#I’m hiding like a child in my own dorm- I’m hours away from my parents and feel like this over a joke my mom made

[cosmo-spams]

I feel very stuck rn

[messers-moony]

Nothing Left | R.B

Paring: Regulus Black X Wife!Gryffindor!Reader

Summary: Everything crashes within seconds and Sirius doesn’t know where to go. 

Everything went downhill so fucking fast. How was that even possible? Everything was perfectly fine a year ago, but it seems that within that year, everything had collapsed onto the helpless boy. It was like being beneath a crumbling concrete tower that fell with no warning. Like being slapped in the face unexpectedly. Like getting doused in freezing water on a Sunday morning. 

In retrospect, it sucked. 

Sirius Black would know first hand. His entire life had been a screw-up from the beginning. It started with his parents, who - at the start - loved him. But when he turned out to be the child they never wanted all that love had vanished. They tortured him, broke him piece by piece, they built up trauma that took years for him to express to his friends. It wasn’t until third year when they heard him crying alone in his four-poster bed and asked what was wrong. He could remember the comforting embrace James Potter had given him. 

Nevertheless, it never ended there. The summer going into his sixth year, Sirius decided it was enough after too many Cruciatus Curses and body binding curses; enough was enough. His hands were trembling after enduring just ten minutes of the torture curse, and it was a struggle, but he packed everything he could. His heart broke at inevitably leaving his little brother behind. He could only hope that Regulus would understand. 

It took a Knight Bus trip to the Potter residence in Godric’s Hollow. The sky could’ve resembled how Sirius felt. Back at Grimmauld Place Twelve, the sky was always cloudy and rainy. Godric’s Hollow allowed the sun to shine past the fluffy clouds, but tonight was different. The sky was dark and thick, black clouds covered the stars. Rain poured from them, and it pittered on the stone roads. Sirius was instantly drenched when he stepped off the Knight Bus. 

Hesitantly he made his way to the door, where he knocked softly. The house was two stories and was a relatively big family home - not bigger than Grimmauld Place - but an average family home. The house was a mixture of grey, dark purples, and brown. It reminded Sirius of Remus’ patched jumpers. Sirius could hear movement from behind the plum door, and it opened to reveal a familiar face. James Potter with his messy hair, hazel eyes, and long limbs. James was muscular, but he was also tall, not Remus tall but taller than Sirius. 

James didn’t speak and ushered him inside. The following morning at breakfast, Euphemia - Mrs. Potter - had given Sirius the excellent news of his new forever home. The Potters would never forget the way Sirius lit up and how a smile had taken over his face. Sirius didn’t remember being this happy except for when Regulus was born. 

But his forever home was not forever. 

In seventh year, James’ parents had died, and nobody had comforted Sirius except one person who attempted. James had Lily, and that was enough for him. Perhaps it was selfish to think that James should be comforting him. It was definitely selfish. Sirius was doing really good at hiding how he felt until he crumbled behind a tapestry near the dungeons. 

Sirius didn’t know if it was good or bad luck that Regulus - his prefect Slytherin brother - had found him behind that tapestry. Regulus had pulled back the fabric slowly with his wand lit. His face had softened at his older brother sobbing with his knees to his chest. Regulus allowed his wand light to extinguish before sitting in front of him in the same position, allowing their socks to touch at the tips. 

They sat there for a couple of minutes before Regulus moved closer, albeit hesitantly to sit beside Sirius. Regulus had his back against the concrete, and Sirius curled up onto him while the younger Black brother rubbed his older brother's back. Sirius cried harder and harder. It took an hour before he subdued to sniffles and whimpers, but Regulus took it as his time to speak. 

“I know they meant a lot to you,” Regulus stated, still rubbing his older brothers back, “And I don’t blame you for grieving them.”

Sirius sniffled, “I ought to be grateful for them, really.” Regulus released a sound that sounded like a chuckle, but it was so foreign to Sirius he couldn’t tell, “They kept you safe. Kept you away from mother and father. They gave you a home where you could finally be you.”

“And no matter how mad I want to be at them for taking you away from me,” Regulus admitted, “I just can’t be because they gave you everything you wanted, and I’ve never seen you happier in my life.”

Regulus didn’t stop talking, “You know… I- I found my own James Potter.”

Sirius looked up at Regulus with flushed cheeks, but his facial expression was baffled, and Regulus presented him with a small smile, “Okay, maybe she isn’t my ‘James Potter’ per se because I don’t see her as a sister but rather she’s my girlfriend.”

“What’s- What’s her name?” Sirius croaked; his throat was so raw from crying. 

“Y/n L/n.”

“A- A Gryffindor?”

Regulus made that sound again, “Yeah. A stupidly brave one too. Even worse.”

Sirius smiled, “I know her.”

“Don’t tell me she was one of your conquests.” Regulus grimaced, and Sirius chuckled, snuggling back into Regulus’ chest, “No, she wasn’t. It turns out she has the hots for the other Black brother.”

Regulus smiled, and they allowed the silence of the castle to consume them. It was dark in the corridor on the other side of the tapestry, and Regulus could see the faint moonlight peaking out. He could also imagine the stars glittering beautifully in the midnight sky. He could see the star Sirius shining brighter than ever, and he just wanted his brother to feel the same. 

“I plan to marry her.” Regulus said before he could stop the words from falling from his mouth.

“What happens then?”

“What do you mean?”

“Mother and father will never approve.”

Regulus scoffed, “I’m done with their bullshit and have been for quite a while.”

Sirius met his brother's eyes again, “I left right after you. It turns out there is no more heir to the Black family name.”

The older Black brother smiled brightly and tightened his grip on his younger brother. Regulus couldn’t remember feeling this warm since they were little boys running around the backyard. Sirius was practically on top of him, and that was okay. For now, everything seemed okay again. Maybe Euphemia and Fleamont were gone, but even in their deaths, they managed to benefit Sirius’ life. 

Now it all seemed fruitless. 

Only a couple of months later, Sirius and Regulus had gotten into a huge kerfuffle. It ended with screaming, raw throats, tears, and flushed cheeks. Sirius could remember how Regulus playfully mocked his and Remus’ relationship. He didn’t know exactly what happened, just that he was pouncing for his little brother, and Remus was holding him back. Sirius had yelled some very awful things that he couldn’t take back. 

She hadn’t done anything. She didn’t even know that an argument had happened. Y/n had been reading in the common room when the book was flung out of her hand, and she was pushed against the stone wall of the Gryffindor Tower. Y/n met eyes with stormy grey ones, not unlike her lovers, but these weren’t her lovers. These were his elder brother's eyes, and he had lifted her off the floor against the wall until James had pulled Sirius off her. 

Y/n hit the floor with a thud and repeatedly coughed, hands on her throat. James had stormed into the boy's dormitory with Sirius with him. She didn’t even understand what was happening not until she met up with Regulus in the prefect dorm, and he saw the marks on her neck. Sirius had taken it too far, and Regulus was furious. They were no longer on speaking terms. 

Now Sirius had someone entirely different to grieve. 

Sirius had felt like his heart hit the floor when he was forced to move out of James’ house with Lily due to Harry being born. Remus had moved away to take care of his sick mother and asked for privacy. The funds that had previously been in Sirius’ account had been squandered, and now he was paying the price. 

He had absolutely nowhere to go. Truthfully, there was one place he could go, but he didn’t think he’d ever be accepted there. He had said unforgivable things, but James had given him enough confidence that it would be okay. Reluctantly, Sirius Black took the Knight Bus to the suburbs in London. The community felt so modern and new. It was different then Godric’s Hollow which had been around for so many years that it began to weather and erode. 

The deja vu was hitting him like a brick. Their house was a mixture of grey, black, white, and maybe blue - Sirius couldn’t tell in the darkness if it was white or pale blue. Perhaps he’d find out tomorrow if he was even welcomed inside. Sighing and shivering, Sirius knocked on the door. He could hear little squeals of delight that sounded much like a child. He also heard talking, but he froze when the door opened. 

Regulus Black, at the age of twenty-two, looked good. His hair was to his jaw, and it was wavy at the ends, whereas Sirius’ was much more straight. His eyes had turned silver over the years. His cheeks looked much fuller, and he looked a lot better. Regulus was no longer looked underweight, but he was still slim and skinny. Black family genes, Sirius supposed. Sirius couldn’t meet his brother's eyes. 

“What do you want, Sirius.” 

His name falling from Regulus’ mouth instead of a nickname hurt more than he expected, “I had nowhere else to go…”

Regulus scoffed, “James finally kick you out, eh?”

“Yeah, he did.” Sirius sounded so distant, “Perhaps it was about time, and here I am, at your doorstep.”

“Come on, Sirius.” Regulus motioned for him to come in, and Sirius did. 

The house was much cozier inside. The floors were dark wood, almost black. The living room - on Sirius’ left - was a darker turquoise color with grey furniture. The dining room - on Sirius’ right - was a light grey. The furniture was a marble table, white wood chairs with cushions, and a beautiful light fixture. Regulus led him to the kitchen, which was straight ahead in the hallway. 

It was a beautiful mint green color with black and white furniture. The appliances were primarily black and the furniture primarily white, but regardless, it was beautiful. They had another table in the kitchen that was a grey wood instead of the shiny marble in the dining room but nevertheless screamed elegance. Sirius sat at one of the barstools at the L of the counter. Regulus slid him a cup of tea. 

“Your house is beautiful.” Sirius complimented, and Regulus placed the cup back into the saucer, “Thank you. My wife picked everything out for the most part. I either built it or painted it.” Regulus smiled. 

“Your wife?”

Regulus hummed, “Y/n Black. Ring any bells?”

Sirius swallowed, “Yeah.”

They both took a sip of tea, “I have two kids too. Both boys.”

“Two?!“ Sirius nearly spat out the liquid he had just taken a sip of. 

“Twins. Fraternal, thankfully.”

He placed the cup down, “What’re their names?“

“Perseus Regulus Black and Leo Alphard Black.”

“Perseus and Leo, huh?“

Regulus blushed, “It wasn’t my idea. It was Y/n’s.”

“I like them,” Regulus looked up at him, “The names. I’m sure they fit them too.”

“Thanks.”

It wasn’t long until footsteps began to echo coming down the steps. Y/n had grown up too. Her face was sharper and her curves more defined. If Sirius was honest, she didn’t look like she had kids at all. To be fair, he wasn’t really staring at Y/n but more so his brother. Regulus had a starstruck expression as his wife walked towards him. He had a dopey smile on his face and stars in his eyes. Regulus really loved her, and Sirius could tell, hell, anyone could. 

Y/n stopped in her tracks at seeing Sirius, “What’s he doing here?” 

Regulus placed an arm around her waist, “He came looking for a place to stay. While I was waiting for you, I decided to catch up with him for a little.”

Sirius looked guilty, “Ultimately, I’m leaving this decision up to you.” 

Y/n sighed and looked at both brothers. She thought of what he did back at Hogwarts. She thought of how Regulus had cried and ached for his brother, wishing for their relationship to be back the way it was. She thought of her two children who always asked about their Uncle Sirius, who was never around. 

“Sirius,” Y/n began, and Sirius held his breath, “Where will you go if I were to say no?”

Sirius looked at his lap, “The streets.”

He couldn’t hear the footsteps that approached him until soft hands lifted his head where he met soft e/c eyes, “I’m willing to look past everything that happened at Hogwarts for the sake of my children. They deserve their uncle. But I need you to show me that I can trust you and that you won’t cause trouble.”

“I’ll do anything.” Sirius complied, and Regulus smirked, “Don’t say that. She’ll have you remodel something.”

“You’re an asshole.” Y/n whirled, and Regulus continued to smirk, “I told you to use magic, and you said we should do it the Muggle way.”

He shrugged, “We got good memories out of doing it the Muggle way.”

“If getting paint all over me counts as good memories, then sure.”

“It does.” Regulus smiled, “Your face was priceless.”

“Dickhead.” She muttered. 

Sirius grinned, “Well, Sirius. If Y/n lets you stay, then you’re welcome here. What I did back at Hogwarts was uncalled for, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have mocked you and Remus.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It is.” Regulus countered solemnly, “Had I not done that; then we could’ve had a better relationship. For that, I’m sorry.”

Sirius stood up and hugged Regulus tight, “New beginnings?”

“New beginnings.” Regulus smiled. 

Regulus led Sirius up the wooden stairs up to the second story. It seemed to have had four bedrooms and two bathrooms, one in the master bedroom, one in the hallway, not including the one downstairs. On the end of the left side was a door leading to the master bedroom. On the right end was a cabinet and two doors across from one another. Then in the middle of the back was a door leading to another bedroom which Regulus had opened. 

The bedroom was spotless and beautiful. It was painted a grey with purple undertone with a queen-sized bed. Most of the furniture was white, and the bedding was black. Sirius had brought his trunk to its normal size and placed it at the end of the bed. Regulus smiled as Sirius looked around. 

“This is yours for as long as you want it.” Regulus stated softly snd Sirius had tears in his eyes, “Thank you.”

Sirius hugged his brother again, “I really mean it, thank you.”

“I love you, Sirius.” Regulus confessed, “You’ll always be my brother. The one who held me during thunderstorms. The one who sewed up my teddy bear when it had gotten ripped. The one who took the blame so I wouldn’t get punished.”

Sirius was gripping the back of his shirt tightly, “That stuff doesn’t just go away.”

They parted, and Regulus smiled, “Get some sleep. I’m sure you’d like to see the boys tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah. I’d like to meet my nephews.” Sirius admitted smiling brightly. 

“Get some sleep, Siri.” 

“You too, Reggie.”

[chiwhorei]

𝐀𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐚

✞𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐁𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬: 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜 𝐈𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧✞

Pairing: Shouta Aizawa x Fem!Reader

Genre: Smut, Dark Content, 18+ MDNI

Word Count: 3,175 [Link to Ao3]

Tags: Darkfic, sacrelige, coercion, corruption, dubcon and noncon elements, intonations and parallels to incest, but not actual incest (ie. ‘Father’ Shouta), choking, age-gap, oral, Priest!Aizawa, Virgin!Reader

From Chiwhorei: Aizawa is where this all started, so it’s fitting he is the subject of my anniversary fic. To everyone who’s followed me along this journey despite the long bouts of radio silence, to everyone that’s participated and supported this collab, to all of my lovely, devious friends— truly, completely, thank you for this past year. Xoxo.

The pain was so sharp that it made me utter several moans; and so excessive was the sweetness caused me by this intense pain that one can never wish to lose it, nor will one’s soul be content with anything less than God.

** ** **

There’s not a soul awake this late.

The rosary wrapped between twitching fingers feels like a hot lashing against the skin. The glass and metal itch in your hold, the devotional was a gift for your confirmation-- it holds a decade of sins.

Your family has been asleep for hours now. Slipping through the back door as soon as you’re sure. Nineteen. A legal adult. Yet the only way to leave in the middle of the night is in secret. The cool, summer air hits your cheeks, it’s still for a moment. It’s so quiet, you feel like you’ve mistaken the real world for a snow globe. Static— in the moments after all of the glitter settles, all of the quiet, iridescent tears laying at your feet. It waits, patiently, until someone comes by to shake it again.

Moving into a cramped dorm room a few hours away, your childhood home feels bigger every visit. It’s bigger because nothing fills the space inside. There’s nothing but tense words and the clatter of silverware against dinner plates. Your father reminds you of an old briefcase— stern, rigid leather, unmistakably empty; your mother’s rose garden smells like poisoned wine.

Roses and leather, the combination suffocating enough to repel you in the hours you should be unconscious.

The walk from your parent’s house to the church is the most familiar thing in the world. Down to the cracks on the sidewalk and mossy steps leading up to a set of large, cherry doors. So routine it almost feels good for you.

There’s not a soul awake this late, you decide, that must be why you’re here.

That must be why he’s up too.

Pushing open one ornate door just enough to peek inside, you’re met with that distinct waft of incense and dusty missals. It smells like every Sunday morning and Easter Vigil, it smells like home.

Only votive candles light the space around you, flickering with intentions from fellow parishioners. You wonder if there’s one burning for you.

You know where to find Father Shouta, and suspect he’s waiting. He can trace every step from your parents home to the front gate. You open the confessional booth and crawl inside, the wooden space around you is cramped. It smells like incense masking cigarettes. Kneeling into the leather cushion, you face the screen partition.

“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. My last confession was,” the memory has you falter, “three months ago.”

You remember the last hollow confession like it was yesterday. You were back in town for spring break. After mass that Sunday, your dad told Father Shouta how deplorable it was that your friends had tried, in vain, to drag you to the beach a few hours away from campus. “A week of drinking and sex, not for my daughter.”

Shouta met with you that evening and you cried your sins to him. How you had been dared to kiss boys at a party during midterms week, how you drank who-knows-what mixed with cheap beer at a frat house. He consoled you then, he told you that God will forgive all transgressions. “Even the sins of a whore.”

The memory makes you want to cry all over again. Yet, here you are— knees pressed to the very same leather, face against the same dusty screen.

He’s so still, so quiet, you jump out of your skin at the sound of his voice, “What is it that you’d like to confess, my child?”

Your body aches, stiff and tense to the bone. You breathe in, shallow and suffocated, before you speak again.

“Father, forgive me I—” you can tell his posture is just as rigid, he’s only a shadowed outline and the slightest glimmer of color from his eyes. They warn you, but you ignore the familiar feeling on the back of your neck.

“I have been having impure thoughts. I’ve been thinking about a man,” one more deep breath in an attempt to keep your voice neutral, “a much older man.”

If you could hear a smile, Father’s creaks like floorboards.

His silence prompts you to continue, you knot your fingers together and hold them against your stomach, the Rosary tangled in between threatening to cut off circulation.

“The boys in my youth group, the ones in my classes— they’re all nice but,” you leave the second half of the sentence to rattle around in your mind, “but they aren’t you.”

“Impure thoughts are one thing, sinful, but,” his voice is indifferent, cold, “the true sins are ones of the flesh.”

“I- I haven’t,” you start to stutter, trying to defend yourself, “I haven’t done anything, Father.”

Despite himself, he laughs.

“It’s true Father,” you wonder why you hadn’t just stayed at home, “I’ve only ever kissed a boy— it wasn’t even a real kiss. I’m still a virgin.”

From the screen, you can only see him in fragments. Little cutouts of a dark figure and sickeningly bright red eyes. The color peaks through like pieces of a puzzle, chasing through the patterned wood before you can catch that he’s stepping out of his side of the confessional booth.

“It wasn’t a ‘real’ kiss,” each word is mimicked, emphasized by the tap of his shoes against the tiles below, “no, of course it wasn’t. Not with some boy.” Your legs are unsteady as you stand from the kneeler. There’s nowhere to hide, Father has you trapped in a toy box. Just for him to play with.

“Of course that wouldn’t have satisfied you.”

The door to your side of the booth creeks open just as your back hits the wall. You can see his face for the first time in months, you trace the features illuminated with candlelight. Father Shouta’s face is strong, even more sharp with his long, black hair tied back. His presence looms over where you’re sunken into the booth. Even standing and puffing out your chest, he’ll still be able to look down at you.

He bares his teeth. You know this by now, stupid little girl, you know he likes to play with his food.

Long fingers grip the small door frame and curl around the wood like an omen, his body slithers into your personal space until he’s only an inch away.

“Lust, greed, what is it that you want?” Each vowel cradles a hearty dose of poison, the consonants bite away and spit you out. Your skin feels raw under his attention, “You can’t atone for sins you’re not really sorry for.”

Those same fingers slide up either curve of your neck, he crawls from shoulder to jaw, slowly. So slowly it seems like he’s trying not to get caught. He holds steady against your skin, thumb rubbing lightly at your bottom lip. You must have just fallen asleep after your parents went to bed, that stale, poisoned house even lulling the restless. You must be dreaming right now.

“Don’t make me ask again.” His timber hits the three walls and brings you back to the present. There’s no rest for you, only a weak answer to his question. What is it that you want?

“I want to be a humble servant of our Lord.” Your voice shakes, battered against your throat on its way to meet the stiff air.

Father’s lips are on you, he traces the words of Luke over your trembling mouth, there’s only a breath of space between you,

“No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other,”

The hands holding your cheeks move down to circle your neck, each long finger lays a trap. He tightens around the skin, just enough to make you forget how it feels to breathe freely. He could do anything to you right now, and your cries for help would be swallowed by stained glass.

No one can serve two masters.

The scream caught in your throat meets his wicked smile, it fizzles into little more than a whimper. The small booth you’ve been trapped in is burning hot, you feel sweat beading on your forehead. The last ounce of courage, of restraint, tumbles out before you can catch it.

“Who do you serve, Father Shouta? God or the Devil?”

He answers you with a thick tongue finally pushing into your mouth. He smells like perfumed oils and votive candles, he tastes like sugar free gum and Seven Stars.

His grip around your neck is the only thing keeping you on your feet, you’re sure if he were to let go you’d melt into the floor below. Father’s lips against yours are a siren, dulling all other senses, rendering you malleable to his will. Whatever his will may be, whatever it is that he wants from you— you’d let him have it anyway.

He breaks away, the kiss that’s felt like hours disappears far too soon. Your body jolts forward of its own volition, trying to connect yourself to him again. You’re sure you look desperate, but you’re too intoxicated to care.

“I serve only myself.”

Father lets go of your neck and you’re allowed the first deep intake of breath you’ve had since walking into the church. You swallow hard, looking back up to him. He scares you, he always has, but that fear draws you towards him.

Does a moth know what the flame will do to it? Does the moth know their fate?

You feel like crying, really crying, but all that comes out are a few frustrated tears. Father leans over you once more, eyes trailing the tear waxing over your cheek, “You’re a wretched little girl.”

Is that why they fly towards fire, because they like the burn?

** ** **

You step forward in line, it’s almost your turn. Mother first, she’s always thought of Father Aizawa as such a “charming young man''. The notion always made you scoff, in reality he’s only a few years younger than your parents.

Your dad is behind you, he’ll give him a friendly handshake after the service and remark how beautiful the homily was. Today, he spoke of the devil tempting Jesus. You hung on every word.

Mother steps aside and makes the sign of the cross, you’re next. A sheep guided by the dutiful shepherd, a lamb onto his slaughter.

Your chin tilts upwards, eyes locked onto your part-time captor. He only has you for a few seconds this time, but his attention is a hallway— every door is a pitfall. Aizawa’s gaze turns red when he looks upon you again— a bright, bloody, captivating red. You’ve convinced yourself it’s a trick of the light. But you see them in the dark too.

“The Body of Christ,” his voice is a welcome mat in front of an asylum, holding out the wafer and obscuring one painfully beautiful eye.

“Amen.” You know you’re part, but you can’t hear your own voice.

Father watches as your eyes close and your mouth opens, a quiet obedience, nothing at all out of the ordinary. Your fingers tingle with how tight you’re holding them together.

He places the Body to your awaiting tongue. It tastes like a harsh nothing that will stick to the back of your throat for the rest of mass. You take Christ in pieces, letting it start to melt into the roof of your mouth.

Shouta brushes your bottom lip before retracting. It’s subtle, an accident— the smallest touch of chilling skin. No one notices, the earth doesn’t stop on its axis for anyone else. You step aside and follow your Mother back to the wooden pews like nothing out of the ordinary stirs in your heart.

You feel Father’s eyes on the back of your skirt. They feel red.

“Your sweet girl here has offered a helping hand getting prepared for a youth retreat the church is hosting next week.” After mass, the stop to shake Father’s hand is inevitable, a pleasantry every parishioner makes time for before shuffling out for Sunday brunch.

He speaks over your quiet, “Good morning, Father Shouta,” right as your family turns to leave, almost as if he had been mulling over whether or not it was worth a mention. He regards them with a veiled casualty, never once looking at you.

Father’s face is kind when he wants it to be, laying a hand in the middle of your shoulder blades, it's a feeling of comfort you can’t help but lean into, “We’re discussing how to remain chaste in a sinful world.”

The word ‘chaste’ is pinched into your spine and despite yourself, you smile. A heavy heart has found home at the bottom of your stomach, but you can’t let on to the sick churning in your gut. Your parents gleam with pride for their daughter. A perfect example of a good Catholic girl.

“I’ll have her meet at my office this evening, is six okay?” His question sounds like your dowry, talking past you and asking for your parents permission.

Your dad shakes Father Shout’s hand once more, delighted at how his diligent parenting must be the reason you’ve found yourself in holy favor. Said ‘parenting’ is definitely to blame, but not in the way your dad assumes.

*** *** ***

The walk through church and into the sacristy is like a meditation in fear, every step begging you to turn back, to run home like a scared child. You tread steady, feet searing on hot coals until you’re met with the sound of Father Shouta just beyond the threshold.

“You’re late.” Something sinister fills Father’s quarters as soon as you open the door. It’s scary how offhandedly he can lie. You’re at least ten minutes early, the evening toll of church bells will signal the hour. He wants to see if you’ll stutter, if you’ll argue. You stay quiet, busying your hands with the hem of your skirt, fingers lifting it slightly before you remember who owns the eyes sitting across the room. They look golden from here, a honey you could drown in. You cough at the feeling of sugar in your lungs before collecting yourself and awaiting instruction.

Seemingly pleased with your docility, he smiles wide and crooked. It’s bound into a book he will whisper into you page by page. It’s written in a language only he knows.

Shouta motions you farther inside, leaning back in his seat. He corrects you when you move to sit in the chair on the other side of his desk, waiting with little patience as you settle against his side instead. Your posture is stiff being this close, being this alone.

His facial hair is trimmed neatly, small scars litter his face, the most pronounced a jagged trail under his right eye. From the dim evening light, you see a shadow of loose hairs make a pointed crown around his head.

“St. Teresa of Avila,” Father starts, tapping his fingers against a small stack of papers, “what do you know of her?”

You’re disarmed, the question seems so innocent-- not a note of ulterior motive detectible. Even so, your guard remains high. His intentions need no subtext.

“St. Teresa of Avila, the patron saint of headache sufferers,” you’re struggling to see the point, but Father prompts you to continue, “she was a Spanish nun, she wrote about a prayerful life,”

After another moment of measured silence, you grow even more tense, “Father Shouta, forgive me, I don’t understand,”

You’re hushed with a laugh, the small collection of papers placed in your hands. The first leaf is titled with large letters, “The Life of Teresa of Jesus.”

“I’d like you to read the section I’ve highlighted.”

You shake, thumbing through until you find a block of text traced in bright yellow. You scan its contents, but are quickly interrupted by Shouta’s next request.

“Out loud.”

There’s no escaping the toy box.

His stare is unwavering, giving you no room for objection. They’re not soft like honey anymore, Father Shouta’s eye’s are harsh, bloody gemstones.

You know better than to keep him waiting, adjusting in your half sat position on the side of his desk, you begin reading with hoarse inflection, “In his hands I saw a long golden spear, and at the end of the iron tip I seemed to see a point of fire. With this he seemed to pierce my heart several times so that it penetrated to my entrails.”

Wincing, the words sound like a stranger in your ears. After every sentence, Shouta’s fingertips inch closer to the end of your skirt, right above the knee. You’d be stoned for this kind of hemline at home, but with Father it seems to be exactly the sacred skin he wanted to see.

His hands move, unwavering, as you continue with the annotated paragraph, “When he drew it out, I thought he was drawing them out with it and he left me completely afire with a great love of God.” Fingers stop their gentle assault before adding pressure to your inner thigh, he peels apart your legs with a wordless prompting to keep going.

“The pain was so sharp that it made me utter several moans; and so excessive was the sweetness caused me by this intense pain that one can never wish to lose it, nor will one’s soul be content with anything less than God.”

By the last several words, Father Shouta’s lips are centered in between your open thighs, you feel tears frozen in the duct. You want to pull away, to escape, but his lips hold something you’ve never been this close to.

“Piety is a virtue,” you can feel the hot breath against your most intimate planes of flesh, “but our God is one of pleasure too.”

His kiss feels like branding. An aimless, confused lamb seared with the mark of its owner.

You cry out, loud and broken, when his mouth meets the cotton covering your pussy. Shouta uses his pointer and middle finger to move the fabric away.

No one has ever seen these parts of you, kept locked away for your future husband until now, sitting in the heart of your family's church, writhing from even the slightest touch.Hips buck of their own accord, and you’re granted one last open-mouthed lave against your twitching cunt. His tongue peaks out slightly to catch your clit before pulling away.

You move as if possessed, falling to your knees in front of your Father. Your mouth opens, that same quiet obedience, and his finger brushes your lower lip again. “No one” you think, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of fingers wrapped into the back of your hair, “no one can serve two masters.”

“Body and soul, you’re mine.”

But there’s not a soul left in sight.

✞ 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞: All writing is chiwhorei’s original content, please do not repost or modify. Do no read my content as asmr. Do not recommend me on TikTok.©️

[maybe-your-left]

ASK FRIDAY - CREATE A SCENARIO: roommates trope with Kylo

Due to some last minute room swapping and late registering Reader and Kylo end up in the same dorm but they're mad about it and hate each other (cue intense sexual tension)

Dorm room, Snowed in, evening time like 6

The heater/power has just gone out and Kylo knows a few ways to get warm...only if Readers up for it...

been working on this for FOREVER ANON. 

I loved it! 

Crushed

TW: NSFW, dirty talk, dom/sub vibes, exhibitionism, kinda fluff, Kylos not that nice and is an entitled man.

Oh yeah, you fuckin’ slut. 

Yes-Yes-Yes! 

‘M gonna cum all over your fucking tits.

You slapped the wall next to your bed, hard. 

“Can you guys keep it down! It’s 1 in the morning!” 

Muffled voices came through the paper-thin wall, sounding like bodies moving to the floor. Good, you thought, at least he will get rug burn from the shitty carpet, might keep him from fucking everything that moves. 

A hard knock on the wall pulled you from that thought. 

“Go read your fucking Bible! I’m trying to get my dick wet!” 

“Please!” 

“Why don’t you go get fucked!?” 

Some giggled came through next, followed by more muffled whispering. You whined loudly, trying to ignore the sounds of him fucking whatever bimbo your dormmate had in his lair. Shoving your face into your pillow, muffling your tears and wails. 

You turned on your TV, drowning out the final act of his performance. Fingers poised over your keyboard to file another noise complaint with the RA… not like they ever helped you. The last time they intervened they left with a black eye and broken nose, shrugging for you to sort it out yourselves. 

A door slammed shut, you let out a sigh of relief. 

At least he wasn’t a cuddler. 

You climbed out of bed, tip-toeing to your door to take a peek of whatever slut found her way into his room this evening. The special lady was a new cinderella every fucking week, he didn’t even try to know their names. You heard him admit it once in class to his friends, saying he called them all ‘baby’ so he wouldn’t have to learn. 

You peeked out the door, blinking from the harsh fluorescent lighting of your dingy dorm halls. The walls were a screaming white, yellowing from years of shoddy cleaning. You tried to clean your room when you first came to school, but it was too disgusting. 

A non-smoking dorm, ha. Everyone smoked, especially your neighbor. 

“Shouldn’t you be in bed creeper?” 

You jumped at his voice, exhaling harshly through your nose. You steeled your features, caught red-handed looking for his latest prey. Crossing your arms defensively, not that there was anything to hide. You were in your ratty pj’s, they were on sale at Old Navy a few years ago and you never threw them away even though they barely fit anymore. 

“If you’re so interested in being a cuck,” he grinned at you, flashing his crooked teeth, “I would love to have you over for an encore, I’m sure you’d love to watch me in action.” 

“Buzz off, Ren.” 

“Ooo, angry tonight,” he smirked, now stepping out of his door frame. You choked a little at his appearance, no shirt on, basketball shorts barely hanging off his hips. Dangerously low, seriously, if he took one wrong move they would be on the floor. His chest was covered in fresh scratch marks, no doubt from his latest victim, a sheen of sweat glistening under the lights. 

Fuck, he was good-looking. 

But he was terrible. 

“Ahem,” he cleared his throat, daring you to stare back at him. 

You gulped, caught again. You were better than that, you were just tired from being kept up since ten with his version of ‘love-making’. 

