#I’m not gonna tag anyone since idk who’s active or if anyone wants to be tagged aldjls

[babyboywilson]

dean thinks cas likes him… he’s pretty sure… he thinks so anyway…. but he wasn’t going to be the one to make a move on a freakin’ angel. he’d let cas make the first move if that was something cas wanted. but days turned into weeks and months and then years with no attempts from cas to pursue dean. so dean buried his feelings. it was probably just his own unrequited desires reflecting back at him. he could live with pining and yearning.

it wasn’t until late one night, the two of them researching in the bunker library together with glasses of scotch next to each of their hands, that cas said something.

cas looked up at dean, darted his gaze down to the tomb in front of him, and looked back up at dean again. the flickering movement made dean glance up, and he locked eyes with cas; raising an eyebrow to silently ask cas what was up.

“we should get married,” cas said.

dean grinned.

yes. cas definitely liked him.

[cattocavo]

So I’ve been tagged in six sentence sunday!

I’ve never done these before and I’m not very active on here so i wouldnt know who to tag in response (although if any of you are fine with being tagged, please write to me! Id love to hear what everyone’s doing, and make some new friends!!

Since I last posted on tumblr I’ve finished all the inktober drawings I planned to draw. They’re all posted on my instagram, but I’m severely behind on posting here😅 tumblr is great but I cannot for the life of me shake off the awkwardness that comes with posting on another media that isn’t my preferred one. But if anyone who doesnt have instagram wants to see the rest just lmk and I’ll post them!

Other than inktober I haven’t really done anything.. i wanted to draw something for valentines, and got an idea a day before which is obviously WAY too little time to finish anything. And well, then valentines day passed and I no longer had a deadline.. so I didn’t finish it. I cannot for the life of me finish anything without a deadline. (Literally realized like 4 days ago that ive basically never finished a high-effort illustration without a deadline or someone relying on me😵‍💫 which kinda sucks ngl)

But since six sentence sundays are for wips, I guess I can show it to y’all what i drew for valentines!

So heres the concept (which is almost better than the finished result will be. I didn’t manage sultry Simon’s facial expression very well in the actual drawing😭 he just looks annoyed instead of ‘sexy’)

Aaannnd this is a wip of the actual drawing:

I really might end up redoing sultry Simon’s face, cuz it just isn’t working. I wanted the “expectation” side to like be the baz vision equivalent of some sexy male models slicked in oil and faces all squinty and lip-bitey. I didn’t want there to be a trace of an actual person, only the vision of “hot” so an annoyed simon with a bow will not do :/

Sidenote about simons shirt: eat the rich more like swallow the rich amirite?

I have this dumbass obsession with putting simon in ugly T shirts where theres printed the most ridiculous quotes on. I have a whole pinterest board on it. I tastefully called it “simons questionable taste in fashion”

(It’s all dumbass crop tops and tiny shirts with big chunky shoes. Idk I just love that on him)

But uhh I think that’s all for now! Thank you for tagging me @thewholelemon and @j-nipper-95 for tagging me a lot of previous times where i didn’t do anything bc i was shy😅

See you all next time!

Also idk if people put tags on SSS but I’m just gonna do that bc its what I’m used to

[maul-of-shame]

it will never get into my head why people are harassing each other like that. i mean, you do not do any harm? you just happily post things that you enjoy and like. i personally do not ship elrond and galadriel, but that does not mean i hate everyone who does or i send anonymous hate towards them. those crazy shippers who think their OTP is canon and THE TRUTH should sit down and shut up, really. it is all but fun. there are no hidden hints, and it is not canon and galadriel will (sadly for the elrondriel shippers) come together with celeborn, they will have a kid etc etc. sauron and galadriel will also never, ever be a thing. yet the haladriels are the worst out there... defending this ship like nothing is sickening. they should just leave others be. their ship is not canon, so why shoot against others. i hope what i want to say comes trough sorry, english is not my native language, but the core message is: spread love, not hate! and whatever makes you happy in this fandom is valid. sending hate is never cool!!

Absolutely, I completely get what you're saying, and don’t worry—your message comes through loud and clear! And honestly? You’re so right!!

The fact that people are harassing others over fictional ships will never make sense to me either. We are all here because we enjoy a story, because we love these characters, because we find joy in creating and sharing things that inspire us. Why would anyone waste their time turning that into something ugly?

And I really appreciate you saying that even though you don’t personally ship Elrond and Galadriel, you still don’t see a reason to send hate over it. That’s how fandom should be—people respecting each other’s preferences, even if they don’t share them. That’s the bare minimum of decency. It’s fine to not like a ship, it’s fine to not engage with it, but actively attacking people just because they enjoy something different? That’s where it crosses the line.

Now, as for Celeborn—yeah, I’ll be real, I’m not a huge fan of him in this adaptation. In the broader Tolkien canon, idk, but the way Rings of Power has framed things? They’ve left a lot of space open for interpretation, and honestly? If they do bring him back, I’m still gonna ship Elrondriel. And guess what? That’s fine. People can ship whatever they want regardless of canon—it's called transformative fandom, and it’s been a thing since forever.

But the thing is, even if I don’t particularly care for Celeborn and Galadriel’s dynamic, you know what I’m not doing? Harassing Celeborn/Galadriel shippers. Going into their tags. Sending them anonymous hate. Making vague posts about how they’re ruining the fandom. Because I have basic human decency. I don’t need to tear others down just to enjoy my own thing.

And honestly, the Haladriel discourse is exhausting. Like, I get that people are passionate about their ships, but the level of aggression, the entitlement, the genuine harassment that comes from some of them? It’s ridiculous. There’s a difference between “I like this ship and want to explore it in fan works” and actively harassing people who don’t agree with you, twisting canon to fit your narrative, and attacking actors, writers, and fans alike just because they don’t validate your headcanons.

And honestly, the “it’s not canon so why shoot at others” point? Exactly. The hypocrisy is so blatant. Haladriel is not canon. It never will be; in my opinion.

You know how I know that? Because Sauron is literally the embodiment of deception, corruption, and destruction. This man is canonically responsible for so much suffering in Middle-earth. His entire character is built around manipulation. Why on earth would Galadriel, one of the most powerful and wise elves to ever live, willingly fall for him? Even if she was drawn to him before the reveal, the second she knew who he was, she wanted nothing to do with him. So why does this ship demand that everyone bend over backward to validate it?

If you wanna ship it, go ahead, just do not harass other people.

At the end of the day, it all comes down to what you said: spread love, not hate. It’s fine to enjoy what makes you happy in this fandom. It’s fine to have different preferences. But sending hate? Trying to silence people? That’s never okay. And it’s especially frustrating when the people doing it are the same ones who constantly cry about being the victims.

So yeah. Keep enjoying what you love. Keep creating, sharing, and uplifting others. The people who actually matter—the ones who truly love this fandom and want to make it a welcoming space—are here, and they’re the ones who deserve support.❤️

[ravenatural]

15 Questions tag game

The rules are: Answer the 15 questions and tag 15 of your mutuals.

Tagged by @echoghost1 , ty Echo!! :D

1. Are you named after anyone? 

Ohh okay so this one is kinda fun because I technically am on four counts! My legal first and middle names both came from two different people ( one a famous author, the other my great great great ( great? I think it’s 4 ) aunt. The other two counts come from chosen names! while I’m not positive how much raven counts ( chosen at 13 because of raven teen titans haha ), Alva is another name I chose for myself that came from an ancestor on my moms side

2. When was the last time you cried? 

Last week? I think? Shit’s been kinda stressful all of a sudden

3. Do you have kids?

I babysat a couple of kids for a few months when I was like 18-ish and worked a job that had a daycare room, and I absolutely adored them to the point my mom started referring to them as my kids, but I am neither a legal guardian nor still in contact since the place went out of business so I’m gonna have to answer no to that one

4. What sports do you play/have played? 

Ohh man okay i don’t think I’ve done any sports since I was like. 10 years old, max. I briefly did soccer, and then basic ballet and tap lessons; I had a couple group recitals, but never advanced past flats, and honestly did not retain even muscle memory on anything

5. Do you use sarcasm?

I can’t because I’m the kind of awkward that struggles with tone inflection and quick wit so when I try people always think I’m serious 😔 

6. What's the first thing you notice about people? 

Something that can be complimented, generally.

Like, one of the things I do as someone with a customer facing job, is actively look for things to complement people on, for a multitude of reasons. It’s def not some kind of a requirement for my position, but more just that I like to break up the basic check-out process a little by finding something that I can genuinely appreciate ( which, the more I’ve done this the wider an appreciation of people’s personal style preferences I’ve had in general ) and communicating to them I like it, which never fails to brighten up an interaction.

It’s honestly really great too, because people often like to share the story behind the things I compliment, and I love to hear those stories, so it’s a good balance I think!

