#I’m going to be doing a regular livestream show too | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

heymeowmao · 3 months ago

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2024.08.13 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321325067017437970567

LYN: Long time no see, long time. Wait for me a sec- I want to turn on the AC. It’s a little warm. LYN: Long time no see. It’s been quite some time since I last streamed. I happened upon a video today- they were saying that I- hold on, let me adjust the sound settings- I haven’t streamed for 46 days? Or something? I heard you calling me, so I couldn’t resist. LYN: There’s a saying, isn’t there? “If missing you had a sound…” I heard that friend- they were howling. It’s been forty-some days since I’ve streamed, so they couldn’t stand it any longer. So here I am. I’ve got to get my month’s quota down quickly. LYN: Let me welcome you in again.

C: I almost stopped being your fan. LYN: Is that warranted? It was only a few days, and you want to stop being my fan? If you’re going to be like that, then let me be arrogant as well: Do you need me to call you a car? If you do, contact my studio and they’ll give you 10RMB for the car service. Goodbye.

C: Lao-da, do you know how loudly I cried? LYN: It’s 9pm, be quiet and don’t disturb your neighbors. I’m only streaming, it’s not like I died. Why are you crying? C: I missed you so much I had insomnia for the past 46 days. LYN: ??? Your sleep schedule is probably not that great to begin with. Try to get some more regular exercise. Adjust your body’s circadian rhythm and it will help with your sleep. Don’t blame your lack of sleep on me. There are so many recorded livestreams, if you have time you should just watch those. You can pretend they’re “live” streams. How can you blame your poor sleep on me??

C: What’s up with the hair down the middle? LYN: It’s for ~the look~. I really can’t talk about anything too fashionable with you. It’s the look. Can’t you see that my top has all these shiny sequins? That’s so I can look cool. And you dare to ask me why I have hair down the middle?? It’s fashionable! C: You’ve been wearing a hat to stream for so many times now. LYN: It’s like this- most of the time I had a whole day of filming earlier in the day and I come straight home to stream. Because I have to apply the wig, it makes my hair really flat. Because if you want to apply the wig, your natural hair needs to be combed very smoothly, and to get clean edges they will use lots of hair wax/gel. By the time I get home my hair is flat and full of wax, so there’s no shape or style. I can only cover it. If I wear a hat, I won’t have to wash my hair. I don’t wash my hair, because if I do then I also have to remove my makeup. … If I wash and remove my makeup, when I start streaming you won’t recognize me anymore. It’s like Painted Skin- you’ll discover a new person underneath. So because I don’t want to remove my makeup, I don’t wash my hair either. Please be understanding and let me wear a hat. I look warm/gentle, don’t I?

C: The weather is so hot but you’re wearing long sleeves. Are you not hot? LYN: There is an electronic in this world, it’s called an “air conditioner.” LYN: You always see this, though. For example- all artists. Think about Hengdian- these days it’s been around 40C. When I look at the weather forecast, it says that the real-time temperature is 40C. Let me tell you- it definitely isn’t only 40C. When you open your phone there’s a weather app, and it will tell you the temperature of the day/time. It might be telling you it’s 39C right now, but it’s not. I don’t know why they can’t report that it’s hotter. Are they afraid of scaring me to death? C: They’re afraid to scare you to death. LYN: Like for artists- and for me who is currently filming- it’s currently 40C in Hengdian. Often, we’ll have to act out scenes when it’s “snowing.” Sometimes it’s at night, but even then it’s 30-35C. And it needs to snow. We have to pretend it’s cold, while wearing a big fur coat. “Wow, how cold. 35C…” There’s just no helping it- because it’s our job. I’ve gotten used to it, for the most part. It’s the same for female artists- in the winter they have to attend awards ceremonies and similar events but no matter how cold it is, they’ll wear a gown. It’s a show of respect towards the event or sponsoring platform. Likewise, I’m wearing long sleeves in my house right now as a show of respect to you. Of course, I hope there is mutual respect here.

C: What’s drama snow made out of? LYN: Usually there are two- three types. What happens if we want snow in the drama when the actual season doesn’t allow for it? There are three things. The first- it’s not actively snowing, but we can place it on the ground. So, for scenes where you see the “snow” has already fallen and gathered on the ground. But we can’t have it fall because this stuff it’s toxic if it enters the eyes/mouth. It can’t all, but we can put it on the floor. Someone told me once, what it was, but I can’t say. It’s not bubbles/foam… more like salt? I don’t know what it is. [instant snow polymer (sodium polyacrylate)] You put this type on the floor. If it can fall from the sky, it’s one of two types. C: Styrofoam. LYN: No, we don’t usually use that. Because once it gets on you, it’s all over. LYN: It’s more like what you would use to wash with- shower gel. Like when you blow on and scatter a mound of bubbles. That’s the first kind- shower gel. They make a thick foam of bubbles and then blow it with the wind machine. The second kind is- C: Made with dandruff. LYN: 去你的! LYN: The second kind is made with sticky rice- it’s kind of like rice paper? They’ll shred it and then blow it through the air; it looks like snow. Why do I think it’s made with sticky rice? Because one time it fell on my lips and I ate it. I didn’t swallow it- I may look dumb, but I’m not ACTUALLY- but I tried to push it out of my mouth and I discovered that it was sticky. They told me it was made with sticky rice, and that it was ok- I wouldn’t die from it.

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LYN: A while ago I went to record for Our Songs, and I’m sure you’re enjoying watching it. I sang… a few songs. - /plays the video for 恋爱画板 and sings along/ LYN: Honestly, friends, I had to sing this with quite a pinched tone. From a performance perspective, it’s not a particularly difficult song or very high key. But the difficulty for me was that I had to use a pinched tone. Normally when I sing, you all know the type of song that I suit- /starts singing 就在江湖之上/- they’re all this type of song. But for this song, I couldn’t just- /sings it powerfully/. That’s not good. So I had to “pinch”- /sings cutely/. There was just no helping it. How else was I supposed to sing it? I had to match the mood of the song. LYN: I had fun filming these couple of episodes, as they’re all people I’m more familiar with. So I felt a lot more reassured during the recording process. I was happy. C: Are you going later, too? LYN: WMDG? I think I’ll go? But I don’t know- I’ll have to see if I have time. I think there’s some sort of finale that I will attend. If I’m remembering correctly, I should be going to it.

C: What’s Music Fate Plan (音乐缘计划) like? LYN: /rolls his eyes around his head to show he’s thinking of what to say/ LYN: I went and recorded… half. It should be four episodes total. I went to be a guest member, for four episodes. But I only recorded for half. You’ll probably see it later. I had fun because I was with people I know. Honestly, I know fewer people as an actor; since I was a singer to start with, I have more singer friends. In my group chats, sometimes they will ask me, “Do you know this actor?” and give a name. I reply, “... Who is it? What do they do?” They tell me what that person has acted in, and I… still don’t know them. Most of the time I’ve heard their name before, but I don’t know them. But as for singers, I think I’m not bad. Let’s not tak about whether I’m close with them or not, but for the most part I know them all. At the very least, I’ve worked with them before. [t/n: not sure, but I think this is in reference specifically to the Music Fate Plan singers?] LYN: I was quite happy to go, but I don’t know- it gave me the feeling that the longer I recorded, the more afraid I got. The longer it went, the more terror I felt. Because I’m a person who likes to joke, but during recording I discovered something. The terror I felt made me think to myself, “Is this okay?? Is it alright to talk to each other like this?? When this show airs, would we not all be cursed to death by the viewers? We must all be crazy.” I can’t believe we said some things we did without filtering it through our brains first. I don’t know! I don’t know what they’ll put on air. It’s possible that if we went overboard, they would cut it out when editing. The more I recorded, the more afraid I got. I would ask the person next to me- Zhou Shen- “Isn’t this a program that airs on tv? Jiangsu Satellite TV, right?” If it were just shown online, it could be more lenient. But this is an official television broadcast. “Are we allowed to do it this way??” I’m not afraid- because I would never say anything terribly bad about others- but just because we played it big with some of the jokes we were making. It’s only because we’re close with each other, so we feel comfortable enough to make these types of jokes. But I can’t help but wonder if it’s… allowable? If it airs just like that I’m sure we’ll be cursed to death by the netizens. I think we were a little bit too much in our natural states.

LYN: Am I trending? Don’t try to trick me! I’m… not worthy. I don’t think I have what it takes to be trending. You’re not lying to me, are you? -- 我不配 (I’m Not Worthy Enough) by Jay Chou LYN: Let me take a look. LYN: 19! 🙂 C: Ning-ge, you’re at 20. LYN: … I was just at 19 but sang a little and now I’m at 20? I can feel your rejection of my music. /sigh/ Fine. I won’t sing. I just won’t sing, ok?

LYN: You can check out Music Fate Plan. I should have gone to record… episodes 7, 8, 9, 10? 4 episodes. I was abe to choose some songs that I liked, and will be performing them on stage.

C: Ning-ge, why are you wearing a hat when you’re home. LYN: I already explained when I started the stream. You probably just came in. When I stop streaming, you can go watch the playback. There’s about 5 minutes where I explain why I’m wearing a hat. If you really want to know why, I can use a short two-word explanation. “Cold Body. (体寒)” “Please understand.”

LYN: I’m quite familiar with the Music Fate Plan guests. What can I say… let me go in order: - Liu Duanduan- We’ve worked together before; we shot a drama together. He was… my brother? …Right. He wasmy brother. So I’ve worked with him before. - Shan Yichun- I’ve met her on WMDG before, and we did a song together. We also released a song for Honor of Kings. It counts as having worked with her before, so we’re close. - Zhou Shen- We’ve been in a lot of variety shows together including one season on WMDG and KSTLB. He’s a close friend. - Xue Zhiqian- I often see him, always on music programs. - Xiao Gui (Wang Linkai)- We’ve also worked together before. I think people enjoyed our collaboration (on WMDG). (烟花易冷) - Zhou Bicang- Actually we… also recorded WMDG together. Why is it that now that I’m thinking about it, it’s the same group of people doing music variety shows?? The group of us have all been on WMDG. I’ve worked with her before, and once for a New Year’s event we sang together. - Huangzi Hongfan- this is a new friend that I’ve met. He’s quite a good kid. LYN: We had fun recording. Because we all know each other, so it was a relaxed mood and we were able to speak without reserve.

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C: Ning-ge, people say you’re an Introvert. LYN: You must not be on the internet very much, because I can see that when some people type comments, they don’t have the “super fan” tag stuck to the back of their user ID. Some IDs are made up of a string of English numbers and letters, too. But I don’t quite know what it means- what’s an I-person and an E-person? I-people are more… “i”? Lol, nonsense. I-people are more... introverted? They don’t like to talk much or make friends, and pretty much keep to themselves. E-people are (extroverts)- people who go anywhere and can get along well, make friends, and have fun. LYN: Actually, a lot of people think that I am an E. “I saw online that Ning-ge accompanies people for drinks.” “He must be good at networking, and can talk himself into projects smoothly.” “He looks so social.” You might think I’m that way, but in reality I… really don’t talk at all. I’m very “i”, and I don’t like gatherings. But right now I’m streaming, so I have to get myself into a “performing state” and stream for you. If I were to be this crazy in my personal life then I’d really be insane. C: Aren’t you pretending to be cool and composed? LYN: I’m not pretending to be cool and composed, I just think that most things aren’t my concern. I’ll keep my distance.

C: Your coworkers say that when you sing Rang Jiu you drink wine. LYN: /lol/ Huh?? Who said that? Who’s spreading these rumors?? After I drink I can neither sing nor act. If I drink, my voice turns hoarse. So I can’t sing. LYN: Also- who’s going around drinking first, then singing? You should really be careful- Do you think this is a KTV?? You could go with your friends to a KTV, eat guazi, pistachios, duck tongues and have a few beers, sure. When you sing after that you’ll probably be thinking you’re the best, and you’re one of the Four Great Heavenly Kings. It feels like you’re singing amazingly. But singing happily and singing for singers, for recordings- is two different things. If you’re recording, you have to be very detailed, and record very many times. It’s not like performing live- that’s actually okay. But in a studio you have to be really detailed and focused. There’s no way I would drink a little before I sing Rang Jiu. Woud it make me appear more carefree?? -- 让酒 (Let the Wine) LYN: This is water! Don’t really think that I’m consuming alcohol. This is pure water.

C: I want to watch your concert. LYN: You have a chance.

LYN: This song is also very good. I wasn’t able to recommend it to you because around that time I hadn’t streamed. -- 作者 (Author) - Interlaced Scenes OST

C: Trending topic is #32 now. LYN: It’s okay. With my level of status and fame, being on the list in the first place is already a great blessing to me. Be it #32 or #89, it’s all good.

LYN: This song from 颜心记 (Follow Your Heart) is also very nice. - /pulls up the wrong song from the OST/ LYN: Oh- it’s called 心悠悠 (Longing Heart). Hold on… - /tries to pull it up but can’t find it (?) so switches track/ LYN: I have to find it and I don’t want to type anymore.

LYN: There’s also another song I sang recently, for A Lonely Hero’s Journey - 孤舟. It’s a good watch, and features one of my good friends. Xiao Zeng-tongxue (Little Student Zeng). If you have the time you can check it out. I really did watch it. A little. I found the time to watch some.

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C: How long do you usually stream for? LYN: I find the time to stream a little, and I’ll only do it for 10 minutes. I finish up in 10-20 minutes. Because I don’t really know how to do a livestream. Normally, I’m not someone who is very good at communicating, so I’ll stream for 10-20 minutes and then leave. So when I stop streaming you should… rest early.

C: Did ZSX give you money yet? LYN: It’s not worth it! I don’t need money for EVERYTHING. I also sang a song for the OST, so- do I really need to say more?

LYN: There are some friends here who keep bringing up the names of other artists, and asking me for my opinion of them. The thing is- what right do I have to judge others?? That’s the first thing. Secondly- I have no right! Even if I say something good, what right do I have to comment? I don’t. LYN: It’s actually really easy to reply to these types of comments, though. If they ask me about anyone I can say, “They’re very nice. Such a good person! Really, not bad.” That’s normal, isn’t it? They ARE all quite good. C: Lao-da, what do you think about Liu Yuning? LYN: Oh, him? You know, I really can say a lot about him. I think that Liu Yuning is just... average. Yeah. Average.

C: Ning-ge, do you have any dramas that will air soon? LYN: Um…. /laughs at himself/ It looks like I’m crazy. LYN: I don’t know. C: The system has a bug? LYN: There’s no bug. There’s a bug in ME. Sorry. LYN: I don’t know. Honestly. As an actor, it’s really hard for us to say when our own dramas will air. The platform doesn’t even know most of the time, let alone the actors. A lot of dramas are released on the fly- they’ll air without any promotion.

LYN: TXJ- you know the drama, I acted as Zuo Bufan- that drama already aired, and I hadn’t finished the recording for the OST yet. Usually I’ll sing an OST for the dramas that I’ve acted in. But it was released so suddenly that I hadn’t yet found the time to record the OST yet! After a week of airing, I finally finished the song and then it was added in. It was really that rough. There wasn’t any promotion prior to the drama airing. C: TXJ was a good drama. LYN: Really, it wasn’t bad. TXJ is a genre that I quite like. When you’re watching it, you’ll feel like it’s different than most other dramas. It might not be a mainstream drama, like most people are into these days. That’s not the style. But… I thought it was an enjoyable watch. If you have the time, you can go check it out.

