#I’m gunna spend the rest of my life loving her

[call-me-maggie13]

That episode (S1:E39) of Bluey where Muffin misses her nap reminds me of the time my girlfriend and I got trashed and spent most the night trying to control each other’s worst impulses

[badassbuchanan]

No Goodbye

Part 2 Part 3

Plot: Bucky’s left to pick up the pieces of a broken heart

Warnings: you will cry, angst, this is very very sad, sweet Bucky

Word Count: 4295

A/N: decided to branch out and do a non-smut angsty fic - it’s my first one please be nice 💕

“Bucky?” Y/N’s voice whispered worriedly as she watched the small team walk back through the compound with their heads hung low. The long haired super soldier looked over at her with saddened eyes, his heart sinking when he saw the hopefully look on her face. 

Y/N’s hearted thudded against her chest, her bottom lip quivering as she watched the team look at her sympathetically. “Bucky, where’s Steve?” Worst case scenarios fled through her mind as she noticed the heartbreak in Bucky’s eyes, she’d never seen her boyfriend’s best friend look so sad.

Bucky’s eyes closed for a moment too long, the raw emotion in her voice breaking his heart. He felt tears begin welling up in his eyes, knowing he had to be the one to break the news. He let out a deep sigh, trying to steady his breathing and keep his sadness at bay as he braved a glance over at Y/N. 

“Steve’s gone, Y/N.” Bucky mumbled, hearing a whimper of pain leave the girl’s lips as she broke down in front of him. Her hands flew up to cover her mouth, loud sobs filling the room as Bucky flinched in weakness, he couldn’t stand to see her like this. “He’s not coming back, Doll.” He was still trying to process the fact himself, saying it out loud only made it that much more real.

“No,” She shook her head in denial, tears streaming down her face as Bucky let his head fall back to conceal his tears. He started walking towards her, only knowing too well how hard it was to lose Steve. “No, Bucky, he promised.” 

“I know,” Bucky blew out shakily as he tugged her almost lifeless body towards him, wrapping his arms around her tightly as she sobbed against his chest. He sighed solemnly when he felt her hands clinging to the material of his t-shirt, her tears soaking through the thin material and onto his chest. “I know, Doll.”

Bucky knew more than anyone how it felt to have a promise broken by Steve. Bucky had just had to say goodbye to his childhood best friend, but Y/N had just lost the love of her life. 

She’d fallen for Steve the first day she met him. He was like a prince in a world full of frogs. She didn’t know if it was a forties thing, or a Steve thing, but he was everything she’d ever dreamed of. Steve loved Y/N just as much, she was his little piece of light in a cruel world. She reminded him of what was important and made him feel like part of him was still normal.

Shhh.” Bucky soothed her quietly, squeezing his eyes shut tightly as he rested his chin against the top of her head. Her head began to spin, trying to process what was happening as she cried helplessly against Bucky’s chest. “It’s gunna be okay.” Bucky breathed out shakily, repeating the words that Steve had said to him before he left, hoping it would somehow calm her down. Although right now, he didn’t even believe those words himself.

———

It had been a few weeks, but the days seemed to all blur into one for Y/N. She didn’t leave her room unless it was to run errands, but even then, she avoided everyone. She felt so out of place, like everywhere she was, it was wrong. It didn’t matter if she was making a cup of tea in the kitchen, reading a book in the living room, taking a shower in the bathroom or trying to have a nap on her bed. It all seemed so wrong, like she shouldn’t be doing anything without Steve.

“I don't know who I am anymore, Buck.” She sighed numbly, her mind spaced out in mourning, her eyes damp with tears just as they had been every day before. Bucky was the only person she’d spoken to, and that was only because she knew he needed someone to talk to. Maybe he liked talking to her because she reminded him of Steve.

Bucky’s heart ached as he watched her face, so straight and emotionless. She was so broken, he heard her crying when no one else was around, especially at night. It was as if she was so tired of being in pain that her face was no longer able to show expression. 

“I think if anyone can relate to not knowing who they are, Y/N. It’s me.” He pursed his lips together in a sympathetic smile, leaning his hands against the edge of the mattress from where he sat on her bed. He watched her carelessly fold the clean washing, trying to harden the pain inside her heart. 

“Yeah and who helped you through that, Buck?” She hissed out sadly, angry at herself for still being so helpless and lost after weeks. She hadn’t said Steve’s name since the day she’d found out he’d gone. Bucky had noticed it, but he wasn’t sure if anyone else had. 

Bucky sighed as he tilted his head absentmindedly, he hated Steve for leaving him, but he hated him more for leaving her. A frown crinkled on her forehead as she concentrated on stopping her tears from escaping her eyes, letting out a quiet sniffle as she kept her eyes focused on the washing in front of her.

“God, I just feel so alone.” She sighed in frustration, throwing the pair of shorts she was folding down on the bed. Her eyes closed as she wrapped her arms around herself, a tear trickling down her cheek as she sniffed again. 

“You’re not alone, Doll.” Bucky whispered sadly, trying to be supportive as his eyes softened and he carefully reached his flesh arm out to hold her hand. 

“But I am, Buck.” She pulled away from his hand as soon as she felt it, the action so sudden it made Bucky jump as she took a step away from him. “You’ve got Sam and Sharon.” She gritted her teeth at the mention of the girl that Steve had once kissed, her hands balling up into fists out of frustration. “Pepper’s got Morgan, Clint has his family, Peter’s got May, Fury’s got Maria, T’Challa’s got Shuri. But who do I got?” Her lips trembled as she pressed them together in a hard pout, looking down at the space in front of her. “He was everything I had and now he’s gone.”

Bucky listened silently to her rant, hanging his head as his heart broke at the shakiness of her angry voice. He fiddled with his hands, he knew nothing he could say would make her feel better. All she wanted was Steve. 

“I don't even know why I’m still here.” She mumbled weakly, looking around the room that had once been filled with happy memories. It hurt, everything hurt. Living at the compound was a constant reminder of the life she had once shared with Steve. Her anger faded back to sadness as she closed her eyes tightly, breaking down in silent sobs as she thought about how they’d planned to spend their future together. They’d talked about it a lot. “When all this is over, we’ll move to Brooklyn. We’ll get married, pop out a couple of babies. Oh, and we have to get a dog.” The memory of Steve’s words caused an aching cry to leave her lips, his voice ringing through her mind as she felt her whole body go weak. “I can’t do this anymore.” 

Bucky’s watery eyes widened in panic at her words, his head immediately turning to her as he instinctively reached his arm out towards her again. She was too helpless to pull away this time, letting his strong hand pull her body into his lap as she collapsed against him. 

He was worried about how she was handing the process of grieving, knowing how much it had the power to manipulate thoughts. He didn’t want her doing anything stupid, anything irrational, anything harmful. He’d become so protective over her, knowing that she was the only other person who really understood what it was like losing Steve. Anytime she cried, Bucky was right there holding her.

“I’m sorry.” Bucky sobbed out, unable to control his emotions as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her as tight as he could. Y/N’s arms wrapped around his neck as she cried against him, a position she’d come to know so well. “I’m so sorry.” Bucky felt guilty, like he was the one responsible for Steve not coming back. He was there, he should’ve tried harder, said something to make Steve change his mind.

She whimpered against him, erratically breathing against his chest as she felt her throat closing up. The all too familiar feeling of heartache took over as her hand dropped to his metal arm, clinging to him tightly as she relaxed against his chest. 

Bucky rocked them back and forth lightly, trying to soothe her as he broke down. He rubbed her back with his flesh hand, his head dropping close to hers as he held her close. 

“I didn’t even get to say goodbye.” She sniffed sadly, her eyes puffy and cheeks red from the crying. Her face was lightly stained with red lines from where her tears had fallen, the salty liquid stinging her skin.

Bucky let out the breath he’d been holding in shakily, his heart aching at her words. Their burning cheeks touched as Bucky’s hand came up to massage the back of her head. He felt so responsible for Steve not coming back. “I’m sorry.” 

She stayed there in his arms, his chest rising and falling against her side as she closed her stinging eyes. She inhaled the scent of his cologne, feeling safe in his lap as her heartbeat began to steady itself. 

Bucky noticed the way her head pressed limply further against his bearded cheek, turning his head to face her as his hand cradled the back of her neck. “It’s gunna be okay.” He whispered as a soft smile washed over his reddened face, noticing her falling asleep in his arms.

”Will you stay with me tonight?” She whispered tiredly, her eyes blinking rapidly as she fought the inevitable exhaustion. “Please Buck, I don't want to be alone.”

A selfish wave of relief washed over Bucky as he held her, still processing Steve’s absence himself, he thanked his lucky stars that at least for one night, he wouldn’t have to be alone.

———

Weeks of Steve being gone had turned into months, his absence left a void, an emptiness that was inevitably never going away, both for Bucky and Y/N.

“Y/N?” Bucky’s voice deepened with concern as he threw the car keys in the fruit bowl, being warned of her bad state by F.R.I.D.A.Y as soon as he’d walked in through the front door. “Y/N.” He called out again, picking up his pace as he rushed through the compound to find her. 

“She’s in Mr Roger’s room, Sergeant Barnes.” the AI spoke as Bucky began to panic, his heart sinking as he burst through the door of Cap’s old bedroom. No one had gone in there since he’d left, not even Y/N. 

But that’s where she was, lying on the floor, looking up at the blank ceiling. Bucky sighed with his eyes closed before he walked over to her slowly, aware of her almost unconscious state. 

His heart sped up immediately as he was hit with wave upon wave of memories of his best friend. The smell of the room, the shelves covered with small trinkets that were important to him, his record collection, the framed photo of Y/N and Steve next to his neatly made bed. It was all too overwhelming.

“What did you do, Doll?” He breathed out sadly as he crouched down next to her, his flesh fingers tracing over the empty bottle of asgardian liquor that lay in her limp hand. He carefully took the bottle from her, his eyes looking up at hers, glazed over with dilated pupils.

Y/N kept her head facing the ceiling, only moving her eyes to glance over at him. “I got lost.” She mumbled almost inaudibly, catching a hiccup in her throat as her eyes closed. 

How could she tell Bucky the truth when it was so silly. She’d gone in there to talk to him. No, she wasn’t crazy, she knew he wasn’t going to be there. She thought she would find comfort in being around his belongings, that it would make her feel connected to him. But it didn’t work.

Bucky sighed, letting his fingers intertwine with hers as he held her hand. His thumb rubbed over her skin soothingly as he bit the inside of his lip, the helpless feeling inside of him was starting to become permanent. He desperately wanted to help her, to make everything okay. But there was nothing he could do except be there for her.

“I wasn't good enough for him.” Her words made Bucky’s heart ache with sadness, his eyes closing as he squeezed her hand a little tighter. “Maybe if I was better, he would've stay-” 

“Don’t say that.” Bucky shook his head, his voice cracking a little. Y/N was the most beautiful, funny, talented girl he’d ever met. The more time he spent with her, the more he realised that. It hurt him to hear her say that she wasn’t good enough, that she had convinced herself that was the reason Steve had left. Bucky cursed Steve in his head, frustrated with what his decision to leave had done to her.

Y/N blamed herself for Steve not coming back. She hated herself for not being a good enough reason for him to stay. She sat up most nights trying to figure out exactly what it was that made him decide to go, but she couldn’t understand it.

"I thought he loved me.” Bucky felt the tears streaming down his face as he squeezed his eyes shut tightly. It physically pained him to hear how much she was hurting, the constant torment going on inside of her mind. How lost she felt, how deep Steve’s leaving had cut her up inside.

“He did, Y/N. He still does.” Bucky’s words spluttered out between sniffs. The alcohol was helping to numb Y/N’s pain, her tears silently rolling down her cheeks instead of her usual aching whimpers and heavy breathing. 

“He didn’t even say goodbye.” She mumbled painfully, her wording changing from the perspective she’d had a few weeks ago. Her sleepless nights had given her more than enough time to think, and she’d come to the conclusion that Steve knew what his plan was, so he had the chance to say goodbye, to be upfront and tell her, but he didn’t. Why? The most obvious answer in Y/N’s mind was because he didn’t care, not about her anyway. “Don’t sit there and tell me you do that to someone you love.”

Bucky stayed silent for a moment, pondering in his own thoughts as Y/N went back to staring at the ceiling. At some point since he’d left, Bucky had questioned continuing to defend his best friend. Bucky had watched what Steve’s decisions had done to Y/N, what his actions were still doing to her and in Bucky’s eyes, nothing on earth was worth causing her this much sadness. 

“C’mon, Doll. You’re tired, I know. Let me take you to bed.” He whispered through his heavy breathing as he scooped her up, lifting her body effortlessly as he cradled her in his arms. Y/N didn’t object, nuzzling her face into his chest as her arms wrapped around Bucky’s neck.

Bucky going go bed with Y/N had become routine most nights since the first time she’d asked him to stay with her, they both enjoyed the company and knew neither of them expected anything more than a warm body to hold.

He carried her down the hall until they reached her room, laying her carefully on the bed once they were inside. He pushed the loose hair away from her face, rubbing his thumb lovingly over her cheek as he admired her. 

“I’m just getting you some comfy clothes, I’ll be right back.” Bucky whispered as he leaned over her, pressing a gentle kiss on her forehead. She nodded softly, not taking her eyes off of him as he she watched him move around the room. 

Y/N was beyond grateful for Bucky, he’d been by her side the whole time. Whenever she needed him, he was right there. She felt guilty for lashing out at him sometimes, when all he’d ever done was shower her with love and patience. She wondered if he’d had time himself to process Steve leaving, or if he was suppressing his emotions in order to support her. Either way, Bucky had always made sure that she never felt completely alone, he took pride in looking after her, sometimes it was the only distraction from his destructive thoughts.

“Here you go.” He hummed sweetly, sliding his hand under her back to lift her torso up from the mattress. She sat up obediently as Bucky’s hand let go of her, turning around so that she could get changed privately. 

She smiled shyly at his gentlemanly ways, somewhat reminded of the way Steve was. She looked down at her body as she pulled her shirt over her head, maybe if she looked like a supermodel, Steve would’ve stayed. 

She blinked rapidly to contain her tears, her lips dropping into a pout as she quickly changed into the clothes Bucky had set out for her. A sudden wave of self consciousness hit her as she turned her body to face away from Bucky, laying back down on the bed to hide her body under the covers.

“It’s okay if you want to leave, Buck. I understand.” Her voice came out as a whimper, her eyes dropping to look down at the mattress as she heard Bucky turn back around to face her. 

He sighed sadly as he looked down at her curled up alone on the bed, wishing she knew that he needed her as much as she needed him. He knew after tonight that she was blaming herself for Steve leaving, forcing herself to feel unworthy and unloved. 

“Hey,” Bucky called out to her softly, pulling back his side of the blanket as he slid in beside her. He gently rotated her body to face him, her eyes avoiding his as he pulled her against his chest. “I’m not going anywhere. I pro-” 

“Don’t.” She cut him off, shaking her head as she slid her arms up around his neck. “Don’t make any promises.” Her heartbeat quickened as the sadness engulfed her. “Please.”

Y/N woke up the next morning in a dream like daze, feeling strong arms wrapped tightly around her, her cheek pressed against a warm chest rising and falling in a slow rhythm.

“Steve?” She whispered out sweetly, it was the first moment of peace she’d had in months. Then reality came crashing down on her, remembering Steve was gone. Bucky heard her say it, it was the first time she’d said Steve’s name since he left, his whole body froze as his heart ached sympathetically for her. 

Y/N sighed sadly, pressing her face further into Bucky’s chest as she began uncontrollably sobbing. Wave upon wave of misery flooded her body as Bucky rubbed her back under the thin material of her t-shirt, trying his best to soothe her. 

“Shhhh,” Bucky whispered gently, his metal hand playing with the back of her hair as he held her close. “It’s gunna be okay.”

Bucky had repeated Steve’s words to her almost every day, not that she knew they were Steve’s words, but he didn’t know if he was saying them to comfort her or himself. Either way, as time went on, it was getting harder to believe that it was going to be okay.

———

Y/N had taken a nap for the first time in almost six months. She’d woken up to an empty bed, an unusual occurrence, especially since Bucky had been wrapped up in her arms when she’d fallen asleep.

They’d grown so close since Steve had left, their friendship had blossomed into an unbreakable bond, a deep connection that no one could explain. They understood each other on a level of complexity that formed so rarely it was unheard of. They relied on each other.

She padded softly down the hallway, heading towards the sound of Bucky’s voice coming from the common area. She slowed her steps, gliding her palm along the cold wall as she caught part of his conversation.

“No, I can’t do this anymore.” Bucky hissed to whoever was on the other end of the phone, his voice agitated yet quiet, as if he didn’t want to be heard. “I’ve made up my mind. I’m leaving.”

Y/N’s heart sunk deep into her chest, her head spinning in disbelief as she moved into view of the doorway just in time to see Bucky hang up the phone.

“Bucky?” She whimpered sadly, her chest heaving as it tightened around her heart, her eyes widened innocently as her bottom lip quivered. “You’re leaving?”

Bucky looked up at where she was standing, his eyebrows arching in panic as he realised what she’d walked into. “Y/N.” He started deeply, a lump forming in his throat as he watched her react. “I can explain.”

She shook her head rapidly as she squeezed her eyes shut, a bubbling sense of betrayal and anger erupted in her body. “You’re just the same as he is!” She yelled as she felt tears welling up in her eyes, turning to run back to her room as she thought about going through the process of losing someone again. She couldn’t take it.

She slammed the door behind her, bursting into tears as she paced around her room, slightly hyperventilating as the fear overwhelmed her.

“Y/N,” Bucky burst through her bedroom door, shutting it loudly behind him without a care as he walked over to her. “Calm down.”

She shook her head as Bucky grabbed her by her upper arms, forcing her to stop pacing as she hung her head to avoid his eye contact. “Were you even going to tell me?”

“Stop.” Bucky’s voice hardened as he tried to get her to listen, his eyes softening with worry as his heart raced.

“Or were you just going to leave without saying goodbye?” She disobeyed his command, her anger turning into sadness as she looked up into his gorgeous blue eyes.

“Listen to me,” He spoke softly, gripping onto her arms tightly as his thumbs rubbed over of skin. She looked away from his eyes, her eyebrows arching in sadness as she anticipated what he was going to say. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I can’t lose you too, Bucky. I can’t.” She panicked as she thought about losing Bucky the same way she’d lost Steve. She wanted to believe him, but how could she possibly know if he was telling the truth? Her lips stayed in a pout, her eyes glued to the right of his body.

Bucky sighed in frustration, his heart broke knowing she didn’t believe him. “Look at me!” He spoke loudly, shaking her arms a little as her glossy eyes finally met his. “I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

Y/N lifted her hands to hold onto the material of his shirt over his stomach, holding him close as if it would keep him there forever. “I heard you on the phone, Buck.”

“Yeah, I know.” Bucky smiled softly, slightly relieved that she was listening to him now as he admired her face. His flesh hand moved up to cup her cheek, rubbing her temple with his thumb. “You heard me telling Fury that I’m leaving, as in leaving the team, not leaving you.” He shook his head, his eyebrows arching as a sympathetic look covered his face.

Her eyes looked up at him with a soft sparkle that he hadn’t seen in a long time, he let out a shaky breath, his eyes softening as he smiled down at her. “You’re really not leaving?”

He shook his head as he watched her sigh in relief, his arms wrapping around her to hold her close. “I’m not going anywhere, doll.”

“Trust me, Y/N.” Bucky whispered as he admired her face, his thumb rubbing across her cheek soothingly. “It’s gunna be okay.” Something about the way Steve said those words made it sounds true, but when Bucky heard himself say it, it was hard for him to believe.

———

“What the hell am I supposed to tell Y/N?” Bucky looked over at his oldest friend, his eyes saddened with stress and responsibility. “She’s gunna ask questions, Steve.”

“Tell her I’ve left. That I’m not coming back.” Steve instructed the long haired super-soldier, sadly running his hand through his blonde hair.

“And you think she’s just gunna accept that?” Bucky shook his head as he kicked a pebble next to his foot absentmindedly. He looked back up at Cap, trying to make him understand. “She loves you, Steve.”

“Bucky, you know I have to do this.” Steve pressed his lips together as he looked sympathetically over at Bucky. His decision wasn’t an easy one, and his best friend trying to change his mind was only making it harder. “I’m leaving her with my best pal.”

Steve grabbed Bucky’s shoulder reassuringly, witnessing the distress on his face, what Steve was asking him to do was huge. “It’s gunna be okay, Buck.”

Bucky sighed, trusting that Steve knew what was best as he wrapped his arms around his friend to say goodbye. “No matter what happens, she can never find out the truth, Buck.”

tag list:

@harrysthiccthighss

@annestine

@bestofbucky

@be-patient-be-good

@nothing0is4here

@velvetcardiganbucky

@sexwithhiddlesbatch

@codyl-angdon​

[yespleasetommyshelby]

Chicago fire imagine Herrmann + Daughter reader imagine for - @jayxuptons

Laying in a hospital bed is not the way I thought I'd be spending my Friday evening, but hey, that's the life of a firefighter right? Growing up with a fire fighter for a father I knew the dangers that I was going to be up against, the fire, the smoke, half collapsed buildings and heights that would make most peoples heads spin. But being stabbed in the leg by a freaking out meth addict was not even on the top 100 things I was worried about.

I sighed as I rolled my head to the side to see the clock on the wall, hissing as I jolted my leg slightly, a groan leaving my mouth as I realised the doctors had left about 10 minutes ago, which meant that any second now the storm was about to rip its way into my room. Closing my eyes I took a deep breath and replayed the afternoons events in my head.

"Y/N, Otis, you take the basement, Kidd, Mouch, take the ground floor, Herrmann, you're with me up top." Casey began yelling as soon as we pulled up outside of the burning house, a young woman and a small boy sitting over by Ambo staring up at what I'm assuming was their home.

"Any idea what happened cap?" I asked as I followed Casey and the rest towards the smoke spilling door.

"Mum said the place just went up in flames, the dads still in there but she doesn't know where, keep your eyes peeled." He nodded towards me, sending him a quick nod back before we entered the building and went our separate ways.

Carefully feeling our way around through the smoke me and Otis made our way down to the basement, the smoke thickening the further we descended into the dark space.

"Fire department! Call out!" Otis yelled as he led the way, his flashlight only finding dust covered boxes and a plastic Christmas tree sitting in the corner.

"Fire department! Anyone down here?" I yelled, listening to the sounds of the fire crackling above before a small scuffle caught my attention. "Hello? Call out if you can here me!"

Following the sound I slowly rounded a desk that was sat against the wall, I half expected to find some kind of wild animal, a raccoon or a squirrel, what I was not expecting was the burning pain that erupted in my thigh and the knife that was lodged in place.

"Otis!" I screamed as the guy who was hiding behind the desk jumped up pushing me out of the way, causing me to fall to the side smacking my head against the corner of the desk before I landed on the floor with a thud, surrounded by darkness.

By the time I had managed to open my eyes again I was lying in a hospital bed with Jay and Will Halstead by my side. Jay had explained that the guy in the basement was actually the father to the small boy I saw waiting outside when we first arrived at the scene, he'd been using for a few months and the mum was planning on leaving which is why he had set fire to the place, but Otis had caught him and called for backup as soon as he had heard me yell. Leaving Will to explain that other than a scar, an aching leg and a banging headache I would be just fine and ready to return to work in a few weeks.

"Where is she?!" I heard him before I saw him, his voice floating through the ED, the once loud talking of people in the hallway dwindling down to nothing but a murmur.

"Herrmann, calm down, she's fine." I could hear Casey, his voice growing in volume as I assumed they came towards the door.

"Don't tell me to calm down when my daughter is lying in hospital!" His voice louder now as him and Casey came into view through the glass doors.

Leaving Casey with one last hard look he turned and came into the room closing the door behind himself.

"Hi dad." I smiled small, waiting to see a change in his face to reveal just how pissed he was about it all.

"Don't 'hi dad' me." He muttered, shaking his head slightly before flopping down in the chair besides the bed.

"Dad I-"

"No! Do you have any idea how scared I was when I heard Otis through the radio? When I heard that you were stabbed and there was nothing I could do about it?" He said, voice deep and eyes hard like they used to be when I'd done something stupid as a teenager.

"I know but-"

"No! You don't know! You don't know what it's like to have to sit and wait to be told whether or not your daughter is gunna survive after being stabbed by some jacked up asshole?!" He was almost yelling now, little bits of spot flying from his mouth as he tried to keep his temper in check.

"But I do know dad! I know what it's like to be the one sat in the waiting room, waiting to know whether my dad was gunna be coming home at the end of the day! Sitting next to mum, holding her while she cries about how she doesn't know how she'll be able to keep the family going without you! I've sat there hundreds of times with my mind running round in circles because I don't know what the outcome will be!" I started to yell, my voice falling with every word as tears started to slip down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I uh, I didn't think about all the times the table was turned." He sighed sadly, reaching out and taking my hand in his.

"I'm sorry too, I didn't mean to scare you, I mean, I didn't even see the guy till after the knife was in my leg." I breathed a laugh, trying to ease some of the tension.

"Not funny." He deadpanned before a small smile appeared on his face. " I'm sorry I yelled, I was just so scared when I heard what had happened." He said softly, squeezing my hand slightly.

"I'm sorry that I scared you." I offered a small smile.

"I'll let you get some rest, I've gotta call your mum and keep the house updated, Otis has been blaming himself since it happened." He chuckled slightly, liking how his work family had accepted his daughter as one of their own, although they'd already known her for years before hand.

"Tell mum I'm fine and I love her, and let Otis know that it wasn't his fault, but next time he can go investigate the noises." I smirked with a giggle as dad narrowed his eyes at me.

"Yeah, yeah." He shook his head as he stood up placing a small kiss on my forehead before he made his way towards the door, stopping with his hand on the handle. "I love you kid." He smiled softly.

"I love you too dad." I smiled back, watching as he gave me one last smile before leaving.

Turns out the storm I was expecting was nothing more than a bit of rain and whole bunch of sunshine.

-----

I hope you enjoy! I had no idea where I was going with this and wrote this out all in one as the ideas came to me!

[bold-writing]

The One With Whiskey Eyes || 10 || Simple Comforts

Warnings: mentions of abuse.

Words: 3200+

Previous || Next

~10~

Iris had never been the kind of person that would stare at the clock as her shift drew to a close, but this was definitely one of those days; nearly from the moment BT had left, she had been almost glued to the clock on the computer screen next to where she was working. Jessica had noticed her change in behaviour, but she hadn’t made any comment in case it was because she was still shaken from what had happened with the man she’d fought.

 What surprised Iris the most was that there were no comments about how BT had called her ‘mine’ when he’d scolded the would-be robber. Truthfully, only Jessica had heard the comment, but she knew for a fact that her coworkers were a gossipy bunch. She wasn’t about to look a gift-horse in the mouth, however, so she gladly stepped back and did her work as she enjoyed the relative peace of the store. There were no other instances that happened; most of those who came in were regulars.

 She was really looking forward to not having to hear people say “oh, honey, you’re so pale!” any more that day.

 Taking in a deep breath to relax herself as she made her way into the back room of the store, her locker and work bag sitting there waiting for her to end her shift. Pulling off her compression work gloves and dropping them on the top shelf, the pale woman exchanged them for a warmer outdoor pair to cover the back of her hand once more. Her small satchel carried her wallet and her phone, ensuring that she wasn’t lugging around a lot of weight on her way home.

 She was always ready to run, and after all these years she was pretty good at it, too.

 Pulling her coat on over her sweater, Iris carefully pulled her braid out from her jacket so as not to tug the strands before slinging her bag over one shoulder. She quickly checked the time on her phone before it went in her bag. Iris pulled the zipper of her sweater all the way up to the end, meeting just beneath her chin. It was slightly warmer today, but still a bit nippier than she was accustomed to or preferred. Just cold enough that she made sure to wear her coat.

