#I’m happy with the textures I’ve been using at the moment

[ghoul--doodle]

I need to do something with my art style EUGSHJFK

[dirtysvthoughts]

strawberry icing on your lips 🍓 - svthub valentine’s day collab

tags/warnings: fluff for the first half, smut for the second half, a bit of pwp, boyfriend! shua, female! reader, baking at home, lots of kissing, fingering, nana tour inspired, shua’s kinda a flirt in this one heh

word count: 1.45k

notes: hey besties! happy love day and i’m beyond excited to share my first svthub collab work! this valentine’s day collab was hosted by the amazing @wongyuseokie thank you supporting us! 🥰 please check out the other author’s works as well! :) this is my next biggest work for shua after private dancer, so i hope you all enjoy! to my lovely valentine @gyuhanniescarat i hope you enjoy reading and i love you have a safe and beautiful valentine’s day & carat day! 🥰

“okay, flour, eggs, milk.. what else are missing?” you ask observing the ingredients in front of you, moving them around to make sure nothing was hidden.

“are the strawberries on the table? oh man, we almost forgot the butter too!” your boyfriend remembers walking to the fridge, reaching for the said items.

you and your boyfriend joshua have been together for three years and the two valentine’s days you’ve spent together have been nothing short of wonderful. for the past two years, you’ve gone out on valentine’s day, but after he came back from a recent europe trip, both of you decided to stay at home this year. you wanted to give him some time to relax and get readjusted to being back at home.

in recounting his europe adventures, he told the story of the time he took a cooking class in rome. he made four different pastas from scratch, all with delicious sauces and wine pairings. hearing joshua tell you of his experience with the excitement and joy made your heart swell, which led you to an idea.

“hey josh, instead of going out this year, why don’t we make our own dinner at home? it sounds like a lot of fun from what you just told me. ooh! we could even bake something too! i’ve been looking at a ton of new recipes lately!”

your boyfriend sweetly laughs at your enthusiasm and kisses your forehead, “let’s do it then! we’ll have a nice candlelit dinner at home this year.”

back in the present, you two have finally gathered all the ingredients to get started with your dessert course - vanilla cookies with a strawberry cream icing. since dinner wouldn’t take as long to make, you decided to get the dessert portion out of the way first.

“hmm let’s see, i’ll work on the flour mixture first, do you wanna work on the icing?” you ask joshua, setting the stainless steel bowls out on the counter. “sure! can you pass me the heavy cream and sugar?”

soon, a comfortable silence surrounds the kitchen, the two of you working side by side, mixing and whisking ingredients together. there is one moment where you accidentally reach for the butter at the same time, gently laughing together as joshua rubs your hand, admiring your soft, delicate skin. you can’t help but blush at the feeling of his hand on top of yours.

more time passes and now, you’re working on molding the shape of the cookies together. joshua is just about done with the icing as well, testing the ribbons of cream as it drips off the whisk and back into the bowl.

“babe,” he turns his head toward you, still focused on flattening what is now your sixth cookie. you hum in response, not looking up just yet. “can you taste the icing for me? i think it’s done, but it might be missing something.”

you finish molding your cookie and quickly grab a spoon from your utensil drawer. you scoop a small bit of icing on the edge of the spoon, nearly melting at the sweet taste and smooth texture of the icing dancing across your mouth.

“josh, this tastes so good!” you exclaim happily, scraping a bigger spoonful this time, giddy as ever as you put the spoon to your mouth again, loving how everything combined to make such a delicious icing. “you did amazing baby! it has the right of amount of sweetness and everything!”

this time, joshua can’t help but blush at your continuous flow of praise, but he also couldn’t help but get hot from watching you taste the icing - your cute lips pressing together and the humming you made the second time you taste tested was not helping the rush of blood that went down to his body.

joshua quickly notices that you have a little speck of icing left on your lips, quickly seizing it as an opportunity to give into temptation and get his hands on you.

“hey baby, you have a little something right-“ he drags out the last word as he holds your jaw with his right thumb gently, his soft, gentle lips meeting yours. the kiss takes you by surprise, but you quickly melt into your boyfriend’s touch as you tilt your head to give him more access inside of you. the two of you establish a rhythm for a few moments until you pull away first, slightly breathless and a pleasant, heavenly daze taking over your body.

“there,” joshua finishes, chuckling as he holds you by your waist, lifting you up so you can sit on the edge of the counter. he swipes his left thumb across your lips and licks his own while you watch, the motion sending arousal down your spine.

he doesn’t hesitate to kiss your neck soon after, quietly moaning as his lips nibbled on your body’s sensitive spots. you push your bowl full of cookie dough to the side as joshua’s hands come underneath your tank top, roaming your soft skin.

with ease, he takes off the piece of clothing, lips moving from your neck to the center of your chest. this time joshua becomes bolder, letting his tongue get some action as he licks and sucks on the space between your breasts.

“sh-shua.. shua, o-ohhh,” you moan out louder this time, wanting him to hear how good he’s making you feel. you’re so caught up in the pleasure that he was giving your chest that you don’t even notice his fingertips walking along your thighs, then underneath your skirt - and eventually to your panty line.

before you can even say anything, joshua’s fingers pull the waistband back and let it go, snapping against your waist. you gals and bite your lip in pleasure as your body goes slightly forward and joshua smirks in return. his fingers continue to tease at your panties, the pink lace nearly making him form heart eyes in front of you.

“you’re so pretty for me,” he breathes out, dragging your panties to the side with two fingers. “always, so, so pretty,” he repeats as he slowly inserts another two fingers inside of your core, chuckling at how wet you already are.

“coating my fingers and i haven’t even started with you yet,” he scoffs. “just a needy little girl, aren’t you?”

“only for you,” you whine back with doe eyes. “only you make me this wet.”

“good to know,” he smiles as he starts pushing his fingers in and out at a steady pace, your whines becoming more breathy and high pitched. “mmmm, more, shua - please, more…” you request, eyes starting to glisten like diamonds.

“i’ve thought about this before.. taking you down in the kitchen, especially while i was away taking those cooking classes.. just even imagining you pressing up against me while prepping the ingredients was enough to get me hard,” joshua confesses. “seeing you get so excited over the icing, i couldn’t help my myself baby,” he softly smiles as he holds you by your chin again and kisses you, this time, his fingers making a circular motion inside of you.

whatever noises you release now are deep inside of his mouth, craving for more of him as you entwine your tongue with his once again. you feel the pressure in your body start to build, knowing that you were going to come soon.

joshua then begins a scissoring motion in your pussy, the highest pitched noises you didn’t even know you could make were pouring out of your mouth like a river. you were practically panting joshua’s name out now, begging for him to make you come, promising you will come like a good girl.

after one particularly good thrust, you release all over his fingers, coating them in your deliciousness. you pant into his chest, leaning forward as you take in his scent again, trying to regain your breath, but not wanting to come down from the amazing high.

“i don’t know what tastes better, you or the icing,” joshua teases when you sit up, looking into his eyes.

“you flatter me,” you playfully roll your eyes as you hold his hand, turning around to take a look at the clock. “well, we still have some time left before we actually start cooking the main course.. did you wanna-“

before you can even finish your sentence, he hoists you up again, and laugh, legs immediately wrapping around his waist as he walks you to the bedroom.

“i haven’t even done half the things i wanted to do with you yet this valentine’s day.. c’mon my pretty girl,” joshua swoons, moving your hair from your eyes. “dinner can wait just a bit longer.”

[otomehoneyybearr]

Kagari Amagase

Things I can Only Do With You at Night: Ch1 | Ch2 | Ch3 | Ch4 | Card

Emma: "The sakura manju is delicious! It's so cute and round that I find myself admiring it for a while before taking a bite."

Emma: "Prince Kagari, would you like one too?"

Kagari: "Sure."

After watching over the shopkeeper’s belongings, Prince Kagari really did go around the festival with me.

It’s so much more fun—no, infinitely more fun—with someone else, and I could feel my spirits lifting compared to when I wandered alone.

(Prince Kagari is…)

(Hmm… I can’t tell anything from his expression.)

I stopped in front of a stall that caught my eye.

Emma: "Prince Kagari, look, there’s a ring toss game!"

Kagari: "Yeah, I can see that."

(The prizes vary depending on the score you get.)

(Oh, that little basket bag at the top is so lovely! But it looks like you need to get the highest score to win it.)

Kagari: "…"

(Maybe I should give it a try. It could make for a nice festival memory!)

Emma: "Prince Kagari, do you want to try the ring toss too?"

Kagari: "Sure."

(Ugh… I didn’t land a single ring. They were softer than I expected and kept flying off in weird directions.)

The prize I chose with my score was a bottle of colorful konpeito (sugar stars). Its cuteness made me forget my disappointment entirely.

(Still, Prince Kagari casually scored the highest. I should’ve asked him for tips.)

Kagari: "Here, take this Princess."

He handed me the lace basket bag I had been eyeing.

Emma: "Is it really okay…?"

Kagari: "I wouldn’t use it if I kept it."

Kagari: "From the looks of it, it’s well-crafted by a top-tier workshop. It’s sturdy and will last a long time."

Emma: "Then, I’ll accept it… Thank you."

The bag was well-made, with a smooth and pleasant texture. A small sakura charm dangled gently from the handle.

●●●●●● Flashback ●●●●●●

Kagari: "You’re easy to read. That’s something I’ve learned about you."

●●●●●● Flashback End ●●●●●●

(I must’ve let my feelings show again.)

(There were plenty of other prizes he could’ve picked. Maybe he chose this on a whim, but… I’m so happy.)

Emma: "Ah…"

Suddenly, Prince Kagari grabbed my hand and took a bite of my strawberry candy.

Watching him lick his lower lip up close sent my heart racing.

Emma: "Please, just tell me if you want some!"

Kagari: "If I told you, I wouldn’t get to see your reaction."

(He means when I get flustered, doesn’t he?)

(It feels like he’s made this a kind of game… but still…)

When I stole a glance at Prince Kagari, his expression remained unreadable, though the corners of his eyes had softened just a bit.

(Well, if he’s enjoying himself too, then I suppose it’s fine.)

Trying to hide my own smile, I took a bite of the strawberry candy as well.

(Maybe I’ll switch out my current pochette for the basket bag.)

(Oh, wait…)

Kagari:  "What’s wrong Princess?"

Emma: "Prince Kagari, do you have a moment later?"

....

Emma: "Would you like to light some sparklers with me?"

After finishing with the stalls and returning from the bustling streets to the castle, I opened the wooden box I had taken out of my bag.

Emma: "Someone gave me these sparklers while I was helping with festival preparations."

Emma: " I was saving them for the festival day, and I’d really like it if you’d join me. If you’d like…"

Kagari: "…"

Emma: "Prince Kagari?"

Kagari: "It’s nothing."

Kagari: "I just thought it was a little childish to suddenly want fire."

Emma: "Would you like a sparkler?"

Kagari: "Sure."

(He agreed! That’s a relief.)

Something about the slight widening of his green eyes caught my attention, but I handed him a sparkler nonetheless.

For some reason, Prince Kagari stared at it for a while before finally taking it.

With anticipation in my chest, I brought the sparkler close to the candle flame he had lit for me.

A small orb of fire blossomed like a flower bud, scattering orange sparks with a gentle crackle.

(It’s so beautiful…)

It didn’t have the grandeur of fireworks in the sky, but the way the sparks changed shape over time was ephemeral and captivating—enough to make me forget to blink.

(Wow, the sparks are growing even brighter and stronger now.)

Kagari: "…."

Emma: "Prince Kagari, your sparkler is beautiful too."

Kagari: "…Yeah, it’s mesmerizing."

(But his gaze hasn’t left me this whole time…)

(Maybe he prefers how my sparkler burns?)

(Ah, the sparks are starting to fade.)

As the end neared, the number of falling sparks lessened, and the glowing orb quietly dropped away.

Prince Kagari’s sparkler also went out, and the quiet that followed felt tinged with a certain melancholy.

(Perhaps I feel this way because the festival is truly coming to an end.)

Emma: "…I’ve found one more thing I love in Kogyoku.”

Kagari: "You have a low threshold for liking things, don’t you?"

Kagari: "When you leave Kogyoku, tell me how many things you’ve come to like."

Emma: "You’ll be surprised! Please look forward to it."

Emma: "Prince Kagari, thank you for accompanying me to the festival and lighting sparklers with me."

Kagari: "I just had the time."

Emma: "Even so, I’m happy that you spent that time with me."

When I look back on today, the fun memories come rushing back one after another.

I got to interact with many people from the town while helping prepare for the festival.

(Surely, the next time I see them, I’ll be able to greet them more casually. But…)

I suddenly found myself imagining the day I’d eventually have to leave Kogyoku.

The pang of sadness that welled up was even stronger than what I’d felt when the sparklers had burned out, and my gaze unconsciously turned to Prince Kagari.

(Prince Kagari is…)

(…He’ll probably be the same as ever.)

……

The next day, I went to a sweets shop to buy some dorayaki-flavored candies.

There, I heard a startling story from the boy who had given me the sparklers.

Boy: "They say, if you do sparklers with someone you care about, just the two of you with no interruptions, you’ll be bound together."

Boy: "That’s what I wanted to tell you that day!"

Emma: "I see…"

Emma: "Is that a legend everyone in Kogyoku knows?"

Boy: "Yep. If anything, it’s rare for someone not to know it."

Emma: ".....Is that so."

(If he’d just said doing sparklers at the festival brings good fortune, it would’ve been better but…)

As I forced myself to suppress the dizziness creeping up on me, my cheeks grew hot at the thought of Prince Kagari.

(Does Prince Kagari know this legend too? …No, he probably doesn’t remember things he’s not interested in.)

(And he isn’t someone I care for in THAT way, so there’s no reason to be flustered…)

●●●●●● Flashback ●●●●●●

Kagari: "…"

Emma: "Prince Kagari?"

Kagari: "It’s nothing."

●●●●●● Flashback End●●●●●●

(…Could he have misunderstood something? No, there’s no way…)

(......…)

(How should I react the next time I meet Prince Kagari…?)

…….

Shigure: "Hey, Kagari, why’d you have Emma help with the festival preparations?"

After the regular meeting, Shigure's question stopped Kagari in his tracks.

Kagari: "…It was a whim."

Kagari: "If I had to give a reason, it’s because I thought she’d find it easier to spend time here if she got to know a few more faces in this unfamiliar country."

Shigure: "Wow, that’s…kind of thoughtful."

Kagari: "Besides, if people recognize her as someone I know, they'll keep an eye on her out of curiosity."

Shigure: "Wow, that’s…heartless."

Kagari: "You didn’t know that about me?"

Shigure: "I did, actually. Well, having the townsfolk keep an eye out could be useful if something happens, so I see where you’re coming from."

Shigure: "And what about the festival day itself? After dealing with that enemy, you disappeared somewhere."

Kagari: "I went around the festival stalls with her and did sparklers."

Shigure: "Anyone else there? …Just the two of you?"

Kagari: "Just the two of us."

Shigure: "Ah, I see. I see."

Kagari: "…? What’s with that creepy look on your face?"

Shigure: "Wait, do you not know about the sparklers legend, Kagari?"

Kagari: "I don’t."

Kagari: "That was my first time even holding sparklers."

Shigure: "Ah, I see. Well then…"

Kagari: "Honestly, I couldn’t understand what was so enjoyable about it that she’d light up like that…"

Unconsciously, Kagari's jade-green eyes wandered toward the spot where he and Emma had lit sparklers the previous night.

Kagari: "…But I got to see something good."

Kagari: "I wouldn���t mind doing it again…with her."

Prev | Next

▼・ᴥ・▼

[savviathan]

Gem pushes a couch into the lobby of Decked Out, directly in front of the door.

She sits down, soul lantern in hand, and coughs expectantly. She waits a moment. She coughs louder.

It feels like the stone around her sighs outwards with an edge of Tango’s rasp in its voice, and the door to Decked Out opens on its own accord.

“So, do you want to start, or should I?”

The stone constrict again beside her, tensing up like pursing its lips. It looks around, blue light burning brighter on the snow layers, then in the egg hunt room, and then settles again down by the stairs. The pistons beneath the floor hiss, and Gem feels something like the cold burn of ice touching skin.

“Then I will start.” She smiles, holding her head up high.

Somewhere, the stone cracks. Her lantern flickers frantically, flames dancing around and almost dying. Gem only shakes her head.

“I’m not very happy with you, you know.” She starts, putting her free hand on her hip. “But I’m going to be cordial. For your sake. This is a therapy session.”

