#I’m digesting this art
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Wonder who he’s watching.
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#DAtV#Emmrich volkarin#my art#scribbly scribbly#this is the 97th emmy piece I’ve drawn#at least pieces with him in it cos if I count individually per upload it’s more than 100 already ahaha#goddamn#fun to have a strong muse#it makes the brain do crazy things#I wonder if I’ll slow when the game releases#probably#cos I’d need time to indulge and digest#ahhhh I’m so excited
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Hello, finally made reference sheets for Tidally Locked au. I also changed Narinder’s design a little bit, I didn’t like how the first one’s coloring came out. Sorry if my handwriting is bad
#narilamb#tidally locked au#cotl narinder#cotl lamb#cult of the lamb#cotl fanart#cult of the lamb fanart#cotl narilamb#cotl#my art#tw blood#tw cannibalism#i guess#narinder always at the scene of the crime istg#sirender#hi gang I’m going nuts rn#btw fun fact lamb being a vegetarian is based on me being a vegetarian irl (I can’t digest meat lol)#‘why do you draw Narinder so big??’ GET OUT OF MY HOUSE#‘’’’’for scale’’’’’#what who said thay
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Some recent thoughts about nonhumanity and my relationship to the community + my personal relationship with it that I cleaned up, my writing style is a bit disjointed, I would like to share more of my writing, if anyone would be interested in seeing that :)
#I have a lot of thoughts about nonhumanity that I don’t know how to share#feel like there is such a communal focus on misinfo and easily digestible “content”#that there’s no space to talk about anything else that no one would care to look.#Not that there is anything wrong with that focus and not to say that I am exempt from participating in it!#I just don’t want that to be what represents me and the only way I engage in this community yk?#I want to spend most of my time talking to people who I have similar experiences to#not explaining things to people that are new to the space or just coming into their identities#which again there’s nothing wrong with that! everybody starts somewhere#(again I’m not an exception lol!)#I also have some misplaced resentment that I need to sort out I think idk it’s hard to sort.#It’s also hard to be okay with caring this much about stuff like this at all#i try not to be embarrassed i am anyway.#It comes with the territory of having mental stuff I guess lol can’t help being a freak!#nonhumanity#therian#canine therian#therianthropy#otherkin#therian art#nonhuman#dog therian#alterhuman#therian community#nonhuman community#coyote therian#kin#coyote kin#canine kin
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I would like to formally state that this is unfinished and kinda lazy because I wanted to draw but I’ve also been in agony and nauseous the whole day bc I’m pretty sure I have a stomach bug so over the course of 4ish hours and my meds running out I made this
Enjoy :)
#I’m almost upset I haven’t thrown up yet because it would be more relieving that having to just sit with my entire digestive system#being awful#winx#winx club#winx rewrite#my art#winx redesign#digital art#winx stella#winx enchantix
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#soft vore#g/t vore#male pred#fatal vore#implied digestion#multiple prey#safe vore#digestion#oral vore#internal#I’d also apply a discount if u want it of my ocs!!#I’m gonna keep requests open but get a little more selective :’)#but I might make it so if u can send me like a kofi receipt or something#I’ll make sure ur doodle gets done!!!#I also can draw detailed art too I just don’t draw it often bc of the time it takes#but!!!#also how do u price these thangs lol#also it will make sure no minors get art from me Extra Sexure. bc you have to be an adult to have PayPal.
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A quick poll for the furry side of my lurkers!
#I genuinely curious bc I had a conversation with someone who didn’t even know that I post fics here#art is much slower to produce for me and I’m tempted to answer some of these asks with fics instead of art.#I know art is just easier to visually digest but I put my back into many of these stories too!#hopefully y’all won’t get too upset if some of the asks are answered with fics and not art; drawing with a roommate is not easy!!!
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network effect 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥺🥺🥺🥹🥹
#pers#don’t even know what to say i’m just digesting. ARTTTTTTTTT ART YOU ARE MY FRIENDDDDDDDDD AUGHHHHHHH#so many good aspects of this book man. so many layers. yum ugh
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The older I get the more I understand Hayao Miyazaki cause yeah Anime was a mistake. It became a soul sucking popularity contest where fans will literally dickride the most mediocre series know to man. It became something no longer for the art but for the consumer, to continue to consume until there is nothing left. It became an empty husk that sticks to the status quo and no longer breaks it. It became nothing. I know I have no room to talk since I still watch some shows, mainly niches ones, but even then my stance is still firm. I like anime but I will never be a fan of it.
#I think I just hate the anime bros who made the community a living hell for me#they don’t like art they like fantastical waifu bait#as someone who draws waifu bait I can say this waifu bait is not high art it’s simple and easy to digest#I will never be van gogh but damn it I want my art to make people feel something#I’m not at that level yet but hopefully one day#Xinnamoon rambles
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codependent!art donaldson who’s scared to make you mad.
he’s actually afraid of making you feel any sort of negative emotion at all, actually. and it’s not the kind of ‘afraid’ that he can laugh off.
no, no, no; it’s the kind that motivates him to shrink himself down into something more digestible for you. something that you can chew up and spit out and discard repeatedly, over and over again—like gum. it’s a sickening cycle that he enables, even if he won’t admit it.
he lets you suck the flavor and enjoyment out of his life in favor of making you happy. he’ll always make himself smaller for you if it makes you feel powerful and in-control.
so when you yell at him after he’s done nothing but try to make you feel worshipped all night in front of your friends, he can’t help the tears that well in his eyes. his entire expression crumples.
he whimpers and paws at your hips, big drops of sadness rolling down his flushed cheeks as he sniffles, and then pushes his hips into yours.
“i’m sorry,” he breathes out, his voice breaking, “i’m sorry, baby, i’m so sorry… please…”
when you don’t budge, he steps back with a sense of frantic urgency and begins stripping off his clothes. his shirt falls down to the bedroom floor, then his sneakers are kicked off, and then his pants. he’s tenting achingly in his boxers with the need to make everything better.
art reaches out again, but for your wrist this time. his thumb brushes your soft skin. he hiccups wetly. he slides his touch to rest over the back of your hand, and then directs it down to press against his pelvis. his fingers curl over the backs of yours, silently encouraging you to grope at him.
he’s taller than you, but you can feel the way he’s mentally curling into himself. it’s pathetic and it’s sad and it’s doing nothing but making you feel guilty. you don’t want to have sex with him, you want to shut him out.
“touch me,” he gasps, his clothed boner pressing into your palm desperately as he steps closer, “please, touch me… use me.. you can fuck me however you want.. i need—i love you..”
he buries his face into your neck, his arms both moving to wrap around the back of you, before his strong legs go shaky and he’s slowly sliding down onto one knee. and then the other goes. he cries into your frame, his cock bobbing and leaking in his briefs.
it takes another minute or two of your continued silent treatment for him to look up from his seat on the floor, fingertips digging into the meat of your thighs. his eyes meet your own; all wet lashes and puffiness over his lids.
