#I’m going mental over this

[nufc-carraville]

I beg your pardon?

[honeypleasejustkillme]

[elodieunderglass]

Do you have more Moby Dick: Modern Translation chapters anywhere that certain interested parties (me and everyone with taste) could read?

In reference to this translation of Moby Dick into insufferable modern idiom, in which Ishmael is suddenly shown up in a startling light as a person we’ve actually met and knew well but didn’t really like:

I’m sorry, I haven’t written any more of that! After chapter 1’s mad rush of energy, the book tackles more tricky, boring and unfunny content, including passages that are just uncomfortably problematic in any time; and, like, entire chapters about listening to a church sermon.

A line translation (and that is mostly a very faithful line translation! The only thing I regret not doing was perfectly capturing the fart joke!) apparently has a lot of educational value, and helps to reframe the whole novel. That’s worthy work! But i simply wouldn’t want to do a line translation on the next few chapters. My brain is picking daisies instead, already. I would say: “sorry, I’m abridging this for my own mental health. You’re eligible for a free refund.” In which case the educational value is negligible (you can just read the plot summary online. There’s a really big whale in it.)

Anyone else who wants to take a stab at it (FROM HELL’S HEART) would be welcome and I’ll gladly promote your efforts. It’s just. I am going

🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼

- come here let me measure your head

[wigglebox]

Suptober - Day 1 || Liminal [x]

[vivsicx]

Happy Birthday Ayn! (★ᴗ★)

I can’t stop thinking about his cn bday sr help

[exhaustedpigeonn]

Unironically thanking Mouthwashing for getting me out of an art block and helping me gain back the energy to draw in INSANE

Like- who would’ve thought that a psychological horror game would get to me and inspire me in such a way that only comes every few years???

Thanks stinkies

Plus I’m still getting used to tumblr, I’ve decided to quit stinky Twitter and come over here and honestly I feel so much better

I need to become insane again and work on my projects, I have so many planned now

Ehehe

[angelnumber27]

you are literally faking all of your “problems” for attention. I have bpd, past severe subst abuse problems, suicidal treatment resistant depression, abuse history and I’m not on here all ditzy posting kittens and tits, in fact my shit on here is disgusting and scary. No one with severe problems has a lil flower blog, just lying and begging 4 money making us REAL troubled ppl look fake as u are

So because I post images of kittens and tits I don’t have the mental illnesses I’ve been diagnosed with? Where’s the logic like this is the most absurd stupid thing I’ve heard in a while and it’s actually incredibly harmful to think like this.

I think maybe you should not be on this website or the internet at all if this is how you’re going to act

I hope you feel better bc this is not how you treat people 🖤 and this entire take in general is very very dumb

Here’s screenshots of my ongoing health conditions :) I cropped out a couple bc I felt like it lol

I’m sorry that I don’t solely post depressing negative shit. I don’t see a reason to do that. My goal here is to lift people up not tear them down. This makes absolutely no sense whatsoever

You need help babe. Badly

[sleepy-spaceman]

As wonderfully tragic as it would be for simon and bob to have been the two people who died in the accident that happened before he worked for goddard futuristics, im on the side that jacobi is midland after the events of wolf 359, because that man deserves to have at least two friends that aren’t dead.

[marimbles]

someone over the age of 30 tell me it’s gonna be ok

[biasomnia]

Ignore me if I am getting stuff wrong but I’ve recently begun to think of Viktor’s journey throughout Arcane in the context of the classic gothic sci-fi novel Frankenstein (I specify novel due to not watching any of the movies). It’s fascinating how Viktor is both the creature (“Adam”) and, uhm, Victor Frankenstein himself.

~Essay below the cut for your scrolling ease~

Firstly, it’s clear in season 1 how Viktor = Victor. Both are bright eyed students yearning for knowledge and to make change with professors warning them to not get lost within the ideals to the post they lose their morals. Unlike Victor Frankenstein, Viktor sees the horrors of the Hexcore only after it as killed, yet like the tale of yore he has no strength to beat his creature alone. So Viktor asks Jayce for help.

