#I’m probably going to watch it tomorrow so I was thinking about it
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puck-luck · 3 days ago
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Ooh omg congrats on the 1K!!
I would like to request 5 of clubs with Jack Hughes please. (Maybe with an exhibition kink 🙈)
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This isn't quite as clubs-like or exhibitionist, but I've been feeling slightly out of the mood today (I think because I had to make a lesson about the American relationship with Native Americans during colonization... not the most uplifting topic). Hoping for something better tomorrow!
Also I'm watching a 2.5 hour video essay about One Direction's history right now. I love that people can make whatever content they want, and they usually give it their all :)
after typing that i'm realizing that statement is really meta since i'm writing nhl fanfic. sigh. ok fine i guess i enjoy my own content whatever
Warnings: fingering, exhibition, Paul Mescal in Gladiator II WC: 592
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You’ve never been one to keep trivial secrets from Jack. He’s your boyfriend and you are thoroughly against miscommunication. Your openness has resulted in plenty of fun jokes for Jack, the latest of which has landed you in your current predicament. You’re in the bougie movie theater that Jack always splurges on, sitting in a plush recliner and watching Gladiator II. Jack thought this would be a fun date night, because– well– you love Paul Mescal. 
It’s something about his nose. It’s very Roman, which you find sexy. Jack knows this, and knows that you’ve particularly enjoyed the costume design of the film, even joking with you about dressing up like a gladiator for Halloween. 
He hadn’t mentioned it again until this morning, which is when he told you that he’d bought some tickets for the film. It had actually been out for a while now, so the theater is relatively empty, but you’d never had the time to see the movie. Jack, after all, had wanted to see it with you… probably because he wanted to pull something like this.
He knows that Paul Mescal is your celebrity crush. You’ve been repeating that to yourself since you realized that it’s the motivation behind Jack’s movements. His touch had been casual at first, just tapping his fingers against your thigh. He’d convinced you to wear a skirt by claiming you’d be going to dinner afterward. You expect that his real reason is that he wanted easy access.
His fingers are inside of you now, petting over your walls. He’s teasing you, moving slowly when Paul Mescal isn’t on screen and thrusting into you at a quicker pace when your crush graces your vision with his presence. Jack also particularly likes drawing circles over your clit as he moves inside you, constantly keeping you on the edge.
“Jack,” you hiss, ready to try and convince him to stop, even though you only half-want his movements to cease. You’re flushing a bit, eyes darting around the theater to make sure no one is watching you. There are only a few other groups in the theater: another couple two rows ahead, a group of university-aged girls near the middle of the theater, two middle aged women in the front row. All in all, there are less than fifteen people in this theater. 
“Be quiet, baby. I can’t have everyone hearing you,” Jack murmurs. He shoves a handful of popcorn into his mouth, continuing his movements. He’s acting completely normal, even as your cunt squeezes him tight. 
You bring your hand down and clutch his wrist, trying to halt his movements. 
Jack turns to you. “Do you really want me to stop?” He asks quietly. Paul Mescal starts speaking on the screen and Jack’s eyes flicker away from you to check the screen. His thumb increases its pace against your clit and his fingers flex rapidly inside of you. 
You whimper a bit, clenching down involuntarily. Your knuckles turn white while your fingers grip his arm. Your hips jolt.
Jack quirks an eyebrow. 
“No,” you admit, loosening your grip and allowing him to continue. 
“Just pay attention to Paul,” Jack encourages, smirking at you and brushing a kiss against your cheek. “I’m just here to help you along, baby.”
You scoff quietly, cringing a bit at his words. 
Jack clocks your reaction, his face breaking out in a tiny smile. He giggles to himself, tracing the line of your jaw before mouthing against your throat. “Don’t laugh. We’re having fun. You, me, and your other boyfriend.”
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tomorrowxtogether · 1 day ago
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BEOMGYU: “I realized just how much love I have for performing onstage”
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TOMORROW X TOGETHER The Star Chapter: SANCTUARY comeback interview
2024.11.12
BEOMGYU says he spent the time he was out with an injury falling even deeper in love with the stage. Clearly, the idol draws on hardship to propel himself forward: Even as he talks about the hard times, a humble smile flashes across his face as he adds, “but it’s okay.” BEOMGYU—who knows that “sometimes you stumble, it’s fine”—knows what it takes to get back on his feet.
Season two of Workout ZZANG is really entertaining, just like season one. You seem really comfortable doing variety shows now. You’re really in your element! (laughs)  But you’ve also said that you’re not usually so energetic. BEOMGYU: Workout ZZANG is a physically demanding show. I figured out during the first season that people find it funnier when I’m really struggling. You can just tell by looking at the view count—the episodes where I have the hardest time always got the most views. (laughs) I realized not to play it safe and that I need to put in as much effort as possible. And I think my genuine love of the show makes that possible. I mean, it’s got my name on it. I really love how you’re always quick to make your guests feel welcomed, too. BEOMGYU: Because I’m playing host to them on my own show. (laughs) I thought a lot about how to approach them without making it awkward. I couldn’t do a total deep dive on them, but I tried to be plenty familiar with them. I even watched other variety shows they’d been on to see what kind of things they like to do. HUENINGKAI made a surprise appearance, too. BEOMGYU: It was great to have someone I have perfect back-and-forth with on. He was great at coming up with these quips, probably from filming so much content, like TO DO X TXT. He was a lot of fun. Oh, and the aerobics episode was exhausting, and even though it was really hot and Huening gets hot easily, he was really active during it, which I was grateful for. I was laughing, watching that episode by myself when we were in the US and I showed it to him and said, “Hey, this one’s really funny.” (laughs)
You talked before about the pressure you feel to be good on variety shows. Do you find you’re able to enjoy it a bit more now? BEOMGYU: I was worried right from when we first debuted about what special thing I could do or role I could play to contribute to the group. Thanks to doing Workout ZZANG, I think I’ve established myself as the one who’s good at doing variety shows. I was really grateful they called me back to make a second season, and I could feel that I’ve grown a lot from it. My friends I hadn’t heard from in ages suddenly contacted me to say, “Hey, this is really funny,” and the rest of the group said the same thing and wished me the best with it. I felt really proud—like I was being acknowledged.
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In contrast to your overflowing energy when you’re on variety shows, the very calmest side of you comes out when you do BEOMEDIO. BEOMGYU: Part of it’s about showing what I’m like at three in the morning, but the best part is getting to read what MOA sends in. Reading their stories let me visualize and indirectly experience things I haven’t experienced myself. I read them all through quickly and thoroughly before going live. There’s a whole lot of people who write really beautifully. (laughs) A lot of times I feel like I understand them so well that I get choked up reading them. And I’m always thankful for the ones that end with, “I love you, BEOMGYU.”
You said on BEOMEDIO, “When it comes to sharing happiness, the person doing the sharing doesn’t end up with less, and it fills the hearts of the people who receive it, too.” If you could share one thing that made you happy recently, what would it be? BEOMGYU: Honestly, this year’s been filled with a lot of good experiences. I’m making an effort to find happiness even in the smallest things now. There were minor things, like when we had our “Deja Vu” comeback, I felt great because the outfits were beautiful. I helped write the lyrics for two tracks on the latest album, and that made me extremely happy. (laughs) And I’ve been incredibly happy going to my favorite artists’ concerts and doing our own. I’d say there was more happiness than sadness this year.
