#I’m having fun and that’s what matters 😤

[fuzzyorangespoon]

this IS where i go to be cringe so unfollow me now 🥰

[cuteniaarts]

What if… Suiren in Vaatu’s colours 😳👀

[httpsserene]

𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐡 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐰/𝐥𝐧𝟒

📖𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you’re upset with the switch up the internet has pulled on you. a few years ago, everybody was saying you were too pretty for lando, but now they’re drooling over him? you will not be letting this slide.  📖𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: fluff. mild angst. humor. twt users being twt users. reader is a fashion designer (not important but mentioned). reader is also wild af. brain-rot. not beta-read. 📖𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: lando norris x fem!black!reader 📖𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: smau. 📖𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸: spice girl • aminé

𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲: in honor of lando's birthday :) look y’all—i saw one tik tok edit that was like “why is lando kinda…” and i audibly said KINDA???? and then i got mad like, how are people just noticing how fine he is. and then i saw another one that was like, “oh everybody thinks charles is the prettiest on the grid…but now introducing: lando” and i almost threw my phone across the room :) so this is inspired by me flexing that i have always thought lando was fine, and that i’m also mad that i have to share him. loves, this is complete brain rot and it took me years to recreate these ig posts for some reason; have fun reading !!!

all pics are from pinterest/op's

want to be added to my taglist or submit a request? send me an ask!

all of my posts can be found from my table of contents

anything on your mind? talk to me!

twitter • three years ago, 2020

instagram

yninstagram • three years ago, 2020

liked by landonorris, mclaren, maxfewtrell, lewishamilton, and 16,175,978 others

yninstagram lando norris is the man i want to spend the rest of my life with. he’s perfection personified. the most soft, kindest, sweetest, considerate, and funniest man has allowed me the privilege of being his girlfriend. i’m forever thankful that we get to grow together. he’s the cutest, hottest, and prettiest boy to ME–and that’s all i care about, and that’s all you need to accept. i don’t give a FUCK about your opinions on who *i* should date. i’m the only person who’s decisions matter concerning my romantic relationships. why the hell should y’all bitches who don’t even use their own photos for their pfp’s and use a k-idol’s face instead, dictate who is hot or not. it’s incredibly vein, disgusting, and immature behavior from people who think they’re my fans. acting like jealous school children isn't cute; i was never your property. it’s hilarious too, considering some of y’all are grown women DOUBLE my age talking shit about my business–go worry about why your kids don’t want anything to do with you anymore.

tagged landonorris

view comments

yninstagram matter of fact, go ahead and change your little profile pictures to real pictures of you, i don’t want to see any filters. then we can all see that all y’all want to do is spread insecurity stemming from your own self-hatred 🙂

yninstagram and while i have you all here, my winter season clothes will be restocked on the 15th.

comments have been disabled.

twitter • imessage • 2023

instagram

landonorris • august 24th • zandvoort ⚑

liked by yninstagram, mclaren, carlossainzjr, and 547,930 others

landonorris back in my favorite place

view comments

yninstagram first!! stay back hoes 🤺🤺

➥ user being called a hoe by y/n is not what i expected this year

➥ user she has notif’s 😭on 😭 for 😭 lando 😭

yninstagram how r u so HOT 🥵

yninstagram that sweater is mine now 👺

➥ landonorris i can just get another for you love

➥ yninstagram …i want this one lan🫤

➥ landonorris okay it’s yours 🫠

user neither of them have any backbone when it comes to each other

➥ yninstagram as it should be 😤

user might have to trip and fall into lando’s arms this weekend

➥ yninstagram i’m flying in tomorrow rethink your plan 🙂

➥ user i think i’ll avoid lando like the plague this weekend 😅

➥ user smart decision babes

landonorris • september 12th

liked by yninstagram, lnfour, tumitravel, and 425,395 others

landonorris coming in hot @ tumitravel

view comments

yninstagram come in me—i mean come home to me haha 😳😊

➥ landonorris babe please not in front of the sponsors 😧

➥ tumitravel oh no pls don’t stop for us 🫣 we stan y/n

user i saw this photo shoot LIVE!!! lando was so sweet, he signed my hat for me, and he smells so good 😩😩

➥ yninstagram i’ll chop off your nose and then you can be voldemort for halloween 👺

user i don’t know if i want to choke him or have him choke ME

➥ yninstagram how about me choking you

➥ user omg i’m down for a threesome 😳

➥ yninstagram choking you to death :)

➥ user i don’t wanna play this game anymore

landonorris • september 18th • singapore ⚑

liked by yninstagram, mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 950,706 others

landonorris whatttaaaaa weekend ❤

view comments

yninstagram GODDAMN

carlossainzjr vamossss landito ❤️💪🏼🏆

➥ landonorris ayyyy 🧡🥳🥳

➥ yninstagram my boysssss 🥰

yninstagram that’s my boyfriend 🤤

➥ landonorris last photo is just for you 😋

yninstagram so proud of you baby, i’m running out of room to put all these trophies <3

➥ landonorris v happy to be your trophy husband

user i’m in love with this singapore haircut 🤤 thank you for not fucking it up lando 😅

➥ yninstagram mmm yes, i’m thrilled it’s still long on the top 😍 it gives me something to tug on

user surprised y/n allowed him to post that last one

➥ yninstagram he doesn’t need my permission, but i get to see him naked so i rdc

user quadrant helmet it so beautiful! i want it to stay 😭

➥ user i want him to fuck me with it on

➥ yninstagram out of pocket…but completely valid honestly—delete your account 😊

liked by landonorris

yninstagram carlando 1-2 makes up for the war i’m fighting in these comments

mclaren • novemeber 8th

liked by landonorris, f1, yninstagram, and 97,293 others

mclaren pulling up fresh with @ landonorris

view comments

yninstagram not pictured: @ landonorris pulling up to OUR flat

➥ user y/n said “he’s coming home with meeeee”

f1 does he come with the jacket👀

➥ yninstagram no, but the price of me folding you like a lawn chair is included in shipping & handling

➥ f1 i’ll go sit down 😅

➥ user she’s fighting the f1 main??? this is mentally-ill behavior y/n!!!

yninstagram mclaren admin go stand in a corner and stare at the wall

➥ mclaren they made me post this!!! i would NEVER risk upsetting you ma’am 🙇🏼‍♀️

➥ yninstagram no talking from the timeout corner 🫵🏽

user we don’t care about the jacket. which organ do i have to sell to buy an hour with him?