She could feel her hands shaking, trembling at the realization that she was going to be with yet another of her soulmates. BT was the first to make an outward display of violence while with Iris, and somehow it hadn’t startled her or scared her. Normally, violence would scare her away but when it came to BT it was oddly…reassuring.

 Waving to her coworkers as she walked past the aisles and counters, Iris was relieved to be leaving work—for once. Usually, it was when she had to leave for home that made her regret not having another job.

 Meeting her soulmates really was changing everything about her life.

 Her eyes were drawn to the front window, where she had sat on the bench with BT earlier that day; he was already there. Sitting with his ankles crossed, legs stretched far out in front of him, BT was as relaxed as could be while he was waiting, a few minutes early from the time they had decided on. As though knowing that she was there, he glanced over his shoulder to meet her eyes through the window. Immediately, a smile lit his features as he stood up and turned to face the window fully.

 “Have a good evening, Iris!”

 “Thank you, Jessica, you as well,” Iris called over her shoulder before she slipped out of the store and into the chill of the evening. BT’s hands slipped into his pockets as he greeted her with a smile.

 “How was your shift?” he asked with a cautious grin.

 “Just fine; happily boring,” she assured, knowing that he was asking as a way of making sure that nothing else had happened to her after he’d left that morning. “What about you, how was your day?”

 “I didn’t do much, definitely distracted after this morning, so I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t have work,” he admitted somewhat shyly, causing her to smile bashfully as her gaze fell to her feet. “So, you have anything planned tonight?” he asked as casually as he could, scuffing his shoes against the concrete as though in nervous habit.

 Iris looked up to gauge his expression, noticing that he seemed to be half-dreading, half-anticipating her response. “No, no plans tonight. Why?”

 Some of the tension left him, but he didn’t relax entirely. “Wanna go for dinner? My treat.”

 Iris’s heart leapt in excitement as her stomach tangled in nervous knots. “I’d love to, BT. But you don’t have to pay-”

 “’Ey, no. That’s the only condition—I pay.”

 Biting on the inside of her left cheek, Iris already knew that arguing was pointless. “Alright, fine, you pay,” she conceded, shaking her head both at herself and at him. “You pick where we go, then.”

 BT’s smile was nearly blinding as he reached down and snatching Iris’s hand, pulling her in close to him as he turned away from the direction of her apartment. The additional change in her everyday routine made her slightly twitchy, an aftershock of discomfort ricocheting in her chest, but then BT squeezed her hand and started to ramble about the restaurants that he knew around town, all the while asking if she had any allergies or foods that she absolutely couldn’t stand.

 No allergies and barring only sushi or other raw meats, BT pondered for a moment before he grinned broadly again and snapped the fingers of his free hand excitedly. “I know just the place, and I promise ya, doll, you’re gunna love it!”

 She didn’t have time to react before he was tugging more insistently, nearly dragging her down the street. “Whoa, careful! My legs are shorter than yours!”

 BT immediately slowed down for her, his strides still long but significantly reduced in speed. “Sorry, doll, just got excited,” he apologized immediately as a bashful smile softened his features. “You are definitely tiny, though. Look at you!”

 “Stop,” Iris whined, leaning away when he used his free hand to hover over her head, demonstrating the limit of her height. “You guys are the worst; what’s so wrong with being short?”

 His teasing expression softened at her words, tugging her into his side again as he smiled reassuringly. “There’s nothing wrong, doll. In fact, you’re absolutely perfect in my opinion—just the right height for us to tuck you in real close.” To demonstrate, he shifted so that his arm was wrapped over her shoulder and he was able to pull her in tight against his side. Iris’s tiny stature had her with her head barely over his shoulder, so her body really did slot perfectly against his.

 Her cheeks heated at the close contact, ducking her head while leaning into him ever so slightly. “Well, I’m way past the age for getting a growth spurt, so you’re stuck with me like this.”

 BT smiled down at her before he swooped down and pressed a kiss against the crown of her head, much the same as he had done before he left that morning. “Don’t you worry—you won’t hear any of us complain about that.”

 “Good to know,” she mumbled, momentarily shocked at having received two affectionate kisses from him.

 She glanced along the street at the other people that were walking around, none of which were paying attention to the two of them. It shocked her, since she had always assumed that people were staring at her—judging her silently, even if they couldn’t actually see any of her marks. Taking a calming breath, she forced herself to focus on BT’s presence to her side.

 “So, do I get any hints about where we’re going?” she asked after a brief pause between them, remaining close to BT.

 Shaking his head, BT refused to give even the slightest hint and instead declared that it was going to be a total surprise. Looking down at her slightly flushed complexion, the tiny smile that turned up the corner of her lips, even the whiskey eyes that were directed bashfully forward, BT was certain that he could spend the rest of his time in the light just looking at her. Taking her in. It made him wonder if this was how Barry felt when it came to his art, and the urge he had to draw things.

 What he would give to be able to engrain her in his mind forward; to do so with every moment he had with her.

 None of them had really known what to expect when it came to meeting their soulmate. They’d heard from others about their experiences, and each of them had taken the time to look on the internet at people’s stories from their lives with a soulmate, dating back to their first encounter. However, they knew that it would be different for them. All sharing one body, and one soulmate, was bound to make it interesting.

 BT had been concerned when Barry took the helm; he spent most of the time in the light, and therefore the rest of the alters were worried that he would spend all the time he wanted with their future soulmate. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case, but it was still a worry none the less.

 He was going to be in trouble with Barry later, that was for certain. He’d told them to just let things fall as they may and not to force a meeting with Iris. However, it was just too good of an opportunity to pass up! To think that she was just down the street, so close to him but just out of reach all because Barry said so. No, he wasn’t going to just sit by and miss this opportunity for himself.

 And he was so, so glad that he had gone against Barry’s orders. The rage that had gripped him when he’d seen the true and authentic fear on Iris’s face, her soft coloured eyes narrowed and scared as she was faced with a man much larger than her, had been enough to cause his muscles to shake with tension. He’d come in just in time to see the smack he received to the back of his hand, reminding BT about what Luke had told him regarding her surprisingly fast reflexes, and the faintest bit of pride welled in his chest.

 She was a tiny thing and it was clear that intimidation had some effect on her, but she hadn’t let that stop her. Lashing out as she had proved that, although her backbone looked frail, it was sturdy.

 Holding her just a little bit closer, Iris glanced up at him curiously. He made sure that he wasn’t glaring or showing any of the anger from remembering that morning, and instead beamed down at her with one of his best smiles before he pressed another kiss against her hair. “Almost there. You tired from work?”

 “Yea, it was a long day. Having that man come in this morning set me on edge, too. I was tense all day,” she admitted quietly, nearly bowing her head down in embarrassment. “And I was excited to see you again.”

 “Aw, doll, I’m touched,” BT teased gently, placing his free hand over his heart in a mock-swoon. “But if we’re confessing an all, you’ve been on my mind all day.” Her pale cheeks were immediately dusted with another blush, to which BT silently celebrated. He loved it when her cheeks went rosy, it made her look livelier, but at the same time similar to a china doll. “And it wasn’t just ‘cause I was worried about you. I’ve been hoping all day that you’d say yes to dinner.”

 “Well, no more worrying,” she answered softly, giving him one of the brighter smiles he’d seen from her thus far.

 “And on that note,” he stated suddenly, slowing his stride as they approached a street corner. “We’re here.”

 Iris looked up toward the sign that wrapped around the corner. New York, New York. It was a pizza place, considered to have the best pizza from New York. “I’ve heard of this place,” she started happily, thankful that it was just a simple place and not something overly fancy. People in restaurants with big open rooms almost made her feel uncomfortable and exposed. A pizzeria she could do. “Never been here, though.”

 “Well, prepare to be absolutely amazed,” BT assured, stepping forward to grab the door for her. Iris smiled and nodded her thanks as she stepped inside, immediately overwhelmed with the smell of cheese, tomatoes and fresh dough. BT stepped in behind her, returning his arm over her shoulders as though in protective gesture.

 An older man, who Iris strongly assumed was Italian, beamed at them from the counter. “Welcome! What can I get for you two?” Yep, definitely Italian.

 BT grinned back before he turned his attention down to Iris. “What do you say, separate slices or we go all the way and get a deep dish?”

 Iris offered back a mirroring grin, though much more subdued than BT’s. “Deep dish,” she answered confidently.

 “Pepperoni?”

 “Can’t go wrong with that,” she answered immediately.

 BT was already pulling out his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans. “I’ll order, you go grab a table.�� Iris knew that trying to argue about who was going to pay was useless, so she simply nodded and moved over to a free booth near the door to the kitchen. The smells coming from inside drew her in, wrapping her in comfort. She’d never really been one to eat out, so when it came to getting pizza or another greasy, in-no-way good for you food, she always found it to be a comfort.

 Sliding into the booth, Iris looked over when she heard BT’s booming laugh. He was joking with the older man behind the counter as he waited for his change. The bright smile on his face was contagious and Iris soon felt her own lips curving upward at the sight. BT glanced over at her in that instant, the soft blue of his eyes meeting her whiskey ones before he grin grew even more when he caught her watching him with a smile.

 Immediately bashful, Iris’s eyes lowered to the hands she had folded in her lap as her cheeks warmed with yet another blush. Her heartrate increased as she looked down at the back of her hand, the mark covered by her spring gloves. Suddenly, the sight of the mark covered up didn’t sit as well with her. BT showed off all of his marks with pride, even if he was going to receive looks of ridicule from people that he passed on the street.

 Swallowing thickly, Iris eased the glove off her hand and moved to tuck them into her simple bag alongside her phone. The pizzeria was warm enough that she’d overheat from wearing them anyway. BT slid into the booth across from her in that moment, the smile never having left his face.

 “So, what did you do today? If you don’t mind me asking,” she added on quickly, not sure if she was overstepping her bounds.

 BT just laughed it off. “Ask me anything you want, I won’t mind,” he assured, “and I was at the gym for most of the day. I like to exercise, probably a bit more than I should but…everyone’s got their thing.”

 Iris smiled in assurance as she remembered her discussion with Barry; his thing was art. “I understand completely,” she assured. “I love music. I’ve always used it when I needed to calm down or if I needed help focusing on something. It…centers me.”

 BT leaned forward in interest, lacing his fingers together on the table as he leaned on his elbows. “Yea? Like, you play instruments?”

 “Some,” she answered bashfully, nervously tracing her finger over the mark on the back of the hand, hidden beneath the table so no one could see. “I only took some lessons for things, so I’m mostly self-taught. Most of the lessons I took were singing lessons, actually.” His eyebrows immediately went up in surprise, though thoroughly interested, and Iris couldn’t help but to feel some pride at the expression of wonder that soon fell over his features.

 “You know you’re gunna have to sing for me now, right? You can’t just say that and not let me hear.”

 Iris covered her face in embarrassment. “Oh god, no. I’ve never sung in front of someone,” she admitted, her words muffled against her hands. BT’s eyes flicked briefly to the black mark on her hand but the writing too small for him to make out. Reaching out, he took a gentle hold of her hands and drew them away from her face to show the reddened, flushed skin beneath.

 “Relax, doll, there’s no pressure,” he promised calmly, gifting her with a more subdued, true smile. “I’d love to hear it, believe me, but only when you really want to.”

 In the past, Iris was accustomed to people reacting in much more demanding ways. They’d see her fiddling with piano keys and immediately demand that she play something, or she’d be singing under her breath when she thought no one was around at work and they’d ask her to sing something. With BT, to know that he was patient enough to wait for her to be confident in her own talents, it warmed her heart.

 “Thank you,” she whispered, meeting his eyes shyly.

 BT just smiled in return and lifted her hands to press a kiss against her knuckles in comfort. “So, what lessons, aside from singing, did you take?”

 They fell into comfortable conversation as they waited for their pizza, Iris telling him about the brief lessons she had taken for piano, guitar and violin, all by an older woman who’d retired and wanted to share her love of music. When she’d realized that Iris had a natural talent for music, she’d given her a discount on lessons and had proceeded to teach her the beginner lessons and some more advanced ones. Unfortunately, she’d gotten sick after two years and her family moved her out of state to a home that was closer to them.

 She was probably one of the closer things Iris had ever experienced similar to family affection. She’d known about Iris’s marks, at least the few that she could see, and had never judged her. “I’ve lived through too much to start judging other people,” she’d told her. “I’m met a few soulmate groups over the years and they were always the happiest people out there.”

 Knowing that other people with multiple marks had made happy lives for themselves had given Iris hope, some of the fear that lingered with the ‘what if’ thoughts dissipating.

 And now that she’d met some of them, each as charming and kind as the last, Iris finally felt that she could live in peace with her marks.

Previous || Next

[queenofallimagines]

mayb oikawa, suga and tendou with their black!s/o having to deal with a racist bully? and she's considering to straighten her hair because of it? sorry if this is too specific 🥺🥺

Ngl this gave me war flashbacks to my just for me perm days💀

But Issa wrap for the racist BC these three love to scrap

Tendou:

- he already has a short fuse for bullying

- But bullying his s/o? Oh he’s gunna snap frfr

- The racist better hope they don’t get caught in the act

- BC he will flash them that terrifying smile before punching their lights out

- If it’s in school and he can’t fight then he will roast them crispy in front of everybody

- Like everyone will be shocked

- But let’s say he didn’t catch them

- He will notice you feeling down and uncomfortable

- Will try to lift your spirits until he figures out what’s wrong

- If he hears through the grapevine that your being targeted he’s pissed

- He will find out who it is and be on that shit like white on rice

- Has the whole vb team as backup

- When he finds out you want to straighten your hair

- He’s heart broken

- You look so good with your hair in its natural state

- “You can straighten it if you want to but don’t do it because some racist shithead put you in a corner.”

- “I want you to be able to be yourself.”

- He’s been bullied based on appearance so to see you being in a similar position has him super heated

- He will confront this person and threaten them and their friends

- “Hahaha, if you ever do some shit like that to my s/o I can and will make your life hell.” And he says it In a creepy sing song voice

- He spends the following weeks telling you how beautiful and amazing your hair looks

- And how much he thinks your skin is beautiful

- “Melatonin popping!”

- “Satori It’s melanin.”

- “Well you make it look hot!”

- Will show you off even more

- Will get super flustered if you wear his jacket

- Is always thinking “Dam this hot piece of ass is all mine and I’m gunna cherish them.”

- Oh god let the racist be on an opposing team

- God rest in piss man

- He will absolutely destroy the other team

- The other members are Lowkey scared BC they’ve never seen Tendou like this before

- “,,,,, you good fam?”

- “Perfect! Let’s go off on their asses.”

Suga:

- sugar suga momma will loose his shit too

- He probably won’t catch the person in the act but if anyone tells him he will be seeing red immediately

- He’s gunna first and foremost pamper you with love and plenty of kisses

- “You’re absolutely beautiful and your skin color only adds to that.”

- In his eyes you’ve been blessed

- ‘Brown skin girl, ya skin just like pearls Your back against the world I never trade you for anybody else’

- He will make sure you feel beautiful if it’s the last thing he does

- “Sugar, who is bothering you.”

- He says it so softly but you definitely hear the underlying threat in his voice

- He will pull up and daichi and Asahi and go tf off

- Jacks them up by their shirt and smiles

- That smile is anything but nice

- He’s like 10 seconds away from kicking ass but the other two are holding him back

- “If i ever find out that you’re bothering my s/o again. I will personally make sure you can’t do anything anymore. Okay?”

- The person will apologize to you tomorrow morning LMAO

- Straightening your hair? Nah

- He hides all that shit

- You gon get frustrated with him but he’s chilling

- “You’re not going to do it unless you want to. Some loser isn’t going to influence your decision. I won’t let them.”

- He will offer to help with your hair

- Couple activities

- He likes doing puff ya BC he can run his fingers through all of your hair

- “I use leave in first right?”

- Has been secretly watching you do your wash n go’s so he knows how to help

- Can actually do pretty decent twists

- “See? Isn’t that much better?”

Oikawa:

- okay so what if it’s his fan girls

- Overused trope? In my house? Absolutely

- He might accidentally catch them

- A snide comment here and there

- He’s way too shocked to even fight them lmao

- He will ask if you’re Gucci first

- Spends weeks building your confidence

- “I mean I look good but have you seen my beautiful s/o? Absolutely gorgeous.”

- “Dam you see how they look during golden hour? Immaculate!”

- He will smother you in love and kisses

- There is no escape

- He will suggest hair styles

- “These faux locs would look great on you.”

- This clown probably snitches to iwaizumi’s mom lmao

- (If you don’t know my hc is that She’s black and a hair stylist)

- will buy you expensive hair products

- “Dam how did that deep conditioner get there???”

- You’re now allowed to chage your hair and he will force it

- He can be aggressively loving

- If you snap at him he will snap back

- “But I’m not about to let you conform to European beauty standards. So go take out that twist out and we can go get dinner.”

- Takes you to pubic dates to show you off on purpose

- Depending on how you joke around with each other he will call you chocolate

- “ how are you doing today my beautiful dark skin chocolate Nubian royalty.”

- “Okay clown Let’s go back to the circus.”

- Will also help with hair

- He has those magic setter fingers so he can cornrow super fast without missing a beat

- Has iwaizumi help him heat up the racist

- would probably buy you an actual crown to wear

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Ain’t Sayin’ She’s a Gold Digger: Part 3

Pairings: Sugar Daddy!Negan x Sugar Baby!Reader

Warnings: Sugar baby relationship, swearing

Word Count: 3,343

Part 1 / Part 2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“OK, do you know what I think sounds much more fun than watching you work right now?” You asked from the bed as you rolled on to your stomach on the sheets toward where Jeff was working at the desk in the master bedroom.

“Playing the piano some more?” He asked without looking away from his laptop. You smirked and shook your head as you set the book you grabbed from the main room’s collection aside, pulled your knees up to your chest, and sat up.

“Well I can do that any time.” You giggled as you pulled off your night gown and tossed it toward the desk by his left elbow. He startled the slightest bit when it hit him, and he turned around to look at you with his eyebrow raised as you shot your underwear at him like a sling shot. “When else am I going to be able to skinny dip on the top of a cruise ship?” You turned on your heel with a giant smile and headed over to the veranda doors without a look back. “You coming or is work more fun to you?” He grumbled ‘Goddamn’ under his breath as you turned the corner and headed up the stairs to the small hot tub. The water felt absolutely perfect as you stepped into it, and Jeff finally joined you when you got the jets figured out and turned on. “Oh, no!” You said with a shake of your head as you moved in front of the stairs and shook your head as he set down a pair of robes from the closet. “This is a no clothing zone.”

“Yea, I’m still not fucking walking around with my dick out.” He laughed as he glanced over his shoulder before taking off his boxers and quickly getting into the hot tub.

“OK, who the fuck is gunna see you up here?” You laughed as you sat down in the seat next to him and put your legs across his lap. “The birds? I hear they are huge gossips.” You squeaked a laugh when he tickled your sides and pouted at him when he stopped.

“Gentlemen my age aren’t meant to skinny dip…”

“Huh? What does that even mean?” You asked as you threw your hair up in a messy bun on top of your head.

“You have tattoos?” He asked as he tilted his head a bit to see the tattoo that ran down your rib cage. You glanced down at it and nodded your head as you sat up so you could turn toward him a bit.

“The first song mama Beth taught me on the piano was Hallelujah. She wasn’t having none of that Twinkle Twinkle shit with her… with her own kid.” You sniffled and shrugged your shoulders. “So she taught me her favorite song. And it was the song that got me into Juilliard… well, sort of…”

“Story?” He asked gently as he slowly dragged the tips of his fingers up and down your shin.

“Well… OK, here’s the thing.” You started as you got comfortable in your spot and shifted the jet toward a small knot in your back a little more. “So if you haven’t realized by now, I am not normal. In any sort of capacity.”

“Nooo….” He sassed, teasingly. “You don’t say?”

“Shut up.” You laughed as you flicked a bit of water at him. “Its more fun to live life outside the box. So when I sent in my audition tape, I did the most stereotypical classical song you could think of. Beethoven. Bleck. But it got me through to the auditions so yay. But when I got into the practice room before the auditions and was warming up, I heard one of the ladies who worked at my… second? Maybe third group home say ‘don’t be afraid to be different’. Now, she had been talking about how I went through a phase when I was 13 of wearing bright, clashing colors every day because I thought it looked cool. But it just kinda changed my thinking that day. So I went into my audition and mashed up Hallelujah and Can’t Help Falling in Love, because it was playing on my iPod when I walked in to Juilliard, on the spot. Took me the full thirty minutes to figure out how to do it, but I did it. And it got me in.” Jeff sat silently for a moment, really taking in your story in a way you didn’t see, before he nodded his head.

“Where have you been all my life?”

“Disney gift shop.” You responded with a smile as you pointed at the water color Stitch outline on your hip. He smiled and slid his hand up to brush his thumb across the ink, before moving his hand to a more respectful place on your leg.

“My tattoos were all decisions made by a much younger man.” He laughed as he picked up your legs a bit so he could turn toward you.

“Yay stories!” He laughed again and nodded as he situated your legs on his lap again. He went one by one, showing you all five of his tattoos, and giving you an insight you had to assume not many people saw of the millionaire. You were absolutely enthralled with this man, and the more you listened, the more you wanted to know. And the more you got to know him, the more you wondered how it was possible that this man was single.

“Hey, Jeff.” You breathed as you used your and his legs to scoot closer to him. “How come… well… how come you’re a Sugar Daddy?”

“That’s…” He started as he looked out at the star splattered sky and the open ocean in front of the bow of the boat. “That’s a story for another day.”

“OK.” You whispered softly with a nod as you turned on the bench so you were right next to him and laid your head on his shoulder. “I have time to wait.” You felt him nod his head as he kissed the top of yours, before he rested his cheek on your head and looked back out at the stars.

“You are too good for me, sweetheart.”

“No, I’m not.” You giggled as you snuggled into his side. “I’m apparently just as fucked up as you are.” He huffed and nodded his head again as you both pointed to a shooting star at the same time.

“No, sweetheart. You are perfect.”

——

You had no idea where time went those next two weeks. Between the ten different ports in three different countries, and trying to learn as much as you could about the cruise experience as a whole so Jeff knew his company was exceeding his expectations of his company. Even though you knew he had work to do, you still couldn’t help yourself but be a flirtatious distraction just to see the smile that you could tell felt foreign to him.

“What, do you think you’re permanently stealing my shirt?” Jeff asked as he came out of the bathroom with a towel in his hands, barely covering himself up to tease you. You did a double take as you put your freshly cleaned clothes in one of the three harder side suitcases you bought before the trip. You glanced down at the shirt you had stolen from his part of the closet on the first or second night, and nodded your head.

“This is now mine.” You said with a smile as you dropped your jewelry bag on top of the first full suitcase and closed the top. “I’d just give up on thinking you’re getting it back… hey…” He hummed and looked up at you with his eyebrow raised as he stopped drying off his hair, and you tilted your head to the side like a lost puppy. “What’s wrong?”

“We need to talk.” Your stomach dropped to your toes as you nodded your head in total understanding.

“OK.” You whispered with a tight smile. “It’s OK, I understand. You… you don’t have to fly me back private.”

“Wait, what?” He asked as he threw the towel around his waist on his way over to where you were standing. “(Y/N), I’m not sending you home, baby girl. I’m trying to tell you that… we may need to renegotiate our arrangement.” You looked over at him as a single tear fell on each cheek. “No, don’t cry. You’re staying with me.”

“Why would you say it like that then, jerk?” You asked as he pulled you into a hug.

“Because I’m not good with the sappy shit.” He chuckled as he kissed the top of your head.

“So rude.” You said with a huffed laugh as you pushed him away. “Go away. I don’t like you right now.”

“Well I guess I’m going to have to send you home after all then.” You rolled your eyes at him and went back to packing your bags as he grabbed the pair of boxers he had left out when he packed while you showered. He hesitated a moment as he watched you set the outfit you were planning on wearing into London aside, and met your eyes when you looked up at him to continue. “My wife left me for another man.” You nodded your head and put down the pile of bras in your hand to walk around the bed to where he was standing.

“I know, honey. Dana told me.”

“Did she tell you I was to old to find another girlfriend?” He asked as he gently wrapped his hands around your upper arms and sat you down on the bed. “Because I am.”

“No.” You huffed as you used your legs to pull him a step closer to you. “No, you are not.”

“Yea, I am.” He sighed as he looked down away from you. “And I travel to much and work to hard…” You interrupted his thoughts before he could even get started by gently placing your fingertip on his chin and adding pressure until he looked at you again.

“Did you know that I’m worthless?” You asked him, honestly. “That I’m not worth anyone’s love. Because my last foster mother told me that every day before I aged out. Did you know that’s why I’m still single? Because just like you, I’ve been waiting for someone to show me that the wait we’ve both had to do was worth it.”

“You’re not worthless…”

“And you’re not old.” You countered as you ran your fingers through his wet curls. “And no, you don’t have to pay me to want to be here with you. You didn’t have to pay me to want to spend time with you at all…”

“I’m…” He started as he looked away again, but he leaned down enough to drop his forehead on yours.

“It’s OK to be scared.” You whispered as you closed your eyes and put your other hand on the back of his neck. “I’m scared that I will never be good enough for you no matter how expensive the clothes you put me in are. After all, I am an orphaned college drop out…”

“No you’re not. I’m the millionaire that is way to old to date anymore…”

“Alright, you’re wrong too, so if the point that you’re trying to make here is you want me to keep traveling with you, I can honestly say that you are never getting any work done again.” He smiled broadly and picked his head up enough to look at you and nodded.

“I think I’ll be OK with that.” Your smile grew with his as he closed the distance between the two of you and captured your lips with his. He pulled back quicker than you would have liked for your first kiss, and your smile turned into a pout as he adjusted his boxers. “What? I have work.”

“The fuck you do!” You laughed as you grabbed his wrist and pulled him back over to you. “You can’t kiss me like that and just walk away.”

“Oh, I’ll do whatever I want to, sweetheart.” He teased as he pushed you down on the bed between your suitcases and clothes. “I’m in charge.”

“No, you think you’re in charge.” You countered as you wrapped your arms and legs around him. “But in reality, I’m the one in charge here.” He hummed and kissed you again with a small nod.

“OK.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hello?”

“Dana!” You said with way to much enthusiasm for 7:30 in the morning as you wandered around the Royal Suite of the Ritz Carlton you were staying in for the next few days while Jeff took care of some business he had. “Good, you’re awake. I’m stealing Jeff from you because no one else is allowed to have him ever again.”

“(Y/N)?” She asked hesitantly as she probably looked at her phone. “Where are you? Aren’t you supposed to be on a plane?”

“Well no, not any more. Oh, but you will never guess where I am!”

“You’re interrupting my Bachelor binge so it better be good…”

“I’m in Abu Dhabi.” You finished quickly as you sat down on the chaste lounge chair in the bathroom. “But I don’t wanna talk about that, I wanna talk about Jeff.”

“Of course you do.” She laughed as you turned the chair toward the window where you wanted it to look at the beautiful pool and beach below you.

“OK, one. You said he owned a couple hotels, not that he was the CEO of the freaking Marriott.”

“Didn’t know…”

“Second, and much more importantly, how the hell did his ex wife tell him he was to old to love?”

“She what?”

“Yea, broke his poor heart. My guess is that’s the only reason that he’s been coming to see you. To just pay to have someone not break his heart like that again. D, this man is God’s honest one of the sweetest men I’ve ever met. And funny! Oh, so funny! He had me nearly pissing myself at dinner every night on the cruise. I’ve had more fun in the last two weeks than that time we went to Coney Island and got wasted. You remember that night?”

