#I’m planning on selling them individually to friends first but if anyone wants a set

[cosmicpines]

Guess who made poor financial decisions

[scoundrels-in-love]

"we’re roommates and you drunkenly passed out in my bed; move over I’m coming in" bed sharing thingy uhhhhh stryfewood or mashwood. will send vashmeryl one shortly

Hi hello my love, sorry for taking honestly forever to write this, but you know why.

Here's a little something as first part of Love like moon phases, from an unexpected Meryl POV and it also sets up the situation a little bit. :)

| Mashwood | Cohabitation | Bed sharing | AO3 |

---

It's a bad idea, her coworkers had said. She hadn't really meant to tell them that her two best friends are moving in her recently inherited house - Milly's enthusiasm for the idea and loud planning had exposed them to the fact. The tall brunette had been the only one excited, the rest insisted it would be weird to share the space with them and surely a way to ruin a friendship. Few had insinuations that Meryl didn't care for - even if there was something between the three of them, it was nothing for strangers to leer at like it was their free adult movie fantasy playing out on edge of their perception. 

Meryl hadn't budged on her decision, having turned the concept around in her head until it was smoothed like a pebble by the sea, long before she even floated it by the two men. 

Frankly, it had meant to be just a coincidence of circumstances, a temporary thing - Livio was moving out of his and Wolfwood's place to pursue his dreams and their lease was up with pending rent raise while Vash needed a place closer to his new job and also to escape the rent increase. And she… She had come in possession of a house far too large for one person, with rooms that sat quiet, dappled in sunlight of sporadic memories.

Between selling the place and offering her closest friends solutions to their problems, she'd chosen the latter. Even if Meryl's had had to convince the men it was actually not a bother. They'd been strangely resistant, despite often staying over a couple days at a time already. Nervous almost.

Thinking about that and her colleague's unsolicited opinions, it had sowed some worries - what if it did ruin their odd, wonderful friendship that had felt home in times when she had not had one? 

Now, a year later, she could tell every doubter they are full of shit and nothing else. And no one's brought up moving out even once.

Not that it was always easy; all of them came with their own quirks and habits that did not always mesh perfectly. Wolfwood would get worked up when they made a mess in a hurry or drank the milk and didn't bring new one back in the evening - worse yet if they put the almost empty carton back in. She'd get frustrated when they couldn't be quiet on weekend mornings when she wanted to sleep in and, sometimes, just because she wasn't used to sharing her space with anyone. Vash threw most pout-clad complaint fests of them all, but they carried the least weight and he'd be easily appeased.

Living so close also highlighted the cryptic habits of her housemates, the way Wolfwood would disappear for at least a night each month and she wasn't buying his excuse of wild night drinking for a second. The way electronics and plants and even animals behaved oddly around Vash, which she had written off as a one-off thing or tricks of the light and eye, before. Meryl was not a fool and they knew it, so she wished they would trust her with all the numbers in these equations, but she also understood why they had not yet, why they had had their hang ups over sharing the living space in the first place.

In the end, all of it felt inconsequential to the way their cohabitation actually is. Which was - home cooked meals shared around a table as they laugh and tease each other, or prepared and set aside to be heated up when one of them would come back too late, mornings with coffee waiting for her and them gathering to look over the to do lists that she dutifully maintained for the household and them individually, weekly movie nights if their schedules allowed where they piled together on a couch that is almost too small but no one really wanted more space, and so much more - like the impromptu karaoke and gaming nights, such as this one.

It's too much thoughts, really, for someone with so much alcohol, even if it's mostly beer, in their system,  so most of it manifests in this giddy, bubbly feeling in her chest, a truth-thought of I am so glad to have them (here), as she washes her hands and splashes her face with some water in the bathroom before making her way back to her room. 

She pauses in the doorway, huffing at the sight before her. The console is still on, playing the menu music, but the controllers are forgotten on the floor, among packets of snacks in varied states of empty that have been kicked off the bed to make space for the two bodies stretched out on it. It looks like Wolfwood went down first and then Vash laid down to watch him quietly, fondly as she's caught him to do often, before the tipsy drowsiness caught him as well.

There's an ache in her chest, but the good kind, she thinks. Like she's so happy, so content she doesn't know how to process it otherwise than this bubble expanding in her chest to point it presses into her organs, demanding more space. And maybe edged with just a touch of what ifs and all the scary, beautiful things they contain. Because these last few months, it feels like they're all starting to come closer to some kind of precipe, some kind of wanting, or realization it has been there the whole time.

Maybe the change is inevitable indeed, but they will be happier for it. She really wants to believe that. 

Meryl turns off the console and pads over to the bed - larger than needed for a single person because she likes to be comfortable and tosses around in her sleep, but nonetheless almost entirely taken up by her friends - and assesses the best angle from which to climb in. In the end, she unceremoniously clambers over Wolfwood's legs and settles on her knees in the middle, receiving only muted noise of complaint from the man as she shifts his limbs out of her way.

It's one of the reasons why she won't even bother trying to get them both awake and back to their respective beds. Too much effort for little result. Nicholas sleeps like the dead when he is like this and it feels unfair to shake him violently out of it. He looks so at peace right now, face smoothing out again, even the little wrinkle between his brows. Her fingers ache to brush an unruly strand out of his face, run down his cheek and jaw. Feel the stubble when she isn't just playfully pushing his face away as he's teasing her over something or other.

Vash shifts in his sleep and pulls her attention to him. He is laying on his right side, facing them both and his left arm is restless, trying to find a better position. But there isn't one good enough to relieve the pressure of the prosthetic where it connects and Meryl frowns with concern, before shuffling closer and gently shaking Vash by the shoulder.

He makes the soft little noise that goes straight to her heart as he opens his eyes and she could swear they almost glow in the low light before he blinks it away. 

"Meryl? Oh, I-" 

She shushes him, motioning with her head to sleeping Wolfwood.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep, sorry. We will be out in a second," he tries to reassure her, whispering now, but Meryl only shakes her head.

"It's fine, getting him to his room is more hassle than it's worth. Besides, not the first time we've all slept like this," she reminds him softly, before explaining why she disturbed his rest, "I woke you just so we can get your prosthetic off. You shouldn't sleep with that."

It's too dark to really see the emotions play across his features, but somehow, Meryl can picture them just fine. The surprise that melts into startled affection. Like every time someone shows any genuine concern for his well being. She has wanted to melt it away with consistent care for years now.

"C'mon," she pulls him into a sitting position and quietly, they work on removing the artificial limb. She's done it enough times to know the latches and screws by touch now and they work fast, though their fingers sometimes brush when they move onto the same bit next,

When it's off, briefly laid across their laps, she smoothes down some creases of his black turtleneck's shoulder, where it's sewn closed over the end of his stump. It's a pointless endeavor, really, but it has her touching him a moment more, so that makes it a necessary one in her tipsy brain.

He sways closer to her, as if there was much space between them in the first place, and his forehead brushes against hers. She leans to close the rest of the gap. "Are you sure it's okay?" Vash asks, barely audible even at this proximity. 

Part of her knows he doesn't just mean them staying in her bed tonight. 

All of her knows the answer is the same. Sober or drunk, by morning light or just the starlight swirling in his gaze. 

"Yes."

They stay like that for a second or minute or two, comfortable in this half spoken something and their closeness, when the world suddenly shifts and with a surprised squeak, she's on her side, pulled flush against Wolfwood who, despite everything, still seems to be deeply asleep. He nuzzles into her hair and sighs softly, hot breath tickling her neck and ear. She knows it's all instinct and sleep, but the way he reached for her like she was something his, something safe and needed catches in her throat

Vash laughs softly, before carefully setting his prosthetic down on the bedside table and laying back down. 

There isn't space for him to keep distance even if he tried to, but he shifts even closer. He can't put arm on or around them like this, but he seals her between his and Wolfwood's body nonetheless, chin resting on top of her head. She swears it almost feels like there's soft vibration trembling through him, soothing like a cat's purr.

There's no hope of getting a blanket over them at this rate, but she feels warm and comfortable all the same, to the point it doesn't even take her ten minutes of wiggling and shifting to settle down. Meryl rests one of her hands over Wolfwood's wrist holding her still and curls the other close to Vash's chest, eager to be near that subtle rumble, and lets their warmth, their closeness and the happiness gleaming within her lull her to sleep.

[estellamiraiauthor]

The Stars May Rise and Fall: The Annotated Re-read (Chapter 19)

So, after finding a chapter I actually really liked, I’m definitely less proud of chapter 19.

*sigh* Spoilers under the cut!

This is another part that’s largely there for scene setting, and I guess the nostalgia factor, because we get to see what it’s like at one of these uchiages… which I guess you’d translate as “after party.”

There are a couple different types of uchiage, some definitely more fun than others. If the band is really small and doesn’t have many fans, it sometimes isn’t much of a party at all, but just an impromptu “Let’s go for drinks.” Sometimes an individual band will set something up… there will be a sign at their merch table or the staff will ask anyone who hands in a questionnaire if they want to go. Those usually end up being pretty casual too. If the uchiage is for multiple bands, ESPECIALLY if the host is an event planner or a super famous band, it can get a little more formal, where the band members, staff, and fans all have to sit at separate tables at the beginning, and you never really know if you’re allowed to go around to the other tables and mingle until it starts. At anything that’s planned (whether for a single band or an event), the band members generally don’t pay. The fans pay for both their own food and drink and a portion toward the musicians’… which seems fair enough if you’re allowed to speak to them, but always felt like a giant ripoff at the “no mingling” events… you’re supposed to pay for the privilege of being at the opposite end of the room as someone who isn’t actually all that famous to begin with? Meh. I didn’t really go into some of the ickier aspects of the scene… Teru’s band is all basically decent people, and there WERE definitely bands like that too, but there were also bands who basically prostituted themselves out for Vivienne Westwood bags or whatever, and otherwise abused the power they had over their fans.

ANYWAY! This is a bigger uchiage with more than one band, but none of them are super big (or super full of themselves) so it’s kind of casual. Those were honestly probably the most fun… it’s a little more special than just drinks with friends but you’re also not expected to follow a million unspoken rules? So the band walks to the izakaya with a group of their fans, and after initially sitting at separate tables to do the toast, they do mingle with the fans.

This, of course, reminds Teru that Rei advised him not to do things like this… to “act like a star if he wants to become one.” Rei does have a point there. The bands who acted all holier-than-thou definitely tended to sell better, and this is something I struggle with at my day job too… that people who act like they’re hot stuff get promoted and nice people get left behind. It sucks. But Teru IS a nice person, he knows he’s not holier than anyone, and he’s a giant fanboy himself too, so he definitely really disagrees with Rei on this. This is probably that “fairness” thing coming into play again too… Teru believes that nice guys SHOULD finish first, and he refuses to accept a world where that’s not the case. (And when he is famous at the very end, he’s super nice to his fans… I don’t think that would ever change.)

A lot of this is just kind of scene setting, showing what a “normal” night after a show would be for Teru if he wasn’t always going off to Rei’s apartment, and also just to show that, although this should be something fun, he’s really not enjoying it… just drinking too much and worrying about the piece of paper Chizuru gave him, which he assumes/hopes is some kind of message from Rei.

I honestly don’t really love how angry he is at Rei here… it doesn’t really seem to fit? I guess I wanted him to be angry that Rei sent Chizuru with what was admittedly a petty, jealous message, but Teru did much, much worse to Rei the last time they were together so… maybe he was supposed to be angry at himself or the situation, but in retrospect I don’t love how he’s written here. He comes off angry at Rei when he should be more angry at himself or even just disappointed that he wasn’t able to actually see Rei at the show?

He’s definitely disappointed even further when the piece of paper Chizuru gave him turns out to be not a message from Rei at all, but just Chizuru’s phone number.

And then Kiyomi gets about a million times more annoying… I have mixed feelings about the next scene, where she gets really drunk and kisses Teru. On the one hand… it definitely doesn’t do Kiyomi any favors, and since I didn’t really want readers to HATE her, even if I had exactly zero intention that anyone would be shipping anyone other than Teru and Rei here, I maybe went too far?

On the other hand, I also think the kiss, and then Kiyomi falling asleep in Teru’s lap, and Teru feeling absolutely NOTHING other than the need to talk to and apologize to Rei is what really sort of wakes him up to the fact that he HAS fallen for Rei, and that it doesn’t really matter that Rei’s a guy, or that he doesn’t have a nose, or that he’s almost twice Teru’s age or anything else… He really realizes here that he’s in love, and that he has to leave, even though it’s 2am and he has no idea if Rei will ever want to see him again.

I guess one of the biggest things to take out of this chapter is that I never really meant this to be a love triangle. I actually think a lot of “love triangles” are like that… Suzanne Collins never wanted you to be Team Gale, and Stephenie Meyer never wanted you to be Team Jacob. And Rumiko Takahashi never wanted you to want Godai to end up with Kozue or Kyoko with Mitaka… if anything I think Gaston Leroux’s Phantom is somewhat unique in that you can actually make a compelling case for wanting Christine to end up with Erik or with Raoul. (At least I can… I know people have strong feelings on both sides though,)

But I never really wanted this to be a love triangle… it was set up that way at first, because I wanted to write a retelling, but I think Kiyomi came very quickly to represent the option of staying in the closet, of being what the world expects you to be rather than who you really are. Teru has already decided at this point not to pursue Kiyomi, and so the final choice he makes is not between Rei and Kiyomi, but between Rei and his career….

And I’m getting way ahead of myself here. This was sort of a necessary chapter to move the plot along and get Kiyomi out of the potentially romantic picture, but overall I’m sort of meh about it. Should’ve edited more!

[robininthelabyrinth]

Targets - ao3

- Chapter 6 -

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mistress Wen,” the boy with the gentle smile who called himself Meng Yao said, bowing. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

Wen Qing did not especially want to talk to – anyone,  really, but she really didn’t want to talk, least of all, to a boy some seven years her junior, from another sect with everything that entailed. But just over his shoulder, she could see that Wen Ning was smiling, his cheeks almost bulging with the force of it, as he spoke with the other children, making friends for the first time in his life, and she supposed it was in her best interest to make friends as well.

“I’m not planning on staying, you know,” she told him, just in case, and he nodded agreeably. “I’m a prisoner of war.”

A very comfortable prisoner of war. Who may or may not have put up very little fuss about getting captured when her supposedly secure carriage escort had gotten raided by the Nie sect, especially when their sect leader had recognized her by sight on first meeting and bowed politely instead of taking her head off at once as she might have expected. He’d even asked after her brother’s health – Wen Ruohan hadn’t done that once in the entire time she’d known him, and still less after he’d abruptly gone mad.

And he had, in fact, gone mad.

There was no other way to explain his behavior.

One day he’d been fine, scheming and vicious and narcissistic the way she’d always known he was but also cautious and thoughtful, set upon a slow and inexorable scheme of domination that would see him eventually claim all that he desired, and the next moment he was – very nearly unhinged. He saw himself as the rightful master of the cultivation world, just as he always had, except now it was as if he had had safely it in the palm of his hand and then had it snatched away from him, rather than anticipating a future prize to be eventually savored; he was frustrated and so, so angry, lashing out at all around him.

His sons had loved the idea of attacking the other sects – Wen Xu was old enough to plan out battles, the son of Sect Leader Wen’s previous wife, while Wen Chao, who was still young but old enough to tear off the limbs of small creatures, couldn’t wait to torment the children that had shown him up in achievements, stealing the accolades that he viewed as belonging to him.

They were still young, she’d told herself, and didn’t know better, could still be educated into something like kindness and compassion, but she’d also known that that wouldn’t help them if the other sects defeated theirs - that was the problem with war like this, where there was no room for mercy. What idiot would permit them to live long enough to seek vengeance for their clan?

What idiot would allow her and Wen Ning to live, assuming the same would be true for them?

As a result, Wen Qing had been much less enthusiastic about the whole project, although after her uncle had made an example of the few generals that dared to protest his decisions she was very quiet about her lack of enthusiasm. It didn’t mean she agreed with anything he was doing – that wasn’t new, she hadn’t agreed with anything he was doing for years now, but she’d gotten used to closing her eyes and shutting her ears, but nowadays it was much worse than before. He was acting as though he’d already finished all his carefully-laid plans – the ones he’d previously recognized were necessary as a foundation for the strike he would be ready to make in five or ten years, the one-shot-kill domination of the cultivation world – and nothing, seemingly, could be done to convince him otherwise.

