#I’m definitely not tagging correctly oops

[rhinestone-hearts]

Do you ever hear someone say something so fucking abysmal that it makes you contemplate if free speech should be legal or not?

Anyway have this old Ody fanart I made with my polites brush (the siren is from gigi’s suffering animatic)

[caffernnn]

you mentioned rei in the tags of that autistic characters post and i spent a full 5 minutes just Pondering him. didn't even have any coherent thoughts i just sat there rotating him in my mind. if you want to share i'd Love to hear your rei analysis bc i wholeheartedly agree that it's about the autism. rei haru and momo are three characters who i just. cannot even really conceive of Without thinking of them as autistic? they all present in very different ways but all 3 of them are i think so clearly autistic and they are very special to me

(okay I’m pretty sure this is from a month or two ago oops BUT) yeah yeah yeah!! Fr! is that “say thank you to the four bears of autism” post and I’m just sitting there like “thank you haru. thank you rei. thank you ikuya. thank you hiyori”

If I’m remembering the specific thought I was having about Rei correctly, I was thinking about how he latches onto the solid ideas of things. It’s not that he ignores complexities or downplays theories, not really, but he approaches a lot of things with the thought that there is some solid truth or correct (ideal) form to be discovered. It’s a learning curve for him to think beyond technique, beyond clinical research — he couldn’t “study” his way into swimming properly and got frustrated with there being more to the skill than physicality (things more abstract, things more variable). He wants a solid equation and a reliable answer; his mind searches relentlessly for patterns and he wants them to mean something, hold weight to them. It’s a type of black-and-white thinking that intrigues me, because even though he wants solid answers, he isn’t paralyzed at the thought of change like we see with haru other black-and-white thinkers. His insistence that there’s a solid truth and end-goal to be found in his pursuits builds a unique tenacity that lets him try again and again, continue improving, finding any way to use whatever information he’s tracked (patterns maintained, patterns broken, theories brought to life or devastatingly disproven) in a meaningful capacity.

It’s a natural thought pattern that I personally read into Rei’s character, and it makes his character evolution throughout the series even more interesting. Befriending the other Iwatobis for Rei is putting stock into the abstract, the emotional, ideals like “beauty” — it’s a show of trust and vulnerability on his part, because this realm of thinking is harder for him. Trying to see swimming and relay through the eyes of his team, conceptualizing connection and emotionality to it all, it’s not an immediate thing for him, but it’s something he learns to want. He wants to know how to look at a nebulous concept and not be overwhelmed by the variability of it, or get overwhelmed in a euphoric way, where he doesn’t need a solid definition or list of theories to appreciate and identify something that simply is. It’s a part of why he eventually gets along with Nagisa so well, I think — for all of the ways their thought patterns differ and collide, there’s an element of idealistic whimsy and perseverance to Nagisa that bolsters the part of Rei that’s also endlessly curious.

I have a lot of Rei feelings about this part of him, about how the Rei we get to see is almost in spite of his instincts. He’s purple (a blended secondary color), he’s a butterfly (creature known for its metamorphosis, beautiful because it allows itself to change), he goes from a sport pounding the earth and flying in the air alone to being completely submerged and trusting others to support his charge. He’s a character who epitomizes growth and change, and that’s so essential to the stories fr! tries to tell. I could go on about “main character rei” and “rei should’ve been more visibly present in haru’s evolution of confronting his fear of change.” Perhaps conversations for another time <3

[bloombubs]

Firstly, yes, you did tag it correctly! And second, please feel free to give me all of your thesis statements on Adrian Chase, if you wanna write a 10,000 word essay about that man best believe I will read it.

I also really love the idea of him having someone to come home to, to take care of and be taken care of by (and by God I love imagining I’m that person). I just want him to feel loved.

thank you for the ao3 help!!

adrian needs to be taken care of like the precious lil person he is and someone who accepts his....quirks for him.

As for thesis, of Adrian showing how he loves.......here we go:

Okay, small disclaimer before we delve into this: this is solely based on the perception I have in my head of Adrian Chase. This also isn’t listed in any particular order (just the order I copied and pasted it from lol). The more i wrote the more carried away I got oops. this isn't edited or revised but just pure nonsense spewing from the depths of my mind

Words of affirmation

In my mind, Adrian will constantly tell you that he loves you and that he misses you–especially when appropriate after the relationship develops. Without a doubt, he would compliment you on your looks, your new haircut, if he likes an outfit, if you smell good. He’s a chatty guy, he will say whatever comes straight to his mind. As for other things, I think you would tell him if you like hearing if he’s proud of you or deeper words of affirmations like “I value you”--he would say it, but he definitely says it in his own way. He definitely shows his appreciation better than words because in my head, I don’t see him being the best at articulating his feelings into words. But like, “you’re awesome!” or “dude (affectionately), you have no idea how cool you are for doing that.” Again, not as deep or romantic, but you know the intention of it. 

In bed? Different story. He loves praising you and….he loves being praised too. He will tell you how good you feel, how good you make him feel, complimenting anything his eyes land on, your skills, how in love he is with you. 

Quality time

Adrian is a sucker for quality time. Adrian in my mind is a bit clingy, but not in a negative way. I’m sure he gave you the proper space when you ask, but as mentioned in my other writings–Adrian wants to do everything with you from the most mundane activities to the most exciting. Doctor’s appointment? He’d be there holding your hand. Sitting on the couch with you and doing separate hobbies (Idk, I can see him cleaning his weapons and you’re doing a normal hobby, with the tv on in the background)? His favorite. Cooking dinner? He’s right beside you, or sitting down nearby to talk and ramble. Dancing in the living room together? He’s throwing it back. Singing horribly in his Vigilante mobile? You know it. 

Oh, don’t even get me started on his rambles. I’m not sure where this one falls in since it’s between physical touch and quality time, but I can vividly imagine this: two of you sitting on the couch, eating dinner, the tv playing in the background, your back is pressed against the arm of the couch and his is on the other, legs intertwined. Adrian is just talking, telling you random facts, stupid details about his day, going on about his missions that he promised he wouldn’t disclose with you (but does anyway), he talks about movies, the news—honestly, all everything and anything. 

Just seeing you in his line of sight is comforting enough for him. 

Coming back from patrols and missions truly makes his night when he comes home to see you, or knowing he’s hours closer to having you in his arms again.

He doesn’t want to miss a moment with you. 

Physical touch

This one definitely develops in the span of a relationship, all for different reasons. Emotionally, I think it takes a bit for him to understand what feels nice to be comforted and how you want to be comforted because each person is different. But also for him? He gives me touch deprived energy before you came into his life. 

He loves having you in his arms, making sure you feel safe and comfortable.

Basic things I’ve mentioned: massages, dancing, lotions on the leg, coming home and embracing you and lifting you off the ground with a twirl, peppering your face and neck with kisses, caressing your skin, needing to be touching you somehow, anyway. 

Brushing your hair, taking baths and showers with you, love bites, holding your hand while driving, back rubs to help you fall asleep, laying his head in your lap, his hand on your thigh when sitting together, totally fine with being either the small or big spoon. 

Obviously he can’t keep his hands off of you and you wouldn’t want them off of you. 

This man will make sure you’re satisfied before the night ends. He’ll keep going until you both can’t anymore.

Acts of service

Adrian shows his love with acts of service. I feel like this one tied with quality time, just in the sense that in the beginning of the relationship, these were the top two dominant ones. The basic act of service would be doing anything to protect you, right? It’s a given. Domestic wise? He would spoil you with simple things. I mentioned this before, but he definitely would love helping you apply lotion to your body, massages (physical touch, I know, but your body aches and he just wants you to be feeling your best self), if you cook, he cleans the dishes–or sometimes he cooks too. Holding doors open for you, developing photos you take together, killing the scary bugs, definitely pampering you wholesomely and in a risque manner—this man ALWAYS asks what he can do to make your day better. 

I can see him running a nice bath for you, pouring you a cheap glass of wine, heating up a towel for you when you get out, wrapping you up in one of his shirts or hoodies before pulling you into bed.

 Receiving gifts

This may not be the typical gift, but I can’t see him having a whole lot of money, but he sure is thoughtful. He’ll surprise you with your favorite snacks (this could be acts of service too imo), if you have a favorite show/band/book he will try to buy you something that reminds you of it, or even merch. He’ll fill your gas tank up without telling you because he wants to surprise you. He’ll definitely come home with dinner from Fennel Fields too. Oh!!! If they go on a mission a bit far, Adrian will pick up something random, but something that reminds him of you.

Do dick pics from days being apart count?

[kaeyas-beloved]

Reusing time!!!!!!!: Class 1a with classmate who's quirk is like scp 105. The pictures they take through a polaroid camera allow them to manipulate or grab objects through their photos, and the photographs can become a real-time image of a location.(you can look up scp 105 on scp foundation site for a better explanation of the powers)

SCP-105 Quirked Classmate

Class 1-A x GN!Reader || BnHA

Genre: General

Warning(s): Some late season one spoilers (they're kinda vague tho) // this is short-ish

a/n: Here ya go Anon! I hope you enjoy and thank you for requesting :)

-----------------------------

In the beginning there were definitely some questions on how someone like you got into the hero program. Of course, on the surface anyone would wonder how someone wielding nothing more than an old-fashioned camera defeated highly dangerous robots.

Many assumed your quirk was used as support for yourself, that you were actually just physically buff instead.

You were on the receiving end of Bakugou's insults the first week or two. At least until that one attack in season one that I can't remember the name of (oops)

Since then, after proving yourself one way or another, very few questioned your acceptance into UA. Not after witnessing your quirk first-hand

I feel like I mention this a lot but pranks are bound to be planned and executed. It’s just far too easy to mess with someone when a quirk like yours is in the mix. (Hey, given the personalities of some students you can't blame me for bringing this up either!)

…That is… unless you play by the rules… which is okay honestly! But also be careful too? Because... some might mistake you for the LoV if you do decide to pull any pranks...

During stealth training anyone with a brain begs any god willing to listen to make you part of their team. You’re literally able to just take a picture and be on the lookout without needing to go very far. It's highly likely you won't get caught either. A tremendous advantage if used correctly (and if I’m understanding the powers correctly)!

Realistically speaking, your quirk isn’t the strongest combat wise. And without the camera you’re basically quirkless. Therefore, Bakugou, though not as harsh as the beginning of the year (seeing as you did prove yourself), will still call you an extra :/

Unless you’re able to hold your own in hand-to-hand then maybe he won’t :)

Many - fellow classmates and teachers - believe you'll land yourself numerous opportunities with a Pro Hero that specialize in stealth because of your abilities. A few students will make the ‘don’t forget about me when you’re famous!’ jokes

From what I can remember no one really uses a whole other object for their quirk. For enhancing, sure, but none rely on something like you. So, of course, here’s the obligatory ‘Midoriya will ask questions’ statement.

Yaoyorozu actually may as well, but she’d lean towards questions regarding the polaroid camera and film. How it’s built/made and such - what sets these apart from other cameras and their film?

…So actually everyone will ask questions. Apparently the camera works normally for everyone else, just not you. And it has to be this very polaroid camera - no other camera works even though it’s no different from any other.

Therefore, while Class 1-A will 100% treat you just like they would to anyone else - as a classmate and friend - part of you will still remain an enigma to them. One that some may wish to uncover…

Oh well, just one more opportunity for an adventure and/or catastrophe to happen!

-----------------------------

Tag list: @tickotaku // @decora-peaches // @dorkylittleweirdo // @thylocalcrackhead

…

Want to be tagged? You can fill out this form! If you want to be removed, just send me a quick DM or ask!

[all-hail-the-witcher]

5 times geralt wrote jaskiers name wrong on his coffee cup plus 1 time he didnt need to: part 1

its @natskier‘s birthday and hhh nat fucking slaps and her birthday fic accidentally became a 5+1 and yeah. here's part 1. 

___

ship: geraskier, modern

warnings: lamberts a bitch, geralt has feelings, jaskiers a little shit

editing: yes

words: 1.1k

genre: slow burn adjacent cause the boys are hella fucking impatient oops

___

“Geralt! Get your bitch ass up here and work the register!”

Geralt didn't even bother opening the door of the breakroom. “Fuck your boyfriend when you’re not on the clock!”

The door to the breakroom swung open and a very disgruntled Lambert glared down at him, arms crossed over his chest. One of his bright red curls fell out of his bun and hit him in the eye. Geralt had to hold his hand in front of his mouth to stop himself from laughing.

“If you paid attention, you’d know that Aiden is out of town. I’m going to the bank to get change you fucking piss biscuit.” Lambert pointed at him angrily. “If you burn the place down it’s coming out of your damn paycheck.”

Geralt groaned as the door slammed shut behind Lambert, but he still got up and walked begrudgingly to the front. Getting fired by his father would have been nothing short of embarrassing.

He made sure that his apron was tied correctly as he walked up to the register. Eskel was making the drinks, which was the job that Geralt usually preferred because it involved less interaction with the customers. But Lambert really hadn’t given him much of an option.

The bell above the door chimed and Geralt put on his best customer service smile.

“Hi, welcome to Kaer for More Coffee, what can I get for you?”

“Just a black coffee. Large. Dark roast”

Geralt punched the order into the register without looking up. Then he grabbed a cup off of the stack, pulled the sharpie from behind his ear and scribbled the order on the side. The routine was so familiar he could probably do it in his sleep. Not that he would ever admit that though because then Lambert would definitely try to get him to do it.

“Name?” he asked, still not looking up.

Whatever the customer said got lost in the noise of the shop.

“Could you repeat that?” Geralt asked, looking up for the first time and holy fuck.

The man standing at his register was abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous. He had dark brown hair that was falling in his bright blue eyes and the little smile on his face that showed off his dimples made Geralt nearly melt. It took all of his willpower to not drop the cup in his hand and keep his eyes on the man’s face instead of the bit of chest hair peeking out from his scandalously unbuttoned, peach colored shirt. It was almost like he was tryingto make him swoon.

“Jasper.”

Or at least that was what Geralt thought that he said. Eskel chose that exact moment to knock over a sack of espresso beans.

Geralt clumsily scrawled his name on the cup. Seeing that Eskel was otherwise occupied and he didn't want to keep the attractive man waiting, Geralt went to grab him his coffee. It wasn't like there were any other customers waiting.

Geralt filled the cup, double and triple checking that he had the right roast before sliding the order across the counter.

“Jasper!” he called out.

The attractive man was standing on his phone, not making any move to come and get his coffee.

“Jasper!” Geralt called out again, hoping to get his attention.

