#can’t get good photos because it’s really dark outside

[monsterbroth]

there’s two possums in the tree out the front window I need to go to bed but I really want to know how this plays out

[xervn]

like a french girl 🎨

part 1 - paint me | part 2 | art major ellie x dance major reader | ellie photo

ao3 link

summary: ellie had been struggling with finding the perfect model for her art final. that was until she saw you.

18+ MDNI | 2.2k words | tags; college au, pining, only a little explicit, no use of y/n, not proofread

disclaimer: not an art or dance major, don't shoot!

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Scribble, scratch, throw. This has been Ellie’s routine since she moved onto campus.

Why? Her professor told her that she draws the human body like it’s lifeless. Ranting about how they’re too one-dimensional and have no depth, her lines are too sharp or not sharp enough; flat and boring in looks and in feeling. 

Now listen, Ellie has nothing against criticism. She respects her professor and she’s aware that her drawings lack “vitality”. It’s been something she’s struggled with for a while now, an effect of some recent events and overall adjusting to college life. 

Ellie isn’t unable to grasp the anatomy of the body, in fact it’s the opposite. She knows the human body is complex and needs thorough observation. The way the sun hits the skin, the hairs on a knuckle, the creases of a smile. Wide, small, big, tall; no two bodies are exactly the same. 

Really, the imagery is so clear to her, but she finds it impossible to transfer the life and motion of the body onto a piece of paper without truly understanding the person. The way she sees it, every body has a story, and in order to make a good piece she needs to know that story.

Since art school is filled to the brim with inspiring, exciting, and vibrant people, she has, of course, tried to talk with them. She attempted to get to know the models, ask them general questions and hope something clicks. Unfortunately, that has yet to happen. She can’t really ask her friends either without it getting awkward. Imagine, “ Oh, hey guys! Can you guys get naked and pose in one spot for my homework?”   Hear how weird that sounds? Even though she’s sure Jesse would definitely be down, she values her eyes.

 Any “muse” she could possibly ever want was right in front of her, so why was it really impossible for her to find one?

 Well, because Ellie didn’t find anyone interesting enough. She’s not shallow or anything, it has nothing to do with how the model looked, Ellie has had several good-looking models. It was more about how she perceived them. It’s just that she hasn’t seen a model that made her ask questions like: “ How’d they get that scar?”  “ What does that tattoo mean?” Stuff like that.

The last interesting model she had was probably a fucking homeless guy she shared a blunt with outside a gas station many moons ago. Till this day, he might be one of her best pieces. There’s not a lot of moments like that here.

Nonetheless, Ellie saw this developing– extremely lame— personal requirement of hers annoying as shit. It’s holding her back big time, but she couldn’t help it even if she really wanted to.

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It’s practically useless to keep trying. The tiny voice in Ellie's head presses her to keep going, keep failing, but enough is enough. She is seriously burnt out and any more of this might kill her. The only thing that could help right now is a meaty slice of pizza and a blunt as soon as she thought of it.

Ellie clears out her desk, knocking the stack of crumpled paper into a conveniently placed trash can; a placement made from her constant trials and errors. She pushes up, and stretches widely, obnoxiously groaning like an old man by the end of it. She quickly tidied herself up, tying up half of her hair into a ponytail and throwing on a dark-green flannel shirt she had to sniff before wearing over her plain white tee. She takes a quick look into her floor-length mirror, making sure she looks presentable before grabbing what she needs to head out.

Just as her hand reached for the silver knob, Ellie felt this overwhelming urge to look back. God, she knows what she is going to look back at, but she really hopes she doesn’t. Unfortunately, her eyes land on her sketchbook, laid flat on the desk underneath a lamp’s warm light. She shouldn’t.

She needs a break. She knows she needs a break, but there is a twinge of hope, faith, lodged somewhere inside her. The same faith that’s kept her from dropping out every day for the past four months. Ellie groans as she drags her feet to her desk where she whisks up the brown book and shoves it in her tote bag with an accompanying pencil. She swivels back to the door and strolls out, silently praying her mood improves in the next hour.

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The cafeteria was surprisingly crowded, but Ellie managed to get her pizza without saying ‘fuck it’ to the line. Still, the thought of eating between this buzzing mess when she was in such a shitty mood turned her off. Thankfully, she knew that everyone would be everywhere but the upstairs balcony, especially during this chilly time of year. No sane person would eat out there, and she’s not particularly sane. Ellie saunters off to the balcony and sits herself at a small table facing the view.

It only took a glance around before she came to the realization that the view is not really a view. There’s only a dorm a few feet away, directly across. It’s a large brick-laid, generic building with wide windows. If it weren’t for the blinds, the view into a room would probably be good enough to read a label on something. Ellie’s freckled face grimaces at the thought, imagining what it’d be like if someone watched her rage as she messed up her homework over and over from this distance. Despite that, she thought it’d probably be a pretty good spot to live in. It’s close to the cafeteria and probably a lot bigger than her 1x1 dorm.

With a twinge of curiosity piquing her mind, Ellie glimpses over the windows, and for the most part, they are all closed.

All closed, but yours.

Yours doesn’t even have blinds. You’re on the 3rd floor and almost completely unobscured in a black camisole, sitting on your questionably roomy windowsill with a leg perched up. Ellie can see the fairy lights strung up in your bedroom, and a line of succulents closer to the window; ordered by size, which she briefly thought was cute. 

You aren’t facing the window, so she can only see your back. What she could see, though, is you doing your hair, occasionally swaying to what she can only imagine is music. Your room is high, but low enough for her to identify you if she had the pleasure of knowing you. Knowing you, reverberates in her head. Does she know you? Has she met you before? Amongst that babble, there is one more question she is slowly trying to gather an answer to. 

Time passes, most definitely shorter than Ellie would have thought passed. Her eyes have been glued on you the whole time, she even forgot about her, now freezing cold, pizza just so she could gawk at you. She still hasn’t seen your face yet, barely even a glimpse, but she already thinks you are stupidly beautiful just by the way you move.

From the graciousness of your movements alone, she thought there was no way in hell you didn’t know she was watching. At some point, your arms got tired, so you smoothly rolled your aching shoulders back; stretching into an arched, effortlessly perfect posture. Ellie’s eyes traced that slight curve of your back as if you’d disappear if she broke off from you.

There is no way it gets better from that, is what she thinks to herself, only to be shut up immediately after when she sees that perfectness of your back stay as you bend over and shift onto both knees to grab something far away, bringing your shorts in view. So short— so tight , they could easily be mistaken for panties. 

It was unexpected to say the least, Ellie could feel her face heating up and had to look around her to see if anyone else could see what she was seeing right now. Ellie wondered about the practicality of those shorts, wondered what exactly they were supposed to cover, leering at the plush of your ass peeking out. She thoughtlessly lets her jaw drop before muttering out a low, impressed, and barely over a whisper, “Well, fuck.”

You must’ve noticed your shorts riding up, since you quickly pulled them down after you grabbed what you wanted. Ellie clears her throat, internally scolding herself for being so gross— so perverted. Her brows furrow in embarrassment from all the dirty thoughts she brewed up in that moment. But for some reason, she still doesn’t look away. Well, there’s a list of reasons for her to look away, but she feels like ignoring it. 

Then a cold gust of wind bites past her face, clearly a sign from the universe that she should snap out of it, and snap out of it she does. 

What the hell happened to her? What is it about you that she keeps leaning into? Suddenly something clicks in her brain. After months of creative agony, something finally clicked. She has sat here completely fascinated by you and she couldn’t tell sooner?

In all honesty, to say she is just “interested” in you would be an understatement. Yeah, now she thinks you’re the perfect model for her final, but she wants to know you beyond just the drawing. A plus is that you just happened to be hot, and Ellie has never been attracted to a subject before, so the whole thing was new and exciting to her. Just the thought of drawing you made her remember why she loved art so much.  Ellie reaches for her tote bag sitting in an empty seat beside her, pulling out her sketchbook with more enthusiasm than she probably ever has. She sets the book down, opening up a blank page with one hand and tightening her grip on her pencil in the other.

She looks back up at your window, ready to sketch your life onto paper and..  Shit. You’re looking back.

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Today has been a good day for you, your teacher chose  you to teach the choreo you’ve been working on for weeks to your classmates. It was an obvious ego booster for you. You felt good and you wanted to look good too, even if you weren’t going out anywhere. It was just one of those nights. You wanted to experiment with your hair, thinking maybe you’ll do something new before your next practice. Dye it, cut it.. something.

It’s been a while since you started, and after several wrist and shoulder cramps, you were finally finished. You take a look into your hand mirror, peering at your reflection. You’re satisfied now, looking exactly how you’re feeling if you minus the dingy sleep clothes you’re in. 

♫ My heart, I never be, I never see, I never know. ♫

Grimes? Really? You pout, upset that your playlist didn’t magically read your mood. What you need is real 2000’s hot girl music. Britney Spears, Nelly Furtado, or Beyoncé for crying out loud.

“Alexa, skip!” You shout across the room, just loud enough for the device to hear. 

The stupid thing doesn’t even light up, so you call out a few more times but to no avail. Isn’t the whole point of that thing to be voice automated? You sigh and look around for your phone, and seeing it’s nowhere in front of you, you figure it’s behind. You twist your torso to find your phone behind you and luckily you do. As you pick it up, you casually glance out the window without any expectations. 

Did you see a figure in the blur as you looked away? You question your eyes, but you decide to take another look and just find out for yourself.

You peer back down and your eyes meet with someone else’s. The sudden eye contact between you and this woman instantly mortified you. Your heart sunk, and all you could do was raise your brows stupidly. She was surprised too, even in the dim light you could see her shocked expression boring back at you. Not only that, it went on for way longer than it should have. Any normal person would’ve looked away, but her eyes lingered on you before she hastily turned away. 

You’ve been sitting here, dressing up your hair, listening to your music without a care in the world. Far too absorbed in yourself to realize there’s someone outside your window. You slide off your windowsill and out of sight. Just as your bottom finally hits the wood floor, you feel the coldness of it against your skin and you’re immediately conscious of the fact that your ass was literally out at some point. 

The poor girl was trying to eat her food and you were bending over in front of your window like a harlot. It certainly didn’t help that she looked kinda hot. Did she? You peeked over your windowsill, hoping to get another look to really assess her hotness, but she was already gone. Whatever, maybe she didn’t see? But she looked embarrassed… embarrassed for you probably!

You hide your face in your hands and topple to the side, letting out a fake sob. Oh, god. You can already imagine Dina’s face when you tell her. You couldn’t help but burst out laughing at that thought. That was humiliating as shit, but it’s whatever. It’s not like you’ll see her again. 

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side note: if you have any tropes you'd like to see w/ this universe pls do drop an ask 🤭

click 4 more!

[hottpinkpenguin]

Easy Company HC's: Letters Home

A/n: I'm really rolling with these BofB headcanons! hope you enjoy :)

Characters included: Dick Winters, Lewis Nixon, Ronald Speirs, Carwood Lipton, Buck Compton, David Webster, Joe Liebgott

Dick Winters

Writes frequent, short letters

Meticulously dates his letters and includes a blurb about the weather. January 12th, 1945. It’s snowing outside, dark and cold. 

Starts each letter with My dear y/n 

Always asks how you are, even though he’s the one fighting a damn war

Follows up on every little question or story you include in your letters. How was the bake sale? Did you ever hear how Louise Graham’s brother is doing after taking that shrapnel to the shoulder? Hope you were able to get someone out to look at the washing machine.

Ends his letters with classic but sentimental sign-offs, like Affectionately yours and All my love

Makes sure not to include anything in his letters that would worry you. Doesn’t necessarily lie or fake being happy, but just gently side steps that. 

Although every once in a while you get a longer letter where Dick’s handwriting is a little messier. You know it’s from writing fast, you can almost feel the pressure behind the penmarks. He opens up more in those letters, talks about losing too many good men and sometimes will say things that just absolutely break your heart, like sometimes I wonder how all of this is really going to end for the men who are over here fighting. 

Even in these letters, Dick never says “I” or “Me”, always writes about the men and the boys. You know - and so does he - that he’s including himself in those boys.

His next letter he always makes sure to reassure you. And it’s genuine, you can tell. He’ll say something like I have to put some of these heavier thoughts somewhere, and there’s nowhere I trust more than with you. 

When he comes home, you find a stack of letters you wrote to him tied up in a neat bundle and stashed in an inside pocket of his Ike jacket that he sewed in especially for that purpose. You could tell by the flimsy, near-ripped creases and dirty paper that he’d read each one about a hundred times over. Buried in the middle of the stack was the picture you’d given him before he’d left for training. On the back, he’d written simply your name, the date the photo was taken, and a short instruction: in event of my death, please send all personal effects to with your home address. It made you sob but you never told him you found it.

GIF by mads-weasley

Lewis Nixon

Rarely writes. Actually drives you crazy with worry most of the time.

When he finally does, you can tell that he’s initially annoyed at having to put his thoughts down on paper. Letters start off with short, sarcastic sentences like nothing new here. Still fighting the war, in case you hadn’t heard. Enjoying German hospitality. 

But as the letters go on he relaxes into it and stops being so grouchy. 

Because he’s always grumpy at having to write (you should probably thank Dick for cajoling Lew into actually sitting down to write to you), he usually doesn’t write any sort of introduction or sweet address, just dives right into it.

His letters usually don’t say much, he just kind of rambles about how much he hates being away from you and how he can’t wait for the whole damn thing to be over. 

Sometimes he’ll write something so incredibly romantic it takes your breath away, like I’d fight a whole division of Panzers myself if I could just get one more sniff of your perfume. 

Those are the letters you save and reread to yourself over and over again when you’re waiting weeks for the next one.

Always signs off with something kind of sassy but also sweet?, like You know I love you or Keep our bed warm for me. 

Sometimes you feel like you can smell whiskey on the paper, which both worries you but also reminds you of Lew

When he finally gets home and you ask him about what he did with your letters, he kind of looks at you like you’ve gone crazy and says I read them of course, what else was I supposed to do with them? 

This hurts your feelings at first which of course he doesn’t understand, but after a few weeks you start to realize that he actually did read them and not only that he memorized their contents. Like he refers to your mother as “the Wicked Witch of Wichita” (something you called here after you wrote him a long rambling letter about how angry she made you at your sister’s bridal shower) and buys you a bouquet of daffodils because you wrote him a letter with a daffodil doodle in the margins of the page talking about the spring gardens. 

You realize that Lew shows his love in the little details, and it makes you appreciate him all the more.

GIF by beautifulguycollector

Ronald Speirs

Ron’s letters read like military bulletins. 