Not even the risk to his precious sons.

The Fire Palace was full of new people, and new things, too, and if Wen Qing ever found out what sick, twisted mind had come up with those torture machines…

“Of course you’re a prisoner, Mistress Wen,” Meng Yao said smoothly. “I am merely acting as a prison guard. Would you like some lunch? Or a bath, or some rest…?”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “You’re not a servant,” she said. “Your clothing is too fine for that.”

“I’m a disciple of the Nie sect, a new one,” Meng Yao said, and she thought he almost sounded surprised about that. “That doesn’t mean that I can’t see to your comfort.”

Wen Qing looked again at Wen Ning, who was now being lured onto the training field and a bow pressed into his hand by excited youngsters. His cheeks were bright red, a sure sign that someone was complimenting him – probably the Wei boy, the Jiang sect’s ward, who was waving his hands around very enthusiastically as if he were trying to sell Wen Ning whole and entire, clothing and crown thrown in for free. The other children seemed just as enthusiastic, though, excluding perhaps the Lan sect’s second young master who mostly just looked harassed but continued to linger as if he were hoping for even more harassment.

It seemed…exhausting.

“A bath would be nice,” she said, giving in with a sigh and wishing, not for the first time, that she wasn’t one of the oldest of her generation. Wen Xu was older, yes, but he obviously wasn’t here, and most of the Nie sect that were her age would be away to war soon enough if they weren’t already. She foresaw a great deal of babysitting in her future. “And then, perhaps, a conversation with some relevant individual to pass along important battle information that I definitely wouldn’t have access to, being a humble and unimportant doctor?”

Meng Yao grinned at her.

“Oh, I think something like that can be arranged,” he said cheerfully. Probably more than he would be if he knew half the information she had to offer was completely insane – for example, her uncle had gotten terribly fixated on demonic cultivation of late, claiming that it would allow a single man to take down a battalion, except he had no idea how to make any of it work. She hoped he never figured it out. “The more the merrier here, Wen-jiejie, and I think we’re all of the opinion that the sooner this war is over, the better. Wouldn’t you say?”

“You’re not the only one who thinks so,” Wen Qing said tartly, not sure if she appreciated the intimacy or not. At least it boded well for her future survival, and Wen Ning’s... “Part of my uncle’s insanity has been his – quite frankly – ridiculous conviction that he needs to kill all of you specifically before you, and I quote, ‘threaten to shoot down the sun’.”

What madman would target the sun?

Maybe they should, though, she thought, and not as unwillingly as she’d always believed she’d be if it ever came down to it. Wen Ruohan might be her uncle, her patron, the one who pulled her up into the sky, and she’d always been resigned to the fact that if he was shot down, so would she; the knowledge had paralyzed her, forced her to be indifferent to his crimes. But the Nie sect was treating her as if she were still Dafan Wen, just different enough to be left out of the dirty water Qishan Wen was splashing all over her surname – through war, through domination, through the attempted kidnapping and murder of lots of innocent children...

Maybe it would be good for him to understand what it’s like to be made a target.

“I like that,” an unexpected voice behind her said – it was the Nie sect leader again, looking unusually boyish without his war-armor and with a smile on his face instead of a scowl. She abruptly wondered how old he was, and how much he’d suffered collaterally when it had been his father who’d been the target instead of her uncle; it hadn’t been something she’d thought much about before. “If there was ever a need to shoot the sun down, it’s now, with Wen Ruohan equating himself for it…it’s like aiming at kite flying in the sky that’s in desperate need of deflating. We could call the war the Sunshot Campaign.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Wen Qing couldn’t help but scoff. “What’s the likelihood that something like that catching on?”

[my-writings-and-musings]

Here's my latest commission from another wonderful and amazing person! A human reader is secretly a pyrokinetic, but an attack on Rodimus forces them to reveal their powers, and the more they unleash the more their appearance changes...

Warning for some violence and angst!

In the back of your mind, your relationship with Rodimus had been oddly perfect and ironic in ways you'd never dare tell him. The Autobot's love of heat had extended well beyond a simple temperature preference; he had a power over fire you'd never seen the likes of before. Even his own species didn't seem to understand how naturally he wielded flames for combat, nor how he possessed such an incredible resilience to temperatures that would have been painful for most. For his part, the cocky captain took the peculiarity in stride, emblazoning himself with fiery motifs and embracing his nature using an adorable mixture of puns and catchphrases.

It was something you loved about him, and while it perhaps explained some of his adoration of the seemingly unremarkable human that had plopped into his life, it also made you a little wary for his sake. If he only knew how attuned with fire you really were...

The thought of him discovering your greatest secret was a daily intrusion, but for today, you decided that it could go on the back burner. The Lost Light would be docking on a planet safe for humans, and you wanted to enjoy the time off to the fullest of your ability. No worries, no paranoia, no thoughts of past rejection... just you and Rodimus exploring a vibrant alien city together. It was going to be perfect.

"Got your debit chip, Y/N? I'm planning on doing a lot of shopping, and I don't want you to feel left out!" Rodimus said, exuberant even by his own standards as he stepped out onto the landing pad. Giggling as you kept your balance on his shoulder, you let the warm light of a foreign star cascade over your body with a sigh, the sight of a bustling alien port making your heart accelerate in your chest. All around you were races from a hundred different worlds, selling their wares and taking rest stops to relax during long intergalactic trips, and the flurry of sounds and sights and smells was intoxicating. You almost forgot to confirm the device Rodimus mentioned was indeed secure around your neck in a makeshift necklace.

"Got it right here! Show me where we should start, Captain!" You held the tiny black square in between your fingers, unable to imagine something so small holding so much value. Evidently it was the spacer equivalent of a debit card, as the name implied, and after a purchase it would simply be scanned and the necessary amount deducted from your account. Its simplicity was almost as hard to grasp as the fact you'd been gifted a ludicrous amount of money for this trip by Drift. In his own words, the ninjabot had told you to spend it on having a fun day with his best friend. The kindness of the entire crew was still so foreign to you...

"Let's check out the surf shop! My last board melted on an especially high power asteroid, so I need a new one." Rodimus said cheerfully, hefting you a little higher so you were right beside his helm. As a somewhat taller than average individual from a naturally towering species, he had an ideal view over everything in sight, resulting in you having the same. Between the packed landing strip and the notion of a store that sold surfboards for space, you were a little too overwhelmed to speak. Rodimus had no such difficulty. "Oh, or if you're hungry, we could check out an interspecies cafe! They've always got lots of earth food, even out here. Especially the extra spicy stuff you like so much."

For an instant, you were taken aback by his mention of your preference. Had he truly been paying so much attention he noticed such little details? On the one, more dominant hand, you were flattered. Rodimus had to care deeply to have noticed you preferred your food as hot and zesty as physically possible.

"I'm not hungry just yet, but thanks." you said in genuine gratitude, hiding some wariness that you desperately wished would go away. In the past your unnatural preferences had been the first clue most had to your "peculiarities", and it had never taken long from that point for things to come together in the worst possible way. Holding on tight to Rodimus for more than just balance, you quickly returned to the wonderful present, refusing to fall into the belief that the past would repeat itself. "I just want to start wherever you think is best. You're the experienced one, show me what's fun around here!"

"Well, if it's fun you want..." he said in a fake contemplative voice, having obviously had an idea he was preparing to spring on you. Taking long strides through the narrow path left by the many other denizens of the spaceport, he gave you an eager and barely restrained grin. Something almost like childish glee seemed to twinkle in his brilliant blue optics.

"There's a holo-suite lounge in some hole in the wall locale by the bay. I've heard nothing but good things about it, and it's all above board. Want to go on a vacation in a vacation?"

Thinking over your limited knowledge of the virtual reality establishments, you knew more than anything how your beloved bot adored the experience of risk free adventure they offered, finding it to be relaxing due to his day to day life. You were more than happy to let him show you one at long last, and chuckled happily as you leaned against his helm. "I'd love to, Captain."

"Yes! I have got to show you the coaster simulation, it's totally wild!" he said in victory, pumping his arms so suddenly you were nearly cast off his shoulders. Recovering quickly and catching you, he let out an abashed cough as he made sure to resettle your tiny form before proceeding far more carefully. In the moment it took you to realize the lack of leg room would make it rather hard for him to trek it anywhere in good time, Rodimus gestured to a narrow gap between skyscrapers. "We can cut through some alleys to get there faster. I plotted it out on the satellite map before we landed."

Though it didn't seem especially smart, there wasn't anything to suggest the move would be dangerous, as the planet had been cleared entirely as a secure zone. The few whisperings of anti-Cybertronian bias were too small for anyone to be worried, so you nodded your assent to use the shortcut. Careful to stick to the narrow walkways for beings of his size, Rodimus kept you secure with one hand as he hopped an underwhelming barrier to access the alleyway, chatting the whole time about all the possible simulations the two of you could try. He's talking so fast it's actually impossible to keep up as he walks between two superstructures and down the alleyway that feels more like a canyon. As the hubbub of the crowd fades to the gentler din of the machinery keeping the city going, it's easy to forget your surroundings entirely, all to allow the other's excitement to wash over you. You don't even notice how the alleyway has tiny side sections for maintenance and smaller species to traverse safely.

Until you see one pop out right in front of you.

Rodimus stops politely, assuming initially he's just met another traveler that he plans on letting pass so as not to be rude. But the alien doesn't move. Though you can't read their expression, the none too tiny organic immediately sets of your alarm bells, and a hot knot of anxiety twists in your stomach as you tense atop your partner's stiffening shoulders. As awkwardness morphs into tension, the Autobot speaks with an even and cool tone.

"There a problem here?"

An answer came not from the insect like being in front of you, but from another stepping out in the space behind, their clawed hands curled about a weapon of unknowable function.

"Typical tin man, cutting corners and plodding around like it owns the place." they said, rasping voice echoing through the translator in your ear. Before you could even guess what they meant by a phrase that was probably intended to be an insult, more began to slowly emerge from splintering alcoves and alleyways, and in moments the two of you were surrounded. Skillful as Rodimus was in a fight, there had to be enough firepower between them all to make this far from an easy win. As heat crackled instinctively to your palms, the Autobot remained calm.

"Look, if this is your filthy back alley, I'll happily leave you to it. I've got better places to be and far more attractive company to enjoy." he said glibly, making you want to kick him for not being diplomatic. For his sake he needed to be, and as for you, situations like this one had never gone well in the past... Your heart began hammering as the lead alien replied with what was likely a glare.

"Bit too late for that."

Like sharks, they began to close in on the much bigger bot. You wondered how things could have taken a turn so quickly. This was a reputable port on a stable planet, how could it be unsafe? Had the two of you not just been planning a day of fun? These aliens had to have been waiting to be this prepared, and as the next one spoke you started to understand.

"Should have stayed in your own corner of space, tin man. We're not gonna let your kind set up shop here."

"Last I checked, this was a bot friendly planet." Rodimus replied, still unnerved but tense as a rock beneath you. He was getting ready, you knew, but for what was anyone's guess. As you held onto him you prayed the plan was solid, because the heat in your body was starting to grow to levels he might notice, and that couldn't be allowed to continue. Hopefully his need to stall wouldn't last long...

The circling group, that you counted at twenty or more, took the bait. "For now, until the beauracracy gets its priorities straight. In the meantime, we're here to make sure you don't bring your trouble to our home, like your kind always does."

"Plus, can't hardly expect the authorities to prosecute what they don't know about, can you?" another said, now so close Rodimus could have kicked them. The hatred in their eyes was beyond you, and their words made the heat in your gut twist into nausea. "Your kind is easy to clean up afterwards; melt down what you can and sell it all offworld."

Rodimus, one hand still steadying you, tightened his grip possessively. Time felt like it was slowing down as you looked about madly for an exit, swearing that the enemy seemed to double every time you blinked. There had to be over twenty of them now, and the high but narrow space gave your partner little room to work with you in the mix, something he seemed well aware of as he next spoke. "What about the human? They're innocent in all this, and organic. Let them walk away."

"They chose the wrong side." the apparent leader clipped.

Bright blue optics looked to you, and a hushed voice whispered at impossible speed.

"Y/N, when I say now, be ready to tuck and roll and run. No looking back, understand?"

There was no time to say you agreed, let alone to argue.

"Now!" he shouted as a high energy weapon began to hum in preparation, followed by so many others. Before you knew it you were being moved in a wild blur. Rodimus made good on his plan, moving as precisely as he could with your comparatively fragile body to toss you over the heads of the enemy. Using the reflexes you'd honed in his company, you did as you were bid more or less subconsciously, curling up and moving with the momentum so that your landing was less than disastrous.

"Rodimus!" you choked out upon catching your breath, turning to see the group advancing with their weapons glowing hot and ready.

I said run!" he shouted, not looking at you before taking care of the first row of attackers with a wide arcing kick. More seemed to be emerging every second, but the Autobot only looked concerned for you as he swiped away another batch. "Get the others! I can hold them off until-!"

With a screech, the first weapon fired, but there was no energy beam or bullet. Instead, Rodimus was ensnared in a tangled mess of high voltage cords, their arcing metallic webs circling his upper body like a snake. Crackling electricity seared across him in a blinding burst, and he was on his knees in moments, crying out at the agony that left him helpless. In rapid succession several more shots were fired. The Autobot was left to scream on his hands and knees, the electronic pulse weaponry having been specifically designed to cripple Cybertronians in seconds and kill them in minutes.

You knew he wouldn't last long enough for you to get help.

In last ditch desperation, you grabbed the cord on your neck and pulled, snapping it so the microchip in your palm could be held aloft. "Please! I have a debit chip worth thousands! Just take it and leave him alone!"

"Just something else to make this more worth our while." the alien you'd begged to sneered, giving you a kick straight to the gut with a deceptively powerful leg. The wind was knocked from your lungs, and you were left trembling on the ground. Vision spinning, you caught sight of Rodimus barely clinging to consciousness, his flaring optics pleading for you to run. Clawed hands had a hold of your arms before you could attempt to fight back, and the leader gave a casual order as they continued to fire pulse after pulse through the metallic web. "Grab the sympathizer; we'll take care of them after this one's fried."

It was clear that survival hinged on the unthinkable. Heat in your gut became molten as you summoned what you knew was your only hope, the air about you filling with the scent of smoke as you looked up Rodimus one final time as his partner. You'd always hoped it would never come to this, but fate, it seemed, was determined to be unkind.

"I'm sorry..."

The aliens on either side of you yelped and released their hold on your arms as the skin went from hot to searing, their confusion turning to fear as the heat only continued to intensify. Your clothes singed and the air thickened, and while it only took moments, the remaining attackers became aware of the change far too late. Shouts of alarm didn't register amongst the crackling sparks that started dancing up and down your body. It had been very long since you'd used these gifts, but you knew the steps far too well to ever forget.

A jet of flame erupted from your palms with the force of a rocket leaving the earth, blasting back numerous aliens from the sheer power. You heard screams but they hardly dissuaded you, as they'd all more than earned what was coming. The heat began to reach levels high enough to clear the air of any moisture, making those still alive after the first blast cough and struggle to breathe, all the while rendering them incapable of fleeing.

You should have just ended it there; cut the flames and told the survivors to get lost, but you weren't done. It felt far too good for you to stop.

A literal ring of fire encircled the gathered aliens, trapping them all in with you as they tossed aside their white hot weapons and tried to find a way out. Rodimus was immune even to the extreme heat, but dazed enough from his shock not to truly be conscious. You stepped over to him as the fire danced at the command of your fingertips. After the fear of the ambush, the choking heat and crackling flames felt like a breath of fresh air. You were at home in the inferno.

Hearing a scream, you realized rather quickly that payback was still due. Smiling softly, you beckoned the fire to move, controlling it with mere gestures and the simplest of thoughts. It danced like a snake would for a master charmer, coiling about the enemy and suffocating them. You were far too busy indulging yourself to notice how the waves of heat washed over your skin, particularly how the flesh hardened and patterns began to emerge like the scales of an otherworldly being. Similiarly, the sharpening of your teeth and the rise of claws from your fingertips drew no trace of concern. All that mattered was how good it felt to make your attackers pay.

There were more than enough of them for you to take your time, and so you did, keeping them corralled in the fire as you picked them off one by one. Had they expected anything like this when they'd made you a target? Had they prepared for the possibility that not everyone would just lie down and die? Had they even bothered to consider the Autobot wasn't the most dangerous being here?