Even though it’s been a year full of happiness, there was also a painful period for you because of an injury. I can guess how tough that was for you considering you were crying at the end of the concert. BEOMGYU: It was really hard for me mentally. That was right when I was deep into my work. We had this great schedule lined up, and as things started to fall apart, it felt like my mental state fell apart with it. And when we were at the Tokyo Dome, I thought, We’re at this place with this huge audience and I can’t even perform? It killed me. On the other hand, though, it also had a positive impact on me in a way. That was my first time watching the other members perform from offstage, and I could see how amazing and impressive they were. The place was packed, and hearing them cheer, I was like, I’m doing something really amazing—I’m working with some really amazing people. I found it really motivating.
Didn’t it also make you think about how you’re just as amazing when you’re up on that stage? (laughs) BEOMGYU: I thought, I can absolutely slay when I’m onstage, too! (laughs) I think the others were amazing and put on an absolutely flawless performance as just the four of them, but I have certain ways of expressing myself and there’s some breathtaking parts that only I can do, you know? I thought, I don’t even care if my foot gets more broken—I just wanna be onstage. I took performing onstage for granted, but as soon as I wasn’t able to, I realized just how much love I have for it. All the rest of them carried you around when you got hurt at the Tokyo Dome. BEOMGYU: It was really reassuring to me and I was so grateful to them, but in a way I also felt really sorry. When a concert’s coming towards the end, we’ve already used up so much energy that just standing by itself can be hard by that point. I realize how hard it was for them to carry me around under those circumstances.
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You said “We’ll Never Change” is the TOMORROW X TOGETHER song that made you cry the most. The practice period for it overlapped with when you were injured. BEOMGYU: It was when we had already learned all the choreo for Japan and were about to start practicing for “We’ll Never Change.” I couldn’t learn any of it because of my injury and was just staying in my room. But I said, “I really want to go to Japan. I want to sing, even if I have to sit,” and I sat in for lessons for the live performance. I felt sort of insignificant sitting at the back just singing while all the other members were dancing, and I felt terrible. I shed a tear or two at the back, but I doubt they would know that. (laughs)
I remember you said you were disappointed that your injury kept you from making the people who came to your concerts into total MOA. It’s really admirable how passionate you’ve always been about converting people into fans. BEOMGYU: I’m in it for the long run. There’s still so much I want to accomplish. Celebrities like BTS, IU, or DAY6 feel like celebs’ celebs. I feel like you have to see them in concert at least once in your life, and I want to receive recognition from my fellow artists and be the kind of person that they want to see in concert, too. I take pride in the quality of our concerts. (laughs) I used to think accomplishments didn’t matter all that much. I thought, as long as MOA’s happy and I’m happy, that’s enough, and that it’s better just to be nice and happy, but lately I feel driven to do even better anyway. (laughs) You showed off your guitar skills at this year’s Weverse Con Festival, which you practiced for until you got blisters on your fingers. Did that come from the same drive? BEOMGYU: It was no easy task. (laughs) I kept up my lessons online when we were in the US and even gave up my vacation to keep learning and practice. I love playing guitar, but it isn’t my specialty. Lots of people are pros at it so I was worried about the thought of me going up onstage and playing it, but I decided to just go for it. It’s difficult to master anything, and practice was the only way for me to make it happen. MOA loved it in the end, so I was proud. (laugh)
You’ve been going to see a lot of other artists perform lately. How does it feel being in the audience after being the one onstage? BEOMGYU: Watching things purely from a fan perspective showed me how joyful the concertgoing experience can be. One time I went to IU’s concert, and sitting in the audience at that huge venue and watching her, I felt how amazing a thing it is to be a fan of somebody and show them your love. I became determined to give MOA not just 100% but 150 or 200% at our concerts. (laughs)
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The last track on your new album, The Star Chapter: SANCTUARY, is called “Higher Than Heaven,” and it feels like it perfectly captures TOMORROW X TOGETHER and MOA’s connection, especially the part where you go, “I’ll hold onto eternity, our names / Let’s dream of an endless tomorrow together.” BEOMGYU: I thought those lyrics were absolutely wonderful. “Let’s dream of tomorrow together” sounds so romantic. Since we’re in our sixth year now, I think it’s time we focus on the future more than the past. What I want now is to keep looking toward the future with the other members and with MOA—to see them there tomorrow.
The part where you go, “What you doin’ to me?” in ‘Danger’ is a real standout. It felt like you were using a voice we haven’t heard from you before. BEOMGYU: I practically insisted that the producer give that part to me. (laughs) I said, “I promise I’ll kill this part,” and that clinched it for me. When I was recording it, I had to get the pronunciation and nuance to work together, and do it all in a really deep voice, so it was kind of hard. I couldn’t get the tone right when I looked alert and ready, so I tried making a pose like someone who’s about to start a fight—stuffing my hands in my pockets, tilting my head slightly—and sang it that way. And then I was able to really bring out the right feeling. (laughs) You’ve said before that sometimes a song doesn’t feel quite right until you’ve heard the group singing it, and then it sounds better. Are there any songs on this album that were like that? BEOMGYU: “Forty One Winks.” It’s actually my top pick—I loved it right from the start, in fact. (laughs) I always connect more with the songs after I hear them with the group’s vocals. The demo versions are good, but it really feels like a TOMORROW X TOGETHER song when you hear it with our vocals. You mentioned you were happy to write lyrics for two of the new songs. What was that process like? BEOMGYU: It wasn’t anything special. (laughs) I find it’s best to write lyrics as the thoughts naturally come to you and not overthink it. I worked on “Resist (Not Gonna Run Away)” while we were touring. I was writing like crazy on a three-hour trip to a ryokan in Japan and I think the lyrics came out well.
You said before that you tend to have an ear for what people generally like. How did you feel when you first heard the single “Over The Moon”? BEOMGYU: At first I thought it was good but not lead-single good, but I fell in love with it once I heard it with the group’s vocals. It’s got a feeling that can’t be described in just one word. It’s not just, This one’s upbeat! Or, What a tough image! It’s got a little bit of this and that and everything in it. It feels like “one of our songs” or “TOMORROW X TOGETHER-ish.” (laughs)
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You truly have a deep affection for the group. During YEONJUN’s first solo promotions, all the other members sent him a coffee truck and repeatedly visited in person to support him. BEOMGYU: It was the first solo work for any TOMORROW X TOGETHER member, and I knew how hard he worked on it. While the rest of us took it easy, YEONJUN had to be getting ready for it. I really empathize with how much pressure he must’ve felt. As a member of the group, I thought about what I could do and decided all I could do was go support him in person, buy him a little something, and go cheer him on. You truly have a deep affection for the group. During YEONJUN’s first solo promotions, all the other members sent him a coffee truck and repeatedly visited in person to support him. BEOMGYU: It was the first solo work for any TOMORROW X TOGETHER member, and I knew how hard he worked on it. While the rest of us took it easy, YEONJUN had to be getting ready for it. I really empathize with how much pressure he must’ve felt. As a member of the group, I thought about what I could do and decided all I could do was go support him in person, buy him a little something, and go cheer him on.
You recently wished on a sky lantern in Taiwan for the people you know to be happy, not for yourself. BEOMGYU: I really just hope that everyone I love and everyone who loves me is healthy and happy. I think it’s always like that. I’m more concerned with others being happy because of me than I am for my own happiness. You can sacrifice or give up things and still feel like, Okay, as long as you’re happy, I’m fine. It doesn’t mean I’m not happy. (laughs) I can take care of my own happiness, honestly. That’s why I wrote that. You have to be happy yourself in order to share that happiness with others.