Still nothing. The man was scrolling like his life depended on it and it honestly didn't help that he had the cutest look of concentration on his face: slightly furrowed brows and an adorable frown line creasing his forehead.

“Hey,” Geralt said. “Your coffee’s ready.”

This time the man looked up, slightly surprised to see Geralt holding out the cup.

“Is that mine?” He asked, gesturing to the cup.

Geralt nodded. “Large black dark roast.”

“But you didn't call out my name,” the man said, crossing his arms.

“Yes I did.” Geralt cocked his head in confusion. “Twice.”

The man took the cup from him skeptically, spun it until he could see the name that Geralt had written on it and laughed.

“Well darling,” he said. “I didn't respond because my name isn't Jasper.”

Geralt spluttered, momentarily distracted by the fact that such an attractive person had just called him darling. He tried desperately to ignore the swell of heat in his stomach. “But you said-”

“I didn't say Jasper.” The man took a sip of his coffee and tried and failed not to wince. Geralt didn't blame him. Black coffee was terrible. “I guess I’ll just have to come back tomorrow and remedy this issue, won’t I, uh,” the man squinted at his name tag, “Gerald.”

“That’s not-”

“Oh I know,” the man smiled, taking another large gulp of his disgusting coffee. This time he couldn't hide the wince at all. “I’ll get your name right when you get mine right.”

And then he had the audacity to turn and walk out of the shop. Without putting any milk or sugar in his coffee, Geralt couldn't help but note.

Geralt stared transfixed at the door that the man had just walked out of. What the hell had just happened?

Unluckily for him, he didn't have much time to ponder that because Lambert walked through the very same door not two seconds later.

“What happened, pretty boy?” Lambert asked, opening the drawer of the cash register and putting in the change that he had gotten. “Did that door tell you that your hair looks terrible straightened? Cause I’ve been telling you that for at least the last three years.”

Geralt opened his mouth to respond but Eskel beat him to it.

“A hot guy came in and ordered and Geralt wrote his name wrong on the cup.”

Geralt turned away from the door to hide his blush. The way that Eskel said it made it sound so much worse than it was. It had been an honest mistake! It wasn't his fault that Eskel had dropped the damn espresso beans right when he had said his name!

Lambert tisked disapprovingly. “Of course the one time you manage to find someone who actually likes that mop on your head, you don't even manage to learn his name. Now I can’t stalk him on Instagram! Geralt, you really need to be more considerate of these things.”

Geralt threw an empty cup at him.

“Fuck off, you know I’m right!” Lambert groaned. “And I could get you written up for harassment in the workplace! What if you injured me and I couldn't work anymore, huh?”

“Lamb, it was a paper cup,” Geralt sighed. “And considering our dad is our boss, he would have seen straight through your dramatics.”

Thankfully, any further retorts from Lambert were cut off by the bell above the door ringing.

“Hi, welcome to Kaer for More Coffee what can….”

Geralt used the distraction to slip back into the break room. He still had another 10 minutes left on his break and he fully intended to use them to mope over the fact that an attractive man had shown actual interest in him and he’d somehow managed to not get his name.

Lambert would never let him live this down.

___

hehehehe :)) dumbasses

tag list: (inbox me to be added)

@percy-jackson-is-sexy-

@barlowpng

@eminasan

@llamasdumpsterfire

@nonegenderleftpain

@geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde

@geekymagicalpotato

@jaskierswolf

@toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account

@toss-a-coin-to-your-lesbian

@littleredhotridinghood

@fontegagrilledcheese

@acemoppet

@lookatgeraltmyboi​

@gods-oopsie-woopsie​

@julek

@funkylittlebard

@dani-dandelino

@officerjennie

@kuripon

@alllthequeenshorses

@mothmanismyuncle

@dapandapod

[thiswasinevitableid]

Indruck 22 for the meet uglies?

Here you go! I went SFW on this one

you’re on a date with this awful, awful person who keeps getting under my skin because my friend and I have been eavesdropping all night and your date says something that makes me snap … I thought it was a first date, not a three year relationship

“...such a waste of money. I mean, why spend all that to get something tacky on your skin?”

Indrid rolls his eyes at Barclay from across the counter of the Amnesty Lodge coffee shop, the cooks arms and hands sporting a plethora of tattoos rivaled only by Indrid’s collection.

“I dunno, l like the one I got.” The other man--who seems to be on the worst first date of his life--shrugs.

“You honestly think you and Juno couldn’t have spent that money on something else in college?”

“I mean maybe but, uh, we were earnin our own cash, figured we got to decide what to spend it on.”

“Hmmmm” the first guy sips his coffee, “sounds like a typical excuse for someone who doesn’t want to admit a mistake.”

“C’mon, that ain’t fair-”

“Ugh, stop saying ain’t! I can’t take someone who talks like that to meet my family.” Before the target of his disdain can respond, he snaps his fingers, “hey, buddy, can I get a refill or what?”

“The station for black coffee refills is right there, sir.” Barclay indicates the very obvious corner of dispensers, his voice the kind of calm that Indrid knows means he’s memorizing this guys face to warn other staff about.

They earn a brief reprieve while The Asshole leaves the table. When he returns, he’s shaking his head.

“God, have you looked at the photos they’ve got up? Who the fuck wants to look at bones?”

Indrid quickly glances at his friend to be sure he’s permitted to start a fight. Barclay nods.

“Quite a lot of people.” Indrid spins on his stool. “I’ve sold a number of them just from the display here. So perhaps you could keep your rude, unclultured, close-minded, obnoxious mouth shut.”

The man balks, looks to his companion for help. He offers none, mouth trying to form words and only coming out with halves of ones (except for the “fucks” which are plentiful).

“Oh my fucking god, you agree with him! That’s it, I’m out.” The Asshole pushes back from the table and storms out. The remaining man leaps up, panicked.

“Fuck.”

“It’s okay man, shitty first dates happen to all of us.” Barclay offers from beside the bakery case.

“I mean yeah, they do, but that wasn’t one of ‘em. That was my boyfriend of three fuckin years.” He dashes out of the shop, sparing a final glare at Indrid as he does.

Indrid trades a sheepish look with his friend, “Oops.”

-------------------------------------------------

“I’m glad you finally get to meet Duck!” Aubrey grins over her shoulder as she and Indrid wind down the hall at the office Kepler magazine.

Founded by childhood friends, Kepler worked a combination of print and video content that saw its subscribers and revenue climb while other publications struggled to stay afloat. Aubrey was head of the video team, though she contributed content to the magazine in the form of interviews about environmental activists of color and sustainable gift guides.

Kepler has three sections: travel, science, and environmental writing. Indrid now has the honor of being one of their primary photographers. He started two weeks ago and is thoroughly enjoying his work and the company of the other staff. The only person he’s yet to meet is Duck Newton, one of the founders and main reporters, as he was off on an assignment.

Aubrey knocks, gets a friendly “come in” and ushers Indrid into the office.

Looking at him from behind the desk is The Asshole’s Boyfriend, whose face goes from open and friendly to confused, then to perturbed.

“You okay?”

“I, uh, fuck, n-ye.” Duck sighs, “remember how I told you Alex and I split after a shitty date in a coffee shop?” He points at Indrid, “this was the fella who, uh, expedited the process.”

“Ohhhh.” Aubrey frowns, then shrugs with a smile, “whelp, he’s our new photographer. We’ll see you around.” She hurries them outside once more, shutting the doors. As they head back the way they came, she whispers, “his ex was a huge fucking dick, so if word gets out everyone is gonna think you’re a fucking hero.”

“He didn’t seem to see it that way.”

“It was only a few weeks ago, so it’s still pretty fresh. He’ll heal from it okay, Duck’s a tough cookie. And I’m sure you guys’ll get along eventually.”

---------------------------------------

“Juno, please, you gotta come with me.”

“I would bud, except it’s April and I’s fifth wedding anniversary that weekend. And no, we already have plans, so we can’t just take over this assignment as part of the celebration.”

“Fuck” Duck leans back in his chair.

“...You really asked everyone?”

“Ye-no, fuck-”

“Duck.”

“I ain’t asked Indrid yet.”

“There it is.” Juno smirks, “you gotta ask; besides, we were gonna have him do illustrations for the feature, but photos would be even better. And we both know it ain’t his fault y’all broke up.”

Duck nods, promises to ask Indrid after lunch. He finds the photographer flipping through his files from his shoot for next issues cover. His silver hair is pulled back, red glasses sitting on the desk beside him so he can gauge color correctly.

Duck kind of wants to pull the silver locks just to see what happens. It’s not his fault Indrid looks like his Sophomore roommate who he had a raging crush on, only with more tattoos and a much more captivating face. Pity he helped fuck up Duck’s last chance at a stable relationship.

“Hey, Indrid, you got a minute?”

The photographer cocks his head.

“I, uh, so we got a feature on this whole chunk of places touting themselves as ‘sustainable romantic getaways. I booked a bunch of places, but a lot of ‘em will turn me away if I turn up solo. And the person I was supposed to go with ain’t an option any more. Neither is anyone else. You get my drift?”

Indrid pinches the bridge of his nose, “you realize this is a terrible idea, yes?”

“Hey, we been workin together just fine. Ain’t we? Wait, fuck, I ain’t been treatin you bad even when I’m tryin to be professional, am I?”

“No, you’ve been perfectly polite. But there’s a world of difference between being cordial in an office and going on what’s functionally a vacation together.”

Duck crosses his arms, “I ain’t about to lose eight hundred bucks in deposits.”

Indrid blinks, then chuckles, “Fair. What day do we leave?”

-------------------------------------------------

The temperature rises and the air dries as they speed south on Five. Indrid fiddles with games on his phone as cover for the list of “will this be a disaster or not” he’s mentally constructing. So far the signs are positive; Duck isn’t very chatty, but neither is Indrid. They have similar tastes in music, which makes much more sense when Duck explains he was a burn-out in high school. He also isn’t agitated by Indrid stimming, which makes it easier for the photographer to relax and enjoy the drive.

But they haven’t spoken about the elephant in the car, and Indrid resolves not to be the first to do so. No point in poking the sore spot if he doesn’t have to.

They stop at a Sinclair for gas. Duck reaches into his glovebox for something as Indrid climbs out, comes away with a photo instead. It’s one of those ones from a photobooth, faded but unmistakably him and his ex. His face falls for a second and Indrid scurries into the Dairy Queen attached to the convenience store.

As he waits in line, he turns one fact over in his mind like a picture he’s trying to make sense of; it would be easier to let their awkward first meeting go if he did not genuinely like the other man. He’s charming, in a quiet way, and very friendly. He’s built like the guys Indrid always got useless crushes on in college, usually third tier frat boys or--if he was lucky--a bear a few years older than him who liked his men on the odd side.

He doesn’t like seeing Duck sad. The sadness isn’t something he can fix. The stalemate between these two facts annoy the living hell out of him.

He’s next in line, glances up to confirm what he wants, and gets an idea. Last week, he overheard Duck talking with Aubrey about roadtrip snacks of their youth.

“One chocolate dipped cone, on me.” He holds the treat out to the other man.

“Oh. Uh, thanks. These are my favorite from when I was a kid.” Duck’s smile returns.

“I remembered. Or, ah, that is, I remembered you saying that.”

The smile changes, “you didn’t need to.”

“I wanted to. Shall we?”

“Yep. Uh, you gonna be able to drive and eat that at the same time?”

“Do not doubt my ability to consume ice cream under difficult circumstances, Duck Newton.”

They make it to their first stop unscathed. It’s what Duck refers to as, “eco-bespoke,” a fancy spa and hotel built in a former school, the kind that was made in an era of beautiful instead of grim educational architecture.

“Goats!” Indrid claps his hands, delighted, at the two animals stabled near the main building. One of it’s supposed sustainable elements is the small farm that helps feed the on-site restaurant. Duck smirks and Indrid suddenly feels the gulf in their upbringings, “Ah, I suppose they’re not exciting to someone who grew up in a rural town.”

“Nah, but they’re damn cute.” Duck checks the tag on their room keys, “okay, we’re in the green building, room 2B.”

Indrid snaps some photos as they cross the grounds, more to remind himself of things he wants to come back to later than anything else. He’s busy studying a strange mark on the wall by their door when Duck says, “I can sleep on the floor.”

“Why--oh” he stares at the single bed, “in retrospect, we should have seen this coming.”

“Yeah.” Duck drops his bag near the closet, slides the door to look for spare linens. Indrid summons his courage, finds it lacking, and so bolsters it with nonchalance.

“It’s a king, we could easily share.”

“You’d, uh, you’d be okay with that?”

“It is only narrow definitions of masculinity that mean something like sharing a bed is inherently sexual.”

He’s not entirely sure that made sense, but Duck nods, “You want the right side or left?”

“Right, please.”

“Great. And, uh, Indrid? Thanks for rollin with all this. I, uh, I know it’s fuckin weird but this is a huge feature for the magazine and we woulda been fucked if we had to pull it.”

Indrid gingerly sits on his side of the bed, “You’re welcome. And I don;t know about you, but” he smiles, catches Duck watching him intently in the mirror, “I’m enjoying myself so far.”

------------------------------------------------------

“Why has an activity that renders one incapable of using their thighs been deemed ‘romantic?” Indrid mumbles, face-down on the bed to offer his burning legs relief.

“Fuck if I know.” Duck groans as he sits next to him, “Kinda fun, but if I was doin this to get you in bed, I’d be fucked.”

“I am in bed” Indrid teases.

“And if I tried to put the moves of you you’d toss me outta it. Assumin I could even move myself that close.” Duck nudges him, then clears his throat, “uh, I mean, not like we’d be doin that-”

“Nono, point taken.” Indrid rolls over. The horseback ride was one of the “couples exclusives;” a trot out to a beautiful oasis for a gourmet picnic. Indrid got some excellent shots, including one of Duck with honeycomb dripping down his chin, which he will not be offering up to editors but may keep for himself. For it’s beautiful composition, of course.

Mercifully, their next stop is the pool. Indrid settles himself in the hot tub while Duck types some notes on his phone. Then his friend doffs his bathrobe and Indrid may as well be in a dream. In the steaming, echoing paradise of multi-colored tile and ecstatic shouts, Duck stands like one of the angelic fountains at its heart has come to life.

“You okay there, ‘Drid?”

“Yes.” He hopes his lack of glasses means Duck will mistake his blatant staring for trying to get his vision in focus.

“Then scoot your cu--uh, your butt over so I can sit down.”

Indrid gladly moves aside, finds he’s so comfortable with Duck pressed against him that he begins nodding off in the warm lull of the water. When the other man nudges him, saying it’s time to go, he finds a strong arm draped over his shoulder and Duck’s smile the most relaxed it’s been all trip.

