#I’m really fuckin sad
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
Honestly speaking, seeing that he tried for a +3 years contract with Mercedes which Merc didn't want to give him, as well as the whole thing with mission 44 etc, following only a 1+1 - This move was the smartest thing he could've done. I'm not saying that Merc is unreasonable for wanting the youth to come up in 2026 at the latest, but he doesn't owe them to play along with that. He did want to end his career there, but not under the prospect of being elegantly pushed out rather than making the leave when he wants to and that's fair. Merc...low key fucked up here, to be blunt.
I think… you’re not wrong in all your points, I wish he got a longer contract and I’m angry and sad he didn’t, but it’s a situation that clearly wasn’t announced the way anyone wanted, and I don’t want to sit here and make a complete comment judgement on it right now, because more info is going to come trickling out over the next few months. Shit in 48 hrs we’ve had the situation flip flop so much it puts a pancake to shame.
I don’t want this to be an apollos dodgeball Oscar situation where we sit here and make jokes cause we think we know the whole deal, only to find out 3 months later the guy we thought was okay was actually a complete asshole, regardless of if it’s team side or driver side
All I know is that no matter what I feel about, that doesn’t impact Lewis or his choices, so it doesn’t really matter.
I can feel kinda lied to and heartbroken and disappointed by MULTIPLE parties involved, but that’s my ball to kick. And it’s also… okay to feel like that within limits. These teams AND Lewis make money on parasocial attachment of fans to them and their stories, in order to sell things. Thats the whole game, and that means on one side, while you don’t know them and they are businesses, you get to be sad when that image is shattered, because they were the ones who encouraged you to make it. I do feel like Lewis cultured an idea of family to us, then pulled the rug out under me, but you can also correctly say he has no duty to care about that, and he may end up going “they’re still my family i’ll return to them, but I want a final challenge”. Or we could find out he’s wanted to bail for years. We have no idea what’s gonna come out in the weeks to come.
It’s kinda like when a family member moves to another country, you get to be sad and feel left behind, but you don’t get to stop them going. Or at least that’s been my way of processing it.
End of the day Lewis forms a fundamental part of my personal history, and one move won’t take that away… but also, I get to be sad? Nothing good comes from trying to pretend you aren’t sad, take it to the guy going back to therapy.
#asks#anonymous#mark’s driver meta#this is as much debate as I’m rlly gonna have on the topic cause… it bums me out#a lot#I’m really fuckin sad#but since that ain’t changing I need to move on with feeling that and then processing it. not rehashing it
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
the fact that doctors can just Recommend Weight Loss with no instructions beyond ‘eat healthier/less’ is actually insane to me, i lost weight on purpose ONCE and it took me like 6 years to recover a semi-normal relationship with food and hunger
#uhh#disordered eating cw#just in case#mumbling#like jfc i know i’m not the first to say it and my experience is relatively SO tame#but it STILL fucked with my head for YEARS#and most people don’t go nearly that long between weight loss attempts at all for basically their whole lives!!!!!#and we’re so blasé about it like yeah just eat less to lose weight#and so few people talk about the really weird shit that phase of my life taught me even though they seem like pretty universal things#like when you lose weight deliberately by denying yourself food you get COLD#you get cold and you get in your head and you get sad it’s like being less alive#the times i’ve lost weight/recomped on accident (by doing smth that makes me move more‚ getting better sleep etc)#it’s been WARM#burn hotter move freer feel happier#and also the way hunger feels when you’ve been denying yourself food for an extended time is NOT the same as baseline hunger#it’s actually kind of wild that we use the same word to describe both feelings like that shit is NOT the same#that shit is not ‘being really hungry’ it’s a fuckin. blood curse or some shit you feel straight up unhinged#and i should disclaim here i am not talking large amounts of weight#i’ve fluctuated over i think a 20lb range max since reaching close to my adult height and that’s a guesstimate#but even in my relatively unremarkable little experiences here the way deliberate weight loss fucked with my brain is absurd to me#i’m fine now have been for years but seriously thinking back on it the fact that this is routine medical advice. unreal
112 notes
·
View notes
Text
-