“My eyes are up here cupcake,” he stepped forward. Pushing you back into your doorframe, almost inside your sanctuary. “If you ever decide you want to break your vow of chastity, I’m right next door.” 

“Step away from me, Kylo.” 

He cocked his brow, “I love when you’re mean, come on. Let’s see if kitty has claws.” 

You bared your teeth, fists balling under your underarms, “Not even if you were the last man on Earth.” 

He shrugged, backing away from you. 

“Deal, bitch.” 

You moved to shut your door on him, “Go away.” 

“See you in class, bright and early.” 

------ 

When you imagined leaving for college, it was different. 

Saying goodbye to your parents, packing your car with whatever small valuables you owned. Determined to make a name for yourself all the way across the country, no friends or family, truly on your own. You imagined everything would be different, the dorm would be filled with new and friendly faces. 

RA’s greeting you as you parked outside, giving you a tour and maybe a group lunch with all your floormates. Getting to know each other, maybe even going to some new-student orientation event they planned for the newbies. 

Classes were smooth, acing all your major requirements. Professors were kind and ready to help you at any moment, letting your artistic vision flow through your body every morning with your 8 AM yoga class. 

But no. 

Instead, you registered late. 

Your classes all at the worst times, bright and early. 

Second rate dorm, COED even… smelly dudes between your single bedroom which would be better defined as a broom closet. Burping and fucking on both sides of you while you tried to study. Your major requirement classes were boring and filled with pretentious art students who thought they were the next Picasso. 

Professors didn’t care if you lived or died, only focusing on the bell schedule because they couldn’t control what the freshmen did in their classes. 

Your options for clubs were limited, either join a sport or a cult. 

And worst of all. 

Kylo Ren. 

He was your neighbor, signed up late just like you. You actually arrived at the same time, he pushed you down on your ass in the lobby so he could be checked in first. Calling you a clumsy bitch, only for you both to be handed keys to the same floor. Right next to each other, sharing a flimsy wall. 

On top of that, he was an art major like you. 

And since he registered late, he was in almost every class. 

Even yoga! 

He took your mat the first day, leaving you in tears in the hallway. He apologized afterward, handing it back to you before storming off to be with his beefy upper-class friends. Any moment he could, Ren would humiliate you. Trying to push your buttons, whistling at you when you had to cross the hallway to the showers. Tripping you when you had your hands full, making fun of you for hanging out with your sparse group of friends. 

And when he found out you were annoyed with him making noise, he latched onto it. 

One week he decided to recite the entire Phantom of the Opera, just because you mentioned in class that you loved that play. 

He did every part, even the musical scores, you could’ve sworn he did it with a megaphone on the wall, just to spite you. 

Your parents told you ‘he just likes you, he’s a boy.’ 

No! 

That’s not how people express feelings, at least not healthy people. 

Your alarm clock blared on your nightstand, you didn’t sleep so it didn’t bother you. Letting out a heavy sigh of defeat, Ren ruined another night for you, a night you’d never get back. Of precious, precious sleep that you desperately deserved. 

Slipping on some plum leggings and a sports bra. No one gave a fuck about your outfit in your early morning class, as long as you went with clothes on. You popped on your headphones, trying to drone out the noise of Ren’s music through the wall. He liked to blast some god-awful music every morning. 

Today, it was an old Black Veil Brides album! 

You made it out of the dining hall, snatching a muffin for breakfast. Smiling at some guys you knew, waving at your friend Rose as you stormed off to the gym. The cold chill of Winter biting at your nose, it was too cold to not wear a full outfit. But there was no time, with Ren keeping you up all night and classes back to back, you didn’t have time to fuck around with dressing up. 

Ren ran in after you, laughing with his friends. Big nose all red from the frost, his hair looked frozen to his scalp, probably showered beforehand. You rolled out your mat, trying to stretch while he bragged about the pussy he got last night. Making a big show of your complaining, saying you were desperate to fuck him based on your whining. 

You rolled your eyes when he planted next to you, “Good morning, you ran out in a hurry.” 

“I didn’t want to be late,” you sneered, not giving him the time of day, still stretching your back into child's-pose. 

“How are we supposed to walk together if you run away from me, cupcake?” 

You scoffed, shooting him an icy glare. Despite him grinning at you like the happiest man on Earth, god, you needed to stop giving him a reaction. That would shut him up if you didn’t give him the attention he is clearly lacking from his parental figures. 

“Good morning class,” your teacher greeted you calmly, “I hope you’re all doing well. As you all know, this next week is finals week, I’m offering makeup classes to those of you who need to make up some credit hours. We are also hosting some meditation if you need time to relax between classes.” 

Next to you, Ren leaned towards your mat, setting his hand right behind your back. You didn’t have to open your eyes to know he was hovering. Ready to devour you like a piece of meat.

“Hey,” he chuckled. 

You stayed quiet, pushing back into his arm so he would move. Ren stayed put, purring in your ear, “Did you sleep well?” 

“Move off my mat, Ren.” 

He smirked down at you, “You seem stressed, do you want me to help by fucking your brains out.” 

You shot off your mat, effectively knocking him onto his back. Laughing loudly in a relatively silent room of students trying to center themselves. He grinned from the floor, hands up in the air in defense, “I’m just offering to help you, Jesus!” 

“Just,” you pointed in his face, hair falling out of your ponytail. Everyone was staring at you, even your instructor. Shocked you were yelling, you barely spoke in class, at the scariest person in your class. 

“Just, leave me alone.” 

------

Ren avoided you for the rest of the week, mostly. 

Still had his nightly fuck-more subdued though, you had on noise-canceling headphones to try and focus on studying. There were still so many classes to get to, and you wouldn’t be finished until the day before Winter break… you were desperate to get this over with. 

You missed your family, the plane ticket itself cost you a whole month of meals. 

Of course, you would do fine in your classes, it was just the motivation to get there. Every morning you glared at Ren when he greeted you in yoga, still standing next to you like a menacing shadow. 

This morning was no different, only you skipped class to study in the library. Bundled up in your winter coat, long black scarf, hair in a lazy braid, and thermal leggings on. The wind had picked up last night, bringing on an ice storm that wasn’t expected until late next week. You walked on treacherous sidewalks, dodging all the other students who were seeking the warmth of the library. 

You settled inside, sprawling your books and laptop on an old desk. Grabbing out a few sketch pads so you could finish up some pieces that were due in a couple hours. Most of your finals in art were ‘unconventional’ which meant the professor wanted to see what you were motivated to work on during the year. 

For yours, you had decided to draw the people you saw on campus. 

Studying their faces, mannerisms, languages while they were in an organic environment. It was a great piece, and one of your professors was very interested in showcasing it in a show. You were proud, it wasn’t large but it was important for you and you wanted it to be perfect before turning it in. 

Your pastels were spread out, fingertips smudged and stained from charcoal, a few lines on your face and brow from forgetting about the streaks. There was this one person you couldn’t finish, it was one of your friends from last week. She was laughing and holding a drink, the expression wide and full of emotion but it was hard for you to capture without her being there. 

But you steeled yourself, you weren’t leaving this spot until you finished her. 

“You smudged that dude's face,” a low voice rumbled behind you. A finger pointing down at the top left corner, “Stop-don’t touch it.” 

You moved to swat the hand away, not wanting some random guy to ruin your piece with their grubby fingers. Recentering yourself, he wasn’t smudged, he was just in the corner so it looked like it wasn’t finished… what did he know, anyway? 

“You didn’t draw me?” 

Now you stopped, why you didn’t recognize the timbre of his voice was ridiculous. 

You let out a long sigh, “Please, don’t touch the canvas, Kylo. It’s not ready, yet.” 

The chair that housed your backpack slid out next to you, your things tossed on the ground carelessly before Ren sat. You scooted away from him, he smelled like he just showered. Judging by his wet hair you were probably right… “What are you doing?” 

He shrugged, fiddling with one of your notebooks. Flipping through pages carelessly, “I don’t know-you weren’t in yoga so.” 

“So,” you gave him a weird look, “You stalked me to the library?” 

“There’s no reason to go to yoga if I can’t bother you,” he flashed a smile, dropping it slightly when he saw you weren’t playing back with him. 

Silence fell over you both, the only noises the heat kicking in around the scuffling of boots and shoes to face the weather again. 

“I like your piece,” he gestured to your work, “For drawing, right?” 

You nodded stiffly, not enjoying his friendly tone. Like he wasn’t your demon neighbor who made it his job to annoy you and had for the past four months of your life. Ren shifted again, now leaning on the table with his cheek resting on his forearm. Looking at you with wide eyes, you never took the time to look at his face. 

He had very large eyes that betrayed his emotions. Swimming with flecks of auburn, gold, and some streaks of green, blinking slowly as he studied your canvas. You looked away from him, trying to ignore the urge to draw them, how his long lashes rivaled your own. How his skin was freckled with beauty marks, creases from frowning lined his forehead and nose. You could even make out his stubble, some pieces he must’ve missed the last time he shaved. 

You went back to drawing, no longer focusing on it. Just trying to understand what was happening, your tormentor was a foot away from you. Breathing calmly like a cat laying in a patch of sun. Hunched over the edge, torso too long to rest like a normally proportioned human being, had he always been this big? 

“Wanna get coffee before class?” 

“Huh?” 

You blinked slowly, not registering that he spoke to you. 

Ren leaned off, letting out a big yawn and scratching the back of his neck. 

Yes, definitely a cat. 

“Do you want to get coffee,” he stared blankly, “Before we head to English?” 

You looked down at your mess, then back up at him. Shaking your head softly, voice quiet as a mouse, “No-thank you.” 

He exhaled harshly, “I’m not gonna burn you with it, it’s just coffee.” 

“No, I’m fine,” you said firmer, “I wanna work on this some more.” 

Ren stayed still, probably trying to think of a way to get you to agree with him. You had known him long enough to know he doesn’t like people disagreeing with him. Didn’t have to be a college graduate to see that the man had issues with control, hence terrorizing you all semester. You didn’t want to offer him an olive branch, because he was just doing it as a joke. Probably, waiting until you were calm around him to do something cruel. 

You went back to drawing, listening to him get up and leave you. Mumbling something under his breath about ‘trying to be nice’ before walking out. You shook off the awkwardness, not willing to break down and let him do something nice for you, just because he didn’t ruin your final piece didn’t mean he wouldn’t do something in the future. 

The day was still young. 

------

Oddly enough, Ren didn’t bother you that evening. 

Not even a door slam! 

You almost thought he was dead, but you saw him in the hallway when you were walking to the bathroom. Wrapped in your robe, caddy in hand, he didn’t whistle or try to touch your ass like he normally did. Just a stale smile before closing himself back in his room. 

Not to waste the precious quiet, you went to work packing your bags for your trip tomorrow. Deciding to do a quick load of laundry, your hall was almost empty, so no one would be down there while you waited. 

Piling up your hamper, you threw your pj's and slippers on. Remembering to grab a blanket and your laptop so you could hang out down there while you waited. 

Your friends back home were all excited to see you, ready to hear all about your time away. The boys you met, friends you made, classes, all that. So excited to get home and see your cat, Gremlin, he was all alone without you. Your mom sent you pictures earlier of him curled in your blankets, saying that he knew you were coming home soon. 

Maybe next Fall you could get an apartment, you didn’t want to leave him for another year. 

A washing machine door slammed shut next to you, causing you to jump from your perch atop your own. Faced with Ren, who was doing his laundry in his pjs, or his version of pjs. Giving you another tight-lipped smile before leaning against the far wall. Yawning loudly before sliding down the wall to sit on the floor. 

You ignored him, turning back to your laptop that was playing a crime documentary. Texting some friends to keep your mind from wandering to Ren and why he was in such a mood. 

“Are you leaving tomorrow?” Ren called from his wall. 

You pretended to not hear him, refocusing on the documentary, there was something very interesting happening and you weren’t about to miss how they found the killer's shoe prints in the mud just because Ren was trying to talk to you. 

Then something was thrown at you, and it smelled awful. 

“Oh-my-god!” 

You shot off the washing machine, throwing down the offending garment. Ren was laughing loudly, “Chill out! It was just an old shirt!” 

“How old was it?!” 

He smiled at you from the ground, propping an elbow on his kneecap. One leg stretched out on the tile, you tried to regain a sense of calm, he was just messing with you again. Just take some deep breaths… in-out-in

“Are you leaving tomorrow, after our final?” 

You let out your deep breath, sitting back on the washer. “Yeah,” you paused your show since mister meanie wanted to have a tea party. “I have to get to the airport right after.” 

He hummed, “Same.” 

The washer beeped loudly, echoing in the otherwise empty room. Ren watched you hop off, fixing your shorts which definitely rode up too much. Trying to not flash him your underwear as you bent to move your clothes to a dryer. You cursed when a sock fell from your pile, great.  

“How come we’ve never fucked?” 

Now all your clothes were on the floor. 

Along with Ren, who was staring at you like you were an art exhibit. 

You dragged your clothes back to the washer. There was no way you were finishing now that they touched the dirty floor, no one cleaned down here and just because it looked clean didn’t mean-

A whistle, “You good over there?” 

“Yup.” 

“Okay,” you heard him stretch, popping his joints as he lifted off the floor. You could feel his breath on the back of your neck as he closed in. Almost touching you, no escape, “As I was saying, how come you’ve never let me steal your virginity?” 

You scoffed, “I am not a virgin.” 

Ren pressed into you, pushing you against the washer now. Grinding his hips into your own, you squirmed, trying to dispel every fantasy flooding your brain. Every night you spent listening to him through the wall, imagining just once that it was you. If he weren’t such a monster, you would have gladly laid on your back and let him do whatever he wanted. 

“Nothing?” 

You took a deep breath, placing both palms on the top of the washer. Biting your lip as you silently pleaded for him to let you go, but also continue. You could smell his cologne from this close, how it complimented him so well. Mixing in with his dark aura, you wanted nothing more than to spin around and…

Soon you were doing just that, but not on your own violation. 

Ren had his hands grasping your hips, thumbs slipping under the fabric of your t-shirt to caress your soft skin. Lips capturing your own, you froze in his hold. Unsure of what to do, a part of you wanted to scream and smack him, but the other part loved the smell of his toothpaste. 

He relaxed when you relaxed, your lips still awkwardly locked together. Not opening and allowing for more, but not moving away either. You stared at him, startled to see him looking back at you. Pulling back slightly, you watched his face chase yours. Bringing your lips together a few more times, kissing at the seam. 

You felt his tongue flick for entry, trying to pry your mouth open so he could explore. When you didn’t move he finally huffed in annoyance, “I know it’s your first kiss, but you’re supposed to open your mouth.” 

You groaned, bringing both hands to cradle his cheeks. There was no way he was going to make fun of you, he initiated this so. 

Ren made a muffled noise when you pressed your lips back together. Probably of shock and surprise, because, no. This was not your first kiss, not even your fourth or fifth kiss. Working your tongue skillfully into his mouth, you moaned softly at his taste. Just like you imagined… not that you put much stock into this but… it was wonderful. 

Bringing your fingers to the nape of his neck, tugging on his dark brown hair. Just like you always wanted to, whenever he walked past you with it tied in a bun you dreamt of tearing through it. Ren returned your affection in kind, his left hand moving to the small of your back. Fingers dancing under the waistband of your pajama bottoms. 

You heard him swear when he felt the lace underneath, nestled between your cheeks. Ren slid a hand over the globes of your ass, moving his hips in time with his tongue. Tasting every inch of your mouth, even growling in approval when you sunk your teeth into his bottom lip. 

Petting and groping each other against the washing machines, the sound of you swapping spit barely heard over the rumble of your clothes. Ren had gotten sick of grinding against your hip bone, pulling away from you for a moment. Shushing your pathetic whimpers, he hooked the hand not cupping your ass behind your left knee. 

Hiking it over his hip, opening your legs up. Allowing him to assault your center with his straining erection, oh you could picture it now. How easy it would be to just let him slip inside you. 

Right here, in the laundry room. 

*Beep* 

You pulled back roughly, barely able to unsuction your lips from Rens' own. A string of spit connecting your kiss-bitten lips, he looked at you with pleading eyes. Grinding himself against you harder, pulling a few soft mewls from your throat. 

“I need to switch my clothes,” you croaked.

He nodded, shakily setting your limb back on the floor and backing away. You watched through your own lust-filled state as he trembled. Walking back to his far wall, a hand cupping his cock through his sweats. Your throat clicked as you took in a much-needed breath, doing what you said you would. 

Setting them in the dryer, all the more aware of his eyes watching your every move. 

Not sparing him a glance when you sat back on the washer. 

Turning on your laptop once again to watch your crime documentary. 

Ignoring the throbbing between your legs, his deep breaths, and your shaking limbs. 

------

The TV’s at the airport all said the same thing, “Record snowfall this winter, right before the holidays! Experts say that we will be lucky to keep power until it passes. Our friends on the west coast are enjoying a white Christmas, while we’re stuck in the North Pole.” 

All flights have been grounded until further notice. 

Stuck. 

You could barely make it back to your dorm without crashing. 

Bursting into tears several times when you realized you wouldn’t be home until it was over. Wouldn't be able to safely leave your dorm room until it passed, leaving you utterly alone. 

You had emailed your RA letting him know your bad luck, he let the staff know you’d be there so they would have food and water running still. 

But other than that, this was your holiday. 

You slipped on the walk up to your room, sobbing loudly in the halls as you clutched your luggage. No going home, no seeing your friends or family, no Christmas dinner, no personal shower, no Gremlin to sleep on your face. 

Collapsing on your bed, curling yourself in the multitude of pillows and blankets that adorned it. The room had shitty heating, the entire building had shitty heating. The entire month of December you’d been freezing, and no amount of personal heaters could fix this kind of cold. 

You drifted off to sleep after crying for a few hours, letting your parents know what was happening. Setting alerts for earlier flights, anything you could do to get home. You were so tired in fact, that you slept through a power outage. Leaving the entire building to shut down, no backup generators. 

And no heat. 

It wasn’t until you felt yourself being lifted that you woke up to the commotion. 

Squirming in the kidnappers' arms, limbs aching from freezing for a time in your bedroom. The window must’ve cracked open because it was much colder than when you arrived. Your attacker didn’t let you go, growling in your ear to be still. 

Dragging you out of the building, towards a car you didn’t notice when you pulled in. With the snow swirling all around, it was a miracle they could see their own vehicle. You were thrown in the front seat, followed by your luggage tossed in the back. You stayed still, every time you moved it hurt, hypothermia. Common in the New England storms if you were foolish enough to be outside… 

You about passed out when the driver's side door opened, Ren climbed in. Looking just as frozen as you, slamming the door shut and mumbling something as he started his car. You could’ve cried when the engine turned, heat blasting between the both of you. 

“Hands,” his teeth chattered, holding his own out. He nodded for you to do the same, grasping your pink fingers between his own and blowing on them. “Power went out,” Ren took a shallow breath, “I was leaving and I saw your car. You were almost frozen to your bed, the window broke.” 

“Th-thank you-u-u.” 

Ren cringed at your fingers, slowly gaining back their normal color. “I tried to grab everything I could, like your backpack and luggage. But we can’t stay there, we’ll fucking freeze.” 

You nodded, tugging your hands away to curl into your chest. Thankful that Ren had enough sense to grab blankets, stuffing them in your lap from the backseat. You thought about grabbing your phone, but you could barely make a fist so it would do you no good. 

“My plane g-g-got ground-d-ed.” 

Ren shivered, nodding sharply, “Mine too, my mom got me a hotel room not far from here to stay until the storm passes. So, I’m taking us there.” 

“Okay.” 

You didn’t say anything else, not wanting to distract him from the treacherous roads. Thank god he had a Jeep, or else you would’ve died. You couldn’t see more than ten feet ahead, less than that when you were on the highway out of the city. 

Ren kept mumbling things like it’s okay, I’m sorry, I know it's cold, whenever you shivered and took in sharp breaths. You must’ve been out for a while, to get this bad. A quick look at the clock in his car said you’d been asleep for three hours, who knows what would’ve happened if he hadn’t noticed your car… 

He helped you out, more carried you, towards the check-in desk. Too worried you would pass out in the car if he left you for too long, the front desk lady was quick and sweet. Making sure to send up extra blankets and pillows to your suite. Ren had you walk up with him, so he wouldn’t have to carry you and the luggage on separate trips. 

You clutched his hand like a child, tight enough for his knuckles to turn white. But he was so warm, it’s all you could think about. All you wanted was to be warm, nodding blindly to whatever Ren said to do. 

Plug your phone in, check. 

Let him talk to your mom, check. 

Draw a bath for you, check. 

Climb in the bath with you, double-check. 

It wasn’t until you were defrosted in the clawfoot tub that you realized you were naked with him. 

Rens chest against your back, holding you like his life depended on it. Judging by his shaking, you both were probably suffering from acute hypothermia. You had been silent for so long your voice spooked him a little, “Thank you.” 

He hummed into your hair, which was sitting on top of your head in a messy bun. “Are you okay?” 

You nodded slowly, “Can we go lay down?” 

“Yeah,” Ren hastily got out of the tub, draining it and wrapping you in plush towels. You were still too cold to blush from your nakedness, not how you pictured this going. You imagined you would finally give into him on some drunken party night, barely remembering his reaction to seeing you nude. 

But now he had seen you half-frozen, forced to cradle you back to life. 

------

You squinted from your cocoon, greeted by a dimly lit room. 

One spare lamp on a dingy-looking nightstand, well it wasn’t terrible. It was better than your nightstand in your dorm room… where was your dorm room anyway? 

Something vibrated behind you, followed by a heavyweight sprawling against your back. 

You held your breath, you were in a hotel. 

With a stranger. 

“Shit,” you whispered. 

Okay, you could wiggle out of here. You took a moment to study the room, there was the lamp from before, and some curtains on a metal rod in the far corner. If you managed to get out without being detected you could knock out the assailant. 

“You smell so good.” 

More weight settled on you, now you were trapped. This bear was closing in, who knows what happened while you were asleep! All you could remember was falling asleep at your dorm after the upsetting trip to the airport, then being dragged away. 

Your fingers burning when you tried to use them, being shoved in a car… 

Kylo. 

“Kylo?!” 

“Mhm.” 

You threw your arms up, successfully throwing him off you and the covers. Your limbs screaming at the sudden movement, you were still suffering from the cold. Next to you, curled in a ball, totally catlike, was Ren. 

A sleepy smile gracing his lips, hands curled under his cheek, and legs moving towards his chest, Like a child under a blanket. You gasped when you saw he was naked, “Fuck!” 

You were too. 

“What the fuck, Ren!?” 

“Stop yelling,” you watched his hand bat his nose like an animal, “Come back, you were warm.” 

You huffed, flailing off the bed in search of your bags. 

Memories flooding back to you, he took you here after saving your life. 

The bath. 

Ugh, bad time to remember your kiss the night before. 

Ren sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes and blinking slowly. You flushed red when you looked between his legs, shit. How does he walk around with that? Is that why he has bad posture? You choked on your spit when he spread his legs out. 

Sprawling completely on the mattress like he wasn’t in a room with a stranger. 

“Snow hasn’t stopped,” Ren yawned, snapping a hand and pointing between his legs, “Come back.” 

“I’m not doing anything until you have clothes on.” 

He rolled his eyes, now looking you up and down. Focusing on your bare tits, swinging around with your erratic movements. You watched him lick his lips, wagging his eyebrows, “Come on, don’t you want to sit back on the bed?”

You shook your head, crouching down to your bag. Trying to not flash him more of your goods, but that didn’t work. Not with him leaning to the side of the bed to make a show of him peeping on you. 

A wolfish grin splitting his face, “You have a nice ass.” 

“Can you stop,” you huffed, tugging on some sweats you found. 

Ren made a pouting noise when you stood, pushing his bottom lip out while you threaded your arms through a t-shirt. You shivered a little-it was still freezing in the room. Probably from the weather, it sounded like it got worse… hopefully this place would keep power. 

You looked back at the bed, Ren was still manspreading. One of his large paws crawling towards his cock, watching you with the same smirk. He let out a soft sigh when he touched himself, eyes momentarily shutting in bliss. 

“Do you have to do that with me here?” 

He cracked an eye open, “Do you have to be that far away?” 

You scoffed, moving to the corner of the room. Shivering since you were near the window, you plopped down in the cheap armchair. Ignoring the sounds of his fist gliding along his cock, you tucked your feet under your body. Humming a tune to ignore the arousal growing between your legs, there was no way you were caving to him. 

What kind of man does that with a complete stranger present!? 

More importantly, why was it turning you on? 

“Come here,” he whistled, you spared a glance at him. Blushing profusely at the sight, his cock was now fully erect. Standing tall and proud, tip flushed almost purple from want. You quickly looked away, trying to swallow down the drool that gathered in your mouth. 

What would happen if you gave in? 

Not like it would hurt you… he looked so delicious. 

“If I come over there, what's gonna happen,” you whispered, determined to stay put.

With a deep breath, the mattress groaned under his weight, probably leaning back to get comfortable. He seemed to love you being there, watching him, or trying not to. Ren made a small non-committal scoff, “Whatever you want to happen, baby.” 

“Don’t call me that, you know my name.” 

“Meow.” 

Your head snapped towards him, met with his grin. “Come on-you really want me to do this by myself?” he waved his cock, fist tight around the base. You rolled your eyes, training your eyes to focus on the least attractive part about him. 

You were coming up empty, all you could stare at was his cock. 

The prominent vein along the underside thrumming in time with his heartbeat. You could practically feel it along your tongue, rigid and stiff. Slowly, you stood from the chair, met with a soft whine from Ren. Eying your hungrily as you sauntered over, you planted a knee in the mattress. 

Between his legs, which were spread obscenely wide, he licked his lips in anticipation. 

“If I help you, are you going to be nicer to me?” 

He nodded, chest taking in sharp breaths. You slowly leaned back on your heels, stripping your top off, despite him seeing you naked earlier. Surprised when he bit his bottom lip, watching you play with your tits, rolling them in the palm of your hand. Just to make him squirm a bit, “I’ll be nicer, whatever you want.” 

“I’m really cold still,” you spoke softly, making sure to lean in close enough to graze his lips with your own before pulling away, “Can you help warm me up?” 

“Yes,” Ren's hands shot out, kneading your flesh a few times. Debating to grasp your tits or the small of your waist, like a kid in a candy store. So many options, but you didn’t want to wait. If you were doing this, it would be about you.

“Eat me out.” 

He stilled, cocking a brow, “Excuse me?” 

“You heard me,” you exhaled on his neck, being sure to drag your kitty claws along his chest. Briefly grazing his nipples, savoring the way he gasped. “Eat me out, if you make me cum, I’ll let you fuck me. Like the desperate slut you are.” 

Ren scowled for a moment, nudging your face from his neck. Eyes dancing across your face before capturing your lips, moaning softly in your mouth, “I can make you cum so hard you’ll never want another man again.” 

You placed a soft kiss, rolling onto your back dramatically. Splaying your legs wide, “If that's true, why do you fuck a different girl every week?” 

He growled at you, actually growled. 

Hands no longer soft in their quest to memorize your skin, instead Ren pinned your legs hard enough for them to pop. Making you squeal from the stretch, “How fast do you think I can make you cum? Hm?” 

Before you could answer, he dove in. 

Lips wrapping around your clit and suckling fast, tongue flicking out every few seconds. You were already bucking up to meet him, but his firm hold kept you flush. While his tongue began to lap thick stripes along the seam of your pussy. Briefly hooking the tip into your entrance, both of you moaning when he tasted your wetness. 

“Shit-Kylo!” 

“Mm,” his voice vibrated against your clit, continuing his assault until you choked on your spit. You buried your fingers in his hair, keeping him in that right spot. “I’m so fucking close,” you cried out, pleading his name over and over and over. 

“You know,” he popped off, smacking his lips that were glistening with your cum, “I’d rather you cum on my cock.” 

“Wait-” 

Ren flipped you onto your chest, yanking your hips into the air. You barely had time to take a breath before he shoved his cock inside you. His breath hitched as he sank to the hilt, you groaned at the stretch. Now this, this you could get used to.

He pulled out slowly, you heard him swear under his breath. Leaving just the tip of his cock inside and ramming his hips into yours. Pulling a loud scream from your lungs, Ren chuckled at that. Pumping his cock at a rough pace, “Shh-you’re going to upset our neighbors.” 

You huffed, cheap shot, angling your hips a little so his cock would rub up against your front wall. Moaning when he picked up the pace, skin slapping skin. Ren leaned over your form, planting a hand on the headboard to keep it from knocking. You weakly lifted your head, clenching at the sight of his knuckles turning white. 

All you could do was sit and take it, revealing in the bliss you’d denied yourself for four months. 

-------

Ren dropped you both off at the airport two days later. 

You spent three days together, fucking each other's brains out. 

Choking on his cock while he was brushing his teeth, eating you out while you read through your newsfeed. Bouncing on his cock while he fed you breakfast, you didn’t need to change clothes the entire vacation. 

But you wanted to go home and were thankful for the storm ending so you could head home. It was a little awkward, Ren wasn’t very excited about the snow stopping. It felt like he was trying to stall you leaving but reluctantly listened to your desire to fly home. 

“Got everything?” he mumbled, hitching his backpack over his shoulder. The two of you were waiting in the TSA line, about to part ways to head home. You nodded, giving him a tight smile before stepping up on your own. 

Ignoring the feeling of his eyes on the back of your head. 

Both of you stood awkwardly after making it through, “Well-my gates over here,” you pointed behind you. Ren hummed in acknowledgment, kicking at the ground instead of looking at you. 

“Thanks for letting me crash with you,” you tried again, still nothing. 

You groaned, spinning on your heel. Back to being an asshole, you were kicking yourself for thinking he would be nicer. All he wanted was some pussy, and you willingly gave into him when you should’ve remained strong. 

Your parents picked you up back at home, lots of tears and laughs were shared. Thankful that you made it home without freezing, your mom was grateful for your friend who saved your life. She wanted to call him and tell him how much she appreciated it but you shrugged it off, he was just being nice. He wasn’t your boyfriend or anything, you left out the part that he was the neighbor you always complained about. 

Collapsing on your bed felt surreal like you would wake up and be back in the hotel room at any moment. It was odd not sleeping next to him, you had grown accustomed to his clingy arms. Circling you in the middle of the night when he thought you were dead asleep, smelling your hair before tucking you into his naked chest. 

You tossed and turned all night, groaning when you were woken by your siblings to get up the next morning. Barely sleeping a wink, you resolved to take a nap later to try and not spoil your trip back home. 

At breakfast, your mom yelled at you from the kitchen. 

“Hey hon, someone’s calling you!” 

“Just answer it,” you groaned through a mouthful of cereal. Briefly hearing your mother answer in a typical chipper tone, stalling mid-sentence before she yelled again, “It’s someone named Kyle?” 

Shit, you shot to the kitchen. 

Snatching the phone and escaping to the living room where no one was hiding. 

“Kylo?” 

Hey, didn’t think you’d answer.

“How’d you get my number?” 

Took it while you were napping the other day, I knew you wouldn’t give it to me willingly.

You rolled your eyes, “Alright creeper, what’s up?” 

Just wanted to talk or whatever, felt weird not to. 

Silence. 

Are you gonna let me buy you coffee when we are back?

“You were being serious about that?” 

A scoff. 

Yeah-or we could just fuck again if that’s all you want from this. 

“Coffee sounds good.” 

Cool. Cool. 

It’s a date. 

-------

TAGGING: @finn-ray-nal-beads @onlykyloscenes @candycanes19 @historyandfandoms50 @caelum-phyriina-vermillon @ghoulian13 @mrs-kylo-ren @millenialcatlady @relationshipwithmybed @dancingmicrobes @wayward-rose  @contesa-lui-alucard @daydreamsofren @insufferablelust @ohdamnadamm @mariesackler @caillea @safarigirlsp @jalexunderthestars @shesakillerkween @glassythoughts @zimmermansbrat @not-the-teen-witch @jynzandtonic @roanniom @celestiasin @glassbxttless @cornmousequeen @driversmutbucket @blowthatpieceofjunk

[bokunosoul]

overhaul with a sibling who's a lot like yushiro from demon slayer? how would he react if they were attending ua behind his back? love that there's another demon slayer fan!