Their last task at this location is to locate the speakeasy somewhere on the premises and order the “lovers delight” (only available to couples). To do so, they follow clues purple light bulbs, doors that lead to tiny, art-filled rooms, secret staircases, and a false supply closet to a dark wooded, dimly lit, incredibly pleasant bar looking out over the property. The drink turns out to be a massive goblet (more a bowl that someone stuck on a stem) of ginger syrup, prickly pear juice, and silver tequila.

It also turns out to be incredibly strong. So much so that when they get back to the room, Indrid loses his balance getting his shoes off, which makes Duck laugh, which results in both of them flopping onto the bed.

“S’fun. You’re, you’re real good at the clues. Should, should go to an escape room when we get home.”

“Wasn’t, hic, that hard. They, they want, hic, want you to find it.”

“Take the compliment, goofus” Duck pushes his shoulder.

“You’re, hic, the goofus.”

“Nuh uh.” Duck sticks his tongue out. Indrid does the same, then licks his cheek just to hear him laugh.

Duck rolls onto his back, giggles dying down to a contemplative sigh, “He woulda hated this.”

“Your ex?” Indrid crawls to stay close to him.

“Yeah. Everythin I like, or, or thought was fun, he thought it was a waste of time or just plain worthless. He, he wasn’t like that at the start. Dunno what changed. Probably me. Probably got borin. Got worse.”

Indrid is not so drunk that he believes he can fix this. But he’s just drunk enough to stroke Duck’s cheek and murmur, “No. Nono, hic, you’re th’best.”

He doesn’t remember falling asleep after that, but he must have, because his phone is beeping at them to get up and face the day. They do so with to-go coffees in one hand and their bags in the other, neither speaking of the night before until Indrid has turned the car into deeper desert.

“Sorry for gettin on a thing about Alex last night.”

“It was a three year relationship; goodness knows you’re allowed to have feelings about it.”

“Even relief?”

Indrid glances at him, “Of course.”

His friend leans back in his seat, sipping from his travel mug, “That’s half the reason I been in such a funk. I feel like I oughta be sad, then I feel guilty for the fact I’m relieved instead. But if I really was that unhappy in it, why did I hang around so long? Maybe that was the best I deserved, y’know?”

“I know the feeling, yes, but I can’t say I agree with your statement. You deserve someone who sees you for who you are and adores it, not someone who loved what you once were and became bitter when you grew.”

Duck looks at the console between them, at Indrid’s chipped black nails and the hand he hopes isn’t shaking. He squeezes it a moment longer than necessary, “Thanks, ‘Drid. It’s nice to hear that from someone who’s still gettin to know me. Juno and them, they’re my friends, I know they’re in my corner but, uh, sometimes I worry that anyone new is gonna find me dull or somethin like that.”

“I’m sure some people would, just as some take one look at me and decide I’m a weirdo who they don’t want to deal with. But I can say with certainty that I don’t find you that way.”

Duck grins all the way to their destination. It’s a quirky trailer park full of amenities and built mostly from salvaged materials, doing it’s best to run off the grid. It also gives each trailer a theme, and Indrid flaps his hands when he sees they’ve been booked in the “The Cramps” themed one.

“Hell yeah.” Duck mirrors his excitement as they open the door. Their haven from the desert sun is full of kitschy horror artifacts and a much smaller bed than the previous spot. There’s no debate this time; Indrid settles on the right, Duck on the left, and they settle in for a nap before venturing out to work.

They take in the bar, the arcade, the mini-golf course, and the “couples supply room” (“damn, didn’t know they made eggnog scented massage oil” “ooh, I like how that smells”), but Duck turns out to be most excited to rent a stargazing kit and guide Indrid out into the dark desert. They’re on their backs, shoulder to shoulder and munching chocolate covered fruit, when he discovers the source of his glee.

“There!” Duck points to a crackling streak of silver.

“A meteor” Indrid wiggles happily as a second one speeds through his view.

“It’s the Perseids, and this is a damn good place to watch ‘em. Look, there’s another one.” He’s breathless each time and Indrid’s heart threatens to beat hard enough to crack the earth at the sound.

“Did you ever wish on stars when you were little?”

“Yep. Never asked for much worth notin, though I’m pretty sure I wished once to just wake up and be a boy. Or, uh, guess for everyone to see me as one. What about you?”

“I wished...I wished for someone to do things like this with, some who’d kiss me and tell me that they didn’t need to wish because what they wanted was right here.. I love the world, I want to see so much of it, that’s half the reason I chose my profession.. But when I was young I thought I’d be with someone when I did. I thought it was easy to find that kind of love. To be worthy of it.”

“Hey now” Duck rolls onto his side. He’s backlit by the moon, meteors zipping behind him as if they, just like Indrid, are pulled to him, “what happened to all the stuff you said in the car about deservin someone who adores you?”

“It’s easy to apply such things to you, harder to believe them about myself.”

“How come?”

“Because you are everything a sensible person could want in a man and I am not.”

“That’s where you’re wrong” He sets a hand next to Indrid’s shoulder, “Can think of at least one sensible fella who wants to get to know you a whole hell of a lot.”

“He’ll get to know me plenty, we’re co-workers.”

“There are different kinds of gettin to know someone.” Duck dips down, brushes their noses together, “for instance, the last few days I’ve gotten to know you’re a damn good travel companion and that Ned was smart to hire you. But I’ve also gotten to know there’s some things about you I really wanna know.”

“Such as?” Indrid’s fingers find Duck’s sides.

“Such as whether you wanna go on a date with me when we get back. No assignment, just the two of us gettin some time together.”

“I want nothing more.” He leans up to kiss him, feels him shudder happily when their lips meet. Indrid wonders how long it’s been since someone kissed Duck like they meant it, and resolves to make up any deficits with an enthusiasm that would put horny eighteen year olds to shame.

Indrid nips Ducks ear, “you know, were it not for the threat of mosquitos and scorpions, I’d suggest we make good use of the non-food items in that basket.”

Ducks grin lights Indrid up like a comet, “Then howsabout we go test just how conducive our trailer is to romance?”

Indrid kisses him adoringly, “Lead on, sweetheart; I’ll follow you anywhere.”

[spencer-reid-in-a-pool]

Guest Speaker Part 2

Author's Note: I received two anonymous requests for a smutty part 2 for Guest Speaker, so here it is!

Part 1

Tags: @that-aesthetic-wannabe​

Contains penetrative sex, oral sex (female receiving), fingering, mention of pregnancy, sex while in cheerleader uniform, orgasm denial(?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a couple of months since that fateful football game. Spencer and I really hit it off and were now officially dating.

He came to all my performances now. Sometimes he would bring some of his co-workers along, but my favorite days were the days he came by himself. I love them of course, but can you blame a girl for being possessive of perfection?

I stayed over at his apartment a lot now. And of course, Naomi never lets me hear the end of that one.

---------------

Present time:

"So you're telling me that you stay over at his apartment, sleep in the same bed, and you HAVEN'T had a piece of that yet? Girl! Get to it!"

"Naomi," I hissed at her over my lunch, "Either get a man or get a dildo because you are way too into my sex life."

Her eyes widened and she laughed breathlessly.

"Woah, feisty. Alright, I'll leave you alone. But come on, you've had to have wondered what it's like..."

She wasn't wrong. I had been thinking about it and wondering how it would feel- how he would feel. But for now, I just needed to worry about cheer practice.

"Come on, let's get to practice, Naomi."

--------------

Practice went by smoothly. No injuries, no drama, just practice. It was nearing the end of the season and a lot of the seniors, including me, just wanted to make the most of these last couple of weeks.

I cought the bus to Spencer's apartment like I normally did. He gave me a spare key, so I just let myself in most days. Surprisingly, he was already home.

"Spencer?" I called as I pushed the door open.

I smelled coffee brewing from the kitchen. Leave it to him to make coffee at this hour.

"In here!" He called back to me.

I dropped my bag by the door and kicked my shoes off, relishing in the feeling of not having my aching feet confined.

I made my way into the kitchen and saw Spencer sipping at his coffee.

"It's like, dinner time Spencer. Most people don't drink coffee right now," I laughed out.

Spencer looked at me in genuine confusion and said, "What boring lives they must live."

I couldn't help but smile as I shook my head.

"You're a dork."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

He took my face in his hands and kissed me deeply. He was the best kisser; I could never get enough.

"Are you okay? It seems like something is bothering you," he said quietly while looking me in the eyes.

I bit my lip. Could he tell what I was thinking? Could he tell that the way he kisses me puts my stomach in knots and makes my core throb like no tomorrow?

"I- no, nothing is bothering me, exactly. I've just been thinking- and Naomi was being stupid today."

Spencer looked at me, expecting me to say more. When I didn't speak, he looked down at me and smiled softly.

"Have I ever told you that you look beautiful in your uniform?"

I smiled up at him, and laid my head against chest. My heart was pounding and so was the bundle of nerves between my legs. I had never wanted anyone this bad. I had to say something. I had to.

"Ever wondered what I look like with it off?"

Spencer tensed up for a split second. Then he pulled back and looked at me with an expression I had never seen on him before.

I thought he would speak. I thought I had caught him off guard and he would stutter out some kind of ramble like he usually does. But no. This wasn't one of those times.

"All the time," he growled in my ear, "But I think I'd prefer fucking you with it on."

I felt the color drain from my face. I halfway expected my knees to start buckling and knocking together too.

"What-what did you say?"

"You heard me. You know exactly what I said. And unless I'm mistaken, I think what's been bothering you can easily be fixed. You're easy to read, (Y/N). Now, should I bend you over this counter right here, or should I take you to my bedroom and make your toes curl against the sheets?"

I had never been so taken aback in my life. Who was this? This couldn't be Spencer, my Spencer.

But at the same time, I trembled with lust at his words. So he had been thinking about me too.

"Bedroom."

Without a word, Spencer lifted me off my feet and carried me into his bedroom. He set me down on his bed and stooped down to meet my eyes. His expression was normal now, his eyes gentle again.

"We don't have to do this. I- I just look at you in that uniform and can't help myself. I've been waiting for this forever, it seems. So if you want me to stop, just tell me."

I smiled up at him.

"And I've been waiting for you to fuck me senseless, Dr."

Any sign of gentleness on his face was now gone, as if it had never been there at all.

"In that case- panties off. Now."

I swallowed the nervous lump in my throat and quickly did as I was told. I wasn't sure where this dominant side of Spencer was coming from, but it was exhilarating.

He watched me as I slid my already wet panties off.

"Lay down," he told me, surprisingly gently.

I did so and he leaned over me, kissing me hard while holding my face in his hands.

"All those people back in school would be getting a huge kick out of this, huh? Somehow I managed to snag the most beautiful, sexy, and intelligent cheerleader in the entire world. And I'm about to make her scream," he said quietly with a smirk.

Confidence bubbled up in my chest as I saw the way he looked at me. I could tell he wanted me and loved me. Only me.

And if he wants to play a game, then I'll play.

"Why don't you prove it? Read enough books to teach you how to eat pussy correctly, genius?"

I swear his eyes darkened while he looked at me. I could feel the desire radiating off of him.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

I grinned mischievously at him as his head lowered in between my legs. I couldn't deny I was nervous, but seeing him down there was just too good.

He started out gently, trailing his tongue along my folds while his hands gripped my thighs. When he felt my hips start to move, he got a little more aggressive, lapping at my clit like a starving animal.

The noises that came from my throat were almost embarrassing. I hoped to God that his neighbors weren't home.

"S-Spencer," I whined.

I felt his smirk as he continued his assault on my core.

"Where did this all come from?"

Spencer raised his head to look at me, a draft between my legs now where he once was. His chin glistened in the dimly lit room. Knowing that was me all over his mouth made my stomach flutter.

"No talking," Spencer commanded.

I had to restrain myself from saying "Yes sir!" Although he probably would've liked it.

Before I could think about what was going on, he dipped a finger into me.

"Spencer Reid-"

I liked the way his name felt in my mouth when I moaned. Almost as much as I liked his fingers knuckle deep inside of me.

He pushed another finger in and stroked my sweet spot. How did he find it so fast?

My muscles tightened and I grabbed at the sheets with my sweaty, shaking hands. I panted in time with his fingers moving inside me. With his other hand he rubbed my clit aggressively, seeing how close I was to becoming undone all over him.

But as soon as I felt my climax closing in, he withdrew his fingers and smirked down at me.

"What the hell?" I almost yelled at him.

His smirk only grew as he sucked his fingers off.

"Not yet. I wanna feel you cum on my dick, pretty thing."

I threw my head back and bit my lip, trying to keep from screaming.

"That's my girl. You stay just like that."

I stayed where I was even as I heard him undress. I had never wanted to look at him so bad in all the time we'd been together.

"Spencer, please," I whimpered.

"Look up."

I raised my head slowly, my muscles shaking. He was naked from the waist down and he was lining himself up painfully slow.

"Oops, I almost forgot," he said quietly. He then reached over to his nightstand and pulled a condom out of one of the drawers. "Don't wanna get you pregnant... just yet."

I stifled another moan at his words. He was going to be the death of me.

"Just fuck me already, Spencer."

He looked me in the eyes with an amused expression as he finished putting the condom on.

"I'm coming," he murmured.

Spencer leaned over and kissed me sweetly. I felt him enter me and I opened my mouth against his in shock. He took the opportunity to slip his tongue in my mouth, which I definitely wasn't mad about.

Our tongues danced against each other as he pounded into me. Each time he would slip out, he simply rammed his dick back inside me.

I grabbed at his shoulders and his hair, anywhere I could get ahold of. His mouth left mine and relocated to my neck. Soft grunts escaped his lips as he nibbled my skin, sending vibrations into my neck.

I felt myself falling apart around him and I knew he did too.

"Cum for me," he grunted out in my ear.

His words and his noises, coupled with the sound of his slick skin against mine made me unravel completely. I tightened around him and came forcefully, my thighs even more slick than before.

I hadn't realized I moaned throughout my orgasm until the room got quiet. I opened my eyes and saw Spencer completely lost in thought. His eyes were closed and his hair stuck to his forehead with sweat.

I held onto his shoulders weakly and grinned, trying to catch my breath.

"Your turn, Dr."

His eyes shot open and he looked down at me, as if he forgot I was there. The thrusts were becoming more and more sloppy and I felt his arms begin to shake as he continued to hold himself up.

"The things you do to me, (Y/N)," were his only words before he collapsed on top of me, the condom now filled to the brim with liquid.

