#I’m not ENTIRELY happy with it but we’ll get there with practice lads

[grimalkinscribbles]

Rizz lord

[peakyblindersxx]

May I request a john smut in which, despite being the cocky beast that he usually is, he manages to get all gentle and intense when, after years of mutual pining, he finally makes love to ada's best friend who's younger and totally inexperienced. Idk I just need this to be fucking intense, like John suffocating his desire for ages and now finally indulging in his worst temptation and showing her what lust is... please i'll burn in hellll

a/n: first of all let me say: this killed me. like, it’s literally all i can think about. god help me. but thank you so fucking much for requesting this bc i liked it sooo much that i decided to make a mini series out of it with the help of my babe @stxdyblr-2k who was sweet enough to offer to ghostwrite on the series 🥰 and to all my other angels who requested fics, don’t worry i will get them done! just wanna give you guys the best quality work i can. my 1st priority are some tommy requests i got, as well as some michael ones after :)

love, abi xxx

whiskey business - john shelby x reader (1 of ?)

warnings: nsfw! eventual smut, slow burn, john being sexy as all hell but also soft

John couldn’t tear his eyes off of you. From the moment you walked into the Garrison, arm loosely linked with Ada’s, clad in a black lace dress that hugged you just right, he couldn’t stop staring. Even Tommy and Arthur had noticed, cracking some joke about him being pussy whipped. The words floated right over his head, his mind on one thing only. The last time he had seen you, you were barely eighteen, cheeks pink as you waved goodbye out the train window to Ada as she sobbed. Ada had always had a flair for the dramatic, but the two of you had practically been attached at the hip your entire lives. So, he consoled her, reminding her that university wasn’t forever, that you would be back soon enough. And back, you were, red-stained lips sipping at a glass of something that Ada had practically shoved in your face. You weren’t a girl anymore, black heels crossed at the ankle as you sat across the room in a booth, laughing as Ada waved her arms, telling some sort of story.

“Just fuckin’ talk to ‘er, John-boy,” Arthur’s voice cut through John’s train of thought like a sharp knife, and he focused his eyes on his two brothers sitting at the booth across from him, clouds of smoke from Tommy’s incessant smoking heavy in the air around them.

“Fuck off,” John returned as he stood, earning a chuckle from Tommy.

“That’s right,” Arthur shouted as John made his way towards the bar, rolling his eyes at his older brothers. “Make sure you show her a real good time, eh?” Arthur’s voice was soon drowned out by the crowd around John, as they parted to let him walk through. He didn’t even see them, his eyes trained on your smile. Fuck, you were pretty.

***

“So, then I fucking kicked him in the balls.” Ada’s eyes sparkled triumphantly as she recalled the time she’d incited a riot, managing to cause great injury to a certain part of a policeman’s body. She did so casually, like it was no big deal. You couldn’t control your laughter as Ada grinned, pleased that she’d been able to make you laugh. “Fuckin’ missed you, Y/N,” she professed, shooting the rest of her gin and gesturing at the bartender to “leave the fuckin’ bottle, already.”

“Missed you too,” you smiled back at her, happy to be back in Birmingham in the company of an old friend. London was beautiful, but lonely. There was something inside you that missed the dirty streets, the crowded pubs bursting with familiar faces.

“Had to come over here myself to make sure it was you,” A deep voice interrupted your reverie and you looked up to see none other than Ada’s older brother John, looking even handsomer than the last time you’d seen him, in a grey-three piece suit, a cigar hanging from his lips. You’d had the hugest crush on him growing up, and the butterflies swimming around in your stomach seemed to confirm that you still found the tallest Shelby brother irresistible.

“Hi, John,” You offered him a shy smile and scooched over as he slid into the booth next to you, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to your cheek. You couldn’t help but drink in the smell of his cologne, the various drinks that Ada had encouraged you to down making you press yourself closer to him.

“M’kay, if you’re going to fuck, at least wait until I’m gone.” Ada’s voice snapped you out of it and you looked away, a pink blush staining your cheeks.

“Says the one who managed to fuck three of my best mates before you left school,” John retorted, causing Ada to roll her eyes, shooting her whiskey and pouring the three of you another glass each.

“I feel like getting drunk, and I’m not doing it alone,” Ada announced, causing both you and John to crack a smile at her forcefulness.

“Good thing we took a cab here,” you returned, before shooting your whiskey. If you were going to have to stare at John all night, you thought, you might as well be drunk doing it. Wasn’t like he was going to be staring back.

***

Ada was shitfaced, dancing in the middle of the pub. Luckily, Isaiah had stepped in as her partner, making sure her stumbling didn’t cause her to trip and fall. Unluckily for you, this left a tipsy you and John alone tucked into a booth in the corner of the room, out of view. The conversation was friendly, and you were trying your best to keep your mind off the way you could see John’s forearms practically bulging out of his suit. It wasn’t fair, you thought to yourself, for him to walk around looking like that. Especially when you knew that he was probably fucking the latest movie star, or something. It was almost impossible for you to keep your head straight, yet you managed to keep it civil. However, you couldn’t help your gaze from drifting to his lips. God, they were so pink and looked so soft, it was unfair. You couldn’t stop yourself from imagining how they’d feel on your mouth, let alone other parts of your body. Jesus, you were fucked.

A third of a bottle of whiskey later, you couldn’t help but let yourself slide closer to him, heart beating fast in your chest as you sat tucked into his side, his arm around you as you laughed at a joke he’d made, something about the stick up Tommy’s ass. Your eyes shone as they met his blue ones, his arm sliding down until his fingers were brushing against your waist, radiating heat into your skin.

“Y’know, I’d tell you how fuckin’ pretty you look tonight, but I think you already know that,” John rumbled into your ear, lips just barely brushing against your neck. Your breath hitched, and he noticed, a small grin spreading across his lips.

“You’re something else, you know that?” You shot back, a small smile threatening to take over your lips.

“M’not just sayin’ that. Couldn’t take my eyes off ‘ya, since you walked in.” John wasn’t kidding. For a second you didn’t know how to reply, staring up at him with a slight look of disbelief. The whiskey, however, had other plans, and had decided to respond for you.

“Can't keep your hands off me now." You smirked, waiting for him to escalate the moment, anticipation and liquor silencing the blaring alarm in your mind. God, you shouldn't want him as badly as you do.

"Can you blame me?" He muttered, dragging his fingers across the lace of your dress, tracing the pattern's loops absentmindedly, watching your jaw tense and lips part to take a gasping breath, your jacket having long vanished into the chaos of the pub. Your arms wound themselves around his neck, fingers twisting into his short hair. "Fucking come 'ere lass."

His strong arms lifted you onto his knee, gripping a thigh to help you balance, the friction of his rough hand against the stiff fabric pushing your dress up slightly. The need for more and the desire to know him completely intoxicated you far more than anything from a bottle; you'd never felt as though you were on fire from your drunk hookups. His fingers found the zip of your dress, tugging it down desperately, gripping the flesh of your exposed shoulder blades. A small groan erupted from your lips as you felt him chuckle below you, pressing a thumb to your lips to quieten you.

"John," you whined, pouting playfully against his thumb.

"I'll sort you out, I swear," He muttered, slipping his thumb between your lips. Instinctively, you sucked, locking eyes with him, his hand straying from your back to roughly grab your jaw, holding your gaze. "But if you're going to scream your 'ead off, we'll get caught."

"You wish you could make me scream, John-lad."

"Come off it, I could ruin you, Y/N." He stated, lifting your jaw, as though memorising the construction of your face, tone brimming with a cocky confidence only John could make attractive. "You want that?"

"More than anything." The words tumbled out of your mouth thoughtlessly, watching how his jaw tightened in response as you attempted to read his expression. He studied you for what must've only been a few seconds, but the moment passed so slowly, you could barely remember what it felt like to not be examined by his dominating blue eyed stare.

His grip guided your face to his, fingers tilting your chin so John's lips could brush against yours, before pulling you into a heated almost aggressive kiss, the straps of your dress barely grazing your shoulders, the hem of your dress bunching around your waist as he reached down your back to grab your bum in a firm squeeze. Your mouth gaped open in a gasp of pleasure, John taking the moment to run his tongue against your lips, gaining access and deepening the kiss. You were so caught up in the thrill of John's seduction that you hadn't noticed his hand suddenly pull away after moving your skimpy underwear to one side. You had instinctively ground your hips against him, he'd broken the kiss to let out a string of curses, complimenting you through his quickening breaths (“Fuckin’ wet for me already, aye?”), gripping your thigh. But as soon as he had pulled the thin silk from your thighs, the atmosphere shifted, his lip curling in frustration as his hands left your skin as though your flesh was suddenly scalding.

"John?" You prompted, resting a hand on his shoulder, noticing the dark shadows under his eyes for the first time.

"It's getting late."

"What?" Your voice sounded high and whiny, you mentally scolded yourself for sounding so needy. It was embarrassing to be rejected by the man you've admired for many years, but even worse to be openly vulnerable and so pathetic in front of your best friend's brother.

Ada.

Oh fuck.

Realisation hit you, it was either that or the unholy quantity of alcohol you'd downed which turned your stomach. You had gone too far this time. It was one thing to flirt with John and desire him from a distance, it was an absolute betrayal to have sex with him, knowing Ada's insecurity about being used to get close to her gangster brothers- sex, power and politics. You had sworn during those tearful walks around the canal that you'd never hurt her. You couldn't do that to her.

Your sudden panic must've been obvious, you tried to stand up from John's lap, stumbling slightly, only regaining balance due to a sudden arm across your back, anchoring you upright.

"No one has to know. It's our secret yeah?" He muttered into your ear, his words comforting.

You nodded silently, the reality of the situation settling in. Your hands are shaking by your sides, John catches them, locking his fingers with yours.

"It's fine, now. Nothing happened yeah?" He stood up in front of you, his muscular physique looming before you, the creases across his torso reminding you that just a few minutes ago his body was under yours, he was breathless, needing your skin against his, desperate and vulnerable. "I'll zip you up. Turn around."

His hands dropped from yours to fumble clumsily with your zip, struggling in the gloom and fog of intoxication, he eventually succeeded, the lace clinging to the curve of your hips, waist, back and chest again. You wished it was him instead that was skimming your figure but you pushed the thought away with a simple, "Thanks."

"I'll walk you home yeah?" He offered, as he straightens your skirt and his tie, allowing you to fix his crumpled shirt collar and the row of shining buttons below his throat which you'd ripped open as he whispered dirty nonsense in your ear, smirking at how you arched your back and swore back at him through your moans.

"Isaiah already said he would, it'd be better for us both that way. You know how people around here talk." You replied, glancing at the mirror on the wall of the booth to quickly smooth your tousled hair. Despite only recently returning to Small Heath, you'd already encountered the rife gossiping and quickly realised your neighbour was incapable of minding his own business. "Nobody has to know, right?"

John nodded, disappointed but appreciating your rationale and quick thinking despite your state, "Right."

"Good night, John," You said politely, ignoring the tension in his tone and the sudden soft sadness of his eyes, turning your back and walking to the door. Back to the sticky dance floor, back to Ada, Isaiah, Finn, Tokyo, back to spilling drinks, ashing cigarettes, back to noise, safety and far from the man who made your morals vanish with the same lines he uses on probably every single one of his conquests. Fuck it. You were going to enjoy it, you sped up your pace in your heels, trying to ignore your shaking legs. You tried to ignore the guilty twang in your gut when Ada screamed your name across the pub and stumbled over, dragging some lad on her arm, pressing drunken kisses to your forehead and cheeks.

You couldn't help but look back to see his shadow sloping away into the darkness of the booths closer to the dance floor, being bullied mercilessly by his brothers you assumed. You watched him fake a smirk, take the knuckles to his brow from Arthur, snap an insult back to Thomas and settle into his rightful seat. You only shifted your gaze to Ada for a moment but when you looked back up, he was staring at you, jaw tense, icy stare burning into yours, arms folded on the table, the gold chains of his sleeve garters barely glinting in the dim light. He looked away but you could see his cheeks were flushed with blood even in the glow of the oil lamps.

Pretending nothing happened was going to be impossible.

***

to be continued!

[legendaryoikawa]

haikyuu boys protecting your drink at a party

warnings: mention of alcohol, language

note: female reader insert

this is for anon, who requested for a part 2.

Can I request Nekoma, Fukurodani, Inarizaki boys + Iwaizumi protecting s/o's drink at a party? I hope it's okay that I picked 9 names. It's the same amount as the Karasuno one

bokuto kotaro — pls take note the shining of his eyes when you approached him and asked him nicely to look out for your drink while you go fetch something,,,, he is really happy that you trusted your drink to him and he will guard it with all his life HAHA bokuto ur a fucking cutie hdvdhdvs so when a random drunk guy told him you were with him and he wants to claim your drink,, bokuto will be all serious and agitated like “fuck you” and will march away with his cake looking for akaashi HAHA 😂😂

akaashi keiji — pretty boy will gladly take your drink with no complaints or whatsoever,,, akaashi will most likely throw away his red cup so his 10000% attention is focused entirely on your half-filled cup. but akaashi is that typical guy that calculates everything and is aware of his surroundings so he MIGHT be fetching a new cup to give you when you come back since he doesn’t really trust the whole idea of red cups and parties,,, (mind u there are plenty of what ifs scenarios playing in his head and he thinks it’s much better to get a new drink cuz he knows it’s much better and HE a gentleman 🤤)

konoha akinori — konoha is a quiet lad,,, the sign: don’t touch, dangerous,,, is best to describe him. quiet, observant yet taunting so don’t ever mess up with him,,,,, typically he would casually taunt you out why would you leave your cup under his supervision yet after hearing your pleads (and your state the you need to go to the bathroom) he’ll be holding in while looking out for his teammates,,,, he would just glare at someone who would try to approach him for no definite reason and might be holding out his middle finger if he’s feeling a little extra ☺️☺️☺️

iwaizumi hajime — he’s known as a reliable person but sometimes stubborn. so when you went up to ask him to look out for your drink, he’ll deadpan “why should i?????” and acts cold,, but you leave it near him anyway because you had no other choice,,, and second after you left,, he holds your cup near to him lol 😂 and might resort to violence when a dickhead tries to spike up your drink rawr rawr 😳😳

kuroo tetsurou — king of provocation himself would be so flustered that you really made your way uo to him just to ask him to hold your drink for you but despite his shock,,, his perfomance ain’t slick,,, in a way that he would let out spiteful remarks when a guy would persistently ask for your drink,,,, “man... are you sure you are a grown up guy? a child knows what mind your own fucking business means, yet you don’t???? sucks to be... you” a knife isn’t the inly thing that is sharp,,, count kuroo’s tongue and hair 🤧❤️❤️

kenma kozume — he doesn’t want to be in the party in the first place (and we all know he’s just dragged out by kuroo) nevertheless,,, will likely to protect your drink in his own fucking cute way. of course his portable game console will always be with him and we’ll note the occasional cute beep bop beep bing noises being flooded by the chaotic music but anyways,,, he will guard your drink by covering the opening with his psp ✨✨✨anyways stan kenma✨✨✨

yaku morisuke — he’s probably at the bar island, chilling like usual with your drink on his left and his cup on his right,, would throw hands especially when bunch of guys made fun of him and his height,,, but he is a responsible guy because before kicking asses he asked the bartender to secure both drink then proceeds to roll his sleeves hdhdhdhd 😂😂

miya atsumu — before any of the people dared to mess up your drink, atsumu has already his plan started up,,, and before anyone would dare to mess up with him,, his snarky remarks are already ready,, making anyone leave the party... crying HAHAHAHA

miya osamu — would straight up glare at every person who’d dare go two meters near his safe environment. you don’t even need to worry ‘cause he handles your drink too protectively— grabbing the cup as to not let anyone near it, all while shooting daggers with his eyes. man is scary i’m telling u 😔

this was rushed and i apologize for being inactive since university is nearing and im not ready to go online learning HDHDHHSIS and ive been practicing to play the piano but my fingers are struggling jdhdhd anyways! ENJOYY :D

[jae-canikeepyou]

| kismet | j.jh | part one

pair: jaehyun x fem!reader

word count: 10k+ welps

summary: his parents sends him for a month long vacation to the country side to meet his other half, which so happens to be you. and alternatively, your beloveds asks of you to be in your best behaviour while he’s around. disliking how things turn out, you both come up with a pact with each other before your two families gathers together for christmas eve dinner.

genre: arranged marriage + bad 1st impressions

a/n: happy new year ✨ and you know what that means? *wink wink* new layout for my oneshots hihi! ok you guys this took soooooo long to write ;-; i wasn’t satisfied with the first draft so i had to reboot everything! and i mean everything!! :3 so i had this specific genre in mind for a long time and i’m glad that someone requested at the same time while i was in the progress of writing it~ i should’ve posted this on christmas day but i was spending time with my family :D hope you understand hihihi anyway i’ll stop this here so you can enjoy reading! ~j

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

| part two | part three (final) |

jaehyun never reacted so quickly in his entire life, simultaneously spitting out the drink he consumed and eyes growing at the news his parents suddenly brought up. his neck ache at sudden twist. “what did you say?” he wiped the drips of coffee at the corners of his lips. his breathing intensified the more the silence passed.

mr. and mrs. jeong playfully sighed & exchanged looks as their son shouldn’t be this surprised regarding the topic. they have discussed about this when he turned eighteen. now twenty-three, he shouldn’t be so surprised or over-reactive about it either. 

“you heard your father,” mrs. jeong chewed her meal elegantly, yet giggles were still heard through closed lips. “you’re meeting her next week.”

he squinted with plenty of doubts filling his head, he was sure that there was still a year left. and to him that also meant he has exactly a year to convince his parents to call off the marriage he never asked for, let alone planned it. he still has a lot- correction, have yet to achieve in his mid-twenties and having a wife now would be slightly cutting his privacy short. 

in other words, the path to leisure he wished for after years of academics would divert to spending a life planned out for him. he had a diary and planner, and 

they were organised and well-thought out. but he had enough of his parents writing out his future for him, why couldn’t he write his own love story?

jaehyun was on his second last year of veterinary medicine, having some of the weight and pressure of academics lifted off his shoulders. of course he knew he still has to study, he just felt a little relaxed knowing that he would soon practice his dream career.

never had he expected that time flew and was going to meet his fiancé soon. 

his phone blinked with along with a message from his friends— mark and johnny. he briefly looked at the wallpaper of his long-time girlfriend of four years; she was the one who was on his mind. “nononono, i can’t get married now.” jaehyun’s panicking voice echoed the dining area, shoving the phone into his pockets.

mr. jeong raised a brow, placing his cup of coffee on the glass table. “relax, you’re not putting a ring on her finger yet.”

“‘yet’?!” the dimples on his face deepened as his cheeks bubbled. “mom, dad, i haven’t even met her!”

“hm? that’s why you’re spending the whole month at the countryside!” mrs. jeong exclaimed excitingly, and to jaehyun it seemed she was enjoying herself as if she were the one going there too.

“a month?! what am i going to do over there?!” 

“isn’t this great? we finally get to see you outdoors instead of a laptop and report papers! you need a break honey.” his mother clasped palms.

“ugh i can manage my time—”

“once you start working i’m pretty sure you won’t have the time to, jaehyun.”

since the love topic was brought up, his parents started to dig out their memories during their dating years. jaehyun groaned and massaged his temples, feeling uncomfortable with all the love stories he already heard or been told about. “did you forget that i have a girlfriend?” mumbling, he let out a deep, long sigh hoping they would hear him. and that failed miserably. his parents were in their own world. 

he shook his leg underneath the table and grew impatient with the duration of their conversation. “please, i’m begging you. i’ll get married in my own time and pace. sue and i are pretty much going to settle once we graduate-”

a certain ringtone perked his ears and his hands quickly pat his pockets to search his phone. he let out a sigh of relief, that his girlfriend psychologically read his mind and knew how much he wanted to get out of the dinner table, not to mention his parents’ overly attachment to one another. 

“sue you called! i was wondering if you want to hang out for a while.” his voice was high in spirits. but word has it when it reached its high, it would plummet to the ground shortly after. “hey, what’s wrong?” 

on the other line, just a call away from his girlfriend, was her held-in sob and whimper. “where are you right now? i’m coming to get you.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

jaehyun’s limbs shook in anger and slammed his fists onto the stirring wheel so hard that this time he promised himself he would move on. last week, she didn’t just break up with him— that was a call for farewell, something kept well hidden from him and all this time he didn’t know she felt the way she did for the years they’ve spent together. 

for a minute he wished this was all a dream, that conscious world would wake his slumber mind. it wasn’t. the reality pretty much awoke him and kept him up all night. he blinked several times, her words still numbing his hearing, wishing it was a lie... but he heard her loud and clear that night. 

“...you’ll always have a place in my heart.. but i’m really sorry..”

he grew speechless though his heart had millions of questions. the windows of his lips sealed closed no matter how much he wanted them to be answered. opposite from where he was at, he stared at the porch of her house, waiting for a silhouette to appear before him. instead a luxurious car pulled over and an unfamiliar man took his coat off to wrap around sue. that action didn’t hurt jaehyun, but it was sue’s smile of comfort that triggered his pain more. seemed like she knew this man given that she let him into her house, like nothing heartbreaking happened before this. 

the door closed and jaehyun’s teary eyes never left her residence until loud slams of swinging car doors opened on both sides of the passenger’s seats. “tsk.” he hissed and quickly rubbed the tears meaning to fall. him being seen crying would really make him a target for his friends, for not moving on. couldn’t risk being the attention more than he already was.

“goodness mark it’s not like we’re on vacation that you have to pack almost everything,” johnny threw one of mark’s duffle bags at the boy, earning a so-what kind of look from him. “we’ll only bring jae to the y/l/n’s then leave afterwards—”

screw this, jaehyun thought. by now he shouldn’t look too swollen to his friends. but screw mark for renting and living across from his ex’s house. 

“save your explanation john.” jaehyun growled and started the engine, fastening his while seatbelt the two continued their bickers. more of it was mark’s shallowness that pissed johnny.

“yeah, save your explanation john- ow!” mark gave the tall lad a death-gazing glare at the pain that stayed on his skin.

johnny leaned forwards, tapping the dimpled boy on the shoulder. “dude, you changed your mind?”

jaehyun scoffed, resting his left arm onto the window’s edge as he drove. “mom said i should be accompanied. i didn’t want you both to come but she’s so insisting it’s getting into my nerves.” 

“actually mrs. jeong said you might need us after your sudden breakup,” mark pressed the button. the window rolled up and down whereas him and johnny exchanged looks to try to liven up the mood in the car. “what are friends for, hm?”

“o-oh yeah. you’ll need us.. as in.. ‘sue’pport.” he nodded with a fake sob. soon mark bursted out in giggles and joined the wagon. 

“‘cause you lost your ‘sue’weetheart.” “she’s making you ‘sue’per emotional.” “we were ‘sue’prised she dumped you.” “but as your brothers, we ‘sue’wear we’ll be here—”

“ugh! i don’t know why mom suggested you to come but your side comments really aren’t helping at all—” jaehyun rolled his eyes regretting instantly at the pain afterwards.

his friends found him hilarious. they were laughing so hard that jaehyun couldn’t continue or interrupt their exploding voices. “since when did you need help, mr. leave-me-alone?” johnny took a huge leap from his seat to be beside the offended boy. “for all i know you’re the type who wants everything perfect, in control and planned.”

“nah dude, right now..” mark zipped his bag. “he needs help with love issues.”

“this has nothing to do with my love! and for the record, about the y/f/n’s? it’s arranged!” he lowered his cap and slid back slightly against the seat while the car was on idle. “do i need to spell it out for you?”

“that can change dude,” johnny slurped on his giant soda takeaway. jaehyun battered his eyes but was careful enough to not leave his sight off of the road. “who knows this fiancé of yours could meet your expectations. maybe more than sue could ever do.”

jaehyun’s mind clouded and still had the effects from the breakup. still so fresh. he didn’t want to believe it in fact happened; that it was all true. he was sure sue was the one for him. hearing his pals say it word per word only had it finally sunk in— she dumped him.

it terrified him in ways he couldn’t imagine, haunted him countless of nights because he failed her. he even bragged to his parents that he would marry her and slip a ring on her finger. thinking about it, how stupid was he to hold onto that hope?

he looked like an idiot, felt like one and his friends probably viewed the same. they said his fiancé could outstand sue? she was the perfect package! what more could he get?

he had her.

honks of the vehicles behind led jaehyun’s eyes trailing to the stoplight that emitted green. he pulled over and johnny knew he had to take his place. 

“here, let me drive. you’re not fit for driving. now, just be comfy back there, okay?”

—

hours later violent jolts of the car hit jaehyun’s cheek, regaining consciousness from his slumber just to witness the beautiful sunrise peeking from the horizon. he sat up, his posture trying to straighten to denumb nerves that held long during his sleep.

his playlist blasted the speakers. johnny had his legs on the dashboard and hummed with the music. mark was still sleeping peacefully like he hadn’t had a care in the world other than his precious bag of unfinished chips in his hands. 

he groaned at the discomfort of pulled muscles and the sudden break to the countryside. if johnny needed an hour intervals for the drive he could’ve said so, right? but now they were at the open road, greenery and fields merging together in one land. 

“what time is it? where are we and are we there yet? i’ll drive if what you do delays the journey.” jaehyun gestured him to move aside. “johnny, stop eating.” it was quarter to two.

“wha-? i’m hungry. hey, you’re the one who didn’t want to come and yet you’re rushing to get to the y/l/n’s?” johnny unwrapped his second burrito. “besides, we’re only five minutes away—”

“tsk ‘cause i need to piss real bad.” jaehyun was fidgety and panned the view before setting eyes on his friend. 

johnny felt a churn in his stomach as his cheeks bubbled. “oh gross! i’m eating dude! if you’re gonna piss then do it outside?!”

jaehyun shoved the burrito into johnny’s mouth to not speak anymore. “rather hold it in than for you to puke in my car!” he held his strength while johnny fought his way to breathe properly. “i won’t piss outside and there are cattles who feed on fields!”

“bruh stop lecturing me with your vet knowledge- ah!” johnny held his forehead from the sudden finger flicking.

“dude, it’s called common sense. now move aside!” he shooed the tall boy off the driver’s seat. jaehyun stepped on the gas, heading towards a small town entrance.

they finally reached a couple of stores & restaurants, surveying and asking its townsmen using your family name to locate your residence. maybe they would know which apartment or house you resided in. except that was the twist of their understanding. 

jaehyun and his boys were shocked to know how your family name plastered in posters and brand products displayed at open stores, but were more shocked to see the gazes from the people. 

a little over an hour, they managed to get hold of more information as they were told your house was ten minutes away from the town. jaehyun walked along the pavement to grab something to drink, only to be poked by a young man who was around the same age as they were.  

“hi.” he greeted the unfamiliar man. “i take it you’re looking for the y/l/n’s?”

he took a squint as he observed jaehyun from head to toe, circling around him. “uh-huh, you look like m’lady’s husband-to-be in the pictures.”

“e-excuse me?” jaehyun cleared his throat, seemingly unwilling to have this conversation going.

mark held his laugh per usual, it would take time to get used to jaehyun stumbling his words. 

because the engaged man really wasn’t ready at all. 

“yeap he’s the guy.” johnny popped the ‘p’ with a lollipop in his mouth. jaehyun rolled his eyes, taking the candy stick and tossing it away. he didn’t care about johnny’s scoffs.

the new young lad wore his motorcycle helmet. “sweet.” he prolonged the word. and that was when both mark and johnny lost it. they recalled the pun they entertain themselves with prior to arriving here.

“oh, i work with the town’s famous family,” he showed his i.d. wrapped around his neck. “you can follow me since i’m heading there too.” the three quickly twitched at his quick paced movement. “i’m kunhang by the way, but i’d rather be called hendery. it’s my professional name, it just sounds cooler.”

jaehyun furrowed his brows at the praise. “okay hendery, uhm famous? they’re big time?” he pointed at the posters holding your family name. “how so?”

hendery swung his face shield downwards. “you’ll see.”

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gallops of horses were drumming the entire farm. dust and dirt swirled with the wind in the air and it took a while for the boys to adjust their sights at the distance. hendery dropped a couple of spare boots for them to wear. jaehyun was in awe. horses were majestic animals and though he got to study them, he never seen such a number of them on the fields.

“oh goodness me our guest is here!”

they turned around to voice of a jolly lady, an apron on and folded cuffs from her clothing. “hello there! welcome! you must be jaehyun! my soon to be son-in-law!” she shook his hands and later pulled him for a hug. “oh you look just like your mother!”