Overhaul reacts to brother reader that is like Yushiro from Demon slayer attending UA behind his back

TW : Human trafficking, mentions of blood

So lets set this scene, you are basically Overhaul's brother and you lived under his control you also have no freedom and has no idea what is the outside world is like.

One time you disobeyed you ended up being on the surgerical bed and all day long and he tortured you almost to d̶e̶a̶t̶h̶ he also injected a couple of illegal medicines on you.

You and eri are also in the same boat.He conducted many researches and experiments on both of your bodies and sells the drugs that he made on both of you in the black market.

You are also Eri's caretaker since the day she was brought in the yakuza - mansion.Yoy the one she can rely on the even in hardest times even though when she can't express her feelings well.

You actually also dont know about you and Eri's quirk that much.But your "so called" brother said that it is powerful and they both needed you on his league.

Days, weeks, months passed you had enough and decided to take along Eri with you to escape.You conducted a whole plan to escape.Thankfully your observant and know the basics on how to make an sleeping pill.

Every night your brother commands you to make him food smth like that.You, an pharmaceutical genius ended up drugging him without noticing.

T̶o̶o̶ b̶a̶d̶.He's too sharp.

You ended up running with Eri while Overhaul commands his team to capture you and the scared little girl.

The last thing you know is you and Eri getting surrounded by overhauls underlings.You started fighting back even without knowing what exactly how your quirk works.Blood and several broken bones is the consequences that you received.

Your in the verge of giving up, you were naive and weak as an 12 year old boy protecting an 3 year old girl.

Then suddenly you exploded blood and several human organs surrounded the whole shie-hassaikai base also the scared little girl's screamed echoed throught the base.

But why, why can you still feel your whole body even when your dead.The last thing you knew Eri was taken away and everyone was disposing of your blood and your body.

Your body ended up getting thrown to the river carelessly, your body that has been exploded piece by piece also ended up regenerating and ended up being normal again.You also don't feel pain.So you thought.This is my quirk huh?

A sigh of relief and hot blood comes rushing in through your veins as you ended up not being able to bring Eri along with you.

You did not cried at all.Crying is pointless and staying like this is also worthless.

The thing that first comes into mind is you going to turn yourself in to the child welfare services.You introduced yourself as an child sold by your family and you also introduced yourself with an fake name to hide your real identity.

You ended up being adopted by an family living in the city.You don't care at all as you long you can have revenge and save your sister and you will together escape this madness again.

You also go to know how to use your quirk well and uncover many secrets about it.

Your adoptive parents also started noticing on how quite your good at using your quirk so they ended up home schooling you.They were shocked you were such an intelligent obedient child they also treated you like their own.

You feel kinda safe,warm and comfortable at the same time.You also can't help to feel bad and burdened on how you abandoned Eri.Your living in heaven while she's experiencing hell.What a good brother you are you asked to yourself.

3 years passed you basically got into UA due to hardwork and determination You became also strong and your appearance drastically changed.

Meanwhile everyone UA aims to be number one and your goal is to save your sister from your pathethic brother.You also kept an low profile of yourself to hide your existence.

You actually ended up getting along with most of the class especially to Midoriya.You dont know why because he just gives the scent that you can trust him and he's a good person.

Also the girls in the class likes you because you respect them and also beat that little shit up by being a huge pervert.(if you know you know)

Time passes by and eventually their will be an upcomming event, the UA sports festival.Everyone in the class is excited meanwhile you are anxious, your identity will exposed and all your hardwork will go down the drain.

It does'nt matter,your much stronger and confident now.The sports festival came to an end and everyone gathered at the classroom for an sudden meeting. To be honest you did great on the event but you did not manage to get through the top 3 rankings.

You ended up getting an reccomendation to a hero agency.You accepted the reccomendation and it was basically for a month to get better and stronger.

Everything happened so fast, you ended up getting an reccomendation and accepting it and getting attacked by the villains.So UA decided to just make an dorm system to make sure that the students are safe at all times.

Aizawa announced that there will be an hero internship and you ended up getting back to the agency that trained you a few months ago.

Everyday is like usual you did multiple patrols, go to school to study and mostly can't sleep in the night.

You and so as the others like uraraka, tsuyu, midoriya, kirishima ended up being summoned at Nighteye's agency.

Their were many pro heroes as well your teacher, Aizawa is here.You can sense that the situation is quite serious and Midoriya and Mirio is acting weird and you can also sense fear in them.

Nighteye's sidekick bubble girl and centipeder explained that there is a villain on the loose.You lost your complexion, you felt sick and scared.All of your memories in hell projected throughout your head "Y/N - san are you okay? your complexion does'nt seem too good." tsuyu said in an concerned voice.

You replied, that your okay and you said that you've never ever seen something brutal.

As they've continue on nighteye mentioned that overhaul or also known as kai chisaki has an daughter.

You snapped and standed up while shaking " What seems to be your problem Mr.L/N?" nighteye said in his intimidating voice,everyone was staring at you like your crazy.

"I-i have something to confess." you said as your voice trembled

"And what is that?"

"My brother is Overhaul."

"Y/N - san you must be mistake----."

"NO! YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOUR GETTING INTO, AND THE WORST CASE SCENARIO IF YOU GOT SHOT BY THOSE DRUG YOUR QUIRK WILL BE DESTROYED AND WORSE SOMEONE WILL DIE!" you yelled and everyone stared at you with disgusted faces and even in disbelief

"So your saying that your in hands with Overhaul or your so called brother?"

"No... I tried escaping with Eri but she was taken away and my body exploded in pieces and my body parts ended up being thrown carelessly through the river,thanks to my quirk i can basically regenerate and create an new identity.However i did not accomplished on taking her with me.AND DONT YOU DARE IMPLY MYSELF WITH THAT MANIPULATIVE PATHETHIC MAN DONT YOU KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE BEING TORTURED EVERYDAY?EVERYDAY IS HELL AND IF WE MAKE A MISTAKE ONE FLICK OF THAT BULLET YOUR BASICALLY AN DEADMAN WALKING!AND I HATE SEEING PEOPLE DIE IN HIS HANDS!" you yelled in frustration.

Your classmates, stared at you in disbelief you are the most calm and composed person in every situation but in this situation, they did not know that you we're in despair.

"S-sorry, with that said.He thinks that i'm dead but no and i'm not affiliated with him anymore, plus the last time we saw eachother is 3 years ago."

"So please, i beg you save my sister she's all i have." you said as you bowed to the ground showing pure respect.

Nighteye sighed and he said he saw that coming and commanded you to tell everything that he did to you amd Eri and about their Yakuza gang.He also said to keep an distance and do not fight in the infiltration of their base.He also said to Aizawa to protect you.You agreed, it's the least thing that you can do to help in this kind of situation.

The day comes and you were basically watched by Aizawa eyes wide open (Lmao i just remembered i cant stop me and cry for me #Once #Twice).

You ended up not taking it anymore and sneaking out of the UA teacher dorm without anyone noticing.

You have no problem in making it through the base but you have to fight multiple of villains tho.You ended up seeing the sight of the ruined base and seeing your brother and Mirio fighting over the little girl.

"OVERHAUL!" you yelled in your booming voice as you've appear in the darkness wearing your hero suit .

"R/N?ah, so your alive?" he said in disbelief .

"Yes?so?my dear pathethic brother also known as overhaul."

"Too bad i shot him already." he said as he pointed at Mirio's struggling limp body as Eri just covered herself with his scrapped cape.

You ended up fighting him one on one.You knew that he was strong and powerful and so are you.

The last thing you knew was going all out with your quirk and passing out to the ground and you were in the hospital getting treated by recovery girl.

A few hours later you received the news that everyone in the Yakuza got arrested but Overhaul got taken away by the league of villains,Mirio ended up getting shot by the quirk destroying drug and ended up loosing his quirk.

Lastly sir nighteye got killed due to the bad injury that he got whilst fighting him.On the good side Eri was taken custody of and is doing well in the hospital together with Mirio and Deku.

You sighed in contentment and walked in your hospital clothes in the hallway trying to find her hospital room.

Your heart started racing and you saw the letter engraved "ERI" you finally mustered up the courage into opening the door.You saw Deku and Mirio playing with her

"Y/N - chan your here!" Deku said enthusiatically.

The little girl hids on her sheets when she thought that you were a bad person along with Aizawa.Mirio said that it is okay and you two are their teacher and a school mate.

"Eri - chan do you remember me?" you said on your soft voice she immidiately remembers that familliar voice, her eyes widened and ended up throwing her arms onto your embrace crying.

"R/N!"

"You do remember me!Your okay now your safe,nii-san is here to protect you and will not leave you alone." you said sobbing while hugging the little girl she nodded and you two just stayed like there for a while.

Deku and Mirio : 🥺 (Lmao you to scootch along i'm her real brother🔪).

And finally the hospital visit is over and they allow you to visit her along with Deku and Mirio during weekends on the hospital.

You also apologized to Midoriya and Mirio for meddling the middle of the fight.Instead they thanked you and if you were not there they would've ended up dead.

A few weeks later she can finally get out of the hospital and ended up being in Aizawa's care in the teacher's dorm in UA.Since you trusted him you allowed him to take care of her.

You also take care of her when Aizawa is not around along with Deku and Mirio in the dorms.

The whole class is also shocked in how much your attitude and behavi reverses when Eri's around.They were like : 🧐,🤭,🥰,😍,🤩,😱 is that even possible HShsgsh.

You also learned how to cook and teach Eri how to read and learn you also play with her ofc.

You also became more confident, and a .Lmao the look on your face when bakugo called you an Tsundere.And you said in the most murderous voice ever "DIE." then Eri comes in like : 🙁🗿.

"I said i will DYE my hair later pink HAHAHHAHAH😃." you said jokingly.

Everyone was like : 👁️👄👁️ Meanwhile eri's just : yea im down with that face with a small nod and a smile***

Mina aswell as the others ended up taking the joke seriously and you ended up having a pink hair color the next day to school.

Monoma said that you looked pretty u̶g̶l̶y̶ he ended up getting beat up by kendo.(SHHSHSHEHE LMAO😂).

Shoto thinks it's cool HAHAHHAHA.

Eri said that she likes it and it looks nice to you.Iida and Aizawa lets you slide disobeying the school rules just this ONCE he just wants to see the little girl happy.

The reaction on your adoptive families face when you told them that you have a sister is priceless.They we're like : " i guess we need to adopt another one." S̶i̶k̶e̶.

Note : the gif is not mine a̶n̶d̶s̶o̶a̶r̶e̶y̶o̶u̶

💌 : OMGGG THANKS FOR REQUESTING AGAIN!✨Sorry it took too long hehehe anyways! i'm stoked to see that you also watch Demon slayer! it's really an good anime and i'm looking forward in the movie that will be released!the animation will be so sick😫✨💥.

ORIGINALLY by : bokunosoul

[atsukashii]

❝snow day❞  // k. bakugou

SYNOPSIS: �� You and your boyfriend make the most of the first snowfall of winter - but both of your competitive sides makes it a disaster.

» CHARACTER PAIRING: katsuki bakugou x fem!reader

» WORD COUNT: 2.3K

» GENRE: @bnhabookclub​ bingo slot snowball fight

» WARNINGS: swearing, mentions of broken bones & fluff to the max

« masterlist || ao3 »

“Oh my god!” You cry out, excitedly springing from your bed as soon as your eyes lock onto the white flakes fluttering down from the clouds outside.

Its finally snowing!

You run out of your dorm room, still clothed in your pyjamas and sprint towards Bakugou’s room, only stopping when you pass a window and you notice the world outside. The snow-covered world outside. It hadn’t just started snowing it had been coming down all night. Because outside of the building, the grounds of U.A had become a winter wonderland. 

You don’t hold in your squeals of excitement as you charge down the hall, your fluffy socks skidding you to a stop outside your boyfriend’s room. 

“Katsu, Katsu, Katsu!” You sing as you barge into his room. You don’t even give him a chance to reply or wake up, before you throw yourself on his bed, next to his sleeping figure. 

“What the hell?!” He snaps startled, his hair matted to his forehead, and his ruby eyes still slightly glazed with sleep. Once his brain catches up with the sudden awakening, and he realises it’s you, Katsuki lets out a groan and flops back down onto his pillow.

“What do you want?”

“It’s snowing Katsu!” You squeal unable to hold in the excitement any more, pointing to the curtain covered window above his bed. Rolling over onto his forearms, the blonde practically hisses as you yank back the curtain, letting the light in. Squinting at the outside world, he has the audacity to turn back to you with a raised eyebrow.

“So? It’s winter dumbass. Of course it’s snowing.” He says, laying back down and placing an arm under his head and closing his eyes. You pout at your boyfriend and look back out to the snow. 

Winter has been your favourite season since you were a child. It could be partially due to your quirk being the ability to manipulate ice and snow, but it also stems from the memories you and your parents created when you were a child. Building snowmen, making snow angels, having snowball fights and then there’s hot cocoa, warm mittens and beanies… What wasn’t there to love about winter?!

Glancing back at Bakugou again, your eyes can’t help but be drawn to his bicep that’s just right there for you to appreciate due to his love of singlets, even in winter. Okay so maybe there is one bad side about winter - the fact that he can’t wear that outside. Summer was also right up there with your favorite season, but that favoritism probably had more to do with your boyfriend’s infinite amount of tanks and his drool-worthy muscles. Thank god for summer.

No y/n, focus! Winter, and snow... Snow!!!

Looking back outside, childish giddiness floods your bones at the view. You need to get out there. Now. Suddenly an idea pops into your head and you lean down over your boyfriend who is currently faking to be asleep.

“Hey, Katsu?” He groans in response, but opens one ruby eye, just enough to show you an expression of pure annoyance, but you also see the warmth that is there when you’re with him. “Do you want to build a snowman?” The question earns you a pillow to the face before his warm arms wrap around you, pulling you to lay on his chest. Okay, this isn’t too bad either.

“No.” Is all he says, closing his eyes and letting out a relaxed breath. It is a Saturday after all, and is the one day of the week that he lets himself sleep in late - not that 7 am is late by any means.

“What about a snowball fight?” You say, trying again. You really really want to go outside, and to have Katsuki there too would just make the memory so much sweeter.

“I’m not having a fucking snowball fight with you y/n.” Placing your hands on his chest, you push up from him, pouting and giving him the harshest glare you can muster. The amusement flickering to life in his eyes suggests that it’s not intimidating at all, but he’s also Katsuki and hence can be an asshole so his opinion on the matter is bias.

“Fine.” Standing up from his bed, you head towards the door. “If you won’t, then I suppose Kirishima and Kaminari will be more than happy to join in.” You call out over your shoulder. The two boys in question having become your very close friends since even before you started to date Katsuki not even a year ago. And that friendship was a tool you used frequently to make things go your way when it came to your boyfriend. That was not to say you were manipulative, not at all - for he did the same thing to you, but he could just lift you over his shoulder and carry you wherever he wanted to. Seeing as you weren’t close to your boyfriend’s height, or anywhere near as strong, picking you up and leaving was his best tactic to get you to do what he wanted. And this was yours, along with using his competitiveness against him, but seeing as you were both very competitive, this often backfired.

You hadn’t even made it to the door when you heard him grumble.

“Fuck those too shitty haired bastards. I’ll meet you downstairs in five. If you’re not there I’m leaving.” He says, rising from his bed, already walking to his ensuite. You are grinning and he points a finger at you accusingly, his still sleep crusted eyes narrowing.

“No squealing, it’s too fucking early.” So instead, you hop up and down before interrupting his walk to the bathroom and placing a kiss on his cheek. He grumbles in response, but the smile on his lips says otherwise about his “displeasure” of the surprise kiss. You don’t wait another second before running out of his room and back towards your own, knowing full well that if you’re late, the opportunity will pass. 

❄ ❄ ❄

Both you and Katsuki were very competitive people, which was a reason that you two got along so well. You were constantly pushing yourself to be better, not just than the other, but you were nurturing in your ways that helped the other be better. So really, when it came down to things like a normal snowball fight, they didn’t exist.

It was a match to the death.

“No quirks,” Bakugou says, calling out across the front yard of your dorm building. You gape at your rugged up boyfriend and his crappy rules, as he is currently using his quirk to warm his hands.

“That’s a crap rule Katsuki!” You argue, bending down and finish an extra layer of padding to your ice wall that you will most likely have to hide behind at one point. These matches were going to be full-on, there would be no prisoners and no giving up. 

“Deal with it, princess.” Your face flushes at the nickname, and in your moment of weakness from the surprise pet name, you almost are unable to dodge the snowball aimed perfectly at your face. Pivoting just in time, you glare at your boyfriend who stands there, tossing another snowball carelessly in his hand - a feral grin on his face.

“I wasn’t aware that I was dating a cheater.” You growl, grabbing a snowball from your small already made pile, pretending to aim it at him.

“Didn’t know I was dating a coward. You going to just hold it there, or throw it, princess?” Katsuki teases. The smug smirk on his face has your blood boiling in the best way, and the urge to make his snowball hit him in the face is almost too much. Maybe later.

“Oh, you’re on cheating bastard!” You shout before sending a snowball his way. 

You two are ruthless, and your battle almost lasts an entire hour. At one point, Kirishima comes out of the dorms, asking to join in, and only gets a snowball to the face from Katsuki in response. The redhead retaliates by ‘accidentally’ stepping on part of Bakugou’s snow wall, earning a squawk of outrage from the blonde, and then a snowball to the face from you.

To be honest, at this rate, you’re not even sure who’s winning, all you know is that that you’ve been cornered by Katsuki’s relentless fire for a few minutes. How the hell does he make snowballs so fast? You know you need to make more and fast before he walks over here and forces your surrender.

No. I will not surrender, it is victory or death!

You scramble to make a small pile of snowballs when a villainous chuckle comes from behind you.

“Any last words princess?” Bakugou whispers into your ear, and your heart is thundering so loud you barely hear him.

“Kiss my ass!” You say the adrenaline making your mouth move before you can think, but your response only earns another smug laugh from the looming figure behind you. 

“Very well. Now die!” Spinning towards him you watch almost in slow motion as he raises his arm, ready to peg the ice-ball at your face, but the second it leaves his hands, you throw your hands up instinctively in front of your face to protect you from the incoming slaughter. However, the impact never comes, or at least to you. 

“Fuck!” Looking through your fingers, you see Katsuki wiping snow from his face and you realise almost too late that you accidentally...may have used your quirk... Katsuki looks at you with a deadly glare, and if you weren’t already sitting down, your legs would have probably turned to jelly. What is normally a look that you find very attractive on your boyfriend, now successfully has you fearing for your life.

“Did you just use your damn quirk on me y/n?” He used your full name. Yeah, you’re screwed. You don’t even respond before using your hand to flick snow up at him as a distraction, before sprinting away from the grumbling blonde like your ass is on fire. “You’re dead princess!” You are running as if your life depends on it. Because with Katsuki, right now it does. Your arms pumping, heart-pounding in your ears, but you know it’s all for nothing when you hear the familiar pops of Katsuki’s quirk.

Jesus Christ you’re going to die! 

You make the typical horror movie mistake and look over your shoulder, to see Bakugou approaching quickly, using his quirk to fly him through the air towards you. It’s not the fact that you look over your shoulder that makes you trip, or maybe it is. But you’re going to blame it on the grin that covers Bakugou’s face, that is full of so much happiness, it has your brain short-circuiting for a second long enough for you to forget how to run and for you to hit the ground like a sack of potatoes.

“Y/n!” Is all you hear before a resounding crack echoes through your ears.

Oh crap.

❄ ❄ ❄

You sit on the bed in the infirmary, Katsuki next to you, who glares at the bandage on your arm as if it has physically harmed him. You want to laugh, but the second the door opens and your homeroom teacher walks in, any source of amusement leaves the room so fast.

Mr Aizawa looks between the two of you before letting out an exhausted sigh. This wasn’t the first time that you and Bakugou’s competitive natures resulted in one of you ending up with a visit to recovery girl. But normally it was just a scratch or a cut - so a compound fracture was a new escalation.

“To say I’m surprised would be a lie.” Your teacher says before frowning at you two. “Rest that up, and next time you decide to have warfare on the dorm lawn, please refrain from injuring each other. Recovery Girl is not here to heal wounds created from stupidity.” Mr Aizawa finishes before sending you on your way.

Side by side, you and Katsuki walk back towards the dorms, the dull throb of your now recovered arm forgotten when he slips his hand into your uninjured one. “You’re a real dumbass you know that? What idiot trips over their own feet and breaks their arm?” Katsuki huffs at you. “I was blinded.” You shrug, the adrenaline from earlier is still pumping in your blood, as well as your pure happiness from the day so far. Suddenly your arm is pulled until it almost pops out of its pocket as Katsuki draws you towards him.

“What the fuck you talking about?” He questions, thoroughly confused. The giddy smile and bubbling excitement of the day’s events emerges back on your face as you look up at the blonde.

“I was blinded by your smile.” It’s corny and cringe and you know he’ll act as if he despises it.

“I’m breaking up with you.” But the smile that covers his face, one that he shows when he knows that no one can see his reaction, tells you otherwise -  he loves it.

“Who would put up with your homicidal tendencies then?” You reply, placing your injured hand on his cheek, the small movement not causing it any pain. Katsuki watches you for a moment as if assessing whether that hurt you, before he tilts his head and places a gentle kiss to your wrapped palm, then cups your jaw and places a soft kiss to your lips. Sparks flush down your spine at the contact, and you can’t help but place an extra chaste kiss against his pink lips when he pulls back ever so slightly. “Thank you for today,” your voice is a whisper against his lips.

“You’re lucky I love you, princess.” Katsuki sighs, tucking you under his arm as you finally reach the front doors of the building, trying to protect you from the cold outside.

“I love you too Katsu.”

The broken arm was worth it.

Best snow day ever.

©️ 2020 all rights reserved to atsukashii, do not change, edit, translate, or repost any works on any platform.

[otptings]

Life Goes On

→Idols: Wong Kunhang & Xiao Dejun

→Requested: Yessss Hi!!! I’m a new follower and literally fell in love with your writing ^o^ May I request an angsty right person at the wrong time scenario with either Xiaojun or Hendery, thank you!

→Genre: Right Person Wrong Time, angst, fluff

→Word Count: 2.7k+

→Warnings: self degradation, implied cheating, Hendery's an asshole, Xiao's a savior, kinda self indulgent (apologies)

→Synopsis: Life's not far. You either have to learn how to swim or drown in your own misery.

→A/n: I honestly surprised myself when I finished this cause I'm actually behind on a couple requests but I really enjoyed writing this. I hope you enjoy reading this, and if you did please like, reblog or donate to my Ko-Fi in my bio. Requests are open for NCT, Enhypen, SVT, and Treasure.

Life isn’t fair, and it isn’t always right. Things don’t end the way you want them to, and no amount of begging or wishing or sacrificing will change fate. So you can only sit there, watch as life moves on without you in it. You either learn how to swim or drown in your own misery.

You swam.

Wong Kun-Hang, you’re child-hood bestfriend. The two of you met long ago. Back when the biggest problems were early bedtimes, or begging your parents for the newest toys. When scraped knees and torn tights were a constant part of your life. In the 2nd grade when he was the new kid, you were too nervous to talk to him so you gave him a special Valentine’s Day card, the one with the carton fish with the really funny joke on it that made you giggle while you were placing various heart stickers on it, accompanied by two pieces of candy instead of one. One of your parents had helped you sign it specially with your name, not just your initials. Although it was scribbled it was still readable. You were nervous walking up to his desk, fixing your school uniform as best you could before shyly handing it to him, trying to hide the heat that was rising in your cheeks and ears.

“Hi.” Kun-Hang looked up at you, a look matching yours on his face. You saw his paper bag for his cards was bare, Kun-Hang covering the front of it in the teacher’s cursive due to him not having time to decorate it. It was empty, devoid of any Valentines, and he hadn’t brought any to give out so he didn’t even have his own. It was sad compared to yours, filled almost to the brim with cute cards and candy.

“Hi.” Hendery’s voice was almost a whisper. He wasn’t prepared for anyone to talk to him, he had only been in your class for a week and hadn’t had enough time to make friends.

“I want to be your friend. Here’s a Valentine’s card.” Where you ignored the heat in your cheeks it was obvious to see Kun-Hang’s awkward smile adorning his face as his cheeks glowed a light red. It was too late to back down now, so you thrust the card out towards him and watched as he timidly took it before sending him a bright smile and scurrying off to your desk, the teacher’s voice telling the class to calm down.

You looked towards the teacher, patiently waiting for their instruction while Kun-Hang only looked at you, awe in his eyes while replaying the moment you walked up to.

Years have gone by since that fateful day that you handed him the card and declared that you wanted to be his friend and you’re still just as close. The day after Valentine’s Kun-Hang stayed by your side faithfully, sitting beside you at lunch and playing with you and your friends at recess. At first he was still awkward, not knowing just where he fit into your life, but everytime you held your hand out to him or handed him a spare cookie from your lunchbox he got a little more comfortable until you were connected at the hip.

As the friend group gradually grew smaller due to everyone else moving away or transferring schools, you and Kun-Hang stayed together, evolving into something more than just childhood best-friends. Shared cookies turning into something else just as sweet, innocent pecks when you thought no one else was watching, holding hands having a new meaning when he pulls you under the bleachers of your high school during your share P.E. class to hold you close  as he whispers his feelings for you. He was your perfect love story, your first and only boyfriend. Even now at 20, watching him live his dream life as an idol you still have the same feeling from the first time you met him, that bashful shy feeling as you watching him smile on stage and during fanmeets. The pretty diamond ring on your finger glinting in the various strobe lights they use for their concert, a comforting weight that makes your heart flutter when you think about the day that the two of you will get married.

Life always throws a wrench into pretty plans don’t though.

“It’s just not working out with her.” Confusion filled your mind hearing Hendery’s voice through the phone. Calling out his name gave you no answer. “She’s so clingy, she refuses to back off and give me any space.”

“Aren’t you getting married?”

“I don’t think I can go through with it. I don’t want to leave her at the altar though.”

“I thought you guys were perfect for eachother? Haven’t you been together since middle school?”

“I know, I know. I don’t think I ever liked her in that way. She’s my only relationship but I just don’t see her in that light. She’s more like an annoying little sister than a girlfriend.”

“You’re a fucking douchebag Hendery.”

“I know. She really loves me, but I don’t think I ever saw her romanctically. She was the only option. I really don’t want to ruin the friendship, but I don’t love her.”

You don’t remember hanging up the phone. Or sending him the message.

You accidentally called me, you don’t have to be miserable just to make me happy. I’m sorry I couldn’t be good enough for you.

I didn’t want you to find out this way. I really do like you, you’re my best friend.

But you don’t love me the way that I love you

I’m sorry.

Don’t be sorry. Goodbye Hendery.

-

Hendery couldn’t ignore the smile that grew on his face, the heavy feeling over his chest lifting.

“What happened to you? Why are you so happy?” Ten questioned while chewing on the cookie he stole from Kun, slight concerned at how over the span of a half hour Hendery’s expression could go from forlorn over the thought of the wedding to ecstatic as he jumped up from the couch, staring at his phone that was clenched tightly in his hand.

“She broke up with me.” His smile grew impossibly bigger while Xiao’s face dropped. “I accidentally called her while we were talking and she said we don’t have to be together.” If Hendery wasn’t so busy cheering about his new found freedom he would’ve felt how the tensions rose in the room, or saw how Xiao looked at him with disgust as he slid his engagement ring off of his finger and tossed it on the coffee table. As if it meant nothing to him.

“So you used her?” An uneasy silence settled over the room while Yangyang made a quick exit, not wanting to witness anything. Hendery’s smile swiftly disappeared at Xiao’s accusatory tone. “And you’re celebrating your ‘freedom’ while she’s heart broken?” A cold chuckle punctuated his statement.

“I didn’t mean for her to overhear the conversation. But she broke up with me. If she’s hurt it’s her fault.” Hendery tried to plead his case, looking around at his other groupmates that were present but they refused to meet his eyes, all sharing Xiao’s sentiments on the situation. “I never wanted her to fall in love with me.”

Xiao couldn’t ignore the way that his fist shook hearing Hendery say that. He was already angered hearing how casually Hendery talked about his lack of feelings, no remorse evident in his voice. Clenching his jaw to hide the obscenities and curses that he wanted to spout on each of Hendery’s weekly rants about your relationship. But hearing just how casually he used you and didn’t care, that was Xiao’s last straw.

“So you fucking used her, and are now blaming it on her?” The room went stilent and the tension was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. Xiao walked closer to Hendery, crossing the coffee table that kept them separated. Then he threw the first punch.

No one was expecting it, hearing the crack when Xiao’s fist connected with Hendery’s nose. Hendery didn’t have time to recover enough to retaliate before Lucas was picking Xiao off of his feet and hauling him out of the room. “Fucking stay away from her or I’ll fucking kill you.”

-

Xiao knew that it was stupid to fall for you, even dumber since you were head over heels in love with Hendery, someone who didn’t deserve even an ounce of you. He knew that you would never see him in that light, naively hung up on Hendery, so he did the next best thing. Become your friend.

Sure, he knew that he was only a rebound, only truly talking to you whenever Hendery was too busy - ignoring you - to entertain you, so you turned to Xiao. He knew that there was never way you would love him the way that he loved you, but he didn’t care. He’d be whatever you wanted him to be, even if it was perpetually stuck pining after you.

That’s the only explainable reason as to why he snuck out of the dorm after receiving the text from you.

I need you Dejun

It wasn’t hard to leave the dorm, Sicheng and Ten were too busy worrying about Hendery’s nose and if it was broken or not. All Xiao had to do was slip out of the front door. He didn’t bother asking the manager for a ride, walking would do just fine. Your apartment wasn’t too far from the dorm, there was no sweat off his back. Until the clouds broke open and it started to rain profusely when Xiao was only a block away from your apartment.

That explains why you answered the frantic knocking at your door to be met with a soaking wet Xiao, hair plastered to his forehead from the rain and shirt appearing like a second skin.

“What the hell happened? Come in, hurry.” Moving to the side you quickly pulled Xiao inside, feeling guilty at the way that he shook from the cold.

“It rained a little bit.” Despite the pain in your chest, and your eyes burning from the amount of tears that you had shed you couldn’t help but giggle.

“That’s an understatement. I’ll get you a towel and some clothes so you can change.”

Twenty minutes later the two of you were awkwardly facing eachother. You’ve never truly hung out by yourself, the boys were always a buffer between the two of you. The teddy bear that you were clutching against your chest being the only thing to separate you, your light pink blanket seeming almost childish with Xiao sitting on it. The gigantic hoodie that you stole from your brother draped over his frame, almost drowning him in the sheer amount of fabric.

“Are you okay?” He was the first to break the silence, eyes finally meeting yours and softening out of compassion. The sight of him pitying you caused the tears to prick at your eyes, glancing down while you absentmindely played with the fraying ends of the blanket.

“Why would I be? Hearing that my fiance didn’t love me. I was a burden to him our whole relationship. An annoying little sister.” Letting out a joyless chuckle at the irony of it all, a fiance that saw you as a little sister. You hadn’t realized that warm tears were falling down your cheeks, darkening the light pink fabric where they hit, littering it with drops of magenta. “How was I so stupid? I should’ve seen it comer when he started staying at the studio later and later when there was no comeback. Was he even staying at the studio? Was there someone else?” You looked up at Xiao, trying to blink away the blurry vision to find any answer for the questions you desperately asked. Xiao’s hand came up to cup your cheek, wiping the tears away. The sweet motion caused you to let out a sob, launching yourself into Xiao’s arm.

Xiao’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you onto his lap. You couldn’t be bothered to feel awkward or uncomfortable at the strange position, only burying your face into the hoodie and letting your tears soak the fabric. Xiao sighed, biting back his own emotions as he listened to you choke on your sobs, feeling your body shake with every wretched wail that left your mouth. All because of Hendery. If it weren’t for you clutching onto the fabric of the hoodie so tightly that it could rip out of fear of Xiao leaving he might’ve gone back to the dorm and broken Hendery’s jaw.

