#I’m actually not gonna tag this because I think it’s just become a rant

[bonkobarnes]

As we recontexualize Becca and Cam’s hookup in ep 3 it’s important to remember Cam still is not comfortable in her queerness. Yes “it’s okay to feel that” might be loaded with many meanings, but one of them is still blaringly ‘it’s okay to feel attracted to women’

[frootiest-loopdee-doo]

Fop Peri fic concept incoming

I’m just gonna start posting the fic ideas I get bc 80% of the time I don’t write them, and I don’t mind letting other people have and use them. Hell, you don’t even have to credit me. I’m stalking all the FOP tags so if you write it I’ll see it. I won’t ask for credit, I’ll fucking SAVOR reading it.

Fic idea #1 Dale/Peri

“Peri’s Master Plan” or “I Can Fix Him” is what I’d call this.

First, Peri becomes dev’s babysitter. This can be set before the finale, or it can be au where dev never lost peri, or it can actually be after dev left peri. It just changes the setup a bit. If Peri is still Dev’s godparent he’ll have to be extra careful when hiding all of this from him. If he’s no longer dev’s godparent, this is his way of staying in dev’s life bc he cares abt the little shit!

His reason for becoming dev’s official babysitter even if he’s still dev’s godparent probably would so that he doesn’t have to hide whenever he’s with dev and also because Dale doesn’t screen the sitters ever so Dev probably has had some pretty awful ones.

Basically, dale starts hitting on the “babysitter”. Peri is initially disgusted, as you’d probably expect. He puts up with it though, for Dev.

Peri remembers a romance book about a beautiful female protagonist falling in love with and “fixing” an evil older man, and gets an idea about how he can help dev! If it’s in a human book it has to be something that could actually work with humans right? Why would it say it’s written by a bestselling author otherwise? This is a great idea!

Peri starts to go along with it, flirting with Dale, doing whatever it takes to make the guy fall in love. Peri overtime uses this as leverage to try and teach Dale why child neglect is bad (crazy idea). Dale does fall in love. Does peri? It can go either way. I’d say yes, I think that’s the most interesting way this can go.

Different routes this story could ultimately take, options A. B. and C.:

A. Dale changes for the better, though slowly. Maybe Dev Dale and peri do sort of family bonding. The huge conflict here though is that Peri definitely isn’t allowed to be in a relationship with a human, much less his (former or current) godchild’s dad. Will love prevail? Find out next time on dragon ball z ass fic here.

B. Dale’s treatment of dev seems to improve, and Peri is feeling pretty awesome about that. However, when talking to Dev, Peri realizes that Dale is only being a better dad when Peri is around- basically faking it to keep seeing Peri. Big angst. Peri confronts Dale- and honestly you can go as light or dark on the angst in this confrontation scene. Me personally, I’m depraved so if I ever write this it will probably be as dark as possible (I’m mentally unstable friends!).

C. Peri succeeds for the most part, but he doesn’t love Dale truly. This is eating away at him. He stays for Dev. He’d planned to leave when Dale got better, but as he understands the human condition more he realizes that the odds of Dale continuing to be a better dad are very low if he leaves. Angst, angst, angst.

Obviously Peri would try to hide the relationship from Dev at least at first in pretty much all of these. Dev would probably find out by accident. This could be done differently though, maybe dev knows early on. Maybe peri doesn’t hide it well.

Also, obviously you can take a different route than A. B. or C.

Feel free to be inspired by this rant. Feel free to steal the ideas here. Again, if you do, I’ll probably find it. I’ll probably read it. I’ll probably be very happy. Don’t worry about credit. Actually, don’t credit me even if you want to 😭😭😭

[petrichormore]

(It’s time for a 4halo ramble and analysis into their current relationship! Everything that follows is about the characters, I’m not using the q! because I’m lazy. I also want to repeat that while I am a 4halo shipper this entire rant is me explaining why I don’t want them to get together right now or anywhere in the near future. I don’t really consider this 4halo neg but let me know if you want me to tag it as such - they have the chemistry and in a distant future I could see it - but the fluffy 4halo that everyone seems to be imagining right now? I can’t see it happening. Toxic 4halo is another story entirely though and not what this ramble is about)

Okay you have been warned (THIS IS LONG):

not saying I’m not a huge 4halo enjoyer because. I am. But I do hope they don’t actually “become canon” or get into a relationship for the foreseeable future. Because the only realistic way that will end is in a giant, heart-wrenching break-up after like. 2 weeks. And I don’t see the ship recovering from that I’m gonna be honest.

Look. They can barely communicate as they are right now, any kind of committed relationship between them would end in fire and brimstone - especially when you take into account the power imbalance that is already causing problems.

Forever has not apologized for jailing Bad, even though Bad has asked for it (a rare show of communication on his part) and he might not apologize ever because he thinks he’s in the right. Somehow Cellbit is the only one to have apologized despite being the one calling for Bad’s head the most during the actual furniture incident. Anyway, Bad knows Forever thinks he’s in the right. And Bad also knows Forever wielded his presidential power to keep him jailed - so if Forever’s not sorry and he believes he was right, what’s to stop him from doing it again - in Bad’s mind, that is. There are actually quite a few things keeping him from doing it again, chief among them being that he doesn’t want to lmao. But Bad wouldn’t know that, would he?

I just- The imprisonment hurt Bad’s trust in everyone so badly that he destroyed every waystone in his base - and he when he found out Pac had someone gotten in anyway, he destroyed the waystone again. I don’t think people understand how long he’s been contemplating doing that. I don’t think people understand how many times he’s decided against destroying his waystones. It takes a pretty big fuck up to get him to do that. It takes a fuck-up of pretty tremendous proportions. And he did that last bit with Pac extremely recently too, which means he hasn’t forgotten.

And that - the whole furniture fiasco - that’s not a misstep that will just smooth over if Bad and Forever just care about each other hard enough. They already care about each other deeply - it didn’t stop the conflict. It’s not something everyone can just sweep under the rug with the power of love and no actual communication. Or at least I hope it’s not. It shouldn’t be. Any relationship the two get into right now will be steeped in distrust and wariness on Bad’s part due to the amount of power Forever can choose to use against him at any moment. And even if Forever hadn’t imprisoned him, that would still probably be the case, albeit to a much lesser extent. But Forever did imprison him, so now Bad’s not only wary of Forever turning on him in a hypothetical sense - he has past experience with that exact scenario. He has reason to distrust. It’s not paranoia in this instance; it’s genuine, rational distrust, which is even harder to alleviate.

By the way, that’s not even taking into account that Bad now knows of the existence of a drug that can brainwash Forever into potentially abusing his power against his own will. Think about how scary we all thought the drug-induced marriage proposals were. Think about how much scarier it would’ve been if Bad and Forever had actually been dating at the time. I’m not going to get into the risus potion here, or what implications it has for Bad’s trust in Forever - or more accurately, the trust he has in Forever’s position of power - because that’s too fucking complicated for my silly brain right now and this is long enough.

So basically: how is a relationship between a president and an anarchist supposed to work? Is Bad supposed to shut up, abandon his core principles, and do whatever Forever wants? When he opposes/attempts to help Forever improve the voting system he’s not being ‘immature’ - he’s acting in perfect accordance with his own belief system. There are points where he does act antagonist in an immature manner but in those instances he is very obviously being dramatic on purpose (and Forever does it as well). Him thinking Forever’s voting system isn’t fair isn’t him being immature, it’s just him being politically opposed. And Forever - what about Forever? Is Forever supposed to throw away his entire presidency? Oh, Bad’s an anarchist so that means Forever has to give up everything he’s worked so hard to accomplish, all the plans he has, all the good he’s desperately trying to do despite the fact that the nature of his position is scaring his loved ones away? He’s supposed to let everyone boss him around? Just because his crush hates government? Really? See, none of these options sounds particularly healthy, but their friendship isn’t even healthy right now so I can’t see them somehow reaching a better alternative.

