#I’m not being a very good sick person
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Someone read me my fanfics so I can still get my bedtime story without having to do the work!
I’m sick and being a baby
#sick#I’m not being a very good sick person#I’m suffering with this strep and upper respiratory infection#they are fighting with each other to see who can make me more miserable#guess I should be happy the flu and covid tests were negative at least
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So, despite some faults, I really enjoyed totk, and on its anniversary I want to say something about it. Other people have said similar things before but it’s really important to me and actually a big part of why the story of totk was meaningful to me, so I want to also say it:
Zelda needed to come back from draconification. The story needed that. It wasn’t lazy and just ignoring “consequences” because (imo) that was the *point*
The point is to feel like there are going to be terrible consequences and then say actually, no. You can come back from this, with the help of other people.
To me at least, that was the theme of the whole story.
If botw was about how the world goes on past loss and grief and starts to heal (how flowers grow in the ruins and the world can be beautiful again, be worth saving, even if it has changed)…then totk was about a more personal kind of healing.
The weight of the world should not be on your shoulders alone…you, alone, should not have to fix everything…you should not have to sacrifice yourself, but when you do, someone will be there to save you from it.
This turned into a really long ramble so:
You (Link) gained so much and now it’s gone. It feels like you’re back to where you started and yet you know you have to do it all again…you were weak and you failed and you’re weaker now…but
You go down to the surface. Monsters swarm across it once again. Other people are fighting them too though. You help, but it’s not just you…
You go to the Rito, the Gorons, the Zora, the Gerudo…just like with the divine beasts, there are friends who help you save each region. But this time, part of them comes along with you when you leave. It’s nice, you realize, the first time one of them protects you from a monster you weren’t prepared for. You’re still weaker than you were before, but someone has your back…
When you go up to the sky you see a strange new dragon there. There’s something about them that feels familiar. You try not to think about it.
You go down to the depths too. It’s terrifying at first. You hate it. You only want to get what you came for and get out of the dark….but slowly, the light grows. You get stronger. The dark feels like a challenge you can face (and someone has your back).
There are spirits down there. You don’t know when they’re from, but some part of you wonders…are these all the people you let die in the Calamity? (You help them find rest from their wandering. The weight on your shoulders feels a little less heavy).
There’s so much gloom. The first few times the sky turns red and hands chase you (a reminder of what you’ve lost, how you failed) you just run. Eventually though, you have to fight. It feels like the (second) worst day of your life again. But you manage to get free of the grasping gloom and stand and fight, as wild and desperate as it is. Beneath the manifestation of your worst fears, there’s another thing to fight, but this time it has a face (a voice in the back of your head says…you know this isn’t all on you and your failure…it’s really Ganon’s fault right?). You get through it.
At every turn in your travels, it seems like something reminds you of Zelda. Her passion, her curiosity, her kindness. You miss her.
At first, the tears you find reassure you. She may be in the past, but she’s safe. She’ll come back somehow…but then you hear the word draconification for the first time. You want to believe she wouldn’t do it but you know her and the fear sits cold inside you. (Zelda is a lot of things. She’s been allowed to be more of them, since she was freed from her hundred year battle, without her father holding her back. But deep down inside her, there’s a vein of self-sacrifice that still runs strong. It’s what saved the world before, after all).
She did it. She really did it. She’s gone from you (from Hyrule) forever, and it’s all your fault. If only you hadn’t failed so utterly in the battle (you can hardly even call it that) under the castle. If only you’d caught her. If only you hadn’t let the sword break. You should have protected her you should have been better it’s all your fault and now she has to live with the consequences, forever. Everything really is on you, you should have been better.
(Zelda POV: you couldn’t call upon Hylia’s power in time, you were too content to let it wither and fade away from you, ready to be free of it. You shouldn’t have. He got hurt, the sword got hurt, it’s your fault…Sonia and Rauru help you channel it again, Sonia helps you learn how to turn back time…but you don’t save her. She dies because you couldn’t save her. Rauru dies not long after. There is no one left to guide you, once again. You could spend years trying to figure it out on your own. But you did that last time. It didn’t work. Self-sacrifice, stepping in front of someone you love, that worked. (You do what you can, to call upon the sages, to help Link in the future, first). And then you swallow the stone. You’ve come a long way, in the past five years, allowing yourself to exist. But in the end, self-sacrifice worked last time. It’ll work this time too.)