“please don’t leave me.”
#cw toxic relationship#angst#i <3 toxic smut sry#codependency is NOT fun but writing about it is cathartic#i mean this is just an abusive dynamic ugh#reader mercilessly fucks him for the next two hours after this ! he comes four times and begs for another#art donaldson x reader#art donaldson smut
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Blowing Raspberries Part 2
Batfam x Male!Reader Platonic
@jaythes1mp Finally the 2nd part is out! A bit short but I genuinely felt there wasn't much needed.
Part 1
TW: Child Neglect and just Yandere themes
Living full time with the Waynes was different. It shouldn’t be, because he’s lived here before. Even if it wasn’t permanent, he still knew the ins and outs of the manor and the daily lives of each member of this family.
He watched the television numbly, feeling Dick’s fingers carding through his hair and twisting and twirling each lock. The difference was the Wayne family. Underneath the smiles and gentle gestures, Y/N could see the underlying desires and wants in each movement. A desire that Y/N has seen art collectors view paintings that are not in their collection. The want and need to have it with them at all times.
Y/N could almost see it. In their eyes, he was no longer the brother that came and went, but now a piece of the collection that they had bought from the original collector.
‘I’m being dramatic.’ Y/N thought, focusing back on the movie and trying to ease his fears about everything. Just because they bought the company,which he was still better about, does not mean they own him. They would never do that to him.
He also believed that about them buying the company.
“Y/N, is everything okay?” Dick asked, peering down at his older brother who was looking dazed. Y/N smiled, “Just thinking.”
“About what? Maybe I can help.” Y/N smiled and Dick, and when Dick smiled back, there was absolutely no way that Dick could do that to him.
“About this situation.” Dick looked confused momentarily, “What situation?” Y/N blinked in shock, digesting the words before slowly sitting up so he could face his brother, “This situation. Me being here indefinitely now, the family company is no longer mine…”
Dick cocked his head to the side, “There’s nothing to think about though.” Y/N’s smile was tense as he processed what Dick said, “Yes. Yes, there is Dick.” Blue eyes continued to stare at him in confusion, “Like what?”
“...Seriously?” Y/N sat up, and for a minute, he felt Dick’s hands tighten in his hair before they let go. Dick furrowed his brow before realization crashed into him, “Oh! You mean living here!” Before Y/N could say anything, Dick leaned against Y/N’s shoulder, “What’s there to think about? The only difference is that you are now living here 24/7.”
Y/N chuckled, “Just because you guys bought the company doesn’t mean I live here.” Dick’s gaze turned cold before he began pouting, and Y/N had wondered if he momentarily hallucinated it. Dick let out a loud groan, “But you can’t leave! Y/N, what on earth are we going to do?” Y/N laughed, “The same you have always done, Dickie. Besides, for what it is worth, I’ll be here for a few more days.” Dick smiled up at him, “You better be. Dropping contact like that.” There was something dark in his voice that Y/N chalked up to him still being upset.
Y/N continued to chuckle, his attention now returning back to the t.v. They watched it together for hours, browsing through different channels and watching different shows. It was just like when they were younger, Dick leaning against Y/N who flicked through the channels. Only now, there was an arm strategically looped with Y/N’s, and the man could feel the muscles underneath Dick’s skin that although weren’t flexed, they were a little tense.
Almost like Dick was expecting Y/N to leave. It was kind of unsettling.
“Master Y/N, your father is on the phone.” Y/N looked up at Alfred with a confused look, “Okay, thank you Alfie.” Dick’s grip tightened momentarily before he released his hold and let Y/N get up from the couch. Alfred passed the phone to Y/N, and he had a moment of confusion as to why his father called the Wayne landline instead of Y/N’s phone
“Hello?”
‘Why the hell aren’t you picking up your phone?!’ Y/N pulled the phone away from the phone momentarily, letting his ears ring before placing the phone next to his other ear, “What are you talking about? You haven’t called.”
‘Do not lie to me Y/N! I have been calling you for days, and I expect an answer!’ Y/N’s face morphed into confusion as he pulled out his phone and looked at his notifications, “Father, I am seeing no calls from you.” Y/N flicked through their messages, phone logs, even voicemail but there was nothing.
He heard his father sigh irritably on the other side of the line, and Y/N fought back a shiver. Taking a deep breath, Y/N stilled his racing heart and continued the conversation, “Okay, since you have me on the phone, what is it that you wanted to talk about?”
‘The bloody Waynes!’ There was no way Dick didn’t hear it, but a quick glance at the man and he was on his phone. Returning his attention to the call, Y/N’s father was still screeching and yelling about the family.
‘-and you! You probably helped them out with that!’
“Me?!”
‘Yes you! You don’t think I don’t know about you running to that manor whenever I am gone? Ridiculous! It is your fault the company was bought!’ Y/N felt heat rise to his cheeks and fire lit in his chest, “You were the one who signed the papers! How is it my fault?”
‘You idiot! Do you think I had a choice?! If it weren’t for you, that company would still be mine!’
“What do you mean you didn’t have a choice?” Before he could answer, another person joined in on the call, ‘Mr. L/N, to what do I owe the pleasure of you having called my manor phone?’
‘Mr.-Mr. Wayne.’
“Bruce?” He could hear the other hum, ‘Y/N, you can hop off. I need to talk to Mr. L/N.’ The heat in Y/N’s chest dimmed, and instead ice began to fill his veins, “Um, no it’s okay Bruce. I can talk to him–”
‘Y/N.’ There’s a way he said it, one that left no room for arguments, that had Y/N blinking in shock. His body frozen and eyes wide, he pressed the button without really thinking about it. It wasn’t Bruce who said his name, but Batman.
Y/N wanted to call back and tell Bruce off, but Alfred was quick to take the phone away and someone had grabbed his hand. He met the exhausted blue eyes of Tim, and worry eclipsed his feeling of irritation at the sight of those bags under his eyes.
“Oh my God, Tim! When was the last time you slept?” Y/N herded his younger brother to the couch where Dick was still sitting and gently plopped the teen between the two of them. Tim groaned, collapsing against Dick who wrapped his arms around his younger brother, “Wednesday.”
“It's Sunday!”
“Oh.”
“What do you mean ‘oh.’” Y/N shook his head and did everything in his power to make Tim comfortable enough for him to get some sleep. Which wasn't hard. As soon as Y/N threw a blanket over his thin body, Tim had knocked out against Dick. Dick was content being a pillow for his younger brother, having his arm resting on Tim’s body as the other continued to sleep.
Y/N hummed, smiling at his younger brothers and placing his phone call with his father on pause.