Idk if you couldn’t tell I don’t like it when people non-jokingly boil down Bad and Forever’s political arguments as something that’ll be solved if one of them gives in or apologizes. Because they won’t. Because neither of them is wrong. Forever was partially right when he told Bagi that nothing he does as president will ever satisfy Bad - Bad is an anarchist, the fact that a government has been forced on him in the first place is already a fundamental problem - and that’s not wrong of him! It’s a genuine difference in beliefs and neither of them is wrong! Bad is not somehow automatically wrong because he’s an anarchist, and Forever is not somehow automatically wrong because he’s the president. Grrr bark woof grr bark, etc… you get what I mean.

(TLDR; if 4halo becomes canon right now it’ll crash and burn instantly and kill everyone on board which I don’t want to happen. Therefore I don’t wish for it to be canon.)

[teecupangel]

Im curious about what is cannon and fannon in the AC fandom. Ive read many different origins for the scar Desmond has, but most people go with Bill being the one to give it to him. Is this because its cannon from a little known source(similiar to the fact that Altaïr can swim, as seen in the 3ds games, but most people make him unable to swim despite the fact) or is it widely accepted fannon? What about Masyaf castle? Ive read some fics about it being an Abstergo facility with the Templars having opened the Library, while others write it is just been left to time. And ofc cant forget Eagle Vision. Is it a unique ability to Altaïr only? Did his father have it too? Did every novice have to master it before becoming an assassin?

There could be others, but these are the facts that im mostly curious about. Thank you for answering. ^^

So I’m gonna break this into sections so I don’t have to think about scene transition or whatever rambling equivalent that has.

Altaïr Can Swim

We all accept that he can’t swim because that’s funny. However, if we take into consideration how Altaïr can swim as seen in his ‘sequel’, this is pretty much the complete opposite of “Altaïr has never been hit” status that he has in the fandom. They both causes desyncing so if we believe in “Altaïr has never been hit” then it’s not that Altaïr can’t swim, it’s that “Altaïr never slipped or fell into the waters” which actually points more to Altaïr being a badass. But we decided that Altaïr not being able to swim is a much funnier idea and went to town with it XD

Bill Being The Reason Desmond Has His Scar

Okay, so ngl, I also liked to write that Bill is the reason Desmond has a scar, either directly or indirectly (I mostly go for indirectly with another kid being the reason why he has a scar but Bill was there ‘supervising’), mostly because I like the plot point that getting the scar is the thing that finally snaps Desmond and got him to leave the Farm ‘randomly’.

Anyway, the canon/fanon blur a lot in this one as there are enough people that believe Bill made the scar as seen by this post.

My thoughts on that is pretty much summarized in the tags I left in that one:

#wait it's official? #or did we as a fandom just collectively saw how bill treated desmond and went #ah yes he's why desmond has that scar #seriously i hc it and it makes sense narratively for bill to be the reason why desmond has a scar #whether from training or by accident #but i don't remember it being even implied in any games #especially in ac rev where it could have easily been added in

To add to that, I’m talking about AC Revelations specifically because of Desmond’s rant in an early scene where he finally shouts at Bill for being a bad father. That was the perfect time to just drop that bombshell of Bill being the reason why Desmond has his scar but we didn’t get that. That’s the main reason why I don’t think it’s canon that Bill is the reason why Desmond got his scar but there’s 3 more scenes in AC Revelations where he could have talked about it, all of them from Desmond’s memories scenes.

I also talked about how I couldn’t find any evidence of Bill being the reason that Desmond got his scar in this post.

But the summary is I tried looking for any information about it in the books, pamphlet, manuals and references I had (I say ‘had’ because I had to leave them back in my old home after I moved due to space constraints TTATT), only focusing on any mentions of Desmond and Bill

Assassin's Creed Limited Edition Art Book (p40-41)

Assassin's Creed The Complete Visual History (p290 -292) - p291 has the line "... Desmond's father, William, adds an element of family drama..." calling it family drama sounds like an understatement considering how Bill and Desmond act around each other

Assassin's Creed The Essential Guide (p14, 66, 161, 218-219, 236, 238, 240) - this book is so weird. P218 says that Bill and Gavin shared the mentor role after the Great Purge, p237 says that only Bill took the mentor role (but didn't call himself the mentor) after the Great Purge

Assassin's Creed Atlas (p159, 165)

Assassin's Creed Encyclopedia (White Version) (p18, 158-183)

Assassin's Creed Encyclopedia (White Version - JP ver) (p18, 158-183)

Assassin's Creed Encyclopedia (Black Version - JP ver) (p17, 113-127) - The Black Version is an older version, only going as far as AC Revelations + The Fall comics, The White Version has up to 3 + Liberation

No mentions at all about Desmond's relationship with Bill in the following:

That short game manual that's inside the game disc for AC1-AC3 (JP ver)

Assassin's Creed Reference Guide (JP)

Assassin's Creed Perfect Guide (JP)

Assassin's Creed 2 Reference Guide (JP)

Assassin's Creed Archive Book (JP)

In conclusion:

The most I got can be summarized from Assassin's Creed Encyclopedia, p182

"... driven, intelligent but emotionally distant father of Desmond Miles..." " ... technically minded man, fully devoted to the Assassins and their cause, whose passion for politics outweighs his responsibility to his family. While William's wife has always been able to deal with this emotional distance, young Desmond could not. Eventually he grew to feel that his father was more of a drill sergeant than a parent and fled the compound, despite his parents' repeated warnings to never leave."

If Bill did directly or indirectly cause Desmond's scar, I could not find it in the official books I have or even on Desmond's or Bill's AC Wiki page.

Unless someone can point out where it officially states that Bill caused Desmond's scar, I believe the whole "Bill is the reason for Desmond's scar" is AC fandom's own Mandela Effect. Most probably something that started as a headcanon (and for a very good reason) and is commonly used by fanfic writers (including me) which has evolved as a Word of Dante that we, as a collective, have mistaken as a Word of God.

Masyaf’s Current Situation

There’s no official note of the current situation of Masyaf in the modern days and I think Ubisoft would probably not do anything about it narrative-wise… I’d honestly be surprised if they did anything about it if they make an AC1 Remake. Now, it’s a bit nebulous if the Templars did manage to get the library but it should be noted that the last time we see Altaïr’s Apple, Ezio let it stay in the library and the ACR novel gave us:

“The bookshop was used as an outpost for the Assassins, and Ezio stored the Masyaf Keys in the chamber where he had found the first key, underneath the bookshop.”

If the Templars got into the bookshop then they’ll find all the keys and would have everything they needed to get into the library.

However…

The Apple would find itself in the hands of Queen Elizabeth I and Mahatma Gandhi before falling into Templar hands.

As far as I can see, Queen Elizabeth I isn’t a Templar so it’s highly possible that the British Empire did their usual ‘finders keepers’ thing and this wasn’t a nefarious Templar plan. So either Ezio got the Apple out of Masyaf and hid it somewhere else that would later be found by someone (maybe John Dee?) or Ezio… just left it in Masyaf?

I wanna give Ezio the benefit of the doubts and believe that he knew leaving it in Masyaf would be such a bad idea so the Apple was most probably transferred somewhere else.

Which means that Masyaf was completely abandoned by the end of Ezio’s era which Ezio would have believed be something that Altaïr wanted to happen.

I realized now I’m rambling further and further away from the actual topic for this section.

In conclusion: we have no idea if Masyaf is abandoned or occupied by the Templars in modern day. I will also add if it’s occupied by Templars, it might be a secret ‘base’ or it’s affiliated with a non-Abstergo Entertainment section of Abstergo because, as far as I can see, Abstergo Entertainment’s headquarters are based on existing Ubisoft headquarters (ex: Black Flag’s Abstergo Entertainment is in Montreal = Ubisoft Montreal)

Personally, I think that Abstergo would take over Masyaf castle either officially or unofficially as a way to show the Brotherhood how they hold one of the most important locations in their history. That’s the kind of power play the current Inner Sanctum would do.

