#I’m glad my friends are all out of state bc they never let me on aux but I’m at genuine risk to crash if the music isn’t my own | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

star2fishmeg · 1 year ago

Note

Hi, how are you? How is your day? I hope you are having a good day.I read “Overseas” and I was wondering if you could do that for SWORD leaders and mighty warriors. If you have the time.

ᴀʙʀᴏᴀᴅ

Pairing: SWORD leaders x gn!reader (separate), Ice x gn!reader

Summary: SWORD leaders and having a foreign s/o they kept secret until they didn’t

Warnings: swearing

Authors note: Thank you for requesting! I’m glad you enjoyed ‘Overseas’!! I only included Ice for Mighty Warriors as he is the leader, I hope this is okay! This is my first time writing for him and Hyuga too, apologies for any ooc. In future I plan to include MW once I’ve grasped their characters more!

Request: above!

ʜɪɴᴏ 'ᴄᴏʙʀᴀ' ᴊᴜɴᴘᴇɪ

Most of this man’s life is a mystery, Yamato and Nobaru probably got a board of red strings and photos for him

How he met his s/o is a secret he’ll never tell, but knowing him, it was probably after a fight, probably casually grabbing a drink with dried blood painting his nose and upper lip

s/o likely cleaned him up on the spot, and he didn’t shoo them away bc a) he has manners believe it or not and b) he thought they were cute and why the hell would he say no?

He did smile though! Barely but from up close it was clear as day

From then on, he met up with them until they left, but s/o flies over to visit him whenever they can and the rendezvous continue

This guy is a texter, a rare caller. He’s texting them whenever he can, which is suspicious to the others bc he never answers their texts that quick

One time Yamato was in deep shit and Cobra aired him, but the moment they text? Mans like lightning

He leaked his s/o by pure accident and with the help of his friends snooping. His s/o sent him a package once a month of goodies from their country, with a letter and photos included and Sannoh just happened to get their hands on this before he did

Eyeing up the box, Yamato, Dan and Tettsu sheepishly gave each other looks. It wasn’t usual for Cobra to receive any sort of mail, let alone turn up at the diner. But the way the box was coated in cute stickers and little drawings of snakes piqued dire interest among the others. Their cold, mysterious leader, having an admirer?

“Think we should open it?” Tettsu asked, gently shaking the box to hear the rustling coming from inside.

“You’re fucking stupid, are you asking for a death wish?” Yamato hissed, snatching it off him and gently placing back on the back table where the man in question usually sat, “This is Cobra’s business, and we should stay out of it.”

“Or we can watch from afar, he’s here, act natural.” Dan grinned, him and Tettsu scurrying to the table in the centre of the diner, under the bottle chandelier and giggling like schoolgirls. Yamato rolled his eyes and sat at the bar. Cobra strolled in, eyes darting to the box in an almost panicked state. The boys pretended to not notice, but Cobra noticed Yamato taking a not-so-subtle glance his way as he ran his key through the tape.

Opening the cardboard shyly, he was met with a letter addressed to him, his real name, not his alias. Dan, Tettsu and Yamato snuck up behind him, looming over his shoulders for a peak. At that point his secret was out, Junpei gave up on trying to hide it as he rummaged through the tissue paper for the contents of the gift. Photos of s/o’s day trips and travels, one of those amusingly shitty tourist keyrings you find in the cities, handmade items they’d passionately told him about, a polaroid of the two of them they’d taken on their last visit to Japan and more. His favourite this time was the small Cobra figurine, with a note attached saying ‘punched a man for this like you taught me <3’. A smile graced his lips upon reading the letter, the other bewildered, practically hearing Cobra’s heart thump in his chest.

“Damn, not even we get Junpei privileges.” Yamato whistled; eyebrows raised in shock.

“And you never will.” Junpei scoffed, placing all the items back in the box and taking off.

ʀᴏᴄᴋʏ

Definitely met his s/o in his club

They were at the bar, probably fending off some creep when he came over, getting the guy removed and permanently banned

Rocky introduced himself and apologised and their story continued from there

Gives the vibes that s/o just moved to Japan and was getting to know the area when they found Club Heaven

Teaches Rocky new one-liners in their native language for sure, also telling him about their country in general and all the culture shocks

And he listens to all of it happily, fully intrigued with the way they carry themselves and speak

Oh this man always lends them his coats, and they playfully wear his glasses bc it makes him smile every single time. He finds when they impersonate him the cutest

White Rascals actually had no idea about them until they burst through the doors one evening, panicking about being late to open the club

“So uh…this a thing now or a new member? Companion?” Koo asked for the group, giving y/n a hesitant look. Rocky only pulled them into his lap, coat still wrapped around their shoulders.

“S’my angel. She’s gonna be stickin’ around now.” He threw their legs over his lap, thumb rubbing their thigh. Koo and the others only nodded, focusing on opening the club and worrying about asking the details later.

Despite running late, the club still held its lively state with flashing lights, crisp sound blaring through the speakers, bar busy, dancefloor packed and Rascals serving the people when needed. At the top of the balcony, the VIP area, Rocky leant back on the red sofa, cigar smoke floating from his lips as his s/o melted into his side, legs over his knee and hand on his chest. Kizzy and Kaito side-eyed each other, still unsure of how the situation came to be and where this person came from to start with. Sure, they’d seen them at the bar, how could they not? But what were their intentions with their leader? They agreed, silently, with a nod to each other that Koo would be the one to ask since he’d already opened that can of worms.

ᴍᴜʀᴀʏᴀᴍᴀ ʏᴏsʜɪᴋɪ

OH BOY this interaction did not go smoothly

In fact, Yoshiki most likely either made the most awkward meeting or the most embarrassing one

He’s still cute tho, and his s/o thought so from the start

His shower packed up and the plumber wouldn’t come until the morning, but he really stank and so what does this kid do?

Go next door to his new and incredibly gorgeous neighbour who just moved from overseas

Man is fumbling when they let him in, he can’t believe he’s folding so fast

And somehow, in broken English (because it’s the only other language he knows from middle school), this awkward encounter gets him their digits

And dates, and a label. And amongst all this time passing, not once did he remember to tell his friends at Oya

His stomach dropped at the knocking on his door, eyes frantically looking for Seki and Furuya’s. Both men, looking back at him like deer in headlights, motioning him to answer. Murayama stood up nodding, making his way to the front door, mind screaming at him for forgetting to say something sooner, they were going to freak out like usual.

Opening the door slowly, he peered back before looking at y/n’s bright smile.

“Hey ‘Shiki! You busy?” they chirped, Seki and Furuya’s heads snapping around towards the entrance way.

“Uh, yeah. My friends are over right now, but I’m free tonight.” Was all he could muster up with such a dry throat. Saying goodbye he closed the door again, shaking his head as he took his walk of doom back to the living room and flopping back onto the couch. The silence killed him, so he kept his head thrown back and eyes closed, counting down from five. Four. Three. Two. One.

Furuya and Seki yelled, confusion and banterous hurt in their tones.

sᴍᴏᴋᴇʏ

Pure accidental meeting but he was so sweet

s/o probably took a wrong turn and ended up lost in Nameless City, devastated by what they were seeing

Until they bumped into Smokey, expressing their sympathy as well as the situation

Smokey did help them tho, showing them the way to where they were actually intending to go but s/o claimed they’d remember the route to see him again

They sent letters back and forth since that day, and s/o would fly over to help out the people when they could

Definitely wanted to tell Rude Boys but was hesitant about their reaction and never got around to it

Until s/o visits the base asking for Smokey and the boys stand there, guard up asking why someone looking so out of place wants their Smokey

Drawing back one of the ragged fabrics used as a curtain, y/n poked their head through first before shuffling into the base completely. They kept their footsteps quiet, not wanting to disturb the boys who were gathered in the middle. Yet Smokey was nowhere to be seen. Nerves bundled in their stomach, they’d never properly met the boys before, only seen them on patrol.

“Excuse me,” they called, all their heads snapping around to face them, “Christ- is Smokey around?”

Takeshi stood up and approached her slowly, the rest watching ready for any kind or cue, “He’s not here right now, can I help you though?” Their shoulders relaxed, letting out a breath as they gave him a small smile. Takeshi lowered his guard in return, glancing behind him for the others to do the same.

“Ah, I’m y/n, Smokey told me to come visit him here. That’s all he said.”

“Sounds like Smokey, vague but to the point.” Takeshi chuckled. As if on cue, Smokey’s figure trudged in, a smile gracing his lips upon seeing y/n. He pulled them into his side and placed a kiss to their head, watching the boys’ faces scrunch up or eyebrows raise.

“Boys, meet y/n, my s/o. Y/n, mee the Rude Boys.” Was all he mumbled out before slipping his hand into y/n’s and leading her to their meeting circle.

P scratched his neck, “Okay, why didn’t you say anything before, Smokey?”

“Forgot.”

ʜʏᴜɢᴀ ɴᴏʀɪʜɪsᴀ

This man fully lost to them in Poker at a Daruma festival

But was he mad about it? Not really, he was more impressed at their wits over anything else. No one dared gamble against Hyuga

So when s/o placed their winning cards down, smirking at his face, mans had to know them better

Probably made them his companion for the night, asking them if they’d come back to see him and of course they said yes

They kept this little thing between them for a while actually, until Hyuga wanted them around often, feeling a lack of excitement without them

And that’s how his s/o met Daruma properly: beating them at Poker

“Hyuga, I dunno where you found this person, but this is just embarrassing for Daruma.” Ukyo groaned, accepting his defeat and dropping his cards.

“You guys are just really bad at this, I thought you had experience?” y/n mocked, watching another member stare at their cards intensely. Hyuga’s arm remained wrapped around y/n’s waist, firmly keeping them on his lap while they played.

“No, you’re cheating!” Sakyo hissed, pointing a finger at them. Y/n shrugged, taking their turn and hearing another guy wail.

“Bold statement to make about Norihisa’s s/o, don’t you think?”

“You’re a monster!” Sakyo watched another Daruma lackey lose, y/n taking the chips for themselves.

ɪᴄᴇ

This guy is a festival attendee and a chronic one at that

So, he met his s/o at one of those when chasing them around the world

Gives me the vibes that his personality with music and destroying SWORD are complete opposites so when s/o bumped into him in the crowd, he happily vibed with them

Ended up eating together and finding out they were also festival chasing and decided that they’d attend as many as they could together, talking in between until eventually calling themselves a couple

Ice didn’t tell y/n about Might Warriors until later, he wanted to surprise them with a club they could properly find refuge in

He also didn’t tell MW about s/o, bc it never came up mainly

Ice I’ll come find you y/n How will you do that? Ice Baby I can spot you in any crowd

With strobe lights flashing, bodies dancing in all directions and music so loud the floor vibrated, y/n’s head was in no other place but bliss. Ice’s pride and joy surged through their veins as they relished in his dream.

Their thoughts were pulled back to earth as the familiar sound of a beat Ice had shown them months prior blared through the speakers, swaying their hips shamelessly to the rhythm. Large hands caressed their hips, pulling them into a firm chest and hot breath making the hairs on their neck stand on end.

“Told you I could spot you in any crowd.” Ice mumbled and they felt his smirk through his words. Spinning around to face him, y/n’s arms wrapped around his neck.

“Never doubted that,” they smiled, eyes flickering between his and his lips, “I’m gonna be expecting VIP access.”

“You had it by default, baby.” He laughed, capturing them into a sweet kiss.

“Hate to ruin the moment, but who the fuck is this?” A voice yelled over the music, breaking the two apart.

“Jesse! This is my s/o, y/n! They're kinda one of us but also not.” Ice replied. Y/n didn’t care whether they were a Mighty Warrior or not, they were Ice’s and that’s all they needed. Jesse’s glare softened and morphed into a nod of approval before slipping through the crowd to the VIP lounge.

H&L harem (if you wanna be tagged/removed in future H&L content, comment or lemme know via ‘chat to me bbygorl’ :D);

@straysugzhpe @airbendertendou @strxwberrychocolate @rouzuchan @yuken-gf @rinwhore @simpforchuchu @thatpoindexterpixy @rainisawriter @cheshirecatuniverse @certainbananacollectionblr @tiredlittlewriter

[Masterlist]

[Requests CLOSED]

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romana-after-dark · 1 year ago

Text

The Wrong Way: Chapter 10 (Finale and true ending)

Dark!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Tommy Miller x reader

Masterlist

Spotify playlist

Summery: You are sold to Joel to clear up some of your fathers' debts, and he takes you back to his house where him, Tommy, and high ranking members of his raiding trope stay. Joel is mean, cruel, and hash, but had small moments of softness that confuse you in your venerable state. Over time, you get to know him and Tommy, and see different sides of each, and both are hiding secrets. Was it possible to fall in love under these circumstances? Or was that just another way Joel was fucking with you?

Aka: my mom sold me to One Direction

WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. Blow Jobs, PIV sex, lose of virginity, sex trafficking, past incest, death/people dying everywhere, Stockholm syndrome, falling for your rapist, victim blaming, torcher, branding, physical abuse, rape (not Joel), somno, dub con on tommy? idk he's not really into it but feels like he has to, self-harm/depression/suicidal thoughts (not a lot) but fair warning, major age gaps, love triangle, pregnancy/birth, threats of abortion, major character death, mentions of potential csa/child abuse but does not even come close to happening, forced pregnancy, forced housewife shit, breeding, breeding kink?!?!

UUUUHHH ya'll i put the warnings there so uh you can't blame me for what I've done.

Before anything i gotta say the "id do anything for you, you amost killed me, that was for you" bit is curtesy of me and @the-fox-den messing around so credits to them XD

I cannot appreciate y'all readership more. I cried writing this on and off not only bc the content but that it's over. full emotions at the end!

Enjoy! (this is not enjoyable.)

***************

“Hey honey.” Tommy’s voice was groggy and sweet in the late morning. “You up already?”

You shuffled your body back, closer to where Tommy lay, warm and inviting… you missed him. You missed him so much. “Yeah just thinking…”

Nestling his face into your face, Tommy holds you tighter, a protective hand over your belly. “What about?” When you didn’t answer, he knew what you were thinking of. “Ah… you miss him, don’t you?” There wasn’t judgment in his voice, just the soft understanding that Tommy always gave, a grace that showed he knew what Joel had done to your mind.

Nevertheless, you tear up, embarrassed at your own weakness for the man who had nearly killed you and your baby. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me… he had me so messed up and twisted… I didn’t know which way was up half the time… I felt like I was living in a haze…” You begin to cry, letting the frustrations out.

“Hey, hey now it’s alright. He’s good at that… he’s good at jumbl’n you up enough you can’t see straight… and he’s got that look… something in his eyes when his attention is focused on you… just makes you want to make him happy… I know what you mean… Did he hurt you a lot since I left?”

“No” You shake your head. “That was the strange part… It was… it was good… especially after he found out I was pregnant… It was… it was good, actually. I thought he changed… He didn’t… but I had a lot of freedom, I could do pretty much anything with Lorenzo watching me.” You chuckle a little bit, thinking of your friend. “At first I don’t think he was thrilled to be on babysitting duty, but when he realized he could drink and smoke all day I think he liked it a lot more.”

The smile in his voice was evident. “I’m glad you had a friend after I left, honey.” He brushed hair out of your face. “I saw… I saw Joel a few months back… he said you and Lorenzo had gotten close.”

“Yeah” But the tears came again.

“Hey, hey what’s wrong?”

“I never said good bye” You cry. “Lorenzo… everything happened so fast and I didn’t get to say goodbye and now I don’t know if he’s even gonna live.”

Tommy coaxed you to turn over and face him, his face beautiful in the rising orange sun kissing his skin and complimenting his dark hair. “Honey, listen, Maria is gonna make sure he’s taken care of. He’s gonna be okay and once he’s rested up, I’m sure he’ll come to Boston, or at least get word out if he’s got other plans.” Tommy didn’t actually know any such thing but he wanted to comfort you.

“He’s coming to Boston” You assure. “He promised me… and him and Zach are a couple, actually.”

His face was one of confusion, then realization. He chuckled. “Love really just… finds a way, huh?”

When you look into his eyes… you can’t help but agree. “Yeah, it does…” He face was so close to you, it’d been so long since he’d held you… even before he left, you two had grown distant, Joel successfully putting a edge between you two, and you hadn’t spend the time with him you used to, angry and upset with him for reasons that didn't make sense… but that was how badly Joel had messed up your sense of direction. And yet, none of that mattered when Tommy was in trouble. You’d put yourself between Joel’s gun and Tommy, and if you weren’t pregnant you’d do it again. Tommy was always there for you, as much as he could be… he was manipulated by Joel, just like you were, but still he tried… and here he was, sleeping on a cold hard floor with you because he uprooted his entire life with Maria… for you.

The kiss was sudden, you pressing your lips to his and for a sweet, lingering moment he kissed back, chest rising as he breathed through nose, savoring you before pulling back whispering your name.

“I love you…” You confess, eyes closed and foreheads pressed together.

“Honey, you don’t… you don’t have to feel or do anything just because I’m here-”

“I love you.” More assertive this time. He thinks you feel like you have to, like there's pressure… but you never felt that with Tommy. Tommy wasn’t Joel. Tommy was kind and patient, Tommy was loving and gentle and good… Tommy was the one you loved.

Tommy reached out, caressing your hair. “I love you too, honey, I’m sorry I had to leave you” the words just began spilling out from him, tumbling out Tommy’s mouth like a desperate plea for absolution for sins he never willingly committed. “I’m sorry I never stopped him, I’m sorry I didn’t do more, I’m sorry I left you alone in all that-”

You cut him off with another kiss, needier and lonely, clamoring for a connection. “It’s okay, Tommy. It’s okay. I’m okay now, everything will be okay.” And it would be. You were with Tommy now, and Tommy would keep you safe. You hands wander, trailing down his back as you continued to kiss him, feeling him, getting to know the curves and dips and muscles of him for the first time. Your hands move to undo his pants, but he stops you.

��We don’t- honey you’ve had a traumatic week”

“Tommy, I want you…” You whine, and you did. You did, so fucking bad. You missed Joel, you missed Tommy, your head was swirling with guilt and fear and a deep, deep down ache of loneliness that you didn’t know how to fill other than skin on skin. It was all you really knew. Nearly everyone you had cared about, save for Zach, and Lorenzo showed their love with touch. Even June did, although it wasn’t sexual. Tommy always held you when you cried, sat up in his lap with arms wrapped around you as he did now. “I want you Tommy, please?” You whine. You couldn’t deny that the pregnancy hormones worsened things, making you incredibly needy. “I need you, Tommy”

Tommy sighed. He knows he shouldn’t. The week you’ve had, the year you've had, hell, the entire life you had groomed you into submitting your body to men for money, shelter, affection. This is what you knew. Then there was Maria, his girlfriend who he lived with, with whom he swore fidelity too, who had seen this poor, young traumatized her and willingly let him go because she trusted him… That was the other thing, you were still so young… Tommy had made the comment to Joel that if Sarah had lived, he she would be older than this girl in his arms was now… That should’ve made Joel disgusted… shouldn’t it disgust Tommy too? But Tommy was weak, he knew he was weak… and he loved her, didn’t he? This wasn’t a lust filled rape, this wasn’t him taking advantage of her youth and naivety, they were in love, and she needed him.

“Yeah baby, I’ll take care of you.” Tommy allowed you to undo his pants while he quickly undid your flannel. In the daylight and as he pulled it and the dress over your shoulders, he could see the full extent of your injuries. Where your collar hid, there was a mixture of purple and green bruising around your neck and throat, accentuated by red from the rope burn, and yet the hardest to stomach was your chest. A large black bruise formed on your chest from the repeated punching. “Oh honey… you’re lucky he didn’t break a rib.”

“I don’t wanna talk about him.” You grumble, beginning to shimmy him out of his pants. “Just want you, Tommy. I want you the right way, like we never got the chance to, the way Joel took from us.”

“The right way” He kissed you, lips full of love, offering protection and solace in the distortion. He wastes no time pulling your underwear down and slipping a hand to cup your sex, immediately giving you the pleasure he swore he could your first time together, but you had refused. He felt so good, firm and assured in his movements between your legs, but soft and caring, making you feel special in his touch.

You spit in your hand and begin to jerk his cock as you both laid there, your giant belly getting in the way. “Usually wetter, the last month things have been… different” A bit embarrassed, you mutter into his shoulder. You were turned on, very much so, but your lower body didn’t seem to get the message. Joel never seemed to care much. You got wet eventually, especially after cumming, but the in between usually hurt.

“That’s normal.” Tommy assured. “Pregnancy hormones. But I’ll make sure you’re real wet, baby, get on your back.” Doing as you were told, you roll over, Tommy slithering his way down you and pressing affectionate kisses over your swollen stomach. “So beautiful…”

He ate you like a man starved, like a past meal on death row, desperate and savoring every last taste. Joel always felt good, so, so, good, but there was an electricity here, all the built up tension between you two, like a rubber band finally snapping and he couldn’t get enough. Tommy worshiped at the shrine of you, adoration in the prayer on his lips, his arms wrapped around your legs as you grew closer so you couldn’t wiggle away, he needed every second, every inch, every taste, every sound reclaimed for him. It was a conquest, a crusade, a burning need as he licked into your folds, pleasure and fire and love building in your core, fingers opening up to prepare you to take him, fucking into you and god, you were moaning for him.

“Tommy! Tommy please make me cum, please, I’ll make you feel so good, I’ll do anything you want, just-”

“Lay there and take it, princess, that’s all you gotta do.” His head dived back between your legs and eagerly devoured, lips latching on your swollen mound, sucking noisily, soaking your as promised. Two fingers turned into three, and while his lips sucked his tongue flicked at your clit, causing your legs to shake. You entangle your fingers in his long, dark locks, having grown longer since you’ve seen him last and yank him towards you. You didn’t need to guide him, you didn’t need his tongue deeper inside you; he knew what he was doing. What you needed was something to grip onto as your world shattered around you. Tommy was always who you reached for. Everything you needed, Tommy did his best to provide, and when you were terrified, as Joel dragged you away to kill you, all you wanted was your Tommy. You screamed his name as you did now. Gushing cum on his face, you yank at his hair and fuck his face while you ride out your orgasm on his still moving mouth.

Vaguely, you register him kissing his way up your body, laying around you as he couldn’t lay on top, Tommy kissed you back to life, finding his soft eyes staring at you as you open your own…

“You still want me?” He asks, a rough but caring hand stroking your face.

“More than anything.”

He was careful, he always was with you, treating you like a fragile porcelain doll, but you promised him you could take it and he sped up, fucking you, really fucking you the way you had wanted for months after you grew comfortable in that house. He knelt before you knees on the hard floor but showed no signs of pain as his hips snapped into you, your moans growing louder.

“Tommy!” You call out for him, ecstasy building inside you like the sweat on his forehead.

“Right here honey, I’m right here.” He rubbed your knee that he had braced himself on. “Neve gonna leave you again, I promise.”

“You- you promise?” Looking up at him from this angle… he looked god-like. Tan and strong, but handsome and kind… you wanted him forever, you wanted only him and for him to have only you. He filled you up over and over and over, your hips canting up to meet him.

“Promise, princess. I’ll never leave you, ever. You’re mine.”

His.

“I’m yours” You whine for him, on the precipice of your climax, you just needed…

“And I’m yours. Now, I need you to come, and when you do, I want you to scream my name, okay? Can you do that for me, beautiful girl?” His hand was on your hip, large and rough and covering Joel’s initially branded on you.

You’re panting heavily, so, so close when he sets a brutal pace, spilling you over.

Tommy thinks this is the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard. All the times you called for him when you needed him, when Joel was done, when you were hungry or needed to use the bathroom or just were lonely, none of it compared to this…

You scream for him, crying out loudly as he continues to thrust into you, talking you through it like he had the panic attack that had overtaken you when you gave him your virginity.

“Just like that, honey, good girl.” He coo’s, ever letting up on your sensitive cunt. “So pretty coming on my cock, love when you scream my name… there you go, pretty little thing…”

Tommy was right. He made you scream his name louder than Joel’s.

When he came inside you, claiming you as his in a primal, animalistic sense, the cold began to settle on the sheen of sweat between you, and Tommy pulled a blanket over you. A little rest before heading out.