You (Link) go down beneath the castle. You were supposed to bring the sages but you didn’t. It’s nice, for someone to have your back. But no one else should get hurt to fix your mistakes.
They follow you anyway. They fight with you, against the hordes, against the greatest enemies you defeated together, along the way. They’ll have your back, even if you don’t think you deserve it.
You fight Ganondorf, and then the demon king, in the hardest battle of your life. You think it’s over and then the demon king decides it’s better to lose himself completely than let you win. You’re exhausted and afraid of yet another battle, but up there in the sky, when you’re falling, the Light Dragon catches you (you wonder why she changed her path to catch you, you wonder if there’s still something of Zelda left in there to save). With her help, you win.
And then you’re in some other realm. The spirits of Sonia and Rauru are there. You remember how the two of them and Zelda channeled such incredible power together. You think about Recall. Turning something back to the memory of what it was before, like Sonia said. You stand with them and you allow yourself to hope. Maybe the Light Dragon can remember the form she took so long ago, the person that she was.
And then you’re falling, and Zelda is falling, but this time you catch her. You catch her. She’s back home with you, finally, finally.
And maybe, one mistake doesn’t have to be the end of the world. You don’t have to be perfect. Sometimes, someone else can stand with you, and it’ll all turn out alright. (You can put the weight of the world on your shoulders, you can sacrifice yourself, but someone will be there to catch you, someone will be there to pull you back to yourself, when all is said and done).
#loz#tears of the kingdom#Link#Zelda#I will say also that I think part of the reason totk is special to me is very personal#like when it came out I was still struggling with the worst burnout of my life#I had had a few months of exhaustion between January and March and in May that exhaustion was still sticking to me#it was hard to get out of bed hard to do anything I felt so tired that I almost felt sick but I wasn’t sick#and the thing is Zelda games are my biggest special interest#and having a new one to play like genuinely I’m not joking it gave me bsck so much energy#I was doing really badly but when totk came out I played it for an entire weekend straight basically#and like my mom came to visit me and help me out with basic life stuff#and like sit with me while I played just like enjoying being together#and that was really nice#over that summer and the fall after I started getting to know someone I work with better#largely over conversations about totk at first#and they’ve become a good friend#(and become someone that I feel safe to be fully myself around)#and so I just have this really strong personal connection to totk#like I will not claim to be impartial about it#there are definitely criticisms that I can acknowledge#in particular I don’t like that they un-amputeed Link let Link be disabled#and also ganondorf’s characterization was shallow and one dimensional#and I’m sure there’s other things I could think of#but the overall narrative#including Zelda becoming the light dragon and then turning back in the end#I really like that#it felt like a narrative of healing to me#and playing it at the time that I did felt really healing to me too
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green beetle black beetle
#star wars#the original trilogy#boba fett#darth vader#hi. sorry for star war jumpscare. genuinely#i feel like ive kinda been on an art hiatus lately due to health stuff#i got diagnosed with a parathyroid disease recently (wahoo) so now i know why i have been feeling so bad! need more tests though#anyway. in the mean time most of the entertainment my brain can handle has been like. youtube clip compilations of shows and movies#not even the actual shows or movies. literally just sections of them on youtube#i wish i was joking#the only reason i know what happens in succession is because i have watched it in disjointed order in youtube compilations. not joking#anyway so ive learned a lot more about star wars than i ever. thought i would#mostly just the original trilogy and prequels. some of the old comics & books are interesting too#(sick to my stomach) i like darth vader he has like the same personality as ganondorf except he had no good reason for doing anything#when vader/anakin does literally anything weird or unacceptable it like. makes me laugh so hard its like jerma when he sees a car accident#boba fett’s costume design has been rotating in my head a lot too it’s very good#he’s very colorful and like. matte/unpolished compared to vader and it makes them a cool duo visually#those 2 are my favorites. vader why is the space cowboy the only person aside from sidious or tarkin who is allowed to get mad at you#sidious is my 3rd favorite. he sucks so bad as like a person that you just. you have no expectations of him except just being evil#so its just really funny like everything he does is horrible and he’s so happy all the time like good for him#i’m making it sound like ive never seen star wars before. i have i just never really cared about it until i got an endocrine disorder lmao#but yeah idk art may continue to be slow while im figuring out treatment stuff#if anyone reading this also has or has had hyperparathyroidism im wishing the strength & radiance of 1000 beautiful horses upon you
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can we please stop with the ‘Mickey is objectively a bad person’ shit PLEASE.
