#I wonder if I’ll slow when the game releases

[timethehobo]

Wonder who he’s watching.

[luviwon]

hey girly, is me again. I was wondering if you could make any ff or even a drabble cause i feel like i'll go crazy about it. I DIED WHEN I SAW THOSE PHOTOS SO feel free to go crazy about it🫶🏻

very much in love with this jungwon idk how i am still sane (i am not);;;; thank you so much for your request, my love, i’ll make sure to reply to the others later too 🩷

jungwon couldn’t help but keep groping your boobs. he was absolutely obsessed with them, the way they sat so nicely above his head, the way they were bouncing slowly before his eyes when you were grinding on him, he just wanted to feel them in his hand, to twist your nipples harder and harder and to see your face expression, biting down your lower lip each time he went rougher. then he lets go of them and thrusts into you unexpectedly, making you whine his name.

he is buried deep inside you, you swear you can feel the tip of his cock against your stomach. he feels big inside you, stretching your pussy so much that you whine constantly into his ear, moaning his name like it’s the only word you know. and that turns him on so fucking much that he grabs your hips between his hands and pushes you down his cock harder, just to witness how you roll your eyes back and arch your back in response.

jungwon is continuously smirking, unable to control himself, and suddenly he switches position, using his strength to move you under him while he is now the one to look down at you. he takes one of your hands and presses it against his chest, his working out sessions showing off some amazing results and he can’t help but edge you more when he is pushing your legs apart again and is fucking you slowly, just like he didn’t make you cum a few minutes ago already.

sweat is dropping down your bodies, and jungwon’s hair is now all wet, just like your cunt wrapping around his dick so perfectly, the greatest fit. he doesn’t go slow for too long, nah, he doesn’t feel like giving you that much of a break, so he speeds up just to see you tits bouncing again and your mouth opening in response, his name coming out almost automatically.

he puts one of your legs over his shoulder, holding onto it tightly while thrusting into you fast, making you lose your mind instantly. you feel so overstimulated, his cock hitting your cervix over and over again, and if that wasn’t enough, he uses his right hand, index and middle fingers to be more exact, to press down against your clit and rub it in a rush, the rhythm of that matching perfectly with the movement of his body, the rhythm his dick was sliding in and out.

you looked down your body to witness that, to see his length reaching the furthest points, seeing how it slides in so smoothly, clapping sounds caused by your bodies together being the main sound in the room. “j-jungwon” you keep stuttering his name, not really knowing how to tell him to stop or you will make a mess. and you don’t want to do that, like what will the other boys think?

that you are his? that you belong to him? that he fucked you so fucking good you just came everywhere?

because that’s exactly what jungwon wanted, and he knew there wasn’t long before you will drench his sheets so he did indeed stop, pulling out slowly, but just for a second, using three of his fingers to push hard inside your wet cunt, your liquid wrapping around his fingers, and he curled the tip of his fingers inside you, using his thumb to overstimulate your swollen clit too.

your legs started shaking in response, the pleasure being unbeareable, and you wrapped your hands around his arm, trying to stop him but jungwon only smirked, blonde strands of his hair falling down his wet forehead,. that’s when he stops playing games and fingers you roughly, going as fast as he can possibly could, the wet sounds you are making turning him on so much he is using his free hand to pump himself more.

“baby i-“ but jungwon already knew what’s gonna happen and not slowing down at all on you, you can t take it anymore and release everything, squirting all over his bed, and that’s all it took for jungwon to reach climax as well, gasping loudly when the first drops of cum leave his thickness, positioning himself in front of your body to paint your chest in his seed.

thats so fucking hot

[artdcnaldson]

sex lessons au where reader learns about squirting and somehowwwwww patrick and art turn it into a competition on who gets to make her squirt first (maybe the hardest too) #needthat #wantthat

You’ve been thinking about it since Patrick showed you that fucking video— an hour of random amateur clips stitched together. It had stuck with you ever since, something about the physicality of it all. When you came with your hand between your thighs, it was just tense muscles as you held your breath and let it rush over you. They were all so… unabashed about it. You wondered if you could be like that.

The three of you are in Art’s dorm room when you bring it up, interrupting his video game. “Have you ever made a girl do like… the squirting thing? Like that video.” He chokes, dies onscreen and pauses his game. You continue, nervously word vomiting. “Because my friend Amy told me that it’s fake and just a porn thing, but it looks real there, so I just—”

“I made Tashi do it once,” Patrick says. Art sits up, eyes wide.

“How?” You and Art practically ask at the same time.

Patrick grins, feels the full weight of both of your attention on him like the sun. He likes when it’s like this— when you and Art are both clueless and interested in whatever he’s saying. He shrugs, plays it cool. “I’ll see if I can do a demonstration.”

Pat: hey can u do me a favor??

Tashi: no

Pat: pls let me make u squirt again it’s important

Tashi: kill yourself

He frowns in annoyance at the text, runs a hand through his hair. “Well, Tashi’s out.” He pauses, meets your gaze with a sly grin. “I can make you do it.”

You swallow, leaning forward curiously. “What if I can’t?”

He smiles, bites teasingly at your jaw. “Then you get to cum a couple of times. It’s a win for everyone.”

That’s how you end up naked on Art’s bed, laying on top of some towels while Patrick fucks you with his fingers.

“Keep her distracted, Art,” was the only order he gave the blond up until that point, and Art happily obliged. It’s hard to think straight at all with Art’s tongue in your mouth and his warm hands pawing at your tits. Even harder with Patrick between your thighs, thrusting two fingers inside of your cunt and pressing steadily at your g-spot as his lips seal around your clit.

Your first orgasm hits and you moan softly into Art’s mouth, pressing your forehead to his as you catch your breath.

You sigh as you come down, frowning in disappointment. “I didn’t do it.”

“That was just a warm up,” Patrick insists. He kisses your thigh, licks up your release with slow, messy laves of his tongue. You whine, thighs twitching as he teases your overstimulated count with his tongue. You’re about a million times more sensitive, whining into Art’s mouth. “Stop thinking.“ Patrick’s words are firm, demanding.

You try, you really do. Art’s doing his best to keep your mind just focused on feeling good, not worrying about whether or not you’ll squirt. Patrick’s focused, rubbing at your g-spot as he rubs your clit— it makes your eyes roll back, toes curl into the fucking towel beneath you.

“That’s it,” Art says against your lips. You’re so wet you can hear Patrick’s fingers slick, rubbing fast against your clit. You feel it deep in the pit of your stomach, just how badly you need to cum.

“Alright, you’re going to feel like you need to pee, but that’s not a bad thing. Just lean into it, let it happen.”

Your eyes widen. “Wait, this is a pee thing?”

Patrick rolls his eyes. “No, it’s not a— fuck off. Just trust me.” He waits until you nod before he keeps going.

It doesn’t take much to bring you to the edge again, when you start feeling a hot, insistent need for release in the pit of your stomach. And he’s right, because you do get that feeling, like you’ve been holding it and need to pee.

But you trust him. And if it’s actually a piss thing, you’ll kill him. You relax as best as you can, keep kissing Art until the need grows so inescapable that you make yourself let go. And…

Nothing.

You come down whining as Patrick kisses your clit, squirming to escape the feeling.

“C’mon, one more then you can be done,” he says against your cunt. “Let me make you cum one more time.”

You whine, so sensitive that you’re aching from it. Every moan escaping you feels more like a whimper as he presses hard against the front wall in your pussy, rubs at your clit like a man on a mission. Your eyes roll back— your nails claw at Art’s shirt for purchase and you pant soft weak protests into his mouth.

I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.

But your body says differently. You grind up against his fingers, wanting them deeper, wanting more period.

Maybe it’s because the first two orgasms have you so relaxed and open to him, or maybe third time’s the charm, but when you cum that time, hard and fast, you feel a release of pressure that you’ve never felt before. It’s intense, and Patrick works you through it, rubbing at your clit until you feel it again and let go, gasping and crying into Art’s mouth.

You’re completely drained by the time Patrick’s stopped, when he’s kissing your wet, slick thighs and smirking like an idiot. You’ve made a mess— soaked the towels beneath you, Patrick’s hands down to his forearm. Art’s sporting a wet spot in his boxers and he’s mouthing at your throat.

“Tell your friend Amy she’s full of shit,” he says as he cleans you up.

[straylightdream]

missing you - “𝐃𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫?”

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭: lee minho x f.reader

friends with benefits

↳ it’s only been a week and you need to see him.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.1k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smut warning below the cut.

𝐚𝐧: part of my unconnected series called “in the middle of the night” I’m still super in my Minho feels. If you would like to be tagged in any of my taglist please fill out this form.

𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: unprotected intercourse, dirty talk, names such as baby girl

It’s two in the morning and you can’t help but stare at your phone wondering if it would be weird if you call him. You had just got home from a long and exhausting business trip, and you hadn’t seen him in a week. The whole time you were gone you weren’t actually able to talk much because you were so busy. You wanted to call him so badly but you weren’t even sure if he was actually home or not. For all you knew he could be out with the boys. Neither of you were actually good at communicating, but then again you didn’t actually didn’t tend to talk a lot. Most of your time together was spent together naked in bed.

You had started sleeping together six months ago. Both of you were too busy to actually be in a real relationship, but you were both lonely and missed the company of someone in your bed at night. You had been attracted to him long before you started sleeping together. When he jokingly brought up you having sex to release some sexual tension you practically jumped at the opportunity. You quickly learned he knew his way around a woman's body like no other man you had been with before. He had the ability to make you fall apart quickly. He learned to do all the things that turned you on and left you moaning his name.

You decided to cave into your desire and you opened up your text messages and clicked on Minho's name. You sent the ever so cliché “are you up?” text. You knew when you sent that text it wasn’t a friendly text that was meant to start a conversation. That text was meant to only have one outcome.

It took about three minutes before your phone lit up with an incoming call with Minho’s name across the screen.

You answered the phone and smiled, “hello.”

“What are you doing baby girl?” he rasped. His voice sounded like he was half asleep. You could instantly picture him curled up in his bed dressed in nothing but his underwear.

“I couldn’t sleep and I miss you,” you emphasized that you missed him. You didn’t just miss his body, you also missed talking to him and spending time with him. Even though you weren’t fully sure what was going on between the two of you, you missed his company.

“Baby I miss you too,” you couldn’t help but smile at all his sweet pet names he was calling you. You sat up in bed and wondered if you should just invite him over.

“Did you want to come over?” You drew out your words.

He was silent for a moment and took a slow breath, “I’ll be over in ten minutes.”

“Okay.”

You hung up your phone and crawled out of bed. Walking off into the bathroom you brushed your teeth. You tried taming your messy hair. You looked in the mirror wondering if maybe you should change into something maybe a little bit sexier than an oversized shirt and a pair of sleep shorts that hugged your soft thighs. You didn’t know why you seemed to be overthinking this. This wasn’t the first time Minho was coming over for a booty call and honestly it wasn’t going to be the last time. You guys have been playing this game for six months now. You don’t need to try and impress him.

There was a soft knock on the front door, you walked over and opened the front door and found Minho standing on the other side of the door. He was wearing a white v-neck and pair of sweatpants that sat low on her hips. Without saying a word, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours for a passionate kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer to your soft body as your lips moved together.

He pulled his lips away from yours and rasped, “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” you reached down and grabbed his hand and laced yours fingers and led him towards your bedroom.

As they entered your bedroom it didn’t take long for both your clothes to quickly come off. You laid in your bed as their lips moved together, you couldn’t seem to get enough of each other. It had only been a week since you had last been in bed together, but you missed each other more than you probably should. His lips moved from your lips down to your jaw leaving a trail of wet kisses and light nips down your neck. You couldn’t help but moan as his lips moved across your skin.

He lined himself up with your entrance and slowly slid into you. His hips moved into you at a slow pace as your hands clawed at his tone back. He groaned your name as his pace started to pick up. There is something about being in bed with Minho that just makes you feel alive. No man has ever made you feel sexier in your life.

“Fuck your pussy is so tight,” he moans with his lips close to your skin. “It feels like your pussy was made for me.”

“Min-“ you feel like you can’t speak. Lost in a haze of pleasure.

“Did you not play with yourself while you were gone baby?” You can’t say anything, you just shake your head. “Did you miss the feeling of my cock stretching you open?” His dirty words are helping push you closer and closer to the edge.

“Oh my- go- god, yes,” you moan.

His pace is quicker now as he’s trying to make you come. He’s hitting just the right part inside you that he knows makes you fall apart every time.

Biting your lip, you held back screaming his name as he pushed you over the edge. A white hot wave washes over you as your wall contracts, milking him, pushing him closer and closer to the edge.

He rolled his hips a few more times before he hit his own high. He moans your name like a sinful prayer. Rolling off you he laid on his back staring at the ceiling trying to catch his breath.

Your naked body was curled up against his and rested your head on his chest, “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too baby.”

Regarding taglist:

If you aren’t interacting with my writing outside of liking the new post I’m gonna have to remove your name from the taglist. You will also be removed if I try to tag you and your blog is listed as "invisible". If you've changed your URL and didn't let me know I will also be removing your name. I’m sorry for the inconvenience but my interactions outside or likes feels like it’s nonexistent right now. All of my taglist are still open though. If you request to be added to one via this form, I kindly ask for interactions in the form and feedback and reblogs. To be quite honest, those really encourage my writing.

[romirola]

A Work-in-Progress Anyday (9/24)

Hiya, Redacted fandom! I've had the pleasure of being tagged in a few different games lately. Thank you, @pinksparkl, @running-tweezers, @useless-chan-draws, @free-boundsoul , and @cyanbugremix for the tags! I regret to report I have been a tag game delinquent. But I have a good excuse! I have been working on my next Redactedverse fic.

Hint: It's an AU! And it's been such fun figuring out how to blend the Redactedverse into one of my favorite stories. Can you guess what it is? (Answer in the tags.)

If you know me, you know I write at a VERY slow pace and that I don't post on AO3 until the full story is drafted. I only recently started working on this fic, but I did want to post a teaser to for fun and excitement. Please see below the cut for the first released snippet of this fic.

Tagging those listed above, along with @us3rnam3-r3dact3d, @dominimoonbeam, @weightedblanketjoyfriend, @pycth, and anyone else who'd like to join in the fun to post a work-in-progress in any medium. (Please tag me so I can see your wonderful work, friends!)

“That’s right,” Gavin grinned. “You see, when I was a young…” He looped an arm behind Freelancer. “... dashing, debonaire, hotshot incubus, so different than the demon before you today,” he joked, sharing a wink with Freelancer, “I, too, fell prey to M.D.S.. And even though I was too proud to ask for help, my steward came and helped me wait it out. When I was feeling my worst, she read me this book.” Gavin snatched the book from Caelum and waved it in the air. “It’s a special book. And today, I’m gonna read it to you.”

Caelum still looked skeptical. “Is there fun stuff in it?”

“Are you kidding?” Gavin gasped. “Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, shifters, stealths, vampires, chases, escapes, true love, miracles!” 

“Doesn’t sound too bad,” Caelum considered. “I’ll try it.” 

Freelancer snickered. “A real kind gesture.” 

“Mhmm, yeah, sure,” Gavin huffed. “You say that now. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming.” He relaxed in the chair, materializing matching pillows to help support his and Freelancer’s backs. “Alright,” he sighed, opening the book with a finger flick. “<em>The Prince Shifter</em>, by S. Morgan Kyne. Chapter 1.

“<em> David Shaw was raised on a small farm in the country of Dahlia. He was a wolf shifter, the biggest wolf anyone in the town had ever seen. His favorite pastimes included going on long hunts in the forest, playing cards with his cousin, and tormenting the unempowered farmhand who he had hired to help with chores shortly after his father died. David never called the farmhand by their name, only, 'Troublemaker.'”</em>

Gavin peaked over the top of the book. “Isn’t that a wonderful beginning?”

Caelum gave him a skeptical huff. “Nothing happened yet.”

“You just wait,” Gavin scoffed.

[ash5monster01]

Hi love your andrew fic! Thank you so much for writing it <3. if you dont mind, i would like to request another. im not sure if you watched friends but theres an episode when Rachel and joey go on a “date” and they show off their date moves which is when Joey starts having a crush on Rachel lol. i was wondering if u can write something like that for Andrew. Where they’re close friends & costars & both single with an age gap? The key thing about the episode was when their date was over they showed each other what they do to get their date to kiss them and oof the tension it brings

Seal The Deal

pairing: Andrew Garfield x Femreader

warnings: mentions of sex, teasing, fluff, slow burn

summary: as friends you go on a date, wanting to remember what it was like to be taken out. In the midst of showing each other what kind of moves you would do on a real date they end up working on each other. (I love Friends and I thought this was a really clever and cute idea for Andrew even though I never shipped Joey and Rachel, but this was a fun one to write)

Masterlist

You hadn’t been on a date in a very long time. No one had asked you to join them in a dimly lit restaurant in ages. You had missed being wined, dined, and pursued by another. You hadn’t been on a nice date in so long you had started to wonder if you were losing your game. So when you voiced this to your older costar he offered to wine and dine you, and allow you to feel like you’ve still been in the game despite how long it had actually been. So here you were, sat across from him, in a four star restaurant, and one of the greatest meals you’ve ever had in front of you.

“So did I do a good job?” you perked your head up to look in your costars dough eyes which were glimmering with the light from the candle in the center of the table.

“Good job on what?” you asked and he chuckled as you took a quick bite of your food.

“The date, I want to make sure this will hold you over until you finally find another guy to date” you gave him a deadpan look which filled his lungs with laughter. The belly laugh filled the restaurant and yet you couldn’t help but smile that your one look gave him that reaction.

“It’s fine Andrew, and I wouldn’t have died from withdrawal but I’m still glad to be here” you told him as his laughter quieted down.

“I’m just making sure, you were really worried about your game” he teased and you rolled your eyes as you continued to eat your meal.

“Nothing could deter my game, I’m the best there is” Andrew rose his eyebrows at this statement, intrigued by your sudden cockiness over this subject.

“Oh really, what makes you say that?” he folded his arms over, more interested in your answer than the food on his plate.

“I have date moves, they haven’t failed me yet” you acted coy not wanting to let on to too much.

“Date moves?” he asked as he leaned forward, curious now.

“Don’t look at me like you don’t have your own moves” you told him and he shrugged, falling back into his chair.

“I have tactics” you laughed as he responded, knowing he had moves of his own.

“Alright, you show me yours I’ll show you mine” Andrew rose his eyebrows but sighed and leaned back forward nonetheless despite the dirty undertone to your sentence.

“Well sometimes if a girl is talking to me I’ll reach forward and grab some hair and play with it” then suddenly Andrews long fingers reached across the table and grabbed one of your soft curls, wrapping it around his finger and moving it with such gentleness you could barely feel it, but your body felt it everywhere else.

“Doesn’t that distract her?” you asked after you struggled to find the words.

“If it does it means I have some sort of effect on her and it makes my other moves go so much smoother” Andrew spoke as he released your hair and moved back into his space of the table.

“Clever” you offered and he smiled before clapping his hands.

“All right, show me one of yours” he said before setting his hands down on the table. As he waited you smirked a little bit before setting your own hand on his. “You call this a mov-”

His sentence was cut short by your slim fingers slipping under his shirt sleeve, brushing along and making it very clear they were under the fabric. It alluded to wanting to get him out of his clothes while looking so innocent at the same time. Andrew found himself gulping as he tried to calm his heart rate the further your fingers moved up his sleeve.

“That’s my maybe you’ll get lucky move” you continued to smirk at him, noticing how he reacted the same all the guys did to that move.

“I’ll admit, I’ve never seen that one before” Andrew said as he pulled his arm away, your fingers still in his sleeve and doing things to him he hadn’t expected.

“Alright, give me another” you grinned, your focus now completely off of your food and on this fun little game you were playing.

“Okay, just start some conversation with me” he told you and you cleared your throat as you thought of a topic to discuss.

“I’m not sure if you ever knew this about me but I’m a memory hoarder. I like the keep mementos that remind me of fun moments in my life and I’m so bad about it I have the most random stuff stockpiled just because it reminds me of those moments. Do you keep anything?” but Andrew didn’t answer. In fact he had seemed too zoned in on you to even be listening. His deep stare made you start shifting in your seat and quickly you moved to make more conversation. “Andrew? Are you listening?”

“Sorry” the boy shifted upwards and shook his head as if he was shaking his thoughts away. “I wasn’t ignoring you I just got so distracted by how beautiful you are. I can’t believe I’m the lucky guy sitting with the prettiest girl in the restaurant” your blush was a deep crimson red that flowed all the way to the tips of your ears. Now that was smooth.

“So ignoring your date while she’s talking is a tactic? Good to know” you teased quickly, not wanting him to realize your whole body was now warm because of his comment.

“I was listening Y/N. I think it’s adorable you keep things that remind you of good moments. That might be my new favorite thing about you” he spoke before focusing on his food, taking some bites before it got cold.

“You have a favorite thing about me?” you couldn’t help but ask and he offered a quick smile your way.

“Yes Y/N, you’re one of my favorite people. I’d have to enjoy things about you for it to be that way” you hadn’t known Andrew had thought so highly of you and you were surprised by the feeling it gave you. You had worked on films in the past before but usually if you weren’t in the same project you both sucked at keeping in touch.

“Well that’s good to know” you told him with a soft smile and he returned it just the same. The rest of the night continued filled with good conversation and greats laughs. You actually didn’t remember the last time you had been on a date you had enjoyed the other persons presence so much. But maybe being friends made it all that much easier. So the date was a success and you found yourself sitting contently in the front seat of Andrews car.

“I’ll walk you to the door” he told you as you both exited the vehicle. It had gotten a bit cooler in the night air and he quickly shoved his hands in his pockets as you approached the door to your apartment.

“Thank you for tonight, really” you smiled at him as you turned to bid him goodbye.

“No problem, I actually had a really good time. I don’t remember the last time I enjoyed a date knowing it wasn’t leading to sex” you both laughed as he said this and you shook your head.

“Crazy that men forget how fun dates can be” you told him and he shrugged, knowing he was guilty just like every other guy.

“So, any end of the date moves you want to show me?” he whispered into the night air and you felt yourself shiver lightly.

“You first Garfield” you told him and he grinned as he stood up a bit straighter.