If you were going to write down a wish not for the people close to you but just for yourself, what would it be? BEOMGYU: There isn’t really anything I wish for. I’m content with who I am right now. (laughs)
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secretswiftymarvelfan · 2 days ago
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The Demigod On Earth - Steve Rogers x Reader (Love and Thunder)
Summary: Thor pays you a visit and your family expands by one.
Word Count: 1.8k
Warnings: Light Angst! Mention of Character Death! Talk of Cancer Thor: Love and Thunder Spoilers!
Dividers by @firefly-graphics
Masterlist / Main Masterlist
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Love and Thunder
Summer was probably one of your favourite times of the year, especially now that you had less work over the summer vacation and more time to spend with JJ. Today Steve also had the day off from work so the three of you had decided to spend a day at the pool. 
You were just about to leave when a spaceship of all things landed on your front lawn. 
“Were we expecting any visitors today?” Steve muttered quietly to you. 
“Not that I’m aware of” you muttered back, you didn’t even recognise the ship. 
The door to the ship finally opened and you had your answer “Uncle Thor!” JJ exclaimed running off towards his uncle before you had a chance to stop him. 
“JJ careful!” Steve shouted after him before furrowing his brows “Who’s the girl?”
“Huh?” you hummed before spotting the little girl who looked to be a similar age to Thor walking off the ship behind him. 
“Little man you’ve gotten so big!” Thor boomed as he lifted JJ up. 
“Thor, I didn’t realise you were visiting today. Who’s your little friend?” you asked as you and Steve walked over to him. 
“I did send a raven, did you not get it?” Thor frowned.
“Not a raven no… did you send an email?” Steve answered. 
“No, ravens are more reliable and faster,” Thor said shaking his head “Anyway this is my daughter”
You choked on some air “Daughter?”
“Yes, I adopted her just a couple of weeks ago and thought we’d visit for your birthday” Thor explained nodding over to Steve.
“My birthday was two weeks ago” Steve pointed out.
“Oh my apologies, it’s been an eventful couple of weeks,” Thor said with a visible gulp, his voice breaking slightly. 
You instantly picked up that something was wrong and this visit was more than just introducing you to your niece “Um Steve why don’t you take the kids out to the backyard i think me and Thor have some catching up to do” you said putting a hand on Steve’s shoulder.
“But what about the pool?” JJ pouted. 
“We’ll go later or tomorrow, why don’t you show your cousin all the tricks you’ve taught Scout?” you suggested.
JJ’s face instantly lights up “Ooh yes c’mon!” he said gesturing to the girl to follow him. The two kids hurried to the front door, Steve following closely behind. 
“Remember no lasers Love!” Thor called out as she went, making Steve look back over his shoulder in shock. 
You gave him a reassuring smile and thumbs up “We’ll keep watch from the kitchen” you told him before returning your attention back to Thor “I’m sorry I just realised I didn’t catch her name”
Thor furrows his brows in confusion “I just said it, It’s Love”
“Right my mistake” you muttered “Why don’t we go get a drink and you can tell me more about my new niece” You patted him on the shoulder and guided him inside. 
Thor followed you inside and to the kitchen. You paused by the kitchen window looking out to quickly check on the kids and Steve outside, no laxer burns anywhere yet which was good. 
“Do you want a drink or anything?” you asked turning back around to face Thor. 
He shook his head and took a deep breath “Have you spoken much to Jane recently?” he asked.
You furrowed your brows at his question, unsure of the relevance “Oh um, no not really” you said shaking your head as you moved to sit down at the kitchen island “Not through lack of trying, I reached out a couple of times but assumed she was busy, why’d you ask? I know you guys haven’t been together since before the snap”
“Ah right well um we haven't but we crossed paths back in New Asgard” Thor explained clearing his throat as he shifted from one foot to the other.
“New Asgard? What was she doing there? Research?” 
“She was looking for this” Thor answers holding out his hand, to your surprise instead of Stormbreaker appearing, Mjolnir did instead. 
Your jaw dropped as you looked at the hammer, you could see the cracks from where Hela had destroyed it yet it had been fused back together “I-I don’t understand I thought it had been destroyed” you muttered in disbelief. 
“Me too, but turns out I put an enchantment on it to protect Jane so when she touched it, it healed itself and her” Thor explained.
“Her? What was wrong with Jane?” you asked shaking your head. 
“She had terminal cancer” Thor sighed, swallowing thickly as he looked down.
“Oh gods that’s awful, it’s a good th-” you started before your brain caught up. Thor had used the past tense, he had the hammer with him now and his demeanour didn’t convey happiness that she’d been cured “Wait… you said had” you said voice becoming thicker “What-”
“She passed” Thor answered without you needing to finish your question.
If you hadn’t already been sitting, you would have needed to because you felt yourself deflate at the news “shit… I– I- Thor I’m so sorry” you muttered.
Thor gave you a small nod before letting out a shaky sigh “Yeah- um I’ve changed my mind, you don’t happen to have any ale do you” he asked weakly.
“No, and you know that would be a bad idea anyway,” you told him with a sympathetic sigh, you didn’t have alcohol in the house full stop, with you pregnant and Steve’s hiccup with Asgardian liquor during the snap you only got it in for special occasions and in small quantities “come sit down and tell me everything” 
Thor sat down with a heavy sigh but to your relief told you everything that had happened the past couple of weeks. You tried your hardest to hold back your tears as he told you everything but with the hormones, it was a losing battle. 
“I’m so sorry you went through all that Thor, you did all the right things though and I know as hard as it is to hear it but Jane is in a better place now, she won’t be suffering anymore,” you told him softly, resting your hand on top of his.
Thor nodded “She’s in Valhalla now”
“Exactly, but please reach out more if you need me, I don’t want you to go back to that dark place” you said. 
“I won’t I promise, having Love… it’s something to focus on, a light in the darkness” Thor told you making you smile softly. You knew that Steve had felt the same about JJ when you were gone. 
“She is, and if you ever need us we’re here” you promised him. 
“Thank you sister” Thor smiled. 
The backdoor opened and the two kids ran back in, Steve following close behind with an apologetic look on his face. 
“Mom, is it time to go to the pool yet?” JJ asked as he came to a stop next to you. 
“Yes sorry, we’ll just need to get Love a swimming costume on the way” you told him.
“Yes! C’mon” JJ said getting Love to follow him, Thor went with them leaving you and Steve in the kitchen. 
“You okay?” Steve asked putting his hand on the small of your back as you stood.
You took a shaky breath and nodded your head, “yeah” you said your voice breaking, it wasn’t true and Steve definitely knew that but you just weren’t ready to talk about it.
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The rest of the day at the pool Steve periodically checked in on you. You stayed out of the pool on the sunloungers with your book which Steve could tell you hadn’t actually read a single page of. Whenever he looked over to you from the pool you were either looking off into the distance or watching the kids play with a sad look on your face. 
He wanted to know what it was that Thor had told you that made you so upset but he wasn’t going to push you. You clearly needed some processing time and he wasn’t going to ask Thor either.
That evening after saying goodbye to Thor and Love and putting JJ in bed, Steve found you in bed curled up as best as you could on your side. Steve climbed into bed next to you, wrapped his arm around you and pulled you gently into his side. You rested your head against his chest and started sniffling.
“You ready to talk about it?” he asked softly.
You sniffled and wiped away your tears “Jane died” you whispered.
“Oh,” Steve muttered, his shoulder dropping.
He didn’t know Jane as well as you but knowing she was gone was hard to hear. He knew the two of you were pretty close following your fight against the dark elves even if you fell out of contact throughout the years.
