#I’m not sorry about this

[thebluestbluewords]

I’m still thinking about the machete

For reference, this is a machete. (Pic taken from the Woodland Tools Heavy Duty Machete listing). As someone who used to sell knives as my Actual Job, a machete is pretty big! It’s not impossible to hide, but it’s big. It could probably fit in a thigh holster if you’re tall, which Jay…..isn’t, or in a back holster if you’re average height. So the machete is probably in a back holster of some sort, likely worn under his vest. They were usually sold with a holster/case of some sort, often with a space to thread it on a belt, which would work if he doesn’t care about concealing it.

This is an axe. (Photo taken from an amazon listing for throwing axes. We’re assuming it’s meant as a weapon here). It’s about as long as the machete, but weighted pretty differently. When I sold knives, axes often came in a plastic clamshell, while most of the machetes we sold came in a decently nice holster. Not that you can’t make or buy an axe holster, it’s just not something I saw as often. Typically, folks aren’t carrying around an axe for bushwhacking the way you might carry a machete. They’re not necessarily un-portable, but it’s a little less easy to whip out a concealed axe.

As a third reference, I’ve taken the liberty of copying this photo of “life size Jay Descendants cardboard stand-up” and marking where I think he could fit a concealed weapon. Not necessarily a machete/axe sized weapon, but a knife or bug spray can of Decent Size. Thinking palm sized or bigger.

We’ve got:

Two obvious vest pockets. Probably pretty small, but could fit a folding knife or a small bug spray.

Vest collar. The big fold feels like a prime location for a hidden pocket. He could fit a large knife in here, or maybe a Nintendo DS.

Hat. An obvious choice for the bug spray can. Keep those bugs away and any other secret stolen objects safe. We know he’s put things in here before because we literally see him doing it in the first movie.

a quick honorable mention for my back holster idea. I think this has the highest axe/machete potential. I think he could do it.

two standard pants pockets. We don’t know the size of the second one (covered by his vest….waist….thing) but knowing boy’s pants, they’re probably pretty big. He might be able to fix a machete in there. If he’s got a smaller axe (maybe a throwing axe?) he could definitely fit that in a standard pants pocket.

Thigh pockets? Access to a secret thigh holster where he can fit more knives? This seems like a good, likely option for bigger knives. Maybe not a full sized standard machete, because Jay is truly Not That Tall, but like, a big two handed knife? Sure.

Knee??? Pockets???? I understand that these zippers are probably there to indicate that he can zip his pants off into shorts, but in my heart he’s got little tiny pockets at his knees. These are too small to fit a machete. These are only large enough to fit isle snacks, which are small and sad because the children are starving.

okay, I know I said I’m done with the knee pocket thing, but why is there a little piece of knee armor on the right side? I can only assume it’s there to disguise a hidden pocket for thievery.

Boots. Shove some knives in the sides of those boots like we shoved our phones into our ugg boots back in 2010. Jay’s got some pretty chunky boots here, he could fit at least one knife in each, maybe two if he packs them right.

This has been hidden weapon time with blue! I still think a machete is WAY too big to hide anywhere but a back holster, but I support all of Jay’s hidden weapons and I’m mentally adding an axe to his pants in every scene now.

[aarcanechaoss]

“William Vangeance is a thigh man.”

- Aarcane

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

I saw someone say he’d be a boobs guy and I agree BUT THIGHS

He the kind of man to place his hand on your thigh whenever he possibly could - and yeah I’m sure sometimes the eyes wander to the tata’s - but the thighs hold access to a real special place 👀

He gives neck kisses too

Don’t fight me I just know this

[theacheronsystem]

Captain Ahab when a whale dies

undersea animals when a whale dies

[catlaila]

justice for kabru. they put my man in the wrong genre. bro was meant to be playing psychological games with light yagami and instead he’s playing yaoi mind tennis with a blonde himbo

[deityofhearts]

consider sending me $10 before adding an unnecessary comment on my post

[nymphoutofwater]

And why? Cultural norms? Personal schedule? “Cause I’m always late to everything”?

Bonus points: Region and/or ethnicity?

[artsymeeshee]

Don’t know why I wanted to draw this dumb, silly idea but here we are lol

[len-yx]

Out of context spoilers

[littlemizzlinguistics]

Studying linguistics is actually so wonderful because when you explain youth slang to older professors, instead of complaining about how "your generation can't speak right/ you're butchering the language" they light up and go “really? That’s so wonderful! What an innovative construction! Isn't language wonderful?"

[must-be-mr-boggins]

Taking a 5-second break from the Bagginshield angst to bring you this meme I created after an all-nighter, enjoy.

[kuno-chan]

Some of us really need to be doing “Finish That Fanfic We Haven’t Updated in a Year November” 💀

[anxiouslittlecarrot]

I want everybody who’s calling Ken a Trophy Husband to know that he’s actually a Trophy Boyfriend, because when Ruth Handler invented Ken in the 1960s, she was adamant that he would never marry her and instead be her “handsome steady”, so that Barbie remained a figure of independence for the little girls and was never put in the position of housewife.

Her house is hers. She bought it and furnished it with money she made in her own job. In STEM, in politics, in healthcare, in fashion, in academy, in customer service. Her credit card is in her name (women in the US couldn’t have their own regardless of marital status until 1974). And it’s all pink and fashionable because femininity and badassness aren’t mutually exclusive. No matter who you are, you can be anything.

That’s why Barbie’s slogan is “you can be anything”. Teaching these ideals to little girls is why Barbie was created. Empowering women and empowering femininity is the original meaning of the Barbie doll. It’s not that you have to be all this to be a woman, but if you are all or some of this, you too are awesome.

And somehow pop culture deliberately changed that narrative. Sexualised, bimbofied, and villainised her, when she actually isn’t responsible for the impossible beauty standards — people are, she’s just a stylised, not-to-scale toy like most others.

Men are frothing because he’s just Ken and I guess they were expecting her to be just Barbie, but that’s exactly what Ken is. Canonically. A badass woman’s himbo boyfriend.

This movie has the potential to radically change the way we collectively see Barbie into what Ruth Handler originally intended, I’m so very excited

[pangur-and-grim]

every time I say “starting nooooow I won’t have any major expenses” something HAPPENS! there’s raw sewage backing up from my drains, and apparently the plumbers will need to break the floor and the wall to get to the pipes and fix it.

if the cat stuff hadn’t wiped out my bank account, this would be annoying but manageable. as it is…..I’m going to try to get everything up in the store for Friday.

[chloesimaginationthings]

William Afton into the FNAF-verse

[irlplasticlamb]

kazia parkerowska aka spider star is an 18 years old polish doomer art student who got bitten by a radioactive spider and then convinced (khe khe forced) into a superhero role by her kooky hippie auntie majka. woohoo. nothing better than to save the world when you don’t give an absolute shit!

prints + merch + commission info

[eskildit]

In a better kinder world. Gideon nav would have been at the club.