C: The voice-acting for Cicada Girl is done, right? LYN: Voice-acting is done. I don’t think I’ll be singing for it, though. The demos they gave me… didn’t really suit me. So I won’t be singing, but voice-acting is all done. It’s real-time sound, so I only had to make-up for some parts. Honestly, I don’t have very many scenes in it, either. The whole drama is 24 episodes, so I don’t have many scenes. I forgot how many, but not more than 200. C: I like how you look as Xiao Bei. LYN: It’s just short hair, isn’t it. At the time I was putting on wigs to stream. I’ve also not had much experience shooting moden dramas, so- /doesn’t finish the thought/

C: When will SJYM wrap? LYN: Mid-September or so? I still have less than a month left. C: What are your plans for after wrap? LYN: After drama wrap I’ll… what’s it to you? Why do you have to ask about everything? Don’t ask. LY: After wrap I’ll stay home and idle. No- I have a bunch to do. On the music side, there are many things that I have yet to record. I tend to just do things when I think about them. I was thinking before that I would create an EP of collaborations. I had collected a bunch of songs, but I haven’t even released my album yet and I’m thinking about releasing this EP. I need to find people to collab with, and also work on my album.

LYN: I was planning to go to an awards ceremony, but they require you to report what song you’ll be performing at the event ahead of time. And what a coincidence that it’s been five years after my debut- that’s right, isn’t it? Has it been 6 or 5 years? Six years? Ok, well- It’s been six years since my debut, so wouldn’t it be meaningful if I sang 讲真的? -- 讲真的 LYN: I was thinking, if I sang this song, wouldn’t it be particularly meaningful? I can say,” Look at me then- I was just someone who sang songs at the side of a road. And now I can sing them on this stage.” I don’t know. That’s what I was thinking of doing, but I didn’t end up doing it. I switched the song. But I’ll find an opportunity later to rearrange this song and perform it on a stage.

LYN: (about Fall in Love) At the time this song was supposed to be the first one on my new album. But now it’s been three years since I released it. I was thinking this could be the first song on my second album, and I sang it at the Jiangsu New Year’s event. Then later that same year, I would release the rest of the album. And then? I didn’t release anything else. LYN: I was thinking this was the year to finally release the album, but I don’t know. I just feel like it’s about time and I should do everything it takes to release it. As long as I return to Beijing and record the last few songs, everything will be ready. But because Fall in Love was released so long ago, it is no longer considered part of the album, but as a regular single instead. I can start releasing the rest of it. I’ll send it out of nowhere, straight to your front door.

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LYN: There are a lot of new people watching my stream today- have you only started liking me recently? Huh? I haven’t been on anything lately, why would you start liking me now? It’s unbelievable. C: Centipede fan. LYN: 蜈蚣粉 (wúgōng fěn = centipede fan)? I’ve heard of 酸辣粉 (suānlà fěn = hot and sour noodle). I’ve heard of 螺螄粉 (luósī fěn = river snail noodles). What is an “wúgōng fěn”?? Is it some place’s specialty dish? /laughs/ I’m kidding. I know what you’re talking about. The leaked video about the centipede, right? LYN: Honestly, that was nothing and didn’t have much to do with me. It’s all thanks to the far away paparazzi. I didn’t grab it, it was just a coincidence that I maybe happened to brush against it and knock it off her skirt. This was no main hero saving the fair maiden situation. I just happened to be able to knock it off. Don’t push that on me and make me out to be a hero. I’m not. - LYN: It was a pretty interesting day. LYT and I were filming up on the rooftop. It was a pretty complicated scene, overall. And then after a while, about ten minutes into the scene, I started hearing shouts from across the way. /unintelligible screaming/ But from that far away, the only thing I could make out was “Li Yitong”! That was the only thing I could hear. I was joking with her too, saying, “Hey! Your fans are out to support you. You’re too amazing. You even have fans hiding out in the mountains to support you. Thanks for letting me “fly” (be in the photos) with you.” I was thinking, “There are fans who would hide out in the mountains just to provide support?? That’s amazing.” But then I saw them start to point. I was looking around, thinking we had unknowing bared ourselves? But we didn’t- everything was covered. I hadn’t seen it yet. I had no idea what was going on. Then, from the video you saw what happened. - LYN: It was so strange! I’m sure of one thing- after everything, when we knew it was a big centipede- I had told her, “The events of this night are worthy of more than one hot topic. We’re going to have at least one.” Just like I predicted, the next morning there was a trending topic at #1. That bug’s size was just too great. The length was worth it. The more amazing thing is that I’m sure one day many friends will watch this drama, and when you see that scene you will say, “This is it! The centipede scene!” I’m sure that’s all the comments will be talking about. C: Does the centipede get any screentime? LYN: I don’t think we recorded it. LYN: The centipede that day reached the height of its popularity.

LYN: Someone asked me earlier when I expect my new dramas to air, and I really don’t know. Honestly, I also don’t have anything in stock. All of the previous drama that I’ve filmed for- the ones where I have fewer scenes- have all finished airing already. I’m not sure when the rest will air. I haven’t even done the voice-acting for a lot of them yet. So I don’t know when they’ll air, but we’ll just wait.

C: Lao-da, I’m almost celebrating my birthday. LYN: ? What does that mean- “almost”? Is it coming soon or is it today? LYN: To everyone who is celebrating their birthday today- I wish you a Happy Birthday.

C: Ning-ge, will you act as a dominating CEO? I think your breathy croak is not bad. LYN: What breathy croak? I can’t tell if you’re trying to compliment me or imply something else.

- /Talking about some art that a fan had made? A mosaic? I don’t get the reference, but Ning-ge thinks it’s romantic./ - /I also don’t know what they talk about next. Something about putting on/taking off his clothes?/ C: Ning-ge, when you say it like that it sounds shameful. LYN: Isn’t it, though?? What are you girls thinking about all the time? You got happy even seeing a mosaic??

C: Do you die at the end of SJYM? LYN: … Uh… This is… /gulps/. I can’t spoil it. You’ll know if you watch it! Who knows if I’ll die or not??

C: Lao-da, will there be a music festival 4.0? LYN: Of course, as long as I have the time. This drama had been difficult to shoot. I don’t know why, but I feel especially tired. Oh- uh, of course, I am not complaining. I’m not trying to say that my work is tiring- there’s none of that. Acting as a profession is not a tiring thing. I’m just trying to say that personally, because I am in bad health- I either have the chills or diarrhea- because I am a weak person, that I find shooting this drama is tiring. I feel tired because am in bad health, not because the work is hard. I’m getting older and can’t hold out anymore. /coughs/

------ break #1 - /laughs at the video of himself he put up/ LYN: I’ve just discovered that maybe I used to be a lunatic.

LYN: I was scrolling across weibo today and I saw something. My friend Yizhe, went to CMBF, right? Wang Yizhe. I think their first public performances are done already. If I’m not seeing incorrectly, I think he’s ranked last. LYN: Brother… LYN: If you (are eliminated)- Please don’t blame gege. I didn’t do it on purpose. I was just joking. I didn’t REALLY shoot the support video for you that way. That’s also not was I was thinking in my heart. LYN: You have to take care of yourself! Jiayou! Next time you’re working on a song, could you ask me? You have this friend who does music, don’t you. I’m considered a singer. You can ask me- not that I’m trying to tell you how to do things, but we can communicate and think about a good way to execute your performance. I can provide some ideas. Don’t just try to do it quietly and on your own. Don’t do it by yourself. LYN: I have two friends on this show- one was Fang Yilun, and he left after one round. This one is called Wang Yizhe and I’m really afraid that he’s going to fold after one round too. I’m afraid for these two friends. Yilun really did leave after one round the last time. Next time when you’re choosing the song you can talk to me about it. I can break it down for you.

LYN: I watched your stage! I watched your performance of 问风. I watched it. Let me tell you, you can’t change the song like that! /laughs/ You could have asked me!! Oh wait- what if I know the person who rearranged it? No- I was joking! That performance was amazing! But the voting is really unpredictable. The song is great, and the arrangement was the best! Amazing! Luxurious! Friends- let’s appreciate this performance of 问风 together. You can experience it. Listen to this- -- /analyzes Yizhe’s perf of 问风 on CMBF/ - /thinks the adlibbing was unnecessary and surprised himself by guessing the direction the melody would flow, lol/ - /turns into a drummer/ LYN: That’s it?!

LYN: This is… let me check who the arranger was, first. Ok, well. If it were me, I wouldn’t- I would probably also do it sort of like this. I feel like the arrangement was great. - /tries to get his “thumbs up” filter to work/ LYN: Overall, the song is not bad. LYN: /to WYZ/ But the next time you’re choosing a song, you can communicate with me. I might not be the most professional out of all the people you know, but I can brainstorm with you. - /plays the song again/ LYN: See? It’s really got me. I can’t help but want to hear it again. LYN: Just- If it had entered into the chorus (without the adlibbing), that would have been really satisfying. Keep the momentum going. But I know that they probably had a time limit of at least 1m30s- a performance within 100 seconds at least. His performance was 1m25s, so 95 (85) seconds. Relatively short. So you could have cut the adlib, and just come back to it at the end instead. That would have been enough. If it were me, that’s how I would have done it.

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LYN: The other day someone told me that this song 当遇见你 (The Moment I Met You) is coming back around again. - /goes around thanking people for using his songs, and tells his fans to do the same instead of trying to start fights because of it./

C: Lao-da, how much longer will you stream for? I’m going to sleep. LYN: What time is it? 10:40p. Okay. If you’re sleepy, then go to sleep. You don’t need to tell me. Just listen to a song before you go. - /plays a loud/raucous song to wake people up/ LYN: I’ll stream for a little while longer before I stop. It won’t be too late since I’ve got to get an early start tomorrow morning. If you want to sleep first, then go ahead. C: You don’t have any secrets to tell? LYN: I can’t use the jokes I make in my stream every time! If you’re wondering why this friend would ask this, it’s because the last time someone wanted to leave to go sleep, I said, “You go to sleep. Now I’m going to tell the biggest secret in the entertainment industry. If you’re not here, you won’t be able to hear it.” I hooked them, so they didn’t want to go to sleep anymore. But this time, if they want to sleep I should just let them. It’s a Tuesday. Last time was a Saturday or Sunday, I don’t remember. But on a Tuesday people have work or school the next morning, so let’s not disrupt their sleep. Right? Rest well.

C: Are you still working out? LYN: No. I gave up. There was a day I felt I was getting fat and thought about losing weight, but after a whole day of filming I’m tired and don’t really have the energy to work out. So I thought I would try to control my eating, so I was on a diet for about 20 days. Now I’ve lost about… from my heaviest (most recently) until now, I’ve lost about almost 10, maybe 9kg.

C: Ning-ge, I lost my dog. Could I borrow Daimi for two days? LYN: You must be crazy. You can’t borrow her.

C: Ning-ge, can you recreate Hei Xiazi’s look? LYN: There’s nothing really special about his look. Rather- not that there’s not anything special, but it’s not difficult to do like a guzhuang look would be. Xiazi is just shades and some unkempt hair, and a leather jacket. Cargo pants. Gloves. That’s about it. C: Hurry. Change. LYN: What do you think I am? You think you can just change my clothes: “This hat isnt good. Take it off. The hair color doesn’t work. Lets dye it pink. Add glasses!” Is that what you mean? You’re thinking of me as an Yuning-nuan nuan? After picking on my profession, now you’re starting to micro-manage my look? You’re playing with me?? - /puts on some shades/ LYN: Wow~ /laughs/ This one doesn’t work. The shape isn’t right.

C: Can’t I use technology? [t/n: ??] LYN: That’s what I was trying to say earlier!! If you’re playing that game that lets you change the avatar’s clothing, you still buy the outfits with real money or by buying the lottery tickets. I’m letting you watch my stream for free, and you want me to change clothes too? LYN: I used to change, remember? I changed into the baby cabbage shirt. I changed into a green/yellow shirt, and as soon as people saw me they started telling me, “Ning-ge, you kind of look like a cabbage.” It was demoralizing, because I had just bought that shirt. It was a few thousand dollars. I was planning to wear it on a variety show, but then you all started snidely remarking that it made me look like a cabbage. I never touched that shirt again. My studio found it one day and asked if I wanted to wear it and I told them, “No! Get rid of it. Give it to my makeup artist. I never want to see this cabbage shirt again in my life. I will also never EAT cabbage again.” C: It’s not worth it. LYN: /villain laugh/ How is it not worth it?? It’s very worth it. You don’t know how much pain that experience gave me. For the first time I felt like I was very “菜” (cai = poor/weak). - C: Raffle it. LYN: I won’t be. /sigh/ Friends, what can I say? My fans, honestly, are very much different from everyone else’s fans. My fans are slightly more mature- they’re not particularly agitated. But for example, sometimes I buy these beads and after I buy them I don’t like them as much anymore. After you buy something, you might see something that’s even better and then not want the one you already have. I was thinking I would take one strand and separate it into three, then raffle them. I had really thought about it before, because I didn’t particularly like them and it wasn’t worth it to sell them to other people. But the thing about raffling that makes me worried is that the people who are not able to win a bracelet would then become disappointed in me. They’d get angry. LYN: Before, there was the vinyl. I forget how many copies there were- 8,000? And I said, “If you can’t get one, it’s okay.” It was a limited number- only 8,000. Then, because they were unable to attain a copy, some people stopped being my fan. The reason was because they weren’t able to get one of my vinyls, were unhappy, so they stopped being my fan. C: 8170. LYN: Yeah, 8,000 copies. C: The master skill of the jianghu- “quit being a fan and trash everything on their way out”. LYN: No, this fan didn’t trash things on their way out, they were just too expectant to get a vinyl. Later I saw that scalpers were also selling them. They didn’t have the number, but I think you could still buy them. C: Ning-ge, if someone did “quit being a fan and trash everything on their way out”, what would you do? LYN: I can’t find the words. I’m speechless.