++++
The strangeness of his current living situation wouldn’t come to light again until a few days later, when the bruises have turned yellow and the feeling of being restricted started feeling like a collar around the neck rather than iron bars. Y/Ns had tried, multiple times, to leave the manor. While he does see the manor as home, it doesn’t replace the other manor he grew up in.
“I’m not a captive, I can go and I am going home.” He stared into Damian’s blazing green eyes, the youngest Wayne being the one to stand in the way of Y/N and the door. Damian’s face in a scowl and his arms crossed, he glared at his oldest brother.
“You cannot.” His voice clipped and short, and Y/N wanted to roll his eyes, “Dami, why can’t I leave?”
“Because you belong here. Everything you need is here.”
“I understand that Dami, however the L/N Manor is also my home and I need to go back to it.” Damian shook his head, “No you don’t. This is your home.” It was like Y/N was talking to a parrot who kept repeating the same sentence over and over again. No matter the amount of reasoning or explanations given. He fought to bury his face in his hands, and instead he opted to suck on his cheek in irritation.
“You’re making it sound like if I leave, then I am not coming back.” Damian’s green eyes steeled and his nose scrunched in a way to fight off a pout. Y/N furrowed his brow, wondering where this tantrum was coming from. Damian was above tantrums, finding them childish and pathetic, however he wasn’t above pouting. Y/N had gotten used to Damian’s pouting faces, and even knew how to combat them.
However, this whole thing was new. Not once has Damian ever fought this hard for Y/N to stay.
“Damian, what is going on?” Y/N stared down at the boy, who looked like he had swallowed a lemon. He swiveled his head around when he heard footsteps approaching the foyer and sighed in relief that it was Alfred.
“Alfie, what on earth is going on?” The old butler raised an eyebrow, “Perhaps we should have this conversation over some tea.” It was said in a tone that Y/N knew not to argue with, and he gave Damian one last glance before following the older man into the dining room where a tea set was ready for them.
Y/N buried his head in his hands and groaned, “Alfie, what is going on in this household?” The near silent clink of a porcelain cup being placed in front of him had him reaching for the delicate handle. The butler sat next to Y/N, reaching for his own cup and taking a small inhale of the steam that was carrying the scent of oranges and chocolate, “They are being a bit difficult.”
“A bit?” Y/N let out a chuckle and stared at Alfred in shock, “Dick is acting like I don’t have a manor to go back to, Tim is being Tim, Jason pretends he can’t read on his own and wants me there when he does decides to pick a book from the library, and now Dami.” Y/N tapped the table with his fingernail, feeling the frustration digging into his skin, “Bruce is the worst of them. Asking a wall to change colors is easier than asking Bruce to be honest.”
Some part of Y/N was still bitter over Bruce acquiring the L/N family business, and he was trying desperately to understand it from that man’s perspective. Key word was ‘trying’ because he couldn’t wrap his head around it. Bruce knows how much that company means to Y/N, and how hard Y/N had worked for it.
Sure, Bruce says he can still manage it, but it means nothing if the company is not his. He’d have to answer to Bruce and Tim. Just thinking about it pisses him off so much.
Alfred nodded, “Oh trust me, I know. It seems they all inherited his stubbornness.” The manor’s residential grandfather figure understood each inhabitant perfectly, watching them grow up into the people they are today.
Y/N groaned, sipping the hot tea and sighing as the liquid warmed his throat and chest, “Like, is all of this a joke?” Alfred rested a hand on his shoulder, and Y/N could see the apology in his eyes. He sighed heavily and returned his attention forward, tracing a finger around the rim of the tea cup and staring into his own reflection.
It was all a joke. It had to be, right? “Y/N.” He looked up and Bruce was standing in the doorway. His expression relaxed, but Y/N has been around the man long enough to know that those tense shoulders are those prepared to give less than savory news. Alfred removed himself from the table, and Bruce took the seat next to Y/N.
“How have you been adjusting?” Y/N raised an eyebrow, “There’s no adjusting Bruce. Every one of you is making it seem like I am going to stay forever.” Bruce gave him a sad smile, and Y/N glared at the look, “What?”
“Y/N, your father sold the manor. There is no L/N estate anymore.” The floor feels as though it is opening up and about to swallow him whole. Y/N could feel his heart stop and the air leave his lungs like it was a punch. The world going blank and his eyes could only focus on the painting behind Bruce’s head.
The manor was sold? His home, and everything in there, gone? Just like that?
Faint memories of giggles and smiles filled his mind, his memory unable to conjure up the face of his mother but he remembers her laugh. Back when times were good and his father wasn’t an asshole. When he didn’t have to seek comfort in the arms of his neighbor and try and fill the hole in his chest with lost boys and girls that he sees as his siblings.
All of it was gone.
“-uca, I need you to breathe.” There’s a hand on his arm, the chair is no longer under him. Y/N can see blue eyes staring into his own as he began to realize that they were on the ground, sitting. Or, more like Y/N was sitting and Bruce is kneeling. His face pulled to the center of his face with worry, and Y/N is only now aware of how fast he is breathing.
His hand reached towards his chest and clutched the fabric of his shirt, trying desperately to find something to cling onto as the air continued to get pulled out of his lungs. He couldn’t feel his legs or his other arm to be exact, and the when he tried to voice that all that came out were gasps.
“Y/N, can you hear me?” A nod.
“Good, I need you to find five things you can see. When you do, nod for me.” Easy, it was such as easy task but Y/N still found difficulty focusing his vision enough to see even at least three things. However, he finally found it and he nodded. Relief flooded over Bruce’s face, and he gave an encouraging smile, “Good. That’s amazing Y/N, now find four things you can hear.”
That is how they spent their next few minutes, Bruce counting down the five senses while Y/N slowly came to his. Once he could feel the floor beneath him and more movement in his limbs, he sagged forward and into Bruce’s arms.
“I need to call him. I need to call-” Bruce’ phone was already in his hands, and Y/N didn’t even question why it was Bruce’s phone and no his.
He dialed a number he had memorized by heart and held the device close to ear. The damn thing didn’t even ring, ‘I’m sorry. The number you have dialed has either been disconnected or no longer exists–’
A sob on his lips as the weight of it all began crashing on him. The family company gone, the manor, and now this. It was like the universe wanted to take everything that made him a L/N gone.
“Y/N, I am sorry. I don’t know why he did that…” Bruce consoled the son that was never his. Always within arms reach and always a mile away. Always a brush on the fingertips but never in their hands. Until now.
Finally, after so many years of waiting patiently for Y/N to see, here he is in his arms. Here is their strong oldest sibling crying in his father-figures arms because his real father wants nothing to do with him. It took some encouragement, but finally he was theirs.’
