#I’m glad some people are interested in my own journey

[vivalas-vega]

unexpected / bradley 'rooster' bradshaw x reader

howdy y'all - we've got another rooster fic. i feel i've neglected this man too much on my blog and wanna start writing for him more so here we are with a fleet week fic inspired by my own journey onto a navy ship yesterday!!! (the similarities between my fic and the real deal start and end with waiting in line. my guide was cute but let's just say he was no bradley bradshaw). it was very cool and educational and if your city does fleet week i highly recommend checking it out! this fic will have maybe three parts total. anyways hope you enjoy :)

unexpected / bradley 'rooster' bradshaw x reader

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word count: 3.2k

warnings: slight language, naval inaccuracies!! (even tho I just did my own fleet week tour I still don't know shit, I'm just a girl)

The ocean breeze filtered through your hair as you stood off to the side, eyes fixated on the impressive carriers in front of you. The sun felt hot on your skin and excitement was buzzing through your veins as you listened to your best friend in your ear… well, half-listened.

“We’re brunching! Come on, meet us at Malibu Farm,” Maggie said and you sighed.

“I told you it’s Fleet Week, I’m already down here,” you replied and you could feel her eyes roll on the other side of the phone.

“I would be supportive if you were trying to bag one of those Navy hotties but come on… bottomless mimosas and all the dirt on Stephanie’s breakup are better than some boats,” she said.

“I will see you for drinks tonight,” was all you replied before hanging up. You’d tried (very unsuccessfully) to convince some of your friends to come with you, telling them about how cool these carriers were and how you only got the chance to see them up close and personal once a year but they had zero interest… you were the only one in your circle who found this sort of thing interesting, and you would have been bummed except for the fact that you were more than okay doing things by yourself.

It wasn’t uncommon for you to go to a concert or a museum solo, you actually enjoyed it… you loved hanging out with your friends but it was nice to not be tied to what the majority of the group wanted to do (or didn’t want to do), and as you waited in line you were actually a little glad none of them had taken you up on your offer. If Maggie were here she’d be ogling the cute officer who appeared to be getting ready to take your group on board, and she’d spend the whole tour trying to flirt with him instead of listening to what he had to say. 

You were content to wait in line as long as it took, taking in the beautiful ships to your left before switching to people watching, you knew this week drew all kinds of visitors and you found it entertaining to see such an eclectic mix of people all in one space… there were the obvious ex-Navy types, returning to their roots and reliving the glory days, there were couples who looked a little out of their element but excited for something new to do as a date, and families with kids… you even spotted an entire elementary class on a field trip. Spare your friend group, most people were more than interested in the opportunity to spend a day aboard multi-million dollar vessels and you were one of them.

Across the way Lieutenant Bradley Bradshaw was chatting with his teammates about how much they wanted today to be over… it wasn’t that he hated Fleet Week, because he did enjoy it for about the first hour, but after that it became tiresome to give the same spiel over and over and over. They’d all tried to get out of it, Natasha had even gone so far as trying to manifest a deployment, but according to the higher ups there was no excuse for the Navy’s best and brightest to not make an appearance at an event happening so close to their home base. 

But then he saw you and he couldn’t help but smile as he watched you seem so enamored by everything around you… you didn’t hold an ounce of annoyance over the fact you’d been standing in that same spot going on half an hour now, something he’d seen from other visitors a dozen times already, and when a gust of wind kicked up your hair and sent it fluttering around your face you gave a half hearted attempt to tame it, but really you were just enjoying the breeze and the sun on your skin and he knew he had to know your name. He watched Jake getting ready to take your group aboard and he had to know if you’d abandon the formal tour in favor of letting him take you up instead.

You were eavesdropping on a conversation between a sailor and a kid just ahead of you, a soft smile on your lips as you listened to just how excited both parties were to be talking about the ship in front of you and you were so focused on them that you didn’t notice a person approaching you, not until his shadow cast across your face and when you turned you saw a man who nearly knocked the wind out of you… he was tall and solid, arms straining against the short sleeves of his khaki uniform and you thought that no one should look good in that color yet here he was proving you wrong. His golden brown waves glistened in the direct sunlight and he had a slight smirk beneath a mustache that you really wanted to hate, but you really didn’t… he was handsome, potentially one of the most handsome men you’d ever seen, and here he was standing directly in front of you and you looked up at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something.

“Lieutenant Bradley Bradshaw, ma’am,” he introduced, extending his hand for you to shake which you did as you gave him your name and a smile. “What brings you out today?”

“A bizarre fascination with ships the size of planets,” you replied and he laughed. It was warm and a little rough around the edges, much like you’d appraised him to be in your short interaction, and you wanted to hear it again.

“Well, my day wrapped up not too long ago and I couldn’t help but notice you waiting for a tour…” he started, leaning in slightly with a mischievous look on his face as if he was about to tell you a secret, “and between you and me, your tour guide is a dud.” he finished and you looked towards the man, tall, blonde and oozing charisma and you had a feeling Bradley was lying to you as you watched him charm the entirety of your group with one sentence… but you weren’t feeling too keen on calling him out on his fib.

“Oh no, is that so?” you replied, disappointment lacing your tone.

“Mmhm,” he hummed. “I think you oughta let me take you up, make sure you get the tour you deserve,” he propositioned and you nodded, a smirk tugging at your lips.

“I think that might be for the best… for the sake of a thorough Navy education and all,” you said and he nodded, gesturing towards the ramp and he held out his hand for you to take as you pulled yourself onto the steep landing. His hand was warm in yours and all-encompassing as he held it and made sure you made it safely before letting it fall back to your side and you were almost a little disappointed when he did.

He led you into the cargo hold, a massive room filled with so many things your eyes had a hard time adjusting at first. You trailed alongside him as he explained everything to you, sparing no detail as he went and you were particularly fascinated by the boat that was rigged to be deployed at a moments notice, positioned right in front of a hatch door, and he told you it was primarily there for search and rescue missions as he rattled off information about how long it takes to get it down into the water and pointed out the crane used to move it around as needed.

You listened with rapt attention as you continued through, you added a quip or a question here and there but mostly you were hanging onto his every word as he pointed out things like their freezer and the gym, and you realized you might have been content to listen to this man read you his grocery list and you had to make a conscious effort to focus on the words themselves and not just the voice that was speaking them. As you made your way up a steep and narrow stairwell, so much so you might have described it closer to a ladder than stairs, he stayed right behind you where he could catch you if you fell and you tried to ignore the fact that his diligence almost made you want to fall.

“There’s a lot up here,” he said as he led you down a hallway lined with doors, “but it’s mostly just bunks and offices. We’re not technically supposed to show you this, but… I won’t tell if you won’t,” he added as he pushed one of the doors open and you pretended to lock your lips and throw away the key as you peeked inside, taking in the modest living quarters with multiple twin beds.

“So, this is where you sleep when you’re deployed?” you asked and he nodded, brow furrowing when you looked at him, clearly skeptical about something as your eyes trailed him top to bottom before returning to the beds in front of you, “how do you even fit?” you followed up and immediately you flushed, not meaning to ask that at all but it was the first thing that popped into your head and it flew out of your mouth before you could stop it.

“Not comfortably, sweetheart,” he replied with a laugh and you smiled softly at the term of endearment as he shut the door and nodded for you to follow. He talked about the photos lining the walls, telling you who was who or what was what in the ones he recognized before you went up another stairwell and before you could walk through the door frame in front of you he placed his hands on your shoulders, stopping you in your tracks.

You turned your head to look at him, an unasked question on your face, and he gave you that addictive smirk of his, “now this is the really fun part that very few people get to see,” he prefaced and you felt anticipation brimming as he kept his hands on you and guided you forward.

“Just breaking all the rules today aren’t you, Lieutenant Bradshaw?” you replied and he wanted to tell you that you could just call him Bradley but one look at the mischief in your eyes told him you knew that… you just liked calling him Lieutenant and he liked hearing it too much to stop you. When you turned your attention forward you were faced with two beautiful jets right in front of you and you faltered for a moment, stunned by the sheer impressiveness of the aircrafts.

“Holy shit,” you muttered, careful of your step as you approached one of them and Bradley tried to commit that look of awe on your features to memory, his heart stuttering at the sight. You instinctively reached a hand out before snapping it back, realizing you probably shouldn’t be touching things with price tags you couldn’t comprehend.

He chuckled, “go ahead, it’s mine so do your worst.” 

He thought you might get whiplash with how quickly you turned to face him, “yours? How have we made it through this whole tour without you mentioning you’re a pilot?”

“Thought I’d keep you on your toes,” he replied as you returned your focus to his jet, hand trailing along the smooth metal as you walked around it.

“I never thought I’d get to see an F/A-18 in person… at least not one that’s active,” you sighed, and now he was certain his heart had stopped in his chest. “Tops out at what, twelve hundred?” you asked and he blinked in surprise, only able to nod in response because he didn’t quite trust his words right now. He knew he liked you as soon as he saw you, so much so he was taking you on his tenth tour of the day when all he’d wanted to do previously was go to the bar, but now he was worried he was in a little over his head as you appreciated his jet, having identified it immediately without any help from him. “God, this is incredible, Bradley,” you said, maybe a little breathless from how excited you were and before you knew it he was disappearing, leaving you standing at the nose with a confused expression.

