#I’m not gonna say much but I’m literally living in a similar situation so you can tell that this makes me feel so horrible for Gregory

[urlocalmagicalcat]

sitting here about how horrible gregory gets abused by his mom and picking up bad habits to combat the conflicting feelings he has about his mom because he knows that both

(1) his mama quite literally manipulates him and abuses him in several ways

and

(2) there’s nothing much that he can do, he can hold small grudges but he knows that if he ever, and I mean, EVER, tries to fight for himself for his own safety, she can literally kill him and do even more horrible things to him.

so the only thing he can do is basically obey his abusive mama out of survival and for a chance to live and cope through it silently without anyone around so nobody could tattle on him to his mama.

anyways, how’s your night going guys? This totally isn’t making me feel horrible for him- totally not-

[juniperskye]

Silence is Louder than Words.

Sneak peek: Joel and Ellie return to Jackson, Tommy gets them set up in a home on the outskirts of the community (per Joel’s request). Joel notices they have a neighbor and takes an interest in her. Tommy lets him know that they don’t know much about you other than you had been through some serious shit, but that you haven’t spoken a word since you’d arrived in Jackson. Tommy asks Joel to keep an eye on you…and in doing so, Joel may just be able to break through your defenses.

Joel Miller x (Fem) Reader

Fluff/Angst

Word count: 3512

REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited, I did my best (ngl I had so much more planned for this but it didn't seem like it would work in this part of the story...so maybe more to come. IDK) - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!

Warnings: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! My blog is 18+, minors DNI, minimal use of y/n (there were parts it just couldn’t be avoided), No description of reader other than she/her pronouns and her sister was similar to Ellie (could be perceived as personality), implied age gap (kinda?), explicit language, reader has selective mutism due to trauma, Canon typical violence, PTSD, panic attacks, nightmares, insomnia, anxiety, mention of r*pe (past trauma, not detailed), mention of pregnancy (past, not detailed), mention of child murder (past, some detail), mention of murder. IF THESE ARE TRIGGERS FOR YOU, DO NOT READ!!!

I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.

“Joel, it’s really good to have you guys back here…safe.” Tommy said, pulling away from Joel.

“We’re glad to be back.” Joel grunted.

“Well, I have you guys situated in a house on the outermost part of the community. I figured you’d prefer it that way.” Tommy explained.

“Thanks Tommy.” Joel nodded.

Tommy led Ellie and Joel over to a house that was quite literally on the outskirts of the Jackson compound. Joel took note of the lack of neighbors as they walked further and further and it put his mind at ease, knowing he’d have some privacy. As they neared the house, it was Ellie who noticed the small white house just off to the left of their own.

“Who lives there?” Ellie questioned.

“Oh, that’s Y/N’s house. She’s real quiet, y’all won’t have to worry about her stirring up any trouble.” Tommy informed.

“I thought you said no neighbors?” Joel gruffed.

“Joel, she’s quiet. You don’t have to worry about that. Honestly, I was kind of hoping you’d keep an eye on her, just make sure she’s okay.” Tommy pleaded.

“Tommy, I’m not gonna play babysitter for a grown ass woman.”

“That’s not what I’m askin’ and you know it. She just – she’s been through it. She keeps to herself mostly and Maria and I worry about her.” Tommy explained.

“Fine. I’ll keep an eye on her. But I’m not gonna go and chit chat with her.” Joel rolled his eyes.

“I wouldn’t expect that.” Tommy began. “From either of you.” He mumbled. “Why don’t y’all head in and get settled, you can meet Maria and me for dinner. Sound good?”

“We will be there!” Ellie replied, pulling Joel inside by the sleeve before he could decline.

Joel couldn’t help but wonder why Tommy was so worried about you. Tommy had boasted about how the people of Jackson were all strong and each held their own. They wouldn’t be here otherwise. So, what was your deal? He’d mentioned that you had gone through some tough shit, but what was it? He had to say, he was intrigued.

His interest only grew once he saw you for the first time. It was about a week after his and Ellie’s arrival back in Jackson. You had been walking around the mess hall with a basket full of homemade goods, passing them around to people. He’d seen you pass out a few bottles of what he assumed to be some sort of toiletries as well as some clothing items to various people.

Joel waited until Ellie had run off to sit with some of her new friends to ask about you.

“So, what’s her deal?” Joel inquired.

“Who? Y/N…I thought you weren’t playing babysitter?” Tommy teased.

“I’m not. I just want to know why you think she needs looking after.” Joel replied.

“Honestly Joel, we don’t know much about her. She hasn’t said a single word in the four years she’s lived here.” Maria informed.

“Bullshit. She’s said somethin’ at some point.” Joel scoffed.

“No, Joel she really hasn’t. She knows some sign, but she mostly writes stuff down if she really needs to communicate.” Tommy said.

“Damn. Well, what’s her role around here since she doesn’t talk?” Joel couldn’t help but be confused.

“She makes all sorts of stuff for the people of our community. She’s figured out how to make shampoo, soap, lotion, sunblock, toothpaste…I mean the list goes on. She also repairs clothing when necessary, she’s the best seamstress in town.” Maria smiled at how wonderful you’d been since your arrival, jumping right in to contribute.

Joel was taken aback at how much you clearly brought to the community. Despite your silence, you’d made yourself known. Joel could see how you were well liked based on the greetings you’d received from those you were delivering to. He found it very odd that you’d keep to yourself despite Jackson’s fondness for you.

Joel had always been a loner, but it had been due to his stubbornness, sarcasm, potty mouth and overall negative attitude. His mother had always said “Joel, ever the pessimist” when he’d say something even remotely negative in his youth.

Learning all this about you had only transformed Joel’s intrigue into a need to know you. He couldn’t help how he was drawn to you, he wondered if it was because, perhaps, you were kindred spirits.

Joel woke with a gasp, his body covered in a cold sweat. Another nightmare, it had been the same recurring dream night after night since he’d found Ellie. Every time he made it through the hospital, and he’d gotten to the operating room, only this time he barges in to see the doctor holding her brain in his hands.

He woke up the same way too. Startled awake, laying in a pool of his own sweat. Joel tried to get back to sleep, but it was no use. He thought about it and decided to take a walk to clear his mind, now that he and Ellie were in the safe confines of Jackson, he was able to do so.

Joel didn’t want to stray too far in the case that Ellie needed him, so he was more so pacing from the front of their house, over to the front of yours. It was a warm and humid evening; Jackson had been nearing Autumn and Joel was looking forward to the break in the weather.

A muffled shout pulled Joel’s attention from smacking the mosquito that had surely bitten him by now. He glanced back toward his house to see if Ellie’s light had been turned on – nothing. He shook his head, ready to brush away the thought when he heard a louder scream, only it was coming from your home.

Joel rushed to the door listening just to be sure and when he heard you scream again he was quick to open the door. He was surprised to find it unlocked, although the people of Jackson seemed at ease in their community.

He swiftly surveyed the room, desperate to find you and ensure your safety. Joel found you thrashing around on your couch, screaming, begging for help. He made his way over to where you were laying and gently placed his hand on your shoulder. He shook you a few times to rouse you, but when you woke, you hadn’t reacted how Joel would have expected.

“What? What are you doing here? GET OUT!” You shouted, pushing Joel away from you.

Joel shot up, mostly in shock at hearing you speak for the first time, but also to follow your request. He made his leave, not wanting to upset you any further.

You couldn’t believe it. Joel had come into your home and woken you up. What was he thinking? Why had he been there? Had your nightmare haunted you so badly that your screams could be heard from his home? You were horrified and humiliated. You had done so well, hiding your demons, shoving them down so far that no one could see, and in a single night they’d all come out and bore themselves to none other than Joel miller.

The next few days were horrible. You had done everything in your power to avoid Joel, who seemed to be seeking you out. On top of that, your insomnia had made a wonderful return. Your mind refusing respite in fear of Joel finding you in another traumatic night terror.

You weren’t sure what had even caused your nightmare that night. You hadn’t had one in nearly a year, but thinking about it, there were a few potential triggers that came to mind. The first possibility was Maria being far enough along in her pregnancy to be showing, the second being Ellie’s striking similarities to your sister, and the last being Tommy’s mention of them finding and taking care of some raiders on his patrol that day.

Hell, it was probably a combination of all those things that had you reliving some of the worst moments of your life. You hoped that the feelings would soon pass so you could get some sleep.

“Tommy, I need you to be straight with me. What happened to Y/N before she got here? Like what do you know about her?” Joel pushed.

“Joel, I already told you we don’t know much.” Tommy huffed.

“But you know something!”

“Okay listen, she arrived here alone. She had a small pack with her and that was it. Maria and I sat with her and asked her dozens of questions, and we didn’t get a single word out of her. I stepped out to deal with something and when I got back, she had been writing her responses to Maria. I know that she had previously been with a group but none of them survived. And based on what I saw, I’d say whatever happened wasn’t pretty.” Tommy explained.

Joel just nodded, content with learning more about you. But still so curious to know what was haunting you. He couldn’t shake the feeling of wanting to protect you. Of wanting to find what was causing you harm and making it so it could never hurt you again. He’s trying desperately to figure out this need to hold you and make everything okay, why he was so drawn to you.

“Look Joel, Maria told you how much she does for the community, and you’ve seen for yourself that she sticks to herself, she’s quiet, and she doesn’t cause trouble. So, we don’t push her to know more. The last thing I will say is that whatever she went through…she is a damn good shot. Do with that information what you will.” Tommy patted Joel on the shoulder and walked off.

Joel sat with the information for a bit. Had you been forced to kill your way to Jackson, is that what was haunting you? That is something that is justified, those things, they aren’t people anymore and raiders well if you didn’t kill them, then they surely would kill you so again justified. It had to have been something far worse if you refused to speak.

Joel decided he’d observe you, and he’d be there when you had another nightmare. Since losing Sarah, Joel hadn’t really wanted to be around anyone. Tess was stubborn, more so than Joel, so she was able to force herself in – and even then he didn’t open up much. And well, Ellie, she was his second chance at being a dad. But you, you had come in and taken up residency in Joel’s mind and it was because of that feeling, one he hadn’t experienced in a long time, that he knew he needed to break down your walls.

And that is how Joel found himself trying to comfort you through another nightmare. Joel had been out walking late at night again, the nights had started to finally cool off and he’d found it helped clear his head to take walks like this one.

It was nearing two in the morning when he heard it, your cries for help. He made his way up your porch steps and carefully tried the handle, saying a silent cheer when the handle turned, and the door gave way.

This had been different than the last time, as he approached you, he noticed the tear tracks lining your cheeks and he could hear your quiet whimpers. He knew he had to do this right if he was going to get you to let him in.

“Sweetheart? Wake up, you’re safe. I’m here and you are okay.” He gently shook you.

You woke up, startled once again to find Joel Miller is the one waking you. This man had a lot of nerve letting himself into your house, yet again, and while you’d love to give him an earful right now, the pain of what your nightmare had brought forth in your mind was crippling.