“Of course I do…”

“And that’s saying something.” You continued over her to get your point out. “And whats more, I was concerned I’d only see the money… I don’t even care! Honestly, I just want to keep spending time with him. Shit, I’d never buy another nice thing in the world if it meant I got to spend more time with him. Dana… Dana this man is perfect. Like he’s a sculpted from the Gods, sweet as homegrown pie, loving, caring, compassionate, selfless piece of sexy as fuck hunk-a man.” Your best friend laughed at your description as you scooted down on the chair a bit more with a smile. “Thank you, Dana.”

“You’re welcome, (Y/N).”

“Guess you’re on your own going to the Bachelor mansion now.” You laughed as you crossed your legs and bounced your foot in the air. “I’ll let you borrow my dresses if you want so you don’t break the bank. OH! And I have my rent. I don’t know when we’re coming back because Jeff has a meeting here today and one in… I think Australia on Thursday, and I think he’s gotta stay in Australia for a bit, but I’m not sure. He told me when he was getting ready for the gym but I was half asleep and drooling. But he put some money in my bank account so I could make sure you weren’t late on bills until I figure out work again…”

“You don’t have to work if you don’t want to.” Jeff said softly as he walked into the bathroom, drenched in sweat from his morning workout. “Hi beautiful. Hi Dana.”

“I’ll Venmo you money later Dana, and Jeff says hi. Gotta shower and go drool some more. Call you from Australia!”

“Bye Jeff. Bye (Y/N). Have fun you traitorous bitch… leaving me in the single world…” With a smile, you said bye once more and hung up the phone to jump in the shower before breakfast.

“So I’m a… hunk-a man?”

“Hell yea you are!” You laughed as you dropped your phone on the lounge chair and reached for his shirt. “You are a bad eavesdropper.”

“Yea, well you were talking pretty loud.” He laughed as he pulled the tie of your robe free and grabbed your waist to pull you closer.

“I’m always loud.” You giggled as you pushed his shorts and boxers down as he walked you backwards across the room to the shower.

“Oh, I fucking know it.” He muttered as you wrapped your hand around his length. He kissed you softly and shook his head as he pulled his hips backs and turned on the water. “Sorry, baby girl. I have a lot of phone calls to make and work to catch up on from being away for two weeks before my meeting.”

“OK.” You said with only a slightly disappointed pout.

“But I know there’s a lot to see around here…”

“Do you care if I go see?” You asked as you stepped under the water and got your hair wet. “I just…. umm… well just in case I can’t come back?”

“(Y/N)…” He said softly as he gently pinched your chin and pulled it down so you would look at him. “Absolutely. I totally understand. Don’t ever feel guilty about experiencing the world if I’m working. As long as we’re together, you can spend whatever money you want, and go and do whatever you want in the cities we’re in. I don’t ever expect you to just sit in the hotel because I have to, OK?”

“OK.” You whispered with a nod of your head. He smirked at you and gave you a chaste kiss before stepping back to wash his body.

“Just give it some time, sweetheart. It’s gunna take some time to get used to my lifestyle, but we’ll get there. Find a routine, that’s the easiest way to do it.” You nodded your head and took the shampoo suds from your hair to wash his as well so you could wrap your arms around his neck.

“You really are too good for me, Jeffrey. Seriously.”

“Nope. That would be you.”

——

Coming back home after a month being away was a bit of a shell shocking experience. Your bedroom seemed way to tiny and was still covered in empty shopping bags and ripped off tags. You didn’t have an issue with the room and your apartment itself, it’s just that you had gotten used to Jeff being around, and it seemed so empty without him.

“You can just set them on the bed.” You sighed as you gestured to the queen sized bed in the corner.

“Bitch, I’m not your maid.” Dana laughed as she dropped the suitcases she helped you carry up on the floor. “You got it.”

“Dana!” You whined as you dropped shopping bags, and the other suitcase on your bed. “I can’t even!”

“Oh, you’ll be fine!” She called out as she headed a few feet down the hall to the kitchen to grab a trash bag. “Come on, let’s get this shit cleaned up so we can find room in that closet of yours for all this fancy shit you got now.”

“I brought you presents.” You said as you started grabbing tags off the bed and shoving them in the trash bag with the shopping bags she was picking up and throwing out. “I grabbed you something from every country I was in.”

“You don’t have to do that, hun.” She laughed as she set aside the tissue paper from the bags, and the shoe boxes to reuse for Christmas and birthday gifts and storage boxes to replace the old ones in her, your, and the hall closets.

“Yea, but I couldn’t help it.” You said as you threw out the last of the tags and grabbed the other suitcases. “There’s a lot of stuff that just screamed ‘you’ so I just had to get it. And it’s for me, too so it all works out in the end.”

“Alright, fine. What is it?” She asked with a laugh as you started digging through the bags.

“OK, we have this from London.” You said as you pulled out and handed her a boxed union jack coffee mug to add to her collection of random coffee mugs. “And this necklace is from Scotland.” You handed her the next small box and turned the slightest bit to point at the box. “It’s made from a Scottish plant and all the necklaces are one of a kind. There’s a little history card in there so you can read about it. And then of course, from Ireland…” You paused for a moment with a giant smirk as you pulled out a large bottle of Irish Whisky. “Shocker. I also grabbed two Avoca throws for the living room for our beds or something from Irelands oldest weaving mill, and a cute coffee table book. I got one from Australia, too.”

“So you went a little crazy.” She laughed as she looked at the two blankets you had set down.

“And then I got this for the dining room from Abu Dhabi. It’s a Turkish lamp but it looks so cool.”

“Oh wow!” She said as you pulled out the three orb hanging lamp from it’s box.

“And I had to get some pashmina’s…”

“Oh so perfect!” She said as you laid out the half dozen scarfs in various colors and patterns on the bed for her to see.

“I figured we could share them so we both have six colors to choose from, and if we like a certain color or pattern more, I can pick another one up if I go back to Abu Dhabi or Dubai or something. And I grabbed a bag of the coffee they had at the hotel because it was AMAZING, and some spices to cook with. I had a lot of time to spend money in Abu Dhabi.” You laughed as you added the empty bag to the trash bag on the floor. “And lastly, Australia; another place I had way to much time to shop in. I grabbed some opals to add to your crystal collection, I got myself a new pair of Ugg boots, some Vegemite because I actually liked it, surprisingly. I don’t know, I’m weird. And then some chocolate, more coffee, some tea, and oh, this awesome bottle of wine we had at dinner.”

“Woman! How much damn money did you spend?!”

“And the last two things…” You said as you pulled out two different stuffed animals held the kangaroo out to her. “I asked Jeff if it was OK, and I adopted a kangaroo in your name and a koala in mine. I got to meet them both, and I have pictures so you can see them too. But they are so cute so I had to adopt them. And you’ll get sent pictures every year to see their rehabilitation and release into the wild. Oh, and I ordered a didgeridoo to put up on my wall that should be in in a few weeks because it was too big to fly so I had to ship it.”

“This new too?” She asked as she hit the Pandora bracelet on your wrist.

“That was Jeff’s idea. So I can remember all the places he’s taken me.”

“You two are so disgusting.” She laughed as she started collecting her presents from the bed to bring them to her room so she could also grab a bottle of wine and help you unpack to hear all the stories she knew you had. “I got the wine and the extra hangers.”

“I’ll start a playlist.” You said as you put your koala stuffed animal on your pillow and pulled out the rest of your souvenirs to put away. You started with your closet and pulled out all of you old work clothes, to pack away in a tote under your bed for future use just in case. Hangers got piled up on the bed and wine got poured as stories started to flow. Dana worked on hanging up your new shirts, and skirts, and made room for shorts and pants on the shelves and in your dresser, while you hung up all of your dresses in your overflow wardrobe, before cleaning out your old makeup and replacing it with the new stuff. Bathing suits went in the box under your bed with your old ones, lingerie went into your dresser, and shoes and purses went in any space you had left, since your bedroom was pretty small and already full of stuff you had collected over the years. But even though it took you two hours to reorganize and put away, you still hadn’t run out of stories and you decided to give Dana a break because of the exhausted look on her face.

“OK, I’m done.” You laughed as you stacked up your suitcases at the foot of your bed to put out in the hall closet eventually.

“Sorry, sweetie. I just had a new client hit one of my girls last night so I was dealing with the cops half the night and this wine isn’t helping.”

“D, oh my God, why didn’t you interrupt me? Girl, go sit down! I could have unpacked by myself! I’ll order a pie for dinner and find something on Netflix to zone out to.”

“God, you have no fucking idea how good that sounds right now.” She laughed as she headed out of the room. With a nod, you grabbed your cell from the Hermès bag you had coveted of the woman in the Subway, and followed your roommate out to the living room to just veg and hang out until you both passed out on the couch in positions that was sure to make your back hurt the next day.

——

Pounding on your door woke you up way to early, and being the closer one, you threw off your slightly tangled blanket and trudged to the door from the couch. You looked up at your handsome visitor through sleep fogged eyes, and shook your head.

“No.”

“Sweetheart where have you been?” Jeff asked as he pulled you into a hug. “We were supposed to meet at the gym 45 minutes ago and your phone is going straight to voicemail...”

“I’m trying to fucking sleep!” Dana screamed from the living room as she got off the couch and headed into her room.

“Sleep time, baby.” You sighed as you grabbed his hand and pulled him into your apartment tiredly. “Sleep.”

“I can’t, I have shit to do today.”

“No, sleep time.” You repeated as you locked the door behind him and dragged him a few feet down the hallway to your bedroom. Your clothes from the night before hit the floor and you were too tired to even look back at him as you pulled back the blankets and climbed into bed against the wall in just your cotton thong. “Sleep with me.”

“Fine.” He muttered as he stripped down to his boxers and got into bed in front of you. “But only for an hour...”

“Shhh!” You hissed as you snuggled into his chest and almost instantly fell back asleep. One hour turned into almost five, which is when Jeff got tired of watching you sleep and decided it was time to wake you up. He very gently kissed your forehead and slowly rubbed your back, before his lips moved to your temple and down to your cheek.

“Supposed to be sleeping.” You grumbled when he kissed your nose.

“It’s almost eleven, baby. And I’m getting hungry.”

“There’s leftover sushi in the fridge.” You muttered as you pulled the blankets up over your head. “And some of a teriyaki bowl. Fried rice… but the spring roll is Dana’s.”

“OK, but I want to see your beautiful face with me…” You started when Dana threw your bedroom door open, and you sat up as she held her phone out.

“Chelsea got tickets to Burning Man.”

“She what?!” You asked as you scrambled over Jeff to get to the phone.

“I grabbed six.” One of your closest friends said on speaker as you took the phone from your roommate and grabbed Jeff’s gym shirt off the floor.

“That’s mine.” He said, which made you simply swipe your hand in his direction.

“How did you get six tickets?”

“Sold a townhouse on the Upper East so I jumped when I got that check this morning.”

“So what, six tickets, one vehicle pass?” Dana asked as she leaned on your door frame and bent down to scratch her leg.

“Yea.”

“So what, the three of us and who?”

“I figured asking Kara and Mac…”

“They broke up last week.” Dana said as she looked up at you with a shrug. “Mac cheated.”

“She did not!” You gasped over Chelsea in shock. Dana nodded her head and took a step back so Jeff could scoot past to go to the bathroom.

“OK, so just Kara.” Chelsea said as you gestured down the hall to the living room. “And I was thinking Mickey.”

“OK, I love Mickey, but I would kill him after three days.” Dana laughed.

“What about Steph?”

“I would kill her after two days.”

“OK well first, let’s ask this. Do we wanna make it a girls trip? Because (Y/N) has a new beau.”

“Ooo! Is this the cruise guy? I heard he’s stupid cute.”

“He is.” You laughed as you set the phone down on the coffee table and went into the kitchen to grab a pen and paper.

“I mean you said he’s older though? Like how old are we talking?”

“I’m 45.” Jeff called out as he headed into the kitchen to start making coffee. “Not that old. Coffee?”

“Oh! Didn’t realize he was there, sorry.” You called out that she was fine as you grabbed coffee mugs, and the container of coffee grounds for Jeff before heading back to discuss your plans.

“Keep a ticket on hold for right now for him.” You said as you sat down on the couch beside Dana and tucked your knees up to your chest. “I’ll get back to you in a couple days on that. And the last ticket has to go to Kenzie. She’s been trying to get us all to go with her for years and she’d be ideal on the prep front on what we actually need to bring.”

“Oh, yea I like Kenzie.” Chelsea said, excitedly. “I approve.”

“OK, so we have a line up. The three of us, Kenzie, Kara, and possibly Jeff. And if not Jeff, we can see if Matt wants to go.”

“Oh, he’s fabulous.” Dana agreed. “Alright, Chelsea, get your laptop. Let’s get a Zoom call going so we can start working out details. I’ll send you the room number in a minute.” She said OK and hung up the phone just as Jeff was coming out with three cups of coffee.

“So what is Burning Man?”

“It is a life changing experience.” Dana stated as she started a new group text chat for the Burning Man group. “It’s a week long event…”

“Not to be confused with a festival.” You interrupted as you started the list of what you would need to make this trip happen.

“Not a festival, but it is at the same time. It’s put on by artists, and musicians, and free spirits dedicated to self-expression and anti-consumerism.”

“It’s supposed to be a life changing experience.” You chimed in as you looked up from your notes. “We’ve been talking about going for the past five years since Kenzie went the first time.” Jeff nodded his head as your other three closet friend’s voices floated out of the speakers, but his next statement made everyone fall into stunned silence.

“I’ll tag along if you don’t mind it. Sounds like an interesting experience even for someone at my age. I’ll cover the costs, too so you all don’t have to worry about that and just enjoy the experience.”

“Wait, what?” Chelsea asked as Dana turned her laptop so the girls could see the three people in your living room.

“Who is that?”

“Is that the guy?”

“That’s the guy.”

“Guys, he’s right here.” You laughed as you waved your paper at the group. “Do we wanna plan this shit or what?”

“OK! OK! We’re planning!” Kenzie laughed as she got up to grab something on her end. “Now, I usually stay in a tent, but it’s usually just me and Stacy…”

“Oh, Stacy! We forgot Stacy!” Dana whined.

“I’ll cover her ticket.” Jeff said with a small nod as he sat back in his chair with his coffee. “And all of yours too.”

“What?” “No way!” “You don’t have to do that.” “Yo, I’m broke! Shut up!”

“You’re gunna give them all heart attacks.” You laughed.

“I’m not sleeping in a tent, either.” He said more to you with a shake of his head. “You want to be the one to look into an RV or should I have my assistant do it?”

“Oh, I know there’s a place out there we can rent from…” Kenzie tried but you shook your head as you added the RV to your list.

“No, he means he’s gunna buy one.” You said with a glance up at your friends. “Can we stop focusing on Jeff and focus on Burning Man, please?”

“Yes, Burning Man.” Dana said for you as she clapped her hands. “So, Kenzie. What do we need to know?”

“Who’s…”

“I’ve got the list started already.” You said over Chelsea as you waved the paper around.

“OK, Burning man is a fucking beast.” Kenzie said as she sat down on her couch with a meticulously organized fire red binder in typical Kenzie fashion. “It is not a foot race, it is a fucking marathon. You all need to be prepared. So let’s get started with my prep list…”

Part 4

[wille-zarr]

"The Salesman” (Lando Calrissian x Reader)

@sana-katarn​ I ship you with...

Lando Calrissian

p.s. I know you too well, Sana, so I took some... humorous creative liberties with your submission. 😂 SANA DESERVES A FASHIONABLE SASSY MAN IN HER LIFE PERIODT. 👏🏻

You love any excuse to splurge on a fabulous dress. So being invited to a gala event? Oh, you know you’re splurging. Kriff thrifty spending! Time to spoil yourself! Heck yeah!

You stroll past window after window of storefronts, crinkling your nose in disapproval at practically everything you’re finding.

You pause, eyeing a weird, neon-green feather jumpsuit in one window.

“Fabulous,” you sigh, crossing your arms. “Just what I always wanted- my very own signal flare with feathers.” You crinkle your nose again, deadpanning your voice. “It’ll really bring out the neon green in my eyes.” 

Yeah... you probably should have taken your sister up on her offer to help you shop. Independence is fine and all until you’re sick of your own company.

Shaking your head, you decide to just leave. That is, until...

Beaded crystals catch your eye.

You smirk. Heck yeah. There’s hope yet.

You march yourself straight through the store’s doors, beaming with delight at all of the stunning dresses on display.

“Wow!” You grin, letting your fingers drape across the rows of gowns.

“Well, hel-lo, what do we have here?”

You lift your eyes, blinking at the handsome and exquisitely dressed man before you.

“I see miss has stunning taste.” He throws you a wink, lifting your hand up to kiss. “Such a beautiful woman.”

“Oh,” you grin, pulling your hand away from the charming, cape-draped man. “I see you have stunning taste yourself.”

“Thank you, I pride myself on my wardrobe.” His eyes twinkle down at you, a no-good smirk on his face.

“Na, I meant stunning taste in women.” You twist away, chomping on your gum as you begin clawing through racks of dresses. “I’m gorgeous.”

He lets out a deep, belly-laugh, and you grin. 

He jogs over to stand in front of you. “Well, then, let me introduce myself to such a gorgeous woman.”

He sticks his hand out, a glint in his eye. “Lando.”

Heh, he really is darn cute. I mean, you know he’s only laying the flattery on thick to make a sell, but hey, might as well have a little fun, right?

“Sana.” You take his hand, kissing it just as he had yours.

He laughs, rich and musical to your ears. “I think we’re going to have a lot of fun together, Sana...”

A good two hours and a thousand flirtations later, you toss your favorite gown up on the register. “You have great stuff here,” you giggle, reaching down to smooth the dress out. “And attentive salesmen.”

“Salesmen?” The cashier raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah, that man with the cape, the one who helped me. Lando.” You twist your head around, searching for him.

“Oh, he doesn’t work here. Never seen him before.”

You jut your hip out, crossing both arms across your chest.

“Then who the HELL did I just make out with in the dressing room?”

The cashier just stares at you.

The evening of the gala, you force your sister to help you get ready. You want to look perfect. Every little detail must be perfect. If you make the right connections at this party, it will be just one step closer to making your dream career in art and design a reality.

You walk into the stunning, golden-hued ballroom, mouth gaping open in delight.

“My stars!” You grin, grabbing a cocktail off of a passing serving platter.

“It’s stunning, isn’t it?”

You spin around, nearly spilling the cocktail all over...

“Lando!”

“The one and only- AH!”

He coughs, dabbing off the cocktail you threw in his face with a nearby tablecloth.

You give a glare at nearby guests, but, funnily enough, no one seems to care you just attacked a guest with a drink.

“Who are you?!” you growl, crossing your arms tightly together.

He throws his head back up, tossing you that same, mischievous smirk from before.

“Not happy with the dress I helped you pick?”

“I love it, but I also found out I made out with a random stranger in a dressing room.” You shove a finger at him. “Not a salesperson.”

“Darling!” He throws his hands up. “I was a stranger either way!”

You lower your brows.

“True. But still.”

He grins, resting his hand upon your shoulder. “How about we start over, hmm? No deceit this time?”

“Well, fine,” you sigh. “No deceit.”

Just then, the master of ceremonies walks up to both of you.

“Sir, who are you. You’re not on the guest list.”

Your eyes widen, and you jerk around to stare up at Lando.

“I’m with Ms. Sana, her special guest.”

You groan inwardly. This guy.... is gunna be a lot of... fun.

Lando drops into your life at his leisure. You really don’t mind too much. You have a ton of fun together when he’s around, but he also tends to get you mixed up in whatever scheme he is currently involved in....

One day, you are co-piloting his new ship, the Millennium Falcon, after he stole you away in the middle of the workday.

“You sure you won this ship fair and square?”

“Darling!” He mocks surprise. “Of course!”

You raise an eyebrow but just shrug. “Fine, but let’s not get arrested this time, shall we?”

Lando lets out a deep belly-laugh, prompting your own laughter to fall from your lips.

“Baby, we’re going wherever you desire.” He tosses you a wink.

You stare out into space, a small smile growing on your face.

“Gambling. Nar Shaddaa. Don’t tell my sister.”

“I love the way you think!”

You pull the lever, grinning as the Falcon bursts into the blue rays of hyperspace.

[stanbillyhargrove]

Demons - The Rewrite

Chapter 24: Beauty In Death

TW: SUICIDE

Billy’s POV

Cat woke up sick the next morning. Her body just couldn't handle being out in the cold for as long as she had been. Steve, Max and I spent our time nursing her back to health. Bringing her tea and medicine. Tried to get her to eat some soup but everytime she did, she'd end up in the bathroom puking.

She got a fever on the third day. Woke up soaked in sweat and shivering. I skipped school for the morning to stay with her while she drifted in and out of sleep. Switched with Steve at lunch so we didn't fall too far behind on our classes.

We had to call Julie that night. Steve was helping Cat stand up and she had passed out. Just crumpled like a rag doll. Luckily, Steve caught her before she hit the floor or the table.

Julie brought some antibiotics home on her break and thanked us for taking care of Cat before leaving again.

She lasted a few more weeks with Steve and I trying our hardest to never leave her alone. She tried as best as she could to put on a happy front and pretend everything was okay. Max hung around her a lot, keeping that little spark of hope alive. We tried splitting up the nights with her so only one of us would be with Cat every night in hope that the other would be able to relax but both Steve and I had been restless on nights we were alone so we both ended up spending every night at Cat’s. The three of us would pass out sprawled against one another on the couch or Steve would take the couch while Cat and I slept in her room. There were a few times where Steve would drift off behind Cat, holding her so gently, and I would have to leave. I’d go outside to smoke and push down the spark of jealousy in my chest that set me on edge.

But I found myself thinking of Steve almost like a brother and I knew he loved Cat too. And I had to let them have that, let her have all the good in her life that she could.

We drove her to and from school and spent every possible second with her. But it had been exhausting, draining and we were starting to feel run down. Steve had been having a hard time staying awake during class, during basketball practice he had no energy and had been benched the past few days. I knew I was hitting that point of exhaustion too, my brain felt foggy and I was having a hard time focusing on anything.

And now there was a big game this week against a rival team. Coach had pulled Steve and I aside. Told us to get our shit together for the game or don't bother coming back to the team. Told us not to embarrass him.

Then the day of the game came and we were ready. We'd spent the last few nights trying to get as much sleep as we could. Cat seemed to be doing a little better so it made it easier to sleep.

"You're coming to the game, right?" Steve asked Cat.

We were in the parking lot after school. The game didn't start for a couple hours.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," she smiled, "I just need to get this assignment done. Mom will drive me back later."

Steve pulled her in for a hug, "see you later."

Cat gave Steve a quick smile, “love you, Stevie,” and squeezed his shoulder before getting in the front seat of the Camaro.

I pulled up to her house and noticed the driveway was empty except for Cat's broken down car, “your mom isn't home. Should I stay?"

Cat smiled, squeezed my hand lightly, “she'll be here soon, go get ready for your game," she leaned over to press her lips against mine, "love you, B."

I got home and scarfed down a sandwich that Susan made me before getting ready for the game. I was almost ready when Max appeared in my door.

"Is Cat coming to watch the game too?"

"Yeah, her mom's bringing her. You gunna save her a seat?"

She nodded, "I gotta tell her we finally beat the high score on that game at the arcade."

"Wow, good job, Max. She'll be proud," I said, grabbing my bag from the floor, "you ready?"

Jump.

Score.

The whistle blew.

Half time.

Our team crowded together to cheer for our last second point. Hands clapped my back. People in the stands cheered.

But when Steve and I looked out to the stands, we didn't see her.

I caught Max's eye and mouthed, "Cat?"

She shrugged and shook her head and disappointment settled heavy in my gut.

Steve and I were pulled into the locker room with the rest of the team.

He leaned in to whisper, "where is she?"

I shrugged, "don't know," I whispered back as our coach came in.

My mind was racing while our coach spoke. Is she okay? Is her mom with her? Why isn't she here? She was supposed to be here.

The rest of the game went by in a blur. The final whistle blew and we were swept up in the cheering of our celebrating team.

"We should check on her," Steve said quietly when our team started to disperse into the locker room.

"She did say her mom would be home tonight, maybe they're spending time together."

Steve didn't look convinced.

"I'll drop Max off, you pick up something to eat and we'll meet there. She's okay."

She has to be.

When I pulled up to the house, Steve had just pulled up and was getting out of his car.

Julie's car still wasn't there.

We hurried up to the door and let ourselves in.

"Cat?" I called.

We waited a second, slipping off our shoes. Steve walked in and set a box of pizza down on the kitchen counter.

"Cat?" He yelled, worry growing.

There was a note taped to the fridge, "Be back in a couple weeks. Be good, mom."

It dawned on me, "she wasn't coming home today.."

Steve took off running, grabbing Cat's bedroom doorframe to stop himself before ducking in.

"Cat?"

My heart was threatening to pound out of my chest.

“Cat?” I called, my voice ringing through the house, "Hello?"

Steve was panicking, shaking like a fucking leaf and cursing under his breath. I swallowed past the lump in my throat and pushed forward to the bathroom. Wrapped my fingers around the doorknob and twisted.

Click.

Locked.

Steve came forward to knock on the door, "Cat?

Silence.

I rattled the handle, "Cat? Can you answer me?"

We waited a second, holding our breath.

Nothing.

Steve stepped back a bit, shaking his head.

His voice hitched, "Cat, please?"

I pounced my fist against the door, "Cat, open the door!"

"Cat!" Steve yelled, losing his composure as he slammed his hand against the wood.

I pounded on the door harder, rattled the door know again, "Cat! Come on!"

Steve slammed his shoulder against the door and choked on tears.

"Back up," I said as I stepped away from the door.

I threw myself into the door as hard as I could. Wood cracked loudly under my shoulder, but not enough.

Steve had his hands in his hair, fingers clenched tight in his locks. His whole body tense.

I ran across the hall and threw my weight into the door again.

Wood splintered and gave way. The door flung open, swinging into the wall behind it.

I felt my knees give out when I saw what waited inside.

Cause while Steve had dealt with this before, had lived through this before, I wasn’t prepared for this.

Suddenly I was thrown into a memory of the first time Neil gave me a bloody nose when I was young and I couldn’t stop staring at the blood running down my face.

While I sunk to the ground, Steve leaped over me, a string of curses spilling from his lips.

“Fuck, fucking call someone! Jesus,” Steve ordered, hands shaking as he whipped around to grab towels.

I didn’t hear him, couldn’t hear him past the sound of my own blood rushing in my ears. I felt like my lungs had filled with cement and I couldn’t gulp in enough air to fill them anymore.

Steve looked at me and scrambled over to grab at my arms, “jesus, Hargrove. Fucking, get over here,” he pulled me across the floor and wrapped my hands around Cat’s arms, “squeeze tight."

His hands left bloody prints up my arms. Her blood.

“But…you..last time..she's okay, right?"

“This is worse, we need help," he squeezed my hands around her arms, "tight. Don’t let go.”

My jaw worked with words that wouldn’t find their way past my tongue as Steve released me to run out of the room.

Worse? I couldn’t imagine how there could be a better or worse to this.

“Hello? I need an ambulance,” Steve’s watery voice echoed through the house, “my friend, she slit her wrists…”

I stopped listening, my only focus the metallic tang that hung thick in the air, coating the inside of my nose until I felt nauseous.

“Cat?” I croaked, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Baby. Please, please come back, just look at me, okay? Please? Just open your eyes, Baby,” I begged, trying to keep an iron grip on her arms but wanting so desperately to shake her until she woke up.

Steve came hurrying back into the bathroom, a red mark smeared across his cheek where he’d wiped at his face, “they’ll be here soon.”