We laid in silence, except for the sound of our mingled panting. A stupid grin spread across my face and my eyes fluttered shut in contentment.

Spencer removed himself and threw away the soiled condom. He grabbed a new pair of pajama pants for himself and handed me a change of clothes after placing a sloppy kiss on my lips.

"We should do that again sometime," he said as he laid down.

I smiled and finished changing into the clothes Spencer had grabbed for me. My legs shook as I walked back over to the bed. I fell next to him with a huff.

"Maybe next time you can undress me."

Spencer blushed slightly.

"I'm not apologizing. The way you look in the uniform just gets to me," he laughed breathlessly.

I laughed with him and cuddled into his side.

"I love you, Spencer."

"And I love you, pretty thing."

[nerdinsandals]

Do you have headcanons about Conway? If yes, then do you think he ever traveled outside of Sinnoh? He passes the impression that he could become some sort of Gary, but wouldn't give up in fighting or Winning the league.

I do have some! You can find a handful of them here (even though it's a pretty old tag that hasn't been updated in five years, oops).

I'm fairly sure he did travel outside of Sinnoh at some point! Or, at least, I'd like to think he did. After all, his team is formed by Pokémon that were discovered in other regions:

Slowking is a Johto Pokémon (while Slowpoke was discovered in Kanto).

Shuckle and Heracross are also native to Johto.

The entire Aggron line are Hoenn Pokémon.

Dusknoir is a Sinnoh Pokémon. However, we don't know if he caught it as a Duskull/Dusclops in Hoenn or if it's the same Dusknoir that saved his life in DP090. I personally like the idea of it being the same Dusknoir that saved him. :>

Lickilicky is also a Sinnoh Pokémon (while Lickitung is a Kanto one).

Of course, them being Pokémon discovered in other regions doesn't necessarily mean they can't be found in Sinnoh at all, but it's worth noting that none of his Pokémon team's first stages are Pokémon discovered in Sinnoh. In fact, in the DPPt games, you can only catch three of his team members, if I remember correctly.

Since half of his team are Generation II Pokémon, I like the idea of him starting his journey in Johto. Adding to this is the fact that Conway is based on a Super Nerd, a Trainer class that only existed in Generation I, Generation II, and their respective remakes and adaptations. Plus, considering that HeartGold and SoulSilver came out during Generation IV, it wouldn't be far-fetched to think that the writers intentionally made him a Super Nerd with some Johto Pokémon as a way to promote the then new games.

Or maybe I'm giving it too much thought, who knows. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It's also natural for Trainers to move on to other regions once they're done exploring one and collecting all the Gym badges, so I assume Conway would be no exception and would continue to travel the world after the Sinnoh League. He could definitely pull a Gary and find a new passion/s along the way too, though that doesn't mean he'd have to stop training/traveling. As we've seen with characters like Nando, it's totally doable, you just have to be able to manage your time.

On an unrelated note, I also like to think Conway's had Slowking since way before he started his journey. It'd justify why they're so in-sync, since sometimes Pokémon and Trainers become very similar in personality after spending a long time together and forming a stronger bond. Just imagine a little nerdy kid with glasses that are too big for his face, carrying around a sleepy Slowpoke in his arms because it's too slow to keep up with its human. Wouldn't that be adorable!?

[lambden]

fic writer review

tagged by @dameferre (on main) <3 this ended up being long so i’m throwing it under the cut! thank you for the tag, i’ve wanted to do this for a while!

tagging: @weedsinavacantlot @mosaicscale @jaskiersvalley @unyielding-as-the-sea @chubbykatsudon @ohnomybreadsticks even though I know some of you have already done this!

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

78. one is anonymous right now for a flash fic challenge so it isn’t showing up. i have no fucking idea how i got here (AND i’ve deleted so many stories...)

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

542911 which is truly horrendous. somebody stop me

3. how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

so i’ve MOSTLY written the witcher/dead by daylight/until dawn, but i have 25 fandoms with currently published works. yikes

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

-number one is a stupid fic with a polyamorous ship (+ a trans character) for a fandom i no longer care about and a book series i really hate. i regret writing it (and have said so in the notes), i was at a place in my life where i wanted to write this incredibly self-indulgent thing after diving headfirst into canon, and now rereading it with a critical eye, it just makes me annoyed.

-number two is, SOMEHOW, the geraskier scent kink fic?! i don’t understand how this has more kudos than some of my other fics!!!!! people really love smut huh

-number three is venom smut

-number four is the cave, my longest fic! it’s an until dawn fix-it that is very self-indulgent and definitely needs a total rework haha

5. do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i try to respond to all comments that aren’t anonymous! like elle said, I appreciate it more when people notice an obscure reference or something. I think the one word/emoji comments are still nice but they don’t personally have much of an impact on me. and all this being said, i am perpetually behind on my comment replies I currently have 246 to do 😔😔😔

6. what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

it’s the one i’m publishing next week for the whataboutthebard event hehe

7. do you write crossovers? if so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i love crossovers i think theyre very fun! i wrote an (unpublished) crossover where deadpool and cable are the superhero identities of face and hannibal from the a-team. it was a birthday gift to a friend and it was VERY indulgent especially with the non-linear timeline (because cable) but whatever, i reread it recently and it still slaps

8. have you ever received hate on a fic?

i have but nothing that really irked me so badly i remembered it, oops

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i sure do which is hilarious because as someone who is sex repulsed like 95% of the time irl... how do i keep getting away with this

10. have you ever had a fic stolen?

okay no i haven’t (to my knowledge) but also someone once wrote an until dawn fic “inspired by” the cave that basically took the exact same plot and ....??? made it worse/simpler? it was hard to read so i wasn’t 100% sure but. at first i was flattered and eventually it just got annoying, even though they barely wrote anything for it

11. have you ever had a fic translated?

people have offered but none have followed through!! wah

12. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i’ve planned out fics with people but the writing process is difficult enough without someone else there. i would really like to get into those train fics where each author writes a different part though, i think it’d be a ton of fun

13. what’s your all-time fave ship?

it is probably, just statistically, eames and arthur. but there are so many lmao how could i choose

14. what’s a fic you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

i should probably put the cave here but i’m close to the end of that one actually, just need to sit down and do it! but ‘spectacular’, the kingsman/baby driver crossover i worked SOOOO hard on, is probably not something i’m ever going to feel comfortable finishing. or if i do, i will be rewriting it so that it’s clear that i’m headcanoning baby as someone other than ans*l elg*rt (john boyega...? 👀) but yeah at this moment in time i can’t see that happening

15. what are your writing strengths?

idk.. i like my dialogue!

16. what are your writing weaknesses?

scene transitions, endings, editing out scenes that aren’t cohesive and don’t contribute anything but I love Them Your Honour, falling into the same boring writing style with each sentence having the exact same structure

17. what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages on a fic?

i think it needs to be done correctly and there has to be a reason for it

18. what was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

i dunno man... naruto maybe???? d. gray-man? sh*rlock??????????? perhaps les mis when i was a baby and literally only cared about eponine and cosette

19. what is your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

it’s really hard for me to choose only one answer here 😔 I really like my laegjarn/fjorm stuff and the ocean’s eleven fic i wrote, and i LOVE the dialogue in my veep fics <3 for dead by daylight i’m still proud of my jake/evan summer camp slasher AU! and i like most of my witcher fics, i’m really excited about some things i have in the works right now.

if you actually made it to the bottom, thanks for reading!!! 🥰🥰🥰

[lotusjwy]

“Don’t listen to them. Don’t you EVER listen to them.” jiang cheng and wwx - @gremlinmetawin

hello hello again, so! i decided that this prompt fit.. very well with the last xicheng on (which i will link in the notes, bc i’ve heard links break tags? in case u haven’t read it yet), and so this is a continuation of that 😬  and i was 100% meant to finish this earlier today, but i ended up being out of the house until like 9pm OOPS, but i finished it and here it is! also gonna tag u so u see @gremlinmetawin 💜

Wei Wuxian narrowed his eyes in confusion as he watched Jiang Cheng stalk away from the Hanshi, very obviously distressed. Well. Obvious to anyone who had grown up with Jiang Cheng. It was uncommon for Jiang Cheng to leave Lan Xichen’s company in anything less than a good mood, yet here he was storming away as if he couldn’t escape fast enough. 

Suddenly, a thought popped into his head. A thought of his Lan Zhan walking into the Jingshi with pain in his eyes, pain that even with all the embraces and kisses in the world, Wei Wuxian hadn’t been able to fix. A pain that was caused by his love’s own brother, because it would seem that the events of Guanyin Temple had affected him more severely than they had originally thought. 

He tended to be uniquely cold in these moods, knowing exactly how to stab someone exactly where it would hurt the most. He’d once told Wei Wuxian that he was the cause of the fall of the Jiang Sect, which was something he’d never told even Lan Zhan.

Everyone residing at Cloud Recesses knew to avoid the Hanshi on mornings they didn’t hear a flute sound from the dwelling. However, Jiang Cheng didn’t reside in Cloud Recesses. He didn’t know of this unspoken law of the land; how could he have known? Of course, he hadn’t known, and thus Lan Xichen must have said something that had severely hurt the other.

Quickly turning to Lan Zhan, Wei Wuxian tugged on the other’s robes to get his attention. “Did Xichen-ge play the flute this morning?” Wuxian wasn’t awake at the time Lan Xichen usually played, he rarely was awake that early, relying on Lan Zhan to tell him when he should avoid the elder.

Lan Wangji thought about the question for a moment, before shaking his head. “He did not. If you wish to see him, you should go tomorrow, instead.” He was unwilling to let his husband go through the ordeal of his brother in one of his moods again. He still didn’t know what his brother had said, but it had haunted Wei Ying for weeks afterwards.

“That’s not why. Didn’t you see what I did?!” Wei Wuxian was growing frustrated at the situation, his eyes frantically searching after where he had seen Jiang Cheng stalk off towards, realising that he was no longer there. Without waiting for the other to respond, he continued, “someone let Jiang Cheng go see him, fuck.”

Lan Wangji actually hadn’t seen Jiang Wanyin, but he wasn’t about to question his husbands’ words. However, he didn’t exactly see what the problem was, and voiced as much, “I’m sure xiongzhang would have said nothing that Jiang Wanyin hasn’t heard about himself before. Would he not be fine?”

Wei Wuxian rounded on his husband and glared him for his words, “Lan Zhan, we are going to have a serious talk about this later. But for now, I have to go find my idiot brother who’s probably about to shut himself away from everyone he cares about, again.” Without listening for another word from his husband, Wuxian quickly sped off – ensuring not to run lest he piss off Lan Qiren again.

He made his way through Cloud Recesses, realising that Jiang Cheng would have wanted to leave, immediately. He was hoping that instead of flying back to Yunmeng he’d stay in Caiyi for the day. If he had gone to Caiyi, Wuxian could catch up with, Yunmeng, however, would take a lot more time.

It would seem that he wouldn’t have to worry about either journey, as he had found Jiang Cheng, who was stood frozen not too far from the gates to Cloud Recesses. As Wuxian quickly made his way towards the other, he heard not so hushed whispers coming from the various Lan disciples surrounding them.

“Sect Leader Jiang just got here and he’s already leaving in a fit? You’d think years of being a sect leader would have calmed this infamous tempter.”

“He’s always so angry, it’s no wonder he has no wife.”

“Wife? It’s no wonder all of his disciples are terrified of doing him wrong.”

“Have you heard how many times he threatens to dismember and maim Sect Leader Jin?”

“He used to torture demonic cultivators in the past, so what difference would it make? He killed his own brother after all.”

It seemed that the gossiping would never end, each comment growing worse than the last, Jiang Cheng’s fists clenching even tighter with each spoken word, his entire body beginning to shake. Wei Wuxian had had enough of people belittling his brother.  

“If I recall correctly, and trust me, I do, gossiping is forbidden in Cloud Recesses. Scatter before I stop being nice and get Hanguang-jun to hand out your punishments.” Wuxian watched with a cold expression on his face, as the disciples scattered off into various directions, faces flushed with the shock of having been caught.

He approached Jiang Cheng as one would approach an injured, wild animal. With caution. “Jiang Cheng? Are you okay?” When he got no response, he sighed and moved closer to the other, gently placing a hand on the other’s arm. “A-Cheng? Shidi?”

“Who the fuck are you calling shidi?” Jiang Cheng’s voice was rough, as if he was holding back from either crying or screaming, he couldn’t tell yet.

Giving his brother a grin, Wei Wuxian wrapped an arm lightly across the Jiang Cheng’s shoulders, “he speaks!”

“Perhaps I shouldn’t.” He let out a pained sigh and turned to look off into the distance, not wanting to face his brother right now.

Fuck, Xichen-ge had definitely said something bad to him. “No! Speaking is good, speaking is wanted! In fact, let’s go down to Caiyi, have some Emperor’s Smile and have a nice long talk.”

“I’m not great company right now.” He risked a glance at the other, his eyes slightly narrowed, “you just want me to pay for your drinks, don’t you?”

“Hmm? Really? You’re no more different than usual, I’d say. But you’re right, I do, so let’s go!” Wei Wuxian let out a laugh, smiling as he spoke, dragging Jiang Cheng down the path.

Somehow, they had found themselves in the corner of a tavern in Caiyi. Once they had been served, Wei Wuxian turned to his brother tapping lightly on the table to catch his attention, knowing that he needed to say this now rather than later. He couldn’t let Jiang Cheng be stuck in his head for much longer.

“Don’t listen to them, Jiang Cheng.” Wei Wuxian situated himself directly in front of his brother, making sure the other could see how serious his words were, “don’t you ever listen to them!”

“What are you talking about?”

“What those disciples said, earlier. They don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. They don’t know you.” He hesitated for a second, before letting out a sigh, “As well as whatever Zewu-jun said to you when you visited him today. Whatever he said, it wasn’t true.”

Jiang Cheng froze, “how did you know I saw him today?” Had he been that obvious? Could everyone tell what Lan Xichen had said to him?

With a shrug, he responded. “I saw you leaving the Hanshi.”

“How do you know he said anything?”

“He- uh. I don’t know how much I’m really allowed to say, so I’ll only say my own observations?” He waited for Jiang Cheng to nod, before continuing, “ever since Guanyin Temple he… hasn’t been okay. Sometimes, and It really is very rare, he gets into these foul moods, where he picks at our biggest insecurities to get us to leave. We should have warned you; someone should have warned you. I’m so sorry.”

Wei Wuxian had said ‘us’, that means that Lan Xichen had said something horrible to him as well. Jiang Cheng was curious what Lan Xichen had to say about his brother’s husband, and so he asked, “what did he say to you?”

