#I’m never gonna be lazy again
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*crying in having accomplished task*
#I’m never gonna be lazy again#this came to bite me in my ASS#ugh i didiiiiiiT#BUT ITS DONE NOW#I’mma go sleep a bit#asdhfjgfdsa
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ik there’s a lot of speculation around kenji and brooklynn having possibly broken up before her “death” (still not believing it) but doesn’t darius’s phone call with brand in the first episode kind of point away from that. didn’t he say kenji doesn’t want to hear anything i have to say or something like that? or am i tweaking
#i swear it sounded like kenji was angry at him#probably blames him for brooklynn#which would be like added layers to unravel considering everyone else is probably gonna be trying to talk him down#like ben#and then kenji would be adding fuel to the fire#UNLESS IM TWEAKJNG SND DARIUS NEVER SAID THAF#pls lemme know i’m too lazy to go on roblox and watch it again#jwcc brooklynn#jurassic world chaos theory#jurrasic world camp cretaceous#kenji bowman#kenji kon#darius bowman
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:c
#i luv my friends ;-; i feel like i’m gonna lose my mind when i’m not living right by all my friends lmao 😭#i’ve literally been hanging out w ppl like at least every other day if not every day#we made semi spontaneous plan to go to pride tmrwwweww 🥹🥹 i’m excited#i just am so happy that i get to spend sm time w ppl rn bc we’re all somewhat free bc summer 😭#also idk i was just thinking abt this recently but like#it’s kinda new to me to like actually be comfortable/confident in knowing my friends want/like my presence ;-;#even then i’m not that confident LMAO bc after sm time together i’m like surely they’ll get sick of me#like we’ve seen each other every day the past like three days#but no 🥹 ugh like idk man i had one elementary to sort of middle and high school friendship#that like fucked me up i feel like lmfao 💀#like girl sidelined me so much for other friends that i just#:l and cried so much bc of that 😀 anyway 😀#so like idk i’m just so grateful rn 😭😭😭#also was thinking abt it recently bc my mom made me feel judged/ made me feel like she was annoyed that i was staying here on campus#when i technically don’t need to and my main/only reason is bc friends#and after that conversation w her i got kinda annoyed bc i was like#i have had so many conversations w you where i was sad af or frustrated that my friends wouldn’t reach out to me ever#or my friend who never paid attention to me when other friends were around#like i don’t think she’s actually judging like me staying for friends but it was that one conversation we were both kinda annoyed idk#and i was just like . pls#anyway 😀 i always have so many friend thoughts i always be overthinking it LOL#anyway anyway i need to be up in like 6 hrs LOLLLLLL pride tho yay 🥰🥰🥰#rip me not having clean cute clothes for this LOL 🤪#ong last yr i tied my hair in a ponytail w like rainbow hair ties tied down the ponytail……#idk if i have those but if i do maybe i should do that again LOL#idk might be too lazy tho we’ll see how much time i have to get ready when i wake up 🤡#jeanne talks#TOO MUCH BYE
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That AWESOME BPD feeling when your ex who hurt you throughout the relationship over and over again and made you feel like an intrinsic part of yourself was wrong has no problems post-breakup and feels fine and is laughing with their friends and having a great time and not feeling bad at all and also she’s your roommate so you have to listen to it :) what if I killed myself
#wolvenwhispers#vent#ik this thinking is unhealthy but god#why am I so unlovable#everyone fucking leaves me behind and uses me and cuts me off#at least this time the person stayed by me as my roommate and didn’t just fuck off#but like sometimes that’s worse#cause I’m forced to watch her completely move on like nothing happened and I’m just HHGGWWGGWGWGWGW FUCK!!!! FUCK!!!#I already had multiple conversations with her communicating how she hurt me in the relationship#and how that hurt lead to a lot of my struggle behaviors near the end of our relationship and afterwards#so I don’t wanna be a dick and keep bringing shit up but god it’s so fucking painful#I’m never gonna find someone who sees me for me and actually likes the person they find#I’m fat and ugly and mentally ill and all my interests are fucking stupid and I’m useless and lazy#I deserve to rot in my bed and never get up again
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Patrick Wilson’s filming a movie rn, working on directing some more movies, working on original stories, trying to do a game adaptation, and going to film conjuring 4
gonna eat well 🫡
#even though he’s never gonna play my fave guy again at least he’s thriving#I’m too lazy to find the interview where he said all that but I’m happy for him
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🩸Carmilla🩸
(from Island’s Shiv/Frye fic Girlfriend; please give it a read!)