I get it comes from a place of holding him accountable for his actions which is fair but going straight to “he’s a bad person” just completely disregards so much of his growth and development, and the nuances of the show.
I get Mickey fans got a reputation in the past for excusing everything he does and yea that’s annoying. But to counteract that by saying “he’s objectively terrible!” is so one dimensional and also completely goes against everything that shameless is about.
the point of shameless isn’t that all of these people are terrible, it’s to show the effect living in poverty has on a person and the lengths that are necessary to go to survive in that life, and the mistakes that ultimately causes people to make along the way.
no shameless character is perfect. that’s the point. even some of the worst things that characters have done have been because they are victims of their circumstances and situations. they are nuanced complex characters that can’t be put into boxes of good and bad
they’ve all done things to hurt other people and themselves. but the point is is that most of them have good within them, but all the factors against them make it harder to let that out.
“He’s a bad person” is a lazy reading of the show that completely lacks nuance in my opinion
#I’m so sick of seeing this#he’s not an angel. but he’s not evil#SHOCKER that’s kind of the whole point of the fucking show#idk what the fandom used to be like but I get the impression that Mickey was over excused#and then now because of that certain blogs have taken it upon themselves to attack mickey fans because of that#and their go to argument is that he’s a bad person#like. you were so close to the point!!#blocked people bc I was so sick of seeing this bullshit and now it’s on my tik tok#anyway if anyone tried to say ian was objectively a bad person everyone would be up in arms#rightfully so because he’s not#he’s made mistakes and fucked up many times#like every other character in the show#but he’s not a bad person#people are nuanced an grey!!#shocker!!#mickey milkovich#shameless#idk why everyone is so obsessed with putting people into a box of good or bad#that’s so fucking boring#if ur reading this this isn’t about u btw#anyone I’ve seen who is truly angry about Mickey fans being overly defensive of him#are really just angry when other people view Mickey the same way those people view ian#instead of taking into account how both of their circumstances affected their actions#I said what I said#that’s literally it#I saw a comment that was like#Mickey fans will always talk about how his childhood was a reason for his actions but not Ian’s#while they actively do that very thing to Mickey#it’s literally the height of hypocrisy#just do it for both of them it’s not difficult
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Getting REAL sick and tired of how omori TikTok views sunny.
Like, they view any scene of him being emotionally vulnerable, affectionate, or even just making an expression outside of just being completely neutral as “mischaracterised”. He’s not some cool, stoic, unwavering badass, he is a traumatised teenager. Don’t cry whenever he dares to give his friend a hug or (god forbid) be SAD about something??? Isn’t like. Part of the point of his development about him allowing himself to break down the repressive walls he built when he shut himself in? And being able to rely on his real friends instead of imaginary versions? And isn’t the game like. Meant to SHOW that he still cares about them despite isolating himself?
