#I’m just so sad because idk she had like 4 days to do that

[ladyknight1512]

Thank you for tagging me @welcometololaland and for kicking this off @thisbuildinghasfeelings . This was such a cute idea.

This is kinda weird for me because I only started watching the show last, idk? May? And a lot of it has been a blur so I’m just going to pick 5 random Lone Star-related memories.

1. The Before Times

By which I mean, the weeks before I even started watching the show. I know. It's weird. Just come with me on this journey.

I started watching 911 OG because I saw Oliver Stark online telling people who were angry about bisexual Buck to GTFO, and that sounded like a show I wanted to support. So I binged it and fell in love, to the point where I caught up and then I didn't want to watch Lone Star because I wasn't ready to let the OG characters go and because I thought there was no way I would love Lone Star that much. One of my IRL friends told me I had to watch it because Lone Star was better and I would love it even more. Finally I gave in and it turns out he was right.

This is one of my favourite memories because I think back to that past Marie who didn't know what she was about to get into and how much she was going to fall in love with these characters. There's a weird nostalgic anticipation that I remember so fondly.

2. The Art of Persuasion

When I love something, I want all my IRL friends to love it too and I really went in hard with Lone Star. I pestered my IRL friend B for weeks the first time I watched Lone Star. I told her all about it and about Tarlos and how much I loved it and how much she would love it too, if she would just give it a go. Finally, in a last ditch attempt, I sent her the clip of the Tarlos hook-up scene from 1x02 and she was convinced. Her reaction to that scene was hilarious and will hopefully stay with me for a very long time. Also I was right: she does love it.

3. Write the Fic You Want to See in the World

This year will be 20 years since I started writing fic (omg, I'm so old), although that hasn't been consistent. The last time I wrote anything substantial was in 2021, and the last time I was prolific in a random was during 2020 and 2021, for Rusty Quill Gaming. Tarlos changed all that. Those guys brought me back to writing in a big way and I've written something Tarlos-related basically every single day since the middle of last June. I published the first two fics in what became the ‘Fathers and Sons’ trilogy, and I'm currently writing the third; I wrote and published 26 one-shots for the ‘In Every Life’ ABC collection; and I've published three other short fics. There are others I've started and not finished, as well as a list of others I want to write once I've finished The Jonah Fic. I love writing for Tarlos probably more than any other fandom or couple I've ever written for.

4. Community Spirit

Which I guess is a great segue into the fandom! Joining this fandom was intimidating, because it felt so established and it's been around for so long. Coming in felt like walking into a party where it was clear everyone already knew each other and I was the odd person out. I'm one of those people who always kinda feels like no one actually wants me around, so carving out a little space for myself was rough, but everyone is really so nice. I still don't talk to many people because, again, I feel like no one would actually want to hear from me but I've made a real effort to comment on fics that I read, and I've had brief conversations with a couple of people. But the interest I've received from people for my own fics, particularly the ABC AUs, has blown me away and I just love getting to be part of this community.

5. In Real Time

Season 5 is the first season I've watched as it's airing and it's so fun while also being heartbreaking. Because I love that I get to experience this first-hand with all of you, but I'm also so sad that this is the only chance I'll get to do it. I wish I'd found this show sooner so I could have been a part of the weekly excitement for longer, but I'm glad to have gotten even just these 12 episodes. I can't believe how fast it's gone and I get all teary even just thinking about the last episode airing next week.

Honourable mention: Basketball

I read 'your first string' by @strandnreyes with no knowledge or interest in basketball whatsoever. Out of curiosity, I decided to watch a game or two, just to try to understand it a bit more. And it worked! But also, it turned me into a basketball fan, much to the amusement of my long-suffering friends and family, none of whom care about basketball but listen to me talk about it now at length.

In short: I've loved being part of this Lone Star community, even if I really only tapped in at the end. I'm glad I got to at least have these 8 months with you.

[hyperfixated-fan]

Here is some of those wonderfully nostalgic girly-girl shows in vague order in which I watched/discovered them that no one asked for but I’m giving to you anyways.

1. First up, we’ve got the Horseland

Back in the day, I was a major horse girl (a part of me still is), but this show was so awesome and adorable. It’s just a bunch of gals riding their horses and hanging out at the barn. And their horses and other animals talk amongst themselves. It is all an animal lover like me could want. It’s just so cute and gives sweet life lessons. And occasionally, I found it interesting that they do touch upon some serious topics such as eating disorders and loss. The episode “Mosey” always makes me cry. All the episodes are on YouTube.

Overall, I have to say my favorite character is Alma Rodriguez.

2. LEGO Friends

The first generation of LEGO Friends is nostalgic, but I also seriously love the LEGO Friends: Girls on a Mission. It’s just a bunch of teenage girls getting up to shenanigans and being besties (Oddly, though they are high school age, we barely see them in school XD). I particularly enjoy Girls on a Mission (the episodes are on YouTube) because the episodes were so well put together and it fleshes out each girl a bit more uniquely. It’s a genuinely fun show though I generally am partial to LEGO shows. I am personally not a fan of latest generation of LEGO Friends. I’ve watched a few episodes and it’s just blegh. It might be the nostalgia talking but I just can’t get into it.

My fave character has always been Emma (she’s so adorable) and my fave ship is Emma x Ethan in the Girls on a Mission iteration.

3. Barbie Movies

Not sure if all the movies are pictured above, but there’s a good portion of them. I admit, I haven’t seen all of the Barbie movies (especially the good old classics mainly due to animation that did not age well so sorry) and did not really become a fan until later than most little girls. However, I still find the movies to be very enjoyable and cute. I think a lot of my affinity comes from many familiar Canadian voice actors being in most of the movies and I find it fun trying to pick out familiar voices.

A few of my personal favorite movies are “Princess Charm School” (it’s the first Barbie movie I ever watched with one of my best friends), “The Twelve Dancing Princesses” (so many voices and characters to listen to and try and remember), and “Mariposa” (I am rather partial to the voice of Chiara Zanni and loved her playing Barbie).

4. Ever After High

It is so sad that Ever After High ended after Epic Winter. I really wish we got to see more. I loved the imaginative twist on fairytale characters and the whole “facing your destiny” storyline. The princesses, knights, dragons, and wonderland were all great components as a lover of fantasy. Disney Descendants ain’t got nothing on Ever After. It was a very creative show and it was interesting to see all the characters that would pop up.

A few of my favorite characters are Rosabella Beauty, Ginger Breadhouse, and Lizzie Hearts. Call me basic but I really do like the ship Darabella (obviously the execution of it could’ve been better but I still like it.)

5. Miraculous Ladybug

Simply put, this show is a mess. Miraculous Ladybug barely made the list only because I have fond memories of it. I’m not caught up on any recent events and admittedly quit watching it after season 3 or 4 (I don’t exactly remember). The show had potential and many amazing fanworks, but after a while, the episodes just get repetitive. I still like the earlier seasons before things got too messy. As a lover of side characters, I also wish they fleshed out the side characters a bit more instead of keeping on creating more and more side characters. I still occasionally pop in to see what is going on and apparently Nathalie is dead?! Idk what’s going on and I love looking at spoilers with no context because it makes the show all the more funny.

My fave character list includes Alya Césaire, Nathalie Sancoeur, and Juleka Couffaine and I’m partial to the ship DJWifi.