7. What's your eye color? 

I’ve always been told they’re brown but I’m like 98% certain they’re actually hazel? But the definitions of hazel I see are very, well, hazy tbh, and I’m afraid to commit to being 100% certain lmao

8. Scary movies or Happy endings? 

I like both BUT the happy endings I’d really like to have a lot of toil and angst and maybe a lil tragedy first—I want that happy ending to have blood stains that are over time bleached away by sunlight, but forever imprinted onto the fabric

9. Any talents? 

Idk if I’d describe myself as talented in any manner, but that’s mostly because I prefer to think in terms of skill-set over natural talent

That said, I have never formally—or informally really, for that matter—studied gemstones, but I can recognize and name a decent number of them on sight relatively easily, and have ID’d multiple pieces of tanzanite jewelry first try ( something where every individual, all unrelated, who was wearing said jewelry have said I’m the first person to not only think it was something other than sapphire, but to also know instantly. All I can really offer as to how I know is “its just the way it is” because ig the color and shine differences aren’t as easily noticeable to everyone else? ). It’s a side effect of having a detail focused mind that I’m honestly really proud of

10. Where were you born? 

Nice try sucker you’re not getting the answer to my online account security question THAT easily

11. What are your hobbies? 

Drawing

opening new tabs from my YouTube recommendations side bar for every song title that looks interesting and seeing how much new music I can find in one sitting before I get bored

finding hyper specific and sometimes rare things people I know haven’t been able to find and then buying it for them

googling the fuck out of some random ass thing that just came up in conversation until I have a bunch of new fun facts on the subject

sewing

and more!

12. Do you have any pets? 

LOTS

context: my family runs a small hobby farm, + we have our indoor pets ( only cats for indoor now ), we’ve had a variety of livestock over the years, but currently it’s just sheep and chickens for outdoor

13. How tall are you?

Just a lil over 5’5” but not quite 5’6” ( no I don’t need to be that specific but the doctor commented on it last time she took my height and damn if I won’t take the small win )

14. Favourite subject in school?

Mmmmm I’m gonna automatically disqualify art just to make this slightly more challenging for myself.. probably Astronomy? Tbh I’ve never been able to wrap my head around enough math concepts to understand a lot of science formulas, so that whole portion of it didn’t quite work out for me, but I enjoyed the fuck outta reading the textbook

15. Dream Job? 

Oh okay this one is actually really specific, but. Making an anime / cartoon style comic and / or illustrations and maybe a variety of other artwork for NASA, no this position does not exist but I want it IMMENSELY

Hooooo this got a LOT longer than I expected lmao

trying to avoid tagging mutuals I’ve already seen tagged in this one, obvi feel free to ignore if you don’t wanna do it ( we’re low stakes tagging in this household )

@zrllosyn

@magiwou-meowvin

@13threbagel

@lactoseparty

@aggressivelyclueless

@mcfanely

@cosmicteafox

@tunafishprincess

@ukiinas ( I silently salute you for being my longest standing mutual 🫡 )

…and anyone else who’d like to! ( I don’t feel like digging through my followers to fill the list to max shajsisoa have at it fellas )

[orchidsangel]

okay okay okay ima have to explain a loooot then 😭😭 BIG SPOILER ALERT THO!!!!! (don’t put this in the jason tags or anything just in case bestie)

so first about this current hook up, i literally get you 100% i’m not a big fan of most jason ships like he’s most of the times written so ooc to fit in (also does not belong with anyone but me but that’s besides the point). overall there’s literally nothing going on with that girl (the comic is called red hood: the hill btw), they met minutes prior at jason’s housewarming party, they flirted like 2 lines, and in this preview they’re making out while jason’s best friend is in danger (so it’s basically not gonna end up being good for jason anyway),,, based on the sollicitations for the next issues of this mini comic, it’s mainly gonna be focused on jason’s and his best friend’s vigilantism activities, so like i said: big doubts on this hook up turning out to be anything more, and to further point out this, in the first issue of this mini, jason is clear that he does not plan to stay in that part of gotham and he’s just here to visit his friend and help. now i just want to let you know that based on the this mini’s writer’s latest interview, it sounds like he doesn’t know jason’s character very well, and plans to just make him another case of making him question all his morals for the sake of his relationship with bruce. so i’m not particularly hyped much for the rest of this story but we’ll just have to see.

now for artemis, and here’s when things get a bit messy, i already mentioned that this mini is set to be 3 years ago, and that’s because this is actually a direct follow up to the red hood and the outlaws comic. after joker war ended and the outlaws split up, red hood was supposed to continue solo and he got a new writer (the one currently writing this mini) who introduced brand new characters for him. why is it coming out now? well first of all, it was cancelled back in 2020 because dc had this big alternate universe event scheduled for the first months of 2021: future state. they basically put on hold allllll the comics that were on the main timeline. and so this comic (which at that time was called red hood issue #51 and #52) was put to a hold. after this event ended, practically all the comics were picked up again or new ones were made, except this one. why? well because it’s dc and if there’s one thing you should know about dc is that they absolutely hate jason todd at their worst, and at their best they just don’t care about him and shove him here and there. so that’s what happened, he was shoved into a batfamily event (as always) where his relationship with bruce was once again the topic and ended horribly for him (sparing the details because i chose to ignore most of this shit they put him through). and after that, a new comic came, and another one, and that “red hood” solo comic was completely forgotten about and left as an open arc with no closer. so i’m guessing that the writer had kept some pressure on dc to continue his story and was granted a 6 mini series to get it over with. so here we are now, getting this mini story that has happened right after jason and artemis fucked and decided to both take their own separate ways (they haven’t been together nor interacted in canon since 2020, yet they’re still the most popular jason ship 😭), and currently artemis is under the wonder woman editorial and had a little cameo in batman the brave and the bold, other than that we don’t see of her much :((( (yes, jason is hooking with this new girl literally days/weeks after he did with artemis with whom he had a lonnnng situationship 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 idk what to say i swear)

now to conclude this, if jason 3 years ago was hooking up with a stranger in his new apartments, where is he now? well he’s in main gotham with the batfamily, his last appearance was the gotham war (horrible horrible horrible event that served no purpose and just completely destroyed his character for no reason) where he basically got lobotomized by bruce so that everytime he gets a rush of adrenaline he gets so scared that he can’t do shit, and then he was “fixed” by joker toxin,,, and beast world (he was an adorable wolf yes it sounds really weird but he was adorable so that’s all that matters), the last look of him in the main canon is in batman #145 which came out earlier this week and he’s well, a punching bag as usual, no one but the batfam with him, still horrible characterization but that’s nothing new, dc does not care about jason enough to actually give him anything that’s good or anyone that will actually put effort into his story so we just have to take what we have and twist it into our own little thing ig,,,, this was a lonnnnng explanation but it was just to put everything into context sorry😭 some fans. got overly excited with the previews which ig good for them and everything but yeah she’s not his gf back then (so far) and certainly not currently,, anyway mwah much love and i love your writing 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

i read this ENTIRE thing the minute you sent it in nonnie i just got distracted by my mom and forgot to respond.

ig jason’s in his slut era, i guess he’s feeling a little whore-ish lately. good on him for rebounding after artemis (my eyes twitching and i’m on the floor sobbing)

thank u for this rundown of everything going on bc i haven’t gotten around to reading that outlaws run yet or gotham war. even tho i knew what happened in gotham war bc it was all over tumblr and. oh my god. WHY DID THEY DO THAT TO HIM 😭😭😭😭 just so sick like they’re genuinely out to get him it’s so nasty. free my man!!!!

it’s so crazy that dc treats him like this bc there’s so much they can do with his character and they just…choose not to? it’s so weird to me bc if his story was in my hands it would be so epic.

i’m so glad you enjoy my writing, sorry i haven’t been putting anything out tho 😖 i hope to start again soon!

[princessmo]

why, buzzdriessen, of course, for the otp questions. All of them

THANK YOUUU SO MUCH SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG

um i'm gonna end up putting most of this under a readmore bc i typed up 5 pages worth of response in google docs

What is each member’s love language? 

ngl i’m not a huge love languages guy but van d’s is verbal expressions of love with a dash of physical touch (“i love you i love you i love you” while being all clingy) and buzzcut’s is just. being soft with van driessen while being hostile or at best apathetic toward everyone else. his love language is love

What would they describe as their perfect date?

bradley’s is doing one-armed pushups for an hour while dave sits on his back reading a magazine and fawning over how strong he is. david’s is them going camping, doing edibles and stargazing 

Who made the first move?

buzzcut! van driessen waited sooooo long...he didn’t want to ruin their work relationship and he’s the most patient guy in the world so he just suffered in silence until buzzcut finally asked him out. i like thinking that they both had feelings for each other but were oblivious to the other’s feelings and the students had a bet as to when something would Finally happen

Who is more sentimental?

daviddddd. but bradley’s more sentimental than he lets on

Which member calls the other in to kill the spiders?

generally dave will take the spiders outside if he’s alone, he’s not really bothered by them, but if they’re in the same room together brad will take them out. the exception is shit with too many legs like centipedes, dave will fucking shriek until brad kills them

Who falls asleep first?

most of the time, van d. buzzcut’s always like “dave, if you fall asleep on the couch i’m NOT carrying you to bed this time”...and then he does anyway cuz he’s a big softie >:)

Who wakes up first?

