#I’m getting back into reading ig
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I finished reading volume 15 of Chainsaw Man and I just wanted to ask if reading volumes 1-4 is recommended? I got volumes 5-15 because the anime leaves off at 5 but after reading the whole thing I’m thinking about getting the first 4 volumes but idk cause this shit can get pricey
Just wanting to know if theres any info that got left out or if the volumes are just good reads
#chainsaw man#chainsaw man manga#pls lmk if you’d recommend reading these volumes#I’m thinking about it but iiidk#I’m obsessed with this shit bro#I looove this shit#I love Denji bro#he is just such a stupid idiot and I love him#I have volume 16 preordered and I’m HYPED#I have to wait until September thooo#the only other manga I have is the first 3 volumes of beastars lmaoo#I did order the summer hikaru died tho#I heard it’s reeeeaally good#I’m getting back into reading ig#as long as I got pictures to look at🤗
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Thinking of the absolute tragedy that is Leo and Jason
#it’s so sad#like Leo ‘dies’ and then when he finally gets back Jason dies before they get to see each other again#it’s just so fucked up#I wish they got to reunite😭😭#like take this as platonic or romantic it’s still devastating#when I tell u I was sobbing when I read leo and Piper finding out Jason is gone—#Ig that’s what fics r for💀#honestly tho like talk abt tragic#idk why this was suddenly on my mind but now I’m sad abt it#leo valdez#jason grace#pjo hoo toa#valgrace#<< kinda Ig#this isn’t even mentioning having like an entire set of false memories of someone#like that includes Piper too but DAMN that would suck#‘where’s Jason’#😖😭😭#my stuff
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hey guys do y’all remrmber me ..... i am alive and doing well 👍👍
#very VERY sorry for suddenly leaving so long ago#idk i just. leave my social media accs randomly sometimes idk sometimes i need space ig#but i wanna try n be a lil more active on here again <3#a lot has happened since i’ve truly been active on here but welp such is life#i have an active dnd campaign n more close friends now#and i almost booked tickets for the bronze vb olympia match !!#sadly they were all sold out :(#there’s still some old ass asks in my inbox i wanna get to eventually !! taku n anon z i see ur asks! i will answer them !!#might take me a bit to get used to tumblr again. generally not sure just how active i’ll be#we’ll see ig#in case anyone actually reads this especially if i know you: hey!! hello !! i missed you all :((#especially taku n anon z ofc !! <3#bc i mostly only rlly talked to you guys haha#i’m on anti depressants now n actually doing much better in case. anyone was wondering haha#and i’m once again neck deep in a tokrev phase bc i just got a friend into it (we watched the whole of s1 together)#(it took us 5 days)(we were on a school trip n didn’t have anything better to do)#so. uh. yeah#hopefully expect some tokrev stuff from me :3#glad to be back guys <3#really missed this tbh#☆—`elys rambles
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reading 1984, why is there a whole section which is just a manifesto and explaining history i am so bored
#not intellectual enough for this book ig#i was interested but now i’m just bored get me back to the plot i bed#bookblr#reading#1984#currently reading#books and reading
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turns out. i hallucinated that i read the first percy jackson book.
middle school me was wild.
