#I’m really worried for when I move out and school starts again
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thehoneybeestings · 2 days ago
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──˚₊•Sugar Plum•‧₊˚──
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Word Count: 2.3k
Synopsis: After years of competing for the title of Star Senior at Piltover Springs Dance School, the hatred that Violet Lanes and Y/n Y/l/n have garnered for each other is rendered a waste when in a turn of events, they are both awarded the distinction. When this forces them to confront what feelings they have for each other outside of unbridled loathing, they find that the line between hatred and lust is much finer than they thought...
Continuation of this headcanon (can be read alone, though; you'll just miss out on some context)
Content/Warnings: nsfw, smut!, top! vi, bottom! reader, low-key softdom! vi, lowkey subby! reader, reader has female anatomy, reader referred to with feminine terms/pet names (princess, good girl, etc.), pussy eating (r receiving), fingering (r receiving), semi-public sex, mirror sexxxx, lots of consent checks bc vi you are so sweetie, can't not think of Wicked when i hear the phrase "unadulterated loathing" so i am sorry if you are in the same boat
A/N: okay guys... here it is teehee. thank you SO much for all of the love on my dancer! vi x dancer! r headcanon; I honestly did not expect it! i really really enjoyed writing for this little plotline and I'm glad you guys enjoyed it, too; and i hope this scene brings it justice... enjoy! mwah ha ha
Love, Bee ୨ৎ
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You’re not quite sure how seven years of pure, unadulterated loathing between you and Violet Lanes had led to this; Vi, with a knee slotted in between your legs, hands splayed across your torso as she kissed you, and you, pinned between her body and the ballet bar behind you, whimpering into her mouth as you rode her thigh… 
The two of you were staying late at the dance studio to see if you could finally manage to perfect the lift in your duet that had been kicking your ass, and somewhere along the way, you’d found out just how fine the line between hatred and lust could be. 
What possessed you to step- no, leap- over said line, you didn’t know, but you resigned to mulling over that later, when your sworn enemy wasn’t pulling at the hair on the nape of your neck.
Her tongue traces the line of your throat before she latches on; it isn’t long before she gets carried away and you let out a hiss at the pinch of her teeth on your pulse. 
Her movements come to a halt. “Shit,” she’d exhale, “Sorry, didn’t mean to-”
“Keep going.” 
She raises a brow, rearing her head back to look at you.“Yeah? I'm gonna leave a mark if I do.”
“I don’t care what you do, just want you to keep going.”
Who is she to deny such a sweet request?
She resumes her attack on the sensitive skin until the mark on your neck is to her liking. She pulls back to assess her handiwork, and you can’t help but chuckle at her concentration through your haze. 
“Seriously? I think you're good, Vi.”
“Just makin’ sure,” she’d say with a lop-sided grin. 
You shoot her a grin of your own. “Don’t worry; I know you don’t like to share.”
“No,” she begins before leaning in, her smile barely brushing your own, “I don’t.”
Your lips would meet again, tongues moving slow and languid against each other as she rocks into you just the same. The contact- however delicious- isn’t quite enough, and it’s starting to drive you crazy. Your breath is getting heavier, your whines more shameless, and you’ve started meeting each rock of her leg with the rock of your hips. You’re chasing more- you need more- and Vi can tell. 
She’s not going to make it easy for you, of course. 
She plants the heel of her foot back on the ground, separating her knee from the heat between your thighs.
“Wh-what?” You plead breathlessly, “Why’d you stop?”
“You sure you can handle this, sweetheart? You’re falling apart and I’m not even inside you yet.”
Your eyes shoot up to meet hers, wild and desperate. 
“What,” she’d ask, cocking her head to the side, “Is that what you want? You want me inside?” 
You nod frantically. “Yes, yes, please, that’s what I want.” 
You swear you can see her pupils blow out. You were begging for her. You’d been icing her out for the past seven years, and now, here you were, begging for her.
If this was a dream… then she was sure she’d wake up soon, and she wanted to taste you first.
“Can you hold out for just a little longer?”
Your eyebrows knit together in confusion. “I mean, yeah… why?”
And then, Violet Lanes is on her knees in front of you.
“Oh. That's why.” Your smile is bashful as you look down at her, heat rising to your cheeks.
“Can I?” She peers up at you, hands toying with the waistband of your sweatpants.
“Fuck yes, you can.”
A satisfied smirk spreads across her face, and she tugs the sweatpants down to your ankles, leaving you to step out of the rest of the pooled material.
“Alright, baby; toss your leg up,” she commands, guiding your leg over her shoulder with a hand behind your thigh. Your hands grip the ballet bar behind you, and you hope to God you’ll be able to hold yourself up through the feeling of her mouth on you.
“You good? Holding on tight?”
“Yeah, yeah; I’m good.” 
She nods from below you with a smile, and her hand comes trailing up the calf swung over her shoulder to the plush of your thigh seated next to her head. She’s got an arm wrapped around your other leg, securing you in place.
Your breath begins to stutter as she places open-mouthed kisses on the inside of your thigh, your body twitching and tensing in anticipation each time she grows closer to where you need her.
“Relax,” she purrs, thumb rubbing circles into the meaty flesh beside her.
You nod, closing your eyes and leaning your head back with a sigh; and when she finally places a kiss on the patch of wetness soaking through your underwear, you fucking melt.
“Good girl,” she draws out, feeling your weight press into her fully. “You still good with this?”
“Violet, I’m gonna lose my mind if your mouth isn’t on me in-”
You yelp as she pulls your underwear to the side to lick a stripe up from the nectar pooling at your entrance to the hardened pearl above it. 
“Not sure you’re in any position to make demands here, sugar plum.”
Your eyes roll back into your head when she attaches her lips to your clit, and when she sucks, your hand shoots down to grab at the hair on her crown. 
She moans into you- noted- and her tongue darts back down to lap at your wetness, trailing up, then down, then up, then down, collecting as much as she can on the tip of her warm tongue. 
“Fuck, princess; you taste so fucking good.”
She barely lets herself finish her sentence- words muffled in your pussy- before she’s back on your clit, swirling her tongue in circles around the swollen bud. 
The grip you have on her hair is tighter now, your thighs trembling, your features knit together in pleasure; you look down to find Vi so lost in between your legs that you don’t even think she notices how close you are.
You loosen your grip on her hair to tap rapidly on her shoulder. “V-Vi, baby,” 
As pussy drunk as she is, her head still snaps up at the sound of the pet name on your tongue. Her lips are swollen and glossy with your slick, her cheeks flushed red as the hair on her head. 
“What’s up, princess?” 
“J-just… gonna cum soon,” you pant, “want you inside first…”
“Yeah?” she smirks, gently guiding your leg off of her shoulder. She stands up, hand gripping your waist as she leans to press a sloppy kiss on your lips; and fuck, you can taste yourself on her mouth. 
“Wanna cum on my fingers?” She asks in between kisses; and you nod against her mouth, hand on the back of her head pulling her impossibly close.
She chuckles into your mouth before pulling away to drink in your features; your pleading eyes, your soft lips, the rapid rise and fall of your chest.
“You’re beautiful.” 
There was that look: so soft. So soft that you could hardly stand it, your head lowering in order to escape it. 
“Oh? You’re shy now?” 
You giggle- and she wonders if that sound had always been so sweet- before pushing at her chest.
“Shut up. I'm not shy.”
“Oh, yeah?” The raise of her brow and the cockiness of her voice says she’s got something planned. 
“Turn around for me, then.”
“I-I… what? I’m-”
“Turn. Around.”
Her grip on your waist tightens, and she’s twisting your hips until suddenly, you’re face-to-face with your own reflection.
“There’s my pretty girl,” she lulls, head dropping down to plant a kiss on your shoulder. “You want me to fuck you?”
“Y-yeah… yeah,” you breathe out. You’re watching yourself come undone for her.
“Look at me.”
You’re a little embarrassed at how quickly you obey.
“You look away, and I stop, yeah?”
You whine. “Vi, really? Just-”
For a moment, the intensity of her gaze disappears, as if she’s dropped whatever persona she’d been assuming; as if she was making herself smaller for you
“If you don’t like this, just let me know. Don’t want you uncomfortable or all in your head, yeah?” 
You quirk a smile at her consideration. “No… I like it. I trust you.”
She smirks at you. “Just being a brat, then?” 
Your eye roll answers that question.
“Just being a brat. Got it. Eyes on me then, baby.”
And then, she’s pulling your- now soaked- underwear down to your thighs, reaching down to glide her middle and ring fingers through your slick, and your eyes flutter shut, and you’ve already broken the one rule she gave you.
“Y/n,” she scolds, her fingers halting. 
Your eyes fly open to find her again, and you’re muttering out a desperate apology, rocking back on her fingers, seeking any sensation you can get. 
Her free arm comes around to circle your waist, holding you in place so that you can’t chase your release on your own. “I gave you one rule, sweetheart. Keep those pretty eyes on me and I promise I’ll make you cum.”
You nod frantically, eyes never leaving her own, even as she brings her fingers up to rub your own wetness into your clit; even as those fingers sink into you from behind, three knuckles deep.
“Jesus fuck,” she curses, “fuckin’ swallowing me.”
Your thighs are already shaking, your walls fluttering around her fingers as they adjust to the new fullness.
“Gonna move now, okay?” she warns before pressing a kiss to your temple. 
“Yes,” you nod, “yes- fuck!”
You call out as her hand flips over, fingers rotating inside you to press into the ridges of nerves on your front wall.
“That didn’t take long to find…” she muses.
“Fuck you,” you scoff to the best of your ability- although it doesn’t really pack a punch when you look so blissed out- and Vi laughs at you.
She fucking laughs, and you remember for a moment what makes her so damn annoying; but then, she’s pistoning into you, and your mind goes blank.
You feel high off of her fingers, limbs tingling and head fuzzy, completely out of control of whatever sounds are coming out of your mouth. You can vaguely hear “fuck, yes,” and “shit, shit, shit,” and “please, Vi, please” in your own voice. You can vaguely hear the obscene sounds of her fingers moving in and out of your slick, which is, no doubt, dripping down your thighs by now. You can vaguely make out her focused expression through the stars you’re seeing.
When she brings her mouth to the shell of your ear to speak to you, though, it’s her voice that brings you back down to earth. “You with me, sweet girl? Focused on me?”
If you focus any harder on her fingers slipping in and out of you, or on the way her breath picks up in your ear, or on the furrow of her own brow, you’ll cum.
Wait… shit, you're about to cum.
“Vi,” you call out, eyes widening, “I’m gonna- I’m so close- fuck, please.”
In a second, the arm around your waist is unraveling, and she reaches down to rub tight circles onto your clit, coaxing you closer to the edge.
You can’t fucking help it; your eyes roll back, head falling back onto her shoulder, breaking the one rule she gave you.
“Sorry, sorry, ‘m sorry, I can’t-” 
You’re near tears as her hands continue their ministrations. “ ‘S alright baby,” she coos, “You’re doing so fucking good, just want you to cum for me.”
And with a guttural noise you’ve never heard yourself make, you’re doing just that; spasming on her fingers, legs shaking underneath you, knuckles white as they grip the ballet bar you’re practically doubled over. 
Vi works you through your orgasm until your hand is shooting down in between your legs, shooing her own away. “Shit, that’s enough… ‘m all done.”
She’s careful pulling out, taking the two digits into her own mouth before pulling your underwear back up in place. Her hands return to your hips, turning your body back towards her. You still haven’t opened your eyes; still trying to catch your breath.
“Hey,” she speaks softly, pulling you in, “You okay?”
When you open your eyes, she’s smiling down at you like she adores you. It’s so tender, so gentle; so much so that in the come down off the high you’d just experienced, you start to tear up.
“I’m sorry,” you begin with a sniffle, “for being such an asshole all this time.”
“Woah, woah, woah- first of all, so was I; but more importantly, you’re fucked out right now. Just worry about catching your breath for a few minutes, okay love?”
You give her a weak chuckle as she pulls away to gather your previously discarded bottoms. She leans down in front of you, guiding your legs as she directs you to put “one foot in… okay, now the other,” before pulling them up to their place on your hips.
You thank her with a smile, and she waves you off in response.
“Do you, uh…” she’s nervously rubbing the back of her neck as if she weren’t just demanding that you keep your eyes on her while she plowed you, “do you think you’d wanna come back to my place? Powder’s over at Ekko’s and my Dad has game nights with his friends every Wednesday, so it’ll just be us. We can just chill, watch a movie or something, order food if you want. Just… don’t wanna ditch you or anything, wanna make sure you’re all good after-”
“That sounds perfect, Violet.” 
──˚₊•୨ৎ•‧₊˚──
You’re not quite sure how seven years of pure, unadulterated loathing between you and Violet Lanes had led to this; a sleepover at her house, watching shitty action movies together, splitting a pizza, and falling asleep on the couch with your limbs tangled together.
But here you were. And it really was perfect; and everyone knows that you don’t settle for less than perfect.
End ୨ৎ
Taglist: @spidercat-soccerfan, @lipglosskxsses, @baylegend6
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e77y · 6 months ago
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Also feeling sad that my meds haven’t Fixed Me™️ like they sort of felt like they had a month-ish ago. I do feel a lot better in general… like despite feeling tight-chested again this morning, it doesn’t physically hurt which is good. But idk I wish it was some kind of miracle cure or whatever lol. I know mental health doesn’t work that way but a girl can dream
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keeryhours · 2 months ago
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please please please - eddie munson
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Eddie Munson x female! Hopper! reader
Masterlist
Eddie Munson Masterlist
Summary:
Eddie is no stranger to the Hawkins legal system. It’s no surprise to anyone when he’s dragged in in cuffs again, but it is unexpected when someone catches his eye - the police chief’s daughter.
Warnings:
Smut (18+), p in v, unprotected sex, oral (m receiving), dirty talk, a little bit of sub!eddie, delinquent!eddie, talk of drugs, weed use
Word Count: 6.2k
A/N:
I’ve been stuck in the worst writing slump! So glad to finally finish something I feel good about and share with you guys :)
You spent most days after school sitting around the Hawkins police station, working on your homework until your dad was ready to take you both home. You weren’t the biggest fan of sitting in the empty house alone, and waiting for him here beat having to walk home since you still didn’t have a car.
You sat at an empty desk, chin in your hand as you tapped the pencil against your paper. The gentle chatter of the station filled your ears. You were bored, tired of fighting with your math homework, wishing you could be off with your friends instead of here.
The sound of the door opening abruptly caught your attention, your eyes moving to the source of the noise. Officer Callahan came in, leading a man in cuffs. A man - as if you ever could have mistaken Eddie Munson. The ‘Freak’ of Hawkins High. With his tall, lanky build, his mess of curly hair, and his metalhead attire, he was hard to miss.
Your dad stepped out of his office, a hand running over his mustache with a sigh. “What are you doing in my station again, Munson? Didn’t you and I have a good talk?”
“Just missed ya so much, Hop,” Eddie quipped back with a grin, looking much too cheerful for his current predicament.
“Caught him trespassing at the old factory,” Officer Callahan supplied, holding onto Eddie by the back of his jacket.
“Drugs?” Jim Hopper asked.
“Just half a joint,” Callahan answered.
Hopper let out another deep sigh. “I’m trying to work with you here, Eddie. This is your fifth arrest this school year alone. Believe it or not, I don’t want to see you ending up behind bars for years of your life.”
Eddie shook his head with a grin, curls bouncing wildly. “I hear ya, Hop. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“Evidently I do,” Hopper muttered. “How about this? You can spend the night here with us tonight, and you can think about whether that’s how you want to spend your life.” He claps Eddie on the shoulder hard before he’s turning to walk back into his office.
Officer Callahan leads Eddie through the station, Eddie smiling at the other officers as they pass like they’re on a first name basis, which they probably are. When his eyes meet yours, his grin grows even wider. He has a beautiful smile, which is something you’re just now noticing for the first time. He’s really hot in general, you realize. Only when your heart starts beating out of your chest at his attention. He shoots you a flirty wink as he passes, and then Callahan is roughly taking him back to the cells.
You think about Eddie for the rest of the day. Even when your dad comes out, pulling on his coat and says it’s time to head home. Even when you’re riding home in the passenger seat of the police vehicle, Hopper trying to make conversation about your day. When you sit down and eat dinner together. And especially as you’re laying in bed in the silence of the night.
You’re leaving school 2 days later, walking through the parking lot with your backpack slung over your shoulder when you’re stopped by a voice.
“Hey, Hopper!”
You turned at the sound, eyebrows raising at the sight of Eddie Munson walking towards you. “Weird to say that name and not be talking about your dad,” Eddie laughed when he reached you, a hand running through his curls.
You looked at him, confused why he was talking to you in the first place. “Uh, can I help you?”
Eddie gave you that big smile, bowing his head to you. “I was hoping you might do me the honors of spending the afternoon with me.”
You looked at him skeptically. “Me? Why?”
“Why not?” Eddie laughed, and you couldn’t help but notice how beautiful of a smile he had again. “You seem cool. I want to get to know you better.”
That was how you found yourself in the back of Eddie Munson’s van, watching his long fingers rolling up a joint. Some kind of metal blasted from the car’s speakers, some band you definitely weren’t familiar with. Your stomach was in knots as you watched him deftly roll the paper.
“Are you sure this is okay?” you asked as Eddie finished up, realizing you’d run out of time to stall.
“‘Course it’s okay,” Eddie laughed, running his tongue along the paper. You watched intently as his long tongue poked out to trail along the seam of the joint. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“My dad…”
Eddie waved you off before you even finished your sentence. “Hop’s never gonna know. Calm down.” He produced a lighter from his pocket and handed you both with a flourish. “M’lady.”
You took them from him cautiously, as if they might explode in your hand. You looked over the foreign object. You were pretty sure you knew which side to light.
Your inspection was interrupted by Eddie’s chuckling. “You really haven’t done this before, huh?”
Your eyes met his and you blushed, casting your gaze downwards. “No. I’ve never smoked anything.”
“Ooh, a good girl,” Eddie teased, reaching forward to pluck the joint from your fingers. “I’ll get it started for you, baby.”
Your cheeks heated even more at the pet name, but you watched as Eddie placed the joint between his lips (you were correct about which side gets lit, at least) and flicked the lighter, bringing it to his face. The flame caught evenly, burning perfectly as Eddie breathed in a long drag. Once he’d taken two big puffs, he handed it back to you.
You took it from him with shaking hands. You brought it to your lips and breathed in just like you’d watched Eddie do - only to feel like your throat was on fire and start coughing your lungs out.
Eddie laughed hard, reaching to grab you a bottle of water. “It’s okay. Just try again. You don’t have to take a huge hit.”
Once your coughing fit had ended and you’d wiped the tears off your face, gratefully accepting the water bottle and taking a big sip, you worked up the courage to try again. You breathed in slower this time, following the instructions Eddie was giving you. This time you were able to get the smoke into your lungs and hold it there, letting it out in a shaking breath before you started coughing again.
“Atta girl!” Eddie praised, taking the joint back from you and bringing it back to his own mouth. “You’re a natural. Knew you’d like it.”
It didn’t take long before you began to feel it. The music sounded so good you just had to sway along, and everything Eddie said was so funny. Time felt like it moved in slow motion and life looked like you were watching a movie.
“Enjoying yourself?” Eddie asked, making himself nice and comfortable in the back of the van. His long legs were spread out before him, crossed at the ankles while his hands rested intertwined on his stomach.
You nodded, a dopey smile on your face. “Yeah, I’m…having a great time,” you said before falling into a fit of giggles.
Eddie laughed along with you. “Yeah, looks like it.” He looked you over, like he was admiring every part of your body. “I knew I could get you to loosen up.”
His music sounded heavenly in your ears now. You were so warm and cozy, you could have stayed here all night. You spent most of the night there with Eddie, just talking and laughing about any and everything. You realized it had been a long time since you’d laughed so hard and felt so free.
Eddie drove you home, thankfully early enough that you beat your dad there. Your head still felt fuzzy but you weren’t as blasted as you had been.
“Thanks,” you said shyly as you climbed out of the van. “For the ride home and the, uh…weed.”
Eddie gave you that huge grin again. “Any time, sweetheart.”
You spent yet another night with your thoughts full of Eddie. He was actually a cool person. But you knew your dad would never approve of that friendship, or what you had been up to tonight.
Hopper came home with pizzas in hand. You were relieved, since you’d had the munchies for hours and the snacks you and Eddie had devoured in the back of the van had long since worn off. He looked at you suspiciously when you laughed far too hard at his cheesy dad jokes, but didn’t question you.
You and Eddie were fast friends after that. Spending just about every day after school together, getting high, exploring abandoned buildings you weren’t supposed to be at, sitting in on Corroded Coffin band practice and Hellfire Club meetings. You had become near inseparable, something that was strange to his friends when he first brought you around, but now you were like a package deal. Where Eddie went, you were sure to follow, and vice versa.
Eddie continued having his run-ins with the Hawkins police, including your father. It seemed he was just incapable of staying out of trouble. He got bored, and once that boredom hit, he was sure to be off doing something stupid to entertain himself, no matter how you put your foot down or begged him not to.
You could hardly even be surprised when you were home one night and Hopper walked in, looking pissed as hell and grumbling under his breath as he slid off his jacket.
“What’s wrong?” you asked him, brows furrowed. You hadn’t seen him come home this worked up very often.
Hopper turned towards you, eyes softening as he took in his daughter’s face, not wanting to take his frustration out on you. He sighed again. “It’s that Munson kid. Caught him doing a deal and he ran. Had to put a warrant out for him.”
You shouldn’t have been surprised, but your mouth nearly dropped. You reined it in, however, since your dad isn’t even supposed to know you know Eddie at all. “Wow,” is all you can think to offer.
Hopper began heading towards his bedroom to shower and change before dinner. “I have tried and tried to help that boy,” he muttered, seemingly only to himself. “But he just doesn’t want the damn help.”
Eddie was on your mind as usual that night, but this time it was worry. You tossed and turned in bed once you laid down. What kind of trouble had he gotten himself into this time?
Ping. Ping.
The sound of something hitting your window jolted your attention in that direction. Sure enough, the sound came again, accompanied by a pebble smacking against the glass.
You climbed out of bed in your pajamas, feeling nervous as you approached the window. You pushed it open, leaning your head outside.
“Eddie?”
Sure enough, the metalhead stood beneath your window, looking more disheveled than usual. He gave you a big smile. “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair…”
You rolled your eyes. “What the fuck are you doing here?” you hissed, trying to keep your voice as low as possible. Because really, how dumb is he to show up to the police chief’s house when there’s a warrant out for his arrest?
“Needed to see you,” Eddie said simply with a shrug of his shoulders. “C’mon.”
“Where are we going?” you asked, eyebrows raised high.
“Does it matter?” Eddie smiled.
You debated on it. You knew this was a terrible idea. But hell, it was more fun than being in your room alone. You held up a finger telling him to give you a minute before you slipped back into the room and threw on a pair of jeans and an oversized hoodie over the t-shirt you were sleeping in. Socks and sneakers on your feet and then you were climbing out your window for the first time ever, falling to the ground safely with Eddie’s assistance. His hands lingered on your hips once you were on the ground, causing a blush to rise to your cheeks.
Eddie had parked his van around the block. The two of you walked together in mostly silence, not wanting to draw attention to yourselves. Once you were safely in the van it felt like you could breathe again. Eddie cranked his music up, and took off.
“Are we fugitives now?” you teased, nighttime breeze blowing through the open window and whipping your hair around your face.
“Just me,” Eddie laughed. You laughed too, even though nothing about the situation was funny, really.
Eddie pulled the van to a stop on a back road, a spot hidden from prying eyes. “I thought we could sit here and just hang out,” Eddie explained as he saw you taking in your surroundings. “Maybe smoke a little, listen to music, whatever you want.”
That’s how you ended up in the back of the van again, a common hangout for the two of you. A joint shared between you and good music playing through the car’s speakers, you were both feeling amazing. You sat next to him, leaned against his shoulder as you enjoyed each other’s company.
“I always thought you were so pretty, you know.”
The words caught you so off guard you suspected you’d imagined them. But you turn to Eddie and he’s looking right at you, like he’s waiting for you to say something. Like he’s nervous.
“Y-you did?” is all you’re able to respond.
Eddie smiled softly. “Yeah, of course.” His hand comes up to cup your cheek gently. “I still do. You are pretty. The prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”
Your skin felt like it was on fire. You knew you had to be red as a tomato right now, and you hoped the dim lighting in the van was enough to hide it from Eddie’s searching eyes. You knew you needed to say something, but you couldn’t make the words come out of your mouth.
Eddie brushed a piece of hair behind your ear. He was looking at you so intensely now, it made your heart beat out of your chest. He calls your name, and it sounds more beautiful on his tongue than you’ve ever heard it.
“I like you,” he said, looking right into your eyes. “I really like you. You’re the coolest girl I’ve ever met. And you’re hot, funny, smart. The whole package.”
You couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of Eddie’s mouth, and you were pretty sure the weed was making your brain work in slow motion. But he wasn’t laughing at his own joke, or saying he didn’t mean it. He was looking into your eyes, waiting for you to say something, anything, back.
“I…” you began, quickly realizing your throat was extremely dry. Eddie handed you a water bottle with a chuckle, and you took it gratefully. Once the water had soothed your throat (and given you a second to stall), you had enough courage to turn back to him. “I…I like you, too.”
Eddie’s face lit up at your words. “Yeah? You do?”
He was so cute, like an excited puppy. It was so easy to forget that this guy saw the police station as a second home and had a warrant out for his arrest that very moment. You briefly wondered if being here with him put yourself in any legal trouble, but you also didn’t really care. “Yeah. I really do.”
Eddie’s hand remained on your cheek, thumb rubbing softly over your skin. He brought his other hand to your other cheek, and then he was pulling you in. Your heart nearly stopped in your chest as you let him pull you until his lips were on yours.
Kissing Eddie felt more natural than you ever could have thought. It felt like you had always been doing this, his lips so familiar to you it was like you knew exactly what to do to drive him wild. Or maybe that was just the effect you had on him.
Eddie’s hands began to wander as you kissed him back deeply, leaving your face to trail up your thigh and to your hips, rubbing your sides over your hoodie.
He reached for the hem of your hoodie and quickly pulled it over your head. You were left in the thin pajama shirt, no bra underneath. You prayed he couldn’t see your nipples through your shirt, but with the way he was staring, you suspected he could.
“So hot,” Eddie moaned, his large hands reaching out to grasp your breasts over your shirt. Chills spread through your body as his fingers trailed over your hard nipples, and he moaned again. He groped at your tits for a while until he couldn’t take it anymore and pulled your shirt over your head, hands going straight back to your now-bare breasts. He leaned forward and wrapped his mouth around one of your nipples, his fingers still working the other.
The sensation caught you off guard and you gasped, a hand involuntarily shooting up to grab ahold of Eddie’s curls and accidentally pulling, which made him groan against your skin. Moans spilled from your mouth as he ran his tongue over your nipple, circling around it before puckering his lips around it and sucking. You arched your back into his mouth, wanting more, more of this feeling Eddie was providing that was making you feel like you had died and gone to heaven.
Eddie switched sides, wrapping his hot mouth against your other nipple as he attended to the other with his fingers, rubbing and pinching. The wetness left on your now exposed nipple made the cool air even more noticable against the sensitive bud. Your head leaned back against the wall of the van as Eddie worshiped your tits, his jeans growing uncomfortably tight. He palmed himself, desperate for some relief on his aching cock.
He pulled off your nipple with a pop and moved back to your lips, tongue immediately pushing into your mouth and licking everywhere he could reach, kissing you hungrily, filthily. You were both moaning into each other’s mouths, tongues tangled together, trading heavy breaths between you. You could feel your clit throbbing, you couldn’t remember the last time you had been so turned on.
“I’m so hard for you,” Eddie moaned against you, biting down on your bottom lip harshly. You let out a mix between a gasp and a moan, making Eddie chuckle darkly.
“Can I…feel?” you asked, feeling shy.
Eddie groaned at the question, dropping his head into the crook of your neck. “God, baby, you don’t even have to ask.”
Nervous, you reached over towards the bulge in his jeans. It looked intimidating enough from here. The second your palm pressed against it Eddie let out a desperate sounding groan, pushing his hips up against your hand even harder. You could feel that he was absolutely rock hard. It surprised you how hard he was, and you briefly thought he had to be uncomfortable trapped in there. He had too many clothes on, anyway.
You tugged on his shirt, wanting it out of the way. Eddie smirked at you, picking up the hint immediately as he shrugged his leather jacket off his shoulders before pulling his t-shirt over his head. You took in his bare chest in front of you, the pale skin now exposed to you. You rubbed your fingers over his belly and chest, feeling every part of him you could reach. Eddie just let you, head leaning back against the wall as he enjoyed your touch.
“Feels good, baby,” he breathed, eyes closed. He looked so pretty like this, you thought.
You trailed your hands lower, down to the bit of hair leading beneath his jeans. Eddie’s eyes shot open to look at you when your fingertips brushed there. Your hand moved lower, rubbing over his hard on over his jeans again, earning another delicious groan from his lips.
“You seem uncomfortable in here…” you said teasingly as you rubbed him.
He looked up at you, the expression in his eyes nearly pained. “Yeah…I am,” he said, voice quiet and gruff.
“I could help you with that…” you said, giving him a squeeze that dragged an even more delicious sound from him. “If you want me to.”
“Yes, god yes, please,” Eddie begged, sounding as desperate as he felt. “Please touch me, baby.”
You hadn’t realized you would like the sound of him begging, but you absolutely do. Your hands moved to his belt, working open his buckle. Eddie watched you work, big brown eyes focused on your lithe hands undoing his belt before moving to the button and zipper of his jeans.
“Wait-“ Eddie said, causing you to halt your movements immediately and look up at him, concerned. He smiled at you sheepishly. “Can you take yours off first? Wanna enjoy the view.”
You rolled your eyes at the dopey grin on his face, but obliged. You gave him a little show as you wiggled your hips, pushing the denim down your body until you kicked it away. Eddie’s eyes never left you once.
Left in only your panties now, you moved back to Eddie, fingers hooking onto the waistband of his jeans. He lifted his hips off the ground as you pulled them down for him. He was left in nothing but his boxers, your eyes immediately drawn to the very, very large tent in them.
“You look like you need some attention,” you teased.
It took everything in Eddie to resist wrapping his own hand around his cock, pulsing and aching and neglected, but he wanted you to be the one to touch him. “Yeah, uh…could definitely use some,” Eddie said, his cheeks flushing pink. Cute.
You watched him as you leaned forward, licking against the tip of his cock over his boxers.
Eddie shuddered, a shaky groan leaving his lips. “Don’t tease me sweetheart, please,” he begged. You could see his dick twitch beneath the material.
As much fun as you were having, you decided to take mercy on him. Eddie lifted his hips again for you to pull his boxers down, his girth slapping against his abdomen. Your eyes widened at it - long, hard, and needy. Tip red and leaking, cock twitching as he looked at you looking at him.
You wrapped a hand around his base, drawing a hiss from Eddie. You started stroking him slowly, thumb running over his tip and smearing his precum along his length. Eddie groaned, resisting the urge to buck his hips up for more. “God, baby,” he moaned, head thrown back and eyes closed.
“Feel good?” you asked him, eyes darting between your hand moving along his beautiful cock, and his beautiful face, contorted in pleasure.
“Fuck yeah,” he moaned, eyes opening to look into your face. “Faster, sweetheart, please.”