He crowded beside me and grabbed at Cat’s face, leaving a matching smear, “hey, come on. Wake up, we’re here. We got you, okay? You gotta stay with us.”

She didn’t move when Steve shook her, and she was so pale. It crossed my mind that maybe we were too late.

My eyes burned as tears spilled down my cheeks, my arms shook and my knuckles were turning stark white against the red towels.

“Steve,” I choked, “I.. I don’t, what…why..?”

Steve chewed his lip, worried at it so much I thought he’d break skin, “fuck. I don’t know, I don’t know what to do. We just gotta try to keep her from bleeding out until the ambulance gets here,” he tried to shake her again and got no response, “mother fucker! Come on, asshole! Open your fucking eyes!”

My jaw ticked as anger spiked in my chest, “don’t swear at her!"

Steve whipped his head around to glare at me through dewy eyes, “really? You think me swearing is going to make this any worse?”

“I don’t know, Steve! Is it going to make it any fucking better?” I spat.

Steve opened his mouth to start yelling at me when he heard sirens coming closer and instead stood up with a huff, “stay here.”

“The fuck else do you think I’m gunna go?” I growled under my breath as he left.

“Please,” I pleaded, barely keeping myself from sobbing, “please, Cat. You can’t..you can’t fucking leave me like this. You just need to hold on, okay? Just stay with me, please. It'll be okay, everything will be okay. Just hold on."

I didn’t have to wait long before Steve hurried back with a couple paramedics holding a stretcher. They crowded into the bathroom, one man gently moving me out of the way to grab at Cat, fingers moving everywhere to test for a pulse and lift her eyelids.

Steve and I could only hear snippets of what they were saying to each other.

“Unconscious…non responsive….we’re gonna need an IV…I’ve got a heartbeat, barely."

They moved to lift her onto the stretcher and hurried back out to the ambulance with Steve and I following behind.

"Is she okay?" I asked, following behind.

They didn't answer, just hurried to load her into the ambulance. One of the men climbed into the back with her and went to close the door but was stopped by me grabbing the door.

"Sir, I need you to let go."

"I'm coming," I said, trying to climb into the ambulance.

He held up a hand, stopping me, “I’m sorry, immediate family only in the ambulance. You guys will have to follow us, call her parents.”

I looked at the man’s stupid freckled face, his stupid kind eyes and had to stop myself from tackling the man to the ground.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Do you see parents? We’re all she has! We have to go with her! I need to know she’s okay!” I shouted.

“Sir! You need to calm down,” the man replied sternly, “can’t let you in. Rules."

Steve grabbed my bicep and pulled gently, “Billy, let them go. They need to go,” he urged.

I tensed, my face going stony and backed away from the ambulance doors as Steve pulled at me with a shaking hand.

Steve was shaking violently as the ambulance drove away, sirens blaring. He never let go of my arm, he held tight like he thought I might bolt or he might collapse if he were to let go.

When the ambulance was out of sight, I turned and pulled my keys out of my pocket, “let’s go.”

Steve shook his head, “no, I need to, we gotta..we can’t leave that mess.”

I glared at him, I didn’t want to have to face that again, but followed Steve inside anyway. I followed Steve back to the bathroom where he dutifully handed me a couple towels and started filling the tub with hot water. We started wiping up the blood silently, neither of us ready to break the silence as we turned the bath water red from rinsing out the towels. It was eery, seeing the outline of where Cat had been slumped on the floor, clean and empty against the pool of dark red. I stuck my hand in the middle of the clean spot and felt my chin begin to waver. It was too much, seeing the blood pooled on the floor and sprayed up onto the cabinet, the smeared hand print on the edge of the tub next to shining metal.

“Steve,” I choked out.

He looked up at me with big, glassy eyes, there was a steady stream running down his cheeks that he hadn’t bothered to wipe away. With a huff I threw down the towel I had been cleaning with and stalked out of the house into the front yard. I fumbled to pull a cigarette out of my jacket and light it, my hands shaking and leaving red prints everywhere. Steve didn’t follow me, I was by myself with the weight of the world on my chest.

What am I gunna do if she…?

If she’s gone…forever?

I smoked through my last three cigarettes quickly, relishing in the acrid burn of my lungs until I went to grab another and found my pack empty. I screamed out a curse and threw the empty carton across the lawn and collapsed to the ground, holding my head in my hands and sobbing violently.

I should’ve fucking been here, she shouldn’t have been alone.

I knew, deep down, that she wasn't getting better. I had just been stupid enough to hope. To hope that she'd turn a corner, that her mom would be here to make sure she was okay.

But she wasn’t here, nobody was. And Cat was alone.

And that's my fault.

I sat there, wallowing in my anger and despair until my chest stopped heaving and my breath started to come normally again.

Briefly, I wondered if she left a note, something explaining why I wasn’t enough. Why we weren't enough to keep her alive.

I set my jaw, wiped at my cheeks and slowly got back to my feet to go back inside. I could hear Steve’s heart wrenching sobs as soon as I walked inside and followed them to find him curled up on the floor in Cat’s room, his head buried in his bloody knees. I gently knelt down next to him, twisting my fingers together in my lap.

“Don’t got any cigarettes to offer you,” I muttered, my voice scratchy and rough.

Steve sniffed and took a shuddering breath, “she didn’t call or anything...I tried s-so fucking hard.”

“I know,” I placed a hand on his back gently, “I know you did. We did all we could, Steve.”

“We should go..” he whispered.

“Yeah, okay,” I agreed, standing back up and extending a hand to him.

He puffed out another long breath before taking my hand to pull himself off the floor. Before I could think, Steve had collapsed into my shoulder, his arms gripping at my back in a crushing embrace as he choked out another sob.

“I should have been here, we shouldn’t have left her alone. This is my fucking fault,” he cried.

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders firmly and grit my teeth before trying to talk past the knot in my throat, “Steve. Come on, it’s not your fault.”

@charmed-asylum​

[talas-starlight]

Can i get a fluffy headcannon for suki x fem!reader? Since my birthday is coming up, I’d like to see what she would do for her girlfriend on her special day. I want all that soft shit if you need more specifics then you can just like message me bro - @simpinforsukka

A/N: Happy birthday!!! 🥳🥳 Omg omg I hope you had an amazing day and please accept my (awful) gift to you,,, YALL this is my first headcannon & request and omfg this was a lot harder than I expected HAHAHAHA BHRIDFVG ☠️ 🤣🤣 – also I think this is a bit longer than a normal headcannon is supposed to be??? & I think I low key did it wrong AHAHAHAH - I really don’t know my friens oop but i hope you like it! @simpinforsukka​ 💖💖💖

• OKIE so let’s establish something real quick,,

• You were not expecting anything on your birthday- well anything extravagant that is 

• Suki is super sweet and supportive of your passions, just as you are of hers, so generally in past years she would let you take the lead,, happily joining along just to make your day brighter 

• Yet of course this year,, she’s learnt quite a lot about your likes and dislikes from past years hence making the decision to take the lead 

• SO IMAGINE YOUR SURPRISE WHEN SHE ROCKS UP AT YOUR HOME INSTEAD OF YOU STEALING HER AWAY FROM ZUKO FOR THE DAY 

• Well actually, you weren’t really surprised more so discombobulated when you naturally woke up to her on top of you

• Arms wrapped securely around your waist 

• Head nestled into your neck, with her hair tickling your chin

• But you were able to fight the urge to freak out at the initial shock of finding someone in your bed fast asleep- as you soon realised it was your girlfriend 

• Yet you were unable to fight the happy tears welling up in your eyes 

• because even thougH zuko would ALWAYS be more than willing to allow suki to come visit you - you rarely woke up together in such a peaceful way 

• let alone on special occasions like birthdays 

• because tbh the guilt of taking her away from the duties she was so proud of doing always ate you up inside 

• ANYWAY, so suki being as skilled as she is, sensed your uneven breathing and woke up

• “Baby? What’s wrong? Did you have a nightmare?”

• Okok so now she was fussing over you and you tried to diffuse the situation 

• “No, I’m okay- yes suki I promise!! I’m just really happy you’re here”

• QUEUE THE 🥺🥺🥺 FROM SUKI 

• Realising why you were so happy, she squeezed her arms around you even tighter (but not tight enough to break ur ribs because I knoW she could) 

• *insert cute, slow & soft make out session because happiness and yoU BOTH DESERVE IT*

Okok now time for the proper festivities!!!

• So, after your wonderful reunion suki takes you on a lil trip/ game 

• NOW what this involves is that whatever age you’re turning is the number of things she has install for you for the day 

• Okie so foR the first item of the day she serves you your favourite cake for BREAKFAST because who cares about eating norms when its your birthday 

• And if you don’t like cake its your favourite celebratory meal 

• Following this she takes you to all of the places your love 

• if it involves travelling, she uses one of the fire nation hot balloons that she stole because she can

• So throughout the day she throws in some significant places/ activities that relate to the two of you 

• BECAUSE you’re with suki and you’re GUNNA have some places that make the both of you soft even if you’re not that much of an affectionate or sentimental type of person 

• And the ENTIRE day you’re just in awe realising how much your girl actually pays attention to what you love and what you care about 

• Like she’s a total SWEETHEART and a total BADASS but there are multiple points throughout the day where she just made you think 

• “is this really my life?” 

• Tbh you were already over yue that she came to your home while you were sleeping just so she could spend all of your special day with you 

• & you would’ve been more than content with just staying in bed all loved up 

• OKAY BUT SEE WHAT I DID THERE – OVER YUE??? OVER THE MOON???? I'm a comedic genius take it or leave it

• AND LET ME TELL YALL she one-upped herself with every single thing she did with you that day 

NOW FOR THE GRAND FINALE 

• Okay so you just finished your second last activity for the day, and you were genuinely wondering what she could possibly have planned for you with the last one 

• So, you were both taking a stroll through the woods and the sun has already set 

• Honestly you were a tiny bit concerned – like why does someone take their girlfriend into the woods, IN THE DARK

• But she was doing so well all day, you didn’t want to jump to conclusions

• And she leads you to an open field 

• Your jaw DROPS 

• you’re just like… “what is all of this?”

• before you in said field are dozens of lanterns, a giant fire pit with a LEGITIMATE FEAST on a GIANT wooden table 

• you have no idea how you’re supposed to consume all of that with just suki

• anyway, she fully LAUGHS AT YOU 

• “just wait my love”

• THEN OUT OF THE LITERAL SKY HERE COMES APPA WOOHOO 

• “Did you really think our friends would allow me to keep you all to myself on your special day?”

• now it was your turn to laugh

• so, when he lands ALL of your friends come running towards you

• you’re legit tackled into one giant hug as they all scream 

• “HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYY!!!!!”

• Ngl tho sokka was the last one there because he got side-tracked staring at the food 

• You were so overwhelmed with happiness that you cried for the second time that day

• And then they cried because you were crying over how happy you were (yeS EVEN TOPH LET OUT A TEAR)

• Then eventually you all got over your tears and to sokkas relief you spoke out jokingly 

• “LET THE FEAST BEGIN!” 

• So, for the rest of the night, you joked, laughed, and cried (just a little bit more) with all of your best friends around you 

• But that didn’t stop you from turning to suki with a loving smile as multiple conversations broke out around the table a few hours into the night 

• “Thank you, my love, for everything.”

TAGLIST: I'm not guna put one here honestly because idk if anyone wants to be for stuff like this or if they only want to be tagged in my fire nations assassin series sooooo lmk if you do want to be added to other alta content & I'm scared ppl are guna get mad at me for tagging them in female character content LMAO AHAHHA 

also if you liked this and want to send in ur own request you're more than welcome just read the rules first please :)) rules are: here!

masterlist is: here!

[doingthingsthewriteway]

Confession

Summary: Two friends confess in a club. 

Warnings: smidge of angst

He wasn’t entirely sure how things escalated to this point. Well, maybe that was a lie. He was certain it had to do with the fishnets and glittery lipstick. Yeah, that was definitely a factor. Whatever ever the reason, and undoubtedly there were many, Dom knew he was screwed. Not in the “I’m gunna get some tonight, laddies” but in the “My heart is getting ripped out my chest I’m gunna cry into my beer” screwed. 

So he did. At least enough to smudge his eyeliner, make look a bit pathetic. Yeah, that would do it. With his chin held high and nonexistent tittes out, he crossed the room. Bodies occasionally bumped into him, limbs flying out in passion or rage. He’d offer a cheeky grin or maybe a wink sliding his way to her. 

Looking back, if he had known she was going to show up, he might have worn a skirt of his own. Nothing says “See my undying love of you, we’re meant to be together dumb that prick” like matching skirts. 

The closer he got, his eyes widened. No, his darling wasn't wearing a skirt. She had forgone any sort of pant all together. A muscle shirt several sizes too big covered just enough to pass as a dress. It was streaked with bleach, a faded Rolling Stones logo on the front. Fuck me, he thought. Seriously, fuck him. Swallowing, he forced his eyes shut begging for whatever heat pooled in his lower belly to subside. These pants were far too tight and he couldn’t expose himself now, especially not in front of him. 

Fuck that guy. Well, he didn’t want Y/N to. Any other girl or boy would certainly have a trip with the asshole, Dom wouldn’t care. Just cared about his girl is all. “Hey sexy.” Dumbass, he thought. Of all the things to say that’s what you go with? Pathetic honestly. 

Her attention quickly snapped from The Asshole to Dom and yeah his heart melted a little. Or a lot. “You must be talking about yourself, babe.” 

Thank God the club was dark otherwise his cheeks would have been a delightful shade of pink for the world to see. “Bleh.” He poked out his tongue. “Hey man.” Yeah, that was masculine enough to appease The Asshole. Said asshole nodded in response. 

“You owe me a drink.” Y/N was firm, innocent eyes boring into Dom’s. “You promised me you’d buy me one and I need to cash in.” 

Offering his arm with a dramatic bow, he led her back toward the corner of the room he had staked out. Colson lounged on a couch, smoking something or another and tossed up a hand. Y/N waved back, relieved that Colson was here because when she told Dom, if she told Dom, then fuck someone would need to step in. 

“Gotta say, I’m a fan of the fishnets. Would’ve worn me own if I knew you were coming.” Dom kept a hand on her waist, respectfully between the peaks and valleys he so desperately wanted to touch. 

“It was last minute.” Short response, slight edge to her voice. Was this the trouble in paradise Dom had been praying for? “Nothing else looked right.”

“Or did he say that?” Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Dom tugged at his hair, biting at his raspberry tinted lips. 

“I need to, I, oh fuck Dom I don’t know how to say this.” Y/N was looking everywhere but at Dom. Tears worked their way into the glittery on her cheeks, creating a glistening trail in their wake. 

With a tenderness reserved just for her, he stroked her jaw nudging her glance up to him. “C’mon, love, you can’t go sayin’ shit like that and not look at me.” 

“He proposed.” 

It took everything in him not to tighten his hold on her. Not out of anger, never to hurt her. Ever. “The fuck? That’s, that’s mental. No.” 

 Y/N shook her year, curls tossed around as she began to shake. “I told him I needed to see you before I said anything. He’s pissed. Said if I really loved him I wouldn't need to do that.” 

Dom was attached to her now, clinging to her in a way that to the rest of the club looked sweet, passionate even. “Why do you need to talk to me? You can make your own choices.” If he hiccuped, he’d blame it on the alcohol not the raging pain in his chest. 

Five seconds passed. Then 10. Silence in a place so loud with a person that loves you so much is deafening. Everything stopped. Y/N was close to puking, she was sure of it. Her heart pounded at her chest, begging to be let out and belong to Dom. 

“I need to know if there is any chance that you love me that way I love you.” 

So there it was, spoken like a confession given to a priest. Two years of friendship and late nights holding each other in bed. Two years of thinking there was chance only for someone new to come along. Two years to stolen glances burned into brains to save for late nights alone. 

“Ya love me?” Dom straightend up quickly, bouncing from one foot to the next. Little whimpers of excitement radiated from his throat. “You’re not fucking with me, you love me?” 

“Yes.” It was a squeak, barely a sound. “More than anything.” 

He started to tremble with excitement, a laugh working its way out. “Fucking hell honey, I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life alone.” It wasn’t the exact words but the sentiment was still there. 

“What do you want me to do? Fight him? Defend your honor? Duel to the death? I will, you know I will.” 

Y/N nuzzled her nose under his chin, squeezing him tightly. “Just sneak me out the back and take me home.” 

Well, he could certainly do that. 

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 15/05/2021 (Coldplay, J. Cole, Trippie Redd & Playboi Carti)

I’m awful at predicting this chart, I really am, but most of that is probably down to how I only make vague predictions at the end of each episode without even considering most releases that’ll actually chart. Let’s just say I didn’t expect nine new arrivals this week. At the top, however, little has changed as the absolutely huge “Body” by Russ Millions and Tion Wayne with a remix featuring whoever the hell is spending its second week at #1. The rest of the chart, however, gets a bit more interesting. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

The biggest story to effect the chart this week is of course 2021’s BRIT Awards happening this Tuesday, which I’m sure boosted a lot of songs during the mid-week. I also actually covered the awards show on that day if you’re curious, with some of my observations, predictions and opinions. We can very clear see – or hear, for that matter – the impact of the BRIT Awards in this week’s chart, as it did cause a lot of gains and new arrivals that shook up the chart right in the middle of the tracking week. Firstly, we do have some drop-outs from the UK Top 75, which is what I cover, only one of them, “Paradise” by MEDUZA and Dermot Kennedy, being all that important given it was a top five hit but we do have a handful that lasted five or more weeks or peaked in the top 40, like “Medicine” by James Arthur flopping embarrassingly, “Addicted” by Jorja Smith dropping out to prepare for the rebound next week given her album release and “Solid” by Young Stoner Life, Young Thug and Gunna featuring Drake.

Speaking of Drake, he also provides the singular returning entry as “Wants and Needs” featuring Lil Baby is proving to be the actual hit from that three-pack from March, coming back to #65. Scaling down the chart, we also have some notable losses, songs that dropped at least five spots on this week’s chart. Those that fell include “Your Power” by Billie Eilish dropping harshly to #15 off of the debut, as well as “Your Love (9PM)” by ATB, Topic and A7S at #18, “Confetti” by Little Mix to #21 off of the return (with Saweetie, the artist quite literally solely the reason it’s had this second wind, still bizarrely left without a credit by the UK Singles Chart), “My Head & My Heart” by Ava Max at #27, “Titanium” by Dave at #31, “Wellerman” by Nathan Evans and remixed by 220 KID and Billen Ted (yes, THEY’RE credited) at #36, “Patience” by KSI featuring YUNGBLUD and Polo G at #42, “Heartbreak Anniversary” by Giveon at #44, “We’re Good” by Dua Lipa at #47, “Way Too Long” by Nathan Dawe, Anne-Marie and MoStack at #49, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #51, “Beautiful Mistakes” by Maroon 5 and Megan Thee Stallion at #55, “Don’t Play” by Anne-Marie, KSI and Digital Farm Animals at #56, “Calling My Phone” by Lil Tjay and 6LACK at #59, “Commitment Issues” by Central Cee at #67, “You” by Regard, Troye Sivan and Tate McRae at #69, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd at #70, “Hold On” by Justin Bieber getting ACR’d at #71, “Streets” by Doja Cat at #73 and finally, “6 for 6” by Central Cee at #75.

Filling up the room for those losses, however, are the gains, always a tad more interesting, as the songs that rose at least five spots on this week’s chart – or make their first appearance in the top 40, 20 or 10 – are usually having the BRITs to thank to some capacity. The climbers include “Summer 91 (Looking Back)” giving Noizu his first top 40 hit at #31 (and I’ll admit, the song is growing on me), Griff also getting her first with “Black Hole” at #35 thanks to her win and performance at the BRITs, “WITHOUT YOU” by The Kid LAROI rebounding to #13 thanks to that once-again uncredited remix with Miley Cyrus and finally, entering the top 10 for the first time is “Anywhere Away from Here” by Rag’n’Bone Man and P!nk at #9, getting the boost from a perfect trifecta of gains: Rag’n’Bone Man released his album on Friday then on Tuesday had the closing performance of this song at the BRIT Awards with additional vocals from the Lewisham and Greenwich NHS choir, who are also now appearing on a new release of the song the day after, prompting a whole lot of sales, of which I assume and hope are going to charity. It’s Rag’n’Bone Man’s third top 10 hit, P!nk’s 21st(!) and interestingly enough, the NHS choir’s second top 10 hit as they had the Christmas #1 back in 2015. With all of that out of the way, I suppose it’s time to get to our varied array of new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#74 – “Dick” – Starboi3 featuring Doja Cat

Produced by Nius and SoFLY

This week is kind of a weird week if that wasn’t immediately obvious as our new arrivals are kind of all over the place, starting with... well, I think I could say less about the song than the title does. Starboi3 is this SoundCloud rapper from New Jersey who made a song with Doja back in 2019 – I assume she was more accessible for features back then –and it didn’t blow up at all, really, giving Starboi3 some additional traction but not until 2020, in which Doja Cat got her #1 hit and TikTok picked up this explicit single as a new sound. Sadly – or thankfully – the song was never released officially onto streaming until very recently, meaning, surely, the hype’s over by now? The answer to that is no, as it’s climbing up charts in both the UK and the Bubbling Under in the US... so there’s got to be something good about this song, right? Well, no. Not at all. Of course, that is subjective, but I do question your sanity if you’re honestly enjoying this unlikeable nobody shout “Dick!” over a basic, no-melody trap instrumental with heavy 808s not too dissimilar to drill, before going into a beyond basic chorus and verse about, well, you can guess, with rhymes sounding either like an awful freestyle or a kid with a rhyming dictionary. “She not with him tonight, she not with Jim tonight”? Of course, that’s in the post-chorus because if there’s one thing this song needs, it’s a freaking post-chorus. I also don’t think Starboi3 realises that making her scream for her parents is quite the opposite of sexy – or even raunchy and mindless, as it’s actually just creepy and terrifying. Speaking of terrifying, Doja Cat is here and not even she can add a less basic flow with a verse that just ends up going in one ear and out the other, even if I do like the seductive backing vocals that at least try to make this not a slow, joyless slog. However, I do NOT like the Pickle Rick reference. To be fair, this was 2019, but also to be fair, never reference that again, I am begging you. This is a disaster on all fronts and probably one of the worst tracks I’ve had to review in this series. Good start!

#64 – “Freaks” – Surf Curse

Produced by Surf Curse

This new song is actually even older, being released initially as a deep cut from this Nevada duo’s 2013 album. As you’ll probably tell, this is charting off of people streaming after hearing the song on TikTok and, I mean, at least the song’s actually good this time, careening off of a clearly surf-inspired clean riff surrounded by some basic drumming and a good bassline. It’s not great as it does feel increasingly basic as I said, almost like one of those local bands that don’t get much national attention or traction but do play some gigs and get some love at those places, to the point where it’s kind of big if they play shows outside of their region... which makes sense because that is exactly what they are. This is just some band from Reno but here it is charting on the UK Singles Chart and while it’s here, I should say whilst there’s not much here to discuss given how minimal it is, Nick Rattigan’s vocals are fittingly desperate for the theme of social alienation and particularly rejection as it’s pretty obvious he’s aiming venom at himself for a bad break-up, although given the sound and tone of the song, probably his first, with that double meaning of the mantra in the outro, “I won’t wake up this time”, potentially being a crushing line for someone in similar circumstances. That’s not me, exactly, so this doesn’t hit, but I’m glad that Machine Gun Kelly song from last week got replaced with some actually decent alternative rock on the chart. I hope this does well.

#60 – “One Day” – Lovejoy

Produced by Cameron Nesbitt

“One Day” is the biggest track from new English rock band Lovejoy’s debut EP, Are You Alright?, and whilst I was planning on not mentioning the fact that the band is fronted by Minecraft YouTuber Wilbur Soot, that is the only reason it’s charting – and he’s charted with “Your New Boyfriend” a couple months back, a song that I actually kind of liked. It’s also immediately obvious in the writing that this comes from an Internet personality, with some not-so-well-woven detail and increasingly gratuitous self-awareness that eventually cycles back and ends up as seeming like they have none at all... okay, like most indie bands but that’s beside the point. This happens to be Wilbur’s least favourite song on the release – one that I haven’t listened to because even if I’m not too old for mindless pop music, Minecraft YouTuber alt-rock may be where I draw the line – and I can completely understand the distaste for this given that it starts with the line, “Why’d you have to kill my cat?” I also have some qualms with the song sonically as it may be the most derivative rock single I’ve heard on this series, given how obviously it rips from indie rock bands of the 2000s, with an oddly clean mix that doesn’t exactly fit the obvious stream-of-consciousness lyrics and Wilbur’s erratic delivery. Also, there’s a whole lot of trumpet on this song, which I guess is a surprise, but that doesn’t make up for a drummer who can clearly play very well but has to chaotically play over a song with practically no groove. I do like that second chorus in how it builds up to a somewhat anti-climactic guitar solo but as a full song I do not really get the appeal of this that I don’t get out of other post-punk revival bands from decades back who are still pumping out music. This isn’t bad – I swear, don’t dox me – but I just want something more compelling from this. I will always be glad regardless of the quality that we have more rock on the chart, though, even if this’ll be gone by next week.

#57 – “It’s a sin” – Years & Years and Elton John

Produced by Stuart Price and the Pet Shop Boys

One of my favourite performance from the BRIT Awards this year was Olly Alexander of Years & Years sharing the stage with the iconic Elton John to cover Pet Shop Boys’ “It’s a Sin” which had renewed interest from last year as it was the namesake for a hit TV series about HIV/AIDS, for which this fittingly played a role and has kind of been recontextualised as a gay anthem, which makes complete sense if you look at its lyrics about the Church telling Neil Tennant “how to be”. It’s also one of the Pet Shop Boys’ most camp and theatrical songs, so giving it to Years & Years and Elton John to cover for the BRIT Awards make all too much sense. No, they’re not able to live up to the theatricality of the original, especially if Alexander’s vocals are going to be this clearly manipulated at points, but with Elton John’s piano laying a perfect foundation for the rising intensity of the track, we do get a sense of that original melodrama, with the synth-work and house groove coming in before Elton John’s voice, sounding smokier and wiser with age, and in my opinion, more compelling as a vocalist, especially if they’re both going to sell this song with the most convicted of deliveries. I don’t think a cover could ever live up to that original iconic track but if anyone’s going to get close, it’s Elton John. Expect this to rise next week.

#50 – “Never Left” – Lil Tecca

Produced by ThankYouWill, Taz Taylor and Cxdy

I’ll always be annoyed that Lil Tecca blew up as a rapper instead of a producer, as I don’t think this guy has any likeability or charisma about his flow, cadence or delivery, and that’s only after you get over how dry and whiny his voice can get. However, he can make some great and incredibly infectious beats for other rappers, including a song I see becoming a hit soon in SoFaygo’s “Knock Knock”, which I will bet on at least making the Billboard Hot 100 if not the UK Singles Chart. It’s unbelievably catchy. With that said, Tecca is here in the form of some SoundCloud raps over a boring synth pluck and vaguely tropical Internet Money trap beat, sounding and flowing way too much like Gunna for his own benefit, or Gunna’s benefit, if we’re honest, as this shows how easily he can be replaced. I usually don’t write off this type of rap and will absolutely defend it, but this song isn’t even catchy or unique. I mean, I don’t like “Ransom” either but at least it was kind of fun and I still know the lines in the chorus a couple years later. I’ll forget all about this by next week if it doesn’t stick around. At least he shouts out Chief Keef. God, I hope he charts sometime, that’d be funny.