He shifted uncomfortably for a moment, before letting out a sigh. He couldn’t get Jiang Cheng to talk, if he himself was unwilling. “That I’m the reason yo- our sect burnt to the ground. He told me that if I had minded my own business that the Yunmeng Jiang Sect would have survived, and all those disciples, your parents,  would still be alive to this day.” His voice barely above a whisper, the words still piercing through his heard.

Jiang Cheng froze and sucked in a sharp breath. The man really was ruthlessly cruel, wasn’t he? Why did Jiang Cheng get vilified for his angry disposition, yet Lan Xichen was getting away with saying such horrendous things?

Not willing to speak anymore on the issue, as it had passed, and Wei Wuxian had already made his peace with Lan Xichen over it. They were here to talk about Jiang Cheng, not him. “I shared, now it’s your turn. What did he say to you?”

“What didn’t he say? His words more or less mirrored everything those disciples was saying. That I’m a cruel man, who should have shut myself off from the cultivation world.” He took a shaky breath, willing himself to not break down right here. Once he had calmed down a little, he continued to speak, “that all I do is torture innocent people, who I should have given a chance. That there’s a reason I’ve been alone all these years and it’s not just because my entire fucking family died.”

“He’s wrong,” Wei Wuxian had never been more confident than in the fact that his brother was a good man. How many of Jiang Cheng’s insecurities did Lan Xichen have to bring up? Why couldn’t he be done with just one?

Jiang Cheng let out a short, humourless laugh, “is he?”

Grabbing his brother’s hands, Wei Wuxian looked at Jiang Cheng desperately, “yes. Jiang Cheng, please tell me you don’t believe him.” He searched Jiang Cheng’s eyes, shocked as he realised just why the other’s words had hurt as much as they did.

“Who am I to disagree with the great Zewu-jun?” He turned his face away from Wei Wuxian’s, not liking the look on the other’s face, knowing that he had figured it out.

“You have feelings for him.” It was as if a pin had dropped, silence falling upon them for a few moments, as both took in Wuxian’s words.

With a heavy sigh, Jiang Cheng pulled his hands away from Wei Wuxian’s, placing them on his lap, to play with his clarity bell, hoping to find some peace. “I did. Now I’m unsure. This… has taught me some things, I suppose.” He didn’t know if he could try to pursue anything with someone who had dragged his every insecurity through the mud as if it were nothing. Who had brushed him off as if he were nothing.

Wei Wuxian looked at his brother sorrowfully, wishing that he could make it better, that he could take back the words Lan Xichen had said to him. “A-Cheng…”

“It is what it is, Wei Wuxian. It’s not as if my personality is a secret to the world.”

“But it is. Everyone thinks you’re this hateful person, but you love so fucking much, Jiang Cheng. Anybody unwilling to learn that about you isn’t worthy of your love.” He would die on this fucking hill if he had to, Jiang Cheng was and always would be the most loving of the three of them, both in what he gave and needed, yet never seemed to receive.

“Wei Wuxian…” Jiang Cheng looked at Wei Wuxian with confusion in his eyes, unwilling to believe that the other had this opinion of him. Surely after everything that had happened, even his brother wouldn’t believe he was capable of love.

“No! I refuse to let you or anyone else badmouth you. That’s my job and Jin Ling’s fucking job, that’s it. That’s all that’s allowed. No one else.” He would spend the rest of his life making sure Jiang Cheng knew that he was loved, and he knew Jin Ling would, as well.

“Alright, alright, I’ll… try not to let it get to me. Can we fucking eat now?” He had had enough of talking about himself, about his feelings, he wanted to pretend that the first half of this day hadn’t happened.

Pursing his lips, Wei Wuxian surveyed the other, before giving him a nod, “fine, but say the word, and I’ll yell at Zewu-jun for you.” He could always start this conversation another time, when Jiang Cheng was less likely to walk away from him and just fly off because he had gotten overwhelmed again.

Jiang Cheng snorted a laugh in response, choosing to take a bite of chicken,  knowing he didn’t require any other form of response.

[shhh-no-ones-home]

loud mouth colson baker(mgk) x reader

+++++++++ So I had a dream about him and it's all I've been thinking about all day so here ya go, this seems to be a theme lately lol

Song: aint talking bout love by van halen

tag list: @cynic-spirit +++++++++

"Wow you really know how to make a mess don't you."

My friend said, looking around at the room piled with clothes. I picked a shirt up and tossed it at him.

"Shut up, I told you I needed to clean out my closet."

He laughed at me, folding it and putting it in top of my desk.

"You're gonns need some serious help with this."

I began plucking clothing items off my bed and folding them.

"Yeah I know, colson's coming over later and so is Bree."

I watched John pick up another shirt and fold it.

"Lucky me for getting here early."

He joked. I sent him a knowing smile.

"Hey at least Id already started, everything is out of the closet and half of it I'm getting rid of."

I said proudly. He laughed a little at me.

"Okay, please tell me you are losing this one."

He said, hopeful, holding up a very old and worn out mgk shirt. I frowned and snatched it away from him.

"Of course not, colson gave me that the first time I ever went to one of his live shows."

John crossed his arms across his chest at me. Then there was a knock at my bedroom door, drawing our attention to colson standing in the doorway.

"I hope you don't mind I let myself in, the front door was unlocked."

He said with a smile. I dropped the shirt to the bed and went in for a hug.

"Of course not, I told you you can come in any time."

He held me with one hand as he fist bumped John, letting me go a second later.

"So, this looks a little crazy."

He said finally looking around the room. I let out a nervous laugh, going back to my spot at the end of the bed.

"I know it does now but once everything is sorted it'll be a breeze to put away."

He kind of looked at me like I was crazy before stepping over some clothes and making his way to me.

"Okay, where do you want me to start?"

I looked around for a second.

"Um, John's doing shirts, I'm doing this... Wanna start folding and stacking pants?"

I asked, pointing to them. He shrugged.

"Sure."

He walked to the pile and dropped to the ground, sitting with his legs crossed as he began pulling things out.

"So, what did I miss?"

He asked, John sending me a knowing look.

"Not a whole lot."

I said condescendingly, throwing the shirt back at John.

"She won't get rid of this."

He said holding it to his chest and looking down at it. Colson laughed a little bit.

"You still have that? That merch line hasn't been around for years."

He said in wonderment. I put my hands on my hips as he kept folding and stacking.

"You gave that to me, of course I kept it. Do you even remember that night?"

I asked pointedly. He thought for a second before shrugging.

"I don't know y/n I don't remember a lot of shit."

I rolled my eyes as I went back to folding and stacking too.

"It was the first of your live shows you invited me to. When it was over you asked if I was going to that party with you. of course I said I couldnt stay too long but you said I had to anyways. We were at that dude's house till, God, it must been like four in the morning."

We both laughed at the memory. He nodded his head.

"Yeah I remember now, you were so drunk. But that one chic spilled her entire glass of wine down the front of you and it's all I had when we got back to my place."

He laughed, John looking between us with a smirk on his face. I couldn't help but think fondly of that night, even if it did go quite awry.

"Sounds like quite a night."

John mentioned, sending me another knowing look.

"It really was."

Colson stood up and placed the stack of pants on the bed next to the one I was working on.

"If I remember correctly, that was also the first time you had drank yourself into a hangover. Literally."

I cringed.

"Yeah, I was so sick that next day, I was honestly just glad you were there."

I turned to John as he sat.

"I literally couldn't walk, I was violently sick the whole day, and the headache I had was like none I've ever had in my life."

Colson laughed a little bit, nudging my arm with his elbow.

"Lucky for you I'm a great hangover doctor."

°°°°°°°°° I looked to Bree as she handed me another hanger, the guys in the other room deciding on dinner. We had been at this most of the day and I was beginning to wonder who the hell let me do this to myself. There was a mountain of clothes by my door that was all stuff I had planned to get rid of. Part of me felt refreshed but I still had to finish putting away what was left.

"Aw I remember you telling me about this one."

She said picking up the shirt we had talked about earlier. I smiled to myself as I put it on the hanger.

"Ya know we had just finished talking about that night right before you got here."

She pouted.

"So I missed the best story about you two? No fair."

She protested, sulking down into her seat. I laughed a little bit.

"As if you don't know every detail anyway."

She perked back up as she handed me another shirt hanger.

"Well yeah but I still love hearing about it. That's when it all started."

She said winking at me and I waved the shirt in my hand at her.

"That's our secret ma'am."

I said through gritted teeth and she just laughed at me.

"They aren't in here what does it matter."

She said at me.

"You just love a man Willing to take you... Oops I meant take care of you."

My eyes went wide, my mouth dropping as I playfully gasped at her.

"Excuse you! He's just a friend."

I said matter of factly and she raised an unimpressed brow at me.

"Sure he is. It's not like you two don't flirt relentlessly at each other all the time or anything."

I rolled my eyes as I finished hanging the last few things up.

"What about it? Friends flirt with each other all the time."

"Really?"

She said flatly. Then John came in the room, colson hot on his heels.

"Pizza."

Was all he said. Bree and I looked between them.

"Okay?"

I asked and he held the phone out to me.

"Holy shit."

I said taking it from him.

"Do we really need all this food for just the four of us?"

Colson stepped to me and took the phone back.

"Come on y/n, if we're staying the night like you planned you know it's gonna get eaten."

I sighed.

"You buying?"

He grinned widely at me.

"Yes ma'am."

I caved.

"Fine."

"Yes!"

He said giving John a high five and finishing the order. I shook my head.

"You two are ridiculous."

Colson grinned widely at me.

"Yeah, ridiculously hungry."

I laughed.

"You should put that in a song loser."

He handed the phone back to John, him walking back out into the hallway.

"Ooo wait! Are you getting barbeque?!"

Bree yelled, following him quickly. I laughed to myself as I pushed my clothes around in the closet, making sure everything was in its right place. Colson draped his arm over my shoulder, admiring my work.

"I'm proud of us."

He said.

"We got a lot done today."

I nodded against him, bringing my arm around his waist.

"Yes we did, and thanks again, it really means a lot. I definitely needed the help."

I said smiling up at him. He was already staring down at me. I let out a nervous laugh.

"What?"

He grinned widely.

"I wasn't gonna say anything, but Bree is kind of loud..."

My mouth dropped open, taking my hand from his back and covering my face.

"No."

I groaned into my hands as he laughed, wrapping his arms around me and kissing the top of my head.

"Don't be shy baby."

He said, pulling my hands down. I couldn't help the mad blush making its way to my cheeks.

"What did you hear?"

I asked hesitantly, him snaking his arms around my waist.

"You like a man that can take you and take care of you."

He said proudly, a lazy smile playing across his lips. I held my breath and closed my eyes.

"Oh god."

I sighed out. He laughed again, rubbing his finger tips into my lower back.

"Hey, don't feel bad, we've been friends forever. Nothing I can't handle. Besides, I wouldn't flirt back if I wasnt a little interested."

My eyes went wide at his words.

"What are you saying?"

I asked skeptically. He smirked at me.

"Kiss me and find out."

He said lowly. I just stared at him. My brain couldn't comprehend what was happening. Before I knew it he was moving towards me and I couldn't breathe. A second later his lips were on mine and I was kissing him like my life depended on it. He dipped me down, holding me tightly to him. When he pulled away I inhaled sharply, needing as much air as I could get. Or at least that's what it felt like. My lungs burned and my brain was misfiring. He half smiled before pecking me on the lips again.

"God I should've done that ages ago."

He breathed out and I nodded.

"Agreed."

I said, pulling him back down to me and kissing him passionately.

"Yes!"

I heard Bree shout, making me smile against him. When he pulled away we both looked to the doorway, Bree dancing in place as John stood there with his mouth open.

"How long has that been a thing?!"

He said shocked. Bree punched his arm making him flinch away. She ran to us, giving us a collective hug.

"I love you guys."

She said looking between us and I couldn't help but blush again.

"Thanks Bree."

[artificialqueens]

Stupid For You, Chapter 2 (Crygi, Jankie, Jaida x Nicky) - Metaluna

Summary: It’s everyone’s final day of training, and then the big opening. Everything is going to go smoothly, or so Gigi hopes….

The rest of training was a blur. Brita and Jaida forgot on the first day, but on the second day, they gave their trainees tags that stuck on the bottom of the nametag that said TRAINEE in big block letters, and explained the tradition of dramatically ripping them off upon completing training. Gigi and Jan learned how to stock the shops. Jan decided pretty quickly that it wasn’t for her, mainly because she found out she’d be talking to guests a lot less. Gigi loved that aspect, since she was afraid talking to the guests. She also loved that the stockers got to bounce from store to store throughout the day. There was a lot of freedom, which is something Gigi liked. They were also shown by Brita how to pull products from the case at the candy shop and how to slice the caramel apples. Gigi wasn’t a fan of this, because her apple slices were always uneven, and it was embarrassingly hard for her to pull the sticks out. Of course, Jan excelled at this, just as she did with everything else.

Their last day of training was the day before opening. Every year, the day before opening was a preview for season passholders.  This was the day that Jaida and Brita had to assess their trainees and either pass or fail them, depending on how they performed. The day before, they had their stocking assessment. Both Jan and Gigi easily passed. The sales assessment was straightforward. They just had to act like they were already trained, greeting guests, doing transactions, answering questions, all normal things.  Except, Jaida and Brita were standing in the background with a clipboard watching them like hawks.

At first, Gigi hid behind the register. She knew that was exactly what she wasn’t supposed to do, but she couldn’t help it. Jan, on the other hand, was actively talking to guests and just being Jan. As soon as she was about to go to the floor, a guest walked up. It was a girl that couldn’t have been more than nine. Brita stood behind Gigi.

“Hi,” Gigi said warmly with a smile. “How are you?”

“Good. How about you?”

“I’m great, thank you so much for asking! What’s your favorite thing you did today?”

The girl smiled. “I did The Genie for the first time today!”

“Oh my goodness, did you get scared?” Gigi’s tone was overenthusiastic, but that was the Paradise Isle way.

“Only a little bit!”

“You know what that means right?”

“No, what?”

“You have to go on The Jinn!”

“I’m going to with my big sister later!”

“Well you’re going to have to come back and tell me how it was! That will be 20 dollars before the discount, can I please see your season pass? Since you definitely aren’t old enough to drive, I just need to see the pass.” The girl held up her pass. “Amazing. After your discount, it’s going to be 16 dollars.”

The girl handed over a twenty, which Gigi appreciated because it was easy math.

She handed the girl her change and said, “Have fun!”