Decked Out’s doors whine.

“One of many if you keep this up.”

Everything seems to still. Then, Decked Out slowly, painfully, releases the pressure in the room. Suddenly, a card is pulled from the deck:

STUMBLE

Gem laughs, hard.

As much of a hard ass Decked Out can be, it still holds Tango’s breath, and his eyes, and his heart, and his sense of humor. It still carries its creator’s vision. That sort of thing is easy to forget sometimes, between all of the ‘killing you’ thing. Speaking of that. Gem settles further into the couch.

“So. As you know, I’ve been running a lot recently. I’m on a quest to get good.” She pointedly ignores Decked Out’s snickering in Tango’s voice. “And I would like to run deeper, but I just can’t seem to find any keys. What gives? Why are you so angry with me?”

At that, Gem gets a startlingly bigger reaction than she had anticipated. It feels like there’s someone sitting on her chest, and the walls close in, and then back out, and the lanterns flicker, and the shop shuffles its contents, and, and—

“Okay, hang on!” She yells, and Decked Out freezes. Literally; she can see her breath coming out in puffs, now. “Well, that’s a lot to unpack.”

Decked Out begins again slowly, reshuffling the shop contents back to where they used to be. Cards pop up and down, and a shard reappears, and Tango’s weird dungeon lackey hood stays just where it is in the corner.

“Is it tango?” She asks tentatively. Decked out laughs back at her incredulously with Tango’s voice.

“Is it me?” And beyond the opened doors, decked out whistles. “What did I do?”

Decked out quiets.

“Nothing. Okay, I’m not following.”

Decked out’s doors groan. It seems to fiddle with the latches quietly, thinking, gears and redstone turning in its head, then clicks rapidly. The doors shut in Gem’s face.

“Hey, just because it’s hard to explain yourself in a language that—“

“Take your items or I’ll feed them to the ravagers.” It interrupts her, loudly, and the lanterns flicker by the stairs. The freezing temperatures leave the room.

“Oh.” Gem says, standing up and following it around the corner. Though, she supposes, following is probably the wrong word. It’s more like, lets it guide her to where it wants her to be. Or something. She’s not a master with communication of card games, she’s good with staggering textures in the walls, and driving a sword into Etho’s chest.

Decked Out clicks the redstone beneath her feet. She stops. It’s led her out to the front of the Deepfrost Citadel, next to Scar’s impromptu line, in the middle of the night and the freezing chill. She stares up at the imposing walls and spikes.

“What exactly am I looking for here, buddy.”

The wind whistles around her. Decked out is utterly silent, out here, unable to talk and seek in a way that matters. It knows this. Down below, mobs walk around in the snow, zombies, skeletons, Gem recalls when hoards of phantoms swooped in from the tops of the towers and attacked the few that were talking outside. It would be nice if someone could take care of that, really, and spawn proofed the area. But Tango couldn’t do that all on his own, could he?

Oh. Wait.

Gem stares back down at the spot Decked Out has taken her to, to the outsides where it cannot touch, where other creatures brush past its domain, unwanted. Gem thinks of treasure drops around the dungeon, and finding no keys, and Etho’s chuckles as he makes sure to compliment her before he runs. She thinks of getting past the gauntlet seven times over, and the comments about her appointed title, Geminislay, that tango gave her, and Decked Out has surely known.

Inside, Decked Out’s flames brighten, welcoming her back inside but never past level one.

“You don’t want me to have keys because you want me out here, don’t you?”

And the air around her, whistles, sings. The lantern she’s still holding, the one she’d brought for the therapy session, dances around in the air as it whips past. Gem sighs.

“Come with me.”

She steps inside, and feels the flames brighten as she passes, and the stone press outwards as to give her more room, and the room goes cold again as she makes it to the top of the stairs. She sits back down on the couch in the lobby, closes her eyes, and releases a breath.

“It’s my turn again.” She begins, and Decked Out is quiet.

“I recognize your feelings. I understand what you mean. I want you to know that, firstly.” She pauses for a moment. “But I am not Tango. I am not a fool.”

Decked Out laughs, again, boisterous and knowing.

“But I know that if I want to play, this relationship must go two ways, healthily. And I definitely want to play.” Decked Out hums at that, a droning sound, but it does not move. Just thinks.

“So I will protect you, where you cannot. I will be your gargoyle.” She giggles.

The citadel is a castle, after all.

“But I would like some keys. And I would like them fairly, nothing extra.” She pauses. “And also, it would be really funny if you messed with Impulse. Make him get a little tilted.”

The flames brighten. The walls seem to thrum with excitement, and a smile.

“So we’ve come to an agreement?” Gem stands and sticks her hand out.

Decked Out rushes cold hair to her fingertips. Gem smiles brightly.

“Then Geminislay joins the dungeon!”

Decked Out’s door nearly breaks itself trying to fly open.

And somewhere deep below, in Decked Out’s redstone guts, the dungeon master shakes his head fondly.

…

[Author’s Note:] I want to also give huge credit to @slashmagpie, whose amazing idea it was that Gem was the gargoyle of Decked Out. He also let me borrow this silly concept of a fic idea from him and write it. Thanks magpie!!

[cieloclercs]

what would you say (if i told you i love you)? — charles leclerc

PART: 4/? (read part 3 here)

summary. in which childhood best friends blur the lines between what they’ve always known, and something more

warnings. pure angst lmao, charles is an idiot with a capital I, swearing, basically everyone hates charles, the leclercs (minus charles) and joris being iconic + your unnamed bestie, i used pictures from france 2022 so sorry about that 🫠

pairings. charles leclerc x artsy!reader

face claim. tara michelle

author’s note. alex is in one of the pictures as a face claim for a different character but absolutely no hate is intended to her at all !! sorry for the angst in this one 😭 but i promise it won’t stay like that for much longer! <33

liked by yourfriend and 27,836 others

y/nsart experimenting with new textures and media! super happy with the outcome 🖤

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yourfriend incredible 😍

*y/nsart liked this comment

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*y/nsart liked this comment

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liked by formulaupdates and 9,736 others

f1wags Charles Leclerc arrived in the Monza paddock today with Italian model Bianca Santoro. Sources suggest they looked pretty cosy 👀

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username y/n’s rep era (painter edition) loading…

liked by leclerc_pascale and 104,357 others

y/nsart the heart was made to be broken

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username oh.

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leclerc_pascale ❤️

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*y/nsart liked this comment

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username she’s not even denying it anymore…

username i’m going to pray every day from now that charles comes to his senses and tells her how he feels 🙏🙏

username can i join you

username and me

username our delusional asses need to stick together rn 😔🙏

username on a slightly less sad note THE AMOUNT OF LIKES THIS HAS GOT OMG.

username as it should! y/n’s talent needs to be more widely recognised 😌

username @charles_leclerc you’re breaking all our hearts here

liked by f1wags and 15,736 others

formula1updates Charles Leclerc after his DNF in Monza 💔

view all comments…

username karma.

username honestly it serves him right

username we manifesting it guys !!

username i want to be sad because that’s his championship hopes completely out of the window but he genuinely deserves it after the way he’s treated y/n…

username you mess with y/n you mess WITH GOD BITCH

username lmao it’s so funny that he brings his little girlfriend with him and then crashes out 3 laps in 😭

username he KNOWS he deserves it as well

comments on this post have been limited.

yourfriend

yourusername toujours mon amour 🩷 arthur_leclerc take care of her please ↳ yourfriend what do you think i’m doing? 🙄 joris_trouche can’t believe i wasn’t invited 😔 ↳ yourfriend do you understand the meaning of a ‘girl’s trip’? charles_leclerc please can you ask her to answer my texts? ↳ yourfriend why should i? you’ve already hurt her enough.

three weeks later…

liked by charles_leclerc and 26,836 others

tagged: yourfriend

yourusername healing 🌊🤍🌙

view all comments…

yourfriend la plus belle fille 💕/ the most beautiful girl

yourusername je t’aime <3

leclerc_pascale Reviens vite à la maison, mon ange 🤍 / come home soon, angel

yourusername tu me manques, maman 🥹

username the strongest person i know 🩵

*yourusername liked this comment

arthur_leclerc i never thought i’d say these words but i miss you ☹️

yourusername awww arth 🥹🥹 i miss you too x

joris_trouche still sad i wasn’t invited on the girl’s trip :’((

yourfriend tais toi, stupide 🙄 / shut up, stupid

yourusername 😭😭

joris_trouche rude 🙁

username guys are we all seeing the same thing right now or am i hallucinating 😳

username charles liked??

username OMG IM NOT HALLUCINATING

username CODE RED 🚨🚨🚨‼️‼️‼️ CHARLES LIKED EVERYBODY STAY CALM

username not charles trying to crawl his way back bitch please 😭

username @/yourusername tell him to go fuck himself x

username HAHSHAH STOP

username nah i’m calling it he’s definitely been lurking around her and y/f/n’s stories for weeks trying to figure out how to win her back 🤞🤞🤞

username girl you’re delulu if you think y/n’s gonna take him back that easily 🙄

username y’all just ignoring the fact that he still has a whole ass girlfriend 😭😭

username let me be delulu in peace please and thanks. 😐

username this is the mediterranean girl summer i want 😍

username how to be y/n y/l/n

username babe this isn’t google

username this bianca girl has NOTHING on y/n

username fr she’s literally a goddess 😫

username if charles doesn’t want her i’ll gladly take her 🤭

username two pretty best friends 🤩

username the growth 🤍 @/yourusername i’m manifesting love and happiness for you girl !! no one deserves it more 😘

yourusername thank you my love 🥹🥹

username charles get tf out of here 😂

username lmaooo he’s ruining the hot girl summer vibe

➜ part 5

tagged: @incoherenciass

[toxintouch]

Cooking headcannons for touchstarved Li’s when? 👀

Apparently now, anon! Some Cooking/Baking/General Meal Time headcanons. Sorry as always that I am so late, lol. I got distracted by Halloween/October things. ✦✦✦✦✦

Vere: ✦ Canonically, he’s bad at it. But W H Y?? ✦ When I thought about why Vere might be a bad cook I decided he is likely the kind to get distracted, try to make everything at once, get bored with the instructions, etc. It's not the kind of food he craves, so cooking is very low-stakes to him. ✦ I’m trying to decide if I think his sense of taste is remarkably different from a human. Since his nose is impeccable, he SHOULD be able to determine if something is going to be good or not… ✦ Perhaps the real issue standing in his way is: Human food does not satiate him.

✦ Though he does have human foods he likes to eat. He's a texture person.  Loves a delicate texture, easy to slice through with his fangs.  Something supple. ✦ When he gets the cooking urge, he cooks a ton of food at once. Absolutely no intention of eating most of it. ✦ MC: “Who is going to eat this?”   Vere: “I’ve been fairly blatant about my interest in doing so, but you are willfully obtuse.” ✦ If you'll allow me to quote myself:

"Vere cooks how others might enjoy a leisurely stroll. 

Which is to say: he seems to be having fun, but you’re not convinced he intends on really going anywhere." The journey is often the destination. ✦ You ask him to cook or bake with you?: (If he likes you:) "I suppose. If you think you have the stamina." If he doesn't like you it's still a yes but you're the meal. ✦ If you're helping him cook, BE CAREFUL WITH THE KNIFE!  If you nick yourself and draw blood...you might get more than you bargained for...

Leander: ✦ The fandom has spoken. This man can't cook. He's just...too innovative.~ He could follow a recipe. He won't...but he could. ✦ You ask him to cook or bake with you?: He actually sounds awkward for a moment. “Ooohh, uh... you want to cook together?”  But he bounces back quickly.  “Of course we can do that! Sounds like fun. I’m sure our favorite barkeep won’t mind, we can use the kitchen here!”  (She minds.  She looks in on the two of you frequently to make sure you’re not going to burn the Wick down.) ✦ If you know your way around the kitchen already, he's happy to take a backseat. :) He measures out ingredients and has them all neatly ready for you. ✦ If you make him take the lead: Is that sweat sliding down the back of his neck? And his face is awfully red. "Ah, actually, I just thought of a better idea." How about the two of you rely on the expertise of your favorite cooks/bakers from around town for this one? Really immerse yourselves for a day (er, a few hours), learn from a professional. Who would you like to teach you? He can pull some strings and make it happen! :) :) :) ✦ ~Magical meal prep.~ He slices and dices with spell work. Like it's a party trick and not a potentially grisly weapon. Don't think too hard on the other potential applications of that spell, okay? :) ✦ Everything can be improved with cheese! (AKA: He puts cheese on top of everything.) ✦ He's unlikely to share this part of himself of his own accord, but... Naturally, he still knows all of his high society dining etiquette.  He can tell you all about place settings and the correct formal silverware order and how to tell which fork is the dessert fork, etc. Hopefully you'll never be put in a situation where that's knowledge that you need. He really doesn't want to subject you to that kind of person, if he can help it. Those people are closer to the Senobium and most would do anything for a favor. Best to stick to places where it's more safe. Right here next to him is free. ✦ He has a brilliant mind for what wines go with what foods. One of the few drink recommendations you can trust him on. "Of course, these are all just suggestions. What matters is that you're drinking what you like, right?" (<- He's trying to sell you on his new mixolology concoction. Do not trust.) ✦ Could hold a formal tea for you but you will really have to wheedle it out of him. And he'll only say yes if you agree that it stays between the two of you. "You have to pinky promise." ;) and it only counts if it's bare skin. ✦ That said, he's at his most comfortable when he's in some little hole-in-the-wall, enjoying great local food that someone else made. ✦ Extremely interested in any dishes you enjoy that are local to your home/culturally significant to you. Will hunt someone down who can make them for you if you're feeling homesick. (Or will find the ingredients if you prefer to make it yourself.) He's a good guy like that. :)

Kuras: ✦ He tries to make the recipe but he just makes things worse. Like many things in his long life. ✦ He's worse than Vere. A lot worse. 'Possibly the worst cook in the entire city' type worse. ✦ Cooking is just so outside of his realm of existence. ✦ It doesn't help that Everything tastes like p u r e n o t h i n g to him. It's not just that he doesn't need to eat, the very sensation of taste is beyond him. ✦ But he occasionally likes to try to make food for his friends and loved ones. He understands that food sharing is an important human social behavior and he'd like to participate how he can and show that he values his bonds with the people he chooses. ✦ He is uniquely awful at it though. Time has made very little improvement. ✦ Ever since that Valentine's Day cake, baking is his ✨passion.✨ Mhin had a good reaction, so he's decided not to give; he made such an obvious breakthrough with that one. ✦ You ask him to cook or bake with you?: He accepts immediately. He's overjoyed. "I'm sure this will be an enlightening experience. I confess myself as rather lacking when it comes to this activity so please consider me your humble student. Anything you wish to teach me would be appreciated." ✦ Of course, the two of you will have to work around the clinic's schedule. (You ought to realize quickly that he does not have a good gauge of time when it comes to meals. Take the initiative or starve tbh.) ✦ He is very attentive to everything you say.  His earnest face while listening to you is unbearably adorable.  Frequently tilts his head like a cat. ✦ He hangs off your every word and even asks questions.  Though, some of the questions you don’t quite know how to answer.  (“When you chew, do you instinctively know how many times is appropriate, or must you count?”  “....I…what?”) ✦ You think that particular question might be a joke... Hard to say. ✦ Even when you are running the show and watching him to make sure he does everything right…every time something somehow ends up going wrong. ✦ Pro tip: don't let him put anything into the oven or determine the cooking/baking times. Otherwise, things will get...strange. ✦ You are the test subject–I mean: taste tester.  Kuras insists that your opinion is of the utmost importance.  Are you brave enough?  If not, are you tough enough to politely decline when his eyes are sparkling softly with affection and excitement like that??

Think of it this way:

If you get sick (which you will) you’re already at the doctor’s!  ✨Convenient!✨ ✦ Comfortable silence in the kitchen when they two of you are working together. <3 ...As soon as you accept that nothing will be edible. Actually, maybe you should stop this. This is probably more food waste than a post-apocalyptic world can afford.

Ais: ✦ Of course he knows how. ✦ Well.  Maybe not him specifically. But give him a moment, he’s pretty sure he’s got the equivalent of a Michelin 3 Star chef (or two, but who’s counting?) “in here somewhere.”  (He taps on his temple.) ✦ He doesn't have an interest in human food. "You want recommendations try asking Pretty Boy." ✦ He does like to experiment with making treats for his Soulless.  He’s bought them snacks from the market on occasion, but he likes the feeling of taking care of them and providing for them contributing with his own hands.  Plus, he can make them treats that are a lot less grain heavy.  They prefer meat.

