#ok I need to get this off my chest
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#tw sh#tw self harm#I have nowhere else to vent ignore me#if I don’t type this out I’ll kill mhself#I have had two self harm relapses since yesterday#to quote Lana I’ve been chopping it up#I’m in so much pain lol#emotionally k mean#I guess physically too but#tw suicide mention#venting#I keep wondering literally why I don’t just finally do it#I fuck up everything I fucked up my entire life#hurting myself is the only way I know how to cope#and it’s what I feel I deserve#anyway shoutout to the adult bitches who still remember how to wrestle blades out of razors to ruin their thighs#it didn’t help but#ok I need to get this off my chest#trigger warning#trigger warning self harm#hate being one of those mfers that constantly thinks about ending it but isn’t brave enough#this is not election related lol
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somewhere nowhere
#ill make something better later#metalhiro arts#arcane#arcane fanart#viktor arcane#viktor league of legends#jayce talis#jayce arcane#jayce league of legends#jayvik#jayce x viktor#viktor#jayce#i just needed to get this off my chest ok? ok#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2#arcane season 2 act 3
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sorry these kinds of comments have been really pissing me off recently lol
#it's been kinda hard for me to pinpoint WHY exactly these sort of comments feel insulting#but i think it's mostly because it implies my original work is purposefully and inherently derivative of things i have no connection to#while i think being derivative in art is. kinda unavoidable in a sense (and something i'm aware i do consciously and unconsciously)#it feels like a slap in the face when people imply that my work cannot hold its own merit and need to be compared to#something in the popular conscious#and like sometimes people don't know it's original art which is fine#but it also doesn't hurt to ask if it's original instead of just. immediately assuming or comparing it to something else#i know this will only get more difficult as i continue to drift away from fanart and fan works#but i really want to be able to be proud of my original work and i want to share more! because it's a part of me!!#but its really hard when it feels like i'm always going to be compared to things people care about more!!!! AAAUGH#god. ok sorry i need to get that off my chest. if anyone compares computer angel to TMA again im gonna start eating drywall#fern's sketchbook
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It’s horrible how my design course has killed my enjoyment in creativity because all they want is finished pieces founded in nothing but a spontaneous mark just to hang at some concrete art gallery or to sell to some “join our revolution” comfy business-casual company with a prison cell wellness room. I’m not saying that it’s “not art” —cos that’s a different post altogether— it’s that the ethos behind this particular formula for art education is ruining the way we think about creation.
Design courses (and other art courses I’ve heard?) are no longer teaching artists or designers techniques, drawing skills, art fundamentals and allowing them to find their own voice so much as they are only instructing how to tic boxes alongside pushing corporate and classist motivated style/methodology bias aimed at producing workers, not creatives, not to mention providing Adobe with endless funds for their despicable scam programs. That’s it. My creativity is only a means to money for them, and if they can extract the process of creation from me without the complex creative intimacy involved in it, they know they can churn out products and services faster and it’s concerning some lecturers don’t seem to be aware this is what they’re teaching? Like they’re buying into industry propaganda?
And the whole time it’s sold to you like you can be some trailblazer when the irony is they’re usually either prepping you for cubicle work or for some misguided high horse creative team pumping out design solutions completely divorced from the reality. I’m tired of all the talks about sustainability in a vacuum with no conversation about nuanced designs that factor in broader social and economic perspectives which lack thereof is leading to sustainable products being sold at a price only able to be afforded by wealthier people who are causing said economic and social problems and contributing to the rapid obsoletion of trades and crafts. Lecturers and speakers don’t seem to think that’s any of our concern and should just worry about producing the design for the hypothetical Bluetooth powered organic hairbrush or using the twigs to make the pattern for the £85 fabric square.
Like? Can I please make something that actually resonates with people outside the circle jerk of egotistical creatives and corporations? Something charming and maybe idk something that doesn’t make me want to tear my miserable portfolio in half with my teeth? And they’re like Mm nope sorry it has to be an extreme close up of a mark making abstract leaf you made from a recycled trash bag inspired by a stalled urban space which we will force you to price at £100 during your exhibition 5 people will bother to attend and no you’re not allowed any other style cos this isn’t the Dark Ages :///
I think the worst thing my lecturer ever said was, while looking around the room of our class work reduced down to a series of cubes and splatters and abstract typography, “Wow, I love how you can’t tell what anyone’s [main artist discipline] is!” Like awww conformity at the expense of a person’s individuality to make pieces for airport hallways and rich people’s living rooms wow so cool heehee like girl that’s not good?? Why on Earth are you complimenting us for that? Like I get it, I thought this course would boost skillset as an illustrator (as we were told), turns out the degree is really not for me, fair enough to anyone thinking that, but forcing students to produce modern abstract art because you think it’s the ONLY Logical Pathway for the future of design, judging them intensely for doing a different style, and thinking producing financially inaccessible art + design is the solution to things like climate change and community severance is an objectively bad take.