“Well usually when I walk a girl to her door I stand as close as I can-” he took a few steps in, his chest an inch from your face and you were forced to look up at him, his breath falling towards you. “And I tell her what a great time I had and I wish her goodnight, and when I know she’s waiting for me to kiss her, I take a small step back. When she starts to look disappointed before she even realizes I lean down and kiss her good and hard. Then hopefully she’ll invite me in”

“And what’s the success rate on that?” you asked, breathing heavily because he was still in your space.

“Nine times out of ten she invites me in. Now what about you Miss moves” you smiled and started to shake your head.

“It’s embarrassing” you started to step back from him and he quickly grabbed your wrist and pulled you back.

“No, come on. Remember you show me yours, I’ll show you mine” sighing you knew you couldn’t escape this one.

“Fine, but you can’t laugh” you glared and he nodded quickly, agreeing to your terms. Wanting to get it over with quick you prepared to move into your seal the deal move.

“I can’t believe how incredible tonight was” one by one your hands grabbed his suit jacket tugging him the tiniest bit closer without it being to noticeable. “To bad the night has to end”

Then slowly you slid your hands under the suit jacket, circling around his waist and pressing yourself flush against him. “I’m never very good at goodbyes”

Your hands traced random figures into his back and you finally looked him in the eyes, pressing your chest to his own, any space between you now disappeared. “I hope you don’t mind, it’s a bit cold”

“It’s fine” Andrew wasn’t sure if this was your move or not but it was working and he found his heart rate accelerating as he stared down into your eyes which glowed in the moonlight.

“If only tonight could last forever” you whispered, leaning up, so your mouth was only an inch from his own. The words fell from your lips and landed on his and he quickly closed his eyes as he tried to calm himself down. He had never expected to feel this towards you.

“And then I pull away and go inside, and that usually earns me the second date” you pulled away and Andrews eyes quickly snapped open, surprised you had such an effect with just your touch.

“Yeah, I can see how that works” a nervous hand reached to rub the back of his neck and you offered a smile but he saw it in your eyes. The disappointment.

“Goodnight Andrew” you turned to unlock your door. Suddenly a hand gripped your wrist and spun you around “What-”

Then just like that Andrew was kissing you on your doorstep. All the air sucked out of your lungs as you feverishly kissed back, surprised that you had wanted him to kiss you like this. When he realized you weren’t fighting him he pushed you against the door, his tongue roaming your mouth. You hummed slightly and you felt him tense as you did so. His fingers laced with your own and he quickly pushed your hands against the door on either side of your head as he continued to roam your mouth. The tension you both had built through the night was so thick that this kiss felt like a breath of relief.

You wanted to pull back but this kiss had reached the point of no return. He either needed to be in your apartment or ruin the best night you’ve had in a long time. But your stomach was on fire, your skin burning against his own, the slight scratch of his beard giving you a sensation you had never expected. The kiss was tender, but heated, and he was confident to the point it felt like you were his best kiss to date. You gripped at his collar, pulling his mouth impossibly closer to your own until you had to break apart for air.

“At least now you know your moves work” he told you, his forehead pressed against your own as he continued to pin you to your own front door.

“Yeah well so do yours, now get inside before we give my neighbors to much of a show”

[infernaleikon]

Obikin and either Q or K

Q - one missed call (2k)

*****************************************************************

As Anakin made his way through the room, people he hadn’t talked to yet—some he didn’t even recognize—stopped him. He found his hand grasped by honored guests and as they shook it in their warm, sweaty grips, they congratulated him with drunken cheer. Their caterwauling followed him as he untangled himself with laughs and shoulder pats, making for the open double doors leading out into the garden.

When he finally made his escape, dodging more damp hands, he slunk out onto the terrace. The night air was crisp and smelling of spring flowers, and it felt like a balm on his heated cheeks. He inhaled until his lungs felt too full to hold it all, and released the breath in a languid exhale. As he started walking, deeper into the garden, the noise from inside spilling out fell away until it was just a low hum in the background. The soft rustling of wind in spring-new leaves filled his ears. A too familiar urge itched under his skin.

It was the first quiet moment all day, and while Anakin didn’t mind the attention—enjoyed it, really—after a whole day of excitement, speeches, games, and well-wishes (and too warm hands), he needed a moment to himself. He thumbed at the new ring around his finger and the sensation of smooth metal was pleasing in a way he couldn’t even describe.

Anakin fished the cigarette and lighter he’d snagged from one of their guests from his pocket. He’d raised it halfway to his lips when he paused mid-air, doubt halting his hand. It had been months since he’d last smoked, the habit as good as beaten. He still remembered Obi-Wan’s face whenever they’d kissed after Anakin had had a cigarette.

“What?” Anakin had asked when Obi-Wan’s brows crinkled ever so slightly and he had drawn away from him. “You said you didn’t mind.”

“And I don’t,” Obi-Wan had insisted, and instead of going back to kissing him, just pressed his lips to Anakin’s knuckles.

Anakin scowled and grabbed at his wrist, pulling him back in. “Then what?” he had pressed, pushing Obi-Wan down on the sofa and straddling him to keep him from running away again.

Obi-Wan’s hands had settled warm and heavy on his hips. A soft chuckle had slipped from his mouth. “I prefer tasting you,” he’d said, a hand sliding up and to Anakin’s neck, fingers wrapping firmly around his nape before guiding him down to Obi-Wan’s face. “Smelling you,” he’d added as he nosed under Anakin’s chin. Raising his head to look at Anakin again, his slow smile had grown wider. “But I’ll take you any way,” he’d promised before slotting their mouths together for a kiss that had left Anakin’s toes curling.

Anakin caught himself smiling, and then lit the cigarette. Obi-Wan would forgive him for it. After all, it was a stressful day and he’d been so good for months.

As he took the first drag—the slow, warm curl of nicotine felt soothing, familiar—he dropped his head back and closed his eyes. Tension bled away from his shoulders and jaw; he hadn’t even realized how tense he was. No wonder, he supposed, he’d been on a tight schedule all day.

Anakin rolled out his shoulders and pulled his phone from the inside pocket of his jacket. Maybe he could play a round or two of Candycrush (without rage-quitting), or just scroll the social profiles of their friends who’d surely already posted pictures from the wedding.

He swiped away a few notifications, checked the two emails he’d received, tapped to see whose call he’d missed.

Anakin frowned at his phone. Obi-Wan had called him earlier… several times in short succession. Staring at the missed calls, Anakin tried to fathom what had made Obi-Wan try to reach him. He had no reason to.

“You’re smoking again.”

His head snapped up to the source of the voice and jerked his hand behind his back, like a child caught red-handed still trying to hide.

Obi-Wan was smiling wryly at him. The light of the lanterns along the garden path gleamed in his hair, caught in his eyes, and he looked so handsome in his dark blue suit.

“No,” Anakin said reflexively, his heart beating in his throat. He’d been good. “No, it’s just—”

“Relax, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said with a light chuckle. “It’s alright. I’m not here to berate you.”

Anakin eyed him warily, hackles rising with stress and anxiety as Obi-Wan stepped closer. He half expected a deep, disappointed sigh from him at the misstep, except there was only warmth in Obi-Wan’s eyes.

Obi-Wan grasped him firmly by the upper arms, the heat of his hands seeping through Anakin’s jacket, and closed the distance until they were less than an arm-width apart from each other. Anakin’s breath caught in his throat. He’d always felt trapped under Obi-Wan’s gaze—and strangely enough it had never been uncomfortable. Obi-Wan’s attention was intoxicating, and he never could get enough of it.

He felt like he could breathe again.

“Congratulations, Anakin.”

The words hung between them in total stillness, suspended in a moment of disbelief.

Anakin felt himself grow cold. “What?”

A nonsensical question and yet he couldn’t stop it from tumbling from his lips. He could feel his heart hammer against his ribs.

“On your wedding,” Obi-Wan clarified, as if Anakin had forgotten. “I wish you all the happiness in the world. Truly. May you have the marriage you’ve always wanted.”

The last bit of warmth slipped away when Obi-Wan withdrew his hands and put more distance between them again. Shivers ran up and down his spine. Anakin heard his own blood rush in his ears like an angry, roiling ocean.

A sudden burst of anger surged through him. Of course Obi-Wan would come here and act high and mighty, like he was somehow better than Anakin; like he was such a magnanimous do-gooder. Like he’d won.

He hadn’t. Anakin had. Anakin was the winner, and the fact that Obi-Wan was here, now, only proved it.

“You wouldn’t be here if you really did,” Anakin spat with far more venom than he’d anticipated.

A shadow passed over Obi-Wan’s handsome face as he slid his hands into the pockets of his dress pants. What looked like a display of casual carelessness Anakin knew to be practiced calm, an iron-grip on composure when there was something fierce raging on the inside.

For a fraction of a second, he looked like he wanted to snap back. Anakin wanted him to.

Instead, Obi-Wan winced. “You’re right,” he admitted. “Apologies. I didn’t mean to upset you.” After a beat, “I’ll leave.”

“Why are you here?” Anakin asked before Obi-Wan could even turn away. The question tumbled from his mouth before he could stop it; before he even knew he wanted to ask. Needed to know. Anakin’s heart was pounding in his throat, surely loud enough that even Obi-Wan could hear. He didn’t know which answer he dreaded more.

Obi-Wan stroked a hand over his beard. The ghost of a sad smile flashed on his face. “I suppose I wanted to see you happy one last time.”

Anakin’s hands, fisted by his sides, trembled. He wanted it to be from anger.

“Well, then take a good, long look,” Anakin snapped. “Because I am happy.”

He was. He was happy. He was happy. Without Obi-Wan. Today was proof of that.

“I’m glad for it,” Obi-Wan said softly. His eyes were full of warmth, little crinkles at the corners as he smiled, with more affection than Anakin could handle. “It looks beautiful on you.”

Caught between fight and flight, Anakin stared at him. He felt himself crumble. He wanted to rage.

Something hot gathered behind his eyes.

“Goodbye.” Obi-Wan sounded… final. “Anakin.”

Obi-Wan had already turned around and started walking away when Anakin regained his voice. “Wait!” he shouted, stumbling after him. “We’re not done yet.”

There was a scowl on Obi-Wan’s face when he turned to face him but he stood, patient and stoic, as always.

Anakin’s lungs felt too small for his breaths. “You called me,” he said, words almost swallowed by the lack of air. “You called me, earlier, several times.”

Obi-Wan looked pained, regretful. It sent a pang through Anakin.

“Why?” Anakin asked, voice trembling with urgency. “Why did you call?”

Obi-Wan dropped his gaze, a deep furrow between his brows. “Anakin,” he murmured—begged, by the sound of his voice. He’d heard this tone once before.

“Tell me,” Anakin demanded. There was a wild thing charging behind his ribcage and he was sure if he didn’t reign it in, he’d go insane.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan said again, slowly, pleading; almost sighing. Ah-na-kin. As if it was being torn from his throat, from the very depths of his soul.

“Tell me.”

Obi-Wan set his jaw, caught between frustration and desperation. It wasn’t a rare sight. Anakin had put that look on his face more than once, and Obi-Wan had always cracked when Anakin pushed just hard enough and on the right spot. And Anakin would push until he got what he wanted.

Anakin hissed, gaze snapping to his hand just as he dropped his long-forgotten cigarette. It had burned all the way down to the filter, abandoned. He ground the remains into the grass before bending down to pick up the stub. When he looked back up, Obi-Wan’s face had softened to something achingly adoring that it almost made Anakin’s knees buckle.

Obi-Wan had always disapproved, when they first met, of Anakin simply throwing the stubs to the ground, carelessly tossing them down and away, not wasting a second thought on it. He’d stopped doing it after he realized, and Obi-Wan kissed him—taste of nicotine and all—until Anakin had felt light-headed.

When their eyes met, Obi-Wan sighed, and Anakin knew he’d get his answer.

He looked like he was bracing himself before he said, quietly, “I wanted to tell you not to do it. Not to marry Padmé.”

Anakin’s heart skipped a beat, or several. He wasn’t sure.

“Why?” His voice was barely above a whisper, eyes glued to Obi-Wan’s face.

Obi-Wan squeezed his eyes shut. He exhaled deeply, and then turned his gaze squarely on Anakin. “Because I was being selfish. Because… I made a mistake letting you go.”

Time moved faster as it stood still.

“Because you love me,” Anakin whispered, with certainty, with awe, with a wildly beating heart.

With regret. With guilt.

If he’d only thought to look at his phone when he had paced around his room, stalling, hoping Obi-Wan would show up.

“Yes,” Obi-Wan said with a nod and a sad smile. “I do.”

Anakin thumbed his ring. It felt too smooth.

Obi-Wan’s eyes dropped to his hand and Anakin followed his gaze to his wedding band. He raised his hand, slowly twisting the ring with the fingers of his other until—

—until he’d twisted it off.

Anakin pocketed the ring before he strode towards Obi-Wan. He grabbed his lapels to pull him close. Their noses brushed, their breaths mingled. Obi-Wan’s eyes tracked him carefully but he didn’t resist. Quite the contrary, his hands fell to Anakin’s waist, warm and safe, pulling Anakin even closer.

“I wouldn’t have married her,” Anakin said into the scant space between them.

“You did.”

It wasn’t an accusation, Anakin knew, just a statement of facts, uttered with regret.

“I waited for you,” Anakin promised, bunching the fabric in his hands.

“I’m sorry I was too late,” Obi-Wan said. He took a deep breath and moved to draw away again.

Anakin stopped him by gripping him tighter, refusing to let go now.

“You’re here now,” he said, and he could barely recognize his own voice: breathy, hungry, happy.

Obi-Wan eluded him when Anakin leaned in to kiss him. His eyes searched Anakin’s face carefully, and for a brief, heart-stopping moment, Anakin thought he’d leave. That Obi-Wan’s morals would kick in.

And then, “I’m here now.”

Anakin smiled harder than he had all day when Obi-Wan’s lips caught his own.

[starl3ght]

Heyy star love love your work so far and was wondering if I could get a gaz reader hc ?❤️❤️

THANK YOU FOR THIS!! I love this man so much he’s perfect material❤️👄❤️

I really hope this seems accurate and to your liking <3

//~Kyle “Gaz” Garrick hcs~//

A/N: I was working on this a while ago I just forgot about it. Glad I could add the stuff I needed🥹 Currently in the process of more hcs, I’ll definitely post Alejandro or Soap depending on how much I write the this week. I’ll also be doing a little König oneshot because I love bae

Enjoy!!😍✨

Contains: Fluff, 18+, mentions of sex, little angst, just genuine hcs

Minors watch yourselves!!

-

-

• Ok Gaz definitely fell for you when he first saw you. Love at first sight is what it was oh yes

• I see him as a dog person. Will randomly pet dogs on the street or bring a puppy in the house😭

• HE IS VERY SMART! Definitely was an honor student. He knows literally every subject he was ever taught in school

•When he comes home to you and you’re awake he’ll pick you up and you wrap your legs around his waist then he pulls you in for a kiss.

• If you’re asleep he’ll silently put his duffle bag in the living room and walks into your shared bedroom watching your sleeping form.

• “I’m home love…” he whispers sweet nothings into your ear and kisses your forehead then leaves the room to shower

• You go car cruising together at night in the city lights with any nice song playing. Most likely Passionfruit by Drake or some Weeknd

• Sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night and see his side of the bed is empty. You got confused a bit but when you walked into the living room to look for him, he was laying on the couch watching the recording of the basketball game he missed while he was out

• He just looks at you for like 5 seconds and gives you a playful smile “You wanna watch with me love?” Why the hell not🤷‍♀️

• You lay on top of him under the blanket and watch the game literally at like 2 am

• Arguments are rare. But when you do just prepare for some heartbreak

•If you have tears streaming down your cheeks he might release some too

•He’ll pull you into him and apologize while kissing the top of your head.

• When it comes to comfort, you’re both there for each other. When you cry he’ll hold you. “It’s alright, you’re ok love...”

• Some nightmares here and there sometimes. You’ll talk to him until he feels better and he hugs you.

• Now this may be odd. But no matter how late it is he’ll take you to the living room and have jazz music playing in the background while he slow dances with you.

• Price knows about you so he treats you really well. Really good friends actually

• Ghost would probably be casual about it. He knew about you when he and Gaz were taking out some enemies and they just talked to pass time.

• “Bloody Jesus, Gaz you really did a number on em mate.” Gaz loaded his gun again before turning to Ghost. “Yea, just wanna finish quick so I can get back home to my birdy.”

• Now Ghost was oddly curious. He turns to Gaz “You got yourself a lass huh? That’s nice mate” Gaz and Ghost turn back to the enemy soldiers, “yea…it is nice” he has a smile on his face

• Soap also finds out eventually and just spits out questions about you. Ghost slapped the back of his head so he could leave Gaz alone. Good job Ghost

• The 18+ now ong

• 🎶Sex, money, feelings dieeeee🎶

• Soft dom definitely

• Will never pressure you until you’re ready

• When you do, he knows how to use his voice👁👄👁

• Focuses on both of your experiences when he’s inside of you and whispers ‘I love you’ so many times

• holds your hands very tight like you could slip away from him

• Will indeed look after you well. Kissing you and in the bath he probably plays around with the bubbles to make you laugh🌹🥹

• ONG BUYS YOU STARBUCKS!!!😭😭

• Literally if you’re shopping and you come across it you just tug on his sleeve and you point at it. He’ll smile at how cute you look like a child and will buy whatever drink you want

• Little pillow fights, might’ve ripped a pillow once and feathers were everywhere in the room but you’re both laughing too much

• He literally has you pinned to the floor sometimes playfully and you caress his cheeks smiling at each other and you lean up to kiss him.

• Gaz is just a sensual, loving, amazing partner in my eyes.

• Would do absolutely anything for you

[andydrysdalerogers]

Cross-Checked ~ Chapter 21

Andy Barber x OFC Leighton "Leia" Andrews

Summary:

Andy Barber is having the best year of his life. His game is on point. It’s gets to play with his best friend and his fiancé just... dumped him?!. 

Reeling from a sudden change in status, Andy decides it’s time to just focus on hockey. Until his best friend's sister comes out with news that rock the entire organizations world., 

Andy has always carried a torch for the untouchable Leighton but in her hour of need, is now the time to shoot and score or risk getting cross - checked again? 

Warnings: Cheating (but not by the MCs); slow burn; friends to lovers eventually; SMUT!; pregnancy; jealousy; handsome goalies, evil exes...

A/N: The tag list is open! Also, so sorry to be behind on this one. Life got in the way for awhile but I'm back!

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Banners by me!

Previous: Chapter 20~ When Two Become Three

Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 21 – It's the Playoffs, Baby 

Leia 

The last six weeks have been the most wonderful dream. My little Avery came home the same day I was released from the hospital after a week-long stay. She’s perfect in every way. Andy refuses to put her down unless she’s hungry. He’s besotted with his little girl, and it just makes my chest hurt from the adorableness. It was rough the first couple of weeks with the surgery, but Andy found a night nanny to help. He also hired a housekeeper for us, Mrs. Langfield. She is a godsend. She is so helpful with the house and caring for me when Andy head-to-head back to work.  

But here we are, six weeks later, and we are attending our first home game together. Management got us our own box with the. WAGs. I am a WAG now, which is wild.  

Andy and I get to the arena early, him proudly carrying the car seat in. My social media team are on it with the arrivals, and I step out of the picture because I know that the fans will go nuts for this daddy/daughter moment. But my top assistant, Alicia, spots me.  “Leia, we have to get a picture of the happy family.”  She pulls me and we pose. I’m leaning into Andy before he pulls Avery out of the car seat so he’s holding her.  

“That’s great!” Alicia declares.  “These will be up soon, but I’ll send you the good ones,” she tells me, and I flush.  

We head to the private elevator and Andy looks down at me. “Sweetheart, why are you so red?” 

“Nothing,” I looked down at the bags. I could feel the hot tears welling behind my eyes and I was trying desperately to stop them.  

While Avery has been magical and beautiful and wonderful, I did not feel the same way about myself. I was dull, fat and blah. I didn’t feel like myself anymore. I felt like all people saw now was Avery. I was nothing.  I didn’t want the photos of me to go up because next to my gorgeous boyfriend and my beautiful daughter, I was the fat lump of a woman. I tried to make an effort and done my hair and makeup, but I still felt like a fraud.  

I know that this is just post pardum feelings. I know I should talk to someone but all I want is to be home with my baby girl. I hear a throat clear, and I look up at Andy. “Baby, what’s wrong?”  I move to say nothing, but he cuts me off.  “My queen, you are sad. I can see it. Talk to me.”  

I can feel one tear fall down my cheek. “I don’t want them to post my picture,” I whisper.  

“Why?”  

“I feel gross and ugly, and I don’t want my picture there. I don’t need the whole word to know how much of a mess I am and that you have an ugly girlfriend and...” 

“Whoa, baby, stop right there.” Andy pulled us to the side, away from the crowd. “Sweetheart, you are beautiful, strong and amazing.  You cooked our little princess and protected her for nine months.  Look at her.”  I look down to the car seat where she sleeps. “You did that. You made that. That makes you a superhero Leia. That makes you, my queen. I worship at your feet because you gave me the greatest gift I could ever ask for.”  

“But, I don’t do anything.” I start to cry. “The night nurse takes care of her when I sleep, and Mrs. Langfield takes care of her and the house. I’m useless, Andy. Just a milk machine.” I hiccup. “All anyone sees is Avery and her cow.” 

He pulls me in and holds me tight. “Oh baby, why didn’t you say anything earlier?” 

“I don’t know. You’ve been so sweet to make sure I’m being taken care of I didn’t want you to think I am ungrateful. Because I’m so grateful Andy.” I sob harder into his chest as he cradles my head.  

“Sweetheart, you have to talk to me, okay? I don’t know what help you really need if you don’t tell me.” He kisses my forehead and lets me cry for a few moments before he tilts my head back. “How about this?  We will let the night nurse go in a couple of more weeks.  But she starts to get you up to feed instead of pumping. Then when you feel more comfortable, we’ll let her go.” 

I sniffle. “That sounds good.”  

“Ok.  As for Mrs. Langfield, I’m sure we can talk to her and tell her what you need, and she’ll be able to help. I don’t want to make life harder right now we the team almost in the playoffs.”  

“You think she’ll be ok with it?” 

“I’m sure she is willing to do anything for Avery.” He gave me his dazzling smile. “I promise we’ll figure this out, ok?” 

