boys!! I was just wondering if Nate would curse under any circumstance? 

Yeah, Nate does use certain swear words (damn, hell, bastard) on very rare occasions.

Hi there! I have a question about the wedding dlc. Will we be able to plan a honeymoon during the planning stages of it or would it be something that Cove and the mc would rather plan later on? Thank you! Absolutly love the game by the way, definitely one of my favorite games! 

The focus will be on the wedding day itself. The topic of the honeymoon might come up a bit, but there won’t be any choosing of the exact location and such.

Hi! I have two questions and it's completely understandable if you only answer one/neither and I'm sorry if you've already answered either before! First, is there a set year in which OL:B&A takes place (ex: Step 1 being set in 2010 & Step 2 being set in 2016, etc.) or is it simply up to interpretation? Second, have you guys thought about doing a coming-of-age game where the MC has a tough home life or upbringing? (like one of their parents is an addict, a parent being transphobic whilst the player has the option to be trans, or having friends that are influencing them to do drugs, etc.) That's all! Thanks for making beautiful games. <3 

There is a set timeline!

Step 1: 2006 Step 2: 2011 Step 3: 2016 Step 4: 2021 

And we don’t currently plan on making a game like that. The Our Life series exists to be a safer environment for people to play around in and if we did do a brand new series that was harsher edged it’d be something more fantastical and/or plot-driven instead of a different type of modern day slice-of-life growing up story. I’m sorry.

i don’t know if you’ve already answered this, but do you have a guess on when phase 4 will come out? as well as ol2? i’m so excited for both of them, the inclusivity in this game is amazing, you guys should be really proud of it! 

Step 4 will be coming out very soon! OL2 is gonna take until 2023 to be anywhere near completion. But we might episodically release the Steps one at a time as they get done instead of waiting for three to be finished before launch like we did with the first game.

Hello, I was curious if there was an official or unofficial discord server for the game? 

We do have a discord! You can join by clicking this link HERE.

how long do you plan to keep ol's patreon running? 

Hopefully for at least a few more years.

Are you considering ever making merch? 

Yeah, but I don’t know when it’ll happen or what exactly we’ll make, aha. It’s something we want do, just nothing is set.

hi! i just found out about your game a couple of days ago on tiktok (so sorry if you’ve already answered this question) and i was wondering if y’all are ever planning to release it on iOS? 

I have no idea. It’s hard for a small group to get Apple approval and I honestly can’t say if it’ll ever happen or not. Maybe someday, though!

Hi, I love the art style of Our life and I would like to know if the artist has a Twitter? Also, could it be possible to fund more CGs for the game from him/her? So many times, I wish there was one like when the cutscene of the sunshower. 

That’s nice of you to offer. He doesn’t have a Twitter, at least not one that’s public enough to be shared with me. And I’m afraid not. The issue is that the CGs take huge amounts of time rather than there not being a budget for it. He’s gotta make CGs for Step 4, the DLCs, and new character sprites, too. There isn’t space in the schedule for even more. Sorry for that.

Hi, how are you?!

Are you planning on accepting new writers or is it always the same people who write your stories??

Thanks!!

Our Life: Beginnings & Always won’t be getting new writers, but we will be hiring a new team of writers for Our Life: Now & Forever eventually!

perhaps this counts as nsfw and I'm sure it has been answered before but what does Cove prefer, chests/boobs or butts? or perhaps both :3c thank you for this wonderful game (and the patreon bonus moment, it was worth all the waiting and more ♥) 

He’s a “chests of all shapes and sizes” kind of guy, haha.

i was wondering- did any of the writers actually grow up by the beach? as someone who's lived in a beach town all their life it really did feel nostalgic to play through our life 1 

I was born and raised in Cali! Though, not right by the beach. We still had to make trips out, but the setting is based on my own childhood memories of small beach towns we went through.

In Derek’s upcoming DLC, will we be able to reference the pact we made as teens? (love olba and xod/xobd so much btw you’re literally amazing) 

Yep, you will be able to talk about that!

Oh, sorry about the Cole being secretly L ask, then!

If you wanted context: Death Note is about this one guy who finds a notebook that kills anyone who you write the name of in there. The guy eventually develops a God Complex and starts mass killing criminals and stuff. L is the one trying to find out who is killing all these people.

Me and my sister first joked about it because I couldn't remember how to translate a word about the way Cove was sitting, so I just did the pose, and it looked a lot like how L himself sits! Then we just snowballed from there, with more and more nonsense connections.

That’s okay! Thanks for explaining. I’m sorry I didn’t know what you meant.

[anika-ann]

Attached: Hurtful Words Pt.3

Type: (mini)-series,  Modern-college-professor AU… aka the wrong attachment AU ;)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader   Word count: 6420 + 280 (you’ll see)

Summary:  Graduation day, yay! Says no one, ever.

Except for Penny, who practically drags you to enjoy one of the most important days of your lives. You go along, just because. Hell, who knows - maybe you’ll like it in the end.

A/N: Attached: Hurtful Words is an addition that loosely followes the Attached series. You don’t necessarily need to read the mini-series as a whole, but you will understand much better.

Warnings: mentions of name calling and humiliation,swearing, some angst and lots of talking and maybe... ;)

Story masterlist

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

You had been through several phases of dealing with what happened and they came and went and came and went, one blending into another, other times changing so sharply and quickly as if you flipped a metaphorical switch.

But what stayed for the majority of the time was that you simply had no idea what should you do.

One moment, you were certain that this was a sign from above telling you to break things off with Steve, because no matter the beautiful moments you had shared, continuing the relationship was an epitome of asking for more trouble and even though you had never met a guy so close to your dream man, you wondered if it was worth it.

The next minute, you mentally yelled at yourself and called yourself a dumb ungrateful bitch, convinced that this was in fact a trial, an ordeal by fire; a test you had to pass so your relationship came out stronger from it. Your faith was rock-solid that Steve was it, because after all, he was the closest guy to your dream man that you had ever met.

Your emotions were bubbling, the order of stages of grief all messed up, a mixture of self-pity, anger, resignation, denial---shame.

And shame seemed to be a theme that stuck, because the longer you were stalling and leaving Steve’s kind supportive and pleading messages without reply, the worse you felt, ashamed to reach out now, after such a long and pointed silence. Because Steve hadn’t relented, keeping in touch and very obviously staying convinced that you two could push through; the stark contrast of your doubts and his unshakable belief was breaking both your heart and mind.

How did you even deserve him? He stood by your side, at least as much as he could… while his name was in the poem too and he was probably dealing with so much shit right now and yet he didn’t cease reaching out while you left him in a lurch and really, you must have been the worst girlfriend ever.

If you even still were a girlfriend… though Steve appeared to still consider you one and it was making you want to tear your hair out, frustrated with your own stupid overthinking ass.

Penny, bless her, was there the whole time, loyal by your side instead of drinking herself into oblivion in a celebration of her bachelor degree. She was there as well when you received a text yesterday morning, followed by longer-than-usual silence.

I know this has little chance of reaching you, but know this: say the word and I will leave you alone to the point of not going to the ceremony at all despite my presence being formally half-required. Or I’ll be there and stay away. Anything you want, anything that helps you to enjoy your special day. You deserve to celebrate such a great success and I’d hate to be the reason for you to miss out on a memory that will last a lifetime. You deserve the world, sweetheart; and if you don’t want to me to be the one who gives it to you, I’ll have to accept it. Congratulation.

The text had to be split into three separate units, but the message was clear and you had a good thorough cry at it, your shaky conviction growing firmer and earning a solid base.

He had hit a nail on the head – you had been considering not going and then definitely going and then not again, back and forth for various reasons, but mostly because of him; too excited, too hopeful and too scared to meet him.

And to think you had been once afraid of facing him after you suspected that he had read your smutty story about him… this was so much more terrifying than that and now you were biting on your lips, slightly redder due to the lipstick you had applied for the ceremony, and you glanced up to meet Penny’s narrowed eyes in the mirror.

“Don’t you bail out on me now. You promised yesterday that you’d go,” she reminded you, half-concerned, half-strict.

You sighed, knowing fully that she spoke the truth.

“I know. It’s just…”

It’s just that I haven’t replied to Steve, AGAIN, and I don’t know if he’s gonna be there. And what I am going to do if he is.

And what I’m going to do if he isn’t.

Penny charmed a supportive grin, walking to you and putting her hand on your shoulder, squeezing it in comfort until you managed to swallow your nerves for a brief second and return the smile weakly.

She squealed and pulled you to her side, a happy twinkle in her chocolate-coloured eyes.

“We did it, girl! We fucking made it to the end of bachelor studies! And we’re gonna enjoy every moment of that mummery that comes with it!”

You couldn’t but snort, amused at her exclaim, while tears burned in your eyes, a mixture of nerves, grief and happiness.

“Yeah. I guess we should.”

“That’s my girl!”

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

For all you wanted to enjoy this day with your friend since your family wouldn’t be able to make it, the first thing your eyes searched for in the crowd getting ready for the ceremony was a broad figure with blond hair, a beard and the most beautiful eyes you couldn’t but fall in love with.

Your stomach, tight from nerves and anticipation, dropped to your feet and you had to focus on keeping the tears at bay.

Steve wasn’t here.

The professors were always seated together, expected to hang out in a group – which somehow provided them safety from both students in the gowns and the few individuals who didn’t understand the dress code and arrived in jeans and sweatshirts – and you couldn’t see Steve among them. You even caught a sight of Bucky; and if Steve wasn’t with him, well, then it was clear that he decided to stay home.

Home. You had felt at home with him too, but that was over now.

What did you expect though? You ignored him for almost a week and even a guy like Steve, so amazing and understanding, would lose his patience with such inconsiderate and downright bratty attitude.

Your heart weighted a ton, heavy in your chest, pounding anxiously at the thought.

Was this how you parted ways? Just… fading away? Two lovers, two people in love – and you had realized over the past few days that Steve must have truly loved you – falling apart for the lack of communication? What a cliché.

But really, how could you have kept your hopes up that he would show up? Because it was sort of expected from the professors? Please. Because he had asked you to let him know if you didn’t want him here… and you hadn’t responded? Again? Right.

Yes, you hadn’t requested that he stayed away – then again, you hadn’t exactly begged him to come either. All that because you let yourself fall into the pit of doubts and allowed them to eat at your soul and ruin your relationship with the best man you had ever met instead of holding onto him for a dear life.

You guessed it served you right, more so now, in this very moment.

Because right now, your resolve and faith that you had been meant to be with Steve felt more solid than ever. By the laws of human nature, by its very essence, you were certain of what you wanted the moment you understood that you lost it.

A tug at your hand snapped you from your gloomy self-depreciating thoughts, your head automatically turning the direction the intrusion came from. Penny’s face came into view and she frowned as she saw you blink away tears.

“Hey! No brooding today! Today is a great win of our lives. You hear me?” she scolded you lightly, her eyes twinkling with true happiness and you gulped, nodding obediently.

“Right. Sorry. You’re right of course.”

“Damn right I am.”

You charmed a pathetic smile for her and looked at the other students in the black gowns to distract yourself from one single thought – Is it a win? Or is it the final prove of my loss?

You desperately tried to believe Pen and forced yourself to focus on the bright side, on what you were supposed to be delighted for; you finished your bachelor studies. Yay!

Yet, despite your best efforts, the ceremony and the speeches from the professors and the officials of your university, all the ‘mummery’ as Penny called it, happened in a strange haze.

Perhaps that was how everyone felt, drunk on euphoria instead? You guessed. You thought you might have smiled at some point, fuelled by a brief moment of true victory.

You stood there among other students, your eyes on the stage where Sharon Carter, a student at the top of your class, walked to the stand to give a speech.

You weren’t exactly friends with Sharon – you talked sometimes, more of a common courtesy exchanged simply because you were classmates. Still, you were mildly curious about what she had to say; she was marked a great student for a reason and she tended to have the ability to catch attention and awake something in others when she talked. An excellent choice for the speech – however, you caught yourself nervously toying with the cap of the case with your diploma, feeling fatigue of the past days catching up with you.

God, you wanted to go back to your whining and misery, not because you revelled in it, but because in the safety of your dorm room, you didn’t have to put up a front of a student excited to graduate. Not that you were any good at the pretence.

“Good morning, everyone. Mr. President, Mr. Dean, Professors… and most importantly, students. For some of us, the journey ends here – we are about to leave the not-so-safe space of the university and try our chances out there, in the open and much more dangerous world,” Carter started, a mild smile on her lips. “That said, it doesn’t mean that our school days were exactly easy.”

“Oh, you had no idea,” you mumbled under your breath, a pang in your ribcage reminding you just how harsh university space could be – not just because of the professors and their impossible tasks.

And they said high-school was the nightmare.

You noticed several people muttering under their breath too, for various reasons. For a brief moment, you felt shame – the pain others had been through could have been even worse, because illness and death had little regard for waiting for when it was more convenient. Who were you to complain?

Then again, you felt like you suffered enough too, your pain just as real as theirs.

Sharon looked around the audience and took a deep breath, her smile turning almost wistful as if she could hear your thoughts.

“While I’m up here, I would like to do something… a bit unconventional. I know this day shouldn’t be dedicated to one person and that is not what I want to do, but I have to speak up. After all, that is what history taught us – that we have to speak up. I want to talk about something everyone who stands here know – sadly, because it was perfectly wide-spread at the university.”

Whispers rose in the crowds along with your pulse skyrocketing.

Fuck. Fuck, she wouldn’t.

Right?! This was something else she was talking about, something you had missed, because you were too busy sulking.

You grabbed Penny’s hand at your side, squeezing harshly and shot her a panicked look, wordlessly pleading her to tell you this was not happening and you were just projecting, imagining this was some nightmare coming to life.

She gave you a side-eye and beckoned her chin to the stage again. Your breathing picked up, your knees feeling weak.

Oh my god, oh fucking shit this was happening.

Why the fuck Sharon wanted to open this can of worms publicly?! Did she hate you?

Granted, you weren’t paying much attention to other people’s faces, but you were hopeful that the mess was slowly dying down and people weren’t necessarily staring at you.

Now, the small circle of people around you who obviously knew where you were, glanced at you pointedly.

Hadn’t your ears been ringing and your panic rising, you might have found it weird that they were smiling at you – and not in a condescending or malicious way.

“Come on. Listen to what she has to say,” Penny whispered to your ear and you eyed her, shocked to find her smiling as well.

A terrible realization hit you like a train.

“Wait, you knew about this?” you hissed angrily, your stomach somersaulting. The actual FUCK?! “You knew she was gonna talk about that? What the hell? Why?!”

Was that why she made you come here?

“Oh honey, you have no idea what was happening these past few days, do you?  Just listen.”

Huh?! What the fuck did Penny meant by-

“I just want to remind to the people feeding bad blood that the girl I’m talking about – a smart young woman who had accepted her diploma today, one of us – she earned her degree. In fact, she probably had to work even harder, because that’s the policy, a sort of a reverse favouritism. The records of her exams are much more detailed and she was under scrutiny, she had to prove that she was nothing the self-proclaimed experts were calling her.”

As outside your body as you felt, in this surreal moment where Sharon Carter talked about your dirty laundry during your damn graduation ceremony, the word ‘whore’ still popped in your mind in angry red letters and chased tears into your eyes, the humiliation you had felt when you first spotted the poem overwhelming you again.

“She had to face every evil glare people sent her way, glares she faced for something as simple as being in love. And just so you know, I have it from a reliable source-“ she pretended to cough while saying Penny’s full name, “-her roommate, that for the long months she’s been with her favourite man, it was in fact Professor Phillips whose name she was whispering in her sleep, because we all know he’s a real hard-ass; my condolences to Professor Rogers.”

Chuckles erupted in the crowd and you felt your lips twitch involuntarily. More and more people were turning to you as their colleagues elbowed their ribs to subtly point in your direction.

You lowered your gaze, embarrassed by so much attention – a positive one, it seemed.

When the hell did that happen?

“Also, all kudos to Nelson and Murdock, who accepted our request and are now suing the hell out of the Expert One and Two, possibly Three, for defamation and possible attempted assault.”

Your heart skipped a beat.

A breathy “Wait, what?!” fell from your lips.

“They offered to do it for free, but I think that a small donation never hurt anyone. You’ll find the link on the forum dedicated to our girl. You’ll find the link to that forum in your inbox if you haven’t already.”

There was a forum dedicated to you?! To hate you or to support you? How could you… not know about that?

Probably had something to do with how you shut off the whole world… social media included. Hell, especially those.

And the people who wrote the poem and sent it to everyone on uni could actually… be sued? It was that serious? From the legal side, not yours, you were sufficiently ruined about that you had no doubt-

“Let’s clap for Nelson and Murdock as they wave at us. Thank you, gentlemen!” Sharon called out and everyone’s head turned to a pair of lawyers you couldn’t hope to see – but you really had to in the future, because what?!

However, you did reluctantly join the deafening applause the people present dedicated to them.

Seriously, what was happening?

“Why I’m saying all this… I know she’s here with us today, because she deserves it just like everyone else. I would like to invite her to stand to the very left of the crowd. Please, come on, our brave soul.”

Sharon’s eyes unmistakably found you as if she knew where you were standing the whole time – which she probably could. Because of Penny. And obviously, few others.

Penny nudged you with a grin and you gulped as several onlookers sent you encouraging smiles.

You felt your face burning with all the eyes on you, your head spinning.

Oh god, oh god-

“Go,” Penny whispered to your ear. “You’ll like it, I promise.”

I’ll like what exactly?

“Uh-huh, sure,” you mumbled but gave in, your shaky feet carrying you outside the line of chairs to your left – it was probably no coincidence that you didn’t have to cross the aisle, already standing on the left half.

Everything was planned, that you were starting to understand… but to what end?

“You see, I want her to understand that maybe two or three people in this damn school made a fuss, but there’s quite a lot of people who don’t think any less of her, of people who are in fact happy for her and Professor Rogers. Also, I want her to be easy to find for later purpose,” Sharon explained as you reluctantly approached the aforementioned spot.

For later purpose? Easy to find?

A hunch slowly crept up your back and you couldn’t decide whether you wanted it to be true or not.

What were the chances it was something else though?

Pretty big, in fact. Because you had no clue what a surreal world you had found yourself in and how, but it seemed like everything, even the most absurd thing you wouldn’t even dare to think about, came to life here.

“You know, the best thing about her story is that… it’s a story of all of us. I mean, not in such a great detail, gosh, we wish to own a heart of such fine man, but…” More laughter erupted from the crowd and you choked on the sound ripped from your throat, something between a chuckle and a sob.

Wasn’t that the truth…

”But in the end, there is no great difference. We’re standing here today, because we pushed through. We stand here today, because this is our story of love and passion – for things, for people. It’s a story of working hard and losing sleep for something that truly matters to us. It’s a story of fighting off sticks and stones and overcoming obstacles, of fighting for our future,” Sharon said ceremonially, her voice fuelled by true yet not theatrical passion. One corner of her lips rose in a sad smile as she lightly shook her head, sending her blond hair flying. “And folks, I hate to break it to you, but it ain’t always gonna be easy. But the fact that we’re here today, in these ridiculous outfits we secretly love because they are a testimony to our success… it tells me that the future might not be the worst either.”

Sharon Carter made a pregnant pause, eyes searching in the sea of faces watching her, until her gaze fell at someone near you and her lips spread in an almost cheeky smile, one you hadn’t know she was capable of.

Before you could try and see what was the cause – even if the rapid beats of your heart already seemed to know the answer – she delivered an explanation.

“Isn’t that right, Professor Rogers?”

Hushed voices and shocked exclaims reached your ears, but you couldn’t quite hear them over the pounding of your pulse in your temples.

A tall figure with broad shoulders cladded in an unfamiliar hoodie was making its way to you, the crowd parting like a sea with each step he took. Even though he did, he didn’t have to lose the hood for your benefit – you had inspected his body thoroughly on many occasions, you knew his gait, and until now, you had believed that you were aware of every hoodie he had in his closet, because you had borrowed each and every one of them at least once when staying at his place... often.

Ruffled blond hair appeared first and then everything you had eyes for was his lips, curved in a hesitant smile and the beautiful eyes, so deep you could drown in them.

Your fingertips tingled with anticipation, your chest heaving in quick shallow breaths full of anxiety.

The expression on Steve’s face was unreadable – and yet, just seeing his face after the series of unfortunate events, was enough to chase tears into your eyes and for your feet to twitch with the unstoppable urge to run to him.

It was only the fear of his reaction that prevented you from making the tinniest move.

A pointed clearing of a throat sounded through the microphone, but you couldn’t tell if it worked on people, if they turned their attention to the person on the stage or kept watching your reunion. Reunion with Steve – who naturally hogged all your attention and as he approached you, his presence assaulting nearly all of your senses.

A sight for your sore teary eyes.

The barely audible yet deafening whisper of your name.

His natural scent mixed with his cologne and the detergent he used – even standing two feet away, you would swear you could smell it, perhaps a mirage created by your wishful memories.

The ghost of his skin and hair tickled your fingers as you had been running your hands through his hair and beard and roamed his body so often that you could practically feel it even now.

Half of the things you sensed must have been a figment of your imagination; yet, they felt very real, as did the rapid staccato of your heart hammering in your ribcage, the butterflies both pleasant and unpleasant occupying your stomach.

“Now, let the lovebirds figure it out and listen up, people…”

“Hi,” he greeted you softly, a single caress of his voice encouraging the flipping of metaphorical wings in your stomach.

���Hi,” you replied automatically, unable to think about anything better to say.

What were you supposed to say?

You had already made your peace with him not coming… to a point. You forgone all hope; so now you were desperately unprepared for him showing up, all casual-looking in jeans and a hoodie and so damn gorgeous as always.

An attempt at a smile graced his lips, his hand rising to the back of his neck in his typically bashful gesture as he self-consciously looked around.

“I’m sorry. I had no idea they would make such a fuss. I just followed the instructions and showed up-“

You heart sank to your gut; your body, warming up in his presence alone as he was your personal sun, suddenly felt cold with the metaphorical bucket of icy water his words provided.

He came here because someone told him to – someone who planned this stunt, this ridiculous and utterly stupid show. What was next? Were you supposed to kiss for the audience?

The same nausea you remembered feeling when seeing the poem hit you all over again; Steve didn’t want to be here.

He wasn’t here for you, he wasn’t here because he wanted to set things right.

The pain erupting in your chest was shocking and burned like a flame fed on gasoline. You truly were over and his words-

“No, wait, that came out wrong!” he hurried, crossing the short distance between you in three long steps and you would have taken a step back, hadn’t your feet rooted into the ground. “I came… I’m here because I wanted to see you. I missed you, sweetheart.”

Tears rolled freely down your face, the endearment sending a shiver down your spine, the admission sparking a warm light within you again.

You met his gaze, your knees shaking slightly in weakness, threatening to give out as you feared what exactly you would see in his eyes.

You could melt right there when you were met with the same softness he always observed you with, a blue-green sea of wonder and love, tainted with reluctance and regret.

You pressed your lips together in effort to stop your jaw from quivering.

Regret you were more than familiar with; conflict, sorrow, self-pity, anger, resignation, shame… those were the other emotions which you guessed he could read on your face.

His brows furrowed and he closed his eyes, shaking his head.

“I’m not here to guilt trip you. Actually-“ Steve started again and finally, as his hand disappeared in the front pocket of the hoodie, you found your voice, interrupting him.

“I missed you too,” you sobbed, covering your mouth as soon as the pathetic sound left your lips.

Steve’s own lips parted in awe, his gaze somewhat lighting up with a new hearty emotion.

But once you started talking, finally, finally speaking up, the dam broke and the waterfall of words couldn’t be stopped.

“And I’m sorry, Steve, I’m so sorry for shutting you off like that, you didn’t deserve that and you were probably in a small personal hell too, I don’t even know if your job was affected and how are doing and it’s not right, I wasn’t supposed to ignore all your calls and texts, I was supposed to-“

“-reach out when you’re ready,” he finished for you, completely differently than you had intended.

It shut you up effectively.

“Look… I understand. It was tough and it still is and if you want this to be the last time we ever talk-- then it will,” he rasped, his voice breaking towards the end of the sentence, your heart squeezing painfully at both the premise and at hearing him hurting.

God, how much he must have been hurting for the past few days and now he was talking about understanding you and forgiving you for ghosting him and still offering you an out and--- Jesus fucking Christ, you were going to drown in your own tears.

And Steve reached into that damn pocket again and even if you had no idea what was there, you had a hunch it was some kind of a gift – either a parting gift or something for your graduation and you simply couldn’t--- you didn’t care for some materialistic shit right now-

You just needed to feel him again.

Taking one single step at a lightning speed, you let the diploma case fall to the ground and threw your arms around Steve’s neck, burying your face in his chest, drawing a surprised huff from him.

A box dug into your stomach, the content of the front pocket, but you didn’t give a fuck.

Not when Steve’s arms sneaked around your waist and shoulder with no hesitation, engulfing you, his nose burying into your hair—and cursing when the cap got in his way.

You chuckled madly into his hoodie, your fingers clutching the fabric when his daring lips awkwardly found a way to your temple.

You felt like you were touched by an angel, delighted laughter that shook both of your entangled bodies ripping from your throat along with a sob.

“Shit, Steve, I’m so sorry, I missed you so much, please forgive me, please, please, please-“

“No way. Nothing to forgive-“

“Like hell it isn’t-“

“It hurt, but I get it. I truly do,” he whispered frantically, his hands moving to push you away just enough to frame your damp face with his big warm palms. “You just needed time to process what happened.”

You nodded and then lowered your gaze in shame – because you were incredibly embarrassed for your further cowardice, sobbing like a stupid five-year-old. “And then I—I was scared that you wouldn’t care anymore- that it was too late-“

God, now when you said it out loud, it sounded even more pathetic, but that was now, in his arms, when everything made so much more sense-

He shook his head, causing you to look up again just in time to see the flash of hurt in his brilliant irises disappearing. With a brief smile passing his lips, he held your face more firmly in attempt to maintain eye contact.

“No. It would take a whole lot more for me to stop caring and there still would be no guarantee it would work,” he promised, gaze so intense that you couldn’t but believe him, no matter how unreal his words sounded. “You are not what they called you and you are mine, as long as you want, because I love you. Okay? I love you, because yeah, I still think you’re really freaking amazing.”

You chuckled at his choice of words, your heart bursting with their message. The heavy burden resting upon your shoulders dropped at last – and you felt as light as a feather, bound to the man staring into your eyes as if they were the last thing he wanted to see should he turn blind the next second.

He still loved you. Steve still loved you and both your heart and mind were enamoured of him, overwhelmed with his declaration.

You were not good with your words – in fact, in that moment, you were certain you forgot all the words in English language and in every other language you had ever tried to learn too.

There was only one language left to use then; the universal one that could fit thousands of words into one single second.

You let go of Steve’s hoodie, grabbed his face instead and pulled, rising to your tiptoes in hope to reach his lips with yours.

Luckily for you, he got the message before you could pathetically kiss only the patch of skin under his chin and allowed you to move him as much as you wanted.

And by Gods, did you want, finally adding the fifth sense into the play. Taste. You missed how he tasted and how his beard scratched against your sensitive skin-

Your tears spiked your kiss with salt, but neither of your cared as you pushed through the seam of his lips, letting him know what you desired before passing on the lead to him, an open-mouthed kiss full of desire, longing and raw emotions causing you to forget all about your surroundings until a low wolf-whistle sounded on your right, bringing you back to reality.

You parted involuntarily, foreheads resting against each other, warm tears still rolling down your cheeks, but now getting lost in your content smiles.

“I love you, Steve. I love you and if you love me too, then we belong together and whoever thinks otherwise can shove their opinion where the sun doesn’t shine,” you echoed his words from almost a year ago, words that stuck with you, because they were true.

You and Steve, you were the ones who mattered. These were your lives, your relationship, and you had done nothing wrong.

Because you loved each other.

Steve’s mouth caught yours for a short moment, nothing but a nip at your lips – a silent agreement followed by a warm smile, mirroring your own.

“Will you let me give you a little something now?” he whispered, sounding slightly amused as that would be the third attempt that day and the urge to slap his arm for being cheeky felt like a surge of pure life into your veins. The familiarity made your heart sing.

You glanced up at him, retreating and eyed him from head to toe in an appreciative and yet teasing matter. “Haven’t you already? How do I unwrap you, mister?”

Steve chuckled and pulled out a rectangular box, holding it out for you.

“Here. Congratulation to your bachelor degree. And know that if you don’t like it, we can always pick something else.”

You were only human – and curiosity might have killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back and the curiosity was killing you now as well. You bit down on your lip, not quite succeeding at masking your excited smile; even if you weren’t exactly deserving of a gift from Steve at the moment, which he would probably argue with, you couldn’t deny that you were touched by the gesture and who were you kidding, you did enjoy receiving a gift. And it was your graduation ceremony, you deserved to celebrate in every way imaginable.

You carefully took the box from Steve, tender fingers caressing the bow stuck on top. Hesitating only a second, enjoying the brief intoxicating anticipation, you lifted the lid.

Your breath got stuck in your throat as you revealed the necklace.

The chain, probably silver, was very delicate, carrying a simply decorated heart with a winding line in the middle, as if the heart was broken. Despite the symbolism, you couldn’t but revel at its beauty.

“Steve,” you breathed out shakily, unable to tear your gaze away from the jewellery, tears, dried at last, threatening to escape your eyes again. “This is… so beautiful. So much-“

You lifted your gaze, only to meet his twinkling eyes. “You like it?”

You nearly choked at the absurdity of the question. Liked it?

“Steve, it’s—like it? It’s breath-taking. You shouldn’t have- that’s-” Shit, this must have been so expensive- but you had seen it now and you loved it and you didn’t want to part with ever.  “-but I absolutely want to keep it now.”

Steve chuckled lightly at your antics, but you took no offence since you were being a bit greedy.

You reached out to brush the pendant with the softest of touches – and sucked a breath in fright when it fell apart, causing you to realize for the first time that the heart could be divided in two, each part having its own loop on the chain.

“Oh,” you let out in surprise, your mind racing. Now that definitely was symbolic. Not a broken heart. Two parts of one heart. “That’s… does this mean one half is for you?”

As you asked the question to make sure, you looked up to Steve’s face, only to find a blush creeping up his neck.

“Uhm… I mean-“

“That’s so cute! And cheesy. So sweet though! I guess we do fit…” you mused, a goofy smile from the swirl of emotions today a testimony of how mushy the lovely and meaningful gift turned you. Steve’s blush deepened, but a delighted smile spread on his lips, eyes soft, so you assumed he was simply happy you liked it. “And we do complete each other.”

“Oh sweetheart,” Steve whispered, clasping your free hand in his, caressing tenderly before bringing it to his lips and dropping a barely-there kiss on its back.

“Would you wear it?” you queried, slightly nervous. “One of the halves I mean.”

It might have been his idea, but did you read him correctly?

“If that’s what you want. Give me your half and keep mine,” he offered, one corner of his lips higher in a cheeky and yet tender smile.

“You got a deal, Stevie. Thank you.”

“I’m glad you like it, sweetheart. I was going to give you a key to the apartment officially, kneel on one knee and all that-“

“WHAT?!”

He wanted to do what?!