You sped up your movements, jerking him faster. You reached your free hand down to grasp his balls, making Eddie whimper. “Fuck, please, your mouth, babe…”
You didn’t think you could deny anything he asked of you right now. You got yourself comfortable on your knees in front of him before leaning forward and wrapping your lips around his tip. Swirling your tongue around the head, flicking over the slit and tasting him. Eddie’s hand shot up to grab your hair, his thighs trembling beneath your hands. You sunk your head down his length, determined to take as much of him as possible. You gagged about halfway down, already feeling like you were taking so much.
“You can take it, sweetheart,” Eddie said, his voice strained and fist shaking against the back of your head. “You can take all of me. Open that pretty mouth nice and wide for me.”
You moaned around him at his dirty words, and Eddie couldn’t help the way his hips bucked up into your mouth. “Shit! Sorry!” Eddie exclaimed as you came off him quickly, gagging and coughing.
“It’s okay,” you said, wiping the tears from your face once you were breathing normally again. You wrapped your lips around him again and sunk down, opening your jaw as wide as you could. Tears started falling again once you had taken almost all of him, and you nearly gave up, if not for the sinful noises Eddie was making as you took him deeper and deeper. When you finally felt your nose pressed against the brown curls at his base, you felt accomplished. You hummed around him, pleased with your work.
Eddie, however, was hanging on by a thread.
“Shit, shit!” he hissed, fist clenched in your hair and whole body shaking at the feeling of his entire cock buried down your throat. He knew you probably couldn’t breathe, so he only held you there for a few glorious seconds before he let go, resting his hand on your head instead of forcing it.
You began to bob your head up and down, taking as much of him as you could every time. Eddie moaned wantonly above you, fingers brushing through your hair affectionately as you gave him the best head of his life. “God, baby, that’s…fucking incredible, shit…”
You pop off of his cock and move down to lick at his balls, sucking them into your mouth which makes Eddie’s moans go higher. You take his length back in your mouth and suck him messily, saliva dripping down onto his thighs. Neither of you cared. It caught you by surprise when Eddie pulled on your hair, pulling you off of him entirely. You looked at him confused.
“I was about to bust down your throat, babe,” Eddie laughed, completely breathless. “And I wanna fuck that cute little pussy first.”
Eddie pushed you against the floor of the van as he crawled over you, long curls reaching down to tickle your face. You giggled, which Eddie loved, and he dipped his head, shaking it to tickle you with his hair even more.
He dipped his head lower to press kisses to your neck. He started slow, placing kisses across the skin, before he started nipping at your pulse point, biting and sucking the sensitive spot. The feeling drove you crazy, and you arched into him, turning your head to give him full access. Eddie absolutely devoured your skin, moaning as he left dark love bites to remember him by.
His hand slipped beneath the hem of your panties, fingers tracing through your glistening folds. “So wet for me…” Eddie mumbled against your ear, sending chills through your body. He held his hand up to show your wetness covering his long fingers, before sticking them in his mouth and sucking them clean with a groan. “And so sweet.”
Eddie was on his knees between your legs before you even realized what was happening, his fingers hooking in the waistband of your panties as he slowly began to peel them off your body and down your smooth legs.
He placed his hands on your knees and spread your legs apart, eyes drinking in your pussy spread out before him, all for him. “God…” he muttered to himself, and his cock kicked up with anticipation.
“Want you, Eddie,” you begged him, as he was taking far too long just to stare. You couldn’t really blame him, though, as your eyes lingered on his body a little too long, too.
Eddie smirked at you. “Yeah? Want my cock, sweetheart?” he teased, leaning forward to trail his lips along your jaw.
“Please,” you begged him, pushing your hips up against him, his cock sliding against your slick folds. Eddie groaned, his eyes fluttering shut as he rocked his hips against you more.
“You ready for me, baby?” he asked, lifting your legs around his waist and rubbing his cockhead against your throbbing clit, lining himself up at your entrance. “‘Cause I don’t know how much longer I can wait.”
“Please, please,” you begged again, writhing beneath him, so desperate to feel Eddie inside you. You felt your pussy clenching around nothing, your mind running with thoughts of what it will feel like to have all of him.
Eddie needed no further encouragement. He began to push in, groaning as he sunk into you inch by inch. The stretch was intense but also incredible. You could feel every ridge and vein of his cock. You grabbed onto his shoulders, fingers digging into his skin as he stretched you more and more with every thick inch. Your brow was furrowed, eyes closed tight as he finally bottomed out, keeping himself still despite his every instinct to absolutely ruin you.
“You okay, baby?” Eddie asked, eyes intently on your face. You opened your eyes, letting out a shaky exhale. The pain was starting to fade as you got used to his girth.
“I’m okay,” you assured him. “You can move.”
He pulled his hips back, slowly drawing out of you. Despite the pain you had felt, being empty was worse. You wanted nothing more than for him to fill you again. Thankfully, you didn’t have to wait long.
Eddie set a steady pace, thrusting into you slowly yet powerfully. You couldn’t help but moan with every thrust, each push inside of you pressing right up against something that felt absolutely incredible. Your body trembled beneath him as Eddie leaned over you, rolling his hips into yours again and again.
“Shit, you’re so tight, baby,” Eddie muttered against your cheek as he pressed deep inside you, causing you to cry out at the intense pressure against your bundle of nerves. “Taking me so well. You’re so good for me.”
You moaned at his praise, wanting to be a good girl for him. “Faster, Eddie, please,” you whined.
With the permission he’d been waiting for, Eddie sped up his hips, fucking into you harder and faster. The van was rocking, windows fogged up, the obscene sound of your skin slapping together and loud, uninhibited moans filling the space and tuning out the music.
Eddie buried his face in your neck, loud whines coming from his pretty lips. You never imagined he could make the noises he was currently making, and it made your clit throb even harder, your pussy clenching tightly around his length.
“So good baby, perfect little cunt,” Eddie rasped out, sounding like he was utterly lost in the feeling of you. He began to babble, mind lost to the pleasure. “That’s my good girl, taking my fat cock like that. Letting me spread her wide and take what’s mine. Filthy little slut, all for me, fuck, so fucking tight and wet, pussy’s perfect.”
All you could do was hold onto his strong shoulders, desperate for some sort of lifeline as he fucked you stupid. Your eyes nearly rolled back in your head as he began to move even faster, hips snapping into you brutally now as Eddie sets a relentless pace. Desperate moans spilled from your lips uncontrollably. Eddie’s free hand gripped onto your thigh tightly as he rutted into you, his other arm holding all his weight above you.
“So…so good, Eddie, feels so good, you’re so deep, s’big, can’t take it…” you find yourself rambling without a single coherent thought in your brain.
“You can take it, sweetheart, you are taking it, taking me so good,” Eddie encouraged. He bit down on your shoulder, and you cried out, squeezing around him. You felt something building deep inside you, growing rapidly with every move of Eddie’s hips.
“Eddie…’m close…” you whined, and he moaned against your neck.
“Pretty girl, my girl. I want you to come all over my cock,” Eddie begged, hips pistoning into you at a rapid pace. He let go of your thigh and moved his free hand between your bodies instead, pressing down on your swollen clit and rubbing circles against it. “Wanna feel you make a mess all over me.”
The moans leaving your lips were so whiny, desperate sounding and loud, you hardly even recognized them as coming from you. You didn’t even know you were making noises at all. Eddie shoved you right off the edge, and your release hit hard. You tightened your legs around his waist as you arched beneath him, hips bucking up to meet his movements as you moaned his name over and over again. Eddie pressed his lips onto yours hard, swallowing your moans as he licked into your mouth again, his own moans growing in intensity now.
“Fuck…shit, sweetheart, ‘m gonna cum, ‘m almost there, keep squeezing me just like that, Christ,” Eddie babbled as his thrusts turned quicker, frantic and sloppy with no rhythm as he desperately chased his release. He pumped into you roughly a couple more times before he stilled with a cry, painting your walls with his seed deep inside. He pumped his hips slowly through the last of his orgasm, making sure you got every last drop.
Your bodies were wrapped around one another as you came down from your highs, both trembling and trying to catch your breath. Once Eddie had composed himself enough he began placing kisses all over your neck, up to your cheek until he eventually reached your lips, where he placed a sweet, lingering kiss.
Eddie rolled off of you, not bothering to go farther than the floor of the van next to you. He reached for his cigarettes and pulled one out, placing it between his lips and lighting it. The smoke filled the van, and you scrunched up your nose at the smell.
“That was fucking incredible,” Eddie laughed, breaking the silence. You couldn’t help but smile back at him.
“Yeah. It was.”
Eddie draws circles onto the skin of your belly with his free hand as he drags on his cigarette. “Maybe…you should be my girl.”
Your gaze shot to his face, your eyebrows raised. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Eddie smiled, brushing some of your sweaty hair out of your face. “You’re the coolest girl I’ve ever met. I love spending time with you.” A smirk grew across his face. “Perfect pussy, too.”
You smacked him on the arm, making Eddie laugh. “You’re such a perv.”
“I just can’t help myself around you.” Eddie looked at you like you were the best thing he’d ever seen in his life. A revelation. A goddess.
You sighed, noticing the time on the van’s radio. “Shit. I probably need to get back home before dad realizes I’m gone.”
Eddie sighed heavily, too, as he finished his cigarette and stubbed it out. “Yeah. I’ll drive you back.” He didn’t want to see the night end, but he knew you were right. He began to pull his clothes back on as you did the same.
The whole ride home, you thought about Eddie. Not just the incredible night you’d shared, or that he’s your boyfriend now, but thoughts of the warrant creep back into your mind, interrupting the happier thoughts. “What’s going to happen?”
You didn’t have to explain what you were referring to. “I’ll, uh, have to do some time,” he said, like the only thing he was sorry about was that it was hurting you. “I’m sorry, baby.”
You nodded, feeling like tears were going to spill from your eyes at any moment. You had just found this amazing, beautiful thing that made you so happy, and now it was going to be taken away. Locked away.
Eddie reached over and held your hand in his. He gave it a comforting squeeze. “It won’t be long though, promise. You’ll wait for me on the outside, yeah?” he asked, teasing grin on his face.
You mustered up a smile in return. “‘Course I will. I’ll wait as long as it takes for you.”
Eddie smiled at that, bringing your hand to his mouth to place a kiss on the back of your knuckles. “I don’t deserve you.”
He stopped the van a safe distance from your house again. After a goodbye kiss that turned into an accidental makeout session, Eddie walked you back to your window.
“Such a gentleman,” you tease as you prepare to sneak back into your bedroom.
Eddie wrapped his arms around your waist. “Always.” He kissed you again, and just like every time he’s kissed you, you melt right into it. It could have turned into another makeout session if it wasn’t for your dad’s bedroom light turning on, snapping you back to reality.
“Be safe, Eddie,” you told him, kissing him one last time.
“Don’t worry about me, princess,” he said. He lifted you up to help you reach the window easier and you climbed back inside, landing on the floor with a soft thud.
You turned back to the window when you stood. Eddie gave you a wink, smirk on his face, before he turned and disappeared back into the darkness.
That night as you laid in bed you could still feel him all over you. Tingles all over your body everywhere he touched. You would never be the same, you felt.
Eddie Munson was going to be the death of you.
1K notes · View notes
zreamy · 1 year ago
Text
i'll love you forever
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pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader
summary: you were sunghoon's first everything; first friend, first love, and first heartbreak. after years of quietly crushing on you, he was finally ready to confess. so ready to confess, that he told his parents the two of you were already dating! it was an easy enough lie to keep up and he kept it up for months, what could possibly go wrong? he thought. little did he know, you would have a falling out and stop talking for months.. and then, you'd both get invited to spend a week at home with his parents, who still believe you're his girlfriend.
genre: smut, fluff, angst, college au, childhood best friends to lovers, fake dating
warnings: minors dni, fake dating is pretty mild (sorry), she kinda doesn’t rate him at the start, these two kind of exist in a vacuum a little bit idk i had a self-enforced word count to stick to and broke it.. (im within the 10% allowance !), sunghoon in a vest, sunghoon arms, sunghoon
word count: 21,858
playlist: click here.. (for my non-spotify babes, the main song is light by wave to earth (which for some reason i put last.. whatever))
author's note: for silly @asahicore. happy birthday pooks i hope it's amazing and that u enjoy reading this when u have the time !!! LOL (lots of love) also im never writing without telling you things again this was so absurd.
to everyone else.. ok happy reading also emma did not beta read this so im sure it's missing its charm .. anyway it's for emma not you 😭 anyway i hope u enjoy regardless and lmk ur thoughts! omg this is the first fic im nervous about posting.......... please enjoy or else.
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In the three years since Park Sunghoon moved away for university, he’d been doing a pretty good job of going home to see his parents. They’d welcome their baby back to the nest with open arms and wide grins. With a rehearsed level of indifference, his younger sister, Yeji, would say, “Oh, I didn’t know you were coming home this weekend.” when she saw him at the dinner table. Sunghoon pretended to only be marginally hurt by this. 
In the last three months, he hasn’t so much as sent a text to his parents. 
Or to you. 
Ignoring texts from his mother is devastating. Between classes, he watches as, “Hi, sweetie, I love you 😍,” turns into, “Missing you, honey, know you must be busy but spare some time for your old mummy, no?” which turns into, “Getting really worried now, are you doing okay? Has something happened with YN? Talk to me, I love you, my baby boy!” 
Ignoring texts from you is easy because texts from you never come. 
Sitting at the end of his bed, Sunghoon rereads a text his mother sent a few minutes ago: Please talk to me, son. Really worried and YN isn’t answering calls either. What’s going on with you two?
When he leaves his room, he finds Jake lying on the couch, and with his keys in hand, Sunghoon says, “I’m going home.” 
And the drive is great! At least, he tells his mum it is. In truth, the drive home without you was nearly impossible. Your ever-expanding home time playlist buzzed through the speakers in his car, but without you there to screech along to the songs, it wasn’t the same. He felt your absence the most when he stopped to get petrol and you weren’t there behind him struggling to carry enough snacks to feed a small family without offering to pay. 
The look of worry on his mum’s face stirs a pit in his stomach. “Why are you so quiet these days? God, you look so tired,” she says, frowning. “Is it school? Or something with YN? It’s not like her not to text back.” Her brows crease as she whispers the word unless. She pulls him into a hug, her chin resting perfectly on his shoulder, and her comforting hand strokes the hair on the back of his head. “Breakups are never easy, honey. I’m so sorry, I know how much you love her.” 
Breakups are never easy. The sentence hangs heavy over his head. 
Whether she knows it or not, she’s handed him a get-out-of-jail-free card, the opportunity to set things straight, to end this mess once and for all. No further questions, and most importantly, no more lies. 
For the first time since he left your flat three months ago, Sunghoon lets himself cry. He’d imagined this moment countless times, his first cry since you ended things. In his mind, it was always intense. Today, as it happens, only a few salty tears leak from his eyes, spilling onto the cuff of his sleeve, darkening the blue cotton in tiny indigo splotches. 
“We didn’t break up,” he says in a small voice—for some reason. “I’m just having a hard time.” Neither statement is technically untrue, but the words taste rotten in his mouth.
The tightening grip of his mum’s arms around his body is what brings on the harsh, shoulder-racking sobs he’d been anticipating. For a while, they stand like this, Sunghoon weeping into his mum’s cardigan until she sends him upstairs to lie down, promising a cup of tea that never comes. 
His childhood bedroom is chilly, so he changes into clothes he left behind and climbs into bed, pulling his duvet up to his chin. He turns his head to look at the walls and the room around him, everything is exactly where he left it in the summer. It should be comforting, but it’s weird to be home without you. 
There are photos of you and him everywhere, growing up and around each other through different stages of life. The two of you together during the summer your family moved in next door, you wore glasses back then and were the first friend he’d made in his life. Sunbathing and sharing earphones at the beach, listening to music together on your iPod classic. Sunghoon in thick glasses with a stiff smile and your arm around him on the first day of high school. Wide grins at the start of this summer, the last time things were okay between you. 
Overwhelmed, he stares up at the ceiling, only realising he’s crying when a hot tear slips from his eyes to tickle his ear. Because Sunghoon likes to upset himself, he screws his eyes shut and thinks about the night before you stopped talking. 
Though he didn’t know it at the time, you’d left Yeonjun’s place to sit with him in a tiny restaurant on campus, the one you’d only visit to toast to each other’s heartbreaks. It had become a ritual — ever since your first year boyfriend dumped you after two weeks — to cry as much as you wanted and drink as much soju as your bodies could handle before stumbling back to your apartments. 
Having spent years suffering from an unrequited crush on his best friend, Sunghoon was always the one to comfort you. But that night was different; you were there to comfort him. It was easy enough to play the part of ‘boy whose crush likes someone else’ because he spent your entire friendship in that role. He’d had no problem accepting his fate, but his composure started to slip when you met Yeonjun. It was the first time you’d dated someone who Sunghoon had reason to be jealous of. In every way, Yeonjun was better than him—taller, funnier, hotter. Sunghoon knew he didn’t stand a chance. He took it personally, you liking Yeonjun instead of him, and let his jealousy consume him from the inside out. 
This jealousy led him to start telling you about Minjeong—lying to you about Minjeong, and his feelings for her. She was a girl from a college out of town that he saw on his Instagram Explore page. He followed her by accident, and by some stroke of luck, she followed back. Sunghoon didn’t really have feelings for her — he didn’t even know her — but she was a girl that you didn’t know, so you wouldn’t be able to meddle. 
It only took a few weeks for Sunghoon to become so upset about your relationship that he couldn’t hide his emotions anymore. So, in a fit of tears, he told you over the phone that things ended badly with Minjeong, and he was in urgent need of a soju ceremony. 
But the night was missing its usual comforts.
It was strange to be the one crying, to see you looking put together and ordering the food. To see you pouring the drinks and raising your glass to propose a toast to ‘Hoonie’s first heartbreak’. You were driving that night, so you only had a tiny sip of soju and let him drink as much as he needed, the way he always did for you, at the same table, in the same restaurant for years. 
Hours later, in your car, you entertained his drunken rambles, though he remembers how your lips were set into a frown that he wanted to kiss away while you gripped the steering wheel like you thought it would run from you. Sunghoon was more drunk than he’d been in a while, drunk enough to let you sling his arm over your shoulders and keep him upright until you reached his flat. 
The voices coming from Yeji’s room disrupt the memory. He’s thankful.
“Your brother’s going through something, so be nice to him this weekend.” His mother’s voice is her version of hushed—a loud whisper. 
Yeji’s response is harder to make out, but he doesn’t miss the way their mum says, “I mean it, missy.” 
A dramatic sigh rumbles through Yeji as she barges into his room without knocking. Sunghoon sits up, feeling an ache in his back and crossing his legs. 
“Mum told me to lay off you today, which is fine, but before I do, I need to tell you something.” 
Yeji pushes the door shut behind her, and the open window makes it slam, both of them flinching from the sudden noise. She pulls her hair out of a silk scrunchie and throws herself on the floor. A pang of irritation forms in his chest, knowing that he could immediately find the empty hanger in his wardrobe where the shirt she’s wearing used to live. 
“I hate you and your perfect golden boy image, Hoon. Would it kill you to fail a class for once? I don’t know how I’m supposed to carry on your legacy.” She’s looking up at him, her chin in her hands and irritation written in the crease between her thick brows. 
It’s impossible to know if it’s because of Yeji’s complete lack of boundaries or the fact that her ‘perfect, golden boy’ big brother is on track to fail three out of three classes and get cut from the hockey team, but Sunghoon immediately bursts into tears. 
“Oh, uh.. I’m sorry?” Yeji offers. “I was kidding if that helps.” 
“I’m alright, it’s okay.” The tears don’t stop stinging his eyes. “Why do you want me to change everything about myself?” 
With a frown, Yeji pours out her frustration and mild resentment. She doesn’t understand how Sunghoon effortlessly conquers every aspect of life while she struggles. Neither do their parents, who had been baffled by her plummeting grades since she moved to boarding school, especially when Sunghoon’s academic performance has only soared since he left for university. The weight of this perceived injustice pulls Sunghoon’s shoulders down with guilt as she talks about the expectations he has inadvertently set for her. 
“But other than that, I’m good.” She shrugs, sitting with her legs out, and leaning back on her palms. “How’s YN?” she asks. It’s clear from the brightness in her voice that she thinks she’s helping. 
Sunghoon cries again. 
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Back on campus, he’s trying to scrape together what’s left of his academic career with the help of two of the smartest guys he knows, and their friend Jay. Though the word ‘friend’ feels a little strong at the moment given the way Jay’s goading him. 
Sunghoon rolls his eyes, sitting back in his seat. “There’s nothing you can do that I can’t,” he says, meaning every word. 
Jay scoffs, shrugging and raising his brow in a way that, over the years, Sunghoon knows to interpret as his ‘about to say something ridiculous’ look. “Pretty sure I could call YN right now, and she’d answer.” 
There’s a pit in Sunghoon’s stomach as Heeseung turns his head in the other direction like he’s been slapped, trembling with stifled laughter. At least Jake doesn’t hide his amusement, throwing his head back in a fit of giggles that draw nasty looks from the other students in the library. Sunghoon doesn’t waste his energy trying to argue because Jay’s right.
Now composed, Heeseung turns back to the table, flipping through some of Sunghoon’s course materials to find whatever his class was doing in class that week. The English Literature class he’s taking — The Modernist Movement: Joyce, Woolf, and Hemingway — is the same class he had to send a million emails over the summer to get enrolled in, but it’s the same one Heeseung aced two years ago. Lucky for him none of the boys seem to be in the mood to make fun of him for trying so hard to have a class in common with you, and then practically failing out of it before the term had started properly.
“This class is, like, beyond easy, dude.” Heeseung pauses to sniffle and twist the stud in his ear. “Everyone in my class aced it. How are you doing so badly already?” 
“I only took it because YN thought it’d be fun if we had a class together, but.. I kind of haven’t been going since we stopped talking.” Sunghoon shrugs, pretending to be unaffected. 
As if the mere mention of your name has some sort of summoning power, like saying Biggie Smalls in the mirror three times, you appear in his eye line, rounding the corner with a furious stride. Your demeanour crumbles when Jay waves at you, and you grin, waving back, but as soon as you look Sunghoon in the eye again, the rage comes back, and you smack a hand on the table when you reach it, leaning over to him. 
“Sunghoon, a word?” you ask.
He thinks you’re asking, but it’s hard to tell with the way you set your jaw afterwards, and the way the warmth of your signature vanilla scent hits him hard. Dazed, Sunghoon lifts a hand, pointing at himself. “Me?” 
“Does anyone else at the table answer to Sunghoon?” 
“Okay,” he says, somewhat pathetically, nudging Jay for laughing at him. 
As slowly as possible, Sunghoon pushes his chair from the table and stands up, following you to the corner of the references section where only anthropology students in scratchy thrift store knits, and Jay, come to check out encyclopaedias by volume. You look good, save for the rage written all over your face—which, honestly, Sunghoon thinks he likes.
Sunghoon isn’t sure what to expect, so he says, “Hey.” He’s being cautious, waiting a moment to gauge your reaction. “What’s gooooood?” His cheeks burn as soon as he closes his mouth around the vowel, but you laugh. You laugh, and it’s beautiful and happy, and you’re laughing because of him—or at him, but he’s glad either way. 
Annoyance quickly clears all traces of amusement on your face. “Were you ever going to tell me we’re spending next week at Mum and Dad’s?” you ask. 
Sunghoon gasps dramatically, clicking his fingers. “I knew there was something I’ve been meaning to do.” 
His attempt at lightening the mood falls flat, and you only nudge his shoulder gently, sighing. “Can you be serious? For once in your life, even for a second, can you please think about how the things you say affect me?” You’re frowning, crossing your arms over your chest and looking at your feet. “It’s not fair, Sunghoon. For you to keep saying things—making plans involving me and then acting like I’m the bad guy when I turn you down.” 
“I don’t think you’re the bad guy at all,” Sunghoon admits. “If anyone is in the wrong, it’s me, I guess.”
You scoff, looking at him like you hate him. “You guess? Are you serious?” You look furious, but you sound hurt and Sunghoon hates it. Hates himself. “I can’t have this conversation with you right now. Tell mum I’m sick, and it’s contagious.” You roll your eyes and walk away, leaving Sunghoon alone with his thoughts and judgemental stares from students in crochet scarves so long they graze the floor. 
He sighs, slumping against the wall. How does he keep getting it wrong with you? 
Back at the table, Sunghoon manages to act like he’s not falling apart and makes some serious headway on his missing assignments with Heeseung’s help before they call it a day as the sun starts to set. 
When he gets home, he lies down on his bedroom floor, spending hours poring over the conversation you had. Over the minute changes in your facial expression, the tone of your voice, and the endless list of things he should have done, rather than watch you walk away. 
The moment feels familiar, both identical to and worlds apart from what happened after you left three months ago. When he managed to scrape the last shreds of his dignity from the kitchen table, he dragged his feet to his room and lay down like he is now, face to the rug. That day, he left his door open and lay so still that Jake thought he was dead. Sunghoon remembers wishing he had been. 
For once in your life, even for a second, can you please think about how the things you say affect me? The words run on a loop in his mind, over and over, until he can’t remember the order of the sentence or where you put emphasis. They’re cutting all the same. 
Sunghoon sighs into the itchy fibres of his black rug before rolling onto his back. In the diminishing purple light of the setting sun. he looks at the walls of his room. At the Fleetwood Mac poster, he stole from Jay when they moved out of their first year dorm, that curls away from the wall towards the ceiling—a diagonal strip of shiny tape being the only indication of the otherwise invisible tear through the face of Stevie Nicks. 
He’s glad when his phone rings, cutting through the quiet, though the sight of your name and the anatomical heart emoji next to it only dampens his spirit. Reluctantly, Sunghoon answers the phone, holding it to his ear. 
“I just got off the phone with Dad..” You trail off. Tangible silence follows, so thick it weighs on his chest. “I’ll go home with you.” 
“You will?” 
“Yes. Goodbye.” 
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Sunghoon reaches your flat at five in the evening. You don’t smile when you open the door for him, nor do you invite him in. Instead, you dump your bag at your feet and he cringes, looking from the floor to you. You’re aggressively beautiful and cosy-looking as you pull a jacket over the sweater you wore that night. Sunghoon’s heart aches in his chest and he wonders if you even realise. Suddenly, the memory of the last thing you said the morning after hits him like a truck: Then let’s not be friends at all. 
A familiar weight lands on his shoulder—your hand. Concern lines your eyes as you ask if he’s okay. 
With a lump in his throat, Sunghoon nods. 
In the discomfort of his car, the two of you sit in silence while he starts the drive home. 
“How’s Yeonjun,” he asks, eyes flicking towards you but regretting it immediately when he sees how you clench your jaw. 
“No,” you say simply, shaking your head. “You don’t get to ask me about him.” 
These are the only words you exchange until Sunghoon stops for petrol. He has enough fuel for the rest of the journey, but he feels like dying and thinks the fresh air might quell his thoughts of running his car off the road. Like always, the two of you get out and head into the kiosk, where he follows you wordlessly through the aisles, watching you debate on snack choices before settling on the same things you always get. Sunghoon pays for your snacks and you roll your eyes but don’t protest, mumbling thanks as you take them into your arms, leading the way back outside.
He knows he needs to tell you before you reach the house, but he’s not entirely sure how to say it—so he just does. “My, uh.. my parents think we’re dating.”
You stop so suddenly in front of him that he almost bumps into you. Stepping around you, Sunghoon keeps walking. 
Over the top of his car, he watches your face cycle through all five stages of grief until anger comes back around in the loop as you scoff. “Why do they think that?” Your face is devoid of expression now, the blankness over your features dragging a sharp chill over his spine. 
He stares blankly at you, processing. “Because I told them we’re dating,” he mumbles. 
“Why did you.. do that?” You tilt your head, eyes pressing shut in a long blink. “What are you even talking about? Why did you.. What?” 
A thin layer of sweat coats his palms despite the cold. Why did he do that? “We can stage a breakup during the trip or say we broke up right now,” Sunghoon offers. “Just one night, YN, please.” 
The wind whistles by, ruffling your hair and jacket that you hug tightly to your chest. Behind you, Sunghoon takes note of the group of girls standing by the pumps, all five of them jerking their heads abruptly when they notice him watching, suddenly finding interest in the scattered litter and flickering halogen bulbs in the steel canopy over their heads. 
You’re staring when he looks back at you, nostrils twitching with a sniffle before you sigh. “Or we could say that you’re a liar and end things there,” you say. “Or better yet, you go down there on your own and tell them the truth.”
Sunghoon’s gaze drops, his thoughts racing in his mind. He knows you’re right. At some point, his parents will have to find out, and it’d be better for them to find out now. Sunghoon sighs, nodding. “Alright,” he concedes. “I’ll take you back.”
An angry laugh comes out of you as you shake your head. “No need, I’ll walk.” 
The station you’re at is neatly nestled in the middle of nowhere, on a road so narrow he’s not even sure it has a pavement. You’re halfway through the three-hour drive, so there’s no telling how long the walk would be, never mind the fact that the sun is already setting and it’s deep enough into October for the wind to sting. 
“From here?” he asks, incredulous. 
“Yes, open the boot so I can get my bag.” 
Sunghoon can only bring himself to say your name, a desperate whisper. 
“Open the boot.”
He repeats your name as if it’ll make a difference, he’s pleading with you, begging—though he doesn’t know for what. 
You go to the back of his car where Sunghoon joins you, a pit in his stomach when you step away. With misty eyes, you look up at him and his heart breaks. “Please.”
Sunghoon knows you well enough to know that you’re not actually going to attempt the walk home but also knows that you won’t back down if he keeps challenging you. He nods, opening the boot for you and getting into the driver’s seat—your move. 
You stand there, unmoving, and long enough passes that he thinks you’ll actually leave. The boot closes softly and you join him in the passenger seat. You sigh, buckling your seatbelt. “Let’s just get this over with.” 
For the rest of the journey, you sit in silence as Sunghoon briefs you on the relationship, fighting a smile as he thinks about being your boyfriend—even if only for a night. You scoff when he ‘reminds’ you that you’ve been together for four months now and the only reason you haven’t been able to come home recently is that your schedules don’t match up very well anymore—which couldn’t be further from the truth as, before term started, you went out to celebrate the fact that your class schedules couldn’t be more suited for seeing each other. 
Finally, at Sunghoon’s childhood home, the two of you smile and laugh for his parents before going to bed. Your relationship has only made his mother more averse to the idea of you sharing a room under her roof than she had been when you were younger. He’s relieved about this, and in the solitude of his bedroom, he lies on the duvet of his twin bed, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about the last few hours. 
With his parents, you’d sat up in the living room watching TV. They sat on the couch together, his mum nestled in his dad’s side, while you two sat on the couch opposite, mirroring their position. If your complete stiffness was anything to go by, you were less than comfortable with his arm around you and Sunghoon felt terrible for begging you to go along with this. It was after midnight when you all went upstairs and you let him kiss your forehead before all but slamming the door to the guest room in his face. His heart twirled and his mum beamed at him before saying goodnight again. 
Now, at 3 a.m. he can’t sleep. Flinching at the knock on his door, he furrows his brows and goes to open it. It’s you. Standing there with your hair scraped away from your face in one of his t-shirts. Your eyes are red, brimmed with tears as you step into his room and sit on his bed. 
He closes the door softly, heart aching at the sight of you so upset, and when he sits next to you, his heart tears apart because you move over, putting a distance between you. It falls out of his chest onto the floor when he realises you’re not wearing your necklace. 
Sunghoon suspected you might have stopped wearing it, it only made sense that if you didn’t want him, you wouldn’t want the necklace he bought for you either, but at least earlier, your sweatshirt sat so high he couldn’t see if you had it on or not. 
