#I’m choosing to believe it’s because they’re cishet

[bundlebrent]

I wish everyone that I’ve mentioned being nervous about telling my parents I want top surgery tonight hasn’t gone like Oh it’ll be fine like sure probably it will but that doesn’t make my anxiety go away and instead of just saying that immediately and writing off the conversation they could listen to my specific anxieties

[tiktaalic]

catching fire dash simulator

finnicksgirl Follow

my streams have been cutting all season omfg what is going on

caps4finnick Follow

cinnagirl3000 Follow

anybody heard from cinna lately?

plutarcheology Follow

Plutarch Heavensbee circa 2282

revolutionarykatniss

As if it’s not ENOUGH that yall wanna fuck the most morally bankrupt man alive who is more than complicit because he gets paid to live in luxury to ORCHESTRATE the deaths of innocents so that they’re a spectacle and don’t have the option to die even semi peacefully. as if that’s not enough. You wanna fuck him when he’s ugly?

caesarflickerwoman Follow

anyone else still thinking about how caesar and peeta were kinda ..

czrflckmn

Aren’t you the one who had the week long meltdown about peeta being overfamiliar with him

caesarflickerwoman

Well you see I’m gay and a man now

theeclove Follow

already tired of this fucking season of everlark -_- idgaf about the fucking fog

siblingvictors

DISTRICT ONE GONNA SEND THEM A CANCELLATION NOTICE!! #CASHMEREGLOSS4EVER

czrflkmn Follow

everyone looooooves to act like NOTABLE cishet peeta is so gay w caesar as if his gay cohost isn't right there.... slaying in a wig..... sending yearning glances caesar's way right before the camera cuts......

johannadykeson Follow

tbh she’s got the WORST taste in allies idek why i continue to stan. girl MAGS?

#my girl going to get slorn :/

katnissgirlsmakedo

She is choosing with her HEART she chose to save peeta in the games REMEMBERRRRRRRR she’s literally a lovergirl to the core

#lovecore #heartcore #truelove

lucygraydotcom Follow

Caesar flickerman kidn if a laughing gnome. Reblog

finnickforever Follow

I’ve supported finnick through a lot and defended them and I’ve always been proud they're from my district but honestly they went way too far by doing the salute during the interview. I can only hope that they just got caught up in the moment with everyone else doing it and obviously it’s a stressful situation but I don’t think I can continue endorsing them. I’ll be changing my url this week.

divorceekatniss Follow

hey guys i know times are tough for everyone and the capital has really cracked down but my mutual @divorceepeeta got flogged the other day and could really use some help. v3nmo here. anything helps #signalboost #mockingjay

disabledmags Follow

Tbh the baby is the saddest thing I've ever heard </3

peetaspride

Another citizen falling for capital propaganda. It's so glaringly apparent that this is made up to draw in views. The tributes undergo extensive medical examination prior to the games. They would NEVER let a pregnant woman compete.

disabledmags

As if killing children has ever stopped them before?

#We all saw him fall to protect her stomach before they even started the victory tour #Is it that ridiculous to believe two newlyweds fresh out of a life or death situation would celebrate a little carelessly?

peetaspride

If you think even the marriage is real you're stupider than I thought. Peeta spends every interview begging us to see his truth. The capital is shamelessly silencing him and "the baby" is a distraction.

peetasbabymama Follow

URL CHANGE!! faggotpeeta->peetasbabymama

cupcakeeverlark

this isnt funny. peeta's a real person with real feelings. it will never be funny to call someone a f***** as a joke. how would you feel if my url was f*****peetasbabymama?

peetasbabymama

ok

district420

isnt cupcakeeverlark literally prez snow's 12 yr old granddaughter lol

tendinghiswounds

OOMF IS 12???????????

everlarklovechild

the age is the problem here?

marriedeverlark Follow

Canon url 🎉🎊💅😁🥰♥️

beeteemp3 Follow

New content of my favorite tribute 😁😁😁

3ffietrinket

Girl there’s a 96% chance they die ?

peenick Follow

getting reports from the presidential banquet that Peeta looks gay as fuck

3v3rlark Follow

ik peeniss has been flagging w the rehearsed speeches but did anyone else see the way they looked at each other in the censored district 11 speech

rues-song

you’re STUPID she’s a capital pawn AND i fucked your mom while you were busy looking for illegal streams

senecacraneofficial Follow

rip seneca you were so babygirl </3

plutarchbaby69

so now you think we can’t fuck old men?

#this fandom is so ageist #this is prob what I get for blogging about thg tbh since # it’s literally about kids. Some of you ppl need to grow up

[faisdm]

So I saw Glass Onion yesterday, and then I was shown the Ben Shapiro tweets about it, and the way he misses the theme of the movie by thinking it’s about Elon Musk specifically is so funny to me.

I’m gonna have to cut here for spoilers (and length, oops), but...

Musk’s spectacular failure and metaphorically burning down all his own fortune by turning out to not be all that smart after all perfectly coinciding with the release of the movie is pure serendipity. Rian Johnson could not possibly have known it would happen with such timing.

Because the movie isn’t about Musk specifically, it’s about people like Musk. It just happened that by beautiful fate, an example happened very publicly in real life just when the movie came out. Hell, you could say the shitshow going on with FTX is the same thing. People have been saying “these guys are absolute fools” for ages, but there was always this denial like “no, but... they *must be smart* because look at all the money they have and they keep saying all these clever words and saying stuff about computers. Only a smart person could make special digital money with lots of smart words and make lots of money off it!” even though... we’ve been saying “guys, it’s just a ponzi scheme. It’s a ponzi scheme. Oh my god, it’s just a ponzi scheme with fancy computer words around it! They’re just doing really basic fraud with a veneer of cleverness!”

Because the unifying theme of both Knives Out movies is that rich people, no matter what they claim about deserving their fortune for being smarter, more hard-working, more daring than other people... are usually no smarter than anyone else. In fact, especially rich people who talk about how clever they are, they’re usually just cruel and opportunistic; they just do things other people wouldn’t even think of doing, never mind do, because most people aren’t that nasty or selfish, and then let other people fill in the space with “well, they must be really clever because they can’t have just done that asshole thing. It wouldn’t make sense.”

I love that there’s even a line in this movie, specifically pointing out that speaking without thinking isn’t necessarily more true or clever or anything. The “disruptors/shitheads” in this movie are all people who believe that their ability to just do things without hesitating makes them superior and special; even in the face of all the evidence that they only have any of their success because they have a benefactor to bail them out. It’s brilliant. Just like with real life serial killers; they’re not geniuses who don’t get caught due to being clever masterminds and leading the detectives on a daring chase; they’re brutal, nasty opportunists, who take advantage of a system that’s biased against marginalised people while always respecting the ideas and cleverness of even a mediocre cishet white man, allowing them to kill somebody, not be seen as suspicious even when acting blatantly suspicious, and benefit from a slow response and unwillingness to trust testimony from the victim’s friends and families over his word.

The villain in this one confounds Benoit Blanc by setting up the appearance of being a mastermind. Benoit goes in with the assumption he’s dealing with a clever mastermind and jumps through all the hoops, treating the layers of artifice as if they have actual substance... and then ultimately the murderer is brought down by the person who, on receiving a puzzle box, smashed it with a hammer. Because he’s not a mastermind; he’s somebody who surrounds himself in layers of apparent cleverness with no real substance to them; the cleverness only really exists if you choose to buy into it. Fans of Musk and other “Crypto geniuses” see all these layers of tech words and the vestiges of cleverness and take them as signs they’re looking at a clever individual, even when the truth that the person is actually an utter fool is staring them in the face.

So yeah, it was a good movie and I liked it.

[arielleej]

Why I’m crying over Bumbleby

I was originally thinking about doing this on Twitter but after spending several hours browsing both it and Tumblr I came to the conclusion that Tumblr is just better for long-form content. Plus a huge number of the RWBY content creators (be they artists, fanfiction authors, or otherwise) that I follow or whose work I consume are here anyway, so I figure they must know something I don’t.

Anyway I wanted to talk about why I was so emotionally affected by Bumbleby finally getting their moment, and why as a member of the single most over-represented demographic in “western” media (i.e. a Caucasian cishet male) that I found it mattering to me.

For most of my life I’ve been bombarded by cishet romances in media. And like, that’s fine, but they start to lose any kind of meaning if they’re in literally everything you consume. I think the last one that I really felt emotionally connected to was Yennefer and Geralt in Witcher 3. Coming into that game with no prior experience left me with no biases towards any of the potential love interests, and their journey to reconciliation while trying to find their missing kid was something I found truly special.

Other than that one, most of the relationships I really felt connected to in media I’ve consumed have been gay. I think - and I have no idea if I’m right about this or not - that the reason for this is gay romances have to try so much harder to be valid and real than straight ones do. The lengths the characters go through to show how much they care for each other is just mesmerizing.

That’s the kind of love I want to have in my own life.

The first example of this to me was Femshep/Liara in Mass Effect. When I finished Mass 3 for the first time I was a depressed, sobbing, mess. I spent almost an entire weekend in my bed crying. I recognize that a lot of the lines Shepard uses are similar no matter what relationship you choose to pursue, but something about Jennifer Hale and Ali Hillis’ line delivery was incredible. I suspect that no small part of my attachment was a result of Liara being the only character you can have a relationship with spanning all three games.

A more recent example was Bill and Frank from The Last of Us on HBO. We were only given one episode (a long one, granted) but was enough to get me hook, line, and sinker. Doing domestic shit like secretly planting strawberries as a surprise gift, or establishing a trade network through some friends made on the radio (or online, to use a current day analogue) is what I live for. As for the ending, I would’ve done exactly the same in Bill’s place. 

Which brings us back to Blake and Yang.

I’ll be the first to admit that it took me until V6 to figure it out. Specifically it took Arryn Troche (https://twitter.com/dontyoudarryn) pointing out in their V6 reactions that the interactions between Blake and Yang are clearly romantic in nature. Specifically the scene where Yang is dropping Blake off to go sabotage the radar tower, and Yang says “Go” in the softest voice fucking imaginable. After that point, it all made sense.

Yang trying her hardest to coax Blake out from behind the anti-social defenses she had built up in V1/V2. Yang being the one to knock Blake out of her self-destructive spiral in V2. How heartbroken Yang was when Blake didn’t believe her story about the match with Mercury. Yang stepping in to protect Blake from Adam without a moment’s hesitation.