6. Monster High

Since I was a fan of Ever After High, it was only inevitable that I would eventually become a fan of Monster High. It took a while but I eventually did fall in love with the show. And I fell hard. All the characters are so unique and while I absolutely love all the generation 1 content, I do not completely hate the g3 series. I loved the message of standing out yet belonging at Monster High, freaky flaws and all. The animation is very dated yet endearingly nostalgic at the same time. I love all the different twists on various monster creatures.

My favorite characters list gets pretty extensive, as I love g1 and g3 Abbey Bominable (I always love an ice queen), along with g1/g3 Cleo De Nile (bc she’s your typical mean girl/diva but truly cares for her friends), Robecca Steam (her steampunk aesthetic and little accent are adorable), Deuce Gorgon (a kind yet popular jockish character is rare), Jinafire Long (Chinese dragon is always a win), and Rochelle Goyle (she’s just neat).

Fave ships = Cleuce (CleoxDeuce) and AbbeyxHeath. I just love them okay!

7. Lolirock

I believe I discovered this show coming off of Storm Hawks and Steven Universe so the crystal motif and everything was already an intriguing concept for me (plus familiar Canadian voice actors drew me in). I just love the trio of girls trying to “secretly” protect earth with sparkles and spells while putting up the front of being a girl band (the songs are very catchy by the way if you can get past an ungodly amount of auto tune). The episodes gave me vibes similar to Miraculous Ladybug but somewhat better with less convoluted characters. Overall, it’s a very bright energetic show and I wish they would’ve delved into the backstories of the other princesses a bit more instead of focusing on Iris all the time. Here’s to hoping they eventually do come out with season 3. All the current episodes are on YouTube.

My favorite characters are the sisters Izira and Talia. They have so much power and the show needs to actually do them justice.

8. Mysticons

This one is definitely lesser known than most on this list. I found it shortly after LoliRock since it has similar features and characters. It’s a very simple show with simple characters but I am fond of it still (and I’m pretty sure it made me cry at one point. I don’t remember when but I remember something about it made me emotional). The fantasy magic of the world was definitely a big win for me. I think the creators did a decent job at world building. It’s your typical prophesied heroes must save the world from certain destruction but I found the show overall enjoyable and cute with a nice dose of found family thrown in.

My top favorite characters are Zarya Moonwolf and Emerald Goldenbraid.

9. DC Super Hero Girls

I started out as a G1 fan when it was still coming out and became a fan of the reboot as well. It was interesting to all these wonderful kickbutt superheroes placed in a high school -esque setting. The original series was very average with their shorts but it was such fun to see what characters would pop up to help (I even will tolerate and enjoy the LEGO specials). The reboot had better design and animation. I am sad it didn’t get a chance to run longer. My only qualm was that some characters had such a drastic change from their backstory and original character development that it moved from being whimsical and imaginative to simply keeping the name and having an entirely different character. *cough* Jessica *cough* They don’t get that she was such a powerful Green Lantern because she was bold but because most of the time she was scared out of mind due to her past trauma but still acted and pushed through the fear to save people.

Rant aside, my fave character is Jessica Cruz despite the reboot overhauling her character and erasing her backstory.

10. She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

Not necessarily my favorite glittery girly series I’ve watched but definitely an enjoyable series. True to my usual form, I unfortunately did not end up caring for most of the main plot and characters. However, the idea of this show was fun nonetheless and it had its nice moments, so I’m glad it got a decent number of seasons. The magic, weaponry, and elemental powers drew me to this show. I wish they delved a bit deeper into the true effects and trauma that fighting a war would have on all of the characters as they are leaders of their respective kingdoms.

My favorite characters include Entrapta (little nerdy characters are almost always a win for me), Mermista (Vella Lovell was perfect for voicing her and her character design is nice), Netossa (another awesome blue character; if anyone’s seen Six: The Musical, does she vaguely remind you of Catherine Parr?)

Bonus: Rainbow High

An interesting premise though it ultimately falls flat for me because I am not a fashion-oriented person in the slightest. However, I still like the show and all the drama that comes with it. I just overall find it hilarious to watch the squabbles that happen because everyone is just so high strung. (Why do all the guy characters literally look the exact same with that same stupid little hairstyle?) XD

Fave characters are Ainsley Slater and Jade Hunter.

Bonus: God’s School

Greek mythology! Need I say more? This is such an imaginative show. It is even more amazing considering one guy does all the animation. The webisodes that are out are great and I definitely recommend watching them on YouTube. Zeus looks like Disney Hercules and I find that hilarious. All the character designs for the gods are so awesome and I love the details that help indicate who they are. Ignore the fact that over half of them are related in some form or another and everything is fine.

Fave definitely has to be Athena! (…bad*** in the arena. Unmatched witty and queen of the best strategies we’ve seen.)

Bonus: Tinkerbell

These are just cute adventures. I wish the series could’ve continued so we could’ve gotten movies highlighting each of the fairies.

My fave is Silvermist.

Bonus: Steven Universe

I personally enjoyed this show and know it had a large fan base so I don’t get why so many people are going back and hating on it so fervently. It’s a flawed show like any but it still has it fine points and I have a soft spot for it. I heavily debated on whether this qualified for a magical girl show but I think it does. It’s nice seeing Steven grow alongside the gems and it’s a good show to put on in the background.

My favorites have to be Garnet and Sapphire.

Honorable mentions that I never fully watched but seem nice:

My Little Pony - I’m disappointed in myself for never getting into this show because it has all the right points for me to like it, including great Canadian voice actors and magic and ponies. I have watched some episodes and enjoyed them but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to sit through and binge the entire show.

LEGO Elves - watched some but I never got truly immersed.

Totally Spies! - never really gave it a go but it seems okay.

Winx Club - I tried to like it but the characters just didn’t hit for me.

W.I.T.C.H. - watched the first few episodes but nothing made me want to continue.

[paopaupaus]

part 8 of the Buddie Development Rant

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10

S4:E4 9-1-1, What’s your grievance?

i’m sorry but the scene where Buck is punching the punching bag and Eddie is right beside it is kindaaa…

S4:E5 Buck begins

One thing that i can take away from Eddie and Buck’s interactions, especially in this episode, is that they understand each other like no one else. Eddie tells Buck that he knew why he had to go into that fire, and something in his eyes makes me think that Buck felt like he didn’t have to explain anything to Eddie

S4:E6 Jinxed

bonus: did anyone notice all the women checking out Buck at 13:56 😂

and then Buck looking angry/confused when eddie said he had a date with Anna

S4:E7 There Goes the Neighborhood

why did Buck have to go on a date with the most annoying woman ever, i think it was weird timing with Eddie starting to date again.

And then they decide to keep her as Albert’s gf, but all of her traits are gone now? i felt like they introduced an anarchist and pessimist and then she starts dating Albert and it all goes away? plot device smh

S4:E8 Breaking Point

Buck babysitting Christopher while Eddie’s out on his date :”) and when he’s home Buck asks how did the date go and Eddie tells him “she taught me math” and he wasn’t lying??

S4:E12 Treasure Hunt

Eddie heard treasure hunt and immediately told buck we’d make a good team :) it was cute seeing them running around trying to find it, although Eddie did look sad when he found out Buck had already partnered with Taylor :(

S4:E13 Suspicion

Carla talks to Eddie and tells him that he needs to listen to his heart and not only to what Christopher needs.