You laughed when he returned, rolling a ladder to the side of his jet and beckoning you over. He hadn’t anticipated you to know anything about planes, or really have any interest beyond the first minute of being in front of it, but now that he knew otherwise he wanted to show you everything. He held onto your hand as you took each step, trailing right behind you just as he had in the stairwells and when you got to the landing he started pulling the canopy back and you let out another soft gasp.

“Can you get in trouble for this?” you asked, turning to look at him. You knew private tours with high ranking pilots were not standard for Fleet Week, and you also knew this wasn’t an area most people would be allowed in, and you worried for a brief moment what would happen to him if anyone caught you.

He shook his head, “you’re accompanied by a Lieutenant, we’re fine,” he answered, smiling as you leaned over slightly to look inside his cockpit and his heart was thudding in his chest at the sheer wonder in your eyes. He started pointing out all of the controls, telling you what they did and why, and he answered your every question just as he had with the rest of the ship. “Sweetheart, I’ve gotta be honest… I’ve never met anyone who gave a damn about these jets that didn't work in or around them already.” 

You pulled your attention back to him with an incredulous look, “how could they not?” you asked, and you wanted to keep your gaze on those pretty brown eyes that were locked on you, but the novelty hadn’t quite worn off yet and you looked back inside the jet. “I mean… this is next level engineering wrapped up in a pretty package, what’s better than that?” He thought you were beautiful when he saw you standing on your own with your hair blowing in the breeze and the sun kissing your skin, he thought you were beautiful when you laughed at his dumb jokes in the cargo hold, but right now he was certain he’d never seen anything more beautiful than you slightly bent over and leaning into his cockpit as you truly appreciated the one thing he loved most in this world.

“Please let me take you on a date,” he blurted out, unable to stop himself and you looked at him a little surprised. You’d been hoping since he approached you that he’d ask, but you couldn’t help but laugh a little at the unexpected timing.

“Ask me again after the tour,” you replied with a smirk and though it vaguely sounded like rejection he couldn’t help but smile. If you wanted to make him work for it then he absolutely would. You asked him a question about the gauges and he told you exactly what they measured, and when you finally made your way back down the ladder he even let you sit on the second to last step as he wheeled it back to its place.

“Bradley!” you squealed when he whipped it around, hands bracing on the poles on either side of you and you were a little breathless when you were suddenly facing him, looking up at him as his strong hands gripped just above your head as he continued pushing you through the open area.

“Just wanted a better view,” he replied and you flushed at the compliment. Even though it was only two steps he still offered you his hand as you got off and of course you still accepted it, lingering for a moment before dropping it. He took you back through the carrier a different way than you’d came so he could show you absolutely everything, still narrating as he went. Truthfully, there wasn’t much difference on this route than the other but it was longer and he wanted to drag this out. He knew as soon as you stepped off the ship he wouldn’t have any reason to keep you longer than he already had, and he wanted to postpone that moment as long as he could. 

When you entered the now familiar cargo hold you couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed, you didn’t want your time with Bradley to come to an end but it seemed it was inevitable as he led you down the ramp and back onto solid ground. Your eyes were bright when you turned to face him and you still had that smile on that hadn’t seemed to leave your face all day and it was another sight he wanted to commit to memory. You had surprised the hell out of him, turned his boring day around the second he saw you and he knew with certainty he couldn’t get enough of you… and you were in the exact same boat. You knew when you got here today you’d have a good time, that the other man Bradley insisted was a dud still would have given a good tour and you’d have gotten exactly what you came for but the man in front of you exceeded every one of your expectations and then some, and you weren’t looking forward to the moment you had to go back to your car and not have his eyes on you anymore.

“Bradley, that was…” you sighed, “that was incredible, I don’t really know how to thank you for that.”

“Let me take you out,” he replied easily and you flushed, the tour was over and he was wasting no time in asking you out again, and this time you let him. 

You nodded, “I’m free tonight.” His grin was wide as he fished his phone out of his pocket for you to input your number, and you couldn’t help but mirror him when he told you to put your address as well so he could pick you up… if this was anyone else, if you hadn’t just spent the afternoon with him catering to your every query and whim, you would have told him no. You would have said you could meet him somewhere, but you trusted him. The few hours spent together showed you that you could, and that wasn’t lost on Bradley. If you’d said no he wouldn’t have even blinked, he would have suggested something else that made you more comfortable, but you didn’t say no… and that caused his chest to tighten as he looked down at your beautiful smile.

“I’ll pick you up at seven,” he said, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to your cheek and you felt your skin tingling as he pulled away. “Wear something comfortable.”

You nodded, a little curious as to what he could have planned but you could just tell if you asked he wouldn’t say, and you were more than happy to let this man surprise you. “I’ll see you tonight, Bradley.”

“And I’ll be counting down every second.”

[sparklingcid3r]

this is kind of a weird q but i was reading ur hc about the curtis parents and thought it was vv good! what do you think each of the brothers miss specifically about their parents (besides like their literal presense lol)? also what do you think their mom and dad thought was special about the  individual traits of each of their sons and were most excited/worried about for each of their futures?

Ty I’m glad u liked them!! I love doing those kinds of posts, they get my thoughts going so good

This was also suchhh a good ask I was sitting on it for a while just thinking about it it was so good

Starting with Pony, I think that he misses his father’s reassurance the most. Since Darrel Sr. and Soda were two very similar people and Soda was very sensitive to Pony’s interests and personality, in my head Pony was really close with his dad as well. Darrel Sr. was a big reader, same as Pony, and his dad was the first person Pony went to in order to rant and rave about the book he just finished. Some nights would just be them picking up a book and sitting on the couch, Pony leaning his head against his dad’s chest while he read quietly, putting on different voices for each character. Darrel Sr. encouraged him to pick apart what he didn’t like and construct the story over again, setting the foundation for his writing ability later on.

Onto Soda, I think he misses his parents’ cooking. On the weekends, he took for granted getting to wake up to the smell of greasy eggs and bacon and, whenever his dad was in the mood, pancakes. The sound of a sizzling frying pan and Darrel Sr. banging the top of the syrup bottle against the counter to get it open. Josephine (Mrs. Curtis) would let out a long, high whistle to get the boys downstairs, but she rarely needed to do it on those days. They were fighting to get down the stairs first. Darrel Sr. would sneak chocolate chips into some of the pancakes and they were always flipping the plate over trying to stab them all on their forks first. Josephine always knew how each boy liked his eggs and made sure to put lots of cheese on Soda’s scrambled eggs, and she always snuck him her pieces of bacon that she didn’t want. The kitchen hasn’t smelled like that in a long time.

Darry misses his mom like he lost half his soul. Not only was he the firstborn, he was most similar to his mother, so their bond was special. She kept him on the straight and narrow when the world got just a little too loud with all the yelling and fights and rodeos, was always the first person he went to when he didn’t know what to do. Josephine was there his whole life, sitting at the end of his bed when he was younger, telling him to be quiet on Christmas Eve so he could hear the reindeer land on the roof, reading him excerpts of her favorite books. She was the one who told him he would be the first Curtis to get to college. When the winter comes around and the smell of Christmas and peppermints and sour apples are in the air, he can feel his mom’s arm around his shoulder and suddenly he’s fourteen and about to start his first day at Will Rogers again, and she’s telling him he’s going to leave them all in his dust soon. Even though their deaths are the reason he is where he is, he’s glad Josephine isn’t there to see him now, failing his brothers, himself, and her.

We’re gonna go in reverse for the second part and combine it a little bit- you’ll see what i mean ;)

Josephine and Darrel Sr. were very confident in Darry’s future. They knew he had drive, ambition, and the discipline to go wherever he wanted in life, so they weren’t worried about the destination, only the journey. They worried that Darry might lose himself on the way, that he would forget about his roots and how they shaped him just as much as his own desires did.

When it came to Soda, they were in love with and terrified by the way he couldn’t help but wear his heart on his sleeve. They knew that boy was going to get his heart broken a million times before finding the girl who would treat him right, but they feared he would break down before he got there and settle for fine when he deserved great. He was a small town soul from the get go, it wasn’t lavish living he craved, but comfort, and all they could do for him was hope he’d find it.

And Pony, they feared how the world would welcome him. He saw things differently than anyone else on the East Side. He liked books and movies and nature and the abstract, and they wanted him to be able to foster those passions without any fear of rejection or mockery. They didn’t want him to have his light snuffed out before it had even become a spark, to give in to the violence that kept going in circles on their side of the tracks.

i think we girlbossed a little too close to the sun w this one, i didn’t think it would get this long😭🙏

[midnight-bay-if]

I'm so torn between ROs... Honestly can't decide between S, who seem to be like the greenest of flags here - they're human, and have no ulterior motive (I think?) to pursue the MC, apart from the initial spark of attraction and curiosity. Also their personality seems okay as well, they look like a mature person, someone with whom it is easy to communicate and just be around. Sure, they have their own inner demons, but come on - who doesn't? At least S try to not make their demons everyone else's problem.