#splatoon#I’m sorry she probably looks nothing like she’s supposed to#gave her the annaki polpo-pic tank which also looks nothing like how it does in game#I was going to draw more but it seems I now can’t so I’m posting this by itself#[tails voice] my power is failing!#anyway.#also sorry if this is weird I’ve never drawn someone else’s oc before#I guess all characters are technically ocs but you know what I mean#the annaki tank has a very skater feel to it. not sure why exactly.#gonna stop chattering in my tags and just post now good bye#my art#oh wait also#was gonna give her the tentaclinger earring but I was too lazy to look up a ref so#mysterious smudge it is#sorry again im too embarrassed to @ you
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So far my interaction with starfield is “meh character creation is naff” “why everything looks blurry” then it tried to teach me to fly a spaceship and fight something and I turned it off
#starfield#Ughh I do not want to manually drive a space ship and fight#that’s just… no#ain’t impressed so far#I think I’m just too into baldurs gate#I don’t know if I can be arsed with starfield#just gonna leave it for a while#no I don’t want to manually fly a ship I ain’t a pilot#I just want to press a destination and go there#also it’s another make a character and never see that character again game#so yeyyyy#that means lazy animations#no physical interaction or scenes with others just th#stood talking to you or sat down talking to you#sorry comparing to baldurs gate 3 intro and that intro#I can’t help but compare
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when are welt and gepard coming home … T_T
#bronya makes me so lazy too … wdym i’m never gonna walk with a melee weapon again when i can just shoot these containers#yesterday i got a 5* but it turns out to be a himeko light cone …. i thought i got himeko or something ;-; criminal#+ rambles !
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Got my mother and my little brother staying with me soon. On the one hand, brilliant, I haven’t been in the same room with both of them at once in years. On the other, holy fuck how. In my place? It’s tiny! Someone is sleeping on the floor for a week and the other two are sharing a bed. I’ve never wanted to sleep on the floor more in my adult life.
#holy fuck could they not have scheduled this a little better?#also cannot wait to get shamed#for what? anything. it’s fair game.#a week’s worth of ‘you’re just being lazy’ and etc.#a week worth of name calling and transphobic slurs hurled at me#mainly from my mother who is staying much longer than a week#a week of never feeling safe because if I forgot to hide just ONE piece of paper or just ONE ticket to an event or ANYTHING#I could get re-outed as trans to them and my mother might actually kill me#I’m so scared lol#and my brother and I only JUST began talking again this year#before that the last time I saw him in person he was whaling on me#nearly broke my collarbone and hit my head against the tiles so badly it briefly knocked me out#I am happy that we’re back on speaking terms#but I admit I’m a little scared shitless#these two are (mostly in my mothers case) bearable ON THEIR OWN#I don’t think I can take them both at once#starting to feel like the city from a Godzilla vs Mothra film#YIKES.#doesn’t help that with my heart condition I can’t clean for as long or as well as I used to#they’re gonna rip me apart for that. ‘I LITERALLY have a debilitating heart condition I can’t stand without fainting’#’you’re just being lazy. sheer laziness. just drink some salt you’ll be fine it’s not a big deal’#I FAINTED TODAY JUST VACUUMING ONE ROOM!#anyways
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url change !