So, you threw yourself into Joel’s arms. He wrapped himself around you and repositioned himself, so he was sat on the couch, and you were in his lap. Your face was buried in his neck and his arms were tight around your waist. He ran his fingers gently through your hair and whispered reassurances in your ear.

He held you until you fell asleep and when you woke up at sunrise, he released you and saw himself out. He knew he had to gain your trust, and it would take time. This is how it would need to be done, he would have to keep quiet and leave when the morning came.

A few hours later, after he and Ellie had breakfast, she was heading out to school. Joel was expecting her to leave like usual, so he was pretty confused when she returned to the kitchen carrying a small wicker basket.

“This was on the porch, I gotta head to class or I’ll be late!” She waved and headed out.

“Thanks kiddo. Have a good day.” Joel said goodbye.

He slowly pulled the items from the basket and a small smile graced his features. He brought them out one-by-one, a bottle of sunscreen, a bar of soap, some solid deodorant and a new flannel shirt. Beneath everything was a small note.

"Joel, I wanted to give you these as a sort of thank you and apology. Sorry for yelling at you that first night and thank you for last night. I figured you and Ellie could use some hygiene products that weren’t pre-apocalyptic. I also noticed how torn up your flannel had been and wanted you to have one that wasn’t threadbare.                                                                                                 -Y/N”

Joel’s smile grew, this was just the beginning of his mission to break down your walls and it was off to a successful start.

You proceeded to have nightmares at least twice a week for the next three months. Joel was with you for every single one. Each time he’d gently wake you and he’d shush you, assuring that you were okay. The only thing that had changed was that more recently, Joel would carry you off of the couch and to your room, where he’d hold you close until you fell asleep.

In the last week the nightmares had come every night, and while Joel so badly wanted to ask why, he knew that he had to let you come to him. You had spoken to him in two-to-three-word responses in the last few weeks and Joel was so glad that you’d been able to open up to him even that much.

What he didn’t know was that the reason your nightmares had become more frequent was because Maria had finally given birth. Seeing her with her baby had been killing you, it had brought back so many awful memories and you knew that you’d need to tell Joel. You’d wanted to tell him days ago why you had been having such a hard time, but you were also terrified of it changing the dynamic between you.

Something was different tonight; you had slipped Joel a note during dinner at the mess hall, inviting him to come by your place a bit earlier. When he arrived you couldn’t help but be nervous, you felt so unsure of everything, but you were starting to trust Joel and some part of you knew that he would understand everything.

You had decided it was now or never. He had been with you every night of the week and he never pushed you to share. He told you about what he had been through and some of the things he had done to get here and had let you meet him with silence. You supposed now was your turn to share.

“Joel?”

“Yeah sweetheart?” He tried to hide his surprise at your initiation.

“I want to tell you what happened…is that okay?”

“Of course, sweet girl. Only share what you’re comfortable with okay? I ain’t goin’ anywhere.” Joel pressed a light kiss to your temple.

“So, it started with my sister and I, she was younger than me, Ellie reminds me a lot of her. She and I well, we got caught up with these raiders. Well, they, they uh…” You choked.

“It’s okay honey, take your time.” Joel rubbed a soothing hand down your spine.

“They forced themselves on us and left us both beaten and bloody. After that, my sister was in a bad way Joel. She uh, she was reckless and careless, and she got herself killed. And well, I ended up pregnant. I found my way to this small group of people that were headed here to Jackson. I guess they had heard it was a community and it was safe. We lost people along the way and sometimes we’d stop and stay somewhere for a month or so if we found it suitable. Anyway, by this time there’s only four of us left and I had my baby…” Tears started freely flowing down your face and Joel gently wiped them away.

“Sweetheart you really don’t have to…” Joel could tell where this was going.

“I need to say it. I’ve never said this out loud and I need to. My son was born, and he was beautiful. But he had colic and so he cried all the time. I did everything I could to keep him quiet as we went but it was putting us in danger, and I knew it. I offered to let them go on without me, I told them that he and I would come when he’d grown out of it. But a little while later I’d woken up to find him dead.” You sobbed. “They had suffocated him, claiming that we’d never get anywhere with him crying all the time and that they didn’t want to leave me behind. I killed them all Joel. I didn’t even hesitate. I pulled my gun out and I shot all three of them and then I left and never turned back.”

Everything came together, it had all started to make perfect sense. You’d held onto this guilt for the last four to five years. Survivors guilt over the loss of your sister, guilt of not being there for your child – something Joel knew all too well, and the guilt of killing people that you once cared about. He completely understood, he too would’ve stayed silent had he been through all that you had. What is there to say when you’ve lost everyone.

Joel held you tighter, allowing you to cry softly into his chest. He wanted to give you a few moments to calm yourself down before he said anything to you. He knew how delicate this situation was, and he needed to do things right.

“Sweetheart, I want to start by saying how sorry I am. I am so sorry you had to go through all of that. I also want you to know that you can’t feel guilty, and I know that it’s easier said than done but darlin’ you did everything you needed to in order to survive. You wouldn’t be here any other way baby girl.” Joel pressed his lips to your forehead.

“Thank you Joel. For being here and for – for listening to me. I can’t quite explain it, but I trust you and so, I don’t know, I just wanted to tell you. Having you around has made me feel better honestly and it’s sort of the only way I can sleep anymore.” You explained.

“I trust you too baby, and you’re not the only one. I sleep better with you here too, having you in my arms these last few months, it’s been amazing. Besides Tommy and Ellie, I think you’re about the only person I trust.” Joel smiled down at you.

From then on, things had changed between Joel and you. He was the only person you talked to, you shared everything with him. Joel and you spent every night together some nights at your place and more recently, some nights at his. Initially, you’d expressed your worries in doing so, you told him you didn’t want the entire town to know, and you were worried about running into Ellie in the hallway.

Joel had told you that there was no need for some public spectacle and that there was no need for worries that it would get out amongst the townies. He also reassured you that Ellie was a good kid, and she could keep a secret.

So, little by little you opened up to Joel, Ellie, and soon enough Maria and Tommy too. The five of you had become a family, you’d found that you fit into it almost too well, so much so that it was beginning to scare you.

Despite your fears, you allowed yourself to fall. Joel had proven to you time and time again that he was there for you and that he wasn’t going anywhere. He’d also gotten you living by the philosophy that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed and you needed to take this life while you had it.

So, you did.

[fuumiku]

Chilcille huh... ngl I was a little suspicious. like why would you do that, huh... hope youre not mischaracterizing anyone in your weird and wacky ship. a little weird. but then you said they both had flat asses and you know what? I salute you and your perfect characterization

The fact you seem to think you managed to not make this ask insulting is baffling. What the hell. Fuck off.

If you actually care to be open minded about the ship, I talk about marchil on my sideblog 24/7. Funnily enough I’m currently 4k words deep into an analysis of their character arc together in canon, but that’ll take some more days to get done. Some notable posts:

Of course without counting the analyses of Chilchuck on his own I’ve made, like my masterpost on his family situation. Or better yet you could also read my fics for them, see how weird and wacky they are here.

Wanna talk about mischaracterisation? They’re literally a comedic duo who interacts 24/7. Marchil is crazy bc ppl are like "did those shipper read with their eyes CLOSED?? They have no chemistry!" Meanwhile canon is like: "She’s obsessed with knowing everything she can about him and she reads him like a book." In her eyes he’s like that extra rare and hard and shiny unlockable dating sim character, that brooding mysterious character trope that’s thrilling to crack open and typically is at the center of the plot. The wife roleplay???? "Hey, did you know his type is blondes. Hey did you know he likes his women pretty and blonde. Hey did you know he likes her hair. Hey did you know that he teases her 24/7 and it’s one of the few things that consistently gets him grinning because he finds her reactions cute." Like a schoolyard bully pulling on the pigtails of the girl he likes.

It’s not like they have any thematic narratives or relevance. It’s not like she’ll live to 1000 and has existential dread about it while he’s logically gonna be her next friend to die at 50 and wether it’s romantic or platonic it’ll terrify her to lose him. It’s not like it’s fear of death x fear of rejection so they’re both obsessed with the thought of loss looming, past and ongoing. It’s not like it’s half-elf x half-foot and there’s an inherent journey that was and still is to dispel prejudices and truly come to see each other. It’s not like he’s painfully real and raw and flawed but still a good man, that he’s not the figure of prince charming that she’s always dreamed of while still being virtuous and worth fighting for. Or you know, her hair being golden and it being the epitome of beauty to him, and his hair turning silver and it being Marcille’s worst nightmare.

Just a weird wacky ship who means nothing but shallow things to people who have weirdo reasons for liking it. Like can you not. If you’re not imaginative enough to think of reasons why this ship may have an appealing dynamic that’s not my issue. But yes, yes, they’re both flat asses to me, thanks.

[humongousgothskeletonfarm]

TSC CHAPTER ELEVEN SPOILERS AHEAD

STARTING OFF THE CHAPTER STRONG AS FUCK DISASTER BISEXUAL JEAN MOREAU AWARENESS

picturing jean in a pair of raybans is good for my mental health

-

“Missed a couple spots. Need a hand?”

jeremy u flirt

-

do the trojans ever realise that jean is NOT IN FACT deaf and standing right in front of them when they are talking about him?

-

oh ok so chapter 11 is in fact worse than chapter 10

if anyone reading this has ever believed that they deserved the abuse, trauma/suffering they’ve experienced, i’m here to tell u right now that nobody deserves that and it is not ever ur fault, no matter what others might say or try to convince u. whatever happened to u is unequivocally not ok. please seek help from a professional if u are worried about urself or others in ur life.

if u have ever felt uncomfortable or violated in certain situations just know that no matter how ‘big’ or ‘small’ the situation may seem (i use these terms loosely because i do not believing in ranking peoples traumas), ur feelings are 100% valid and u always always deserve to be respected and heard.

i hope u know that u are not alone and never will be.

sending lots of love to all of u

-

wtff jenkins is a girl?? did we all know this or have i just read too many fanfics always thought jenkins was a guy?

-

It was sacrilegious even in the privacy of his head, and Jean hunched his shoulders against a blow that never came.

fuck that’s a good line. traumatic as fuck and makes me wanna cry for all these boys have gone through but god as an ex-catholic raised queer person i can tell u this line struck hard even though i cant relate to the specifics of the scene

-

Jean didn’t mind cooking, but he didn’t say that. This was the first time his room truly felt safe and right, and he was content to hold onto it for as long as he could. He closed his eyes again, but now his thoughts were snagged on Jeremy. At length he broke the silence to say, “Two beds would fit in here.”

jean moreau u are so loved

-

“You are not them,” Jean said. “Kevin would not have sent me here if you were.”

THE PARALLELS IN THIS BOOK ARE FUCKING KILLING ME PLS NORA LET ME LIVE IN PEACE THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO HANDLE

ANDREIL EXISTS IN EVERYTHING

-

Just because he had to meet with this man didn’t mean he had to speak to him.

jean, u diss aaron earlier in the books but really ur just the same as him

-

betsy dobson to the mother fuckibg rescue someone get this bitch a ‘worlds best therapist’ mug

and jean, dude do u know how fucking similar u and neil are, seriously like u guys should be besties like-

“It was not my choice,” he sent back in warning. “I do not need counseling.” He didn’t trust her at all, but there was no point spelling it out.