#45 – “All I Know So Far” – P!nk

Produced by Greg Kurstin

So, P!nk is back but not with a studio album, rather an upcoming live album in which the two new, original songs are about or featuring her daughter. This is the second single from said album and is probably coasting off her appearance at the BRITs in terms of a relatively high chart debut. I’ve never been that big a fan of P!nk but she has her classics, none of which are in the past 15 years but that’s beside the point. This single in particular is an acoustic ballad dedicated to her daughter in which P!nk provides a rapid intensity alongside pretty great-sounding acoustic guitars, pounding drums and strings that sells the content about empowering yourself, with some nice lyrical detail about always being yourself, basically, which would come off as cliché and preachy if it weren’t for some oddly specific lyrics in those verses and the chorus that basically just tell her daughter that despite the fact the world will constantly try to crack down on her and everything she does much like life does to anyone but especially women, she should stand up for herself and what she believes in. However, none of that cuts deep when she’s being raised by a millionaire, huh? There’s little Hell to be put through when you’re born with a silver spoon, huh, Willow? Regardless, this isn’t a bad pop song and its content isn’t as misguided as it is just sang by the wrong singer, although I’d find it hard to get a singer with as much rasp and wisdom in the mainstream to sell this as convincingly as P!nk does – vocally, not lyrically. This is a couple steps above that last single, “Cover Me in Sunshine” at least, which was just insidious. Next.

#32 – “Miss the Rage” – Trippie Redd featuring Playboi Carti

Produced by Loesoe

Okay, so all of our last three new arrivals are in the top 40 and we start with... o-okay, well, it’s 2021, anything can and will chart and I should know this by now, but it’s still surprising to see a song by these two guys debut so high, especially since Whole Lotta Red produced absolutely no charting hits in the UK outside of “@ MEH”, which doesn’t really count. This is Trippie’s highest-charting song ever in the UK that isn’t fronted by KSI, so I guess streaming must have been that good – also, the charts are still weak. For what it’s worth, I do like both Trippie and Carti to their respective extents, and I am aware that this is only as big as it was because of the hype from the leak, which also featured Mario Judah, and that in itself was a big song but it took years for Carti’s feature to be cleared by the label, as is infamously true for much of Carti’s work and even his last official collaboration with Trippie that was actually deleted after release. I’m still hoping on an official release for his verse on Yung Lean’s “Yayo”, but whilst we have this instead, I might as well talk about it and... Well, let me explain to you what I see as the appeal of these two rappers. That appeal is, mostly, that they don’t rap even though they both very much can. Trippie yells, moans, growls, screams and spends most of his work singing in his typical raspy, venomous voice, whilst Playboi Cart spits and coughs his way through substance-less ad-libs to the point where any actual wordplay or lyrical detail gets you excited for that brief moment. In this song, Trippie and Carti don’t eschew the typical role of a rapper and both just... rap normally, which would not be a complaint if they weren’t so bland in that role, which is the whole point of their unique, phlegm-filled deliveries in the first place. As a result, this song just ends up feeling empty, even if this awfully-mixed, bass-boosted beat with some lovely distorted video-game synths and hardly audible trap skitters does go incredibly hard. Don’t get me wrong: this is still catchy and Trippie flows very well over a beat that sounds made for him and Carti. Hell, Carti has grown on me so much recently that my fondness for this might just be me eating anything he releases up. With that said, he’s the worst part of the song as his baby-voice style emphasises how lacking this song is in just anything. I do like the wordplay at the tail-end of the verse as, yes, that happens, perhaps not as iconic as some of his other oddly profound or clever lines on his last record but at least it’s something. At least this is some interesting American trap, unlike...

#25 – “i n t e r l u d e” – J. Cole

Produced by J. Cole, Tommy Parker and T-Minus

The pandemic has affected the music industry to the point where big-name rappers release album interludes as lead singles. Said album has songs shorter than this interlude, with most of its dull filler feeling like additional interludes, quite unbefitting for such a big and hyped-up album from Cole which frankly is just another boring addition to an already consistently dull catalogue. I’m just not interested in what Cole has to say because he’s never been likeable and I feel like there’s better rappers that bridge the gap between old and new like how Cole sees himself as doing, the “MIDDLE CHILD”, perhaps, like, you know, Drake? If we want to go for a more direct comparison from lesser-known rappers, the direct comparison I use for this new record is Aminé’s latest, also made up of a variation of trap bangers featuring massive, charting names versus introspective, conscious lyrics, yet Aminé is an interesting character with quotable lyrics that aren’t embarrassing, knows how to write an actual hook and whilst he also brings on both classic and modern features, he’s never out-done by them, creating an actual bridge rather than just some guy who thinks he can write his own role in the industry and culture without his own music backing his case. Unfortunately for me, it works – every freaking time – largely because of his continually loyal fanbase but also a general public interest in the guy that I do not understand, especially when more than a decade into his career, he’s still pushing out mediocre projects. He cuts his album’s length by a ton and still ends up with a bloated record. I barely need to talk about the track itself, right? Even if it has as much structure and effort put into it as his normal songs do, it’s labelled quite literally as an interlude. Sigh, well, in this interlude, Jermaine raps over a drowned-out soul sample and admittedly, sticks to the topic of reminiscing on where he came from, the violence in Fayetteville, a similar violence of which was what killed Nipsey Hussle, who he compares amongst Pimp C and Jesus as they all died at 33. Cole himself is 36 so I guess for once he doesn’t think he’s Jesus. It took him a while to realise.

#12 – “Higher Power” – Coldplay

Produced by Max Martin, Oscar Holter and Bill Rahko

I assumed this would debut at #3 until the BRIT Awards performance gave it a boost to debut at the top but I guess everyone else had the same opinion of that awful opening performance as I did, because here it is at #12. Well, that doesn’t matter, right? Coldplay’s last album similarly underperformed... but at least that time, they had a genuinely ambitious album for once in their careers with some genuine experimentation and themes I did not expect to come out of Coldplay. It was a better album but not an accessible one, with its only pop single being a bittersweet anti-war anthem which trivialises bombing in the Middle East to onomatopoeia. It’s a great song but it wasn’t going anywhere, so it’s no surprise that their next lead single is a soulless synth-pop track produced by Max Martin. Admittedly, the synth tone in the intro is kind of unique in all its nasal 80s nostalgia, but, man, I thought we moved past just rehashing for a hit, Coldplay. This is pretty obviously just a crap attempt at being “Blinding Lights” which trades in its machine-gun loco-motive drum pattern for one that is a lot more stiff, and its iconic, memorable lyrics for a forgettable set of love-struck laziness. Oh, yeah, and Chris Martin is far from the Weeknd both in the studio and live at the BRIT Awards – seriously, dude sounded half-alive. This isn’t offensive, just a bore that is clearly a desperate label move ready for when they can tour again, and if their last record proved anything it was that Coldplay seemed like they were finally above that.

Conclusion

Well, that’s our week – again, a questionable one at best and kind of a bad one at worst. Either way, this is a strange array of songs and I do like how the UK Singles Chart subverts everything you’d expect of it so often that chaos becomes the trend, even if not all of it is any good. I guess Best of the Week goes to “Freaks” by Surf Curse, with an Honourable Mention to Elton John’s cover of “It’s a sin” with Years & Years. Surprisingly enough, J. Cole actually doesn’t get Worst of the Week as the album gets a lot worse than that interlude, so he gets a Dishonourable Mention alongside Starboi3’s “Dick” being crowned Worst of the Week, and honestly probably Worst of the Year so far, not that I’m keeping track of that. Here’s this week’s top 10:

What’s coming next week? More J. Cole, Olivia Rodrigo’s newest single and probably – and hopefully – some album tracks from Jorja Smith and Nicki Minaj. For now, though, thanks for reading. It’s a big week next week, and I’ll see you then!

[har-rison-s]

Spiders In Your Hair

Request: Hi! Can I have a Stan Uris x female reader who loooveesss playing with his hair because she too has curly hair like his (I'm self indulgent) and knows how good it feels when someone plays with it? (My hairs like to my mid neck and is curly like Wyatt's AND is the same color lmao) thanks dear, have a good day/night.

A/N: Cute!! The first Stan request and I'm executing it the third. But that's okay, can't help how my creativity floats. Floats, heheheehhe. Don't let me joke. I have the same hair as Wyatt, too, only I have golden brown-blonde curls, not brown. But his are so pretty.... Omfg. I'm melting. I hope this is what you were looking for! Happy reading!

IT masterlist

main masterlist

warnings: nothing, except talks of spiders

The Clubhouse was a place full of love and warmth, a place no one except the losers know and could uncover. They've done a good job at hiding it from anyone, thanks to Ben's incredibly high knowledge in architecture and nature's own cunning ways of concealing the lower levels.

But, as much as the sun shone through some holes in the ground accidentally made, it isn't enough sunbathing for Y/N. Plus, her hair heats up her head what with the curls being concealed by Stanley's bought shower-cap. Her shower-cap has hearts, he made sure of that when he was shopping for them.

She hates spiders, so she doesn't mind the shower-cap when she's in the Clubhouse. But it tends to irritate her skin, and she's glad when it's off, outside of the Clubhouse.

This being one of those days. Her hair is disobedient today of all days, when she had to meet Stan and the others and not stay at home with her family. She did wash it, but maybe her mother's shampoo isn't working for her hair. It's extremely dry and going in all directions. She can't control it.

“I'm going, um, upstairs,” she tells everyone with a smile and the crowd nods. Stan follow his girl suit, much rather glad to enjoy her company than to be hearing Richie and Eddie's eternal bickering. It's killing his nerves.

“Go, Stan, run after your girlie!” Richie mocks him, which earns him a hard jab in his left side from Beverly. Y/N only shakes her head and runs up the wooden stairs. 

She sighs once she's gotten the cap off and her hair waves all around her. She sits down by the tree that's almost next to the entrance, her head and back against the wooden base. She closes her eyes. She doesn't need sunglasses.

“Hey, lovely.” She hears Stan saying and she squeezes one eye open to look at him. Her face is scrunched up due to the sun rays and she looks ever so cute in his eyes. Stan smiles wide and walks over to her on his slightly wobbly, but firm legs. She's always loved his stance.

Y/N spreads her legs a little, her dress stretching along, and patting her lap. Stan giggles and gladly slays down in her lap, his head resting on her stomach. She gets a bit more comfortable, sliding down a little. For both their comfort. Her hands lay over his shoulders, palms on his chest and he reaches upwards with his hands to hold them. Her fingers are just as small as his own, but more slender.

“When are we leaving for camp again?” Stanley asks, looking up at his girlfriend. 

“Um... August 5th.” She says and slowly retracts her hands from Stanley's, going up in his hair instead. 

“Then we still have three weeks to pack.” He states and his eyelids drop at the feeling of her fingers going through his curls, gently touching his scalp. “Is there anything we need to take with us?”

“Nothing except for a blank, white t-shirt.” Y/N responds. Her fingers are parting his curls here and there, admiring how beautiful they look in the sunlight. Shining like the curls of an angel from heaven. He looks like an angel, and he is in all possible ways. “I bet you five bucks we're gonna make tie-dye shirts for ourselves.” She states.

Stan giggles, holding his stomach. “You—You don't even have five bucks.” He points out. Y/N joins him in laughing, both their laughter audible from inside the clubhouse. “Why do you think tie-dye?” Stan questions.

Y/N shrugs. “White shirts. Camp. Camp activities. Maybe we're gonna be painting on the shirts or something.” She wonders. His hair strands feel like ribbons around her fingers and hands. She could spend her whole life threading through the curls, watch as they grow longer until Stanley starts looking a bit like a dog with fur. She laughs inwardly at that.

“If we are, I'm gonna paint a Bohemian Waxwing.” Stan decides. 

“Oh, the pretty birdie with the grey, white and red feathers?” Y/N cheers and feels Stanley nodding his head under her hands. “That would be really pretty. Maybe you could paint more than one, as if they're sitting in a tree or on a... an electric wire. You know, the classic scenery.”

Stan chuckles and nods again. “That would be really cool.”

“It would be the coolest shirt ever, babe.” She tells him. 

“What would you paint on the shirt, love?” Stan questions and turns to lay on his back in her lap, taking her hands from his hair gingerly. He places his palms flat out against hers and, as they're looking at each other, he bends his fingers so that their hands are interlocked.

“Your eyes, I think.” She admits, looking into those hazel jewels. “Or your eyes and hair.” Stanley blushes, and he's not ashamed to show his crimson cheeks. He doesn't hide anything form her. He smiles wide. 

“It wouldn't exactly be fair to you that I'm painting a bird and you—me.” He states in a quiet voice. Y/N reaches her left palm to his curls again, brushing them off his forehead, behind his ear. 

“Well, really, it could be anyone.” She says. “Only you and I would know it's you. And that's okay, I'll forgive you.” She smiles, chuckling for a second. “You're better at drawing birds than people.”

“Hey!” Stan pokes her arm, but not too harshly. 

“We both know it. In fact, all of us do.” Y/N justifies. Stan rolls his eyes, but there's still a smile on his face. “It'll come with time, baby.”

“I'm gonna need more tutoring from you, then.” Stan then tells her and sits up to her level. His hand reaches for her hair behind her ear, his thumb soothing over her cheek. She almost falls into his hand, loving the touch. And even if her hair is beyond ugly today, she doesn't protest him touching her hair.

Stanley keeps his eyes on her, a peaceful lovingness in them. The sun on them is so warm they both feel like falling asleep on the spot. Stan pulls her lips to his in a slow, tender kiss. She puts her hand around the wrist he's holding her head with and pulls apart their lips. Their foreheads rest against one another. 

“With kissing like that you can expect much more than tutoring.” She tells him and they both giggle. 

“Oh, yeah? Like what?” He asks, his fingers twirling a curl of hers between them. 

“Well... Dinner with my family.” Y/N responds and bites her lip immediately, anxious about Stanley's response. He withdraws from her, eyes wide and eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Th-They want to invite me over for dinner?” He questions. Y/N raises her eyebrows, too, slightly. 

“My parents do want to meet the boy who I'm going to camp with.” She says. “And I think I'm finally ready to tell them about you. Like, about being together.” She tells him, looking down at her hands due to her shyness. But Stanley smiles so wide he even lets out a laugh of happiness.

He gives his girl many kisses on both her cheeks, making her blush and giggle uncontrollably. She tries to push him off her, but she can't find the strength to and stays in her boyfriend's embrace and wrath of kisses until he stops. 

“I'm so happy.” Stan says, pressing his cheek against Y/N's while he hugs her close to him. “Happy for you. Happy for us.” He tells her and Y/N can only smile to herself. Her hands are loosely hanging around Stanley's neck and fingers again threading into her curls. “Oh, my goodness.” The young man suddenly gasps and Y/N looks up at him. 

“What? What is it?” Is something wrong? Does he not want to come over for dinner? Is he afraid of her family?

“I don't know what I'm going to wear.” Stanley says with theatrical fright in his eyes and face. Y/N narrows her eyes at him out of simple annoyance that he scared her a little. Taking what they've all been through, a fake scare could still be a scare. 

“I suggest you come in your swimming trunks. That'll make a good impression.” She tells him, paying back for a false alarm from him. The statement makes Stanley blush and he clears his throat. 

“Right-o.” 

Permanent taglist: @v0idbella @inlovewithmiddleagedcelebs @works-of-fanfiction @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen @stfxlou @ur-gunna-h8-ths@empressdreams @betweenloveandfire @but-legendsneverdie@deardeacy@thewinchesterchronicles@mavieesttriste16@mrsmazzello@benhardyseyes @langdonzvoid@intrrverted @the-freak-cassie-131

Stanley Uris tag-list: @nightbu-g

I miss him so much :( and i want him happy. rrrr

[peaky-malachai]

﹒☼﹒

UPON RETURN ⎟  T. SHELBY

﹒♱﹒

✒︎requested: no i just loved the gif ✒︎warnings: swearing & narcotics + mentions of blood, bruises & violence && lots of tension ✒︎word count: 5000+ ✒︎season set: 1

[originally posted on my wattpad, bc idk how to post via tumblr but we tryin’. feedback majorly appreciated x]

﹒♱﹒

You took a deep breath as you lifted your bruised and dried bloody knuckle to the oh so familiar door. A thousand thoughts racing through your mind as you tapped your foot, both with impatience and disconcertment of what consequences would follow. 

You had moved to Small Heath at the age of seven, give or take, your father had got a job promotion which meant moving up country. When you first arrived you were known as 'The Cockneys At The Bottom Of Watery Lane'. You weren't even from London. You just happened to live near the capital. Not that anyone cared.

When you started school it was the same, only worse. All the girls would pick on you for speaking funny and the boys would pick on you for being too 'brash'. It wasn't your fault your parents had raised you to not take any shit. With your fathers line of work, he wasn't around an awful lot which mean you and your mother had to do a lot of things yourself. Which you, of course, didn't mind but it did mean that a lot of people would be confused and usually straight up rude.

They'd say things along the lines of, 'Whys a women doing this' and, 'Are women even capable of doing that', and so on, when you and your mother were doing the simplest of things.

Anyway, when you joined the school in Small Heath you found that being a girl with her head held high and strong arms wasn't easy.

One day you were minding your own business under the oak tree in the corner of the playground, reading Oliver Twist, if you remember correctly. When out of nowhere a group of kids made their way over to you; three girls and about five boys, all looking irritated.

"Wot ya doing, girl?", a boy with a scarf on asked you.

You rolled your eyes, turning to look at him as you put your bookmark in your book, "I have a name, you know?".

The boy scowled, "I don't care".

'What do you want?', you asked again, looking at the rest of them, "I'm busy".

A girl took a step forward, her hands behind her back as her plaits fell in front of her shoulders, "Just wanted to know why you're such a freak?".

You laughed, "I'm not a freak", you stood up.

"Yeah you are", a little boy from the back spoke up, "Ya read all the time n wear trousers". Another girl nodded, "Yeah girls don't wear trousers, they're for boys, ya freak".

"Girls can wear trousers too, you know?", you crossed your arms, "They're actually really comfortable".

The first boy that spoke to you shook his head, "I bet you wear trousers coz your mum n dad can't afford dresses, ay?", he said as he turned to look at his friends.

You didn't think twice before you lunged forward and brought the boy to the ground, "Fuck did you just say?", you spat as his friends gasped. When the boy didn't answer you shook him by his collar a little, "Didn't hear you".

"I said", he spoke, "You're poor and a freak of a girl", he sniggered.

You narrowed your eyes and lifted your fist before hitting him in the nose. He yelled and pushed you, knocking you slightly but you didn't fall over.

The kids started shouting "Fight... Fight... Fight...", causing a crowd of other kids to come running.

Soon enough you had hit him about four times before you heard an older voice, "Wots going on 'ere then?". You turned around to see three boys in flat caps, the voice belonging to the tallest.

"Wot's it look like?", you said, "I'm beating him u-", you were cut off as the boy beneath you grabbed one of your braids, yanking you down to the floor with him.

You quickly kicked him in the stomach before the three boys grabbed you and held you back, the other boy groaning in pain.

Walking you away as you shouted the boys laughed.

"Wot's your name then?", the smallest one asked as they sat you on a bench. You kept your chin up as you studied them, "Y/N", you narrowed your eyes, " 'ho uh you's then?".

The other two boys looked at each-other and chuckled before turning back to you, "That", they motioned to the smallest boy, "Is John". You nodded. "I'm Arthur", the tallest said before turning to the boy in the middle, "And this is-".

"I'm Tommy", he said as he held his hand out for you to shake, "These are my brothers".

You shook his hand and sat up straighter, "So Wot?", you began, "Yous the topdogs 'ere or sumin?", you asked.

They laughed as John spoke, "Yeah! We're the best here". Tommy gently shoved his brother, "Shut up, John", he said and looked back to you, "We're not yet, but no one messes with us if that's what you mean".

You nodded again, "So can I join your little gang?".

Arthur laughed, "Well you're not a Shel-", his brother Tommy cut him off.

"That's what I wanted to speak to you about actually, Y/N".

You smiled, "So that's a yes?".

John looked over to his older brothers, "Oh please, she's funny!".

Arthur looked back to you, "Where'd you live?", he asked you.

"Wa'ery Lane", you told him, "'bout a month now".

"Oh you're that girl", he said, "She's the cockney down the bottom of the Lane", he nudged Tommy.

"Alright we'll come and see you after school and you can join us", Tommy smiled.

You jumped to your feet and stood on your tippy-toes to be at the same height as Tommy, "Nah", you simply said as you watched his eyebrows furrow, "I'll meet yous, by the bridge at 'alf three", alright?".

Tommy sighed, "Deal". The two of you spat on your hand and shook on it.

The rest was history. You and the three brother became best friends.  Wherever you went, they followed and whoever they met up with, so did you.

You and John were the same age, you two were practically the same, it was hilarious. As you grew up you and John would always be playing pranks on the others and messing around with baby Micheal. No one left the two of you alone because they knew something would end up alight.

As for Arthur and Tommy, you all got on well. Whenever anyone messes with you, a seldom occurrence, they wouldn't mind paying them a quick visit. You helped Arthur with his maths and various other things as often as you could, although you didn't tell everyone about that, he wasn't proud.

As for Tommy, you two always loved to talk about the bigger picture and such. Often you two would walk down to the Canal or Charlie's Yard and spend a good few hours just talking about life and theories and your life aspirations.

By the time you and John were 18 your life had changed a lot, along with his. Of course you were still close friends but what with work and relationships you didn't see him as much as you would've liked. The same with Arthur, he always seemed to be busy, doing what you weren't sure exactly but when you did see him you'd always stop for a chat.

You saw Tommy most, he always made a point of stopping into the Newsagents you worked at, just to say good morning. You appreciated the gesture but couldn't help but feel as if you were wasting his time, you were always so busy trying to set up for the day you never got a minute to sit and chat with him.

As you had grown older, yours and Tommy's relationship had shifted slightly. Not that either of you dared to acknowledge, but you knew. You were both guilty of finding excuses to be around each-other and touch one another. Purposely bickering to clear a room of Shelby's out so that you were alone. Stealing glances whilst the other weren't paying attention. Just silly little things that you would try and pass off as platonic intimacy as you laid in bed at night overthinking every single word you said to the man that day... and every other day you'd ever known him.

Of course you wondered if he felt the same. It felt like he did but you could just be imagining that. And you weren't prepared to ruin what you had just because of some silly crush.

However come the end of 1913 your father was now too old to do the job he had moved here to do. And your mother missed her home town and family and as one thing led to another and they decided it was time to move back.

Of course you were devastated, you loved your job even though it was more than trouble then it was worth and you loved your friends. But you were also excited to go back, of course you had been back, Christmas and Easter and what not. But you missed living there, the bustle, the accents, the opportunities and fast changing trends.

So that's what happened, you spent your last few weeks making the most of it with the Shelby's and your job before the day you left came around. You promised you'd visit, and of course you would. You promised to write, and of course you went out and brought new writing pens and paper.

By the time you were settled back into your hometown war had broken out and it seemed almost every man you knew here was off to war. The brothers back in Birmingham as well. You couldn't bare to think about the consequences of that. You still kept in touch with all three of them though.

Until you didn't.

Around a month after the boys were back from the war the letters stopped coming. You weren't sure why or how but they did. So you stopped writing. Your pride was to big to just simply write to Aunt Pol and ask if everyone was ok incase they were and they just didn't like you.

So how did you get to knocking on their betting shop front doors at 11 o'clock at night?

The door opened after you had began knocking constantly after a minute of waiting.

"The fock do ya wan-", a deep voice began before releasing who they were speaking to.

You looked up, almost shocked, "Fuckin' 'ell, Arthur, you ain't 'alf grown since a last saw ya", you let out a strained chuckle as you looked at the man who seemed to be stunned.

"You gunna let me in or should I just bleed out over your shop front?", you joked dryly, "Don't think it'd be good for business".

"Uh yeah", he said as he shook his head, "No come in, yeah, just watch your step, it's busy". You furrowed your eyebrows as you stepped past him, it was 11 at night why would it be busy?

It was though. The entire room was full of people racing back and forward, counting money, writing numbers, sneaking an extra line now that Arthur had his back turned.

"There's a race tomorrow", Arthur told you as he placed a hand around your shoulder, "Now come on, let's get you fixed up, and then you can tell me what the fock happened to ya hands".

You nodded and followed him through the busy shop, keeping your head. Avoiding catching anyone's eye. Someone's eye.

"Polly!", Arthur shouted as he closed the green doors behind you, "Ay! Polly! Ada! Get down 'ere!".

"Sorry, am I causing you trouble, I didn't mean to end up here I just sort of- did?", you mumbled to Arthur, nervously.

"Wot you on about? You're always welcome here Y/N, you know that", he smiled before shouting for Polly once more. "And besides, this is a great time coz Tommy needs a fucking cheering up", he said as he pulled out a chair at the table for you to sit at.

You looked down at the table as you carefully held your hands above it, trying not to ruin it, "Is that so", you began, "dunno if I can help with that mate".

Arthur reached forwards and tilted your chin up to face him, "I hope for both our sakes that ain't true, you're the only hope left, Y/N", he said honestly.

"Wot do'ya mean?", you asked quietly.

Before he could reply you heard two squeals from behind Arthur. Looking up you saw Polly and Ada, and a little boy following behind.

"Y/N!", Polly said as she lifted her hands in the air, "You're here! You're well", she smiled as she walked over to you, wrapping her arms around your side.

"Oh my god", Ada said as she walked over to the other side of you.

"Wot the fuck happened to ya-" Polly asked as she grabbed an old tea towel and placed it carefully under your hands.

"To make a long story short", you forced a smile, "I thought it would be a good idea to find the man that burgled my parents", you cut yourself off with a 'fuck' as Ada began tending to your bruises, "And let's just say.. it wasn't".

Arthur sat up straight, "Can't be that bad", he laughed, "What'd'ya kill him or something", he joked, making light of the situation.

You licked your bottom lip, not saying anything for a moment before looking up from your hands to Arthur's face with a gulp.

"Wait you-", he began.

"You fucking killed someone!", Ada raised her voice in shock.

"Who's killed who then?", A chirpy voice asked as they walked in the room. You knew that voice from a mile off.

"John?", you called out, "John is that you, come 'ere", you said as you tried your best to turn towards the direction of the voice but Ada and Polly were blocking your view.

"Oh fuck off", John said as he pulled out a chair next to Arthur and next to you, "You didn't come and see me first! I'm offended" he joked, "When did you get back?", he beamed as he leant onto the table, hands clasped, "How are you? Any crazy stories to tell me coz I've got loads and- The fock happened to your hand?", John besieged you with questions.  

You laughed, "Yeah, missed you too, mate", you said simply as you looked back down at your hands which were stinging now as Polly cleaned them with neat alcohol.

"So do you wanna go down the Garrison after this then?", John simply asked you, ignoring the fact you were being patched up and hadn't seen him since 1913. It was as if you hadn't even spend half an hour apart let alone five or so years.

You looked up with a beaming smile across your red lips, "Fuck kind of a question is that .. of course I do, John".

Arthur cheered as he got up and reached up on top of the kitchen cabinet and grabbed a bottle of whisky. Finding a few small glasses he poured out some drinks, passing them around. John holding yours as both your hands were currently being worked on.

"To this one", Arthur said as he ruffled your hair slightly, just like he had to when you were kids (which you hated, but now it seemed comforting), before everyone cheered slightly and downed their drink.

"Who we toasting to this time then, ay?", a quite deep voice spoke from across the room. Arthur turned around in shock, spilling the bottle of whiskey over that he had brought over and left on the table. "Oh fuck sake Tommy, look what you made me do!", he shouted.

"You fucking idiot", Polly complained as she looked up, "I brought that whiskey to drink, not wash the floor with!".

John burst out laughing as he watched Arthur scuttle around trying to find something to soak it up with. As Ada left your side to help her brother, you looked up back to where the voice had come from.

Thomas.