(It would be funny in a ‘that’s fucked up’ kind of way if Masyaf is an Abstergo secret facility that does experimental work with captured Assassins as guinea pigs which they have done in the Philadelphia facility (Fall comics) and Madrid (AC Movie))

Eagle Vision

It was actually never explicitly stated who had Eagle Vision and who hadn’t but it’s noted that humans, in general, have the capability to unlock Eagle Vision although there are humans who has an easier time unlocking it.

AC1 noted that the Levantine Assassins knew about Altaïr’s Eagle Vision but there’s no evidence to suggest that they have it as well. Most of the time, they just tell Altaïr to use his vision without saying if they have it as well or not.

(it’s just personal preference to write that 12th century Assassins, both in Masyaf and Alamut, would have some form of Eagle Vision to show how much the Brotherhood had ‘fallen’ in the modern day. Canon actually points that only a small number of people can access Eagle Vision)

[hanjsquokka]

Manaaa I hope you’re having an awesome day and—I’m here for the ask game hihi: - [ ] 7, 9, 13, 16, 22 + 24 (sorry, I couldn’t decide) 💚

hi tan 💚💚 i'm having a good day, how about you? 🫶🏼 also dw aksjsak i loved answering all of these!! ( ask game )

7. as a writer, what do you appreciate the most when someone is reading your work?

i think this is what every author loves, but i absolutely love it whenever someone gushes over tags/comments/reblogs. after reading that, my day just becomes a little more bearable and i will 100% be giggling and blushing like an idiot because you liked my silly little ideas

9. what new genres/tropes would you be open to writing/reading?

fantasy aus! i have no solid idea or plan, but i definitely want to make an skz fantasy au, preferably like ever after high au. i'm not gonna work on that now lol i have other things i should be writing once i cure this writers block 😂 but that! and a horror/apocalypse concept as well (we're not getting all of us are dead s2 anytime soon anyways 🤷‍♀️). as for tropes, i want to write marriage of convenience & sports romance! AND hanahaki trope, that is just 💔 maybe a fic with no happy ending (?) idk, the possibilities are endless but these are the ones i look forward to as of now

13. if you could choose a playlist for your stories or any fics you have read, what would it be? 

i listen to my # superbowl playlist a lot, a bunch of those songs are my faves!!

16. post a line from one of your works. 

"Hi, beautiful,” he greeted, taking your hand in his. “How was your day?” — bed chem : hjs. i was actually blushing when i wrote this line 🙈🙈 i couldn't stop imagining the scene, okay now im blushing again 😭

22. what is a line from a fanfic you have read that has stuck with you?

He was sure there would be no one else like you in this lifetime. & This is our lifetime. — the bucket list : hjs by @pearbunny . i will never stop ranting about this series, it's so 🫶🏼💔💥❤️‍🩹😫🤭 i love it sm AHHHH. the angst us on point and the plot and everything to be honest, an amazing read!!!

24. what good advice would you give for creativity blocks?

currently going through a writers block. i just hid the docs app on my phone so i wouldn't feel pressured to write anything + turned off my notifs for tumblr. i scrolled through instagram for sometime and found some books to read for the next couple of days when i'm free (instead of writing). i also started cleaning my room lol there's so much dust everywhere (i don't even get where it comes from??). basically just reseting for a while. i might write a few texts fics because those are funny (and im scared that no one's going to interact if i don't post a little 💀).

so to sum it up, i think a reset would be nice! don't open docs or any writing apps, turn off notifications that overwhelm you and take some time for yourself! do something you've been wanting to do for a while and don't stress because writing is supposed to be fun, not freaking you out. words always flow better when you're happy and willing to write 🩷

[gloriousburden]

who am i and what is this blog for?

i’m grace. i don’t really like sharing many personal details, but i will state that i am 18.

i am obviously a loki fangirl, but i also like: the legend of zelda, splatoon, attack on titan, grimes, björk, and more. i do also like other mcu characters as well but i’m just… more normal about them than i am about loki.

like i said in my bio… this is an anti loki series blog, and i am critical of ragnarok as well. of course if you like these things (specifically ragnarok) still feel free to follow. it’s just i definitely won’t follow back blogs that heavily reblog/post series content, blogs that strictly post the variant/do not post anything that has to do with the og loki, and blogs that reblog/post a lot of lokius/sylki content.

and i… maybe i kinda question why a series blog would follow me in the first place since i am so negative about it 😭 if i don’t follow back, know that it’s truly not personal. i just really don’t want any series stuff on my dash. i have my reasons for deeply disliking the series, and i am more than welcome to discuss/debate those reasons. i have many times on my blog using #anti loki series.

(ALSO a lot of my OWN loki rants/analyzations/whatever we’d like to call them are under #loki 💭 which i’ve added the tag on this post. do check that out if you’d like to understand some of my views on loki/the series better, or if you just want to read stuff about loki)

please feel more than welcome to send me an ask/dm about anything at all, or if you’d like to become mutuals! i sometimes forget to follow back others because i get a lot of notifs lol

i do not USUALLY reblog or post any straight up nsft/suggestive content such as smut or suggestive fanart, but if I do… it’s under #suggestive. feel more than free to follow if you do interact with that sort of content.

i don’t have a crazy dni list or anything just obviously don’t be weird

also… i do try my best to hide it, but i sometimes get very defensive/sensitive over loki. if i ever come off as rude when defending him from others who mischaracterize/misunderstand him, i genuinely apologize. he means a lot to me and i tend to get irrationally upset at mischaracterization.

some posts of mine that i think are interesting:

(aka a mixture of posts that are actually interesting, as well as just some of my top posts for easy access lol)

my take on the thanos brainwashed loki theory… [link]

poll on how the fandom would feel if loki from infinity war was revealed to have survived, and had a cameo in a future marvel project… [link]

wondering what it’d be like to be a normal asgardian witnessing all the events our little characters went through… [link]

avengers loki… save me… [link]

thor 1 loki, and avengers loki having the same face a year apart… [link]

that beautiful 6'2 Norse god… [link]

STOP CALLING AVENGERS LOKI’S HAIR GREASY GRRRRRR… [link]

Girl I don’t even know what to call this one. I didn’t even know this was gonna get any notes. I was just saying words. Something something Loki’s eyelids… [link]

Jotun Loki discourse with LOTS of interesting reblogs. Do check them out… [link]

My opinions on Loki’s helms, as well as some info… [link]

Results to a poll asking other anti series blogs how much of the series they actually watched… [link]

This gif of Loki that got like 500 notes for some reason 😭😭😭… [link]

Loki sighting!!! ... [link]

(will eventually add more 😁)

(Loki Imagine/Loki x reader esque posts are under #loki imagine and #loki x reader I’ve been dabbling into that sort of thing recently. Added the tags under this post. Once again, anything suggestive is under #suggestive. So do with that what you will.)

[petorahs]

Keep up the Avendaymaxxing‼️‼️‼️ But I’m glad you enjoyed the idea of that AU and how Avenday could still be a part of it. ^^

Thinking about your Avenday comic with the ship child and—ohh I love how Sunday’s ear wings are bigger now, and I also saw the tag saying that his hair was waist length. He ended up becoming more like his mother, both in appearance and perhaps even attitude… Let’s hope he doesn’t become too much like her though and styles his hair like the “dead mom hairstyle” ahaha, hah.

Ok off topic but I feel the need to rant a little regarding the relationship between Ratio and Sunday. I’ve only seen a few people (including you) talk about this, so I felt like expressing my own opinion on the matter. I know (or at least, would like to believe) that people are mostly joking about Ratio hating Sunday, but I feel like people actually believe that he genuinely hates him when… it’s never felt that way to me. To me, Ratio was more so concerned about Sunday’s mental health, but simply worded it in a more direct/blunt way since that’s just how he is. Even during the 2.1 quest, I never got the feeling that Ratio hated him. Sure, he could have disliked Sunday a bit, but not to the point of feeling genuine hatred towards him. Didn’t Ratio even say that Sunday thought alike to Aventurine, who is someone that we know he’s concerned about? If he’s worried about Aventurine, and Ratio compares Sunday to him, then that kinda leads me to believe he has some concern for him too, but just in a somewhat less obvious way. Again, this is just my opinion though. As someone who loves/kins both Ratio and Sunday, it just kinda hurts to see this mischaracterization 😭

—🪼 anon.