As one body crumbled to ash, you got your answer in a way that made you smirk; clearly they hadn't.

As you began to run low on targets, it occurred to you that keeping up your wall of fire might draw unnecessary attention. Frowning around canines you realized had developed a lovely point, you decided to finish the fun. Clawed fingertips snapped together to command the flames to converge, and they did so in a heartbeat, jumping upon the survivors like rabid dogs on a meal. You barely registered a scream before ash and cinders began drifting past on a hot breeze. With another smile, you recalled their comment on crimes going unpunished when they were properly cleaned up. Dismissing the fire with a wave of your hand, you thought smugly on how these piles of soot would hardly suggest what had happened here.

Rodimus stirred from his daze, groaning in discomfort and shifting beneath the web of deactivated electric pulsers. Frowning at the sight, you summoned a thin jet of fire from your fingertips and got to work. The metal coils turned to red slag with very little effort, which melted down the heat resistant bot's body like wax before dripping to the ground around him. In no time you had him free, and while the flames actually seemed to perk him up a bit, the Autobot was clearly not in a good way. When he failed to awaken after you said his name your confidence started to dissipate. Heart hammering once more, you dropped to your knees beside his helm, hoping to wake him with some gentle encouragement to get him moving.

It was when you laid your hands on his helm that your thoughts shifted to horror, but not for his sake. The normal human hands you had once possessed were now tipped with wicked claws, and as your eyes trailed upwards you saw that your skin was patterned with scales of an equally inhuman nature. Sharp fangs registered with proper horror in your mouth now that the adrenaline of the moment was gone, and you realized that unlike every single time before, you weren't turning back to normal. You must have gone too far this time... How could you not have, killing dozens of people, as desperate as the situation may have been? You had liked it too, and even now you couldn't bring yourself to regret what you'd done...

"Y/N?" a raspy voice spoke up, startling you with good enough news that you momentarily forgot your panic. Rodimus stirred more effectively, groaning in pain but appearing otherwise stable as he lifted his helm off the ground and looked to you. His expression turned to fearful concern before you could speak. "Are you okay? What did they do to you?"

"I..." You didn't have the words. No doubt you were a horrifying sight, twisted as you were and smoking in your burnt clothes... It was a miracle he recognized you at all.

Rodimus narrowed his optics, perhaps thinking everything he'd seen was the result of processor trauma from his shock. "You burned them... I saw... but you don't have a weapon."

"I am the weapon." you blurted out, baring your fangs without meaning to. At his confusion, you tried to explain, a sinking feeling pulling you down as you did so. There was no way you could be with him like this... Appearance aside, you'd awoken a part of yourself you couldn't trust. Still, he deserved to know. "I never told you... I've always been able to do this, but could never go too far, unless..."

"You saved me." he whispered in awe, weak but insistent as he reached for you. On reflex, you pushed his hand away.

"I killed them. All of them. I finally lost control and now..."

Rodimus perked up a bit, looking desperate when your intent became clear to him. Even after a beating, he could read you well, and your decision to leave for his sake was clear in your face. "They were going to kill us both! You didn't do anything wrong-"

"Look at me!" you shouted back, curling clawed hands into fists as each grabbed at your head. You swore you felt newly erupted horns crowning your brows, and that discovery drew sizzling tears down your cheeks. "I burned them, and I liked it, and now I look like this! I'm a monster, and I'd do it again!"

"Y/N-"

Wiping away the wetness from your eyes, you stood up sharply, knowing he wouldn't accept what was best for him. "You can't be with me like this, Rodimus. I'm not even human..."

"I'm not either!" A gentle but insistent hand looped about your middle, turning you back around to look at him before he nearly collapsed from the effort of the movement. Wide blue optics pled to you as he did the same, baring his spark with every single word. "Please, Y/N, I know this is a lot for you but please... don't leave me... I can't lose you."

"Haven't you already?" you said bitterly, optimism nowhere to be found as you surveyed a clawed hand. Rodimus didn't flinch at the sight.

"You think a new look will scare me away? Plus, I'm fireproof, remember? You can't hurt me." he said with his best attempt at a winning smile in his current state. Losing it in an instant, he hugged you closer, optics betraying the depths of his pain and desperation as he did so. The Captain was holding on to you like a lifeline. "I need you, okay? Please, just give me a chance to work this out with you. I love you, no matter what."

It was the first time he'd told you that, but you knew he meant it. A softer heat, like a pleasant campfire, filled the space around your heart. Holding a digit of his in your hand, you gave a gentle squeeze. "I love you too..."

"So stay with me?" he said softly, pulling you in for something like a hug. Getting down on your knees, you cuddled close to his helm, a few stray tears dripping down onto his armor. Rodimus didn't even flinch as he whispered into your ear. "We'll figure this out. I don't care if this is the new normal, as long as you're with me."

"Okay..." you replied, nodding as you recalled the thoughts of irony you'd had just that morning. How perfect he was for you, a fireproof being so enamored he didn't see what a risk you were to everything... But if he was willing to try? Well, you couldn't deny how much you wanted this to work either... Holding him tight, you replied with the best promise you could give at the moment, but like him you meant it.

"We can try..."

Like this? You can commission me for a story of your own here!

[emptysatellite]

breaking and entering according to hy + gar-bear

Ao3

one.

“This is a horrible idea.”

“No, it’s genius.”

Hyacinth was skipping ahead in the moonlit field while Gareth just mopped in amazement. It was midnight and they were at the one place they shouldn’t be; Clair House.

They were only there because of that stupid journal Hyacinth was translating. Gareth’s grandmother, Isabella, had written it throughout her entire marriage, when she moved to England with her new husband. The journal was written in Italian, a language Gareth couldn’t understand in the slightest, leaving Hyacinth to translate for him (although, as she made clear, she was not fluent). Most of the entries centered around Isabella’s daily life, but Hyacinth discovered a secret; a little while before her death, Isabella hid diamond jewelry in the house so her money hungry and gambling-obsessed son couldn’t sell them.

Once Hyacinth found this out, she rushed to Gareth’s, demanding they go to his father’s property at once. Lucky for them, Mr. St. Clair was out of town on a hunting trip, leaving the house completely empty.

“Hyacinth,” he attempted to reason with her, “we could get in trouble for this. Like real, legal trouble. Trespassing and breaking and entering are crimes.”

“Good thing my brother’s a lawyer. Anthony would defend us, no questions asked,” she retorted, hiding behind a tree to get a good look at the dark house.

“I think there would be lots of questions asked, Hyacinth. Lots of questions asked,” he leaned against a nearby tree, although completely in sight of any passerbys.

“I don’t think so. I’m Anthony’s favorite sister.”

“I don’t think that matters in the court of law… Aren’t you studying law? Shouldn’t you know this?”

“I’m studying politics and international relations, actually,” she tore herself away from the tree, strolling closer to the house. “Do you have a key to this place?”

“No.”

“What? Why not?” she froze in place.

“I don’t live here, why would I have a key?”

“I don’t know, you used to live here so I just assumed,” Hyacinth whisper-yelled, turning back to him. She gave Gareth a pointed look, “how are we supposed to break in if we don’t have a key?”

“We could break a window like they do in all those karate movies.”

“This isn’t a karate movie, Gareth! Besides, we can’t break a window; the neighbors might hear something and call the cops!”

“Like the neighbors wouldn’t call the police if they saw two suspicious individuals go through the front door when they know my dad lives alone and is out of town.”

Groaning, she said, “well, do you know anyone we could get a key from?”

“My grandmother, maybe?” he suggested, his calm exterior crumbling upon meeting her angry gaze.

“Professor D?” she demanded.

“I’m sure. She has a collection of keys from homes and apartments she doesn’t live in.”

“Perfect,” Hyacinth gave him a wide smile of pearly white teeth. “I’ll call her tomorrow morning and get the keys by lunch so that we can both come back at nightfall.”

“Aren’t we going on a date tomorrow night?” asked Gareth.

“Oh right! Well, we’ll come here after our date, then.”

There was no point arguing; when Hyacinth’s mind was made up there was no use debating it. They’d be back tomorrow, no doubt in Gareth’s mind.

two.

“God, I love your grandmother.”

“More than me, apparently.”

“Oh, knock it off,” Hyacinth gave Gareth a light shove, playing with Professor Danbury’s key to Clair House in her free hand.

“I wore the cologne you like to dinner and you still wanted to come here to find some stupid diamonds instead of back to my apartment,” he replied.

“Okay, well, three things. First, diamonds are not stupid, they’re my best friends. Second, I love the cologne you wore to dinner, it smells so Gar-bear St. Clair. And third, I still want to go back to your apartment, but when we get the diamonds,” she explained, taking a tangle of manila rope out of her bookbag, with a (seemingly) heavy rock tied to an end.

Her whole statement was questionable. Gareth barely knew how to respond. “Gar-bear?” is what he finally managed. “What is that ?”

Hyacinth laughed, covering her mouth with her hand in order not to wake the neighbors. “It’s your nickname,” she said at last. “Isn’t it cute? I think so. I came up with it last night, when I was making this!”

She pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of the pocket of her leather jacket. “Read it and weep,” she thrust it into his hands.

“ Breaking and entering according to Hy and Gar-bear? ” he demanded. “What the fuck , Hyacinth?”

“I’ve done loads of research on breaking into houses. I’m practically an expert,” Hyacinth replied, throwing the rope up onto the balcony with a huff. “I just thought I should add your name too, even though you didn’t contribute because we’re partners. Get it? We’re partners in crime .”

“Har-har,” his response was much more sarcastic than intended, “disrupting the peace is so funny.”

“We’re not disrupting the peace,” Hyacinth rolled her eyes. She added, “I can’t believe I’m stuck with you.”

“For better or worse.”

“Little early to be saying that, don’t you think, Bud?”

“Nope, your face is adorable.”

“Damn, you know flattery gets you everywhere with me.”

“I know.”

“Climb up the rope.”

“Wait, what?” he was shaken out of the blind flirtation. “You want me to climb that?”

“Of course,” said Hyacinth. “That’s why I brought it. I thought you’d be too wuss to scale the building, so I thought the rope might help.”

“Is it even secure?” Gareth asked, glancing upwards, for any sign (or omen) he should not pull himself up the rope because it was a risk to his health. “Like, will that rock support our weight?”

“Yes; I wouldn’t tell you to do something if I didn’t think it was safe. And the rock should support us… I tried like five other rocks before picking this one.”

“You’ve… already tried this?”

“Obviously.”

“How heavy is the rock?”

“Not sure.”

“Why are we climbing up to the balcony, anyway?”

“To go through the balcony door. Duh.”

“Why can’t we just go through the side door. No one would see us.”

“No one would see us go through the balcony door, either.”

“But going through the balcony door seems more complicated.”

“You know, we’re spending all this time arguing when you could just climb the damn rope and we could find the damn diamonds.”

“No.”

“Do you want me to go first?”

“Yes, that would make me feel better.”

Without another word, Hyacinth caught the rope, pulling herself up in a way that vividly reminded Gareth of secondary school physical education class. Still, she made it to the balcony.

“See, it’s totally safe!” she called down. “Now, come on.”

“I don’t know, I’m still nervous, Hy!” he replied.

“I’m holding the rope tight,” promised Hyacinth, “I won’t drop it!”

“If you drop it, we’re breaking up and I’m suing you.”

“Noted. I won’t drop you.”

And she didn’t. Gareth was able to scamper up the rope safely to see Hyacinth’s wide grin at the top.

“I told you that’d you’d be fine,” she said.

“Yeah, yeah,” he waved a hand dismissively. “You wanna do the honors?”

Hyacinth nodded, taking the key out of her pocket. Carefully, she put it in the deadbolt, twisting it unlocked, then doing the same with the door lever. “Aha!” she exclaimed, opening the windowed door. “It worked!”

three.

“Old Dicky may be an arsehole, but he has good taste in books.”

“Never once in my whole childhood did I ever see Richard in the library.”

“Well, then Grandpa St. Clair had good taste in books.”

“Right-o.”

“Hm,” Hyacinth ran her fingers along the book spines. “So much Shakespeare.”

“God, I hate Shakespeare,” said Gareth, fumbling with his flashlight.

“Literally stop. We’re breaking up. Right now,” she replied, turning her nose up. She sneezed.

“Bless you.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

“I have dust allergies, just so you know.”

“Good to know.”

“Now, Isabella wrote that the diamonds ―or another set of clues that will lead us to the diamonds―should be in the place where the imagination can run wild,” Hyacinth said, “so I assumed it was the library. What do you think?”

“It could also be the nursery,” suggested Gareth, “because my brother and I would play there all the time; I assume Dick and Uncle Ed would have done the same.”

“That’s true,” she scribbled a note on her arm. “We’ll check the nursery after we finish here.”

“Hyacinth?”

“Yes?”

“It’s going to take us forever to go through here,” Gareth said, spreading his arms for dramatic effect.

Hyacinth seemed to think on this for a brief moment, tapping her marker against her chin. “Hm,” she finally replied, “it won’t take forever if we get started now.”

“Capital plan,” he commented, rolling his eyes.

“I know right,” she retorted. “Besides, even if we tear this room up, we can just leave it; we’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow, too?”

“Of course. We’re not resting until we find these damn diamonds.”

“Dick is coming home in less than a week.”

“We’ll just have to be very thorough and efficient then,” she replied. “Now, do we want to start by ripping the books off of their shelves? Or go through all the drawers and cabinets by the desk?”

“I’ll do the desk and you do the shelves.”

“Works with me.”

They went to work, flashlights glowing in the dark library. They didn’t talk, concentration ruling their motions.

“I think I found something!” Hyacinth called, after less than an hour of searching.

“What?” Gareth replied, looking up from the stack of dust-covered papers he was flipping through.

“Hold on, I’m translating,” she paused. She looked up at him, saying, “basically, the hint is that the diamonds are in a washroom.”

“There are five washrooms in this house!” he groaned, collapsing onto the nearest chair.

and four.

“We’re literally going to jail. We’re going to spend the night ―and probably quite a few nights―in jail! ”

“It’s okay, Anthony will defend us in court. Simon will too, I’m sure; I’m his favorite sister-in-law. He got me a miniature pony for my sixteenth birthday, you know.”

“Hyacinth, I’m glad you and Simon and Anthony have good relationships, but we’re still going to jail! ”

“Lower your voice, you’ll upset the cop,” Hyacinth shushed Gareth, placing a finger on his lips.

“I think the cop is already upset,” he replied, grumpily, “because he just arrested us for breaking into my father’s mansion and we didn’t even find the diamonds.”

“Okay, to start, Richard is not your father ―” she started, waving her hand dismissively.

“Believe me, he’s made that clear―” Gareth interrupted.

“But Edward is.”

He blinked. “What?”

“Edward is your dad.”

“Edward? As in my uncle Edward ?” demanded Gareth.

“No, as in your dad Edward,” Hyacinth replied.

“Are you serious?”

“Of course I am.”

“Uncle Ed was my dad?”

“Yes, didn’t you hear what I said?”

“I did,” he breathed in amazement, “I just―it’s hard to believe.”

“You can come to therapy with me, if you want,” Hyacinth suggested. “I have my weekly sessions on Wednesdays.”

“Honestly, I might have to take you up on that offer…”

“There’s no shame in it. My therapist is the best, I’ve been working with her for years.”

“Nice, nice.”

“Oh! I forgot to add,” she reached into her jacket, pulling a trinket ―no not a trinket, a necklace, bracelet, and set of earrings―out of her pocket, “we did find the diamonds.”

“Holy shit!” exclaimed Gareth.

“Shh, the cop will hear,” she mumbled, untangling the jewelry from one another.

“I just… Hy, you’re amazing!”

“I know,” she flipped her hair with her free hand, “I’m told all the time.”

“Where did you find it?”

“In Clair House. Duh.”

“No, I meant , where in Clair House?”

“Under a floorboard in the nursery washroom. When we split up and you were in the master washroom.”

“We’re here, hooligans,” the policeman peered at the couple through the rearview mirror.

Hyacinth locked eyes with Gareth, slowly putting the diamond jewelry back into her jacket. She smiled at him and he returned a favor.

Still, they spent the night in jail.