You gulped softly, running your eyes over the man across the room. He seemed colder, more mature but rather in a sense that he had lost any grip on hope or joy. A contrast to how John seemed. As you looked back up to his face you blushed as you realised he was already staring back at you.

He walked over as he took his cap off, shoving it into his pocket and pulling out a cigarette.

He sat down at the table, stealing Arthur's seat, who was still trying to apologise to Polly for spilling her drink.

"Bet you're glad to be back", Tommy joked dryly as he placed his cigarette in his mouth and nodded in your direction as he pulled out out a light.

You smiled, "Yeah, I definitely missed this", you said sincerely, looking over at everyone, "Whatever 'this' is", you laughed, looking back over at Tommy.

Everyone pretended to still be busy as they all secretly listened in on the exchange between the two of you - amazed that Tommy had even cracked a smile.

"Right, well that should be fine now", Polly tapped your shoulder, "Just don't get into any fights for about a week, at least", she smiled before walking off, taking Ada and Arthur with her. Leaving John who was playing with his thumbs.

"So the Garrison yeah?", you looked over at your best mate, "tonight?".

"Yeah", he smiled, "I'll buy the first round".

You tilted your head with narrowed eyes, "Don't you practically own the pub", you asked as the smell of Tommy's cigarette filled your nose, in a weird sense it was comforting to you.

John nodded with a shrug, "So you won't be buying it then, will you?", you laughed, "And I will".

"Yeah something like that", he laugh as he stood up, "That's what you get for leavin' us".

"Yeah, coz it's not like you went away to war or anything anyway", you shouted after him as he walked off, acting offended. You let out a quiet snort as you watched.

"Why didn't ya visit?", Tommy spoke after a moment, "Y'know, when we got back".

"Yous stopped writing", you said plainly, "So I thought yuh didn't wanna see me", you shrugged as you looked down at your bruised hands.

"We didn't stop.. you stopped", Tommy leant back in his chair.

"Um, No", you furrowed your eyebrows, "I didn't stop writing first, why would I've done that", you argued.

Tommy shook his head slightly, blowing smoke out as he rubbed his temples, "I know what happened". You looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to explain. "Someone stopped delivering our letters and stealing yours when they got here", he leant forward, looking down at your hands, clenching his jaw, "Wot happened?".

"But- But why would someone do that?", you asked, ignoring his question.

"Dunno", he said and thought for a moment, "I'll ask Finn, he used to collect our post and such".

"Finn?", you raised your eyebrows, "Oh my god, is Finn the boy that- oh my god he's so grown up now!", you gasped.

Tommy smiled, "Shot up when we all went away, didn't he?". You nodded, shifting in your seat, turning towards Tommy slightly as you leant back.

"What happened?", Tommy asked again, in reference to your hands. You watched as he brushed away any dirt on the table, not wanting anything to get lodged in your cuts even if they were now covered and treated. You studied his hands now, all the small marks left from old cuts and gashes.

"Um", you didn't know where to start, "Just after the war ended, y'know, everyone settling back in best they could, everyone still disorientated", you absentmindedly began tapping your foot under the table as you continued. Tommy noticed but kept quite. "Well this man, I knew him actually — right cock'ead, worked at the butchers and spied on all the school girls when they walked 'ome", you grimaced, "So yeah anyway, it was a Wednesday evening, I'd popped round to me parents 'ouse, just two roads away from mine, and um", you licked your bottom lip, lightly biting the skin on the inside.

"When I got- when I got there they were both knocked out cold, only just fuckin' breathin'", you shook your head as you remembered, your tapping growing louder, "That's when I realised someone was in thee 'ouse". Tommy held his chin high as he tried to contain his displeasure, not only had this mysterious man caused you pain but also your parents - who he knew well and respected.

"So I goes up stairs and the pig is filing though my mothers jewellery box ain't he?", you laughed dryly to yourself, "Only to realise everything is sentimental and barely worth a fuckin' thing", you cursed.

Tommy opened his mouth to speak, unsure of what to say but he wanted to comfort you, even if he was a little late. He didn't get the chance as you began speaking again, the anger in your voice more present.

"I mean what the fuck did he think was gonna be there? Fucking Faberge Eggs? We're livin' on the outskirts of London for fucks sake", you wanted to clench your fists but it would ruin everything Polly had just achieved, instead you decided to throw your head back and angrily  shout 'fuck'.

Tommy stifled a laugh as he watched you so desperately want to lash out, "So what did you do?".

You lifted your head back up slowly and looked over at Tommy, dead in the eyes, "I told him to fuck off and never come back", you simply said, adding, "With a butchers knife in my hand, and a pistol in the other".

Tommy took a long drag of his cigarette as he looked at you, "And people say I'm threatening", he joked.

Shrugging with a small smirk you leant forward, crossing your legs in hopes of stopping yourself from tapping them. "Anyway, he left with his hands up and then I never saw him again".

Tommy butted his cigarette in the ashtray and folded his arms, ready to hear the gruesome end to your story.

"That was until I obviously tracked him down, I wasn't going to let him get away with hurting my parents".

"Did it take long?".

"No", you looked down at your hands once more, "I found him in a day or two, moved up to Coventry .. I went up to visit him once a month— secretly of course, just to make sure he was still there and what no", you raised your eyebrows before you spoke, "And then today I decided he was finally comfortable, my threats of finding him finally at the back of his mind".

Tommy looked you over as you sat, one leg still bouncing as your thumbs rolled over one another, your bottom lip a piece of meat to your top teeth as little bits of your lipstick began to wear off.

"I'll spare you the gore but let's just say he got more then I intended to give him and now he's resting in his own fire pit", you smiled sinisterly as you looked up to Tommy. "I feel bad of course, I guess", your smile faded, "But he deserved it, and it wasn't as if he had any family that cared about him".

Tommy took a short breath, straightening his back and smoothing his waistcoat down before looking at you with a concerned look.

"Wot?", you asked as you saw the look in his eye, "Look, if you're going to ask any questions about my well being- don't .. I'm clearly fine, aren't I?".

"What about the stuff that's not obvious", Tommy said lowly, "Why are you really here? Hmm?", he leant forward, adjusting your bloodied shirt cuffs, "I'm sure you could find many people to patch you up, and better then Pol too", he joked.

"Ay don't discredit Pol, she did a great job", you changed the subject. "And anyway", you carefully stood up, standing behind your hair as you pushed it under the table with your hip, "It's easy to hide in plain sight here".

Tommy watched you as you walked over to their sink, turning on the tap and bending to drink the water. The prospect of filling and holding a cup in your bandages wasn't looking fun right now. Tommy held back a giggle as he raised a brow at your behaviour, "How so?".

You turned around, leaning on the kitchen surface, "Well not only do I just have to put some coal on me and call it day, my best mate is the leader of arguably one of the most powerful organised gangs in the country, no one would dare give me up", you smirked.

"You reckon John's in charge?", Tommy stood up, leaving his chair untucked as he walked over to you, placing his hands either side of your waist, "Is is that what he's told you".

You gulped with a playful expression still on your face, "Well Arthur's too hot-headed and you're too collected, Johns a mix of both", you half lied, just to test Tommy's patience. He narrowed his eyes with a sly smirk upon his lip.

"You don't think that", he said simply.  

"Says who?".

"You".

"Well I literally just said the opposite so I don't exactly understan-".

Tommy cut you off as he leant closer, his hands subconsciously moving closer to your body as they glided across the surface edge, "Your body language", he said as if it was obvious, "Your heart".

You let out a loud dry laugh, trying to outwit him as you held your chin high, feigning confidence, "What do they say then? Because my brain is saying that you're embarrassed by my opinions".

"Well for starters you've ended up in my old house, pinned to a surface by me", Tommy took a shallow breath as he stood up straight, now his chest was practically touching yours, "Not John", he looked down into your eyes, holding your gaze, "Not Arthur, and not Jack from down the lane who used to flirt with you every fockin' chance he got".

You bit your lip, praying that no one would interrupt this, wanting to see how far it could go.

Of course you had thought about this before. You and Tommy. The way you both bounced off of eachother so well, the way you never felt awkward around eachother, the way you just understood eachother. Tommy and You. Of course you had thought about his lips on yours before, his hands on your waist- around your neck. The two of you cuddled up after a long day of running the betting shop. It had occupied the small space at the back of your mind since you were fourteen. You ignored it best you could though.

But over time that small space had become bigger, migrating to the front of your brain. And after all of your hard work getting it to shut up whilst you were back home, you had to come back to Birmingham and run into him. He had to ruin it and make you fall for his rubbish all over again.

Or maybe you came to Birmingham for that exact reason. Shit. He was right.

"No, you're in front of me", He said as you looked back into his eyes, "And I think we both know why".

"Do we?".

Tommy narrowed his eyes a playful smirk grew upon his lips, he chuckled to himself quietly, just above a whisper, "You know what your problem is?", he asked.

You shook your head a little, not trusting yourself to speak, afraid you would give in to him first.

"You're too stubborn, your ego is the size of a circus".

You furrow you're eyebrows with a gasp, "Am not!", you childishly defended yourself, "What makes me stubborn then, huh?".

"The fact you won't admit you've come here to see me".

"Well in actual fact, if I had come to see anyone, it would be John", you raised an eyebrow, "But as I said, I just ended up here and I'm glad I did because Polly is the only other person besides from my mum that I'd trust to patch me up".

Tommy returned back to his infamous imperturbable expression as he looked at you, "Why aren't you with John Boy now then? Ay?", he pressed, "Why aren't you terrorising Harry with him down at the Garrison?".

You shrugged, "Maybe", you smirked, "Maybe because you've trapped me in this godforsaken little kitchen because you're to scared to admit that you fancy me", you flushed a little as you finished your sentence, your heart racing as you wondered if this was the end of you and Tommy. Whatever you and Tommy was.

Tommy clenched his jaw, his eyes darting from your eyes, to your chest, to your hands, to your lips. "Well go on then", he stepped back, leaving you just enough space to walk away, "Go off and play with John then".

You frowned, eyes narrowed as you wondered if he was being serious, it was hard to tell with him.

You pushed yourself off of the counter, closing the gap between you both again as you stood as tall as you could. Your nose practically touching his chin as you looked up to him. "Fine", you said coldly, "I'll see you later then, after I'm done catching up with John", you quickly turned and headed for the front door before you could fall victim to Tommy's eyes again.

"And my Gin", you shouted before the door slammed shut behind you.

Damn both of your conceit.

﹒♱﹒

✒︎author note: part two? + plus plz comment any spelling mistakes etc ✒︎requests: open 09/2019

~ published: 29.10.2019 ~

﹒☼﹒

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Ain’t Sayin’ She’s a Gold Digger: Part 1

Pairings: Sugar Daddy!Negan x Sugar Baby!Reader

Warnings: Sugar baby relationship, swearing

Word Count: 2,298

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Livid didn’t even begin to describe your mood as you walked out of the upscale bar you worked at for the past three years until 30 seconds prior. And the reason you were fired was absolute bullshit. You had been called in on your day off to cover someones shift, only to be told that it was your shift that you were a no call no show for, that was scheduled last minute, and that you weren’t told about by the manager that had scheduled you, who had been out to get you since your very first shift. You growled and headed toward the subway as you pulled out your cell to call your best friend slash landlord slash roommate to vent. 

“Dana Gold, can…”

“That fucking bitch fired me!” You interrupted with a screech. “How the fuck is she gunna call me in on my day off and tell me she fucking scheduled me…”

“(Y/N)!” She said a little loudly, making you stop your rant before you even got into it. “Can I call you back? I’m with a client, and you are on speaker.”

“Oh, shit.” You gasped as you stopped at the corner to wait for the light to change. “Sorry.”

“I’ll call you back.” She repeated before she simply hung up the phone on you. You shook your head and crossed the road with the other busy, impatient New Yorkers and wide eyed, lost tourists, and headed down the stairs to the subway. You got in a short line behind a woman with an Hermes bag you envied that was worth at least five times your rent, when your phone started ringing in your hand.

“Well that was quick.” You said as you pulled out your metro card.

“Come down to my office.” Dana nearly demanded just as you swiped your card for the train headed up toward the Upper West Side. “Let’s… have lunch.”

“You really had to decide that shit after I swipe my metro card, brat?” You asked as you turned away from the platform and headed toward the exit since her office was only a few blocks away from your old job.

“I’ll pay you for the swipe.” She dismissed. “Just get here, I’m hungry.”

“Bitch, I’m coming.” You laughed as you headed up the stairs and hung up your phone. You moved a little quicker through the throngs of people, briefly wondering why you were still living in New York like you did everyday. It was a one hundred and eighty degree difference from your small home towns, and it had once offered you so much promise in life, but it also chewed you up and spit you out like it did most people who had dreams of grandeur. But you had learned that that was the nature of the beast that was New York City. 

“Good afternoon, Ms. (Y/L/N).” Jackie, Dana’s assistant said with a smile as you stepped out of the elevator in front of her desk in the decent sized, and adorably decorated office in Midtown. “Ms. Gold said to send you right in.”

“Thanks Jackie.” You said with a smile as you grabbed a Hershey’s kiss out of the heart shaped bowl on your way past. “Yo, can I sue this bitch?” You asked as you walked through Dana’s office door, only to stop the slightest bit when you saw an older gentleman in one of the two chairs in front of her desk. “Oh. Wait, Jackie said to come in…?”

“Have a seat, (Y/N).” Your friend said with a smile as she gestured to the other chair.

“I take it we’re not doing lunch.” You breathed as you loosened the white tie of your otherwise all black uniform.

“This is Mr. Morgan.” She continued with a smile as she gestured to the man sitting beside you. “He’s come in a few times the past couple weeks to look for someone to accompany him on a cruise overseas next week for two weeks or so. But none of my girls have been up to his standards…”

“I’m looking for someone that can hold a polite conversation, and who can be a respectable in formal settings.” He chimed in as he searched your eyes. “But isn’t afraid to speak their mind at the same time. Most of the girls I’ve met though Dana are all…”

“Boring.” You finished for him with a smirk as you crossed your legs and sat back in your chair. “Conceited, self involved, gold diggers that will say anything they think you want them to so that they can keep themselves in your good graces, and occasionally suck your dick so you open your bank account as far as possible.” Mr. Morgan smirked and looked over at Dana with a small nod.

“I like her.”

“She’s a real peach alright.” 

“I try.” You said with a shrug.

“Dana says you’ve never been a Sugar Baby before?”

“Never had an interest to.” You told him with a shrug as he finally sat back in his seat, and let himself get comfortable. “I mean don’t get me wrong, if this is your cup of tea, then power to you. I hope you have fun with whomever you pick. But I don’t think I have the temperament to be one.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I managed to get myself thrown out of fucking Juilliard.” You laughed with a shake of your head. “For… well I was technically drinking underage in Central Park on the weekend with some people I worked with at a catering gig I had at the time and almost got busted by the cops for being way to fucking drunk in public. But the asshole didn’t know I ran track in high school so I got away before I could get arrested. But my roommate ratted me out, so I broke her lucky violin bow before her showcase because she was a bitch, and cussed out the disciplinary committee for being mentally incapable of understanding that at twenty years old, I have the God given right to party like a mother fucking rockstar. ”

“I’ll take her.”

“Oh, I’m for sale now.” You teased as he pulled out his wallet from his inside jacket pocket.

“I’m offering an all expenses paid two week long cruise to England, Scotland, and Ireland, and possibly a continuation of the trip overseas after that, depending on how we get along and how my business venture goes plus five thousand dollars cash per week you are with me. After that, we can reconvene and discuss something long term…”

“Wait, you’re actually serious right now?” You asked as you looked at the actual metal credit card he was holding out for you. “You wanna hire me, someone you don’t even know, to go with you for two weeks, possibly more in a foreign country.”

“I want to gift you two weeks in Europe, yes.” He said with a nod, which made you reach out and take his credit card so he wasn’t holding it out anymore.

“Mr. Morgan…”

“It’s Jeffrey.” He interrupted as he put his wallet back and sat back in his chair. “Or Jeff. I’m not picky. And I’ve gotten enough information from Ms. Gold to know that you will be a breath of fresh air that I need in my life right now. I also trust her enough through years of working with her that I know she won’t steer me the wrong way. Her girls are great for dates when I’m bored. But you are someone that I think would be much more entertaining to be around for two weeks.”

“OK.” You said as you looked over at Dana, who had been trying to get you to join her ranks for years because you weren’t a typical Sugar Baby. “Are you sure about this?” You asked once more as you looked at Jeff again.

“I wouldn’t still be sitting here still if I wasn’t.” With a small nod, you sighed and looked at the credit card in your hand.

“Alright. So what’s this for?”

“A new wardrobe and the necessary luggage.” He said as he pulled out his sunglasses and stood up to leave. “Prepare for a month at least. Salon, jewelry, manicure, pedicure, lingerie, makeup… There’s no spending limit on that card…”

“I’ll go with her personally.” Dana said with a smile as she got to her feet and walked around her desk to shake Jeff’s hand. “And I’ll get her personal information to your assistant by end of day today so she can arrange transport and the fine tuning details, Mr. Morgan.”

“Ms. Gold.” He said back with a slight bow of his head. “Pleasure as always. And I look forward to spending time with you, (Y/N).”

“You’re not alone there, darlin.”

——

“OK, how is this even real?” You asked as you stood with your back to Dana so she could zip up the hundredth dress you had tried on that day. 

“Are you even listening to me?” She laughed as she did the tiny snap at the top and took a step back.

“Yes, be on my best behavior. I get it.” You said as you looked at the fitted, knee length, mermaid style, purple floral Dolce and Gabbana dress in the mirror. “Shit, this thing could pay my rent for three months and then some.”

“I know.” She laughed as she looked at the dress that looked absolutely perfect on you and nodded her head. “But you need to keep your feet on the ground for me here.”

“OK, feet are on the ground.” You sighed as you turned away from the mirror to look at her. “So you were saying… his wife left?”

“Yes, his wife left him for a younger man about five or six years ago.” You nodded your head and turned around to point at the zipper as she continued to tell you her client’s back story, and continue to teach you how to be a proper sugar baby. “So he’s looking for complete and total honesty and exclusivity. Which is a general consensus in the business. But the difference with Mr. Morgan is he’s…” She looked up at you in the mirror as you stepped out of that dress and into a floor length jungle print dress that you had fallen in love with in Vogue and just had to try on. “OK, I’m just gunna say it. He’s looking to find someone to date without dating them.”

“OK, what does that even mean?”

“It means that he’s looking for someone to spend the rest of his life with.” She sighed as she turned you around to face her. “He’s wanted me to find someone that he can get along with, that he eventually wants to put up in a place, and be with most nights out of the week. But there’s a catch…”

“Ooook…” You said nervously as you started to nervously fidget with the material of the dress.

“Mr. Morgan owns the Norwegian, the Oceania, and the Regent Seven Seas cruise lines, and a large handful of hotels around the world. He’s constantly traveling, which is why he came to me to find companionship. It started as just dates but the last few months, it’s been turning more toward long term. He wants someone permanent…”

“Ok, wait, Dana.” You said as you started to catch up to what she was saying. “Wait, hold on.”

“I know.”

“Dana… wait, are you like kicking me out? Hold on, wait I’m so confused.”

“OK, no. It’s not like that.” She said as she took a step toward you and gently grabbed your wrists. “Look, I love you with all my heart. I love being your best friend, and I love having you as my roommate. I’m not mad at you and I’m not trying to break our friendship up. But I am trying to tell you you need to get out there and enjoy life. Because we both know you complain all the damn time about being lonely and not getting to do anything fun because your always so broke. Sweetie, you can’t go living life playing piano at piano bars for tips for the rest of your life, and working at the God awful bar that I am actually grateful you got fired from. And I’ve had you on my mind for months every time Jeffrey came in because every time he’s described his perfect date, it’s always been like he was describing you.”

“Which is why you’ve been bringing up me being a Sugar Baby more often than you normally do.” She nodded her head and smiled softly as she reached up and shifted the shoulder strap the slightest bit.

“And that’s why today was perfectly timed. I know you’ll like him as a person.” She wrapped up as she searched your eyes. “And I know that out of everyone I know that I could set him up with, you would appreciate him as a person, and not just as a Sugar Daddy. And I think both of you deserve that.” You sighed loudly which turned into a groan as you looked up at the ceiling in your dressing room.

“I hate you.” You grumbled with a smile as you looked down your nose at her. “And you better not put your nasty ass quinoa salad on my fridge shelf when I’m gone.”

“Listen here, it’s my damn apartment.”

“I don’t give a fuck.” You barked through a laugh as you took off the jungle animal print dress and added it to the ‘yes’ pile so you could get dressed to go to the next store. “I pay good money for that shelf.”

“And I pay good money for that quinoa.”

Part 2

[looselucy]

Caged

June 15th It had been exactly a year to the day since we’d lost Rita Hunter. A whole year. I didn’t know where the time had gone.

The anniversary of her death was an instinctively reflective day, enough for my dad to finally voice something I knew he’d been thinking for the past twelve months. “I can’t live here.” He told me. “I know.” I acknowledged calmly. “I understand. I think… I think that’s what’s best for you. Not being here, I mean.” We’d woken up early that Monday morning to go down to the lake together, contemplate everything that had happened over the past year, get away from it all and experience a little peace before the day really began. I was proud of the conclusion he’d reached, as much as it hurt. It wasn’t long after she’d died that my dad had moved back to Rosebury, attempted to start his life over, but I could see he hadn’t been happy. I’d really thought it would have been what was best for him, and he’d thought the same thing, but a year on we both knew that wasn’t the case. “She’s everywhere.” He told me, looking out to the lake. “Around every corner, every crook. I see her… everywhere. She was my whole life here and… I don’t think I can be happy living here. I’ve got too many memories of her and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling like I’ve just lost her. I need to be happy and accept that she’s not here anymore, and I can’t do that in Rosebury.” Other than how much closer we’d gotten over the past year, I knew that he hadn’t gained much by being back there. All those fears he’d had about visiting our tiny village when she was still alive were realised and intensified by her death. They shared too much in that village, and everyone had known them as a unit; a year on and people were still giving him these looks, through kindness and sympathy and love, but even so. It must have been so draining for him, to constantly be viewed as though there was someone missing from his side. There was no room for progression in Rosebury. Not for him. “I wish it was different because I’ve loved having you back,” I sighed. “But I get it. It’s probably for the best, in the grand scheme of things. Do you know… where you wanna go?” “Not really. Close but… somewhere new. Fresh start.” The past year, for me, had felt like a time of growth. It had been my fresh start, somehow. Things had been calm. It had been amazing to have my dad back, to remind ourselves of our bond in a way that wasn’t largely focused around my mother’s illness. And as much as I’d have loved to have both her body and her mind back with us, her passing meant that we had been able to heal and move forwards in ways we never could when she was still with us. And even things like our money worries were no longer a pressing issue, meaning general day to day stresses that we’d had before were no longer troubling us in our daily lives. A weight we’d wished to keep had been lifted. “Well, I’m really happy for you.” I smiled to my father, sensing his relief for having finally aired his feelings. “We’ll get looking. Find somewhere perfect. But don’t go too far.” “I won’t, I promise.” He chuckled. “You sure you’re still happy here? You could come with me.” “I… I love it here too much. I can’t imagine myself anywhere else. I’m really happy here. I’m gunna miss you, but… I can’t leave Rosebury.” “I don’t know why even asked. I knew the bloody answer.” “I’m very predictable.” I chuckled. “But very happy, so… I’ll stay here.” “As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.” And though a year had passed, when I closed my eyes at that moment, the gentle breeze tweaked tenderly at my skin, and I could almost feel my mother sat there with us, her tranquil spirit sitting at my side. One year on, and I felt better than I ever thought I would have 365 days earlier.