“Did you mean what you said?” You ask.

He didn't need clarification. Tommy knew you well enough. “Yeah, I did. I’m gonna stay with you, honey.”

“What about Maria?”

A fair question, but Tommy sighed nonetheless. “I’ll send word I won't’ be come’n back… I think… I think she knew, she knew before I ever did.”

When the two of you set out on the road again, you wanted to walk for a while. All the riding the last day made you sore and you just walked to stretch your legs, aching joints and pregnant body needing movement. You and Tommy talked, really talked about the future, what it would look like in Boston, wherever it is exactly Lorenzo and Zach had for you… Someone Tess knew? A couple who had been a ‘doomsday prepper’ before… You wouldn’t live on their farm, but in a house nearby. Somewhere fairly safe for you and your baby, and Lorenzo, Zach and Tommy to protect it… Tommy confirmed what you had secretly hoped but could never ask. He’d be your baby's father, he’d raise them with you, loving it as his own.

“Well ain’t that sweet.” You freeze in place when you hear Joel’s voice, the older brother stepping into sight from a tree, gun pointed at you and Tommy. “Fucked my wife, stealing my daughter,” he looks at Tommy. “I can’t believe you’d sink this low, Tommy.”

The irony of who was sinking low was lost on Joel, Tommy was aware. There was no point fighting it. One hand held the reigns of the horse, his right was in the air as yours were. “Joel, c’mon, I know damn well you aren’t going to hurt either one of us so just let-” He was cut off by his own scream, falling against the horse and gripping his upper arm.

“TOMMY!” You scream for him, rushing to his side before Joel shouts to get away. You want to help Tommy… but you had a duty to your child, a duty you knew Tommy would understand. You cried, looking him over. He was still standing, clearly in pain, but blood shooting out of his arm. Nothing vital.

Joel only looked at you. “That’s right, scream his name, little one. Always his name, isn’t it?” Joel stepped forward, ignoring Tommy’s anguished plea’s for him to stay away from you; Joel’s sights were on you and you alone. Nothing else existed, not even his bleeding baby brother. “Sceam’n for him when you think I’m hurting you, when you think I’ve been cruel, when you want his company because I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH”

You barely registered your own tears, the trembling in your stance, knowing there was nothing you could do.

“That’s how I found you, heard you screaming my own fucking brothers name like a whore in that cabin while pregnant with my daughter!”

Shaking your head, you take a weak step back. “Joel, please, I was scared. I was so scared, you tried to kill me-”

“Is that what you think that was?” A cruel, mocking laugh escaped him in his mania before turning to Tommy. “Is that what she told you, Thomas? ‘Oh Tommy!’” His voice was light and girlish as he mimicked you. “‘Oh Tommy, Joel’s so mean to me!’ Well that ain’t the truth. She’s a cheating whore, and she needs to do better for Sarah, so I’m trying to teach her.”

Out of the corner of your eyes, you can see the visible confusion on Tommy’s face turn into shock and horror. “Sarah? Jesus Joel! Is that what all this is? You’re trying to recreate Sarah? Or is it the picket fence two parent household you never got with her?”

“Don’t talk about her!” Joel screamed at the younger man, his attention turning to Tommy, and you watched for your chance.

“SARAH IS DEAD! SHE’S DEAD AND SHE’S NOT COMING BACK!” His next words… Tommy didn’t mean, not one single bit, he witnessed himself how much Joel tried to save his child, the little girl who was the entire world to him… But he needed Joel’s attention on him, he needed to be the focus of Joel’s anger. “SARAH IS DEAD AND IT’S YOUR FAULT!”

You take a step back.

“SHUT UP!” Another scream from Joel.

“MY NIECE IS DEAD BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T LOVE HER ENOUGH TO TRY HARDER-”

“SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH!”

But Tommy already moved, Joel’s teary eyes and blinding anger slowing his perception and Tommy moved the barrel of the gun away from him and you before Joel took the shot.

“RUN!”

And you did. You didn’t know where to, but you ran for your life, for your babies. Hearing a gun go off again, you stop briefly wondering if you just heard either the man you loved or the father of your child die… but there was no time to mourn or think, you needed to go. 8 months pregnant, you do everything you can to keep running, but you are stopped by a blinding pain in your stomach, causing you to scream before you can even stop yourself.

When it fades, you open your eyes to see an infected.

There was no time for pain.

Contractions going again, you prayed for another round of braxton-hicks and not actual labor, you prayed Tommy was alive, you prayed the infected behind you couldn’t move fast due to one thing or another… but you couldn’t stop to look. The adrenalynn did most of the work, as did sheer willpower. You didn’t think you could power through running so fast and so long if it was just you, but the mother instinct to protect this baby went above everything. Like a blessing, you see the cabin you had stayed at and took off towards it, infected at your heels, horrific noises that you shall surely hear the rest of your life should you survive this letting you know there was no time to even wince at a particularly sharp contraction. They were not spaced… and if Lorenzo was right, and if this wasn’t braxton-hicks…. You were going to give birth in this cabin.

The slam of the door behind you did not save you, as soon you found yourself sitting in an empty room with a chair propped against the door as the infected tried to get in, your switchblade gripped in your hands, as the baby tried to come out.

You can’t help but scream in pain; the infected already knew where you were, it was only a matter of time until it came in and you had to be face to face with it for the first time. You’d seen them from afar of course, but you had never been close; someone always protected you, Zach, Lorenzo, Tommy, Joel… you’re whole life you had depended on men to save you from other men and a litany of evils in this world and none of them had been able to stop this. No one stepped in between you and your dad, no one stepped in between you and Joel, and no one would step between you and this abomination…

But you’d try your damndest to step between your baby and whatever might harm them, and if that meant facing this infected, you’d do it.

When it burst in, you don’t bother hiding our scream; they looked horrific and the sounds were just as bad, but god, the smell was nauseating to your pregnant senses. None of that compared to the genuine fear as you fought for your life and for this baby. The creature was right in your face as you stabbed him, the jackknife now successfully ending two threats to you; the infected and Nick.

The moment you have to breath is gone when you hear the cry of your baby on the floor. You had given birth to a baby girl, just as Joel wanted, alone, with a bite on your leg.

You were infected, and this baby would grow up without a mom and with a psychopath rapist and murder for a dad. Tommy was surely dead, and even if Joel found you in the cabin she’d grow up with Joel. You didn’t believe he’d sexually abuse her, but physically? She’d be lucky if she made it to 10, not the mention the other men around her…

There was no time to cry or to smile, you couldn’t rejoice in the birth of this little girl or cry at the circumstances, you thought back to what Maura instructed you, Joel, and Lorenzo to do in the event you gave birth without her. Using that knife, you cut the cord and tie it.

Had you given birth before the bite? Was she infect? Had all your efforts to protect this innocent been useless? You once again kick yourself for not leaving with Zach any of the times he offered…She’d suffer because of you, if she lived at all.

As your daughter screams, you scream too, loud and anguished and nameless. You didn’t cry for Tommy, for Zach, for Joel, for Lorenzo or June or anyone that had ever shown they wanted to help… no, you just screamed, because there was no other option.

Tommy had seen you run and tried to follow you, tried to call to you, but you either couldn’t hear him or could defier his voice from Joel who was currently crippled with a shot leg… Tommy couldn’t bring himself to kill Joel… he couldn’t. No matter how much of a big game he talked, Joel was still his big brother, and despite the telling signs of aging and the obvious way Joel was no longer Joel behind those eyes… They were still he eyes, and as Joel looked up at Tommy pointing the gun down on him, Tommy couldn’t fire. He couldn’t fire at the man who had saved his life countless times, the father of his niece, the father of the baby he had swore to raise as his own, and despite the way Joel had clearly lost his mind, lost all sense of reality… Tommy couldn’t kill his brother because yes, that was still his brother.

When he found you, it didn’t take long to figure out what happened, with the baby in your arms and the infected on the ground… your bite was clear and prominent.

“Oh honey… no…” Tommy dropped the gun on the floor and likewise dropped to his knees as he walked to you and the child. A little girl…

“Tommy, please, please take her. If you don’t want her, take her to Zach and Lorenzo, just please take her-”

“I’ll take her, I’ll raise her, I swear.” Maria and him had talked about kids before… would she want this? Tommy couldn’t stop looking you over, he couldn’t process that you had been bit… this wasn’t a rattlesnake bite, there wasn’t a way to get the venom out… it was over. “I’m sorry.” He cried, tears flowing over before he registered they were coming. “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you, I’m sorry-”

“Tommy” You stop him, tears matching his. “Tommy, it's okay. Just protect her, okay? That’s what matters now, her.” Everything hurt, and you could swear there was something already changing in you, but maybe it was in your head.

Heavy boots clomping on the floor. “Get away from her.” Joel spoke, his voice low and dark, despite being unarmed. You notice his limp and the blood… Tommy hadn’t shot Joel to kill… and had greatly underestimated what Joel would do to get to you, including walking on a shot leg.

Tommy didn’t even turn around, still holding you and his, yes his baby, because there was no way in hell Joel was walking out with her. “She’s infected, Joel.”

Joel didn’t reply, and you looked up at him over Tommy’s shoulder, confirming it. You nudge Tommy to move, revealing his daughter. You speak before Tommy does. “I cut the cord before I was bit.” Your eyes dart to Tommy. “Before.” You lied, and you knew it was dangerous… but you needed your daughter to have a fighting chance.

Joel shook his head. “No, no we’ll get you help, theres gotta be-”

Grabbing his gun, Tommy turned around. “THERE’S NO HELP, JOEL!” He shouts. “This is your fault! This is all your fault and you can’t fix it!” His steps were long and quick, pinning an unarmed Joel to the wall gun to his head. Tommy was shaking, but you didn’t need to aim to shoot point blank. “I’ll fucking kill you for what you did to them.”

For once, you believed it.

And it seems Joel did too. “That’s my daughter, Tommy. Yuh ain’t take’n her.” But Joel’s voice was weak, small…

“Yes he is, Joel.” You speak from the floor. “He’s taking her, and one of you needs to kill me.”

Both of Miller brother turn to you at that, anguish and pain in Tommy’s eyes. “I… I can’t do that… I can’t… Honey, no…” You knew how badly he was hurting right now… but you didn’t want Joel dead, and someone needed to do it. You didn’t know how long you had.

“I know, Tommy. I know.” You smile sympathetically at your lover, and beckon him towards you. Tommy gives Joel a warning look, but takes the pistol off his brother and comes to you. “I know. I know you can’t and that’s okay. You take he, that’s what you need to do for me, okay?” Looking down at the crying baby in your arms you give her a kiss and whisper that you love her before pushing her into Tommy’s welcoming arms. “I know you feel guilty…” Reaching up to touch his face one last time, you smile as he leans into your touch. “Sweet, sweet boy… you have nothing to be ashamed of, you’ve always done right by me. But if you feel you need absolution, this is your chance.”

Tommy looked at the little girl in his arms… she was so small, so fragile… but he would protect her, he would do right by her the way he couldn’t do to you. She was his baptism, his new life, a fresh start. He was a father now. “I will” He looked at you again.

“Her name is Ellie” Fimly, you spoke it into truth. “It’s not Dorthy, it’s not Dolly, its Ellie.” Looking up at Joel, the hurt clear on his face at the erasure of what he wanted to give her, you offer a small mercy, the middle name he agreed on, named after the singer he liked so much, and your friend back home. “Ellie June.”

Tommy nodded. “Ellie June, it’s beautiful.” He touched his forehead to you softly and you slipped your hand to touch Ellie’s little toes. This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home, this little piggy had roast beef, this little piggy had none, and this little piggy cried wee, wee, wee… “I’ll never forget you, and I’ll make sure she knows about you, okay? She’s gonna know who you are.”

“Zach… please, get word to Zach somehow, tell him he’s an uncle.”

“I will, I swear.”

“And Lorenzo, Lorenzo said he’d be the godfather. Please thank him for everything he’s done for me.” You sob thinking about your best friend.

“I will, I’ll tell him.”

“And Zach, please tell him I love him so much, and thank him for being my big brother.”

“They both love you, hermosa, I know they do.” He stroked your hair with his free hand.

“Tommy, one more thing?”

“Anything”

“June, please, can you find her? Tell her I loved her, she’s Ellie godmother in spirit.”

“Abslutly, is there anyone else? I’ll do it.”

You shake your head, tears flying as you do. “No, those three… they are all I know- wait, Maura and Jack, Jack risked everything to help me escape, and Maura with my pregnancy” You chuckle a bit. “Who knew dying had so many many loose ends to tie up” You hadn’t realized… you had grown a small community. It had taken a village to keep you and your baby alive.

He smiled. “I’ll tell them all, honey, I promise, especially Zach.” Tommy had an older brother too, and a;thought his had turn into a monster, he understood the love of a protective brother, and would not be who he is without Joel in their childhood and youth.

You whisper a thank you, before sealing his promises with a tearful kiss. When Tommy pulled away, you knew it was time…

“Goodbye Ellie, mommy loves you.”

Then, it was just you and Joel.

“I never wanted this, little one.” He spoke, voice filled with sincerity and pain. “I know you think I hate you, that I want you to hurt-”

“I don’t think that Joel.” You deny his accusation, but you are honest. For once, you can be honest. “I think you’re a broken man who doesn’t know how to love, but I don’t think you hate me, and I don’t know you never wanted any of this.”

“I loved you! Everything I did was for you!”

“You almost killed me-”

“THAT WAS FOR YOU!” He screamed at you, but it wasn’t rage or fury, it was wretched and broken and him. A heart broken father who had lost his daughter, and is now about to lose his wife, and if Tommy can help it, his brother and baby.

Closing your eyes, you move on. “You can’t have her, Joel.”

He steps closer, boots loud against the creaking floor. “Tommy ain’t taking my daughter, I ain’t losing her.”

A dry laugh. “I’m not sure you ever loved Ellie-”

“Her names not Ellie, it’s Dolly-”

“You loved Sarah, and Ellie was a replacement. What if we had a boy, Joel? C’mon. Let her be, let them go.” Couldn’t he give you this? A deathbed wish to save your baby…

“No.” But you could tell he was wavering. “That’s my daughter.”

“What’s your plan then? You don’t have day care. The only raiders you could have trusted with her are Tommy and Lorenzo and they are gone. You can’t do it alone… You’ve seen those men gang rape women, you think they won’t rape Ellie?”

“Stop calling her that.”

“You think they won’t beat her, touch her? Even if they don’t, is she suppossed to grow up around violence and rape? You gotta think this through, Joel! There’s no day care, no PTO, you’re two top men just left you, you can’t keep her safe! You can’t protect her, she’s gonna die like-”

“Fine!”

There's a long, shocked silence between the two of you, the gravity of what he’s agreed to give up… You weren’t sure if you believed in god, and if you did, whose god it was… you weren’t sure you believed in an afterlife, or anything of the sort. But if you did… you could be convinced that Sarah’s spirit touched Joel, breaking through his obsession, his mental illness, the delusions he had… to keep her little sister safe.

“I’ll… she can go with Tommy.” Heartbroken, Joel acquiesced, then knelt in front of your exhausted body. “I know you don’ think I loved you, but… just know I cared, okay? I just-”

“I believe you.” You took in his scent once more. “For what it’s worth, I think maybe we loved each other in our own sick way… It was always gonna end like this… ” You push the jackknife into his hands.

“Where did you get this?” Joel referenced the knife with wooden encasing.

“Nick’s skeleton.”

Joel couldn’t help but smile “Brave girl” He kissed you, and you allowed it, wanting to taste him just one more time.

Knife in grip, you taking rough hand and bring it to your throat, tucked under your chin just beneath where your wet faces pressed together, foreheads and noses and lips melding into one as he could consume your soul, bring you into him forever.

“I love you, little one. Always have.”

“And I loved you, Joel.”

“What’s that song you like?”

“Red River Valley”

“Yeah, that’s the one. How did that last line start?”

You smile, eyes closed, and start singing it. “Come and sit by my side if you love me…”

Joel joined in the pair of you singing together. “Do not hasten to bid me adieu, but remember the the red river valley” You’re voice choked up so bad on the last word, you couldn’t finish it.

You think back to the night Ellie was conceived, the night Tommy left, they way Joel fucked you, words uttering into life the possession he had over you. It was foolish to think you could be free of him in this life. That pain? The pain is mine. Your cries are mine, your cunt is mine. And if you bleed?

Joel sang the last line for you, voice as soft as a whisper.. “And the cowboy who loved you so true.”

His lips pressed a final kiss and you felt the sharp pain and oozing liquid leaving you, your gasps and cries of pain stifled by his mouth. Eventually, the warmth of the blood enveloped you into darkness, and the agony of this life you were subjected to since childhood ended.

If you bleed? Your blood is mine.

Joel inhaled your last breath into his, sucking in the evidence of your life with his lips attached to yours until his head grew dizzy from lack of oxygen. Your blood was cooling on his body.

Joel limped out of the room, covered in her blood, only to find Tommy rocking a baby in one arm and a gun aimed at Joel with the other, tears streaming down his face.

“You killed her.” Tommy stated the obvious.

Not even bothering to raise his hands, Joel replied. “The infected killed her, Tom-”

“No.” The low tone of voice warned of something serious, and Joel pondered if Tommy was capable of actually killing him. “You did this. All of this. This last year you beat and tortured and raped her and made her think this was love. Calling her your wife, Joel?” Tommy shook his head in disgust. “I didn’t think you were capable of this, even after everything.”

Joel glowered his eyes at Tommy, not happy to have this talk again. “I didn’t see you ever stop’n me, Tommy.”

“No.” Tommy’s answer was candid. “That’s my cross to bare. And she-” he needed down to the sleeping baby in his arms. “She’s my vindication, and I’m gonna do right by her.”

Joel held out his hands, causing Tommy to step back. “Give me my daughter, Tommy.”

Worry crossed his face. “You promised-”

“I just wanna say goodbye” It was rare Joel spoke like this… so quiet, so soft… But Tommy didn’t trust him. “No, you-you’ll hurt her.”

The way Joel looked in Tommy’s eyes was earnest… so much hurt and sadness Tommy felt like he was actually looking at his brother again… “I’d never hurt my daughter.”

Tommy believed him. “Gun to your head the whole time. You try to take her away, I shoot you.”

“Okay.”

He was right, the gun was pressed to his head as Joel said his goodbye. “I love you. No matter what anyone tells you, I love you, and I loved your mom. She’s up in heaven watching out for you, she’s there with your big sister, your grandparents, everyone. They love you, just like I do, just like Tommy does. I’m gonna protect you still, okay? Jackson is under my protection, nothing bad’s gonna happen to you or your family.” Joel will protect his daughter with his life, and that means protecting those who care for her. Tommy, Maria, all of Jackson. As long as she's taken care of they are safe. “I love you, baby girl.”

Hesitantly, Joel handed Ellie back to Tommy, her new daddy, and he felt like he was letting go of a peace of himself. Nother brother bothered hiding the tears.

“I never want to see your face again, Joel. Do not come near me or my child ever again.”

Joel wanted to argue, to say it was his daughter, and he could take her whenever he wanted… But she was right. Ellie was better off with Tommy. Tommy could provide a stable home, with a mom and a dad, a community to make friends, school, church, and most importantly, safety. Tommy was younger, he could keep up with a child, fight off what he needed to… Tommy was a good uncle to Sarah… he’d be a good dad to her.

“Tommy, wait” But Tommy kept walking. “Wait!”

“SHHH!” Tommy whipped around, whispering harshly. “You’ll wake her!”

As if Joel didn’t raise a whole child himself. “Just… here.” Joel cleaned of the knife and handed it to a nervous Tommy. “For her.”

Tommy glared at the gift. “You want me to give her the knife you killed her mother with?”

“She killed the infected with it, and that’s what I killed Nick with… I used it to ortect her, and she used to to protect… Ellie.” Joel said her name outloud now. “You don’t have to tell her about me just… I want her to have something, please?”

Tommy stared at Joel for several moments. He hated Joel… but he’d always live him. Joel raised him most of his life, and they raised Sarah together. Joel was his brother, always, and the reason his now-daughter existed. “I’ll tell her about Sarah. I’ll… She’ll know she has a sister.” A fresh tear escaped, Tommy wiped it with the sleeve of the arm holding the knife as he sniffled at the mention of his precious niece he loved so much. “I dunno how I’m gonna explain the rest, but she’ll know she had a sister.” A deep breath. “And she’ll have her knife, so no matter what… you both with be protecting her, okay?”

Joel nodded.

“But you can’t go after the others. Zach, Lorenzo, Jack, Maura, got it? They are gonna suffer enough. With this news, just… leave them be.”

Joel agreed, then explained his horse is out front, a quick ride back to Jackson. Joel would walk back on his wounded leg. “Thank you, Tommy. I love you. I’m always gonna love you, even if you hate me.”

Turning on a heel, Tommy walked away, carrying little Ellie, taking off his scarf to wrap around her in the cool weather. It wasn’t anything too cold, the sun was out and shining at least, and no wind. Tommy was dead set and determined to walk away, to never speak to his brother again… but he stopped. He didn’t look back, but he spoke, quiet but just loud enough for Joel to hear. “I love you too, hermano.”

With that, Joel watched the only two things left in this life that he loved, walk away.

***********

Joel at the end, what Tommy see’s as Joel exits the room after murdering little one

Art my @melodymakesart

Continue the story 16 years latter with Ghost of You, Ellie’s journey in finding out the truth

Wow. WOW. I cannot thank you guys all enough for how much support i've gotten on this series. Biggest thank you's to the-fox-den, dinsbaby, foggymoonbanana, primos world, Fen, my dear maura, miraclesabound, not a unique snowflake blog and koshkaj for always leaving such nice comments! (everyones comments are appriacted and loved i just see these guys do it every single chapter without fail.)

also thanks to everyone who reached out about the bomb threat. we are all doing much better now.

I love you al so much and cannot ever express how much the reaction to this series has touched me.

That's right, the baby is Ellie.

I do want to say, that in this series, since reader isn't Anna, this means Ellie can look like anything, no matter the race. It just matters she's ellie and she's immune. Little one isn't a great reader, she's largely oc but i wanted to keep things as inclusive as i could instead of an OC

and i did say major character death ;-; good bye little one. You deserved better.

THOUGHTS?!?!?! shout out to spadesjade on ao3 who correctly guess that little one dies and tommy and maria raise the baby!

Remember, there's still the alt ending! This one will be a bittersweet, happier ish ending.

As always, if you hate both endings, my fics are open for you to write your own version of the end or use this universe in anyway. And if you'd like, i'll add it to the masterlist for additional reading!!!

In the mean time, come read Dirty Little Secret, my dark!joel one shot

LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!

Remember, reblogs spread the work, comments motivate!!!!

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @howaboutcastiel @tidlewav3 @bunnnyy-dummy @slutfortimotheechalamet @foggymoonbanana@dinsbaby @miraclesabound @jenna-ortega @primosworld@marclovers @threeheadedlamb @secretwriterpp @the-fox-den

@bitchyglitterfox @0bsessedwithfictionalcharacters @alloftheboysivelovedbefore @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @lunar-ghoulie @pedritosdarling @dreamonseems @alwaysdjarin @amoramorquetepintas @milla-frenchy

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washoepine · 4 months ago

Text

Hi, I’m here to talk about my ex (again) because I have a lot of thoughts.

I had mentioned before that my ex had cheated on me, was given a second chance with the firm requirement of counseling, and proceeded to try and cheat on me again within a month of saying he’ll do better.

After that he harassed me consistently for a month straight before I had to block him almost everywhere except for his phone since we still had the last bit of the apartment we rented together as the leased wrapped up. That harassment never really stopped. The month following was relatively quiet with him trying to contact me via email, which was largely ignored, a couple of times before he showed up where I live for the third time within a two and a half month period. Sure it’s not a lot, but when your ex had moved 4 hours across state after the first time, it’s pretty terrifying.

Long and tiring story to explain, I was forced into a position where I had to be friends with my ex, who is harassing me, just to get him to leave.