most of the time, buzzcut. military habits die hard. occasionally van d will wake up earlier and make breakfast in bed for them :) 

Who is more relaxed/carefree?

i mean...van driessen, obvs. buzzcut is ready to kill anyone who looks at either of them the wrong way

What’s one way their personalities complement one another? (Is it opposites attract or are they pretty similar?) 

well. not to state the obvious but they’re incredibly opposites attract

Who is always cold?

omg i hc that david’s always warm, he’s like a little radiator, and bradley’s always cold

Which member is always trying to bring home stray animals and which member always has to say no?

van d is ALWAYS bringing home stray critters and nursing them back to health. buzzcut thinks it’s cute to an extent; at some point he’s like “puddin’ i love you but if you keep this up you WILL get rabies”

Who worries more?

they both do in their own ways, but i think bradley worries just a little bit more since dave’s been through SO much on the show. dave’s more vocal about it, though, he’s like “do you have your coat? scarf? gloves? wallet? keys? is your phone charged?”. brad’s more like “i don’t think [XYZ] is a good idea” and if he’s really worried he insists on tagging along with dave

What are some non-sexual activities they do together? 

they spend a LOT of time cuddling on the couch watching pbs. they also like camping, david for all the cool nature stuff and bradley cuz he gets to go fishing. he’s a fishing guy. they also like. idk what the adult phrase is but parallel play. david reads while bradley whittles, imo he’d be into woodcarving. they just enjoy the silence and each other’s company

Who would be able to talk their way out of a speeding ticket? 

buzzcut wouldn’t even have to talk; he’d just make eye contact with the cop and they’d let him go. van driessen doesn’t really speed but he’s so genuinely apologetic about jeopardizing other drivers they also just let him go

Who is the better cook?

bradley. david is competent but bradley is better and he likes it more, so he does the majority of the cooking

What are some things they don’t agree on?

BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD. buzzcut kind of admires van driessen’s patience for them but he also dislikes his lenience and thinks it enables them; and after they start dating he reeeeally hates how they walk all over the one person who gives a shit about them and how dave just lets himself be treated that way. david, of course, thinks he’s being way too hard on them, they’re neglected 15 year olds who shower once a month and live on nachos

Which member is more physically affectionate?

they’re both pretty physically affectionate, bradley’s always got an arm wrapped around david and david’s always holding onto him. when they lie on the couch together dave’s usually leaning on brad’s chest or resting his head in brad’s lap

Which member is more verbally affectionate?

lmao i gave it away earlier but van d. constant “i love you”s; but buzzcut has so, so many sappy pet names for van driessen...puddin’ is my favorite cause it’s so cheesy and honestly kinda ooc but others include prettyboy, little pansy (both originally used derogatorily but now they’re terms of endearment), babygirl, little dove...i have more but i’m getting embarrassed just saying these ones

How does each member feel about PDA?

van driessen likes light PDA, holding hands, a little kiss on the cheek, etc. buzzcut pretends to dislike PDA and he rarely initiates it but will definitely escalate it. if van d gives him a kiss buzzcut is ready to full-on make out in the middle of chili’s or wherever the hell they are

Who’s the safer driver? 

dave...but he also dislikes driving. brad has the worst road rage ever but dave’s willing to put up with it if it means he can stare out the window

What’s each member's flirting style?

after their initial mutual-oblivious-pining they’re both pretty direct. dave drops a lot of compliments while brad keeps trying to do favors for him

Which member borrows (steals) the other one's clothing?

van driessen borrows buzzcut’s clothes; i don’t think buzzcut could fit in any of van d’s. one time after van d spends the night at buzzcut’s, brad walks into the kitchen to find dave making breakfast while wearing one of his gym shirts and he stops for a moment because it’s the cutest damn sight he’s ever seen 

Who is the cuddle initiator?

they’re 50/50, buzzcut loooves doing that “yawn-turned-arm-around-shoulder” thing and van driessen loves cuddling up with him

Are they an introverted couple or an extroverted one—AKA would they prefer to go out to a party or event together or would they rather stay in?

they’re both pretty introverted, they attend some things out of obligation but they’ll stand in the corner and quietly bitch the whole time

Who is the big/little spoon?

vast majority of the time buzzcut is big spoon and van driessen is little spoon but they occasionally switch

Who is more likely to make an impulsive decision and who is the voice of reason?

they both make different kinds of impulsive decisions. buzzcut has to stop van d from playing in the rain cause he’s gonna catch pneumonia and van d has to stop buzzcut from fighting people all the time

Who’s more likely to laugh at their own jokes?

dave. brad laughs at how cute he thinks this is

Who takes longer showers?

also dave. like i said, buzzcut’s military habits die hard. dave convinces him to shower together after giving some bullshit speech about conserving water and the environment and all that. brad immediately sees through it and is like “you know...you can just ask”

Who is “more loved” by the in-laws?

all of their parents suck so they’re not really involved but in my liddle backstories i made for them, bradley has 2 older sisters who LOVE david, they’re so excited to have a new baby brother who does all the “girly” stuff bradley wouldn’t let them do with him as kids (they’re in their 50s now but that doesn’t stop them). they braid his hair and do his nails and stuff and brad’s like “dave you don’t have to put up with this if you don’t want it” and dave’s like “no bradley i like it :)”

if tom (david’s deceased older brother) was still alive i think he and brad would get along; imo they’re both into more “masculine” hobbies than dave is so they’d often talk about those. ofc tom dying in the gulf war and brad being fucked from his time in the military definitely (and rightfully/correctly) contributes to van driessen’s sheer loathing of the military

Who is more likely to get jealous?

yknow last time i thought abt this i said buzzcut but i’m changing my mind. i loooove jealous girlfriend van d. if any of the moms try flirting with brad during curriculum night dave starts getting all clingy

What was the most surprising thing they learned about one another once they started dating?

brad is surprised to learn that dave swears quite a bit and also eats meat (but only from one of his hippie friend’s farms). dave is surprised at how damn good brad is at cooking and that he smokes

Who stays up way too late and who tries to drag them to bed?

they’re both guilty of staying up way too late. like i said earlier, bradley ends up carrying david to bed if he stays up too late. if brad’s up too late, david insists on staying up with him, but he’ll start softly humming and trying to cuddle with him until brad gives in

Who’s messier? 

dave, but he never sets out to make a mess, it just happens and then he finds himself surrounded by clutter

Which member is more likely to accidentally spend $300 at Target?

i think they’re both pretty mindful of their spending, but probably van driessen

Who wanted/would want kids first? 

neither really wants kids since they spend so much time around them at work. they have a kitty that dave finds as a stray and brings home

Who gives piggy back rides to the other? 

they don’t really do piggyback rides but sometimes buzzcut carries van d around bridal-style

Who fell in love first?

between the two of them, david, but everyone else noticed they liked each other and wanted them to get together first. definitely a major point of gossip in the teacher’s lounge when neither of them were in there

[troonwolf]

I found your blog going through the anti-endo tag (idk I get bored sometimes) and im sorry all this is going on. I hesitate to call myself a cult survivor because what I dealt with never felt severe enough to call it that and the “cult” word makes me flinch at times, but I do agree that the endo stuff that I’ve seen is atrocious and lines up with what you describe. I’m primarily anti-endo due to the whole “sysmed” concept and the harmful aspects of endos, before I ever found out I was a system.

When I did discover our system and they felt more comfortable explaining system stuff like that, one of our alters had came to the fore explaining their reasons for disliking them, which although we avoided endo spaces like the plague (anyone who calls a trauma survivor names like “sysmed” or god forbid, “traumascum”, is automatically horrifically awful), what we did read from accounts about people who were in endo spaces is horrific.

I don’t have much else to say tbh, just that I hope you have better days and nights ahead of you, whatever that means for you.

Thank you for putting in the effort to share this with me, anon. Especially since I know I do not come across as the most approachable person in the world when I'm stuck on frustration mode and questioning existence because someone annoyed me lol.

Your alter has such good instincts for immediately catching the red flags like that. Funnily enough back when we first got involved in all this (literally like a decade ago) although the discourse did exist in a lesser form, it hadn't become so vitriolic that people were being called "traumascum" and "sysmed". That part is honestly pretty recent. Back when I was on the endo side, we just called people "antis", which is like the generic moniker people on the internet use in general when they have discourse.

"Anti" is pretty neutral when compared to "sysmed" or "traumascum". What people don't realise is this is a purposeful manipulation tactic, so that people will associate this argument with trans people and transmeds. This in itself is literally a cult tactic and the only reason people don't want to call it what it is, is because it makes them uncomfortable. Not because it's not applicable. They think what they're doing is for good and justified reasons, but it's still toxic.

And it's not one or two or a few endos using this term. It's almost all of them. They will fight tooth and nail for the "permission" (for lack of a better word, sorry lol) to call anti-endos, who are often trans themselves and often have negative experiences with transmeds, the "system equivalent of transmed". They don't care if it's triggering or if it comes across as transphobic or ableist, what matters is it has the impact they want it to have.

The community has actively gotten worse and more extreme tbh.

