#I’m scared and angry and sad and it’s too much
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It honestly sucks how negative the Incredibox fandom has become as of the last couple days, I feel like I gotta say something about it:
I love Incredibox, I have loved Incredibox, I will continue to love Incredibox. Yes, even Sprunki. Even FIDDLEBOPS. Even Elementibox. I love all of it. No amount of drama, hate, or general negativity will ever ruin it for me.
We all know the issues this fandom is facing right now. I don’t need to repeat it, we all know it. It’s inevitable that one day it will reach a boiling point. This community will crumble very soon. There’s nothing we can do to stop it.
It saddens me whenever I see people say things like: “I want the community to die.” Or “Everyone here sucks.” I consider myself a part of that, and I’m sure a lot of you do too. The sad truth is, when bad people ruin a good thing, they ruin it for everyone. As much as we want to separate ourselves from that, the only way we could is to say we “aren’t part of it anymore.”
So… what can we do? You can’t feasibly and openly be a fan of Incredibox anymore without being associated with a toxic, harsh environment? Here is some advice:
- Stay away from large fandom spaces. This includes Incredibox discord servers with more than a hundred people.
- Refrain from posting about specific dramas or fights that you yourself aren’t a part of. If it doesn’t affect you personally, don’t comment on it. You’re just wasting everyone’s time.
- Almost exclusively talk about it with people who are your friends or who you trust. You don’t know what kinds of people are out there.
- Don’t look at comments. Be it on Scratch, Cocrea, or YouTube, it will never end well. Can’t help it? Disable them. At this point it’s better to be a ‘coward’ than engage with these people. Only enable them if you’re actively looking to start conversation.
- Separate the mod from creator. This is the most important to enjoying Incredibox in my opinion. It seems nowadays every single creator has gotten themselves into controversy, for both valid and invalid reasons. Referring to the second bullet point, if it doesn’t concern you personally, you shouldn’t feel like a bad person for enjoying it.
- Stop treating Sprunki like a disease. We get it, “it’s overrated,” “it’s not even that good!” “It ruined the community!” While those opinions can be warranted in some regard, please remember that this attitude is why what happened to the creator happened.
- Most of all: Be kind. I know it’s hard. We’re angry, we’re scared, we’re sad. But it’s important to know that negativity will only spawn more negativity. Anger and resentment are what’s causing this fandom’s deterioration. Be the bigger person and don’t attack people for no reason.
Though our community is undoubtably “cooked” by now, it won’t last forever. We will get through this.
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yesss I’m so glad to hear another has come to a similar view on this! There’s a lot to unpack overall psychologically in identities, no matter how one chooses to present but rather how one feels, and it’s easy to keep switching between different terms because none of them stick and you just crave to understand yourself better.. this was especially clear in some communities that openly said their queer status and how people (validly) claimed something then in short while changed it, that’s also why I quickly went from being bisexual to gay to pansexual to aroaceflux and what not, and even though I’ve grown out of my own need for constant labels, I still find them useful many of times, but lots of individuals just.. spend their whole time fixating on this. No hate to specifics but I just don’t think trying to collect every term that fits you is right.. more so, the fact you change and some definition may have another source of existing (like claiming you’re autistic but you just don’t really like being touched, and all the variables and other stuff..)
it’s a good quality to have, self awareness, you can explain yourself better and feel more whole since you know why you do something, but with identities.. sigh- it’s just.. why constantly force yourself to try be like the others? I know some genuinely feel serious about this topic but it can’t erase that many also follow the mass through feeling a small sense of connection to animals and then immediately saying they are one. The very vague definitions allow misconceptions to thrive, and although it’s neccesary to accept all sorts of people and alterhumans/otherkin/therians.. it’s just obvious to me that some don’t exactly understand what it means to feel animal. They feel human emotions and misinterpret it.
Im NOT discouraging animal identities here, like mentioned, I’m a wolf.. but like.. in a supportive way, it’s alright and human to feel afraid, confused, scared, hurt, angry, shamed, shunned, excited, loved, sad, lost, unloved, etc - it’s human to want to be comforted and appreciated and understood.. and many ofcourse would seek out whatever means it means to get that even if it means going into the state of alterhumans they know little about purely for the community (easy to categorise people as a whole, be accepted for unusual practices and behaviours and beliefs, and overal with minds alike it’s easier for self-chosen identities to thrive) but like STILL some are only misinterpreting their natural self, and from exposure to anything you begin to believe you have it even if you never showed signs (I shamefully experienced this a few times, even fucking formed tics after watching too much of such videos? Forgot what it’s called, like some manifesting placebo effect) but what I was going with this is..
the brain is complex, there’s no one answer for all, but I hate seeing that some likely think they’re what they say they are only through just having no other way to explain themselves. It’s easier to explain an animal and emotion tied to it rather than the complex past and history and how it affects the present of a person with all the different things that go into being formed.. agh- well I was just happy to get this off my chest. You got it, right?
not take but I think nearly 90% of therian identities are at least somewhat subconsciously (or consciously) affected by emotional states and how the heart feels through the logical filter of the mind (like.. wanting unconditional love is clearly a canine thing, wanting respect and space is a feline thing, wanting to be feared and yet soft is like some big cat thing.. etc.. no? The stereotypes still are ever so present)
but idk man
#Also Damn it I misspelled hot take wahh this’ll bother me forever#therian#therianthropy#otherkin#alterhumanity#alterhuman#nonhuman#nonhumanity#otherkinity#dog therian#Divine illumination#my eepy ramblings#Pinned post
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am I getting too political? sorry it’s just that I and all my queer friends will probably lose all our rights in a couple months.
am I being too dramatic? oops it’s just that my state voted against me being able to get life-saving gender affirming care as a trans child.
am I getting too political? whoops it’s just that I’ve seen so many little girls crying about how excited they were to see the first female president in office, and now they’ll be forced to give birth if they get raped in some states.
am I being too dramatic? it’s just that I cried myself to sleep last night because I was scared of what would happen to me and had to go to school the next day as if nothing changed.
am I getting too political? it’s just that I had a little bit of hope in my heart that maybe she had a chance only for reality to wake me up with a slap in the face.
am I being too dramatic? it’s just that my country chose a convicted felon, rapist, homophobe, racist fascist over a highly qualified and deserving candidate all because they couldn’t imagine a woman leading the US.
am I getting too political? it’s just that my five year old sister may not be able to pursue her dreams or even go to college in the future.
am I being too dramatic? I actually considered ending it all in silence last night.
am I getting too political? I’m terrified of what’s going to happen to the rest of us.
I’m not getting political. I’m not being dramatic. I’m scared.
#sorry serious post#2024sucks#harris walz 2024#election 2024#it feels like everything’s going to shit and I can’t stop it#I’m scared and angry and sad and it’s too much
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Bunny in danger!
The Chain leave Bunny somewhere safe to clear a monster camp on their trail. Despite Wild’s assurances, Bunny isn’t so safe after all.
@thatonecrazysidekick @tiredgaytheatrekid pssst more Bunny! (I’m sorry)
TW for blood and injury.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ .
Black sand exploded around him, and with half his group of monsters disintegrated, Hyrule had a second to breathe before the final four pounced all at once. A spear cut a fierce gash into his right arm, blood dribbling from the wound and staining his dark sleeve. Another nicked him on the calf. A third, he grabbed by the shaft and twisted out of the monster’s hands, relishing in the way its eyes widened in alarm before he shoved the weapon back into its owner’s stomach, the monster crumbling into black sand.
A high squeal, that fiery protectiveness within his chest swelling, forcing him to look up in time to see Bunny slam into a tree with a sharp shriek. Hyrule’s heart jumped into his throat as the little pink rabbit crashed to the ground in a heap. He didn’t move.
The fourth lizalfos took advantage of the distraction and sent its spear through the back of his thigh. Pain turned his vision white and Hyrule stumbled, the spear sticking out from the front of his leg, blood trailing down his thigh in dark rivulets. Then, he caught sight of that tiny bundle of pink fur, of a lizalfos stalking over to it, a fierce bite wound in its arm, and a wave of blistering fury and golden desire to protect flooded his mind. The air around him crackled.
“Don’t touch him!” A sharp snap of his fingers, and then dozens of bolts of lightning slammed into the ground all around him, turning the world white. The ground shook and lizalfos shrieked in terror, the sounds cut off swiftly.
And then the lightning was gone, leaving behind seven stunned heroes, their hair frizzy and wild and their eyes wide. Hyrule paid them no mind, nor did he feel the normal drain such a significant spell would cause or the spear still embedded in his thigh; he frantically hobbled over to Bunny, kneeling alongside him and gritting his teeth as the spear in his thigh shifted, his vision swimming alarmingly.
“Bunny!” His hands were already glowing a tender pink, healing magic at the ready, and he pressed them against Bunny, closing his eyes as his magic sought out the wounds his little friend had accumulated. His magic pulsed in response, a warning he ignored as he trickled more into Bunny’s still form.
“Traveller, your leg!” Wild had joined him at some point. Hyrule hadn’t noticed, when the edges of his vision were blurry, his ears roaring with blood. Now, his veins began to boil. “You need to—”
He turned to Wild, teeth bared. “You said he would be safe!”
Wild’s eyes widened and he flinched back as if Hyrule had struck him. “I…”
“Look at him! He almost died because of you! This is your fault!”
“I—I’m—” Wild’s eyes glistened now, and Hyrule found the flames were only stoked by the sight.
Before he could snap anything more, Twilight pushed himself between them. “Enough!” he hissed, pushing Wild away. “Take a walk, Cub.”
“B—but, I—”
“I know,” Twilight said, gentler than Hyrule thought Wild deserved. “We’ll talk later. I’ll take over.”
Wild nodded shakily, scurried away before Hyrule could say any more.
#Hyrule doesn’t mean anything he said btw#he’s angry and upset and scared and in a LOT of pain#he won’t let Bunny out of his sights easily after this#when he crashes Bunny sneaks away though#(to sit with Sky while he plays his harp. Bunny is sad after this)#Hyrule and Wild will be having a talk about this dw#these two are besties in every universe no matter what it takes to get there#I love them so much#it’s so hot here right now so I’m posting more Bunny early to distract myself from the miserable heat#I want to keep writing but it’s too hot :(#first Wild POV and I can’t even keep writing… curse you Australia and your fierce summer#please manifest us some rain if you see this the fire threats are real…#lu#loz#lu pink bunny au#linked universe#lu fic#linked universe fanfic#faye writes#lu Bunny#lu hyrule#lu wild#lu twilight#tw blood#tw injury#I’m going to try take a nap now wish me luck#oh also Hyrule is fine#he gets two potions in him after the spear is painfully removed and Twi carries him (Hyrule still carries Bunny)
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My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It
#blue chatter#they called me a resilient person. and no the fuck I am not. I break down so easily over everything and my body is falling apart on me.#I scream in terror when someone knocks on the door too hard the fuck you mean I’m good at handling adversity#I pointed out that I freak out whenever my grade gets low even a little bit#and they were just sitting there like ‘yeah. and then you pick yourself up again and you do the work.’#and no? not always? oftentimes I give up and don’t try hard enough to fix it and let points go that I could have earned#I barely ever go for extra credit opportunities and I’ve never gone to office hours of my own free will#I can’t even think about talking to a professor about a bad grade without wanting to cry? hello?#but they were insistent that even with those things I am still managing Incredibly Well in class given the circumstances. which made me#uncomfortable. like. I don’t think of myself as resilient At All and I feel a bit like I’m lying or tricking them.#I start shaking like a chihuahua when people are upset and I’m In The Vicinity. even when they’re clearly not upset with me.#I really struggle to advocate for myself ever and even when I do I usually feel guilty and walk it back partway so I don’t cause a fight#and I always get way too emotional for the situation when someone has anything they’re upset with me for. which isn’t fair to them bc I need#to be able to take constructive criticism without taking it as a personal attack on me.#like what the fuck do you mean *resilient*. I can’t even handle seeing a bug flying near my face or getting a B in a class. or being told#that I did something wrong. I’m actually significantly worse at handling adversity than I used to be. high school me was a resilientish kid.#and it’s not like I was ever *good* at handling my emotions. even when it was essential for my safety. I’ve always cried way too easily#even when it actively made the situation I was in Much Worse. even when I knew better.#I would get angry and scared and sad and start shaking and crying and even screaming at my parents when they were mad at me even though#I knew that it would always make my life much worse. and extend an already beleaguered argument.#I brought this up with my therapist and she was like ‘well. anybody would have done that if they were treated like you were’.#which. okay. maybe so. I still feel like I should have been able to handle it and just shut up and move on and not make it worse.#but I am aware that this is probably a cognitive distortion. even so. that definitely doesn’t make me resilient.#I just. I feel gross being called resilient. I’m not. I’m weak and easily scared and unable to handle even small amounts of adversity.#the fuck is my roommate even *seeing*.#the annoying part is that they’re generally an insightful person about other people and I know logically that they’re probably right#which is why I’m not going to complain any more about this to their face bc I should just drop it and not make it a Thing#I talk too much about myself and my problems anyway. not every conversation has to be about my brain worms.#but the discomfort is Distinct and Unpleasant. and now I’m just having to sit with it. and Feel Uncomfortable. and try to accept what was#definitely intended as a compliment. I know it’s draining to talk to someone who doesn’t accept any of the kind things you say about them.
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I feel like I’ve gone through every emotional thats possible to feel during this month’s cycle
#rambles#vent#how am I relieved stressed sad and scared at the same time#like I love and I hate and I’m angry and I’m so#ugh it’s too much for me I have essays to complete
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in your eyes, the man that i could be |carmen berzatto x reader| part two
prompt: after carmen finds out you're staying at pete and sugar's house, he goes to try and talk to you. he's faced with his furious sister and harsh truths instead.
or part two of the devastation fic lol that is based off this ask from the other day <3
contains: angst! angst! this one is very much so more carmen focused bc let's be real... he's the problem in this one lol. still hurt with no comfort but more this one than last one?? mentions to past trauma, family trauma. sugar clears carmen in this one. slight mean carmen still, slight angry carmen still. language. dad!carmen x mom!reader. no resolution but the make up is in the next and final part! still heavy so read at your own discretion! word count- 4.8k+
Fak twisted his hands, nervously watching Carmen pace back and forth furiously. One hand running through his hair, tangled and matted from the continued motion; the other lifting and pulling the cigarette to and from his lips. Fak wasn’t sure how Carmen wasn’t sick yet. He’d never seen him smoke so much, seen anyone smoke so much.