CHAPTER TWELVEE

dude wtf is it with me and napping while tryna finish this book, literally just accidentally fell asleep for 2.5 hrs when i could’ve been reading

-

“Imagine getting changed so we can practice,” Jean said.

king is fed uppp

-

“It’s not about size, anyway.” ​“Defensive,” Jean said, tugging his glove straps with his teeth. ​Jeremy straightened in indignation. “I don’t have anything to be defensive about.” Jean lost his grip and bit his lip, and Jeremy hurried on before either of them could think too much about that double entendre.

OKKKK JEREMY I SEE U

-

“That’s not—I do care. I want you to play with us, and I want you to have fun again. I want to see what you can do on the court and what you bring to our defense line. I want us to finally win this year after coming so close and failing too many times. But it’s just a game, Jean. Your safety and happiness will always be more important than our season.”

GOOD GOD ITS WHAT U DESERVE JEAN

-

“Every time you say that you take a year off my life. I’d really like to live to ninety, so please knock it off.”

now the trojans understand how the foxes feel when neil whips out his ‘im fine’ line,, also i’m never gonna stop saying that neil and jean should be besties it’s literally just a fact

“I do not believe you when you are drinking such filth,” Jean said, with a disapproving look toward her drink. Laila stared him down as she sucked a long gulp through the straw,

this book is so devastatingly depressing and explores some of the most horrible traumatic things that could happen to a person but it’s interspersed with some of the funniest scenes that it gives me whiplash

-

“Pat and Ananya have wanted to fuck Cody’s brains out for almost a year now. I really thought Cody moving in with them this summer was going to finally get that ball moving, but apparently not. It’s getting kind of pitiful.” ​“Pat and Ananya have been engaged almost as long as Cody has known them,” Laila pointed out as she fit herself against Cat’s side. “You can’t blame Cody for being scared of where they might belong in something like that.”

NORA GIVING US THE POLYAMORY WE DESERVE AFTER CUTTING KANDREIL FROM THE OG BOOKS LETS GO QUEER REP

YK THAT RUNNING JOKE THAT USC IS THE QUEEREST TEAM AND NOBODY HAS AS MANY GAYS AS THEY DO??? IM SO FUCKIBG HAPPY NORA HAS BASICALLY MADE THAT CANNON

-

CHAPTER 13333

jeremy is so hopelessly crushing on jean and that’s real of him

meanwhile jean:

Threat assessment, he told himself, and it was almost the truth.

sureee buddy

-

They’d arrived holding hands and dressed in matching cream-and-teal outfits. Even their gold-rimmed sunglasses and teal sneakers were identical.

well that is definitely an outfit!

-

“Speaking of happy endings, has Laila bought you a sex toy yet?”

EXCUSE ME

this whole scene was so fucking random but jean deserves great friendships

-

ANOTHER TRANS TROJAN LETS FYCKING GOOOOOO CONGRATS ON UR TOP SURGERY XAVIER

-

‘i’m sure the ravens wouldn’t have taken neil in if they’d known he was the son of a mob boss!!’

uhhhhh…

i don’t know how to tell u this buddy

-

dude i just cannot stop think about the whole new world of fanfics we’re gonna get now that tsc has come out like the aftg universe is expanding and becoming more detailed it’s gonna be crazy

chapter 14!!!

-

Jean eyed him. “For what purpose?” ​Jeremy looked to the ceiling for patience. “For fun.” ​Jean sighed as if Jeremy was the one being unreasonable.

oh jean we’ll get there eventually

-

Jean was a starving dog on a short chain who’d learned years ago not to bite back.

OH MY FUCKING GOD GIVE ME PEACE

MY CHEST IS ACHING AT THIS METAPHOR

-

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP THE PARALLELS ARE DESTROYING ME I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE

“You are Jean Moreau. Your place is here with me, with us. I’m your captain. You’re my partner. We’re supposed to be doing this together, aren’t we? Stop leaving me behind. Look at me.”

-

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that he hurt you, I’m sorry that you’re still afraid to talk about it, and I’m sorry that you think I’ll never understand. I’m sorry that he tricked you into thinking you deserved it. But I’m not sorry he’s gone. I can’t be.”

“Neither am I.”

TEAR MY HEART OUT AND STOMP ON IT NORA JESUS CHRIST

-

everytime one of the trojans says ‘we’re here to listen whenever your ready to talk and open up to us’ and then they go and demand he tell them every secret he’s ever kept

-

kevin and jeans relationship in this book is so fucking well written, it’s tearing me apart and giving me so much life

they have so much shared trauma and the relationship is so complex but they understand eachother so deeply

He is not used to having a voice, and he has never had power. I cannot promise he will ever talk to you.” ​“I will wait as long as it takes,”

“Be careful with it,” Kevin said. “Be careful with him.”

-

“Night practices with Andrew and Neil,” Kevin said. ​“Obsessed,” Jeremy

exy fiend kevin day representation

also

“No, Jean is fine. As fine as he can be, anyway. Yes, I know.” (kevin when talking to someone ‘offscreen’) i just know he was talking to neil

-

She crossed the room and leaned over, catching Jean’s head in her hands so she could plant a kiss to the top of his head.

this is the love jean deserves

chapter 15:

“Your fourth line has a smart mouth, Coach,” Jean said. “I was hoping he would bite his tongue off in the fall and save us both some grief in the long run.”

jean i love u

-

Jean wished he had the common sense to shut up,

he’s so me

-

“And keep Kevin’s name out of your ignorant mouth,”

THEYRE SO IMPORTANT TO ME UR HONOUR

-

i keep forgetting that jean only learnt english after he moved into evermore and that kevin probably taught him but i love the subtle little reminders every now and then when he has to clarify a word, like when he has to ask what a ‘floozy’ is and:

due to egregious injuries.” ​Jean didn’t recognize that word, but since Lucas was already running his mouth, he didn’t get a chance to ask.

it’s such a good detail that just adds so much more depth to his character

-

“Permission to break his face, Coach?” Jean asked. ​“Denied,” White said.

SCREAMING

THIS IS SO NEIL AND WYMACK CODED I LOVE IT

-

JEAN MOREAU ON A MOTHERFUCKING MOTORCYCLE HOLY SHIT

catalina alvarez u wonderful human i love u

-

jean realising how big the world is and the fact that he’s explored more of california than any other place he’s been before is making me tear up he never should’ve been kept trapped inside he deserves to see the world

-

So long as she existed as fractured memories, she was safe and small and sheltered.

oh god don’t do this to me

-

Jean gazed out at the endless horizon, feeling small and infinite from one moment to the next.

beautiful, just beautiful, absolutely immaculate

A cool evening breeze. Rainbows. Open roads.

A COOL EVENING BREEZE. RAINBOWS. OPEN ROADS

-

SECOND LAST CHAPTER!!! LETS GOOO

“He is not going to hit you. Okay? We don’t do that here. You said you’d try to do better and that’s enough for us.”

starting off strong

-

You’re one of my kids now.

don’t mind me i’m just sobbing

-

no no no no no no no no no

holy shit no what the fucking fuck

don’t do this to jean rn oh my fucking god i’m sick to my stomach on the verge of fully crying right now

actually dreading reading on right now

-

um ok yeah so i read it and to anyone who hasn’t finished the book yet beware there is a graphic violent scene followed by an intense panic attack in chapter 16 that’s is very difficult to read

i did cry and all i can say is thank fuck for lisinski’s timing

-

Jeremy’s response was low but unhesitating: “I will not look away.” ​“I do not want you to look.” ​It frightened him how much it sounded like a lie,

-

only redeeming part of this chapter is that neil’s back but i’m still in so much shock over what’s just happened that i cant properly appreciate him

chapter 17 the finale:

feeling incredibly somber as i reach the end of the book

please god destroy anyone who has ever hurt jean moreau

-

nora’s really filling in all the plot holes left from aftg - why did nobody question why neil’s hair was dyed after evermore ????? why did nobody question neil being at evernote in the first place???

-

i’m laughing at neil’s map print-outs he’s so uncool, also i keep forgetting this is still meant to be 2007

-

jean-yves moreau oh my fucking god

-

“says who?” Stuart asked. “The dead kid?

stuart hatford u are so funny, is this where neil inherited is sarcasm from?

stuart hatford says fuck riko and so do i

-

Neil shrugged. “Do you have anyone who can take on local work?”

NEIL JOSTEN U ARE MY HERO I LOVE U U BADASS MOTHER FUCKER

-

Neil offered her a disarming smile that would never sit quite right on his face.

devouring these scraps about my boy

-

YOOOO WTF NORA RLLY JUST WANTED TO GIVE JEAN THE WORST FUCKING DAY HE COULD POSSIBLY HAVE HUH?? JUST DROPPED THE FACT THAT HIS SISTER IS DEAD MY POOR BOY

-

Neil filled in the finer details with an ease that would have been impressive to listen to any other day

- yes neil is incredibly smart, thank u jean for confirming to us

-

The only thing left to ask for was something he barely understood: “I want to go home.”

oh the complicated nature of home and one’s sense of belonging that persists throughout these books will never fail to make me feel absolutely everything. nora knows exactly what i want in a book

-

“I can see the kitchen. There should be a door out to where the dumpsters are. We can make it back to the garage from there.”

to be loved by neil josten is to be offered a way to evade the fbi together

-

“Tedious,” Neil said. “I’m trying to eat.”

my hero

Neil waited until he was done before deciding he wanted to finish his drink. Neither agent was impressed with their absolute lack of urgency,

i love u neil josten pls give me ur autograph

Neil, being the person he was, pointed at the fire hydrant adjacent to its front bumper and said, “That’s illegal, just so you know.” ​“Shut up and get in the car.”

i wish neil josten was real

-

He couldn’t fear a government who was so easily infiltrated and manipulated

FUCK THE GOVERNMENT

-

Neil flipped his takeout box open and started eating. “I’m allowed to visit people.”

he’s everything to me 🥰

-

“You’re one to accuse others of intolerable attitudes,” Browning said, and Neil only shrugged indifference.

and—for once—without any of your usual bullshit.”

- browning u love him just like the rest of us don’t lie rn

-

ngl i’m never getting over the fact that jean and neil are the same age like this is crazy to me nora whyd u have to do this i cant cope

-

“The more people I hold onto, the less of a threat I am, because I won’t want to endanger them by acting out.”

oh neil look how far uve come, i’m so proud

-

“Lock your door tonight if it will help, but Grayson will never bother you again.”