“He never deserved you.” Swallowing to hide the way that his voice attempted to crack Xiao continued, “ You are the sweetest, loveliest, gentliest, and purest person that I have ever met in my life. You care for everyone and everything no matter how small or significant they may seem. You loved Hendery with your whole heart, and he didn’t deserve to ever see that side of you.” Your sobbing had dissolved into meaningless sniffles, eyes still wet with tears as you listened to Xiao’s words.

“He’s the only person I’ve ever loved. I thought he was the one.”

“He wasn’t right for you. You’ll meet someone who is.” Xiao bit back the confession that he desperately wanted to say. He knew it wasn’t the right time. The two of you sat in a comfortable silence until the sounds of your stomach grumbling caused Xiao to sadly move you from his lap so that he could order the two of you food.

The silence remained even as the two of you ate, quietly munching as the ramen noodles brought a warmth back to you, hands shaking slightly from the after-cry headache that plagued you. Xiao grabbed your empty containers and bottles, throwing them away before appearing in your doorway again, wet clothes now wrapped in a bag.

“It’s pretty late. I’m going to go home.”

“You can stay. If you want.” The silence between the two of you was no longer comfortable.

“I’ll stay.”

If only you knew just how long he would.

-

“I’m so proud of you baby.” You whispered in his ear as he carried you back to the bedroom, adrenaline from WayV’s most recent win still coursing through his veins, if the way that he unlocked the front door and picked you up had anything to say about it.

“Owe it all to you. Always supporting me.” Both of you giggled as he hovered over you, hands on either side of your head while yours ran down his back, before tugging at the bottom of his sheer shirt, prompting him to take it off and throw it on the floor.

“Technically you started this two years ago by staying.” Xiao rolled his eyes before leaning down, placing a sweet kiss on your lips, barely giving you enough time to savor it before he was pulling away. Poking your lips out Xiao obliged, placing one, two, three more kisses before pulling away.

“I’m in love with you.” This wasn’t the first time he’s said it, but this confession made you burn from the inside out all the same. Heat rising up your neck all the way to your ears while butterflies pranced around in your stomach. Xiao’s eyes held the exact same emotion that they had two years ago when you asked him to stay that you now had a name for. It was pure adoration, and devotion. Love in simpler terms.

“I’m in love with you too.” Tangling your fingers into his hair you pulled him down into another kiss, a searing one deeper than the previous ones you had shared. His hand coming up and cupping your jaw caused you to pull away from the kiss, a bright smile on your face as you whispered two words that caused Xiao to kiss you until the both of you had to pull away for air in fear of suffocating. “Thank you.”

Sometimes, the right one get’s away to let a better one in. Thank you Hendery, you taught me how to love so I could love Xiao properly.

[unholyobsessions]

Take a sick day (or a dozen)

Pairing: Julie x Luke

Description: Five times Julie takes care of Luke and one time he returns the favor

Requested: Yes

A/N: For the first part technically, Luke should not have gotten the symptoms as quickly, it normally takes days, but let’s just pretend okay? let’s not worry about technicalities

Warnings: Sickness, light cursing

Word Count: 4.7k

Masterlist 

It’s the middle of July. Julie should be getting ready to go to college not taking care of her stupidly adorable little brother. Her dad is out of town photographing a wedding, so when Carlos comes down with Chicken Pox, she is stuck with nurse duty. 

Luke, her ever so caring boyfriend, offers to help her so that is why they are both running around the house, waiting on Carlos hand and foot. Julie keeps phoning the doctor every thirty minutes because Carlos still will not eat and Luke keeps replacing the cold towel on his forehead. 

What Luke forgot to mention when he offered to help was that he never got the Chicken pox as a child. After the third day Luke woke up, scratching at his arms and torso non stop, Julie starts getting worried. A few hours later she gets tired of seeing Luke not so subtly scratching again, so she grabs his arm and pulls up his sleeve. His arms are covered with blisters and Julie lets out a loud gasp. 

“You lied!” Julie exclaimed. 

Luke pulls his arms away from her grasp and raises them in defense. “Technically I didn’t lie. I did not know I never got chicken pox!.” He counters her accusation and Carlos, who is sitting between them, just glances back and forth between the two, highly amused by the interaction. 

“Go take a shower, I’ll go call the doctor and ask him what to do when an eighteen year old idiot gets chicken pox.” Julie huffed out, getting up from her crouched position beside the bed. 

Carlos and Luke stared after her and the former shook his head. “You’re lucky she loves you.” 

Luke let out a small laugh and pushed himself up. “Yeah I am.” 

Fifteen minutes later Luke is out of the shower and now running a high fever. The doctor reassures her that he would be fine and that she should just use the same medication that she has been giving Carlos. 

With that out of the way, Julie realizes that Luke is a giant baby. He complains more than Carlos and whines about the slightest inconvenience. It should be in her best interest to send him home and have his parents take care of him but she knows they both have full time jobs and cannot afford to take a week off to take care of him. So she muscles through it, running back and forth between Carlos’s room and her own room, where Luke is staying. 

It’s after midnight, two days later, and Carlos has already succumbed to the exhaustion so she is sitting next to her bed, placing a cold towel on Luke’s forehead, who had just been complaining that the room is too hot. A moment later, after he had taken his medicine he turns to look at her, a loving smile on his lips. 

“I love you so much. Thank you for putting up with my bullshit.” He says it so softly that she has to lean forward to hear him properly, but there is so much emotion in that statement that it makes her cheeks flush. 

“I would do it one hundred times over Luke, you know that,” she whispers, reaching a hand toward his, curling their fingers together. 

“I know, but still thank you. I know you would much prefer to spend the weekend shopping with Flynn.” That gets a laugh out of her and Luke smiles triumphantly. 

“You would have found a way to tag along,” she retorts and Luke barks out a loud laugh, immediately followed by a yawn. “Go to sleep, I’m in my dad’s room if you need me.” She presses a kiss on the crown of his head and gets up to leave, turning the lights off on her way out. 

. . .

It’s their first semester at University and things are going great. But of course Luke had to go and ruin it all. Julie really does not know how someone could get sick as easily as Luke. It’s normally a common cold that goes away in twenty four hours but no. He had to go all out. 

It’s flu season and Julie is stuck in a dorm room with her very annoying, very sick, and very adorable roommate/boyfriend. 

Luke can barely move, his body feeling heavy. His head is pounding and the room feels both too hot and too cold at the same time. 

Julie walks back into the room after a quick trip to the local CVS store to get supplies. She really hopes this doesn’t last for more than a few days, because she can’t afford to miss too many classes. She makes the mistake of turning on the light, prompting Luke to grown loudly and yell in discontent as if he were being stabbed. Julie rolls her eyes and turns the light off, settling for the lamp on her desk. 

She pulls out the thermometer from the bag and proceeds to tear up the packaging with her teeth because in her state of stress, she didn’t think of just putting the bag down. Once she finally got it open she put it against his forehead and waited for the indicated beep. 

She hisses once she sees the temperature. “102.5. Damn I was really hoping you didn’t have a fever.” She takes out the packet of pills from the bag and a water bottle and hands him two pills and the open bottle. “Take these.” 

Luke obediently takes them and turns to look at her. “Aren’t you worried about catching it?” 

“Not really. I had my flu shot two weeks ago. I told you to get it but you’re afraid of needles.” Julie deadpans and sits on the edge of his bed. 

Luke shoots up with a sudden burst of energy. “I am not afraid of needles,” he exclaims. 

Julie rolls her eyes and pushes his shoulder lightly. “Yes you are you big baby. Now lay down or you’ll get dizzy.” 

Luke mumbles incoherently, no doubt complaining, but he obeys and lays down, squeezing his eyes shut because just as Julie said, he gets dizzy. Julie pulls the covers up to his shoulders and runs a hand through his hair. Luke hums, content with the feeling of his girlfriend playing with his hair. 

“Can you sing me a song?” He asks after a few minutes, startling Julie who thought he had fallen asleep. 

“Yeah, of course.” She nods her head even though he can’t see her. Luke grasps her arm and pulls her down to lay down next to him. She lets out a small giggle and cuddles up to him

“I’m in my bed

And you're not here”

Luke interrupts her, finally opening his eyes to look at her incredulously. 

“Could you have picked a sadder song?” Julie barks out a loud laugh, slapping a hand over her mouth in order to not be too loud. 

“I’m sorry! It was just the song I had in my head.” Luke shakes his head, whispering a soft “unbelievable,” under his breath.

“Pick something happier but still soft.” 

Julie looked down at him, fully prepared to ask him what the hell he meant by his request, but he has already nuzzled back into her side with his eyes closed. She let out a small sigh with a small smile on her face. 

“Any suggestions?” 

Luke stayed quiet for a second before piping up with a tired voice. “Truly, Madly, Deeply. The One Direction song you showed me other week.” 

She decides not to comment on his unusual choice, Luke never having been one to willingly listen to One Direction (he loves them, he just refuses to admit it.) Julie simply kisses the top of his head and with a deep breath, she begins the song.  

Julie missed three days of classes, and every second not spent doing the work she missed or getting Luke his medicine, was spent singing him to sleep. 

. . .

Luke should have known that eating those hotdogs was a bad idea. The food truck was sketchy and mostly without customers but Reggie and Alex dared him to do it and because he’s a prideful idiot, he did it. Now he is suffering the consequences as he retches the contents of his stomach into the toilet as Julie rubs his back soothingly. 

She’s singing something under her breath, Luke doesn’t recognize it at first so he focuses all his energy on listening to her voice. 

“Sana sana colita de rana si no sana hoy, sanará mañana,” and she repeats it again and again. Luke has stopped throwing up by now and is resting his head on the toilet seat, which is not the most hygienic  but he can barely keep his eyes open much less move. He mumbles something incoherently and Julie leans forward, “What did you say?” 

“What the heck are you singing?” 

Julie has to resist the urge to laugh as she answers. “It’s I guess a saying? I’m not sure how to describe it, it’s just something my mom used to say whenever I would get injured.” 

Luke wants to believe that he nods his head in affirmation but in reality, it doesn’t even look like he’s breathing with how still he is, slumped against the toilet. His lips starts moving but there is no sound escaping them and for a moment Julie thinks he fell asleep, but then his arms reach forward to grip the edge of the seat as he starts throwing up again. 

Julie grimaces and continues to rub his back, only stopping when her phone rings and she has to reach her arm up to the counter to grab it. She speaks in hushed words to the doctor on the other end, nodding her head along to what he’s saying. A few minutes later she hangs up and Luke squints at her, wanting to know what’s going on. 

“Well apparently all of your symptoms align with mild food poisoning. Nothing too serious and since you don’t have a fever, it should go away on its own by tomorrow. Only thing is we have to keep you hydrated so I texted Alex and Reggie to get you some electrolytes.” 

Luke didn’t even try to move this time, simply groaning audibly and clutching an arm around his abdomen, which feels like it’s on fire. After Luke goes a full five minutes without throwing up, Julie brings a hand up to flush the toilet. The sudden noise causing Luke to jump up and turn to Julie with a paranoid gaze. 

Julie, not wanting to make him feel bad, hides her smile by biting her lip. She runs a hand through his sweat matted hair and gently pulls his head onto her lap. She continues to softly speak the ‘sana sana’ because even though she knows now that it doesn’t work, her little seven-year-old self believed it could cure any injuries or sickness. 

She stays in the bathroom floor, back cramping and neck stiff, for about thirty minutes, simply enjoying seeing Luke breathing in and out calmly. She knows that as soon as he wakes up, he will be filled with pain and discomfort so if she has to suffer a few minutes of it, then so be it. 

He is woken up by the sound of a knock on the door, no doubt Reggie and Alex with the supplies she made them get. Luke immediately shoots up and starts gagging and Julie doesn’t know how he can still be throwing up after having done so about five times already. 

She gets up and brings a hand to her neck, yelling out an annoyed “coming!” as the knocking persists. She opens the the door, takes the bag out of their hands, and closes it again, the fact that they are the reason she is in this situation not escaping her. 

She makes Luke brush his teeth before bringing him to bed, knowing he will be much more comfortable. She hands him an opened bottle of the lemon flavored drink, but he pushes it away. Julie rolls her eyes and pushes the drink back toward him. He groans and turns away, refusing to even so much as look at what she is offering. 

“I swear to God Luke if you don’t take this right now, I will pour it down your throat myself.” And she knows she is being a bit harsh but this is the only thing he has to take in order to feel better and he is acting like a child over it. 

With fear in his eyes, Luke takes the bottle, bringing it to his lips and taking the tiniest of sips, his mood immediately brightening at the smile Julie sends him. 

(Julie was right and he did feel infinitely better the next day)

. . .

It was supposed to be romantic.  

Julie smiling widely at him as he twirled her and dipped her repeatedly. Their laughter both echoing louder than fireworks and being drowned out by the wind. The rain hitting them at a rapid pace, quickly soaking them from head to toe. But they didn’t care. They were just two teenager in love, enjoying the clicheness of dancing in the rain to the beat of their hearts, which pounded against their chests as one. 

Luke doesn’t remember when exactly he started to sing, a couple of meaningless lyrics he had had stuck in his head for the a few days. And he is not sure when Julie joined him, but by the time they stopped, they were out of breath, it was already dark, and the large raindrops had turned into a light drizzle. 

So in reality, it was extremely romantic. 

What isn’t romantic is Luke waking up the next day with a horrible cough, congested, and a low fever. He tries to hide it, not wanting to admit it is big deal, but of course, Julie sees right through it. 

“You literally have the immune system of a newborn,” she says with a shake of her head. “Go take a warm shower, I’ll go call the doctor.” 

Luke opens his mouth to protest, but one harsh look from Julie sent his way and he immediately heads to the bathroom. He lets the warm water run over him, closing his eyes and hoping the steam created will ease up his nose. 

By the time he gets out, Julie has placed a warm towel and his favorite pair of sweats on the counter. He smiles and quickly dries up and changes. He pulls on one of his old muscle tanks as he exits the bathroom. 

Julie turns at the sound of the door opening and smiles. “I changed your sheets so they will be more comfortable. And the doctor said to give you the same things as when you had the flu but just in smaller doses.” 

Luke simply stares at her because he can’t help but think how the hell he got so lucky. His head is pounding and his throat is sore but with her sitting there in front of him, looking so effortlessly beautiful, he feels on cloud nine. He scampers off to his bed, taking in the scent of the new sheets and closes his eyes. 

Julie appears next to him a few seconds later, holding a bottle of cough syrup, a water bottle, and a small bottle of pills. He lets out a loud groan that is immediately followed by a cough. 

“You know Luke when I said I would take care of you one hundred times over, I didn’t mean it literally,” she says, trying to feign annoyance, but the loving smile on her face gives her away. “Now take your medicine please.” 

Luke throws his head back but takes the items from her hands. “Only ‘cause you said please,” he pouts. 

Julie snorts and kisses the top of his head before turning around. Luke lets out a sound of protest making her turn around instantly. 

“Where are you going?” He asks, voice filled with concern and disbelief. 

“Uhh class?” She phrases it like a question and shrugs her shoulder, not knowing what else she’s supposed to say. 

“And you’re going to leave me alone?” Luke has the biggest pout gracing his lips and he feels his throat closing in a little. Julie never leaves him alone when he’s sick. 

“You’re going to sleep all day anyway.” Luke shakes his head so fast that he has to squeeze his eyes to stop the room from spinning after. Once he has regained control he looks up to find Julie eyeing him softly and he knows she’s caving, so he puts on his best puppy dog eyes. 

With a defeated sigh, Julie drops her backpack. Luke cheers triumphantly and pats the space next to him.

“Wait. Before you lay down, can you get me one of those wet rags for my forehead?” Luke practically begs, and who is Julie to deny him?

She marches up to their little kitchenette and soaks a rag in cold water before filling a bowl with ice. She places the rag in the bowl and makes her way back to the bed, where Luke is just about ready for cuddles. She places the rag on his forehead and Luke shivers involuntarily. 

It is only a few minutes after Julie lays down beside him, when Luke decides to ask for something else. It seems that since he got her to stay, now he will take full advantage of it. This time he asks for a hot peach tea to ease his throat. And after that it’s a cold water bottle. After that it’s a plate of her peanut butter banana toast. 

By the time Luke falls asleep, she has ran around the room about ten times in order to fulfill his requests.  She lays down in her own bed, absolutely exhausted and is about to fall asleep when a loud whine come from Luke’s bed. With a groan, Julie sits up and her heart melts at the sight. Luke looks at her through half lidded eyes and makes grabby hands at her, clearly not liking having her so far away. 

Julie’s sure that by the time he wakes up he will no longer feel any trace of sickness so she goes and lays next to him, enjoying the familiar weight of his arm around her after a long day. 

. . .

Luke has no idea what words are coming out of his mouth at the moment and he supposes that’s an effect of the drugs. Today is the day he got his wisdom teeth out and his parents were supposed to take care of him for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, they had a last minute business trip and who is left with the responsibility? No one other than Julie. 

So that is why she finds herself lugging a nineteen year old back to the car, as he slurs out sentence fragments that don’t make a lot of sense. She finally gets him into the backseat and she takes a moment to breath before making her way to the drivers side. 

“Vroom vroom.” Luke mimics the sound of the engine turning on as Julie turns the key. 

“Yes Luke vroom vroom,” she responds with a smile on her face. Julie has taken care of Luke a number times but she has a feeling that this will be much different. 

When she parks in front of their dorm Luke lets out a loud ‘whoop’ from his place in the backseat. Julie turns and smiles at him and he does his best to smile back with the amount of cotton in his mouth. 

“The first thing I do,” he pauses as Julie wraps an arm around his waist to lead him up the stairs of their building. “The first thing I will do when I die, is ask Jonbenét Ramsey who killed her.” 

Julie stops walking for a full minute but Luke doesn’t seem to notice as he keeps rambling theories on who he thinks killed her. She looks at him, at first thinking that he is spitting out nonsense and then realizing that what he is saying actually makes a lot of sense. She makes a noise of agreement and continues walking up the stairs, letting go of Luke to open their door. 

Once she gets Luke settled he pulls on her arm and grins up at her, a small amount of saliva dribbling down his chin. “Kiss?” 

Julie shakes her head. “Sorry bud, no kisses until you’re no longer on drugs.” She wipes the drool with the tip of her thumb smiling back at him. He pouts and hugs his stuffed koala closer to his body. 

“Kiss!” He says again with a slight bounce. Julie laughs and shakes her head again, telling him to get some rest. “Cuddle?” He asks, trying to compromise. Julie complies with this request and lays down next to him. 

“You know what?” He mumbles and Julie hums, prompting him to continue. “I love you, more than you could ever possibly imagine.” 

“Is that so?” Julie giggles. 

“Yes. You are,” he furrows his brows to try to find the perfect word to describe her. “You’re music Julie. Your voice is the lyrics of my heart and your laughter the melodies.” 

Julie’s heart stops, her breath hitching as she blinks away tears. “I love you too Luke.” 

When Luke wakes up, he asks Julie if he said anything weird and Julie tells him he didn’t. And maybe it’s a little selfish of her but she wants to keep that little love confession to herself. 

. . .

Julie does not get sick often, so it it quite surprising when Luke wakes up and finds Julie curled up in her bed, groaning in pain. He scampers to her side quickly, gently shaking her shoulder in order to get her attention. With a soft whisper of her name, Julie stirs and squints up at Luke. She releases a whine and pulls the covers over her head. 

Luke’s eyes widen and he freezes for a second because, what the hell is he supposed to do? This situation is normally the other way around. He spots Julie’s phone on her desk and he makes a dash for it, knowing that she has the doctor’s phone number saved. 

“Come on, come on,” he mutters under his breath as the phone rings in his ear. He almost yells in success when the doctor’s voice comes through the phone but he is immediately offended by what the man says. 

“Is your boyfriend sick again Miss Molina?” Luke scoffs and responds in an equally sassy voice, because if Luke Patterson is anything, it’s petty. 

“No, actually Miss Molina is the one sick this time,” He waits for the reply, expecting another dig at him but the doctor shows immediate concern and asks for her symptoms. In that moment Luke realizes he doesn’t know what Julie’s symptoms are and has a weird need to turn to his mom (who isn’t there) and have her answer the questions. “Hang on a second.” 

He goes back to Julie’s side and does his best to get her to say something to him. He tells her that if she tells him what hurts he’ll get her ice cream, not actually expecting it to work. Seconds later, Julie is telling him all of her symptoms which he promptly repeats to the doctor on the other end of the call.

He tells her that it is better to bring her in so he can test her for different sicknesses but the one that caught Luke’s ear, is strep. He got strep (unsurprisingly) when he was younger and although he doesn’t remember all the details, he remembers it sucks. 

He coerces Julie to take a warm shower, insuring her that she will feel much better when she does. With a disgruntled noise and a lot of protest, Luke gets her to the bathroom. As she showers he changes her sheets and gets her favorite hoodie of his from his dresser. He places them on the counter for her and then sits by the door, leg bouncing up and down with anxiety. 

A few minutes later he is driving a sleeping Julie to the doctor’s office where they confirm that she does in fact have strep throat. Julie whines about getting her ice cream to ease her sore throat and he makes her promise that she will eat the chicken soup the doctor recommended first. He get’s to CVS and gets all of the medication the doctor prescribed as well as a pint of Julie’s favorite cookie dough ice cream and a few cans of chicken noodle soup. He can’t cook okay?

He tucks Julie into bed, giving her all the extra pillows so she can sit up as Luke heats up the soup. Julie grumbles about it being from a can and Luke does his best to assure her that it’s good, which includes him having to eat his own bowl of it. She falls asleep immediately after finishing the soup and Luke stays next to her, running fingers through her curly, still slightly damp hair. 

He is scrolling through his phone when Julie starts to stir, a noise of pain exiting her lips followed by a whine. 

“Hurts,” She whispers, cuddling closer to Luke. His heart aches for her and he pulls her even closer, kissing the top of her head. 

“I’m sorry Jules. Anything I can do?” He feels her nod and he looks down at her surprised. “Really? What do you need?” 

“Ice cream,” She mumbles into his chest and Luke’s shoulders start shaking with silent laughter. When he tries to get up, Julie clings to him and he has to remind her that she has to let go in order for him to get her the ice cream. She reluctantly allows him to leave and smiles the brightest she has all day when he comes back with Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough and a big spoon. She quietly enjoys her ice cream as Luke starts up a movie on his laptop. 

Luke spends the rest of the day emailing both his and Julie’s professors which takes much longer than he expects since he only has the use of one arm, Julie clinging to the other one tightly. The response from their professors are about the same, telling them to make sure to do their readings and whatnot. Eventually, when it is already late and dark outside, Luke shuts his laptop and goes to sleep. 

The next day, when Julie is a bit more lucid she pushes Luke off the bed in a haste. He yells out a string of profanities as he hits the floor and Julie looks at him incredulously. 

“Why are you in my bed? I’m going to get you sick!” Luke rolls his eyes as her hand goes to her neck, immediately regretting raising her voice. 

“Really Jules? You literally have taken care of me dozens of times. If you think that I’m not doing the same for you, then you’re insane. I love you and I’ll do anything for you. So lay back down while I heat you up some soup.” Luke gets back up and pushes her back into a laying position. 

Julie complains about it but agrees to his conditions quickly, not really having much energy to argue. She is much less clingy, now fully aware that she could let Luke sick if they’re not careful. 

Luke finds that taking care of Julie isn’t as bad as he thought it would be. He teases Julie about her always complaining after he gets sick and she reminds him that she is much less of a nuisance than he is, which Luke supposes is true. After a week of Luke fighting Julie to take her medicine, long whines, five pints of ice cream, and a whole lot of naps, Julie is feeling much better. Luke says it’s all thanks to him, and Julie agrees with him for the sole reason of seeing him smile after she does so.

The most surprising part though, Luke doesn’t get sick and to them, that is a win within itself. 

(He does end up with a twenty-four hour virus going around campus about three weeks later but that’s a story for another time.)

[nanasarea]

Park Jisung as your idol bf

Genre: fluff

Pairing: jisung x idol!reader

Requested

Word count:1757 (dear lord, the longest in the idol bf series damn...) 

a/n: this is more of a jisung as your bf in general, not so much the idol aspect sorry. Also yes, i ended up writing about jisung having a baby, sue me, I’m in jisung hours now! also do i even need to say it’s not proofread at this point?

Haechan /  Yuta / Mark / Jeno / Jaemin / Chenle / Renjun / Jaehyun

you were in the same dance class when you were younger

so you were friends way before either of your debuts

like when you knew each other when he was an smrookie

and of course, both of you being talented dancers

you were both training under companies at a rather young age

and it isn’t easy being a trainee regardless of your age

but because you were both still in school

and so young

you knew you should stick together

let’s say you had chemistry homework

but you also had vocal lessons

i’m not saying he would help you

because he wouldn’t

but he would be there to motivate you 

and study his own school work 

so you weren’t alone

it’s safe to say you were each other’s motivation when it came to school

he would also insist on his mom picking you up from school and driving you to the company when your mom couldn’t

same would go reversed

not that either of your moms minded

they found it adorable

and they shipped you both anyway so

that means him and his family coming over for dinner 

and you and yours going to theirs for dinner

and your moms would document all of your childhood memories

they would bond over it

since you didn’t have time to make any friends in school, 

you both valued your friendship a lot

he ended up debuting before you

and you teased him a lot

until he “taught” you how to ride a hoverboard

and you ended up falling in the first 4 seconds

then he would tease you

and you’d now understand how hard his dances really were

you met most of his members when they were smrookies

but you didn’t know renjun and chenle that well

so whenever you could, 

you would hang out with each other

and become very close

which is why they were all so supportive when you ran into their dorms and yelled that you were debuting 

you end up having a little celebration

when you actually did debut, 

they were so hyped

especially jisung

he streamed your mv so many times

he knew every detail of every scene in the mv

which was adorable

the fans knew you were childhood friends so they absolutely loved your interactions

which meant your company/companies being like 

WE COULD MAKE MONEY FROM THAT

so they make sure you have a collab stage 

like really early in your debut

and it was kinda awkward

but because you knew each other beforehand

you felt completely fine

at this point, your moms were betting on when you’d start dating

to which you would both just blush and tell them to stop

you end up going on so many variety shows together

mainly dance specials

and everyone finds you too adorable

like everyone ships it

but they’re kinda lowkey about it because they don’t want to make you uncomfortable 

not the case of his members tho

or yours

you can’t tell me jaemin’s hiatus wasn’t just him laying in bed, resting and planning your wedding

you can’t

taeyong ends up asking him why he hasn’t asked you out yet

he just blushes

it wasn’t until you were both a bit older

and you were at an award ceremony

where everyone was complimenting you

like your dress, makeup, hair, etc

that he realized he liked you

seeing you like that and realizing he needs to stop looking at you as his little childhood friend

and start looking at you as an adult

or somewhat of an adult

he can never look at you as an adult

because he would always have the image of you

with 6 empty chocolate milks around you

and a gummy worm hanging from your mouth

as you tried your best to color the coloring book correctly

but hey, you were always going to have the imagine of him

hanging from monkey bars

after he finished his 5th scoop of ice cream 

and laughing because he overheard someone say a fart joke

ANYWAY

he starts seeing you as an adult

kinda

and he gets slightly jealous when everyone compliments you

so after that, he goes to taeyong and jaehyun

and asks for dating advice

jaehyun just yells 

“wooooo! you should know my usual boba order by now, right, lee?”

These fuckers bet on how long it would take for jisung to realize his feelings 

and jaehyun would regrets only asking for a free boba when he won

but he’s way too happy about winning to care

it ends with half of 127 and half of dreamies giving advice, 

the other halves teasing

and wayv cooing on the phone as they were in china at the time

it takes him like 5 months till he confesses

he’s a nervous baby let him be

and when he does get the courage, 

he takes you to an amusement park

you don’t go on any of the rides

because he’s scared

but you do play the games and eat food

you even watch the fireworks

which is when he finally holds your hand for the first time

you did a lot of skinship before

like when you were friends

but it wasn’t like this 

it was cute

he was so nervous

your palms were both sweaty from nervousness

but neither of you cared

you were just happy to enjoy the moment

 that got cheesy

he even walked you to your dorm 

like to right in front of your door

which is when he hesitantly gave you a kiss on the cheek 

but you wanted a real kiss so you gave him a proper kiss

and he ended up almost tripping on his way to the elevator

where he smiled to himself

and tried to calm himself down

so the members wouldn’t see him like this

but they did

they teased him

and just yelled with him

“our baby had his first kiss!” -jaemin

“life is going way too fast! weren’t you like 3 years old yesterday?!”- jeno

“how come he’s 2 years younger and already getting more action than me?!” -renjun

the others find out 

and tease him

mostly they just congratulate him tho

“wooo! our baby is becoming a man!” -taeyong

“doyoung, hold me, i’m emotional!” -johnny 

“when’s the wedding?” -taeil

“wedding? i always cry at weddings...” -jungwoo

“no weddings! yet!” -kun

“yeah! he’s not getting married before me!” -jaehyun

they might have gone a bit overboard

but can you blame them 

it’s their baby we’re talking abt

they still see him as the little toddler from when he was on mickey mouse club

also you end up not telling your parents right away

and they keep match making

so you end up being like

“Mom, we’re already dating, you can stop”

cue both of your moms get excited

like they’re already talking about being the best grandmas

and having the cutest grandchildren

even tho you’ve only been together for 2 months

something tells me he’d be the type to want to have matching everything

phone cases

(probably anna and kristoff ones)

then profile pictures

jewelry

clothing

anything and everything

he’d find it so cute

speaking of matching profile pics

the fans would realize what was going on 

when you would match your pfps

so your company/companies were like

yes, they’re dating, no one is surprised...anyway 127 comeback 

your dating announcement is like super chill

mainly because everyone was waiting for it 

also i feel like he’d always be playing with your hair 

and fixing it

like all the time

a single hair out of place?

we can’t have that!

his hands are in your hair already

would text you for advice while filming chenji’s this and that

and would always make something for you too

“chenle’s turned out more aesthetic but mine is made with love, so mine is better my default.” 

also it wouldn’t matter if you’re older than him, the same age, younger than him

doesn’t matter

would want to hear you call him oppa

but immediately get shy after

also he’s an aquarius

so if you end up getting really random texts during the day

like during your schedules

don’t be surprised

like he’s already maknae on top

so he will rebel to like some of the things you say

“jisung! we need to get back to filming in 3 minutes!”

“but weeee!” -jisung going down the slide for the 5th time 

cries when you joke about leaving him there

speaking of crying, 

we all know he’s emotional

and cries easily

so he just runs to you whenever he wants to cry

and just placed his head on your shoulder

to hide his facial expression

but it’s okay

you’ve already seen everything from the random snaps you get every day

he might not know how to comfort you at first

but he will learn

and he’s pretty mature for his age 

so he would take comforting you very seriously

he’s a really good listener 

so he would love to just hear you vent to him

it would kinda boost his ego a bit too

like he’s the one who you’re venting to

yknow what i mean?

but also he protects you very well

you get scared of a spider 

he goes all manly mode 

and gets rid of it for you

doesn’t like to admit it, 

but he thinks about you a lot

and your future

like once you two grow out of your idol lives 

and into a more adult life

where you get married

and have kids

kids who tease their uncles (aka nct members)

because THE maknae on top was their teacher after all

speaking of weddings

his older brother got married

and obviously you were his date

and everyone kept looking at you two

asking when it was your turn

your mom said “hopefully soon”

“mom, we don’t have time, we have busy schedules”

“but one day...”

time jump to when the news breaks about your engagement 

and everyone is crying

they watched you both grow up and now you’re getting married??

what???

the announcement was everywhere

also you don’t announce anything about a child

one day, you just both post a picture of your daughter

with a caption like

“she’s so cute, i knew my genes were good.”

or something like that

and everyone goes wild

nation’s babies having a baby?

legend says chenle’s screaming caused 2 earthquakes that day

to sum it up: nation’s babies turned nation’s it couple because jisung is the best boyfriend you could ever have asked for 

.....i might have gone way more invested than i thought i was going to. Do i regret it tho? hell no. Am i emotional now because I pictured adult Jisung with a baby? hell yes.

tag list: @soleilchannie​

[klutzyzombie]

Image Impaired

Summary: From a young age, Bakugou Katsuki is told his hearing will continue to fade with use of his explosive quirk. He's given hearing aids to help when he reaches high school but refuses to wear them because what pro hero wears those? It takes some red-headed courage to convince him otherwise.  Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Eijirou Kirishima, Ashido Mina, Denki Kaminari, Sero Hanta Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki & Kirishima Eijirou (KiriBaku) Rating: General Warnings: N/A Words: 6,701 Notes: So this is my first official fic for this fandom and I don't exactly have anyone to proofread this so I sincerely apologize if it's out of character and for the errors! This was written from my own experiences with going deaf and requiring hearing aids and how I felt about it when I was first told. It seemed like something Bakugou may have also felt so you'll have to excuse me projecting~

**Please note that when a character is signing, it will be italicized.

Ao3: [click here!]