Gigi was shocked at how well she interacted with the little girl. She looked back at Brita who gave her a thumbs up. This gave her the confidence to wander the floor. A guest asked for directions. Thankfully, it was to the bathroom right outside of the store.

After about a half an hour more, Jaida gathered her trainees in the stockroom.

“Ladies,” Jaida began, her tone serious. “I have to say that I’m disappointed.”

Gigi and Jan’s excited facial expressions dropped. Tears began to brim on Jan’s eyes.

“I’m just kidding! Y’all did great. You pass.”

“You rotted bitch,” Brita teased.

“Oh, you know it’s tradition to make the trainees squirm. I expect you to do the same when you get trainees of your own. Jan, Gigi, rip those things off your badges. You’re officially sales hostesses at Paradise Isle.

Gigi smiled as she tore the TRAINEE tag off of her badge.

“Time for lunch!” Brita exclaimed.

….

Jackie hated doing assessments. Because she was a trainer at The Genie, she ended up failing about half of her trainees. Since it was such a safety critical ride, the assessment had to be nearly perfect. While failing trainees didn’t mean they were fired, it meant that they had to do an extra day of training. This made Jackie feel like she was a bad trainer. Thankfully, Nicky caught on fast. Jackie stood behind Nicky as Nicky stood at the console in the tower.

“And how do you ride stop?”

Nicky pointed to a red large button on the console.

“The emergency stop?”

Nicky pointed to a raised red button with a yellow square around it.

“Why would you rather ride stop than emergency stop?”

“Because emergency stopping cuts the power, and we have to call maintenance.”

“Perfect. How old do kids have to be to ride by themselves?”

“They have to be eight years old, and if they’re under they have to be accompanied by someone who is at least fourteen.”

“Look at you! Alright, so we’re getting our first guests for the day. I always offer, do you want to do the easy stuff first or the hard stuff?”

“Let’s get the hard stuff out of the way.”

Jackie was impressed with her trainee’s confidence. Nicky was an absolute rockstar. She remembered everything Jackie taught her. Nicky did the load one, load two, and tower positions flawlessly. The only position she struggled was greeter, the position that most people excelled at. The guests struggled to understand what Nicky’s accent at times, but considering that it wasn’t her fault, and half the time that position wasn’t used anyway, Jackie passed her on greeter.

“Well?” Nicky questioned. “Did I pass?”

“Nicky…” Jackie said with a serious tone. “I’m sorry to tell you… that you were one of the best trainees that I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with.”

“Seriously?” Nicky was stunned. She thought she was going to fail like half percent of the other people, considering Jackie, who was a great rides hostess, needed an extra day when she started. She explained to Nicky that she accidentally took her eyes off of the train at load one when she sent it.

“Yes, now rip that tag off your badge so we can go to lunch.”

—

Crystal was nervous as she waited for a guest to come up and play her game. The past few days, Crystal learned about all six of the games on The Boardwalk. Even though it took her longer than Widow to catch on, Crystal eventually caught on and became much more confident. Although, when it was time for her assessment, Crystal was a nervous wreck, and begged her partner to go first. They had done mock assessments at five of the games the day before. Because she was so nervous, Crystal cried twice. But, because she technically did everything correctly, and there weren’t actual guests, Heidi didn’t fail her.

Now that it was time for the actual assessment. Crystal and Widow had to run a game by themselves. Crystal begged Widow go first again. Heidi put Widow at the ring toss game. Two preteens came up and handed Widow the money. Widow explained the rules as she set the bucket of rings down.

“You have to completely get the ring around a bottle. It can’t be on their halfway. I’m watching, so don’t cheat.” Her tone was kind, yet stern.

Crystal watched the girls go through every single last ring with no luck.

“Better luck next time, ladies,” Widow said sympathetically.

The three went into the basketball booth. Heidi chose it for Crystal because it was the game she was least likely to get yelled at. Heidi knew that if Crystal cried during her live assessment, she would have to fail her. Heidi never had to fail a trainee, and she wasn’t about to do it now.  

“Hello!” Crystal greeted a boy who was about her age and what looked to be his girlfriend. “Would you like to play?”

The boy nodded and handed over his five dollars. Crystal put the bill in the bank that vacuumed the bill into the bank while her hands shook from nerves. In exchange, Crystal handed over three small basketballs. She watched as the boy failed to make any of the baskets. The girl next to him looked disappointed, yawning while she was on her phone.

He handed over another five. Again, no baskets.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” the girl announced.

Once she was out of earshot, the boy said, “How much to just buy a prize?”

“Sorry, but you can’t do that,” Crystal explained. “None of them are for sale.”

The boy pulled out a twenty. “How about now?”

“No, I can’t. I’m sorry.”

The boy huffed and walked away. “Fucking bitch.”

Heidi looked at Crystal in suspense, hoping to God that she wouldn’t cry. Crystal took a deep breath to compose herself, but managed to hold it together.

“Oh my God, Crystal you didn’t cry!” Widow hugged Crystal.

“I didn’t cry!”

Heidi looked at her trainees sternly. “Unfortunately though, girls, I just gotta say that you could both improve vastly on… absolutely nothing, you both pass. Let’s go to lunch.”

Crystal confidently ripped the TRAINEE tag off of her name badge.

–

When Gigi, Jan, Jaida, and Brita made it into the break room, Heidi’s training group, as well as Jackie’s were sat at the large table in the middle.

“Normally you aren’t on break at the same time as all of your friends. But, all the trainers may have ‘accidentally’ scheduled break for the same time. Oops,” Brita explained as she sat next to Jackie.

“Hey, gorgeous!” Crystal exclaimed as Gigi sat across from her. “How did it go?”              

“I passed! I talked to a guest and didn’t freeze! You?”

“I got called a bitch by a guest and didn’t cry! I passed, too!”

“Oh my god!” Jan exclaimed. “That’s terrible! Proud of you for handling it so well!”

“Thanks!”

“Jan passed too, of course,” Gigi said. “Did you pass, Nicky?”

Gigi didn’t really know anyone outside of her training group, outside of Crystal, so she was doing her best to make friends. Even though Gigi was a cheerleader and class president in school, she never had a close group of friends, which is something she longed for.

Jackie answered for her. “Nicky was one of the best trainees that I’ve ever had. Not only did she do every position perfectly, but she answered every question that I had.”

“Wow,” Jan said looking at Jackie. “You must be a pretty good trainer.”

Jackie’s face flushed. “Oh, you know. I do my best.”

“Ladies, there’s a tradition that has been upheld since before I started working at this hellhole. After every opening day, there is a huge party in which we all get completely shitfaced to bless the new season. This year, it’s going to be at my place. We close at nine, party starts at 10:30. I know it’s late, but thankfully, the schedulers have mercy on our souls, and if you work the first day of the season, you don’t work the next day,” Heidi explained.

Jan’s face lit up. “I love parties!”

“Me, too!” Jackie spoke a little bit too quickly.

Heidi created a groupchat and sent her address to everyone. Because Heidi was attending the local community college, her apartment was close to the park. Plus, Heidi didn’t have roommates, so they were free to do as they pleased.

“Hey, Gigi could you—”

“I’ll pick you up at 10, Crys.”

The rest of the day, Jaida and Brita’s training group hid in an office talking. There was really no one around to catch them. They had finish the assessments early, so there was nothing else for them to do but sit and talk.

“We have some cute new girls this year. That Nicky, she’s gorgeous. Plus that accent…” Jaida trailed off.

“Are you going to go for her? Do we know if she likes girls?” Brita questioned.

“No, but we will find out tomorrow, won’t we?”

“Are you guys straight?” Gigi was surprised at how blunt Brita was.

“Honestly, I never really thought of it! I’ve dated some boys, and kissed a girl this one time. I think girls are beautiful, like Jackie? She’s gorgeous. So I guess I’m not? I’m not sure. I don’t know what to call myself, ya know? Like I could be bi, I could be pansexual. What’s the difference anyway? Anyway. That’s what’s college is for, right?” Jan laughed at her own joke. “What about you Brita?”

“I–” Brita began.

“She’s straight,” Jaida interrupted. “We all have our flaws. Just like Jackie. Sorry Jan, but that girl is the straightest girl I’ve ever met. Gigi?”

Gigi was hoping that she wouldn’t be asked this question. She’d never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend either. But, one time back in eighth grade, Gigi kissed her best friend at the time, who was a girl. She hadn’t ever felt anything for a boy before, despite being asked out multiple times by football players.  

“Oh, uh. I don’t date.”

“By choice? Or no one’s wanted to hit that?”

Brita clapped. “Jan! The shade!”

Gigi forced a laugh. “I don’t know. The right one hasn’t come along, I guess. Anyway, about this party…”

—

When the day was over, Jan and Gigi made their way to their cars. Jaida, Brita and the other trainers had their own tradition of getting dinner together. If anyone had trainees that failed, they would have to buy everyone’s dinner. But, since everyone passed, it was just dinner.

Once in Gigi’s car Crystal admitted, “I’m kind of nervous for this party!”

“Nervous? Why?”  

“Well, I don’t drink.”

“You don’t have to drink,” Gigi reassured. “Lots of people don’t. I’m not one of them, but I know plenty who don’t.”

“It’s not just that it’s just…”

“What?”

“I’ve never really had a lot of friends, just a few super close ones, and we were never cool to get invited to any parties so…”

“Crystal, I’ve been to a bunch of parties, and they’re fun. If you don’t end up having fun, we can dip. I think it’ll be a great time. You can get ready at my house, if you want.”

Her face lit up. “I’d love that!”

“So how are you feeling about opening day tomorrow?”

“Nervous. Excited. Kind of like I wanna throw up when I think about it? You?”

“Same. My assessment was okay. Nothing bad happened, but still…” Gigi trailed off.

“I feel like things went a little too well today, you know?”

Crystal, someone literally called you a bitch.”

“Well yeah, but it could always be worse right?”

Crystal’s positivity was contagious. “Yeah I guess so!”

–

Just like the night before her first day, Gigi didn’t sleep well. She kept thinking about all the horror stories Jaida and Brita told her. Jaida talked about the time a woman stripped naked in the store to try on a swimsuit. Brita dramatically told the story of when a guest threatened to call the cops because she wouldn’t give her the season pass discount on an expired pass. Gigi really hoped nothing like that would happen, especially not on her first day.

She dragged herself out of bed. Her eyes didn’t look as tired as her first day, so she went with light makeup. As she tightened her belt, she looked into the mirror. She looked ridiculous in her uniform, as did everyone else. Everyone but Crystal. Somehow she looked amazing in the uniform.

Once she pulled into her driveway, she texted Crystal

Hey, I’m outside.

omw!!!!

Crystal got into the car and handed Gigi a cup of coffee.

“Hello, my love! Cream and sugar, just how you like it.“

Gigi took a sip as she turned up the radio. Crystal gasped. “Oh my god, are you listening to One Direction?”

“You may or may not have gotten me hooked.”

Their drove consisted of singing off key and sipping coffee. Gigi kept stealing glances at Crystal. The amount of joy on her face filled Gigi’s heart. After parking, the two girls sat in Gigi’s jeep trying to compose themselves. They both had to walk in different directions, so they weren’t able to calm each other’s nerves.

When they could no longer delay the inevitable, Crystal gave Gigi a hug. “Good luck, beautiful!”

She smelled so good, and her hair was so soft. As she walked the opposite direction to the games base, Gigi couldn’t help but watch her walk away.

Gigi made her way to the stockroom at the main store on The Landing, Isle Mercantile. Jaida, Jan, Brita, and a bunch of people didn’t know were waiting. One of them was an older woman in a plain blue polo and khaki shorts. Jaida explained in training that someone dressed like that was a supervisor.

“Hello!” the woman said. “My name is Nina.”

“Hi!” Gigi said shyly.

“Well everyone, we have first two newbies this year. This is Gigi, and this is Jan. We’ll have more people as the season goes on, but right now, make sure these girls feel welcome. Jan, Gigi, this is Dahlia, Rock, and Aiden. Of course, you already know Brita and Jaida. Jaida, you’re going to be the lead today, okay?”

“Lead?” Gigi whispered.

“I’m in charge of choosing your assignments, making sure you go on breaks, and more importantly, making sure y’all make it back from your breaks.”

“I think that today’s going to be a great day that’s going to lead into a great season. Jan, Gigi, I’m so happy to have you with us. If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to give me a call!”

Jaida sent Gigi to Candy Kitchen, which is exactly what she was dreading, but she wasn’t about to tell Jaida that. Her hair was going to get ruined by the hairnet that she had to wear, and she sucked at cutting apples. She only hoped that the girl, Rock, would be nice.

Once they made it to the store, Rock asked, “What kind of a name is Gigi?”

“What kind of a name is Rock?” Gigi retorted.

He looked taken aback before saying, “Fair.”

The morning went smoothly. Gigi rang up some transactions. She started out slow, but her speed increased as the day went on. She weighed the bulk candy as people purchased it. At times, she forgot where menu buttons were on the POS, but Rock was always there to help. Rock offered for Gigi to work at the caseline to grab apples, but that made Gigi nervous. Rock agreed to pull apples, but made Gigi promise she would do it after lunch. Gigi made good on her promise, putting on gloves and the apron that was hung up.

A stressed out looking came up to Gigi. “Hi, can I get a chocolate peanut apple, an apple pie apple, and one candied apple?”

“Of course! Do you want me to cut the caramel ones?”

“Are you dumb? Of course I do.”

Gigi was taken aback. “Yes, ma’am.”

Gigi set the apples on the counter, and struggled to remove the sticks. She grabbed the blade, and just like in training, struggled to make slices. Cutting through layers of caramel and chocolate was hard. After a while, she managed to make slices. They didn’t look as nice as Rock’s, but they were mostly intact. She put the two cut apples into containers.

“Umm…” the woman trailed off.

“Yes?”

“You didn’t cut the candied one.”

“Oh, we can’t cut those. The candy will just shatter right off.”

“So I’m supposed to break my teeth on this thing? I don’t care if some falls off, I just want it cut into slices.”

“The apple won’t be as good…”

“Well can you do it anyway?”

Gigi looked at Rock, who shrugged.

Gigi unwrapped the candied apple. This time, she really struggled to remove the stick. She was pulling with all of her strength. She felt the candy coating crack. Shit. Well, it’s what the woman wanted. After finally wrangling the stick out, she cut slices. Almost all of the candy fell off. Gigi put the candy on the bottom of the container and the ugly apple slices on top.

“Here you go, ma’am!”

“Are you serious? It looks like shit!”

"I did tell you that if I cut the apple into slices all the coating would fall off, but you told me that it was fine.”