it’s the end of an era besties (talking to the void) i finally did it
rest in peace to-kill-a-moshing-bird 2013(ish)-2023 🫡🫡🫡
sorry ocd hoarder tendencies i want a url that i actually like instead of a dumb pun i made at approx. age 12 abt a book i wasn’t even that into :p forever in my heart tho she treated me very well over the years <3
#i wanna be active ish on tumblr again but i rlly didn’t like my url and i’ve been too lazy and stubborn to change it until now#so here we are ! a fresh new era !#i am of course saving my old url on a burner account even tho i know i'll never use it again bc my brain is hellish like that <3#idk if anyone from back in the day is still here but#i just like cataloguing my silly little interests and i don't wanna be embarrassed by my decade old url anymore !#h tumblr era 2.0#actually kinda 3.0 but whatever#i’m gonna update my ao3 too so i can post fics again (motivation withstanding) but i’m tired and that feels higher stakes#so i’m not gonna deal rn#but soon#ok anyway new url yay goodnight !#(his ass is NOT going to sleep)
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sometimes it’s hard to remove myself from school and remember that i’ve always loved to learn
#crazy how that works huh? i’m naturally a very curious person#i always want to know how everything works. what it’s made of#it’s why i like my anatomy class so much#but i mean ever since i was a kid i’ve been a learner#i would watch ted-ed videos for hours on end. i knew ted for ted-ed years before i knew about ted talks#i even used to watch crash course’s ap psychology series as a kid#it was fun revisiting that sophomore year. made covid a little easier#but school isn’t an environment that fostered that curiosity in me#not since 5th grade anyways#it became less about ‘look at how wonderful the world is’ and more about ‘you’re gonna be in the real world someday’#it was ‘set an example for the other kids.’ it was ‘don’t get lazy now and mess up your gpa for high school.’#it was all just scores and numbers. everything beautiful and unique about learning had been stripped away#and replaced with cold stale machinery. i stopped learning and started answering#i’m lucky that i’ve always been a good tester. i can rely on it when i need to#except for a long long time i forgot how to learn#how to explore the world as a curious ape#but i’m learning now that that curiosity never left. that yearning for new knowledge is still present#it’s damaged yes but i can recover it. i want to learn to be curious again#i want to like learning again. i won’t let a stupid report card strip my life of joy again#hm. ig since i’m about to graduate i’m feeling introspective#i’m excited for college. everyone’s always told me i’m gonna love it and i’m inclined to believe them#can’t wait to learn just for the sake of it. i’m gonna take as many humanities courses as i can fit#i don’t remember which artist said it. maybe picasso?#but i think it’s true that we’re all just seeking the freedom of our childhood selves. perhaps our purest forms#children are artists and scientists and inventors. i think everyone’s looking to rediscover that#part of why i use love to make all of my art. i create simply to partake in the joy of it#and isn’t that lovely :)
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chemistry class sketches lmao. I hate chem… ANYWAYS- I love Neon so much and he deserved to be actually drawn out.
#Tmnt#scar headcanons#Look at him#idk why i did this#I will only explain if asked#Cause I’m lazy#Lmao#dude got fucked up#He’s intimidating for a reason#I’m gonna forget this exists and just never draw his scars again#rottmnt#rottmnt au#tmnt au#i love them#Future Leo
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After two days of attempting to find a good Dracula casting from the small pool of actors I can remember, I finally have a finished Fancast for the novel. I’m more satisfied with some than others, but it’s the best I can come up with. Shoutout to my mom and friends for their contributions to the list too!