C: Ning-ge, I’ve been admitted into high school! LYN: Congrats! LYN: You’ve been ADMITTED into high school? Oh- it must be a better-off school. I don’t know too much about it. You didn’t provide context. If you had said, “Ning-ge, I’ve been admitted to the best high school in my area”, then I would be happy for you. But I… went to a technical school. I learned how to be a cook. After middle school I went directly into a technical high school to learn how to be a cook. - LYN: But the other day I saw someone say something quite apt. They said, “Just because LYN has learned to be a cook, doesn’t mean you can throw all your pies at him and have him heat them and just wait to eat.”I thought about it and suddenly realized that yeah, they have a point. There used to be all sorts of dramas that would announce “Female Lead: ABC, Male Lead: Liu Yuning.” As soon as those three syllables popped up (LYN) people would start to furiously curse me out. “Is he worthy?!” “Why him??” Sometimes when I saw that happening I would sit there dazed. Then I would ask my studio- “Did I receive this script?” And they tell me, “We’ve never heard of it. D:” So what can I do? Get yelled at for nothing! LYN: It’s like this- first, they throw out a “Liu Yuning”- treat me as a skillet. Heat me up to 3000° and then throw the pie (the drama) on me. The want me to heat it for them. Then, they’ll say, “Oh, the male lead ISN’T Liu Yuning.” So people respond, “Oh, thank goodness. That’s fine, then.” They’re playing this trick! They’ve done this to me before. C: Ning-ge, it’s called a “dian bing ceng” LYN: “Dian bing dang”! Am I the cook, or are you the cook?! We’re different. We’re not talking about the same thing~

LYN: What’s happening- what are you people trying to sell under my weibo livestream?? Friends- please be aware- never buy anything claiming to sell you illegal videos on weibo. I won’t get into specifics, but PLEASE don’t. Other than female viewers, I’m sure there are many male viewers in my stream. If you see an advertisement on weibo claiming to sell you a video of something that you might be interested in, it’s a scam. They’ll use this method to steal your personal information to do some bad things. LYN: For example, if they claim to sell you a bunch of videos on a USB, you’ll open it and find Journey to the West instead. Or the Calabash Brothers. Tom & Jerry, etc. Just wait and see. That’s the first thing. The second thing is, there might be a lot of you in the stream who aren’t my fan. You might see, especially on weibo, people claiming to sell concert tickets. These types of scammers are common. I have a friend who was tricked. - /explains the whole process of how a scammer would set up the bait, get your info, then steal your money/ LYN: As soon as they’re done scamming you, they’ll block you. You won’t be able to find them again, nor will you be able to get your money back. LYN: If there’s one thing to remember: never give anyone online ANY of your personal information. C: I don’t have money. LYN: If you don’t HAVE money, then they wouldn’t be able to scam you, because you wouldn’t be looking to buy concert tickets (you can’t afford) in the first place. If you don’t have money, you won’t be tricked. C: I don’t have a bank card. LYN: You won’t be tricked either. It’s funny that you even put that out there. No money, no bank card. Why are you telling me this? If you don’t have money, then they’ll use your personal info to apply for a loan. XD

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C: Ning-ge, how do I hide my phone in high school? LYN: /laughs/ Huh?? Do you think I’m an AI, or what? You’re asking me just anything now?? LYN: You’re in school, but they don’t allow phones, so how should you hide yours? Well, most people hide it- How would I know?? I JUST told you that I attended a technical school. I didn’t go to high school. First off- I want to tell you that I don’t know how you should hide it, because I never attended high school. Forget about cell phones, I had to bring knives to school! We went to school with two knives in our backpack. Do you think phones would have been a problem? They weren’t. Two knives, a box of carving knives, pointed knives, u-shaped, v-shaped- I carried knives to school with me. If you ask me about how to hide a phone, I really don’t know. Secondly, if you’re going to school what do you need your phone for? You should be focused on learning. Don’t bring your phone. Just play at home. C: Ning-ge, you carry more knives to work than [character]. LYN: No! I was learning how to bea cook. It’s reasonable that I had to carry knives. C: What about the pot? LYN: When we went to school we had to carry the knives, but we didn’t have to carry the pot. The school has pots. We (the students) didn’t need to carry them. LYN: Also when we were first starting school, they wanted us to buy our knives- the very long kind. /measures with his hands/ The blade was this long, and the hilt was here. This knife is called a “sanhulu”. It was a very thick and heavy knife, because when we’re training with it, we had to strengthen our wrists. C: You really had to buy your own knives? LYN: Yeah, if you’re learning of course you’ll buy your own knives. - LYN: But! I know as we’re learning we had to carry our knives everywhere, but it’s not like any of us would have had the guts to take them out. It’s not like we were walking around with knives in our hands- that’s illegal. They had to be in the backpack and we could only take them out at school. Also- to that friend who asked if we had to carry our pots to school, no- /sarcastic/ I carried a tank of propane with me. I carried two tanks of propane, in case I’d be cooking and there’d be no more fire. I’d go to school with two knives in my backpack, a chopping board on my head, and two propane tanks. I look like Iron Man.

C: Ning-ge, praise me. I am 170 in my whole prefecture. LYN: Amazing. Jiayou. I’m sure you’ll be a pillar of the nation in the future. Learn well. Improve every day.

C: Ning-ge, did you do military education? LYN: Yeah, we did. Why not? A technical school is also an official school. It’s just that you learned math and language, so you can go anywhere without fear. While we carried two knives, and also could go anywhere without fear. It’s the same. The content we learned was different, but they are both official schools.

C: Did you have homework? LYN: Yes, of course. For example, if you learned carving in the morning- we had a lot of different courses: batters, frying, carving, knife skills, theory- safety and sanitation. Those are all the things we had to learn. So for example if we learned how to carve flowers in the daytime, we would go home and practice to turn something in the next day. It’s not something we can apply a formula to and calculate an answer for. It takes practice, so you’d buy a whole sack of radishes home to practice on. After ten or twenty times, you’ve finally got a complete on that you could turn it in. We would often have carving competitions, too. At the time, I held second place for my cohort. But that was only one time.

C: Wasting food. LYN: If you’re going to say it like that- you’ve lost the point. First of all, I think “wasting food” is a little bit exaggerated. Secondly, after I finished carving the radishes, we took the bits and to make soup. Are you trying to say that letting me eat it was a waste of food? LYN: We weren’t carving and throwing away the pieces. It’s not as if I was in the middle of the street and letting the shavings drop to the ground before returning home. Think about it- would a well-off family let their kid go learn to be a cook? Of course we weren’t well off, so when I finished carving we would dice the leftovers and make fried radish balls or radish dumplings. I would never throw it away and my grandparents would beat me to death if I tried. It wasn’t a waste of food. But if you think letting me eat it was a waste, that’s true. Because I eat a lot.

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C: Ning-ge, if I’m under the sun a lot during the day, how can I not get tan? LYN: If you have any methods, you can tell me too. I also get tan. No one can avoid the sun. A huge sun at 40C is like… an oven. It’s an oven.

C: OMG! A living Ning-ge! LYN: ?__? What do you mean a “living” Ning-ge?

C: Ning-ge, will you stream on 8/17? LYN: I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to, so that’s why I’m streaming in advance. 8/17 is a meaningful day for us. It’s a holiday for my fans. I was thinking of streaming but I don’t know if I’ll be able to. That’s why I came today, just in case.

C: I want to watch The Truth S3! Will you still record for it? LYN: Probably. We just finished this year, so next year… we’ll probably start shooting in Q1. Variety shows are separated into quarters- Q1, Q2, Q3, Q4. I think we will record a S3, because this year the ratings were pretty decent. I don’t want to self-praise and say we did very well, but I think we did decently at least. With all things, if there’s an interest then there’s a higher chance of continuation.

C: Ning-ge, your “cold body” (体寒) is trending. LYN: My “cold body” is trending?? I was only making a joke. Don’t tell me there are a bunch of doctors and TCM practitioners lining up to check on me our of curiosity? They’d like to cure me? For a cold body, I suppose they’d put danggui (female ginseng) and goji berries in a tub and tell me to soak my feet in it? To restabilize my body temperature? Are the people who made this trending studying traditional medicine? You’ve made me a case, and won’t stop until you’ve cured me? Such is the responsibility of a healer. C: Ning-ge, stick out your tongue and let me see it. LYN: I… will not let you see it. I don’t want you to actually see something if I show you. What if I really am weak and you can prove it? How do you expect me to continue on in this business? What if I’m actually sick and I don’t know it? Even if you can see that I tend to get diarrhea, that would be bad if the news got out.

C: The middle hair is really so distracting. LYN: You’ve seen it all night already. But my studio even sent me a message telling me to move it, because they say it makes me look crosseyed. - /glares into the camera/ LYN: Even my studio is on me about it. - /moves the hair to the side/ C: This looks much more comfortable. LYN: Yeah, but don’t you think this makes me look a lot more naive/foolish? - /starts referencing a douyin: Hello, I have a hoodie. I want to ask online, if I wear it, does it make me look loyal. Like a big-eared dwarf?/ LYN: Who do I look so loyal after moving my bangs? LYN: This won’t do. I still need to make it look decent. /moves it a little/ Okay. This does not make me look as loyal.

LYN: I’ll stream for a little longer. I need to wrap up before 12a today because tomorrow I’m in hair and makeup at 6:30a. That means I have to wake up before 6a. So I’ll stop streaming, wash my face, sleep for five hours, then get back to work. Okay? I’ll stop streaming at around 12a. But first I’ll use the restroom.

------ break #2

C: Ning-ge, the clothes that you wore the last stream have all been sold out. LYN: Oh, the T-Shirt? The fox one? (Nick Wilde, Zootopia)

LYN: !! There are still people spamming, “Ning-ge, stick out your tongue for me to see.” You must be sick! I don’t need your services! Thank you, Doctor!! Doctor, please rest early! C: Ning-ge, what should I do if I have rhinitis? LYN: Why don’t you get in contact with that person from earlier, who wanted me to stick my tongue out? They’re a doctor. They can check you out. See if they can cure your rhinitis for you, or tell you what type of medicine to use. Go ahead and direct message each other, I won’t be needing their services. LYN: Look at this, friends! It may look like you’re in my livestream, but actually this is just a huge public discussion board. Just now, there was a patient and doctor who were able to connect with each other because of it. I am just a platform. It’s possible that just by streaming today, we have cured someone who is suffering from rhinitis. Let’s congratulate this friend.

C: /announcing that they got admitted into college/ LYN: Congratulations. You’re amazing.

C: Ning-ge, do celebrities drink water. LYN: You must be sick! I can’t stand you being weird like this. What “celebrity” am I? Friends, I’m just an internet celebrity. (网红 // internet famous) LYN: Everything has to drink water. Even horses and cows drink water.

LYN: Before, when I first debuted, people would fall over themselves cursing me out. “LYN, what “singer” are you? You’re just internet famous.” The fans at the time- the ones who have been with me from the start- felt bad for me and would rebuke. “LYN is not internet famous, because he has never accepted business proposals or done influencer marketing.” They would try to prove me worthy. “LYN has this song, we welcome you to listen to it.” etc. My fans would try to back me up. But now when I hear the words “internet famous”, I think that it’s a really funny thing. My friends probably aren’t as sensitive about it anymore. To me, it’s just an… an experience that I won’t deny having had. Right now I’m streaming- so what does that make me? A lot of celebrities have also started streaming- what are they? C: 轻舟已过万重山. (starts quoting Li Bai; describes the poet’s pleasure of going through all hardships and entering a smooth journey) (x) LYN: It’s not that serious! Its just that a lot of the time- - /trying to set up for an ~emotional~ moment, but is having trouble finding the track/ LYN: Where did it go? Where is it?! - /found it/ LYN: ~ Honestly, most times it’s like this- In your life you will encounter many moments that you think you cannot overcome. You’ll feel like you’re suffering, conflicted, and helpless. But in truth you’ll discover that when it all passes, it was nothing. ~ LYN: I’ll need to download this bgm to somewhere easily accessible, so I can find it faster the next time. Ok. I’ll open it quickly the next time.

C: Blogger, I would like to hear 寻一个你 (Looking for You). LYN: They called me “Blogger”! /laughs/ Oh- wei-BO, so “blogger”. I understand. Of course, I count as a blogger. So... if you want to hear 寻一个你, then I suggest you go on a music platform like QQ and search for it. You may listen to it then. Ok, Netizen? If you call me a Blogger, then I can only call you a passionate Netizen.

C: I got into the best university in Lanzhou. LYN: That’s great! Wow. I’m jealous. Good luck. Do well in school.

C: Ning-ge, in KSTLB which snack tasted the best. LYN: I can’t remember the brand anymore. Also, we don’t have any business collaboration, so I won’t be recommending anything. When they find me to work with me, at that time I will fiercely recommend their products to you. The problem now is that if I recommend them… there’s no collaboration. Forget it. Also, it wasn’t the best thing I ever ate- it was okay. I was just hungry after a day of shooting.

C: Give me a hint when the next time you’ll stream will be. LYN: I don’t know when the next time I can stream is. There’s really no saying. Sometimes if I wrap up with work early, I’ll come to stream. But other times if I wrap early I’ll go to record songs or do some other work. But know that as long as I don’t have something else to do, I will come to stream.

LYN: Our Director Guo is here? Guo Hu? Welcome. [SJYM Director] LYN: We’re almost done with shooting SJYM and it was really great working together. I’m sure that you all are looking forward to and will like this drama. I’m really looking forward to it.

C: Ge, is your English good? LYN: My English? It’s great. Amazing. Really. My old friends all know that my English is great. I can communicate with a native speaker with no problems. Absolutely none. Because I… don’t talk to any. I don’t want to talk to them. But I was the English class representative in my school. We were all learning to be cooks, but in my class my English was the best. Everything you’re typing in the comments, I can for the most part understand. Things like, “Marry Me” and “Kiss Me”. How shallow. LYN: Look at the English you’re typing- it’s also just so-so! “Baby” and “Can you kiss me?” It’s all this type of comment! Can’t you say anything more high class and professional?? Give me a challenge. Don’t just come here and “Honey, honey”- /starts singing/ - who wouldn’t be able to understand that? LYN: What is “go to sleep with me”? You want me to go die with you?? I won’t be going, thanks. “Sleep” is a state of sleeping, right? But once it reaches a certain extent, it can become “dead”. So “go to “die” with me”- thanks, but I won’t be. - LYN: Don’t type anything too long because… the comments move too fast for me to read it all. LYN: “I will only…” what? Some of you are also typing in Korean. 😐/sigh/ Korean… I know! -- If You LYN: See, I can. I know a little of everything.

C: Speak some Korean. LYN: What do you know!? Come on, someone who knows Korean, come rate me. What do you mean “speak some Korean”? You must be kidding me. Friends, let me play the original track. I’ll sing, then you can hear if I sing it exactly the same- then you’ll know. LYN: This English reads, “G-Dragon/P.K/Dee.P” [t/n: he’s actually doing really well… for the parts he can keep up with XD] LYN: That’s about enough. Isn’t it (his Korean) good, though? Someone asked, “Speak some Korean” but I sing exactly the same, so how can I be “plastic” (fake)? At the very least I’m made of carved glass, which is pretty amazing. C: You were just matching the shape of the words. LYN: /whines/ That’s not it! - /tries without the backing and sings terribly XD/

C: Taiwanese Minnan. LYN: For this, I have to break out the song- LYN: For any Minnan friends in the stream, I request that you please leave and come back after five minutes. Please leave, and after five minutes I will give you a call to let you know to come back. Now all that’s left is people who can’t understand Minnan. -- 无言花 (Silent Flower) LYN: That’s about enough.

-- 爱拼才会赢 (Fight to Win) LYN: Maybe another Cantonese song, and that’s about it. If it’s Cantonese, then I have to take out the one I’m best at and most familiar with. My Cantonese is pretty perfect. Very standard. Let’s start with a slow song. -- 月半小夜曲 (Half Moon Serenade) LYN: Okay, let’s not play around anymore. I should sing a song well to end the stream. This is a Cantonese song that I like very much. Man yof you have already heard me sing it before. But my favorite- no, I can’t say that. It’s a song I really like. -- 无赖 (Rascal)

LYN: I’d like to thank you for tuning in to my stream tonight. Thank you for your support and for keeping me company tonight. It was great to have you, and I hope you had fun. Let’s meet again in the next stream. Goodnight everyone!