At the end of the episode Eddie is shot, right in front of Buck, the world literally stopped and they looked into each other’s eyes. 😭 then when they are both on the ground Eddie reaches out with his hand to Buck. and it is said that Oliver (Buck’s actor) got their silouette tattooed after filming :”)

S4:E14 Survivors

ooohh my god. following the gunshot Buck pulls Eddie out of the middle of the streets and then carries him to get him in the truck (hot? 😃) in the truck Buck is tending to Eddie (is it a bad time to say that i love how Buck’s voice gets all high and pitchy when he’s freaked out?)

Buck “hey hey i got you, hey just… you just stay with me okay?” looking into his eyes 😭✋

Eddie “are you hurt?” (cause Buck was covered in his blood) honey you’re bleeding how can you focus on Buck (no but also let’s never forget Eddie is a BAMF who also pulled out a convoy from open fire in the war)

Buck “i need you to hang on” x2

Buck is COMPLETELY out of it shaking so much, but still all he wants to do is go with Christopher and be with him.

when he gets the news that Eddie is out of surgery he breaks down crying. guys idk about you but this doesn’t seem like simply just a friendship.

Anna calls Buck to tell him that Eddie woke up, first of all he makes sure Eddie makes a facetime call with Christopher.

Eddie “appreciate you staying with him”

Buck thought Chris should stay somewhere he knew, because carla offered to take him to her house.

Eddie “you were there for him when i couldn’t, that’s what matters.”

i love these two together, they aren’t just a bromance, they jumped straight to functional family.

Eddie babytrapped Bick, he made him Christopher’s godfather 😭 also i don’t see the big deal? a lot of people have said that it was wrong for Eddie to do that but Buck would 100% be up for the job and he already has a village that could help

“no one will ever fight as hard for my son as you”

i think this is the first time Eddie calls him Evan and it is so cute 😩

“because 😒 Evan 🙄 you came in here the other day and you said you thought it would have been better if it had been you who was shot😠”

with this we finish season 4 🫶 i’m glad i got addicted to this show because there’s so much contect and i love every single character, hope you have a great day/night and feel free to comment so we can chat!

[i-like-turkey]

I saw your Bluesky account was no longer active. I had also noticed you hadn’t posted since thanksgiving. I hope you’re ok and Pupperoni is also doing ok. Holidays can be brutal. Please know you are valued. And you are important.

Thanks for checking in on me!

Short answer: My pup is doing great. I’m not. But I’m alive and fully intend to stay that way.

Long answer: 2024 is officially in the running for the worst year of my life. It started with two massive losses in February and then another one in early May. I dealt with my dog grief by going out and getting a puppy. She is the only reason I got through those early days cause instead of not sleeping cause I’m bawling my eyes out, I was not sleeping cause I was getting up multiple times to take her potty. And then during the day I was too busy chasing her around to feel much of anything.

But then May hit and her behavior started changing. Instead of my biggest worries being a noise complaint cause she’d bark herself to sleep in her crate, it was can I get her out of my apartment without her biting my arms down to the bone and ripping my clothes to shreds and accidentally strangling me with the strap to her treat bag?

So this last summer was fucking hell. I tweeted a bit about it, but y’all don’t know half the story. Imagine being ten minutes from your car and your dog is so scared that she’s lost her fucking mind and the only thing she can do at that moment is attack YOU. She doesn’t care about sticks or treats or sniffing grass or anything else. All she wants is to bite YOU. And now you've gotta figure out how to get her back to your car without losing a finger or having someone call animal services on you.

I was bleeding daily and sleeping maybe 3-4 hours a night even though my pup was finally sleeping through the night cause I was stressed and cause was on a mission for answers. I was constantly Googling dog training and behavior and getting tips and seeing horror stories about dogs that had to get put down because they were acting like my pup. And that thought was killing me cause I couldn’t fathom losing another dog so soon after I said goodbye to my first baby.

So I wasn’t myself this summer. I was quick to anger and couldn’t think rationally and more stressed out than I’d ever been at any point in my life, law school included. Those days are now just a blur of horribleness and I’m glad that we got my pup’s medication figured out and that we're through them.

But getting through them has brought clarity and time and the mental state to actually deal with my grief and process all of the other things that I’ve lost throughout the year. I used the analogy for grief last chapter of a semi-truck of elephants strapped to Kate’s back. That’s appropriate for me here especially in December, but Kate’s swiss cheese analogy actually fits my situation better. I’m full of holes. I’ve lost big, massive chunks of my life and they aren’t coming back and there's no replacement for them. I’m empty and I’m lonely and I need to get my shit together because I can’t keep going on like this.

And that means I need to leave fandom. I’ve tried to put on a brave face and pretend that everything is ok, but I can’t do that anymore. Opening social media is just a reminder of the past and what’s gone and what’s not coming back and how sad and lonely I am. So it’s time to go. I deactivated bluesky. I haven’t opened IG in ages. Idk what I’m gonna do about it yet. I’ll figure it out. I might delete or I just might let it be a zombie account. My twitter accounts can live on as zombies. I will keep tumblr because it predated my participation in the Kacy fandom, but I don’t think I will be around much. I need to focus my scant free hours on cultivating real life connections.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for leaving a friend hangout?

So me (14 genderfluid) and a friend (15 ?) were supposed to hang out in town today (it’s 30th August at the moment of writing this). I was going to take the bus into town to go to an event sort of thing and had a couple of hours to spare before this, so we decided that we would take the bus directly after school to go hang out. We had had a hangout planned a few weeks earlier but I couldn’t get a ride to the place in question on Saturday and they couldn’t do it on Sunday so we decided to try another time.

The whole school day today was really bad. I’m currently getting bullied quite a lot and this has caused intense discomfort and anxiety around being in school as well as meeting other people from my school outside of it. While this day in particular wasn’t too bad (little to no mocking, harassment, barking at etc) I still had a lot of anxiety throughout the whole day, probably amplified by sleeping badly and not eating much for lunch. I felt like shit the whole day. The bus ride also made me anxious. The thought that I could meet my bullies on the bus and have nowhere to go and no teacher to help me terrified me.

So, school ends and I go to wait for the bus. I meet my friend there, but they are with some other people, one whom I know from before and a few I don’t know, that I don’t even know the names of. This was a bit concerning to me. I can be pretty social if I put my mind to it, but school and the bullying has really made me nervous about interacting with people my age. On top of that, the unknown people seem to be the kind of people giving me dirty looks. Not outright bullying, but clear distaste. Oh well, I thought, maybe they won’t even hang out with us? And they seemed to be disinterested in me and my existence. Not a hello, just a quick glance and that’s it.

That also put me a bit on edge. I’ve had experiences with hanging out with friends who bring their other friends and said other friends just completely ignore me. They don’t speak to me, don’t acknowledge anything I say, they don’t introduce themselves, nothing. This isn’t really fun, and it usually kinda ruins everything for me. It reminds me of parts of the bullying, when people just pretend I don’t exist.

So I was a bit worried, but managed to board the bus with little to no issues. I didn’t sit with any of my friends because the bus was too full, but I heard them talking to each other behind me.