✦ (Most aren't stupid enough to try and poison the treats he buys, but he did kill someone for trying once. Not that the shit they put inside was strong enough. He ate the stupid biscuit right in front of them just to prove a point. Last thing they ever saw.) ✦ If the Sea Spring has a kitchen…look, he hasn't been in there in a while. There might be mold.  There is almost certainly mold. ✦ Luckily, Kuras has a kitchen!  And he doesn’t seem to use it, so it’s basically free real estate.  If Ais is ever in need of somewhere to cook or bake, he’ll be using Kuras’ space. ✦ He can do meat preparation really well (he’s an absolute butcher with anything sharp) and smoke meat really well but spending an overabundance of his time preparing meals (meals that aren't even the preferred sustenance of Monsters like him) feels like a poor use of his life. He's got shit to do. ✦ You ask him to cook or bake with you?: "Huh... Nah. Don't think I will..." <- neutral bastard “Or what?” <- He feels like riling you up a little extra today. ✦ (You're more likely to get that experience if you catch him doing it of his own accord and join in/keeping him company in the clinic while he works.)

Mhin: ✦ Diametrically opposed to Leander (and Vere), they will follow the recipe exactly whenever possible. ✦ The only one you can trust to make something edible without fail. ✦ Mhin is an alchemist.  Cooking and baking are both easy for them.  None of these components are even going to explode or create poisonous gas if mixed.  The worst thing that will happen is that they’ll eat a meal they aren’t completely satisfied with.  (And honestly, what else is new these days?) ✦ They are impressively quick and precise in the kitchen!  They can cut things so fast! Can also cut fruit into animal shapes for reasons that they will not explain. ✦ When they cook, they are making meals to feed themself.  It’s a necessity that they are performing to keep themself able to tolerate their strenuous life. At the same time, it relaxes them to an extent–it grounds them, it’s something concrete to focus on that isn’t … –but it’s a necessity first and foremost. ✦ Mhin’s cooking has a tendency to be b l a n d.  They are filled with too much self-loathing to season more interested in the nutritional value of the meal than its flavor.  Plus, spices are costly and they aren’t about to spend any of their hard earned money on the luxury of taste. ✦ Mhin’s baking is significantly more inspired than their cooking.  If they have the good fortune and the wherewithal to bake themself a little treat, they have a good intuition for (delicate, sweet) flavors.  They never get the opportunity, but.  The ability is there. ✦ In another life (an easier life) baking could have been a hobby. ✦ You ask them to cook or bake with you?: "..." Mhin isn’t the type to teach someone, but… If you're any good, you could be a useful second pair of hands. If you're hopeless...they should really leave you to your own devices, but… someone needs to tell you to stop holding a knife like that. It's annoying to look at. It will just take them a few seconds to correct you. And then you're on your own! (They still stay. They were using Kuras' kitchen first.) ✦ Will scold you for holding the knife wrong.  Tries to explain the correct way–which is to say, the safest way–to handle it but...  They’re not used to having to verbalize their thoughts/instructions to people, since they are always alone. ✦ So they'll finally just settle in behind you and show you how to position your hands and cut away from yourself. ✦ Backs off ASAP because being able to feel your body heat and being so close to you flusters them.  (Not to mention whatever is happening with your hands.) They go off into their own little corner to meal prep extra because they want to be prepared–definitely not so that they can look away from you and focus on something else for a while. ✦ Mhin can tell you about the chemical reaction that makes bread rise.  Mhin can tell you why and how each ingredient is important, which ones you can skip and substitute if supplies in this post Fogfall world are running low.  Mhin can tell you that you are not doing that right, what are you doing?  Stop.  That is way too much vanilla extract. ✦ If you ever reach their maximum affection level: Their face looks like it is absolutely on fire when they offer to share their favorite dessert this dessert they’ve really been craving with you.  They’ll even teach you how to make it, and you two could make it together if you'd like...

[officialcharactersimp]

Playdate

(Graduation Gift Part 6)

Summary: (can be found on my masterlist under series) Natasha invites Wanda over to see you. When you’re left alone with Wanda, she makes good on a deal she made with Nat. >:)

A/N: So like. Listen. I know. I know. It’s been 2 years. I wrote this piece like a year ago. And this is NOT DONE. It’s NOT GREAT. Y’all voted for the rough edges version. Maybe I’ll edit or polish it later on. Also. I was getting a little gratuitous with Wanda using too many petnames and so I’ve used A SINGULAR PRONOUN for the first time in this series’ history. If I find a way to change it later to remove it I will. It’s they, by the way.

WC: 2.9k (wtf??)

CW: 18+ only, minors dni; series is dark but this is only mildly dark; reader is being kept in Nat's basement but they're like. fine with it??; smut; mommy milkers make mommy milk; cgl themes; sharing partners; dubcon; Wanda uses her powers to manipulate reader; mean Wanda (but only a little, as a treat); Wanda calls reader mutt, pup, etc; threesome; oral (R receiving); Wanda uses magic sexually on reader; no proper ending, sorry

“Baby, mommy needs to talk to you,” Natasha says, muting the TV. You turn to look at her expectantly, face as angelic as ever. She smiles. “Good baby. Now, mommy wants to have a friend of hers over,” she says.

“Upstairs?” you ask, confused. She’s had people over to the house for meetings before—why is she asking you?

“No baby, downstairs, in here,” she says, opening her arms for you to come sit on her lap. You do so, searching for comfort as the idea causes unease. “Oh, baby, it’s okay, don’t worry. She’s very nice.”

“But…” you fiddle with the hem of her shirt for a moment before bringing your thumb to your mouth and looking down.

“She already knows about you, baby,” she practically reads your mind. “She’s the one that helped mommy start making milk for you,” she hums.

“Someone knows?” you’re surprised and… something else you can’t quite put your finger on.

“Yes, baby. My best friend Wanda. We work together and she helps make it so I can stay home with you,” she taps the end of your nose, earning a small smile. “You know mommy doesn’t want to keep you down here all alone and locked up forever, don’t you?” she asks. It’s only half-true, but you nod anyways. “This is how we start, okay?” you nod again.

—

“Baby, I’m here with Wanda!” you hear Natasha’s voice as the lock clicks and the door opens. You get up on your knees at the end of the bed and wait for her with your arms up.

“Mommy!” you greet her with a happy exclamation. She chuckles and goes to help you out of the bed, but you cling to her instead, hiding your face from the brunette standing near.

“Aww, feeling a bit shy, are we?” Wanda’s voice is kind enough as she reaches out, patting your back gently. You flinch a little and Natasha instantly hushes you, rubbing your back where Wanda had touched you to soothe you.

“We’re just a little nervous,” Natasha says for you. “It’s been a long time since you’ve seen anybody but mommy, huh?” she asks. You nod against her.

She carries you over to the couch and sits with you on her lap, Wanda sitting on the other end. Natasha turns your head to face her and you examine your guest with your eyes, deep in thought. You notice she’s holding a stuffed animal in your favorite color. She sees your eyes land on it and smiles warmly.

“Hi there,” she says. “Your mommy said this was your favorite color,” you nod to confirm. “I thought it might be nice for you to hold,” she holds it out to you and you look to Natasha, who nods, before taking it. You pull it close, finally unwrapping yourself a little from Natasha.

“That’s so precious!” Natasha says, looking at the toy in your hands. “What do we say, baby?”

“Thank you,” you say shyly, unable to meet her eye. She smiles anyways.

“I’m glad you like it,” she says. “You gonna give it a name?”

“He’s gonna be called Dots,” you say, running your hand over the bumpy dotted texture of the toy’s fur.

“Dots. That’s a good name,” she says. You smile a little. “I know you’ve been down here for awhile with just you and mommy, right?” she asks. You nod. “What do you like to do together?”

“Um… I like it when we watch cartoons or play with my toys together,” you say slowly. “Mommy makes the best voices for my toys,” you smile. “And I like bath time, too, or when mommy lets me do her makeup. We do all sorts of stuff,” you tell her, smiling at Natasha, who brushes some hair out of your face.

“That sounds awesome, little one,” Wanda says. The petname sounds nice from her lips, making you smile bashfully.

The conversation drifts slowly to the two of them talking about work, occasionally making jokes to include you. You eventually grow comfortable enough to uncurl from your tiny ball on Natasha’s lap to sitting on her normally, playing with Dots and half-listening.

“You okay, Natty?” Wanda asks, and you look to your mommy to see her shifting a little.

“Yeah, don’t worry. Looks like we’re just a little late for milkies time,” she looks at you. “Feeling hungry, little baby?” she asks. You nod; you’ve been ignoring it in the hopes that Wanda would leave before it got unbearable. “Come on then,” she unbuttons her shirt some and unclips her bra on one side.

“But mommy—“ you glance at Wanda.

“It’s okay, baby. Don’t you trust mommy?” she asks. You nod slowly and let her guide you into position, your legs ending up on Wanda’s lap, who gently rubs her thumb on your shin. You squirm a little.

“Behave, baby. Don’t you want mommy’s milkies?” she asks. You nod, cheeks flushed. “Then be good,” she says firmly, guiding your head to her chest. You latch on a little less eagerly than usual, trying to ignore Wanda’s presence and touch. It’s easier with Natasha running her fingers through your hair, humming softly, but not so much as you feel Wanda’s eyes on the two of you like a hawk.

You’re inevitably slipping down into your uninhibited littlespace by the time you switch to her other side, grunting gently when the milk doesn’t flow at first and grabbing onto Natasha. She chuckles and hushes you, adjusting herself to help you in your efforts.

“Easy now,” she soothes.

“How precious,” Wanda coos gently, reaching over to brush your hair out of the way so she can see you better. You can’t flinch without letting go of Natasha’s chest, so you let it happen. She takes the liberty and strokes the back of her finger down your cheek softly.

“Isn’t my baby just the sweetest thing?” Natasha brags, “Come closer, Wans, it’s alright. A lot tamer with your mommy’s milk in you, hm?” Natasha speaks the last part to you as she pats the cushion next to her for Wanda to sit. They both move you as needed for her to get closer, your butt now in the virtual stranger’s lap and her arm resting on your stomach. You whine and look up at Natasha, about to pull away to protest.

“It’s okay, baby, you’re doing a good job,” Natasha holds you fast against her with a gentle hand and even gentler praises. “You trust me, and I trust Wanda. You’re okay. Just drink your milkies,” she placates you easily. You settle back into an edgy comfort and let yourself be held, trying to stay in your big headspace and failing miserably.

“That’s a good baby,” Natasha says as she both sees and feels the resistance leave you. When you finally pull off, she smiles at the little dribble on your chin and wipes it with her thumb before pressing it into your mouth. “Mommy’s got you,” she assures you as your eyes half-close, sucking on her thumb automatically. She coos softly at you.

“Such a good baby,” Wanda muses as she looks on.

“That’s right,” Natasha says proudly, making you blush a little. “See little one, Wanda’s not so scary, is she?” she asks you sweetly. You nod a little bit, earning a satisfied hum. “That’s my baby.”

“My mommy,” you say around her thumb, reaching up to touch her face. Her heart melts at the gesture and she leans down to kiss your forehead.

The tender moment is interrupted as Natasha’s phone rings. She pulls it out of her pocket, looks at it a moment, and then sighs deeply.

“I have to take this,” she says with reluctance. “Go to Wanda, baby,” Natasha pushes you fully into her friend’s lap despite your whimpering protests. Wanda’s arms wrap around you easily and hold you to her as you wiggle, reaching for your mommy to no avail.

“I’ll be as quick as I can, baby,” Natasha assures you, tilting your chin up and kissing you before going upstairs. You look at Wanda with wide eyes in silence for a moment.

“It’s alright, don’t worry,” Wanda speaks first. “Your mommy will be back soon, and she’s only upstairs at any rate.”

You keep staring at her mutely.

“This must be pretty new and scary, huh? And I can tell you’re feeling pretty little, too. But don’t worry, I’ve got you,” she says, voice warm and soothing. “Do you want to watch some cartoons? I know you like that,” she suggests. You nod. “Okay, cartoons it is,” she reaches for the remote and turns on the TV.

You ease considerably with the cartoons on, sucking on your thumb and cuddling Dots close. Wanda holds you and watches passively, wondering what’s taken Nat away so suddenly. She’s so excited to finally be meeting you, too, but trying not to scare you off with her eagerness.

“Want mommy,” you mumble after awhile. It’s rare for Natasha to leave you when you’re in your littlespace, and you are very much disliking it.

“I know, little one. I’m sure she’ll be back just as quick as she can. It won’t be long now,” Wanda assures you once again. She pulls out her own phone to shoot Natasha a text. It has been awhile…

Only about a bit more now. How’s my little baby? she responds.

Missing you, but mostly okay. We’re watching cartoons. I don’t know how long it’ll last though… Wanda informs her

What we talked about before is still on the table. Wanda glances up at you, oblivious, then looks down again.

Are you sure it won’t mess everything up? I haven’t made much headway in the trust department…

It’ll be fine, Wans. My dumb little baby can’t resist feeling good. Natasha’s words make Wanda go red and she shoots another glance at you. Luckily, you’ve still yet to notice.

Alright then. See you soon.

Wanda puts her phone away and turns her attention back to you. You’re babbling to Dots and pointing to the TV, as if trying to explain it to him. It’s absolutely adorable. Wanda watches sneakily, not wanting to interrupt and ruin the moment of pure innocence and cuteness.

“Right mommy—“ when you turn and remember it’s Wanda, not your mommy, who’s holding you, your bottom lip begins to tremble.

“Oh, no no no, baby, it’s okay, don’t cry little one,” Wanda rushes to soothe you, holding you closer and rocking you a little bit. “It’s okay, she’ll be back in just a few minutes, she told me so,” she tells you. You calm a tiny bit at that. “She even told me what to do while we wait for her.”

“R-really?” you sniff.

“Mhm,” Wanda hums, one hand coming down to rest on your tummy.

“What’d she say?” you ask, squirming on her lap a little. You’re feeling tingly, like how Natasha often makes you feel.

“Well, she said she worried your pretty parts might need some attention, and she said I can help you, since you’re just a little baby who doesn’t know how,” Wanda tells you soothingly.

“M-mommy said that?” you ask, trying to ignore the growing sensations in your lower half.

“Yup. She cares about you being comfortable and happy so much that she said I can help you instead of her,” Wanda says with a smile. “Isn’t that nice of her? You’re lucky, little one.”

“Mhm, mommy’s nice,” you say, struggling to put together the logical thoughts in your head that would can tell you what’s going on here.

“Aw, don’t think too much, little one,” Wanda coos, her other hand coming o to the side of your head and stroking your temple. As she smooths the hair there, it feels like she’s smoothing your thoughts, too. Little do you know she really is, but she figures what you don’t know won’t hurt you, right?

“When’s mommy coming back? I need her,” you say, a little dazed.

“Why’s that, precious?” she asks sweetly.

“I’m at all tingly. I don’t like it,” you squirm.

“I can help with that, little one,” her voice is like honey. “Just relax for me, okay? Wanda’s se gonna take care of you,” shepulls down your shorts and underwear, exposing your sensitive area to the air. You whine a little.like

“‘s cold,” you complain.

“I’ve got you,” soon Wanda’s warm hand has moved from your tummy down to cup your mound, quieting you. She reaches down further and starts slowly encircling your most sensitive bundle of nerves, making you sigh softly in relief. Something starts to poke at your entrance but you don’t know what.

“What’s that?” you ask, looking down. You see the hand between your legs encircled with glowing red tendrils.

“It’s alright, little one. It’s just magic, like I used on your mommy before. It’s perfectly safe. And it’ll feel really good,” she says, slowly filling your hole. You whimper softly at the stretch as her fingers continue to work your clit. “How’s that?”

“Good,” you breathe, opening your legs more. She smiles.

“That’s a good little baby, spread those legs nice and wide for me,” you heed her suggestion, letting them fall open to give her more access. “Perfect.”

She gracefully works up to a rhythm that has you whimpering softly with each thrust, clutching tightly to Dots. The hand at your temple moves down, allowing her thumb to play at your lower lip. You open your mouth eagerly, wanting to take it into your mouth, but she doesn’t let you. She simply teases your lip while your mouth hangs open, panting heavily.