➥ yninstagram both kidneys

➥ user but you need at least one kidney to live?

➥ yninstagram how,,,unfortunate

user model!lando always glowssssss

➥ yninstagram it’s the 9 step skincare routine i have him on, you can follow steps 1-8 on his ig

➥ user what’s step 9?

➥ yninstagram kissing me 🤭

lando.jpg • novemeber 13th • with my wife ⚑

liked by yninstagram, carlossainzjr, mclaren, team_quadrant, and 976,234 others

lando.jpg lucky to have found you so early in my life. you're my best birthday gift.

tagged yninstagram

view comments

yninstagram posting my side boob on the jpg account? forgiven since you called me your wife 🥺

➥ lando.jpg thought i’d start practicing your future title, mrs. norris

➥ yninstagram come back to bed. you can start practicing giving me your kids too.

user i want y/n to bury my head in between her boobs

➥ lando.jpg no. i sleep there also—you’re blocked 🤗

danielricciardo as long as i’m the godfather, i can forget i’ve ever read this 🤮

➥carlossainzjr get in line mate, i’ve called being baby norris’ godfather ages ago

➥maxverstappen wait your turn mates, clearly i am the correct choice for godfather

➥maxfewtrell ah, i believe you lads have forgotten my existence

➥yninstagram baby norris doesn’t exist yet, no need to fight to the death rn 🙄

➥lando.jpg i’ll convince the mrs to have four, for my racing number and so you each have a godchild 😅

user y/n may have won the war, but i’ve won the battle—bisexuals have been fed today!!!

➥user girl, i’m straight and i’ve zoomed in on the last photo an unhealthy amount of times

➥user i diagnose you with y/n-sexuality it’s incredibly common in humans

liked by lando.jpg

oscarpiastri you two are made for each other 😀

➥lando.jpg this sounds like an insult 🙂

➥yninstagram i thought kids under 13 weren’t allowed on ig

➥oscarpiastri you’re not even a year older than me @ yninstagram

mclaren mama y papa

➥ yninstagram still on timeout.

➥ mclaren :(

taglist: @saintslewis @cherry2stems @lorarri @inloveallthetime @mindless-rock @biancathecool @barnestatic @my-ylenia @katekipshidze @darleneslane @lovingaphroditesworld @smoothopz

© httpsserene2023

[fulltacs]

fuck it. free the blocklist.

tw for ableism, death threats, cw for general rage-inducing behavior

this is not exhaustive, this is a starting point. BLOCK these people, do not interact.

- literally anyone who interacts with @/ladygoth at this point. I don’t doubt that she and her friends are responsible for at least half of the hate anons received by darkfic writers

- as for the people who were “protecting” codslut/Myka… they’ve all been in my notifs liking my update post and un-liking sheheals post and deleting anything they might’ve said on the situation. yay, I guess. I may have unblocked you, but the other nosy people following everything certainly didn’t.

- on a related note, anyone who goes by “Myka” or “Hannah” gets blocked ON SIGHT (half-joking). I don’t care if that’s your name (please don’t put your real name on the internet) you better make up a new one 😤

- /bookobsessedram, /mothymunson, @starry-eyedblog , /ghostsbimbo, @ghostlywhiskey and @ghostly-whiskey, /angelofacidx, and @ladyxtiger were all involved in being assholes in the discord as seen here. not pictured: /bjornthebearguy and someone going by “spiders” in the server (not to be confused with /notspiders, my bad). and i’m sorely disappointed in /bunnyreaper, as mod, for letting them continue to chase people off, even though it had been brought to their attention before.

AND ESPECIALLY @simonrillleyyysss and @simonrillleyyyysss2 and @joostyklein (all their known alts). As a matter of fact, fuck everyone who’s friends with them (including /konigsblog). Jordi, G***, whatever the fuck you’re going by, I am so fucking sick of seeing your name in my DMs. So many people messaged me to say it was you and your gang’s hateful behavior that drove them away from the fandom, and I can vouch for some of them because I was there the whole time. What the fuck is wrong with you guys. I have a hard time believing your apology means ANYTHING when you used the discord to lead a brigade on Bo back in January, and CLEARLY HAVEN’T STOPPED being an asshole since then (“I still don’t like soapskneebrace either way”). Bo and Madi were not your only victims, again, there were quite a few others who came forward. You bullied anyone who disagreed with you and at the end of the day you only care about your follower count.

The craziest part is that most of the people we watched you bully are open about their autism diagnosis. And this was just a casual observation I made, not even an accusation, but five minutes later you make your first-ever very casual not-at-all-sus claim of having autism.

do you think we were born fucking yesterday. Trying to get ahead of ableism accusations by suddenly claiming to be autistic, even if true, is not gonna have the effect you thought it would, cause I wasn’t the only person who clocked that as WEIRD. (Internalized ableism is still ableism, btw.)

Just shut the fuck up. For once. It’s THAT SIMPLE. Leave everyone alone. Make your little posts without feeling the need to be assholes to other people.

Fun fact: I have received no death or rape threats in my anon mail, and maybe that’s because I’m not a very big blog. Or maybe it’s cause I know what all your fucking faces look like (hello, internet safety where?). I said fuck all y’all yesterday and I stand by that. Hopefully your time here is met with the same amount of love you’ve shown your peers.

[queenofallimagines]

Blue Lock boys and having a S/O who has a sex toy collection

A/N: This is extremely self indulgent and came to me while browsing the internet. Part one of 2 and These are also all real toys so if you know exactly what I’m talking about lmao kudos to you✌🏿

Isagi:

- lmao oh boy

- Brand new to this world

- Only has the blue flesh light you got him as a joke for Christmas

- He uses it more often than he’d like to admit…

- So when he comes to your place and he’s in the mood to get nasty

- You gotta hold his hand bc he’s gunna be a little nervous

- You ask him if he’s cool with toys and he’s like ofc

- Very excited to see what you use to make yourself feel good

- Then he is taken aback to see a box of sex toys ORGANIZED BY COLOR

- “We in for a more rough mood today or like a quick thing?”

- “YOU USE THEM FOR DIFFERENT SCENES??”

- Let him take a look through your treasure chest(pun intended)

- And he’s like 🙂 bc how does he use that

- “So whats this?? It’s like flat but it has silicone flowers on the top??”

- “Oh that’s a grinder you strap it to a pillow”

- “….and it’s supposed to be green and blue?”