#i think i got the idea from the movie and word of mouth. and then used that to read the next two books#and then i stopped#MMMM monkey i blame you for making me want to get back into percy jackson#im bringing my whole dnd group chat with me if i have to#i’m. so excited.#i gotta buy the first book ig#percy jackson#🐊#speck rambles
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#sry I need to vent more abt my tattoo pain bc I physically cannot do anything productive rn im completely and totally incapacitated#can’t read anything beyond short posts or texts. can’t eat or move at all#tried to sleep through it so it would at least Be Tomorrow so I can get medical help. but the jolts of pain make me like Jump#hence me being sent home from work early today like it’s not even that I was complaining I was just flinching involuntarily so much#and was unable to work or function at all. thank god I don’t work retail rn I remember the pain of tattoo infections in that context#it’s so Abrupt it feels like I’m being stabbed or repeatedly bitten#literally trying not to scream bc I have a roommate. but he almost certainly hears me crying and saying ouch#which sucks bc I barely know the guy lol he has no context. At least on my drive home I could scream as much as I needed#literally would go to the ER if I could afford it and that sounds so dramatic bc it is#it doesn’t feel like it can wait. genuinely don’t know how I’m gonna get through the night#I haven’t slept in like 60 hours and I doubt I will tonight. but it hurts too much to even tell if I’m tired#and I don’t have time for this!! I have so much I need to be doing. I hate that the only way I can have Time is to be Extra Disabled#in a way that leaves me completely unable to do the things I normally can fight through despite burnout#and I was just at health services yesterday asking them to do insurance paperwork that they couldn’t do#it’s embarrassing having to be like hey I was just there but can I come back#I have Another tattoo infection but I pinky promise I take such good care of them#and my artist is like the best of the best too. it’s like it doesn’t matter what either of us does to keep me safe#and I know if anyone responds to this it will be to tell me to stop getting tattoos#but that’s literally like telling me not to get top surgery if I’m immunocompromised n might have recovery complications#both are equally important gender affirming medical procedures to me I’m not joking#and I hate always having to justify this whilst in agonizing pain. I hate answering the same things every time bc still no one believes me#I say this as someone who lives every moment in baseline pain that would have your average person writhing on the floor and I ignore it#this is truly unbearable if I hadn’t been through it a million times I would think it was life threatening#just needed to get it out ig. bc it’s all I can physically do. until health services opens in 12 hours#PLEASE let them have availability tomorrow bc i have literally no option on weekends#this is just. so upsetting and embarrassing. I don’t have time or emotional capacity for this#personal#mine#vent post
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literally being an insane stalker on the Fraudulent Instagram i made … teehee
#stream#ALSKALSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLALSLA#did i synch contacts ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) yes#literally girl …#i’m not even going to say it#basically stalked an ex by tracking down the number & then synching contacts to the ig so it’ll show me their ig but i just found it by#going to their business & then finding their follower then going to the profile [privated]: small follower small following - track down the#followers by going through the ‘recommended’ start cross referencing through THEIR recommended#i think i found 8/~30ish -> went through comments & likes to see what posts/when posted then eventually found this guy that was recommended#on a recommended ok so i was going through then i was like oh haha he has a dog anyways … keep going i see another post 👁️👁️ i Know that dog#I KNOW THAT ROOM ‼️#I KNOW THE GUY SITTING AT THE DESK#ok so go through this guys posts & start cross checking then ‼️ I KNOW THOSE STAIRS ok keep going#I RECOGNIZE THAT LANYARD ….#ALSKALKSLAKSLAKSLAKSLAKSLAKSLA#piecing it together …#then PIECING THE PIECES ?#ok so i start commenting#ALSKALSKALKSLAKSLAKSLAKSLAKSLAKSLAKSLAKSLA#THEN I READ THE MOST RECENT POST: 5HRS AGO#OF THE DOG I KNOW - read the comment ALSKALSKLAKSALKSLAKSLA OKOKOKOKOK#now back track to my calendar to find out when i was crazy last#ADDING UP THE PIECES#ok so this his new man#( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)#time to play games#ALSKALKSLAKSLAKSLAKSLAKSLAKSLAKLKALKALSKAL#i’m abt to invent a whole character#i was born in 1972 & i’m mexican … as is the new boyfriend ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)#ALSKALKSLAKSLA ILL ROPE MY FLATMATE INTO IT & GET MEXICAN SLANG
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noping out li k e