And then in V4 (and subsequently the comics) Yang is utterly heartbroken because this girl that she felt something for - even if it’s clear she didn’t know what it was exactly - just vanished after the most traumatic event of her life. Again it wasn’t until after V6 that I realized “A part of me is gone and it’s never coming back” was not only talking about her arm, but also the fact that Blake took her heart when she ran.

It’s pretty clear from the comics and V4/V5 that Blake realized what Yang meant to her while she was in Menagerie. But Yang wasn’t there and in order to get back to Yang to fight for her again, she first needed to fight for herself and what she believed in. She fights to win her parent’s love again (easy), she fights to convince the people to help her stop Adam (medium), and she fights to redeem one of her oldest and closest friends (hard). Only then is she able to take on the most difficult challenge in V6 - fighting for her future with Yang.

By the time we get to V7/8 it’s pretty clear that Blake knows how Yang feels about her, even if Yang doesn’t understand it herself. She laughs at every stupid joke Yang makes, makes a fool of herself dancing just so she can spend time with her, and spends time putting on makeup - all to try and coax Yang into giving a voice to their feelings. Honestly one of their best scenes is in V7 discussing how to talk to Robyn. They initially disagree on the approach but talk it out, and Yang is the one to come up with the solution based on Blake’s feelings.

It’s obvious to us as the audience that Yang is a total goner for Blake, and that’s even more true in V8 when they disagree about the best way to help Mantle and in the aftermath the thing that Yang is concerned about the most is if she somehow hurt Blake’s feelings.

Which brings us to V9C6.

To me the most beautiful thing about that scene is how all Blake did was give Yang the safety to talk about her feelings, and immediately validate them once they were given voice. Blake knew what she wanted and never doubted for a second what Yang wanted, even if Yang doubted herself. 

Just like Yang said, Blake never gave up on them.

That’s the kind of shit that makes me cry.

[theangryjikooker]

just read your last anon and I’m usually just a silent reader, and tbh as someone who believe Jikook are a think I disagree with you a lot, but anyways I like reading your blog you seem very down to earth and I like that and I get your frustration. it’s not the first time that I see similar messages and i know I’ll get bashed for saying this but I don’t even believe half of the ppl out there pretending they’re queer (what does that even mean at this point) are anyway. I’ve been in shipping spaces for a long time, I share this "hobby" with a friend of mine and so many "cishets" as they say use the queer umbrella as a shield because we know damn well rps mlm shipping has been thrown upon (sometimes for good reasons, and often times due to misogyny, but that’s just my opinion ). I know some ppl are gonna get mad at this and call me names, not sure why I even send this but as a "cishet" (I usually refuse to use the word cis but that’s another can of worms I won’t open here) I’m seriously done with this mindset. i’m free to make assumptions and ship whoever I want or deny any ship I want to deny like anyone else and being part of the lgbt community is not a requirement to ship, what’s with people acting like the thought police here… ha sorry I needed to vent I guess, that post made me mad

Yes, it's fine to disagree with me! A lot of people who are following me don't agree with everything I have to say, if any at all. The only reason why I know this is that I've seen some familiar names interact with bloggers I 100% would not get along with, but that's really none of my business. I'm not here to change minds.

I think those followers tend to be curious about what I have to say about some aspect of Jikook. Sometimes it'll make them think; most of the time they think I'm full of shit. I have my own critiques of hardcore shippers/supporters, so I fully expect that my existence throws a wrench in all of that and incites aggression in others. All I do is talk about how I feel. Anyone who chooses to interact with me are doing so of their own volition and are responsible for their own actions.

I don’t even believe half of the ppl out there pretending they’re queer (what does that even mean at this point) are anyway. So this POV is a bit of a slippery slope. If we cast doubt on everyone and everything because a fraction of one's community is encouraging those feelings, it doesn't help anyone. Personally, I haven't "met" general ARMYs or shippers who have pretended to be queer, but I've read about this happening. I think the real culprit is the anonymity of the Internet and what kind of behaviors that's enabled over the years, but that's another can of worms I don't want to get into.

To be fair, I understand queer shippers who are tentative about shipping occurring amongst cishets, which is valid, but the way some of them go about protecting what they consider an exclusively LGBTQ+ activity can be extremist and nonsensical, in my opinion.

(Part of me also suspects that this overly passionate dedication amounts to how important fandom is to a person. I prioritize and cherish my real life more than I ever could about fandom, but fandom is also a much needed escape for others, so I can see how that might play a part in people's motivations and how they might go about protecting their safe space.)

Male, female, non-binary, gay, straight, bi, asexual, whatever your sexual or gender identity–don't be an asshole and don't be an idiot, that's all I'm saying. If you're cishet and shipping two males/two females, just be mindful about how you're going about it is all. Shipping because you genuinely care about the individuals involved and believe in who they are as human beings vs. fetishizing them (unintentionally or otherwise) can get a little blurry. (Fetishization is not the only issue that occurs in this cishet vs. lgbtq+ in fandom discourse, but it's the most common and most talked about.)

In my opinion, attraction isn't so discerning; sometimes people just gravitate to whomever they like. If cishets can recognize that attraction is just a feeling that can occur among and across different genders and sexualities, I don't see how this is a bad thing at all.

__

* Sorry, I talk about "cishets" like I'm othering them, and I don't really care much for that attitude, but for distinction purposes, it is what it is.

[genderkoolaid]

A friend sent me a piece* today that had an interesting counter-analysis of the harassment dynamic described in Just One of the Guys? Transgender Men and the Persistence of Gender Inequality:

Schlit theorizes that cishet men are less inquisitive about their trans male coworkers because they think taking interest in another man’s body will make them seem “gay.” Women and gay men are more socially permitted to take an interest in men’s bodies though, she says.

This was the response in the piece my friend sent, the author of which is a gay trans man:

Gay men are expected to reign in all signs of our sexualities at work, to a far greater degree than straight people are. The idea that it’s socially acceptable for a gay man to ask a male coworker about his genitals or sex life is absurd.

On the whole, the cis het men in my life have been quick to act like my transition isn’t a big deal. They always address me appropriately, and don’t make a fuss when encountering me in the bathroom. A cis male coworker advocated for me beautifully when I was newly transitioning at my job, treading a careful line between always using gender neutral language for me but never outing me before I was ready. The most awkward thing a cishet man has ever done in response to my transition was give me the nickname “Dev” — then immediately cringe at himself for it, which I found quite endearing.

Cis female coworkers, on the flip side, tend to radiate a ton of attention and curiosity my way the moment they find out that I’m trans. They ask inappropriate questions about my body or where I plan for my transition to “go” next (surgery wise). They comment on my hair, clothes, and changing cup size. They size me up from head to toe and ask me how the transition is “feeling” with a conspiratorial grin, as if they’ve been let in on some alluring secret. And they are far more likely to verbally and socially group me with women, even if they say that they are supportive.

So my experiences track with the patterns in Schlit’s data, even though I disagree with her interpretation. I don’t think straight men are more respectful to me because they’re afraid of seeming “gay.” If anything, cishet men have become more warm and affectionate to me now that I’m visibly a guy. They feel more relaxed around me because they genuinely see me as one of them. It’s cis women (and sometimes gay men) who are on edge in my presence.

Workplace sexual harassment isn’t really about sexual desire, not any more than sexist catcalling is caused by finding a woman walking down the street hot. Instead, it all comes down to power: who has it, who craves it, and who feels insecure about their relationship to it and chooses to lash out.

Generally speaking, groups with unrivaled power don’t have to use social aggression to protect themselves. The popular kids in school are not the ones who bully, for example; it’s the kids who are in the awkward, insecure middle tier between popular and unpopular who do that.

In secure-feeling workplaces, there is less bullying as well. It’s only when the unemployment rate rises and workplace turnover increases that things like racist workplace harassment go up precipitously. Usually the ones leveraging it are the white people whose positions are on the chopping block. Aggression signals a position that’s in need of defending.

Cishet men are in a very secure position in most institutions. Many of them feel no need to maintain their place in the pecking order by socially aggressing against others. Women and gay men, on the other hand, are in a more perilous position. They have some institutional power, but it’s conditional on them being a ‘respectable’ member of their group. So when another gender minority upends the status quo by transitioning, I believe many women and some gay men feel a need to put him in his place using the very same sexual and gender-based harassment they have regularly endured.

I would quibble a bit on that last paragraph -- I do think cishet men use aggression in the workdplace despite being in secure positions, but I think it has different drivers (e.g. being able to use the security of their position to bully, rather than their aggression being driven by precarity). But overall I think it's a really good point!

*CN for sexual harassment, misgendering, general transphobic fuckery

!!! Thank you for sharing this!

I think that's a really good analysis of the "hostile cis women" phenomenon. People who feel threatened try to take control over whatever they are able, and when you have privilege over someone else and hold ingrained biases against them, they are a very easy target.

Big TW for the article having a lot of descriptions of incidents of harassment and transphobic violence, but I also think it's very good to read those accounts if you are able. It doesn't just focus on trans men's experiences but trans people's as a whole. I think I'm gonna post some more quotes from this article on their own because WOW he really hit hard w some of these.

This whole article is enlightening imo, and I really respect the author for keeping a compassionate viewpoint when analyzing cis women's transphobia and homophobia. Because it's not always easy, but it's important to keep in mind that people rarely ever do things simply because they are assholes; more often, they are assholes because they are suffering. That's not an excuse, but it's not irrelevant, either.