It’s really stupid to get mad at a character like that showing emotion or affection personally, especially since he’s not used to expressing it properly after so long. But that’s just me
#this isn’t even solely about the manga though it inspired me to make this post#any piece of official art in which sunny dares to show an emotion is shunned as ooc and I’m sick of it#he only appears ‘neutral’ throughout the GAME’s narrative because he HAS NO FACE SPRITES#because he’s the protagonist and has no actual dialogue#therefore he only makes a few expressions the entire game#obviously manga sunny is a good bit more expressive than canon sunny but#it’s REALLY not as bad as TikTok is making it out to be#I’m so TIRED of this character being viewed as nothing but a rock that ONLY has personality before and the game’s events#not allows to emote at all because ‘he didn’t do that in the game!!’#because he is restricted to ONE face sprite the entire time outside of the battles#omori is a DIFFERENT case and I can admit that manga omori is a good bit more expressive than he should be but#he’s still VERY stoic especially compared to sunny#which is what is should be#sunny should be quite closed off but in contrast to omori so much more human#that’s like. a massive part of their dynamic I feel#anyway this is such a long rant but god im so angry#I’ve seen one too many people cry ‘mischaracterised’ at a teenager expressing feelings#PLEASE stop it#also this is not to say you can’t critique manga sunny’s portrayal#because there are a few issues I believe#which are honestly really hard to dance around considering the factors I mentioned before#about having one expression most of the game and two lines of dialogue the entire time#and honestly? I think they did a pretty okay job!#he’s still a silent protagonist but seeing him emote so often helps us see into his mind and know how he’s thinking much easier#both portrayals have their pros and cons and ultimately I prefer the game’s portrayal#but that’s not to say this version of sunny is terrible and ooc like people have been saying#and that’s definitely not to say that any moment of emotional vulnerability he has is terrible and inaccurate#because that’s. just terrible and untrue#omori#omori sunny
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Disgusting creature (begins sobbing)
#castlevania#castlevania games#akumajo dracula#akumajou dracula#isaac castlevania#castlevania isaac#isaac laforeze#castlevania curse of darkness#curse of darkness#art post#my art#castlevania artists#Castlevania fanart#fanart#uhhh idk tags#some of these are based on panels from the manga and other official art but yeah#he’s truly a character that’s for sure#one one hand yeah he did all that he did kill people and committ war crimes#but on the other hand oaughaughogh but but what if what if he could’ve gotten better—#the game and mangas do a very good job of showing you how he’s like the opposite of Hector but so so similar#like Hector was two steps away from being that too they both came from such similar situations#augh I could make a whole analysis rant of the whole game and have before but not in the tags lmao#bro had to be put down and was a horrible person in the end but it was still sad#he’s like the classic cursed Castlevania rival character except completely unsavable this time#like imagine if you couldn’t save Maxim or Richter or Hugh or whoever else like that’s how it feels#anyway yeah he’s also fun to draw :3#his haircut is unreasonably cute#I wish I didn’t have curly hair that conflicts with that kind of hairstyle oof 😔#unrelated but I’ve been sick again lately ugh#at least this time I’m getting treated for it tho but idk if it’s working or not yet tbh ughhhhhhhhh
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‘Au Damian steals his siblings bc Damian doesn’t value them enough’ Damian doesn’t owe these niggas shit
#it’s giving I read fics and WFA#daily reminder Damian immediately called the failed cloned versions of himself his siblings#like he’s a compassionate kid I’m tired of fandom and canon both doing the ‘Damian learns to love 🥺’ shit over and over and over again#and instead of being seen as the stagnant repetitive character development it would be for any other damn person#it’s presented as like a flaw to his personality#and it’s one thing if it was SUPPOSED to be but we know it’s not bc every single time they go ‘damian is friendless’ and ignore maya and#Suren#like if u wanna ignore his original tt team fine whatever but he very much has made friends and stayed on good terms with them#even IN Gotham Colin maps and Marcus#like it’s so obvious that they’re just pressing rewind every single time bc they completely ignore everything before#and sidebar very sick of artists making Damian look like a tim clone rn but it’s not lost on me that y’all are starting to like him more#especially now that he’s in Bruce’s good graces without them acknowledging how fucked up Bruce is towards him ALL the time#like they’ll go ‘father can be overprotective and suspicious 🥺 but it’s justified bc I’m evil’ and move on#I’m sick of it
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i wanna draw sick sick stuff so bad but i’m so scared of being judged :c
#not even sick just uncommon#like pregnancy and lactation and stuff tee hee#sorry i got a massive breeding kink 😪 and everything related#plus a huge size kink i wanna see it struggle and wanna see it alsmot being a weapon of both pain and pleasure arggg awroooo#AND AND suffocation but because the top is holding onto bottom so so tightly bc it feels just soo good too doesn’t realize he’s squeezing#squeezing hard enough to make bottom lighthearted lost in the tight feeling 😩😩😩😩😩#i’m sorry :c it ain’t even sick it’s just embarrassing because it’s something i’m actually into#very basic imo but since it hits me deep— personally so….