#ive got this awful feeling i just want to scoop out#i feel stupid and sensitive#like ive hardened myself to all this shit so the fact that i’m being affected by it is also making me mad at myself#my family didn’t want me around for thanksgiving and didn’t want me there for the family christmas party and didn’t want to#spend christmas with me because my mom doesn’t want me around the extended family because of how far in my transition i am#and my gf put off asking her fam about bringing me over for christmas for a month#and barely just asked and it sounds like they don’t want me there either#and tbh i kinda knew they wouldn’t#but also i feel like my gf also didn’t actually want me there which is why she put off asking for so long#and idk#i felt like with how far along i am in emotionally and physically recovering from stuff#and then also having a partner for the holidays for the first time#i would’ve left my sad sandra bullock era. but i have not#the only person who wants me around for the holidays is my dad and ive got such a weird relationship with him#and it literally would just be me and him alone#my dads side of the family doesn’t want me there either bc of the trans thing i just feel really fuckin#disgusting#feeling very goop monster
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay I finally finished FFXVI and that was so so MEAN that shit they do at the end
I did every single side quest and hunt just cus I was hoping I could get a good ending for my guy Clive but ARGHHHHH
I can’t with this
I cried like 3 separate times, with my only comfort being the kicksss soundtrack and a fun little kaiju fight in there :(
#final fantasy xvi#ffxvi#MAN I fuckin loved Josh and Dion#even Clive#as far as player characters I really wanted to see him happy#none of them deserved all that#and then the GALL to have the final fight use phoenix wings#EVIL those are not YOURS#and the scene with all your homies at the end with the baby UGH#so so sad whyyy#I’m glad I did everything I could#makes me feel like I really made the most out of Clive’s time yknow?#and I got the best sword in the game to put through Mr guys chest :D#thematically appropriate weapons are a must lol#paiges sayins
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
A while back I saw sm1 saying tsukasa expresses emotions like it’s his first time experiencing them & while it’s very funny and true I think it’s also worth noting that unlike tv/movie actors, stage actors have to really exaggerate their body language/expressions so that their emotions are readable for everyone in the theatre. On screen you can easily pick up the micro expressions on an actor’s face because you’re like 5 ft away at most and the camera often zooms in on their face. From the back of the theatre you can’t read subtle expressions so the actors need to over emphasize and use their whole body. All this to say: given that u cannot take the theatre kid out of tsukasa I feel like his acting just bled into how he expresses his emotions.
Emu also does the body language thing but it’s harder to tell as she’s normally expressing a smaller range of emotions than tsukasa (she’s naturally joyous and whimsical creature & tsukasa is usually given ample reasons to express annoyance). I think that’s more of a result of her exaggerating her happiness so that other people are also happy rather than an acting thing though. Gestures at her refusing to show negative emotions. Entertainer/clown (actual clowns, not the insult) vs stage actor. Really good examples of them doing this is the clip of rui imitating tsukasa & the clip of nene imitating emu.
#project sekai#don’t misinterpret this he’s not like. pretending to feel whatever he’s expressing. he’s acting the emotions he feels.#he’s capable of not doing that esp when he needs to be serious. his normal is just stage acting behavior.#knowledge I gained from 1) having a theatre kid sister who was rlly good at this 2) doing photography for her shows 4 newspaper#she got put on the no print list (list for ppl who are photographed all the time who need to not be photographed so others can be in photos)#bc she specifically was very very good at doing this and it resulted in really good & clearly readable photos#2 a lesser extent I do this as well bc of her influence I just emote less#don’t think it’s a stretch to say that it’s intentional given the implication that he’s so loud bc he’s used to projecting his voice while#he performs.#to clarify wrt emu I think if she was to express more negative emotions they would be more subdued.#unless it was for a role in which case she feels more comfortable not expressing joy 24/7.#i could go on a tangent abt ‘tsukasa doesn’t express his true emotions’ fanon when 1) he does. very obviously. 2) *emu* doesn’t but that#gets ignored. hello. nene having to tell emu it’s ok to cry and rely on wxs to comfort her.#even in the main story where she’s like devestated and blaming herself for wxs breaking up#she’s still smiling when she’s telling tsukasa that she made everybody sad and ruined everything (her view not mine)#mafuyu emu parallels… hm.#i don’t think emu’s ever been shown pissed off id be interested in seeing how she expresses that.#speaking of the it’s ok to cry thing if I don’t get that card when it runs on global I’m going to fuckin lose it. gay ass card.#this is getting long and I have stuff to do but as a side note nene & rui both hide their emotions#nene bc she’s shy & doesn’t show her true hater self unless she’s with friends#& rui because he’s used to being alone & struggles to identify his own emotions#at some point I’m sure I’ll ramble incoherently about how a lot of the issues ppl project onto tsukasa r issues he doesn’t experience#but *emu* does but nobody ever takes her character seriously so it gets ignored.#colopale do an event where nene encourages emu to b ok with showing minor negative emotions please please please