But also there is N, who seem a little bit too much for me personally, but, oh, I do want to romance them just to spite Alek.

And also there is Umbra! Umbra, reappearing out of thin air, when they are needed. Umbra, who looks like an encyclopedia illustration of 'ride or die' term. Umbra, who follows us around like a lost puppy. A little bit creepy - in a sexy way - tall, dark, alluring puppy. Somehow the fact they do not realize how attractive they are and how much more they intrigue the MC by trying to keep us at arm's length, makes them even more attractive.

God save multiple save slots 🤣🤣🤣

Also, if there is some kind of petition about making Hunter a LI in the next book, please, sign me in. I really like their personality. They are surprisingly honest and do not try to cover their motives behind pleasantries. Yes, we do not know yet what those motives are, but still. I also love their 'no f***s given' attitude and the fact that they like to get on the MC's nerves a little bit. But at the same time they immediately back off when they see we are genuinely not in the mood. What a beautiful potential for the 'push and pull' relationship dynamic! To annoy each other, first out of spite and mutual irritation, using pet names as an insult, but slowly starting to anticipate this banter, making it flirtier and annoying not each other, but everyone else around... Starting to like each other's stubbornness and edginess... Chief's kiss.

Oh, but also, of you say Hunter is a shitty person, and there is nothing to redeem them, that's all right, too. If they are genuinely a bad person, and want to use our MC for whatever reason, and do not care for us as a person, then we can just ask Umbra to pay them a friendly visit and to (intimidate them to death)... I mean, poop on their porch or something. Like a good puppy they are.

Hi, anon! I’m so glad my evil plan to have everyone fall in love with each of my ROs is working, haha.

But yes, you are right about S being the greenest of green flags, lol. All the ROs have a journey to go through, but S is well in the depths of theirs already and has mostly come through the other side. I wanted at least one RO to be well-adjusted. That isn’t to say they won’t experience struggle in their route, but they will handle it with dignity and maturity.

N is definitely a little full-on, but they can also be good fun to write, at least, haha.

Umbra is a cutie. Definitely MC’s ride-or-die. Umbra came from a really personal place, so I can’t help but have a soft spot for them. They were my guardian angel exactly when I needed them, so now I hand them over to everyone else, too. Just in case.

I’ve been giving it a lot of thought since the discourse started about Hunter. Hunter is not a good person, but I think it will make for a very interesting dynamic if people decide to pursue him. By the time his potential romance comes around, people will be able to make a much more informed decision about him. So, although I couldn’t make him an RO in book one, I think it will work out for the best this way.

Thank you so much for the kind message :) It really means a lot.

[creatingblackcharacters]

I was so glad to find your blog, because it’s given me the opportunity to find some awesome resources for my writing, but there was one thing in particular that I think I should send an ask about, so here goes:

I’m writing a story that focuses on teenagers trying to get revenge for different tragedies that they know we’re all caused by the same person. It has a pretty big cast, but there’s one character who I really feel like I need to talk about so I make sure I tell her story the right way. This character is a Black girl who sets out to find her missing younger sister, but there’s some details I’d really like to get peer reviewed first to make sure they aren’t offensive, or see if there’s anything I can do to make them better.

So, this character starts off as a “gifted kid,” kind of— she gets good grades, she plays an instrument, she has tons of friends, all the stuff parents want their kids to hav in school. Until she witnesses an incident that ends up scarring her, that is. (The incident is just a catalyst and not as important to this character, so I’m skipping the details. Someone died.) She suspects something’s going wrong in her town, and that people’s lives are in danger, but no one listens until it’s too late, and her little sister has gone missing. Now, here’s where things get to a point where I want to ask for help. The little sister was killed, and the older sister suspects that she could’ve been saved if the police paid more attention to her, and their ignorance when it came to the situation might’ve been rooted in racism. She develops a distrust of authority, including her own parents, and decides if no one else is going to destroy this evil, it might as well be her. The older sister then goes on a journey to try and solve the mystery for herself and ever silly come to terms with her sister’s death, all the while believing that she can’t go to the adults because they won’t take her seriously. Even if she’s a straight A student, even if they say she’s a bright kid, she worries it isn’t enough. Because when it matters most, they didn’t take her seriously. By the end of her arc in the story, the older sister has faced down the villain, accepted her sibling’s death and helped her spirit move on, while also making sure nothing like that will happen again— at least under those same circumstances. She comes clean to her parents about everything, and she actually has one of the best relationships with her family out of any other character in this story. But that’s pretty sensitive stuff. I feel like I can’t just wing it, I need to talk to people and see where I could go wrong, and where I could go right with this. I’ve noticed there aren’t a lot of stories where Black girls get to go on adventures and face down evil, so I wanted to try writing one myself, but I really want to do this character justice. If there are any tips you have for making this character authentic, any places where I should be particularly aware of the subject material, and any additional resources for writing horror with characters of color, I would love to hear them.

It all sounds interesting to me! But as always, the prompt versus the actual writing can always diverge. This is yet another situation where I'd find a Black sensitivity reader to follow along with your work so that you don't get sidetracked, especially with a topic as complex as misogynoir (there are people on my recent post who have volunteered!) I'm not sure if you read my latest lesson on horror, but there are resources there, plus lessons on stereotypes. I would also suggest finding those books and visual media with Black girl protagonists and watching them, studying how they are done and how the story is told. I'm sure there are lists on Google of media to start with.

[norbezjones]

Bez Reviews Independent Books 5: The Last Bread Mage

Hey everyone!  I wanna do little reviews/writeups for the independently-published books I find on itch.io, and so, here I am.  I want to review one book every month or two (or quicker, if I’m lucky); it’ll get me reading more, and get authors who often go without feedback some thoughts on their work!  I think it’ll be cool for everyone!

If you want your book reviewed, the only requirement I have is that it’s hosted on itch.io.  Even if itch is just one of many places you can get the book, I want to review books that have a home there at least.  Feel free to get in touch with me with your books—I’m @NorbezJones on Twitter (I refuse to call it X), Bluesky, Pillowfort, Threads, Instagram, and Tumblr; I’m norbez2.0 on Discord.

Looking forward to seeing your books! <3

__________

After I reviewed M. Kirin’s Memory Leak, Kirin ( @maxkirin ) contacted me and asked if I wanted a review copy of another one of their books, The Last Bread Mage!  I said yes, and here we are!  So to make it plain as possible: I was giving a free copy of this book in order to review it.  However, that does not sway my opinion of the book either way, and my opinions are 100% my own.

So, what’s The Last Bread Mage about?  Well, in a fantasy world, the end times have arrived.  A red mage named Fel manages to survive the destruction of his magic school, and he finds a saint named Amara, who insists they must go to The Pinnacle, the center of the world.  Along their journey, they find a knight named Virgen and a thief named Dormi.  The four journey to the center of the world using the help of Fel’s magic, and when they get there, they make a surprising discovery.

There are almost 30 chapters, and between each chapter is a mini-chapter that describes something that ended off the previous chapter and/or will start off the next chapter.  This “something” can be an object, a person, a piece of worldbuilding, anything really.  These mini-chapters are a cool idea and add a lot to making the world feel real.

So, I won’t bury the lead: I liked this book a whole lot.  I really, really love it.  And not because I got it for free—like I said, that does not affect my opinion, and I honestly wish I could go back in time and spend money on this.  I’m going to make this review as in-depth as possible to make up for the fact that barely anybody has read this fucking amazing book.  I have criticisms, obviously, but overall, this book is a 10/10 from me.

It reminded me of the thick sci-fi & fantasy epics I read to pass time in the hospital (to be clear, that is a compliment), immersing myself in deep worlds with rich characters between the pages.  I wish I’d had The Last Bread Mage during my last trip to inpatient.  I’m glad I have it now, at least.

Also, it’s one of those books that the more you read it, the more the meaning of the cover becomes clear & changes.  The last time that happened was with Still Life With Woodpecker, and it was pretty cool to see it happening here.

You might be asking, “Why is it called The Last Bread Mage?”  This is because Fel is the last red mage, and “bread mage” is another name for “red mage” due to the fact that red mages make bread for hungry people.  They basically use their magic to bend the rules of the universe using the three basic components all things are made of: texture, fiber, & substance.  By mixing & matching these basic materials, they can turn one thing into an entirely different thing, like when Fel renders the bars of a cell into bread.  They use up energy when they do that though, so they can’t do it forever—after all, even magic-users are only human.

The magic system in this book is very interesting, and makes for some very unique ways for Fel to get him & his friends out of the perils they end up facing.  It also soon leads to theological implications, because red mages’ magic changes the logic of the universe set by God.  However, God can only “see” the basic components all things are made of, so since a transmuted item retains the same basic materials, in God’s eyes, nothing has changed.  These theological implications are explored in various ways and go in many directions I didn’t expect, like when Fel uses his powers to make him & his friends not exist in the eyes of God.

There are also times where Fel’s powers go awry, though, through no fault of his own.  Basically, the apocalypse occurring in the world is causing the world’s logic to fall apart, drowning continents and making fantastical creatures appear that previously only existed in fiction.  This means that the logic behind Fel’s powers sometimes fails him, such as when he tries to make a doorway for him & Amara to escape down the block from a threat, but when they go through that doorway, they’ve been transported halfway across the world.