It was a gift for your sixteenth birthday, after your first heartbreak. He was so upset and angry that you let some loser hurt you that way, upset and angry that someone could be loved by you and fuck it up. Sunghoon was inspired by Jay, who’d gotten a pretty necklace for his girlfriend, and talked about her cute reaction for weeks, how happy she was to have a piece of him with her all the time. It was a locket, with a picture of Jay in one side and a picture of her in the other so the pictures would kiss when she wore it. 
While at the jewellers with Jake, Sunghoon thought something like that might be a bit much for the two of you and eventually picked out an equally pretty piece with his first initial on it. He wrote a corny note to put in the box, something about how ‘boys come and go but Sunghoon is forever’ and gave it to you with trembling hands a few nights later—it was the first time he ever made you cry. Immediately, he thought he’d done something wrong and was ready to snatch the box and run back to the jewellers (even though he trashed the receipt). You hugged him and told him you loved him. Sunghoon’s been riding that high ever since. 
Until tonight at least. 
“Are you okay?” he whispers. 
“I’ll do it, Hoon.” Your eyes lift from the floor to meet his gaze. “For as long as you need me to, I’ll pretend.”
As soon as the words leave your mouth, Sunghoon feels lighter, an unbearable weight slipping from his shoulders. You haven’t called him ‘Hoon��� in ages, and he can’t tell if you’ve said it out of vulnerability, or even noticed that you’ve said it at all, but it warms his heart nonetheless. However, he’s not fully at ease, still curious about your sudden change of heart and why you’re crying. 
“What happened?”
You pull him into a hug, and his eyes bulge out of his head. “It doesn’t matter,” you say, the words muffled by the skin at the base of his neck. 
For as long as he’s known you, you’ve smelled like vanilla, a sweet warmth that grounds him. Yet it’s only after these months apart that he’s able to put a name to the sensation: home. The realisation of how much he’s missed this feeling, missed you, floods him with a rush of emotion so overwhelming he can’t find the words to press the issue. A moment passes before he remembers to hug you back, his arms finally wrapping around you, pulling you close, and you sink into his hold. Months ago, he would have kissed the top of your head and mumbled reassurance into your hair, but tonight, Sunghoon settles for stroking the back of your head and hopes it’s enough. 
“You can talk to me, you know? You can always talk to me.”
A heavy silence follows, sharp as a dagger—scraping his skin, making the hair on the back of his neck stand on edge and lodging itself between his shoulder blades. Sunghoon’s breath hitches in his throat when you cling onto him even tighter, shifting so close you’ve had to settle in his lap. His heart races in his chest, pounding a rhythm so loud it fills the room. 
Finally, you speak, assuring him that you know and that you’re okay. At this, Sunghoon holds you as tight as he can, and neither of you speaks for the rest of the night. You fall asleep like this, in his arms, so deeply that you don’t even stir when he lies down. 
Rubbing your back, he watches the clock on his nightstand, the piercing green LED digits cycling through two whole hours right before his stinging eyes until you wake up. Sunghoon presses his eyes shut, pretending to be asleep when you kiss his cheek and leave his room. 
For the entire morning, you stay in your room, and although Sunghoon is concerned, he decides not to bother you. In the afternoon, he sits at the dining table with his mum, listening as she talks about work. When she asks him, he gets up to make a cup of tea for her. It’s at that moment when you finally come downstairs, looking so effortlessly pretty. Your hair is still damp from the shower, and you’re bundled up in one of his old sweatshirts. There’s a bright grin on your face that leaves his heart thudding. 
“Baby!” you squeal when you see him, charging towards him and wrapping your arms around him from behind. “Good morning.” Your words are muffled against the back of his t-shirt, and the four-letter word, and the sugar coating it, make his cheeks burn. 
“It’s great to see you too, YN,” his mum says with a smile. “My night was amazing; I slept very well and had no dreams.” 
You let go of Sunghoon and walk over to the table, kissing his mum on the cheek and wishing her a good morning as well. “Sorry, mum, how are you?” 
His mother doesn’t seem to have the heart to correct you either, allowing your 3 p.m. ‘good morning’ to go unnoticed. 
Sunghoon carefully fills both mugs to the brim and, with extra caution, carries them to the table. He places a steaming cup of peppermint tea in front of his mum and a milky coffee in front of you. A warm smile spreads across your face as you mouth a ‘thank you’, and his knees turn to jelly. 
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The next day, after eating an early dinner with his parents at the table, the four of you go out on a walk along the bike path you used to take for school. His parents have gone ahead, not intentionally, but because Sunghoon can’t stop you from dragging your feet. 
As with most things in the town where you grew up, nothing about the trail has changed. The leaves are yellowing in standard form for the season, and crunching under his feet with each step he takes. The only foreign experience is the silence that you’re determined to uphold. Everything Sunghoon says to you is met with either a hum, a nod, or no acknowledgement at all. At this point, he feels like he could drop dead at your side and the most you’d do is step over his body like a fallen branch. 
After letting you go ahead, the weathered slats of the wooden footbridge sag in the middle under his tread. It’s been like this for as long as he can remember and he wonders how nothing has been done about it. The stream rushes under it, loud and unruly, the smell of wet grass both comforting and suffocating as you look over the railing. It’s like something from a postcard, the low-hanging branches sweeping back and forth under the breeze, the grass lush and green around the path, murky water thrashing against the mud and rocks underneath with you in the middle of the frame, peering over the edge.
You keep walking when Sunghoon approaches, leaving him alone on the creaky bridge with nothing but the ache in his chest. He looks up, staring at the grey clouds in the sky through the gaps in the leaves, and sighs. 
Eventually, he catches up with you, grabbing your hand and locking his fingers with yours when his parents slow down. You stiffen, looking up at him with cut eyes and a creased brow. “What are you doing?”
Sunghoon matches your clipped tone. “Holding my girlfriend’s hand.” 
“No one’s looking, boyfriend.”
“You think my parents aren’t going to wonder why we’re lagging behind?” 
A scoff—your fingers remain defiantly stiff. “Do you think your parents are going to care whether or not we’re holding hands?” 
“My mum might after the show you put on yesterday afternoon, baby.” Bitterness covers the word like a blanket, a stark departure from how you said it. 
A long sigh rumbles its way out of you before you fix your lips into a strained grin. “Sorry, sweetheart, this is my first time pretending to be in love.” 
As your words hang in the air, Sunghoon’s emotions brew like a storm within him. Frustration gnaws at his patience. All hopes for a smooth week are dashed, though determination simmers in his chest with a strong resolve to make this work, to fix your relationship. It doesn’t stop the sharp pang of hurt piercing his stomach—he knows you don’t feel the same way, he knows you’re faking, but the word ‘pretending’ hits him like a truck anyway. 
“We held hands all the time when we were friends,” he points out.
Your smile drops immediately, hurt flashing behind your eyes. “Yeah, and now we’re not.” 
If there was a competition for who could hurt Sunghoon’s feelings the most, you’d be a shoo-in for first place. With distinction. 
“Exactly!” he says, feeling the sting of his own words. “Because now we’re dating.”
At the sight of his mum turning around, you switch up in an instant. Lock your fingers with his, wrapping an arm around his bicep, leaning into him, giggling. It’s forced but his parents are far enough away that all that matters is the curve of your lips.
“You two okay back there?” she asks. 
“Perfect! I feel like a kid again!” you call back, beaming up at Sunghoon in a way that makes his stomach flutter even though it doesn’t meet your eyes. 
The two of you don’t talk at all when you get home, with you hugging his parents goodnight and running up the stairs. 
“She’s not feeling too well,” he explains, nodding when his dad tells him to make you some tea. 
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His parents spend the whole day at work, and you spend the whole day following him around like a shadow until the evening when they return. He doesn’t pretend not to like it.
Sunghoon helps you make dinner, turning leftover rice into fried rice with the help of some eggs and vegetables. It’s nice moving around the kitchen with you, watching you scramble eggs in his t-shirt and bump his hip with a playful frown when he eats some of the peppers you’re chopping. 
His parents watch from the table, cooing over the two of you and he does his best to fight the blush forming on his cheeks and neck. Embarrassed, he hugs you from behind, hiding his face in your neck—the scent of your coconut conditioner mixing with your vanilla perfume doesn’t do anything to stop the flush. 
Over a bottle of wine, the four of you eat together at the table, swapping stories about your days. Sunghoon tries to hide his surprise as you lie about the time you spent at the play park by your primary school, competing for height on the swings and spinning on the roundabout until you couldn’t stand up. You grin at him, and it meets your eyes as you hold his hand under the table, and kiss his cheek.
After eating, his parents head upstairs, leaving to clean up together. You hum a song he’s never heard as you load the dishwasher, carefully placing the plates and cutlery in the rack, shaking your head when he hands you the glasses you’d used. 
“Leave ours,” you say. “If you want.” 
Sunghoon nods, putting them back on the table, where you sit in the seat across from the one he was sitting in. He sits too, staying quiet rather than saying the wrong thing. You don’t speak either. It’s reminiscent of the past—the hours you’d spend in the same room, only speaking to share a funny post you’d come across or to ask if you were hungry. 
His eyes track your movements—reaching for the half-empty bottle on the table to pour yourself another glass, filling it to the brim. Before putting it down, you offer him some, filling his glass too when he nods. The three glasses of wine he’s already had must be the reason he wants to reach across the table and hold your hand, run his thumb over the soft skin on the back of it. 
Sunghoon doesn’t know why you’ve been so nice to him all day or why it makes his chest hurt. 
“You know you don’t have to be nice to me when we’re alone, right?” The words come out before he can stop them.
Over the top of your glass, your brows knit together. A sound of confusion, a low hum, comes from your throat as you try to finish your sip. “What?” you ask finally. 
“I only asked you to do this because of my parents, you know? You don’t have to sit or talk with me when they’re not around.” 
Sunghoon’s known you long enough to recognise the look that flashes across your face. The way your eyes narrow and your brows tug together, the little pout that sets on your lips before you speak; you’re hurt.
“Why can’t I just be nice to you because it’s the right thing to do?” 
Because it hurts, is what he wants to say. He wants to cry, to beg you to forget everything he said that day. “Because I don’t want to make you any more uncomfortable than I already have.” Is what he settles for. 
Your face softens. “I don’t feel uncomfortable around you, Hoon. We were best friends for ages, I don’t think you could ever make me uncomfortable.” You pause to take a gulp of wine. “Why can’t I just want to be nice to you?” 
Sunghoon has to chew on his cheek to distract himself from how much your word choice stings. The implications of were and all of your past tense. “I’m sorry,” he says. 
“What for?” 
“Everything.” 
There’s a sadness in the way you run your fingers on the base of your glass. The way you chew on your lip, how your hair falls when you tilt your head and how it moves when you shake it. “It’s not your fault,” you say. “I don’t know anyone who would choose to have unrequited feelings for their best friend.” 
Wow, he thinks. You’re on a roll. Sunghoon wonders if you’re meticulously choosing your phrasing to upset him. Wonders why you feel the need to remind him that his feelings aren’t reciprocated as if he didn’t live through and spend hours reliving the day he confessed. 
“But I didn’t have to tell you about it. It was unfair of me to spring that on you when I knew about Yeonjun.” 
“Did you.. did you think I was going to leave him for you?” 
“Maybe?” Sunghoon chews on his lip—he has no idea what he thought would happen. “I think I thought I loved you enough for both of us, that you might play the part for fun or out of curiosity, and.. I don’t know, just learn to love me.”
“Hoon,” you whisper, frowning. “How could you even think about settling for something like that?” 
Sunghoon shrugs. “It’s not settling if it’s you.” 
Silence takes a seat at the table after he speaks, interrupted only by the ticking clock on the wall—a glittery mess of scrapbooking paper and washi tape layered over each other that Yeji had decorated at summer camp years ago. You’re picking at your fingernails, letting flecks of black polish fall to the table, stark against the varnished oak. 
“I know it’s not my place to ask,” Sunghoon starts after a while, hesitant and only continuing when you nod. “But what did Yeonjun say when you told him? About.. everything?” 
You take a long sip from your glass and sit quietly for so long that he thinks you’re not going to answer him—he doesn’t blame you. 
“I didn’t.” 
He waits for you to elaborate. You don’t. 
Sunghoon nods slowly, deciding not to ask any follow-up questions. Instead, he takes another drink, scrunching his nose at the bitter taste. “He didn’t ask why we stopped hanging out?” he blurts out.
“I told him we fell out but I didn’t say why.” You shrug, but your posture is stiff. 
“Where did you tell him you were going to be this week?” He knows it’s not his business at all, that he’s pushing your boundaries, but he can’t help his curiosity.
“Nowhere.” 
“You told him you were staying on campus?” 
“I didn’t tell him anything.” Your gaze shifts, avoiding his as you toy with the stem of your glass. You drum your nails against it, letting the dull clink ring out. 
“So you just left?” 
“Does it make a difference to you?” 
Sunghoon nods.
For a while, you tug at the drawstrings on your hoodie, pursing your lips to the side, considering this. “Yeonjun and I aren’t together anymore.” Your admission is so shocking that Sunghoon’s jaw drops. He tries to cover his surprise by coughing, his tongue sticking out like a small child. “I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want you to think it was because of you.” 
Sunghoon’s thoughts move at lightspeed, too fast for him to catch onto any of them and process this information. His emotions compete with each other—disbelief, guilt, and a painful glimmer of hope he hadn’t dared to acknowledge until now all at the forefront. 
“Was it?” he asks. “Because of me?” 
You scoff—an incredulous sound that doesn’t match the sad look on your face. “I don’t know, Sunghoon. Do you think my boyfriend used me to make his ex jealous because of you?”
He’s not sure what he expected you to say, but this is.. Complete disbelief eclipses him as his heart sinks in his chest, shock, and guilt bubbling in his stomach. 
“I’m sorry,” he says after too long. “That I wasn’t there. That I haven’t been there.” 
“You didn’t know,” you say, gaze softening as you look up at him. 
“But I made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about it.” 
You shake your head. “I made me feel like I couldn’t talk to you about it. All you did was change the friendship, I’m the one who ended it.”
“I still should’ve been there.” 
“You’re here now, right?” 
Sunghoon nods, earnestly. “Always.” 
Only one thing comes to mind when you repeat the word ‘always’ before taking a sip from your glass, downing its contents. Sunghoon gets up and crosses the room with wobbly steps to open the fridge, where he pulls out as many bottles of soju as he can hold in his hands and puts them down on the table. He goes back to collect some glasses from the cabinet, puts some of the leftover fried rice from dinner into the microwave, and brings it all over when it’s done, with bowls and utensils. You watch him with a fond smile as he opens a bottle and he hopes you think the flush on his cheeks is from all the drinking you’ve been doing. 
“Is it bad that I’ve missed doing this?” You’re grinning now.
Sunghoon shakes his head, raising his glass. “To YN’s fifteenth heartbreak.” 
You grin, clinking the rim of your glass against his. “To YN’s fifteenth heartbreak,” you repeat. 
Both of you down the glasses, and Sunghoon refills them, pouring the soju with an oddly steady hand. As you eat spoonfuls of rice and sip your drinks, silence settles over the room. The soft glow of the kitchen lights forms a warm ambience, a cosy familiarity that brings up simple memories—doing homework together at the table while gossiping about your classmates, the first New Year after you were both eighteen and had your first drink with his parents. 
For at least an hour, the only sounds are the occasional clinks of forks against bowls, glasses hitting the table, the faint hum of the refrigerator and the steady tick of Yeji’s clock. Sunghoon’s eyes meet yours, and he can’t help but notice the slight change in your expression when they do. 
You clear your throat, running a hand through your hair. “This is my sixteenth, actually.” 
“What?” 
You take a small sip of soju, staring down at the table. “My fifteenth heartbreak was losing you. Yeonjun is my sixteenth.”
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In the two days since your soju ceremony, Sunghoon finds himself sinking into the role of your boyfriend like a hot bath. But there’s no use pretending it doesn’t hurt. Pretending it doesn’t hurt when you kiss his cheek before bed, or when you reach out to push the hair out of his face or snuggle into his side on the couch; because it does hurt—a lot. It hurts to think that in three days when you put your bags in the boot of his car, you’ll sit in silence all the way home. When he drops you off at your flat, you’ll close the door in his face and stop talking to him again. These realisations are harder to confront when he’s alone in his room, like now. 
About an hour ago, you asked if you could borrow his car, saying there was something you needed to do on your own. It seemed important, so he handed over his keys with no question. Sighing, Sunghoon gets up from his bed and heads to the shower, where he jerks off to clear his mind. On his way back to his room, he notices the light leaking from the open kitchen door that illuminates the landing. 
He hears the lock on the front door clicking, and stands at the top of the stairs, dripping water onto the carpet while listening attentively. His ears perk up when he hears a gasp—his mother. 
“What’s this for?” she asks. 
“I just..” You trail off. “I know it’s not much, but I wanted to thank you both for always looking after me.” You pause, and Sunghoon holds his breath, waiting. Your voice trembles as you continue. “It’s been hard since my parents went back home, and I guess it was still hard when they were here, but you both supported me. I don’t think I could’ve managed without you guys. I want to make you guys proud, you know? And I’m trying, really, so this is me saying thank you. I’m sorry it took me so long.” 
He grips the railing by the landing, digging his nails into the wood until they start hurting—an ache in his fingertips that makes him wince. 
An odd feeling settles in his stomach, a bittersweetness tinged in his fondness for you, and the gentle shock of realising how much his parents have done for you. Growing up, you became an honorary member of Sunghoon’s family. His parents showered you with gifts during holidays and birthdays, which you often celebrated with them rather than your own family. 
The memory of your parents’ sudden decision to move across the country still lingers, and Sunghoon vividly recalls the tearful conversation he overheard at the top of the stairs. Your parents understood the enormity of their request but had earnestly asked if Sunghoon’s parents could continue looking after you. 
His chest tightens when you start crying. 
“You don’t have to thank us for anything, sweetie. Just you being here and taking care of our boy is more than enough thanks. You never forget our birthdays, and you always come and visit when you can. You’re doing a great job, and you should give yourself some credit,” his dad says, a little choked up. “We’ve always been proud of you.” 
Sunghoon’s eyes sting with tears and his skin gets dry in the spots where the water from the shower is evaporating. He presses his fingers to his closed eyes, forcing a few tears to fall and walks the rest of the way to his room with his eyes shut. He can’t hear anything through his closed bedroom door, which he decides is a good thing as he coats himself in moisturiser and swipes deodorant under his arms with intention to spend the whole night alone. Once he’s dressed, he gets into bed and pretends not to be bothered by the way his wet hair dampens his pillow. Under the duvet, he tosses and turns before sighing and heading to Yeji’s room.
In her absence, the room’s subtle transformation is stark. The sage green-painted walls, once a backdrop to the A3 faces of Wave to Earth and Beabadoobee, now bear the faint imprints of those missing posters. Tiny, shadowy rectangles are the only remnants of the 6x4-sized pictures of her and her friends, of her and Sunghoon, that she took away with her to school.
Her hairdryer is still on her desk where she’d left it for him to use and he sits in her stiff wooden chair, plugging it in. The airflow starts immediately, hot and loud, humming throughout the space as he runs his fingers through his wet hair, feeling cosy under the heat. His shampoo is fresh and soapy scented under his nose, and his reflection watches him in Yeji’s mirror, eyes red and concerned while his hair blows around his head. Sunghoon closes his eyes and finishes his hair, sighing as he lets his worries slip under the whir of the fan. 
Finished, he shuts off the dryer and opens his eyes, flinching at your reflection in the doorway behind him with a soft smile on your face. “Mum and Dad are going to open a bottle of wine if you want to join,” you say, meeting his eyes in the mirror. 
Sunghoon can’t find it in himself to speak, only nodding in response. You smile wider but don’t move. He unplugs the hairdryer and leaves it on the desk where he found it before crossing the room. Without giving himself a chance to think about it, he pulls you into a hug and kisses the top of your head, smiling into your hair when you wrap your arms around his waist, holding him closer. 
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You’re sitting on the edge of the bathtub, mumbling sleepily that you’re never going to drink again, and Sunghoon leans over the sink brushing his teeth, he’s glad you have the decency to cover your mouth as you speak. 
“Brush your teeth and go back to sleep then,” he mumbles around his toothbrush. 
You don’t respond. 
Sunghoon sighs through his nose, spitting foamy toothpaste into the sink, leaving bubbly, blue splatters on the porcelain. “And quit staring at me, I can feel your beady little eyes on the back of my neck and it’s freaking me out.” 
“But you’re so pretty,” you coo. 
There’s a flutter in his stomach and he rinses off the sink and his mouth, buying himself some time. With a hand on the Listerine, he lifts his gaze to meet yours in the mirror and stops short. You’re still staring at him, features soft and glowing under the afternoon light. You look like an angel; a gentle smile spreading over your lips, and a sleepy glint sparkling in your eyes, wide and gorgeous as you watch him. Sunghoon gulps, mumbling his thanks and looking back at himself. He hopes you can’t see the flush on his cheeks. 
“Go back to sleep,” he says. 
“Will you come and lie down with me if I do?” Your voice is a sleepy drawl, coming out in a slow, high-pitched slur, and your eyes are closing on themselves. 
Lying down doesn’t sound like a terrible idea, especially not if it’s with you, so he nods. “If you brush your teeth, then yeah, baby, I’ll lie down with you.” 
You chuckle softly at Sunghoon’s agreement, the sound carrying a mix of exhaustion and genuine amusement, showing no repulsion to him calling you the B-word. He didn’t mean to, it’s been a confusing few days. You nod, saluting to him and getting up to join him by the sink, using your hip to bump him out of the way, but he feels like he’s glued to the spot. 
“Move, baby,” you mumble sleepily, reaching for your toothbrush. “We can cuddle in my bed,” you suggest, to which Sunghoon only nods, taking your words as a cue to unstick his feet from the floor and go to your room, playing the word ‘baby’ on a loop in his head. 
He stands in the doorway staring at your bed, the duvet is all crumpled in the middle, and the pillows are in an L shape at the top corner. He sighs, he can’t go on like this, can’t stand around hoping even a tiny part of you called him ‘baby’ and it meant something for you as it did for him. It’s not fair for him to project his feelings on you like this, but he can’t help it. You’re already pretending for his parents, so would it be so bad to pretend for his sake as well? Even if only until the day after tomorrow when you leave? 
The sound of the bathroom door shutting behind you snaps him out of his thoughts, your bright smile making his heart race when you tug him by the sleeve to your bed where the mattress dips underneath you as you curl into his form, resting your head on his chest and falling asleep. You’ve shared the bed before, countless times, but he knows you’ve only asked him because you’re tired. Because your brain is foggy with drowsiness that clouds your judgement, not because you want him there, not because you miss him when he’s two doors down the hall, tossing and turning at night thinking about you. He wonders absently if you can feel his aching heart beating through his chest, a painful, yet all too familiar rhythm that pulls his own eyes shut, plunging him into a deep sleep too.
It’s dark in the room when he wakes up, the sun already down behind the curtains and the soft yellow of the bedside lamp casting a glow around the space. You’re staring up at him, smiling and you don’t look away when he catches you. “What is it?” he asks, voice thick with sleep. 
“Nothing,” you mumble. “I just missed you.” Sunghoon has no time to respond or even register what you said before you clear your throat, speaking again.  “Come on, dad’s cooking tonight, he’ll need help.” 
Helping Sunghoon’s dad with dinner always looks an awful lot like Sunghoon eating snacks on the kitchen counter and staring at you as you help his dad cook. Tonight is no exception, he’s sitting on the island, and his snack of choice is a family pack of Chilli Heatwave Doritos his mum bought for Yeji. He’ll have to remember to replace them before leaving seeing as he’s reaching the halfway point. 
You go back and forth with his dad about measurements, with you rummaging through the drawers for measuring cups while his dad says it’s best to trust your gut. Reluctantly, you nod, chewing the inside of your cheek as you watch him eyeball the seasoning. 
The gas stove turns the kitchen into an oven, and you complain about it while opening a window, pulling your hoodie over your head and leaving it in Sunghoon’s lap. Time stops when you grin at him, the light from the stove hood illuminating the necklace you’re wearing, his initial resting on your chest and glowing under the light. He chokes around a crisp when he sees it, catching your attention with his coughing. 
“You’ll spoil your dinner, snacking like that, baby,” you scold, using a hand to push his knee. “We’re almost done, I swear.” 
All he can do is nod, cheeks burning as he folds the crisp packet over before putting it back in the bread bin where he found it. 
“Wow,” his dad says, resting his hands on his hips and shaking his head in amusement. “Being in love looks good on him, he’d never have listened if I said that.” 
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It’s already your last day when Sunghoon picks up Yeji from school. She grumbles for the entire half-hour drive and all the way to the front door about why the two of you couldn’t have started the trip today instead of ending it, but all of her irritation dissolves when she sees you in the hallway, leaving the front door wide open to fling her arms around you. You and Yeji exchange compliments for a while — You look so pretty. No, you look so pretty. I love your hair. I love your hair. — as Sunghoon locks the door and watches with a smile.
“God.” Yeji sighs, holding you by the waist and craning her neck up to look at you, as you push some of her hair from her face, pinning back her wispy bangs with the palm of your hand. Yeji giggles. “I’m so happy you two are together, even though I have no idea what a girl like you sees in my loser brother.” 
Sunghoon rolls his eyes, leaning back against the wall. Despite his mild irritation at Yeji’s words, he finds the sight of you with her so adorable his stomach flutters. Over the top of Yeji’s head, you look at him with a fond smile. “He’s not so bad.” 
It doesn’t sound like a compliment, but Sunghoon takes it to heart. 
Like always, Yeji manages to capture your undivided attention and the two of you giggle and whisper with each other all afternoon while Sunghoon watches, too enamoured by the sight to care about being left out. An hour or so passes like this, until his parents get home from work, excited to see Yeji after a few weeks, and you leave her side, coming to cuddle with Sunghoon instead. 
It’s nice being home with everyone, laughing and sharing a meal before his family walks the two of you to his car with at least a month’s worth of cooked food for you to share at university. Yeji makes you pinky promise that she can visit you and waves with a pout on her face until the car is out of view.
Contrary to what he’d been expecting, the drive back is nice. Your playlist is on, and you’re telling him about all the new songs you added, catching him up on things with Chaewon and Yunjin, and all the things you got up to in the time you spent apart. You tell him about a new café that opened up near your place and how you’ll have to go together when he has the time, and Sunghoon bites his tongue before telling you that he always has time for you. The first half of the trip goes on like this but you start dozing off around the halfway mark, your sentences becoming few and far between, eventually turning into half-mumbled thoughts that end prematurely. 
You’re still asleep when he reaches your flat, head propped up against the window with your soft lips parted, looking too pretty and cosy to wake up. Instead, he drives in circles around your block, deciding to wait for you to wake up on your own. It only takes a half-hour but you blink your eyes open, stretching your neck before looking around and out the car window, recognising the street. You don’t say anything, only smiling when you look at him, a small curve of your lips that makes his heart race.
He gets out of the car with you, opening the boot to get your bag before pulling you into his chest for a hug, liking the way your arms settle around his waist. “Thank you,” he mumbles into your hair. 
Sunghoon doesn’t follow you when you take your bag from him, only watching from the back of his car. You don’t notice until you reach the main door, looking over your shoulder and frowning at him. “Aren’t you going to walk me up?” 
The two of you walk in silence up four flights of stairs as the lift in your building is out of order. Your bag feels much heavier in his hand now than it did outside. At your door, he watches you dig around for your keys, sighing with relief when you find them. 
“Do you want to come in?” you ask from your open doorway.
“I—uh—I have training in the morning and I’m already pretty tired, so..” He trails off.
Unfazed, you nod. “Right, of course. I had fun this week.” 
“Yeah, me too.” 
You smile at him, sweet and sincere. “Text me when you get home, yeah?” 
Sunghoon nods, saying goodbye. Out of habit, he doesn’t leave your doorstep until he hears the lock click shut, and walks back to his car with his head down. 
True to his word, he sends you a text to let you know he got back to his place safely and you read it immediately but don’t reply. It’s empty in the apartment, Jake is out with his football team and the space is larger than usual in his absence. Far too tired to even consider going out and joining him, Sunghoon goes through his night routine, putting his phone on the charger and stepping into the shower where he spends entirely too long wishing he could live in this week forever as he scrubs his body. With brushed teeth and damp hair, he goes back into his room where his phone lights up with a notification; a text, from you.
YN🫀: i’m glad you got home okay, i just got into bed :) i don’t want to make you uncomfortable or overstep or anything and you can say no (obviously).. i’ve been missing you so much and didn’t know how to reach out or if you wanted me to but i had soooo much fun this week and spending time with you again made me happy, so i’d like it if we could keep hanging out, like before yk? ik it’s a long shot ahahaha but just say you’ll think about it? 
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hoonie: You’re not overstepping at all, I’ve missed you too, so bad. I had soooo much fun this week as well and I’d like it a lot if we kept hanging out, thank you for agreeing and coming along 😚 If you’re free after Lit tmrw you could come over? Or we could go out and do something, whatever you prefer
hoonie: I missed you so much.. 
hoonie: 🤍
The texts greet you as the first rays of Monday morning light filter into your room, instantly lifting your mood. Your bright smile doesn’t escape Chaewon’s notice as you find her in the kitchen, bathed in the soft light seeping through the sheer curtains. The kettle is boiling with a loud rumble that fills the whole room and leaves her yelling as she speaks to you. 
“Good trip?” she asks, coming over and hugging you. “Never leave me for that long again,” she mumbles into your shirt. 
“It was a week, Wonie,” you say, rolling your eyes even though you missed her too. 
She leans away, looking at you with knitted brows. “It was nine days.” 
“The longest of my life.” 
Chaewon pulls air through her teeth, tilting her head and releasing you. “That bad, huh?” she asks, walking back to her seat at your tiny square table and shooting you a look that tells you to join her. 
During your trip, you gave her nightly updates over text, so you know she knows how much you enjoyed yourself, but you elaborate anyway, sitting across from her. 
“No, not at all,” you say, shaking your head and trying to fight a smile. “I had fun.” As soon as the words leave your mouth, you have to bite your bottom lip to stop the grin curving them; it doesn’t work. 
Chaewon raises a suggestive brow, crossing her arms over her chest. “How much fun?” 
“You’re disgusting.” 
“I didn’t even say anything!” she defends, holding her hands up. “I made an implication. It was only a matter of time, you two have that whole.. lifelong best friends to lifelong lovers thing going on, and it’s hot.” 
“Shut up.” 
“You’re telling me, you spent nine days playing lovers with Sunghoon and you still don’t want him? You’re a lost cause, people would kill for that chance,” she says, tilting her head. “I think I would kill for that chance.” 
“Don’t touch him.”
“Oh?” 
“Jesus, Chaewon, it’s not like that. Hoon’s too sensitive for your roster.” 
“I never said it was like anything, you’re the one who’s dangling me over the ledge for saying I want to fuck your hot best friend.” 
“Sunghoon isn’t hot; he’s..” You find yourself at a loss for words, unsure how to continue your lie. Of course, Sunghoon is hot, you’ve known since you were seventeen and spent the summer at your grandparents’ house, only to come back to find your previously scrawny best friend having ditched his LEGOs for dumbbells. You sigh. “Just leave him alone.”
Chaewon grins, eyes sparkling as she leaves the table. “Okay,” she says in a singsong voice, leaving you and the irritation in your stomach alone in the kitchen.
You sigh, pressing your eyes shut and trying to will away your discomfort. It’s not like Chaewon would actually try anything with Sunghoon. Right? Even if she did, it wouldn’t bother you, nor would it be any of your business. They’re grownups and reserve the right to explore their options. Still, there’s a nagging feeling you can’t shake, an uninvited guest in the back of your mind. 