Bruce held him tight, his strong arms wrapped around those soldiers that carried too much, and blue eyes met green. Damian stood in front of the door and he watched the interaction take place. A nod to his son and the youngest was gone, without a doubt moving to go and tell the others of the news.
It took ten minutes to get Y/N off the floor and onto the sofa in the lounge room, where Jason and Dick were waiting for him. After passing him to their waiting arms and better worded promises, Bruce carefully peeled himself away from the Y/N and began making his way back to his study.
One thne doors were shut, he pulled out a phonme and began to a dial the most recent number. They picked up on the first ring and Bruce couldn’t help but to smile, “Mr. L/N, thank you for all you have done. Y/N is now in good hands.”
“...My son–”
“Will be happier. You have done your role, Mr. L/N.” He listened as the other seethed on the other side of the line, “Mr. Wayne–”
“Rememer your side of the contract Mr. L/N. No more contact with Y/N, and you get to keep all this money you earned from selling both the business and the manor. You can continue to live out your days in Cabo, with your other family.”
The line went silent, and when he head the shaky exhale, Bruce smiled victoriously, “Take care, Mr. L/N. For your sake, I hope we never speak again.” He hung up, and Bruce couldn’t help but to smile. Finally, after years of watching and waiting, it has finally all come togethe. The final link in the chain forY/N to remain here.
It was hard getting Mr.L/N addicted to Cabo, and evern harder to get him to find someone worth marrying and staring a family with. However, it all paid off. The business was his, and Y/N will still manage that, and the L/N Manor is now Bruce’s which he’s not too sure what he’ll do with.
Maybe a surprise gift for Y/N, but then again, that would mean Y/N would be leaving again.
“Hey Bruce, we’re gonna watch a movie soon to help Y/N feel better. Did you wanna join?” Tim’s voice was muffled through the doors, but Bruce heard them nonetheless. He smiled as whe opened the door, “Sure, its important we are there for him during these times.”
He’s finally with his real family. The family he should have been with from the start.
______________________________________________________
And Scene
@problematicreblogger
@kurai-hono-blog
@rosecentury
@jaythes1mp
#batfam x reader#yandere dc#yandere batfam#platonic yandere#batfam#bruce wayne#platonic batfam#platonic batman#batfam x male reader#yandere imagines#yandere#batfamily x reader#batfamily shenanigans#jason todd#dc robin#red hood#yandere dick grayson#yandere bruce wayne#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake#yandere damian wayne
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I’ve eaten and I’m feeling better now dw
Fuck I am literally quaking from how suddenly hungry I am, but I wanna finish what I’m doing wtf is wrong with me
#i’m telling you#I’ve never eaten lettuce so fast in my life#guess my digestive system decided to be speedy today#just me and my brain juices#not my art btw
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Will You Teach Me? (Jacaerys x Reader)
Oh I’m on fire! Ok so I think I’m getting my groove back and I’m actually really proud of this one cause it’s been a while since I’ve written something that is so fluff and I hope you guys enjoy it too!
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(Y/n) Starks name and legend were one that the starks would always bring up when it came to honor and loyalty, the first of their house to have the crown of the seven kingdoms placed on her head, she was two years older than her lord husband Jacaerys and excellent at the art of archery, “the kind she-wolf” was the name that the realm bestowed to her.
Princess (y/n) was the one that had urged Rhaenyra to protect Jacaerys claim, the greens might have been able to digest their defeat but like snakes (y/n) had guessed that they were just waiting for their turn, raising banners to come and swear to protect Jacaerys claim and promising her daughter to the Reach, her eldest son to the daughter of Baela Velaryon and her youngest son to the daughter of the lord of Arryn, ensuring that everyone else beneath them would follow.
The mutual respect and love Queen Rhaenyra shared with Lady Stark was well known in history, they were many witnesses on the morrow that (y/n) brought her second born child to present it to the queen and informed her that the couple has decided to name her Rhaenyra, with tears in her eyes the queen hugged her son and good daughter and thanked them for such a generous gift.
As Princess Rhaenyra was hastily made queen before her dearest father passed, he had commanded to let her take the throne so he could watch his firstborn rule better than he ever could, in reality, he feared what would happen if he passed, as much as he trusted Otto with certain affairs the matter of Rhaenyras realm was delicate and having a queen for the very first time had to be handled with utmost care.
The lady (y/n) had attended the coronation along with her brother Cregan, she had bowed before the new queen with a smile of admiration on her lips, Rhaenyra had seen the girl before, she was a little girl back then but she could recall how well she and Jacaerys had played in the garden, back then (y/n) was wearing a light pink dress that had gotten caught on some type of thorn and Jacaerys patiently worked around the fabric to free her.
“It is an honor to stand before you, my queen”
“You are very sweet, you have grown so much since we saw you last, you are already so beautiful”
“I am trying to catch up to our queen I suppose”
“I hope you remember my son, Prince Jacaerys”
“How could I forget?”
It was the first time that (y/n) broke eye contact and looked at the floor, her cheeks were already a tad rosy and after Jacaerys took a step towards her it grew closer to the color of a tomato. Jacaerys cleared his throat before he took the lady’s hand and placed a subtle kiss on her knuckles.
“My lady”
That was when Queen Rhaenyras's eyes met with Cregans and they both nodded in unison, any person with good vision could see what was happening here, the pair had grown into their comely selves and with brave heart, still, the jitters of the first heartbeat took them over like a storm.
“It is not often that we have the pleasure to have the guardians of the north in our court, may I suggest you stay for another morrow or two”
“I am afraid I must go back and tend to my duties, however, my sister can stay, if that is something that she wishes”
“Can I brother?”
“It is settled then, Jacaerys please escort the lady to all of our available chambers, let her have her pick”
“You are so generous my queen, I must thank you”
(Y/n) bowed again before mother and son, Jacaerys only turned his gaze to his mother and closed his eyes briefly, he mustn’t say anything else, a mother knows when her son is compelled by the eyes and the smile of a woman.
“Go now”
“Right away, my queen”
Jacaerys jested and instinctively took (y/n) 's hand to scurry away, as they walked away as fast as they could without causing trouble Cregan and Rhaenyra watched disappear to the crowd, Cregan adored his youngest sister and Rhaenyra held such undeniable love for her eldest son, the first fruit of her love with Ser Harwin.
“You promise to take care of her?”
“As she was my own, well technically she will be my good daughter, do you promise that she won’t murder my son in his sleep?”
“Unfortunately I cannot, one time she threw a rock at the back of my horse so I would be knocked off because she wanted it”
“Then she will make the perfect queen”
-
(Y/n) had been nervous to attend supper with the Targaryens, her betrothal with Prince Jacaerys had just been announced and so many decisions had to be made, she must be perfect so she can honor her house.