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Why must dieting be absolutely fucking miserable
#ed blogs please dni i am not associated with you#i’ve only been calorie counting for 2.5 days and i’m already SICK OF THIS#why is every food i like to eat like 200 calories per mouthful#i’m planning dinner because i’m SO hungry already and why is a dollop of mayonnaise like the same amount of calories#as a whole can of butter beans. what’s the reason for that#i’m NOT switching to light mayo. at that point i’d rather just cut mayo from my diet altogether#light mayo; reduced fat margarine; light cream cheese & reduced salt marmite all taste horrendous to me#light cheddar as well. i’m not eating it!!!#don’t get me started on having to cut out weed because i will just start crying#being sober turns me into such a hater but the last thing i need is anything that will increase my appetite#i’ll be fine in like a week once my body adapts to eating 2074 calories instead of like fucking… 3000 or whatever it was#most of which were junk. i’m very sad that i can’t eat more than one sweet or piece of chocolate per day but i’m just trying not to think#about it. and while i’m on the subject; since when are fibre one brownies so boring. i feel like they used to taste legitimately good#i’m going to take up running again. because then i will be able to eat more. but also i will be hungrier. i CANNOT win#they really need to invent a low calorie food that actually tastes good to me. every time i google it i’m like eurgh#celery and nuts. fuck off#if i didn’t have arthritis in my knee and a family history of heart problems i wouldn’t be doing this shit but alas! i probably should#i just want to take like 20kg of strain off my knees it should not be this hard. and yet!#personal
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there’s so much i wanna do this week/month/etc but i’m just too sick, i have no energy, i can’t sleep, i’m constantly nauseous and headachey and on the verge of a migraine, i’m stressed and irritable and impatient and panicky…….how tf did i survive nearly 5 years of high school untreated if i can’t even manage this when i don’t have any major obligations rn
#at least i finally got my meds so hopefully i feel a little better soon#although i’m now on 20 pills per day which is Just Great#whenever i’m in remission it’s nice to just. forget sometimes that this can happen at any time#kinda wish i had the typical kinda chronic illness that people talk about with ‘flares’#or at least triggers that i can plan around#the other times have all had an easily identifiable stressor tho tbf. idk what caused this one#the first time was whooping cough and the next few were all very major life stressors like my cat dying right after i started uni#and i think also towards the end of my honours thesis?#but this…….there’s no major stress right now. nothing wildly beyond normal#i’m a little concerned about my joints tho. they’ve been so much worse than normal the last few months#so i’m kinda worried i’m developing rheumatoid arthritis (also an autoimmune disease and it runs in the family specifically)#so if that’s happening then it could set my thyroid off? probably should get to the doctor at some point#obv i’m seeing my endo for thyroid stuff. but i should see my gp and get her to run all the autoimmune blood tests again#i’ve done that before but it’s been a few years and my ankles and knees are so painful i can’t even walk properly a lot of the time#BUT I JUST WANNA DO THINGS I ENJOY AND I CANT AND I WILL CONTINUE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT#‘oh you’re so lucky you don’t have as many obligations because you’re chronically ill’ ha ha ha please swap lives with me immediately#personal#but seriously. i wasn’t diagnosed until i was nearly 17 and we can trace it back to whooping cough when i was 12#so it was the last half of year 6 and then all of years 7-10 and the start of year 11 of just being. uh. ‘very lazy and complaining a lot’#and TEACHERS joking about me and my sister (who was dealing with an arguably more severe undiagnosed disease) missing so many classes#wow so funny pdhpe teacher who’s supposed to be teaching is about health#and the thing with being a mentally ill teenager is that hyperthyroidism can just look like a very severe anxiety disorder#so i didn’t go to the dr until i was too sick to go to school at all. and luckily had a good dr who did a blood test#i’m just rambling now because i can’t sleep and i don’t wanna lie here doing nothing#might go play pvz or something. that’s been keeping me entertained
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idr who it was but somebody I reblogged a post on a while back in which I dumped a bunch of random personal stuff in the tags if you see this this is for you 🙏🙏 also I’m lying I’m just a yapper
