#I’m in so much pain lol
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my back was doing so good for so long and now all the pain is just back x10 and idk what to do. i think i’ve been exerting myself physically too much (lifting heavy things at work, going out after a heavy lifting work day, going out again the next day) and now my body is shutting down. anyways i will be forcing myself to rest tomorrow which means… i shall stay in bed reading and writing probably. maybe do some revisions on These Bones and work on the new chapter
i have so many new ideas that i want to work into the story, ways to create more tension between the two… aka have sanji and zoro be at each others throats… metaphorically of course
#i’m in so much pain lol#do y’all know how hard it is to find a comfortable sleeping position when your lower back is on fire?????#like this shit sucks!!#back pain#ao3 writer#back problems#chronic pain#ao3#zosan#fanfiction
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so im currently on camp and i have to deal with thirty 11 year olds and i have to cook dinner for 43 people tonight how fun. im running on 3 hours of sleep, 1 cup of coffee and pain lmao. everything in my body hurts because sleeping on rocks will do that plus i fell asleep in my binder yay. i also proceeded to fall earlier and cut my leg so that’s great. camp is so funnnn
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I neeeeeeed to perish I think
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#tw sh#tw self harm#I have nowhere else to vent ignore me#if I don’t type this out I’ll kill mhself#I have had two self harm relapses since yesterday#to quote Lana I’ve been chopping it up#I’m in so much pain lol#emotionally k mean#I guess physically too but#tw suicide mention#venting#I keep wondering literally why I don’t just finally do it#I fuck up everything I fucked up my entire life#hurting myself is the only way I know how to cope#and it’s what I feel I deserve#anyway shoutout to the adult bitches who still remember how to wrestle blades out of razors to ruin their thighs#it didn’t help but#ok I need to get this off my chest#trigger warning#trigger warning self harm#hate being one of those mfers that constantly thinks about ending it but isn’t brave enough#this is not election related lol
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i would be going on holiday today with my best friend today if she hadn’t abandoned me. I’m so miserable
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You know what would make my life so much more fun and sexy and cool?? Shingles!!
#I’m 27 why am I getting shingles#oh I know! cause my parents took me to a fuckin pox party when I was 5!#I’m in so much pain lol
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finding out you shouldn’t take ibuprofen and piroxicam together is like telling me to go slay the dragon with only a shield please I’m in pain
#I only took both yesterday but with several hours apart#was thinking of doing it again today but decided to look it up first#I’m in so much pain lol#cw medication
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[wipinf] thinking bout that one part in jttw96 where nezha and hong hai er fight in a dream
#I think they would fucking hate each other#sorry guys I’m sick of working on this lol#wipinf means wip I’ll never finish -w-#or2#I still really like my designs for them tho even if figuring out the colors are a pain in the ass#ignore that ugly samadhi fire I wanted to make it multicolored to show that it wasn’t regular fire#I couldn’t figure out what method to use tho lol#btw I fucking HATED hong hai er in 84 I deadass almost stopped first season cuz of him and his stupid parents 😭😭😭#girl just make a new kid throw this one away#child who actively plays a part in their parents divorce so they can have two birthdays#kick his ass nezha#digital art#my art#journey to the west 1996#nezha#red boy#jttw nezha#jttw red boy#hong hai'er#I adore the small buns they put in young child hairstyles back then tho#so cute :3#nezha you have so much shit on you it’s crazy#various accoutrements could you spare a few#me walking around jingling with every step cuz of the multitudes of keychains I have on me
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Time’s primary love language is touch
#it wasn’t always that way#he was severely touched starved as a kid and young adult#the physical contact he got was all harsh and painful#the agony of masks#and the bite of blades#but once he met Malon#he was reminded of all the other things touch can be#gentle and warm and reassuring and kind#so now he shows that same gentle comfort towards those he cares for#a hand on a shoulder#a hug#they are his subtle ways of showing how very much he cares#trin rambles#linked universe#lu time#I’m gonna make a longer post with references to lu to prove this headcanon lol#srsly I’m gonna do it
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#art#my art#fuzzy au#blood#Idk how many of you know that the whiskers on a cat are also expressive of pain#if they’re all puffed up like that and also combined with the floppy ears it means that it’s going through so much pain#and sometimes it’s not physical pain#actually idk if this is vent art lol I’m js feeling a bit down now but I just had this image in my head all day
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snoopy image of the day
#snoopy#peanuts#christmas#finally decorated the tree today lol#I’m in so much pain and my meds aren’t even touching it
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Just thought I’d post some pics of my girlfriend and I’s billford cosplays at NYCC2024 :3 despite the…..signing incident…. It was incredible!! Guys Alex hirsch was RIGHT THERE….. IN FRONT OF US…. AAAHHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHWHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA………………….