WAHOO yes milfy older Sunday was always gonna look like his mom to me! it was a toss up between that and short, boyish hair tbh, which I still want to draw some day :] (kinda like how some ppl draw modern Neuvillette with short hair!) (although Sunday's canon hair is already pretty "modern"-like iygwim)

and..........................funny you bring up the Ratio/Sunday thing when I was just done calming myself after seeing yet another post about Ratio being Sunday's biggest hater AGAINST MY WILL...! makes my eye twitch.

if it's a joke like you said then i fail to see what's funny 😭 if anything it makes ppl who were neutral on Ratio hate him and those who hated him have even more reasons to, because it depicts the Doctor as having ill will toward someone who he knows needs medical help? it's so weird so-called Ratio fans would mischaracterize him like this! wouldn't they want to highlight the best- or at the very least accurate parts of Ratio's character? that guy? you know? Doctor of Truth? values truth above all else?

I just feel bad for the constant butchering of this dude's character and for Sunday tbh. the things these people twist to fit their narrative. I ranted abt this on the side acc in replies with a friend on why I think they did this but let's just say it's. for petty reasons. sadge.

basically, everything you said. first read-around Ratio's comment for Sunday was so.....normal. he says it like it is but it's not like he's being a hater about it..? sooo fucking weird to me how people get this twisted dude. if anything it's Sunday that has valid reasons to hate the guy for double crossing him, but we know he knows it was all Aventurine. my head hurts. people are so incapable of being normal about these three huh.

I could go on about this specific thing but siiiiiigh. deep breaths. just meaningless internet drivel. classic hoyo fandom mischaracterization. not worth my time. staying in my little internet bubble with people like you who actually get the characters. Deep Breaths...!

(actually off to daydream/draw Veritas being nice to Sunday out of spite......💢💢💢💢)

[siriuslysatorusimping]

I was tagged 😃

So I have a bachelors and masters in applied psych and now am working towards a PhD in neuroscience :) I love love love it with every fiber of my being and I must be a masochist bc I LOVE the academic hazing that is grad school. I’m probably gonna end up teaching and doing research bc I don’t wanna stop being a student. How do Rinko and Gojo feel about grading btw? Hate it. Worst thing ever.

My focus is on brain imaging and stress in a special population of kids who are highly predisposed to developing schizophrenia, but I had to have a lot of training in psychopharmacology and general cognitive and behavioral science to begin with which is why I am so ready to nerd tf out with Rinko studying psych 😍

YOU ARE SO FUCKING SMART. HOLY SHIT. THAT IS SO FUCKING COOL.

Kiko ranted like a dumbass so hi, rest below the cut 🫠

I have a BA and MA in Technical Writing & Rhetoric with a minor in English Literature. HOWEVER. My grad research focus was actually user experience, which was born from human-computer interaction (a psychology major at my old school). Our department had the best user experience professor, so we had a lot of the HCI PhDs in our UX classes. I always loved talking to them and picking their brains. Part of me wishes I had gotten my PhD in HCI or a related field, but I needed out of academia. I fucking hated it. It was also in the height of COVID, which just destroyed all of my motivation for life itself lol

AS FOR GRADING: I FUCKING HATED IT, TOO.

listen.

when i was in grad school, i had 50+ papers to grade every couple of weeks and we had to have them graded within a certain time period or administration CAME FOR US AND IT WAS TERRIFYING.

But one time I left all 50 until the day before I was put on the hit list and I wanted to die. So I chugged two redbulls and proceeded to go on a grading marathon of like, 10 hours.

This AU is feeding my tiny desire to go back to school to keep me from making the giant financial mistake of trying to get my PhD when I know I'll hate academia just as much as I did last time.

I think Rinko will actually semi-enjoy grading, because she's the type who will be so intrigued to see how her students think.

Gojo hates it. But he also doesn't trust anyone else to do it right. Lucky for him, most of his exams are multiple-choice. But since it's physics they have to show their work, and he hates grading that shit because it becomes so obvious that they don't fucking know what they're doing.

(maybe one of the installments will be a cute, fluffy lil grading session where they're just keeping each other company 🥺)

[stillbelievinginfireflies]

So I have somehow managed to delete this post instead of posting it three times now, because I am very talented. That said - hi there @novafire-is-thinking and thank you so much for the tag, sorry it’s taken me so long to reply! Always good to hear from you - I tried to theme my list along transformers too. :)

Rules: List ten songs you’ve been enjoying and tag ten people.

Two Minutes by The Amazing Devil (yt | spotify)

So funny story, I made a DND character initially based off Brainstorm and somewhere down the line he turned into Ratchet. This is on his playlist and effectively serves as one of his theme songs, and reminds me a lot of everyone’s favourite grumpy medic too. It’s one of very few songs that I’ve found that actually fits him, I think, and I definitely am gonna cut myself off here before I go into a rant analysing this song from the perspective of IDW Ratchet.

Angelica’s Room by War is Over (yt | spotify)

This one’s on here for two reasons. First of all, I’m teaching myself guitar, and this is one of the only songs I’ve managed to learn well enough that I can more or less sing and play it at the same time, which of course means I’ve listened to it about a thousand times. Secondly, it reminds me of Chromedome - it’s about growing up and changing from who you used to be, and my favourite lines in it are ‘When you look down on me/will you promise to/forget who I once was/ and know me for who I’ll be?’ and every time I hear them I think of OG Rewind and Domey in the aftermath of choosing not to forget him.

Adhd by Truslow (yt | spotify)

This one’s on my Scavengers playlist, and the title probably gives away who it reminds me of. What can I say? It’s a cheerful song and it makes me smile, very much so like Misfire himself.

Moscow by Autoheart (yt | spotify)

First off, Autoheart is one of my top bands (both because they have wonderful songs and because their singer is one of relatively few artists who stays reliably within my vocal range.) Moscow is on here specifically because the vibes and energy reminds me of the Lost Light crew and the reasons that I love them. Fair warning - it’s really catchy, and I take no responsibility if it gets stuck in someone’s head.

What Have You Become? by MNQN (yt | spotify)

This song is on two playlists: Soundwave’s, and a TF OC of mine who I am not yet quite self-indulgent enough to make his friend but who I nevertheless think would have been a good friend for him. The album art also matches TFP Soundwave’s colour scheme, but that’s not the point - this one is very atmospheric, Tron Legacy type vibes with a fun little added emphasis on internal mutation into something unrecognisable! :)

Conspiracy of Silence by The Swoons (yt | spotify)

Like the song above, this song is on Soundwave’s playlist and another TF OC’s playlist. (Different OC this time - the previous one was a Decepticon general, but this one is for a Neutral-ish Empurata’d ex-medic who has some... let’s call them issues.) Something about the way the song gets super dramatic and then goes quiet is just a really good vibe, I think.

Teach Me To Fight by YONAKA (yt | spotify)

Obligatory song off my Whirl playlist, hehe. Not only is this song great for blasting through headphones when I wanna feel like a badass or quiet rage, it also fits him well. The whole ‘let’s make this public, let’s take it outside’ always makes me think of him meeting Cyclonus and immediately starting a fight with him in IDW.

All Is Well (Goodbye, Goodbye) by Radical Face (yt | spotify)

This one might be cheating a little, since it’s only on a TF OC playlist and not one for a canon character, but I’m throwing it on anyway because Radical Face has some beautiful storytelling with their music and this is my favourite song of theirs. Also, some lines do remind me a little bit of Rodimus (which is fitting, given that this OC is also from Nyon). in particular: ‘So I collected all our plans and crimes/and set them all alight/ The only thing that held me to this place/ You took with you when you died/ So goodbye, goodbye’.