We get off the bus and yeah it is very clear that we’re hanging out together. And it’s maybe like two people I don’t know, and a few I do know but I wasn’t told would be coming. Personally, I really don’t like when I’m not informed of everyone who’s coming along. This is especially bad with people I don’t know.

I decided to try to push through my unwillingness and tiredness and rampant anxiety. But first I had to text my mom. We made a deal that I would text her when I got to town to make sure it was ok. I had no mobile data, so I had to go to the library to try and get some internet. The friend told me that we should split up and meet up later, so that’s what they did. They went somewhere and I would just quickly run in to send a text to my mom.

But due to various issues I couldn’t send a message. Something with the internet connection idk. I got really worried that she would get worried and have no way of contacting me. After trying for a while I gave up and decided to go find my friends, maybe they could share their internet with me or something.

I couldn’t find them. Our town is very small but I couldn’t find them at any of the regular spots and I had no way of contacting them. I eventually gave up. I was sad, tired, hungry and very very anxious, and the day was going to shit. At that moment I really just wanted to go home.

I decided to call my mom and get her to pick me up. I felt bad for leaving my friends but there was no way I could handle staying in town for another 4-5 hours. I did lie to her and said I was having a stomach ache and that I was feeling ill. Mom agreed to pick me up.

Right when me and my mom were heading to the car I spotted my friends. I went to them and told them that I was feeling sick and I was going home. They just walked right past me with little to acknowledge of what I said.

I went home and I’m feeling better emotionally, sort of. I feel bad for lying and saying I was feeling sick, but I don’t know if I would have been taken seriously if I just said “I’m aggressively anxious and tired and starving and every other sound that reminds me of my bullies makes me lightheaded with fear”. I feel bad for leaving them but at that moment I felt like I was gonna cry if I didn’t get to go home. I don’t know if what I did was right.

Aita?

What are these acronyms?

[dewdroppdraws]

Hi I’m new to tumblr so I’m not sure how you normally post on here but I wanted to try posting some sketches of earth from tsams! I’m not the best with anatomy so I won’t lie I did trace over some photos (REAL PHOTOS NOT ART) I found on Pinterest and modified the proportions to fit my design, but I’m trying to improve lol. For now I just rlly wanted to flesh out my design for earth which I couldn’t do while my anatomy looked like crap 😭 all the full body ones I used references for but the one in the right corner was all me so I’ve got that to my name at least 💪 I’ll include my “reference” pictures as well :> and below the pics is an explanation of the design because I love to gush about this kind of thing. Fair warning, it’s pretty long LMAO

Hehe now it’s time for me to gush about my lil design 😈

So the first major difference you probably noticed (aside from body shape) is the very fluffy clothing I have her in. The leg warmers and… fingerless gloves? Leg warmers that she put on her arms? Idk what the arm ones are called but yk what I’m talking about lol. When I first noticed earths little rainbow headband my brain immediately said “80’s workout videos”. The big hair, the rainbow headband, it just immediately jumped ot at me and stuck. I decided to give her oversized leg warmers in that same rainbow pattern because it made me sad that her actual design doesn’t have the rainbow anywhere else. It’s funky and I like it what can I say.

Next I decided I really wanted her to wear thigh-highs. I personally love thigh-highs and also it gave me an excuse not to think about her leg mechanics. I tend to draw Sun and Moon like ball joint dolls, but it gets a lil funky to draw when they are bending their limbs so having a fluffy excuse to hide them was ideal lol. I decided to go with the bold choice of putting thigh highs and leg warmers on her, which I don’t regret even tho it probably seems like a lot. I might change a few things about her later down the line since these were just basic sketches so don’t worry if you hate it.

I gave her shorts because a skirt just didn’t feel right for her. I feel like a daycare attendant would be very active, even if earth tends to sit with the quieter kids, and a skirt would be very awkward to climb around in. I figured shorts would be good. I drew them like jean shorts since that was the original intention but they could be cloth rather than denim gimme time to think about it 💀

I had a lot of trouble decided whether the thingies on her shoulders were stand-alone or like pieces of hair she keeps up front (probably attached cuz she’s a robot) I decided on making them attached to the bigger floor of hair cuz I thought it looked cutest on the pic with her shoulders up and in front of her face lol.

Onto her chest plate thing, I was considering making it an actual shirt but decided against it. I wanted her to have a crop top bc I love crop tops so I just made it so her chest area was painted like a shirt, and then her middle area was back to her “skin” color, so it’s almost like a crop top but not really…?

Last but not least is her face, I also made that her “skin” color and just put the blue and green as her cheeks! I thought it looked cutest that way. She also has heterochromia cuz when a character has two main colors I really enjoy putting them on opposite sides as often as possible haha. So her green cheek has her blue eye and her blue cheek has her green eye. I know her original model has two blue eyes but this was what I went with.

Anyways that was super long and I’m super nervous about posting this so I’m just gonna hit post and if I find a typo or decide my lil explanation was 4 paragraphs too many I’ll fix it later. Have a nice day whoever is still reading this! :>

[amphibimations]

Some thoughts about how I’ve been using color in my WH drawings

So I’ve actually been using color pretty intentionally when I design the outfits for the characters, I’d like to talk about my thought process behind some of it!! A note that these are ideas that i’ve been building on as i’ve read the book, so I haven’t always used them consistently and i’m still building on them as i keep reading more of the book.

1) Cathy and Heathcliff always wear blue

In my first comic, I happened to choose blue for Heathcliff’s outfit. Not for any reason, I just thought it looked nice. Once I started drawing cathy, I decided to put her in blue too because having 2 characters in the same color works as a visual metaphor connecting them. After reading the ‘we share the same soul’ part I realized them wearing the same color constantly works even better, and started making a conscious decision that no other character I draw for WH will ever wear blue, to emphasize that the color represents their connection specifically. I also think this color works really well for them because of the color’s association with weather, sadness, nighttime, and ghosts.

2) Edgar and Isabella wearing green and red

This is a thing that doesn’t have that deep of a meaning behind it but i think its really funny. I chose those colors because i had drawn cathy and heathcliff throwing a red and green book that they hate and so i was like ‘haha. They also hate Isabella and edgar. i should do those colors.’ Also i think it worked out because i will sometimes give cathy more of a cyan-blue which is closer to edgar’s green, and heathcliff more of a indigo-blue which is closer to isabella’s red. I do think the colors I decided to use also speaks to how well the characterization of the siblings was written in their introduction, because just based on their first scene I decided red for isabella because she seemed more passionate and intense, and green for edgar because he seemed more meek.

3) Saturation of colors

This one i havent been consistent on, but i’d like to be more so in the future. And its less of a metaphor and more just because of how dyeing clothes works, but I tend to use more saturated colors for connoting wealth. Which is why, when cathy gets back with her new outfit from the lintons, it is such a deep blue, and why i added more brown to heathcliffs outfit and made the blue a bit faded once hindley started making him work. I mean im using pretty saturated colors for all of the characters right now because this is a cartoony style, but if I do make that graphic novel some day I think i’ll be more consistent with this idea.