#needed to get that off my chest it’s been sitting in my drafts and it’s still true#genuinely hate just about everything I’ve produced on this course#like illustration as a course was fine#this one is just depressing#had to almost completely reinvent my art after first year cos this Forced Style threw me off so bad#I am Scared for the future of creativity in academia#wrote a 10000 word essay (for fun) about why the corporate bullshit is contributing to the downfall of art#so needless to say I have my dissertation for my honours already#ok to rb#illustration#design
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Ok but imagine Loki seeing you in distress, & the first thing he does is goes in to full protective mode.
For one, the poor soul who decided to hurt you will never see it coming. Loki is not a fighter who acts on emotion alone, but also on whit & brain. He uses manipulation tactics, causing the attacker to drop down his guard before the God plunges like a viper towards his prey.
The fight ended before it even began.
Shadow-play is something Loki does not use often, but in dire circumstances. Seeing you sprawled upon the ground with pools of blood surrounding you awakens something deep within him. A monster, that should never be UNLEASHED.
The shadows of his form appear to be of an ancient version of himself, holding onto the victim by his arms against the coolness of the concrete wall. It frightens you to see such power that was hidden beneath a nonchalant facade.
Now, the old Norse Gods see his potential.
' Oh come now, FRIGHTENED so soon ? '
He's toying with him, the attacker's face a pale ghostly expression as he tugs with fever. There's no way out of this, no way for him to hide and scramble to safety. You almost feel sorry for him, however the cut above your lip reminds you of what he deserves.
' And here I thought the little mouse would at least attempt to fight back. Pity. '
Loki edges forward with both intricate knives tossing in his hands skillfully, his gaze narrowing with each slow step he takes. One of his blades runs teasingly along the other's bobbing neck from the adrenaline, not in a satisfying manner but that of pure wicked intent.
' .... - You should have not HURT them ... '
Was there sadness in his voice? Each syllable that escaped his lips drew a drop of blood down the man's skin, tears running down his face as he profusely apologizes for his attack.
But it's too late for that now.
You gaze towards them with pure awe, for such power does not go unchecked so easily. A gasp emits from your chapped lips as you notice a swirl of emerald green surrounding them both, shielding you to witness Loki's true advances. He doesn't want you to see him like this, like a MONSTER.
& all you can hear, are the guttural sounds of true fear.
#loki x reader#x reader#gn reader#loki x gn reader#x gn reader#i needed to get this off my chest#i just love protective loki ok#mischieffaewrites
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dis a wip.. anyway- u cannot tell me this mans has a six pack after a massive heart break and a year in his tower bro... he is soft,,,
says he isnt father material.. u can have a dad bod instead ig
#bg3 gale#bg3#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#baldur's gate 3 gale#my art#okbut listen ok#this is absolutely my self indulgance#HE S SO MUCH CUTER LIKE THIS BRO TELL ME IM WRONG#DSJDLFKJD IM NOT PROUD OF THE SKETCH BUT I NEED TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST#I LOVE HIM#baldurs gate 3
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OK LMAOSOOD LAST THING IM ACTUALLY GONNA SAY ON THIS
he is a grown man he did bad and suffered the consequences like????
but making a joke about it is suddenly tone deaf and hurting him like what??? DO YOU HEAR URSELF DON’T YOU FEEL EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BIT DELUSIONAL????
i would get the tone deaf comments if he actually hurt any one or himself which he did NOT
and the hurting him comments are insane cuz he quite literally did that to himself. yoongi a GROWN MAN btw with a lot of influence and power decided to drive a scooter drunk. now he’s suffering the consequences of his own actions
it’s a stupid situation and stupid thing that he did so i made a stupid joke
yoongi is not crying cuz people are making jokes about it the only reason he would (if he is) is cuz it’s making him look bad as an artist and it’s fucking embarrassing but again THAT IS ON HIM
you shouldn’t feel the need to defend ANY of the boys if they’re so clearly in the wrong it’s really insane and crazy that some of you feel like you do. you ARE allowed to poke fun at them and critique them (within reason) i promise you they’re not loosing sleep over it
#ok needed to get that off my chest#yoongi still the loml tho#like hehehehe#i promise no more talk about this
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In case you hadn't heard, vampiric femmes (me) are starving for the blood of werewolf butches and studs. The moment I- fuck I mean these femmes get their claws on these wolves it's so fucking over.