“It is such a blessed day, my grandson is to be married to the lady Stark, a wonderful match that will bond our houses for reigns to come, let us drink to love”
“You do know how the act is done right? Do not sweat I shall be there to watch it all happen I can even happily replace you if you cannot rise to the occasion”
“You can be as nasty to me as you wish, but hold your tongue in front of my betrothed”
(Y/n) was thankful for the hushed lash back of Jacaerys, Prince Aegon thought himself to be clever with such remarks ever since she stepped foot at court, his gawking made her uncomfortable and now she found herself squeamish of such behavior.
(Y/n) turned her attention to Jacaerys and mouthed a thank you to which Jacaerys responded with a smile and reached for her hand for the gentlest of touches, as the morrows passed the couple was growing their bond little by little, learning new things about one another and spending hours talking about anything they could think about.
As the supper went on smoothly, laughter and chatter filled the room, Jacaerys had left (y/n) side for only a moment so he could entertain his niece Heleana, a timid girl who seemed to keep to her own, (y/n) did not mind, on the contrary, she watched as they messed around and danced, all she could see was how endearing her betrothed prince was.
“I would also like to raise a toast”
“Aemond” Alicent pleaded
“To the health of my nephew Jacaerys, may he grow old and wise in his wedlock, and to the lady of the hour, (y/n), it is not common for such beast as a wolf to have the honor to exist next to a dragon”
“You are vile”
“Why? ‘‘Twas only a compliment, I thought starts took pride in being loyal dogs to their master”
That was enough for Jacaerys to lash out like never before, landing a punch to the eyed prince's face and Aemond responding with a shove, everything else happened in a blink of an eye and Aegon had pushed Lucerys head on the table, (y/n) felt like this was the best time to finally have a go at him and with all her might shoved the silver head drunken fool off the poor boy, when he took a step to attack her (y/n) grabbed a knife that was laying on the table and pointed it at Aegon.
“Come on you low life, let us have it then”
“Wait! Wait”
Daemon was heard in close range, causing the ruckus to stop, (y/n) remained still, she did not trust Aegon enough to give up, a man of his…ways would probably not play fair enough for her to give up her weapon or turn her back on him.
“Go to your chambers, all of you”
Still, (y/n) waited. Aegon eyes were fixated on her with an evil grin, (y/n) held on to appear poised and courageous but her breath was ragged and uneven, she was almost shaking from the sudden rush of emotions, it was only when queen Rhaenyra stuck her hand out with the palm up towards the princess that (y/n) glanced away from him.
“(Y/n)”
Her tone was steady and warning, yet with a touch of softness to reassure her that (y/n) would be safe if she gave away her knife. (Y/n) exhaled deeply and let the knife rest on Rhaenyras hand, at that moment it was when she heard footsteps and turned just in time to watch Jacaerys walk out of the room.
“Go on”
Rhaenyra could read the concern on the lady's face like an open book, (y/n) cared for her son and that brought her comfort, she was ready to harm a prince to protect her good brother, and loyalty ran through her veins, a trait that many lacked.
(Y/n) curtsied swiftly and then shuffled away, as she went up the stairs one after the other she thought over what she shall do, mayhaps the prince wished for some time alone, but on the other side, the comfort one gets from a pair of arms wrapped around you is the remedy to most wounds.
For a few moments, the lady paced in front of his door like she was guarding it until a young chambermaid approached with a wooden bucket.
“My lady, are you alright?”
“Yes I am fine, what is that?”
“The prince has requested more hot water for his bath”
“Oh, give it to me”
“My lady, are you sure”
“Do not fret over it, you may go”
The young girl handed the bucket over and walked away, without thinking over it she knocked on the door a few times only to be met with a man this time.
“My lady, the prince is bathing”
“I am aware, you may go as well”
“My lady-“
“What is it Alfred?”
Jacaerys questioned from inside. (Y/n) did not allow herself to think over this, she stepped into the room and was met with Jacaerys sitting in a tub, his arms spread on the side and the water was so hot that steam came out of it.
She swallowed down the lump in her throat as she stood there, bucket in hand and her lips merely moved halfway up to show some type of an extremely awkward smile.
“Leave us”
Jacaerys simply said. (Y/n) found it quite interesting that when they talked to her they questioned her motives, but for Jacaerys it only took two words for them to literally disappear. As the door closed behind silence overtook them, (y/n) walked closer and leaned down very slightly so she could tilt the bucket over and let the water run without splashing.
“Thank you”
“The water might burn your skin off”
“It helps after sword practice, it is often that my legs ache”
“May I?”
She interrupted him whilst she showed him the sponge, insinuating if she was allowed to scrub him with it. Jacaerys nodded and (y/n) sat on her knees before she dunked the sponge in the soap and let it touch the prince's skin.
Jacaerys skin glistened under the candlelight, (y/n) was holding on to any decency she had to not drool over the prince, as the muscles on his chest seemed to be carved onto him the lady guessed what the rest of his body looked like, his arms also had the appearance like they were drawn to perfection, as the sponge was the only thing that kept her from gracing his skin she let her mind run off to the idea of what it would feel like when he would pull her close.
“Thank you, for defending me”
“You are to be my lady wife, I will always be there to defend you, my nephew had it coming, I should be the one thanking you for protecting my brother”
“As much as I do not wish to see Lucerys get hurt a part of my motive was that I have been praying for a time were I can put my hands on Aegon”
Jacaerys cackled at the little remark of hers, seeing her wash over his skin so gently and how her eyes sparkled was something he did not know he needed, as the lady rose and took a cup that was there she then let her hand touch the top of his forehead before she let the water run on his long hair.
“You are far more careful than the servants”
“I shall hope so, when the time comes I wish for us to not need them for such affairs”
“Is that your way of admitting you’ve been dreaming of seeing me in such a state?”
“No, no my prince, I would”
“You are quite the sight when you get flustered do you know that”
A devilish snicker escaped Jacaerys lips while (y/n) placed her hands on her hips in defense while she pouted, Jacaerys could watch her furrowed eyebrows with pursed lips all day, like a child that was denied cake.
“Ah my eye”
“That is what you get”
(Y/n) reported in triumph after she let the soapy water run over his eyes causing the sting that everyone hates, Jacaerys shook his head in defeat in the meantime he let his head hang back and relaxed his shoulders, as he recalled her childish demeanor he caught himself thinking about having a daughter, dark long hair and piercing eyes that would pout just like her mother, oh how whipped would he be for that little girl.
“If I’m being frank I always wondered what it would be like to run a brush over those locks”
“I like to braid my hair before I sleep, my mother used to say it helped with keeping it neat, she would always make one thick braid in the middle of my head”
“Seems simple enough, will you teach me?”
“Gladly”
Instinctively (y/n) bends down and lets a kiss in the middle of the princess's head. The second she did it her eyes went as wide as they could, her torso snapped straight back and her hand went up to her mouth to hide her gaping lips.