“Turns out she had terminal cancer, I just can’t believe I didn’t know, that I couldn’t be there for her,” you said shaking your head. 
“I’m sorry sweetheart, I know you would have done everything you could of, did Thor know?” Steve asked as he rubbed your back soothingly. 
“Not until just before,” you said before recounting everything that Thor had told you.
“Well as hard as it is to hear it seems like she didn’t want people to know and we have to respect that decision even if it hurts” Steve sighed as he held you close. 
“I know I just wish I had reached out more” you sighed as you snuggled further into him. 
“I understand, when people die it makes the people that are less behind regret all the things they didn’t do” Steve sighed “I regretted not telling you that I loved you more, I regretted everything that happened with the accords and that we couldn’t move into this house when I originally planned, I’m just glad I’m getting a second chance”
You smiled softly up at him “I love you too, every day for the rest of our lives” you whispered.
“I love you too” he smiled as he kissed you softly “And when we get an opportunity we can go visit and say goodbye” Steve suggested.
You smiled and nodded your head “It might have to wait until this one comes along but I’d like that” you said running your hands over your bump. 
“Sounds like a plan” Steve smiled. 
The two of you relaxed together, Steve grateful to feel you relaxing in his arms. He replayed the day in his mind unable to quite comprehend everything that had changed in less than 24hr. He had a niece now, something he didn’t think would ever happen. 
“I know we’re supposed to love family…” Steve started “But love is terrifying” he said making you burst out laughing. He smiled and laughed along with you, glad to see you smiling again. 
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skyward-floored · 6 days ago
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Gosh it’s kind of crazy how I can look at the film 101 Dalmatians and see exactly how intensely it has impacted my taste in both what I write about and read about and just generally enjoy in my media
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moonkhao · 3 months ago
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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emily-mooon · 2 months ago
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I’m kicking my feet and giggling abt it w you btw I’m solidarity
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I’m yapping about her over popcorn :3
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tomatoluvr69 · 9 months ago
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What’s up tumblr hope you had a super fun leap day. sparkle on. big news my first seed start sprouted while I was at work ✨
#might have to change the url bc I’m in my collard era lol#my day was alright#I ate some shrimp curry that I’d accidentally left out all night and was fine bc I’m a scavenger of a person#then bc I started to feel PMDD fatigue I laid in bed with great elan til my shift started#then I spilled coffee all over my work clothes bc I stuck it in a very sketchy travel mug someone left in our house at the last party#and I listened to Screamin Jay Hawkins on the ride to work which was fun#work was a bit chaotic but uneventful and got to spend a huge chunk of it outside#it seems I have way better ball control than I did when I was a kid. whyyy now. i was such a loser I could have used some athleticism#but I’m so glad it’s the weekend so I can go palliative care mode which is what I call my lizard brumation pmdd phase#and stopped by a friend’s house after work which was nice#really rejuvenating#then made a sort of weird frittata w/ beets peppers and potatoes bc I was too tired to actually cook#watched sense and sensibility 1995 and really liked it although I found myself wishing for a bit more anguish. sorry#and I think I might set out one of the frozen almond croissants to proof overnight so I can bake it for bfast tomorrow#will go for a very short swim but probably only about 30 min bc of aforementioned fatigue. then pick up yogurt and a silly little treat#and will have ****** and **** for dinner either tomorrow or Saturday which will be nice#but really hoping Saturday because **** **** ** **** lol#and then Sunday I’m trepidatious about because **** was like what are you doing Sunday and I’m like well I guess having a fraught and#difficult conversation about our dynamic! lol#I’m very lucky to have proactive friends who are good communicators. truly I do not deserve his kindness. but like. god. let me retreat and#lick my wounds!#i shan’t get into it. but just know I know how S&G felt#and then another work week but I’m starting to really get a feel for the routine and what works and what doesn’t#and I’m excited for my next few meal preps we got millet and kale gratin#and a Lebanese chickpea dish the name of which unfortunately escapes me atm#but my mouth is watering thinking about it. saw a vid and was instantly influenced and went to the pantry to see if I had the stuff and I#dooooooooooo#and I do feel like I’m beginning to get past the worst of [event] and its sadness
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bibleofficial · 23 days ago
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ok so man that i hooked up w like 2 weeks ago that i wanted to see for like dates: cancelled. i’m bored of him 😭😭😭
#stream#ALKSALKSALKSLAKSLAKSLA#like ok#he needs to let me know like EARLIER than 30 MINUTES BEFORE to see me#& u need to not have like#an hour SHARP to leave like i need more than an hour IF IM HOSTING !!!!! like i want ATTENTION after#+ i would’ve cleaned everything like an insane person#‘like an insane person’ u mean ‘bc ur an insane person’#anyway#i haven’t showered in days bc i’ve been compulsively cleaning until im so exhausted that i just pass out#like literally everyday#but i mean there’s no reason for me to leave the house bc u gotta clean & then i can’t have anyone HERE bc i got SHIT TO CLEAN so they don’t#DIE FROM ILLNESS & DISGUST & MY DIRT (a quarter of a piece of a small leaf that was tracked in at the door)#ALSKALSKALSKLAKSLAKSLAKSL but ok what’s so fucking funny is that IF SOMEONE ELSE says like ‘i’m coming over at 5’ & it’s like ‘10a’ i will#LITERALLY get everything done so fucking quick like i will be SONIC & then im right there ready to go like :D#ALSKALSKALKSLAKSLAKSLA but if ive to do it for ME irs like wow this is agony im going to die i should kill myself bc ur such a wreck stupid#anyway maybe i should talk to the therapist abt this bc it does Not Seem to Be Healthy#so he will be like ‘we’re going for about 2 tomorrow :)’ at like 1p that day & i agree then he doesn’t message me until like 1 saying ‘i’ll#be free in an hour x’ like#like i sent questions to him like ‘so what do u think abt xyz’ would u do xyz like gaming or whatever u know then he answers them the whole#next day idk it’s like ur literally expecting me to drop everything to suck ur dick for 30 mins & that’s just#it ain’t it#like ALSKALSKLAKSALSLAKSLAKAS at this point i’m just going to block him next time he does that 😭😭😭#probably never going to see him again i’ve never seen him since the first time#literally i was like ‘hey i’ll be free …’ for like 1.5week & then just gave up on that bc he never was or wouldn’t respond until late like#girl …. this is BORING ur DULL u don’t even DO ANYTHING as far as i KNOW 😭😭😭😭 he’s always like ‘at work :)’ ‘watching tv :)’ ‘cooking :)’#that’s it#like …. ok
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gregmarriage · 2 months ago
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i don’t understand ppl who leave their packing, until the last minute. i am already packing and i don’t go anywhere for over a week, imao
#*walter white voice* jesse we need to pack#imao i’m watching brba and thinking about packing at 2am#i actually haven’t started packing but i’m gonna pack all my clothes and just leave everything else until the day before#bc a lot of stuff i still need in the meantime#i also need to put pins on my jacket but that’s a separate thing that i keep forgetting to do#bc i think a lot of my best pins would be better on my jacket#i actually need to work out which clothes i’m wearing#like which ones to pack and which ones i’m wearing on the drive#i’m planning on probably just wearing sweats and a regular ass shirt#and i’ll dress up when i’m actually there#and i gotta make sure i have my meds all sorted#and i need to make sure i don’t forget anything and that i keep everything safe#this post is kinda just me talking to myself imao#but honestly they usually are#okay but like someone tell me to not to pack at 2am bc i can literally do it tomorrow during the day but my brain is like ‘pack now!!’#bc i have it stuck in my head#imao i’m also only going for three days but travelling is a whole thing with me#leaving the house in general is a whole thing with me#what may seem like nothing to some people is a huge deal to me#like wow you’re going on vacation for three days? so what?#but this is only the second time i’ve done this#and the longest i’ll have been away from home aside from when i was in the hospital#so yeah it’s a big deal#the worst part is the travel tho#when i’m actually there i’ll have a fun time bc i did last time#well kinda i also got homesick and was in the middle of a depressive episode but i digress#but this time i’m not! so go me!#gwen actually leaves the house and feels good about it for once!#gwen rambles#gwenposting
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starbuck · 9 months ago
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okay, i purchased like four books and a vintage photograph - i’m calm now
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shatteredsnail · 2 years ago
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i’m suffering from too many things disease. theres too much stuff i want to do or read or watch right now but i can only do so much at once
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monsterbroth · 1 year ago
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there’s two possums in the tree out the front window I need to go to bed but I really want to know how this plays out
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mywritersmind · 2 months ago
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GO OUT WITH ME - LN4
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summary : Lando doesn’t beg. But when it comes to y/n, he can’t help it.