The rest under the cut because it involves some details on my own trauma and I don't want people to accidentally skim and get triggered. Tw doomsday cult experiences.

When we first got involved with the endo community, we were literally fresh out of a doomsday cult. We were in it because of our mother, and it was the sort of thing that started off small and innocent seeming in early childhood, but became more extreme and dangerous as years passed.

I'm not going to get into too much detail, but eventually we were in a scenario where the cult had relocated to an isolated area in the middle of the mountains. The conditions were very bad. The things that happened there were very bad. It had already been bad but this was like, "oh someone is gonna fucking die" bad. (Someone almost did die eventually, because of the refusal to take them to the hospital. It turned into the sort of thing where it's considered a miracle they're still alive. Their sickness had become almost terminal due to neglect.)

Anyway, when we finally were able to escape, we didn't leave because we stopped believing the world was gonna end. We 100% still believed the world was gonna end. We just decided we would rather go down from the mountain, re-enter civilisation, and die there with the rest of society instead of being stuck on that compound.

We didn't tell anyone this though. Honestly we struggled for years to understand what happened to us and name it what it is. At the time, our mindset was that we were just going to live life in visible normalcy, and not mention to anyone the world was ending. We did this again not because we didn't think it was true, but because we wanted to spare everyone the stress of Knowing like we did.

It was during this period of being escaped from the cult but still not having shed our programming, that we found the soulbonding community. We had already worked out we were a system, but not really the specifics. And our prior history of being in a cult where medicine and psychiatry was rejected, and replaced with spirituality, crazy natural remedies, etc, meant some of us were very hesitant about the idea of DID or any other disorder.

There's a certain alter in here who is the most programmed out of the rest of us, and it was him who immediately became attached to the notion of soulbonding. At first he didn't really care TOO much about it, but constantly having it drilled into him that "soulbonds" (and then "endogenics", when that term was coined) were "real people from other dimensions" and that "DID alters are just symptoms", appealed to the same fantasy-based programming that had already been coded into him. Us being naive, we didn't do anything to stop him at first. It was only when we'd finally begun to detangle our cult programming and trauma, that we were also able to detangle the terrible mindset that he'd been influenced to adopt.

And as I mentioned in my other post, it really did negatively impact him and the system in many ways. After seeing what he/we went through, there's no way anyone can convince me endogenic beliefs aren't inherently damaging and cultish. Any belief that rejects medicine and tries to replace it with some woo-woo shit that has no basis in known science or known reality, is damaging and cultish.

This is what I'm trying to explain to people, but no one is reading what I actually said lol. If you are raised in certain kinds of environments, even environments that aren't as extreme as the one I outlined, you can be prone to fantastical thinking and toxic spiritual programming, which is the same kind seen in endo spaces.

Meaning that, you may have DID, but like my alter here, you are unable to unpack that, and when you come across an ideology that feels more comforting than the truth, it's easy for prior programming to sway you towards that ideology. If you have already been programmed, you can be programmed again very easily if you're not aware of your own programming and how to overcome it.

People think me calling them a cult means I'm calling them all malicious abusers, when the only people acting like that's what a cult is, are the people vaguing and attacking me. I genuinely feel like all I've done is try to raise awareness on something obvious, for the benefit of survivors of spiritual abuse inside and outside the endo community, but because of a petty little word choice like "cult", no one will even read what I said to hear where I'm coming from.

People have also tried to use the existence of cult survivors in the endo community as a way to dismiss me, But That's Literally What I'm Saying! Of course there are cult survivors in the endo community! WE were a cult survivor in the endo community! Endo beliefs appeal very strongly to certain kinds of cult programming, that's literally what I'm trying to say my mans!

And no matter how well-meaning someone is or believes themselves to be, that programming is still unhealthy. They don't understand that, because of their programming, and that programming causes harm to others due to the spread of the ideology. That person is still a victim of programming, and their programming causes them to unwittingly create more victims. That's how cults WORK.

All this nuance can indeed exist at once, and everyone would know that's what I'm saying if they actually read my posts.

[devilledminion]

8 shows to get to know me better

thanks for the tag @little-orcs-hurrarrumm !! <33

ABBOTT ELEMENTARY (2021-)

my current fave!! i’ve been seeing it a lot both here and in twitter literally the first months it started airing, but i’ve been busy and all that. binged the whole thing recently, and it deserves a long run! story’s well-written, scenes are very wholesome and fun to watch, and what an amazing ensemble of cast and characters!!

DIRTY LINEN (2023-)

pinoy pride!! tfw when you watch a trailer and you just Know the entire thing’s gonna be good? (and they knew what they were doing with those posters)

i’ve never seen a teleserye i truly love since the killer bride and la vida lena, like, this is the first time i’ve been invested in a filo show so far (there’s just something abt revenge girlboss dramas)

neways, international fans can still watch it thanks to the subtitles in iwanttfc and youtube. but i hope filipinos love and promote it even more.

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS (2019-)

i thought i would be Normal abt it, now i’m a changed person. a mutual rb’ed a gifset of memo being insane with the “and if one day he doesn’t, well...”, and i was Intrigued so i binged all three seasons in one day.

i have to confess that i finally tuned in because of taika, but i’ve found reasons to stay: nadja, guillermo, matt, harvey, the characters, the silly plot, have i mentioned nadja and guillermo?

YONDERLAND (2013-2016)

ult fave! this show just GETS me!! i wasn’t there when it aired, so i’m not really sure if it’s a hit in the uk or us but i don’t think i would’ve discovered this show if i didn’t watch ghosts. deserved a lot of awards and recognition. just a silly goofy show that i didn’t and wouldn’t want to know what’s happening most of the time, and i love and enjoyed every single bit. society needs more shows like this one but this masterpiece will never be replaced imo

BBC GHOSTS (2019-)

i’m still in denial that this show is ending, but i think it’s their time. i would still definitely watch fillers after fillers as they drag the whole thing, but just like yonderland— that’s not very idiots of them to do so.

nevertheless, it’s a very comforting show! love how they truly understand the characters they write and portray. a found family of a bunch of dead losers, what more could you want!!

THE FLASH (2014-2023)

arguably the first fandom i’ve been kinda active in after my long hiatus from fandoms i think ? (i was more of an observer than a contributor back then)

the first seasons were so good. i miss westallen so much. eobard was so cunty. harrisco were my first attempts in giffing and editing in general. i still love them, but idk if i’m gonna be able to actually finish the show (i stopped after s7)

OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH (2022-)

actually a great show, but no longer one of my faves bc the fandom ruined some things for me sorry. it was fun waiting for ep 7 and 8 to air, but i do wish i was there since the beginning when it was still fun and quiet. neways, i miss the brainrot that possessed me to learn giffing.

GOOD OMENS (2019-)

i was there when this baby was born but didn’t get the chance to be involved until they’re like a toddler. the brainrot was insane when i used up my savings for the funkos, the original books and the script book like !! i miss them so much and i can’t express how excited i am to see them again this summer !!!

tagging @larryrickard @autisticharrywells @spineless-lobster @baynton @bluntbeard @moondogss @fiovske @horuuuuu and anyone who wants to give it a go! <33

[galacticlamps]

tagged by @amyp0nd (thanks!)

Tea, coffee, or soda? Definitely tea! I’ll drink coffee if I need caffeine & there’s no tea available, but soda I don’t drink at all, except as an ingredient in some cocktails (and even then, it needs to be a really worth it cocktail tbh)

Dogs or cats? Cats!

Can you play an instrument?  alas, no

What’s your sun sign? that’s the main one right? if so then capricorn

First song lyrics that came into your head?  i have trained myself, going shelf by shelf, and i know every item in the stoooore, every tube, jar, box, bottle, carton, and container, where they are, what they cost, what they’re foooooor

for first-class clerking and conscientious working, Mr Maraczek why not tryyyyyy meeee

(Don’t ask me how She Loves Me got inside my brain today lol I couldn’t tell ya)

Do you have any tattoos? nope. I’m kinda interested in the concept but idk if I’d ever go through with it - it’s hard to imagine reaching a point in my life where that doesn’t feel like more money & effort than it’s worth, but who knows

Favorite place you’ve travelled? hmm I don’t have a go-to answer for this, but I think I’m gonna say Ireland’s Ring of Kerry

What’s the last movie you watched? song of the sea! I watched that & secret of kells on back-to-back nights a couple (? what is time) weeks ago but have not yet finished the trilogy, whoops

What languages do you speak? saying anything other than English feels like exaggerating. I kind of drift in & out of being decent with Spanish (I learned it for years, and there are definitely periods when I engage with it a lot - when I’m around a lot of people speaking it, or when I’ll be working through a book of Spanish poems or short stories, or listening to a lot of music in Spanish - but that’s not a constant thing for me & I’m definitely not fluent). And the language I work on the most these days is Irish, but on top of not being fluent in that either, I also have even less occasion to speak that outside of literal lessons

Do you have any hobbies? uhh I write fanfic, I draw a little, I play D&D. There’s lots of things I try to actively learn about, but idk if consuming material on certain subjects is really a hobby of its own or not so I’ll just say I read a lot in general. I also don’t have one particular Craft hobby type thing but I do take on a lot of like, single-use projects? Like whether it’s making or altering or refurbishing something I seem to always have something like that going on, but it’s nothing as consistent as being like ‘oh I knit,’ you know?