“hi mrs. y/l/n. y-yeah, i get that a lot these days,” jaehyun scratched his head. “thanks for having us.” 

her eyes trailed at mark and johnny, and they too, were pulled in for a hug. “i see jaehyun brought along his handsome friends with him! do enjoy your stay here with us!” she caught a glimpse of a figure approaching the crowd. “c’mere baby and meet the boys!”

jaehyun looked over his shoulder, lips parting and exhaled a short breath. she seemed young, she has a pretty face but obviously still in high school. what the? oh g- i’m marrying you?

“pfft no ew. i’m not getting married to you. i’m only 17.” she let out a chuckle, almost sarcastic enough for jaehyun to explode.

crap i said it unconsciously.

your mother lightly slapped her arm. “marg, where’s your sister?” she asked. “i told her to specifically come at the barn 1600.”

“she took jet for a ride. ‘detour’ she said, but i guess she’s on her way here.” she replied and mark choked on his water bottle. marg rolled her eyes. “green minded ass-”

“language marg!” hendery flicked her forehead, the latter held the pain. “the rudeness. sorry, kiddo here is the family’s baby. you’ll see the eldest daughter soon- oh! right on time m’lady!” he waved his hands up high.

jaehyun didn’t know what pissed him off more; one was at himself for being starstruck and in awe at you after his breakup, and two? 

the beautiful black horse you were riding on didn’t seem to be halting. it was trotting at first. you were on its saddle. he squinted his eyes, were you smirking? unbelievable. he thought you were doing this on purpose. no, you were really going to run him over. 

he noticed a change in speed, trotting then galloping on dirt. the sounds of it matched with the beatings of his rising heart. jaehyun took a step back, then it became more than one, until he was worried that he would end up being chased. there were couple of gasps and reminders of voices. he fell on his bum with palms hitting the ground as he breathed heavily, eyes still on you.

the horse listened to your rein, it let out a loud neigh with its front legs heavenwards. your laugh merged with it. “whoa- hey, easy jet, easy.” you cooed the animal, soon removing your helmet and hair flowed like those in shampoo commercials. “i think he got the message.”

jaehyun sat there dumbfounded, his brows drew together. what message? you were centimetres from killing him- wait. he saw you turn cold and your smile disappearing.

bingo! he got it. he knew the reason why you did this. 

you were against the arranged marriage too.

johnny leaned into mark’s ear, who had his hands cupping his lower face. “bro, jet’s a horse so stop giggling and clean your mind.” 

“dude i’m not laughing at that. just look at jae. i’ve never seen him so helpless.” he cackled a laugh. 

once your feet were on the ground, he finally got a better look on you. you were wearing a light wooled grey sweater with denim blue jeans. your hair now on one side and boots stained with dried mud. you took off your gloves to put your hand out for a handshake, one rested around your helmet. “hi, i’m y/n.” you greeted with a smile, ensuring it was fake enough for jaehyun to notice. 

“quite of an entrance.” jaehyun dusted his jeans and groaned at the exerted strength as he stood. “jeong jaehyun. veterinary medicine student..” he was about to grab your hand until you shoved yours into the pockets of your jeans. 

“y/n!” your mom exclaimed with warning. “your manners-” she clamped her lips when you put up a hand, eyes darting at her later at him.

“alright, okay. look mr. i didn’t ask for your field of study and i don’t need to know or do anything with you.”

jaehyun crossed his arms, a fake smile plastered on his face. what an attitude. “apparently you will? because i’m here for the next thirty days.”

“is that so?” you hummed and jaehyun didn’t like how you singsonged.

he knew something was coming and sometimes he thought it was best to keep quiet instead of letting his annoyance towards you spark up. “good, that means you’re helping me out with everything i do here.” he heard you say. “and do things i tell you to.”

“what?” his eyebrows snapped, and for you it was quite entertaining to see this reaction from him. following the trail of your footsteps, jaehyun stomped on wet soil as he stood before you. “hey you can’t just order me around like i’m your staff!”

“of course i can, you’re in my property-” you gestured the land.

“no, it belongs to your parents.” the tone of his voice irked you. he was grinning too.

“i can do whatever i want and choose whenever to help. i’ll only listen orders from mr. and mrs. y/l/n if they want me to do work..” he trailed off, your mother waving at him with admiration— typical as she saw him like an long lost son. “..but i guess not. my mom did say i needed a break from studying too much and she’s totally right. i must be pardoned from labour.”

it was your turn to cross arms and give him a lop-sided smile. the audacity of this man. you felt like ripping all your hair out. “you think staying here would prevent you from doing labour, your highness? sitting on your throne all dignified and at peace? well guess what, just because you’re a guest that doesn’t mean you get to be treated differently-”

you heard him bubble out a forced snicker. what was it this time? “of course it’s different! i am the guy you’re betrothed to-”

“i won’t allow it.” your jaw tightened with lips in a hard line. “a person like you is not worth my time and definitely not someone i’d want to marry.”

he pursed his lips. “wow do people ever tell you how bad of a host you are? you just don’t go shoving assumptions into people’s faces for your own entertainment. we’re humans.”

“i’m only rude to you. and yeah, people are humans. but you’re the devil’s incarnate.” you pulled jet’s reins and led him to the stables in which jaehyun observed how you gave that same smirk from earlier. “see if you’ll enjoy your stay here, hubby.” 

jaehyun clenched his fists and was sure little crescent moons already indented his palms. he only wanted sue to call him that. yet that was useless, they broke up. your face remained in his head and anger filled him up, now boiling so much that he felt a little lightheaded arguing with someone like you. 

he wanted to yell but johnny and mark sandwiched him between them with hendery walking in front. “tsk it’s only the first day and i want to go home.” he scrunched his nose. 

hendery had his palms behind his head, lips jutting to hold his grin. “m’lady—” he corrected himself. “y/n’s not usually like that. it’s a first seeing her so cranky and hotheaded.”

“really? how is she usually like?” mark asked with curiosity. “she seems cool because she smiled at johnny and me before the tables.. y’know, turned.” he shrugged with implications towards jaehyun.

“not cranky and not hotheaded.” hendery opened the door to your house, showing them to the large living area. “a lil’ different today but i tell you, our y/n is a professional equestrian. she’s passionate with what she does and—”

“a horse rider?! passionate?!” jaehyun hissed as he took off his shoes and brown coat, kicking it slightly to the side and hung it on the wall respectively. “she almost killed me!”

johnny hit the back of jaehyun’s head and clicked his tongue. “snap out of it jae, you’re overreacting. we’re at your future in-law’s residence and i think it’s a bad idea to badmouth their daughter.” 

only a low groan escaped out of jaehyun as he refused to listen. “look, first impressions don’t always hit off a good start. but thinking how you both don’t have a say to this arranged marriage, your feelings towards each other are totally understandable.”

jaehyun pressed the bridge of his nose as he took in his friend’s words. if what johnny said was true, was it right for him to begin holding grudge on you on the first day? you barely knew each other. clearly he knew you hated him, yet if his parents were here and saw the whole thing, they’d ask: why risk the chance of not trying? and again, he remembered he was told, people can change. 

—

throughout dinner, he got to know what your family business was and why it was well-known. he didn’t ask questions, they were just told to him like they were comfortable with it. they weren’t bragging either. perhaps it was due to the fact jaehyun would soon be part of this family that they told him the entire story. 

you didn’t show up during the hour and honestly it got jaehyun feeling so much relief since he wouldn’t have to deal with another useless argument. he disliked wasting time and preferred to do this schedule accordingly, so remembering it only made him rage inside. he was glad he wouldn’t have to deal with you tonight. 

except that relief was shortlived. you had to appear right when he thought of you.

great.

he tried to fix himself in his seat on the sofa by the fireplace, averting his gaze upon you while your mother continuously slapped you light on the arms. you probably finished your bath, given that you still have a towel wrapped around your head and a.. robe.

“y/n! have some courtesy! we have guests!” your mother warned as she gestured in front to cover you, apologising to the new boys. hendery immediately stepped in as well, his eyes shutting to a close and pushing you back to the bottom of the staircase. 

“but mom! i’m hungry and there might not have any cookies left if you keep giving it to them-” you were cut off with hendery’s pats.

he brushed his hair. sighing, he had to shoo you away because you were clearly attracting eyes, definitely not the decent kind. “i have a jar prepared for you m’lady so please.. get dressed!”

you quickly ran up as you were told, mumbling and complaining. jaehyun and his friends were definitely at a loss for words. because not only were you careless, you were oblivious too. 

mark scrunched his nose to start a conversation with jaehyun. “looks like she called you ‘hubby’ too quickly.” he closed his lips to contain his laugh. 

“pfft jae your ears really are honest huh?” johnny pointed at them as he held his chest, fistbumping mark for another win. 

he wasn’t going to tell them that he in fact did find you pretty, and the thing was, he shouldn’t be giving a reaction too soon. “it’s the spicy chocolate cookie!” jaehyun defended.

“huh, i didn’t bake any cookie with those flavour-” hendery pondered, but he stopped since he spotted jaehyun begging to help him here.

“you know that we know if you’re lying right?” the two squinted eyes, putting more pressure to the boy to admit what he felt when he saw you earlier. “bet ya felt something.”

afraid that your family could hear them, jaehyun grabbed their shoulders to huddle them in close. he cleared his throat to catch their attention, yet his friends continued their giggles. “i swear if you both embarrass me in front of the y/f/n’s, consider the days with your precious.. phones.”

“ah c’mon dude. don’t do that. we bought our i12’s together-” mark whined.

“then at least help me out here guys. i have a reputation to hold-” 

“oh for being her hubby?” johnny gave a playful grin and soon was replaced with a nervous smile. “okay i’ll zip it.”

he heard your mother facetiming his mom, voices loud enough for him to know that there would be a huge gathering at christmas eve dinner. great, another one i have to deal with.

jaehyun put down his beanie and crossed his arms to snooze for a bit. he had too much going on in his head the whole day that maybe sleeping it off would let him calm down from all feelings he felt tonight. on the sofa, the weight beside him lowered, the scent of freshly baked cookies along with lavender perfume got him peeking under his beanie. 

it was you, who looked like a squirrel happily munching away with your jar of cookies whilst eyes glued to the television.

he smiled a little to himself. so you can have this cute side-

fragments of sue’s face appeared in his mind. right. he was supposed to be heartbroken. he still was. a week into the breakup had remains to his heart. bothered with sue’s ultimatum and your annoying munches, he grabbed your wrists and out at the veranda.

it pissed him because it seemed like he was the only one who cared about both of your futures or actually would do something to change your families’ minds, where as you were carefree with your cookies. “hey!” you held the jar tight in your arms as you quickly slid your feet into your slippers. “rude! i’m eating!”

the rest of the people in the dining and kitchen area grew voices of woohoo’s, jaehyun’s pupils flared at their cheers. “just come with me for a second!” he hissed, turning the knob and closing the door.

“seriously jaehyun you can’t just ruin my happy time! what do you want-”

he looked in between the curtains from the outside, where he could faintly hear his friends talking the embarrassing things about him— especially how he felt for this arrange marriage. “aren’t you pressured or angry at the situation our parents have put us into?” he leaned against a column. “even my friends are joining the wagon.”

you cackled whilst scrolling your phone. “here i thought you only cared about animals, dr. jeong.” hearing how jaehyun scoffed at your comment, you shoved your device in your pockets. “and yes of course i’m mad! what they decided is so against my will.”

jaehyun stared at you and surprised that he actually felt exactly the same. “really? then let’s make a pact. sounds good?” he offered with arms folded while you still were occupied with your phone. “well?”

“why would i listen to you? as far as i know, we already clashed and hate each other.” you rolled your eyes. “what makes you think i’ll agree?”

he sighed. “y/n, i know you don’t want this, i don’t too. at least there’s something we have in common. i’m just thinking that we have to show them we’re not meant to be together. we both have lives we want to live without the other.”

there was a change in his voice. you could tell he was serious and trying to suggest something he’d want you to agree on. “fine, what’s the pact?” you gave an uninterested tone. probably a bad idea, you thought.

“like you said, ‘clash and hate each other’. we have exactly twenty four days to convince them that you, me, us?” he pointed at his chest then yours. “is impossible. twenty four days, it’s until the night of christmas eve.”

actually that’s not bad at all. “hm, that’s easy since i can’t stand you.” you said, now standing up to face him. “even better if we can do this in less than 24.”

“cool, we have to make our fights as natural as possible. no signals or heads-up. full-on make me angry and i’ll do the same. the more we argue the more they’ll believe there’ll never be an ‘us’.” his voice a bit lively than before. “i want my buds to be fooled into this too. just be realistic and- nghf!”

you shoved a huge cookie into his mouth. “tsk, you’re noisy. i get you so shut up. i agreed with the pact, but i have conditions, okay?”

jaehyun nodded as he chewed angrily with his eyes closed, though the cookies’ taste might’ve simmered down his temper towards you. “ha, then i have conditions too-”

“see you in the morning.” he heard you say as the door slammed with the attached bell ringing his ears. 

now that was one of his conditions; no interrupting while he talks. he sighed seeing you head up the stairs. he sighed. “ugh, i can never marry a girl like her.”

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stretching as high as you can, the muscles loosened in every part of your body from riding yesterday. the sun shone its brightest despite the cold weather. you remembered the pact and you knew you would not let a day pass without bothering him. somehow his existence annoyed you to the bone, not even words were enough to explain how you felt. 

at the farthest point your peripheral could reach, you spotted jaehyun peacefully— and actually enjoying— the hammock whilst faintly you heard mark and johnny debating which pronunciation was the correct one. fixing your boots as you walked towards them, the two scurried off to the side, noticing the stomps of your feet getting closer. 

“get up.” you wriggled the hammock, causing it to be lop-sided. 

jaehyun managed to balance himself from the swings. “what the-” his voice hitched. “you’re ruining my relax time!”

you pretended to ponder as you looked up to the sky. “hm, sounds awfully familiar, doesn’t it?” referring to his sudden action towards you the night prior.

“seriously y/n what do you want? i’m in no mood to do work today and i clearly told you last night-” jaehyun fixed his eyes onto your finger that silenced his lips.

jaehyun raised a brow and rolled his eyes. what was your deal? he thought. “condition number one.” you started, bringing your voice down. “starting today you’ll do the work for me and with me. considering you’re taking veterinary science, i’m guessing you know your ways through equine husbandry. so in the coming days you can check the horses’ health while i practice my rounds.”

ah, so that’s what this was about. “uh-huh, but my condition number one is you shouldn’t make me do labour unless you really need it.” jaehyun got off the hammock, chugging his glass of water like it’s one-shot. “it’s the first light, y/n. my service starts in the afternoon.”

“i see. you’re not a morning person.” you checked your nails.

“i so am! but it’s my month long vacation. let me enjoy this before i experience exploitation from you.” he forced a smile that made you want to push him off the veranda.

you walked down the steps and straight to the barn opposite from your house. “it’s either exploitation today or exploitation for the whole month.” you singsonged while you twirled in your stance. hearing him growl meant your tactic worked. “i’ll let you experience the beauty of country side, city boy.”

jaehyun’s brows narrowed as he followed you anyway, later looking back at his friends who were stifling a laugh. “did you just compare me to feces first thing in the morning?”

“did you just boggle up my brain with scientific terms?” you hid a giggle when you heard his friends finally bursting out and losing it. because they too, experienced jaehyun’s sudden blabber of uncommon usage of words, especially conversational-wise. “i made a pun but it seems like you acknowledge the nickname.”

“i did not!” jaehyun pressed his temples. “i may have misheard you but i didn’t acknowledge it! you’re too assuming!”

“mhm sure.. but you are stepping on one though.” you whistled and gestured mark and johnny to the stables.

jaehyun grumbled as he checked the soles of his shoes. indeed he stepped on it and licked his lips in annoyance that it’d be hard to clean it off. the door opened and hendery’s morning face only turned sour at the unsightly view. he tossed another pair of spare boots for him to wear before they both headed to where you all were. 

hendery introduced the things they do here; feed the horses, fix their saddles  repair them if damaged. they were minor things since your family did hire people to do them. and since you and him were professionals in equine sports, he mentioned you both spend all days practicing. 

good, if it was you who toured him around the area, he wouldn’t think lasting a day with your intentions of ruining his mood. though it was part of the pact, it seemed like you enjoyed this a lot more than he expected. hendery brought him to places your family owned, land properties that expanded until the mountains. it’s no wonder you were free to roam around and unafraid of getting lost. 

you made him do a lot. and he was glad he was able to handle, thank heavens. however he didn’t feel much of a challenge from any of them, where you claimed they were ones he couldn’t do. jaehyun lost track of time, the sky was his only companion to tell the hours and probably lost count of the tasks too. all he could remember was the endless bickering, yells and frequent eye rolls. 

in all those, he still let you off the hook— first day of work and all, he has to be patient. and he wasn’t bothered with what you tasked him to do, until his friends stood behind you as you showed them the rest of the horses. 

after you told him to move the bundles of hay he thought was the last, you were currently trying to make mark pet the horses as they were bobbing their heads towards the young man while johnny recorded his reaction. 

“isn’t she all well now.” jaehyun rolled his eyes as he helped hendery lift the infinite bundles. “my friends get the leisure and i have to work?”

hendery laughed as he unbuttoned his collar. “she was told by her mom that you’ll be in her care since you both will get married eventually. plus mrs. y/f/n said it’s a way to get to know y/n too.” he explained, seeing you walk towards them with a hay cart, hands signalling your childhood friend to get some bundles from you. the final bundles were finally fed to the horses, and you skipped your feet to fetch jaehyun.

jaehyun knew you had intentions to make fun of him because the way you walked really pissed him off. so he decided to have his fun too. ”are you that weak you’re unable to carry a small patch? guess my hourly pay needs an increase.” he low-key flexed his muscles. truthfully speaking it was a sight to look at, too bad his attitude didn’t match it.

you rested on one leg while you look at him. he was testing the waters with you, smile slowly resurfacing as you gave even the slightest reaction towards him. oh it’s on. he annoyed you yesterday and would be a lot more in the next coming days. jaehyun leaned forwards that he was towering over you. his body made you feel small but that didn’t stop you from getting back at him.

“the only thing increasing for you is workload.” you hummed, putting back the cart into its place.

he glared at you as if you were dead meat. you ignored him. “i’ve had enough for today. muscles are sore.” hands in his pockets, jaehyun kicked the remains of hay off his shoes before he was stopped by you. “ugh you’re so annoying.” he clicked his tongue. 

“nope, you’re not done until i am. we have to find materials for christmas wreaths at my grandpa’s up north.” you pointed at the mountains as you took hendery’s hands and soon mounted on jet with him.

“oh and i’m supposed to walk there while you’re so relaxed miss bossy?” jaehyun shook his head in disbelief looking at the distance.

“uh yes?” you laughed to yourself. “i don’t think you’ve ever ridden a horse before, but if ever you did, it’s probably at a carnival.”

sudden outbursts of emotions evident on his face now. “was i born under a rock? of course i’ve ridden!” he took the reins given to him by hendery. “and it’s not a carousel!”

for a while he had a certain confidence, his soles stepping on the stirrup and dimples deepening with the strength he gave to put his right leg over. but once that was done and high up off the ground, his heart beat an army per second. cash, hendery’s horse gave loud neigh. jaehyun had done this before as a child and definitely felt like one now. he should be able to handle a 30-minute journey.

jaehyun heard you giggling, perhaps he knew how hideous he looked. despite hendery seated behind you, you led the way for the most part of the ride. you were surprised to see jaehyun have gotten the hang of it. it pissed you a lot because he was vlogging with his phone— sputtering out words to keep the diss battle going. johnny and mark hopped on the available bikes, cycling on your sides, and their laughter rather calmed you than annoy you. 

it pissed you a lot more because you’ve practically ran out of ideas to tell him in return. keeping quiet wasn’t your forte, you were a young woman with plenty of things to say, even more so to jaehyun. going through the woods, you signalled hendery to halt the horse for you and the rest of the boys followed you to gather the materials needed. 

“this shouldn’t be too long to take.” jaehyun looked at the trees towering meters above him, then straight to you who was shaking head in disbelief. “we’re just taking the materials at your grandfather’s and head back, right?”

“did i mention my granddad?” you balanced yourself on large wood log. the tone of your voice started to warm up with bickers you weren’t able to tell him. 

“you did!” jaehyun anticipated this and somehow he didn’t. “now lead the way to his place and we can get the hell out of here.” his eyes grew squints of disgust at his surroundings, as if he hadn’t been into the forest before. his friends went on ahead with hendery around the woods to look for what’s needed.

“nah, we’re picking acorns, pine cones, berries and other leaves by hand. his cottage is just around here but that doesn’t mean the materials are from him. let’s go, whiney.” 

“oh my g-” jaehyun pulled you on the arm and off you went towards him. “y/n i’ve had enough for today and i’m so tired of taking your orders- i’m physically tired of doing things your way and i can’t think straight-”

“pecans?” you said as his eyes crossed to see your palms full of the shelled nuts. “you’re hungry, aren’t you? that’s why you’re so cranky and agitate-y.” placing one but onto a flat rock, you smashed it strong enough for it to crack yet not totally destroying the inside. you popped one into your mouth and gave the most taunting grin jaehyun has seen from you all day. 

he was about to grab the rest of the nuts until you swung your arm that he wasn’t able to reach them. “y/n! give me some!” he yelled and the rest of your friends look at you both after hearing you laugh in the most evil manner.

“never!” you scurried off deeper into the woods. jaehyun rolled his eyes not at how fast you were, but due to how slow he actually was because of the amount of disgust he had.

he knew this would take all day and he didn’t know how long his patience can take for another three weeks with you.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

jaehyun couldn’t describe in words with what he experienced since arriving. if he had to compare with school, it was similar to studying and cramming for hours non-stop. it gotten him mentally exhausted, physically too. but the only difference between being cooping up in his room and doing work outdoors was the continuous nagging from you. 

it was far from quiet. he could handle his mom’s high pitched yells. but you? anything that came from you or done by you made him want to plaster a duck tape on your lips. you were as annoying as a five year old child who looked for someone vulnerable to bully. unfortunately he became your prey because he was in your lands. and though there were times he was able to banter back, he always felt you still had the upper hand.

it was all sunny and good days out in the countryside and jaehyun found that fact the only bright side. he enjoyed it every single morning. yet sometimes good sunny mornings meets its bad, that is, when grey clouds destroyed the beauty of the sky. in this case, it was you. you were far from his dream girl— sue. she was elegant, poised and had a heart of gold. you were the complete opposite who’d rather be rogue and do things your way. other than completing ten christmas wreaths and feeding the horses or more farm work, he couldn’t remember what he did for the past eight days because all that entered his mind was the dictator you. 

but today he felt different, maybe things wouldn’t be as hard than last week. he felt good. he sat at the long dining table with all morning faces exposed. it was currently 7 a.m and your mom have already prepared breakfast. and per usual, you were the only one they waited for before they start the first meal. 

“marg, is your sister still asleep?” your mother put down a large casserole to warm up everyone’s stomach in winter. 

marg only shrugged because for one, she didn’t care, and two, she stated that it wouldn’t be her doing this since jaehyun was marrying you. “oh jaehyun. please do head upstairs to her room and awake y/n up.”

“and why do i have to do this?” jaehyun mumbled to himself and johnny nudged him on the arm. he groaned and got up, his stomps were heavy and unwilling. 

once he was in front of your door, he knocked twice loudly so he wouldn’t have to spend so much time to get you. there was a small tune playing in your room, like it was from a music box. the door was already opened. he peeped through the thin gap, seeing you still sleeping soundly. goodness’ sake, he thought, and entered the room since your mother was asking if he woken you up. 

your room was in fact, neat. all things were organised and arranged. if there was one thing he learned from you other than being an ass, was that you loved stuffed animals. not a hint of dolls or barbies or any toy displayed related to that spectrum. two lines of medals displayed and they all shone in gold. plaques had your names and young portraits of you with smiles of victory. hendery wasn’t lying when he said you were a professional. he wasn’t going to lie— you were impressive despite the little horns coming out of your head.

he stood next to your bed where you were all bundled in a huge blanket. he raised a brow, it was strange for you to have two thick blankets covering you. “hey y/n.”

no response. 

“y/n. wake up, your mom is calling for breakfast and you’re usually the first one seated at the table.” he wriggled your body with the butt of the umbrella and you didn’t budge.

“she baked croissants and aren’t they your favourite? dipped in chocolate ganache and sprinkles?” he tried sounding happy. note that, he tried.

this girl.. he bit the insides of his lips, spotting the markers in a cylinder container and took one to begin drawing on your face. his soft giggles filled your room and the strong scent of markers met your nostrils, waking you from your slumber. 

“what the he- jaehyun?!” you hissed at how close his face was to yours, failed to realising he was done drawing on your morning skin. “get away from me!”

everyone downstairs could hear the both of you, arguing like cats and dogs. each footstep might’ve covered the entire floor above them and the ceiling could give in. 

“you ruined my morning with your ugly face!” “what?! you’re more ugly, ugly!” “you entered my room?! you have no rights!” “breakfast’s ready and your mom asked me to!” “well my nose could’ve smelled mom’s food but i smelled your stinky breath instead!”

“whatever, i finished your share of croissants!” jaehyun quickly head down the staircase.

“you dare eat my food?!” you still had a blanket from head to toe as you followed him down. “no one takes my food!”

“your loss since you’re still in bed you lazy ass!” jaehyun sat beside johnny and continued his meal. “and you were snoring loud too-”

“i did not- agh!” you grumpily sat and immediately eyed the last croissant sitting at the center of the table. all eyes were on you with black ink scribbled on your face. 

there was an awkward silence then you felt jaehyun’s stare at the only food you wanted for breakfast. there was a back and forth battle of stares between you, him and the food. maybe it was the slow reflexes you have in mornings that jaehyun took the bread before you did. he stuck out a tongue as he deliciously ate half of it, chewing slowly just to let you imagine the flavours of sweet silky chocolate. you could feel yourself drooling and the cravings of your stomach rising up to your throat. every chew he did was a stab to your guilty-pleasure heart. 

jaehyun stopped and gave a smug grin. “you wanted this y/n?” his question sounding a song rather than an honest one. “all you have to do is beg.”

you gulped, rolling your eyes. “shut up!” you kicked his knee out of jealousy and savoured the soup instead. 

“ow!” he hissed through a laugh and looked at your mom. “mrs. y/f/n, i’d like to know the recipe for this. do you give lessons?” jaehyun licked the remains of chocolate around his lips, hopefully it was enough to cover up the violence you did under the table.

your mother giggled at his sweet talk. “why learn it from me when you have y/n to teach you?”

you choked on your soup and tear your gaze away from jaehyun to your mother, where she was already enjoying your shocked reaction. “oh give me a private lesson, bulldog terrier.” he propped his chin and mimicked clicks as if he was calling animal.

you quickly touched and rubbed your face to see the ink contaminate your fingers. the spoon reflected the dark circle around your right eye. “oh my g- you! this will be hard to remove!” the fork around your hand pointed directly at him. 

“y/n!” hendery put down your wrists as jaehyun laughed loud. you took the wet wipes marg gave you and whined a little whilst you stood by the mirror behind jaehyun.

“don’t be so bummed out honey.” your mom assured, giving a wink to jaehyun. “it’s a small prank. marg did it to you before.”

checking yourself for the last time at the mirror, you rolled your eyes. “i have enough patience for marg,” with one hand you cupped jaehyun’s lower face from the chin spreading to the cheeks, soon pinching hard on his dimples with a pointer finger and thumb. “but none for the human bread.”

“ow don’t touch me!” jaehyun swifted his head to look at you and he saw you flashed a smile like you were satisfied. 

“a human bread with molds. ew, i lost appetite so i’ll be out for a ride.” you stood up to grab your coat. “see ya ugly.”

“remember to you have to clean the barn house y/n!” your mom called out.

“yeah got that!”

johnny and mark bent their heads down and let their friends suffer from multiple dots on his faces. what made it funnier was that jaehyun munched happily on his meal, hadn’t gotten a single clue. he then eyed you when you passed the window and straight to the stables. “isn’t it too early for practice?” he drank his cup of hot chocolate. 