“Ok. I love you, Andy.” 

He leaned down and kissed me softly. “I love you, my queen. Let’s get my girls settled.” He took my hand and walked me to the box. We were immediate greeted by the WAGs that are already there and they started to coo over Avery.  

Avery, my perfect princess, decides this is the time to open her eyes and show off beautiful blue green eyes.  “Oh my,” Katerina Marchand coos. “She’s gorgeous Leia.” She looks at me and her smiles falls.  “Have you been crying Leia?” 

“Oh,” I wave her off, “I’m fine.”  

“Leia, honey,��� Moa sat next to me and took my hands. “You just had a baby seven weeks ago. And it wasn’t an easy birth. Its ok to not be ok.” 

I felt my lower lip wobble. “I’m just not feeling myself. I don’t know how Andy hasn’t run away because I’m so fat and ugly.”  

“Sweetie, that is absolutely not true,” Rebecca took my hands. “When we saw the post of you and Andy with the baby, David and I were commenting on how beautiful you look. It doesn’t even look like you’ve had a baby seven weeks ago.”  

I felt a big fat tear leak from my eye (stupid hormones). “Really?” 

“Yeah, really, I wish I looked half as good as you when I had our baby,” Rebecca said.  “It’s ok to feel uncomfortable and undesirable but that’s just the flood of hormones talking.  David has told me that Andy can’t stop showing off pictures of the baby and you. How sweet and peaceful his girls are. It's so sweet.”  

“Brad was telling me the same thing,” Katerina said. “You grew a human; you can be a little off for a while.” 

These ladies have embraced me as one of their own and I am forever grateful for it. I hadn’t had many girlfriends, just Stella and eventually, Miranda. But these women are ready to take me in and show me the ropes. “Thank you, ladies. Really, it means a lot.”  

“What does Andy say about all of this?” Moa asked.  

“He was upset I hadn’t said anything.  We’re going to make some changes that make sense and hopefully it will help.” I swallowed.  “He’s been so good to me, to us.” 

Moa smiled. “I knew that man was made to be a father.”  

A week later, life turned upside down.  We had talked to Mrs. Langfield, and she was more than happy to show me the ropes to being a mom. “I raised four of my own. It isn’t easy but it is the most rewarding thing you will ever do.” she patted my hand, and we went to work.  I thought that would end the drama, but it didn’t.  

Stella ended up on my doorstep while the guys were still in New York after clinching a playoff berth and she was a mess. “Stel?” 

“I need to hide out here for a while, please,” she said as fat tears rolled down her cheeks.  

“Of course, sweetie,” as I pulled her in. “What’s going on?” 

“Have you seen the headlines about the Bruins?” 

“Uh, no.” I picked up my phone. While I was still on maternity leave, I was trying to keep up with all the posts and letting my team know of any discrepancies. I scrolled and I saw the article about Jeremy going back to his partying ways.  “What the... I don’t understand.  I thought he was cleaning up his act and doing a damn good job at it.”  

“Yeah, he was.” She sniffed and wiped her nose.  “Because we had been taking care of each other.”  She looked at her lap and I froze.  

“You and Jeremy. You were, what?” 

“We were in a ‘friends with benefits’ situation.” She looked at me with sorrow. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but he was there when I broke up with Kevin and then it was supposed to be one night. But we didn’t stop, and it was great. I thought we were getting serious but then this and...” she breaks down and sobs and I wrap my arms around her.  

“It's going to be ok, Stel. You can stay here as long as you like.  I’m sure there is a perfectly good explanation and when you are ready, we’ll get the truth.”  

I feel for my friend. It's obvious that she’s in love with him. I’m not sure how I missed it but now she needed me to take care of her.  

Jeremy was benched soon after, not sure why. I would have to wait for Andy to get home.  

Andy 

What a shit show. 

Jeremy getting sent home is the last things I was expecting after his shutout performance. But I guess management didn’t like the photos and I couldn’t speak to the GM right away.  I finally caught up with him and explained that Jeremy had turned down the girl and I walked with him to his hotel room.  That Jeremy admitted to having a girlfriend whom he loved very much.  Once that got cleared up, they allowed him to rejoin the team once we got home.  

It was the day before the first playoff game and we would be on the road to Toronto. I was packing my bag when I hear, “Andy!”  

Fuck, Leia sounds panicked. I race down the stairs. “Leia, baby, what’s wrong?”  

She’s clutching our daughter like her life depended on it. “My mother messaged me, and I panicked. I’m sorry, I just... why is she doing this?” 

“Let me see the message.” I pick up the phone to read. 

Monica: I heard that you had the baby. I would like to meet with you and my granddaughter alone. We need to discuss yours and your daughter’s future.  

What the fuck. I look at my girl and she is afraid. “What is she trying to do?” 

“I don’t know but you know as soon as she realizes that you and Luke are gone, she’ll try to ambush me.”  

I didn't even think about that. Fuck, I can’t leave her here alone. But an idea forms, and I whipped out my phone. I send a message to the GM and he replies automatically. “Ok, sweetheart, why don’t you and Avery join us on the road?” 

“What?” 

“I just messaged the GM about having you on the trip. I told him it was a safety thing but since you are still the social media director, you still have the option to travel with us.”  

“But won’t I have to work? Who will watch Avery?” 

“My queen, I can guarantee she will have about 20 babysitters when she’s not with us.  Plus, Stella is going as well, so she can hold the baby if you need take some pictures and stuff. What do you say? Come be my lucky charm?” 

Babies, as it turns out, need a lot of stuff.  But it didn’t bother me in the slightest because it just meant that my girls were with me on the road.  Three suitcases later, I carried my baby girl onto the plane.  

“Holy shit! Princess Avery is in the house!” Jeremy yelled as he went to reach for her. He took the carrier off me and took her to his seat with Linus.  

“I guess Sway is taking the first shift,” I said to Leia who smiled. I pulled her to my row so she could sit with me and Luke. I get her settled and then go over to check on the baby with our goalies.  Linus already has her out of the carrier and in his arms, telling her something in Swedish. Jeremy just plays with her toes as he watched. “You guys good with her?” 

“Go away, Barber,” Linus says. “My niece and I are discussing all the things we will be doing when she visits me in Sweden.”  

Jeremy grins. “And I am making sure all of these toes are perfect. Shoo.” I chuckled.   

“Hey, I want to hold my niece as well,” David says.  

“Uh, she’s my niece too,” Brad says with a dramatic pout. The arguing gets loud, and Avery takes objection to it by letting out a loud wail.  I swoop in to take her into my arms.  

“Avery, my princess, what’s wrong? Did your uncles get too loud? You didn’t like big loud men scaring you?” I cooed at her. Her eyes open slightly. “There’s my girl.” She gives me a sleepy smile. I walk back to our seats to the protest of my teammates. “When you guys get a schedule down, then you can have her.  Until then, she’s with daddy.”  

“Yes, Captain,” I hear them all grumble. I smile as I sit with my girl. Leia leans on my shoulder to stare at my girl. She’s been getting better with the post-partum. She still has moments where she curls up and cries. We talked about maybe seeing someone to help her. I tell her every day that there is no shame, no shame whatsoever if she needs help. Mrs. Langfield has been a godsend.  She has been there for Leia when I have been on the road. Once she understood what was happening, she immediately knew what to do when I was so utterly lost.  

The flight was smooth sailing. Avery was a gem and we arrived in Toronto without an issue. Avery’s passport is so adorable and gets so many reactions as we go through customs.  We pile onto the bus and head to the hotel. I get my girls into their room (stupid travel rule: can’t sleep away from the team) and make sure they have everything they need. “I have a team meeting and then a walk through.  I’ll be a couple of hours, but Linus and Jeremy will be here since their schedule is different.  But if you need me, call me.” I kiss the top of Avery’s head before I softly kiss Leia.  “I love you.”  

“I love you. We’ll be okay, won’t we baby girl?” Leia talks to Avery as she sleeps.  “Shoo, I promise, I’m ok.”  

She’s got this, my brave warrior queen.  

Leia 

Avery and I walk down the team floor in search of a couple of goalies.  I find them going over tape in a conference room at the end of their hall. “Hey guys!” 

“Hey Leia,” Jeremy says, glancing at me before doing a double take when he sees Avery. “It’s the princess! He moves to take her from me and starts to walk around telling her secrets I can’t hear.  

“How are you, Leia?” Linus asks. Linus is a father twice over, so I know he knows about the post-partum. Moa, his wife, has been a godsend with the advice. 

“I’m getting better.  Being on the road is a good distraction.” I smile. “I actually need your guys' help.”  

“What's up?” Jeremy asks. I explain what I want to do, and the guys look at me funny. “Don’t you want a girlfriend for this?” 

“She has stuff to do while she’s here.” I don’t say her name because I know that she and Jeremy are still not speaking. When I thought about it, they make sense.  He is perfect for her and vice versa. The pictures looked bad but when Andy explained what had happened, I tried to talk to Stella, but she was not having it.  

“I’ll grab one of their sticks,” Linus offered. He went out to the equipment storage room, leaving me with Jeremy.  

Its awkward for a moment, until I hear, “is she ok?” I look up at him and my heart breaks for him. I’ve never seen the look in his eyes before. When he was angry, sure. Happy, all the time. But what he has is heart break because I can see that he is in love with my best friend.  

“She’s putting on a strong front, but I know she is heartbroken too. I’m trying to talk to her because Andy told me what happened, but she’s been hurt like this before. She’s protecting herself.”  

“From me? I told the guys I am in love that night. It's been her for a while. I was planning on telling her.” His posture is turn down in defeat.   

“Oh, Jer, I’m sorry.” I sit next to him and put my head on his shoulder.  

“I’m going to get her back Leia.  I have to. She’s my everything.”  

We hear the door opening and Jeremy wipes at his eyes. Linus comes in with two sticks and a couple of rolls of tape. He sees Jeremy’s eyes and frowns. “Everything ok?” 

“Yes Linus. Just reminiscing about the birth.” I look down at the stroller with Avery asleep. “Never got to properly thank Jer for holding my hand. I’m still sorry about your hand.”  

“Swear it’s the reason I got the shutout in New York,” he says with a wink. “So, do you have the paint?” 

Andy 

We’re headed out to warm up for game one when Alicia stops me and Luke.  “Guys, we need you to take some photos with some specialty sticks.” She guides us to the ice before handing us the sticks. We both pose before I look at the stick. And I choke up. “Alicia?” 

“Leia wanted to make them for you.” She smiled as she continues to snap pictures.  

On the tape of the blades are tiny hand and footprints in pink with the words “good luck daddy love Avery” painted on them. I see Luke wiping his eyes as he stares at his, the words “kick butt Uncle Luke” written on his. I look up and I see Leia with Avery in her carrier standing behind the bench. I get as close as I can. “You did this?” 

“I had some help but yeah. We’re so proud of you Andy.” She looks down at Avery, who has on the tiniest ear defenders on, in pink, of course. “I love you. Go kick some Toronto ass.” She presses her hand to the glass, and I reach up with mine.  

“I love you my queen and my princess.”  

I don’t play with that stick, but I leave it in the tunnel for luck.  And luck did it bring. We won that game and the next one to take the series back home. I’ve decided to keep that stick in my locker and take it with me for every game this playoff season.  

After we land, I tuck my girls into the car. Avery had a rough night, so Leia and I are dog tired. I had stayed on the phone with Leia while she worked to sooth Avery. She finally conked out around three A.M., and we had a flight at eight. Nobody was a happy camper but luckily, Avery stayed asleep in Luke’s arms, giving me and Leia some much needed rest.  

We have a light practice this afternoon and I keep thinking of things we need to get now that we are home. Maybe I can take Leia to bed. We’ve only started to fool around now that she has the all clear from her doctor. The thought of having her body under me starts to make me hard and I almost miss seeing a black Mercedes parked in front of the house and my defenses goes up. All thoughts of a sexy nap with my girl fly out the window. I pull the car all the way in the garage and close the door.  “Leia, stay inside with Avery.”  

“Andy? What’s the matter?”  

“I don’t know baby, but just stay inside. Don't open the door unless you see on the camera that I am alone.”  I move to go out the side door, lock it and pull it close. I move to the front of house and the car doors open.   

Fuck my life.  

NEXT

Taglist:

@patzammit @texmexdarling @slutforchrisjamalevans @firephotogrl74 @tinkerbelle67 @before-we-get-started @bunnyforhim @alexakeyloveloki @sunnyhummingbee @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @peaceinourtime82 @saucy-sassy-sparkly @kmc1989 @kandis-mom @lokislady82

[burning-academia-if]

NSFW! mc touching themselves oh so slowly, oh so teasingly, all for ???, not coming until ??? allows it ;)

Not sure if you wanted this as a prompt but I certainly turned it into one LOL NSFW under the cut.

warnings: mild possession, organism denial

The Voice is always so respectful of your boundaries. They’d never show up to such an intimate moment, not unless invited. You’re not sure when the thought creeped up on you, but now you lay in your bed in the dark, languid need mixing with curiosity. For all their endless teasing with you, you wonder. If you called for them in this moment, would they answer?

Your hand trails down your stomach, featherlight. Your eyes close and you reach out, tentatively, to the presence you’ve grown so familiar with. It only takes a second, and you feel their presence pooling into your mind, your body. The twitch of your fingers sings of their curiosity and you feel it as well as you’d feel your own emotions.

‘You called, little moon? What is it?’ They’re mocking. You know they are, because they can feel your own intentions and emotions as well as you can feel theirs in this moment.

“I was wondering, did you want to…be here during this?”

A soft laugh, and they ask with false naivety, ‘Here during what?’

“Me touching myself,” you say, exasperated. You knew they’re always teasing, but you think two can play at this game. Something akin to pleasure, their pleasure, thrums down your spine and you shift where you lay.

‘I’d be honored.’

Your body flushes as you rise from your bed. You turn towards the narrow, height-size mirror in your room. As they requested, you find yourself undressing slowly from it. You watch every movement because The Voice watches every movement. You know they’re taking their time, enjoying every inch of skin you reveal as you do so.

Affection tainted with lust wraps around their voice, ‘You’re stunning.’

Slowly, you kneel in front of the mirror. Watching yourself, you can’t help but say, “Too bad you aren’t here, right? Have you been longing to touch me?”

Without warning, you feel yourself lean forward, one hand ghosting lower and your other trailing against your lips. Your eyes trace the movement as your lips part. The Voice murmurs, ‘When we meet, I’ll show you just much I’ve been longing for you.’

Your hand lands between your legs and you start to rub and stroke. They make you watch, your body flushing as you watch yourself become wet and dripping. A slow pleasure washes over you, and so taken in, it makes it easier for them to do what they want—and you let them.

They take your hand and trail it against your neck, make your nails scratch and bite until you gasp. It’s not hard to imagine their own hands at your throat, their lips pressing against yours, their hand stroking you.

The image makes you squirm and you gasp at the mounting pleasure. You’re so, so close. You pick up the pace, desperate for release, then. They take control and force your hand to stop.

 A hiss escapes you, “What—?”

‘Did you really think I’d let this be over so soon? If you can be so daringly needy, I can be selfishly demanding.’ As you breathe hard, feeling yourself start to come down, they let go. You pause, and they urge you, ‘Go on. Try to finish.’

It’s a challenge. One you’ll gladly take. With a swallow, you start again.

You’re not sure how long they keep you there, making you get so close to finishing, only for them to force your hands to still. You hiss you’ll pay them back for this and their laugh, warm with heated pleasure, is their only response.

When they let you cum, it crashes into you. You can’t help the cry that you let out, your hips jerking and body spasming as you finally are allowed your release. As you come down, you feel yourself slowly slid down and lie on the floor, all energy drained.

‘How well you did,’ they sigh and you wonder if they can feel it, too. The warmth of your afterglow. They settle into your skin fully now, as they normally do. Now, after what’s transpired, it feels like a warm hug. ‘Can I expect more nights like this?’

“You wish,” you manage and grin at the thrum of their exasperation. You will, you know you will. You’ve never felt more content or satisfied before.

[radellama]

Resi Reviews pt3

Well, it’s been a little bit, huh? The first thing I wanna say is… I kinda fucked this up. Just a little bit.

See, I played both the Revelations games in 2022, but I put off writing about them because only writing two entries- both of which I felt luke-warm towards at best -seemed underwhelming. I was playing one of the Wii shooters with my sibling, but we never ended up finishing it, and new year’s came around. Then, suddenly, RE4R released, and I caved and bought it to play, taking notes all the while. And well, I figured I’d just write about all three and bundle them into this year’s Resi post- and here’s where I fucked up.

I only started using my new notes system this year (2023). So I’m running on memory for games I played 2 years ago now… And then one game I have ridiculously in depth notes for.

Don’t get me wrong, my memory is pretty decent, so I had no doubt I’d get the gist across for a review when I started writing – BUT……….. Since I leveled up my note-taking and go even more in depth with my new system, the Rev reviews may feel a bit more glossed over compared to RE4R. I have quickly studied the games and their plot again to jog my memory, and booted up the games to replay the first few chapters- everything short of a full replay. But yeah. I fucked up by putting it off for a whole year longer than I intended. Lol. Normal warning for surface level to mid range spoilers, and I’ll make a note of when I go deeper than that.

Anyway, here they are. Enjoy.

~~

Resident Evil Revelations, PS4

Well. This uh. This certainly is a Resi Game.

I played this on PS4, but found out pretty quick into playing that it was originally made for the 3DS. This is noticeable not only by the strange gimmicks along with simple and somewhat sparse level design, but also by the fact that the story is presented episodically. Viewing it in the context of it being a game designed for handhelds, ok, fine, I guess a more pick up and play style would have some benefits from a chapter recap as you play. However, the levels aren’t very long, and it was almost immediately tiresome to see a reel of what I’d just played at the start of new chapters. And boy, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I wanted to like this game so bad, and it almost had me, but ultimately, I can’t really say I favour it.

One thing I will give some credit to right away, is the setting of this game. Most of it takes place on a cruise ship, the Queen Zenobia, and it has a stronger focus on the slower paced survival horror style of gameplay- especially compared to games in the main numbered series at the time that were becoming increasingly action focused. The idea of being trapped on a ship with a bunch of bioweapons for enemies is a confronting and scary setting, and this game certainly had its moments. While you’re on the ship, the waves are simulated by a slow and constant dutch angle rocking back and forth. While this is a cool choice stylistically, I found myself motion sick fairly quickly when playing on the tv (which got me wondering if I’d feel as sick playing on handheld as intended, but I’m sensitive to these sorts of things regardless). Generally, the gameplay itself was fine, but the plot… oh, the plot…

It is So. Fucking. Messy.

It has the dumbest ‘twists,’ and a frankly awful and confusing presentation of cast and plot. The chapters aren’t chronologically presented, which isn’t necessarily a detriment- if done well. But, with how convoluted things get, I think this was a shit choice. Not only were there certain characters I couldn’t recognise were the same person across different time periods, I just plain ol’ couldn’t keep up with certain character motivations and was left with a confused expression for a majority of my playthrough.

See, in the greater Resi timeline, this game is a little after Chris and Jill have founded the BSAA – their solution to counter bioterrorism, post RE3. There’s some fucked up bioterrorism going on at an… artificially floating island, named Terragrigia- that is self sustained by it’s advanced solar energy network. Then, when it’s infested with bioweapons, some guy makes the decision to vaporise the island and destroy it. Some characters speculate on whether this was an inside job or something- but honestly, these flashbacks/history settings are so terrible that I honestly cannot follow. I have played the game myself, watched other playthroughs/lore recaps as refreshers (both while playing originally and now for this write up lol) and just generally read up on the wikis, IT STILL MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE TO ME. Pair this with the fact that Jill is paired with a bland, knock off Barry Burton, and Chris is paired with a one-note, oversexed, homebrand version of Jill… UGH!!! It feels like they can’t focus on or commit to anything! The plot bounces all over the fucking place, setting up things that are seemingly there just to waste your time and fuck with you. I don’t find this kind of thing fun or enjoyable, and it’s a great example of what I mean when I say something feels like it’s punishing you for paying attention.

So, the Terragrigia thing is just the backdrop (that’s honestly not enough to justify how much they harp on about it imo) to set up the fact that Chris has gone missing. His signature was lost in the middle of the ocean, and some middle-aged man tasks Jill and Parker (homebrand Barry) with going out to find him. The first chapter is the two of you arriving on the boat, and investigating to try and find Chris. There’s signs of bioterrorism, and there are even a few recent victims that were killed moments before Jill or Parker could do anything to help. This was a pretty good introduction, and I liked it! It set the scene, showed off the unique and claustrophobic setting of being on a boat in the middle of the ocean, and it genuinely felt like a return to survival horror despite keeping the ots action shooter setup when fighting. It was a much slower pace, creeping around the derelict halls of a once grand cruise ship, with the occasional jump from this game’s ‘zombie.’ I remember the first time playing through this section, I was thinking that it was an interesting choice, and generally looking forward to what was going to happen… But that engagement didn’t last long, as it’s immediately destroyed by it’s shit pacing and storytelling.

The next section of the same chapter is a flashback to just before Jill and Parker get sent out to find Chris, and you’re just on some gross beach with a bunch of beached bioweapon corpses. This section exists SOLELY as a tutorial on how to use the scanning thingy, which could’ve been integrated into the hand-holdy intro sections on the boat more seamlessly. If you’ve already got little cues that tell you to hold L2 to aim and R2 to shoot, what’s so bad about having a prompt during a close encounter with a bioweapon saying hold L1 to aim and R1 to scan? You can even have Parker just say some shit like, “Scan this thing, I’ll keep it distracted!” Cue button prompts, scan completed, kill the thing, maybe make a comment on how their boss will be glad for the info and to keep an eye out for more shit to scan. WHY does there need to be an entire sequence that grinds all momentum to a halt because you’re jumping back and forth in time within the SINGLE CHAPTER. It just gets worse, and I’m going to TRY and keep it brief, cause I seriously get pissed off thinking about this game for too long lmao.