Jacaerys was also taken aback and had followed her on the small gasp of surprise but seeing her so shocked over such a simple matter made him giggle once again, her cheeks turning rosy as he continued to laugh, seeing her in such distress over such a small act was rather amusing.
(y/n) always strived to portray herself as strong and untouchable by anything, being able to view her acting so delicate and sweet made him feel special like he was being let in on this secret world of hers, it made Jacaerys wonder what else would he be able to discover as the years would progress.
“I apologize, I should go”
“No, what is the problem? It was only a kiss, I promise I won’t tell a soul, besides, I need help rinsing, dearest”
Jacaerys had held her by the hand to not let her walk away, as he finished his sentence it was his turn to show his affection by leaving a kiss on her knuckles, the lady bit her lip as she thought over what to do, alas the little voice in her head that pushed her to stay won and (y/n) walked back to her original spot to a prince that grinned from ear to ear.
Jacaerys enjoyed being pampered, as the firstborn son his duties knocked on his doorstep when he was far too young, he never complained though, he yearned to make his mother proud, but there was no harm in indulging in (y/n) 's soft touch.
“It might not be the right time though I was hoping we could discuss something”
“Anything you want”
“I know we have not declared when we shall be wed, however, I wanted to express my concern over a certain part of it”
“Do not worry about anything, no matter what it is it shall be yours”
“It is not a thing I desire, I am afraid it is more complicated”
“Then what is it?”
“I do not wish to have a bedding ceremony”
She blurted out, her movements came to a halt as Jacaerys closed eyes opened to meet hers, (y/n) had kneeled to his eye level so it was not hard for him to stare right out her, her expression showed a hint of fear and a pang of guilt struck him right in the middle of his chest.
“I should have known”
“A public one is what I do not want, my septa has informed me about my wifely duties so I will not resist the ceremony as a whole, I am more than willing to give you children it is just the fact that-“
“You mustn’t explain yourself, I had just completely forgotten about that part since I’ve thankfully never attended to one”
“I understand it is tradition, however, I thought since your mother is the queen and if she agrees we can overlook it”
“The ceremony won’t take place, at all if that makes you happy, I will not start our wedlock by letting everyone see us like that”
(Y/n)s frown quickly turned back to a beam of pleasure, her eyes shining with hope. (Y/n) dreaded the moment ever since she found out about it, to be naked in front of numerous people and let them see her lord husband- no, no, no just the idea made her shiver.
Jacaerys had been honest when he said that he had forgotten about it he could not have been more sincere, he had the arrogance of a man since a ceremony of that nature would not fall heavy on his shoulders as much as if he had been the lady, of course, it is not as nice as a walk on a warm day but being intimate with your lady wife was something sacred.
That time he reached for her hand again, their faces inches away from one another and all one could hear was their deep and shallow breaths along with a few drops of water as Jacaerys remained completely still, (y/n) saw his other hand that extended over to neatly tuck her hair behind her ear before his fingertips casually followed along the line of her chin, his touch was hot and damp though (y/n) felt it was perfect.
For the briefest of moments (y/n) dared to imagine what their future would be like, Jacaerys with grey hair and wrinkles around his eyes bouncing their grandchildren on his lap as they drank tea in the garden, one thing that she could not deny was that amid chaos and the burden of the crown, Jacaerys was her peace, the comfortable silence amongst mindless chatter.
“When I was younger I asked my mother when I have a wife, knowing my mother had lost her first husband, she told me that when I feel like my heart will come out of my throat and when I would be willing to get on my dragon to bring the stars to her”
“I do not-”
“I will bring you the moon if that is what you long for”
“I long for love, honor, and respect”
“Promise me you will never shy away from speaking your mind to me”
“Careful, my brother would advise you to take your words back”
“I quite enjoy your blabbering, your voice is like a song of angels”
Requests are open!
#jacaerys velaryon fic#jacaerys velaryon x you#jacaerys velaryon headcanon#jacaerys velaryon imagine#jacaerys x reader#jacaerys velaryon x reader#jacaerys x you#jacaerys velaryon#jacaerys targaryen imagine#jacaerys targaryen#prince jacaerys#jacaerys x y/n#jacaerys x oc#jacaerys strong#hotd jacaerys#hotd fanfic#hotd imagine#hotd#hotd fic#hotd x reader#house of the dragon#Spotify
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Hello! Many people have said this but ill say it too, I LOVE YOUR COMIC SO MUCH ( ´ ▽ ` ).。o♡
I really wanted to ask you about how you do the backgrounds? (Something i struggle with) whats the process? Like from start to finish, also, to do the rise backgrounds do you use reference from the show and generally real photo of ny? Or do you come up with them? And last question- The shadow and light on the background- Like HOW
i know it’s a lot of questions but i’m just so curious qwq and wanna learn to be better, thank you again in case you read this and respond, in case you don’t, i hope you have a nice day and a wonderful life uwu keep up the great work! (≧◡≦) ♡
Backgrounds are a really broad subject and I'm always a little overwhelmed when asked this question. Just like drawing the human body, backgrounds take time, repetition, and practice!
My answer got a bit long, so it's going under a read more :) but if you digest info better in video format I found this on youtube
youtube
It pretty much goes over everything I wanted to say, but in a much better way. I wish I had found it before writing all this out lol
ok, first of all, I'm not a teacher nor was I built to be one of those cool helpful art tutorial people who do a full coloured tutorial filled with illustrations. This is just going to be a messy "how I do backgrounds / environment layouts from start to finish." kinda thing.
... lets start with a sight tangent.
Sketch from Life!!!
If you want to get better at backgrounds I recommend doing some sketching out in the real world!
When I was first getting into doing backgrounds I went to cafes and parks to just sketch the buildings and objects. Sketch rocks, flowers, clumps of grass, garbage cans, bottles, tables, street signs, etc. If you are drawing a tree observe how the trunks twist, how the bark flows, or how the leaves are bunched.
If you can't leave the house the same still applies! Sketch the interiors of your house, the walls, or common objects like chairs and bookshelves. How are objects stacked? items on the floor?
If you aren't comfortable with drawing outside or in public you can take some photos to draw from! They are good for practice and you can use them again as references later. Alternatively you can find pictures online of buildings and objects to sketch as practice.
All spaces have objects in them, it becomes easier to draw those kinds of spaces when you already have spent time observing and sketching them.
ALSO! They don't have to be good sketches! It's just to build out your mental catalogue and strengthen your perception of perspective.
now the actual thing...
BACKGROUNDS
(the pictures used for this are my own. I dug them out of my 2022 folder)
Backgrounds have slightly different rules based on what you are making them for. Videogame Environment Concept Art vs Animation Layouts vs Comic Backgrounds vs Illustration backgrounds.