THANK U LORD FOR THE BRILLIANT NEIL JOSTEN HES ANSWERED MY PRAYERS U BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL HUMAN IM SO THANKFUL FOR UR PRESENCE

all my favourite bamf! neil fics have him taking out a hit on someone for the benefit of the people he loves and i’m so glad that’s canon

-

i’m going fucjing crazy i didnt think it was possible to love neil anymore than i already do

best friends ❤️

-

jean tearing up and throwing away the notebooks and realising he trusts the trojans and the four of them going to eat one of cats new recipes after they waited up last midnight for him

A COOL EVENING BREEZE RAINBOWS OPEN ROADS AND FRIENDS

!!!!!

I CSNT BELIEVE ITS OVERRRRR I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS HOLY FUCK

[maypiles]

OMG 😱

Found your Jackson Wang reading through hashtags *chefs kiss* 👌 Could u please do a similar reading for NCT Taeyong? His love life? Thank you so much 🙏💓

Ohhhh my god, y’all are really out here summoning me to dive into the personal lives of K-pop royalty AGAIN???" 😭💕 First of all, anon, THANK YOU for finding my Jackson Wang reading through the hashtags and for the chef’s kiss appreciation. That was a whole spiritual novella, and now you’re asking for Taeyong’s love life? ICONIC TASTE. 👌(No cap idk who is that Taeyang yet but I feel it in my bones. ICONIC NONETHELESS) You’re giving me homework, and I love it. Let me light my candles, shuffle my cards, and prepare for whatever chaos spirit decides to drop on me. But like… warning: if this turns into another “secret marriage, betrayal, crying on balconies in Thailand” situation, I’m gonna need a moment to recover. 😩🔥 Stay tuned, babe. Spirit and I are about to serve up some piping hot tea. Let’s see what the cards have to say about your boy Taeyong. 👀✨

🌊🌻TAEYONG'S LOVE LIFE 2025💛☀️

ALRIGHT, BUCKLE UP, PEOPLE, BECAUSE THIS IS ABOUT TO BE A WILD RIDE. We’re diving into NCT Taeyong’s love life for 2025, and let me tell you, his energy? CHAOTICALLY HILARIOUS. This man is out here single as hell ASF but giving "I’m trying, okay?!" vibes, and SPIRIT IS NOT LETTING HIM REST.

🌅🌅🌅🌅

SHUFFLING ENERGY:

First off, as soon as I shuffled the cards, I literally snorted. Spirit straight-up said, "IF HE EVEN HAS A LOVE LIFE." 💀💀 I mean, poor Taeyong is out here scheming like the world’s most timid mastermind, terrified of rejection and past heartbreaks, but also low-key ready to be someone’s romantic knight in shining armor. LIKE SIR, PICK A STRUGGLE. I saw the Five of Cups flash and immediately saw Taeyang standing in front of a seraphim angel (hmm so random.. DON'T JUDGE) and heard, “Shall not fret!” Spirit’s out here acting like his life coach, pushing him to grow a pair (Courage! Boldness! Step up, King!), but he’s out here overthinking.

💛💛💛💛

THIS MAN IS SUCH A ROMANTIC. He’s probably listening to love songs, getting all in his feelings, and I wouldn’t be shocked if Flaming Hot Cheetos by Clairo is on repeat. The lyrics scream "crush phase," and honestly, that’s the vibe. He’s sitting there like, “What if I just… upgraded my love life?” (LMFAO why do I keep thinking about video games? Is he a gamer or into gaming by any chance?) but also dying at the thought of making the first move. Spirit’s like, “TAKE THE CHANCE, BABE. STOP HIDING.”

☀️☀️☀️☀️

CARDS PULLED:

Let’s get to it: World, Ten of Pentacles reversed, Hermit (no kidding), Ace of Wands, Moon reversed, Ten of Swords (ouch), Two of Cups (ooooh), Nine of Wands (the struggle), Queen of Wands reversed (tea?), Chariot reversed (you ain’t going nowhere, King), Six of Cups (nostalgia, much?), Nine of Cups reversed (boohoo vibes), Seven of Swords reversed (spill the truth), Page of Cups (puppy love), Devil (spicy), Ace of Cups (OMG new beginnings?!), Knight of Cups (man’s about to risk it all), Knight of Wands (he’s TRYING, okay?!), and Judgment (this card wouldn’t leave my mind!).

BOTTOM: Justice (karma’s working overtime).

SPLITS: Empress (divine feminine vibes), Emperor (okay, soulmate energy?!), and Six of Pentacles (balance it out, babe).

🌊🌊🌊🌊

THE TEA™:

First of all, this man is hilariously, miserably single right now. He’s in hermit mode, probably journaling and making Pinterest boards about “the love life I deserve.” BUT THEN. THEN. Something sparks in 2025 (Ace of Wands), and it’s like he’s ready to shoot his shot. And guess what? It’s not some random fling—it’s real. Like soulmate potential (Two of Cups). BUT he’s terrified of rejection, of messing up things because that's literally what I heard spirit saying (Five of Cups, Nine of Wands), so he’s overthinking it to death. Taeyong, babe, TAKE A BREATH.

Spirit showed me this blond-haired masculine (which turned out to look 90% like him, BTW. Yes, ik ik I'm that gifted) on some small deserted island during what looks like a reality show??? Imagine gravel, sand, bright weather, and a random banner as tho some sort of a reality show (are we on "Two Days, One Night" vibes or something?). He’s laughing awkwardly, super embarrassed, because the manager said something hilarious. It’s playful, lighthearted, and low-key adorable.

✨✨✨✨

HIS ENERGY:

Y’all, Taeyong’s energy is SO FUNNY and infectiously playful. Like, if this guy is actually this goofy and fun, then this reading SCREAMS accuracy. He’s not just out here “finding love”; he’s doing it with childlike wonder. Spirit’s like, “It’s safe for you to love! Open up, babe!” but also karmic lessons everywhere. Whatever he’s stepping into romantically? It’s about learning, healing, and GROWTH.

🌟🌟🌟🌟

ORACLE CARDS:

This Could Be the One: Spirit is hinting that he’s already met someone who’s The Real Deal™.

Honeymoon: Are they going to meet during a holiday?! THAT ISLAND Y'ALL??! Or is there a dreamy vacation vibe coming?

Playfulness: Like I said, his energy is hilarious and adorable—he’s learning to embrace this lighthearted side because Spirit is URGING him to.

New Love: Spirit says YES to something fresh.

Romantic Feelings: Baby boy’s catching the feels, and it’s so CUTE.

Karmic Lessons, Forgiving, and Learning: Look, this is about healing from his past and stepping into something REAL.

🐠🐬🐠🐬

WHY THIS IS SO SWEET:

Spirit is gently bullying him to open his heart. He’s terrified of past mistakes (Five of Cups, Nine Swords), but this is his karmic lesson: to take a risk. And OMG, the energy of first-stage love. You know that fuzzy, giggly feeling when it’s all butterflies and stolen glances? YEAH, THAT. He’s dipping his toes into romance but probably panicking because its genuineness is so unfamiliar.

🐚🐚🐚🐚

WILD SYNCHRONICITY:

Also, can we talk about how Spirit literally showed me this blond dude in a white hoodie on an island, and it turned out to look exactly like him?! HELLO??? This isn’t even shocking anymore—I once sketched Fyodor Dostoevsky before knowing what he looked like BUT TURNED OUT I ACTUALLY SKETCHED HIM WITH A LETHAL ACCURACY (that was years before I got into spirituality and discovered my gifts), so yeah, my channeling skills are THAT girl. But still, this was wild.

🍨🍨🍨🍨

FINAL NOTES:

Taeyong’s energy is pure chaos but in the best way.

He’s ready to take a leap into love but needs to get over his fears first.

The connection feels karmic and healing, but also sweet and lighthearted.

This reading feels hilariously accurate because of how playful and funny his vibe is. HE'S SUCH A SUNSHINE!

Spirit’s like, “Take a chance, babe—it’s safe for you to love.”

So yeah, 2025 is giving “funny romance with soulmate vibes.” We’re rooting for you, Taeyong! GO GET THAT LOVE! 💖💖

(btw why is the reading so bright I'm not built for this palette but Taeyang's energy is taking over HELP-

OMG ANON LISTEN!!! 😭😭😭 So here’s the tea: I am definitely gonna check this NCT Taeyong out because HIS ENERGY??? UNHINGEDLY HILARIOUS AND HEARTWARMING. Is he an enfp?? Like, Spirit literally hit me with the giggle stick while channeling his love life, and I’m sitting here wondering HOW IS THIS MAN SO ENDLESSLY CHAOTIC AND ENDEARING AT THE SAME TIME???

I left K-pop behind like a distant relic of my youth, years ago, completely dusted and done. BUT THIS ENERGY??? I’m terrified I’m gonna Stan him soon. My retirement from the K-pop world might be OVER. 😭😭💕

Anon, if this reading is as accurate as it feels, I’m about to become his No. 1 fan. HOW IS THIS REAL?? Like, send prayers because I can already hear “Stan Taeyong” whispering in my subconscious. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! 😭😭😭💓

HOLY MOTHER OF EVERYTHING THATS UNDER THE HEAVENS 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Okay, like, hear me out—I CANNOT WITH THIS!!! NO WAY this reading isn’t the most accurate thing ever because what?? WHAT?!?! I literally went on Pinterest, right, just to get some pics of this Taeyong from NCT for the Tumblr post. AND THEN I SEE IT. I see it!!! HE HAS TATTOOS AND ONE LOOKS LIKE AN ANGEL??? 😱 EXCUSE ME, WHAT?? Is this why I literally channeled this guy earlier standing in front of a SERAPHIM ANGEL bathed in golden light, and this angel was telling him “You shall not fret”???? I’m absolutely screaming right now. Like, seriously—how is that a coincidence??? THAT'S DIVINE GUIDANCE, PROTECTION, AND BLESSINGS. BUT WAIT, there’s more. I found PICTURES of this Taeyong with blond hair, on an island, in the brightest of sunlight, wearing WHITE SHORTS. (Okay, close enough. Very close, Spirit. I see you.) AND THEN—AND THEN—out of nowhere, KRIS WU FLASHES in my mind’s eye, and I’m like “huh, that’s random, who cares??” But NO—turns out Taeyong’s in SUPERM, which has EXO MEMBERS, and I used to LOVE Kris Wu back in the day, so I’m like, WAIT A SECOND, IS SPIRIT TRYING TO TELL ME TAEYONG IS INVOLVED IN SOME WAY WITH EXO??? What’s happening right now, because this is CRAZY???!!! Like seriously, I'm SHOOOOCKED 😭😭😭. Spirit literally knows exactly what it's doing, and I’m here about to become a full-blown Taeyong stan at this point, like there’s no going back now. This is absolutely mind-blowing. I’m so shook I can't even breathe.