- “The colors on this one were pretty 😤 aesthetic matters too!”

- Best way is to just dive in and let him test out each one

- His favorite so far is this pretty little one called CLAUDETTE and he likes grinding on it while he kisses you and fucking into it

- Likes how the colors look all funky and fun

- “Is that-“

- “A football colored one yes it is.”

- “…..you didn’t have this before you met me did you?”

- “Listen it’s not MY fault that you be away on games a lot and this just so happened to be in your girth!”

- He will indulge you and do those dick mold cast things and will demand to see videos of you fucking yourself with it when he’s away

- Nothing would make him rush home faster than seeing a video of you moaning all pretty in nothing but a spare jersey of his bounding up and down on an exact replica of his cock begging him to hurry home

- Fuck the game he’s on the first fight back to Japan IMMEDIATELY

- LOVES to use them in punishments!

- When you’re acting all bratty he’ll pretend he’s not on his very last nerve

- Not super good at controlling his true emotions but when he’s calling you pet names making you feel all flustered can you really tell he’s upset?

- So when he flips a switch and tells you to “hold fucking still or I’ll tie your hands to the headboard” and he’s in between your legs holding you down it’s definitely a surprise

- Has one of the vibes that are controlled by phone

- He’s not so cruel as take you for a stroll in public

- (Also he really doesn’t want to get slammed with a public indecency charge because you can’t keep quiet)

- He’ll make you wear it as he goes about his business in the house

- Ignoring you without a care in the world as he’s relaxing on the couch and you’re begging him to bend you over anything

- “Hm? I didn’t hear a ‘I’m sorry for being a brat Yoichi’ so all that crying ain’t doing nothing”

- He has really good control when he’s pissed

- Usually that glassy eyed look while begging him to ruin you would be enough to have him on you like a dog in heat

- Buuuuuy unfortunate for you upset yoichi is some cold

- He’s literally not even flinching as you grind in his thigh making a mess all over his pants

- Rolling his eyes before shooting you the most annoyed look

- “You gunna keep making a mess on my pants or you going to fucking apologize already?”

- “I-I’m sorry Yoichi… please I need you so bad.”

- “Fucking finally.”

- Throws your legs over his shoulders but he’s still mad so he’s gunna edge and then overstimulate you before he even pulls his cock out

Nagi:

- oh he’s so silly

- Like he’s definitely like??

- Probably accidentally finds your stash before YOU show him

- “Oi, what’s this thing over here?”

- And you walk in and he’s messing w a silicone octopus cockring

- Boy if you don’t stay out my mf closet-

- Wants you to show him all the cool weird stuff you have

- “How do you even use this?”

- “Like any other toy???”

- “This tentacle is NOT like a regular sex toy.”

- Does it again by laying down on some of your stuffies and sees one w a obvious zipper

- Opens it to see a dildo inside

- “Why is this IN here?”

- “So nosey mfs like YOU don’t just come in my room and find my shit.”

- “…..that’s fair.”

- His fav for you to use on him is this gold and grey silicone stroker that has skin like texture

- When he’s too lazy to move he likes you being on top of him kissing and biting his neck while you slowly move the toy on his cock

- Will have him squirming and moaning loud as hell like you’ve never seen before

- Nagi isn’t the most vocal but he’s moaning like a pornstar

- “Ohhhh fuuuck pretty keep stroking me like that.”

- No better way to get him to fuck you like you want then to slow stroke him with a fleshlight or stroker

- Asks you to make a cast of your pussy

- When you actually make him one it’s like never brought up again until one night you get a text around 2am a few hours before nagi is set to touchdown back in Japan

- Of him fucking it like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do

- Not sure who the fuck recorded that for him🤨 bc it’s too good and so are the angles to be a shaky one handed quick video

- Moans about how he can’t wait to feel you cream on his cock

- As the most obscene noises play from your speakers with the image of seishiro fucking into a fleshlight of your likeness all messy with lube and cum

- From the way the video starts off he had to have been at it for a while already

- You catch a glimpse of his hazy eyes as he’s mercilessly pounding into the toy

- When the video ends you get another text from him

- ‘Just got out the airport be home in 25’

Hiori:

- you’d think he’d be like weirded out

- Or confused

- Nah

- He’s seen all the gamer porn there is to see

- Monster and fantasy themed sex toys are a walk in the park

- “Woah, they like make dragon dicks that you can actually ride?”

- Favorites are Ophiuchus the Forgotten, Spyro Slim, and the twilight Moon

- He likes textures so anything with more ridges and bumps the better!

- Likes ones that seem normal. He’s a sneaky fucker so hidden in plain sight is great

- Like oh you thought this was a regular lipstick? Nope! A bullet vibe

- Has like 6 of these in your purse at all times

- Annoying as will pull a “hey can I talk to ya for a sec?”

- And then lead you into a secluded area and shove a toy in you while having his mouth do the heavy lifting

- “Mmm~ taste better when you’re this scared.”

- Someone get his ass 🙄😒

- Let’s you fuck him but like you’re a service top at most

- Not very try willing to give up power because that means he looses the game

- Will tie you up and ride you

- Puts on his most slutty performance and really lets himself get whiny

- As soon as he unties you it’s a chance to get him

- Like oh so anyway we’re not done🥰 now you can’t touch

- Will send you links to stores asking you what you think

- “Check out this dark souls one”

- “Yo, baby who the FUCK is that going to fit inside”

- “:((( but it glows in the dark”

[marblepasta-creepyhornet]

EJ, Toby and Cody (plus whoever else you wanna write for lol) straight SIMPING for a plus size female reader? 🙏🙏

Read my mind, babes 💙

Creeps x Plus Size!Fem!Reader

———

EJ

No matter what you look like EJ’s always simping for you (he’ll only make it exclusively known to you and you alone). Not because of embarrassment, but only because he likes focusing any amount of love and attention he can muster to you only! 🥹

But, honey, if you’re plus sized, HE IS ON YOU LIKE BUTTER ON A SLICE OF TOAST- 😉😏

You’re thicc in all the right places and he wants you in anyway way, shape and form! He adores every inch of you 🥺

Let’s say you’re insecure, he will shower you with compliments, affection and love. But, if that isn’t your style, he’ll do anything you ask of him to help you feel better. 😩

He’d die if he saw you in a crop top and shorts! The way the shorts hugged your thighs that this man wants to be squished between, combined with your cute tummy showing, he’d be all over you! 😊 (I’d simp for you too (y/n))

If anyone in the mansion bullies you? It’s over for them. I’m serious, Jack almost killed Jeff when he felt the need to make a rude comment about you.