#Liu Yuning #lyn livestream #(2:38:29)

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feverinfeveroutfic · 12 days ago

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now—just a disclaimer—I completely understand that I’m going into very treacherous territory here with this, especially when I don’t personally know Alex (so save your fucking comments). This is totally a leap of faith and returning to the theory I had back in 2022 (but I was too afraid to articulate it because it’s… well, it’s serious). I’ve matured a lot since then, and I’m also just watching how things are playing out between him and her and now obviously Testament.

but I found this website back then, and it admittedly was the thing that got me to thinking “something is off here with Alex, like… something shifted.” And I would think about it a lot as his mom got sick and then his dad died, and just watching his face and his behavior and how it has all shifted in the last two years.

so, let me just show you all

the signs.

when you read about guilt tripping, it’s all about just that, making someone feel bad. I will never understand why but it’s so common with charity work, especially if it involves animals (look no further than those godforsaken aspca commercials that are like 5 minutes long; i literally can’t watch those because a.) I want to save them all; and b.) it’s textbook guilt tripping).

and frankly, she fits the profile for someone who guilt trips on a regular basis (not very social = has difficulty communicating and setting boundaries; patronizing and tone-deaf = regularly gets under people’s skin by saying bullshit like “oh, I’ve worked so tirelessly!!”) in my time in engineering school/the world of STEM, this is really common, especially with women. Trying to be like “one of the boys” while being obsessed with femininity and maturity and appearances, and not really having a full understanding the outside world. I had the misfortune of knowing women like that, and I was like oil and water with them because they would do things like try and be eccentric (when it just comes naturally to me).

But then, this comes into play:

I have watched that man’s behavior change and morph so much in the last two years, from friendly and close to everyone, to… oddly aloof, except on his livestreams. I’ve also seen his behavior change to aloof and even cold on Facebook and Threads. I don’t have twitter anymore so I can’t say—but the fact that he’s still on twitter after everything that’s happened over there the last two years is oddly telling to me. Letting go of something that you’ve had for years and years and has been a significant feature of your life is painful, but you have to let go at some point.

I’ve found that this is a symptom of someone who is being abused (it doesn’t mean that everyone who struggles with letting go is being abused in some way, though. Food for thought).

but. There is this:

the man is a deer in the headlights every time her name comes up (I remember this well the first time I saw her on his livestream)

is all over her profile (and not in the gushy, boy crazy manner that I do with him, or like I used to do with Ben shepherd). This would explain why he lets her get away with bullshit that he would reprimand other people over (obviously not quarantining, wearing inappropriate clothes for certain situations, wearing clothes that—sorry—she’s got absolutely no business wearing like a miniskirt)

i’ll never forget the one time he posted something and he literally called himself “insufferable” (seriously, it is tattooed on my brain). There’s healthy self-deprecation and then there’s that.

people who are decreed as “shy” or “introverted” tend to be icebergs, speaking as a former shy person myself. I have vivid memories of people freaking out over me having a short fuse when I had been calm and collected the whole time. I know she’s hiding something… and he’s afraid to say what it is for fear of beholding the truth about her.

he has no children and there’s too much opacity, so it’s hard to confirm 3, 7, and 9.

but what do you want to bet that if he was split up with her and cut off all ties with her right now, he’d be guilt tripped for it? “What’s the matter, you don’t want to help animals, asshole?” Like that.

see the point about calling himself “insufferable”. I’m getting all the flashbacks to my sever lack of self-esteem. I wasn’t unfamiliar with words like that applied to myself. Behind that cool demeanor is a man crying.

see the last point above. You know he won’t hear the end of it.

A nerdy man with a sweet, almost seductive smile who now constantly looks tired and frightened. Could just be age settling in but it just seems weird to me because he always looked full of energy and life in 2022.

he does strike me as someone who’s depressed, speaking as someone who’s dealt with depression, and watched her father and stepfather both struggle with it, especially as he gets older and especially as of late. “I’m going to be how old?!” Yeah, he was joking around when he said that but I just think of his tone back on his birthday. Every one coming quicker it feels like. It’s a tour birthday. I’m so tired. I heard this all the time before I turned 20, which was the thick of my depressive episode.

he did drink quite a bit last year. And he frowns at pastries and sweet things but is happy to drink beer…… I’m getting all the memories to my stepdad refusing something my mom made and calling things like cake fattening but was happy to guzzle booze until his liver gave up.

being unkempt… or (and I was thinking about this when I saw this), all of a sudden really cares about his appearance. Running 3-4 miles, which is absolutely lethal on your joints and bones, especially as you get older. Drinking that godawful green shit. Eating more vegan stuff. Being critical of baked goods and sweet stuff and having this attitude about it all that almost feels out of character for him: dude, you’re humble and the guy up the street, why do you think you’re better than people who like that stuff? It triggered me quite a bit, but I started thinking about it more and more.

and yeah, he just… doesn’t look well.

don’t think he’s being physically abused so I skipped that box.

but I did go to this.

all of a sudden, he’s mentioning her a lot. All of a sudden, she’s running Testament’s social media accounts and joining them on their tour. Being the one taking photos of them like the calculating neurotic little fuck she is (and Chuck doesn’t look too happy about it, Eric doesn’t want to be in the same room, and Alex once again is a deer in the headlights). Bringing alex into park slope cats and not giving him proper training to the point she’s breaking protocol.

though I’ve been offline from instagram not even a week, I haven’t seen him on facebook or on threads. I know he hasn’t blocked me because I can still see him.

***edit: just caught him on facebook seeing Iron Maiden. But again, it’s out of character because he’s usually kind of finessed about these things. This “guess where I am” thing gives me all kinds of questions, namely… where you going with this.

I have a very sinking feeling about this, too.

I never told anyone this, but after my first concerning posts, he actually messaged me on Instagram and told me not to worry about it, mainly because it was obviously upsetting me and there’s really nothing I can do about it because there’s thousands of miles between us (or it could be that he’s that far gone). That was really why I started writing seasons grey: I kept thinking about what I would do if I lived near him.

two years on, and things seem to have only gotten progressively worse on his end. And if he’s reading this… here you go, Alex.

Whether you want to admit it or not, maddy is going to have you killed. This seemingly perfect woman is going to have you killed in some way and it absolutely wrecks me that I can’t be Christine and pull you away from her, help you clear your head and help you heal.

god knows I tried.

What’s really heartbreaking about all of this (besides the fact that I can’t physically do anything and people generally think I’m crazy), is how little resources there are for men in these situations. There’s hordes of resources for us, but who’s looking out for our counterparts?

I want him to be strong. I’ve been relaying that onto myself (especially after this year).

and again, Alex, if you’re here right now, letting go of something that you’ve had for years and years and has been a significant feature of your life is painful. But you have to let go at some point. especially when your life is on the line.

#alex skolnick #someone help him please #text

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kirk-says-wah · 8 months ago

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I have kind of a dark request? It's a modern setting but imagine everyone from like '88-'89 and Kirk and Lars seem like regular dudes (and they were roommates 👀) but they actually run a dark web streaming service where they torture people to death on Livestream at night and they abduct Dave (idk how they go about doing it maybe he's a prostitute or maybe they lure him there with drugs) and they use him for their Livestream BUT they see that this particular Livestream including him is getting much more views and money (because he's so pretty duh) so they decide not to kill him right away and keep him alive to use him for longer BUT they don't realize that James actually knows Dave so after like a week James starts complaining that he hasn't seen his 'friend' (👀) in like a week and he's worried and he shows them a picture of Dave and they're like 'Oh Shit' so now they have to decide if they kill Dave or let him go. This may be too much for a one shot request lmao. I just thought it was an interesting concept but I'm too busy to write it myself and also not as talented as you!

So I know this wasn’t next on my list to write but I couldn’t resist any longer! I just love this idea hahah. Thank you for the ask! I hope you don’t mind that I’m making it into a chaptered fic ❤️

PLEASE READ THE TWs!!!

𝐃𝐢𝐞 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐄𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 - 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏

Pairings: Kirk/Lars

Tw: torture, murder, blood, gore, violence, kidnapping, drugging

You can also read it here

“Please.”

It’s pleaded, barely there, blood bubbling between dry lips.

Kirk just smirks, digging the knife in deeper as he sinks it into the man’s side, hearing him cry out and writhe slightly in his restraints.

The boy doesn’t really have much strength left, not with how long Lars and Kirk have been playing with him.

Lars tuts, yanking the guy’s head back so that their eyes meet.

Kirk pulls the knife out, wiping it clean on his jeans before looking back at the clock.

They’ve been at this for five hours now, and he knows it’s probably time to call it quits.

He nods at Lars, who smiles, scratching his fingernails into the guy’s cheek.

“You’ve done so well,” Lars murmurs, though still loud enough for the camera in the corner to hear.

The guy shakes, flinching under Lars’s touch.

Kirk brings the knife up, holding it against the man’s throat.

Big, doe eyes plead with him, telling him to just let him go, but Kirk won’t. This guy’s worth too much to let go of now.

But still, Kirk hesitates. He can’t help but let himself get lost in the guy’s dark blue eyes, thinking of what this guy will be leaving behind. Maybe he had a family, maybe he’s got friends looking for him. Normally these things don’t bother Kirk, but something about this kid has him halting.

He hears Lars huff before the knife is pried from his hands, and he watches on as Lars plunges the knife into the centre of the guy’s neck.

The man splutters, bucking against the restraints, a thick gurgling noise pushed from his throat as blood starts to gush down his front. Lars leaves the knife in, and Kirk knows well enough that it’s probably because it’ll get them more money.

Lars bends, sticks his fingers in the pooling blood before gripping the man’s chin in his slick fingers. The guy continues to gargle, frothy, pink spit foaming from his mouth as arteries spurt, skin making a hissing noise. It goes on for longer than Kirk thought it would, but eventually the guy goes limp, head hanging backwards, the but of the knife still jutting out from his neck.

Lars is still holding the guy’s face, smearing blood over his cheeks, pries his slack jaw open, just to stick his fist in, see how far it will go. When Lars pulls his hand back out there’s blood up to his elbow and there’s tendrils of veins and sinew in between his fingers.

Kirk pulls the knife out just to hear that sickening squelching sound, the inside of the guy’s throat spilling out over pale skin, the structure of his neck buckling, slanting inwards.

Lars lets go of the man’s face, letting it whip backwards, mouth still wide open, before giving Kirk a brief smile, walking over to the camera to finish the stream.

Kirk wipes the knife on his jeans again, kicks at the body in the chair just to watch it jostle lifelessly.

“Woah dude, that was awesome,” Lars exclaims, hovering by the computer, blood splashed across his cheek.

“How much did we make?” Kirk asks, tossing the knife to the floor, fingers sticky.

“5 grand,” Lars says, triumphant, raising back up. “That’s two in a row now above 3.”

Kirk laughs, moving to pull Lars against him, their chests sticking together with drying blood.

Lars smiles, cupping his cheek with a bloodied hand before pulling Kirk into a kiss. It’s rough and brutal, but Kirk practically turns into goo in Lars’s grip, the metallic taste almost heaven on his lips.

“Did you get his name?” Lars says when he pulls away, breathless, tucking a piece of hair behind Kirk’s ear.

Kirk tries to think back. He’d found the guy in a bar, all bushy hair and full cheeks, and he’d gone along with Kirk easy enough, had followed him back to the house without any problem. He remembers when he’d bought the guy a drink, that he’d held his hand out, introduced himself.

“Jason,” Kirk says, squeezing Lars’s hips. “Pretty sure it was Jason.”

Lars flicks his eyes over to the body, nodding thoughtfully.

“Yeah he looks like a Jason. Write that on the wall.”

Kirk nods, glancing at the wall behind him. There’s an array of photos from their livestreams, some of them have names, some of them don’t. Kirk knows he should feel sick looking at such diabolical pictures, but all he can feel is pride. He and Lars did that, together, and they’re making money from it. Obviously, they’re not the only sick puppies in the world.

Lars lets go of him, moving to untie Jason from the chair.

“Are we burying him with the last one?”

Kirk shrugs, goes to help Lars untie Jason’s legs.

“May as well. We’re gonna start running out of room soon.”

Lars hums, lets the ropes fall to the floor.

“It’s a shame. I kinda liked him,” he says, thumbing across Jason’s limp cheeks.

Kirk unties the last rope before standing back up, tugging on his arms. They don’t budge, and Kirk looks down to notice that his hands are nailed into the chair, several iron points stacked together, welded and twisted into the guy’s hand.

“When did you use the nail gun?” he asks, pulling a bit on the nails.

“When you went to the bathroom,” Lars says. Kirk just pulls a face.

“What? I was bored,” Lars exclaims with a laugh, and Kirk can’t help but smile too.

He tugs on the guy’s arm twice, hard enough that it rips free from the hand nailed into the wood of the chair, blood gushing from the open wound where his wrist should be. Lars does it to the other arm too, and Kirk guesses they’ll just have to dispose of the hands separately.

“Well, guess it’s your turn to get the next one,” he says, because they always take turns to hunt down their target.

Lars grins, baring his teeth, blood dripping down his front.

“My pleasure.”

— —

They’re scouting out a new bar when Kirk spots him; their next target.

He’s a tall dude, taller than both he and Lars, long red hair flowing past his shoulders, face sour as he sits hunched over at the bar, obviously not really in the mood to talk to anyone. That always makes things difficult, but Kirk knows Lars is the best at persuading people to do things in his favour.

Kirk nudges Lars next to him, nods at the redhead at the bar.

Lars lights up, eyes raking over their new subject.

“Nice choice,” Lars murmurs, squeezing Kirk’s knee gently.

The guy looks strong, muscles bulging out of his arms, shoulders wide and jaw sharp. If this was a fair fight, Kirk knows the guy would probably beat both of them single handedly.

Lars passes him a small bottle under the table.

“Wait until I’ve got him facing the other way,” he says, and Kirk nods, pocketing the bottle, palms sweaty.

This is always the hard part, the hunting, the catching their prey. It’s always a risk, always hard for them not to get caught or worse, but at this point they’re pretty skilled in getting who they want to come with them. It’s just a knack they’ve managed to hone after many missed opportunities.

Lars gives him one last look before kissing his cheek quickly.

“I’ll see you in a bit.”

Kirk nods, watching as Lars gets out of the booth before sauntering over the guy.

Kirk watches as the guy doesn’t even look at Lars as Lars sits next to him, sitting as close as possible.

Kirk thinks at first that the guy’s not gonna take the bait, but then Lars is flipping his hair over his shoulders, giving his best smile, and the guy finally looks interested.

They talk for a while until the guy forgets about his drink, turning to face Lars head on now.

Kirk takes that as his cue, scoots out of the booth, careful not to trip on the table on his way out, holding the small vial in his palm, unscrewing the cap.

He walks in the direction of the toilets, but he purposely passes Lars and his companion, quickly dumping the contents of the bottle in the guy’s drink before anyone can notice, before heading into the bathroom.

That’s it, all they’ve got to do now is get the guy in the car. And then they’re home free.

Kirk goes to the sinks as soon as the door closes, splashes his face with some water to try and quell the heat that’s rising in his cheeks. He can’t tell if it’s from anxiety or excitement, but he doesn’t want people asking questions, so he tries his best to look nonchalant, practicing his face in the mirror to try and look stoic.

When he’s satisfied, he peeks back into the bar.

Lars looks past the guy, and gives Kirk a shallow nod.

It’s time.

Kirk approaches them, putting a hand around the guy’s back.

“Are you okay, man? You look like you’ve had too much to drink.”

The guy blinks at him, dazed.

“I don’t-“ the guy tries, but it’s slurred and quiet, and Kirk just shakes his head.