“-to ask you if you want to move in permanently, but I understand that we’ve been through a lot, you’ve been through a lot, so while the offer stands, I don’t want you to feel pressured or-“

Oh really? Then why did he even tell you about it?

Your heart felt like beating its way out of your chest, the widest grin spreading on your lips. Staring at Steve as he was stuttering, you couldn’t decide whether he was nervous about asking, trying his luck, or was teasing you, knowing all too well what you were about to say.

Oh god, your head was spinning, again-

“Yes!” you blurted out before you could think twice, shocking the stammering mess of Steve into silence.

“Really?!” he shot back in awe, his lips left parted in genuine surprise – and his expression was pure relief.

“Yes. If you mean it – and God help you if you don’t-“ And you were serious, if he was messing with you now— he wouldn’t, right? Steve wouldn’t joke about such important topic, about your life together.

“Of course I mean it-”

You squealed, closing the box you had nearly dropped in shock and hugged Steve as tight as you could, causing him to huff for the second time that day. Oh you were never letting go of him!

The crowd you entirely forgot about cheered and you jumped away from Steve as if burned, horrified that they had been following your reconciliation and displays of love this whole time-

And then you noticed the graduation caps in the air, a tradition celebrating the success of your year. You grinned at the image, catching Steve’s gaze.

“Go on,” he encouraged you, mirroring your grin when you reached for the square cap, swinging and sending it high in the air.

A yelp escaped you as you found yourself in the air as well in a blink of an eye, nestled in Steve’s arms as he laughed madly, pure delight shining from his eyes; and love. So much love.

You barely caught the cap, not really caring for it when in the arms of your man. You dropped a kiss to his lips, earning one in return and a few more, as you couldn’t get enough for each other after such a long time apart and so much unnecessary heartbreak.

You rested your foreheads against each other, tender meetings of lips, brushes of noses-

Steve winced and hissed in pain, causing you to withdraw and frown as you studied his face.

“Sorry, just… my nose…” he mumbled, seemingly embarrassed, “...tender.”

“From…?” you questioned, absolutely baffled. Steve sighed, but just one glare from you told him that you were not letting it go. You didn’t want him in any pain – you both lived through more enough of it in the past few days.

“Bucky punched me.”

“What?!” you blurted out, shocked to the core, and you braced yourself on Steve’s shoulders, your gaze automatically flickering through the crowd to find the culprit.

Why the heck would Bucky-

“Long story, tell you later,” Steve promised with a peck to your lips, signalling that the conversation was over. For now.

You had better things to do after all. So you only smiled in agreement – you couldn’t seem to stop smiling for some reason.

Wonder what that could be? Maybe because it finally feels like today is a win?

“I’m sure you will.”

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦- Bonus: -◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

It was the day after her own graduation when the blond was sitting on a park bench, light summer dress with cherry blossoms gently swirling around her knees, absentmindedly swiping through the apps on her phone, looking up every now and then to smile at the image of families enjoying the weather and freedom of summer.

She merely paused in her idly actions when the redhead woman she was waiting for seated herself next to her on the other end, sliding an envelope with a promised reward her way.

“As promised,” the redhead said disinterestedly, barely on a lower volume than a normal conversation would be and tugged a loose strand of her hair behind her sunglasses. “Pleasure doing business with you.”

The blond smiled softly, reaching for the envelope and subtly hid it in her purse. “Same. It was rather fun, actually.”

This time, a smile broke on the redhead’s lips as well, cocky, satisfied, but by any means false.

“Well, I heard you’re staying for your master’s. You contact Danvers if you want any more of that fun, da?”

“You better count on that, Rushman.”

“It’s Romanoff, actually,” the redhead smirked, side-eyeing the blond as she rose to her feet again, ready to go where her orders would take her. She spent one more glance at the other woman though; she had carried out her task perfectly, in a way that seem very natural. She’d make a good addition to their growing team and since Natasha was anything but unpolite… “Looking forward to working with you in the future, Carter.”

Sharon Carter felt a surge of pride and couldn’t but return the courtesy before the woman would walk away from her life for god knew how long.

“Feeling’s mutual.”

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

Attached masterlist

Attached: Words Lost in Translation 

S.R.masterlist

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

Thank you for reading ♥ We’re over 40k into the series, so thank you if you stuck around :-*

Lemme know your thoughts?

You might have noticed a to-be link for another addition to the Attached series called Words Lost in Translation. It’s more of an idea in my head, very little of the actual story written, but it will hopefully involve a bit jealousy… and smut. Just FYI.

Stay happy and safe!

[m-y-fandoms]

Korekiyo Shinguuji x oblivious crush reader - short imagine

Request: could i request some headcanons or an imagine (whichever you prefer, i’m not picky lol) for Korekiyo with a crush on an incredibly oblivious female reader who never realizes he’s trying to flirt with her/trying to see if she likes him back? sorry if this is a weird request haha :,)

THIS ISN’T A WEIRD REQUEST, KIYO IS MY BABY DADDY. Also you requested female reader, but I wrote this with a female in mind and then realized I never used any feminine-assigned words or pronouns in here, so anyone can read this with themselves in mind! - Mod Kokichi

Warnings: PG-13 in terms of sexual/romantic scenarios and wording

     “So, in essence, that is why the Egyptians worshipped Hathor, in all her grace and beauty. Isn’t that fascinating, y/n?” Korekiyo mused, watching you carefully as you waltzed through the rows of scrolls and ancient texts in his research lab.

     “Yes, it’s a wonderful story! You really are lucky to have traveled to Eygpt! Heck, I’d never even left Japan until...well coming to wherever we are trapped now. Do you mind?” You pointed to a particularly intricate and elaborate book cover on a high up shelf.

     “Not at all, my dear. Feel free to take any materials from my lab that you wish, as long as you promise I can visit your lab freely as well?” You let the words ‘my dear’ ghost over your ears with little to no reaction. Normally, if such a handsome man had playfully rolled those words off of his tongue in your direction, your neck hairs would have stood on end like a startled cat, but with Korekiyo it was different. You did harbor some...feelings for him, but he called everyone dear, right? He was always spewing mature and polite crap like that.

     “Yeah, of course, though I don’t know why an anthropologist would ever waste his time in a plain old dance studio,” you chuckled, on your tip-toes struggling for the tome far above you. Korekiyo snuck up behind you, his chest warm against your back as he reached up and plucked the book down for you, placing it gently in your hands. You held the book to your own chest and turned to face him, finding yourself flush against the wooden bookshelf with the lanky anthropologist trapping you in place. “Thanks, Kiyo!” You felt blood rush to your cheeks as he tilted his head at you like a curious puppy hearing the word ‘treat!’ You tried to settle your stuttering heart. Surely he was just being nice, right?

     “Think nothing of it…” his hands came up slowly on either side of your head, caging you in between his slender arms. “You know, y/n, Hathor is known mainly for her impressive duality. She balances femininity and softness with strength and vengeance. She is a protector, but also is the harbinger of dance, joy, love...sexuality.” His voice deepened into a rasp that was like melted chocolate flowing freely over your ears. His proximity was beginning to make you dizzy. “You remind me of Hathor in many ways. I see the way you take care of your friends here, the way you defend people, but also the with which you dance: the water-like movements of your passion.”

     “...” you stood there, silent for a moment, and then another moment, and then another. He looked at your expectantly, his expression unreadable through his mask. “Well, thanks, Kiyo! I never thought you’d be into ballet! Though I guess dance is a part of culture as much as anything else!” You ducked under his arm with a chipper attitude, shuffling into the open space of his lab, and he sighed deeply, looking at the ground in self-pity. Were you really not interested in him? He couldn’t blame you. Many people saw him as a creep, a pariah. He was a teenager that wore a mask at all times for crying out loud. He endlessly spewed random facts and unsolicited folk tales. Of course people avoided him. But you...you visited him every day. Before his lab opened up, you met with him in the library and inquired about his day. You asked him to eat lunch with you, and walk you back to the dorms after dinner. You asked to hear his stories, and he found himself growing to like you more and more. He didn’t want to admit his feelings until he knew for sure that you felt the same, but it was looking like his old friend, rejection, might win the war once again.

     “Kiyo, this lab is simply amazing! You’re so lucky... you got the biggest one yet! My studio looks like a janitor’s closet compared to this!” You spun around on the new floor on his lab, taking in the sights, book in hand. You’d been here every day since it opened, but dedicated yourself to one section a day, having only reached this floor earlier that evening. You thought knowledge like this deserved time and respect. Korekiyo agreed of course.

     “Well when one’s area of study is the entire world, a proportionately large area is needed for said study,” he drawled, slinking along behind you as you sat in a chair on the main floor. He sat in the chair across from you in front of the wall of display cases holding ceremonial swords and masks as you fingered through the book in wonder.

     “Woah…” your eyes widened innocently.

     “Ahhh, the Kama Sutra? You’re holding one of the oldest copies known to man.” He leaned closer to you, splaying his fingers over the page you were on slowly and seductively. “I had no idea you were this kind of person, y/n…” there’s that confectionary tone again, sweet and dripping with carnal desire.

     “N-no of course not I just...what kind of person do you mean? I mean...I think the book is just interesting, the cover and the design on the spine drew me in and-“

     “We should never judge a book based on its cover, yes?” He let his honeyed-words sink in to your doe-like eyes, “I think human beings, much like this book, hide things within our pages not immediately evident on our covers.”

     “I agree…” his words flew right over your head. “Like you! I didn’t know you had an interest in ballet at all!” He was starting to get frustrated, but he exhaled deeply, his inner voice telling him to have patience.

     “Well, yes, I’ve seen many different forms of dance, and of course, ballet is delicate and breath-taking, but also very strenuous. Another thing we shouldn’t take at face value. I’ve seen the feet of many a poor dancer after a performance, and it really is a harsh contrast to the grace of the dance itself.”

     “Yes, yes! You get it!” He smiled at your child-like wonder, with you seeing only the crinkle of his eyes above the mask. “I know so many men who don’t even think dance of any kind can be a sport. I think many so-called atheletes would give up on day one of ballet lessons.” You chuckled, and he let himself be enveloped in your laughter. He was complete entranced in your aura.

     “So, you will allow me to view your ballet practice in private some time? I’ve seen you with your lab door open in passing, but I would be absolutely delighted if you’d honor me with a private session, so I could focus on you and only you.” He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, his long raven hair falling around him like a bed canopy.

     “Oh, Kiyo…” you began, your own heart hurting at the words you were about the speak, but it was for the best. You didn’t want to waste his time, not in a place like this. “I know you’re interested in ballet, but after those first two trials and this whole not-knowing-when-we-are-gonna-die thing, I don’t think it would be a worthy use of your time to pull yourself away from all of this,” you gestured to the gigantic room around you, “in order to-”

     “Y/N-!” He spoke angrily and abruptly, startling you, before composing himself and beginning again, taking the book from your hand and instead intertwining his fingers in your own. “...I am not interested in ballet, so much as I am interested in you. Do you understand?” You felt your body tense up in complete shock. He wasn’t serious right…? He was teasing you, taking advantage of your naïveté and your obvious feelings for him. Maybe you weren’t hiding them as well as you’d thought.

     “Me…?” You looked at his wrapped hand in yours, the bandages scratchy texture pulling you back down to earth.

     “Yes, you.” He spoke bluntly, with nothing but compassion in his voice.

     “But you’re...you’re so…” he braced himself, waiting for the insults and degrading comments that always followed when he let his walls down around normal people.

     “...Odd? Long-winded? A freak of nature?” He sighed, pulling away.

     “Beautiful…” you could hardly hear your own words pouring from your mouth, the pounding of your heart beat too loud in your ears. You grabbed his hand, and in a moment of fragile silence, began to unwrap the linen that covered every inch of his fingers, then down to his palms and wrists. His hands, now revealed to you fully for the first time, were just as beautiful as his voice and cat-like golden eyes. They were pale, ghostly, ethereal. They looked like they could break at the slightest touch, but withstand any hard labor that was thrown at them at the same time. “Korekiyo, you spend so much time telling others that humanity is beautiful, that you haven’t taken the time to see it in yourself, have you? At least...not for a long while.”

     “Y/N, I-” you reached for the top of his mask with shaking fingers, and he jerked away roughly, terrified. When you reached out again, he didn’t move, steeling himself to be exposed to you. You deserved to see the truth. His eyelids fluttered closed, and his heart dropped into his stomach.

     Your fingertips lingered at the top of the mask before tugging it down gently. He kept his eyes shut tightly as you observed his full face.

     The tip of his nose, which you could tell from the nose bridge was thin, came to an adorable point above his lips. A delicate, milky white chin led up on either side to a sharp jawline, high cheekbones and a flawless complexion. That powdery complexion was met in stark contrast to the blood-red pigment of a matte lipstick staining his lips.

     “Y/N, I didn’t want you to see me...truly see me for the first time like thi-” you brought your lips closer to his until they were touching, and soon found yourself leaning into his chest, into his lap in his seated position in front of you. Your lips pressed into his, a bit more bold now, and your confidence spurred his own. You now straddled his hips, your legs on either side of his thighs, and he grabbed your hips, his hands shaking like a leaf in the wind. He pulled back, scanning your face for any regret, any shame or fear, and sensing none, crashed his lips onto yours again. He roughly sucked on your bottom lip, pulling a small moan from your mouth that excited him more than anything corporeal had in a long time. You never thought he’d be such a good kisser.

     “Korekiyo…” you pulled back again, giving you both some much-needed air. “I never thought that...someone like you would even glance my way. You’re so intelligent, so regal and elegant and different from the norm and…” your words trailed off, and his thumb reached up to your lips, roughly wiping away the red lipstick that clung onto your face as a reminder that he had been there.

     “Likewise, y/n,” he reclined back into the chair with you still on his lap, a little too cocky and cheeky for his own good, but to say the smirk on his messy red mouth wasn’t turning you on would be a lie.

[sparklingpax]

A Different Side (1/2)

Summary: Optimus comes back from an unsuccessful mission and seems to be out of sorts...but there’s more to that story. 

///

A/N: 

-This is a rather silly fic, so do not worry I promise there is nothing inappropriate or heavy in this one at all! It’s,,,a dumb idea I had in History the other day,,,I wrote most of it between/during class periods, and edited the rest when I was supposed to be doing homework at home! :’) 

-Please excuse any typos, grammar mistakes, ooc-ness, weird phrasings, punctuation errors, or really just anything that looks weird or isn’t right; I’m an amateur and I do this stuff for fun! So I’m naturally not the best at it....keep that in mind pls...

-WHAT IS THIS TITLE IM SO SORRY--

-Ok but this story is honestly kinda dumb goumen I’ll write better things soon

-Set in the TFP universe! 

-This only has two parts, so this be the first and the next update is the end of it.... 😹😹 ^^’’

Enjoy! :D 

///

“Eat my dust, Jack!”

“Not if I pass you first!!”

“No, you won’t!!!”

“Says who?!”

               Two cars raced around the base, one just barely passing the other.

               Miko and Jack had gone head-to-head, racing one last tournament before they had to go home—after the tie last round, they just had to know who, really, was the victor of the day. The two of them shouted competitively as they jammed the controls in one direction or another. Excited, Raf looked on. He, too, was curious of the outcome.

               At present, only Ratchet had remained at base.

               The others had gone out to investigate an abandoned energon mine somewhere in Maine. Optimus had visited the location once before but was not able to reach the source of the readings he’d gotten.

               Therefore, since there had been no Decepticon activity in the past week or so, he took his team to search the caverns.

               They were due to return in about 10 minutes, according to Ratchet. When they did, each guardian was then going to take their human companion home.

               It was a normal day at the Autobot base.

              “NO WAY—”

              “TAKE THAT!!!!”

              Jack threw his fist in the air triumphantly while Miko crumpled to the floor in defeat. Raf burst into laughter as she actually went and laid flat on her back.

             “The horror! I’ve let Jack win!!” She overdramatically wailed. Then, after a moment, sat up and giggled along with Raf and Jack. As the two went to retrieve their cars, Raf scampered up to Ratchet.

             “Hey, Ratchet. What are you doing?”

             The medic sighed, continuing to tinker with what looked like some kind of tool. “Fixing one of Bulkhead’s….accidents,” He muttered. With a sigh, he remembered the large mech smashing it while trying to reenact a fight he had, showing off to Miko. Naturally, the girl had been amazed, but it was short-lived as Ratchet, too, had witnessed that retelling.

              Raf fixed his glasses. “I’m sure it was just an accident, Ratchet.”

              With an eyeroll, Ratchet responded, “It was, but that doesn’t make it any less of an inconvenience, Rafael. It was quite immature of him, too.” He held it up to the light to observe a small detail of the frame.

              “Oh…I see.”

              “Thank the Allspark it’s not one of my more important tools,” he murmured, mostly to himself. Ratchet put it down for a moment to check on the progress of the rest of the team’s expedition.

              He pushed the comm button. “Optimus, come in. Have you found anything? Is everyone okay?”

             “Negative, Ratchet. There is nothing left in these caves,” he reported, a faint note of disappointment in his tone. “Though, everyone is fine. We require a bridge.”

              “Understood.”

              Ratchet tapped a few more buttons to lock onto their coordinates and pulled the lever, activating the groundbridge.  Miko and Jack broke off their conversation and joined Raf to stand by Ratchet, waiting for their guardians’ returns.

               Sure enough, after a moment, the team came through the portal with a swishing noise, Optimus the last one through. While the three kids gravitated to their partners, Optimus merely stood at the bridge. He remained for a moment, passing his gaze over his team.

              Then, without a word, he turned and headed down the halls—to his room.

              “Did you really think….” Arcee trailed off her snide remark at Jack as she heard Optimus’s heavy footsteps go past everyone and down the hall. She and Jack exchanged looks as everyone else, also, noticed this.

               After a short spell of silence, Miko finally spoke up.

               “Is he mad or something? Cuz I mean, geez—he didn’t even say hello.” She folded her arms.

               “No, Miko,” Ratchet responded, sounding a little exasperated. “What could he be angry over, if he were?” More silence followed his words. It was not often Optimus actually showed what he was feeling like this.

               Everyone was therefore concerned.

               “Do you think…he might be, like, really disappointed about not finding anything in the caves, then?” Jack asked, drifting from Arcee to the groundbridge area. “I mean, from what he’s been saying, you guys really needed that energon…”

               “He could just be tired, too,” Raf chimed in. The bots thought for a moment.

               Bumblebee shifted from one foot to the other, clearly uncomfortable. ‘I just hope he’s okay…’

               Ratchet set his tools aside and headed for the hall. “I’ll go talk to him,” he said. The humans and bots exchanged glances, then nodded.

///

               “So!” Ratchet huffed frustratedly, emerging from the halls. “He won’t open the door, and will not talk to me, either!” He threw his hands in the air with a noise of exasperation, trudging back to his station.

               Rafael nudged Miko, who had her headphones in. Jack stood up and began down the stairs.

               “I guess something is wrong,” Arcee murmured, folding her arms. She caught sight of Jack, regarding her companion with an inquisitive gaze.

               “Jack?”

               “I’ll talk to him.” He heard his own determined voice, then touched the back of his head with an awkward laugh. “I’ll—I’ll try, I mean…”

               “Good luck,” Ratchet muttered bitterly, not taking his eyes off his current repair project. “If he even has the courtesy to acknowledge you at all.”  Jack flashed a thumbs up.

He uneasily began to wonder what could have put Optimus so out of sorts that he wouldn’t even speak to Ratchet. It was also rare for Optimus to do this kind of thing, apparently.

Something told Jack it wasn’t just about the energon…but he still wanted to find out for himself.

               “Later, Jack!” Raf called, scampering down the steps. Miko followed, slinging her backpack onto her shoulders. She waved.

               “Yeah, we’re gonna go home now, but you better text us later, kay?” Bulkhead and Bumblebee then transformed, and the two kids hopped in. Ratchet, remembering he had to bridge them out, audibly sighed, slumping over.

               “For the love of Primus, am I able to get any work done around here without constantly being interrupted?!”

               That’s my cue to leave, Jack thought. He quickly hurried down the halls, not wanting to be the next victim of Ratchet’s frustration. He knew the medic only meant well, and that his work was important to him.

               Still, he internally wished Ratchet had more patience. Even if he didn’t scare Jack, it was still unpleasant to be around the old bot when he was not in a good mood.

               Speaking of which….

               Jack came upon Optimus’s berth room, which was closed. He sucked in a breath, raising his arm to knock. Hesitation pulled his arm back after a second.

               What if he is just resting? I’d be pretty ticked if someone interrupted my long nap…

               A memory of Miko pushing him off the couch as a prank resurfaced. He remembered feeling frustrated more than anything else. Of course, she’d apologized, but that wasn’t really going to give him back those precious minutes of sleep.

               He rolled his eyes. “What can you expect when you’re friends with Miko Nakadai, right?” He murmured, raising his arm again. But for the sake of satisfying my own curiosities, at least—

               “Hey, Optimus?” Jack called, knocking lightly. When he received no response for a few minutes, he sighed and knocked again—this time, a bit louder. “Optimus!! Are you okay in there?”

               There was a rustling noise from behind the door, but still no response. Jack decided to stop knocking. He put his back against the metal and slid to the floor. Maybe simply talking it out would help.

               “You know, everyone’s kinda worried about you…” He sighed again, laughing a little. “Oh, and Ratchet’s kinda mad you didn’t even acknowledge him. So…you’re probably gonna have to apologize for that later…”

               The boy bowed his head a little. It was possible Optimus wanted to be left alone right now. Coming to bother him might have been a mistake. Jack began to think up other ways he and the others could figure out—

               “Jack.”

               Optimus spoke at last, his voice sounding calm—completely level, actually. Instantly, the teen sprang to his feet and answered.

               “Optimus! Ok, good. You’re alive, then,” he joked. When the Prime didn’t respond to his jest—naturally—Jack shook his head and chuckled quietly. “It’s ok, I was joking. Anyway—do you….wanna talk? Is everything ok? You seemed kind of sad when you came through the bridge…and you didn’t even tell us how it went…”

               Didn’t tell us anything, actually, but I’ll leave that part out. I’m sure Optimus doesn’t want to be guilted for stuff at the moment.

               There was another noise—it sounded a little more desperate before it abruptly came to a stop. Then, the Autobot leader’s hefty footsteps began to approach the door. Jack backed away, glad that his efforts seemed to have paid off. The large metal sheet slid upwards, revealing Optimus’ huge figure.

               His face was completely expressionless, but he mustered a somewhat warm look when he gazed at Jack.

               Well, at least Optimus said something and…opened his door, Jack consoled himself mentally. Even though I still don’t know what’s bothering him. Guess we’ll just have to wait for him to tell us…

               “I will go apologize to Ratchet. It was not my intention to offend him…” He started out the door and down the hall. Then, he paused to face Jack for a moment as he added, “And my apologies also to you, I did not mean to worry anyone. Thank you for coming to get me.”

               “Oh—no, don’t worry about that, Optimus. It’s fine.”

               The Prime nodded briefly, saying nothing more. Jack watched him go. Now, he was even more confused than before.

               So why were you acting weird when you got back to base?

               By coincidence, his gaze happened to wander to Optimus’ open berth room. Jack had the sudden realization that he’d never seen Optimus’s berthroom before. Actually, he hadn’t seen any of the bots’ rooms since he’d known about their base.

               He left the door open, it wouldn’t hurt to go take a look…I think?

               Quietly, he padded inside. Taking a moment to look around, Jack noted that it was quite a huge space—way bigger than he’d expected from the size of the door.

It was also very….bare.

               No posters, furnishings, or anything other than the walls, his berth, and a small shelf. On that shelf, there was nothing except for some mystery object shoved in the corner, covered by an old blue cloth.

               “Exactly what you’d expect from a guy like Optimus,” Jack remarked to himself. He sighed and began to walk away, when suddenly a noise snapped his attention back around.

               Back to the shelf.

               Back to the blue cloth.

               A noise that had come from….

               “What is that thing?” Jack murmured to himself as he drew close to it again.

               He jumped back as it vibrated and briefly glowed a bright blue. It seemed to come back to life as a steady humming filled the air of the room. The teen came to a halt right in front of the shelf, placing his hands on his hips as he stared at it, curious and confused.

               Was he trying to hide this? Jack wanted even more to know what it did—what it was.

               And while he stared at it, the object beneath the cloth made another noise.

               “Roadwork ahead?? Uh, YEAH, I sure hope it does!”

               For a moment, Jack stood immobile. Then, he burst into laughter.  

               Optimus was watching vines….he was watching vines….Optimus Prime was watching vines.

               He suddenly remembered what had happened to his mom when she watched vine for the first time. For at least two long, painful weeks, the only things she said were vine quotes—in a failed attempt to be funny. 

               Optimus was watching….vines….oh no.

               Jack turned on his heel and sprinted down the halls.

....

I’ll edit and fix stuff later; I’m in class rn lolol :’D

Thx for reading!! Feedback is always appreciated~

<3

[supernatural---imagines]

Girlfriend- Part 9: Family

Series summary: Sam’s suspicious behaviour has you and Dean curious enough to follow him, to find out he is meeting with a Demon in secret leaves you both in shock. Based on S4 demon blood story line with a darker ending.

Pairings: Dean x Reader, Sam x Ruby, Sam x Reader (Platonic)

Chapter summary: Your final chance to bring Sam home. Everything seems to be going well but nothing is easy for this family. Lots of reader x Sam platonic fluff and some Dean x Reader smut (between * if you want to avoid!).

MASTERLIST

“DEAN!” You yelled as desperation filled your body at the thought of your better half being in danger. You squirmed on your bale and looked at Sam with anguish.

“I’ll check it out." Sam spoke, just how he used to when you heard a scream on a case back in the day. He was flicking back and forward from this monster to your best friend and it was messing with your head more than you’d like.

"Sammy, please, if there's any part of you in there that is still human, still my best friend and still his brother.. you’ll un-cuff me." You begged. Your body wept but there was no tears left in you to cry, your eyes pleaded with Sam. You watched as he turned away from you and the last piece of hope you had left in the man crumbled as he walked through the doorway and left you cuffed. It had only been a few seconds, but there was still no sound, which was worrying. 

You hauled yourself up off the bale and with your hands still pinned behind your back you jogged as fast as you could through the door way. It simply led to an extension of the hayloft and there was some old small farm equipment up there. Some horse harnesses, shovels, but the floor space wouldn’t allow for anything larger, it couldn't have been wider than three feet. Your eyes caught Sam who was peering over the ledge, jaw slack. You rushed to him and followed his line of sight which landed upon the 15 foot drop beneath your feet and your boyfriend and the demon both laying on the hard barn floor unconscious.

“Dean!!” You yelled his name hoping your voice would waken him, but not even a groan, he was out cold. You observed his body top to bottom,  you couldn’t see any bullet wound. The gunshot hadn’t hit him.

“Sam help him!” You demanded. Sam’s eyes flicked between you and the two lifeless bodies on the floor below a couple of times, before he sighed and began to climb over the side of the ledge. He lowered his body down and dangled before dropping, the height of him almost halving the drop, the demon blood probably keeping him safe regardless. He put his arms up for you, implying that he would catch you if you jumped. You were caught off guard, maybe your speech before had gotten to him, or maybe it was all part of the plan to trust him, or maybe even he’d have you jump and not catch you at all. But Dean was laying on the cold, hard ground still not conscious and he needed you.

You got down on your knees and shimmied over to the edge, Sam waved his hands encouraging you to hurry up. You lay on your stomach and began to slip your body over the edge, trying to inch your way over as slow as possible to prepare yourself mentally for the drop. You moved along a centimetre more and caught yourself off guard as you had knocked your balance off and you were about to drop, you panicked in the last second and tried to scramble back up.

“It’s OK. I’ll catch you. I would never let you fall.” Sam said in the softest tone, taking you right back to a year ago when everything was normal. Those were the exact words he had said to you on a poltergeist case that you both worked in New York. An apartment building was showing signs of a haunting and you both went to check it out. You had broken in to an apartment to check for any emf  when the owner came home pissed with a shotgun. You and Sam clambered down the fire escape but it came to an end suddenly and you had to jump down to the ground floor. Those were the words that put the trust in you that no matter what happened to you, Sam would always catch you. It was a moment you knew you had something real with the brothers, that you belonged and you were all a team.. a family. 

You closed your eyes, your mind a mess of emotion and not knowing what to think anymore. You took a deep breath in and launched your body off the edge, landing into Sam’s arms with a huge sigh of relief. He set you down gently and held the joint of your cuffs, with a squeeze he snapped them, leaving your hands free to move with a single cuff around each. The shock of his incredible strength didn’t have time to impact you as you ran to your boyfriend and dropped to your knees, patting his chest and calling his name. Sam rushed to Ruby, but as soon as he landed at her side his eyes were still fixated on his brother. He realised pretty quickly that Ruby was no longer in her meatsuit, and he stood up and towered over your shoulder as you tried to wake Dean up. 

“Y/N?” Dean opened one eye while slowly starting to sit up, you guided him up slowly and pulled him into your arms. He dropped his weight on to your shoulder and gripped you tight. You pulled him back up to look at him and his lips landed on yours. 

“What the hell happened?” You asked as you broke away. 

“That bitch tried to kill me. We fought, we fell, she hit me on the head and the last thing I saw before the lights went out was her smoking out.” Dean explained. You stood up and helped Dean up, keeping your hand securely in his as you stood side by side. The brothers looked at each other, the tension in the air was thick. 

“So you gonna drain me, baby brother?” Dean asked cocking his head to the side. He asked the question with confidence but he was so afraid of the answer. Sam stared back, his faced winced as he thought which gave you the opportunity to try and reason once more Sam. 

“You said you’d never let me fall Sam, and you never did. You caught me every time. How can you not see how far you have fallen? You wont let us catch you. Ruby is only pushing you down farther Sam, please believe me. And let me catch you for once.” You took a step closer to him, Dean’s hand still holding yours tightly. You reached your free hand out to him and searched into his eyes. They softened, a layer of tears glazing over them indicating that there was still human in there, and he did want to come home. 

“Be my brother again. I need you” Dean followed your tactics and his words sunk Sam, the tears finally escaping his eyes as he began to walk towards you both, his hand reaching to yours as a wave of relief rushed over you. Dean beamed from ear to ear as his brother finally gave in. Your moment was interrupted as black smoke trailed through the barn and landed in the limp body of Ruby. Her eyes flicked black as she came to and she stood up, rushing to Sam who stepped back and took his hand away sharply. 

“We have 5 minutes, I smoked out, got us a body to drain.. two if you count the one I rode over here. They’re in the car, lets go! These assholes are too much trouble.” She tugged on Sam’s arm leading him to the exit. 

“Don’t” He pulled back slightly, but he was unsure. You nodded your head at him for assurance. Ruby’s face turned and she snapped round to you and Dean. She raised her hand up to you, ready to harm you. You braced yourself for the impact when instead she began to choke. 

“Stop it now, Sam!” She yelled, holding her throat. Sam had his hand raised at her and his face was sad as he concentrated is energy on his lover. 

“I knew I shouldn’t have left you alone with them!” She spat out between coughs. Sam’s performance slowed as he looked at her, hurt and confusion over his face. 

“Sam, don’t do this. They’re manipulating you. They don’t care about you.” She caught her breath as his torture briefly halted.