The umpteenth edit before posting:

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭 WHAT?? NO. THERE'S NO WAY!! So I’m over here, right, I found this pic of Taeyong's tattoos—literally DROPPED MY JAW, because I’m over here trying to connect it with the whole seraphim angel I channeled earlier. And then I literally look at the COMMENTS on the pic, AND WHAT DO I SEE?? A FREAKING 111 in the comments!! 😱 LIKE WHAT??? WHAT??? HOW IS THIS EVEN REAL?? 111, the angel number, like this was the universe giving me a freaking confirmation that everything I was channeling was spot-on? I’m literally losing my mind right now. I'm over here connecting dots I didn’t even know needed to be connected, and spirit is just THROWING signs at me like “Here, have this, and this, and this!” I'm screaming, I’m laughing, I can’t even—SPIRIT KNOWS WHAT IT’S DOING!!! 😭😭😭 I cannot. This reading is like a whole divine conspiracy happening right before my eyes, and I’m just HERE for it. There's no way in hell this is a coincidence. NO WAY.

It's official: I WILL NEVER RECOVER—

*dies*

[angeleirene]

I’ve been watching Barbie again, it’s been a day, and I’m gonna let myself get melancholy for a second.

Y’all remember Kate McKinnon’s ‘Weird Barbie’? Cause I fucking love and relate to her.

According to their Barbie lore, she was the most beautiful Barbie till a kid played too hard with her. Her hair was cut, burnt. Her face scratched and painted on. Her legs stretched to the extremes, till she’s almost always in the splits. As a result she was then ostracised from her community, from Barbieland. She lives alone in the mountain, she has no roles in the community, she barely comes down to town because as the Barbies said: you have to GO see weird Barbie, she doesn’t come over.

They call her ‘Weird Barbie’ both behind her back and also to her face. Stereotypical Barbie is derisive of her, she screams at the mere prospect of turning out like Weird Barbie. And then later on, she legit says “I’m just like you now, Ugly and Unwanted”, AT her. By literally all accounts she’s an outcast.

And you you what I fucking love about that? She doesn’t resent them. I’m fact, she doesn’t love them any less.

Much like how her being ‘Weird Barbie’ is common knowledge to the Barbies, It’s also common knowledge that when you’re malfunctioning or having trouble you go to Weird Barbie for help. They almost expect to receive it, which suggests she’s never actually turned anyone down from asking.

Then we see her interact with our Barbie, with Stereotypical Barbie and she’s no less loving. Margot arrives and she immediately welcomes her in, she listens to her problem. She’s kind and loving, uses affectionate terms (sidenote, she’s rekindled my love for the term BabyGirl), as well as actively using her knowledge and experience to help Margot full force. Also offers her the illusion of choice just to make the decision easier on Margot, more than once, to make the experience easier.

Even when Barbie screams in her face at the idea that they’d ever be the same or similar, she doesn’t get angry or defensive. She just frowns at the reality of others thoughts about her, but even takes the brunt of the blame from Margot “nah, I set myself up for that one”. Furthermore when they part, she tenderly holds Margot’s chin, wishing her luck, telling her “I Love You”.

She was worried, loved and believed in Barbie.

Then the Patriarchy happens and she doubles down. She goes full pink jumpsuit lesbian guerrilla warrior, she picks up Margot during her existential crisis and houses her, tries to help her, even if she couldn’t find an answer herself. Then America Ferrera, Sasha and Allen arrive and HOLY SHIT WE LEARN SO MUCH!

- She welcomes them in too, just as happy and without a hint of resentment or worry!

- She’s HOUSING THE DISCONTINUED TOYS! Sugar Daddy Ken! Magic Earring Ken! Skipper! Barbie Video Girl! Everyone else who’s been truly outcasted and practically exiled from Barbieland she jumped at the chance to house and protect!

- Even Nobel Prize winning Barbie she grabbed and tried everything she could to help her! To help all of them! The second the Patriarchy arrived she wasted no time to try and deprogram the Barbies and protect them from literal hell!

AND SHE DID! WITHOUT ANY EXPECTATION OF THANKS, OR APPRECIATION! She did so with the sole explicit hope of protecting a community of women she loved, irregardless of wether or not they loved her.

Ultimately she did get some of the desperately deserved attention she more than had earned, but she would’ve done it regardless. It leaves us with the character of a woman, who’s been hurt by extenuating circumstances way beyond her control (she was being played with), and who much like in real life, was excommunicated for the scars that said situation left. The movie doesn’t treat “being played with too hard” as trauma, but the parallel is there.

A woman who was hurt and scarred by her life experiences, which made her something different than what her society expected or accepted of her. She’s someone who’s learnt hard truths; Cellulite, nudity, pain, the patriarchy, etc. she is the wisest of them all in that sense, and who knows how much of that came from the trauma, or how much of that she learnt just to be able to help her community. Who knows how much she made her house, collected her knowledge, and built her maps and resources just to help other Barbies that might go through something similar, help them handle it better than she could.

I’m trying to verbalise it and it frustrates me that I can’t do it in a way that doesn’t feel circular but holy fudge nuggets is that both cool and heavy.

And while I can’t pretend I’ve suffered much, or been as blatantly and brutally treated as her, I do relate on some level. I’m in my early 20s (not gonna give specific age cause online) and I’ve always felt and been an outcast. Gay progressive atheist from a Christocatholic conservative Latin American country to start. Starting to build a life in my birth city and then moved at age 4. Everyone else’s families knew each other better, or longer.

Bullied ages 5 to 11. At the time it really didn’t register, and to some extent I still don’t let harassment get to me, but in reflection it was. Fuck I had to be sent on errands for the teacher once just so my entire class could get a talk on bullying and harassment and to not to. Guess who was the elephant in the room but not in the room. 7/8 year olds spill secrets easy. Then we moved again, 14k kilometres away.

Now it was a new continent, a new language. I spent 6 months in one school before moving to the next one, then another year and a half before changing programs from an English intensive program to just basic High School. Then Uni. And to add to all of that, while undiagnosed because it’s expensive, the odds I’m neurodivergent are a coin’s toss or better. And at every stage it’s felt like I’m just watching other people have friendships, through an invisible wall, trying hard to connect to them but somehow never managing.

I was the type of kid and am the type of person that’s very much touch starved, yet fucking terrified of initiating contact because if I do and it’s rejected, then It becomes clear I’m unwanted. So not doing so and keeping the mystery keeps up the hope. The type of person who sees and saw a birthday invitation as a gift in it of itself, specially if not everyone in the class was invited because then maybe I wasn’t a pity invite. Maybe then I was invited because I’m wanted, not because everyone’s invited and it would be rude to exclude me.

Yet who also is terrified of throwing a birthday party and hasn’t had one since I was 11 for a myriad of reasons: Maybe someone I thought was a friend isnt and they make it known then. Or maybe other people see the weirdo I am and leave. Or maybe because my family’s never exactly been well off, but most others were. And so I’d see other kid’s birthdays with balloons, custom cakes, party favours up the walls, games, etc. and yet who’s last birthday party consisted of a soccer ball, a grocery store cake, and bootleg video games (Latin America). And who now sees people my age throw parties in private hotel event rooms, with party buses, bar tabs in the 4 digits, tailor made cakes and special outfits for the day, while that alone would destroy my family financially. Doesn’t help that I managed to get into a Uni course packed with the loaded rich kids.

So there’s so much shame to everything, to being different, to being less, where there really shouldn’t be. So much fear of being seen, yet a desperate want to be held. And so much guilt to even make these feelings known to the people I care about because my emotional problems shouldn’t become theirs. My parents did and do that with me, but that’s a whole different rant. To the point I’m writing and posting this almost with the goal of screaming into the void where nobody can hear it, but with the hope maybe someone does.

And on the same note that I kind of relate to weird Barbie I also admire her. I admire her strength upon adversity, I admire her unconditional love to the other Barbies, and I admire how hard she tries to help everyone else. Another aspect I’m right now paralleling with my degree, hoping that maybe since I understand some of this pain, I can meet others with similar experiences and tell them all the things I wish someone told me. To give them all the things that I’m trying to give myself. That maybe if I am broken, I can make sure they’re not.

This post doesn’t really have a conclusion, just that Weird Barbie is fucking amazing and we all both need a Weird Barbie in our lives, but also remember that Weird Barbie has feelings too, and she deserves to be heard, deserves to be loved too.

[not-goldy]

not saying this in a mean way but tae had become really mature until 2021 where he started becoming childish again I adore him so much but I’m not gonna see past his flaws

it’s ironic that he had friendcation with the wooga where he hadn’t invited anyone but he expects jikook to invite him on their personal projects and to express hurt over not being invited is kinda crazy 😭😭it’s not like it’s just a trip it’s also their show I don’t understand why one would be upset about not being included it’s not like they’re doing charity

I was a Little upset at ot7 armys also not taking Jikook as a due but wanting to include everyone and their mamas bc they didn’t wanna look like shippers and now you’ll see even the biggest army accs only acknowledging vmk in ays and NOTHING else

TAE does a similar thing by including himself in ays “I can’t let you two do this without me” I wouldn’t have been mad about this if he contributed anything to the show but he literally sat all by himself looking bored and annoyed half the time and even jikooks reaction to his presence was telling

If you see their commentary in jeju jikook were talking and he’s just side eyeing and looking at the staff bc he has no clue what to do he just inserted himself in the show for nothing and now they’re all receiving hate but more than the other two it’s jm who’s receiving hate and armys just turn a blind eye to it instead focusing on the hate TAE is getting (which is not even a percentage of what jm is being told and since a very long time) I don’t think it’s wrong to acknowledge armys lack of moving for reporting Jm and even nj antis and their dismissal for jikook as a duo for some reason

He is on a personal growth journey and growth ebbs and flows so that's very normal if you ask me.

2. I don't think it's fair to compare his activities with the Wooga Squad with his activities with Jikook.

If the Wooga Squad went on a trip without inviting Taehyung and he said he was hurt no one would make a big deal out of it and every one would understand why that would be hurtful- he is part of the Wooga Squad. You don't have a Wooga Squad without V in it. Does that make sense?

Similarly, he is part of a group involving Jimin and Jungkook called the maknae line, Vminkook. So sometimes when he says he feels left out it's because he is left out of his Vminkook squad.

I think people need to start seeing Vminkook as a squad too like they see Wooga or even JM's or JK's other friendship groups.

We shouldn't gaslight him and make him feel as if he is all in his head about Vminkook. Those three are a three way friendship group.

3. I think he went after he discovered Jikook had invited other people to the trip but him. If they had thrown an open invite to the members to come along for that trip, it removes any Jikook me time from the situation don't you think? It's not so private if they themselves had invited other members.

4. The only issue here is he hadn't specifically been invited and he went any way- just like Jimin showed up to his live when he had specifically requested Jungkook to be there.

Let's not be too harsh on him now I beg.

I get that we wanna have conversations about these things but let's be circumspect.

That said your point and opinion is totally valid too💜

[candycryptids]

hewwooo tuesday here's a silly little question for you since your "check it out, frogs!!" blog title always delights me: how do each of your characters feel about frogs? 👀

I *love* Frogs, but how do the blorbeans feel about em...? Well... I had to really think about it TTuTT BUT! Chuu favors mechanical creatures over flesh 'n blood ones, and while her getting to the First is ambiguous and mysterious (being a non-wol, I just try not to think about it too much) She DOES... love the Dwarven Mecha frogs. And. The biggest frog of them all... Formi.... <3 …. So she doesn’t care for frogs much. She has sent Tuesday out frog catching for alchemical ingredients though….