This is where the thoughts portion of things comes in: In my honest opinion, the best thing you can do for anyone you hurt is to genuinely apologize and then step back to let them process everything as you wait for them to reach back out. Because it’s not about what you want. It’s about giving people you care about the time to heal and breathe. The time can vary. For me, it’s going to be a long time before I’m okay and probably even longer before I fully forgive my ex for everything if I ever do fully forgive him.

Instead of him leaving me be he has constantly pushed and pushed and pushed for what he wants and never really thought about if that’s what I want or if I’m even okay with his actions and decisions. Up until this past week, I hadn’t even touched my comic or art in general since mid May due to burnout from the stress I was under due to my ex harassing me.

I had started to calm down this week and get back into working on my projects again, and then he showed up on the discord server I was streaming in while working with friends and chatting. Honestly, having fight or flight mixed with dread kicked in hard as soon as I saw him hop in the call on a server he was never apart of until this evening. Why did he join? Because he saw I was streaming on a public server and wanted to see me draw bc he wasn’t doing anything, and didn’t think about how I felt about it until others said to contact the mods.

I’m glad the mod team is understanding and kind, but I feel awful for inadvertently bringing that into a community where people are trying to work n their comics and talk shop. I hate that I feel like I have to step away from communities that I enjoy being apart of and enjoy talking to people in just because one extremely selfish person wants to harass me and say that’s not what they’re doing.

I’m tired of my ex harassing and stalking me. I’m tired that I can’t actually do much about it either. The amount of stress I go through when even the inkling of the idea of him becoming even more volatile and unstable scares me tremendously. I wish he cared. I wish he actually fucking cared and would leave me alone rather than being my stalker ex.

I’m going to dial back social media and discord use for a bit because I don’t want to be a source of drama and stress for people I have a lot of respect for. I’m still working on Joys and I have hard deadlines set for myself. I’m hoping to get back to update in the next month or two. I’ll see you all around. I’ll still reply to dms.

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runariya · 1 month ago

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what the actual fuck?

im going to be real with you, i don’t like hara/hana or whatever the fuck her name is because she and every single friend of jungkook‘s has no business in stating their opinion, talking behind her back and making it obvious that they do by saying it to her face, making her trip go to shit by adding stress and what not. everyone needs to pipe down real quick and im so serious. just because she choose to end a relationship doesn’t mean she was the reason for a ww3 like the fuck? why is jungkook acting like the world ended why be nasty about it and not be understanding of peoples choices and views? it’s been what? years? get over it you fucker and grow up. im not siding with oc but i feel disgusted that they all choose to be this childish over a fucking break up and have this attitude as if everyone would know better the fuck? then let me be judgmental too hara/hana girl where’s your ring? you out here getting your ass pregnant but have no ring on your hand wassup with that sweetheart? jungkook babe you really thought you did everything you could but how come she felt like she couldn’t talk to you when she had insecurities I thought in a relationship people would tell eo everything based of trust and the comfort they gave one another right? girl bye. the only one who was completely neutral in this story was yoongi even though he was also getting on my nerves because if my family member gets treated like this on their trip who they just wanted to turn everything out and have a great stressful time or even in general you‘d have wished to never play with my family. i promise you that.

im aware that it’s not that serious but if i read a story like this (not meaning it as something bad lol) i‘ll call the characters out if we can even state it that way (?) because i have principles and beliefs that don’t align with the childish ass shit they’ve done to this girl. and all because she was just naive and scared to speak up? that’s insane to me.

ouh you’re so real for all of that! 🤝

i feel you 100% bc i’m just the same as you regarding principles and beliefs and how everyone’s acting is just 🤬👊

oc’s hyper-sensitive and bc we’re just seeing her pov it’s hard to determine what’s REALLY going on. jk’s friends (except maybe jimin who rly just wants them to break and talk to each other) don’t meddle at all, namjoon also told her to just talk with jk like yoongi did. them having a group chat isn’t cool but it’s for a reason!

jk acting like the world ended is simply bc for him, it did and he’s just overwhelmed. contrary to oc, he just can’t show his real emotions as clearly. and i fear he’ll never get over oc. and yeah, he knows he didn’t do everything he could but can’t find a way to undo all of it, kinda? it’s basically their main problem they need to fix if they want to get back together. bc dear lord, if they don’t learn how to communicate properly, it’s just plain hurtful and won’t have a happy ending for both.

being judgemental about hara is absolutely valid, and i’m so happy you picked up that she’s missing a ring 🤭 let me just say it’s for a reason we’ll learn in the next part lol

yoongi’s giving jk shit for how he’s treating her, that’s for sure, that’s also why both are at each other’s throats all the time.

i’m glad it stirs such emotions in you, i UNDERSTAND it sm. i just hope you’re trusting the process and keep reading this story. i can’t promise it’ll go as you wish bc idk what you want it to be, but everything that’s making you livid is for a reason lol

thank you for this ask, i loved it sm and pls let your steam out whenever you feel like it lol sending soothing hugs your way 🫂💕

#fic: CCL #anon ask #anon #Ari answers

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futurequibblerjournalist · 3 months ago

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Hello again!!!!

I don't really have much to say abt Mary bc you did like,, such a good job telling me everything that I could have asked about her! You do a great job with everyone that I HAVE asked about too but you get it (I hope lol)

Do you have any like,, thoughts on Lucius? :0 or Viktor!!!! Ik you mentioned him a little while ago :3 Idk seeing him with your interpretation of Igor Karkaroff is special to me idk

Byebye!!!! See you soon lol :D

- 🍃

Ahhhhh I’m so glad you liked my little Mary rant!! I love chatting about the girls they’re just all so mwah,,,

I have a handful of thoughts on Lucius!

His full name is Lucius Abraxas Malfoy and he was born September 8th 1953 (making him a Virgo) at Malfoy Manor in Wiltshire, England. He’s the first born son of Abraxas Malfoy and only son of Luceille Malfoy née Famelle (she’s distantly related to the Flamels but as you can tell some stuff has gotten lost over the years hence the slight change in the last name!) and he’s the older half brother of Xenophilius. His mother died in childbirth and thus he never knew her and it’s given him a few issues ngl,,,

Abraxas remarried a few years after Luceille’s death and thus Xenophilius became a thing. Hestia (Xeno’s mother) tried to step into the role of mum for Lucius but he never wanted any of that and he was lowkey mad at his dad for remarrying even if he never felt like he should let anyone know.

I think he and Narcissa fully adopted Severus as like their Hogwarts kid just like how Xenophilius and Pandora later do with Gilderoy lol (it clearly runs in the family). I don’t usually base my headcanons off of the mobile game but there’s hints in there that Lucius and Narcissa’s marriage was a love match and I 100% believe that. He gifted her a Malfoy brooch to welcome her into the family I believe when they were first engaged (which would have been at some point while she was still at school?? because she puts it in her keepsake box that she had with her sisters while they were all at school) and to tell her that she was worthy of becoming a Malfoy. I think he placed a lot of values on family which is why I also think it’s so funny that the family he does have he’s like “nope I don’t wanna be related to that freak [points to Xeno]” lmaooo

I really love the fact that he’s a part of the school board. Like I don’t think people talk about that enough actually. Also the Malfoy house being represented by (albino?) peacocks and him canonically having Malfoy manor decked out with rhinestones or diamond rims or something like that in the windowsill. Like he’s so cunty. And that’s before we’ve even touched on the obvious hair care routine and the cunty bow that he 100% match with Narcissa.

I honestly need to think about him more but I think he’s just,, so funny. Also imagining Severus running around in his cunty ass hand me downs is just??? I can’t

As for Viktor!!!

I think he’s so fun. Like,, he’s actually so sweet and people can say what they want I don’t even care. I think he was really sweet to Hermione at a time where she needed it and I think it would have been fun to see them when they were older as like a fun ass power couple with him being a professional quidditch player and her being minister for magic. They’d like,, they’re so mwah to me.

I think it says a lot about how like,, lonely and isolated this kid was when the most important person to him was a girl he’d met a few months earlier. Like he didn’t have a Durmstrang buddy and one could assume if he had siblings they weren’t close and that just,, idk I feel bad for him. I like the idea of him striking up a friendship with Fleur and Cedric though despite them competing and all that

Similar like how I think Karkaroff is actually Karkarov I think Krum is likely Krumov (Крумов). It’s even stated in his wiki that it’s likely that Krum is just like,, an Anglicisation of Krumov. Speaking of Igor, I think Igor was friends/familiar with Viktor’s uncle when he went to school. I don’t have an explanation as to why he has decided to take Viktor under his wing in the way he has but I do think it’s kinda sweet. Me and a friend talked about this once but Igor would totally favour Viktor to the daughter he (in some universes) has with Charity and he’d be like “no no you’re imagining it” meanwhile we’ve seen how blatant his favouritism is lol

Now to the headcanon I’ve probably thought the most about lol,,, I think he’s got some sort of brain injury. This probably sounds a little damn okay but I think it makes sense. I think it makes sense with how much quidditch he plays. A lot of athletes have some sort of injury and considering how he went professional so early he’s undoubtedly played since he was young and I would not be surprised if he took a hit to the head a few times. I think this injury happened during his fourth-ish year (maybe during the summer when he was going extra hard on practicing at home or something??) and he took a Bludger to the frontal lobe and was knocked off of his broom.

I think he repeated a year because of this injury and having to recover (I’m pretty sure his age doesn’t line up with the rest of his supposed peers which is what I’m basing this on but also it’s 9 am and I’ve not yet slept so I could be pulling this out of my ass so keep that in mind lol).

He’s canonically noted as not being particularly intelligent (one of his canon nicknames is literally Dumb Krum) and I think this is in part because of this injury and the issues that followed him afterwards. I specifically think he’d had struggles with reading, both being slow at it and having poor reading comprehension as well as having a poor memory and being prone to confusion. (I also see him struggling with speech at times, perhaps some struggles with grip (which would be especially frustrating and something he’s working hard to overcome given his quidditch position) and since he’s noted as a bit of a klutz I wouldn’t be surprised if he bumped into things a lot).

His Transfiguration spell during the second task in the tournament is not done properly. Even if human transfiguration is a more difficult kind of transfiguration I would assume that if he’s smart enough to cover the basics, Igor (given his own talents with the subject) would have made sure his favourite student had mastered it. Whether this is something he was able to do before his injury I’m open to any takes on. He’s mentioned as someone who’s confident in his duelling skills but not necessarily good at duelling and even though Dark Arts are mentioned in his wiki it’s only in regards to things he did under the Imperius Curse

Also!!! Completely unrelated to me thinking he’s got a brain injury, I am a skinny twig looking Viktor Krum stan. I will always be mad we didn’t get to see him like that in the movies because he’s quite literally described as Severus and Igor’s love child lmaoooo

Can you tell I’ve been waiting to talk about him?? He’s like,, one of if not the only golden trio era character I care about lmao

I hope you enjoyed my little ramble cjfncjnfjc I saved my thoughts about these two for a bit to send something fun your way!!

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everlasting-rainfall · 1 year ago

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Hey! How are you doing? Hope you have a beautiful and wonderful day bc you deserve the best!!!!!! Love you!!!!

Sorry for rambling but...

Omg your animal crossing au make me go brrrrrrr (even though I never played the game). Just imagine the more introvert ones trying to keep readers island isolated! Like poor reader just thinking they are messing up the game and losing people and friends but in reality is the yandere one threatening everyone to keep reader to themselves. Getting more and more agressive with their s/o for closing the game.

Oh god, good food good food. (Sorry to bother you)

Oh! That’s so kind of you to say!! Thank you so very much for saying something like that and I hope that you have a beautiful and wonderful day as well! Don’t worry, you aren’t bothering me at all!

Also I’m so glad that you like my animal crossing au as it is something that I personally enjoy and it has a bit of an origin story as I originally came up with it around the same time that the newest Animal Crossing Game was released

If I remember then it actually started off as a JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Story but I never posted it and I no longer have it, I never thought I would be writing for it again as I always thought I would just keep it sitting and thinking about it a bunch instead of writing about it

!-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT AT ALL-!

!-POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS-!

Sentient Game Characters, Threats, Isolation, Death, Kidnapping

!-POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS-!

!-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT AT ALL-!

I always have envisioned the game as kind of like a rom hack with a shit ton of effort out into it where no one has any clue who made it like it sure as hell wasn’t the developers, that’s for certain

Like I like to think that the start of them game gives you an option that will decide if you get Marine or Pirate Villagers, you can still get other factions but that also depends on what you choose during the start

Let’s say that you went with Marines, you can also get villagers relating to the World Government and Impel Down like things like that with the NPC’s who run the stores and businesses being different too

On the other hand, if you pick pirates then you’ll get villagers relating to things like Revolutionary Army and things like that

You’ll always get two starting villagers too that you can randomize or select from a list, some people like Benn and Shanks will get along well and are good to go with plus they’ll make it so that the other members of the Red Haired Pirates are more likely to move in

If a character has a relationship as well like Yassop and Banchina, if one shows up first then the other will soon appear and there’s also a chance of Banchina even winding up pregnant with Usopp after a certain amount of time has passed

Certain villagers can even live together if they get along well enough and it’ll free up a spot in your town for a new villager to move in, the same thing will happen if your character winds up in a relationship as the character will move in with you and free up a spot for someone new to move in

As you can tell based on the fact that they’re Yandere’s, breaking up isn’t an option and instead you have some normal options alongside some more romantic ones then there’s the one where you spend some alone time with your partner or partners

As I did state before, there is the immersive interactions option which is basically like a switch to make it so that your villagers will become sentient and eventually drag you to their world inside of the console

But if you don’t turn it on then you’ll probably be fine unless one of your villagers decides to go against their coding and turn it on so they can finally have you

Immersive interactions is also what causes your characters to react when you have visitors as I can imagine the game can connect to people who have the actual game like let’s say you invite a friend over to your town and the villagers just cannot stand them which is mostly because your attention is on them instead of your villagers

Your villagers will try any strategy to get you to stop focusing on them and if your friend wanders off with their character to go explore, they’ll be approached and sufficiently threatened to the point where they no longer want to hang out with you in real life due to fear of your in game villagers

One by one as well, if you keep inviting people to your game then you’ll keep losing them and if one decides to stay then that person is going to disappear without a single trace as to where they went because guess who got dragged inside of the console and killed for not staying away?

Try to turn the game off and put it down as much as you want as well, you’ll come back eventually and when you do they’ll be waiting for you and asking you to never leave again

Getting more and more insistent that you stay each time that you shut the game off and leave until eventually there’s no escape for you, they’ll drag you inside and leave the console with the game on the floor

Your save file is archived and locked away within the game files so the next person who plays will think no one else has played it and fall victim to the same fate as you did with their save file getting archived and locked away as well making it so there really is no escape

I hope this response was pleasing for you and I hope that you enjoyed it!

#the rain talks back #minors dni #yandere #yandere one piece #minor dni #yandere male #reader insert

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stevie-petey · 2 months ago

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hi i’m back!! first of all let me just say how mind blowing your writing is????? EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU M FOR THE AMAZING CHAPTER!!!

im so glad dear billy is ur fav ep from season four too because it’s mine too and oh my god. you did so well in making everything fit so perfectly together bc yk bug not being in st is still such a sad truth for me (and it’s shocking how you aren’t in the writers room for st s5 rn)

but anyways THERES ALOTTT TO UNPACK IN THIS CHAPTER !!

steve and bug first bc holy shiti swear i could feel my heart dropping multiple times while reading about them

bug asking steve to choose max over her?? and steve pleading with her not to make him choose max over her and saying

“I’m choosing you, Y/N.” and adding

“I’ll always choose you.” YK WHAT HERES THE FULL SCENE BC IT BROKE ME IN HALF.

[“I’m choosing you, Y/N.” Steve whispers, lips pressed softly against your hair. Your body stiffens, he feels it, but he holds you tighter instead. “I’ll always choose you.”

“Steve…”

“Please don’t make me say no to you.” He pulls away, grabs your face and makes you look at him. You’re pale, tears wet your lovely face, and all Steve wants to do is fall asleep with you forever. He strokes the crest of your eyebrow, kisses your forehead. “Please don’t make me lose you.”]

PLEASE DONT MAKE ME LOSE YOU?????!?!?!?!?!!? just stab me with bugs pocketknife please.

and before that scene i remember the conversation between them about how steve recalled feeling gutted after seeing nancy and jonathan thinking his night couldn’t get any worse UNTIL HE SAW THE LOOK OF HEARTBREAK ON BUGS FACE and how it made him feel worse knowing he couldn’t have done anything to prevent her from feeling that hurt

[“But that night, it just-it really fucking hurt, you know? Thought I’d never feel anything shittier, that my night couldn’t get any worse. But then… I saw your face.”

“The heartbreak on your face, that fact that I couldn’t do anything to protect you from it. That’s what hurt me the most.”]

..AND THE MOST IMPORTANT LINE OF ALL (TO ME) [“And it’s why I won’t let anything else happen to you.”] and i know steve will try his best to protect her if it meant ensuring bugs safety in the end.

sooooooo who’s gonna tell them that they’ve been eachother’s protectors since day one without even knowing it!

these two are so special to me and it’s just so heartbreaking to see them this way, steve feeling so much fear, and anger :(

i understand his frustration with bug bc everyone can clearly see how she’s putting her own issues aside (despite her literally being cursed with the same thing as my baby max) just to save max and that’s not good bc it’s the BOTH of them that needs saving and bug being stubborn about it isn’t helping steve’s current state :( also i saw ur reply and YOU USING a beatles song is so evil and i love it so so much!!!!!

i’m not ready for bugs visions cause ik shes been carrying sm guilt…with the recent deaths of hopper and billy AND OMG THE NIGHTMARES???? dustin hearing her yell out billy’s name in the middle of the night ☹️ dustin’s being a champ rn LIKE i know he’s not showing it for the sake of his and bugs sanity but i know he’s going crazy in his head bc ITS HIS BIG SISTER?? AND HIS BEST FRIEND?? my poor baby is scared pf losing his bestest friend in the world :( i just need my Henderson siblings happy please </3

and lucas oh lucas!!!! my poor guy he’s literally never been so scared and worried in his entire life until now. THE POSSIBILITY OF LOSING BOTH THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE AND HIS BIG SISTER IS SO ☹️i need to hug him.

steve and nance r gonna be so best friends (alongside with the loml robin) and i love how they’re becoming more friendly with each other now like the playful banter im ready! (i know they were civil and were already somewhat friends but still) i didn’t particularly enjoy the love-triangle thing in s4 so i’m interested to see how you’ll be dealing with all of it 😭

btw i’m purposely ignoring jon rn. WE DONT SPEAK ABOUT HIM. (he’ll fall to his knees the minute he gets to hawkins and finds out about the curse that vecna gave bug)

ALSO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG BUT I KNOW YOU DONT LIKE TO CHANGE THE CANON TOO MUCH so idk what your plan is with max and bug…but oh my god the survivors guilt bug will carry…im not even ready. max and bug to me is like a literal reflection of each other and their relationship in this story is definitely my favorite thing ever. i don’t even wanna talk about that one scene where bug was yelling at vecna to take her instead. i don’t. i just mentioned it bc i feel so devastated and unready for what’s about to come.

i read smth about how u said there aren’t anymore disagreements between bug and steve!!! and how the rest will just be sad ones AND CUTE ONES (im holding u to that ml)

does this mean they’ll talk 🤞🤞 i need them to have a proper conversation so i’m crossing my fingers and wishing that we’ll have that conversation alongside with the later conversation between steve and nance (and i believe that it was definitely done for good reasons!)

i listened to in my life while writing this btw and i feel so brave!!

okay i’m done !! i’m sorry this was long but i appreciate your works and i’m in awe of you !! pls never stop being great!! i hope you’re doing well <333 sending u sm love today lovely <3 e

-🌟🍓

dear billy supremacy !!!

and the entire steve and bug i choose you scene ,,, oh boy theres so many layers to that one specific conversation that i simply cannot wait to dive into later. for now, the entire notion of their relationship is that they chose to love one another !!! bug chose to wait, steve chose to trust her, and they chose to fall in love <333 i firmly believe that true love is choosing to love your partner, not just the chemical reaction in our brains, but the act of staying and trusting to be loved in return - THATS true love.

and steve revealing hes always wanted to help/protect bug <333 i love the porch scene. i love tying things together and also just seeing their growth throughout the seasons. in season 1 the porch scene was heavy with insecurity. bug was weak, back then. she didnt want steve to see how hurt she was (but failed). now we fast forward years later for season 4 and shes actively leaning on steve !!! seeking his comfort !! yet shes also standing her ground, doing what she believes is right (even if shes wrong). and STEVE !! he failed her in season 1, he refuses to fail her again in 4 :((

now bugs whole "hey gang lets focus on max not me haha" will cause a few rifts within the group - everyone knows its unneeded, they all hate shes doing this, but they also know that they cant change bugs mind. its very bittersweet and :///

max and bug ,,, u Get It. they ARE reflections of one another. max is fifteen, same age bug was in season 1. its very very very reminiscent of how bug was back then, stubborn and slightly cold but still so full of love and concern for her friends. max is where bug was, confused and scared and unused to asking (or accepting) help. bug sees this and she also is struggling with this. theyve always had a close relationship, but billys death changed everything and brought them closer together. bug feels a kinship to max, she feels responsible for her, and max knows this and almost resents her for it. its messy and very sad and hard and me not changing canon too much will make things even MORE heartbreaking and sad :(

but on a happier note: YES STEVE AND BUG DO ACTUALLY TALK !!! they have a whole lovely conversation later (in the very last ep lmao) that resolves a Lot i promise guys theyre end game i just like drama and growth.

in my life <333

#ask #🌟🍓anon #m speaks #bdyr insight #I LOVE LONG INSIGHTS THANK YOUUUUU <3333

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serafilms · 11 months ago

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just some of my fav content that kpop (boy) groups have put out (very specific!!!)

i spend many an hour on it (like actually just one hour) because i don’t want to work on my wips!!!

nct 127 hit the states: haechan x dallas

HAECHAN SILVER HAIR HAECHAN SILVER HAIR i will never shut up. this and purple and we go up brown/rainbow are his best looks idgaf. they’re just soo cute here and having so much fun and i can’t even believe how fun it looks :(( i wanna have a day like this

nct 127 hit the states: mark x vancouver

such a beautiful scenery and seeing mark be so happy in his hometown w the rest of 127 is so cute. taeil and jungwoo are so funny here too

boynextdoor pretty u cover

SLAYED! nothing more to say. i love bnd performances they ate down period.

beomgyu kids’ café on workman

the editing is so funny in this video PLS and the way the little girls all hated him but the boys were obsessed with him 😭 the café staff are so fun and nice too 👍 i love beomgyu sm

nct dream candy mv

no explanation required. once you candy you never stop candying. the cutest music video EVER i love it so much. nct dream mv’s always EAT. hello future, we go up, chewing gum, go, life is still going on (track video but still cute), hot sauce

txt lo$er=lover office attack version

so creative and fun and they look so good 😋

nct dream rooftop fight

so glad they actually did this bc i was waiting for it for so long 😭 they hyped it up for so many years did NOT disappoint. nct will never not be funny.

stray kids fancy cover

THE WAY I ACTUALLY FORGOT THIS HAPPENED UNTIL JUST NOW WHEN I WAS GOING THROUGH MY YOUTUBE PLAYLIST. omg we moved on too soon

boynextdoor funnextdoor

i’m actually in the process of watching it rn but i’m actually so amazed at how genuine and funny they are?? usually a lot of groups (excluding survival show groups) take a while to warm up to the cameras and talk to them and be natural around them and their members in front of them, but you can really tell how comfortable bnd are with each other and even though they’re warming up the the cameras, they’re so cute about it and so natural and outgoing that it’s not awkward at all and so fun to watch! and on that note….

boynextdoor what? door!

they’re so funny omg also bc why are hybe editors so slay?? will never stop promoting bnd (+zb1!!! love riize too but they have sufficient hype tbh i need bnd appreciation!! 5th gen boy groups let’s gooooo)

zerobaseone zbtv

ok so this list actually isn’t specific anymore but can u blame me. they’re so funny in all of the episodes how am i to choose just one. zb1 are quite literally one of the absolute funniest groups I’ve ever seen. love them sm PLEASE stan before they disband 😞

eunchae star diary with sunghoon and heeseung

EUNCHAE !!!!! she’s so cute i love eunchae star diary 😭 this was more awkward than the jake ni-ki one tbh but it was really cute too 👍 and the way sunghoon kept trying to weasel out the tea from her like leave that girl alone hoon 😭😭

honourable mentions to the kyujin and hiyyih episodes too!! bc it’s so fun to see eunchae with her friends

en o’clock episode 12

the one where they did like the high up line training course thing idk what it’s called and they were wearing camo print like military ish stuff idk man but it’s so funny and their early days r so cute

en o’clock episodes 32 and 33

the irl among us episodes 😭😭

boys planet jelly pop

MY GODDDDDD JELLY POP ZHANG HAO I LOVE U SM. i wish he liked women and was 4 years younger and went to my uni. i purchased many zhang hao pc’s recently. jelly pop my #7 most played song in spotify. i watched it too many times. saved so many edits. ilysm king.

txt idol human theatre when they went to that house

the way the managers lifted taehyun out of the pool gets me every single time 😭😭😭

txt idol human theatre during blue hour era

my fav idol human theatre episode EVER. so funny and i love blue hour era sm‼️

stray kids family 3rd anniversary

skz with wigs will never not be iconic. and why did jeongin and felix lowkey devour acting elderly like???

to do x txt flying yoga episode 83

i love this episode so much actually omfg PLEASEE they’re so funny 😭 kpop idols doing any kind of strenuous movement exercise is my favourite content ever

to do x txt self defense episode 104

this one is CRIMINALLY underrated actually. wdym both parts don’t have 1 million views at least? can’t tell you how many times i had to rewind bc i was enjoying it so much 🫶🫶 i have plans to rewatch this soon so i also can learn some self defense moves.

run bts episode 55

this whole trip starts from ep 53 but them slapping each other’s asses and trying not to laugh is one of the funniest things i’ve ever watched actually,, this was one of the first run bts vids i watched on vlive and it brings me back when i see clips of it 😢

the nct show (nct 2020 but in 2022)

i love LOVE when nct all gets together :( nct 2018 and nct world 2.0 !!!! everything happens for a reason and sungchan and shotaro belong in riize but this video is so fun and they’re all so cute together!! field day episodes!!!!!! this and hybe game caterers fr

007” 00” the nct show

same as previous with extra emphasis on I LOVE THE 00 LINE HOKY FUCK. yangyang ❤️❤️❤️ i need to watch more wayv content i miss him

upper side dreamin’ halloween version behind the scenes

sunoo dancing to mama at the end is peak editing. enha vs ghosts let’s go!!! they’re all so cute and funny in this 🥳🥳 the way ni-ki abandoned the camera man bye 😭

txt magic island mv

words cannot express how much i miss the dream chapter: magic era. how i wish i could find a song that makes me feel the way run away and magic island do. the things i’d do to listen to that album for the first time omfg!!!! anyways this mv and the run away mv make me so emotional like 😭😭😭 also old bts txt lore used to be so confusing to me like i would spend soo so long trying to figure it out

anyways that’s it bc youtube search and sorting history filters are ass so i can’t find many more but i hope at least 1 person finds a new video to watch from this.