“Cmon, you can come back to ours. Get yourself cleaned up before you go home.”

The guy doesn’t protest, and Lars gets up to help Kirk pick the guy off the stool, guiding him out of the bar before anyone can catch onto what they’re doing.

The car isn’t too far away, but the guy keeps stumbling, and Kirk has to slug an arm over his shoulders to keep the man upright.

Soon enough though, Lars is unlocking the car, and they bundle the man into the back seat, careful to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself. No, he has to be in perfect condition. No one likes to work with damaged goods.

Lars turns to him then, slipping a hand around his waist.

“Well, that was easy,” he says, and Kirk laughs, bending forwards to kiss him softly. Lars still tastes like blood, but he always does these days. Kirk knows he’s probably no different.

“Did you get his name?” Kirk asks when he pulls away, moving to open the car door.

“Dave. His name is Dave.”

#metallica fanfiction #asks #my fics #die dead enough

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enneamage · 2 years ago

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people have been saying this but I hope this shift is what makes tommy really step back and evaluate what he's doing bc his content has kind of been all over the place and he keeps making jokes he seems to regret I think in part due to this persona he thinks people want or he's afraid to drop and I don't know tubbo that well so I can speak to how mad he is but it's clear between the marriage bit and the snapchat jokes tommy has crossed a line and I'm hoping a genuine conversation can bring him back down to earth from this over the top content prioritizing mentality he's seems to have taken on and as much as I think tommy is a natural entertainer streams right now are not his friend I think they are too much pressure maybe losing some of his audience and having to rethink/rebuild might be the best thing for him honestly bc he seems so afraid of losing his current audience he's driving them off

I feel like the loss of public trust because of his connection to Dream and his Tubbo-endangering content-brain are separate pieces, even though they’re happening at the same time.

Tommy is very likely going to keep his relationship to Dream, and probably has an opinion on the information he has about the situation rather than just ignoring it. He hasn’t said anything explicit, so I can’t say anything definitive either, but he behaves like someone with moral doubts about the situation. I would have to know way more about what Tommy’s opinion of ethics and power dynamics are than I will ever realistically know to be able to say anything further than that, but I feel like I need to let people down easy on this one. Tommy is not letting go of Dream because of what’s happened, and he’s made that clear. His joke showed his hand (not about the immediate situation but him being on joking terms about Dream), but it was always there, so this moment was both accidental and inevitable. Because most of the talk on twitter is about his connection with Dream over the joke at this stage, there’s not much that can be done with Tommy’s values being what they are right now.

I’m not sure what time you’re comparing it to, but both his streams and his Youtube videos seem about as regular as I’ve ever known them to be. He seems to be really trying to get it together lately, maybe not ethically but career-wise. I know people are worried that his content-brain is going to cause him to damage the relationships in his life, so he’s got the classic battle for the Youtuber soul: work-life balance, both time wise and morally.

The wedding video was questionably moral. It was also really good. As a viewer how in-tune you are with Tubbo’s emotions or how he thinks is going to change your experience of videos wildly, and I think the same goes for streams. Tubblings have been suffering both for and on behalf of their streamer, and I fully get that, but it is an issue that’s mainly within the two-person dynamic between them. Unfortunately, Tommy has always trampled Tubbo in some form or another so this is less a recent development and more him being able to do so through more and more extreme means.

I don’t want to dip too far into Mages Theory Of Self & Persona but the short version is I believe that for as long as Tommy is put in the unique situation of sitting in front of a camera and addressing the public he’s going to have a persona for doing that. I know that his twitter persona deliberately playing tone-deaf is driving people crazy right now because he’s flagging deflection and apathy when that’s exactly what people are afraid he really feels. People get pissed off at it for the exact reasons why it works, it’s unserious and provocative at the same time, which was the kind of deadly attention grab he used to turn towards a lot more when he was younger. I think it’s a big mistake for him to signal that he isn’t listening or taking things seriously right now, but that seems to primarily his twitter approach and not what he puts out in videos or livestreams.

People seem to keep saying that losing his audience is freaking him out, but I haven’t picked up on raw panic from him yet. He seems to be reaching for a new context to be stable in, but I don’t think he’s acting out from pure anxiety right now. He’s talked about the idea of coming to peace with a smaller but more involved audience, and it seems to resonate with him. He’s making changes but he doesn’t seem more erratic to me than usual.

I’ve known of people who tend to blurt things out nervously that they don’t mean to say, and Tommy has always struck me as that kind of person. I’m compelled to say he used to be worse before he was taught moral guidelines, we can hear him talking about what can/can’t be said and what would be a stupid idea to say a lot more often now. It’s at least on his mind and you can see him thinking about it from time to time, even if things come out without him meaning for them to. It really feels like a trait he’ll never have total control over even if he changes as a person because of the way his comedy and his disasterbrain are connected. I would like him to get better with this, but it’s a hard trait to tame.

Overall things are shifting for him and he’s in the middle of a number of tense situations, but I don’t see him deprioritising content anytime soon. He can be very stubborn so I think he’ll try and fight his way upstream to evolve what he does over taking a break, so time will tell how his methods change.

#gen tmmy tag #tubeposting #this was a long-un it's getting a readmore

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pillowxtalk · 2 years ago

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svnandmccn:

Jina had to stand up. She even started pacing around her room, still holding her phone. What a flirt. If he were a regular guy, he’d be nothing but red flags for Jina. So confident, so cocky, so flirty, and worst of all so handsome. “And he’s talented, too.” She rolled her eyes as she thought about just how much she was flirting with someone that wouldn’t have even noticed her on the street.

Keep reading

As Hongki had started the livestream he hadn’t expected to come across someone in the chat that would catch his attention. And despite the young male knowing how to flirt and liking it, he only did it to this extent if he was interested in someone. And part of him hoped that Jina was aware that he wouldn’t act like that around just any fan. Her words had set something on fire inside of him and he really wanted to meet her face to face. There was no turning back now for him and he hoped the young woman felt the same way.

The leader of Renegades was well aware that his livestream was going on for way longer than he had originally planned, but he couldn’t care less. He was used to running on little sleep only, plus he was way too looking forward to meet Jina to be tired tomorrow. The idol wanted nothing more than make the best first impression face to face. He hadn’t been lying as he told her he wanted to get her hooked. And if she was only a small fan of his group then she should be aware how determined he actually was.

As her username popped up again he read what he had to say before chuckling lowly, amused by her words. Then he looked straight into the camera once again, his lips forming a cheeky grin this time. “I’m certain that you will show up. But it won’t hurt to make extra sure. The more eager you are the sooner you will drop by. If it comes to meeting you I confess I’m rather impatient. I feel no shame admitting it.” The young male said, his tone still flirty. Then he closed his eyes and pretended to have to think.

As he opened his lids again he stared down the camera in a playful manner. “I want to feature in those daydreams of yours, make sure your heart races if you wake up from them. I’m not sure whether you have such daydreams already.” Hongki said, allowing his tone to be a bit seductive while imagining the effect it might have on Jina. He wished even more he could see her in that moment, to make sure he wasn’t the only effect by this. The young male chased thoughts away for now to focus on reading her next messages.

“I assure you that I got a lot to offer. But the question is can you handle it all?” The idol asked in a teasing tone before holding another wink for the camera. “But now you got me curious. What do you think I am hiding?” He continued and just a moment later a mischievous grin came onto his lips. “You want to know what I hide under those clothes?” Hongki mused out loud before he tugged on the collar of his shirt before peaking down. As he looked back up he wiggled his brows in a playful manner. “I know many people would love to know.”

The young male had already decided he wanted to keep Jina around and it didn’t matter that he hadn’t seen her yet. His gut feeling was telling him he would be drawn to her even more once he laid eyes on her. And he trusted his gut feeling blindly. Also so far it didn’t seem like the young woman wanted things to stop either. His attention was caught by the next messages coming from Jina. “Can I decide in what form I will pay you myself? And that should be a big indicator of how interested I am.” He teased, actually curious whether she would recommend any places to visit to him at some point.

Hongki moved a bit closer to the screen again, chewing lightly on his bottom lip as he read her next messages with clear amusement. After finishing the last he let out a playful growl while he pressed one of his palms against his chest. “You’ve no idea how much I wanna hear those kind of thoughts. But reading your words makes me sure you will tell me in person before I lose my mind. And I’m pretty sure I knew what kind of thoughts yours are... your mind is as much in the gutter right now as mine.” The leader of Renegades said, enjoying their conversation even more if that was even possible.

Hongki didn’t think he would ever feel so drawn to someone without having met them in person, but he was pretty much arching for someone he didn’t really know. But he intended to change that soon and so far it seemed Jina would come to meet him. There was only so much flirting he could do right now and so many more aces up his sleeve he wanted to show her. Jina really had no idea what she had gotten herself into. It was fair to say though that the idol was very confident that she would love it.

As his phone screen lit up again he nonchalantly picked it up and read her text there while pretty much ignoring the chat again. “As you already guessed, this is important again so excuse me.” He said after glancing at the chat once before he continued to read. The young male chuckled to himself before already replying to the text messages. There was no way he could answer them later, he was way too impatient to read her replies.

[sms]: You know my group so you also know we all love to break rules. Even there is one just implied we will go against it. It’s a fun thrill.

[sms]: I won’t change my mind.

[sms]: Whenever you feel like showing up I will be in the studio. There is no other place I will be tomorrow. I’m so easy to find.

After sending those messages he went back to answering some questions popping up in the chat, ignoring the riots asking what he was thinking right now. His phone screen lit up again and he grabbed it without thinking. It was kind of sad to read that Jina was tired, but he also didn’t want to keep her up too late so she wouldn’t show up the next day.

[sms]: I’m about to end it.

[sms]: Will it help if I promise to send you a selfie once I’m up tomorrow morning?

[sms]: I can even post it on our Instagram later so you know you were the first person to see it.

Once those texts were send as well he looked at the chat, tilting his head as he read how many riots were feeling sleepy as well. “I think it is time that I release you guys. Thank you for keeping me company. I hope you will all have sweet dreams... even though I’m sure some of you have more of a hot dream... you’re all a nasty but I love you for it. See you soon.” He spoke to the camera before making a piece sign next to his face. Then he turned off the camera so the live stream ended, hoping it wouldn’t mean that his conversation with Jina ended.

#svnandmccn #jina.#hongki interaction

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jjkyaoi · 4 years ago

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i’m surprised there’s not more ghost hunter!sbi au’s or just general paranormal!sbi au’s. anyway, take this.

(yes this is because i’ve been watching buzzfeed unsolved again recently, what about it)

wilbur’s the one with the main youtube channel, and before they started really doing paranormal shit it was mostly,,...,,, like his actual channel? just him doing dumb shit w/ his friends— yes he does play minecraft in this au. don’t ask me how he went from minecraft from hunting ghosts, it is something that none of us know.

techno’s the one who actually came up w/ the idea, because in the family he’s always been the one who’s been most obsessed w/ paranormal things, for a skeptic. he’s always constantly wanting to push the limits of things people aren’t sure actually exists— he always wants to see how fast he can die when he fucks w/ things that are potentially dangerous, so he’s a dumbass, and he brought up the idea of ghosthunting to wilbur, who’s also a dumbass & always accepts dumb ideas and plays them out, so of course he says yes.

the first ever paranormal video they did was a livestream! it was basically just wilbur and techno exploring this old abandoned house in their neighborhood that had rumors of paranormal experiences, and trying (and failing) to find ghosts. it was mostly just them fucking around; just techno calling out and taunting the air, daring it do something, and wilbur laughing nervously and telling him to “shut the fuck up” most of the time, but then eventually he’d get roped in and then it’d just end in w/ these dumbass twins just taunting the open air. ,,,,it didn’t go successfully. they didn’t find anything worth while, and they’d thought that’d be the end of it— that’d be the last paranormal video they’d ever make, but it turned out that their viewers really liked the concept & their general dynamic—the majority of them just liked techno, but shh—so they were like; “ykw,,,,why not. turn this into a thing” & then they did.

none of them are professionals. they’re sort of just taking the paranormal places they’d hear about at face-value and going there just to,,, scream and yell at open air?? eventually they do get more ‘professional’ and actually get the correct equipment and they do end up finding actual ghosts, but at first it’s laughable. take the whole ‘ghost hunters’ thing with fucking gallons of salt

before the paranormal videos started coming out, wilbur only ever really told stories about his family to the viewers— wilbur’s fans hadn’t met the sleepy boi’s yet, so these entire series is just wilbur’s fans getting to know ‘em, basically. ,,,,techno is a fan-favorite

at first it’s just wilbur and techno doing the ghost hunting, and the fandom had gotten used to those two and their general,,, shenanigans?? but for awhile, there was this conspiracy about who was the camera guy, in their videos? there were these theory videos, circling phil’s blurry image holding the camera in mirrors that they passed by in the places they went, “#CameraManConspiracy” was trending for like,,,. so long until wilbur and techno made a whole video revealing it and just went “oh yeah btw this is phil; he’s our dad and he records the videos so we don’t like. burn the places we go to down or somethin’”. everyone on the internet lost their fucking minds . phil actually showing up in one of their videos and talking was a pretty big demand for awhile until it actually happened, and ever since then he’s been known as dadza; the man who brings the camera and the common sense. (half the time, though, he’s just egging his son’s mischief on, but shh he’s the common sense).

tommy didn’t join their little group until like way, way later? in the paranormal videos he was just spoken about by phil, techno, and wilbur? he was more just an afterthought— just mentioned like ‘oh i bet tommy would hate this’ or ‘should i bring this home and show it to tommy?’ and everyone on the internet was like; ‘who the fuck is tommy’. he was one of the family members who’s arrival was like,,, really dragged out? the sleepy boi’s kept teasing him coming on, kept saying ‘well, he’ll come on eventually, when he wants to, be patient’ and for like months he did not ever show up, and the fandom theorized that tommy wasn’t even fucking real for a decent amount of time until, finally, he showed up.

it was a Q&A video, actually, where he showed up— their first and their last. they’d gotten a question about tommy—well, they’d gotten millions, but they just answered one—and they did this whole dramatic pause, looking solemn and saying ‘yeah, you got us, tommy isn’t real —’ and then tommy immediately burst into the room, screaming at the top of his lungs, and ran at the camera. that’s where the video ended. on twitter for days there were blurry screenshots of tommy’s form and the hashtag “#HE’SREAL???” was number 3 for days. he’s been apart of their group ever since

out of all of ‘em, techno’s the one who’s constantly at the forefront of taunting the ghosts. amongst the fandom, he’s known as the one who isn’t human, because of the fact the motherfucker always does shit that would kill the regular person, but he always comes out unscathed— half of the fandom thinks he’s possessed. he’s either taunting the ghosts or pranking tommy just to scare the shit out of him—who, always falls for it, despite how much he denies it—either that or he’s just in the background making jokes— motherfucker never takes it seriously.

wilbur’s the one who tries to take it seriously, but because he’s w/ these fools it always backfires on him. he’s always the one who’s asking the ghosts questions abt their personal life or doing theories about how they could’ve died, but in the end he’s always roped into some stupid shenanigans by his brothers and then just ends up taunting the ghosts. he’s known as the fandom’s conspiracy theorist— also, no one fucking knows if he actually believes in the ghosts or not??? man just makes theories. he’s more of the common sense than fucking phil is sometimes

phil is the camera man, as he’s established, but as well as wilbur he’s the one who communicates w/ the ghosts more often, and by that i mean the motherfucker is a ghost magnet. when the activity by techno and wilbur is always stagnant, on phil’s camera’s there’s always orbs caught by him, there’s always voices heard whispering by him— the ghosts seem to like him. half the time he’s just laughing behind the camera, but also the other time he’s trying to converse w/ the ghosts; he’s the only one who actually gets ‘em to speak and he’s never phased by any of it.

tommy is the one who’s the most scared out of all of ‘em, of course. motherfucker is always yelling, regardless if there’s something going on or not. he’s the type that thinks his increase in volume hides the fact that he’s scared, and he’s always challenging the ghosts to a duel or yelling ‘IM NOT SCARED’ only to piss his pants a second later. either that, or he’s wandering off ‘cause he got bored— there’s been more scenarios than the sleepy boi’s would like where they’ve lost tommy in the places they visit to. and, he ends up scaring himself even more when he gets lost. he’s also always the target for wilbur and techno’s pranks because he’s just that easy w/ paranormal shit

tubbo is also a pretty reoccurring character in the paranormal videos, but he doesn’t ever stay. he was first introduced by tommy, of course, coming onto the video as the ‘family friend’ (which is deadass just a roundabout way of saying he’s the unofficially adopted kid), and whenever he’s on their videos he’s also one of the most scared ones, but simultaneously,,, man constantly tries to talk to the ghosts? he gets scared by a too sudden sound or gets freaked out by the ghost stories, but a second later he’s in the corner fucking talking to,,, thin air? man’s known as the cryptid of the group. he constantly makes friends w/ the ghosts but it just looks like he’s talking to himself. (,,,, perhaps.,,,, tubbo can see,,,,, a little bit more of the paranormal world than we can? but that’s just spoilers)

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meichenxi · 4 years ago

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Hey, could I ask you how you do shadowing? Like the different ways you do it? You mentioned in your tag that shadowing is good and I'd love to hear how you do it! I do not attempt shadowing much so I don't really know what helps, etc. ToT (my studyblr is rigelmejo)

Hellooo! Thank you for the interesting question!