Doing well despite the cold. 1st sgt sick with pneumonia. Think of you often.

Writes predictably once per week. Never misses a letter. Ever. 

You always write him long, lengthy, romantic letters. Sometimes even a little raunchy, if you’ve had some wine. After one particularly *ahem* suggestive letter, you feel ridiculous and say so the next time you write.

In typical Ron fashion, you get a short, to-the-point reply, but it still puts a smile on your face and a blush on your cheeks: Loved your letter. Keep writing. 

Towards the end of the war, Ron starts a countdown to when he expects to be coming home. Two months now, maybe less. Home for the Fourth of July. 

Also signs off with R.S. Which makes you laugh, as if you could forget who was writing to you.

Whenever your girlfriends find a letter from Ron (you keep them all in a shoebox in your closet), they tease you and ask how you can possibly be in love with someone so stiff and formal. To which you can only chuckle to yourself, because you know it’s just that they don’t understand that Ron doesn’t tell you he loves you, he shows you. Writing a letter every single week. Updating you on everything going on, even short updates, because he wants you to know how he’s doing. That’s Ronald Speirs’ love language.

Maybe three weeks before Ron comes home, you start getting boxes of (stolen?) German silver at your door. At first it freaks you out and makes you feel slimy for having lavish riches from an enemy country, so you don’t unpack the boxes and you just stack them up in the back bedroom. When Ron gets home and sees the boxes unopened and shut away, he immediately asks you what’s wrong. You stammer out an explanation and without blinking an eye, Ron loads them into his truck and takes them to the dump. 

(Later you convince him that a better use of those would be to donate them to the local orphanage, so off he goes in his truck to get the boxes back out of the dump and bring them to shelter.)

One night when you’re lying awake, head on Ron’s chest, talking idly about things that don’t matter, he interrupts you to ask Can you guess which letter I kept? 

You instantly blush, thinking of that risque letter you wrote him when you were halfway through your second bottle of white wine. He shakes his head and pulls a letter out of his nightstand and hands it to you. You don’t recognize it immediately, although you do see that it’s too short to be one of the naughtier correspondences. 

It’s too dark to read, so you ask him which letter. He says it’s the one you wrote to me for my birthday. 

You don’t remember that one and you tell him as much, so you ask him why he kept that one instead of some of the others. He looks down at you with a serious look in his eyes, a little surprised that you can’t figure it out. Then he tells you: it’s the first time you wrote that you loved me. 

The next day, you sneak a peek at the letter and realize he’s right. You signed it, I love you Ron. 

From then on, you make sure to tell him that every night before he falls asleep.

Carwood Lipton

Formal, sweet letters. This man is a king of romancing by words.

Writes as often as he can, but you know that Lip needs peace and quiet for an entire evening to get one of those letters done (he probably definitely writes a draft or two before he gets it right). And let’s face it, Easy Company doesn’t have the luxury of many quiet evenings. 

Always, always, always starts his letters off with Dear (future) Mrs. Lipton, which you honestly think is hopelessly corny but it’s way too adorable to tell him so. And besides, you secretly love it.

He always reminisces about home in his letters. Tells you how much he misses the smell of your baking, the squeak of the front porch swing that you two would sit on and watch the sunset. 

He worries a lot about you and his family. He always asks you to look in on his mother if it’s not too much trouble. 

Lip doesn’t talk much about the war, in fact he hardly acknowledges it at all. And he never uses the term ‘war’ or ‘battle’. Instead, he says things like The boys over here are still committed to doing the job or Easy presses on.  

Lip’s letters get a little shorter and less soft after Bastogne. He starts including the names of the casualties in his company in the P.S. Even though you don’t know these men except by name - and some of them, not even that - you feel honored that he trusts you with their memories. 

Lip has saved your letters and all the pictures you sent to him - he loves pictures, and asks for an updated one of you almost every month - tucked in his foot locker and safely between the pages of his Bible so they don’t get creased or dirty. 

You also find that he’s kept stacks of letters from some of his men that died in the field. When you ask him what he plans to do with the letters, he gets a heartbreaking, far-off look in his eyes and says I reckon I’ll try to get them back to their families. 

You take on the burden of doing that, and you write to some of the families introducing yourself and introducing Lip and offering to forward them the letters.

All the replies you get back mention that their soldier talked about how good a leader and friend Lip was. Their replies bring tears to your eyes. For some reason, you don’t show the letters to Lip, although you do tell him about them. He never asks to read the letters, he just kisses you on your forehead and tells you that he’s never loved you more. 

Even after he’s home, he’ll still write you a letter from time to time, usually at Christmastime or for your birthday in the summer. His letters are always talking about his favorite memories with you, and there’s always a paragraph at the end where he talks about how in love with you he is. It’s borderline poetry and it makes you cry every single time.

GIF by balladofthe101st

Buck Compton

Basically just writes a list of questions for you to answer in every letter.

Wants to know everything about what’s going on at home. Especially sports teams.

Doesn’t write frequently, so sometimes it’s hard to feel like there’s a conversation happening. 

But he always includes sweet little notes about how much he’s thinking of you and how he’s counting down the days until he can hold you again, so you’re not complaining. 

Not the most poetic writer. Always says what he thinks and feels though. Completely honest and open. 

Does not tell you anything about the war. Basically ignores the entire thing. 

Sometimes you think about asking him about that, but you figure that he’s not talking about it for a reason, so you follow suit.

Calls you baby in his letters. 

Doesn’t actually say ‘I love you’ in his letters, although says everything else. Miss you baby. Dream about you all the time. When I get home, I’m putting a ring on your finger. 

One time he writes that he woke up last night out of a dream and swore I could taste you and it makes your toes curl.

You save that letter, tuck it in your underwear drawer. 

Signs his letters very simply: Buck. Sometimes he’ll put something in like until next time or I’ll write soon. But usually nothing super romantic or sentimental.

Doesn’t save your letters, but that really doesn’t bother you too much because all you wrote in them was basically just rambling details that Buck requested about your boring day-to-day. 

Buck’s always better in person than in writing - he’s a quality time and physical touch kind of guy - but you know that your letters were his only lifeline to normal during the war, and you’re just happy to have him back at all. 

He does surprise you one night when it’s really quiet in the house and you’re sitting on the couch together, each reading a book. He suddenly turns to you and says You know baby girl, your letters saved my sanity over there. It’s the most he’s really ever said about the war, but it’s enough, and you kiss him so he knows that you get it.  

GIF by balladofthe101st

David Webster

Unsurprisingly, Web is probably the best letter writer in all of Easy Company. 

He helps a lot of the other guys write letters home, especially if they’re trying to say something important. Web just has a knack for words unlike any other. 

He writes a lot of letters home, not just to you, but to the rest of his family, his siblings, some of his friends, and definitely his professors. 

So because you’re close with Web’s family, you do get to read a lot of his writing. 

His letters to you are different though. They’re darker and a little less polished. Sometimes, they frighten you a little bit. Web talks about things you’re not you really understand - like how pointless death is, how empty it makes him feel to see his friends get KIA, how he carries around guilt about surviving this long like an anchor. 

Refers to you exclusively in his letters by your first name, his writing is always serious and somber and drenched with heavy emotions, so pet names just really don’t fit the vibe.

He quotes poetry and literature quite a bit when he writes. It all feels a bit Gothic, but you’ve always known that Web has found clarity in the world through books, so you don’t begrudge him a little poetic license.

Signs his letters Yours in perpetuity, David K. Webster. 

Asks you to send books. Sometimes he asks for something specific, but other times he’s happy to get whatever you pick out for him. Your tastes are different from his; you prefer to choose shorter, gentle pieces about life in the British countryside or Western adventure novels. Web would prefer Wadsworth or Hemingway, but he figures it’s probably in his best interests to read things that don’t tackle dark themes. You always tuck a letter for him into the first few pages. 

He doesn’t save your letters, per se, although he does save every single book you send to him. When he gets home, he puts them all up on the bookshelf in his office. Even though they’re beat up and stained and not at all fitting with the rest of his collection, they’re front and center. 

Sometimes he takes a stab at sketching in his letters. He’s not bad, either. You try to encourage him to take lessons when he gets home, which he never does. He secretly loves how much you love his drawings though.

GIF by yourspeirs

Joe Liebgott

KING OF DIRTY LETTERS

You definitely like to re-read his letters… again and again…

Not every letter is a dirty one. But most are. Or at least have a dirty section in them. 

You don’t know how this man makes you feel wanted from halfway around the world, but somehow he does. Lord knows you love a lot about your Joey, but you didn’t realize how good he was with words until you found yourself practically stalking the mailman, hoping for another delivery from Joe.

Uses a lot of pet names in his letters. Baby girl, Doll, Princess are some of his favorites. Literally never calls you by your name.

Always signs off with Your Joey. 

Even when Joe is clearly in a dark place, his letters are saturated with how much he needs you and how he can’t stop thinking about all the ways he’s going to have you when he gets home. 

When your mother finds one of Joey’s letters to you, she throws an absolute shit fit and freaks out that you’re sleeping with someone before you’re married. It takes a long time for you to convince her that you haven’t slept with Joey yet, you’re just… really into dirty talking.

She kinda chills after that but still looks at you suspiciously every time you get a letter from him.

She never tells your dad though, which makes you think maybe she’s more supportive of your relationship with him than you realized.

After working up the courage, you write Joe a letter that is so sinful you actually doubt whether you should send it in the mail, it just feels so wrong.

When I say this man goes crazy for that letter, it is an understatement. He is out of his mind and immediately writes you a reply telling you so. Basically begs you for more.

Even though your letters back and forth with Joe are pretty raunchy, there’s also a sweetness to them. He’s always sure to mention that This ain’t just all talk, Doll. When you’re Mrs. Liebgott, you’re gonna see exactly what I’ve been writing about. Which you know is still pretty dirty, but hey, he’s basically proposing to you, right?

You are not the least bit surprised to know that he kept your naughtiest letters when he finally gets home.

But, Joseph Liebgott is a man of his word, and even though he is clearly dying to and you’re practically begging him to, he doesn’t make good on all those dirty promises until after you’re wearing his ring.

Much to your delight, you find that he is just as good with actions as he is with words.

[sadesluvr]

Platonic! Lemon + Tangerine Headcanons (GN!)

aka the babygirlification of two assassins (i literally birthed them it’s true)

You come across the twins as a civilian - in this case you work at a coffee shop. When they walk up to the counter you’re a little shocked, not because of anything they’ve done but the fact that one of them is bleeding. 

“Woah, are you alright?” You say, gesturing to the dark-skinned man’s shirt.

“What? Oh, I’m fine. I don’t bleed.”

It’s in your better judgment not to question it. The man next to him - classically dressed and spouting a moustache - sighs before smiling at you and ordering: one black coffee, and a hot chocolate with a chocolate chip cookie to be precise.

From behind the counter you can hear the moustached man mention something about his friend ‘eating all that sugar’, whilst he brushes it off, going on about ‘rewards’ before somehow talking about Thomas the Tank Engine?

The man isn’t even halfway done with his drink when you can see his eyes brighten, snapping his fingers with every sip.

“Ah, mate…You’ve gotta try this, init? That barista makes it proper - good layer of milk and cream, the right temperature for sipping…None of that hot water shit they used to give us in school!”

You smile to yourself, and once he’s done he comes up and thanks you personally, leaving a generous tip :)

The rest is history:

Lemon is the type of guy to come back to something when he enjoys it. When the Twins are in town, he’s definitely coming to your store, and you’re the only one who can make his hot chocolate. No exceptions.

From there you actually learn their names - Lemon and Tangerine. Tan is cordial enough, but you definitely click with Lemon the most

They ask you about your day, if you’ve been busy, all of that. It’s nice to have a familiar face in their line of work

Sometimes they stay until closing time, and if you’re shutting up they ALWAYS walk you home

Thomas the Tank Engine initiation rituals…The engine Lemon decides to give you is forever stuck onto your uniform as a badge of honour

Making fun of Tangerine for being grumpy and only liking black coffee… He orders a muffin just to shut you all up

“Would you two grow up, would ya? Can’t beat a classic Victoria sponge anyway.”

The one time you offer them to have a meal at your house it’s the sweetest thing ever: takeout or home cooked, they lap it up whilst they tell you crazy stories about their travels

They would LOVE home baked/cooked goods in particular though, it makes them feel 'normal' and like a family

They'll always bring you gifts from the different places they’ve been!! Ex. A Momomon from Japan or a snowglobe from Switzerland

I feel like Tan gets comically angry if he opens your fridge and sees that you only have oat/almond milk…He can’t get over the fact that it’s a ‘fucking NUT, it’s not proper milk’

Lemon using you as a parent, telling on Tangerine for everything- "I'm telling them that you stole from that vendor. You said you were trying to kick that habit, mate."

You figuring out that ‘outside contractors’ means something shady, but you don’t care bc they’re your friends

Tangerine is better with pets than Lemon, who isn’t really fond of them. Your animal will either love Tan or hate him, and there’s no in between

Being worried when they disappear for long periods of time :(

They're not the best at comfort (Tangerine in particular) but they try. Lemon suggests a relevant Thomas episode to help you get through it

Your watchlist is filled with animated/children's films

If there’s a stray/abused animal they find on a mission, they’re bringing it back to you. Surprise, you have a pet!

Them having your back. Tangerine is definitely beating up someone for you, and they’ll give you a bit of cash if you’re ever running behind on rent.

Them having a tiny photo of you in their jacket/wallet to look at and remember the good times missions <3

[bangchansgirlsblog]

hey hope ur having a great day!

could u possibly write an angst request with skz? (any member)

something along the lines of the reader having a terrible childhood and having to go through trauma and really dark days and maybe opening up to them about it?

ONLY IF UR COMFORTABLE PLZ

ig I'm asking for it is cause I'm not doing so well recently and just need to feel something lmao

hope that you're doing well, if not then a channie hug for u <33

Ready?

Warning: Angst, toxic relationship, Chan being mean.

Paring: OT8 x reader

Summary: shutting down the boys was easy but fighting her demons aka her dad was not

AN: someone requested something similar to this and I can’t seem to find the request so I just joined the two 🥺

Enjoy! 🩷

**

"Y/n? You okay?" Hyunjin asked her again trying to get her out of her trance.

"Yeah-yeah," her voice is caught in a crack. The hot feeling of tears starts to build up. "I'm fine, where are the rest of the boys?" She cleared her throat and put her bag down.

"They went to get some coffee, I told them I would wait here for you. Are you sure you're okay?" He asked one last time to be certain. He could sense her vibe was off but yet again it was Y/n. She was the most mysterious yet energetic person you would come across. Oh? And she's the youngest.