“We have always cared about you. I’m your flesh and blood, I’d die for you. Don’t listen to her” Dean’s voice cracked. He thought he had Sam back, but he was now realising that he could be snatched away again just as quickly. 

“I don’t know what to do.” Sam cried, he looked at you both trying to scramble his brain for a decision but comping up empty repeatedly.

“Do you remember the day I met you both?” You asked Sam.

“What?” He asked confused.

“Do you?” You repeated yourself. 

“Um.. yeah.” He sighed.  

“Your brother was hitting on me the whole time” You smiled fondly remembering the old days as Dean squeezed your hand. “And you were telling him, hey don’t scare this one away please.” Sam fondly scoffed at the memory. “But that night, do you remember what you told me?” 

“I don’t remember..” He spoke shyly, almost upset that he couldn’t recall. 

“You told me how he looked after you, and what kind of man he was.” You reminded him. 

“I remember.. I told you that I knew I could trust you because Dean said I could, and he was never wrong about that” He recalled. “I also told you to give him a chance because he might act like a flirty jackass but he’s the best man I know.” 

Ruby’s face was reclaimed by desperation as she saw herself losing Sam in front of her eyes. “They’re lying to you!” She screamed from her spot where Sam had her stuck. 

“Shut up!” He yelled, finally making his decision. He raised his hand and closed his eyes. They flicked black as he focused all his strength on her, her body freezing up and as her eyes began to bleed and her smoke came pouring out of her body. Dean looked away, refusing to see his brother with black eyes. Ruby dropped lifeless to the floor and Sam pushed his breath out, before looking back to you and Dean for instruction on what to do next. 

“Let’s go home.” You smiled. 

- 

“Let’s get you inside, boy.” Bobby grumbled with a smile as he led Sam into his house after a brief reunion. He brought him to the panic room to detox, and Sam didn’t protest, he knew what he had to do to be part of the family again. 

You went upstairs to Bobby’s spare room and landed on the bed with a beam from ear to ear. The crook of your elbow covered your eyes as you basked in the win of today, the win you never thought was coming. Dean slipped into the room quietly, admired you laying on the bed with your shirt slightly tugged up revealing part of your stomach. You moved your arm to look at him. His expression matched yours as he kicked off his boots and dived on top of you. You busted into laughter as the bed dipped and creaked with his weight and he rolled you over so your body was on top of his. He kissed the top of your nose delicately before you rested your head on him as he held you securely. 

“I can never, ever explain to you what you’ve done today. You brought him home” Dean cuddled you tightly as he spoke, his stubbly jaw resting against your hair as you were pressed tightly to his chest. 

“We both did” 

“No, Y/N. You did.” He placed a kiss to your head and you smiled into him. “And I’m not doing anything now, and I don’t know when I will. I don’t gotta ring or anything. But I just want you to know that I want to spend my life with you, you’ll be a Winchester one day.” 

Your heart began to pound in your chest, and your eyes welled up, for the first time in a long time from happiness. You looked up to your boyfriend, his gorgeous smile lighting up his face and consuming his eyes like it used to.

“You mean that?” You breathed. He pressed his lips to yours answering you without words. His feelings transcended through his body to yours as he began to run his hands over you and show you how he really feels. 

* 

The passion in his movements as he rolled on top of you began to heat up. He softly stroked your face with his hand as his lips sunk onto yours, tongues exploring each other. He grinded onto you, you could already feel his hardness through his jeans. Your hand wandered down to between his legs and caressed his boner through the denim. He moaned into your mouth and with a smile you broke the kiss and rolled him off you. 

You slid down his body and began to unbuckle his jeans. His dick bulged out and you licked your lips, seeing the pre-cum already dripping through his grey boxers. You looked into his eyes with a smirk and tugged them down, licking your hand before you began to stroke his cock gently. He rested his head back on the pillow as you began to kiss his tip, swirling your tongue around his head and mopping up the dripping pre-cum. You took him in your mouth and began to work up and down his length. As you sucked he grabbed a fist full of your hair, guiding you along just how he liked. He began to pump his hips into your mouth reaching your throat, provoking a gag from you. 

“Y/N...” he groaned your name in please as you took back control, working your hand at the base at the same time as you sucked him off. Your other hand traced up his leg and found his balls, gently caressing them as he started to squirm, begging to reach his orgasm. 

“I’m gonna-” He pushed your head down once more at his desired pace as you pushed him over the edge, his cum filling your mouth. You swallowed it down and regained your breath before crawling back up to the top of the bed to be beside him once more. 

* 

“Thank you, baby” he pressed a kiss to your forehead and pulled you back into his chest. He kicked his jeans off from around his ankles and tugged his boxers back up, then drew the covers over you both and squeezing you tight. 

“I love you so damn much” he whispered.

 - 

“DEAN! Y/N!” Bobby busted into the bedroom in the morning before the sun had risen. 

“Jesus, Bobby” Dean screwed up his face as he sat up in bed, looking at the panicked man in the door way. 

“It’s Sam. He’s gone.”

[alchemist-shizun]

Seirios

Read on Ao3!

Check out the wonderful artwork by @jajathelivingmeme !! She’s a delight and a talented friend 💜

Word Count: 22,331

Characters: Roman, Virgil, Deceit, Remus, Logan, Patton, Emile, Remy, Thomas

Pairing(s): Prinxiety, Loceit, Remile

Warning(s): minor character death and death mentions, implied bad parenting (minor), slight violence, not physical, unrequited romance, kissing, crying, panic attack, ptsd, blood, face and eye injury, scar mention, knives mention, hospital mention, very slight gore (just in an emotional description), insomnia mention, Passing out, apparent major characters death (tell me if I missed anything!)

Summary: It's hard for kids to fall asleep. It's especially hard for Remus when he can't help but stare at the night sky, mesmerized. That's why his guardian and uncle Janus decided to tell him a bed time story about two stars' lives and adventures along with the Sun and the Moon. Janus surely didn't expect for the storytelling to lead them to meet the local astronomer, Logan, not to mention develop a stronger bond with him. The best bit? All of his stories were true. Meet Janus Hydra, a fallen shooting star become human, and come listen to the events he witnessed while in space.

A/N: This is my entry for @ts-storytime ! A big thank you to @i-am-overly-complicated for the moral support and some suggestions, and to @crazydemigod666 for beta reading the fic, love ya bud. I worked super hard on this, I hope you all enjoy! Taglist will be added in a reblog.

✾

❝ It's you, it's you, it's all for you,

Everything I do.

I tell you all the time,

Heaven is a place on earth with you. ❞

He knew nothing of the sky.

He would look out of the window at night and glance up at the starry empyrean, wondering how it was possible that his mother had been part of those celestial entities.

And maybe, now that she was gone, he hoped she was part of them again, the stardust she had left behind now scattered across the universe.

« Remus? » his uncle Janus knocked on the door to his room and peeked inside. « Ready to settle down for the night? »

The kid sighed and stepped away from the window he was resting his arms and head on; sleeping was the part of the day he hated the most, there were so many things awaiting him, ideas in his head he wanted to get out in the real world, how could he simply lay dead doing absolutely nothing for eight hours straight?

Resting was too boring and Remus could think of more than a few things to do in its place.

Janus took a couple of steps in his nephew's direction and held out a hand to him like he was doing a grand gesture.

« Is the little duke in the mood for his sleeping duty? »

« Don't think so. » Remus shrugged and glanced at his bed with disinterest.

He pretended he didn't notice his uncle's small sigh and that expression that always seemed to show veiled compassion whenever the kid wouldn't comply.

Janus thought that Remus was a wonderful child, probably the strongest one he'd ever met, there was nothing he was not grateful for when it came to him: only a couple of years had passed from Angy's death, along with his father leaving him behind right after, and there wasn't a day in which he had let himself feel defeated.

After all, Janus had realized that he was the one to really need the other during that period.

Yet there was that one little detail Remus couldn't get himself behind, which was the need to lie your body down and prepare yourself for the following day. He could struggle all he wanted, but there was no way for either of them to find a solution.

Until Janus posed that fateful question in his mind: what would Angy do in this situation?

He raised his eyebrows as the best option surfaced.

Remus watched him tap his finger on his chin, looking around the room for a seat until he brought one in himself, placing it next to the bed the eight-year-old was now sitting on.

Anguis Hydra had been a shooting star in the sky and a writer on Earth when she fell along with her brother, and if there was something her brother knew best was that the finest solution to any problem she had found was storytelling.

Her readers had given her the nickname of “Angst Hydra”, for how much pain they felt thanks to her books.

Little did they know the stories were real: stories based off of other stars encounters they had had during their travels, her memory her sharpest tool.

« Did Angy ever tell you about the most luminous star you can see from the Earth's sky? »

Janus saw Remus's little eyebrows furrow, sign of a notion that was new to him. He brought his legs to his chest as he leaned on his pillow.

« It's actually a binary system, which is composed of two stars orbiting around each other. »

« Is it the … Sirius system? » Remus seemed to recall, his eyes narrowed in uncertainty.

Janus nodded. « Good job. So, all earthlings know about them is astronomical details, the usual research stuff, right? »

The kid made an agreement noise, curious to where that was gonna land.

« They call them Sirius A and B, but as you may expect there's a lot more into it. » he leaned in, his voice barely above a whisper. « Your mum and I had the occasion to meet them and witness their life events. » he could already notice the excitement growing in Remus's eyes. « So, want to listen to their fairytale? »

« Will there be chaos? »

« You have no idea. » both of them grinned as the kid settled in the only right way he knew: wrapping himself up in a blanket burrito and using his pillow as a seat.

« I'm ready! »

« Keep in mind that it's a long story, so we won't be able to cover all of it tonight, alright? »

Remus nodded despite defeated; Janus, on the other hand, knew that if he managed to get him hooked on the tale, he could have made his nephew look forward to bedtime and made things relatively easier.

A win-win situation.

The man turned off the room's lights only to switch on the bedside lamp with green LEDs.

« Alright little duke. » he moved in a comfortable position. « It's time for you to learn of the dance of the stars during the sunset, the moment the sun and the moon meet to leave each other's place to one another. »

Remus had never heard of such a thing, it was a simple tradition his mother and his uncle never took part of as their star selves happened to be constantly moving around with no time for grand events.

« But let's start from the beginning: let me introduce you to our beloved protagonists. »

✾✾✾✾

There were two notions stars were born with: the concept of the moon and the one of the sun.

They were aware there were multiple ones depending on which solar system they were close to, which planet they were taking into account.

But if there was a third piece of knowledge Virgil was certain of, it was that ever since he'd seen him from his little spot, he had been in love with the sun.

Such a titanic star shielding his own much smaller one.

When he was little, he'd look up at the sun and find a hero, a role model he had always been eager to follow: now, whenever he did that, he longed for contact and the revelation of his gorgeous self he wasn't yet able to meet from afar.

Casual passerby stars or nebulae narrated their encounters with the sun, encounters of which Virgil only grew jealous.

His admiration could only grow as much as he couldn't even fathom the grandiosity of those meetings, as he still wondered what was the intensity with which the sun's eyes glowed, the warmth of his protection and his benevolence.

« You want me to tell you about Emile, little one? » Patton was one of those nebulae that had been already circulating for a while and were old enough to attend a very important event that a myriad of stars took part in.

He hadn't quite realized why Virgil was so eager to meet the sun, but hadn't questioned it once since he'd met him.

« Well there are quite a few tales I can tell you about him! »

And so he did and Virgil found himself hanging onto every single word that escaped the other's mouth.

The little star could do nothing but wait for more stories as he grew along the space around him, hoping that maybe one day his orbit would find him.

Everything was going to change once he'd reached stability and joined the

Sunset's Ball.

✾✾✾✾

« The what? » Remus's sleepy eyes questioned Janus.

« One thing at a time, Rem. » the adult brushed some locks from Remus's forehead. « I'll get there later. But first, there's someone else you need to acknowledge. »

✾✾✾✾

Roman had always been aware of his star title: Sirius A. Thanks to that, he had also always known how he was part of a binary system.

Ever since then, he had been more than eager to meet the other star of his system, dreaming of one day finally finding a friend in them, like he had found in Patton, who would always bring news of Virgil.

He had learnt his name thanks to the nebula and mentioned it in his thoughts and conversations like he was a lifelong friend.

Roman's star was bigger and brighter than Sirius B, greatly shielding its vision.

He felt lonely during his growth and stabilization, anyone would have been intimidated by his star dimensions, therefore the visits paid to him were far less than the ones reserved for Virgil.

Yet he would spend his days trying to get someone's attention and, eventually, he'd stop to look down at the other star and wonder when their meeting would come.

Would it come at all?

Star dances were commonly known, but many happened during the day, so one wouldn't be sure of who they were going to end up with until their very first Ball.

That type of dance was the only one performed by stars, it occurred daily and it was a celebration of either sunset or sunrise, the moments in which the Sun and the Moon met and exchanged greetings, only to swap places with each other.

Only the most important stars could participate, once  stability was reached and they were certain that they would've caused no harm to others: the floating palace in which they took place had been the same for millennia and not a single wrong move had been done to endanger it, it had now become a pillar in their history.

Reaching that place was kind of a rite of passage for the stars and proof of respectability for Roman since, compared to the Sun, he and some other stars were far bigger.

Yet, humans had praised the Moon and his partner as actual gods in various religions and cultures, along with other planets they had acknowledged.

So the bigger celestial objects resonated that their importance still varied and wasn't related to how they presented, but rather to who they were, thus they learnt to stand their ground.

And even so, Roman's true goal had always been a different one.

He was going to meet Virgil, one way or another.

✾✾✾✾

Remus's head hit his uncle's arm lightly, a tiny bump against Janus's sleeve; the man took a break from his storytelling after noticing that the boy's eyes were closed, having finally resigned to the heaviness of sleep, smiled to himself and tucked his nephew in bed.

He followed his nightly routine as well which consisted of watching tv until he passed out and woke up way too early for his schedule, only to go back to sleep in his room for a couple more hours.

If only that night had gone exactly like that.

Janus had touched his mattress at around the same indecent time he did normally and fallen asleep minutes after.

Flashes happened and now hands were on his face, twisted and disappeared, turning into a pair of green eyes that were looking fondly at another woman. They laughed and held hands and he had a knot in his stomach as he hugged him a little too tightly. And Janus was breathing, then not, then sobbing, then he knew her happiness came first because the world was so cruel to him. Then Janus smiled, then he didn't, he held his breath as she stopped altogether and then the green-eyed man left. And he?

He woke up.

Barely three hours had passed and he was already sitting up, hugging himself and resting his face on his knees, his expression contorted in a multitude of unpleasantries.

That was not possible.

He was over that, he was over him, there was no need for his subconscious to resurface the majority of his life's regrets so far.

There was definitely no need to remember, to say the least.

What he was gonna do now was going back to sleep and never think about that dream ever again.

Of course, he actually laid awake to stare at the ceiling blankly until his alarm went off, which he turned off automatically, solely moving his arm.

He had looked into the mirror once he had gotten to his bathroom and forced a smile on, but the usual sparkles stars emanated when happy didn't surround his skin.

When he had gotten Remus to school, the kid had pointed out how darker his eye-bags had become lately.

« Can I get matching ones? »

« No, lil duke, better not. » you're gonna end up like this eventually as an adult.

Janus was sick of the constant pitiful glances he got from his co-workers when he had a bad day, the whispers they passed between each other, the fake respectability they kept when he was in a low mood.

None of them personally knew Janus on a close level.

So, as he thought, none of them could have felt entitled to initiate a conversation on a low-key personal topic.

Yet, there a man was, sliding a card on his desk.

« He's a good therapist, I've heard. If you … you know, have any troubles or if your nephew- »

Not even a glance at the name and Janus's insides were revolting. « We don't need it. » a tight-lipped smile set on his face. « Thank you anyway. »

The man almost ran away at that, embarrassed and frantically looking back at his own work position.

Janus took the card in his hands.

Those same innocent and achingly beautiful green eyes stared back at him; Clyde Davis had been his brother in law for as long as Anguis had been alive, once on Earth.

He didn't mean for his memories to overcome him yet again, but here he was, almost blinded near the day of the death's anniversary.

His eyes fixated on the nothingness right above the floor as thoughts flew by his mind: Angy and him had just fallen on Earth, somehow adjusting to the humans' costumes in no time.

They had some slip-ups when it came to ethics and morality, that was why when it came to the realization of feelings the two brothers had different experiences.

Who would've thought humans were so idiotic to banish certain natural forms of love such as the ones not stereotypically between a man and a woman? (the issues on gender identity and sex were also introduced to them on that planet, as stars lacked the concept despite their anthropomorphic forms)

Who would've thought Janus had to find out from the news right after realizing he had gotten a crush for the same man his sister had fallen in love with?

Sure, it was easier to let her happiness come first that way, but it didn't mean his feelings were hurting any less.

If anything, he was constantly mixing joy and guilt, some sort of bittersweet ending that didn't sit right with his emotions, but it did with his conscience.

Wrong wasn't how he felt at Anguis and Clyde's wedding, but maybe more relieved as he was sure that way his love could've dissipated.

At least he hoped so, especially since he was going to live alone from then on.

He thought distance had worked, but then Remus happened and he visited more often than ever, especially since the boy resembles the two people he loved the most.

The circumstances didn't help him, but he had learnt to disguise how he felt better.

Janus thought nothing could've shattered that nice picture.

And then Anguis fell ill.

Some kind of immunodeficiency, a state that saw her body shut down as a star that slowly died and stopped lighting up the night sky.

He had seen her eyes turn black, he had known all along what it meant, but he did not want to accept it. Only deny it to himself as he was now living at her place, helping out when he could.

When the fatal day occurred, Janus, Clyde and Remus were standing by her as her skin got almost colder than the bed she was in.

It hadn't sparkled in too long.

She knew what was going on, she had intimated them to say goodbye as much as they didn't want to; she looked unfairly defeated.

As the time struck, her body stiffened and everything left of her was stardust that emanated its final glow.

Janus's memory had blocked out everything that came after, especially the funeral.

Of course, he couldn't have forgotten the day Clyde came to him, his eyes now dull and distant, He wanted to leave, start a new life and leave behind everything else because he could not bear to look at Remus or him and be reminded of Anguis.

Clyde asked him to take Remus's custody and for the first time Janus had wanted to punch his face rather than kiss him.

But he had instead accepted, not out of empathy, but because he had become so lost that he wasn't sure his reality was so truthful anymore.

Remus had been a blessing, saving him from negativity more than he could with himself. He was a wonder, that kid.

Janus had zoned out for so long that he came back to Earth only as he was sitting on an armchair at home, while his nephew played with some toys right behind him.

« Hey. Did you know you're a wonderful kid? »

« I thought that was obvious. Also, gross, I'd rather be called stinky! » he hadn't even looked up from his creation.

Janus snorted. « Of course. » he made to get up and make dinner.

Later in the evening, Remus had climbed onto the counter and stared at Janus, who was leaning against the furniture while drinking some warm tea.

« I'm going to the astronomy museum tomorrow! »

« I know. »

« Don't you think it's time for a story then? »

The man giggled. « Are you bribing me? »

« You've been brooding all day, uncle! » he jumped back down, and hugged his waist only to pull him out of the kitchen.

Janus did his best not to stumble. « Alright, alright, we need some time-out time. » he picked his nephew up and in a minute they were settled for their storytelling.

« So- »

« Did dad show up? »

He fell silent, baffled by the sudden question. He gave Remus a puzzled look.

« You always act absent when something related to him happens. » the kid explained.

Who gave an eight-year-old the right to be that smart?

Janus opened and closed his mouth several times. « Well- Not exactly. » he scratched the back of his neck. « They talked about him. I think I might have gotten … triggered? » he wasn't sure whether or not that was the right term to use. But he did feel numb for the majority of the day, despite the flashbacks.

« Well, fuck him. »

« Rem- »

« No, fuck that guy. » Remus raised his voice more, but Janus didn't find it in himself to stop him. « he just dropped his burdens on you and left like a coward! Fuck that bullshit! » his face was red with anger.

« I know. But dear, you're not a burden. »

« I don't even care if I am for him. »

« Let me finish. » Janus used the calmest tone possible to balance out the other's upset. « As much as you don't agree with what he's done, you have to remember everyone's got their own way to cope. »

He sighed, eyes fixed to the floor. « In his case, he could've probably been a bad parent for you and decided to trust you with me rather than himself. He knows I love you just as much, so he wanted you to be in a certainly safe environment. »

Remus wasn't still entirely convinced.

« The thing is, he feared not being able to raise you the way you deserve. You still have all the right to be angry at him, of course. But you need to know that you didn't do anything bad for this all to happen, okay? »

The kid bit the inside of his mouth. « Yeah, I know. You've told me plenty of times. »

« Repetita iuvant. And honestly you've been of help more than he would imagine, so … yeah fuck him. »

The duo snickered and gave each other a matching mischievous glance.

« But seriously, no swearing like a sailor until you're older, okay? At least not in front of other adults, you know how they get easily impressed. »

« Ugh, they never let me do anything fun. »

« Capitalism. »

« What? »

« Nothing, let's carry on with the story. Tonight, Virgil and Roman are going to finally meet. »

✾✾✾✾

Roman was ecstatic.

He had been accompanied by Patton and they had now made their entrance in the ballroom.

The space looked fancy and highly decorated, white, gold and blue themes coloured every object, glistening with a bit of purple here and there. It felt like being in the gods' lair, high columns sustained a roof for a space much bigger than its guests.

A pompous environment that suggested any trait related to space and stars.

Everyone was dressed up for the occasion, he felt like he was in the middle of one of those royal dances humans had to entertain themselves.

They all had a mask covering part of their face; it was a way of respecting the Sun and Moon as they had yet to arrive and would wear it as well until they took it off alongside everyone.

Clothes and masks were pretty much the same for everyone, changing based on the type of star you were, only the colours changed for everybody.

Roman was wearing crimson items; they often recalled the color of a star's eyes, like his case.

« Feeling nervous? » Patton was leading him toward their designated spot, he had previously offered his arm to Roman after showing off his sky-blue outfit.

« Kind of. Don't wanna mess up. But also what if they're not here? » Roman was already pulling at the hem of his sleeve.

« I'm sure they are. Normally binary systems are put together. I'll help you search! » Patton gave a warming smile that ushered the other not to worry too much.

« Should I go find a dance partner? » there was literally no etiquette to follow until the two main protagonists arrived.

The nebula noticed the initial discomfort in him. « That, or you can stay with me for now. »

Roman was about to reply in gratitude when he saw everyone move to the centre of the room, where he got by taking Patton's hand.

Alright, here we go.

The first part of the dance had the stars already dancing around the room while waiting; none told Roman there would have been partner changes.

He and Patton had just turned, their backs facing, when suddenly his hand touched another one and there he was spinning slowly with a stranger.

Roman had a pair of purple irises fixed in his own, on a stoic face they were decorating, his head slightly tilted.

« Hi. » he had tried, but he only saw the star's eyes look down, ignoring his greeting.

That made Roman feel defeated, little did he know the stranger's goal was another and that he couldn't lose time on uneventful conversation.

One of each star's hand was intertwined with the others'.

Should have Roman been stoic as well? Could they talk during the event? Was he being judged by the other guy?

Still, after seemingly searching into Roman for some sort of hint, the other star kept looking behind his shoulders, especially on the front door, which was decorated with complicated bass-relief motives.

Was he more interested into the room's details than meeting new people?

Roman glanced around for clues and his eyes met smiling and chatting couples, giving him the impression that he had been doing something wrong.

Until he met Patton's look again and he noticed the signals he was giving him.

“It's him”, his lips mouthed and it finally hit Roman when Patton motioned towards the other with his eyes.

Roman blinked in bewilderment and turned back to his partner only to see him let go of his hand, his back already facing him, without a single chance for him to speak some last words.

His focus shifted again when a different light glowed into the room, he heard the door starting to open and everyone was pushed at both opposite sides of the room.

A path was now created, like a little temporary corridor.

Finally, from either door, two figures started walking down the path, making it very clear on their identity: the Sun and Moon had made their entrance.

Gold and silver shining like they were the only things in existence, the two met halfway and joined hands, making the whole audience restart their own dance.

Roman's companion had changed and it was now a lady part of a system, her name was Zeta, but he couldn't help but think back at how close he had been to his discovery.

Everytime he caught a glimpse of him, he lost it, happening so often that Roman had been closer to interact with the Moon instead.

Patton had told him his name was Remy, while the Sun's was Emile and they were part of a particular solar system which contained planets such as Jupiter, Mars, or his favourite, Saturn.

He had also been told there were rumors behind the two's different clothing; Emile was rumored to wear gloves so he could protect others from his burning touch, while Remy was never seen without his sunglasses, probably because he would have gone severely injured if he had directly looked at the Sun.

Busying himself with the search for his system's second star, he almost didn't notice it when people started scattering and some went back to chatting.

Emile and Remy took off their masks alongside everyone and respectively put on glasses and sunglasses.

« Hey there! »

Roman turned. « Holy stars, Patton! I can't believe I almost had him. »

« Well, at least you know he's here now, right? » the nebula started looking around from his spot to search for Virgil again.

« Yeah, I hope it'll be easier to- »

« Found him. » Patton pointed at a few feet next to them, where their object of interest was sitting, attentively staring at something or someone.

Roman felt something in his chest click as soon as he was able to see his face clearly: he didn't know how to describe it, but he loved and absolutely loathed it at the same time.

He realized he had been holding his breath only after he deeply exhaled, making Patton raise an eyebrow.

« Are you going to say hello, or …? »

That was not ideal.

That was actually utterly terrible, how he felt drawn to the other and yet terrified at the same time, the intensity making it a seemingly impossible goal.

Despite the other being the infinitely smaller star, Roman was in awe, like he couldn't compare to him in any sort of way; the aura he gave off was too strong, so much that he seemed to know the secrets of the universe before anyone else.

Roman couldn't explain it, but he had to talk to him or else he would've probably combusted.

What had gotten into him? Did the realization of actually having the possibility of making friends with the other half of his binary system just hit him? … Would the other really agree to such a friendship?

He was afraid to answer that. They barely knew each other, anyway.

Roman started approaching him and felt his legs as heavy as lead, his tongue tied and all the conversations that he had prepared basically gone from his mind.

So many years of longing for this meeting only for it to go into shambles.

Yet, there he was, at last standing next to him.

« Greetings, the name's Roman. » he achieved a single apparently annoyed glance. He looked still … in search of something. « I was wondering whether you were the star entitled as Sirius B. »

Roman finally got a reaction out of him, a slick turn of the head in an impressed expression. « How would you know that? »

Roman grinned and moved one hand from behind his back. « Well, you see, » he started, theatrically bowing down just that necessary to still look him in the eyes. « It just so happens that I am Sirius A. »

✾✾✾✾

Janus was mimicking Roman's gesture as Remus watched in awe.

« Who knows what Virgil will say? »

« Hold it- What do you mean? » Remus sluggishly said with his cheek pressed against the pillow.

« I mean that it's late and you should rest before your little school trip, alright? »

The kid didn't look very convinced.

Janus tried again. « Also, I'm going to give you a mission for tomorrow. »

Remus's eyes lit up again. « What is it? »

« You're going to have to find the stars I've been telling you about. There's going to be a dark room full of projections; it's gonna be fun. »

His nephew let out a “Ooh” of understanding and admiration, already picturing what it could have looked like.

« Come on now, » Janus helped him set into bed and kissed his forehead, at which, like any other night, Remus commented with a “gross” and wiped at his skin.

It was their little routine before Janus himself started preparing for the night.

He was pacing around the living room when he could have sworn he had heard something moving right outside of his apartment's door; he stood there for a second, simply staring at the doorknob, expecting it to twist at any second.

Nothing came through and thus he went to sleep.

He really needed a relaxing bath first.

Janus knew something had been off as soon as he had woken up; the uneasiness from the night before still lingered, pressing down on his stomach.

He could not deal with this.

It was six a.m. again and he was staring at the cupboard in the bathroom.

No, it was fine. He was fine, he could do it on his own.

He breathed deeply and exited the room only to find a perky Remus already up and excited for his trip.

The kid smiled up at him. « Is breakfast ready yet? »

Janus forgot all about how he had woken up.

Merely an hour and a half later, Remus had been dropped off at the school bus after making sure he had everything he needed and that he was under the supervision of all the class' teachers.

He was still going up the stairs of the condominium, when he noticed a figure fidgeting and standing by his door.

Brown curls, green eyes and still impossibly gorgeous.

Janus's stomach did a triple flip and he didn't know if it was for delight or bitterness. Of course, his mind blanked as soon as Clyde acknowledged him.

« Hey, J. » the tone was unsure.

None had been allowed to call him that in years.

« It's been a while … »

« Indeed. » he responded sternly, almost petrified as he waited for the other to state the reason for his visit.

« Uhm, I … needed to get a thing I left here. »

« Here. »

« Yeah. »

Clyde was trying his best not to make everything awkward, but Janus was making it godawfully impossible.

The star didn't talk any further and simply turned the keys to unlock the door, stepping in and aside to let the other enter.

« Get what you need and leave. » he didn't make eye contact, or else he would have been fucked.

A distraction.

Janus went into the kitchen, busying himself with getting things ready for lunch, while Clyde headed for Remus's room; there was a photo album he needed to get after all, there was no way Remus would have wanted to keep pictures of a dad that had given up on him.

He picked up the album and turned the first couple of pages. Then more and more.

Remus had cut out Clyde's face from any picture in which he had appeared.

It was a hit to his heart, a well deserved one, but a hit nonetheless; he put the album back and headed for the door, but something pulled him back to Janus.

The star eyed him warily.

« Did you get it? »

« Not really, but- I figured it doesn't matter anymore. »

Janus made an uninterested noise without looking back up at him.

« If there's anything- »

« We don't need your help. »

Clyde's eyes fell to the floor, but he insisted and came closer to the other, standing at his side.

« I know it's kind of hypocritical but were you to find yourself in a difficult situation- »

« Hypocritical? » Janus scoffed, finally turning to him and glaring at him.

He wanted to drown.

« The only time my situation becomes difficult is when you are around. » he could feel his insides heating up.

« Listen I know you hate me now- »

Oh, was that guilt tripping? That was guilt tripping.

« That's the issue. Everytime I see you, I get reminded of the fact that I just … I don't actually hate you and it sucks, so please leave. » he felt like he was on the verge of either tears or a crisis out of exasperation.

« Janus … » Clyde dared to lift a hand as the other tried to focus back on cooking.

« Don't touch me. »

« Listen. » the man took Janus's wrist anyway with the sole purpose of trying to put some sense into him.

Janus tried to wiggle free from his grip. « I said- » until … « Ugh! » he did.

But his hand had jerked back right onto his cheek, causing the knife he was holding to leave a deep cut through his eye and cheek.

He dropped everything and held his head as a luminous substance flowed out of his cut.

Star's blood.

« Oh my- Oh god, I- »

« Get out! » he yelled one last time and could only hear Clyde's steps as he hurried away from him.

Now there was something interesting about stars: they had a really peculiar way of healing, so much that hospitals wouldn't understand their ways. So Janus ought to help himself.

He quickly washed the blood out of his hands and ran into his room before he could pass out, closed the windows and turned every light off.

By memory he found the little box he had hidden in the bedside table, a secret drawer.

He opened it and a blinding light illuminated the room. That was the light that belonged to him as a star; once you disguise yourself as a human you get to keep it in case of emergencies.