When you check your phone, you realise you have half an hour before you need to head to campus, so you leave to get ready and text Sunghoon back on the way to your room.
you: sounds good, see u later 🤍
After showering, you stand in front of your wardrobe, towel hanging from your body as you pick an outfit. For some reason, you feel under pressure, picking a pair of jeans that do the most for your ass and a low-cut top that Sunghoon once — drunkenly — said he loved on you.
You have the residual sting of mouthwash on your tongue, and one foot out the door when your phone vibrates in your hand. 
hoonie: Do you want to head to class together? 
you: sure! i’m omw out, where should i get you? 
hoonie: .. I’m outside your building :D 
Breathing a laugh through your nose, you don’t fight the giddy smile on your face as you make your way downstairs to meet Sunghoon. Through the glass in the main door, he’s standing at the edge of the pavement and kicking a stone between his feet. The top of his puffer jacket covers the bottom half of his face, and the draught nips your skin when the door opens. Two girls you vaguely recognise stumble in with smudged makeup and heels in their hands, smiling at you while holding the door to let you out.
“Hey!” you call out, jogging over to him. 
Sunghoon turns around, his head poking out of his jacket to grin at you, holding a travel cup and an abundance of tinfoil in your direction. 
“I wasn’t sure if you’d have eaten anything yet, you don’t normally in the morning,” he says, a sheepish smile spreading over his lips when you take it. “Matcha. Ham and cheese toastie.” 
“Did you make these?” you ask, inspecting the familiar cup and appreciating the warmth it provides. 
He hums, nodding his head.
You ignore the heat spreading over your cheeks and thank him with a hug, grinning when he offers to hold your drink while you eat on the walk. The toastie is still hot, the cheese coming close to burning your tongue as you chew, but you appreciate it wholeheartedly, humming contently with each bite. When you’re done, you shove the foil into your pocket, taking your drink from him and smiling around the sweet taste of a matcha latte as he tells you about his schedule for the day. 
“I’m meeting with Coach after class to talk about my grades, but I’m all yours after that.” 
“Talk about your grades? What’s wrong with your grades?” 
Sunghoon groans, head falling back and highlighting the bump of his Adam’s apple. “My grades are.. I failed my coursework this month, so I have resubmissions during finals, and I think he’ll bench me if I fail again.” 
He sounds like he’s being serious, and if the look on his face is anything to go by, he is. The news creases your brows because for as long as you remember, Sunghoon’s grades were your parents’ favourite point of comparison.
“Really?” you ask. He nods. “What’s up? Is something the matter?” 
A humourless laugh slips out of him before he pulls air through his teeth. “Yeah, my best friend didn’t talk to me for three months.” 
“Oh..” Guilt stirs your stomach as you look up at him. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not blaming you, it’s not like I was trying to talk and you ignored me.” He nudges your arm with his elbow, giving you a warm smile. “But if you feel as guilty about it as you look, you can tutor me for Lit.” 
“Deal.” 
Sunghoon grins, wrapping his arm over your shoulders and holding you close; the action itself isn’t unusual, but the increased heart rate it brings about is. “You’re too good to me,” he says, holding onto you for the rest of the walk to class.
At his request, you sit with Sunghoon in the back row, watching as the lecture hall gradually fills up in front of you. He seems well-prepared, with his laptop and a small notepad and pen neatly arranged on the desk in front of him.
Throughout the class, your eyes inadvertently track his every move. He diligently types up colour-coded notes, occasionally pausing to write things in his notepad before continuing to type or stopping entirely to listen. There’s something melodic about his actions and the way his fingers run over the keyboard. 
During a five-minute break, you glance at his screen. What you find is more than just lecture content; it’s a document adorned with Sunghoon’s own musings about Hemingway’s style and carefully analysed quotations that go beyond the class discussion.
“How are your notes so good?” 
“I picked up the book over the summer when you mentioned it,” Sunghoon replies with a shrug, a shy smile playing on his lips as he leans back in his seat. “I liked it.” 
A slow nod is your response, though your thoughts swirl like autumn leaves in a breeze. The last time Sunghoon read for leisure, you were in primary school, buddy reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid. But this—this is different. You can’t help but stare at him, awestruck as you take him in. His eyes are wide, shining amber in the sunlight as he pushes some of his hair from his face, frowning when it falls back where it was. 
“Don’t look at me like that,” he mumbles. 
Sunghoon takes a new line in his document and points at the screen where you watch the cursor move through the words he’s typing: I would’ve read and annotated the Bible if you wanted me to..
There’s no time to digest what he wrote or the funny feeling in your chest as you reread it before he deletes the whole sentence, pressing his lips together and looking out the window. Speechless, you stare at his side profile, willing your heart rate to slip back to normal. Steep-sloping nose, plump lips flattened into a line, two points of the triangular mole constellation on his face. Analysis worsens your condition, breath hitching in your throat before stopping entirely. Warmth and trepidation blend within you, fuzzy enough at the edges to seem like one thing—a single force that makes your palm itch with desire, desperation, to reach out and run a finger over his features, feel the bump of the mole on his nose — the most prominent — against your skin. 
You remain this way — silent, watching — even when your lecturer resumes the lesson, and Sunghoon starts typing, writing, and listening again. Polite enough to pretend he doesn’t notice your gaze searing into his face.
After class, and his meeting with Coach, you let Sunghoon lead the conversation and the way to your flat, where you find Chaewon and Yunjin sitting on the couch, whispering to themselves while the two of you study at the coffee table. It’s uncomfortable, an awkward height, too high for the way you’re sitting but you feel calm under the supervision of Chaewon and Yunjin—you won’t do anything to merit teasing in front of them, no matter how badly you want to feel Sunghoon’s face in your hands or stroke his cheekbones with your thumbs. 
To the best of your ability, you answer the questions he has for you—he’d written a ton in his tiny notepad during class, his own concerns clear with each neatly-penned iteration of: How to see actions/dialogue for what they are and not what I want them to be? written in the margins and you try not to feel heartbroken for him.
Three hours have passed by when you walk him to the door, the two of you wrapped up in a bubble so secure you’re surprised to find Chaewon and Yunjin still sitting on the couch. They don’t say anything about Sunghoon in his absence, or the fact he’d given you his sweater when he noticed you were cold. You’re not sure why their silence disappoints you.
Instead, Yunjin asks you about trivial things like dinner while Chaewon sits in silence. 
“What flavour for ice cream?” Yunjin asks, rolling her eyes when you tug on the blanket but not complaining. “And don’t say something ridiculous like mint chocolate, YN.” 
“That happened once! And it was three years ago.. How was I supposed to know you hate fun?” 
Chaewon leans into you, letting you curl your limbs around her from behind as you rest your chin on her shoulder, liking the way her clean scent tickles your nose. 
“Mint-cho isn’t that bad,” she starts. “It’s a little jarring, sure, but it’s kind of sweet. Like watching people come to terms with their feelings for each other.” 
You nod your head, humming in understanding and furrowing your brows when Yunjin scoffs, staring straight at you. Her tone is equal parts cutting and loving, so you know she’s not trying to insult you, but don’t know what she means when she says, “It must be so nice to be as oblivious as you.” 
Yunjin never elaborates, and you never ask, actually feeling the statement’s journey in through one of your ears and out the other when dinner arrives. The three of you share pizza, ice cream, and secrets — the three pillars of 20-something-teenage-girlhood — at the kitchen table, with Chaewon sitting in your lap and picking pepperoni from your slices. 
It’s only hours after Yunijn’s gone home, that her words circle back to you, the statement and all of its weight perching on your chest with all the debilitation and persistence of a sleep paralysis demon.
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“I think I’m getting sick,” you say as soon as she opens her door. “It’s been coming on for a while now, at least a week, maybe more.” 
Unimpressed and exhausted, Yunjin looks down at you through half-closed eyes. “Do you..” She pinches the bridge of her nose, sighing. “Do you have any idea what time it is right now?” 
“Yes. It’s three a.m.” 
“Exactly. See a doctor if you’re sick, I’m going back to sleep.”
“This is an emergen—” Yunjin cuts you off by pinching your lips together. “It’s three in the morning,” she reminds you. “You can’t yell like that in my hallway, come in.” 
You nod, crossing the threshold and taking off your shoes next to hers. “Sorry,” you whisper when the door is closed. 
Using her hand, Yunjin lifts your chin, squinting as her eyes adjust to the light when she flips the switch to inspect your face. “You don’t look or sound sick,” she mutters, flicking the light back off and going to her room. “What are your symptoms? And why did you come here?” 
You don’t have an answer for her last question so you ignore it, following her and tripping over a pair of her shoes in the process. “My cheeks start burning like crazy and my heart races, sometimes it gets hard to breathe.”
“You seem fine to me.” 
A shoulder-slumping sigh slips from your lips. “That’s the thing. I’ll be fine and then Sunghoon shows up with his pretty smile and perfect hair and I feel like I’ve run a marathon.” You know how it sounds, choosing your wording meticulously to let Yunjin be the one to say the words out loud instead of you—it’ll be easier to confront that way. 
From the doorway, you watch as she arches a brow, her interest piqued. “Oh?” 
“I know.” You nod, head bobbing rapidly in furious agreement. “It’s only a matter of time before I cough up a lung and die in his bedroom.”
At your words, Yunjin doesn't reply, only lifting her duvet and getting cosy underneath. You feel like you’re glued to the spot, waiting for her to say something, anything, but nothing comes. All she does is pat the empty spot in her bed. 
“What are you smirking for?” you ask, entering the room properly and closing the door. 
Her response only comes after you’ve taken your jacket and hoodie off, sitting next to her under the covers. “It’s nothing,” she says, laughing. 
“Tell me.” 
Yunjin sighs, resting a hand gently on your shoulder. You think it’s meant to be comforting but it’s the opposite. “You’ll be fine, I promise. Lovesickness isn’t deadly.” 
Feeling the weight of her reassurance, you settle down properly and sigh when your head hits the pillow. Lovesickness. Hmm. 
Closing your eyes, you try to sleep but can’t help tossing and turning as Yunjin snores behind you. You pat blindly around the end table for your phone, grabbing it and wincing at the brightness of your screen. Chewing on your lip, you open Google, looking up ‘lovesickness’ and frowning immediately at the results. Endless negativity fills the screen, terrifying words like ‘unrequited love’ forming a pit in your stomach. There’s nothing negative about what you feel for Sunghoon, nothing unrequited—you think. 
It was obvious during the trip, painfully so. In the way he’d tuck your hair behind your ear when his parents weren’t there to see, or how he slipped up and called you ‘baby’ in the bathroom, blushing when you said it back. You can’t fake something like that.. Can you?
Yeonjun did.
Shaking your head, you open Instagram to distract yourself. Jake’s story comes up first; he’s at a party where Jay is losing a game of beer pong, and at the other end of the table is Sunghoon grinning with a bright red lipstick kiss on his cheek. You lock your phone, using your hands to press on your belly to stop the stirring. 
Oh, you think. Lovesickness. 
When you wake up, the first thing you do is check Jake’s story again. The video is still there and that terrible stir in your stomach churns on, burrowing deeply into a pit of canyon-like proportion—so vast there’s a safety railing lining its edges. 
You eat breakfast in silence with Yunjin, zoning out mid-chew to figure out the origin of these feelings and how to handle them. Suddenly, the moment hits you clear as day, vivid like you’re watching it on a screen—it was your third night at his parents’ house, after your walk. 
You felt bad about how you acted, and what you said, so went straight up to your room. With nothing but the bedside lamp turned on, it was dimly lit, shadows cast on the walls as you sulked, replaying everything in your head. Guilt wrapped its long arms around your body, making you feel sick as you thought about it all. About the hurt etched over his face with every word you said, and the frown that stuck around for the rest of the walk as his hand clung limply to yours. 
There was a knock at the door, so gentle you almost missed it, and Sunghoon was standing there when you pulled it open, chewing on his lip with a mug in his hand. Steam skated over the opening, a rich chocolatey smell hitting your nose but the real kicker was the mug itself. In its place on Jake and Sunghoon’s mug tree, it was unassuming, a regular white mug, but upon meeting hot water, the face of young Sunghoon appeared, grinning with his tiny glasses on. It was a gift from one of his old coaches and though he never used it, it was your absolute favourite cup in the world. 
You felt soft around the edges when you looked up at him, his eyes wide and unsure as you met his gaze—he brought that mug three hours across the country so you could use it again. The thought shifted your heart into a comfortable position, settling in your chest with overwhelming warmth and an increased rate. 
“Hi,” you said, clearing your throat. 
“Hi,” he repeated, holding the mug out for you to take. “It’s still hot so be careful.” 
Nodding, you covered your hands with your sleeves, taking the cup from him and asking if he wanted to come in. Sunghoon nodded, shutting the door behind him and standing by the bed, watching you set the hot chocolate on the bedside table as you sat down. The two of you stayed like that for a while, with him only moving when you patted the spot next to you on the duvet. Your train of thought escaped you as soon as he sat down, the warmth of his familiar fresh, citrusy scent taking over and becoming the only thing you could register. The smell of summers with him, long days at the beach and short nights spent on the couch at random parties, cuddled into his side with his arm over your shoulders. The smell you’d come to associate with comfort and home—with Sunghoon. 
“It’s not fair for me to treat you like shit just because I’m annoyed, I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that earlier. I’m sorry.” 
A crease ran over Sunghoon’s thick brows as they tugged together, he shook his head. “You don’t have to apologise. I roped you into this whole thing and didn’t even try to think about how you would feel. I’m sorry.” His eyes carried a mix of regret and sincerity, mirroring the weight of his words.
“Anyway, I only came to bring you that,” he said, pointing at the cup. “And to check up on you, I’ll get out of your hair for tonight.” Sunghoon wiped his palms on his pants before standing up, reaching behind him to pick up the cloth he brought. For a moment, he stood there, staring down at it in his hand while you thought about telling him to stay, telling him that you wanted him in your hair—whatever that meant. But he spoke before you had the chance. “You left this, at mine, after.. well, you know. I’m sure you left it intentionally, I mean it was folded up perfectly on the end of my bed, so I know you did, but it didn’t feel right keeping it, you always wore it more than me.” 
Sunghoon extended his hand, holding it out to you and you knew exactly what it was as soon as the fabric touched your skin after so long. It was the shirt Jay bought him for Christmas in first year—they were roommates still trying to get a feel for each other. For a few weeks, Sunghoon had been pestering you about what he should get for Jay, saying it didn’t feel right not to get him anything, and you suggested a targeted t-shirt, one you’d been laughing at all day after seeing an ad for it on your timeline. Sunghoon was sceptical, but bought the red shirt anyway, hoping Jay would find BEING DAD IS AN HONOUR, BEING PAPA IS PRICELESS funny. He did. And Jay bought Sunghoon a targeted shirt too, your favourite. It was black and two sizes too big, with I NEVER DREAMED I’D BE A SEXY FIGURE SKATER BUT HERE I AM KILLING IT written over the chest. 
“Goodnight, YN,” Sunghoon said, crossing the room to leave but hesitating before closing the door. He poked his head through the opening and sighed. “I really am sorry.”
That night, you fell asleep in the shirt, the thinning, yet cosy, fabric wrapped around you like a hug as your heart started to beat a new rhythm, one that eerily echoed the five-foot-eleven figure skater who you let break it. 
This morning, Yunjin claps her hands in your face, seeming irritated when you look over at her. “You have class in an hour, what are you doing?” Before you have the chance to speak, realisation covers her face. “Oh, the feelings.” 
You nod solemnly, too caught up in the butterflies raiding your stomach to come up with something to say. 
At lightspeed, you scarf down the rest of your food, apologising for showing up so late as you head out the door. When you get home, you take the fastest shower of your life and feel grateful Chaewon isn’t around to tease you about the smile you can’t wipe from your face thinking about Sunghoon—you’ll text her later.
You run to campus, feeling the brisk autumn wind beating against your face while the rest of your body overheats under your jacket, hoodie and long sleeve. Despite the discomfort and ache in your lungs, you don’t stop until you reach the door of your lecture hall, huffing and puffing into the faces of classmates who don’t take any notice. Of course, in a stroke of pure luck, your lecturer is late, and you realise bitterly, that all of your huffing and puffing was in vain—you would have gotten to class with time to spare even if you walked.
It’s not a total waste though; you use the time to update Chaewon. 
you: i have news wonie..  i like sunghoon
wonie: …………….. fork in the kitchen yn what’s the news? 
wonie: OHHHH news to YOU.. can i call? 
She calls you immediately. You answer without thinking because your lecturer still hasn’t arrived, and there’s no one sitting close enough to hear or notice you taking a call. 
“Are you going to tell him?!” Chaewon’s voice is so loud you wince, pulling the phone away from your ear. 
“I don’t know.” You shrug even though she can’t see you, still holding the device at a distance just in case. “I don’t have any confirmation that he still.. likes me. It’s been a while, and I was pretty mean that day. 
Chaewon groans and you can picture her throwing herself onto her bed, exasperated. The rustling that comes through the receiver only frames the image, hanging it up. “Did you have to tell him to get a grip?” 
“You know..” You trail off, chewing on your bottom lip. “In hindsight, probably not.” 
A beat passes, she’s thinking. “Don’t worry,” she says. “I’ll help you.” 
“I.. have never been so worried in my life.” You sigh, picking at your freshly painted nails. “But I know you’ll do something no matter what I say, so do what you want, Wonie, but please be subtle about it.” 
Chaewon squeals down the phone. “I love youuuuu!” And it’s the last thing she says before kissing the mic a few times and hanging up. 
Slumping in your seat, you don’t have any time to stress about Chaewon’s plans because your lecturer walks in, with a travel cup in her hand and a paperback tucked under her arm. 
She apologises for being late, running a hand through her hair as she announces that you’ll be watching a film, an adaptation of a book you read at the start of term—Ian McEwan’s Atonement. You spend the first hour of the movie falling in and out of sleep until a text comes through from Sunghoon, and sheer excitement keeps you up.
hoonie: Wanna study together after class? 
you: of course!!!!!! 
hoonie: 🤍
The rest of the movie goes by in a drag, and you come away from it with a mild irritation towards Saoirse Ronan.
you: class just finished, heading to lib rn 
hoonie: Shit, still in the locker room, sorry !!! Omw, can you get a table? 
you: i’ll try..
It takes a while but you find an empty booth on the second floor, and set your bag on the plush green seat to take pictures of your surroundings to send to Sunghoon. You sit on the side facing the stairs so he can see you when he arrives. The thought of seeing him makes your heart race and you try out a few natural-seeming poses for when he’s here, cycling between resting your palm under your chin and sitting with your arms crossed a few times until the top of his head comes into view. 
Seeing him knocks the wind out of you as he approaches the staircase, taking them two at a time with his damp hair clinging to his forehead and neck. It doesn’t help that he’s wearing a tight black vest, and his sweats are hanging low on his hips. A breath you didn’t realise you were holding slips out when he lifts his head, spotting you immediately as a grin spreads over his lips and he raises his arm to wave, the veins in his forearm peeking out to say hi too. You can’t tell if it’s his lack of winter wardrobe or your newfound appreciation for him that’s making his biceps look so huge but it’s hard to look away, even when he reaches the table. 
“Are you hot?” you blurt out. 
Sunghoon laughs, raising a brow and something about the way he’s looking down at you makes your cheeks burn. “Depends who’s asking.” He takes his backpack off, leaving it on the table as he sits down, dumping his jacket and hoodie in a pile beside him.
“I’m asking,” you mumble. 
“Then, yeah, I’d hope so.” 
Is he flirting? It sounds like he’s flirting. Flirt back! “Nice arms.” 
He looks down at his biceps for a beat before looking at you warily. “Are you flirting with me?” He can’t fight the smile twitching at the corners of his lips but he tries his best, pressing them into a straight line.
“A little. They are nice though,” you admit.
Sunghoon grins. “Thanks, I’ve had them for a while now.”
You can’t come up with anything to say, too distracted by the way his smile reaches his eyes, lighting up his whole face and forcing a flustered heat to spread over your cheeks and neck. It’s only when you look away from him that you remember what you’re here for. It’s a study date, not a study date—there’s a difference. 
You hand Sunghoon the material you’d printed for him over the weekend, excerpts from texts you’d studied in class, so he can practise close reading and proper citation. As he makes his way through them, you can’t help stealing glances, smiling at the way his tongue sticks out a little while he focuses, or how he twirls his pen in his fingers while he’s thinking. You aren’t making the best use of your time together, copying out the slides from class yesterday, but you can’t help noticing the way he watches you when he thinks you can’t see. The small smile on his face while he does so only flusters you, an odd weakness settling in your knees as your cheeks heat up. 
After a while, Sunghoon sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Could you stop watching me?”
“If you noticed me watching, that means you’re watching me.” 
He shrugs, chewing on his lip. “Well, yeah. I’m always watching you,” he says like it’s a given. “But you don’t normally watch back, it’s distracting.” 
“You’re distracting.”
A playful smile curves his lips as he arches a brow, smugness painting his face. “Am I?” 
Too scared to verbalise your response, you nod slowly, hoping you don’t look as wound up as you feel. 
Sunghoon’s eyes flick over your face, flashing with something you don’t recognise. At least not from him. He sits back in his seat, assessing you and eventually shaking his head. 
“You know,” he says, eyes glowing with something you do recognise: cockiness. “If my sexy arms are getting to you that much, I can always put my hoodie back on. Wouldn’t want my little tutor getting distracted, would I?” 
Oh. 
Your stomach turns with want, mind reeling from his tone and the way his gaze lands on your lips. Sighing, you roll your eyes and try to seem unaffected. “Sunghoon, I never said your arms were sexy.” 
His phone starts to go off, buzzing against the table and he turns it over immediately, screen down on the surface as he shifts his focus back to his work. He chews on his lip while he does, eyes flicking back and forth between his phone and the words on the page. Curious, you lean over the table, elbows propped up as you rest your chin in your hands. He doesn’t spare you or his phone, which vibrates another four times, a glance.
“Are you going to get that?” 
Sunghoon shakes his head. “It’s nothing.” 
You hum, letting just enough curiosity seep into the sound that he’ll elaborate without being asked to. It doesn’t take long for him to deliver.
“It’s just Chaewon,” he says, running his hand through his hair and lifting his head. Sunghoon smiles. “We’ve been texting a lot these days.” 
“Cool.” You nod a few times, aiming for nonchalance but hitting bobblehead as you wait for him to continue. He doesn’t, only humming in response, nodding too. 
After a beat, he picks up his phone, angling it just high enough that you can’t see the screen. He reads the messages, an exhaled laugh coming from his nose as the tips of his ears redden—Fuck. This is worse than you thought. 
Chaewon’s commitment to girl code runs deep—she’s been rebuffing Jake since first year when she overheard a girl she’d never seen before telling her friends she thought he was cute. So you know without having to read the texts that nothing she’s saying is even remotely flirty, you can smell the auto-caps and use of the word ‘buddy’ from across the table. 
What you hadn’t counted on, however, was the potential for Sunghoon’s feelings to shift. If they really have been texting more, can you rule out the possibility that he might like.. her? Chaewon is a catch, beyond a catch, and you’d already turned Sunghoon down. Brutally. Of course, he’d move on, he has moved on. 
The rest of the study session is spent manifesting, writing Park Sunghoon over and over in the back of your notebook. You fill three pages while brainstorming ways to snatch a lock of his hair until he suggests that the two of you call it a day. He walks you home, telling you about how Jake’s been bribing him with food to get a ride to the LEGO store across town for the new Marvel set. 
“With or without the meals, I would’ve taken him, but his ramen is my favourite, so..” Sunghoon says, climbing the last step of your building and holding the door open for you. “He even brought a slice of tiramisu to the rink for me after practice.” 
“You’re terrible,” you say, frowning up at him as you search for your keys. “Do you want to come in?” 
Sunghoon chuckles, shaking his head. “I have a meeting with one of my lecturers soon, I’d have to leave in—” He pauses, rolling up the sleeve of his jacket to check the time. “—eight minutes.” 
“I’m cool with that if you are,” you mumble, suddenly shy. 
A bright smile spreads over his lips and he nods, following you in. 
Chilled by the harsh wind, the only thing on your mind is a hot drink as you lead Sunghoon to the kitchen. He shakes his head when you offer him one, sitting on the countertop and exhaling into his palms before rubbing them together. You can’t help but frown at the sight, feeling guilty that you can’t change the weather to suit him. At your thought process, your brows raise. Wow, you think. Is this who you are? 
You busy yourself with the selection of hot drinks you and Chaewon have accumulated, eyeing each container from top to bottom. A purple tub of Cadbury’s hot chocolate that you’re sure is on the brink of expiration, coffee—sachets of the instant stuff you’ve grown to like since leaving home, Earl grey from one of many brands, or the fancy silk tea bags Chaewon’s mum brought home from a trip—rooibos or plum-apple-cinnamon. 
Craving something sweet, you settle for hot chocolate, pulling the heavy container from the cupboard next to Sunghoon’s head and setting it beside your cup. He’s on his phone, scrolling too fast to take in anything he’s seeing and he shakes his head when you ask if he wants something to drink. 
On the dish rack, Chaewon’s mug catches your eye, so you pick it up to dry it off and put it down next to yours. “I’m going to check if Wonie wants any,” you say, wiping imaginary crumbs from the counter onto the floor. 
Sunghoon only clears his throat, shaking his head. “She’s not home, one of her acrylics popped off so she’s at the shop waiting for a cancellation.” 
The information itself isn’t jarring but hearing it from Sunghoon is. You put on what you hope is a neutral smile and nod, taking milk from the fridge and assembling your drink on autopilot while thinking of ways to redirect the conversation. 
“If you knew you’d have to go back to campus so soon, why’d you walk me home?” you ask, watching your cup spin in the microwave. “I could’ve walked on my own.” 
Sunghoon is already looking at you when you turn your head, his cheeks puffed out with air as he blinks slowly. Because I love you, is what you hope he’ll say. You think you need him to say it. 
“Because you don’t have to do anything on your own when you have me,” he says instead, and it’s infinitely better. 
The words seep through your every fibre, his intonation and lucid affection making a home for themselves in your heart, spreading warmth from head to toe. Your smile becomes a radiant grin, only brightening when he shakes his head, smiling down at his feet. 
Sunghoon hugs you in the kitchen when it’s time for him to leave, his arms holding you tight to his chest as he rocks you back and forth. You inhale his scent, all warm citrus under freshly washed cotton and something exclusive to him.
Wiping the smile from your face feels impossible. You don’t let go when he does, and a sweet laugh — a giggle, you think — tumbles out of him as he mumbles that he really has to go. Still, you cling onto him, taking clumsy steps backwards, with your arms locked around his waist, to your front door, smiling as you watch him put his shoes on. 
“You don’t have to walk me downstairs, honestly,” he says, looking down at you in the doorway.
“I want to.” 
His lips quirk up at the corners, a full smile breaking through and causing your stomach to flutter with so much force you’re sure it’s visible through your shirt. His eyes fall to your lips, lingering, before he clears his throat, looking away. 
“I’ll text you when I get to the door, promise.” 
You lock your pinky with his. “Send a selfie, just so I know it’s you and not someone else using your phone.” 
Sunghoon’s head falls back in a laugh. “Should I just call you? That way you can make sure I get back to uni in one piece.” 
You nod.
“That wasn’t anything with Chaewon earlier, I just needed advice on some girl stuff..” He trails off, searching your eyes. It’s obvious that he’s telling the truth, that he wants you to believe him. You do. “I wasn’t sure if that was something I could talk about with you.” 
Girl stuff. Hmm. You try not to read too much into it and look at the bigger picture instead—your best friend is going through something and doesn’t feel like he can come to you about it.. You squeeze his pinky reassuringly, a flutter in your stomach when he smiles. 
“You can talk to me about anything,” you say, meaning it. 
Sunghoon presses his lips together, humming and unlinking your fingers. “Next time,” he says after a beat, waving at you. 
You shut the door, locking it while watching through the peephole, he leaves as soon as the lock clicks shut. In the kitchen, your hot chocolate is cooling down, and your phone rings in your back pocket. Sunghoon’s calling. 
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Hanging out with Sunghoon. Making sure he sticks to the time-blocked schedule you made for him. Quizzing him on biology terms until he gets restless. If the last two weeks were an episode of Family Feud, those would be the top three answers to the question: Name something YN is doing right now.
Thankfully tonight, it’s the first one. 
You’ve been sitting on the couch for so long, Jake has both left for football practice and arrived from football practice. Conversation ebbs and flows—an hour or so of nonstop talking, followed by another hour or so of comfortable near silence. 
It’s during a quiet hour that Sunghoon sits up straight, clearing his throat before saying, “Let me ask you something. He retreats to the other side of the couch, turning to face you with his whole body. “I don’t want things to be weird after I ask, so no matter what your answer is, I won’t bring it up or ask again.”
Arching a curious brow, you nod. “You can ask me anything,” you say, meaning it.
Sunghoon’s face is impressively blank—minus the motion of sharp teeth worrying plush lip, there’s absolutely nothing behind his eyes that seem to stare right through you. 
Eventually, he asks, “Can I kiss you?” He says more. Big, scary words like for closure and moving on, but they don’t register. They don’t matter. 
Your heart pounds at the base of your throat as you find interest in your hands that sit in your lap. Even without looking at him, you can’t get over the slight crease he had in his brow and the slight tremor in his hands. 
“For closure,” you repeat, though your voice doesn’t sound like it’s coming from you, muffled under the thump of your heart. 
Sunghoon nods. “For closure.” 
A humourless laugh sneaks past your throat as you look at him. You shouldn’t have. In the lamplight, Sunghoon is golden and glorious. Warm light casts one side of his face, diffusing gently over the steep slope of his nose, highlighting his moles and the look in his eyes, gentle and curious all at once. Unwillingly, your gaze falls to his lips, parted, tempting. 
One firm nod of your head brings Sunghoon’s hand to your face, his palm cupping your cheek with soft skin as his thumb traces your cheekbone. You grow anxious under his stare, under the drag of his eyes over your features, taking them one at a time like he’s committing them to memory.
Leaning in, your eyes flutter shut as your lips meet his and he freezes, mouth completely still on yours. Delicately, your tongue traces the seam of his lips, soft and plump, until they part for you, moving with yours. Sunghoon’s kiss is unpolished when it reaches you. It’s hesitant but tender, clumsy but sweet, he’s trying and he’s perfect; your favourite. 
The kiss is.. it’s everything. It’s the racing of your heart, the thudding, the vibrant buzz you can hear, feel humming against your ears. It’s a rush of blood to the head, a lightness all over that pulls you out of your body. It’s Sunghoon’s soft lips curving into a smile against yours, his gentle hold on your face never letting up as he holds you as close as he can manage, and it’s every bit as lovely as the rest of him.
Palpable is the heartbeat of your friendship, beating to a lull under the surface of the kiss, fizzling out into nothing, a steady silence, flatlining to give way to something more, something bigger. 
Every brush of your lips against his is a revelation, a confession. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, you tell him with your kiss. You’re everything I need. His free hand finds yours, locking your fingers and squeezing, the action timed well enough to make you think he hears you, to make you think he’s saying, we’ll be okay, I still love you. 
With that, he pulls away, a delicate tension piercing the air. Blown eyes and laboured breathing—he’s beautiful, fuzzy around the edges with warm orange and all of the love in your heart. Breathless, you chew on your lip, cognisant of Sunghoon’s hand in yours and the sparkle in his eyes as he looks at you. 
Belatedly, you squeeze his hand back, smiling. “Was it everything you ever dreamed of?” you whisper, part teasing, all curious.
Abruptly, Sunghoon stands up, letting go of you in the process. “I have to go.” 