"Yes I'm fine Hyun, we should head for practice. We don't want to keep the boys waiting," she gave him another comforting smile before grabbing her bag once again and making their way to the JYP building.

The walk was quiet. Her thoughts were currently running haywire as she try to peace everything together but she knew today wasn't going to be a good day. The argument she had with her father still played in her head.

"So, what do you have in your schedules today?" Hyunjin interrupted her thoughts trying to ease the tension in the air.

"I just have dance practice with you guys then I get a break and you?"

"I have a photo shoot later after practice, kinda cliché themed." Y/n giggle at this. Hyunjin gave himself a pat on the back for making her laugh.

"Well, I hope stay don't make fun of you because that'll be more memes coming out,"

"Yeah, yeah, as long as I rock the outfit no one can bring me down," he flexed his biceps earring a gag sound from the manknae.

"Hyunjin that's gross," she rolled her eyes as they both entered the studio to find the boys stretching. They all said their hello's and started their practice off.

"Y/n get your head in the game," Leeknow scolded her. She had been messing up a lot today and now that they were halfway through, she hadn't gotten anything done causing the whole group to get lost.

"I'm trying okay?" She snapped back at him. Han's neck snapped in their direction as he looked at her in disbelief.

"Don't snap at him like that, his older than you," Han joined in the scolding. Y/n was tired and frustrated now. She couldn't deal with them hopping on her back.

"Okay whatever," she walked away from the both of them and sat on the floor by her bag trying to look for her water bottle. The boys were looking at her from a far trying to figure what was bothering her today.

"Hey Y/n?" I.N finally gave in and sat besides her to check in.

"Yes I.N?" She replied in her soft tone.

"You okay? You've been messing up all day-"

That was all she needed. That little push to throw her off the edge. Her eyebrows furrowed in annoyance and she stood up still facing I.N. Her anger was at a 10 and she couldn't hold it back anymore.

"I'm fine okay?! What is wrong with all of you?! Don't you see I'm trying?! Can't you leave me alone for once?! Why does it seem like whatever I do is a problem-"

"Y/n. Out. Now." Chan's loud voice shook the room quite literally. She stormed off to stand outside by the door. Trying to keep her cool but she couldn't.

"Don't you see this is a waste of time? You're a girl! You won't survive in this industry!"

"But dad I- the boys got me. We're making it-"

"Those boys will soon leave you just like your mum did. You're pathetic and a waste of space. You don't even bring anything to the table!" Her father's voice was loud through the phone.

"Why won't you let me to what I want for once?" She begged.

"Because! I spent my whole life working my butt off to provide for you and now look at you? You've basically become a stripper"

"Dad don't say that-"

"Well it's the truth."

Her father's words echoed in her ears. She felt helpless. She felt useless. She felt disgusted by herself.

"What was that?" Chan storms out the room. He was angry. It was obvious.

"Nothing-"

"What is wrong with you? What's your problem? You've been so moody all day and whenever we ask you what's wrong cause we know damn well we didn't do anything wrong, you start acting bratty,"

"Chan I was just trying to-"

"No, I don't want to hear it. You will go in there and apologize. Understood?"

"Chan! You never listen to me. Your always taking their side," she snapped at him.

"I know damn well you aren't talking to me like that. I've given you time and time again to come talk to me but you crush it off and decide to be a bitch to everyone. So don't even say I don't listen to you-"

"I'm not being a bitch, I just want to be alone,"

"Okay then be alone. Stop bringing everyone down just cause you can't deal with you problems, you better go apologize to everyone and you can head home," the tears in her eyes started to fall once he left.

Maybe she indeed was the problem. Maybe she needed to learn a way to cope with her feelings. Maybe she just needed to shut up.

She slowly took steps back into the studio and everyone turned to look at her.

"I'm sorry if I snapped at any of you, I won't do it again," her sobs were heard. They were so painful to hear that even Chan was so close to stopping her and pulling her into a hug. He felt so bad but he knew he had to stand on business.

**

At first Chan thought that maybe her silent treatment would last a day or two but it dragged and it continued to drag till it was the 1 week stamp.

He grew worried because he wasn't not just talking to him but she wasn't talk at all. She would only say hello and then continue with her day. Not even taking to managers or staff.

She would just nod or say small thanks you's or goodbyes. It was almost like the fight he had with her shit her up completely and this was eating him up.

The stress of the VMA's performance coming up and having to deal with his members made everything 10x harder to cope with.

"She hasn't been eating," Changbin informs Chan who lets out a frustrated sigh. "Should I just talk to her? Maybe that'll fix things,"

"She's so mad, she won't talk to anyone. Even I.N," this caused Han and Changbin to gasp.

"They're like bestfriends, it's like they were never separated at birth. What do you mean he won't talk to her?" Han asked.

"He came to me in tears yesterday because he attempted to get her to talk but she shut him down immediately,"

"Then you're going to have to fix this Chan. She needs you even though she hasn't said it. Maybe it's something deeper than your fight,"

"I know that for certain Hyunjin but how can I talk to her when she keeps avoiding me and walking away,"

"Just go to the gardens," Felix suggested.

Chan hadn't thought about it and quickly gave a hug to Felix who he praised for a bit and run to the gardens.

There she was. Sat feeding ducklings. She had a soft smile on her face. Her cheekbones were becoming visible because of the lack of food and the stress of the shows coming up.

"Y/n?" He said while making his way to her. She remained still and quiet. Continuing to feed the ducks.

"Can we talk please?" Silence. "Look I'm sorry. I'm getting worried and you not being able to talk to me means that there's something deeper going on. Can you talk to me please? I'll shut up and listen."

"My dad," she sat up and looked over to him. Chan in disbelief after hearing her voice after so long. "My dad wants me to go back home,"

"What? What? He can't do that. We're a team. We're your family,"

"I never told you about him because of how toxic he is Chan, he won't leave me alone until I'm home. Where he can control me."

"But your legal and your on a contract-"

"He doesn't care Chan," she looked up at him. The tears in her eyes started to pour like rain. Chan's eyes soften as he grabbed her and pulled her into his arms.

"I won't let him take you. Over my dead body." Was all he said as she continued to sob.

"I'm so scared. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you Oppa,"

"Shhhh. It's okay my love. It's fine. You did now."

He continued to comfort her until she could calm down. A constant apology left her mouth. Chan didn't want an apology he just wanted to protect her and he knew the only way he could talk to her was if she had calmed down.

"Have you eaten?" He asked her knowing the answer. He just didn't want to make it seem like he was tracking her consumption.

"I'm not hungry," her face was squashed against his chest making the words come out a little muffled.

"You are. You've lost so much weight. Let's go buy you some ramen and we can talk okay? How does that sound?"

"That's okay Chan. I'm ready to talk."

[misstycloud]

Not-so-serious ask but more offff how would stalker! Yan react to seeing reader singing very vulgar/sexual songs? They do the dance moves and say every.single.word. Absolutely no shame in them.

(Songs like: “slut me out”- NLE choppa) thank you for your time!💖

Oh, god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god!

The stalker covered their mouth with their hand to stop them from gasping out loud. They couldn’t have you hear them.

If you did, you’d notice them sitting in that tree you never liked right outside your window. It destroyed the view, you thought. Not that there was much to see anyway.

They had planned out their evening perfectly, go to your house, climb the tree as they’ve done so many times and snap a couple photos. Nothing more, nothing less.

Just a normal night for them, really. What they hadn’t expected was to see you through your living room window, singing a not-so censored song.

Inside your home, you repeated the lyrics of the song perfectly. You knew it like the back of your hand. “Ayy, rip off my shirt if you love me.” while singing, your body seems to have a mind of its own, throwing your arms out and stepping to the beat.

With shaky hands, your stalker lifted the camera up and pressed the button, a click emenating from it. The way you swayed your hips, and the way you told them to rip your shirt off. Oh, they could just die at the spot!

“(Y/n)~” they groaned your name and placed their palm over their heart; feeling how it vigoursly slammed against his ribs.

“Spit in my face when you fuck me.”

“I could never do that to you, my dear!” the stalker cried, “you’re too good for me, but if you want you can spit on me.” they said even though you had no way of hearing them.

“Play with my gooch, while you suck me~”

“Yes, I’d love to!”

“Eat the dick like you was ugly”

“Ah, I’m so terribly ugly compared to you!” a shamefully red blush dusted they’d cheeks because of your vulgar words, though there were not directed at them.

“Why you being so weird to me?”

The watcher froze up in the tree, together with all the green leaves as company. “I-I’m sorry, it’s just that…I like you so, so much…!”

You continued the song, unknowing of the dark shadow looming right outside your window, who had perfect sight of you and every single thing you did. You kept going, but they themselves appeared to be stuck on that line.

“I can’t help it! I like-no- love you! I love you. So, so, so, so much, you have no idea!”

It was the truth, they really couldn’t love anything or anyone as much as you. You were their entire world. Nothing mattered compared to you. You were their sun, the thing that brought colour and light to their otherwise bleak world.

That’s why they acted in a way most would consider…odd.

The things they acted upon wasn’t exactly what the majority of couples did. Normal couples don’t jot down their partner’s whole schedule. Normal couples don’t follow each other around constantly, without any concern for the hour. Normal couples don’t collect every single piece that had touched their partner’s body in any sort of way.

And normal couples definitely don’t print out photos of the other to cover their entire wall.

But it was all in the sake of love! Nothing harmful about that, surely it is all alright. Who could deny a young citizen with their entire life ahead of them a chance of loving something else other than their phone.

The stalker’s heart continued to thump loudly in their chest, making their ears drum at the feeling. They had taken all the pictures they needed for tonight and settled to listen. You had now gotten to the end of the song.

“Slut me out!”

Thump

“Slut me out!”

Thump

“Slut!-“

They leaned forward to get a better view of you since you’d began moving back in your home, making it somewhat harder to see you clearly.

“Slut!-“

They didn’t hear the crack sounding under them.

“Slut!-“

It was too late, disaster was inevitable.

“Me!-“

After another cracking noise, they glanced down to discover the branch breaking under their weight.

“-out!”

‘Crack!’

You jumped at the sound and quickly ran to turn off the music. You approached the windows and looked outside, but there was not a single would out there.

Only a tree with a broken branch.

[bloodismymedium]

I love The Painter so fucking much because it was the first analog horror series that genuinely frightened me, not spooked or even scared, but actually chilled me to my bones and filled me with this profound feeling of dread that I’ve never felt before in regards to analog horror or creepypasta. Every episode escalates the kinds of feelings that Spook intended with this series in me such as terror, revulsion and shock but it also gave me this unique, almost existential dread that I don’t think many other people who’ve watched it felt and the reason why is that this was the first analog horror that felt just so real to me.

I adore The Painter for how grounded and fresh it feels. It was the first analog horror series (that I know of at least) that didn’t revolve around anything particularly supernatural or out there like demons or possessed animatronics, it’s about an incredibly violent and depraved serial killer who does terrible things to innocent people, which you know, is a thing that actually exists and happens all the time in real life and the series is definitely not afraid to make you confront these real horrors.

I love supernatural elements and monsters in horror but I love them because I think their freaking cool rather than scary but people, human beings, that’s what your really supposed to be afraid of, because they can actually hurt you and UrbanSpook’s The Painter reminded me of that. I distinctly remember becoming super paranoid after watching the first couple episodes for the first time, thinking there was someone walking around outside my house tapping at my window when it was just the wind, and I was NEVER that jumpy before.

Mona is a very real kind of evil and most people who use the series’ shocking content as a point of criticism come off as ignorant to me because they are clearly missing the entire point of the series, it’s basically a documentary about a pair of violent serial killers who do terrible things, things that again, while exaggerated since that’s par for the course in the horror genre, are very possible and aren’t too far off from what real life serial killers have done which is why it works SO WELL for me.

I understand why people would find stuff like Fucktoy Cory and Jigsaw Baby to be incredibly tasteless, because yes it is but that’s the entire point, this series clearly wears it extreme horror and exploitation horror inspirations on it’s sleeves and I don’t think it’s fair to measure it’s value as a horror series because it has content that makes you feel uncomfortable.

Spook’s art is obviously another huge component as to why this series is so, so, SO good and I contest that it’s not just pointless gore and shock. We are never even directly shown what the end result of any of Mona and Bill’s murders even look like, instead, we are given abstract depictions of the murders through their paintings that gives us an unnerving look into the minds of these two twisted fucks and how they view their actions and although we are given vivid descriptions of how these murders play out, we still don’t actually see them and our imaginations run wild as a result and the paintings amplify the dark implications of what happened to Mona and Bill’s victims, it also helps that these paintings are fucking HAUNTING.

I still can’t bare to look at Breeding Mount May and the picture of Mia Collins from Lighthouse for more than a few moments before getting goosebumps. The “photographs” in MEAT are equally horrific as so the implications as to why the victims were photographed rather than painted like usual, the suffering these people experienced at the hands of our two killers is so goddamn palatable despite them being clearly charcoal paintings rather than actual photos.

Despite what critics say about The Painter being “the same thing over and over again”, each addition to the series does in fact bring something new to the table in how it presents the cataloguing of Mona’s murders, there’s voice acting, music, hand drawn animation and even different mediums aside from painting are used to depict the killer’s actions such as photography and we’re even getting live action footage in the upcoming episode as well! This series has a lot of variety in its presentation which helps shake things up and prevents each addition from feeling too same and repetitive.

Also, maybe it’s just me but I love the “these are the most recently discovered murders” format in general since I’m always morbidly curious as to what wacky shenanigans our two favorite psychopaths are up to next and I’m rarely disappointed.

I also find the criticism of this series supposedly having no plot to be funny because again, this series is clearly presented as the documentation of the actions of serial killers terrorizing their community, what more do you fucking need? Are you going to critique Jeffery Dahmer for not having believable enough motivations for all of his murders while you’re at it? XD

I’m honestly not even close to done talking about why I love this series and why I feel most of the hate and discourse it gets is completely undeserved/invalid but I think I’ve said what mostly needed to be said. I really needed to get this shit off my chest, it can be hard seeing so much negativity towards something that you love to the point where I feel I’m the only one who actually sees the value it has but hey, that’s the price one pays for falling in love with true art.

Make no mistake, The Painter is super cheesy and cornball like the exploitative shock and gore horror films that inspired it but it had a genuine impact on me that I didn’t think analog horror could have and I fucking adore it for it and I genuinely believe it has more substance to it than most people think.

Don’t let others stop you from enjoying what brings you joy in this life kids, that’s the lesson here!

[mouthfullofmunson]

Pest Eddie returns! :)

This time, husband edition!!