“So damn precious,” she says, her voice husky. She leans over to see your hole clenching around red-tinted nothingness and bites her lip. “Feeling good, little one?”

“S-so good, Wanda,” you stutter, twisting and panting.

“Look at you, panting like a little doggie. Is that what you are? Are you a dumb little pup for me?”

“I-I-“ you don’t know how to react. Her words are nothing like Natasha’s, but they’re making your body feel the same way. You give a small whimper of confusion.

“Aw, too dumb to even know what you are,” she says with mock sympathy. “It’s okay, good puppies like you don’t need to think, just let me do it for you for now,” her voice is soft again.

“I-I can’t-“ you gasp, somehow feeling overstimulated before you’ve even had a single orgasm.

“You can. Be a good pup for me,” she encourages sweetly.

The door opens and you both look over to see Natasha at the door, who grins at the sight before her. She quickly comes to your side, smiling at Wanda and exchanging a few looks before looking down at you. She smooths some hair out of your face.

“Mommy!” you whine loudly, one hand leaving Dots to clutch at hers. You hold it to your sweaty face, her touch cooling, and whimper as you lean into it.

“Aww, looks like you and Wanda are getting along just fine,” she says. “You’re being such a good baby for Mommy’s friend. Do you feel good?”

“Yes mommy, feels so good, so good—can’t th-th-“ you whine desperately.

“Dumb little mutt can’t handle what I’ve got to give,” Wanda chides. “But they’re trying nonetheless,” she shifts you around on her lap so Natasha has an unobstructed view of your cunt as she uses her powers to press into your every crevice.

“Isn’t that a sight,” she breaths softly, getting her face in close. “Move your finger. I wanna taste my baby,” she instructs. Wanda obliges, focusing fully on her magic while Natasha begins licking and sucking at your clit harshly.

“Mommy!” you cry out. “Mommy, Wanda, I can’t, I can’t—“

“You’ll take what’s given to you like the good little slut you are,” Wanda cuts you off firmly, a particularly hard thrust punctuating it. “If you come nice and pretty for us, maybe we’ll be nice and give you a rest,” she says. You glance down to Natasha between your legs.

“Yes, baby, you can come. Come for us, all over me,” she pauses to say before diving back in.

It feels like her and Wanda have just increased their efforts by tenfold, making you cry out even louder than before, tongue hanging out as you pant heavily. It’s all too much—you can’t last much longer like this.

“Please!” you whine.

“Come on, you can do it baby,” Wanda says softly, encouraging you over the edge. “Be good and make a mess for us.”

The coil in your body snaps at that and your back arches as you scream, lifting your torso up off of Wanda’s lap as your hips buck.

“That’s it, that’s it baby, so good for us, for mommy and Wanda,” Natasha is your beside you in seconds, kissing your face and rubbing your tummy soothingly. You whimper softly at her kisses and your body calms down enough to return to Wanda’s lap. She too is praising you, petting your head in reassurance. Tears brim in your eyes and threaten to fall, but Natasha catches them.

“It’s okay baby, mommy’s got you now, we both do,” Natasha soothes. “You’re alright now, you did so good.”

“Did good?” you repeat hazily.

“So good,” Wanda confirms.

to be continued…

And that’s it, I’m sorry. If I don’t post it right now as it is I’m just not going to do it again.

read the rest of grad gift here

[spacelazarwolf]

Any tips for a trans man who’s worried he’ll regret medical transition? I’ve wanted to go on T for over 2 years now and now that I’m very close to that goal I worry that I’m faking it and I’ll regret it, but I also know that if I get further down the line and end up actually being a trans man I will be mad at myself for not starting t now.

tbh do drag. i had been thinking abt going on t for years but held off because i was a professional singer and i didn't know if i would regret it, but one day i did a kind of more tame drag look where i drew on facial hair, and that combined with my new flat chest after getting top surgery, was my "oh i have to do this" moment. so as much as ppl are like "u can't just try it on!!!!!" you kind of can. draw on a little mustache. voice train to get your voice lower and see how it make you feel, bind your hips to see how any fat redistribution from there will make you feel about your silhouette, use makeup to make your face look more angular, look at pictures of your male relatives and think about how you would feel if you swapped bodies for the day.

in terms of regret, i have posted about this before but there will never be a zero chance of regret with transition. there will always be a chance, even if it is like 0.001%, that you might detransition. that's just one outcome of having bodily autonomy. talk to (trans friendly) detransitioners about their experiences, destigmatize the idea of detransition in your mind. know that even though there are some things that will be permanent changes like your voice dropping or bottom growth, there are a lot of things that are at least partly reversible. fat distribution, iirc, is entirely reversible, you can go on estrogen to change the texture of your skin and hair close to what it was before, you can use all sorts of serums on your hairline or use finasteride while taking t if you're worried about hair loss.

basically the biggest thing is to not go into it thinking you have to have absolutely zero doubts. te/rfs are gonna hate this line but don't let yourself think that if you have a moment of doubt that you have to immediately stop and decide you've made a mistake. check in with yourself, see if you're happy with where you are, where your feelings of doubt come from. because for me, a lot of the time it's coming from internalized transphobia or societal pressure.

[hollycircling]

would you consider dropping some tips on how you color? your art always has such a nice feeling to it

Thank you so much, and yes, absolutely! 

So... I have been agonizing over how to answer this question for over a week because I tend to make a lot of my major decisions based on what looks and feels good to me in the moment. It’s sort of hard to explain. Then I started getting philosophical with it (“how does one color? How do I explain aesthetic?”), and I started rambling, and had to cut the answer way, way, way down lol.

But here’s what I can help with right now. I think the most important part of how I color is my tools and what they allow me to do. These are currently my favorite brushes to use: 

From top to bottom, I use Kyle T’s Gouache for just about everything. A lot of my recent pieces are done entirely in that– I love the chunky texture and how the pressure mimics traditional gouache. It’s great for children’s book illustrations, and filling linework, and realistic portraits. She is my soft wife and I love her. 

I practically never use the default hard round. Ignore that. 

The roller brush is another one I use for painting. It was my go-to before KT’s gouache, so you’ll find it a lot in my older work (and as a big texture thing in my current works). The “Sampled Tip” below that one I usually use for children’s book styled illustrations. It’s like a really dense, waxy crayon, so it’s fun for textured lines and details.

I always paint in my own shadows and highlights, but I like to use the soft round if I want to blow the shadow or highlight out. It’s for extra large areas.

And finally my pencil. I use it for sketching as well as linework, if I plan on doing a linework-centric piece. I don’t think there’s much of a difference between the two there… one is probably smoother than the other. 

______________

The reason why I like textured, pressure-sensitive brushes so much is because they’re important to how I paint. When I blend, I don’t use a blender brush or a smudge tool. What I do is layer two colors– lightly– then use the eyedropper to select the color between them and continue painting with it. That’s probably the key to most of my work. I’ve gotten pretty fast at it, so I’m constantly selecting colors from the painting and reusing it throughout my painting. 

I still use the color-wheel to hand-pick what I think will look best, though. This is probably going to be a really frustrating answer, but I choose color palettes based on basic color/lighting theory combined with personal aesthetic preference. It can take some studying (of both theory and other artists’ work). If you’re ever looking for a really great reference on the former subjects, I highly recommend Color and Light by James Gurny. Even if you’re not into watercolor or dinosaurs or realism, the guy is a master at explaining all that different stuff in depth. 

Shape and negative space are also pretty important to me, but that's a whole other thing. And as a side-note, I recommend following more children’s book illustrators. Their work may look simple, but a lot of intention goes into how they use color, shape, space, and texture. 

Also, on texture, I hand-draw most of mine. I love to add little scratches and drops and splashes when the painting is almost over. It's one of my favorite things to do :')

____

Now, the other most important tip:

Once I’m happy with the sketch/linework, and once I’ve laid down the basic colors of my piece, I do a Really Terrible Thing. I become a graphic designer’s worst nightmare and collapse everything onto one layer. 

Then I paint directly on top of it, linework and all.

I do this for a lot of reasons, but mostly because 1) my tiny brain is overwhelmed by the clutter of too many layers, and 2) it forces me to approach a piece as if it was traditional media– a process which I find a lot more comfortable and rewarding. I paint right on top of the base colors, and right on top of the linework, effectively redoing and cleaning up what I already have there. Even if I'm working with a blank background, I'll paint a new blank one on top because it gives the feeling of a more unified piece, if that makes sense.

Basically, I approach my drawings as if I’m using traditional media. I like chunky brushes, utilizing (what I personally think are) interesting color combinations and textures, and smashing everything down onto one page so I can just paint. 

Anyway, please let me know if there’s anything specific you’d like me to go into detail on, any pieces of mine you’d like to know how exactly I went about it, etc etc etc. I’m happy to answer ^^

[chrysoula]

Felt-chan's Bedsharing Experiment

Felt woke up in the dark, instantly alert as the texture of the midnight silence changed. It was a trait she’d developed growing up in the capital’s slums. She no longer slept in such dangerous places, but it was still a useful ability.

“Reinhard?” 

He stepped from the darkness into the patch of starlight shining through her open curtains. “Yes, I’m here.”

“Why?” Her voice was very even.

He hesitated before saying, “I felt anxious and wanted to check on you. I didn’t expect you to wake up.”

Felt eyed him. He was dressed in black and dark blue, rather than his pajamas or the lighter casual clothes she’d last seen him in. Clothes for sneaking out at night. Then she sighed. “Did you have a bad dream again?”

“My lady… you’ve noticed?”

“Of course I noticed. Who do you think I am? Now, get over here.”

Slowly, he approached her big bed. Felt used to wonder why the rich always seemed to think sleeping in a big bed was a status symbol, but now she could suddenly see the point. She scooted back from the warm hollow left by her body and pointed at it. “Lie down.”

“Lady Felt!” Shock flickered over his face, but Felt wasn’t in the mood to savor it.

“What’s the problem? It’s a big bed. I don’t know what the hell’s wrong with you, but I’m pretty sure if we’re in the same bed, you’ll stop worrying I’ve run away or something for a few hours and get some rest.” She narrowed her eyes. “You do keep insisting you’re not a pervert, right?”

He gave her that detestable wan smile. “I do.” He considered a moment and then exhaled lightly. “I see. You may be right. But this isn’t a sustainable solution, my lady.”

Felt snorted. “Damn straight. But it’s a solution that lets me get back to sleep as soon as possible. Besides, you’ll think better once you’ve had some sleep. We can talk about it tomorrow.”

Reinhard’s eyes widened and he looked stricken as he realized what he’d done. “My deepest apologies, Lady Felt. I’ve allowed my own troubles to—”

“Reinhard! If you don’t shut up and lie down right now, I’m gonna get pissed off.”

Once again, the knight contemplated, before sitting down, trailing his fingers down the indention where she’d been.

Felt, who had moved to the cold side of the bed for the stupid Sword Saint, watched him sourly and then flopped over before lifting herself up enough to swipe her own pillow and shove the fresh one where Reinhard would rest his head. 

He glanced at her and smiled in that other way he had, the way that made her happy and angry at the same time. But then he stretched out on the bed, as if her pillow swap had reassured him somehow, so Felt decided she could tolerate it.

He turned just slightly toward her, tucking his far hand under his head with the smile lingering in his eyes, but saying nothing. Even in the darkness, she could see the impossible blue of his eyes.

Felt scowled. “Close your eyes. Go to sleep.”

Obediently, he closed his eyes, although obviously forcing himself to sleep was impossible. It didn’t matter, anyhow. Even without his vision, he could sense everything about her that mattered right now: her breathing, her heartbeat, her warmth…

Felt could see the exact moment he fell asleep. The hint of a smile faded from his face, but no furrowed brow replaced it. His relaxed face was so rarely seen that Felt considered it unnatural, and got pissed off all over again.

Then she considered why she was pissed off and her shoulders slumped. This time she was in the wrong, and she knew it without having to lose an argument with him first. Knowing what she did about his life, and what she did about people, she couldn’t blame him for giving the world so many hollow smiles. But she liked all of his other expressions so much more. Or at least, sometimes when she saw them she wasn’t quite as angry at him as usual.

“Sorry, Reinhard,” she whispered under her breath.

Without waking enough to lose that relaxed expression, Reinhard stirred and his hand moved, capturing her wrist before she realized what was happening. Her teeth clicked together in an angry, incredulous grin as her eyes widened. (I give you a hand and you take an arm, huh? Just like always…)

But she didn’t pull away. He’d release her immediately if she woke him, but it would be way too much trouble to calm him down and get him to rest again. Besides, it wasn’t so bad to sleep once more beside somebody she trusted…

Felt, too, fell asleep.

Reinhard opened his eyes in darkness, and tried to reassemble the facts that led him to his current position.

Ah. He must have fallen asleep after Lady Felt’s gracious act of comfort.

Only… He couldn’t quite recall how exactly she’d ended up spooned against his chest, with both of his arms around her. He felt quite certain she wouldn’t have voluntarily positioned herself that way, so had he forced her…? But no. If he’d done anything like that, she would have complained loudly, and he would have woken up instantly. 

Then it must have happened gradually and accidentally. He’d long since stopped seeing even violent physical contact from his mistress as something to automatically avoid, so it didn’t puzzle him that he’d been able to continue sleeping through the tossing and turning required to…

Oh. He realized that not only was she holding the hand attached to his arm underneath her (or perhaps he was holding hers), but his upper arm, draped over her abdomen, rested on the bare skin revealed by her rucked up pajama top. Of course, her favorite clothing revealed most of her abdomen as well, so he’d had plenty of opportunity to visually inspect her stomach, but he’d never imagined touching it like this. And she was so warm, and the smell of her hair was… comfortable.

He hummed silently to himself. (This really is quite intimate and inappropriate. That’s a problem. But…) 

Reinhard wasn’t sure if he could extricate himself without waking his mistress. If he could, that might erase the issue. There was no need to distress her, after all. But he knew how much that sort of consideration would anger her, and more importantly, it violated Reinhard’s integrity to pretend they hadn’t ended up sleeping together so entangled.

That being decided, he stayed how he was. She would discover their position when she woke naturally, just as he had, and no doubt she would rightfully punish him. So he felt (as he sometimes did) that if he was going to do the time, he might as well do the crime.

His troubling, adorable mistress really was rubbing off on him.

The thought made him unreasonably happy, and he smiled to himself as he once again drifted off to sleep.

Felt woke up in the gray light of dawn with the echo of a gasp, a giggle, and the click of a door echoing in her ears. After evaluating her situation for a moment, she determined her exact physical positioning, which she didn’t actually hate, and also that her twin chamberlains probably knew Reinhard had spent the night in her bed.

Well. First things first, because she certainly wasn’t going to sort this out alone, and she also wasn’t going to act like it hadn’t happened. Her stupid perfect knight was far too comfortable to snuggle against, for one thing.

Her voice harsh and commanding, she said, “Reinhard. Wake up but, and I mean this, do not move.”

His fingers twitched against her revealed stomach, which didn’t quite tickle, and then he said softly, “All right. I’m awake.”

She could feel his breath stirring her hair, and tried to pull her thoughts together. “I give you a hand and you take an arm, just like always…. is what I’d like to say, except I’m not ready to be cold yet.”

“All right,” he said peaceably. “It is rather chilly.” His fingers twitched again, searing trails of sensation against her skin.

Felt frowned. “Aren’t you going to lecture me about how inappropriate this is?”

“I felt that went without saying in this circumstance, my lady. Flam and Grassis have already drawn incorrect conclusions, but they won’t gossip, and I can correct them later.”

“Huh,” she said, taken aback. “I guess you got some serious sleep.”

“Yes, I was untroubled by bad dreams. Thank you for your generosity.”

“Hmph,” Felt said, and then, since she had nothing she was ready to argue with him about, closed her eyes again to doze a bit longer.

It didn’t quite work. Closing her eyes just focused her attention on his hand, and every slight move of his fingers sent tingles through her whole body.

After a few moments, Reinhard said, “Ah. I can’t exactly call it gossiping, but Flam and Grassis are congratulating Rom on acquiring a fine grandson-in-law.”

Felt opened her eyes. “Never mind what they’re doing, it’s what you’re doing that’s bothering me! Are you just eavesdropping all the time, you creepy bastard?”

His fingers stopped moving before she explained what exactly bothered her, but began to move again as he said mildly, “I ignore what doesn’t concern me.”

Felt realized in a flash that the movement of his fingers against her skin was entirely intentional, and her temper rose as she wondered if he was petting her like she was a foxette. Maybe it was time to get back to kicking him and teasing him for being a pervert.