“Neil, I’m not fuckin’ playin’ anymore, ok? You’re startin’ to really, really fuckin’ piss me off.” Carmen’s jaw ground tight, voice starting to growl with that gravelly warning shake that had Fak flinching. “You better tell me where you put my fuckin’ car keys, alright? I-I’m not sitting here, ok? I’m not gonna sit around wi-with my fuckin’ thumb up my ass like a jagoff while my wife and kid are a-at fuckin’ Sugar and Pete’s!”
“Carmy,” Fak tried to keep his voice calm and firm, like Sugar and Richie had coached him to, hyping him up before he entered the house. “I can’t give you your keys right now, becaus-”
“-Oh, fuck you! Fuck you! Who the fuck do you think you are, huh?” Carmen roared, teeth bared and eyes narrowed.
Fak didn’t think he’d ever say it, but he missed the sad Carmen from before. When he’d been sent to check on Carmen and Richie, to find out where the hell they were before Sydney had a meltdown in the kitchen, only to find a nearly hyperventilating Carmen and an unsure and frantic Richie trying to calm him. Fak had known Carmen a long time, his whole life, really, and never once had he seen him so… so sad.
That sadness was long gone now. In its wake, an anger, worse than before, than he’d ever seen or could have imagined. Fak had just tried to comfort Carmen, offer up some encouragement that you and Teddy and Anchovy were all ok, taken care of- at Pete and Sugar’s. He didn’t realize how that would flip the switch, how it would infuriate Carmen.
“I-I’m Fak.” Fak blinked, nervously. “You know me. I’m your friend, Carm, and I-I’m just trying to help you-”
“-You’re trying to help me? You’re trying to fuckin’ help me by keepin’ me away from my wife?” Carmen’s voice boomed, shaking the walls of the house.
Even in his loud rage, the house seemed too quiet, too still. There was no baby TV show on, no hum of the diffusers, or Anchovy’s small purrs and chirps. Carmen missed him, missed him jumping on the counters just to piss him off. He missed you defending him, missed how Anchovy would startle and run anytime Teddy would gurgle or whine.
God, he missed Teddy. He spent the first night in the nursery, sitting in the rocking chair, staring blankly ahead, wishing he had the small screaming bundle to rock to sleep.
Carmen couldn’t bring himself to go into the bedroom. Not again. Not after he found your ring laying there. He’d scared Richie so badly with his cries that Richie had enforced the ‘Mikey Prevention Plan’, his twisted humor of a way at keeping Carmen from being alone, from hurting himself in his misery.
“Carm, I-I can’t.” Fak stuttered, looking at the door, begging Richie or anyone, really, to walk through the door. “You know I can’t.”
“This is fucked up, Neil. You know that? You know how fucked up this is? Keepin’ me from-from Teddy? From my kid?” Carmen took a long drag of the cigarette, smoke blowing out of his nose with his panicked breathing. His hands still shook, everything was still shaky and rattling with uneasiness inside him.
“Carm, I- Don’t say that.” Fak shook his head, he could feel himself caving. Carmen could too.
“You’re keepin’ me from her, Fak. You know that? You know you-you’re keepin’ me from my daughter? My baby? Don’t you-you know how fucked up that is?” Carmen shook his head, lips pursing in disgust. “You’re lettin’ Richie boss you around like he always does, an-and you know, you know deep down that this is wrong. Keepin’ me from them is wrong.”
Fak hesitated, a nervous sweat breaking out on the back of his neck. “Richie said-”
“-Richie can get fucked. Ric-Richie doesn’t know shit! He doesn’t know shit, you know he doesn’t know shit, a-and you’re lettin’ him tell you what to do? Richie?” Carmen scoffed, throwing his hands out. “The fuck does Richie know, huh? H-He’s divorced, an-an-and barely sees his kid-”
“-Hey!-” Fak’s eyes widened in shock. “Carmen, you don’t-”
“-Is that what you want? You want me to end up alone?” Carmen’s eyes are wild, crazed, but he goes still. “Y-You want me to end up like-like Richie? Li-Li-Like that?”
Fak swallows, both standing in the thick, tension filled silence. “Carmen, I-I can’t.” Fak shook his head slowly. “I don’t… I think you need to, I don’t know, I think you need to calm down before you go see them.”
“Calm down, you’re tellin’ me to calm down.” Carmen snarled, bitterly scoffing at Fak. “Fuck you. Alright? Fuck you. I will never forgive you for this shit. You hear me? You-You doin’ this to me, keepin’ me from my family. I’ll never fuckin’ forgive you.”
Fak flinched, Carmen’s words cutting brutally through him with a bitter sting. Carmen stormed off, the front door slamming with a force that sent vibrations through the house. Fak was surprised it didn’t split the wood in two. Walking towards the front window, he saw Carmen storming off, furiously lighting another cigarette, running a hand through his hair, again. Fak assumed he was out of Spirits, that he’d smoked through another pack, walking to the corner store to get more. After thirty minutes, he called Richie, frantic that he’d let Carmen loose.
“What part of Mikey Prevention Plan don’t you fuckin’ understand?” Richie sneered over the phone, trying to keep his voice low so the new hires didn’t hear. As far as they were concerned, Carmen was on a vacation, only the OGs knew the truth.
“I-I didn’t mean to! I swear!” Fak’s voice lilted high, a shrill of nerves that had Richie’s eyes pinching in annoyance. “I thought he was going to the corner store to get more cigarettes, an-and then he didn’t come back for a while-”
“-What’s a while?” Richie muttered, catching Tina’s eye through the glass. She set her rag down quickly, walking towards him.
“I dunno… Fifteen, thirty minutes?” Fak mumbled. “Maybe closer to an hour now. B-But then I went to look for him, and he wasn’t there, so I asked the guy working and he said he hadn’t seen him, and-and now I’m driving around trying to find him. I-I’m shouting his name out the window and everything!”
“He’s not a dog, Neil, he won’t-” Richie huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I know where he’s at.”
“You do?” Fak perked up.
“Yeah, I mean, no, but I-I’m pretty sure I know where he’s at since you fuckin’ told him where they were stayin’.” Richie rolled his eyes bitterly. “Just- Come over here and get me, alright? Let me call Pete- God, you and this fuckin’ kid, got me callin’ Pete. You’re killin’ me Neil Jeff.”
Richie hung up the phone with a huff, looking up at Tina. “What’s goin’ on? Jeff alright? What’s he doin’?” She pressed.
“Yeah, Fak-Fak fuckin’ lost him.” Richie rubbed his forehead in exasperation. “But, I think I know where he’s at. Have a pretty good idea, anyways.”
Tina eyed Richie carefully. “Richie, you know I love that kid, you know I do. But if he’s fuckin’ with Mama,” Tina shook her head, lips pursing in fury. It was no secret how taken she was to you, even before the affectionate nickname that came with the pregnancy.
“He’s not,” Richie shook his head. “He’s stupid, hot headed, a fuckin’ baby- all that. But… C’mon, T, you and I both know he loves her. He wouldn’t do anything to them. Do somethin’ to himself before that.”
Tina paused but nodded, face softening. “So, you know where he’s at then? You don’t… You don’t think he’s gonna…” She couldn’t bring herself to say it, looking at the picture of Mikey with Richie, Tina, Ebra, and Marcus only a few months before he passed. Carmen had placed it at the front, a reminder of the legacy that was there before him, of The Beef and his brother.
“No, I hope not.” Richie muttered, looking at his phone’s screen with dread, Pete’s contact on the screen gleaming back at him nearly mockingly. “I think I know where he is.” He sighed, pressing the button.
Pete could feel his phone buzzing in his pants, ignoring it as he held the front door in a white knuckled grip. He hadn’t expected to see Carmen there, on his Ring camera, knocking on the door softly, softer than he expected given his manic looking state.
“H-Hey, Carm,” Pete closed the door as casually as he could, only leaving a sliver open. “What, uh, what’s up, man?”
“Hey, Pete,” Carmen could barely meet his gaze, suddenly overly aware of how disheveled he must have looked.
“Uh, what-what brings you by?” Pete stuttered, heart picking up when he heard the soft thump behind him, Anchovy lurking behind his legs curiously. He gripped the door, shuffling his legs together, trying to close it on his frame so Anchovy wouldn’t slip by.
“C’mon,” Carmen sighed, a tired look in his eye, too exhausted to even be pleading. “You know why I’m here, alright. I-I know they’re here.”
“W-Who is? Sugar? Yeah, she-she’s off today.” Pete stiffened at the claim, swallowing nervously, trying to play it cool. Anchovy meowed loudly behind him, cringing when he was given away by the cat.
“Pete, don’t-” Carmen pinched the bridge of his nose, breathing in slowly, trying to calm the tears that threatened to fall. He could hear Anchovy, hear the sounds of the house- the home. Soft child shows, the hum of the dryer, all the things that made the house feel alive. Carmen would give anything to have his home sound like that again, the silence was beginning to drive him crazy.
“Where is she?” Carmen looks up, his gaze much harder than before, a frantic look beginning to take over his sadness.
“I, uh, I-I don’t-” Pete stutters, fingers tapping on the wood of the door anxiously.
“-Pete, I really don’t want you to fuck with me right now, alright?” Carmen takes a deep breath, trying to swallow back his emotions that were already beginning to climb in his throat again. “I need to- I-I need to see her, Pete.” Carmen couldn’t bring himself to say your name, sure even the first syllable would have him in tears, breaking down on the front porch.
Another meow, louder than before, came before Pete could answer. The soft scratching of Anchovy’s paws on the door, a demanding meow that Carmen knew all too well. He’d learned to drown it out, or try to. It became nearly a soundtrack to your sex life when you’d first gotten the cat, locking him out of the room so you two could fuck, only for him to yowl and scratch and demand to be let in. Carmen could remember how you’d giggle, pouting at him exaggeratedly to let him in. His heart fell with an ache that was warm yet still made him feel sick.
Pete looked down at the cat, then back at Carmen, a hesitant grimace on his face. “Carm… You-You know I would,” He started. Carmen’s heart soared with hope, eyes wide, a near adrenaline rush of excitement shooting through his system. “But…You know I can’t.”
Carmen’s heart crashed, shattered with the hope he’d finally begun to find, to feel again. “What the fuc- Pete, that’s… Pete, c’mon. C’mon. Yo-You gotta let me in. Let me in.” Anger surged through Carmen’s chest. He closed his eyes tight and tried to swallow it down. All he’d been is angry. For weeks now, it had been a never ending cycle of anger and sickness and distraught, all amplified to new heights the second you left.
Carmen could feel himself spiraling, ears starting to ring again, rushing and roaring flashbacks flooding into his mind. Your face when you left, Teddy’s cries, the critic’s pursed lips, Sydney’s disappointed face when he forgot something again, Tina’s eyes cutting. Carmen turned, shaking his hand lightly, trying to do a breathing exercise he saw on YouTube, years ago when he’d moved to New York.
His breaths were deep, shaky, but deep enough that it cleared his head, dulled the ringing. His mind wandered back, Richie’s voice ringing in his head. “You wanna get her back? Quit actin’ like a goddam baby. Quit actin’ like this isn’t your own fuckin’ fault. Like you didn’t do this shit to yourself, Cousin. Take some fuckin’ accountability, grow the fuck up, and get your motherfuckin’ shit together, alright? And maybe-maybe you’ll get your family back.” Richie’s voice rang clear through his mind from a few nights ago, when Carmen was especially mean and awful.
“Hey, uh, you alright?” Pete hesitated, leaning towards Carmen, his grip on the door loosening.
Carmen took a deep breath, running a hand over his face before he turned back towards Pete, eyes shining with tears that threatened to fall. “Pete, please? Please?” Carmen begged, voice soft, cracking at the end. “Please, jus-just let me see her? L-Let me talk to her? Just- Let me tell her tha-that I’m sorry. Please… I need to tell her I-I’m sorry. Don’t-”
“-Carmen?” Sugar gaped, her voice coming from behind Pete. She pulled the door open, shocked gaze dropping into furious, jaw setting in a near snarl. “What the fuck are you doing here?” She hissed.
“Why do you think I’m here, Natalie? Huh?” Carmen snapped in anger, rolling his eyes in annoyance.
“Oh, you’ve got a lot of fucking nerve showing up here.” Natalie snapped back, pulling the door open and stepping out on the porch. She stood in front of her younger brother, arms crossed in a standoff.
“Pete, go inside.” Sugar sneered, her gaze not moving from Carmen’s. She felt like they were children again, having a staring contest to see who got the last piece of gum from Donna’s purse, only this time, it was for worse.
“Nat, I-”
“-I got it.” Natalie said firmly. Pete didn’t argue with her, simply nodding, shutting the door softly behind them. Her eyes held Carmen’s gaze, both of them intense, furious at the other for other reasons.
“You should be ashamed of yourself-”
“-I am-”
“-Mortified.” Sugar sneered, giving him a disgusted shake of her head. Carmen shifted, biting his own tongue to keep it from lashing out at her. “Do you know what I came home to the other night? You want me to tell you?-”
“-No, I know-”
“-No, I’m going to tell you.” Natalie snapped. “I came home after a very long shift because our head chef decided to, oh, I don’t know- disappear and go on a psychotic rampage apparently.” Natalie scoffed sarcastically.
“And I walk through the door, ready for bed. Maybe a glass of wine, maybe a bath, maybe to finally catch up on my shows with my husband; and you know what I found instead?” Sugar took a step towards Carmen, intimidating him with her harsh glare. “I find my husband taking care of your baby because your wife is sobbing-”
“-Don’t-”
“-No, no. I mean, sobbing. A total broken mess on my kitchen table, because she said you,” Sugar jabbed a finger at Carmen. “Decided to come home and scream at her. Not only scream, but say some of the most volatile, disgusting things I’ve ever fucking heard in my life to your wife, the mother of your very much so still a newborn baby.”