:)

Now that you are finally “settled down” and live together it seems like almost every time Eddie takes a smoke break outside late at night he brings in some furry creature

And not something nice

Like a little kitten or a dog with no owner

Opossums, a raccoon once, once he brought in two mice, he’s brought in spiders before, grasshoppers, worms, snakes

And he tries SO hard not to take no for an answer, but after touring you for almost an hour with whatever creature he’s brought in he smiles and goes “happy wife, happy life!” And takes the monster back outside

After to get married he’s very very excited to be able to officially call you his wife

Because well, he never thought he’d be a married man!

And for the first month of your marriage anytime you’re out he’s always pulling your hand up and showing the ring off to strangers “I’ve got a wife, no thanks!” And he specifically does it to old men, especially the ones who want to stair at his with his long hair, his tattoos, and his dark clothings

Or sometimes if you lean in and wrap your arm around his or even sit back down next to him after leaving your table to run to the bathroom or something he will make sure to say loud enough “what are you doing, lady? I’ve got a wife!”

Just because he likes to embarrass you as much as he can to see your cheeks get red and apologize to everyone around you

And he always get the same reply, “you’re such a little shit” between gritted teeth

Speaking of him being a little shit

I always just kind of think of him having a career as a tattoo artist, I’m not exactly sure why, I think it’s because he likes to doodles, and it fits him pretty well

But since he’s a tattoo artist, a lot of time before bed he’s pulling out his sketch book, just thinking of ideas for his flash book or maybe sketching a new tattoo for himself, or just doodling to doodle

But he will turn the sketch book over to you, showing off a sketch of boobs in the corner of his book “guess who’s?” And he laughs, slapping his knee and giggling

And he has definitely come home before with your name covering his neck saying “look, sweetheart. Finally got something for you.” And your jaw drops, trying to figure out weather to start screaming or book a appointment to remove it

“Is that fucking real, Eddie? Do not tell me that’s real I swear to god I’ll get the divorce papers”

And he starts chuckling, shaking his head “it’s just a stencil. It’ll wash off. I just thought It’d be funny! You should’ve seen your face!”

He’s SUCHHH a pest I can’t get over it

I can just imagine him coming out of the shower before bed, usually he’s in just his plaid boxers to go to sleep but this time he comes out in your pink lace panties and he acts like nothing is different until you spot him, and he turns around showing off his ass “I think they look pretty good!”

And when you’re changing, or when he sees you naked or half naked at all really he’s snapping photos, a smile on his pretty face while he snaps as many as he can until he hears you yell “someone has to develop those, you know! They have to see that!” He rolls his eyes, laughing and snapping one last photo before shoving the camera away

And when he’s on the phone with you he either does one of two different things

He answer the phone with “how are the kids?” Really just to throw you off and annoy you

Or in the middle of you talking he will give you a deep sign “fuck baby, keep talking I’m almost there.” 9/10 times you hang up and he smiles until you call back a minute later

And the most pest like thing he does

Well when you’re out with your family and he’s getting a little bored and feeling VERYYYY annoying he will randomly stand up, with a large smile on his face (you, already in the know of what he’s about to pull is trying to yank him back down to his seat weather that be in a restaurant or in your dining room) then announced that you’re pregnant- with twins if he wants the extra shock factor

When you and Eddie announced that you were getting married your families did not believe you at all and it took the whole dinner to convince them it was true, even with the ring they were still skeptical and you knew Eddie was to blame for crying wolf so many times

Shockingly, your family still loves him

And he lovessss to lie

He will come home, trying to hide his mischievous smirk while he tells you

“Nancy got married?!”

“Dustin got suzie pregnant?!”

“You slept with Steve?!”

“Mike and eleven got eloped?!”

“Hopper and Joyce broke up?!”

“I got fired?!”

“You’re pregnant?!”

And he gets you for about 5 seconds each time before you realize he’s full of shit and you throw whatever soft object is close enough to you

Well that’s all I have for now! Thank you guys sm for the support I’ve gotten on all my pest Eddie posts! You guys really seem to love our little pest 🥹💘

If you have any pest-husband eddie thoughts, I’d absolutely love to hear them!!!

:)

[oldiesstationlover11607]

I don't want them to hurt you - Frank Iero x fem!reader

Summary: Set in a high school AU Y/N and Frank are together. Frank is friends with Gerard, the school's bad boy, and Y/N is best friends with Mikey. Frank pretends to not know Y/N out of fear that Gerard wouldn't like Y/N, he's forced to choose between Y/N and his friends.

Relationship - badboy!Frank x Reader, bestfriend!Mikey x reader, bully!Gerard x reader

Warnings: smoking, bullying, angst

Before long the picnic tables are deserted and everyone’s sitting in class. The brown-haired boy sits behind me while his friends surround him, shouting and jumping around the class despite the teacher trying to get them to settle down. 

“Boys!” he shouts but is ignored. They throw scrunched up paper balls at unsuspecting victims in the front rows. I turn around and flash a look in their direction. It stops. 

“Mr Iero, Mr Way, Principal’s office now!” the teacher shouts. So Ray Toro and Bob get away with it just because they sat down early? Whatever.

“Who’s gonna make us?” Gerard says, receiving shocked looks from the rest of the class. Mr May looks around the room and stops when he gets to me. Fuck.

“Miss Dailey will escort you two. Make sure they actually get there Y/N.” 

He did not just ask me to escort them. No way. 

“She doesn’t have to–” Frank starts. 

“Now!”

I get up out of my seat, grabbing my bag and trailing behind Gerard and Frank. Mr May closes the door and continues to teach the class acting like nothing happened but outside Gerard is pissed off. 

“What the fuck was that?” he looks down at Frank who looks equally as annoyed. 

“I don’t know what that fucker’s problem is honestly. He’s had it out for us since freshman year,” Frank agrees with Gerard, like he always does. 

“I don’t even know why the fuck he asked you to take us to the office,” Gerard snaps at me, he’s always had it out for me. Everyone will hate you if you’re not them. The office doors stand at the end of the hallway but stop in front of my locker. 

“Be quick, I’m staying out here,” I say. Gerard just continues to walk without acknowledging me but Frank gives me a nod. 

I shuffle through my locker, giving it a good clean out and rearranging my books and photos. It’s been about half an hour and I’ve heard nothing. My phone buzzes in my pocket and pulling it out, a name flashes across the screen. The drained look on my face immediately disappears as I close my locker and head to an empty classroom. 

“What did she say?” I ask, closing the door.

“That’s what you ask me when we get a second of alone time?” he moves closer to me, giving me a kiss. Frankie. My Frank. Well, at least outside of school.

“Hi,” I smile, running a hand through his hair. 

“Hi baby.”

“What did she say?” I look into his eyes, dark and strained, the opposite of the loving Frank I know.

“Blamed Gerard for being a bad influence, let me go with a warning. I don’t even want to know what she’s saying to him right now,” he says. “I saw you this morning, you looked like you didn’t want to be here.”

“You know me. I saw you smoking and then darting off once the history teacher showed up. It was kind of funny,” I laugh. 

“Oh shut up. I lost my joint because of it.” 

We end up sitting on the far side of the room and I hold his hand. I hate not being able to properly spend time with him during the day. His friends don’t like me and I don’t belong with most of the people in our grade but that’s just the reality of high school. 

“How long are we going to keep doing this Frankie?” I ask, letting out a sigh. 

“Doing what?” He sits up and looks over at me, scanning my expression. 

“I can’t act like I don’t know you in front of everyone, it hurts me. I’ve got Mikey, yeah and he knows and stuff but I can’t keep pretending I don’t love you.”

He looks hurt. It’s been hard for both of us, it really has. I see the way he looks at me when we sit in class, I feel his feet playfully kicking mine under the desks. He loves me, he just doesn’t want to give up his friends. I get that, I really do, I just wish we could properly be together. 

“You know I can’t give up my friends.”

“What makes you think being with me would force you to give them up?” I ask. 

“I can't see you anymore,” he bursts. 

No. 

“Why? Because you think that they’re more important?” 

“I can’t, I don’t want them to hurt you,” Frankie looks over at me with a frown.

Gerard enters the room, looking slightly amused post-telling off.

“What did she do this time?” Frank asks, trying to change the topic, he quickly moves further away from me, unnoticeable for Gerard but obvious for me. 

“She just called my mom, and got yelled at as usual,” he laughs. I let a small chuckle escape my lips, unfortunately for me it was noticed by Gerard. 

“What’s got you laughing? You think this is funny?” He stands up and walks over to me, forcing me to stand up. 

“It seemed appropriate,” I say, arms crossed. I’m going to stand my ground, there’s no way some stupid bully is going to make me feel bad. 

“Would you shut up? Don’t talk to us and don’t even for once think that you’re ever going to be able to laugh or spend time with us. I don’t like you, we don’t like you and I certainly don’t need some stupid bitch thinking she’s cool to hang around us,” Gerard snaps. I take a step back in shock, my back laying flat against the cold concrete wall. It feels like jail, like I’m being forced into a corner and threatened with death. A desperate look flashes across my face, aimed at Frank who isn’t even paying attention. “Do you think he’s going to help you? You think Frank’s just going to make sure your feelings don’t get hurt?” Frank looks up at me and frowns. 

“He’s right.” 

He did not just take his side. He did not just say that and he did not just blindside me. 

“Sure he is Frank. I’m leaving,” moving around Gerard, I leave the room and get ready for lunch with Mikey. 

“He did not say that!” he gasps in shock. 

“He did.” Mikey sits there, his jaw on the floor.

“But he… you’re supposed to be… what?” he’s speechless, “but Gerard’s a dick, there’s no way Frank just let Gerard tell him what to do.” But he did. He just stood there acting like someone he’s not just so he can stay friends with the meanest boy in school. 

“Speak of the devil,” Mikey mutters and I turn around to see Frank walking over to us. 

“What the fuck do you want?” I ask, turning to face him. Gerard stands not far away, watching.

“I can’t, I can’t see you anymore.” 

“Why?” I ask, my head feeling light and stomach feeling heavy. I’d forgotten that he said that earlier.

“I can’t, I don’t want him to hurt you. He thinks I’m over here telling Mikey that he can’t drive him home after school,” he looks mildly disappointed compared to the anger and rage plastered over Mikey’s face. Mikey’s reaction is surprising, the quiet nerd boy actually pissed off for once. 

“You know what Frank? You’re a dick. If you can’t understand that Y/N is an amazing, creative soul then you really don’t deserve to be with her at all. And yeah, my brother’s a bitch and a bully and shit but you don’t throw away the girl you’re supposed to fucking love because of your douche bag friends.” That’s the most I’ve ever heard Mikey talk at once. 

Frank’s speechless. He just stands there while Mikey continues to snap at him. 

“Mikey! What are you doing yelling at my friend here?” Gerard shouts walking over to us. Great. 

“Gerard,” Mikey nods at his brother, who towers over us. 

“Who’s this? New girlfriend?” Gerard asks without even looking at me. 

“Gee. Y/N and I have been friends since the second grade. You know her. She’s got a boyfriend anyways,” Mikey looks at Frank who again, says nothing. I say nothing. Just let the two Way brothers talk to each other. I lose track of what they’re saying, zoning out, staring at the ground. Mikey stands up but that’s all I notice. Anything said goes in one ear and out the other, the tension driving my anxiety to the ground. Frank’s not doing anything, of course he isn’t. 

“Y/N?” Mikey shakes me gently. 

“Hmm?” I tilt my head, confused at the events unfolding in front of me. 

“Are you okay?” Frank asks, crouching down next to me.

“I-I… what?” I’m confused, my entire body is confused. Gerard is still standing over me. My face feels damp. “I-have I been crying?” 

“Absolutely weeping,” Gerard laughs. Frankie wipes the salty streams off my face. 

“He’s laughing at me?” I ask, looking up at Gerard. Mikey moves around closer to me, grabbing hold of my hand. 

“You need to tell him, Frank.”

“Tell me what?” Gerard crosses his arms and stares at Frank, who shakes his head. 

“I can’t.”

“You’ve been lying to me?” Gerard says. Tell him the truth Frank. Do it. Please. Be the guy I know you are. 

“I-she-Y/N and I. We-uh… Y/N is my girlfriend. We’ve been together for about a year now. I didn’t tell you because you were always mean to her and I didn’t want to mess things up,” Frank mumbles. Gerard just stands there, he looks like he’s processing a multitude of things. He turns to his brother. 

“You knew about this too?” Mikey nods. 

“We didn’t want her to get hurt,” he says. Gerard looks at me, up and down and back again. 

“You’re not what I expected you know. The kind of girl that both my brother and best friend would like. If they like you then I don’t really have much of a choice. A friend of my brothers is a friend of mine I guess,” Gerard says. 

“Wait what?” Frank says looking up at him, “You’re not joking?” He looks shocked. 

“No? I’ve got no problem with you dating anyone Frank.”

“Well good then,” Mikey butts in, “if you two will leave us, we were in the middle of a major gossip session about the two of you.”

“Okay, okay, we’ll leave,” Frank laughs, giving me a small peck on the lips. He seems relaxed, more comfortable than usual. The two boys turn around and walk back to their friends. 

“So, guess I finally sorted out your problems, Dailey.”

“Guess you did,” I smile. 

//

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[e-dubbc11]

Can’t Sleep

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google

Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: None really, quick mention of Billy’s nightmares, pure fluff, all the unicorns

Word Count: 1.1k-ish

Summary: You tried everything but you just can’t stay asleep, maybe your love can help.

A/N: I know I’m due for some angst but this isn’t it, I’ll come up with something though! Just another little thought that popped into my brain. I have problems sleeping so having Billy there to help me go to sleep sounds like perfection.

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

You had done everything you could to ensure you would get a good night's sleep.

The hot water from the bath hugged your entire body as it washed over your soft skin while the scent of your lavender bath oil helped to relax you.

With your tired head resting against your inflatable bath pillow, a wide smile played across your lips remembering that Billy was the one who gave you that pillow. He was so surprised at your reaction to something so simple.

“It’s just a cheap inflatable pillow, baby. But I know how much you love your baths, so I just had to get it for you.” Billy had said, with a blur of a smile on his handsome face.

It was just really nice to have someone think of you when they didn’t have to.

The steamy sleepy time tea tentatively touched your lips before you took a sip, it trickled down your throat as you calmly read your book until your eyelids became heavy with sleep.

The tea in your stomach warmed the rest of your body and even though you didn’t want to because he wasn’t home yet, it was getting late and you had to get up early for work in the morning, so you decided it was time to go to bed.

Your problem had never been falling asleep, your problem was always trying to stay asleep. Everything you had done earlier that evening was to make sure you would stay asleep. All of that effort and your eyes just wouldn’t stay closed.