4) A Mistake

When i was reading the first few chapters I knew going in that there was a ghost in the book, so when Cathy 2 showed up I thought she might have been the ghost at first. So in my head i pictured her wearing white even after i realized she wasnt the ghost. Even though the book SAYS she’s wearing BLACK…. Cathy 2 im so so sorry i robbed you of your goth girl colors i wont do it again. (i know her dress is probably black because she’s in ‘Official 1800s Husband Mourning’ over linton but come on u cant tell me she wouldn’t be goth if she was living in the modern day.)

5) other colors

I don’t really have a reason for the colors of lockwood, nelly, hindley, or hareton. I just thought they looked nice. Joseph wears blacks and greys because hes boring and mean. Idk i do think blue and orange being opposite colors sort of could work to highlight the difference between Heathcliff and Hareton (being put in a similar situation but having different endings). Like i said im still updating these ideas, haha.

edit: another thought i just had is that it would be so so funny to make the color of edgar’s clothes scheele’s green specifically. Get arsenic poisoned, idiot.

[ashdreams2023]

The umbrella academy season 4 thoughts (contain spoilers)

Let’s start with my top characters this season

Victor

Alison (surprisingly)

Klaus

Didn’t like them much for reasons I’ll explain

Ben

Lila

Five

Neutral about

Diego

Luther

Opinion on each character:

- First off Victor looks extra manly this season idk what it was but it was so good and he was so brave! I’m so proud of him and so glad he got the recognition he wanted from his dad, I like how his character got through the four seasons, his journey was great, he’s one of the most level headed to me personally in the group, he has every right to be angry and tired.

- Alison oh my god she worked this season, she knows she messed up bad and isn’t acting like she didn’t do anything wrong, it’s nice to see that by the end of the day she proved that all she needed was her family, Clare was also adorable, Also her knew powers are cool as shit, this Alison is so much better than season 3 and I’m glad we’re over that version of her

- I can not stress this enough but I’ll never get enough of klaus! It was such a nice touch to make him a germ phobic person and being scared of dying because he couldn’t just come back, him too timid and unlike his…well himself! Also I’m tired of seeing his potential going to waste! He is powerful! Literally he speak and order the dead! What happened?! Like his power is so dope! On a side note I sorta felt sad when I realized he started drinking at a young age to cope with the voices and what he sees

- Ben…Jesus Christ I haven’t liked him since season 3 and I still don’t, I miss the Ben from the first two seasons I used to have a crush on him he was adorable, funny and slightly crazy, plus he was always with klaus they were a duo, this Ben from the sparrow academy was not it and what you mean all of this was his fault? 💀 like yeah you want to be a hero but look to what that lead

- Lila I think she’s cool…her and Diego are badasses, but girl! Tf wrong with you?! Fine do undercover work, you have a right to be your own person you’re not just a wife but god damn did you have to go and be with five! Other than that it was just a mess

- five was so out of character this season, what happened to the overworked, tempered person I loved?! What you mean you fell for Lila because you followed her stupid idea?! And guess what? You got nothing out of it! You got lost for seven years in there, gathered literally nothing and had an affair with your sister in law! they could’ve been creative and pull a human Delors from one of the other timelines and make him a love interest but nope! They had to make it messy and weird

- Diego oh my sweet Diego, his character is so…I don’t know but I never disliked him, he has mommy issues and he’s hella funny without realizing it, also poor him this season, although he’s definitely softened up, it’s adorable that he made himself a family even though it got taken away at the end 💀 also he’s justified for being angry at five, that one bullet scene was excellent though

- Luther, actually like took me tf out that he was working as a stripper omg lol! I almost forgot how slim the actual actor was, he was dumb and funny, and I genuinely wondered where his wife went, he was so ready to go find her at the end of last season 

Overall:

I didn’t hate the final ending, I mean it made sense for that every timeline they stepped in they destroyed, like I’ll miss them to bits, those dumb idiots and pretend season 4 never happened because I gained nothing but a WTF did I just watch moment, and I thought people were exaggerating but it was just not that good…I wished they gave Ben and Jennifer more time so their relationship isn’t solely based on what’s inside them and justice for my man Klaus he suffered so much throughout these seasons.

Anyways at the end of the day these are only opinions and if you like this season good for you babe, enjoy whatever makes you happy 🤍

[clanoffelidae]

I don’t have an updated picture of her but I’ve been working on my lab wolf some more. Idk if I ever shared a picture here to begin with so this is her from a while ago. :)

I had to hide her a while back because we had an important tour group coming by, so I stashed her in that little space you can see behind the paper stand (black thing right behind the wolf) and the broken glass box (white box to the left with the bright orange biohazard trash bags). Because I then put paper in said paper stand I no-object-permanence forgot she was there lmao

She’s made entirely of stuff from within the lab, mostly scrap paper that would need to be shredded anyway, some wooden stir sticks we use to agitate samples (we work with serum but sometimes samples have clots we have to agitate so the serum can be separated out since the clot is stuck to the side of the tube and won’t let the serum separate, horses also tend to have fiber clots that basically hold the serum captive and so we squish it out with the stick before centrifuging), some bits of scrap parafilm that would be thrown out otherwise (we order some liquid media that comes parafilmed shut and normally the parafilm would just get trashed, it’s on sterile media so it’s not contaminated or anything, I would NEVER use parafilm that had been on a sample lmao), and tape :)

My bosses don’t mind bc she’s something I work on very scarcely during short incubation periods I don’t have time to do anything productive with, or for a few minutes at the end of the day etc. For instance the test I currently run has some wash cycles where I put the slides in a basin with some PBS and they sit on a plate that automatically moves in a circle to gently wash them for 3 minutes, then I change out the PBS and let it go for another 3 minutes, then change the PBS and it goes for 4 minutes, then I can continue. This happens twice throughout the test and I’ll use these short periods to finish filling out some paperwork if it’s not done, but if it is then like 🤷 whoever’s running the test will usually just sit/stand there waiting to change the PBS so my bosses don’t mind if I work on lab wolf a little bit during those times. She doesn’t take up much space, I know to hide her from higher ups who might disapprove, and is just a fun little thing for me to do to keep myself occupied and I’m clearly enjoying myself so there’s no reason for them to snip at me. I also do some origami out of scrap paper and they’ve told me to de-clutter before when I made too much and I didn’t mind, it was just something to do to keep my hands occupied, so they know I’ll get rid of her if I have to (albeit not without a fair bit of sadness as I’ve put much more work into her than any of the origami 🥲)

And the only things she’s made of that wouldn’t be trashed anyway are some tape and wooden sticks. We throw the sticks out if we accidentally drop them and she’s the only thing I’ve made with them, and she uses about as much tape as we might use to shut two broken glass boxes to send down for autoclaving, and we send down at least half a dozen a week, so it’s not as if I’m repurposing all of our lab supplies for arts and crafts or anything lmao. So no one really minds as long as I’m not working on her excessively, don’t let her get in the way of work, and make sure to hide her/not work on her when an audit or tour group is coming by.

I call her my lab wolf not just because she’s something I work on at the lab but because she can’t LEAVE the lab due to our rules about decontaminating anything that leaves the lab. She wouldn’t be able to be safely decontaminated so she can’t ever leave the lab. In the lab she was born and in the lab she shall die one day. At MOST if we were moving to a new lab location she might be able to be put in a bag, have the outside of that cleaned, and then unpacked once back in the lab, but I could never take her home or anything.