Carmen felt the familiar wave of nausea wash over him, swallowing back spit that pooled in his mouth with a cry that threatened to fall from his chest. He couldn’t bring himself to speak, to look at her gaze anymore. It felt too judgemental, left him feeling too vulnerable and sick of himself under it.
“So let me ask first; What the fuck is the matter with you?” Natalie sneered.
“I don’t know.” Carmen’s voice was tight, jaw tighter, fighting a tremble that was threatening to break. “I-I don’t… I don’t fuckin’ know. I-I didn’t- I didn’t mean it-” A single tear fell, slipping out of the corner of his eyes, sliding down his cheek- the final crack in his demeanor.
Carmen tried to fight it, deep breaths that burned his lungs and nose to control the tears, keep him from breaking here on his sister’s porch, but they wouldn’t stop. Carmen wasn’t sure how he had any tears left, after crying for days on end, how he hadn’t shriveled up his tear ducts. Yet here he was, broken sobs slipping out again.
Sugar didn’t move. Arms still crossed over her chest, lips still fixed in a hard line, watching Carmen with intensity as he broke down, tears flowing in front of her. She didn’t comfort him, not that he expected her to. She didn’t try to give him words of encouragement, advice on how to right the wrongs like the others did. Instead, she kept a furious gaze on him, unmoved by the tears.
“Please,” Carmen sniffed hard, running the back of his hand over his nose. “Please, Sugar, please. Ju-Just let me see Teddy. Let me se-ee her. Don’t-Don’t do this to me. Don’t ke-ep my kid away from me-”
“-Me?” Sugar scoffed, pushing her hand into her chest. “Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Don’t you even start that shit, Carm. I’m not keeping your kid away from you, let’s make that clear.”
Carmen’s breath hitched when she stepped towards him, toe to toe with him, teeth bared in a grit of anger. “I didn’t take your kid away. You know who did? Hm? You.” Natalie snapped, Carmen flinched at the cruelty of her words. “You did this, Carmen. You did every last bit of this. This is on you. No one else but you.”
Carmen held in a cry that threatened to break out, face crumbling with tears. He rubbed his hand over his face, trying to soothe the burn and hide his distraught. “And you know something else? I know you don’t remember dad very well, but I do, ok? And lately, you’ve been acting just like him.” Sugar’s tone clipped, leaving a burning sting in Carmen’s chest at her words.
“Yelling just because shit didn’t go your way? Do you know part of the reason mom’s so fucked up? Why everyone takes her side all the time and babies her? Uncle Jimmy and Uncle Lee? It’s because dad used to berate her, scream at her so badly- say some of the worst shit in the world because he was stressed out, that those guys would feel bad for her.” Sugar ranted. “And I promise you- promise you if I told Uncle Jimmy right now what you said, how I found your wife, he’d agree with me. Maybe even worse.”
Carmen shifted, his heart squeezing in fear now. Jimmy loved you, always had. He held a special soft spot in his heart for you. Worse was probably right, and truthfully, Carmen would accept it- he deserved it. It wouldn’t be as bad as how he felt right now.
Natalie held Carmen’s gaze, letting her words sink in. She lifted his hand when he started to talk. “I don’t-I really don’t want to hear it, ok?” Natalie shook her head. “And before you start trying to come up with some excuse-”
“-I-I’m not-”
“- I want you to know something. To hear it and really listen to it.” Natalie paused, waiting until his eyes met hers to continue. “I know you’ve been through a lot- We’ve been through a lot. But that doesn’t mean you get to just treat people like shit. That you can act like this and it’s ok.”
“I know that.” Carmen’s jaw was tight, strangled words croaking out.
“Then act like it.” Natalie snapped. “It’s not easy, none of this is easy, Carm. I mean… Do you know that every day- every single day, I wake up and something happens that’s shitty or rough, and I think about how easy it would be just to grab a bottle of wine or two. Drink myself unconscious like mom does. Just how easy that would be, how nice it would be just to drown myself out instead of face the issues.”
“There’s days when MJ or Maggie or-or Pete just drive me fuckin’ nuts, and I want to pull my hair out, or scream, or Pete will do something that just pushes me right over the edge and I just want to rage.” Natalie continued, arms waving dramatically. “I want to throw in the towel, take the easy way out, rage, drink myself silly, scream at all of them until I feel better, but you know what? You know what I don’t do? I don’t do that.”
Natalie crossed her arms, taking a breath to steady herself. “I don’t do that to them because I know how that feels.” Her voice cracked, just barely, enough to show the emotion that was hiding underneath. “I know how that felt. I know how that made me feel.”
Carmen could feel his eyes brimming with tears again, too emotional to be embarrassed. Donna’s many red faced, slurred screaming tyrades came back to his mind. How he’d hide, try and stay quiet and invisible to avoid them. Even as he got older.
“I know how that fucked me up. How it fucked them up. How it fucked you up, an-and Mikey up. I mean- how it…it fucked our whole life up!” Sugar laughed humorlessly, throwing her hands up in mock defeat. “I just… When I think about that, and about how it just ruined all of us. That’s the last thing, the very last thing, I’d ever want to do to my kids, to Pete, t-to anyone, really.”
Carmen nodded, too overwhelmed with emotions to speak. His throat burned, scratchy and sore from screaming and crying. His chest was tight, constricting his lungs, stealing his breath. He was on the verge of an anxiety attack, maybe something worse, yet, he felt eerily calm in the moment. Still even under the shame and hurt her words brought. He sat on the porch, sure his knees would give out soon, head spinning and dizzy with this damning realization.
“You need to make up your mind. Make a decision, right here, right now.” Sugar continued behind him. Though he couldn’t see her, he knew her face was stoic to hide the hurt, hide the emotions. A classic Berzatto deflection trait. “You need to decide what you’re going to do to be better for your family. If you’re going to continue to be a selfish, piece of shit, or if you’re going to change; be better.”
Carmen’s shoulders shuddered with his next breath, deep but not intentional; like he didn’t even know he did it. Too dazed and deep in thought, staring blankly ahead. “I can tell you,” Sugar stepped towards the door. “It’s not comfortable. It’s not easy. It is so hard some days. You have to fight for it every day, fight to break shit that was drilled into you, fight to recognize that some things you do, you don’t even mean to. It takes a lot of work, but… I’d rather fight every single day to be better, to be kinder and softer and more understanding for my family, than to not have them at all.”
Carmen couldn’t stop thinking of you. How you were so naturally nurturing and sweet. You’d always been like that. You were loving and gentle freely. You’d always been so patient with him. It almost made him feel insecure, inferior, when he thought of it before, but now, he just wanted to return the favor.
“You decide what you want to do, and then maybe- maybe you’ll get to see them again.” Sugar turned the door knob, pushing it open. “But today? Not a chance. Go get yourself together before you try and do this again.” Carmen flinched at the door slamming behind her, harder than he thought it would. Still, he didn’t move from his spot on the porch, head in his hands, deep in thought about his future, his past, everything.
“There he is!” Fak’s voice was muffled through the car window, slowly pulling to a stop in Sugar and Pete’s driveway.
Carmen looked up slowly, taking a slow, grounding exhale in, just as Richie and Fak climbed out of the car. “Cousin, thank fuckin’- You better be glad he’s here.” Richie glared at Fak.
“I am!” Fak chirped defensively.
Carmen stood slowly, turning one last time to look at the front door. He couldn’t see through the small privacy glass on the door, but he swore he could hear you- hear your voice. Soft and hushed, a little cautious mixing with Sugar’s reassuring one. It took everything in him not to turn and bust the door down, run inside and throw himself at your feet, begging for forgiveness.
He knew that time would come.
Instead, he walked to the car, sliding in the backseat, ignoring the confused looks Richie and Fak gave each other. “So, uh, did you-”
“-Don’t ask that.” Richie cut off Fak with a bark of annoyance. “What’s the matter with you?”
“Nothing! I just- I thought we all wanted to know-”
“-Hey, Cousin,” Carmen muttered, staring blankly at the house. Richie hummed, turning to Carmen carefully. “What’s, uh… You-You said you had someone for me to talk to?”
“Yeah,” Richie nodded slowly. “The therapist?”
Carmen paused, swallowing slowly. “You…You think she’d see me now?”
“Right now?” Richie lifted a brow. Carmen nodded slowly, still looking past him, eyes glued on the house. He swore he could see a figure move- your figure, peeking through the blinds before ducking back into the shadows. “Yeah, I’m sure she will. I can… I can call her. See what I can do.”
“Thanks.” Carmen twisted his wedding band gently, the car jolting gently as Fak started to back out.
Fak turned around, looking from the back window to Carmen with a hesitant grimace. “You ok?” He asked, his voice dropped to a low hush with Richie on the phone beside him.
“No,” Carmen admitted, shoulders slumping in defeat. “No, I-I’m not, but… I wanna be.” Carmen looked at Fak, eyes glassy with emotion. “I gotta get my shit together. Gotta do better f-for my family.”
Fak nodded slowly, pulling out onto the road, slowly shifting the gears back into place. The car began to roll, Carmen watching Sugar and Pete’s house disappear in the rearview. His heart tore, ripped right down the middle and split at the seams knowing he was leaving you, Teddy- his family behind. It took everything, every ounce of strength not to turn around, not to run back. It hurt, but he realized, this is what Sugar was talking about.
So, Carmen went to the other side of town, to the small building where Richie’s therapist was. His counselor he’d started seeing a while back, when he was on his purpose journey.
It was weird, weirder than Al-Anon. Carmen felt entirely too vulnerable sitting in that chair, having her stare at him and only him, nodding as he told his ‘story’- it felt weird to call it that. He didn’t want it to be his story, his defining qualities. No, Carmen wanted a new story, a better one with you and Teddy and his family. He’d told Dr. Mullins that.
“I think that’s a great start, Carmen.” She nodded, giving him a soft smile. “So, tell me how you’d do that.”
Carmen scoffed lightly, looking down at his hands. “I, uh, I don’t really know.” He admitted. “Kinda thought that’s what you were for.”
“You’re right. I’m here to help you reach that goal, maintain it.” She nodded. “But in order to do that, I need to know a little more.”
“Like what?” Carmen muttered. “I don’t really remember my dad and all the bad shi-stuff he’d do.”
“You said you didn’t want that to define you, so let’s not talk about that.” She shook her head softly. “Let’s focus on what you want. What kind of life you’d want to live with your family.”
Carmen’s knee bounced, taking a shaky breath. “I… I don’t want to lose control.” He admitted. “I don’t want t-to scream, and say shit I don’t mean, and-and to take it out on people who don’t deserve it.” He looked up at her. “I don’t want to do that again.”
“Good.” Dr. Mullins nodded slowly. “Let’s start there.”
#thebearer#bearblahs#carmen berzatto#carmen berzatto x reader#the bear#carmy berzatto x reader#carmy berzatto#dad!carmen berzatto#dad!carmen berzatto x mom!reader#dorothea “teddy” berzatto#carmen berzatto x reader angst#carmen berzatto angst#carmen berzatto x fem!reader#carmen berzatto x female!reader#pete the bear#neil fak#richie jerimovich#natalie berzatto#sugar berzatto#carmen 'carmy' berzatto#carmen berzatto imagine#carmy the bear#carmy x reader#carmen berzatto x pregnant reader#carmen berzatto x pregnant!reader#carmen berzatto x you#jimmy the bear#the bear fanfiction#carmen berzatto fic#the bear fic
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Hi, I’m so sorry, I searched for request guidelines and must be missing them so if this isn’t something you write I apologize-
Flower prompt heliotrope with Spencer where reader sacrifices herself/or gets shot to save Maeve so Spencer can be happy, even though she’s hopelessly in love with him. 🥹
Little angst, little fluff. You can decide if reader fully sacrifices or just gets really badly hurt and how Spencer reacts.
my dear!! there are no rules yet- i have things i won't fill but thus far the onus has been on me to clarify. i had so much fun writing this- thank you for requesting it!!! requests r open :^) wc: 1.1k
“Is Maeve okay?”
It’s the first thing she says when she wakes up from her hospital bed. Spencer’s shaking, a little woozy too. It turns out that they have the same blood type, and she lost a whole fucking lot of it. He’d been happy to give it to her, although ‘happy’feels like the wrong word to use in this situation.
She had internal bleeding, and collapsed harshly from the gunshot, scuffing her forehead so badly she needed stitches. Comparatively, it’s the least of her worries, but still- Spencer can’t stop staring at it. She’s literally marred by the choice she made to protect him.
Maeve is okay. She’s in the same hospital, but Spencer’s spent about ten minutes with her- the rest of the last 12 hours of his life were spent oscillating between donating blood and praying to a deity he’s not sure exists.
She’d survived. They’d both survived. He should feel relieved- why doesn’t he feel relieved?
It’s a stupid question that he keeps asking himself. Two of the most important people in his life are alive, but still in the moment, her blood spilling over him- the gasp of her breath when the bullet hit her- He’s going to remember the sound of it forever, what it sounded like for her to almost die for someone else. He hates that she’s the type of person to do it. To jump in front of a loaded gun for a woman she’s never met before.
He’s mad at her. He has no right to be- he gets a chance with Maeve now, and that’s all due to the choice she made. And yet- he’s so, so angry at her. Because she could be dead right now. He could never, ever talk to her again. She made a choice that meant that he might have never been able to hear her voice, do a magic trick for her, ever, ever be near her again. How the fuck could she do that to him?
“Yes,” he replies, “she’s okay.”
She nods agreeably, before wincing at what appeared to be an intense ache at her temples.
“My head hurts,” she says, her voice low and endearing, and his heart roars with protectiveness. “Do you think I could have a juice box?”
She’s so sweet- he wants to laugh, in a sad desperate kind of way. This is his favorite person in the world, sitting up shakily and asking for juice, clearly groggy and so endearing. He almost lost her.
“You’re okay too,” he says, “If you’re wondering. You scared us. You had internal bleeding and a concussion. You lost a lot of blood.”
It’s only then she frowns.
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” she pouts, trying to sit up and speak to him. “But it all worked out, Spence. She’s okay.”
“It didn’t all work out!” Her eyes widen at his outburst, and he feels like scum. Yelling at her when she’s in a hospital bed, taking a bullet so he’d have a chance at romance.