#ashley speaks !#boynextdoor #tomorrow x together #stray kids #bts #enhypen #zerobaseone #nct

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kindlespark · 2 years ago

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Too shy .. but I do agree with you on the Cerebrocast not getting QQ 😔.

OMG HI TWITTER PERSON ok context for everyone else i’ve been listening to cerebrocast (who do not like quentin) but i personally have so many thoughts about quentin quire and i DO hate it because he’s the stupidest whitest bitch in existence.

the thing is that i need his story to have been about white trans/queer rage because he literally looks like he has pink hair and pronouns and something something he looks like a walking trans flag with the pink hair and blue psionics and he’s a fucking PHOENIX HOST. YOU KNOW, THE X-MEN’S MANIFESTATION OF FEMALE RAGE??? ANYWAY. its just nonsensical to me that in new x-men morrison chooses their incel school shooter allegory to be…. a punk counterculture radical anarchist mutant who is driven to action when he sees a (implied gay) mutant fashion designer/activist killed in a hate crime. like i just dont think morrison understands politics. it’s a story that demonises leftist radical protesting/riots, and implies the youth doing it are just fucked up/co-opting it for a trend, and are also just super addicted to drugs all the time lmfao. and it is even bizarrer in retrospect because everyone in comics and making comics now pretty much agrees now that magneto IS right. that is just how minority politics irl have developed!! charles’ assimilationist bullshit is long past!!

HOWEVER. i do think there is a way to redeem/fix that and that’s if we think of it as a story that demonises WHITE counterculture. if we take it as a story that’s like yeah, white leftism and white queer/trans rage without intersectionality is just white supremacy. that tbh is what it should’ve been and i’m never giving grant morrison that credit but that’s what i wanted bc my god white gays are annoying and quentin is like such a perfect encapsulation of that entitlement. tbh. i like him so much as a character but if i knew him irl i’d block him on all platforms and throw him off a cliff etc etc

like i think it’s fine to take quentin’s writing in riot at xavier’s at face value bc morrison WAS seemingly aiming for a criticism on how people co-opt politics to be trendy and as an outlet for more personal issues which does happen! i just think the optics are bizarre for that and it falls into wild horseshoe theory shit and i dont think it WORKS you know i think there’s more interesting ways to take that character that aren’t like “the youth’s anger and protesting and counterculture is stupid” especially because we don’t really HAVE any radical characters that arent consistently villainised. and i think people have tried to do that since wolverine and the x-men with a more defanged pathetic quentin who is i think bi now? idk last i remembered christina strain made him lie that benji was his boyfriend in gen x 2017 but does that count? have they said it more explicitly since then? who knows i dont remember either way i think he’s better having been kicked down a few rungs and given growth. i like that his biggest fear is losing his friends/community at school. im glad that ppl have made him more fun as a character now… but they’ve also done that while wiping the political beliefs/allegory out of his character and making him just that superior annoying dude instead of trying to tackle what it does mean for quentin to have a genuine rage and hatred for how the system oppresses and kills people like him. the story implies that rage was never really genuine and he was just acting out but that SUCKS and is BORING because fuck if im not also angry all the damn time about the state of the world! let us be angry about injustice without demonising that anger! like that is why i do think quentin does have a niche following of queer fans bc like for a moment we connected with that rage from a guy who looks like *waves hand in the air* that

also my hottest take that i got redpilled into via one article i read years ago is that i think idie/quentin/evan could’ve been the next insane phoenix jean/scott/logan love triangle. a LOT of work and writing would need to be done to actually make me care about quentin in any relationship but the potential was there and could’ve been great tbh. we’re long past that era now but sometimes i think about how i would reboot that whoooole schtick into something cohesive like it could’ve been a subversive little queer story of colour if watxm volume 2 wasnt just the quentin quire show and idie/evan got more spotlight and if it wasnt completely incomprehensible or had unfortunate art. BUT ANYWAY.

THIS GOT SO LONG AND IS SOOO INDECIPHERABLE SO SORRY ANON I JUST WANTED TO RANT AND TRULY TWITTER HAS A WORD LIMIT ❤️❤️ thank u for ur support ❤️❤️❤️

#sam speaks #answered #this is fucking crazy im so sorry #watxm #quentin quire #x-men #xmen comics

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colapointo · 1 year ago

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Sorry for the unsolicited advice (you don’t have to reply to this) but I’ve been there with the crush and I feel for you. Eventually told the guy after 2 years as I just couldn’t stand it any more, but he turned me down. The worst part is he still wanted to be around me and I let him. We went on as if I’d never said anything but it was so painful. He got an ego boost and I just got hurt over and over again. I was in a state of limerence which wasn’t fun at all. I guess what I’m saying is please look after yourself, things do get better 😘

aw, thank you, anon. my guy said he didn't want anything serious, which is fair, bc i wouldn't want just a FWB situation. i know it'll bite me in the ass when he does start dating someone. we started out work friends (where i was crazy half the time due to the intensity of the crush) and have transitioned into internet friends...we've talked about getting together as we're both still out of work, but it hasn't happened. i keep crushing on an ideal of him, but the reality is he's a frustrating dude. limerence is the perfect fucking term for it and something i suffer from whenever i crush. it's pure hell.

thank you for dropping me the ask 🤗 i'm glad you've healed since then; it couldn't have been easy. i'll get there one day

#ty for the ask :d #vette!crush #personal #why are men #limerence

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icharchivist · 2 years ago

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andddd I’m back! finished the whole thing. it was very good for sure. felt much quicker mostly bc I was not like. dealing with the culmination of probably over a year of hedging all my bets on hisoka’s identity. since I finished the whole thing I’ll be like. loosely chronological but also jump around as I please lol. considering im six paragraphs deep into a fic i definitely did have some feelings abt this.

anyways. very glad I paused where I did bc the moment I heard some random stranger picking on someone and going pretty boy my reaction went like this:

me: hm… pretty boy? that’s not yuki, is it? he would kill them already.. oh it’s azami!!! Oh my god it’s azami!! ah well then these guys are also dead. isn’t he a yakuza child.

and then azami beat them up :) love that kumon immediately thinks he is the coolest… it’s the juza-fan instinct. also love how when sakyo heard abt a middle schooler beating ppl up he’s immediately like ah fuck it’s the yakuza brat isn’t it. I will take this space to put in all of my azami thoughts before I resume. I was so surprised he showed up this early! then again I was a bit confused bc summer and autumn did their road shows together, and I was like… huh, didn’t spring start with these road shows too… how is autumn gonna begin? but nope surprise!! azami gets integrated here instead. very cool and I thought he and kumon becoming friends was done really naturally? like man who wouldn’t like it if someone was all starry eyed about you lol. especially since azami doesn’t seem. used to that level of appreciation. I, like azami, also thought that he and kumon were the same age lol. I did know azami did makeup but it was still so funny for him to shyly visit summer’s opening night backstage and then immediately be like oh u all look horrendous. let me fix this with the insane amt of makeup stuff I carry around. lovely. so very yuki-esque. also. wow, azami, how come you get to have *two* dads you’re beefing with! (sakyo and the boss) I think I am very sakyo-like tho bc when azami makes his phone calls I’m sitting there like ah… that kids not getting mixed up in a bad crowd, is he? he’s literal yakuza. kiri why are you like this. great voice acting on those calls also, it totally conveys the vibe of like angsty teen who chills out and is very casual around friends. I’m super interested as to who that person on the other end is, seeing as azami says he might reach that guys goal first after talking abt joining mankai… another actor / aspiring actor? haruto? misumis younger bro? who knows. only time will tell ig. was a bit sad abt the fact that azami and kumon didn’t have a cg—I think it would’ve been nice to have one when kumon collapsed into him, or a cg of juza and kumon where he’s picking him up… but there seems to only be 3 cgs per story for act 2. what a shame. well ig that’s what fanart is for lol—gotta brush up (pun intended) on my drawing skills! anyways I’m not super happy with azami’s dad lol. let him do makeup you clod. I always joke that I like characters who others are kind of homophobic to but it’s so true. it’s just actually a sign that they’ve got some Gender™ going on which I like. i hope he gets to play soccer with tasuku i think they'd have a great time actually.

moving back towards chronological events… kumon’s fancy gold keychain! love how muku immediately launches into an explanation abt it lol. “in exchange for making its wielded the strongest of all humans, it sucks their life force. it’s a cursed sword that can kill its owner if used too much!” I immediately read into this the moment muku explained it lol. like muku does not say it out loud and kumon is embarrassed about being a nerd but the moment this showed up i was like "oh. this is absolutely how kumon sees himself. all that pitching skill but theres a curse that prevents him from using it." and like. its never stated out loud during this episode but its absolutely true to me. the scene rly made me think like ah. kumons both naturally funny and adorable? like the noises he makes when hes freaked out there r great. i think hes a guy that is naturally a Bit Much and that translated really well to natsugumi stages. i wanna tackle kumon's condition here since it was brought up... again i knew that he was dealing with some kind of recurring health problems before, but not the specifics! and so learning that he was essentially getting fevers caused by stress was very. too real tbh like i dont want to think abt getting panic attacks during my free time. but. no i thought it was really well handled. like how at first yamaguchi is like. hey. its not like u meant to get sick, right? but then as time goes on you can see how people begin to be like. oh he's doing this on purpose to fuck us over. or theyre like. is ur illness even real. maybe you're just faking because you're an asshole. this is weakling behavior. and you can see how deeply that affects kumon in the way that he talks to and judges himself. in the way that he's got this drive that feels downright desperate--like EVERYTHING is do or die for him, and that is, of course, only going to stress him out more. i really liked that even at the end, past the play's end, he was still running a fever--it was clear that the play had rly been taxing on him and he wasnt like, just magically cured! i thought azami's whole magic brush thing was so cute--like, it was so obvious how better it made kumon feel. to me it felt like the equivalent of like, taking the time to put on really nice clothing and cook something special after a major depressive episode--like, you give yourself a nice treat and it helps you believe in getting better. in the same way, i think azami's makeup worked sort of like a charm on him--it gave him the ability to look like death hadn't warmed over and that like. helped him relax because now the guy in front of the mirror looks like he has the exact amount of energy that he wants to have. but yeah. i thought it was handled really well and i loved how natsugumi were supportive of him. the way kumon wakes up and finds out his fever went down and then when hes going to announce it to misumi he finds everyone sleeping by him... so sweet. again natsugumi was just sooo dearly supportive of kumon and refused to let him back out, it was great. when they all hug him and comfort him on stage... that cg is sooo cute. oh the moment juza approached tsuzuru i immediately knew he was gonna give him kumons backstory lol. like tsuzuru knows people well but not That well. i thought it was nice how the way inoue is was exactly like how real life yamaguchi felt--that he wanted to support him as a battery. tsuzuru precog moment strikes again. also every time he's on that balcony writing i think abt mizuno.

well this is probably a good segue to talk abt the play so i shall do just that. this one is literally a direct parallel to real life events so theres not something like... super interesting i can give as commentary there, lol? but when i first watched the play i was like. tsuzuru... where's the "comedy" in sports comedy? watching the play in the actual chapters tho i definitely saw it--it relied a lot on the quirks of the individual players! and that scene at the end is quite fun ofc. was confused as to why it was like. love. but even the og play has hatsukoi in it. ig its abt them liking their manager? idk it felt a little confused lol. but it was a very nice play in some ways... i am like, a pretty huge sports manga fan ahah, so i definitely saw stuff that was similar. i think i've... read 4 different sports manga abt baseball? daiya no ace, oofuri, cross game, and the one no one will recognize, hybrid berry. kumon would lose it if he ever read oofuri, i think... the main pitcher is an anxious mess who selfishly refuses to give up the mound and he and the catcher have a really interesting relationship. the girl manager that is sad they cant play baseball is absolutely a thing in sports manga. yuki was so great as washiyama. like her pretending to be a guy and subbing in for the catcher worked great since yuki can like. convincingly play both a guy and a girl. also the way washiyama essentially blackmailed people into joining. iconic. the associated song was also cute! i thought it was interesting that tsuzuru wrote yuki's role in specific along with tenma and kumon--i guess it makes sense since that role requires someone to play a female role, but the quirks of the other baseball players--uehara as a shut in with surprising athleticism, ohno as a player scared of the ball, and enomoto as a guy always on his phone--mesh really well with the people who play them, dont they? like, i dont think kazunari or muku could pull off the same sense of athelticism. it was nice, anyways. plus if u reach u can parallel washiyama subbing in for inoue and it hurting her hands with yuki + natsugumi trying to leader substitute in tenma's absence.

worst transition ever? perhaps. but now i get to talk about that bit BECAUSE OH MY GOD, THAT BIT. like icha i'm dearly glad i was not given spoilers but on the other hand i feel like i needed a fucking warning. the PHONE CALL. the PHONE CALL!!!! im going to take a step back and comment on the whole situation actually since i didnt even address tenma's first audition. that whole bit was so good. the way tenma's like heh. i'll handle everything. and like as you pointed out, at that point kumon was gonna join akigumi if he passed the audition! but tenma was like. no hes Mine. i definitely figured the audition was gonna go bad--like, if tenma himself was like "i feel like im not there yet" about his own acting? but the way it was executed was so lovely--i wanted to be like "ah, tenma's come really far, hasn't he?" but i think tenma has always been serious about this part of acting--didn't he join summer troupe in order to challenge himself because he felt like he was deficient? so i actually had to reexamine like. why did i assume tenma would be hugely emotional about missing the role. probably because izumi worried about it? also bc i kept recognizing when they were saying "chance" and since kumon just had a stressful audition chance i was worried tenma was gonna feel a similar pressure and cave. but nah. as strange as it might seem, this was kind of perfectly in character for him, i think... he didn't get the role, and he saw someone absolutely outperform him during auditions, and respected that. if there's one thing tenma's learned from summer troupe it's to acknowledge other people and recognize their strengths. so this was a nice extension of that. so all he does is chill in the theater at midnight and relfect a little on his own performance. it was mature of him. i felt like i could see him blooming. as much as i like to make fun of tenma he's been an actor for quite some time--i bet mankai is one of the places he really gets to act like a kid, yknow? i thought it was nice how suprised everyone in natsugumi was--even if they make fun of him, he sure is their leader who has some pretty great acting skills, huh... anyways. to then see him get an offer, turn it down to focus on the play (bc he loves natsugumi!) and then see yuki get fully outraged at him for doing so! that got me! the "when push comes to shove, you really ARE just a hack, huh?!" escalating into him yelling "we all want to support you, tenma!" like. how many times had yuki said tenma's name ever. also like. the way he indirectly says that he doesn't even mean it when he calls tenma a hack. anyways im glad they resolved it. not used to seeing yuki be so obviously distraught. the gifts were so good too. misumi giving tenma a triangle so he doesn’t. so he. “so you don’t get lonely like you usually do!” im going to wail. and then tenma going “I don’t get lonely” okay liar. but then when tenmas like oh jeez yuki another shopping list? and then receives a baseball keychain… if i was him i wouldve cried immediately. like wow. they rly adore each other and will never admit it ever.

and then seeing tenma in france! Almost getting lost! And carrying around the keychain… and saying “…take care of the troupe while I’m gone, yuki.” oh my god. like i genuinely lost it at this moment. tenma and yuki r roommates and they. They care abt each other. like there’s no explicit communication that tenma is putting his trust in yuki specifically but like. Of course its him. Hes the one that yelled at tenma to go in the first place. Id hedge my bets that natsugumi was planning on talking to tenma anyways (bc they rush in so quick when yuki and tenma start fighting) which if we take that to be true, yuki literally started picking a fight with tenma bc there was literally nothing else he could see himself doing at that moment. And the way that as they’re rotating leader by leader yuki is the one that’s like. Kind of nagging at them—pointing out that kazunari could be more decisive, and telling muku that he should probably give suggestions on fixing things rather than like just saying. “We have problems!” like. It is so deeply obvious to me how aware yuki is of tenma’s presence and how aware he is of him. Not being here. But then when tenma calls him! And yuki’s like. Teasing him being like is this a prank call? But he’s still in the practice room at 10pm, just chilling by himself because he’s thinking about what he can do. to quote from my notes during this scene: “it is genuinely so cute they call—AHHHHH A CG!!!!! A CG!!!!!!!” yeah i lost my fucking mind are u kidding me. of course i did. but yeah tenma checks in on the troupe through yuki and once yuki confirms that tenma’s doing okay, he’s like. we’re fine. focus on your work. and then he says international calls are expensive and hangs right the fuck up. like. if yuki wasn’t feeling guilty abt not having seen any improvements on the play u know he and tenma would chat for longer and yuki would antagonize him into paying his phone bill or something. but yeah the just like. the dynamic here is so good. and once he runs into kumon and figures out what he’s gonna do its so good! I felt like. idk. yuki rly pulled through for this one and it was nice to see tenma come back, pleased as punch, and tell natsugumi they did well. It was rly a breath of relief like ah. the leader approves! and it felt like such a success, that yuki and natsugumi were able to handle it. Idk why the phone call got me so bad. I mean i do know its like. two of my favorite characters but. it was just a kind of very understated moment and like this whole sequence is… what? four chapters? it’s not a long part in the whole episode but it just absolutely got me. its just such like a quiet, kinda subtle moment with a lot of depth. Seeing them call each other from different parts of the world. the way they’re thinking about each other and caring for each other. the way you can see them instinctually trust each other after being at each other's throats at first and bickering all the time even now. Yeah.

speaking of shorter parts i loved kazunari’s little side thing! with him realizing that he sorta wants to do a bunch of stuff. i thought the ultra multi creator / UMVC thing was so funny. but it was real lovely to hear just a very normal parent that obviously adored kazunari exactly as he was. this was also how i first learned kazunari was a traditional japanese painting major. I genuinely had no idea. i do think its funny that his lil sis in a huge tenma fan. i think ive mentioned this before but there is a like noticeable increase in quality of the a3 posters as time goes on which i think is really cool. but wow tenma telling kazunari he has like only shallow friendships is truly so. I love that it stuck with kazunari this long but also tenma would be distraught that he remembered.

okay now time for all of the miscellaneous stuff i forgot to talk abt!

azamis voice is refreshingly lower than I thought it might be? but it fits him. I know he and sakyo r gonna be so fun… sakyo wondering what happened bc azami used to adoringly follow him around was so absolutely real. like oh ur his dad already i see. I also think kumon’s relationship with muku and juza r so interesting… muku knows some stuff, but not everying about kumon. and though kumon so obviously adores his big brother and juza has helped him before, the actual talking they do seems like not much. which felt kinda realistic.azamis voice is refreshingly lower than I thought it might be? but it fits him and i like it. i’m so excited abt his dynamic with sakyo seeing as he used to be rly attached… sakyo and his bos should square off for custody i think it’d be funny. i think its rly funny that yuki refused to play baseball bc he was acting as the manager. the manager plays baseball in one of the scenes its like the whole point. loved the kumon pitching cg. oh tenma was so good during that street act they did tho like. the way his va played that… u can hear him loudly announcing the show and stuff and then his voice immediately drops to this soft whisper to ask if kumons ok. so good. again i rly liked azami and kumon’s relationship… the fact that azami was just gonna fight yamaguchi unprompted was so good? but the way kumon is specifically like. dont injure his arms he needs them for baseball rly shows like. just how much kumon treasures the sport i think. very interested in who would azami not want to see at his worst… could be a throwaway convo lol. but i liked that azami walked him home and stuff. muku pestering yamaguchi into taking his ticket was so. wow. he’s rly gotten brave, hasn’t he? i thought juza and muku were so interesting in how they supported kumon during this bc like. they were both obviously supportive but like didnt solve everything? Which was cool bc they were still good siblings to kumon but kumon’s issues still felt like. understandable and stuff. like juza being harsh in the beginning re: kumon joining made total sense even tho like. clearly it ended up being good for him. gosh when juza and muku tell tenma and izumi everything it is so good to see tenma be like. well. its alright u kept stuff from me. kumon is fully part of natsugumi so we’ll take care of him. i just like seeing him be capable and he was so capable lol. also banri offering to be an understudy instead of juza! very sweet. love that he can only offer by antaognizing juza abt his acting skills. also love banri saying yuki will thrash juza if he acts bad specifically… bc banri and yuki r. friends… i also like that this in specific seems to give juza pause. my “juza is frightened by this middle schooler” hc seems legit. oh and i laughed when juza was like. well we gotta be baseball accurate so i’ll bring the clippers. what is up with hyodos and banris hair for real. hm. i also like how u can see the bookcase in kumon and misumis room has noticeably changed—feels like not just misumi lives there, now.

oh and the cute girls skit. best thing ever. every time they did it, i laughed. so i absolutely get why it cheered kumon up. again summer troupe is clearly so good at this. they should do a play. This had more romcom energy then the baseball play they actually performed. like kumon blushing. into mukumi announcing u look like a dog I used to have!! unmatched. and ofc theres juko. cmon… take one step closer for juza in a dress…

I also loved everyone telling kumon abt the troubles they had. like tenma had to be like. I look very capable now but i actually tanked our first play lmao. also i had trauma abt stage performance. also idk if it was intentional but i love how the dialogue when theyre discussing sardine search is like.

kumon: the cat costumes?

tenma: anyways, the third play—

i think the last thing to discuss is the adlibs probably? the moment he was like concerned abt it i out loud went “fuck the fans” so that shows my position lol. but that for sure is summer troupe’s charm. I liked that in the end kumon’s adlib was just like? it was good. nicely in character. good response to. hang on washimiyas bf is MARRIED? but its not like he totally introduced a wild new direction or anything—the guy who started this was clearly tenma’s adlib as inoue. so i rly liked that it was like. competent but not amazing bc like… i think that would kind of reinforce kumon’s idea that he needs to “measure up” and be perfect. but here he’s just like. good at being part of natsugumi. and that’s all they need! i also know kumon originally wanted to join akigumi and i assume that’s bc he loves juza but i also wonder if some of it is bc akigumi is so clearly and obviously Strong. well. anyways for kumon i think being part of a troupe that makes him laugh is the best, in the end. i did think it was funny when the game went “acting isn’t like baseball. there are no winners and losers,” says a member of the troupe that had a literal competition against another troupe where winning was the most important thing ever.

and that’s all, i think! very good story im sure theres things i missed but. very good.

omg that was quick indeed. bUT HELP as to why you think it went faster. And omg. can't wait to see the fic as well!!

let's GOOO

and HELP. the deadly pretty boy middle schooler squad. gotta love how quickly Kumon found him cool indeed. I also love how quickly and organically they started to get along! Azami really does have a lot of Yuki in his behavior doesn't he. i still love how the make up things ended up being mentioned like "oh i'm NOT letting you leave this backstage without some help. you need it." type. eheh loving the way you look at Azami's set up so far! And you're so right this CG could have been so nice… nerfed by the amount of official CG per chapter :/ looking forward the fanarts coming out of it ;D Azami truly does have some Gender going on and yeah. The dad sure is not being good there. AND! hell yeah for the soccer squad this is what they deserve. Give Tasuku some peace also to know that while his troupe is bad at sports he can make his own team somehow still.