Toby:

He’s very vocal about your body! He loves to constantly remind you that you’re pretty and beautiful (it especially helps on days where you’re feeling insecure 😣). Like his words calm you down and help you feel better. He’s always making sure that you know that he loves you and doesn’t want you to doubt yourself :)

He will literally start fights if anyone makes a derogatory comment about your body 👊😤

This man will W O R S H I P you! When yall are in the bedroom, he’s kissing every part of your body and bringing the praise comments 🥺🥺🥺

“S-s-so pretty,” “All mi-mi-mine,” “M-my pretty gir-girl,” (need me a man or woman like this fr 🫣)

He’s a 100/10 simp for you!

Cuddling? You’re big spoon most of the time (not that you mind)

Circling back onto days where you feel insecure, Toby will help cheer you up by spending the day doing things you like.

He’s very committed 😌

Hugs from behind are a given, just accept it. He loves showing his love for your body through physical touch 🧡

Also- one night while walking through the woods, Toby heard some assholes making fun of you and he fucked them up- ANYWAYS 😗

Cody (X-Virus)

Like EJ and Toby, he’s all for worship, BUT he isn’t as vocal of the two-

(Also how you look literally doesn’t matter) sweetie, here’s there for your intelligence, but not in the way of using you, but in the way of him wanting to be near you 👀

He’ll have you sitting in his lap while he’s writing in his lab, you get lowkey paranoid that you’re too heavy and you’ll try to move, but bro is dragging you right back 🙂‍↕️

Now, I like to think that a bit like EJ, he likes to be creative in his free time, so one day while you two are in his lab, he’ll sketch you while you’re sitting around 🥹

ROMANTIC GESTURES!!! This man is all for buying you flowers, chocolates, and whatever else to show you that he loves you.

Also if he hears anyone talking shit, he kidnaps them as a lab rat for tortuous experiments ;)

As for cuddling? Say he’s sat on the edge of the bed waiting for you when you come into view from the doorway. He’s instantly wrapping his arms around you and gently pulling you into bed with him- 😭 (I’m gonna be sick-)

HEAR ME OUT! HE STEALS YOUR HOODIES! MF sneaks into your closet and just *YOINK* 🏃💨

It’s honestly so cute how your hoodies look so oversized on him- they go down almost to his knees and covers his whole arm to a little past the tips of his fingers.

But you don’t mind though because he’s honestly the best thing to happen to you and he appreciates you 😭

[sakuralovespossums]

🌹 Osamu Dazai x Wife Reader 🌹

I kinda based you and Dazai’s relationship off of Jack and Rosemary from The Walten Files, so expect lots of wholesomeness

You and Dazai met around the time he just left the Port Mafia and was trying to make a new life for himself. You had also recently fled from another shady organization and was keeping a low profile

One day while walking home from the store, you spotted a man attempting to jump off a bridge and quickly rushed over to stop him, causing you both to fall in the water

Luckily you survived but were left wet and freezing. You angrily dragged him back to your apartment and cleaned him up, yelling and scolding him the entire time while your gentle actions revealed your true kindness

Dazai was soon intrigued by your strange willingness to help a stranger like him and decided to stick around a bit to see how long he could mess with you till you grew tired of him

As time passed, he slowly realized what an angel you were and ended up falling HARD for you (and you vice versa)

I’m one of the people who believe Dazai’s ideal woman would be someone with an optimistic mindset and pure/strong morality. She would also have a unique way of looking at things that kinda sets her apart from others

Realistically, I feel like Dazai wouldn’t open up about his past/vulnerable side to his lover nor marry them until a few years later since he’s VERY serious about keeping his personal info hidden until he 1000% fully trusts him them. But for the sake of this fic, let’s say he does tell you about his past and marries you shortly after his entrance exam in the ADA

You also work at the ADA as a clerk (suggested by Dazai)

You and Dazai are known as the cute couple within the ADA (a lot like Junichiro and Naomi but not creepy)

Dazai already follows and clings to you like a desperate puppy wherever you go, so you can imagine just how chaotic and distracting it gets at work

He’s always ditching his paperwork to flirt with you and then try to get you to ditch with him

Kunikida seriously wonders why the president ever thought it was a good idea to let Dazai’s wife work in the same building as him

He gushes about you nonstop omg it’s so annoying

*Kicks open door* “Guess what lunch my gorgeous wife made me today?!~~”

*Angry Kunikida eye twitch*

I cannot state enough times just how much this man WORSHIPS you like your his goddess, his shining light, his angel

A lot of his acts of love are pretty dramatic and silly, but it comes from a genuine place as he he feels he can trust you enough to share his more vulnerable side and dark past

He hasn’t shared everything with you though since I feel there are some things he can never trust anyone to share with, no matter what, not even Oda. But you understand that and accept him for who he is and his flaws

It’s your unwavering acceptance of him and his ugliness that really made him wanna spend his life with you

He never takes off his wedding ring

You do a lot of stuff together (eating, bathing, napping, errands, etc)

Only thing you don’t do together is cooking and cleaning since he always almost destroys the apartment

“Osamu, you are staying on that couch until I’m done cooking this soup!” 😤

“But belladonna, how can I ever help you prepare your delicious meal?” 🥺

“By not burning the place down!”

Your a lot shorter than Dazai and have a plump/curvy body type (I just really like the image of lanky Dazai having a short plump wife to pick up and cuddle 💕)

Your known for you sweet and patient personality, as well as artistic worldview that intrigues your husband

Your favorite hobby is painting. It’s something that helped you get through your dark days and your so good at it that you’ve sold a few paintings to your neighbors

Of course Dazai is your no. 1 model

Sometimes he’ll also paint something for you (he doesn’t paint as much since he’s more busy) and you decide to create a small art room to hang up both of your works

Fun fact: The real life Osamu Dazai was also a painter

Your no pushover though and can get pretty scary when angry (maybe not as scary as Dazai, but still intimidating)

If anything were to happen to Dazai, you won’t hesitate to do whatever or go wherever to save him. You don’t care who you have to face or how dangerous it might be, your fetching your husband back no matter what

Because of this, he’ll concoct plans ahead of time to best keep you out of harms way

Yeah, Dazai is still his manipulative self, but does it all out of love and what he thinks is best for you, wether you agree or not

God help anyone who even tries to lay a hand on you because Dazai will NOT hold back in letting them know what happens to those who try to harm HIS wife

I don’t really see you guys having kids. Your already happy enough just having each other (and also your dangerous professions)

Dazai doesn’t like you meeting any of his former Port Mafia peers and tries to keep them away from you

Though I imagine you and Chuuya probably have met at some point. He doesn’t give you much thought until he finds out you’re that idiot’s wife and he freaks out!!