First Defeat by Noah Gunderson (yt | spotify)

This is partially added because Noah Gunderson is sorely underrated and I love this song, and partially because it makes me think of MiniMegs/MagsMegs in IDW. It’s a very sweet, very sad song that I think very much encapsulates the bittersweet nature of the ship for me - the fact that it’s kinda doomed from the start, but that they both care and pay attention to little things and this isn’t a fight they can win but they sure did fight it anyway - I’m gonna stop myself, before I ramble. I really like this song.

Kiss Me by Rob Vischer (yt | spotify)

Aight this one isn’t transformers, BUT I’m adding it anyway, because I’ve been listening to it daily for weeks now. It’s tied into an RP I’m doing for TLOU, and I feel the second verse in my bones every time I listen.

I am henceforth tagging @lovewithagirl @nevershootamockingbird @babblythings @eldritchcorvidae @eldritchjackalope @thetragicallynerdy @rubixpsyche @shakenbaeky @belasupremacy and @orionhong to also inflict your music taste on the world and share some recs if you wanna!!

[justa-smalltown-gargoyle]

this is a rant post, me just unloading my anger so that my poor friends and family don’t have to hear it, this is about Secret Invasion but really Marvel as a whole. Again, this is a grumpy post, and if you’ve come to the tag cuz you’re excited to talk about Secret Invasion, all good, but probably don’t read this post cuz I know the horrible feeling when someone kills my vibe. 

also major spoilers ahead for Secret Invasion episode 1.

What the actual fuck.

No really.

What the fuck.

I was not super excited for secret invasion because the last few Marvel works have been lacking, the last one I enjoyed was Wakanda Forever. It however did not quite hit the spot that Marvel movies usually do.

However, I still tuned in today- watched the episode, not gonna lie, it was slow going. Many people said this was different, more intriguing. To me, it was the same old same old. Literally how the fuck do you mess up an invasion lead by shapeshifters? How the hell do you make that boring? 

It was great to see Fury, Maria and Talos again, but it’s frustrating because we really haven’t had any answers to what he’s (Fury) been REALLY up to all this time. And all this talk about abandoning earth, and “you’re not the same since the blip” because heaven forbid they let Fury keep his swag since he’s seemingly the main character. They really said to make this threat seem legitimate we need Fury to seem in over his head. When has he ever not been??? Just because someone is the main character doesn’t mean we need all their cards on the table as the audience. 

Aside from all those issues, and just being “generic rebel group are evil”, once again. Seems a bit fishy to me- Captain Marvel was so interesting by making them *not* the bad guys, but yet. Here we are.

And then, they fucking killed Maria Hill. 

One, severely under-developed character, who’s beloved, but never had enough screen time since day one. Marketed her as a selling point. and then killed her. Seems familiar to me, a bit too familiar. 

It gives me the same feeling of when they killed Nat for no fucking reason all over again. Idk maybe this time, Maria “isn’t actually dead” and I’m gonna look like a fool but it doesn’t seem like it. I’m tired of them pulling this. It’s a death purely for shock purposes and that is shitty-ass writing. And once again! Killing women to motivate men! Which is the third time they’ve done this, if not more, I’m only counting from Infinity War. 

It’s cheap. All their new content is cheap. And I don’t want to disregard the work that the writers, vfx crew, the actors and set crew and directors are doing- they’re working with what they got. But it’s clear that Marvel is trying to churn out so much so fast that they aren’t allowing time for the creative process, nor are they ever allowing for creativity at all. Once again, Maria Hill is another name in a long list of wasted opportunities by Marvel. 

I used to enjoy these movies so much and I think it’s truly devastating to me, realizing what it’s become and the fact I probably won’t ever experience those feelings again.

I am looking forward to the Marvels film, Daredevil Born Again and a little bit about a few others, but honestly, my hopes aren’t too high.

[mimymomo]

In ‘Lucas on the Line,’ Lucas Sinclair experienced countless bouts of racism and micro aggressions including but not limited to:

Had children run away from him and refuse to touch him because they thought his Black skin color would rub off on them. This happened IN THE THIRD GRADE! And he never told his parents about it!

Calmed his anxiety about being the only Black kid in his homeroom class by coming to the realization that since there was no other Black kids that meant he most likely wouldn’t be bombed

Had to install a camera in his locker because his property got defaced by a glitter bomb

Lost his first and only black friend/mentor who supported him thanks to an ACTUAL MAKESHIFT BOMB being installed in his locker that caused a janitor to go to the hospital for 1st/2nd degree burns (and the white boy who did it barely got punished)

Got teased that the only reason he got on the basketball team was because he was Black

Comes to the realization that he might’ve actually only gotten in the team because the coach has a history of recruiting Black boys for the team regardless of their skill level

Gets called an Oreo (for uneducated: white on the inside, black on the outside) by racist bullies. Erica (who apparently has also been called this) sticks up for him and is the only one who understands what the insult means which means Mike and Dustin don’t know/understand the lengths of how deep the racism Lucas experiences in Hawkins on a daily bases

And these aren’t even all of them! These are just examples I had from the top of my head!

And despite all this happening in the book, “fans” have STILL FOUND A WAY to turn this book about Lucas and his struggles as a Black boy in a mostly white suburban town and his deteriorating relationship with Max and make it about Byler!

The fact that Lucas, one of the only characters of color on this show, can’t have ANYTHING to himself without people using him to push their ships is so aggravating!

He and Erica constantly get shit talked and miss characterized by fans, get excluded/cut out of group shots, and barely get any fanart/fics about them and their struggles compared to the white characters (I could make a whole new post about the terrible way this fandom treats Erica but I won’t do that here). Hell don’t forget that the fandom constantly tries to dispute the racism Lucas received in S2 from Billy was either not really racism, just a moment that Duffer Bros. put in to “ruin” Billy’s character and ultimately can be tossed out and ignored.

The only time I ever see Lucas get any large amount of attention is either due to 1) Lumax (but let’s be honest: 90% of the lumax tag on here isn’t even about them and has now become Elumax 2.0 and most post are people praising ElMax and then being like “oh Lucas/lumax is cute too” in the tags and that’s it). 2) people creating “parallels” of Lumax to their ship of choice (mostly Byler and Mileven) as a way to say that their ship is gonna be canon or 3) to say that he’s bisexual.

And all that is fine and whatever, ship and headcanon things to your hearts content, but if you only care about Lucas if he’s helping push you ship narrative or because you think he’s gay (to the point where some people actually read snippets of the book that talked about Lucas coming to the realization that Black boys like him can be considered attractive and only acknowledge the “queer” reading of the text and completely ignored the big race element that was the main focus), I’m sorry but, that’s not cool. The fact that 95% of the Lucas Sinclair tag isn’t about Lucas himself but white characters like Steve, Eddie, Byler says everything about how the fandom treats him.

I’m just so tired.

Lucas Sinclair deserves the same respect that the white characters get!

I leave you one of my favorite sections of the entire book: Lucas learning to become unabashedly himself:

Rant over.

Edit: in my blind rage I realized I forgot to edit out the Twitter handle. That’s completely my fault. Please don’t hate that Twitter user. I’m just coming back to fix that.

[ghostwithflesh]

Okay yes I’m gonna do a rant and ramble here.

The cynical perspective we’ve grown into living in this very convoluted crazy and dangerous time period is valid, because to be fair it’s honest. But - and this very much includes me as well - sometimes this perspective makes it difficult to believe that real love exists. That things can be good even if it’s not 100% sun and rainbows every single day. I feel like a lot of us have just been trained to be wary of all the bad in the world, and we reject greatness when it takes real, actual work to get to it.

I’ve had a conversation like this before, that you can be fully aware that someone, or something , has flaws, and still love them. Yes absolutely red flags exists and ick exists and yes the world and people can be so fucked up for all these really real reasons and we’re all afraid to believe that love is real because what if it’s a trap. I have a feeling that a lot of people feel this way, which makes it hard to trust someone the second that that person isn’t the perfect image they had in their head. That being said , if you’re in a bad situation I hope you know you’re in a bad situation and work to save yourself from it. Likewise, if you’re in a good situation I hope you know you’re in a good situation and I hope you cherish it, nurture it, grow in it and become better for it.