Turns out, Chris wasn’t on this ship, and now Jill and Parker haven’t been able to be contacted since they went looking for him. Chris is suddenly able to be contacted, and he along with Jessica (homebrand sex appeal) were actually in some snowy mountains, and are now going to try track down Jill and Parker. You bounce between these two plot lines, AND a third where some ragtag duo go out to the same places other characters have been to, (but not at the same time as them, it’s before or after) and just do general recon or something. That’s three character povs to keep track of, not to mention the secondary characters that are supposedly important AND all the bouncing around between times. STOP IT! JUST PICK A FUCKING THING AND COMMIT TO IT. SO MUCH OF THIS GAME COULD’VE BEEN GENUINELY GREAT TO PLAY AS A RETURN TO FORM, BUT YOU FUCKED IT UP WITH THIS INCONSISTENT SHIT! IT IS PURE SLOP!! IT IS NOT FUN TO PLAY OR FOLLOW ALONG WITH AND WHOEVER WAS DIRECTING OR FORCIBLY ADDING THIS SHIT IN NEEDED A SLAP ON THE WRIST AND A FEW HOURS IN A TIME OUT CORNER TO ACTUALLY THINK ABOUT WHAT THE HELL THEY WERE DOING. If I can’t really communicate the gist of this game in ONE paragraph, let alone multiple, something has gone terribly wrong. I admit I get more heated over this kind of thing, as I am someone who cares very much about the narrative and presentation of stories- and spend a lot of time crafting my own stories to make sure that they are interesting and understandable. I KNOW how hard it can be to create a game, or a film, or a written text- ANYTHING. I have been working in teams and on my own to create stuff for YEARS at an indie level, and have an understanding of the industry level too. I’m not just saying this to bitch and moan, I’m saying it because I care and would expect the same criticism if the things I made were getting this out of hand!

Anyway!

There are more plot points that set up some shit about the cult (?) that started the bioterrorist attack on Terragrigia, as they’re the ones that have lured the BSAA to the boat in the middle of the ocean- and how there’s double crossers amongst them. Whatever. I don’t care. Nothing makes a lick of sense, and it’s hard to find any justification to play like this. Jill is the best and I like Chris fine enough, so it should’ve been reeeeaaal easy to set up at least one of them to have the best plot thread or gameplay in the game. But no. I actually found myself getting the most enjoyment out of two side characters named Quint and Keith.

Quint. And Keith.

Two guys who the designers apparently put so much effort into, making visual choices like ‘epic tattoos to show that he’s cool’ and ‘has a slightly larger head than usual to show that he is smart.’ They have a cool soundtrack during their sections, and they’re dorky as hell, but idk man. Amongst all this slop and just... Bland or irritating personalities for Chris and Jill to bounce off of- these two had so much more of a tangible personality and chemistry to them, so their parts are some of the more memorable that I played. And I still didn’t care that much, cause it felt like I was playing a different game during their sections. I think, looking back on it, their sections are fine; but it seemed better because it was sandwiched between two other things that were a lot more tedious. Chris and Jill had their moments too, but I’m honestly struggling to recount anything that isn’t fighting the same pale looking gloop bioweapons on a boat. Even the incessant ‘last time on resident evil’ recaps didn’t help, as there was just too much going on and nothing was actually clear!! Even in a recap!!! And, the whole cult thing is just… eugh. They quote Dante’s Inferno a lot, but none of the quotes used felt particularly fitting to what was going on- rather, that it was being referenced for the auto fellatio that it truly was. This game thinks it’s a lot clever-er than it is, and I often found the reveals or ways the story was explaining things was presented in a smarmy and almost condescending way. IF the story was presented well enough, these things wouldn’t have come across in such a negative way; especially because there is nothing smart going on here. If there was more care and effort put into making the story interesting, yet still mysterious- scaling back all the unnecessary wank and just focusing on one or two core plot points, that branch out into a few subplots or side info, and really hone in on what is motivating these characters instead of leaning into cliches… There could’ve been a REALLY great game here. Instead, all this convoluted crap has blended together into a forgettable mess, which is a massive shame.

Anyway, to finish retelling the plot... It’s just shit. Turns out Jill and whoever weren’t even on the right boat to begin with because there was a twin ship and whatever. It takes ages for Chris and Jill to reunite, and it is genuinely nice when they get to team up near the end- but the whole mess with the cult who kidnapped them is annoying and frankly boring, and the grand reveals at the end didn’t actually reveal much. It was an inside job to try get more funding for the BSAA or some shit, and it went a bit sideways. Some bland middle aged man is the true evil behind it all, and that’s just so interesting and thought provoking because who would’ve guessed that the random late 40s white guy with no personality would be the big bad pulling the strings, especially when it’s easy to forget who he is.

HOW BORING.

It’s all just an honest let down, especially when they forced us to play through so many sequences IN THE TERRAGRIGIA PANIC… WHO FUCKING CARES!!! ITS JUST SHOOTY SHOOT BANG BANG AND I DON’T CARE!!! I’VE COME HERE TO PLAY RESI, NOT COD!!! Also, if it wasn’t annoying enough to have been duped into playing the same fucking maps twice, but with Chris and Jill, and scratching your head wondering why these seemingly parallel events aren’t interacting with each other, only to have it slammed on you that nothing in this story matters or makes any sense- I found two characters particularly miserable.

Our two.. uh.. protagonsists? Antagonists? Double crosser- no, wait. TRIPLE CROSSERS. Jessica and Raymond. Tbh, Raymond is simply a victim of shitty writing and characterisation, as he was trapped in some stupid fucking contrivances and misleading moments. I found him frustrating due to how many times he’s set up to be a blatant double crosser, but with just enough leeway to maaaaybe not be. He’s a bit standoffish and hostile, which doesn’t help his case, but it’s disappointing because just as he was finally getting interesting towards the end, its fucked up with a double-cross-turned-triple-cross for one final moment of ‘huh???’ that kind of undoes anything for him. His character motivations are so sloppy and didn’t make sense to me. Is he for or against the cult? What does he gain from this? Why is he part of this whole mess? Nothing is clear, not even the way he acts as you interact with him on the ship. It’s a shame too, as during one of the flashback sequences to the Terragrigia incident, he was wounded pretty badly and Parker had to help him to safety. He seemed pretty disillusioned by it all, and was already questioning if it was an inside job or not- which is a pretty good setup for if he WAS going to be a double agent for either side, depending on which one appealed to him the most. Instead, he just feels like a let down, and is constantly hanging around in the peripheral of everything as a permanent red-haired herring.

Jessica is one that grated me more, however, and I feel like its a triple whammy of the shit writing, oversexed and wildly different outfits she has, and the fact that she’s with you through half the game when you play as Chris, so you can’t escape her. She’s supposed to be a coy, flirtatious and danger seeking babe- but it came across to me as a desperate, attention seeking wreck who prioritised trying to get a reaction out of Chris over their mission. Like, hello? She complains near the end about Chris not getting the hint, as she’s been annoyingly suggestive with him- and the first thought I had was, ‘girl, why didn’t YOU get the hint?’ Chris has never really had any romantic inclinations explored or depicted in the games, and while he’s on missions, he’s very much focused on the mission. Why he’d make an exception for you, Jessica, I don’t know. I also didn’t like how she changed looks so drastically between time periods, in the past she has a bob cut, and in the present mission she has very long wavy hair. I know people in real life can have very different haircuts over the years, (I know I certainly have), but for a game… Being able to know who someone is, is actually really important. Instead of worrying about how to make her oh so cute (in a way I can’t help but feel seems distinctly from the gaze of a group of horny middle-aged men…) I think they should’ve focused on a specific character motif, and kept it similar to how we see her in the present so that it reduces confusion. There are three main costumes she wears across the story, and each time I thought it was a new woman. And don’t get me started on the goddamn fucking wetsuit. A WHOLE leg, AND ass cheek, out for the world to see… You literally work against bioterrorism. Yknow, the thing where if you make contact with the wrong stuff, you’ll become a monster???? Let’s just… leave a whole leg and half my ass out for the bioweapons to have a cheeky nibble on. That’s going to be really cool for this mission. I have the same thoughts about Jill practically having her tits bulging out of her wetsuit, and think her wetsuit is wayyy more sexed up compared to her male co-workers, but at least she doesnt have an ass cheek hanging out. I wanna say the same for Chris, who’s always got his sleeves rolled up, even in the winter tundra, or wherever the fuck they were, especially because he uses his big, strong arms to block and defend… But you get the picture- plus he’s got the illogical costume choices for cool dude points, not cause the designers were horny. I’m not even saying this cause I hate sexy things, I usually enjoy seeing the alt costumes you unlock and playing with them for fun, and most of them are cute or sexy and almost always impractical- it’s just incredibly annoying to me when the sexy comes from this objectifying and frankly stupid thought process, instead of the inherent sex appeal coming from something that makes sense for the character. Jessica is completely a sex object here, and the fact that everything down to her personality revolves around that annoys me. She’s not a good femme fatal type, but she could've been. If she was even a TINY BIT more subtle about things- her flirting, her sketchy behaviour, all of it -THIS COULD’VE BEEN INTERESTING. Again, like Raymond, WHY is she double crossing, what’s in it for her? If she wasn’t so overtly flirtatious to the point where Chris seems to be playing up how oblivious he is, and instead went for something more friendly and seemingly genuine to get info on Chris and his character, it’d make sense that she’s trying to play into her sexuality and sex appeal to break down his walls and get sensitive info that’d benefit her. If she wasn’t always acting like a reckless fool with a death wish, there might have been a way to make it look to her partners that she’s always just at the wrong place at the wrong time and use that to cover for the real reason why she’s there. Like, cmonnnnnn I don’t want to hate her if I don’t need to, but there’s nothing there that I like!

Sighhhhh. Bit of a tangent there, but seriously. It annoys me. I hate lazy designs and writing like this, do better.

Anyway, the controls were fine. Standard ots shooter style that you’d expect from a game like this, and it generally handles pretty well. While some of the locations and set design can feel bland and sparse at times- as I mentioned at the beginning, it was made for 3DS originally -but given that, the HD overhaul here is pretty nice and the character models don’t look too bad. It’s nothing stand out, but nothing looked or felt particularly wrong to me either. The only real gripe I have with this game, other than the ridiculousness I’ve just spent a few rather long-winded paragraphs getting into, is this scanning reticle. I did mention this briefly, but I need you to understand just how odd of a gameplay choice this is. When you scan enemies, you get to increase the percentage amount at the top, which will give your a healing item when you reach 100%. That’s nice, but there are plenty of healing items scattered about, AND if you just scan around the rooms, you’ll unlock more items to pick up. There’s barely any enemy variation either, so it’s not like you’re compelled to scan various new kinds of bioweapon you haven’t see before, because all of them look the same. It’s hard to ever feel pressed for resources due to the abundance of them you get from using the scanner. There are also little handprint things you can find that are only visible through the scanner, and whatever. They’re an optional collectable, that’s nothing bad. It was just a shame to me that there was only ONE instance where it genuinely felt cool and worth it to be using the scanner.

Right near the end, there was a lazer puzzle you had to navigate through, and you could only see the lazer beams through the scanning reticle. THAT’S AWESOME. If this was more integrated into the gameplay, beyond getting a few extra items here and there, that would’ve been so much more fun! Particularly for puzzles, as there were quite a few puzzle sections here that were nice to see as a return to classic resi vibes. The soundtrack was pretty decent, too. There are some tracks I genuinely enjoyed, but a few got annoying real fast. I don’t really have much to say on it beyond that.

So, in closing. This game sucked, and I wish it didn’t. It had a lot of promise as a return to classic resi for fans that felt alienated by the action focus modern resi was taking. It’s a strange game with some genuinely good ideas buried beneath the shit, and I think it needed a bit more time to be refined, or a director with a sterner and clearer vision for this as a project. And less sex for objectifcation’s sake, please. The main resi cast are already beyond hot and dripping with sex appeal, you don’t need to try so hard. Put that energy into a strong and enjoyable gaming experience next time.

Quint and Keith

Rest & Intensify

A Drop of Rain

~~

Resident Evil: Revelations 2, PS4

This game is so much better than it’s predecessor. Not perfect, but a massive improvement. I actually had fun with this, too, and got sucked in pretty quickly while replaying chapter 1 as a refresher for this write up.

Like it’s previous counterpart, this spin off game is an attempt to bring back the horror aspects to the franchise while the main numbered games veered off into action shooters- and for the most part, I’d say it achieved that goal. It is certainly scarier than I found RE5 or RE6 to be, and often reminded me of RE0 and Code Veronica at certain points. If I were to describe Revelations 1’s scariness as: an unsettling but building fear that’s always in the background, paired with high strung tension from encounters with friends and foes - Revelations 2 felt more to me like a mix of two types of horror scares: immediate danger, and the unease of never feeling safe enough to recover from that danger. Sure, Rev 2 is as cheesy as a B grade horror movie at times- but with a plot that’s easier to follow and gameplay that was generally fun and memorable, I had a great time. I can’t deny that some of my feelings towards both these Revelations games comes from originally playing them back to back- but as a sort of call and response to each other as spin offs, I think it’s fair enough to draw comparisons in this way.

This game starts with Claire at a work function, meeting Moira Burton, Barry’s eldest daughter, as she’s a new recruit for the same organisation she works at. We have a little exposition to find out that Moira and Barry have a strained relationship, and are currently in some form of estrangement from each other. The two ladies are working for Terrasave, a humanitarian company that aims to help those affected by bioterrorism- with one of the worst slogans I’ve ever heard: because ‘terr’ doesn’t have to end with ‘orrist.’ I thought it was a fairly well known thing within advertising that you DON’T want to put anything in your marketing that will remind customers of competitors or negative connotations - but this bad slogan is a form of self fulfilling prophecy, as some terrorists crash the party, shooting up the place and kidnapping Claire and Moira. When Claire wakes up, alone in a grotty jail cell, she notices a strange bracelet that’s been welded around her wrist. Before she can really take in anything, her cell door opens, and she’s able to wander around the derelict halls where she hears Moira calling for help. She’s also got a strange bracelet, and the two of them are directed further into the facility they’re being held in. There are telltale signs of bioweapon experiments, and before long they come across one of Claire’s coworkers, covered in blood and desperately trying to get help before she passes away at their feet. The further into the facility they travel, the more they find strange experiments and have to fight off zombies, (yes, zombies are in a resident evil game again!) and they come to realise that there is a woman closely watching them, who eventually makes herself known via the bracelets. Both girls clearly want out, and head for a radio tower to put out a distress call, and it’s here that they realise they are on a small and isolated island by themselves. That’s already an enticing plot: they’re stranded, there’s a dangerous variety of traps and bioweapons to contend with, and they have some crazed woman watching over them as she curates danger around them. To really add the cherry on top, at the end of every Claire and Moira section, each chapter is closed with a Barry section, set 6 months after the events we’ve just played through with the girls. Barry’s side of the story starts with him traveling by boat to the island, listening to the recorded radio transmission of Moira in the hopes of recovering his little girl. It’s unclear to him whether she is alive or not, but he is determined to find out what happened and bring her home, no matter what it takes. As soon as he docks, a little girl named Natalia finds him, and insists on coming along with him to find Moira. As they journey, they start to grow a bond like father and daughter, and together they set out to get to the bottom of things.

That’s a lot of gameplay per chapter, and it’s a welcome amount compared to the previous game’s chapter length. Instead of playing what feels like 10-30 min worth of the game before you’re hit with a chapter break and ‘last time on resident evil revelations;’ here it feels closer to 30-60 min PER SECTION, making it at least a good hour or more that you’d play both parts of the chapter before you’re hit with a recap. This is a much better pace to experience the story, as it not only gives time to get familiar with the game and it’s controls, but also lets the environment and story have time to breathe and sink in. While there are still recaps, they don’t feel as eye-rollingly painful, and are actually decent recaps of what was just played. The chapters feel like a decent play session; and in it’s original release, each chapter came out episodically week by week. The game wasn’t developing the chapters each week, as the entire game was completed and they just spaced the releases as a way of spreading out the content and potentially making more money- copying the hype of other games around that same time that were seeing success with this episodic model of play. I won’t speak much about that particular aspect, as when I played, it was years after release and I had the entire story ready to play at my leisure. But I will say I get an odd- and cautiously critical -feeling when larger AAA studios mimic the methods that smaller/indie studios use (often out of necessity) to squeeze a few extra bucks out of their customers, just because it was successful for a few select titles. I’d like to give a more thoughtful and nuanced opinion on this, but due to it being out of scope for this written retrospective, I’m not going to research further and I’ll just leave you with that comment, and you can draw your own conclusions based on it.

Other improvements to the formula of this spin-off series is that, instead of a clunky reticle to scan shit in the environment, the two supporting characters can make use of passive moves that act in similar ways to the scanning reticle, but in ways that are better integrated. See, in each scenario you play, there will be one character who is more geared to offence and active attacks, and the other to passive and supporting attacks. Claire has gone through this shit before, and Barry is an ex-STARS member who currently works in the BSAA - both of them have had extensive weapons and combat training, along with the experience needed to make their way through bioweapon littered landscapes. They are both the active halves of their duos, with most of their moves tied to their guns. The other halves, Moira and Natalia, do not wield guns, and make use of their own melee weapons for attack and defence. Natalia doesn’t use any firearms because, well, she’s like nine years old; and Moira has a very strong aversion to using guns after an accident in her childhood. When she was little, she was playing around with one of her fathers guns and accidentally shot her little sister, and Barry was upset and blamed her, even though the sister survived. This guilt on both sides, and lack of communication or understanding towards each other is what’s led to the strain on their relationship, and is why Moira and Barry haven’t been able to see eye to eye for a long time. So, instead, Moira makes use of a torch and a crowbar to blind and stun enemies accordingly; while Natalia can pick up and throw bricks, and make use of an uncanny sixth sense that allows her to see the auras of enemies nearby and point them out to Barry. During gameplay, it only takes a second to switch between characters as you’re playing, so you can easily look around for clues or blind enemies with Moira using the torch, or scope out the area for enemies with Natalia before switching over to Claire or Barry to start attacking. I quite enjoyed this for the most part, as both characters in each section feel distinct in their own ways without feeling that one is too much of a burden over the other. The ai for the characters isn’t too bad either, and feels like a nice refinement on the gameplay ideas from RE0. Having the characters be a duo also meant that expositional dialogue didn’t feel as awkward as it would be if they were on their own, and I really enjoyed seeing how the characters got to know each other and evolve in their own ways during the story. Sometimes the responses during conversations did feel a bit stilted, with unnatural delays between responses as you’re walking around, but in general, this dynamic was fun!

There’s all the standard guns, melee attacks and sub weapon usage here you’d expect of a modern resi game, along with a dedicated button to use healing items, evading enemy attacks and to sprint. The healing button is great, and so much better that you have to press and hold to confirm it’s usage, instead of accidentally wasting a valuable heal when you accidentally press the button. The inclusion of the run and evade buttons elevated the combat, and allowed a bit more freedom for how you want to approach them- but it did make the game feel a lot more action heavy, which is at odds with some of the horror elements by reducing the tension somewhat. Nitpicky, yes, but as this spin-off series has been presented as an alternative to the fans that miss the earlier survival horror aspects, having such an action-biased combat scheme feels a bit strange in that regard. However, I do think that it works while you’re playing, in the sense that it didn’t feel like I was struggling against the controls during encounters with enemies. At least, not much…

There were a lot of moments that felt very stop-starty, where there were overly directed sequences that took the camera controls away from me so that it can force me to look where it wants. This happens a lot during slower gameplay moments where I found that I’d already seen and put together what it wanted me to look at, or I just plain don’t want to look at it, yet the controls are yanked away from me in this manner. I get it, you want to make sure the player knows where to look during certain moment, but I really don’t like this style of camera direction. The whole point of having the camera in my control with the dual stick is that, well, I CONTROL IT. I don’t want to have to struggle against it during a section that is still technically in gameplay, aka, my domain of control. If you REALLY want to direct my attention to something specific, either make it visually interesting enough that I naturally want to direct my eye towards it, orrrrr just have a fucking cutscene. I found this struggle against the camera particularly egregious when using the sprint button- the camera zooms in a bit and just snakes very narrowly behind you, making it difficult to see where you’re going or even move! I don’t know if they did this to discourage sprinting across levels, but at that point, why include it at all if you want to discourage it? I ended up having to do a shitty claw grip of my controller where I had my thumb pressing the button to sprint, and my pointer wrapped around to control the camera because I would just be running into walls and corners if I couldn’t fight against the camera myself. There is also something… strange… about the way Claire moves. It’s hard to really say, but there were lots of little things, that, added up made me feel very strange about her. She walked in a strange kind of hunch, one that looks like she’s unpracticed in wearing heels, and at certain times she dawdles strangely instead of the normal walking pace. When she walked faster or started sprinting, I noticed a very strange weight that made her a bit hard to direct at the start and stop of things, which I didn’t notice to the same degree with her partner Moira. And this was strange, because during the Barry sections, he felt weighted and moved in ways that felt more natural; which leads me to thinking that Barry and Claire might share the same move sets, or at least the same base, which is odd. That’s purely speculation, but on a quick replay of the first chapter, and some rounds in raid mode, Claire just felt off to me to play as, and that’s my only hypothesis as to why.

Getting more into the mechanics of the game, there were some choices made here. Firstly, the weapons upgrade system from Rev1 is back. During the game, you may come across certain weapons parts, and when you can access a gun table that’s placed somewhere within the levels, you can combine those parts with your guns to upgrade and custom mod them depending on your play-style. This is fine, I used it to upgrade my stuff but I don’t particularly care for it- I’m just not that much of a gun guy. I appreciate what it brings, but I think I prefer to just have weapons be what they are like in RE1make or RE2make, or like RE4 where there's just a certain amount of upgrades in certain categories that you purchase. It just gives me a similar frustration as starting up Mario Kart 8, where you have to build a kart combo with stats that aren’t the most clearly spelled out (and some stats that are important are just.. not mentioned at all?) before you can race. I don’t want to spend ages figuring out a kart build, I want to race. I don’t really care to collect certain weapons parts and create a custom gun, I want to find the evil residents. You get me? I feel like that particular frustration is just exacerbated by the fact that there’s a skill tree. Now, this isn’t a completely fresh concept to resi, but, I didn’t like how they did it in RE5 or RE6 either lol. Here, when you complete chapters or do certain cool things for cool points, you’ll get a currency that you can use to purchase skills within the skill tree. These are things like: giving Moira a melee attack or finishing move with her crowbar, increasing the power of subweapons and certain attacks, increase the range between partners to use healing items on each other- that sort of thing. I don’t love it, but it’s perfectly fine as far as skill trees go. They add some much needed moves to the characters, especially for Moira and Natalia, that makes it easier for them to not only survive, but contribute to any fights you get into. While I find myself frustrated at times by the fact that there is a skill tree, it works fine, and once you have unlocked most of the good things, it makes itself worth it. Overall, it feels more refined compared to the way systems like these were implemented in Rev1, so I can’t complain too much. I didn’t even use the weapons upgrade shit in Rev1 much to be honest, so I think overall, I just don’t care for these things that tie into the game being more action focused than I would have liked.