Shades of black and navy blanketed the night sky and the stars sparkled like a carpet of diamonds behind the delicate glow of the full moon.

You were awoken by the sounds of the howling winds fiercely blowing past the slightly open window and as you stared up at the ceiling in the gathering darkness, you realized you weren’t going to be able to fall back asleep.

The fresh autumn air cut through the silence of the penthouse, blowing the bedroom curtains away from the windows and skirting across your once warm skin now chilled to the bone and peppered with goosebumps.

Billy had arrived home during the couple of hours you had been asleep and because he was so light on his feet, you never heard him come home.

Tossing, turning, and shuffling around in bed, you tried to find a position that would suit you to try and drift off to sleep. Nothing was working and you were becoming frustrated.

There were few things in this world you hated more than not sleeping and as the minutes ticked away, your heart rate began to rise so rather than have the pillow just cradle your head and listen to the steady wind outside your windows, you just decided to get out of bed.

Behind the slight crack in the bedroom doorway, a dim light shone from downstairs. It was coming from the lamp on the end table in the living room.

Billy must be home.

A slight smile stretched across your lips as you tiptoed down the stairs in your bare feet and apparently you were not as light on your feet as you thought you were, or Billy just had very acute hearing. Maybe it was a little bit of both.

Along with the low light from the lamp, the brighter glare came from Billy’s laptop. With his feet planted firmly on the coffee table, you could tell he was concentrating intently on his work. His slender silhouette on display from behind the screen of his computer as his head turned slightly to the side when he heard the balls of your feet touch each step on the way down.

The large clock on the wall displayed a few minutes before midnight.

It was almost as if you could hear him smile. “Hey beautiful. What are ya doin’ awake?” He asked.

As you stepped toward him, you looked closer at his appearance. His suit jacket was draped over the back of the kitchen chair, the black tie was loose around his neck with his crisp white dress shirt unbuttoned exposing the hollow of his throat and his sleeves were rolled up.

The cufflinks you gave him for his birthday were resting in the middle of the table while a few strands of his raven colored hair had spilled into his eyes.

“Can’t sleep.” You murmured, your voice a little husky from air in your throat.

Billy always sat at the end of the couch, his nearly empty glass of bourbon rested on the end table next to him as you walked toward the couch and took a seat next to him. He looked away from the words stretched across his screen and over at you, his tired eyes told you he had been looking at that screen for way too long.

“I told you I would be late tonight, didn’t I, Princess?” He asked, unsure of himself.

Billy had mentioned a couple of days ago he would be very late tonight.

You nodded. “Oh yeah baby, you told me. I just can’t seem to stay asleep.”

“Because you missed me, right?” He said with a wink, prompting you to roll your eyes slightly.

A warm smile played across his lips, he softly closed his laptop, and placed it on the table in front of him. Billy stretched his arm across the top of the couch and held out his other hand inviting you to take it.

Pulling your legs up onto the couch, you snuggled closer to him, and rested your head against his chest. The arm that was stretched across the top of the couch had fallen to drape over your shoulders.

“Maybe I can help, sweet girl.” He whispered while his long slender fingers danced across the exposed skin of your arm, trying to calm your nerves.

He kissed the top of your head, his heartbeat was like a gentle rhythmic lullaby against your ear as your eyelids became heavier and heavier.

Billy could tell you were drifting off by the way your breathing became slower and deeper against his chest before you let out one final hum and you were fast asleep.

The romantic scent of your shampoo drifted across Billy’s nose as he leaned in to kiss the top of your head once again. He smiled warmly as he watched you sleep, listening to your gentle inhales and feeling your deep exhales as they brushed across the tips of his fingers while he held you close.

He remembered all of the times you had been there to help him fall asleep, or comforted him after a nightmare. But right now, he was thankful to be home with you to return the favor…and he loved every second of it.

“Sweet dreams, my love.”

Tag List: @mindidjarin @saintmurd0ck @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @xdervyxccgh @mattmurdocksscars @fakehappy27 @music-indie-tv @fictional-hooman @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @celestialams @idek-what-to-put @anastasianeedstoread @ratsys @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @rosaleenablack @vaguekayla @qu1etwolf @danzer8705

Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @russosafehaven @mrsbillyrusso @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend

If you’d like to be added (or removed from) my tag list(s) for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but you didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again.

[on-softs]

Maxiel Bachelorette AU Snippet

Since I'm never going to finish it, I'm just throwing up the first scene of the Maxiel bachelorette AU I started writing. Enjoy!

Max doesn’t actually meet him on the first night. He only sees him for a second, through the doorway of the mansion, which is done up in this sort of Italian only it is not Italian way, American-Italian, maybe, with all this wood framing and tile.

The doorways in this house are massive, excessive, meant to be peered through. Max first sees him when he’s outside meeting her– Heidi– in the big, exploding garden that’s the front walk. The driveway and walk are both still wet from it raining earlier. Max had been so dizzy with nerves after the first impression that he’d been worried about tripping up the front steps on his way in. His dress shoes are still wet, and so are the shoulders of his tuxedo, though the wetness has spread and seeped by now. His armpits are wet for other reasons. He should not take off his jacket, tonight, even though the producers said they may not go to sleep until four or five this morning. It all depends on Heidi, of course. He should already be thinking about how to get his one on one time with her. Jos had jabbed a finger at the video clip on his laptop and said: Look at him. The ones who don’t get one on one time the first night are as good as worthless. They complain and are dead weight. 

Max takes a sip of his drink, which is something mixed served in these short, thick-plastic tumblers made to look like cut glass. There are non-alcoholic options on the sideboard, but a producer in a black t-shirt keeps stocking all the mixed drinks on a tray in the middle of the table, so Max has obligingly kept drinking them. All the producers are wearing black t-shirts. When he turns his eyes to the side over the rim of his cup, the other contestants are watching the guy having his introductory conversation with Heidi, so he feels fine to keep staring along, too. They can’t hear anything, this far away. It’s all been hard to make out. Some of the guys have started chatting with each other, sometimes speculating about what could be going on, but it’s become a sort of sport, this waiting on the couch for the next new man to come in, greeting him, then going back to watching. Sometimes, it’s as long as twenty or thirty minutes between the new contestants because of hair and makeup. 

A doctor from the east coast of America, but not New York, with dark hair and veneers, tried to talk to him earlier, when Max had first come in, still rattling with nervousness. He hadn’t really remembered what Heidi’s face looked like, when he saw it up close. Not even after studying her Instagram photos for several weeks, before. He hardly remembered what he’d said. 

“Where’re you from, man?” the doctor asked, politely extending his hand in a– Max quickly adapted his own open hand for the fist bump. 

“The Netherlands,” says Max. The doctor made a surprised face, maybe at the accent. 

“Oh, I heard about you. Dutch, huh? Little boy with his finger in the dike?” 

It took Max a second to know what he was talking about, what kind of joke this is. 

“That’s what they call me,” he said, graciously. 

“You were on Love is Blind, right? Oh, or, is it bad to talk about that here? I don’t know what’s a faux pas with the reality TV people. I’m just a guy.” 

“Yes, a while ago. Just for a little bit.” 

Max mostly remembers the brutality of the body work, before that one. His shoulders needed to read, said Dad. All for two stupid episodes, which he could hardly watch when Dad played them back on the house TV, later, so they could go over them together. Twenty thousand more Instagram followers. He knew the people who make this show know he was on Love is Blind, too, of course, but he wasn’t really sure whether or not they could talk about it, either. That hadn’t been in the paperwork. 

“Seems like that show would suit you,” said the man. It took Max another beat to understand that he was being insulted. “Nah, I kid, I kid,” the man says quickly. 

Max laughed, like he was hearing a funny joke, and it wasn’t even a fake laugh, or a bland one, but as real as he could make it. He was proud of how it sounded. Guys like to joke, says Dad. They don’t care if you get upset or not. The ones who try and get you upset will be off the show soon, anyways. 

Then a bulky guy with slick hair appeared at the threshold of the room and the producers needed quiet to compose a suitably upset reaction shot, so they’d thankfully stopped talking. 

I don’t even need to say it, but don’t make buddies, Dad had said. That seemed easy so far. 

The guy outside talking to Heidi isn’t a buddy. Max isn’t even sure why he stands out, at all. He’s shockingly good looking as the rest of them. Dark, curly hair, long on top and short on the sides. Nose a bit too big, but then again, Max hasn’t fixed his own, either. That sort of thing tends to be obvious on camera. Max blinks as the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out what looks like a corny shark-tooth necklace and hands it to Heidi. Maybe he’s a surfer. He can only see the scooped back of Heidi’s dress so he’s not sure what she thinks of it, until she reaches up to give him a ginger hug, which the man reciprocates, hands resting chivalrously on her upper back. His hands are tan as the rest of him. 

“We’re moving to the pool table room,” someone says, nearby. A producer. Max suddenly realizes a lot of the guys have already left the couch room. The producer’s got an iPad clutched to her chest and an Airpod in one ear, looking busy. 

“Do you need anything?” she asks. 

“Ah, no,” says Max, and gets up.

[accio-victuuri]

MY SEPTEMBER READS. 💓

It’s been a productive month of reading for me, limited to manhua/manhwas. most of these are still ongoing so that may stop you from wanting to pick it up.

previous reads & recs : ( there are ofc novels, manhua/manhwas i have read that are not included here but enjoyed, for example — tgcf. )

Q&A Rec answered July 2021 //Recent Reads Series: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // November 2022 // January - March 2023 // April - August 2023

Solo novel recs: Cherry Blossoms Upon a Wintry Sword // The Moon is Coming to Me

Traces of the Sun ( 2 seasons completed, Ongoing )

One of my favorites and the photo I used for this entire post. The best thing here is that the MC is a necromancer in a sense, cause his power is restoration. The primary use if of course to restore and fix his environment like building etc but he somehow did the “forbidden” application of it which is to restore dead humans. This is set in the future and has that scifi kind of feel cause humans have “powers” and there are doorways that open — which teams have to complete to “win”. If you like that kind of premise then you will enjoy this. It reminded me of The Earth is Online so I had no problem getting into the plot, but if it’s your first time — it might be confusing.

The ML ( Hyeon ) is a red flag kind of guy and makes a deal with the MC ( Yiseon ) at the start of the story. It can be pretty dark & gloomy at times but hang in there. The quests are really exciting and the team dynamic is good <3 Their romance is kinda slow burn and i live for how Hyeon “changes” because of Yiseon. I’m really hoping for a happy ending!

The Promise ( 41 chapters completed )

I WANT MORE. I NEED. I understand some projects are only allowed upto a certain number of chapters but this was too good and could use more chapters or even side stories. I need to see An Nuo happy and enjoying the real world! 😭😭😭😭

Anyway, I picked this up cause I wanted another scifi/dystopian type of story after reading TOTS. This has that same trope. People with powers, and this time MC is someone who has a low level to no power, spending his time at an underground laboratory that treats humans as lab rats. Then comes the ML, someone from the “outside world” who needs to awaken his other power so he decides to go to the lab. They meet and well, that’s where the story starts.

If you can’t tell, I enjoyed this story so much!!!! The MC is the best. An Nuo <3 he’s so smart and I feel for him cause he was born in the lab, so he’s never seen the real world. He doesn’t know what a blue sky even looks like. As a reader, I was so invested for him to succeed and gain his freedom after 18 years of being a prisoner. Then you have ML, AHHHHHH!!!! He starts off as an asshole but then becomes so devoted so he’s forgiven. 😂😂😂😂

I’m looking for stories that are similar to this, so if you know one, let me know. ^^

Again ( 60 chapters completed ; ongoing side stories )

Regression. Entertainment Industry Setting. My weakness, so there’s no way i wouldn’t like it. But even tho it’s a trope I like, it’s still exceptional! Even if you don’t like this trope, it’s a solid story.

So you have the MC Han Nokyoung, who is an A list celebrity with a foul attitude. A scandal happens and he dies — then wakes up years before the incident so he decides to change things to have a better ending. He becomes entangled with Kang Junil in his “new” life — the same person who caused his scandal/downfall.

I like how the story flowed, and how the MC was portrayed as the scumbag he was in the past. There was no excuses, he was foul and did things that harmed people. So he has to atone. He has to change things if he wants to have a better future. There were also parts that I was scared that things will not change even if he chooses a different direction. The MC & ML romance too! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I love them! They are destined to be together. <3 KANG JUNIL BEING POSSESSIVE IS MY FAVE!

SKETCH ( Ongoing, Season 1 completed )

thank you for @ourbeloved1011 for recommending this!

They are precious! The art is beautiful! 💟

Modern story with two people trying to find their way into a relationship. The MC (Yikyung) is a smol bean that we must protecc! He loves too much and is the kind of person the ML (Joobin) just needs. I have to say it’s one of my comfort stories. It’s sweet. Funny and the smut is very hot without being vulgar. I swear, you can have 3 chapters of smut and it’s glorious!!!!

The age gap is also delicious. Even if it’s ongoing, I encourage you to read it. 🤍

HEARTHROB/ High Pulse ( Ongoing 24 chapters )

I usually don’t pick up stuff that’s just 20+++ chapters cause I think it’s too early to get a hang of the story or i would want more and have nothing. However I was intrigued, since it’s High School setting and Omegaverse.

Shut up. They are so cute! There is something about first loves & young love that gets me! It’s not all fluff and cute — i just wanna wrap them in a warm blanket and let them be happy. Anyway, in this setting, the MC/ML are turning 18 and that’s the time that they will be differentiated into Alpha/Omega or not. ML is expected to be an Alpha, and MC into an Omega. The MC has a heart condition, hence the title.

It’s just sweet. Sometimes i need a story that will make me squee!

LOOK AT THEM <3

( one of my favorite parts of the story 🤣🤣🤣 )

Love Meter 100 % ( 7 chapters completed )

A short and hilarious read!!!! MC is addicted to playing a RPG that is BL themed. He has a favorite character that he likes and one day, meets someone who looks exactly like that.

Don’t expect a ground breaking story. The plot twist is very nice tho.

Reunion ( Season 1 Completed ; Ongoing )

This story should be adapted into an Anime or a TV series cause it’s that good. The story telling is A +. If you love a non linear narrative and unreliable narrator then this is for you. My god. The mystery. The heart ache. The yearning. I’m freakin clenching my fists while reading it cause i can feel everything. Even how the panels are drawn adds to the story. Definitely up there as one of my top reads of the year.

the art style is gorgeous. the conflict is — AAAAHHHH!!! I can’t say too much to not spoil anyone reading this but if you read the summary, you’ll get an idea of what’s going on. MC pretended to be someone and had a relationship with the ML. Things happen, ML comes back and they meet each other but he (ML) forgot what happened (or did he????) and well… we try to uncover what really took place that summer and how they can have their happy ending this time.