You can hang out with one fictional character for an hour, who do you choose? I’m sure this is majorly cliche but the Doctor! I can’t even bring myself to be picky about which one (ok I guess I’d be a little bummed if out of all of them it was Four, but hey I’m only human). I’m not angling to squeeze an adventure out of it either, but a) I’m assuming you could potentially spend that hour, even just chatting, almost anywhere/when, and b) there aren’t many characters I think you could fall into cahoots with quickly enough for an hour to actually turn out a really interesting hang out/convo. But I feel like with the Doctor there’s always a chance you can get to know them as well in an hour as you might in a lifetime (which is probably not great news for how much most of them let people in over the course of a lifetime, but hey at least it’s good for this question). Even if there’s other characters I’d rather be like, actively friends with, for this I feel like you wouldn’t wanna pick someone you couldn’t expect to be fairly at ease with within an hour, and I think the Doctor’s a good candidate for that, being able to bond with people quickly is kinda baked into their lifestyle

Compliment yourself: I’m good at fixing things (since I’m watching glue set rn & hoping it goes well this is as much an affirmation as a compliment lol)

and I’ll tag @uighean @queen-boudicca @terryfphanatics @there-are-no-gods-here //anyone else that wants to!

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

this post has been in my likes for a while and i kept meaning to reblog it but i was having a hard time finding the words to express what i wanted to say

anyway this letter has actually been making me tear up for weeks now bc like. ok. this is gonna take a sec to explain:

so ive been active in the ofmd fandom since like april 2022 and while the majority of the content on here is reblogs, i also have been pretty regularly posting original stuff since like june or july 2022, primarily metas and shitposts.

but i’m definitely not posting as much as i used to (i think fall 2022 was my most prolific posting period) bc my life circumstances have changed and i dont have as much free time and energy as i did a year ago. and this is a good thing for me! im very happy with how my life is going rn! but i do miss getting to dedicate more of my time to thinking and talking abt gay pirates.

more than that tho. i also consider myself a half decent writer and like a pretty mediocre artist (and i don’t say that to be self deprecating, i’m not insecure abt where my skills are at for things that are essentially silly hobbies. worrying too much abt quality takes the fun out of it for me). and i’ve posted like a handful of scribbley ofmd doodles and one chapter of an abandoned WIP that i dislike now and actually don’t want anyone to read.

and sometimes i feel kinda? guilty?? about that?? not so much abt not posting as much anymore, bc like i said, i’m busier these days and that’s a good thing. it’s more abt art and fic, especially fic bc i actually have been writing a lot of ofmd stuff it’s just all WIPs, like i have more ofmd WIP files on my google drive than i can count and absolutely none of it is worth sharing. i’ve been telling myself i’m gonna write all this ofmd fic and then i never finish anything and sometimes it feels like i’m… idk, not doing enough for the fandom??? i feel like i should be Contributing More. like it is my civic duty and i’m letting my siblings in fandom down. and no, i don’t know why i feel this way.

anyway i have always been a big fan of rambling in the tags but i often like, forget other ppl can see them (which has gotten me in trouble before lol). in my brain, talking in the tags is like talking out loud for my own benefit.

idk i’m getting really teary realizing someone actually noticed and appreciated me doing that, that even when i’m not making any content myself or not as much of the content i want to be making or i’m making less content than i used to, i’m still contributing to the fandom in some way by cheering on other creators who have more time and/or energy to create more than i do. like i said, i’m mostly talking in the tags for myself, but i’m so so glad that ppl appreciate my thoughts and i’m so glad it’s encouraging to other fans. there is a lot of talent and a lot of love in this fandom and even tho it’s uhhh Rough Sometimes im still really fuckin glad to be here with y’all <3

For @ourflagmeansgayrights who I've never spoken to but who always reblogs with such lovely tags for all artists and gif makers and meta writers, and seems so so kind ❤️ thank you for keeping creators going!

Hi @ourflagmeansgayrights! You've received a lovely letter. 💌

[eleanorfenyxwrites]

tagged by @lansplaining!

rules: post the names of all the files in your wip folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it.

I feel like this is really making me confront just how many projects I have going on (too many) and how many I’ve abandoned (also too many) lol so I’ll break them up into two categories.

Starting with projects with some actual meat to them that I am either actively working on or else intend to get back to soon:

Ghost WWX

Jingyi

Sick WWX Claim

SPK Ch. 11

MXY & LJY

WWX dies

Ilk Ch. 11

2022 Outtakes

Dreams post fic extra

Sculptor Extra - LWJ & a-yuan

JGS gets his

Plans To Make 5

The Bridge Is Crossed (Excerpts)

And now projects that I’ve either long-since abandoned or that only have a sentence or two/a vague idea and I have no idea if or when I’ll flesh them out:

Xuanli

Idk

Morning

SPK Xuanli Drift

S.P.K. Extra

SPK 3zun extra

BOTW snippets

Prison WWX

Untitled Document (x3) [extra mysterious lol]

Nieyao hexie mountains

Soldier Poet King [*this is my planning document for the whole fic so like the fic isn’t abandoned of course but I’m not working on the outline anymore - it’s in the list for anyone who wants to know where the story’s gonna go]

Wangxian Haulers

For Becca

Vampire Lans

That was so much more than even I anticipated, oops! But anyway...ask away 😂

And of course no pressure to share, but i’ll tag @wishthatiwasnessiesgirl, @threephasebird, @rhysiana, @nbvagabond (hopefully you’re the NBvagabond from AO3 lol), @omgpurplefattie,  and anyone else who sees this who wants to share some wips! I’m really really bad about knowing who’s who across AO3 to tumblr and who I interact with that writes (just ask nessie, it was embarrassing how long it took me to realize we were already AO3 mutuals lol). But anyway - ask away! and if anyone wants to participate themselves please do ♥

[blazichu]

#catch me rattling on about GG pt 2 for paragraphs

Please continue when you can. I love your reading your analysis!

Apparently I'm incapable of looking over one half of Good Genes without doing the other, so I guess we get a double feature tonight:

Part 1:

I am, of course, contractually obligated to point out my favorite line from the cold open: "My friend Donatello is one of the gentlest souls I've met, with one of the finest minds I've ever known." It seems especially relevant since, later on, Stockman reduces Don to "The smart one"

One thing I noticed this run through is that Leo's speech is slightly different than usual this arc. My favorite is his response to "It's only a matter of time before [Don] is lost forever"; his tone changes dramatically between the two halves of his line, "That's not gonna happen" and "We can't let that happen." The first is his usual 'decisive leader' voice, but the second has this kind of worried warble to it. It's great, and Sinterniklaas gets an A+

Of course there's the breakfast sequence. I don't really have much that hasn't already been said about it, but there's something sweet and sad about how Mike says that he "Just wanted to give him some food". It's just so little, a basic need that he's trying to fill because he cares, and it goes so wrong so fast.

My fourth point is kiiiinda weird and a stretch, but I've always loved the way Outbreak (as an arc) sets up so many bits and pieces that pay off specifically in AiTS/GG. It's usually stuff Don's been working on-- like the trapper gear, the tunnel to April's, or Stockman's helicopter. It's just neat, kind of setting up how indispensable Don's presence really is if he's able to help without being mentally present.

Anyway, right back to Leo and line delivery. The other part of this is that he keeps hesitating and grasping for the right words when it comes to what happened to Don. He refuses to put a name to it when he tells everyone that the helicopter was the last thing Don was working on, "[...] before... Before."

There's also "Don got infected. He's been transformed into... into a monster."

This is something I've definitely written about before, but idk if I ever posted it. Don's behavior after arriving at Area 51 is remarkably intelligent. He's able to use the guards' taser sticks against one another to get free, take out Leatherhead while he has the element of surprise (notable in that Leatherhead was the biggest threat/the one to subdue him in AiTS), turns on Stockman (who was responsible for the transfer in the first place), uses the glass from the containment unit as a shield, and actively prevents Splinter from doing whatever mind thing he did earlier. It's a far cry from lashing out and snapping wildly, and I've always thought it was interesting.

And the tranquilizer scene. Honestly, I find it kind of hard to watch, but I do like the way Leo kneels down next to Don after he's knocked out.

Part 2

I'm gonna talk about cold opens again, because I just realized that this episode essentially begins and ends with the same message: "It's an impossible mission, but what can we do? Our brother is sick, and there's nothing we won't do to save him."

So. The really cool thing about Good Genes Part 2 is how much it directly highlights the lack of Don's presence without actually saying as much. Raph splits off to handle the technology (albeit in an explosive manner) and is seen hauling the duffelbag around. Leo has the headset and is coordinating with April throughout the mission. Which leads me to...

One of the major set pieces in this episode is a callback: the obstacle hallway, Mystic chamber and elevator from Return to New York. I don't think it was an intentional connection, but part of their plan involves repurposing a mech suit to use against the Foot, which is exactly what Don did with Stockman's robotic body in Return. This bulletpoint is 100% me finding meaning where there probably wasn't any, but still.