Sadly I never brought my phone in to get a picture of her during her early stages, this is the only picture I have, but she actually has a jointed spine/tail and a rib cage under there for support! Of course, with all the tape/paper/parafilm on top she doesn’t have much range of movement anymore, but her neck/spine/tail is made of small cut pieces of stir stick taped together, and had quite a good range of motion when naked! The rib cage was both to increase her weight at her center of mass to make her more stable, and so that way I had a good base to work with to help make sure her chest was larger than her abdomen. :) You can still feel some of the ribs if you gently push along her chest, and cab faintly see a shadow of one in front of her shoulder there!

She’s definitely not the most anatomically correct or impressive statue out there but she’s just something I’m doing for fun at work during my occasional down moments where I don’t have the time to start anything else, and I love her :)

[areamodell]

dropping my lore bc i’m bored and want a recap

i will like always wonder why me and my parents never had a healthy relationship w eachother. idk if it was bc my parents js decided to split up when i was only 4 or what but i kinda never had a good relationship w either of them…🤔

when i was younger (like i said, 4), my parents split up and i wanted to be w my mom more bc i love my mom and when i was around 7 she got a bf and had my brother, wtv. but a year or 2 after having my brother they started having issues and argued literally almost every chance they got and it was bc of smth dumb i swear. and then my mom js disappeared to oklahoma from 2017-2021 and i quite literally didn’t know what was happening. at the time i was living with my dad so yeahhh

and i didn’t like living with my dad bc i was always scared of him and i was always intimidated by what would happen if i got a bad grade and to this day im lowk still scared to ask for help w anything. whether its grades or anything bc when i was in 1st grade my dad wanted me to be an overachiever. so everyday after school i obvi had hw and i sat in the living room w him and he’d help me. i think u can assume what would happen everytime he got mad but if its not obvious, he’d yell, sometimes smack me, and lowk be messing up my hw paper. so like id obviously be scared of him

when my mom came back from oklahoma or wtv i went back w her but the apartment i was living w my step dad, brother, and mom, was literally empty, like they ditched it when my mom came back. and my mom literally went crazy for awhile. and to sum up her crazy was basically going to court often, filing kidnapping papers(cs my step dad took my brother too when they ditched the apartment), and not being able to provide a good childhood since she had no money. so i was an basically an akward 10 year old at the time both scared of my parents. when i was 10 or 11 i was in the car w my mom and she was kinda js talking on the phone and i don’t remember what it was abt but i told her like “i got sa’d by grandpa” and when i told her she was obviously surprised and im time skipping a little but she asked her dad which is the grandpa and overall, nothing was charged bc i had no proof and bc it happend a long time ago when i was 4.

my dad was an overall good guy w a bad temper so yeah when he’d get mad he would be really really mad. but i’m glad he’s a changed guy and i could talk to him sometimes.

my mom is doing okay now too. in 2022 she got a truck driving job so good for her. but i hate that i can’t even have the mother daughter relationship like other girls my age. like yeah i wanna tell her all the drama at school, yes i wannna trust her with my relationship status and who i like, but i can’t without her telling my dad. so BOOM trust a little broken. but it’s so uncomfortable at her house when i go over on weekends because i just feel like a roommate bc she makes me pay for my own stuff. like when we go out i pay for my own food and clothes and wtv, and restaurants too. so i kinda js get sad when i think abt it bc i kinda js wanna be treated like her kid instead of a grown up. and it honestly doesnt make it better that my brother gets her undivided attention and all i get was a good job. not trying to sound ungrateful but yeah. at first when i was able to see her, she tried to bribe me with gifts as if to be won over by it but i js wish i had a childhood.

me and my dads relationship is okay. we arnt close but we talk, but he doesn’t get me like that. like i wish my mom could js listen and give me advice as if we been bsf for years.

[griancraft]

Ok as per my last post. This is Long and very much about my feelings so uh don’t read it if you don’t want to. Also I’m aware I sound genujneky crazy for half of this I’m just really really mentally ill in ways I don’t talk about here at all and now I am sharing them and it’s. A little scary but oh well. The system stuff is the stuff I’m most concerned about right now to be honest bc it effects my day to day and if anyone has any kind words or thoughts on what to do I’ll be happy to listen

Please read my previous post if you’re mad /gen I don’t think I say anything bad here but I have really bad morality ocd so like uhm I am scared to post this!!! Prev post

Also I’m very sorry that the prose is terrible to read and my spelling is shit I have dyspraxia which is a coordination thing and it’s worse rn

The maybe I was boring album came on yesterday while I was cleaning and I had to stop what I was doing and turn it off halfway through because I just couldn’t stop hearing an admission. I wasn’t even sad I was just. So done with it. I still am just kinda like. God I hope Shelby is doing ok with all this being public now. I’m glad she was able to heal like she said and I’m glad she made the video dude.

I almost got his lyrics tattooed if that’s testament to how much I loved his early music. It’s not connecting in my brain that this music that’s been apart of my life for like 4 years and helped me through so much was made by an abuser.

But like, in retrospect you can see it. I can’t bear to delete ycgma off my mp3 player bc I related to his songs so much as an abused lonely teenager but I also can’t bare to listen to it. I learned the fall on my guitar as my final exam and I used to repeat his lyrics to myself to cope with abuse and I wish I could still love these songs. I dressed like his dsmp character bc I thought it made me look cool. Which is lame as fuck to admit now lol

Originally I was planning on pirating them and I like, can’t especially after that manipulative ass statement. How much was an act? I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m a bad person because I still kinda do want to listen to that music again. I still want to feel that safe but I know I won’t feel that way anymore.

with dsmp stuff I think I’m going to be still able to look back fondly on it generally and I don’t think I’ll ever stop. The community was what made it and the community is what I loved, and i still do. I don’t think I’m going to reblog art of him specifically but if he’s in it I might. Idk. My policy on dream fanart is if he’s not alone in the art and it’s dsmp or mcc related I reblog so I guess I’ll continue that here. Im sorry if that sounds callous I just. Am not prepared to talk about this so I’m going back and forth

And like. We also have a wilbur factive/fictive and we have for years now and nobody in our system knows how to feel about that. He formed to fill the role of a big brother (I was being heavily emotionally neglected at that point and needed someone to be there for me) and protector from my parents abuse. Obviously, he is entirely separate from his source now bc alters change a lot for me but how we picture him is still wilbur. he’s literally just some guy now but grappling with that connection is fucked up dude it’s weird. He’ll probably further distance himself but it still fucking sucks and I don’t know how to communicate the cognitive dissonance we had to push through bc our brain struggled at first to make sense of how this person who we liked so much that he became the template for a Protector to shield us from the emotional neglect and abuse, essentially, is a terrible person. I’m sorry I know people who aren’t systems, and some who are ngl, will find this fuckibg nuts and I get that but we’re a very very internal person like I just. Kinda am with us as a system a lot and nobody else. It feels like my safe space that I’ve created in my head has been marred. Also. uhm. Our alters speak in distinct voices so it’s bad bad for me rn and we are trying to fix it. I know I know fictives and factives arenttheir source but that doesn’t change that it makes me feel gross. I’m rambling rn I’m sorry. Support Shelby.