📸: @milfsatan 🚬🗿 (the coolest ever)
#I haven’t been this sleep deprived in my life ever ever ever baaaahahaha I’m stumbling in this airport rn🥲#I’m also in so much pain bc disabled LOL#I thugged out a 20 hour day no meals no water no sleep#and I’d do it again but maybe be more responsible#I love all my friends and my girlfriend#and hanging out with em was like the craziest thing ever#she’s the coolest#nycc 2024#gravity falls#billford
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I can’t get enough of these two being in love
#danny phantom#vlad plasmius#vlad masters#danny fenton#dp#pompous pep#it’s a wholesome prequel to my previous drawing I suppose#before they got caught in the act Hehehheh#I couldn’t resist showing Danny’s belly it’s one of my favorite things to add#that and vlads arms which I want to chew on#don’t have my tablet for the weekend so it’s back to pencil#it’s been like two weeks since I’ve picked up a pencil I felt like I forgot how to use it lol#my posture is SO MUCH WORSE when drawing traditionally I’m in so much pain rn#art is pain this I know is true#why do I ramble so much in the tags
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I decided to start talking about Wick and Rocky's relationship because I like their dynamics too, I like seeing Wick scared of Rocky and Rocky being aggressive with him, which is unusual because Rocky is rarely aggressive with anyone, but of course Wick is an exception to rule
Also my mini opinion about their possible relationship, I think that if Rocky didn't have to fight for his place, then he and Wick could become friends, or at least tolerate each other a little, I also see some superficial similarities, their gentlemanly and romantic natures, and their common love for explosions (remembering the quarrymen chapter), but this is my assumption, I think that I don't understand the characters' personalities well, so I can be wrong in this assumption, something like that. So, what do you think about their relationship?
for starters, i cannot thank you enough for this ask! as i’ve said previously, i have many thoughts on these two, so it’s nice to finally be able to share some of them. although given the extent to which i think about them, i apologize in advance if this is sloppy and sort of everywhere … while i’ll try to structure things the best i can, i cannot promise i’ll succeed! but hopefully this is an enjoyable reply nonetheless.
one of my favorite things about rocky and wick’s relationship is absolutely how aggressive rocky is towards the aristocrat ; he is prone to glares and cruel jokes and borderline hissing whenever the man is within his line of sight, or can be brought to a wailing-fit over the mere mention of his name from miss m’s mouth. there is a childishness to it, but a very prominent threat as well in spite of rocky’s usual incompetence. so he goes out of his way to posture around wick, readily lying and adorning himself with the gangster drapes he so badly wants to wear, in the hopes that it intimidates … will even badmouth wick’s family and make fun of his name and rock related obsession to mitzi, and so on so forth! yet all of this is very reminiscent of schoolyard bullying rather than anything too severe, though we as the audience understand rather quickly that rocky would bash wick’s head in with a tire iron if he could. ( translation : if it wouldn’t earn the tears or hate of a certain beloved mitzi may ) and it’s all very intense despite the absence of actual violence! and i understand why many fans see this as unusual for rocky and believe that it’s only wick who makes him act so aggressively, but i’d argue it isn’t really wick at all that prompts such scary reactions from him … and that rocky is a deeply angry character who’s a.) been boiling quietly for a long, long time and b.) has turned wick into a punching bag of sorts for this inner world of resentment and hurt. basically, when he’s judging the well-to-do or poking fun, his eyes don’t look at wick and actually acknowledge him as sedgewick sable ; instead this is a being, something vague and metaphorical, who threatens to upseat rocky’s permanence in the lackadaisy and steal away his savior, and he’s had a hand in the violinist’s misfortune for a long time.