NICE CATCH ON THE KEYCHAIN!!! it really does fit Kumon way too much :sob: Kumon is indeed so likeable like, the actor really does such a nice job at conveying just how open and exhuberant he is, but also just how soft he can be. really funny and adorable like you say, perfect for Summer.

as for Kumon's condition, welcome to the specifics! I also really connected with Kumon on this because oof, chronic illness like that is no joke and especially when it's stuff triggered by stress it's just… it feels never ending bc then you stress about being stressed and it gets worse in worse. And even though it's obviously not his fault, the way other people started to perceive his sickness influenced how he saw himself and it really became even more worse and he became so scared to fail people which just meant more stress, so, more guilt… man his story was so effective it made me feel really emo.

Azami helping him out with the brush was so cute :sob: a little placebo in a sense. I do love how Kumon still was stressed but he managed to push through still. a bit like Tenma was still hella stressed in his first plays but managed to push through enough to now be comfortable about it. Natsugumi meanwhile taking care of him and being so supportive is so sweet :sob: Summer are all genuinely so good, and when you take into account all the problems they had to deal with one another… Tenma's stagefright, Yuki's indecissiveness for the future, Kazunari's anxiety about not being what others people would want out of him, Muku's own insecurities and his own history with "failing" his sportsmates because of health, with also Misumi's big brother's instinct kicking in… everyone had made some little work on their side on their own anxieties that i think they could see a bit of their journey in Kumon and went yeah, we'll take care of him, and it was such a good support for them. and DLKFJDLKF Tsuzuru's powers, all knowing, and when he doesn't know, people will come to him to update his character files. but also mood for the balcony.

DLKFDLKF yeah i feel like, Summer's plots could be seen as "not comedy", but in the end it's all about the banter and the way Summer will improvise stuff with their high energy, they probably have more room to improvise and all. BUT YEAH the love thing always was surprising to me, i guess yeah they're in love with their manager but it doesn't feel like it should be the focus?? or perhaps it's about the love of the game?? Or Tsuzuru should come out already and tell us the romance between Tenma and Kumon's characters was explicitly that this time come O- and omg, really ready for the sports story mood i see. I hope Kumon got to read this manga. perhaps he even recommanded it to Tsuzuru? Yuki's character was so fun and it felt so Yuki, it was so great. But yess the roles were pretty nice.

it's a perfect transition no worries AND HELL YEAH. No warning we get murdered by phonecalls like people who cry over a3. I'm so glad you weren't spoiled considering it was Made Just For You, it was so nice to see it shook you enough to post about it also :'D Everything you say about Tenma's audition is so spots on and so good :sob: he's so good… It's in moment like that that yeah you remember just that he is a professional who can accept things going in one way or another pretty maturely, and no doubt summer did make him even better at that. like yeah he learnt to be more silly and more of a kid with Summer, but it also helps him adding new outlook on his perspective. it's pretty nice. AND GOD YEAH. THAT. YEAH. THE WHOLE SCENE WITH YUKI WAS SO NICE. Tenma loves Natsugumi and Natsugumi loves him back so much the gifts scene was also so damn sweet like. god i love those kids so much.

AND YEAH… YEAH. MAN. Tenma and Yuki did come a very long way but they trust each other so deeply at this point it's just so heartwarming to see. No CG of Kumon and Azami bUT a CG of Tenma and Yuki calling each other! We still come out of here winning!! and yeah i totally understand what you mean about the whole scene and the whole dynamic of this specific arc. I think that approaching their dynamic with physical distance showed just how close they have grown emotionally speaking and it was just. so damn nice to see. It was such a nice arc.

Kazunari's little side thing! yeah it's really nice to see Kazunari just.. want more? I think it also shows he's growing more confident in himself that he just wants to try everything now. His little sis being fan of Tenma is really soft, no wonder Kazunari kept taking pictures of Tenma when they met. And yeah!!! honestly it's like, of course quality gets better as the app grows and everything on a doylist perspective because yeah, the devs get better, they get better fundings, you even see it at times from how prettier the art composition of some of the cards become. But in universe, since the posters are Kazunari's doing, it really also bring home that it's Kazunari!! who's growing as well. It's so nice. but god yeah. i love how things really do have an impact in a3? like conversations from years ago still matter so deeply for the characters. It's so nice.

ooh nice that you like Azami's voice :3c promising set up with his relationship with Sakyo and yeah. Sakyo was already a dad, bless him. The Hyodo/Sakisaka dynamic is indeed pretty interesting, like… yeah they're cousins but that doesn't mean they were that close until they started acting, but now they're all together in this. and yeah makes sense that Juza still was a bit distant in the sense of, he's socially awkward and keeping to himself a lot even regarding his little brother. Yuki refusing to play the baseball game while he gets to play later in the play is indeed pretty funny. Kumon's CG is pretty nice toooo, it shows how serious he is for baseball and still how much of his conflict comes from how serious he is about what he loves. (kinda contrast also how Chikage's solo CG was him with his coin, something that shows the way he deceives people but ultimately that he can't keep fooling Sakuya with and ends up being the cataclyst in staying with Spring bc of the coin toss. Like the solo CG tell us a lot about them and their arc in general). Tenmaaaaa<333 Eguchi Takuya always delivers in term of voice acting, and i love how he looks out for Kumon :sob: AND SO true about the Azami and Kumon's relationship and the way Azami was ready to square up for Kumon. It was so nice to see, they have a nice dynamic. Muku has indeed got very brave!! and even braver when he does thing for other people in general (a continuation both of him standing up for Yuki in the first chapter, and how he went to confront the Ikaruga family for Misumi as well) but yesss their dunamic together was so so nice, they knew some stuff but of course they couldn't solve everything… i think it's like, esp with stress, when family tells you you do well it's just yeah sure, that's what family says. i feel like, with setting up Kumon being so attached to Juza, it was important that his arc ends up being about him looking for something /for himself/ instead, and finding good things outside of him. But yeah Juza was just worried :sob: he just comes off as much roughter in general. aND YEAH…. Tenma immediately enforcing that Kumon is his responsability is soft. AND YEAH THE BANRI SCENE. WAS REALLY CUTE. Hell if Banri actually shows he cares, he needs to be mean to Juza to make it work. think about his reputation smh. BANRI AND YUKI FRIENDSHIP MY BELOVED. And yeah Juza still values Yuki's opinion enough to be frightened. More than by Banri at least lmao. AND DLKFJDKLFJD rip Banri's hair. and yeah sobbs it's so nice.

omg yeah the cute girl skit was really so sweet and funny. It's a recurring thing too like, remember when Muku was stressed out during their first improv with Yuki and Yuki went on with the cute girl thing? Tenma roasted them at that moment bc "all they did is change their pitch a bit", and now they perfected it so well that it's Purely Cheer Up Material… sobs. JUZA IN A DRESS WHEN PLEASE. WHO DO WE HAVE TO BEG.

DLKJFDLKF YEAH it's so nice that they really like, work to make Kumon part of the team? like he gets to know the stuff he missed as well, he's up to date with them all. BUT YEAH the transition for Sardine search is really funny.

BUT YEAAH AAH the adlibs stuff were so nice. I still find that ending so funny, i love how everyone managed to roll with it… and very good observation for why Kumon wanted to join Akigumi. He probably felt like it could help him measure up to the expectations he had put on himself, managing to be cooler and surpassing himself physically considering those were the things he felt he lacked. But in the end he needed just to find his own path and coming to term with what he actually needed. AND LDKJFKDLJFKLFD Kumon: it has no winner or loser! Tsumugi still half reeling from what happened during his first play: :). yeah :) totally :) completely :).

but sobss i'm so glad you liked it!! Summer knew to come after your feelies both reminding you of the growth of your favorite characters and introducing a new cutie to the team. It's honestly so nice, and it was SO nice to read through your thoughts! as always, thank you so so much for sharing!!!

as a reminder, next is the event A Springtime Snooze ! Then you'll be able to read the Autumn Chapter!

Take care! :3c

#ichafantalks a3 #aranarumei #ichareply #long post for ts

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slowfridays · 1 year ago

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im actually crying … holy shit. where the hell do i begin in describing how much i love this? 😮‍💨

i am SO so in love with how this was written, and no, i am not exaggerating. each description, each line exchanged did not fail to make my heart happy, namely:

(1) You decided you liked his laughter and the smile that came with it. goshdarn u are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT and this sentence feels like it was MADE for lee seokmin…literally try to imagine anyone else. it will inevitably be him. my god.

(2) the dynamic set between dk and the reader is SOOOO NEAT im not even joking like oh my god. their exchange about “YOLO” and trying it out (auditions) vs resting even for a while???? that was so crazy i swear…and then followed up with dk being so smug and happy about reader inadvertently calling him a friend!!! i could feel his happiness all throughout that scene despite the teasing and the flustered state of the reader, which spoke volumes of how well their dynamic was going to be like!

(3) Too busy saving the world? … ‘perhaps because he sounded almost genuinely proud of you every time he said it’. GOD. fiction is fiction, but goshdarn i want a man like this so so so bad… oh deekay i am forever going to be a spinster bc of u .

(4) seokmin’s right, reader is so cute. as someone with anxiety, i love how the hint of anxiety warning was played into the reader here, in that it was very subtle but all too relatable, whether or not that was the intention. i love the part where she spaced out bc of how she was slowly realizing her feelings and then suddenly being caught by seokmin then being told by shes cute after like. BRO. HOW DO U SURVIVE THAT. u dont

(5) FOREHEAD KISS FOREHEAD KISS FOREHEAD KISS FOREHEAD KISS FOREHEAD KISS!!!!!! the absolute pinnacle it all… changed lives and altered my brain chemistry forever. the initial hesitation between the two, until deekay steps into the fixed…line…set, and lets himself in and takes that risk and goes for it and reader lets him ohhhhhh im going insane. i love how they were initially hesitant until they werent. “i dont mind.” MY GOD

(6) love… is a bowl of fruit. 🍉 gah damn. seokmin noticing the slight change in reader’s mood and calming her down in the process before anything else got standard; and also, him noticing that bc hes just that observational about her, CHOOSES to be that observational FOR her… the way he drops everything to take care of her just feels so very lee seokmin to me, and my heart just lurches so much at this. THEN you even add that as she works he feeds her fruit. like what the FUCK. jail time. that was the last straw im absolutely insane by now. the tea making too??? wow. WOW. and… you know… all of this just to say: me when

(7) The Talk. 🗣️ i love how reader was the one who brought it up like omygod that was so so. heartwarming in the best way. i guess its bc i think that it showed multitudes on reader’s part, in that we know she has anxiety or at least shows traits of an anxious person, and i guess that just felt very human to me? but also: i love how seokmin responded. i love how respectful he was of her boundaries, of her choices, of what she wanted. it felt to me that his love was just that great, coupled with the fact of just how warm and lovely of a person he is. what a beautiful thing it must be then, to be loved by lee seokmin.

(8) ill be in the front row. ull get sick of me. i could never. AHUSHAHAUSHA . OK . ALRIGHT its ok im fine ahahaudhau god this is so ! i know cheesy couples say that all the time, but deekay is a corny man that has nothing but authentic cheesiness in every bone he has. just… honestly, one of the reasons this fic felt so vivid to me and why i couldnt stop punching my pillow and smiling tonight.

🤎 man, i could go on and on and on: but bottomline is that i really enjoyed reading rhis fic. happy tears were mentioned mostly at the end and that is what i was left with as i finished reading thisl i’m really glad i saved this and then read it just now. thank you for writing this; i treasure this one so much. :”) 🤎

Dreamers

Lee Seokmin (DK) x fem!reader

Genre: mostly fluff, with a hint of anxiety

Word Count: 10.9k

Wanings: food mentions. adult language. a few parts may come off as suggestive, but not really. y/n is an environmentalist but not vegan.

[Series: Serenity Street 17] Sleepwalking is a nasty issue. You find yourself in the correct building but wrong apartment, sharing a room with a ridiculously cute boy who seems to find it amusing.

Note: This one goes out to all of my ambitious girlies! Keep working towards your dreams!

The moment you stepped onto the evening bus you regretted the decision.

With a bright smile, Sunny greeted you, rushing to move her bags into her lap so you could take the seat next to her, all while never once taking her eyes off you. Her brows rose in a questioning manner. You cursed under your breath as your neighbour’s usual warm smile morphed into a look of disbelief when you sank into the seat next to her.

With a sigh, you raised a hand to silence her. “I know.”

But she didn’t take the hint. “When was the last time you slept? Did you sleep at all last night?”

“Why do you keep asking questions you already know the answer to?” you whined and hugged your bag close to your chest. “I’m sure you heard me showering at 3 am.”

“The bags under your eyes aren’t supposed to make it look like you have a black eye,” she told you as if she hadn’t heard you at all, still eyeing you in worry. “How much did you sleep? You look worse than Jeonghan when he thought I was mad at him.”

“Does it matter?” You huffed. “At least I’m getting some rest.”

“I think it only counts as rest if you actually get 8 hours of sleep every once in a while,” she countered with a snicker, “which, by the looks of it,” she gave you a once-over, followed by a disappointed a sigh, “you haven’t had in years.”

“I sleep just fine. I’m healthy, I am productive,” you defended and tightened your hold on your bag. “Sleep is for the weak anyway.”

Sunny rolled her eyes. “Sometimes I wonder how you’re friends with me but not Jihoon. Your mentality is almost identical.”

“Listen, somebody has to do the work. And unlike some, I’d actually like my work to amount to something bigger than an average paycheck that barely covers my bills. I have ambitions. I want to make the world a better place.”

“Honey, at this rate you’re not gonna live long enough to see your ambitions come to life,” she grumbled under her breath and linked your arms. “It’s okay to rest every once in a while. Take a week off from work and actually just do something fun for a change.”

You grimaced. “I’d rather not. Messes with my groove.”

Sunny had no words left to say. She stared at you with a wide mouth for a moment before sputtering, “How– How are we friends?”

“Fate brought us together so you could nag me at all possible hours,” you joked, looking out the window now to avoid missing your stop. “But seriously, I don’t need to rest. I love my job and my colleagues and I’m making a change.”

“You should at least go to sleep early tonight.”

“Can’t. I have a big report due next week and I don’t want to miss my deadlines.”

Her gaze hardened immediately as she cursed, “Why, you little–”

“Hey!”

“I’m just worried about you,” she mumbled through a pout just as your bus arrived at your shared destination. With a begrudging sigh, she unlinked your arms and gave you an encouraging pat on the shoulder as the two of you stood up and walked over to the door “Well, I guess it’s your life. But I swear–” she pointed at your face, eyes squinted in a glare; she interrupted herself mid-sentence, “no, I vow that if you collapse under the stress, I’ll personally go and hand in a letter of resignation in your name.”

You scoffed at her empty promises, smiled, and stepped off the bus. You had no doubt you would be just fine and she was overreacting over nothing. She couldn’t wrap her mind around your work ethic and goals – she was built of an entirely different wood.

Then again, you couldn’t deny you often felt a little jealous of her. The nagging feeling hit once again when you looked up to find Jeonghan standing at the gate of your building, his smile widening the closer Sunny and you got to him. You envied that she had found – through trials and tribulations, you’d admit – a perfect man to brighten her days while you had no time to even contemplate romance.

“How was your day, my beautiful lady?” Jeonghan greeted your neighbour with a sweet kiss on her forehead before taking her bag and leading her inside with a hand on her back. He didn’t forget to offer you a welcoming smile and a friendly “good evening” as well, both of which you returned.

“Are you going to the 5th floor tonight?” you asked them as the three of you trudged up the stairs and they made no effort to walk to her apartment.

Sunny nodded. “It’s movie night and he has the bigger TV.”

Jeonghan let out a loud ‘ha!’ and grinned at her victoriously. “So you admit it. My TV’s better than yours!”

“That’s–” She sighed deeply. “That is not the point right now–”

“How is it not?”

Unable to continue watching their lovers’ quarrel, you hummed and waved them goodbye before promptly unlocking your apartment, walking in, and quickly locking it again as if their bickering or cheesy nicknames could otherwise follow after you.

You had far more important things to do, after all.

With a tired sigh, you warmed up some of last night’s leftovers and opened your laptop. The familiar Times New Roman font on your screen prompted a soft groan, but still you squared your shoulders and got to work.

If you were quick, you’d get this done way before the deadline. Maybe you could even go to work in the morning with a nearly finished report! You smiled at the thought.

But life doesn’t always go as expected.

You thought you were old enough to know this fact already. After all, when had life ever followed your expectations? It seemed to enjoy throwing curve balls right at your head.

You woke up with a splitting headache at 7 am, an hour before your usual alarm. It was strange – you concluded so as you stared at the time on your phone through a squint. With a soft huff, you let the phone drop back onto the mattress and your head onto the pillows.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” you then heard a voice.

Your eyes snapped open. There was someone in your room.

The voice sounded apologetic as it continued in a whisper, “It’s okay. I didn’t mean to make any noise. Sorry. Let me just get my shirt and–”

You sat up abruptly to stare at the intruder – a handsome familiar-looking man shuffled around the walk-in closet. Worst of all – he was shirtless. You dreaded to think of what had happened the night before.

“Who– Who are you?” you stuttered out, instinctively lifting the blanket higher against your torso despite the fact that you were fully clothed. “Why are you in my apart–”

Then it hit you. The worst of the worst realities.

“Holy shit, this isn’t my apartment!” you screamed and jumped out of bed to apologise profusely. “I’m so so sorry! I had no idea! I don’t how–”

“Hey, hey!” The man – now wearing a crispy white button-up shirt – walked out of the closet hurriedly, a worried smile on his face as he rushed to comfort you with a gentle hand on your back, leading you to sit back on the bed. “It’s okay.” He let out a laugh. “I was going to let you sleep for a while more. It’s okay.”

You had no clue how he could be so calm about this. What the hell happened last night?!

You stuttered. You sputtered. You gasped for air like a fish out of the water. You were on the verge of a panic attack at 7 am in the morning and he was smiling, all while patting and rubbing your back like it was the most natural thing.

“Why am I here?” you eventually managed to breathe out. You hated to admit that his calm and friendly nature was helping you adjust to the situation.

He raised a brow, his soothing movements stopping. “I was hoping you could answer that.”

When you made no move to do so and only offered him a puzzled look, he shrugged. “I woke up to someone trying to unlock my door at 2 am. Almost cried, actually, but then I heard a knock and Mingyu telling me to open the door, so I did and you…” He gestured widely to his room. “Well, you came in and went straight to bed as if it was your own home. I didn’t know what to do but Mingyu and I figured you needed to rest.”

You stared at him with a dropped jaw. “You didn’t think to call the police?”

“Well,” he grimaced, “I was going to but you really looked like you needed to sleep.” He gave you a worried look, inspecting your face. “You still do, actually. Do you sleep at all, like, outside of my bed?”

“I sleep plenty,” you scoffed and got out of the bed, wiping your face with your sleeves as if to rid it of any evidence that might suggest otherwise. With an awkward look, you bowed and began heading out. “Well, thank you for… your hospitality. I’ll get going. I’m sorry for bothering you. This won’t happen again.”

Before he could say another word, you slammed the door shut behind you and began heading… where were you heading?

You looked around the hallway. It was still your building. You could recognise these hallways even in your sleep. A quick glance informed you that you had just stepped out of apartment 1D – the apartment directly below yours.

You groaned as the realisation sank in that you could never visit the first floor without feeling awkward again. With a sigh, you headed up the stairs to your own apartment.

“Isn’t that Seokmin’s apartment?” Sunny pointed out when you told her of your horrible adventure on the bus home from work later that day. She frowned a little as she tried to recall exactly who lived there.

“Whoever it was, at least it wasn’t Jihoon.” You shuttered to even think about it.

Sunny grimaced. “Yeah, I’d be bailing you both out of jail right about now.” She then shrugged. “Yeah, I think that’s Seokmin’s apartment. He really just let you stay the night there?”

“Apparently?” You wanted to laugh at the insanity of the situation. “I have no recollection of what happened or how I ended up there. The last thing I remember is working on my report in my kitchen and then waking up in a shirtless man’s apartment.”

“Shirt–” She almost broke her neck at the speed she turned her head to look at you with wide eyes. “He was shirtless when you woke up?!”

“He was getting dressed for work–”

“Well, is he hot?!”

You had never wanted to throw someone out of a moving vehicle so much before. “Is this what you’re focusing on right now? I’m going through a crisis here!”

“Yeah but–”

“You literally have a boyfriend!”

“Yeah, but–” She paused mid-excuse and nodded her head in acknowledgement. “Right. You have a point there.”

“How did I possibly end up in his apartment at night without remembering it?” you contemplated, leaning your head back against the seat. “I can’t think of a single explanation.”

“It is weird,” Sunny hummed in agreement as the bus rolled to your stop. The two of you got off.

“Where’s Jeonghan?” you wondered in surprise upon not seeing him all the way up to the second floor.

Sunny shrugged, still deep in thought about your predicament. “I don’t know. Probably causing trouble with Junhui again. Possibly getting on Joshua’s or Hyesoo’s nerves. Maybe he stole someone’s mail or took the hinges off someone’s door. Not my problem.”

You could only stare at her in absolute wonder. “He’s your boyfriend.”

“He’s his own person.” She then clapped her hands together in revelation, stopping in her steps in the middle of the hallway. “Didn’t you say you used to sleep-walk as a kid? I swear you mentioned it over coffee once.”

You nodded. “Yeah, but it hasn’t happened in a literal decade.”

“Who’s to say it didn’t happen again last night?” she suggested with a shrug. “By the way, do you wanna come over for coffee and cake? Jeonghan bought one on sale because the expiration date is today, but it’s sort of giant.”

After contemplating for a moment (more of a debate really, won by the grumbling of your stomach), you agreed and followed her into her apartment.

As the two of you walked into the kitchen, she continued, “All I’m saying is that there’s a lot going on in your life right now and maybe it all worked together – the stress, the lack of sleep, you get the gist – and now you’re sleepwalking again.”

“I sincerely doubt it.”

“You should see a doctor about that,” Jeonghan suggested. You jumped in your spot before finding him sitting at the dining table, fully focused on assembling a lego set. He continued without a care in the world, “Sleepwalking can be a serious issue.”

Your eyes narrowed. “Why are you here?”

He finally glanced up to offer you an amused look and a chuckle. “I’m her boyfriend. Where else would I be?”