By making the story about the logic of the universe and how it can be exploited or make what should go right go wrong, the book carries a consistent throughline throughout the whole thing, even & especially when Fel does his most shocking action near the end of the story.  It’s a very admirable feat.

Speaking of the ending, I do want to talk about that.  If you don’t want to be spoiled, skip to the “SPOILERS END HERE” line.

**SPOILERS START HERE**

When Fel and his friends reach The Pinnacle, they meet a few other folks there—and they meet God.  I wasn’t sure if God was going to end up being real or not, but there it is, fretting as the world comes to an end.  It’s revealed that God made the world in an effort to make order out of chaos, but chaos keeps seeping through, no matter what it does.  It has ended & restarted the world many, many, many times, always bringing back The Chosen Four (Amara & three others named Lumbre, Huesos, & Frio) and The Fated Four (Fel [true name: Felicidad], Virgen [true name: Virtud], Dormi [true name: Domino (a name Dormi finds “fucking stupid”) & Beatrix [true name: Hambre])

Beatrix is a very interesting character.  In this lifetime, she was the butcher in the prison Dormi was locked up in, ruthlessly killing many of Dormi’s friends.  But she regrets being that person, thought she had to make herself into what she now realizes is a monster.  Her & Dormi’s reflection is shown in this passage:

“Dormi and Beatrix‌—‌who had been incredibly lost until this point‌—‌found themselves looking at one another. They thought about the life they’d led and wondered how different things would’ve been had they switched places. It humbled Beatrix, for she had been taught to hate the people of Gritlan, and it scared Dormi, for they were terrified of the butcher they might’ve become.”

The eight of them are always created when a new cycle begins.  Amara remembers every single cycle, every single timeline that has ever existed.  So does God, of course.  And now, it’s time for the world to end for a new cycle to begin.

The Chosen Four all carry pieces of The Worldly Egg, from which a new cycle of the world will hatch.  They take out their pieces, the egg forms—but God doesn’t hatch it.  Instead, God admits to them that it is tired of change, of chaos.  It longs for predictability, and wants this all to end.  It wants this to be the last cycle to ever exist.

Of course, everyone else protests.  So, God asks them all to vote whether this should be the last cycle of the world.  God votes Yea, as it is tired of doing this over & over again.  Everyone else votes, until finally, Fel has to be the tiebreaker. 

But instead of voting, Fel takes the The Worldly Egg and rends it, crunching it down to its most basic materials and absorbing them into himself.  In doing so, Fel absorbs everything existing into himself—the world, his friends, even God—and becomes the new creator of the universe.  The Prince of Absolute Chaos.

He creates a new cycle, brings his friends back.  God is reborn as a child, and as a being who has never had a name, it asks Fel to have his—to be named Felicidad.  Fel says yes, as long as, “[Y]ou must promise me to honor the name by living a life full of joy, laughter, and smiles.  Do you promise?”

The previous God thinks about it—after all, life could be full of “joy, laughter, and smiles” or it can be full of “misery and misfortune”.  In the end, it promises Fel it will uphold the name, and the book ends on that final exchange.

I teared up quite a bit as I read through the ending, and even going back to find quotes for this review made me tear up again.  Saving your friends, saving the world, and even saving God—there’s something very beautiful in that, I think.

I also love how Kirin was able to bring aspects of his Mexican culture into the book, by making all of the true names that of “the first language” within the book’s universe (Spanish).  It’s a nice little touch and I think it’s neat.

**SPOILERS END HERE**

Now for my criticisms.  Like Adrian in Memory Leak, Fel is referred to as “the young man” quite a lot.  Sometimes this happens multiple times in the same paragraph.  This seems to be in an effort to avoid using pronouns instead, but sometimes, it’s better to just say “he”, as someone who also has this problem in eir writing (thanks, OCD [literally, not a figure of speech]!).

That’s basically my only nitpick.  I wish I had more to criticize honestly, but I really don’t.  Good problems to have.

In conclusion, I’ve never been angrier that a book isn’t popular than when I finished this one.  Where are the Tumblr shitposts and multiple pieces of fanart for this book?  I’m so mad lmao!  Also, I imagine I will have that feeling quite a bit as I continue this book review series.

I want to leave off with these words that Amara says to Fel, because I think they’re beautiful:

“‘The only thing worth a damn in this world is being the best versions of ourselves. What does that look like to you, sweet Fel? What does the best version of you look like? It may seem far away, unreachable at the best of times, but you should reach out for this impossible ideal. Be the truest version of yourself. That’s the only thing we can do. Everything else? My dear, everything else is a gamble.’”

So true, bestie.  Amen.

[bengiyo]

Not sure if you’ve already answered this one or not but I’m curious what your top 5 BL character development moments/achievements would be?

My personal fave is Charn’s process of opening his heart to Tin and how it changed him but didn’t detract from his sassiness.

Hmm, this is an interesting one to consider. It requires the character to change in some way. It's notable because a lot of times it only happens for one of them.

Alex from The Warp Effect

I actually really like the arc for Alex. I think seeing a character reckon with the consequences of his choice or lack of choices was really well done in this show. I like that part of learning for him was about how his people pleasing hurts the people he's trying to appease and making the choice to take better care of the people around him by being a more active participant in his own life.

Nakamichi Misaki from Me, My Husband, and My Husband's Boyfriend

I think I really liked how much she learned that she can choose the kind of relationships she wants from the people around her. I like that so much of her learning about what kinds of love are possible is grounded in her genuine love for Yuki. I have some complex thoughts about where the show chooses to end, but I like how assured she seems about her own life by the end of this compared to the way she seemed trapped at the beginning.

Uea from Bed Friend

Continuing even into Middleman's Love, I really love that Uea learned that he doesn't have to dim himself. He is beautiful. There's nothing wrong with that. It's not his fault that people treat him a certain way. He is also unwell. I'm glad he admitted that and is getting help. I'm glad he's built a support network that knows about his struggles so they can take care of him. I'm glad he severed ties with his horrible mother. He is thriving as himself and not who he was told to be.

Kawi from Be My Favorite

In so many ways I thought Kawi was an incel at the start of the show. I like that so much of his arc was about seeing people around himself in a kinder way, and also treating himself more kindly. I like that he had to face that no matter what he tries he will always eventually lose his dad. Grief is one of the constants of being alive. Everything dies, and so we have learn to cherish what we have and accept that nothing lasts forever. I actually came to like Kawi by the end of the series and could see what Pisaeng saw in him originally.

Amane in If It's With You

I love this boy, and I love how much he's comfortable with the fact that he's attracted to men. I like that his journey with Ryuji is learning that he doesn't have to skip over the cute stuff about first love and run directly to the apps and hookup culture. I like how, even though I wasn't necessarily keen on the chaste ending, it didn't feel like Amane regressed into a sexless being. It's hard for a lot of us who didn't get to have these cute experiences as teens. Dating is hard. We didn't get to practice in simpler settings. I like seeing Amane get a second chance at high school love and blossom as a result.

Ask Me Top 5 BL 2023 Anything

[morsmortish]

i see you vague posting about a “bones and all” AU, i need more!!!

oh how glad i am you asked. there are many thoughts, many many many things to say.

i gotta admit i only watched bones and all for the first time a few weeks ago but all i could think about the whole time was how similar lee and barty were and then i started listening to a shitload of ethel cain and then i gave in to the voices and started properly thinking about a rosekiller au of all of it combined- i would say while i’ve tagged it as a bones and all au, it’s more of a hybrid of bones and all AND preachers daughter AND all my whirring thoughts on religiously traumatised bcj. (plus i’ve always had a soft spot for cannibalism imagery, which is probably only slightly concerning.)

the plan for the fic is to follow the rough plotline of bones and all (two cannibals on a road trip that fall in love) with a few tweaks. controversially, barty occupies the role that maren has in the film, but only in the sense that he is the main protagonist, and the story is more following his journey of self acceptance than it is of evan’s, who fills lee’s role as the ‘love interest’ who helps barty discover himself and then…well, dies. lee himself is so so barty but i think some of his traits and experiences (i’m solely thinking of the “do you think i’m a bad person?” to “am i bad? am i bad? thread for this) can and will still be a part of barty’s characterisation here.

there are some key changes to the film in this au though. for starters, barty crouch junior is going to be carrying a Hell Of A Lot of religious trauma. i want his dad to be a preacher, the pair of them living in a small town together. barty’s mother is dead, and barty is made to feel sort of responsible for this. the cannibalistic urges he has are kept under lock and key by his father, who essentially tries to scare him off of acting on them, using the threat of what happened to bcj’s mother as a kind of ‘ammunition’ (it makes sense in my head i swear). i want things to be getting progressively worse in this town, barty not being able to control himself as he gets older, i want his father leaving him to fend for himself one day. i want barty fleeing his town as they line up with metaphorical (or literal!) pitchforks outside his front door, and i want him meeting evan a few days later. i want them embarking on a mission to find barty’s father, but, unlike maren and lee, evan and barty are on a road trip to find and kill this old fucker.

evan is a difficult character for me to latch on to in this. he’s similar to lee in the way that he has left his town, he has a (twin) sister waiting for him back home, he’s USED to this life now. he’s very circumstancially (is that a word?) similar to lee, but, because he’s Evan Rosier, he’s just a weird little freak. he fills the ‘part’ of lee in the story but his personality is entirely evan. i want him being off-puttingly pedantic about the people he eats, the way he eats them, how he disposes of the evidence. like lee, he has a system for how to take advantage of his victim’s belongings, but it’s much more meticulous, almost mechanical. he’s somewhat detached from the whole thing. he loves the rhythm of eating someone, unlike barty, who much more resembles a rabid dog. he’s got a system for how he is going to live his life all laid out, and he’s not the most accommodating when barty tries to butt in and change everything around by dragging him along on some harebrained revenge scheme against his own dad. but he can’t help but get sucked into barty’s aura and he can’t help but (albeit reluctantly) drive him all across america in a fuckass truck.

that’s a sort of (extraordinarily long) backdrop for this fic. at its core it IS a bones and all au, but there’s so much to unpack in terms of barty’s religious trauma, which i think will pair so nicely with the cannibalism (↤ top ten phrases ever???). there’s also evan and pandora and their backstory, and don’t even get me STARTED on tom riddle and his Death Eaters (the clue is in the goddamn name).