listen up : nothing big to note! just cuteness
word count : 945
⋆。‧˚⋆
“Go out with me.” He says for the third time today, watching me swipe on my strawberry lip gloss. I pocket the bottle into my jeans pocket, crossing my arms over my black vest. I look to Lando who’s behind me in his papaya suit.
“Could you please stop bothering my friend?” Oscar says, sitting on a stool in his own driver's room.
“I will if she says yes.” He looks at me with big blue eyes, smiling. Too bad I have to crush his dreams.
“No.” I shrug and look back to my childhood best friend.
“Why are you even here, Lan?” Oscar leans his head back against the wall.
“What do you mean? I love hanging out with my bestie!” He stands, messing with Oscar’s hair. I laugh a bit and his face lights up, “Go out with me.”
“Goodbye Lando!” Oscar pushes him out the door and slams it in his face. “You know he will stop if you ask him, right?”
I look at my manicure, sighing, “Yeah, I know.”
⋆。‧˚⋆
Lando won. I go to a race to watch Oscar and everywhere I turn, Landos face is being projected onto some screen. I was there in Miami and now I'm here in the Netherlands.
I’m leaving the paddock when I literally run into the man. I told you he’s everywhere!
He’s smiling like I've never seen before, sweaty and laughing before he looks up at me, “Shit, Y/n! I’m sorry.”
“No problem.” I shake my head, “Congrats, by the way.” He bites his lip, his suit unzipped and water bottle in hand.
“Thanks! You must be a good luck charm.” he winks and I'm thoroughly reminded how attractive he is. I won’t go out with him but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate him.
“You going out to celebrate?” He’s walking with me through the hall.
“Nah I want fast food and a movie.” He shakes his head, a curl falling onto his forehead. “Join me?”
“Bye, Norris.” I walk out the door.
I can practically hear the smile in his sweet accent, “See you later, Y/l/n.”
⋆。‧˚⋆
I knock on Oscar’s door repeatedly, “Open up, Idiot!”
No reply.
My stupid best friend hasn’t responded to me all night, we had plans for me to cheer him up after his crappy race but he’s totally ditching me!
“That’s my room.” I freeze when he speaks. The British accent is one that I will not confuse with Oscars.
I slowly turn to Lando, “Oh.”
“Any reason you’ve come for a visit?” He holds a bucket of ice and a dutch chocolate bar. “Change your mind about the date?”
I pull my lips into a thin line, “No! I’m looking for Oscar.”
He walks closer to me, “We switched rooms. He's a level down.”
“Shit.” I roll my eyes, “You think he’s asleep?”
“Definitely. Seemed wiped after today.” He shrugs and eyes the bag I'm holding.
I was supposed to cheer him up after a crappy race, I bought all the Australian treats I could find, “Great.” I sigh. ”He’s leaving tomorrow morning so now I’m stuck with all these snacks.”
“Snacks?” Lando almost laughs, “Poor you, stuck with food.”
“Australian snacks! We were supposed to watch ‘How to lose a guy in ten days’ and he was supposed to complain about it!” I frown, I don’t get to see Oscar often even though he’s just come from break, I barely saw him.
Lando unlocks his room, “I’m sorry. I’d invite you in but I'm assuming you’d say no.”
“Lando Norris… Are you giving up?”
His head shoots up when I say it, “No! I’m respecting your wishes.” He opens the door and walks in, clearly waiting for me to make my decision.
I push past him and jump the snacks onto his bed, “Oscar told me you don’t like tim tams.”
⋆。‧˚⋆
An hour later I find myself watching Oscar and I’s movie with Lando. He’s actually really funny, and genuinely thinks this movie is hilarious.
I’m caught looking at him, “Everything okay?”
I nod slowly, pretending like I wasn’t just examining his face, “Can I ask you something?” He nods, “If I said yes… to a proper date- what would you do?”
He smiles, “Probably jump for joy, if i’m being honest.”
I roll my eyes.
“You know I don’t just ask you out on some whim right?“ He’s being serious. “I like you. I want to get to know you more.” He says it so casually but I can tell he’s nervous.
I can’t breathe, “More than just Oscar's friend?”
Lando shakes his head, toying with a candy in his hand, “You’ve always been more than Oscar's friend.”
“Then, yes.” I’m certain this time.
“Yes?”
“Yes i’ll go out with you.”
He blinks.
“You better not be joking.”
“I’m not!” I laugh and he puts his head into his hands, “Lando!”
“I knew you’d come around!” He points at me before pausing again, “This isn’t some pity thing, right? Just because I’m alone after I won doesn’t mean I’m all sad or something!”
“Lando.” I try but he keeps going.
“I did win, after all! And I don’t want you to say yes because of that either because it’s cool and all but I am more than a win also I swear I have other friends besides Os-”
“Lando!” I laugh and grab his face. He stops speaking, “I want to go out with you. Because you’re you.”
I can feel his heart beating, “That’s good.”
“Very good.” I agree. His smile hits me once more and I match it, “You’re cute.”
“I think I'm dreaming.”
note : race was TOUGHHH today😭 had to write smt happy to cope. loved it for charles tho can’t lie! hope you enjoy!
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actiniumwrites · 4 months ago
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if you're still doing requests: maybe one of the genshin guys finding out you use their card in tcg? scenario or headcanons is fine, and i have no preference for who you want to write! (i will say i'm fixated in the fontanians rn though)
the perfect pair
synopsis: their reaction to finding out you use their card in tcg
characters: tighnari, cyno, neuvillette, lyney, and wriothesely x gn!reader (separately)
warnings: nothing besides fluff and cyno being an actual maniac for tcg (he’s probably a little ooc but i think it’s funny)
notes: i’m ngl i totally forgot about tcg 😭 i played it SO much when it came out and then barely touched it unless it was for the primos. i gotta finish those achievements still 💀 also i know not every one of these characters has a tcg card but we can just pretend :) thank you for the request!
part two
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Tighnari:
Because he doesn’t play tcg very often — at least not as much as Cyno does — he doesn’t find out right away
When he does, it happens at a casual dinner between you, him, and all your friends after Collei asks to play so she can try out some of her new cards
Cyno enthusiastically agrees and you all set up after you finish eating which is when Alhaitham, whose eyes never miss anything, spots a suspiciously similarly looking guy on one of your three player cards
“You seriously have your boyfriend as one of your cards?” he’ll ask with a disbelieving smile, as if he can’t comprehend why you’d have it
You smile and lift it up, proudly nodding as you list off the card’s strengths and the nice backing it came with. You don’t fail the mention the bonus that it comes with your boyfriend’s face on it
Tighnari feels his cheeks warm in slight embarrassment as he turns away in his chair. Even so, he can’t help but find it really cute that you have his card
He even tells his friends to shut up and that they’re just jealous they don’t have his card and that they wish their significant others had them as cards
It actually shuts some of them up, shockingly
Meanwhile, Cyno is in utter disbelief that such a card exists and will try to buy it off of you so he can complete his collection (you don’t let him have it though)
Cyno:
Ah the king of tcg himself
He has the most dramatic reaction for sure. Not even in the sense that he’s embarrassed, or teasing, or whatnot. He’s just straight up shocked
Slams his hands down on the table and his jaw drops as he stands up. You giggle on the other side of the table at his reaction, watching him desperately try to find words
“Where did you even get that?!”