“Morning!” Louis cheered as I walked into the shop, already in there and setting up everything for our day. “Hi!” I chirped back to him, closing the door behind myself. “You’re here early.” “Well, I knew you were heading out with your dad this morning so I thought I’d come in and get everything sorted for ya.” “You are literally an angel.” “How was it? How you feeling?” He asked as I walked to sit behind the counter. “Um… Yeah, it was nice, y’know. Felt good. Nice to just have a while, reflect and everything.” “I bet.” “And my dad finally admitted it.” “Shit.” His eyes went wide. “That he wants to leave?” “Yup.” We’d discussed it between us a few times because it hadn’t been hard to spot the adjustment troubles my dad had faced, and he had been open and honest about his struggles the entire time without fully admitting he no longer wanted to live there. Louis and him had developed such a lovely bond over the past year, one that had always been there due to how long he and I had been close friends and the ties between our families, but it lovely to see them form an adult friendship completely of their own accord. Louis had been so incredible to me, my whole life and especially over the last twelve months. “Shit. That’s good, right?” “Really good. M’really happy for him. It’s the right choice.” “Agreed. Oh, well fuck me, this is good. I was expecting you to come in feeling really down.” “It’s the opposite. I’m as pleasantly surprised as you are.” “Shall we celebrate with a brew?” “Yes! I’d bloody love one.” “Alright, back in a minute. The logs need doing, by the way.” “Nooooo, not the logs.” I groaned as he scuttled into the back room. “Anything but the bastard logs.” I settled down for the day, grabbing the laptop to begin work on the dreaded logs but still happy to be in work. Even so, it only took a matter of moments for my mind to drift, the files loading as my eyes coasted around the shop. Things had felt quant for quite some time. Rosebury had always been a quiet place, possibly uninteresting for others yet perfect for me, but there seemed to have been a normality and serenity in recent months that hadn’t really been there for quite some time beforehand. I knew that was largely to do with Harry and his absence from my life. For a long time, he’d been my everything; my centre, my focus, my exhilaration, someone who provided and catapulted an incandescent and unprecedented amount of affection and passion and excitement into my life. Life couldn’t have possibly felt quant and quiet with that sort of force being such a constant, and since he’d gone, that certain zest had dissolved, vanished before my eyes and left me with an existence that felt simple, calm. I didn’t even necessarily view it as a bad thing, but it was so apparent in my day to day life and everything I did. He still crossed my mind often, unexpected and uninvited. Often it was a memory, plucked from corners of my mind that I had attempted to cloud, yet despite my efforts every image remained agonisingly clear, as though only minutes had passed since he was mine. I’d think about mornings with him, how it felt to wake already in his arms, how green his eyes had been with the rising sun searching through his window as though it was looking for him specifically, as drawn to him as I was. His eyes would shine when he looked at me, smiling wide as soon as he saw my face. His smile spurred further recollections I’d struggled to omit. I’d think about his classes, how strong he had made me feel, the way he’d smirk at me through the crowd in this certain way, thrilled to be sharing a secret with me. I’d think about his art, the way it had felt beneath the tips of my fingers. I would think about his habits I’d grown to hold dear, like his love for local beers and how he liked to bake, the way he would call me boss. I’d think about his love for those self-defence classes he’d held, how he’d pay extra attention to the older ladies, how he was actually passionate about the results he saw from the lessons he taught. I’d think about the plants in his room, how he liked to have something to care for. And though I’d tried to forget, I’d still find myself thinking about his lips and about his voice, how it was gentle yet firm, how it had burdened me with words of reverence and devotion that continued to torment me. But it wasn’t simply memories that haunted me, it was this latent idea of what we were or might have been. It was worries over his wellbeing, questions of where he was, how he was. The thought of how he’d now been out of my life for even longer than he was in it made me shudder. It pained me to face the fact that even still, I missed the electricity he’d brought to my life. He had always been a storm. “One cuppa tea,” Louis pulled me from my thoughts, walking back out onto the shop floor. “And two chocolate biscuits.” “You’re a star.” He’d barely managed to put our brews on the counter before the door burst open, the bell chiming and Libby running excitedly up to him and leaping into his arms where he caught her as quickly as he physically could. She wrapped her legs and her arms around him like she hadn’t seen him for fucking years. Niall and Lin followed close behind, sliding in just before the door closed, not half as excited. “Morning, all.” I clucked. “Morning, you.” Lin grinned as Niall pressed his palms on the top of the counter so he could elevate himself up and across to plant a big kiss on my cheek before landing back on the floor with a thud. “What’ve I done to deserve your company this morning?” “We wanted to see how you are.” Niall told me with a smile, his tone filled with a thoughtful concern. “How was it?” “Nice, y’know. Really nice. M’feeling loads better.” “Good. That’s good to hear.” “All the better for seeing you lot. Thank you for coming.” I then turned my head to Libby, who by that point was kissing Louis with everything she had. “Oi, you two! Love-birds! I know you’re smitten but this is verging on inappropriate.” “You’ve been like this for weeks, you can chill out now, by the way.” Niall joined in with my good-natured scalding. “I’m worried that by the wedding it’ll practically be live porn.” “Ewwww, Niall!” She cried, getting off Louis so that she could hit his arm, hard, trying to bury her smile. “That’s disgusting!” “So’s your tongue down Louis’ throat, but here we are.” The two of them started scrapping with each other as they often did whilst myself, Louis and Lin began to catch up, like we hadn’t only seen each other less than 12 hours earlier. It had only been a few weeks since Louis had proposed to Libby, and the two of them had been completely inseparable ever since. Not that they weren’t beforehand, because they absolutely were, but since he’d popped the question their antics had intensified tenfold. I think Libby had been the only one of us who hadn’t been expecting the proposal, to be honest, and she’d been showing her gratitude with exuberant desire ever since he’d asked her the question one bright Sunday morning, waking her with a speech about how much he loved her, a subtle and beautiful ring, and a Full English Breakfast. He knew exactly how to get a yes out of her. “STOP ATTACKING ME, I HAVE NEWS!” Niall eventually cried, holding Libby at bay by her face, his palm pushing right against her features. “Y’know Sean?” “Pub Sean?” Lin clarified. “Gay.” He nodded; eyes wide, obviously very excited. “No way.” I gasped. “Yup. He’s gay as fuck and I’m gunna ask him out.” “How do you know?” “He told me. When you all left the pub last night, I stayed and we got chatting and he told me. Said he came out when he was travelling.” I recalled the time when Chloe had told us they’d slept together and how poor it had been, and suddenly that made so much more sense. It gave an entire reason behind his apparent lack of care when they’d been together, introduced all these complexities that made it perfectly plausible. Frankly, it must have been difficult for him. I’d never been able to fix things with Chloe. Not really. We weren’t on bad terms, but we’d never been able to get things back to the way they were before she was with Sam. We’d spoken about it, aimed to get things back on track, but it had never happened. The fact she was so often in his company didn’t help, because even though I was okay with him too, I certainly didn’t want to spend any time with him and neither did the rest of our friends. Things had just dwindled gradually until being in her company became a rarity. As much as I missed having her around, it felt like it was for the best. But the bottom line was that we’d lost two people from our little group of friends over the last year, and it was noticeable. “Well, good for him.” I smiled. “But don’t just ask him out because you feel like he’s your only option. Know what I mean?” “That’s definitely not why. He’s fit.” “True.” “And he seems decent.” “He’s well sound.” Lin chipped in. “I’ve known him for years, he’s top. I think you’d be suited, to be fair.” “If he’s top and he is a top, I’m onto a winner.” He lifted an eyebrow suggestively as he finally let go of Libby’s face, receiving a mixture of laughter and groans from the rest of us. “Reyt, so I wanna buy some wine for if I do ask him out and he says yes and then we get a little drunk and end up stumbling back to my place for some sex. Do you have anything for that situation?” “Yes, we have a wine for that specific scenario.” Louis sniggered. “Wanna look downstairs?” “Let’s.” “I’m coming with!” Libby chirped, grabbing hold of Louis’ hand and accompanying the two of them in their search for the perfect wine. With a smile, I rolled my eyes and shook my head, turning to look at Lin as immediately picking up on how nervous he looked, concern wiping the smile off my face. “What’s up?” “Nothing.” He defended. “You sure?” “Uh.. Y’know, it’s just… With Libby and Louis. Chloe and Sam. Niall and Sean, hopefully. I… I was just wondering if you wanted to… Y’know- I was thinking maybe you and me could… Well… I dunno, I was wondering if I could take you out. Some time. Maybe.” He sputtered. I can’t imagine that the look that masked my face then instilled any hope in him at all. I imagine it was quite the opposite, if anything. I couldn’t make sense of his words. Lin wanted to take me out on a date. “Wait… are you joking?” It was an uncomfortably long time before I managed to blurt those words. “Um… No, m’not. No, I… I’ve kinda wanted to ask you out for years. I was just… scared about ruining stuff. So, no, I’m not joking.” He suddenly panicked. “Unless you’re gunna say no, in which case I wasn’t even serious and it was all a big funny joke at your expense and I definitely have not wanted to ask you out for years.” “Holy shit.” I hadn’t seen it coming. Not at all. Not even with the assumptions Harry used to adopt when it came to Lin and his feelings towards me. I’d always thought he was being ridiculously paranoid, overthinking my friendship with Lincoln because he’d never had anything similar himself, but it seemed he’d genuinely picked up on something that had been downright imperceptible to me. “But… I don’t… We’re not… What?” “Oh shit. I shouldn’t have asked.” He sighed, resting his elbows on the counter and hiding his face in his hands. “No, oh my god, no don’t feel like that! It’s fine, it’s good,” I reached and took his hands in mine. “I’m just… surprised! Like… I mean, what the fuck?” “I know, I know. Like, it’s weird, I know it is, and you’re like my best mate and this doesn’t take away from that, at all!” He looked up to me. “I just… Do you ever worry that you might be missing out on something really good because you’re so fucking settled? Like there’s something amazing and you’re missing out on it because there’s a fear there? I don’t want that. I don’t wanna be like that. And… I dunno. I just think the fucking world of you and if we don’t try, we don’t know. Does that make sense?” It did make sense, as strange as it all felt. It made sense. Fear so often held so many people back, stopped them from reaching for the things they desired. I could strongly sense that Lin wasn’t necessarily saying he’d been secretly in love with me for years, more that he cared for me a lot and there was an attraction and maybe we’d been missing out on something more and we hadn’t given ourselves the opportunity to explore possibilities. He could see all these people around us falling together in a wonderful way and he’d started asking questions. I understood that. “It makes sense.” “So I thought we could maybe… have a date or something. See how it is. Because you never know.” “You never know.” I agreed. “Is that a yes?” “It’s a… I’ll think about it. It’s not a no, by any means, I just… I think I need my wrap my head around it.” “That’s fair. I feel like I dropped this on you from nowhere.” “You did. You’ve fucked me up for the rest of the day.” I chuckled. “Sorry. It’s awkward.” He cringed. “It’s not awkward. We’re not gunna let it be awkward.” I spoke with confidence. “We’re gunna… see what happens.” “That sounds good.” He exhaled, easing. “Thank you, by the way. I was ready for that to go down like a lead balloon. But it’s kinda like… a bog-standard balloon, which is much better. Kinda deflated, but not lead.” “You’re a fucking idiot.” I sniggered. “Correct.” We heard footsteps, so he shut up, standing back upright and aggressively rolling his shoulders in and attempt to straighten himself out and appear relaxed and nonchalant to the rest of them so they wouldn’t guess he’d literally just asked me out, not that any of them would have ever thought he had. Surely that wasn’t a conclusion any of them would have ever reached. “Did you find the perfect wine?” I asked Niall, keeping my voice bright to distract from how uncomfortable Lincoln clearly was. “I did! This is the wine that gets me laid, I can feel it. I’m calling it shag-wine from now on.” “It’s on the house.” I cooed. “Good luck.” “I love you so much.” He headed to the door. “C’mon, you two. Let’s leave these two fuckers to do some work.” He was out the door in seconds, Libby and Louis sharing a sweet goodbye that was as dramatic and wistful as expected. “Let me know.” Lin turned to me, spoke quietly. “I will. I promise.” “Thanks. And sorry.” “Don’t be sorry.” He whispered a few shy goodbyes before following Niall outside, quickly followed by Libby, who leaned over to pinch my cheek for no apparent reason before leaving. It was only when I was out of Lin’s company that his proposal burst back into my mind rather belligerently, his words accompanied by a substantial headache. I gripped my eyes shut, hoping to think of anything but. “So did he ask you?” Louis grinned, retrieving the tea he’d made before we were interrupted. “Huh?” “Lin? Did he ask?” “Wait? What? He told you he was going to ask?” I gawped. “Wait, no, are we talking about the same thing?” “He asked you out on a date, right?” “What the fuck? He told you he was gunna do that?” I squealed. “Well, you know how it is,” He rolled his eyes. “I’m the emotional support one, aren’t I? I dunno how it happened, but I somehow became the mother of the group, so people talk to me about this shit.” There was a warmth about Louis that I could not understand, but he was right; he was the one we all went to when there was anything we really wanted to discuss or anything we felt we needed to open up about. He had this wonderful energy that made him so inviting. Not only that, more often than not he gave wonderful, honest advice. There were secrets that I had kept so close to my chest that I hadn’t even found the strength to tell him, of all people. Something stirred in me then, an abrupt desire for that to change. “I didn’t know what to say.” I sighed. “I feel bad, but… I dunno! What the fuck, I just wasn’t expecting it!” “Kinda knocked me for six too, to be fair. But, I mean… he’s fucking sick. He’s a top lad.” “The best.” “I say do it.” “Oh god. I dunno. I dunno how I feel. I don’t wanna ruin anything.” “Wasn’t I exactly the same about Libby?” He said quite solemnly. “Yeah but I feel like you were always secretly in love with her. And once you got past the denial, boom, sorted.” I huffed. “I’m pretty sure I’m not secretly in love with Lin. Like, I’m really confident on that.” “But you don’t know! Maybe like… kiss him. Test the waters.” “I can’t even picture myself kissing Lin!” “I get that, I do. No pressure, or anything, but like… don’t rule it out, know what I mean?” “Mm.” “Do you feel like there’s something specific holding you back?” This was my opportunity, my gateway to tell him something I’d been holding in for 20 long months. It had been almost 2 fucking years since the first time I found myself in Harry’s bed and I hadn’t told anyone other than my dad about us. When things first started, the whole point was that it was a secret, something between us that no one else needed to know about. Following that, when we were together, I was conscious of how he felt, the pace he wanted to move at, what would make him comfortable, so I stayed quiet. Then it ended and he left and the last thing I wanted to do was talk about it. The cut he’d left was deep, and the idea of talking about him when things came crashing down seemed like salt to the wound. I didn’t want to tell the story of us when all we’d become was an ending. But now the wounds had healed, and the salt would no longer sting. It would merely glide over the scars he’d left. “Um… I… Um… Okay, there is something. It’s… Well, I was sort of… I was with Harry. Remember Harry? Yeah, of course you do, that was stupid. Okay- When Harry was here… we were… Together. Me and Harry… had a thing.” I think I was hoping for an alarmed look of absolute shock and disbelief, but that’s not what I received. Instead, he grinned, took a sip of his tea to try and hide his chuckles. Everything was blowing my mind. “I was wondering if you’d ever tell me.” He sniggered after some time. “What the fuck, Louis? How do you know everything?” “I just do.” He shrugged. “I pick up on these things. You two had a big energy. Huge. I figured.” “You didn’t say anything.” “Well neither did you! What was I supposed to do? And I didn’t know if anything was actually happening, I had no proof. I just knew at the very least you wanted to fuck each other.” I sniggered over his blunt delivery, almost relieved that he’d had some kind of idea that something had happened between us. I’m not sure why I felt that way, but it was like there was less to explain, less questions to be asked. I didn’t like talking about Harry, but it felt good to break that secret. “Does everyone know?” I panicked. “Don’t think so. I think you girls were all so keen on fucking Harry when he first got here that no one really thought anything of it.” “Well… Yeah.” I sniggered. “That’s probably true.” Louis was much more observant and tuned in than the rest of them were. Me and Harry had been surprisingly good at keeping things between the two of us rather inconspicuous, so it didn’t really surprise me that Louis was the only one who had caught on. “Was it serious?” He asked. “Uh… I think I’d say yes and he’d say no. I dunno, it got pretty fucked up… towards the end.” “Did it end because he left?” “I think he left because it ended.” “Shit.” “I told him I loved him and-” “Wait, you loved him?” Finally, he seemed shocked by something I’d said. “I… Yeah. I did, yeah.” “I didn’t realise it was that serious. Well, I knew you were good friends but I guess I figured it was just sex.” “I think he felt the same way. Because I told him I loved him and he freaked out and said it hadn’t meant anything to him, and the next thing I knew he’d fucked off back to New York.” “That’s shit, m’sorry.” “Yeah, well,” I shrugged, tried to loosen up. “Shit happens.” Though he appeared in my mind like a damn migraine more often than I knew he should have, I knew also that time had helped to heal and conceal wounds that Harry had left behind. I guess I’d expected talking about him to hurt, to drag agony back into my heart, but it didn’t. I’d become almost numb when it came to him. I’d had to force myself to forget, move on, not be haunted by a name and a face and a love that wasn’t supposed to ever be in my life in the first place. He was a malfunction, a glitch we’d experienced in our attempts to find the true meaning of our lives. We were never supposed to be. It was better to be numb than to admit the magnitude of feelings he had thrust upon my heart. “It’s his loss.” Louis said, and I rolled my eyes. “Nah, I’m being serious, Alf! He’ll fucking live to regret that, m’telling ya.” “I can’t say I agree, but I’m glad you think so.” “So… Are you not over it? Is that why you’re not sure about Lin?” “There’s a million reasons I’m not sure about Lin.” I wheezed, wanting to lay myself down on the floor and groan for the rest of the day, or at least until I made a decision. “I’ve known him since I was seventeen. I’ve known him for almost eight years. I’m twenty-five in a few months. I… I just feel like if something was supposed to happen, it would have happened already.” “But for the majority of the time you’ve known him… you’ve been with someone else. You’ve been with the wrong people. Sam and then Harry. Maybe the right person was here the whole time, you just weren’t looking.” “It’s so easy for you to say when you and Libby worked out so well.” “Yeah, it is easy. That’s exactly the point.” He said. “Look at how it worked out for me.” It was a risk, but maybe it would turn out to be one that was worth taking. Maybe the risk would bring me exactly what I needed, wanted, craved. Maybe Lin was perfect for me and I’d been too busy falling for the wrong people to even give him a chance. I’d never thought about it before that day, but suddenly I found myself thinking that if I didn’t at least try, I might always be asking myself the question – what if? “I do think the world of him.” I admitted exasperatedly. “Of course you do, he’s fucking amazing. Good hair.” “Such good hair.” I laughed lightly. “You could do a lot worse than Lincoln Crosby.” “I know I could. I know.” My voice and my disposition were both flattened. I adored Lin. I truly didn’t have a bad word to say about him, my only concern was that there was something deficient when it came to the two of us in a romantic sense; something that meant no matter how much we loved each other, we would never be able to fall in love with each other. That was something I needed to find out. But it was like every time I really considered it, allowed myself to think about saying yes, Harry’s face would appear in my mind once more, subconsciously trying to pull me away, keep me from trying things, holding me down, making sure I remained as miserable as I had been since he’d left. I deserved to move on. I deserved to try something new, and I refused to keep being held back and restrained by a boy who had cut me free a year earlier. He had taken flight, and sometimes it felt like I had remained completely grounded. It was as though he had given me the wings and simultaneously locked me in a cage. It was time to set myself free. “You okay?” Louis sounded somewhat concerned, eyes trained on me, likely seeing the cogs working in my head. “Mm.” He took a few moments, as observant and conscious as ever before he spoke again, reminded me just how well he knew me, how easily he could figure me out. “The Harry thing really fucked you up, didn’t it?” I looked to the ground, my stomach churning. “You really loved him, didn’t you? And he just left like…” “Like I’d never meant anything to him.” I said what I felt he couldn’t. “You did. I know you did. He told me you did.” “What? When?” “Uh… I think it was when you first went to see your mum again, and he went with you. I grabbed him for a chat before you went, kinda asked why he’d put himself forward the way he did. I mean, we’d all known you for so many years, we’re all so close. I wanted to know why he’d stepped up.” “Wh-what did he say?” “He was kinda… trying to be blasé about it, like it didn’t mean much, but then… I remember him saying he’d do anything for you. I remember it like it was yesterday. So…. No matter what happened, I know he cared about you a lot, Alfie. And I know it’s hard to see that sometimes, but he did.” Hard didn’t even come close. It was fucking impossible sometimes. Because he’d left. He’d told me that we were just fucking and he’d left; despite everything and despite the reasons he’d moved to Rosebury in the first place, he’d altered his entire life to get away from me. It was near fucking impossible to be conscious of the good parts when the bad had began feeling so much more dominant in his absence. I owed it to myself to see what romance may be like with someone new. I needed to move on from him.

[imagine-that-100]

Drunk | Part 3 |

Description of Part 1: Matty Healy x Reader (Female) | When you come back home to Manchester from University, you get invited to a house party filled with your old friends from high school. You hadn’t seen most of them for 4 years and the house brings back some old memories of the parties you once attended. Getting drunk with old friends ends up being better than you imagined.

Word Count: 9k

A/N: So I found it so difficult to write this part which is one of the many reasons why it took so long to share with you guys. So I really hope you all enjoy it and your reactions and feedback are most welcome. I honestly love seeing your comments. Love you all and thanks a million for reading. It means more than you know. Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist x

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| MASTERLIST IN BIO |

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Before you knew it, Christmas was upon you and your life seemed relatively good compared to the last time you came back home for Christmas. You’d always loved coming back to see everyone and this year was even better because you’d reconnected with so many people.

It made this Christmas one of the best you’d had in a long while.

Your last Christmas break had been boring compared to this one. Last year you were just lazy and sat around your house watching anything on Netflix.

You’d spice it up from time to time by going between Caroline, Alisha, and Y/B/F’s houses and had a few drinks with them every now and again. You did just go around to be with your best friends though as you really did miss them when you were back in Leeds.

This year though, was completely different. You were out of the house every other day going into town or going to see various people you’d lost contact with. And you’d also met up with your old friends a few times too.

On more than one occasion you’d met up with George and he showed you his studio, where him and the boys made and recorded their videos. And you’d also been seeing Matty.

Well, not really seeing him. You met up with each other. Both played hard to get for an hour or two before one of you gave in first. You shagged and then you went your separate ways. Until the next time.

It was a mutually beneficial relationship between the two of you. You both craved each other, and you got what you wanted.

You never thought it would turn into a full ‘friends with benefits’ situation, but it did. And you didn’t mind.

On the occasion that George brought you to their studio, it was just you and George for a while. You’d gone around because you’d been interested in their music as you hadn’t seen them perform yet and were eager to hear it their new stuff too.

You’d also told George how you were interested to see how they recorded their songs, so he’d invited you around to show you.

You’d been at the studio for 4 hours before the other boys joined you. You didn’t even know they were coming until they all crashed in and startled you.

You noticed that George didn’t even seem fazed when they slammed the door open and practically fell over each other as they came in. You, however, had the fright of your life and almost jumped out of your skin.

You watched as they all laughed coming into the room and Adam and Ross composed themselves when they saw you. Matty, however, didn’t give a fuck and carried on cackling away.

Despite making eye contact with you, Matty walked past you, ignoring your existence and stood next to George. It seemed the playing hard to get was starting early today.  

You turned your attention back to Ross and Adam and asked how they were.

Adam nodded with an adorable smile on his face and Ross asked, “Good thanks, are you alright?”

“Yeah I’m good thanks. I’ve just been listening to your stuff” You tell him turning back toward the computer screen that you and George were sat at.

You noticed that Matty had moved away from George and now headed toward the sofas on the opposite side of the room.

“Which ones?” Adam questions and you smiled up at him.

You looked to George for confirmation for the names as you said them out loud, “I’ve listened to Facedown, Woman, Anobrain, and Sex”

George grinned and nodded before you turned back to the other boys, who were now all sat on the sofa’s opposite the wall full of pictures. You smiled at Ross and Adam hoping to make it clear that you really did like their music.

“Which ones your favourite?” Adam smiled and you thought about it for a few seconds.

“I don’t know, I like Woman but I also really like Sex” You tell him truthfully.

Before you could say anymore, George interrupted saying “We know”

That made you all laugh. You elbowed him in his side and chuckled along.

You weren’t fussed that Matty had told them, they had probably heard a lot over the years, so you were nothing new to them. You looked at Matty and smiled and he shrugged his shoulders at you.

“Well yeah but anyway...” You move the conversation quickly on.

“I really like your music” You told them, and they all murmured a thank you.

Your night moved on and you ended up ordering a takeout with them. You all listened to some music as you ate, and you found that you bounced off them quite well when it was just you 5.

It never became awkward which you were thankful for. Each of you kept the conversation flowing and before you knew it, hours had passed.

You’d forgotten how nice it was to just have lads as friends. There was no drama or over analysing like there was with girls.

You were laughing and chatting so loudly with them that you’d almost missed your phone ringing.  

It was your Mum, so you quickly picked up the phone. 

“Hey” You answered.

Her voice rang loudly in your ear as she asked, “Hi, are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m good thanks, are you alright?” You respond, trying to sound just as friendly as she was being, despite wanting to chat with your friends again.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just wondered if you needed any tea doing or if you were having something out?” She asked you.

“I’ve just had a takeout, but thanks though” You told her.

“That’s fine, what did you have?” She asked and she carried on asking you all the things Mum’s did on the phone.

The boys thankfully stayed relatively quiet as you spoke to her, which surprised you actually. You half expected one of them to shout ‘Y/N but that cig out’ like everyone used to in high school.

“Are you coming home tonight or are you staying out again?” She asked you.

“Am I staying out or coming home...” You slowly repeated out loud, as if in thought. But you were actually looking for confirmation from Matty.

When his eyes connected with yours you immediately knew the answer. From the way he acted all night you could just tell at this point.

You watched as he mouthed, “Stay mine” and you returned to your conversation as the other boys started grinning at you both.

This caused you to have a smile on your face when you told your Mum, “I’m gunna stay out I think”

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow then” She said, and you were surprised she didn’t make a big deal about it.

Usually when you stayed out more than twice a week, she would guilt trip you into spending more time with her. She probably just thought you were staying at Y/B/F’s again.

“Yep I’ll see you tomorrow. Love you” You bid her goodbye.

“Love you too, bye” She repeated.

“Byeeee” You dragged before hanging up the phone.

You looked back to the guys and they were all looking at you with a grin.

“Who was that?” George cooed.

“My boyfriend” You joke but keep a completely serious face. 

You watched as their faces dropped. Except for Matty’s, he didn’t seem to care.

The room went silent for a moment until you let your smile slip and you couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped your lips.

You saw relief flood onto the others faces and they shook their heads at you. Most likely because you actually tricked them.

“Can you imagine? ‘Oh hey, yeah imma stay out tonight and sit on someone else’s dick. Bye love you’... Jesus guys, I’m not him” You laughed, pointing towards Matty.

They did start laughing at that and you smiled when Matty flashed you his middle finger.

“No, it was my Mum” You told them.

“Awh, what does our Y/M/N think about you shagging him?” Ross pries, nodding towards Matty.

Ross had met your Mum a few times in the past at various school events you were both forced to go to. So, Ross knew her somewhat better than the rest.

You let out a small laugh at that, “Oh, she definitely doesn’t know about that”

You’d managed to bring Matty back to yours whilst she was out for the night and you were left on your own. You didn’t need the embarrassing conversation that followed it when she would inevitably see him the following morning.

“Really?” George questions.

You looked at him and explain, “George, she probably still thinks I’m an innocent virgin”

This comment then caused Matty to let out a loud laugh. You couldn’t help your laughter too because it was probably near enough the truth.

“She couldn’t be more wrong then, could she?” Matty smirked.

You shook your head, grinning, “No, not really”

You couldn’t even lie about it. You literally admitted to everyone at Steve’s party that you liked to be choked. To make it worst you and Matty had got up to some kinky shit that the other boys probably already knew about.

You didn’t find anything to be ashamed of though. If Matty wasn’t bothered, you definitely weren’t. Especially when Matty was the one who suggested you try out more stuff in the first place.

The night carried on and George got you all a beer, except for the designated driver, Ross. You didn’t particularly like the taste of beer, but you drank it anyway. If you could stomach straight vodka, you could definitely stomach lager.

Before you knew it, George exclaimed, “How the fuck is it half one?”

You took your phone out just to double check and it was indeed 01:30am. You couldn’t believe it, you met up with George at 3pm. The day had practically flashed in front of your eyes.

“Better get going” Ross announces, getting himself up off the sofa and he offers to the surrounding boys, “Want a lift?” 

“Nah I think I’m good mate, but thanks though” George says sarcastically, and you let out a chuckle.

Both Matty and Adam also stood up indicating to you that they were accepting Ross’ generous offer. You stay sat for a moment longer until Matty stood in front of you when you were about to get up.

Matty offered both his hands to you and you happily took them. You let him pull you up to your feet and you share a smile before you let go of each other’s hands.

“Always a pleasure George” You say, going to wrap your arms around his torso. He happily accepted the hug and gave you a tight squeeze in return.

“I’m glad you found the recording interesting” He smiled, and you honestly did.

“Honestly loved it. You’re all very clever” You grin, looking round the boys. “Don’t forgot me when you’re massive popstars” 

“It’ll be rockstars actually” Matty said and you rolled your eyes.

“Same difference. Just don’t forget who supported you when you were sat in your make shift studio recording your music” You say pointing between them all.

“Woah, did you just insult the studio?” George piped up and you back tracked immediately.

He laughed as he showed you all out. Just as you were about to get into the back of Ross’ car you wave, “See you on Saturday at the gig”

And you did.

After George’s that night, you went back to Matty’s and you both had a wild ride. You both got up to some kinky shit that you had no doubt Matty would tell the other boys first chance he got. And you’d probably had the best sex of your life.

You were really surprised that you hadn’t woken his Mum or his brother up that night. You tried your best to keep quiet but Matty liked to try make you louder. Either way you’d had a great night.

The next time you saw Matty was at the gig on the Saturday night. 4 days had passed since you’d last had sex, so you prepared yourself for the inevitable to take place and you dressed to impress. But you wouldn’t admit that.

Matty seemed thrilled to see you when you showed up at the bar in your leather skirt and lacey body suit. You watched as his eyes ran over your body and you liked that he immediately came over to you, cutting off his conversation with a different girl you deemed prettier than yourself.

He came to your side and his hand found its way to your hip as you ordered your drink.

“You alright?” Matty asked you. 

You could see him trying to look into your eyes but failing. They were looking at anything but.

“Great thanks” You smiled at him before turning back to the bartender and diverted your attention from Matty. 

You didn’t want to make it easy for Matty. You wanted him to work for it.

When you got your drink Matty was still on you, not that you were complaining, and he was leading you to his table where the other boys were. They all said ‘hey’ and at that point you expected Matty to leave you be, but you were wrong.

When you removed your leather jacket, his arm immediately found its way around your shoulder and he kept himself close to you. You found it quite odd considering that the other guys that you hung around with back at Leeds didn’t even do this when they were after sex. But you liked the game playing.

It got better when Matty didn’t have a drink in his other hand too. At the start of the night his hand rested on your knee, but as you both consumed more alcohol you found his hand creeping higher and higher, until his fingers were almost under your leather skirt.

You’d sent him knowing glances as his grip would randomly tighten on your leg or he would risk it by moving slightly higher. You loved that he was being adventurous out in public too.

To make it worse he knew he was affecting you. Especially when he trailed his fingertips up and down your leg. That had become a tell of Matty’s because he always did it when you were in bed and was after another shag.