BUT THANK YOU FOR ASKING ROYAL, you’ve given me such a lovely opportunity to ramble about my thoughts and i’m spiritually lying on my bed giggling and kicking my legs any time i get to reply to an actual ask that an actual someone has actually asked me. the issue is i’m notoriously bad at actually writing these ideas, so this may end up staying as a very developed concept, with a pinterest board, a playlist, a tumblr tag…you get the gist.

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

The way substance abuse has been handled on the show thus far genuinely upsets me and reeks of writers who either 1.) don't understand the subject matter they're presenting and haven't done even the bare minimum to research it or, worse, 2.) simply don't care.

Apologies for the slight rant incoming, your comment about how it has been mostly "handled" off-screen got me going because that's 100% true and in that truth is such a missed opportunity for the show. The way it has been handled winds up feeling incredibly shallow and juvenile at the end of the day, especially for a piece of media that is attempting to present itself as "adult" and navigate multiple incredibly sensitive topics. I'll try not to get into my own personal experiences and will speak broadly, but the show uses substance abuse more as a cheap character flaw to poke fun at or something to magically handwave away when it is inconvenient, rather than the life-altering, debilitating illness that it is.

Nothing about Angel's use is ever meaningfully explored. It's so (apparently) unimportant to his arc and development that one rude comment from Husk (a character who ALSO has a problem with gambling and alcohol that is never addressed) is all it takes for him to suddenly "resist temptation" and be shown as "recovered" (unless I'm misremembering). Or was he suddenly going to counseling off-screen too and its just another thing that will be told to us rather than shown? And how does Charlie even handle that at the Hotel (I'd be really interested in this as a moment for her character to have to grow/change too)? Does she even understand substance abuse and the many unaddressed systemic factors that can influence it? Or is the entire recovery process just shame based (because that works so well /s) combined with some more corny trust exercises? Why is this incredibly serious topic relegated to the background as if it's unimportant?

Recovery is hard. It is emotional and exhausting. Withdrawal (depending on what you're coming off of) can sometimes mean excruciating, unimaginable pain and in some cases people literally die. It is not a funny "ha-ha I take drugs because I'm chaotic and wild" quirk to be adored or glorified and it definitely should not be presented as something that can be wrapped up in a month or two off-screen without any development whatsoever. That's just insulting.

When you approach a topic like substance abuse and recovery, I personally feel you need to take in all sides of it. All the missteps that come with it (two steps forward one step back - mistakes are expected and okay), the self-loathing, the guilt and shame, the joy, the sense of freedom, the loss, and the best part of all: the incredibly difficult but liberating journey that is rebuilding your life and learning to love yourself and your body again, once you've chosen to be free and to live life.

Mad props to anyone who has ever battled this disease. You are strong, you are worth it and you are valued. Lol I am so sorry for going off here but I so appreciate you calling out the lack of exploration on this topic in the show. I guess I didn't even realize how annoyed and upset it was making me feel (praying this is coherent...).

This was absolutely coherent don’t worry!! Im really glad to see other people talking about this. I myself have not struggled with drug addiction but I have struggled with other kinds and as someone that studies a bunch of medical junk, I’d say I’m decently knowledgeable.

I’m mainly going to focus on Angel for this since he’s the main character I write for, but I assure you other characters addictions are also handled in my rewrite.

During the actual canon show, we don’t see Angel actually abusing substances that often; there’s a few times, most notably in episode 4, but from the rest of the show onward we hardly see anything. Yes in episode 6 they mentioned relapsing, which, mind you, was done horribly, but I digress. They touch on relapsing; Angel relapses, and then… what..??? What happened from that? I don’t feel upset or second hand guilt of any kind from this scene because we haven’t seen Angel’s attempts to stay sobre and off drugs.

His name is fucking Angel Dust. You don’t, I dunno, think that’d entail a higher dependency on drugs? Why do you think he named himself that?

About his name before anything else, the show has so much potential later on to talk about Angel picking out his drag name and why he chose that specifically. So much potential to explore how he views drugs and himself. He sees them as an escape and something “fun” to take his mind off of his actual life. When you die in a fucking coma and wake up in hell as a spider you’re going to want an escape. You will want to ignore reality. I am fully convinced Angel picked his name once he started performing because thats what he needed at the time. He needs to be like that to survive in hell. Angel is an incredibly mentally ill, troubled, traumatised, and unstable person, and being surrounded by so much intense negative influence only amplifies his current problems. I don’t mean to drag Vox in here but in my last redesign post I mentioned how very mildly bad people can become even worse people in hell because of the environment and this is no different for Angel. He’s been surrounded by crime and drugs his entire life and unable to live comfortably because of his sexuality. He has very likely been struggling with substances since he was a teen. Possibly even younger. He is not going to suddenly get over his addiction because of something like this. It could pave the way to him looking into dealing with it, but things like this can take years. I don’t remember when my addiction started; I’ve been clean for 2 1/2 years now I think, but the amount of relapsing and anguish I experienced while working towards that isn’t something that can be done in a few days or months. I still struggle with feeling like I deserve to say I’m recovering.

I’m hoping they tactfully handle this as they should, but my hopes are low. It’s okay to show a character relapsing. It’s okay to show a character feeling guilty. What matters is that the struggle is there to signify they’re trying. For a character with a song called “Addict” you really don’t see much of it. Drug and alcohol addiction is not a silly thing to just twiddle your fingers with and be like “well I guess thats over!” It’s incredibly insensitive to do so.

Whenever I write about Angel’s struggles with addictions, I focus on how small they can feel until you realise what’s actually happening. Just me talking about my rewrite again, but to get my ideas out here: Angel smokes often. He smokes at the studio when he’s stressed, he smokes at the hotel when he’s stressed, he smokes at in alleyways when he’s bored, there’s almost no location he won’t, but sometimes he tries to smoke less. His lungs aren’t the same as humans and technically he has 2 pairs of lungs, but smoking causes him to cough. This is painful in general and especially painful for Angel since he has barbs going down the back of his throat. Imagine choking on sandpaper, kind of like that. It’s painful, he doesn’t like the sound, Fat Nuggets REALLY doesn’t like the sound, and it’s an overall inconvenience, so he tries to stop smoking as much. Periods like this usually go fine for him until the stress returns or he starts to feel the withdrawal. Withdrawal from any sort of addiction is terrible, and in Angel’s case, just from not smoking it worsens his mental state further. He becomes irritable and stressed and that stress leads to wanting to smoke again to calm down. He may resist a few times and those times should be praised, but he gives in eventually. One cigarette to calm down becomes two, then three, and before he can process himself getting carried away, the entire pack is gone. It’s things like this that make addiction horrible. It’s something that deeply scared me when I was struggling. When I was struggling I was still in the mindset of “I can stop when I want to” and then being so suddenly hit in the face with the realisation that I’m not longer in control of this is terrifying. I could not stop when I wanted to. There were even points where I didn’t want to stop. Even just getting the smallest glimpse of this in an incredibly serious manner with Angel Dust would surprise me. To think the bar is this low on a show that seemingly prides itself on tackling such sensitive topics like you said is appalling. Your show shouldn’t have to be told how to write itself.

[layraket]

Day 23 - Forced Choice

Character(s): Warriors and Wind (LU)

Words: 1599

Summary: Warriors would do anything for his little brother, anything. At the end, he was the only real one.

Whump scale: 4 (see the full scale here)

Warnings: Injury, Major Character Death, slight manipulation

Part 1 in Day 2

-

Dark, everything was dark. Maybe because his eyes were closed.

Or maybe not, he didn’t know. When the light got to his eyes he had to close them instantly.

His body was trapped by a rope, his body leaning on a rock.

“Finally awake! Glad to see that my special guest did have good dreams.” A familiar voice, one that was painfully from his loved ones.

He wasn’t sure if they were really there anymore.