You want to stop him, you think you’re supposed to. To grab him by the arm and kiss him again, to yell in his face that you love him until he understands. But you don’t. Instead, you stay seated, staring at Sunghoon’s back and following him with your eyes out of the room and down the hall until he’s out of sight. 
It’s your first time being so upset after a kiss, and you can’t tell if it’s his leaving or the mention of him moving on that’s tripping you up so much. That’s causing melancholy to crawl from the shadows, sinking its jagged nails into your skin to pull you under. 
You love him. He’s gone. 
Eyes stuck on the doorway, time stretches over the room around you, thick and malleable, wet and cloying—clay stuck under your nails for days as the fire in the kiln rages on. 
Sighing, you get up and wait at his door. You ball your hand into a limp fist, knocking weakly. Sunghoon doesn’t reply. You try again, harder. Still nothing. 
Barging into the room, you find him sitting on the end of his bed with his face in his hands. 
“Don’t move on.” The words come out before you realise and Sunghoon lifts his head, squinting at you. 
“Huh?” He tilts his head, watching closely as you approach him, tipping it back enough to meet your eyes when you stand over him. 
You take a breath, holding it until your head starts to spin. “I don’t want you to love someone else, Sunghoon. Please don’t move on.” 
The stillness that follows is disconcerting, a long quiet you can feel on your skin, amplifying the blank stare on his face as he looks up at you. His eyes flash, a spark of hope behind them so bright it stings to look at.
“Do you..” He trails off, his lips moving to form the next word though stopping short.
“I do,” you whisper, nodding. “I’m sorry for taking so long.”
An exhaled laugh comes from his nose as he grins, shaking his head. “You like me?” he asks, excitement and disbelief fighting for authority over his voice, his hands holding your waist and pulling you down into his lap.
“I love you,” you admit, settling on his thighs. 
“You do?” His eyes are wide and gleaming, searching every feature on your face before settling on your own.
You nod. “So much.” 
Sunghoon’s chin tips up, his lips pressing against yours, excited pecks that can’t turn into much more for the smiles on your faces. You rest your arms on his shoulders, hands clasping behind his head, nervous fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. 
“So.. will you be my boyfriend? For real?” 
Tilting his head, he tries and fails to fight a smile. “I will. I’m a little bummed though.” 
“Why?” You raise a brow, and the word tips up at the end with it. 
“I wanted to be the one to ask you.” Sunghoon’s honesty warms the room, endearing you completely. 
You grin, loving the heat spreading over your cheeks. “Ask me anyway.” 
“Please can I be your boyfriend?” 
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In the weeks that followed, it became immediately clear that boyfriend Sunghoon operated on a pendulum swinging between sexual ferality and terror. He’d get distracted during study sessions at home, finding more interest in biting at your neck than stream-of-consciousness prose, but closed his eyes if a sex scene came on TV. He’d buck his hips against yours while making out but flinch at the sight of condoms in the store.
He wasn’t ready to have sex and didn’t know how to tell you, so you took matters into your own hands, asking if you could wait until after his results for resubmission came in, saying you didn’t want the distraction for either of you. Sunghoon agreed, pecking your cheek and holding you tight to his chest. 
The only thing was that your lecturer hadn’t given him an exact date, so every morning, you held your phone in a vice grip waiting for Sunghoon to update you, and every morning, you got the same text: Nothing today, baby ☹️ 
This morning, you’re brushing your teeth when he texts you, in all caps: NO FUCKING WAY I GOT A 98 !!! LOOK !!!
When the picture comes through, it’s of him in the mirror and you choke on mouthwash at the sight. He’s smiling, bright and beautiful, in a black vest that he’s holding up a little to show his stomach, though his palm is in the way of his toned abs, and it cuts off right at the top of his grey sweatpants. 
Your mouth goes dry as you click on it, fixating on every little detail you can find: the thickness of his fingers against his phone, the dip in his collarbones, the breadth of his shoulders and the cinch of his waist. In a fit of desperation, you try swiping at the bottom of your screen, willing the picture to magically extend. It doesn’t. 
hoonie: Finger slipped.. You like?
you: mm.. 
you: 98??? HOLY SHIT, LOOK AT YOU!!!
hoonie: All you.. do you like the picture?
you: i love it………….
hoonie: My girl 🤍
Another picture comes in, and sure enough, through the glare of his laptop screen, you see: Course name: The Modernist Movement: Joyce, Woolf, and Hemingway. Marks Awarded: 98.0.
you: well done baby !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hoonie: Thx 😁
hoonie: Can I have my prize now ha ha .. haha 😈
you: just for that emoji, no you absolutely cannot.
Your resolve isn’t strong enough when it comes to Sunghoon, because purple devil emoji and all, you show up at his door with condoms in your bag and a bouquet of lilies behind your back. 
The door creaks open and Sunghoon greets you with a grin. “Hey, gorgeous. You proud of me?” 
You beam at him, holding out the flowers. “I’m very proud, Hoon, well done.” 
“I don’t want to ruin the moment,” he starts, taking the bouquet from your hands and sniffing the flowers with an approving smile. “But hearing you say you’re proud of me is awakening something I didn’t know existed.”
“A good something?” 
“Mm,” he hums, arms finding your waist before he pecks your lips. “A very good something.” 
Sunghoon’s words hit your lips and your core, a desperate heat flooding your stomach as he kisses you deeply, his body pressed tightly against yours while he pulls you into his apartment. He kicks the door shut with his foot, slipping his hand under your jacket to settle in your back pocket, not quite squeezing but holding your ass as gently as he can manage. 
He breaks away from you, love in his eyes as he stares down into yours, catching his breath. “I don’t think we own a vase.” 
In his kitchen, you rifle through cupboards to find something to hold the flowers, eventually finding a whiskey decanter in the cupboard under the sink, and holding it up for Sunghoon to see.
“Oh, yeah,” he says. “It’s Jay’s. It’ll work right?” 
You nod, taking it to the sink to rinse it. Sunghoon wraps his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder watching you fill the decanter with water and flower food before grabbing the bouquet. He presses open-mouthed kisses to your neck and you struggle to stay focused as you cut down the stems on the flowers, arranging them neatly. 
“Can I take a photo?” he asks when you’re done. 
He’s smiling when you turn around to look at him, a soft curve of his lips that makes your heart race, a deep tenderness in his eyes when you meet them. You smile too. 
“They’re yours, baby, do whatever you want.” 
“A photo of you with the flowers,” he clarifies. 
Warmth settles in your chest, a grin spreading over your lips from ear to ear. You nod, taking the decanter in your hands when he lets go of you, holding the flowers up beside your face and smiling for his camera. As his phone shutter clicks away, you steal glances at his face behind it. He’s watching the screen with a smile, telling you how beautiful you are.
“I want pictures of you too,” you say, handing the flowers over. 
“I’m yours, baby, do whatever you want.” 
Sunghoon poses for your photos, smiling sweetly in some and sniffing the bouquet appreciatively with closed eyes for others. He’s glowing and he’s beautiful and your heart triples in size while taking picture after picture until your phone tells you it has ten percent. 
“Thank you, YN,” he says. “I’ve never gotten flowers before, I love them.” His arms settle around your waist, lips pressing against yours before you have the chance to respond. 
You try anyway, mumbling against his lips that you love him. In response, Sunghoon grins, but the feeling of his cock growing hard against you is distracting, a lust-coated thorn in the side of the butterflies fluttering in your stomach. With locked lips and uncertain steps, the two of you bump into corners and trip over your own feet, stumbling to his room and parting only to tear his hoodie over his head.
Breathless, you pull away, eyes trailing over him and picking up on everything, from the tremble in his hands to the lust-addled worry in his eyes. He’s nervous, you think—though it escapes you, the last word coming out like a question.
Sunghoon scoffs, his hands resting on your waist under your shirt, skin clammy against yours. “Of course, I’m nervous.” 
“You don’t have to be.”
“I just want to be good for you.” 
“Don’t worry about that, let me take care of you, Hoon.” Your palms drag up his torso — firm abs through soft cotton, defined chest over racing heart — to rest on his shoulders. “Sit,” you say when he nods. 
He gulps, taking a seat on the end of his bed under your gentle push, eyes widening when you sink to your knees between his legs and reach for his drawstring, pulling the ends to untie the knot. 
“Wait,” Sunghoon says, breathless, scrunching up his face and dropping his head. “Let me calm down, baby. At this rate, I’ll come just seeing your hand on it.” 
You giggle, resting your head on his thigh and wrapping the drawstring around your finger.
“I’m serious, YN,” he mumbles, laughing as he takes his vest off. “I need a minute.” 
Sunghoon’s eyes are pressed shut as he tries to collect himself, lips pouty and kiss-bitten, slightly parted with ragged breaths slipping out. You wait patiently for him. He’s so pretty like this, with the crease in his brow and the pretty pink flush dusting his cheeks as his chest rises and falls. You can’t help but smile, leaning into his touch when his hand rests on top of your head, his blunt nails grazing your scalp. After a while, he seems more at ease, his eyes finding yours and he smiles shyly, telling you he’s ready now and lifting his hips from the bed to let you pull his sweats and underwear down. 
Free from the constraints of fabric, his cock slaps his stomach with a wet sound as the tip meets his skin, leaving a pearlescent streak over his abs. The sight makes your mouth water and you can’t look away. “Pretty,” you whisper.
Wrapping a hand under his tip, you swipe it with your thumb, taking time to memorise the flutter of his eyelids, the bobbing of his Adam’s apple, and the soft sigh he lets out. You stroke him slowly, liking the way his breath picks up as his brows knit together before you take him in your mouth. It’s a tight fit but you do your best, spurred on by the way he tugs at your hair and stutters through a holy fuck as you take as much of him as you can. 
Sunghoon goes silent, only squirming when you use your hand to stroke him near his base. Self-conscious about his lack of vocal affirmation, you look up at him through your lashes, and the pure bliss on his face is unbearably attractive. His eyes are rolled back under furrowed brows, his mouth hanging open as he throws his head back.
“Am I doing okay?” you ask, using the moment to catch your breath.
He nods, inhaling shakily and screwing his eyes shut while his hips buck up into your fist. “I’m.. You’re doing such a good job, baby, so good.”
Satisfaction courses through you from the praise, a high that dulls the ache in your jaw. Still watching him, you massage his balls in your palm, pressing open-mouthed kisses to his tip when he whines. You tongue at his slit until he thrusts back into your mouth, tip hitting your throat, and he gasps when you gag, his arm coming up to cover his eyes. A belated apology slips from his lips, mumbled as he strokes your hair with a shaking hand and goes quiet again. When you speed up, his breath stutters, the muscles in his thighs contracting around your head as you suck and lick and drool on his cock. 
A moan of your name, and his hand holding your hand down, are the only warnings you get before Sunghoon comes, spilling his load right down your throat. Whining, his hips buck up against your face, pushing further and further until he falls back onto the mattress.
Your throat is hoarse and aches while you use the back of your hand to wipe at your lips, enjoying what’s left of his taste on your tongue. Deep red tints his neck and chest, a pretty flush gleaming under the sheen of sweat on his skin. He’s mesmerising, as he tries for air through swollen lips and looks up at you through squinted eyes. He reaches for you, cute grabby hands tugging your shirt and pulling you down so you’re lying next to him with your head on his chest. 
“You’re amazing, baby, so good for me,” Sunghoon whispers, eyes fluttering shut as you drag your nails over his torso, feeling the subtle heave of the slick, sculpted muscle over his stomach and chest. 
Pride heats your chest, satisfaction rolling over you like a wave. “Really?”
He hums in affirmation, nodding his head. 
“You were so quiet, I couldn’t really tell,” you add, hungry for more praise. 
“The walls are so thin in here, I just got used to being quiet,” Sunghoon says, frowning. Hand meeting your chin, he tips your head up towards him, pressing a soft kiss to your lips and mumbling, “I’m sorry. You were perfect, I swear.” 
It’s a sweet kiss. Until lips move harder and hands get lower, desperate as he thumbs the top of your leggings, palm unmoving but a dangerous heat blooms in your stomach anyway.
“Can I..” Sunghoon pinches you softly through the material, unsure eyes boring deep into yours. 
You nod. “You can.” 
Slipping under your waistband, his fingers skate across your skin dipping between your thighs. He grazes your slit, satisfaction clear in the groan he lets out as he feels the wetness there, pulling it over the length of your slit to cover your clit. Your breath hitches, a strangled gasp, pleasure and surprise meeting in your throat under the pressure of his thumb on your clit, the gentle sting of his finger pushing into you. 
What Sunghoon lacks in experience, he makes up for with the sheer length and thickness of his fingers. It’s almost jarring, it’s enough to force your eyes closed and bring a sigh rumbling out of you, ache and relief settling between your legs, where he curls a finger against your walls and drags slow circles over your clit. 
“Can you take these off, baby?” he asks, hand away to touch your leggings. 
You don’t waste a second, sitting up to pull them off, throwing them and your underwear across the room. Sunghoon licks his lips, tugging at the hem of your shirt. 
“And this? If you want..” 
You nod, pulling it off immediately to let it join the rest of your clothes in a heap on the floor. The way he gulps is a confidence boost, his dilated pupils taking in every inch of your body, though his gaze always pulls back to your bra—white and lacy, thin enough for your nipples to push through the fabric and Sunghoon can’t seem to get enough, though he waits until you’re lying down again to touch you. 
Sunghoon props himself up on his elbow, leaning over you. “You’re beautiful,” he whispers, dragging a finger over the lace at the top of your bra, toying with the material and the little bow sitting between your breasts. His eyes flick up to meet yours. “So beautiful,” he repeats. 
Hiding your face in his chest, you mumble, “Thank you,” into his skin while trying to ignore the heat spreading over your body wherever he touches you. His hand trails from your arm to your waist, resting on your hips to slip over your ass for a beat, where he grabs and squeezes the flesh there before coming back around to slot between your legs—you lift one of them, resting it over his body, and he’s smiling sweetly when you look up at him.
Sunghoon’s movements are unchanging, though the sensation is heightened by the unbridled desire in his lidded eyes that urges white heat to lick over every inch of your skin—this time he pushes two fingers into you.
It doesn’t get better than this, you think. But it does, quickly. 
Leaning over you, his eyes flick across your face, one feature at a time as he chews on his lip. Reaching up, you push some of his hair from his face, holding it back and saying, “Relax, baby.” 
“Don’t want to hurt you.”
Moving your hand, you blink when his hair flops back over his forehead, tickling your eyelashes. His eyes are focused now, staring straight down into yours, want and worry flashing behind them. 
“You won’t, I promise,” you say, locking your pinky with his, feeling relieved when he smiles.
Sunghoon pushes in slowly, his name slipping from your lips when he exhales shakily, head falling forward. The sting, the pleasure, make it hard to breathe, molten desire taking hold of your lungs as he carves out a place for himself as far as you’ll take him, all the way to the hilt as slow as he can manage. 
A moan tears out of him, lewd and whiny as his hair tickles your collarbone, head falling into the crook of your neck. His skin is hot and damp against yours, his breath burning your shoulder as he tries to calm down. It’s difficult to register much else, tethered only by the sound of his voice when he asks, “Am I hurting you?” 
“Hoon,” you whisper. 
“Can you look at me, baby?” He lifts his head, resting a hand on your cheek. You blink your eyes open, gaze locking with his, where concern pushes through his desire. “Am I hurting you?” he asks again. “Are you okay?” 
You nod. “I’m okay, just..” You sigh. “Full. Need a minute.” 
Sunghoon kisses you, lips moving gently with yours, passing breathy whines between your mouths until you feel yourself relaxing. Pulling his plush bottom lip between yours, you suck on it, nodding. “Want you to move, baby,” you mumble. 
He scans your face, eyes meeting yours as he pulls his hips back. He’s slow, so slow with his thrusts that your belly turns with want, your fingernails sink into the taut skin of his back, and jagged sobs fall out of you with each drag of his cock along your walls. 
Everywhere his skin touches yours is set ablaze with scorching heat, goosebumps pushing past the surface as his breath fans your neck and his sharp teeth graze your skin. He bites hard enough to sting, and you wince as his tongue flicks over your bitten flesh to soothe you.
You were so worked up earlier, writhing against the sheets and coming undone in his palm, so bliss quickly pushes through the ache between your legs. “Good, Hoon, feels so good,” you manage, struggling to convey how perfect it is.
“Just want to make you feel good.” His words melt into each other, vowels soft and elongated as they curl around each other. He’s working up a steady rhythm, his tip consistently nudging you where you need it—the spot that makes the room blur around you. “That’s all I want.” 
Before long, the knot in your stomach pulls you up from the mattress, arching your back towards the ceiling. Mouth to mouth, chest to chest—it’s the closest you’ve ever felt to someone else, the closest you’ve ever been. The thought alone knocks the wind out of you, and his persistent whining does nothing to help.
Your want and adoration for Sunghoon run bone-deep, inching up your spine and creeping over your shoulders, intertwined with an all-consuming pleasure that turns the heat in your stomach molten as a shudder zips through you. Even though you can’t find the words to let him know, he lifts your hips from the bed to fuck you deeper, harder, into the mattress until shaky orgasms pull both of you under. 
You let him fall into you, fingers curling around his hair, whispering I love you into the skin of his neck as he comes, most of his weight on top of you while you catch your breath, relishing in the fullness you feel as the last waves of your high pull back. You stay like this for as long as he needs, his head coming up from the crook of your neck to smile at you before pressing his lips to yours. A sleepy haze fills the room around you, tongue swiping tongue as you giggle happily into his mouth. 
After a while, he gets up, tying the condom to throw it away and comes back with his shirt. He uses it to clean up—gentle between your legs, pressing kisses to your calves while he does. Sunghoon’s tenderness wraps around your heart, and love clouds your vision, forming a blurry trail that follows all of his movements, glowing like something from a dream, ethereal, an apparition. 
The bed dips beside you, his arms around you, pulling you in so his chin rests on your head. You push your cheek into his chest, hoping the two of you will meld into one—the thought makes you warm all over, a fuzziness that reaches every part of your body while he presses kisses into your hair, rubbing your back. 
“I love you,” he says, voice as soft as the rest of him. “I’m glad I exist.”
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mama park: Hi lovely 😍 missing you lots, wondering when you’ll be home for Xmas………..love ma
Sunghoon stirs, nose scrunching as he snores softly into the quiet of a winter morning. His chest rises and falls steadily under your head and he doesn’t move when you sit up. The lamp on his desk is still on — neither of you could be bothered getting up to turn it off last night — and under its dim glow, you admire him. Perfect lips gently curved—long lashes kissing the skin under his eyes. 
Love hits you from all angles, warmth all over from head to toe despite the chill in Sunghoon’s room. You can’t help but grin, leaning up to nose along the underside of his chin, his natural scent so soft yet dizzying as you nuzzle into him. He stirs again, turning his head this way and that before resting, you feel a bit bad, deciding to leave him be and text his mum back. 
you: hi mum !!! missing you sooooooo much :((( will be home asap
mama park: BTW Sunghoon told me everything. I raised such good actors LOL make sure he looks after you and keeps you happy!
you: i’m so sorry we lied to you..
you: but i’m really happy with him and he loves me a lot
you: i love him so much .. never been so sure of anyone in my life
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© zreamy (2023), all rights reserved. do not repost, translate, or plagiarise my work. do let my know your thoughts !
permanent taglist: @asahicore
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amirasainz · 4 months ago
Note
Can you do reader is Landos sister and she’s his whole world but she’s away at school and she surprises lando at a race?
Of course!!! I hope you like this.
Send me some requests and enjoy reading
-XoXo
Little Norris
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It was no secret within the paddock that Lando Norris’ favorite person in the entire world was his younger sister, YN. No matter the context—be it interviews, casual conversations, or even playful banter with other drivers—Lando always found a way to bring her up.
The paddock had grown accustomed to hearing him wistfully complain about how much he missed her, and how unfair it was that she was stuck at school, unable to attend the races.
Sadly, this wasn’t just an exaggerated tale; YN was enrolled in St. Paul’s Girls’ School, a prestigious all-girls school in London, where students could only visit their families during weekends and holidays.
However, YN’s academic commitments were so demanding that even those weekends were usually spent buried in books, only leaving the school for holiday visits. Lando’s ever-busy Formula 1 schedule certainly didn’t make things any easier.
So, it came as no surprise to Oscar when Lando began lamenting once again about how much he missed his baby sister.
“I just don’t get why she still has to go to school. It’s miles away, and she can’t even come home on the weekends,” Lando groaned, his expression a mix of frustration and longing. “The last time I saw her was in February, Oscar. FEBRUARY. Can you believe that?”
Oscar, who had heard variations of this complaint countless times before, only raised an eyebrow and responded with a calm, “Really?” knowing full well that Lando wasn’t done yet.
“And to top it off,” Lando continued, his voice rising in exasperation, “I tried calling her yesterday. And instead of picking up, she sent me to voicemail. Voicemail, Oscar! Why would she do that? Do you think she’s mad at me? Oh no, what if Mum finally told her I was the one who ate the last cupcake at Christmas? She’ll never forgive me!”
Oscar couldn’t help but chuckle at Lando’s melodramatic worry, but the constant whining had begun to wear on him. Finally, he placed both hands on Lando’s shoulders, spinning him around to face him directly.
“Lando, relax. I’m pretty sure your mum didn’t tell her about the cupcake incident,” Oscar said, trying to suppress a smile. “She’s probably just busy studying. You know how much school means to her.”
Before Lando could cut him off with another complaint, Oscar pressed on. “Look, we all know how much you adore YN, and you’d probably move mountains to keep her by your side. But you’ve got to understand—she enjoys school. She loves hanging out with her friends, and she’s passionate about her classes. She’s smart, Lando, and she adores you just as much as you adore her. So don’t go saying silly things like this. You know it would make her feel bad.”
Lando let out a deep sigh, the usual playful glint in his eyes dulled by a hint of sadness. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he mumbled, his pout still intact as he was called away by one of the McLaren mechanics.
He gave Oscar a grateful, albeit slightly sheepish, smile before walking off towards the garage.
Oscar watched his teammate disappear into the distance, and once Lando was far enough away, he exhaled deeply, the weight of the secret he’d been holding onto starting to lift. No one had ever told him that lying—even for a good cause—could be so exhausting.
Because, of course, Oscar hadn’t been entirely honest. He was well aware of just how much Lando missed his sister. In fact, he’d spent weeks meticulously planning a surprise that would, if all went smoothly, bring YN right to Lando’s side.
After countless emails, flight arrangements, and some help from McLaren’s logistics team, Oscar had managed to fly 17-year-old YN out to Azerbaijan for the next Grand Prix.
The plan was to keep her arrival under wraps until after qualifying, ensuring Lando could focus on the race without the overwhelming distraction of knowing his favorite person was already there. The last thing anyone wanted was for him to lose focus during such a crucial part of the weekend.
While Lando busied himself with free practice sessions, YN was out exploring the local markets with some of the McLaren team’s family members. She was set to return to the paddock just as Q1 began, hidden away in the garage until the perfect moment.
Oscar had envisioned Lando’s face lighting up with pure joy, his usual calm demeanor shattered by the surprise.
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
But things didn’t go quite as planned.
Qualifying that day turned out to be a disaster for Lando. From the very first lap, nothing seemed to go right. He struggled with the car’s balance, fought the understeer in nearly every corner, and couldn’t extract the pace he needed. Sector after sector, frustration built. The radio was filled with agitated comments, and by the end of Q1, he had been knocked out of qualifying altogether, missing the cutoff for Q2 by mere fractions of a second.
When he climbed out of the car, his body language said it all. Lando was livid—frustrated with the car, with himself, and with the result.
His helmet visor remained down longer than usual, as if he wanted to hide his disappointment from the world.
His walk back to the garage was slow, shoulders slumped, as mechanics and engineers exchanged worried glances but kept their distance. No one dared say a word.
Once inside the team’s motorhome, Lando stormed off to his driver’s room, eager for a moment alone. The air in the narrow hallway was thick with tension, and Oscar watched him go as his teammate finally ripped of his helmet, his heart sinking.
He knew Lando was hard on himself, but he also knew what awaited him on the other side of that door.
Lando opened the door to his driver’s room with a frustrated push, expecting to collapse onto the couch and stew in his disappointment. But as soon as he stepped inside, his breath caught in his throat. Standing in the middle of the room, a small, warm smile on her face, was YN.
“Surprise,” she said softly, her eyes twinkling as she took in her brother’s shocked expression.
For a split second, Lando didn’t move. He just stood there, staring at her, as if his brain needed a moment to catch up with what his eyes were seeing. Then, suddenly, it all hit him at once—the weeks of missing her, the frustration of the race weekend, the love he felt for his little sister—and his eyes immediately filled with tears.
“YN...” His voice cracked as he whispered her name.
Without another word, Lando rushed forward and pulled YN into a tight hug, burying his face into her shoulder as if he were afraid she might vanish if he let go.
His arms wrapped around her protectively, squeezing her like a lifeline. YN, used to Lando’s emotional side, simply hugged him back, gently running a hand through his hair.
“I missed you so much,” Lando mumbled into her shoulder, his voice muffled but thick with emotion. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
“I missed you too, Lan,” YN whispered, a soft laugh escaping her. “Oscar helped organize it. He said you’ve been whining about me non-stop.”
Lando laughed, a watery chuckle escaping him as he finally pulled back to look at her, his hands still resting on her shoulders. His eyes were red and glassy, but his smile was the brightest it had been in weeks.
“You have no idea how much better this makes everything,” he said, his voice still shaky with emotion. “I had the worst qualifying. But... you're here now.”
YN smiled at him, brushing a tear from his cheek. “I’m sorry I missed qualifying, but I’m here for the race tomorrow. We’ll celebrate then, okay?”
Lando nodded, pulling her back into another tight hug, resting his chin on top of her head. “I don’t care about the race right now,” he muttered, his voice soft. “I’m just happy you’re here.”
For the next few minutes, they simply stayed like that, wrapped up in each other, the world outside forgotten.
Lando’s earlier frustrations seemed to evaporate, replaced by a warmth that only YN could bring him. He felt calmer, more grounded, like a weight had been lifted from his chest.
Eventually, there was a knock on the door, and Oscar poked his head in with a cheeky grin. “You okay in here? Thought I’d check in before I’m accused of kidnapping your sister.”
Lando turned around, still holding YN close, and flashed Oscar a grateful smile. “Mate, I don’t even know what to say. You’ve made my year.”
Oscar laughed, stepping into the room. “I figured you could use a pick-me-up. I was getting tired of the constant whining.”
Lando rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips. “Okay, okay, I get it.”
Suddenly, Lando’s mood shifted entirely, the disappointment from qualifying now a distant memory.
His eyes sparkled with excitement. “Right, we need to introduce you to everyone!” He glanced down at YN, who chuckled in response.
“I’ve already met some of them,” she teased, “but I’m sure they’ll appreciate your grand tour.”
“Trust me, it’s different when I introduce you,” Lando said proudly, his arm slung around her shoulders. He led her out of the room, a new energy in his step as if the earlier qualifying session had never even
With his little sister by his side, the world already looked a lot brighter than it did that morning.
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livinggxd3adgirl · 7 days ago
Text
ex!sukuna drunk calling you to come get him from the bar bla bla bla
“Sukuna, you weigh about 3 times as much as me. I cannot princess carry you up the apartment stairs.” As your words registered in Sukuna, he pouted like a young child. You told yourself that it didn’t matter how many times he called or texted you, but you would absolutely not answer. Or so you thought
This particular night, he called you 47 times. Usually, he only called twice until he got the hint and left you alone for the night until texting you the next morning. The first 2 days after you broke up with him, he showed up to your apartment begging you to open the door. You were doing pretty good at ignoring him and moving on in life. Well, until tonight.
“I’m not going to be able to get up there angel” Sukunas slurred words rang throughout the empty stairwell. Reminiscent of the multiple times you had done this during your relationship.
“You have done it before cmon” you said while wrapping his arm around your shoulder to help balance him. As you both made the trek up the stairs, you can feel Sukuna staring into your cheek. If it wasn’t for the intense smell of alcohol you would have thought the flush on his face is from an extremely strenuous workout.
“Why did you answer my call this time?” Even when Sukuna was drunk, he knew how to make things awkward.
“You called me a million-“
“47 times. You picked up on the 48th call”
you really wished you could push him back down the stairs right now. Sukuna decided that he wanted a break from walking, so he simply sat down without warning, pulling you down next to him. His arm is still wrapped around you, but slowly lowering from your shoulder down to your waist.
“Imma ask again. Why did you answer this time?” His voice was suddenly clear devoid of any slurring or confusion. His eyes trained onto you as you turned your head to look into his eyes. You made brief eye contact before looking down. A sigh escaped your lips as you thought about all the times you and Sukuna sat in the stairwell laughing and smoking.
“I answered because I was worried.” Your voice shook as you spoke. Though you did ignore him, your heart couldn’t help but miss him. You and Sukuna have been together since you were angsty tweens. though it didn’t start as a relationship, you two have still known each other for so long that completely cutting him off hurts. You hear the sound of Sukuna shuffling in his pockets.
“Mmm you sure you ain’t miss me?” His voice is full of playful teasing. turning back to his face, you see that now he has a cigarette in his mouth and a lighter in his hand. His lighter had the lighter sleeve you had made for him in high school when he first started smoking. The sleeve was made of metal and had multiple heart engravings around it. One big heart in the middle with you and Sukunas initials inside of it.
“You still have that?” You plucked the lighter from his hands as you inspected the sleeve.
“course I do angel… did ya think I would just throw it away?”
“I really did to be honest” your heart squeezed and contorted as your fingers ran over the engravings. The burn of tears threatened to spill out as all the memories of you two came through your mind. Sukuna tapped your hand before speaking.
“Spark me up beautiful” his smirk apparent on his face. You raise the lighter up to the cigarette in his mouth before the flicker of fire illuminates his face. His eyes stare deep into your soul as the cigarette lit. Sukuna could never and would never openly talk about his feelings for you. His way of communicating his love for you was through physical touch and the look in his eyes. He took a small drag of his cigarette before slowly blowing the smoke into your face. He had done this so many times that you had grown used to it.
“ugh the smell still bothers me” You waved a hand to try and get the smoke out of your nostrils.
“I know it does” He said while chuckling. This moment made you feel completely at peace, and you hated it. You broke up with Sukuna, and now here you are seemingly back in his arms, lighting his cigarette and resisting the urge to kiss him. The feeling of Sukunas' large and calloused hand on your cheek brought you back to reality.
“I love you angel.. so why don’t you just stop being so damn stubborn and come back home yea?”
MADE BY LIVINGGXD3ADGIRL
hey guys… I’m back from my hiatus with a nice fic for yalllll likes reblogs and comments are appreciated! Asks are also open! 💕
p.s lmk if u would like to see a second part!
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dr-spencer-reids-queen · 1 month ago
Text
Tipping Point
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader
Word Count: ~1.4k
Warnings: sexual tension, implied smut
Summary: Your aunt signs you up for shooting lessons with Spencer Reid. You get more than you bargained for when you go.
Square Filled: alex blake (2022) for @spencerreidbingo
Author’s Note: any and all comments are greatly appreciated <3
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x
Not having a job is really kicking your ass. All you do is stay at home and flip through magazines and shows you’ve already watched. Since your parents died, your aunt has taken you under her wing. The housing and renting market is a joke right now, so you’re living with her until you can go to school. You want to go into her field since you look up to her so much, but the school year doesn’t start for another three months.
So, you’re just trying to pass the time by reading magazines and watching shit reality shows.
Aunt Alex walks downstairs after getting ready for work, and she goes to the kitchen where the full pot of coffee you brewed is waiting for her.