Janus felt heat coming back to his body and pain retreating from his brain.

When he closed it everything felt normal again, despite the tiredness from what had just happened.

Then he looked in the mirror.

A terrible scar ran from above his eyebrow, down his eye and onto his cheek, still so fresh and yet … It looked like a childhood one. And he could still perfectly see.

He didn't want to deal with that right then: he went back to work on his meal and decided on a relaxation day as he didn't have work and really needed a rest.

All he wanted to do was scream and probably cry, but he decided on staring at the ceiling from the living room's couch.

By the time he woke up, he had to go pick up Remus from the school trip, which now required him to put on concealer on his face.

His nephew didn't mention anything about it around others.

But he wasn't certainly stupid.

Once in the car, he spoke up. « What happened to your face? »

« Can't a man wear make-up? »

« Yes, but you've never done It before. And you're not in love so there's none to make yourself pretty for. »

« Ouch, now I'm not pretty? » Janus chuckled.

Remus pointed a finger at him. « You're insecure! »

When will children stop being so brutally honest?

Once home, Janus went straight for the bathroom to wipe the concealer away. « You see, little duke, » he called from there. « Sometimes you don't want to explain things. Sometimes you can't. » he then went back to him and showed his scar.

« What happened? »

« An accident. I recovered quickly with some remaining starry powers. »

The kid seemed to accept it, despite being skeptical.

« Can I get one too? I want to be like a dragon! »

« Dragons don't have scars, kid. » Janus tilted his head.

« They do! It's written in books, they have them all over their bodies. »

« Sweetie, those are scales. »

Remus considered for a second, his eyes fixated on a random spot.

« Uncle, I think my life is a lie. »

Janus finally laughed for real and they decided to leave the corridor for the more important conversation to happen in the living room; the kid started going on about the astronomy museum and all its wonders.

« And then there was that big constellations projector like you mentioned and it was beautiful. » Remus mimicked how he would've showed him in the room, as if the projections were in their apartment. « The scientist knew everything about them, he answered every question, uncle Jee I want to go back! »

Janus smiled the entire time, especially at how his nephew was now looking at him with literal sparkles in his eyes.

« Your birthday is around, isn't it? We could go back then. »

The kid started jumping around in excitement. « I want to visit everyday! I could sell lemonade like they do in cartoons and pay my ticket everyday! »

He giggled, while Remus kept coming up with different ways to assist himself. « I don't think that's likely, but we could visit often if that's what you'd like. »

« But Logan … » the other murmured sadly. « The star man ... »

Janus theatrically scoffed. « Excuse you, am I not enough of a star human myself? »

Remus stuck his tongue out at him and started running around the room only to flee from his uncle's vision in order for him to try and chase him; Janus sighed in a “not this again” manner and walked towards his general direction.

The scar had already been long forgotten.

✾✾✾✾

After days of non stop talking about that one astronomer and the museum, Remus's birthday finally came around.

It didn't seem such a peculiar or important day for that same one astronomer the kid kept talking about, the intelligent and cool one that he wanted to celebrate with.

Logan was walking up the stairs to the museum, his beloved workplace he wouldn't have traded for any kind of amount of gold.

Thankfully, its location had been accessible to a great number of tourists and curious citizens ever since it had been founded, so that every worker could be easily secured in their position.

He waved at his colleagues as he headed to his little office where he often stayed late to do research along side other devoted astronomers; his afternoon shift was about to start, right on time to run through a couple of papers of the previous night before meeting his first group of the day.

Being a tour guide around a museum whilst assisting in astronomy research all the while had its perks and downsides.

Mostly for Logan, it was his insatiable need to let every single thought that ran in his mind directly out for others to hear and obtain as information. It had always been hard as a teenager, especially during high-school.

It wasn't that he studied irregularly – well, maybe sometimes – but he, unlike the majority of his classmates, had to do extra work on training his speech method. The bits of info that stuck to his head while he studied were far too many and growing with each passing test, which made it harder to form connected sentences.

Talking was even worse than writing, he had no time to re-formulate what he had said a minute earlier, he couldn't go back to check what was his initial point, making his oral tests a complete mess.

Despite this, knowing what he wanted to do in his life in the long run, he kept practicing, finding great treasure in info-dumping people about his special interests.

Getting to discuss this kind of matter with university colleagues was a far better help than feeling like you were talking to a wall when your interlocutor kept nodding and smiling, clearly ignorant of whatever you were talking about.

It had also helped to understand how exactly you should modulate your speech depending on the audience, making it all a perfect experience for a soon-to-be guide.

Logan left the room and finally met his momentary students, ready to prepare their minds for the bliss of knowledge.

He briefly glanced through them, multiple people all different from one another, proving the world that education could be for anybody; he moved through different topics with ease, basically dancing between different rooms as he caught glimpses of other interested visitors, such as curious middle schoolers, or a man with bright yellow gloves talking softly to a small excited kid next to him.

It was his place, he felt at home, that strange and rare belonging sentiment.

The satisfaction of leaving the last group of people whose minds wandered in the deepest parts of space, now devoid of questions.

Who he didn't expect to still be wandering around the various exhibits hours after their entrance was that same man with yellow gloves and … supposedly his kid?

Logan leaned on the wall of the room's entrance, still out of sight, trying to catch what kind of conversation might have kept them around for so long.

Not much to his surprise, he heard the man talk of stars with an impressive accuracy, pointing up at the big white and blue projector.

It felt like he had met them personally and conversed with them.

He found himself smiling involuntary as he recognized his own enthusiasm in the boy.

And then …

« It's almost closing time, so, are you ready to hear what Virgil had to say? »

Remus's eyes lit up impossibly more and yelled a convinced “yeah!” before sitting on his uncle's lap and pointing up towards the binary-star Sirius.

« There. »

… he was brought elsewhere.

✾✾✾✾

Virgil always thought they'd have looked the same.

Either some sort of twins or really similar, differently aged bodies, something as weird as that.

Now a gleaming figure stood before him, completely different from how he had imagined him, so much that he almost distrusted that information.

« Patton told me about you. » Roman added later, as if he had just read his mind.

After the initial awkwardness, noticing the blunt disinterest, he tried again.

« So, what would be the name of my system companion? »

The other star raised an eyebrow at the unusual title and looked away before he could respond, making his answer muffled by the music echoing in the room.

« Virgil. »

« Well then, a pleasure being your friend then, Virgil. »

That finally got a reaction out of him, as the smaller star snorted sarcastically. « I don't really think meeting one time is what it takes to be someone's friend, Roman. »

He laughed lightly. « My apologies, I don't actually know how it works, » still with a smile on, he looked down. « I don't really have friends. »

And there it was, something Roman had never seen before, but that he could've caught on Patton's expression sometimes, briefly.

The pitiful glance he would've learnt to recognize.

« Oh. » was all Virgil mustered to say. He had never faced that kind of situation.

« It's the big and terrifying thing, or some envy of sorts, I'm not sure … But I still have Patton! » Roman concluded, bright as before. « And it's also why I've been eager to meet you since I got to know about you. »

Virgil tilted his head as he quickly glanced between him and the dancing couples.

« Did he tell you about me? »

« A little. He wanted it to be more of a surprise for both of us, he was as excited as I was! »

Unlike you, it seems.

Roman frowned and brushed off the clear indifference of the other, instead trying to find common ground.

« Would you like to dance? »

Virgil finally looked at him properly, but it was as though he was trying to make a tough choice, whether that was a useful option to his goal, the same way he did the first time they met. His hand moved and almost reached Roman's, but hesitation got the best of him, his eyebrows furrowed, arm almost shaking.

Roman didn't understand; what was the issue? They had danced earlier. What was so different about it now?

« I- »

They were interrupted by a swarm of people coming their way, clearing up a path for the Sun and Moon to return back to their respective places, outside of the palace.

Which meant it was time for everyone to part ways.

« … I will go. »

And just like that, he was gone.

Roman repeated the events in his mind once he got back, immediately requesting Patton's presence. Just what in the planets had he just witnessed? There was nothing of the sweetness he'd fantasized about, nothing about introducing each other like old friends, nothing of that electric buzz in your chest, the one that makes you so sure that you do belong exactly where you are.

All he felt was dread, awkwardness and uncomfortable silence, loss of words. Stupidity.

That's what he was, so ingenuous to think both of them would've been happy to find each other at last.

Had Virgil ever even cared about all of this? Did Roman simply impose his dreams on the other?

« So that I'm sure I did not hallucinate, » the star huffed, an arm over his eyes as he laid down. « I did meet him. »

« That you did. » Patton said, sounding more certain than Roman himself.

« And … »

« And? »

« It sucked. » he got up. « We barely even talked! My mind was racing and going blank from agitation and he didn't even try to interact with me, Patton. He obviously doesn't want to be my friend! He definitely thinks I'm annoying at this rate. »

« Hey there, little sparkle, slow down with the all too quick affirmations now. » Patton's form outside of the palace made him almost look like he had wings for arms. « You see, we're not all the same. You met me, and I'm very energetic and mostly aligning with your extravagant character- »

« You think I'm extravagant? » Roman let in some fake disbelief.

Patton chuckled. « In the best way possible! What I mean is, it's easy for us to get along, but Virgil is pretty much the opposite of you, which makes it a bit difficult to immediately get along. You only need to give it some more time. »

The binary-star did feel reassured with his words.

Not completely, though they made sense, yet there was always something in the back  of his mind that made him doubt those kind of words. The nebula could tell everytime Roman grimaced for seemingly no reason.

« Are you … » Roman calculated his words. Surely he didn't want to appear more doubtful than he was after his “defeat” at the ball earlier. « Are you sure it's not … »

« Roman, believe me, he'd be the last to care about the fact that you're … » he scrambled for examples. « A bigger star than the sun itself! Star systems share a deep intrinsic bond. Just go at his pace, he might only be distraught. »

« I heard someone talk about big stars. » a voice called over their shoulders. « So I couldn't help but stop by. »

A feminine body loomed before them, familiar almost spirited eyes checked Roman out from afar, until she was close enough to inspect both of them.

« Zeta. » Sirio-A called out unenthusiastically. « What brings you here? »

« Didn't see you dancing. Was wondering what kind of unforeseen event kept you from shining your true beauty upon those little kids. » they grinned. « But I see you're already hooked up. »

« Patton's always been a friend. » he replied in annoyance.

« I don't really do romances, thank you! » Patton offered right after with a bright smile.

« Oh. I apologize for assuming. » she said, before composing herself « Anyway,  I'd appreciate it if you came to chat with me and Canopus instead of running around in search of a random dude. »

Zeta Ophiuchi had always been … an eccentric type of star, basking under the knowledge that she, Roman and Canopus were the brightest ones of the night sky.

She managed to enthrall Canopus in her own thinking, since the latter showed a less strong character than her friend; Roman, though? He'd never really been eager to feed the fire of greatness.

He had come to terms with the fact that all those acts of superiority didn't matter, since nothing really changed in their hierarchy.

« Why do you guys insist on keeping your title as names instead of choosing your own? » he derailed from the conversation.

« A little nosy, aren't we today? »

« Says the one who barged in uninvited. »

Zeta chuckled. « Touché. » she sighed afterwards. « It's because we want to stay true to our origin, partly because it also gives you a grip on your essence, your reality. It's empowering, Sirius. » she put much more emphasis on Roman's title.

He hated it with a burning passion.

Zeta lowered down at his eye-level. « Don't you think? » he wanted to wipe her grin away with a single death glare.

Patton muttered a “not again” under his breath; that occasion happened at least once a month, Zeta would pick at Roman's most sensitive spots and try to get past the thick walls he placed between himself and his insecurities.

« Well it's been a nice sunset! Why don't we go before it gets too dangerous for you to stay away from Ophiuchus, Zeta? »

She stared intently at Roman for a while longer before turning to the nebula and offering a fake smile and a nod. « Of course, Seagull. »

He breathed deeply, then waved sadly at his friend as Zeta followed quickly behind.

Roman understood how she and Canopus had been admitted to the same group as his, yet at the same time he couldn't believe how he had to deal with Zeta's teasing even in the palace.

Working towards his goal was going to be harder than he thought.

✾✾✾✾

« Zeta's a bitch! » Remus abruptly commented, causing his uncle's sudden laughter. « I like her. »

Janus tried to gain his breath back. « Yeah- » he chuckled. « She's going to be rather interesting in the future. »

« Well that was quite the story. »

His eyes widened and he turned towards the entrance of the projector room: there stood a man, probably around his age, with the usual formal outfits and the museum worker plate stuck to his shirt.

« I'm so sorry I- »

« Logan! » Remus sprinted to his feet and ran up the stranger like he was an old relative he loved and hadn't seen in ages.

So that was who Remus would always mention.

Janus walked up to them, trying to hide the embarrassment behind a polite smile. « Come on duke, we should get going now. »

« But he's the star man! »

Star man? Logan thought, low-key impressed.

« There's no need to rush actually. We'll be closing the exhibit rooms in an hour, but most of us tend to stay the night. » he smiled back, then looked down at the young boy. « How do you know my name? »

« I came here two weeks ago! » Remus excitedly said. « With school! There were two of you, you were the cool one. »

Logan recalled a school class and a co-worker helping out with timing.

« We came back for my birthday, but I thought you weren't here today. Can we celebrate together now? »

Janus let out a laugh between exasperation and amusement, then looked up at the astronomer. « He's grown fond of you. » he tried to explain.

« I can see that. » Logan crouched down to converse with Remus easily. « What would you want me to do? »

Never before an occasion like that one had occurred to him, plus an offer to spend time with people with his same interests other than his colleagues, thus less programmed to spit out information in any given situation, would have definitely been a breath of fresh air.

« Let's get ice cream. » Remus turned to his uncle. « Can we? »

Janus nodded. « If Logan is able to, I don't see why not. »

And Logan could afford leaving early every once in a while, so …

« Alright then, » he stepped aside from the entrance to let them exit. « I will let them know I'll be going out. » he pointed towards the offices and left.

About half an hour later, Remus was walking around the park, doing his best not to make the ice cream fall from his cone as he inspected all the bugs and insects he could find.

« I hope we're not wasting precious time. » Janus was walking alongside Logan not too far behind from Remus.

« Not at all. I have been actually told I could have used some free time every now and then. »

« Ah, are you the stay-in-late type? »

Logan moved his head from side to side in half agreement. « Sort of. It is mostly part of our job to carry on with research. You could say my work could be divided into day and night jobs. I do not mind it a single bit, to be fair. »

« Oh! » the star stopped dead in his tracks, realization hitting him, while the astronomer looked back at him, blinking in confusion. « How rude of me. » he extended his arm to the other. « My name is Janus Hydra. »

Logan gladly shook it. « Pleasure to be here then, Janus. »

The star smiled, then they went back to walking. « And the one who's trying to catch a butterfly is my nephew Remus. » he giggled as he watched the kid almost stick his cone into a tree.

« It was very thoughtful of you to bring him to the museum for his birthday. »

« Yes, well, he wouldn't stop mentioning it day and night. It would've been rude of me not to do so. »

Logan caught an odd detail in that sentence. « You live with him? » he asked, trying to be as cautious and considerate as possible.

Janus nodded and, for the first time, he wasn't asked why. He was silently grateful for, objectively, a stranger not trying to peer into his personal life as much as others would do.

« So, what about you? I haven't seen you around my workplace, yet you seem to be knowledgeable about stars. » he thought back at the moments in which he pointed up at the constellations with impeccable precision. « Is it a simple personal passion? »

« You could say that. It's something like a family thing. As you may have noticed, my surname comes from a constellation, by which I could deduce that probably one of my ancestors decided it was going to be our legacy. »

Logan could … honestly see that.

« Very peculiar. I can imagine the- »

« L, look! » Remus ran up to them with a butterfly in his hand. « Which one is this? »

Logan cupped one hand under his. « I suggest not to take it by the wings, » with the other, he instructed Remus to drop it gently on his palm. « Touching them damages them as it removes the material on them which permits butterflies to distinguish and disguise themselves. Furthermore, your risk to damage or even completely break the wings. They're pretty fragile. » the little insect walked up to his fingertip. « Here. » he offered as he gestured for Remus to carefully let the butterfly walk on from Logan's to his hand.

« This one is a Morpho Menelaus, also known as blue morpho. »

« I read they can drink from puddles. » the kid said as he lowered the insect next to one on the ground.

« That's true, they have a varied diet. Did you know some can drink blood as well? »

Remus jumped to his feet, a wide grin on his face. « They can?! »

Logan made a diverted expression at the difference between Remus's reaction and Janus's unpleasant disbelief.

« There's a moth species in Asia with this ability, if it pleases the butterfly of course, it's rare but not undone. »

Time seemed to dilate as Remus kept asking for more facts to the “cool man who seemed to know everything”, the small talk between the latter and Janus to slowly get to know each other more and the general pleasant aura made them forget it was almost time for dinner.

« Wait. » Remus, once again, caught everyone's attention. « What about my birthday gift from Logan? »

Janus wanted to intervene, but Logan seemed way ahead of him already.

« How inconsiderate of me, you are absolutely correct, I should have prepared for this important event. » he pretended to think about it. « How about you can come to the museum whenever you want without the need of a ticket? »

Remus beamed, that was the best t-

« No. »

And his heart skipped a beat for a moment. He turned to look at his uncle with disappointment, but Janus's glance was fixed on Logan's.

« I refuse to not support your job. We will pay, like any other visitor. »

« Let's make a deal, then. You can come whenever you'd like and stay later than closing time, while I get to hear the story you were telling earlier as well. »

That was entirely unexpected. What was so charming about events he had witnessed? It didn't sit completely right with him, but who was he to deny saving money for the sake of his nephew's happiness?

Janus looked down at Remus who had assumed the “cat with the boots” adorable pleading face.

« Alright, you win this one, but I still owe you. » he warned Logan.

« Completely fine with me. »

« Are you sure it's okay to do, still? »

The astronomer had no doubts. « I will find a way, no need to worry. I'll be expecting you two tomorrow? » he asked, tilting his head almost imperceptibly to the side.

The other two agreed to come say hi after Remus had been done with school and thus they parted ways.

As Janus drove home, he realized he hadn't felt the all too familiar dawning of anguish a single moment of the day.

Was that going to be the eagerly awaited turning point?

Ever since they started visiting the museum, Remus and Janus took their time to explore every room and all the documents the exhibit had to offer, which made it really effective to tire Remus out in anticipation of bedtime.

Thus, the storytelling would often get postponed, especially since they wanted Logan to also be present, though he had to run important experiments during the first few weeks. They so decided to change it from a bedtime story to “their thing”, under the faint light of a constellations projector.

A month had now passed since their first encounter, and they finally managed to all sit down together in the almost dark room.

« Here's an apology gift. » Logan pushed a box in front of Remus who immediately wrapped off the paper encasing it.

« Apology for what exactly? » Janus asked with an eyebrow raised. « You're already letting us stay here for free. » it had become like a second home at that point.

« I know, but I have been around very briefly and I had to sneak you in late to cut out some time for you. »

« We aren't expecting you to be here every single time, Logan, you work here … »

« And you're also forgiven! » Remus exclaimed showing the little glow-in-the-dark stars stickers he already couldn't wait to put up in his room.

Janus chuckled under his breath. « You still didn't have to. » he made himself comfortable against the room's wall.

« If everyone's ready, I shall begin. »

✾✾✾✾

Roman felt like Virgil had been missing for most of the sunset dances.

He hadn't caught a glimpse of him in weeks, he felt as if he had been playing hide and seek all this time; Patton told him not coming wasn't possible, like stars were literally just teleported fully dressed to the ballroom the second it begun.

He had also been pretty busy avoiding Zeta and Canopus – not that the latter was any threat to him, actually she would've been easily persuaded to not tell on his location – that time ran out before he could meet up with Virgil.

All hope had been lost as he laid against a column and turned away from the dancing couples.

And he saw Virgil, a few meters away, sitting on a marble sort of parapet like he was ready to jump on his feet and leave. He was surrounded by a lack of other stars.

« Hey there. » Roman waved from his spot and his system's partner turned to him with the quickest neck movement he'd ever seen.

He looked as tired as someone who'd been dancing around all night.

… trying to … avoid someone …

Okay, they were both tired as hell.

Virgil gave the most effortless wave he could muster.

« Haven't seen you lately. » Roman pointed out. « Still, would you sit down with me? I don't think I can handle standing a minute longer. »

« I concur. » Virgil responded, grateful.

They slid down to the floor in almost perfect synchrony, simply watching what was going on before them: Roman was able to catch Patton's eyes and smile at him.

« Remember when you said I'm not a good judge of what is and isn't a friendship? »

« Didn't phrase it like that, but sure. »

« Does someone who's constantly bothering you and generally poke at your limits seem like a friend? »

Virgil took a silent but deeper look at the other and noted in his mind how exasperated he sounded.

« That sounds more like someone's been annoying you non-stop. That's … not exactly friendship either. »

Roman sighed, trying not to spiral into hysteria by the end of the night; he could hear Zeta's imposing voice in every corner he tried to escape.

How to break into silence?

« What do you think about going to the balcony? »

Virgil didn't hate the idea, but worry got the best of him. « Isn't that section of the palace reserved to the Sun and Moon only? »

His acquaintance displayed a mischievous smile. « Not if we get back before anyone notices. » he pulled himself to his feet, offering his hand to the other confidently.

Virgil couldn't help but take it and venture into unexplored areas; the hallways decorations were pretty much the same, if not less sumptuous, of the ballroom. He watched as Roman pushed glass doors open and revealed a terrace with a view of the Earth's sunrise on the sky above them.

They must have been on the Sun's wing. He felt suddenly more agitated about his presence there.

« Finally, » Roman took large steps to the parapet and leaned on it, closing his eyes to the gentle breeze caressing his hair. « A moment of silence. »

Virgil mimicked him. « I hadn't felt this peaceful nothingness in a long while. »

The other opened one eye to give him a sideways look. « You have visitors? »

« People have been fussing over me for some reason ever since we made our debut here. »

That explained the ever tired look, the staying behind as stars danced and had fun, and especially the unwanted attention.

« They say they find me cute or whatever, only because I'm the smaller star in the binary system. It's … really annoying. Kind of offensive, if I can say. »

« Here we are, » Roman chuckled to himself. « Both socially exhausted because everybody's patronizing you, while I'm being picked at constantly. »

« It's our system's fatal flaw. » Virgil confessed dramatically, which made the other snort, surprised by the sudden burst of confidence with joking around him.

They spent some more minutes in silence, the music from the ballroom was barely audible, like they were slowly being taken away.

Neither of their situations were desirable, but Roman really could've used some positive attention every once in a while, instead of laying in the dreadful awaiting of being ridiculed, as whoever else passed by him tried not to make eye contact.

He didn't realize he had progressively lowered his head to rest on the parapet's rail, his eyes half-lidded. He dared to take a quick glance at Virgil, standing tall as he observed the morning sky: every movement of his purple irises looked like a stroke of a brush on an expensive painting.

There, he looked much bigger than the universe they were in, some sort of irony against his usual small perception, which caused other stars to nickname him as “the pup”.

Roman's face portrayed an amused smile as he imagined Virgil being one of Earth's small dogs he had been told about.

It quickly faltered though, as soon as he shook the thought away, the sorrowful reality of his loneliness hit him and he couldn't stop himself from murmuring his belief to the sunrise.

« I really have only one friend, huh? »

The quiet around made it possible for Virgil to hear clearly, so he turned and looked at him from above, pondering whether or not it was appropriate of him to console Roman in some way.

At the end of the day, they really were alike, as distinct as they still could appear.

« You can have me? Two isn't much higher than one, but it isn't as bad. »

Roman averted the sky to disperse his bewilderment directly into Virgil's eyes, all fluttery eyelids and raised eyebrows.

« That would be so much better. » Virgil was glad to be the cause of his smile for once. « Thank you, Virgil. »

« You can call me Virge. »

Roman started cooing mockingly. « Aw, you're opening up to me. »

« And already regretting it, thank you very much. »

The other genuinely laughed and his expression softened, letting silence set one more veil above them.

« I wish I could visit you. » Roman then said after admiring the landscape. « We'd make sleepovers along with Patton- »

« Stars don't sleep. »

Oh, damn it. They had gotten so lost in their conversation that they hadn't noticed the music fading out completely.

As they turned, they noticed Emile at the entrance of the terrace, a warm expression set on his face, some sort of understanding as he had his arms folded over himself and sparkles of light all around.

He wasn't hostile, yet he knew they didn't belong there. Still, he wasn't one to reprimand.

« You should hurry back, friends. » he suggested, leaving one of the two doors free for them to pass through.

The two quickly made their way towards the hallway, but for Virgil it felt like an eternity: the moment he locked eyes with the Sun, it was as though his body refused to acknowledge its own movements. He didn't realize Roman had been tugging him by the sleeve as Virgil walked right past Emile, never leaving his glance.

Roman turned back to him as they half-ran towards the ballroom, noticing Virgil still hadn't turned his head from the balcony's entrance.

« Are you alright? »

« Huh? » Virgil quickly moved to look forward and find Roman's curious face.

The bigger star noticed the glimmering lights on his cheeks: a common feature which meant a star was happy or feeling intense emotions.

He saw Roman furrow his eyes, like he was trying to connect the dots, but rapidly ignoring it as they had made their way through the ballroom.

This time, Roman had a different tale to tell Patton.

✾✾✾✾

« So- uh? »

As Janus had been stroking Remus's hair absentmindedly, he hadn't realized the kid's breath had been slowing down to an evenly repeated movement: as he looked down, he saw his nephew biting through his glove in his sleep.

« It really sounds like an effective bedtime story. » Logan commented as Janus carefully placed Remus's head on his shoulder. He helped him stand up without losing balance and they quietly made their way towards the exit and, subsequently, Janus's car as, like Logan said, “it was the least he could do for them that night”.

« Are you going to go back in? » Janus whispered as he kept an eye on the backseat of his car.

Logan checked his watch, noticing time had flown by rather quickly, no wonder the kid had already fallen asleep. « I think so, yes. »

« Okay. » the other nodded. « Don't stay too late, Remus is not the only one who needs sleep. »

« I am fully aware of what a healthy circadian rhythm consists of. » he threw in a slight, non-harmful piece of sarcasm in his voice.

« Oh, I know you do. I was just making sure you knew you aren't elected to ignore it either way. »

Logan was delighted by the atmosphere: it was always pleasant to realize the exact moment in which you got closer to someone, the caring feeling hidden under friendly banter.

He was glad someone was looking out for him in that way.

« I'll theorize about what's going to happen next in your tale to help myself, then. »

« Hey, » Janus pointed towards him. « Don't you dare use that excuse to stay up later, though. »

« Will not do. » Logan chuckled. « Seriously, though, you needn't worry. »

« Fine. » he said, realizing that maybe his “mother-hen” senses had been activated the moment his nephew had fallen asleep.

He looked back at his little duke, and took a step backward, moving to his car.

« Well- »

Janus raised his arm to wave, but was interrupted by his friend's sudden words.

« I was thinking, » Logan was tapping his fingertips together before stopping altogether and making eye contact, like he had forgotten what he was doing. « If you'd like to and if you have time, we could hang out? It doesn't always have to be my workplace, or be a rushed thing. »

« That would be lovely! I can't really leave Remus alone nowadays and I always work when he's at school, as I imagine you do as well, but you could definitely come visit when you're off. »

Both of them were thrilled of the thought of spending quality time with each other for once.

« Oh, right. I could pick you up from work and you could have dinner with us! »

« Sounds excellent. » Logan moved slightly and a speck of street light hit part of his face, lighting up one of his eyes.

It was there that it was clear how the dark of the night made everything seem more mysterious and grim.

They waved each other goodbye, deciding to agree upon the day of their meeting via text.

Janus heard Remus shuffle in his seat, he was gripping tightly at the door's handle.

The moment he looked back ahead of himself he noticed an unusual glimmering under his eyes: he quickly checked on the rear-view mirror, finding the same sparkles he had described in his story.

He in-took a deep breath and braced himself for whatever was going to come in the future, while all he could think about were sharp looks and a poised personality.

That sure as the sky was going to be interesting to witness.

For example, it was deeply interesting when he received a call from Logan, the latter insisting he couldn't be able to sleep; the sound of the phone ringing had also woken Remus up, whom unceremoniously plopped onto his uncle's bed right beside him as soon as he heard Logan's voice.

Now he had two restless kids to put to sleep.

« This isn't an excuse for both of you to stay up later is it? »

« I wanted to talk to Logan too! »

« And I forgot to get melatonin on my way to work. »

After arguing to get him to make a physical note to leave on his table for the morning after, Janus allowed the man to stay on the line and Remus to get comfortable under the covers, while only the bedside table lamp was on.

✾✾✾✾

The terrace scene had replayed in Virgil's head for weeks.

Ever since the start, his goal had been the one to be able to reach the Sun, the one childhood hero he had grown to love, now he had him at his fingertips and yet, he was still so distant.

He danced with strangers to gain courage to get as close as possible to him, but he couldn't find it to touch his hand, let alone when he had to speak a single word to him.

The Sun seemed kind-hearted, he was for sure as well, he knew he wouldn't have been the target of insults for his deep admiration.

Despite all of this, he was still scared.

He was going to explode if he didn't speak up about it anytime soon.

« Are you alright? »

That question again, while the same thoughts circled in his mind, ones he couldn't keep in anymore.

« I think I'm in love with him. »

Roman battered his eyes. He had been spending most of the dance time with him, venting to each other about whoever came to visit or simply relaxing in the quietest spot they were allowed to reach.

They hadn't danced together once yet.

« Care to explain further? »

How could he when he couldn't even say his name?

« The sun. » Virgil hardly let out any voice. « I just- » he felt all the tension wash away as he looked into Roman's red irises, willing to gather more knowledge on the situation. « I'm happy to come here only because I have a chance to see him, but every single time someone else sweeps him away before I can even reach him. »

That would've been Remy, Roman thought.

« And even if I had the opportunity … I couldn't take it. It's stronger than me and it's eating me alive at the same time. » his breath was heavy with emotion.

Roman made space to a new feeling as well. There was only one way he could explain it.

Daggers.

Daggers piercing through your chest and stomach, multiple of them slowly and attentively burning holes in every vital organ, becoming sharper the longer Roman breathed through it.

It was because of empathy, right? He felt awful for Virgil's incapacity to interacting with the one he loved.

So why would the thought of helping him deepen the sharpness of those knives?

« I just … need to at least talk about it with someone. I only ever really have this opportunity with you and then again, staying alone with my thoughts- »

« It makes you want to scream. »

Roman wanted to yell the pain away.

« Like your organs are contorting … »

And twisting and looking for a way out of your body.

« … And your heart is in your throat, trying its best to escape. »

Virgil nodded, an aching expression displayed on his face.

« Why don't you just go? Next time, you just throw yourself in. Be yourself. It's always what they tell you to do. Let it happen, be natural and respect his boundaries. A path will slowly be open to you. »

What was he doing?

Virgil let the information sink in and, slowly, that pained face transformed into a warm smile.

That. That's what I'm doing. That's what I always want to do.

It was also how they tended to spend the sunset and sunrise dances ever since; Roman would sit down with Virgil in the corner and psych him up for him to be able to, eventually, open up to the opportunity of meeting Emile for real.