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
My Mom got legitimately angry at me for trying to learn Welsh because it “will never be useful/l, can’t learn without immersion and/or being a child, won’t help me get a job/learn for my career” so if you’re ever wondering why non-colonialist languages die not being able to commodify them is exactly why
#granted less than the population of my high school speaks welsh in my country#and i’m desperately behind on new tech and bad at the tech i’m supposed to be an ‘expert’ at#and i should really brush up my spanish#but she even agreed it’s sad we can’t learn something for the love of it & it’s like?? you just said it’s useless tho!#i’m not even welsh#lmao#i just want to sing songs properly and conquer my fucking auditory processing disorder#but welsh grammar is awful and i hate mutations hate it so had#not conversational welsh but still#been doing duolingo (sorry streak too bomb) for 2 1/2 months minimum but it’s so poor and the voices are so bad and it doesn’t show you#BASICS#like i’m learning more thru other apps and yt vids and moving onto c4c soon#it’s dire#welsh#cymraeg#cymru#duolingo#<- evil etc. but also bad course#also apparently the welsh govt is discriminatory and funnels money to language programs that fail (which is bad)#but straight up hating ‘non viable’ languages is so fuckin weird to me#endangered languages#welsh independence#<- let them out lmao#michael sheen#<- thank you good omens brainrot for forcing me into a new useless hyperfixation i will thusly abandon#language learning#memrise#say something#commodification#capitalist dystopia
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
feeling lonely tonight y’all
#i had an abundance of company last night#at least before bed#and then I was too tired to give a shit#but tonight I don’t even have my gf#idk I’m just feeling sad ig :(#I really want my Dom to pay more attention to me#and I figured out why#which is a whole tangled mess of daddy issues#y’know for not being involved in it at all that man sure fuckin wrecked my life#idk#I just feel like if i was better or more maybe I would be Special to my Dom and get more of his attention#which like not true#but my obsessive thoughts are making one hell of a case#I just wanna feel special and worth something and I wanna be spoiled with affection#and I want someone that’ll take care of me#and be the responsible and in control one for once#now I’m just rambling oops#personal
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
small talking to myself kinda post pay no mind
#I’ve been wondering a lot about myself and my place in things again lately#Been thinking about my identity and who I want to present as and how I act#Someone who I used to consider my best friend broke me down so miserably that I’ve grown to hate myself for everything-#that they would shit on me for.#It makes me think about when I was like that to someone I cared about#And it makes me really fucking sad#I’m proud to say I’m not that person anymore but knowing I invited it back into my life-#through another person that I continuously made excuses for#It’s like I felt obligated to be miserable as some stupid egotistic self righteous karma#And I truly hate that. I hate that I let it go on for so long because I hated myself too much to change it#It’s okay now but I still reflect on it often#I’m constantly wondering if I’ll go back to being shitty or if I’m letting myself be abused again#It’s messed with my view of myself. My view of my looks. Of my gender. Of my trauma#Of my humor. Of my tastes. Literally everything#I haven’t been able to repair my trust with myself enough to trust others and it fuckin blows man#It sounds stupid saying it out loud I guess#But I can’t keep bottling it or I might implode#I think that things will be fine with time and continued effort#Just need to spend some time really thinking about where I want to be in the future#I think I want to start therapy but voluntarily this time#Maybe a professional will be able to help me sort it out#vent#rant
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I dunno I’m trying very hard to not be a sad shithead online but it’s getting increasingly difficult
#it’s like I have this really vicious creature in me that wants to tear down everything it sees and drag it to hell#that’s how sad and stressed out I am#there is also the Nothingness that is the most prevalent#you know the first time I heard a stranger actually say to my face that they believed in me I almost broke down then and there?#was around the time I was first starting at my first job#had to fuckin excuse myself to the bathroom as soon as I had the chance so I could fuckin collect myself#even then I was Fucked Up the rest of the day#first time in a long time that I actually felt like a real life person to any degree#and now that’s withered and gone and I’ve returned to blissful nonexistence#at least the torment will be over eventually though. looking forward to that day. I’m so tired#feel like I’ve lived a hundred years. can’t believe there’s more Existence I have to slog through.#I’ll try to do what good I can while I twiddle my damn thumbs and wait for the timer to tick down though.#personal
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
if i said i’m thinking of adding to the crack the window ‘verse (proper series name pending), would people be into that?