#give me your fucking blood#i want to take a bite out of you#teeth to skin soothes the beast within#im in a weird mood if you couldn't tell#bb speaks#will add pretty tags later#needed to get that off my chest#lesbian#nblw#wlw#lesbian nsft#i suppose idk how graphic this is on the nsf scale lol#nblnb#wlw nsft#raaaah ok bye
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Uhhhhhh... Whoops....
(vent art perhaps. but also day 7. I'm on that grind)
#razzleanddazzle1fan#dandys world fanart#dw#fanart#dandys world#dw vee#vee#vee dandys world#GUYS. IM OK.#I JUST NEEDED TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST.#no mr snail. that means you should NOT tell my mom. or whatever you did last time.#i don't need them worrying more.#uhhhhhhgghhhh...#vent maybe#idk
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Not to be passive aggressive or anything (/gen) but I think that the people who complain about aroace people posting under the aromantic tag need to learn a little something called Block Them And Move On With Your Life. "Oh but they're cluttering the tag by talking about asexuality---" literally just block them and don't interact. Tumblr is a self-curated experience, if you don't like what you're seeing then do something about it besides being a dick. Aromantism and asexuality are inherently going to have incredibly interconnected experiences since they're both defined by a lack of attraction (especially in a society where romantic and sexual attraction are often lumped together anyways), so there's no point trying to gatekeep by categorizing someone else's account into one or the other.
#sorry i don't want to spread more bad vibes i just needed to get that off my chest#the world would truly be a better place if people just learned to mind their business#i haven't seen people be judgy like thie *too* often but it's often enough that it's genuinely annoying#whatever#i wish all aroaces a lovely day!#obviously i'm not the spokesperson for all of aromantism but if someone has ever made you feel bad about being aro just because you're also#ace then you deserve an apology (and a hug or chocolate or something else nice too) bc they were just being an asshole for no reason#ok stepping off my soapbox now 👍👍#aromantic#aroace#asexual#hestia's yapping tag
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#i just need to vent abt this ok pls don’t yell at me or tell me im being ungrateful#but tfw u have almost 500 asks sitting in ur inbox and u literally don’t know what to do with them😀#the guilt that eats away at me because im not getting to what people say to me gets so bad sometimes#like you guys all have such great things to say and i want to be able to respond but there’s just such a large volume i get overwhelmed#and ive been so busy lately they’ve piled up bad#and ive even been missing ones from mutuals which i feel so bad about#im so sorry guys i really am like pls don’t abandon me im sorry ANDJJJSJ#and i just like. esp my regular anons i feel bad because i don’t mean to ignore you but stuff just gets lost#and the worst part is that if im spending hours on asks then im not writing fic#and im so behind on fic too#so. im not excelling in anything currently msdnskdjskdjskdjskdksks#el oh el#sorry i just needed that off my chest#i love u guys i appreciate you all seriously#delete later#🙏🙏🙏
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#sorry ignore this it’s post-election venting.#like just completely unproductive doomerism I need to get off my chest#ok real talk I have been feeling so hopeless and dead and depressed since the election.#I hate this country and I don’t think it can be fixed. not meaningfully in my lifetime.#I think I need to leave this place but im not financially able and im a transmasc person in a red state#with unsupportive parents.#I’ve given up hope on the idea that ‘ppl here are generally good and just misled into voting for the worse of the 2 evils’ and know just#feel these people are subhumanly stupid. beyond saving. no hope. they are voids. cesspits. empty headed useless ontologically evil braindead#soulless husks. it is useless to try to reason with them or inform them or convince them of anything. they are lost causes. it’s better#to leave this country while they rot in the dying empire They chose to make this bad.#they Want this. they Want fascism. they don’t care about other ppl#they are individualism poisoned Americans with no interest in a better future.#I hate them. I hate Americans. I hate my family. I hate my community.#none of it is worth fighting for anymore. they are lost causes.#the best course of action is to leave. but I can’t so im stuck with these fucking useless morons#so until then I have to rot with them. im stuck in this fucking tar pit of a country#with these fucking tar pits of ppl#illiterate fucking rednecks and functional alcoholic suburbanites. the fucking moldy white bread of humanity#I hope we all die. we deserve this.#useless fucking dnc allergic to winning.#barely coherent braindead voterbase. useless fucking male loneliness truther incels#the world would be better off if this country was fucking nuked off the map.#sorry silly fandom mutuals for being a whiny american. but things r materially going 2 get so much worse for me and my friends next year#project 2025 is terrifying and trump wants to put tariffs on everything which is going to cause prices of everything 2 skyrocket even more#and just knowing ppl are reveling in the ‘liberal tears’ aka ppl being upset that their lives r about 2 get worse makes my skin crawl#and makes me nauseous. these ppl are not human#they don’t care about Palestine they don’t care about Ukraine they don’t care about Sudan#and they don’t care about trans ppl gay ppl any racial minorities#some of them Are racial minorities and want 2 separate themselves from the ‘bad ones’#im just fucking disgusted by the ppl here voting against their own interests bc they r fucking dumb and misinformed.