#I love turning tumblr into my personal diary knowing this will probably just get buried in the annels of my blog#I’m sure that’s not how you spell that but wtv#anyways grrrr I love men I love figuring out my type#I’ve dated three guys who all coincidentally happen to be relatively tall skinny athletic types#not an intended pattern btw it just happened like that#but now I am experiencing the true joy of variety#gahhhh I love body fat I love guys with body fat I am sick in the head for men who are squishy and have tummies and ass#it’s not my fault that kinda guy just happens to be the center snare in drumline it’s the curse of band kid I guess#holy shit I need to stop dating people in my band actually Jesus Christ it’s two already. see but like or I could collect the set#and go for all different instruments or categories#I’ve got brass (trombone) and woodwind (tenor sax) down#so like percussion?? mayhaps#our drumline is exclusively made up of three types of people for some reason#a) every girl is legit cool a bit masc and definitely gay (I know two personally and a third that fits the bill) and very skilled#b) very much oddball types who nobody in the band gets along with because they actively make people uncomfortable (hard to describe)#c) most grey-sweatpants straight guy you’ve ever seen who just happens to be reserved n semiattractive. looking at two of them in particula#(section leader and center snare specifically) third category hits hard#not my fault the center snare is stupid pretty and reserved and kinda squishy <- on the floor drooling#and like. a good snare#idk what happened to me but as soon as I became a musician people being able to play well became VERY attractive to me#curse of band kid once again#I’m genetically predisposed to it it’s fine <- raised by two divorced music majors#in particular an alto sax and the center snare are two guys that stick as me having a moment of like oh wow they’re *good*. haha that’s hot#alto sax is a killer jazz player and I’m psyched I get to trio with him and one of the drumline girls (my favorite tgirl fr)#although they’re both way better than I am so I’m really the weak link here#which is a hard asf sell given that they want me on bass <- I am a decent-to-mid rhythm guitarist at best#but wtv. everything I do I do for jazz#the most personal information I will likely ever admit to (I am lying I will vaguely yap about myself all day long)
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#life has just been nothing short of hard thing after hard thing the past little while#and me. being the emotional person that I am. it hits me very hard.#drama and death and mental health concerns and sickness and broken relationships and#well now I’m sick and it’s a really bad cold. one of the worst I’ve had for sure. may have to go to the doc tomorrow if I’m not any better#could be worse I know#but on top of everything it just makes it worse#brushing my teeth has become a last resort because I’ve just been exhausted past what a normal human should experience#productivity right now is very low#sleep has been a nightmare#I really need a break.#I’ll get one. I know I will. things will clear up. all will be fine.#God is good. I know He’s with me through this.#but boy is there a lot going on right now.#and I’ve just. a stupid part of me just wants to disappear and cut contact with everyone.#not that it would help. I know it wouldn’t. humans are social. people care I guess.#life is just. it’s rough.
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Yeah I was fucking right by the way, he’s liked me since like last year and I’ve liked him since October so I really could’ve done something about this sooner, and also he’s not homophobic or transphobic yayyyyy
#boy post#oh my god you guys it was so funny#so first off he’s watching Elden ring lore videos over the car stereo#and after like an hour of debating if I just go for it or not. I go ‘can I say something super out of pocket? you can say no’#and he’s like yeah go ahead? so I said I think you’re cute.#and he paused his video and was quiet for a bit and was like ‘anything in particular to make you say that’ and I was kind of like oh fuck#but I was confident and was like oh just in general#and we both sat silently for a bit and he was like honestly. I’ve liked you for a while#and then yayyy we started talking about that etc and eventually I go ‘so what next?’ and he’s like well I don’t know#(I have dating experience he does not)#so I go ‘do you wanna date?’ and he says yes and I said ‘sick’ and fist bumped him#and then we drove for like 3 more hours just talking and like. getting personal#god I like him so much. he is so pure and good hearted and enthusiastic and smart and a hard worker#and he CARES about people like that’s huge for me. he just cares about people#and I was like this is potentially a dealbreaker. but I’m bi and dated a girl and a lot of my friends are GNC/trans#but he’s chill! and his family is chill!!!!#yeah idk man. everything turned out perfectly fucking fine and I have a boyfriend and he is so cool#and he’s FINE with me being left wing and bi and mentally ill etc etc like I was so worried I would scare him off#yeah idk. I am very happy
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god, tryna find other smiths fans is such a delicate balance because like:
on one hand i want to find people who don’t just straight up dismiss everything morrissey has ever done bc like. yes we get it, dude is bigoted and holds some very abhorrent views that no one should be excusing. but i don’t think you can be anything more than a surface-level smiths fan without at least giving him credit where credit is due and attempting to understand the frame of reference these lyrics come from, which is to say you’d need to at least try and understand a little of who he is as a person (AND empathize with that. im sorry but you do).