This is a treat to experience. As a reader, you have to try and piece things together. You also can’t trust their recollections of what happened yet.

If there is 1 story you have to read in this post, let it be this one. It needs more audience!

Blood and Love ( Ongoing ; Chapter 20 )

The combination of someone who is fascinated with vampires + is a sunshine boy meets an actual vampire premise. Add that with uncensored smut. I really enjoyed it for what it is and i got so much secondhand embarrassment from the MC being such a simp 😂😂😂

No Moral ( Season 1 completed ; Ongoing )

I chose this because it’s set in a law firm — ML being a partner & big shot and MC a new junior associate. I did enjoy reading First Class Lawyer before so i thought to give it a chance, I made the right decision. 💕

It’s plot heavy and there are technical words but it didn’t turn me off. The cases are also interesting and this honestly makes me want to pick up the novel cause i wanna know what happens next. The hints of potential romance between them is 💓 and I hope that they get to a good place together.

I really like the character of the ML. Seheon Kang. He’s such a bitch. He reminds me of “Harvey” from the tv series Suits, all the attitude but none of the vices & women. He has family issues and will do everything to win. He may come off as stone-cold but he actually cares in his own way. Most of the comments I read about him, especially early on in the chapters is that he’s an asshole and they hate him. But it’s him. That’s how he is. I guess most people are going into this thinking it’s a “romance” and the ML should be this gentle dude. Well, “No Moral” is so much more than a romance. Even if this wasn’t a “BL” i would still read it for what it is. I love seeing him slowly lose his walls because of the MC tho. All I want for him is to have his freedom and get the taste of “someone” being on his side and will never leave him.

As for the MC, Yunshin, he’s definitely and Idealist. This is why he often gets into conflict with the ML. He’s young and usually does pro-bono cases ; He believes that the law always sides with the “innocent”. Tho he may come off as naive sometimes, I still that fight in him, especially when he does his best to pass Seheon’s tests!

I am excited for where this story will go ♥️

Everyday I want to be Number 1 ( till Chapter 23, Ongoing )

The trope of MC being the second place all the time and he wants to beat the ML who is always first place in academics and everything else. Then they get close and sparks fly ✨ I have read novels and other Manhuas like this but this one still got me.

A feel good read. Not sure if i’m gonna continue but I liked what i read so far.

Someone like you ( Season 1 completed ; Ongoing )

It’s sad and depressing. LOL. Idk why I picked it up but so far, I can’t help but feel frustrated with what’s happening. Some people who read this compared it to “Reunion” because they had a shared past and got separated. Also the gaps in ML’s memory regarding the MC. Also the MC thinking that their relationship is doomed. However, I think what’s lacking here is there is no “hope”, even if they communicate well, i feel like they keep going back to step 1. I understand why but it’s not making me want to continue on to the next seasons.

The art is very pretty tho ^^

Merry Marbling ( Chapter 33 ; ongoing )

First of all, everything is so pretty ✨ How can I resist? All panels are a treat!!!!

I was here mainly for the art, but I didn’t expect to get invested in the story that much. It may look like a superficial high school / slice of life kind of story but it’s so much more than that. Ian ( black hair ) is Mister Perfect. He is known as the “Angel” of their area and he literally can’t do no wrong — everyone likes him. Enter the new student Yugun, my dear sickly-angry-kitten son 😂😂😂 He doesn’t know Ian’s “history” & doesn’t get the hype about him. The story flows on their journey of being strangers to enemies to friends to lovers. 💕

I’m loving their character growth. Ian who does his best to please his mom and be the “perfect son” to being able to express himself and not think too much about what people will say. I really feel sorry for him, cause he’s a kid — he is allowed to make mistakes. The instances where he cries and almost has breakdowns when he does something wrong is not right. And it’s Yugun who calls him out on it, also encourages him to let loose sometimes. Yugun— who is closed off starts believing that he can have people to depend on, especially Ian. I really love Yugun 😂 He is chaotic. Don’t let the cute face fool you. He is a savage.

It’s also a really funny read. ^^ + the side characters are the type who add to the story, especially Mi Rye!

Follow your Heart ( completed )

Hello! Look at how beautiful they are! I am weak. Very weak. An upright taoist cultivator who lives high up in the mountains and a demonic cultivator that owns the Ghost Valley. My favorite trope! 😍😍😍 Also Mister Demonic Cultivator waited for his love to come back after 100 years. I mean…. This Manhua is a combination of all my favorite things!

The pairing reminds me so much of Hua Cheng x Xie Lian 😭😭😭😭 I wish there were more chapters, cause it’s only 53 but part of me thinks they already told the story they have to and there is no use in prolonging it.

Anyway, the story is not that deep, compared to other plots in the same genre. You only have to know a few people and their goal is clear. If you’ve read or even watched stories with Cultivation World as the backdrop, it’s easy to get confused and there are a couple of subplots, you won’t have that problem with FYH. Ye Zigue needs to find his body and transfer his soul core in order to live again, also find out the truth about what happened years ago. The best part for me tho is the ML. Jiang Shu. 💕 He has that whole Hua Cheng thing going on for him. AHHHHHHH!!!!! He is perfect. Exactly the type of ML I prefer reading about. I usually prefer modern manhua/manhwa setting but decided to give this a go cause it’s already completed, so happy that I made that decision <3

Civilian A ( Chapter 24 ; Ongoing )

I should stop picking up stories that are only 24+ chapters but I can’t help myself. Esper/Guide trope which I haven’t really been reading that much of. I think it’s the same as Sentinel/Guide. && the art is beautiful so….

The pairing is Gold! Especially the ML, Yool, who is a scary S+ Esper who everyone avoids but for some reason is a puppy to our MC. There is obviously some backstory here, early on in the chapters, we are given the impression that they knew each other when they were young. ML did something along the way to keep MC safe and forget him. I recommend that people wait this out, the recent chapters are just getting exciting. Tho romance is a big part of the story, there is also a backdrop of politics and some commentary on the society. Definitely one that I will be waiting on every week to update. 💜

==============

BONUS: Other books ( physical ) I have finished this Month. <3

I’ve been wanting to try “before the coffee gets cold” trilogy and decided why the hell not. It’s definitely my kind of read. It’s not a very long book and you have 4 “short stories” in each but they are connected at some point. The concept of time travel here is unique ( you can only go to the past or future but you have to be seated in a particular chair. you can’t get up from your spot. nothing will change in the past or future no matter what you do or say. you can only see people who have been in the cafe too. your time is up when the coffee gets cold. ) and the stories will affect you. Reading this makes me want to visit this cafe lol to experience it. ☕️ only finished book 1 & 2, i’m saving the 3rd for October.

Jujutsu Kaisen 0. I rewatched the movie for the nth time so I picked up the manga too. I’ve also been collecting the official volumes and will get to that next. ^^ and I’m a Yuuta Simp so… 🤷🏻‍♀️

Kimetsu no Yaiba Volume 1-5. Same with JJK, i’m getting the volumes so reading em too. A perfect read to de stress after work.

Dune - I’ve always wanted to read this book cause as a sci fi fan, everyone said this is one of the best, but that made me so intimidated by it that i didn’t pick it up for years. and the fact that the copies i see are the really small and thick ones. But I watched the film last year and really enjoyed it, even re watching it so that’s when I knew i could “handle” it. I enjoyed every bit of it and I can’t wait to see the scenes come to life in the film this November ^^ I’m not planning on continuing on with the other books tho, I’m fine with just this one.

I have to say it’s been a really good reading month for me and I hope to maintain my momentum in the next couple of months. Not putting too much pressure on myself tho, but I hope I get to discover more enjoyable reads. ^^

[whentherewerebicycles]

I am very happy with every room in my house except my bedroom and I can’t decide what to do to fix it. I want it to feel super cozy especially as we head towards grey winter months but right now it just feels like a hodge-podge of colors I dislike (plain grey duvet, plain white ikea furniture, horrible crayola green walls). the room is a good size with a lovely view of evergreens outside but it doesn’t get much daylight and can lean towards feeling pretty gloomy/cold in the winter.

I am having trouble finding room inspo photos for some reason but this is a vibe I really like:

I love the natural wood and sage green walls with lots of off white and earth tones in the textiles. I’m kinda stuck with the white furniture which I don’t love (I feel like the ikea white is kinda cold) but it feels like a lot of work to sand and stain it. the real issue is gahhhh do I have the inner strength to go back to the paint search? this room is challenging because it’s low light but also gets a lot of green reflected from the evergreens outside. so sage greens often look muddy because the color looks flatter and the brown or grey undertones come through stronger. but then when I compensate by choosing a shade with a stronger green hue it ends up looking kermit green 🫠

I’m tempted by this color palette:

and I also kinda like this color (sage wisdom), although I might lighten it 25-50% to adjust for my dark room (?):

the other big change I could make is bedding and textiles. more pillows, more rumpled cozy duvet covers (maybe use my friend Kristin’s trick of using a king sized duvet on a queen bed so it looks oversized and cozy), and changing up the colors. I have also thought about doing string lights around the corners of the room… it’s a little college dorm aesthetic but when I’ve done it in the past I feel like it gives the whole room such a cozy warm glow. I also think installing curtains could help warm up the room. hmm okay. any thoughts appreciated. I just really want to get this done well I’m on leave!! I’m tired of my bedroom being my least favorite space in the house.

[enteroctopusdarkysilis]

✨ Breach of containment ✨

This is the last I’ve been working on for the past few weeks, very, very inspired by the game Carrion (if you haven’t played it yet, you absolutely should !), which is made all the more special because I finally took time to use my lighting kit (seem below). Of course, closeups and commentaries below the cut

Left containment unit closeups :

Right containment unit closeups :

Top closeup :

Alt version (studio lights + in-built lights) :

This is one of the screenshots I’ve been working with (where the monster just breached containment) :

So, as I said previously, this piece is heavily inspired by Carrion. I tried to look up any previously made Lego thing related to the game, but all I could find were a few Reddit posts with (debatably) interesting takes on the monster. So, the good news is that this is most likely the most original piece I’ve made yet.

The original plan was to have only one container, and one monster, with left being the body inside and right being the outside part. However, placing Left in the middle of the transparent pieces made it mostly good on its own, so with some modifications, I made it work alone and expanded the outside part inward, and ended up with two of them.

Left is pretty okay from all angles, but Right is not necessarily as good from the back, and had a supplementary jaw on the side of the container which can’t be seen on the photos.

Getting back to comparing that to the game. I tried to stay close while adding my own little details. The wiring and cable system is from me, but the container is mostly inspired by the game, just like the electric box (middle) and the little informative display (under the electric box) which is…empty, yes.

Some details can’t be seen on the photos (or barely), which are mostly some filler sci-fi stuffs to make the wall less flat and less empty.

What also helped with breach the flatness of the wall is the switch from dark grey to light gray, using the awesome spring projectile launcher piece, which has this very nice shape which make the transition just a bit smoother.

So, let’s talk about whatever I’ve done with the lighting !

I’ve had this old lighting kit (originally designed for a car model) lying around for a long time, and finally got to use it ! It doesn’t look really good without my studio lights because my camera is not made for that (The effect in reality really gives escaping monstrosity a dark vibe which is not well depicted with my photos…). Another thing which is not noticeable with the photos is that the two red dots in the center are actually blinking lights (and somehow, they tend to desynchronise).

The choice of letting some of the wires out is debatable, but I think it adds to the vibe (and some of them would have been a pain to hide anyway). And sadly, the back is but a mess of wires, but I can’t actually do anything about that.

Speaking of the back, the whole thing is one dot large and completely flat, and the ceiling only hold without pillars because of the use of tension linking directly the baseplate and the roof through the use of technic bars; and probably because the ceiling itself is not that heavy. It is, in fact, only constitued of six old road pieces connected together and frames, which give the roof little weight and high sturdiness (and the shape on the side of the piece offers a nice sci-fi effect as a bonus).

The addition of tentacles in the vent (which hides the connection between road plates in the roof) is just another reminder of the game : you can’t be safe anywhere, if air flows~

[strawberrystepmom]

Are you busy? Can I show you something?

Tenko doesn’t type more than a couple words to you per text - not much more than an ‘okay’ or a ‘thumbs up’ whenever you give him updates on the new security features and restrictions to his support items and paraphernalia - given that you’re not exactly the best of friends (yet), so when he sends you a text message on the latter end of the work day, you have to admit you’re surprised.

But you’ve always had the feeling Tenko was somewhat skittish around you. Much like a cat.

Perhaps just awkward. You can’t imagine that he’s been socialized properly given all the suspected childhood trauma that’s culminated in your homeland nearly being destroyed, so the fact that he’s just a bit timid is both jarring but also expected.

You wonder what he has to show you.

Sure, you type back.

You set your phone down and go back to your blueprints for a moment. When it lights up again, instead of a text of a photo or screenshot, you realize your phone is ringing, and when you let it float into your hands, you find that he’s sent you a video call.

For some reason, your heart is racing, as if he were anything more than a client particularly personal to you because of a dear friend. It’s odd that he wants to video chat you, and part of you wonders if one of your restraints malfunctioned while he was on the job and you’ve somehow irked him beyond belief. Could you deal with the fallout of being the one to turn Tenko back to a life of crime? 

The very idea makes you sick to your stomach.

Your cameras connect, and he’s possibly a little too close to the camera, enough that you can practically see up his nostrils. Realizing immediately he pulls back and readjusts himself - you note that he seems to be walking somewhere, outside, the feedback from a particularly zealous wind a bit harsh on your ears, but he’s not yet talking. 

He doesn’t say anything for a few more seconds - he just looks at the phone as he walks, and you wonder if it’s really you he’s looking at, he seems somewhat preoccupied, entranced even. A hand runs through the waves of his dark hair, and then right when you’ve grown tired of the awkward silence, he speaks.

“Hey, um, do you notice anything different?”

“Huh?”

As the word comes out, you feel immediately apologetic, because Tenko seems to recoil and it doesn’t help that you sound practically foolish in your confusion, but you’ve been spending a half hour trying to get a bit of wiring in a gadget correct and you’re not exactly sure what social game this young man is playing right now.

For a moment, you wonder if there’s something on your face, and pat your face reflexively.

“I, um-,” he pauses, and you notice he’s also stopped his walk. You wonder where he is, how close he is to you, holed up in your apartment for greater than 24 hours and unable to enjoy the crisp, fall air.

You don’t want to ask, why did you call me? But it would really help if you could.

“Is there something I’m missing, Entropy?” you ask. 