Tbh I think I do it fairly basically - I don’t use any particularly fancy software, but software like Language Learning with Netflix has certainly made it easier. There’s a whole video on how to get the most of it here: [on mobile, link didn't work - How to study Chinese with Netflix! by Chinese Zero To Hero] (I’d recommend checking out all of their videos actually, they’ve done a bunch of livestreams recently and they place a lot of emphasis on shadowing + the course they are trying to sell you is…actually phenomenally good)

(Also, I have to preface this by saying that I have been very lucky in terms of pronunciation: I learnt about 80% of my current vocabulary by ear without characters or pinyin. I have been in China for eight months in total, and while I didn’t speak Chinese for all of that, I was constantly soaking in info on natural sentence intonation. I still often don’t know officially what the tone of a vocabulary item is, especially if it changes tone like 教, 为 or 相, but I don’t get yelled at so I have definitely internalised a lot of those changes. I definitely would have more trouble with this if I hadn’t had that experience - my other areas are waaaay weaker because of this though- my reading SUCKS lmao and I can literally handwrite about ten characters)

Anyway. How I shadow:

1) Quite simply by playing the line, and repeating it with all the emotion it has!! I usually use Netflix or Viki for this. I try to do it as fast as possible, and if I can’t do the whole thing, I ‘chunk’ it: if I were doing the sentence 我们还不知道他会不会来, I would start from the end with 他会不会来, then 不知道他会不会来, and then the whole sentence. Notice that this isn’t breaking it down into words or even grammatical phrases, but intonational phrases: it would be perfectly sensible to just do 会不会来 without the 他 but realistically, since this is a question, it’s likely that a strong stress will be placed on the first 会, and you wouldn’t be able to replicate that without also included the more weakly stressed syllable before.

2) I locate (intentionally or subconsciously) the main locus of stress within the sentence, and I focus on that accordingly. Tones may become less extreme if they are not stressed, and may become more exaggerated if stressed. This is always a good exercise. I accompany this with physical actions - I throw my hands down, I sigh, I groan!

3) I put away the text, and don’t look at the tones or even my computer screen - more on this below.

4) Finally, when I think I’ve got it reasonably accurate, I’ll record them speaking the line into my phone with an appropriate pause for copying and play it back to myself at various points throughout the day.

5) I then go and find other words with the same tone contour to slot in, and copy it again. After that, I find words that are slightly different tonally and pop them in too.

6) I finally do fun things like hold a conversation with myself. This can be really simple phrases imbued with some kind of emotion - 这个女子到底是谁呀？为什么不认识我？应该是新手吧。You can do this either really informally, or very formally, or both - trying to speak in the latter way is very fun! So then it’d be idk something more like: 那位姑娘是何人，来自何处？This is fun because you can really slow down your speech and sound as elegant as you like!! (this will sound stilted if you do it for modern speech, but it’s a very fun exercise)

Choosing your media!!

1) Don’t use donghuas. Seriously. The voice actors usually speak at a ridiculous pace and not with the same range of ‘normal’ intonation

2) Your Chinese is definitely good enough to recognise when anyone is quoting poetry or speaking in a paricularly sexy literary way so, uh…don’t do that. That rules dramas like Nirvana in Fire OUT.

3) Modern dramas and reality TV shows CAN be great, but they can also be quite intimidatingly quick and almost too mushy at times. I’d recommend informal speech in guzhuang dramas more, because they have professional voice actors and extensive sound editing, meaning that although it might be fast and the vocabulary harder, it’s actually much more accessible and easier to copy. You don’t want to be stuck with the awfulness of 50% failed foreigner and 50% 12 year old boy who can’t enunciate properly!!

4) CHOOSE YOUR WEAPON WISELY. I try to find characters that speak in a dramatic, whiny or childish way. This is so important! There’s literally no use copying Lan Wangji unless you want to be able to have that particular cadence and tone of voice you get reciting poetry. Childish/whiny/dramatic characters on the other hand stress some words very strongly, and rush others together - this is great for hearing what actual real speech sounds like. Whininess wins. In The Untamed, characters like Wei Wuxian (not yllz!wwx but just…regular wwx), 一问三不知 Nie Huaisang, Jin Ling, and Jingyi are all great. Also Jiggy, who is just very extra constantly and speaks much slower as well, which really helps. In SHL characters like Gu Xiang are good.

5) CHOOSE YOUR VOICE WISELY! If you are really aiming to copy them 100% (which you should try at least sometimes), you want somebody with your pitch range to sound normal. I have a sort of party trick in Chinese that because I’ve spent so much time listening to women in guzhuang dramas I can change my voice and sound like a) a scheming concubine with honeyed words, or b) the voice of the Beijing metro. My teacher found it hysterically funny. But it’s not my natural voice, and if I speak like that for too long it hurts. The women usually are too high for me, and the big burly manly men too low - so I’d recommend finding a man with a higher voice, or an older woman (like some of the female characters in Nirvana in Fire). Again, sorry that this is mostly the Untamed (I’m just most familiar with it) but the voice actors for Wei Wuxian and some of the juniors (+jiggy) has a higher voice. Likewise Chengling in Word of Honour.

On intonation in general:

- The thing is that whilst shadowing is useful it requires prior ability in a whole bunch of other skills that you can train - it relies on your ability to accurately mimic pitch, emotion and other contrasts. Training this in ANY language, including your native one, will help your ability to do this in Chinese - so I’d recommend spending a fair amount of time practicing shadowing (or speaking just after somebody whilst listening to a string of text, like monolingual simultaneous interpreting) in your native language too. Any training copying accents or mimicking other people is going to similarly help, regardless of the language.

So, with that in mind, further tips:

1) Hum / try to copy the intonation without any words. What this does is force you to pay attention to what the intonation actually is, versus what you may think it should be.

2) Don’t look at the text! Do! Not! Look! At! The! Text! If you look at the characters or pinyin you’re telling yourself ‘ok this is a third tone here’ etc, but you want to override the part of your brain that has gotten into bad habits and is supremely self-confident in how you’re pronouncing the third tone, and actually just go straight back to mimicking.

3) Don’t be afraid to do it with vocabulary that is way beyond your level. Actually, I find this can sometimes be helpful, because you don’t have a prior idea about how a particular tone pair should be useful - and you don’t know which tone you should be producing.

4) Learn vocabulary by ear - listen to a vocab podcast or even make one yourself (I often do this; I record my daily Anki and listen back to it through headphones copying throughout the day - if you’re not confident in your pronunciation you can get Google Translate to do it). Similarly, pick unknown vocabulary out of a longer segment and remember it, trying to internalise the tones instead of figuring out which tone it is.

5) Find emotional sentences, and copy them with emotion. This is SO CRUCIAL!!! We remember things when we relate to them, and when we imbue them with emotion - and it also helps in hearing exactly how an angry second tone sounds, for instance.

6) When you’re copying, look up, and imagine you are having an actual conversation. Carry yourself with conviction and poise!! Really try to whine like wwx or slime like jgy. After a couple of turns copying them, try to turn off the audio and keep delivering it in the same manner.

7) Swap individual words out. Once you have a line properly figured out, swap a word or two that has a different tone pair, and focus on delivering it with the same pattern of stress.

8) Finally, practice doing this in your native language too!! It’s a skill that we don’t use often, and it can be trained. Some people are terrible at it at first go even in their native language, but you can work on it!

About intonation in general:

1) I think a lot of pronunciation problems with people sounding unnatural or stiff ultimately come down to a fundamental misunderstanding of what intonation looks like across different languages. In English we mark it by pitch: and we are so used to the rhetoric that Chinese has ‘tone’ and not ‘intonation’ that we try and focus on blindly copying every single word textbook perfect without listening to how it actually sounds.

2) Chinese does have intonation!!! Except that, unlike English, when you stress a word, the pitch doesn’t change, but the tone contour is exaggerated - basically the only time you will ever hear a full third tone is in isolated or very exaggerated speech. If you have a Chinese friend, get them to record a sentence like the English ‘I didn’t ask her to steal his rucksack’, and put stress on the different elements of it - I didn’t ask, I didn’t ask, I didn’t ask, and so on. Notice and copy how the tones change. When shadowing, you should always be paying attention to where the stress is in the sentence: when you speak by yourself, practicing saying a sentence neutrally, and then with stress on one component, the next, and so on. If it feels unnatural, it’s because you might not have practicised like this before - it’ll get better!

Hope that’s somewhat helpful / interesting!

- 梅晨曦

#chinese #chinese langblr #langblr #chinese studyblr #studyblr #learn chinese #study chinese #chinese vocab #lingblr #askies

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votederpycausemufins · 3 years ago

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I said I had another chapter ready. so It's time to post that.

tagging @helleborusangel because they like my writing and @hermitcraftheadcanons since they and their community made the au.

now... with that out of the way, let's recap evo... wait shoot i mean hermitcraft.

“Pixlriffs! Turn on the tv!” Came a voice that followed a door being slammed open.

Pixlriffs turned around in confusion to see Zloy having barged in, panting with his goggles askew. “Zloy? What’s going on?”

“Just turn on the recap channel! Hurry!”

Even more confused, Pixl slowly turned to his tv and turned it on, switching to the channel that showed their recap show. “I thought you didn’t like watching our own shows. It’s not even a regular recap, it’s just going to be a clip show from the livestream. Why are you so-” But he cut himself off. Showing on screen was a countdown to the season eight day one recap. “What? But it hasn’t started. We haven’t recorded anything.”

“I know! I was with a friend and they turned it on and said they didn’t think it had started yet. When I saw the countdown, I ran all the way over here.”

“Do you think they just had a scheduling mistake? We might need to call the broadcasters and have them fix things up.” Pixl suggested, and Zloy shrugged.

“Let’s just make sure that’s the case and see which episode they’re actually showing. For all we know they mixed things up and this is just the season seven, day one.”

“I hope that’s the case.”

The two recapers watched the timer go down. Elsewhere, people were also turned into the episode. Some were pleasantly surprised by the supposed new episode. Others were confused thinking the schedule was wrong. Those who knew the hermits were confused, not having heard the new season was starting yet.

Then finally, the timer reached zero, and a familiar jingle started. And then a voice that was definitely not Pixlriffs spoke the phrase “This week, on Hermitcraft.”

“Wait, what am I doing in the nether? I just joined the world.”

Zloy and Pixl looked at each other at something they had never heard Keralis say. This was a new episode, but one they hadn’t made.

“A new adventure starts in season eight, new places and mobs to explore and see. And also Grumbot and Jrumbot are Hermits now. Welcome to the Hermitcraft recap! The show where no one is where they should be. My name is Toon Noah.”

“I’m Mysterious Goofball, and our writer is Pin Valentine. Today, we’re looking at everyone’s first day on the new season of Hermitcraft.”

The first person, Noah, spoke up again. “In this season, the hermits managed to update all the way to the second half of the caves and cliffs update even though that isn’t possible.” He explained what was going on in this season. “Everyone is scattered across the map and even in other dimensions. Monsters are tough, regen is off, and using chat is out of the question, so surviving is going to be tough.”

“At the very least, they can still respawn, so certain people have chances to escape. Escape what that is? Well, let’s look at what the Hermits have been up to.” Goofball said, sounding so nonchalant about what they were about to talk about.

“Starting with Xisuma, who’s started out in the deep dark. The admin’s helmet has been disabled other than necessary functions. His visor also gives him a little bit of light, so he’s not completely blind. Plus the fact that sculks are bioluminescent. But the warden is too, which has been able to find him a number of times.”

“Also in the caves in Jevin,-” Goofball spoke up again. “-who’s found himself in some lush caves. He’s got glowberries for light and food and the axolotls are pretty friendly. Plus, with enough searching, he was able to find a bit of wood for simple tools.”

“Speaking of wood. Some of the hermits have found themselves in the jungle.” Noah quickly commented before some audio from one of the hermits played along with its clip.

“Helloooo? Anyone around? Impulse? Tango? Hey is that Grian? Nope, just a parrot. Ugh, and here I am without any seeds.”

Goofball spoke up again when the audio finished. “Both Zedaph and Tango are in the same jungle, but the size of the biome as well as the amount of foliage means they haven’t found each other yet. Tango at the very least has started mining, and Zedaph managed to find a jungle temple and has already started on using the redstone from there for a melon farm.”

“How do you even make a farm out of that?”

“It’s Zedaph, what do you expect?”

“Well, as for the last of team ZIT, Impulse had found himself in the middle of a sea temple.” Noah spoke, as the video showed Impulse dealing with being underwater in such a place. “Between drowning and guardians, he hasn’t gotten that far away from his spawn.”

“In other aquatic news-” Goofball said, another clip from the hermits playing.

“If I never see coral again, it’ll be too- wait, is that False? False!”

“-Stress and False are also nearby to each other, both spawning in coral reefs. False was the first to escape, needing to just swim out of her spawn.”

“On the other hand, Stress was completely encased in coral and had to slowly chip herself out of the colorful prison. But by the evening, Stress was able to get to the surface and join False and an island, chopping down trees. They even started a wheat farm. But here’s hoping they don’t have to deal with drowned.”

“While she isn’t a drowned,” Goofball continued from Noah’s comment. “Zombie Cleo started out in a village. Normally, that would be pretty good, but being a zombie…”

“Leave me alone! I’m not going ta kill any villagers! I’m a zombie but I’m not that kind of zombie!”