He started losing his hearing in grade school. He had been about eight when his family took him to get his ears checked when his grades slipped and he continued to miss things said at home. From there he was bounced from doctor to doctor but the general consensus was the same; his quirk was causing him to go deaf. It made sense really; continued exposure to loud constant boom’s. Like playing a rock concert next to the amp turned up all the way. It was bound to happen the second his quirk manifested and the decision to be a pro hero was made.

They recommended easing down on use of his quirk unless the situation called for it to try and put off the inevitable, but that wasn’t about to happen. Pro heroes in training needed to have master over their own quirks! So they also suggested hearing aids which Katsuki was against. What pro hero wore those tacky things?! For now, his hearing loss was manageable, but if Katsuki was keen on becoming a hero (and he was; even eight year old Katsuki knew this) then the doctors expected his hearing to be practically gone by the time he was in his late teens.

So the Bakugou family learned sign language as a safety net and as he grew, his hearing faded more and more as expected. It became Katsuki’s new normal for things to be a little jumbled and almost like people were talking underwater if they weren’t close enough or if they soft spoken. Maybe that was why as got older he had a tendency to yell constantly, his voice growing a little more gruff with age as well. He’d also picked up on lip reading which was immensely helpful in middle school as he refused to tell a teacher he couldn’t hear them or ask to sit in the front. It wasn’t going to be the future he imagined when he was a kid, but hey, he was Bakugou fucking Katsuki! He wasn’t about to let something like hearing loss stop him from becoming the next number one hero! He was nothing but goal driven from a young age, refusing to tell anyone about what he deemed to be his biggest weakness, preferring to make due with his lip reading. When his acceptance into U.A. was announced, his parents made a decision and while he fought tooth and nail – literally – he was fitted for a pair of hearing aids.

U.A. was everything he had hoped it would be as a child (though he could have done without the damn nerd also getting in and sitting right behind him) and much to his utter chagrin, he even made a few friends despite the fact that he’d never refer to them as such. They were more like a few idiots who wouldn't know how to fuck off if their lives depended on it. One such of these idiots and the biggest offender was Kirishima who, from day one, seemed to latch on to Katsuki. It was annoying at first; sure he had ‘friends’ in middle school but they were more afraid of him and only followed him as some sort of leader or popularity magnet. Kirishima just- liked him. For him! There wasn’t any fear and he damn sure wasn’t getting popular by hanging around Katsuki. If anything that was reversed since the stupid idiot seemed to be friends with just about everyone to varying degrees.

And Katsuki wanted to hate it- hate HIM because he didn’t need friends let alone overly enthusiastic idiot friends and with Kirishima deeming him ‘friendly’, the rest of the idiot brigade followed suit. Before Katsuki knew what had happened, Kaminari had wormed his way into his and Kirishima’s study sessions, Ashido had started tugging on his arm in her bubbly excitement at something or another, and Sero had taken too confining in him about whatever trouble had been on his mind. Bakugou Katsuki had actual honest to god friends and it was Kirishima’s fault. It hit him one night after moving into the dorms after he’d been dragged to watch a movie in Kirishima’s room. Like, forcefully dragged and as they sat there, watching as Iron Man and Captain America did some epic team up move on some aliens, he realized he was actually enjoying himself around these idiots.

He wasn’t supposed to be fond of the dunces. He didn’t need anyone and after the hero exam he and Todoroki failed, he tried to go back to how things were. Katsuki didn’t need friends and Kirishima and Kaminari passing while he failed was proof of that. So he separated himself from them. Well, he tried to at least. It wasn’t easy to do since the clingy idiots couldn’t take a hint if he stapled it to their faces. It was exhausting and when he did finally manage it, about a week into his granted alone time he was miserable and angry and ended up back on Kirishima’s bed while he and Kaminari played some game on Kaminari’s Switch.

He couldn’t shake the idiots he unwillingly befriended and he whole heartedly blamed Kirishima for all of it. On a rare weekend home, he was bitching to his mom about the annoyances who kept blowing up his phone with their stupid ‘Bakusquad’ group text. Mitsuki was sitting at the kitchen table with designs and fabrics spread out while Katsuki ranted on. She hadn’t known her comment about him being popular due to his phone’s continued dinging would lead to this, but now it was hard to stop the small smile building as he went on and on about them. Something he pointed out to her with annoyance.

‘Sorry, it’s just nice to know you have actual friends! Finally.’

“I can fuckin’ hear you, hag!” Katsuki snapped.

‘Are you sure? I don’t see your hearing aids in.’

His response to that was to simply flip her off as he marched out of the room. “I’m not going to wear those fuckin’ things.”

“Katsuki!” They had this argument so many times now he could almost recite it word for word. It was what she always said since the moment they picked up the stupid devices. 'Wear them!' 'Are you wearing them?' 'How is training with the hearing aids working out?' Every damn time she called it was the same song and dance and it was getting more and more irritating every time she brought the damn things up! He could picture her pushing away from the table and marching after him so it wasn’t a surprise when her raised voice shouted after him. “We spent good money-“

“’-on those things so the least I could do is wear them’! Get a new speech! I don't fuckin' need them because I can still hear just fine!” There was an uncharacteristic pause after that and he wheeled around to glare at her, to see what she was trying to prove, only to see Mitsuki giving him a pointed look. “What?!”

‘I said if that was true, then you would be able to hear me.’ She signed while speaking. Well, he assumed she was. Her lips were moving and he could hear a faint sound that was in teh same tone as her voice, but couldn't quite make out the words. Katsuki stood there, red eyes narrowed at her which was a look she was mirroring back at him for all of a few seconds before she sighed, expression softening. ‘Katsuki, it’s gotten worse since you started high school. I’ve been practically yelling at you just so you’d hear me since you got home.’ The look on his face must have been horrified because his mom’s melted from fond annoyance to one of almost-pity. She lifted her hands to sign something else but he quickly turned and marched back up to his room to finish getting ready to head back to the dorms. He hated that look on her. Hated that look on anyone and he didn't need her to see that she was right. That his hearing really had gotten worse. It would make sense that it had, he guessed. He went from only training with his quirk a few times a week to preserve his hearing to using it about daily for hours on end.

So then why hadn’t he noticed it?

He guessed the whole ‘it’s a gradual process’ thing could be a factor and if he thought about it, he was having a harder time hearing Aizawa now. Deku’s muttering had also seemed to bother him less as of late and it damn sure wasn’t because the nerd had suddenly stopped the habit he’d had since they were kids. His hearing really had faded drastically in just under a year and that was a reality check.

One he also apparently wasn’t great at hiding because a few days back in school had Kirishima draping an arm across his shoulders in the locker room. He had a habit of doing that no matter what murderous look was on Katsuki's face and today when he went to shoot a glare at the red head - one he knew would just be ignored- he was met with a concerned look on Kirishima's face. “Yo man, you good? You’ve seemed kinda…”

“Extra murder-y.” Kaminari supplied.

Katsuki and Kirishima shot him a look, Katsuki’s much more threatening, but he went on. “Is everything alright? You know you can always talk to me!”

“Fuck off, I’m fine.” Was his eloquent reply and he knew Kirishima wasn’t convinced, but the red head knew enough about him to know to drop it. The look that now shifted across his face was proof he knew something was up, but he turned back to talking about some new show with Kaminari and Sero to make sure nobody else tried to take the opportunity to ask Katsuki about his oh so chipper mood. Kirishima was good at reading him like that. He seemed to always know what Katsuki meant or needed in the moment. It would be endearing if it wasn’t also equal parts annoying. Sometimes he wished the idiot would remember how damn powerful Katsuki was! But then again, Kirishima was also the perfect foil to him.

He watched as said boy grinned and laughed at something Kaminari had said, head tilting back slightly from the force of it. He was so stupidly friendly and he seemed to really want to be Katsuki’s friend if not his best one. He liked to proclaim as such at least and he guessed it was true to a degree. Kirishima knew him better than anyone else probably did and just how that happened should be concering. Just when had he allowed the idiot to figure him out so well?

Katsuki looked back at his locker with a huff, not about to give Kirishima another reason to ask about his mood again. He looked at his mask and the orange and black wing tips behind it. Looked at the orange X crossing the otherwise all black uniform. Looked at the matching heavy-duty boots and belt that housed mini versions of his quirk. Looked at how the entire ensemble represented everything he wanted to become and how his stupid hearing was likely to take all of that away.

He slammed the locker shut with more force than needed, meeting Kirishima’s gaze as he glanced over at the sound. “Meet me after dinner.” He said simply, walking off before he could see or hear the red head’s reaction.

---

Katsuki was a proud person and that was a fact that was well know. He never needed and never asked for help. He was self-sufficient and refused to lean on others to get to where he wanted to be. So reaching out to Kirishima about this was going to be a challenge. Said teen had been in his room for going on ten minutes, silently watching and waiting, sitting in his deskchair backwards as Katsuki glared daggers at the ground. It would be unnerving to have the talkative bastard so quiet if it wasn’t once again proof how well Kirishimia knew him; knew whatever was on his mind was heavy enough to make him clearly agitated and extra moody. This fact had him glance up so red eyes could meet red and at Kirishima’s concerned but patient face, he sighed and looked away.

“I can barely fuckin’ hear.” He admitted like it was the biggest secret he’d ever be forced to admit because to him, it was.

“Yeah?” Kirishima sounded confused but not in the way he had been anticipating. He was confused like you had just told him Ashido’s favorite color was pink. Like what Katsuki had just said was common knowledge.

This had Katsuki whipping his head back to look at him. “’Yeah’?! The fuck does that mean?!”

Kirishima tilted his head like he did when he could tell Katsuki was upset with him but didn’t know why. “It means yeah? Like, yeah I know?”

It was Katsuki’s turn to be confused now. “You know?”

“Dude, if it was supposed to be a secret, your awful at hiding it!” Kirishima laughed and he glared at him for it. This was supposed to be his close kept secret! His weakness nobody, except for maybe Deku, knew! Kirishima seemed to understand his inner turmoil (because of course he would) and gave the teen a small smile, moving to rub the back of his neck. “Well, maybe it just was to me? I dunno, man. I noticed from the quirk assessment we had on the first day.”

“How?!” His voice sounded more confused than annoyed.

Kirishima shrugged and moved his toe against the floor a bit to slightly spin the chair he was sitting on. A nervous habit he’d get when he was the center of attention, Katsuki noted. “You just weren’t responding to anyone. First I thought you were just kinda an asshole and ignoring people, ya know?” He looked back up at him with a grin. “But then when Aizawa-Sensei would repeat something louder and you’d respond and I saw your quirk in action, I guess I just put two-and-two together. I didn’t know it was some big secret though.”

“It’s not!” Katsuki was quick to snap but that wasn’t really true. It clearly was or his heart wouldn’t have dropped when he realized Kirishima had figured it out within hours of meeting him. He huffed to himself, not wanting to snap at Kirishima over his own overlook and looked away again, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Does anyone else know?”

Kirishima hummed in thought, looking up at the ceiling. “I think all of us kinda know somethings up to varying degrees.” He must have heard the speed at which Katsuki whipped his head around because Kirishima quickly clarified, “I mean those of us in the squad. Kaminari talks louder when he’s around us. Ashido and Sero started too as well after they hung out with us for a while. I suppose it also helps that the four of us are naturally loud anyway, but they definatley talk up and more clear when they're with us.”

Katsuki just looked at him stunned. They had all figured it out? And they hadn’t ever commented on it? Made it a point to make a joke about it? Tease him about it like they endlessly teased him about everything else? They had just started to talk louder for his sake?! Here he thought they were just obnoxious assholes…

Kirishima seemed to notice his lack of anger and response and crossed his arms over the back of the chair he was sitting on, resting his head on them as he studied Katsuki carefully. “Is this what’s been bothering you?”

Katsuki shot him a glare before huffing and looking away again. A nonverbal yes before he sighed, eyes closing. His mind was still reeling from the knowledge that not only did the other idiots figure it out, but that they had all apparently silently just decided to not talk about it and simply speak up and clearer so he could hear them all better. He had a plan going into this. He was going to tell Kirishima he was hard of hearing, tell him he’d known it was coming, and how he was supposed to wear hearing aids. He had planned for questions and for almost snapping at Kirishima for giving him a pitying look before quickly covering it up because Kirishima knew he hated pity. He had expected this conversation to go the opposite direction it had gone and now he was at a loss.

“They…" How was he supposed to proceed now?! "I’m supposed to wear hearing aids.” He blurted out quietly, almost hoping Kirishima didn’t hear him.

But of course he did. “So why don’t you?”

“Are you stupid?!” Kirishima frowned. It wasn’t pity on his face but almost like disappointment? That look was somehow worse and Katsuki quickly looked away from him again. “I can’t be number one like that.”

“So you’d rather just not be at your best then?”

Wellp. Anger was back. Least that was familiar over the weird sensation knowing his friends never brought up his hearing had left him with. He jerked back to face Kirishima, on his feet before he even registered he’d moved. Kirishima just looked at him with same look he had on earlier. “What?!”

“You can’t be your best if you aren’t even going to work with something that improves your skills.” Kirishima repeated, apparently oblivious to the absolute inferno of anger his words had lit. “Dude, you can’t stand there and tell me with a straight face you’d be at your absolute best going into situations as you are when you could be going in with your senses heightened. That would be like fighting with one hand tied behind you back all the time! It doesn’t make any sense, man!”

Katsuki stood where he was, keeping Kirishima’s gaze which had narrowed. It wasn’t anger, but the look he got when determination had set in and he wasn’t about to even think about budging on something. Katsuki liked to imagine it was the look he had when he tried to convince their classmates to come to Kamino Ward. What made it worse this go around was that, well, Katsuki knew he was right. “Tch.” He turned and stalked back to his bed before slumping down on it, glaring up at the ceiling as if it had personally wronged him. “What pro hero do you know wears hearing aids, shitty hair?”

“You?” That answer had Katsuki turn to shoot him a ‘stop bullshitting’ look but Kirishima’s face was so purely earnest the words died on his tongue. “Sure none of the current pros do, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be the first! I bet they’ll even make some with little orange X’s on them! That would be so cool!” He gave Katsuki one of those toothy grins that rivaled the sun in brightness and it took all Katsuki had not to smile at him in return.

He scoffed and looked away instead. “You’re an idiot.”

“Maybe, but I’m right about this!” Kirishima stood up and moved to sit beside his feet on the bed. “You always are the first and best at everything. Wouldn't it be super manly to be the representation to little kids you want now?” Katsuki didn’t say anything, afraid speaking might betray how hot his face was starting to feel at Kirishima’s unbridled admiration. “Besides think of all the cool ways you could make them look! I bet you could get them like, orange to match your uniform or-!”

“They’re already orange.” Kirishima turned to look at him and Katsuki rolled his eyes at the awe on the red heads face. He knew what was coming without Kirishima even asking so he sat up to pull a small box from the far corner of his nightstand. He tossed it to Kirishima who caught and opened it, eyes growing wide.

“Dude, these look so cool!”

“No they fuckin’ don’t. Don’t lie to me-“

“I’m not, man! Dude, picture this.” He picked one of them up and held it so Katsuki could see before splaying his other fingers out behind it. “You could have them as part of you mask! I bet support could even make some super badass ones that could have another dual factor! Maybe even like Mic’s speaker thing? No, I guess that wouldn’t make sense. But maybe they can block out certain things? Like Shinsou’s quirk! Oh man, you’re an even better match for him now! Just turn them off and you can’t even hear him!” Kirishima went into a rant about all the things he thought the stupid device in his hand could be used for and honestly Katsuki wasn’t hearing any of it but not because of the hearing loss. He just watched the idiot talk, watched his lips move and hands gesture. Watched as he’d occasionally laugh at something he’d thought of and how his smile reached his eyes when he did. How he was so excited just to sit here and come up with dumb ideas and how happy he was that Katsuki was potentially going to be an even better hero.

That thought alone made Katsuki’s heart jump again. Kirishima had really meant it about being an example. He really did think wearing the stupid devices would make him a better hero. Didn’t think it would make him any less of a person or any less of a pro. Kirishima genuinely didn’t think less or pity him for it and it actually seemed like he was furious that Katsuki would risk throwing his own dream of being a hero away just because of two tiny devices that would help him.

It was almost too much for him.

“You’re an idiot.” He repeated. Kirishima stopped talking and looked at him. He was still smiling and Katsuki was willing to bet that he was too if the slight tug at his lips was any indicator. “Fuckin’-! Fine, you rambling moron. I’ll wear the damn things tomorrow.”

The grin he got in return had to rival the brightest light in the galaxy and before he could open his mouth to warn against it, Kirishima tackled him back on the bed. The curses and explosions he sent in return were simply laughed off and otherwise ignored.

---

True to his word, Katsuki stood in front of his mirror with the small devices in his hand. He looked at his reflection without them, took in the way he looked one last time as if he could never go back to this look before sliding them in and turning them on as he remembered the doctor demonstrating. He winced at the resistance he was met with as they flickered to life but looked back at his reflection once they were snugly in and properly adjusted. His hair hid them for the most part, ash blond strands hanging low enough that unless he really looked, he couldn’t see them. Maybe that meant nobody else would since he was actually looking for them. He let out a sigh and turned to grab his bag. He doubted that severely. He swore quietly to himself, ignoring how it actually wasn't as quiet as he thought, and started the trek to class.

The walk out of the dorms and into the school was… different? He could hear things he hadn’t otherwise heard before. He could hear birds chirping in the trees he walked under, bits and pieces of conversations of the people he passed, that one weirdo from 1-B saying something and even the faint smack that followed as that orange haired chick apologized for him. It was almost like he’d been listening to the TV volume only turned up to 2 and now suddenly it was changed to 10. It would be overwhelming if he were anyone else, he guessed. Katsuki imagined this is what those videos of colorblind people wearing those special glasses was like. To experience the world with a sense that was dulled for so long only to be informed that said sense could be much better.

He’d spent so much time glaring at the stupid things and then fiddling with them to get them adjusted that he’d been beaten to class by the self proclaimed ‘Bakusquad’. Kirishima was sitting on Sero's desk facing the door and when he spotted Katsuki, broke back out into that same grin he did that rivaled the light flickering in from the windows. “Hey, Bakugou!” He raised an arm in greeting, grabbing the attention of the other idiots who all turned to greet him though not as enthusiastically as Kirishima. Not much of a surprise considering the red head was very clearly the only morning person among them.

Katsuki tsk'ed in greeting but Kirishima seemed to be studying him harder than usual and it was pretty clear what he was searching for. So with a roll of his eyes, Katsuki turned his head slightly so Kirishima could see the small bit of orange poking out from under his hair and if the smile he was greeted with was bright, this one was blinding. He didn’t say anything much to Katsuki's relief, just looked back at Kaminari despite his grin not fading as Katsuki walked over to his desk and tossed his bag down. Such a stupid little thing and Kirishima was grinning like he'd won the lottery.

Class was almost night and day.

He could hear Aizawa’s lazy tone easily, better than he had ever remembered being able to. He didn't need to rely on his handouts and the board to take notes. It was considerably easier to understand Ectoplasm now too and, much to his sheer and utter annoyance, he could hear Deku muttering to himself again. It was annoying, sure, and he almost considered taking the stupid things out to prevent it, but the fact that he actually could stopped him. Even Deku's muttering couldn't quite distract from the almost wonder he had. He could also pick up on Kaminari and Kirishima whispering though he coldn't make out what. (Probably about the math problem Ectoplasm just wrote down.)

The lunchroom was another experience. He hadn’t ever heard it this loud and he muttered to Sero if something special was happening because of the noise before Sero eyed him confused and said it was always this loud. Huh. He knew it should be considering the amount of teenagers cramed into it, but the thought hadn't really ever crossed his mind just how loud it should be. It was almost painful. Their usual table was at least a little quieter since it was in the far back. Katsuki was actually able to hear Kaminari approaching without relying on the slight ting of electricity in the air that usually was his give away. He looked up and watched as he and Kirishima stepped over towards them, caught up in some conversation about something, only stopping when Kirishima moved away and took his usual spot beside Katsuki while Kaminari went to sit in front of him.

“Hey, Bakubro! You look-“

Katsuki winced. “Fuck, can you maybe not talk so damn loud?!” He brought his hands up to his ears, wincing as they gave off feedback which he assumed was due to the mentioned static Kaminari gave off. Maybe he really should speak to support about upgrading them if he was going to start using them more. Wait, was that going to be a thing? He'd told Kirishima he'd wear them today; not from then on. When had he decided this was going to be a permanent thing?

He was lost in his own thoughts about if this so he missed the way Sero, Ashido, and Kaminari looked at each other, then at him, then back to one another. “Uh? He’s talking like he usually does. Which yeah, it’s loud, but it’s his usual volume.” Sero defended, looking all the world like Katsuki had just started sprouting a second head.

Shit.

Katsuki huffed and looked down pointedly at his lunch, taking a bite of rice to further avoid meeting their gaze. “Well tone it the fuck down, dunce-face.”

Kirishima was pointedly quiet while the three others sat in silence for a joyous and nerve wracking moment. He wondered briefly if they would just drop it, but no, he was never that lucky. He heard a gasp, knew it was Ashido, and jerked his gaze back up just as she leaned across the table and reached over to move his hair aside. “You got hearing aids!”

“Fuckin’-! Don’t touch me!” He swatted her hand away but the damage was done.

She was grinning from ear to ear and practically bouncing in her seat. “Oh my gosh, they look so good! That color is going to match your uniform perfectly!”

“Nice, dude! When did you get those?”

“Does this mean you’ll answer when I ask you for help now?”

“I think he was just always ignoring you, Kami.”

"What? No! Why would he do that?"

"Because you ask him for answers on every problem rather than how to solve it?"

Bakugou watched the three teens in front of him suddenly turn on Kaminari, laughing at the other blond’s expense. They hadn’t even flinched at him wearing them! No jokes, no sympathetic looks, nothing! They just took it in stride as if he’d said the weather outside was cool. He looked over at Kirishima to get confirmation that he wasn’t insane and they had really found out what he deemed his weakness. Kirishima met his gaze with a knowing grin and a shrug of his shoulders, a silent ‘I-told-you-it-wasn’t-a-big-deal’ look on his face. Katsuki shot him a glare but turned back to his meal to try and hide the smile he knew would betray any small amount of anger it may have had.

They didn't seem to care. He'd spent so much of his life dreading the day he'd have to wear these stupid things. Dreading the way people would look at or perceive him. He was Bakugou Katsuki and the only way he should be looked at was with admiration or fear; not pity or sympathy, and he whole heartedly believed that was going to be the outcome wearing these would bring. He expected the three idiots in front of him to make a huge ordeal about it, but they just seemed relieved and excited. Just like Kirishima had been.

Maybe having friends wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

---

After that, Katsuki wore them daily. They became second nature from then on and he wanted to be surprised that nobody seemed to even flinch at them, but after seeing his friend’s reactions, he really wasn't. What was supposed to be a weakness was nothing more than another area he could work with. Something Katsuki could train and hone like his quirk. He’d even followed Kirishima’s idea and got a pair that would work with his mask. They got upgraded to protect his remaining hearing from his explosions while enhancing it. His regular ones got an upgrade as well so they’d stop sending him feedback every time Kaminari got within a foot of him which spared Kaminari getting threatened and snapped at so it was a win for him as well. (Both pairs were returned black with an orange X printed on them and Kirishima swore he knew nothing about it.)

Months passed and it was hard to imagine he’d ever put up such a fight to wear the stupid things. They really did make a difference and it was even better knowing nobody felt the need to shout at him. Part of him wondered just how many people did but also didn’t think his pride could risk asking. It was like nothing had changed and while he wouldn’t ever admit it, it was apparent he had worried and put this off for absolutely no reason. His friends rolled with it like nothing had happened and that alone, while he refused to admit it, was the real reason he continued to keep it up after the first day. The idiots seemed to be full of surprises, especially Kirishima.

So it really shouldn’t have been a surprise what happened one night during the middle of their second year. The pair were up late in Bakugou’s room going over the latest math homework they’d been given. Well, more like Katsuki was going over Kirishima’s since his was already finished. At some point he’d taken his hearing aids out figuring he wouldn’t really need them in the quiet of his room.

He marked one last problem Kirishima needed to look over and handed the paper back. The red head took it then asked ‘Do you want to go get something to eat?’

“Yeah sure.”

He pushed himself up and brought an arm back behind his head to stretch it out and then it dawned on him. Kirishima hadn’t spoken. His lips hadn’t moved.

“What?!”

Kirishima startled at his yelling. “I asked-“

“I know what you asked!” Katsuki was pretty sure he must look strange because Kirishima was looking at him with sheer, utter confusion. “It’s- it’s how you asked it!”

The red head blinked at him in confusion, clearly not understanding why Katsuki was suddenly so upset. “What about it?”

“You signed!”

“Yeah?” He held the ‘ea’ sound out as if the pause would help him figure out what had happened. Katsuki could feel his face heating up. “Dude, I’m so confused right now. What’s wrong?”

“You-! You fuckin’ signed to me!”

“Yeah, you covered that part. What about it?”

“When the fuck did you learn it?!”

Kirishima still looked at him baffled. “Dude, I’ve known for years. My mom is hard of hearing.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Because I didn’t think I’d need to? I sign to you all the time, man!” Now it was Katsuki’s turn to look lost. He looked at the red head for a few minutes as if he’d just told him some world altering view, which he kinda did. “You good, bro?”

“No I’m not ‘good’! When the fuck have you ever signed to me?!” Though as the question left his lips, memories started replaying in his head. One’s of Kirishima casually signing ‘lunch?’ while verbally saying they should head to grab a bite to eat. Memories of Kirishima signing ‘that was awesome!’ after Katsuki did some impressive move in training. Of Kirishima’s fingers moving to ask him to pass his notes back over. Vision after vision of Kirishima slipping it into such casual setting from the first weeks he knew him and wow, okay that did something to his heart.

Why hadn’t he ever noticed it before? When the hell had Kirishima become such a casual part of his life that him speaking in a language hardly anyone knew became second nature? How had he learned so much about Katsuki without him ever knowing the red head was close enough to figure him out? Why did he decide to dedicate so much of his energy and time to be around him?!

“Dude?” He looked over at Kirishima who was now looking at him worried. “I was kinda kidding when I asked if you were good but now I’m actually worried. Are you alright? You look, like, sick."

Katsuki dropped to his knees in front of the red head who was looking even more concerned now. He opened his mouth, probably to once again ask if Katsuki was okay, when Katsuki put his hands on either side of his head and pulled him into a kiss. It wasn’t anything spectacular on the outside, just a chaste kiss, but it was an awakening for Katsuki who avoided feelings and distractions. Katsuki who had mentioned romance was the furthest thing on his mind when Ashido asked him back in first year if he was interested in anyone. So yeah, it wasn’t the most romantic of kisses as Katsuki hadn’t exactly kissed anyone aside from one or two people back in middle school and Kirishima hadn’t exactly moved or leaned into it let alone reacted.

Wait, shit. Kirishima hadn’t reacted.

That thought had him pulling back immediately, apology already forming but going unspoken as Kirishima mirrored the gesture of grabbing his face and pulling him into a kiss. Now it was Katsuki’s turn to be shocked but it faded in seconds, eyes closing on instinct as he moved to rest his hands on Kirishima’s hips. Kirishima in turn gently cupped the side of his face, guiding Katsuki’s head to tilt to the side slightly so he could deepen it. Alright, this one was much better than the pitiful one Katsuki had just done. Kirishima’s lips slid against his like they were meant to be connected and his hands lit Katsuki’s skin on fire. The feeling was like wearing his hearing aids for the first time. Like reawakening a sense that had been muted for years. He didn’t want it to end but after one last slow kiss, Kirishima pulled back, lips parted as he breathed.

Katsuki opened his eyes and blinked down at him, no doubt looking as kiss-drunk as the red head. Kirishima beamed back up at him, cheeks tinted red which Katsuki could feel his own face mimicking. He glanced away as if that would hide it, ignoring the way his heart rate picked up when Kirishima’s arms moved to wrap around his waist, head resting against his chest. He had about a billion things he wanted to say, knew Kirishima had about a billion he probably wanted to ask, but of course the red head knew him well enough to know he needed a minute before he spoke. Kirishima knew him so well. How did he not ever connect these dots and do this sooner?!

“So you like me.”

Alright, maybe not the elegant response he wanted but he earned a laugh from Kirishima. He shrugged and looked up at him so Katsuki could see his lips, smile still present. “What finally gave that away?”

Katsuki could feel his face flush anew. “’Finally’?”

“I haven’t exactly been trying to hide it from you.”

“You never fuckin’ said anything!”

“Again, never thought I’d need to.”

And alright, that was fair if he thought about it. He frowned but it was more at himself than at Kirishima and he ducked his head down to rest against the red head’s shoulder, the red head pulling him close. “You have awful taste.” He muttered to which Kirishima just hummed, lightly resting his head against the side of Katsuki’s.

They stayed like that for a while longer before Kirishima’s stomach made them remember what had started this whole ordeal in the first place. As they stood up and started to head out, Katsuki paused and turned grabbing his hearing aids and sliding them into place, ignoring the way Kirishima’s face lit up at the simple motion. He didn’t comment on it though, only taking Katsuki’s hand for a whole second before dropping it. Katsuki arched a brow, about to ask what was wrong.

‘I really, really like you, Katsuki.’

Katsuki was pretty sure his face was currently redder than the idiot in front of him’s hair and mumbled a quiet “Fuck you” as he lightly punched his shoulder. Kirishima laughed and caught Katsuki’s hand before it fell away. He went to lace their fingers together and tug him down the hall but Katsuki stayed rooted to the spot. Kirishima looked back at him, head tilting in the ‘whats-up’ way he did before Katsuki pulled his hand back.

‘You are an idiot, but I like you too.’

It shouldn’t be a surprise the way Kirishima’s eyes lit up. It shouldn’t be breath taking the blinding smile such a simple statement was met with. It shouldn’t make his heart skip when he was rewarded with another kiss. None of it should be but here Katsuki was, arms wrapped around this dumb, red headed ray of sunshine who managed to do the impossible.