Paul Rudd as our good friend Jonathan Harker
Jenna Coleman as Mina Harker (née Murray)
Lily James as Lucy Westenra
Stellan Skarsgård as Professor/Doctor/etc. Abraham van Helsing
Cory Michael Smith as Doctor John “Jack” Seward
Liam Hemsworth as Arthur Holmwood (Lord Godalming)
Diego Luna as Quincey P. Morris
Michael Rooker as R. M. Renfield
Willem Dafoe as Count Dracula
Michelle Williams, Katie McGrath, and Michelle Gomez as the Weird Sisters
And last but certainly not least, Peter Capaldi as Mr. Swales
#Lex lurks#Dracula#fancast#remind me never to do this again#Some of these aren’t 100% accurate I was partly going by vibes#(Eg. My Arthur is blond; Van Helsing is ginger; Renfield has longer hair; Dracula has a mustache etc.)#But overall I’m happy with this#Technically my favorite castings for VH and Drac were ones I couldn’t use bc the actors are dead (rest in peace)#I know I said I was gonna post this yesterday but I was too lazy to type everything out here after already doing it on Discord
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i officially have no life for three months starting tomorrow :)))
#and i only get to leave the house MAYBE twice a week#i’m going to have a fucking breakdown three days in. i just know it#she’s going to ABSOLUTELY milk this even after she returns to work#shit will never be the same again and she’ll force me to be her full time caregiver#even tho the surgery will fix most of her disabling problems (for now at least)#but she’ll keep abusing it and use her recovery as an excuse to be lazy#after the first month she’ll be more than capable of doing some stuff on her own#but she won’t bc why would she when she has her ‘caregiver’ to wait on her hand and foot :)))))#i’m calling it now: I’ll have a major breakdown the next day when she gets home#not even a day in#i’m so fucking depressed rn yall#how the FUCK am i gonna stay sane
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Redownloading the sims on my laptop (we shall see if this was a good idea or not soon) and it said it’d take about 40 minutes so I left it but bc my laptop “falls asleep” on its own when I came back the download had paused. So now I have to sit by my laptop and move my mouse whenever the screen darkens a bit. At least it’s only about 20 minutes now
#I’m gonna make so many fictional characters in this game yall#probably even ocs#and then never play their lives again after like 5 hours#and that’s the tea#I feel I need to explain that tag ever once in a while: my personal post tag that an internet friend suggested years ago#and I’m not changing it cause. well I’m lazy and I want all the posts to stay connected#so it’s either go through whole tag and change it#or keep it. and I’m keeping it
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WHAT KIND OF LOVE ARE YOU?
Love as a Threshold.
Your love does not ask for much. Your love does not take. Your love is free, and unquestioned, and here for wherever needs it. When you fall in love, it is as gentle as a breath in the night. It is quiet, and it is effortless. It is tender. If your love was a house, it would readily welcome all who come through. If your love was a hearth, it would warm the hands of whoever stopped by, whether for a day, a month, a year, or forever. When you fall for someone, it is without strings, without conditions, without need. You love for the sake of loving, for the sake of caring for those who need it. You love with a giver’s heart and a giver’s hands and are made so much stronger for it. Being loved by you is to always feel at home. Your love may not always be well-received by those unprepared to linger, but it is unforgettable all the same.
#muse: pat.#dash games.#hc: shifting of the sands.#(( maybe I will cry about it!!! ugh this is so accurate ))#(( the irony of the last line when the crux of his story is running away… but not running from love! never that. ))#(( the unforgettable bit had me tearing up I’m NOT GONNA LIE YALL!!!! thinking about him dying alone and haunting the woods alone ))#(( never being found. watching his friends drive off in the van without him. his sister realizing somethings wrong but so many others - ))#(( INCLUDING his parents saying he probably just ran away again or got too lazy to write and just generally. not caring ))#(( pat being a largely forgotten missing person amongst thousands of others. BUT NOT BY THISE WHO RLLY KNEW AND LOVED HIM ))#(( not by those who HE realy loved… bc it IS unforgettable. to be loved just for the sake of it without expectation unconditionally ))#(( pats just full of love and so so warm and just. will pour all of that affection into a person without thought. ))#(( talks to strangers like he’s known them his whole life. loves you just because he can with every fiber of his being ))#(( anyway I’m going through it with my emotions and this is Pat to a T!!!! couldn’t have said it better ))#(( also shhh I stole this so I am. not gonna tag anyone lmao ))
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