He quickly pipes up to correct you.

“Tenko.”

“Tenko,” you repeat. He seems to bloom as you say his name, his real one, and encouraged, he finally says,

“I got a haircut.”

You blink.

He did get a haircut. Cropped slightly on the sides but the back portion still slightly long, fuller waves framing his face. Still somewhat shaggy, but better kept. Softer.

You smile. “It looks nice.”

He smiles back, brightly. “You told me the hair was fucking with your-” he pauses, “I mean, messing with the suit collar’s contacts so I talked to the agency’s image coordinators and they…” He trails off again, waving his hand over his visage.

“It looks really fucking good,” you say again, smiling widely, the emphasis on the curse word reminding him that it’s okay to be less formal.

Pride practically beams on his face like a child. Satisfied, he changes the subject. 

“How was your day?” he asks, and you wonder again how far he is, and if maybe you could spare some time to get just a little bit of fresh air.

entropy x sparkles my beloved <333

[myjelllybean]

Hating you

This is a chenford fanfic I immediately wanted to write down when I had the idea for it. English is not my first language so there could be a few mistakes.

I hope everyone who reads this enjoys it. If anyone has feedback, I am open for it. <3

I don't have any other ideas finished and don't know what to write so I really beg you to send me requests....

Summary: Lucy had been bullied for years when she was younger, and was about to start a new life to get over it, but it turned out that her new boss was the person who made her life a living hell when she was younger.

She pulled out a million clothes out of her closet. She didn’t even know why. Yes, she had a new job she was going to start today, but as a police officer she would have to wear a uniform.

Still, she wanted to look good. Lucy took her phone from the bedside table. She sent a photo of three possible outfits to John Nolan and Jackson West, hoping they would help her to choose one. Only a few seconds later it was Jackson who answered first.

The second looks the best. Not as if you have tried too hard but it still shows the job is important to you.

She slipped into the dark blue jeans and the short sleeved and a bit oversized black blouse she loved. In addition, she also took her favorite earrings that she was gifted from West and Nolan after finishing the police academy. She looked into the mirror. Did she look too fat? No, she doesn’t. She is pretty the way she is. For the last ten years this was something she regularly had to tell herself.  

Should she change into something different? No. She knew from the moment she got up, that today wasn’t a good day. She just wanted to get some more sleep. She didn’t feel good; neither emotionally nor physically. She woke up with cramps in her belly, realizing she got her period, which wasn’t a great start in a new job.

But she couldn’t stay home at her first day of work.

So, she put on her shoes, poured coffee in her pink thermos and checked her bag that she didn’t forget anything. When she made sure she got everything she needed, she went to her car, where she immediately put on the air conditioning.

She absolutely didn’t look forward to wearing the long-sleeved uniform the rookies had to wear. It was 34 degrees Celsius outside; definitely too hot.

She stepped into the precinct, and immediately went to the women’s locker room. Lucy closed her locker and changed into the uniform. It was definitely more comfortable than she anticipated. But it was hotter in it than she thought.

She also swallowed a few pills of ibuprofen, hoping that it would dull the ache in her abdomen.

When Lucy stepped out of the locker room, she spotted John and Jackson, who were standing in front of the conference room.

“Hey! Are you guys ready for today?” Jackson looked quite nervous while he asked the question. “I am definitely not because I heard that our TOs are not really kind.”

“I think I am. I handled much more in my life than idiots who think they are powerful and let everyone around them feel it”, Lucy said even though she wasn’t so sure. Yes, she’d been through a lot but she was scared that she might relive it all again.

“I am not sure if I am ready. I am probably going to be older than my Training Officer so they are definitely going to make fun of me.” Nolan looked a bit worried but Lucy knew he would get through the time as a rookie.

“Nah. You can do this, Nolan. I promise”, Lucy told him.

***

A few seconds later they were the first ones to go into the conference room. They took place in the first row, something the rookies were supposed to, and waited.

The room filled quite fast and only one row was still empty. When the three last people stepped inside the room, Lucy held her breath. She felt her heartbeat becoming faster and faster.

This can’t be happening. This is not really happening, is it? Jackson nudged her shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

But all Lucy could do was sit there, frozen in her position. She knew that guy who had just taken place in the free row. The man who was staring at her with cold, bright blue eyes. His face was unreadable. He was older now. Looked more adulterous. The same cold, piercing eyes. But she remembered him. And she doubts she could ever forget him.

***

As she rounded the corner onto her street, Lucy saw him leaning against the fence, his grin sent a shiver down her spine. Tim Bradford; ten years older than her, seemed to take pleasure in plaguing her whenever he could. It had started innocently, but it had escalated over time.

"Look who's here," Tim said, his voice dripping with faked pity as he stepped in front of her, blocking her path. "Fat Little Lucy, all alone. What are you gonna do, cry?"

Lucy tried to go past him, but he moved with her, his presence threatening. "Leave me alone, Tim," she said, her voice trembling with fear.

Tim chuckled darkly; his eyes gleaming with amusement. "Or what? You gonna tell mommy and daddy? Oh, that's right, they don't care about you, do they? Just like nobody else does."

The words hit Lucy like a punch to the gut, and she felt tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. She tried to push past him, but he grabbed her roughly by the arm, his grip bruising and painful.

"Let me go!" Lucy cried, struggling against him, but he only tightened his hold.

"Not so fast, princess," Tim said, a grin spreading across his face. "I think you need to learn some manners."

With a swift motion, he pulled out a pocket knife, the blade glinting in the sunlight. Lucy's heart pounded in her chest as she stared at the weapon, her mind racing with fear and panic.

"Please, Tim, don't," she begged, her voice barely a whisper.

But Tim just laughed, pressing the blade against her skin with a cruel smirk. "Scared, are you? Good. Maybe now you'll think twice before crossing me again."

The pain was sharp and searing as Tim carved a deep cut into Lucy's thigh, leaving behind a trail of blood. She cried out in agony, tears streaming down her face as she struggled to break free from his grasp.

But just as suddenly as it had begun, it was over. Tim released her with a final shove, sending her stumbling backward onto the pavement. He looked down at her, his blue eyes looking like ice.

"Remember this, Lucy," he said, his voice low. "You're nothing. And no one will ever care about you.”

***

Jackson nudged her again.

“Is everything ok?” Lucy finally felt like she could move again.

“Um… Yes. I am ok. I was just reminded of something.” She shook her head as if it could just delete the memories her brain was playing over and over again. Her hand wandered as if by itself to the scar on her thigh, that was currently covered by her uniform.

It wasn’t the only one she got while she was bullied by Tim and his friends. She has never told anyone, as she didn’t think anyone would believe her. Tim made her feel worthless. And it still sticked to her. She often had days when she wasn’t able to look in the mirror, being too ashamed by herself.

Sergeant Grey stood in the front of the room, but Lucy wasn’t really able to listen.

“West! You are with Lopez in the next months. Nolan, you are with Bishop and Chen, you are with Bradford.” The rest of what the Sergeant said, was just a blur of words to Lucy. All she could do was staring at the ceiling, begging her tears to not flow freely. She couldn’t have a breakdown. Not here. Not now.  She blamed her hormones on that, as she always was more emotional when she was on her period.

She felt a presence beside her and looked up to see Tim standing there, his expression unreadable.

"Officer Chen, right?" he asked, his tone professional.

"Yes, sir," Lucy replied, struggling to keep her voice steady.

Tim nodded, glancing at his notes.

"We’re partnered up. Ready to hit the streets?"

Lucy swallowed hard, her mind racing. "Yes, sir," she repeated, praying her voice didn't show off her fear.

How would she survive that day when she already panicked now? For a short moment, she considered going to Sergeant Grey to tell him she needs another TO, but Lucy feared he would just laugh and won’t believe her. Tim was a cop now? Nobody would believe her, a rookie, that an officer would have bullied her a few years back.

“Faster, boot! I don’t have all day to wait for you!”

Lucy got up from where she had been sat, and hurried after her TO. Her smartwatch vibrated and with a short look at the display, Lucy recognized the alarm. She had a pulse of 124! When only one single minute with Tim triggered her like that, what was going to happen after a whole day?

“Boot! Here you can get the bags and everything else we need, also the body cams. You’ll get these to the shop, never call it car, every single day, did you understand?”

“Yes, Sir.” Lucy took the two bags after she attached the body cam to her uniform and followed Bradford to the car… no… shop.

She put the bags in the trunk, before taking place on the passenger seat.  

After they drove through the streets of the city for quite a while and nothing has happened yet, Tim suddenly started to yell.

“I’ve been shot! Where are you, boot?!”

Lucy looked at him; confused. Why has he been shot? She couldn’t see a wound where a bullet could have hit him?

“I’m bleeding to death, you have to call for help, where are you?! Where are you?!”

She leaned out of the car in an attempt to see a name of the street they were onto.

“Now I’m dead. It’s your fault.”

“What?” Lucy’s voice trembled. She didn’t do anything! Nothing has happened!

“Get out and walk. You can get back in when you know where you are.”

Panic threatened to overwhelm her. Fuck! Not now! She took a deep breath, trying to regain her composure.

Slowly she tried to open the door, still trying to breathe. In her head, she tried to remember the way they have been driving. But before she could remember where they were, she felt nauseous. She got hold on a tree next to the street and doubled over. Why did she have to puke in this moment? As if the situation wasn’t already embarrassing enough.

“Chen, are you ok?” She was clearly not ok! If she was, why would she stand in the middle of the sidewalk and throw up everything she has eaten today.

Lucy retched until she knew for sure that her stomach was empty by now.  

“Do I have to get you to hospital, Chen?” For a short moment she considered the advantages of this idea. But what would she say in the hospital? My boss bullied me years ago and I am still not over it so I had a panic attack because he yelled at me because he doesn’t remember anything what he did?

No. She can’t do that. She shook her head.

“Ok. But at least we go to a café now so you can drink and eat something, ok? I can’t let you do the job when you are like that.”

Lucy slumped back into the passenger seat.

“Baxter Street”, she mumbled as she closed her eyes for a moment in an attempt to relief the sharp pain behind her eyes.

“What?” Tim looked confused at her.

“We’re in Baxter Street.” Tim nodded.

“Right.”

Only a few minutes later they sat in the next Starbucks. Tim reported dispatch that they would need a break. He didn’t tell the reason, but it looks like the dispatcher knew it would have to be something important if it was Tim who called in a break.

He couldn’t help but worry. Lucy said she needed the toilet, so he sat on the small table without her. Had he been too hard on her? He had been in the army; he knew that panic attacks don’t just happen. They are always triggered by something.    

He couldn’t deny the fact that he worried about Lucy. When he has first seen her, he thought she was a strong woman, that could really be a good cop one day. But he had to do a few Tim-Tests on her. He always did; with every rookie he has had so far. He needed to know what their weaknesses were.

That was his job, right? Still, he couldn’t shake off the feeling that he had done something wrong.

Lucy reminded him of someone; he just couldn’t quite remember who she reminded him of.

Lucy returned from the bathroom. In the meanwhile, Bradford had already ordered coffee and a piece of chocolate cake for each of them.

Tim could see that Lucy must have cried. Her eyes were red and swollen, but he decided not to say anything about it. She didn’t cry alone in the bathroom just so everyone could notice when she came back.

“Thank you”, she said with her voice barely above a whisper when she realized Tim has ordered food and a coffee.

“I didn’t know how you’d like your coffee so I took a guess. It’s caramel macchiato I thought you may like it.”

Lucy smiled. The caramel macchiato was her favorite drink. It was her comfort beverage which she always drank when she was stressed out.

She took a sip of the hot coffee; closing her eyes as she took in the sweet taste, that was on the verge to too sweet.

“You like it?”

Lucy nodded again.

“Yes, again, thank you.”

Did Tim really become more… adulterous? Yes, he had been very harsh before, but right now he was quite kind. He ordered her a drink and food, although there was an unwritten rule that the rookies are supposed to pay for the bills.

Lucy took a bite from the cake. The chocolate melted on her tongue and it was just perfect. From her bag, she took the small container of ibuprofen she luckily remembered to pack for today. The cramps were back and she didn’t want to seem weak to Tim.

She really thought he had changed but she still didn’t want to take the risk of him using her weaknesses to hurt her.

Tim eyed her as she popped the pill into her mouth and furrowed his brow.

“Are you ok?”

Lucy nodded.

“Yes.”

Tim narrowed his eyes in suspicion. He could sense something was going on, but after the panic attack she has just had, he didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable than she already seemed to be and maybe even trigger another attack.

She finished the cake and her caramel macchiato.

“Do you feel a bit better?” Tim really looked a bit worried and it didn’t seem fake.

“A bit. But it’ll be better.”

“Good. Are you ready to hit the streets again?”

Lucy nodded and plastered a forced smile on her face.

“Then, let’s go.”

As soon as Tim called in that they can go on calls again, they were sent to a call.

“7-Adam-15 on our way.”

They found Nolan and Bishop, who were already on site. John tried to calm an upset man who was standing on a car and hit the windshield with a baseball bat.

But the man ran off and Nolan immediately ran after him.

“Go, Chen! Chase him first”, Tim shouted and Lucy immediately ran off.

She managed to get to the man before Nolan did, but only because John got stuck in a gate. Talia and Tim made fun of him while Chen put the man who just ran off in handcuffs.

“Well, not bad”, Tim said after the man sat in the back of the shop. Lucy smiled a bit to herself. A real smile. This was the first moment today where she felt really happy. Like she did something right.

She looked out of the window, as she didn’t want Tim to see her smile like that and destroy this moment.

But she didn’t notice that Tim smiled at her. He couldn’t get over the fact that he liked the way her nose scrunched when she smiled and how her eyes seem to become a bit smaller.

God, he was her TO! He shouldn’t feel attracted to his boot! Get back to the hard TO who makes Tim-Tests and drives the rookies insane, he told himself. He took a deep breath and forced himself to look back at the streets.

When they drove through a small alley, Lucy spotted a guy, who was called in to be searched for robbery just an hour or so ago.

“There! This is the guy they are searching for”, Lucy exclaimed.

Tim turned he sirens on and they got out of the car, standing behind the door for a bit more safety, but in this moment the guy drew his gun and began to shoot. Only a few seconds later, another man appeared, also with a weapon and began shooting too.

Immediately, Lucy and Tim shot back.

“Stay low!” But just as her TO finished talking, he let out a loud “fuck!” and fell to the ground.

Lucy slowly rounded the car, paying attention so she wouldn’t get shot too. She packed Tim and pulled him to the back of the car so they weren’t in danger to get shot by these idiots.

“Don’t stay. Shoot back”, Tim commanded while his face was scrunched up in pain.