[bangtanblurbs]

young forever

song: young forever by BTS

first experience: strangely enough i have a very visceral memory of when forever young dropped. it was during finals week of my final year in undergrad. the song released on a sunday in the wee hours (or perhaps a monday? - days tend to run together during finals week). i didn’t have many assignments due that year since my course load was light and i was really just coasting into grad school the year afterwards (at the same institution i attend for undergrad). i remember logging onto youtube and catching the video as it premiered. i was stunned. HYYH pt. 1 and HYYH pt. 2 were heavenly to me, so of course young forever was greatly anticipated for me - the aesthetics, continuation of the story, and also simply getting new bangtan music. the cotton candy color pallet loaded onto my phone screen, and RM’s beautiful voice can through my earphones... i was immediately in love. 

every member looked completely stunning. the message i got from the video was... incredibly powerful. the maze. the lyrics. all of it resonated with me, a young woman -- 22 years old -- soon to turn another corner in life. i sat in my dorm room preparing for a busy week, as i was the RA in my dormitory and needed to help my students move out that week... as i prepared for my graduation and transition into my next step in life... i was also shipping out to macau, china for the summer in a few weeks so i geared up for that. this video dropping was almost a breath of fresh air from everything going on. i was able to really sit and enjoy it, but also reflect on my past, present, and the future to come. 

feelings: well, i have quite a lot. as someone who has been chronically obsessed with the story of peter pan since age seven, i’d say that youth is something i value - perhaps a bit too much. what’s interesting though is young forever isn’t necessarily about youth in the rawest sense... it’s also about dreams, reaching the point in your life where you’re happy, with yourself, your circumstances, ultimately your place in life. which i suppose most people equate that with youth, the innocence and naivety of it all. for me, thinking about forever young is kind of about that anxiety we carry as we get younger - have a made good use of my youth? did i squander it, getting caught up in the day to day or bogged down by my demons? the worry that our youth is our prime and when it’s gone, where do we go next? retire? it’s kind of funny thinking about this now as I’m 27 instead of 22. do i feel any older? no, not really - i feel the same. the same energy, the same zeal for life. do i look back on the days when i was younger and think that my youth is gone? no. for me - youth - it’s a state of mind. it’s an ethos, a way of proceeding forwards in my life. i didn’t always think this way - perhaps that was wrapped up in my anxiety about getting older. i used to lament my birthday each passing year - god turning 23 felt the absolute worst for some reason. it’s funny now though - how i almost feel younger, lighter, now than i did. youth should be a feeling of unburdened peace right? ideally it would seem so - but the reality in our world today... youth is pain. youth is struggling. youth is stumbling through the dark and trying to figure out who the hell you are, who the hell you want to be. i still feel like i’m stuck in that place, that place of wonder - of reaching out, exploring, experiencing... i feel as naïve as ever despite the pain that courses through some of my life. 

so back to young forever - how does the song make me feel? it makes me feel at home. at peace. forever we can carry our youth, forever we can approach our lives with childish curiosity, with the energy to follow our dreams, with a dedication to our passion, and an and endless realization that change is the only constant in our lives. despite the ups and downs that might come with living with this mindset - i wouldn’t want to live any other way. what’s the point of continuing to grind hard every day in the cruel systems our society has built if we can’t at least say we did it with voracious appetite to experience fully our surroundings, emotions, and imaginations?

personal connection: it’s rather hard for me to nail down all of my personal connections to young forever. as i mentioned, i have a really strong connection to the story of peter pan. i’ll briefly explain why and how that plays in here - but i must warn you... if you’re uncomfortable with strangers oversharing on the internet, perhaps this isn’t the blog for you to read. i’m quite comfortable bearing my soul to people i don’t know. for some reason vulnerability has never been something i’ve struggled with - perhaps it’s the naivety i love about myself. anyways... here we go.

when i was 17 my best friend passed away from cancer. it was relatively quick. just a summer we spent together gossiping in a hospital room, machines beeping while we tried our very best just to giggle about boys and lament our torturous IB courses. i’d known her nearly my whole life. meeting in second grade - and bonding quickly over a love for the whimsy of peter pan’s story. we’d gush on the playground about flying away to neverland - where we could do whatever we wanted. explore, sing, fly. but she was gone then. gone far too soon. frozen in a youthful state in my mind. her passing is still the hardest thing i’ve ever been through in my life, and i’ve been through some scary shit. immediately when i hard young forever i thought about her. i thought about how she lived. she was fearless. the bravest and strongest person i ever knew, and still to this day, have ever known. knowing her - experiencing her soul - it changed me. once she passed away i had to be strong, my classmates looked to me as their rock, my parents forbid me to cry, everyone pushed me into adulthood way too quickly. i was just a seventeen year old girl. i was having a crisis - i wanted nothing more than to speak to my best friend as i navigated choosing my next steps after high school. but she wasn’t there, and i wasn’t allowed to feel. i was terrified. my youth was gone. nothing seemed fun anymore. youth became pain as i looked around at my peers who were back to normal in a matter of weeks. giggling with one another, moving along with life. i became a robot. quickly i threw myself into school work. i was already a high achieving student but i climbed higher. i worked harder. i had decided that for the life she couldn’t live, i would live it for her. i’d go to the best college i could, i’d do all the things i never dreamed i could. i’d do it for her. but i wasn’t living. i had let my youth go. i was fading away. just a shell. 

it’s funny. or perhaps it’s not. young forever is a comfort song. a comfort song with some incredible darkness in it. the anxiety in namjoon’s verse, yoongi’s speaking to hiding feelings - pushing forward despite what he carries, hoseok’s verse about letting himself go and just giving what he has to keep pushing. their words - that’s how i felt. the song dropped around four years after my friend’s passing. i needed it before then. although perhaps it wouldn’t have “saved me” because music doesn’t save, music gives us the strength and comfort we need to save ourselves (i’m not a fan of taking way my own agency in MY story), it might have offered me a light in an increasingly blurry world. 

a year prior to the song’s release i’d spent a summer in china. my life changed there. i lived with seven incredibly bright middle school girls. that experience, i never thought it would start to heal me the way it did. they were under immense pressure (the education system in china is total bullshit)... and they told me “caroline, youth is pain. it’s not beautiful. it’s a period where we struggle the most.” i’d never heard this. the typical western perspective is that youth is “the most beautiful part of life” - it’s where you fall in love, it’s where you get hurt and you pick yourself up, it’s where you find yourself, you feel invincible. but that’s just it - it’s also where you can get incredibly lost (like the maze in the video). not all of us experience youth without pain. this perspective helped me to heal. i wasn’t so alone - i wasn’t squandering my youth, sure - i was treading water - but that was okay. i could cry. i could feel. and so, at this point i began to write my own story again. rather than living for someone else, i decided to throw the book out the window, to pick myself and run like hell towards what i wanted. to accept the freefall of life. that’s youth. that’s the most beautiful part of life. the part where you free yourself from whatever chains society has on you. youth is only associated with being a child because that who should be the most free. when truly youth, youth is that period in your life when you learn to live for yourself, your dreams. dream, hope, keep going. don’t fucking stop.

so this brings us to 2016. i was weeks away from a new journey abroad when young forever dropped. i was doing better. life felt lighter. i still had a long way to go, but some things i’d gotten right. i gained confidence, i navigated my interpersonal relationships with more poise. etc etc. going to china the second time, it changed me more. i did things on my own i’d never dreamed of doing. crossing multiple national borders, making friends with people i couldn’t communicate with. i opened my heart to it all. and i fell in love with myself. for the first time. i fell in love with how completely i embraced my freedom and coupled it with my drive, my passions. that is what young forever is about. it’s about the struggle but the continued commitment to the state of mind that once you’re free - once you embraced that childlike state of being - you can achieve so much happiness. 

which brings us to now - how do i connect to the song now? much in the same way that i did before. carrying these emotions connected to this song so deeply into adulthood has been incredibly touching. i’ve matured with bangtan. from 2015 to now. i’ve only grown in how i embrace my youth. sure, i have to conform at times, play the adult, but the motto “dream, hope, keep going.” that’s what i live by. nothing can change that for me now. i’m still fucking lost, but i’m running like hell. i have my setbacks, my demons, my challenges, but i’ve never been so fucking free. that’s young forever for me. thank you for reading my story. 

song breakdown:

musically: something i truly love about young forever is that it’s really atypical in how it flows musically and the entire structure of the song. it’s creativity run wild - it’s a story and build. and i love that. it starts off slow, soft, with a sweet sadness. the highlight isn’t the backing track, it’s the honey rap voices. it’s absolutely perfect. understated and building. with each new voice that comes in the beat speeds up. it’s like running. which is fitting. because the story in the song is that of bangtan. the lyrics say it, the boys are worried - worried about how well they’ve done, when they’ll stop gaining success, concerned that all of this life will end, wondering who they are in this - the performance the journey. they are quite literally running towards their dreams. we see this in the song lyrically. 

once the chorus comes, we need an increased speed in the beat and the song picks up with the chanting of the mantra. “forever, we are young.” us together, bangtan and ARMY. the song fades into the beautiful clapping beat, the refrains of dream, hope, keep going. musically the song is beautifully understated in a way that can only draw out the listeners’ emotions and highlight the charged encouraging lyrics. the story here is clear and only more illuminated by the musical choices. 

vocally: young forever is such a treat. it’s a rap heavy song, but not in a way that takes away from the beautiful second half of the song which is full of beautiful vocal line refrains and ad libs. it’s a chant song. a comfort song. and perhaps that’s why it’s stuck with me for all these years as one of my ultimate favorite BTS songs. 

when the song begins we are greet by namjoon’s beautiful low rap register. he delivers the rap melodically slow. you can appreciate the way his voice carries emotion and the tempo of the beginning story, of the emotional journey the song embarks upon. following namjoon’s beautiful voice is yoongi. who assumes a slower rap style initially. he has a few parts where he treats us to shout rapping as well - which give us kind of a pleading emotion - we can hear his lament for the pressure placed upon him as he stands in the spotlight. finally, rapline is rounded out by hoseok - i’m gonna say it - this is one of hoseok’s best slow verses. he offers his usual spicy tone, giving the trap style endings to each line. the emotion hits it’s peak with the punch tones and hoseok’s strong committment to his lines expressing his desires, his drive. 

the second half of the song is dominated by the beautiful tones of vocal line. taehyung leads us into the chorus with his beautiful deep register, followed by jungkook’s high tones. the juxtaposition of their voices coupled by jin and backed by jimin’s beautiful melodies is absolutely stunning. rapline takes turns coming in with the refrain “dream, hope, keep going.” all of this mixed together is simply stunning. it’s like hope in vocal form. we have the low and the highs, the singing voices and the speaking refrains. most devastatingly is jimin’s forever ever ever - piercing the background of the song. highlighting the longing - the conviction - to youth - the spirit of it, the beauty of it. the chant portion of the song is also what makes this song so devastating to hear live. everyone comes in, blends together and makes the message resonate completely. 

lyrically: here. we. go. a DEEP DIVE. i think firstly, it’s important to start with the fact that we have a song, young forever, that was released as the epilogue to two devastating HYYH albums. HYYH was the epitome of youth themed albums. it encapsulated everything we associate typically with youth. love songs, songs about pain, songs about healing, songs about not being enough, songs about our dreams, songs about being lonely... it’s all there. both the beauty of youth and the beautiful pain of youth dominate HYYH pt. 1 and HYYH pt. 2. then, those messages, those themes, were sealed with epilogue: young forever. why? well, my feeling is this is bangtan’s way of leaving us with the reality that youth isn’t something that’s fleeting. it’s not an age or state in time. it’s something we carry within. it’s how we approach the things we confront in our lives, how we live and move forward through adversity towards our passions and dreams. 

now - with that out of the way it’s time to dissect some lyrics. there’s quite a lot here in the three rap verses so i truly hope to do them justice. 

namjoon’s verse starts like a story, “the curtain falls” the end of a performance, often used as metaphor for the end of a certain point in one’s life. “the curtain falls and i’m out of breath / i get mixed feelings as i breathe out” clearly the chapter that’s closing for him has been an exhausting one, but he’s not sure about moving forward even though now he has the time to finally reflect and see what he wants next. to me, this speaks directly to where bangtan was at this point in their career. they’d been through the bullshit - the trainee days, the ridicule, the exclusion from the typical korean music system... they’d made it. I NEED U had one awards, RUN did as well, 2016 bangtan had begun to see the fruit of their labor pay off - but with that, what’s next. where do they climb next? what’s to come? there’s that feeling of unease for namjoon. “did I make any mistakes today? / how did the audience seem?” are the next lines, bringing in that sense of reflection. even though now he can breathe - he worries, what’s his impact, how do people feel about what he’s given them, did he have shortcomings? these thoughts flood in and set the mood for the next steps forward. these questions only become more as the pressure continues. the next and final three lines of namjoon’s verse group well together and offer us much more hope that the foreboding in the start of the verse: “i’m happy with who i’ve become / that i can make someone scream with joy / still excited from the performance.” the peace in these final lines, it’s kind of like the rest of the song - starting with the hardship, the unease, what must or has been overcome - mellowing out to realization that things will keep going on. namjoon is at peace with where is at the end of this chapter, he is glad he can stand on this stage bringing smiles to faces, and finally - the buzz of just being able to do music, that remains with him through all of the constant pressure. something about these lines, they’re beautiful.

just like that, yoongi’s verse begins. he provides the same metaphor to the listener. he is standing on an empty stage. the performance is over. the chapter is closing. HYYH is becoming the past for BTS. the struggles, will they be over too as they move forward with their progressing careers? “i stand on the empty stage while holding onto an aftertaste that will not linger for long” he begins - he knows that the high of this moment, the place they’ve reached in this time... it can’t be forever, the emotions of it all are beginning to fade into something else. he then moves on to offer some more insight into how he feels about that unknown of moving on: “while standing on this empty stage, i become afraid of this unpleasant emptiness.” this line seems telling to me - yoongi is someone that gets a lot from recognition, achievement, sharing his works with others. leaving the stage, moving away from this performance moment... it’s hard on him... he feels empty, his moment, his purpose - they’re over... at least for now. the anxiety seeps in. “within my suffocating feelings / on top of my life’s line” he starts to try and explain deeper his emotions, suffocation, a feeling of panic, likely anxiety or pressure induced. what’s next? will it demand more? he’s on top of his life’s line - he feels like he’s reaching his peak, not knowing where to go next, plateau? down? yoongi then lodges into almost a picture perfect description of what society can make us do in moments of pressure where we are feeling anxiety or panic - “without a reason, i forcibly act that i am fine / this isn’t the first time, i better get used to it” he’s going to put on a strong face, suppress how he really feels because at some point there could be another audience, he remains on the stage even if the curtains have closed. he forces himself to do so, and it’s a habitual thing for him. it sounds like truly this is habitual for yoongi - really needing to mask his fear, his panic, his anxiety for the sake of those watching. it tears me up, because it seems like he also knows that this will continue in his future. and the he realizes that keeping the mask on, it’s not something he’s able to do or perhaps interested in doing “i try to hide it, but i can’t.” the final lines of his verse leave us with some unease - they’re unclear - but perhaps they’re speaking to the fact that performing won’t be his forever... “when the heat of the show cools down / i leave the empty seats behind,” so at some point -- the excitement, the hype, it will be gone... those who want to see him, they’ll be gone too, and he’ll move on to what is next. or perhaps this could allude to the fact that the pressure of those watching goes away and he will finally feel comfortable? there’s a lot here. a lot left up and open.

and finally we round out rapline with hoseok’s verse - which leads us into the chorus and refrains. the first three lines of hoseok’s part go hand in hand with one another - they’re a natural progress of coping with one’s emotions and situation: “trying to comfort myself / i tell myself the world can’t be perfect / i start to let myself go.” the chapter is closing and hoseok is trying to tell himself, it’ll be okay. almost like listening to the song young forever - seeking comfort. a home. realizing that things aren’t always going to go his way, he can’t have this moment forever, and sometimes things are going to be ups and downs... the final line is perhaps the most startling, letting oneself go. realizing that there’s some pieces of yourself that are okay to let go, whatever is holding you back, keeping you stuck, sometimes we need to shed that to go forward with the youthful exploration that keeps life invigorating and exciting. or perhaps hoseok is thinking about the day in which he will let “j-hope” go and just be hoseok, without a stage in the traditional sense. “the thundering applause, i can’t own it forever” he moves on saying that this life won’t be his forever, at some point he will need to move on - realize that this moment is down, lose himself to it, and see what is next. yet - even with this knowledge hoseok continues “i tell myself, so shameless / raise your voice higher” it seems that there’s a conflict he’s facing - letting this moment go or screaming as loud as he can to hold onto it, and shamelessly so - letting go of all the constructed norms for how he should behave. perhaps, holding onto his YOUTH even as he grows older in age and should grow away from a youthful mentality. he is raising his voice and hopefully pushing forwards, perhaps just away from this stage and onto an even larger one. it seems this is the case “even if the attention isn’t forever, i’ll keep singing” he states. he will hold onto his passion, keep moving forwards with his music, his voice, his connection to whatever it is that wants to be connected to him - because this is his very soul and being. finally - hoseok closes out his verse “as today’s me, i want eternity / forever, i want to be young.” it seems that hoseok is choosing to be who he is at this moment, his youthful self, as long as he goes on. he will leave this version of himself, this beautiful, loving, hopeful version of himself as his mark on the earth for eternity. 

moving into the chorus we have the iconic title line “forever we are young” which to me, it’s about taking youth forward with you in all that you do. taking your passion, your drive, your love, your hope -- pouring it into all that you do and not letting the outside spoil you and take that from you. keeping your passions and running towards them. that’s the core of the message in young forever. 

jungkook then croons “under the flower petals raining down / i run, so lost in this maze” bringing us to think about how seasons change - flower petals can fall because of their abundance but also because they we are moving into winter. either way, the analogy of flowers is hopeful to me. blossoms on trees - the return in time. not the same blossoms, but just as beautiful as the previous ones. perhaps he’s speaking to the fact that the blossoms are falling now as the chapter is ending - which leads into the feeling of lost, of being in a maze... but the reality is, the flowers will come again. the can come again. so long as they keep running - there’s a chance for this beautiful moment to happen once again. that’s youth. perhaps you have your ups and downs, your moments in the sun (your spring days) and your cold days... but keep running, keep your energy, dream, hope, keep going. and you can return. 

jin then offers the other refrain “even when i fall and hurt myself / i endlessly run toward my dream.” THIS is youth. this is it. that almost stupid attitude of not recognizing when you’re down and out... not recognizing when perhaps you should stop. turning up the energy at your weakest point even when authority is telling you to let it go. this is the essence of youthful hope and energy. even if they’ve failed, even at their lowest point, they’re cementing that they won’t stop until they achieve their dreams. once again. dream. hope. keep going. just keep fucking going. 

finally the other refrain that is repeated throughout the chorus: dream. hope. forward. forward. is the direct translation. but, many would say it’s dream. hope. keep going. this is youth. our dreams, childish and pure. our hope, what we pour into ourselves, what we surround ourselves with - the light that keeps us going. and then constantly moving forward continuing even when our odds look bad. this shit resonates. bangtan did it. they dreamed, 7 boys at a small company. they hoped, holding onto one another, working hard, baby steps forward. they kept going. no matter the ridicule, the setbacks, they pushed forward. these words - they mean the world to me as i’ve pushed through shit in my life. i’m only where i am today because i, by some miracle, internalized this youthful mantra. allowing myself to dream, those moments of hope, pushing forward no matter what. that’s youth. that’s young forever. 

performance: well this is shaping up to be quite a long post. i want to discuss both the MV and how live performances typically proceed. i’ve also attached to this post my personal video of young forever at the HYYH: the epilogue tour in macau. sorry for my screaming in advance. 

MV: the MV is really interesting for the HYYH universe, although the same could be said for save me, which is technically in the universe... BUT the fact that the MV steps away from the storylines and almost takes us into the minds of the characters bangtan is playing is an interesting choice. we start off the video with the boys in a chain-linked fence maze, wandering around, and flashbacks for each of there characters. the overall aesthetic of the video fits with the lyrics and these feelings of uncertainty... the feeling of being lost... wandering from phase to phase in life. early on we see a scene of yoongi burning photos from the HYYH era - truly this song is about death to the past a new beginnings, overcoming the past but moving forward with the pieces of you that are important. the highlighting of the text “꿈 희망 전진 전진” or dream, hope, keep going - making it the mantra of the song. keep moving, keep running. almost it seems like the characters are running away from their demons as well. the members running off into the sunset together? it’s all about endings. new beginnings. but taking them on with determination and an attitude of childlike awe, glee, dreams, and determination. 

performance: we’ve all seen the iconic wembley performance. we’ve probably all cried over it more than once. maybe it’s your comfort video? maybe it’s secretly mine (ha!). i can tell you, experiencing this song live... there’s really nothing like it. it’s understated. there’s no dance. nothing like that. 

in the performances - namjoon appears alone in a starlight stage with the lyrics scrawling on a screen behind him. the lights are all dark, deep blue tones everywhere, it feels dreamy. the entire crowd is brought into a dream like state. it’s fitting, its absolutely fitting and incredibly stunning. yoongi then appears to namjoon’s left and hoseok to his right to be spotlighted for their respective verses. the emotion is everywhere. the song is even more incredible with a live band. you cannot imagine it. the chorus arrives with a change in vibe, a beautiful sunset is projected and the vocal line appears from the floor. all of the members stand shoulder to shoulder and belt the chorus and refrain. and you would not believe how devastatingly beautiful it is to hear ARMY shouting along. forever we are young. kkum, huimang, jeonjin, jeonjin. shouting together. again and again. clapping with one another. waving ARMY bombs. it’s completely emotional. i cried. i cried on the strangers next to me, that didn’t speak my language. there is nothing like it. 

i must also note, the concert i was at we were all distributed lightsticks and banners with 꿈 희망 전진 전진 written on them. this song has been important since it released. it’s the core of bangtan’s rise. it is so important to these boys. and to many of us fans as well.

now - a word about what happened at wembley. bangtan had no idea that ARMY would sing young forever TO them. at WEMBLEY. fans who likely do not speak korean. chanting their mantra to them “kkum, huimang, jeonjin, jeonjin” and singing “foreverrrrr we are younnnnng” and saying they will keep going. they will walk their journey towards their dreams. something about that, it’s incredibly toughing. you and i cannot imagine how that must have felt for bangtan. the moment must have been completely surreal. one of the world’s largest stages, playing one of the most meaningful songs of their careers - a song meant to memorialize their climb to fame, their accomplishments, their youth that they likely felt the LOST during this climb to where they are now. jimin himself said that night “this song. wow. this song helped me a lot when things were really hard.” young forever means so very much to bangtan. it always has. and their fans chose that very song. we chose that song (rather we were there or not). it’s our mantra too. whatever we go through, we are on this journey, and we are not alone. we are not alone. we can muster the strength to carry on with that same youthful zeal for life. watching that video... it’s moving. it’s completely incredible. to be a part of this journey... just wow. 

tl;dr: in conclusion... young forever is one of the BTS songs that has the most touching meanings, and it came at a very delicate time in their career. a time when they were finally getting the recognition they deserved and sought for a long time. a time when they were pivoting from “young” to “young adult.” a time when they likely struggled with a loss of their youth. all of this... it’s powerful because it’s not alien for those of us normal people. we all feel this. i’ve felt it as i’ve gone through tough shit and came out the other side changed, only to have to find my way through the maze and back to myself. youth and being young, it’s a state of mind. i think bangtan sincerely know and believe this. that’s what makes the song and the message it carries so incredibly powerful. so meaningful to us all. thanks for reading yet again. 

[poisonously-alluring-sev]

Snape One Shots ~ Gift of Sparks

Summary: Sabrina is a rebellious student who unfortunately will realize that her relationship with another student isn’t going to end well. Also she finds out that someone she didn’t think cared for her actually does.

Pairing: Snape x Female

Warnings: Swearing & Violence

Time: Order of The Phoenix

Word Count: 4900

Recommended Song: Therefore I Am by Billie Eilish

Main Character: Sabrina Sparks; 16; DOB: April, 22nd 1980 (Taurus); American; Caucasian; Slytherin

Running my hands through his hair he let out a groan that I missed like hell. My boyfriend, Christoper Lolar who most people called Chris, was pinning me against the wall in the halls of the dungeons. He wasn't the kind of student who follow the rules, he was kinda like a mix between Sirius Black and Draco Malfoy. He never listened to his parents, pulled pranks, and was loyal to being an asshole. As he grinds against me, getting a moan out of me, he deepened the kiss and before I could even respond we heard someone clear their throat out from the other side of the hallway We had just been caught outside of our dorms in the middle of the night, breaking the rules, and on top of that we had been caught making out and who knows how long that teacher was watching like a creep. Chris spun around on his toes ready to yell or argue with whoever interrupted us. Letting me move from the wall and drop my hands from his hair. Chris crossed his arms as I stood behind him kind of trying to hide from whoever it was. Normally I wasn't the kind of person to do that, but I was, in fact, a lot more bold than him and I was always the person to step in front of others. Waiting as the adult walked closer to us with their wand out as soon as they got a few more feet closer I could tell that it was Snape who had caught us. I knew that we were in for it now as we would have to go to detention and since Chris was in a very dominant mood right now he was going to snap back and buy us more time cleaning the potions class. Running a hand through my own hair I took a step forward and wrapped my one hand around his waist I whispered into his right ear,

"Don't go ham okay? I don't want to spend weeks in detention." He hummed back, but I wasn't sure if he really got the message. Moving my face away from his ear I kept hidden behind him waiting until we were told what kind of trouble we had coming for us. The professor finished walking up to us and shone his light right in our faces making mine crunch up as my eyes were used to the dim hallway and not the full power of the sun.

"What the hell are two students doing down he- Oh Ms. Sparks and Mr. Lolar, should've known you'd both be here." Chris tensed up once Snape spoke and I just stood there hoping things don't go down too mad. Chris covered his eyes when Snape raised it into his face and said,

"Hmm. Seems as though Ms. Spark isn't as tough as I thought." He was pointing out the fact that I was hiding behind my boyfriend Chris let out a growl in my defence in said,

"You don't know anything about her, now could you please lower your wand." Snape glared at him and slowly lowered his wand eyeing us both like we were about to jump at him. I wouldn't put it past Chris to actually jump at him. I moved closer to him and frowned at Snape as he insulted me and I wasn't the kind to enjoy taking those. Snape scoffed at the sight, slowly turned around and said as he walked away,

"Mr. Lolar, detention starting next week, and Ms. Sparks," He turned back around to look at me, "Probably best if you get started tonight." I groaned and started to walk up to him, but Chris caught my wrist.

"No way." Snape raised an eyebrow at him and straightened out his posture and said,

"I'm sorry Lolar?"

"There is no way she's going to detention, and either is I." Snape seemed to raise his eyebrow even more at this and said,

"You can't argue with me Mr. Lolar, rules are rules."

"Well, you should just shut your mouth and leave us alone." I elbowed him in the side when I glanced over at him. He just frowned at me.

"Say one more thing out of line Mr.Lolar and your behaviour will be addressed by the Headmaster."

"Piece of shit," Chris mumbled, and when Snape took a couple of steps forward I knew that we were in for it now. Sighing out loud I moved out of the way for Snape and he walked straight up to my boyfriend and said something very quietly that I couldn't hear. He spun around with a bit of a smirk on his face and yelled at me to follow him. Looking back at Chris he seemed very angry, angry because he wasn't able to fight back at Snape. Being very confused as to what just happened I followed Snape, which was more like chasing after him until we got down to his classroom. It was like 12 am so I was decently tired as it was and this wasn't going to help. He slammed the door shut behind me making me jump a bit since there was no talking as we walked here. He huffed as he passed me and sat down at his desk. Sighing out loud he told me to just wipe down the tables, even though it looked like he already had someone do it today. I wasn't really in the mood for arguing with him more since I didn't want to be down here any longer than I had to be, and I also didn't know how many days Snape wanted me down here.

In case you couldn't tell, Snape wasn't that big of a fan of my work. Being the modern-day James Potter it was clear when I put my first step out of line Snape was ready to have me clean his class every night. When I got together with Chris after he moved to Hogwarts from Iverrmory after he lit the place on fire, it was clear that we were going to be the most popular couple who also happened to cause a lot of trouble. Being lost in thought as I cleaned I didn't notice Snape trying to talk to me until he yelled my name. Being as shocked as I was to his booming voice I stayed calm and wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of scaring me with his voice. Looking up from what I was doing I hummed back in response as he continued.

"He's no good." I stopped what I was doing confused as to what he meant by that.

"What?" He rolled his eyes as he leaned back in his chair.

"Mr. Lolar. He's a no good, rebel child." I was now questioning why he thinks that he had the right to act like my Dad.

"And why the hell do you think that." I stood up straight and crossed my arms ready to throw some hard punches at him. I was never a really nice person to any of the professors and I wasn't planning on being nice to Snape, ever, mainly now. He huffed at me as I continued.

"What makes you think that you have the right to act like my father?" He raised an eyebrow at me and said,

"Oh no, I would gladly never like to be your father. Mr. Lolar however, his parents are death eaters." This time it was my turn to raise an eyebrow and question him.

"So, it's not like everyone is perfect." He seemed to soften his gaze on me for a second, but it could just seem that way as it was fairly dark in the room and he was on the other side of it.

"No, you don't get it to do you?" Snape stood up and slowly walked towards me, but before he got about five feet to me, he leaned onto one of the desks that I had just cleaned.

"He's a death eater." Now I was pissed.

"And how do you know that hmm? Do you spy on him and his family or do you enjoy making rumours about people who have a better chance and getting laid than you?" I knew that it was a little over the top, but I wanted to get my point across to him, and it clearly worked since he stood up and glared at me as I had just smacked him. Well, I guess I smacked his ego a bit.

"Why you ungrateful-"

"Oh no, I'm grateful alright. Just pissy that I have to spend the first hours of the day with you." We glared at each other for a bit before I realized that even if it was true how could he know? Dumbledore wouldn't know, but he would keep a lookout. And if Chris was, he hasn't done anything of the sort. I mean yes Voldemort is back, but when all of that happened Chris was with me, and he has never even left my side. Now I was wondering if I asked the right question will he try to hide the fact that he knows something I don't and possibly even admit to being a death eater himself. I was smirking my head off at this point and Snape was probably wondering why until I asked him,

"If Chris was a death eater, how in Merlin's name would you know? Hmm?" I raised an eyebrow as he kept a straight face. I could tell that he was getting annoyed by my snappy behaviour so I wasn't surprised when he told me,

"Just get back to cleaning or I'll double your detention."

"Oh, so you are hiding something," I mumbled loud enough for him to hear. I watched as he tensed up and continued to tense him with,

"Chris hasn't done anything wrong, but break school rules, so if you know he's a death eater, you must have some kind of-"

"Enough!" He yelled as he turned around. Trying not to seem surprised by his yelling I stood there with my arms crossed as he continued.

"Fine. If this is what you're doing to get out of detention, be my guest and leave. But having it with Flich isn't any better." I nodded to him, grabbed my stuff, and left to the common room. Smirking my way back through the halls I came into contact with Professor Flitwick and since I had just come from detention I didn't bother hiding since I would just tell him that I was with Snape. My only mistake was, he wouldn't believe me as it was 1 am. Realizing this as he told me that it wasn't possible I went on to tell him about what happened. That I had already been caught in the halls tonight and I did detention but left out the part where I probably got more. He still didn't buy it and took ten points from my house. Almost immediately I was going to scream at him for not believing me, but he walked away quicker than I could think. Cursing Flitwick under my breath I walked into the common room to see Chris waiting for me. He walked up to me and said,

"You alright?" He came up and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Of course I'm alright. Why wouldn't I be?" I kissed his cheeked and said under his breath,

"Damn bat, he's lucky he didn't take me instead." I shoved his shoulder and walked up to my dorm with him following.

"What happened anyway?" I wasn't going to tell him all of the stuff Snape told me so I kept that part short and talked more about Flitwick acting all proud and tough about catching me. I knew that Snape was going to notice the loss of points from me and wonder why. Maybe then Flitwick will realize that he was too up in his own ass to remember that Snape doesn't go by school rules when it comes to detention. I would love to see his guilty face when that happens. Kissing Chris before I snuck into my dorm I knew that all of that talk I had with Snape was going to stay in my head so I quickly wrote it down on a piece of paper as to ease my mind about it and maybe get some sleep as it was already stolen from me because of Snape. I rubbed my eyes before I laid down in bed because I still felt like there was a bright light shining in my eyes thanks to Snape.