[mariaiscrafting]

no, you know what, I’m going to stop vague’ing on the dash. my anger is about to get extremely direct and enraged, so fair warning, but I don’t care about anyone’s comfort right now. I’m going to get fucking mad, and you all will fucking deal.

not a single one of us has the right, or should even have the option, to guess about ccs’ sexualities. I’ve kept my mouth shut when it comes to people analyzing george/dream and guessing they’re some kind of queer, but I’m fucking done. I’m going to go into every single reason “truthing” about ccs’ sexualities is just so beyond fucked.

first of all, this is in response specifically to ranboo and tubbo truthing. being a kid and getting thrown into such a massive spotlight, where you will undoubtedly be subject to some fuck shit eventually because the internet is full of thousands upon thousands of people, is already terrifying and anxiety-inducing and damaging enough. but for their own audiencemembers - their own supposed fucking “fans” - to take it one step further and speculate about their sexualities? oh, for the love of god. I can barely believe I even have to explain how fucked that is. it is one thing to be friends with or close to someone in real life and recognize your own queer struggle in them, to approach them with sympathy and support in case they are questioning. it is another thing entirely to speculate about the sexuality of someone you don’t even know, and to then take it a step further and “truth” about your fucking theories. you are not an expert, you are not their friend, and you are not a fucking oracle. you can guess all you want about a cc’s sexuality, you can comment on how their actions or behaviors or words resonate with you when you were questioning or closeted, but to go ahead and take your own speculation as truth is arrogant, presumptous, and damaging as all hell. 

I can just imagine what it would’ve been like if I’d grown an online platform that ripped me of my privacy when I was a teenager and trying to figure out my own sexuality. if I had a section of my audience analyzing my every social media post, the inflection in my voice and the nature of my laughs, my every interaction with my best friend, you know what I would’ve done? retreated so far into the closet that I would probably have tricked myself into thinking I was heterosexual. I would’ve been so fucking terrified and felt so stripped of any privacy or control I had over my own goddamn thoughts; do you understand how fucking vile that is? have none of you ever been terrified of giving away your own sexuality through your mannerisms and facial expressions and words, while you were closeted? have none of you ever experienced that utter fucking terror when you notice someone start to question your sexuality, the immediate urge to retreat and back up and act and believe the complete opposite just to prove them wrong and go back to the safety and security of them believing you were straight? for fuck’s sake, now imagine that feeling amplified a hundred fold, applied not just to one instance or one person in your life, but to thousands. do y’all not understand just how a) morally fucked it is to inflict this same kind of practice onto someone you supposedly care about and support, and b) potentially psychologically damaging this could be to ccs who are closeted, especially the fucking minors? oh my fucking god.

that isn’t even to point out why people do this shit - which is to project and find solace and derive some kind of enjoyment out of cc’s. that’s what cc’s are there for; they are entertainers, first and foremost, which continues outside of streams and bleeds into fandom culture and the kind of enjoyment fans can make out of interacting with other fans and creating their own fan content. the problem with this fact is that fans take it too far, like 85% of the time. cc’s aren’t just there for our own enjoyment. they are fucking people, oh my lord. they are real people that we will never know, and while we may have our fun with our little theories and talking to other fans and making and watching cute compilations and writing fanfiction and making fanart, we are just deriving entertainment from the parts of themselves they choose to show us. that persona they put on for the stream, that is not 100% them. they are real, rounded, 3-d, full people who we only ever get the privilege of witnessing a small sliver of. and we need to fucking remember that, because we can’t just keep running with the ideas of ccs that we have in our heads and treating them like they’re malleable characters for our own entertainment. 

anyways, specifically about truthing (and mind you, this is the point in the rant where a little of my anger starts to seep out because I’m tired and it’s 1:40 AM and I have class tomorrow): there’s so many things that can be said about gaydar. I’m not here to argue whether or not it exists, or the details of the morality of straight versus non-straight people engaging in the practice of truthing. I’m just here to say that, even if you believe gaydar exists and can be accurate when employed by non-straight people, that still only applies to people you fucking know. what you see of a cc is not “getting to know” them. what you are seeing is one face of a multi-faceted jewel, cut in far more ways that you can ever hope to one day perceive. your theories are just those - theories. whatever you might think of the giggles you heard or the pickup lines you saw uttered or the softness you imagine between x and y, human interaction is far too complex and laced with meaning for some rando on the internet who watches youtube videos and twitch streams to fully grasp from two entertainers working from behind a screen. your gaydar is not going to fucking work through a screen, fuck off with that shit.

another thing that’s fucking bothering me so much is this assumption that comes with being at all open about queerness when you yourself are not queer. ik this is just one of the many factors “truthers” use to justify the findings of their totally infallible, prophetic gaydar, but it’s a factor nonetheless, and it bothers the fuck outta me. someone being willing to express support for lgbt people or donate to lgbt chairities or open to conversations with other lgbt people about lgbt endeavors is not evidence of queerness. to say that it is contributes to the harmful belief that cishets still have that they cannot be any of those things - that is, exceedingly open about and to queerness - without being perceived as queer themselves. 

anyways, and now we are at the bottom line, which is that, this entire conversation wouldn’t even have to be had if people just fucking listened to cc boundaries. ranboo and tubbo do not like being shipped. it is that fucking simple. i know that it is tempting to ship two people you think are cute together. i know it is tempting to indulge in a dynamic you find comforting. but idgaf. temptation is not an excuse. find some fictional characters to ship, and kindly fuck off.

[choicesenthusiast]

Representation at Pixelberry: The Follow-Up

One year ago, on June 15, 2020, Pixelberry released a statement regarding representation at the company. Here is the LINK to the original blog post, and here was MY RESPONSE. Oh, how naïve and optimistic I was. It contained a list of goals and promises they hoped to accomplish within a year. Well, a year has passed, and here is my attempt to hold PB accountable. I'll be going over the five main points of their representation plan and if they achieved what they promised. All criticisms are about content released after June 15th. Long post beware, but I'm not putting it under a read more because I feel like it's important for all to see.

1. Commitment to diversity of Love Interests - FAIL

We’ve already been moving towards having Love Interests have customizable skin tones. We will continue to do this with some stories, while also having some characters with clear ethnic identities. At the same time when we have multiple love interests of different ethnicities, we are aiming for those Love Interests to have equal game time.

"LIs with customizable skin tones" mean they come in three flavours: white, black, and ambiguously Asian/Latinx interchangeably. So far I have rarely seen an LI as connected to their culture/ethnicity as Rafael Aveiro, and he just talked about his Vovo's food if he ever were on screen. They had many chances with the other OH LIs as well. Even Ayna Seth and Tatum Mendoza were confirmed to be Indian and Filipino, respectively, though FA gets a little leeway, as it was set in a fictional west-European continent.

As for equal game time? I'm sure the biggest example we can all think of was the mess that was Open Heart 3, which was written during the hiatus (which only existed because they were going to straight up kill Rafael in Book 2). Game time was not equal among LIs, and the white male LI was heavily favoured. PB also continues to pay female LIs dirt by giving them no screen time. In addition to that, LGBT+ players, who are consistently underrepresented, receive one (1) unprepared pride month survey, prpbably only because someone asked them about it on Twitter.

This is the meat and potatoes of everything because it's what they're outputting to their audience. It's what the people see. Given that things haven't been going so well lately in this department, consider this promise a big fat fail.

2. More authentic and diverse hairstyles for people of color - QUESTIONABLE

Our team will focus on providing more authentic and representative hairstyles. We are prioritizing these hairstyles outside of our normal book processes and will introduce them in new books as they are ready.

While, yes, they have added two new hairstyles in WEH, they also just took Jade Bonet's hair and recycled it for LoA F!MC. PB recycles all their hair more often than not.

3. More diverse book covers - QUESTIONABLE

This is an initiative we started in January of this year. As a result the number of Black, Latinx, Asian, Native American, Pacific Islander, mixed, and other characters on new book covers increased from 35% of characters in 2019 to 60% characters in the first half of 2020. However, the number of black characters is still not high enough this year. More are already scheduled for books later this year. We will make sure that Black characters are well represented on our covers in the future.

"Diverse" does not just mean by race, but also gender, sexual orientation, etc. FA has the only recent MLM cover. And don't tell me that the FA and LoA covers are any different from each other. The only black characters on covers are Zoey Wade (QB), and Black!Gabe Ricci (LoA) and Bastien (WB), which aren't even their canon races unless you choose them to be. This is the case for many single-LI books, such as Cassian Keane (W:ABR, which technically premiered on Mar. 16, but the sentiment is the same), Sam Dalton (TNA), and Dakota Winchester (WEH). Not to mention the customizable/multi LI books like DS, RT, BaBu2, MTFL, etc. Majority of these covers are just cishet couples delicately cradling each other's bodies or whatever. And we're not even gonna get into how PB literally put the Open Heart LIs in order of their favouritism on Book 3's cover.

4. Writers/Staff - QUESTIONABLE

We will be engaging in professional training on historical and current racism for our writers to ensure more of them have a better understanding and more context for views of diverse characters in Choices. We will also create a program that gives more authority to people of color in the studio to advise writers and artists on more authentic portrayals in both writing and art of black, brown, and minority characters.

A story with a Black-led cast is something I have asked for in the past, but failed to follow-up on. We will very likely start this with a Black-led cast story led by Chelsa, one of Pixelberry's Black writers.

We will increase the number of diverse writers we source for new stories, starting with hiring more Black and Latinx writers to lead the charge.

For all teams at Pixelberry we will actively work to bring in more Black and Latinx candidates with the goal to increase the number of Black and Latinx employees at Pixelberry. Although Pixelberry is over 50% female, on teams where females are not at 50% we will actively work to source more female candidates.

This promise seemed like a copout from the start because we have no way of knowing who works on what at PB unless we very meticulously stalk their LinkedIn or Twitter or whatever. We have no solid statistics except for what they feed us. I do know, however, that they recently let the Ms. Match writers go and were hiring for external writers, but there really is no way of knowing what's going on behind-the-scenes with their 112+ employees, and of course there would be NDAs involved. We are yet to see a book with an all-Black cast, and receive rare development updates with new books. Actually, I think a really good way to promote diversity is to do staff showcases on their social media. Just a way to show the public who's responsible for what. Writers, game devs, the art team, etc. Don't think it'll happen, but it's always a good idea.

5. Donations - QUESTIONABLE

Pixelberry will also be making $100,000 in donations to Black Girls Code, the Black Writers Collective, and the Latinx Writers Collective at Techqueria. Rather than as a lump sum, we will be making these donations over the course of a year to remind us that we are not making short term changes, but are committed to long term sustainable actions. We’ll also be donating up to an additional $100k from profits for this week, 6/15-6/21.