And what’s funny is that the real work I think is that you don’t always know how a good thing will change you. Especially a crazy thing like a loving long term relationship between two dynamic individuals both growing in their own ways.

My partner and I have been together for now over 7 years. And every year has been a little different and every year we have also been a little different. Better years and less than better years. But I also look at how far we’ve both come. And I think about how crazy one’s twenties can be. And I now find myself wondering what our life would be like in our 40s. I also leave room for the possibility of the universe changing our stories one day because who knows what could happen and what will make us most happy at whatever point in the unknown future. But we also talk about marriage sometimes. And we want a house and we like imagining our future together. And we both seem to really like this little life we’ve made. And I feel really loved and cared for and I hope I make them feel the same way. It’s hard being individual people riding in the same rollercoaster car, having our own experiences on this ride, but there’s also no one else I’d rather do it with.

We’ve been on this ride for a long time now, and I’m not here to tell every story. But I know that if I were to pass one day, I would want them there with me before I moved on to the next one. And I also hope to meet them in the next one.

Idk, I’ve thought about love a lot, even in studies and academic research. I’ve written essays and drawn diagrams and read many books about it. Maybe some time years ago, when I was a different person, there’s a lot of jargon and rationale I would use to say so. But after 7 years and all we’ve been through - all I can say now is : if this isn’t love, then what else could it be?

TLDR: my partner and I celebrated 7 years a few days ago and we also love sweets and being cozy inside and they suggested we order sweets to be delivered to us and I love them so much !! :) *see prev post tags for reference

I love my partner so much :’) has it been perfect, no but it’s real . I love this little life we have I’m so lucky ❤️

[mizunetzu]

Atsumu + Alcohol

If you make him drunk, I will hug you. Also, glad to see you’re back! :>

He’s drunk. Hug me. Now. But ehehe it makes me happy that you’re glad I’m back :,) NOW HERES DRUNK ATSUMU!

Also only @shiny-bun wanted to be tagged sobs reeeeeaaaal confidence booster I know :,)

——————

Atsumu x reader - Sweet, Sweet Lies Called Drunk Miya Atsumu

⚠️warnings - mentions of alcohol through the fic. reader records videos of atsumu drunk whenever he sees him. It isn’t in a sexual way at all; and reader doesn’t touch atsumu unconsentually at all. Just likes to watch him drunk bc he loves him still :,)

Also: FUCKING ANGST. you know it’s fuckign angsty when I got emotional writing it. Also, grammarly proof read it don’t trust it.

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

“I think we should break up.” 

(Y/n) blinked, before down casting his head. He said nothing for a while, before opening his mouth again bluntly.

“...ok.”

Atsumu furrowed his brows. He gripped the coffee mug resting on the cafe table just a bit harder. He certainly wasn’t expecting that answer. “...Ya aren’t gonna ask why? Yer just ok with it?”

“Well,” (Y/n) emotionlessly bit into a small biscuit. His expression was unreadable, blank like a piece of paper. “It’s not like I can change your mind, ‘Tsumu.”

“But...can I at least know why?”

The two went silent. Atsumu pursed his lips, trying to find the words to say while (Y/n) sat there expectantly. Eventually, Atsumu looked back up from his coffee mug.

“S’a lot of reasons, I think. ‘M busy with volleyball, ‘specially since it’s my job now,” Atsumu chuckled awkwardly. It was true, with the Black Jackals, he was being paid to do something he loved. “And...I...”

“I think I found a girl I really like.”

(Y/n) looked down at his lap numbly. He already knew it was coming, he wasn’t blind to the faint lipstick marks Atsumu tried to wipe away when he came home, or the smell of expensive perfume that stained him when he would come back from ‘practice’. He knew, he knew yet...

“Ah.”

Was all he could say.

——

Atsumu downed his third can of cheap beer, hissing loudly and slamming it down on the bar.

“I hate life! M’gonna fuckin’...! Run away and shit!”

Sakusa hummed. “Oh no. What happened now.”

Loud, irritating club music blared through the bar’s speakers. Atsumu slumped over the counter, making Sakusa and Bokuto lean back.

“Oi! ‘Tsum-Tsum! What’s wrong buddy?” Bokuto poked repeatedly at Atsumu’s head, making him groan and pathetically try and flick his hand away.

“M’...M’so sad...” Atsumu whimpered. Sakusa rolled his eyes while Bokuto frowned. Atsumu continued to mumble sadly into his arms until he slowly became more agitated, and whipped his drunken head up. 

“Shoyo’s got a nice boyfriend! That fuckin’...Kodzuken youtuber dude! Why can’t I! If I were Shoyo, I’d be laying on my boyfriend’s lap and bein’ all cute and shit —but here I am! Fuckin’ drinkin’ and bitchin’ and fuckin’...fuck! Fuckin’ Shoyo! Fuckin’ Kodzuken! Fuckin’—”

“But didn’t you just break up with that girl you were seeing for like, months now? Thought you were straight, man!” Bokuto said, playing with the little garnish on his drink. Atsumu deadpanned, swallowing thickly before letting his head thump down onto the table. 

“Thought I was. M’gayer than if unicorns shat me out.”

Sakusa sipped on his fancy, green drink. “Is this about (L/n)-san, again-“

“‘Course it’s about (Y/n)!”

Atsumu waved at the bartender to grab him another drink. The bartender looked him up and down, before shrugging and leaving off to grab another beer. Sakusa looked at Atsumu with a disappointed expression.

“You do realize that every time we drink, you get shit-faced drunk, complain about (L/n)-san, call (L/n)-san, then he picks you up and you wake up in his house because he’s too nice to refuse to pick you up. And you regret and bitch to me every single time.” Sakusa closed his eyes and took a long sip from his drink. “Honestly I don’t know why I still come with you guys if I know it’s gonna end up like this.”

“Hey! ‘Tsum-Tsum has his problems and he’s just letting them out!” Bokuto defensively waved his arms around, gesturing to Atsumu on the table, laying down his head in his arms. Both Sakusa and Bokuto were pretty sure he was ugly sobbing. Or at least babbling nonsense that sounded like sobs.

“He can’t even sit up straight. And Miya-san was the one who broke up with (L/n)-san for another girl. He has no right to be complaining.”

“S-Still! ‘Tsumu’s the homie! Let him rant!” Bokuto chugged down his drink. 

Sakusa fished his phone out of his pocket. He scrolled down his list of contacts, before clicking on one that read ‘(L/n)-san. (Atsumu’s pick-me-up)’. The phone’s screen turned black, displaying (Y/n’s) profile pic with a ‘contacting...’ right under it in fine print. 

“Sure, Bokuto-san. Whatever you want.”

——

“Fuckin’...let go of me, Omi!” Atsumu slurred. He, however, made no attempt to push Sakusa off as he dragged him outside the bar. Bokuto had long gone, and Atsumu was a few drinks overdue for his trip home. 

Sakusa sighed, standing out in the cold with his mask pulled up to his face. Atsumu lolled his head onto Sakusa’s shoulder, either in an attempt to push him off or just pure drunkenness. “Don’t drool on me, Miya-san.” Sakusa cringed.

Atsumu was about to retort back, until both his and Sakusa’s attention was drawn to a home-y, black car that pulled up right in front of them. The driver’s door clicked open, and someone in a baggy sweater and sweatpants emerged from the car. 

“Please take him, (L/n)-san. I’m sorry for always calling you to-”

“It’s fine!” (Y/n) chuckled, opening the passenger’s side door for Sakusa to throw Atsumu’s body in. “‘Tsumu’s been drinking a lot, huh? Isn’t this the third time this month I had to pick him up?” 

Atsumu groaned when Sakusa clipped in his seatbelt. He sighed when Atsumu began tugging at it like a child, not knowing how to unbuckle it himself. “Actually, it’s the fourth time. But he has a reason today, I think.”

“He finally broke up with Yumena-san.”

Breath hitched in (Y/n’s) throat. He covered his shock up with a smile, however, and closed the car door with Atsumu in it. “Aw. Well, I better uh, drive him home, now. Bye-bye, Sakusa-kun.”