Waking up the next morning wasn't fun. I woke up to the sound of a screaming owl. Groaning as I got up I opened the window and stared into the eyes of a small barn owl with a small piece of parchment. Pulling it from its beck I read the information on it which happened to be the time and date of my next detentions. Sighing at the news I got ready for breakfast, realizing I had bags under my eyes I threw on a pair of sunglasses and some basic clothes. Knowing it was a Sunday, most people would be sleeping in so the great hall was going to be a bit empty this morning. Getting my spot at the table I knew that Dumbledore wasn't going to have any kind of speech for us today so the food was out as soon as the hall was decently filled. Not really in the mood to eat a whole lot I just took some toast and bacon. Slowly eating the food on my place, I felt a hand be placed on my shoulder and as I turned around I got a face full of the lip. Chris wasn't really the one to show romance in public places, he just kinda does it to show off in away. After that, he sat down beside me and making my day a little better. He talked with our friends who happened to sit on the other side of us and even though I wasn't talking, I was enjoying their chatter about nonsense. Laughing along with them for the majority of breakfast was a blast. It wasn't often during the weekends that you got to stop and talk about random stuff versus classes if you even talked about them at all. Nearing the end I just so happened to look up at the teachers' table and saw Snape staring me down like a hawk, but soon I realized he was glaring at Chris. Remembering what happened last night I frowned at him and just out of spite I leaned over it Chris and gave him a gentle peck on the lips smiling at him making him smile back. Also causing his jockey friend to wolf whistle and him to throw food at them for it.

We all joked around a bit after that and I also caught Snape looking like he was about to jump up and down with anger. I smirked at him since I knew had won this time, but I also caught the attention of some of my girlfriends who didn't seem to think to it hold back. They asked why I smirked at Snape then starting making jokes to which I laughed at, but Chris didn't I looked over and he didn't seem happy so I whispered to him,

"Snape was making accusations about you last night, saying that you're not good for me and whatnot. So I throw one back at him." He chuckled.

"That's my girl." He then went on with making fun of his friends. Once we left the great hall we all decided to head back to the Slytherin common room, even though we had to sneak in our Ravenclaw friend and have a bit of a hang out in Chris' dorm which he also shared with a friend. We knew that we would get caught for a couple of reasons, the obvious being we snuck another house member into our common room and the fact that three girls were in the boy's side of the dorms. We didn't care though, it was our thing to break the rules and we had taught so many others about sneaking into the dorms that everybody used it at some point. The professors didn't care to keep up with our lot. One of the girls had stolen some mead from the kitchens during her detention and brought it with her since we would probably be bored if we hadn't had something to drink. Plus it was the weekend and we could always just take a potion to help the hangover if we even got one. We each lay on different beds tipsy and holding onto our boyfriends and girlfriends laughing our asses off about random things, not really caring when someone came by and said that Snape was here to lecture someone or something and he might do a dorm check. We didn't care. It wasn't the end of the world for us to hid the girls and the random Ravenclaw in here. The Polytheism common rooms were much bigger than the others. We each had queen beds and we all shared a very large bathroom with closets large enough to hide people in them. With a student quickly opening the door letting us know he was coming, I quickly ran into the bathroom with everyone, and the mead, cast an enchantment that blocked out any noise or visible thing from outside the circle. Even though we had that going for us we still hid as he could easily walk through it and right away tell that someone had cast the spell.

Hearing the boys still talking and then the bang of the door bursting open we seemed to all know to block our breathing when it didn't even matter. We heard Snape's loud voice through the door and then it was followed by a softer voice coming from a student. Even though we had the guts to stand up to Snape we weren't too fond of yelling like he was. After a good bit of them being quiet as he looked around just checking things, I prayed we hadn't left anything in there that belonged to us, like someone's shoes that clearly weren't meant for a guy to wear. And if we did I hoped that one of them would be smart enough to think of something on the spot, but the chances were slim. I cursed to myself that if I got detention again I would lose it. Once he left we all sighed and ever so slowly opened the door as one of the boys went out to make sure that Snape wasn't going to barge in again.

Feeling no need to leave the common room for the rest of the day, every now and then one of us would have to go get another thing of mead, and if possible, a bottle of fire whiskey. When it was my turn to go, I got a thing of mead and fire whiskey, but nearly got caught, causing my tipsy self to literally down the whole thing of the fresh liquor. I was going to magic away the bottle as there was no need for it, my hand was caught mid spell by someone who probably wasn't happy to see this sight. Knowing it was either a prefect, Percy, or a teacher I groaned out loud and wasn't surprised to get a groan back by Snape. I was so close to the common room that if I could get away from him quickly enough I could hide somewhere and lose him. He said something to me, probably was an insult, and as he turned around I slipped my wrist out from his hand and made a run for it. I got decently far before I ran right into a wall causing the mead to break and cut my hand, along with the now dizzy feeling in my head. I wasn't too sure if it was the fact that I was most likely drunk or because I slammed my face into a stone wall. Landing on my ass I knew I had no chance of getting away from Snape now and I was kind of freaking out about the amount of blood that was coming from my hand, or many I was being dramatic. Either way, the professor didn't care he just pulled me along with him to his classroom to where he yelled at me to sit on the desk as he ran away somewhere. Being drunk and left alone to my thoughts, things get weird, I don't think I need to explain it, but by the time Snape got back, I was a bubbly laughing mess. He looked at me almost fearful and mended my wound closed with a spell I had never heard of and then forced a potion down my throat.

"Ew. Not as good as fire whiskey." I frowned at the taste in my mouth as Snape rolled his eyes and said to me,

"You'll be staying here until you sober up, it won't take long, the potion will help with that, and the healing." I huffed and said,

"It better work quickly because I don't want to spend any time with you." I glared at him, but since I was drunk it looked more like I was messing with him and not like I actually meant it. Under his breath, I heard Snape say,

"Me too." He walked over to his desk and started to work on some papers. I was getting a bit bored after a couple of minutes so I got off the desk and sat on his as he worked. Clearly not happy with me and my behaviour he told me to get off. I didn't listen, obvious. Even in a drunk sat I wasn't having it for him. He put his arm out and pushed me off without even having to stand up. Feeling like an idiot on the floor drunk me decided I had, had enough of this and started to walk away, but before I could do that he locked that doors. I groaned out loud until the potion was starting to work and I wasn't so drunk anymore, I just sat there on one of the stools and waited until he let me go, not even bothering to look back at him. I couldn't remember what happened, but I knew that at least for my friends I would need another bottle. I personally wasn't going to drink out of it, I was just going to give it to them and say I had something else I should get to. I did in fact, I was going to do some fieldwork into finding out if Snape was a death eater and maybe even find out if Chris was one, or becoming one rather.

It was around 4 pm when I decided to go on a search. I knew Dumbledore might have some news and he was never the kind of person to hide information that might be of benefit to stopping people that used the Dark Arts. He also might not know anything about it and possibly look into it and maybe then I'll get my answer. Making my way to Dumbledore's office I stopped at the hospital wing and asked Pomfrey for something to help my hangover. She didn't really ask about why the hell I had alcohol and she was used to me showing up randomly and asking her for a potion. Once I got to his office my head had stopped pounding and I felt a lot more focused. I hadn't sent a letter asking if I could stop by so I waited outside his office and listened through the door just in case he was busy talking to someone. I leaned against the door I noticed no noise so I gently knocked on the large doors to which opened by themselves. I slowly glanced around the room and noticed him sitting at his desk looking up over glasses at me like he didn't know I was there until I got closer to his desk. He put down his quill and said,

"Ms. Sparks, what can I do for you?" I wasn't planning on being an asshole at this moment since this was important to me so I kept things quick and short.

"Sorry I didn't send an owl asking if it was alright if I showed up."

"Oh, don't worry dear, I was just writing some letters." He took off his glasses, folded his hands as I said to him,

"I was just wondering something. The first being Snape had me for detention the other night and Flitwick didn't believe me when I was walking back to my dorm so he took off points."

"No problem dear, I'll take care of it." He folded up a piece of parchment as I continued.

"Thank you, sir. Now the second is I was wondering if maybe you had heard of some strange activity that to do with Chris..." He scrunched up his eyebrows in confusion and asked,

"Strange activity as in..."

"Death eater stuff sir." I felt a tad uneasy when I said those words as I didn't want Chris to be evil as I was hoping that none of what Snape said was true.

"I also heard the rumours from Snape the night I had detention." I quickly added to which he sighed and leaned back in his large chair and said to me,

"I wouldn't take all of Severus' insults seriously my dear," I let out a sigh, but it was too soon as Dumbledore continued saying, "However I think it was a smart idea for him to warn you about Mr. Lolar." My eyes widened as I was not ready to hear bad news about the person who I rebuilt from his aggressive past. Dumbledore stood up and walked around the other side of the desk to face me and said,

"We are aware that Mr. Lolar's family are involved with the Dark Arts and there is a high possibility that he might be involved with it. Knowing that Voldemort is back is starting to connect things that we just overlooked before, one of the main concerns is the Lolar family. I wouldn't be surprised if he was involved with all of this." I felt like I had been lied to and that everyone was in on it. I knew Chris's parents, they are the nicest people I've ever met. They were really happy when Chris left his bad behaviour behind once I showed up in his life. It was like everyone was playing a joke on me and I was about to become one of those victims in saw or something. Then it dawned on me. If they were death eaters they knew that my bloodline was very involved with the Dark Arts, but my father had pulled them away from it when Voldemort died the first time. Realizing that Chris might just be with me to get my family to join again hurt so bad I can't put any words on it. It wasn't only just the heartbreak that Chris was using me for power, but it was also the betrayal factor that really hit hard. Taking a step back the Headmaster noticed my stunned face and pulled me back to reality.

"I think that Professor Snape was just trying to warn you about the possible threat." I knew that now I was going to have to act natural around Chris until he got caught. It was going to be so hard to keep a normal face and not think about it when he was around. I left the Headmaster's office after he gave me a few words of comfort and as I made my way back to the Slytherin common room I was hit over the head with something hard and then I noticed someone casting a spell. As soon as my vision stopped dancing around I saw Chris and his weird quiet friends hovering over me. I saw Chris pulled out his wand and smirk at me. I tried to move and grab my wand, but I had been shoot with a paralyzing spell. There was no way I was going to be able to get up and defend myself. I stared at Chris in the eye as he said to me,

"Maybe if you hadn't been sneaking around trying to find some way of bringing me down this wouldn't have happened." He sighed out loud and said in a whisper, "Mother is going to be so disappointed in you. She thought that you were different from your family." Trying to scream as loud as I could I got hit in the head again with a very blunt object and as I started to become unconscious I heard one of his companions say,

"Maybe if Snape wasn't such a headstrong loser this could've worked." In that moment I knew that I was going to show Snape that he was wrong to think I was weak again Chris. I was going to prove him wrong that I needed someone better than Chris, I now knew that I was the best person for me.

Any Requests?

[lyssismagical]

Boy, I'm so happy, we have been heaven-blessed

Parkner Week Day Eight: “Get some rest tall child” / cuddling / movie nights

 “Babe, babe, babe, babe-”

“Oh my god, what do you want?” Peter says. He sounds annoyed, but Harley knows better. “I’m trying to work, believe it or not.”

“I believe it. You don’t have to convince me on that.” Harley sits up on Peter’s bed, rolling his eyes for the thousandth time since he’d gotten to Peter’s dorm room. “Why am I here when you’re not even paying attention to me? You’re not even looking at me.”

“I don’t have to see you to know you’re pouting like a baby,” Peter mutters, scribbling some more words down into his notebook with his pen. He shoves the pen between his teeth so he could flip through his heavy textbook and try to find a page in the stack next to him.

Harley sighs dramatically. “But I’m your baby, aren’t I? Doesn’t that mean I’m allowed to pout?”

“Stop pouting and stop whining. I’m trying to work, Harls.”

“How do you know I’m pouting if you won’t even look at me?” Harley exclaims, throwing his arms up in frustration. It started out as a game, but now he’s starting to feel a little bit cast aside.

“Are you pouting?”

“…Maybe.”

Peter finally sets down his pen and turns to Harley from his desk, a smile gracing his lips. He looks pretty as always, but Harley can’t help but notice how tired he looks.

“Ned said he was going to move out if he found us in the same bed again,” Peter says instead of acknowledging their entire conversation. “I think he was serious. MJ’s roommate doesn’t live with her anymore.”

Harley rolls his eyes and dramatically flops back onto the bed. “When was the last time we went on an actual date?”

“We went out last weekend, Harley.” Peter’s still smiling, but there’s insecurity shining in his eyes, eyebrows creasing a little more than Harley would like.

“I just miss you.”

“You miss me?” Peter repeats. “Yet you’ve been literally lying a few feet away from me for the past two hours. I’m right here, Harley.”

Harley tips his head to the side, breathing in the soft scent of Peter on the pillow. “But I should be your number one priority.”

“Number one?”

“Mmhm, you’ll never get a catch like me ever again. I’m one of a kind, baby.”

Peter finally gives in and crawls into the bed beside Harley, unceremoniously dropping half onto Harley’s chest. Harley immediately wraps his arms around Peter’s waist, making sure Peter couldn’t leave even if he wanted to. Harley’s getting cuddles for as long as he wants them.

“You have no idea,” Peter mumbles, words muffled by Harley’s sweater.

Harley grins and presses a kiss to Peter’s hair. “I love you.”

“Love you too. Now, get some rest, tall child.”

*

“You know, I thought you were going to murder me when we first met,” Harley says, out of the blue on the next morning. They’re still in bed despite it being way past the appropriate time for sleeping in, even for a weekend. “I literally thought you were going to poison my food or something.”

“What?” Peter says, stifling his laughter. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I thought you’d be as jealous as I was, I just figured you’d act on that jealousy and murder me so you’d be Tony’s only intern.”

This time, Peter does laugh, hiding his flushed face in Harley’s shoulder. “You thought I would get so jealous, I would poison your food? You know how crazy that sounds, right?”

“I thought about killing you. I just knew it was an irrational idea, I didn’t know if you’d think it was irrational too.”

Peter bites on his bottom lip, trying to quiet his laughter. It makes his cheeks puff up a little bit like chipmunks, face rosy and eyes sparkling.

“I can’t believe you thought, even for a moment, that killing me was the appropriate reaction to being jealous.”

“I’m from Tennessee, Peter. Anything goes.”

Peter ducks his head again, muffling his laughter in Harley’s sweater. “That’s- I can’t believe you.”

“Tony thought so too!” Harley exclaims. Peter doesn’t have to see to know Harley’s rolling his eyes. “Maybe not that we’d kill each other, but he thought we’d hate each other.”

“No,” Peter says, voice dropping to a little more serious. “I knew from that first moment I saw you that this was going to be something special.”

Harley smiles, going all soft and mushy in a heartbeat. “I love you like an insane amount. Like I don’t think there’s anything I wouldn’t do if you asked. I’ve never felt like this before, and if I’m being honest, it really scares me sometimes.”

The younger of the two leans up to press a kiss to the older’s jaw. “You don’t have to be scared. I feel the same way, there’s no way I’m breaking your heart. It’s safe with me.”

“I know. Your heart’s safe with me too.”

“Good. Now that we’ve napped and talked, do you think you could let me get back to my homework now? I never got to finish it yesterday thanks to you.”

Harley laughs, relinquishing his grip on his boyfriend’s waist. “I should probably get going anyways. I’ve got a study group in a bit and then I’ve got a few errands to run in the city. Oh, and I think my sister’s calling to make spring break plans this afternoon.”

“You’re spending spring break with your sister?”

“I don’t know if you’ve forgotten but Abbie’s going to UCLA. Her roommate’s boyfriend’s parents are super rich salespeople who are taking the roommate and boyfriend to Europe with them while they’re there for business. Abbie volunteered to housesit and pet-sit. Meaning…”

“Meaning she’s got a huge house to herself in California all week?”

Harley grins. “Precisely. If you want, I was thinking the two of us could crash with her all week. Morgan’s on her break too, and she’s offered to pay to fly us all out.”

“Morgan and Abbie in the same house for a whole week?” Peter repeats, rolling his eyes but the smile doesn’t even falter.

Laughing, Harley finally pulls away from Peter, stretching his arms. “Yeah, it’ll be interesting, for sure… I’ll let you get back to your homework. You want me to swing by again tonight?”

“Please?”

The one thing that’s been weird since they started school is that they have separate rooms. Harley lives on the other side of campus, closer to his own classes, so it’s normally easier for them to spend nights in their own rooms, despite being used to the opposite. Back in high school, May’s apartment was closer to Midtown than the Tower, so Harley would stay with Peter for conveniences sake, and weekends they spent together at the Tower.

Today’s a Saturday, though, so neither of them have obligations tomorrow.

Harley grins, leaning back to press a kiss to Peter’s forehead before he’s tugging on his shoes.

“I’ll stop at mine and grab some clothes and things, and I’ll be over this evening. Six?”

“Sounds good. Movie night?”

Opening up the door, Harley shoots a final smile over his shoulder. “I’ll bring snacks! I love you. See you tonight.”

“I love you too.”

The door shuts behind Harley and Peter falls back into his bed, breathing in the soft smell of Harley, boyish with a hint of the Tennessee smoke that he carries with him, and a bit of the cinnamon body wash he uses. He smiles up at the ceiling, feeling so warm with love and happiness.

* Late that evening, after Peter’s finished his homework from the week and cleaned his room and finished some laundry, after Harley showed up in a flurry of excitement and lit up joy, carrying a shopping bag of snacks for the night along with a few selections from his DVD collection, after they’ve made it through way too many snacks and a few movies, they’re curled up, trying not to fall asleep.

“I wanna marry you one day,” Harley blurts and then he laughs, no awkwardness or worry to it.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I wanna do one of those fancy weddings with all the components like the big, tiered cake, and the expensive suits, and the cute RSVP cards in the mail. Abbie and Morgan could be the flower girls or the ring bearers. Ned and Harry could be our best men and Cassie, MJ, and Gwen could all be our bridesmaids or whatever they’d be. We’d do one of those over-the-top bachelor parties, except we’d do it together because it wouldn’t be as fun to party without you. Tony would have to walk one of us down the aisle because May and Mom would want to do it. Or maybe Tony could officiate. And then we’d get on a plane the next morning for a crazy honeymoon.”

Peter smiles fondly, snuggling closer to his boyfriend and nearly knocking the laptop off their legs. “You’ve really thought about this, huh? Is this your way of proposing?”

“No,” Harley laughs. “I don’t have a ring and I’m going to do it right, when I do. The whole shebang. The expensive dinner, the dramatic speech, maybe I’ll do the stupid ring in the wine or something.”

He shakes his head against Harley’s chest. “I’d accidentally drink it. Don’t do that.”

Harley laughs again, peppering kisses over Peter’s face. “I just really want you to know that this is a forever thing, for me, you know? I want us to be forever. I want us to get engaged, to move in together, to get married, maybe we could think about kids. I’d even go for the white picket fence future if that’s what you wanted.”

“You’re such a sap,” Peter teases before he kisses Harley. “I want that too. Trust me, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Taglist: @littlemissagrafina  @spidey-reids-2003 @romeoandjulietyouwish @c-artara @shadedrose01 @likeaphoenix13 @pj-hermes-tonystark-obsessed  @you-get-killed-walk-it-off @kitkatwinchester  @emo-girl10 @justme--emily  @hold-our-destiny @imalivebecauseirondad @spiderman-peterman @dykeragee @maryserrao @heeeyitskay @parknerandirondad @lilacsandlilies4 {Let me know if you wanna be added or removed}

[im-whatchamccallit]

You Get Injured During a Performance//ATEEZ

(A/N: I hate that I type the way I talk. I feel like it doesn’t make sense to other people lol)

Hongjoong

You laid on the stage with your arm covering your eyes as the lights were too bright for your liking, shaking and sweating as you struggled to breathe, your senses going into overload from the adrenaline pumping through your body. You were doing a performance for MAMA and obviously wanted your group to stand out, your company deciding an acrobatic-based performance would be the best way to go. Unfortunately, you allowed your hand to slip beneath you during your backflips, landing on your back with an audibly agonizing thud, any attempt at standing causing a bolt of pain to hit you, your body giving up as you remained still.

It took two minutes for everyone to notice you were immobile and still on the ground, the music ending abruptly and lights shutting off as your group members and staff scrambled to your side. You could hear all the concerned commotion, your lips trembling in an attempt to speak and finally mustering up a weak ‘everything hurts’. Your words echoed throughout the blacked out room before the staff hurriedly turned off your mic, not wanting to raise any more concern with the artist waiting in confusion, but their hopes were pretty much ignored as Hongjoong rushed from his seat and towards the stage, ignoring the few people attempting to stop him on his way to you.

It felt like a scene in a movie, but Hongjoong couldn’t tell if it was romance or horror, his eyes widening as someone rushed to place an oxygen mask over your face, informing everyone that she had called for paramedics. There was a strange feeling in Hongjoong’s chest, having seen you bedridden from the flu and your period, but this felt more extreme and the pressure was starting to weigh on him. But watching you cry and wince with each breath made the leader in him take charge, crouching down to your side and grabbing onto your hand, your arm trying to move from your face to see who was beside you.

“It’s okay, (Y/n), it’s me. You’re gonna be okay.”

“J-joong… I can’t breathe.”

“I know, but the paramedics are coming soon and they’ll get you to the hospital and you’ll be better.” He was lying through his teeth, uncertain of how this entire situation would play out. He bit his bottom lip to hold back all the emotions he truly felt when your hand squeezed his, knowing it’d be a matter of time before they spilled out.

“Are you going with me?”

“Of course I am. I’m staying with you until you’re alright.”

“Excuse me!” A female voice called through the commotion, three other people dressed in uniforms approaching before squatting down to your level.

Hongjoong reluctantly released your hand, allowing them to carefully lift you onto the gurney, replacing the studio provided oxygen mask with one of their own, your arm now at your side allowing you to glance around for the one person that said they’d be there with you.

“I’m right behind you, baby, don’t worry.” As soon as the words left his mouth, his cheerful and hopeful tone turned to desperation and fear, his gaze turning to the paramedic closest to him.

“Will it be alright if I ride along with her?”

The woman exchanged a few words with the others assisting you, turning back to him and nodding, Hongjoong not wasting a second to be at your side once more.

Seonghwa

You let out a breath of relief as the staff finally set you into a sofa backstage, adjusting your body so that your ankle was elevated with a pillow beneath it.

You were embarrassed that you tripped during your performance that required you to wear 8 inch stilettos, but applauded yourself for powering through, although your dance break was probably laughable considering you couldn’t put weight on your left foot, your ankle throbbing in agonizing pain before you collapsed just as it was all over.

Unfortunately, your mishap and pain didn’t go unnoticed, Seonghwa practically bursting through the door and rushing to your side, his eyes filled with worry as you tried hard not to roll yours. Seonghwa has a habit of being a bit overdramatic, his behavior making a somewhat minor situation go from manageable to unbearable and, right now, you were praying it’d stay manageable.

“Are you okay, baby? Do you need medicine? Pain killers? Water? Can someone bring her a wate-“

“I’m fine!” You snapped, trying to keep your voice at a low and calm level, glancing to the man sitting next to you that refused to relax his panicked face.

“I’m heading to the hospital soon, they’ll do an x-ray, let me know I’m fine, and I’ll be back in my dorm safe and sound.” You reassured him knowing he needed it more than you.

“Okay... but you should head there now. You know that what feels like a normal sprain could be something much worse?”

“Seonghwa...” You warned, knowing he’ll say something completely out of pocket that’ll make you just as scared as him.

“I think sometimes the bone completely breaks and can damage the nerves and tissue, then your foot will have to be amputated.”

“Seonghwa!” You cried, the idea that the sharp pain you felt was possibly your fragile bones no longer being functional, you attempting to dance on it causing bits and pieces of it to break off and pierce the surrounding meat. That didn’t sound logical or right, but you were a firm believer that anything could happen.

“But we need to stay positive. I’ll be the positivity we both need.” Seonghwa’s once scared demeanor shifted to a comforting, almost nonchalant one, wrapping his arms around you to soothe your now terrified form.

Yunho

Unfortunately, Ateez had to perform at the same awards show as your group, so when you suddenly dropped on stage in pain before your group members rushed to carry you backstage, he wasn’t allowed to aid you. It was even worse when you texted him you were at the hospital, Yunho feeling deflated considering you two were just feet apart as it happened but he couldn’t check on you then and there.

He didn’t even wait until the awards were over, leaving immediately after their stage to be by your side, not sure what to expect once seeing you. He could only picture the kind of distress you’d be in, the pained expression and yell you let out on stage replaying in his mind.

But, upon meeting you, you were sitting in bed with a cup of jello, almost four empty cups of the same snack on a bedside tray as you stared at the television in amusement, finally noticing the frantic boy’s presence.

“You came! Come here!” You said excitedly, Yunho confused as to why you weren’t in tears about your leg that was currently suspended by a sling, but he washed the bewilderment away to smile at you, telling himself that as long as you were alright, there was no need to freak out.

“I’m guessing you’re okay?” He questioned, moving closer to your bed while debating if he should lay next to you, opting to stand and just hold your hand once you placed your spoon and gelatin down.

“Yeah, they said it may just be a meniscus tear. Once they come back with the x-ray, they’ll let me know if I need surgery.”

“S-surgery?” Yunho reminded himself to stay calm, trying to find anything to say to keep the moment lighthearted for your sake.

“Uh.. well, all the best dancers get injured like this, so... good job on being the best.” He said as confidently as he could, mindlessly raising his hand to give you a high five in an attempt to seem normal and hide his concern, your palm meeting his with your usual bright smile as you obviously couldn’t read his emotions.

Yunho mentally slapped himself for making the situation relaxed to almost unimportant, his panic worsening now that you were even more at ease with your condition despite neither of you having any idea what the results would bring.

Yeosang

“I told you not to go out there when you told me you were already in pain, and what do you do?” Yeosang said bitterly, watching as you lied on your stomach in the hospital bed, avoiding his gaze.

“I went out there...” you muttered sadly, trying to turn onto your side to further avoid the obvious anger radiating from his body.

“Stay still.” You immediately stopped at the command, feeling like a child being scolded by their parent at this point.

You had told Yeosang weeks prior that you were having back pain, a stiffness that you relieved with an hour or two of yoga before continuing on to practice, only for the pain to return. It’s been like this for months and you thought it wouldn’t be an issue, that is until you were due to perform and the pain hit you with the intensity of a semi-truck, your body collapsing as you blacked out for almost an hour, awakened in a hospital bed with no real recollection of the previous events.

You knew Yeosang was worried about you and, even if his tone was stern and angry, he was honestly scared. He knew you were a hard worker and always pushed through your pain as if it were no big deal, trusting that you knew your body better than he did, but seeing you groaning that your legs and lower back hurt from the years of strain put on your clearly exhausted body, was the final straw for him.

“You won’t be promoting for the next comeback and maybe even the one after that. You need to rest.” He said in a definite tone, your eyes rolling at the sudden authoritative behavior.

“You know you have no control over that. Besides, we already recorded everything for the album. I won’t make them redo everything because-“

“They have time to re-record everything and you need to take it easy, because your group won’t last if the doctor tells you your spine is still as fucked up as it was last year!”

The once strict voice wasn’t strict anymore, but laced in concern and exhaustion, Yeosang tired of having to pretend you can handle this on your own knowing you were just on the verge of destroying your body. You swallowed hard and tried to ignore the heat rising to your face, slightly embarrassed from the admonishment but also now realizing you were selfishly causing distress to not only your group and yourself but to your boyfriend who could barely concentrate during his own practices because of his anxiety. Besides, a few months off work didn’t seem too bad, right?

“Can you at least tell them I’m sorry?” Your voice was small, head turned away to keep Yeosang from seeing your tear-brimmed eyes, but he slowly places his hand to your head and massaged your scalp gently to soothe you.

“Of course.”

San

They told you the performance would be so cool if you and your members arrived on stage from a rising platform, and it was, until the platform slowly sank back down in the middle of said performance, leaving an open space that caused you to fall down a 3-feet deep trap door and onto your knees, everyone’s eyes widening as they watched you disappear in the blink of an eye.

While the show kept going, everyone slowly starting to wonder what exactly just happened, San was looking to his members in panic, asking them if you’d be okay and if he should check on you. He knew how trap doors worked and how a harsh impact like that, even from a short distance, would hurt, and it only made him freak out more.

Because Ateez’s popularity was at an all time high recently, Hongjoong advised him to stay for the remainder of the show, not wanting to make a bad impression or cause an unnecessary and stupid scandal. So San stayed, taking deep breaths while forcing a smile and his usually hyped behavior for the cameras while his mind kept drifting to you, wondering if you were alright and the fall wasn’t as bad as it seemed. But then, a miracle came, a break for all idols and guest to head to the restroom if needed.

San didn’t waste a second before sprinting out of the area and towards the backstage rooms, not sure of where you were but not bothering to ask any of the staff either. His ears picked up on a familiar voice just next to him, the tone whiny and almost annoyed, the same voice you used whenever you couldn’t have your way.

“I was just trying to get an ice pack!”

“We’ll bring it to you but you can’t move! Your knee is really swollen!” The leader of your group said firmly, your eyes shutting to keep you from rolling them.

Sure, you were in pain since your left knee took most of the impact, but everyone crowding around you made you feel frazzled, almost like you needed to escape. It was unbearable. Your eyes opened to the sound of San’s hurried but gentle greetings to everyone, sitting at your side and carefully moving your legs to lay across his lap, the angle much more comfortable than you sitting upright.

“Are you okay?” San asked, his eyes scanning you before landing on your knee, bright red with yellow and blue undertones, an almost inaudible gasp leaving his lips.

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just swollen. But I’m kinda being held prisoner here.” You half-joked, eyeing your leader as she handed you the cold plastic packet, San grabbing it first to apply it to your bruise.

“How about we go back out to watch the rest of the awards? There’ll be enough space for you to breathe.”

“What? She needs to go to the hospital, San!” She said, seeing this all before and not dealing with it again.

“It’s only a swollen knee.” He defended, not listening to her as he scooted you further onto his lap and wrapped his arms around you, preparing to carry you back to the seating area, knowing he’s spent too much time there.

“And it will only get worse if not treated properly. You always give her what she wants when she’s whiny like this but it’s not what she needs.”

San thought over her words. He did always give you what you wanted when you were hurt or sick, knowing it wouldn’t heal you but surely make you feel better. But if he did what was best, you’d probably be upset with him, something he wasn’t very fond of. But he was running out of time and needed to make a choice now, for better or worse.

“Just text me when you guys leave the hospital, okay?”

Your jaw dropped in shock and anger while your leader smirked triumphantly, helping to move you from San so your manager could carry you to his car, your glare never leaving San’s while you left the room and headed in opposite directions. All he could do now was mentally prepare for the attitude you’d give him later.

Mingi

The lightening techs were positive they checked that the light fixtures were secure. They were POSITIVE they were secure. So why did one fall right next to you, hitting your shoulder in the process as it dragged you down? It was a miracle when you managed to get up, gripping your shoulder in pain as you tried to continue performing, looking up at each light and flinching as you stood beneath them, terrified that the next time it fell, you wouldn’t get up at all.

Your professionalism was applauded despite the fact a few staff members were probably getting chewed out for the mishap, your body dragging itself off stage as you ignored the sometimes dull but sometimes noticeably sharp throbbing.

Watching you rebound from that made Mingi believe you were fine, a bit shaken up but not too scarred, but he also watched as you clutched your arm as you hurried off stage, obviously not being as alright as he first thought. Some minutes passed before you were in your regular attire and heading back to your seat just behind and the rest of Ateez, his eyes finding yours as you gave a reassuring smile.

“Is your arm okay?” He asked, turning to give you his full attention as you looked to the exposed side of your one shouldered dress, a large bruise forming on the skin that was originally clear.

“I think it’s okay. Wanna touch it?” You smirked, leaning forward so he could get a better look at it.

You seemed fine but he was hesitant, looking between the purple and yellow blemish to your amused face. What if there was some internal damage and him touching it made it worse? What if a single touch managed to dislocate your shoulder? So many thoughts were running through his mind and you rolled your eyes impatiently.

“I won’t die, Mingi. Just touch it.” You insisted.

The frightened boy finally gave in and gently pressed it with his index finger, an alarmingly loud cry leaving your mouth and drawing the attention of people nearby, his face filling with horror and panic as he apologized repeatedly, a grin breaking out on your face as you laughed loudly, showing that you weren’t sore in anyway, having took pain killers as soon as you were off stage.