(Nah.) It was really hard to stay mad at him right at that moment, maybe because everything felt so nice. "What's Old Man Rom saying, anyhow?"

"He's cautioning them against assumptions that may embarrass them later. He's a good man." His nose touched her hair. "Lady Felt, as much as I'm enjoying this, it might be best if we separate and ready ourselves to face what may be a trying day."

"Not yet," said Felt stubbornly,  not releasing the hand she still held. "We still have to talk about what's keeping you up all night.”

She could hear how startled he was as he said, "Like this?"

"Exactly like this. I don't have to look at your stupid pretty face, and you don't have to fret about me running away. Not that I know why you suddenly are, after so much time. So spill your guts, Reinhard."

His palm flattened against her stomach as his arm tightened. "I know very well you'd never run from the responsibilities you've taken on. I only wish I could be so confident of my ability to keep you safe.”

Felt closed one eye at this. “That why you keep sneaking out at night? Doesn’t make sense, Reinhard.”

“Forgive me. I’ve found that… saving others, even in little ways, can sometimes quiet my troubled heart for a time.”

“Yeah, okay, I can see that. Makes sense after all.” Felt nodded to herself and thought for a bit. “You know, I’m surprised you’re staying like I said. You usually ignore my orders when you don’t approve of them, so I guess you must really be enjoying this.”

“I was not lying when I said as much a little while ago. And very little would change at this point were I to disobey you. But I dare say I’m just as surprised that you’re allowing this.”

“Yeah, well, Old Man Rom says I’m too big to sleep beside him any more.”

Reinhard hummed thoughtfully. “I didn’t know that.”

“Not that we slept quite like this,” added Felt, annoyed. “I just used to sleep on his chest all the time, ever since I was a baby.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” he said, and his hand relaxed enough to start drawing light circles against her skin again.

(Hey, what the hell does that mean?) But Felt bit the demand back, because she wasn’t sure she wanted an answer. Instead she said, “So what do you need to get rid of the bad dreams for good?” Then, unable to stop herself, she added acidly, “Maybe we can get you a foxette kit.”

He pressed his head against hers enough that his voice was muffled as he said, “I think that would be very cruel to the foxette.”

Felt snorted and almost rolled over to face him, just stopping herself. “It would be the happiest foxette in the world and you know it, you dumbass.”

He said nothing, which wasn’t a denial. Then he said, “Although I don’t quite understand why you think a foxette would help.”

“Doesn’t have to be a foxette.” Felt’s slender shoulders tightened in an awkward shrug. “Something warm you can cuddle and pet. Maybe anything would do.” 

His fingers kept moving even as he said, “My lady, I’m hurt that you think I could replace you so easily.”

She squeezed his other hand. “I’m not a foxette, okay? Not a foxette!”

“No, you are not,” he agreed. “You are such a lovely young lady that I cannot bring myself to stop touching you at the moment. It’s quite a dilemma, and I already regret burdening you with my ineptitude.”

Felt sighed, but her shoulders relaxed a little. “So you don’t think a foxette would help.”

His nose was in her hair again. “Would you like a kit, my lady?”

From anybody else that might have been some kind of innuendo, but Felt knew Reinhard well enough to recognize a sincerity she definitely had to nip in the bud before she ended up with another pain-in-the-butt underfoot. She scoffed. “Me? Hell no. Foxettes are nothing but rivals for the best food.”

Bits of her hair moved against his mouth as he mused, “The twins have a birthday soon. Maybe they’d like a foxette. Or perhaps one for each?”

Exasperated, Felt said, “If you want a foxette, just get a foxette, Reinhard. But only one.”

He lifted his head a little, so that his voice came more clearly. “It’s not so much that I want a pet so much as your suggestion struck a chord. Whether or not any individual member wants it, my intuition tells me the camp needs a foxette.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” And then, because she really did know Reinhard well, added, “Just one! I’m serious! This camp isn’t big enough for two foxettes.”

And then, because she could learn from the past, she demanded, “Reinhard, do you already have some abandoned kits you’ve stashed somewhere?” Although she could hardly believe it possible, coincidence did favor Reinhard in exactly this way when he wanted it to.

He responded only to her surge of physical tension. “Are you ready to rise and face the day?” His weight shifted as if he was about to slide away.

“No!” shouted Felt, in a swelter of panic and confusion and hurt. “I will never forgive you if you if you’ve been manipulating me this way, you bastard!”

He froze. “Lady Felt… That has not been my intention, I swear, but the circumstances—”

Felt squeezed his hand as hard as she could. “If it’s not your aim, then don’t go running away as soon as I ask, dumbass.”

He relaxed once more. “My lady, that grip would be quite painful for anybody else.”

“Sure, but you can take it just fine.” Felt mashed his fingers a bit more before giving up on getting any other reaction from him. “Well?”

“Ah. While it’s true that I did recently rescue some abandoned kits, I was planning on rehoming them without bringing them to your attention… until you made me imagine the addition of one (or perhaps two) to our household.”

“And that has nothing to do with how you’ve been cuddling up to me and rubbing my belly, is that what you’re claiming?”

Without any hesitation he said, “I couldn’t say. I woke like this; it’s not impossible that I dreamt of baby animals and grew confused by your proximity. But I can say that I’ve barely touched the kits as of yet. I only checked their health before putting them in a basket, after which I delivered them to Marian the midwife, who agreed to temporarily foster them while I found them new homes.”

Then, meditatively, he said, “But it’s also true I’ve never cuddled this close to another human before. Well, not since I was a young child myself. I do recall that we had a large dog when I was around eight—”

"That's it!" Felt finally had enough, and jumped in his arms, spinning to face him and grabbing him by his shirt front. The fact that he released her hand in time for her to spin freely was just fuel to the flames. “You bastard, you didn’t just take my arm, you took the whole bed! Which one of us is the mistress and which one the dog, huh? Tell me that!”

His arms closed back around her as he met her gaze with his radiant blue eyes, their heads on the same pillow. He was smiling broadly in the face of her wrath. “Normally I would protest such a term, but I’m happy to be of service to my lady in whatever way she requires.”

“You really shouldn’t be smirking like that when somebody’s calling you a dog, you know?” She shook his shirt back and forth, but couldn’t budge him. 

Instead of answering, one of his hands slipped under the back of her pajama top, tickling her back a little.

Warningly, she said, “You know, I’m in a great position to bring you a whole world of hurt, unless you’re immune to that too.” She shifted a knee meaningfully.

His hand stilled, but stayed against her skin. But the faint remainder of his earlier smile remained in his eyes as he said, “I assure you, it would hurt as much as you imagine. But I’ve already accepted that I will face harsh consequences for the liberties I’ve taken.”

Felt eyed him sourly. “Did you now. Way to take all the fun out of it, dumbass.” Reinhard _letting_ her hit him wasn’t satisfying at all.

Then an idea occurred to her and she grinned, her fang showing. When his eyes narrowed, which she recognized from her long-ago run of failed escape attempts before she’d joined the Royal Selection, she said, “No no, Reinhard. You said you’d take whatever I dish out, right?”

[caesurah-tblr]

Take this. I cried writing it.

No TWs for this one.

They’re running.

It hurts, running this much. Every step he takes feels like a knife digging into his guts. Charlie seems even worse off- he’s stumbling behind, making these horrible, pained sounds.

They should be safe now. God, he hopes they’re safe. He just wants this to be over.

Ranboo skids to a stop and turns to Charlie, catching his struggling friend in his arms.

“You’re okay.” The words feel like a lie. The amount of blood- he’s seen so much blood today- and the paling of Charlie’s skin tells Ranboo all he needs to know.

“I’m okay.” Charlie repeats, nodding. He looks exhausted. “Where are we?”

Ranboo shrugs. “My best guess? Outside. At least we’re out of the facility.”

“Out-outside?” Charlie looks puzzled. “This is outside?”

Those words hurt. Ranboo is once again reminded how horrible Showfall had treated his friend- they had ripped away his memories and had given him a new life, only to tell him in the end it was all a lie.

“I- I don’t.” Charlie’s knees buckle, and Ranboo helps him sit down in the dirt. They’re in a small alcove of trees- from the outside, this mall has been abandoned for a long time, and nature has staked its claim on the land. The sound of birds and the gentle brush of the wind against the leaves make the moment almost seem serene.

“You’ve never been outside?” He grips his friend’s arms. They’re slick with blood.

“I can’t- I can’t remember. But it’s- it’s really nice out here, man.” Charlie pulls away from him and brings his hands to the ground to grip the dirt. “We’re free? They can’t hurt us here?”

“I think so.” Ranboo watches Charlie pull up fistfuls of dirt and rub them between his palms as if fascinated by the texture. “They didn’t even follow us past the doors. We’re safe.”

“That’s great. And you’re okay? Got your memories back?” Ranboo nods and Charlie closes his eyes with a sigh, a relieved smile on his lips.

“Thank fucking god.” He’s collapsing, then, falling into Ranboo’s arms. He catches Charlie, not caring about the blood smearing along his clothes as he grips the body of the only friend he has left.

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” Charlie mutters in his ear. “Everything is okay now. We’re safe. Ranboo?”

“Yeah Charlie?”

“I think I’m gonna take a nap, okay? I’ve never been outside before. It feels so nice.”

Ranboo shakes his head. “You gotta get up. You can nap later, okay? I know you can’t remember anything, but now you can make your own memories. They don’t control you anymore.”

“This is my memory, Ranboo.” Charlie squeezes him. “I finally get to feel what it’s like to be outside, and I finally get to see you go home. Like it was always meant to be.”

“Charlie-“

“Help me lay down? I wanna feel the grass.”

Ranboo gently lays his friend in the grass, removing his own jacket to tuck under Charlie’s head for comfort.

Charlie pats the ground beside him and Ranboo lays down too. It’s such a nice day- the sun is shining through the trees, casting beautiful rays of light. He wonders what it would be like to see it for the first time.

Charlie looks absolutely mesmerized by the sight and it brings Ranboo to tears. It’s not fair that Charlie won’t get the chance to experience happy things.

“You think this is cool? You should see a sunset.”

“A sunset?” There are tears running down Charlie’s face, but the wide grin tells him they’re happy tears. Just this and he’s ecstatic.

Ranboo sniffles. “Uh, yeah. It’s what happens when the sun goes down. The sky gets filled with all these pinks and yellows and reds. It’s beautiful.”

Ranboo tells him about everything. About sunrises, about the ocean- happy things. All the while, Charlie listens as he digs his hands into the soil, like his committing the feeling to memory.

“It all sounds so nice.” Charlie turns to him. “I’m glad you’ll get to see those things again.”

Fuck. “You should get to see all those things too. It’s not fair.” A sob slips past his lips. “You’ve worked so hard to survive. You didn’t even get your memories back!”

Charlie shrugs, eyes closing as he turns back towards the sky. “My memories, if I ever had any, don’t exist anymore. But this memory? It’s mine. And if it’s the only memory I’ll ever have, then that’s enough for me.”

Ranboo can’t help but let out another sob. If given another chance, he’d take the blow that had fatally injured Charlie. It had been meant for him, after all.

“Tell me about your friends?” Charlie asks. And Ranboo does.

He watches the color slowly fade from Charlie’s eyes as he tells him about his friends and family. He feels so helpless, but Charlie looks so happy to be here in the grass and dirt with the sun shining through the trees, so he keeps going and doesn’t stop until the body beside him goes still.

“Charlie?” Ranboo sits up and looks down at his friend, tears starting anew at the sight.

Charlie’s eyes look towards the sky and he wears a soft smile on his lips- it’s almost peaceful, in a weird way. Charlie has been fighting for even longer than Ranboo has, and he has finally gotten what he had always so desperately wanted.

A memory to call his own. One Showfall can never mess with.

“Goodbye, friend.”

[married-2-the-music]

K-pop Discography Deep Dives: LUCY

Lucy is the third full-fledged band I’ve covered here, which means that they compose, write, and play instruments. The members are Wonsang (bass), Sangyeop (guitar and vocals), Gwangil (drums), and Yechan (violin), and they debuted in 2020. Apparently, the name Lucy is in honor of a dog that lived close to where they practiced, which is pretty funny.

Here are my credentials: Uh…very few, I’m afraid. Lucy caught my eye in a compilation video (or rather, the violin did), and I decided to check out their music. I know a few title tracks, but very few of their b-sides, and very little about the members themselves, so I’m looking forward to learning more.

Flowering, their debut, was also the first song I’d heard of Lucy’s, from a compilation video (the name of which I’ve unfortunately forgotten). It begins understated, but later blossoms (ha!) into a very catchy though still gentle pop song, absolutely giving the feeling of spring coming into the air. The violin adds a kind of texture not usually seen in k-pop, and its beautiful instrumental section is one of my favorite parts. Really, this song is stunning. What a way to start. The intro is also quite lovely.

Jogging is, right away, a more bright and youthful song than Flowering, and I can always appreciate it when a band accepts the innate humor of their work. If Flowering was spring, this song feels like the beginning of summer: a touch childish, fun-loving, funny, and colorful. It got a few chuckles out of me, I’ll give it that, and that chorus was pretty catchy. I liked how they still managed to work the violin in and add depth, but not make the song less upbeat.

From the EP, Panorama, I enjoyed the violin flourishes in the post-chorus of Straight Line, Suran’s featured voice (which goes so well with Sangyeop’s) in the laid back Missing Call, and the rising tension that suddenly switches up to a great, nostalgic summer track in Flare (absolutely my hidden gem; it was excellent).

Snooze’s opening of only violin and piano is more melancholy than their other intros, adding well to the song’s general sense of nostalgia and disillusionment. The chorus brings in some much-needed levity, turning that nostalgia into something brighter but still deeply felt, connecting to many people who also feel like their childhoods have been lost. This may be my favorite so far! I’m a sucker for bittersweet songs with a driving beat, and as someone who grew up near the ocean, the beach and lighthouse in the MV only made me love it more. I also liked the slow burn of this single’s b-side, Farther and Farther, whose catharsis feels very earned.

Hero too starts with a more melancholy feeling, though instead of a beachside feeling in its later moments, it goes for a more truly happy retro one inspired by space. Like Snooze, it focuses on not living up to ideals, but this one takes the route of not being a perfect person but having a lover (or other loved one; it’s not specific) who lifts you up and makes you feel special, like a hero. In an industry so populated by love songs, I really enjoyed this slightly more vulnerable take on one; it feels unique. I also liked the very peaceful outro from this single. It felt like a score from a movie about fairies. Stove is also great, especially the ending chorus.

I Got U, instead of violin, begins with a minimalistic, finger-snapping gentle guitar and bass beat. Sangyeop’s vocals are especially nice in this song; they feel floaty and peaceful, and the synthesizers and strings emphasize those qualities. Again, I appreciate the vulnerability expressed in this song, and I think that the very sparingly used instruments really complement those choices. From the EP, Gatcha, I enjoyed the push-and-pull between the brighter and darker energies in the synthy One by One, the hand clapping percussion in Buddy, and the slightly more toned-down strings in Wonder.

This is more a comment on their songs in general, but I love how down to earth their music videos are and how much fun they seem to be having making music together. It’s easy to forget—even for me, writing these reviews—that the people in these bands are humans, with their own hopes and personalities, not just faces on a screen for us to critique. But they never let me forget it, and I appreciate that. I wish more bands would do it!

Irrelevant Answer is much more of a rock song, right out of the gate, which, with my love of Dreamcatcher, I’m totally in favor of. This song reminded me of a mashup of them and Day6 in the best way, with a propulsive energy that, despite a few dips and moments to breathe, never lost my attention. I was nodding my head from the first chorus, and I just didn’t stop!

Rolling Rolling feels a lot more like the k-pop I’m used to than Lucy’s past tracks (which, I want to be clear, isn’t a bad thing at all, since this is a k-pop review blog after all!). It has a synthier, more electronic background, with retro influences that give it an excellent beat for roller skating. Like I mentioned before, I think that the violin adds depth to what could be simple songs, and this one’s no exception. Also, I appreciate how the track goes from talking about how life just goes around and around to becoming genuinely inspiring as the MV shows people finally pursuing their dreams. From the EP, Blue, my hidden gem was You’re Right with its excellent guitar riffs, but I also enjoyed the more mellow Eclipse.

Blue Voyage is a single, and follows in the steps of Snooze with its nostalgic, beachside feeling, but instead of going for a bittersweet rumination on lost youth, it’s an upbeat and sunny love song. The chipper instrumental and light quality to the strings just feels like summer, and since it’s December when I’m typing this, it’s a nice reminder that it won’t be 30 degrees out until the end of time and that in a few months, short sleeves will stop being insane.