There has been no proof, no receipts, no evidence from PB that they have donated anything to anyone, and as far as we're concerned, their word doesn't mean anything. No news or updates news about it. I would love to believe that they did something, but as you can see, I've become quite the pessimist. BWC still uses PB's old logo (like, pre-Choices) on their sponsors page, and the last interaction they've had with BGC was in 2013. They don't even follow each other on Instagram. In fact, BGC received a huge donation from MacKenzie Scott, formerly Bezos last July. Yes, that billionaire Bezos, and that got coverage from them. Obviously donations don't need to be for publicity, but in this case I think it's important there should be proof. Again, it's really hard to tell with these behind-the-scenes things, but given how PB loves to gloat and hates to keep promises, we can assume that none of this happened.

~~~

So, what's the takeaway? That PB's fallen down the drainhole of shitty content and empty promises and has no intention of climbing out as long as they still make that bank? Seems counterproductive, because good representation gets good feedback and income. They pump out bad books with barebones "representation" if you can call it that, then drop their precious merch and pretend all is fine and dandy. But just as I suspected one year ago, none of this matters, because people forget things, and people move on, and shit gets swept under rugs. Yet, here I am, yelling at a company in a post I for sure doubt they'll see. Because if not me, then who?

@playchoices Your move. It's been your move for a year now. When will you actually make it?

[mellometal]

Ah, shit…here we go again. 

These videos are getting pumped out daily and they’re even longer, so y’know…longer videos = longer scripts for me to write!  So that’s fun. /s If you want to know why it takes me longer to pump these posts out, that’s why.  Plus this man physically makes me angry.

This video is one that I’m gonna have a field day with, since I’m a lesbian and I want to get married to my future wife someday.  Would I go all-out with traditional wedding stuff?  Probably not too much.  On my end, at least.  If my future wife wanted parts of our wedding to be traditional, I’d be more than happy to help her out on her end if she needed it.  I mean, she has just as much say in the wedding as I do.  That’s just wishful thinking.  

Given how things are going in the United States at the moment, I’m scared that I won’t be able to marry another woman, let alone be openly lesbian.  Despite me being openly lesbian for six years.  I’ve got a plethora of fears about this topic alone, but my fears aren’t important.  The fears BIPOC in the LGBT community have are far more important than my own.  I know, fully understand, and acknowledge that I have an easier time being part of the LGBT community because I’m white, I don’t live in any third-world country where being LGBT is punishable by death, and I live in a country where being LGBT is widely accepted.  If it wasn’t for black LGBT pioneers like Lucy Hicks Anderson, Gladys Bentley, Bayard Rustin, Pauli Murray, Miss Major Griffin-Gracy, Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, and Audre Lorde, to name a few, being the ones who first fought for our rights in the United States, we wouldn’t be able to get married, let alone be openly LGBT in the United States.  Drag queens, drag kings, feminists, sex workers, poets, and politicians in the LGBT community fought for our rights!  The voices of BIPOC in the LGBT community need to be amplified.  (I’m not saying that for brownie points or anything.  I truly believe this and I stand by it.  I honestly believe that LGBT history should be taught more in schools because people in the LGBT community did make huge impacts in history.  There’s a lot of history that we’re never taught in school and have to learn on our own.)  I cannot imagine how difficult it is for BIPOC in the LGBT community to be openly LGBT.

For anyone who’s not aware of other events going on in the United States, the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, and they’re going to be looking over contraceptives, same-sex marriage, and same-sex relationships in the fall, if I remember correctly.  They’re attacking the Indian Child Welfare Act, which is there to keep indigenous children with their indigenous families instead of having them taken away and put in white foster homes.  At least that’s my understanding of that law.  I don’t believe indigenous children should be taken away from their families at all.  The Supreme Court is full of conservative, Republican, pro-forced birth, bigoted, gun-toting, able-bodied, neurotypical, Trump supporting cishets.  I’ve been horrified about the state of my country for years prior to these current events.  I’ve expressed fear of Roe v. Wade getting overturned by the Supreme Court even before they announced that they were looking at this case that the late Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg fought for the Supreme Court to uphold.  I’m disgusted by the state of my country.  I have been for a long time.  I’ve been disgusted by how my country treats BIPOC, disabled people, the LGBT community, poor people, homeless people, mentally ill people, immigrants, and basically anyone who’s not a Republican, conservative, pro-forced birth, gun-toting, neurotypical, able-bodied, rich, evangelical Christian, white cishet man.  I’m even more terrified to leave my house than I was before, despite my state still upholding the right for AFAB people to choose.  How the fuck is the United States of America “The land of the free, home of the brave”?  Can someone PLEASE explain that to me?  Oh yeah, America is “The Land Of The Free, Home Of The Brave” to ONLY Republican, conservative, pro-forced birth, gun-toting, able-bodied, neurotypical, rich, evangelical Christian, white cishet men!  I forgot. /s (DISCLAIMER:  I know that not every single Christian is like this.  I’m also aware that most Christians don’t tolerate this behavior.  I’m referring to extremists, like what makes up the vast majority of the Supreme Court.  I’m not trying to bash Christians.)

You’re here for the review, not for me ranting about how Republican, conservative, pro-forced birth, gun-toting, neurotypical, able-bodied, rich, evangelical Christian, white cishets are fucking up the United States.  Let’s get on with the review before I pop a blood vessel.  Which I might end up doing anyway because this man makes my blood boil.

The video starts off with an old man named Trey and a young woman named Kristen (presumably a boss and an employee) on what looks to be their lunch break and they’re about to sit at a table.  Apparently they work at a cupcake shop, because the boss says that they can finish decorating cupcakes when they get back from their break.  Trey tells Kristen that he got another call about some kid’s birthday party.  Kristen obliges.  Trey looks over at a bridal shop to see a woman being fitted for a wedding dress and she’s showing off to her soon-to-be wife.  He tells his employee that’s “what’s wrong with the world”.  Kristen is confused.  Trey says that two women getting married is disgusting.  Kristen is visibly uncomfortable and wants to say something, but she doesn’t say anything.  Her boss gets up and walks over to the bridal shop.

Trey acts like a total Kevin in the bridal shop (which he shouldn’t have been in, by the way…there’s a little thing called minding your own business).  One of the workers there asks if she can help him.  The boss says he’s got a business and he “couldn’t help but notice what was going on there” (AGAIN, MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS).  The worker shows off the happy wives-to-be and says, “Aren’t they the most stunning couple you’ve ever seen?”

We see the wives-to-be and something about it rubs me the wrong way.  NOT because Dhar Mann put lesbians in. That’s not my issue whatsoever.  It’s because Dhar Mann just threw in two stereotypical lesbians that present as traditionally butch and femme and did absolutely NOTHING with them.  All he did was make them look like a traditionally straight couple.  As far as appearance goes.

Is there anything wrong with lesbian couples that present traditionally butch and femme, or lesbians in general who present as traditionally butch or femme?  Of course not!  I love both butch and femme lesbians! Butch/femme lesbian couples are adorable!  I never said there was anything wrong with it, so don’t get your panties in a bunch. /lighthearted   Just hear me out for a second, please.

The way that they’re portrayed is to appear like a traditional straight married couple (bride and groom) and they’re put into the traditional gender roles of straight couples.  It looks like there was absolutely no thought put into the lesbian couple and Dhar Mann just went with what suited him, which is cis heteronormative bullshit.  He went with the default and pretty much used them for his trauma porn to soothe his savior complex.  Like, not every single lesbian couple presents as traditionally butch and femme.  Of course Dhar Mann wouldn’t know that.  It looks like he’s never met a lesbian before in his life, let alone ever SEEN one.  The writing on his part is a slap in the face to lesbian couples that have both butch lesbians, lesbian couples that have both femme lesbians, to lesbian couples that have both futch lesbians, and lesbian couples that have any combination of these.  Seeing lesbians that don’t present as completely butch or completely femme (futch lesbians) in media isn’t very common.  The only ones I can think of are Haruka and Michiru (I mean, to me, neither of them present as completely butch or femme, though Haruka is supposed to present as butch and Michiru is supposed to present as femme), the Sailor Stars, Garnet, and Pearl.  That’s pretty much it.  Lapis and Peridot arguably would fit that category too, since neither of them present as completely butch or femme.  At least to me.  Lesbians don’t have a specific “look”.  But you’re too far up your own ass to see that, aren’t you, Dhar Dhar Binks?

I’m guessing he finally put lesbians into the Dhar Mann Lore™ for brownie points and he wanted to be hip with the lesbians.  Hey, Dhar, I’m a lesbian and I absolutely hate you!  Here’s a challenge for you, Dhar:  QUIT FUCKING STEREOTYPING MINORITIES!  ACTUALLY LISTEN TO MINORITIES FOR ONCE!  STOP THROWING IN CHARACTERS THAT ARE PART OF OPPRESSED AND MARGINALIZED GROUPS JUST FOR THE SAKE OF DOING IT!  THE SO-CALLED “REPRESENTATION” IN YOUR VIDEOS IS FULL OF NOTHING BUT STEREOTYPES, TRAUMA PORN, AND “INSPIRATION” PORN.  YOU REGURGITATE THAT GARBAGE OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

You’re not changing lives, like you claim.  You’re doing nothing but pissing people off.  You’re spreading misinformation about things you know NOTHING about and will NEVER begin to understand.  You refuse to properly educate yourself about these things because you just want to be seen as the “all-knowing good guy with good vibes all around” or whatever the hell your agenda is now.  I can’t tell anymore because you and your sorry excuse for a savior complex thoroughly disgust me.  Your videos as a whole are ignorant, mediocre, flat-out stupid, and unrealistic at best.  On the flip side, your videos are offensive, bigoted, insincere, arrogant, harmful, unhelpful, and even dangerous at worst.  The vast majority of people who watch your videos and unironically like them are young, impressionable children who don’t know any better and people who spew the same rhetoric you do, take your word as gospel, refuse to educate themselves on topics you know fuck-all about, and they refuse to acknowledge the harm that your videos cause to real people.  Or they just don’t care!  MOVING ON.

Trey continues on his homophobic rant that a gay (JUST SAY “LESBIAN” IN THIS CONTEXT, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY…IT’S NOT A BAD WORD) couple shouldn’t be going out buying clothes at a bridal store.  The lady sporting the tux (Alex) FINALLY steps in to call Trey out on his bullshit.  Trey then tries to clap back by saying that Alex looks ridiculous, she should be ashamed of herself, women don’t wear tuxedos, and they shouldn’t be “bringing their pride parade into the mall” and “scaring away his customers” (dude, you got bigger problems at that point).