This one's slightly off topic, but I've said before that I thought it was a dumb decision to have Leo confirm to Karai that the rest of his family was alive and well at the end of Prodigal Son-- this episode is 99% of why I think it was a missed opportunity. Iirc, Karai doesn't appear between then and now, so this would be the first indication she'd have that anyone survived her assault-- and all the boys are here except Don. I just think there's a lot of potential there.

At one point, as Karai calls the Elite into the fray, Leo tells Mikey to take the Heart of Tengu and run-- that he'd hold them off. 'Them' being the Elite; he's about to face the Elite by himself to ensure that this works out. Just try to tell me that's not a statement and a half.

Idk why, but "Get in get out, right? It's not about Karai, right?" always stuck with me.

It's interesting how the episode also calls back to the old intro sequence, where April's piloting a helicopter and Don's jumping onto the rope ladder hanging down from it. Not much to say here, but it's neat.

I'm really bad at making out overlapping voices (and can't make sense of Mikey's line here at all), but after Leatherhead catches Don, you can hear Raph ask him how he's feeling, and Leo say "It's so good to see you again"

I mentioned Raph helping Don to the helicopter in the tags of that last post, but I'm also going to point out that Leo, who is supposed to be flying the helicopter at the end of the episode, is emphatically not watching where he's going.

And, of course, the big one: "I hope you guys didn't go through too much trouble for me."/"Nah!"

In addition to the first point for this episode-- the implication that NO trouble would have been too much-- there's the fact that, when nobody answers for a bit, you can see Don's expression fall. It's that fact that makes me love Mikey's reaction so much-- the way he grins back and tries to sooth that worry down.

Idk how much of this was really analysis, Anon, but I did promise to rattle on for paragraphs, and had a good time doing it. I hope you get some entertainment out of this ;)

[zeleniafic]

****just to be 100% clear, this has nothing to do with the recent callouts. that individual and their many offshoot blogs have been blocked for awhile now. get’em, anna. it’s also not about the revolving door of anon bullshit. anons have never gotten to me - but my own brain, on the other hand...****

----

i think..... i’m going to be off tumblr for... a while? idk. i’m just so... deeply exhausted. i have never been truly well but i am decidedly less well now than previously, to such an extent that i don’t have the brainpower to hide it behind humor anymore. i feel like i am just a black hole of negative feelings and idk why anyone would want to interact with me when all of my shit is just... so bleak, because the ONLY stories i have any kind of inspiration to tell right now is extremely thinly veiled vent writing about things i should be talking about with the trauma counselor i was recommended to see but can’t because i can’t drive myself there without having a panic attack. i feel like i can’t hold any kind of conversation or connect with anyone without making it awkward or traumadumping, so why on earth would anyone want to talk to me??? it’s always just the same old shit i still haven’t processed from the last time we talked. and likewise for all of my works, i don’t want to post shit sitting in my drafts rn because tagging people in it feels like i’m shoving my diary in your face and any response it gets is just borne out of pity or some sense of obligation.

it just feels so fucking embarrassing at this point. i’ve always felt inadequate on here, none of these feelings are new, idk why it’s hitting SO HARD right now. maybe it’s the adhd meds i’m trying not getting along with me (god knows they’ve slaughtered my appetite and reignited the eating disorder i thought i’d buried). i actually have no idea how to tell if this is meds or just my fucked up brain. i’ve always been tired, i’ve always had s. ideation on some level of passive to active for the majority of my life since... idk, somewhere in my early teens???? who knows, certainly not MY shattered memory, but the point is none of this is new. i guess that’s the crux of the problem. none of this is new.

i got diagnosed with ptsd last month. i turned 24 last week. i have virtually no relationship with my family, no degree, no path forward in life, and i keep doing worse and worse and worse in my classes no matter how hard i try to focus on them. birthdays have always been rough but i guess this one came packaged with a mental breakdown over the realization that i am getting further and further behind in life and i STILL don’t know what to do with it, because i don’t know how to make it feel worth living knowing that i’m just... always going to be weighed down by my past no matter how hard i push it to the back of my mind.

GOD idk what i’m even saying here anymore, i don’t know how to wrap this up. i don’t know what i’m doing. sorry. i’m so dissociated out of my fucking mind 99% of the time lately i don’t even know how to fucking communicate, i can barely even keep up with what day of the week it is. i just feel so... numb. my psychiatrist said that’s the ptsd, but my mother called me a psycho when i tried to describe dissociation so you can take your pick between those two i guess.

TLDR: i’ve been using stories/characters as a vent outlet for forever now but it feels so OBVIOUS at this point and i can’t stand feeling so... exposed. i feel guilty for not having the energy to keep up with what i’m tagged in, but even if i didn’t... i feel like anything i say or post or show on here is just so loaded with baggage it’s got a net negative impact on anyone who witnesses it. i already feel like dogshit and i feel worse and worse every time i’m on here so, i’m just... gonna stay off here. i guess.

----

(on the off chance anyone actually reads all this, this isn’t like, a cry for help or anything??? don’t freak out and panic message me or smthn. it’s just... idk. an apology, i guess?? i’ve always felt like my entire existence requires an apology lmfao. i feel like i’m failing by not being present to support the ppl i love on here. which is weird bc i simultaneously feel like my absence would be a weight off their backs. isn’t that a lovely fucking contradiction my brain loves to hold onto.)

[mysticmessofcrap]

Thank you @detective-rowan !

I’m not gonna tag anyone in particular since it’s been so long since I’ve been sort of active on here so idk who’s still around but if anyone following me wants to do it, go for it!

Thanks to @jesuschristt-thatsaprettyface for the tag 🖤🖤

rules: go to pinterest, type [your name] + core to show your aesthetic, then post the first 6 images

I'm tagging @horrorgirlreads @sleepyyphilia @grumpy-cardigan @taralkariel @literary-moon-witch and @bookmarkedpage

[fanfic-me-up]

Hiiiiiii can I request Bakugou x fem!reader?? (*≧∀≦*) Maybe he has a crush on you who has a healing quirk and helps recovery girl when it comes to helping the injured, like when class 1-A finishes up training and recovery girl normally sends her to deal with it all the time? She can heal people but it drains her energy so when she finished with it she takes naps on the recovery beds? Idk but thanks!much love❤️❤️❤️

This is a really cute idea! Thank you for requesting 💖 

“Shut up and Heal me”

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x fem!reader

Word Count: 1.5k+

Warnings: Language (what do you expect, it’s Bakugou lol)

Synopsis: You’re a student at U.A. and Recovery Girl’s apprentice healer. When you push pass your limit to heal Bakugou Katsuki, who knew he cared enough to make sure you heal too.

“Wake up, dumbass.”

Your shoulder is shaken, abruptly waking you from your nap. A muscular silhouette takes shape as you pry your eyes open.

“Bakugou? Is that you?” Your voice laced with sleep. 

“Nah, it’s Batman.” 

You squint your eyes, still half asleep. Is this a dream? Bakugou rolls his eyes at your inability to detect blatant sarcasm.

“‘Course it’s me, dipshit. Get up.”

You check your phone and groan when you find you only got five minutes worth of valuable shut eye.

“You’re here early.” 

“Aizawa-sensei let us out early!” Midoriya pipes up. He’s chipper for someone who looks one step away from passing out. Any trace of sleep vanishes when you assess his injuries, asking him a series of questions to confirm where he needs medical attention and if it’s life-threatening. You usher him to Recovery Girl’s office so he can get treated immediately. Typical Midoriya - always going plus ultra even for training exercises. 

Bakugou’s no better as you take in the numerous scrapes and bruises raking his body. Despite his beaten-up state, the only open wound is on the right side of his stomach - a small pool of blood seeping through his muscle shirt. He’s been pushing himself much harder in training these past couple weeks and you know it’s the life of a hero, but you’re concerned for him as a healer and as a friend. 

“You gonna stare all day or heal me?”

“Sorry, right, uh.. Take off your shirt and get on the bed.” 

The words escape before you realize the implication. Bakugou raises an eyebrow before snorting.

“Tch. Weirdo.”

You flush as he takes off his shirt, laying down on the bed. The wound running down his abdomen is not deep, but it is long. It’ll be difficult to heal, but you’re always up for a challenge. You wash your hands before activating your quirk. A glowing aura surrounds your hands, transparent in color, but before you can focus on changing the color to heal Bakugou - a spaced out Kaminari stands before you with his signature thumbs up. Snot is running down his nose and his eyes have this blank look like no one’s home. 

“hewwoo?” 

“Oi! Dunceface! To your right!” 

“wa-whee-whaa?” 

That’s Kaminari gibberish for “Where?” Being Recovery Girl’s intern and constantly healing Class 1-A along with other students in the hero course has made you quite familiar with the unusual side effects of overusing one’s quirk. You created a book with translations for Kaminari’s most used gibberish phrases so you can treat him more efficiently. Today, you tried placing his juice box and cookies on the table to the right to see if he can find it himself. But he’s having problems finding what direction is right.