“she can ride all day. sometimes she doesn’t arrive home and the next morning you see her sleeping in the barn house.” marg tied her hair into a high bun. “the amount of dedication is there, except the passion she used to have isn’t really there anymore- hey!” she glared at hendery who gave her a warning look. 

what was that all about? jaehyun thought while his eyebrows met together and good thing it wasn’t obvious to your family. he was indeed curious, but he’d rather hear it from you than to look like a jerk who wanted to gossip about personal lives. the thing was, it’s you. though majority of the week was him suffering with workload, he liked to bicker with you until you gave up and had nothing to say. 

so far he recorded as 5-11 in terms of owning the other. the latter was his score and he was proud of it.

hendery’s phone vibrated and slid it to jaehyun’s place. jaehyun blinked to adjust his sight to the brightness of the phone. a sigh came out of his lips and the rest of them could tell it was another order from you. “ooh that doesn’t sound good.” mark slurped his soup. 

“it’s not.” jaehyun brushed his hair and hesitation slowly crept his body. “she asked me to clean the upper floor of the barn by the time she arrives.”

—

jaehyun massaged his wrists by twisting them. he looked at the barn house’ entrance because he noticed a figure approaching. you’ve had the best morning after jaehyun ruined it. as you rode, nothing beats the freshness of the cool wind. you love riding through the woods and grasslands. it sets you free from everything keeping you caged. your smile began to falter when you saw jaehyun who was not even halfway close to finishing. “you’re late. your mom had to apologise on your behalf because i’m doing the job for you.”

“ooh thanks! i’ll count on it!” you laid comfortably on a chair.

“hey!”

you leaned against the furniture, arms crossed where he was a floor above and standing at your 2 o’clock view. “dr. jeong it looks like you’re having a hard time. need help?” you stifled a laugh because he still has the ink marks you left on his face.

“on with the assumptions again, aren’t we?” he fixed his gloves and moved wooden planks from one place to another. 

“yeah you make yourself too easy of a target, jaehyun. and i thought you’re the type to not take things seriously.” you tied jet’s reins to a pole.

“you’re forgetting my condition number two, you can only badmouth me if the others are around. now get your flat butt up here and move the tool box aside so i can continue what i’m doing.” he grunted whilst lifting. 

dusting your pants, you were now standing a storey high. the sight of the height below you made you sick. jaehyun nudged your arm and you took the items blocking his way. you sighed and he noticed how fidgety you were. he put up a small smile. his entertainment from you didn’t end at the breakfast table. 

he scooted closer to you, pretending to bump into you with the pile of tall wooden planks in his arms. he heard you hiss, and that was the signal to begin. “oops didn’t see you there shorty.” there was a change in his voice, a more aggressive type of approach. 

“you’re doing that on purpose.” you checked the pained area of your forearm.

“what if i’m not? it could be an honest mistake.” he tilted his head away from the wood to see you.

a held-in soft disbelief laugh came out of your lips. “honesty doesn’t really blend in well with you.” 

jaehyun gasped with arched brows. “wow i’m very offended— you think this face..” he largely gestured himself. “would ever lie?”

“if you want to hear me saying you’re handsome.. it’s not happening.“ you took the rope to hang on a nail. 

“but you did say it.” he singsonged and you could push him off the loft but that could only happen in your head. 

“then that’s an honest mistake.” you flashed a forced smile at him. you carried the boxes stacked upon one another. “if you have a huge ego like that i bet you never dated. no girl would ever date you.” 

jaehyun fell silent, his mood to bash you suddenly changed. the shifts in his steps became heavier and as if he was putting his anger upon them. he didn’t like being reminded of sue, even if you unconsciously did so. “can’t you just keep quiet as you work? do you always have something to say? keep your damn mouth shut if you think all the fun you get is from belittling people.”

“okay sheesh sorry i didn’t know you have a heart for people too.” you removed your helmet to relieve the discomfort from it. 

as time passed— two hours to be exact, the more your guilt begin to seep in you. jaehyun never spoke after that. silence was like death at this point. not a hint of sniffs and sighs from him. did you go too far that he actually chose not to talk anymore? all you thought about was the pact he suggested. what now? anyone could appear any moment. 

this wasn’t like you at all. you hesitated to talk to him and to give the first move to bicker. you stood there staring at him piling boxes after boxes and sweeping the floor where dust accumulated like piles of sand. you bit your lips because screw this, you hated this atmosphere, you hated this silent treatment. “j-jaehyun?” you called out.

nothing. 

“hey-”

“hm? guilt eating you up now?” you froze at his voice as he chuckled. “it has, hasn’t it? look at your face!” he was laughing, his hands holding his ballooning stomach. “y/n you should’ve seen yourself!”

your gaze followed his hands that quickly took his phone placed at one corner. he was recording and your obliviousness blinded you. “oh you have no idea how much i wanted to laugh! my cheeks hurt so bad! hahaha!”

“you’re not using that to blackmail me!” you strided towards him.

he put his arm high as you struggled to reach it. “i might as well do that thanks for the idea!” faintly you heard his friends coming to check as to why their friend had the laughter of the century, only to find you both bickering again like this morning.

“delete that video jaehyun! i mean it!” “not until you agree to clean the loft!” “that’s like telling me to do everything!” “then that’s exactly what i’m telling you to do!”

johnny put up his phone to recording the struggling you and jaehyun enjoying his time to take advantage of his height. “dude i’ve never seen jaehyun this happy since sue broke up with him.”

“yeah his dimples are legit showing it’s scary me.” mark squinted at the two of you.

jaehyun swung his arms to avoid your attempted catches. he scrunched his nose and although that was undeniably cute, you couldn’t afford to feel humiliated for another two weeks. “jaehyun please delete it!”

“it’s not convincing enough you know?” “stop joking around we could fall!” you hissed. “fall?! then stop trying to get my phone!” “then put down your ridiculously long arm!” “yours are just too short!” “i swear— delete the footage!”

“you have to sound like you beg for it—” he cackled and with a few stretches you managed to reach his wrists as you lunged forwards. “oi stop!” that one last reach only made jaehyun lose his balance and fell backwards. 

and all you heard were yells of worry.

to say that you both gladly fell on soft pillows of hay was an understatement. at least that what it looked like to your friends. jaehyun was shocked, his arm felt numb. he took a good look at you and there you were laying on his arm with pale lips. “hey, you okay?” his hands were already out to help you. “y/n—”

“m’lady!” hendery rushed to you, causing jaehyun to flinch at the tone of his voice. he gently took your right arm, but you gritted your teeth and asked him to take the left. “painful?”

“not that serious.” you said, feeling the stares from jaehyun. “ew don’t look at me like that. i’m fine, really. let’s just call it a day.” you gave a small smile and he wasn’t buying it.

because jaehyun saw you clung onto hendery for dear life. 

[karlyfr13s]

Oathkeeper, Chapter 3

Thank you: @veryverynotgood my phenomenal beta--you keep me going when I'm busy wallowing in doubt, and you make me less of a walking run-on (hooray!).

Bless y'all: the CSMM Discord crew--it's like a community of flails, encouragement, and collaboration...such magic!

Head's up: No description of violence nor abuse; however, they are mentioned.

AO3 Links: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

Most days, Killian occupied himself either by helping Granny with the more physically taxing chores around the inn and diner or on board his ship ensuring her seaworthiness. Granted, the Jolly was in top form and she certainly had no need of repairs nor did she have a heading before her; but it quieted his mind to see to her every need and to painstakingly mend every frayed hem of a sail and worn bit of paint. Lately, he’d taken to wandering Storybrooke as Granny increasingly gave tasks over to young Felix.

The boy was coming along, a bit less surly now. Killian was certain this was due to Ruby’s unending praise of his efforts--no sixteen year-old lad could resist her charms. He’d had a hard time containing his laughter when he witnessed the latest scene: Ruby, clad in a button-down shirt she must have sewn onto herself each morning, batting her eyes at young Felix as she asked for his help bringing up kegs from the cellar. The boy had practically tripped over his own feet as he scrambled to assist, then struggled mightily as he puffed up the stairs with a metal cylinder that likely outweighed his slight frame. Killian had watched as Felix professed the task “no problem”, but had also seen his eyes widen to immense saucers when Ruby cheerfully called there were only “five more to go”. At that, Killian offered his assistance quietly, assuring the boy Ruby would never know that he had not fulfilled the task single-handedly. She was occupied cleaning up after the lunch crowd filtered out, so Killian helped Felix make short work of the task before ducking out the back and allowing the young man credit for the entire endeavor.

Today, however, there was little for him to do and it made Killian antsy. He took to wandering the shore as his mind drifted to the Crocodile, the Princess, and the confusion of his present state of affairs. His increasingly cloudy thoughts were interrupted by a shouted “Ahoy, Captain Hook!” and Killian’s eyes snapped to a strange wooden contraption where young Henry Mills stood, waving to him and grinning from ear to ear.

“Good afternoon,” he sketched a brief bow to the boy as he stepped up to what he now realized was Henry’s castle. Emma had mentioned it in passing as the place the young lad took refuge in his own thoughts, an all-too-familiar notion for Killian. “I was given to understand this time of day was set aside for studies, lad. Or am I mistaken?” He raised an eyebrow up at the boy who shook his head, informing Killian school had ended an hour ago.

“My moms are busy though,” he explained simply. “Regina has a meeting with someone who wants to open a new store, and Emma is in the mines because ‘ the dwarves are flipping out about some property rights ’.” Killian chuckled at the boy’s impression of his mother. He was invited into Henry’s castle where the two sat and looked out at the waves lapping against the shore. At first, the conversation was largely Henry reporting out about his school day. It seemed he was struggling with something math-related, and while Killian’s formal schooling was long behind him, he did offer the boy assistance.

“If, that is, your parents will allow it,” he added quickly, unsure where he stood in the strange dynamic of this town and particularly this family.

Henry snorted at that. “Regina might get weird about it, but she’s trying to make up for the whole...Evil Queen thing, so I think I can manage one mom. The other mom…” he shrugged “I don’t think she’d mind as long as I’m not asking her the math questions. She said it was her least favorite subject in school.”

Killian steeled himself for his next question, taking a deep breath and levelling his gaze at Henry. “And your father?”

Henry made a face at that. “I don’t really know,” he admitted in a tone Killian couldn’t quite decipher. “He was supposed to pick me up from school today,” Henry tucked up his knees and rested his chin on them in a pose Killian had seen Emma take up as well. It seems they both made themselves smaller in these moments of questioning.  “I don’t know if he forgot, or if something came up...I don’t think he knows what to do with me.” Henry peeked up at Killian, looking so uncertain of himself that it nearly broke the man’s heart. He knew what it was to feel on uneven ground with one’s father, to feel more a burden than a blessing, and he refused to allow Henry’s mind to wander those dark halls. While he could offer no real comfort when it came to the man Neal seemed determined to remain, he could offer a promising distraction that should spark young Henry’s curiosity.

“Well, whatever may be delaying him, it certainly has come at an opportune moment for me. Would you care to join me on board the Jolly , Master Mills? It’s past time she received an inspection from a keen eye such as yours.” The boy’s face lit up immediately and he jumped up, grabbing a device from his jacket pocket. After a moment’s pause, Killian heard a tinny version of Emma's voice as Henry hurriedly explained the plan to his device, suppressing a smile as Henry rolled his eyes at his mother’s questions.

“Yes, we’ll stay in the harbor,” he glanced at Killian who nodded along. “Yes, I will stay away from the railing and listen to everything--did you just call him Killian ? That’s weird, Mom, he’s a Captain...well, you’re supposed to address him by title because it’s his ship, of course…yes, yes, no….Mom, I’m not gonna die. I’m gonna go around the harbor with a master sailor…”

Killian knew the lad had won out when a rushed series of ‘thank you’s’ left his mouth before he tucked the device away once more. “She says, ‘tell The Captain that if you come back with one hair out of place, I’ll shave his off with David’s longsword’. She’s just being weird, I know we’re gonna be great--let’s go!” The lad took hold of Killian’s hook and led him down the small stairs onto the sand, setting off in the direction of his ship.

Once aboard, Henry was clearly overcome with curiosity. His return trip from Neverland hadn’t afforded him much time to explore or ask questions. In fact, he’d largely been asleep from pure exhaustion. For Killian, the afternoon with Henry was a remarkable chance to see his ship through the eyes of another. The boy’s questions seemed endless, and while they started with simple questions of identification--what parts of the rigging were called, the names of the various decks and quarters--they quickly expanded to encompass how everything came together to make her sail. His enthusiasm was infectious, and it brought Killian so fully out of his earlier sour mood that it nearly felt like Henry had his own kind of magic.

“Okay, but how do you get up to the crow’s nest?” Henry scrutinized the location through narrowed eyes. Killian stepped in behind him, pointing out the most logical route through the rigging. “Cool! Can I try?”

“I...don’t think that’s wise, lad. I prefer my head firmly attached, and your mother may well remove it if she finds out I let you free-climb the rigging.” Henry turned to face him, a mischievous smirk on his face as he intoned that she didn’t have to know about it.

“While I appreciate the enthusiasm, I need her to like me far better than she does before I conspire against her wishes. A rogue can only get away with so much when it comes to the tenacity of a mother,” he winked, and hoped like hell the boy would let it go. Of course, as Emma’s child he should have known that would be improbable at best.

“Oh, she likes you well enough.” Killian furrowed his brow at this while Henry grinned. Obviously the lad knew how to catch his attention, though just how aware he was of what Killian felt for Emma was still unclear-- the notorious Captain Hook, bested by a child . “You earned a ton of points with her in Neverland,” Henry clarified. “I know she didn’t tell me everything, but she did tell me you saved my grandpa, and I already know you saved me. Since she just got this part of her family back, you gotta know that earned you like...a million points in her eyes. You could totally stand to lose a few of them and teach me how to get up there.”

It took Killian another five minutes to finally persuade Henry that rather than risk a broken arm, or worse, he should simply ask Emma for permission before he learned to scout from above. The cost of negotiations wasn’t much, Henry simply wanted to learn to steer the ship, and so Killian guided him in his quest as they toured the harbor together. The lad had adventure in his blood, that much Killian was certain of, and it seemed he just might be falling in love with the sea as well. The idea tugged at Killian’s heart, as did the pure joy he saw in the boy’s face when they returned to port after the successful little journey.

After receiving a message on his device, Henry mentioned needing to return to his grandparents’ loft, and Killian was happy to escort him, listening to Henry’s re-telling of their afternoon on the Jolly and basking in the shared moment. To hear Henry tell it, you’d think they’d travelled across a realm or two rather than simply around Storybrooke’s small harbor.  He wondered how the boy would tell it to his mother and what she would think. Would she be angry at Killian and think he had overstepped? Would Henry mention his father’s neglect today?

His thoughts were interrupted when they arrived at the door and Henry flung his arms around Killian. He hesitated only a moment before returning the fierce embrace. “Thanks, Captain,” the boy grinned up at him. “Next time, I’m going up that rigging though. And I’m learning how to use your spyglass up there, right? I wanna see everything--as far out as I can!”

Killian chuckled, “So long as you have it in writing from your mother, aye lad.”

---

Two nights later, Killian awoke to someone pounding on his door in the middle of the night and he bolted upright, grabbing his hook from the bedside table as he crossed the pitch-black room. He swung the door open to reveal a distraught Emma Swan, her eyes red-rimmed and puffy, and her fingers tapping an uneven rhythm at her side.

“I didn’t know where else to go, but I couldn’t stay in that loft for another minute,” she explained, voice cracking. “Can I come in?”

Killian stepped aside, allowing her to pass before he followed and shut the door behind them, clicking on the lamp by the bed and sitting down. There was little room, and she took a spot near him on the bed, her right leg bouncing as she stared down at the floor. He gave her a moment, but when she showed no signs of relaxing he gently spoke her name, “Swan?” Her leg stilled and she looked up, tears tracking down her cheeks. “Swan, what’s wrong?”

As he waited for her response, Killian wracked his memory--what had happened over the course of the last few days? He’d seen her in the diner each morning when she picked up her coffee and there had been no hint of whatever was on her mind. He’d run into her at the library when Henry was doing research for a school project and he was reading up on this realm’s history, but she’d been perfectly fine and that was only yesterday. They’d even discussed finding volunteer work for Felix as he was starting to grate on Granny’s nerves, Swan mentioning it may be best if the boy also enrolled in school. What could have changed so much since yesterday? He searched her eyes and waited, hoping she would reveal the problem in due time.

“I yelled at them,” she murmured at last, dropping her eyes back to the floor.

“Pardon? At whom?” He’d seen Emma yell at a fair number of people, himself chief among them, and didn’t recall her reacting in this way before.

“My parents,” she clarified, “I yelled at Snow White and Prince Charming of all people, and I know I hurt them...she was crying when I left the loft, but I was just...I was so angry with them that I couldn’t, I mean, I can’t be there right now.” She sniffed, and Killian saw her shoulders start to shake. He took a risk, trying his hand at comfort when he slipped an arm around her shoulders and to his surprise she willingly leaned into him. Silence fell between them. He knew there was far more to the story, but wanted to let her move at her own pace and tell it in her way rather than pry it out of her.

She wiped her eyes and took a few slow, deep breaths. “I’m sorry I woke you up,” she started, “I don’t know what I was doing, I just had to get out and you were the only person I thought might answer the door this late.”

“Always available to help a lady in distress, Swan,” he tried a light jest and was rewarded with poke to his ribs. “Oww--just going to wake a man up and bruise him in his own room?” He pulled back to smile at her and she immediately scooted away, a blush blossoming on her cheeks. It was then he realized they’d never shared a touch that gentle and intimate. Yes, they had kissed-- and gods what a kiss it was --but moments before he’d been granted permission to hold her. It was just the two of them in the quiet hours of the night, and she had spent these vulnerable moments cradled against his bare chest. He cleared his throat and asked softly, “What was it that upset you so? Is there something I can do to help?”

She shook her head, tucking her legs under her as she chewed her bottom lip. With a huff, she continued. “They asked if I wanted to have family dinner, and that’s kind of...new, but I went with it. So Regina dropped Henry at the loft and I thought it was going to be--anyway, it wasn’t what I thought. Neal showed up ten minutes later.” She was picking at the quilt on the bed and wouldn’t meet Killian’s eyes, probably for the best given the sneer he couldn’t quite hide. “I didn’t want to make a scene in front of Henry, so I just went along with things at dinner. I figured I could deal with a couple of hours, plus the kid is a hell of a buffer and good at keeping everyone talking, but I know he didn’t show up the other day when you and Henry went sailing. I know when Henry talks Neal only half listens.” She paused for a long while, and Killian crossed the room, offering her the flask he pulled from the pocket of his greatcoat.

She took a swig and rolled her shoulders, visibly trying to relax before turning back to face him. After a soft word of thanks, she continued. “When Henry left, Neal stuck around. My parents offered him a nightcap and asked if he’d like to stay over .” It didn’t take the experience of Dr. Hopper to see she was disturbed by this. “And I lost it. I am so sick of their meddling, and their bizarrely perfect vision of him that I completely snapped. I spit out the whole story--”

Killian sat up straighter at this, aware she’d built up momentum and certain he was about to have another piece of the puzzle that was Emma Swan click into place.

“How he’d preyed on a goddamn homeless teenager, offering her shelter when he knew she didn’t have any of her own. How he knocked up a fucking seventeen year old and left her to rot in jail for his crimes, never bothering to admit his own guilt, never checking in to learn he’d fathered a child,” her tears flowed freely and her eyes blazed like emerald fire. “I told them the truth. That he was a predator, and I was too young and stupid to know better, and that I didn’t have the luxury of having anyone to warn me about people like him, of having anyone who cared enough to see the situation for what it was.”

Her breathing hitched and Killian instinctively reached for her, pulling her into a tight embrace and stroking her hair as she lost the final shreds of her composure. She sobbed against him and he murmured to her small comforts, that it would be all right and she didn’t have to be alone. After a while, her sobs diminished, lessening to sniffles and gasping breaths. He rubbed slow circles on her back and she finished her tale, tone empty and defeated, “I told them exactly what I finally realized: that I was abused by the man they keep inviting into our family, and that I cannot be in that place if they really think I’m supposed to patch things up with him and act like none of this happened, like it didn’t matter that he used me and threw me away.”

His heart broke for her, eyes stinging with unshed tears as he listened to the culmination of her loss and pain. “I don’t know how to face them again,” she mumbled against Killian’s chest, sagging against him in complete exhaustion. He assured her she needn’t think of that now, that what she needed was rest. And he offered to share the space with her. She nodded quietly, taking the offered shirt and pants and leaving to change in the adjoining bathroom.

Killian lay back, propped up on a pillow while his mind processed all she’d told him. He knew without a doubt her parents would mend this relationship, though it may well take time. He knew as well that whatever he’d promised Neal, that oath had been needless. In fact, the larger problem Killian now faced was how to make it through the next twenty-four hours without gutting Neal with his hook. The man had taken advantage of Emma, had framed her for his crime, and had abandoned her. It seemed Bae had become his father after all, and that did not bode well for him in Killian’s eyes.

His violent contemplations were interrupted by a bashful looking Emma, clad all in his own black attire and softly padding across the small room. “I’ll take the side by the door, Swan. Old habits, you know,” he nodded toward the cutlass by the bed and his hook which once again lay atop the nightstand. She smiled sheepishly as she slid under the covers next to him, offering a soft word of thanks and curling up with her back to him. He clicked off the light, desperately hoping she couldn’t hear the pounding of his heart as Killian tried like hell to fall back asleep.

Thanks for reading! Tagging the usual suspects: @kmomof4, @teamhook, @gingerpolyglot, @hollyethecurious, @caught-in-the-filter, @lonelyspectator12, @donteattheappleshook

[amethystpath-writes]

There is a legend of an enchanting princess who lives inside a giant tower, far away from civilization and deep in the forested mountains. They say that the birds bring her food and water, and every dawn and dusk she looks out her window for any wandering travelers. Every knight that has gone in search of her never returned.

But she is not a damsel trapped inside her prison. She is the guardian of its treasure, and will show no mercy to whoever dares attempt to take it.

(This is very random lol. Have fun!)

“It’s said the princess has hair of gold. Weighs like a normal head of hair, but anything but. And she’s alone- in the forest, surrounded by mountains. Do you know how many carriages have wrecked in the mountains? How many of them have fallen off into the seas?”

Gargon shook his head and tipped it back with a tankard held against his lips. Just a drop of ale left. With a sigh, he smacked it back down on the table and waved at the barkeep. He said to his friend while he waited, “Just myths. What princess gets left alone in a tower for years? Before you answer, I’ll tell you myself; none.”

The barkeep returned with a pitcher of ale and poured it into Gargon’s tankard.

Jemis, Gargon’s buddy, shrugged. “You might not think so, but I fancy the idea. And anyway, I misspoke a bit. The girl isn’t entirely alone. The birds- sparrows, robins, and hawks alike- bring her food. Either way, she stays on the lookout for travellers to find her.”

“Yeah?” Gargon took a swig of his drink. “What about dairy? Do the birds give her milk, too?”

“I don’t know, Gargon, but don’t you find it all even the slightest bit intriguing? Don’t you want to know for yourself?”

Laughing heartily, Gargon knocked his friend’s shoulder with his own. “You have a crush on the legend lady, don’t you?”

Jemis flustered, shoulders bouncing with uncertainty of what to say. His ears were becoming red; he could feel them heating up. “Of course not. I don’t know her, but I’d at least like to know she exists.” He smiled a bit. “And there’s treasure. Did I mention that part?”

“I’ll tell you what. You buy me half of the drinks I had tonight, and we’ll go out to find this forest-mountain princess with gold hair and bird friends. Maybe I can ask her where her dairy comes from.”

“Maybe use a different wording for that question when we get there.”

“Assuming she’s real. Are you paying?”

Jemis dug a pouch out from his belt, peeked inside, shrugged, and tossed it on the counter. “Paid. All of it. Can we go?”

Gargon held a finger up before closing his eyes and sludged his tankard back again, chugging the contents. Jemis shook his head; he was never one for drinking like his best friend was.

Slamming the tankard on the bar, Gargon stood, reaching behind himself and clapping Jemis on the back. “You ready, Sir Lancelot?”

You’d have thought the non-drinking friend was drunk by the way he practically fell from his stool. He followed after Gargon: one, because that was his adventure buddy, and two, because he was afraid Gargon would fall without assistance.

**

It wasn’t a long journey, but it was a dangerous one. Gargon nearly got swept away in a strong stream because his drunk brain stole his balance and common sense.

Jemis near regretted even mentioning the legend princess. But as the trip continued, he began thinking of the little joys; one such being that his friend was thankfully wearing his armour. Otherwise, Jemis listened to the birds chirping, and he imagined they were gathering berries for the rumoured girl in a tower. Why he was so fascinated, he had no idea. Fantasies were fun, and wouldn’t it be amazing to find that one of them was real? And if it was so nearby, why not chase it? What was the harm?

“You see that?”

“Hm?” Jemis stopped in his tracks and turned to look at his friend. Gargon was pointing, and though looking at a finger didn’t tell him where exactly to look, as Jemis looked in the general direction, he saw it. Stone. In just the near distance, maybe a hundred yards away.

“Probably some ruin.”

“I’ll tell you what ruin is, and it’s you ruining the moment, you arse. It’s the princess’ tower. The legend is true.”

Gargon grumbled something along the lines of, “You mad, scrawny lad.” He acted like a fifty-year-old man, but in all reality, both men were barely above the age of twenty.

“Come on, we should keep going.”

“Or we could make a shelter. It’s getting dark, Jemis.”

Looking up at the darkening sky, Jemis almost agreed. But they were so close, so close to that stone tower, so close to meeting the princess with gold hair. “We’re almost there. Surely, she will let us stay in the tower. You know there are wolves and the like out at night. It’s better to be in an already occupied tower than to lay in a tiny shelter made of twigs and leaves.”

Even drunken, Gargon shook his head with a huff. “I’m starting to regret making a deal with you.”

“Oh, come on,” Jemis began walking again, watching the ground, and stepping over rocks and twigs, and all else that the forest floor liked to use to trip people. “It isn’t a far walk. We’ll be there before the moon is up.”

“I can see the moon, it’s behind our heads.”

Jemis looked back and bit his lip. “Torches, from the- from the tavern we just left.”

“Right. Well, we are losing your so-called ‘daylight’ and gaining more ‘torchlight’ so keep walking before it’s gone altogether.”

And so, they walked.

**

The tower was…not very impressive, believe it or not. It was a sad, short thing in comparison to the stories- though still tall enough to see over the tress- with moss growing over it and with holes here and there. Still, Jemis fully believed a princess was hidden away inside.

“Well?” Gargon prompted as his friend just stood there in front of him, staring up at an empty window. “Are we going in or standing out as wolf bait?”

“We go in, of course.”

“Right. Sorry I had to ask. It wasn’t as if we were just standing and gazing at it. What was I thinking?” He huffed. “You know, this whole adventure has managed to make me sober and I’m not happy about it.”

Jemis shushed his friend as he walked towards an old and rotting wooden door. It heaved open and Jemis- in all his glorious skin and bone, fell to the ground, earning a bumble of laughter from Gargon. “Shut up,” he muttered, standing, and dusting himself off.

They took a look at the square room they were in. It was nicer than the outside, more cleaned up, even if there were… bundles of straw? Why was there straw? Jemis dismissed it shortly, figuring maybe it was just the birds. In any case, it was all only pressed up against one wall and it was hardly noticeable if you weren’t deliberately looking for interesting finds.

It was dark, the only light coming from the various holes of the building and slits between stones, which both Jemis and Gargon supposed were meant to be windows.

There were stairs in the back left corner. Jemis took the first step.

“I don’t know about this,” Gargon said with a hand clenched around his buddy’s arm. “We can’t see up there. Whoever- if there is someone- they have the advantage against us.”

Jemis scoffed, pulling his arm away. “It’s fine. I told you the myths. The only thing that is up these stairs is-”

“Hello?”

The men went still as their gaze shifted up the stairwell.

“Is there someone down there?”

Smiling, Jemis looked at Gargon, mouthing, ‘What’d I tell you?’

“Princess? I am Sir Jemis, and my friend behind me-”

“Sir Gargon.” Oh, now he wanted to speak up.

A chirp sounded above the men and a bird came flying down, swooshing above their heads and making them both duck before it retreated upstairs again. Jemis couldn’t help the smile taking over his lips. The legend was real. It was proving itself further, and further, and further.

“May we enter what room you are in, Princess?”

Silence followed for a moment, but then there was another chirp and the princess answered. “The man at the bottom of the stairwell, leave your sword.”

Gargon looked to his hip and squinted before glancing up at the staircase again. He placed a hand on his weapon but didn’t remove it from its scabbard. “It stays with me at all times.” Gargon slept with his sword. He wouldn’t give it to a dirty floor of an old tower when, especially when demand by some random girl who shouldn’t have even known he had a sword.