Sakusa nodded. (Y/n) stepped into his car tentatively. Ignoring the way Atsumu was still tugging at his seatbelt, he started up the car, and drove. 

“I’m...sure you won’t mind sleeping over at my place again...right, ‘Tsumu?” (Y/n) mumbled, more to himself than to the drunktard sprawled out onto his car seat. He silently unlocked his phone, tapping on the camera app and propping his phone up on his dash. He hit record, and withdrew his hand back to the steering wheel. Atsumu eyed it suspiciously, before shrugging it off sleepily.

“Naaaah…” Atsumu slurred. He threw his head haphazardly onto the armrests separating his seat from (Y/n’s), trying to get as close to his ex as possible. “Yer apartment smells good...I miss it...I miss you…”

Shifting so he was still laying on the armrest, Atsumu tucked his arm under his head like a pillow. “Yer so...pretty…love you so much...”

(Y/n) pursed his lips. Atsumu smiled dumbly, pointing a finger gun at (Y/n). “We should-you and I should like, totally get back together n’ shit…” Atsumu stopped, letting out a hiccup, before continuing. “I miss you...n’ I love you…”

Stopping at a red light, (Y/n) looked down at Atsumu, who was staring back at him with half-lidded eyes. (Y/n) averted his gaze, chuckling awkwardly. “...You don’t mean that. You’re just drunk.”

Atsumu shot up. “But I do! M’so sad without you!” Atsumu loosened his seatbelt enough so he could rest his face on (Y/n’s) forearm. “You were the best thing in my life, n’ I need you back! I love you so muuuuuuch!”

(Y/n) stayed quiet for a second, glancing at his camera pointed directly at Atsumu nuzzling his face into his arm. He slowed the car to a stop, taking out his keys and pressing the ‘Stop’ button on his phone. He slipped both of them into his pockets.

“We’re here. C’mon, get up.” (Y/n’s) voice was barely above a whisper. After sitting in his car for a while, he finally got up, and walked over to the other side to haul Atsumu’s corpse-of-a-body out of his seat. “Fuck...sometimes I wish my apartment wasn’t on the third floor-’Tsumu! You can walk if I support you, right? I’m not carrying you.”

Atsumu pressed all his weight against (Y/n). “What if I want my boyfriend to carry me like a princess n’ shit…”

“I’m-” (Y/n) swallowed. His voice was quiet and shaky again. “I’m not your boyfriend. You say stupid things when you’re drunk...”

Atsumu was about to protest, when (Y/n) looped his arm under his own arm. 

“Let’s go. You need rest.”

The walk to (Y/n’s) apartment was silent.

——

Atsumu pouted, eyeing down the way Kenma was showing a video on his phone to Hinata and smiling. Hinata grinned widely, his eyes glued to Kenma’s phone screen until an obnoxious sigh drew his eyes away. 

“Why’d ya even invite me here...M’just third wheelin’ on yer guys's little date time.” Atsumu frowned, dramatically slumping in his seat. Kenma hunched his shoulders down, suddenly becoming very aware of the way Atsumu not-so-subtly stared him down. He brought his coffee cup to his lips, trying to hide behind the cup itself. 

Hinata defensively wrapped his arms around Kenma. “Oiiiii! We invited you over because you always get super-duper depressed after waking up hungover at (L/n’s)!”

“I’m more depressed now that yer all cuddly-wuddly with yer frickin’ boyfriend while m’sitting here with my single ass!”

“Miya wakes up hungover at (Y/n’s)?” Kenma quietly asked Hinata. He nodded. Atsumu started flailing his arms around, trying to get Hinata to stop talking, but he didn’t seem to take the hint.

“Every time he goes drinking, he ends up crying about how much he still loves (L/n)—and ends up either calling him or someone else calls him to go pick him up. Either way, he wakes up super embarrassed and awkward in (L/n’s) bed and sulks the rest of the time at practice.” 

Atsumu sat there, feeling like he’d been shoved to the front of a volleyball court completely naked. Kenma blinked, before looking down again.

“Oh.”

“That’s all yer gonna say-!?”

“I guess it kind of makes sense, now.”

Atsumu stopped mid-sentence, looking at Kenma with a confused expression. Kenma tried to dodge Atsumu’s eyes again, this time tugging on Hinata’s sleeve.

“...What makes sense now?”

Kenma had the look of ‘I said too much.’, trying to change the topic or hoping Hinata would swoop in and change it for him. But alas, no such thing happened. “I don’t think (Y/n) would…”

Hinata suddenly tugged back at Kenma’s sweatshirt, gesturing to turn around with him for a private conversation. They both turned their heads, mumbling out little ‘video-!’, ‘(Y/n)-!’ and ‘Atsumu-!’s here and there. Atsumu glanced from Hinata, to Kenma, before pouting that he’d been left out of the conversation.

Eventually, both Kenma and Hinata turned around again, looking directly at Atsumu. He stared back at them with doe-like confused eyes, when Kenma fished out his phone. 

“If we show you, you promise to act like you never knew at all?” Hinata childishly extended his pinky finger out to Atsumu, to which he nodded vigorously and hooked his own pinky with his. Kenma piped up.

“The reason I said it made sense was because I found a folder in (Y/n’s) phone titled, and I quote: ‘Sweet, Sweet, Lies called Drunk Miya Atsumu (watch when sad)’. They’re filled with video’s of you, drunk, blabbing about how much you love him.”

Atsumu stared at Kenma.

“Yer fuckin’ lyin’.”

“I’m...really not.” Kenma turned his phone screen around, displaying a video filmed in what seemed to be (Y/n’s) car. Atsumu leaned down and peered at the video, seeing his head frozen in place in the corner of the screen. Kenma felt around for the play button, tapping until it started playing. 

Atsumu watched the video in horror, his face going milk white as he watched himself cry and sob about how much he wanted to get back with (Y/n). Right in front of him. The video ended, and Atsumu looked up with the hope of getting hit with a bus. 

“How...did you get-”

“I airdropped this one to myself when (Y/n) was in the bathroom one day because I found this one funny.” Kenma mumbled, turning his phone around and inspecting the screen. “There’s millions of them on his phone, this one isn’t even the worst. Some of them are in his apartment when he’s trying to get you into bed, and I think there’s one where you beg him to cuddle with yo-”

“Stop! Stop! No more!” Atsumu covered his face, embarrassed. Kenma let his mouth fall shut, while Hinata snickered into his drink. Atsumu let his head smack onto the table. “What did I do to deserve this…”

“Hey!” Hinata quipped, his positive voice making Atsumu’s brain hurt. “You know what that means, right?”

“That (Y/n) probably wants blackmail or revenge on me for breaking up with him?” Atsumu grumbled into his hands.

“Wh-no, what,” Kenma said. “He means-”

“(L/n) still loves you! I mean-he saves videos of you saying you love him to watch when he is sad or lonely or whatever, that means he loves you still! It was even in the title!”

Atsumu glared at Hinata like he was squinting at the sun. Kenma shrugged. 

“S’true. He told me himself he watches them when he goes to sleep n’stuff.”

“Yer lyin’.”

“Was he lying when he showed you the video?” Hinata raised his eyebrow. 

Atsumu opened his mouth, before letting it clamp shut and shaking his head ‘no’.

——

Clinging to his side like a kicked puppy, (Y/n) found himself nursing a drunk, sobbing Atsumu at his apartment once more. 

“Tsum-” (Y/n) struggled to stick his key in his door’s keyhole with the way Atsumu was quite literally hanging off him. It was like he was trying to pull (Y/n) to the ground with him. “Atsumu! I’m trying to-”

“Don’t leaaaaave meeee! I love you!” Atsumu sobbed. He wiped his messy face onto (Y/n’s) jacket. 

Finally sticking the key inside and turning it, (Y/n) pushed open the door and patted at Atsumu’s ruffled hair. “I’m not leaving, ‘Tsumu. Just taking you to bed, is all. We’re still...friends...I think.”