“Your other right, dumbass.” Bakugou growls as Kaminari bends down to look for his juice box under a chair. You giggle as you help him locate his snack before ushering him to one of the recovery beds to take a nap. He knocks out in no time, snoring softly. Bakugou grunts, his hand pressing against the wound on his side. 

“Don’t touch, it could get infected.” 

“Tch. I know, but look.” He releases his hold to show you the blood dripping down his abdomen. You curse for not healing him sooner when he was clearly a higher priority than Kaminari. How could you forget the number one rule as a healer? There’s no time to beat yourself up for it so you grab a cleaning cloth to wipe away the blood before activating your quirk once again. You close your eyes, focusing your energy into what you’re about to do which is close up a wound. Red swirls behind your eyelids and you focus the color down your body to your hands. You open your eyes to find them glowing a bright, luminescent red - a stark contrast to the dim lighting in the room. Bakugou hisses at the touch; your hands trailing along his abdomen. You look up to apologize when you notice Bakugou’s flushed cheeks, as red as your glowing hands.

“Are you okay? You’re a bit flushed.” You deactivate your quirk in your left hand to touch his forehead. It’s cause for concern if he has a fever due to an open wound, but you’re taken aback when Bakugou swats your hand away.

“I’m fine! Shut up and heal me.” He looks away, but you catch the persistent redness now making its way down his neck. You return to healing the wound. It’s almost closed, but you can feel your energy draining quicker than usual since you didn’t have enough time to recover earlier. 

“Hey, you good?” 

“Mhm. Al-most… done…” You bite your lip and clench your eyes shut to concentrate the last of your energy into closing the rest of the wound.

“Don’t push it, dumbass.”  Bakugou grunts and despite the harsh tone, there’s a tinge of concern underneath. 

“Heh.. could say… the same… for..” 

You trail off and your hands glow brighter by the second that you can see red behind your eyelids. You feel the wound seal shut and when you open your eyes you see there’s not a scar in sight. This is the first time you were able to completely heal a wound on your own. You smile at your accomplishment. 

“You can take your hands off.” 

You flush before ripping your hands away. The quick movement gives you a head rush, the room spinning in circles.

“Whoa.” Bakugou grabs you by the shoulders and reverses your position so you’re laying down now. 

“My head hurts…”

“No shit,” Bakugou snorts, “What’d I say about pushing?”

“Go beyond... plus… ultra…”

The last thing you hear is Bakugou laughing, a soft smile curling his lips, before your vision goes black.

------------------------------------------------

You wake up to the smell of roasted coffee and cinnabons. Faint voices go back and forth, but you can’t make out what they’re saying. The light streaming in is gone; the room now darker than before. Jeez how long were you out?

“Took you long enough.”

You whip your head to see Bakugou sitting on a chair and nursing a cup of coffee. The bed next to yours is empty. Kaminari must’ve recovered meaning you’ve slept for more than an hour.

“You stayed.”

“Yeah, and? Wanted to make sure you didn’t die ‘cause of me.” 

City lights shine bright, and the hustle and bustle outside suggests the city isn’t going to sleep anytime soon. Live music roars from nightclubs and people laughing on the street would entice anyone to join the party. It’s pretty hard to believe Bakugou would stay behind on a Friday night when it’s common knowledge that you need to sleep after overusing your quirk. But here he is, that same strip of red running along his cheeks and nose like he just got a cute little sunburn. 

“You like laser tag?” Bakugou asks.

You raise an eyebrow at the random question, shrugging when you answer.

“Never played.”

Bakugou balks, shock written all over his face.

“You never - what kind of person - nevermind. If we hurry, we can make the last round.”

Maybe this time you really were dreaming. You subtly pinch yourself to make sure and nope, this is real life and Bakugou is inviting you to hang out.

“Sounds... fun? But I… um…I’m not really part of your squad…”

You didn’t want to overstep. It seemed like they were a pretty tight-knit group and you’ve never hung out with them outside of school. The fear of ruining their night because you didn’t vibe with them twisted your gut. 

“Gimme your phone,” Bakugou says.

Still in a daze, you give him your phone without question. He takes his phone out and not a second later you hear a “ping” from yours, He presses a couple buttons before handing it back to you. 

“Congrats, you’re part of the squad.”

You see that you’ve been added to a group chat called “keeping up with the crackheads”. You don’t have time to contemplate exactly what you got thrusted into as Bakugou is grabbing both of your jackets hanging on the coat rack, handing yours and pushing you towards the door. 

“I- um.. Thanks… I guess...? Bakugou, what’s going on?”

You’re already halfway down the hallway, everything happening too fast without a clear explanation. Bakugou groans, clearly frustrated that you’re not a mind reader and he has to actually communicate what he’s thinking. He grabs your shoulders, gently shoving your back against the lockers, and planting his hands on either side of you. Being this close to Bakugou makes you feel a familiar flurry of butterflies as you’re caged in and forced to look into those crimson eyes. 

“I. Like. You.” He smirks, getting a kick at your flustered state, before leaning away with his hands in his pockets, “And I know you like me too.”

You don’t know what to freak out over first. The fact that Bakugou knows about your crush or that he likes you back. Also, how does he know you like him? You haven’t told anyone about your crush, preferring to keep your cards close to your chest.

“Don’t talk in your sleep if you don’t want me to know how much you wanna run your hands down my ‘chiseled abs’.”

You squeak and cover your face with your hands, too embarrassed at what else you might’ve said in your sleep.

“Chill, dumbass, it’s cute.”

Bakugou rolls his eyes, throwing an arm over your shoulder, leading you to a night full of riveting laser tag, making new friends, and first kisses. 💖

[janiedean]

if you ever wrote that rant about grrm making jon his chosen one deconstruction i'd be very happy to read it 👀

hello anon sorry for the lateness but here we go *deep breath*

sssooo, I had once ranted about it though not mentioning the thing I mentioned in those tags so lemme see if I can find the op and like... cp the main argument and amend it bc it was long, but okay so I found it, original anon asked me: why is Jon considered to be one of the most special characters grrm created? Why is he not the typical hero of fantasy books?, my original answer was here if anyone wants to go there but basically lemme just cp the first part making it shorter and then I'm adding:

first thing, the Typical Post-Tolkien Chosen One With A Shitty Life Before He Finds Out He Is Chosen™ character (I’m saying post-tolkien because every fantasy writer in existence who copies tolkien thinks that lotr went like that and instead it didn’t) usually goes through the following steps: his life sucks up until the beginning of the series, his family generally hates him/her or doesn’t appreciate them or abuses them or anyway doesn’t make their life easier and they’ve never known any different, but *something* never quite worked right and they always knew something was missing in their life, they just didn’t know why. suddenly someone who knows they were Chosen™ shows up and tells them that they’re actually Special because of this this and that and they have a quest to go on to save the world or something. our hero/heroine obviously is finally validated and while their quest is hard and full of hardships and maybe they lose a few friends along the way, finding out that they were Chosen gives their life meaning, they usually find love/friends/everything they didn’t have before until they fulfill the Prophecy™ and live more or less happily ever after, possibly after hooking up with the Person Of Their Dreams with whom they had UST up until the last twenty pages of the book. basically: being Chosen™ in regular fantasy novels is a good thing because suddenly you’re special and all the crap you suffered acquires a new meaning and in the end it made your life better.

jon snow is a complete overhaul of about everything in this sense because

instead of having a family who hates him he has a family who actually mostly loves him, and with ned it’s arguably so much that he risks royal treason by keeping him hidden from his *best friend* - sure, there’s cat and peripherally sansa, but his issues stem from the fact that he feels lesser because he’s a bastard (as far as he knows) and it’s a *class* issue, not a *my family hates me* issue not counting catelyn obv but that's what gives him freudian issues more on that in the emended part later

no one actually knows that he’s Chosen™ - like mel could get there and probably will and someone will put two and two together when his parentage comes out in the open, but he doesn’t have a gandalf or mentor who shows him The Way Towards His Quest

so instead of going from ‘my life sucks but I’m going on a quest which is gonna be a+’ he actively chooses to leave a fairly decent situation (a household he knows, siblings who love him - ned actually hoped he’d become robb’s counselor or right hand man or something from what we can gather) because he feels like he has to prove he’s better than his name and goes to the Crappiest Place In Westeros. like idk if people grasp it, but the wall is basically a prison and at the ripe age of fourteen he decides that it’s totally a good and honorable choice (his only choice actually) to go defend the realm in the freezing cold along with a bunch of criminals/derelicts/rejects of society

at which point he makes friends among said rejects and let’s remember that it’s the point where he actually has to do his first an only privilege when donal noye made him go like hey you were brought up with nobles these ppl are here because they stole bread, and that helps making him more into the person he is rn but like your tyopical fantasy hero who has had a shitty life doesn’t usually have to acknowledge that other people might have had it worse

then he goes on the Quest where he finds his first One True Love, and that’s where it turns even worse because usually the quest is where things start to go right for the Hero™, instead for jon they start to go wronger, because first he has to go undercover which pretty much tests most of his belief/code system, he falls in love with a girl he has to betray, half of his friends and his lord commander die along the way, while he’s off doing his thing winterfell gets taken/burned and robb dies when jon openly stated that he also was going to the wall to defend his family and keep them safe (yeaaah worked out real well), when he goes back to the wall he has to fight the people he lived with for months, the woman he loves dies in his arms and he can’t do anything about it and he’s aware it couldn’t have gone any other way, people put defending the wall on him and then put his loyalty in question, when stannis shows up with a legitimization (which is everything he ever wanted) he refuses because he doesn’t want to accidentally steal his siblings’s inheritance (which was what cat was so worried about hahaha) and actively chooses the crappy defending the realm life all over again. also in all this time his being Chosen™ hasn’t manifested or helped him in any way whatsoever - actually all his honor-moral code related baggage is what  moral dilemmas come from that. like, your usual chosen hero™ would always take the right decision and it all turns out good eventually, jon takes the morally right decision and it all turns SOUR eventually

at this point he finally gets elected LC, thanks to his friends also pitching in, which is about the one fantasy hero™ thing that’s happened for now. should be good, yes?