“Then leave my home.”

Jemis pressed Gargon with a glare. “Just put it down. It’ll be there when we return.”

He shook his head. Absolutely not.

The feminine voice said, “If you do not lay it down- or otherwise leave- I will assume you are just another one of them.”

“One of who, Your Highness?”

The bird came flapping down again, this time flying to the wall where Jemis and Gargon noticed the various piles of clumped straw. It took a bundle in its beak and began slamming it rather viciously against the stone floor. The bundle wasn’t soft as it hit the ground. No. It made a hollow- but also solid- sound.

Gargon’s eyes widened. “Are those…”

“Bones,” the girl upstairs finished. “I am no damsel in distress, but I do like company. Some men took that to their advantage when they saw me- with me being what I am and all.”

“Jemis, we’re leaving. Come on, I feel better about wolves than I do about being here.” He casted a nervous glance at the bird, still beating a bone against the ground. Gargon grabbed his friend’s shoulder. “Let’s g-”

“Hold on,” Jemis whispered, and he stepped forward, head tilting like he saw something he fancied or was curious about.

As Gargon looked up, he saw it, too. Gold. The most glorious gold he’d ever seen. He was never one for the precious metals; he liked jewels, mostly, but this…he didn’t even know his mouth was open until he caught a cool breeze with it and snapped his lips shut.

“Drop. Your. Weapon.” The princess stepped fully into view, right at the top of the stairwell. Her skin was golden, and her hair, as well. Not only this, but her eyes were golden, too. She was…she was beautiful. She was magnificent. She was unimaginable.

Gargon nodded, wrapping his fingers around the grip of his sword, and pulling it away before dropping it on the ground. “Yes, Your Highness. I apologize if I made you feel threatened.” He bowed, and Jemis followed suit in a rather dazed way.

“You are forgiven. Now, come upstairs and tell me some stories. I do not have the pleasure of hearing them often.”

Jemis nodded, but all he could think about was how true and yet how wrong the rumours were. The princess was real, and she did live in this tower, and she did have some odd relationship with birds, but the treasure…The stories were told as if there were piles of gold. No one said the princess was the treasure herself.

Gods, her eyes were so enchanting as she watched the two men climb the stairs. They were golden, yes, but not in a solid metal kind of way. They swirled as if the stars also pooled in her eyes and were being stirred in with the gleaming yellow and orange. The men were entranced.

The room they walked into wasn’t special. It was just like the downstairs minus the….the human bones…and there was furniture in here, which was nice. They all sat in individual chairs made of creaking wood.

“It isn’t often I have two knights come to save the day.”

“Oh, I- I wasn’t- I didn’t think-”

“He was unsure if you were real or not,” Gargon filled in. “No saving intended.”

Jemis nodded rapidly. “I mean, if you needed help then we could- but you are handling yourself, so I- so we don’t…um…I apologize.”

The princess hummed sweetly. “What about you, swordsman? Did you believe in my existence?”

“N-no. I did not.”

“You have a scar on your eye,” Jemis muttered, and he hadn’t meant to be heard, but he was.

Touching her brow, where the scar was most noticeable, she sighed, looking to Gargon. “You understand why I demanded you put your sword down, yes?”

“Of course.” Gargon looked away from the princess’ beautiful eyes, looking instead at his lap, then his buddy, and his lap again when he noticed Jemis simply ogling the girl. “I am sincerely sorry. I had no idea that you…I am sorry.”

She laughed, and both men felt themselves smiling at the sound. Like caramel or something sweet, Jemis thought.

“You two are the most apologetic I have ever met. Tell me, do either of you have precious loves at home?”

“We don’t! Do not. Uh. We do not, Princess.”

Her smile fell into something mischievous. She stood from her seat, walking over to Jemis, then walking behind him, allowing her fingers to trail around his neck as she stepped. “Do you desire a strong love in your life?”

“Do I? I-I think every-everyone does.” He couldn’t think with her golden skin touching his own rather bland skin. “Gargon! You- aha- you talked about settling down when we were in the tavern, didn’t you?”

No. He didn’t. He and Jemis never even came close to discussing relationships because neither of them wanted it. They were knights- soldiers. Love had no place for them even if they wanted it. Sure, romance was glorified in the stories, but it wasn’t real, not when you could be sent off to war at any moment. Love was a fairytale, and even with the stunning princess in the room, he still didn’t believe love was one of them. Jemis suddenly did, though. And it wasn’t right because this was the first time he ever fancied it.

The princess made her way to Gargon, doing to him what she did to Jemis, dragging her beautiful skin against his. “Your colour contrasts greatly against mine,” she whispered, her hand stopping at the base of his neck as she bent down to his ear. “I dare say you are as beautiful as I am.”

“Flattering, Your Highness, but unlike my friend, I have duties to fulfil.”

“Am I not allowed to flirt with a knight?” Her lips turned against his ear and he took a shaky breath. “And anyways, who said I had deeper intentions? At least with you.” The princess pulled away from Gargon and began a leisurely stroll towards the open-mouthed Jemis once again.

Gargon stood with a dry mouth. “Jemis, we need to return home. Thank you for allowing us to stay, Your Highness, but I-”

She brought a finger to her lips. “He cannot hear you now.” The princess giggled, and this time it sounded closer to poison than sugared treats. “Your mind is very strong, Sir Gargon. I might like to keep you for a little while longer. Sir Jemis, however…”

Her Highness sighed and did the same finger-around-the-neck that she did before. Gargon watched as his friend’s eyes snapped shut. His own eyes widened and without another thought, he ran down the stairs in search of his sword, but it wasn’t there where he dropped it before.

He turned, watching the top of the staircase, and wondering what the hell he should do. Gargon wouldn’t leave his friend- he could never, but without his sword…He turned back to the floor as he thought. Gargon could hit the princess, knock her out, but that…that wasn’t right. Why was the idea of shoving her through with a sword easier than manhandling her? It didn’t matter. Where was his damn sword?

“You have been the most fun knight, Sir Gargon. You came here for treasure, did you not? I could see it in your head, that little conversation you had at the tavern with your friend upstairs. You only agreed to come when you knew you would gain something. That changed, didn’t it?”

Gargon spun on his heel, backed up step by step until his back hit the wall. It was too dark to see the bones anymore, or even the bloody door. He was trapped.

Except, the princess glowed. Bright and beautiful, her golden skin shone like an ingot in the sunlight, only her glow was confined to her skin, it didn’t stretch- didn’t light the room. It was through the glow, however, that he saw the red covering her mouth.

Tears pricked his eyes. “Please- please tell me he- tell me he is alive.”

“Would it give you hope?” Gargon didn’t answer. “I think it would, so I will say it. Your friend is alive, but I am not quite sure for how long.” She tapped her chin as she stalked towards the terrified knight. “Humans bleed out very fast.”

“What…are you?” His voice was breathy, almost unwilling to come out at all.

“Treasure.”

His mind wasn’t so hard to break this time. She broke him down with the blood on her face from her meal upstairs- which she very much enjoyed. But, the treasure-seekers were always so much more delicious, and Gargon certainly was.

( @whatwhumpcomments )

[jokertrap-ran]

(未定事件簿) 莫弈 SR [松雪童话] [Tears of Themis] Mo Yi SR [Snowy Pine Fairytales] Card Story Translations (Part 2)

*Tears of Themis Masterlist / Mo Yi’s Masterlist / Mobile Masterlist *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Check out Chapter 1 of Mo Yi’s Private Story here!

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / SMS

Demon King: Squeak—

As if answering my doubts, Demon King slowly relaxed again. It even slowly reached its forelimbs out to tentatively touch Mo Yi's fingers.

MC: (Oh… It looks like it really isn't as terrified anymore.)

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He slowly moved his arm closer to being Demon King closer to him.

Maybe it felt appeased, for its bushy tail started swaying back and forth, as if to express how close it felt to him.

MC: Just like back when I first saw it, Demon King really seems to have taken a liking to you, Dr. Mo.

Mo Yi: Yes. Judging by how it's behaving, it looks like it trusts me quite a bit.

Mo Yi warmly returned the small creature’s gaze, the warmth within his golden eyes akin to the warm rays of the winter sun.

It wasn’t piercing, but warm, and comfortable. The sort of warmth that made me sincerely feel at ease from the bottom of my heart.

MC: (Maybe… Maybe this is why Demon King’s willing to get closer to Dr. Mo.)

Now, both the silver-coated woods and Mo Yi’s own silvery hair reflected a plethora of wonderful colors as the sun’s rays fell upon them. Adding onto the scene was the cute Demon King, forming a picturesque scene full of warmth that made people unwilling to disrupt it.

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Demon King gradually got used to its surroundings. It looked at Mo Yi, before turning towards me, who stood beside him.

MC: Now that we’ve found him, we should hurry and bring him back. I’m sure the little guy’s anxiously waiting for its return.

Mo Yi: Yes.

Mo Yi gently gestured to Demon King to enter the pocket of his coat; it cocked its head, as if pondering. Following that, it followed the path down the sleeve of his shirt, eventually jumping snugly into his coat pocket.

Only a furry little head could be seen peeking out from his pocket, alertly surveying its surroundings.

MC: How wonderous… It looks like it understands you...

MC: Unless... Are you also capable of reading the minds of little animals?

Mo Yi laughed, but made no comment.

Mo Yi: It’s nothing all that strange. I think that it has just gotten used to listening to people since it's been living together with humans for so long.

MC: You do have a point there.

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And that was how we brought Demon King back to Snowy Pine Village. It had stayed quietly inside Mo Yi's pocket the entire trip back, never once making another attempt to escape.

It was already getting late by the time we returned to the village.

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Location: Snowy Pine Village

The boy had long since been waiting for us at the village entrance, exclaiming in joy the moment he saw us.

Little Boy: Yay! You've brought Demon King back!

We had only just stopped in front of him when Demon King leapt onto his hand, affectionately pawing at his face.

Mo Yi took out the whistle and returned it to the boy, who carefully tucked it away.

Little Boy: I just knew that it'd come back as long as you blew that whistle! This is mom's whistle; it really likes mom.

Mo Yi: Keep a close eye on it and don't let it run off again.

Demon King: Squeak squeak sque-squeak!

Little Boy: Demon King says thank you!

The boy didn't sound as guarded as before anymore, and his expression had also softened a tad.

MC: You're welcome, Demon King.

MC: But can you really communicate with it, little buddy?

Little Boy: Yeah! Demon King knows lots of super spells, so of course it understands what I say!

Spells? I immediately asked him the question that had been festering at the bottom of my heart.

MC: About that, could you tell me why you named it Demon King? There must be some special meaning to that, right?

Little Boy: Because Demon Kings are great! The Demon Kings in fairy tales always know everything and they even have spells that can control time!

Little Boy: As long as I have Demon King's spells, mom and dad can come back!

MC: …...

So Demon King's name simply originated from his own innocent fantasies; but I never thought… That it actually had some sort of special meaning.

Speaking of which, I haven't seen this child's parents at all up, and even his guardian never made an appearance up till now. Maybe it's really just like I deduced earlier...

I was just mulling over the thought when I suddenly caught sight of an old grandmother with a walking stick coming towards us from the village.

Grandmother: Little Meng, have you found Demon King yet?

His grandmother had a full head of grey hair and appeared to have some difficulty walking despite being supported by a walking stick.

The boy hurriedly dashed towards her to provide support.

Little Boy: I found him. You're not fit to be out here, Gran. Why did you come back outside?

Grandmother: You didn't come home after such a long time and I was getting worried about you, so I came out to have a look.

As she spoke, she Mo Yi and I standing to the side.

Grandmother: Did you guys help him find Demon King?

Mo Yi: Indeed. It only took little effort.

His grandmother looked kindly at us for a while before waving towards the boy.

Grandmother: Alright, you go off and play first. I want to talk to this brother and sister for a bit.

Little Boy: 'Kay! I'll go bring Demon King home first.

Watching the little boy leave with his squirrel in tow, his grandmother turned to us with an apologetic smile.

Grandmother: Sorry, little Meng must have caused you guys much trouble.

MC: I see, so he's called little Meng?

Grandmother: Yes, little Meng is just the nickname that his mother gave him; he's my grandson.

Grandmother: How do I address the both of you?

MC: I'm (Y/n), and he's Mo Yi. We're here to celebrate Christmas.

Mo Yi: Sorry for not formally giving you an introduction earlier; that was rather rude of me.

Grandmother: You are too humble.

Grandmother: Haa, it's not often that people come by these parts, and young people like you are an even rarer occurrence.

Grandmother: Both of his parents aren't here together with him, you see. So, it's only us, a grandma and her grandchild, living together like this… Thankfully, he still has a squirrel to help ease some of his boredom.

MC: ……

She sighed, speaking to us solemnly.

Grandmother: Young lad and miss, I have something to ask of you, but I don't know if you'll agree to it.

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Location: Snowy Pine Village

Grandmother: Young lad and miss, I have something to ask of you, but I don't know if you'll agree to it.

Mo Yi: Your tone has taken a serious turn. I take it that whatever you're going to tell us now has something to do with little Meng?

Mo Yi: Go on. We'll definitely help you out if it's something within our ability to.

Hearing this, little Meng's grandmother looked at Mo Yi in surprise, but was also thankful that he was willing to lend an ear.

Grandmother: Alright then, I'll get straight to the point. It's going to be Christmas very soon, so… Could the both of you celebrate this festival with him?

Grandmother: Like setting up a tree or something or decorating the house with him…

Grandmother: I'm not too familiar with these foreign practices and there are very few youngsters in this village, so he's literally unable to find any playmates.

Grandmother: Oh, you can just celebrate the occasion at my place. There's no one else other than me and that child.

MC: Of course, we can do it! We originally came here to celebrate Christmas anyway!

Grandmother: I'm really thankful to the both of you… His parents would celebrate it with him in the past, but they're no longer here together with him anymore… Haa...

MC: About that... Sorry, but could I ask where his parents went off to?

Mo Yi: Please be assured, we only want to understand little Meng a little better in order to celebrate this festival with him.

Grandmother: Of course, it'd actually not anything worth hiding.

Grandmother: We're a small village and we can't plant anything when it's snowing during winter, so our economic situation hasn't been very good.

Grandmother: The youngsters of this village went out of town to work, so that they could earn a living. His parents were the same.

Grandmother: A few years ago, his parents were still not that busy and could afford to come home for the New Years. It was also then that his mother brought Demon King back.

Grandmother: His mother told him that the squirrel was his "Christmas present", and even made a small red ribbon for it.

Grandmother: The three if them lugged a huge tree back from the forest and hung colorful little things on it. It was shiny and pretty nice-looking.

Grandmother: Foreign festivals like this are much more popular in the city, and that was also when I first learnt about this "Christmas" that they spoke of… Haa...

Grandmother: Not to mention that he was beyond happy. This child, he'd always be so elated whenever his parents came home that he'd giddily go along with whatever without so much as a peep... 

MC: I see, no wonder he...

His grandmother continued speaking, sighing, and shaking her head again as she did.

Grandmother: But his parents have only been getting increasingly busier with their work these past two years. So much that we now saw neither hide nor hair of them, and phone calls only come once in a blue moon…

Grandmother: At the beginning, he'd always pester me, asking me when his parents would return. I'd always tell him soon, but even he stopped believing me after the nth time.

Grandmother: Eventually, he started talking to the squirrel and would disappear along with it in tow time and time again. He even gave it such a weird name according to a book.

Grandmother: Haa… This kid was so cute back then that it's laughable, but now, he doesn't care about anyone but that squirrel of his.

Grandmother: But we can't blame his parents for this either. I mean, who would be willing to work all day every day outside like that? If it wasn't for me and this child...

She had only spoken halfway before breaking out into a fit of violent coughs.

I hurriedly reached forwards to gently pat her on the back. It was only after a while that her coughing fit calmed.

MC: Are you alright!?

Grandmother: ...Cough, cough. I'm fine, it's just one of the woes of sickness that come with getting old, just that it gets worse as time goes on.

Grandmother: I'm afraid I can't celebrate this festival with him even if I wanted to…

She gradually lowered her voice, her eyes filled with an inconsolable sadness.

MC: ...Granny, you...

It was hard for me not to feel a little depressed at the thought of spending a lonely Christmas alone.

Noticing how I was acting unnaturally, Mo Yi gently patted my arm and walked up to the elderly woman.

Mo Yi: ...I understand. You wish for us to spend Christmas with him, to let him revisit the warmth he shared with his parents back then.

Mo Yi: All thought there is no way that we can compare to his actual parents themselves, I'm willing to give it a try for him.

Grandmother: Young lad, young miss; you're both really such kind Samaritans.

After having finished speaking, his grandmother moved to give a shaky bow whilst trembling at the effort. Mo Yi hurriedly went to support her back up.

Mo Yi: Don't worry about it, we're only doing what we can to help.

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Location: Country Villa

That day, we had another long talk with his grandmother. The sky was almost completely dark by the time we returned to the Villa.

I stood in front of the window and gazed out at the quiet snowy night in this mountainous village, yet my heart refused to settle no matter how long I stood.

MC: ...I'm sure little Meng is sad, deep down in his heart.

Mo Yi came up from behind, gently placing a blanket over my shoulders. Warmth flowed from my shoulders to the depths of my heart.

Mo Yi: The temperature by the window is lower; don't catch a cold.

MC: ... Thank you, Dr. Mo.

Mo Yi: Still thinking about little Meng?

MC: Yeah… Just like we've seen in the day, they aren't the only ones. This village is filled with lots of elderly and children who are dependent on each other…

I purposely made a point to observe how things were like in Snowy Pine Village ever since we left little Meng's house.

MC: From the looks of things, it really seems like this village is filled with those that have to be left behind.

Mo Yi: Yes; many of the villagers have left to work elsewhere, leaving parents who are getting on in age along with their children, which has caused this phenomenon of a left-behind village.

Mo Yi: Children who grow up with the lack of parental care will be more prone to mental problems, especially the younger ones.

Mo Yi: I will apply for care assistance once we return. I'll also make sure to write up a report about this and send it to the organizer of the Seminar.

Mo Yi: They are currently preparing for a "Plan to care for left-behind children", and I hope this village will be included in it.

MC: That's great then.

Mo Yi: But it'll still be a lot harder on the children since their parents are not with them.

MC: …...

MC: (Come to think of it, I haven't… Seen my parents in a long while too...)

Upon hearing little Meng's experiences in the day, I couldn't help but to imagine how my parents spent every festival together, alone, after I had left. Whether it be the beautiful memories of spending Christmas together with my parents, or whether it be the loneliness that came after from being alone; I had experienced them both.

I tried to hold it back earlier while we were still in front of little Meng's grandmother, so it didn't show; but now, I felt a little taken with my thoughts since the memories had surged back into the forefront of my mind.

Mo Yi: (Y/n), you seem to particularly understand little Meng very well. Did it remind you about your own parents?

I couldn't hide it myself anymore when faced by Mo Yi's eyes that overflowed with warmth.

MC: Nothing really escapes you, Dr. Mo… I don't even remember when I'd mentioned them around you.

Yes, perhaps it had been something that I had just happened to bring up one fine day; but yet, he had remembered it all so clearly.

He was quick to notice fluctuations in my mood, comforting me immediately, just like how he did in the day.

MC: Sorry for making you worry.

He gently held onto my hand, his low voice sounding crystal clear by my ear.

Mo Yi: Not at all. I simply pay more attention to the people and the things I keep close to heart.

Mo Yi: Emotions have to be let out. Not only will it be hard on you if you suppress it, but you might even fall sick from it.

Mo Yi: You don't have to put up facades around me. You can tell me; be it sadness or when you're feeling at a loss.

Mo Yi: There's no need to feel sorry or sheepish that you might be troubling me with it. I'm willing to listen to whatever you may share, regardless of what it may be.

MC: ……

Mo Yi: Alright. It's not early anymore so you should retire early for the day.

Mo Yi: I really look forward to decorating the Christmas Celebration venue; for little Meng, and also for you.

That night, I slept very soundly.

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Location: Country Fair

The next day, we went to the nearby fair, just as little Meng's grandmother had told us to, and bought a wide variety of things that included decorations and presents alike.

Looking at the dazzling array of small trinkets, I totally immersed myself in the festive atmosphere as I went on quite the shopping spree.

MC: We've bought everything we need! I think they'll definitely like them!

Mo Yi took the many bags of decorations that I held, big and small ones alike, and handed me a cup of hot drink.

Mo Yi: How about we pick out gifts for each other too, (Y/n)?

MC: Of course; I was just about to ask you what you liked!

Mo Yi: How about this then? We'll split up and go search for our gifts, then we'll keep it secret and take it out together only on Christmas Eve.

Mo Yi: Just think of it as something to surprise the other; how does that sound?

MC: Sure, sounds really interesting!

Mo Yi: You don't have to spend too much effort looking for a gift for me, so just choose anything that you like.

Mo Yi: It's the thought that counts; I'm sure I'll like anything you give me.

☆⋅⋆…⋅─────────── ⋆⋅✾⋅⋆ ───────────⋅…⋆⋅☆  

I spent the next few days thinking about what present I should get him for Christmas, until the I saw a wood carving of a squirrel set out on an old craftsman's storefront.

A lightbulb lit up in my head and I asked the craftsman to customize a wood carving of a squirrel for me; one that wore Mo Yi's glasses on it.

With his expert craftsmanship skills, the squirrel that wore gold wire-framed glasses turned out looking utterly adorable and intelligent.

When I first saw the finished product, I just couldn't put it down as I stared at it in awe, already a little reluctant to give it away as a gift.

☆⋅⋆…⋅─────────── ⋆⋅✾⋅⋆ ───────────⋅…⋆⋅☆  

Location: Country Villa

MC: It's really cute! I can't wait to see the look on Dr. Mo's face when he sees it.

MC: I wonder what present he prepared though...

───⋅𝕿𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖓𝖊𝖝𝖙 𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖊…⋆⋅☆

[sugarmaplewings-fics]

Deep Blue Fantasy Part Six

Pairing: Merman!Tamaki Amajiki x Fem!reader

Warnings: Some angst and hopelessness, otherwise none

Author’s Note:

This is quite likely my favorite part of the story! Even though it’s a little on the shorter side, it’s really top tier for me. We got some tooth-rotting fluff up in here (Sugar’s going to give you some cavities (*≧m≦*) ) and then some lovely angst (cri).

I’ll leave this for you and run. I hope you like it! This will all come to its thrilling conclusion on the ninth! I’m happy with how it’s been received here!

Love you!

-Sugar

✤✤✤✤✤

{Pt. 1}  {Pt. 2}  {Pt. 3}  {Pt. 4}  {Pt. 5}  {Pt. 6}  {Pt. 7}

くコ:彡 くコ:彡 くコ:彡 くコ:彡

Another week passed. A whole week of Tamaki falling more and more in love with you.

Everyone at the chateau had taken notice of her highness's mysterious new best friend, often seen giggling with one another while you walked through the halls.

You had helped Tamaki come up with a good story this time, which happened to work much better than letting him nod along to anyone trying to play twenty questions to learn more about him. As far as the staff was concerned, Tamaki was a foreigner from far away lands who couldn't speak the island tongue. You however, just so happened to speak the language he did know, and that was why he couldn't respond to anyone other than you.

On the topic of language, both you and Tamaki spent hours in your study together. You taught him everything you could about the human world (including how to read, which he was picking up quite well), while he told you tales of merpeople history and culture, teaching you sign language along the way. Tamaki couldn't help but be impressed with how quickly you learned the motions for each word and phrase. Every time you were able to hold a short conversation with him, a tiny fire of pride glowed just a little brighter in his chest.

His time alone with you, however, soon drew to a close. One morning, you shook him awake with an eager gleam in your eye.

"He's coming today!" you excitedly whispered to him, referring to your father.

You'd been ecstatic since the day before after learning he was on schedule to come back to Milrich, which was the island you were staying at for the time being. You were in one of your favorite dresses, (F/C) skirts softly swishing around your legs. Tamaki noticed that your hair was done differently today, and he had to admit, it looked really nice.

You decided that today would be a good time to take him around town, showing him the shop stands and letting him greet some of the townspeople. Tamaki was nervous at first, clinging to your side at all times and doing little more than offering small waves to people. You made sure to keep him distanced enough so that you wouldn't have to explain why he couldn't hold a conversation, but he enjoyed seeing the sights of the town all the same.

Something was really starting to bother him, though. The people around you treated you with so much respect. Some of them even did an odd sort of bending over for you when you passed by. A sick feeling began to churn in his stomach. It had to just be him overthinking things, right? But the way you lived looked so different from these other humans he saw. Did you have more money? You mentioned your father owning the islands. That had to be it.

Tamaki gnawed on his lip. If you were rich, what would that mean for your interest in him? He wasn't by any means an important merman. He wouldn't have anything to offer if you were to get together. Would your father accept him? He must be the one with the money. Why hadn't Tamaki worried about this more? Why hadn't he asked you earlier about what you were? He was so focused on himself and the fact that he was a merman, he'd barely had time to ask what a princess was.

A sound interrupted Tamaki's thoughts, leaving him little time to try and guess what it was or what it meant before you excitedly gasped and grabbed his hand. Brianne, who had been accompanying you both a few paces away hurried to attempt to keep up with the both of you as you sprinted in the direction of the shore. Tamaki saw an impressive ship docked at the end of an extensive boardwalk; planks leading out into dark waters. He noticed how the boat rocked, pushed and pulled by the waves constantly slapping its sides.

A middle-aged man stood at the bottom of a ramp, surrounded by a small crowd of people. He resembled you, or, maybe Tamaki should say you resembled him. From your face to your build to your hair, this man was undeniably your father.

"Daddy!" You broke off from Tamaki's hand and tore down the wooden dock in his direction.

At the sound of your voice, he looked up, eyes twinkling as he caught sight of you. He was only able to take a few steps toward you before you leapt into his arms, hugging yourself into his large chest.

Tamaki stood by himself at the end of the pier, watching your interactions. Most of your exchanged words were swallowed by distance and the sound of waves slapping against the support posts anchoring the dock. He startled when Brianne finally caught up, panting slightly as she brushed past him and continued her way down the pier, lifting her skirts from the path of her legs.

You were still speaking amiably with your father when she approached the two of you, doing one of those odd bending over things before her own mouth began to move in what Tamaki assumed was welcome for your father.

Her arrival seemed to distract you enough from your father to look around, catching sight of Tamaki still standing awkwardly on shore. You waved at him, then bit your lip as you waited for Brianne to finish talking.

When she finally did, you latched onto your father's arm, pulling him much like you did to Tamaki down the boardwalk, however, you went much slower.

"Father, there's someone I'd like you to meet," Tamaki heard you say as you approached.

He looked up from you and met Tamaki's eyes. He was too far away to determine what color they were, but Tamaki could tell they weren't quite the same hue as yours. They looked tired and worn, but warm and friendly all the same.

"This is Tamaki," you introduced. "He's a castaway from a shipwreck who washed ashore last week. He's been staying with me since."

Your father glanced between you and Tamaki for a moment, finally sizing up the boy before him. After a slightly awkward moment of silence, he offered his hand, which by now Tamaki knew he was supposed to shake. His hand was large and, much like yours, warm in his grasp.

"It's nice to meet you, young lad," your father said, still gripping Tamaki's hand. It didn't seem harsh, merely firm, possibly threatening. "Haven't been too much trouble for my daughter now, have you?"

Out of habit, Tamaki opened his mouth to answer, but stopped himself before he could make a legitimate attempt.

"You see," you spoke up for him, "Tamaki doesn't speak our tongue. He's foreign. Luckily it was among the many languages I have been practicing, so we have been able to communicate."

"Really now? Which one?"

You swallowed, quickly scanning through your mind for a plausible language that your father didn't speak. You named it, and he merely nodded, finally releasing Tamaki's hand.

"He's a very interesting person, father," you continued, holding onto your king's arm as you and his entourage began to make your way back to the chateau. "I have had many opportunities to learn from him. He's very interesting to listen to." You glanced across the way to share a smile with Tamaki, which he appreciated.

"I assume you've been keeping up with your studies as well?" your father asked with a slightly teasing smile.

"She has," Brianne piped up. "Quite nicely too, even with her new little friend who she's running around with at all hours of the day."

No one in the group was able to miss the color donning both yours and Tamaki's cheeks at her statement.

Your father merely smiled down at the both of you, catching your gaze with his warm eyes. "I'm glad you have a friend, (Y/N)."

You smiled softly at the grass below you. "I missed you, father."

"And I missed you, princess."

"The whole town has been awaiting your return," Brianne spoke again. "We should have something in celebration. A dance, perhaps?"