“Well, maybe, if you didn’t have those skinny chicken arms you could have actually done your job! Also! What’s with your attitude? I know that you don’t give a shit about your job, and you’re probably just some lazy teenager who would rather be making out with her boyfriend all summer, but you’re running my vacation! I spent a lot of money to bring my family here! And I can’t even get a damn apple cut right? What’s your name? Georgiana? I want to speak to your manager.” The woman was nearly screaming. Thankfully, there was no one behind her in line.

“I–”

“Yes ma’am, right away, ma’am.” Rock picked up the phone. “Hi, yes, Nina it’s Rock. I’m in Candy Kitchen and I have a guest requesting a manager. Okay. Thank you.”

“Our supervisor will be here shortly.”

The woman got out of the queue and shot Gigi dagger eyes the entire time. She felt like she was about to have a panic attack. Was she going to get written up? It was her first day and she already had her first guest complaint. After what felt like an eternity, Nina arrived.

“Hello!” her tone was pleasant. “What can I do for you today?”

“This girl ruined my apple.”

“That’s not good. Can you explain to me what happened?”

“She went to cut my candied apple and everything fell off. It’s just an apple and some candy on the bottom now.”

“Ma’am, did Gigi tell you that those apples weren’t meant to be cut?”

The woman mumbled she had.

“And you insisted that she do it anyway?”

“She just must have not done it right! Just look at her, she looks so weak! I’m sure if the oriental one did it, she’d do it fine!”

“Ma’am, please don’t refer to my hostess with that offensive term, and don’t insult my other hostess. Those apples aren’t meant to be cut. You were told that, and still insisted on Gigi cutting it, anyway. It sounds like you were the one in the wrong. Not Gigi. I won’t make you pay for that apple, but I am making you apologize to my hostesses here.”

“I’m sorry,” the woman mumbled. She silently paid for her other two apples with Rock and stormed out, muttering something about leaving a bad review as she left.

“Are you okay?” Nina asked sincerely.

Gigi could only manage to shake her head. Her chest was tight and tears were running down her face. Thankfully, it wasn’t a bad panic attack, but it was a panic attack nonetheless.

“I’ll go with you in the small stockroom. Go back there, have a seat. I just need to call and have Dahlia cover. She’s stocking and should be around soon, anyway. Can you handle the shop by yourself Rock?”

“On it.”

The small stockroom was right behind Candy Kitchen. The entire room smelled like sugar, which made Gigi’s stomach turn. She tried to level her breathing as she sat on the ground.

Nina sat with her and handed her a water bottle. “Hey, listen to me. It’s okay. You weren’t wrong at all. That woman was completely unreasonable.”

“Am I in trouble?” Gigi managed taking a drink of water.

“Why would you be in trouble, when nothing you did was your fault? You are fine. Take as much time as you need.”

Gigi nodded. “Thank you.”

“I mean it. If you ever need anything, call.”

—

Across the park, Crystal was also having a panic attack as she sat in the money room in the games department. A middle aged man kept losing at one of the games. He offered to pay her for a prize, and when she refused, the man lost it. He screamed every bad word and insult that he could muster, right in front of his young daughter. He also threatened to “punch her pretty little face in.”  It was to the point that other guests told him to stop, and security was called. The lead, a boy named Ben, covered for her.

Brooke, a pretty blonde supervisor made her way into the money room. She didn’t say anything, but hugged Crystal, which made her break down. Brooke kindly rubbed Crystal’s red hair.

“That man has been banned from ever coming back.”

“Are there a lot of people like him?”

“Not that bad, sweetie. That was one of the worst ones I’ve seen in my six years here. I’m so sorry that it happened to you, especially on your first day. I promise that it’s usually better. You get to make people’s days. You get to make first dates memorable. You get to make little kids happy. Don’t let a couple of bad people ruin this for you.”

Crystal smiled. “Thank you.”

Brooke sat with Crystal until she calmed down.

“Here, let me fix you.” Brooke wiped all of the eyeliner and mascara that had ran down Crystal’s face with a Kleenex.

Thankfully, there was only about half an hour left of her shift, so Brooke let her hang out in the back.

Brooke’s radio went off. Before taking the call, she asked, “Are you going to be okay, sweetie?”

“Yeah, I will. Thank you.”

Brooke winked. “Anytime.”

–

Gigi met up with Crystal at the lockers and groaned.

“Bad day?” Crystal asked grabbing her bag.

Gigi nodded. On the way to her car, Gigi told Crystal the tale of the candied apple. Crystal looked mortified.

“I’m so sorry that happened to you!”

“I hope your day was better,” Gigi said adjusting her rearview mirror.

“Not… exactly. A grown man threatened to punch me in the face while calling me bad words, some of them I’ve never even heard before.”

“Oh shit Crys,” Gigi said looking at her friend. “I’m so sorry. That makes my story sound like nothing!”

“Gigi, no it’s okay! We both had crappy days, it doesn’t matter which was worse. They were both bad to us, and they’re both over now.”

This made Gigi smile. “Crystal, how are you always so positive?”

“Honestly? I used to not be. But one day I realized that being negative was tiring, so I decided to try to be as positive as possible. Oh, and Gigi?”

“Yes?”

“You know how I said I don’t drink?”

“Yeah.”

“I think after the day I had, I think tonight’s a great night to start.”

“Agreed.”

TAGS: Gigi goode, Crystal methyd, jan sport, jackie cox, jaida essence hall, nicky doll, brita filter, crygi, jankie, jaida x nicky, lesbian au, stupid for you, metaluna

[guardiantempest]

Learning With Manga: Riyo’s Udon Servants

Y’know, for a gag manga, Riyo has put in a lot of thought obscuring his Servant’s identities and giving out only hints throughout the comic’s run. The first three Servants (Rider, Assassin and Berserker) had their biographies spelled out in the print bookbut not their actual names (not that it’s needed, the hints were big enough).

I’m saying Udon Servants because they were apparently made by mixing Udon dough with Grail mud.

Due to the ridiculous amount of images, I’ve added a cut.

EDIT: I posted this without the cut. Oops. EDIT 2: Changed some wordings

Rider

Okay, pastel-colored bunnygirl. No specific identity tied to a rabbit (that I know of) so her appearance is a red herring. Could be anyone at this point.

Passion for filmmaking. There are a lot of influential movie people throughout history from old to new. At least the set equipment implies a director.

Severe hatred of Thomas Edison? Well, I guess that narrows it down to more old-timey directors. Back in his time he screwed over a lot of people, including many foreign filmmakers by plagiarizing their works.

A Trip to the Moon? There’s only one director who has that in his repertoire and that is Georges Méliès. That probably explains her outfit as a the rather-tangential nod to moon rabbits. Her Noble Phantasm is apparently a loooot of her film reels...made out of very volatile nitrate (which destroys Chaldea in the process). She also references older films like Purple Noon when chatting with Olga.

Assassin

Okay, woman with a gun, presumably with lingerie? Perhaps she’s a secret agent, or a modernized take on those assassin seductresses. Throughout the comic she’s shown to be adept with information gathering.

Definitely affiliated with spycraft. I don’t know any woman involved in such line of work (the one female secret agent I know is Nancy Wake, who isn’t). However this is Fate and genderswaps can be a thing. That O&C provides a pretty big hint to her identity. According to Google, it can stand for “Official and Confidential” affiliated with the one and only J. Edgar Hoover. Y’know, now that her identity is revealed in that tweet above, the comic’s art style makes it vague whether she’s really a genderswap or just crossdressing. Yes, the FBI did have a brief history of crossdressing to catch perps. Too bad her Noble Phantasm is practically useless to those who don’t care about keeping secrets.

It’s kinda funny how Riyo gives all his Servants personality quirks, like Melies’ seething hatred to Edison and occasional lapses to violent solutions. I guess this quirk is meant to be more “gap moe”, kinda like that Yakuza househusband? It’s really endearing. Still, I think Olga scored a keeper. In a standard Grail War she can be pretty useful if deployed correctly (and maybe easier to work with than Mata Hari).

I like her suit, I hope it’s one of her ascensions.

Berserker

Woah, she big. There are a lot of significant giants in mythology, and her modernized appearance provides less hints than expected. She ate Nursery Rhyme several pages later and becomes a mainstay in the Children’s Kingdom.

Keep in mind this is before All the Statesmen event on JP, but that blue ox(?) is a clear indicator to who she is: Paul Bunyan, North American folklore figure. This doesn’t come off as a surprise to us since we already had said event spelling it out for us. Unlike her murderous portrayal in the comic though, in-game she’s a total sweetheart who just wants to help...by terraforming any wild terrain in the name of civilization.

Lancer

We first see Lancer impaling Gudako in a comic. The folks in the livestream joked that she’s genderswapped Van Helsing. It seems to make sense, showing that spike. But they clarified that it was a joke so that’s out of the window.

Something of value? She’s referring to fossils. What about the lightning? It’s a reference to her real life counterpart who survived a lightning strike. That’s right, this woman is Mary Anning! A servant who’s not a genderbend this time!

Totally a raging lesbian. I’m not sure if that’s historical, a reference to a recent biopic, or merely a personality quirk. Maybe it’s an extrapolation to her network of women. One of her skills (Sea Lily Charisma) does let her attract women to help her out. Her canine companion is very cute, at least.

She does have a point. As a Lancer she wields giant prehistoric fish. From the speculation I saw on Reddit, I think it might be a reference to a manga/doujin of her being a mage and can summon living counterparts of her fossil. Her Noble Phantasm wasn’t showed because she got tag-teamed by two Sabers before she got to use it.

Archer

A cowgirl! There are quite a few notable wild west legends like Billy the Kid. This one looks like she has animal ears, or just really weird hair. Using a rope and lasso is indicative of “generic cowgirl”, for a Heroic Spirit to wield it means she must be known for using it.

Coyotes, huh? That pretty confirms it: this cowgirl Archer is Pecos Bill, raised by coyotes and most famous for lassoing a tornado (then riding it). According to the print book, one of her personal skills is Rodeo, which allows her to ride something and not fall off (but it’s in no way similar to the Riding skill). Yeah, being raised by coyotes pretty much translates to coyote animal ears...and feral instincts.

I remember reading on Reddit that one of Bill’s feats is shooting down stars, so that might be why she’s an Archer. Riyo sure is drawing from a lot of western influences.

Saber

Well this is a curveball. The very distinct attire should narrow it down though I don’t know which culture seems most appropriate. While there are more than a few pregnant women in mythologies, the comic clarifies that the real Servant is the unborn baby and the mother is just tagging along.

Well, that’s certainly something. I remember reading somewhere that back in the old ages, saunas are used instead of hospitals for childbirth in snowy regions of Europe. The unborn Servant has a Courtship skill that causes him to hit on almost every female he comes across.

There are a lot of guesses for his identity, one of which is Väinämöinen. A demigod who spent a very long time in the womb, can speak while in there, and was born an old man. The evidence feels shaky and debate rages on.

Caster

Jesus Christ, Jeanne, what are you doing?! I just added this page because it’s hilarious.

Mouse maids! A miracle that they survived getting chopped up into bits! It’s rather vague on who they are, guesses include the Rolling Riceball (which is just Benienma’s story) and Ratatouille, funnily enough. Most of their appearances so far is just pandering for Gudako (giving Onigiri, enabling the WiFi, providing Dakimakuras) as an effect of one of their Personal Skills (Servitude).

Their profile says that this isn’t their true form (maybe as a consequence of getting turned to noodles). Their Territory Creation should allow them to make a dreamland and provide anything, but for now all they can make is a good-enough kitchen and onigiri.

Another Personal Skill is Reproduction, which allows them to rapidly increase their numbers when left alone. Nonstop. This can get out of hand fast. People in the comment section were speculating various rat-related myths, primarily ones with a swarm theme.

Although it seems the rats are up to something.

Well that’s terrifying. A guy on Reddit assumed that the mice is connected to Raigo, the accursed monk. I thought it was a very dark take on a folklore/fairy tale, something about mice fattening up someone to eat them.

Okay, the mallet and the sack is definitely a clue. Apparently that represents Daikokuten, who is frequently portrayed with mice near him. I understand what they were trying to do. All this time they were trying to build up for their true power. A god of good fortune and/or prosperity is not to be messed with, especially if he’s currently incarnating RIyo Gudako as a pseudo-servant.

I think their Modus Operandi is pretty horrifying, yet also makes sense. A Master cannot simply summon a god under normal circumstances but summoning its herald(s) who, in turn, will make way for their patron deity seems totally fair.

[fandom-smut-shots]

Hi!! May I request hcs for how Kuroo Kageyama and Oikawa would react to seeing his S/O after a week of not seeing her and she’s all bruised up but not because she got beat up or anything it’s because she wanted to learn how to play volleyball for him and it didn’t turn out too well thank you 💕💕

Rules YES A HEADCANON REQUEST! I’m so stoked. Thank you so much! I hope you like it!

These were way longer than I expected oop-

Kuroo Tetsurou

~ Beefcake may not be needy but dammit he misses his babygirl.

~ During the week he’d text you regularly, hoping and praying that he’ll get to see you but not wanting to push it.

~ He finally gets you to agree to a simple lunch date during the weekend.

~ He might cry he’s so excited.

~ He waits at your favorite park, bento boxes in hand, along with a bag full of your favorite snacks.

~ He hears you calling his name.

~ Turns to meet your gaze, his lips stretched into a big dorky grin.

~ You know the one.

~ Then he sees your face. Littered with bruises. And your shoulders, and your arms.

~ His smile falls.

~ He nearly drops lunch.

~ excUSE YOU WHO ALLOWED HIS BABYGIRL TO GET INJURED?

~ He’s frozen in shock as you approach, but as soon as you’re close, he drops the food to wrap his arms around you.

~ “What happened to you, babe?!”

~ “Who do I gotta kill! I’ll spike a ball directly into their face!”

~ You gotta calm your mans down.

~ “Tetsu, it’s okay,” you insist, resting a noticeably calloused hand on his annoyingly high cheek.

~ Uhm, no, it’s not, because the love of his life is bruised and therefore injured excuse you-

~ “What happened?” His voice is soft. Beefcake is scared.

~ You smile. That does not lessen his concern.

~ “I tagged along to the girls’ volleyball practice.”

~ I’m sorry what.

~ Did Tetsurou hear you correctly?

~ “I wanted to learn volleyball, since you’re so passionate about it.”

~ Beefcake has MELTED.

~ “Turns out you’re the only athlete in this relationship. I totally suck.”

~ Cue Kuroo’s infectious, adorably annoying hyena laugh.