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something something why is it always the art I’m least proud of that gets the most notes
#Like#NOOOO THAT DOESNT LOOK GOOD ITS NOT A GOOD EXAMPLE OF MY WORK#E.g. this absolutely hideous sketch (it’s so messsyyyy) abt the recent Lu update#And also my most recent thing which I honestly hate#Except for the last panel#Idk#I might just have different taste or smth lol#I’m also going through a slight “I hate my art” phase rn so there’s that#Ok I’ll leave#Evie rambles#the notes I leave on tumblr posts are a often little bit much I am afraid#But I needed to get it off my chest lol
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the lord is going to need to send me four different blessings to balance out the way this week is going 😍 like one is not enough brother
#lee’s bullshit#phone call yesterday on the toilet BAM “you need to pick your grandfather up from the hospital tmrw”#”bc he passed out mysteriously and has to stay overnight” terrifying! thanks! I’m still on the toilet!#haven’t even gotten off the toilet#”you also need to contact your insane ex and tell her she DOES have to keep paying rent which she will obviously receive well”#cool !! I’m so pumped to hear that !! I’m still mid shit can we resume this in two minutes please.#done with shit!#”yeah idk why she expects this did YOU tell her something to make her believe that?” probably ! I wanted her gone and hated her guts!#”well you need to tell her now” she’s going to love that !!!#roommates come home#”yeah the discussion w our friend who’s losing her shit went (predictably) badly and now we’re all upset again” so cool ! Awesome!#”she also wants a specific apology from you” I could not care less I think she’s so full of shit for all of this I’m done. No.#pick up grandfather today (he’s doing ok thank god j dehydrated from the flu)#get him home have violent indigestion#Visit other grandparents while I’m in town#”your aunt is in extended rehab rn for addiction” sooooo cool ok awesome !! Great!#back home now having violent chest pain !! Probably stress induced but who knows.#anyway at least the double side family addictive personality trend enforces my decision to never touch alcohol !!#what a fun weekend. Can’t wait to work all day tmrw. Jesus fuck.#anyway whatever I’m tired I’m going to watch tv or something
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5x13 / 4x13 / 4x10 / CRAFT AND VISION, Carl Phillips / H OF H PLAYBOOK, Anne Carson
#justified#raylan givens#web weaving#this is about being trapped in the outlaw narrative. ok bye 👍#but is he really trapped if he keeps running into it. that is the question#because yeah he's trapped in a narrative but he's doing the opposite of what tim is doing#he's refusing to embrace the dark thing inside of him. he's separating himself from his past and the past of his father and in doing so#he's backing into his own narrative#meanwhile tim KNOWS that there is something very dark inside of him. something that he can do Exceptionally well.#and in joining the marshals service. he ensures that he would do no harm to anyone who wasn't an established enemy#and focus on the established enemy part. tim can kill anything if it can bleed. he would have killed his father. he needs a leash.#and that's what the usms gives him#tim gutterson web weave when#anyways. i need to get this off my chest. HE'S WALKING BACKWARDS INTO HIS OWN MYTH. HE WAS TRYING TO WALK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#flashing tw
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Ok but like... tell me why you would go to an Anthony Green solo show just cause you like MCR - a band that he is not in - and then fucking snicker at everything 😐 I was legit so uncomfortable when I got there because I thought everyone hated me, but it was really just that the people around me were being mean. The only genuine reaction they had was when he played "2022," so I feel like I figured out why they were there, but... why not just go to see Dunes?
Also like. Don't be fucking giggling when a performer says shit like "I wrote this when I was addicted to heroin." What the fuck? 🙃 Who do you think you are?
#for the record almost everyone there was awesome#but these girls were making faces at me and shit#i swear i felt like i was back in high school#and then they were... making fun of the headliner?? like what???#sorry frank's not here bc it's not his show surprise!#gonna slightly gatekeep anthony now /j#*sigh* ok i just need to get it off my chest but i'm also kinda scared of them lol#drug use tw#my show
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