In general, the locations you play through look and feel nice to explore, as much a grotty horror settings can. They’re definitely campy, but that is kind of expected of a resi game, if I’m honest. What sucks though, and I know I just praised it, is the fact that when you play a Claire section followed by a Barry section, you go through the same areas. Yes, there are changes, and there are some areas that are unique to each duo, but it does get pretty tiring when the differences are so slight that it dampens the more unique aspects of each. And although I really loved that there were more puzzles here, and some that genuinely had me thinking, I did find that a good majority of puzzles felt more like fetch quests to gather items in a certain order to unlock places and things, and not disguised enough to stay interesting for me. Within each level as well, it felt like there were separate sequences to go through as separate layers while you play. I don’t know exactly how I feel about it, as I enjoyed some of the spookier sequences, and did enjoy some of the more action focused areas; but there is a slight feeling of oil against water for me. I’m more than willing to chalk it up to the necessities of game design, and again I think it’s the fact that these spin-offs are talked about as being the scarier alternative of it’s time that makes it stand out so much to me. This in itself is frustrating, as on the whole, I think I really enjoyed playing this game despite my gripes with it…

A gripe I don’t really have is with the visuals and sound design. I enjoyed the look of the various buildings and landscapes, and although sometimes it was silly, it worked for me. And the music and sound design was just great, there’s a moody feel that the soundtrack brings to the visuals that just makes it all a really nice experience. The sounds of the weapons especially felt nice and had a good weight to them, which is always nice when they can pull it off. The UI is a slightly different manner, as it’s all a uniform orange type of thing. I appreciate the consistency, however, at times I found it difficult to actually tell what I had in my pockets or figure out what upgrades I was giving my gun because things are too similar. I think it’s still better than Rev1’s, and you get used to it, but readability in UI is something I’m becoming increasingly nitpicky and passionate about, I think. It does it’s job, though, so I can get over it. It’s not the tic-tac-tetris style UI of RE6, so I can live with it.

I’m going to take this chance to talk about the story more in depth so next few paragraphs will be the spoilery ones. To start, I really liked the way Barry was written. He had an interesting dynamic with Natalia, and it was nice to see that despite their differences, he is clearly willing to go to any length for Moira, and having that paternal affection and protectiveness extend to Natalia. Moira herself is ok, she swears like a sailor in ways that felt silly at times, and felt more like out-of-touch adults writing a teen instead of authentic teenagery mannerisms to me. Natalia is fine, she’s a young girl who’s gone through a lot, and tbh I think she’s more memorable when she’s with Barry compared to any sections where she’s with Claire and Moira. And Claire… UGH! Claire is probably my favourite protag in the franchise, and I feel like she was done dirty while it was also a really nice game for her. On one hand, it is soooo nice to see how she’s matured into such a capable and level headed woman who is clever and quick-witted. WE LOVE TO SEE IT. On the other… She’s seemingly forgotten certain things that were character staples for her in RE2 and CV. There’s a scene where Claire and Moira bump into Natalia, and she’s frightened cause she’s a little girl and these are two strange women she’s never met before, and Claire comes off too cold and demanding in a way that frightens Natalia even more, causing Moira to step in and be the comforting presence. Like?? HELLO?? Did the writers forget about Sherry? How Claire was not only a comforting presence to her while she was UNTRAINED AND INEXPERIENCED, but continued to be a nurturing figure in Sherry’s life as she grew up? Does that mean nothing? It especially annoys me because Claire is literally being the guiding and nurturing figure TO MOIRA. RIGHT HERE IN THIS GAME. Moira is a total rookie, I think she’s literally just joined Terra-Save the evening she was kidnapped and probably wasn’t meant to go on missions any time soon; and Claire is the one that is not only keeping them together and taking charge in trying to get them out of there, but she’s able to quickly adapt to the fact that Moira is gun averse and takes on that role for the both of them.

Due to the fact that Moira’s ptsd regarding guns and the incident where she accidentally shot her sister is such a prevalent talking point for her character, I would think it makes more sense for Moira to be more out of touch with what a little girl needs as a comforting presence- as she was traumatised when she was young, and we can easily add that she became avoidant of not only her dad, but her sister and family in general too - and that seeing Natalia is bringing up a lot of buried feelings that’s she’s unsure how to deal with, because she’s a frightened teen in a traumatic situation! If Moira had self imposed an exile on herself and didn’t get along with any of her immediate family, that can mean that seeing Natalia periodically and then losing her a few times give her a chance to talk with Claire about how she feels guilty and sad about that fact that the issue with the gun robbed her of her childhood innocence AND a childhood with her sister. This would just strengthen the themes presented with Barry, where he is going to drastic lengths for Moira because she is STILL HIS DAUGHTER, and that protecting Natalia is allowing him to kind of process how poorly he had handled the incident with Moira, and do better for Natalia right now at the very least. This super small change would also give Claire the chance to reflect on her own sibling relationship, and give her a chance to talk about what Chris and Barry mean to her, as they were both family figures for her. There’s a really fucking fantastic framework here that suits the dramatic heights the game is going for, but it squanders it with stupid things like Claire suddenly not being calm and kind enough to comfort a scared girl. She isn’t too badass to do things like that, she’s badass because she can do things like that. Things like this made me feel like Barry was more prioritised as a protag, despite Claire being clearly presented as the main character. It just sucks and I feel sad about it, because there’s not much I feel needs changing about Barry’s side of the story. He feels like Barry, acts and talks like Barry, and it’s so nice to get a game that takes a closer look at him as a character. It’s a great entry for him, but I feel conflicted about Claire’s depiction here.

I think the other major thing that felt strange about Claire is actually the way the main antagonist is presented as well. See, she’s apparently a Wesker, and she’s continuing her brother’s research of the Ouroubourous Virus to help her create the T-Phobos virus- a virus that only triggers mutation when the subject is afraid. She wants to become immortal and live a life free of fear, convinced that if she can find a subject that is immune to fear, she can transfer her consciousness to them and live on. There’s a lot to unpack here, because they were setting up a lot and it didn’t quite live up to what they’d hoped. In general, yes, Alex Wesker here is a more tangible antagonist- and she has a fantastic presence in scenes due to the work of her voice actor. The narrative-theme-based-on-a-classic is back, where they took to the writings of Franz Kafka as some rather on-the-nose themes for the game- Metamorphosis, And All That. I’m glad they actually feel thematically relevant, but I just think it’s a shame that Wesker felt… weak. With all the themes of family and siblings here, I think it would’ve been nice to see that Alex is becoming desperate because of Albert’s death- as it is, we don’t really see any mention of how their relationship or his death affected her, just a mention that she’s used his research to assist in her pursuits of perfection. It also sucks because I can’t help but feel that they were trying to set up a rivalry, or at least make a call back to it, because the antagonist is a Wesker and the protagonist is a Redfield. Chis and Albert had such an insane rivalry because Chris trusted Wesker, working underneath him for presumably years, and then it went wild when they cross paths in CV and RE5. Claire only just met Alex once she’s been kidnapped, and figures out that Alex is directing the horrible events on the island- there’s no history, or push and pull tension here; other than the fact that Claire wants to get out of here and stop this mess. I don’t think they could’ve drawn a comparable dynamic between Alex and Claire as there was with Albert and Chris – but there is room for some narrative tension and parallel!

Firstly, I don’t really understand WHY Alex is pursuing perfection, as it’s not really discussed in depth. Albert isn’t a biological brother to Alex, but he is the only other subject from the Wesker project who survived this long- and clearly it affected her when she learnt of his death. The first time she heard of his death, he had faked it as well, so who’s to say there won’t be some strange reaction to her hearing about his death after RE5? When playing the first time, I honestly thought that she was trying to perfect this consciousness transferring thing in order to ‘resurrect’ Albert in some capacity. That might not be the best path narratively, but I think some more story reasons that touch on their relationship would’ve benefited her. Claire also shares a kind of pseudo-familial tie with the Burton's, as though it isn’t shown much, in previous games there were notes that implied that Barry welcomed the Redfield siblings to be a part of his family and looked out for them where he could. This game is a very personally interconnected one, and to have the protagonists see the antagonist struggling with something that is so viscerally relatable to them would’ve been cool. It would’ve been especially nice if some of the thematic aspects of Natalia being chosen as the vessel for Wesker to transfer her consciousness were given more weight, and that affects everyone in some manner. Secondly, the final evolution of Alex is just… bland. She’s infected herself with the T-Phobos virus in order to transfer her consciousness into Natalia, and to complete that transfer, she kills herself in front of Claire and Moira near the climax. But, despite trying her best to be fearless, she experienced a microsecond of fear right as she shot herself, triggering the virus and turning her kinda-corpse into a mutated mess. She’s ashamed of it, and covers herself with cloth to hide her face and such- but during the six months between campaigns, as she waits for her consciousness to wake up inside of Natalia, she starts to develop a complex out of a fear or concern over potentially having two Weskers. She starts to hunt Natalia and try to kill her, deeming herself the only one who can be allowed, but… well. Do you see what I mean about this feeling weak? I honestly think the fact that it’s six months contributes to this, as how the hell did a little girl manage to survive on a small, isolated island that was devastated even before Wesker started her bioweapon research on the locals?

It also feels strange that, in the climax, when Wesker’s tower is self destructing, Moira pushes Claire away and sacrifices herself, and Claire is somehow found and rescued, but Barry takes six months to get to the island, and Moira was surviving on the island for six months, and also didn’t seem to bump into Natalia during those six months. It’s just unfocused and stretched out, I could believe one month, but why not have Barry just drop everything and rush over to try get Moira if they know where they recovered Claire from? I think it might’ve been interesting to have Natalia be more of a threat, as parts of Wesker come to the surface. And I think that it might’ve been more narratively interesting for Wesker if her struggle with the transferal was due to Natalia rejecting her. This rejection could be a literal one on a biological sense- despite being the perfect candidate, her body won’t take Wesker, or she is mentally strong enough to push her down and cause complications. OR, just emotionally reject Wesker, as she is afraid of her. How ironically haunting would it be for Wesker if she rushed into this project when she got news of Albert dying, and the perfect candidate that is supposedly free of fear turns out to be afraid of you? I’m really just spit-balling and getting rambly and philosophical here, but there are ways that this could be better constructed into something that is more tragic and thought provoking. The point Wesker wanted was to not be afraid, and I wish that was explored more, as there’s so many different types of fear. Her being a pretty weak antagonist just compounded the feeling of Claire getting fucked over for me, as it could’ve been so much more, and Claire could’ve been written to be a much better suited narrative foil, or even just someone who pokes holes at the very ideology Wesker is working under- fighting her by planting doubt into her work. I dunno. This could’ve been a real interesting battle of wit between two women, with interesting narratives tied into the other girls of the protagonist cast- yet I can’t help but feel they weren’t written as strongly and had wasted potential, because Barry ended up the main focus in the writing room, as men are just easier to write, probably.

In closing, I really liked this game, but I’m cautious to say I loved it. I very much enjoyed my time with it, despite it being more action heavy than I would’ve liked, and some sloppy writing and game design here and there. I loved the mood and atmosphere for this game, I love how campy it gets at times, and I loved the moments where this game really shined. This retrospective has been so complicated to write (and not just because I accidentally left it so long before writing), but I can say that I got sucked in almost immediately when I went to replay the first chapter as a refresher, and that’s always a good sign. It’s a game I’ll definitely replay in future, just maybe not as often as other resi titles I like more.

Theme of Barry

Lost (Enchained Version)

Heat On Beat 2015

~~

Resident Evil 4 Remake, PS4

Wow. I was not expecting this, and overall, I think I’m pleasantly surprised by it.

I was a big fan of the og RE4- it was campy, a bit of a hot mess, and a really good time. This remake seems to generally respect and enhance that original feeling, while taking the game in it’s own direction. There’s plenty I don’t like about this remake, but plenty I do, so lets get into it.

The general trend for the remake series is definitely one that tones down the exaggerated and kinda goofy nature of the originals, and replaces it with a more Hollywood-esque style of gritty and ‘grounded’ realism. Speaking broadly, I can get behind that- however, with each remake added to the series, I get more and more concerned that ‘updating to modern standards’ is slowly morphing into a streamlined homogenisation that strips away most of the charm the original games had. Before I start the nitty-gritty of my dissection, I just want to get the inevitable out of the way: REMAKE FATIGUE. OH MY GOD. Sure, this remake has some brilliant parts that I’ll get into, and it looks great and whatever, but Jesus. It makes me feel extra cynical that every other thing that comes out is a remake these days! Are bigger studios incapable of taking risks and trying something new? Is it really so bad that higher ups are afraid of taking a chance on a new IP, that the creatives trying to work on these things are forced to rehash old things that did well that one time?? Do the fat cats up top even trust the creatives they’re using and abusing??? The original RE4 has a cult-like following, any attempt at remaking it is a HUGE responsibility, as the fans (myself included) are vocal and incredibly whiny. It doesn’t really need a remake, other than continuing the newly reworked canon CapCom is going for in the remake line, so… Huh???? Even outside of gaming, remake and franchise fatigue is hitting hard, and I’m tired. It’s not exactly inspiring or exciting to see remakes get announced anymore, especially when the trend of REmakes in particular are getting to games that are only like, a generation or two behind.

I needed to get that out of the way, as I was not really interested in RE4R the way everyone else was when it was announced, instead feeling more disdainful; reading press releases and fan talk with a cynical and apprehensive view. As should be obvious, I ended up caving and getting the game, and had a good time with it despite it all. But man... You feel me?

Anyway.

The plot of this game has been heavily renovated. Things are darker and more ‘realistic,’ favouring story beats that have an overall more cohesive narrative. The basics of the story are still largely the same, but with expansion and refinement in certain areas. The follow through of plot and motivation between chapters makes a lot more sense compared to the original, and certain beats were changed (and even omitted) to give greater and different impacts for each scene. For the most part, I really liked what they did- it gave a chance to better understand the characters we’re playing with, and it’s pretty hard to feel lost with how refined everything is... but it is at the expense of losing some of the more ‘iconic’ moments from the original, as they are ‘too goofy’ to be translated into this tonal shift. Leon S. Kennedy has gone through a lot of training to become the government agent we see him as today, and is tasked with rescuing the President’s daughter, Ashley Graham, after she was kidnapped from her college campus. After tracking her down to a remote village in rural Spain, Leon is tasked with bringing her back home, safe and sound. It’s a really simple plot, same as the original, but where it gets more depth is through finding out about the bioweapons and locations you battle against as you try to escape with Ashley. There are three main areas that the story takes place across; the village, the castle, and the island. And, just like with the narrative beats, the locations themselves have been renovated to be more streamlined and expanded in certain areas to make this game an enjoyable, modern rendition of it’s original counterpart. There are a lot of call-backs to the original too, the main example being the shooting gallery- which is not only a fun mini game to play, but has an expanded remix of the iconic drive song. I’m not great at shooting mini games- especially not on PS4 -but damn, the shooting gallery was so much fun. Having the remix of drive and ramping it up made it an absolute blast! (Pun intended). There’s a lot to love about the way so much has been enhanced by getting more attention, and I can say that I did genuinely enjoy a majority of the narrative changes.

Into the gameplay, which again, was generally pretty good! The item management is still here; you will find treasures and collectables alongside weapons, ammo, healing and currency as you explore and fight enemies, and can arrange them physically in your inventory screen. The modern Resi convention of quick-equipping weapons and sub-weapons to the d-pad is back, but expanded to have two options per direction, allowing you 8 possible slots to customise with weapons in whatever order you’d like. I appreciate this, and enjoy the seamless nature of the quick equip- though I do miss seeing Leon to the side modelling the item or equipment I have selected… When collecting treasures, sometimes you get pieces with empty recesses in them, and sometimes you’ll get gems of a certain shape that you can place in those recesses- of which combining items to be fully decked out with whatever colour combinations you choose will result in a much higher price when selling those bedazzled items to the merchant. The merchant himself has been fleshed out a little more too, his shop feels nice to browse through as you decide what you want to sell and upgrade, and he has more missions to give you around certain areas! In the original, the extent of these missions were pretty much just ‘shoot the medallions in this area,’ and you get a reward for doing so. Now, he has more that add a bit of variety- things like killing pests, bringing certain items to him, and circling back to specific areas when you’re nearly done with an area in order to fight a mini boss. It’s a nice optional thing to flesh out the time spent with each area, and expanding upon them in ways that are more involved than a simple scavenger hunt- though don’t worry, the medallions are still around and the merchant still wants you to shoot them! There was actually enough things to do that I didn’t quite get all of them in my first play though, which in turn meant that there were still things to do and places to poke around in upon replay. (Though, the merchant talks A LOT during the various screens while shopping… Idk if I’m just misremembering, but the og merchant never felt this annoying with the incessant chatter… hm...)

Moving around as Leon was… pretty good. It took me a while to get the hang of it, as he felt very weighty and had a much stronger follow-through in his momentum than what I was expecting. His sprint also felt faster than I remembered the og feeling, and perhaps that’s simply the difference between the tank controls of the original and the dual stick controls of this remake. This quick pace suits the action side of this action-survival-horror, and honestly, once you play for a few minutes, the speed felt normal anyway. I just think it surprised me a lot to feel how weighty AND fast Leon felt in my first impressions, which is why I wanted to mention it. Leon also feels skilled; he felt fluid moving between various guns, using the knife, and fighting with throwable items and melee attacks. More attention has been placed on the fact that he's spent 6 years in special military training, and it’s certainly paid off. However, I can’t help but feel the various melee attacks feels a lot more limited here… Now, I’m more than willing to admit a rose-tinted bias here, but I remember getting almost giddy when I had the option to kick and supplex enemies with ease. There was an almost explosive feeling to it in the original, you could literally kick people’s heads off – and yeah, yeah, I get it. This remake is trying to be more grounded and less arcadey in this aspect, but despite the melee attacks having a good weight and follow through to them, it just didn’t feel as impressive to me. That’s totally a personal feeling and not really anything the game has done objectively wrong, but that is unfortunately one of the many little nitpicks of things the game has to contend with when trying to remake a game that has been placed on such a high pedestal by many.

While I’m nitpicking differences in the gameplay and mechanics, I want to talk about the QTEs. Quick Time Events were prompts in the original game that played during certain scenes (mainly cutscenes, but in some boss fights as well), and would prompt the player to do things such as hit a button combination in a short time limit, or mash buttons and wiggle the stick in rapid succession. They are divisive, to say the least, but if you read my retrospective on the og RE4, you’ll remember that I said I kinda liked them! I’ve heard that some people don’t like them due to the panic of being quickly prompted and only having a second or two to respond, and hitting the wrong thing results in an insta-death half the time- and yeah, that’s definitely annoying. But, I don’t know… In the same way that the tank controls of RE1 made me feel more connected with my characters by getting flustered and struggling to move in a way that I could link to the feelings of fight or flight responses for the characters I’m playing as, I quite enjoyed the ways QTEs were used in RE4. Leon’s feeling just as flustered when there’s suddenly a boulder, or giant mechanised statue of the antagonist, chasing him down some narrow corridor as I am suddenly having to mash a button to get him out of there. I particularly enjoyed the cutscene QTEs for the Krauser knife fight in the og, requiring you to get the right combo of buttons within a split second to successfully parry and continue the fight. They’re fun! It’s not like I love all QTE by default, as I did not enjoy their usage in RE5 & RE6 half as much- but when implemented smartly like the og… I just appreciated it. The QTEs for this remake have been dramatically reduced, and for a lot of people, that’s a plus. I really loved the accessibility options for the QTEs here, giving the option between mashing buttons or a press and hold. Some of our hands/reflexes aren’t what they used to be, and sometimes the option for something less physically demanding is nice. However… It does feel a bit lesser without the QTEs, if I’m honest. It’s not even that every single QTE in the original was good, but there was a frantic-ness about it that I miss. I felt this the most with the Krauser knife fight I mentioned earlier, which has been turned into a more traditional mini boss instead of a QTE cutscene.

Which brings me to the biggest issue I have with the renovation of mechanics here.

The Knife.

In the original, the knife was a permanent sub-weapon you could rely on in the game. Run our of ammo? Get up close and personal to slash with your knife. Need to open boxes? Knife attack! And fighting Krauser? Well. Let’s just say, you’ll wanna use your knife. It felt special, and to me was a defining characteristic of how I played and thought about gun and weapon usage. In this remake? There is a knife degradation system. I understand from a game mechanic view that having degradation might encourage players to get creative with other weapons instead of relying on the knife, or treat the knife as something more special because it comes with a limit- but I felt the opposite. I HATE WEAPON DEGRADATION SYSTEMS. SOOOOOO MUCH. I didn’t feel like the knife was special, because you’d find knives everywhere to make up for the fact that they can only be used so much. Once you use them all up, they break and you can’t use them again, except for Leon’s special knife, which can be repaired for a cost at the merchant’s. This is supposed to be the trusty knife! It doesn’t feel trusty or even special anymore! Resi on the whole is KNOWN for it’s knife only runs, as knives are ALWAYS present in some capacity. I didn’t like the way knives broke in RE2R either, but it didn’t feel as offensive to me, as they were only sub-weapons, and mostly used for defence. IN THAT CONTEXT, I can begrudgingly agree with the philosophy of knife degradation, because that game was much more focused on surviving the horror with limited inventory. Here… it’s an action game. Depriving Leon of his knife just feels cruel. I want to be free to attack boxes and barrels while I’m looking for items, to kill snakes and rats indiscriminately alongside hoards of ganados when I’ve run out of ammo, or when I simply want to use my knife. In this remake, I can still do all of that, but there’s a greater cost to contend with due to the degradation. I can’t even enjoy some simple knife fishing, as I’ve gotta keep it in the back of my mind that every slash could be my last. I pretty much never wanna see weapon degradation in games, and will only begrudgingly take it under very specific circumstances. It feels like it detracts from the game far more than any ‘innovative thinking’ or game balancing it may provide, and it’s simply a frustration I hate having to put up with. Have the guns run out of ammo! Have limited inventory space that makes me hum and haw over which items are important to me and which I’ll need to use up and get rid of! But do NOT make my knife so brittle that it’s useless after a few hits!!