They all follow the same basics, which I will go over here, but the intention and function of those designs are going to be different. It's all about how you set up the scene and what it's purpose is!
Brainstorming and Thumbnailing
I like to think about a location as though it is a character. An abandoned old house with creaky sagging floorboards is very different from a futuristic space ship with sharp metal floor panels. A gas station has a very different feeling from a library.
I usually start by asking what is this location's story? Why was it built and for what purpose? What kinds of things does this room need to fulfill that purpose? You don’t need solid answers, but its good to be thinking about it while you are working.
Next, sketch some ideas for how this place is going to look. For me, this usually involves drawing the idea from multiple angles and then making lists & small sketches of the objects I think should be filling the space.
Example: The main character of my original work is a Wanderer. They collect a lot of things on their travels, but those items have to be small enough to be easily carried in a backpack. I wanted his room to be in the corner of an attic, walled off by curtains, and filled with trinkets. You can see some of my brainstorming above.
References
I only look for references after I've done some sketching and planning; this is to solidify my idea first so that I don't accidentally copy anyone else's work. I will make a moodboard with pictures of lighting, colours, items, rooms with specific ceiling beams, old chairs, etc. basically whatever I feel fits the vibe.
Honestly, I don't use references as much as I should. For ROTTMNT fanart I look at backgrounds and screenshots from the series to study the style. I also reference actual photos of NYC to get a feel for how Rise condenses the visual information.
In general, it's good to have references of real life objects/locations, because there are so many details like cracks in pavement, stickers on polls, crowning on buildings, fancy fencing, weird chair legs, etc. that you might not think of. It's the imperfect details that can make a location feel more alive.
Perspective
Once you have your chosen sketch we move to.... the infamous perspective boxes. Doing backgrounds is just learning to be comfortable drawing So Many boxes and carving items out of them.
Many better artists than myself have made videos on perspective, vanishing points, and all the technical bits. Videos like THIS ONE and THIS ONE are helpful (this post is great too!!). There are probably a lot of classes to be found on Skillshare or Schoolism. I learned a lot of this in my college art course, so I can't give you a specific video which helped me.
You can get by and be a good artist without learning this stuff. There are quite a few successful artists who have admitted they never bothered to learn perspective (one of these people even made a whole graphic novel series).
I personally avoided properly learning this stuff until I was in my 20s because I thought it would be boring and difficult to do. tbh I really wish I had learned it earlier because it's so much fun to make those silly little boxes imo. It looks scary and complicated but, just like drawing humans, it just takes time, repetition, and practice to develop the knowledge and skills.
Cleanup
You have your boxes and lines! Cool! Now to make a scene out of it. Fill in the details, get everything placed were you want it! Generally, the lines of each item will point back towards the horizon line, but they can have different perspective points.
Generally you would want to clean it up and get your room completely sketched before doing the lineart. I tend to combine the steps (not recommended)
Lineart
I've mentioned how I do this before. Closer objects have thicker lines and more detailed inside. Further objects have thinner lines and less detail. I didn't quite achieve that balance with the image below, but it's close enough.
Colours and Shading will have to be a separate post. In the meantime, I highly recommend the book "Color and Light" by James Gurney. I used to borrow it from my local library and a good chunk of my knowledge was learned from it :)
#Artist's Comic Rambles#asks#art related asks#thank you for the ask!! I'm glad to hear you enjoy the comc :D#i hope this was somewhat helpful...#i get overwhelmed by broad questions very easily haha#if you would me to elaborate on something specific I mentioned feel free to ask#i wrote this all out weeks ago and then forgot about it... I just added a link or two but yeah here it is
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It’s taking a lot of effort to not block anyone tagging my art as q slur.
It sounds like a lot of you might might need to learn some queer history. Which is fine - there is no shame in learning our history. We don’t get taught it- you have to go and specifically look for it.
It’s also important to note- Every single lgbtqia+ community label has been thrown back at us as slur. There isn’t a single one that homophobic, transphobic people haven’t used in a derogatory way. If we collectively decided to call ourselves Humans as our only lgbtqia+ label - no doubt there would be hateful people screaming back at us. Those types of people hate us - and no matter how sanitized, and pure - and free from any stigma you present your queer self - they will still hate us.
Queer was strategically chosen as an umbrella term during the protests in the late 1980 & 90s. If you’re not aware of the AIDS crisis- please learn about it. It was brutal -and the disgusting response from the government, conservatives, religious extremists was - they were happy that it was happening. They let hundreds of thousands of queer people die because they thought we deserved it. It was a truly horrific medical emergency that was purposefully ignored for many years.
So “We’re here, we’re queer, we’re not going to disappear.” became one of the slogans people would yell during marches and protests.
Queer was chosen because it wasn’t sterilized, sanitized, it wasn’t an assimilated, quiet version of being lgbtqia+. It was fucking in your face queer.
You couldn’t ignore it- we weren’t going to hide away in shame, or keep things wrapped up in secret like previous generations. Homophobic , transphobic people had to deal with the fact that queer people existed- and would always exist & there was nothing they could do or say to change that.
Because that’s exactly what they wanted. They wanted assimilation, or total nonexistence of all queer people. And unfortunately they still do.
Which is why seeing “the q slur” is so messed up. It’s giving that sanitized, reagan administration evangelical morality - homophobic, transphobic people everything they had hoped for. A fear based response of - if I make make myself as palatable as possible will you finally respect me?
Here is an amazing photo by Dan Nicolette that I think encapsulates that idea of what queer meant. I’m not going disappear, make myself easier for you homophobes to digest.