And, at the same time, he watched himself struggle and fall down, masking himself for the sake of the other.

On a particular night, he was walking away from the room alone, a myriad of thoughts surrounding his mind.

He didn't even have what he wanted.

« No, I do. » he retorted to himself, stopping dead in his tracks.

Virgil was his friend, that's all he had ever wanted ever since he found out about his existence, so why was it just not enough yet? Why was it so doleful, the idea of the friend he craved being so happy with someone else?

Why couldn't it just admit his emotions to himself? Why was there always a wall between him and how he felt?

« Would you please like to get moving? » he felt a hand push him from his back and the sight of Zeta and Canopus at her side obscured his mind from whatever he was thinking.

He didn't react much other than get to walking again, everything would've been fine, to some extent, if he didn't hear her whisper to her friend about how she was going to stop at Sirius's star before.

Anxiety surged in his stomach, up to his stomach, pumping his heart more than needed.

« You've been distraught. » she announced as they landed on his star. « What's up? »

« You think I'd tell you? »

« Why do you have anyone else to say that to? »

Roman looked down: as much as he hated to admit it, she was right.

« That still doesn't mean I suddenly want to open up to you. »

« Sirius, come on, you think you'll ever get the chance to do so with that little kid? »

« His name is Virgil. » he growled.

She tilted her head, mouth open. « Protective aren't we? » he clicked her tongue three times. « Not good, Sirius, not good. As I was saying, you'll never have the chance to talk with anyone but me and Canopus. »

Shut up.

« Patton won't be able to be here for you forever. »

Shut up.

« And everybody knows how Sirius B's star is slowly dying- »

« Can you stop for once in your life?! »

Zeta watched as Roman put his hands on his ears, eyes wide with panic, his entire body was trembling as he sat down, his sadness finally hitting him. Tears welled in his ruby eyes as too many concerns formed inside him.

« Don't talk about him. » he managed to say through the sobs. « Don't mention him, in any way, I don't want you to even think about him. »

Zeta arched an eyebrow and stepped closer, offended by the sudden burst. « You really need to own up to your true title and stop hanging around the pathetic ones. »

She walked away from him, until yelling took her by surprise.

« I love him! » Roman admitted, pulling his arms away from his eyes, his face reddened and wet with sorrow. « Are you happy?! I love him and he definitely doesn't. »

He looked down and all he saw was opaque misery.

« Well of course he doesn't. » she spat, turning back to give him one last disgusted glance. « Look at yourself. »

The last dagger.

Roman collapsed and let out all his anguish.

Yet again, he was going to find himself left behind, alone in his shuddersome melancholy.

And no one else had to know.

✾✾✾✾

There was a beat of silence.

« Uncle, how am I going to sleep after all of that? »

Janus grinned mischievously. « I like to torture my readers. » then he picked up the phone again and whispered. « But listen. »

Nothing more than a slow breathing came from the other end.

« Want to say goodnight? »

Remus nodded vigorously. « Night Lol! » he then watched as Janus hung up. « Is Roman going to be okay? »

Janus shrugged. « Maybe. »

« I'm going to kick you off the bed. »

« I'd tease you more but I recognize you're actually able to do that. »

« Good. » Remus smiled and eventually tucked himself further in bed, ready for a good night's sleep. And maybe some chaos in the middle of it, but it wasn't like his uncle had to know.

On a fortunate weekend, Janus and Remus were finally driving back to their apartment with a new component of their little group. Logan was contentedly sitting in the passenger seat, ready for another one of the peculiar nights around who became in no time two of his favorite people.

As he made his way through the porch, he noticed how Remus had wanted to stick the glow-in-the-dark stars on every single apartment wall. In fact, he had told the astronomer how sometimes he would convince his uncle to have a sleepover in different rooms.

« Imagine sleeping in the kitchen and waking up to breakfast ready! »

« That literally already happens, I always cook you something before you wake up. And don't think I don't notice those midnight snacks. »

The dinner went by nicely, Logan had settled in quickly, like he had always belonged there: he helped with food and to hinder Remus whenever it was extremely needed, or at least keep him company while he played as Janus was busy in the kitchen.

Having Logan around felt like the most normal thing ever and Janus was grateful to have a friendship like his.

Before he knew it, the sparkles were back. He fought them away as he called the other two, trying to keep himself through the entire meal, but it was absolutely impossible as he kept laughing and smiling thanks to someone so dashingly-

Hold up. Back on track.

You're supposed to fight it back, not welcome it, you dumbass.

Remus lost interest in the TV show he was following and left the room to go play with his toys once he had finished eating, taking some ice cream with him.

In the middle of a conversation, Janus absentmindedly rubbed at his cheek, not noticing he had taken off some of the makeup he meticulously had put on before he left home.

Someone else noticed, of course.

« Oh- You have- Hang on. » Logan bent over the table, thinking an eyelash had fallen on Janus's cheek, though when he noticed it didn't fall off, rather it expanded, he arched his eyebrows and sat back, looking at the makeup residue on his fingertips.

Janus's heart had skipped multiple beats since then. What was he supposed to say now?

« I would never pry, but, is everything alright? »

Seeing the genuine concern and care behind Logan's glasses, he convinced himself it was time for him to learn the story behind him.

Not every single detail … as he would've never believed him.

« It's … kind of a long story. » he began, folding his hands together on the table. « Remus's mother, she was my sister. She had married this man, Clyde Davis. »

« The therapist? »

« You know him? » the world surely was very little.

« Not personally. » his doctor had suggested him as he was also a psychiatrist, to help with his sleep issues.

« Well, they were together for a few years, then they had Remus and everything was going splendidly. » his glance moved from his hands to Remus playing in the other room. « Until my sister fell ill. It didn't take too long for it to consume her … I was already staying by their side pretty much daily, supporting them. » he sighed deeply and passed a hand on his face. « When she passed away, it also didn't take long before Clyde decided to start a new life … without Remus. »

« He … passed him onto you? Just like that? » Logan was bewildered negatively.

« Yes. He said we reminded him too much of her and he couldn't stay in that kind of environment anymore. »

« I understand the decision, but, and pardon my french, that is what they call a “dick move”. »

Janus couldn't help but giggle at that. « Yeah, I can't believe I used to be in love with him. »

Wait.

Wait.

Earthlings, Janus, you fool!

That was it, he ruined automatically whatever he had created with Logan with a single sentence because he forgot the humans' moral compass.

Right before he could spiral, he felt a hand on his and, when he looked up, he saw his friend's reassuring expression.

« It's okay. Sometimes we love people who hurt us, it can happen and we cannot control what our heart dictates. »

Janus blinked multiple times, then couldn't bare his stare anymore and looked down again. Then at their joined hands.

He took another breath. « Remus and I were perfectly fine by ourselves, dare I say Remus's presence lit up my days more than I did his. Then one day he appeared on my doorstep and it took all I had in myself to not slam the door right on his face. He insisted he had left something behind and decided to retrieve it after two years. Needless to say … he made me very upset. »

He scrunched his face for a second.

« I had a knife in my hand … and, well, I accidentally injured myself while trying to prove a point. » he wiped further at his cheek and part of his eyebrow and forehead. « Thankfully it wasn't as deep as it seemed. »

« I'm really sorry all of that happened. » Logan grimaced. « I would gladly teach him a lesson if he ever comes in my sight. »

Janus snorted. « Will you tell him about Runaway stars? »

« I hate and love that sentence at the same time, but as much as it would be the most intently ironic topic ever, I do have mediocre experience in explaining about how to raise a child in an healthy environment. »

He nodded. « Yes, that would be an incredibly helpful topic. »

« For future reference, of course. »

« Ah yes, not like he ever needed that in the past. » Janus had waited for this kind of conversation to happen with someone for ages.

« I'm glad you told me when you didn't have to. » Logan eventually confessed. « I imagined something like this had happened, but I preferred you were the one to brush the subject first. »

Janus had always been grateful for that. « You're the first and only one so far. » they both smiled at that. « But yes, I just didn't want you to worry about this. » he said, pointing to his scar.

Logan didn't exactly control his next words. « Not that I can not worry for you nonetheless. »

No, don't do that to me.

« Sometimes it's like … I wished I could stay longer. I suppose it has to do with the fact that I like being around to help the two of you, be it with chores or having fun. Instead I keep rushing back and forth from home to work lately. »

Janus bit the inside of his cheek. « You're always welcome here if you want to distract yourself. Just be sure to take care properly. »

« I know I should. I never seem to have enough time in a day. »

« Then let us. » Janus started grinning and laid back against his seat. « Remus makes a killer combination of ice cream and we know all the best TV shows, I'm fairly sure you have a similar taste to mine. Oh my, I can't imagine you with a face mask- »

« Please spare me. » Logan pretended to be scared for his life as the other couldn't contain his laughter anymore.

« It's too late. The plan is already in motion. »

Their conversation derailed until wine settled in to make everything more light hearted.

Remus ventured in the room around 10, announcing he was tired by letting half of his body rest on top of his uncle's legs. He carried him towards his bed and, that time, both Logan and Janus had sat down next to him for the night's storytelling.

✾✾✾✾

« Gosh, this really is harder than it originally sounded like. » Patton had been rubbing Roman's back for the past minutes as he had lost all the energy to dance after the previous week's realization.

Dare he say, he was actually trying to avoid Virgil in any kind of way. His absence would've probably helped him far more to finally approach Emile, anyway. He was just helping him further, wasn't he?

« I feel awful. » the nebula admitted, a sour taste in his mouth. « One-sided feelings are difficult to accept, though not impossible to overcome. It may sound stupid, but you'll feel better with time, Ro. I assure you. »

« You're right, it sounds stupid. » he had never heard his voice so low.

Patton smiled sadly. « I know. But I do feel like, instead of inconveniencing yourself further, you should spend as much time as you are allowed to with him. » he looked back at him. «  And none says Emile automatically reciprocates. »

« Don't get my hopes up. »

« I was just saying. » Patton used his sing-song voice, the one that never failed to make Roman smile. « Either way, I'll always be here to be your moral support. »

« Believe me, you'll also always be a far better moral support than Zeta. »

« She isn't the best in that department. »

Both Patton and Roman looked up and the latter found Canopus sitting next to him.

« She thinks she looks out for people. She has good intentions, but she's still a little confused on her methods. » it was usual of her to defend Zeta, but Roman was glad she shared nothing of Ophiuchus' star's attitude.

« I think she should understand not every single one of us is under her supervision. »

Canopus nodded, lying against the column which was lining up perfectly with her back.

« Why has she left you alone? » Roman didn't mind her, she was actually one of the kindest stars he knew, but seeing her by herself made him skeptical.

« Did she hurt you? We would stand by your side in case! »

Canopus giggled and put up her hands. « It's okay. No, she's … talking to someone. » she pointed to Roman. « Your co-star? Virgil? »

That was the last straw-

« Don't you dare. » Patton pulled Roman back down on his seat, though the other was fuming with rage already. « Canopus, dear, why would Zeta converse with Virgil without you? »

« She said she needs to ask him a question. A rather personal question, something she didn't want me to know, I guess. » she looked into Roman's eyes with determination. « She vowed to never lie to me many, many years back. I'm sure she isn't saying anything about you. You know how she's all for honor, I don't think she would tell on you like that. »

As much as Zeta's ways had always been pretty drastic, Roman believed her, though the curiosity of what she might have been asking was eating him away.

More than being curious, for Virgil the experience was dreadful.

You suddenly saw one of the biggest stars in the room come up to you and ask about your feelings, like everyone in the room could've read you easily.

« This is going to sound weird. » she declared as she took Virgil's hand when they exchanged dancing partners. « But I need to know this out of you. Do you by any chance nurture any kind of romantic feelings towards Sirius A? »

Virgil felt dumbfounded. « No. » he quickly said, quicker than needed. « I do not. » he added, trying to mimic her poised nature.

« So, if there ever was another potential lover, you'd think the path would be clear for them? »

Was that hope in her voice? The tiniest tremble in a heated room.

« I definitely think so. » she glanced back in a direction unknown to Virgil.

« Thank you. » she whispered before disappearing back in the crowd; he stepped away from it, finding easily Emile's bright figure dancing and smiling like it was the first time with some stars unknown to him.

« Isn't he beautiful? »

Damn. That really was the richest night he had, huh?

Right next to him stood the Moon themselves; Remy was holding their glasses, letting their gleaming silver eyes rest for a while.

« Truly. » he agreed, letting the softness take him away.

« I couldn't ask for a more amazing dance partner every night. » Virgil wished he could share a piece of their happiness.

« I can only imagine. » he looked down, gaze fixed onto the Sun.

Remy titled their head. « You haven't danced with him yet? »

Virgil shook his head no and bite his lip. He so wished to do so.

« Then fear not, sweetie, I got your back. » they put back their sunglasses and carefully led Virgil to dance in swirls around the room, so that his next partner would have been Emile for sure.

« It's an experience to try. He's like, the most magnificent star I've ever met. »

« I know. » Virgil's tone was now more dreamy. « I've seen him everyday in front of me, I've been hoping to interact with him ever since I was little. »

« That sounds adorable, darling. Your wish is my command, humans use to wish upon stars, but it's truly only the Moon that hears them and guides them through their path. »

Remy noticed they were close to the partner change.

« One last question. What's your title? »

« Sirius B. I'm part of a binary star-system. » Virgil felt Remy's grip loosen on his hand and, slowly, he was let to someone else.

« Good luck, Virgil. »

Remy's nod was the last thing he saw before turning and finding Emile smiling down at him.

As for the Moon, he found himself dancing with Patton. « Ah! My favorite Nebula! »

« Hello Remy. » Patton giggled at Remy's extra antics. « I see you were talking to Virgil. »

« Yeah, the guy was totally scared. Like, girl, I know I'm a big deal, but you're starting to make me feel like royalty, that's going to feed my ego. » they let out a laugh, but composed themselves rather rapidly. « Say, he told me something that kind of left me perplexed. »

Oh, no.

Patton feared Virgil had disclosed his feelings, but he was pretty sure he wouldn't have been so ingenuous to reveal them to the Moon, of all presents.

« He seemed to express deep admiration for Emile. » was it really what he was thinking? « But he said he's in front of him? Like a childhood kind of admiration, you know? Someone you look up to ever since you're born. Weird, because last time I checked, Sirius B is in front of Sirius A. »

« Hold on. » Patton's eyes widened and the couple stopped in the middle of the room. « Are you telling me he hasn't been praising the Sun just because of all the stories about him, but because he has mistaken it for Roman? »

« Seems so. I wanted to let you know, in case there had been a misunderstanding. »

« Oh my gosh, Remy! » Patton pulled both of them out of the crowd. « That is fantastic news! »

« It is? Did I do a good job? Have I earned a gold star? » Remy smirked as the nebula laughed his heart out between his excitement and the pun.

They reached Roman in no time, who had decided to sit by himself during the entire night.

« You're not going to believe this, Ro! »

Patton took Roman's hands in his and smiled brightly as he narrated everything that had just happened with Remy's assistance when it came to what exactly happened between him and Virgil.

Despite now realizing that Virgil's feelings should have been directed at him, Roman's expression didn't differ.

« You do know that changes nothing, right? »

Patton's face fell. « Wh- »

« Pat, listen. Even if he'd mistaken his feelings for the wrong person, Virgil has still developed feelings for Emile, not for me. He isn't going to direct them towards me only because of a tiny mistake, it isn't how they work. »

Remy leaned over Patton. « Uh, I'm going to let you guys work this out, not because I'm jealous or whatever, promise. I don't wanna intrude. Hope you figure it out. » then they spared one last look for Roman. « But dude, why not tell him? He's still your friend, and he has only just met Emile, after feeding off of a false image of him. » then, the Moon shrugged. « But you do you, sir. Have a nice rest of the night. » with that, they disappeared.

« I won't force you, Ro. But do know that I support you. »

Roman didn't feel like having the same sharp daggers through his stomach again, yet a huge part of him was pulling him to his feet. With no other word, he let himself between the dancing couples.

And, of course, in no time he clasped hands with Zeta.

« Here for another lecture? »

« No, not tonight. »

Roman scoffed. « I thank you for blessing me. »

Silence fell between them as Roman caught sight of Virgil and the Sun. And their happiness. And how he had never made him smile so wide, how he had never made his eyes glimmer like that, how he hadn't gotten a single sparkle out of his cheeks the way he had had it on for the entirety of his dance with Emile.

Feeling under motivated, he looked away, deciding against intervening. Who was he to break his little dream?

Virgil really had been living his dream.

But everybody knows sometimes dreams tend to turn into nightmares.

« I'm glad I get to inspire the younger ones. » Emile made dancing feel natural. « Though I must ask you something as well, after seeing such adoration. » he looked in Virgil's eyes deeply. « Are you being true to yourself and honest with your feelings, Virgil? »

Agitation grew into him. « W-what would that mean? » he stuttered, his cover already blown.

« You don't have to lie about what you feel only because you fear the outcome. You already know that star in front of you is not me but it's Roman, you've known all along but you've masked it with me so Roman would have backed away thinking his interest was one sided. »

Virgil had never felt more read through in his entire life, like he had had the truth plastered on his face the entire time.

The guilt in his eyes told Emile he was spot on.

« Why is that so, little one? »

« Everybody knows what happens when two stars of a system collide they either become a single bigger star, or produce a black hole. » Virgil looked down. « I … I feared the outcome of our relationship. I figured if I made him step away, nothing like that would've happened. I didn't want to risk it. »

The Sun frowned. « You were ready to give up both of your happiness? »

« For the sake of potentially every star in this room? Yes. » he could taste his own sour words. « Nothing else matters. »

« Let me tell you something, Virgil. » Emile pulled them away from the crowd of dancers. « Usually, a black hole happens when there's a series of star collisions. A single star collision tends to merge the two stars into a supernova explosion. And yes, it is said that only one of the two will survive ultimately, but actually what survives is a mixture of the two. We call this a luminous red nova. This will only happen if your binary system ever experiences orbital decay. » Emil put a hand on Virgil's shoulder. « If you are careful about how you move and only meet during the sunrise and sunset dances, you're absolutely safe. Believe me. Okay? »

Virgil blinked a few times before stopping to bit his cheek and finally let a genuine smile creep on his face. « I do. I believe you. » he took a deep shaky breath, finally devoid of all the concerns in his mind. « Thank you. »

« Don't mention it, little one. Now, make me proud and go t- »

The Sun got interrupted by a loud crashing sound, like the sky had just broken up and started falling from the ceiling.

The two immediately looked behind themselves to find the most terrifying picture: every single star but one had been blown away, fallen to their feet as the only standing one started having a red aura around them. The luminous shade seemed to only grow wider and … warmer.

« Oh, Jupiter. This is not good. » Emile said as Virgil noticed Roman a few feet away from the standing star, staring wide eyed at them.

« What? What's going on? »

« It's Zeta Ophiuchi. » Emile slowly turned to Virgil, terror in his eyes. « It's turning into a Runaway star. »

✾✾✾✾

« So, what astronomers hypothesized up until now is that Zeta Ophiuchi had been previously part of a binary system itself, but its partner had exploded into a supernova, hurling Zeta at a very high speed through space. This is why they're called runaway stars. » Logan explained to Remus as he had been confused by the dramatic cliffhanger; he then turned to Janus. « That is fairly a very interesting way of portraying the beginning of a runaway star. I wonder what Roman had said to cause her to have that reaction. »

« Oh! I know! He rejected her. »

« Damn, » Janus furrowed his eyes at Remus. « You really don't like leaving some suspense here and there. »

« This is repay for when you told me you didn't know whether Roman was going to be okay. And he sure as hell doesn't sound okay now. »

Janus tucked his nephew into bed. « How about you sleep, you stinky little rat king? »

Remus whined. « You know that's my favorite nickname! I can't help but comply. » he suddenly lifted his hands. « Take me, arms of Orpheus. »

« It's Morpheus. » Logan pointed out.

« You're all boring. » he turned to the other side and, after half an hour, he gave out to his tiredness.

Ever since then, Logan started visiting whenever he could between shifts and free work days, sometimes he would stay for dinner, other times they would all watch movies together. Mostly Logan realized how he much had caught them in his heart and wanted to help around as much as it was possible for him.

Especially since that one other rather emotional night – again, in vino veritas – in which Janus had told him how hard it was to do everything on his own.

He obviously hadn't meant to ask Logan to do everything for him, but it was also a pretty important call for assistance and the astronomer was more than happy to fulfill the position.

« I apologize, » Janus had called from the hallway one evening. « Remus is having some trouble tonight, I'll be back in a minute, you can start watching anything if you'd like. »

It had been fairly twenty minutes since Janus had disappeared behind Remus's door: Logan couldn't help but be concerned, thus he got up, intending on asking whether some help was needed.

His purpose hadn't been to eavesdrop initially, really.

« Virgil had told Anguis that her stories were delightful, » Janus had told Remus as he stroked his hair. Remus's eyes were red and puffy. « He told her she should've pursued her dream and come to Earth to tell humans our adventures around space. He was the one to finally convince her, you know? She shined brighter than I had ever seen her. I was so happy she had made that choice. »

« I still am. I'm very glad we came to Earth. Even after everything that has happened, I couldn't imagine living million of years running through space without you. Without Logan. I'm happy to have fallen down here rather than be up there. »

« I still miss some stars, I miss Roman and Virgil very dearly … I had barely a chance to meet the others, but … I don't regret leaving them behind for this. »

Remus only stared at him, but seemed to nod and ultimately hug Janus tightly.

Logan couldn't make out what they murmured to each other, especially as he got lost in his thoughts.

So there were others?

« Oh- » he didn't notice Janus coming out of the room right after. « Oh f- Uh, how much did you hear? »

« Enough, I think. » Logan was still zoned out, which made him seem like he was completely uncaring.

« Well, uhm, you know how … stories you tell kids am I right? You pretend- »

« I'm an astronomer, Janus, » Logan begun, focusing on the other's eyes. « I know a lot about stars. I've seen you and Remus's faces literally light up. I also know stars can be people, you don't have to lie to me. » his tone was soothing, he still couldn't believe he had met another one. « I met one of you before, his name is Thomas. Thomas Sanders, to be specific. »

Janus's eyes widened. « The- The actor? »

« Exactly. I helped him out when he fell – right behind my house, to his luck – and as of now, we grew apart since he has been profoundly busy. We are still in contact, though. We actually meet up from time to time. »

« That … » Janus's expression was priceless, a mixture of disbelief and amazement. « I have no idea how to describe how I'm feeling right now.

Logan loved it so much.

« Thomas is writing a movie script as of now. He's given one of the characters my name. »

« You. » Janus pulled Logan away from the hallway. « Are, as of now, the coolest human being of my knowledge. »

They sat down on the couch, letting the TV show be their background noise.

« Why, I'm rather flattered. »

« Okay. » Janus took the glass of wine he had left on the table earlier, before taking a small sip out of it. « I'm ready. »

« For? »

« My actual life story. »

Logan tilted his head and laid back, ready to let the other talk. It had already been a stressful night, why not stay on theme?

« My sister and I were formerly two shooting stars. We used to travel through space and meet a wide range of stars, galaxies and planets. It was wonderful. Then we fell on Earth by choice. We quickly adapted to its customs somehow. Anguis and I met Clyde, they fell in love and I put my feelings aside in their favor, since … I heard my love isn't exactly condoned here. » he took another sip.

« When I told you she fell ill, it was actually her star self shutting down. She ultimately became stardust under our very own eyes. Clyde feared Remus and I would end up the same way, since even my nephew's part star. And then we were left alone. » he opened his arms. « I hope this tale entertained you as well. »

Logan didn't say anything before surging forward and taking Janus in a tight embrace. He wasn't intending on letting go anytime soon, especially when he felt his friend's sobs on his shoulder.

« What if it really happens? W-what if I lose Remus in the span of a week? I couldn't bear it. »

« What if you don't? What if he spends a wonderful fulfilling life thanks to the possibilities you're offering him? What if you get to see him grow old and spend all your last moments knowledgeable that he is happy thanks to you? Because never in your life the thought of abandoning him ever crossed your mind. »

Logan tightened his hug. « You are a spectacular guardian, Janus. Take it from someone who knows how it feels to be neglected. You have nothing to fear, and it's normal to feel doubtful every now and then. » he loosened it after, so he could look him in the eyes. « Whatever happens, you can face it like you have always done. Okay? »

Janus nodded and muttered a low okay, right after he almost didn't register Logan giving him a forehead kiss.

« I hope you will feel more free to tell me anything that bothers you, now that I know. »

« You're the only one I can turn to. » Janus smiled sadly, averting his eyes.

« Well then, » he took his hands and guided him on his feet. « I am honored to be at your service. Come, now. »

Logan took him to his bedroom so he could rest sooner, but as he helped him lay down, he felt something tug at his shirt. He turned and saw Janus's fingers laced on the fabric.

« Could you stay? » he drowsily asked, his voice barely audible like he was afraid to talk any louder, or at all.

Logan smiled softly and nodded; he proceeded to close the front door and turn off the lights for him. Afterwards, he laid next to the other and stroked his hair until he fell asleep.

He was confused.

Had he always felt attracted by him because of the star's pull, or were his feelings lying to him? Why did he care so much? Why did he want to do anything in his power to ease their lives?

Why hadn't he stopped to caress Janus's face and look at him as soon as he'd fallen asleep? Why would he rather have him in his arms like before?

He wanted to hold his hand longer, let him know he was there in case he had a nightmare.

Still, Janus had simply asked him to stay.

That he was going to do.

After that night, Logan had chosen to give Janus some more space. A few days had passed when he received a very welcome message from one of his acquaintances.

He was quick to text Janus about it as well: Thomas had just asked him if they could meet up that week, which would've been the perfect time for them to meet as well.

They could have also shared their experiences and get other stuff off of their chests, stuff only both of them would understand. Plus he was sure it would've been nice to have someone like you to talk to for instance.

Not even a minute after, Janus wrote back to him, talking about how excited he would've been to meet up with them as well.

It all led to one particular afternoon at a café, Logan had just introduced Janus and Remus to Thomas, who they found out used to be a very small galaxy on the brink of  crashing and becoming a black hole. He lost all of his stars, but at least he saved himself.

He confessed he had a freckled pattern of them on his back.

It didn't surprise him how they clicked immediately.

Thomas talked about his project, this movie where he would talk to different aspects of his personality and work through issues about himself and grow as a person.

« The funniest bit about this is that I'm not human, thus I experienced the most childish dilemmas at an old age. » as Thomas chuckled, Janus was sure he had seen the galaxy's stars in his eyes twinkle as well.

« But enough about me, Logan told me you tell wonderful stories! » Thomas's eyes lit up immediately. « I also asked him a bit about you in general, and honestly dude. You give me major Disney villain vibes. »

Janus put a hand on his chest. « Why, thank you. »

Thomas chuckled. « I was thinking, would you like to contribute to a character I have in mind? He's pretty complex and I have a feeling your thinking would suit him amazingly. »

« Oh. » Janus's mouth hung open. « I … I don't know what to say- »

« Yes! Say yes, I want my character too! Can I have one? » Remus jumped out from his seat and leaned over Thomas as the other man giggled. « I want something gross! »

« I like your unusual thinking, kiddo. » Thomas rested his chin on his hand. « I do have an idea for a character correlated to intrusive thoughts … What's your favorite color, Remus? »

« Green! »

The former galaxy pulled out a notebook from his bag, taking down everything he had just learnt. « I can work with that. »

« Hey uncle, you think we could add Roman and Virgil too? Maybe even Patton? »

Janus cleared his throat, ready to say something similar to the fact that they shouldn't impose anything on Thomas, but was promptly cut off by the man himself as Logan told Remus he had had a wonderful idea.

« Oh? » a sly smile appeared on his lips. « Do tell me more about them? »

Janus scratched his neck and let his hand rest on his shoulder. « Uhm, it's kind of a long story, but it's about these two stars my sister and I met before falling on Earth. »

The former galaxy couldn't have seemed more intrigued: Remus came to the rescue, providing an insightful summary of the previous events, with Logan's assistance, justifying some space facts Thomas had forgotten during his life on Earth.

« You absolutely have to tell me more, dude. »

« As you wish, » Janus assumed his usual storytelling position on the café's seat, looking then both at his nephew and Logan. « Are you guys ready for the great finale? »

✾✾✾✾

In an instant, Virgil had found himself on the ground; Emile had thrown him down so the second blow of Zeta wouldn't have hit him as much, but the Sun kept running, aiming to protect the Moon with everything he had in his potential.

Virgil's every limb was trembling as he pulled himself up by the elbows, sliding forward until he reached something to sustain himself up: he looked around and saw the stupidest star in the galaxy doing the stupidest thing in the universe.

Roman was already standing, trying to coax whatever had caused Zeta to explode, without success.

« You! » she roared, as Emile and Remy started gathering stars around to let them out as fast as they could. « You are an hypocrite! After everything I've done for you! » there was another blow, to which Virgil reacted by doubling over again.

Roman stood still, which was permitted by his star's strength. « I'm sorry I can't reciprocate your feelings Zeta! I can't fake them either! »

« Shut up! »

As another blow hit the room, Virgil tried to slither on the floor the closest he could to the couple: it was then that he understood Roman was numbing down Zeta's crashing energy by taking all the blows on himself.

That idiot.

Roman made a false move by averting his gaze to Virgil on his right, rather than focusing on the soon-to-be runaway star. Zeta followed it, feeling the burning of her insides even stronger than before.

In that single second of haziness, chaos was unleashed.

They all had less than a second to react: Roman ducked to his right, using himself as a shield to protect Virgil, still disoriented by the previous blow.

A single hit from her curve and Virgil would've been detached from their binary system and become a runaway star as well.

Emile rapidly pushed Remy out of the palace along with the other stars, fearing for their well-being as he already knew the consequences Zeta was going to cause.

When he turned back, hearing the Moon's “wait!” before closing the entrance, she had already been violently circulating in the room, everything she hit crumbled to pieces, her final goal being the two stars that had caused her infinite dolence.

She had spiraled out of control.

« Roman! » Emile tried to avoid the falling bricks of marble in every direction, shielding his eyes from the dust. « We cannot withstand her power any longer, we have to leave! »

Virgil looked rapidly between the two, shortly glanced at where Zeta was heading and ran in her opposite direction, taking Roman's hand in his as the Sun went along them.

The entrance had already been blocked, thus there was a single emergency exit remaining: the balcony.

The three ran down the hallways, scrambling to their feet here and there everytime Zeta crashed into the walls and the ceiling, the lights already out.

Everything went wrong when Roman let go of Virgil's hand and locked him and Emile out of the hallway, free to run to their salvation.

They immediately turned to him.

« What the fuck do you think you're doing? » Virgil punched the glass door, while Roman's expression displayed determination and slight regret.

« I'm the strongest star between all of us. I can keep her at bay as you guys get to a safe location- Please, just let me do this. »

« Are you out of your mind?! And leave you in this crumbling place where you'd never get out alive? » Virgil powered up, his eyes and fists becoming pure light and fire. He punched the glassed entrance further, breaking it instantly this time.

Roman's eyes widened and he watched Virgil tug him down by the shirt.