[shhhlikeme]

Hello! Can I get an S/O that’s tall (not like super tall but like 5’9, 5’8, maybe even taller) and she’s really insecure of her height with Tsukishima, Atsumu and Kuroo. It can go into NSFW

Hi! 🥰 You may! I’m 5’4 but one of my best friends in high school was 5’11 and she was always insecure about her height even though she was stunning so this felt relatable and I want every tall girl to read this!!. Let’s just say reader is 5’10” to be safe. Why not!

Also, I only wrote for Atsumu and Kuroo here because the writings are relatively long and I want to get to all suggestions. If you still want a Tsukki version in the future just request again okay? xo

Atsumu | Kuroo x Reader Who is Insecure about being Tall

Atsumu

After a long chase and his relentless pining you had finally agreed to be this boy’s girlfriend last week

The first thing he wanted to do was show you off

The two of you were getting ready for Atsumu’s College Formal Athletic Banquet, where his volleyball team were the guests of honour

As it usually goes in relationships, the blonde boy was ready way before you

but it wasn’t like you two were late so he wasn’t complaining

He also wasn’t complaining because that meant he could watch you put on your finishing touches

As much as he loved when you were makeup-less and natural more, there was something sexy about the way you applied your lipstick and the way you ran your hands along your long torso to straighten the dress you had on to your hearts content

He was leaning against his bedroom door frame silently gawking at your beauty

He admired your long legs that peaked out under the double slits of your dress because they looked like like they went on for days

In his head, he thanked every God and Deity out there for making him the lucky son of gun who gets to call you his date

Man, the guys are going to be so jealous, he thinks as you sit down, stretching your legs out in front of you to apply lotion on your legs individually

Mesmerized, Atsumu licks his lips. get your bf girl he’s about to pounce

He kinda wished your dress was shorter like the drool-over-me dress you wore when he first saw you at the club with your friends

That night you were the tallest girl in the club which meant you commanded all of the attention on the dance floor. Atsumu can recall perfectly how thirsty he felt which had nothing to do with the fact that he hadn’t visited the bar yet watching you—this beautiful, tall Goddess of a woman confidently striding past her admirers too low to even get your attention.

He told his friends that they better not dare hit on you and when they protested he shot them a menacing glare so intense they immediately stfu

Back in the present, he also wished your dress was shorter so that your God-Tier legs weren’t playing a sultry peek-a-boo game with him all night that he was sure to lose

You’re tempting him

But on second thought, he remembered how other guys looked at your legs that night at the club and thought otherwise

Atsumu’s eyes recovered from their glaze over as you stand back up and fix your hair one last time before you spot him in the mirror and smirk.

“I’m ready.” You say simply.

Atsumu cleared his throat and pushed himself up into a standing position, ready to compliment you until your face turned red.

“You look—wait you’re not ready. What about your shoes?”

You peered down at your feet in simple nude flats. You sighed.

“Atsumu......I changed my mind.”

Atsumu raised an eyebrow at you disapprovingly.

“Y/N.”

He asked you if you wanted him to call your best friend Mariah, who always forced you to wear heels. She did this at the club the night you met your incredible boyfriend and has held it over you ever since.

Atsumu walked to the corner of his room where you had set down the box of gorgeous high heels that you were planning on wearing tonight if your insecurities didn’t get the better of you.

Looking like a prince, he walked back over to you with an intense expression. You couldn’t look away from his eyes. He backed you up until the back of your thighs hit his chair and you sat down.

Your boyfriend stared down at you.

Still maintaining eye contact, he slowly took a knee in front of you in his expensive suit to run a hand down your long legs

“If my coach wasn’t making us go to this thing tonight, I would have you screaming my name right now with these fucking remarkable legs wrapped around my ears, baby girl.” He took off your flats gently and replaced them with your heels.

Is this Cinderella or whattt? How could he be so romantic and so utterly seductive at the same time?! Your breath shortened at his words

“I’m still debating it.” Atsumu stated before groaning as he caressed your perfect legs in the new shoes. “Do not rob me of the rare opportunity to see them look even better in heels.”

You shivered at the chilling undertone in his deep voice. It was the same voice he used when he was inside you, talking you through your release. He spoke again.

“If you do, there will be consequences.”

Kuroo

“You were bullied.... for being tall?”

Asked your boyfriend Kuroo for the third time since this conversation about your biggest insecurity had started.

The two of you were lounging in the pool in your backyard. He was in the water, his chiseled arms folded in front of him as he propped his upper body on the edge of the pool. You sat your bum on the edge beside him, only allowing your feet a dip in the water.

You nodded for the billionth time

The boy looked perplexed

“But, you’re so beautiful...? And I thought it was a good thing to be tall.”

He was always praised for it his whole life so he took a lot of pride in being shy of 6’2.

You calmly explained to him that anyone can get bullied and you definitely didn’t look this way before puberty. That you stood out like a sore thumb, all the boys avoided you -and that it’s a good thing to be tall when you’re a male. That the trend was always how cute “fun sized” girls were and not how cute your 5’10” frame was. You explained to him that it was the same way girls dismissed short guys and fawned over the ones that looked like him.

“I see.” Your freakishly good looking boyfriend pushed his wet bangs back and out of his face. “I guess I never really thought a girls attraction was dependent on her height. I mean, you do know that guys only like the fun sized girl because it made them feel better about themselves, in terms of feeling able to protect the girl and stuff. It had everything to do with how it makes the guy feel, not how valuable the girl was.”

You nod slowly because you never thought of it like that. Still, you were not sold on why you should drop your insecurities when they were very relevant

“And.... Kenma is considered pretty short, right?” He shrugged, thinking about his best friend. “Girls confessed to him just as much as they did to me, if not more...”

You tried to find a good comeback to that but you couldn’t.

“You look like a freaking Victoria’s Secret Model, Y/N. You wouldn’t if you were short. When you wear lingerie for me or this bikini.......” His eyes visibly darkened as he drank in your body. “To be fair you look better than any model. By far.” Halting himself from checking you out he lifted his eyes back up to yours before he started humping the pool wall. “All guys liked Victoria’s Secret models at that age when you were being bullied, and if any of them were to say that they wouldn’t sell their right arm and jump at the opportunity to date one of them, no matter how tall the model was, then they were fucking lying. We actually really love tall girls they’re just intimidating. Boys talk but everyone was probably just jealous of you. I mean, you’re my girlfriend and I still feel like bowing every time you walk into a room, you just command attention. I can kiss you without leaning down much which is the bessst, and our bodies match up flawlessly in bed. I love it. Height is power, babe. If you were with another guy and I saw you I would be sooooooooo salty because how did he get the confidence to approach someone that looks like you??? That’s why I had to ask for your number when we met. I would be kicking myself if I didn’t. Not only are tall girls hot and you could be a Victoria’s Secret model, but YOU are a dream come true for me.”

You shut your mouth completely. Your boyfriend always knew how to make you feel better and he didn’t even know it.

“Thanks, babe.... I love you.” You smiled at him suggestively and lifted your sunglasses to rest on top of your head. You pulled your legs out of the water and swung them to the side in order to stand up and walk over to the beach chair.

Kuroo couldn’t believe his eyes as he watched you literally look like a front-page super model in real-time. Your legs were so long and sexy. He wanted to leave hickeys on every inch of them.

“Hey, speaking of Victoria’s Secret... that reminds me.... I have a few more sets I’ve been dying to show you.”

You wrapped a towel around your body and looked back over at your boyfriend whose eyes were so dark it made you slightly dizzy.

“You always know how to make me feel better..” You cooed at him, pretending his gaze wasn’t making you wet. “Let me return the favour.” You daringly turned your back to him and tugged on the two strings that unravelled your bikini top.

Kuroo gulped.

Before you walked back inside your house, you carefully lobbed the bikini top over to your boyfriend who caught it in the air with perfect athleticism.

Frozen with lust, Kuroo stared at your retreating figure. You were so tall which he was sooo happy for because that meant you had more skin to worship for hours on end. He craved you.

“Fuck me, Y/N.” Your now horny boyfriend cursed as he thought about what you looked like under that towel, dressed only in a thong bikini bottom. “You are so gonna get it.”

[folderolsfollies]

title: Three Can Keep A Secret (If Two Of Them Are Dead) pairing: Sangyao summary: I just wanted to let my stupid murder twinks have a nice day and plan a fake-date.  (discussion of sexual assault - if you want to skip it go from the paragraph ““You’ve been talking to Xiao Xingchen,” to “Nie Huaisang thankfully gets the hint”)

Meng Yao has had enough.

Hasn’t he worked harder than anyone he knows, learnt enough to be the equal of spoiled children who could spend their children at tutoring programs and not second jobs, hadn’t he lied and schemed and shoveled shit so that his father, his biological father, would even deign to look his way? After all that, is he not owed - everything, really - but at the very least something? And if he can’t get his reward, can he not at least get his revenge?

He calls his oldest friend, and lets it ring all the way through as it goes to voicemail. When he calls again. Nie Huaisang picks up on the second ring.

“Sorry Yao-ge, figured if it wasn’t important you’d leave a voicemail and if it was important you’d just call again,” Nie Huaisang explains, with the edge of a laugh trilling his voice, not sorry at all. “So tell me, why have you made me suffer through an actual phone call instead of texting me like a civilized human being who’s joined the 21st century?”

“I want to bring my father down,” Meng Yao says, and then hastily snaps his mouth shut. There’s something about Nie Huaisang which makes him speak too hastily, allow too much of his real emotions, real anger out. The wild shriek of laughter Nie Huaisang is emitting right now isn’t helping with that.

“Hell yeah, love a scheme,” says Nie Huaisang comfortably, and from the muffled thud it sounds like he’s settling in.

“Nie Huaisang, are you putting your feet on the table?” Meng Yao says. Meng Yao is not a mom friend. Lan Xichen is a mom friend. Meng Yao is cool. And, if he is continuing to indulge in wild hypotheticals, Nie Huasiang is a jock.

“So mean to your rescuer, Yao-ge! Do you want my help or not?” Nie Huaisang says.

“I could ask Xichen instead,” says Meng Yao, annoyed, and winces. He’s definitely off his game.

“Lan Xichen will tell you to hug it out,” Nie Huaisang points out, “that’s why you didn’t call him, you called me: your meanest friend. Now tell didi what happened.”

Meng Yao opens his mouth. Then he closes it. Nie Huaisang is the last person on the planet that would judge him for familial related hysterics. But he’s not quite at the point where he can untangle the web of hatred and obligation and trampled love that he feels whenever his father is around and present it for public consumption. He’s not even at the point where he thinks he can try.  “I don’t really want to talk about it,” he says, and if his voice is low, at least it doesn’t shake.

“Sure, whatever. I’m assuming that you already have a plan in place?” Nie Huaisang instantly says, cheerily.

“You’re just agreeing to this?” Meng Yao says, shaking his head. “People will take advantage of that, you know,” he says, and the words come out with the solicitous edge that he always feels compelled to adopt with Nie Huaisang. There’s a fifty-fifty chance that Nie Huaisang will say, “But it’s not people, it’s you”, and then Meng Yao will say --

“I mean maybe I’d say something if it were Zixuan you were targeting, maybe, but Jin Guangshan? You don’t need to sell me on a revenge plan against him, Yao-ge,” Nie Huaisang says breezily, like it’s that easy. And maybe to him, it is. “Also I’m agreeing to hear you out, not to get involved in anything, by the way, you’ll need to bribe me for that.”

“I already bribe you,” Meng Yao points out, and smiles reflexively, as if it could soften the words over the phone.

“That’s great, then! You already know what works on me!” Nie Huaisang says.

Meng Yao sighs, but he’s smiling, and it's a real one this time. “He’s having a charity gala in a few weeks, and I’m going to be there, as an organizer. I’m allowed a plus one.” He knows this for certain, because he wrote the invitation code.

“Yao-ge, are you going to bring someone shocking?” Nie Huaisang says, all conspiratorial glee and instant understanding.

“Yes,” says Meng Yao, swallowing, trying not to think about what led him here after he worked so hard to gain his father’s favor, or about the way Nie Huaisang’s voice dipped low on his name.

“So you want someone male, to activate his old-man homophobia, and frivolous enough that he can’t even say this is some sort of business strategy. I’ve got a couple of candidates,” Nie Huaisang muses, and Meng Yao can hear his smile through the phone. “How about, oh, Wei Wuxian? He’s always my personal choice when I need a chaos agent.”

“Lan Wangji would kill me,” Meng Yao replies automatically. If he halted that slow-moving daytime soap opera any more, he thinks Lan Wangji would just be the first in a very long line. He briefly mulls over the merits of seducing Wei Wuxian just to stop having to look at their insufferable pining gazes.  “Huaisang…”

“Well, how about Xiao Xingchen, then? He’d be nice enough to agree, he’d probably think he was taking a principled stand against bigotry,” Nie Huaisang says, in his best butter-won’t-melt voice.

Here’s the thing. Meng Yao knows exactly what Nie Huaisang is doing right now. And still he finds himself saying “Huaisang… I don’t want Xiao Xingchen,” because then Nie Huaisang will laugh and say -

“Oh, you want me, gege? Now what will I get for that?”

A small part of Meng Yao, still, after everything he knows about Nie Huaisang, wants to say “Anything.” And in truth, there is little that he would not give to Nie Huaisang. Meng Yao sometimes feels like it’s Nie Huaisang’s knowledge of this fact that is the only reason that Meng Yao still gets to set the terms.

“First of all: exposure.” Meng Yao says crisply, relaxing into details. “It will be well attended. Madame Yu will be there, and you can get an introduction that doesn’t need to go through her children.”

“And?” Nie Huaisang says.

“It’s minimal work. We go in, get photographed, and get out. We really just need to be seen for this to work.” Meng Yao lists off.

“And?” Nie Huaisang says, and he’s definitely fucking with Meng Yao now, but what he doesn’t know is that Meng Yao also has an ace up his sleeve.

Meng Yao pauses for full dramatic effect and then pulls out his trump card. “And it’s a masquerade.”

“Meng Yao,” whoops Nie Huaisang, delighted as a child, “why didn’t you lead with that?”

“I led with the opportunity to inflict social repercussions on a known missing stair in the community,” Meng Yao says virtuously, “at great cost to my own career in the company.”

“You’ve been talking to Xiao Xingchen,” Nie Huaisang snorts, and maybe that easy understanding that sometimes bodies need to get buried is why Meng Yao only wants one person on his arm for this. “If you really wanted to expose him properly, there has got to be a woman willing to go on record against him.”

Meng Yao feels three bright stabs of pain in his palm, and realizes that he’s clenched his fist hard enough for the nails to bite in. He relaxes every individual finger.  “That won’t work,” he says, calmly. Always calmly. “He’ll get a slap in the wrist and those women’s lives will be ruined for nothing.” And so will his, he thinks.

Nie Huaisang thankfully gets the hint and changes the subject. “Whereas this way, you get a cozy, sympathetic interview in GLAD magazine about how some people can’t keep up with the times, and some exposure that you can use with more liberal companies. Bold move, A-Yao!”

Meng Yao really can’t help himself. “I think Lan Wangji would agree.” Lan Xichen won’t stick his neck out for Meng Yao against the Jins, but Lan Wangji’s sense of virtue can be played like a fiddle. And as Lan Wangji goes, so goes the nation, apparently. Meng Yao thinks he can play this just fine.

Nie Huaisang is laughing approvingly. “You’re my favorite, Yao-ge,” he says, because, Meng Yao reminds himself, he’s a flighty child who says that to anyone who made him happy for more than five seconds, and Meng Yao is just stupid enough to still want it.

“So I’m going for provocative but in a way that appeals to subscribers to the New Yorker,” Nie Huaisang muses. “I’m very good at being a good-for-nothing piece of arm candy, you called the right guy.”

“That’s not true, Nie Huaisang, you know that,” Meng Yao says, because Nie Huaisang’s inexplicable urge to constantly downplay his own intelligence is one of the most baffling things about him.  

Nie Huaisang just hums and doesn’t answer. “Well, I’m in, if I have the time,” and then he adds, because he’s still Nie Huaisang, “and maybe you’ll owe me a favor!”

Meng Yao lets himself think for a beat about Nie Huaisang owing him that sort of favor - flushed cheeks, tangled hair - and then sighs mildly. “I suppose.”

“I’m going to take advantage of that,” Nie Huaisang says, and the phone clicks off.