“I invited her over for coffee and cake,” Sunny informed him with a kiss on his cheek. “Play nice.”

“Yes, princess,” he spoke in reply before turning back to you. “But I would really go to the doctor if I was you. If it’s bad enough that you wake up in someone else’s apartment, it’s bad enough to warrant a doctor’s visit.”

You felt yourself pale, your blood running both ice cold and lava hot. “How– Why do you know that?”

“It’s the talk of the town,” he joked before waving his joke off. “Just kidding. I met Seokmin on my way to the store earlier and he told me. He seemed worried about you.”

“So it is Seokmin!” Sunny cheered victoriously. “I knew it! I told you!”

Jeonghan raised an eyebrow and laughed. “Good job.”

“Thanks.”

You sat down at the table and slumped in the chair. “But if I’m sleepwalking, why did I go to his apartment?”

“Isn’t it right below yours?” Jeonghan pointed out like it was obvious. “Asleep you probably thought you were going to your own apartment. You just mixed up the floors.”

“So,” you sighed and rubbed the bridge of your nose before meeting his eyes and maintaining eye contact, “what you’re suggesting is that I fell asleep–”

“Yes.”

“–in my apartment–”

“Mhm.”

“–then left my apartment for some reason–”

“That much seems obvious.”

“–and then went to Seokmin’s apartment–”

“For some reason, yes.”

“–one level below my own?”

Eyes widening, he hummed at the slight error in the logic. “You do have a point. Why would you leave your own apartment to go to your apartment?”

“My head hurts just listening to this,” Sunny informed the two of you while serving the cake. As a slice fell over on a plate she quickly assigned to Jeonghan, she suddenly suggested, “What if you thought you were going on a walk and then returned home?”

Jeonghan leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest as he began recounting, “So, what you think happened is that she fell asleep–”

“I’m going to kick the both of you out if you start again,” his girlfriend declared all of a sudden, pointing a knife in his direction. “I’m serious.”

“It is a reasonable guess though,” you decided as Sunny placed a plate of cake in front of you. “I do love going on walks when I’m stressed.”

“Then–”

A knock on the door interrupted the conversation. You watched in mild amusement as Sunny and Jeonghan silently argued over who should open the door and if they should open the door at all. Eventually, to your surprise, Jeonghan relented and got up with a slight groan. The moment he was out of the kitchen, Sunny stole his seat across from you.

“I think the worst part is that I don’t know how to face him again, like ever,” you started the conversation again while taking a bite of the cake. “It was so awkward.”

“Speaking of awkward,” Jeonghan announced and led the newest guest into the apartment. The now familiar feeling of both ice and lava in your veins made a new appearance as you recognised the visitor. Your spoon dropped back on the table.

Seokmin offered you a friendly smile and a wave. “Ah, so that’s where you are. I tried your door but no one answered so I wondered if I had the wrong place.”

“You–” That was the only syllable you managed to voice. Your brain was scattered, filled with pictures of the awkward morning as well as a single fluttering butterfly carrying an obnoxious sign that said ‘he cares’. You gulped.

Thankfully, Sunny stepped in. She smiled brightly and ushered Seokmin to take a seat while she found an extra plate.

“I wasn’t going to come and bother anyone–” he tried to reject the offer of cake, but failed to. He was too friendly for his own good – just like the rumours around the building often said. He sat in the seat Sunny had preoccupied just seconds ago, right across from you, and smiled at her. “Well, if you insist.”

“What can I do?” Jeonghan sighed and theatrically looked away as he started his monologue. “Everyone loves my girlfriend so much. How can I possibly keep her–”

“Stop being melodramatic and come eat, idiot,” Sunny laughed and took the seat next to you. “So, Seokmin, what brings you to my friend over here?”

Seokmin opened his mouth to reply before turning to you and softly asking, “Is it okay to talk about it here?”

Sunny chuckled. “About her waking up in your apartment? Go ahead. I think everyone in the building knows already.”

“Oh.” He offered you an awkward-looking smile. “Well, sorry about that. I only mentioned it to Mingyu and Jeonghan but I guess– Nevermind. I just wanted to tell you to not worry about it.” His smile brightened, genuine and full of warmth all of a sudden. “We all have rough days – and rough nights – and I’m just glad you got some rest.”

“I have one question,” Jeonghan raised his arm before asking, “where did you sleep?”

“Me?” Seokmin shrugged. “The sofa. There was a woman in my bed.”

You somehow felt both worse and better than before. At least you knew he didn’t hold a grudge – after all, he seeked you out just to tell you it had been fine – but at the same time: you made this poor man sleep on the sofa instead of his objectively comfortable bed.

“I’m so sorry–”

“I said it’s fine,” he laughed and reached out to pat your hand. “I really don’t mind. You looked like you were sleeping very well. But–” he tilted his head in thought, a slight frown appearing, “–is it possible you were sleepwalking? You didn’t react at all last night, to anything. You just… brushed past us like we weren’t even there. I don’t know if you even had your eyes open.”

Sunny all but slammed her spoon on the table to give you a haughty look. “Yep. Told you. You were sleepwalking.”

You frowned. “I guess it’s possible.”

“Should I…” Seokmin scrunched up his nose in thought. “Should I maybe keep a look out in case this happens again?”

Immediately you shook your head. “No. No need. It was a one-time thing. A fluke. It was nothing. Won’t happen again.” In your attempts to not look at him, you happened to eye the clock. Your jaw dropped. “Oh. I should go home. I have–”

“–a report due in a week and deadlines to meet,” Sunny finished for you with a laugh. “I know, I know. Go.”

Jeonghan spoke up as well, “Take the plate and another slice of cake before you go. I want to know you eat at least a little between your work.”

You did as you were told and made your escape without another word, not even a goodbye to Seokmin.

You had no time to feel guilty or consider that your heart fluttered a little at the thought of him coming to find you. Once again, you buried your feelings into lines of Times New Roman in your report.

“Oh, you come here too?” you heard his voice just two days later at the grocery store.

It was a little surprising to find him there: the store was a good mile further from the one closest to your building. Like a startled owl, you stared and blinked at him in the cereal aisle.

As you opened your mouth to respond, he chuckled and looked away at the cereals. “Don’t worry. You don’t have to talk to me. I just needed to get some Fruit Loops and figured I might as well say hi.” He placed the cereal in question into his basket and offered you one more friendly smile and a playful wave. “So, hi!”

“Hi,” you managed to drag out as you lifted your hand in a wave.

With a chuckle, he turned and headed away to the next aisle. You thought you were free from him for the day.

But alas: you found him again when you went to get eggs. He seemed to be contemplating between two brands. You tried your best to go unnoticed as you searched for your favourite local free range brand. To you dismay, he stood right in front of the eggs you seeked.

“Excuse me,” you started and tapped his shoulder when he didn’t seem to notice.

He smiled upon recognising you. “Yeah?”

“Could you move? I want those eggs.”

“The expensive ones?” He raised an eyebrow and handed you a carton. “They’re almost triple the price of the store brand.”

“But they’re free range and locally sourced. You should try them,” you explained with the slightest bit of enthusiasm before placing eggs into your cart and walking away in the direction you thought him least likely to follow.

You truly thought you were free of him when you went to the checkout, but once again, as if tasked by god himself to be wherever you went, Seokmin was in front of you in queue, meticulously placing his items on the counter. As he turned to put away his basket, his eyes found yours and a bright smile appeared on his face. “Oh, it’s you again!”

“It’s me again,” you replied with an awkward laugh.

“Are you leaving too?” he wondered while fishing his bag for his wallet. When you nodded, his eyes lit up. “Do you need a ride home?”

Your eyes widened. “A ride?”

Why was he offering you a ride home? Why was he so friendly with you at all? You had broken into his apartment – in the eyes of the legal system anyway – and he was smiling at you like you were a beloved friend.

“Of course. We should stick together, no? We’re neighbours, after all– Hold on,” he interrupted himself to respond to the cashier, “Yes, by card please.Thank you.”

“You might have to wait a moment then,” you finally relented when he turned to you once again, eyes resembling a puppy. His smile widened at your words and he nodded.

The ride home was short and awkward. You greatly feared he would try to retaliate for the emotional damage you might’ve caused by sleeping in his apartment. To your relief, he did not such thing and only continued cheerfully chattering.

“–but I feel like a dog would be too much work, you know? I love dogs but I don’t have that kind of time.” He offered you a glance. “Do you have any pets?”

You scrunched up your face in thought as the car rolled to a stop in the parking lot of the building. “I have a cactus.”

“... Does it have a name?”

Eager to not disappoint, you blurted out the first name that came to mind: “Bertha.” You shut your eyes in shame.

But as the two of you got out of his small red car, he laughed. “Bertha? Sounds lovely. Is she high-maintenance?”

“Very.”

“Yeah?”

You decided you liked his laughter and the bright smile that came with. “Easier than a dog though.”

He laughed louder at that and handed you your grocery bags. “I bet. Maybe I should get a cactus too.”

“I highly recommend,” you chuckled, finding his laughter contagious. “It’s very fulfilling to watch it do absolutely nothing all-year-round.”

When the two of you got into the hallway, he paused in front of the staircase. As you were about to ask him about it, he asked, “Do you need help with your bags?”

“No, I’m–”

“They look heavy.” He frowned before holding up a single finger, jogging over to his door, dropping his singular bag in front of it, and running back to you. Before you could formally protest, he grabbed the bags from your hands and began the journey up the stairs. When you froze in your spot, he turned to ask, “Well, aren’t you coming? Or were you going to sleep at mine again?”

Your face burned at the teasing comment. You decided following after him was the lesser evil.

“There we go,” he cheered when the two of you reached your door. He rubbed his hands against his thighs a few times, awkwardly like a schoolboy, before smiling and waving goodbye. “I guess this is goodbye for the day. It was nice talking to you.”

You didn’t manage to even thank him before he was already halfway down the stairs. Maybe you made him as nervous as you made him. As you went to sleep that night, you replayed the interaction over and over again in your head, failing to hide a smile at the memory.

The valley of the mattress had a hold over you. You had never been so comfortable waking up – well, with the exception of maybe once or twice.

The pillows were the perfect temperature, the blanket hugged you just right, the big teddy bear you hugged to your chest smelled fresh out of the washing machine–

“Since when do I have a teddy bear?” you grumbled in confusion and pried your eyes open. You felt all blood rush away from your face as you looked at the bear – light brown with a baby blue bow, its eyes shining up at you.

You had never even seen this bear before.

Cursing under your breath, you glanced around the room. You were back in your very own personal hell full of flowing beige curtains, white unfamiliar sheets, and teddy bears: the hell known as Seokmin’s apartment.

The realisation brought tears of frustration to your eyes, but you were too stubborn to let them loose. It was barely 8 am but you were already on the verge of crying – what a joke.

Wiping your eyes, you all but slammed the bear down on the bed (you’ll never admit you did feel a little bad about it seconds later and gave it a little pat on the head) and stood up. You stumbled out of the bedroom and towards the front door.

As you reached for the doorknob – the final obstacle on your journey out of hell –, you heard his voice, sweet as honey like always, “Oh, you’re not going to stay for breakfast?”

You froze.

“I made extra waffles and all,” he added, sounding a little dejected. You didn’t have the heart to tell him no, so you sighed softly and turned around to give him a tight-lipped not-quite-genuine smile. His own grin brightened at the sight. “Is that a yes? You’ll stay?”

“Only for the waffles,” you lied and took a seat at his table.

He laughed and placed a plate of fresh food in front of you before taking the seat across from you. “Not because you don’t want me to feel bad?”

“No,” you grabbed a fork and began filling it with food, “I just don’t like food waste.”

“Oh, right! Minghao said you work for an environmental company. That sounds cool.”

“Yeah?” You swallowed your food. “What about you? What do you do for work?”

He cleared his throat as though the question had caught him by surprise and he was too shy to say. After a moment of silence, he bashfully admitted, “I’m a music teacher at primary school.”

You blinked in surprise. “A music teacher?”

“Well, I wanted to be a singer– a musical actor, actually,” he explained, his voice fluctuating in volume and his ears bright red, “but I’m a little too shy to audition. So I just stuck with teaching others to sing.”

“That’s so cool though,” you told him with a smile. “Are you good at singing?”

His ears seemed to turn an even deeper red. “My friends think so but I don’t know. I think there’s still a lot of room for improvement.”

“Then why not audition? You only live once.”

He seemed thoughtful all of a sudden, watching your increasingly awkward self. You were just about ready to apologise for your possibly intrusive question when he softly asked, “Why not rest and live a little? You only live once, right?”

The question felt awfully pointed and you didn’t fail to let him know with a glare.

“I’m serious,” he declared, his lips pouting a little as if he was actually upset at your lack of self-care. “Whenever I see you, you’re always rushing somewhere. The only person you seem to be friends with is Sunny, and maybe Jeonghan by association.”

You opened your mouth to defend yourself. “I’m also friends with Minghao–”

“He barely even leaves his apartment. He doesn’t count.”

“He counts!”

“Do I count?”

“Of course you–” Your eyes widened as did his smile.

“We’re friends now!” he declared while pointing an accusatory finger at you, his voice raising in excitement. You began to protest but he was having none of it. “No take-backs! We’re friends – you just said so!”

“I didn’t actually–”

“Nope. No. We’re friends.” He narrowed his eyes at you, his smile never fading. “Or do you just sleep in random guys’ beds?”

You wanted to protest, you really did, but there’s only so much you can say to defend yourself against such accusations. Besides, his bright smile at your defeated nod could’ve won awards.

Accidentally waking in his apartment didn’t end. No. In fact, it somehow got worse.

Once every week quickly turned into once every few days. You were tempted to start keeping track of how often you woke up in your own bed but one could assume the numbers wouldn’t be too impressive.

You grew accustomed to the smell of his detergent and the smell of breakfast in the mornings. Was this what it might’ve been like to be in a relationship?

“How come you’ve never dated anyone?” he wondered once over breakfast.

You shrugged. “I don’t have the time.”

“Too busy saving the world?” he teased like he often did. Over time you stopped finding it annoying (perhaps because he sounded almost genuinely proud of you every time he said it).

“I assume you don’t get a lot of dates either,” you bit right back between bites of pancakes.

He seemed to be taken aback by your observation. “What makes you think that?”

“You sleep with a teddy bear, Seokmin,” you deadpanned.

He pouted. “Fluffy is a premium sleep companion.”

You laughed. “Is he?”

“You steal him every other night!” he accused with a chuckle. “I’m sure you know how great he is by now.”

“He’s truly a– What did you say? A premium sleep companion?”

“That’s what the label said when I got him.”

“Maybe I should invest in a bear too,” you wondered thoughtfully between bites.

Seokmin raised an eyebrow. “Then why don’t you?”

“No ti–”

“If you make the ‘no time’ excuse again, I will scream,” he said with in utmost seriousness. You promptly shut up: Seokmin’s lung capacity was well-known by everyone in the building.

After a moment of silence, he cleared his throat. “You know, if it’s physical contact that you need to sleep– Nevermind. How are the pancakes?”

Whether it was to save your or his dignity, you chose to ignore his first comment and answered only the last question, “Their colour is nicer than usual. I like the golden colour.”

“I guess the free range eggs really do make a difference,” Seokmin mused with a chuckle. When you offered him a surprised look, he hummed in confusion. “What?”

“You bought free range eggs? Didn’t you say they were too expensive last time?”

He shrugged. “I figured I might as well try to make some more ethical choices while shopping. Besides, you recommended them–”

Your eyes welled up a little. “You bought more expensive eggs because I recommended them?”

“And because I care for animals,” he added in a little too fast.

You laughed and nodded. “For the animals, right. Me too.”

“Do you ever rest from your work?” he wondered after a moment. “What do you do outside of it?”

“I… don’t know. I read. I like to clean.”

“But what about going to festivals? Swimming? Cycling? Dancing?” He grew more and more desperate as you rejected every hobby he offered. “No wonder you’re so tired all of the time! You’re a workaholic.”

You snorted. “Sunny did say I’m similar to Jihoon.”

“I didn’t think it was this bad.”

“I think he’s worse though.”

“Oh, definitely, but he doesn’t go to sleep in his neighbours’ beds,” Seokmin pointed out with a look of worry. As he watched you for an exactly uncomfortable amount of time, his eyes eventually lit up again. “I have an idea. What are you doing tomorrow evening?”

“Working–”

“I swear if I hear that word one more time, I will scream.”

You, once again, promptly shut up.

“Great,” he beamed and clapped his hands together, “I’ll text you to details later.”

“You’re not even going to tell me what we’re doing?”

You sighed in disappointment as he smiled brightly and shook his head ‘no’.

A knock on your door notified you of his arrival. Despite being sure it wasn’t meant to be a date and knowing that Seokmin had seen you in far worse condition, you still took a deep breath and gave yourself a quick once-over at the mirror.

When you opened the door, he smiled at you brightly. “I see you’ve dressed up too.”

“I would hardly call this dressed up,” you told him rather sheepishly, suddenly even more aware of you appearance. “You look very dapper as well.”

“Yep, and do you want to know why?”

“Why?”

His smile widened so much you worried for his cheeks. “Because you and I are going to the theatre.”

“The theatre?” You paled at the mention and looked down at your outfit. “I feel like I’m underdressed then.”

“You look fine,” he laughed and grabbed your hand. “Let’s go or we’ll be late. And trust me,” he widened his eyes for dramatic effect, “you don’t want to be late.”

You gave in begrudgingly and locked the door as fast as you could while he practically bounced at your side in excitement.

“What are we going to watch then?” you finally remembered to ask when you entered the theatre less than 15 minutes later. “I swear, if you dragged me here to watch an opera–”

“It’s a musical, actually,” he admitted bashfully. “I love musicals and I don’t know much about other theatre performances so I thought– But if you don’t like musicals, that’s–”

“I don’t mind musicals,” you told him with a little laugh and pat on his shoulder. “But I have to admit, it has been ages since my last time at the theatre, and I haven’t seen a musical in a few years at least.”

“That’s fine. I’ll guide you through it.” And as if the last shy bone had left his body, he grabbed your hand and led you to your seats, all the while widely smiling at you and giving your hand periodical squeezes of encouragement.

His hand never left yours for the duration of the musical, not even for intermission, not even when he ordered cake from the theatre café to hold you over until after the show. His hand remained warm in yours, fingers squeezing a little tighter every once in a while, his thumb running over the back of your hand.

It was so warm, so comforting. Just his presence alone was enough to make you dizzy with the feeling of safety and happiness. His touch? You were floating on cloud 9 with zero regard for what was going on below – or on the stage, for that matter.

Frankly, you could barely remember to watch the musical because you were so busy marvelling at the feel of his hand in yours.

“That was so good,” he excitedly told you as the two of you returned to your apartment. “The music was phenomenal.”

“The actors were very good.” And that was the only contribution you could make to the conversation because you definitely hadn’t paid any attention to the plot and your knowledge of music was simply not there.

But thankfully, that seemed to be far more than enough. His eyes gleamed as he sat onto your sofa and gestured widely while speaking, “Right? The leading woman was just– Incredible, fantastic. Her range! I’m a little jealous, actually.”

You took the seat next to him. To your surprise, his hand found yours once again, wasting no time in interlocking your fingers. And just like that, paying attention to anything else became difficult.

Were you really developing a crush on him? Just like that? You refused. You were too busy to be pining after a man.

But when slid closer to your side and looked at you like you were the most wonderful person to ever exist, you suddenly didn’t care about the lack of time. Screw it. You’d make time if it meant you got to see his star-filled eyes again.

“... Sorry, what?” you coughed out when he paused and looked at you expectantly.

He laughed. “You’re so cute. I asked if you wanted to go see another musical with me someday.”

“I’d love to,” you blurted out without thinking.

Yeah. Screw deadlines.

“Okay, perfect!” His smile brightened up the entire room as he rested his head on your shoulder. “Because I heard they’re doing Excalibur next season and I desperately need a friend to go watch it with me. I saw the premise and heard a preview of one of the songs and they’re holding auditions next month and I am already obsessed–”

Your brain was barely functioning at all, and yet you could recall one single memory from the depths of it. A dream he had shared. “Then why don’t you audition?”

He sat up abruptly, looking at you as if you were insane. “I couldn’t possibly–”

“Why not?” you asked. “I heard you singing the other day. You’re really good. I think you could get any part pretty easily.”

His ears turned more red with every word you said. “You flatter me…”

“I’m serious, Seokmin!”

“I’m not that good. And I have zero acting experience, aside from a few courses I did in college. Why would they ever pick me?”

“Why wouldn’t they?” you countered and he scoffed.

“I can think of a few–”

“You never know if you don’t try,” you told him and raised your hand to brush a stray hair off his forehead. “I’m rooting for you.”

As your words faded into the night and your eyes met, you wondered if he could feel the sparks flying and bursting all around you as well. Did he also feel that overwhelming adoration for you?

He sighed after a while, a bashful smile on his face. “You must be tired. It’s been a long night. Go to sleep.”

“I really should,” you yawned as if on cue. You shared a laugh at the timing.

He squeezed your hand one last time. “Well, good night then. I expect I’ll find you at my apartment in the morning–”

“Or you could stay here and we don’t have to worry about that,” you blurted without thinking. Your face flashed hot right after.

Had there been any alcohol in that cake he bought for you? Why were you feeling so bold all of a sudden?

“I–” He seemed speechless.

“I don’t know why I said that,” you rushed out and avoided his eyes. “I think I’m just really tired and work has been stressful and maybe my brain is just broke–”

He placed his hand behind your neck and led your head to rest against his chest as he rubbed comforting circles on your back. You could hear his body rumble with laughter as he held you. “I’d love to stay over. Besides,” he pushed you away just enough to look you in the eyes again, “I think it’s only fair that I get to sleep over this once, because you sleep over at my place a lot.”

You frowned and pouted. “It’s not like I mean to–”

“A lot,” he repeated with wide eyes and a teasing smile before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “But it’s okay. I don’t mind.”

When you recounted the half-embarrassing and yet half-lovestruck happenings of the previous night to Sunny on the way back from work, she stared at you in bafflement.

“You actually asked him to sleep over?” she gasped, hand over her heart as if she was a peasant woman of the 16th century hearing the most scandalous gossip. “You little vixen!”

“Nothing happened,” you insistently told her as the two of you stepped off the bus.

She huffed. “That’s honestly so boring. I mean, have you seen that man? What I wouldn’t give to–”

“I am once again reminding you that you already have a boyfriend.”

“You don’t know what we’re into in the bedroom,” she countered with a smirk.

You only now realised how much Jeonghan was rubbing off on her. She was becoming a second him, slowly but surely. Couple of the year.

“I’m taking away your friend privileges, Sunny,” you told her at that and rushed ahead to avoid hearing any more weirdly Jeonghan-like jokes from her.

She laughed at that before running after you. “Okay, okay, no more dirty jokes.”

“Thank god,” you sighed towards the sky.

“So, did any sleepwalking occur?” she then asked before humming in thought. “Well, I imagine if it had, I would’ve heard about it by now. It would’ve been quite a sight to see Seokmin running after an asleep you towards his apartment at 2 am.”

“I didn’t sleepwalk.”

And frankly, if you had, Seokmin must have done a very good job of getting you back to your own bed because you woke up exactly how and where you fell asleep – wrapped in his arms, head resting in the crook of his neck.

Sunny suddenly stopped in spot. Her eyes wide, her lips parted. She pointed an accusatory finger at you, “Wait, does that mean you two are dating now?”

You weren’t sure you had the answer. And you wouldn’t have time to find the answer for a while.

“Good morning!” you heard Seokmin’s voice before you even opened your eyes.

Unlike the previous few times, disappointment filled you as realisation hit. You groaned and turned over to bury your face in his numerous pillows, hoping you could suffocate yourself out of a mildly infuriating nightmare.

Seokmin clicked his tongue. “Not quite the greeting I was expecting, especially considering I was greeted with a hug the last time we shared a bed.”

“Shut it.”

“Oh, you’re mean today.”

“Did I fall asleep mid-work again?” you sighed and slowly sat up to glare at nothing in particular. Seokmin went to great lengths to avoid whatever direction to directed your deadly look to. “God, I bet I didn’t even make it to the second graph– I’m not gonna have time to go to the office for work today.”