Colette... Doesn't have any feelings this way or that about frogs, really. They're small, they're kinda slimey? but mostly they're just, very small. Except Gigantoads, I suppose, but those are a toad, and decidedly less slimey, by virture of being a toad. The ambivalence remains though! They're not that tricky to fight so long as you know how to wriggle out of their tongue grasp. (I did... take some frog-related Colette pictures tho >:3 I'm just gonna, post em a bit later, since the theme got away from me) Gigantoads make for a decent enough meal so long as you prep the meat right :T the legs are the most edible part yk.

Ishi is much more fond of Poro Roggo's, Matoya's froggy familiars. They're wearing LITTLE HATS ! They wave little canes! They're quite frankly adorable and they have little croaking voices. What's not to enjoy? (And also, there's something really nice about being out in the marshes of Mor Dhona and finding a little frog instead of a Morbol ready to stink bomb you, HAH)

Tuesday shivers when he thinks about frogs (knows the difference between a frog and a toad, still pictures a Gigantoad first, and does not much love being yanked mid-cast from his Ley lines into body slamming range.) Finds just a regular little frog endearing and will get down in the mud and muck to look at it though. Is especially fascinated by frogs that stick to things like leaves and trees and their camouflages uwu He’s the one who likely knows the most about frogs, and would gladly tell you more about them. Probably compares information with Erenville, if they ever meet up in non-life-threatening-situations.

Tangy finds them fun ! If she’s on a walk or a run or an errand and it’s drizzly and she sees a little frog hop across the pathway there’s literally 0 inhibitions in her body that stop her from also hopping or skipping for at least a minute (still on her way, but a frogs leap is so charming. They’re like tiny dragoons! She points this similarity out to Estinien once. Krile laughs, Estinien looks constipated- you know the face.) She also has a weird compulsion to put them into her mouth, though, so if she catches one….. make sure it’s not poisonous. She doesn’t even plan to eat it! They just look like they would fit perfectly in her kitty jaws (she is sometimes correct).

Mochiie had to get used to frog song when he moved to Gridania. The rivers and lakes and greenery abounding let the little critters thrive in a way they don’t particularly on the Steppe. …. He comes around to finding it relaxing and feels uneasy when he doesn’t hear them anymore lmfao. In non-WoL au’s, probably sometimes tasks adventurer’s with catching frogs for alchemical ingredients OR to bring back to the pond he’s been carefully maintaining to encourage the little beepers to live in it. (Btw, his favorite frog singers are the Pobblebonk or Banjo Frog [YT Link], and the Pacific Chorus Frog [YT Link] 🥰)

Levraut…. I’m still not sure. 🤔 I think he’d like them, but he wouldn’t feel strongly about them. He WOULD eat them though. As would Colette and Mochi… I mentioned Tangy liked to stick them in her mouth but actually eating them seems like a waste, since she’s so big and they’re so small. Like eating a blueberry. I can say his favorite frogs would be the Blue Jeans Poison Frog, for their striking jackets of warning colors, and the desert rain frog, whose perfect spherical nature and grumpy face is endearing.

[razorblade180]

OC most likely

Just a random vote on who is most likely to do or become something

Carmine:This is going to get ugly.

Most likely to curse at a child

Everyone: Mona. Next.

Mona:Hold on! Can we not sound so certain about- fuck it, next one…

Most likely to betray someone

Nick:Are we talking trust? Because…

Valerie: I apologized!

Sienna: It’s me. Comes with the job.

Peach:Sounds like a shit job…

Most likely to succeed in world domination

……..

Aero:Carmine.

Carmine:How dare you!

Aero:It doesn’t say you are likely to do it, but success rate.

Eliza:Nah I think it’s Nick and Summer. They think a little too much and have banks for their banks.

Nick:It’s our world now.

Summer:You’re just living in it.

Most likely to survive anything

Lucas:I see the future so….

Veronica:Counterpoint, *walks through him*

Kovu:That’s a great argument. Carmine is built different though.

Mona:That bitch gets poisoned more often than I get hungover. It’s impressive but I’m sure her liver hates it.

Carmine:Fuck you, but you’re not wrong. I’m gonna agree with Veronica.

Most likely to turn evil

Summer:……Technically-

Everyone:No.

Summer:Fine, pick me! All I’m saying is Mona is right there.

Carmine:Oh she’s runner up.

Mona:Biiiiiiiiiiitch.

Most likely to help in any situation

Yujin: Serenity!

Serenity:Try again.

Tenzen:Really?

Serenity: I’m a nice person but I’m not a hero. Just an actress who likes good vibes.

Peach:Tenzen.

Jacquelyn:I was gonna say you. Something about you feels wise beyond your years.

Peach:Trauma.

Jael:What flavor?

Peach:The survivors guilt kind.

Everyone:Yeah it’s you. *claps*

Peach:…Y’all are lucky I’m well adjusted.

Most likely to start a fire

Mona: I hate this game.

Nick:Eliza. Her magic training is wild.

Sparrow:Her lightning hit my boat, twice.

Eliza:If I accept can we move on?

Most likely to do whatever it takes no matter

Sienna:This is a three way tie in my eyes. My little sister goes the distance. Nick and Carmine share a similar energy in my eyes.

Lucas:I was going to say Summer.

Summer:I’m flattered, but I’ve seen my brother tear muscle going for victory.

Nick:You make it sound like I knew it would happen.

Valerie:Everyone told you not to go for the shot because you were overextending.

Nick:And who decided that was the case? I know my body.

Aero:You guys are missing the point. Carmine, would you end my life if I truly became evil or a danger to your family.

Carmine:I wouldn’t have to. I can beat you in a fight. If I had to kill you then I’m a failure as a friend, let alone a huntress.

Aero:It’s a hypothetical. It’s my life or your brother’s.

Carmine:….I’d mourn you. I hope you know that.

Everyone:Wow….

Most likely to get their heartbroken

Everyone: *looks at Veronica and Nick*

Veronica:I’m not discussing this.

Nick:Me neither. Ask Valerie.

Valerie:I…deserve that.

Most likely to die for their beliefs

Yujin:Well this got heavy…

Jacquelyn:We all understand it’s me, right? Have you all met my daughters; specifically the one with red hair and goat horns? Remind you of anyone!?

Levi:Unfortunately.

Jael: Your just mad your mother can’t fight her own battles.

Carmine:That’s what I’ve been saying!

Kovu:What if we all stopped disrespecting parents regardless of universes!?

Most likely to blend into the crowd

Peach:Oooo that’s a tough one.

Sienna:I’m literally a spy.

Jacquelyn:I’m a maiden!

Canary:I haven’t spoken up until now.

……

Everyone:Canary.

[matrixwhore]

iwtv ep 3 rewatch thoughts

Louis: I don’t want you kill people anymore, there it is.

Lestat: A fish that doesn’t swim. A bird refusing to fly.

I’m borrowing this statement to use for Louis in this moment - I believe this is when Lestat diagnoses Louis with hysteria.

In this scene the power imbalance between them becomes defined more by patriarchal gender dynamics. Lestat dives into a more rigid paternalistic approach when dealing with what he perceives to be Louis’ irrational shame of being a vampire and going against his very nature despite what Lestat has been trying to teach him. This reading of their relationship is intentional. so much so that while he says this the focus of the camera pans out to frame a shot of Antoinette walking past and there’s a parallel shot of Louis and Lestat sitting at a table next to another couple, a man and a woman who are presumably husband and wife, where both husbands’ (Lestat and the man) gazes follow after Antoinette and Louis and the wife literally notice at the same time. This is them (as in the writers etc. etc.) being really over handed about what they’re implying about Loustat’s relationship/marriage/companionship moving forward. Louis is literally sitting on the same side the wife is sitting and Lestat the husband. Antoinette poses a very similar threat to both Louis and the wife who is a bw (only her black husband could die behind Antoinette, at worst, given the era).

For what it’s worth (not much) I don’t think Lestat is actively plotting in the sense of being aware that he is forcing a gendered hat on Louis that doesn’t fit. I think he believes that this is a role Louis is suited for, especially if he’s drawing from the trauma of his relationship with his mother and the ways Louis might remind him of her. What I mean by that is his focus is on the front he see that Louis is putting on. He thinks he’s removing the offending hat Louis is, for a reason he can’t understand (and won’t bother to), clinging to. I think he believes the final frontier of Louis’ problems is simply submitting to his vampire nature (and to him lbfr) which i talked about in the tenor scene. (He doesn’t realize he hasn’t escaped the confines of humanity, he just benefits from them more in a way that lends to his ability to live as if they don’t apply to him)

Louis’ acting like he’s not a vampire and Lestat likens this to his business “a cover, an illusion to throw off the scent of the dogs.” The section of the Azalea where they are engaging in “polite conversation,” where the word “vampire” is off limits is a front for the nefarious business of trafficking women where consumption of bodies is allowed as long as Louis can separate himself from it. Pimping hidden in the shadows of the Azalea, the way he seeks to hide his vampirism in the shadows of his humanity. Bluffing is fine in a game of poker against humans Lestat believes is beneath him—against human’s he naively believes he elevated Louis above by giving him the dark gift—but it’s no way to live as a Vampire and it’s no way to love Lestat.

This is most offensive to Lestat, and I don’t doubt concerning given the impact it will have on Louis. Lestat: “You’re going to struggle. I fear for the feline population of New Orleans.”

He’s being really snarky about this, but I believe he means it. Louis’ hunger will not be satiated by eating cats or other small animals. He will be weakened physically and mentally by it. Lestat drives this point in by saying he’s gonna render them extinct in the area, behind this reluctance to kill or feed from humans. Lestat fails to see Louis is trying to regain some semblance of control over his life where he has very little control over how so many things are playing out against his favor even with the success of the Azalea which is unstable. There’s also the situation with his family. The fact that he has to kill to survive but doesn’t want to. the fact that he believes himself already damned, but still full of shame and guilt. Then as things worsen between him and Lestat etc. etc. He needs something to control.

Lestat sees this as more than just a moral quandary just not in the way it could have lent to the understanding of Louis so much as it clearly imo pokes at Lestat’s insecurities about whether he can be loved for who he is fully. He sees himself as above humanity, fully immersed in being a vampire and proud too and Louis is rejecting that so in a way, to Lestat, he’s rejecting him and the dark gift he’s given. He thinks he’s being played the fool. (“I can pretend the fool”). Louis agreed to all these things and now he’s switching up and holding out. (marriage contract etc. etc.) Lestat overcorrects so egregiously he’s the agent to his own fear being realized—the threat of Louis leaving him.