[im-the-punk-who]

Can I ask your opinion on Woodes Rogers?

Oh boy. Oh boy, howdy. I mean you can.

So, uhhhh the first time I was really thinking about Woodes Rogers as a character besides just being a little bitch boy was after I read Sage Street’s meta where he talks about the ways in which Rogers mirrors James in the early seasons/pre-series. And that’s pretty much how I see him. 

(On a side note, while I don’t agree with everything he has to say, I highly highly recommend Sage’s meta because it brings up some really interesting parallels and scenic cues, and particularly the meta on the S3 finale just....makes me scream a lot. Some of the painting stuff can get a bit reachy because as someone who works in theatre and has friends in film, some of the parallels is likely more ‘the set designers thought this would be cool’ than a directorial choice but like, it’s still awesome to see.)

But back to Rogers. So, personally, I think he’s a little bitch boy, but that has more to do with the fact that the show sets him up as the upholder of civilization and oppression, in direct opposition to Flint - who seeks freedom and an end to persecution based on society’s morals and whom I personally vibe much more with. Character wise I actually think Rogers is pretty interesting in that, like all the Black Sails villains, he is a complex character. He is sometimes humorous, sometimes charming, and sometimes straight up unwilling to listen to anyone’s voice but his own - hello, Eleanor! (And, yeah, I’m aware that’s how a lot of people describe Flint. It’s purposeful.) While I don’t like him, I appreciate that about him.

He has a backstory that makes it clear what his motivations are and how he reacts when faced with adversity - he hates chaos and wants order and is willing to compromise his own civility if he thinks it will bring an end to those things. In my personal opinion the reason he wants so badly to bring Nassau back in line could be that he thinks it will help him get over the loss of his brother - who died in a random act of chaos and cowardly violence. (And whose name was Thomas....) Like Flint, he is fighting in the memory of someone he idolized. 

The show underlines the similarity between them when Rogers says “All I have done here is finish what you began. I am now what you were then. And without you there would be no me.” 

Here, he is setting himself up as the continuation of James McGraw. Which is super hella rad, since we know that Flint views himself as at least partially a wholly separate persona from James McGraw. And that we’re led to believe that ‘James’ died or was buried when Thomas was taken. While I don’t think Rogers knows the full story I think it’s likely he has a pretty good picture. I’ll direct you to this post where I bring up the fact it’s likely he and Peter were working together on the pardons(and also because I assume Eleanor told him about James being McGraw as she found out during the Charlestown plotline).

Also:

“Everyone is a monster to someone. Since you are so convinced that I am yours, I will be it.”

“If you insist on making me your villain, I will play the part.”

Rogers!! Stop!! Get your own lines!!

I know a lot of people like to compare him to Thomas, and while I think we were meant to see the parallels(hi, they’re both put in green!), I disagree he is meant to mirror what Thomas would have been. In fact, if anything, he is Thomas’ foil, even as he mirrors James. 

Flint even points out this difference: 

“No one is being hanged. No one’s even being tried. Just as you wanted. Just as Thomas Hamilton wanted. So what is it that you’re fighting for that I’m not already offering?”

“Thomas Hamilton fought to introduce the pardons to make a point. To seek to change England.”

Aside from the classic “I want my Thomas back you sonofabitch.” vibe of Flint’s full answer, this is the difference between Rogers and Thomas. While it would ultimately have the same effect as Rogers’ actions - to bring Nassau back to heel - I think it’s important to recognize the intentionality of both characters as it illustrates not just who Rogers is, but also Thomas.

The reason Thomas wanted to offer the pardons was to make a point that pirates are still men deserving of forgiveness. To “offer forgiveness to any man who would seek it.” He is not coming from a point of control, but of freedom. To offer to these men a way forward.

Rogers is offering the pardons as a way to bring Nassau and the pirates back into civilization but we never actually hear him offer a suggestion of what they’re to do afterwards. And indeed, with how he runs Nassau when he has it, it seems he’s much more concerned with keeping control than in offering any meaningful change to the people he governs. 

Rogers is, in essence, exactly what James was talking about all those years ago when he said “Put a man on an island, give him power over other men and it won’t be long before he realizes the limits of that power is nowhere to be seen. And no man given that kind of influence will remain honest for very long.”

This is underlined in so many ways, from his scene with Berringer about ‘dark men’ to where he wants to accept the pearls he knows are from the Spanish gold, to when he straight up threatens Madi with the death of someone close to her in order to try and force her into surrender.

So, I think he’s a really cool character in that he underlines things about so many of the other characters.

However, Rogers is also a little bitch boy and I hate him because he’s is both a little confused and does not have the spirit. :) 

He is everything Thomas and James were fighting against instilling in Nassau - the very thing Thomas realized isn’t the way a good leader should act. Rogers falls very much under that Hobbesian view of The Social Contract - that a monarch or person in power has absolute sovereignty without needing to give value to individuals needs or wants(literally every interaction he has with Max, hi!), whereas Thomas falls much more in line with John Locke, who says that in supporting the needs of the individual, we support the state by default.

(And I can and will go on another whole tangent about this view of Locke vs Hobbes and how it’s a theme throughout the whole show, I can, I will, please don’t let me.)

Rogers is a fantastic villain for S3 and S4 because he illustrates all the ways that civilization puts down revolution and keeps people in line - right up to how his actions ultimately cause Silver to betray the cause and sell out his own friends for a personal safety that is only marginally implied - and still leaves those on the outskirts oppressed! 

Wow! Black Sails! Stop!!

And even though he as a character was eventually defeated, Rogers’ motives and ideas were actually instilled by the very rebel leaders who fought against him! It’s his treaty Rackham and Silver get the maroons to sign! It’s his version of civilization that is imposed on Nassau and the Maroon island even as he himself is ‘defeated’. 

And isn’t that a kicker? 

That Rackham in particular thinks he’s victorious because they’ve defeated the bad guy, but then he goes ahead and uses his plans, proving that it wasn’t the revolution or freedom or Charles’ idea of living free he was supporting at all but his own personal narrative of victory! What a sellout! What a direct parallel to how even progressive-seeming leaders will almost always sell out the ideals of their constituents for their own benefit! Boy, howdy!!

And I know fandom likes to throw him under the bus as all that is wrong with civilization - call him a little bitch boy and cheer his defeat. I know that he and Alfred Hamilton(and Peter, to an extent) get to be the villains in the narrative so our ‘heroes’ Silver and Rackham and even Flint can be put in opposition to them but like - that’s not the point. That’s not the point, that’s not the point, that’s not the point!

The point is that these men were tools of the empire - tools that were incredibly effective! They succeeded! Rogers succeeded in bringing civilization to Nassau. And in doing so he forced the pirates to choose between their own loyalties - he divided the camps until victory seemed hopeless and that is exactly how history generally works in terms of continued oppression. 

Hell, that’s exactly how current political events are happening right now. It’s a tried and true method of oppressive governments to pin things on one particular person (Woodes, or, y’know, Trump?) and say ‘if you defeat this person, your revolution has been successful’ while silently just going ahead with the plans of those people’s ideals anyway. It’s not the people who are the villains. It’s the ideals they perpetuate. 

All this is to say that I don’t feel particular malice towards Rogers other than that I feel towards all the characters who ultimately uphold oppression because I think Rogers is another great commentary by Black Sails on how we get so distracted fighting for what feels good that we can ultimately end up becoming exactly what we thought we were fighting against. 

(”A man casts his vote for the same reason he does anything in this life. Because it feels good.”)

And finally, he’s definitely a little bitch boy for how he treats my girls Eleanor and Madi (and Max) and I would absolutely cross the street to punch him for that alone. :)

[howlingmedic]

Coming Home: Chapter 2

Previous | Next

A/N: Next chapter is up! This one is a little shorter than the last, but I promise the next one will be up soon and will be longer! I hope you guys enjoy it

Warnings: None, swearing I guess. Still kinda angsty, but it’ll be that way for a while. I swear, this fic will be happy eventually.

Chapter 2: Supportive Family

Letting the others know went precisely how Bucky had expected it to, and about ten times worse than Steve could have imagined it. Somehow he failed to account for the fact that everyone would be ready to follow them in going rogue, even though Bucky had predicted it. Maybe it wasn’t that they all wanted to join the two of them so much as they all wanted to go right now. He found himself surrounded by righteously angry Avengers who all wanted to go storm Fury’s office while simultaneously prepared to suit up and jump on a jet. By the time they were done talking, Tony was actually suited up.

“Look!” Steve finally shouted over the top of everyone else in his best Captain voice. “Bucky and I are going to head out tonight. We’re not allowed to tie up any resources or personnel without something concrete, and god only knows if she’s still in Africa,” he reminded them sternly before proceeding, “Are you guys sure you want to help? It’s going to go directly against Fury.” The room was deadly silent by the time Steve stopped talking, but it only took a moment for the first person to chime in:

Tony stepped forward. “I’m in,” he huffed as his faceplate retracted, clearly frustrated with the fact that he had to repeat himself.

“You can count on me,” Clint damn near cheered from where he was perched… before promptly falling off and landing on the floor with a soft thud.

“Those assholes stole my movie night, buddy. Course I’m in,” Natasha nearly growled, and Steve felt the familiar sensation of admiration laced with terror run down his spine.

The rest of the team echoed the sentiments of the first three, and Steve shared a smile with Bucky. They weren’t alone, after all.

“Ok, then!” he shouted over them again, and everyone dropped into silence. “Here’s what we need,” he proceeded once he had the room. He and Bucky had discussed exactly what the team could do from the compound as they had made their way to the roof, and the plan rattled off his tongue naturally - as any other mission’s would. “Tony, we need you to start working on re-enabling the tracker in Allie’s suit. Tracing her grace like we’ve done before is a last resort. We’ve gotta work under the assumption that she’s so far depleted on grace that risking her losing any more is dangerous to the point of lethal, and neither of us is sure that won’t take some from her.

“Natasha, use what contacts you have to see if there’s any black market chatter about selling an angel or godly weapon. Maybe they’ve attempted to or are attempting to use her to make some cash.”

Natasha nodded. Steve pressed on, walking up to each of them individually and slipping far too naturally into the role of the dispassionate leader. “Bruce, I’m going to need you to conference with Cho and everyone else who has studied Allie’s healing and physiology. I’m going to have to assume that with being held for this long, she’s not in good shape. She’s probably going to need all the help she can get. Maybe try to get Strange, Loki, and Thor in on this too. We may need a bit of magic to pull this one-off.” Steve turned next to Clint, who had righted himself back onto his perch. “Clint, for right now, help Nat with anything she needs. When we move in, you’re going to be up, though. I have a feeling having more than one sharpshooter may come in handy.”

The last person Steve turned to was Sam, and he couldn’t help but grin sadly at his best friend. “You know I can always use another set of eyes over my shoulder while I’m working, Sam. ‘Specially when it comes to my family.”

“You want me there, brother?” Sam asked gently and stepped towards the two of them.

“Yeah, think I do,” Steve answered weakly.

“Both of us do, even if you are an annoying bird brain,” Bucky answered the unspoken question that hung in the air.

“Then ya got me, guys. When do we head out?”

“How does an hour sound? That enough time to pack up?”

“For sure. I’ve always got a bag packed in my locker.”

Nobody questioned their task. Not a single soul balked at not being the one asked to come with them. They all understood that as soon as their skills were needed, they would join them in Africa. Just before Steve walked back inside, he turned to his family once more with a wry smile and added, “I know you guys want to bring her home as much as we do. Trust me, I do, but I need you to promise me you won’t back out of other assignments. Fury made it clear that I couldn’t let this come before anyone finishing tasks he gives them, so this has to come second. Got it?”

A chorus of reluctant ‘yeah’s, Steve’s met his ears, and he knew nobody would follow that order, but at least he could tell Fury he told them. That was the most he could do for now.

[whitherliliesbloom]

✿ stories you want to write

Tagged by: @earthlystar, @fistsoflightning, @stars-bleed-hearts-shine​, @windup-dragoon​ THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

Tagging: idk, whoever wants to do this lmao. just say I tagged you!

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a bundle of unfulfilled ideas / headcanons. I have a lot of stories / AU ideas I want to write.. but either don’t have the time or energy to write them... Or you know, I’m just plain lazy.

I’m also kind of leaning more towards Genshin Impact now than FFXIV oops

1) More time travel AU

I KNOW!! I’m the only one who cares about this au okay but 

TIME TRAVEL STORIES ARE ALWAYS SOME OF MY FAVORITE STORIES??? ADDING TO THAT ANYTHING INVOLVING LIKE.. META COMMENTARY AND POSSIBLE 4TH WALL BREAKING??? STEINS;GATE??? MADOKA MAGICA??? CHARLOTTE??? UNDERTALE??? The ability to stop time and rewind time is just such a COOL ASS concept to me?? I won’t shut up about wanting time mage in ffxiv just so I can OFFICIALLY make her a canon overpowered time and space manipulator. Maybe then, time travel au won’t just be an au anymore.

On top of that I just really like Cronus. The idea of an Illya who is so damaged and broken she becomes an entirely different person. I just don’t really have a set plot planned for this au or have any idea on how to resolve the conflict between Cronus, present timeline Illya and Alphinaud... or if I even wanna give Cronus a happy ending iafnioafas. But whenever there’s an opportunity to talk about time travel au, you bet your gil I will.

2) More Nier Automata AU

I kinda lost steam for this AU really really quickly for some reason but.. I had pretty ambitious plans for the plot of this which I really hope I’ll find the inspiration to write out some day.. because I really don’t like just.. reducing my ideas to simple bullet point headcanons. 

Some brief idea of what I had in mind though:

 bad ending depending on illya’s actions at one of the climatic scenes

different ‘good’ endings depending on her last dialogue choice which would lead to her ending up with different love interests. 

love triangle, of course

side plot for alisaie and ryne involving an escort mission

really really meta writing about the meaning of an android’s life and who 2C feels like she really is

scene of 2C regaining memories of alphinaud’s death and losing her shit

Like I said. I’m a bundle of lots of ideas that are almost always unfulfilled. I still really like this au though and I don’t want it to go to waste...

3) More Modern AU

Oops another AU. At least this one isn’t depressing or something that might give you an existential crisis. I have A LOT of headcanons for modern au ffxiv characters... not to mention different versions of the modern au concept. There’s Youtuber Illya AU, there’s highschool AU, there’s that AU where Illya works at a coffee shop and Alphinaud is a university student. 

I just love how laid back and Slice of Life-y modern au can be and I just... really love the idea of Illya living a normal happy life that doesn’t involve her having to kill gods every other day as much as i do love to torture her, yes. 

Some ideas for modern au fics i had:

Highschool AU Ryne asking her friends to cosplay sailor moon characters for a cosplay convention. Laurelis as Sailor Moon and Haurchefant as Tuxedo Mask. Ryne herself as Sailor Venus. Gaia as Sailor Mars. Illya as Sailor Saturn. 

Youtuber Illya attempting to vlog outside her home for the first time while she’s on a date with Alphinaud because her viewers requested it so much. Just pure fluff and the dorks being dorks. 

Highschool AU Illya working on a set of mini terrarium jewelry to sell at the school fair to raise money. The jocks at the school sort of laugh and lowkey bully her for the idea but she ends up making a ton of money.

SOL comedy AU where alisaie and alphinaud both have a crush on Illya sort of compete for her attention. She’s completely oblivious to all of it. 

Cafe AU where Illya has raised enough money (and with Alphinaud’s generous donation) to send in an entry to university. Alphinaud helps her study for the entrance exam. 

More double dates? :eyes:

4) To Aru Majutsu no Index AU

LOOK SOMETHING I HAVEN’T TALKED ABOUT ON MY BLOG BEFORE. I just really like the premise / setting of this anime. ARE YALL READY FOR WORD VOMIT???

Academy city, a city that houses many schools, and research intuitions devoted to the study and advancement of science. Espers are individuals who use scientifically based supernatural powers, all of whom gained and trained their powers artificially under the system of Academy city. However, there is another underground side to the city - a small organization of people with supernatural abilities that cannot be explained by science. They are called magicians - and due to the rarity of magic, and how Academy city is so repulsed by the idea of abilities that defy the laws of conventional science and their understanding, some people even believe that magic is simply a myth or urban legend. 