Tamaki wasn't quite certain what a dance was, but from the way you perked up it sounded like it was something to be excited about.

"Oh, daddy, we haven't had one in so long! It'll be wonderful!"

Tamaki suddenly noticed Brianne eyeing him a bit slyly, catching his gaze for a second before innocently roving her glance back ahead. He was clearly missing something, yet again. This was starting to get a bit annoying, having to wait before he could ask you every question he had in private.

"A dance it will be then," your father said. "We'll open the chateau grounds and the entire village will be invited."

You removed your arm from his in order to clap your hands together. "Oh, I'm so excited!"

...

What is a dance?

Tamaki hadn't been able to corner you all afternoon. You spent nearly all day with or around your father, which Tamaki more than understood. But there was no denying that without you, it was difficult to function in your world. What with his anxiety, it was a bit nice to not have just anyone trying to talk with him, but it was still a little unnerving when some of the chateau workers just stared at him from across the room, sometimes whispering amongst themselves. And while he thoroughly enjoyed every moment he spent with you, dependence wasn't his scene either.

So that's how he found himself holed up in his room, alone, having finally escaped the bustle of your chateau. It only seemed busier now that your father was here again, where Tamaki had been used to calm, quiet, nearly empty stone walls.

An hour or so later, you poked your head in to find him sprawled face down on his bed, trying to come up with ways to make a relationship between the two of you work. That is, if you were interested. And if Tamaki could finally just come out and tell you how he felt. Sometimes he found his own lip curling in frustration with himself. Why did he have to make it so hard on him?

"Tamaki?" Your sweet voice saying his name, just like the music that so easily lulled its way into his heart. "You doing okay?"

Tamaki lifted himself up so he could sit on the edge of the bed, and you joined him without hesitation. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just . . . a lot of people."

You tentatively placed a hand on his knee, making the raven haired boy's heart jump. "I'm sorry. It might be like this for another day or so until everything settles. I'll try to make time for you until then, okay?"

"Sure."

Your hand gave his knee the lightest of squeezes before pulling back to rest on your lap. "Are you excited for the dance?"

Tamaki bit his lip, relieved to finally be able to have the question that had been on his mind all day answered. "What's a dance?"

"Ah, you must not have them," you said. Tamaki could appreciate how understanding you were with him, never talking down to him like he was dumb. "They're parties. With food and music and dancing—"

"Oh, we do have those."

"So you'll accompany me?" you asked, allowing heat to spread a bit on your cheeks.

"What do you mean?"

Your blush intensified a little more. "You know. You can take people to these things and they can be your dance partner for the night . . . . Would you like to be mine?"

Tamaki's pulse quickened. "Of course! I'd love to. It's just, I've never really been to many parties or anything . . . ."

"And you probably don't know how to dance either. At least, not with human legs."

Tamaki shook his head.

"Come on." You stood, walking him to the door. You glanced around the hall before leaving his room, making your way all the way down to the door to the outside.

The sun had long since set, and the sky had been painted over with a heavy inky darkness. Tamaki couldn't help but take a moment to gaze up at the thousands of stars that were scattered outside the atmosphere. You'd taken him outside at night once a few days ago, pointing out constellations that had been illustrated in one of your books, spending hours together just looking at them as you talked.

He still found himself fascinated with them, only shaken from his trance by a light tug you'd given to his arm. "This way," you whispered. Tamaki didn't know why you were whispering, but there was something about the action that just seemed appropriate now.

You led him to an open area of grass, fringed by small trees on one side. The night sky was in full view all around, moonlight softly pooling onto every surface for miles. Tamaki could see you just well enough to truly appreciate your beauty, eyes running from your kind face to your sweet curves.

Without him scarcely being able to register it, you were suddenly so close to him; chest to chest in the middle of the clearing. His breath caught in his throat at your proximity, craving it and fearing it all at once.

"I'm going to teach you how to dance," you said, your voice low in the still night air.            I'm Renasha Bliss—

You gently guided his arms and hands to their positions, your own heart suddenly feeling flighty at his butterfly touch. Once he was secured, you settled your own hands and began to explain to him some of the basics.

"Now move with me, and keep loose. There will be music with a tempo, so you'll have that to follow, but for now, let's just go—" You began to guide his movements, your feet gliding with his over the soft grass. "One two three, one two three, one two three—" Your voice remained soft, concentrating on keeping your motions fluid to provide an example for Tamaki.

Every now and then, fireflies would be awakened by your feet, humming into the air and creating a light show all your own. Tamaki watched as their glow shone in your eyes, unable to take his own off them. They went so deep, and he loved every detail about their color, even from what little he could make out in the dark.

You kept whispering one two three, one two three, until you felt Tamaki begin to relax into your hold, letting his own legs guide him relatively smoothly with yours.

"Look at that," you paused in your chanting to beam at him. "You're a natural."

The two of you kept going, your count eventually replaced by gentle humming. Tamaki closed his eyes and let the music flow into his ears, guided only by your warm touch and the silent continuation of one two three he'd started in his head.

"Spin me," you whispered.

Tamaki blinked his eyes open enough to watch as you broke apart from him momentarily, still grasping his hand. He'd seen this spin done countless times back home, so he was familiar with the action of lifting his arm over your head as you spun slowly beneath him, skirts swishing around your calves.

A soft laugh tumbled from your lips as he pulled you back into him. You hadn't had a dance partner in years, and never had it truly felt this way. Tamaki and you fell back into the three-step, notes still leaking from your throat as you recalled a dance you had watched your mother perform with your father when you were young.

Encased in the spotlight of moonbeams, with insects your only orchestra, the whole moment was nothing but magical. You couldn't keep the smile off your face if you tried, and you even noticed Tamaki letting go of his normally tense demeanor and softly grinning at you as well.

"Spin me again," you whispered giddily, having picked up the pace of your inaudible one two three's.

Tamaki happily obliged, watching as you dipped under his arm and held your position away from him for a second, only to come back into his chest. Except, you suddenly didn't quite feel like dancing anymore. He stilled as he held you in his arms, pressing you close to his chest.

Your breathing quickened as he looked into your eyes, indigo hues boring into your own (E/C) depths. Your lips parted ever so slightly in awe of him, which he quickly noticed, breaking the gaze to stare at your full pillows.

Your breaths intermingling was the only sign to you that you were drawing ever closer, unable to look or move away, completely spellbound by the man before you who was not quite of this world.

Otherworldly, you thought, your hand lightly running from his shoulder to the back of his neck, already applying pressure to the base in order to pull him in further. That's what he was. That's how you felt. In this unbreakable moment, where time had slowed and the earth had stopped spinning.

A breath. "Tamaki."

The whispered sound of his name made his gaze snap to your eyes again.

"Are you sure?" you asked, voice breathy behind your lips.

"About what?" Tamaki whispered back, caught up in your intense gaze.

"Taking me as your princess," you said, so close in his face the tips of your noses nearly brushed up against each other.

Princess. The word nearly sent a chill down his spine. What did it mean? The question had been gnawing at the back of his mind from the first day he'd been here, yet he'd never had the courage to ask it. But you were so close, so tantalizingly close, and he didn't want anything more to keep itself wedged between you.

Without a second thought, Tamaki parted his lips. "Actually, there's another question I haven't asked. It's been bothering me for a while."

"Oh?"

"I, uh . . . I don't actually know what a princess is."

Your eyes widened. "You—you don't know?"

Tamaki flinched, the spellbound moment he'd been caught in suddenly crashing down around him. He'd insulted you, he was certain. This was why he hadn't asked in the first place. He already regretted the words that had fallen from his tongue, wishing he could suck them back in again, go back to seconds before, when you were dancing, when you were finally about to kiss—

"Do you—do you not have princesses?" you asked in disbelief. "No monarchy?"

Monarchy. The simple word made his blood run cold, feeling rushing from his face. You were . . . royalty? This whole time?

"I—there's the emperor and the empress," he stammered out, suddenly unable to meet your gaze. "But we've never had—I've never heard of—I didn't know—"

Your eyebrows creased in worry at his crumbling face. "Tamaki are you okay?"

"You're—you're royalty," he finally said, his world momentarily pausing in its spiraling descent around him.

He couldn't miss how your face suddenly fell. You looked so . . . disappointed, almost betrayed. How could Tamaki have messed up so bad?

"Yes." Your voice was distant as you answered.

That was all he needed. He had to go. He couldn't bear to see you, to have you see him.

Tamaki spun around and began to run off in the direction of the sea. His feet pounded against the grass, nearly flying over the surface of the ground. He'd been to this path so many times before in the week he'd lived with you, so the journey was no difficult or unfamiliar one.

For the first time since he'd gotten his legs, Tamaki truly couldn't breathe. He had to get away, he just had to. Never before had he felt so foolish, so embarrassed. You were royalty? And he thought he had a chance? He should have known. The moment he'd laid eyes on your perfect face, the second he'd heard your beautiful voice, been touched by your gentle caring hands, you were more than he could ever deserve, and Tamaki should have known not to convince himself that you could ever love him back.

It all made sense; your home that was bigger than everyone else's, the people who seemed so eager to answer to every beck and call, everything from the way you carried yourself to the delicate circlet that always wrapped around your head.

You had status. You had money. You had power. You had no business being with someone as lowly as a merman like him.

His feet hit sand and the sound of the sea crashed into his ears. He ran into the waves, not caring that they were cold, not caring that they were so strong they could throw him against a rock and he could die. He only cared that it was wet and it was home and it was away.

Tamaki fought the opposing force, nearly screaming in frustration as a wave pushed him back towards shore, silently begging him to go back. Its pleas fell on deaf ears, and Tamaki focused all his energy on surging forward until he was up to his neck in the salty water. He yanked the shell necklace over his head and tossed it away, angry at how he'd once held so much hope in it. He thought it would set him free, not destroy his life. He threw it somewhere behind him, incapable of thinking of consequences for his actions.

He started to feel funny, his body beginning to reconstruct itself much like it had so many days before. This transformation was faster and far less painful, but Tamaki still stumbled forward, his face colliding with an oncoming wave as his legs started to fuse together. He held his breath and buried his arms in the sand to hold himself under the violent waters, waiting for his tail to reform and his gills to come back. Finally it was complete, and he pushed himself off the seafloor, pumping his powerful tail in the direction of home.

Home.

He couldn't go back. What would Mirio think?

Tamaki frantically whipped between the black rocks that jutted from the waves, hoping to fight off the strong watery forces in his moments of adrenaline. Soon, he surpassed the location where he had leaned against the rocks to watch you, experiencing what a human was for the first time. He passed where he'd grown legs and nearly drowned, claimed and spat out by the sea which had been his home. Finally he was where he'd last parted ways with Mirio, right before he'd started on this long, chaotic journey.

Tamaki floated still in the water, finally letting himself stop. His arms wrapped around himself, physically trying to keep himself from falling apart more than he already had.

He hadn't been submerged in the ocean for so long, it felt surreal. The weightlessness, the cold, the darkness. For the first time, none of it was comforting. He already missed the sun and the grass and the air and your wonderful face—

You. He had been a fool. A fool in love. An idiot infatuated by a fantasy, a fantasy where the two of you could be together, no matter who you were or where you came from.

Tamaki felt himself sinking. He didn't care. He kept his elbows to his chest and his face in his hands as his surroundings got colder and darker. The crushing feeling in his chest was worse than any water pressure he'd ever experienced.

His caudal fins brushed sand, and he soon found himself lying on the seafloor. He couldn't move for now. It was almost as if there wasn't a thought in his mind other than his own self-hatred.

What was it you said humans did? Cry? That's what Tamaki felt like doing. Except he couldn't. He wasn't a human anymore. His dreams had come to an end, and now he was little more than alone in the vast blue darkness that had once been his home.

...

To be continued . . . .

くコ:彡 くコ:彡 くコ:彡 くコ:彡

[Part Seven]

Author's Note:

Whoof, that was heavy.

Sorry this one was a little shorter than the others but oh well, variety I guess ('−｀) ﾝ. Don't worry, I promise there will be a happy ending!

Thanks again for reading! Love you guys!

-Sugar

Taglist:

@inumorph​ @engel-hageshii​ @good-so​ @krissy189​ @milkteeboba​ @pansexual-potterhead​ @ure-a-sunflower​ @xeina​ @kingtamakimurder​ @basicaegyo​ @iiminibattlehero​ @pyrofanatic​​ @sokkasangel​ @xoxopam4​

[let-the-dream-begin]

A Place to Belong Chapter 24: Shadows

Chapter 23

Read on AO3

August 24th, 1747

The fields were just about ready to be harvested with September just around the corner. The barley stalks were nearly golden, the green gradually disappearing with each passing day. So, too, was Brianna changing gradually with each passing day. Her gaze grew sharper every day; sometimes Claire thought that her infant daughter could see right through her with those piercing blue eyes. Even though they were set inside chubby little cheeks, she could swear sometimes that it was Jamie looking right at her and not her daughter.

She was smiling all the time now, and laughing. God, that sound. Claire would never get enough of it. She often went far out of her way to do something that she knew would make her laugh, though she really didn’t have to whenever Kitty was around. At two-and-a-half, the little lass was cheeky as ever, learning more words to drive her parents mad every day. She was growing quite limber on her little legs, and was quite the troublemaker. Claire dreaded the day that Brianna became just as mobile and could join Katherine in her wee escapades.

Already they were getting into trouble together, with Kitty leading the way on foot and Brianna trailing behind on her hands and knees. Kitty hardly ever went anywhere without Brianna following, and Claire and Jenny had taken to calling Brianna “the little shadow,” or sgàil.

Today was one of those rare, gloriously sunny days, a perfect day for a picnic by the mill. Wee Jamie had become more and more insistent on helping in the fields, but seeing Maggie with the hoop and stick, ready to play, had made him rethink asking to help today. Jenny had admonished him, insisted that he had to finish the job he started, but Ian had waved her off.

“No need fer the lad to grow up so fast, aye?”

She’d relented, and now he and Maggie were running like little heathens with the hoop and their sticks, Kitty helplessly chasing them. Claire and Jenny were chatting over their mending, Brianna babbling to herself between them on the blanket with Lambert clutched in one of her fists. It wasn’t long before Kitty grew tired of being left out of Maggie and Jamie’s game, and she toddled over to the blanket.

“Banna!” she called as she got closer. “Come play, Banna!”

Claire looked down to see Brianna was looking at Kitty with rapt attention, Lambert hanging limply at her side.

“Go on, darling, go play with Kitty.” Claire set her mending aside and lifted Brianna from her middle, then set her on her hands and knees. “Go on, lovie.”

Brianna let out a little cooing noise and gave a wide, lopsided grin before crawling with impressive speed toward Kitty, who squealed with excitement at seeing her little shadow joining her in the field.

Claire chuckled to herself and shook her head. “You were right. We’re in for it with those two.”

Jenny smirked and glanced up from her mending. “Aye. Fer all we know Brianna could ha’ been a perfect wee angel, but now she’s met Kitty we’ll never know.”

Claire laughed. “I seem to recall you were nearly as much of a little devil as she is?”

“Och, no’ nearly so bad,” Jenny said defensively.

“Really? I suppose only a perfect angel would put insects in her brothers’ supper?”

“You try growin’ up wi’ two brothers, yer scale will shift dramatically,” Jenny said, laughing. Claire joined in the laughter as well. “Ye’ve told me ye never had a sister. Did ye ever have brothers?”

“Oh, no. I was an only child. I was five when I became an orphan.”

“Oh,” Jenny said thoughtfully. “That uncle ye speak of, he…”

“Raised me, yes,” Claire said. “I’ll forever be grateful to him. He treated me like his own daughter. But I can’t say I wasn’t ever lonely. For a companion my age.”

Jenny nodded in understanding. “Canna imagine my childhood wi’out Jamie and Willie.”

“That’s why I’m so glad that we’re here, with all of you.” Claire looked up at the squealing group of little ones before her. “Brianna deserves to have all that I never could.”

“She’ll never be lonely, that’s fer sure,” Jenny said wryly. “I’d wager she’ll be begging Kitty to leave her alone in two years time.”

Claire chuckled. “We’ll see about that.”

“Claire!” Jenny suddenly dropped her mending and began swatting at her shoulder.

“What on Earth?”

“Look!”

Claire looked up at the field and immediately dropped her own mending at the sight: 

“Banna stand-in’!”

“Dinna touch her, Kitty!” Jenny called, scrambling to her feet and helping Claire get up. They quickly and gingerly approached where Brianna was standing. Jenny lifted Kitty under her arms and deposited her out of the way despite her protests.

“Brianna!” Claire called. “Hello, darling! Come here! Walk to Mummy!”

Brianna’s face broke out into another adorable, crooked grin, and she flapped her hands a little, giggling incessantly at her mother.

“Don't you laugh at me,” Claire said, laughing out loud herself. “Come on, darling! Come here!”

The wee devil just laughed again, tossing her head back and causing her to land square on her little bum.

“Uh-oh! Banna fell down!”

Banna seemed completely unphased, however; she was still laughing her head off.

“You silly little thing…” Claire shook her head, quickly approaching where Brianna fell. “It’s alright, lovie, get back up, come on…” She took hold of Brianna’s little fists and got her back to her feet.

“That’s it, mo ghraidh!” Jenny said. “Come on, now!”

“Ready, baby? Ready to walk?” Claire kept a tight hold on her hands, crouching over her, and took a step. Brianna mimicked, taking a step with her. “Yes! That’s it! Good girl!”

Claire took a step with her other foot, and so did Brianna.

“That’s it, a sgàil! Keep going!”

Step after step they took together, until finally, Brianna wrenched her hands from Claire’s grip and closed the distance to her Auntie all by herself. Jenny laughed out loud as Brianna launched herself into her arms, and Claire cried out joyously.

“Banna walk-in’! Banna walk-in’!”

Claire rushed to Jenny’s side and took her baby in her arms, her cheeks sore from smiling. “That’s right, little girl! Brianna is walking!” She held her over her head, eliciting shrieking giggles from her, before returning her to her hip and planting a huge, wet kiss on her cheek. “Mummy is so proud of you, baby. Such a big girl!”

Did you see, Jamie? Did you see what your daughter just did...?

——

November 23rd, 1747

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…”

Claire sang softly in Brianna’s ear, bouncing her gently in her lap. Jenny put down the little cake Mrs. Crook had concocted on the table in front of them.

“Happy birthday dear Brianna, happy birthday to you.”

The candle stuck in the middle was certainly no birthday candle, but it would do.

“Alright, darling! Ready to blow?” Brianna simply looked around aimlessly, causing chuckles all around the room. Claire blew out the candle herself.

“Yay!” she crooned, clapping her hands. Brianna giggled and copied her, clumsily clapping her little hands. Light applause from the whole family filled the room, and Claire kissed Brianna’s cheek.

Claire had declared that Brianna was going to get as close to a twentieth-century first-birthday as she could, and she’d gotten a kick out of Jenny and Ian’s reactions when she’d explained it all to them, the cake, the candle, the song. Jenny had rolled her eyes and begrudgingly agreed, and Ian had seemed completely fascinated, eyes lit up like a little boy as he asked to hear more. They’d explained it all to Mrs. Crook by saying it was some tradition from the East that she and her uncle had adopted along their travels. 

The candle was removed, and Claire pulled the dish closer to Brianna. “Go on darling, have some.”

As Claire expected, Brianna dove her hands clumsily into the cake. For a moment she just played with it, apparently unaware that she was supposed to eat it. Claire laughed and brought a bit of it into her mouth, and Brianna immediately perked up and took the hint. She began shoving fistfuls of it into her own mouth, causing everyone to laugh.

“She likes yer cooking, Mrs. Crook!” wee Jamie exclaimed.

“Good thing!” Mrs. Crook said. She began setting out dishes of other little cakes, having made one for each member of the family.

One year old. It was unfathomable to Claire.

In one year, her little girl had grown from a helpless little bundle into a feisty wee girl. She was walking regularly now; she hadn’t used crawling to get around in almost a month. She was regularly eating bannocks and soft, cut-up fruits. Claire was hopeful she’d be weaned in the next couple of months.

In one year, she’d also had six seizures.

None had been as bad as that first one, and after the second one, everyone had been much more prepared. Claire was confident now that they hadn’t had any lasting effect on her development, that she’d be a perfectly normal little girl aside from the occasional seizure. She’d stopped living in complete fear and guilt, but it was always in the back of her mind, waiting to pounce and claw at her throat at any given moment.

As terrible as it sounded, with more practice, Claire handled each seizure better. She’d of course prefer if they stopped happening altogether, but if they were going to happen, she may as well learn how to handle them. A routine had been established, and it was the lifeline she clung to to keep her grounded while her baby was spasming and vomiting on the ground. She had no choice but to get used to it; at this point, it seemed they were looking at full blown epilepsy rather than neonatal seizures that stopped after a certain age.

And yet, through it all, Brianna thrived. She smiled, she laughed, she played with her cousins and the dogs, she learned, she grew. She belonged here, in this place, in this time. Watching her daughter flourish here for an entire year made Claire all the more certain of that fact.

And she looks more like him every day.

——

January 3rd, 1748

Another Hogmanay came and went, and Claire was doing her fair share of treating tenants with various stages of hangover or borderline alcohol poisoning.

“However many farming accidents I treated during harvest season is insignificant to the alcohol related incidents from Hogmanay,” she said wryly to Jenny as she plopped onto the sofa in the parlor. The girls were sitting in front of the fireplace with Luke and Bran, rubbing bellies and flapping ears. She’d just finished giving a man stitches after he’d fallen face first onto the floor, apparently still drunk. According to his wife, he hadn’t stopped drinking since the party.

Jenny didn’t answer, and Claire looked at her, worried. “Are you alright, Jenny?”

“Oh, aye, just fine,” she said, forcing a smile.

“Are you sure? You look a little peaked.” Claire felt her forehead for any fever.

“Och, perhaps I’m no better than all those drunks ye’ve been healing, aye?” She chuckled softly, and Claire smiled. “Ye’re enjoying all yer healing, aye?”

“Oh, of course,” Claire said quickly. “It’s an honor to help your tenants. And it’s wonderful to see how much they trust me.”

“They can tell ye’re a good woman underneath all that Englishness.” Jenny gave her a pat on the thigh, and Claire rolled her eyes.

Brianna’s giggle sounded just then, followed by an unmistakable sound.

“Dog!”

Jenny and Claire both whipped their heads up.

“That wasn’t -- ”

“No’ mine -- ”

“Did she just -- ”

“Aye, I think she did!”

Claire immediately jumped to her feet and fell to her knees on the rug in front of the fireplace. “What did you say, Brianna? Dog? Did you say dog?”

“Dog!” she cried again, burying her hands in Luke’s fur and beaming at Claire.

“Yes! That’s a dog!” Claire laughed joyously. “Clever girl, Brianna!”

Before any more celebration could take place, Jenny’s smile disappeared and she abruptly dashed from the room.

“Jenny?”

“Mam?” Maggie said.

“Stay here, Maggie, it’s alright.” Claire quickly got to her feet and followed Jenny out of the parlor. She followed the sound of retching, and found her bent over the back porch.

“Jenny…” Claire quickly ran to her, putting a soothing hand on her back. “Why didn’t you tell me you were feeling ill?”

She breathed deeply for several seconds, spitting the bitter flavor from her mouth. “Didna want to worry ye over something I wasna sure of.”

“What do you mean?”

Jenny looked up at her, face flushed with sickness and the bitter cold, smiling sheepishly. “I think I’m wi’ child, Claire.”

——

September 28th, 1748

Claire had had Fergus help her whittle some wood into something resembling the earliest stethoscope, which wouldn’t actually be invented for another hundred years. After several trials and errors, they finally figured it out, and Claire had been using it to monitor Jenny’s most recent pregnancy. It had been great fun to share this little scientific discovery with Fergus. For all he knew, they were inventing something brand new together. His genuine excitement was quite endearing. Even at his fourteen years of age, Claire could still see glimpses of that little boy that she’d fallen in love with.

Claire and Jenny were in the Laird’s room together for one of Jenny’s check-ups. She had the stethoscope pressed to her ear against Jenny’s swollen middle, listening carefully.

“The heartbeat is very strong,” Claire said, smiling. She put the wooden tube down and began to feel around, making sure of the position. Claire frowned slightly, feeling its head up top.

“Is it another breech baby?” Jenny said fretfully.

“I’m afraid it seems that way…though there is still time for it to move. I can see if palpating will help this time since your waters haven’t broken yet.” Claire felt around to get a grip on the baby, but she paused. If she wasn’t mistaken, she could feel its head at the bottom, in the correct position. Her brow furrowed. It could not have possibly moved that quickly. She felt up again, keeping one hand on the head.

Her eyes suddenly widened in astonishment. She immediately snatched the stethoscope again and pressed it into Jenny’s belly.

“What?” Jenny said worriedly.

“Shh!” Claire hushed her, listening very carefully through the wooden tube. Yes, certainly that was a heartbeat, right there. She then slid it around on Jenny’s large belly, keeping her ear firmly pressed into it, until she heard it again. Only it was not in the same place. Certainly the baby was not moving. There was only one other explanation.

“Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ,” Claire breathed in amazement.

“What, Claire?” Jenny demanded.

“I think I hear two heartbeats, Jenny,” Claire said, her brows knitting in apprehension.

“Two?” Jenny looked bewildered. “How can the bairn possibly — ”

Claire bit her lip as she watched a wide range of emotions make their way across Jenny’s face. Bewilderment, realization, shock, terror.

“A Dhiah!” she exclaimed. “Two? Ye mean…”

“Twins,” Claire confirmed, nodding. “You’re going to give birth to twins, Jenny.”

Jenny’s mouth flapped uselessly, blinking repeatedly.

“Do you need some water?” Claire said.

Jenny nodded wordlessly, her mouth still hanging open. Claire quickly retrieved a glass and placed it in Jenny’s hands.

“Are you alright?”

“I…I dinna ken how I should feel,” Jenny said. “It’s…joyful, no doubt, but we…we could barely afford to feed one more mouth…and now wi’ two…”

“I can’t imagine how frightening that must be, with everything so uncertain…but you’ll manage. We’ll manage. We have for this long, haven’t we?” Claire took one of Jenny’s hands in both of hers.

Jenny nodded hesitantly. “Christ…will I be in labor for twice the normal amount of time?”

Claire laughed softly. “No, it doesn’t work quite like that, thank God.”

Jenny breathed a sigh of relief, crossing herself. “Dinna think I’d survive if it did.”

“Labor is the normal amount of time, whatever that is for you, and then you just have to push two separate babies. There’s usually a bit of a wait in between.”

Jenny nodded. “And ye’ll be there? Ye’ll help the midwife? God willing she shows up.”

“Of course I’ll be there.” Jenny squeezed her hand. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Not only because you’re my sister, but I’ve never seen the delivery of twins before. This will be quite educational for me.” Her eyes sparkled teasingly.

“Glad that my extra pains will be exciting fer ye.” Jenny rolled her eyes, but Claire could see the smile she was trying to suppress.

“You’ll be alright. I promise. I won’t let anything happen to you.” Claire pulled Jenny’s shift back down. “I’ll pull the second one out if I have to. Again.”

“Father help us.” Jenny threw a glance upward, crossing herself.

“Like I said, there’s still time for them to move around. So we can hope it doesn’t come to that.”

“I trust ye, Claire,” Jenny said firmly. “I trust ye wi’ my life and the lives of my bairns. So if ye say all will be well then I believe ye.”

Claire smiled warmly and gave Jenny’s hand a final squeeze. “Good."

——

On October ninth, Claire found herself tearing through the potato fields to find Ian, her face flushed with adrenaline and the autumn chill.

“Ian!” she called, running toward him. “The babies are here!”

He threw down his tools and rushed to meet her in the middle.

“Well?” he said, breathless and impatient. “Tell me!”

“Janet Claire Fraser Murray,” she said, the name that he and Jenny had decided for another lass.

“Ah, Janet Claire. Another wee daughter.” He beamed proudly.

“And…” she bit her lip, leading him to believe for just a moment that she’d say the second girl name they’d picked out. “Michael Brian Fraser Murray.”

Ian’s face immediately changed from quiet pride to explosive joy. He laughed, louder than Claire had ever seen him laugh. Claire squealed as he crushed her to him in a bear-hug, lifting her off the ground and spinning her.

“A Dhiah! Another son!” He placed her back down and kissed both of her cheeks. “Ye’ve made me mad wi’ joy, Claire!”

Claire laughed, steadying herself on Ian’s shoulders.