If Akutagawa found out about you, I think he would also be shocked but then grow jealous of how close you are. How the hell was a weakling like you able to easily gain Dazai-san’s trust and admiration when he couldn’t?!

[itsrlymine]

Honestly your post and ask responses have really made me realize I’ve been on this damn app way to long and yk repeating the cycle. I need to lock in fr fr and no bs. I’m ready to live this dream life and nothing else! Plus reading all these succes stories are so fun, so I need to lock in😤

LMAOO! I just want you know it's not about how long you stay on this app. You can stay here all damn day. All that matters is that you know in your mind that you have what you want NOW.

[nockfellblues]

Integra with a partner who is an artist (painter/ singer/ all around performer) :D

Yes! I’ve always envisioned Integra as a lover of the arts- especially traditional art? She seems like she’d enjoy a peaceful trip to an art gallery or museum. Sorry for the delay on this one, between work, the Summer games showcases and being sick I didnt do much besides veg out whenever i was free this week lmao Anyways! Have some Integra being soft because, dammit, she deserves it 😤

Warnings: None

Integra definitely reworks her entire study so there’s room for her SO to work in the same space as her

Artist!SO will get a whole art corner with a beautiful custom easel and comfy desk space right next to the windows for optimal lighting and an inspiring view- whatever they need to spark and stoke their creative process

Would immediately say no if her SO asked her to model but secretly is super flattered. If they draw or paint her anyways, she’ll pretend to be annoyed but will cherish the hell out of it- They’ll find the work later tucked away in a safe place, framed safely so it wont smudge or crack.

Keeps a portfolio hidden in her desk of sketches her SO deemed not good enough and meant to toss. Alucard and Seras have caught onto this and actively keep an eye out for other loose drawings- they sneak them into her study between paperwork and folders like a fun little surprise. Seras finds her reactions soo sweet- its so hard to not say anything when she sees Integras eyes soften at the half-hearted sketch! So cute!

Integra finds the sounds of sketching comforting- that little scratchy noise as her SO absently hums to themself is like catharsis, especially when she’s dealing with a lot of stress

If her SO is sighing or muttering, having a tough time with conceptualizing something or is going through art block of some kind? She does get a little annoyed with it, but she understands.

Sets her work aside and comes up behind her SO to wrap her arms around their shoulders from behind. “If you sigh at it anymore im going to toss that canvas out the window. What’s the matter, love?” She means this entirely lovingly, but will absolutely do it.

Musician!SO would absolutely have a space in her study too- She’d move offices to a whole different room if the acoustics are good enough, she doesn’t care.

Maybe not the biggest fan of hearing her SO practicing a new peice of complex work- the repetition of practicing the same sections over and over to perfect them would get on her nerves after so long.

“Love, I adore you, but if you play that part one more time i’m going to lose it. Please, play literally anything else.” She means this with the utmost love and care, but hearing the same section over and over is killing her.

Adores when they play free form compositions. Just starting with a generally familiar melody and letting the music develop a life of its own? She could listen to them for hours. She will listen to them for hours.

Definitely will lose track of time listening to them play- Sometimes gets a little too distracted and zones out to the melody when she’s working on a particularly boring bit of paperwork. Before she knows it, its nearly dusk and she’s gotten little to nothing done. Honestly? worth it.

She cherishes her SOs hands so, so much. She knows how much of their passion is dependent on them and how devastating their loss or degradation could be.

In quiet moments Integra will softly trace the callouses on their hands, massaging their palms and wrists, setting a gentle kiss to the back of their knuckles- absolute reverence for the beautiful hands that can create so much that she loves.

Integra being soft with an SO makes my brain go fuzzy- I just want her to be happy dammit 😭

[nobodysdaydreams]

This started as a joke, but since I’ve received messages about it (context here):

[salmonpiffy]

SALMONPIFFY YOU'RE NOT CRINGE AT ALL!!! ALSO EVEN IF YOU ARE CRINGE, IT SHOULDN'T MATTER!!! AS LONG AS YOU HAVE FUN, THAT'S WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT!!! CRINGE CULTURE IS DEAD ANYWAY!!! 😤😤😤👏👏👏

ALSO YOUR ARTWORK IS AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL!!! WHENEVER YOU MAKE A NEW POST, IT MAKES MY DAY AND BRINGS A SMILE TO MY FACE!!! I LOVE YOUR ARTWORK SO MUCH!!! 😭😭😭💗💗💗

I’m cringe…BUT I’M FREE 🔥🔥🔥

[gardens-of-may]

ENTRY ONE - beginning to chap. 49

spoilers ahead

aves and jamie are lit so cute together 

what the fuck is their wager??

so confusing 

ok daddy 

i’m ashamed

ummm anyway…

what’s stick up his ass doing here??

POOKIE 😍😍

she’s traumatized 😣 

i feel so bad

i just want to hug her and cry with her

i’m gonna cry 

anyway what’s he talking about 😬

school 💀 

BITCH WHAT

people thought he got burnt alive?

no he just crisped up a lil

ohhh on hawthorne island…

hm

i already know the synopsis for tgg so hmph

SHE STARTED THE FIRE 🫢🫢😱😱🤯

what if… she was just a girl? 🎀

i kinda doubt it but anyway 

ANOTHER POOKIE 😍😍

what the fuck is this bitch planning? 🤨

eugh 

is that denial i sense?

oh her

THIS POOR GIRL

WHAT THE FUCK

why is he here?????

oh shit

what are they doing now??

I THOUGHT YOU WERENT SUPPOSED TO SAY ANYTHING 

i cannot handle mystery i swear-

another game fun

avery and jameson totally didn’t like almost die 

no

twelve…?