Play, unsurprisingly from an album called Childhood, follows in the steps of Snooze in the opposite way to Blue Voyage. It’s a reminder of simpler, happier times when you could just live life without cares, and how the people we love bring us back to those times. I like the choice to make the verses quite minor and almost sad, while the chorus is bright and free-wheeling, and the way they come together is great. I also enjoyed the “lalalala” fade out and the half-cartoony, half-realistic shots of the music video, which worked well with the subject matter.

From the full album, Childhood, I enjoyed the call-and-response in Knowhow, the way the drums and strings mix together in 10 sec, the rushing energy of Opening, the gentle guitar in You Are My Light, and Song Eun Hye’s feature on We Will Fly Away (which was my hidden gem).

Some Day In The 21st Century’s excited intro is a welcome shift from the sadder Play, though it sticks to Lucy’s running theme of wanting to hold on to the past and stay close to one’s own childhood. I’m normally not a fan of chanting in k-pop, but here in this song’s post-chorus, it really works with the feeling of nostalgia the track imparts and blends in seamlessly with the instrumental and the soaring vocals. Also, there’s the return of the violin solo, which is always welcome.

Unbelievable is on the brighter, more cartoony side of Lucy’s discography, and the MV made me laugh uncontrollably due to war flashbacks of the time I was obsessed with Minecraft as a kid, though I understand that the MV’s supposed to be a shoutout to a range of video games. Its choppy background, springy guitar, and incredibly fast strings do a good job propping up the song’s feel-good message of “believe in yourself”, though I had to watch it a second time because I was laugh-cringing too hard (which is my own fault, I suppose). From the EP, Insert Coin, I enjoyed the quite catchy beat of Tied Up, and especially the metal influences on Fill It Up.

Haze is only the second song I’d heard of Lucy’s, which is a bit funny as it’s also one of their most recent. It embraces the same kind of warm spring feeling that Flowering does, but with more of a soft rock edge. I enjoyed the muted, echoing chatting in the pre-chorus that felt like cheering someone on to get back again. I also really appreciate the messaging of this one to never give up, expressed through people facing bullying, a sports injury, and tests with the help of support. It’s a very sweet message, and everyone needs a song like it, sometimes. From the EP, Fever, I enjoyed the strong driving beat and call-and-response of So What.

Boogie Man goes further into rock than most of their songs, and I adore the over-dramatic direction they took with this one, since it feels right out of Halloween. The song is funky and a touch jazzy, and just generally fun, with some slight digressions here and there to give the violin some time to shine, and I also really liked the choppy nature of when the instruments choose to kick in and pull back, making it feel dynamic and playful. I didn’t expect to love this one so much, but it became one of my favorites.

So, I’m glad I did this! I wouldn’t quite call myself a Walwal (their fandom name), but I can definitely consider myself at least a fan. Their discography is so joyful and bright, while also being nostalgic and genuine in its emotions. They seem like they’re not afraid to laugh at themselves and have fun with their music, which is always great to see. Watching some behind the scenes content gave me some great laughs as well. Overall, I had a good time!

My Top 5 songs are Snooze, Flare, Boogie Man, Irrelevant Answer, and Flowering, with You’re Right as an honorable mention. Lucy gets a 9 out of 10 from me, which is a surprise for everyone involved, but a happy one! I’ll be looking forward to their next releases, and who knows? I could definitely see myself becoming a Walwal in the future.

Next time, we’ll be doing Part 2 of Girls’ Generation. Tschuss!

[paytato435]

Chapter 13: Breach of Contract

Good Morning!

“Hey, there you are!”

“I’m here! Finally…”

“Girl, you said it was twisted, not fucking broken!”

“It’s not broken! It’s just a sprain. It should be fine in a couple weeks.”

“If you’re on crutches it might as well be broken. Go the whole nine yards.”

“Leo!”

“What? I’m just messing around.”

Everything felt numb. As if he were wrapped in the thickest blanket burrito. Wait, he could feel… no, his heart was pounding, but it was pounding inside his head. It seemed to be the only part of himself he could move. With pained effort, he managed to drag his eyes open.

“Hey! There he is! Good morning, big guy!” Raph’s big green face smiled warmly.

All eyes were on him. Leo, April, Raph, and Splinter surrounded him on all sides.

“Orange,” Mikey’s eyes snapped over to the small and scraggly fuzzball at his side.

“Hey Dad,” he groaned. Splinter held tightly to the box turtle’s hand, but Mikey could only feel a very distant pressure. He knew what his dad's hand felt like; it shouldn't feel like… well… nothing! It was as if his entire body rested on solid air. The only texture he felt was from the fabric of the pillowcase behind him.

He stared at the connection between himself and his dad. Why didn't he feel it?

“Where-?”

“We’re in the hospital,” Splinter explained. “But we’re all safe now, Michelangelo.”

Mikey looked around the room, but noticed two of them were missing.

“Donnie’s with Casey,” Leo answered before he could ask. “But he probably won’t wake up for a while longer.”

“What?” Donnie was still unconscious? What happened to him?

“Do you remember what happened, Mikey?” April asked gently.

“Why can’t I move?”

“So, you were like… sooooo heavily sedated, dude,” Leo gave him a nasty smile. “Doc said you won’t feel anything for a whole day!”

“What?” That didn’t make any sense. Why would they do that?

They must have seen the look on his face, because Raph’s little chasm deepened with worry.

“Your shell is fucked bro.” It seemed Dr. Delicate Touch was rubbing off a bit onto Leo.

“And your arms, a bit,” Raph added, in a much gentler tone. “Your left is just grazed, but your right…”

Mikey looked down to his shoulder and saw nothing, because everything there was to see was wrapped tightly in bright white bandages.

“I couldn’t move it before,” he remembered trying to support himself on the wall back at the facility.

“Yeah, it’s kind of messed up at the moment, but it should recover. The bullet passed right through and tore some ligama-whatsits,” Raph explained. “But apparently the doctors here did their magic and it should be right as rain in a few days.”

“I can’t move it for days?”

“You almost lost it, my son, you are very lucky,” Splinter pointed out. “And I know I’ve already said this to you all already…” he gave the stink eyes to his other children, and they groaned. “But you should have called me! Running off on your own like that was extremely dangerous!”

The box turtle wilted with shame. They should have reached out to Dad immediately. He must have been so worried.

“I’m sorry Dad,” Mikey sniffed. Splinter patted his hand and gave a sad smile.

“I know, Orange. But you really scared us there. I’m so happy you made it home safe.”

“How is Donnie?”

“He’s doing great!” April spoke up. “He made it out of it unharmed, amazingly enough.”

“Then where is he?” Mikey gave a confused look to Leo.

This time it was Leo's turn to look embarrassed. He rubbed his arm with his thumb nervously before admitting, “Casey’s got a concussion. Donnie's keeping an eye on him in another hospital.”

“What?! Casey’s hurt?”

Leo nodded. “Aderman knocked him in the head pretty good. He should be okay too, but he hasn’t woken up yet.”

Oh. He’d gotten them switched around in his head. Wait… Mikey noticed something was off with Leo’s face. He narrowed his eyes at the slider. It was covered in nasty cuts and bruises.

“What happened to you?”

“It’s… it’s a long story,” Leo averted his eyes, crossing his bandaged arms.

“Leo…”

But just then Leo’s phone buzzed.

“Purple!” Splinter’s face lit up as Leo dug out his cell.

“Bueno,” Leo hummed casually.

Donnie’s voice could barely be heard on the other side.

“Of course, I’ll be over there soon! Hey hey guess what, the Mikester’s up too. Yeah. Really? Well, don’t let him in. What do you mean he’s already there?”

Leo took a quick glance around the room. “Gotcha gotcha. I’m on my way. Ciao!” The moment Leo hung up, Splinter and Raph both gave him the same suspecting look.

“Who’s over there?” Raph asked.

“Who?” Leo asked, repeated dumbly. “I dunno what you’re on about. Donnie needs help with somethin’. I’ll be right back,” he spoke so quickly Mikey had a hard time keeping up. At the same time, the slider whipped out a single katana and cut open a portal.

“You broke another one?” Mikey groaned, noticing the second empty scabbard.

“The doctors said you’re gonna have a wicked scar on your shell, hermano,” Leo winked before disappearing.

“Wait what?!” Mikey squeaked, partially confused by the sudden change in topic. Looking helplessly at his remaining brother, Raph only offered a shrug in response.

“It’s a shell, not skin, dude. Best we can do is staple it back together.” He pointed with a thumb to the chip in his own carapace.

Mikey groaned. How was he supposed to keep up his sweet baby charm with a shattered carapace? It took him another two seconds to realize Leo had already left them behind.

Stop

When Leo stepped into Casey’s hospital room, he tried to mentally prepare himself for what was likely an unpleasant encounter.

“What are you doing here, Synth?” the slider greeted cheerfully.

The bobcat stood with his back to him, facing Casey, who was still asleep in bed. Like Leo, his Casey’s head was also heavily bandaged. At least he didn’t look as bad as Mikey, but Leo’s stomach still churned. It was his fault Casey had gotten hurt.

When Synth heard the slider, both his bobbed tail and ears twitched to attention. He turned his head and narrowed his creepy round eyes.

“There he is,” the yokai growled.

Leo put his remaining sword back into its sheath, and grimaced as he recalled what he had just done to the other only a few hours ago.

He also remembered that he'd tried to kill Aderman. He still wasn't sure how he felt about that.

“What’s up, man? How’re you doing?”

Synth did not look impressed.

“You brothers are reckless,” he growled. In the corner, Leo could see Donnie roll his eyes. He was sitting in a chair by the window. They’d heard that enough before.

“We’re working on it,” Leo shrugged, trying to look unbothered.

"Oh really? Because it sure doesn't look like it!" Synth snapped raising clawed hands toward both Casey and Leo's face.

"I heard your "sword" shatter from across town! You've learned nothing!"

"I had to defend us somehow-" Leo tried to defend himself.

"And you failed to do so. Your brothers are hurt because of you-"

"Shut up!"

The bobcat froze.

"That's inaccurate," Donnie told them quietly.

"Donnie…"

"It's my fault. I never should have gone sneaking about without you guys." Donnie looked over to Casey, who was somehow still sleeping through their escalating argument. Once he'd heard Mikey was stable, he'd refused to leave Casey's side, even though both Splinter and April offered to watch him. The guilt written all over his face was evident.

"Donnie, it's not your fault those guys were mondo evil-"

"But it's my fault for being stupid!" he interrupted, his arms and fists tense at his sides. "We keep throwing ourselves into situations without actually thinking things through! I could have handled it so much better if I wasn't so…"

He couldn't even finish his thought. He choked up, and tears started welling up in his eyes.

Leo glanced over at Synth, who was eyeing the soft shell curiously.

"I think you should go."

The bobcat's nose twitched. "I will gladly, but I was hoping Casey would wake up before we went back to the Hidden City."

"We?" Leo asked, confused.

Donnie gave the yokai a dangerous look. "Synth told me he's going to take Casey back to the Nexus."

"You what?! Why?"

"He's been sneaking over there everyday this week," Donnie explained.

“You were tracking him,” Leo remembered.

"Because he was a mess after the pizza place fiasco," Donnie defended.

Leo looked over to Casey. This couldn't be right. Just yesterday he had been having what he thought was a heartfelt conversation with the kid. Had he made all of that up?

"What's… what's he doing at the Nexus?" he asked, unable to keep his voice from cracking.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that," Synth answered coolly.

"Well then you can't take him," Leo answered simply.

"I have to."

"Over my dead body, he's injured!" the slider growled.

"He'll be safe. We'll look after him there."

"That's not the point!" Leo hissed, moving between Casey and the yokai.

Synth gave Leo a glare, but the slider held his ground. "Tell me what's going on here."

"It would be in everyone's best interest if you let me take him."

"It would be in my best interest if you fucked right off."

Synth's ears twitched. "You don't fully believe that."

"Well if you won't tell me what the fuck is happening then what am I supposed to believe?"

Synth looked past Leo over to where Casey was resting.

"Tell me what's going on," Leo insisted.

"Leo…" Leo looked over to Donnie, who pointed back to the bed. He spun around, and saw Casey, now awake, watching him.

"Case…"

"Good morning, sunshine," Donnie gave the human a tight lipped smile.

"Morning?" Casey mumbled, confused, his eyes moving around the room until they landed Synth. He flinched, his eyes widening in fright.

"Yeah, mornin' sleepyhead," the yokai growled. "You've missed yer appointment."

All of the sudden, the color drained from Casey’s face. The kid looked like a frightened rabbit, his eyes darting from Synth, to Leo, to Donnie and back again in rapid succession.

"Relax, man. I ain't told them anythin'."

"But you're going to," Leo said, crossing his arms.

"No!" Casey yipped, causing the three of them to jump. "No he is not. No he’s not no he's no he’s not…" Casey pulled his knees up to his chest.

"Please don't… please don't tell them," he pleaded, his eyes glued to Synth.

"I'm not," the yokai agreed, giving Casey a reassuring nod. "But you have to come back to the Nexus… now."

"He's not going with you!" Leo protested.

He turned to face Casey again. "What's happening, Casey? Has Big Mama done something to you?"

Casey just shook his head slowly, wincing as he did so, but that may have just been from the pain.

"I have to go Leo," seemed to be all he could say.

"You literally have brain damage! You can't just-"

"Stop."

Leo stopped.

Casey furrowed his brow and stared down at his bed sheets. "Stop yelling. It hurts."

"Your injury has made you more sensitive to light and sound," Donnie pointed out. "You should be keeping activity to a minimum. The Battle Nexus isn't the best place to rest."

"I'll be fine," Casey grumbled, running his hands through his hair.

Out of the corner of his eye, Leo noticed Synth's ears twitch. Not that Leo needed the confirmation- it was clear that Casey was lying.

"Casey, remember what I said the night before?"

Casey didn't even look up.

"You can tell us anything; we're here for you."

"I can't," he answered in barely a whisper. "I really, really wish I could, Leo. But I can't."

"Why not?"

Casey didn't answer.

"Casey!"

Casey carefully pulled the covers back and slid himself out of bed. He shook as he stood, but took Synth's hand when it was offered.

Tears were running down his nose as he kept his eyes on the floor.

"I'll be back soon," he told Leo quietly.

"But-"

"You should really focus on yourself," Synth growled. "I told ya what we should do. We can't move forward with what we discussed until ya do."

Synth snapped his fingers and one of Big Mama's red-violet portals materialized behind him.

"With what? With the knife?"

Synth's bug eyes were unreadable.

"Of course,” he confirmed. “I mean what I said. Things can't stay as they are. If they do, a lot of people are gonna be hurt. You get yer shit together, then we’ll meet again."

"Geez, I'd be honored," Leo sneered, but the malice evaporated when he saw Casey taking careful steps toward the portal.

"Do you really have to do this, Casey?"

When Casey brought his eyes up to meet his, Leo was surprised to see that they were focused. He was terrified, obviously, but there was something there fighting for dear life. It was a desperate determination that was intimidating enough that Leo took an involuntary step back.

"I do."

"Fine, go."

Casey seemed immune to Leo's pout; he turned and stepped through the portal first, Synth following him through promptly.

The room went dark as the violet light dissipated. The twins were left in silence.

“What a total asshole,” Donnie jeered after them.

Leo nodded in agreement, his arms crossed in a frigid posture. “Hey, do you still have that virus that IP bans any user from Minecraft?”

Donnie nodded sagely. “An excellent suggestion, Nardo.” He shook his wrist tech awake and began tapping away manically. “I'm working on a new one for Steam as well,” the softshell smiled mischievously. “He'll never be able to play video games online ever again. Pending an apology, of course.”

“Of course,” Leo rolled his eyes. “We aren't savages.”

“Of course, of course…”Donnie agreed before baring his teeth. He paused suddenly, and fished something out of a black duffel bag at his feet. Leo recognized the bag as the first aid kit from the tank. Donnie tossed a phone to him.

“I uh… forgot about Casey's stuff.”

Leo pressed the power button and Casey's lock screen flickered on. The background image was perfectly generic- almost embarrassingly so. Did this kid not have any personal interests?

Or he really just didn't want them to know him.

“I can't believe he forgot,” Leo squinted. “He never lets anyone touch this.”

“Should we see what's on it? I could probably break it open.”