“Why so silent? I remember you being like this, but right now you should be screaming at me! Insulting me! Calling me the worst words in the hylian dialect!” The voices changed, making it look like a lot of people were in the place.

He knew that only one person was here.

“Stop using them as a costume.” His voice was raspy, that damn soup was horrendous.

“Oh! But they’re so fun~” The veteran’s face greeted him, his voice too similar to the one that he had heard for his whole journey. “I can’t believe that the Hero of Warriors is a fun-breaker, and I expected more from you”

His own face was now looking at him, the only differences being his hair, tunic and eyes.

Warriors didn’t answer to that comment, the Shadow didn’t deserve his words, even though he wanted to call him so many things.

“Mm… Let’s see, would you be more talkative if I give you some information?” The smirk went ear to ear.

That gained his attention, still, he knew this trick. He had been a victim of it a long time ago.

“Well… I can tell you a little about your brothers, your real brothers.”

“Speak, now.” Are they fine? Didn’t they get killed or something?

“Let’s see… We’ll go in chronological order, you won’t mind, would you?” The Shadow didn’t wait for an answer, walking around him, like if this was a fun game. “The bird one, yes he’s fine, mostly what you know is true. He’s at home, living his life with his dear goddesses-reincarnated girlfriend or whatever.”

Sky, he was fine. At least that’s something.

“The tiny one, he had chores to do at home, so no adventure from him.” Something flashed from its eyes “Although, the little rat decided to just left one with all the work, and he claimed that he finally learned how to work in group, what a liar.”

That, was interesting. He knew that there was something weird with the smithy, but, huh, he must have had reasons to not mention the fact that he had other siblings.

“We’re gonna omit one, because he’s special.” Before Warriors could ask who, the Shadow kept talking “Our dear veteran, ahh yes, he’s living with that merchant from a mirror kingdom, I think they have something going on, I never understood.”

Ravio? He suspected something, but he was glad that Legend was happy, maybe even getting finally a break.

“Now, the guy that followed that pink rabbit like a lost puppy” Even if he didn’t want to admit it, that description was fitting in some way “At least he’s alive.”

So little information? That was… Not good.

“The rancher, a good man, depressed but honestly he doesn’t even seem to care” If Warriors gets to see him again, he needs to talk with him about that. “And the wild child, that guy has still work to do, but he’s still whole… For now.”

“What do you mean by-“

“ANYWAY!” That was rude. “Finally, the one that you might be wondering how is his life going.”

Depending of what comes out of that fake mouth, he will commit murder.

“He has a wife” Warriors’ mouth was shut before he could ask “They’re happy, he has a ranch and I think he was about to give you a nephew, or niece, I’m not sure.”

So. His little brother. The little Mask was going to be a father. If it wasn’t for the situation, he would be so proud.

“Yeah, that’s all the information I got for you.”

Now was his turn to ask the questions “They got completely safe home? Nothing happened to them during the way?”

That made the Shadow giggle, like if the captain was just telling a stupid joke.

“They never were there with you.” Its face changed to an unsettling one, a smile that easily would put nervous to even the roughest of the generals. “All this time, you were with illusions, puppets if you want a clearer description.”

Maybe his face was doing a funny expression, maybe it was just because the Shadow, that damn being, enjoyed how his world collapsed.

“Yeah, sorry, I had to. I needed some unfinished business to be addressed.” It walked away, going to a part of the cave—was this place a cave? It was so dark— like if on search for something. “It is funny, that you didn’t notice an empty space.”

What was it referring to–

Wind.

“Where is he?!” It didn’t mention anything about him, how was he, how was his life going, where is he, nothing.

“You see, I needed to give a last favor to my dear master” He grabbed what looked like a dagger, the shape being difficult to make out in the dark “After all, you killed her.”

It clicked, of course these damn copies of him that Cia made were a sentient being, of fucking course.

“You took the one that I lived for, the one that I cared the most” Its voice sounded less like the joking one that he was using and more like one full of hatred, full of a toxic grief. “So, in exchange, I must offer you a deal.”

Warriors didn’t ask, didn’t said any word, it wasn’t necessary. Wind was tied up, with cuts and some bruises on his arms.

“This rascal was a pain for my plan. The little fucker infiltrated into my perfect illusion before I could take his place” Wind seemed like he was going to bite its fingers off, maybe that’s why he had a rope in his mouth. “When I was about to put his replacement in the way, he appeared like out of fucking nowhere and decided to include himself into the group of clowns. If I did a wrong move, any error,” At this point it was acting too dramatic, it makes sense that Cia created it “everything that I planed so carefully since that dark day would shatter into pieces.”

“Funny how a kid can do that, are you sure this plan was perfect?” Warriors wanted to fuck with it a little, it talked enough already, it was his turn.

A silent giggled came from the sailor, obviously for once taking the ‘being a kid’ card as a very powerful weapon to make fun of the Shadow.

“Ah-ha, yes very funny, let’s see if you stay laughing.” He grabbed Wind’s shoulder, making him move to be in front of Warriors, now they were face to face.

“This is my deal;” It made spin the dagger in his fingers, a smirk on his face that didn’t gave the captain any good feeling “You let me take an important thing from you, like that you will compensate what you took from me.”

“And what is the trick?” He knew it wasn’t this simple, it was impossible that the Shadow would ask for his favorite rock or something like that.

“Simple! I need you to choose which of these important things you will give to me. You have two very easy options:” It pointed his dagger towards Wind “The pirate’s heart, or…” The dagger was now pointing to his direction “Your life.”

Wind seemed like he wanted to protest, to give his opinion, that made him gain a kick from the Shadow.

“Choose, O Hero of Hyrule” The voice of Legend was the one used to say that.

The mother fucker.

Somehow, the sailor managed to free himself from the rope in his mouth “Captain don’t you fucking dare to–“

“Take my life. Let him be free.” He looked directly in the eyes to the Shadow, red ones and his own face looking back.

Wind was saying something, that wasn’t important right now.

“You can’t be serious! What in Farore’s damned tits are you thinking?! You can’t just choose to fucking die! You–“ Warriors kicked him without too much force in the arm where his hand was, making him shut up.

“Alright, now that our beloved seagull chick was silent, we can proceed!” The Shadow moved to stay in front of the captain, leaving Wind out of his sight.

“Just… One small request, yeah?” He looked again to the Shadow “Tell Cia that I say hi”

Before it could ask, its chest was impaled. Wind, having one of the hidden daggers in Wars’ boots, pressed it in where the heart must be.

The captain always had a plan, he wasn’t going to die so easil–

Something went through his throat, the taste of iron now sickly present in his mouth. He looked up and red eyes, full of hatred and an emotion that he couldn’t recognize, meet his.

“Now we are even.”

Wind’s scream was the last thing he heard; his vision was now filled with black spots.

When he finds her, he will ask Hylia to send him back to his island. That’s the last thing he wants to ask her. At least, his brothers, even if he didn’t really meet them, are okay.

Sorry Twilight, hope someone else talks with you about that thing about pretending to be fine, you idiot.

[oopsallmabari]

one more codex prompt down, one left to go. submitted by @creaking-skull:

4. a letter from your OC to their love interest

A letter found within the interior chambers of Vigil’s Keep, alongside a small, leather-bound journal filled with various pressed flowers and other flora from across Western Thedas. The journal is complete with accompanying drawings and diagrams, including a number of unnamed specimens. After cross-referencing with the Dean of Botanical Studies at the University of Cumberland in Nevarra, it is believed that some are the first of their kind to be documented in Thedas.

Dearest, I hate that I could not join you in time for your arrival to Weisshaupt, but I’m glad you were able to arrive safely. We’ve just crossed back into Orlais—I do not plan for us to stay long, but the Hunterhorn Mountains were just as unforgiving for our return trek. None of our party sustained any major injuries, but our provisions ran out two days early, and we’ll need time before any of us are fit to travel again. Velanna’s…displeased, though I expect it’s more to do with her feelings on the inn we’re staying at. Serault’s Sanctuary appears to be more orphanage than hostel, and Velanna’s managed to capture the interest of several children here. I think it’s quite sweet, actually. Your reports on the siege of Adamant Fortress were deeply concerning. Our journey into the Fade all those years ago was hardly a pleasant one—that you had to experience it again, in the flesh? I regret that you could not all make it out safely. But Maker, I cannot deny what a relief it is that you made it out at all. To not hear from you for so long—beloved, I worried. But I will not dwell on darkness when there are more pressing battles ahead. I have taken some time to consult with the others, but given what you’ve told me, I see no other options. I have had my suspicions of the other Warden contingents ever since what happened in Amaranthine—the Wardens may claim to operate without regard to boundary or border, but I cannot forget the minimal aid we received in trying to rebuild Vigil’s Keep after the darkspawn’s assault, nor the continued disregard from the First Warden of my reports on the Architect. That Clarel’s misguided attempt to sacrifice so many Wardens in the hopes that it would end all Blights was not simply overlooked, but encouraged, by Warden leadership, is more than enough confirmation for me that they cannot be trusted to protect their own, much less the rest of Thedas. The threat of the Blight still looms, and my leads further west have all but run out. So, while Weisshaupt still offers you food, shelter, and grudging acknowledgment, I make a request of you, and I do not make it lightly. Pull our people out. Every last Fereldan and sympathizer to our cause. They will march to Amaranthine under my command and await further orders there. The other Warden-Commanders have been all too content to keep me on the outskirts: it should be no issue, then, if I continue my efforts to stop the darkspawn without their meddling. They followed you across the continent, beloved—they will listen to you again. Submit the attached orders with my seal, if you must. I will have no part in the war games of fools who would toy with the lives of good and loyal people. Ferelden’s Wardens will return to Amaranthine unbound. My partner in all things—though I am not yet at your side, my heart beats with yours. Do not let them forget that the roses of Ferelden still have their thorns. With love, Veria

[angeart]

ok so I just finished binge reading (as well as staring in wonder at the beautiful art) basically everything about the fic and I just want to say. THE ART. THE WRITING. THE WORLDBUILDING AND LORE AND PLOT AND CHARACTER DESIGNS. THE EVERYTHING.