“She’s been having an issue with the resident iron golem. With a bit of luck, she managed to hole herself up in a house which the golem isn’t going to destroy, but the villagers aren’t the happiest about it.”

Then Noah took over speaking. “From villagers to illagers, Mumbo Jumbo found himself alone in a woodland mansion, making himself the furthest hermit in the overworld.”

“Come on. Almost. Almost!” The video showed Mumbo running before he was killed by a vindicator. “Oh come on!”

After that, Noah continued. “He’s tried and failed many times to try and get out of the mansion, but eventually just started breaking the walls for tools.”

“The illagers aren’t really happy about it, but not like he’ll be going far, so I don’t think he’ll easily lose those tools.”

“Well at least he’s got supplies.” The video transitioned to a mountain top with three figures standing at the peak. “Grian, as well as new hermits Grum and Jrum are currently stuck on the top of a mountain, surrounded by powder snow. It’s pretty lucky that the three of them stuck together.”

“I’m not so sure of that.” Goofball spoke up, sounding a bit frustrated or annoyed. “While Grian tried to fly down for supplies to little success, other than fall damage, he hasn’t managed to die, using some sort of magic.”

“But it looks like the fall damage came in handy for Doc, who’s further down the mountain. He’s having a bit of trouble surrounded by goats, plenty of them being the screaming variety.”

Goofball spoke again, no longer sounding as annoyed. “Yeah, but while hanging out with them, he heard a different kind of scream and did something pretty smart.”

“Wait, what was- is someone close by? It sounded like someone just- wait! The death messages!” He pulled out his communicator and read the messages. “Grian died to fall damage! Grian’s up there!”

“I guess he is the scientist of the group.” Noah spoke, the grin he had on his face audible in his voice. “It makes sense he would be the one to figure things out. But even then, he still can’t easily get down the mountain himself with all the goats messing him up. My guess is he’s really regretting being the goat father last season.”

“Doc isn’t the only one getting familiar with the new wildlife though. Hypno has found himself in a large flower forest that has plenty of mooblooms. He hasn’t been able to kill any of them yet, and there’s only flowers and no grass for him to get seeds from, so while the place seems like it should be easy to survive in, it’s really the opposite.”

“The best idea he’s had so far is following some bees to find their nest and hopefully a tree attached to it. If only he knew he was actually really close to spawn, being the closest to it.”

Goofball took control of the conversation again “Well, that’s not entirely true as three hermits managed to appear at spawn, those three being Joe Hills, VintageBeef, and Etho.” And the three hermits were shown in what looked much more normal than everything else that had been shown so far. “The three of them pretty quickly figured out something was wrong and started to make spawn a safe place, also gathering supplies so they can eventually find the other hermits.”

“Except Etho got a bit ahead of himself.” Noah cut in. “He had a bad run in with some mobs and ended up dying, finding out his respawn is a bit different than others. But at the very least, he managed to find Ren.”

“Ren spawned on a cliff of a ravine. There’s no water at the bottom, and all the blocks in reach are stone, so it’s not the easiest to escape from. Still, with little else to do, Ren started slowly chipping away at the stone to escape the ravine, only to fall when Etho surprised him by suddenly respawning there.”

“Okay, I got through two more pieces of stone. At this rate, I can probably get to dirt before the sun is setting so- Etho- ooooooh!”

“At the very least Ren is respawning just fine,” Noah explained “So the two of them were able to help Ren escape the ravine, so he’s the third person to escape his spawn area.”

“Well, that’s not entirely true.” Goofball started to correct. “Before Etho helped Ren and even before Stress escaped her coral prison, Cub actually escaped the mesa mineshaft he spawned in. It was a little tricky with the cave spiders spawning, but he lucked out with the loot of a chest and was able to get a crafting table and pickaxe out of it.” Cub had found some iron, torches, a few seeds, some bread, and then used the wood of the mineshaft to get him on his feet in terms of survival. “With a few respawns, he took out the spiders and their spawner. He’s able to move around freely, but not wanting to respawn again, his hearts are a bit low, so he’s staying near the mineshaft for shelter.”

“Then, sort of nearby the mesa of course, is the desert, where the last two overworld hermits are.” Noah said, and there was the slightest ruffle of papers, like he was checking a script. “Both XB and Iskall are stuck in the same large desert, trying to find some source of food, water and wood. So far, the best they’ve found are the sticks from dead bushes. Out of the two, XB is doing a bit better since he’s found a cave for some sort of shelter, but Iskall’s much worse off,the sand messing with his one eye.”

“Between the heat, the sand, and my eye, I can’t even tell what’s real anymore. That cactus could be a tree or a town or- nope! It’s actually a creeper!”

And then Noah continued with a transition. “Getting even hotter now, let’s look at the nether. There’s only two hermits there right now, with different struggles to deal with.”

“Keralis is the first and lucked out a bit, landing himself in a warped forest right near a basalt delta, meaning he’s got up to stone tools. Plus, since nether gold ore can be mined with wood tools or better, he’s also got some gold boots to help with any piglins.”

“On the other hand, Welsknight is in a much worse situation. He spawned in a crimson forest and is having plenty of trouble with the hoglins.” And that was emphasized by a clip of Wels being killed by one of the mobs. “He hasn’t gotten too much wood before dying, but at the very least, he secured his spawn just enough he has some room to breathe. And hey, if he makes it out of there, he’s got a fortress nearby. But now to end this off, let’s head to the end.”

“TinfoilChef, or TFC is on the main end island, spawning on an obsidian platform just a few blocks from the edge of the island.” Goofball spoke. “It’s close enough for him to jump, but he still takes fall damage and has to deal with the ender dragon after that.”

“Not to mention the endermen too, which Scar is also having trouble with. He’s stuck on a smallish end island out in the further reaches of the end. There’s an end city nearby, but he doesn’t really have the means to get there. At the very least he’s got food from the chorus plants, but that won’t help too terribly much.”

“And lastly, there’s BdoubleO, who we’ve- who’s been lucky to not die so far being in a special situation.” Though they hadn’t been saying much, both Pixlriffs and Zloy noticed the slight slip up Goofball gave. “He’s currently looping in the end void, teleporting up to the top when he finally gets too low. There’s nothing in sight for him to know that though, so he thinks he’s just falling deeper and deeper. But hopefully he’ll figure it out eventually.”

“Well, that’s everyone, so that pretty much does it for this episode of Ev- Hermitcraft Recap. I was Toon Noah-”

“And I was Mysterious Goofball and our writer was Pin Valentine. If you’d like to see original content made by us, you can find us if you already know where to look.”

“Don’t forget to give this show a good rating and tune in next week for the next episode of Hermitcraft Recap. Thank you all so much for watching and good-Bye~!”

Finally, the screen turned black, signalling the end of the episode. The whole time, Pixl and Zloy had just sat there in shock, watching the episode and not saying anything. The thought of their show being taken over by some new people was scary enough, but the situations the Hermits were now in was so much worse.

Zloy was the first to move, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He had felt it going off during the episode, but had been too stunned to do anything. Apparently, he had missed multiple calls and texts about what had happened with the episode, who had been put in charge, what was with the hermits, and more related to the whole situation.

“We need to see someone about this.” Pixlriffs said, in a similar situation with looking at his phone. “Make sure people know we have no connection to this and hopefully also see if the studio knows who recorded this. I would also like to say that this is all fake, but…”

“Yeah, that footage looked way too real. I think the Hermits are actually in a lot of trouble right now.”

“Then let’s do something about it.”

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winchest09 · 4 years ago

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The Bunker Party - January Debrief

Hey my darlings!

So, The Bunker Party was back with a bang for the first month of 2021 and it was so nice to see so many wonderful and beautiful faces, new and old, on the stream. I have so much stuff to share with you, my fingers will ache once I’ve finished typing it all.

The stream was just amazing. It was filled with fun, laughter, and so many of you sharing your love for all things Supernatural. Seriously, SPN does have THEE best fandom and I’m so glad to be a part of it.

6 hours we were hanging out for! To see so many beautiful faces, hear so many lovely voices and to spend time with all you guys was just a dream! The support from everyone for each other, the love in this fandom; I can’t express how much I adore it.

I love holding these events and as I mentioned last night, the next one will be in February (date to be announced) and I’m already looking forward to seeing so you all again.

So…to the debrief!

Below you will find:

Everyone who joined - their tags, what’s coming up fic wise and their masterlist.

Announcements, News and links to Patreons and Etsy shops!

Challenges to join - we have SIX!

Blogs who want to help with your writing

Graphics and Icons

Fic & blog recs

You are the guys that make it the live stream what it is, and we can never thank you enough. So below is a list of everyone who was on the chat yesterday accompanied by their masterlist and a little blurb of what they have coming up soon! For your reading pleasure and in no particular order…

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@waywardbeanie: Shelli has come so far in the matter of a few months. From being a reader to now a series writer! She has one series under her belt already and is well on her way with her second on, Life on Tour. She is ALSO planning her third, which we may have had a sneak peak too last night and I am BEYOND excited.

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@deanwanddamons: Sian has come so far in a year! She has several series on the go, so many oneshots and I already know her plans for her next series. There are more plans for The Show Must Go On, Mechanic and Mistletoe and others. OH, I am excited!

Her masterlist can be found HERE

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@jensengirl83: Brandy is such a sweetheart and we adore her. She’s still under the year mark for writing but that doesn’t stop her from nailing it. With one series completed, a ton of oneshots under her belt, she’s now working on her second series and is smashing it.

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@whatareyousearchingfordean: Alex is nailing it at the moment with her fictions. She’s currently posting Happiness Continued (the sequel to Happiness Begins) which is nearing it’s end *sobs* BUT we were spoiled to some spoilers and information about what’s coming next. Ohhhh we have two more series on the way and they are juicy! Head over to her blog to find out one of them, she’s announced it already ;)

Her masterlist can be found HERE

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@superfanficnatural: Mert has took some time away from the writing world but nothing could keep him from showing his fantastic self on our livestream. He’s has finally gotten back into his writing thanks to much encouragement ;) and is chipping away at the next add for his series The Choice. We’re super proud of him.

He has some other series in the works, a couple of collaborations that he’s got under his belt too…

Go and give him some love, his masterlist can be found HERE

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@soaringeag1e: We adore Meg and she is a regular on our stream. She has such an extensive list of SPN fanfiction that it’s a treat for your eyeballs!

She is currently working on her series Escape and we have been treated to hearing about some of her new series that she has coming out very soon! Fake Dating anyone? YES PLEASE. Head over and get yourself signed up if you’re not already!

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@thinkinghardhardlythinking: Saira is absolutely nailing it when it’s coming to writing at the moment and her words are out of this world. She’s recently been sucked into the Royal AU and is writing a Knight!Sam x Reader fic and it is TO DIE FOR.

She’s such a sweetheart. Please show her some love and support <3 You can find her masterlist HERE

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@janicho88: This lovely lady is working on some absolute winners at the minute. “Falling for You” and “Fire, Fur and Mistletoe” to name just a couple! She is one of the kindest and supportive souls that you will ever meet. Definitely one to check out and read!

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@downanddirtydean: Lydia was new to our stream and I cannot say how much I enjoyed having this beaut on there. She is working on some AMAZING pieces at the moment. Holidate being one of them! Fake Dating anyone? UHH YEAH! She also has over 30 smutty oneshots... You can find her masterlist HERE

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@carryonmywaywardcaptain: Jordan was another new face to our stream last night and it was so nice getting to know her. She told all about what she is currently working on. “Miles of Memories” is a best friend to lover AU which sounds absolutely incredible. If you’re not checking her out already, what are you waiting for?

You can find her her masterlist HERE

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@sams-sass: Chelsea was new to our stream and the award for the first Sam girl to grace our screen has been awarded. She is an absolute sweetheart and with what we heard about her works, her idea and what she’s got coming up...I AM SOLD. She has told us that she is currently working on “Secrets in the Snow” and we are EXCITED.

She is a creative genius and I’m living for it.

You can find her masterlist HERE

@flamencodiva: Vanessa is still in the process of reposting everything she had lost back onto her blog and she is slowly but surely, getting up to date. We have been told what is coming up, more “What He Lost, What He Found” as well as “The Hunters Encyclopaedia”. She is also working on some wonderful new series’ behind the scenes and we may have been teased to a collab that will be coming your way soon!

Check out her masterlist HERE

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@that-one-gay-girl: Sydney is such a kind soul and an absolute beaut, and we were so happy to see her on our stream. Even though she is a fairly new writer, that hasn’t stopped her from bashing out some fabulous pieces of fiction! She has a completed series under her belt and is currently working on the next chapter of “Oh, Baby” as well as “A Hero’s Journey”

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@deangirl93: Our first Aussie that has graced our stream and what an abolute babe she is. For a new writer, she has come so far in the matter of months. She has her first completed series “Life Lessons” under her belt as well as some phenomenal oneshots. We’ve also been told about her works that are coming up... Demon!Dean or Dean Smith anyone? ;)

You can find her masterlist HERE

@anathewierdo: Ana is such a darling and we always love having her on the streams. She’s currently reposting her fic Call of the Ocean which is a collaboration with Flamencodiva. Not only that, she’s also working on a Princess Diaries AU, a Serial Killer AU and many more!

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@emoryhemsworth: This beaut has had a couple of busy months but she is currently working on her series called “Losing Sleep” as well as plotting her amazing TWD crossover fic which we cannot wait for!

Check our her masterlist HERE:

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@anaelsbrunette: We loved having Yas on our stream and she told us all about the juicyness that she’s got coming our way. She is concentrating on darker stuff at the moment but we have also been told that she has a Mafia AU that will soon grace our screens...keep your eyes peeled!

Check it out and give her some love.

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@impalawrites: Pala joined our stream for a while and it was lovely to hear her voice and for her tell us what’s going on in her writing life. She has recently changed her blog name (she was impala-1979) and now she is focusing on not just supernatural but many other fandoms too!

She has many, many more goodies on offer and is doing wonderfully!

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@defenderrosetyler: Ali came back to our stream and we loved having her. She currently has a couple of oneshots available on her masterlist for both Sam and Dean! She is definitely one to keep an eye out for! She’s a total sweetheart too!

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@wonder-cole: Such a sweetheart and a wonderful person. New to the stream this time and we loved having her. She told us all about her amazing ideas and what she is writing at the moment. In the works there is going to be a Son’s of Anarchy crossover, Michael!Dean and a male reader fic AND a Bi!Reader and Charlie fic.

*squee* We are excited.

You can find her masterlist HERE

@katelynw93: Kate is a new writer to the supernatural fandom but she is doing so so well! She has a bunch of stuff for both Sam and Dean and her writing is just AMAZING. She is definitely one to go and check out!

You can find her masterlist HERE

@chocolateheart: Marcie is a little ray of sunshine and her writing always gets me hooked. She has no series as of yet but I have heard of what she is cooking up and I am excited! She has some fabulous fluffy and sexy oneshots though that you should definitely check out!

You can find her masterlist HERE

@anotherspnfanfic: Another wonderful new face to our stream this time around and were so happy that she joined us! Again, this wonderful writer has an amazing list of oneshots but no series as of yet. She is definitely one to be checking out!

You can find her masterlist HERE

@440mxs-wife: Another new beautiful face to our stream! It was so nice to have her join us and we have found another little hidden treasure trove of fictions! Her masterlist covers more than just Sam and Dean, we have fics for Cas, Gabriel and Ketch too!