[swiftfootedachilles]

Hi! You asked for an ask and I’m always down to ask so…do you have any headcanons about Mickey’s time in Mexico?

wow you managed to ask me about the only thing of this show that i HAVENT rlly thought about so hats off to you

uhhhh okay first, PRE-MEXICO. i think mickey broke out in the first place because he knew ian wasnt gonna wait for him. i think if ian didnt break up with him and dedicated himself to being a prison boyfriend (?) mickey wouldve stayed in. (i also think he wouldve found a skeevy defense lawyer who owes the milkoviches some debts and appealed his conviction bc lets be honest its total bullshit that he got locked away just based off sammi's unreliable testimony. like where the fuck was debby to lie under oath and say mickey was with her the whole time and she saw sammi take more pills than usual and go outside to move things. sorry im losing the plot this is NOT the time to discuss my s6 rewrite.) mikey haf absolutely no reason to stay in prison, stay in chicago, so i think after nearly 2 years of no visits from ian he just gave the fuck up. why not try to escape? hes smart, he can conjure up a decent plan, right? worst case scenario he goes back to prison, which didnt really fucking matter to him bc he was in prison anyway and he just. didnt care anymore.

so, he broke out and contacted ian ina last-ditch effort to get the love of his life back. he knew ian wasnt gonna wait for him, but at the docks hes obviously still shocked to hear ian moved on fast enough to have a boyfriend already. then ian agreed to go to mexico and mickey was SO READY to start LIVING HIS LIFE. he thought that would be IT. him and his lover in mexico at the beach, getting away from all the bad memories of chicago and having a place to START OVER!!! then ian changed his mind last minute and mickey was fucking CRUSHED. AGAIN. and all of a sudden now hes in mexico alone and all his previous plans went out the fucking window because he totally didnt spend the past few days rearranging his plans to revolve around ian being with him.

i dont really think a lot about mickey's time in mexico. i think he was sad. i think he was angry. i think he just did what he could to stay alive and try to move on but he never really didnt. i think he kept his head low and did his job in the cartel and tried to learn spanish but it was too fucking hard so he gave up on that pretty quickly and attached himself to the multilingual members of the gang. i definitely dont think he had a boyfriend. im sure he fucked around with other guys, but i also think he spent more time laying in his shitty apartment that he shared with like 4 other guys trying not to cry too loud thinking about what could have been.

i also dont think he worked for el chapo lmfao sorry to anyone who thinks that but the timeline doesnt even line up. and if he somehow did have a part in taking down el chapo he wouldve been put in witness protection. he probably wouldve gotten killed anyway tho

my dumb ass didnt realize he got a new tattoo until like deep into s10 and i gaslit myself into thinking it was always there LMFAO but i love that he got another tattoo there. i like to think this one was with a clean needle. i dont think this happened in canon, but MY mickey wouldve gotten a tongue piercing! perhaps other ones too. a couple other tattoos, a cartilage piercing, an eyebrow, his nipples. idk. just to change his appearance more. yeah. thats. the only reason.

anyway i think he got back into the US by working with an undercover cop and being a part of a pre-planned drug bust that included him being "arrested" and making it seem like he got extradited to the US only for being wanted. if he wouldve just waltzed into a precinct and said "hey i got dirt on this cartel" his as wouldve been killed so quickly. it needed to be a lot more covert so the other members didnt catch on and get rid of him. i do think eventually they probably figured out he was the anonymous witness whose interviewed were used in trial, which is why when he gets released in s10 the CO tells him the cartel is looking for him. sorry im going all Law & Order here talking about a s6 trial and now a trial against the cartel i need to stop

[ash4prez]

because absolutely NOBODY asked, here’s a list of my top ten favourite warriors characters (SO FAR)

a lot of you are gonna hate me for not including/including certain characters tbh but this is just my opinion

Disclaimer: I’m on Book 1 of Power of Three currently, so these characters are mostly comprised of those from TBP and TNP. i’ll probably make an updated list at some point in the future, but for now this is how it stands:

#10–Longtail. He’s just a good guy tbh. From being a meanie at the start, to choosing not to leave Thunderclan with Dark and Tiger, to being forced into early retirement but taking it like a champ, this guy has just come to be one of my favourite cattos in the series.

#9–Mousefur. The icon, the legend. She’s literally unfiltered and completely rude to everyone without even giving a shit. She’s shown to be very opinionated and headstrong, but also displays a caring side when it comes to Longtail’s blindness. 10/10 character for me.

#8—Ravenpaw. Is there anyone out there who actually dislikes this guy? I genuinely think he is the most chill cinnamon roll ever. He just wants to vibe with his husband in a barn and maybe warn firestar about important stuff sometimes. Even tho he’s a loner, he respects the warrior code and understands the clan ways. He’s just so awesome and i love him.

#7—Stonefur. Yeah yeah i know we only really knew him for a few books, but I just really liked his character. He was really brave and noble, loyal to his clan, generally a good guy. His death was so sad and honestly just the fact that he went down fighting made me respect him even more.

#6—Sorreltail. Omg idk why i like her so much. Just when she was a new warrior and was best buddies with Leafpool made me so happy, and then for her to become mates with Brackenfur (more on him later—) was just a very good ship for me. I just think Sorreltail is cool and generally a nice cat.

#5—Dustpelt. The biggest G in the entire clan. Honestly Dustyboi is so awesome and i love him so much. Like at first i really didn’t like him, what with the way he was rude to Fire and generally an unpleasant guy, but he got so much better and now i stan him.

#4—Tallstar. OK ALRIGHT SETTLE DOWN, hear me out. Reason number one why i love him is that he’s gay and cute with Jake and we love that for him. Reason number two is that he’s actually a decent guy and isn’t passive aggressive and weird like the other leaders are, he just wants to vibe on with his clan and be chill with everyone. Idk i grew very attached to Tallstar throughout the first two series.

#3—Brackenfur. AHHHH where to start with Brackenfur. He’s just an amazing guy honestly. Like he’s chill, gets along with everyone, but also very brave and noble in the sense that he would literally die for his clan. I usually get very attached to the vanilla side characters who have no real plotlines so this is very expected of me, i just really love brackenfur and his character.

#2—Cinderpelt. Not a DAY GOES BY where i don’t cry over her tragic death and the mountains of wasted potential. Fricking Starclan really had to reincarnate her? What was the point of killing her? Ik it probably had something to do with Leafpool being ✨ special ✨ and the only medicine cat, but come on man. Just look at cinder. Look at how cool and awesome she is.

AAAAND COMING IN AT NUMBER ONE ISSSSS *drumroll intensifies*

#1—The most amazing cat ever to be seen, my guy WHITESTORM!!! Honestly come at me for not putting greystripe or squilf in here, idc. Whitestorm for me is an example of what a warrior cat SHOULD be. He was smart, brave, loyal, trustworthy, chill…he literally had no flaws. Like what did man ever do that was controversial? I cant think of anything, i mean correct me if i’m wrong. I just stan Whitestorm and wish he’d been leader istg.