‘But the realism-’ I hear you say. Yeah, sure. A kitchen knife, heck even some survival knives, are probably not going to stand more than a few hits when used in combat - but when there’s an option to parry a chainsaw with the knife… I think some liberties can be taken. Although the game postures itself as something more mature and realistic compared to its original goofy and contrived nature- it’s still filled with silly shit! It’s a video game! It’s ok to lean into it; the original did with the arcadey feeling that ran through it all. Why is this new direction so hesitant to allow certain things, while being equally goofy in other areas? I know that the knife thing gets better when you get a grasp of the parry system and learn the most effective ways to make use of it, AND that there’s much better options for it when playing in NG+ and you have all the upgrades- but why do I have to wait for a replay to have it feel tolerable? That’s still a full first run through where it feels miserable! And just due to the fact that it is the way it is, I actually felt discouraged from engaging with the knife at all during battle, and felt more comfortable using it only for things outside of battle. L. Skill issue. Whatever. But I fucking HATE weapon degradation in general, so I’m sure you understand that even though I’m aware of the nuances and probable intentions the dev’s had when implementing this: I don’t care, I don’t like it, and I don’t think it achieved what they set out to do with it.

Onto graphics, the game looks fine. Maybe a little flat in the colour grading at times, but that’s something I’d expected due to the original having a muted sepia look. I don’t really know how to articulate this the exact way that I want to, but I’m just not the kind of guy who’s overly impressed with 'realistic graphics' in games. I’m fine if things look a little janky- and in all honesty, I think that jank or intentional style choices add charm and a unique look to certain games. RE4R is using the same engine that a lot of previous games in the series have been using- it seems to be a great one for what they want to do with the look of it all, but I can’t help but feel that it looks a little too familiar at times. I think this is partially due to assets being reused, having played a lot of games in this engine and starting to see how it works and where the seams are, and remake fatigue. I could complain about it looking like RE2R and RE8, but I feel so half-hearted about that complaint. It’s the same engine, and a remake of a game I remember decently- of course it’ll look familiar. I’m fine to chalk that up to primarily my own tastes and fatigue that I’ve outlined, but overall, the game looks fine. Great if you’re into this mostly realistic style, I just don’t think I care enough to care. What I do care about, however, are the presentation for certain things that really pissed me off.

Firstly- STOP WITH 'CUTSCENE' MOMENTS THAT TAKE A HOLD OF THE CAMERA AND SWING ME IN RANDOM PLACES!!! FUCK OFF!! IF YOU WANT CONTROL OF IT HAVE A CUTSCENE, GAMEPLAY IS FOR ME!!?!!? And repeat all the shit you read previously for the Rev2 stuff I had the same complaint for.

Secondly- YELLOW MARKERS. This has been memed to death by now, and Resi isn’t the only game/series to go overboard with the yellow markers. But, whoever is walking around with open cans of bright yellow paint, reigning terror across this remote Spanish village - stop it! Who knows where they’ll go next! Joking aside, I want to go on a tangent and dissect this and give thoughts real quick. SOMETIMES, yes, the paint markers are helpful in showing me where I need to go, or what I need to do when I’m feeling lost. Yellow is such a naturally bright colour that it’s easy to draw the eye to, making it a psychologically/colour theory-ily understandable choice to make sure players see the hints you leave for them. A lot of the time, I believe the devs make these markers so obvious because they were common tricky points for their focus groups- which are often comprised of people with varying gamer skills, and I’d say that devs will try to pay attention to the less experienced gamer’s feedback to iron out any wrinkles and make the game more approachable. It all makes sense and I understand it, especially after having the opportunity to study this kind of thing a little bit and venturing into indie game dev myself. There’s so much to think about and consider that often will go unnoticed by the players, which can feel frustrating when you’re berated for choices you made intentionally with their favour in mind. HOWEVER, this yellow paint shit is getting out of hand. It often feels jarring and non-diagetic, bringing more attention to it than intended and breaking the immersion for the player. It can also feel very patronising to have the methods and solutions to puzzles pointed out so obviously to you, for both experienced and less experienced gamers. Things don’t need to be THAT obvious, and I’m not sure that slapping yellow paint over everything is the fix-all solution it’s being treated as. It might take more work, but maybe if so many players are struggling with certain sections, you need to discuss with your team whether this is an intentionally hard area that you want players to struggle through, or if there are better ways to create the problem you want players to solve. There’s not going to be ONE solution that pleases all players, but I feel as though many gamers with mid to high level experience in games are going to become too frustrated when they see the yellow paint and no longer want to be a part of the core audience anymore. It’s a tricky balance to make games inviting enough to appeal to new-comers or ‘the broader audience,’ without alienating ‘the target audience,’ - but too often with modern games, I can’t help but feel they’re spreading themselves too thin to catch every audience instead of focusing on their target. Look at ways that are less obvious than yellow paint, see what kind of diagetic methods to give hints would work, and really spend the time setting up ways to teach the players how you want them to play and approach the problems you throw at them.

What’s uniquely frustrating about the yellow paint in Resi is that, in RE8, they ALMOST had something really interesting in context with the yellow paint, but didn’t do anything with it. They knew the yellow paint in that game was garishly out of place, and called attention to it, but just didn’t deliver in the way I was expecting based on the way they set it up. To then go to a game where there’s no reason for the yellow paint to be everywhere, YET IT STILL IS, is frustrating. The one counter to this, which I alluded to earlier, is that these yellow paint signals ARE helpful to those that need them. Great, but that is only good as a stepping stone, and if people ever move up to a higher skill level in gaming where they don’t need it anymore, what then? I understand that from an accessibility standpoint, making sure that players who aren’t very good or don’t feel confident in playing but still want to play have an option. I support that, but to mix that into the DNA of the visual presentation of the game just sucks for every other player who wants an option to not have it. It’d take more work, but why can’t yellow paint-ifiying the landscape be exclusive to easy mode? That’s the area to have it, and by not not having it in normal and hard difficulties, it’s effectively training wheels for those that want it in easy. With this, there’s also some comment I want to make on the way older games did this. I’m more inclined to say that older games did a better job of communicating things visually, and in many ways the hardware limitations present helped devs to think carefully about the way they wanted to present things. Heck, even in RE2R, there wasn’t yellow paint slapped haphazardly around the place- I distinctly remember the use of lighting and contrast in certain areas to point out which way to go. This tangent is not just a critique exclusive to RE4R, but to all yellow paint games out there. I don’t like the overly researched and pathologised method of communicating things to players, it just says very clearly to me that you don’t trust me to play and enjoy the game the way you wanted me to, and would rather drag me by the hand through everything instead of giving me time to enjoy the spaces within the game you’ve created. Maybe there’s also an aspect of insecurity to this, which I don’t doubt could be from having unrealistic pressures and crunches forced upon dev teams in the increasingly dystopian work environments- but please. At least add a bit of diversity to the way you want to overly direct my play experience, it’s become so cliché even the meme of yellow paint is worn out.

And lastly, something I feel is the most relevant to bitch about regarding graphics, is the lack of boss transformation animations. To set the scene, in the original RE4, pretty much all the multi-phase bosses had grotesque animations showing the pure body horror of being a bioweapon. It’s memorable, and helps keep you immersed in the moment as you see the familiar human looking parts morph further into the inhuman. It’s kind of a staple thing to expect in the Resi franchise- bioweapons are a form of body horror, and bioweapons are behind every game - it’s what we’re here for. Now, in RE4R, there was a noticeable lack of transformation animations. I’m sure you can imagine the disappointment when I’m fighting the village leader in some sort of barn or shed that’s on fire, and instead of having some transformation to gawk at, he disappears behind a wall of flames, and re-emerges a few seconds later in his next form. Every boss felt like this, and even if some bosses felt like clever call-backs to their originals, or added something to make the experience unique to this game, I felt incredibly disconnected from the fight as a whole. For a AAA remake title that has the legacy it does, whadda hell!? I can’t imagine the time and resources it must take to model and animate such things, as I’m a 2D artist myself, but it is incredibly disappointing to see this remake take shortcuts like so. To pair with this, what I mentioned earlier about QTEs being stripped away hold for battle the most, in my opinion. I don’t think I was ever able to enjoy or get good at using the parry/evade mechanics introduced for this game, as their prompts weren’t as clear or understandable to me compared to something like a well placed QTE. And yet another thing to tack on at the end of this, is that I felt a surprising lack of unique death animations for Leon too… Again, maybe this is nostalgic misremembering, but I would have so much fun getting Leon killed and seeing a new unique animation depending on how he died. It was almost a little consolation; yeah you suck and you died, but look, isn’t it funny seeing Leon get his face dissolved to the bone, or decapitated, or dramatically falling-to-his-knees-at-the-realisation-that-Ashely-died to death?

I guess I could summarise this with something along the lines of: all the little details in the original, that might not seem like much on their own, all worked together to give the original the polish and charm that it had, and that there feels like a distinct lack of that here. Which is a shame, because there is genuinely a lot of details that ARE here that DO ADD to the experience- it just doesn’t feel like enough for me, unfortunately. Like, I really do appreciate that it kept some of the puzzle aspects across various parts of the game and even added more, and that there’s a semi-stealth thing going on that allows different options if you can approach enemies without alerting them. Considering the og was such a cultural influence on how modern OTS shooters were made from that point on, I found it really interesting to have stealth come back to remind us of it’s survival style origins. It just… also feels like it’s missing a lot, or only has call-backs to the original as a form of obligation.

In regards to music, I honestly didn’t feel like much stood out to me. I have a note written to myself to pay attention to the music, and after 3 playthroughs, the only song I knew I wanted to include at the end is drive. I didn’t really feel connected to or excited by any of the tracks, which is a shame because I really love a majority of the various OSTs this series has. Even the more ambient and atmospheric tracks can be quite memorable to me, but here… I just didn’t feel it. I really don’t know what it is, but to guess, maybe the soundtrack just felt a bit too generic for me? I wasn’t as keen on other remixes of tracks from the original, drive really was the stand out. Idk. It’s a shame, nothing felt really out of place as far as I can recall, but I can’t recall really enjoying much about it either. It just kinda lived in the background for me, which isn’t the worst, I suppose. The sound design was pretty good though, the weapons and various soundscapes sounded generally pretty good, and I like that they’ve used a different stock sound effect for breaking vases that sounds a lot less cartoonish.

And, well… That’s about all I can say in a vaguely non-spoiler-ish way without going into detail. I have a lot to say about particular details so. Here’s your fair warning.

I feel so complicated talking about the game from this point forward, though, I’m sure if you’re reading this far, you can kinda see why I feel a bit like a pendulum. The original never felt all that scary to me, but it had an atmosphere I liked and I was perfectly happy with that. Here, it’s also not really that scary, but in both it’s easy to feel overwhelmed when you get a bunch of enemies to fight all at once. However, I noticed certain scripted set pieces with forced and cheap scares that just induced an eye roll for this remake. In particular, there’s a section with a giant at the castle and it just draaaaggggggeeeedddddd on and I didn’t care. Which is sad, because I really like the castle in both games, and otherwise I really loved the revamp of the castle here. In general, there was a strong sense of dread lingering in the atmosphere, which I think is enhanced by the devs trying to balance the action-biased nature of the game with a re-introduction of survival horror elements. And while I may not agree with every individual choice made when remaking and renovating the plot and layout, I think it’s generally a net positive - even making some areas that weren’t all that fun in the og feel tolerable, if not fun now!

The main thing I want to gush/rant about, is the plot and the way the characters were handled overall. I want to start with Ashley, as I liked her fine enough but thought she got dreadful amounts of unwarranted hate in the first game. There was literally only one section in the first game where I was legitimately frustrated with her, and that was partially a user error on my part making it worse. However, the devs absolutely know that this is a sore spot in the pop-culture knowledge of the game, and have taken steps to avoid the same kinds of criticism. Firstly, I wanna point out that the actress who played Ashley, Genevieve Buechner, was very nice to hear. I think she did a great job of keeping the balance between Ashley being a naive and scared young woman out of her depth, and a capable young woman who is trying to use her skills and smarts where applicable. One thing that I know a lot of people bitched about was the og Ashley having a grating voice. I personally only found the repetitive screaming grating when it went on for too long, but I definitely understand where it’s coming from, so it was a nice surprise to see deliberate direction for Ashley to combat this. While she’s a young, college-aged woman, her voice was a little deeper than I’d expected (most likely to combat the shrill allegations), and throughout the story she develops into being a little more confident and proactive. I think I can give the perfect example of what I want to praise with a certain change in a cutscene. In the original, when they’re in the castle, Ashley suddenly runs away from Leon, seemingly scared or disgusted at the fact that she coughed up blood, and is then promptly caught in some cartoonish trap, waiting for Leon to break her free. Now? Not only is there a greater emphasis on the plaga parasite that is infecting them both, but this emphasis gives Ashley a chance to actually feel something about it. In a cutscene that serves the same purpose as the one I just outlined, Ashley is suddenly taken over by the antagonist through the plaga (mind control style), and attacks Leon. When her mind is released, she’s on the other side of a locked gate, and she runs away, afraid and embarrassed that she lost control and hurt Leon, and doesn’t want that to happen again. Hooray! Character agency displayed!! We get a much clearer situation to display this, first of all, but also a much better way of letting the events breathe and show how the characters feel through their actions. This also means that when Leon and Ashley reunite, the conversation that they share feels more special. I’m so glad that there wasn’t as much of a stop and start with Ashley being with us one moment, and whisked away the next. Everything felt logical and understandable for why she was or wasn’t with us in each particular moment, and the reduced goofiness made it that much clearer what our goals were in any given chapter.

I also like how Ashley was able to help out with a certain mini boss in the castle, and that her playable sequence was expanded upon. It hasn’t been long since she was kidnapped and infected, and she must be scared out of her mind, but I could really see the development from being stuck in a fight or flight panic, to now being someone who was trying her best to work through any problems she was stuck in. Leon has clearly rubbed off on her, and I think it’s nice to see that although jaded, he was able to impart some of his collectedness under pressure onto her - seeing how quickly she’s able to step up and take an active part in getting out of there was really fun for me.

Leon was interesting here as well, we’re given a much clearer info-dump at the beginning that tells us what he’s been up to, and shows us a little bit about Krauser before meeting him in game. It’s clear that Leon has been through a lot, and doesn’t have that bright-eyed rookie style anymore- though, it hasn’t completely disappeared. However, he’s focused on his mission, and it’s nice to see the developments he goes through when interacting with other characters. I don’t really feel I have as much to say for him, in part because it’s Leon, and everyone loves Leon- but also because there were a lot of things that I felt were cut from him and not replaced or repurposed in other areas. Most of his character is good and consistent here, it’s interesting seeing him with Ashely, meeting Ada and Luis, and going up against the antagonists. And although the Antagonists generally feel more fleshed out, there’s almost no banter anymore! SADGE!!! I get that it doesn’t really translate into the new tone they’re going for, but everything with Salazar in the castle felt weak sauce. There wasn’t really any back and forth going on, and it is sorely missed! Without that banter, and instead playing things a bit more straight with flecks of sass peppered in, I don’t feel that there was that much for Leon narratively. And although I miss it, I think overall, I’m ok with Leon not having the most narrative growth for this game. To be clear, I hate that the banter is gone, but I’m ok that otherwise he’s got a much smaller, almost static feeling character to me (at least comparatively).

Luis was definitely expanded upon, and I feel as though he had the most attention amongst the main cast. He’s a fan favourite, and with that charisma, how could you disagree? Despite the fact that I think my preference will always be for the swagger the original Luis had, I really grew to love Luis here in this remake. We get to know more about how he generally presents himself, and more about what’s going on. It’s clear that he feels plagued with guilt over his contributions to everything that’s unraveled into a shit show here, and he makes a point of helping Ashley and Leon rid themselves of the plaga and escape, despite it clearly being out of the way for him. Due to the increased amount of time Leon shares with Luis, there’s infinitely more homo-erotic tensions between the two as well – I even got to take him on a date to the shooting gallery to show off my epic skills! Adding more scenes with Luis here means that he didn’t die in the place he originally did, meaning that even for players who know the original inside and out, we still had new things to look forward to and were kept on the edge of our seats as we waited for the inevitable. I really enjoyed it, and think that the effort put into expanding Luis was great to see, as it kept me engaged the entire time and eager to read more in the lore files scattered around the place.

With all the emphasis on the plaga, I’m glad that the narrative was cleaned up and tightened in the way it was, and actually made the fact that Ashley and Leon being infected was a more tangible threat with a time limit. In the original, they barely scratched the surface of being infected, and it was so easy to forget until you are reminded in a cutscene and go ‘oh yeah…’ - the stakes here felt bigger and more cinematic, which nails the new direction right on the head. However, the actual details of the lore actually felt a bit… messy. I appreciate more focus on the plaga and Lord Saddler as the primary antagonist, but there were some lore files that were particularly dense and hard to make sense of. Perhaps that’s just a me thing, but there were some choices that baffled me and some choices that just felt a bit like pandering. I felt this the most during the castle, and I was eventually able to wrap my head around the history of the place; but there were some details and lore drops that felt more confusing than they needed to be, and not in a fun solve-the-puzzle kind of way. There were also some choices that simply frustrated me about the new direction overall, wanting it to be grounded and realistic, but still required to lean into some gamey things by fault of it still being RE4. To give an example, early on in the castle there’s a note about a particular enemy, the Garrador, detailing what a weird and fucked up kinda guy he was to increase the lore and world building. Leon and Ashley bring direct attention to it via dialogue during that section too, they REALLY want to make sure you know how cool and creepy this mini boss will be. But then, later on, there’s a room where there’s two of them. No lore notes for why there’s two more of these fucked up guys here, they just are- and this room toes the line between miniboss and just a room full of tricky guys to kill cause you’ve leveled up by now and know how to kill a Garrador. It feels stupid to emphasise a single instance of an enemy that you’re going to come across multiple times, and then do nothing with every other instance. I think I’d prefer to just be left a trail of crumbs so vague that we just have to assume the enemy is some weird fucked up experiment that the audience has to figure out. It’s so ehhh when there’s one guy with a backstory, and his twins are NPCs with nothing. That was a pattern that I noticed, where some areas were expanded upon greatly, but not in a consistent manner, which made it feel really odd to me at times. It’s a real tricky thing, and to be honest, I’m not sure if there would be a way I can suggest that’d make me happy, let alone a broader audience… It’s just that, in trying to expand and humanise certain characters and places, but not being consistent and thorough, I think it just prompts eagle-eyed players to notice holes quicker. I don’t know, it’s just weird! Some stuff has been changed in order to modernise things that didn’t age well, but still gloss over crucial things that needed more clarity anyway!

I feel this weird hyper detail with no substance was particularly prominent with Krauser. We got a name drop in the intro, good. We have some confrontations with him in the game, nice. There’s a tent, with lots of info, clearly Krauser has been brushing up on his Leon lore and even has a little Leon polaroid from when he was taken in after Raccoon City… huh? Obsessed much? In the original, Krauser was pretty much just dumped there, with dialogue and cutscenes that implied he and Leon had a history, but none of the players playing on GameCube and the multiple other ports at the time had any clue who he was… until they played the Darkside Chronicles on the Wii, years later. It was weird, but he is important to some plot developments in the story. The impression I got was that Krauser wasn’t expecting Leon to be there at all, and that seeing him has put Krauser on edge a little bit, which causes some of the more intense confrontations he has with Leon. Part of why he’s important is that he’d been hired by Wesker, but Wesker no longer trusts him, so he’s sent Ada to make sure all loose ends are tied up. Krauser and Ada never really cross paths here like they did in the original, there’s no indication that they’re in cahoots at all. We get an overly dramatic final cutscene with Leon and Krauser where he wants Leon to kill him, cause he’s the only guy who can, but not much in the way of contextualising HOW he mattered to the plot, other than a few stray lore files right before you fight him. I wasn’t really happy, and I don’t even like Krauser! At least give him something, but he felt so glossed over and flanderised into some typical trigger happy gun boy boot licker American with a dumb gravelly voice to show that he’s hardened from battle, and overused the term ‘rookie’ as a form of endearment towards Leon. Krauser, and the antagonists in general, didn’t have much in the way of tangible plot and lore in the original, but it had the charisma. In this remake, yeah they’ve expanded upon things, but forgot about the charm and whatever other immaterial vibe that was supposed to be infused with it, there’s too much dumping and not enough raw charisma. There’s no bantering back and forth with Leon, and they all feel flanderised to me. They picked a point for each of the antagonists and just zoomed in on that; the head honcho in the village is big and stomps around, the little brat running the castle is just a little brat (and not even funny cause there’s not banter), Krauser is just a typical American soldier type, and Saddler is just an evil cult leader. Adding extra lore details doesn’t really do much for me when the concept of these characters aren’t all that engaging to begin with. It’s a shame that there wasn’t a better balance here, at least for my tastes, as the original head honcho and castle brat were fun and memorable for me, and I’d forget about Saddler until the end, and they didn’t have that much lore to them. They do here, but it feels like a big fat nothing burger at times, cause I’m not sure what they really wanted to do with these antagonists at all! It may be a case of having too many, and not being able to put the same care and attention into all of them, but they’ve even cut a boss fight with a bioweapon from the main campaign! And of all the things I feel they cut and butchered, Ada irks me the most. Get ready, and grab the whole salt shaker, as I have a LOT to say here...