Leo rolled the device over in his hand in thought. He really wished Casey would have opened up to them, but at the same time…

“No. Not yet,” Leo frowned, tossing it back to his brother. “He said he'd be back. Let's give him a day and he can explain things when he returns.”

“Fair,” Donnie shrugged, also looking the device over. “He better get back soon. He has a lot of explaining to do.”

What the Actual Fuck is Happening

When the twins returned to Mikey's room and let everyone know where Casey had gone, the room quickly erupted into chaos.

He did what?

Why?

What about his head?

We should have been there!

“You should have stopped him!”

Leo glared at his older brother for that last one. “I tried to talk to him. What was I supposed to do? Restrain him? Fight him while he has a fucking brain injury?”

“You shoulda stopped the cat man,” Raph crossed his arms. “Or portal them somewhere else! Anything!”

“Well sorry for not thinking of every possibility, hermano,” Leo scowled, dropping into a chair by Mikey's bed. The box turtle had fallen asleep while he was gone. “He said he'll be back.”

“And you believe him?!” Raph pressed.

Leo's eyes darted away as Raph rolled his.

“You're at least keeping an eye on him, right?” Raph asked Donnie.

“Of course! I'll know right away if something happens,” Donnie nodded confidently. The snapper sighed, and whatever frustration Leo had built up waned. Raph was just scared; they were all scared.

“I'm sure he'll be alright,” Leo assured them.

Nobody looked convinced.

April shifted in her seat. “He looked pretty messed up when we met up again, what happened to you both?”

“I fucked up,” Leo lamented, as he relayed to the others how he had broken his sword again and Casey had nearly died.

“She used my portals against me. I couldn't do anything.”

“Used them against you?” Donnie's head perked up in curiosity. “She stopped my weapons completely.”

“Bishop did the same thing,” Raph growled. “That's how Mikey got hurt. No clones, no cover.”

“Could he use your powers?” Leo asked, curious. Raph shook his head.

“No, thank God. Things woulda turned out a lot different if he did.” Raph looked over in concern at their youngest brother. Leo had trouble doing the same; he looked so… gone. He kicked himself for breaking the group up when they found Donnie. They should have all left together…

“It probably has something to do with the Krang they're keeping in there,” Apri pointed out.

“The what?!” Splinter and Donnie interjected at the same time. April took a moment to describe what the rest of them had already seen inside the facility.

“So they like, duplicated whatever… thingy… let's them cancel our powers out?” Raph figured.

“Is that even possible?” April asked.

“Why would they do that? Are they afraid of mystic energy?” Leo wondered.

“Why wouldn't they be?” Donnie suggested. “Magic is incredibly dangerous. The government sees the Hidden City as a huge potential threat. And if there's conflict between yokai and humans-”

“They want to come out on top,” Raph finished. “Getting ready for a fight that may not even happen; cowards.”

Leo noticed Donnie shift uncomfortably, but didn't say anything.

“That might be presumptuous, but I also would not be surprised,” Splinter sighed. He turned to April. “I know you were curious to find that dangerous chemical, but after everything that has happened, perhaps you should pause your investigation.”

“What?! No way!” April protested immediately.

“You can't even walk, Apes,” Raph pointed out.

“I can get around if I need to,” she insisted. “And there are other ways to find out what the EPF is doing besides breaking and entering.”

“We don't even know if they have the herbicide, Boringson may not have been involved with them at all,” Donnie pointed out.

“You think it was a coincidence?” April asked with disbelief.

“Hold on there guys,” Raph interrupted. “What's the EPF?”

“The so-called Earth Protection Force,” Donnie explained. “The government agency that is using the facility.”

“Their logo was plastered all over the building, don't you remember?” April asked Raph.

Raph looked confused. He clearly did not. “Thought Mikey said they were the Men in Black.”

“Ah yes, my bad, I forgot to consult the goober dying from blood loss,” Donnie rolled his eyes. Leo kicked him. “Ow!”

“Well, regardless of if they know anything about the herbicide, we should probably do something about the fact that they are, I dunno, keeping and torturing a live alien species?!” April asked. “We should stop them!”

“You mean the killer alien that wants us all dead? You want to help her???” Donnie asked.

April crossed her arms. “I don't think she deserves what's happening to her now. You didn't see it but…”

“It was messed up,” Leo finished. “I don't like it, but I think April's right. The problem is, I don't know what we could do about it.”

“We take the pictures I got and publish them, get the public to see what's happening.” April explained. “Then, when my ankle's okay again I'll find out what Aderman was up to. And from what Splints was saying, she's probably not going to be getting up to much of anything, maybe… ever.” she looked over at Leo.

“That wasn't my idea!” Leo jumped, panicked. “That was all Casey!” Donnie gave him a curious look, Raph looked down at the floor.

“What was Casey's idea?” Donnie asked, confused.

“You didn't see her?” Leo asked his brother. “She was like… shit, dad… we left her die!” He looked over at his father with horror.

Splinter narrowed his eyes thoughtfully, as if he were trying to remember what had happened.

“She wasn't there when we left, Blue.”

“What?” Leo looked over to his twin. “You didn't see her?”

Donnie shook his head. “It was just you three when I woke up.”

That… couldn't be right.

“There's no way she just got up and walked away,” Leo argued. “You should have seen her, her legs were… Casey…”

Leo felt like he was going to be sick.

“We were going to kill her.”

…

Leo had a hard time looking up at his family. It had never really been something they had had to consider. Casey hadn't considered it at all. In fact, the more Leo thought about it, the more it made sense. Casey grew up in a world where everything was always trying to kill him. And to his credit, Aderman was trying to kill them.

Leo pulled his legs up to his chest and looked over at his dad again.

“You all need rest,” Splinter sighed, crossing his arms under his robe. “Especially me! You’ve all given me enough to worry about in one night for the rest of my life! We can talk about it more tomorrow.”

Leo frowned. “Shouldn't we be talking about this now? Casey butchered that woman, and if he hadn't… I was gonna… I did-”

“What do you want me to tell you, Leonardo?” Splinter asked, raising a scraggly brow. “You protected your family.”

“Did I?” Leo asked. “I didn't do shit! Casey saved himself!”

“You saved your brother.”

“Not for long! We'd have been fucking dead without Case, and I… I don't…”

Leo didn't want to say it out loud, but he was pissed at Casey. He had done the right thing, and Leo hated that. When Leo was useless, Casey picked up the slack. And now, Casey was gone.

Leo was supposed to be the leader, and he couldn't even keep his team together. He should have never split the team up.

“Pops is right, Leo; we should sleep on it,” Raph told him gently.

“Sleep on it? On this?! On Casey just fucking leaving us? On THIS whole situation??” Leo gestured to Mikey. “There's no way I can just-”

“Enough!” Splinter interrupted him. “Mind your voice, Blue. People are resting here!” Splinter turned to his oldest son.

“Red, take your brothers home. I will stay with Orange.”

“Are you sure pops? I can stay with him…”

Splinter shook his head. “You've all been through so much, and you're too noisy! Go home!”

“But Dad-” Leo tried to cut in, but the glare from the rat man shut him up immediately.

April pushed herself up carefully from her chair and onto her crutches. “We're gonna be okay, Leo. Well, at least until my mom sees me.”

“I'm surprised she still lets you hang out with us, really,” Donnie shrugged.

“Yeah… well… there is a reason you met her after I moved out.”

The discussion of the many things Carol O'Neil would have to say to April continued as Leo portalled everyone home.

-

An hour later, the turtles were settled back home in Donnie’s lab. Despite their father’s best wishes, nobody was ready to sleep yet, and Donnie wanted to see what he could do about Casey’s shattered face mask.

“What did she have to say?” Donnie asked April on his phone after she had been dropped off.

“The usual, ya know? ‘You should always stretch before you fight supervillains! You forgot to share your location with me again!’ I really do try to remember. I need to be better at that,” April sighed, sounding very tired.

“I could send her my tracking data,” Donnie offered.

“That might be a good idea,” April admitted. “She will call you if you go somewhere suspicious though, I can't be held responsible for anything she says to you.”

“Yeah… I didn't mean my-” but Donnie was cut off by Raph.

“Guys, it’s late, and we still have a lot of shit to cover before we go to bed, can we bench this for now?”

“What do we still have to go over?” Donnie asked genuinely.

“Oh I don’t know,” Raph rolled his eyes. “Maybe the fact that Casey tried to kill somebody!”

“In self defense,” Donnie scoffed. “Can you blame him?”

“Yes I can blame him! He didn’t need to do that!” Raph snapped back.

“You weren’t even there!”

“You weren’t even awake!”

The both of them turned to Leo expectantly. He was really hoping they wouldn’t do that.

“Me? I don’t… I don’t know… he did what he had to, I guess…” Leo supposed, sinking down into Donnie’s futon. “But he only had to because I couldn’t beat her. So really, it’s my fault. I’m sorry, Raph.”

Raph’s expression softened. “It’s not your fault buddy, you did the best you could.”

“But now he’s gone! He wouldn’t have gotten hurt or had to leave if it hadn’t been for me!”

Raph scratched his head. “Yeah, I wanted to talk about that too. You said he was taken to the Nexus right?”

Leo nodded.

“I was actually, uh… plannin’ on going on a walk around there… uh… tomorrow.”

“That’s not vague or suspicious at all, Raphala,” Donnie crossed his arms. The snapper chuckled.

“Heheh, yeah. Well, you see… I’ve been doin’ some investigatin’ of my own,” he admitted, looking a little flustered. “While you guys have been at school ‘n stuff.”

“Your own investigation? Have you like, started a detective agency or something?” Leo asked sarcastically.

“Maybe?” Raph answered, tucking his head into his shell as far as it would allow (which wasn’t all that much, to be honest).

“What do you mean, maybe?” Donnie asked, leaning in and raising a magnifying glass from his workbench to peer at his massive brother. Raph leaned away from the scrutiny.

“Well, Casey and I have been lookin’ into some missing persons cases around town, lately.”

“Instead of him going to school?” Leo asked, confused.

“No no! Uh, Cassandra,” Raph clarified. Leo squinted at him, and couldn’t help but notice his face was a little… flushed? “It was her idea. She’s been obsessed with mystery novels recently, and decided to become a P.I.”

“A private investigator?!” Donnie exclaimed. “That’s so cool! Why didn’t you tell me, I could be her guy in the chair, outfit her with secret agent gadgets?!”

“It’s uh, it’s just a little thing she’s working on,” Raph explained nervously. “She’s been trying to find herself and all that, you know? She just occasionally asks for my help.”

“And so she’s asked you to go into the Hidden City? What’s there?” Leo asked, curious.

“Well, we weren’t exactly sure at first, but there’s been at least three people that have disappeared around the Battle Nexus in the last month. Additionally, a lot of the mutants we’ve had run ins with before have also gone missin’. Usually after somethin’ bad happens to them.”

“Like Repo?” Donnie asked. “His lot’s shut down temporarily.”

“Exactly like Repo,” Raph nodded. “Him, Meatsweats, and Todd have all gone rogue. Meatsweats was running a shady food truck anyway, but Todd’s puppy park is in danger of being shut down too. Somethin’ to do with zoning violations.”

Donnie’s lips puckered. “I may have neglected to check the requirements before we started construction on that.”

Raph nodded. “Anyway, Casey noticed those people disappearin’ round the Nexus, and now you’re telling me Junior has been there the last few days and isn’t sayin’ anything? That’s incredibly suspicious.”

“You think Casey has something to do with this?” Leo asked.

“I’m not saying he is, but if he’s been in the area, chances are he knows somethin’,” Raph figured. “So I’m going out tomorrow to see if there’s any signs of those kids around in the city. It might be a long shot, since it’d be pretty hard to hide humans down there, but I think it’s worth a look.”

“Why not just go to the Nexus and ask Big Mama herself?” Donnie asked.

“Aside from the fact that Casey actively doesn’t want us there?” Leo added.

“I was planning on it, actually,” Raph admitted. “But after everything that’s happened just today, I thought it might be smarter to try a more indirect approach. No offense Donnie, but we don’t need a repeat of last night happening so quickly.”

“None taken,” the soft shell assured him confidently.

“I want to go with you,” Leo told Raph, straightening up. “I need to find out what’s going on with Casey.”

“You have school tomorrow, I was going in the morning.”

“I don’t need to go to class,” Leo lied. “I can miss a day and be fine.”

“How about we reschedule? You can come with me in the afternoon?”

“And sit in class all day wondering if Casey’s okay? No way!”

“I’m not even looking for Casey!” Raph argued. “I said they might be related. If you want to go after him, go on your own.”

Leo grumbled and crossed his arms.

“He said he’d come back, remember?” Donnie offered, putting a hand on Leo’s shoulder.

“He did,” Leo mumbled. But that didn’t mean he had to believe it.

Breach of Contract

Casey was led straight into Big Mama's office.

“There he is!” Mama sighed as Synth pushed him to stand in front of her desk. She drummed her nails impatiently on its reflective surface. Casey winced in annoyance at the sound, but she didn't notice.

“Where on earth have you been?”

Casey looked down at the carpet and clumsily wiped his tears away.

“Don't look down!” she snapped. “Look at me!” Casey flinched, but complied, blinking repeatedly in a failed attempt at keeping back fresh tears.

Deep breaths. 1… 2… 3…

“Where were you?” she asked again, squinting her eyes. The question came not from a place of concern, but as an accusation. He focused on the frames of her delicate glasses, avoiding eye contact as best he could.

“I was… was… in the hospital,” he choked.

“Why weren't you here?” she hissed.

“I was knocked out. If I could have, I… I would have been here-”

“But you weren't!” Big Mama snapped. “Why were you knocked out? What happened to your himbly head?”

Casey squeezed his eyes shut.

“Nah ah ah! Eyes on me,” she insisted.

He felt like he was about to fall over. He spread his feet and bent his knees slightly to steady himself.

“I… could you repeat that?”

“Why were you at the EPF laboratory?” she hissed.

He tried to slow his breathing. “Uh… Donnie was… he was taken there. We were trying to break him out-.”

“And you got more than you bargained for, hm?”

“Yes,” he said simply instead of nodding.

“Stupid.”

“Stupid?”

“It's only been four days, foozle! And you've already breached your contract! You put yourself and my entire operation at risk! If you meant to keep your appointments as seriously as you should have, you would have not put yourself in such a hasslydoo in the first place.”

He should have never gone? Casey looked down at the floor, perplexed. It hadn’t occurred to him to not go save Donnie. He had to… right? Even if it had ended up hurting himself…

It had hurt him so much. Now he was trapped here. Yeah, this was Donnie’s fault. He should have never ran off alone in the first place.

“What… what happens now?” he asked quietly.

She stretched out an upturned hand, expecting him to know the answer. He did. Casey felt like his spirit might just leave his body. To be stuck as a turtle again on top of all this was the last thing he wanted. He looked down at his ankle, and realized he couldn't make himself bend over.

“I can't reach it,” he whimpered. If he moved his head too much, he knew he was going to fall over.

“Yes, you can,” she insisted wickedly.

Casey took another deep breath. He wanted to curl up into a ball and die. (How he'd get there, he wasn't sure.) Instead, he kneeled, keeping his head as upright and still as possible. Of course, he stumbled and, losing his balance, tripped over his own feet and fell onto the carpet. He yelped as the pain in his head followed. Synth took a step away, and he could hear the spider woman's irritation as she clicked her tongue.

“Hurry up!”

He fumbled to sit up as stars danced across his vision. He clawed at his leg, his heart racing as he fought back more tears. It took too long, but eventually he got his trembling fingers around to untie the knot, and he shook even more as he felt his center of gravity shift. Without standing up, he slapped the ribbon onto Big Mama's desk, where he heard her snatch it up right away.

“Up on your feet!” she ordered.

It took him entirely too long to stand; he had to use her desk for support. And even when he was up, he still felt so dizzy that he continued to grip onto it for dear life.

Big Mama snapped her fingers, and Casey reluctantly looked up.

“I'm extremely disappointed in you,” she told him quietly, as if he cared about that at all. “I was really thinking things would go smoother than this. You seemed so determined…” she sighed. “Unfortunately, there are consequences for our actions, are there not?”

When he didn't answer, she snapped her finger again.

“Answer me!”

“Yes,” he answered through gritted teeth.

“Yes, Mama.”

“Y-yes, Mama.”

“That's better,” she whispered. Casey watched her fingers as she pulled at the ribbon until the fragment of Sunita's brooch was picked up between her two fingers.