I don’t think i’m saying anything of a revelation to say Lestat can stop himself from acting out. I don’t think it’s anything new to say he has a clear need and demand for attention. He immediately follows this up with causing a scene and performing. He hops on stage and plays the piano for and with the people of the Azalea—what Louis seems more inclined to give his time and energy to rather then enjoying being a vampire and his new life with Lestat. Plus It’s not like it doesn’t work a little. Louis’ in 2020 in Dubai with a whole new husband crediting his white ex for something i doubt he actually was the catalyst for. idk I have my doubts about his claim about the Wolverine Blues. I think Danny being openly and immediately doubtful, as far as to play it, was intentional in making us question that as well imo.

He does this again tho. In part because it sort of worked in his favor this time especially since he threw the scent of this being what he does when he feels threatened (which i believe to be the main reason he does it again) to he was helping Louis out bc the pianist was gonna leave Louis. An interesting redirection considering this is a reaction to the fear that Louis will leave him. He’s playing poker. and he sort of* won this hand. So yeah he does it again, but more manically, later on with Louis’ preference of military men (i just know he thought about that sailor at the bar and it sent him over the edge) when he sees Louis would rather let an old flame do him “some face” (🤭) and eat a dog than fuck him and feed with him. but let’s not jump ahead. let’s let ep3 seduce us as Louis has been seduced!!!

antoinette brown said she gone be here all night y’all she really claimed the eternal night from jump. you can see the moment Lestat gets the idea to torment Louis with the “rotisserie chicken” (🤭 anon you will always be famous). She passed by and he turned so quick to Louis all bright eyed like “you’re going to struggle” ☹️ knowing he gonna be the agent of that particular struggle.

*i say sort of bc Louis is impressed by the scene he created when he starts playing, and it probably smoothed things over that night, but he doesn’t budge on his disordered eating bc that’s not how it works Lestat!!!! (“did i forget to mention i’m terrible at this game” or something to that effect)

[everythingdenied]

Hello! Love ur blog! Lil blurb idea - cos I’m in a similar situation - Ross helping his gf prepare for her “normal” job doing a big pitch to get a client and she’s all nervous….

hihihi bff <3 i hope whatever's going on work wise goes super well for u!!! good luck bb and endlessly proud no matter what!!! anyway's ross would literally be the cutest in this situation he is so domestic bf this is perfect!!

"Shit, Ross. I don't think I can do this" I huffed as I tripped over my words once again, frustratedly throwing the stack of papers in my hand onto the coffee table. "I think I'm just gonna call in sick or something."

From his cosy spot on the sofa, Ross shook his head, watching me with a look of concern as I anxiously paced around the living room, checking the time on my phone once more.

"No, no, no. Don't be silly. You're doing great. C'mon, you've got like...ten minutes. Just start from the beginning again, yeah?"

Ever the optimist, Ross shot me an encouraging smile, gingerly picking the papers up from the table and holding them out to me. However, I didn't so much as move, nervously chewing my bottom lip as I stared at the thick wad of paper in his hand as if they were a threat to me. "I-" My vision became blurred as I felt the familiar sting of tears tears pricking my eyes, my arms falling to my side limply. "Fuck. I can't..."

A sob wracked my body as I stood dumbly in the middle of the room, feeling my heart thump against my chest at the very prospect of today's big pitch. Taking instant notice of my upset, Ross quickly discarded the paper, brows knitting together empathetically.

"Oh, love" He crooned sweetly, invitingly holding his arms out to me. "C'mere, you..."

Without wasting so much as a second, I crawled into his embrace, settling my self on his lap as I burrowed my head into his cable-knit jumper, the familiar scent of his detergent providing me some solace. He engulfed me in a tight hug, being extra careful not to crease the blouse I'd spent so long picking out earlier this morning as I sobbed into his chest, my tears dampening his sweater.

"S-sorry..." I whimpered apologetically, voice slightly muffled. "Know I'm being stupid. It's j-just a pitch but..."

"Hey, shh." Ross cut me off, pressing a saccharine kiss to my forehead as his hand rubbed my bag comfortingly, swaddling me in his big arms like a baby. "Don't say that. Course you're not being stupid. This is a really big day for your career. S'completely fine to be scared."

My lip wobbled as I gazed up at my boyfriend through bleary eyes, wondering exactly what good deed I'd done in a past life to deserve the man before me. He smiled softly, delicately trailing the pads of his fingers up and down my spine.

"Sayin' that though; it's not worth getting yourself all worked up for, lovey. S'pecially when I know for a fact you're gonna smash it." He continued.

"But what if I...what if I completely fuck it up?" I sniffled.

Ross shook his head, dismissing such a notion as I curled up on his lap, wiping my eyes with the back of my sleeve.

"Babe...I've seen how hard you work. Have to practically drag you away from that bloody laptop of yours most nights." He scolded playfully as he pressed his finger to the tip of my nose, drawing a half hearted chuckle from my lips. "You're not gonna fuck it up. I promise."

"A-are you sure?"

Ross nodded his head confidently, tilting my head upwards to tenderly kiss the salty tears beading my lips.

"I'm sure" He hummed. "You're gonna walk in there, looking all sexy and business-y in your suit, and you're gonna blow their fuckin' socks off. Pinky promise."

He held his pinky finger out to me, which was comically larger than my own, and wrapped it around mine, unable to hide the smile creeping onto his face as I let out a soft giggle, sniffing back the last of my tears.

"There' we go. There's that gorgeous smile." Ross chuckled teasingly, giving me one last peck as he tapped my hip. "Now Let's get you all cleaned up and then I'll drive you to work, yeah? Even stop at starbucks on the way if you want. Sound like a plan?"

[chairteeth]

Fun fact, Nemu is a sadist

So you see Papa I know I’m gonna need screenshots for this one but HEAR ME OUT. I have actual arguments for this. There’s gonna be a lot of screenshots though, because I feel like in this case it’s a bit more overt once you look at it through this lens. This isn’t so much an essay as something similar to that time I went on a short rant about how Touka acts like a cat but here you go.

Editing Note: The Ao3 version of this essay is superior, I recommend it more than the post.

I’m gonna be very blunt. Nemu is a sadist. An extremely picky sadist that goes from mild to borderline disturbing, but a sadist nonetheless. Girlie has hella concerning moments. There’s the part about enjoying seeing people in pain, yes, particularly pain caused by her (directly or indirectly), but it’s more complex than that. It’s relishing one’s power over others. It’s enjoying when others are humiliated. Enjoying putting people in messed up positions and situations, watching or forcing them to hurt themselves or their loved ones, Sisyphean tasks, etc. There’s pretty terrifying potential to what she would be capable of if encouraged, considering her extensive historical and literary knowledge (looking at you, Madness of Hercules Shizuka. If you know you know).

As for the reasons, well, it makes sense with her background and as a coping mechanism, a way to vent. Sadism most often originates from feeling powerless in daily life, general powerlessness/lack of power even over the self, and repressed anger/frustration, so it tracks with what we know about Nemu. And yes, this happens since childhood. I’m gonna explain my arguments for the intense ‘Nemu is a sadist’ interpretation I have, don’t you worry, and there will be screenshots galore for once!

Let’s start with the mildest stuff. Which is actually Touka-related. Nemu really enjoys getting a reaction out of Touka, mainly earlier in their relationship (when she wasn’t Irreversibly Whipped)—though bits of it remain. This manifests in all of the teasing and the purposeful “humiliation” through things like games (the card game scene comes to mind). It’s easy too, because Touka is so extremely reactive. Here’s a very old example of this much milder manifestation, the card game scene in question:

Touka then starts crying (you can see the tears) because she’d mapped out the entire game and memorized Nemu’s cards and Nemu truly had no reason to pull this move. Leading to this response from Nemu:

Going to another side of things, the funny (/s) humiliation uwasa should not be overlooked. I know I haven’t posted my document where I hyperoveranalyze what each and every one of Nemu’s uwasa means (because it is incredibly disturbing in this raw form), HOWEVER, the Rumor of the Cemetery Banquet Feast is just one of multiple rumors that adds to this specific topic. And also uh the Fashion Monster. There are many, many things that I can gleam from the latter existing in the first place, but it’s described as:

“A Rumor that appears before confident, dressed up girls. It drags its victims into an alley, and if the Rumor isn’t told it looks stylish, it will strip off the victim’s clothes.”

Thank you Nemu, thank you so much. I don’t think I have to say anything for you to see why this applies to the sadist thing. As for the Rumor of the Cemetery Banquet Feast:

“My, have you heard? Who’d you hear it from? The Cemetery Banquet, and the rumor thereof! Fated rivals, arguing friends– if you want everyone to get along, then this Rumor is for you! Anyone who reads its invitation will be guided to the pre-banquet proving grounds. If– and only if– you can make the banquet lively, then you pass! And you’ll be invited up to Paradise, complete with kindly parting words. But if you plan to participate, you’d better take great care! If you fall short of proving yourself, you’ll literally fall into the underworld, to boot. It’s a rumor that ALL of the temple’s supporters are talking about. C’mon now, let’s liven things up!”

And the way the event goes is… Well. 

The Rumor greets its “attendees” in a kind, heavenly voice, casually “forgives” (brushes off) their attempts to break its rules, and gives gentle encouragement (plus painfully-gentle critique) as they resort to performing various party tricks to satisfy it. Once they satisfy the Rumor by setting aside both their pride and their mutual animosities, it escorts them to the top of its pagoda in a giant, golden hand… where they literally pass on to the afterlife.

Thank you Nemu, thank you so much. I think you see where I’m coming from here. As for some of the other things I mentioned at the start, well, there’s this part of Arc 1 Chapter 8:

She truly does speak in the cultiest possible way. Her dialogue is far more cult leader-like than Alina's or Touka's. There's also this part:

Doesn’t she look quite pleased… These are pretty much one after another. But okay fine, here’s a couple from Chapter 9:

Really. Really look at this through the sadism lens. She also giggles while telling the others that they’ve reached their limit right after Kanagi and especially Tsuruno expresses feeling sick and heavy and in pain. Which… is a worse reaction than Touka’s, that’s for sure. What’s fascinating is that in her MGS, Nemu seems to care the most about the Feathers.

As for my final example, I’m just gonna leave a bunch of screenshots from Uwasa Tsuruno’s MGS here. Pay attention to the way Nemu speaks to Tsuruno and the words she chooses to use (it'd be a lot more obvious if Nemu was older than Tsuruno probably):

So in closing. Nemu Hiiragi is a sadist. Funny venting mechanism you’ve got right there, I sure hope it won’t lead to anything more questionable than you’ve already done. Good luck with your wife, Touka, have fun.

[featheredfoxboi]

Ok ok ok so I don’t usually post LS stuff on main but holy shit.

Martyn posted in response to someone asking if he’d give hints to the next series by saying this (read image at bottom of post)

And holy shit if it’s another double life situation or anything remotely close to that it only further adds to my theory that history is gonna repeat itself as the watchers try to regain power.

My theory goes as follows (except it’s in the exact words I used when I first rambled about it to my friend cos I’m lazy so I copy pasted) :

“Thinking about how in secret life, the series where the watchers were the most involved they’d been in ANY life series, everything went to shambles for the watchers. It’s as if they got too big for their boots, think about it.