Lucy reloaded her gun and shot back. She managed to hit one of the men and the other one ran away as another police car appeared in the alley. John and Bishop got out of it and John immediately followed the man who had just run off while Bishop put the other in handcuffs.

The wound he got from Lucy shooting him wasn’t too bad, the bullet only grazed him and he had a small scratch on his lower abdomen but still lay crying on the street… men, Lucy though watching him.

She turned her attention back to Tim who lay on the street as well, blood pooling out of a wound in his abdomen. Lucy put her hands on the wound to apply pressure to it; hoping it would stem the bleeding at least a little bit.

She glanced over her shoulder, to have a look if the paramedics have already arrived and in the exact moment an ambulance arrived.

A woman exited and immediately ran to them.

“He… he got shot in his abdomen. It‘s bleeding heavily”, Lucy told the paramedic who had a name tag on her uniform with the name ‘Nune’ on it.

“It’s not that bad… just a scratch”, Tim said and Lucy just shook her head and rolled her eyes.

There were two types of men. The ones who cry when they get touched because it ‘hurt so much’ and the ones like Tim, who are lying on the concrete of an ally with a bullet in their abdomen and say ‘it was just a scratch’. There wasn’t something in between.

“Well, good job, boot. Now go chase the guy. We don’t want Talia to get him, right?”

Once again, Lucy rolled her eyes. This man can’t just let others win. But either way, she got up and after Nolan.

She caught up quite fast and ran the man to the ground. She handcuffed him before she pulled him to his feet and dragged him along with her. She led him to Talia’s car where she pushed him in the chair in the back of the car, before she shut the door closed.

Bradford, who was now placed on a stretcher nodded at her. She just took it as a compliment.

“To which hospital are you going to bring him?”

The paramedic told her the name of it before getting into the driver’s seat.

In that moment, Sergeant Grey appeared in the alley.

“Officer Chen. You are allowed to get home. I’ll organize another TO for you for tomorrow so please be on time.”

“Thank you, Sergeant Grey. Am I supposed to drive the car back at the station?”

“I don’t think so”, the Sergeant said with a glance at the car.

“Oh.” The car… no shop… was… damaged. Like really damaged. Was it… on fire? Oh shit…

“But Chen?”

“Yes, Sir?” Lucy turned around again.

“Bradford has a daughter. She is at daycare and Bradford won’t make it to get her home. Could you get her and maybe bring her to hospital so she can see her dad? I will see who can take her for over the night.” Lucy looked confused. Tim? A dad? Ok…

“Ehm… I can take her over the night if that’s alright?”

“That would be great. Thank you.” Lucy nodded before turning around to get a Taxi.

“Wait, what’s her name?” She didn’t know the name and she was going to need it to get her form daycare.

“Olivia. Olivia Bradford.”

Before Lucy went to daycare, she drove to the station, where she got changed and got her bag.

***

“Hello. I am here to get Olivia Bradford.”

“Are you Olivia’s mom?” The woman looked at her quite suspicious.

“No… Her dad had an accident at work and I am supposed to get her to hospital to see him.”

“Mhm…” The woman still didn’t look completely convinced. “Then, I need you name and any ID you got with you. It’s a safety measure.”

Lucy nodded and got her ID out of her bag to show it to the woman.

“Lucy Chen.” She nodded.

“Ok, I will get Olivia for you.”

Just a few seconds later a young girl appeared in the hallway.

“Who are you?” Lucy smiled at her.

“I am Lucy. I work with your dad. He had a small accident at work so I was told to get you so you can see him. Is that ok with you?”

Olivia eyed her; clearly considering if she could trust the woman standing in front of her, but then taking a step towards her and taking Lucy’s hand.

“Hm. I think so. If you work with my dad you have to be nice. I am Olivia and so old”, she held 4 fingers in the air, “but I don’t like my name so everyone calls me Livy.”

“Do you want me to call you Livy too?”, Lucy asked.  She knew better than to just call her that, knowing that kids often just say stuff without meaning it.

“Yes, that would be nice.”

“Ok.” Lucy nodded. “Then… let’s go to your dad.”

Lucy sat the girl in the car seat for kids she got from Tim’s car.

The drive to the hospital was quite fast and Livy told Lucy of her day at daycare. In only 3 minutes, Lucy knew all the daycare-gossip, Livy’s friends and what the girl had for lunch.

“Miss Lucy? Can we get food? I’m hungry.”

“Of course, sweety. What do you want to eat?” Lucy looked at the girl through the rearview mirror and laughed at the way her nose scrunched while thinking what she was craving.

“I want chicken nuggets and fries. Dad barely buys it for me because he says it isn’t healthy and I need healthy food to grow and become strong but it is just so yummy!”

For a moment Lucy considered if she should buy her the wished food if Tim was clearly against it, but who was she to withheld it when Livy’s dad just got shot. And she had seen Tim eating a burger today.

“Ok, let’s go. We can get something at the drive-through and you can eat it in the hospital, ok? Maybe your dad wants something too.” Livy nodded happily while she had a broad smile on her face.

***

Only 10 minutes later they sat in Tim’s hospital room. He was still asleep, so Lucy sat on a chair with Livy on her lap while they were eating the food they had just bought.

“Thank you, Miss Lucy. I like you.” The girl grinned with her mouth full with fries

“Just Lucy. I am not Miss Lucy that makes me sound old.” Livy looked at her.

“But you are old.” Lucy gently nudged her shoulder.

“Hey! I am not! You know, you dad is quite a bit older than I am.” She pouted.

“I know. My dad is like really old.” Lucy laughed at Livy. She loves this girl.

***

Tim slowly started to wake up. In the first moment, he didn’t even know where he was, but remembered as soon as he felt the slight burning sensation on his abdomen. He was at the hospital.

He could see two silhouettes on the small table on the window. The light was dimmed but he could still recognize Lucy but he couldn’t quite recognize the other silhouette.

“Lucy! Daddy is awake!” Lucy turned around.

“Then go hug him. But be gentle he was hurt today.”

Tim grinned as he could see his daughter running to him.

“Daddy! Do you feel better? Lucy said a bad guy hurt you.” Livy stood next to his bed, clearly wanting to get up, but she couldn’t as the bed was quite high and his daughter was really small. Lucy appeared behind the girl and lifted her to the bed, careful not to sit her anywhere near the stitches so she couldn’t accidentally hurt him.

“Mhm. Feel a bit better now. Are you ok?” Livy nodded.

“Lucy bought fries and chicken nuggets!”

Lucy gently nudged the girl’s shoulder.

“I thought we agreed not to tell your dad.” Lucy wasn’t serious. Tim could tell by the way she smiled that the girl had her wrapped around her little finger. But he really couldn’t blame her. He knew that his daughter had that effect on every person she has ever met.

“I have also bought something for you. The food in this hospital tastes like shit so we have a burger and fries for you. I don’t think it is allowed on the ICU so you should eat fast.”

Tim nodded. He didn’t really have much energy to talk at the moment. He still felt drowsy from the anesthesia and the pain in his abdomen didn’t help.

“Could you call a nurse, please? Need some more meds.”

Lucy nodded and returned only a few minutes later with a doctor and a nurse.

“Officer Bradford. The bullet hit your spleen we had to remove it in surgery. It is normal to feel pain but we can give you some meds to help with that. You need to take it easy in the next few weeks and have to stay in hospital for around 5 days. Your stitches are most likely going to be removed in 10 days or more that depends on how good the wound heals.”

Tim noticed the nurse giving him a medication through the IV; probably painkillers. At least he hopes so.

“I need to organize something where my daughter can stay. I can’t stay in hospital for 5 days…”

Lucy interrupted him.

“You can and you will! I can take care of Livy, right?” The 4-year-old nodded and grinned.

“I can’t have you taking care of my daughter. I don’t even really know you and you don’t know me and you have work to do and probably have to study for the next test.” Lucy waved him off.

“I already cleared it with Grey and the daycare. I can leave earlier than usually and Livy can stay in daycare until I get her home. We will have lots of fun.”

“Thank you, boot.”

Lucy couldn’t hope but shake her head. She knows him. He knows her. Maybe he doesn’t remember but she remembers ever single moment. She remembers how she got the scars that cover her body. She remembers the reason why she now has two fine scars on each of her arms.

 “Ok, come on Livy. We really need to let your dad rest and it is already late so you have to go to bed.” Lucy lifted her off the bed.

“No! Wait!” Livy ran back to her dad. She hugged him tightly and Tim let out a groan as it hurts his stitches how tightly she held onto him.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, baby girl? What’s up?” He could see tears glimmering in his daughter’s eyes.

“Are you gonna die, daddy? You are not allowed to. Mommy is not here and you have to stay with me because if you don’t, I don’t have my daddy anymore.”

Tim shook his head while he hugged Livy.

“No. I won’t leave you here. I am going to be back to normal in no time and then we can have long movie nights and eat tons of ice cream, alright?”

The girl nodded.

“Ok. Bye!” The girl ran back to Lucy who had to fight back tears. She didn’t know what had happened with Livy’s mom, but she couldn’t imagine how it felt for a little girl who doesn’t really understand what happened to her dad.

Before Lucy left the room, she turned around one last time.

“I do know you. And you know me. Better than you might think.”

With these words, she left the room and went to her car.

***

At 1 am, Lucy heard a soft knock at her bedroom door. Confused, she got up and opened the door, just to see Livy standing in the doorway. She had her stuffed rabbit they got from Tim’s home, together with clothes for Livy, pressed to her chest.

“I can’t sleep.”

“Ok. Come here.” Lucy scooped the girl up and went to the living room. On the floor laid a mattress. Lucy took the blanket and wrapped Livy in it before going to the kitchen, still having Livy in her arms.

She placed the girl on the kitchen counter, before getting milk, which she warmed up in the microwave. She mixed it with cocoa powder and handed it to Livy before scooping her up again and placing her on the couch.

“So, what is your favorite TV show?”

“Paw Patrol.” Lucy smiled.

“Excellent choice.” Lucy switched on the TV searched Paw Patrol and turned some random episode on. She placed Livy on her lap and wrapped her even tighter in the blanket.

Livy sipped on the hot chocolate every once in a while, while watching the short episode of her favorite show. While watching TV, Livy told many stories about her dad.

Lucy couldn’t help but begin to like Tim. He seemed like a great dad. Still, she couldn’t help but feel scared of him. Yes, he was a great dad but was he also a good friend? Partner? TO? Has he changed over the last years?

In that night, she decided that she had to talk to him. She hadn’t felt safe with him today when they were involved in the shooting.

She has to talk to him about it. She deserves a talk. A real talk where they can talk about her future as a police officer. Maybe she really has to ask Grey for a new TO.

***

The next day was terrible. She overslept and was late for work. Luckily everyone was understanding, as they already knew that she took care of Livy.  

The girl had insisted on calling her dad to make sure he was ok, which had also taken really long.

Her TO for today seemed annoying and she was glad as she was finally back at home. She made food for Livy and herself before they drove to the hospital. Lopez was already there. It looks like Angela and Tim were good friends, Lucy had already assumed it the day before when she had seen them talk at lunch.

“Officer Lopez? Could you please go outside with Livy for a moment?” Lucy had to talk to Tim now. She couldn’t wait longer. He panicked about this talk the whole day and had to get it behind or she was going into another panic attack.

Before she could start talking, Tim opened his mouth.

“What did you mean yesterday, when you said you know me and I know you?” Tim raised an eyebrow, his confusion turning into a smirk. "What, did I steal your lunch money or something? I was quite the troublemaker back then."

The remark hit her like a slap in the face. The casual way he joked about it, as if it was some harmless prank, made her blood boil. Lucy's eyes narrowed, and she clenched her fists at her sides, fighting to keep her composure.

“You really don’t remember me at all, do you?”

“Sorry, I really don’t; have I slept with you years ago I had a player phase a couple years back.”

Lucy shook her head trying not to cry. He had been bullying her for years! Four fucking years of torture and he didn’t even remember.

“1537 West Sunset Boulevard. I lived there. 1543. Your address. No. You didn’t steal my lunch money. You hurt me. I have scars. And not just mentally. You insulted me! Every single day of my life for almost five years! I almost killed myself because of you. And you don’t even remember me. I am still in therapy. Still have problems with my body. I have days I can’t even eat properly because you have told me I was fat so many times I stopped counting after 37 times. I have 13 scars all over my body because of you.”

Tim stared at her; his face unreadable. He remembered. She doesn’t just have a similar face like someone he has met before. She wasn’t just a one night stand he didn’t remember. Fuck. What had he done?

“Yesterday, when we were involved in the shooting, I was scared to death with you next to me because I couldn’t trust you!” Lucy started crying and her whole body was shaking but she couldn’t stop just yet. “And now I took care of your adorable daughter for one night and she told me all these stories what a great dad you are and I started liking you and I hate myself for it! I spent years in my life hating you and one night makes me like you?”

“I am sorry. Really. I am sorry I didn’t remember. I am sorry I did that to you. Really. I was an idiot back then. Had family problems and didn’t now what to do so I did the things my dad did to me to others. Tried to compensate everything.”

Lucy looked at him. Tim didn’t really understand that look.

“You really use ‘family problems’ as an excuse for tormenting me? Are you serious? You broke me! And as if it wasn’t bad enough that you were my new TO you were quite kind when I had that panic attack! You bought me chocolate cake!” Lucy felt like she was being ridiculous and overreacting but she had to let it all out now.

“Come here please.” Tim made place on his bed and pointed at the free spot. Without thinking about it she sat down on the bed and started crying. Tim rubbed gentle circles over her back.

“Like I said, I am really sorry. If you want another TO, I would understand that. But I hope you can forgive me at some point because I have changed. At least I think so. I know you can’t trust me overnight, it’s a process. And just so you know, you are damn pretty. When I have seen you in the conference room yesterday the first thought I had was ‘wow, that woman is pretty and looks so confident’. And I don’t think I broke you. Maybe but you have healed and like a bone that just gets stronger when it is healed again, you are stronger too. I have seen it when I was patrolling with you. You are a strong and damn hot woman, Lucy.”

Tim hugged her. Gently so he wouldn’t frighten her.

In that moment, the door opened and Lopez stepped inside with Livy. It was obvious that Angela heard the whole conversation, and Livy seemed to recognize the tension too, which wasn’t hard with Lucy who was still crying in Tim’s arms.

Livy ran to her and patted her cheek with her small hand.

“No crying, Lucy.” She hugged Lucy with her small arms and she couldn’t help but smile at the adorable girl.

Maybe she couldn’t trust Tim just yet. But maybe after she spent the next days with the 4-year-old and her stories about her dad it would be a little easier.