While espers typically specialize in only one or two types of ability, magicians are often able to wield a variety of different abilities that take time to train and nurture, making them so frightening to the science side of academy. Some magicians even end up dabbling in the occult or black magic.

Alphinaud, a level 4 esper with the ability to physically see energy waves emitted by other espers. Couple that with his high intelligence, he is able to analyze the movements and abilities of other espers and even pin point the weak points of their abilities. His twin sister Alisaie is also a level 4 esper who is able to teleport herself and one other person she touches a certain distance in a radius around her current location. 

Alphinaud comes across Illya on his home from his training program one day, beaten and exhausted on the side of the road. He wants to call the hospital, but she begs him not to, saying she’s afraid that ‘they’ will find her. He takes her back to his home and nurses her wounds. Not seeing any energy waves being emitted from her, he assumes that she is simply an ordinary citizen. He asks her where her home is and how she ended up injured on the side of the road, but she refuses to tell him.

One day, a fight breaks out on the streets near his home, where a level 5 esper has gone rogue and is attacking innocent bystanders. He asks Illya to stay behind while he and Alisaie takes care of the situation. They are outmatched however, and Illya, watching the situation from the balcony of his home finally decides to step in. She easily incapacitates the esper using a variety of magical abilities the twins have never seen before, draining the man of his energy before returning to heal Alphinaud and Alisaie. 

They question Illya later, and she finally confesses to being a magician who is on the run from an organization who had been keeping her captive for the past few years. She has the ability of perfect memory - being able to memorize spells from any grimoire she reads and utilize the powers for herself, though often at some debilitating cost. The more powerful the spell, the more dire and painful the side effects.  She has been forced to read a total of more than 500 grimoires by now, and only managed to narrowly escape thanks to a mysterious man who took pity on her. 

Due to the side effects of her ability, and also having done nothing but be chained up and forced to read grimoires for the past few years, Illya is physically frail and cannot fend for herself beyond using magical abilities, which she is often hesitant to do.

5) Pokemon AU...carmela im looking

Waiting for @windupnamazu​ to provide more details on her pokemon au buttttt i’ve already been working on illya’s sort of backstory, her pokemon team, alphinaud’s pokemon team and other headcanons regarding this au. Also.. working with an artist regarding illya’s design for this au, which i’m very excited to be able to share =3c Not the time yet tho

I actually talked about a pokemon au with Jam as early as June of last year. I made a pokemon team for illya aaaaaand only half of her original team I had for her over a year ago is still in her current team oops. It’s okay, the retconned ones can stay at home and relax with Lachlan. 

6) More amaurotine stuff

Oh finally something relating to canon. I’ve been thinking about Chloris x Apollo from time to time and honestly I.. really love their dynamic.. despite how sad and lowkey awful Apollo can be towards her. But I think that’s part of the charm of what makes alphinaud and illya’s relationship later so sweet, being able to acknowledge that they had their flaws and learn from them ;w;

I had an idea for Chloris inventing a type of flower with the unintentional suggestion of Apollo, and it later makes an appearance where Alphinaud discovers the flower and asks Illya about it. 

7) The twins... no, not the Leveilleur twins

I think everyone’s talked about their lovechildren more than I have and I’ve already kind of explained why I haven’t made any screens or talked about them at length but.. I really do love them so much ;;;; I wanna find the opportunity to write a fic of them maybe spending a day inside with their army of carbuncles... Also @ancientechos​‘ OC Esme (son of haurche and laurelis) developing a crush on one of them =3c 

Also another idea I had involving them is being taken to the site of some of Illya and Alphinaud’s adventures...

8) Butler AU...hey, anyone remember this? 

Remember when I did several comics back to back and was super motivated for this AU? I do. I miss being motivated and inspired and not like.. wrecked with depression. I have plot points... ALSO INTERACTIONS WITH OTHER OCs WHO JOINED THIS AU???? Maybe one day I’ll find the drive again. At least I was able to finish one plot arc!! Which is more than I can say for most of my other AUs. Someone get me back in the shoujo manga mood!!! please!!

9) Idol AU 

Hey idol AU anon where are you.... WHERE ARE YOU?! YOU STILL HAVEN’T TOLD ME YOUR EXTRA HEADCANONS PLEASE COME BACK

10) More Alphinaud and his interactions with DRK Illya

I’ve already written a good number of fics about this, but I still... wanna do more... Acceptance, unconditional love, Illya learning that he won’t leave her despite all her insecurities and flaws... ILLYA FINALLY LEARNING TO IDK ACCEPT HERSELF. HELP.

I just really like DRK Illya okay, and you can pry the symbolism of her duality with her dark side from my cold dead hands. 

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

In the last week or so, it’s started to really, properly hit me, for the first time, that life is going to come back. Not next week, or even next month. But it’s going to come back in the foreseeable future. We’re going to need to figure some shit out.

Obviously, the leaders of the world have to figure a lot out about how the entire world should look post-COVID. The leaders of individual regions and municipalities have to figure out how those will look. And individual people will have to figure out how their own lives and communities will look.

For example, I am part of a community of people from across the country in which most of those involved know pretty much everyone else well enough to follow each other on social media, but only know certain pockets of the community well enough to actually talk to them while not regularly seeing each other in person. Therefore, there are a bunch of people with whom I have not directly communicated in over a year, but I have seen shit go down with them on Facebook.

And some people on my Facebook feed have absolutely lost their minds. That is understandable. Cabin fever is setting in at different rates and in different ways for different people, but it does come for us all. It’s just that some of the worst offenders of cabin fever-induced unhinged Facebook posts are also people who were relatively normal before all this, and with whom I was on decent terms. People who, when real life comes back, I’m to start seeing on a regular basis again.

I am prepared to offer some of these people amnesty for whatever weird shit they got into during quarantine. By “some of these people”, I mean “the ones whose weird shit did not do clear harm to others, especially to the many teenagers in our community who also follow them on Facebook”.

The guy who put hours upon hours of work (and I frankly don’t want to know how much of his own money, but definitely more than $0, and that is too much) into creating a whole new system that will never work and frantically trying to get everyone in the community on board with it like he’s selling a pyramid scheme? If that guy comes out of quarantine, clears his head, and has the normal reaction of being terribly embarrassed about how hard he publicly threw himself into things that even a version of him operating at 50% cognitive capacity knows would never work, I will do him the courtesy of letting it be water under the bridge. No questions asked. No explanation necessary.

That will be my gift to him. The first time I see him at an event, I will make friendly small talk with him about any topic besides what we did during COVIDtimes. We will both move on like it never happened. I will allow him to pretend he did not spend quarantine absolutely losing his mind over an idea that he had to know deep down was not connected to reality. And I will also pretend that I did not spend quarantine learning that Dobby from Peep Show is engaged to the comedy partner of the ex-boyfriend of Janice from the Thick of It, who is best friends with Megan from Peep Show (Isy Suttie – Elis James – John Robins – Sara Pascoe – Cariad Lloyd, for anyone not following). And that’s not even getting into the complex rise-and-fall love story of two people who used to live with the comedy partner of the fiancé of Dobby from Peep Show. It’s fine. I didn’t get concerningly obsessed with this one particular pocket of culture in a way that led to me knowing a weird amount about celebrities’ personal lives. We can all pretend none of this happened.

(On the subject of the great love story of Jon Richardson and Russell Howard, I stopped listening to their radio show a while ago because some of the stuff about Jon’s mental health hit a little too close to home. I meant to only take a short break from it, but then I had a close friend die and was no longer able to listen to any depiction of friendship without crying. I do plan to get back to that radio show soon though. It’s pretty much the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard, it just also ruins my life.)

Obviously, as we move forward, I will feel a little superior to this guy because I had the sense to document my quarantine breakdown on an anonymous forum, while he documented his breakdown on a Facebook page that’s attached to his real name and followed by everyone he knows. But I will be gracious enough to only feel superior about this in my head, and not to say this to him.

So I do believe in amnesty for anyone in my community who spent quarantine losing their mind in ways that did no harm to people besides themselves. But the guy who posted about how COVID is a hoax and vaccines are how Bill Gates microchips people so everyone should ignore health protocols and refuse to take the vaccine? The guy who posted that no one should listen to the advice of Canada’s top doctor, and in fact our top doctor should be fired, because she’s of Chinese heritage and is therefore in league with the people who created the bioweapon of COVID? The guy who posted all that stuff while knowing that he’s a coach in a position of authority, with multiple underage kids who follow him on Facebook and will see this information as coming from a trusted adult in their lives? The guy who also knows it’s not just kids from his team who follow him on Facebook; a bunch of kids from teams across the country follow him too, including kids from my team, and it is not fucking easy for me to explain to my own kids that just because an adult they know and trust says these things doesn’t mean they’re true. Even though they’ve been taught to always listen to coaches because that’s what good kids do.

Oh, and one of the kids on my team who follows that coach on Facebook is a teenage girl whose parents immigrated to Canada from China shortly before she was born. This girl wants to study and pursue a career in the STEM fields, and she’s reading an adult she knows personally in a position of power say Canada should fire its top doctor for being Chinese.

Yeah, I’m going to need at least an apology from that guy before we just move on like nothing fucking happened.

[cynicalrainbows]

The Next Best Thing Chapter 9

Anne tells her the big news over lunch. 

Cathy is eating lukewarm school pasta; Anne has a Mary lunch.

(Anne is the only person Cathy knows who has three sorts of school lunches- what they call Jane lunch, Mary lunch and Fancy lunch. 

Usually- when things are normal-ish, when she’s just at home like normal and it’s Mary’s job to take her to school, she gets a Mary lunch, which means whatever sandwich Mary has made in a rush, in between feeding Baby Catherine and getting herself ready and checking Anne is wearing school uniform and not her Ninja turtles tshirt (although sometimes Mary forgets to check the last one). 

Mary lunches are mostly ok, except that they’re usually a bit squashed....although once Mary was SO tired from being up with Baby Catherine she forgot to put in a filling and Anne had to pretend to the other children on the lunch table that she’d just asked for bread and butter that day.

(They didn’t look like they believed her.)

The other end of the scale is a Fancy lunch, and there’s only two times Anne gets one of those: either after the Mary lunch has been especially bad (or when she gets secret lunch option number four- which is actually no lunch at all because Mary forgot to pick up bread, or picked up the bread but forgot the making-the-sandwich part or remembered the bread and the sandwich making part but forgot to put it in Anne’s bag) and their teacher has called Anne over to ask, in hushed tones, Is Everything Alright At Home?

The other time is after something else has slipped a bit (once when Mary was sick, Anne didn’t come to school for two days) and the ‘chat’ has turned into a phone call. 

And that’s when Anne gets a Fancy lunch.

Fancy lunches are never the same but always ten times nicer than whatever anyone else has for lunch that day, because no one actually makes them, Anne’s mum orders them from a special company who spend all their time just making fancy lunches that can fit into a lunchbox- tiny wraps with fancy fillings skewered on cocktail sticks and rolls of rice and seaweed in pretty patterns and little individual quiches. 

The only bad thing about them is that they never last for more than a few days and then lunch making becomes Mary’s job again and it can be a bit disappointing to suddenly get a squashed marmite sandwich instead of the fancy lunch-in-a-box you were expecting.

Jane lunches are sort of in the middle of the two, Cathy supposes. 

They’re never as fancy as the Fancy lunches (Jane doesn’t seem to shop at the places that sell quinoa and lemongrass) and they’re not exciting really, just sandwiches and fruit.

 Then again, they always always have things that Anne definitely likes in them, whereas there’s nearly always a bit of the Fancy lunch that she has to pick off and set aside because she doesn’t like it, like the truffles that didn’t look or taste at all like chocolate.

They’re never as pretty as the Fancy lunches either but Jane does things like cutting off the crusts and peeling the apple and cutting it into slices that Anne’s mum never seems to want to do when it’s her actually fixing the food.

(It makes the food taste nice.)

The best thing about Jane’s lunches is that she never gets cross if a bit of it doesn’t get eaten, apart from to ask if Anne wants something else next time. She never gets ‘I don’t know why I even bother paying for nice things for you’ angry like Anne’s dad did when he found out about the uneaten truffles-that-were-really-mushrooms.

And if she’s done any baking- and Jane bakes a LOT- there’s always a biscuit or a little piece of cake or a pastry twist wrapped up carefully in greaseproof paper, ready for Anne to split in half and share with Cathy in return for all the times that Cathy shared her own food on no-lunch days.

Cathy doesn’t have packed lunches now that she’s with Catalina but she has sometimes wondered what they’d be like and she figures they’d probably be closer to the Jane lunches than the Fancy lunches. 

Oddly enough, the thought does not make her feel all that disappointed.

Anne tells her the Big News right away, because she can’t keep secrets, and the big news is that Anne’s getting to have a sleepover for her birthday. 

Cathy asks when and Anne says that it’ll be on the Saturday coming because that’s when her birthday is going to be.

Cathy knows when Anne’s birthday is- she has it written down in the furry purple My Secret Diary that she got for Christmas, because there’s a section to write down things about your friends, and she has Anne written down first because she’s her best friend- and she feels a bit guilty, like maybe she should have remembered.

 Anne doesn’t seem to mind though.

 Anne says that when she asked her mum the night before what she was doing for her birthday this year, and could they go to Splash Zone again like last year, her mum had nodded and said YesMaybeAskDaddy (which is how she answers lots of things).....and then she’d sat up, and she’d put down her glossy magazine and checked something on her phone and her eyes had gone very wide.

So instead of SplashZone- because now there isn’t time to book it before the weekend, Anne’s getting a sleepover party. 

Part of the treat is the sleepover, according to Anne, and part of the treat is meant to be that she doesn’t have to share the sleepover with Kitty, even though Kitty lives at Anne’s house most of the time.

Anne says she doesn’t mind sharing her bedroom but she IS glad Kitty isn’t going to be at the sleepover. 

According to Anne, Kitty hasn’t been much fun at all since Uncle Edmund dropped her off and she won’t play anything that Anne wants to play anymore, even when Anne offers her usual chocolate button bribe, and it turns out it’s VERY hard to play even easy games like chase when it’s only you.

Actually, Anne isn’t sure if she should be cross about this or not because it’s not just that Kitty won’t play Anne’s games, she doesn’t seem to want to play anything at all: she just clings to Jane’s skirt, waiting for her to finish whatever she’s doing and sit down so that she can she can fold herself up small in Jane’s lap. 

She clings to a handful of Jane’s shirt with one hand and only raggedly old Pink Kitty with the other, like she’s afraid someone is going to take one or both of them away if she lets go, sucking her thumb and not saying a word.

And when she isn’t silent- which is honestly most of the time, according to Anne- she’s having huge screaming tantrums over stupid things like cleaning her teeth or putting on her pajamas. Cathy finds it hard to imagine Kitty- who was quiet as a mouse nearly all the time, even before Edmund- even raising her voice once let alone screaming but Anne assures her that it’s true. 

She says that it’s giving her a headache. 

Her mum and dad and Mary are officially Losing Patience, which is why Kitty is going to be with Jane for a bit.

Officially, it’s as part of Anne’s birthday treat, but Anne thinks they were planning it anyway because she heard Mary complaining to her mum, and then she heard her Mum talking on the phone to someone about being At The End of Her Tether, and she kept shaking her head and looking over at where Kitty was curled up in a little ball on the edge of the sofa, not even watching the tv (although Anne had specially foregone Rugrats for the boring baby program about the baggy pink cat because Kitty liked it). 

Or, Kitty used to like it. 

Now she doesn’t seem to like very much at all anymore.

Mary and Anne’s Mum and Dad don’t seem to mind Kitty being extra quiet but they do mind the tantrums- and the way Kitty has started waking up in the night crying and disturbing everybody when Some People Have To Work In The Morning Fergodsake, and the way the Reception teacher has started to call home because she’s ‘concerned’.

Jane calls round too when she hears that Anne’s dad has taken away the Barbie Kitty got for promising not to suck her thumb anymore, and says they all need to make allowances right now, whatever that means. 

She and Anne’s mum drink cappuccinos- because Anne’s mum has a special expensive new machine that makes them- and Jane talks about reassurance and sense of security and unconditional love, while Anne’s mum talks about discipline and consequences and legal custody.

 Eventually Anne’s mum tells Jane that she’s not a social worker anymore so she needs to stop acting like one, and that Kitty isn’t a baby any more and they need to stop coddling her, that maybe Edmund was right about some things.

And then Jane goes home.