Kristen steps in, tells Trey to stop, and she says that the couple is just trying to shop like everyone else.  Trey says that they’re “not like everyone else”.  Only then does the worker in the bridal shop say that Trey needs to leave.  Trey is going on a rant still, and the worker threatens to call security.  He drags Kristen along with him.  Kristen apologizes for her boss’s behavior and thinks that they look great.

Cut to the bakery.  Kristen’s working.  A drag queen named Kyla Velvet walks into the bakery.  Kristen immediately recognizes her and says that she’s a huge fan.  Kyla says that she’s looking for someone to cater for her afterparty and she’s looking at all the baked goods.  She says that the boss must spend a lot of time on the baked goods on display, but Kristen says that she’s the one who made them herself.  Kyla is in disbelief, praises Kristen, and says that she should open up her own shop.

Trey walks back in, berates the drag queen, calls her a freak, and says that he “doesn’t serve their kind”.  Kristen jumps to defend Kyla, but Kyla stops her.  Kyla tells Trey off, rightfully so.  Trey obviously doesn’t like this and feels threatened, so he tells Kyla to leave. 

 

We see Alex and her soon-to-be wife at the bakery picking up an order.  They’re both looking at all the baked goods and how good they look.  Trey spots them and says he recognizes them.  Alex’s soon-to-be wife confronts Trey for interrupting their (Alex’s and her own) fitting.  One of Trey’s employees calls out the order for Alex, he’s about to hand it to her, but Trey stops him.  He refuses service to Alex and her soon-to-be wife.  Both of these ladies are rightfully pissed.  Kristen stands up for the couple and tells Trey that he needs to give them their order because they paid for it.  Trey refuses, Kristen tells him that it’s not the 1950’s anymore, and the couple says that they’d be willing to take their business elsewhere.  Trey takes the box of cupcakes and shoves them in the trash can, crushing them in the process, to everyone’s horror.  Alex asks what’s wrong with Trey, and he says that it’s THEM (Alex and her soon-to-be wife) that are the problem.

The couple then leaves.  After they leave, Trey berates Kristen for just serving customers. Just doing her job.  She stands up to her boss by telling him that how he treated them wasn’t okay.  Trey got his balls in a twist because A LESBIAN COUPLE BOUGHT BRIDAL CUPCAKES FOR THEIR WEDDING!  OH, THE FUCKING HORROR! /s How can Trey EVER recover from this? /s He then asks if Kristen is on his side or the couple’s side.  She says she’s on the couple’s side and that there’s nothing wrong with being part of the LGBT community.  Trey’s in disbelief, but here’s the twist: KRISTEN IS PART OF THE COMMUNITY!  WHAT A TWIST. She pulls a Clark Kent and reveals a shirt with a RAINBOW ON IT! *gasp* And it says “BE YOU” in bold letters!  When Trey sees Kristen’s shirt, he tells her to take it off and threatens to fire her if she doesn’t.  Kristen says that Trey can’t fire her because she quits and she regrets not doing it a long time ago.  She says that she’s gonna open up her own bakery and become more successful than Trey.

Okay, hear me out, I’m not trying to rain on this girl’s parade whatsoever.  This is a recurring theme in Dhar Dhar Binks’s videos.  Wanting to open up your own business is a great thing.  I’m not knocking anyone for doing that.  However, there’s a lot of time, work, dedication, and money involved with creating a business and opening up a business.  Please feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but shouldn’t you have a business degree or at least experience with running a business, money, and proper licensing?  I don’t know, there’s a lot of things that just don’t add up.  I don’t know about you, but opening up a business with no business degree, no experience in the business industry, no money (having to resort to taking out loans), and no proper licensing seems risky.  What do I expect from a Dhar Mann video though?  Realism?  Fuck that noise!  Everything’s all peachy keen in the Dhar Mann Lore™! /s

Then we have a montage of Kristen running her own bakery, everything’s going great, and then it goes to shit real quick. BECAUSE SHE CLEARLY DOESN’T KNOW HOW MARKETING WORKS. Not saying that’s a bad thing, of course.  She eventually gave up and went to look for another job…at the bridal shop.  The lady looks at Kristen’s resume, says they’re not hiring, and Kristen goes out to sit on the bench.  Trey walks out, sees her, and decides to just kick her while she’s down (metaphorically speaking).  She says that she’d rather be homeless than to work for Trey ever again.  Trey’s mocking her the whole time.  He says that when she becomes homeless, he’ll find her and feed her a cupcake so she doesn’t starve to death.  What a fucking pig.

Kyla walks in and sees Kristen.  She tells Kyla that she doesn’t work at that bakery anymore.  Kyla is relieved and says that Trey was a monster.  Kristen apologizes for how Kyla was treated again (though TREY should be apologizing, but he’s a big macho man who can’t admit when he’s wrong), and that she should’ve stood up for Kyla more since they’re both part of the same community.  Kyla tells Kristen not to apologize and she did what she could.  She asks if Kristen started her own business.  Kristen says she did but it already failed, so she’s looking for a job.  Kyla asks her how she marketed her business.  Kristen says she posted on Facebook, Instagram, and told her friends and family.  Kyla asks about target marketing or focusing on any specific niche, which Kristen obviously didn’t know what she meant at all.  She says that people in the community love to support LGBT owners because not everyone is very kind to them in other businesses, and suggests that Kristen sells to the LGBT community.

Of course, Kristen never thought about that and is unsure if that would work.  With Kyla’s words of encouragement, Kristen says she’ll try again.  Kyla says she needs someone to cater a party anyway, so it’s perfect timing.  Kristen tries again and she gets so many customers that Pewdiepie’s got some stiff competition.

Trey’s business is going down, like how it usually goes in the Dhar Mann Lore, and he gets what’s coming to him.  Kristen gets successful enough to rent out a bakery.  It’s Trey’s bakery, ironically enough.  He’s not having it. Trey blames his business going downhill on THE ECONOMY instead of his abhorrent behavior that drove away customers.  He blames Kristen for all his bad reviews, which she had no part of.  All her customers pull up and confront Trey so bad he leaves!  And they all live happily ever after…whoop-dee-fuckin’-doo.

Jesus tap-dancing Christ, this video made me angry.  It’s cringe.  It’s offensive.  It’s bigoted.  It’s riddled with stereotypes.  One gripe I’ve had for a while, WHY do you wait until the middle of the fucking video to even say the characters’ names?  DO IT AT THE BEGINNING.  FUCK. Just because you write it down on paper, NOBODY CAN SEE THAT IN THE FINISHED PRODUCT.

Sorry this is out so late. Hopefully this huge post makes up for it.

[spaceysoupy]

I wasn't trying to argue with you, but I see now that you weren't going to be anything but hostile if you didn't think I agreed with you. I fundamentally disagree with you on the concept of gender and sexuality in general. Gender is a really bad way to define attraction because it can mean so many different things to different people, often in contradictory ways. Lesbian doesn't needed to be divided between multispectrum and monosexual because because gender isn't that simple anymore. The only reason to put qualifiers in front of the word lesbian is to give cover to people attracted to binary men who don't get enough warm and fuzzy feelings from identifying as bisexual. Monosexual means attraction to only one gender. How is that not impossible? You can't really know someone's gender without talking to them, and you're not going to stop being attracted to them if their gender is something you never heard of or it doesn't fit your past experience with that gender. People are not attracted to labels. Basing how you define your attraction on labels is restrictive and crisis-inducing. People don't need to modify their identity every time they find someone attractive. What I think makes a lot more sense than what you tried to tell me, and it's inherently non-exclusionist without causing misunderstanding or requiring further explanation.

Look, I’ll reply to you once more asking you to leave me alone. After that, if you send an ask about this again, I will be blocking you. I don’t know where you got in your mind that I was going to be “hostile” (interesting choice of words there) after I simply told you “I’m not willing to engage with anything like that at this moment, I am incredibly busy and, honestly, tired of discourse entirely” and told you to have a nice day. Ending the conversation. But nice job projecting I guess!

As someone from a culture where my gender is incredibly important to my people and our future, I do not and will not agree with you that it is some nebulous concept for everyone. Perhaps with a eurocentric background, but spoiler alert not everyone who talks about gender and sexuality is talking about the colonially imposed concepts peddled by cisheteropatriarchy. Which I was pretty clear with in my original thread on twitter, which I assume is where you came from. Unless you saw me tag something as 2S or mspec lesbian positivity and decided to fuck around in my inbox, which would be incredibly weird, but I’m choosing to give you the benefit of the doubt.

If you believe monosexuality is impossible, fine, good luck telling conservative cishet white people that. I’m sure they’d love to hear that they’re actually attracted to multiple genders./s

I never said people have to modify their identity every time they find someone attractive, that’s purely you and your prescriptivism talking. Which I talked about.

And, yes, before you call me “hostile” again, I AM being snippy, because you’ve wasted my time when I thought you might be open to having a genuine conversation, called me hostile, and your bimisia and views on gender are fundamentally incompatible to us having that conversation. Clearly neither of us are going to change that, so I’m asking you to leave me alone. Again. I will not engage again, I will just delete your ask and block you. Have a nice day.

[ineffable-endearments]

CW below for a discussion that relates to homophobia, transphobia, queerphobia, acephobia, and related subjects. no specific stories, the themes just generally appear. i hope i didn't screw up and will fix it if i did.

so i was thinking about what makes Aziraphale and Crowley resonate as a queer love story, not just a "forbidden romance" (a trope that can be painfully cishet when it wants to be, which is often).

and i mean, obviously. there are a LOT of things. a lot. but something that didn't occur to me before is their relationship to each other relative to their sides.

at first, one would assume that they aren't supposed to be talking at all. this is probably true on a surface level. like, it's probably considered uncool to be caught chatting with The Enemy.

however, we do see that it's kind of normal for angels and demons to talk with a degree of civility. they don't trust each other deeply, that much is really obvious (Beelzebub says as much to Michael), and they do probably plan to kill each other eventually. at least, i think they genuinely believe that's how it's going to play out.

but! the front entrance to Heaven is in the same building as the front entrance to Hell! Aziraphale and Crowley literally walk into the building side by side! i know it's a funny joke, but Heaven and Hell aren't framed as stupid enough, by the end of the series, for that to be pure incompetence.

Michael has been in contact with Ligur for who-knows-how-long, feeding him information and presumably being fed information in return. Gabriel is entirely capable of speaking amicably with Beelzebub once it looks like their Plan isn't going through. and, of course, the Sides easily collaborate to punish Aziraphale and Crowley.

it's obviously normal for angels and demons to have a civil relationship of some sort.

a number of references are also made to the ways that the Sides are ultimately the same. Beelzebub and Gabriel are operating out of the same rulebook, after all; they both think the War is "written," they just differ on who's bound to win. to them, the most important thing is not even to thwart the other side on Earth - it's to get to the part where they're at war. they will absolutely collaborate with each other to reach that goal. they consider themselves part of the same Plan. consider even Crowley's thoughts in the book about how demons have "an unpopular job" but are "essential" to the running of the universe. they may be culturally different, but they all know they belong to the same society.