Their stories are so tragic and amazing and IM NOT CRYING YOURE CRYING *internally screaming and sobbing* >:C /vvvpos

also I’m super intrigued by the mimic??? Like, ohmygosh they’re such an interesting character and I feel so bad for them but at the same time HOW DARE YOU HURT MY CHILDREN </33333 im wondering if we’re ever gonna get any info on what their natural form (if they have one) looks like?? Or more mimic/hybrid lore, etc? but either way GREAT JOB ARGH this fic >>>>>>

I’m awestruck by both of your amazing skills, keep doing what you’re doing because you’re both gonna go great places, and already have and holy. I’m so invested in this fic lmbo. 🫵🏳️‍🌈🥺

-😸🫶🏼

waaa ohmygosh a new person! hi hello!!

i was confused for a second but i assume by fic you mean hhau! <33 their story truly is full of tragedy (just the way we love it hehe) and i'm so excited to hear you enjoyed looking through all the stuff and are now Invested™️!

also also!! it's great to hear you're interested in the mimic! when me and link made juni, we just had a What If Mimic thought one day and played around with it, and then it kept going and going, until it gained a life of its own. and, honestly, we weren't sure if people were going to like him by the end of his arc. he's complicated, he stepped between grian and scar, and he's made some very bad decisions. which, you know, is a tricky spot to put a character you want people to care about.

it always makes me so happy to know he's looked at with love and curiosity despite all the wrongs he's done rather than seeing his character just negatively and being glad he's gone, so thank u!! <33

juni doesn't know what his original form is. in a way, he doesn't have one anymore. he can't remember how to be himself, so he's just looking for someone to be. someone he can live with being, you know? identity is such a convoluted, twisted concept to him, but he's desperate to grasp it. to be his own, rather than just a thief or a coward or a traitor.

and maybe we'll get to see where that journey takes him. i hope that's something you'd look forward to see :3c

[sunflower73498]

My early thoughts on Season 3 Ep 1-5

mostly unprocessed ramblings but things I want to keep thinking about

(1) I think most importantly, Wille and Simon (and the rest of the characters, really) act like actual teenagers - teens don’t have it all together and don’t always communicate their feelings well and sometimes struggle to see things from other perspectives, especially when they are traumatized and grieving. I love that they show what a complicated phase of growing up adolescence is, in a very realistic way. Many teens struggle with lack of control in their own lives and can act out because of it, and in Wille’s case this is majorly amplified by having even less control because of the monarchy.

(2) fandom has idolized Erik, but I’ve never thought he was that great. As the viewer we get him more from Wille’s perspective so an idealized version of him until now, but there are definitely words and actions in s1e1 that were major red flags.

(3) I feel so bad for Wilhelm and his lack of support or interest from his parents. His outburst was deserved. Extreme, and scary, but what he said to them was a long time coming.

(4) I’ve seen people on Twitter saying that this season takes back some of Wilhelm’s character growth in season 2, which I disagree with. A handful of therapy sessions doesn’t fix his grief, the impact of being in the spotlight, his lifelong anxiety, or his parents neglecting him. I’m Season 2 he began a long journey of figuring out what matters to him, but that was just the first step, and I think s3 does a good job of showing how that is very much still a work in progress for him. He is trying, but often missteps and doesn’t communicate well.

(5) really loving getting to explore Simons emotions and reactions more. He’s also a work in progress just from a different starting point. He has his own family trauma, but having the support of his mom and his friends definitely makes a difference in how he approaches problems, even if his mom isn’t always the most attentive either. It’s also a realistic family dynamic with a history of domestic trauma/violence.

(6) I appreciated the hazing plot line. I went to a big public university in the US with very active Greek life, and our sororities and fraternities always had lots of hazing problems. The fraternities much more so, including a kid dying due to the hazing process while I was there, but some of my friends who rushed sororities also had some bad stories to tell.

(7) the acting is phenomenal

there are so many ups and downs for Wilmon and I’m glad the characters are complex and imperfect enough that I feel so deeply for them, even when it hurts as a fan of the ship and the individual characters. It hurts so much at times because it matters and it’s so real. Yeah, not everyone is a rich prince, but the emotions, the struggle for control and identity, is very universal.

(I really hope I’ve tagged this for spoilers appropriately. I’ve been on tumblr for 13+ years but mostly just lurk)

[small-but-oho]

Hi! I’m running over here to say THANK YOU FOR YOUR RECENT POST ABOUT DRAMATIC TENSION IN G/T!!!!

I have been shouting into the void about this with friends of mine for YEARS!!

Where did all the fear and angst in the community go?? Why is it all just rainbows and butterflies now? Having light to balance out the dark is great, don’t get me wrong, but I SOOOO agree with you: the entire basis of g/t is its very significant power imbalance.

If we’re all unwilling to acknowledge that then literally what is even the point of making something g/t in the first place? If it’s just two people hanging out… how is that g/t? Where are the stakes? What do these characters want? What are they fighting for? What makes life hard for them that they want to change?

I say this all the time: bad things NEED to happen in fiction. It’s the ONLY WAY to tell a story. Watch any movie or tv show and you’ll see this at play. We want our fictional heroes to struggle, to be afraid and to fight for something because that creates an actual plot.

I, too, am deeply disillusioned by the lack of actual fear and danger in g/t now. Let’s all be honest and acknowledge that being small next to someone so much bigger would be TERRIFYING and not without significant physical and emotional challenges to overcome.

It’s so frustrating when a small character meets a larger one and within .004 seconds they immediately trust them, with their life literally in a stranger’s hands. It’s doesn’t make any sense and leaves so many opportunities for good story telling on the table.

The struggle to adapt to a new environment, to make yourself heard in the face of invalidation, to discover you matter even though you’re different are all tropes that require some kind of unfair dynamic in order to be explored.

I find that journey to be actually super validating! Navigating a dynamic where you feel less than or not taken seriously or surrounded by danger and finding a way to fight through that? Isn’t that quite literally the textbook definition of empowerment and self actualization?

Okay, I’ve gone on long enough, but I just wanted to reach out because it’s so so so refreshing to see someone else in this community actually addressing this!

You rock! Have a wonderful day and keep exploring your story telling, because I think you’ve absolutely got the right idea!

AAAAAAAAAH THANK YOU FOR THIS MESSAGE!!!

I'm so glad you feel the same way ♥️

I legit wonder why this shift towards safe, nonconfrontational works occurred. Is it in reaction to the general state of the world? An influx in new users, who just aren't into fear and angst? Reaction to internet censorship? Idk.

And tbh it's also kinda disheartening as a dark subjects enjoyer. I do wanna write and create works that cater to my interests, but when you look into the tag, it feels like an uphill battle.

So yeah, if you want to, feel free to send me a msg off anon. Maybe we need to cultivate our own little community of like-minded people.

[thirdtidemouse]

as i gaze upon your blog i wonder, “what the hell is taskmaster?” i’d journey the lands of safari but its much better to hear the words of insight from the enjoyer. quite interested in the au tho, tempted to watch this thingamabob because of it. i like hearing your ramblings about your fave doodabs and whatchamajigits. i am determined to return to you with the holy gift of a singular hilda but finals are kicking my ass and i’m learning a new art program. while i wait i’d love to be graced by your words :3

HI ANON!! first of all good luck with finals and your new art program i hope everything turns out BEAUTIFULLY for you don't forget to have fun!!

i'm so glad you asked! taskmaster is a ridiculously entertaining gameshow that originated here in the uk with other versions in other countries. it's super fun to make aus/character studies around the tasks because they're so telling of personality!

the format of the show is - 5 comedians per season are set tasks by host greg davies (6'8" ex-schoolteacher, and it shows) and creator/cohost alex horne (the brains behind it, but onscreen is very weaselly/neeky and generally picked-on).

each episode begins with a prize task, in which contestants must bring in prizes to be won by the winner each day - the most high-octane item, the thing that makes the best noise, the most difficult thing to take home. prizes range from body parts to furnished bathroom sets. these, along with every other task, are scored in the studio from 1-5 points. the rest of the tasks are filmed beforehand mostly in one house, individually and sometimes in teams, and are incredibly arbitrary, silly, confusing or difficult:

eat as much watermelon in 60 seconds. eat an egg the fastest (it starts raw). interview, then write and perform a song about this stranger. conceal an entire pineapple on your person. take three huge exercise balls to the top of this large hill. make the biggest mess, then clean it up. get this object as far away from here as possible. go the longest time without blinking.