“But it's not enough for now,” she sighed. She snapped her fingers a final time, and the fragment shattered into glass dust. Orange mystic light escaped and scattered into the air; the last vestiges of Master Michelangelo's magic dissipating into nothing.

Casey's breathing hitched.

“The box turtle…” she hummed as she watched the last of his glimmers fade. “Interesting.”

Casey swayed precariously enough, but now his knees buckled. In his mind's eye, he was losing his beloved uncle all over again.

“I need your apology, Casey,” Big Mama hissed. “And say it right the first time.”

He couldn't move his hands for fear of falling over, so instead the tears he blinked away were left to fall freely down his face. They dripped onto the lacquered surface he clung to; a surface so reflective he could see his pathetic face for just a moment before meeting her again.

“I'm sorry, Mama.”

“Good boy.” She whispered gleefully, before straightening.

“Now, you're free to go. Obviously, you don't need to see my stinkpot again. However… if you do wish to stay here, I suppose she will still need guidance. And I have so many other odds and ends around here that you can make yourself useful with in the meantime, too. What do you think? Sound like a fair trade? An hour with Stinkpot for a night's stay at the most luxurious hotel in New York City. That's a hell of a deal if I've ever heard one.”

Where else would he go? He couldn't return home like this.

Brain Damage

At the ungodly hour of Casey's arrival, Sunshine was already asleep. Until she was up for the day, Casey was given a room on the same floor as all of Mama's other little projects. If he had thought Sunshine's room was claustrophobic, the atmosphere of his new lodgings was pointedly oppressive. The purples of Sunshine's room were replaced with a heavy maroon that seemed to pull the ceiling and walls as close together as possible. A hydra was mounted over his bed, black scaly necks twisted and reached across the room, their ruby eyes turned to threaten anyone who dared enter.

It reminded him he was being watched constantly. A pair of eyes on the door, on the bed, toward the closet- he had no room to exist in such a cramped and unwelcoming space.

And she wanted him to be thankful. Now that the fear and embarrassment was over, all Casey was left with was resentment. If he weren't in such god awful pain he might've thrown himself at the disgustingly elegant vanity, ripping out drawers and smashing them against the glass window.

And he didn’t forget why he was in this situation in the first place. If Donnie hadn't gotten his ass in trouble, this wouldn't have happened. Casey was starting to see a troubling pattern. Donatello could always have the best intentions, but it always seemed to end up in Casey getting hurt. He was sick of it.

If he tipped the wardrobe down with the doors open he could probably snap them off and break them in half over the remaining assembly. The hydra heads would have to go too of course, he didn't figure they could even support his weight.

It was a violent and childish fantasy, to take his anger out on objects where the source of his problems were all too far out of reach. And he couldn't even act on that.

He was completely and totally helpless.

The only thing he could do was crawl into bed and try to sleep. He didn't even bother to change out of his clothes. They were the only possessions he had brought with him, he realized; a pair of shorts, boots, jersey, and a hoodie. He didn't have his saw, his mask, his phone. God, he hoped the turtles had those. He remembered his mask shattering, and the saw in Aderman's chest…

He hoped that bitch was dead. fuck that bitch was crazy. She had somehow copied both Donnie and Leo’s mystic powers! That was extremely troubling, especially given what he knew about how their powers worked. As far as Master Michelangelo had figured, there were only a few circumstances that someone could use Hamato ninpo.

First and most blatantly obvious, you had to be Hamato. That was the biggest strike against Aderman. As far as he knew, Hamato Yoshi had been the only descendant of the clan. And even if Aderman was somehow distantly related to them (as unlikely as it was), she would have to have a strong relationship with the family to even use those powers.

She didn’t seem to be the type of woman to have close ties to her family. Especially with her particularly villainous outlook on life.

Casey felt his stomach turning into knots. That family connection was the deciding factor. He knew it was why he couldn’t access his own ninpo, even if he knew it was there and had been aware of it for as long as he could remember. He had thought his connection to his sensei and Master Michelangelo would have been enough, but it never really clicked.

And it didn’t click here either, of course, because he couldn’t allow himself to open up to the Hamato clan in the present. He was also fairly sure that if he did open up to them, it would shatter Leo’s connection to his ninpo again. Because while he had never said it out loud, Casey was fairly sure sensei had permanently damaged his connection to his mystic powers after his fight with Donatello. And if that had never happened, perhaps they’d all still be alive today… er, in the future. Casey wouldn’t even have to be here.

He had once again circled back around to this being Donatello’s fault. The fucker seemed to live rent free in Casey’s head.

He threw himself (as gently but angrily as possible) under the covers, grabbing also his hoodie and pulling the drawstrings in an attempt to block out everything. As he curled up into a fetal position, the only thing comforting him was that at least the fabric still smelled like home.

————-

Notes: Today’s subchapters related to Casey are Pink Floyd songs. I can’t help myself; The Wall and Dark Side of the Moon just start playing in my head when Casey is in pain. It’s a whole fucking MOOD.

Prev. Masterpost Next

[bookwormscififan]

Anything Can Be a Euphemism if Your Head's in the Right Place

Read on AO3!

A/N: @rattyboyisemo sent me an ask to write a sort of alternate fic to the docking one, but with the concept of 'creampie'.

--

Mare sighed before swinging his legs onto the couch, smirking when his feet landed in Phantom’s lap, making his twin huff in annoyance.

“I’m not your boyfriend, you can’t use me as a footrest,” Phantom scoffed, pushing Mare’s legs off his lap and returning to his work. “Where is Mad, anyway? Has he been swallowed up in his work again?”

“He’s in the library cataloguing our new books,” Mare answered with a roll of his eyes, turning the page in his book to check the next set of proofs. “It’s a compromise: he can read in the library or organise it, and then I won’t have to drag him out of the lab and his experiments.”

“How do you know he’s not working in there?” Phantom asked, crossing his arms as he leaned back in the couch. “He could be checking the books for research on the experiments, or even—”

“I want a cream pie,” Mad stated as he strolled down the hall and reached for the house keys, pausing as a dead silence fell over the area. “Is… everything alright?”

“Come here, sweetheart,” Mare said in answer, throat suddenly very dry. “Come-come here and rephrase that statement.” Setting his paperwork aside, Mare held his arm out for Mad, holding him close when he climbed into Mare’s lap.

“You know those dessert pies at the diner down the road?” Mad asked, leaning into Mare’s chest as if it was a natural thing to do. “The ones with the sweetened pastry and the custard-cream filling? I was organising the books in the library when I suddenly really wanted one. So, I want to go out and get one.”

“God, Mare, how are you not worried about your nerd when he says things like that?” Phantom groaned, throwing his head back against the couch before looking at Mad again. “You want a pie filled with cream, and that’s the only way you know how to describe it?” Mad furrowed his brow for a moment, tilting his head before his eyes widened, face going red as he turned to look at Mare.

“Does ‘cream pie’ also count as a euphemism for something?” He asked, cheeks flushing darker when Mare nodded with closed eyes, leaning forward to rest their foreheads together. “Should I ask what it means?”

“I’d be happy to tell you all about it—”

“Phan, shut up.” Mare’s voice was low, forehead still pressed to Mad’s with his eyes closed, and his arm around Mad’s waist squeezed him just a little tighter as he took deep breaths. “Don’t be a jerk. I will not have you changing Mad’s perception of the world to make him think the way we do.”

“Mare,” Mad whispered, pulling away enough to duck down and meet Mare’s eyes, hand going to his cheek and brushing the skin just under his eyes. “Can you let me go so I can go buy a pie?” He gave a small chuckle when Mare sighed, then swept in and gave him a kiss before climbing off his lap and heading out the door.

“His obliviousness gets you going, doesn’t it?” Phantom asked after the front door closed, voice heavy with teasing. “You like when he doesn’t know sex things, because then you can take pride in teaching them to him. But then why—”

“Because he hates the texture of whipped cream, or heavy cream, or even full dairy ice cream,” Mare interrupted, hands balled into fists on the tops of his thighs. “Pastry creams and custard creams are textures he really likes, and if you tell him the meaning of cream pie then he’s never going to have those desserts again.”

Phantom was about to respond when the front door opened, the clattering of boots against the wall a sign that Jackie had come in. There was a sturdy piece of timber behind the plaster of the wall where Jackie always kicked his boots, something Mare had put up after getting sick of patching up the wall.

“I feel like I’ve just walked in on something bad,” Jackie observed, walking slowly into the living room and tugging at his gloves. “Should I go sit in the library for about… twenty minutes?”

“Jackie, I have a question for you,” Phantom began, adopting a casual tone as he draped his arm over the back of the couch. “If I were to tell you I wanted a cream pie, what would your thought be?” He held a hand up when Mare started to protest, giving Jackie an inviting smile.

“Well, I’d probably think you’re talking about those pies that people smack into other people’s faces,” Jackie started, raising an eyebrow in confusion. “What does this have to do with the feeling that you and Mare are fighting?”

Instead on answering properly, Phantom pulled Jackie into his lap and leaned close to his ear, whispering to him before nipping at the lobe, pulling away with a smirk when Jackie blushed. “Mare doesn’t want Mad to know about that, because he doesn’t want to ruin Mad’s mind,” he said aloud, hands finding their place on Jackie’s hips and pulling him close so his back was flush against his chest.

“That’s not the whole reason,” Mare spat, pulling his legs up to sit cross-legged on the couch. “I just don’t want you to tell him. You’re incredibly blunt, and you’ll overwhelm him. I’ll tell him later, after you’ve gone home.”

“I’m back!” Mad called as he closed the front door. “Is Jackie here? I can see his boots in the entry. Did he need something?” He walked into the living room, pausing when he saw Jackie in Phantom’s lap with Phantom’s hands in his front jeans pockets, and the twins glaring at each other.

“What’s in the bag?” Jackie asked, nodding at the paper bag in Mad’s hands. Mad blinked a couple times before looking at his hands, then held the bag out toward the men on the couch with a tilted head.

“I brought home some of the cream pies,” he stated, frowning when Phantom and Jackie suddenly disappeared, leaving him alone with Mare. “Did I mess up again?” he asked, putting the bag onto the kitchen counter before stepping into Mare’s open arms.

“No, love,” Mare whispered, holding Mad tight and kissing the top of his head. “No, you didn’t mess up. Come with me, do you still want to know how cream pie can be a euphemism?” When Mad nodded against his chest, Mare gently guided him down the hall to the bedroom, ready to teach him something new.

----------------------------

@iamvegorott @brokentimewatch @dungeon-dragons-dragons

[ajcgames]

In the weeds

I’m deep in the throes of optimisation at the moment, with a lot of asset reworking to fix some earlier mistakes I made.

One of the primary optimisations I wanted to make, along with a sort of high level ‘design review’, was the way I had been creating assets for my models. Many of the machines (and belt parts) share similar design elements. Some varied a little more than I wanted, but crucially they were all using their own materials.

I’ve since condensed all of the main buildable design elements into a single ‘super texture’ material that is used by all placeable models. I may run into some limitations with this down the road, but if it’s simply a case of rolling an additional material then that’s hardly a big concern. It certainly makes managing object materials super easy now compared to the old way I was doing things.

Tech tree

Whilst I’ve been tinkering with the assets, I’ve also been thinking more about the technology tree.

Generally you’ll start each campaign mission (and free play mode) with a core selection of unlocked buildable objects. Most likely an excavator, pulverizer, analyzer and mainframe.

These represent the minimum objects needed to generate science. The purpose of science points, ultimately, was to unlock new buildable objects. But after some though, I figured I’d need a way to allow the player to improve existing aspects of the factory.

By means of a happy accident, I ended up making all machines use a default multiplier for their work speed. That is, machines tend to process their work thus:

Progress += workSpeed * multiplier

By default every machine has a speed of 1, and a set work duration. The pulverizer takes 2 seconds per sample, for example. So it’s easy to raise the multiplier to something like 2 to halve the time it takes to do its job.

The change

So how does this play into the tech tree?

I want to split the research and development side of the game into two parts:

- Technology

- Research

Technology

This will be where you can spend science points to purchase (unlock) new ‘blueprints’. They’ll follow a logical path, so you can expect to see differences in obtaining new types of raw processing machines versus higher-grade analyzer machines, which will be further down the tree and require more points / prior unlocks.

Research

I’m cribbing an idea from an earlier game prototype I had for this. But in a nutshell, you allocate a certain ‘budget’ of science points to spend on research. A non-zero budget will accrue research time over a period of, say, 5 minutes. Once enough research has been complete, you earn a research point. You can spend these to immediately update machines across your entire factory. So one point might improve your Pulverizer speed by 120%.

My rationale for this is that I want there to be at least a couple of paths the player can pursue to improve their factory. Technology is a requirement, whereas Research is a ‘nice to have’. But you can slow down your Technology acquisition pace to gain factory upgrades quicker, and vice-versa.

It’s not exactly groundbreaking or innovating, but at least adds an additional layer of interest, and provides some nice incremental rewards for the player’s efforts in collecting science.

Game modes

The last thing I wanted to talk about today are the game modes. Up until now, I’ve been working on the mechanics to support a campaign-style game where you are apportioned out various tasks and objectives to fulfill on a given campaign level. A kind of puzzle, if you will.

But the real meat would likely be in a free play mode where, instead of tasks, you can take on contracts to produce a certain amount of item. I’m not sure how much work this would need to create, especially to make it compelling and non-grindy, but it’s on my radar if nothing else.

There will also be a creative mode, if for no other reason than to allow me to create some nice screengrabs for sending round if it takes my fancy 😊

That’s about all for today. I’m hoping I’ll finish off my optimisations work in the coming days, and I can get back to sharing more visual progress again.

Thanks for swinging by, and have a great day ❤️

[thenewpred]

I think it’s time I introduce my two main vore ocs: Clover and Lucas. (Warning: I’m pretty bad at drawing so I’ll be using Gac/ha Li/fe 2 for visuals. Sorry their designs kinda suck lol)

This’ll be a lot of information at once, so prepare yourself.

Let’s start with how they were created. Even though I identify as a pred, ever since my early childhood, I’ve had nightmares about being swallowed whole by scary monsters, usually carnivorous dinosaurs or giant snakes. The nightmare I had a few weeks ago (the nightmare that resulted in their creation) was similar, but ended very differently. Usually I would wake up the moment I get eaten, but not that time. No matter how hard I tried, I could not wake up. I had no choice but to stay in that monster’s stomach until I woke up on my own. I could hear its voice, muffled through the stomach walls, talking to other monsters, bragging about its catch. There are a lot of events that happened after that, but I don’t wanna spoil it cause I’m planning on writing a story about this and eventually posting it here, so let’s skip to when I woke up. I couldn’t stop thinking about that dream, so I sorta continued it through daydreaming. I gave them names and deeper personalities, I gave them friends and enemies, I gave them romance. I gave them life.

Now that their origins have been established, let’s move on to actual introductions, starting with Clover. Clover is my preysona. They’re 19 years old, like me. They’re basically a more angry, tired, and gremlin-like version of me. They have a hardened exterior and don’t like letting others in, so they come off as cold and uncaring, when their true self is quite the opposite. They’re almost always seen wearing a hoodie. Even though they’re a mere 5’4”, they can still defend themself (when they’re not paralyzed with fear, which doesn’t happen often but still). They will bite.

Now let’s move on to Lucas. Lucas is the monster that ate me in my dream. He’s 19 as well. He looks very similar to Slen.derm.an, except he has four arms, no tentacles, no clothes (in the beginning; I gave him clothes later on), and a mouth filled with shark-like teeth. He’s 7’10” tall. He’s a major people-pleaser and will literally become a doormat if it means keeping others happy. Unlike his friends, he does not like digesting humans, and stopped digesting them altogether after meeting Clover. He’s beginning to suspect that his friends may not be true friends. He can fit up to 5 adult humans in his stomach at once (he learned this after an awful prank done by his friends), but if he still wants to be able to walk afterward, then 2 is the limit. Due to having four arms, he can’t wear shirts with sleeves, which sucks cause he gets cold easily. He also hates shoes and can only wear certain clothes cause he has a thing about textures. He also has a human form that he can transform into at any time. He can also transform certain parts of his body at will (for example, monster body with human head). I will make a post about his human form in the near future… once I design it.

I think that’s it. The story I’m writing about them is called “A Nightmarish Beginning”. The draft of part 1 is currently sitting in my notes app, so it should be posted sometime soon. I’d be glad to answer any questions about these two that you may have. Thanks for reading this far!