therefore, merely talking together is probably not strictly forbidden for Aziraphale and Crowley. even being sort of friendly probably isn't strictly forbidden. again, uncool? yeah. deadly? i doubt it, to be honest. heck, to their bosses' faces, they could use it as an excuse to spy on each other whether any actual spying got done.

what's the real problem? the thing everyone's upset about? it's not just that don't kill each other on sight. the real problem is that they prioritized each other. they got too intimate. their desires for a life together challenged the status quo, and even though they weren't the ones who were finally responsible for stopping the war altogether (that was Adam), they were blamed and sadistically punished for trying to preserve their relationship and their lives here on Earth instead of "growing up" and fulfilling their predetermined roles in Heaven and Hell.

in real life, society punishes people for prioritizing friendships in a way that most people assume is to be reserved only for romantic and sexual relationships. Heaven and Hell punish people for prioritizing friendship in a way that most people assume is to be reserved only for the glory of their cause.

and irl, when people are romantic or sexual (viewed as too intimate) with someone who is considered the "wrong gender," we punish them again for that. cisheteropatriarchal culture tends to expect men in particular to be not too intimate with each other and fuels a total hiding of emotion between them, although goodness knows women get pitted against each other and are expected to choose men over each other, too. also, the status quo does not know how to handle nonbinary people at all; the status quo gets angry if you even try to acknowledge that they exist. but if there was a widely-popular etiquette structure established for enbies, i'd be willing to bet it would also be a weird rivalry thing.

like, each gender sort of gets treated as "we all think the same in this gender, which is why we get along, but we don't like each other too much, because that would be gay."

"we're all looking to keep the Great Plan in motion, but we don't like each other too much, because then we wouldn't be on opposite sides."

basically, Aziraphale and Crowley read as a queer love story because their affection for each other and the lives they've created together challenges the traditional roles their shared society forces on them. it's a happy queer love story because not only do they manage to choose that affection over the status quo, they succeed and go on to enjoy themselves.

i'm a little nervous about posting this rant, because it's kind of saying, i guess, that Crowley and Aziraphale's queer relationship is characterized by their challenges to the status quo, and i don't think by any means that has to be true of all queer people. i mean, people can be quietly non-cishet, never let anyone know, never tell a soul, and they'd still not be cishet. and also, isn't the point that someday we'd get to a point where nobody has to deal with bigotry or even disrespect?

but at the same time, it is kind of impossible to look at the history and not see significant struggles, including ones that appear in stories over and over. i can't tell you how many posts i've seen on this site alone about how queer love and queer survival are themselves acts of resistance. and IMO, that's what Crowley and Aziraphale have.

[army-of-mai-lovers]

ATLA Fic Recs :))))))

Ok no one asked for this but I’m doing it anyway. In honor of me reaching 100 kudos on a fic for the first time, I’m doing fic recs! 

1. Spirits Help Us, There’s Two of Them by hopepunk on ao3 (not sure if they have a tumblr) ngl if I had to pick a favorite zukka oneshot at gunpoint this is probably the one I’d pick. Sokka and Zuko being weird together is just so amazingly satisfying and I love it so so much. I can barely understand what they’re talking about most of the fic but also somehow I can?? It’s weird. I love being let into their little world like this. 

2. The Family You Choose by TunaFishChris on ao3 (again, not sure if they have a tumblr) While I do love a good romantic soulmate au, let’s be honest, platonic found family ones are a million times better. I legit think about this fic all the time. Platonic gaang bonding? check. The gaang finds out about Zuko’s scar? check. A BACKSTORY FOR SUKI OUTSIDE OF HER RELATIONSHIP WITH SOKKA???? CHECK. CHECK. ALL THE WAY CHECK. I also just really love how the author develops the soulmate stuff? It’s really original (as far as I know anyway) and just really compelling. I could literally go on forever about this fic I’m OBSESSED with it. 

3. spark from a flame: courtyard rights and other tales by @pianjeong this would be a woefully incomplete list if it did not include a killer rarepair fic and this one is the literal best. I’m not going to lie, of the three rarepairs I ship (bakoda, yueki, jetko-kinda, and pianjeong), pianjeong was the one that took the longest for me to really fully ship. I liked it fine, but I didn’t really *see* it until I read this fic. It’s so soft??? Like so soft???? Jeong Jeong is also a shy icon we stan for life. The writing in this is so so pretty, and ugh the chemistry,,,,, the tension,,,,, also Jeong Jeong knowing everybody’s names and being super polite to everyone? I love him. Piandao not being impressed by someone’s celebrity? I love him. this is truly beautiful, top-tier content. 

4. paint it red, they’ll cover it up anyway by @bluberry-spicehead this fic is the reason I ship jetko-kinda. the whole kindergarten au is simply top-tier, but the jetko angle--really exploring the dynamics of it and dedicating time to watching both of them grow better--is really amazing. Plus the first chapter was from Smellerbee’s perspective and like any self-respecting ATLA Jet not-quite-apologist-but-I-do-believe-he-deserved-better I ADORE SMELLERBEE. The writing style is also super interesting and dynamic and I really just love it a lot. 

5. where we go for each other, we go together by @herglowinggirl the way I SOBBED reading this fic. the way I felt ALL THE EMOTIONS. Oh my goodness. Rangi is such a good character????? Kyoshi is such a good character???? Them???? Parenting???? You know how when you watched Lady Bird it reminded you so precisely of your exact relationship with your mother even though you’re not a cishet white girl living in Sacramento? This is that. I’m never going to be the Avatar’s Firebending master/lover/co-parent to a little girl we found on the streets but I felt this fic so deep inside my soul. It was BRILLIANTLY WRITTEN and deserves ALL THE KUDOS. 

edit: I just read the most INCREDIBLE Azula redemption arc fic and I’ve decided to add it to the list, it’s called where the stars do not take sides by WitchofEndor on ao3 (couldn’t find a tumblr). I’m not going to lie, it’s really hard for me to get into multichap fics (ironic considering I write mostly multichap), but the first chapter was so incredibly written I was like all right I have to read the second chapter and I ended up reading like eighty percent of it in one sitting and the only reason I didn’t read 100% of it in one sitting is because it was 3 am and I had class the next day. This is the first canonverse fic that I’ve read that shows Azula’s whole redemption arc (and honestly it’s only the second fic I’ve read, modern, canon-compliant, or canon-divergent, that gives Azula a redemption arc period) and it’s done so remarkably well. Seeing Azula and Zuko’s bond grow throughout was just so beautiful (the way Zuko said he didn’t want to be anywhere without Azula? I’m crying. CRYING.) Azula was just so so so well-written in this I believed every second of it (and I have HIGH STANDARDS for fics with Azula). Also obsessed with the idea that Zuko didn’t want the throne so they plan to give it to Azula, a fourteen year-old girl like wow iconic. There’s also a zukka subplot in this that’s incredibly sweet and UGH they both need to learn how to communicate my goodness.  

[glassesandkim]

I would like to say my piece here about schmico, grey’s anatomy, and the fandom and it’s really for my own self-indulgence and benefit. I’m not asking for you to agree with me or even begin to understand what I’m going on about. I don’t even think half the things that I think about for this fandom exists on an important level. I fully believe in just ~vibin’~ to your own tune when it comes to participating in fandom spaces.

so this post is gonna be my way of getting stuff off my chest so i can continue to ~vibe~

First thing I’d like to address is: I know. I know the Nico Kim that I love and adore is not the Nico Kim in canon. He is who I hope he is in canon. But there’s not much to combat or support that he is or isn’t. He really could be who we’ve made up in fanon for him and at the same time, he really couldn’t. Grey’s created this character that is as blank as a dried piece of toast. So forgive me if I spread a bit of spicy jam here and there so I can swallow this bland shit down a little easier. 

So when people come to me to say, “Y’all are delulu and out of your mind to love this guy this much.” PLEASE, I know. This isn’t news, honey. I am well aware.

But I will continue to justify, romanticize, and put this boy on a pedestal for as long as his existence in canon continues to remain arbitrary and vague. And it makes me very biased to a fault but I have put too much time and energy into this character NOT to be. 

And then you might ask, why have I put so much of my time and life (THREE YEARS!!!! I’VE BEEN IN THIS FANDOM FOR THREE YEARS!!!!!!!!!!) into this character that has all but said maybe like a PAGE of dialogue at most? 

Because I was conned into it. Because they marketed the shit out of him when Alex Landi got the part. And I, as a casual viewer of Grey’s since I was in high school (I’m in my late 20s now, dawg) and of Asian descent was promised representation. Not just Asian rep, but queer rep. 

So naturally, I got extremely attached. It's not everyday a major Western mainstream prime time medical drama chooses to create a character as unique as Nico's. 

I spent so much time here. I was here when fandom decided Nico would call Levi “babe”. I was here when we all clowned that Nico didn’t know Levi’s first name. I was here when Josh died and the fandom went up in arms with pitchforks and stakes against Nico. I was here for all of it. I've seen it all. 

And unfortunately, seeing it all, makes me tired. Grey’s is time and time again proving to me that they don’t give a shit about the development and well-being of their existing characters at all. The show only cares about collecting diversity points and performing their wokeness to the general masses. (I talk a lot about how grey's is plot-driven vs. character-driven.) 

I will still get frustrated and annoyed at Nico’s lack of character development. But I mostly just laugh at the fandom nowadays. I know you guys want to fight the fight, tell everyone Nico is not toxic!!!!!! But bros, friends, lovers, it’s a tried and tired fight. 

Grey’s wants us to think Nico is a Bad Boyfriend. It’s as clear as the stench one comes across when they step on dog shit. That’s why I think it’s useless to fight people about Nico. Grey’s gets amnesia all the time. Grey’s forgot the whole season and half they invested in creating a loving boyfriend for Levi and up and changed Nico’s personality to fit a new narrative (that they, quite frankly, failed to even follow through because of covid and other filming hoopla hula hoops they’ve had to jump through that I’ve been informed of and which I simply don’t care for). 

So all this ~schmico is endgame!!! we deserve it!!!~ Binches, I have better things to fight for than schmico endgame. What’s the alternative? Levi lives in Jo’s closet forever? They’re going to be together in the end no matter what. Nobody on that show cares enough about Nico OR Levi to set up new relationships and stories for them. So don’t fret, my friends. They’ll be together in the end. It just comes down to the question of what stupid story they’re going to come up with for them to be together. (And might I argue that they already are together???) 