Now, Jayce is our Frankenstein. Another bright eyed inventor, doomed to create. He brings the dead to life with an unexplained science. Yet unlike Victor, Jayce sees his resuscitated creature with awe at first when it awakens. All his theories are true. Yet it, Viktor, languishes. An unnatural life, an unnatural body, fused with his creature into something new. Like the creature, he flees, desperate to find out who he, who it is.

I would consider Viktor in act 2 of season 2 a continuation of him as the creature, if the creature was seen as a messenger of god. As the creature once said, “.. I ought to be thy Adam, but I am rather the fallen angel..” (Chapter 10). Viktor is if the creature were truly allowed to be Adam, to be the first of the new mankind. The next step of Evolution. One could argue he still represent Victor within his scientific pursuits, but I’d retort the creature has as much of a smart mind as his creator, willing to push himself.

Sadly for Viktor, Jayce has no awe left. He has fully embraced being Frankenstein, seeing his choice after the bombing as an inhumane mistake. Jayce declares his goal: to right his wrongs. Unlike both Viktor and Victor, Jayce has the strength to do so. He brings himself infront of his creature. Something made with his friend’s body, wearing his friend’s face, his friend’s memories recognizing Jayce and feeling safe. So Jayce must tighten his grip on the hammer kill it.

When act 3 begins, Viktor is now an amalgamation of both the creature and Frankenstein. He is something new and feared, something that wants and begs for its creator’s love and acknowledgement. He is someone exploring a new field, seeking praise as he delves into waters too deep for people to handle, not noticing the air leaving his lungs as he drowns in the knowledge around him. He creates many a creature, each a cherished doll.

I’d say that Jayce is also a similar amalgamation, something touched and formed by something, someone, higher than him. Someone else’s creature, a horrid reminder of everything that world lost nestled within his hands. He is still Frankenstein, as seen with “My partner died in this room.” (S2, Act III). I think there is more to be said on Jayce’s journey in the context of Frankenstein but it’s 1am and I could make a more official essay later. I felt it important to include this short paragraph, however, before we delve into our conclusion.

The two finally stand face to face once more, the lines are blurred on who is the creature and the creator, but that does not matter now. No matter which of the two they are, they want the other dead. So they fight and the lines blur further and further till the two have to look at eachother, at their human faces in the cosmic plane. The line is gone. Both Viktor and Jayce are the creators of Hextech, the new science that was a piece of ever tragedy. Both are creatures made by Hextech, unable to live without it. So like Victor and the creature, Jayce and Viktor realize they have no place left in the world. So they leave it, letting the world distort and contort their story as time passes by.

[quibbs126]

Finally done (I think)

I was inspired to make this by the leaves finally changing color over here on my campus, as well as Guts’ theme being what I was listening to when thinking about the leaves. Specifically about how the leaves turn from yellow to red, and how that reminded me of D-16’s change in eye color, and it all culminated in this

I’ve got a couple pictures of some of the leaves on the tree outside my dorm, which I took as inspiration (and also to double check that the colors can be seen changing on a singular leaf and it wasn’t just multiple leaves making me think it was a gradient)

Ignore that Transformers One Optimus is on Earth when they aren’t supposed to be there yet, the basis of this whole thing was the leaves changing color, so he has to be there. Suspend your disbelief, maybe it’s in the future or something

You know, this post felt a lot more put together on Monday/Tuesday when I was still starting it and I hadn’t already spoiled parts of the post. *sigh* oh well

But yeah, I was really proud of how the sketch came out (which I posted previously), but then I didn’t know what to do afterwards. But I didn’t want to just overlay the sketch with some lineart, so it all sort of culminated in this

I know my anatomy’s still off on Optimus. I still can’t fully figure out how to draw these guys and it frustrates me so much, especially when I see other people that can and can draw silly sketches of them. Teach me your power, please

I also don’t know how to draw a forest or forest floor. I’m bad at backgrounds. I meant to put in shading from other trees on top of it all, but I couldn’t figure out how to make sense of the shading, so it isn’t there. I just don’t know how to draw it