#i’ve been saying i probably will bc i love this fic and this world so bad#i miss caleb!!!!!#i have writers block and i’m sad and i wanna immerse myself back into this beautiful world#i only have like a vague idea so bare with me tho imao#got the nicest comment on her earlier and i’m sat here crying about it#in a good way obviously#literally need to write stuff that excites me again and i fuckin LOVE crack the window!!!#she is my baby!!#my most favourite fic i’ve ever written!!!#my magnum opus#i don’t care if it’s egotistical to say#i’m just really proud of her <3#smashing through this writer’s block wall with caleb wambsgans-hirsch’s help#save me caleb wambsgans hirsch you’re my only hope#crack the window
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m very mentally broken and fragile rn so I’m making a new oc.
#personal*#jess talks#I love having life changing bad news dumped on me suddenly🙃#really helped cure my fragile mental state from being ill for so long🫠#anyway I’ve been pondering a daggerheart oc for ages#I’m making one with my sister for fun#and she’s almost ready#I’ve just gotta think of stuff for her board etc#but rn I’m doing her character info on her sheet#so stay tuned#she’s hella fuckin cute#and encapsulates all my emotions of this day😅#ie she’s v sad but v cute
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Found out my previous work deleted damn near every post I created for our social media🫠 guess I’ll be taking the link out of my portfolio so I don’t look like a liar
#they haven’t posted in over 2 months and spam posted 6 things WITH ZERO TAGS#I worked hard on it and got pretty good interactions and then they just fuckin Chuck all that work into the garbage#god at least tag the location to up visibility#SEO isn’t that hard#i’m just really sad#k talk#I’ll delete this later probably
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Outside is such a vibe rn tho
#it’s very nice and good to see some fucken snow up here in Minnesota#other winters im sick of the damn snow by now but this is just a nice treat#I hate the fuckin winter#but I’ve always seen it as a very necessary evil#and I am Very Uncomfortable with the winter we’ve had this year#like I am happy for not having to really have to blow the driveway and stuff that’s been REALLY nice don’t get me wrong#and I love walking the dog in the warm sunshine in February#but I’m supposed to be deep in the winter sads right now latitudeinally speaking
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
“If you had friends maybe you’d understand” is a super cool thing to hear from your grandma who you thought you’d had a really deep conversation with a couple days prior in which you agreed you guys were best friends and she was ���sorry for taking her anger out on you recently’, but she can’t actually follow through on the plans you made last week because she told her friend “at least two weeks ago” that they might go to the movies that day.
The “plans” was just taking my kitten 5 minutes away to the vet’s office to get his nails trimmed so I stop looking like I put my hands in a briar patch and get meds to deworm him because I can’t drive and we’re both worried about his symptoms.
So sorry your movie can’t wait and you can just lie through your teeth.
‘If I go, you go’. Right?
Right?
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’ve got poll ideas rolling around in my head so
#dex talks#ortega is my canon romance tbh but argent’s was really fun#chen’s just made me so sad cause I hate ruining this man life he’s had it bad enough#but also the angst is soooo gooooood#herald romance is#idk#idc for it LMAO#but thats just me personally#Im not all that into his character type in terms of romance as I enjoy him more platonically#tbh I’ve never done mortum’s romance before just because I felt awful flirting with her as my puppet#I love her character a lot to the point I struggle with making any possible decisions which may upset her 😭#I’m sucking it up and doing the romance now and she’s so fuckin sweet but I hate feeling like I’m using her GRAAAAAAA 😭#so in summary I like all of them except heralds LMAO#poll#polls#fhr poll#fhr#fallen hero retribution#fhr ortega#fhr mortum#fhr chen#fhr argent#fhr herald
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh, he’s mine now btw🫣🤍
#lila speaks#— lila’s loki boy🐕🤍#my brother said he can stay bc he’s happier here#and he wants what’s best for him#he would hide under the table and be really sad back home bc of the conditions#so until my brother moves and sorts himself out#he’s all mine 🤍#which if it’s any longer than a year#i’m not giving him back he can fuckin fight me#also say hi to tiny demon lol
6 notes
·
View notes