Ada’s physical involvement in the plot felt severely lacking, as there were a lot of things that were cut and not repurposed in other areas. She is supposed to have an interesting dynamic between Krauser as another hire from Wesker, between Luis as her contact to get a sample of the plaga, and Leon when she finds out he’s on the mission and could use him to make her job easier. The stuff between her and Krauser was cut, and the stuff between her and Luis in the originals were mainly detailed in her optional campaigns, Seperate Ways and Assignment Ada. Here, there are some moments where we see her interact with Luis, as there was more emphasis placed on making his story and arc feel more complete, but there’s still not a lot. And with Leon… they cut SO MUCH! I had this sinking feeling of ‘they’re gonna come out with her campaign as DLC and charge for it, aren’t they,’ and I was right. There’s even a name drop in the dialogue near the end that she and Leon are gonna go their ‘seperate ways.’ By cutting some things, it takes away a lot of opportunities for her and Leon to convene and discuss things, regarding their situation and regarding them. There was one scene in the original where Leon is overcome with the plaga, and when Ada tries to help him, he starts to choke her out, causing her to stab him in order to break free. This scene was such a memorable and important one for me, as it’s one of the only instances we got to see of Leon being affected by the plaga in the original. It’s also just a really good scene that just shows the way they act around each other; it was almost casual, they both clearly trust each other enough to let their guards down, and Ada lets hers down enough to show genuine concern when Leon starts to convulse, not expecting him to start choking her. She plays it off all suave when Leon apologises, but reiterates that he needs to get rid of that parasite cause she wants him to escape, but Leon is still laser focused on saving Ashley that he’ll lower himself in his priorities- there’s depth to that scene, goddamnit! And there is NO EQUIVALENT present in the remake. I have a feeling that they didn’t write this scene in out of fear around how politically correct it’d be to have a man choke out a woman, or something to that nature. Which is a shame, as I’m obviously not condoning that kind of assault- but it’s not a sexist hate crime here, it’s the antagonistic threat being demonstrated narratively. I understand the ballistics comment from Luis in the og getting cut, and that his flirtatious nature was toned down a tad to make it more palatable and less sleazy- that’s a fine adjustment to make since times have changed. But Leon choking out Ada… even with the quick context I’ve just given, you can see that it’s not a bad scene to have in the game, right? SO MANY of Ada’s scenes have been trimmed and cut entirely, and while some of these changes are due to the streamlining of the plot, but it’s such a shame that there’s not as much of her here! Especially when there was very clear attention put into Luis and Ashley, Ada feels severely lacking.

And speaking of lacking, I want to talk about Ada’s actress, Lily Gao. This is clearly a very sensitive topic, and I’ll explain the various aspects in a sec, but firstly the main thing lacking is a general respect from ‘fans’ towards Gao. I haven’t kept up with it, but the last I heard, she deactivated most of her social media due to the onslaught of hate she was receiving towards this role. I find that disgusting, frankly, and although I have criticisms towards her performance in this role, NO ONE should be harassed off the internet for simply doing their job. There are ways to voice your upset, but c'mon. Are we all becoming so juvenile and brain rotted that we think it’s ok to air grievances at someone who hasn’t asked for it, and continue to direct it at them even when they’ve expressed their disappointment and asked you to stop?

To give some personal context, I don’t normally keep up with reading announcements and leaks preceding a game about to come out, but I got a little sucked into reading about RE4R. I couldn’t help nervously looking through news about the game as it came out, as I was worried it’d be like RE3R and ruin the experience- but when I found out it was being developed by the team who made RE2R and RE8, I was happy to leave it at that, and decide whether I’ll buy it or not once it came out. However, one of the last bits of news I saw before I stopped being a hypocrite, was the news that Jolene Anderson would not be reprising her role as Ada Wong. Anderson played Ada in RE2R, also providing the motion capture for Ada in the second animated movie, Damnation, but did not voice her. She’s a talented actress; bringing a certain chemistry with Leon, and a sexy confidence that just brought Ada to life in the best possible way. She worked really well with the grounded style the remakes are going for, and it was sad to see her go. Now, a voice actor being let go is nothing new, and the amount of voice actors each character in the Resi series go through is nothing to sneeze at- that alone is not what felt off about this. Anderson found out at the same time as fans that she wouldn’t be reprising her role, mentioning online that she wasn’t given a chance to reprise her role, or a dismissal noting that they weren’t going forward with her. I understand that the industry doesn’t really have the time or established etiquette to keep up with relations like that, but damn. That feels a little harsh, especially considering that I think most people, myself included, assumed that with Nick Apostolides reprising his role as Leon, that Anderson would be back as Ada too. But, she was replaced by Gao, who had recently played Ada in the after credits scene of the most recent live action movie, Welcome to Raccoon City. I had no preconceptions to really bring, as one cameo in an after credits isn’t much to base off of, and I was ready to see what she brought to the table. I don’t want to just bash her and dismiss her talents, but she had big shoes to fill coming off Anderson’s performance (along with every other actor that’s contributed to voicing Ada), and the whole remake of RE4 thing. Unfortunately, she wasn’t able to fill those shoes, to my tastes. Scenes with her felt stiff, and the chemistry and depth to her performance just wasn’t all there. I don’t think it’s purely her performance, as I think the script and direction she was given didn’t really help her much either. Gao doesn’t seem to be as experienced an actor compared to Anderson, and didn’t bring that sense of Ada having control of the situation that feels important to her character. The lack of scenes like the one I described earlier certainly don’t help, as there’s not really enough chances for her to shine and show off what she can bring to the character.

I hope you have the salt shaker ready, cause here’s where I want to be very careful and nuanced about this… Ada, the character, is American Chinese. Anderson is a full American gal, and I’m pretty sure every voice actor that’s portrayed Ada previously was too- or at least, none of them are Chinese. Gao is Chinese Canadian, and I am absolutely in favour of casting POC in POC roles, especially here where Ada hasn’t even had the chance to be portrayed by a Chinese voice actress. (Theres even the famous trivia of the actress who played Ada in the Jovovitch movies being dubbed over because her voice wasn’t ‘enough’ for the filmmakers…) I really want to support this, but I feel conflicted, and bad about that conflicted feeling. I just think that if this was something that genuinely concerned CapCom, they would’ve cast a Chinese actress for RE2R, and not swap her out while they’re presumably going over scenario changes in the game and only just realising there are some aspects of the original that don’t fly in today’s landscape. It feels tokenistic in a sense, something for them to point at and say, ‘Hey, Look! We replaced the white lady with a Chinese Lady who looks like the Ada!’ Despite Ada being Chinese, there’s nothing overtly Chinese about the way she talks or behaves, she’s very American. The Red Dress she’s wearing in the original RE4 was clearly a romanticised, or perhaps fetishised, take on a style evocative of Chinese culture- and was very clearly impractical and foolish for the mission she was on. That’s about the only explicitly ‘Chinese’ thing that comes to mind for Ada, and that is more a product of designing her for sex appeal than any cultural representation. Her new outfit of a red sweater and otherwise black tactical, but stylish, gear is still a really nice outfit- and I prefer that change as it makes sense for her to be wearing it… Clearly there are changes made to be less insensitive, but the act of recasting and the resulting hate that Gao has received because of it also feels insensitive to me. Both actresses clearly have an idea of who Ada is to them, but for me- where Anderson brought a subtlety and nuance to the more subdued character direction, Gao came across as flat and uninterested. Again, I want to reiterate that despite not enjoying her performance, I think this is the result of a bunch of decisions up the chain, and not exclusively a failing on Gao herself. The scenarios she’s given, the direction she had to act under, even the casting directors are also responsible for this performance, but I haven’t seen them chased offline. I feel for Gao, as she’s been put in a role for a game on such a high expectation, that for some rose higher when they found out she’s replaced Anderson. But I want to ask, is dismissing an actress who was well received worth the risk of bringing in a newer, ethnically appropriate actor - one who isn’t quite up to the level of performance expected of her? I don’t have an answer for this, and as a white Aussie guy, I don’t think I should. Especially because, since playing the game, the Separate Ways DLC has been released, and I haven’t bought it yet- so I haven’t had a chance to view the full performance and see the other scenarios given to her. Overall, I just think she lacked the depth that made Ada Ada, and I am upset at the response others have had towards feeling the same thing.

And for a last bit of bitching (that needed that Ada context), I wanna talk about Wesker. I love him as a villain because I think he’s goofy. He’s a fun antagonist with an interesting backstory, but he’s also supposed to be quite serious and smart. Part of the appeal of having the Wesker cameo and seeing that he’s the one who hired Ada is that they are both clever and cunning - but in the same way that I don’t think Ada was written well, Wesker appearing at the end was ATROCIOUS. In general, I didn’t feel that Ada was her usual cunning, mysterious and suave self - and the after credits scene was the final nail in the coffin for me. In the after credits, Ada is has retrieved a specimen of the plaga used in the game, and is supposed to hand it over to Wesker. While she’s in her helicopter, she’s talking to Wesker on the headset, and she asks what he plans on using the plaga for. Wesker start spilling his guts, giving away exactly what he plans on doing with the specimen, and Ada just… Takes off her headset (which wasn’t given an explicit hanging-up, so I’m pretty sure Wesker is just on the other side and still able to hear everything lol) and she orders the helicopter pilot to change course. Like… DUDE!?? THAT’S SO DUMBBB WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGG!!!?? BOTH OF YOU!??!?!?!??! For contrast, in the original, Ada had seen first hand how dangerous the plaga could be, and pinched both a dominant and passive plaga specimen. When she contacted Wesker, neither of them gave anything away, but Ada decided to switch and give Wesker the passive specimen last minute. This still allows her plausible deniability, as she fulfilled her side of the contract, but made a choice of her own while still being able to keep working as a mercenary undercover. Heck, you even see in her campaign that she was explicitly told to kill Leon, and would take every opportunity not to.That’s a deliberate part of her character growth over the series - she is very conscious of what’s going on around her, and although she does what she’s hired to do, she also grows increasingly more comfortable with acting upon her own code of ethics. To just… dumb her and Wesker down to whatever the fuck that after credits scene was is so fucking stupid and I can’t stand it! Way to assassinate both characters in one fell swoop! It would've been better to just not include the after credits scene if it was going to be this shit- it’s the exact kind of pandering that I hate. OoooOOhh look it’s Wesker, he’s sitting there and on his monitor you can see Excella and TriCell as a reFERence to a possible RE5R!!!!11!!!1! SHUT UP!!!!!! I don’t want this shitty fan service and pandering forced in, it feels the exact same as when RE8 tried to retroactively make Miranda a HUGE deal to umbrella, despite her not being interesting or solid enough to warrant having her be that impactful to the company. The whole thing with the original RE4 was that they killed off umbrella off-screen. They died cause their stocks plummeted. The devs wanted to move away from Umbrella as the antagonist, that’s why the game is like that (even though I think killing off Umbrella and being unable to stick with that and dragging it’s corpse around in some form or other, is what made the games go off the rails towards the end…)

And actually, I lied, there’s one more thing I wanna bitch about since we’re at the credits scene. HUNNIGAN WAS DONE DIRTY TOO. She doesn’t get much time to shine in general, it’s just the way the story is- but as Leon and Ashley are riding their jetski off into the sunset, you get to hear Hunnigan whining annoyingly at the end. It’s presented as like, her side of the one sided call as she’s trying to get back in contact with Leon, but, hello!? She’s a trained government handler, I doubt she’d be carrying on like a pork chop and risking anyone hearing that!? What if Leon picked up and heard that? The hell?? Was that really necessary??? Ending the game like that left a REALLY sour taste in my mouth...

ANYWAY…

I clearly feel complicated about this game, as there’s a lot I genuinely liked, and a lot that irked me. I love the way the overall story was tightened up and expanded, but I don’t like the way some of the details were handled. The gameplay was good, not perfectly for me, but I learnt more about the mechanics and had a good time playing overall. There’s nuance to be had, and I already waffled on about it… so, yeah. Hope your salt shaker is empty. The one no-nuance take I can close on, is why the hell are Leon’s alternate outfits so sexless? They’re not really cool, there’s not enough cunt in them, they just look kinda ugly and boring. Do better, this is the pretty boy of the series we’re dressing up here!

Drive

Baile de la muerte

A Familiar Place

~~

To close - Wow. That's it, that's all the mainline games so far. The only remaining games I have left on my shelf are the two wii shooters, which I will attempt one day... I'd like to dig around and try some of the more weird and niche spin-offs in the coming years, and properly try out the original PS1 trilogy. I'm also interested in talking more about peripheral media for resident evil, like the live action and animated movies, and the novel series as well. Who knows what I'll get up to, but you'll certainly hear from me again. I love this series, despite any frustrations I have with it, and always look forward to writing about them like this.

[monstress]

                        Favorite 2022 Korean Album Releases

khamat — hunjiya

this album is sonically so so beautiful! the r&b-pop hybrid is trendy (which can be a strength and a weakness) but this album has amazing build up that i cannot ignore. the narrative of zillennial’s blustery self-assuredness with the tracks all in capital letters - ending with last month’s rent in lowercase as the dawning realization of adulthood and growing out of friends and your childhood home. yeah...i’ll drink to that. the best engineered album of the year.

neap paradise — shin hae gyeong

one of my faveeee rock releases of the year. the arrangement of this album is so pleasing as you delve longer and longer in its psychedelic soundscape. it’s also a little reminiscent of korean indie sounds in the early 2010s which mayhaps colored my bias to this album. in addition, there are sooo many individual hooks across this album: when the guitar solo ripssss in Vandalism? the toy laugh at the end of Kaleidoscope? the descending chords in My Chronos? *chefs kiss*

piece of space — kaiavant

this album is soooo sexy...like how can you make marimba in the opening track sound alluring? she did it though! speaking about a shattered, unstable relationship, this alt-r&b is splendidly built and shows so much potential for kaiavant. the track woo hoo (feat. kid milli) is a star. if you’re a fan of bibi’s sound, do check her out!

evergray — jiwoo

his previous album ‘esprit’ got him on my to watch list and he delivered this year!! moody, introspective, and downbeat, this album is wonderful for those searching for a slow night and jiwoo’s voice perfectly emulates the toxicity of lust, love, and breakups. like a dark curtain of rain, it ensconced you in the melodrama if you let it.

nameless things — xeuda

decided to check this album since it was co-produced by cacophony and it didn’t disappoint! if you decide to listen to this album in one sitting, it’s so artful at how it slowly unravels from being defensive in sharing to you the true nature of its artist (her anxiety) and slowly opens up to a crescendo of a frenzy and ends like a grey cast in the aftermath of a storm.

life goes on — orange flavored cigarettes

might be a ~vibey entry to the list but the funk production flares (the underwater effect in kontrast, the reverb in that’s all i want) makes it distinct against its similar bands. this was in constant rotation for the summer for the slow summer nights with its ambient vocals. highly rec check out their other 2022 singles, especially noah.

a.k.a YAYA — yaya kim

this is an insaneeeee album from start to finish. with 33 tracks (yes that’s right!!!!), this album is indulgent, effusive, and operatic in its splendor. it’s magnificent, dark, and seductive which completely matches yaya kim’s husky voice. a concept album for a noir film that doesn’t exist, if you will. from the opening track, it asks you to let down your apprehension and enjoy the velvet-textured, wonderfully performed ride to its completion.

damage — kim doeon

i do love me some experimental albums and this album introduced me to the delightful name of the genre ‘folktronica’. while it’s more ambient than what i prefer, i’ve had this album on replay to able to parse something new with each listen. it’s soooo funky, fresh, and pleasant and it’s production is very evocative of a charming indie pixel game. Green Screen is my fave track of the year.

ㅠㅠ — gonggonggoo009

when this album starts, it does not let up! it’s 40 mins long album and uses it  expeditiously and excellently. the tracks are delightfully groovy at times, addictive in a few, and GOES HARD that you will not fatigued by the end of the runtime. and i know the man has become persona non grata (for good, good reasons) but it will be remiss not to mention the influence of kanye’s my beautiful dark twisted fantasy in this album’s production (the tracks monster, walk and polar bear are pretty obvious - and no, it’s not just because of the autotune). however, as the album goes on it does evolve to take on more of kendrick’s work (concentration is the best track imo). fave khh album of the year, don’t miss out.

♡ ♡ ♡ 

honorable mentions: all of ive’s singles, conch’s hurry up!, kwon eun bi’s lethality, slom’s weather report, rocket punch’s flash, bibi’s lowlife princess: noir, youha’s love you more, newjeans’ hype boy, baek yerin’s pisces, lucid fall’s voice beside guitar, dpr ian’s moodswings in to order

[jealousveronya]

Pairing: Feysand

Summary:

“I’ll heal your arm in exchange”, he almost whispered, “for you”. The last word left his lips like a purr.

Feyre finally got the courage to move so she angled her face to get a better view of his. He did the same and soon they were staring into each other's eyes.

His eyes looked like night itself.

“In exchange for me? What do you mean?”

He smirked.

A Cauldron cursed smirk, Feyre thought.

“What do you think I mean, darling?” His hand rested on her knee.

“I want to enjoy you.” His hand started sliding upwards. “First, I want to taste you.” He slid his hand in between her legs, resting it on her inner thigh. Feyre was in too much shock to move and only found herself able to fluctuate her attention between his eyes, his lips, and his hand. “Then, after I taste you, I want to sink myself in you. Slowly.” He pushed her thigh to the side, spreading her legs. “So slowly, that you will forget everything else and think we were just two star-crossed lovers making love.” He grinned. “But then-” His fingers started trailing towards her center in a teasing manner. “I’d pick up my pace... "

(or in other words, how the bargain could have gone)

Chapter 1

Read on: AO3 or click keep reading

The feel of his hot breath against her ear was almost like a tickle and If Feyre didn’t know any better she’d say he was caressing her earlobe with a delicate feather, but that seemed too out of character for him, so breathing against her skin had to be it.

She was clutching her arms to her chest. Her bruised arm caused her unbearable pain and accompanied by the fever that was consuming her and the danger in shape of Rhysand that stood before her, Feyre truly started debating whether Amarantha’s second trial had already started and she just slept through the beginning.

He breathed against her sensitive skin again and shuddering, she let out a breath of her own in response. 

She didn’t dare move.

She just sat there, eyes fixed on something in front of her, something that did not exist because all she could see were the grey cobblestone walls of her cell.

Rhysand’s breathing was uneven and slow – purposefully so - it was his own way of torturing her. 

Just when she’d think he was going to stop and start speaking, just when she would think she could finally relax, he would release another warm breath.

He was playing some kind of game, only Feyre had trouble figuring out what kind of game it was. 

She didn’t know how long he has been inside her cell, how long he has been breathing down her neck. It seemed like he had been doing it for hours or days. He came in offering to heal her arm for something in return and she was still waiting to hear what was that he wanted.

What could she possibly give him?

He was a High Lord and she was a mortal.

Again, she felt his breath, this time he went lower, just beneath her ear.

She sighed again trying to brush away the feeling he caused at the pit of her stomach.

It didn’t help that she was already hot from the fever so every breath of his was amplified in its heat. His breaths might have been fire itself from the way her skin burned from the impact. 

And she was sweating, whether it was from how sick she was or from the situation that currently beheld her, she didn’t know (not that knowing would change anything). 

From the way he was positioned, Feyre didn’t have a good look at his face, only his muscular neck and each time he took another inhale he planned on torturing her with, the muscles in his neck would tense up.

She couldn’t take her eyes off it. The way his muscles moved was hypnotic. How did he manage to have such a strong neck? Are all High Lords so well built or are there neck exercises he does?

She wondered what he would say if she asked. 

He assaulted the skin where her neck and shoulder met with another one of his warm breaths and she shook.

He chuckled at that.

She could almost feel that chuckle against the sensitive spot he found.

“I’ll heal your arm in exchange”, he almost whispered, “for you”. The last word left his lips like a purr.

Feyre finally got the courage to move so she angled her face to get a better view of his. He did the same and soon they were staring into each other's eyes.

His eyes looked like night itself.

“In exchange for me? What do you mean?”

He smirked.

A Cauldron cursed smirk, Feyre thought.

“What do you think I mean, darling?” His hand rested on her knee.

“I want to enjoy you.” His hand started sliding upwards. “First, I want to taste you.” He slid his hand in between her legs, resting it on her inner thigh. Feyre was in too much shock to move and only found herself able to fluctuate her attention between his eyes, his lips, and his hand. “Then, after I taste you, I want to sink myself in you. Slowly.” He pushed her thigh to the side, spreading her legs. “So slowly, that you will forget everything else and think we were just two star-crossed lovers making love.” He grinned. “But then-” His fingers started trailing towards her center in a teasing manner. “I’d pick up my pace, go faster and faster, harder and harder, making sure each time I pushed myself in you I had gone deeper and deeper, deeper than anyone’s ever been in you, deeper than you thought your pussy could stretch.”

Feyre’s cheeks flushed and her mouth went dry.

“You-“

She tried responding but he pressed the thumb of his unoccupied hand to her lips, silencing her. 

“Shh, I am not done.” He smirked at her again while angling his head.

The curious hand that was trailing toward her center stopped and continued to rest on her inner thigh.

“You know what the best part will be? That you will beg me. You will beg me to go faster and harder and deeper. You will beg to reach your release and after you do, I’d give you a minute to rest, and then I’d start again and again and again until I was sure you were sated and all you knew was me and only me.”

“If you let me do that, I’ll heal your arm, " Rhysand added. 

He removed his thumb from her plump lips. “What do you say, darling?” He grinned at her.

“Fuck you,” Feyre harshly replied.

“That is what I am trying to get you to do, yes.”

She rolled her eyes at what she thought to be the lamest joke possible. 

A frown appeared on Rhysand's face and he looked somewhat disappointed and... sad, if such a thing was possible. 

"How about this then-" He gave her inner thigh a squeeze. "Let me touch you and If you don't respond to my touch, If you find yourself not wanting more of it, I'll heal your arm for free, but if you do respond, you'll think about my offer again and you will think carefully." Another purr left his lips.

Respond to his touch? Feyre's mind ran over his words over and over again as she looked at his hand which was too close to her core. 

The offer seemed okay, whatever okay meant now. Trading all her morals for a chance to live until the next trial which might kill her and make all of this bargaining and sacrificing pointless. That was what okay was now.

She tried to think, to find a way out, but the more she thought, the more her head hurt. The fever was consuming her and drowning her so she realized one thing, she had to act quickly and that was the best offer she could get right now. 

Feyre looked him in the eyes and nodded.

Rhys smiled. "Say it. Tell me to touch you."

"Touch me." Her breath got stuck on the way out as the words came out like a breathless whisper. 

His hand, which previously rested on her thigh, moved fast and in an instant, his fingers reached her center and started drawing teasing circles on it.

.

.

.

Oh. 

Fuck.

There was something electrifying about his touch. It was almost as though it called out to her as if it was her missing piece. His speed was just right, not too slow, but not too fast. It's like he knew what she wanted.

It was like his movements went in sync with the beat of her heart.

Or maybe he was controlling the beat of her heart.

Magic.

It had to be magic.