Speaking of the bogus story they’re going to write for schmico: you bet my rice eating, Chinese-speaking ass, that it’s not going to be a story written from a queer and poc perspective. It’s going to be some gag-worthy straight het story but made gay. (How many times do I have to hear, "I hope Nico comes out to his parents!!" NO, HE DOESN'T! Do you know how VIOLENT coming out is sometimes?? It's not a solution to Nico's problems with Levi. It's an introduction and invitation to problems over being queer -- but why would I expect anyone, let alone Grey's, to understand that prepetuating these types of stories is inherently damaging to queer people? They wouldn't know. The cishet fandom wouldn't know. Because no one is writing grey's in a queer, poc centric way.)

Which drives me to the next point: you know why Nico doesn’t get character development even though he showed up at the same time as Link? Because of ✨racism ✨. Because Link is a more conventional character (read: white) that is easier to write because nobody on this show knows how to write an Asian character anymore, let alone a gay Asian character. So of course, nobody wants to touch that shit even with a pogo stick. (Argue with me that Cristina exists and I will tell you, yes she did, but they RARELY touched upon her cultural and ethnic background. Also it was the early 2000s. Cristina was as ground breaking as it got for us Asians back then.)

And then because Nico isn’t developed enough, we have the weird phenomenon of people shipping everyone and their dog with Levi and it’s like, y’all know you got played by the racism game, right? You are hostages to this system that has taught you that white men are more desirable and deserving of story and humanity than a poc character who is instead, reduced to nothing but sex appeal and if he’s not doing well on that front, then he’s useless.

How many times does Levi say: Nico is so hot! Sex with Nico is so good! He’s a roman statue!

All!! the!! time!! Nico's worth to Levi’s character is to be the sex object that Sets Him Free. 

Which plays into the sexualization of Asian people which all comes from, you guessed it! Racism! (Levi really compared Nico to a fucking lifeless slab of stone.)

(Side note: I do think talking about how racism plays into Nico’s character and the fandom space is important and probably a separate post. I’m happy to write my opinion piece on it if it’s something people want.) 

But anyway, those are just some of my qualms with schmico, grey’s anatomy, and the fandom. I do not expect anyone to fully agree with me and I’m not asking the fandom to change or apologize or whatever. I’m just already grateful if you took the time to even read this post. 

I’ll leave with some parting advice: fandom is what you make of it. We won’t all agree with everyone’s hot takes, but that’s the beauty of it, yeah? So I chose to create this version of Nico Kim that brings me IMMENSE joy. Like, A LOT!!! I love this fandom for these reasons. I’m grateful everyday for the friends I’ve made and the works and creations I’ve created and I’m honoured to be able to consume other works made by fellow fans. 

I might hate a lot of things about grey’s and schmico, but I really owe a lot of myself to this fandom. 

[nozomijoestar]

Some words on KumiRei since I’m in another Hibike renaissance and can give time to how I feel I don’t agree 100% with any major camps on how its perceived in the anime though I do consider it romantic 

First off I believe KumiRei is not only romantic as a WLW, but both characters are aware of this romantic nature they don’t show anyone else, they are not in full denial nor are they just friends- instead its a complex weave of the two, and they act accordingly

Neither do I believe either is heterosexual but rather Bisexual (Reina) and questioning Lesbian (Kumiko)

I’m drawing from deeply personal experience on it which is part of why I think this way regarding them so in saying that I think the issue is people are too used to formulas when viewing media, if A is seen as true then it must lead to B then C and maybe D and so on, but while I’ve been guilty of the same I think that’s a limiting way to view/engage with art, love doesn’t have to follow the old They confess, Everything is fine in the end, They get married, They have babies etc. path

There’s nothing wrong with liking that concept but when you fixate on holding something to a rigid standard of expectations, then you’re missing other perspectives and bigger pictures, you’re kinda locking yourself away from accepting life is made of lives not just your own, experiences not just your own, and how you choose to deal with those lives and yours (See only the tree, miss the forest and so on)

Hibike! is a show dedicated to human interpretation and expression in all of its characters and their intricate relationships so applying formulas to it to me is inherently missing the point to paint it as something its not trying to be (and reading it as strictly heterosexual is ignorance of an lgbt perspective)

All of that out the way and being said, every Kumiko and Reina interaction is a progression of romance that has the complication of being between two girls in a contemporary setting; every word, every silence, every touch or look is framed as openness for two people who’s entire foundation is struggling to find a place among humanity and peers and even initially toward each other, they have a defined separation between how they see themselves as together, as one, with a completeness they show others only in shades, so that every gesture they make as people with others has consideration they practiced and established first between each other, they are the genesis for a measure of each other’s overall humanity

Kumiko shoots higher because she sees Reina live it; Reina humbles her pride for empathy because she saw Kumiko try it, the list goes on and has been said by many- Kumiko is Kumiko near Reina and Reina is Reina near Kumiko, no gimmicks no tricks no hung up reservations on trust like there is with others, they simply are together and that is so hard to achieve, to be understood

People get caught up on Reina’s unreciprocated (thank god jsdifsj Edit: i rewatched the scene where Kumiko tells Reina she's rooting for her after learning Taki's wife died and I love the sentiment but that's still fuckin gross and I'd really like the entire Taki crush situation squashed completely in S3 whatever form it takes- I get they're teenagers so they don't know better and that kinda thing does happen (I know from personal experience even) but it's still wrong) feelings for Taki-sensei as they do the Shūichi + Kumiko situation then think that means KyoAni has no concept of homosexuality for not depicting the expected formula cishet couples (and Yuri as an exploitative genre) depict rather than remember that for now and for most including myself lgbt relationships are not part of the accepted normal and so can't be compared nor should they be expected to integrate in the exact same way to be valid- and Kumiko and Reina themselves seem to operate on knowing this which lends them an air of sadness to a degree because they can't (for Kumiko and her CompHet/Side that dislikes upsetting people which I feel lead her to accept then leave Shūichi's romantic interest even more so because in the end being in love with him isn't who she is and walking away there is growth on her part) be their entire selves and act in more intimate ways on their homosexuality than they already are

They know their closeness is special to them, their attraction is special, they know it's not how they treat other friends, and they know by how they keep treating each other that it's a level of romance especially in the way they say This is a confession of love not just in having said such a thing, they're not in denial enough to stop being as they are together but they are struggling to reconcile and build on how they see their other relationships which includes the men in their life and social expectation given their lgbt sides in their identities, not just because the series treats them as people but because they're teenagers (I feel like people forget they're kids all the time), and no teenager ever has all of themselves sorted out at their age even more than most adults, teens should be allowed to safely explore what the hell the world and other people mean for them to discover themselves and that's what I think is happening

When I was their age I didn't consciously realize my best friend was the love of my life since we were 11 in my eyes because of denial and fear to act on it or take a chance on my intensity being reciprocated, instead I loved her more than I loved myself while still having crushes and being in love with other girls all the time- even as she and I had what I felt was the same level of intimacy, love, and openness, we even entertained the idea of growing up to live together and it was only as an adult that I finally looked back and saw what she told me she already knew about me being in love

Reina and Kumiko canonically mull over the idea that they'd be separated as time goes on, and I think the observation shouldn't be When will they be a couple but rather They're too scared of going all the way as a couple for life to pull the rug from under them, they are for now in love and guarding it, preserving it with the last bit of distance they possess in themselves, and the question is when will they be comfortable enough to not need that fear

Human relationships are complicated and multilayered and can never be fully defined by set order and if the show accepts that then it's how I want to see it

[raavenb2619]

Hi, if your still taking ask, I'd like to ask about gender.

I'm amab and I use he/they, I heard about demiboy and it sounded exactly like me, but it didn't feel right. I feel weird identifying as not cis because I don't have dysphoria. I know you don't need dysphoria to be trans. Maybe I'm just gender nonconforming? But I don't feel wholly like a man?

I guess I feel like transness itself isn't a valid option for me because I don't have dysphoria but I feel good when people refer to me as they

So I guess the big question is how do I work through whats left of the internalized transphobia and the transmedicalism that was ingrained in me when I first became active in the community?

So if this is incoherent and rambly

There are a lot of reasons I think making dysphoria a requirement of being trans is a bad idea. 

On a personal note, I don’t want my existence as a trans person to be inherently defined in terms of negative experiences; isn’t the idea of Pride that instead of believing that your existence is inherently negative and bad and shameful, that you can believe it’s something positive, something valuable, something worth being proud of? Being trans is a positive experience for me. I like being trans, and I’m proud to be trans, and I don’t want anyone or anything to take that away from me. 

I’m a trans person who has dysphoria, but if dysphoria was a requirement of being trans, it’s possible that I wouldn’t have realized I was trans until a lot later than I actually did, because dysphoria can be subtle and confusing. Sometimes I’ve been dysphoric about something, and then for no discernible reason, it’s disappeared and doesn’t bother me anymore. Sometimes I’ve been comfortable with something, but then I hear that someone else is dysphoric about something, and then I start being dysphoric about it. There are things that I’ve been dysphoric about for pretty much as long as I can remember, but before I was trans, I had convenient excuses for them. “Oh, everyone’s like that. Oh, that reflexive behavior you’re barely conscious of doesn’t mean anything.” It was only after I realized I was trans that I understood that I was feeling dysphoria. Without that additional context and new perspective, my dysphoria was just...noticed but unnoticed. 

I don’t think gatekeeping is in the interest of the trans community. The idea that a nefarious cis person would pretend to be trans for personal gain is pretty unrealistic. (Like, most cishets are super uncomfortable when someone thinks they might not be straight, let alone not cis.) But if there really are some nefarious cis people who want to pretend to be trans, they could just claim to have dysphoria, so gatekeeping is completely ineffective at stopping the hypothetical cis invaders. On the other hand, gatekeeping dysphoria would probably lead to kicking people out of the community who need support. If you definitely experience dysphoria, but not as much as other people, are you still “trans enough”? If you experienced dysphoria, but you transitioned and took steps to get rid of your dysphoria, are you still “trans enough”? Whoever answers these questions wields enormous power to withhold support from people who likely need it. The whole point of a community is that we’re stronger together than we are apart, so why should we turn on each other? 