“You said she’s okay,” she says back, slowly. “I don’t understand.”
“You lost blood. You almost died. That is not it working out. You have to tell me you understand that.” He doesn’t know why he’s being so harsh, but he also doesn’t know why he has to explain this to her.
“I know,” she sighs, “I know. But this is the job, and I didn’t have time to get a vest on!”
“Then you wait. You wait. You don’t just burst in-“
“And you would’ve lost the love of your life!”
“What makes you think she’s the love of my life?”
A nurse shuffles by the room and Spencer takes a deep breath. He doesn’t want to be kicked out of her room, and on some level he knows how crazy it is to be yelling at a gunshot victim. He pinches his nose, eyes winced in frustration.
She’s been his favorite person by a wide margin for an incredibly long time. She joined the team as a consultant and he remembers the first time he did a card trick for her- the first time he’d fallen asleep on her shoulder. He was so grateful to know her. Still is. In this moment, knowing feels like time slipping out from an hourglass- like it was almost numbered. Their time was almost finished.
Maeve was lovely. Maeve listened and she was kind and Spencer really did like her. He’s glad she’s safe, now. But his best friend, his coworker and favorite person- Spencer thought everyone could tell that he’s been in love with the team consultant since the first week he knew her.
Everything he liked about Maeve reminded him of her.
And she’d jumped in front of a bullet for someone she thought he was in love with. And fuck, maybe he did love her in some way- but whatever ‘in love’ meant with Maeve, this sorrow, the pain of knowing she’d almost been someone he’d have to remember was far, far deeper.
“You’ve never mentioned anyone to me romantically. I’ve known you for years, Spencer. She’s important to you.”
Maeve is. She was. It’s all so confusing now. He has liked someone for years, though. He couldn’t tell her, though. Maeve was a welcome distraction from a love he thought was wholly impractical and impossible to love him back— a love that now he has to witness languish in a hospital bed.
Morgan knew. Morgan would tease him every time Spencer drew a smiley face in purple marker on her coffee cup. He would tell him to just ask her out, and it had always felt so improbable. She’d never go for someone as lanky and uncharismatic as him.
“You’re important to me.”
She has no idea how much.
Her eyes soften at that, and not for the first time, he wants to curl into her arms. He wants to lay next to her in the hospital bed, and feel her pulse beat against bare skin. Feel her pulse and with every beat know that she is alive.
“I know that, Spence,” she breathes out.
Even though it’s not kosher, not necessarily the right thing to do when your not-girlfriend/girl you went on one date with is in the same hospital, but when his best friend opens up her arms for a hug, he ends up doing exactly what he wanted.
The team finds her asleep in her hospital bed, with Spencer asleep in her arms. It feels voyeuristic to look at, but Spencer really, really couldn’t care.
He resolved to tell her that he loves her as soon as she’s healed. With the way Morgan side eyes him every time he ‘helps’ her walk across a room by holding her waist, he’s not sure he’ll last that long.
#spencer reid#spencer Reid fluff#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x fem!reader#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#criminal minds fanfic
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mistakes- l.norris
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pairing: Lando Norris x publicist! fem! reader
summary: the aftermath of the Hungarian gp
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He wanted to scream. At Oscar, at the team, at everyone. It wasn’t fair. Fair and fucking square he was supposed to be in first. He was closest to Max in the championship. It made fucking sense, and Oscar wasn’t going to catch up, so Lando was McLaren’s only chance at a world championship. Fuck their strategy, fuck being a ‘team player’, fuck all that shit. It wasn’t fair.
And then there was you. Had he been harsh on the radio? Yes. Did you now have to clean up his mess? Yes. Was he scared to face you? Yes. But only because he knew what you’d be doing, and that you’d be too busy to be with him. Thus the joys of secretly dating your publicist.
He walked into his drivers room and found you on his bed, laptop on your lap as you answered call after call. You didn’t even spare him a glance. Fuck that. He was mad, and he sure as hell didn’t want to be alone right now. He changed and showered, then left you to work while he went out and ‘celebrated’ Oscar’s win.
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At about 2am Lily called you.
“Hi Y/n,” she sighed, the loud music making her difficult to hear.
“What club?” You sighed.
“I’ll send you my location now,” she hesitated. “Lando’s not that drunk, he’s just… sad. He’s been begging me to call you for ages, and I was holding off because I knew you’d be working all night today and-“
“It’s fine, I’m getting in my car now.”
“Thanks Y/n.”
And with that you hung up the phone. You closed your overheated laptop and grabbed your keys. The hospitality was dead at this time and all you could think about was the race. You were angry at the team, happy for Oscar, and annoyed at Lando. He hadn’t even come in to see you after, he’d given you a week's worth of work in one race, and you had no idea how to feel about what had happened today.
You pulled up outside the club and found Lando outside with Oscar. You ran over when you saw him sitting down, wondering if he was completely drunk.
“Where’s Y/n?” He mumbled to Oscar, tears in his eyes. The fans around were screaming their names as they waited for a photo, or even a glimpse of the drivers.
“I’m here,” you kneeled down beside him, taking his hand. “I’m right here.”
“Y/n,” he just stared at you as you looked over him. He looked awful. “You’re here.”
“Let’s go home, ok?”
“Please don’t be mad at me,” he begged.
You squeezed his hand, if you two were alone you would’ve hugged him and kissed all over his face, promising that you weren’t, but alas, you were all too aware of the hundreds of eyes on you. “I’m not mad at you.”
He groaned. Yeah, he was at least a little drunk. “But you’re not kissing me, you’re mad.”
“I’m going to leave you to it,” Oscar tried to hold back a laugh, but failed and decided he wouldn’t be much help anymore. “Good luck.”
You waved him off and sighed. “Lan, come on. I’ll kiss you at home,” you promised.
“Promise?”
“I promise,” you smiled, then tried to stand up but, Lando being Lando, he pulled you down and pressed his lips against yours.
Your heart stopped, and not in the usual way it did when he kissed you. The screams of the fans were drowned out by the beating in your ears.
He pulled back. “I love you. A lot.”
Fuck off. Not right now. No. He was not saying that for the first time now. That wasn’t fair.
“Lan please-“
“You don’t love me?”
Your breathing picked up, you felt sick. “Please can we just get to the car Lando?”
“Say it back!” He pleaded. “Please baby, I love you.”
“I love you too,” you sighed. “Now please can we go to the car?”
He nodded, a goofy smile on his face.
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When Lando woke up the next morning you were at the desk in his room, laptop open in front of you.
“Morning,” he said. You didn’t answer. He got up, noticing how you’d changed his clothes and mentally reminded himself to thank you. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close. “I’m sorry.”
You didn’t answer again.
“Baby?” He turned his head and looked at you. Shit.
You were crying, staring at the awful things people were saying about you two online.
Shes so ugly. How can he date her? She’s so boring. She doesn’t even go out and celebrate with the team? She’s such a stuck up bitch.
“Stop looking at that,” he closed your laptop and held you closer. “They don’t know you.”
You nodded, leaning into his body. “I’m sorry about yesterday. I wanted to talk to you about it-“
He scoffed. “You didn’t even say hello when I came in.”
“What?” You turned to him, wiping your eyes. “I didn’t hear you. I had my AirPods in.”
“Oh,” he scratched the back of his neck. “Shit.”
“And I didn’t exactly have time after the race yesterday to look up from my laptop, not after the shitstorm you caused,” you sighed, knowing you were being too harsh. “Sorry. I know yesterday was shit for you.”
He sighed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I’m sorry too. I’m sure I did something fucking stupid last night.”
You chuckled. “You kissed me in front of everyone and told me you loved me.”
His body tensed. He took a deep breath. “Wow.”
“How do you think I felt?” You chuckled. “We’re going to have to answer so many fucking questions at work.”
He paused for a moment. “What did you say back?”
“I told you the truth,” you sighed, getting up. “I love you.”
He stared at you for a moment. “I love you too,” he pressed his lips to yours in a soft kiss. The tension and anxiety you felt dissipated as he held you closer. Yes, you were still stressed and upset, but Lando loved you.
You pulled away. “We need to talk about our strategy to explain what happened yesterday-“
“Please just stop talking and let me kiss you,” he pressed his lips to your again.
You’d talk about it all later.
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navigation for my blog :)
#lando norris x you#lando norris x reader#lando norris#f1 x reader#formula one imagine#formula 1 x you#formula one x reader#formula one#f1 imagine
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Way I request a Rio x reader x Agatha where while they hate each other, Rio and Agatha both adore reader? And reader trues their best to make them be at least somewhat nice to each other while they're around
Down the Right Path
Warnings: not proofread. You are Sharon’s replacement. I had only watched the first to episodes when I started writing this. Ignore the plot holes.
Word count: ~2.9k
The witches road was a dark place. The leaves beneath your feet may have been soft but the cold and misty air bit into them. Overall you were scared, but part of you couldn’t wait for the reward. You may have been a young witch, but you knew of the roads powers. Not long after you entered a witch named Rio joined you. You could not deny both her and Agatha were totally smoking but they seemed to have a weird tension. You could only notice it briefly before you were consumed with worries of the path ahead.
“Hello replacement,” Rio purrs into your ear. You startle. “Relax, I don’t bite too much.” You give her an awkward smile.
“It’s okay, um… my names Y/n, by the way. I’m a newer witch if you couldn’t tell. It’s Rio, right?” You question, falling behind the group slightly. Rio gives you a grin.
“Lovely name, baby witch. Yes, I’m Rio. Did you know Agatha before this, you seemed to be sticking to her like glue before I arrived?” Her grin sticks but the question is said with underlying bite. You glance up ahead to where Agatha grumpily walks fast.
“Yes,” you sigh ,”Back when Wanda was hexing everyone I happened to get swept up in it. Funnily enough I was her wife. Even though it wasn’t real it stings that she knew the whole time it was a spell and didn’t help. After she forgot everyone and became a mean detective she didn’t remember me so I didn’t see her much.” You admit.
“Wow such a sad backstory. I guess that makes you another one of her ex-wives. Even if it was fake,” Rio says with an airy laugh.
Your brows furrow, “She was actually married at one point, who got the real deal?” Rio bites her lip and wiggles her eyebrow.
“Looking at her. Welcome to the ex-wives club hot stuff-“ Rio is interrupted by Agatha’s angry beckon for her.
“See you later babe,” Rio finishes with a wink and teleports up to Agatha. You stay wide eyed in the back.
“You called?” She questions with a huff.
“I don’t know what you think you’re doing with Y/n but leave your no good mitts off of her. She’s too good for you and you know that.” Agatha scolds, keeping her voice low and eyes ahead. Rio laughs.
“Oh come on, you of all people appreciate a little corruption now and then. Besides she already told me you weren’t interested in her herself. As far as I’m concerned she’s free game and a delicious way to get at you Aggie” she responds. Agatha fumes.
“Oh so you’re playing dirty now, got it,” Agatha glances back at you and you smile, making her heart beat a little uncomfortably fast. Rio’s eyes light up.
“No way, you really do care. This is going to be so fun!” She gasps. Agatha groans.
“Whatever, I’ve got places to be.”
***
The coven decided to set up camp, much to Agatha’s dismay. Agatha lit a fire for light and everyone sat around it. You sat on a log immediately followed by Rio to your left and Agatha to your right.
“So baby witch, you’re an earth witch too, what a coincidence. Seems like Wanda knew Agatha had a type,” Rio whispers in your ear, but loud enough Agatha could hear it. You feel your face heat up.
“I guess, yeah,” you laugh awkwardly, staring a little too intently at the ground. Agatha looks behind you at Rio with a death glare. Rio responds with a smile and slowly puts an arm around you.
“We have so much in common already. Tell me baby witch, you seeing anyone? It’s been three years after all.” Rio’s question takes you off guard and you look at her.
“Um, no.”
“Well what a shame.” She pauses and her eyes light up, “A pretty girl like you ought to have someone. Something… real.” Her voice sent shivers down your spine. You couldn’t for the life of you figure out if she was genuinely flirting with you or planning something else. You stand up quickly.
“I- I’m gonna go get more kindling for the fire,” you rush out before speeding away.
Still at the campfire, Rio cackles and Agatha clears her throat. Grabbing Rio by the collar and pulling her up to stand.
“You’re coming with me,” she grits out, tugging Rio harshly to the opposite direction you went.
Once alone she lets her temper burn much like the fire at the site.
“You miserable bitch, why are you going after her like that?!” Agatha hurls, her arms flailing.
“Well… hmmm. Maybe because it’s so delicious. And at first it was just to get back at you… but, and I can’t deny this, she’s a pretty thing. You never did like sharing your toys, but you mistreated this one and now she needs a new home,” Rio’s eyes light up as she watches every angry twitch on Agatha’s face. Agatha puts her foot down.
“I know I did, but that doesn’t mean you can too-“
Rios eyes widen, “Now now, who said I would mistreat her? No no no. I want her terribly. I want someone a little more malleable. Someone I don’t have to worry will trade me for silly magic tricks.” She takes turns her back to Agatha.
“Don’t you turn your back on me! You’re such a child Rio. Don’t act like you weren’t gallivanting naked with young witches in the woods while we were still together!” Agatha groans in frustration as Rio walks away, “Hey, come back here!” Rio gives yet another cackle.
“You’re still invited to the wedding!” She calls back.
Agatha, disposed of her magic still, is forced to run to catch up. Just as she’s about to jump and tackle Rio, the other witch teleports back. Agatha is left huffing on the forest floor, spitting a stray leaf out.
***
Once enough time has passed, it never really was morning on the road, everyone continues the trek. Once again you find yourself at the back of the group, trailing behind everyone else. Everyone else but Rio and Agatha of course. The both of them cling to you like urchins. They aren’t actually touching you, but they’re a breath away each.
“So…” Agatha clears her throat, “haven’t been able to talk to you much since… you know. How have you been?” She hates that Rio had to be here too while this happens but it’s better to her to clear the awkward tension between you and her asap.
You sigh slightly, “not bad, um… how’s Señor Scratchy? I miss him.” Agatha gives you a soft smile despite the pang in her chest.