obviously, rocky doesn’t think wick robbed him of his family twice over and made him homeless, but he is channeling the fear and anguish of those events into his loathing for wick, if that makes sense? it’s easier that way -- to finally have an outlet for everything bleeding inside of you, to be able to bite and claw at something without feeling conflicted or having to take personal accountability for your own mistakes … which is something that i think rocky does struggle with to a degree. he is sort of a finger pointer! his pain has to be worth something, it has to be for someone else ; spending years homeless and losing his last bit of family was for freckle, and the scrambling of his literal brain was for mitzi, and that means he can’t ever be angry with them! well, except that he is, somewhat, but he buries it deep down instead of feeling it. with freckle there is a sense of strain between them -- an air of ‘you owe me’ from rocky to freckle as he uses freckle to appease miss m, and he constantly pokes fun at his cousin too. it’s lighter than his jabs at wick, but there’s a constant pestering, a reminder of how good freckle has it : how he’s got the mom and the house and the job and the girl most notably. i don’t think rocky is intending to come across as mean, and to his credit he hardly does! but it’s rather clear to me that some part of him, some hidden and deeply hurt part, is rather indignant about taking the fall for freckle all those years ago. which he can’t understand, because how could he? he made that choice, he decided to take accountability for something he didn’t do because he loves freckle and knows it’d be so easy to believe this family tragedy was roark’s fault ; the devilish child he was, all troublesome and too broken to properly fit anywhere. so there is a disconnect born here, where rocky can’t comprehend that he’d be angry at freckle, so instead these not so great feelings are placed elsewhere and silently boil over time. and with mitzi … i don’t think he’s angry at her per se, but there is a frustrated and desperate chorus of : why him and why not me, when i’m the one out here dying for you? which is certainly unpleasant. of course, rather than allowing those feelings to be more aimed at miss m, whom he feels unloved by, he ( again! ) represses these emotions and allows them to fester into his greatest fears and fantastical complexes. i think there is a lot of other miscellaneous anger he could have towards others too … perhaps some part of him is sore upon seeing ivy’s normal lifestyle, watching her go to university and knowing that’s been taken from him. or an ache felt when hearing stories from zib and the band and how they used to travel successfully, living as nomads, and rocky is all too reminded of his similar lifestyle and how he couldn’t make it work as effortlessly. people with immense trauma are more prone to irrational anger and jealousy, to viewing everything around them as unfair and believing it’s even more unjust that so many people get to live comfortably while they’ve suffered. a situation that gets more messy when you’re someone like rocky, a man who’s willingly made choices that have harmed himself and wants to continue on with his smiling, bumbling fool of an act. he does not want to be angry, does not want to see it within himself, i think, which leads to an accidental increase of it.