He stared at you curiously. “So, work from home? I mean, if you have the possibility.”

“Yeah, but then I’ll get distracted and then I still won’t end up doing anything,” you whined before falling back into the pillows. You wanted to cry just at the thought of that stupid report waiting on your idle laptop.

“Why are you so stressed about this report anyway? I don’t think you were ever this upset over any other reports.”

“If this project report goes through, and we pull off this project – which I still have to plan, oh my god, I am so far behind–”

Seokmin laughed at your frantic movements and moved over to place his hands on your shoulders and keep you still. “Hey, hey, don’t get distracted. If the project goes through…?”

You took a deep breath. “If the project goes well, I will get a promotion. Less hours, better pay.” You sighed. “Then maybe I’ll be able to get a dog like I’ve always wanted.”

“That sounds wonderful! We should celebrate with breakfast,” he suggested with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

But as tempting as it sounded, you simply didn’t have any time to chat. You had work to do. And so, you stood up, fixed your hair, gave Seokmin an affectionate yet half-hearted pat on the back and headed for the door.

You couldn’t wait to spend your day in complete lonely misery. At work you at least had friends to talk between sections. All you had in your apartment was Bertha and instant coffee.

And it was as if Seokmin knew it just from the way you spoke to him that morning.

When the clock struck twelve, you heard a timid knock on your door. Confused at the noise and a little disoriented from the five pages of words you had written, you stood up and went to the door.

Your heart grew three sizes when you saw him standing there, looking so awfully huggable in his large white hoodie and grey sweatpants, glasses on his nose accompanied by a kind smile. You were so surprised to find him there that you failed to consider why he came.

He had to nudge you with the plastic bag he was holding for you to even notice it.

“Sorry,” you stammered and stepped aside to let him in, “I’m just a little-”

“Stress? Overworked? Confused because you’ve been staring at a 15-inch screen for the past three hours?” he suggested and brought the bag to the kitchen. “That’s okay. Don’t even mind me.” He smiled as he nodded towards your laptop. “Go on. Work waits. The sooner you get to it, the sooner it’ll be done.”

Disoriented as you were, you didn’t dare argue and slowly walked back to your previous seat at the coffee table, all the while watching him cautiously.

As your fingers landed on the keyboard, he began lifting things out of the bag. You watched in awe as he stacked snacks and vegetables onto the counter.

Feeling your eyes on him, he lifted his head to glare at you. “Work.”

“Work,” you repeated on instinct and turned back to your laptop. He laughed a little at your robotic tone.

Some 20 minutes later, you felt a presence next to you. When you turned to face it, Seokmin was holding an fruit slice up at your lips.

“Eat,” he told you softly. You did as told.

“What are you doing?” you asked between confused laughter and chewing. Your eyes landed on the bowl of fruits he had placed in front of you.

He shrugged. “Taking care of you. You seemed so upset this morning… I thought it would be nice to spend my free day helping you.”

Your eyes widened. “It’s your free day? And you’re here? You should be resting!”

“Watching you is all the rest I need,” he winked playfully before lifting another fruit to your lips. “Now, eat up. This is lunch. I’ll make something better for dinner.”

“You don’t have to–”

He took this chance to shove a piece of apple into your mouth, effectively interrupting your speech. “I will, and I don’t care what you say.”

He glanced around the apartment as you began to eat the fruits on your own. “When was the last time you opened a window?”

You watched curiously as he stood up (with a groan because his bones simply weren’t as nimble as they used to be) and headed over to the windows, opening a few to air out the room. As he did so, he told you, “They say that good airflow and fresh air help the thought process. We air out the classrooms between every lesson so the next students won’t get too tired.”

“I don’t think I’ve opened any windows in here since I first moved in,” you confessed before turning back to your laptop. Before you could your train of thought again, a soft fabric was placed on your shoulders. You looked up to find him smiling at you brightly. “So you won’t get cold.”

“What about you then?”

He shrugged and winked. “I’ll just consider this my daily walk in the park.” He then looked around the apartment again, as if looking for something to do. You couldn’t help but find it endearing.

“Maybe… you could… make me a cup of tea?” you suggested.

He lit up at the idea. “Coming right up!”

Before heading to the kitchen, he leaned down to press a kiss to your forehead. It seemed almost like a reflex – like he didn’t even need to think about doing it.

Relishing in the leftover warmth of his lips and the feel of his hoodie on your skin, your work took a backseat for a while. Instead of thinking about your project of a lifetime, your brain was drowning in one singular question. You glanced towards the kitchen to watch him, a smile appearing on your face as you did.

“Seokmin?” you called out softly after a moment.

He hummed in response immediately, eyes lifting from the cup he was preparing so he could offer you an encouraging smile.

You took a deep breath. “What are we?”

He paused. “What do you mean?”

“You and I. What are we to each other?” you wondered, unable to look away from him. There was something you badly wanted to hear him say and yet feared at the same time. “What are you to me?”

The corners of his lips twitched. “I… I’ll be whatever you’d like me to be.”

“Whatever? A friend?”

“If that’s what you wish,” he breathed out, a little shakier than before.

“What about a lover?”

He smiled. “If you so wish.”

“Then… what do you want me to be?” you asked him quietly, a part of you praying your words would go missing in the incoming wind before they reached him.

“I just…” He bit his lip in contemplation, ears turning red, and avoided your eyes.

“What do you want me to be to you, Seokmin?” you repeated your question, a little bolder this time, hope sparking in your heart.

He looked up again, into your eyes. “Mine.” You let out a breath – of relief or fear, you weren’t sure – but he didn’t hesitate when he repeated, “I want you to be mine.”

You felt guilty for the words you’d utter next. “But we don’t have the time for that…”

“That’s okay,” he assured you with a kind smile. “We’ll take it slow.”

“Slow? How slow do we take it?”

“As slow as you need. I’m not leaving.”

“I signed up for the auditions,” he told you over breakfast a few days later. “Jihoon’s helping me prepare.”

You were still neck-deep in your project, struggling to meet the deadlines and coordinate your team. This seemed to lead the asleep you to Seokmin’s apartment more often than not. It was almost like you woke up in his bed every morning now.

But even in your despair, you couldn’t help but be excited for Seokmin.

Your eyes lit up and a squeal came out as you grabbed his hand over the table. “Really? You did?!”

He used his free hand to rub the back of his neck bashfully. “Well, you said I should give it a try, right? Who knows,” he shrugged, trying his best to seem nonchalant or even fake a little bit of confidence, “maybe they’ll give me a part.”

“I’m sure they will,” you insisted, squeezing his hand. “Your voice is amazing and you’re so handsome – the ladies are going to swoon when they see you on the stage.”

He laughed. “Will you be one of those ladies?”

“I’ll be in the front row,” you solemnly promised. “At every show. You’ll get sick of seeing me.”

“I could never,” he assured you.

Seokmin’s audition would take place two weeks later. You made sure the mark the day with a big red circle on your calendar – on all three of them, in fact. And now it was time.

Between your seemingly endless stream of project complications and Seokmin’s daytime job and audition preparations, you barely saw him. If it weren’t for your persistent sleepwalking problem, you wouldn’t have seen him at all. And so, the curse had became a blessing.

“You’ll do great,” you assured him minutes after waking up in his bed. You made sure to give him the warmest hug before letting him leave the room. “I believe in you. And so does Jihoon, apparently.”

Seokmin pouted. “Did he say that or are you lying to make me feel better?”

“We talked yesterday,” you told him, appalled that he’d even accuse you of such atrocities. “He said he has complete faith that you’ll do well.”

“I don’t believe you but–”

“Do you want to fight me? Already?” You raised a brow and he shook his head immediately. “Exactly. Just accept the compliment. And don’t forget to call me when you finish, okay?”

“Of course,” he promised.

He kept that promise. Just as he stepped out of the theatre, his shaky hands picked up the phone and chose your number.

You answered the call with prep in your voice. It had been a good day so far and you were expecting to hear his no-doubt joyous retellings of the audition.

What you weren’t expecting was: “Can you come get me? I think I might cry.”

“Why, why?” Despite your words, you didn’t hesitate to slam your laptop closed and grab your jacket. “Are you okay? Were they mean?”

“They weren’t mean,” he mumbled on the other side of the line, “but I don’t think I did well.”

“I’m sure you did wonderful,” you spoke while rushing down the street. Thankfully, the theatre was barely a five-minute walk from your office – half that at your current pace. “You’re just putting yourself down over nothing.”

Seokmin whined. “You’re seriously overestimating me.”

“Don’t be silly.”

“No, I’m serious. You overestimate me.”

As you crossed the street, you noticed a familiar figure dragging his feet along the pavement, head low and shoulders slumped. “Now why would I do that?”

“Because you like me a little more than you should,” he suggested while kicking a pebble. You could already hear his voice even without the phone. “I’m sure the directors think I’m a joke or something. God, I am so–”

“Don’t you dare say another bad word about yourself,” you scolded him with a gentle slap against the back of his head.

He stared at you in bewilderment – both from the fact that you might as well have appeared from thin air and the fact that you just did that.

But you were unrelenting in your affection for him. “Lee Seokmin, listen to me: you did absolutely great. You did your best. And even if you don’t get a part this time, they’ll value the fact that you now have experience with auditions. Take it in stride.”

Tears gathered in his eyes. Before long, he pulled you into his embrace, holding you impossibly tight. “You’re just saying that… Thank you.”

“That’s what I’m here for, silly,” you laughed and hugged him back just as tightly. “I think we should celebrate this occasion.”

“Even if I screwed up and don’t get the part?”

You scoffed. “Absolutely! A little cake can make everything better, no?”

He sighed. “I don’t think I can eat right now. I might throw up from the nerves.”

“Drink then?”

He contemplated and then straightened up. “I could go for some bubble tea…”

“There we go!” you cheered and gently pinched his cheeks, prompting a small giggle. “My treat because you did so well today and I’m so proud of you.”

This time it was you who grabbed his hand without any hesitation, more than happy to reassuringly squeeze it as you walked and talked.

“When will you get the answer?” you wondered.

He sucked in a breath. “In about a week, they said. Or maybe never–”

“Seokmin,” you scolded.

“In a week,” he corrected himself with some enthusiasm. “I’ll get answers in a week. And then I might actually cry.”

“And I’ll be there when you cry tears of joy, darling.”

“Tears of joy?” He raised a brow and smiled in disbelief. “You seriously put too much faith in me.”

You nudged his side. “As if you haven’t been equally supportive about my promotion.”

“Oh, right,” Seokmin gasped, “won’t your promotion interview be in a week too?”

You would’ve preferred he didn’t remind you. Then again, you guessed it was only fair.

“Will you come over to hold me when I cry too?”

“Tears of joy?” he teased and leaned over to kiss your temple. “I’ll be just a call away.”

The week somehow passed at both the pace of a snail and the pace of Junhui on a sugar rush.

After finding you in his bed every single morning, Seokmin resorted to just sleeping over at your place, tightly cuddling you to keep you in place. He now had a whole drawer dedicated to his things in your bedroom.

The day started okay. You were awoken not by a loud alarm like you had expected, but by Seokmin gently singing you awake.

For a moment, you thought you had died and gone straight to heaven – maybe working so hard to save the environment had paid off after all, you thought. But no, it was just your reality.

What a beautiful reality. You couldn’t help but smile as you cuddled into his chest.

“If you keep clinging onto me like that, I won’t be able to make my famous waffles for a lucky breakfast,” he whispered but made no attempt to push you away.

The delicious breakfast was followed by an encouraging hug on the way out of the building, him to the school and you to the office. You wore a smile the entire time.

Up until you made it to your desk. Then the reality began sinking in.

This was the day that could make or break your career. The day you had worked so hard for that you neglected your private life for so many years.

As the clock on the wall slowly ticked forward, your hands began to shake. Your throat was dry. Your head was fuzzy, full of nothing but anxiety. If someone had asked you about anything, you would’ve only been able to stare at them with a mouth wide open.

20 minutes until your scheduled interview. You were starting to feel sick.

When another colleague came to give you a supportive pat on the back, you excused yourself and grabbed your phone to rush outside to the balcony. You sat on a chair and willed yourself to take deep breaths as you tapped on his number.

You wanted to slap yourself when you realised that you hadn’t even bothered to check if he was on break yet.

But he answered on the first ring. “Hey, what’s up? Did you have the interview alread–”

“Seokmin, I can’t do this,” you whimpered into the microphone. “I can’t do this. They’re gonna realise I’m an idiot and they’ll fire me and–”

“Woah, woah, what happened to your positive can-do attitude?” he wondered. “You’ll be fine.”

“No–”

“(Y/n),” he said your voice so firmly that your breath got caught in your throat. “(Y/n), you will be fine. You’ve worked there for so many years, you’ve achieved so many things. If they wanted to fire you, they would’ve done that by now.”

You took a shaky breath. “What if it’s an elaborate prank?”

“Why would– Baby, listen to me. You’ve worked hard. You put everything you had into that project – I was there, I saw it. You and your ideas are invaluable to your company. They’re going to ask you a few questions as a formality and they’re going to give that promotion and then you and I are going to go to a celebratory dinner and it’ll all be over.”

“And I can get a dog?” you whispered, a small smile tugging at your lips.

“You can get two dogs if you want, baby,” he laughed. “You deserve it. Don’t underestimate yourself. I believe in you and I’m sure your co-workers do as well.”

“How do you always know the right words to say?”

He laughed once again. “Baby, I’m a teacher. I’m literally trained to comfort people. I’m just glad I’m able to comfort you as well.”

“Thank you.”

“No need,” he responded, “just go and ace that interview. Okay?”

“And then you’ll come and wipe my happy tears?”

“You already know the answer to that question. But I expect the same treatment when I get my audition results.”

“Will do.”

“Go and get them, tiger.”

You weren’t sure what it was, but something about the conversation seemed to have lifted the weight off your shoulders. When you walked back to the office, the upcoming interview no longer felt as taunting.

As the clock hit 2 pm, you squared your shoulders, took a deep breath and headed to your manager’s office.

When the day ended, you found Seokmin standing in front of the office building, a blinding smile on his face.

“Well?” he asked expectantly, though the look in his eyes said that he had every faith that you would only give him good news. You were glad to prove him right.

Your coy smile was replaced with joyous laughter as you ran to hug him and called out, “I got the job!”

“You got it? You got it!” he cheered with you, jumping up and down with you in his arms, not far from spinning you around in the air. “I knew you would! What did I tell you? Silly you,” he let you out of his hold to place his hands on your cheeks and pull your face closer to his own, “you thought you wouldn’t get the promotion. Look at you now. I’m so proud of you.”

You breathed out in relief. The smile seemed to never stop tugging on your cheeks. “I’m so relieved I could cry.”

“Then who will dry my happy tears?” he teased with a bright smile.

You tilted your head in confusion. “Wait–”

“I got the part,” he whispered, his smile only growing wider, eyes sparkling. “I’m going to become a musical actor, officially.”

“Oh my god!” you practically squealed and now it was your turn to hug him and jump. He was glad to join you, laughing in glee. “I knew you could do it! I knew it!”

As joy got the best of you – and who could blame you: this was the happiest day of your life so far –, you grabbed his face and pulled him closer to you to press your lips against his own. He melted into the gesture, arms wrapping around you tighter as if to will the moment to last forever.

When you pulled back, just enough so that your noses touched, he laughed in disbelief. “I thought we were supposed to take it slow?”

“Screw taking it slow,” you whispered and kissed him again. “Might as well make it a triple celebration.”

“I like the sound of that.”

BONUS !

While practically leaning out of their open window to watch you and Seokmin kiss under the streetlights on your way home, Jeonghan and Sunny argued.

“I told you they would get together,” Sunny declared, her eyebrows raised as if to dare her boyfriend to prove her wrong.

Jeonghan scoffed. “Please. They’re just kissing. It could be casual.”

“Just say you don’t want to owe me 20 bucks.”

“I don’t owe you 20 bucks! We have no confirmation!”

“Jeonghan, listen here–”

“No, no, you listen–”

“Both of you listen here!” Chan bellowed from the window above them. “If you don’t stop arguing right now, I will report you both to Jihoon’s parents! Some of us are trying to sleep!” Silence followed. “And pay her the 20 bucks, Jeonghan. They’re clearly together.”

Jeonghan grumbled and glared upwards before fishing a 20 out of his pocket and handing it to his smiling girlfriend.

#caratland #to be loved by lee seokmin is to receive a love that transcends lifetimes #god. my poor heart #how am i supposed to find love in uni when a whole deekay exists…

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doycngs · 3 years ago

Text

jung jaehyun. | reiteration.

THE SEQUEL TO REPETITION! READ HERE!

summary. this time around, you have to prove a point to jaehyun when jealousy gets the best of him. but one thing he is glad for is that you’re forgivable enough to let him make it up to you.

pairing. y/n x nct’s jaehyun.

genre. established relationship!au, college!au

word count. 6k.

warnings. explicit smut, swearing, unprotected sex (wrap it up bois), dom!jaehyun, sub!afab!reader [she/her pronouns] slight cumplay, bondage again!, spanking, clit play, oral fixation (it’s what i’m calling it now idk), foreplay (receiving), dirty talk, degradation (receiving), slight choking, rough play, breeding 0_0, i think that is all + johnny is sleazy for plot purposes and um jae is a little bit annoying but it’s okay, we shall forgive him,,, he makes up for it bc he is a big dumb softie in the end <3

ah, return of the infamous jung jaehyun everybody has fallen in love with… some may be sad at this new development but i’ve added a small plot to this sequel, whoops! not proofread yet bc i wanted this out for valentine boy’s (late) bday! enjoy and dni if this is not for you, half of it is smut :)

|—————|

THE SECOND JOHNNY opened his mouth to compliment Jaehyun on how much of a catch you were, how lucky he was to have gotten you, you knew it was going to be a long night.

It was an annual end-of-the-year party for Jaehyun’s new firm he was currently working at. There were rare occasions where Jaehyun could bring you to work outings and since this dinner party, set at some fancy golf course, had plus-ones available, Jaehyun obviously invited you.

And oh, how excited you were. After all, you were pretty close to being a college graduate and never had many chances to dress up nicely. You weren’t much of a party-goer but fancy dinners did sound nice to attend once in a while.

So you tried your best with your appearance tonight. There’s nothing wrong with that. Jaehyun also loved it, considering how touchy and needy he was since you had slipped this heather mini dress on. He was tempted to just park the car on the side of the highway road and have his way with you after fantasizing far too much for safety purposes.

The only problem that Jaehyun did have was the comments you were getting from his coworker. He wasn’t all too close with everyone yet but he was shadowing Johnny as a lawyer and knew him much better than everybody else in the expansive room.

Maybe the reason why he was getting so possessive of you was that he knew how much of a lady’s man this dude was. And oh, was Johnny one.

“So how long have you two been together? For the six months I’ve known this guy, he’s bragged about his gorgeous girlfriend maybe once.” Johnny states over a flute of champagne, having politely grabbed two; one for himself and one for you out of courtesy. Jaehyun had to flag down a server for a glass himself.

You hum, smiling easily, “I believe it's close to three years now?”

Looking over to your boyfriend, his jaw tightens as he catches Johnny’s eyes wandering when you look away. He couldn’t punch his superior and cause a fight, right?

A call of his name from your pretty lips to take Jaehyun out of his violent imagination. “Oh, uh… yes. Three years. We met on my birthday.”

“Oh, that’s dope. February…?”

You butt in, your exaggerated interest (at least in Jaehyun’s warped mind) making his blood boil. “14th! He came into the flower shop I was currently working at to buy flowers for his mom. Kept coming in and giving her an abnormal amount of boutiques until I asked him out.”

“Oh, really?” The biggest smirk plants onto Johnny’s face at the new information, eyes flying over to his shadow, “I’ve never heard this story before.”

Giggling as you recall the fond memories, Johnny’s eyes are glued to you permanently, “He’s probably a little embarrassed. After I got Jaehyun’s number, he accidentally texted me his panic attack to his friend, Sicheng, on what to message me first.”

Johnny practically guffaws at the story which Jaehyun didn’t find that amusing, the most passive-aggressive smile on your lover’s face.

You suck your lips into your mouth at the sight, deciding to reign in your usual desire to brag about your boyfriend. And yes, you consider outing your boyfriend’s clumsy messaging habits as a brag. He was endearing.

Jaehyun settles his hand lower on your back, gently pushing you in a certain direction. “We’ll be right back. Gotta go figure out our seats.”

Johnny nods in agreement, saying he should do the same as the three of you part, Jaehyun’s tight hold on your hip signifying his annoyance.

Side-eying his expression, now dropped of pleasant formalities, you brush your hand onto your boyfriend’s.

“Jae, he’s just being nice—”

“You’re joking, right? He was obviously flirting—”

Here we go. The cycle is starting all over again. You thought you two were past this.

You halt on your way to searching the next circle table, bringing Jaehyun to look back and stand before you. “This is what we are not going to do, okay? Even if he’s flirting with me, ignore it.”

Jaehyun rolls his eyes, “No, I can’t ignore it. He’s been eye-fucking you since we’ve arrived!”

You grab onto your boyfriend’s shoulders, his nice hair that parted so neatly tonight already messed up from his anger. Attempting to smooth that crease out between Jae’s flawless skin, you rub up and down on his forearms.

“Then just let him. I don’t care because I’m yours and you shouldn’t either at this point, considering how much work you’ve done to get this far and shadow such a great lawyer at this firm. Don’t throw this all away for me.”

Jaehyun grits his teeth, his ears only attuned to further enrage the burning fire of green jealousy in his chest. You instantly catch onto what your boyfriend is caught up on, huffing.

“It’s two hours and then we’re gone, okay?”

When Jaehyun bites the inside of his lip, you repeat yourself, “... Okay?”

“... Fine.”

Breathing out a sigh of relief, you turn him back around and allow Jaehyun to continue trying to find your name tags at the assigned tables. You pray that Johnny doesn’t make any more out-of-pocket comments or do anything else that was slightly incriminating.

Just for the sake of his physical safety.

|—————|

The night’s luck was not on your side because you and Jaehyun were placed at the table adjacent to Johnny. Johnny kept throwing his head back and whispering what sounded like jokes into your ear, which of course, your boyfriend seethed at.

You tried hard to not seem so amused but the man’s dad jokes were out of this world. Since he gained a good reaction from the first, Johnny’s gigantic storage of them in his head had been spilling out his mouth nonstop.

At a particularly funny one, you’re covering your mouth and bent over in trying to be quiet, Jaehyun silently grasping your elbow. Biting your lip to drown your giggles with pain helps in calming down, especially after you gaze at Jaehyun’s expression again and he looks insanely pissed at his superior. And now you for entertaining the latter.

By the time all the good-natured speeches are over, plates of appetizers and entrees come whisking out. You momentarily forget about the entire dilemma for the sake of enjoying good food, free of charge. At the moment, you don’t realize your natural way of moaning at how good the lamb chops are is distracting to Jaehyun and unfortunately Johnny.

After what sounded too excessive for the situation, Jaehyun scolds you with a heated whisper in your ear.

“Stop making those noises, please. It sounds like I’m fucking you.”

Your brows furrow at the comment, bummed. The corners of your mouth are downturned for being yelled at, bottom lip jutting out.

As the night continues on, the pout stays, especially at how you just being yourself starts to irk Jaehyun. The chastising starts to hurt a little and you want to mention it to Jae, just in the way you two promised you were going to mention anything to one another that bothered you two… but then you’d be hypocritical.

After all, you were the one that pushed Jaehyun’s attempt at speaking his mind with Johnny. You should push yours aside for the end of the night too.

Jae’s last comment about making you cross your legs though makes you see red. You really didn’t need snides about your posture or how to be “lady-like”, anything of that sort. You had expressed to Jaehyun multiple times how uncomfortable you were with those types of remarks and it felt like, under this blinded emotion of jealousy, all the comfortable moments you’ve spoken what’s on your mind had vanished from your caring and attentive boyfriend’s memory.

You don’t mean to start giving Jaehyun the cold shoulder, you just get lost in your head, the both of your bad moods feeding off one another.

From how long you’ve been dating one another, the one thing Jaehyun could not stand for was the silent treatment. You know this very well and yet Jaehyun notes of your silence before you realize it yourself, now fuming at your behavior too.