“So, what do you have planned for today?” she asks.
“Well, at ten, I want to cure diseases, and at two, I plan on writing a thesis on String Theory. Why? Do you have something planned? I can see if I can fit you in,” you say sarcastically.
“You’re so funny,” she rolls her eyes playfully. “There’s actually something I want you to do for me.”
“What’s up?”
“I signed you up for shooting lessons. One of my coworkers is teaching the class, and he knows you’re coming. Your appointment is at two.”
You resist the urge to roll your eyes. She’s been nagging you to take shooting lessons ever since you moved in with her.
“Aunt Alex…”
“Y/N, listen, your mother wasn’t prepared and look where it got her. I’m not letting the same thing happen to you.”
She’s right. Your father died shortly after you were born so your mom was the protector. There was an invasion one night and she wasn’t able to protect herself against the intruder. She died fighting to save you. Alex sees evil every single day, and it would break her heart if you weren't prepared for the worst.
“Fine, I’ll go,” you sigh.
“Good. It’s at two. Don’t be late.”
“I won’t.”
The morning is filled with reality TV, and the early afternoon is when you prepare to go to this lesson. What should you wear? A dress might be too much so you pick out a nice pair of jeans and a loose shirt. Once ready, you leave the house and head over to the shooting range. You’re not sure who from her team is going to be teaching you. You’ve never met them but you do know them by name. David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Aaron Hotchner, and Spencer Reid. You don’t think Rossi or Hotch will teach you so it has to be either Derek or Spencer.
The shooting range is empty, probably due to Alex’s influence. She wanted whoever is teaching it to focus on you the whole time.
“Hello? Anyone here?”
“In the back!”
You walk to the back and see a tall and slender man putting away supplies. From Penelope’s use of the phrase “Chocolate Thunder” (thanks to Aunt Alex repeating it several times), you know this is Spencer Reid. Spencer turns and you’re immediately floored by how attractive he is. You’ve met your fair share of men and have hooked up with more than one of them, but Spencer is on a whole other level.
This is a man right here. You’re into older men, too. You’re not sure how old he is but he can’t be more than thirty-five.
He walks over to you with a smile. “Hi, I’m Spencer Reid. Alex said you were coming over.” No words are coming out so you just nod instead. “Have you ever shot a gun before?” Again, you can only shake your head. “Don’t worry, I’ll teach you.”
He takes you over to the area where you shoot and shows an array of guns on the table next to it. He picks up the smaller one and hands it over to you.
“Wow, this is heavier than I thought it was going to be,” you chuckle when you grab it.
“Yeah, don’t let that scare you. This is a very easy gun to use. First, safety.”
Spencer takes the gun from you and puts it on the table before grabbing a pair of earmuffs and safety glasses. You look up at him as he slides the earmuffs over your ears, and he looks into your eyes. He briefly looks down at your lips but it was so quick that you could have been imagining it.
“Does that fit well?”
Even through the earmuffs, his voice is like honey. You nod and he moves onto the glasses. He slides them on despite you having full capabilities of doing this yourself. You look down and the glasses slide off your face entirely, and you chuckle shyly. Both you and Spencer lean down to pick it up, and your hand bumps against his.
It was just a bump but that sends shockwaves through your body. Based on how Spencer is looking at you, you know he felt the same. This is different than any fling you had. You’ve never felt this type of attraction toward another man.
“Sorry,” you whisper.
“It’s okay.” He grabs the glasses. “Let me get another pair.” Spencer leaves and returns with a smaller pair. “Are those okay?”
“Better,” you smile.
“Okay, take the gun and turn the safety off.” You pick up the gun and flip the little switch. Spencer steps closer to you, so close that you can feel his body heat behind you. Butterflies flutter in your stomach but you try to ignore them. “Here, hold it like this.”
He reaches around you and fixes the way you hold the gun. He has to press himself closer to your back, and you silently thank Aunt Alex for setting this up for you.
“Am I holding it right?” you ask.
“Yes.”
His breath is hot against your neck, and you swear you can feel your panties dampening a little bit.
“Now what?”
“Shoot.” You aim at the target in front of you and shoot three times, all of the bullets not hitting the target but on the paper outside of it. “Okay, next time, don’t close one eye. That actually doesn’t help.”
“Okay,” you chuckle. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Try again. This time, try to aim for the heart.”
You aim at the target but freeze when you feel Spencer’s hand sliding up your arms and down to your waist. How can you think about this when all you can think about is his hands on your body? You shoot the target twice, both of the bullets hitting the target. However, one hit his leg and the other hit his hand.
“Better?”
“Yeah, a bit. Are you sure you’ve never shot a gun before?”
“Never.”
“For a first-timer, you’re doing a lot better than other newbies.”
“Thanks,” you smile. “I just have a really great teacher.”
Spencer spends the next thirty minutes teaching you how to shoot multiple different guns. By the time you’re done, the sexual tension is high. Spencer steps back from you and you regret not failing more just so you can feel his body against yours.
“Okay, I think that’s enough for today. I do think you might benefit from one more lesson. Are you free next week?”
“Yes,” you say too quickly. “I mean, I can make that work. Just let me know.”
“Great.”
Spencer removes your glasses and then your earmuffs while staring into your eyes the whole time. The tension between you two is like a boiling pot of water. It’s going to overflow any second now, and you can’t wait to see what will happen when he snaps. He looks down at your lips and you lick them slowly, and that seems to be the tipping point.
He grabs your waist and pulls you into him before slamming his lips on yours. You immediately wrap your arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. He hooks his hands under your thighs and lifts you up with ease, setting you on the small table so you’re up to his height. Spencer slides his tongue along your bottom lip, but he kisses his way down your jaw to your neck instead of licking inside your mouth.
“Alex is going to kill me,” he mutters between kisses.
“What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her,” you moan.
Spencer pulls back and kisses you once again. If you knew this was waiting for you, you would have taken lessons a lot sooner.
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iluvmattsbeard · 9 months ago
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Wet Dreamz (m.s)
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master list
matt sturniolo x reader
warnings: smut and swearing
preview: matt and you were partners for a project. he unexpectedly started having sinful dreams about you, suddenly craving you ever since. one thing nobody knew; he was a virgin.
“y/n, you will be partnered with Matt.” the teacher says trying to grab your attention. “y/n? are you listening?” you snap out of your thoughts and look at him. “huh?” you ask. “you’re partnered with Matt for this project.” he replies with an unamused look. you look around before you look back at him. “who’s that?” you ask.
he lets out a sigh before speaking, “Matt raise your hand.” you look around again as you catch the eyes of a brown haired boy. you weren’t mad about it. he looked decent.
you get up and walk to where he was sitting. “next time y/n, i expect you to be paying attention. this project will effect your grade drastically if you do poorly.” you hear the teacher say looking at you. all you do is nod. you were barely passing the class.
Matt’s POV
i got paired with y/n. she didn’t even know who i was. i knew of her because she would get in trouble constantly due to her lack of focus. as she came to sit next to me, we clicked right away. we both dreaded school, but who doesn’t? as much as i didn’t like school, i still paid attention, unlike her, so i had to explain the whole point of the project to her.
we exchanged numbers after class so that we could talk about when we could meet up to work on it. we only had two weeks to complete it. i knew i had to stand on top of it because i know she won’t.
a few days pass, me and y/n still working on the project together, with us having to meet at lunch. i got to know a little bit more about her. she was pretty cool to talk to. we even started texting without talking about the project itself. so when this is done, it’d be cool to hang with her.
meeting during lunch really wasn’t a good idea. there was too much distractions. so i took the opportunity to invite her over to my place after school. she agreed and i ended up driving her with me once the final bell rang.
End of Matt’s POV
you and Matt were in his room as you sat on the floor. you were reading over some information from the website the teacher recommended and you were feeling overwhelmed. “all of this is hurting my head.” you say laying back on the floor. Matt lets out a small laugh as he responds, “me too. i don’t get how this will be beneficial in the future.” you shot up looking at him, “exactly! school is so bullshit to me. they don’t even teach real world shit.” you say sighing. “i agree. but i didn’t put up with almost 12 years of school just to fail.” he says. you groan, “right. it would be wasteful. i’m pretty sure you don’t have anything to worry about. my grades are literally on the edge of failing.” “well, i could help you.” he suggests. all you do is let out a laugh, “trust me, teaching me is hard.”
“i’ve been teaching you these past days. trust me i know.” Matt responds as you both let out a laugh. “it’s hot in here.” you say taking off your hoodie, pulling down your shirt as it lifted a bit. Matt looks at you as he catches a glimpse of your cleavage. he looks away quickly, clearing his throat. where has all of that been hiding? he wonders. “well let’s continue working on this.” he says trying to move past it. all you do is nod as you lay on your stomach continuously reading.
when you weren’t paying attention, Matt would stare at you slightly. he would stare at the way your tits were pressed against the floor, thinking how perfect they were.
after a few hours, Matt takes you home. “thank you for the ride.” you say smiling, slinging your backpack on one shoulder. “yeah of course” he replies. you open the door stepping out, but as you get up, your hoodie raises slightly revealing your thong peeking out above your jeans slightly. Matt catches a glimpse turning red. you shut the door and walk away. he sits there in his car for a bit as he gulps before driving away.
Matt arrives home tidying his room before going to bed. he picks up one of his notebooks as he sees a sticky note on it reading, ‘thank you for dealing with me as a partner - Y/N’.
he smiles at the note as he puts it down on his bed side table, getting into bed. as he lays there, he couldn’t help but think about what his eyes caught from you earlier. your cleavage and your thong. he couldn’t stop thinking about it. “Matt stop that.” he whispers to himself before shutting his eyes going to sleep.
Matt’s dream POV
you and Matt were sitting on your bed working on the project. Matt wasn’t paying attention to you as much and you were bothered by it. you took matters into your hands and you closed the book he was studying. you got on top of him, sitting on his lap as he gets caught off guard. you pull him into a passionate kiss and next thing you knew, you were under the covers tangled together naked.
End of Matt’s dream
Matt’s POV
i woke up sitting up quickly with my breathing uneven. what was that?! my heart was racing. did i just have a wet dream?!
i pulled up the covers to see a wet stain on top of the crotch of my sweats. what the fuck. this has never happened before. with y/n?! why? because of what i saw yesterday? i never even had sex before. how could i have easily dreamed of it? i gulp before getting up. i head to the bathroom to clean myself. i really can’t believe that just happened. now all i could do is replay it in my head. i groan at the thought.
after i got ready, i headed straight to school. on the drive there, i still couldn’t stop replaying everything that happened in my dream. even if i tried to distract myself, it wouldn’t go away. i needed it bad.
End of Matt’s POV
you and Matt were in class as you tried to tell him a story. all he was doing was nodding and staying quiet. “Matt? are you okay?” you question. he shakes his head before speaking, “yeah- yeah i’m good. sorry.” you give him a questionable look as you reply, “well you weren’t really paying attention as i spoke.” you laugh a bit. “oh i was.” he says with a nervous smile. “yeah okay.” you say turning your body straight, pretending to pay attention to the teacher.
Matt does the same as he groans quietly to himself. he didn’t know if he should tell you or not about what he imagined. he decided to shrug it off.
it was the end of the day again as you both end up at Matt’s house. you were standing up as you rehearsed your lines on what to say for the presentation. Matt just sat there looking lost. “Matt seriously what is wrong? i can’t do this without you, you know?” you say frustrated. “i’m sorry. i’ve just been having a hard time.” he responds scratching the back of his neck. “well we really need to focus on this. if you need to get something off your chest, do it now so we can continue.” you say. Matt hesitates before speaking, “okay well i sort of had an odd dream last night.” you look at him confused. “okay?” you reply. “it wasn’t a normal dream.” he continues.
“what? were you like having sex or something?” you ask jokingly with a laugh. but he just sits there staying silent with a blank face. “oh. oh! you did!” you exclaim. “who was it about?” asking with curiosity. “some random girl from class.” he says lying through his teeth. “so what’s the big deal?” you ask. “this your first time having a wet dream?” all he does is nod. you widen your eyes, “really? that’s new. i would’ve thought you were like every other guy constantly thinking about sex.” letting out a laugh. “why is it bothering you so much?”
“because, it’s weird. especially with this specific girl.” he responds. you raise an eyebrow before asking a question, “have you ever had sex before?” the question takes Matt by surprise as he responds quickly, “of course i have!” he lies. you let out a laugh. “okay! sorry! well then you shouldn’t be so weirded out. now come on. lets focus.” replying to him.
it still was eating him in the inside.
·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·
after the weeks flew by, you and Matt got an ‘A’ for your presentation. you decided to celebrate by treating Matt with fast food. you both sat on his bed eating. “thank you for being such a good partner.” you say with a smile taking a bite from your burger. “no, thank you.” he replies. you couldn’t help but notice he still was acting strange these past days. “Matt don’t tell me you’re still on about the sex dream.” you ask wiping your hands with a napkin. “you should just shoot your shot already since it’s eating you up. maybe she’ll feel the same.” he shakes his head, “i wouldn’t know how to approach her. plus, that’s weird. i had a sex dream about her and what? i just walk up to her and tell her that? that's creepy.” he replies. you laugh at his response. “well not quite but, i don’t like how you’re acting so off.” you say taking another bite.
Matt sighs as he shakes his head, “just forget it y/n. i’m fine.” you stop in your place as you shake your head. “okay that’s it.” placing the unfinished food on his side table. you wipe your mouth with a napkin as you look at him. it was silent for a bit until you spoke up, “do you want to kiss me?” you blurt out. Matt’s eyes widen. “what?” he asks.
Matt’s POV
i hesitated for a bit. “to help distract you.” she says with a small laugh. "uh- uh yeah sure." I say hesitantly. i mean i couldn’t pass up on the opportunity. i scoot closer to her. i’ve only ever kissed one other person and i don’t think it was good so maybe this will be different. i can hear my heart pounding out of my chest. i put my hand on her cheek as i lean in and kiss her softly. she scoots closer without breaking the kiss, putting her hands on my shoulders.
to her she might think this is just a distraction but, little did she know my dream was about her. we continue to kiss as she swings her leg around to straddle me. i put my hands on her waist as the kisses get heavier. i could feel myself get hard beneath her and i could tell she notices. i pull away from embarrassment, “i’m so sorry.” i say. all she does is smile and respond with, “it’s okay.” pulling me into another kiss. i could feel her start to grind against my clothed dick. i let out a small groan from the feeling. i pull away as i lay her down gently. “d-do you want to do this?” i say nervously but, i couldn’t expose the fact this would be my first. she nods as she kisses me again. she takes off my shirt as i do the same for her. i unbutton my jeans and pull them off leaving me in my boxers as she does the same with her pants leaving her in her under garments. i gulp looking at her body. come on Matt play it cool. we kiss again as she rubs my dick through my boxers. i really hope i’m big enough.
i reach into my drawer as i pull out a condom. i bought a box just in case i were to lose it. which i am now, so it was good preparation. i open rip off the deal as i look at her. “uh.. i haven’t done this in a while so.. i might not be as good.” i warn her lying. i’ve never done this at all. i had to prepare her just in case i cum quick. “it’ll be good” she reassures me. she takes the condom from my hand as i take off my boxers slowly. i see her eyes widen a bit as she slowly wraps the condom on my dick. i lay her back down, sliding her panties to the side, and align myself at her entrance. she gives me a smile as i look down at what i’m about to do. i push myself into her slowly as i watch her relax.
i hear her moan softly as i continue to push my full length into her. “shit.” i groan quietly. i watch her face as i start to thrust slowly. she shut her eyes as she bites her lip softly. i can’t believe this is happening. my dream finally coming true. i pick up the pace as i put both my hands on her sides. “yes just like that.” she moans out putting her hands on my chest. i kiss her as i continue to go deeper into her keeping my fast tempo.
“fuck Matt you feel so good.” she moans. every time she spoke i felt my dick twitch. her moans were heavenly. “you’re so perfect.” i whisper to her. i lay myself on her slightly as she scratches my back. her scratches were hard as i feel the slight sting.
all my worries disappear once i find out i’m actually doing a good job. she made me feel a bit more confident. as soon as i was about to cum i pull out because i wanted to keep pleasing her. i pull her by her thighs as i put my head in between her legs. i start licking at her folds softly as she lets out a breath. i then start sliding my tongue up and down, swirling my tongue on her clit. i felt her grip my hair lightly. “oh Matt.” she moans. “you taste so good.” i say continuing to eat her out. “Matt i’m going to cum.” she says as i start to suck on her clit. she throws her head back as she arches her back, shoving her pussy more into my face. “yes Matt just like that!” she screams out as she cums all over my mouth.
i get back up as i lick my lips, realigning myself as i thrust back into her sensitive core. she gasps as she grips onto my arms. i thrust at a fast pace before cumming inside her into the condom. “oh fuck.” i moan out.
we were both catching our breath as i pull out of her. i take off the condom and throw it in the trash. "you must be a pro or something. that was incredible.” she says sitting up putting her clothes on.
good to know. little did she know, i ain't ever did this before.
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a/n: not my best work lol. likes and reblogs are highly appreciated! thank you :)
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kbwrites · 6 months ago
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How the JJK Men Flirt
characters: Gojo, Nanami, Choso
⚝ content: slightly suggestive for gojo, choso is a cutie pie, Nanami will always be husband material
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Satoru Gojo
Thinks he is a smooth operator
In reality, has zero rizz. Creepy rizz.
“Damn Ma, you shit with that ass?” 😩
Makes up for it with his looks and the fact that he’s loaded (wallet and pants).
“When are you gonna let me take you out on a date?” He leans against the wall looking down at you through his blindfold.
“Go away Satoru.” You slip past his arms, leaving the white-haired sorcerer speechless.
You lounge on the couch of your apartment when you hear a knock on the door. Upon opening it you see roses, snacks, and a Chanel bag on the doorstep. Attached to the flowers is a card.
‘Get ready for the BEST NIGHT EVER be there @ 7<3’
Guess you have no choice now?
Once you get past his strong personality he’s actually really sweet.
His laid-back demeanor is really just a front, Satoru is a nervous wreck when it comes to talking to women. Especially You.
Is so worried about impressing you, he buys the most expensive thing on the menu. The food ends up being way too fancy for your tastes so you guys end up at a fast food place.
Orders everything off the menu there too.
Ends up getting so sick from eating too much you have to take him home to take care of him.
That was his plan all along.
★。------ \|/------。★
Kento Nanami
You can’t really tell he’s flirting??
It starts as little things he does for you.
Complaining about working late? A cup of coffee is on your desk when you get to work.
No time to grab lunch? Kento coincidentally has an extra bento.
He always plays it off though:
“I just happened to make too much food.”
“We can’t afford for you to get sick, there’s too much work to get done.”
But the truth is, he hopes you complain about something so he can swoop in and fix it. On your day off, the first one in months you decide to visit a bakery you’ve seen all over Instagram. You see a tall man in front of you… he kind of looks like-
“Kento?”
“Oh. Hello.” He turns around, recognizing your voice immediately. He looks different without a suit. “I’ve never seen you here before. Might this be your first time?”
“Yeah, I saw it online and wanted to give it a shot!” You chuckle nervously.
The line moves, it’s now Kento’s turn to order.
“I’ll have the sourdough loaf, half dozen croissants and..” He turns to you “Whatever this young lady wants.”
You end up ordering a slice of chocolate cake and a few other treats. Profusely thanking your coworker for paying, ever the gentleman.
“Thanks again, please allow me to pay you back-”
“Don’t even think about it.” He says firmly, a moment passes. “Are you heading out now? Maybe we can eat some of these together—”
“YES.”
★。------ \|/------。★
Choso Kamo
Actually adorable.
Follows you around like a love-sick puppy.
You need him to jump? How high?
He notices EVERYTHING about you.
“You changed your hair today. I like it.”
“I’ve never seen you in that sweater before, its pretty.” All said with an intense blush on his face.
He doesn’t really understand why you have such an effect on him, at first he thinks you cursed him or something.
But one day he’s out with Yuji and brings it up.
“Whenever I’m with (Y/N) I don’t want to leave her side. It's like I’m drawn to her.”
His younger brother just laughs.
“Sounds like you’re in love Choso.”
Love?
Once he realizes it he just flat-out confesses. Pulls you away to a secluded spot on the school grounds. There's a bouquet of roses, a teddy bear and chocolate by the base of the tree.
Takes your hands in his and looks at you with a scared but hopeful expression.
“(Y/N).. Would you please be my girlfriend?”
And your heart swoons.
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ive-been-timebombed · 5 months ago
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Part one
Danny is the daddy! And king- same thing.
Summoning rituals are the absolute worst. It happens too often and always ends up with one too many bruises.
Red Hood shifted on his knees and pulled at the rope that held his arms behind his back. He looked to Nightwing who was to the right of him in a similar situation only with more rope and tighter knots, he kept escaping so the cultists improvised. Red Hood looked back to the main excitement in the room and rolled his eyes at the idiotic scene.
A big circle of intricate lines and displays of many items. There were five displays, which Jason can only assume were offerings, one had a bag of food that looked similar to batburger. The second had what looked like a child’s school project on the solar system. The third held a map and a.. baby’s doll.? Jesus, what is this idiot summoning? The fourth was of a bright green liquid... Lazarus Pits? It was brighter than the actual pits and looked cleaner. Not to mention the bubbling was also missing from the vile of the pits. The last was a plant and a bag of sand... Jason gave up on trying to understand whatever the hell the fugly dude was trying to summon.
Speaking of.. the man that was scurrying around the circle looking at it making sure everything was good. He looked insane, with almost bright blue skin, black hair, and cultist-type robes. Not to mention the slight transparency of the man. Jason decided his name was gonna be Wickham.
“Oh finally! I’ll get to summon my king to this blasted world” Wickham stepped back from his summoning circle with a wicked grin, “If only my king didn’t have such strange needs to be summoned..” Wickham looked over to the vigilantes and moved in front of them his hands folding behind his back
“I guess you guys don’t know what I’m summoning do y’all?” Oh great.. he’s about to go on a rant.. “Don’t worry! You’ll find out soon!” Wickham turned to his circle again and stood in front of it. He got down to his knees bowing his head and bringing his hands together. He started to speak, a language Jason had never heard, and by the sounds of it neither had Dick.
The circle started to glow the Lazarus green. Jason felt like he couldn’t breathe. The weight of the ritual was suffocating, and despite feeling like he could grasp Wickham's words, they remained nonsensical.
Strangely enough, Jason couldn’t understand what he was feeling. It felt like longing for something that he never had.. like a warm hug from his father, Willis. He could feel excitement and yearning for the green to overcome the room and cover him in the comfort of.. the distant memory of singing and the cold of a rooftop.
_______________
Despite what many had assumed of Danny, he quite enjoyed the summonings. They weren’t too often and gave him an excuse to leave his boring meetings. When he felt the pull of a summons he grinned and waved to the idiot ghosts that were arguing in front of him and disappeared.
He opened his eyes seeing the usual scene of his summonings.. ignoring the strangely dressed mortals that were tied up near the wall.
“King of the Infinite Realms, Ancient of space and the unknown, Defeater of Pariah Dark, Honored of the Far Frozen, Knight of-“ The summoner listed off. Danny sighed he should really get rid of most of the titles..
“Blah- Blah- Blah. What do you want, Mortal..”Danny asked looking down at the summoner and hesitated at the end seeing the slight transparency of him..
The summoner stopped speaking and bowed further to the ground, “My King! I ask that you cleanse this cursed world and take it for your own! With me as your trust-“ Danny once again interrupted
“I’m good, already own this dimension. It’s only one of the infinite-“ Danny groaned before he froze.. this dimension.. it was his home dimension. The very same he was born in and dead. The same he protected with his undead life when ghosts invaded his town.. The same he left his child in to live in..
“My liege?” The summoner spoke up hesitantly glancing up at the halfa.
Danny didn’t bother to acknowledge the mortal. He was to distracted by the small very similar essence to his own only a few steps away. He looked to the tied up mortals and stared at the one that had a red helmet. The red helmet stared back his core begging for help and the support of its paternal core essence.
When Danny was first introduced to the idea of being king he was put in lessons by the many leaders around the realms. First was with Frostbite, the Leader of the Far Frozen, who taught him the biology and science behind ghost. Embarrassingly, he also had to sit through the sex talk once again. But from what he was taught when a ghost has a child or Ling short for Ghostling. That Ling would be connected to its parents or parent for ectoplasm as it would be to young to absorb ectoplasm on its own. The steady stream of ectoplasm would be used to power the young ghostlings core and nurture it to start absorbing ectoplasm on its own. The connection also helped the parent when they needed the location of their ling or just wanted to check up on them. The connection was like a cellphone that only connected to the child to the parent. It told them the location, needs, even if the Ling needed extra ectoplasm. It could be used for a call to come or even a scream for help.
When Danny was younger he had a kid.. the baby was an accident that he didn’t know about till it was left on his doorstep with a letter saying it was his. He called the kid his Baby JayJay short for Jason. He couldn’t feel a core inside the child so he assumed that Jay didn’t inherit his ghostly habits. So he didn’t form the connection between their cores, he didn’t want to hurt the still living soul of his baby by feeding it unneeded ectoplasm. Danny couldn’t stay in his dimension however.. due to the active laws against his kind. And he didn’t want to drag his child into something he didn’t need to be apart of. So he forced down his core wants and said goodbye to his baby JayJay. Then left for the infinite realms to be crowned and ever wondering what happened to his baby.
_________________
Jason couldn’t describe the feeling when he saw the being Wickham had summon finally appear.
It was a human body despite the many not human things. Their hair was a snow white and their eyes glowed a bright green. The clothes they wore had similarities of kings clothing it was a black with gold accents and a star covered cape. The cape floated like it went beyond gravity which Jason assume it did. The man had sharp canines and pointed ears. His hair floated similar to his cape, defying gravity. The feet of the being faded to invisible as it reached the floor. The glowing green flickering off to blue crown on the beings head drooped back a the being landed on the ground.
“King of the Infinite Realms, Ancient of space and the unknown, Defeater of Pariah Dark, Honored of the Far Frozen, Knight of-“ Wickham started before being interrupted by the being.. King Phantom?
“Blah- Blah- Blah. What do you want, Mortal..” The kings voice was echoey and smooth, Jason swore he heard the voice before.
“My King! I ask that you cleanse this cursed world and take it for your own! With me as your trust-“ Do Wickham was a stereotypical cultist. Only wanting one thing that will likely never gain. The being interrupted him again.
“I’m good, already own this dimension. It’s only one of the infinite-“ The king rolled their eyes before they froze their voice stopping with them. They were looking off into the distance so Jason could only guess the being realized something.
Wickhams voice felt muffled when Jason heard him as the being looked straight at him and Jason stared back.
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cllightning81 · 9 months ago
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Ice Cream - Part Three
Series Title : Younger Sister
Summary : Ollie takes you around the paddock for ice cream
Pairing/s : Oliver Bearman x Norris!Reader, Lando Norris x sister!reader
Word Count: 1.2k
Masterlist Series Masterlist Oliver Bearman Masterlist Lando Norris Masterlist
Previous
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Lando was away doing whatever practice he had been told to do, and Ollie waved to you as he stopped outside the Mclaren garage. Grabbing your phone, you jogged out of the garage, hugging Ollie as you met him.
“Hey, ready for that ice cream?” He asked, and you nodded 
“Yeah! Let’s go get some” You smiled walking through the paddock. Ollie had found a little ice cream stand so that you didn’t have to go too far or leave the paddock, which helped ease your nerves a little. 
“What flavour do you want?” Ollie asked as you stood in the queue. Standing on your toes to see the signs moving from side to side a little before Ollie rested his hands on your shoulders to move to to see the board. 
“The tablet sounds quite nice” You smiled, and he nodded
“Or maybe the Jammy Dodger” You added 
“I think I’m gonna try the Chocolate fudge brownie” He smiled, ordering, turning you to get your order
“What are you wanting to try?” He asked 
“Hmm can I try the jammy dodger” You smiled, and he got his card out to pay for the cones.
“I’ll pay for mine” you told him, and he shook his head, paying for the cones before you could even think about beating him to it
“My treat. You can pay next time” He handed you the cone as you started walking with him.  
“Lando dragging you out again?” He asked, and you shook your head 
“He’s doing some sim work tonight, so no. He doesn’t like to go out the night before qualifying he worries too much” You chuckled, and Ollie smiled 
“You going to watch the F2 race?” He asked, and you smiled 
“I don’t know. I have to be able to sneak away from my brothers prying eyes, but maybe if there’s someone wanting me to watch” You hummed 
“What if I asked you to come watch?” He asked, and you looked at him 
“Well I couldn’t exactly say no to that, could I?” You smiled 
“Then will you come watch my race?” He asked, and you smiled, stopping yourself from walking any further 
“I’d love to come watch your race Ollie” You smiled 
“Come on I’ll take you to my garage” He led you through the F1 paddock and into the F2 paddock. Ollie talked you through who raced in each garage and if he was close with them and all the little bits of information that you’d never need in your life. 
It was nice to see Ollie in his element talking about racing it’s the same look Lando gets when he’s talking about it, the same look Flo gets when she’s talking about showjumping and probably the same look you get when you start talking about something you love just as much. 
You couldn’t help but smile at Ollie as he stood in the Prema garage talking you through how everything was different to the F1 garages you didn’t mean to be staring at him but you just couldn’t help it. He was just great to watch. 
“What? Is there something on my face?” He asked, catching you staring at him. You couldn’t help but blush, looking down at the ground 
“You’re cute when you get all excited about things” you hummed, looking back up at him. It was now Ollies turn to blush as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders 
“Let’s head back to the F1 paddock. Lando and Oscar will be back soon, and I’m due back in Ferrari for some testing” He smiled, and you nodded while walking back to the paddock with him. 
“When did you finish school then?” He asked to make small talk as you walked. Obviously, you started off by dming and then texting, but small talk conversations like these never really came up. 
“Couple weeks ago technically, but I finished my exams like three days ago, which is why this is my first race of the season” you explained, and he nodded 
“Well I dropped out, obviously. I think most drivers dropped out” He chuckled, and you smiled with a nod 
“Yeah, Lando wasn’t exactly helpful if I was ever struggling with school” Ollie laughed at that as you stopped outside the Mclaren garage 
“So I’ll see you tomorrow then?” He smiled, and you nodded 
“I’ll probably be here. For Quali definitely, maybe not FP3” you explained, and he nodded, giving you a hug before walking away to the Ferrari garage. You walked inside the Mclaren garage and through to Lando’s drivers room. 
Sitting on his massage table and stretching while playing your music, waiting for Lando to come back. Lando’s drivers room was really boring, nothing there to personalise it but that was his own choice and there was nothing you could do about it. Jon walked into Lando’s drivers room as you were stretching out your back
“Oh hey, Y/N. I was just looking for Lando’s jacket. Typical English weather it’s started raining” He smiled, and you nodded 
“And he gets moody if he’s cold” you added, and he laughed with a nod 
“That’s very true. Do you know where he’s put it?” He asked, and you shook your head 
“His bag is in that corner, so if he’s brought it, then it’ll be in there” You pointed to his bag, which was next to the beanbag. 
“Thanks” He nodded, walking over to his bag
“You okay?” He asked, checking Lando’s bag 
“Yeah. I've just been standing most of the day so my back and ankles are starting to hurt a little” you explained, and he nodded a little 
“Are you sure? Lando overshares a little too much with me. Says you only get back pain when something is wrong” You chuckled a little with a nod 
“Yeah, I’m fine. Some things just don’t need to be shared with older brothers more than the basic details” He nodded slightly 
“Well if you need anything medical or anything like that, just give me a shout, and I’ll see what I can do to help” He smiled 
“Do you have any heat pads” You asked, and he nodded 
“Yeah, do you want one?” He questioned 
“No, not just now. I just wanted to ask in case I need one this weekend” You smiled, and he nodded 
“Okay. I’m gonna go get ready for Lando getting out of the car” You nodded, moving to Lando’s beanbag and curling up on it while watching TikToks. It felt nice being able to curl up on the beanbag the cramps not only in your stomach but also in your bag, so being comfortable helped the most. 