I really don’t think this turned out as good as it could have. If I were better at drawing Transformers or better at drawing backgrounds or better at drawing in general, this could probably look really good. But I’m not, so I guess this is the best version of my vision I can show you

Okay, it’s not that I hate it, I’m glad it turned out somewhat nice looking. But it’s not what I wanted in my brain, and it just isn’t the best it could be

Sorry, I’m being mopey. Just accept this, and I hope you like it. And hopefully understand my vision, if any of what I said makes sense

[fantasticgothicpeachsludge]

Fuck Jayvik and they’re stupid beautiful fucking butterfly that haunts them making me think about a life is strange au like it’s 2015 again

[angelstitss]

and on this episode of analyzing and yapping about vox’s every move…

VOX IS SO FUCKING JEALOUS OF ANGEL I CANT STAND THIS PATHETIC LOSER ANYMORE (i love him)

vox puts up a front to make himself look charming, but underneath that is an insecure, obsessive, controlling man. he’s obsessed with things that can and have hurt him (alastor, valentino) and even though he has cameras everywhere and can no doubt see how abusive valentino is, he’s fixated on the fact that he isn’t the main subject of valentino’s attention, and he wants to be.

he’s even overjoyed in the brief moment that he thought that angel had quit, his face lighting up hopefully as he asks the question and getting upset/frustrated when valentino cares more about going to get angel than vox telling him not to. now, i’m not saying that this is the ONLY reason vox sounded happy when asking if angel had quit because vox is also likely just sick and tired of hearing valentino yapping about angel 24/7 (if u look back, he does it in nearly every single scene he’s in. imagine years of living with him.) but he’s DESPERATE to be valentino’s favorite, and he’s unhealthily obsessed with the idea of it. same with alastor and the way he’s obsessed with him to the point of literally being turned on at the sight of him hurt.

finally, at the end of poison, the second vox sees angel on the balcony, he makes a face, looks at val, and immediately dips. if that first look was not the face of jealousy, i don’t know what is.

in conclusion he’s so fucking jealous i just cannot do this anymore guys I CANT THIS LOSER NEEDS MENTAL ASSISTANCE 😐🫵

if there’s anything else any of u all noticed please tell me because the brainrot is so bad

(u guys better enjoy this post because i spent an hour yapping and finding clips for this)

[marnz]

I find historians’ obsession with trying to figure out what medical malady King Henry VIII had that made him act like that really strange to be honest with you. This is the guy that broke from the Catholic Church and declared himself head of a brand new church, all so he could invent divorce. He rewrote history to insist he had never actually truly been married to Catherine of Aragon. He killed people and faced no consequences. As King he was surrounded by a bunch of yes men who didn’t just ‘let’ him kill his wives and ppl who displeased him, they actively manufactured ways for him to do so. Is it really so strange that he continued to act in this way? Must we resort to medical explanations for this behavior?

I do wonder if this is an attempt to rationalize and explain despicable behavior, but the truth is we can rationalize and explain anything. That is our gift as human beings! As Frank Bidart said, man is a moral animal / You can get human beings to do anything — IF you convince them it is moral / You can convince human beings anything is moral. Anyone who does a despicable act likely, but not always, does it because they find it correct, even necessary. I find the idea that Henry did all of this to get a son and maintain his grip on power and ensure a peaceful succession much more understandable and likely than people theorizing he had x disease that made him so nuts he started killing his wives indiscriminately.

[inkbagel]

Still thinking about how nyas worst fear was Jay forgetting her but she knew that would never happen but Jay has amnesia……..

It could be foreshadowing to angst or it could be foreshadowing to Nya being the one to make Jay remember. choose your fighter

[escapismblue]

literally blame @neometalsilver for this but here’s how fucking unwell I am about Sonic being Tails’ parental unit.

context: this is using my own timeline of the games/headcanons so yeah. if shit doesn’t register as canon refer to that.