“Dinna mistake me, Claire. I love my lasses wi’ all my heart, and I’ll love Janet just as fiercely. But another son…!”

“Well, go on! Go meet them!”

Ian laughed again, sprinting toward the house.

That night, Claire cried.

At first, she had no idea why. She simply sat down on her bed and wept bitterly. She should have been happy. She had helped deliver two healthy, beautiful babies today, one of which was named after her. 

But the more she thought about it, the clearer it became.

Her mind kept returning to that moment she shared with Ian in the fields, the senseless joy on his face.

A proud father.

And then her mind would wander to the scene she’d walked into shortly after, Ian sitting on the bed beside Jenny, each of them cradling a baby, delirious with baby-fever induced happiness.

A mother sharing her children with their father for the first time.

In the moment, it was tender, beautiful, heartwarming.

Now it seemed cruel and unfair.

Why were we denied that, twice…?

Claire shed her bitter tears, clamping a hand over her mouth to stifle the screams that were demanding to be released from her throat.

Why did you take that away from me?

“Mummy!”

Claire gasped softly and hurriedly wiped her face clean of tears. Brianna had recently mastered crawling up the stairs and sliding down on her bum, and she was now pawing at the bedroom door. Claire had tried to get it in everyone’s head that she should not be on the stairs unsupervised lest she have a seizure and fall all the way down, but she’d evidently managed to avoid detection.

“Mummy!”

“Coming, darling.” She took one more brief moment to compose herself before rushing to the door. When she opened it, she immediately scooped the squealing toddler into her arms and kissed her all over her little face.

God, that laughter.

No matter the pain Claire was in, nothing mattered more than seeing to it that Brianna was safe and happy; seeing to it that she never saw the depth of her mother’s despair, that she was never touched by that darkness that threatened Claire at every turn.

[official-weasley]

The Irreplaceable Charlie Weasley: Pt. 5, Ch. 1

PART 5: THE YEAR WHEN EVERYONE FIGHTS Chapter 1 - The Magic of America

Nova

I ended up having a great time with mum in America. I have to give Penny credit, Muggle vacations aren't so bad. I can't remember the last time I spent so much time with my mum. In the morning we went to the beach and then for lunch we tried cooking the Muggle way which usually ended in disaster and us laughing. In the evening we went for a stroll and talked about dad and Quidditch and my O.W.L.s panic as they were approaching too fast.

I also decided to talk to her about Charlie because she kept teasing me, like always, and it didn't amuse me at all since all I had on my mind all Summer was Murphy. I told her about his blond hair and blue eyes and how fast he speaks and how enthusiastic he is about Quidditch. Then I told her about Penny and Andre and Tulip's crush on Jae.

I couldn't believe how fun it was talking about these things to her and even though I missed my friends, I wouldn't trade this Summer for anything in the world.

—

This year, along with my list of books and things I would require for my Fifth Year, another letter came. I knew immediately what it was about and I squealed so loudly in my room that mum ran upstairs to see what was going on.

She was a Prefect as well and she knew what was inside the envelope when I swung it around. I got up and we opened it together, standing in the middle of my room.

“Mum, they picked me! I'm a Prefect!” I started jumping up and down, hugging my mum as she started jumping with me.

“Oh, sweetheart! I knew you would become a Prefect.” She cupped my face. “Dad would be so proud.” She gave me a tight hug and then left me to write a letter to Charlie. This was the first time she didn't make her smug face when I mentioned him. Admitting that I fancied Murphy apparently did the trick.

It wasn't even a day when Pip came back with Charlie's response.

Me too!

Was all that he wrote back and I couldn't help but be excited going to the Prefect's meeting on the train with him. Besides us, Andre and Penny became Prefects as well. As it would be any doubt that miss Potions wasn't going to be a Prefect.

Bill wrote to me a few days later and I couldn't help but chuckle at his letter.

Dear Nova,

Charlie was so excited when he found out that you were picked as a Prefect beside him that he completely forgot to tell you that I was made Head Boy. I am in charge of you two now, haha!

I'm joking, we all miss you very much! I hope you're having a great Summer!

But seriously, I am keeping an eye on both of you!

Love,

Bill

The Summer was ending and it was time to go to Diagon Alley. We met Charlie and his entire family there and Charlie and I couldn't stop laughing about how we will mess with Tulip, Tonks, and Jae when they tell us something bad that they did and we'll be able to put them in detention.

Mum allowed me to go and stay with the Weasleys for my last week since she would have to go to work in a couple of days anyway.

I couldn't believe Fred and George when I saw them. They were almost taller than me! Even Charlie, who was always almost the same height as me, was now a head taller than I was and did he get more muscular, or was he always so well built?

Ginny, now 7, was so happy to see me that she almost started crying and I had to let Charlie down easily because I wanted to spend as much time with her that week. At first, he was grumpy about it but understood that spending a whole school year together was enough compared to Ginny, who had me only for a week.

Percy, now in his Second Year, actually congratulated me on becoming a Prefect which was probably the nicest thing he ever said to me. Ron was getting so good at Wizard's Chess that after beating me 3 times in a row, in what seemed like minutes, I didn't want to play anymore.

One thing that I missed the most was playing Quidditch on Weasley's fantastic Quidditch pitch. They finally allowed Ron to play and Ginny became the one who had to sit, disappointed, at the edge of the pitch.

Fred, Bill, and I played against Charlie, George, and Ron. Charlie couldn't believe that I caught the Snitch before him and the twins didn't make him forget it for days! Neither did I since I knew he was going to win the Quidditch House Cup for Gryffindor for the third year in a row anyways!

—

It was time to say goodbye to our families and go back to our second home. I couldn't wait to see the girls, even though I knew I wouldn't have the time to talk to them as much as we usually did on the train, since we would have to patrol the corridors.

After our Prefect's meeting, which was lead by no other than the perfect Bill the Head Boy Weasley, Charlie and I decided to patrol the corridors together to make Penny do it with Andre, at who she stared for the majority of the meeting and I was sure that for the first time, I listened more attentively than her.

I couldn't help myself but walk around the compartment where Murphy was the most. He caught sight of me a couple of times and smiled. I tried to be as casual about it as I could possibly be even though I was sure it was 100% obvious I fancied him.

After I passed the compartment for the fourth time, Orion invited me inside.

“Congratulations on becoming Prefect, Nova.” He said.

“Nothing surprising there, there was a 98,5% chance that Nova would be our Prefect and I only had 1,5% of a doubt that she wouldn't be.” Murphy beamed at me, making me blush.

“Yeah, congrats!” Skye actually smiled at me.

“I hope that won't take too much of your focus off Quidditch. We want to win this year and on our first practice, Murphy will present his new strategy how he reckons we could win against Gryffindor.” Orion explained. Listening to Murphy talk. What a dream come true! Even though I knew I would have to prepare myself mentally for it to listen and not daydream about going out on a date with him.

I decided it was safe to go on a break and I joined my friends in our usual compartment. Charlie came after us, he was proud as he already busted a Slytherin trying to use firecrackers in the bathroom.

“I don't understand, why I wasn't made a Prefect.” Scoffed Tonks, even though I knew she didn't want to be one.

“Why would you like to be a Prefect?” Charlie chuckled.

“So I could get myself out of trouble.” She grinned mischievously.

“They can do that.” Tulip said, pointing at Penny, Charlie, and me.

“You're right! They will keep us out of detention!” Tonks clapped, excitedly.

“Nymphadora Tonks, if you think for a second I will not take points away from you if I catch you doing something, just because you are my friend, you are highly mistaken!” Penny frowned.

“You would take points from your own House, Penny?” I giggled. I knew she would. She was going to be the best Prefect Hogwarts has ever seen. Right next to Bill, of course.

Tonks and Tulip looked at me and Charlie and we shrugged our shoulders. The second Penny looked away I winked at Tonks, letting her know that we would keep their mischief away from Penny.

If we weren't talking about Prefects and our new responsibilities, we were talking about O.W.L.s. The second Penny started talking about them I knew that Tonks was going to avoid her as much as possible this year. I didn't mind it as much as I wanted to get as many O.W.L.s as I could. I was just hoping she would be able to talk about anything else and give us a break here and there.

Deep in conversation, we almost missed the biggest scandal that has ever happened on the Hogwarts Express. Bill stopped in front of our compartment, talking to a girl. I knew she was in his year but I didn't know her name. He looked shy and his cheeks were red and the girl started eyeing him suspiciously trying to understand what was wrong with him.

“So, you see...” He ran his fingers through his long hair. Was he trying to look cool?

“I fancy you and I was wondering if you'd go out with me sometime.” He finished his sentence. Everyone in our compartment gasped. Bill turned around, now more embarrassed than before, knowing he asked a girl out in front of his friends and his little brother.

“Are you joking?” Bill turned back to her as she spoke. “I wouldn't go out with you, WEASLEY, if you were the last wizard in the world.” I felt anger rushing through my body. How dared she! She would be lucky to date a guy like Bill. He was great and attentive and an amazing and smart student. Who does she think she is?!

She walked away, leaving Bill standing there, stupified. I slowly opened the compartment door, careful not to startle him, and pulled him inside.

“Tough luck, mate.” Charlie really looked like he felt sorry for his older brother. I didn't think he would be so understanding about these sorts of things.

“Was that Emily Tyler?” Penny forgot how to closer her mouth.

“Oh, get off it, Bill!” Tonks almost shouted. We all looked at her, eyes wide open. “You deserve so much better than that twat!” Tulip and I gasped at her words. “She's not pretty enough for you and her personality is as much of a myth than the Chamber of Secrets in Hogwarts.” Even though I wasn't completely sure where she was going with that, it cheered Bill up a little.

“Tonks is right, Bill.” I pulled him in a half hug and rubbed his shoulder. “You can do so much better.” His face was still stunned. Poor lad, that rejection even broke my heart.

“I reckon she was dropped on her head as a baby.” Tulip's comment came out of nowhere as she spoke for the first time since Bill joined us.

“Tulip!” Penny scolded her but couldn't hide the fact that she agreed with her.

“You are one of the best students at Hogwarts, you are smart and a great friend and you are pretty good-looking.” Tulip continued, not paying attention to us. Bill managed to give us a little smile after that compliment, his cheeks bright red.

“Yeah!” Agreed Tonks. “I always wondered if you were single by choice?”

“Yes, he is. But not his.” Charlie never knew when was the right time to mock someone or tell a joke. I gently smacked him on the head.

“Don't listen to him, Bill, he doesn't know what he's talking about.” I said.

“Well, he's not wrong.” Sighed Bill and buried his face in my shoulder.

“You will find the right girl Bill, we are sure of it. Wouldn't you say so, Charlie?” Penny hissed his name as she was still glaring at him for what he said.

“Yeah! Mate, listen.” He scratched the back of his head like he did every time he was embarrassed about something, his cheeks slightly turning red. “You're too much of a man for that Emily twat. You can do better and besides, mum wouldn't approve of her anyway.” Charlie awkwardly leaned over me to pet Bill on the head. I couldn't help but chuckle. Never ask Charlie for love advice, got it.

—

Tulip and I paid attention to this year's Sorting Ceremony as we wanted to see in which House Penny's little sister was going to be sorted. We weren't at all surprised she was a Hufflepuff as well and I couldn't help but laugh as I looked at the Gryffindor Table and saw Charlie gave out a sigh of relief. Penny told him on the train that Beatrice still had a crush on him and he was hoping ever since that she wouldn't become a Gryffindor.

We knew that the professors are going to give us more work than ever since it was our O.W.L.s year but what they were putting us through just in our first two weeks was pure torture. After the first week, I had more homework than all the previous years combined.

As we learned that studying is better together, we spent every sunny day down by the Lake, writing our essays and checking each other's answers. Even Tonks joined us since both Jae and Tulip wanted to study as well. I doubted Tulip wanted to study as much as she wanted to be close to Jae.

“It is better to do this a couple of times per week and be on track with homework than doing everything last minute.” Penny scolded her. “We do have O.W.L.s this year, you know.”

“You don't say.” Charlie mocked her while Tonks rolled her eyes.

Days were going by faster than ever, with the homework, the insane amount of Quidditch practice Orion wanted us to have, and studying for O.W.L.s I barely had any time to spend with Charlie and if I didn't like Ginny so much I would say that I regretted not spending more time with him when I was at the Burrow.

[dogfatherpads]

Remus J. Lupin with a FUCKING BEARD

I just know he gets extra hairy around the full moon. What if one day he just decided he wasn’t going to shave it anymore?

Tbh this is just Wolfstar Slowburn sort of but not really

He sighed as he looked in the mirror. He was already running late and it would take at least 15 minutes if he didn’t want to add new scars to his face. It was just so bloody hard to get up in the morning around this time of the month. His skin itched in anticipation of the pain they would go through in a few short days. His bones hurt, his muscles felt heavy, who cares if he showed up to transfiguration with just a little bit more hair? He could shave it tomorrow, today he was just too tired.

“Moony!! We’re gonna be late lets go!!” James hollered, banging on the bathroom door.

“To hell with it,” Remus threw his razor back in the drawer and pushed his unruly curls out of his face. When did that grow out? He’d just gotten his hair cut three days ago. He huffed aggitatedly and stepped out into the room. “Sorry to keep you lads waiting. Im just so tired this morning,” he began to pick up his books, straightening up just a little when he noticed their staring. “What?”

“You’re um,” Sirius spluttered.

“It’s nothing,” James held up a hand, “now lets go before Minnie gives us detention again. I’ve got a date I don’t want to miss.” Remus rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face when looking at James’ fond one. He and Lily were so disgustingly in love and it was wonderful because James in love and happy was less awful than James in love and pining.

“I found a hidden hallway we can take. I was trying to put it in the map last night, I’ll need your help with the spell Prongs,” Remus ran after them, breathless with excitement. “It ends behind that suit of armor just outside of Transfiguration.”

“Brilliant. Stupid staircases are not working in our favor today. Lead the way Rem.”

They’d made it with ten minutes to spare thanks to the hidden hallway and James grinned thankfully at Moony before walking over to Lily’s desk for a chat. Remus slumped in his chair, wishing desperately for the day to pass by quickly so he could get back into bed.

“You look tired Remus,” Lily commented, “go back to bed, I’ll take notes for you.”

He smiled greatfully, “Thank you, but I’ll survive. I will however, steal that hair tie,” he pointed to her wrist and she grinned.

“I wasn’t going to comment on the hair. I like it though, may I?” she asked, moving to stand behind him when he nodded. His eyes seemed to close on their own accord as she raked her fingers through his hair then scooped it all up and tied it at the back of his head. “Looks good. All the muggle rock stars are rocking the messy bun.”

He chuckled and shrugged, “Don’t feel so rock and roll right now, but I like it if it keeps the hair out of my face. Thank you,” he smiled gratfuly. He pulled his things out of his bag as McGonagall started the lesson. “Hey Pads,” he whispered, still searching through his bag, “do you have an extra quill I can borrow?” He looked up to meet Sirius’ eyes and froze. The storm in his eyes was clouded by his furrowed brow, his lips parted slightly. He gulped inaudibly when Remus’ bewildered gaze dropped to his lips. Sirius slid the quill across the table, his eyes never leaving Remus’ face before he stood abruptly, causing his stool to tip over.

“Mr. Black?” McGonagall turned, a frown quickly forming across her face, “are you alright?”

“I’m actually feeling quite ill,” his eyes bore into Remus’; Remus who wanted so desperately to look away but couldn’t tear his gaze from the tempestuous glare. “Please, may I be excused to the infirmary?”

“Very well, do you need someone to accompany you? Mr. Potter,” she motioned to James who was already getting out of his chair, a look of alarm on his face as he looked between Remus and Sirius.

“No,” Sirius finally tore his eyes away from Remus who gasped raggedly, unaware that he’d been holding his breath the entire time. “I think I can manage thank you.” And he was gone.

It took Remus a second to collect himself and when he looked up he met James’ confused stare he could do nothing but shrug as he tried to think of what he had said or done to Sirius this morning or even the night before to make him look at him with such... anger? There wasn’t anything Remus could think of. Sure he’d teased Sirius a little the night before about wearing Lily’s shirt to bed, too be honest it was kind of hot, but no way was Remus going to allow himself to think about that right now. Not about how tight the t shirt had been as it was three sizes too small. Not about how it exposed his hips when he stretched his arms over his head to yawn or threw his head back in boisterous laughter. No, it wasn’t the time to think about that now. Not when his glare had been so intense. The daily lessons seemed endless and Remus was glad when finally it was time for dinner and he could stop pretending to listen about mugwort or goblin wars. He loosened his tie and dumped it along with his books on his bed before stepping into the bathroom. He promised to meet the boys in the dining hall after they visited Sirius in the hospital wing. He hadn’t returned to any of their lessons and James’ expression only grew more suspicious when Remus declined to join them.

“Did you have a fight?” he inquired as he and Peter hurried and stumbled up the stairs to catch up to Remus.

“I’m telling you I don’t know what happened,” the fat lady scoffed when Remus practically snarled the password at her, “one minute I was asking if he had an extra quill, the next he was storming out.”

“Maybe there was a misunderstanding?” Peter suggested, looking to James for an answer.

“Come with us Moony. We’ll sort it out, whatever it is,” James insisted once more at the foot of the stairs to their dorms.

“I’ll meet you at the hall. No way Sirius would willingly spend the night at the infirmary. We’ll sort it out there. Promise.” He hammed it up a bit to get James off his back. It had failed miserably but James didn’t press the issue and escorted Peter out of the common room.

Remus shut the bathroom door and flicked the light on. He startled at his reflection before leaning in a little closer. His usually green eyes were beginning to turn that hazel, almost vile yellow color they usually did when the full moon neared. His skin was pulled almost a little tighter across his face, giving his nose and jaw a sharper more defined look. His canines were becoming longer too, the pointed end sharper. He admired that the beard covered most of the scars that marred his face. Perhaps he wouldn’t shave it off it all. He scoffed at himself. He looked like a crappy extra in some muggle teen romance about vampires and werewolves with the over exaggerated features that somehow no human could seem to realize were not human.

Not human.

If this is what Remus saw... Had Sirius been cowering away from the wolf that lingered so close to the surface now? Had he looked at Remus with disgust in class now that his features reflected the monster within? He stumbled away from the mirror. Of course. No one else has to risk their lives for their werewolf friend. 

Some friend! 

Asking his friends to join the wolf to keep it from destroying itself. If Sirius had come to resent him, well, Remus couldn’t blame him. The grumbling of his stomach resurfaced him from his wallowing and he sighed. If he didn’t join the others in the hall, James would surely convince himself that something had happened between he and Sirius. Perhaps something had happened. Perhaps he was no longer Remus’ friend. Remus swallowed down the pain of the thought of losing Sirius and locked it away where he kept hidden all of the other feelings he had about the grey eyed man. There was nothing he could do about his appearance now. Concealing charms and even beautification charms were tricky things. He’d learned simple ones to keep the werewolf teltales away. He chanted a few then removed Lily’s hair tie, hoping to receive some coverage from the too long curls now. That was all he could do. The boys would see past his charms. They always did. It didn’t matter now. He had to face Sirius eventually.

But he wasn’t there. “Madame Pomfrey says he’s got some stomach bug. Wouldn’t even let us see him.”

“Hmm,” Remus stabbed at his peas with a sigh. A stomach bug, please.

“Won’t you pay him a visit?” Peter asked around a mouthful of potato and Remus grimaced.

“For what? You already said Pomfrey wont let us in.”

“Yeah,” James interjected then motioned towards himself and Peter, “US. But you? She’s got a soft spot.”

“So do most new borns. Regardless of the fondness or not, she wouldn’t let a stomach bug,” he said sarcastically and around air quotes, “spread. Not a chance.”

Peter and James shared a glance that Remus wanted to question but was interrupted by Lily’s arrival, a pretty brunette in tow. “James, I’m sorry to do this last minute. Do you mind if we reschedule tonight? I’m a little behind on the Transfigurations essay,” she admitted sheepishly, “mum was sick this weekend and I didn’t get around to it.”

“It’s no problem Evans,” James smiled and took her hand, “I could help you with it. Top of the class remember?” he grinned and she rolled her eyes but smiled fondly.

“That’s just because you managed to win McGonagall over with your stupid charm and clever spell use in your pranks.”

“You think I’m clever?” his grin widened and she smacked his arm. “Im only joking. Im happy to help. We can reschedule for this weekend. The Hogsmeade trip?”

Remus tuned out the rest of the conversation when he realized Lily’s friend had been staring. He panicked momentarily. Had the charm worn off? Was his werewolf showing?

“Hey.. Remus,” she smiled shyly.

Oh.

But what was her name. He was sure they shared a class but which-

“Have you started your essay for History of Magic? I can’t decide which war I want to write about,” she sat across from him and smiled politely. Alice?

“Umm, I’ve outlined a rough draft on The Goblin Rebellions.” Emma? Samantha?

“Oh, I thought about the Gargoyle Strike of 1911 but I’m a bit confused about one of the events. Do you think you might be able to tutor me some time?” She smiled and Remus blinked. What the fuck was her name?

“Uhh..”

“You can join our study group, Charlie,” Lily gave Remus a pointed look and he smiled gratefully when the girl turned to look at Lily. “It’s currently just James and I but I think Marlene and Dorcas might join.”

“Oh,” she smiled ruefully, “I wouldn’t want to fifth wheel... maybe if Remus came?” she turned to look at Remus once more.

“Fifth wheel? Who’s the other couple?” James whispered to Lily who shook her head and sighed.

“You can be so oblivious Potter...”

“Sure,” Remus finally smiled politely, regretting it almost immediately when he heard the girl’s heart leap.

“Okay! Great! Thank you, I’ll get the details from Lily,” she smiled and stood up. “I like your new hair by the way,” she threw over her shoulder with a smirk before striding away.

“Are Marlene and Dorcas dating?” James asked loudly and Lily sighed.

****

It was almost nine when Remus returned from the library, leaving James and Lily alone to flirt. Peter had gone off to meet some lass he was seeing who, if Remus was being completely honest, was sporting a mustache much greater than Peter’s. He tugged on his cloak and tossed it over his trunk, beginning to unbutton his shirt when he stumbled over a shoe. A doc marten to be exact. He turned to look in every direction of the dark room, his eyes not needing to adjust in the dark, until they landed on the figure perched at the window. Those very hostile eyes met his again. Was hostile the right word? It was a mixture of dismay and confusion and maybe... lust? That was ridiculous, but Remus wasn’t going to be the first to drop his stare this time.

“Thought you were ill.”

“I was.”

So that’s how it was going to be.

“Sick of your own bullshit?” Remus raised a brow and Sirius frowned. Remus had to remind himself that he didn’t have any right to be angry with Sirius. He asked a lot of him when he expected him at the shack every night. “If you don’t want to come anymore,” if you hate me now and despise me and resent me for risking your life every month, “I understand.” But Sirius looked confused.

“Sorry?”

“I know I... around this time I start to show... I’m sorry if it bothers you more now. I don’t want you to do something you don’t want to.” Sirius had hopped off the window sill and begun walking towards him, making him stumble again when he took a step back and took a hard seat onto his trunk.

“Remus,” he was so close now that he could feel Sirius’ breath on his face, “you don’t have a clue..” Sirius’ fingers had began toying with the collar of Remus’ shirt, tugging ever so gently as his eyes flashed up to meet Remus’.

Sirius wasn’t ready to confess. It wasn’t a secret that he was gay. All of the Marauders knew and a few blokes he’d hooked up with did too. But Remus? Remus who was too kind and too smart and too good for him. He had his own problems he didn’t need to take on more, especially not the kind that would surely come if they ever... If they ever what? Hooked up? Moony wasn’t hook up material. Not with his warm skin and needy fingers in the morning. It wasn’t like he and Remus hadn’t shared a bed before. They all had at some time or another. Platonic cuddles were important, James had said. But Sirius hadn’t expected it would feel like the waves crashing against the shore when Remus pressed his cold nose against his neck in the morning, his lips brushing there too as he mumbled sleepily about chocolate pudding. He didn’t feel that way when James threw a haphazard arm around him or even Peter wiggled in too closely. With Remus it always felt like he wasn’t close enough.

And it had been so easy, so bloody easy to ignore it. To ignore the need to be closer and to want to crawl into his bed every night instead of taking turns with James who thought Peter’s elbows were too knobby. If he could wake up every morning to Remus’ cold nose he could take on anything. It had all been so easy until this morning. They had all teased Remus about how high maintenance he was about his hair. He was always cleanly shaved, he got up extra early every day to do it. He had his hair cut every two weeks and he even made sure to trim across his chest. Yes he was a werewolf, but he didn’t have to flaunt it, so he had said. The last few weeks leading up to the full moon had been tough for him, however. He’d been much more tired, much more reluctant to get out of bed. The stubble last week had already made Sirius stare for just a little too long when he thought no one was looking. He didn’t expect that Remus would be sporting a whole beard just a week later. He looked older even, especially with the way his features were beginning to sharpen. Sirius longed so much to run his fingers along the slope of his jaw. He wondered if it would be as sharp, if it would cut, if the hair that hid it now would make it softer. Would it tickle his skin? His face if he just leaned in now? He swallowed audibly when those golden eyes, nearly hidden behind the over grown curls, glanced briefly at his lips.

“Don’t know what, Sirius?” Remus whispered. He wanted so much to believe that the question in Sirius’ eyes was the one he wanted to hear.

“Hey Moony we went to check on Pads but he’s not,” James barged into the room with Peter in tow and they froze. Sirius took a step away from Remus and smiled.

“I’m feeling much better now. Pomfrey let me sleep in my own room,” he smiled as convincingly as he could.

“That’s great! Was it something you ate? I thought the biscuits at breakfast were a little off,” Peter had pushed past James and was already undressing to get into his pajamas.

“That must’ve been it,” Sirius gave him a small smile that disappeared when he met James’ eyes again. Remus looked between them. Between Sirius’ pleading eyes and James’ knowing ones.

Oh.

He had to pay a certain red head a visit.

*****

He sat still in the girls’ dorm, watching through the mirror as Marlene pouted. “Are you sure you want to cut it all off Remus?”

“Marlene, I already promised to keep the beard. The hair keeps getting in my eyes though. Please? Just some length.”

“Oh alright,” she sighed and she picked up the shears. Mary tapped her chin.

“What if we kept the length at the top.”

“Whatever just get it out of my face.”

“Ooo a werewolf with a temper, how original,” Lily grinned at his scowl. And then he remembered he was supposed to make nice because-

“Hey Lils?”

“Hmm?” She was distracted. The girls had taken advantage of Remus asking for a hair cut to have a spa day. Marlene was the only person that Remus trusted with his hair. Supposedly she’d taken lessons over the summer with a muggle cousin of hers. She’d made quite the profit dying and cutting hair when lessons were over. “If I wasn’t so sure I wanted to join the ministry, perhaps I’d open my own salon,” she had mentioned the first time she cut Remus’ hair. She was the only one who could get it exactly the way he wanted it.

“Want to play a game to pass the time?”

“Does it involve using my hands, kind of occupied..”

“No, Marlene would kill me if I moved a muscle.”

“Got that right,” she huffed.

“What game?”

“I’ll ask you yes or no questions and you have to answer with the first one that comes to mind.”

“You’re looking for trouble, me thinks,” Mary lifted a cucumber from her eye to peek at Remus, “there’s something he wants you to confess. Don’t do it Lily.”

“Remus is smarter than that. If he wants answers he should ask like a big boy, isn’t that right Remus?” Lily laughed at his scowl through the mirror.

“I’m not certain you’d tell me.”

“Alright Remus, I’m in good spirits, I’ll humor you this once. Go on,” and she was back to painting her nails.

“Do you like chocolate ice cream?”

“No.”

“Do you prefer McGonagall over Bins?”

“Yes.”

“Do you like Shakespeare?”

“Absolutely not. That won’t change, leave me be!!”

“Yes or no only!”

“Alright!”

“Do you prefer butterbeer over fire whiskey.”

“Yes.”

“Do you fancy James?”

“Yes.”

“Does Sirius fancy me?”

“WAIT!” Marlene shouted making them all jump.

“Oh no,” Lily groaned at her ruined toes, “Marlene you’ve bloody ruined them.”

“No no no,” Mary was removing the cucumbers again, “forget your toes for a minute. Remus,” she smiled condescendingly, “sweetie,” Remus growled lowly but she persisted, “do you fancy Sirius?”

“Stupid question babe,” Marlene laughed and Remus sputtered.

“Excuse me?”

“Oh Remus really,” Marlene gave him a tired look, “it’s so bloody obvious. You practically drool over him.”