Thanks for reading this ridiculously long rant lol

[webslingingslasher]

HEEYYYY J so idk if we’re talking about this stuff over here but i really need to tell someone about this

ok so thursday august 29 at 3:20 i took the train to like go and hang out with my friend and i arrived at the station and my friend said that she was gonna be late so instead of going outside i stayed in the train station bc outside was too hot, then i saw the most jaw-dropping beautiful guy i’ve ever seen in my life (he kinda looked like andrew garfield which is like my biggest crush ever) and he was so cute and he had brown hair and brown eyes and he wore cute round black glasses and a backpack and he had an android (green flag). and so i went and sat next to him and i swear to god i have never ever seen a cuter guy than him in real life, even tho he had a pretty basic white boy face there was just something about him that idk, and you have to know that i’m like the most shy person ever so i wanted to ask for his instagram but i was too shy but then i thought to myself wow why am i so anxious about this? i’ve never seen this guy, don’t even know his name and he doesn’t know mine so even if he rejects me who cares no one would know anyway.

so i get ready and i was about to ask for his instagram but then i saw that he had earphones in and then like 3 seconds later he went up and took the next train :(

and now it’s 4 days later and i keep thinking about him(cuz he’s so hot 😍) and about this situation bc if i just had the courage (and 5 more seconds) we might’ve been talking rn and also because i like never find guys attractive (and if i do they turn out gay) and i’ve been obsessing over it and it’s so sad i hate being so shy IT’S SOOOOO FRUSTRATING

🍒

okay so basically, STAY DOWN IN THE TRAIN STATION UNTIL YOU SEE HIM AGAIN.

[brains4ne]

Closer i guess.

So as you guys have seen I’ve been on break for a few days only doing one tag game. I’ve decided before I start doing all of this literally i want you guys to try and understand why I’m doing this and why I want to get help

IF YOU DONT WANT TO READ THIS THATS FINE.

My problems with attachment issues

so..as it says I want to come out and say I have attachment issues and I’ve never felt more lonely before in my life. It started in 2023 when I had this one best friend who I thought genuinely loved me when she didn’t she never did after November of 2022 I needed someone in my life and she was there and comforted me one day on 2023 she invited me to her group of friends and they all made fun of me they body shamed me, they told me I was a “fatass” or I was “ugly” they sent pictures of me to that group chat and took me down one by one. I didn’t stop being friends with her after that tho I thought she was just a nice person and her friends were ass holes but I was wrong I was a fool and completely let her disrespect me because I thought I deserved it. In June she blocked me and I felt a lot of emotions go by me, I was upset she did that without notice, I was happy i didn’t have to worry, and I was angry I missed the old her that genuinely cared and wanted me around I missed the 4 hours calls and hang outs but the most gut wrenching feeling I felt..was I wanted closer and I wanted to know why she did that what point was she trying to make, after that I felt like I had to find points to not like her but nothing worked I tried doing everything but nothing worked I hated myself for the longest time and I still do. Now for the longest time I’ve always felt this way somehow every person I’ve become best friends with left me.

Now to the point. I feel like I need a break because I had this one best friend who I’ve became clingy with they always made me laugh and feel loved but as of recently I haven’t talked to them in a while and they’ve been giving attention to there other friends and I’ve felt left out and I told them about this but I feel like they ignored me and didn’t listen which made me feel absolutely horrible it made me depressed and upset that’s also why I’ve made so many vent posts and took over my blog with them the reason why I did it 24/7 when someone went wrong was because I wanted someone to at least ask “are you okay?” I was so frustrated that people I knew were getting that. They had friends who checked up on them and they had someone asking that question that I wanted them to ask me so every time I felt irritated, upset, sad, angry, or uncomfortable I made a post and prayed that something or someone could take that pain away but at the end of the day I realize I had to do it myself.

but I’ve decided since I’ve been feeling this up till now it would be best for me to take a break from this app I’ve had sm shit happen on this app that I can’t get into rn but I wanted you all to know that I love you all and I’m trying to show it but idk how to atm.

I am sorry

, love lawrence

@shakespeareofficialaccount

@confusedhomicidalrage

[seeingivy]

aot characters as specific taylor swift songs 

**an: based on this post by @crazychaoticizzy - I just had to pick the songs for the albums that you picked bc they were so perfect :DDD 

- 

erwin smith a place in this world - from debut

seemed like a no brainer, erwin gives country vibes 

like idk how to explain it but he would wear cowboy hats, and cowboy boots, and out of taylor’s discography he would be THE country album

erwin from texas agenda

“don’t know what’s down this road, i’m just walking / im just walking / trying to find a place in the world”

historia reiss the way I loved you - from fearless

right. 

miss fearless for SURE 

this is pregnant historia s4 who deserved a happy ending w/ ymir’s SONG SPECIFICALLY

cuz I know that farmer has 0 heat, esp compared to the love of my life ymir 

“he says you look beautiful tonight / and I feel perfectly fine / but I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain / it’s 2 am and i’m cursing your name / so in love that I acted insane but that’s the way I loved you” 

hange zoe mean - from speak now

idk just gives hange vibes

like they would LOVE to scream this song and air out their frustrations yk?? esp season 4 exhausted hange 

but hange does things on their own terms!!! hence the song 

“I bet you got pushed around / somebody made you cold / but the cycle ends right now / cause you can’t lead me down that road”

mikasa ackerman - sad beautiful tragic from red

so, basically any song on red. like the urge to pick all too well for the scarf line was too powerful 

BUT I had to pick this one cuz it’s so eremika it hurts

my red baby she is just like me fr 

“and time / is taking it’s sweet time erasing you / and you’ve got your demons / and darling they all look like me / cause we had a beautiful magic love affair there / what a sad beautiful tragic love affair” 

sasha braus - new romantics from 1989 

similar to 1989, sasha is all vibes, no skips, no emo crap

so, I had to pick the highest energy, scream at the top of your lungs, stick your head out the window song WHICH was the new romantics, obv. 

but song is just good vibes, makes u wanna dance which is very sasha I feel 

“and every day is like a battle / but every night with us is like a dream / we are too busy dancing, to get knocked off of our feet / the best people in life are free” 

levi ackerman - look what you made me do from reputation 

duh. 

may I quote that one scene where levi promises to kill zeke for erwin? yeah? yeah. 

also just has the whole revenge, justice thing in his vibes idk 

“the world moves on another day, another drama drama / but not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma / and when the world moves on, there’s one thing for sure / maybe I got mine but you’ll all get yours” 

connie springer - death by a thousand cuts from lover 

ok so

picked this song cuz baby connie just KEEPS GETTING BETRAYED  

let him rest. leave him alone. let him keep his friends. 

also sasha connie coded sorry I just know he’s stuck on things like this - sasha, his mom, eren 

“cause I can pretend it’s okay when it’s not / saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts / but if the story’s over, why am I still writing pages?” 

armin arlert - this is me trying from folklore 

I don’t even have to explain this one

like rlly, I don’t 

“they told me all of my cages were mental / so I got wasted like all my potential / I just wanted you to know / that this is me trying” 

reiner braun - evermore ft. bon iver from evermore 

WOOP

evermore will be post-war reiner’s jam like he finally gets to have his peace after struggling for so long 

specifically the lyric change from “this pain would be for evermore” to “this pain wouldn’t be for evermore” bc reiner finally gets to live in peace 

eren yeager - you’re on your own kid from midnights 

was gonna pick anti-hero, because he, in fact, is the problem

but you’re on your own kid, just his SONG. 

“I looked around in a blood soaked gown and saw something they can’t take away / so make the friendship bracelets / take the moment and taste it / you’ve got no reason to be afraid / you’re on your own kid, you always have been”