« Don't you get it? It's you, you fool. It's always been you. » Virgil's voice sounded between desperate and on the verge of crying, in need to let out all of the words he'd never been able to before. « I had a hard time admitting it to myself because I was scared but it's always been you I loved. »

Roman couldn't quite believe the words he was hearing, thinking he had to be hallucinating after all the hits taken by Zeta. Tears welled up in his eyes before he could register them, he then raised a hand to cup Virgil's cheek.

« And now I don't care anymore. I don't care, either we die because of a black hole or for a runaway star, it doesn't matter! » he breathed in, hiccuping in the middle of it, before looking back up at Roman. « I will be with you, because I love you. I love you and I'm not scared. »

Roman felt hysterical, letting out a muffled laugh between his sobs. « I love you too. » he took Virgil's face in both his hands and pressed their lips together almost desperately. And there he knew there hadn't been a collision he would've wanted more than that one.

As they parted, Virgil turned to Emile, who had been trying to reduce the blows for as long as they could have some more minutes.

« Go. You're way too important. »

Roman nodded. « We will handle it. »

The Sun spared them one last look, one of those that meant everything from gratitude to the deepest admiration.

When he was gone, Virgil took Roman's hand yet again, maybe for the last time, he thought, and they ventured back in the halls together.

They tightened their grips the more the crashes became unsustainable.

Looking at the ceiling and up ahead, the two understood there was no way for them to progress any further. Roman placed them in front of a window, then he called Zeta to them.

As she inverted her course to reach them, the two embraced each other.

« Scared? » Roman murmured, looking in his eyes.

« Not one bit. » Virgil's soft and imperceptible smile was exactly what Roman would've wished to see last of him.

A blinding light surrounded them, both powering themselves up to take in Zeta's hit and protect each other as best as they could.

Then, the final blow came.

And everything turned dark as a black hole.

It didn't take much for the Sun and the Moon to reconstruct a palace for the sunset dance of the same day, apart from a small eclipse to be formed as the two worked together.

For the first time in forever, they took much longer to show up.

Remy and Emile kept each other's balance as they checked their previous half destroyed palace; the remains kept perfectly gravitating in the same place as before, as though the signs left by Zeta hadn't mattered or damaged them at all.

There was hope, they couldn't deny it, the kind of hope that set yourself up for disappointment.

It was on their third time of jumping around bits of pavement that they decided to give up, sure that there wasn't anything they had left behind.

On the Sun's hallway, where everything was unusually almost untouched, compared to the rest of the building, Remy held Emile's hands as he helped him down a pile of debris.

Something glowed from under their feet, reflecting its light on Remy's sunglasses for a brief moment: they immediately looked down and crouched as their partner curiously asked what he had noticed.

Remy inspected the marble rocks, until he felt some that had definitely a warmer temperature.

Either that was where Zeta had last gone, or …

« Help me take these away. » the Moon's resolute voice made Emile immediately comply.

There it was.

There they were.

Surrounded by a faint purple light, Virgil and Roman laid on the floor in each other's arms, unconscious.

Remy and Emile exchanged looks before lifting a star each and walking away from the desolate place.

Virgil's eyes opened as Emile and Remy parted in each other's new wings, his foggy vision permitted him to make out barely Roman's blacked out face in the distance.

« Ro- » Remy noticed him shifting in their arms. « Did I? No- » he whined, but the Moon shushed him kindly and, just like that he nodded off to sleep again.

Roman didn't comprehend why he had woken up in the Sun's room.

He pulled himself up from the bed, noticing how the room's seemed to have been re-decorated.

Like they had completely changed places.

It hit him in that exact moment, when he saw his ballroom clothes completely different, the pounding headache barely healed.

He made it?

Did that mean …?

Before he knew it, he was running in the hallway.

And someone was running towards him, hugging him on sight.

« For all the galaxies, Roman! » Patton squeezed him tight like he hadn't seen him in a billion eons. « That was not the right time to play the hero! » Patton pulled away that much to look him in the eyes. « I am so glad you're alive. » he then said, his voice as broken as the window he last remembered.

Canopus was right along him, but, differently from him or the Sun and Moon's warm expressions, she looked melancholy.

Roman had always suspected she had feelings for Zeta.

He approached her and took her hand in his. « I'm sorry. It's m- »

« She did it to herself. » she admitted, before looking up. « It would've been worse if you lied to her only to please her. » she displayed a sad smile. « I would've hated you only on that occasion. It's okay, Roman. I'm going to be alright. »

Roman realized he had underestimated Canopus's strength, but he was grateful he did.

And now, the big moment.

« Where …? »

« Where you already know. »

Emile and Remy parted to let a path behind them, which was leading to two massive golden doors.

Roman paced towards them, wasting no time in fiddling with the handles as he pushed them open.

If he ever had to imagine what happened to stars when they died, he wished it was exactly like that.

That palace's terrace was much bigger than the one they last saw Emile on; Virgil was waiting, looking at the sunset take place in front of him in the distance, unaware of his system partner.

He only turned around as he heard Roman sigh in relief at his sight.

As much as he wanted to run to him instantly, he kept one hand on the parapet and simply looked fondly at him as Roman stepped towards him.

Roman took his free hand and leaned on the rails as well, taking one quick glance at the beauty of nature.

He made slow movements, trying to realize whether or not Virgil was real, before circling him with his arms around Virgil's waist.

« Still not scared? » he whispered it like a secret between them.

Virgil's cheeks had already lit up as soon as he exited the ballroom. « I won't ever be anymore. » he confessed, resting his forehead against Roman's.

And it was true.

At last, he wasn't scared to touch him anymore.

At last, there were no more secrets to be uncovered.

At last, they could dance together.

✾✾✾✾

Silence followed Janus's last words: he waited for reactions, but all he saw were the three's gazes fixed on the table, Thomas's mouth ajar, like he had just made the deepest revelation.

« I- » Thomas looked back at the storyteller. « I loved everything you said. I loved every single word you pronounced, holy stars! » he tried to compose himself. « This is incredible. Just- Listen, this is going to sound very sudden, but- Would you ever consider being a script-writer with me? We could work on this movie together, your way of talking- I'm sure it would be just as wonderful if you wrote all of that down. Your words are magnificent! »

Janus had met him to be able to talk to someone like him, and there he was, being offered one of the most astounding jobs in his life.

He was stunned.

Remus hit his hands on the table. « Absolutely! » he answered in his uncle's stead. « Please, join my uncle! »

« I- » Janus's face broke into a wide smile. « It can be arranged, yes. » he laughed slightly. « I would love to! » he almost didn't notice Logan's hand in his.

He didn't definitely notice the astronomer's affectionate gaze, feeling not only butterflies but an entire species of animals running in his stomach at the sight of Janus's excitement.

Oh, how he loved the way his face lit up, how his eyes glimmered bright even on a sunny day.

« Wonderful cause I have plenty of new ideas! I might even consider Remy and Emile somewhere … »

The conversation went on, but Logan wasn't able to hear anything else other than how melodious Janus's voice sounded all of a sudden.

Janus couldn't stop talking about it even after they arrived back at the apartment, barely able to exit his car while Remus had already gone up the stairs and opened the door to let himself in.

« I just- For the Moon, Logan! A scriptwriter! Beside a famous actor who used to reside in space! » he had taken Logan's hand in his own. « I'm simply blown away! »

They stopped at the beginning of the stairs.

« Gosh, this is all thanks to you. » Janus looked up at him, sparkles all around him as he smiled fondly.

Logan's heart couldn't have possibly been happier, finding the sight extremely endearing.

When had they started hugging? He was so lost in his gaze …

« Your eyes are always so bright and glowy and beautiful. »

Janus blinked twice, his expression shifting slightly.

« It's like I could recognize every single constellation in them. »

He raised his hands to rest them on Logan's cheeks and brush them with his thumbs. « I love you. »

Janus leaned in and kissed him. « I love you so much. » he whispered before the other kissed him back, slowly.

They exchanged more, resonating they could never have enough, until they heard someone call from above.

« Is Logan going to be my new uncle?! »

They parted and looked up, seeing an excited Remus run around in excitement.

« Holy sh- »

« I knew it. »

✾✾✾✾

It was the day of the premiere of Thomas and Janus's movie.

The two were sitting next to Logan and Remus on the front seats, delightfully waiting for it to finally air for everybody else in the world.

Remus watched Thomas unable to stay silent one minute, his uncles holding hands, as their engagement rings glimmered in the semi-dark room.

He thought back of what life was before Logan came around, before Janus had started telling him stories of the people he and his mother had encountered.

Never would he have thought he would have been sitting in front of a soon-to-be bestseller movie's first airing, nearly two years after, with a new relative he deeply loved and new friends like him.

He hadn't known nothing of the sky.

But now he did.

Remus took Logan's hand and both he and Janus looked down at him, a genuine and caring smile on their faces as Thomas's voice echoed with the opening of the movie.

« What is up everybody?! »

He finally knew everything he needed to know.

[toloveawarlord]

can you tell us a bit about your ikevamp ocs?

*crackles knuckles* Alright, but hear me out. I have currently 15 ocs (13 of them being children but is anyone surprised?) I will certainly be creating suitor specific ocs, but those typically come knocking at my door whenever I am playing a route so it’ll be a few days before I get any of those. 

This is gonna be long so strap yourselves in fam.

I’ll start off with the first OC that I wanted created and that is *drum roll*

1. Amelia Earhart! 

I wanted to have at least one oc that is history based like the rest of the bitey boys, and through my research, I settled on her. Or rather, she flew her airplane right into my oc pile and said “pick me! pick me! I am amazing!” and thus she was the first oc for Ikevamp. 

Amelia or “Melia” as she goes by at the bar she owns in town, was plucked from her time by the Count after her final flight when she disappeared from time itself. In this story, she crashed at her destination but was seriously injured. The Count turned her into a vampire and then took her back to the mansion

I won’t spoil too much or there won’t a reason to write the story, but she ends up moving out of the mansion some time later and opens her own bar, which Arthur frequents as she assists him in finding women who won’t cause a fuss if he drinks their blood. Why did she leave the mansion? Guess I’ll have to write that story soon. 

2. Alara Bayar 

I’m a sucker for kids ending up in the care of the suitors, so I have my little baby Alara. Originally hailing from Turkey, her mother was forced into a marriage with a French noble and Alara came with the two to France. Her step-father barely acknowledges her, and is very cruel to the two. She witnesses an argument that ends in her mother’s death. Attempting to escape her feral step-father, she runs away and finds herself at the mansion late at night. Long story short, they vampire boys take her in as their own child. She was 6 years old when they met her and she has just turned 16 at the present of the game.

And now to get into the kids. Unlike my Ikerev Kids, I’m not planning on doing an origin toddler story for this bunch. I don’t want to run it into the ground. So instead, I’m going to focus on them as teenagers and have some one-shots of them from their toddler days or maybe do some headcannons about them. It’s up in the air at the moment.

Vanessa “Nessa” Bonaparte 

As a child: Generally a happy and good “sister” to the other kids. She typically followed the rules and doesn’t argue with her dad or “Grandpa Count” when asked to do something. 

As a Teenager: Loves swordplay more than any other hobby, sparring and training with her dad is her favorite thing. Attends a public Academy for school and is considered a social butterfly. She has plenty of human friends and cares for them deeply, despite knowing that once high school ends, that she will have to cut them off.

Lyric Mozart (Twin)

As a child: Intimidated by his father’s brilliance and cold nature, he struggled to learn to play the piano. He played the best when doing duets with his twin sister. Began violin lessons at the age of 8. Timid and soft-spoken, he was often left out of play because of his indecisiveness.

As a teenager- Prince Charming, according to his classmates. He solely plays the violin now, accompanying his sister as she plays the piano. He won as President of the Student Council as a second year student at the Academy. He is kind and thoughtful of his fellow students, but keeps the humans at arms length, afraid of rejection because of him being a vampire.

Aria Mozart (Twin)

As a child- Innate talent with the piano, reading musical composition was easy for her, but she struggled to play with how small her hands were. Much more outgoing than her brother, dragging him along with her when playing with the other kids. Vies for her father’s approval more than her twin.

As a teenager- More introverted and focused on her craft. She has a strained relationship with her father, feeling inferior to his skill and pours her energy into catching up with him. Tends to be a loner at school, spending most of her time in the music room, practicing. She struggles with her own identity as a musician.

Emery Newton

As a child- Overly curious and sneaky in nature. She blamed any and all accidents that happened in the mansion on Vanessa, knowing that if she played the cute and innocent card that she would not get in trouble. This only fueled her behavior to play pranks and cause mischief in the home.

As a teenager- Currently suspended from the academy for blowing up the science laboratory. She did it to spite the teacher who she claims is ill-qualified to teach them. She is currently studying along side her father, preferring this to school as she finds school dull and boring. Skips class often whenever she does attend.

Owen Da Vinci 

As a child- Ring leader of the kids. If they all played together, he made the rules and was the only one who could change them. Hated losing and would bend the rules so that he could win. Could be a bit of a bully if things weren’t going his way.

As a teenager- Exudes charm and is always surrounded by both girls and boys. He competes in horse races and is the captain of the school team. He drinks the blood of some of his classmates but uses a drug to put them into a fog so that they don’t remember. 

Alaina Conan Doyle 

As a child - Cried all the time for attention. Thick as thieves with Emery. The two were practically inseperable.The biggest troublemaker of the girls. Even as child, her blood lust was hard to control. She couldn’t enter a public school until high school. Her thirst was easy to quench as a child, since she couldn’t drink that much blood. 

As a teenager- Attends the academy but has to take a bottle of blood with her to sip on throughout the day. she calls them her smoothies to help with a “health condition”. In her first year of school, she killed a classmate by accident and was nearly banned from returning. Loves to play around with humans, especially timid boys. She cuts them to drink the blood without biting. 

Clarisse Van Gogh

As a child- Pure flower child. She loved being outdoors and in nature. She would often get lost in the forest chasing after a butterfly and would have to constantly be watched when outside. She likes to play with her dad’s paints and would rather spend time with him than playing games with the other kids. 

As a teenager- Still a pure bean. Her classmates refer to her as an airhead and gullible. She makes good marks in class but is typically doodling or daydreaming during lessons. She is willing to help anyone out no matter how busy she is. Paints a lot of abstract things, simply adding color and strokes based on her feelings. 

Malachi Van Gogh (Twin)

As a child- Big brother to his twin and his cousin. He often bumped heads with Owen if the other child ever tried to pick on the other two Van Goghs. He especially cared for Clarrise, because he could tell she could not fend for herself at all. 

As a teenager- Wary of humans. He did not attend the academy until Clarisse did, joining a second year when she was in first. He has no interest in art, but has a deep love for baking. He makes the lunches for all the kids attending school.

Knox Van Gogh (Twin)

As a child - Constantly felt like he had to compete for his brothers attention. He could be intentionally mean to Clarisse but regretted instantly because of her soft nature and she never got upset with him. He cried easily.

As a teenager- Bad boy, loner. He is the only child not attending school. He tends to wander at night, getting close to humans. He finds them fascinating in how they don’t sense danger lurking around them as a vampire would. He sometimes steals Clarisse’s art and sells it for cash.

Katsuro Dazai

As a Child- Quiet and introverted. He prefers to read books and play alone. He questions everything in his path, trying to find the meaning behind it. His favorite things to play with was sand. 

As a teenager- Still relatively quiet. He spends most of his time with Clarisse, either reading or writing while she paints. He follows her around at school, not conversing with other classmates. He finds her light to be so blinding that he can’t help but be near her.

Nina Shakespeare 

As a child- Nina was locked away in her room until the age of 8, not allowed out or allowed visitors other than her father. Developed an imaginary friend that she kept even as she grew older. When she was finally allowed out into the mansion, she hated the other children out of jealousy and lashed out often.

As a teenager- Aloof at school and unapproachable. Many of classmates are afraid of her. She absolutely despises discussing her father’s works as she blames him for her horrible and lonesome childhood. She creates dark and tragic stories to reflect her own feelings towards the world. Nina cannot connect with her classmates because she fears them rejecting her and leaving her alone.

Nico Moreau (The Count’s Son with his mother's maiden name)

As a child - Curteous and inclusive, he always tried to keep the peace among the kids. Never a fussy child. He did whatever was asked of him and thoroughly respects his father. 

As a teenager- Keeps up with all the happenings at the school, especially anything related to the other vampires. He is the one tasked with making sure that Alaina doesn’t kill any other students. He is suspected to be the next student council president after Lyric graudates as his classmates find him to be gentle and kind and very smart. He hides his own bloodlust well. He falls only 3rd behind Alaina and Owen in thirst level, but he has the most self control.

Lucien D’Arc

As a child- A follower of the other kids. He never stood out, and was called lazy most of the time. The only game he ever excelled at was hide and seek, and he  loved to be the seeker, feeding off the others fear of being found. Had a tendency to harm small animals. 

As a teenager- Learned sword play but finds it tedious and dull. Has a sadistic side. He loves human girls because of the smell of their blood when they are frightened. Rarely follows through with drinking their blood, finding satisfaction in bringing them to the brink of breaking from their fears. 

The kids are all going to the academy under the family name Moreau so that no one questions their original surnames. 

The kids are not set in stone fully, as they might get more siblings or they might slightly change. 

And there you have it! All my current ocs for the game! 

Let me know which ones you are most interested in! ^_^

-Ruka

[meetthetank]

Peccatum Chapter 10: The Engine in the Woods

Rating: Mature Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Category: F/M Fandom: NieR: Automata (Video Game) Relationships: 2B/9S (NieR: Automata), A2/A4 (NieR: Automata), Jackass/The Commander (NieR: Automata) Characters: 2B (NieR: Automata), 9S (NieR: Automata), A2 (NieR: Automata), A4 (NieR: Automata), 6O (NieR: Automata), 21O, Jackass (NieR: Automata), The Commander (NieR: Automata) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe, genre typical violence, long fic, Slow Burn, War

“Wow. Okay 11S, you win the bet,” 801S grumbles, fishing a handful of coins out of his pockets.

“Honestly I’m just as surprised as you are. I can barely talk to you guys for a mile straight, let alone fifteen,” he gestures to 9S and 2B who walk ahead of the group.

“They’re attached at the hip and they don’t even know.”

“They don’t have a clue.”

32S sighs, “If they end up together that’s one less scout in the group. We’d be down to the four of us.”

“Give Nines some credit,” 801S says, “It’s not like him to just leave his friends for a pretty girl.”

“Except that’s exactly what just happened.”

11S points to 9S veering off into the dense forest with 2B following close behind.

“Oh I’m gonna kill him.”

Despite being in the middle of a grueling march into uncertainty, 9S has an infectious spring in his step. He and 2B lead the scouts by nearly a mile for no other reason than they haven’t noticed.

They talk the entire time; well, 9S talks the entire time. 2B occasionally chimes in on something he says, but for the most part she walks in silence. The difference is that she looks at him with that adorable head tilt and a curious gaze . She seems actually interested in what he has to say, listening to him go on and on about the most inane of topics, such as his endless attempts to beat the Commander in gungi, and it makes his heart flutter.

It’s not the first time 9S has felt this kind of puppy love, far from it, but this is the first time that someone has reciprocated. Or at least he thinks she reciprocates. Sometimes he has trouble differentiating between what’s real and what’s imagined.

He knows he’s not imagining the subtle upward twitch of her lips when he starts rambling off about his list of strategies for the next gungi match.

“Maybe I should teach you how to play one day.” he says to her, smiling from ear to ear.

“Uh...I’m not sure I’d be much of a challenge.”

“Aw, it’s not about the challenge, it’s about having fun!”

“You were just comparing beating your commander to ‘a light genocide’.”

“Yeah but that’s different.” 9S scoffs and waves his hand dismissively, “That’s a rivalry that spans years!”

“Does White know that?”

“Not yet.”

2B covers her mouth with her hand, stifling a giggle. 9S feels his jaw go slack and his whole world slow to a crawl. He’s never heard her laugh before, let alone at something he said. Heat rises in his cheeks and his ears, and he swears his heart skips a beat or two.

“Are you trying to catch flies like that?” she teases.

“I-...uh- No just-....” 9S stammers, “Yawning.”

2B simply cocks an eyebrow up but doesn’t press him further. Shaking the stupor away, he jogs back to her side and tries to smooth over the awkward silence with whatever comes to his mind first. However, a sharp pain stabs at the base of his skull, making him hiss through his teeth.

“9S? What’s wrong?” 2B asks and places a hand on his shoulder.

“Nothing, nothing,” he lies, “Just uh...got the sun in my eyes.”

“...It’s been overcast all day.”

He looks up if only to avoid making eye contact with her, “Ah, so it is…”

They lapse into silence once again while 9S forces himself through the piercing headache. Simply walking in a straight line becomes difficult and he ends up bumping into 2B on more than one occasion. He believes he hears her tell him to stop and rest, but he just waves his hand dismissivly. It’s hard to hear anything over the sound of his own pulse.

Except for...something. The faint giggling of children and dissonant tones of some bizarre instrument. It makes his skin crawl and the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. The forest, the well trod path, even 2B all blur together as the sounds grow louder. Dread takes hold of 9S’ heart when something red flashes in the corner of his vision. His hand flies to the hilt of his spear and 2B follows suit with her own blade out of reflex, but the only thing lurking in the shadows are small forest animals.

“...9S?”

“I’m...fine.”

Just behind where 2B stands, he sees them. Those two girls in red. They flash in and out of his vision, laughing at him. Taunting him. 9S stops in his tracks and shuts his eyes. In the past, these hallucinations would pass on their own if he just sat down and thought about anything else. Breathe in through the nose, out through the mouth. All he has to do is wait and they’ll go away on their own. Don’t listen to their laughter, don’t listen to what they tell him to do. 

Don’t listen to what they say about 2B.

Their words make him sick to his stomach, not just from content alone, but they feel as if they’re being poured into his ears. He could do everything in his power to block his hearing, and the giggling of those awful girls would still pierce inside his head

You there...boy.

A deep bellowing voice cuts through his mind. The visions dissipate as the voice echoes against the forest. Even 2B stops in her tracks, the downy feathers hidden beneath her hair shifting and giving it the impression of volume. 

Little spawn. Who are you?

A breeze blows through the trees from a deeper part of the forest, far off the trail, bringing with it the smell of wood and various flora. Nostalgia wells up in 2B’s chest at the scent alone and she almost finds herself wandering in the direction of the wind by instinct alone. The only reason she stops is to not abandon 9S.

Come here, little one. Leave the reptile behind.

However, 9S brushes right past her and into the forest.

“9S?” she calls after him and follows the path he creates through the brush.

2B follows close behind, deftly navigating the uneven terrain where 9S stumbles and crushes branches underfoot. She calls his name and even tries to stop him physically, but he keeps pushing his way further and further in. 

Not far now, Little Spawn.

The booming voice in 9S’ head is oddly calming, like the voice of the kindly grandparents he never had, or a groaning old oak tree. It’s so much different than the girls in red that he has to know the source. He moves in a trance, barely aware of 2B following him or the twigs and thorn bushes that prick at his legs. The forest becomes so dense that it blocks out most of the sunlight and simply walking becomes difficult. Bird songs and the leaves in the wind are just as deafening as the droning voice drawing him further in.

They come to a wall of foliage, thick ivy and gnarled branches that blocks their progress, but just as 2B begins to urge him to turn back 9S takes a small hatchet out off his belt and begins hacking away at the shrubs. With a sigh, 2B begins helping by slashing a path through at a much faster pace. 9S pays her no mind, too far entranced by whatever he’s feeling to notice her, until 2B yanks him through the hole she carved into the dense foliage.

Whatever she was expecting it certainly wasn’t this.

In the middle of a massive clearing sits the corpse of some sort of creature. Nature covers most of its body, but 2B can make out the shape of its armored shell from which great pipe like structures jut out, and six legs as thick as the oldest tree trunks. The hundreds of jagged claws that cover its feet could be mistaken for ancient stones as well as the teeth that sit in the center of its long leathery neck. The only thing that stands out and isn’t covered in forest growth is the smooth black thing at the end of its neck. 

Just the sight of this corpse ignites a deep rooted fury within 2B. She has no idea where the feeling came from, but all of the sudden she wants to destroy what remains of it. To grind it into dust and leave nothing standing. No trace of this...thing that doesn’t belong in this world. 

...Doesn’t belong in this world…

She’s felt this before, this instinct. 

So why doesn’t he illicit this?

9S stands in awe of the corpse, dwarfed by the sheer mass of it. He barely comes up to the tip of the glassy structure, and each of its teeth are as big as he is. Never in his life did he’d see something like this, even in an army meant to fight monsters. Is this thing even real? The only thing he can do to be sure is to reach out and…

The moment his hand touches the glassy surface a low hypnotic drone reverberates through his whole body, and causes the girls in red to vanish completely from his mind. Even their whispers and giggles fade into nothingness. 9S leaps backwards when six, glowing green eyes flicker to life just beneath his hand. They shift in position in pattern, until they arrange themselves in a V shape pointing directly at him.

Something rattles in 9S’ skull like the droning noise that this creature makes but far more articulated and potent. He recoils back only to lose his footing when 2B throws him behind her, sword drawn and a growl in her throat.

“Hmph,” the beast says, a large cloud of steam leaving its mouth, “You carry our blood, yet do not speak our tongue?”

2B lets out a snarl and raises her sword to strike, still keeping herself between 9S and this massive creature.

“Stow your fangs, reptile. I cannot harm you.” it says, “My body has been broken for a long time.”

“2B, put the sword away,” 9S says, putting his hand on her tense shoulders, “If it wanted to hurt us it would have done so already.”

She snarls at him but reluctantly sheaths her sword in her back scabbard. Her eyes never waver from their lock on the massive creature’s body. 9S tries to put himself in between it and 2B, but a low hiss from her keeps him in place next to her.

“What are you?” 9S asks.

It lets out a low sound that’s similar to a laugh, “I thought I smelled ape on you. Only they would be so ignorant. I am Engine 34287 Batch 57. I believe the apes called my kind City Breakers or Engles.”

“Engles...I’ve heard about you. Or...not specifically you, but about City Breakers. I had no idea you were...living things.”

“Feh,” Engles laughs,  “Demons are as alive as apes and the creatures of this realm. Though we are manufactured and cultivated, we live just the same.”

“Manufactured?” something akin to disgust and hate rises in 9S’ gut, “You mean demons are...products?”

“We are weapons. Each of us has a purpose, a function we are designed to do. I was meant to break down the crude walls of your capitals, but as you can see I did not live to fulfill that purpose.”

“I don’t understand,” says 9S, stepping closer to it, “Did something stop you? Some weapon harmed you?”

“HA! No ape construct could pierce my hide. No, my body could not handle the strain of this world. My legs ceased functioning not long after I entered.” 

“Did anyone try to fix you?”

Engles shifts its head to the right and then the left, “No. My escort legion left me to rot, as I was no longer of use. The Terminals stopped giving me instructions not long after.”

“The Terminals?” he says, “You mean the girls in red? You see them too?!”

2B shoots him a strange look at the mention of his hallucinations. He’ll have to remember to assure her he isn’t crazy. Probably.

“Saw. Of course I saw them, ape. They are our creators. Our masters. Even one with infernal blood as diluted as yours would hear their call.”

9S feels sick to his stomach. The thought of finding himself in any way similar to the demons repulses him to his very core. A portion of his back, where his tail would be if it were visible, begins to ache with the phantom pains of attempted self mutilation. With great effort he suppresses the nausea and hatred for the sole purpose of gathering more information directly from the mouth of the enemy.

“Why...why didn’t you call for help?”

“Oh I did, little ape, I did. I called for...I don’t recall how long I called for help. Eventually I accepted my fate and found peace here as the forest grew around me. I became a home for many creatures I once found vile. Your realm is...far more beautiful than I believed,” Engles laboriously turns his head to 2B, “It only took me some centuries to see why your kind defended this place so fiercely, reptile.”

2B can’t hide the shock in her expression. Never in her life would she expect a demon to...understand. 

“Wait, what?” 9S interrupts, “I don’t get it. In every story I’ve read about the past Demon Wars, it was always the Angels that turned the tide.”

“In major battles, yes, but the High Enochians could care less about your realm. They only wish for us to fail, as it has been since the Alpha Terminal came into being. No, the Apes owe their continued existence in this realm to the Dragons.”

“That’s…” he stammers as memories fill his mind, “Wait, what about the red dragon? The one that burned down all those cities and townships not less than...twenty years ago?”

“Hm…” Engles rumbles, causing a flock of birds to scatter from the various pipes on its back.

“The General of our army lead a campaign to try and combat it, but it ended in failure,” 9S squares his shoulders and takes a deep breath, “If what you said is true, why would a dragon side with you and suddenly start attacking human homes?”

Engles’ eyes flicker for a moment before refocusing on 9S, “My memories are fractured, but I do recall the Terminals negotiating a contract with an ambitious reptile.”

Just one answer launches a thousand more questions in 9S’ mind and he’s about to begin interrogating the demon further, but a voice echoes through the forest that fills him with panic.

“Nines?! 9S where the hell are you?!”

There’s no mistaking 801S’ voice, laced with annoyance.

“Shit. How far did we wander?” 9S hisses to himself.

“I don’t know, I was following you to make sure you didn’t fall into a pit or something.” 2B grumbles.

“We can’t let them find Eng-...the demon. They’d kill him outright and we’d lose enemy intelligence.”

“I have thought myself too proud to ask things of a reptile and a mongrel ape but...please. Keep this place a secret. I do not have much power left. I wish to die peacefully, and forever be a home for these creatures of the forest.”

9S and 2B hesitate, hearing the last wish of something they both consider a monster makes their chests tighten.

“...Of course,” 2B says with a solemn nod.

Engles lets out a long sigh and rests its head on the ground, “Thank you, Dragon. Perhaps, if I am still alive, you could visit me? It’s...nice to talk to someone again.”

“Yeah, we’ll visit,” says 9S as he’s pulled by the arm by 2B.

“Farewell then...friends.”

“There you two are!” 801S shouts as 2B and 9S emerge from the dense underbrush, “Where the hell did you wander off to?!”

“Easy, easy!” 9S responds, holding his hands up defensively, “We went to investigate a disturbance I heard deeper in the woods.”

“Why didn’t you call for backup then?” asks 32S.

“I mean...I had 2B with me.”

“Yeah, we know,” 801S accuses.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!”

“You know damn well what I mean!” he jabs his finger at 9S’ chest, “This is war! This isn’t a game you can just ditch to go elope in the woods with some harlot!”

2B bristles quietly but refuses to speak. Keeping her gaze forward she begins to walk away from the group, only to be followed by 9S and the rest of the scouts.

“She’s not a harlot!!-...” 9S shouts then stops himself before he lets his anger get the best of him, “I told you, there was a disturbance deeper in the woods and we went to investigate! If there was a problem I would have doubled back for help!”

“Whatever,” 801S grumbles, “Just go get on point.”

801S storms back to the other scouts, leaving 9S fuming alone. The nauseating mixture of self loathing, dread, and anger makes him tear up just a touch. He wipes his eyes with his scarf before miserably plodding back to 2B, ignoring the red flickers in the corner of his vision.

(Biiig shout out to @nierly-amazing for the sketch of lovely Engles!!)