“Alive and well, still my little trouble bunny. I think he got it from you,” she says, tilting her head back and forth. You giggle and roll your eyes.
“Nope, all you. He’s your familiar after all. I’m glad he’s well. I’ll have to give him a treat if I see him again.” You offer it, an underlying sadness to your tone. Agatha picks it up immediately. You missed her too but would never admit it, after all you were the entranced one while you two were together.
“When. You’ll see him again…” she corrects, making you smile softly. The sight brings hope and warmth to Agatha’s chest. She looks at you, but she’s distracted by Rios maniacal face behind your head. Sensing it’s her turn to speak Rio seizes it.
“So… Y/n, you like animals? I happen to be able to turn into many, that’s my earth witch specialty right there,” Rio says cheerily. Her grin displays her pearly whites. You turn to her, making Agatha’s heart clench.
Your eyes light up, “really, wow. I personally work with herbs and plants more but that’s incredible. I do love animals, what kinds?” Agatha internally groans at having lost your attention so marvelously.
Rio beams with pride, “All kinds, but crows and wolves I’m particularly fond of.”
You ooh, “I love birds a lot.” You add, “maybe you could show me sometime?” Rio grabs your hand, making Agatha bristle, her hair practically standing up in outrage.
“Of course beautiful, it’s a date.” Your stomach does flips at the thought but you try not to read too far in it.
“Sure,” you chirp.
***
After another day of exhausting walking camp is set up again. Agatha cannot truly remember how long the trip was originally, but it seems about right. Much to Agatha’s surprise, you ask her to talk alone with you. Rio wants to join but she knows it would affect her chances with you.
You take a deep breath. This area of the road seems darker, but the magic lull does not cease.
“Agatha, may I ask you a question?” You start. She’s suspicious but nods. “If Rio was the one on your list, why did you bring me?” She shuffles, exhaling.
She knew she would have to tell you eventually… “well, I know there’s no excuse for allowing you to be in so much pain in Westview, but I felt awful. And Rio can be more manipulative than me. Don’t trust her too much. I know I couldn’t. But… I know you can’t trust me either. You’re a bright witch Y/n. As much as it kills me to admit it I truly am sorry. For what it’s worth I was having so much fun with you that I forgot you weren’t completely there.”
Her admittance was spur of the moment, but it made her feel better nonetheless. That may have been the first time she apologized in a very very long time. To her surprise you smile at her.
“That means a lot actually. And I kinda left you there for three years, so… I guess it’s safe to say you paid the price. Even?” You say, Agatha can’t honestly believe her luck tonight. She’s starting to think that genuine apologies are some sort of witch craft too.
“Thanks. Even.” She states, but she notices the frown on your face. You glance in the directions of the camp.
“Hey,” your brows furrow, “what do you mean I can’t trust Rio?” Agatha internally squeals at her luck.
“Well, Rio has been known to flaunt around the pilgrimage if you know what I mean. It’s half of the reason we broke it off,” she switches to a mumble, “the other half was me.” Your eyes widen.
“Oh…”
“Besides she’s using you to get back at me.” Agatha says too nonchalantly. Your eyes widen even more.
“What?” Your tone is angry. You kick yourself for getting too hopeful. Of course, they love each other still. How could you not realize. You’re just a stupid pawn. Again! “Oh…” you say dejected. Agatha was expecting to enjoy watching your relationship with Rio burn, but her stomach develops a pit.
“Well, hey now… I mean she was, b-but-“ Agatha would rather die than admit to you that it could be real.
“Let’s just go, we have a big day tomorrow. Just try not to fight each other too much.” It’s safe to say Agatha was in deeper shit now.
***
The journey continues and both Rio and Agatha have noticed you avoiding them the best you could.
“What did you tell her,” Rio grits and Agatha sighs.
She responds with, “the truth,” reluctantly. “That you were talking to her to get back at me.”
“Well did you tell her just that or the whole truth. Did you tell her of our feelings cause right now she’s all emo like the teenager,” Rio objects, her hands grabbing Agatha’s shoulders.
“I may have omitted that part yes,” she says unashamed (she was very shamed).
“Oh my god you don’t change do you! You always were so cryptic. It’s one of the reasons I love you but-“
“Love present tense?” Agatha interrupts. She’s internally freaking out a bit but she plays it off with a smirk and a teasing tone. “Oh that’s so sweet hun. Couldn’t get enough, could you.” Rio groans and rolls her eyes.
“Oh baby- one can hate and love,” Rio smirks.
Agatha’s about to give another witty reply when a scream breaks out in the distance. They know it’s you. They break into a run… well Agatha does. Rio teleports.
You’re on your elbows trying to get away from some sort of invisible force they can’t see. What they can see is an ugly gash on your arm.
Rio immediately calls upon some vines and they thrash around. Blindly hitting something
Agatha grabs a big stick and tosses it at the creature. She holds her breath, internally freaking out. She feels so helpless, the full effects of her being without magic getting to her. Thankfully the creature lets out a yelp.
You back up more, the invisible beast swipes at you again. Alice sends a protective shield over you, giving you enough time to get away. Right as the beast is (presumably) stunned, Rio stabs a sharp root right through it.
Everything stills. Agatha kicks it carefully and there isn’t a reaction.
Now that the coast is clear both Agatha and Rio focus back on you. Lilia is holding you. The gash doesn’t look too deep but you don’t look good. You feel the cold of the road run deep through your bones.
“Oh shit,” Agatha murmurs, kneeling down.
“Jen, tell me you can find something to help her. There’s mushrooms and roots up the wazoo!” Rio stresses, her arms flailing. Jen’s eyes search the ground for any herbs or mushrooms. As if the road felt like it’s done enough, Jen spots a cure.
“Agatha, Rio, I need two rocks, preferably one pretty big and one small without dirt on it,” she says, frantically de rooting the herbs. Rio looks around and spots a rock. She frantically tosses it to Agatha who barely catches it.
“Did you just throw a rock at me!” Agatha yells. She brings the rock to Jenn. Lilia had already given her the small one.
Rio runs her fingers through her hair. “Relax bitch, you just need to work on your hand-eye coordination!” She sneers. The volume makes you wince.
“Guys- if I die please don’t let your loud-ass bickering be the last thing I hear,” you speak weakly. Jen grinds the roots and herb into a paste, using the dew of a leaf to bind it. Agatha and Rio shut up, both a little embarrassed.
“I mean seriously you both still love each other.,” you add, hissing. Jen is applying the paste to the gash. It’s chilly, but healing. It’s magic of course so the healing process quickens. Jen smiles at her work. Both let out huffs and give one another a begrudgingly hopeful look.
“No,” Rio speaks, “We just both have our eye on the same thing.” You scoff, able to sit up.
You argue, “Are you kidding, I see the way you sneak glances at one another when the other doesn’t know they’re looking. The same thing is each other.” They mull over your response but Agatha sighs and looks down.
“Perhaps that is true…” she starts, “But Rio is right too, we both want you.” Your eyes widen.
“No, you’re using me. I just want you two to get along.” You rebut. You feel as if it would be too good to be true, but you did see that you were being used. You stand and wince. “The witches road is dangerous, it’s best to get these feelings out now when we may never be able to later.”
Rio crosses her arms defensively. “No, we really do like you, each other is debatable but you my dear are the poisoned apple of our eye.” You actually give a giggle.
“I’m flattered I suppose… but Rio, that’s the cheesiest thing you’ve said to me in the time I’ve known you.” Your laugh makes Rio want to escape, but she can’t resist the fact that it completed her in a sense.
“It was,” Agatha adds, “and yes you’re part of this.” She gives you a pointed look. You smile.
“So you both mean it? No witches tricks?” You double check. if you’re about to achieve your life long dream you better make sure you’re not getting punked.
“Yes,” they sigh, exasperated and in unison. You embrace them both, putting them eye to eye between your arms.
“Well thankfully I’m still here…” you turn to Jen, “thanks to you Jen. Glad I was able to grow those herbs in time.” There’s a certain pride in your voice.
“That was you?” Agatha says surprised. You nod.
“What can I say I’m an earth witch.” You curtesy goofily.
“All I can say is that I’m glad they’ll stop the bickering now,” Lilia adds. “You lovebirds have fun with all that messed up shit.”
“You mean Agatha?” Rio chuckles.
Agatha’s eyes widen, “Why you-“
“LADIES!” you but in. “Stop that. You like each other, remember that before I force you to hold hands the rest of the way.”
“Fine” they both huff. You smile. They’re a handful, but they’re now your handful.
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‘CAUSE I THINK YOU’RE LOVELY - PAIGE BUECKERS
a/n: this is my favvv brent song it’s sooo good i suggest listening while reading :)
pairing(s): paige bueckers x female!reader
warnings: clubbing, language, smut, fingering (r!receiving), strap on use, ex!gf paige, sorta rough paige
summary: you and paige are exes and see each other at a club two months after your break up. what happens when you both confess how much you’ve missed each other?
i almost fell in love with you
after the club last night
from afar paige could see her. her ex girlfriend. you two broke up only a couple months ago but you’ve been on her mind every day since then. you were the girl of her dreams but things just weren’t working out for you two and you decided you were better off as friends.
how could she let that happen? how could she let the most perfect girl she’s ever met just slip through her fingers like that? to say she regretted her actions was an understatement.
she watched you from across the room, head pounding from the loud voices and even louder music. her eyes were on you for every move you made. they followed every inch of your body taking in every part of you.
it don’t know what you do
moneys gonna treat you right
caught in her daze, she didn’t realize how much closer you had gotten until you were practically inches away from her face.
“paige! oh my god.” you said snapping her back to reality. her eyes finally met yours and she felt like the world was spinning. “hey y/n.. it’s been so long.” she replied watching as you started moving closer.
“too long.” you replied looking up at her with a slight smile. “how have you been? what’s up?” you ask.
paige stays silent for a second before finally replying, “are we really gonna do this? act like everything is fine between us?” she looked sad but angry at the same time.
her words caught you off guard, not the type of reaction you were expecting. “what are you talking about?” you ask, locking your eyes back on hers.
paige scoffs, trying to hide the fact that she still cares about you. you don’t know that you’ve been on her mind everyday even though you’ve been broken up. that all she ever wants to do is just call you up and fuck you till she feels better.
“you know exactly what i mean y/n.” she says looking down at you. “i can’t just pretend like nothing happened between us.”
“hey! i’m not asking you to do that. i came over here to talk to you, because i’ve missed you paige. i really have.” you blurt out and you swore you could see her eyes move down to your lips for a quick second.
“i also want you to know that i’ve changed. i really have, i’m not the same as i used to be and i’m not scared anymore.” you add before paige could get a word in.
girl don’t act like you’ve changed
when we both know you can’t
those words were exactly what she wanted to hear but she just couldn’t let herself give in so easily. if you really missed her so much why did you never think to text? or call? paige would’ve died to know this information sooner.
“don’t… don’t say that. we both know it’s not true.” she replied looking down at you, this time with more fire in her eyes.
you felt hurt a little at her comment, but deep down you knew it was true. you have missed paige ever since you broke up but you’ve been too scared to do anything. scared of her rejection.
“look i’m sorry. i truly am. for everything. can we just hang out and see where the night goes?” you ask with a small smile on your face.
she was quiet for a second but then she nodded. she grabbed your hand and pulled you onto the dance floor. her hands rested on your waist as you moved yours to her neck.
god you had missed this. the feeling of her hands on your body. knowing that her eyes are on you no matter where you’re looking. you had missed everything about her.
and i know you love me
‘cause i think you’re lovely
so of course it wasn’t a surprise when you two ended up taking an uber back to her place later that night. you were now laying on her bed as she continued pumping her large fingers inside of you.
your moans filled the room as you watched paige’s every move. the way her toned arms moved as she fucked you harder. you couldn’t believe this was actually happening right now. the girl you loved was finally doing all the things you had been dreaming about for the past two months.
“oh paige.... missed this so bad.” you breathed out as paige was hitting all the right spots.
“yeah baby? you missed me fucking you like the little slut you are?” she said causing you to let out another string of loud moans. the sound was like music to her ears. “gonna give it to you just how you want it.”
girl check my coat
drop that ass on the floor
she stopped her movements before looking at you once again. “turn around.” she said blankly. you did as she said turning around so your back was now facing her.
she ran to her closet to grab a box. she opened it to reveal the strap she had used on you multiple times before. she smirked as she noticed you watching her.
once she had it on she was pulling you over to her. without a warning she was pushing up into you as your ass slapped down against her thighs.
“oh my god! fuck p! feels so good.” you yelled out as her pace started to become quicker. she placed a smack to your ass before grabbing it hard. she gripped onto your hips pushing you down further on her cock. you knew there was going to be marks left from that.
see you move on that pole
baby look at you go
“doing so good for me baby.” she let out moving her hands to cup your tits. she ran her fingers across your nipples as she started to leave kisses on the back of your neck.
your moans became louder as she continued pleasuring you. you knew you were close and you knew she could feel it too.
“paige.. ‘m gonna cum!” you said as another moan slipped from your mouth.
“want you to cum all over my cock.” she replied making you look back at her before she pushed herself into you once more.
you released all over her cock, just like she had suggested. you tried to catch your breath as you came down from your high.
she cleaned the two of you up before laying back down in the bed next you. she let out a small sigh before saying, “that was… fuck i don’t even know what to say. i’ve definitely missed that.”
you chuckled at her words, feeling yourself blush at the fact that she could barely form a sentence. “me too paige. i’ve missed you a lot.” you replied as you laid your head down on her chest.
she placed a soft kiss to your forehead and wrapped her arms around your waist. her hands stroked your hair while you both drifted off to sleep.
⇾ be sure to checkout my masterlist if you enjoyed! any type of interaction is appreciated :,)
⇾ thank u sm for reading!! i hope you guys enjoyed.. look out for more fics this week <3
#pbueckerslover °ᡣ𐭩 . ° .#paige bueckers#paige bueckers fanfiction#paige bueckers headcannons#paige bueckers x y/n#paige bueckers fluff#paige bueckers smut#paige bueckers imagine#paige bueckers x reader#uconn wbb#uconn huskies#uconn women’s basketball#wlw#lgbtq
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| SIDE EFFECTS + SAKUSA KIYOOMI.