ANYWAY-

Sonic just found a kid when he was 11 while living in the woods and took him in because what was he supposed to do? he’s not a social person, he doesn’t know how to keep friends, but that’s a kid. a scared kid that needs someone to look after him. he doesn’t think he’ll do a great job, but he has to at least provide the kid food and safety. at least until he can figure out what’s best for the kid.

he’s lucky Tails is a genius and can already read and write because he can’t talk. he doesn’t want to. the sound reverberates in his head and makes him sick he can’t talk. Tails is okay with that though. he reads whatever Sonic hastily writes on paper and he learns sign language faster than Sonic had.

food’s already tight. it’s hard to scavenge and Sonic can only steal so much food without locking himself out of every town or village on the islands. he’s already malnourished as hell himself and now he has to find more food.

Sonic eats even less. he has to. Tails is 4, Sonic is 11. he can deal with less food. Tails is growing and even though Sonic can’t run as much because he’s so tired. his metabolism eats through whatever food he manages to eat for himself. his body hides it though. he looks fine and Tails is looking better and the kid is okay and that’s. enough.

Mighty and Ray meet up with Sonic again and Mighty sees Tails and He Knows. because that’s what he did. Sonic doesn’t know what to do when Mighty gives him a look that’s knowing because he doesn’t know what he’s doing and he sure as hell didn’t know he and Mighty were still friends because he doesn’t know what friendships even are.

Sonic doesn’t understand people. he never has. he doesn’t trust people all that much. he can work with people when necessary but that’s… that’s all. people are scary and cruel but god there’s this kid that’s looking up to Sonic and maybe. maybe he should try and believe the world is good because he wants things to be good for his kid.

his kid?

the kid. he’s taking care of Tails but he’s not…

he “borrows” books from the library to read them. to teach himself about the world he’s bared himself from. he reads all the lessons kids are taught. he learns how the world works and then teaches Tails and sure he could just give the kid the books because god the kid is smart but he needs Tails to believe that he is capable.

Sonic needs to prove to Tails that he is reliable. that he’s gonna be there and get them out of whatever they get into. or whatever Robotnik forces them into.

he will do what he has to.

but he’s so scared. he’s not used to people relying on him or being attached to him. he’s so scared of that attachment he wants to run he has to be alone, alone is safe but Tails is there and he’s sleeping and he’s cuddled up to Sonic and Sonic cannot and will not be like the cruel adults that exist just to make his life worse.

when Sonic 2 happens he’s so proud of how capable Tails is. he’s not that nervous, Tails is doing great. sure, he doesn’t love Tails being dragged into stuff like this but it’s okay. it’s okay because Sonic will always be there to take the hit if Tails doesn’t dodge in time. and that’s fine. he’s a kid and learning. he can be clumsy. Sonic’s sturdy anyway.

when they meet Knuckles, Sonic is glad that the echidna seems to take a liking to Tails as a sort of older brother figure and it reassures Sonic that Tails would still have someone. Knuckles is not like Sonic, he is not going to take care of Tails like he does, but he's a protective figure, Sonic doesn't have to worry as much if he needs to be alone. which god he does. his skin is itching.

he loves Tails but he is itching to run.

when they move away from the islands, Sonic is quick to make sure Tails has shelter. he forges whatever he has to so that everything can be in Tails' name. both house and workshop. all of it. they're Tails', not Sonic's. Sonic can't have a house. he's been living in the woods so long that living in a house is so scary to him. he can't.

not yet.

when Shadow dies, Sonic mourns. death is not a foreign concept to him, but Shadow's sacrifice strings. Tails falls ill not long after and Sonic takes care of him. Tails has a high fever and in his delirium calls Sonic dad.

dad.

dad.

Sonic is aware of his own mortality, he almost died when he was 8/9. Shadow's death doesn't make him realize he will die someday, but it along with that keyword makes Sonic realize that when he dies he will be orphaning a child. his death will affect other people. he's not just some kid in the woods anymore. Tails will mourn like he does when he does.