~ “Aw, babe. I can’t believe you tried to learn volleyball.”

~ You walk into the park, food in hand, and sit down at a bench.

~ “Why didn’t you just as me to teach you?”

~ You roll your eyes.

~ “Then it wouldn’t have been a surprise, duh.”

Kageyama Tobio

~ King isn’t needy, nor does he show his emotions.

~ To anyone but you.

~ You know that not spending time together is killing him.

~ But, you know, he’s totally fine.

~ He’s back to screaming at Hinata, but he’s fine.

~ He’s pouty and broody like a walking storm cloud, but he’s fine.

~ He misses his babe, okay? 

~ There, he said it. 

~ Now cuddle him, dammit.

~ You finally agree to meet up.

~ Baby boy absolutely did not scream during practice when he got your text.

~ Please contact Suga or Daichi for the truth confirmation.

~ You plan to meet him after practice.

~ Like way after practice, when everyone else has gone home and it’s just Kags.

~ He stands outside the gym, shifting his weight in a totally relaxed and not-at-all-anxious manner.

~ You come shuffling up the walk, and he scans the area like a spy before all but launching himself at you.

~ Baby boy missed you.

~ He pulls back to give you a kiss, but stops halfway.

~ You try to lean in before realizing that his midnight eyes are glued to your face.

~ “Tobio-”

~ “Who did this to you?”

~ His tone is dark. 

~ King is mad.

~ Gulp.

~ “Tobio, it’s not like that.”

~ “Not like what? Not like you got in a fight? Not like some scumbag tried to hurt my girlfriend?!”

~ Roll your eyes. Kags is such a drama queen.

~ “Tobio, listen to me.”

~ He’s staring at every bruise.

~ You take his hands. Ground his attention. Get lost in those pretty blue- no, dammit, focus.

~ “I was trying to learn how to play volleyball.”

~ Blink.

~ “I started playing with some neighborhood kids at the park.”

~ Blink.

~ “But as you can see, I suck at it, and I just kept taking a ball to the face.”

~ Blink.

~ “Tobio... say something.”

~ “You... tried to learn volleyball? For me?”

~ “No, for Hinata.” You snort. “Of course for you, dummy.”

~ He wraps you in a hug. 

~ Hugs too tight. Oops. You have bruises that he can’t see, too.

~ You wriggle out of his grasp. “Walk me home?”

~ He nods. “Are you hurt?”

~ Take his hand. Lace your fingers.

~ “Just sore.”

~ Bitch that’s a LIE.

~ Well, being sore is true. 

~ But everything HURTS.

~ Like godDAMN was the volleyball made of bricks?

~ “Liar.”

~ Didn’t think you’d get away with that one, did ya?

Oikawa Tooru

~ Listen.

~ His name is Whinykawa for a reason.

~ Also Needykawa.

~ And sometimes Babykawa.

~ He’s emotional okay?

~ So imagine how emotional this bitch is when he doesn’t get to see his sweetheart for a week.

~ Iwazumi is about to track you down and drag your ass to watch their practice just so Oikawa will shut the fuck up and work.

~ He’s also about to smack Oikawa upside his face but that’s not new.

~ Needykawa isn’t patient or understanding like Kuroo or Kageyama.

~ Needykawa is n e e d y.

~ So he shows up at your house after he’s released from practice.

~ Hella early cuz he refused to focus and Iwaizumi was about to drop kick him all the way to your house.

~ You open the door, completely surprised to find your boyfriend on the other side, wearing his signature pout and puppy eyes.

~ You step aside to let him in, but before you can move, he gasps.

~ Like loud and dramatically. Drama teachers would applaud.

~ You wince. He’s seen the bruises.

~ Fuck.

~ “Tooru-”

~ “IS THAT WHY YOU’VE BEEN AVOIDING ME? WHO HURT MY PRECIOUS LITTLE HONEYBUN?”

~ “Tooru, listen-”

~ “I TOLD Iwa-chan that something was wrong! I TOLD him my babycakes wouldn’t just stop visiting me for no reason!”

~ Okay, situation at hand first.

~ Questionable pet names later.

~ “Tooru!”

~ Take his face in your hands. Whinykawa will continue to sniffle and whimper about his gumdrop being marred.

~ Shove a fucking candy in his mouth jesus fuck-

~ “Tooru, baby... I’m fine. I got these bruises playing volleyball.”

~ He exhales.

~ “Oh, why didn’t you tell me it was so simple? It all makes sense no- VOLLEYBALL?”

~ Was his voice always able to go that high?

~ “Yes, Tooru.”

~ “You don’t play volleyball, sugar lips.”

~ “Yeah, and now I know why. I’m awful. I think the volleyball was actually playing me.”

~ You make him sit on the couch. 

~ He pulls you onto his lap.

~ “You hate sports. Why would you want to play?”

~ oop, you blush.

~ “Because it’s your favorite thing, and I wanted to share it with you instead of not understanding anything you say.”

~ Boy.

~ Oh.

~ Boy.

~ You just made Babykawa’s fucking year.

~ His last girlfriend left him because he loved volleyball so much.

~ But you wanted to learn? How to play? To bond with him?

~ Kiss attack.

~ Wiggle all you want. You ain’t getting away.

~ Not that you really tried.

~ You missed him just as much.

I hope you like them! I actually had SO much fun with Oikawa’s. I used to suck at writing headcanons so hopefully I’ve improved. Length has definitely improved.

Requests are open!

Rules and fandoms here~

Character list here~

Masterlist~

[dimpledpran]

me beginning to read ur response; are we the same person? lol completely feel the homebody/fic reading/picky eater, that sounds like a nice time tbh hehe...ahh yes that's good, im the same way i will listen to a bit of everything! but oh i used to love 1D, and ed sheeran is p good too, honestly i only ever heard his first two albums lmao then the next one i kinda didn't vibe too much w it lmao oops. LITTLE MIX THEY ARE MY ABSOLUTE FAVE! god, did u see the jesy news? how we holdin up? (1/?)

oh that is so exciting! what kind of dancing? (continues to read and realizes u answered this as u went lmao srry) oof i admire anyone that has rhythm in their bones cause lord knows i can't dance to save my life lmao but wow wow ok that sounds really really cool! i hope u can go back to dancing&such if u really enjoy it! sounds really cool tbh SINGING IS ALWAYS GREAT NO MATTER THE TALENT YOLO lmao don't let anyone stop u from ever singing lol. sounds like uve done some good ol tv watching (2/?)

oh man ice cream is well deserved and received on any day good or bad but ahhh yes pls a good ol fic can always be a good mood lift :')) i love this we've got quite a few shared interests and such its p cool considering we are the same age!! well im 26 still but i turn 27 in feb lol so but skdlfjs seems like u really loveeee food that is great! and aww the mom food comment, ok same here. u have really good taste in food! u know ive never had indian food! i wanna try some! (3/?)

i can't seem to find any other asks we have shared? i could have sworn i had sent a couple other ones? and u answered? i sha;; go thrpugh your blog since its not in the tag ok! don't wanna leave something un-replied too heh (4??/?) << i think

found it! i knew it! us 'adults' have such busy schedules huh lol i hope you've been resting better these days and not staying up TOO late lol do let me know when ur ss thing happens! wanna hear all abt it heh but anyways lovely i hope ur doing well! taking care of urself and having a nice time! stay safe and i will be back soon!!(5/5)

Hiya love! I shall once again leave my response below the cut. :)

Hahah yay! Glad to know I am not alone in that! 🙈

Used to listen to 1D? Not anymore? I’m offended on their behalf. Just joking. Who are your fave artists?Ed’s first two albums are amazing, the recent one is more pop, but there are a few beautiful songs! YESS! OMG LM ARE SO UNDERRATED AND IT IS DEPRESSING! yeah, I saw the news. I am upset, but I also really am happy that she finally can focus on herself. The industry is too messed up and I hope she gets to where she wants to be mentally and emotionally. She really deserves the best! How are you coping with that?

I have a friend who has no sense of rhythm, is stiff as a rock. We ended up being partners when we learnt Salsa in school, and she chose to be the “lead” and i was to follow her. It was not an easy ride, but in the end we got a B for the exam. So i believe that if she can get a B, anyone can dance! Just gotta keep trying! 💪 HAHAHAH IKR! it is always fun to just belt out and have bathroom concerts! My neighbours should be honoured to listen to me! 😂😂Hahah yeah. the TV watching is what lead me to creating this blog, so no complaints. 

Awww that’s so cool! We are of similar age and have so much in common! Yeah, I am a bit of a paradox. Like I am very picky with food, but I also really love food. haha.  Yess! Mum food is always the best! OMG you should try Indian food!! It depends on if you like more sweet or spicy or sour stuff, but there is pretty much something for everyone in Indian cuisine! Where are you from btw? I dont think I asked this before. (I am sorry if i alr did, and this is a repeat qn)

Oh god! I am so sorry!! I didnt realise that I misspelt the tag, so it was mzdsnetcc instead of mdzsnetcc.. I am sorry that you had to scroll through and find it. But I have rectified it, and I will make sure i spell it correctly henceforth. 

Definitely have been resting better! Thank you! Yeah, working life is more hectic, but i honestly will take this over schooling again. I am so glad to be done with studying. My office SS is finally happening tmr! I can tell you about it next time on how it goes! Thank you for your lovely message! I hope you are having a great week! I believe you have tmr off, so I hope you enjoy your break! Hope you get to do something fun! Take care and stay safe! 🥰🥰

[imadethiswhileonzoom]

Tag Guide

😗 So this is the tags I use. Hope they’re not too confusing lmao

the pretty self explanatory ones:

😗 #art seems pretty self explanatory BUT it’s basically if a post includes art. and i honestly mean any type of art

😗 #unrelated is really just any post that i cant seem to put in any type of category honestly. whether it’s a shitpost or something random

😗 #gif set also pretty self explanatory. it’s any post including a gif set. which in my definition is 2 or more gifs

😗 #cosplay dont think i have much under this tag but it exists so. it’s just anything cosplay (not mine tho)

😗 #lgbt+ shit is a tag for anything lgbt+ related

😗 #math literally just how much i hate math lmao

😗 #take care of yourself is basically me saying this to you. has posts about menatl health and self care

😗 #lil tips is just that. little tips to help you and me

😗 #blm always have always will honey i shouldn’t have to explain that one

tags you might want to blacklist/filter:

blacklisting/filtering is when you specify a specific tag on tumblr so that you can't see posts tagged as such. a basic way to prevent content that you don't like or might trigger you

😗 #r*wling she has probably hurt a lot of people including me. so if you don’t want to see any posts pertaining to her. please blacklist this tag.

😗 #tr*mp honey i’m very anti-tr*mp and i understand if his name might be triggering. if you don’t want to see any posts pertaining to him. please blacklist this tag

😗  i might also have a tag for c*vid and so, please look out for any tags such as #c*vid bc i honestly dont know if i’ve ever tagged it

😗 #politics anything political should be on this tag.

😗 #one note a day post (these are posts are where someone has agreed to a compromise where for each note the post gets is equal to one more day they go without s*lf h*rm or one more day they don’t commit s***ide) these types of posts can be extremely triggering. so if you don’t want to see posts pertaining to this, please blacklist this tag.

😗 additionally! i have started putting the actual trigger with a tw in front of it so if you already have a specific trigger than don't worry. of course i won't have everything covered so:

if you want something to be tagged please tell me. if a post should BE tagged but isn't please tell me 

fandom tags! this is very long btw

😗 side note: So with ships I tend to just flat out put the ship name regardless of how I tage the individual characters. Ex. #Wrightworth and #Lumity

😗 #among us this are posts about a game that i am utterly in love with.

😗 #mcyt which stands for minecraft youtube! i also will put the content creator's name UNLESS there are too many. i also have #dream smp for purely dream smp related content

😗 #ducktales darling i love this show

😗 #unus annus memento mori

😗 #bnha this is also any post involving my hero academia/ boku no hero academia content (when it comes to the individual characters i usually tag them like this: #bnha midoriya. i’ll put bnha and then their last name.)

😗 #spy kids literally only one post about it lol

😗 #otgw is basically about the show over the garden wall. 

😗 #the witcher anything about this it honestly

😗 #the owl house is everything pertaining to the show. how i tag the characters are tricky so just look through the tag i guess and figure it out bc i’m unorganized

😗 #marvel this is EVERYTHING involving marvel. comics, fancontent, movies, etc. [when it comes to individual characters i’ll put in their FULL name like this: #tony stark. (though, loki and thor are COMPLETE exceptions as their tags are #loki and #thor)] oops and i just saw but i have black widow under #black widow along with black panther being tagged as #black panther. also #spider man is a tag

😗 #dc again this is EVERYTHING involving dc. comics, fancontent, movies, etc. (i dont really tag individual characters so i’ll just put #batman or something vague. but manily i just tag it as dc and that’s it lol)

😗 #mcu now this gets into specifics as this is ONLY content pertaining to canon mcu (marvel cinematic universe). (again,  [when it comes to individual characters i’ll put in their FULL name like this: #tony stark. (though, loki and thor are COMPLETE exceptions as their tags are #loki and #thor)] 

😗 #hp is anything hp related. (for individual characters i just put their full name like #hermione granger or #harry potter)

😗 #the onceler sadly this tag DOES exist but i promise there isn’t much there. so yeah the oncler from the lorax is an actual tag on this blog. sadly.

😗 #ace attorney so these are posts that is central to the videogame series ace attorney. (so with individual characters i’ll do it like so: #aa miles edgeworth. so i’ll just put the initials of ace attorney and then the character’s full name)

😗 #musical these are ANY posts pertaining to ANYTHING musical related. (how i tag specific musicals is pretty forward: #dear evan hansen, #hadestown)

😗 #she ra literally anything she ra related. sorry i’m tired of typing this ALL out lmao

😗 #undertale don’t have much under this tag but it’s still there. basically anything about this iconic game

😗 #moana and #mulan are independent and as i look back on it i probably should’ve just tagged them all as disney but i didnt and i’m lazy. if i ever end up tagging it correctly i’ll definitely update this.

😗 #picrew not exactly a fandom but thought i’d include it

😗 #puppet history this is a series from the channel the watcher which should also be a tag i think. anyways this is just anything about puppet history

😗 #tdp is any post about the netflix show the dragon prince (which i love and adore) just like dc i probably wont tag individual characters ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

😗 #atla is avatar: the last airbender content. (individual characters are done such as: #atls zuko. i’ll put atla and then their first name.)

😗 #voltron bruh i’m not even in this fandom anymore (still love the show tho) but yea theres that. i probably also won’t tag individual characters.