You swear you only see him this expressive when it comes to tcg
“I don’t know, I just found it at a local store when I was passing by,” you shrug carelessly, as if you aren’t going to completely destroy him with his own card in about five minutes
After he gets over the initial awe of seeing himself in his favorite game in the entire world, he’s actually very internally excited, although you don’t get to see that side
He thinks it’s cool that you like using his card and is honored that you’d even choose it in the first place, especially with only three slots (he’s also just happy he’s a main card and not a buff lmao)
And when you do destroy him, he slides you a pen and paper and politely demands you give him the name of the seller so he can track them down tomorrow
Neuvillette:
He doesn’t even play the game so initially, he’s extremely confused why you have a playing card with his face on it
“Fascinating. I did not know they made such games. Is my card good for playing?” He’s genuinely intrigued by it and you find it rather endearing
Because he doesn’t understand it though, he doesn’t necessarily feel any certain way about it. He’s too caught up in the game to realize what it means for you to be using his card
“Yeah, it’s pretty powerful, but it’s representative of real life so that’s expected given your position.”
At that, he feels very flattered. His cheeks will warm a bit, casting a light blush over his features when you speak so proudly of him
He’ll even ask if you have a card of your own hoping to take a bit of the attention off him when he begins to feel more excited about it
You shake your head no and explain that it’s unlikely given people don’t know enough about you to make a full card of you or to sell it
Will later get one made for you without you knowing, only one singular copy worth a priceless amount just so you could have one to match him too <3
Lyney:
Smug little shit
You’re playing with him and his siblings after he invited you over for a date. Lynette and Freminet were bored so you both offered to play a game, to which tcg was suggested by Freminet
You’d played only a few times with them before, which is why you didn’t realize what was such a big deal when you pulled out a card with your boyfriend on it, entirely forgetting it was new and you hadn’t used it with them yet
“Is that…is that Lyney?” Lynette asks, stifling a laugh as she inspects the card. Freminet leans a little closer too in order to get a better look.
And it indeed is, Lyney confirms for himself
“Woah no way, I didn’t know they made this,” he smiles at it, picking it up and spinning it in his hand before smirking at you, “I knew you couldn’t resist this handsome face, even on a playing card.”
You smack his arm faster than Lynette can and snatch it back out of his hand. Lyney pouts and slouches down into his seat as his siblings inquire as to where you got it
Lyney can’t stop staring at you as you tell them, his chest beating faster and faster as you embarrassedly ramble on about why you got it in the first place and how you thought it was cute like a little keepsake
Even though you’d been dating for some quite some time, you both managed to keep surprising one another and falling in love all over again, even if it was over silly things like tcg cards
Lynette sighs as she notices the lovestruck look in her brother’s eyes, “He’s doomed.”
Wriothesley:
He’s weirdly calm about the whole thing. Not like he’d be over dramatic or anything, but I don’t think he’d be as teasing or shocked by it like the others or like some may assume
Wriothesley thinks it’s really cool when he finds it in your collection one day after you left your card case in his office by accident, a few cards slid out with his face popping out on one tucked away in the middle
He’ll examine it before a gentle smile pulls at his lips at the thought of you using it to play against others
He’s almost proud, in a way
When you walk into his office a ten minutes later, realizing you had left your cards and a few other of your things on his desk, you stumble upon him looking at it
“Oh, uh you weren’t supposed to see that yet,” you say awkwardly as you pause in your step and fiddle with your hands, embarrassed he had found it. It was a somewhat new card and you actually wanted to show it to him later
But Wriothesley doesn’t care. Hell, if he had known there was a card out there with him on it, he would’ve bought it for you a long time ago
He’ll just kiss you. A nice, sweet, and to the point kiss as he slides the card back in your hand before pulling away and staring down at you, “You’re cute.”
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moonstruckme · 5 months ago
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roomate jamess 😭😭😭💓💓🤍😭😭💓
I agree !
part 1 │ part 2 │ part 3 │ part 4 │part 5 │ part 6 │ part 7 │ part 8 │ part 9 │ part 10 │ part 11 │ part 12 │ part 13
roommate!james x shy!reader ♡ 733 words
James gets the text just as he arrives home: Are you hungry?
He grins, putting his car in park as he types out a reply. 
I’m wounded. We’re coming up on our one-month roommate anniversary, and you still don’t know I’m always hungry? 
This makes a grand total of four texts between the two of you. You’d conversed a bit more on Craigslist before agreeing to let James move in with you, but barely. Your radio silence is much like your actual silence, but he’s happy to be making a dent in either. 
Your response comes while he’s fishing his keys out of his pocket. Sorry. Want thai?
James laughs, opening the door and toeing off his shoes. He calls in the general direction of your room, “I hope you’re joking about being sorry.” 
He’s hoping for maybe a reply via text, so it comes as a pleasant surprise when you appear on the stairs. You move like a ghost; if he put you and Remus in an old manor together, James is half sure it’d qualify as a haunted house. 
You’re in your pajamas, which means you must already be done with work for the day. James has noticed this is one of your habits; once you’ve decided you’re staying in the house, your outside clothes hit the hamper and you’re living in fuzzy socks. These ones, standing halfway up the staircase, are blue with white stars. Something about seeing you in full cozy mode makes James’ stomach twinge. 
“Do you want Thai?” you ask again, longer and in person. Several decibels quieter than he’d just been.
“Sure.” James gives you a smile, flopping backwards over the arm of the couch. He was going to cook pasta for dinner, but he’s a bit tired anyway and agreeing to the first bonding opportunity you’ve offered him takes precedence. “Do you wanna use my card, or should I pay you after?” 
“Don’t.” You wave him off, already typing on your phone. “I’m getting it.” 
“Not happening,” James replies. He starts digging in his pocket for his wallet, unearthing a half dozen gum wrappers and a receipt from last March. “But in theory, to what do I owe the honor?” 
Your eyes flit to him, something like accusation in them. James feels his eyebrows lift. “I know you don’t have that many leftovers,” you say. 
So, you’re onto him. “I cook a lot,” he replies with a shrug. “If there’s extra, someone should eat it.” 
“But why not you?” 
“Why not you?” he counters. 
You look suspiciously as though you might be biting down on a smile. A real one. “The point is, I owe you at least a meal. Do you want to see the menu?” 
“Sure, thanks.” He reaches out a hand. You come down the stairs to give him your phone, but once it’s in his hand your eyes narrow mistrustfully, fingers tightening on the device. 
“If you try to pay,” you tell him, “I’ll hide the money in your room so you don’t find it until you move out.” 
A laugh bubbles up out of him at your serious tone. “We live together, babe. I think I’ll come across it at some point.” 