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I think the things that offend me most nowadays in like, smaller interpersonal interactions rather than grand, sweeping trends in culture, are when people chose to not partake in a wide set of things. Like musical close mindedness, or refusal to try different foods from different cultures. Not watching an entire subset of films bc they’re ‘french’. Avoiding reading bc you say you have adhd and it’s too hard. Like dude I get it, I’m busy. I can be picky. Everyone can. But the willful ignorance of closing yourself off to those VAST portions of the human experience, and not having curiosity and a lust to learn and explore art that was made by someone worlds apart from you either in terms of their culture, era, whatever. I dunno man it just pisses me off so bad. I think it’s arrogant. Like oh you’re comfortable in your safe little bubble huh? And you’re enforcing its barriers with the excuse that you’re autistic and have sensory issues. With music made by black people?? lol okay. It is pretty presumptuous for me to assume malicious intent but I think those prejudices are borne from either the comfort of being someone who’s wealthy and probably white not feeling the need to learn past what they think is enough, or it’s a reflection of a society that’s taught you to prioritize what it shills— popular, current (white, depending where you live ig) artists who are making streamlined, easy to digest content. Often when I meet people with these issues they’ll have one particular ‘niche’, and it tends to be like. 70s music. Victorian literature. Anime and Japanese games. But they’re still not really investing beyond the media presented. Like there’s so much more to Japanese culture than liking some cartoons put out between 2010-2020. You don’t gotta become some sorta Einstein who learns the background of every little freak in FGO yeah. But don’t you wanna aim higher? Aren’t you interested in any of the historical figures? And nothings wrong with hopping onto a trend. You read Dracula bc of that Dracula daily thing. Cool! Read more. Some people will say they’re chronically ill or disabled and can’t get outside. That’s okay. The internet is full of things you can read other than fanfiction, YouTube has a shit ton of free music. There’s Wikipedia and free articles online if you have questions about things. Yeah nobody is spending four hours a day looking at the national archives website and studying art history but it’s imbued in the things around you, and youll absorb it ambiently as you go along. you dont have to be a jack of all trades and cover every major genre of every major medium, but it never hurts to try! I really love seeing ppl ask too. Bc it can be kind of humiliating to admit to what seems like some jackass hipster that you’ve never delved into, idk, Serbian films (lol not that one). And hopefully if whoever you’re asking will give you honest good recommendations and not berate you. I’m kind of berate a straw man rn I guess. The hostile tone def doesn’t lend to an atmosphere of sharing but I cannot tell you how many times I’ve rbed anything involving specifically jazz only to see someone rb and add the stupidest comment on the post, or in the tags, or go into my inbox to be like waaah I don’t like jazz bc it’s boring and old and for pretentious hypocrites who hate neurodivergent people! Like what are you TALKING about. Fine if you don’t like it but don’t try and rationalize that as a moral standing you shit lark. And just as they’re allowed to dislike jazz I’m allowed to not really enjoy people who don’t like jazz. Or country. Nautical knots. Knit wear. Watching urbex YouTubers get their shit rocked by squatters. Korean food. Pachuco fashion and stupid ugly low riders. Bollywood films. and they don’t want to try any of those things either yknow? The next thing I’m getting into is circuit bending.
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Honestly? I’m not either and I’m not gonna pretend I couldn’t get hit with a much better interpretation of the theory and agree with it, but from what I’ve read of Camus and heard from what people say around the book, I get two main takeaways.
1. Sisyphus’ struggle is constant, repetitive, and absurd, just like our lives, and if we imagine him to be in complete agony, the only recourse we would have would be to kill ourselves, but we like living, therefore, we must imagine Sisyphus happy.
2. Sisyphus, at the end of every ascent, must descend down the mountain, free from his burden for a time, and that’s a bit beautiful, isn’t it?
And if these really are the primary takeaways, I couldn’t hear a more revolting set of conclusions. I’ll take some time to read the paper in full again when I have the time, but first let me talk about that; the fact I don’t have the time.
I’m away from home right now, spending a week in a hotel to do some laborer’s training in a city I don’t live in. Only because I’m within a strong union am I not paying for this hotel, that is, unless I fail to make it to any one of my classes on time. I’m spending a week away from home, spending time exclusively for my job without being paid, and having the threat of fees being held over my head as a threat to not “waste” any of this unions resources. And let it be known: this is one of the best jobs I’ll ever have. I have it good. The fact that I’m not paying for my own accommodation? The fact that I get a 20$ food stipend per day? The fact that I’m in a union? The fact I even have a job? These are things I should be counting my lucky stars for because these blessings are given to the far minority of workers. And last night I fell asleep to the feeling of dread and today I woke up to a nightmare, a nightmare about missing my class.
If Camus wants to talk about absurdity, that’s his own rub, let him talk, if he wants to talk about Sisyphus he can fight me. There are plenty of stories of absurd heroes, there’s only one of Sisyphus. Camus was talking about absurdity, but by talking about this myth, regardless of his intention, he began to talk about the absurdity of repetition. And life is full of absurd, repetitive burdens, I do need to eat and drink and sleep and shit and piss and breathe every day. But if anyone can look me in the eye and honestly tell me that’s what Camus’ is talking about I can fight you myself. Camus was talking about work.
We make it to the top of the hill, it rolls down again, we make it to the top of the hill, it rolls down again, we make it to the top of the hill, it rolls down again, we make it to the top of the hill
I’m not sure how much I have to say on this, you cannot take a divine punishment, compare it to our lives and say “well, life must be good, so this punishment shouldn’t be all that bad either.” You should be a bit sad that you can compare them. You should get a bit tired when you realize that every day feels the same. You should feel that ache in your back when you don’t know when you get to stop. You should cry a little bit because it’s been so long that you forgot who put you on this mountain. You should feel a bit scared, Sisyphus. I don’t know if I can bring you home.
Let me be clear about something here: Camus was a libertarian socialist with some sympathies with the anarchist movement, an I really making the claim that an impressively progressive guy like him (for our time, much less his) was “licking the boot?” That he was secretly some evil capitalist in disguise? No, because the truth is I read that on Wikipedia a few minutes ago and I’m really trying to grapple with this dude. What did you mean? What were you saying? Did you get something wrong? Did I?
Yes, I probably got something wrong. I did say as much at the start of this, right? I haven’t even read his book entirely, I’ve read papers around it, I’ve seen other people’s interpretations. I’ve looked through mirrors and mirrors to see a shape that’s been made artificially too far away for me to see. I haven’t read that book because it never got taught to me, and I dropped out of school for this job, and I don’t know how to spend my time well enough to actually sit down with a book anymore. I get a bit sad when I think about it. A bit tired. My back starts to hurt. I start to cry… I get scared
I don’t know Camus. I never read his book. I didn’t know his political stance until half an hour ago. And I thought I knew him anyways, because an image of him has been given to me, carved by the sight of so many people. I don’t believe that one can dedicate themselves to absurdity, and I don’t believe that work without meaning is healthy or just. And I don’t think Sisyphus is all that happy. But I also don’t think that my perception of Camus was simply a mistake. It was false, and I still don’t have a proper one, I won’t until I can read more about him, from him. But it feels strange that despite never reading his works, despite never being directly taught about this man, that I still gained a perception of this man, and this perception told me to work, to work with a smile. And I will not be able to dispel this perception properly until I have the money to buy a book from a man that is dead, and the time to read a thesis on an unending task.
How absurd.
The myth of Sisyphus is actually capitalist propaganda btw. Repeating the same repetitive task over and over for your entire life? Isn't that just what most jobs are like?
"one must imagine Sisyphus happy"
-capitalist pigs, probably
#I’m sorry I wrote this at 3:30 am#I do think I disagree with Camus on some nuances#that I’m not going to go into on here until#i can properly digest his works.#but this post is about my point regardless of his#about artists and meaning drifting away from their art#and ignorance#sorry about that haha#big kisses to whoever makes it to this tag#💋
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