You can find her masterlist HERE

Me: Well, Life for Rent is completed! My new series “Hello, Sailor” is in progress and I’m about to finish my mini series “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”. I have also just posted a smut filled oneshot called “Do Not Disturb” and I have plans for many more stories! Seriously...my idea doc is screaming at me! Ahah.

My masterlist can be found HERE:

HONORARY MENTIONS

Now, these guys are regulars to our livestreams and/or do a hell of a lot to support other people within the supernatural fandom. So it’s only fair that we give them a shout out and to share the love with them too!

In no particular order:

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@smol-and-grumpy: Nat has such a juicy masterlist and can I just mention that since our last livestream, she has completed quite a few other series and is now posting two new ones! A personal fav of mine is “Legally Yours” IT IS CERTIFIED GOLD.

You can find her masterlist HERE

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@talesmaniac89: Our darling Tales is taking a hiatus at the moment but her blog is still worth checking out. She has some amazing series and such a long list of fics under her belt as well as SO MANY GRAPHICS. She’s an absolute sweetheart and I adore her greatly.

Check her out guys, her masterlist is HERE

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@katehuntington: Kate is also taking a hiatus at the moment but again, it’s a blog definitely worth checking out. Her writing is exquisite and the imagery she paints is just wonderful. Ride with Me anyone? She also has an OFC Fic too!

Her masterlist can be found HERE

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@atc74: Ang is such a wonderful supporter to new and old writers alike on tumblr. I am always seeing her reblogging peoples stories and offereing words of kindness and positivity. Not only that, she has a wonderful masterlist of her own fabulous creations too!

Her masterlist can be found HERE

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To the upcoming writers & readers…

@abuavnee, @winchesterxfamilybusiness, @adoptdontshoppets, @zooaliaa, @carolinabeauty6298, @akshi8278 & the few nonnies we had!

Sabrina: We know that you’ve dabbled with some writing already but if you need us for anything, idea bouncing or anything, just hit us up, you know where we are <3

Abu: Girl, your first of writing blew me away with how poetic it was and it was so nice to put a face to a name yesterday. If you ever need help with writing, give us a message!

Karen: Your support to all of us writers is just phenomenal and I cannot thank you enough for taking the time to leave such wonderful comments. We appreciate you so much <3

Zoe: Even though you’re not a new writer, you’re new to tumblr and we were so intrigued about the fic idea you already have posting to wattpad right now. Welcome to the family babe!

MJ: Again, your support to all of us writers is just the best. Thank you for taking the time to read through our stuff, it means the absolute world.

Akshita: Another fabulous reader who offers wonderful support to all of us writers. Thank you so much for all of your comments and your kind words.

We want to thank all of you for your constant support, your feedback, your words, your reactions to what we write. Your likes, your reblogs, your asks. We appreciate every single thing you do. So thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We love you. Also, remember guys - we’re all here to love and support you! My inbox is always open if you want to talk about anything and everything. Even if you wish to start writing…give any of us a shout. We’re here to help! Thank you for joining the chat and we hope you had an amazing time <3 Please spread the love and show your support to all of these amazing people, go follow and give them some love!

We’ve got some goodies for you!

We want to bring to everyone’s attention once again, the wonderful organisation that is Ficfasers, an international fundraising group of authors and artists who love Supernatural. They offer thank yous to people who agree to donate to Random Acts by creating stories/art, crafts, and more for winning bidders and ticket buyers!

Again, this is amazing and it’s something that so many of us can get involved in. We’ve been told an event is coming up around the holiday period so watch this space!

Want to write for Charity?

Check out their tumblr HERE

and their website HERE

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Follower achievements!

Join me in congratulating these amazing blogs as they have surpassed or are close to a follower milestone!

@waywardbeanie is closing in on 600 followers! @downanddirtydean has passed 500 followers!

@superfanficnatural is closing in on 900 followers! @jensengirl83 is closing in on 900 followers! @deangirl93 is closing in on 500 followers!

Congratulations guys!

If you’re not following them already, head on over and show them your support!

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Want to be the first to read new chapters of your favourite fics?

Some of our fabulous livestream participants have Patreon!

For a small fee a month, you get personalised drabbles, oneshots and MORE as well as first dibs on new chapters before ANYONE else! Please consider giving them your support.

The links for each authors Patreon is below: @cockslut-padalecki - Find hers HERE

@flamencodiva - Find hers HERE

@soaringeag1e - Find hers HERE

@impalawrites - Find hers HERE

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Want to support new creators and get your hands on some SPN Merch?

We have two etsy shops to share with you! Both of them make some amazing things and are definitely worth checking out if you’re wanting to treat yourself.

@downanddirtydean has a wonderful little shop full of supernatural goodies like scrunchies and stickers! You can check it out HERE & @that-one-gay-girl has a little shop where she offers custom portraits and I have been told that some Spn goodies are on the way too! Check it out HERE

Oh, IT’S CHALLENGE TIME. This month, we have SIX challenges for you to get involved in!

First of all, we still have @janicho88 100 follower Christmas themed challenge! It ends on the 31st January but there are still spots left!

Check it out, HERE

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Secondly, we have @wonder-cole‘s 100 follower celebration too! This challenge is pretty unique as she has taken the things her 11 year old has said for the prompts!

You can check it out, HERE

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Thirdly, we @deanwanddamons 2K follower and 1 Year blogiversary challenge! She’s taken some inspiration from the movies and come up with some quotes, the challenge is open until the 1st February!

Check it out, HERE

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Fourthly, we have @downanddirtydean‘s 500 follower celebration! She has come up with a list of 50 prompts to tickle your pickle and to make it juicer, she’s added in a giveaway of prizes that she makes herself!

Take a look and enter the challenge, HERE

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Fifthly, we have @carryonmywaywardcaptain‘s Supernaturally Marvelous challenge! This challenge has a list of songs, AU’s, Dialogue prompts and more to choose from!

Check it out, HERE

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And last, but certainly not least, we have @flamencodiva‘s Writing Challenge which she holds every few months to help when you get that dreaded writers block. Who knows, maybe her prompt will spark a wave of inspiration!

Check it out, HERE

Need a graphic? Header, banner, divider?

Our gorgeous @talesmaniac89 is available to create whatever you would like! She’s the creator behind our banners for this post and numerous other masterlist across the board. Give her a message!

Struggling with some smut?

@superfanficnatural has offered his services to be the person you can go to if you need to hash out certain words, feelings and perspective. He is the perfect person to give you an insight to the male POV when it comes to sex so if you’re writing Destiel or a chapter from the guys POV, Mert is there to help!

Need help finding that one gif?

@emoryhemsworth is your go to girl! Seriously, you tell her you want a gif of Dean in a specific place, wearing a certain outfit, she will find it for you in no time at all. She’s a diamond as she’ll also credit the creators!

Struggling to find that one word? Or even a title?

@atc74 is your guru! She is perfect for getting you unstuck and if you’re struggling with a title, she can also help on this front! I always struggle with a title, and a summary so I know i’ll definitely be hitting Ang up if i get stuck!

Lost a fic? Need help to find it again?

@spnfic-search-blog is the blog to go too! Send an ask and they will dedicate their time to try and find it for you!

Need a new aesthetic? Line divider? We got you! Our fabulously talented @talesmaniac89 has drawn up so MANY supernatural themed line breakers, headers and more for your free usage!

Just look at some of these!

She has a few posts full already!

We’re talking dividers, headers, banners, gifs and icons!

Check them out HERE!

Give them a like, a reblog and please THANK HER if you use her work. She’s the most kind hearted, loving soul and a few words go a long way <3

Blog Recs!

@smol-and-grumpy - Nat is such a kind soul, always wanting to make others smile, others wanting to go the extra mile for her followers. She holds giveaways just as a thank you for reading her work and above all else, her writing is just out of this world. She deserves so much love and credit for what she does.

@crashdevlin - I don’t think a livestream has gone by where this lady’s fics have NOT been recommended. Whenever Crash’s name is brought up on stream, so many people love her work and freak out and it’s so lovely to see. So here’s to you Crash! Well done <3

Fic Recs!

True Loves Kiss

@carryonmywaywardbucky

Pairing: Non Yet, eventual Sam Winchester x Reader

Summary: When word of a cursed prince reached your kingdom, your king knew exactly who to send to try and wake him up. The king treated you like the daughter he never had, so question never crossed his mind when he gave you what he hoped would be your final mission.

—

My Brother’s Girl By @cockslut-padalecki

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader, Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: When Dean returns from Purgatory, he hopes to be reunited with his long term girlfriend Y/N and Sam after five long years without them. But when he shows up at Sam’s door unable to locate her, Dean realises he doesn’t need to look much farther to find her.

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All The Good Girls Go To Hell By @cockslut-padalecki

Pairing: Step Dad!Sam x Step Daughter!Reader, Uncle!Dean x Niece!Reader

Summary: When Sam marries into Y/N’s family he naively believes she’s a little princess incapable of putting a step wrong. But once he comes face to face with evidence that proves she’s far from angelic which also implicates his own brother in her misdeeds, Sam finds himself battling against his own moral judgement.

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Corrupted By @cockslut-padalecki

Pairing: Lawyer!Sam x Reader.

Summary: When Sam inadvertently chooses to work instead of spend time with Y/N, she decides on a little revenge to show him what he’s missing… however she massively underestimates Sam and his power to put her in her place.

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Crimson Leaves By @waywardrose13

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: The dead have risen. Amid a global pandemic that causes the dead to prowl the Earth, a leader of a small camp in North Carolina fights for survival. Y/n Y/l/n was certain of three things: One, only a bite would turn you. Two, the brain must be destroyed in order to completely kill the thing. Three, trust no one. When a stranger is brought to her camp half alive, Y/n must make the decision to throw him to the walkers, or let the mystery man heal within the gates. As Dean Winchester recovers from a zombie attack, he worms his way into the camp, and eventually into Y/n’s heart. Love is a dangerous game, especially when it’s played with the dead.

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Flashes By @our-jensen-ackles-love

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Summary: Playboy Jensen Ackles is hurting his television show’s image. Every time he promised to get his act together, it’d last for about a week before pictures emerge of him half-drunk with some broad on his arm. Fed up and desperate, his agent decides their only hope to save some face is to write up a contract with a nobody girl who could use the money while getting to play the role of Jensen’s girlfriend. It was only for a year and it was only for the photos. But feelings don’t always follow the rules, do they?

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Icarus By @savior-adriana

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Demon!Reader

Summary: She was a succubus – a sex demon, held captive by the Winchesters and despite Sam’s desperate attempts to stop his brother from giving in, Dean loses the battle against his need for her.

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Frozen By @watermelonlipstick

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader

Summary: Sam and the reader get stranded on the highway during a snowstorm.

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Dean’s Jeans By @watermelonlipstick

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: A late summer afternoon on your cul-de-sac with Dean, Sam, your daughters, and their cousin DJ.

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Till Death Do Us Part? By @amanda-teaches

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: At a work party with your best friend, Dean, you panic when your new boss asks if you’re couple. Lying to protect your promotion, you wind up fake engaged before you can take it back. When Dean agrees to go along with your lie for a weekend retreat, you end up finding something neither of you had bargained for: love.

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Broken By @atwistoffate

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: The man you love is about to marry someone else. This is how the worst day of your life begins.

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Blue or Red By @atwistoffate

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Can two people who broke up be friends again? Just friends?

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It Was You By @jerkbitchidjitassbutt

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Female Reader

Summary: Jensen and Y/n are childhood best friends. When his agent informs him that his image could use some improvement for a role, will she help him? Or will her feelings get in the way?

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Not Losing You By @luci-in-trenchcoats

Pairing: Mechanic!Dean Winchester x reader

Summary: The reader is pulled over on the side of the road when a man suddenly appears and proceeds to collapse in front of her. Little does she know, that may be a good thing for them both…

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By My Side By @luci-in-trenchcoats

Pairing: Bodyguard!Jensen Ackles x Reader

Summary: While at home one night, the reader, an actress, is almost kidnapped and at her friend’s suggestion she hires Jensen as her bodyguard. After a rocky start, the pair begin to get along and tensions ease when they think the threat against her has subsided. But as things at home get better, the reader’s family comes to town and all Hell breaks loose…

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With All My Heart By @torn-and-frayed

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Summary: N/A

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Protector By @fictionalabyss

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: N/A

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La Petite Mort By @percywinchester27

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader AU

Summary: The reader has just shifted to a new flat and boy, someone on the floor has a really banging sex life! The passionate moans have been keeping her up for several nights in row and enough is enough! Reader has her suspicions, but is it really the green-eyed hottie from room no. 307?

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You’re Home By @acreativelydifferentlove

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader

Summary: After years away at college, you have finally returned to your home town. In order to settle back into the community, you have to seek permission from the Head Alpha. What happens when you see his son for the first time since presenting as an Omega?

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A Gentleman’s Agreement By @stusbunker

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Benny LaFitte

Summary: N/A

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Stolen Crown By @roonyxx & @jay-and-dean

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader / Knight!Dean x reader

Summary: What happens when she is sent in a world that isn’t hers, but with very familiar faces ?

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Ablaze By @ellewritesfix05

Pairing: Firefighter!Dean x Doctor!Reader

Summary: Y/N Y/L/N’s life is simple — work, books, and saving lives. But when a handsome firefighter comes to her hospital in need of care, her life gets turned upside down as she quickly falls for the green-eyed hero. Will being with him prove to be what was missing from her life?

—

No Forgetting You By @ellewritesfix05

Pairing: MOC!/Demon!Dean x Reader

Summary: Being Dean Winchester’s girlfriend is no easy task. Through thick and thin, (Y/N) remained fighting monsters by his side. But what will happen when Dean becomes one of those monsters? In this story, the Reader is faced with difficult situations and decisions that will turn her once-perfect life upside down.

—

Mess is Mine By @supernaturalfreewill

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader

Summary: Fic based on ‘Mess Is Mine’ by Vance Joy originally requested by anonymous! You might not want to read this when you’re home alone or sitting in the dark. Just FYI. It’s kinda creepy

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White Picket Fence By @negans-lucille-tblr

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean finally gets his American dream life. A perfect wife, big house and the perfectly obnoxious neighbors beyond a white picket fence. But what goes on behind closed doors is far from suburban.

—

Other Fandom Recs!

Sunrise By @wkemeup

Pairing: bucky x reader (veteran!bucky x librarian!reader)

Summary: After an explosion takes his arm and his only sense of belonging, Bucky is discharged from active duty and sent back to civilian life. Left with a storm of unchecked guilt, Bucky is content to live out the rest of his days in the hollow comfort of the dark. This is, until Sam drags him down to the local VA and he meets you. (Modern AU)

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I think that’s it!

Phew! I hope you all enjoy this recap! Thank you so much once again to everyone who joined the chat, we had 6 hours of laughs and I cannot wait to do it again. I’d appreciate it if you could share this to spread the love of the fics and authors on here!

Keep an eye out for the next date for our next livestream! It will be in February. If you guys have any idea’s or want something included, let us know. If you want to be tagged when we announce, let us know!

See you next time!

xox

#the bunker party #dean winchester fanfiction #sam winchester fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural family #dean winchester x reader #sam winchester x reader #rec post #share the love #spread the positivity #thebunkerparty #love you guys #winchest09

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