#in other news i just realised that i do not have any clean bgs for lxl’s lesson room from honeypre and i. just. lolllll#i have like a million screenshots of literally every other place in honeypre b u t lxl’s lesson room. that’s just. lmaoooooo#ueueueurhdhchjdsjs w h a t e v e r no one’s gonna care about every single screen transition in ny aizo anyway#(as though anyone would even read it lol)#anyway. um. the chlorpheniramine isn’t working and my nose is still running from my allergies#soooo ig i’ll try to get chapter 1 of ny aizo done while i’m still unable to sleep lol. i really need to buy more antihistamines……….#or maybe i should just splurge on a vacuum cleaner to succcccc up all the dust so that i won’t have to buy allergy meds again…#y ea h that sounds like a plan. go me im so smart omg#i should totally get the one that looks like a bazooka… but hopefully i won’t get too lazy to use it lol#hm. anyway. i should get back to ny aizo. lmao.#染BODY ONCE TOLD ME—
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maybe im just very hard to please when it comes to media lately but I didn’t really like this bsd episode
#im a casual fan so not passionately upset but yea wasn’t really a fan 😭 but idk what could’ve happened since I’ve had concerns all season#I feel a little Ough 🤕 about being negative for bsd+csm+jjk in most of my recent posts ahdhdnsnfj#and it. MIGHT just be me bc it seems like no one has issues w bsd/csm but. idk all of these have felt shakier in their plot and characters#like all of these I’ve been like: oh wow I LOVE this character or scene but overall?? hm#still like all of them but trying to be more detached since I wanna enjoy what I can#im a firm believer of just dropping something if I don’t like it but the problem is I still like these enough 😭 but anyway#going to become a little more casual and just have fun without getting upset lol lol#oh but spoilers for bsd anime and the jjk leaks for chapter: kind of funny how these both came out#and I have VERY similar but different issues w them#and. I guess csm manga spoilers: I was spoiled on Quanxi coming back so that’s good ig. still waiting for chapters to stack until I read#the stuff wfumiko was :| so I’m not in the mood to read yet. i feel bad quanxi doesn’t have her gfs
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The day I decide not to hold back on my art and draw with no fear is the day society progresses 🫶🏼
#like sometimes i wanna draw certain things but then u remember on certain platforms (cough insta cough) u have a certain audience ig#and then u stare at that blank canvas and overthink what u might draw#ok how do I word things#like I’m kinda a perfectionist so I’m slow at producing art#but everyone says that practicing everyday is better#and slowly u’ll get faster#if I drew something and posted everyday (which is something I want to do) I know I’m probably gonna see cool results#but also art is something u should do to enjoy and ik u don’t have to draw all the time for the sake of improvement#improvement vs leisure vs motivation in art is such a wacky edged sword#cause yeah motivation to draw is needed to but that comes from discipline#art is a mixture of discipline and passion#like yeah I’m passionate about what I create but I need more discipline to get better and make more art#cause I love creating#but I also like consuming#I’m a giant reader and like the inspo and enjoyment I get from reading and fics makes me happy#when I know I could also be using that time to do art#yet I’m still getting inspiration from what I consume#like a feedback loop#anyway where was I going with this rant?#I don’t want to hold back when I see a blank canvas thinking aboht what I like that my audience might like#like I love making Kirby art and wow so many of my followers came from those kirby art pieces I make I’m really happy they connected#but also at the back of my head the next time I draw I’m like should I draw Kirby again cause people like it?#I wouldn’t mind but also I want to draw a bit of everything <3#with no added pressure on myself lol#so yeah the day I get over this and draw with no fear is the day maybe not society progresses but me progressing the way I want to#cause I have so many things I want to draw and create and write#i’ll work on this soon I just needed to get my thoughts down#but one day the art world better watch out just saying#Bella rambles
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man i have soooooo many thoughts abt the sasaki to miyano authors rules on reposting their manga panels 🥲
#because like .. at the end if that’s what the artist wants then there’s no way you can go against it because they Made the manga you Have to#respect their wishes because it’s their work and that’s obvious#but also . idk it diminishes all the excitement abt the manga#like you can no longer talk abt specific scenes or expressions or cute panels etc#this is what kinda made me lose interest in this authors works ngl it just .. doesn’t hit the same#but that is the artists wish so nothing can be done#like i get altering panels even by colouring and stuff but not being allowed to repost (without the official hashtag ofc) is rly sad. 😭#and i’m not talking like the entire chapter ofc but rly just little panels etc to help when you’re talking abt a specific scene#i do that sm with witch hat and jjk lol and it really elevates my excitement and love ?? and i love when other ppl talk back to me abt those#scenes#i think it’s also jarring because i’ve never seen other authors post abt this many specific rules but ig it’s common in japanese fandom but#we’re just not exposed to it#it’s like when you read a book and you wanna post abt certain quotes and lines#like how else do you reference that exact thing yknow other than showing it when it’s manga panels 😭
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the more I describe the kind of stories I like reading the more my roommate tells me that orv would be perfect for me.