SO HE KNEW

HAHAHAHA

what the fuck

JUST GIVE ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER 😭😭

he was a bad boy he did some bad things 

pookie don’t stare at him

omg he’s a poet

ugh bro ruined everything 😒

NO BABY NEEDS HER BEAUTY SLEEP

i want libby’s pajamas 😤

what is “mrs. laughlin” yapping about??

no thea

i’m confused again

pookie 👹

THEY CAN DO IT I BELIEVE IN THEM YES 

WHO IS S AND Z????

oh i’m stupid

i’m too stupid for these books

ok smarties

WHAT DID YOU FUCKING READ MISS???

ohh takes the you’re adopted jokes too far

IS TOBY AVERY’S DAD????

no

might have js spoiled it for myself BUT I DONT CARE 

i’m going to CRY

she’s serious now

i’m terrified 

wow he told what she already knew 

hmm

i think she likes him

oh my gosh hehehe 🤭 

OH MY GOD

oh poop not stick up his ass

i can’t handle this

beatdown?

they’re such boys

stop they’re actually fighting?

i hate them so much

nvm they’re sweet

what the fuck

i wouldn’t have survived that 

nash is one of the best brothers 

i feel so bad for avery

THIS BITCH IS ABOUT TO BE FUCKING DEAD

alisa gets it 🤭

what is this game????

POOKIE IRL??

what

STOPPP

libby…

he probably like staged his death

LIBBY

avery! 

JENWND

have we found another father??

NEESHWJSDHDHS

DHHDJEK

THEY KISSED SJSNENW

i’m lowk kinda jealous BUT IT DOENT MATTER SKDNSN

jennifer when i catch you-

JS LET THEM HAPPY

stick up ass is jealous 

i love xander 

tensions are high and it’s too casual so i’m ending this here

end of chap. 48

[yowyowyaoi]

Sasori’s Daily Texts from the Akatsuki

From Tobi/Obito

Obviously.

You can gloat all you want but the fact of the matter is you’re wrong; NOTHING is eternal. 

But can you keep it up without chakra strings? 🤔

Asleep or awake it’s all the same thing.

Go ahead and tell them. They’ll just think you’re crazy 😜 

I’ve tried but Hidan is insufferable and the only way to truly hurt Kakuzu is in his wallet.

Ok please just look at this tooth I feel like it’s throbbing out of my head 😣

Me and you? Teaming up? What a novel idea … REJECTED.

It’s not ridiculous. When you were human did you never just eat a bag of sugar?? It’s so soothing.

He said no cats or dogs. Not a thing about birds. And besides if Itachi can have 900 crows I can have a parakeet. 😤

From Zetsu

I don’t know why YOU get to keep all the best bodies every single time 😒 Your art isn’t more important as my stomach.

I licked his arm once but my goodness he had such a bitter aftertaste.

Clay and gunpowder. Sometimes aftershave.

It wasn’t me this time. Must have been an animal. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Me either! No Bowel Movement Club 🥳

I imagine it’s only the first blow that truly hurts. After that the body goes into too much shock to register the pain. 

From Nagato

Well I figured that with your expertise in puppet chakra control, my bodies wouldn’t be that much different to you.

Redhead unity ✊🏻

Let’s be real, here; Konan is the one running this thing.

I can if it’s cut into very small pieces. And drink lots of water afterwards.

At least yours wasn’t a goddamned pervert.

Clearly I can’t stop these things. All I can do is strongly advise you three use protection with them. Our organization is not equipped to care for babies.

I’ve never really had time to properly train it. I’ve never even heard that much about it before. Maybe Itachi will know.

Yes but I firmly believe we choose our families. And I chose this one. Even Hidan.

From Konan

No, thank you. I’ve learned to appreciate my flaws and live with them.

Okay once again, PLEASE read that book I got you on how to talk to women. For the love of God. 🤦‍♀️

Actually most of them make me sneeze; that’s why I started making paper ones lol 

Of course I can teach you. Why do you want to learn? So you can dance with a certain someone 😏

Yeah, preferably one that’ll give me a pick-up in the mornings.

If you use your chakra strings to make him trip down the stairs I will love you for forever.

I know you don’t eat but you should come for the conversations.

I know he’s been using mine the bottle was full 3 days ago and now it’s almost empty 😡

From Kisame

Itachi and I are traveling past there on our next mission. If you write down what herbs you need I’d be happy to pick them up for you on our way back.

I’m sorry; if I’d known you wanted to use the body I wouldn’t have chewed off the hands 😣

Well I suppose both have caffeine but to me, tea is more calming.

I understand but if it happens again, tell him I won’t be looking the other way. 

I don’t know. If he’s not sleepwalking he’s up for days at a time. I’m worn out trying to keep up 🫠

Please join us; Monopoly seems like it’d be your game.

I stayed until they wanted to do karaoke. Then I snuck out the back door.

That’s more Zetsu’s thing. I only do it if I’m really hungry.

Ah but, if you’re truly going to live forever, why not have some fun with life?

Yes I’ve noticed. Everyone has. But I’m fairly certain Deidara sees nobody but YOU in that way.

From Itachi

My thanks.

Not so bad today actually 

I would just say “ignore it” but he’ll probably throw a bomb into your face so 🤷🏻‍♂️

Well I was going to paint it yellow so it’d be more cheerful but Kisame thinks it would drive me crazy after a few weeks.

Watch the video I just sent and tell me that’s not Hidan 😂

Kisame said to ask you two. Tell Dei they have bakudan.

They just like to sit on top of them. I promise they aren’t pecking or causing any damage to the wood.

One of the funniest things I ever read. Laughed so hard I had to go to bed early because my head was pounding so hard after. But don’t tell Hidan, he’d kill me.

I’m not sure. But after I die you’re free to take one of my eyes and put it into your puppet to see.

From Hidan

No really DO you have one? 🤔

Wtf are you gonna do tho like won’t you catch on fire in the sun?!

He’s my best friend and I love him in a not gay way. So it IS my business asshole.

Thanks puppet dick, I’ll make Kakuzu pay you later. He prob won’t but 🤷🏼‍♂️

No fuck that, that cake was MINE they’re just being little bitches about it 

Damn could you be any gayer for him?

Wait, CAN you fly??

Stop being stingy puppet fuck just give me an arm that shoots fire it’ll be an early birthday present pleeeeease 

Idc get this thing out of my room it’s creeping me tf out 😒

From Kakuzu

I’ve tried but the only way I could see it legitimately working is if I sewed his mouth shut.

Oh of course. I’m always happy to spend an evening surrounded by culture.

That would be ideal but you know how sensitive Leader is about his appearance.

Yes but it’s the most expensive there. You’d be better off disguising yourself and getting it from your old village.

Honestly, at 91? I’m surprised it hasn’t turned to dust yet.

