#I’m getting new glasses

[himbo-ford-pines]

Hello stanbel shippers I’m here to f e e d you. This is for a fic trade with @baddog-nobiting !! They ordered something pretty yummy and cute and uhhhhh yeah 🙈🥵👉👈 here u go babe

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“Mabel, the remote.” Stan grunted, pointing at it across the room while doinh his best not to move from his spot in the worn recliner.

Mabel got up from her spot and grabbed it. “You have to say please, Grunkle Stan, we talked about this.” She stood in front of the tv and crossed her arms.

Stanley scowled. “Mabel, it’s my house. My cable, that I pay for. Hand it over.” He held out his hand, looking at her with his infamous “no buts” expression.

She huffed and climbed into his lap, pouting at him and giving him her best doe-eyed baby girl look. “Well can I at least sit up here with you?” The gears were turning in her head. She would get a please out of him whether he liked it or not.

“Course sweetie.” He kissed her hair and plucked the remote out of her hand, noting the (slightly smudged and fingerprinted) rainbow nail polish on her fingers. “I like your nails. You gonna do mine?” He joked, pinching her side.

“When you ask me politely.” She crossed her arms defiantly.

He rolled his eyes and changed the channel, pulling his girl closer to his body. He kept a firm hand on her hip.

After a few minutes, he began tugging at her skirt, nuzzling and mouthing at her neck and jaw.

She laid her head back, baring her neck to him and humming happily. His hand started to snake into her star-printed panties and she grabbed his wrist. He looked at her in surprise. “What? Not in the mood tonight pumpkin?”

“You didn’t ask, Grunkle Stan.” She grinned innocently at him, showing off her rainbow braces that matched her rainbow nails.

“I never ask.” He teased. “I’m your Grunkle, I don’t have to.” He started to rub over her crotch. “Besides, you’re sitting here soaking wet, princess. Why don’t you let me fix it.” He started trying to get into her underwear again and she leaned down and bit him solidly. He pulled back, rubbing spit his forearm. “Ow, seriously? Fine, then you can just sit there.” He adjusted so his hard cock that sat tenting his boxers was pressing right down the middle of her ass and they sat in silence like that for a while, watching tv until Mabel fell asleep. When Stanley noticed, he picked her up and carried her to bed, muttering about having to take care of himself.

He was irritable the next day, scowling while he made breakfast. Stanford came in from a long night downstairs to refill his coffee. “Good morning.” He kissed the back of Stanley’s neck and wrapped an arm around him, resting his large hand on his brother’s chest. “What’s wrong? You’re burning your pancakes.”

Stan cursed and shut off the stove. “…. Mabel wouldn’t put out last night.”

“That’s what you’re pissed about? She has a right to say no.”

“It’s not that. She didn’t say no. She… said I had to ‘ask politely’. You know, say please.”

There was quiet for a moment before Ford laughed loudly and let go of him. “You know, I was gonna take care of that grouchy attitude but… I think I’m with our great niece on this one.” He smirked in satisfaction when Stan blinked.

“Wha- fine! I don’t need you, I have old righty here!” He held up his right hand. “And he never says no!” He huffed and started breakfast over, and Ford left the kitchen snickering.

Needless to say, Stan’s hand didn’t do the trick, it didn’t even touch the carnal need in his pants. He sighed and trudged into the living room after trying to finish in his bedroom for the last hour, pausing at the sight of the kids playing video games in their underwear. His cock twitched. Goddammit. “Okay, shoo. Get.” He started waving them out of the living room. “Go hit each other with sticks or whatever it is you do.” He plopped down in his chair, eyeing them both. “Why the hell are you naked anyway?”

“We’re not naked, and it’s like a bajillion degrees in here dude.” Dipper crossed his arms. “Can we please turn the AC up?”

“When you start-“

“Paying the electric bill, I know I know.” The tween rolled his eyes. “Come on Mabel, let’s go to the creek.” They ran upstairs to get their bathing suits on and Stan leaned back, reaching into his pants to try again to rub one out. By the time they came downstairs he was sweaty and irritated, watching tv with an insipid look on his face. Dipper yelled up to Mabel that he would race her outside and he bolted through the living room without a second glance at Stan.

“That’s not fair, I’m still tying my swimsuit!” She whined at her brother as she followed him down. Stan looked up, taking in the young girl in her fucking red and white polka dot bikini. God. Dammit. he grabbed her wrist as she ran by.

“Hey! I’m gonna lose!”

“Please.” He muttered through grit teeth.

Mabel blinked at him then squealed and grinned. “Say it again!”

“Oh come on!”

“Do iiiiiit.”

“…..” he sighed heavily. “Please Mabel; please, please, please.”

“Please… what?” She bit her lip, still grinning. She was eating this up.

“God- please get your hands dirty for me.” He covered his face with one hand, bright red.

“Okay! Since you asked sooo nicely.” She kissed his cheek and got on her knees on the carpet in front of him, before wrapping both her hands around his cock and squeezing. He moaned lowly, leaning his head back. “Fuck… thank you…”

“You’re learning so fast Grunkle Stan.” She kissed the tip of his cock before going down on him.

[doctorsiren]

How would the Bill situation go in the monster hunter pines au?