[afjakwritesarchive]

Title: A Wonderful Prize (1/2) Pairing: USUK Words: 3,392 Rating: T AU: Royalty Genre: Romance Summary: Arthur Kirkland, a castle servant, enters the Spades Tournament in order to compete for the Crown Prince of Spades, Alfred. A/N: This is a two part-fic, so be watching out for Part 2 soon! :)

"Alright, everyone!" Came the loud voice of the announcer throughout the crowd. Every head turned, all conversation stalling. "Day one of the tournament begins in fifteen minutes! Everyone line up in order and be ready to present your gift to his highness the Crown Prince Alfred of Spades!" Said the woman before turning on her heel and marching out of the competitor's tent.

Immediately, all of those inside scrambled to find their position in line. Arthur merely sighed; being that he had been the last person to sign up for the tournament, he was the last in line. He walked calmly to the edge of the tent, watching as all of the competitors in front of him scrambled to get in position based on the number they'd been given with amusement. Most of those in line were carrying extravagant gifts for the Prince, the majority covered in jewels or gold and quite large in comparison to Arthur's simple gift, which he held tightly in order to ensure the safety of.

"Alright, first up! State your name and title to me and I will announce you, then wait until his highness nods to come forward and present him with your gift. Remember: NO live animals may be given as gifts!" As the announcer said it, a kitten mewled from somewhere within the line and a man let out a cry of frustration before stomping out of the tent. The announcer rolled her eyes and motioned for the first competitor to come forward.

Arthur waited with boredom as the line of suitors slowly diminished, fiddling with whatever was around as he waited for his turn. Finally, after almost forty-five minutes of waiting, it was Arthur's turn to be announced. The announcer looked bored and somewhat annoyed as she took Arthur's name. When prompted for his title, the Brit merely shook his head. She looked from his face down to the gift he held in his hands and then back up to him, now with pity in her eyes. She announced Arthur and the Brit ducked through the tent.

At the sight of Alfred, Arthur's heart stalled. The young prince looked absolutely radiant. He was dressed from head to toe in the finest clothes Spades had to offer; everything navy blue and accented with gold, topped off with an extravagant and shining crown placed upon his gorgeous golden hair. A knee-weakening smile came to his face as he motioned Arthur forward.

Suddenly nervous, Arthur approached the Prince and took a knee, holding his gift out for the man. It was a dozen red roses, immaculate and beautiful, their stems together with a golden bow.

"Your highness," said Arthur in a shaky voice, "I selected these for you because I have seen you admire the roses in the palace garden often." Arthur said, bowing his head.

The roses were lifted from his hands and Arthur raised his head to find Alfred smiling as he pressed his nose into the flowers, his eyes closed as he appreciated the scent. The Brit went pink in the face, finding the sight completely heart-melting.

After a moment, Alfred's captivating blue eyes fluttered open and fixed on the man kneeling before him. His eyes were sparkling with interest and pleasure, clearly happy with the gift he'd received and intrigued by the man who had given them to him. He laid the roses gently in his lap and gazed at Arthur with a sweet smile upon his face.

"You work in the castle," said Alfred.

Surprised that the Prince recognized him, Arthur floundered momentarily. Then, face reddened, "y-yes, your highness."

"You're a gardener, aren't you? Arthur, right?" Asked Alfred with a cheerful smile.

Alfred tried not to display his surprise at being remembered by Alfred. "Y-yes, that's correct, your highness."

"Why have you entered the tournament, Arthur?" Questioned Alfred with interest.

Again, Arthur found himself astonished. Alfred had hardly spoken to any of the other competitors outside of two lines; "thank you" and "good luck". To have Alfred deviate from this in order to ask Arthur special questions flustered the gardener, and he found himself unable to speak as smoothly as he'd practiced.

"I-I simply want you to be free, your highness." Answered Arthur, not speaking of what had prompted him to join the competition.

A week prior, only hours before sign-ups for the tournament closed, Arthur had been tending to the garden when he'd heard sniffling. Upon investigation, he'd noticed Alfred sitting beside his elder brother with his head in his hands, crying. Not wanting to intrude but far too curious to walk away, Arthur had hidden behind a particularly thick and tall bush to listen.

"What am I gonna do, Mattie?" Alfred had said. "All of these people want to marry me, and I don't want any of them. I-I'm not ready to get married yet! And I w-wanna be married for love!"

Matthew laid a hand on his brother's shoulder, frowning sympathetically. "Don't worry, Al. I'm sure someone great'll win the tournament and everything will work out. Maybe they won't even request to marry you." He suggested optimistically.

"You know that won't happen!" Cried Alfred in response. "I-I just wish I could have the freedom to make my own choice. Being the Crown Prince sucks."

"Al..." Matthew murmured gently.

Alfred shook his head. "You wouldn't get it. You married the King of Diamonds and got out of it. I don't blame you, I just wish I could marry someone I love too..." Alfred mumbled around tears.

Hearing Alfred so anguished, and having admired the Prince for several years, Arthur had decided then and there that he would win the tournament for Alfred's sake. Although all the other competitors were there for Alfred's hand, really the winning prize was one request granted to the winner by the current King of Spades, Alfred's father. Traditionally, the request had always been to marry the King's heir, usually the one set to ascend the throne. Arthur, however, planned to request that Alfred be given another two years to select and court any suitor of his choosing.

Thus, Arthur had rushed to town and sighed up for the tournament only minutes before sign-ups had closed, determined to win for Alfred's sake.

Now, the Prince was gazing at Arthur with wonder. "My freedom...?" He echoed in wide-eyed astonishment. "What do you mean?"

Arthur built the courage to look into Alfred's eyes and spoke. "I mean that you are far too wonderful to be reduced to a prize."

Alfred blinked, seeming completely shocked by Arthur's response. After a second or two of simply staring at his servant, Alfred's handsome face was split by a wide grin. His brilliant smile practically blinded Arthur with its radiance, the expression so infectious that Arthur grinned back at him, face burning.

"Well, Arthur, good luck to you and thank you for the roses. I will be rooting for you." Promised the Prince with a flirtatious wink.

Arthur's heart flipped. He stuttered out an incomprehensible farewell, bowed to Alfred, and scurried out of his tent red with embarrassment.

The next day, the actual competition began. Being that eighty-two suitors had come to compete for Alfred's hand, the first three challenges were based solely on the success of the suitor. If they managed to complete the task, they could move on—if not, they were immediately disqualified. After the third round, there were only around fifteen suitors left, at which point the point system began wherein up to ten points per challenge would be awarded based on the suitor's performance. At the end of the competition—which lasted an additional four rounds—the points of each suitor would be added and the one with the most points would be the winner.

The first challenge was a simple one—a conversation with the Prince. Over the course of several hours, each suitor would speak to the Prince for five minutes. Neither those who followed the competition nor the competitors knew what would be deemed success or failure, and every competitor seemed somewhat anxious, including Arthur.

Wanting to relax a bit before he was set to speak to the Prince, Arthur trekked down to a small, secluded stream that ran along the outer edge of the palace garden and into the forest which surrounded it. It was a site which very few knew about, and Arthur was pleased to find that no one was around when he arrived. The Brit seated himself upon the soft grass and leaned against a tree behind him. He felt soothed by the softness of the natural world, his nervousness declining.

"...Arthur?"

Arthur jolted, whipping around. His heart rate immediately skyrocketed, noting Prince Alfred himself standing a few feet away wearing a confused smile.

"Ah—" Arthur immediately twisted around took a knee, bowing his head. "Your highness, I-I—It's nice to see you."

Alfred seemed somewhat amused by the Brit's nervousness. "You too," he said, stepping closer. "What are you doing all the way out here?"

Arthur rose to his feet and tentatively met Prince Alfred's knee-weakening blue eyes. "Well, I'm the last one to go, and I'm not scheduled to go for quite a while, so I figured I'd calm my nerves a bit beforehand... If I may ask, what brings you here? I thought you would be with a suitor."

"Well, I probably should be, but I was getting a little bored. I needed a break. As much as I like talking to people, the constant flirting gets old." With that said, the Prince shrugged off his cape—an item Arthur had never seen Alfred wear outside of extremely formal occurrences or special events—and let it fall to the grass.

"I'm sure it does," Arthur said, nodding sympathetically. "I'm sorry to add to it."

Alfred shook his head. "No, no, don't worry about that! You being last gives me something to look forward to! If more of these suitors were like you, I probably wouldn't mind this so much."

Arthur's green eyes widened to the size of saucers, astonished by the Prince's kind words. Against his will his pale face turned red and he found himself looking to the grass beneath his feet, far too embarrassed to maintain eye contact with the handsome Prince. "I—W-Well, thank you, your highness, though I'm unsure of what I could have possibly done to deserve such praise from you."

At that, Alfred seemed somewhat offended. "Don't put yourself down like that!" He scolded. "You're one of the only people who seems sincere out of the whole group. And you gave me the most thoughtful gift out of everyone yesterday. Everyone else just gave me gifts meant to flaunt their wealth and status. They all think they can buy my affection, like I'm so shallow that all I want out of a marriage is money." Alfred said, his distaste for the entire process made evident by his words.

"Well, for starters, I am completely sincere in my efforts," said Arthur in response to Alfred's earlier words. "Secondly, I understand why this must be terrible for you. Not only is their logic rather flawed—I mean, you're the Prince of Spades, after all. You have more than enough money to buy anything and everything they've brought you. But even further, it must hurt to think there's a chance you'll be sold off to someone who cares for little other than status. Most of these competitors see you as a prize. They have no respect for who you are or what you've done and will continue to do for Spades.

I've worked here since you were barely fifteen, and even then you were always trying your hardest to improve Spades in whatever you can. I remember the unveiling of your first project—the starter houses for Spades citizens in poverty. It was amazing. And you were only fifteen and a half at the time! You have always utilized your wealth to improve in Spades. I can only hope that at least half of your suitors understand the good that lies within you. It would be a shame for you to marry someone who couldn't understand how dedicated and passionate you are about improving the lives of your people."

When Arthur stopped, Alfred was staring at him in wide-eyed shock, his gorgeous mouth agape and his suntanned cheeks red. Noting the Prince's surprise, Arthur blushed and bowed his head again, embarrassed by what he'd said.

"I apologize, your highness, I didn't mean to ramble on or embarrass you," said Arthur bashfully.

Alfred reached out, taking Arthur's hand in his. Much to the Brit's shock, Alfred pulled his hand toward his chest and held it between both of his. Alfred's eyes were still wide, and he was gazing at Arthur as if he were seeing something truly extraordinary.

"That was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me," said Alfred softly, as if his breath had been stolen away.

Arthur's eyes were equally wide and he flushed. "O-Oh, I'm sure there has been much better things. Surely every suitor you've spoken to has said nicer things than—"

A horn suddenly sounded and Alfred jerked away from Arthur, blinking. "Shit," he said, shaking his head. "That's Yao telling me my break's up. I have to go." Alfred rushed toward his cape, hurriedly pulling it over his shoulders. He began to turn away and then halted, looking over his shoulder at Arthur. "I can't wait for your turn, Arthur! Good luck!" Exclaimed the Prince before he hurried off.

Arthur merely brought the hand Alfred had held to lay over his heart and watched him leave with a dopey smile.

"Alright! Kirkland?" Called the announcer, walking into the competitor's tent.

Arthur stood. "Present."

"You're up." The announcer jerked their head toward the exit and Arthur followed her out.

They walked to a tent not far off. It was clearly Alfred's temporary set up for the day, if the navy blue coloring and golden accents which adorned the tent were any indication of the royalty within.

"Wait here. A suitor will exit, and then his highness Prince Alfred will let you in. Do you have a gift ready?"

Arthur blinked, surprised. "A gift?" He echoed, shocked.

The announcer rolled her eyes. "His majesty the king stated that he expected each suitor to present his son, his highness Prince Alfred, with a gift which showcases an interest of theirs. Didn't you read your copy of the rule book?" She asked.

Arthur flushed, embarrassed and frustrated with himself. "I—N-No, but I will make sure to after this. Please, what are the requirements for the gift?"

She sighed. "I'm not supposed to give you any advice, but... First of all, Prince Alfred can only send twenty-five suitors home per day in the first three rounds, but he told me he'd have disqualified over half by now. No suitor received above a 'good' rating for him aside from one: Prince Ivan of Clubs, who received a 'perfect'."

Arthur blinked, surprised. If he recalled, there were two ratings in between 'good' and 'perfect'. For Alfred to rate every other suitor that much lower than Prince Ivan must mean that Alfred was actually impressed by Prince Ivan. The mere thought of someone else managing to woo Prince Alfred caused jealousy to flare up within Arthur, and he looked intently to the announcer. "What did Prince Ivan get him?" He questioned urgently.

"A scarf which he made himself, which had a sunflower pattern on it." The announcer answered.

Arthur frowned. "I don't understand. Haven't suitors given him jewels or valuables? What use does he have for a handmade scarf?"

The woman shrugged. "His highness received plenty of extremely expensive gifts today, but to him it's not about usefulness. It's about the meaning of the gift the effort put forth. According to his highness, it was clear that Ivan had showed him a very personal piece of himself. In fact, Alfred allowed their conversation to carry on for an additional three minutes past the time limit."

Arthur's jaw dropped. He'd expected there to be competition for Alfred, yes—but the thought of someone managing to sincerely romance Alfred made his blood boil. He nodded at the announcer and thanked her extensively, grateful for her help. She patted him on the shoulder with a sympathetic smile and walked off, leaving Arthur to wait.

Not a moment later, a suitor exited Alfred's tent, followed by the Prince himself.

"Arthur!" Alfred exclaimed happily. "God, am I glad to see you! C'mon in," the Prince said, beckoning Arthur in and holding the makeshift cloth doorway aloft for the Brit to enter.

Arthur ducked under Alfred's arm, trying not to let his nervousness show as he desperately racked his brain for anything he could gift Alfred with.

"So, I hope you're feeling a little more relaxed now," Alfred said as he moved toward a table placed in the center of the luxuriously outfitted tent. He sat down on one side and invited Arthur to sit down across from him.

"Yes, your highness, thank you," Arthur lied.

"Good. Anything to drink? Red wine, white wine, water..." Alfred asked.

"No, thank you, your highness. How has your day been?" Questioned Arthur in return.

"Well, I've spent almost seven hours talking to suitors, but it wasn't so bad. There were a few that actually did a pretty good job," Alfred said with a wry smile.

"Oh? What gifts were you pleased with?"

"Well, I'd say there were about fifteen people who gave me really cool gifts. One suitor gave me a painting she did of the land outside her bedroom window and she explained in great detail why it was important. My favorite gift so far was a scarf one of them made for me. It was pretty, and had a lot of significance to him."

"That sounds lovely," Arthur said, and resisted the urge to squirm as he continued to agonize over his lack of a gift for Alfred.

"Yeah, it was pretty thoughtful. So..."

From there, conversation flowed easily between the two. By the time time was called, Alfred was practically keeled over with laughter, Arthur in a similar state. The pair both looked up at the sound of Yao's horn and Alfred shook his head at his advisor.

"We're almost done! Arthur just has to present his gift to me and then I'll be done, I swear," said Alfred with a sheepish smile.

Yao merely sighed, rolling his eyes at the young Prince. Arthur expected Alfred to be put off by his advisor's rudeness, but Alfred only laughed as Yao exited the tent.

"Alright, I'm sorry to cut this short but he's been crabby ever since he had to drag a really clingy guy out of here by the ear a little bit ago," said the Prince with a chuckle. "So, if you would please present me with whatever you brought for me and explain it a little."

"W-Well, I..." Arthur floundered. "What I've brought for you... Is... Something that can't be touched. I..." Arthur gazed at Alfred's wonderful face and, suddenly, an idea came to him. "What I've brought for you is poetry. Now, I must tell you before we begin that I did not write this poem: it is merely a favorite of mine. It's significant and personal to me because it was the poem that inspired my love of writing. He's not my favorite poet—that title is reserved for Shakespeare—but I admire his works and am extremely grateful to him for the passion he introduced into my life. By reading his poetry, I understood what it meant to convey extreme and intense emotion through written words. Since then, I have harbored a deep love for writing, and hope to make a career out of it someday. With that said, I present to you my gift: Sky-Circles, by Rumi."

With that, Arthur recited the poem. Alfred listened raptly, giving the Brit his full attention. When Arthur finished, Alfred beamed at him; a sincere, affectionate smile that made Arthur's heart flutter in his chest.

"I've never cared for poetry all that much, but that was beautiful. Thank you, Arthur. I can't wait to see you for Round Two tomorrow." Said the Prince with a smile.

Arthur left Alfred's tent with a spring in his step.

[thisislizheather]

Navigating November 2020

Wonderful, another month has come and gone. It’s hard to tell when I’m in a bad mood these days. I feel like all of my moods are sprinkled with bits of sadness since it’s been such a rough year on everyone. It seems hard to be hopeful and optimistic for the coming months because of everything that has gone on already, but I think I’ll continue on with my internal mantra of “fake it ‘til you make it” - that’s healthy, right? In any case, here’s what happened last month:

I usually don’t mention the things that I don’t do, but this one is notable: I didn’t have the Thanksgiving croissant from Milk Bar this year (because I’m in Canada at the moment). So this is really just a reminder to myself to go hog-wild on them next November.

I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned them before, but the ready-made roast beef sandwiches at San Remo’s in Etobicoke? A PERFECT SANDWICH.

I rewatched the original (better) Jumanji and goddamit what a great movie. How did I forget what a perfect movie that was? Miss Robin Williams so much. Which reminds me: I gotta rewatch Jack soon (Coppola’s greatest movie, in my humble opinion). Haven’t seen that one in ages.

Some thoughts on how to have a less expensive Christmas.

Love the new “Oat Milk Latte” nail polish colour at Urban Outfitters. Something about a boring neutral has been really turning me on lately.

The best new hand lotion I’ve used in a long time: this Kiehl’s Hand Salve. I put it on once in the morning and once before bed and it’s crazy how soft it makes them, even if you wash your hands numerous times a day (which, god, I hope you’re doing).

I know that I tend to live in the past at times, but are you ever needing to print some photos fast and don’t know where to get it done? Years ago, they had machines at Shoppers and then they disappeared. And I just discovered that Staples has those print-right-now machines! It takes seconds to print from your phone and it’s crazy cheap. I think you can only get 4 x 6 in size, but still. That’s great!

I’ll always love Cobs Bread (thanks to Marla years ago for introducing me) but I just tried their garlic focaccia and my god. Heavenly. It also makes a great base for any kind of at-home grilled cheese or even an at-home garlic bread using garlic butter.

So I tried the Popeye’s chicken sandwich that people were stabbing each other for and… I fully understand the murdering mentality. It’s an incredible chicken sandwich. I was expecting not to understand the hype, but here I stand before you, four chicken sandwiches deep.

I’ve been consistently using the Luna Night Oil from Sunday Riley (a small version that came with a gift set) and I think it’s really working well. My skin looks amazing in the morning after each use. So I might bite the bullet and buy the full size when I run out.

Just so sad to see Alex Trebek pass away. Favourite clip, followed by second favourite clip.

I simply cannot stop ordering the vegetable fried rice from Fortune Dragon in Mississauga. Can’t and WON’T.

I had such a terrible experience using Skip The Dishes the other night (there was a problem with an order and the restaurant refused to fix the problem and I was on the phone with STD (hahah, can we all call them this from now on PLEASE) for over an hour, just disgusting). So now they’re banned in our house.

And speaking of annoying food experiences, Scaddabush got rid of the best sandwich on their menu. What. the. hell. It was a prosciutto cotto grilled cheese with Italian cured ham, caramelized onions, mozzarella, and fig jam on a focaccia bun and IT IS NO MORE. I did attempt to make it at home one night and it was actually really good, but still. Who wants to spend their evenings caramelizing onions for hours in the kitchen? Well, I do, for one. But regardless! Bad move, Scaddabush.

I came across these actually helpful, fast TikTok beauty tips.

Excited to visit this new food hall in Long Island City one day.

Love these two new Tierra Whack songs.

I love hearing these kinds of butterfly effect stories, always.

This whole listicle made me laugh.

How on earth can someone build a roller coaster in their backyard? People continue to impress me. This is amazing.

It’s pure and complete trash that chihuahuas never win dog shows. 

Look at this beauty from The National Dog Show.

Considering this beautiful palette for purchase even though I have plans to go nowhere, every night, for the rest of time.

I made these fondant potatoes and they were good! Love a new way to cook a potato.

I watched Coneheads for the first time and it was a surprisingly fun movie. It also happens to be the ultimate pro-immigration movie. Loved it.

I watched the Fresh Prince reunion and it was good! It was nice to see Nicky.

If you’re looking for a dog groomer in Mississauga, I can’t say enough good things about You Lucky Dog Grooming. They cut Baby Dog’s nails perfectly for $10 and it took less than five minutes. They were so gentle and caring, definitely only gonna go here from now on.

There were a few massive holes in the ceiling in my parents basement (an estimate said it would be $1000 to fix) so I went to Home Depot, got the supplies and did it myself. This is something I would never even want to do, let alone actually do, so the fact that it’s fixed now is insane. Here's what it looked like.

Above Photo: This whole job cost $17 from Home Depot. Nothing is impossible.

I made my niece Layla watch Sleeping With The Enemy and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button for the first time and I think she liked both, which obviously I love. Love making people I love watch things I love.

Absolutely in love with this song. And this one, too.

So I got fake nails. Here they are.

Yes, I love them. Yes, they look perfect every single day and that’s amazing. But no one tells you the cons, so let me tell you what they are.

Pressing buttons is an annoyance. The buttons of debit machines especially (I’ve incorrectly put in my pin about three times so far), but also remote controls and car radio dials.

Peeling onions or garlic. Or cutting anything on a cutting board in the kitchen, basically.

You know after a shower when you towel off the wet parts of the inside of your ears? Can’t be done.

All zippers and buttons add at least five minutes to your life.

Look, I’m not an animal but sometimes your nose needs a little cleaning when a tissue ain’t gonna cut it. That being said, it is IMPOSSIBLE to pick your nose with these.

Typing at your regular speed.

Peeling clementines is simply out of the question (which is annoying because they’re so in season right now).

Putting on and taking off necklaces.

And most of all, yes you can still scratch parts of your body, but it’s an unfulfilling scratch. These nails aren’t as sharp as my real ones, so the scratch is lackluster.

That being said, I do love them. I’m not sure if I’ll get them again, but they’re beautiful and I can definitely see the appeal.

I watched a few episodes of Somebody Feed Phil with my brother Robbie and it’s a pretty cute show. I only watched the New York, New Orleans, Venice & San Francisco episodes, but I’m sure I’ll watch the rest soon. I think I liked it because the host really lets the guests be the charming, endearing ones, and most TV hosts aren’t very good at that.

So since we missed both Thanksgivings this year, we picked a random day to do our turkey dinner and this year I did the rub for the bird (Mom handled all the gross stuff) and it came out amazing! Also made my favourite salad dressing (love a shallot in a dressing), this perfect cranberry sauce and best garlic bread. And instead of a whole pie, we just got mini pumpkin tarts from Whole Foods. The next day, I finally made the moist maker sandwich (from Friends) and it turned out really well.

Best tweets of the month can be found over here.

Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: watching the new season of Big Mouth, doing the Polar Drive experience, there have been only two snowstorms so far and I can’t wait for more to come, and I’ve already started baking the chocolate chip Nutella cookies that I love to make this time of year but I want to try something new as well so I’m thinking about giving these ones a try. Christmas will of course be different this year, it’s looking like it’ll be me, my parents (since I’ve been staying here since October), Nathan & Baby Dog on Christmas morning, which actually seems like it might be kind of intimate and nice. It’ll feel wrong in certain ways because I love having my entire family here, but I’m going to try and make the most of it.

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in October over here.

[dailyaudiobible]

4/20/2018 Transcript

Joshua 21:1-22:20; Luke 20:1-26; Psalm 88:1-13; Proverbs 13:15-16

Today is the 20th day of April. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I'm Brian. And it is a pleasure and it is an honor to be here with you today for the next step forward through the Scriptures as we continue to navigate our way through the peaks and valleys that the Bible takes us through as well as allowing the Scriptures to speak to the peaks and valleys of our lives. So it is a pleasure and an honor to be here. We're reading from the Contemporary English Version this week. And we've been navigating for a bit now through the book of Joshua, which finally took us into the promised land. And we're rounding the corner on the book of Joshua. A few more days and we will be through it. But we're not there yet. Today Joshua chapter 21 verse 1 through 22 verse 20. Commentary Okay. So in the book of Joshua, the two and a half tribes that were given land on the other side of the Jordan River back when we were on the trail with Moses before the children of Israel ever came into the promised land… They have finally been given their leave. They've done their duty. They've become rich in the process and they get to go home. And so they do. But when they get to the Jordan River, they build this huge altar, which is causing quite a stir. In fact, so much of a stir that we have... Well, we're gonna get the precipice of civil war. And if that breaks out, that's gonna be a nasty battle indeed. Because these two and a half tribes who are going back across the Jordan,  these are battle-tested warriors at this point. They have been at war with their brothers taking the land all along. So this breaks out, it's not gonna be a good scene. The other tribes, of course, send representatives along with a priest to confront them and that's where we kind of end today. Why have you done this? Why have you built this altar? Don't you know what's going to happen? Don't you know that when we turn our backs on God he holds us all responsible? What is going on here?  And so the Bible gives us a little bit of a cliffhanger. We'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out where the story goes. In the Gospel of Luke, people are asking Jesus similar kinds of questions. Who gives you the right to do the things that you are doing? By whose authority are you doing these things? It's one of these moments.  And obviously the Scriptures tell us that Jesus (never) rolls his eyes or anything like that. We find moments where he's exasperated. But it sort of seems like  one of those kinds of moments where  he's gotta be thinking, is this a serious question?  I mean, the things that are being done are revealing the kingdom of God in this world. People are being restored So Tom didn't give me the right to do these things. Jane didn't give me the right to do these things. What kind of a question is this? Of course, Jesus knows what's going on and there's an incredible amount of envy and an incredible amount of fear around Jesus because he's upsetting the apple car.  He's messing with the authority lines. That wouldn't be that big of a deal except for people are following Jesus now. And very very similar things had happened with John the Baptist. And this is starting to be a problem. Jesus, on the other hand, you know what I mean? We see so many instances where Jesus is asked a confrontational question and he answers back with a question. Or it seems like he answers the question in a way that's like, he's not answering that question. What Jesus is doing, and one of the things about being Christ-like that we need to observe in our own lives, is that Jesus is taking a moment to look at what's really going on, right? These guys didn't just come to Jesus and say, hey we were just curious, how is it that you have this kind of power? Can you share with us how it is that God has anointed you in this way? How did that happen? How did you get this authority? From a serious perspective, they're confronting Jesus with the accusation embedded into the question. And the accusation is, God did not give you this authority, so who did? And embedded within that is a barb. You are not who you say you are. You are an impostor. You are deceiving and tricking these people through magic and we know your game. That's sort of the insinuation there, right?  So Jesus knows they're not coming and asking a straight up question from an honest place. So he knows that he can't simply say my father gave me this authority. This is what I came to do. Because what good is that going to do? They're not going to be like Oh oh oh, okay, cool. We were just wondering. Like that's not how this is gonna go. So Jesus sees the entirety of the situation. And he responds to the truth of the situation. In this case, he asks a question that is going to reveal to the people around and to the people asking the question themselves their own heart in this matter. So he asks, who gave John the right to baptize? Was it God or was it a human being? Alright. A no win situation. They had asked Jesus a no win question. He couldn't just say, my father gave me this authority. That wasn't the answer they were looking for. It was a confrontation. So he flips it back around upon them and puts them in the situation they were trying to put him in. And Jesus wasn't trying to humiliate them or embarrass them in any way. He was simply trying to pull out what was really going on. And when we realize that we have been given the spirit of the risen Christ, the mind of Christ, that if we will slow down, take a beat, invite the Holy Spirit to show us what's really going on, we can be much more Christ like, much more like Jesus in our lives than when we just get all defensive or reactionary. How are we acting in these instances? Which brings us to the Proverbs, which invites us to consider how we're acting. If you have good sense, the Proverb tells us, you will act sensibly, right? You will be sensible. If you have good sense the byproduct is that you will be sensible. But fools act like fools. So let's look at the way that we act today. How do we respond in situations today? What is our reaction? What are our impulses? It will tell us a lot. Prayer And we invite you, Holy Spirit, into that. Cause a lot of the time we react defensively or any number of ways that may in fact be foolish because we didn't just take a second to really try to understand the heart of the matter. And we don't see examples of that happening in your life Jesus. And we wanna be like you in this world as your body, the living breathing body of Christ in this world. We wanna take our place in that story. And that will require that we be like you. And we can't do that without your Holy Spirit obviously. So come Holy Spirit. Show us the ways that we're living disconnected from you and oblivious to what is truly going on. We ask this in Jesus name. Amen. Announcements

Dailyaudiobible.com is the website. It's home base. It's where you find out what's going on around here. If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com.  There's a link on the homepage. I say it everyday, thank you because there's not a day that goes by that I'm not grateful that we're even here. That we're able to do this everyday and make it available everyday. So thank you for your partnership in helping that to continue another day.  There's a link on the homepage. If you're using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the give button in the upper right-hand corner.  Or if you prefer, the mailing address is P.O. Box 1996, Spring Hill, Tennessee,  37174. And as always, if you have a prayer request or comment,  877-942-4253. And that's it for today. I'm Brian. I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community prayer and praise

Hi all. I'm calling about the sister that called anonymously about her marriage. And oh dear sister. And you aren't the only one. There are so many of us husbands and wives that no matter how long we've been in a relationship, we are just ready to give it up because we've done all we can. We've done all we could. We've tried and tried and tried again and it just weared us thin. The thing is now, dear sister, to just love him and to continue on. You still have a life to live even though you're in a relationship. So I'm not sure where you are in your life, but he has been as he is that maybe you can grow as you are and move on on that and that will make it easier for you to accept or maybe make it easier for him to grow. I'm praying for you and all those like you, for relationships I know are so hard. In Jesus name, dear brothers and sisters.