+cw. — fem!reader, established relationship, ( domestic ) fluff, love & comfort, slight angst, mature language, atsumu being atsumu, mention of hinata and bokuto. beta-read by my beloved ray.
+wc. — 1.2k
+syn.— Sakusa has gotten used to you pretty quick ever since he started living with you but now that he has known the bliss, he does not want to go back to living alone.
+notes. — this is for flufftober ‘fond moments’ collab event for a prompt: quality time hosted by @spookuna. mdni cuz im eighteen plus blog.| redirect to blog navigation. & tagging @tetzoro for poking my pineal glad with a question that became a inspo for this <3
For almost a month, Kiyoomi has had an odd extension of routine that starts after his matches. It starts with going straight home ( to you ), and eating the dishes you made for him which was suggested by a dietitian of course! and then wait at least one hour before hitting the shower, and that too, a cold one since right after he is done drying himself he jumps into bed just to hold you amongst his chest like a hot bag; this . . .this particular moment is what he has been looking forward to for months and now it has finally become a part of his life, and if things do not go south then it might just last for the rest of his life. Just barely thinking of it gets him wide awake. If life was a sleepless dream, then he would not mind sleeping forever at the end of it with you.
Today, however, everything turned upside down. He came home a little late, just a little; ate silently without talking much. Generally, he turns into a yapper right when he sees you. He has so much to talk about yet even with all that bubbling enthusiasm he still does not forget to ask, “Babe, how was your day?”, “Aw, babe that’s amazing. I’m so proud of you.”, “What? Need me to scare the manager? Because I can.” he says while flexing his muscles wearing nothing but a towel around his torso but you know he won’t do that since he has the confidence that you can handle anything all by yourself. After all, you scared the shit out of Miya when you first met him and he will not accept but, indeed, Miya is not easily scared, especially by girls. However, this evening his responses were full of— “umm.” and “umhm” — nods and sneaking glances. The Kiyoomi that is reserved for the world has come home to you today.
And that one-hour gap, between his dinner and shower, which is generally filled with listening to you as you roam around the house and work and he follows you like a puppy is filled with frequent calls, messages, and screen time today. It sure makes you worry if not disappointed or angry. It has been a month since you two started living together, so this one hour has always been filled with making this small apartment a place that you both could call “home.” Things were slowly falling into place, turning this place into a home. You were happy, and Kiyoomi? He was the happiest man in the world.
However, crest-fallen.
Sakusa came out of the bathroom freshly showered when you were folding his clothes. Now that he can see your back properly without any thoughts lingering in his mind you look tired, sad, and perhaps. . . a little annoyed. Maybe it is not a good time to tell you the news after all but what else he can do, he does not have much time left either. He tip-toes his way towards you, slowly.
“C’mon out with it, omi. What’s up?” You say and turn towards him with a bunch of his clothes in your hand only to face a half-naked Sakusa, a pink towel wrapped around his torso, his hands in the air branching out in a form of embrace. You chuckle as you walk off to his closet but his stance remains intact just his head following you;
his jaw drops as he enquires with utmost curiosity, “How do you always know?” which earns him just an endearing glance from you. You keep the stack of his clothes on the shelf, one by one as he finally says what has been bothering him. “I have to move out. . .to Osaka.” You had to pause before keeping the last t-shirt on the stack of clothes. Your hand is still on the edge of the closet wooden frame since you know the moment you close it— is the moment you have to face such a warped reality where you would be alone in this newly bought apartment, with no omi to wait for, cook for, or take care of. . .
As if he could read your thoughts he mumbles sharply. “Babe, turn around.” He must be still in that pink towel. The air conditioner is on but it seems that he does not mind the cold today. You slowly turn around closing the cupboard with your hands at the back biting your lower lip in anticipation thinking if Kiyoomi had to tell you about moving out to you, then he must have tried all the possibilities of either staying here with you or taking you with him yet none of them must have worked because if it had, you two would not be standing so apart like two curtains drawn apart.
“Oh dear God,” Kiyoomi groans as he clutches your wrist pulling you into himself. He makes you sit on the edge of the bed while he sits on the floor, legs folded keeping his head on your lap as he draws lazy patterns on the side of your thighs with both hands, simultaneously. “I never thought I’d fall in love even though I’ve planned it in my notebook ever since I was a kid.” He turns his head up, “Now that my love is here I want to keep it, safe, forever.” The water from his hair has left spots on your long tee. You run your nails through his scalp and he lets out a low even groan saying, “So, I took a week off to spend time with you and of course to get the packing done.” He has to rake his eyes open since the exhaustion blended with being sleepy along with your tender touch is too tempting not to give in.
“What?” You ask, surprised. “You did it for me?”
“Yeah. ‘course. Why wouldn’t I?”
A black pup tip-toes its way into the room and both of you watch it walk till it halts right at your feet wagging its tail, tongue hanging out of its mouth. Both of you look at each other, and then a familiar voice turns up, “We’re here love birds.” Sakusa rolls his eyes before turning around and grabbing your bathrobe to wrap himself up probably because now his senses are back enough to let him know how chill the temperature of the room is. You put your palms over your cheeks, it has become warm again, as you look at the pup.
Just when you crouched down to pat the pup, Atsumu, Hinata, and Bokuto followed into your shared bedroom.
“So, what’re you gonna name him?” Miya asks with a big grin plastering on his face.
“Kiyo!”
“Heyyyyy.” Naturally, Sakusa protests. Bokuto and Hinata share a look holding back their laughter.
“Well, I call you Omi when I need something from you, or when I’m angry with you and I call you Mr. sakusa when we—you struggle to put your thoughts out in words so Atsumu interjects.
“ —fuck.” He is still grinning. What’s he so happy about?
“Yeah. that.” you point at him while keeping your eyes still on Kiyoomi. “So, I don’t see a problem calling him Kiyo.”
#sakusa x you#sakusa x y/n#sakusa x reader#sakusa kiyoomi x reader#sakusa kiyoomi x you#sakusa kiyoomi fluff#sakusa fluff#hq fluff#hq drabbles#hq angst#sakusa angst#hq x y/n#hq x you#hq x reader#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu fluff#hq sakusa#haikyuu scenarios#hq scenarios#hq fic#hq fanfic#hq drabble#haikyuu fanfiction#haikyuu fic#haikyuu drabbles#haikyuu angst#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x female reader#haikyuu x f!reader
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Hello!! can I request Blade, Aventurine, Jiaoqiu and Sunday (it can be Boothill if you don't write sunday) from hsr with a fem so who loves physical touch like hugs, kisses, cuddling etc but is too afraid to ask from the character because she doesn't wasn't to overstep her boundaries? Sorry if this is too specific, I'm going on through this and I just want a bit of comfort lmao, also feel free to simplify the ask if it's too much! remember to take breaks and drink water :D
"𝒴𝑜𝓊'𝓇𝑒 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓊𝓃𝒸𝑜𝓂𝒻𝑜𝓇𝓉𝒶𝒷𝓁𝑒, 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊?"
💫𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒸𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓈: Blade, Aventurine, Jiaoqiu, Sunday, & Boothill x Femalel reader
💫𝒮𝓎𝓃𝑜𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈: with a reader who loves physical touch but is to shy to ask because you don't overstep their boundaries.
💫𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈: fluff, & Spelling mistakes, added boothill as well because this would suit him so well,
💫𝒩𝑜𝓉𝑒𝓈: GUYS, I ALWAYS EAT YOUR IDEAS UP (I went over board but I'm proud of how it came out) Hope you like it!!
💫𝐵𝓁𝒶𝒹𝑒 "𝑀𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒮𝓉𝑒𝓁𝓁𝒶𝓇𝑜𝓃 𝐻𝓊𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓈"
This guy is a complete dunce when comes to you. He’ll realize what you what want when it’s spelt letter by letter right in front of his face. like Kafka smacking him in the face to treat you right and go n’ give you some love like a proper lover would to his lady.
But now, he doesn’t get at all, why you’re acting like this, just devoiding of any type of affection. Taking back your touch before apposgising about it. Why? But never answer since you like to move away so quickly that he can’t get a chance. (it’s a sad sight for everyone to see.)
He’s rough with it, Don’t get too scared if he smashes his hand on the side of your head—hitting the wall instead—the sight was akin to a bully taking lunch money from the nerd. His words come out rough—like usual really but more angry this time but it’s nothing you can make sense of at first.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
Blade was always odd but you were the odd one for being in love with him, so madly in love to the point you always liked to hang out with him even though it was more like a one-sided conversation but the fact that he cared by the fact he cared to listen to your every word (anytime he sees something similar to something you were talking about he gets it for you).
Not an affectionate man when it comes to talking or any romantic gestures, but the love is there, so does it matter? Because of the bare affection in this relationship, you thought it would make you uncomfortable if you asked for more. Yet right now you’re not exactly sure how it ended up like this.
You honestly feel bad for the brick wall behind, cracked, and dented in, all by his hand. He’s glaring so fiercely as if you insulted and spat on his face or worse. What is this even about? You aren't even sure but you feel sweat drip down from the back of your neck. Are you getting threatened by your lover no less?
“You’re…”
“...I’m what?” You can’t help but tilt your whole head at him. Just what? His hand leaves the wall, moving it to the back of your hand, sharply shoving your face in his face. You’re left in shock, what is he doing, exactly?
“What are you doing?” pulling your face back before he grabs your waist with his other hand and forcefully brings your body against him. This time he’s the one titling his head at you as if you were confused for no reason. “Since you can’t say it, I’ll do it for you.”
Huh…now you might have an idea of who told him that, curse them all, seriously. “I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He doesn’t care about that, sweet to everyone else you care so about him, but if want affection from him then that's what he's going to do.
Don't blame him too much if he pulls you in to kiss his rough lips—the complete opposite of yours—you feel like going to suffocate from the lack of air he’s letting you have when you pull away for a couple of seconds. Affection at its finest.
💫𝒜𝓋𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓊𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑒 "𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒮𝑒𝓃𝒾𝑜𝓇 𝑀𝒶𝓃𝒶𝑔𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝒻 𝐼𝒫𝒞 𝒮𝓉𝓇𝒶𝓉𝑒𝑔𝒾𝒸 𝐼𝓃𝓋𝑒𝓈𝓉𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝒟𝑒𝓅𝒶𝓇𝓉𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉"
He’s like a walking magnet when it comes to affection & especially when it comes to giving it to you.
He can see your sulking, honestly, it’s written all over your face, taking glances at him before looking back down to think a little more—it’s obvious a gambler like him should always know what his opponent is thinking (you also count). Not trying to be cruel but it’s quite cute seeing you like that.
He just chops it up to the idea of you being too shy! It’s so cute honestly. Only to be left sort of speechless when you ask if he wants you to hug, he didn’t expect that question at all, and for some reason, it makes the hug even better.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“You seem quite deep in thought,” A sly grin was plastered on his lips. The little sulker you are. Just standing there deep in thought, breaking your thoughts to glance at him, it’s just a repeating cycle. Only when he finally calls out to you, is when you finally break out from the cycle.
“Why so nervous? Hmm, hiding something?” leaning closer to your face just to see that pretty face all red by such a simple action. You’re not sure of what he might say, you just wanted more of his affection, yet you don’t want to go overboard with it, just like him uncomfortable.
Your face does say everything you're thinking, every single thought. Looking him in the eyes, it’s obvious he’s gonna get an answer from you, and you just ask away since the worst he could say is no. “Well, I wanted to ask, if you’re comfortable, I could hug you.”
The feeling of nervousness begins pooling in your stomach, getting worse when your face goes blank, processing your words.
“If I'm comfortable?”
“Just in case you didn’t like it and didn’t want it.”
For the first time, this is anyone’s ever asked him if he was comfortable with wanting something, it’s stupid that anyone would even care that much. It all just clicks together, you were worried that he would be uncomfortable when you asked for more. Can you blame him when he laughs a little—he’s probably just lost his mind.
“Come here and give your lover a nice hug.”
It feels so nice to be in your embrace, it’s nothing like any other, his hand can’t help but to go up and gently pat the top of your pretty head. He wants more, the genuine feeling of a hug like this.
💫𝒥𝒾𝒶𝑜𝓆𝒾𝓊 "𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝓁𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒳𝒾𝒶𝓃𝓏𝒽𝑜𝓊 𝒴𝒶𝑜𝓆𝒾𝓃𝑔"
That man knows everything, he’s a counsellor for goodness sake, and he reads people like books, you aren’t any different but one thing is that you’re so adorable whenever your face says what you’re thinking, it just makes him want to pinch and pull your cheeks as if you’re puffer fish.
He can see the way retracting your hand away from him or pretending to get something else as if you were a child getting caught putting your hand in the cookie jar. He sees the ways your eyes light when he gives you affection like a head pat but you never seem to ask for more when it’s so obviously written on your face.
After a long tiresome day, still finding a way to tease you a little. He’s open up and looks in such a loving gaze as you tell that you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable because you want more from him, you didn’t want to be greedy. How can he not spoil you, he wants to give you the entire world if it makes you happier.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“Too tired to even eat?”
Lifting your head off the table accompanied by a tired groan leaving your throat, looking at Jiaoqiu, his chin resting on his hand. How exhausted you were that you weren’t even in the mood to eat anything, evidenced by you before, pushing the bowl—filled food—to the side so you could rest on the table.
“You couldn’t even imagine.”
“You should take yourself more, or you might just turn into skin and bones, I'll end up being your nurse,” He chided, taking his other free hand to push the bowl back in front of you. “At least one bite” He tries to persuade you when that unappetizing expression appears when looking at the bowl.
Even when you do take the spoon at least try eating a little bit of it so it doesn’t go to waste. Only for him to pat you on the head as if you were a little kid, yet unknowingly the sulking could be seen on your face. “If you want more you could just ask.”
“I don’t need any more food.”
“I mean: patting your head, it written all over your face that you want more,” you hear the teasing in his tone, especially when his eyes open to reveal its pretty gold colour, “Now are you going to tell me what the problem is?”
“I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable for asking for more.”
Funny how people always ask for more so comfortably yet here you are sulking and struggling over the need for and wanting his attention, how could you even be greedy when you’re holding back so much? His hand just lands back on your head, gently patting your head.
“Just how cute can you be?”