all of this is to reiterate that wick is a scapegoat for rocky and nothing more. it’s why he’s rather hypocritical whenever it concerns the man. for example, it was stated by tracy that he looks down upon wick for his excessive presence at the bar, yet he appears to enjoy hanging out with zib -- who drinks just as often! he makes fun of how all wick ever talks about is rocks, when he himself is prone to poetry rambles that people find irritating or boring, and etc etc. this is also just a human nature thing, to critique someone you heavily dislike and even going as far as to belittle things you love or do in your own day to day because you just hate them that bad! but given rocky’s willingness to befriend anyone, it more so reeks of a dehumanization element. wick is every obstacle in his way, every divine force that threatens to send him packing again, so he is equal parts unnerved by wick’s presence and angry about it. it is mostly a fear response we are seeing, an emotion that’s morphed into long held resentment and anger. so his actions are extremely defensive, with him trying to push wick far away and keep him and mitzi separate, like some sort of animal attempting to ward off a threat that’s come too close to their home. despite the loaded animosity there, this hate has hardly reached its peak … but it shall only grow more intense as things continue onward i’m afraid, since as it stands ( in the comic at least ) rocky is at an all time low … and is ten times more desperate. i’d honestly say wick has become so warped in his mind’s eye that he can only strive towards ‘winning’ over the other man, because that’s all he can see anymore. i think mitzi implying that wick willingly helped her out, the intense head injury, and rocky’s fragile emotional state is exactly what pushes him towards premeditated murder in look-see. i don’t know how people perceive that arc, but to me it’s very clear that rocky actively sought to see the deaths of wes and fish that night. going as far as to lament that he’d be, “very disappointed if ( he ) dreamed them,” and purposefully luring the marigold duo away to have freckle pick them off. while you could argue that this was a smart move, in a gangster sort of sense, there’s still no denying that rocky is oddly chipper about the whole thing and is now seeking death out ; whereas before his methods of vengeance were just, well, ruining people’s livelihood but ultimately leaving them alive. this isn’t to discredit the fact that rocky is going through something! he is in a very muddled and dark place, mentally and physically, but even tracy has said that the head injury hasn’t changed rocky’s personality -- it’s only brought things to the surface.
source : q&a with tracy .
which, yeah! makes sense! head trauma can cause a person to become a wreck emotionally ( think mood swings, irritability, etc ) but it doesn’t completely morph someone either. personality changes may occur, but it’s not like you’re being rewritten entirely, you know? and given tracy’s old statement, it’s clear that ‘personality changes’ aren’t a side effect he’s suffering from. something that adds to my beginning statement, which is that rocky is a deeply angry and troubled person, more so than fans give him any credit for.
however, to touch upon your mini opinion about these two, i actually wholeheartedly agree that rocky and wick could become friends if circumstances were different. they do in fact have many superficial similarities, but one of the more prominent things they deeply share is never really belonging in the groups they frequent. this is more overt with rocky’s character, yet wick faces it too in subtle ways. the well-to-do crowd, seen through the investors, find the gentleman to be lacking in about every place imaginable ; to them he is an obsessive freak who cares too deeply for meager rocks, something they constantly mock him for, while he’s also being noticeably set apart from the rest of them … he seems younger than the investors, more excitable, passionate, and a little less experienced, and doesn’t seem to care for money or reputation as much as them either. there is a constant rubbing between him and them, where what he enjoys is seen as wrong, such as his love for the lackadaisy and his choice in paramor, a grieving widow with extremely dangerous ties. we also know that wick doesn’t have many friends at all, with the only two he has being lacy and church ( church is listed as such on his character profile, in a sort of tongue-in-cheek way ), both of whom work for or with him. they are obliged to hang around, and while they care in varying ways, they are prone to judging him just as much. honestly, it’s not shocking that wick seeks refuge at his chosen speakeasy! but even there he is rather distant from everyone else. he doesn’t speak to zib ever in the comics, nor seems all too close with viktor, ivy, or horatio … it is merely mitzi he is close to, even if he knows of the other people who work there. and, once again, wick very obviously doesn’t fit in. he is not gangster material, could never be an atlas may replacement, much less someone who could get his paws dirty in such an active way. so he has his feet in two different worlds and doesn’t know how to fit into either of them, or which one he actually wants to fit into more. i think in many ways rocky could relate -- these are two very lonely people who wish to belong somewhere and be accepted by some group or another but go about it in all the wrong ways. wick, who is too hesitant to fully commit to what he wants and is worse off for it, and then rocky, who obsessively throws himself against what he wants until he breaks every bone in his body. they also have explosives to bond over, lol, and other miscellaneous things like their taste in women i suppose … but this potential bond adds to the tragedy of lackadaisy, where we see two people who on every level should get along but we’re burdened with the knowledge that it’s an impossibility anyway, because there’s no removing the circumstance of which they’re in.