“Fine. I’m in love with the idiot is that what you want?” They all froze before sharing a look and then turning to him.

“You’re in love with him?”

“I thought it was obvious?” Remus scowled and Lily waddled over to sit in front of him next to Mary.

“Well I mean it was obvious you were totally gone for him but, in love? That’s different...” Mary shook her head. Remus was starting to feel nervous. Maybe love was more than he bargained for. Here he was confessing and he wasn’t even sure. He was sure of his own feelings but what did they matter if Sirius didn’t feel the same?

“You didn’t answer my question...”

“He doesn’t fancy you,” Lily shook her head and Marlene snorted, “he worships the ground you walk on.”

“Get stuffed,” Remus rolled his eyes and Lily flipped him the bird.

“Do you know how before James and Lily were dating, they would go on and on and on about each other? And if they were having a conversation, they acted like they weren’t aware that anyone else was in the room?” Marlene had taken up the scissors again as she asked.

“Come off it,” Lily blushed.

“Sirius is like that about you. Only worse.”

“Worse?” Remus breathed almost inaudibly. He didn’t believe it when he asked. He wondered and he hoped so much that it were true but having it confirmed felt like a glacier melting in his chest.

“He pines,” Mary grimaced.

“Merlin, does he pine. And he rambles too,” Marlene shook her head.

“He whines! That’s the worst part,” Lily laughed.

The floor beneath him felt unsteady. Was the chair swaying?

“Get a grip Remus,” Marlene’s brow furrowed, a bit if concern on her face, “is that not what you wanted to hear?”

“I- yes but...”

“What is it?” Lily asked.

“What now?”

“Men are impossible,” Mary rolled her eyes then placed fresh cucumber rounds over them.

“You know he has feelings for you, the same ones you have for him, and you don’t know what to do now? Do you need to hear about the birds and the bees too?” Marlene laughed and Mary snorted.

“Birds and the birds Marls.”

“I think men are the bees?”

“Can it you two,” Lily grinned, “Remus... you have to tell him. When you’re ready of course. Doesn’t have to be today. But also what are you waiting for!”

“Poor Charlie will be crushed,” Mary chuckled and Marlene’s fingers froze in his hair.

“Charlie... Charlotte McLaggen? Yuck please, you can do better than that, Remus.”

“Mean, she’s a nice girl,” Lily frowned.

“Better than Sirius?” Marlene countered and they burst out in laughter.

“That’s really a matter of opinion,” Lily shrugged and Remus sighed.

“I can hear you lot laughing from down the hall,” Dorcas came through the door, arms full of sweets from the kitchens. “You started without me!!” she feigned a look of disbelief and pouted.

“Are those for me?” Marlene smiled at the chocolates in her hands. Remus didn’t hear the rest of the conversation however. He was too focused on Marlene’s face. She was looking at Dorcas.... he had to look away, it felt like intruding to keep staring. He could only smile when he realized that Sirius had looked at him that way the night before.

*****

It’d been a week since the night in the girl’s dorms. Remus, who now found himself trapped between a bookshelf and Charlie’s fingers in his hair, regretted most deeply that he had not yet confessed to Sirius about his feelings.

“It’s such a shame you cut so much of it off Remus,” she frowned and Remus smiled politely. He wrapped his fingers around her wrist and gently removed her hand from his hair and placed it in her own lap.

“It’ll grow.” He was ashamed of his inability to conceal his irritation. The full moon had come and gone and he was tired, his body still feeling the effects of the change. He’d managed to get a new scar that split his left eyebrow and he was happy now that he had allowed Marlene to leave his hair just a little longer than he usually wore it. But oh how Charlotte loved it.

“You just look like such a bad boy. Its sexy.”

Remus wanted nothing more than to be done with this damn study group so he could find Sirius. He kept waiting for the right moment but maybe there wasn’t one. Maybe any chance to tell him was the right moment. Any chance to be able to press his lips against his-

“Remus?” James snapped him out of his trance.

“Hmm?”

“Same time tomorrow? The weather’s too nice out we aren’t going to get anything done now. Even you seem distracted,” James grinned and Remus smiled sheepishly.

“I apologize I-“

“Maybe we can skip off to Hogsmeade, Remus,” Charlotte interrupted him and Lily began to pick up her books faster when she noticed Remus’ tight lipped smile, “visit Madame Puddifoot’s tea shop?”

“Charlotte-“

“Charlie,” she grinned and Remus all but screamed.

“Charlie,” he stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder, “it is never gonna happen between us. I’m sorry I wasted your time. I just don’t see-“

“Oh... oh you’re joking!” she laughed and shoved his arm, “you’re so funny.”

“I’m not funny, I’m gay. Now if you’ll excuse me,” Remus strode off then, leaving behind an open mouthed Charlie and a laughing Lily and James.

Remus ran out of the library and out towards the lake. It was common to find Sirius under the tree there, having a nap and ditching study hall. Remus could see his boots protruding from behind one of the roots and smiled. He sped up, wincing as his muscles protested. He dropped his bag at the edge of the lake, leaning over and bracing himself on his knees as he wheezed for air.

“Remus?” Sirius sat up, a look of alarm on his face, “are you alright?” he scrambled to his knees and made his way over, pressing his hands to Remus’ shoulders. “Hey,” he tilted his head and smiled when his eyes met Remus’, “alright Moony?”

Remus had just begun to settle his heavy breathing but he was suddenly breathless again. He straightened himself and Sirius dropped his hands, taking a step back before Remus caught his arm.

“I’m not... I mean..” he shut his eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before looking at Sirius again. “I’m much better than alright.”

“Is that right,” he reached up, “you’ve cut it.” Remus wrapped his fingers around his wrist, chuckling at the familiar action. Except he didn’t mind these fingers in his hair as much. He kept his hold on Sirius’ wrist and smiled.

“It wasn’t very me... plus it tickled my nose,” he grinned wider when Sirius laughed, “I think I’m in love with you.”

He’d stopped laughing then. “Think you’re still under the effects of the full moon there Moony,” but his smile never faded.

“Oh I definitely am. My legs are ready to give out actually,” he released Sirius’ wrist then, leaning into the fingers that had tangled into his hair and were now pressed to his face.

“I’m so stupid,” Sirius laughed, “I’d hidden it so well... who knew I had a thing for hairy men.”

“Everyone. I might be a little ashamed to say I asked Lily and Marlene.”

“Moony!” He exclaimed, “I didn’t take you for a gossip.”

“Be nice,” Remus’ face hurt from smiling, “I had to be sure... didn’t want to make a fool of myself or even push you away. I’d rather be your friend and keep my feelings to myself if it means you’d stay in my life.”

“What made you change your mind? Seemed to be in a rush when you got here,” he chuckled, “so eager to give me a half arsed confession.”

“Half arsed!” Remus’ eyebrows shot up.

“I think I’m in love with you,” Sirius repeated and Remus grinned.

“I know that I am... you however, I think you’re just lusting,” he teased and Sirius dropped his hand, giving him a small shrug.

“Mayhaps I am. So what now?”

“I think that’s up to you,” Remus couldn’t help but be surprised at the shy smile that Sirius offered him. Sirius reached forward once more to grip the front of Remus’ shirt, stood on his toes, and pressed his lips to his.

“The hair I can part with, but please... never shave that beard,” he mumbled against Remus’ lips.

[jilytho]

Fools in Uber Pools Ch 4

Hello!! Here is the 4th and final part of my Uber fic! Thank you to everyone who has read and said so many lovely things I appreciate you all! 

Read Ch 4 below or on AO3 or read from the beginning here

**Wednesday, November 11th 8:52PM **

Your Uber Pool is arriving. Please meet your driver, Leonardo, at the predetermined pick up location. 

Wednesday night was Lad’s Night. Tradition. Food and beer and movies and the occasional board game. Then, Remus and Sirius got together which was fantastic. So exciting, true love and joy and pure happiness for his two best friends in the world. Consequential to their happiness, however, meant that James’s beloved Lad’s Nights frequently became him crashing Date Night. Even though they did their best to keep his third wheeling to a minimum and keep it Lad’s Night, it frequently became Lad’s plus a lot of PDA. Tonight was one of those nights.

Sirius picked a horror flick just for an excuse to dump popcorn on James’s head during jump scares and to curl up on top of Remus. James had plenty of practice ignoring their canoodling but apparently they were feeling especially noodley tonight, nonstop noodley really. 

Remus had made it clear that he would drive the both of them home that night but each passing minute made it more and more clear that Sirius would be spending the night and James had the option of sleeping on the couch or Ubering himself out of there. Once Sirius flung his shirt and jeans off and onto James’s head in one motion about three quarters of the way through the movie, he settled on calling his second Uber of the day.

Not only his second of the day, but his ninth of the week simply because James is pathetic. He knows this, he feels this, and anyone who looked at his Uber ride history could prove it. But he couldn't help himself. How was he supposed to deal with the fact that he had met possibly the most amazing woman in the world and then he just stood there and watched her drive away. Correction, slammed the door in her face and then watched her drive away. 

Half of him wanted to just go stand outside of the building they had dropped her off at that first Uber trip and just pray she actually lives there and he could stage a run in, but he felt that was likely to get him a restraining order instead of a girlfriend. 

He stopped himself from doing that (barely) but wasn’t able to stop himself from taking an Uber every day since then. Pathetically paying for a $10.60 Uber ride to work, and then another to go to lunch, and then another to get to the coffee shop closest to that apartment they had dropped her off at, and just one around the block. But no. No Lily. Not even any other passengers except for that very morning when a lady rode with him to the bookstore holding a very large lizard on her lap. 

Lizard Lady was the final blow that pushed him back to reality and to take Uber’s strictly out of necessity, instead of desperation. 

And as much as he loved Sirius and Remus, and loved them being happy, seeing them so happy was certainly a desperate situation. 

He jumped in place on the sidewalk, running his hands together for warmth waiting for Leonardo and his SUV to pull up and looking over his shoulder, still on edge from the horror flick. 

The car pulled up and before James could approach the driver and check for his name, the backseat window came down and a smirking red head was peering out of it. Suddenly the whole night began to look up. 

“Well, look who it is!”

“Lily! It's you! Again!”

“James, it's me! Again!” His entire chest felt bubbly as she slid across the seats so he could come in next to her and watched her smile nearly match his in excitement. He said hello to Leonardo passingly, all without taking his eyes off of Lily, sliding in as close as he could without being considered publicly indecent.

“Wow, of course you would be here right now.” She shook her head admonishingly, leaning back and rubbing at her eyes with her hands. 

“What’s that mean? You manifesting my presence?”

“You wish, Breakfast Boy.” She poked him in the arm, “I’ve just had the worst night ever and was just thinking I needed ice cream or something equally as yummy to cheer me up.”

“So I’m yummy, am I?” His grin split his face wide open, those bubbles in his chest started to feel more like roaring lions now.

“Mmm, something like that. Maybe yummy isn’t the right word. Dashing, handsome, half decent car ride entertainment. Dealer’s choice, honestly.”

“I think I’ll stick with yummy, but really love to hear more about this whole ‘dashing’ thing. Is that like a Prince Charming vibe? That’s really the one I’ve been trying to put out. Prince Charming could make a better nickname than Breakfast Boy.”

“Please, much more like a hungover bumbling idiot than a Prince Charming, don’t you think?.”

“The abuse! I swear, you sign up for an Uber pool, count your blessings that you’ve been lucky enough to ride along with the most stunning redhead in this half the hemisphere not once, but three times, only to find that she’s five feet of beratement and insults.” He leaned back in his seat, mockingly shaking his head.

“Only in this half of the hemisphere? What stunning redheads does Antarctica have to offer?” 

“I’ve never been to the southern hemisphere, I just feel I can’t accurately make a statement about the redheads there. Happy to pop down south for a few days to get some proper research. I’m sure after proper investigation you will be conclusively proven to be the most stunning redhead in both halves of the hemisphere.” 

“Quite the pragmatic answer. I appreciate your commitment to well researched compliments. Truly, the dedication is admirable. Unnecessary though, I feel validated enough. I’ll just stick to this half of the hemisphere to avoid any possibility of losing my title.”

“Probably smart. Wouldn’t want to pop down and come back to find Ed Sheeran has gotten a six pack and has overtaken your spot.”

“Excuse me,” her jaw dropped lightly, “you think all Ed Sheeran would need is a six pack to magically become more attractive than me?”

“Lily, look. I didn’t want to insult you and please don’t mistake me, you’re perfect in literally every single way, like designed by the Gods perfect. But Ed Sheeran is a ginger that can sing and plays multiple instruments. And again, goddess that you are, are you really telling me you can top that?”

“Never in my life have I been so confused if I should be flattered or disgusted.”

“Lily?” Leonardo was turned around to face them. “We’re here.” James whipped around to see they had somehow ended up in front of the same apartment building they had dropped her off the first time. He had barely noticed they started moving, nevermind stopped moving to pull in front of her destination. 

His heart sank as he watched her gather her belongings and unbuckle her seat belt. Who knows when the next time they’d take an Uber together would be. He might not see her for days, or weeks, or God forbid never. 

“Lily, wait!” He blurted the words out, not even slightly knowing what he’d say next. 

Green eyes snapped to his, one hand on the door handle prepared to swing out of the car. 

“Yes, James?”

“CanwegoforanUbertogethernexttime?”

“I’m sorry, James, what was that?” Lily’s eyes wide and mildly concerned. Even Leonardo was turned around looking at him like he had just pulled the pin out of a grenade and suggested they all sit around and watch it explode from real closeup.

“What if,” he worked to speak slowly, feeling his entire face flush scarlet, “the next time we take an Uber together, we get out at the same place.” 

“Like a carpool?” Her eyebrow rose up slowly, corner of her mouth sliding up.

“Like go somewhere. Like go somewhere together, like get in the same car on purpose. And then get out at the same time and go somewhere. Like dinner.”

“You want to get a ride to dinner together?” She was fucking with him. Of course, she couldn’t make this easy when his entire body was turning red. 

“Yeah, erm dinner as like a date, if that’s not super weird or doesn’t make you uncomfortable.” Her grin didn’t slip, and he felt his whole body tense and the rambles coming on, “like get a ride to go to dinner together but like at the same time. And then eat together. And get a ride home. But maybe not home together. Because erm first date and I wouldn’t want to pressure or be too forward. So just dinner. Like a dinner date. Or a coffee date, if that would be okay. Of course not if you’re uncomfortable or think I’m being insane but I think you’re fun and I have fun in the car with you and I think we could have even more fun if it was a meeting on purpose and I’m going to stop talking but Lily, will you go out with me?” His voice rose dramatically to the end until he was practically shouting at her.

“Yes, James.” He felt his entire body let go and those lions started to fire up again,.“Yes, I would love to go out with you. Been waiting for you to ask actually.”

He very suddenly felt like the Uber could run over him and he wouldn’t even feel it. “You should have said!”

She swung the door open and stepped out, looking down at him, red hair swinging around her shoulders. “It wasn’t like I was being subtle. You’re just entirely too thick to pick up on signals. But yes, I would love to go out with you James.”

“Brilliant! Fantastic! We’ll do that then.” He smiled brilliantly, cheeks beginning to hurt.

“You know,” Lily leaned back into the car to whisper, “this is usually the time where a normal bloke would ask for my phone number. You know, so we could set this up later and let Leonardo get on with his evening,” she looked pointedly towards Leonardo who was, watching them both with a mixture of exasperation and amusement. 

“Right! Sorry, Leonardo.” He ran a hand through his hair sheepishly. “Could you please put me out my misery and let me have your number?” he begged.

“Lucky for you,” she dug around in her massive bag once more, “I came prepared. Been prepared actually since our first ride together.” She slid a slip of paper with a number, her number(!), across the seat and into his hand. 

“Use it and let poor Leo go home, alright?” She smiled one last time and slammed the door. 

He sat back in his chair, dazed and overwhelmed, and disgustingly pleased with himself.

“Sorry about that, Leonardo.”

“No worries mate.” He pulled away from the curb slowly, winking at James in the mirror. “Wasn’t expecting her to agree if I’m being honest. Good for you, mate.”

Damn right, good for him. 

[sugdenlovesdingle]

Flufftober day 19: Sharing a bed

Fluffy socks (AO3 link)

I will not be held responsible for any socks-in-bed-discourse this may cause ;)

-----

“Thanks for your help mum, but we can manage from here.” Aaron said, dragging himself off of the sofa and walking his mum to the door.

“No, no, look at all these unpacked boxes. It’ll take you ages to sort all that. If we help, we’ll have you both set up in no time.”

“We’ve got the important things sorted. The bed is in one piece and has sheets on it, the blinds in the bedroom are up… the rest can wait.”

“But your entire kitchen is still in boxes!”

“We already ate tonight didn’t we?”

“And thanks again for treating us, we really appreciate it.” Robert added.

“But what about tomorrow morning?”

“We’ll just unpack what we need and sort out the rest as we go.”

“Or we’ll just grab something from the café around the corner.” Aaron shrugged. “We’ll be fine.”

“Let me just help you unpack the kitchen so you can cook tomorrow.”

“It’s alright mum, really, we’ll be fine.”

“I think the lads want to be alone now, Chas.” Cain said, giving her a pointed look and steering her out the now open door. “Bye lads. We’ll come see you when you’ve settled in completely.”

Chas protested and resisted but realised her brother was about 3 seconds away from throwing her over his shoulder and carrying her to the car, so eventually just gave up and walked with him.

“We should get going too, bro.” Adam said, getting up from his moving box turned chair and patting his brother on the shoulder.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Matty got up too and shrugged on his jacket. “Thanks for the pizza and beer guys.”

“Yeah, let us know when the housewarming party is.” Adam joked and the two of them left too.

Aaron closed the door behind them and leaned against it, closing his eyes and letting out a tired sigh.

“Finally.”

Robert smiled and walked up to him and put his hands on his hips.

“You know, we can just kick people out now. It’s our house. Our home.”

Aaron opened his eyes and smiled back, covering Robert’s hands with his own, and slowly moving them to his waist.

“Are you happy?” he asked after a few minutes of the two of them practically swaying on the spot.

“I’ve never been happier in my life.” Robert promised and emphasised his words with a soft press of lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Aaron replied easily and supressed a yawn. They’d had an early start and a busy day and it was starting to catch up to him. “I know we said we’d christen every room… but I’m absolutely knackered.”

Robert sighed and dropped his head on Aaron’s shoulder.

“Me too. I could fall asleep right here on the spot.”

“We’ll start the christening tomorrow then.” Aaron grinned and felt Robert drop a kiss in his neck.

“I’ll hold you to that.” He pulled back and looked around the room. “I really don’t feel like setting up the tv… but my laptop is charged and I’ve downloaded some stuff. We could watch something from bed?” Robert suggested.

“Sounds good.” Aaron agreed. “But I get to pick the film. Last time you chose something it was this weird arthouse thing I still don’t understand.”

Robert laughed and just took dug around a box labelled Robert Work Stuff for his laptop and followed Aaron up the stairs.

“I’m just going to have a quick shower.” He announced and disappeared into the ensuite with his toiletries and pyjamas, leaving Aaron to pick the film.

“Rocketman? Bohemian Rhapsody? What’s with all the music films?” Aaron asked, raising his voice to be heard over the sound of the shower. “I suppose it’s better than the arthouse stuff.” He muttered to himself.

While Robert faffed about (Aaron’s words) in the bathroom, he decided to facetime Liv for a quick catch up.

“Hey stranger. How’s the new place?” She answered.

“A mess.” Aaron sighed. “But we’re getting there. The bedroom is sorted. That’s the most important part.”

Liv pulled a disgusted face at him, making Aaron laugh.

“Show me around then.” Liv told him and Aaron turned his phone around to show her the bedroom.

“That’s as far as we’ve gotten really.” He told her. “We’ve unpacked some boxes downstairs and moved the furniture in… but we’re nowhere near done yet.”

“Well you better get moving then so I can come visit. I demand the biggest bedroom in the house. It’s only right for your guests.” Liv teased.

“You’d be a guest so you get the guest bedroom. The tiny one at the other end of the house. Or the shed in the garden if you snore too loudly.”

“I do not snore. That’s you. I feel sorry for Rob for having to put up with you.”

“I’d be nicer if you still wanted to come visit, you know, or we’ll make you sleep with the pigs over at the farm.”

They chatted for a bit until Robert came back into the room, about 10 minutes later, showered and changed into his pj’s.

He stopped in the doorway between the ensuite and their bedroom.

It wasn’t that they'd never shared a bed before, not even that they hadn't shared this bed before, but it still felt different and he wanted to take it all in.

“What are you doing all the way over there? Get into bed. Come say hi to Liv.”

“I just want to remember this moment. The first night in our own home.” Robert said. “No crazy relatives, no loud roommates, no annoying neighbours... Just you and me.”

“Soft lad. Just get over here.”

Robert chuckled and climbed onto the bed next Aaron, settling on top of the covers against the headboard and leaned into view to wave at Liv.

“Hey you, how’s Dublin life going?”

“Seriously?” Aaron interrupted.

“What?”

“Those things on your feet.”

“What about them?”

“You can’t be serious.”  He turned the phone so Liv could see what he meant. “Look at this, Liv!”

“What? Leave me and my fluffy socks alone! They’re comfy! And my feet were cold.”

“Rob, they’re purple. And fluffy.” Liv stated.

“So?”

“Since when do you even wear those kind of things?”

Robert shrugged.

“I came across them in town the other day. This market stall sold them. They just looked comfy.”

“You have to break up with him now, Aaron. This is too much. The ugly shirts is one thing ,but now he’s wearing fluffy socks to bed.”

Aaron shook his head in disbelief.

“One night of living together and you’ve already killed our sex life.”

“Wow, mixed company here! I’m going to go and leave you two to it. Let me know when my suite is ready for a visit.” Liv said and ended the call with a quick wave to her brothers.

Robert laughed.

“You’ll learn to love me and my fluffy socks. Or you could just put on a pair yourself. I got two pairs for a fiver.”

“Absolutely not.” Aaron was adamant. “And if you think I’m going anywhere near you while you’re wearing those, you’re mistaken.”

“You know you can’t resist me.”

“Those monstrosities on your feet are making it a lot easier.” Aaron said, but snuggled up to Robert anyway, using his chest as a pillow. “Just start the film already.”

Robert grabbed the computer and, much to Aaron’s annoyance, wriggled about a bit to get comfortable, and hit play.

Only after a short while he felt his eyelids growing heavy and he was fighting to stay awake. Next to him Aaron had already dozed off. He carefully shut down his computer and put it on the makeshift bedside table, otherwise known as moving box.

“Aaron.” He softly shook his boyfriend to wake him up enough to move them both under the covers, where Aaron wrapped himself around him again right away, making Robert smile. It always amazed him how clingy Aaron got when he was half asleep.

He settled in Aaron’s embrace.

“Goodnight.” He whispered and kissed him.

“’Night.” Aaron mumbled. “But those socks are still horrendous.”

[feckin-zicons]

Squids, Dancing, and Dirty thoughts... Not necessarily in that order or all at once.

Apparently people like this? I am more confused than Liam is in this chapter. Which you know, makes sense bc this character only exists in my head, but also doesn’t at all bc I have no idea what goes on in there most of the time. Anyway this is for Zayn, Oxford commas, @stanmedusa who pointed out Zayn was also an Oxford comma stan, @redyellowberry, and their anon to started this mess. Also please imagine Zayn with his current blue hair, but also with his long Aladdin hair bc that’s what I’ve been doing and oh holy gods do I need that to happen. Please. Hair gods make it happen I’m begging

Same warnings as ever its 4AM, this is much longer than planned, and I have no interest in editing, making it sound coherent, or good. No, I don’t know about the squids either.

Parts 1&2 here

Liam would like to point out while he's not a stranger to feeling confused, he's still having trouble pinpointing how exactly he got to be Dance Mistress Irina Alinova's personal bitch. 

Ever since he accidentally interrupted one of the dance practises while looking for a missing prop for Director Corden, more and more of them started disappearing only to show up in the basement. No one else was interested in facing the Dance Mistresses' wrath, but Liam didn't mind the yelling. As long as Mistress Alinova didn't start throwing things, he figured he was safe enough. After all, it gave him the chance to see the blue haired ballerino again.  

Zayn Malik, the god in mortal form, the prima ballerino, the prettiest man Liam had ever seen, who had no idea who Liam even was. 

Liam had it bad. 

Liam had it so bad.

Liam had it so bad he tripped over thin air, spilled hot coffee over himself, and walked into a door when he thought he saw him at a Costas with Louis. The man he saw wasn't Zayn, thank fuck, but the entire sequence of events did give Louis more ammunition to tease him with. Stupid pretty boys with long blue hair and piercings sent from hell just to ruin Liam's life. Yeah, he was a goner. 

Louis dragged out the whole sorry story after Liam texted him about spiking his lunch and laughed himself sick knowing just how much of a mess Liam became around people he was interested in. They still didn't talk about Danielle. Which was a good thing considering the end of that relationship had Liam pretty much swearing off women for the rest of his life. No pussy was worth that mess. Dick though? Liam was willing to take that chance on Zayn, even if asking Harry didn't give him much information. 

According to Harry, Zayn had been around for a few years but mostly kept to himself or the other dancers. There was something about him throwing a fit a few weeks before Liam showed up. Upset about being forced to learn the choreography for Winston's show when it was just going to fail on opening night like it always did. 

Liam thought he had a point, considering. He didn't know what bananas, ballet, and really bad rapping had to do with King James VI but didn't want to voice that in front of the man playing the gay king. No one dared fire Zayn, considering he kept the whole theatre afloat, but it also didn't make many actors happy with him. Especially not Mizz Wendy Williams, who played Marie Antoinette in the play. Again, Liam had a lot of questions he didn't dare ask out loud. It's not like he was ever good at history, so it was entirely possible the two lived in the same time period. Or it was some sort of allegory that went over his head like the aristocrats wearing banana suits did. 

Louis always found his stories about his placement hilarious, but even that one had him wondering if there wasn't some sort of gas leak in their apartment. It wouldn't have been the first time, or the second. Most likely, it was the theatre that was growing some sort of mold that caused insanity if breathed in. Some of the things Liam had been forced to clean in the past few weeks were unspeakable. 

But even that probably couldn't explain Zayn Malik. Nothing could explain that sort of beauty and talent. Or those hands... and thighs... and fingers. Ung. Liam would love to get up close and personal with all of him.  

Either way, Liam had just been cleaning the mirrors in the practice room, humming along to Brandy and Monica on the radio, wondering if Niall was actually going to come down and help him instead of hiding away like a coward. Again. By the second verse, he'd given up trying not to sing along, not expecting anyone to come by. It was late, the dancer's practise long over, and Winston left screaming over an hour ago. Liam would have done a recce and skipped out on the last half hour if one of the managers wasn't sticking around still. Piers Morgan, an absolute cunt who treated the lads on probation like hardened criminals, and he was the prison warden. Despite, you know, most of the lads on summary probation, and Liam’s arson charge being the most serious crime out of all of them. 

Anyway, the last thing he's expecting is for anyone to come in while he's singing about the boy being his, rolling his body to the beat. Which is probably how he ends up tripping over himself when he notices Zayn leaning up against the open door, watching him. Watching him, in bright, tight, teal dance tights (were dance tights usually blue? They should be) that looked nice with his hair and complimented the gold tones of his skin. The skin he could see a lot of. Because he was shirtless. Because he was shirtless and had a lot more tattoos than Liam realized. Tattoos Liam wanted to bite. Not hard enough to make a mark or anything, that would be sacrilegious, but enough to make him make a sound. God, Liam hoped he was a moaner. Not that he thought he had a chance with Zayn or anything, but it would be a shame if Zayn was the type that stayed quiet during sex. 

Except he wasn't being quiet now, he was talking. And Liam was staring at him, like an idiot, not paying attention. Because he was an idiot. 

Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, why did this always happen to him? 

"Er, what?" Liam asked, desperately hoping he didn't sound as stupid as he felt right then, which was pretty fucking stupid. He probably looked even stupider than he felt and ruined his chances at ever-

"I asked if you were almost done? Was planning on practising more tonight," Zayn answered him. 

Zayn, Zayn Fucking Malik, answered him, and he was still staring at him like an idiot. Shit Liam say something.

"Pretty" 

Not that you idiot.

"What?" Zayn asked, looking confused and adorable.

Oh god, he was precious. Was that a smile? Was he smiling at him? Liam? Oh no.

"Pretty much, I meant. Pretty much done," Liam replied, wishing the ground would swallow him whole. "Just one more mirror, and I'll be out of your way."