Perhaps Kisame would join us. Give us an evening away from the wives.

I know but what else could we do? He refuses to accept treatment. The only way we could “help” is slipping it into his tea.

Page 34. I wrote notes along the side of the diagram.

I would rip out all of my hearts before I let anyone, including you, spend money on something like that.

From Deidara

No but I’m pretty sure you enjoy making me beg.

Wasn’t me. And you can’t prove otherwise 😈

Your lack of appreciation for my art is truly the most horrible thing about you 😒

Well tough shit it’s MY turn to choose and that’s what we’re doing

Well yeah it’s awkward but I don’t want you worrying. I’m *yours*. I’ve made that clear.

Idc I’ll wear it every single day 😭

If Itachi or Kisame asks, me and Hidan were with you from 12-5 yesterday. Okay?

Keep sending pics like that and you’re gonna end me 🥵

Oh come on pleeeease? I’ll feed it and walk it and everything!

My bed or yours? 

Did you make it yourself?? Awww thank you Sasori 🥰

It’s not the only thing that’s tight ~ 😏

A real boyfriend wouldn’t question it he’d just bring a shoe and come kill it !

Hey at least I found BOTH arms this time!

Geez that sounds so boring. Can’t he send Kakuzu and Hidan instead?!

You know I hate that word … but yes, forever. And ever and ever and ever. 💛

[fairylightsinthemist]

Please do a Tyson fanfic!! Maybe he has a crush on her and he genuinely can’t believe she has the same feeling! Nobody ever writes for Tyson and I’m craving it!

Thanks for this unique request! I am a Tyson stan first and human second 😤

I’ll see you tomorrow - Tyson x Fem! Reader (pjo)

- - -

Camp Half-Blood was in full swing once again. Another year of absolutely crushing every game and every training is what awaited you as you arrived.

Once you settled in and reconnected with all your friends, you decided on a whim to try something different to do on the first day. You never really made your own weapon by choice; as welding kind of seemed daunting to you. But, it was finally time to try it.

As you walked in, you noticed only one person sitting, focused on the task at hand, mask over his face. He looked super tall, even as he was sitting there. Well, he seemed like he knew what he was doing.

You tapped the shoulder of the guy, and he jumped, nearly destroying his sword. “AHHHH!” He screamed, his protective gear falling off his face. You yelped fell on your bottom from being frightened of his reaction. Then you realized, it was Tyson, Percy’s brother.

You grinned and couldn’t help laughing. Tyson, realizing it was only you, kind of let out a nervous laugh, and went to pick you up. Only, he sort of launched you into his chest due to his major strength, and quickly let you go. “Sorry!” He said clumsily.

Stepping back and taking him in, you smiled. “It’s good to see you again, Tyson. How’s it been going?” You asked, dusting off your pants. “It’s been a fun summer! Mostly in here.” He said, looking a little red and disheveled from all of the chaos that just occurred. You nodded. “Why are you here?” Tyson asked sort of bluntly. Your eyes widened, and then you realized why you came here in the first place: “I wanted to try welding since I never really have done it before.” You said, looking around at all the materials.

Tyson looked so happy to have heard you say that. “Really?! Oh, this will be fun. You know, I’m really good at this because fire doesn’t hurt me. See?” Tyson said, putting his bare hand on the hot metal of the sword.

“Tyson!” You yelled and began frantically waving your hands and eventually grabbing his arm, trying to yank it off. You didn’t see it, due to the panic, but Tyson blushed. He’d never really had a pretty girl care this much about his interest, or touch him for that matter.

He threw his head back and laughed, gently removing your hand. “Immunity, Y/n. I’m okay.” Tyson chuckled. You realized that he was okay as he showed his hand, a little sooty, but unharmed. You sighed and felt your cheeks redden. You felt awkward for having put your hands on him like that. “Sorry, about the- shoving your arm…” You stuttered, flustered. “No, you can put your hands on me anytime, Y/n.” Tyson said, staring blankly at you. You blushed even harder at the delivery of that, but tried you tried your best to shrug it off.

What had you come here for again? It was kind of hard to remember when Tyson was being so funny and sweet. Oh yeah! “So, can you teach me how to do this? Only, I can’t palm hot metal like you can. So I need you.” You asked, looking determined. Tyson nodded. A girl saying she needed him? An excuse to spend more time making swords and with a pretty girl? Perfect. He started gathering up materials and placing them on the next working area beside him.

You weren’t aware, but Tyson had been crushing on you for awhile now. Percy tried to introduce him to you, but Tyson was far too shy. How could a person like you fall for a guy like him? But, he didn’t know this either, but you didn’t care about his past or his looks. Tyson was adorable to you and so respectful.

So, as you two welded away, many moments were shared where hands would touch, eyes would meet, and nice conversations were shared between you two as you learned how to make your own sword.

“You’re a good student.” Tyson announced, gently placing your sword on the table to cool. You smiled, a warm feeling in your heart becoming prominent. “And you’re a good teacher.” You said back, lightly pushing his shoulder. He touched where you pushed him and looked starstruck. “So, same time tomorrow? I wanna do this again, but only if you’re here. No one can top the master!” You said, praying he would say yes.

If you were to have looked in Tyson’s brain at that moment, fireworks were going off. “Uh, yeah.” Tyson said, a big grin on his face. He couldn’t wait to tell Percy about this. You walked off, turning around to smile and wave at Tyson. He waved back, in a daze.

You couldn’t wait until the next day to do it all over again.

- - -

AN: my good lord, I am really sorry if I butchered this. The last time I read the first pjo series was in 2020-2021, so I kind forget how Tyson acted. It’s time to reread the books, I know. I hope this was good and I hope I did Tyson justice. 🩵

[ayashitetsuko]

Izzy had to go on a business trip. He told his spouse Jim about this on their afternoon walks, and Jim was unexpectedly excited: their girlfriend Archie would be in the same city at the same time.

“Please, you two should hang out!”

Izzy didn’t give an answer right away. Sure, not a bad idea. He liked Archie; he approved of her relationship with Jim. Heck, they had had threesomes a few times. But he was still unsure about going out with Archie without Jim.

“Yeah, okay.” But he remained vague with the answer and did not do anything to follow up.

Jim was over the moon. They even offered to arrange the accommodations after the two’s business in the city was done. “Ooooh this is cool, you get to spend the weekend together!” Their group chat was filled with these messages. It was almost as if Jim shipped their girlfriend and husband.