though i like to believe that despite wick’s fear of rocky, he maintains a kindness towards him regardless. i think his worries about rocky are rather surface level … he doesn’t know the boy at all, really, and thus can’t make heads or tails of him, hence him believing the lie in balderdash. so when i’m feeling particularly self indulgent, i like imagining a world where they’re forced together and sort of ‘stuck’ together ; to which rocky finally breaks and exposes his wounds to wick, in every sense of the word, and wick finally gets him. the aggression, the possessiveness of mitzi … it is all fear and desperation and a profound sadness, things he’d sympathize with. if rocky was able to explain that he loathes wick because if he saves the lackadaisy then mitzi won’t need him anymore and that it’s not fair that wick gets to so easily fix things when rocky would give his soul for his home, for her, and how wick could render every sacrifice he’s already made for naught by smoothing things over with some greenbacks and he can’t lose this, he just can’t --! … which, well, wick is too kind of a man to be able to do anything except feel awful, even though it’s not his fault at all. here we have two people who could coexist! and they should, since rocky logically can’t do every speakeasy job ( band member, rumrunner, mitzi’s shadow, also the guy who gets the money for the hooch ) by himself, just like how wick can’t save the lackadaisy with only his cash and limited booze stash. it’d be a joint cooperation, a collaboration between them, both equally important in the grand scheme of crime’s every turning wheel … but rocky’s rage and fear won’t let him see that, and likely never will. still, in scenarios where everything ends up alright for the lackadaisy and the people involved in it ( which is not how canon will go, by the way ), i fancy wick and rocky getting better within their relationship. rocky will always be prickly and quick to upset around the other man sadly, but perhaps he could see wick in a softer kind of light. or at least understand vaguely enough that he isn’t out to get rocky, so to speak. and then maybe wick learns that pancakes soothe rocky’s ire and poorly makes them anytime he wishes to talk to the man, and other fun things like that! but you should have more confidence in your character analysis skills, because you were spot on ( at least in my eyes ) about them potentially getting along if things were different. it’s certainly a fun aspect to play around with, and is important to note when discussing their relationship so you can fully understand just how warped rocky’s perspective on things are. and how unstable and traumatized he is too, of course </3 sidenote, but i also hope that throughout everything i’ve said here, or anything i’ve said before on my blog, that my love for rocky and my own sympathy for him comes across well enough. while he’s deeply flawed and i have no qualms discussing said flaws in depth, i also don’t think of him as some insane freak who’s evil at his core or anything like that. honestly, i adore analyzing him so much as a character because of how far down his issues go! he’s very well written, i’ll say, as is wick and many of the other characters, but i digress.
once more, thank you for the ask! i’ll end this here because i fear if i don’t i’ll start going in circles, since their relationship is so vast and very important for rocky in a character sense. hopefully i shed some more light on it though! i love these two to bits and pieces and i wouldn’t be half as invested in lackadaisy if their dynamic wasn’t so monumental -- at least to me.