Tails will be alone again when Sonic dies.

it doesn't matter how many of Sonic's friends take on a role in Tails' life, Sonic will be abandoning the kid in death. the thing he promised himself he wouldn't do. but what can he do? he's going to die young. it's only a matter of time.

he weeps amongst the trees. he is helpless to do anything besides prepare the kid.

things go on as normal. more adventures, more fights, more injuries, more fussing. it’s as normal as it can be. and sure maybe in the back of Sonic’s head he’s constantly trying to prepare Tails for when his only parent is going to leave him, but it’s minor. it’s fine.

when Sonic finds Emerl on that beach he knows the feeling that fills his heart. he knows that he’s gone from one kid to two.

everything about raising Emerl is rushed and a little different, but Sonic’s never had a normal experience raising a kid. weird is his home base.

there are a couple moments that get Sonic’s anxiety pumping. when Eggman says he has both Emerl and Cream hostage Sonic can feel the fear fill his veins, but of course Emerl gets both himself and Cream out of the situation. that’s his kid.

and it warms Sonic’s heart when he sees Emerl and Tails interact. something about Emerl brings out the childlike qualities of Tails and it’s endearing and so so heartwarming.

but nothing stays good forever.

Sonic had a choice. the world or his child. it wasn’t fair. but he couldn’t let Emerl destroy the planet. if only because he couldn’t force Emerl to deal with that amount of guilt. that wouldn’t be something the robot could live with. he prayed that he would be lucky and that Emerl would survive but…

“This was Gerald's final program... Should a weapon go out of control, the weapon will terminate itself...”

stupid fucking Gerald programming a self-destruct into a being with thoughts and feelings. stupid fucking Eggman gloating as if he won. as if this was something this was something to celebrate. stupid fucking Robotniks. stupid fucking world.

he didn’t regret the burning hot rage that took his over. he didn’t regret regret breaking Eggman’s jaw. he didn’t regret letting the dark energy blind him. he was blinded by tears anyway.

and god, Tails sounded like such a kid when he asked if Emerl would come back if the world was peaceful and Sonic couldn’t crush a kid’s hopes. especially not his own. his only. Sonic could barely keep it together as he agreed with Tails.

he made Tails stay the night at Vanilla’s house, too heartbroken to comfort the kid. tomorrow. he would do it tomorrow. when he had time to grieve on his own first.

turns out grieving was fighting with Shadow until they were both crying. Shadow lost his last connection to the Ark and Sonic? Sonic lost just about the worst thing he could’ve.

it wasn’t fair.

Sonic didn’t mean to be so much more protective of Tails going forward, hell of any kid he interacted with, going forward he just… he could deal with a lot of things. he had been through hell and back. pain was something he had learned to accept as part of his life. hell, maybe part of him would be lost without it. but he couldn’t lose Tails. for god’s sake if he was doomed to an early grave why was it so damn hard to have his kids outlive him?

he noticed Tails starting to doubt himself and that’s the last thing he wanted, Tails was so much better than him in so many ways, but he couldn’t… he couldn’t get over his fears.

was having Tails alive more important than him having a good self-esteem? Sonic was so lost. he had no frame of reference. Sonic had never had parents. no one to look after him. to show him what to do or what not to do in raising his own. he wanted Tails alive but he didn’t want Tails to have a miserable life. how was Sonic supposed to show Tails that he was more than capable without risking the kid’s life?

he didn’t know.

he tried but everything kept getting worse and Sonic didn’t know what to do and-

6 months of torture gave him plenty of time to think. too much time, really.

Sonic thought about plenty of things. but his mind always went back to golden fur and blue eyes. was Tails okay? sure, Sonic ran away a lot to do his own things, but never this long. had anyone taken up on taking care of Tails? did Tails blame himself? he shouldn’t. he’s just a kid.

safe to say he was not happy when he heard that Tails was missing when he got back. he was already upset with his boyfriend, and now his kid was just alone in an active war zone. Sonic knew Shadow had probably watched the kid from a distance but that wasn’t enough. Tails was 12 for fuck’s sake!

Sonic kept up the smiles, of course he did, but it only reinforced that Tails would be alone when Sonic actually passed and that… maybe Sonic was more mad at himself than anyone else.

or maybe the cruel workings of Fate. but no… that couldn’t be it. Sonic had defied fate before. but…

he didn’t know what he was mad at anymore. it didn’t matter.

Tails was in his arms again and maybe, just maybe, Sonic would teach Shadow about parenting.

just in case.