💫𝒮𝓊𝓃𝒹𝒶�� "𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒪𝒶𝓀 𝐹𝒶𝓂𝒾𝓁𝓎"
He's a part of the overthinker club, overprotective of you and wanting to keep you safe, when he feels the one-sidedness of your relationship, he’s stuck at a stump, odd right? He’s thought of every possibility of everything until perfection.
He's always been busy. so romantic relationships are easy to read and understand from the outside but now he’s in one with you, he tries to be as delicate and perfect as he can along with equal footing with each other, in short, what does he do? Are you disinterested in the current way things are going? Never returning his affection or love, one thing that you quiet or don’t enjoy but no it’s not that at all.
You see the relief in his eyes when it comes to light what you were keeping quiet, which somehow makes him fall for you even more by the fact you just care so much about his well-being, makes his heart warm at the fact you worried about what he’s feeling.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“Do you feel unfilled in our relationship?”
As night took over the sky, took away any light except the from the moon that was shining down, giving most people the signal to go to bed and rest for the night.
For you and Sunday it was no different, getting ready for the night after a long day, yet it seemed to only you who was actually, Sunday on the other hand watching you, arms crossed while against the door frame.
When those odd words left his mouth—along with the most serious and emotional expression you’ve ever seen on his face—even you were left in slight shock, this completely out of nowhere.
“Of course I am. Maybe you’re tired after such a long day of work.” you smile at him, going past him to go to bed, in the hope that possibly, he’ll take off his clothes and rest with you.
In swift motion, his arms wrap around your waist, bringing your back against his chest, his face in neck. You could feel his warm cheek against your neck, feeling the soft feather of his wings against the back of your head, you could feel your breath stop.
“Does my touch repulse you?”
“Sunday, what are you talking?” The same thing again, seriously what’s happened to him to be acting like this? His arms hold you tighter.
“You never wish to reciprocate my feelings…have I done something wrong?”
You were left speechless at those words, that wasn’t true in the slightest, you wanted so badly to hug, take all of his affections that he gave you, and have more, but not sure if he would like it. If you went overboard someone from the outside could see, it wouldn’t end so well in the public’s eyes. Just so many possibilities
“It’s nothing like that. I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable by it, so I didn’t ask.”
You feel his head bury itself deeper in your neck. By that answer he can’t sigh in relief, sweet and caring as always, you had him so worried, he doesn’t blame you for caring about so much.
💫𝐵𝑜𝑜𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓁𝓁 "𝑀𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒢𝒶𝓁𝒶𝓍𝓎 𝑅𝒶𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓇𝓈"
tad bit angsty, but fluff
He’ll do anything for your affection, being with you is like feeling the sun. You legitimately make him feel alive even though his body is a scrap of his former self and who he used to be. He is scared he might ruin what he has with you, it’s just too much for him to lose you. (since you’re the only one that isn’t freaked out or scared of him)
It might just be him trying not to make you uncomfortable with his affection when he realizes you aren’t visibly saying that you like it or if you want more of his affection (undying love). He’s stumped, he's overthinking if he did something that made you despise him or something. Did he say something stupid again?
You can just see him physically down as well, it's pretty obvious. (sitting on the stairs with his hat off). While you go to check on him, he is just a little emotional until you just confused about what he’s going on about. You can see his face contort as you tell him the reason for him, he’s in shock, no relief. Everything at once.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
He doesn’t know what to do in a moment like this, his mind feels just…hazy. Or confused about the next step. You don’t like him, do you? You never want more from him, nor any hints at all. He must have done something, just something! It must’ve been when he went overboard.
He can lose you over this, not like this.
“Boothill, are you alright?”
You can't believe the sight of him like this, sitting on the stairs, hat off, hair messier than usual, his face soaked up with sadness and deep thought horrid that even you know he’s out of it. “I’m sorry if I hurt ya, I probably bein’ stupid again.” he just started pouring out, like an overfilled bucket in the harsh rain. He looked as if he was going to cry.
“Boothill what are you talking about?” cutting him off from rant to see where this idea even came from. You're not even mad at him in the slightest, “You don’t ask wanting more affection from me, then you don’t try to reciprocate it because yer’ mad at me for doing something!”
“That’s not the reason, I just didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable by asking more from you.”
“Say wha? Me?” You just see his eyes widen like they were going to pop right out of his sockets, you just see his face contort into various as he tries to comprehend your words, he just jumps up like a rocket, staring at your nervous face.
“Come on I'm like hunk a metal for a man, n’ you don’t wanna make ME uncomfortable? I’ll kill for one of yer’ kisses! Or anything!”
His hand lands on your shoulders, looking at you with the most love-burning gaze you have ever seen from him, he was serious about this, about you. He presses his forehead against yours, tightening his hands on your shoulders. “Can I kiss ya silly then? Since you don't mind.”
The second you said yes, he leaned in to kiss you on the lips, a bit rough, but he didn’t want to pull away, not more than a second.
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#✧*:・゚✧:・ Yurinna's Writing :・゚✧*:・゚✧#aventurine x reader#aventurine x you#aventurine hsr#sunday hsr#sunday x reader#sunday x you#honkai star rail x you#honkai star rail x reader#star rail#star rail x reader#hsr x you#hsr x reader#honkai star rail#hsr fluff#boothill x reader#boothill x you#hsr boothill#boothill hsr#hsr jiaoqiu#jiaoqiu#jiaoqiu x reader#jiaoqiu x you#hsr blade#blade x you#blade x reader
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the one in which spencer didn’t tell you about meeting his ex
genre: angst, fluff
warnings: silly spencer, silly reader but happy ending because i’m too soft for this
a/n: i just saw that video with mgg and his ex and got sad. honestly thought i just want him to be happy with whomever
“I don’t think that’s fair”
You stand in front of your boyfriend, trying your best to understand why he acts the way he does. Although, it’s been almost twenty minutes since you started this conversation. Annoyance mixed with pain and confusion are spreading through your chest like ivy.
“What do you mean it’s not fair?”
Spencer looks bewildered. As if you aren’t speaking the same language he does. As if he doesn’t understand how his actions make you feel.
“I mean what I said, Spencer. You are not being fair” you grit through your teeth.
Deep breaths. You try to look at the clouds through the kitchen window; soft and white they are drifting in the sky. Look anywhere but his face because you are sure you will start crying pretty soon.
“I just went for a coffee with friends”
You leave an exasperated sigh, almost choking on it. The way he said it so nonchalantly and simply it breaks your heart. Your eyes search his face for any sign of delusion.
“She is not just a friend Spencer. You dated for three years. You wanted to propose!”
“I didn’t plan to see her that day. She just joined us for a coffee. I don’t understand why you are getting so angry about it.”
Because he didn’t tell you. Because he came home after work acting as if nothing happened. Because you love him so much sometimes it scares you. The fact that he loved his ex enough to propose makes something small and ugly churn at the pit of your stomach.
“Im not angry. Im upset because I found out about this from Penelope and-”
“Your face is flushed, nostrils flared and you are clenching your fists. You are clearly angry”
“Don’t profile me!”
“Technically, it’s not profiling since you are not a criminal and you didn’t commit any-“
He’s rambling with his brows stitched together. His hands are moving as if he’s explaining something so simple only you can’t understand. You can hear ringing in your ears. It’s getting harder to breathe.
“No, stop it. I can’t talk to you anymore”
You dismiss him and bolt towards your bedroom. His bedroom. You shut the door and let your body collapse on the floor. With your knees pressed tight to your chest and your back pressed to the wooden floor you finally let yourself cry. For some reason, it was always difficult for you to cry in front of Spencer when you were arguing. You would feel defeated. Now, hot tears are streaming down your cheeks as you think about the conversation you had earlier in your relationship. How he was in love with his ex girlfriend and how he even bought the ring. How she broke his heart by the phone. How he was scared to fall in love again because of how damaging the whole experience was for him. How he struggled to open up. You wipe your wet face when you hear a hesitant knock.
“Hey…Can we talk?”
Spencer’s voice is soft and full of warmth and you just hate the way he affects you. The way he makes your heart jump out of your chest, beat rhythmically with his own, squeeze so tightly it hurts.
“Depends” you sniff.
“I apologise”
You stand up and open the door. Even though you try your best to look cold and distant, you look wounded and lost.
“Oh, angel..”
You can see his hand twitch at the sight of your red eyes.
“You should have told me”
“I know. I panicked. I honestly didn’t know she would want to sit with us and then Derek-“
“But you understand why I’m upset?”
His eyes are big brown circles. Like a deer in the field he is watching you.
“I think?”
“Spence, you were so in love you wanted to get married. The fact that you tried to hide that you met up with her is so…painful”
Vision is getting blurry and you start blinking rapidly. Spencer just stares at you. Silence is so loud you can’t bear it.
“You think I have feelings for her”
He finally speaks. You don’t say anything because you’re not sure. Do you? Your gaze falls to the ground. Spencer makes a step towards you. His big palms reach behind your back. Your face is pressed to his chest and you feel helpless.
“I’m so sorry, angel. There’s no one else but you. You know that. I need you to know that. I love you so much. Please, tell me you know that. The only reason I didn’t tell you is because I didn’t want to upset you and I understand now that I was wrong and stupid and you deserved to know”
Spencer kisses the top of your head and rubs your back.
“Nothing happened. I swear. Derek and Penelope were there and they can confirm that. She just joined us for a coffee and left. Please, forgive me for not telling you straight away”
He pulls away to take a look at you. You know he is telling the truth. You know that there’s a part of you that feels a little insecure but that’s not his fault. Spencer never did anything to make you doubt him. He was always so caring and loving and attentive that it’s easy for you to believe that he just wanted to protect your feelings.
“You are the only one I want”
He kisses your forehead and you melt. More tears are pouring down your face but mostly because of how overwhelmed you feel. How much love and even relief you feel after his words. Spencer brushes the tears away with his thumbs.
“Please, don’t cry. I don’t know what else to do. If you want me-“
“No, I believe you. I just…I love you so much it’s scary sometimes”
Spencer smiles and plants a sweet kiss on your lips.
“I know exactly how you feel”
You pull him into another kiss. A more sensual one. The desperation and need to feel him right now is so intense you just want to drown in him. Good thing that he indulges you.
#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds x you#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid prompt#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid angst
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Death Wish 7
Warnings: non/dubcon, mentions of crime, violence/abuse and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Character: mob!Bucky Barnes
Part of the mob drabbles au
Summary: you’re desperate for a way out of your life and you ask a powerful man for help (plus!reader)
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️
Photo Inspo
There’s no casket for the funeral. In this neighbourhood, that’s expected. After the usual affair at the church, all are invited back to the house to pay their respects. You put the only picture you have of your father on the mantel; his wedding photo.
You dress in black but not for your father. You’re mourning your sisters. Yourself. You dress in sombre slate for the uncertainty of it all. The colour is as dark as your guilt. You brought this fear upon them.
You didn’t think about any of this. Barnes was entirely right in that regard. You didn’t think any of it out. You weren’t thinking at all. You were angry and tired. Now, it’s done and there’s no going back to what was. You don’t truly want to do that but you don’t see a path ahead that’s much better.
The people there are there because it’s expected. They are your father’s associates. Not family or friends. Funerals are part of their job description.
You walk numbly from room to room. You haven’t cried. You haven’t had a tear for your father in years. You try to make yourself look distraught but all you feel is empty.
Adrienne sways between bouts of bawling and soft sniffles. Kitty is stronger. She busies herself with the flowers and thanks every guest for attending. You accept their condolences but offer little in return.
You’re all just pretending. You’re acting like you’ll miss him. You won’t. Even if your sisters are stunned and just as scared as you, you know they aren’t sad. You all wished for this the very night before the envelope showed up. The night that you... killed him.
You sit in one of the mismatched chairs set out to accommodate the guests. The neighbours lent some of their own for the event. You are worn through. You haven’t slept more than an hour at a time since you pulled that trigger.
You won’t tell yourself it’s regret, you were never more certain of anything in your life. No, you know exactly what it is. Dread. You have a debt to pay.
A figure appears in the open door. You see him through the archway of the front room. You stand as the new arrival stops just within the frame. A slow hush rolls over each guest. You look at Kitty as she glances over from the tray of cookies she spent all night making. She sees him too.
Your older sister goes to Adrienne and touches her shoulder. The youngest lifts her head and peers up as all attention aims at the arched doorway. Barnes fills it easily. He looks around. His suit seems blacker than usual.
It isn’t a surprise. He’s the boss. He’s expected to see his men off. He nods at you, then your sisters. You go to them, standing with Kitty behind the sofa as she keeps her hand on Adrienne.
“Please,” Barnes waves your younger sister from standing. “Stay. I’m sure it’s been a long day. I’ve only come to pay my respects.”
He looks between you all then sidesteps the couch. He goes to the mantle and considers the wedding photo. He bows his head and reaches into his jacket. He sets a silver coin in front of the frame. It’s an old tradition. Back in the 30s, people would leave pennies on the church altar to help pay for the burial.
He takes a deep breath and backs up. He turns to face the room. The people in it might be familiar but they are just as much strangers to you as someone on the street. They don’t care about you, they don’t even care about your father. They’re only there because that’s what you do.
“Thank you all for coming. You may go,” Barnes says.
There’s a moment of hesitation. Then, the men in suits and their wives, shuffle out obediently. Kitty grabs her hand and squeezes Adrienne’s shoulder. You watch the man they call the king.
When the room is empty, he goes to shut the front door. He returns and stands just inside the archway. He peers around again.
“Your father died as one of mine, that means you’re all under my protection. Consider the casket paid for,” he says.
“Thank you, Mr. Barnes,” Kitty says. “That’s very generous.”
“I do it for all my men. I try not to lose too many,” he replies grimly. “I want you girls to tell me if you need anything. Got it?”
Adrienne smothers a sob and nods frantically. Kitty hushes her and leans in to pet her head. You stand staunchly beside them, staring at him. His eyes cling to you.
“Catch your breath, doll,” Barnes says. “Calm her down.” He points at Kitty then you, “Your daddy got a gun safe?”
You look at your sisters. You can see the glisten in Kitty’s eyes. She’s good at taking care of people. You’re not. Adrienne needs her. You did this. You gotta deal with it.