There, those were words, sentences even. Now all he had to do was act normal and finish cleaning. Easy. 

"So, Brandy and Monica, right? You like R'n'B then?" Zayn asked him, walking into the room with a heavy dance bag, setting it off to the side.

Liam felt himself flushing as he turned back around to finish cleaning the mirror so Zayn wouldn't see.  "Yeah," he answered, trying not to peek at Zayn bending over as he rifled through his belongings. 

Those legs, Fuck. Liam wondered what it'd feel like to have them around his- 

"I didn't expect that," Zayn said, drawing Liam out of his filthy thoughts, and making him turn back around.

"What?"

"No, I- I didn't mean it in a bad way or anything. I guess I just expected you to listen to more rock?" 

Liam was pretty sure he missed half of the conversation somewhere. Was Zayn blushing? He was so pretty. Wow. 

"No, I like everything," he replied dumbly. They were still talking about music, right? That would make sense. Why was Zayn talking to him again? God, Liam couldn't handle this. "Do you like it? The music, I mean."

"Yeah, grew up listening to ‘em. My older sister was obsessed with Monica. So... Who's your favourite artist?" 

"Artist? Oh uh, I've been listening to a lot of Post Malone? How about you? What do you- who do you listen to?" 

"Post Malone's sick, mate. I like most music I guess, but I've been listening to a lot of The Weekend."

"Have you heard his new album?"

"Yeah, it's sick! Do you-" Zayn was cut off by Niall running in out of breath. The bright orange tee that labelled him as one of the community service workers was wet and stained black. Actually.. all of him was soaked and stained black. Was that ink?

"Hey, Payno, are you done yet because we have a situation upstairs," Niall gasped out, hands on his knees, looking like he'd just seen his life flash before his eyes. 

"What the hell happened to you?" 

"There's a squid stick in the toilet." 

"There's a what?"

"A Squid! A giant fucking squid in the toilet!" 

Liam blinked in confusion, trying to wrap his head around why there would be a squid anywhere near the theatre let alone one of the toilets. Did Corden want live animals in his show now? Or Winston. It could be either of them. 

"Why do you need me?" he asked. "I don't know anything about squids."

Niall sounded like he was at the end of his rope when he replied, "You know something about plumbing at least!" 

"Not a lot! Enough to keep the water on at home, but I'm not a plumber." 

"Doesn't matter, we need your help, Ashtons gone to find some butter," Niall said, stomping back around, leaving behind a trail of watery black ink. "We'll meet you upstairs when you're done."

"Wait, what do you need butter for?!" Liam called after him but didn't get a reply. Butter? How was butter going to help?

A muffled giggle distracted Liam from his thoughts, and he was abruptly reminded Zayn was still in the room. Zayn, might as well be a god, was in the room, and Liam was just talking about squids in toilets.

Why him?

"I guess I should go see what they need help with?" Liam tried to say without sounding... Well, he wasn't sure what the proper response was in this situation or how to react to it. 

Zayn smiled at him, and oh. How was it possible he looked even more attractive now? 

Liam thinks Zayn said something about the other lads needing him and it sounding urgent, but really, Liam was in a daze until he also got a face full of ink... From another squid in an entirely different toilet. 

What the fuck.

Louis was never going to let him live this down. 

Really? Squids???

[jinmukangwrites]

Whumptober Day 16

Hallucinations

Ao3

-o-o-o-o-

"Nightwing, report."

Bruce says it more heartlessly than he means to. Here he is, dragging his eldest child through the grimy streets of the Theater District, kicking up abandoned, soggy pieces of litter as they stumble inch by inch towards the Batmobile, and he asks his barely lucid son to report as he hangs around Bruce's shoulder by a limp arm. 

And maybe it's just the quote unquote emotional constipation in him. Maybe whenever he sees any of his children this out of commission, something inside of him subconsciously crawls away to hide. Turn his face. Harden every single one of his outer layers until the sight of pain in his children's faces just doesn't bother him as much as it probably should. 

It does bother him. He just can't ever bring himself to show it while they're still in the heat of the moment. 

"Chum," he repeats when Dick simply lets out a little mewl. "Can you make it back to the cave?" 

:READMORE:

Dick shakes his head against Bruce's shoulder, pain wrinkling the skin at the corners of his wandering eyes. Bruce noted Dick's been looking slightly off and to the left for the past five minutes. Bruce wishes he could see what Dick sees right now, tell him whatever he's seeing over there isn't real and it's all Crane's fear toxin, but he knows better. He's worked with plenty of victims who hallucinate enough times to know the worst thing you could do was ask them about the sights and sounds they were experiencing. Whether it's illusions caused by drugs or a mentally ill patient in Arkham, asking them to verbalize and explain was just as good as making it a reality for them. 

Bringing it out of their heads and into the real world. 

Judging by how Dick's still managing to get his legs to work alongside Bruce as they walk a little further, the delusions he's seeing must not be fully effecting him. 

"B- I…" Dick swallows and shakes his head again. "It's bad this- this time. I- I don't know if… if I can…"

He cuts off with a groan and Bruce drags them forward ever faster, wincing at the strain of the movement added with Dick's extra weight bearing down upon his wounded calf, sliced open by Scarecrow's scythe not ten minutes ago. 

Bruce has already administered the antidote into Dick's bloodstream, but it seems Crane has altered his formula once again. The most it's doing is slowing down the effects, but Bruce knows that sooner or later Dick will be completely lost to his nightmares, and Bruce will be helpless to do anything but work as fast as he can to create an antidote. 

"Just hold on, chum, just one more street and we'll be in the car, then we can figure all of this out."

Curse Crane for being around long enough to know that Bruce's most important tricks and tricks are within his utility belt. He got a lucky swipe at his hips during the heat of their now finished battle and broke a lot of the wiring he has within the device. The button to summon the Batmobile was broken, and seeing as Alfred was currently out of the country and most of his kids off doing their own things, he couldn't have anyone manually drive the Batmobile towards them. 

He's just glad Damian went with Alfred to England. The lad needed a trip out, and Alfred was happy to suggest bringing him along. Because, while that might mean there's no one to help Bruce while Dick is dosed up on fear toxin like this, it also means Damian won't have to see his eldest brother like this. 

"Br's," Dick mumbles beside him as the place where Bruce parked the Batmobile comes into sight. 

"Yes, chum?" 

"I can't… I- think-"

Suddenly, Dick jerks away from Bruce's grasp, and thanks to the blood-loss in his leg, he isn't quite strong enough to stop Dick from slipping from his hands and collapsing onto the floor, whining and trying to get back to his feet with the strength of a newborn fawn. 

Bruce rushes forward. "Nightwing!" 

He tries to grab at Dick and lift him back up, but Dick yelps and flinches violently like he's been shocked. "No please!" 

And… shit. The fear toxin is finally taking full effect. Of course it's had to happen now, when they were so close to the Batmobile. Within a millisecond, Bruce tries to determine what kind of procedures he'll have to enact to get Dick into the car and back to the cave. Does Dick simply need space? Or does he need to be restrained?

He should plan on restraints. Always plan for every outcome, but prepare for the worst case scenario first. It's a lesson he's forced himself to learn over the years, one he's taught to every child who he's ever mentored and called his own. 

"Please no, please stop-" Dick continues to whimper, slowly stumbling to his feet and backing up like he's one blow of the wind from falling over. "I can't-"

And Bruce moves. As much as seeing Dick like this hurts him, he also knows the longer the toxin is in Dick's system, the more potential damage it could do. It will be better in the long run to ignore Dick's internal struggles and get him to the cave than it would be to not startle him. 

Dick tries to fight him, his breaths coming out in panicked bursts as Bruce grabs onto his upper body and pins him to his chest. Dick immediately begins to struggle, his back to Bruce's chest and his arms trapped between Bruce's restraining ones. He yells out, screams to be let go and left alone, but Bruce grinds his teeth and manhandles Dick towards the car, forcing himself to ignore the pulsing pain in his leg or how he'll definitely have to stitch it himself later.

He gets to the car thankfully without anyone coming out to see what the ruckus was about. People scream all the time in the Theater District despite Bruce's constant attempts to lower the rate of crime. Where in normal cities, people would probably at least look out their windows to see what commotion was about, in Crime Alley it was smarter to keep the blinds shut and the doors locked. 

Shoving Dick into the car takes tremendous effort. Dick's full on panicking now, trying to hit and kick at Bruce with everything he's got, and by the time Bruce has him locked into the back of the Batmobile where the chair with restraints reside, he's sporting a number of new bruises along his chest and jaw.

He shuts the foot and leans against the car for a moment, catching his breath as a wave of dizziness crashes into him. Dick's writhing within the restraints of the chair, screaming and kicking, clawing at any straps his fingers can barely grasp at. 

Bruce sucks in a breath of air, hardens the shell around him, then limps towards the driver's seat. 

By the time he skids to a stop within the cave, Dick's gone from screaming and struggling to crying and heartbreaking attempts to simply curl up. Multiple times during the ride, he's called for Bruce to save him. To swoop in and make the pain stop. Multiple times he apologizes for not being good enough. For always failing. 

Bruce wants nothing more than to tell him that he's here, and that he'll fix this, and that he considers the man Dick Grayson is today to be one of his greatest achievements. Never a disappointment. 

But his vision is woozy and he feels nauseous thanks to the blood-loss, and he knows Dick will be deaf to any reassurances until he has an antitoxin in his system. There is no point in wasting time. Not when he could be spending it curing Dick's fears and then making sure he doesn't bleed to death. 

Because he's pretty sure if he bleeds to death while Alfred is in England, the man will bring Bruce back to life just so he can kill him himself. 

He slams his fingers on the button that opens all the doors of the Batmobile and then stumbles out. He leaves Dick restrained to the chair for the moment while he practically trips over his own feet towards the lab where he grabs a roll of gauze and ties it around his leg. He then grabs the nearest clean syringe, turns, and prepares himself for what he's about to do. 

He takes off his cowl, in hopes a familiar face will make the process easier, but Dick still sobs and screams and begs as Bruce shoves the needle into his arm anyway. 

"I'm sorry, please, it hurts- it hurts-"

He forces himself to tune it out, rushing back towards the lab as quickly as his hastily bandaged wound would allow and begins to analyze Dick's blood. Dick doesn't stop whimpering for the entire process, and by the time Bruce has an antitoxin ready, he's practically numb.

Numb to Dick's constant sobbing and expressions of fear. Numb to his own body. 

Everything spins as he walks like a dead man towards his son one final time. As much as it initially pained him to do, he's glad now that he has Dick restrained like this. He's so weak that he knows he wouldn't be able to fight off Dick's writhing if he were free.

He presses the needle into Dick's neck, ignoring how his cries and shouts become louder, his struggling becoming more violent. However, there's nothing Dick can do to fend off Bruce like this, and soon the entirety of the antitoxin in running its course through his system.

Both Bruce and Dick collapse, Bruce because of the overtaking dizziness, Dick because the fear toxin is now in process of being nullified. 

Dick's still hallucinating, Bruce can tell, but they're not as violent as what they were just a few minutes ago. Bruce can't really look and see through, he can barely keep his eyes open. It's all he can do to lean against the car and rest his head near where Dick's thighs sit on the chair. He can feel Dick twitching every so often, but the twitches become smaller the more time goes by. 

Eventually, Dick's whimpers become nothing more than tired sighs, and Bruce finally lets his eyes close. 

-o-o-o-o-

Bruce wakes up what must be hours later. He knows this, because the chittering in the cave above him is louder, a sign that it's morning and the bats are slowly beginning to return home.

He's laying on his back on top of one of the metal lab tables, various beakers and tools pushed to the side to make room for his body. His entire leg is numb, but not in the way that meant blood-loss and infection, but one that suggested a numbing agent. He groans and gets his elbows under him, wincing at the strain in his spine from the hard surface of the table. There's a tug in his wrist that belongs to an IV hooked to a bag of blood, and when he looks down he can see his leg has been expertly wrapped. Various medical tools lay forgotten by his legs along with a bloodied needle and a spool of medical thread. 

Then, his eyes catch onto a very pale, but peacefully resting Dick Grayson. Bruce has no idea how he escaped the restraints of the Batmobile, dragged Bruce all the way here, and patched up his leg, but judging by how he's absolutely knocked out cold, curled up in a very uncomfortable metal chair, it took a lot of strain for him to pull off. 

Bruce is just glad that Dick managed to escape the restraints after the antitoxin was administered, and not before. 

Slowly, Bruce slides the IV out from his arm and climbs off the table, cautious of his bad leg. Dick doesn't move as Bruce approaches, which is probably for the best. Bruce carefully brushes his hand against Dick's cheek, and finally lets himself feel something when Dick hums sleepily and leans into his touch. 

Dick is twenty-seven years old. But Bruce knows that Dick could grow to be forty, or eighty, or older, and Bruce would always see him as that little eight year old who first somersaulted into his life, the same little boy stood in front of Bruce with a determined set to his jaw; demanding Bruce let him out at night to fight crime.

"Dick," Bruce whispers, moving his hand up a little to sneakily check his temperature as Dick's eyelashes flutter open. "Chum, Alfred will murder us if we sleep all night in the cave."

"But'm comfy," Dick mumbles through a yawn and Bruce finds a grin slowly spreading on his lips.

"No you're not. Come on, up."

Dick groans as Bruce wraps his hand around his bicep to coax him to his feet. Soon enough, Bruce has Dick leaning against his side, arms wrapped around each other to support both of their weights. Together, they walk towards the stairs, dreading the walk up but knowing they can do it as long as they have each other.

[joe-mazzello-archive]

Doofus

A Ben Hardy x Fem!Reader fic

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: lil bit of angst, but mostly just pining and fluff

A/N: Happy Valentines Day @fallingprincess​! This is my gift to you for @dtfrogertaylor​’s Somebody to Love event! I hope you enjoy it. Sorry it’s so ridiculously late, I recently got a new job and the training has taken up all of my time! This was my first time writing for Ben so I hope it’s okay :)

You couldn’t roll your eyes harder if you tried. The walls of the meeting hall were covered in tacky red and pink decor; you might have thought the organizers had bought every heart-shaped decoration in town. You were nursing a shitty beer as you watched the people around you mingle with borderline desperate enthusiasm. The whole event was a cringefest and you were unlucky enough to be a part of it.

Going was your best friend Grace’s idea. You had both found yourselves single for Valentine’s Day and when she saw the post about a singles event on Facebook, she wouldn’t shut up about it. You had politely declined, but she practically begged you to accompany her, insisting you needed to put yourself out there more. You had shrugged at her reasoning, arguing that you were in no rush to meet anyone right now. You were young and more focused on your blossoming career; you had plenty of time to meet someone and eventually settle down. But Grace had pushed and pushed, and you finally gave in (mostly to get her to leave you alone).

You glanced across the room where said best friend was chatting up some tall brunette who was waaaay too attractive to be at one of these things. You sighed, shaking your head as you leaned against the high top table and took another sip of beer. No one had come up to you in the last ten minutes and you couldn’t have been more relieved. You had hoped your annoyed expression would act as a deterrent long enough for either Grace to meet someone and leave with them, giving you an excuse to make an exit, or the event to end.

“You look almost as miserable as I am,” said a husky voice next to you. You turned to find a blonde with piercing green eyes mirroring your stance at the high top table next to yours. You gave him a quick once-over before smirking. Another guy at the event who was way too good-looking to be single.

“I can assure you, most people here are miserable,” you countered. “They’re just pretending not to be. I am, however, embracing it.” You gestured to yourself with your beer. The blonde chuckled before moving to stand next to you.

“I assume you’re not here by choice,” the blonde commented. “Let me guess. Friend dragged you here?” You smiled and turned to look at him, almost thrown by just how gorgeous his face was.

“You too, huh?” you asked. The blonde returned your smile before nodding towards the other side of the room.

“The tall, gangly, brunette lad over there trying to shoot his shot with that girl who’s out of his league,” he replied. You threw your head back in laughter, causing the man’s eyebrows to shoot up in surprise.

“Small world, blondie,” you joked. “Your ‘gangly’ mate happens to be attempting to flirt with my best friend, Grace.” The man took a sip of his beer and leaned on the high top, copying your stance once again.

“Gwilym and Grace. It’s got a ring to it. Maybe they’ll fall in love, get engaged, and we’ll drink shitty beer together as best man and maid of honor,” he suggested with a wink. You snickered and rolled your eyes.

“Here’s hoping. Then we’d never have to get dragged to one of these dumb things again.”

“I’ll cheers to that.”

You clinked your bottles and each took a sip before sharing another laugh.

“I’m Ben, by the way,” he said, sticking out his hand. You told him your name and returned the handshake before turning your attention back to the couples sprinkled around the room.

The two of you spent the rest of the evening people-watching and exchanging commentary about the people around you.

“Dude, check out that guy’s pit stains!” you pointed out, nudging Ben with your elbow.

“He hasn’t stopped talking for a second to let that poor girl speak,” Ben replied. “You can see the light in her eyes slowly dying.”

The banter went on for another hour, until eventually the room started to clear out as the event ended.

Gwilym and Grace didn’t fall in love and get married. In fact, Grace didn’t even leave the event with anyone’s number, declaring the entire venture to be a letdown.

You, however, left the event finding yourself a new friend.

You and Ben clicked instantly, and you quickly found yourself hanging out with him on a regular basis. The two of you would watch trashy tv shows and add your own commentary, making each other laugh until the late hours of the night. Weekly lunch meetups became the standard every Friday, the two of you determined to explore the entire culinary scene of the city.

Ben became your best friend quickly. Well, another best friend. You adored Grace, but hanging with Ben was less…exhausting. It was like the two of you had known each other for years. You felt comfortable telling him things you didn’t even trust Grace with. You had even given him a copy of your apartment key, claiming you were too lazy to get up and let him in yourself every time he came over.

It seemed like Ben had embraced your instant connection just as much. You were the person he called when he needed a plus one to a family wedding. You were the person he trusted to watch Frankie when he was away for work. You were the person he called if he was having a rough night, and you were always there in an instant.

You didn't know when it happened. There wasn’t an “aha” moment. It just crept up on you slowly. Your normal excitement for hangout sessions with Ben turned into anxiety and giddiness. You started to care more and more about how your hair looked or what you were wearing when you were going to see him. What used to be friendly, platonic hugs and touches started to cause your stomach to flutter and warmth to travel to your cheeks. You started to count down the hours between each time you were to see him.

Plain and simple: you had developed feelings for your best friend.

You convinced yourself it wasn’t a problem. You were pretty good at compartmentalizing. Was it healthy? Probably not. But you figured you’d either get over it or meet someone else and lose interest in Ben. The only thing you cared about was preserving the friendship. The thought of Ben suddenly not being in your life anymore was painful to think about. So you went about your business, silently pining from afar, and everything was fine.

Time passed quickly as your friendship blossomed, and suddenly it was the beginning of February again. You couldn’t believe it had almost been a year since you and Ben had met. It seemed like just yesterday, while at the same time it didn’t feel like you had only known him a year.

It was a Monday morning. You were at work looking at your calendar when you realized your weekly lunch meetup was set to fall on Valentine’s Day, giving you the perfect opportunity to spend your “Friendaversary” together. You pulled out your phone to text Ben.

You: we still on for lunch as usual on fri?

Ben: of course! i think it’s your turn to pick a place :P

You: let’s go to that italian place that we keep walking past and saying we’re gonna try it and never do

Ben: perfect, i could go for some pasta

You: you always want pasta

Ben: let me LIVE, doofus

You chuckled and shook your head lovingly at the nickname Ben always called you. You felt your stomach flutter again at the interaction before you started to put your phone away, but it buzzed again.

Ben: OH i forgot to tell you! i met someone!

You felt your heart skip a beat.

You: someone?

Ben: a girl! i asked her out tonight and she didn’t run away in terror! her name is chloe

Chloe. Suddenly you hated the name. Your stomach churned unpleasantly at the thought of Ben seeing someone. All this time, you assumed you would meet someone or simply move on from your feelings for him. You never even entertained the notion that he would be the one to meet someone first.

But you had to play the part of the supportive best friend. Ben would know something was up if you didn’t.

You: nice! you’ll have to fill me in on how it goes

Ben: obviously. wish me luck!

You locked your phone and shoved it into your desk drawer with a huff.

You spent the rest of the day moping around the office, barely getting anything done. You couldn’t stop thinking about Ben and his dumb date that night. Your mind raced with questions that you almost didn’t want to know the answers to. How did they meet? When did they meet? Was she pretty? Did she make him laugh? The morbidly curious side of your brain wanted to know every detail, but the logical side of your brain knew that the less you knew, the better.

That night you found yourself bitterly chomping on chips and spinach dip as you watched some random cooking show. You were trying desperately to distract yourself from Ben, but nothing was working. You hated how jealous you were feeling. Why did you have to get this stupid crush in the first place? Ben was an amazing friend, and here you were feeling sorry for yourself instead of happy that your friend had met someone.

Your phone buzzed on the coffee table. You groaned when you saw the notification: a text from Ben. You didn’t open it, but the preview was all you needed to see.

*New Text Message* Ben: tonight was amazing! i think we really hit it off…

Of course they did. Who wouldn’t hit it off with Ben? He was charming, attractive, and funny. If you were being honest, it was surprising that in the almost-year you knew him, he hadn’t been on any dates until now.

You let out another groan and grabbed your phone, heading to your room to call it an early night. You hoped a good night’s sleep would cure your crabbiness.

The next few days went by in a blur. You focused all of your energy into work. The number of unread texts from Ben grew and grew, but you couldn’t bring yourself to open them. By the time Friday morning came around, you had sixteen unread messages from the man. It suddenly occurred to you that there was a possibility that Ben had cancelled your lunch meetup in one of those texts. You finally bit the bullet and pulled your phone out to open the texts.

Ben: tonight was amazing! i think we really hit it off. i might ask her out again this weekend. or is that too soon?

Ben: what even is a good second date activity? is cooking dinner for her too much?

Ben: i assume you fell asleep early. call me sometime tomorrow so i can fill you in!

Ben: hey doofus! text me back! i know you’re bored at work!

Ben: ready to die of cuteness?

Ben: [picture of Frankie on her back with a toy in her mouth]

Ben: you okay dude?

Ben: seriously i’m starting to get worried

Ben: did i do something? or not do something?

Ben: i don’t know what’s going on, but i’m going out with chloe again tonight if you want to hang out after

Ben: please talk to me, i want to fix whatever i did

Ben: i honestly have no idea what’s going on, you gotta help me out here

Ben: i’m really worried about you, doofus. i texted grace and she said you’ve been kind of down lately. did something happen?

Ben: you usually always talk to me about this kind of stuff

Ben: you haven’t even opened any of these

Ben: just let me know if you’re okay

Your heart broke at the desperation in his messages. Here you were pushing him away for such selfish reasons. To Ben, you were disappearing out of the blue. He was genuinely concerned for you, and all you were doing was being a jealous asshole. So you decided to finally respond.

You: sorry bud, i’ve just been having a bad week. i’m sorry for making you worried. i’ll explain it all at lunch later.

You shook your head and sighed as you hit send. You owed Ben an explanation. And while you cringed at the thought of telling him how you felt about him, you couldn’t keep acting this way. At the end of the day, Ben was your best friend, and you should be happy for him if he found someone who made him happy. Your phone buzzed almost immediately.

Ben: shit. i didn’t realize what day it was. i have tickets to a matinee movie with chloe in a few hours. raincheck? also good to know you’re still breathing doofus, i missed ya :)

You could literally feel your heart sink. He was cancelling your weekly lunch meetup for her. The two of you had never missed a weekly lunch meetup. And of all weeks to miss. It was your Friendaversary for fuck’s sake. He probably didn’t even remember. He was probably taking Chloe out for Valentine’s. How could you be so stupid? Your days-long mini temper tantrum had driven him right into Chloe’s arms.

You didn’t respond. You left him on read and shoved your phone into your desk drawer. You watched as your coworkers received Valentine’s Day flowers and chocolates and other gifts while you sat there moping.

When the time came for your lunch break, you had zero appetite.

Later that night, you were grumpily watching one of your favorite movies and drowning your sorrows in a bottle of wine when you heard the jingle of keys outside your door. You furrowed your eyebrows as your front door opened; Grace was out of town for the weekend so you weren’t expecting her back until Monday.

Your confusion was sated as soon as you heard a familiar husky voice call your name. Ben.

You sighed and slumped even further into the couch. Right, he had a key.

“In here,” you called. Ben appeared in your living room, a look of concern on his face.

“What’s going on? Why aren’t we friends anymore?” he asked suddenly, a twinge of anger in his voice. You sat up, taking a deep breath to calm your pounding heart. He crossed his arms, waiting for your answer.

“We are friends,” you replied, your voice small. You weren’t ready for this conversation, nor were you prepared for him to be angry with you.

“You sure about that? Because you’ve stopped talking to me almost entirely,” Ben snapped back. “Was it something I did?” There was desperation in his voice. The same desperation you felt through his texts.

“It’s complicated,” you answered. To say you were unprepared was an understatement. You hadn’t once thought about exactly how you were going to tell Ben how you felt about him.

Ben moved to sit next to you on the couch. Your heart was practically beating right out of your chest. Between the fact that you were about to confess the only thing you’d ever kept secret from him and how fucking close he was sitting to you, you were surprised you didn’t pass out.

“We tell each other everything,” Ben stated. “What changed? Just tell me so I can fix it.”

“You can’t fix it!” you suddenly burst out. Ben shifted back, clearly surprised by your sudden change in tone. He didn’t say anything, he simply waited patiently for you to continue, that look of worry still painted on his face. You took a deep breath before speaking again. “I’m sorry. I haven’t been handling all of this very well. I just…” You drifted off, unsure of how to phrase it. Your eyes met Ben’s bright green ones and you felt your resolve slipping.

“I have feelings for you,” you explained, looking down at your lap so you could avoid Ben’s stare. “Beyond friendship. I’ve felt like this for awhile, and I figured it would either go away, or I’d meet someone and move on. I never thought about what would happen if you met someone.” You let out a small sigh of relief. Now that the words were out there, you felt slightly better. When Ben didn’t say anything, you continued. “I’m sorry for disappearing on you. I was jealous and handled it like a child. But you’re my best friend and I want you to be happy. If Chloe makes you happy, then I’m all for it.” 

Ben still didn’t say anything. You finally looked up at him and were met with those familiar emerald eyes. His face was unreadable and your heart sunk for what felt like the tenth time that day. Panic set in, and you could feel yourself getting worked up.

“Please say something,” you whispered, trying desperately to keep yourself from crying.

Ben shook his head, a look of disbelief on his face. He gently placed a hand on your cheek. You froze at the touch, biting your lip as you waited for his next move.

“You are such a doofus,” Ben stated before crashing his lips onto yours. 

You were still frozen in slight shock, but after a few seconds you relaxed into the kiss, massaging your lips against his. It was better than you had ever imagined. You reached up to weave your fingers into his blonde locks as you deepened the kiss. The two of you moved like that for what felt like hours but was probably only seconds. You pulled away gently to catch your breath, but Ben kept his forehead pressed against yours. You couldn’t help but laugh, and Ben joined you as the two of you sat there holding each other on your couch.

“I have been practically obsessed with you since we met,” Ben finally said, pulling away to look at you.

“And I’m the doofus?” you joked, earning another laugh from Ben. “How come you didn’t say anything?”

“Never in a million years did I think you’d ever see me that way,” he replied, caressing your cheek with his thumb.

“Guess we were both doofuses,” you countered, earning another laugh from Ben.

“Guess so,” he agreed before leaning in to press his lips to yours once again. After a few moments, he pulled away suddenly. “Oh! Happy Friendaversary!”

“You remembered?” you commented, nudging him with your shoulder.

“Of course I did,” Ben answered, as if he was offended you’d ever suggest the opposite. “How could I forget the anniversary of meeting my favorite person in the world?” You felt heat in your cheeks again as you beamed back at him. A thought occurred to you, giving you pause.

“What about Chloe?” you asked, almost afraid of the answer.

“I ended up canceling our movie date because I was stressing about you,” Ben confessed. “I like Chloe, but I didn’t see it going anywhere anyway. I was too caught up on you.” Your smile returned and he mirrored it. “Come here, you.” He pulled you closer to him, moving your legs to drape across his lap. 

You instinctively reached for his hand, interlacing your fingers with his. The two of you had always been touchy with your affection, but never this much. But now it just felt right.

“Sorry for being such a doofus about everything,” you said before bringing Ben’s hand up to place a gentle kiss on his knuckles. Ben’s face lit up, giving you a bright smile.

“That’s okay. You’re my doofus.”

-

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