It had become second nature to you now. After almost a month of his constant attention you knew what he wanted and when he wanted it. That didn’t stop you from making him wait for it though.

You liked that he was testing the boundaries more with you and acting slightly cockier than he usually was.

The sexual tension between the two of you could practically be seen and George had to almost drag Matty away from you when it was time for them to go up on stage. But then it was your turn to sit waiting for him to give you what you wanted.

You found him incredibly attractive when he was up on stage performing. You had when you were younger, and you still did now. Only it was harder for you to control yourself than you remembered.

You forgot that Matty probably used his performances to his advantage and he probably seduced most of his victims through his stage presence. You were certainly finding it difficult to sit still whilst he kept making innuendos and thrusting his hips into the crowd. Specifically, in your direction.

At one point you wanted to go up and get him from the stage and let him have you in the back room of the pub. There was just something about him when he performed.

You didn’t know whether it was the 0 fucks that he gave whilst he was up there or the fact that he seemed to have you hanging onto his every word. You barely found it in yourself to listen to their songs because you were just so focused on him.

You did note that his singing was much better than it was all those years back but that was to be expected. They were a really good band and you really hoped everything worked out with the interest from the record label.

You also liked the fact that he kept winking at you and nodding towards you when he made eye contact with you. You found yourself blushing at one point when he didn’t break eye contact from you whilst singing a dirty lyric which you liked that he did.

You could see on stage that he was getting progressively more drunk and you just knew that by the time he’d finished and packed away the gear he’d be on you in a flash. And there was nothing more you’d wanted the whole night than to sit on his dick.

That was all you could think about for the last 10 minutes of the gig. Especially when he started singing Sex. The lyric ‘If we’re gunna do anything we might as well just fuck’ just make the wait for him more agonising.

You wanted him so much you were probably willing to beg for it.

Thankfully Matty seemed to be on entirely the same page. As soon as he’d finished singing Sex to close the show, he came off the stage as people were applauding him, walked up to you, and kissed you.

It was a hot kiss and you could feel it again spark the sexual tension between the two of you. You both wanted each other so much it was almost unbearable when he broke away.

He left you horny and dizzy before he left to go back and pack up their equipment. After you composed yourself from the sudden attack to your lips you turned to your best friend.

She didn’t even seem fazed by it this time, she just had a grin on her lips. You were originally meant to stay at hers, but you knew that there was no way that was happening now.

You had needs and so did Matty.

You hated when he left you hot and bothered and waiting for more. It made you irritable and all you could think about was his hands on your body and all the things he did with them.

20 minutes after their set ended, Matty walked toward you with his guitar case in one hand and pulled you up from your seat with the other.

You hadn’t seen any of the other boys before Matty pulled you outside. He put his guitar case down on the ground before pushing you up against the brick wall and reattached his lips to yours.

He tasted like alcohol and that didn’t really surprise you. You had seen him drink so much it didn’t surprise you that it was all you could taste.

He smelled like the expensive aftershave he always wore and as you pulled him closer by his leather jacket you really wanted him to take you right against the wall. You found him so addicting in the stupidest of ways.

And to think, after your crush had bypassed, you used to judge every girl that Matty was rumoured to have been with. And now here you were, wanting him to fuck you against a wall.

You remember you used to think, ‘Oh he’s added another one to the list’ and now you seemed to be the last on the list. 

For now, anyway. 

And you were fine with that.

Matty was sweaty from the gig but that somehow made him more attractive to you. His curls were everywhere from the consistent head banging he’d been doing, and it made him even more desirable.

Maybe it was because that’s what he ended up like after a night in his bedroom and he was always attractive to you there. It could have been that or it could have been the way you could feel how hungry he was for you.

You really didn’t know if you had enough will power to make him wait for you like usual. You liked to toy with him and keep him waiting. Give him the illusion that he was in control but knowing full well that you were the one who decided when it would happen.

But tonight, you didn’t think any waiting would be happening. You were already too far into the game.

Your tongue was in his mouth when you both got interrupted. And much to your disappointment you had to pull away.

“Matty, need your help with the gear mate” George interrupted the both of you.

“I’m a bit busy” Matty almost growled in anger before kissing you again.

 You chuckled into the kiss before you pushed him away from you slightly. You didn’t really want him further away from you, because you quite liked the fact he trapped you against the wall and stole kisses. 

But you would always look out for George.

“You can help them first, then you’ve got me for the rest of the night” You told him, patting on his chest so he would move away from you.

Matty looked at you with annoyance clear on his features and you found his reaction comical. He could see the humour in your eyes and he now couldn’t wait to make you wait for it later.

You diverted your attention from the annoyed boy in front of you and looked towards George. He nodded, appreciating your help and you smiled back at him before patting Matty’s chest silently instructing him to go help.

When you eventually got back to Matty’s that night, you were on each other like animals. You didn’t leave each other alone for hours and you don’t know how you hadn’t woken someone up with the noises that came from both your mouths.

You couldn’t get enough of each other. When you thought you were both finished, you would be quickly back on each other wasting no time at all. It was like you were both addicted to each other’s bodies.

Each time either of you got a taste of each other it was like a chemical reaction took place that sent you both into a frenzy. You craved each other. You needed each other.

And Matty never disappointed. He drove you wild. He consumed your every sense. 

Every touch. 

Every thought. 

Everything.

You didn’t think it could get better as time went on, but Matty proved you wrong there as well. He kept you keen and he kept things interesting.

You couldn’t help but get excited for the next time that you would see him again to try different things out. You ended up going a little bit 50 shades with each other but neither of you seemed to mind.

If anything, it was the complete opposite. You both looked forward to it. It made things more interesting.

You’d been having that much fun that you found time was flying by. You’d seen Matty at least every other day for a shag or two and afterwards you sometimes hung around with each other.

One-time Matty followed you out shopping which you don’t know why he did because he complained the entire way around. He sounded like a pissed off boyfriend that had been forced to go clothes shopping.

Another time after you stayed at Matty’s for the night, the boys all stumbled into his room before you had a chance to leave. Thankfully you were dressed in a pair of joggers and a hoodie as you got cold during the night.

George jumped across you both as you were still half asleep in bed and you’d ended up spending the rest of the day with them. And you did have fun these various times you would both stick around each other.

You seemed to get on really well and you could sort of see the both of you becoming a thing if you were to stick around. However, you hadn’t gone to university and got yourself thousands of pounds in debt to drop out 4 months before finishing.

You did like Matty though and your crush on him started to resurface. But you were getting the physical stuff out of the way and you knew Matty tended not to waste time with emotion. Which is why a conversation you had after a you’d had sex surprised you a lot.

You were both lay in your bed hot and sweaty from the mischief that you’d both just gotten up to. Both of you were lay silent just catching your breaths.

After a minute or two of you both staring at the ceiling and calming down, Matty questions, “When do you go back?”

“In a week” You tell him slightly breathlessly and slightly disappointed that you could only have sex with him a few more times before you left.

“Shame” Matty sighed.

“Why’s it a shame?” You questioned, whilst turning your head to the side to look at him.

“I’ll have to find someone to replace you with” Matty explains turning to look back at you. 

The cheeky grin on his face was adorable.

You smiled at that and let out a small laugh. It didn’t surprise you and you guessed you would be in the same situation when you got back to Leeds. 

So, you nodded, “Same”

“Ah well, it’ll be easy” Matty shrugged before looking back at your ceiling.

You jokingly scoff, “Nice to know I’m easily replaceable” 

But you can’t keep the smile from your face. You ended up chuckling at your own joke, knowing he really didn’t mean it that way, and Matty ends up laughing too.

“Nah you’re good… It’s definitely been memorable” Matty reminisces truthfully.

“Yeah, you looked good in the fluffy handcuffs” You chuckle, grinning at the memory.

He definitely did you remembered hovering over him and having to stop yourself from talking a picture of him in them. It was a fun sight to see, and one you wanted to see again and again.

“Yeah well, you look great with my hand around you throat” Matty grinned, and you couldn’t stop your reaction.

“Wow, serial killer” You laughed, and he laughed too. 

You both couldn’t stop giggling for about a minute until Matty finally calmed down. He’s grinning at you, playing with a lone strand of your hair that had accidentally made it onto his pillow. 

“Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy it” Matty chuckles

“Definitely not denying it. You’re probably the only guy that’s done it properly” You tell him truthfully, but Matty looked at you slightly confused.

You decided to clear it up for him and explain, “The rest just pussy out”

Matty had been the only guy you’d been with that actually choked you with just enough pressure to make the sensation even more enjoyable. Everyone else just didn’t seem to do it right. They either just put their hand on your neck or only applied a little bit of pressure.

You demonstrated what you meant on his throat and you felt him gulp beneath your hand. 

You smiled down at him, “Want me to do it to you?”

You saw his lip twitch up at the thought of it and you chuckled at him as you squeezed slightly tighter before letting go of him.

“Such a fucking tease” Matty hummed, before grabbing you by your neck and bringing you to him for a long kiss. 

You felt him tighten his grip slightly and you couldn’t help but smile as he did it.

“You really enjoy it don’t you?” He questions when you pull away and he lets go of your neck.

As you hovered over him, you nod, “Yeah, I do” 

“Well I’ll do it again if you want before you leave? Keep it memorable for you, so you know what you’ll be missing” He grinned at you.

“I’m mean yeah sure but don’t act like you won’t miss me… I know for a fact that you’ve never been tied down to a bed before like we did after George’s” You told him. You remembered the night well. One of the best nights you’d had with him.

“Er yea...” Matty started but you quickly shut him down.

“No, I don’t mean you haven’t done it to anyone else… I mean no one’s ever done it to you.” You said with a smirk and watched as he tried to find a response.

“What makes you say that?” He challenged you with a little frown.

“You clearly hated not being able to have control over me and you were getting angry to me for it. You hated not being able to touch. It killed you” You smiled, because you knew you were right.

Matty looked at you for a moment and you could see him searching his brain for something to say.

You giggled and shuffled slightly closer to him saying, “See, you don’t have a comeback because you know it’s true”

“And I know it’s true because you’ve started to enjoy it more, rather than getting angry and that’s all down to me” You added feeling empowered by his lack of response.

Matty gave you a look that said, ‘You’re right but I hate you for it’. You smiled down at him when he said “Okay, you got me there but-”

“But nothing…” You interrupted before leaning down to kiss his lips a few times.

“I’m the best and you know it” You smirked down at him, a victorious grin on your face.

“How are you the best if I’ve only experienced you doing it?” He asked, trying to knock you off your high horse.

“Guess we’ll have to wait and see. You can tell me when I’m back after I graduate” You raised your eyebrows at him playfully.

“Wait, you’re coming back here after you graduate?” Matty asked and you nod.

“Yeah I can’t really stay over there. I will have no loan to pay for accommodation and I don’t earn enough at the bar to keep myself going” You tell him honestly.

“We can pick up right where we left off then” Matty grins, and you would love nothing more. 

You just knew it wouldn’t happen just like that though.

You joke, “You mean after you’ve shagged the other half of Manchester?” 

Matty let out a loud laugh at your comment, followed with, “Wow, you know me so well”

You chuckled before bringing your lips down to his again. You wasted no time and climbed back over his body and started making out with him again.

Your little arrangement continued on until the end of the week and you really wished that you didn’t have to go back.

Getting dick was so much easier when it was just one person you needed to ask for it. Going out and finding others was just too stressful sometimes.

You were thankful that when you came home you could have him. And you were thankful for the time you’d had with him. Because he was fucking good.  

After your little speech about control over him, Matty certainly made it clear that he was the dominant party and you were the submissive. He tied you down so tight that you almost thought you would get bruises.

Everything about him exhilarated you. The way he acted like he didn’t care but his actions towards you were so possessive that you knew he did.

You hadn’t even gotten to know him that well since you’d been fucking. You just knew the basics of him. Band. Drugs. Food. Money. Sex. You didn’t want to know anything else because you’d become too attached.

You literally just craved each other’s bodies and you liked that he was begging for it from you sometimes.

Like one time he was driving you back home and you both just couldn’t wait. He pulled the car over and you very quickly got onto his dick and had the most amazing car sex.

He really was incredible, and you found yourself wanting to see him more and more. Like if a day went by and neither of you called each other up you just knew you were going to get the most out of what was to come the next day.

The fact that you both seemed to get on with each other and enjoyed each other’s company even when you weren’t having sex, made Matty’s actions towards you worse. It sort of upset you because after the past two months, you would consider yourself at the very least friends with him, despite only knowing him on a physical level.

So when he didn’t show up to say bye, it hurt more than you let on. You understood that at the end of the day it was just a friends with benefits situation and that he had no commitments to you.

But you’d been fucking him for two months. You thought that the least he would do is show up to say bye after promising he would. That and you’d obviously let yourself become too attached.

You’d arranged a small get together at your house for the people you were going to miss. The people who you didn’t want to lose contact with again and of course Matty and the band were invited.

You’d spent so much time with the boys over the past two months that there was no way you wouldn’t miss their company.

And especially Matty’s. But after promising he’d show up and not doing just highlighted the fact that he didn’t care at all and never did.

When George, Adam and Ross showed up to your house you’d been so excited to see them that for 30 seconds you didn’t even realise Matty wasn’t with them.

However, when you questioned where he was, George noticed that your face immediately changed and so did your mood when he reluctantly told you Matty wasn’t coming.

You did try and put it past you to not let it ruin your night. But George noted that it hurt your feelings, even if it was only a little bit.

What made it worse was that even Steve showed after you’d pied him off all those weeks ago. But the guy you’d been fucking for two months was nowhere in sight.

You don’t know why you expected anything different. After all he was the fuckboy of your friendship group. You just thought because it was a mutually beneficial situation, and the fact that you’d actually considered each other friends, he would come and say bye.

Despite Matty being in the back of your mind all night, you did have a good night. And you hated yourself that you’d booked such an early train back so everyone left slightly earlier than they usually would.

Most parties didn’t end at midnight but this one did because your train back was so early.

The band were the last of your friends to leave as Alisha, Caroline and Y/B/F had to head home slightly earlier than your self-made curfew. You didn’t mind though you’d seen them a lot over the holidays and you knew they had somewhere important to be in the morning.

As the boys left, they each gave you a big hug which was a great feeling. It had been really nice hanging out with them over the past two months and you told them all that and that you’d miss them a lot.

You’d enjoyed getting to know them all again instead of what you saw on Facebook from time to time. They were amazing people and you definitely didn’t want to lose contact again.

George was the last to hug you and you clung to him for a second longer than the others. You really wished you could take George back with you as you had no doubt he’d love Leeds and all the stuff you got up to.

However, it was probably for the best that he stayed because your friends would try their best to eat him up.

You told Matty about their obsession with George when you were lay in bed once. He didn’t believe that they liked him as much as you said they did so you showed him some of the messages.

Matty then joked that if George and Jess ever broke up, he would know exactly where to take him first.

George gave you a tight squeeze before saying, “I’m sorry Y/N”

You frown a little as you look up at him, “What’re you sorry for?”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get him out, I’ve been texting him all night. He’s being a prick” George explained with a sad smile.

You shook your head and smiled up at him. “It’s fine, you know what he’s like. Shouldn’t have been a surprise really”

“Well, I’m still sorry” George apologises, before hugging you one more time.

You chuckled and hugged him back. You savoured the moment because it was quickly over, and he was on his way out the door.

Unfortunately, the morning came far too quickly and you and before you knew it you were sat on the freezing cold train station platform waiting for your train.

Of course, it was your luck that it was half an hour delayed and it was one of the coldest mornings you’d experienced in a long time. It seemed fitting to your mood though. You didn’t really want to go back.

You were sat on your own with your headphones on trying to drown the world away. You were still tired from the night before and emotionally drained to.

You’d had such a good two months and you don’t even know why you let the fact that Matty didn’t show up bother you. You knew what you were getting yourself in to and you knew what Matty was like, so it really shouldn’t have been a shock.

Thankfully before you could let your mind wonder too far into the subject, your train arrived, and you quickly got on. You found an empty seat and tried to warm up quickly. You hated being cold. It was one of the worst feelings ever so you were thankful that you warmed up quickly.

About halfway through your journey, you received a text message that woke you up from your drowsy state. The notification made you jump up and your heart started beating slightly faster from the fright.

You unlocked your phone and saw that you had a text from Matty. You rolled your eyes as you read the blunt message and decided that it was definitely for the best that you were returning back to reality. What a twat.

You put your phone down, without replying and locked it letting the message fade away to the black screen. 

Bye

~*~*~*~*~*~

When you got back to university, Matty very quickly became a distant memory. You had more important things to think about in your final few months than a boy that was just a good fuck.

The only time you thought about him was when he was mentioned when you spoke to George or when your friends joked about him.

Over the two months that you saw him, you didn’t keep him being a good shag a secret from your Uni friends. So, he ended up becoming an inside joke in your flat when your returned, as everyone knew about him.

For example, because you went on about how good the sex was and how often you were receiving it, they could all sense your happy mood when you spoke to them.

Therefore, every time you were in a bad mood at Uni they would say things like, “Aw Y/N, do you need to give Matty a call?” Or, “I’m just gunna go get Matty for you”

You found their banter quite funny and sometimes you played along and when they asked if you were alright, you’d joke, “No but I’ll give Matty a call later on”

You all found the joke quite funny and a few of your slightly less close friends started to quickly understand the joke too. They were all dying to see who he was, but you kept him a secret.

Thankfully, they didn’t know he went under Truman Black on Facebook, so they never found him, and you never told anyone outside your flat that he was in a band.

One night after someone had annoyed you in work you sat down in your flat and told your friends about it. You could feel your anger returning so you made the joke and blatantly said to your friends “I can feel myself getting angry again, should I call Matty now or later?”

This caused your flatmates to laugh and your mood picked up. They distracted you pretty easily, so you never actually did end up calling Matty whilst you were back at uni. Despite wanting to a few times when you were drunk and wanted an easy booty call.

Yes, Leeds was a bit far to travel but you wouldn’t doubt what Matty would do for a shag.

Uni took over your life once more and you were thankful that you’d pretty much got all of your dissertation finished so you could finish Uni without any stress. The first few months back you hadn’t really spoken to anyone from back home other than your close friends.

That made the fact that you received a random message from George at 1am all the more exciting.

Hey Y/N/N hope you’re good. Just wondered if you could possibly sort some gigs out for us at some point in Leeds? No worries if not though :)

You were already up so you decided to reply straight away. You forgot how much you’d missed him until you saw his name pop back up on your screen. You definitely wanted him to come an experience Leeds with you.

You were actually quite excited at the thought of them coming over to your neck of the woods. And you knew you could get them some good gigs. Everyone loved you over here so it would be easy to sort out.

Hey, Yeah of course I will! I think there’s a music festival coming up soon actually and I’ll get you other gigs across the weekend, so you don’t have to come all this way just for the one gig :)

You sent back and his reply was almost immediate.

Absolute legend Y/N!!! knew you’d get us sorted

You chuckled when that came through. God you’d missed how much of a big brother he was to you. You replied to him quickly getting excited at the thought of them coming to Leeds.

Anytime. I’ll go around and ask people about it tomorrow and I’ll get back to you with some details.

And you did do just that. You went out the next day and persuaded the event organiser that it was in his best interest to let the boys headline the music festival on the Saturday evening.

You then went to a bar in town that you knew the manager of and asked them if they would be interested in the entertainment for the Sunday evening. They said yeah and even said they would pay each of them for the gig.

Then you asked your manager at work if the boys could play on the Friday before the festival because it was your music night anyway. He of course said yes because he loved you because you were his favourite employee.

You worked in the student union bar and knew that the people who came in would love the band. You elected to book that full weekend off work because you could see it ending up a messy one.

The boys liked to drink, and you definitely wouldn’t say no if they asked you to drink with them.

You left work and started walking back to your flat eager to tell George about everything. You checked the time and saw that it was 4pm.

You didn’t think it would be a problem if you called him now, so you just rang him. After a few rings you heard him pick up the phone.

“Hello Y/N” George answered in a cheery voice.

“Hello George” You mimicked with a chuckle. 

You weaved yourself through the pavement full of students hoping to make it back to your flat quickly. It was quite nice out today, it was no surprise people were out and about. 

“Please tell me you’ve got good news for me” George said, and you could hear the hope in his voice.

You chuckled, being unable to hide your humour, “George have I ever let you down?”

“No” He said, and you smiled.

“Your girl just got you three gigs and two of them are paid ones” You walked towards your building and smiled when you saw an old friend hold the door open for you.

You mouthed a ‘thank you’ to her and got inside your building quickly. You were so thankful you only lived 2 minutes from your campus and work. It made life a lot easier.

“Are you joking?” George practically shouted down your ear and you couldn’t help but smile.

“No, I swear down” You laughed.

“Y/N I actually love you. You’re a gem!” He said sounding excited before you heard commotion on the other end of the phone.

You quietly heard George tell who you presumed to be the other boys that you’d got them paid gigs. And before you knew it you were explaining to them what stuff you’d booked them for as you got the lift up to the 5th floor.

You assumed George had put you on speaker because you could hear just about every excited thing the boys said as you told them about it.

“So yeah, I’ve basically got you three gigs at places I know” You started off.

“I’ve got you a gig at my Student Union on the Friday night because it’s a music night and they usually get a band in anyway. They aren’t very good so I’ll make sure you go on after them so everyone can hear the difference between shit and decent music.” You explain and you hear chuckles from the other end of the phone.

“Oh, and because you know me, you’ll get free drinks all night with that one as well as being paid for it which you can thank me for later. On the Saturday you’ve then got the music festival that I’ve...”

“Where are we in the line-up for that Y/N?” You heard Matty asked and you rolled your eyes as you walked into your flat and kicked the door closed.

“Well, if you would have let me speak instead of butting in, I was about to tell you that I got you headlining it” You said, and you paused when you heard their excited commotion.

You could picture them sat around Georges phone in the studio with massive smiles on their faces.

You continued on, “You won’t get paid for that one, but you’ll again get free drinks for it so it’s not too bad” You heard murmurs of how good it should be and that the festival would be great.

“Then on the Sunday I got you a gig at a bar in the town. It’s quite nice in there and you’ll get paid like a hundred for doing it along with drinks again” You said before walking into your lounge/kitchen and plonking yourself down on the sofa.

You waved at Ava and silently said ‘Hello’ to her as she was stood making your flats dinner for the evening. She smiled at you and waved back with a knife in her hand. You smiled at her action.

“Holy shit Y/N you’re the fucking best” You heard Ross call and you smiled.

“Yeah I know… Told you I could be your manager George” You say with a laugh.

You heard George get excited aggravated for a moment, and practically shouted at you down the phone, “You actually could. Why the fuck did you leave us and go to Leeds in the first place? We could’ve used you back here”

“Ah well you wouldn’t be getting free drinks now if I didn’t leave” You said shrugging your shoulders and you couldn’t keep the smile off your face.

God you loved George so much. You really had forgot how much you’d missed him.

“That’s true” You heard Adam point out.

“When is this Y/N?” You think you heard Ross call.

“Oh, well, I was thinking you could come up on the Thursday and we can have catch up drinks or something. And then you can all stay in my flat for the weekend because loads of people won’t be back, so I’ve got the room. And the Thursday would be... the Seventh of April”

You heard a silence down the phone and then a few hushed voices. 

“Shit, you’ve already got something planned for that weekend, haven’t you?” You questioned.

“It’s Matty’s birthday on the Eighth” Ross informed you.

“Shit, I can cancel them if you want? I doubt they’ll mind. Or if you want, I can just cancel the one on the Eighth and you can come on the Saturday” You rambled on wanting to sort something out for them.

“Nah nah nah it’s fine. We’ll do them all” Matty told you loudly.

“It’s alright, it really won’t be an issue cancelling them” You said, wanting to make sure.

“Nah, honestly thanks for sorting all of it out. Should be a weekend to remember. As long as we have a hard night out after the gig on the Friday?” Matty suggests and you could practically see the grin on his face.

“That’s fine by me” You said honestly. 

They all knew how much you liked a drink.

“Should be good, I’ll bring all my mates out” You said, and Ava started paying attention to you. 

Any mention of going out, she was all ears. She loved a good night out.

“You don’t have any friends Y/N” Matty called. 

You scoff at his comment, “Ugh, yeah I do actually. The ones that fancy George” 

Ava sent you a knowing look, “Drummer George?” and you nodded a quick yeah.

“Oh my god, is he single yet?” Ava shouted, which made you and the boys on the phone laugh.

“No, and you can’t go near him, he’s practically married” You tell her as she comes and sits down next to you.

“Is she fit?” You heard Matty ask.

You rolled your eyes and say, “Fuck off Matty”

At the mere mention of his name your friend darted her eyes down to you. Her jaw dropped to the ground for a brief second and a second later a grin replaced it.

“Oh! So you’re on the phone to Matty?” She questions loudly, in a very amused voice.

You didn’t answer her you just quickly started a new conversation by asking how the band were going to travel. You saw as she ran toward the door and opened it shouting for your other flat mates, Stacy and Tom.

When they both ventured out of their rooms, Ava asked them, “Guess who she’s on the phone to?”

“Matty?” They say in unison. 

When they saw her reaction and you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling at them. They both looked at you with a big grin, but you wished you’d just ended the call then.

The boys must have heard Matty’s name being called down the phone, so they stopped talking and tried to listen in to what your friends were saying. You didn’t really notice though because your attention was now on your friends around you.

They all came and sat around you and started asking really loud questions so Matty could hear them. 

“Matty what kinky shit does she want you to do this time?” Tom asked.

You sighed at that, especially when you heard chuckles on the other end of the phone. “Surprised you haven’t been on the phone sooner” Ava laughed.

Then Stacy practically shouted, “She’s got a new bed you can help her break in Matty”

“Would you all fuck off, I’m on the phone to George” You practically shouted them into silence.

“Wait, Fit George?” They asked. 

You nod your head, “Yes, Fit George”

“What the fuck?” You heard George say on the other end of the phone.

“Yeah sorry George, you’re pretty famous over here and Ross I have a girlfriend ready and waiting for you, if you’re down” You told them, and you heard them all start laughing.

“Appreciate it, thanks Y/N. But only if it’s you” He joked, and you couldn’t help but giggle at that.

“Ross come over right now and I’ll show you a great time. Matty can vouch for that” You played along and laughed along when you heard them start laughing on the phone.

You drew your attention back to the people around you and noticed that Ava was now sending you fake glares. You smirked at her because she was the one you were going to set Ross up with.

You chuckled down the phone, “I’m only joking Ross, and I’m only saying that I’m joking because I’ve got your soon to be girlfriend sending me daggers right now”

You heard them chuckle down the phone and you murmured, “You have my number Ross, hit me up later babe”

You heard him laugh on the other end of the phone before you heard Ava whine next to you. 

“You can’t fuck a whole band Y/N. Not after last time” Ava said loudly, and you hushed her.

“Wait, you fucked a whole band?” You heard Matty ask and you thought it would be best to end the conversation now.

“Anyway,” You divert from the topic quickly, “Before they force your numbers out of my phone, I’ll leave you guys to it. See you on April Seventh” 

As you said that, you shook your head and glared at Ava. You couldn’t get the grin off your face though.

“See you then. Thanks for sorting it for us Y/N” George chuckled.

“Anytime. I’ll send you all the proper details by text, so I’ll chat to you later” You said as you tried to keep a straight face and not start laughing.

George made you love him even more when he said, “Awesome Y/N/N, thank you so much” 

Bless him. He actually melted your heart.

“Anything for you George,” You cooed before saying a long “Byeeee”

“Cya” You heard them all say before the call was ended. 

Or so you thought.

“So, are you gunna fuck Matty again?” Stacy asked with a grin.

You laughed as you shrugged your shoulders, “Never say never”

Matty heard this through the phone and suddenly he couldn’t wait for his birthday.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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