#my asks.#lackadaisy analysis.#lackadaisy#rocky rickaby#sedgewick sable#tracy j butler#i also think rocky’s sudden taste for marigold blood is him making marigold his other scapegoat#he isn’t dealing with anything in a healthy manner and is so traumatized it’s starting to spill out of him … which is. uh. not good!!#but it sure is what’s currently happening regardless#cannot stress enough that rock is a very ill and traumatized individual who hasn’t had a single break in his life#he is constantly in stressful situations that are dangerous … and like.#when you’re constantly put in those situations you become numb. and angry. and it becomes hard to heal#or to truly connect to others … etc#i could talk in depth about rocky’s traumas and why they’ve caused this anger issue and this inner disharmony inside#because frankly there’s a lot there! and i hate to say it but people who are hurt normally show their hurt in ugly ways#especially if mentally ill … which rocky is imo#it’s just the reality of things! this isn’t me demonizing mental illness or the effects of trauma. i’m just being realistic here#someone as deeply troubled as rocky ( someone with NO outlet and whom hides his feelings from others and himself )#is bound to be. well. troubled!! his smiling facade is merely another mask he wears to cope and to be good for the people he loves#it is not … really rocky rickaby … rocky rickaby is that and the wrath and the self destruction and more#AHEM but i digress. how rocky treats wick and all that has really done wonders for understanding his character#and i truly love the wick / rocky / mitzi trio so bad. their relationships with each other is what drew me into this world#like. i am shaking them so much. the overlap!! the complexities inherit in their bonds and what that says about the individual characters!#it’s amazing truly lol like … i have had such fun thinking about them twenty four seven for the past three-ish months#anyway. anyway! i love analyzing these bitches. they can fit so much into them#and i’m rooting for wickmitzi endgame and for wick to desperately try to bond with rocky … while his bloodshot eye is twitching as we speak#lots of fun!!! lots of pain and agony too … rocky is nothing but a painful character alas. that is his nature. but that is also his appeal#and ooops i’ll shut up in the tags now i just. have a lot to say. and a lotta love to give to these two!! but uh. yeah <3 loved writing thi
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🍇💘 happy rural dionysia! 💘🍇
This is my altar for today! Theres a candle for Dionysus in the middle (back), bracelet I made for him on the left, fluorite hearts carving on the right, and a peen shaped cookie in the middle (front)
As for dionysia activities, today I’ve prayed to him and accidentally fell asleep, made sugar cookies (with vanilla frosting & sprinkles), read hymns, prayed again, and now I’m probably gonna play some video games and maybe later watch a movie :3
#I like that my celebration has been kinda more laidback#especially bc I have some mystery ailment that’s causing me much pain and discomfort#so I’ve been able to do most of these things from my bed lol#my devotion is serious but also I’m a silly lil guy and also I’m in pain#dionysus#dionysus devotee#rural dionysia#country dionysia#festivals#hellenic polytheism#hellenic polythiest#hellenic pagan#my altar#jay says stuff#forgot to mention I painted my nails last night in honor of him for dionysia early cuz I didn’t want to do too much today lol
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This is one of many posts I have planned on electricity. For this post specifically, I’m touching on the lack of autonomy the puppets have, and the unhealthy coping mechanisms and regression they fall into. If you listen closely, duck and red are talking about stain edwards, specifically how they had been used as a replacement for duck, in the background while yellow is preparing to climb the staircase. Considering the bigger boys actions later on in the episode, this feels more significant than just a joke or a piece of background dialogue (it probably is, just bear with me for the sake of over analysis). It’s a detail I don’t see brought up often, but an interesting one nonetheless. Not just because it’s funny, but because it serves as insight for what’s to come. This conversation is barely audible as yellow stares up into the black abyss above him. A divide between the trio is set up here, they are not on the same page. As yellow scales the staircase, base level red and duck fiddle with electricity. Theres a lack of care for the objects, or even living things around them showcasing that have that potential to do worse like the big and bigger boys. On a smaller scale, yes, but there’s a colder quality to the scene. Electracy warns them that what they’re doing is too much, but they are ignored. This ultimately leads to the power outage, spurred on by the two’s reckless over usage of electricity
The limited use of technology, and by contrast overconsumption is intentional, as it showcases a real lack of freedom. The puppets are stuck in a cycle regardless of what they do. They desperately want to feel in control of something even if it’s trivial. When they’re not doing that, the trio find themselves waiting for things like having access to a computer once a year. It’s worth noting that Colin is an older model of computer, as is pretty much every other piece of technology in the house. Interestingly, the trio do actually own a laptop, which is a lot more modern in appearance. They are never seen doing anything with it however. The few things that do take on a more modern appearance are either unusable or serve as a distraction. So the choice of duck having a hand held device in the void feels significant. It’s almost like a reminder to the audience that in theory, knowledge is right outside of their grip but they will never have it. Everything they do is limited.