The trip happened. Jim sent both of them to the airport. For the first few days, Archie and Izzy were busy with work matters. They called Jim back home to talk about their day, separately.

It wasn’t until the last day of work that Archie sent this pic to their group chat with the message: “Otw to steal your husband”

“OMG pls do yasssss”

“You two are aware that I’m not a dead object, right?”

“Lol sorry papi x”

“S ok birdie xx otw to pick up the devil now”

“Hey I heard that”

So Izzy went to see Archie. He hugged and kissed her lightly on the lips when they met, but otherwise they acted just like good friends when they went for dinner. Even when they checked in at the hotel, they opted for twin bed. So on the first night, they slept on separate beds. Nothing happened.

Jim was disappointed.

“You shared a room and nothing happened!? Que!? Why? 😢”

“Ah we’re tired, sweetheart. Old bones.”

“Birdie, have you fed Jojo?”

“Jojo is fine! I need you guys to talk!”

“We talked. Unless talk is how you married couples are calling it these days.”

“GAH!”

Archie and Izzy just laughed. They went on to do more touristy things that day. Checking out the biggest bookstore in town (“Birdie, are you sure you don’t want this special edition Star Wars thing?” // “😤”), buying chocolate for people at home (“How many nieces do you actually have at home?” // “Ah, that’s me, I’m my own niece”).

That night, something quite different happened.

Archie and Izzy went for a drink and after a few glasses, and their laughter became unbearable, they found themselves sitting closer to each other—none of them tried to move farther when their skin accidentally brushed. Izzy even moved slightly closer to Archie; he began to speak to her in whispers. At some point, he playfully traced the skin in her upper arm.

Archie knew what this meant. “Wanna go back and make your little spouse’s dream come true?”

Izzy chuckled. He pulled Archie closer when he felt her arms on his shoulders. “I have an idea. Let’s go back now.” The two of them kissed. “We’ll make this fun.”

Later, in the wee hours, as they slept with Jojo by their side, Jim received something on their phone.

It was a video.

It opened with a scene of Archie lying on her stomach. She was obviously naked. “Hey babe. Someone wants to say hi.” Then Izzy appeared on camera, exactly behind Archie. He did nothing but to kiss Archie’s naked shoulder and winked at the camera. “Wish you were here, babe.” Then Archie placed her phone in such a way that it was able to record everything that she and Izzy were doing; all their activities in clear view.

Jim bit their fingers in excitement when they saw their husband pulling Archie’s hair as he fucked her from behind. They squealed happily whenever Archie and Izzy kissed. When the two reached orgasm, Jim screamed so loudly that it kicked Jojo off the bed.

The cat walked away from its owner. He stared back at Jim with a judging, disapproving look.

—

Read my Archie x Izzy x Jim smut here.

[sushisocks]

MORE MACSUMMER I BEG

I GOT YOU ANON!!!! Here's an assortment of MORE silly goofy headcanons about my favorite silly goofy couple <3

These bitches are COMPETITIVE!! Anything can be a race or a bet between them, to the detriment of EVERYONE else. A friendly rivalry over who between them can bring in the most for the camp isn't enough, they're also betting on whether or not Sean'll eat that fisheye Pearson just discarded, or whether Lenny can shotgun a can of soup before Sean counts to 20. A lot of their less-destructive dares are food-consumption-related, yes, how did you know?

They’ve almost broken their legs and arms several times over with the racing, though. They’ve been scruffed by Arthur about just as many times.

Yes, Lenny is a morosexual. Yes, being around Sean debuffs his impulse control. Part of the fun is that they’re always egging eachother on!!

Meanwhile Sean’s type is very much ‘down to earth, smart, with a fun streak’ and Lenny checks all the boxes. He likes the push-and-pull Lenny offers, as someone who’s unafraid to call Sean on his BS while also going along on the more lighthearted stuff.

(Granted, ‘lighthearted’ in this context may or may not include robbery and arson!)

The inside jokes are neverending; Sean can, like, hold up a spoon and waggle his eyebrows and that'll mean something that has Lenny in hysterics.

Sean might not be that inclined towards reading for himself, but he LOVES listening to Lenny's voice, and will often ask Lenny to read aloud. It doesn't matter if it's a news article, a children's story, or the driest factual book on the face of the planet; if Lenny is reading it to him, Sean will remember what he hears up until the moment he starts dozing off. If Lenny quits too early, Sean will wake right back up and demand he continues until he starts dozing again.

They’ve been stuck in that loop for hours before, but the clue is to let Sean fall asleep properly before Lenny can rest his voice - he’s a lot more willing to do this when he realizes it’s one of the only surefire ways for Sean to NOT have a nightmare <3

They are SO “We aren’t joined at the hip!!” *is actually joined at the hip* core, to me. Lenny will be like ‘I can go on this job on my own!😤’ and then come back and beeline towards Sean to tell him how it went. 

You know that one comic that’s like “I gotta pee” “Ok” and then they walk away hand in hand? Literally. They don’t even realize this is what they’re like!

They’re VERY good at keeping arguments or fights private; the gang only notices because those are the only times they’re not constantly around each other, beyond camp/gang duties. The fights never last long, and are never that serious - they're usually good and back to normal within a day or so.

Their most public fights are the ones they have when they’re drunk, and they only really consist of them fussing over each other. “Did you have any water, Len? I’ll grab you some water.” “Are you cold, Sean? Here, take this blanket” <- They’re both slurring, wobbling, and can’t see straight. The second one of them stands, the other is yelling at them to sit down bcz they’ll break a leg after two steps, so nothing actually gets done or fetched, unless it’s within arms reach (and that's usually more liquor). It’s a whole thing; they’re both of the mind that ‘No! You shouldn’t take care of me, you’re drunk, I’m taking care of YOU!’ and SURPRISE it’s like another competition where they can't let the other win. See Lenny grabbing Sean by the ankle while Sean's trying to drag himself towards the water canteen, and now they're yelling and wrestling in the dirt over it. It’s stupid but entertaining for anyone witnessing them, if nothing else <3

Sean has a tendency to get lost, and Lenny is usually the one who ends up looking for/finding him. Sometimes it’s not even that Sean is lost, just distracted, and Lenny will join him in whatever misadventure he’s found himself on. Other times that distraction means Lenny finding him in like a field 30 minutes from camp, and promptly laughing his ass off bcz Sean is high in a tree after pissing off a bull or smth.