Mingi huffed, pouting angrily before turning back to the awards, no longer wanting to be bothered with your pranks. Even with you apologizing and admitting it did kinda hurt, he was unsure of what to believe, opting to not touch you at all.

Wooyoung

It was the most heart wrenching, blood curling noise Wooyoung has ever heard, his body bolting up immediately as you let out the pained screech before collapsing to the ground, hands gripping and clawing at your head, your group members trying so desperately to carry on but everyone was distracted by the scene, none of them sure of what had just occurred.

Your manager quickly rushed on stage to grab you, dragging you away as the others continued, your teeth gritting in pain from the sudden electric shock your earpiece gave. You were set into a chair just off stage, being offered water or anything else to calm you down but you were in shock (no pun intended), unable to concentrate on anyone or anything as your ear rang violently, and all you could do was try to bring yourself back to reality.

And Wooyoung was just the same as you. Your hands moved so fast to throw your earpiece away that no one seemed to notice, their final judgement that you had some breakdown mid-performance, the rumors and allegations already brewing and he could do nothing but sit by and listen. Where was the sympathy? Why was everyone more worried about whether you were crazy than if you were fine and not overworking yourself? It was beginning to piss him off and the boys were the ones to get an earful of his anger.

Instead of waiting to see if you’d be fine, he stormed out of the large atrium and made his way backstage, luckily running into you immediately to see you staring at the ground, your manager and group members at your side while staff occasionally stopped by to make sure you were fine. Wooyoung didn’t hesitate to approach, practically pushing everyone away as he kneeled in front of you, his hands holding onto yours as his concerned eyes bore into your distant ones.

“Baby, are you alright? What happened?” He asked softly, watching your eyes flicker to him and show the first sign of life since you were brought back.

“M-my earpiece malfunctioned and shocked me. I couldn’t really hear for a bit but I’m fine now.” You gave a small smile, hoping to reassure all of them you were fine but it wasn’t fooling anyone, your face dropping once again as you spoke lowly, admitting you thought you were deaf considering the silence lasted for five minutes.

Wooyoung didn’t bother to speak anymore, knowing the last place you’d want to be is here in front of so many people after something scary like that, his hands guiding you to stand with him before informing everyone he’d be taking you home, not waiting on their objections before leading you out, much to your relief.

Jongho

Going solo from your group was a terrifying yet exciting experience, even more so when you were set to perform alone for an awards show. You’ve dreamt of this moment ever since you were a kid, and now it was finally coming true, every thing you trained so hard for coming together. Until one of your back up dancers ruined it.

Considering you typically danced with eight other girls at your side, the eight dancers behind, a good mix of male and female, made up for the obvious absence. But throughout all the rehearsals and times you’ve done this routine with them, one of the men misstepped, the spacing between you and him way too close. You held the mic at an angle to capture your voice perfectly, somewhere between your nose and upper lip, his arms swinging outwards and knocking the mic harshly into your face. The impact was heavy, the shifting of your nose being felt as you stumbled backwards, clutching your face that was now leaking crimson.

Ateez were preparing in the backstage area to perform after the next few awards were given but all preparation stopped as staff and members alike watched as you bled out on the stage from the television hanging in the wall’s upper corner, the dancers rushing to your side to assist you as you tried hard to not cry, instead apologizing into the microphone to the various artist and fans that were in attendance.

You had worked so hard for that stage and it was ruined in a matter of minutes. Jongho’s heart clenched at the thought that you were probably beating yourself up over this, knowing you won’t get a second chance or a redo for something that wasn’t your fault. Everything happened so fast, that they didn’t even realize two MCs came to name the nominees for the awards. Jongho excused himself from the room, knowing he only had a few minutes before he had to go out.

It wasn’t hard for him to find you, following the sound of loud sobs that were just a few feet away, Jongho calmly approaching to see you leaning against a wall with blood stained tissue in both nostrils, your eye makeup running as your tears continued to flow, your already difficult and harsh breathing turning to hiccups. You were a disaster, and it was exactly what Jongho prepared for.

You didn’t realize it was him holding onto you until you looked up, only causing you to sob more, even more disappointed in yourself that he had to see your first award show performance go down in flames.

“I messed up!”

“It wasn’t your fault.” He reassured you, rubbing his hands along your back as you buried your face in his neck, potentially ruining his outfit but that was the least of his concerns.

Jongho slowly lifted your head to look at you. Besides the fact your nose was currently crooked, probably broken from the mic, he still thought you were beautiful. Although the moment didn’t seem appropriate for vain compliments, he knew he had to at least comfort you for the time being and this was just the way to do it.

“Hey, pretty girls shouldn’t cry. It’ll ruin your make up.”

“Why not? Everything else is already ruined...”

“But if it’s like your make up, we can fix it, it’s just gonna take some time.” He spoke softly, your eyes meeting his as he carefully used his thumb as to wipe away a few stray tears.

The sound of heavy footsteps in both directions alarmed the two of you, Seonghwa and Yeosang behind Jongho telling him they needed to hurry and apply their mics and earpieces before they went on, your manager behind you saying his car was ready to take you to the hospital. You looked at Jongho with an expression that silently begged him to stay with you, him being the only person to calm you down from your literal shitshow. But he knew better, wanting to be both a good boyfriend and responsible for his own career simultaneously. Again, he was prepared for this.

“I have to go, but you’ll text me when you get there and I’ll text you when I’m on my way. And no more crying, okay?”

His tone was firm but light. You gave a somewhat confident nod before he pulled you into another snug but gentle embrace, slowly releasing you to allow your manager to guide you out the emergency exit, turning on his own heels to catch up to his hyungs.

Jongho was fairly proud of himself for how he handled the situation, not certain that if the injury were much worse that he’d be as cool, but that was something he hoped he’d never have to face, especially with you.

[themonotonysyndrome]

Our Intertwine Dream

Another oneshot about Papa Lilia and Malleus with their human teenage son, Silver! I think I’m gonna turn this and the previous oneshot into a series while I’m still having fun writing ‘em and yeah, even if it’s a little late, I wanted to do something to celebrate Silver’s birthday. 

-

“Such a fair and gentle child you are. Quiet too.”

“...”

“My, my what a big yawn that was! Is it nap time already?”

“...”

“...How curious.”

“There you are, grandmother. Lilia said that it’s Silver’s feeding time now.” 

“Oh dear. The little one went out like a candle’s flame. Poor thing must be tired from playing.”

“Silver just woke up three hours ago.”

“Is that so? Say, Malleus dear, how about you and that Fae of yours stay in the castle for a couple more days. I would like to... investigate something.” 

“As you wish, grandmother...”

-

Silver wakes up when he heard his phone vibrated. Blinking a couple of time, he then rubs his crusty eyelids blearily before pushing himself up from the soft bed and sigh deeply. Dawn has made way for bright, morning rays to creep into his room despite the thick curtains.

When his phone on the bedside table vibrate again, Silver snatch it to check his text messages. 

Like any other day, Lilia’s attempt to wake him up for classes is by spamming his phone with a series of pictures that he find interesting or funny. Before, the Fae used to called his phone and sometimes even break through the door when he quickly realised that Silver would actively ignore the calls, but the few success that Lilia managed to get him out of the bed, Silver still ended up sleeping with his face planted inside a bowl of cereal. In the end, practically every one in Diasomnia knew that Silver will wake up whenever he can and the teaching staff of the school allows a little leeway because of his conditions. 

Today, Lilia is spamming his phone with pictures of Savanaclaws’ First Years students chasing each other on the field. Behind them, the sun made its slow ascension to the sky. 

Silver threw his phone on the bed and begin to get ready for the day. If he hurries, he can still make it to breakfast. Freshly showered and donning his uniform, he quickly check that he has his phone, magic crystal and wallet before leaving the dorm. The younger students loitering about the hallway and common room greet him good morning as he head towards the cafeteria.  “Who was that?” “That’s Silver-senpai. A Second Year student. He’s the one I told you about last week. You know, the senior that tutored me and the guys for History of Magic?” “The one that took a nap halfway?”

“Oh, Silver-senpai is always like that. I heard that he can sleep anywhere! But he’s really good at History of Magic though. I even got an A for my test!” 

Silver lets out a yawn as the conversation fades behind him. He had tried his best to stay awake during that tutoring session but the table looked as soft as his bed and before he knew it, the words on his text book look like worms and he blacked out. 

It was nice for the First Years to called Lilia when he was knocked out though. 

Today, the halls of Night Raven College are relatively peaceful. Friends huddled at the courtyard, taking pictures and laughing amongst themselves. A couple of Scarabia students are mingling with two Ignihyde seniors with their laptops out; probably a tutoring session. A Pomefiore student is humming to himself as he pick fresh flowers near the water fountain and a pair of Heartslabyul and Octavinelle students are playing cards; most likely UNO because one of the Heartslabyul student suddenly shrieked, “WHY DON’T I HAVE ANY GREEN!? YOU GUYS ARE CHEATING!” 

“Oh! Good morning, Silver-senpai!” Yuu suddenly greeted Silver just as he was about to enter the cafeteria. Behind the younger boy, he could smell fresh baked breads and strong black coffee wafting in the air. The smell is so strong that it’s probably enough to keep him awake for a whole day. “It’s rare to see you up so early!”

“I managed to wake up on time for once.” Silver reply with a shrug. “Might as well catch up on some classes that I’m lagging behind.” Sebek would scold his ears off if he caught Silver slacking in class, ever. Something about bringing shame and disgrace to Malleus and Lilia and honestly, Silver tends to tune out whenever Sebek started to rant about how great his parents are. 

“That sounds like a great idea Silver-senpai! I’m sure you’ll do well.” Yuu said with a cheer. For some reason, the boy is completely alone; no Grim or those two First Year Heartslabyul students that constantly flank his sides. Unaware of Silver’s musing, Yuu continue, “Anyway, I just saw Lilia-senpai and the others at the table near the hot drink section.” 

“Oh. Thanks. Guess I’ll see you around - ” Silver begins but then Yuu’s eyes suddenly blow wide and before Silver could ask what’s wrong, Yuu hurriedly interrupts him. 

“Ok, nice talking to you Silver-senpai, gotta go to class now! If anyone asks, I’m not here, ok? Bye-bye!” Yuu then ran off without even looking at him. Leaving Silver to stand alone awkwardly in front of the cafeteria’s entrance. 

“Well... that was something - ”

“Oh? If it isn’t Silver-san.”

“What a rare sight to see Jellyfish-san floating in the morning!”

The Leech brothers are smiling widely when Silver slowly turn around. It didn’t escape his notice that, Azul is not with them. Floyd tilts his head - rows of sharp teeth pokes out - and ask, “Say... you don’t happen to see our cute Shrimp-kun, have you?” 

“No.” Silver easily fibbed. Whatever is going on with the Leech brothers and Yuu (and probably Azul) is none of his concern. He decided to leave the twins be when they stare at him with an odd expression; as if trying to decide whether he’s lying or not. True to Yuu’s words, Silver easily spotted Lilia and the rest of their group when he zooms in on the drinks table. Sebek is furiously muttering to himself as he reads a textbook; pages constantly flipping. Lilia is checking his phone with a content smile and beside him, Malleus is diligently cutting his veggie omelette into small pieces. Plates of cold cut fruits, bread and pancakes along with juices and a cup of coffee for Lilia are spread on the table. 

The three of them occupy the large dining table despite how crowded the cafeteria is. 

“Good morning.” Silver greeted the group before taking a seat beside Sebek.

“Silver! You’re awake! Did Mr.Trein’s cat pictures woke you up?” Lilia teases. He tucks away the phone to cupped his face and grin lazily at him. 

“Had a weird dream.” Silver reply and made sure to thank Malleus when the Fae handed him the cut up omelette and a tall glass of orange juice before resuming his own breakfast. He waste no time and dig in. 

“Oh? What was it about?” 

“The face is a bit fuzzy but I was sitting on someone’s lap at a... garden, I think. She had a nice voice.” He said after sipping on his OJ. “It ended when I heard Malleus-sama’s voice.” 

Sebek jerk his head away from the textbook at that. Before he could demand what Silver meant, Lilia interjects with a hum. 

“That sounds too... normal to be a dream. More like a - ”

“A memory.”

Malleus put aside his napkin when the three of them turn their attention to him. He stares at Silver with a thoughtful expression. “It was a summer morning. I came to the garden when Lilia told me that you were with grandmother for the day.” 

Sebek is now in sheer awe - like usual when it’s anything related to Malleus - while Silver’s cheeks are dusted red as Lilia laugh, clutching his stomach in delight. “I remember that summer! It was Silver’s first time visiting the Castle of Thorns. You were such an adorable little one that Malleus’ grandmother insisted that we extended our stay.” Lilia then sigh fondly. “That was a nice summer...” 

And... there Lilia goes, off reminiscing Silver’s childhood. Silver quickly put a stop to it with an embarrassed cough. Lilia merely teases him some more in retaliation. Breakfast continues on until Sebek suggest they head to their respective classes now. Lilia and Malleus had P.E, Sebek went to join a crowd of First Year students drifting upstairs to the second floor; leaving Silver with his Alchemy class. 

He allows himself to be pull along by a couple of his classmates when they notice him rounding the corner. Silver finds it easy to join their conversation since it was about homework and soon enough, they chatted their way to the classroom. 

Mid conversation, Silver yawns. When he rub his watery eyes, something bright red accompany by a smile flash pass him. So quick and sudden, almost like a ribbon - 

“Silver-san?” One of his classmates call out when they notice that Silver had suddenly stop walking with them. “Is something wrong?” 

Silver blink; realise that he had automatically whip around to catch that flash of red but after looking at his sides, students in familiar uniform are mingling around him. No one stood out of the ordinary. 

“Just thought I saw something...” Silver slowly admits. There’s something nibbling at the back of his mind but it refuses to surface despite how hard Silver tries to remember. 

Classes passed through the day without a hitch. Silver finds himself staying awake for all of them that a surprised teacher even commented about it. When homeworks are done with enough time to spare before dinner, he wonder what the others are doing right now. Putting away his books and pencil case into his bookbag, Silver left his room for the dorm’s lounge. Usually Sebek is there around this time and they would bicker and wait for Lilia and Malleus to show up so they could have dinner together. 

But when he reaches the ground floor, Silver is surprise that Sebek is nowhere in sight. Perhaps he’s with his other group of friends? 

He looks around the lounge thinking that Sebek might be hiding behind the book shelves or something, yet only some Third Year students are relaxing on the couch; talking quietly amongst themselves. From the foot of the stairs, a few students walk down behind him. 

“ - did you see Vil-senpai’s new MagiCam post?” 

“The one on tips for short hairstyles? Oh! Is that why you tied up your hair differently after P.E?” 

“What do you think? I’m digging this new look!” 

“Well... at least people know that you actually have eyes now.” 

“Wa - did my bangs really covered my face that badly!? Why did no tell me before?!?”

The chatters gradually fade into background noises when Silver caught an unusual scent lingering behind him; a scent that makes him heady and eyes drowsy, almost instantly. It carries a subtle smell of smokey cedarwood, and blooming tuberoses that remind Silver of hot, creamy crème brûlée that melts on your tongue. 

But the magnetic scent immediately vanishes the moment Silver turn around to chase after it, frantically searching which student wore the cologne. 

“There you are, human! Don’t you know that you’re keeping Malleus-sama and Lilia-sama waiting!?” 

“Sebek?” 

Sebek appear at the entrance of their dorm wearing an unamused expression, hands firmly on his hips. When did he arrive? 

He roll his eyes when Silver continue to stare at him in stupor. “Well? Are you coming or not?” 

Silver shut his eyes and pinch the bridge of his nose. Shaking his head once, it took a while for him orientate himself. “Right. Let’s go.” 

Sebek didn’t question his terse’s reply as they walk towards the cafeteria, thinking that the Second Year student is in one of his moods again. He did throw an odd glance whenever Silver turn around as if he’s looking for someone or something. 

Later when the night grows long and the Diasomnia dorm is silent, Silver lies wide awake; staring listlessly at his bedroom ceiling in the dark. Scrolling through his phone did nothing to tire him out nor did reading boring textbooks help. 

Although, Flyod’s weird MagiCam post of him in a selfie with a happy Jade sitting prim and proper on Azul’s bed and Yuu’s black hair poking from underneath the duvet in the background was... something.

With a huff, Silver twist and turn underneath the duvet before closing his eyes in hopes that he could finally settle in for the night. 

Time seem to creep on before exhaustion claims him and Silver finally falls asleep. 

When he open his eyes, Silver found himself sitting on a picnic blanket. Soft morning rays shine through the tall tree above him. He notices small, bite-size food that are for children are laid out for him on a paper plate. A picnic basket is put aside near the tree’s roots, lacqured boxes of food were placed on the centre of the blanket and an uncapped thermos of hot tea is ready for anyone who wants to drink. 

He also notice that he was sitting on someone’s lap. 

“Oh? Are you finally hungry?” Silver tips his head back to see Lilia smiling down at him. His arms move around his small body to encase Silver in a hug. It was then he realise that he’s in a child’s body. 

“Here. Want some apples? It’s yummy!” Lilia coo as he tries to entice Silver to eat the sliced fruit by wagging it in front of him. 

“Maybe we should try some oranges again?” Malleus suggest, awkwardly holding a whole, round orange in one hand as he inspect it with uncertain, knitted eyebrows. 

“I rather not have him throw them at my hair again, Malleus.” Lilia sighs and put down the sliced apple when he no longer had Silver’s attention. 

As the Faes discuss on how to get him to eat, Silver understand that he’s reliving one of his childhood memories. Sure enough, he could easily spot the castle that belongs to Malleus’ grandmother looming behind the sea of trees.

This is the first time that Silver is consciously aware that he’s dreaming. It feels so surreal being able to coherently think like an adult but posses the speech capability of a seven year old. He grunts and whine to show his displeasure when it’s beginning to feel too warm in Lilia’s embrace. 

“Alright, alright, little man. Stop squirming for a moment...” Lilia neated Silver’s little clothes before finally release him onto the soft grass so he could play. “There! Hopefully you’re tire yourself out until you actually want lunch.” 

“...Is feeding a human child always this difficult?” Malleus couldn’t help but ask when he watch Silver wobble around, looking at everything and anything. 

“You know what? I don’t know.” Lilia admits though he didn’t sound all that concern. He knows that Silver will eat when his little tummy rumble soon enough. “I heard that some kids from a human village can be fussy when it comes to food. Silver might be one of those type.” He hums and tap his chin as he recalls their last meal time. “Then again, I heard that human kids loathe vegetables but Silver enjoyed eating your salad during dinner.” 

The Faes continue to talk while occasionaly keep an eye out on little Silver who is critically inspecting a wild patch of daisies. 

Back to Silver, he internally wonders why he’s reliving this particular memory. He tries to remember what else this memory entail when something pull him away from the flowers. 

That strange scent - cedarwood and crème brûlée - slips around him, thoroughly capture his attention in an instant and deafen him from Lilia and Malleus’s conversation. It envelopes his world that even the sunlight starts to dim when his eyes grows heavy. 

And before he realises it, Silver’s little legs begin to carry him towards the forest. Where the scent seem to be. 

The deeper Silver travese into the forest, the world around him begin to grow dark, as if the tall trees are blocking out the sun. Even the crickets and chirping birds are silenced the longer he walk and yet, he still couldn’t find the scource of that smell! 

“...er?”

Silver pauses. What was that? It sounded like - 

“...ver?”

He wanted to turn around, to move his arms but no matter how hard he tries, Silver stands there, frozen stiff as a statue. 

“...Silver?”

The scent is slightly stronger now. It smells so sweet, so comforting as if beckoning him forward and his legs begin to move again. 

A hand shoot out from the dark to gently grab his shoulder from behind. A familiar voice chimes in, “There you are Silver! I was beginning to worry, little one.” It’s Lilia. It’s Papa. His touch is like an anchor, bringing him back to a sense of safety and familiarity that Silver could sob in relief. “Come on now; it’s time to wake up, love.” 

At that moment, Silver jerks up; eyes wide awake and his heart racing. His room is so bright and warm that he had to squint his eyes a little to adjust his vision when he notice a silhouette that vaguely resemble Lilia sitting on his bed.

“Hang on, let me draw the curtains.” When the room is a little darken, Silver rubs his weary eyes and find that it’s indeed Lilia; his coat uniform and cap drape over the bed. For some reason, he’s studying Silver with a complicated expression; lips pursed and eyebrows knitted in worry. 

“W-What? Silver croak, hating how parched his throat feels. 

“How are you feeling?” Lilia asks immediately. He hovers close to Silver, cupping his clammy face with bare hands as he checks for... something. 

Silver lets the question sinks in for moment. “...Tired.” He admits with a sigh. His heart finally calms down when he leans into Lilia’s touch, eyes heavy but this time, he just wants to bask in Lilia’s warmth. 

Lilia bits his lower lip and slowly withdraw his hands before taking a sit on the bed. “What was the last thing that you did? Did you drunk any funny potion before bed?” 

“What? The last thing I did?” Silver repeated, a little lost but answer him nonetheless, “After dinner, I couldn’t sleep so I tried to bored myself by reading and when that didn’t work, I went to bed. I managed to fell sleep soon enough.” He explains and uneasiness churns in the pit of his stomach when Lilia still look at him strangely. 

He had never seen Lilia wear such expression before. 

“Silver... you’ve been asleep for four days.” 

The ancient Fae’s tentative announcement made Silver’s heart drop like a heavy lead. “...What?” 

“Calm down. Hey, can you look at me, Silver?” Lilia’s voice drops to soothing when he sees the far off look in Silver’s eyes. He holds both of the teenager’s hands when he heard Silver’s breath hitches. He continue to grip on them even when Silver meets his gaze. “It’s alright; you’re awake now and that’s what important. Can you remember if you’ve been dreaming or...”

“We were having a picnic back when I was a child. It’s somewhere behind the Witch’s castle - ”

“I remember that.” Lilia assure him calmly. He only spoke like that to Silver whenever he was spooked but it’s been years since the Fae spoke in such tone now that he’s all grown up. “You were such a curious child. You insist on wanting to pick wild flowers when we’re supposed to have lunch.” 

Wait - 

“...What happened next?”

“You plucked a bunch of daisies and gave them to me and Malleus; dirt and all. You looked so proud despite that you made a mess on the picnic blanket that I scooped you into my arms and we cuddled until you tried to gnaw on my hair.” Lilia laughs softly. “You were so attracted to my hair because of the colours that I had to buy you a black and pink teddy bear for you to obssessed on. Do you remember that?”

No. Silver doesn’t remember any of that... 

And that frightens him.  

“Silver? Talk to me; what are you thinking about?” Lilia pleads when instead of a flustered Silver like he’s hoping, his son in all but blood pales. 

Despite the warm morning, chill runs down Silver’s spine when he said in a detached tone, “I... I think I had a nightmare, but... I can’t remember of what.”

[onewfantaesy]

Foster Kid AU

Taemin’s whole brain short circuits. He can’t believe it, because sitting across the table from him is Kang Hodong and his wife. And every time he’s interacted with the man, he’s been goofy and funny and just a comedian. But now he’s serious, and even though he’s smiling it’s not the same, and Taemin just doesn’t understand what’s going on.

They talk for hours though. About all sorts of things. About how they want to be parents, how they’ve been trying to adopt for over a year now, how they heard Taemin’s story about wanting to be adopted and tried so hard to get in touch with Taemin’s case worker.

And Taemin talks too. About how he gets good grades in school. How he’s never gotten in trouble. How he’s a good kid who does exactly as he’s told. How he stays at the SHINee dorm all the time so he won’t even get in their way.

Taemin regrets talking though, because it seems to upset them, to throw them off, and he’s terrified of scaring them away.

“Please, I’m really really good, I promise!” he says quickly. “You can even look at my file, I’ve never been in trouble ever! See look!”

And he leans over the table and pushes the file his case worker brought towards them, even opens it for them, his picture on display right at the front. He thinks it’s a decent picture. It’s no SHINee photoshoot, but his hair is combed neatly.

“Can you tell us,” Hodong asks softly, “why you want to be adopted?”

He feels like his brain is buffering. He doesn’t really understand, doesn’t know how to answer, doesn’t know what the right answer is.

“I just,” he stammers, his heart pounding, “I just want someone to want me.”

Turns out that was right enough of an answer, because a date is scheduled for Taemin to have a sleepover at their house. A whole weekend. Just two days from then. Taemin is nervous and a little shaky as his case worker guides him out to take him back to the dorm, after saying goodbye, after getting hugs from both of them. As soon as he gets back to the dorm, he’s packing a bag and spilling word after word to the other members about everything that happened. They all seem just as confused and excited as Taemin.

Except that Friday, SHINee are guests for a Star King recording. Taemin’s never felt so nervous in his entire life, because he can’t fuck this up, there’s no room for error, he needs to do everything right and be the perfect guest or else Hodong won’t want him anymore, won’t even let him sleepover that, it will ruin everything.

But Hodong is as silly and goofy as ever, even carries Taemin around stage like he always does when SHINee comes to Star King, treats Taemin just exactly the same as always even though Taemin stutters more than he usually does and blinks more than he usually does.

Then after recording runs late and all the members are exhausted after a long day of school and practice and schedules, Taemin is slumped over on the dressing room couch, waiting for the other members to finish changing so they can go home. He’s tired and blinking slowly falling over Jinki’s lap when Hodong comes inside, speaks quietly to the senior manager, and then comes over to the couch to kneel in front of Taemin.

“Are you ready to come to our house?” he asks, smiling again in the same soft way he had in his case worker’s office.

Taemin didn’t realize he’d be leaving the shooting with Hodong, didn’t realize his manager had even brought the bag he’d packed two days. Taemin just nods, trying to stay quiet and calm and put together. And Hodong just slings Taemin’s bag over his shoulder and guides Taemin out of the room, out of the building, into the parking garage with a comforting arm held around Taemin’s shoulders.

“You must be tired,” Hodong says as he drives. “Your manager said you’ve had a long day.”

“Yeah,” Taemin says. “Kind of.”

“How was school today?”

“It was okay,” Taemin says, clasping and unclasping his hands in his lap. “Had a chemistry test.”

“How do you think you did?”

“I think I did okay,” Taemin says. “It was a little harder than the last test.”

It’s a little awkward and forced, but Taemin appreciates the school questions. They’re easy to answer. He talks about what he learned in math that day, what book he’s reading for his literature class, what war they’re learning about in history.

Then when they get home, dinner is prepared and waiting on the table, the three of them sit down together, and Taemin repeats the same answers for the same questions when Hodong’s wife asks them, even though Hodong has tried telling her that he’d already asked him all these questions.

“Do you like this type of dinner?” she asks instead.

“Yes, it’s delicious!” he answers immediately.

Taemin spends the entire weekend trying his absolute best to please them. To be nice and polite and follow every single tiny detail of the house rules they outlined. He helps wash dishes and takes out the trash and makes the bed they’re letting him sleep in every morning. He keeps everything in order in the room he’s staying in, no clothes on the floor, no mess in the bathroom, no clutter, nothing. On all accounts, he’s done everything right, done everything perfectly.

Taemin thinks it’s a good weekend. Even though he had to go to SHINee practice on Saturday morning and Hodong drove him and picked him up even though Taemin insisted he could get there on his own.

“It’s no trouble to take you to practice,” he insists.

He meets with his case worker that Tuesday after school.

“It was good, right?” he asks quickly, as soon as he enters her office, before he even sits down. “They liked me, right?”

“Did you like them?” she asks instead. She seems concerned, and Taemin has seen her get concerned like that before, and now he’s convinced he fucked it up, he fucked it all up.

He doesn’t sit down, his hand lingering on the back of the chair instead.

“They don’t want me anymore,” he says, his voice shaking. It’s not a question. He’s been through this enough times. But now he doesn’t know how he’ll ever go on Star King again if Hodong hates him.

“They adored you,” she says, and it throws Taemin off enough to make him fall in the chair. “But they were worried you didn’t like them.”

“But I did like them,” he says quietly.

“I explained that you’re just shy,” she tells him. “That it sometimes takes you a little while to open up more.”

“Do they still want me?”

“Very much so.”

It’s several more weekend sleepovers, then a couple week-long sleepovers, and then Taemin is officially moving into their house, into his new bedroom, with his new foster parents. But he doesn’t want another foster home, he doesn’t want more foster parents, he wants to be adopted.

“It’s just the next step to being adopted,” his case worker tells him for the millionth time. “It’s just a couple more months now.”

He’s on edge all the time now, even when he’s staying at the dorm instead. Because everything has to go right. Everything has to be perfect. He has to be perfect. Or else everything will be ruined and he’ll go right back to being alone and he can’t go through that again.

But Hodong and his wife always just tell him how amazing he is. How he’s just a delight of a boy. How happy he’s made their house, how it feels so much warmer, so much more like a home now that a child is living in it with them.

It’s too good to be true. He knows it’s too good to be true. It’s all got to be a prank, there’s a secret camera somewhere, they’re going to punk him. That’s the only explanation. It’s going to be the night before the set adoption at the courthouse and they’re going to tell him how it was all for tv, how stupid he is for thinking anyone could ever want to adopt him.

So just a couple weeks before it’s all supposed to be official, Taemin snaps. He acts out and he yells at them and breaks their rules and does presses every possible button. He stops making his bed. Stops keeping his room clean. Stops doing his homework. Starts staying late at the company building and not letting them know like they asked, starts staying at the dorm even on nights they specifically ask him not to, starts talking back anytime they try to discipline him.

And when Hodong finally snaps back and forces Taemin to sit on the couch and asks in what might be a louder voice than necessary what Taemin’s attitude is all about, his hands gripping Taemin’s arms, keeping him held down in front of him, Taemin just breaks down.

He’s crying, trying so hard to hold it back, but that only makes him shake more, heaving and gulping in air, his eyes squeezed shut but tears still pushing past and falling down his cheeks, pooling in the corners of his nose and lips until they’re spilling down his neck and wetting the collar of his shirt.

“What’s wrong?” Hodong asks, almost sounding like he’s begging, his voice soft and desperate and his hands moving from the way they were gripping Taemin’s arms to instead rub them up and down, trying to comfort him in anyway he can. “Please just tell us what’s going on with you. We can’t help if we don’t know what’s wrong.”

It takes a few minutes before Taemin stammers our a desperate, “Please.”

“Please what?” Hodong asks, moving instead to cup Taemin’s cheeks, to use a blanket from the couch to wipe the tears still falling from Taemin’s eyes.

Taemin sucks in a few breaths before whispering, “Please don’t let it be a prank.”

“What’s a prank?” he asks. “I don’t know what would be a prank, Taemin, honest.”

“Everything,” Taemin cries, fresh tears welling in his eyes. That’s when Hodong pulls him close, hugs him tight, and Taemin hides his face in his shoulder as he begs, “Please, please I just - please want me, please.”

His wife comes and sits down with them too, rubbing circles into Taemin’s back, agreeing with Hodong as they both insist, “We want you so much, we want to adopt you so much, we want you to be our son so much. Nothing’s going to change that. You not always being perfect isn’t going to change that.”

It takes a lot of reassurance. A lot of fierce insistence that they’ll love him no matter what. A lot of hugs and a lot of tears and a lot of comfort. But then just a couple weeks later, they’re at the courthouse and the judge has approved the adoption and everything is official, Taemin’s family name is officially changed, because he officially has a family.

He officially had parents. And he doesn’t really know how to react to it. He just knows he’s happy and ecstatic and overwhelmed.

And the only time airing it on tv is brought it up is when Hodong tells him it’s because he wants the whole world to know that Taemin is his son now, that he wants everyone to know that he’s the lucky one because he’s the one who gets the privilege of being Taemin’s father. That so many people have missed out on having such a wonderful son.

And the next time Taemin is on Star King, Hodong is the same as he always is when SHINee are guests. He carries Taemin around and teases him silly and makes a big show of how much he adores all the SHINee members. Except this time, Taemin is calling him Dad and Hodong’s face lights up more than ever and it’s so clear they both adore each other, it’s clear Taemin is thriving under the attention, and that Hodong is thriving giving the attention.

It’s not always easy, and it’s not always cute, but they’re a family now. And they love it, even when it’s difficult.