So Kitty won’t be at the sleepover, Anne says. It’ll be just her and Cathy- and Anna. 

Cathy tries to smile and look pleased that Anna’s invited too- it’s not that she doesn’t like her, exactly, it’s just that for Anne’s first sleepover, she’d rather it was just them.

It’s a bit easier to be properly happy when Anne tells Anna because Anna looks excited but also a bit surprised too- as if she’s not expecting to be asked. That makes Cathy feel better. It reminds her that Anna really isn’t out to steal her best friend, which is something Catalina reminds her of whenever she seems to need it.

‘Really?’

‘Yeah, my mum said I could have two friends.’ Anne nibbles the crust of her sandwich (peanut butter) delicately, trying to make the edges of the bread straight.

‘I’ll ask Mutti when I get home- she’ll say yes, she’ll be happy I’m making friends-’ Anna beams. ‘I used to have sleepovers back home- back in Germany. With my old friends.’

‘Cool!’

Cathy takes another bite of soggy school lasagne and wonders why Anna always has to bring her old home into everything.

 It’s sort of interesting to hear but it also makes her wonder if there’s anything that Anna hasn’t done or seen before everyone else. 

She wants to ask what German sleepovers are like but then she doesn’t.

(Whatever they’re like, they’re probably a hundred times cooler than whatever English sleepovers.)

[fightmeyeats]

ACNH: Colonial Desires in the Context of Quarantine

Since finishing up my undergraduate studies in June, one of the major things I've been doing with my free time is playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons (please don't @ me but I've already logged something like 400 hours). As much fun as the game is, one of the things that's really stood out to me is how much AC:NH depends on and reifies colonial logics, and how important it is to unpack this in the context of the game's popularity and the ongoing pandemic.

One of the first ways I want to address colonialism in AC:NH this is through the way I was first introduced to it, namely through its connection to my thesis and what I refer to as the "terraforming imaginary". Before I started playing or had even decided to buy the game, I was working on my thesis "Constructing New Worlds: An Investigation of Climate Change and the Terraforming Imaginary" (which, shameless self plug but if you're interested you can check out my 10 minute video presentation for symposium at Johns Hopkins University here). During this time I was talking about my thesis pretty non-stop with anyone who would listen and as a result probably about half of my friends independently sent me this meme

[ID: meme from @animalcrossingmemes which shows two children; the one on the left is smiling and looking off into the distance with the label "daydreaming about terraforming" while the child on the right looks stressed and upset with the label "actually terraforming". Beneath this meme is text from @kaijuno which reads "I realize this is an animal crossing meme but as an astrophysicist I was really excited for a second that someone was finally seeing the light on how fricking difficult an a huge waste of time it would be to try to terraform Mars". Beneath this text is another meme with four hands gripping each other's wrists to make a circle. In the center is the initial animalcrossingmemes image and each arm is labeled, respectively, "Minecraft Players," "Sims Players," "Animal Crossing Players," and "Astrophysicists apparently"]

Although my thesis addresses terraforming in the context of space exploration/colonization, AC:NH's engagement with "terraforming" (alongside other aspects of colonial practices and desires) helps to expand on the stakes of this. The reason I put "terraforming" in scare-quotes is because…technically, there isn't any terraforming in AC:NH, given that terraforming is "the operation consisting of rendering other stellar bodies—mainly planets and eventually asteroids—appropriate for human life" (Frédéric Neyrat, 46). While I'm all down for an interpretation of the Animal Crossing world as a non-Earth planet and the villagers as aliens, the island is already suitable for human life and the use of "terraforming" in the game is generally more readily identifiable as geoconstructivism: players redesign and restructure their islands, shaping waterways and topography to create idealistic spaces (as opposed to making the island literally livable). Either way, it speaks to the terraforming imaginary—the underlying set of logics and desires conducive to the imagining and desiring of “terraforming”, ie the logics and desires of colonization. Even though AC:NH's terraforming isn't technically terraforming, it is an embodiment of the terraforming imaginary, centering desires for the "civilizing"/"cultivating" of a space into an orderly, colonized ideal. On even a very surface level it is useful to think about this through the island rating system: islands are ranked out of five stars, with deductions made for things such as having "too many" weeds or not "cleaning up" by leaving items lying around rather than placed with intention. 

Another, perhaps more obvious, way in which AC:NH embodies colonial logics is through the "Nook Miles Tickets". Players trade in Nook Miles (an achievement based currency) for tickets which they can take to the airport and use to visit other, uninhabited islands which they can destroy to extract all of the resources slash-and-burn style. Players also have an increased likelihood of catching rare insects, fish, and sea animals to display to their own island museum or sell. As Wilbur, a dodo pilot, explains about this process: "we run the 'finders keepers' protocol here. Lumber, fruit, fish, whatever? Yours if you can carry it", going on to emphasize the importance of not leaving anything behind as there will be no returning; they "burn the flight plans" after each flight.

Although the rampantly destructive extraction of resources is the most apparent embodiment of colonial logics, the centrality of the museum and the imperative to complete each wing by finding and identifying all of the bugs, fish/sea creatures, fossils, and artworks in the game is an equally significant connection to colonialism. Benedict Anderson argues in Imagined Communities that the museum, along with the census and the map, "shaped the way in which the colonial state imagined its dominion—the nature of the human beings it ruled, the geography of its domain, and the legitimacy of its ancestry" (164). The specifics Anderson goes into differ of course, because he's talking about actual colonial states while AC:NH has the fluidity of embodying the underpinning desires which colonialism as process requires to function, but what holds true is that these specific forms of producing, organizing, and displaying knowledge which produced "a totalizing classificatory grid, which could be applied with endless flexibility...to be able to say of anything that it was this, not that; it belonged here, not there" (Anderson 184). Essentially, in AC:NH part of a player's ownership of the island occurs through a player's ability to classify and collect artefacts for the museum. Furthermore, this imperative to collect and preserve fossils, art work, bugs, fish, and sea creatures is part of the way the player's island is positioned as a place of value. 

The museum also implicitly functions to reify positions of authority, legitimizing a kind of monopoly of knowledge. In AC:NH, this primarily means the positions of the museum curator (Blathers) and, to a degree, Tom Nook (who selected and invited Blathers) are secured as the authorities on knowledge. When Tom Nook tells the player that the island(s) are deserted, we must take this as truth...yet fishing both on the player's island and the Nook Miles islands can turn up trash items like old tires, tin cans, and boots. Colonial logics depend on a management of who counts as "people" and what counts as "inhabited" and the myth of empty lands; Tom Nook's instance that these islands are all deserted is haunted by these lingering traces of some other inhabitation prior to the game's start. 

Okay, so you might be asking what does this all mean and why should we care? Let's talk about both the game's popularity and the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic which contextualized its release (and continues to shape daily life). Animal Crossing: New Horizons has not only received overwhelmingly positive critical reception, but is one of the best selling games both for the Switch console and the Animal Crossing series. According to freelance journalist Imad Khan's New York Times article "Why Animal Crossing Is the Game for the Coronavirus Moment," the game's appeal centers in its function as an escape to an "island paradise where bags of money fall out of trees and a talking raccoon can approve you for a mortgage". Khan quotes Dr. Ramzan (a professor of game narrative at Glasgow Caledonian University) who refers to it as "the universe you’ve always wanted, but can’t get." Given the significantly decreased mobility and connection that has accompanied social distancing, as well as the increased stress and heightened inequality which have accompanied COVID-19, this probably isn’t particularly surprising. It makes sense that a cute, low-stress video game would be a valuable form of escapism.

Mobility is a particularly fraught discourse in this context: on the one hand, concerns surrounding containment/immobility are heightened in the context of neoliberalism and within colonial societies, which depend upon discourses of individualism and independence to demarcate the “freedom” which comes from capitalist economies. At the same time, the desire for things like connection/community, movement, and spatial autonomy/sovereignty are not inherently colonial, even as colonialist logics frequently position colonial/capitalist/neoliberal expansion as the solution. Animal Crossing is heavily situated within this entanglement, simultaneously offering a very real form of connection (and even protest) for many people while also implicitly speaking to latent beliefs that colonization is a legitimate form of mobility and escapism. To say that AC:NH is the universe we’ve always wanted but can’t get is to refuse to engage with the inherent contradictions of neoliberalism and reafirm the notion that colonial capitalist worlds are worth wanting; that the fantasy of individual wealth and success through destructive extraction and market freedom, when obtainable, is good.

None of this is to say that playing AC:NH is the same as colonization, because of course it isn't. However, the colonial undertones of the game reflect the pervasiveness of colonial logics and desires in our daily lives, subsequently further normalizing them. Journalist Kazuma Hashimoto, for example, emphasizes the importance of contextualizing AC:NH's colonial undertones within Japanese Colonialism in "Animal Crossing: New Horizons and Japanese Colonialism". As Hashimoto argues, "I am only asking that people familiarize themselves with Japanese colonialism and why something as innocuous as discovering a deserted island can be read as colonialism — especially within the context of a Japanese game".

Inattentiveness to the more subdued, invisibilized manifestations of violence facilitates their internalization and acceptance; educating ourselves and paying attention to and challenging places where we feel comfortable with these kinds of escapist fantasies is an important exercise in critical thinking which can help us to continue to refuse their real life manifestations. 

[theonyxpath]

Yes, that’s right, we actually do not have a Kickstarter running this week. Weird, huh?

Legendlore just wrapped up with a very strong (and unexpected but delightful) final 48 hours last week, and we have not yet launched the They Came From Beyond the Grave! KS.

So instead, let me tell you about the guy I illustrated for the cover shown above. In-universe (or Continuum), that’s Duke Rollo, the gonzo journalist/commentator of the TC: Aberrant setting.

But.

He’s also Justin Achilli, who originated the character and wrote both small Duke Rollo books – one for first edition Aberrant and now the book pictured for Trinity Continuum: Aberrant.

I originally pictured him as Justin appeared back then, piercings and all, and with a very gonzo attitude to life, and work, and especially after-hours playtime. The version above was drawn to still be the same character, but seasoned. More experienced, but still railing against the inequities of the TC: Aberrant world.

I bring this up because real-world Justin has amassed even more experience and knowledge since the WW days, and has explored game design in the electronic gaming sphere very successfully, and yet has never stopped applying what he has learned to TTRPGs, and specifically the World of Darkness and Vampire: The Masquerade.

His experience with party deduction games led to his working with us on The Prince’s Gambit card game, for example. And his online design theory posts through the years are rife with game design theory that could be applied to electronic games, or right back in TTRPGs.

And in fact, he himself, is also right back in TTRPGs with last week’s announcement that Justin is the new Creative Lead for the WoD 5th Edition efforts over at Paradox!

Congrats, Justin!

Now, I have a long history with Justin, going back to when he was developing the RAGE card game at WW. (A “dragon biting some clown in half”, anybody?) He was developer and I was art director for years on VtM Revised, we worked on the late, lamented, WoD MMO together, and he was the first developer for V20, and then helmed many V20 books for Onyx Path.

And yet, even I really don’t know what he’s planning for V5. The Covid situation here and in Sweden, where Paradox is based, has complicated matters, so we’re still looking forward to what’s going to happen next.

As they say, more news when we have it!

Let the Streets Run Red art by Sam Denmark

Surely You Have Something Kickstarter-y?

OK. Fair enough, I hear ya!

You want to know more about They Came From Beyond the Grave!, especially since that’s going to be the subject of our next Kickstarter.

Well, it is the second game in the They Came From…! game line, and this time, rather than being based in the world of Sci-Fi movies of the 50s, TCFBtGrave! is set in two time periods favored by horror movies of the 60s and 70s: the Victorian Era and the late 60s into the 70s.

In fact, the game supports either era, or both with players swapping back and forth between the two. Hammer Horror is of course a huge influence, along with Roger Corman horror films, and even the Dark Shadows TV series.

Like TCFBtSea!, TCFBtGrave! uses the Storypath System plus Quip cards that allow players to contribute appropriate (or far more often extremely inappropriate) comments and dialogue that is often hilarious, but also can give mechanical benefits to the character. With the cards, the player doesn’t need to be funny, just how they use the quip.

Similarly, there are cards for filmic situations appropriate to the genre we’re emulating, like “The Devil Himself!”, or “Missing Scene” which allows for a miraculous escape that players can note as having happened during that scene. It was amazing, just a shame the scene is missing, but at least we’re all OK.

Honestly, we should have one titled “Christopher Lee’s Voice”, but that might be too powerful for players.

Keep an eye out on our social media as we continue to tease the game, and check out the actual play sessions that are available on our Twitch channel.

Pirates of Pugmire art by Pat McEvoy

Updates On Previous Mentions:

As I mentioned last week, we were looking to hire an out-of-house HR representative as a contact person for anyone with concerns on an HR level with Onyx Path. We indeed did hire Georgina who can be contacted at hr.onyxpath@gmail.com.

Scion Companion art by Shen Fei

Sorry to say it, but the pandemic is still affecting everyone – writers, printers, shippers – so while we are seeing some folks come back to business as sorta-normal, many others still can’t do that. Sometimes that’s our creators, and other times it’s our manufacturers and shippers. I’m currently waiting for at least five books worth of PoD proofs to get to me for approval so we can start selling them.

So, please hang in with us as we maneuver through this continuing alteration in our normal business practices. There’s a lot of things changing all across the world, and our little hobby isn’t in a bubble – and even if it was, we’re still going to be affected like I mention above. Just know that we are doing what we can to get you the materials so you can enjoy our:

Many Worlds, One Path!

Blurbs!

Kickstarter!

Next Up On Kickstarter: They Came From Beyond the Grave!

And keep your eyes open for:

Onyx Path Media!

This week: the Terrifically Terrible Trio chat about the Onyx Path Virtual Gaming Convention, and online TTRPG gaming in general!

As always, this Friday’s Onyx Pathcast will be on Podbean or your favorite podcast venue! https://onyxpathcast.podbean.com/

This week on Twitch, expect to see

V5 – Chicago by Night

Behind the Screen – Scion

They Came from Beneath the Sea! – They Came from Devil’s Reef!

Changeling: The Dreaming – The Last Faerie Tale

Mage: The Awakening – Occultists Anonymous

Scarred Lands – Purge of the Serpentholds

Get watching for some fantastic insight into how to run these wonderful games and subscribe to us on Twitch, over at twitch.tv/theonyxpath

Come take a look at our YouTube channel, youtube.com/user/theonyxpath, where you can find a whole load of videos of actual plays, dissections of our games, and more, including:

#OnyxPathCon | How to Write for TTRPGs [Panel]: https://youtu.be/UKmJQEhInP8

#OnyxPathCon | Consent & Safety Mechanics [Panel]: https://youtu.be/LljJV-TRLWA

Legendlore – The Metal Scourge: https://youtu.be/IrhhKnf6dHg

#OnyxPathCon | The Art of Onyx Path [Panel]:https://youtu.be/2mG_BqXzkfE

#OnyxPathCon | What’s Up with Onyx Path #2 [Panel]:https://youtu.be/GjukejNcCcc

#OnyxPathCon | Create Your Best Character [Panel]:https://youtu.be/UZIBL87hu6U

#OnyxPathCon | Onyx Pathcast Live [Panel]:https://youtu.be/XxNvUPUtC1o

Subscribe to our channel and click the bell icon if you want to be notified whenever new news videos and uploads come online!

Did you miss Occultists Anonymous‘ last episodes of their excellent Mage: The Awakening chronicle? Here they are:

Episode 108: Car-V Heist While Songbird prepares for a dangerous summoning, Atratus and Wyrd hit the junkyards with an overly elaborate plan to make an overly elaborate gift. How very Mage of them… https://youtu.be/wSy3c74jkfM

Episode 109: Crown of Blood Wyrd and Atratus enjoy the joy of a well-made gift and the good vibes that comes with that. Songbird joins together with Hadramiel to summon an Angel of Death to anoint a Vampire Prince in power. https://youtu.be/QxB6Ml6uStY

The Botch Pit have released an excellent overview of Mage: The Awakening right here. Do give them a like and a subscribe: https://youtu.be/D-0O1Nun6NA

Systematic Understanding of Everything is a new Exalted Explainer Podcast by Exalted Dev Monica Speca and Exalted Writer Chazz Kellner that is breaking down Creation in 45 minute chunks in preparation for Exalted Essence.