It felt like years before Lando finally walked through the door and into his drivers room to finally leave for the day. He just needed to get changed out of his race suit and fireproofs before you could leave the paddock. 
“You okay Y/N you look in pain?” He frowned, crouching down next to you.
“I’m fine, Lando. I’m just waiting for you so that I can go back to the hotel and have a nap. I’m not used to these long days yet” Lando smiled with a nod.
“Let me just quickly get changed, then we can get you back to the hotel room” You smiled as he handed you the blanket that he kept in the cupboard. Wrapping it around yourself to keep yourself warm. 
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fandomout · 6 months ago
Note
hi babe! ur a great writer, just letting u know
can i request a carl x reader where when they get kicked out in like s6, shes like this rich kid who bribes the bank into getting their house back? like the cops are kicking them out and she just pulls up with a notice, shoves it in their face and the cops leave? i think it’d be hilarious
lots of love🤍🤍🤍
Sorry about the late reply. I'm trying to get back into things. I hope you enjoy it.♥
Rich Reader helps Carl when they are getting evicted
Carl couldn’t stand what was happening to the house, but he wasn’t going to bring you into it.
He thought with Fiona’s loan looming over his head it seemed possible. After the auction, he didn’t want you finding out.
That particular early morning, you heard the sound of your parents popping champagne in the kitchen, and you walked up to them and asked, “What are you guys celebrating?”
You dad answers, “You know our top salesmen got a house bought in the area we are trying to buy out; When any of them go down, it just means another one, and another one, and ano-”
“I get it.”
Seeing yet again no response from Carl, out of sheer boredom you look over at the stack of papers on the kitchen counter top and you ask, “Do you mind if I take a look?” Your moms eyes go wide and reach for the papers, which causes the papers to fall.
In distaste, your mom says, “Look what you did.”
You apologize and help pick them up and a familiar picture catches your eye. It was the Gallagher house, having been sold and marked with the day before.
You stand up and shout, “What is this?!”
Your father responds nonchalantly, “Don’t get all riled up…”
“Why the hell would you do this?”
“Not us. It’s just apart of the workload. We didn’t do it personally.”
“Yeah I’m sure. You hate Carl.”
“Yes, we don’t like that boy you hang out with. However, we didn’t go looking to do this. It’s just a bonus.” You shake your head at them and leave the house.
You are on the way to the Gallagher house when you see Carl sitting on a bench at the school track with Nick.
You go up to him and shove him before screaming, “Why didn’t you fucking tell me, bone head?”
Nick stands up, and Carl waves him off. Nick goes onto his bike and begins to ride the track. You shove Carl once more and wait for a response. He yells, “What are you on about women?!”
“Don’t fucking start, Carl!”
The threat calms him down as he lowers his voice and says, “What is it Y/N? Geez…”
“Uhmm…I don’t know. Your house being sold.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah, Shit. Why didn’t you tell me?””
“I didn’t want to worry you.”
“Carl...It’s me.”
“You wouldn’t have this problem.”
“Ouch…However, fair.” He snickers. You put a hand on his shoulder and comment, “You can tell me anything Carl. I’m here for you whatever you need.”
“Well, really there isn't much to do. They outbid us last night…Even after Fiona getting a loan, and everyone else scraping up what they could.”
“I could’ve helped.”
“No. Fiona didn’t want my money. I doubt she’d want yours. She wouldn't’ have taken it.”
“But, still-”
Carl's phone rings. It was Debbie, and she was freaking out. You could hear it as she yelled, “I need you like fucking now!” Carl looks over to you and says, “The cops are taking our stuff out.” You stand up and tell him, “Well, let's go.” Carl waves Nick over, and you head over to the house.
You can’t believe the sight of the he cops just taking their things out the house and throwing them like nothing. Carl notices that you haven’t moved from your spot and asks, “You’re not coming?”
“I have to do something. Before i go-” You hug Carl close, which gave you the chance to grab at Carl's gun.
You weren’t sure you’d need it, but something instinctive told you to take it,
Getting home, your quick to find the paper from the morning, you call the new owners, as you get ready to print a new contract that you’ve seen your parents make time and time again.
“Hello, thank you for your latest purchase without us. I was just calling to see if we could finish some final things today.” As they agree, you continue to say, “Great. Where can we meet?...A cafe? Would you mind texting the address to this number? Okay. I’ll see you there.”
Having all you paperwork, you rush to your room clearing out your savings and grabbing your checkbook. Then, you head over towards the city.
The couple look at you surprised, and they say,
“I’m sorry I thought we were supposed to be-”
“Meeting my parents?”
“I’m sorry for all the confusion.” You present an envelope to the table. “You recently bought that house; Now, my friend is going to be homeless. I know this isn’t your problem. However, I can still make this even better. I’ve got about 300,000 its way more than the cost you paid for the house and with that you could probably buy a new house. I have this contract of you releasing the house and your money from the auction will be given back. You just have to sign.”
“I don't know about this.”
You put on your best Carl impression before showing the gun in your pants and say, “Your going to fucking sign before I pop you right here.” You were shaking on the inside at all of it. However, they were quick to sign and rush out of there with the money. You let out air before grabbing the papers and trying to rush back to Carl. This had to have worked.
The police stand in front of Fiona, Carl, and Debbie. You take your keys out the car and slam the door shut and shout, “Stop right there!”
They all look at you funny.
You pull up the papers and look to Fiona before saying, “Fiona, I need you to sign this!”
“What is it?”
“Trust me.”
Fiona does so, and you unconsciously shove the papers at the cop. The cop asks, “What's this?”
You respond, “An agreement from the buyers. They've changed their minds about the house.”
“That means nothing.”
“It does when they sign the house off to Fiona, who has the means to pay any debts on the house and buy it back in full with this check.” You hand it off to the guy. “Getting the bank off our backs.”
They all cheer before Fiona comments, “Please leave my property. I’ve got cleaning to do.”
With grim faces, the police leave
Fiona hugs and kisses you in the cheek. Carl pulls you in right after and asks, “How is this even possible?”
“A combo of my parents and you.”
“Me?”
“Yeah. You.”
You pull out his gun and hand it back to him.
“Shit.” He said before laughing and hugging you again. “Hey, Y/N?”
“Yeah?”
“Forget your parents…You're one of us…Thank you.”
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star-girl69 · 6 months ago
Text
Can’t Help Myself
Caroline (KK) Harvey x Fem!Reader
—-
synopsis: nights out are supposed to be fun, but when someone mistakes you for being single, caroline can’t help herself.
a/n: GUYS IM BACK!!!!! also i love you alexandra savior… anyways from this ask, i hope you all enjoy!!
Can’t Help Myself - Alexandra Savior
warnings: alcohol obviously, lots of it, swearing, violence, mentions of blood and such, ummm idk i don’t want to give too much away 😣😣 that’s pretty much it tho, tell me if i missed anything!!
—-
The last time you went to a bar you were sneaking in with a fake ID.
You were 20, so close to that precious age of 21, a freshman in college and itching for that movie like experience you had grown up seeing. After a friend of a friend hooked you up, you got so drunk you swear you started seeing stars, but those might have just been the checkerboard black and white tiles on the bathroom floor.
Memories of that cold tile on your knees hit you every time you thought about going out and, besides- your major didn’t allow for much partying. A fact your friends and girlfriend all detested- but you refused to get behind on classwork just to end up on the bathroom floor again.
But, here you are. Holding onto your girlfriend, Caroline’s hand as she guides you through the crowds of people and towards the bar. You look around warily- is it just you or is there too many people in this building? Are they seriously not breaking some sort of fire code?
Caroline had asked so nicely- and by that, literally got on her knees and begged you- you were all caught up on school and had no homework, she had just won the NCAA championship and was on a high- plus you had a three day weekend.
Really, there wasn’t any excuse you could use.
Maybe, if you really wanted to, you could have said you were too nervous, and Caroline would have stayed home with you immediately at the first sign of you being anything other than happy. But, you knew she wanted to celebrate with her team. And why wouldn’t she? She worked hard for this, scoring 3 goals during the entire Frozen Four tournament.
Caroline suddenly squeezes your hand before pulling you towards her, arm moving around your waist.
“You good, baby?” She asks, looking around the bar for the collection of red jerseys.
“There’s a lot of people,” you say, hesitantly. You don’t want to lie to her, but you don’t want her to take you home. You know she will. Not yet, at least. “I need a drink.”
She laughs and kisses your cheek, and your stomach twists at the sound of her contagious laugh- you find yourself smiling too. “I’ll get you one, then.”
She immediately makes a detour towards the bar, and you press your hip into the counter while she wraps her arm around you, standing next to you so closely you probably look like one person in your matching Harvey jerseys.
“What’d you want?” She asks, her breath tickling the side of your neck. God, it’s loud in here, too.
You stare at her blankly for a second before shrugging. “I dunno, you’re the one who actually drinks.”
She smiles. “Okay, don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”
The bartender asks what she wants, and you block out what she says- kind of wanting to be surprised. Next thing you know, she’s saying thank you and putting some money on the counter, telling the bartender to keep the change before turning to you, two glasses in her hand.
And, suddenly, despite the uneasy feeling in your stomach and the fact that this place is so bright and so loud, she looks into your eyes and it’s suddenly just the two of you.
“Thank you for doing this for me,” she whispers.
“Of course, baby,” you smile. “You deserve to celebrate. Don’t worry about me, okay? I’ll be fine. I want you to have fun.”
She rolls her eyes. “I’m always gonna worry about you, babe.”
“If I really want to leave, I’ll just grab your hand and squeeze two times.”
“You better not lie to me, though. Are you sure you’re still good?”
You kiss her nose. “All good. Let me have some of that drink now?”
She smiles, and you shouldn’t be surprised by the way she completely bypasses your open hands and lifts the drink to your lips herself, watching intently at the way your lips part around the small black straw, then at the way your cheeks slightly hollow.
It’s… disgusting, really. The drink, at least. Having Caroline look at you like this, pupils wide and bottom lip now drawn between her teeth, is absolutely exhilarating. All you’re doing is taking a sip of her drink and she’s acting like you’re doing the sexiest thing in the world right in front of her.
It’s slightly fruity, and there’s vodka in it, and maybe some soda? It’s disgusting. You don’t know what it is, and you don’t want to know. You continue to force it down, managing to down almost half of the glass before Caroline snaps back into reality, ripping the drink away from you.
“Okay, slow down, please,” she chuckles.
You gag a bit, shaking your head. “That’s disgusting. Ugh, I hated that.”
“I can get you something else?” She asks, frowning. You almost chuckle at how concerned she is. “Or just water?”
“No,” you roll your eyes. “I’m just trying to chug it as fast as I can.” You try to grab the drink from her again, but she holds it back.
“Okay,” she smiles. “You can… do that, I guess. If you really want to, but in a few minutes. Take it easy, yeah, baby?”
“Okay,” you echo, feeling your stomach twist at the way she’s so knowledgeable in this, the way she’s looking out for you-
“Good girl,” she smiles, kissing your cheek before wrapping her arm tightly around your waist again and leading you through the crowd.
She has to know what she does to you.
You look at her out of the corner of your eye- satisfied smirk on her face- oh. She’s trying to kill you.
Fine, you tell yourself. She’s acting all cool as if she wouldn’t be leaving this bar if you squeezed her hand twice. She’ll do whatever you want, you both know that, but if she’s gonna try to rile you up in the middle of the bar by saying that- well, two can play at that game.
She leads you towards the other side of the bar, where you find a huge booth filled with red jerseys, half-full glasses strewn about the table.
Laila’s phone is propped up against one of those glasses, and she stares intensely at the screen in a way you call tell she’s reading comments on live.
“Laila!” KK calls, loosening your grip on you as the floor opens up a bit.
She smiles when she sees the two of you, beckoning you over. She’s sitting at the end of the circular booth, so you let go of KK to give her a quick hug. Wrapping your arms around her neck, pressing your cheek to hers to say hi to the live.
“Hi, guys!” You smile, watching as a flood of comments come in, all of them saying hi, or complimenting you. “Aw, thanks everyone. You’re all so sweet.”
“Guys,” Laila says, “Do you see this right now?”
She plucks at your red jersey.
“She’s a liar. She does not play for the Wisconsin Badgers! And her last name is not Harvey, either!”
KK suddenly appears next to you, pushing her face into frame.
“One day, though.”
user-1 omg they’re so adorable
user-2 Y/N I CANT BELIEVE YOU STOLE MY GF
user-3 tbh she’s beautiful i cant be mad
user-4 y/n harvey has a ring to it tbh…
user-5 NO DONT GET MARRIED KK COME HOME
user-6 @/user-5 KK THE KIDS MISS YOU
“I’ll believe that when I see a ring,” you tease.
“God, nothing ever pleases you.”
“Can you not?” Laila groans, fake gagging.
user-7 aw poor laila third wheeling
Laila scoots over and you sit down next to her, allowing Caroline to press a kiss to your cheek, saying she’ll be back soon.
user-8 y/n fit check pls??
“Y/N do a fit check!” Laila shouts, not quite aware of her volume level. You take another sip of your drink, gagging yet again.
“Okay. I don’t feel like getting up, though. Um, top is from Caroline Harvey’s closet, bottoms are from, like, Old Navy I think. I dunno, they’re just jeans. And then I’ve had these shoes for years, so…”
Laila turns to you, bored look on her face.
“Y/N, you’re not very good at this.”
“Girl, whatever. I tried.”
user-9 y/n ur so real
user-10 i would die for you y/n
user-11 what method of manifestation did you use?
“My method of manifestation? Listened to Bags by Clairo on repeat, of course.”
user-12 Y/N CLARIO STAN CONFIRMED????
user-13 u are my new fav celebrity.
user-14 what are you guys drinking?!?!??!!?
“What are we drinking?” Laila repeats. “Um, I don’t know if we can say this. Take a wild guess, though.”
“I don’t even know what this is,” you laugh, picking up your glass and swirling it around, listening to the ice clink. “Caroline ordered it for me.”
You take a deep breath- moving out of the screen- abandoning the straw and placing your lips right on the rim, downing the rest of the glass.
user-15 GOD THEYRE SO ADORABLE
user-16 i’m still in mourning…
user-17 the day they hard launched a part of me died
user-18 IF Y’ALL DONT SHUT UP YOU NEVER HAD A CHANCE ANYWAYS
user-19 @/user-18 EXACTLY if i see ANYONE bullying my queen y/n i will attack
“Aw, thank you guys,” you coo. “I’m so sorry that I took your girlfriend, really.”
user-20 GOOD
user-21 YOU SHOULD BE.
user-22 pls tell kk to pay child support
“Okay, so, guys, you didn’t hear this from me but unfortunately KK is actually in debt from all of the child support payments, so you might want to find some other income.”
Laila, who had zoned out reading the comments next to you, laughs so hard she has to take herself out of frame.
“No, because KK actually is so broke right now.” She says, coming back into frame, her eyes so wide she looks like a crazy person.
user-23 y/n pls take laila home 😭
user-24 laila ily pls stop drinking
Laila gasps, dropping her jaw in shock.
“I’m literally not even that… D-R-U-N-K!”
“Laila,” you say, biting your lip to keep from laughing. “Maybe it’s time to let the live go.”
“Yeah, I wanna dance. Okay, bye, guys. Sorry for tripping out. I love you all, see you guys soon.”
You blow a few kissy faces at the screen. “Love you guys!”
The live ends and Laila immediately perks up, looking towards the dance floor. “Okay, move!” She says, trying to push you out of the booth. You scramble away, chuckling at how disoriented she is.
“Sure you wanna dance? Your 6’1 self might fall over and kill someone.”
“Shut up, Y/N.”
Dancing does sound nice. You need to let go a bit, and where better to do it then in the middle of a bunch of people so drunk they won’t remember this tomorrow?
Laila grabs your hand, despite the fact she just told you to shut up, and starts to drag you into the crowd of dancing people. The music seems louder, now.
“Y/N!”
Someone grabs your other hand, pulling you and Laila to a stop. KK stands there, concern on her face and her drink back in her hand.
“Where are you going?” She asks.
“To dance,” you roll your eyes. Maybe you’re kind of a lightweight, but you already feel a little tipsy. That might be a placebo effect, though. This place just feels so freeing, with all the pretty lights and the music that you swear is getting louder by the second.
You grab her drink, taking another big sip.
Her eyes widen and Laila groans, tugging on you.
“I wanna danceeee.”
KK looks between you, drunk Laila, and the crowded dance floor.
“Y/N,” she grimaces. You take another sip.
“I wanna dance, KK. Don’t be a… freakin’ party pooper.”
She blinks at you. “Oh, my God, you are such a lightweight.”
“Okay, can you relax? Overprotective? Your precious girlfriend will be fine,” Laila smiles, flexing her bicep.
“See?!” You smile, gesturing animatedly to Laila before taking another sip.
She grabs her drink back from you. “All done with that.”
“Aw,” you pout.
Caroline sighs, looking again at the dance floor like it’s some entity that’s gonna hurt you.
“Baby,” you start, wrapping your free arm around her neck and drawing her in close to you, burying your face into the side of her neck.
“Y/N.”
You kiss her neck, tongue darting out to swipe across her sweet skin. “Please let me dance, Caroline.”
There’s a breathy lilt to your voice you both know she can’t resist. This is how you win every argument, just bury your face in her neck and ask pretty please.
“Shit, Y/N,” she says, her voice strained. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” you ask, kissing her neck again.
She puts her free hand on the back of your head, smoothing down your hair for one second, savoring the moment before she pulls you away.
“Can I go dance?” You ask, barely licking your lips- but she sees it.
She sighs and rubs the back of her neck.
You both know she can’t resist you, not right now. Especially not when you’re wearing her last name and you’re kissing her neck.
“Be safe.”
“Bye! Love you!” you shout, tugging on Laila. She drops the hand that was covering her eyes and smiles.
“Thank God that’s over.”
You turn to look back at Caroline, and she’s staring after you like you’re the most precious thing in the world. You’ve never thought that Caroline’s overprotective nature was too much. You’ve never shied away from it. How could you hide away from something that feels so perfect? So good? So right?
Belonging to her is the most fulfilling thing you’ve ever known- you can’t help yourself from loving every crazy part of her.
And, besides, she deserves to spend time with her friends. She deserves to celebrate her win in whatever way she wants. You’re kind of surprised that she didn’t follow you out onto the dance floor, but you’re happy about that. She needs her friends and you need yours.
The music gets so loud you swear your eardrums are about to burst.
It’s the best thing you’ve ever felt.
—-
After dancing with Laila for so long your legs feel like they’re about to fall off, they start playing a slightly slower, more sexual song. Couples quickly form on the dance floor- whether it be actual couples or just random people deciding to dance together.
Laila hits your shoulder, and subtlety points to a man wearing the ugliest neon yellow jacket. Maybe it’s not so bad on its own, but paired with an equally neon orange shirt underneath, he looks kind of like a traffic cone.
You laugh, but this new song has changed the vibe, and suddenly you wish your girlfriend was dancing with you.
“I want Caroline,” you say to yourself, spinning around, trying to find where the red jerseys are- quickly getting dizzy. Definitely a little drunk.
“Who would have guessed,” Laila deadpans, and you swat her shoulder while she laughs.
You suddenly feel eyes on you, but Laila is searching the crowd. You look around, suddenly locking eyes with a man dressed in black dress pants and a blue shirt- the top buttons open.
The first thing you notice about him is how startlingly pale he is. You actually kind of get the shivers- he’s deathly skinny, with a goatee he cannot pull off- and he kinda makes you feel uneasy.
Besides for his somewhat startling appearance, he licks his lips as he looks at you like you’re a piece of meat.
“Ugh,” you say, cringing, unable to hide the disgust on your face. You feel kinda bad when his face falls- maybe he’s just drunk like you. Yet, here you are, criticizing his appearance and gagging at him. You shoot him an awkward smile, and his eyes trail up your body- okay. So much for giving him the benefit of the doubt, whatever. “Help,” you whisper to Laila, somewhat jokingly, grabbing her hand.
“Huh?” She asks, grabbing back and looking around.
“Really pale weird guy staring at me like he wants to fuck me.”
“Oh, Jesus Christ, Y/N. That’s fuckin’ disgusting, don’t tell me that.”
“Sorry!” You laugh, watching her eyes widen as she seems to finally spot him.
“Oh, wow… he’s so handsome! When my eyes are closed.”
You laugh and quickly slap your hand over your mouth, turning to her to keep from him seeing you.
“He’s still staring, though,” she frowns. “Okay, this dude is actually so creepy- I’m done dancing, you too?”
You suddenly remember how much you miss Caroline.
“Yeah, all done. Miss my girlfriend.”
“Y’all are so clingy, God… anyways, where did we come from?”
“Um, there, I think.” You start leading her through the crowd, immediately forgetting about the man, thinking only about your beautiful girlfriend and how excited you are to see her again. Forgetting the fact that’s only been about 20 minutes.
Suddenly, a flash of blue appears in front of you and you’re slamming into someone.
“Oh, sorry!” You apologize, steadying yourself by grabbing onto Laila. “You okay?”
You’re met with a pale face and a goatee.
Your eyes widen but you manage to bite your tongue, Laila squeezing your hand so tightly it might snap off.
“All good, pretty girl. You okay?”
“Fine, thanks!” You manage to bite out, Laila’s resolve slowly falling as she starts laughing a bit, and you try desperately to pull her away.
“Hey,” the guy starts, but you pretend not to hear him and tug Laila past him. You can’t bear to look behind yourself, scolding Laila softly as she starts boisterously laughing.
“Oh, my God- you bumped into him!”
“Laila!”
This entire night has felt perfect so far, and it feels kinda picturesque that a super cliche movie thing happened to you. All you can do is laugh about it.
“What’cha laughing about?” Caroline asks, and you suddenly realize you’ve escaped the dance floor and made it back to her.
“KK!” You smile, wrapping your arms around her neck and pressing a short kiss to her lips. She smiles back at you, looking at you in a way that can only be described as adoringly.
“Okay, bye,” Laila says, jokingly covering her eyes as she walks away to talk with some other teammates.
Caroline rolls her eyes at Laila but wraps her arm loosely around your waist, just keeping you close to her. “You’re having fun, baby.”
“So much, this is great. Why don’t I go out more? Why don’t I drink more? Oh, can I have that?”
Caroline stares down at her drink that you’ve already drunk most of-
“C’mon, sweetheart, I’ll get you another one.”
“Okay!” You smile, feeling on top of the world with her arm around you again. She leads you around the outskirts of the dance floor, and you end up back at the bar- leaning against her while she orders.
You’re standing side by side, and she’s dropped the hand around your waist to pull out cash from her wallet. You miss her touch, so you lean your head against her shoulder, adjusting her jersey that’s started slipping down your shoulder.
“Can I buy a drink for the pretty girl and her friend?”
At first, you don’t even realize someone’s talking to you.
You hear about it in the movies, the creepy guys at bars. You hear the horror stories from your friends and family. And you know it’s real, you know it happens- but you never ever think it could happen to you.
Suddenly, there’s that same pale man right next to you, staring into your eyes with such and intensity you wonder if he has a medical condition or if this is some weird attempt at flirting.
“What?”
Its the only thing you can think to blurt out.
Caroline looks up from her wallet, stuffing it back into her pocket and turning to you, hearing your voice but confused as to what you’re talking about.
“Can I buy you a drink?” The guy repeats in a hopeful tone- but the way he carries himself irks you. He’s self-entitled. It’s not quite confidence, but it’s more so this idea that the entire world should bow at his feet. And, unfortunately, that includes you.
“Excuse me?” Caroline asks, quickly wrapping her arm around your shoulder and pulling you even closer. “Thanks, but she doesn’t want anything from you.”
“Really?” He asks, smiling in that same self-entitled way. “C’mon, honey. You’re gorgeous, I’m gorgeous, let me buy you a drink and take you home.”
You feel utterly frozen. Is this actually happening? Are there cameras somewhere?
“Uhhhh…” you say, looking between him and Caroline- the two of them currently engaged in a deadly staring competition.
“Sorry, let me rephrase. My girlfriend doesn’t want anything from you.”
“Caroline,” you mutter, hearing an edge to her voice that’s turning from protective and wary to something a little more… violent. “Let’s just go, babe.”
“Yeah, let’s just go,” she echoes. She turns around with you still under her arm, positioning herself between you and the other guy.
He scoffs as you both turn around- completely offended and shocked at the idea that you don’t want him.
Maybe Caroline glaring at him sets him off. Maybe he just doesn’t know when to quit.
“C’mon, baby- you know you want it. Stop being a little bitch.”
Your mouth parts slightly- and you almost want to laugh- him? Calling you a bitch?
You can feel Caroline’s entire body tense against you.
“Caroline-” you start, knowing her protective nature is going to get to her. You’ve seen it a thousand times on the ice when a girl on the other team gets too close to her goalie, or roughs up another Badger- Caroline fights on the ice.
God, you’ve even confessed to her how sexy you think it is when she suddenly shoulder checks some girl, or slams her stick into someone’s chest.
She whips around, her arm out in front of you, while the arm that was previously around your shoulder whips around and slams into his face.
You let out a yelp at the sheer speed of it all- one second you were walking away, and now Caroline is shaking out her hand as the man doubles over, clutching his jaw.
“You stupid fucking bitch!” He shouts, a crowd quickly forming.
Thankfully, she ignores that comment.
“Listen to me. You don’t touch my girl, you don’t look at her, you don’t think about her- or I swear to God you will not be able to fuckin’ talk.”
She turns back around, her jaw clenched, and you gape at her- mouth opening and closing like a fish, you feel so stupid- but you don’t even know what to say. Do you scold her? Do you kiss her? Because you kinda want to do both right now.
Your mind is literal mush. Not only was that the hottest thing you’ve ever seen in your entire life- but also terrifying. Thankfully, you don’t have to do anything, because Laila and a few other Badgers break through the crowd, grabbing KK and dragging her back towards the exit.
Laila softly taps you, and you tear your eyes away from the fuming man still clutching his cheek- mouth still stupidly dropped open.
“You good?” Laila asks, softly putting her hand on your shoulder.
“Good,” you breathe. “Oh, my God- I can’t believe that just happened.” Laila leads you out of the bar, following behind KK who is getting… forcefully escorted out by her teammates.
The whispers and the staring stops when you exit the bar and into the fresh air. It’s nice out here, still warm but there’s a cool breeze running through. The bar was stuffy and hot, and you didn’t even realize you were holding your breath until the fresh air is right in your face.
“Okay.” Britta Curl, Wisconsin’s captain sighs heavily, rubbing her temples. “What the fuck happened.”
It’s not quite a question.
KK’s teammates let her go, and her jaw is clenched, fists also clenched at her sides. She’s like a tight little ball of anger right now, about to explode.
She’s obviously not going to answer, so Britta turns to you. Her frustration softens a bit, and you’re sure you look a little shaken up- you can’t stop thinking: what if Caroline wasn’t there?
What if he got his hands on you? What if he had stepped closer?
“You okay, Y/N?”
“Yes,” you breathe. All of the team knows you well, and most of them are truly your friends. Despite the fact it’s become a running joke to refer to you as “KK Harvey’s Girlfriend” you know they all do care about you. “I’m fine, thank you.”
“Shit, Y/N,” KK breathes, running her hand through her hair. It’s nothing like earlier tonight when she said those words, when you were kissing your neck.
God, if you could go back to that.
She takes a few deep breaths. “Shit. I’m sorry, Y/N. I… I just couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t let him say that shit. Call you that, fuck.”
You can practically see the memories flash behind her eyes, and she’s getting herself all worked up again.
“Harvey,” Britta cautions, putting her hand on her shoulder. “Take some breaths.”
“Okay, hold on,” Laila starts. “Was that who I think it was? Pale guy from the dance floor?”
“Yeah,” you affirm, and Laila rolls her eyes.
“What a creep.”
“Wait, who?” KK asks, suddenly completely still, staring at Laila in a way that reminds you of a predator about to attack. She’s still got that rage in her veins, and she’s chasing the high, the retribution.
“There was this guy on the dance floor, he was staring at Y/N in this, like, sexual assault-y way, super creepy-”
“A what way?”
Her voice is calm. But you know her, you know her voice- you can hear the pure rage behind it. That deadliness, all of that precision and strength from hockey honed to one target.
“Okay,” Laila says, sticking her palms out in a calming manner. “Not the best choice of words. Deep breaths, KK.”
“No, like what? He was staring at my girlfriend like what?”
“Caroline.”
You walk towards her, placing your hands on her chest.
“Caroline, sweetheart, I love you… but you have to calm down, okay? He was just a fucking weirdo at a bar. And you punched him, remember? He’s not going to talk to another girl, let alone me, for a long time.”
You force her to meet her eyes, and she stares at you for a few seconds- her face slowly starting to soften.
“Sorry,” she mumbles after a moment.
“Why do we even try?” One of her teammates whispers. You resist the urge to smile.
“Why don’t we go home, K?”
She looks over your shoulder at the door to the bar.
“Yeah.”
“Thank God,” Laila mutters. “This was about to become a bloodbath. Everyone say ‘thank you, Y/N.’”
A few of her teammates laugh, and even KK cracks a small smile as they all repeat the sentiment.
Britta turns to KK, glaring at her still somewhat disapprovingly.
“I’m sorry,” KK mutters again.
Britta sighs. “I… probably would have punched him too if I was there. I can’t blame you.”
“Exactly, like? What was I supposed to do? He called my girl a bitch and I was supposed to just walk away? Nah. No way.”
“Overprotective!” Laila chimes in with a sing-song voice, and all of you laugh.
Finally, you all manage to bid your goodbyes, Laila saying she’ll hitch a ride back from someone else- “I don’t want to hear what’s about to go on in that bedroom. Keep the biohazards to a minimum, though.”
Caroline opens the car door for you, moving around to the other side and quickly climbing in. She puts her hand on the inside of your thigh, not starting the car yet, and making no move to.
She hesitates for a moment.
“Did I scare you?” She finally asks, turning to you with such vulnerability etched into her face it fixes any part of your heart that had ever hurt.
You smile softly, because you love this girl and you can’t believe she cares about you this much.
“No, baby.” You put your hand on her face and she leans towards you. “I was scared… because I kept thinking about what would have happened if you weren’t there.”
“I’m never letting you out of my sight at a bar again. Or ever, actually. Would you be down to tattoo Property of Caroline Harvey on your chest?”
“Caroline.”
“I love you.” You smile, the joking scold dying on your tongue. “I love you so much. And I can’t believe you’re all mine.”
You fake gasp. “I cant believe you’re all mine. Caroline Harvey, Olympian, star-athlete, heartthrob of women’s hockey-”
She shuts you up with a kiss. You’re both smiling into it, your thumbs rubbing her check, her hand squeezing your thigh and her other hand coming up to lightly hold the base of your neck.
When you finally have to pull away for that stupid thing called breathing, you grab her hand and squeeze twice. She quirks her brow at you before realization washes over her face.
“Well, when my beautiful girl says it’s time to go, it’s time to go.”
She doesn’t move her hand from your thigh the entire drive. And despite Caroline being a little hot headed and a little overprotective, it’s just her way of showing you she loves you- you can’t think of it any other way.
There’s no one else in the world who would succumb to whatever you want just because you kissed their neck, no one else who you would feel confident completely placing your trust in, no one else who can love you the way she loves you.