“Not with your room as messy as it is.” 
Damn it, you’re right. “Fine.” James holds up his hands in surrender, credit card between his fingers. “But when I make dinner tomorrow, just eat it while it’s hot, yeah? Let’s do away with the pretense.” 
You sigh through your nose, sitting down beside him with one leg curled under you. You’re attempting something that’s probably supposed to be a glare. James would hate to have to tell you how unintimidating it is, but he may if you keep it up much longer; it’s almost too adorable to take. 
“I appreciate it, but you really don’t need to cook for me,” you say. “I eat plenty when you’re not here.” 
“I’ll believe it when I see it.” 
“That’s the point, James.” You roll your eyes, looking halfway amused. Shit, the day he actually makes you laugh he’s gonna have to bake a cake. “You’re not here to see it.” 
“Do you wanna watch a movie while we eat?” He passes you back your phone, having added his order to your cart. “They’ve just added a slew of new movies to Netflix. Also, for tomorrow, do you prefer pasta or chicken?” 
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xmalfoyweasleyx · 5 months ago
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Jealousy, jealousy - Azriel x reader
Summary: The whole inner circle is tired of you and Azriel flirting with each other, without acting on it. So Rhys decided to help his sister and Azriel with that, by planning a special birthday party for her. Based on this request.
Warnings: Smut! 18+! Az is jealous (but it's fluff)
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Azriel couldn’t stop watching you. Again.
You were sitting on the couch in front of him at the townhouse, silently watching your brother, Rhys, talk. Azriel loved watching you, your shy, yet clever eyes were always so observant. On top of that, you looked beautiful tonight. You wore a dress that looked like it was made of starlight and your pretty lips were painted in a color that made-
“You’re daydreaming again, Az,” Rhys interrupted his thoughts, making Az’s eyes quickly avert his gaze from y/n, to her brother sitting next to her.
“Probably dreaming about his undying love for Truth-Teller,” y/n smiled. The shy, yet flirty smile that always made Az go week in the knees.
Before he could even try to suppress it, a wave of warmth filled Az’s cheeks, exposing his adoration. You were the only person who could make him blush like that. It has been this way since the first day he’d met you, when you were teenagers, which is already centuries ago. Rhys only introduced his sister years after he’d met Azriel and Cassian. She was still young, but so was he. It wasn’t hard to fall in love with her. The way she was hiding behind her brother, shy, yet curious, peeking behind his shoulder at the two Illyrians standing in front of her. Suddenly a smile was on her curious face, and the first thing you’d said was: “Are those shadows yours? They’re very beautiful.”
Since that moment, Az was a goner. He never acted on it though. Too scared, too insecure and too worried he would ruin your friendship. It had been the same for years. The flirting, the teasing. But never more than that. 
Until a few months ago. When the bond snapped.
In that moment, Azriel couldn’t be any happier. It all made sense now. But then he realized, it didn’t snap for you. You didn’t seem to know. And it happened all over again, he was scared. What if you didn’t want him as your mate? What if it would freak you out? And what if Rhys would hate him for it?
“You’re still staring at me, Azzie” he heard y/n’s soft voice, yet again interrupting his thoughts. He looked confused for a moment, as if finally realizing where he was. “Oh yes, I'm sorry, you do look beautiful tonight y/n, you can’t blame me,” he smiled nonchalantly. It was always like this, the flirting and the compliments. It was normal.
“You look great too Az,” you returned the smile. Another wave of warmth heated his face. He quickly tried to hide the flushed cheeks, when fortunately, Cassian guided the attention to him. “So, what are we going to do for your birthday tomorrow y/n?” Cas asked. 
“Oh, I don’t know, I guess we could go out or something? Nothing special, just like we always do,” you answered.
Rhys clicked his tongue at that. “Nothing special? My dear sister, I think you don’t know me that well then. We have the perfect surprise for you.” That was something new. “Do we?” Az asked confused. “Well, now I’m curious,” Feyre smiled.
What Az didn’t know is that the whole inner circle knew about his “secret” feelings for you, only Az and y/n were oblivious. Honestly, his friends didn’t know how the observant shadowsinger didn’t notice how obvious it was. He always gets shy and smiled with y/n. It was a mystery how he didn’t realize the fact he had a lovesick look all over his face when he’s watching her. So Rhys, the good brother he is, decided to come up with a plan. The easy strategies didn’t work, so he decided to use the one thing Az couldn’t hide, jealousy.
*******
When it was finally the evening of your birthday, it turned out Rhys’ surprise, indeed, was special. Your brother had decided to take you all to some dance show’ but it wasn’t some normal dance show, you realized when you saw the poster hanging on the door of the club. It were only male dancers. Male dancers with not so many clothes, it seemed. “Now I’m really curious brother” you sighed. “You’ll love it.”
Your brother was right, it was so much fun. You ate and drank with the inner circle, watching the show from your shared table. They even got you a cake with fireworks. But that wasn’t the only surprise.
You were all cheering when one of the dancers came to you. He was muscled and had beautiful, curly blonde hair. Before you could process what was happening, he grabbed your hand and pulled you on the stage with him. The male put you on a chair in the middle of the stage and started moving around you, your face flushed immediately.
He smirked at you, showing off his impressive moves. You couldn’t help but smile at him. It was fun to let go for a moment and enjoy the silliness of it all. The whole inner circle was cheering for you.
Az on the other hand, didn’t like it that much. He balled his hands into fists, when he saw the way the male grabbed your hand and guided you to the stage. He gritted his teeth, the way you blushed, the way he was moving around you and even touched you… And then you smiled at that male.
Az had to muster every ounce of self-control. He did all he could to not just get up on that stage, and bring you back to their table. He wanted to be the one to touch you like that. He wanted to be the one to make you smile. 
Even after the show was over and you were brought back to your original spot, Az couldn’t shake off the jealous feeling. His whole body was still tense and he had a dark look on his face.
“Something the matter, Azriel?” Rhys smirked teasingly, grabbing his friend's shoulder, knowing damn well why he was acting like this. “No.” Azriel answered shortly, taking another big sip from his drink.
******
Y/n was so tired when she arrived at her bedroom. She sat on her bed, taking her shoes off with a relieved sigh, ready to go to sleep. But suddenly she heard someone knock on the door. It was Azriel.
“Hey Az, what are you doing here?” 
“Just wanted to say goodnight after such a… special… birthday evening,” he grinned.
“Yeah it was… something,” you giggle. You sat next to each other on the bed in silence for a moment.
“Did you think he was hot?” Az blurted out. “Who?” you asked confused. “That guy, the one who danced for you,” he grumbled. “Oh, I-I don’t know, he was fine,” you faltered. 
Az didn’t answer. “Are you okay Azzie? You seem tense.” You rubbed his shoulder gently, trying to comfort him.
“I didn’t like it” he stated. Y/n was confused. “W-were you… were you jealous?” Az only sighed, looking down.
“It was just, he was… he shouldn’t touch you like that” he tried to explain without making his jealousy too obvious. You were disappointed for a moment, he probably just didn’t like it because he saw you as his little sister, you thought. Because he wanted to protect you. “I’m sorry Az,” you silently said. “No, no, don’t apologize y/n, it’s my fault, I’m acting stupid.”
“I get that you feel like this, you see me as a... sister, you feel protective over me or something, I get it Az,” you sighed. Azriel looked up, his hazel eyes carefully watching you. He frowned, “Do you really think that’s how I feel about you?” It’s silent for a moment. “I was jealous y/n, very jealous” he finally confessed.