The two of you end up leaving after dessert is cleaned off, way too early to be professional. Your worry about Jaehyun’s reputation clouds your unintentional muteness for a moment as he leads you two to the foyer, a staff member going to get your coat with the number you hand off to them.

“Are you sure you want to leave now?” The incredibility in your tone doesn’t help the stoic look on Jaehyun’s face.

“Yes.”

It’s a short response that has you sighing past your nostrils. Back to your silent treatment, it was.

“We’re gonna talk in the car.”

You only hum in response, forcing Jaehyun’s palms to curl into a ball. He’s had enough; Jung Jaehyun hates arguing with you.

Just as he turns to fully face your side profile, to address everything and scream his frustration out, the person comes back with your coat.

The staff member is kind in opening up your pea coat for you to step into but Jaehyun takes it from the person’s hands, allowing him to be the one to do so.

Tonguing your cheek in exasperation of Jaehyun’s irrational possessiveness, you tug the jacket on in one smooth motion, not wanting to be physically close with your rude boyfriend currently. You lead in the way to the revolving door and stalk to the car, the pain in your feet from wearing heels fueling your anger even more.

You yank the offending shoes off before Jaehyun can even unlock the vehicle, exhausted from this night now that you two were leaving. Once he does though, seeming to take his sweet time in reaching the car, you step in with a huff. Twisting the knob to blast the heat, Jaehyun climbs to the driver’s seat and buckles himself in.

He isn’t even looking at you.

“Buckle.”

You honestly want to not follow this man’s orders just to irk him, screw your welfare at this point.

“I said buckle.”

The commanding voice most of the time turns you on. But right now, it was just twisting your insides and making you feel stupid. Childish.

Jae finally turns his head to see your chest rising and falling way too fast to be normal. Swearing under his breath, he leans over the console, acting like he was wasting his energy to yank on the cable for you. You deny the urge to tug Jaehyun’s hands away to do it yourself, not wanting to break your own promise of not touching him.

It’s silent all the way to the freeway, where your insistent sighs finally make your boyfriend snap.

“Please stop sighing.”

“No, I’m mad at you.”

“Oh, you’re mad at me? That’s rich with how you were and are currently giving me the silent treatment.”

Your habit of biting would make your lip bleed at this point.

“Of course, I didn’t want to talk to you, when it seemed like if I opened my mouth, you would scold me for it. And why were you so fucking rude to that coat person? They were just helping me!”

It’s the first point of this entire fight that would set off everything else.

“I was not rude.”

You finally turn in your seat, shocked at how Jaehyun was denying his blatant behavior just several minutes ago.

“Are you joking? You’re that fucking possessive of me that you can be the only one to help me put a damn jacket on?”

Jaehyun lets out a shaky exhale, ticked off at your tone. His attempt to try and be calm is slowly deteriorating.

“That was not possessive. I wanted to put it on for you!”

“Really? You know— that is rich— thinking back to how you kept yelling at me for doing the smallest of things earlier.”

“I— I was not yelling at you, Y/N,” Jaehyun glances over at you, his knuckles turning white on the steering wheel, “I didn’t mean them that way—”

“What other way could you have meant them?” You’re raising your voice now, mad beyond relief, “You have no right to ever tell me to cross my legs or not to talk, or to stop having the humor to laugh at jokes!”

Jaehyun tries to cut you off but you don’t allow it.

“No matter whether or not you’re jealous, I will never allow you to stop me from being myself. Screw you.”

It’s quiet in the car again and you know you’ve left your boyfriend speechless, grasping at some way to counter back.

“After what I’ve told you about how annoying it is to get those comments, throughout my life, you just throwing out all that I’ve said about it and telling me to close my legs, oh my—” You stop yourself, arms crossed and now facing the window, “I cannot fucking believe you. I don’t give a shit about pleasing your damn ego and saying that I belong to you anymore.”

“Baby—”

“Don’t baby me. I’m done. I really might break if you try to explain yourself to me right now. Please save it.”

You turn on the radio station to drown out the silence in the car, not able to stand it. As much as you stood by what you just said, you don’t like putting down Jaehyun either. You knew he was such a loving, caring boyfriend that would never just toss away your actual limits to things but it didn’t seem that way back at the party.

By the time Jaehyun reaches your apartment’s underground garage, you’re stepping out in bare feet. The look of concern you get from Jaehyun in your peripheral makes your heart twist more and you two step into the elevator in a stifling tension.

The ride to the floor is silent. And getting into the apartment is silent, spare for Jaehyun unlocking the door and letting you walk in first. You have the manners to thank him for doing so, no matter how upset you were within.

Trudging to the bathroom, you begin to wipe at the makeup on your face, sad that you had spent so long getting ready and dolling up to only leave an hour and a half in. You’re biting your bare lips, now gone of red tint, to stop from having your throat tighten up.

Jaehyun steps into your bedroom’s bathroom, sulking like a kicked puppy. He watches your eyes glimmer in the mirror and the way you’re unwilling to make eye contact. You knew that if you did, the tears would finally fall and you would rather not show how affected you were with this argument.

The effort you’re putting in to not cry though makes Jaehyun’s expression even hollow, furious with himself for going so far. For asking you to not do things without good reason, for letting his unhealthy jealousy get to him, for ruining the one night you’ve been getting excited for since he had asked you to attend the dinner party with him.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

You’re afraid that if you open your mouth, it’ll betray how bothered you were with Jaehyun.

“Please say something. I don’t want to go to sleep mad at one another.”

You’re stubborn tonight, not giving in to the urge to hug him yet.

“I don’t either. Let me shower first.” You sigh, bare-faced now. With your hand on the knob, you close Jaehyun out and take a hot shower, scrubbing the night away.

Jaehyun sits at the edge of the bed facing the door, hair now all ruffled and out of place with the way he runs his hands through the strands. His tie felt suffocating, his suit jacket felt suffocating. He tugs both off and sets them aside on the accent chair you insisted the bedroom aesthetic needed.

He looks around the room and notes how much of you you’ve managed to create in his space. He had gotten this apartment four years ago, never thinking or even considering having another being set up their life in here too. And now he can’t imagine the trinkets and books and scattered bits of you not being here.

Every time you two fought with pettiness, Jaehyun knew what he was upset about was never worth losing you. Getting jealous because of how insecure he was of keeping you was never worth losing you for.

So when you finally step out of the bathroom, all soft and wet and mellow, Jaehyun dies to tug you into his arms. Keep you by his side. But you side-step him and walk to the closet for a nightgown.

“Shower first please.”

His heart cracks just a little more. You wanted to talk this out just as much as Jaehyun but you needed a bit more time to think more things through.

Jae takes the quickest shower he could manage and comes out to you sitting on the bed, playing with the threads of the mattress. He tugs a sleep shirt on and sweats on and then he’s catching you into his hold finally.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to ruin the night.”

“I know.”

“I didn’t mean to take it too far either. I let my jealousy get a hold of me.”

You look up to him, big eyes with genuine confusion. “Jae, I would never up and leave you for someone else.”

“I know,” He tugs his chin into his neck, playing with your hands in your lap, “I know that. I didn’t think properly at the moment. And I also just got mad at how my superior was disrespecting you. Did you really not notice how he kept looking at you?”

His large palm lands to curl around the side of your face. “I did but, Jaehyun, you were right there. And I told you I didn’t care. Even if Johnny tried anything, you were right beside me. I’m not mad at you just because of that. If he was going too far, I also would have told him myself. I’m capable of it.”

Jaehyun hides his face inside your wet hair. “You’re right, you are. I wasn’t thinking deeply about those things I said either.”

“Say them to my face again. Right now.”

“Baby, no.”

“Exactly. I’m just proving a point. Just please… don’t do that again. It hurts.”

Jaehyun cradles your face into his chest, teary. “Okay, I’m sorry.”

“Please stop saying sorry. And do better, okay? And I’ll try my best too as well.” Your small voice is muffled in Jaehyun’s shirt and you grasp at the back of his black tee tighter.

“Okay, I’ll do better.”

“I’m sorry for being stubborn. And giving you the silent treatment. I got lost in my head thinking about what you were asking me to do. Just tell me when I’m doing it, okay? I’ll stop.”

Jaehyun wetly chuckles at your maturity, so thankful to have you as the anchor in his life.

“Okay, baby. I will,” He pulls your pouty face away from his body finally, cupping your cheeks and squishing them, “I am so damn lucky to have you.”

You grin, “Me too. Love you.”

His heart soars, the biggest smile overtaking Jaehyun’s face as well. “Say that again.”

Pulling out of his embrace, you shake your head, fondly exasperated. “You big, overgrown child.”

Jaehyun whines, tugging you back into his space. “Just one more time.”

You huff under your breath, “Love you.”

“Last one.” He chirps happily.

Laughing, you push at Jaehyun’s chest. He doesn’t budge an inch and your back hits the mattress as a result as you laugh breathlessly.

Jaehyun climbs over your form, adoration in his coffee-colored irises. “One more time, please.” His voice is low and you sink your hands in the hair at the nape of Jaehyun’s neck.

He brings his lips closer to yours and you whisper the words against his pillowy mouth. “Love you.”

Jaehyun seals his lips to yours with the two words uttered, an overwhelming need to showcase his own love to you through actions. His tongue pasts the seam of your mouth, licking in and breathing hot. You fall easily into his ministrations and let him take control of the night. His stomach sucks in at the submissiveness you ooze, pulling away to place his arms beside your head and lock his elbows.

His gaze locks onto your glazed eyes and puffy lips, heart lurching. “God, I am the one that belongs to you. I cannot believe you’re real.”

You turn away, embarrassed. “You can’t say those things so seriously.”

“It’s true,” Jaehyun whispers to kiss at your jaw, tilting your face up for more area to mark, “I love you so fucking much.”

Giggling, the sound twinkles in Jae’s ears and he savors it, hands tugging at your waist. He urges you to grind up into him and you do so without complaint. Jaehyun controls your movements and lifts your hips to his crotch.

Brushing the hair falling into his eyes, you savor the warmth in them. They crinkle at the intensity in which you stare into Jaehyun’s gaze, rarely seeing you get so quiet and attentive like this.

“You okay, darling?”

“Hm,” You hum, playing at the thin gold chain on his neck, “Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Can you…” Your face flushes, the desire of playing out your request making your cheeks heat up.

“What, baby? I’ll do anything you want tonight.” Jaehyun kisses your nose and you scrunch your face at the feeling. His hands roam your sides, now under your short gown and on heated bare skin. He mumbles a low “Warm,” between your breasts, love drunk.

“Anything?” You clarify.

Jaehyun stills at that. “Well… most things. What do you have in mind?”

Biting your lip, you look to the ceiling. “Nevermind.”

He doesn’t waver. “No no, tell me. I won’t be mean.”

“Promise?”

Jaehyun smiles at your cuteness. “Yes, you big baby.”

You pick at your bottom row of teeth. “Can you… um, tie me up again?”

Your stupid boyfriend smirks. “I’ve tied you up many times before, darling. You’re gonna have to be a little more specific.”

Horrified at the comment, you slap on his chest lightly. “I mean like… you know, near last spring… finals week…”

“Uh-huh…” He tongues at his cheek, “Remind me again.”

He pretends to play oblivious with the silliest little smile pasted on, the natural dimples making his arrogant face look more teasing.

“Jae, please. I seriously cannot say these types of things when I’m not fully turned on, it’s embarrassing.”

Jaehyun falls onto your hair, laughing earnestly. “Why are you always so scared to say it? It’s only me!”

“I just said it’s embarrassing!”

He curls his arms around you again, tight hold on your torso. “You seemed to have no shame that day though. I know what you’re talking about.”

“Exactly my point. So don’t play dumb and pretend you don’t know what I’m saying then.”

Jaehyun presses his mouth to yours again, the grin he has on morphing the kiss into just a peck. “You’re so adorable. I can’t.”

“Please just get on with this then, no more talking.” With your whining, Jaehyun chuckles as you pull him closer to your chest.

Interlocking lips once more, the kisses get more passionate and you tug on his tee roughly. Jaehyun pleases you by allowing you to do the honors for him, his toned skin always a sight for sore eyes. You’re desperate, tugging at his drawstrings (for real this time).

As if he remembers suddenly, Jaehyun grabs onto your wrists and plants them above your head before finally leaving your bottom lip with a soft bite. Sitting down on his heels, he pulls unties the drawstrings out of his sweats and you quite literally salivate at his veins in his hands flexing.

Satisfying yourself, you rake your nails through that trail of his. Jaehyun shivers a little at the feeling, watching the molten desire in your irises grow tenfold.

“You’ve thought about this a lot, haven’t you?”

“Please just shut up.”

He squints down at you, watching your pelvis begin to move back and forth on his right thigh.

“You know, I would usually tell you to watch your mouth and call you a brat but it feels wrong tonight.”

You moan at the enticement, hating your contradictory ways. Just a little more than half an hour ago, you screamed at him and now you were directly being hypocritical.

Jaehyun grabs a hold of your neck, kissing you softly once more. “What do you want? Tell me, love.”

You gather your own hold of his large palm snaked around your neck, guiding him to squeeze just a bit more. “I want you.”

“Do you want my usual?” He’s being careful and you grin with an uplifted hum.

“Your wish is my command.”

With that done and said, Jaehyun pulls you to sit up and tuck your knees to your chest before rolling you over. A squeal later, you allow him to gather your arms to your back.

“Stay like that,” Jaehyun steps off the bed and gets something from a drawer, making your nerves spike. The drawstring was just there now, what was he going to go get?

Just as you’re about to remind him, you hear the snap of leather and instantly jump and stiffen. A belt.

Jaehyun runs the material over the skin of your back, watching goosebumps rise along your skin in satisfaction.

“Color?” He takes the tip down closer to your clothed core and you clench at the feeling.

“Green, green.” Your breathless reply is slightly muffled from the way your cheek is smushed into the sheets.

Instead of wrapping the belt around your wrists though, they curl around just below your biceps, above your elbows, and loop behind your back, just tight enough to keep them in a good position. You’re still bound but can easily move your forearms around.

“Too tight?”

“No, it’s good.” You attempt to reach for Jaehyun’s palm splayed out on your lower back and it stretches your muscles. Falling back on the action, you abandon the effort to not get a cramp.

He swipes your hair over your shoulder and repositions you easily, lifting your legs to hike your hips up higher. Jaehyun reaches your clit, already swollen and ready to be stimulated, gently brushing against the nub over your underwear.

His abdomen stiffens at the sounds you make, so shaky and uncontrollable. Jaehyun wishes he could record it and play it back in his head whenever he wanted to.

“I’ll be nice tonight. How does that sound, doll?” Two fingers spread your lips, “Good?”

You grunt in reply, rearing your butt towards Jaehyun’s touch. What you don’t realize is that Jaehyun’s face is there and you bump your clit on his nose.

“Want me to eat you out?”

“Fuck, please Jae. Anything, at this point—” Before you can say more, he suctions his lips around your clit and flicks at it with his tongue through the fabric. Writhing at the pleasure, you die to dig your hands into Jaehyun’s wet mop of hair. Your toes curl and fingernails pinch at the skin of your palms, a cry pushing past your lips before you can help it.

Jaehyun hauls your flimsy excuse of underwear down your legs, not taking the time to hook them off your bottom half all the way before placing the flat on his pink muscle on your lips, thrusting shallowly into your sopping cunt while he massages at the meat of your ass. You can feel your heartbeat in your throat and permitting yourself to drown in how good it feels, your back slackens before your body sinks into the mattress further.

He doesn’t grant you any reprieve, roughly yanking at your hips to bury his tongue further within your clenching walls. He groans like a man starved as a sharp slap lands on one buttcheek, soothing the burn after by skimming over the newly irritated skin. His expert thumb begins rubbing at your clit, adamant on making you cum from his attentive care.

Your begs rise into a high-pitch, breathing heavy. Jaehyun’s long arms inch under the hem of your nightgown to tweak at your stiffened nipples, perk and sensitive at the touch. Your severe problem of always moving too much harshly causes Jaehyun to jerk back from your center. You moan at the loss of contact.

“Baby, behave before I make you, you hear me?”

“I was getting close, Jae!”

“No attitude. I don’t wanna punish you right now.”

You smirk out of breath, knowing Jaehyun will hear the enticement in your words. “If it’ll make you make me cum faster, fuck it.”

A tight grip wraps around your throat again and you shudder, loving the snugness of the action. It felt natural to have his hand there, so in control of the way you suck in air.

“You’re testing me.”

“And?”

You immediately regret your scoff of misconduct, the other cheek he hadn’t harmed earlier, even worse with a sting than the first.

“I honestly believe you like me treating you like this,” Jaehyun whispers, climbing over your vulnerable figure and in contrast to his unrestrained discipline just seconds ago, languidly grasping at your hair, “Don’t you? You like me, making you wet from the way I do?”

The gentle fingers that were combing in your hair tangle into an unyielding fist in a flash, forcefully twisting your face in the opposite direction from before. Jaehyun bends close to your heated face, the amusement at your quietness obvious in his curled lips.

“Gosh… I can’t wait to fuck you into this mattress.” He emphasizes his point by bucking his hips forward and you can feel the hard length through his sweats at your sopping center. You swallow down the moan digging up to your lips.

“Why so silent suddenly? Finally want to be a good girl and listen?”

The last sentence makes you grit your teeth. “No, not anymore really.”

“Fine,” The tone is final. Jaehyun gets out of your space, running his pointer finger down your spine. “All fine by me.”

Your mind turns at that, confused. You can’t predict what Jae will do next and can’t see well from how you’re positioned. From a guess, Jaehyun has pulled off his sweats at last.

You instinctively push at the pressure Jaehyun places on your core, swiping through your wetness only to retract a second later. Reminded of your stubborn hold on misbehaving tonight, you still your bottom from desperately bumping back.

He shifts to kneel right in your eye’s view on the bed, skin a glow from the lamplight on your bed stand. Jaehyun runs a haphazard hand through his damp hair while the other holds his hard member. Your stomach sucks in at the appetizing sight, eyes glued to the way his dick twitches.

His tight hold of your chin places enough strength in it to heave your upper half from the bed. Jae’s thumb pushes past your closed lips forcefully and then fights past your clenched teeth to plunge three fingers into the tight expanse of your mouth.

You whimper in complaint, his blunt nails scratching at your tongue to produce more saliva. Once satisfied, Jaehyun takes his now-soaked fingertips out, easing your jaw and humming. Thumbing at his blushing red tip with your saliva, he pinches your cheeks and pouts mockingly.

“Since you were so impatient, you’re going to have to wait a little longer now. How does that sound?”

Now you genuinely whine, helplessly watching as he lubricates himself with your spit and starts pumping with a firm clutch and loose wrist. Jaehyun throws his head back, eyes lidded and thick neck showcased.

Your fingers physically wiggle in the complaint. You can only hold yourself back for so long. The groan of gratification that escapes Jaehyun has you break in resolve, unable to handle watching this.

“Jae, please!”

He laughs with the hottest smile on. It sounds so damn attractive, you tremble. “No, I don’t give a shit. Just lay there with your needy cunt in the air and watch me.”

“Please, no. No no, you said you’d be nice.” Fighting to inch closer, at last, Jaehyun looks down at you and pushes hair away from your pained face.

“Color?”

“Green, Jae. Fuck.”

“You want me to be nice?”

Nodding resolutely, your mewl does little to deter Jaehyun from still jerking off. He licks at his lower lip, in dire need to compete with your strong will.

“Then beg.”

Huffing, you close your eyes. “Please.”

“Do better.”

The slick sounds of his hand moving on his member have your walls clenching down on nothing.

“Please, Jae. Please.”

“God, I wanna paint that pretty face of yours.” Your eyes are getting wet from how desperate you are.

Ass wriggling in the air, you sob out, “I can’t stand it anymore, Jae, I swear if you don’t fucking do something right now—!”

He chuckles and takes his hand away from his dick. Going down to plant a peck on your raw-bitten lips, Jaehyun gives into your commands without any more delays.

“So needy, my girl.”

Your thighs shake in anticipation, warm hands enveloping your waist and tugging it flush to Jaehyun’s stiff member. He ruts between your legs, bumping into your sensitive clit. You can’t hide your yearning anymore, moaning from the simplicity of being touched anywhere near your core again.

Jaehyun seizes the bottom of your thin gown, wrinkling it in his journey to shove it up to your armpits. You clamp down on the light silk material for Jaehyun to roam your breasts easier. Your shared moans of gratification at his tip catching on your entrance forces your butt to ram back.

“I gotta prepare you first, darling, relax for a second,” Jaehyun mutters breathless, quickly playing with your wetness now.

“No, no, I’m good. Please, Jae, I need you right now. Green, green, green.” You couldn’t care less how whiney you sounded anymore.

He sinks a finger into your hot walls and instantly starts pumping in and out, groaning obscenely at the temperature and feeling his balls tighten.

“I can’t, I’ll hurt you.”

“I couldn't care less right now, baby, please. Green!”

Jaehyun adds another finger, curling and scissoring to make sure. The whimpers flying out your mouth work in combination with the signature hard quivering of your entire body. From being held on the edge for so long, he isn’t surprised you’re on the cusp of an orgasm.

“I’m so close, Jae, I can’t—”

Rocking fast in tandem with Jaehyun’s thrusting hand, you come hard, moaning long into the sheets and drooling. You barely register Jaehyun retracting from your insanely tight pussy, only to replace his long fingers with his round tip.

Shoving past your clenched entrance, you’re worked into oversensitivity, edging on delicious pain and pleasure as Jaehyun knocks his way into you. Meek noises spill past your mouth, fully heard as soon as Jaehyun roughly tugs at the belt locking your biceps back. You’re lifted off the mattress as Jaehyun leans back, using his weight to drive back into your spasming walls with force.

Breathless as he curses, his other free hand that gripped your left hip goes to yank at your hair. Jaehyun prods at a spot he’s never reached before and you jerk at the sensation, vocal cords being ripped to shreds at the noises you’re making.

Unable to handle the position anymore, Jaehyun forces your front to lay flat, practically mounting you as he kneels on the bed. He digs his hand to position under your belly while the other arm’s elbow locks beside your head.

He knocks at your chin to mouth at your shoulder, the guttural growl that sounds out just at your ear has your cunt tightening.

“Fuck, I can feel myself, right here,” Jaehyun pushes up at your soft belly, placing pressure on his cock working in and out of you. He whispers his next sentence but you catch it easily.

“Wanna knock you up so damn bad.”

The words make you cry out and you abandon your laxness, pushing your ass up to meet Jaehyun now.

“Oh, you want that? Hm? You want me to fill you up, stuff you full?”

You curse, nodding your head because no sensible words will come out from how well you’re being pounded. Jaehyun spreads your cheeks, pulling away from your upper half to work into you faster and chase his high.

With a drawn-out groan, he releases into you, slowly easing out as he goes and pumps himself of everything he has. Jaehyun paints your pussy with his final spurt, collapsing with only his upper half on the sheets to watch you ooze out his essence.

“Holy… fucking shit, I love you.”

You’re too tired to even reply, kicking your calves in the air and spreading your thighs at the command of Jaehyun. At his prodding this time, you utter, “Yellow,” pulling Jaehyun’s hand away from your puffy cunt.

“You okay, love?” Jaehyun throws himself while catching his breath on the bed, laying beside you as he undoes the belt with haste. You spread your arms at freedom, tiredly rubbing at the red spots created from the belt.

“Baby?” Jae tilts up in concern.

“Oh, sorry. Yes, I’m okay, sorry.” He runs up to kiss your mouth, while at it, tugging at your waist and laying you down on top of his chest.

He’s rubbing his cheek against yours, placing the softest kisses on every inch of your face in adoration. You giggle at the sensation of one on your nose again, eyes closed but feeling the way Jaehyun grins broadly at the sound.

“Can you say it one more time? One more?”

His voice is deep but oh so light; you smile and open your eyelids to absorb Jaehyun’s plea properly.

“You gonna keep making me reiterate myself so much?”

Jaehyun nods cutely. Landing a long, loving kiss on his plush lips, you tell him again. You’ve told him and will tell him for as long as you will live:

“I love you.”

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