Ford would definitely still summon Bill. He’s a curious guy and so of *course* he’d read a random ancient incantation out loud still. Bill then does what he does in canon and sweet talk Ford and gain his trust, slowly turning him against his brother while also trying to keep Stanley from figuring out what’s going on

The issue here though is that Stanley can see through BS quite easily. He’s not one that can be tricked, and so he gets on Bill’s trail faster than Bill anticipated

I’m not sure how the later stuff would go down yet, but there’s that at least

It’s kind of like in my Moth Psycho 100 AU with Mogami and Reigen at first, how Reigen is under the impression that the voice in his head is his only true friend and the only one he can really trust because he’s just been so isolated

[raplinenthusiasts]

Outro: TEAR

© namuspromised

[little-pondhead]

Rick Astley Is Haunting You

-

Someone bets Tucker he can’t hack into a hero’s patrol playlist and sneak a Rick Roll in there. He does, easily, and finds that said hero has horrible music taste.

So he sets out to hijack every hero’s music playlist he can find and rate their music tastes on a chart, sometimes adding in his own music or joke songs he thinks they’d like. It only gets back to the heroes when Tucker posts a video with his rankings. Up until then, they thought it was another hero or new villain messing with them. Not a civilian??

(Nightwing’s playlist is sixth on the list, and he’s furious about it.)

[charlotte-family-apologist]

Suchin in her 30s versus her at 19 (aka before her life went to shit)

[sincericida]

TASM Peter Parker came back? Or did TASM Peter Parker never leave?

[finleycannotdraw]

welcome to part two of “benoit blanc is fucking gay”, sketchdump edition!

I don’t understand how there aren’t more people obsessed with these two. like!!! THE FUNKY DETECTIVE (WHO IS A FAR BETTER CHARACTER THAN BBC SHERLOCK) IS CANONICALLY QUEER WITH A CANONICAL HUSBAND!!! their relationship is built out of fanfic material— we see phillip for like 20 seconds and have no idea what he does or how they met!!

basically if y’all don’t start writing more fanfic then I’m going to do it myself <3

also I’d appreciate if you guys zoomed in on these! I think they’re super cute :)

[thejadecount]

I love how with each new installment of TMNT Donnie just becomes more unhinged. Like we’re gonna cut to the Mutant Mayhem movie and Donnie’s online human persona is going to be some cyber-terrorist who’s a known war criminal in at least 24 countries.

[jcryptid]

Have to routinely stop myself from bashing myself for making characters certain races and genders bc “what if this is insanely offensive to some people?” by asking one very simple question:

Do people like this actively exist?

If the answer is yes, then maybe I can stop feeling bad about giving my beautiful, disabled, black, baby boy dnd character a love of the colour pink.

Ya know, bc art is all about translation, and people are gonna people regardless of if some random asshole on the internet decides their existence is problematic.

[birddcandle]

Do you know how much the people of Hels would pay for canary feathers?

I read the one ask about the feather farm and. Yeah here we are

this is art for @lunarcrown and @aquaquadrant ‘s Hels To Pay AU!! It’s so good the writing and drawings are IMPECCABLE

[libra-cant-just-dance]

Might be an unpopular opinion but I don’t like the little smiley face avatars they had pre-JD23.

I like avatars you can customize and they look like something you should be able to make your own of! They mock me. And most of them are boring. I can only excuse the new avatars because it’s cool full body art of the characters (and sometimes the art is really good!!)

[howdoyousleep3]

the true definition of “felt cute might delete later” but…🥺🙈

[transbearanvy]

Thinking about how when I was younger and couldn’t get sex toys I would get beer bottles out of the trash and fuck myself on them. Thinking about someone stretching me out on their empties, using me as a diversion while they day drink. Thinking about them filling me up with beer, about the foam running down my thighs while I try and stay in position with my ass in the air. Thinking about getting drunker and drunker from the alcohol passing through the tissues until I can’t move. Thinking about getting fucked and I’m so full of beer I slosh, until I can’t tell if I’m cumming or if I’m blacked out.

[storybounded]

This is my word of warning…do not cut things when hungry, or you may cut the wrong thing you thought was right 😂

[arinishi]

I said this in the comments of the new TGS page already but I’m gonna put it on here too 👀

I think there’s an important difference in how Jekyll treats Lanyon after their night together.

All the other boys that Lanyon was with were immediately flustered by Lanyon’s flirting and allowed him to have more power in their relationship; they ended up putting Lanyon on a pedestal of sorts. With that power that Lanyon is given by the other boys, he feels as though leaving them is easier, almost punishing them for their vulnerability.

But with Henry, I’m expecting that he doesn’t respond to Lanyon in the same way as everyone else did. He knows what will happen if he shows signs of attachment, so he acts just as casually as Lanyon does. He treats him like an equal in their relationship, as though their feelings and wants are the same. This “lack of attachment” ends up meaning that their relationship lasts eight months and Lanyon is devastated to end it, so I wonder what the progression of feelings was like over that time for both Jekyll and Lanyon 👀✨

[seventh-district]

sometimes it’s late at night and you’re cleaning your room and you come across a few old black and white photos of a young girl and you stare at them for a long minute wondering how on earth they got lost in an old Kroger shopping bag with an unopened pack of cigarettes and a receipt dated 2017.

and you look at the girl in the pictures sat on the floor of someone’s home you don’t recognize, smiling and playing with a set of keys and a tiny part of you feels like it recognizes her but you aren’t sure.

and you flip the pictures over hoping to find some sort of annotation that would give you context and all you find is the year 1964 stamped in tiny font along the edge.

and you flip them back over and time stands still as you realize that the recognition you feel is because she looks so much like you once did and next thing you know your hands are sweating and shaking and you have to sit on the floor because you’re crying so hard because it hits you all at once that you’re looking at your mother.