The one series where they get to literally boss everyone around, getting to put them in pain if they fail to follow orders, and rewarding them with hearts if they succeed in following them, and those hearts just mean the players stay longer, more entertainment for the watchers. So, regardless of if people fail their task or not, it’s a win win for the watchers. Right?

But… it’s not. You see, I think secret life was the season where the watchers got too greedy. Because, while yes, the tasks thing would absolutely work in their favour… everything else they’d worked for and planned fell apart.

Martyn, their main source of entertainment/fun, gave them little to no attention this season.

Scar, who was cursed to lose everything he had in his fifth(?) episode, got a BUNCH of stuff (and hearts) in his fifth(?) episode this season.

Scott, who was cursed to always have ties to the winners of every season, had nothing to do with the winner this time, because scar was alone for the entire duration of this season.

Joel, who was cursed to be driven to insanity from the bloodlust of being red, wasn’t as violent or crazy, because of the more restrictive nature of being a red name this season.

And of course the most notable, Jimmy, who was cursed to always be the first to lose all his lives, was the second to do so this season.

I think the watchers got too cocky, because the moment they tried to take more control, the moment they got greedy, every single curse they cast, every plan they laid, all of it… it just fell apart.

How do I think they’ll progress from this? Well, they could have a massive power trip and try to go even BIGGER then they did in secret life. Do all they can to regain control, stop being so hidden and become more prominent in order to restore their status and power.

ORRRRRRRR

I think they could try to go back to basics, stick to the formulas they knew worked. Perhaps another series with similar principles to that of, sayyy.. limited life, double life, any of the seasons pre-secret life. The games they knew worked for them. Let history repeat itself until they’ve regained power through doing what they KNOW works. Their tried and true methods.”

LIKE HOLY FUCK IF WE GET ANOTHER DOUBLE LIFE STYLE SEASON I WOULD BE SO HAPPY BC MY THEORY WOULD BE SO MUCH MORE ACCURATE AAAAH

[spelllingandthemysteryschool]

(anon who wants to stop time with his sister) rightt its so rude and selfish to not want things to move forward for her but it feels like it happened so much faster than it did for me and now my parents are also movijg out of their house and we will never live in that house again and i probably will only see my sister on holidays and breaks.. anyways thanks for letting me ramble and take care of yourselfff

wait this is insane because i’m in such a similar situation… my family is also probably gonna move from the house in which we currently live because we don’t own it so everything is up in the air & i don’t know where or where or how often we’ll all come back together again & she’s so far awaaaay & it literally happened so fast like i feel as though she was just starting high school yesterday. scary 👍🏽 i’m scared 👍🏽 i get you 👍🏽 however i do wanna say it sounds like you care deeply for your sister & as cliché as this sounds you should trust that the two of you will put in the effort to keep in touch and keep your shared bond strong and you’ll have many chances to be and do things together! maybe you’ll visit her and see the life she’s building for herself bit by bit & be relieved and proud of her for doing so well. maybe she’ll visit you in your new home and you’ll chat about bygone times & feel warmed by the fact that the laughter you two filled the rooms of your old house with is still echoing in both your ears. maybe you’ll get to travel together and see new sights in faraway cities and eat well and create memories that allow you to feel awed you’re both grown now and can do whatever u want to do forever! thank you for your rambling i feel very seen but i also think despite the uncertainty of it all both my sister and i & your sister and yourself will be just fine 🎐 we have to be!

[touchreceptors]

opm 179/224(jp) TL commentary

so, about the Saitama vs Tatsumaki battle in the latest chapter.

Normally, I’m tired enough at the end of the work day that when the JP OPM chapter updates drop, I'm happy to just skim the chapter and wait for the usual fan TL team to do their good work and drop the English translation the next day. Usually, I find them very decent and competent.

This time around, however, Saitama’s lines on this particular page had me sitting up a little straighter.

I thought his word choice was oddly far too chummy given his usual personality and his attitude towards people like Tatsumaki, so I decided to check the original Japanese pages again and sure enough, found that I gleaned a very different idea from the JP lines. I would definitely have translated these differently.

Let’s take a look at the 2 phrases in question.

1. “She’s not in the mood to chat at all” (JP: 全然会話になんねえーな )

The plain form of this (i.e. after you distill it from Saitama’s typical style of speech) is 全然会話にならない which is far more often representative of the sentiment “It’s impossible trying to get through to you/this person”. It literally translates to “This is not becoming a 2-way conversation at all” or "you can't have a 2-way conversation with this person"; Google “会話にならない 英語” and you will see multiple suggestions along the lines of “It’s no use talking to you.”

This phrase is used to indicate that the other party is not willing to listen, usually to something important the speaker has to say. Saitama isn’t looking to have a friendly “chat”, he’s trying to make a point to Tatsumaki about not attacking other heroes and laying off his new home before that gets destroyed too. So, while the use of “chat” may help to preserve the lazy informality of his speaking style, it downplays the severity of the situation and his annoyance at her not getting his point. 

I personally would’ve used “Ugh, she’s not gonna listen at all, is she” or “Ugh, talking isn’t gonna work at all, is it” or a similar variation.

2. “Guess I’ll keep her company for now” (JP: 相手しとくか)

Context is everything. Just because “keep company” is the first option in a whole list of different definitions that pops up when you do a dictionary search doesn’t mean that it’s the right definition to use for a translation/localization. Nor does it mean it’s how the phrase is most commonly used in practice.

I'd wager you don’t even need to have much RL experience in Japan or with Japanese people to know which definition should've been picked. Watch enough shonen and sports anime with the original Japanese audio and you’ll soon learn that any time there is a pair activity, game and most importantly, a fight, 相手 i.e. “aite” refers to “opponent”. In a classroom setting, being asked to “相手して” doesn’t mean to keep a student “company”, it means to take up the opposite role in pair work. I’d add that in the close to 15 years I’ve spent studying and/or speaking Japanese, and the 3.5 years spent living and working in Japan, I’ve never heard this phrase being used to mean “keep somebody company” - but since experience can also be subjective, let’s just look at what we can be certain about: context, and our own knowledge of the target language and all its nuances.

a. Context - What’s happening, and who is saying it: Are they fighting? Yes. As opponents? Yes. Is Saitama referring to their fight and a strategy he's going to take (i.e. letting her tire herself out)? Most certainly, yes. Is this line being said by the same guy who thinks of Fubuki only as an acquaintance who's always dragging him into her business against his will, the same guy who in the last frame of this very chapter is thinking to himself "Man I reeeeeaallly wanna go home"? Yes. Should you have picked a definition more related to fighting and opponents from the dictionary's MANY different options like, idk, "take on a rival" to base your translation on? Yyeeess??? Why wouldn't you have?

b. Decision-making when localizing a text: What does “keep somebody company” imply in English? Is there a better way to phrase this and make the localized script more representative of the situation and the character's intent, and less loaded with English meaning that isn't present anywhere else in the text? I mean, Saitama certainly isn't suddenly thinking about loneliness and company when he mentions the lack of buildings and people - a safer distance away from civilization he deliberately went to the trouble of bringing Tatsumaki to.

I'd take some creative/artistic license here myself to make the language less stiff, but would definitely have gone for something less distorted, like "Guess I'll keep her occupied for now". If unsure, then even a more literal "Guess I'll take her on for now" would do a very decent job of conveying Saitama's intent, staying faithful to the original language without sounding too stiff when inserted into the sentence they came up with.

But well, who'm I to talk, eh? Translators are humans, there's no way to be completely objective in any interpretation, and they still do far more work than I am willing/able to do for this manga every update. I just wonder if they were letting certain biases guide their interpretations rather more than usual this time. Suffice to say, I'll be very curious to see how the guys at Viz choose to frame this bit for the official English TLs.

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

I don't want to sound rude and hasty but I'm not sure whether you forgot so I'm just gonna put this here. I also added one more part. This is in reference to the girls dom or sub chart.

1. Sakura's a sub? I mean, I know she said "I too have a heart of a woman" and she was legit embarrassed about being girly before but I kinda feel that Sakura was so stoic that she's neither sub or dom. She's just awesome. 2. Aoi kinda strikes me as both sub and dom. She's definitely a dom to Togami in that she's definitely not gonna let him have his way in any regard but at the same time, in terms of all encompassing general-ness, in terms of romance, Aoi is super embarrassed and shy about it. 3. I have no problem with Maki's position. But I do say she has a big soft spot when Kaito's there. 4. Peko should get a second placement just for a joke. In terms of her love of animals, especially Nyahiru, she should be a Super Dom. 5. I kinda feel Sayaka should be normal Dom cuz while I do see her being super flirty and mischievous and teasing to all of her shojo manga harem, I've definitely seen her easily uno reversed by Makoto and Kyoko and she becomes a embarrassed meek mess. Sayaka's a bit weak to sly romantic affection/teasing herself. 6. I know Narumi's a Literal Kid but you sure she's not already a bonafide Bitch? And 7. I might be wrong but I think I don't see Hiyoko on the chart.

//Okay so this is relating back to the sub/dom list I made for the characters, and the original ask you sent got buried in the box somewhere, so I’m gonna answer it here while I have the chance randomly.

Sakura is a sub WILLINGLY. I feel I should have clarified this because Sakura could absolutely be the dom of doms on this list, but it’s less to do with strength and more to do with the fact that she is (usually) a pretty gentle and sweet person. So in this sort of situation, while she COULD take the lead, she’s very much rather go at her partners pace. After all, I feel she’d be pretty used to people finding her intimidating.

This is true, but from the perspective of Hina’s relationship with Byakuya in general, not just romantically or sexually, they are both characters known for being competitive. One thing that makes their dynamic so interesting is they are competitive people, but are two very different kinds of sports. Hina is a friendly athlete who loves the thrill of the game more than the victory, and is in the scene to make friends, live life, and have fun, but Byakuya on the other hand is driven by a strong desire to be on top alone, and isn’t afraid to kick people down to get there. Put them together in this sort of situation, and the end result is…interesting to say the least.

I think it’s safe to say Kaimaki are switches. Kaito and Maki both feel like they would TRY to be doms, but they are very soft with each other, at least more than they are with other people.

I know this is a joke, but I am constantly feeling the need to remind people that Peko likes petting fluffy creatures, and the reason why she is so crazy over them is because they are usually so intimidated by her intense aura that they don’t approach her (and Nyahiru is scared of her for a very similar reason). Peko does not want to FUCK a fluffy animal. She’s a fur-lover, not a furRY.

Okay, you know what? This is fair. Giving it a bit of thought, it’s hilarious because in the Naegibowl, Sayaka is actually all three. She’s a dom for Makoto, a sub for Kyoko, and a switch for Mukuro because Mukuro is normally really shy, but if she decides to take the lead, Sayaka couldn’t fucking do ANYTHING to stop her and her ripped as hell abs.

Okay, yes she is, but I tried not to include the characters who have been stated to be young. At this point, Narumi IS 16, but I didn’t want to chance it.

I’ll have to go back and check, but in case Hiyoko isn’t there, she’s definitely a dom; at least in her current relationship.

-Mod