“Yeah, upstairs,” you answer as you step around the couch.
Barnes waits until you’re level with him before he turns. He lets you lead him out and follows you to the second floor. You take him to your father’s bedroom and push the door open. You can���t go inside. You were never allowed. Not unless you wanted a taste of your father’s belt.
“I don’t know the code,” you say.
“That’s fine. Just needa know it’s here. I’ll have my men sort that out,” he rocks on his feet. “We needa talk.”
You nod.
“Privately,” he glances over at the staircase.
You look at your father’s door and take a step back, “not in there.”
“Right, wherever you like,” he shows his palm indifferently.
You turn and guide him to your room. You pause before you let him inside. You’re embarrassed as he enters. Your basket of laundry is overflowing and your makeup is still strewn all over from your erratic morning.
He paces around your bed and you shut the door. He’s quiet. So are you. The tension is enough to make you squirm. You just want him to come out and say it.
“It’s me. I owe you. Not my sisters--”
He raises his index finger. “You do.” He stops and faces you. “And so did your daddy. He had his hands in my pockets. Deep. I coulda had him done for that. Coulda done it myself. Then I thought about it. I do that, I brand him a thief, and what does that mean for his girls?”
You stare at him, chest aching as your heart pounds.
“The house and what he actually brought in, it isn’t close to even with what he took,” he crosses his arms, setting his feet flat. He lifts his chin. “I really shoulda done it myself but you wanna know why I didn’t?”
You can’t talk. He’s toying with you. You look down at the floor as if you might see your sisters through the boards.
“Ah, eyes up here,” he comes closer until he’s right in front of you. Your eyes flick up and wet with tears. Finally. “I wanted to know if you would do what needs to be done. If when the hammer comes down, that you won’t crack.” His eyes flick up and down and he sucks his teeth. “You didn't. You didn’t fucking flinch either.”
“He deserved it,” you whisper, voice wobbling.
“I know he did, doll. And I know you deserved to do that,” he says. “And what I saw that night, I never seen that before. That’s a woman with steel in her gut. The kinda woman a man like me needs.”
Your forehead creases in confusion. You don’t know what he means.
“You want me to... take over for my dad? I can’t--”
“Ha, no, no,” he startles you as he brings his hand up. You flinch and he keeps his hand aloft. His eyes spark and he tilts his palm, gently caressing your cheek as if coaxing a street cat. “This isn’t woman’s work. No, doll, all I want, is you.”
Your eyes round and you shiver against his touch. He smirks.
“And I know, just like in that warehouse, you’re going to do exactly what needs to be done,” his thumb strokes your cheekbone. “For your sisters.”
#bucky barnes#dark bucky barnes#dark!bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#death wish#series#drabble#mob au#au#winter soldier#captain america#avengers#marvel#mcu
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[✶] — YOUTUBER!ELLIE HEADCANNONS
DISCLAIMERS & WARNINGS — EIGHTEEN PLUS, usage of cursing, mentions of kicking vagina (idk what else 😭)
AUTHOR’S NOTE, hoorah!
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who will never in a million years stop saying out of pocket shit.
She’s playing nun massacre by the creators puppet combo when she starts talking her shit — she is a bark, no bite type of a girl.. — “Let that nun come in here, Ima Liu Kang kick her coochie.” she says, her eyebrows furrowing in concentration with a hint of fear. (autocorrect hella fear). She’s a room, crouched by a drawer, searching for items when she continues her rave. “Phoosh, me, scared?” she rolls her eyes with too much confidence. “I wanna see that saggy titty bitch come—“ she cuts herself off when the screen start glitching indicating the enemy nearby and immediately scurries in a corner.
The moment she’s in the corner, she looks striaght into the camera, expression changed within seconds. “Guys—no, i’m not scared.” she whines when she hears footsteps. Let’s just say she is, not that she’ll admit it.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who swears she’s not flexing when she shows her goosebumps.
“You guys don’t know how clenched my asshole is… AHH!—stupid ass bird!” she shouts when a jumpscare plays. “I got the chills, guys. Look, not even tryna to flex so don’t go in the comment saying that I am.” She pauses the game and promptly lifts the sleeve of her shirt to show the camera her muscles that are practically bulging out — yeah totally not “flexing”.
“You guys see them? The chills that kill.” she says, looking at her arm through the face cam and running her finger along her beefy bicep to point out the nonexistent goosebumps.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who made a challenge for herself to post everyday for a month, but never has accomplished it.
“Guys, I swear on my uncles saggy tits, i’m gonna get this shit done.” She says, running a hand through her hair, seeming determined, yet somewhat stressed about it. Which her fans seem to notice almost instantly, making the comments on that video very sweet. :(
Itsme123: “Hey man don’t overwork yourself, you’re doing great!
Purpleismyfav: “You don’t stress yourself out over a challenge, we’ll always be here!
Gayforelliewilliams: “You got this! We love you, Ellie!
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who starts posting vlogs more often that consist of her making breakfast, working out (which gets deadly amount of views.), her walking around the city she lives in.
Youtuber!Ellie who’s a fucking idiot when recording one of these said vlogs when she unexpectedly meets you, but her first impression does leaves a mark behind!
“Yo, guys, look at this fine ass girl.” she says, pointing the camera towards you before realizing what’s she doing can end with her sitting in a jail cell and almost drops the camera trying to face it towards her again, hoping you didn’t notice her antics, but you did.
The first impression wasn’t great…you immediately came up to her, angry. “Hey, you creep! Why the fuck are you recording me?!” you interrogated.
God, she knew this wasn’t the right time, but the way you yelled at her was so hot. “I’m…Im sorry…I didn’t mean to! I was just recording for my blog, uhm, I’ll cut it out.” her eyebrows furrowed in concern, she felt her face drop, losing its warmth. She didn’t want to come on as a creep who records random women! Even though thats what she was doing in the moment minus the creepy intentions part, but nonetheless that was the last thing she wanted to be!
“Please do!” you frown, and walk away. “The decency on some people!” Ellie can hear you say as you walk off.
A defeated sigh escapes her lips, and she immediately opens her camera again. “Y’all, I messed up my chance with another baddie…” she says with a sad huff.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who’s in bed, days later scrolling on tiktok with her chip coated fingers that leave behind residue stains when she sees a familiar face. Licking her fingers, she pauses the video, and looks at one of the girls being interviewed on what song they were singing to. It was you.
What were the chances of her ever seeing you again? Literally, zilch, but here she is commenting, “Yo, who’s the 4th baddie? 🌝”
It took about ten minutes to get mutliples comments and likes, but she didn’t care, she was looking for you, not the other comments responding to hers saying, “Nooo, my chances with are ruined 💔” or “Ellie’s a simp.”
Until one of her fans did pull through, and @ you.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie’s heart pounding out of her chest as she scrolled through your tiktok. She could feel her cheek becoming warm, just looking through your media, and after a little stalking, she followed you.
When you got the notification, and mutiple tags of people saying this about a girl named ellie? You opened your phone and scrolled through tiktok until.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who got a notification on tiktok that you followed her back. Let’s just say she almost recreated her infamous scene of her falling out of her chair.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who accidentally pressed the “👋👋👋”
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who screamed “No!” when she realized she did, and threw her phone across the room.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who was throwing clothes around her already messy room trying to find her phone that she threw after hearing her phone ring.
“Where are you, you fucking—Ahah, Got your ass!” she squeals, and looks at your response, “Hey, you’re that one creep who recorded me, aren’t you?”
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who was surprised with how smooth you two were getting acquaint. She obviously asked for your number because she fucking hates texting on tiktok, plus who does that? And you two were actually hitting it off.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who doesn’t immediately want to reveal her career, wanting to be known for her, not for her channel. So when you ask if she was a youtuber, Ellie plays it off smoothly… at least that’s she think…
“So what was with the camera? You have a fetish for fliming random girls?” you voice receiving on her end of the phone, causing her to wince.
“N-No…” she sighs, feeling her face heat up as she thinks of an explaination that doesn’t expose everything.
You couldn’t help, but to laugh, making Ellie’s heart flutter at the sound of it. “You know I’m kidding, right?” She could hear your smile through the phone, making one appear on hers.
“Yeah, no, of course!” she responds quickly, but after curses herself mentally for being so awkward. “Uhm, it was just a project for my film class.”
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who did ask you out on a date (finally) and was extremely nervous for it that she sent out a tweet asking for tips on what not to do, but was met with her fans teasing her.
Andrewking101: “Make sure to leave your camera behind!”
Princessbubblegumfan14: “Make sure your flyer is up.”
FinnyDinny101: “Don’t fall out of the chair!”
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who trips four times on your date together.
“Youre pretty clumsy.” a giggle can be heard from you which makes Ellie turn even more red.
“Yeah, sorry, you just keep making me fall to my knees.”
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who preread her stupid puns book, for just in case.
“Speaking of grapes,” she smirks. “What did the green grape say to the purple grape?”
You smile, already starting laugh. “Uhm, I don’t know, what?”
“Breathe, you idiot!”
Let’s just say your first date was one of many dates that bloomed into something more!
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who was finally came clean on the third date and was extremely nervous to tell you about her career. Since there was a chance you wouldn’t think being a youtuber was a real job, but you took it rather well.
“Ellie, I know that already. Didn’t really take rocket science.” you deadpan, your face too serious for her comfort.
“Oh,” she trails off, looking away as she scratches the back of her neck. “Right…” she whispers, cursing herself for being an idiot.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who accidentally kinda exposes your relationship, a week after of you guys making it official. But she played it cool.
…at least she thinks that.
“Yeah, my girl—“ she stops, accidentally swallowing the food she was chewing when she realize what she was gonna say. “I mean friend likes sushi too.” she says in between coughs.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who turns paler than she is now when she sees pictures surface rather quickly of you two out in public. What did she expect honestly? Her fans are borderline insane and delusional for her, were they not gonna catch on? What made Ellie more scared is the “don’t get a fuck” outfit she had on compared to the outfit you had on. Girl legit looked like a bum holding hands with a goddess, and as usual her fandom did not take it lightly.
Kingpin123: “WHATT YOU GOT A FUCKING GIRL?
Wolfgangnation: This just came in, Ellie Williams from Ellieswolfgang has a girlfriend! I repeat she has a girlfriend!
fleshunger: NOOOO HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! TO OUR KIDS?! 💔
Ellieswife: How did bro get that? LOOKING LIKE THAT 😭
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who has relief when her fans like you, and instead dogged on her for looking like a cat’s hairball, but you assure with many cuddles and love that you’d still love her if she was.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie’s followers finding soon after the reveal of you find Ellie reposting shit like this on TikTok.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who makes tiktok’s like these randomly, and her comments are just as expected.
GamergurlHJ: Oh to be Y/N… 😞
Skibidi1233: Me and who?
Justinbieberfan1294: Stoppp they’re actually so cute I can’t 😭
But also you guys.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who puts you in her vlogs and legit has to cut some of the clips short because it’s full on just her groping and kissing you like goddamn give the girl some breath, ellie!
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who now cannot stop talking about you in every single youtuber video. It’s literally oh, y/n this, y/n that. It’s ridiculous, even her fans in the comment section start a count on the amount of mentions.
FREEPALESTINE: thirty in today’s video, y’all… 😐
Happyveevee: If my girlfriend isn’t like this, i don’t want ‘em. 💯
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who purposefully plays games that you helped program in just to mention you.
“Oh, shit, guys! My girlfriend worked on this game! She so fucking cool, man.” she smiles to herself, knowing damn well she knew.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who’s caught being a cutie by yours truly on one of her vlogs at the beach. it goes on like standard blog, the buildup to the now resting point.
The camera pans to ellie on a lawn chair, focused, so focused in fact if you looked closely you’d see the tip of her tongue poking out of her lips ever so slightly. Accompanying her are two remotes, one in hand and another on her lap. Below resting on the sand are two toy construction vehicles; an excavator and a dump truck. The remote in her hands seems to be controlling the excavator since it’s promptly picking and pouring sand on the back of the dump truck, making a miniature ant hill.
You couldn’t help but to snort at her antics which are utterly adorable in your eyes, but your snickering doesn’t go unnoticed, catching the auburnette’s attention. “Hey, are you recording me?” she frowns, intentionally giving you puppy eyes.
You giggle, nodding. “Yup, and you better keep it in the video, or else.” you threaten playfully with a smirk.
“Or else, what?” she retorts playfully, scooping up sand and commanding the machine towards your direction. “Uhh—Ellie, what are you doing?” you raise a eyebrow, but soon get your answer when she pressed a button, promptly making the machine pour its content on your thigh. “Ellie!” you scoff, instinctively lifting your thigh up and accidentally sending the sand all over you. Ellie’s laugh serve as background noise from your muttered curses as you shook all the sand off of you.
On the bright side she kept that part in the video!
YouTuber!Ellie who’sliterally that one audio “I like him. I like that autistic man.”
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie’s fans dogging on her for the way she act with you on camera.
Lilwaynetay: Bro the type to call her “mommy” while giving her this look “🥺”.
NBAstarfan: Bro the type to be at the dinner table with her knife and fork upright and cloth wrapped around her neck.
Not gonna say which one is true…
PREVIOUS PART - SECOND PART
[✶] — PERMANENT TAGLIST, @dyk3ang3l, @elliesprettygirl, @les4elliewilliams, @r3starttt, @slut4mascss, @marsworlddd, @bready101, @abbysleftbicepp, @airenaa, @caraphernellie, @astralnymphh, @whore87, @kaiilectric, @sapphicontherun, @mikellie, @nihilisticangelbby
[!] — PLACE AGES AND PRONOUNS IN BIOS, if you have plans to be added to my taglist!
#──⋆˙ᝰ⨯ writings from the heart ֙#youtuber!ellie#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x f! reader#ellie williams x f!reader#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x you#ellie williams fanfic#ellie williams fanfiction#ellie williams au#ellie williams imagine#ellie williams headcanons#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams the last of us#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams masterlist#lesbian#wlw#the last of us#ellie tlou#ellie the last of us#ellie fanfics#ellie fanfic#ellie x reader#ellie x you#ellie x fem reader#the last of us part 2#the last of us fanfiction
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