The fridge scene is a rare moment where we see the puppets speak their genuine feelings, no strings attached. Not at all one sided or hollow. Duck and Red sit beside each other in the fridge scene knowing this is not something they’re allowed to have, but you can tell they want to scoot closer. They live in an unforgiving routine where the mere act of looking at each other feels like rebellion. They’re something more tangible and warm than their bigger counterparts, even if through skin made of cheap felt and faux fur. Compare this to the cold emptiness of the big and bigger boys and how duck and red seem to grow further apart despite always being paired together. Even if they’re sitting at a similar length in both rooms, the bigger boys seem to be magnetically pulled apart rather than together. The big boys sit side by side with their limbs tangled, in defiance maybe, but they don’t question their environment anymore and the walls have gotten smaller. The bigger boys live in a pseudo- futuristic prison. They have become the technology seen being fiddled with before. They play into each other’s antics, but lack any real emotion which greatly upsets yellow once he comes across them. He watches as they poke and prod at a suspiciously stain edwards shaped hunk of meat as their only source of entertainment, thinking that this is as good as it gets. Technology prodding at flesh. A parallel between Stain Edwards and the puppets can be drawn here.
Stain Edwards, in their initial appearance clearly craves more in life, but their sole purpose is to be moldable, to be shaped into anything the hands that grasp them want them to be. The trio are the same way, though they don’t know it. They’re obviously not aware of their true situation, but each of them have their own level of awareness, albeit in different areas, but that’s a different post for a different time. Red and duck comply and mold to their environments out of fear, a fear of losing that false sense of control. So, the bigger boys become the perpetrators of violence. They let bitterness consume them until they’re unrecognizable. Their egos get the better of them, fully encompassing them and leaving nothing but mechanical empty husks behind. Red and Duck are tricked into believing they’re in control, when in reality they’ve dug themselves into an even deeper hole than before. They expect yellow to join them, as this is just the way things are, and this horrifies him. Here before him are creatures that sound vaguely like his friends but in a completely unrecognizable form. Ultimately, no matter what form they take on, yellow’s urge to search for answers will always scare them. Yellow’s batteries means change, and change means bad things will happen. No more false sense of control. Yellow literally has his awareness stolen from him time and time again through his batteries. Without them, not only can’t he properly articulate himself, but he also can’t remember what happened before.
Yellow loves his friends, he knows that they’re flawed, and he can’t help but scale back down the staircase time and time again to help them. They’re all he has. He knows that they’re smart to an extent, but is that enough? Will they be able to handle it this time? I think he knows the answer to this already, though he desperately wants it not to be true. He knows that it’s not their fault that they get like this, but also maybe it is. Because truthfully the two like to let it get worse. Yellow sees the good in Duck and red and he wants them to do better, even if his efforts are in vain. Because the puppets do not have autonomy. He shreds the book because he can’t bear a reality where his friends don’t love him, but also because that’s where his strings are pulling him to begin with. He looks to duck as he does so knowing it will make him happy, as if to say he’s not wrong anymore. All he ever wants is to please him. Truthfully, that book had nothing that could truly help them , as such a thing doesn’t exist. Still there’s that small thought in the back of his mind that it could, and ultimately he chooses his friends over knowledge every time. It was never his choice to begin with. It was inevitably going to end this way, and a small part of yellow knows that, even if he can’t express it. The puppets are prisoners here, prisoners to another prisoner. She too participates in the same routines everyday, she too has strings that hold her back, but that’s a post for another day.
#dhmis#dhmis analysis#yellow guy dhmis#red guy dhmis#duck dhmis#fluffybird#i have so many drafts that i have to finish LOL#like SO many#over thirty to be exact….#anyways forcing myself to post one because autistic burnout is killing me right now.#this isn’t super organized but i don’t really care.#i have at least ten drafts about electricity specifically right now so expect more soon.#anyways here’s my contribution for today#red and duck being disgustingly npd coded (me coded)#its like actually painful to watch#literally just a mirror image#they make each other so much worse LMFAO#gonna try to make these posts a regular thing#as like an early new years resolution#i’m gonna have a lot more time after this semester because i’m taking one off for my mental health#so expect more in the future.#ignore the messy autistic burnout format of this post
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