Their most recent episode in on Creation and its history – https://anchor.fm/exaltcast/episodes/Trackless-Region-Navigation—What-is-Creation-eg2g9d

Get past episodes at http://www.exaltcast.com/

Please check these out and let us know if you find or produce any actual plays of our games! We’d love to feature you!

Electronic Gaming!

As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is awesome! (Seriously, you need to roll 100 dice for Exalted? This app has you covered.)

On Amazon and Barnes & Noble!

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue from which you bought it. Reviews really, really help us get folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these latest fiction books:

Our Sales Partners!

We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire and Monarchies of Mau out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there! https://studio2publishing.com/search?q=pugmire

We’ve added Prince’s Gambit to our Studio2 catalog: https://studio2publishing.com/products/prince-s-gambit-card-game

Now, we’ve added Changeling: The Lost Second Edition products to Studio2‘s store! See them here: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/all-products/changeling-the-lost

Scion 2e books and other products are available now at Studio2: https://studio2publishing.com/blogs/new-releases/scion-second-edition-book-one-origin-now-available-at-your-local-retailer-or-online

Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

And you can order Pugmire, Monarchies of Mau, Cavaliers of Mars, and Changeling: The Lost 2e at the same link! And now Scion Origin and Scion Hero and Trinity Continuum Core and Trinity Continuum: Aeon are available to order!

As always, you can find Onyx Path’s titles at DriveThruRPG.com!

On Sale This Week!

This Wednesday, to celebrate the arrival of Justin Achilli, we present V5 Chicago By Night electronic wallpaper and V20 Lore of the Clans Storyteller’s Screen PDF files, both on DTRPG!

Conventions!

Though dates for physical conventions are subject to change due to the current COVID-19 outbreak, here’s what’s left of our current list of upcoming conventions (and really, we’re just waiting for this last one to be cancelled even though it’s Nov/Dec). Instead, keep an eye out here for more virtual conventions we’re going to be involved with:

PAX Unplugged: https://unplugged.paxsite.com/

And now, the new project status updates!

Development Status from Eddy Webb! (Projects in bold have changed status since last week.):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep.)

Exalted Essay Collection (Exalted)

Adversaries of the Righteous (Exalted 3rd Edition)

The Devoted Companion (Deviant: The Renegades)

Saints and Monsters (Scion 2nd Edition)

Trinity Continuum: Anima

M20 Technocracy Operative’s Dossier (Mage: The Ascension 20th Anniversary)

Squeaks In The Deep (Realms of Pugmire)

Redlines

Dragon-Blooded Novella #2 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Hundred Devil’s Night Parade (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Novas Worldwide (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Exalted Essence Edition (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Wild Hunt (Scion 2nd Edition)

CtL 2e Novella Collection: Hollow Courts (Changeling: The Lost 2e)

Second Draft

Many-Faced Strangers – Lunars Companion (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Mission Statements (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Contagion Chronicle Ready-Made Characters (Chronicles of Darkness)

Trinity Continuum: Adventure! core (Trinity Continuum: Adventure!)

Dead Man’s Rust (Scarred Lands)

The Clades Companion (Deviant: The Renegades)

V5 Forbidden Religions (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

M20 Rich Bastard’s Guide To Magick (Mage: The Ascension 20th Anniversary)

V5 Children of the Blood (was The Faithful Undead) (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Development

TC: Aberrant Reference Screen (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Across the Eight Directions (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Contagion Chronicle: Global Outbreaks (Chronicles of Darkness)

Exigents (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Assassins (Trinity Continuum Core)

V5 Trails of Ash and Bone (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Kith and Kin (Changeling: The Lost 2e)

Manuscript Approval

Crucible of Legends (Exalted 3rd Edition)

M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Under Alien Skies (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

N!ternational Wrestling Entertainment (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Post-Approval Development

Editing

Lunars Novella (Rosenberg) (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition core rulebook (Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition)

Player’s Guide to the Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)

Contagion Chronicle Jumpstart (Chronicles of Darkness)

TC: Aberrant Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Trinity Continuum Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum)

Masks of the Mythos (Scion 2nd Edition)

LARP Rules (Scion 2nd Edition)

Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

The Book of Lasting Death (Mummy: The Curse 2e)

They Came From Beyond the Grave! (They Came From!)

Scion: Dragon (Scion 2nd Edition)

Scion: Demigod (Scion 2nd Edition)

Dearly Bleak – Novella (Deviant: The Renegades)

Post-Editing Development

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

W20 Shattered Dreams Gift Cards (Werewolf: The Apocalypse 20th)

Cults of the Blood Gods (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Hunter: The Vigil 2e core (Hunter: The Vigil 2nd Edition)

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant core (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)

Monsters of the Deep (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Legendlore core book (Legendlore)

Pirates of Pugmire KS-Added Adventure (Realms of Pugmire)

Tales of Aquatic Terror (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Terra Firma (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

One Foot in the Grave Jumpstart (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2e)

Indexing

Art Direction from Mike Chaney!

In Art Direction

Tales of Aquatic Terror – Handed off to Meredith to AD.

WoD Ghost Hunters (KS) – KS assets wrapped up.

Aberrant – AD’d. Checking with Gunship.

Hunter: The Vigil 2e

Mummy 2

Deviant

Legendlore – KS running.

Technocracy Reloaded (KS)

Cults of the Blood God – Rolling along.

Scion: Dragon (KS) – Waiting on art notes.

Masks of the Mythos (KS) – Getting the cover art going.

Scion: Demigod (KS) – Art rolling. KS assets AD’d.

They Came From Beyond the Grave! (KS) – Prepping KS assets.

TC: Adventure! (KS) – Shen Fei cover art finished by end of the month.

Geist: One Foot In the Grave – AD’d.

In Layout

Yugman’s Guide to Ghelspad

Vigil Watch

TC Aeon Terra Firma

V5 Let the Streets Run Red – continued working it.

Pugmire Adventure – small project, knocking the layout together.

Scion Titanomachy

Proofing

Trinity Aeon Jumpstart – Errata gathering.

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate – Page XXs.

Contagion Chronicle – Backer PDF out to backers, closing errata.

Cavaliers of Mars: City of the Towered Tombs

Magic Item Decks (Scarred Lands)

Yugman’s Guide Support Decks (Scarred Lands)

Dark Eras 2 Screen and booklet

Scion Companion – Inputting changes from devs.

At Press

TCFBTS Heroic Land Dwellers – PoD files uploaded.

TCFBTS Screen and Booklet – Files at press.

They Came from Beneath the Sea! – Press proofs signed off on, PoD files uploaded.

Creature Collection 5e – PoD proof ordered. Traditional files sent to printer.

Pirates of Pugmire – Files at press. PoD proofs ordered.

Pirates of Pugmire Screen – Files at press.

Pugmire Buried Bones – PoD proof ordered.

Changeling: The Lost 2nd Edition Dark Eras Compilation – Uploading PoD file.

Today’s Reason to Celebrate!

I’d really like to get back to needing to pull wacky things that happened on this date, but we need to celebrate the life of a towering giant in his field. Ennio Morricone, one of the greatest film composers, has left this earth he brought so much magic and passion and joy to. The Untouchables. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. The Mission. Once Upon A Time In the West. His film scores were the background music I played while illustrating all the way back to high school, and as late as two weeks ago I asked Alexa to “Play Ennio Morriconi music” as I wrote that week’s MMN blog. Not only was he a genius in composing instrumental scores, but he was willing to incorporate single instruments, or non-instruments, or inserted choral sections, or even compose an entire theme using fart sounds. Maybe not to everyone’s tastes, that last example, but my point is, he stretched what could be done with musical scores with a deft hand and a genius’s ear. His like will not be heard again.

[colde0channel]

[ENG] 180530 COLDE - DAZED INTERVIEW

Q. I was hesitant right before I came to see you. I wasn’t sure what questions to ask. I assumed ‘music’ was the only clue that explained your name ‘Colde’. 

Colde: That’s absolutely right. I never had the intention of creating a visual stereotype of the work I’ve been doing so far. I’ve rejected using other elements besides music.  It’s the same reason why I wear a hat/cap when I sing. That’s why I’m reluctant to be exposed in the media and I hardly do interviews very often. I’ve been doing that for the past two years, I’m now working as a solo artist as of this year. I thought this time, I’d have to brand myself differently. This is my first magazine interview with Dazed.  (t/n: He feels more confident performing on stage. He explained in previous interviews that he’s in fact a ‘timid’ person. This interview took place in 2018. Colde officially debuted with 0channel as ‘offonoff’ in 2016.)

Q. That sounds great. So let’s start this with, what’s the meaning behind the name ‘Colde’ ?

Colde: There are certain words that I love, and one of them is ‘Cold’ . When I visualised it as an image, I thought it fit well with my voice and appearance. I’m naturally not a bright person but the name ‘Cold’ goes well with a calm feeling. There are lots of meaningless typography (names) so that’s why I put an ‘e’ at the end of ‘Cold’. (Cold + e= Colde) (t/n: He mentioned on Red & Yella, that he got the name using a word generator. Although his name is Colde and with a voice that sounds ‘cold’ too, he wishes to bring warmth with his music.)

Q. What type of person is ‘Colde’ aka ‘Kim Heesoo’ like in real life? Are you as quiet and calm as when you sing?

Colde: I like to think positively, and I’m usually quiet. However once you get to know me, I like to joke around. I tend to discuss deeply about what I love;  like collecting vintage items, old books and I love taking film photos that I can directly connect to music. Which I then keep in a stack of archives. Also riding an old car. I write songs with that kind of inspiration. I know a lot of people have been curious. (t/n: In fact he has a tattoo of an ‘old car’ on his right arm. Also the film photos he took in Texas (2019) were used for his LOVE PART 01 EP cover)

Q. What other things do you do, when you’re not doing music?

Colde: Talking (to friends)? Or watching a movie. I enjoy drinking tea peacefully while reading books. I like going to clubs but only when it’s for work, like planning a performance or parties. (laughs)

Q. Don’t you sometimes dream of escaping in a fit of anger?

Colde: Hmmmm, well I would take a walk on the Han River Bridge and just sing. Then sing loudly until I can’t hear my voice and the sound of cars.

Q. When you know you have enough control of yourself, it’s not as easy as it looks. So far, do you think you’ve been able to compete only with music rather than revealing yourself (into the public). 

Colde: When me and 0channel moved together as a team, we solely focused on ‘offonoff’ as opposed to individuality. Our concept was not to let anyone know about us, like Margiela (brand). It was difficult to continue with that kind of concept as a crew (team). But with that, it’s constructed well in its own way. I would express it as ‘branding’.

(t/n: It’s almost saying as if ‘offonoff’ is a brand of its own. Martin Margiela who owns the brand, remains to be a private person.  “Constantly challenging people’s expectations, the label persistently presents the idea of anonymity within their collections, and often sends models down the catwalk with their faces concealed so the concentration is on the clothes.” source: vogue  )

Q. I agree. Nowadays, we do the branding ourselves. Offonoff and Colde’s music reminds me of the phrase you either ‘like it’ or you ‘crave for more’ . Without a doubt, both of you have different opinions. When you work on an album, how much do you or both express your own preference(s)?

Colde: For my solo music, they’re all centered around me so everything is decided by my opinion.  Whereas in comparison to teamwork (offonoff), our opinions are half and half. We combine both of our ideas, well enough to make it work. That’s why it takes longer to work on the album. Which is the same for other things besides music. From a month before the album was released, we gathered every week to have visual meetings. Discussing ideas on how we would like the music video(s) to turn out. So I think we have good teamwork and synergy based on that.  

Q. I heard that your first solo single ‘Your Dog Loves You’, from song writing to music video and album promotion was done without any label.

Colde: When we were still promoting as ‘offonoff’, our previous label (HIGHGRND) positively reflected the opinions of artists. So there weren't any conflicting issues. When I wrote this song (YDLY), I told myself “I’ll pursue this, there’s no one stopping me.”  I started working on the album (YDLY) thinking about my dog; Samna. Even though we’ve been apart for a while, I still feel a sense of happiness. I realised that love is truly incredible. I wanted to express the meaning of my love and gratitude (for her), so that’s why I wrote about Samna as my first single. ‘Your Dog Loves You’ is a song that conveys my honest self and emotions with sincerity. Thus recording (the song) is important when doing music.

Q. What type of branding will be added to this song? 

Colde: For this song, I think my real name ‘Kim Heesoo’ best represents me than Colde. To Samna, I live as ‘Kim Heesoo’ (laughs). We will be selling T-shirts with the release of this album. Some of the proceeds (from selling the shirts) will be donated to ‘CARE’, an animal shelter organisation. They also helped with the music video shoot. 

Q. Is Wavy a type of movement?

Colde: That is correct. It's not just a concept or a crew but it's going to turn into a ‘brand’. Essentially it will then form as an ‘official label’. I'm still thinking about how I'm going to make it interesting, once it's unveiled. I can't tell you any more details, please keep an eye out . (laughs)

Q. It seems that promoting the song strategically is as important as good music.

Colde: I guess you could say that. When me and 0channel made our first song (Mood. mixtape [2015]) as ‘offonoff’, we tried to complete it with a high quality visual. With that, we started a website for it. The goal was to make the site accessible for everyone to access, and I paid attention to the small details. (offonoffart.tumblr.com) Which I think played a part of the promotion. It’s the same process for my solo music. I’m not only good at making music, but I should get the most out of using webzine, youtube channel and SNS websites (instagram etc). I also like to observe and explore how people use these websites.

Q. Are there any public figures (eg. actors, writers, artists) or anything that you are interested in nowadays?

Colde: Vintage shopping. In my spare time, I would make a trip looking for only vintage items.

Q. In your opinion, is nostalgia for old (things) any special?

Colde: Without them (old things) what would be left after the person passes away? Money? I don’t think so. If I leave something that is special (to me) I’d regard it as if it’s my child. I believe that whoever is influenced by me, will be greatly inspired. If you have a distinctive preference, the meaning of life will look even more different. Then I’ll be able to explain that clearly to someone, before I die. 

Q. What’s the latest thing you’ve purchased?

Colde: Yesterday I bought a candlestick decorated with crystals on it. There’s a favourite shop that I like, whenever a new item comes in the owner would always contact me first. I also bought postcards and old magazines.

Q. Does that kind of preference also similar with fashion?

Colde: I love anything vintage in Japan and the UK. When I talk to my friends, ‘vintage’ is always the subject of the conversation. (t/n: He visited both countries before.)

Q. It is evident that cool musicians like you dress well. I think that’s why we’re able to film Eli’den Men with you today. 

Colde: I’ve been offered a lot of fashion photoshoots and I’ve disappointed many, even though it’s a great opportunity. I had to decline them. I’d rather make a proposal for myself first, planning to do projects which connect music and fashion. Having the chance to work on Eli’den Men, I was so excited that I knew it would be fun. Even wearing eleven outfits was a challenge for me. 

Q. How do you feel after filming it?

Colde: I feel great because I got to wear many pretty clothes. (laughs)

Q. What is the relationship between fashion and music for you? 

Colde: I think my own criteria of fashion determines whether I'm an artist or not. Anyone can identify if an artist’s identity is connected to fashion. It doesn’t necessarily mean an artist has to dress well. I don’t think I can look my best, without that connection between work and clothing. It’s very important to show your personality through fashion. For example, when performing as offonoff’s Colde, I would wear my cap pretty low. Because that’s the character I set up for myself. I’m the type of person who doesn’t want to make eye contact with people, who’s also timid, passive and a reserved person. But in reality I’m gloomy and an introvert.  After becoming a solo artist it’s getting better, now that I’ve started to open myself up to the world.  Hence why I decided to appear on the show ‘BREAKERS’. The process of opening myself is revealed through fashion.

Q. I can feel the sincerity from your honesty. From now onwards I have high hopes of what’s going to happen next (for his next music release). 

Colde: For my next second single; the keyword is  ‘Fashion’. (Colde - WAVE [EP]) These days, I’ve been so immersed in my work. I’ve been planning this (album) since last year. It’s going to be a lot of fun. I’m planning to get a head start on this around June to July.

Q. So will we meet again next month?

Colde: I’d love that (smiles). I think it’s more meaningful if it’s with DAZED. Please look forward to my new music and upcoming projects.

✧ original source here

Translated by @colde0channel.                                                                          Please credit when reposting. Thank you!