sarah kendall purposefully, blindfoldedly, throws her own house and car keys into the trees in front of the building. james acaster gets taken aside onstage to be told off by greg like a schoolboy. respected academic richard osman throws a shopping trolley into a river in a fit of rage (it is retrieved). nish kumar and mark watson write a genuinely beautiful song together. bob mortimer makes a floor-size chart documenting the amount of piss produced across britain.

the episodes end with a live task in the studio in front of the audience. the show allows the contestants to genuinely go off the rails with comedic creativity and problem solving, and it's SO fun to impose characters onto this template. person gets presented with task -> completes task as they see fit -> is judged on their actions -> reacts to the judgement. like if you want to develop an oc. look no further!! put them on taskmaster in your brain.

every contestant, whether it be famous comedians, up-and-coming stand-ups, or actors & presenters, really shine in taskmaster. people who i don't really find funny become entertaining and i root for them simply because of the genius format of the show.

it gets gross, argumentative, tense, earnest, and never ever loses the clownish spirit and light-heartedness of the meaningless and hilarious program it sets out to be. greg davies is ruthlessly harsh with points, alex horne is endlessly nitpicky and often bullied, and they frequently bring up fanfiction written about the two of them for some fucking reason. they embody such perfectly fine-tuned characters, only to break them constantly to laugh at the show.

if anyone (no one) wants to know a few of my fav contestants rn they are:

sam campbell, lucy beaumont, sarah kendall, bob mortimer, nish kumar, james acaster, and the ENTIRE freakish family team dynamic of frankie boyle, ivo graham, jenny eclaire, kiell smith-bynoe, and mae martin

thank you anon :-) i'm sorry this was so long i hope you didnt mind reading it all and it told u what u wanted to know!!

[otomedetective]

Aromanticism and Otome Games

I am an aromantic who loves otome games. It may seem incredibly contradictory, especially since the common perception of otomes is that they are wish-fulfillment games for people to insert themselves into a story where they date attractive men. There's definitely nothing wrong with playing them in that way, and many people get a lot of enjoyment out of them, but that isn't the only way to play an otome game. In fact, many otome game players prefer not to self-insert at all and I’m one of them!

My personal experience being aromantic means I do not feel romantic attraction to anyone, and I do not desire or need a romantic relationship to feel fulfilled in life. I’m perfectly happy with my platonic bonds and my perpetual singleness! That’s how I experience it, but there are many different ways to be aromantic, and there’s no one universal experience that defines how all aromantic people live their lives. Some are repulsed by romance and its overbearing presence in nearly all forms of media, and others are comfortable seeing other people experience romance despite not experiencing it themselves (though these, of course, are not the only two groups). I personally lean more towards the latter category. I love romance stories! 

For me, playing an otome game is like watching a romance movie where I get to decide who the heroine ends up with. It's like a shipper's dream! I don’t self-insert because I am not comfortable putting myself in romantic situations, but by observing a fictional couple, I can safely explore the romantic plots and experiences that interest me. And let me tell you, I love a good romance plot. Especially one with drama.

A comparison I like to make when people don’t seem to get it is that I also really, really love murder mysteries and tragedies, but I do NOT want to actually experience them myself. What I want for a character and what I want for myself are two completely separate things, so there’s really no contradiction! 

In fact, playing otome games was a big part of my aromantic journey in the first place. I never had crushes as a kid that weren’t forced or peer pressured. When people talk about the characters in their childhood shows that they had crushes on, I can never relate. To me, there were only interesting characters and stories. I’ve never really wanted anything more than that. 

So when my second-ever relationship ended and I was wondering whether I really felt romantic attraction at all, I decided to try otome games. 

I chose Collar x Malice as my first game because, as I mentioned earlier, I am a huge fan of mysteries and tragedies, and the premise intrigued me. Then, throughout my exploration of various otome games (and as I quickly became hooked on them) I tried some games with less developed heroines, specifically made for self-inserting, and found that I couldn’t handle them. Separating myself from the heroine helped me enjoy the games more as I realized that I didn’t actually want to be in these romantic situations myself, but only wanted to enjoy the story.

So what was the point of this whole post? I guess just to share my own personal experiences as an aromantic otome-lover and address the contradiction. Otome games aren’t necessarily mainstream-popular, but they certainly have their dedicated fans, and I’ve really enjoyed the interactions I’ve had so far with these fandom spaces. 

Sure, the primary focus of the games may be pretty boys who you can date, but otome games can also be so much more than that! It’s a genre I’m glad I decided to try. 

I’m happy to be an aro along for the ride to read some good stories, puzzle out the right route choices, and look at some aesthetically pleasing character designs along the way! :)

[gunthermunch]

I hope Garry knows if there was an empty night sky with only one shining star that star would most likely be him and if I’d ever metaphorically give my nose to anyone, it would be him. All in the will. Burn the body (other than the nose that’s for Garry) if the vamps are hangry they can have the last of my blood. I also have bought several homes for him (Garry) to have in the future, I became a certified property owner and real estate expert for Garry and the munches. I also bought jojo a little hobbit hole next to the Munch’s residence. Lucas and Max have a cozy apartment and I’m funding Wolfgang’s finding myself journey. If they don’t live in it it’s okay it’s fine they can rent it out, I bought the whole complex if that helps any. I will be hiding in a bush if gunther and Lilith at some point renew their vows.

I can always count on Garry to be either hanging from the ceiling by talons he’s suddenly grown or swinging off of some light fixture and if he is in someone’s grasp he’s either in his own world, growing teeth/gum to skin or being held up by a most likely flailing limb. I feel like Lilith could do acrobats with him in one hand, like casual conversation no pause no acknowledgement and keep a hold of him while he’s just wilding and having fun. He’s probably a goblin or a little flying chipmunk or squirrel in one’s purest form. He has seen wonders beyond comprehension living in that household and I can only applaud him.

Also, I will wait patiently for Lucas and Max’s return. Once that time comes I’m sure I’ll suddenly learn how to properly and consistently with great skill and eagerness, do roly polys. No I can’t do it at the moment and I don’t think I have any real interest in those sorts of sports and expertise but this whole family makes me feel like seeing max and Lucas’ being in that moment when the time comes in real time. Finally, runs around so happy for them, I will suddenly wake up knowing how to do a roly poly and probably my life will just feel better in general with the knowledge of seeing them connect and grow. No matter what path they take, I just want them to heal and come to be happier and happier. I love the both of them so much and I truly wish the best for Wolfgang and everyone else too.

I hope you have a wonderful break I’m sure this is creatively fulfilling for you and a passion project it goes without saying hopefully but thank you for sharing it. Your love for these characters these people basically at heart is amazing, heart warming and seeing a new post from you is always a little box of care, dedication and magic, they’ve brought many people together I’m sure thanks to your effort in making what you post a reality and I truly thank you for existing, that goes for anyone in the world but I hope this just is a reminder I don’t know how to say it the most accurately but thank you for the munch story for what you share of yourself in general and I hope life’s treating you well. If not I hope you feel better soon.

If this even gets seen by you or anyone else, embarrassing truly I wanna run into a wall cartoon style fall to the ground due to impact, bounce right off of u will, this to the floor, comical hanging tongue out of mouth x’s over eyes u get the picture.

I feel so much passion for someone else’s page/story, maybe it’s the autism speaking but I can’t imagine not being able to atleast recognise the amount and degree of care and passion you put into the munchs/whatever else you may post and feeling genuinely glad and happy to see someone sharing and bringing something of themselves to life with such adoration & attention. I feel like a lot of people feel quite strongly about the munch story regardless of being neurodivergent or whatever their background/certain aspects, but in my case, being autistic myself, something that obviously affects my experience of the world, coming across and delving into the munchs and seeing such joy and drive and visceral love that I always feel alone in, in the community in general but especially the part that uses the sims to tell their stories, has been amazing and made me so grateful for being able to see what you and others share. It makes me want to go on and on which I can and do e.g, but the difference being I feel like I’m seeing possibility and gaining an understanding that I can see and find people similarly interested in storys and lives fictional or otherwise. Being diagnosed recently, it’s made this all fit together in my brain more easily why I felt so drawn to story tellers here lol. Being a lover of story telling, literature, thank you for existing and simply letting others see and be immersed with you. This isn’t my first time on anon here yikes and sorry, I can’t do a tldr for something this long fuck but Thankyou. Rest up! 💕🤞🏼

Lucas and Max poster in my hallway !!

Sorry if this is a lot it’s a bit of personal anecdote I hope I don’t make you or anyone feel inconvenienced or like hurt, the munch’s have always meant a lot and with this new step forward and newer revelations in my life they only seem to grow fonder to me. Peace and love, I hope everyone’s trying to treat themselves more kindly

i ADORE to hear your thoughts always !! and YEAH spins you around really fast yeaheyaheyaheya love the mutual understanding here. glad we are all on the same levels of sickness over them