#I am really enjoying it dont get me wrong but I’m in the agonies and haven’t read anything not academic related in ages#I want to pick it back up cause I really like it and the brain goes BRRRRR#ig there is some hesitance cause what will I do with myself after I finish lol#someone should do a post on media like orv. also don’t mind me constructing an intricate plane of what the media I like has in common#when it gets filled out… you’ll see#also since I’m here talking to myself I might as well muse about the blame comic I want to do that in retrospect. will be pretty long#so maybe I should do it in like. zine format#jkb.talk
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Giving your main character amnesia for this long is such a gamble and I’m still on the fence
#you can argue that it’s about the nature vs nurture and who would she be without her trauma#but honestly I just really liked her for her fucked up morals#and now she doesn’t have them and honestly she’s become kinda basic#like how she keeps clinging on to uk caring even tho he’s straight up said no#and she just seems more meh#like she was really cool bc she was powerful (both with her powers but also her personality without them)#and I just don’t think the new actor doesn’t it for me#bc she’s played so innocent and pretty and more quaint it doesn’t seem like the same character to me#like I really liked the first season and couldn’t get enough#now I’m on s2 and I don’t have to same want to keep watching at all#but I’m still really curious about her getting her memory back so I’m gonna keep at it but still#it’s like I’m tda when Julian locked away his emotions#it makes sense plot wise but it really made him a boring character to read…..#me#alchemy of souls#yeah I just saw 2 minutes more and that’s what’s annoying me#she was a really interesting strong kinda fucked up /female/ character#now she’s just… kinda like every other female character ig….
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So
Earlier I woke up at like 8 or something bc of the back pain
I feel bad for falling back asleep when the pain softened, falling asleep until NOON
I mean technically I didn’t sleep the whole time I scrolled for like an hour while I waited for the pain to ease
I feel bad for the scrolling for an hour I could’ve gotten up then to work out or just. Idk I feel bad for scrolling I could have slept some more during that time and then wouldn’t have gotten up so late
Wait
I’m still on holiday right?
I can relax.
Pretend I said that without the short sentence and full stop structure
I was supposed to workout from this morning but 1. Haven’t really eaten in 24 hours and 2. Pain.
I do actually think exercise will help with the pain but I think it’s better I do it later on in the evening after I’ve eaten properly and after I’ve walked about during the day, stretched, given my body some light work to flex and warm up with
See I’m still taking care of myself! *coughs*Evenifireallywanttoloseweight*coughs*
#star speaks#really do want to work on the scrolling tbh tumblr scrolling is fine but IG not so much#I don’t wanna have a ridiculous screen time over something I do to fill time when I know I’d prefer a book 😓#it takes away from my hobby time!#I’m gonna get back to reading today Insha’Allah ^_^#not much else I can do with this level of period pain 💀
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this is sick actually
#blahblahblah#lost Scotland#it’s actually crazy to me how many people were waiting for a chance to fuck my shit up#it was literally war after war#thank god I have Poland to fall back on#I’m also polish now because accidentally clicked a decision without reading#but it worked out ig now people won’t revolt against me for that#I’m done playing I’m getting too stressed out ✌🏻#idk if anyone reads these but if you do thanks for sticking with me 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
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#proceed at your own risk i’m back again w/ more shit#had to text my therapist today bc i had like#come to the realization that i was craving the pain that i got when i used to sh#i’m not an active harm to myself i wouldn’t do it again and im not suicidal#but i just had this intense need to have the same pain i got when i sh’d#& scared my mom <3 & she told me to text my therapist <3#she told me to journal and idk how to fucking do that#so i have trauma workbooks coming in tomorrow as well as a copy of wreck this journal#i figured wrecking the journal would be the closest i can get to sh without actually doing it#idk my life fucking sucks rn and i want things to be fucking done i want to be future me not going through this#i feel like i’m being too dependent on bean for comfort and like that’s fucking dumb#i feel bad for just not being okay even tho i know it’s okay to not be okay especially rb#i also just knwo#that my dad is waiting for me to come back to him#hat in hand and tail between my legs to apologize for being mean to him :-(#bc obviously i’m the one who did everything wrong!#i hate being the 7 year old hiding in the pantry#i’ve been hiding in the pantry my whole life to make my dad comfortable#it also hurts to read back on the screenshots and see that my dad just doesn’t give a fuck about me#like i’m not purposely doing it but i have to remember detials when i talk about it to my mom#and it’s just a big ol reminder that my dad didn’t refute any part of my texts#that said i never felt like i was important to him or that i was an afterthought or i wasn’t a priority to him#like he cherry picked things he responded to#he focused on me calling my sister the favorite child and the park i chose instead of like#literally anything else#he apologized for making me feel like an afterthought but never told me that i wasn’t one to him which ig is nitpicky#but he never once in any of the messages tries to comfort me or reassure me that what i was saying wasn’t true#plus he threw in my face that HES been through trauma and he was just SHARING his childhood with his KIDS#like thanks dad! say it with your whole chest you don’t give a fuck about what you did to me! or the affect it’s had on me#he ‘didn’t want to trigger me’ but dude you fucking made things right with your EX WIFE and not your fucking SON
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