She couldn't feel like this without magic. It was impossible.

Fuck, she cursed again as she felt a harsher stroke against her core.

Sooner than she would have liked, Feyre bit her tongue trying to hold in a moan.

She could do this.

She had to do this.

He couldn't keep doing this forever.

Now and then he'd press his fingers harder, almost as if he wanted to see whether he could rip through the fabric of her pants.

She felt heat pool in her abdomen and every muscle of her lower body tighten.

She closed her eyes trying to ignore the sensation. She tried thinking about something else, but her thoughts were clouded as all of her being was focused on the feel of his fingers.

Please - she almost said aloud, not even sure what she would be begging for.

The speed of his hand against her center got faster and Feyre had to use all of her restraint not to moan.

Rhysand's gaze was focused on his fingers and she was glad she didn't have to look into his violet eyes as she battled the waves of pleasure he caused.

Was it all the fever's fault? Perhaps that's why her thinking was so wrong, maybe that's why she was reacting this way.

Still, she didn't feel bad, there was no other way out, this was the best she could do to avoid accepting his deal and not dying, and maybe she could still win this. She was good at covering up her moans (unless he looked at her, then he'd see her frustrated expression), but the danger of biting on her tongue and lips so hard they bled was becoming more and more real from how hard she was trying to stop her vocal cords from forming whimpers of pleasure.

Based on how much she knew her body, she knew that slickness was forming in between her legs, she just hoped her pants were thick enough to conceal it.

Please.

And then, she heard his chuckle fill the black silence surrounding them.

“Darling, you are completely soaked through your pants. If you reject my deal you will die and if you accept you will live and experience the pleasure of your lifetime. So why you are fighting against it?”

Feyre used her good hand to try to push the hand he was using to torture her core with as his offer came to a close with her as the loser. Surprisingly, he instantly removed his hand, only to leave it on the inside of her thigh, dangerously close again, but this time Feyre was all too aware of the pleasures it was possible of causing, so as she eyed it her pussy clenched around nothing in particular although she had a good idea of what it desired inside- what she desired inside. 

No.

Remember Tamlin! She mentally yelled at herself. 

“I. Love. Tamlin.” Feyre gritted through her teeth. “And I am not going to be your whore.”

The stars in his eyes died out.

“Love?” He snorted. “Do you think that was going through Tamlin’s head as he fucked you? Do you think he ever thought that he loved you?”

Rhysand darkly chuckled and let both of his hands rest on her parted knees.

“I will tell you, darling, what was going through his head.”

“Maybe If I fuck her, she’ll say she loves me and the curse will be broken. Maybe If I tell her that I love her, she’ll say it back and the curse will be broken.” He said in a mocking imitation of Tamlin’s voice.

“No.” Feyre shook her head. “That’s not it.”

“Tamlin loves me, I know he does.”

Rhysand hummed. “If that’s what you believe in, then how about this deal? I will tell him, in front of you, that we made a deal that I get to fuck you in exchange for healing your arm and if he moves or says anything, the deal is off, but if he doesn’t you are mine to do as I please. If he loves you, I bet he’ll react.”

“You can't get everything with a deal." Feyre shook her head." I don’t want Tamlin to hear something like that.”

Rhysand released a sigh, looking rather disappointed. “That’s a shame then, have a nice time dying.” He removed his hands from her knees and started disappearing.

“Wait!” I don’t want to die.

He appeared again, in full color, or rather in full black.

“You promise that Tamlin is not enchanted not to speak or move?”

The High Lord of the Night Court put a hand on his heart and slightly bowed. “I swear on my entire court.”

Feyre had to believe in Tamlin.

She had to believe in their love.

He will move.

“Deal.”

Rhysand grabbed her broken arm and dark magic surrounded them until all Feyre could see was black. But only a second later the magic vanished like it had never been there, and all she could see was her arm

tattooed.

It was covered in black swirls, all leading up to an eye in the center of her palm. And not only that, but she was clean from head to toe and her fever was gone. 

Feyre examined her hand, turning it around.

“What did you do to me?”

“It’s a tradition in my court to showcase bargains made on someone’s skin.” He chuckled. “Wait till you see the other one.”

“The other one?” Feyre asked in confusion.

“Yes, it’s right-“ He moved his index finger in the air between them, swirling it around playfully before pressing it against her lower abdomen. “Here.” He said while smiling like a cat.

“Let me show you.” He said while pushing her back on the bed.

“Rhys-“

Feyre lost all of her words as she saw the hungry look on his face. The stars in his eyes were dimmed and he was smirking with his lips parted, letting her get a glance at his perfectly white teeth. He looked like an animal ready to devour his prey. Her gaze lowered on instinct, inspecting his strong neck, his black jacket, immaculate as always, and then she saw it - the strain of his pants.

He was hard.

“You should be proud. You made the strongest High Lord in the history of Prythian crazy with lust. You. A little mortal woman.” It was like he read her mind.

“If you don’t like that I am a mortal, you can leave.”

He chuckled. “No, I actually find it quite cute.”

He was sitting in between her parted legs as she was lying down. His arms were on each side of her thighs, caging her.

“Now, about the other tattoo. Will you let me show you?”

Feyre nodded as he eyed her down and she forgot how her respiratory system functioned.

He snapped his fingers and Feyre felt the cold breeze of the cell cover her body – naked. She was naked.

Feyre was about to protest but his warm finger pressed against the same spot he pressed earlier, just a few inches above her sex that was now completely exposed to him.

“See”

Feyre prompted herself up on her elbows to get a better look at whatever he was pointing to.

And there it was, the other tattoo. 

An arrow whose endings ended in swirls, an arrow which pointed towards her sex was now tattooed on her body.

“So you know where this is going to end.”

Another Cauldron cursed smirk appeared on his face.

He lowered his gaze to her most intimate part and Feyre’s cheeks flushed.

He started sliding his finger down the arrow, almost reaching her clit, but Feyre quickly reacted and grabbed his hand, stopping it from going any lower. 

“This was not the deal.”

“Hm?” He raised his head to look her in the eyes. “I just want to reward you, darling. You did so well today, defeating that wyrm all by yourself. You deserve a reward, a release.”

He leaned into her and breathed onto her lips. “Don’t you think so too?”

She did want a release. She wanted to just enjoy and forget about everything else. And for whatever reason, some wicked part of her wanted him to continue what he started before. She wanted to feel him inside.

But Tamlin- She was here fighting for him. She couldn’t do this.

“Tamlin doesn’t have to know about this.”

Rhysand whispered, his words the truest form of temptation.

“You won’t tell him?”

He removed the hand from her abdomen and put it over his heart, in the same manner as before. “I promise.”

“This will be just between you and me. I bet on you, you know, and I got a lot of money, let me repay you for it. Allow me to make you feel so good  you forget the mess surrounding us right now.” His hand returned to the inside of her thigh and started trailing toward her center, waiting for one last sign of approval.

She needed to forget so she nodded. Shyly. 

Just this once, she thought

“Use your words, darling.”

“Yes.” Feyre breathlessly whispered.

“Yes what?”

“Yes, High Lord.”

He bared his teeth at her.

“Good girl.” A dangerous purr.

And he plunged his finger into her.

“Ah!” Feyre yelped.

He curled the finger in her and Feyre moaned again.

He took out the finger he had in her, her slickness visible on it, 

Her pussy clenched around nothing and Feyre thought that if he didn’t get his hand back in between her legs, she’d have to use her own.

Suddenly they weren’t in her cell, but somewhere else. The bed was warmer and softer. It had black sheets she realized. Actually, the whole room was covered in variations of black.

She knew he was the High Lord of the Night Court, but must everything be so black? 

“My room,” Rhysand answered and plunged not one, not two, but three fingers into her.

“AH!”

Her eyes rolled at the back of her head from the wave of pleasure that washed over her.

Rhysand instantly took out his three fingers, only to plunge them back in and then out and in and out and in and out until Feyre was nothing but a moaning mess.

Her release was building up fast.

“This is just a promise of what’s to come tomorrow Feyre, tomorrow when I announce to Tamlin and to everyone else in this cursed court that I am going to enjoy your sweetness every time I want to.”

“You’ll get tired of it.” She said in between her moans as she came undone on his fingers.

He laughed.

Loudly.

So loud his laughter echoed in the dark room.

“Is that what you are hoping for? That I grow tired of you? Trust me, darling, the only one who will be tired is you after you lose count of how many times I made you come.”

He pressed his index finger, the one covered in her slickness against her lips.

“Would you like a taste?”

Feyre nodded and opened her lips.

He slid his finger inside her mouth as her tongue made quick work of it, licking it clean.

“Good girl.” He said as he took his finger out. “Say thank you.”

“Thank you, High Lord,” Feyre said.

“My good girl.” He purred as he brought the other two wet fingers to his face and started licking them clean.

“Would you like me to finger you again, darling?”

“Yes, High Lord.”

“How about you practice begging for tomorrow?”

Feyre wanted to roll her eyes at what he asked.

“Oh, please, the big and powerful High Lord of the Night Court, fuck my pussy again with your fingers. Please make me come again.” She said in an irritated voice, obviously mocking him.

“We will work on that.” Rhys smiled before plunging his three fingers back inside her and Feyre didn’t know whether she’d complain if Tamlin didn’t react tomorrow at all.

[martianbugsbunny]

Who Makes You See Color (A CaptainCroc Soulmates AU Fic): Chapter 6

Hello, friendly friends! Time for another update on Killian and Rumple’s adventures in soulmate land! We’re still in Killian’s head for this one, so Killian fans may rest easy. Tags: @wastingstarsss Read on and enjoy!

Killian leaned against the rail of the Jolly Roger. He ran his hand over the yellow paint—still as beautiful as the first time he’d seen it, and only a little bit worn. He repainted it when he could, just like he repaired the rest of his ship. It was holding up remarkably well, for something that was a century old.

It was near midnight. Almost time.

“I hope I haven’t kept you waiting, dearie.” The voice of Rumplestiltskin came from beside him, where Killian turned to see him just—there, as though he had been all along.

“Not at all, mate,” Killian replied. He leaned his head on his arms, staring out at the dark water.

Rumple seemed to be waiting for him to speak again. “Is there something you want, crocodile?” he asked. The malice had long since seeped out of that word, replaced by something Killian himself wasn’t quite sure how to identify. (If he didn’t know better, he might even label it...fondness.)

“Maybe.” Rumple hoisted himself up onto the railing and sat with one leg crossed over the other. Killian still couldn’t read him half the time, but he felt a stab of elation as he realized he knew Rumple was afraid.

“Go ahead, love,” Killian said, the word slipping out before he could think about it.

“I found it,” Rumple said quietly. A small, sad smile crept over his face. “A way to get to—”

“Bae.” Rumple seemed surprised. Killian was rarely able to surprise him. He liked it. “He was the only other person you ever loved.”

Who was the other? Killian wondered. Why didn’t he just say ‘the only person’?

“It’s going to be a long path,” Rumple said. “Almost two hundred years more. And I have a torturously slow game to play. We won’t be able to see each other as often, I don’t think. I have to focus on getting back to Bae.”

Killian laid a hand on Rumple’s knee. “I understand. I’ve spent almost as much time trying to find this as you have, remember?” True, he spent much of his time on his own exploits, but that time itself had been given to him by the deal he made to help Rumple find his son.

Rumple stared right at him. For once, he seemed to have his entire mind on Killian’s presence—except Killian knew there would always be some part of him that was thinking about Bae. “If you want me to release you from our deal, and make you mortal again, I will,” Rumple said.

In the beginning, Killian had spent a lot of nights awake in his cabin, wondering if there was a force of magic that would be willing to help the soulmate of the Dark One. He had considered begging a fairy to take away the immortality Rumple had given him. It was a daunting idea, eternal life, and while he loved his life he also didn’t believe it would improve at all. Eternal stagnation was never what he had imagined for himself, even if he become something of a legend, the name of Captain Jones striking fear into the hearts of all who heard it.

But the reason he was immortal in the first place was what kept him from trying to change it. As he laid awake, he could feel two pulses in his chest. If he closed his eyes and concentrated, he could’ve sworn he could feel Rumple himself, lying in a different bed who-knew-how-many miles away.

He reached over and placed his hand on Rumple’s chest. There was that same dual pulse, beating in time with his. “I believe I’ll stick with you, crocodile,” he said softly. “Go find your boy. I’ll just—have some extra time to plunder and pillage.”

Rumple smiled. His face was still peculiar, to Killian; humans weren’t supposed to look like that. But he felt different when looking at Rumple; he had grown accustomed to their late-night meetings. He associated Rumple with night, with stars shining in the darkness, with the salty wind coming off the sea, with the smell of the wooden deck. All very wonderful things to a pirate.

“It’s a curse,” Rumple offered. His voice was tight, as though he was fighting every instinct he had just to say those three words. Opening up was, Killian had learned, difficult for both of them. “You’ll probably be brought to the land without magic when it’s cast. Everyone in this world will.”

“I care little for magic,” Killian said. “It will be no great loss for me. I can be a pirate there, the same as I am here. Perhaps I shall be an even more fearsome pirate, without magical items to stop me.” He put on his most winning smile, and he saw with satisfaction a little relaxation in Rumple’s shoulders.

“Goodbye, Killian,” Rumple said. There was an unusual honesty about him as he took Killian by the shoulders. “I’ll miss these little chats. You are terribly…entertaining.”

He leaned forward and kissed Killian’s forehead—then vanished.

Killian exhaled heavily. Rumple wasn’t as cold as he’d originally believed; in fact, he suspected what Rumple spent so much effort to conceal, was a deeply-wounded, deeply loving, heart.

A man with no heart, Killian could work pretty well with. Trust was out of the question, but Killian was vindictive of his own right and he never cared to surround himself with people who were soft. In his line of work, it was a heavy liability.

(It wasn’t quite right to call Rumple soft, either; the man shared Killian’s affinity for playing with the lives of others, and for the beauty of shed blood. And he had, indeed, been hardened by life. But his core was tender, if rough.)

Killian had to face up to it. Rumple wasn’t just a man he was working with. That was his soulmate, and in theory they had been made for each other. And Rumple wasn’t one of his pirates, either, which meant that a small slip of his heart couldn’t get Killian imprisoned or executed. Maybe there was room for Killian to start thinking of him in a more romantic sense.

He found himself suddenly very annoyed. Why could he not have figured that out before Rumple had to vanish for two hundred years?

[kimaswork]

1.2k words

This was just a little drabble I did because I was bored and work was slow lol.

warnings- angst and some violence ig

Chest heaving, you place your dagger into its sheath and turn away. Your enemy, now behind you, falls to the ground with bloodied armor. His sword was never a match for your agility and speed. You held yourself with pride as you walked out of the ring, seeing people look at you in fear. Internally you grimaced, the fear in their eyes and the way they cowered in your presence made you wonder how it got to this point in the first place. Was it just because of your battle from moments prior? No- this had been going on since you were but a child.

Playing in the town square you had a stick in your hand as you balanced upon the edge of the fountains wall. “I’ll win this time for sure!” exclaimed your small friend Virsi. She lunged at you with a stick in hand, play-fighting with you. You swung your stick to deflect hers as you gracefully stepped back on the brick wall. “Good luck Virsi, I’m still undefeated!” you stated in reply with a prideful yet cheeky grin. The two of you continued to play, going back and forth with playful banter as you swung your ‘swords’ at each other. You were fully immersed with the miniature fight, so you hadn’t heard the small crew of boys come up behind you. Suddenly you felt hands on the back of your shirt. They had pulled you away from your game and threw your stick to the ground. Clearly displeased with this you glared at the boy before you, who you’d previously assumed was their ‘leader’. You knew the crew well, unfortunately, and they had picked on you many times before. Rolling your eyes, you snapped “What do you want this time, Aymer?” “What? Can’t I come see the pretty princess?” You practically growled at the nickname, “I am no princess, if anything that’s you with how fragile your ego is!” you cleverly shot back with a smirk. The look of pure shock on Aymers face was something you wished you could capture and look at for days. Shaking his head to rid himself of the initial shock he glared back down to you, “I don’t have a fragile ego!” he exclaimed, ragefully. As he was distracted in his miniature tantrum you wretched your hands out of the grip of the other small boys and dove for your stick and held it up to them in a challenge. Aymer only tsked at you, “What? Do you plan to poke me with that or what?” he asked mockingly. Tilting your nose up at him you swiftly replied, “I challenge you to a duel, if I win you have to back off.” “And if I win?” he asked as he held out his hand while one of his goons handed him a stick. “That’s not gunna happen.” You quipped as you lunged towards him with a fast first attack. You knew he wasn’t much of a fighter but just because you were so nice you let the small duel drag on for the sake of his pride before you grew tired. You had let him back you against the wall of the fountain, making it look as if you were cornered, but this was really what you wanted. “Nowhere to run now Princess~” he teased. That was when you snapped your stick in half and threw the longer half at him, making for a perfect distraction as you dashed to the side and snatched his arm. You heard a small gasp from the boys that were watching from the sidelines. Taking his arm you maneuvered it around his back and pinned it beside his shoulder blade before you kicked the back of his knee and made him kneel. “I told you I’d win.” you stated smugly before releasing him and starting to walk away with Virsi following behind you. Enraged, Aymer charged after you; however, you had heard him coming and had turned around at the last moment to grasp his wrist and flip him over your shoulder. With the splintered stick you still had in your hand you held it over his throat. “You lost- give it up and live with your shame.” you said as you stood back up and took Virsis hand and walked back home. That was how everything began.

Now, you made your way back to the knights grounds and went to your quarters. As soon as you entered your room and kicked off your boots you heard a knock at your door. Groaning, you turned around and opened it with a small snarl, “What?!” you snapped as soon as you saw the head knight. “I heard you won another battle, I came to congratulate you.” he stated. “Thanks, but I take no pride in this victory.” “You say that for most of your victories. If you take no pride then why do you engage?” he asked. You turned around and went to your bed, leaving the door open. The head knight followed your silent invite to come in and closed the door behind him before taking off his helmet. “Come on Yin, you know I love you but I need an answer.” he said as he looked at your back that was turned to him. You let out a heavy sigh, “Katar, do we have to talk about this now?” you asked as you turned to look up at the head knight and your lover. “Yes, you always get into fights and you always win, but you never take pride, why?” he asked. “Because-” was all you said before turning your back again, heading towards your bed. “Because why?!” he asked, now slightly aggravated by your answer, or more accurately the lack of. Whipping your head around you glared at him before answering, “Because I never wanted it to be like this!” Katar looked at you with a shocked expression, you rarely raised your voice nor did you frequently express how you really felt. “What… What do you mean?” he asked, looking for clarification. You plopped yourself down onto the bed as you dropped your head into your hands. “I didn’t ask for this,” you started, “I never wanted to be feared for my skill, I never meant to even have any skill. I was just scouted and trained. But all I wanted was to live a peaceful life and be… soft-” you finished with tears brimming your eyes. Katar made his way over to your side and sat beside you before wrapping his arm around your shoulders, “Then why didn’t you choose to be soft?” he asked. “I never had a chance to be soft. Growing up I was always bloody knuckles and shards of glass. I had to be like that to keep everyone away.” you answered. “Why couldn’t you let anyone near you?-” he tried to ask before you cut him off shouting, “Because everyone wanted to hurt me!!” You huffed out a stressed breath before giving your reason, “I learned that you can’t trust anyone and that everyone had some fear…” you got up and got your boots back on, no longer feeling fatigued. “And people avoid what they fear. So I wanted people to be afraid of hurting me.” you finished as you opened the door and left the room.

[hummingbird-games]

DEV DIARIES

March 1, 2023

If I rewrite this devlog one more time, I’ll never post it (this is like 2+ weeks late 💩)

Crushed news, basically what y’all are skimming this update for: THE DEMO IS OUT! 

Thank you to everyone who’s already rated and reviewed or just shared! (And please make sure to check out the other entries from the jam!)

Funny story, the plan was to have the full game out for said jam but I am so glad I came to my senses. (The energy reserves have been...depleted.)

Sometime between this post and the last devlog, I lost a lot of steam, so to even have a completed demo is an accomplishment in and of itself. I hope you guys like it and I hope you’ll stick around for the full version in a few months.

I know lots of writers tuck pieces of themselves into whatever they make, and I’m not special. But I feel a stark difference between HSD and Crushed.  Crushed is personal, and as I refine the script and look over the endings, I again hope that my game finds its target audience. It’s even more niche than my first game (set male Black playable character, male Black Love interest, the intentional use of AAVE, set in high school and not for the “adult gaze or consumption”). I’m already terrible at self-marketing, but how does one even advertise this type of story??? I don’t know. FIngers crossed I’ll have a game plan when the game is complete.

Anyhoo, you’re getting the first 7k-ish words, a cameo, a taste of the soundtrack (bless Louie Zong and Astronaut Troy LOL 🙏🏽) and the solved mystery of what the heck I meant by partial voice acting in the demo, so enjoy! 😂

Revisiting the HBG’s 2023 Timeline

I really wanted to participate in another game jam, (OjiJam + Blossom VN jams and the Amare Game festival are all tempting options!!!!!) but I’m also having war flashbacks to last year. I’ve got to slow up. I also considered volunteering to work on a group’s entry, but I’ll be extremely harsh on myself if I have to pull out, and I foresee me having to do so if I don’t chill out now. 

I’ll continue outlining and writing fun things, but anything outside of that is on the backburner while I focus my energy on Crushed. 

Community Shoutouts

I want to get back to doing this in my devlogs, so here we go!

Wraith of Purple Herring Games has a Kickstarter!!! I gushed about the game My Alien Roommate on this blog, but I think it’s best if you download and play the demo and then go support!

.owl of Jellyfish Parade is counting down to the release of Belle Automata!

Core Reviews is building up her brand and becoming an awesome resource for manga, anime, and gaming news!

And for my IF (Interactive Fiction) crowd, A Tale of Crowns got a chapter update!! (I lost my save file around chapter 6 and haven’t gotten around to replaying BUT it’s an amazing game and y’all should give it a chance if you haven’t already)

- Gemini 😁

Next time on Hummingbird Games Updates…

…Speaking of Crushed, ever wonder what the specific inspirations were for the project? Well wonder no more! You’ll soon find out.

…A return of Gem’s Game Gems?? Because just because you didn’t ask for recommendations doesn’t mean you won’t be getting them! (Will that blasted sideblog FINALLY be public???)