I think prioritizing dysphoria could put pressure on trans people to transition in ways that aren’t necessarily comfortable with. Dysphoria can take many different forms, and people have different ways of coping with it. If you and I are dysphoric about the same thing, but I transition a small amount to cope with it, and you transition a large amount to cope with it, that could lead to people saying I’m not “really” trans because I “clearly” don’t have “real” dysphoria, because any “real” trans person with “real” dysphoria would have to transition a larger amount. In that scenario, I have to choose between the transition that manages my dysphoria in a way that’s right for me at the risk of losing my community’s support, and transitioning in a way that I’m “supposed” to so that I can “prove” that I’m “really” trans. I think that’s a terrible position to be in, because transitioning should be about what’s best for you, not for other people. Trans people already have to deal with cis people telling us how we should look and dress and act, so why should we have to deal with trans people telling us that, too? 

Saying that trans people need dysphoria ignores our history instead of learning from it. As I wrote in this post, the term “genderqueer” was originally coined by people who wanted to use the term “transgender” but were excluded at the time because of the dominant narrative that only trans men or trans women who had had (or wanted to have) bottom surgery could call themselves “transgender”. A lot of people who felt distinctly non-cis sought out the trans community but were rejected, and I think that’s really unfortunate. Being rejected by mainstream society is hard, but being rejected by someone you expect to have your back can be even harder. If someone doesn’t feel dysphoria, but they’re still seeking out the trans community, I think there’s probably a really good reason for that, and we should welcome them instead of rejecting them. 

Hope that helps, as always feel free to ask for clarification/any follow up questions. 

[rainbowsky]

Final round-up of fan fic asks

I've gotten a few more interesting responses to the fan fic discussion so I'm going to round them all up here. This will be my final post on the topic until/unless there's a dramatic new development, or a particularly notable response I want to highlight. Thanks to everyone who brought their thoughts and experiences to the topic. I hope everyone at least feels heard.

The biggest piece of advice that I would like to offer is for everyone to focus on what they love rather than what they hate. If we all did that, the world would be a better place. Alongside that, I'd like to remind everyone to please support authors whose work you like. It's so important. Give them a kudos, give them a nice comment, recommend their work to others. You never know what kind of grief and harassment they are dealing with to bring you these great stories, and our support means a lot.

This is in reference to previous posts here and here.

Anonymous asked:

With regard to fandom and fan fic issue, my years of experience being part of very large fandoms has led me to believe that big accounts are v important in facilitating and enforcing the general consensus of the whole fandom. Unless there will be big accs who'll remind everyone of being respectful & just not being a dick over other's preferences, nothing will change.

This is also the reason why I think certain solo fandoms have adapted weird and twisted narratives as their general fandom story because no big acc has tried to police them & and say hey pls be rational. Whether we like it or not, in a place where how far voices, ideas, tweets, posts get heard is based on the number of followers you have, big accs will have the power and influence in creating/curating/shifting the narratives.

So, if you want to know why your/our fandom thinks like this in general, look at what big accs are tweeting/posting, look at what ideas & values they follow, look at their preferences or how strongly they react to certain situations. it's taxing and toxic for big accs given the nature of social media these days, but it's also the reality of system, the more followers/audience you have, the more influence you will have.

So to anyone reading this I hope we all practice more restraint and reflection before we post anything. Remember that words, no matter what medium you write it in, will always carry weight.

So true. It is easy - even for myself who spends a fair chunk of time answering people's asks - to forget that people can sometimes be impressionable and what we say can influence people whether that's our intent or not. I get used to thinking of myself as a regular guy just doing my own thing when sometimes my thoughts and words go well beyond where I initially posted them.

I think it's important for us to be careful what we say, and it's equally important to be careful what we take from what other people say. Especially when it comes to big claims. Always get a second, third, fourth opinion and don't be afraid to ask for clarification if something doesn't sit right or sounds confusing.

It's also important to reflect on how our words and actions might affect other people's experience of fandom, and err on the side of 'live and let live' wherever possible. It's great to have our own preferences and to champion them, but we should try to do so in a way that leaves space for other people and perspectives.

The more unique perspectives and the more friendly, open dialog there is, the healthier the community will be as a whole.

There's nothing wrong with encouraging and guiding growth in the particular areas we are interested in, as long as it doesn't step on, oppress or attack those who are peacefully enjoying something different.

Anonymous 2 asked: bjyx fans attacking gdgdbaby for including zsww/lsfy dynamics in an event named bjyx then turning right around and attacking the zsww/lsfy event organizer for excluding bjyx? god, can you hear my facepalm and sigh of resignation and incredulity from over there? im genuinely not surprised that they're trying to drive an entire part of the fandom out by disgusting them (and me) with these immature tactics. i believe what im about to say next will sound quite bait-y and i respect your decision 1/?

should you choose not to post this. but i do know that it is not only me, in fact there are many out there, that is of this opinion. we just dont talk about it on twitter to avoid the potential mess it will bring lol. okay, here goes nothing. (do note that im talking about the majority here, not every single person is like this) so bjyx fans tend to be cishet females whereas zsww/lsfy fans are more diverse in terms of age and gender, and most of them are part of the queer community too 2/?

i would like to clarify that most of these zsww/lsfy fans are not dynamic exclusive (in the sense that they are friendly and interact with all ggdd fans) they just prefer to "identify" themselves as zsww/lsfy fans (on twitter specifically) just to form a distinction from bjyx fans who mostly are dynamic exclusive (as in; they do not consume non-bjyx content, and straightup refuse to interact with non-bjyx fans, often blocking them). as a result, id say that the zsww/lsfy communiy is way more 3/?

mature and respectful (after all, they're mostly queer people talking about a queer ship) whereas many problems in this fandom, such as the homophobia, adamantly insisting on "drawing lines" between dynamics, stem from the bjyx exclusive fans, comprised of cishet females who "may not know better". so, it is of no surprise to me that they're resorting to these immature tactics of calling gg unsavory names, and organizing retaliatory events with controversial topics in an attempt to "purify". 4/4

I trust that you have arrived at that theory through your own experience and observation. I haven't personally spent much time immersed in this stuff so I can't claim to have any real insight or expertise. If you say that's your experience of it, then at the very least that's how you've seen things up to this point.

I just want to say that I think we should always be careful about making assumptions about people's age, gender/gender identity, etc.

There are plenty of good reasons to avoid doing that; because those assumptions could be very wrong, because those assumptions are often laced with ageism, sexism, etc., because those assumptions - even when correct - might not be an accurate basis for the conclusions we draw.

But the primary reason I recommend avoiding those type of assumptions is because anything that enables us to clump a group of people together in our minds like that will tend to make them easier to demonize and dehumanize. They are no longer individuals who are each responsible for their own unique perspectives, they are now 'the X group' who is known for 'A B C series of easily attackable ideas or behaviors'.

If we attribute undesirable traits and behaviors to a group of people we feel opposed to in some way, that makes us feel more righteous and justified in behaving unfairly toward them, dismissing their humanity and warring with them. It's just risky behavior to engage in, even when it's well-intentioned.

There might actually be some truth to what you're saying. It could very well be that most of these people are young, inexperienced, heteronormative, etc. but if that's the case then we should try to use those traits to better understand and empathize rather than to better dismiss and discredit.

Just my two cents on that.

It can be really frustrating dealing with what feels like other people attacking us, trying to oppress us, etc. - especially when there are more of them than there are of us. In my experience the best solutions to that sort of problem are generally the ones that focus on what we are doing and want to do rather than what they are doing that we don't want them to do.

As I am always preaching, we can't control what other people say, do or think. The only thing we have any control over is what we say, do and think (and how we respond to what they say, do and think).

I have found in my experience that the moment I step out of a conflict mindset and instead step into a problem-solving mindset, everything starts to come together. I feel better, my outlook is more positive, I can begin to see solutions and allies rather than problems and enemies, and most of all, I become more focused on what I am doing than what others are doing.

So I would recommend everyone who is invested in resolving these conflicts focus on that. "How can we best showcase and encourage the types of stories we enjoy?" instead of "How can we stop these other people from doing things we dislike?"

Anonymous 3 asked:

Hello again! It’s anon #3 from the fanfic post. I really do appreciate reading your thoughts on various issues like this, so thank you for always taking time to write in depth. As for supporting without going to war, the simplest way has always been to just show appreciation for the creators, hype them up. Kudos are the easiest way on ao3 but comments in addition are great. This goes for all content—art, fics, vids..etc. Creators love to see and read how people react to their content. Sharing is also great, fic recs are very helpful, just be cautious with art and reposting though. Hope this helps a bit!

Thanks so much, Anon. I think this is excellent advice. And it's true that appreciation is great, but helping to expand the audience is also great. Recommending stories, pointing people to the pages/websites of artists we like (as opposed to reposting), sharing our own ideas and approaches, encouraging people to try new things... all of this helps build healthier communities.

And here's another one: WRITE! DRAW! CREATE!

I urge anyone with creative interests or talents to bring their voices to the community because we all can benefit from hearing from you.

Thanks again everyone for sharing your thoughts on this issue. I hope that over time we can all work in positive ways to improve the situation.

I think this subject has been well-covered now so I'm going to retire it for the time being. If anyone still feels they want to discuss it further please feel free to message me privately. Thanks.