Hey Daily Audio Bible. It's Stanley from Maryland. Man, I just listened to the program and heard little Ezekiel talking to Brian, to the DAB community. And I know it was so, words can't describe. I just think about my life and, you know, being a child, what that was like. And it's just a beautiful beautiful thing to happen. So I really am appreciative about that and just remembering that God is waiting for me to.  He always has his arms open, you know?  I can always run to him. And it is true. I feel like I've always believed the lie that no one's here for me. I've gotta figure things out all by myself. I've gotta do things and do it all by myself. What if... Just what an amazing amazing experience that was. I just want to thank you Brian. Thank you Ezekiel. Thank you God. And thank you community for just being here and sharing this time and these experiences together. God bless everyone. Bye. My beautiful family. This is Pastor Gene from Bradenton Florida. God bless you. Please join me in prayer here. Father, you are such a good God and we love you so much. Plant this from our ( inaudible)  oh God  and may your Holy Spirit help us to pray. Father, I thank you for each and every one of my sisters who went to the More Gathering. Father, I know by my own experience that right after you return Satan will try to steal the seed that has been planted. I pray against that in the name of Jesus. I pray that my sisters will see clearly the ( inaudible) of the enemy and will refuse to let go of the truth and the liberation and the freedom that you've given them this weekend. Father, I thank you for my brother Robert from Indiana. Oh God I bless him. (inaudible sentence) Oh God, I thank you that he is giving out what he received, Father, that led him to Christ. Thank you. Thank you for his passion. I pray with all of my heart, O God, that you will move mightily among them  and that you will do a special work in their lives. To be continued Hey DAB family. It's Dr.  John from Jordan New York. Just wanted to let you know about Cinnamon and thank you for your prayers for her. She had to undergo an emergency C-section. Yes, you can do C-sections on sheep. And she came through that OK,  but we lost both of the lambs. The vet is considering it a miracle that she survived. She didn't think she would be able to save Cinnamon. She thought she might be able to save the lambs. But they both died because her uterus is twisted. So thank you for your prayers on that. Thank you for your prayers for my mom. She has officially gone into hospice. She was doing little bit better. And now she's very comfortable. She's waiting to meet her Lord and savior. She can't wait. But it's gonna be a little bit for my dad to.. He's getting used to this so we have to wait on him. So I think that's the hold up and why mom's still around. So pray for my dad that he will come to acceptance in terms of my mom dying and he'll be prepared and have the people around that he needs. Thank you very much family. Love you very much. Buh-bye. Hello Daily Audio Bible family. This is Teresa in Florida. It's 10 pm on April the 16th. I'm on my way to work. My husband told me before I left to go out the door, a little before that I guess, he doesn't love me. He doesn't have any feelings. He loves me but he doesn't have any feelings for me. I've been trying so hard. Anyway, I need some prayer. I feel guilty for even asking as I know everything anyway. I didn't feel guilty. I know this is what I'm supposed to do. I need your prayers. Pray for my strength Hi,  good evening everyone. This is Shondra calling from Maryland.  I was calling because I was listening to the community prayer. I believe it was from the fourteenth. And to be honest I came on just to listen and I have some things going on and I was hurt, angry, frustrated and I was still gonna listen to the community prayer. However, once I was just sitting there listening, I felt like the loads and the weights were lifted off of me. And I would encourage anyone else who may be going through something and they don't know where to go where to turn just to listen. Just like the introduction says.

[respect-the-wind]

Minnesota Vikings Offseason Blueprint Part I : In-House Moves

What can be said about our Minnesota Vikings’ 2017-2018 season that hasn’t already been spoken? Not much more, considering all you need to know is that most fans likely will develop heart trouble sooner in life now. I’m not writing this to reminisce about the great season our Vikes had, or the massive letdown that ended our dreams one game too early. I’m writing this to say that it’s time to pick ourselves up, brush the dust off, and look onward to what promises to be one of the most important offseasons in Minnesota Vikings history.

Tradition has it that this will be divided into two pieces, the first covering decisions involving coaching staff and in-house player decisions. The second piece will cover what the Vikings should do in free agency and the draft to finally push this team over the proverbial hump. Mix in some of my legendary humor and an interesting assortment of GIFs, and I promise you will only mildly regret reading this. Awwwwwwwww HERE’ GOES!

COACHING

1.) Sign Philadelphia Eagles QB Coach John DeFilippo as Offensive Coordinator

This one was easy, considering it….already happened. However, just because Rick Spielman and co. were able to make the hire happen faster than I can type won’t deter me. DeFilippo was my first choice among the interviewees that included Kevin Stefanski, Sean Ryan, Darrell Bevell, and Dan Campbell. Why?

He brings along a new offensive scheme, likely some from the phenomenal Philadelphia Eagles’ 2017 offense

He helped turn Carson Wentz into an MVP candidate in 2 years, and prepped his injury replacement Nick Foles well enough to defeat Tom Brady in the Super Bowl

He’s a young, fresh mind in a sea of coaching retreads

Stefanski was my second choice, due to his experience at several offensive coaching positions and long tenure in the Vikings organization (it appears as though he will still remain with the team, as interviews with other teams have been blocked.)

It’s also important to note how intent the Vikings were on bringing aboard DeFilippo. They waited until the Super Bowl was over to interview him, which ended up being a few weeks into their search. The interview itself almost seemed a formality, as he was hired that same night. Spielman and Zimmer must have really seen something they liked in his résumé. Alas, bravo, Slick Rick, you made the right move here.

CUTS

1.) RB Latavius Murray

     This move isn’t going to make a lot of sense to you right away, but I’ll get there. Murray had a very slow start to the season, including after starter Dalvin Cook went down with a knee injury. However, he really picked it up in the second half of the schedule, forming a fantastic duo with Jerick McKinnon. However, Murray’s contract was designed to basically be a 1 year deal with 2 more additional team option years. His $5.15 million for 2018 in guaranteed money only becomes official on the 3rd day of the new league year. Murray can likely land a nice deal somewhere else, and the Vikings can use all the extra cash they can get their hands on.

2.) DT Sharrif Floyd

     This one is sad. Floyd showed real promise when he was on the field. Unfortunately, he suffered some sort of nerve damage in his knee during a relatively normal operation. The damage has been bad enough that he has not seen time since the 2016 season opener. This is a seriously cruel fate for a young player to meet. The Vikings have no choice but to move on. The cap savings from this would near $6.8 million and no dead cap hit.

IN-HOUSE FREE AGENTS (Sign or Decline)

1.) RB Jerick McKinnon

     McKinnon is the reason why Murray must be cut. Out of the two, McKinnon shows more athleticism, elusiveness, and speed on the field. His explosive screen plays were a highlight of the season, and the Vikings need his speed in the backfield. However, McKinnon has publicly stated his intention to explore the market in search of a more prominent role. It’s hard to see him landing a starting role somewhere, but he would certainly land a primary backup role somewhere. If the Vikes ditch Murray and give McKinnon that role, he may be inclined to accept it. SIGN

And so we meet again.

2.) CB Terence Newman

     NEWMAN. The ageless wonder followed up a rough ending to 2016-17 with a decent 2018. It’s truly stunning to see a player of that age (39) still playing corner in the NFL. The problem is Newman has become a defensive liability. Wide receivers simply are much faster than him at this juncture, and why wouldn’t players 10 years younger be? The Vikings cannot continue to use Newman as a band-aid, they must improve this position. That all being said, I know deep within my soul that Zimmer is going to bring him back anyway, and I hope it’s as the team’s 4th CB instead of 3rd. SIGN (only because it’s gonna happen anyway)

3.) DT Tom Johnson

Johnson continues to be a beast against the run. It’s unfortunate that he isn’t more helpful against the pass though. The Vikings desperately need some QB pressure from the interior line, and right now there isn’t enough coming from Johnson to help out star nose tackle Linval Joseph. There are a few intriguing options on the free agent market that could have an immediate impact. Decline

4.) G Joe Berger    

     This really isn’t a choice for the team to make. Berger has made his intentions relatively clear that he intended to retire after the 2017-2018 season. The Vikings are going to have to fill this void, which will be somewhat difficult considering Berger has done a very good job during his time. Decline (Retirement)

5.) K Kai Forbath

     Ah, the Kai Conundrum. Forbath missed a plethora of extra points throughout the season, and a few long-distance field goals. I would have banished him to the Chokey if I based his performance in the first half of the season alone. However, it simply cannot be ignored that Forbath was clutch when they needed him most, including in the Divisional playoff game against the Saints. Forbath hit 2 long distance field goals to keep the Vikings in the game just enough for the Minneapolis Miracle to be relevant. Perhaps they bring in some competition, but ultimately he’s earned his spot. SIGN

And that wraps up Part 1 of the Minnesota…..just kidding. Turns out there might be a few more “notable” in-house decisions to cover. By notable, I mean franchise-altering quarterback decisions that will make or break this franchise’s best shot at the Lombardi trophy in decades. No big deal or anything.

 6.) QB Sam Bradford

     The Bradford Experiment was a huge success in the first game of the season, brilliantly mastering the Saints defense for a great victory. The End. That’s how the Story of Sam ends for Minnesota. Undeniably the most talented QB of the three the Vikings had this year, he cannot shake the injury bug. In short, his knee simply cannot be trusted to lead the franchise going forward and the team cannot afford to pin their hopes on him. Decline

7.) QB Case Keenum

     By now you are likely aware of the Curious Case of….Case. The guy did some unbelievable things for the Vikings this year. Keenum has incredible pocket presence, masking most flaws the o-line had. His ability to extend plays was crucial, and he showed undeniable energy and composure as the offense leader. The problem is, it wasn’t enough. Keenum never displayed great arm strength and struggled mightily with deep throws. The offense was incapable of playing from behind, which was a very glaring problem in the NFC Championship game. I’m not blaming Keenum for his shortcomings, because he does the best with what he’s got. I would absolutely love to sign him back as the primary backup, but that will not only NOT happen, it wouldn’t be fair to him. He will likely land a starting gig for a rebuilding franchise with a contract around $20 - $22 million. As thankful as I am for his services this year, it’s a hard but necessary pass. Decline

8.) QB Teddy Bridgewater

     I’m going to dive into the Teddy topic heavy in the next article, so I will keep this short. Teddy completed a miraculous comeback from a gruesome knee injury late this year, making a short and emotional appearance against the Cincinnati Bengals. Drafted as the QB of the future for the Vikings, Bridgewater found himself on the outside looking in while Keenum led the team to a 13-3 record. Simply put (and believe me, it gets much more complicated than this so stay tuned) how do you entrust a franchise in full win-now mode to a QB who has missed nearly 2 years of game action, and was not fully developed prior to the injury? The answer is, you can’t. Decline

Bear with me fellow fans; this will all make sense eventually. This (officially) concludes Part I of the Minnesota Vikings Offseason Blueprint. Part II will be a real doozy, so please stay tuned, and thanks for reading.

[planettaeil]

Title: The 7th Recruit

Title: The 7th Recruit Type: Smuttish (???) Agent!Ten AU Characters: Reader X Ten Warning(s): mild language, MENTION OF VIOLENCE! Word Count: 3, 417 (wow i got carried away)

A/N: I had so much fun writing this one 😄 I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

Summary: There’s only one spot left. Are you gonna get it or is this dangerously handsome man gonna destroy you?

“I heard that they’re looking for the 7th recruit,” your roommate, Kim Doyoung, nonchalantly blurted out as he continued cleaning the sharp knives in his collection, carefully looking for any prints and meticulously wiping it with the cloth. You ran to the living room to where he was comfortably sitting and knelt down beside him.

“Holy shit are you talking about the The Gunpoint?” You couldn’t hide the excitement in your voice as you shook Doyoung’s arms, obviously too impatient to wait for an answer. In result, Doyoung accidentally cut his finger, in which resulted to him growling in pain, and you carefully unlatched your grip.

“Oops.”

With a glare, he drop the knife and went to the bathroom to get the kit. You followed him around, obviously too preoccupied to care about the small cut. “Come on, what about the recruitment?”

“Can you not? I worked so hard not to get another scar on my hand,” he immediately clean the cut and you rolled your eyes.

“Stop overreacting. You won’t die from that tiny scratch,” you sat beside him on the couch and took the golden knife and cloth to help him clean it. “But seriously what do you mean about The Gunpoint looking for the 7th recruit? I thought the examinations were over?”

“Oh, the examinations that you failed last month?” He teased with a smug look on his face and you fought the urge to smash his face in. It was true that you tried out for the examinations last month but unfortunately, you failed to succeed the last task and your dream of becoming an agent of the best secret agent group out there now looked like something you won’t ever achieve.

Their examinations in choosing seven new recruits were pretty intense for someone who just started from an unknown group like you. You knew it was such a big jump to apply at The Gunpoint when you barely started in a small group in your town but dreaming big won’t cost you anything. You knew you had to try and live the life you’ve been dreaming of since you were a child.

The Gunpoint is not your usual group that simply spies or threaten people whom their clients wants to scare. They only work for the biggest international organizations and even the government, and will do anything even if it involves killing someone involved in a serious crime.

Even though they do jobs that are out of this world, they only limit themselves into something that involves serious crimes and threats to the government or huge companies. They don’t do small favours for petty threats to innocent people.

“Are you gonna tell me what happened or should I punch you in the face?”

“Geez. You’re being so violent nowadays,” Doyoung faked a shudder and snatched his collection from you. “Not sure about the entire details tho but all I know is that the 7th recruit was a spy from the rival group. The boss was so furious when the 5th recruit found out and reported it to him but hey, at least he didn’t kill him.”

“Where’s the 7th recruit then?”

“I believe he’s in the interrogation room,” you nodded. Lucky bastard.

“And the head informed me that the 5 other applicants who didn’t succeed last time are given the chance to take the vacant spot. And as for you, you better prepare yourself for the new tests that you’re going to face again,” he flicked your forehead and stood up to go to his room.

You saw a knife that fell from his box earlier and a wild idea came to your mind. “Hey, Doyoung!” You called, throwing the knife to his direction, originally aiming for his head.

As expected, he was quick to dodge it and the sharp object hit the cemented wall and fell to the ground.

“Wow, you’re still fast! This is why you’re my role model!” You slowly clapped and he just rolled his eyes and left, completely not bothered by the fact that you just threw a knife to him.

Doyoung was the 3rd recruit from the previous batch and you practically looked up to him even though you both started at the same time in the same small group from your hometown. He managed to snaked his way to The Gunpoint a year ago and you were seriously so eager to enter it now that you’re given the chance to take it.

Collecting the small knife on the floor, a burning desire to get that 7th spot started to build inside you.

I’m gonna be the 7th recruit. I just know it.

~

The letter that you received earlier that day had not much written in it but you knew exactly what it meant.

To the 7th recruit,

Find Mr. Ten Chittaphon- code blue rose.

-TGP

That was pretty much it but it felt so fucking intense for a recruitment examination. You mentally, and physically prepared yourself for the examination. Looking at the black ink printed on the white paper, you couldn’t help but get excited how TGP (The Gunpoint) already called you the 7th recruit in their letter. It motivated you to do your job correctly, even though it involved almost killing this unknown man named Ten Chittaphon.

You were proud to say that you memorized every single Codes by TGP and according to the letter, they wanted you to track Ten and do whatever you want to get the details from this man and why he’s sabotaging the government even if you have to almost kill this man.

If it was Code Red Rose then you’re up to totally kill him.

After some intensive research, you found out that Ten Chittaphon usually hangs out in this high-end night club near the border, a place where celebrities and politicians hang out to stay clear from public’s eyes. It was known for being too exclusive and strict. You even asked Doyoung, or begged to be exact, to make you a fake ID so you could perfectly blend in. Apparently, it’s difficult for normal people to enter the said club so you had to create a new identity that would link you to a fictitious powerful backer.

Letting out a huge huff and fixing your hair to the side so that your bare shoulders would be perfectly displayed, you strutted your way inside, walking past the guys gawking at your figure like hungry preys. You were simply wearing your only short, tight black dress that perfectly hugged your curves matched with some killer heels to perfect the looks.

You weren’t in for some new fashion trends or anything like that but you certainly didn’t look like a hobo compared to these celebrities going in and out the club sporting nothing but branded clothes.

The ear-splitting music of a foreign song greeted you as the blinding neon lights illuminated the dark dance floor. You could practically see everyone either dancing their drunk ass out or dirty dancing along with the beat, artificial smoke fogging everyone’s view.

It was what made the club exciting but you reminded yourself that you were there to look for a man, and of course, win the 7th spot in TGP. You headed to the counter and ordered yourself some liquor, eyes starting to scan the crowd to find Ten Chittaphon.

Numerous guys approached you to ask for your name or buy you drink, and as much as you want to enjoy, you’re strictly here to focus on your assignment and move on before anyone else could take your spot. After a good 20 minutes of scanning through the foggy and dark room, you froze on your seat when you saw the familiar face of the man you ought to hunt sitting on the couch situated in the reserved booth.

It was as if he made himself available for you.

The strong gaze and pointed nose with his long, disheveled hair perfectly matched the photo given to you by TGP through Doyoung. You knew it was him and wasting your time was the last thing on your list.

Based on the information that you got from people about him, the only way to get on his good side is to offer him something.

You approached him with a curious look, eyeing his whole appearance, which unmistakably screamed wealth, charisma, and power, and thought about how you’re gonna lure him in. Thankfully, he was alone as he sitted comfortably on the leather couch and had a glass of liquor in his right hand to accompany him. His eyes moved to look at you, his body still not moving.

“You look lonely,” you commented, slowly and carefully sitting beside him, making sure to give him a glimpse of what was hidden behind your lacy bra.

“I was waiting for you to come to me,” he replied with a smug look on his face. You were almost surprised that he went along with your words.

He surely knew how to play the game and you readied yourself to level up. With a soft smile, you leaned forward and brushed your lips softly against his ear. “I hope I’m not too late.”

“You’re just in time for me, love,” he moved his head suddenly and had your lips almost touching his instead. He glanced at the dance floor behind you and smiled, the kind that anyone would fall for. “Wanna dance?”

“I would love to,” he stood up and grabbed your hand as you both weaved your way to the crowded dance floor. You were ecstatic at how easy it was for you to have him in your hands already and you had to give more to completely have him alone.

The EDM song came to an end when you were both in the middle and was replaced by a sensual one.

Right.

He immediately had both his hands wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him as the people around you did the same to their partners to perfectly feel the lyrics and beat of the music. He was like preventing other people from touching you and wanted you only for himself as he wrapped both arms around your waist.

You swayed your hips back and forth, making sure to brush it against his clothed member. You don’t know how you managed to act this bold but it’s probably the alcohol doing things for you. He seemed to enjoy it because he pulled you closer to him, his hands digging to your waist through your thin dress.

You turned around, your bare back against his chest, your arms stretching to wrapped it around his neck. You could feel his hot breath fanning against the crook of your neck, his lips hovering just a millimeter away from your skin. You both stayed like that, feeling the sensual beat as your mind raced to the thoughts of doing your task as soon as possible without being too obvious.

“What’s your name, darling?” He whispered, his lips slowly making its way to the back of your ear.

“Call me Rina,” you replied and bit back a laugh as a random assed name escaped from your mouth. You haven’t thought about your alias yet so maybe you’ll get an official one after passing the final examinations.

“Hmm…Rina. I like that name,” you turned around to face him again, your eyes level with his, arms still wrapped around his neck. “I’m Ten, but I’m sure you already know it.”

Oh, how I wish I could attack him right now and get done with my task, you thought.

“Everyone knows you here,” you commented, growing impatient about the whole thing. You just want to get things done as soon as possible, get the 7th spot, go home, and get a long ass sleep. You didn’t care much about how fucking hot and handsome he looked with his white long sleeve shirt and black pants, because passing the examination was your current priority.

But damn, this look should be illegal, you thought as you placed both your palms on his chest, your eyes hinting something that he surprisingly understood.

“Wanna go somewhere…private?”

Yes, finally!

“Got a place on your mind?”

“I think I do,” he replied.

The way to the place where he said would send you to paradise was too steamy to say the least. All you could remember was him lifting you up from your seat effortlessly like you weigh nothing and placed you in his lap in which you happily repositioned yourself so you were straddling him.

He was the one who initiated the kiss as he grabbed your head and captured your lips with his. The kiss was hot and so demanding you couldn’t even have the chance to catch your breath. You spent the entire ride in that position, obviously not caring about Ten’s driver looking at you both through the rear view mirror.

When you got inside Ten’s presidential suite, you wasted no time and unbuttoned his shirt as he carried you to his bedroom, your legs wrapped around his waist. His lips were still tasting yours with his hands roaming your bottom, making you almost forget what your true intentions were.

You had one of your hands tugging his soft, silky black hair to pull him even closer to you and taste the faint sweet minty flavor of his lips while the other struggled to open the remaining buttons.

He dropped you on his bed, his hooded eyes raking through your body like a hungry wolf. You took all your damn time watching him unbuttoning the last one and taking it off, exposing his milky skin and toned stomach. He crawled on top of you and rested both elbows on either side of your head, his lips immediately attacking your neck. Your hands went to his back, nails slowly digging through his skin as you desperately held onto him.

Focus, (Y/N). Focus!

You pulled away, both of you trying to catch your breath.

“God, you’re making me lose my control,” he whispered and showered your neck and collarbone with sloppy kisses.

“Would you like to…try something new?” You asked in between breaths, hands now tugging his hair. He was confused with your question, based on his looks, and you smiled.

“Do you have a necktie or something similar?” You continued. He chuckled as he just understood what you want to do with the necktie.

Well, the quickest and easiest plan you could think of right now is to seduce the shit out of Ten, tie both his hands together on the headboard and start your task. It’s basically very simple but contrary to your beliefs, he seemed to be a very easy man.

He smiled before getting up to open the drawer beside the king size bed and pulled out a dark green tie.

“I’m guessing you knew what I want to do,” you started as you took the necktie from him, a small yet mischievous smile present on your face. “Would you like me to proceed?”

He was studying your moves as he crawled back to the bed, his hands reaching for your thighs. “I haven’t done this before but I’m willing to try it with you,” he smirked, “Fuck, you’re making me do things I normally don’t like.”

You quietly pushed him so he was now lying on the bed, tying both his hands to the headboard. You made it extra hard to untie for obvious reasons, but made sure it isn’t too suspicious.

You ran your fingers through his chest down to his stomach, stopping right above the band of his pants. You then stood up and turned your back on him, leaving him cursing at the sudden absence of your touch. Slowly reaching for the strap of your heels made you look so dramatic and erotic but in reality, you were just trying to get the small knife from Doyoung’s collection that you hid in the strap wrapped around your thigh.

This is too easy, you smiled to yourself. You just honestly didn’t expect it to be this easy since you thought Ten would be smart enough to suspect your moves.

When you reached for your knife, you almost panicked when you felt nothing in your strap, your fingers carefully scanning your inner thigh just to make sure. Your eyes then slowly moved to scan the white tiled floor, hoping to find the small knife to get things done. You still had your back on him, in which you could feel his intense gaze on you, but you refused to turn around until you find the very weapon you’ll use.

You remembered feeling it under your dress when Ten’s fingers dug into your waist earlier, slowly making it way south but stopped right before he could slip his long, strangely soft hands under your dress. You remembered feeling the cold, sharp surface of the weapon as you swung your hips back and forth along his about an hour ago so you were confused as to where it might be.

You felt Ten getting impatient behind you as you could felt him moving his body against the sheet, and you bent down to take off your heels, taking all your damn time to scan the whole area without looking suspicious.

What the fuck, (Y/N)? Do you really have to be this clumsy?!

With your bare feet touching the cold ground, your fingers slowly reached for the zipper of your dress, eyes still scanning the floor. But right before you could completely take off your dress, you felt a cold and sharp object poking the skin of your throat in which a small move might cut you open.

The warm hands touched your shoulders for a few seconds, as if to tell you they are there, before quickly pulling you to their body knocking the air off your lungs. Your eyes widen at the sudden realize that the knife threatening to slit your throat was the one you were looking for- which also happened to be one of Doyoung’s favourite item.

He wrapped his left arm around you, with the other one holding the knife still threatening your throat.

“Game over, baby girl,” he whispered, hot breath fanning against your neck for the last time before he flipped you over so you’re on the bed and put on a cuff around your wrists behind you at an amazing speed.

You were too shock to say anything and all you did was roll your body so you were now facing him, and stared whoever the fuck he really was as he repositioned himself above you.

With the knife still against your skin he said, “You were too impatient that you made yourself so predictable,” he shook his head and ruffled his hair, making him look like he’s bored to death. “And you fucking suck at acting, you should consider getting a coach before you come to this field of work.”

Shit, so he knew about my plan?

The smirk on his face made you want to smash his face in with a brick but since you’re in such a painful position, wrists behind you with Ten’s weight stopping you from moving, all you could do is protest with your dirty language.

“Get your fucking body off me!”

“Tsk. You’ve got a nasty mouth for a beautiful face.”

“Fuck off!”

He just laughed at your weak attempt of wriggling your way out and you honestly thought it’s gonna be your last night. “And obviously, you miserably failed the final exam. That was probably the shittiest plan I’ve ever encounter in my whole life.” He stood up from the bed and walked to stand before you, hair disheveled and the shirt unbuttoned.

“Wait what?” You looked at him and sat up with the most baffled look ever. “Examination? Are you….are you talking about-”

“The 43rd Annual Recruitment of TGP, yes, and you miserably failed it.”

You felt absolutely humiliated that your cover was blown off and most importantly because that was supposed to be the most crucial part of being an agent.

Also, you failed the examination for the second fucking time.

“And who the fuck are you?” You asked through gritted teeth.

He studied the small knife for a few seconds before glancing at you with a smug look.

“I’m Ten, the 1st recruit.”

Oh shit.

I guess it was the best time for you to say goodbye to your dream of being an agent.

[yverocher]

I was tagged by @cestpasfaux24601 - thank you so much, Elodie! I’m gonna put this under a “read more” so only click if you want to read my ramblings about Bleach :P

1. top 5 favourite zanpakuto ?

Benihime - Benihime is one of my faves because it seems to be one of the most powerful zanpakutos with a wide range of attacks. Its bankai is terrifying but its look and its ability to restructure things are incrdible (and we already talked about the fact that the stitches it leaves on Urahara’s face look a lot like the stitches on Mayuri’s body :P) Katen Kyokotsu - Shunsui’s and Jushiro’s zanpakutos are among my faves because of their unique nature (read: them being the only zanpakutos with two blades) and because that shows their interpersonal connection. Katen Kyokotsu’s powers are fascinating and also kinda creepy and imo that shows that there’s more to Shunsui than the happy-go-lucky behavior he puts on.  Sogyo no Kotowari - same explanation as above^^ I love the double blades and that it’s able to absorb an attack to throw it back at Jushiro’s opponent, and the zanpakuto spirits are the most adorable ones! Senbonzakura - I dunno but its abilities fit Byakuya so well, the extravagance as well as the power behind its attacks. Plus, the zanpakuto spirit shows that Byakuya’s quick temper isn’t completely gone :D Ashisogi Jizo - its powers as well as the modifications Mayuri made make it one of the most terrifying zanpakutos and its bankai even tops it off. I love how Mayuri always seems to have a trick up his sleeve regarding his zanpakuto; you never know what you’re in for when you’re facing Ashisogi Jizo. Oh and the zanpakuto spirit is a terrifying cutie :’D

2. what kind of ability would you like your zanpakuto to have ? 

I’m a sucker for all things magic so I’d love to have a kido-based zanpakuto - Benihime comes to my mind here. An elements-based zanpakuto would be fine as well, a fire- or ice-type zanpakuto for example; close combat ones wouldn’t be my cup of tea though because it’s not my preferred way of fighting.

3. what’s your favourite generation of the gotei 13 ? 

I love the constellation of captains in TBTP. The vaizards and Urahara are still there and the friendship between the vaizards was already there even before all this shit with Aizen went down. Urahara makes a good captain for the 12th and it would have been interesting to see more of him establishing the SRDI. It’s a pity we didn’t get to know the former captain of squad 10 who died in action and the Kenpachi , but apart from these two the captains make a good team imo

4. which squad would you want to be in ?

My standard answer would be squad 13 because I like Jushiro as a captain and feel like working for him would be pleasant. I’d actually like to be in squad 12 though because I’m less of a fighting-and-being-in-the-middle-of-the-action and more of a staying-on-the-computer-and-calculating-everything kind of person, and the subjects they’re researching actually sound interesting. Having Mayuri as a captain sounds daunting af at first, but if you prove your worth to him and don’t fuck up royally it’s probably agreeable to work for him

5. arrancar or quincy ?

Arrancar - the last arc with the Quincy war is one of my fave arcs, but I liked the Arrancar themselves more than the Quincies. One intriguing aspect was that they were basically created by Aizen and following him wasn’t really a question of loyalty for them, but a question of necessity. Especially the top 3′s backstories showed that they didn’t follow Aizen voluntarily, so to me it felt like they had more of an agenda than the individual Quincies in the last arc 

6. what would you change about the ending ? 

Welllll one thing I’m not fully content with is how the protagonists are paired up. I’d have preferred Ichigo/Rukia (though that’s more difficult because of the human/shinigami thing) and I think Orihime and Uryu are kinda cute together. And I’ve always seen Renji and Rukia as more of a brotp. An even bigger problem for me is, though, how the last big fight and the aftermath were handled - it all felt rushed and kinda left me with more questions than answers, and some open questions never got answered either which kinda bugs me because I always want to know everything about a universe I’ve been invested in for a long time

7. which shinigami do you understand the least ? 

It’s a tie between Soi Fon and Yamamoto here, mainly because the things I don’t understand are connected to both of them. So yeah, Yamamoto is the captain-commander and has been for a 1000 years and that shows: he’s rather narrow-minded sometimes and doesn’t even consider a different (and often much easier) approach to things which can lead to more problems than necessary. And Soi Fon can be just as narrow-minded imo, she carries out Yamamoto’s orders and acts like a soldier which isn’t a bad thing per se, but she fails to judge situations correctly in the field that Yamamoto failed to judge correctly in theory and this adds to the confusion and mayhem instead of alleviating it. 

8. favourite espada ?

Starrk is my favourite espada - his laid-back, lazy attitude reminds me of Shunsui and in their fight against each other it shows that both don’t even want to fight and Starrk basically just wants some peace and quiet. Starrk is not out to satisfy some desire for revenge on the shinigami, he simply has no other choice, and I like to imagine that in an AU he and Shunsui would get along really well. Also, his aspect of Death, solitude, kinda resonates with me so maybe that’s also a reason for me to like him.

9. top 5 favourite fights ?

Mayuri vs Szayelaporro: This is my nr-1-absolutely-favourite fight; you have these two brilliant, crazy scientists facing each other and everything can happen because both always seem to have another trick up their sleeves. They constantly try to outsmart each other and get creative with their powers which made the fight more intriguing than most other fights. Mayuri’s speech about perfection is another reason why this is my fave fight - he has more faults than I can count, but this speech really hits home and for me it’s something to remember and to try to live by because I’m too much of a perfectionist and that makes me my own worst enemy most of the time. Shunsui and Jushiro vs Starrk and Lilynette: In this fight, it’s the dynamic between both parties that makes it one of my top 5 fights. Like I said in 8) Shunsui and Starrk could acutally get along, and both of them unleash their “hidden potential” in their fight against each other; there’s more to each of them than meets the eye at first. And Jushiro’s “fight” against Lilynette proves once again that he’s a cinnamon roll! Finally, when Shunsui and Jushiro are fighting and Jushiro gets attacked by Wonderweiss, you see Shunsui getting deathly furious and ready to rush to Jushiro’s rescue and I just love to see this kind of reaction because it shows how deep the bond between these two goes :’)  Urahara vs Askin Nakk Le Vaar: This one is among my faves mostly because we finally get to see Urahara’s bankai. I mentioned that its abilities creeped me out but at the same time they’re ingenious, just like Urahara’s way of using them to outsmart Askin. Soi Fon and Omaeda vs Baraggan: I enjoyed this fight because Baraggan’s powers freak me out like crazy and I was curious about how Soi Fon and Omaeda would act to defeat this seemingly overly powerful opponent. These two worked well together (even though it was rather reluctant teamwork), and the combined efforts after Hachi joined the fight made it even better; I enjoyed seeing what Hachi is capable of. Mayuri and Nemu vs Pernida: Not many people would be able to fight against the Soul King’s right hand and stay alive after winning this fight, but of course Mayuri manages to do exactly that by being prepared for basically everything Pernida could come up with. And we already talked about Nemu sacrificing herself for Mayuri, about her developing further than Mayuri ever dreamed of and her making this decision on her own and not because Mayuri told her to do so.