but also like whenever i come across a straight-up morrissey fan i’m always like…hm🤔 are u racist
#idk what I’m tryna say and I will probs delete this#but maybe im just sick of people being like ‘oh i love the smiths but it’s got nothing to do w morrissey ew’#like ‘haha morrissey bad’ just isn’t cutting it for me anymore.#like i understand the desire to. but who do u guys actually think the smiths were#also ‘oh i like young morrissey but it’s like he became a different person when he got older’#like sorry to break it to ya but dude was always racist. doesn’t mean he can’t be right about other things like animal rights activism#humans are complicated ya know - u can be both#i think in a lot of cases it’s a personal line of how much bullshit you’re willing to tolerate#but if we automatically dismiss someone as soon as any of their views don’t align with ours then we’re left with very few artists. and um#maybe that’s a good thing. maybe we shouldn’t be hero-worshipping any person let alone a pop/rock celeb#but im just saying like. don’t think that just because nothing scandalous has come out that a celeb is automatically a ‘good person’
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gawd having to act straight at michaels is crazy bc so many of my coworkers just talk about the guys theyre dating and or fucking and its crayzay so my one manager showed me a pic of the guy shes just fwb with right now and she was like hes sooo hot and i was like meh i mean not my type i guess like not ugly but whatevs and she was like well what is your type and i was like OH NO i shouldnt have worded it that way so i said oh i dont really know i just know it when i see it i guess. and she was like well cant you list like traits characteristics and i was like. Well. i must say this. i know its controversial but i do like mustaches. and she was like. that is very controversial
#IM SORRY I JUST LIKE MUSTACHES i think they rule#when someone has an epic mustache i do have to be impressed#brot posts#im sooo sick of being at work. honestly this has happened at my new job once now already too#so im so sick of being at work in general. and having girls talk about nothing but boys they find cute#i csn only hum along in feigned interest so many times im going insane#my new job is very lgbt friendly like we have multiple trans staff members and i noticed one whos training me actually has an ace ring#so like im not alone unlike at michaels where like. Everyone is cishet.#i had one gay coworker but he QUIT !!!!! for good reason but still i miss him :(#anyway so my point is like my new job is definitely like a good rnvironment#and like all my michaels coworkers are respectuful too its just yknow i’m obviously an outlier which creates a different dynamic#but just regardless i just like do not want to come out at work??? at any place of employment ??#maybe if we’re friends outside of work and we’re talking about these things outside of work then maybe#but like literally being clocked in on the premises. boss floating around. just. its weird. im not telling you about such a deeply personal#part of myself !!!!!#so having thsse people talk about being straight constantly its like please youre putting me in such an awkward position#having to act along with it for my LIFE because i do not want to explain that im not attracted to men while im at my JOB !!!!#i can only evade so much !!!
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anyone in the mood to like be in love with me. or something.
#personal#having a Weird day today and I know my period is supposed to start soon but like damn. why does this happen#I miss my ex a lot today and I had a great weekend with my buddies at a cottage but he was supposed to be there too and it made me :/#and I had a good talk with some of them and they even had stories of him lightly belittling me behind my back ?? which hurt#he did it to my face a lot under the guise of a joke but looking back it was very mean. and yet I do miss him and he and I were best friends#idk. feeling sad. I know I’m just hormonal and also sick rn but man. sometimes I just miss being loved and cherished and wanted in that way#and I wish he would want me or miss me. but I have no idea what he could be thinking. it’s been almost 3 months
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