lol no, because he ends up with THAT hellish responsibility at sixteen, since he thinks that he has absolutely to be even better than that now and he has very specific notions about how you should lead and he knows he has to take unpopular decisions/decisions that he doesn’t necessarily like, he ends up either having to send his friends away forreal (sam) or detaching from them (pyp/grenn/the likes) and when as far as he knows he learns that his sister is married to ramsay he can’t do anything about it

never mind that it’s the same situation as when he had to pick the watch or robb in book one - he went there to defend his family and now being there actually prevents him from helping them in person. ops. meanwhile he’s trying to implement a new vision of things which is modern and smart and actually makes sense because why fighting the wildlings when you have ZOMBIES coming. your usual Chosen One™ would get people to approve just because he’s the Chosen One

instead jon gets stabbed to death - okay, that was also because he wanted to go get arya but it was the last straw, people were pissed over the wildlings plan first and foremost

so basically he’s gone through all the Chosen One™ steps but in reverse - he loses his family which did love him instead of finding another one that makes the first pale in comparison, he does find a new one who loves him but has to alienate most of its members for responsibility reasons as a consequence of what should have been the crowning achievement of his life choices (which eventually is NOT one), he falls in love and they don’t drag the UST forever but they never get a chance to be together without small print in between, he chooses the admittedly most masochistic life he could for his family as well and half of them die and he can’t do a thing for the other half, every other mentor-like figure he runs into after ned dies, instead of finding validation he ends up having to isolate himself and on top of everything HE STILL DOESN’T FUCKING KNOW HE’S THE CHOSEN ONE™

so instead of his life going better the more he learns stuff and matures as a person, he gets murdered. by the people he trusts and who were supposed to be his new family. haha?

never mind that when he finds out he’s the Chosen One™ it won’t bring him closure because all he ever wanted was being full stark like his father/siblings and then bam he’s going to find out his father’s actually targaryen and what does that even mean to him?

on top of that being AA will just be a pain because I don’t believe for a second he’s not going to get leftover ptsd and who the hell is gonna help him deal with it? or how is he ever getting over his *brothers* murdering him? and people are going to ask stuff of him all over again and he’s gonna have to go slay a mythical monster and if I know grrm it’s not gonna be fun, pretty or cathartic FOR HIM

on top of that, Chosen Hero™ fulfills the prophecy and gets a realm to rule and everyone lives happily ever after. money is that if jon does get that realm (and I think he is because he has the best claim if he's legitimate and most likely it'll turn out he was on the targ side but ROBB also legitimized him so he has double the legitimization), he’s going to hate every second of it and he’ll take it because a) duty, b) literally no one else is available, and like this guy didn’t want to rule a realm or be a king or anything he just wanted to be a stark, and instead he’s going to have to after all that shit thanks to Magical And Noble Heritage he hadn’t even known he had and probably didn’t even want up to that point because since when jon wanted to be a targ? yeah since never

obviously I hope he manages to be somewhat happy regardless because the alternative is too miserable, but basically being a Chosen Hero™ is what makes jon’s life worse rather than better and the fact that hew went through all the regular self-discovery journey for the fantasy hero list doesn’t mean he’s not flipping that over in his sl. the fact that he stayed a decent person more or less throughout it and that he hasn’t turned into a bitter asshole also doesn’t change the main point XD

tldr: jon snow is not a typical fantasy hero because he deconstructs that trope into tiny little bits same as robb deconstructed the arthurian flawless king hero trope

now ^^^^^ THAT was what I originally wrote for that meta but adding on to what I said in those tags

okay so... there is a certain tendency to also make the chosen one™ special in the sense that he's kind of goals - good looking, rich or set to inherit, gallant, takes the initiative, he's like.. social or anyway immediately makes friends etc and all that jazz which jon... doesn't really fit

like jon is an introvert who immediately makes friends just with outcasts and his siblings also bc he feels like one but he's hardly a social butterfly and charms everyone wherever he walks by

I mean ffs says all that the only person he charmed in that sense is stannis who is the literal only person in charge in the books who is more introvert than him and has worse communication issues and appreciates ppl going straight to the point

on top of that in the book he looks like ned.... and arya looks like ned and ned isn't described as being particularly handsome that was brandon so he's not even like... I mean kit h. is v. pretty and I think he was a good choice for the role and I'll die on the hill that he was born to play that character and he did it well but book!jon doesn't have that kinda pretty face so the concept that he's the HOT alternative to anyone to me is kind of iffy bc he's not

he's shit at social interactions and at PR which is why robb and him would have been a key winning ticket like he has a better idea of the larger picture but robb would have actually made sure ppl didn't turn against them bc he actually was good at that but like he doesn't go around rallying armies in his name does he

the one time he's been with a girl it was ygritte and like he courted her without realizing it and then she had to pursue him and he barely knew wtf to do on top of the fact that they slept with ghost in the middle of them like a sword which..... is.... I mean sleeping with the sword in the middle was a thing to make sure the maiden stayed a maiden and he's the one who is like i CAN'T HAVE SEX WITH HER EVEN IF I WANT TO BECAUSE I'M TECHNICALLY SPYING ON THEM like... he's not... gallant-knight coded

never mind that the moment they do the do she basically does everything until he decides to try the oral which I mean... isn't exactly alphadominatingmale out of jon which is not a given with the trope he's supposed to represent like he's not smooth he's not suave he's like WHAT THE FUCK when ygritte tells him he has a pretty face bc most likely no one else told him that and he like... doesn't pursue people like that in general which is also not exactly 100% what that trope usually goes for

we can add that he has a lot of passive-aggressive little shit sarcasm in him that they didn't let him go for in the show but like... usually chosen heroes™ don't think what he thinks about selyse in general

we can also add that he's not automatically above being better than his position like... he doesn't take winterfell bc ygritte is dead but he did think he'd have taken the deal sansa or not if stannis had said he could marry her and not val and if she wasn't dead, he basically went off the rails at the dude he was fighting with thinking about robb telling him that he couldn't be lord of wf because he was a bastard and he's absolutely not in the frame of mind of 'well I was born a bastard who cares it doesn't define me'

he's obsessed to the point of unhealthy with actually being defined by it which is why he was better off with the wildlings aka the only idiots in the realm who don't gaf about that

and that's like... I mean usually if chosen ones™ have parental issues it's like 'you were an orphan and raised by asses who weren't your parents but your parents loved you and you'll find out at some point and you'll be happier for it and make your own family', jon is like... he has the mommy freudian issues of the century bc of how cat treated him, on the other side he's obsessed with living up to ned's/his father's name and he hates that it makes him not-belonging or that he feels like he doesn't even if he does with his siblings, and at the same time when the truth about it comes out he's going to get the cold shower of the century bc like - he's spent all that time thinking BUT DID MY MOTHER WANT ME WHO WAS MY MOTHER and he's going to find out of who it was and how he was born and honestly considering that lyanna most likely did regret running with rhaegar the moment he finds that out and that she died birthing him how is he going to feel? - also he spends his life wanting to live up to his 'father's' name aka ned aka someone known to be honorable to a fault and then it turns out his bio father is... the dude who started that entire rebellion not doing a very honorable thing? - also if jon*erys is a thing idt that he'd take 'I fell in love with my aunt' so nonchalantly as he did in the show tldr: he's never gonna get over his parental issues in a short time and when that particular brick hits him in the face it won't be pretty

like the entire point of jon is that he goes through all the chosenone™ cursus honorum as we'd call it in high school when studying latin but each step that means smth good for the usual chosenone™ to him is something bad, being one is not going to make his life better and throughout the entire thing he does not fit that stereotype when it comes to look, personality, basic traits and familial history and like hell he's going to have the happy ending tied up with the bow - like I think he gets a bittersweet one and eventually goes off with the wildlings bc he belongs there after being jon snow first of his name (bc like hell he's not reclaiming his bastard background at the end of this entire mess I'm eating my hat if he doesn't) after splitting the seven realms and fixing things but that's hardly the neat happy ending the chosenone™ usually gets so that's my two cents

... christ this was long *raises hands*