“Y-you were?” you stroked his cheek softly, fingertips tracing the freckles down his neck. Azriel nodded, you looked in each others eyes for a long moment. His pupils dilated, a hungry look on his face. Then the room suddenly filled with the smell of your arousal. “You want to… you want to show me what you look like without that shirt then?” you hesitated. “Yeah? You want that?” he smirked. “Yes” you answered breathlessly. 
Az slowly took his shirt off, your eyes tracing the lines of his muscles hungrily. “Much better than that male,” you sighed. “C’mere” he groaned, surprising you by grabbing your hips and lifting your body on top of him in one move. You were straddling him now, arms tightly wrapped around his neck.
And then his lips were on yours, hungrily moving against each other. He grabbed your ass, squeezing it gently. A gasp left your mouth, “Azzie, Az please.” You started moving against him, pressed so close to each other, yet it wasn’t enough. 
“What do you want, baby?” he whispered against your lips. “I want you.”
“And what exactly do you want from me? Tell me y/n,” he groaned.
“Your cock, I want to feel you in me, Azriel, please” you begged.
“So pretty when you beg like that, darling. But not so fast.” He wrapped his arms tightly around your back and turned you around. You’re back now against the bed, with Azriel’s body hovering above you. His wings were spread wide and his shadows were moving around you. Silently asking their master for permission to touch you too.
They helped him with getting you out of your birthday dress, the soft tendrils caressed your skin so deliciously. The shadows danced around your whole body, touching you almost everywhere. You felt a familiar heat growing in lower stomach.
The male above you spread your legs wider, placing soft kisses closer and closer to where you wanted him most.
You grabbed his dark locks in your hand, eagerly trying to guide him to your pussy. “Patience, baby, patience,” he calmly said.
His hands traveled up your body, gently grabbing your breasts, his palm stroking your nipple. “So pretty for me,” he cooed. 
And then he finally pressed his soft lips against your pussy, a load moan left your mouth. He started to lick like a starved male. His lips softly wrapping around your clit, sucking messily. He then wrapped your legs around his head, locking in his face in between them. He groaned into your cunt, “Azzie, yes, feels so good”.
Then you noticed that he was grinding against the mattress, trying to find some relief too. He was already so turned on, just from the taste of your pussy. “I want you to feel good too,” you whined. Azriel replaced his tongue with his fingers, the scarred skin softly rubbing your clit, “Oh I already feel amazing, baby, don't worry.”
You gasped when you felt his finger enter your pussy, stroking the soft walls. Your breathing grew louder. “Yeah, you like that?” He chuckled. 
It felt amazing, but you wanted him in you, you wanted him pussy drunk, feral for you. So you could only do one thing, touch his wings. 
You gently stroked the less sensitive part on the outside of his wing, testing the waters. He groaned, “Oh baby, you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.”
You decided to stroke a more sensitive part, making him grab your thighs harshly. Az sat up. “Come here, you dirty little girl,” he said huskily. “Do you want me to fuck you y/n? Is that what you want, huh?”
“Yes, please, yes” you whined.
“How could I deny that pretty face? My beautiful little girl,” he cooed, leaning in closer to press his lips against yours again. You helped him pull his pants down, his impressive length sprang free. You gulped. He was long.
"Don’t worry, if you want to stop we’ll stop” he murmured into the crook of your neck, kissing the skin gently. “No, no! I can handle it,” you claimed, your hand wrapping around him, eager to feel the soft skin in your hands. He groaned into your ear, “Shit, you have no idea how turned on I am right now.” You giggled, rubbing the tip of his cock against your clit, already soaking wet.
“Are you sure?” he whispered. “Yes, I’m sure Az, want to feel you” 
He slowly entered you, sucking your nipples as a distraction for the pain. But it was a good kind of pain, you wanted more. So you grabbed his ass, trying to push him deeper into you. "Don't... don't be scared, it feels good," you said in between heavy breaths.
“Needy little girl” he grinned. His rhythm picked up and his thrusts started to get harder. His hips slamming against yours
“You feel so good, this pussy is mine isn’t it? Only mine” he whimpered into your ear. “Yes, Az, my pussy is yours. I'm yours,” you moaned. Az started to fuck you harder, “Say it again” he demanded.
 “I’m yours, only yours Azriel” 
“That’s right, good girl,” he moaned, putting one of your legs over his shoulder. The new angle made you gasp. Your places your hands against his chest, your nails softly stroking down his abs.
Azriel was mesmerized, his eyes fixated on your swollen lips, the lips he couldn't believe he just kissed, and the way your tits bounced because of the force of his thrusts.
He looked so handsome like this. His messy hair falling over his face, his eyes half-lidded, the blush on his cheeks and the heavy breaths that left his mouth.
“I’m already so close Azzie,” you whined. "Already?” He teased. You nodded. “I want you to come with me,” you pleaded, one of your hands lifting up again to stroke the inside of his wing. Az moaned at the feeling, the arm that held him up collapsed beneath him, his body softly falling against yours.
His chest was now pressed against you, the position was so intimate. His thrusts started to get sloppy. “Baby, baby…” he whined softly in your ear. Both drunk on the feeling of each other.
His fingers circled your clit, making you moan his name like a prayer, over and over. The familiar feeling coiled in your lower belly, finally snapping when he nibbled on your earlobe. High-pitched moans filled the room, your orgasm washing over you like a big wave. Azriel moaned with you, his brows knitted together.
“Where do you want me? On your tits? On your pussy? In your pretty mouth?”
“In me, I want you in me Az, please,” you whined, craving to feel more of him, to be claimed by him. You wanted to be his the way no one ever was before. Az groaned in answer, heavy breaths tumbling out of his mouth. You felt him release inside your pussy, moaning your name against your cheek, riding out his high slowly. 
Azriel fell next to you with a loud sigh. His arms tightly wrapped around you. He placed a soft kiss against your neck and stroked your inner arm. “You don’t know how long I’ve been dreaming about this.” he confessed. “Me too” you answered. You should probably talk about this, but for now, you just wanted to sleep. Comfortably in Azriel’s warm arms.
********
The next morning, y/n was watching Azriel sleep next to her. Her hand stroked his naked chest while her other hand played with his soft dark hair. He looked like an angel, laying there, so peaceful. 
And suddenly, she felt a tug in her chest. A thread, a feeling like no other. Y/n gasped, making Az’s eyes open slowly. “Good morning” he whispered with a smile. Y/n only stared at him.
She couldn’t believe it. He was her mate. Her mate.
“Y-you’re my mate” she whispered. Az sat up immediately, grabbing her cheek gently. “It snapped? It finally snapped for you too?” He whispered, his eyes getting teary. “You knew?” 
“I’ve known for a few months now, but before last night, I didn’t think you’d want me” he murmured. “Oh Az, of course I want you, I’ve loved you since we were teenagers and met in Windhaven, I’ve loved you since I noticed the beautiful, smart and compassionate male hidden behind those shadows,” you smiled. “I love you” he smiled, kissing you softly.
An hour later you went downstairs together. The rest of the Inner Circle was already in the living room, doing each their own thing.
Rhys’ eyes immediately went to your intertwined hands, an unreadable look on his face. “Rhys, before you say something, I want you to know I would never hurt your sister and I am-“ Az quickly tried to explain. But Rhys interrupted him with a voluminous laugh.
“Finally!” He smiled, getting up to face you both. “I’ve been trying to get you together for the last year, but you both were so oblivious” he teasingly rolled his eyes and opened his arms, hugging you both. “Yeah honestly Az, it was about damn time” Cassian smirked.
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