And if tonight is any indication- she loves you to the point of violence. Which is kind of alarming, but mostly sweet.
—-
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rabesbabe · 7 months ago
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Silver Soul
Jackie Taylor x Fem!Reader
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part one ➴ part two part three
Summary: You accidentally injure Jackie one day during practice and your relationship with her starts to bloom.
A/N: Jackie is such a cutie and she literally did no wrong the entire series (fight w me idc). But I’m hoping YJ tumblr is still alive idk? Enjoy this fic tho ! (Not proofread)
“Oh my god.”
Your mouth is agape as you watch the ball you kicked hit Jackie Taylor straight in the nose.
The whole team stood and watched in shock as the ball coming from the complete opposite end of the field smacks her straight in the face.
The best way to describe Jackie in your words was perfect. And you weren’t jealous of her or anything. You liked who you were and all but it was just true. Jackie had amazing grades, she was the captain of the soccer team and, from what you knew she came from a good family.
Even though you had been on the same team as her for two years now, you guys never really became anything more than acquaintances. You waved at her in the halls and she did the same but that was kind of it. You guys had different social circles and shared a few classes but never talked in them. She wasn’t anything to you really besides your teammate.
You ran as fast as you could to the other side of the field to help Jackie who was now clutching her nose and wincing in pain.
“Wait, Y/N!” You heard Natalie call out to you. And as you were running you looked back to see what Nat was calling after you about.
When suddenly you ran straight into Jackie and you both fell to the ground.
You grab your head and wince. Jesus did you have to be this clumsy?
Opening your eyes you see Taissa offering you her hand and laughing while Van does the same for Jackie.
As you stand up, you look at Jackie, her face was red from the impact and her eyes looked glossy. You felt like the worst person in the world.
“Shit, Jackie, I’m so sorry.” You say.
She winced again as she looks at you and tries her best to smile through the pain. “It’s totally fine. You didn’t mean to.”
Still feeling like satan himself you offer to take her to the nurse.
“Yeah that’d be great.” She says.
As you and Jackie make your way to the side of the field Nat catches up with you.
“Way to go Y/N,” She says, teasing you.
“Now, is not the time to be an asshole.” You say to her halfway joking.
You and Nat had been best friends since practically the first day of kindergarten. You had caught her outside throwing rocks at kids during recess, and since that was right up your alley, you joined her. Ever since then you guys have been inseparable. And constantly being menaces towards everyone together.
Nat waves you off and walks back to the field. You turn your attention to Jackie and stop her so that you can move her hands from her face. You Inspect her nose and it was most definitely bleeding but, it looked okay. You were shocked at how powerful you could kick.
“It should be fine.” You say smiling a little at Jackie.
She nods not seeming to believe you.
The walk to the nurses office was filled with awkward silence. You had no idea what to say to her. You just kicked her in the face and then basically tackled her. You were shocked she didn’t hate your guts.
As you walk to the door you realize that since it’s after school the nurse isn’t gonna be inside the office.
“Uhm. I kinda forgot that she wasn’t gonna be here.” You say awkwardly to Jackie who somehow, was giving you her award winning smile even though her nose was literally bleeding onto her jersey.
“It’s fine I can just get ice when I get home.” She says, shuffling her feet.
“Or I could get us into the office without a key?” You say smirking.
She looks up at you, her hazel eyes glowing with disapproval. “There’s cameras? Don’t you think they’ll see us.”
“So what? Are they gonna give us detention for stealing an Ice pack?” You laugh, rolling your eyes.
The corner of her mouth turned upwards and she smiles a bit but still looks worried.
“Come on Jackie, live a little.” You look down at the lock and grab a hairpin.
In about 3 minutes you were into the office.
Jackie looks at you her mouth slightly open.
“Wow, you didn’t think I could do it did you?” You look at her with a fake offended face on.
“No I definitely didn’t. But, you did.” She says giggling.
Still feeling very responsible for her obvious pain you say, “Here sit on one of the beds I’ll grab the ice pack.”
Looking around the nurses office you find the freezer and grab some ice. You put it into a plastic bag and wrap a paper towel around it.
“Scooch.” You say and you sit next to her on the nurses bed.
You gently grab her chin and inspect her face noticing that the bleeding stopped.
“Wait.” You say getting an idea. You go into the bathroom get some tissue and wet it with cold water.
When you get back over to her you notice she’s already shifted back into where you were sitting.
You playfully roll your eyes at her. “Cmon, schooch again.”
You sit back down and grab her face again. This time you move closer your faces are only inches away from each other. You gently wipe the blood off her face. Her breathing starts to falter a little and you look her in the eyes. “God, the ball must’ve hit you hard, you can barely breathe from the pain.”
Her cheeks go a light shade of pink that you wouldn’t have noticed if you weren’t so close to her. “Uhm. Yeah it hit me pretty hard.” She says.
“Sorry again.” You say.
A little out of it from the throbbing coming from her face and her proximity to you at the moment, Jackie bursted out laughing. Very confused since nothing funny happened, you look at her.
“What?” You say starting to laugh a little yourself.
“Nothing,” She says trying to catch her breath. “You’re just like the clumsiest person i’ve ever met.”
“Asshole,” you laugh out.
“I’m the asshole? You’re the one who kicked me.” she exclaims, attempting to stifle her laugh.
You narrow your eyes at her playfully and hand her the ice pack.
“Now you’re back to the beautiful normal Jackie,” You say. “All that blood was not doing you justice.” You joke.
She blushes at your words slightly and you notice but brush it off as her face just being red from earlier.
Getting up from the bed she looks down at her wrist, checking the time. “Practice is probably over now.”
“Yeah. We should go and get changed.”
-⚽️-
After changing and showering you walk with Nat to your car. You guys stop there for a bit and chat.
“Is she coming over here?” You say furrowing your eyes and looking into the distance.
Across the parking lot was Jackie, smiling at you and Nat, in her perfect little outfit.
“You kick a girl in the face one time and now she’s obsessed.” Natalie says smirking while taking a drag from a cigarette.
You elbow Nat in the side at her sarcasm causing her to drop her cig. “Ouch?!” Clutching at her side she looks at you. When Jackie reaches your car she stops right in front of you and Natalie.
“Uh hey Jackie.” You say weerily.
“Hi.” She says, giving you that smile she gave everyone when she wanted something. You had seen it before a million times. And it worked every single time.
“Did you need something?” You ask.
“Yeah actually, I was wondering if you could drive me home?” She Bats her eyelashes at you innocently.
Nat gives you a confused look and you shoot one right back at her. Why was she suddenly talking to you?
You try to think of an excuse to say no. You had a routine after school. You got coffee at your favorite place and studied. Sometimes Nat came along if she wasn’t working. And then after school you’d watch movies or hangout with friends and smoke. Driving Jackie Taylor home was not apart of that routine.
“Doesn’t Shauna take you home? I thought you guys always like hungout after practice or something.”
“It’s totally fine! She’ll survive one day without us hanging out. Plus you owe me after today.” She smiles at you again.
Nat buts in. “Yeah you owe her Y/N, drive the nice girl home.” She says trying to annoy you.
You look over at Nat and give her a look that she immediately understands as “I’m literally going to kill you if you don’t leave right now.” Nat laughs and walks to her car. “I’ll call you later Y/N.” She yells to you before getting in.
You flip her off and yell back, “Please don’t!”
Jackie looks at you again and asks, “So are you gonna drive me or not?”
You just sigh and open the door for her.
She squeals and gets in.
“Oh, by the way I usually stop for coffee so I guess you have to come with me.” You say starting the car up.
“Fine by me.” She says.
You guys pull out of the parking lot and drive for a while in silence. You notice Jackie looking over at you every now and then and you try your best to ignore it.
“So, are you gonna play music?” She asks looking at you expectantly.
“If you want,” You shrug. “There’s a few cassettes in the glove compartment right there.”
She opens the glove compartment and gasps. “The Smashing Pumpkins!”
You look over at her doubtful. “You know them?”
“Duh.” She says rolling her eyes. You laugh and she puts the tape in.
1979 starts playing and she rolls her window down poking her head out.
Finally, you both make it to the coffee shop. You park and walk in.
Jackie looks around seeming to be impressed by the place. “This is really nice,” She says. “You come here everyday?”
You nod. “Yeah basically, I just come here to study for tests and things.”
You get to the register and tell the barista your order and so does Jackie. You go to pay for the coffee when Jackie grabs your hand. “Something wrong?” You say confused.
“My treat!” She says smiling. You step back and let her pay.
While Jackie waited for the coffee you grab a table. She sits down and hands you your coffee. “Thanks for paying by the way.” You say and smile a little at her.
“Anytime!” She says enthusiastically. She was constantly happy it was almost annoying.
You guys study for a while talking about random things. Jackie gets silent for a bit and you look up at her. She looked like she was super deep in thought about something.
“So are you like dating anyone?” She asks avoiding your gaze.
You look up confused as to why she wanted to know but you answered anyway. “Uh no not technically I guess.” You said. You weren’t really lying. You and this girl talked on and off but nothing ever really came of it besides a few kisses at parties every now and then. Your love life was practically nonexistent.
Jackie nodded. “What about you? Aren’t you seeing that dude. I can’t remember his name isn’t it like Jack?”
She chuckles. “Jeff. And no we broke up while ago.”
“Oh,” You say. “That sucks.”
She sips her coffee. “Yeah it’s whatever I don’t really like him anyways,” She looks down. “I don’t know if I ever did to be honest.”
Now you were curious. You look at her and notice she’s doodling on her hands. “What do you mean?” You inquire.
“Well, I don’t know.” She sighs. “It’s nothing.” Her hands start fidgeting with her pen and she breaks eye contact with you.
You were shocked by her mood shift. You’d never seen her look unsure of herself before. The only Jackie you’d ever known was the confident self-assured one.
“Well whatever it is, I’m sure your feelings are valid. Relationships are complicated. And any guy is lucky to have you Jackie.” You smile at her trying to make her feel better.
She looks up at you and smiles. “You’re not so bad yourself Y/N. Any guy is lucky to date you too.”
You almost spit out your coffee at her words. “Guy?” You say laughing.
She looks at you confused until it clicks and she widens her eyes. “Oh! I- Sorry I didn’t know.”
Laughing you say, “I’m surprised you didn’t?”
“Does everyone else know?” She asks baffled.
“Basically. And Im not the only one on the team you know?” You explain taking a sip of your coffee.
“What?!” She says, “Who else?”
You rest your head in your hand as if trying to recall who else. “Well, Van, Taissa, Nats Bi, and so is Lottie.”
She looks at you, her mouth agape. “Am I really this blind?”
You giggle at her “I guess so.”
You both stayed in the coffee shop longer than you normally do. You and Jackie actually got a long very well and it came as a shock to you. You were still a little confused as to why she even was hanging around you but it was refreshing. And you couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she was. Her naturally gorgeous hair, which seemed to always look like it was freshly blown out, the curve of her nose, her beautiful big eyes.
That night when you got home Jackie infiltrated your thoughts. You thought about her while eating dinner, while showering and, while you went to bed. You couldn’t get her off your mind and you already knew where this was going. You spent one day with her and now you had a crush on her. Was she really that intoxicating?
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mydarlingclaudia · 2 months ago
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every word I meant to say
note : ermmmm hi. don't ask where I went for like almost a month work is eating me alive and I was sad. this was inspired by that the unsent project thing andddd idk if I really like this it's def ooc but I was thinking about it again today and this has been in my drafts since September so I figured why not
wc : 2.1k
tags : @luvrgreyy @clitorphosis @sonya-semyonova
desc : letters that went unsent. kind of unrequited love, angst (???), more Leon focused, re2r!Leon - DI!Leon, fem!reader, ooc, not proofread
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"I meant to write sooner, I really did. I know it's been a year, my life is so different now, I don't think you'd even believe me if I tried to explain it. I hope you're doing better than I am, I'm happy you weren't able to move to the city with me."
Leon hasn't written a letter since, what, his first few years in the academy? Maybe the end of his senior year of high school? He can't really remember, but he knows that this letter is important because it's to you, his friend he hasn't seen since the night he left for Raccoon City. This isn't even an actual letter, he's scribbling out what he thinks might be good excuses as to why he hasn't talked to you in a year on the back of pieces of scrap paper he took from the office.
He's supposed to be asleep right now, same as everyone else in boot camp, but it's been a year since Raccoon City and he's wondering if you ever tried to reach him. Maybe you tried to go to Raccoon City to look for him, only to see the pile of rubble that stood in its place, sectioned off by the government. Maybe you thought he was dead, he wouldn't blame you.
You and Leon had stuck together all throughout high school, even managed to stay friends when he went off to the police academy and you moved a few hours away for college. He doesn't even know if your address is still the same, he really hopes it is, there's no phone-books in boot camp if he wanted to try and call you, you're supposed to have your loved ones numbers memorized.
The last time Leon saw you was the night before he was supposed to move to the city, before he got a letter in the mail the next morning telling him not to come in, he really wishes he had listened. You were so happy for him, starting out as a city cop was a big deal and he had worked so hard to get there, you and a few friends had thrown him a going-away-party, telling him not to forget you once he got to the city. Leon couldn't forget you if he tried.
You had talked about moving to the city with him for a short period of time, it was really just ramblings the two of you kept bringing up. "Oh, when we live in the city..." "I can come visit you at work..." "I'll handle dinner, you'll handle cleaning..." Nothing ever really came of those ideas, but it gave him a warm feeling in his stomach knowing you wanted to come to the city with him.
He hopes you’ve been well, that life has been kinder to you than it has to him. Leon hopes you got that job you were gushing about the last time he saw you, he hopes you still think of him on his birthday because he thinks of you often.
He shouldn’t have gone to Raccoon City, he should’ve stayed home the day he left and instead stopped by your house to bother you about going to see a movie. Or he should have taken you to lunch, anything would’ve been better than walking into a city that was beyond saving.
"I’m not really sure what I’m saying, but I know I miss you. How have you been? I hope I’m able to come and visit soon, everything’s been moving so fast, but I’ll figure something out. Maybe we can get dinner, or something. Whatever you want, I’ll pay for it, don’t worry."
Leon's hands shake a tiny bit when he thinks of you, it's that school boy nervousness that movies portray whenever there's a boy with a crush on a girl who he knows is probably too out of his league. You were friends, at least.
"You're done with school now, right?" He knows you are. "I wish I was there for the graduation ceremony, I know your parents are proud. Do you remember my graduation party? Someone spiked the punch and we both ended up passed out in the bathtub at your house, you looked really pretty that night. I hope your graduation was better than mine. This would probably have been better as a phone call, but I don't know, you said letters were always more thoughtful.
– Leon"
That letter never got sent. Every letter needs an envelope, Leon just never got around to finding one, but he kept that scrap piece of paper tucked inside his pillowcase on the odd chance that he got his hands on one. He had stricter rules to follow than the other recruits, being legally dead and all.
But even after he got out of boot camp, he kept the letter. It's hidden away in some drawer in his house, he's not sure where, though.
He didn't make it into the army, he's not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but being in the position he was in now wasn't much better. He's stronger now, hardened, more mature.
Leon's written a few more letters to you over the years, ones that still never got sent because he either deemed them unworthy or because he became unsure of himself halfway through writing it. But he hasn't thrown any of them away, he'll send them one day, he swears it.
Leon's not using you as a way of journaling, either, even though he should find some way to actually write down his thoughts to get them out of his head. What he writes to you is mostly memories, telling you that his life keeps changing and that he misses you. He knows you're different by now, too. You're both grown, no longer in high school, no longer in college or the academy. If he could turn back time, go anywhere other than Raccoon City, he would. He thinks that's selfish of him, him not being there would've left Claire and Sherry in that city, but how would he have even known?
"Me again, hope you're doing better than I am." Leon's way with words gets worse and worse by the week, not that he cares. "I met someone who kind of reminded me of you, she's a sweetheart, like you. You'd probably become fast friends if you were ever able to meet."
Leon's not allowed to tell you about his mission in Spain, or about the president's daughter. President Graham is putting more body-guards in place for his daughter once she steps foot in D.C. again, Leon's sure the president considered appointing Leon as one of them at some point since breaking the news that she was going to be coming back home safely.
Leon should stop thinking about you so much, it's not like you were his only friend in the world, you've probably forgotten him, anyway.
"My life is still different, but yours probably is, too. This probably sounds stupid, but I miss being in high school. You probably don't, your mom was up your ass all the time and you worked yourself to the bone. Has that changed at all?
I remember that one year I went to Thanksgiving at your house, your uncles were all drunk and your cousins kept trying to get me to come sit with them, your grandpa was trying to get me interested in football. I haven't had a holiday like that since then, your family was always really nice to me."
He's not sure what to say anymore, these letters always just end up dragging out, but Leon has a lot of memories and he hopes you think of them as often as he does.
"I'm sorry I haven't visited. It's harder for me to get time off of work these days, even though I could really fucking use it. I promise one day I'll come back, it's just not going to be for a little while. Just don't do anything dumb.
– Leon"
Those letters he's been writing you have piled up in the drawer of his nightstand.
He's definitely sure that your address has changed by now, you're probably not even in the same state anymore. He could always try to find you on Facebook, explain everything that's been building up over the years in a simple text, but there's still rules he's supposed to follow even in his personal life.
Leon didn't stop writing, though. The letters did eventually get shorter, he's not sure if you like the same things anymore or if you'd even be interested.
He writes now mostly about how different his life would be if he was with you, if he had just asked you out in high school or kissed you the night he was supposed to leave for Raccoon City. It almost feels real to him when he goes to sleep, but that might just be the alcohol numbing his brain, not the dream of you sleeping next to him or the feeling of your breath on the back of his neck, not even the little pitter-patter off tiny footsteps coming from down the hallway.
It does make him feel a bit pathetic, dreaming of a life with someone he hadn't talked to in years. Leon can't help but think of you, he always thought you were pretty, and the past always lives in the back of his mind, but it comes alive late at night.
You're an entirely different person by now, someone who he hasn't had the opportunity to meet yet. You're probably married, maybe you even have a few kids running around, Leon's jealous of that. That could've been him, but it's not. But he's not even sure if you'd recognize each other if you passed by on the street, so is it even worth it to dwell on all the maybe's?
"I'm not sure I'll get to visit you for a while, not without a lucky fucking twist of fate, anyway."
All these letters are starting to sound the same, but Leon clings onto the thought of someday sending them to whatever corner of the country you were hiding in and hoping that there's still room in your life for a stranger.
"Do you still want me over for dinner? You don't know what I'd give to just eat a shitty meal with you right now."
You don't know what he'd give to do anything with you, really. He knows that there's a lifetime worth of things he's missed out on and that maybe every once in a while you think about him in the same way he thinks about you.
"I don't know how to ask this, but are you married? I know you'd look stunning in a wedding dress." You probably are, you're a catch, who wouldn't want to put a ring on your finger? Your husband's probably a better man than he is, too. One who hasn't had years worth of trauma jammed into his brain with the proof of it marked across his body, your husband probably takes you out on a date every week, maybe even surprises you with breakfast in bed and kisses the nape of your neck to gross out your kids. "I really hope you're happy, in my head you are.
I wanted that to be us, I never told you, but I was a chicken-shit kid and didn't know how to say it. You show up in my dreams sometimes, you deserve nothing but the best. I meant to get back in touch with you forever ago, but I think it's probably too late.
– Leon"
Two years after his last letter and Leon's still thinking of you, seventeen years after Raccoon City and the image of you sitting across from him for the last time still loops in his mind. He doesn't really remember your voice but he knows that you thought handwritten letters were romantic, and he still reads over the ones he meant to send to you but kept avoiding.
He's done with the letters, hasn't written one in a long time. But he just got back from California and your old favorite song is playing on the radio, and he's remembering how in love he is with your memory.
"I don't know what I'm doing. I'm too old for this and I'm sure you'd tease me if we had somehow kept in touch. I don't blame you if you thought I died in Raccoon City, I hope you're still alive and that life is good to you.
You were always important to me, I think you've given me something to cling to over the years. This letter won't find you and I'm not even really sure if I want it to, but I hope you'd still call me if you were able to. You wouldn't believe the things I've seen, but I'm happy you never got to see them.
Love, Leon
p.s. I'd say I love you but it feels like something you'd say in person"
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cherryxbooo · 8 months ago
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(Un)forgettable Birthday
Summary: You've never been a fan of your own birthday but that changes thanks to a certain F1 driver.
Note: I'm back from the death 🤪 I know it's been a while and i deeply apologize for it 🙏 but school has been a mess with deadlines everywhere. to make it up to y'all I'm back with a new fic. Also, I came up with this idea while listening to the song fantasmas for some reason. Anyways Enjoy!
Reader x Lando Norris
Genre: fluff/angst(ish)
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Loud music drilling into my eardrums, colorfull lights decorating the place and people’s chatter filling the room. I’m currently at my close friend’s Kika’s birthday party, accompanied by my boyfriend Lando. Speaking of him I don’t know where that guy is but he’s probably doing Lando things somewhere so I couldn’t care less. Right now I’m talking with a few of my friends and the birthday girl herself.
“Wauw Kika you planned this party so well!” “Yes, honestly one of the best ones I’ve been to in a while!” Was heard from Carmen and her sister. Kika smiled “I know right! All thanks to Pierre he helped me plan most of it!” I smiled seeing her happy. “You’re very lucky Kika!”
We continued chatting spilling the tea that we hadn’t told each other yet and were just joking around as well.
I was feeling so comfortable until the topic of birthdays came to light again.
“Y/n your birthday is in a couple of days, what are the plans?” I started moving around a bit uncomfortably on my feet before replying. “Euhm I don’t know birthdays aren’t really my thing.” All the girls looked at me with frowns on their faces. “What do you mean? Celebrating your birthday is one of the most important things in your life!”. I looked at her not very convinced. “I mean it’s just like any other day it’s not like I’ve ever celebrated it. It’s just a normal day for me tbh.” The girls looked at me with a sad smile before Carmen broke the silence. “At the end of the day it’s your birthday so it’s up to you what you do.” I smiled at her thanking her for understanding me.
I quickly changed the subject because it was making me kinda uncomfortable since I don’t like it when other people feel bad for me. So we carried on talking and without noticing that Lando had heard everything despite the loud music.
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Later that night Lando had found his way back to me and we were currently enjoying each others company. Lando had his arms wrapped around my waist from the back while I rested my head on his chest enjoying the vibe around me. Lando kept thinking back about your words from earlier it all makes sense now. Because every single time he had asked you what you wanted to do for your birthday you declined it stating that you were too busy with work. He shook of those thoughts and decided to bring it up again.
“Are you enjoying yourself love?” I looked at him smiling. “Very much!” Lando hums meanwhile trying to figure out how to ask you about your birthday.
“Babe question but don’t get angry please”. I look at him confused “Baby what did you do?” Now fully turning to face him. He pulls me closer and holds me tighter.
“Nothing nothing don’t worry about it! But first promise!” I roll my eyes at him. “Alright I promise!” “Babe say: I promise I won’t get mad at you!” I looked at him annoyed “Lando!” “Alright alright” he took a hold of my hands and started speaking again. “What do you want for your birthday?” I sigh looking at him. “I told you already my birthday is just like any other day so I don’t need anything.”
Well that’s kinda a lie the only truth is that I don’t need a gift from him since I don’t like him spending money on me. But to be honest I’ve never had a birthday party or anyone caring about it. When I was younger my parents didn’t pay attention to me at all so why would they even bother giving me a nice birthday. At uni people only congratulated me with their words nothing much and the same goes to my work colleagues. So that’s why I always told people I didn’t like my birthday simply because I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve never had the birthday experience everyone else had before.
“Babe I don’t know who put those words in your head but you’re important and so is your birthday! I mean we’ve got to celebrate the day that my amazing sexy gorgeous girlfriend was born.” I laughed at his words “I appreciate that love but there’s more to that than a simple birthday party.”
Lando looked at me confused before I decided to tell him the truth. He looked at me with wide eyes. He knew that my bond with my parents wasn’t the best but forgetting about their child’s birthday was something he didn't understand.
“Anyways we’re at a party we have to enjoy our selfs and not mop around.” Before he could reply to me I was swept away by one of my friends to go and get some drinks.
Lando kept staring at me watching me disappear in the crowd. “Yo bro what are you doing here all alone? People are gonna think you’re a weirdo or sum staring at everyone like that.” Was heard from his bestfriend max.
Lando stared at max for a few seconds before getting an idea. “I want to throw a surprise birthday party for y/n” Max looked at him confused. “Birthday party? Doesn’t y/n hate them?” “Well yeah but there was a reason for that and all I know is that we can heal her inner child with throwing a birthday party for her. So are you gonna help me?”
Max looked at him surprised, he knew that you two had an amazing relationship but he didn’t expect Lando to do this much for you.
“Alright bro I will but stop staring at me with that creepy smile as if you sitting here alone wasn’t already creepy enough.”
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The following days Lando kept himself busy with all the arrangements for your birthday. Even though he was busy with his work he always found a gap to fix stuff for your birthday surprise.
Currently he was at home on the phone with Max deciding the last few things to finish off the secret birthday party.
“Alright so you have the invitations ready right?” Lando asked his best friend. “Of course all we have to do is sent them out without y/n noticing.” Lando hums “Yeah exactly we have to be extremely careful because y/n always finds out about the smallest things.”
He laughs remembering one time he had planned a surprise date but it was all ruined because you had figured it out, all because you heard him make a reservation on the phone for a restaurant.
“Alright Max send me the invites and I will send them out.” “What invites?” Lando looked at you nervously. “Euhm Max I will call you back.”
Without letting him reply Lando hung up the phone. “Oh baby you’re back early?” You looked at him confused “what do you mean ? I always come back around this time?” Lando gulped hoping you didn’t hear the entire conversation. “But answer me Lando what invites were you talking about.” Lando looks around trying to find an excuse. “Euhm a friend of Max needed invitations and he asked me where I had gotten mine done from my party last year.”
You look at him not very convinced but decided to let it slide. “Okey… anyways let’s go eat I’m starving.” Lando sighs in relief happy that you fell for his lie. “Alright baby you go first I will come right after.”
Later that night laying in bed Lando was occupied by his phone. “Babe can you put that phone down for a second and give me attention please.”
Lando looked at me for a second and quickly turned back to his phone. “One second babe this is important” “But that’s what you’ve been saying all day long.” Without sparing a glance at me Lando replied with a quick “Please baby I will give you all my attention after this.”
Suddenly his phone starts ringing and he goes out of the room to take it but not without quickly kissing my forehead. I huff and turn to the other side to sleep.
The next day when I woke up Lando was nowhere to be seen, so I figured that he went to the gym.
Getting up I went to wash up and get ready for the day. While I was getting ready I got a sudden thought. It’s kinda weird how Lando went from bugging me about my birthday to radio silence in a few days. I brushed it off figuring it was probably because he’s so occupied with racing and all.
Going into the kitchen to make some breakfast for myself, the calendar on the board in kitchen caught my eye. Checking the date I got a little sad knowing that it’s my birthday tomorrow.
“Honestly I would sell my kidney to be able to skip tomorrow.” (Dramatic much innit) Sighing I go back to what I was doing.
The next day I woke up without Lando next to me again. I hoped that he would’ve stayed a bit longer in bed to wish me at least a happy birthday.
“Maybe he left a message or something.” I grab my phone but I see nothing. Only a few congratulations from my co-workers and friends but that’s it. Not even from my own boyfriend.
I’m used to be disappointed on my birthday but even then when my boyfriend would congratulate me it would make me a bit less sad but I guess today is going to be full of disappointment. I got out of bed to get ready for the day.
While I was making breakfast I got a text from Kika.
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I smile at her message. At first I wanted to decline her offer but then I thought about the fact that my own boyfriend didn’t do shit for my birthday so why not.
“This is the least I could do to get that birthday feeling I guess.” Sighing to myself I reply to her and started to get ready.
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“There she is the beautiful birthday girl.” Kika immediately engulfs me in a hug followed by the rest of the girls.
“Hey why do you look so sad girly cheer up it’s your birthday!” I looked at here with a forced smile deciding not to tell her the truth about Lando and all that.
“Nothing nothing let’s go bestie your wallet needs to spent some money on me.” I smirk winking at her. She gives me a fake angry huff but it's quickly replaced with a laugh since she can’t stay serious for a moment. “Alright girly let’s go!”
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I was having an amazing time but I kept checking my phone with hopes for a message from my boyfriend. But every time I was met with disappointment. I didn’t want the girls to question it so I put on a fake smile and carried on with the lunch date.
“Alright girls it was a nice lunch but I have to go.” “NO!” Kika yelled panicked making me confused.
“Euhm you can’t leave yet we have to get you a cake first girly.” She looked quite nervous.
“You know that you don’t have to right.” I looked at her with suspicion. “Euhm.. I know but we wanted to so let’s go!”
And with that I was pulled into Kika’s car heading to what I assumed was a bakery.
“Francesca we’ve been driving for a while now how far is this bakery actually?”
I stared to get annoyed because we had been on the road for half an hour now and the rest of the girls that were with us during lunch also disappeared but I was too annoyed to even ask about them.
“We’re here girl calm your tits yeah.” I stepped out of the car but I was met with a big building. Looking at Kika confused I decided to ask her about this.
“Girl I ain’t no baker or anything but this is for sure no bakery.” She looked at me sheepishly. “Doesn’t matter girl let’s go in.”
Before I could even reply she dragged me in. The place was dark but I could tell that it was big.
“Kika what in the world is this?” Without saying anything to me she pushed me forward. And before I could question her even more the lights suddenly turned on.
“SURPRISE!!!”
I was shocked I stood there frozen trying to process everything. Everyone that I knew was there: my friends, family, colleagues and most importantly my boyfriend.
I was pulled out of my shocked state by Lando pulling me into him. “Happy birthday beautiful you deserve all of this.” I couldn't contain my emotions and soon the tears started pouring down my face.
“You did all of this?” I looked at him still shocked. He smiled and wiped my tears away.
“Of course baby like I said before you deserve it.” “I thought you forgot.” I tell him with new tears pooling in my eyes.
“I could never baby I’ve been planning this all week long, I told you we had to celebrate the day my sexy and gorgeous girl was born.”
I smile at him slightly pushing his shoulder laughing at his words. I pull him by his collar and connect our lips together.
“Thank you so much Lan this means the world to me.” Before he could reply Kika came in between us.
“Girl c'mon we have to celebrate properly you can eat each other’s faces later.” She winks. “C’mon beautiful let’s enjoy this day.” I smile taking his hand. For the first time in my life I enjoyed my own birthday.
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I had a blast we danced, sang, drank and I even got presents! This day was simply amazing but also a bit overwhelming so I went to get some fresh air outside.
“Here you’re birthday girl, I was looking for you beautiful. What are you doing here alone?”
I smile a the voice of my boyfriend. “I wanted a bit of fresh air it was all a bit too overwhelming.”
He smiled sitting down next me. He put his arm around me and pulled me closer to his chest.
“I understand pretty girl, but you deserve all of this you know?.” He said kissing the top of my head. “It’s just nice to finally have a real birthday. Thank you so much baby.” “Of course beautiful today is all about you and I just wanted to show you that you also matter.”
I smile looking up at him. “Thank you handsome for making this an unforgettable birthday. I love you.” He smiles grabbing my face with both of his hands and joining our lips together. “I love you too baby.”
He gives me one more kiss before standing up. “Let’s go back inside pretty girl, and enjoy the rest of your special day.” He holds his hand out for me to take. With our fingers laced together we head back inside.
It’s safe to say that for the first time in my life my birthday felt like an actual birthday and all it took was an amazing man that drives cars for a living to fulfill my wish.
The end
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