“Don’t wanna be your friend.” Atsumu sniffled, as he staggered into (Y/n’s) room with the support of his body. He was thrown on the bed with a loud groan, as (Y/n) went to grab his phone. “We were meant to be together...boyfriends...soulmates…!”

“I wish you meant that,” (Y/n) chuckled, setting up his phone, pointing it at his bed and pressing record. “Gave it up after the fifth time you came here sloppy drunk, though. It really is just you talking out of your ass.”

The hint of bitterness in (Y/n’s) voice increased unsteadily, wavering like a candlelight. “I-I mean, you say all these nice things-then the next morning you either deny everything you said, or leave before I can even say goodbye! Or you don’t even remember most of the time!”

(Y/n’s) disgruntled laugh made Atsumu blink. He eventually simmered down, looking down at the floor and busying himself with searching through his desk. 

“That’s okay though. I have these little videos of your lies to keep me company. I can live with that just fine.” (Y/n) turned to Atsumu, holding up painkillers and setting them atop the desk. “...Sorry for problem-dumping on you, ‘Tsumu. I know you want sleep.”

“Don’t take these yet. They’re for tomorrow.” (Y/n) rattled the painkillers in their box, before producing a water bottle and extending it to Atsumu. He looked at the bottle like it was some foreign object. The water sloshed around when (Y/n) swirled it around Atsumu’s face. “It’s for your hangover tomorrow. Drink up, ‘Tsum-Tsum.”

“Only if you cuddle with me.”

(Y/n) pursed his lips. “No.”

“Then m’not drinkin’ the fuggin’ water!”

“Atsum-!” (Y/n) sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He set down the bottle of water on his nightstand, and rested his hands on his hips. “...If I give you a tiny hug, will you drink all the water and go to sleep?”

Atsumu nodded vigorously.

(Y/n) expected him to stand up and give him a hug, but instead, he opened his arms and sat expectantly, waiting for something to crawl between them. He was so far back on the bed, (Y/n) would probably have to lay awkwardly in his chest until he was satisfied.

So that's what (Y/n) did, after what felt like hours of contemplating and clenched jaws. He bit his lip, climbing slowly towards Atsumu on the bed. Atsumu smiled dumbly, and scooped him up in his arms like a claw machine. 

What Atsumu didn’t expect, was (Y/n) to stiffen up, surprised, before melting into his arms pathetically. He clumsily wrapped his arms around Atsumu’s torso, his body curling into the shape of his own like dough. He let his head slump in the crook of Atsumu’s neck, taking in a shaky, deep breath and sighing heavier than he meant to. 

(Y/n) figured he must’ve forgotten how much he relished being wrapped up in Atsumu’s arms, because he found himself not wanting to let go of Atsumu’s shirt that reeked of alcohol.

Still, after what was probably only a few candid seconds, (Y/n) pushed himself away from Atsumu, who slumped back on the bed confused, and wobbled his way back onto his feet. 

“There…” (Y/n) breathed. He had the most unreadable expression, and his voice was quiet and raspy. “Now-now drink th-the water...you promised.” 

Atsumu shrugged, swiping the water from the nightstand, and chugging it sloppily. (Y/n) went to work removing Atsumu’s socks, pants, and other things uncomfy to sleep in, until he was left in his boxers and t-shirt. Atsumu stared at (Y/n) sleepily, as he grabbed a spare pillow and blanket, and threw them on the swivel chair near his desk.

“...Y-Yer not gonna sleep here with me?”

(Y/n) furrowed his eyebrows, reaching over to stop his phone from recording, and curled up on the chair with his pillow. His voice was meek under the thin blanket he wrapped himself in. “You always ask, and i’ll always say no. Honestly I don’t know why you keep asking.”

“You look cold.”

“I’m...really not.”

“S’comfier on the bed.”

“...I like this chair.”

“I can scoot over-”

“Miya, if I give in and cuddle with you, everythings gonna be sunshine and rainbows ‘til the next morning—where you wake up next to me and regret everything! I’m-i’m trying to save your dignity here so stop asking!” (Y/n) croaked. He clutched his blanket tighter. “You’re drunk! You aren’t thinking! I already gave your-your stupid hug so stop it! How do you think I feel!?”

Atsumu rubbed at his head. (Y/n’s) hot face immediately flushed out, his voice quieting down back into his normal voice. 

“Ah...I’m...sorry. You’re...tired and I probably shocked you with my-by being loud n’stuff.” (Y/n) bowed his head slightly, before shifting away from Atsumu in his little swivel chair. “Sorry. Go to sleep now. Night, ‘Tsumu.”

When he heard shifting on the bed, (Y/n) grabbed his earphones and turned out the light. Plugging in his earphones hurriedly, he switched on his phone, clicking on the photos app and on today's video of Atsumu to cheer him up. He even caught the hug on camera, so he was looking forward to that. 

Dimming his phone's brightness to not disturb Atsumu, (Y/n) scrolled through the video, everything moving in fast-motion until (Y/n) saw himself climb into Atsumu’s arms. He paused the video there, smiling numbly, and taking a screenshot. 

Before he could add the video to the rest of his collection of drunk-sumu videos, he was suddenly hauled up and hanging upside down. He was tossed over Atsumu’s shoulder, not even having time to protest before he was thrown carefully onto his own bed. 

“Hey-Tsu-” Atsumu said nothing, climbing into the bed gracefully after (Y/n) and pulling the covers over the both of them. “Listen to me-! Let me go-!”

“If yer gonna keep sayin’ shit like...like i’ll regret it in the mornin’...fuckin’... let me,” Atsumu slurred. (Y/n) opened his mouth to speak, but Atsumu beat him to it. “S’my fault…’n...m’gonna deal with it in the mornin’. S-so lemme hold you.”

(Y/n) knitted together his eyebrows, looking conflicted on what he should do. He’d been so, so good at restraining himself from stealing hugs and kisses from Atsumu when he was drunk, and his reward was the videos. If he messed it up now, would Atsumu be too embarrassed to let himself get picked up by (Y/n) when he was drunk? Was he really willing to potentially give up future lovey-dovey drunk videos, and seeing Atsumu tell him he loved him for one night in his arms again?

He was. 

(Y/n) relaxed, a numb expression on his face. He was just about done. One last time of drunk Atsumu holding him for a whole night, then it was time to move on. Hell, maybe after tonight, and after explaining to a very-embarassed hungover Atsumu in the morning that “No, we did not have sex,” maybe, just maybe, he would finally delete the videos. The video’s of his ex who didn’t love him anymore, feeding him drunk lies of ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’, and finally moving on with his life. 

(Y/n) ran his fingers through his hair, and let out a tuckered-out sigh. Maybe after he stopped clinging to the past, he could be normal friends with Atsumu Miya again. 

(Y/n) looked at Atsumu with dry eyes. He let himself succumb to Atsumu’s warm chest, breathing in his scent for what could possibly be the last time. Atsumu purred happily, adjusting so he could wrap both arms around (Y/n), using one as a pillow for him and another to wrap around his body. (Y/n) hummed dryly.

Atsumu giggled. “...Love you...so much.”

(Y/n), for once out of all the time’s he’d always respond with ‘No, you don’t.’ or ‘You’re just drunk.’, said:

“I love you too.” 

“...hehe...he…” Atsumu kissed the crown of (Y/n’s) forehead, before nuzzling it with his nose. “I love you sososo much.”

(Y/n) was quick to respond, even though his throat began closing up and making it hard to speak. You could probably tell he was on the verge of tears. “Me too, ‘Tsumu. I love you most.”

“I love you so much…” Atsumu began, this time his voice way more clearer and sober than what he’d been speaking with this whole night. 

“...That i’d pretend m’drunk just to see you again.”

“...”

(Y/n) blinked, not quite processing his words. He shrunk inside Atsumu’s cage-like arms, before timidly meeting Atsumu’s eyes. They seemed much clearer, less hazy from ‘alcohol’, and they stared back at him with it’s usual ‘Atsumu’ look.

“...huh…?”

Atsumu patted (Y/n’s) head. “Yer so cute. I love you so much.”

“Wh-wait-” (Y/n) tried to wriggle his way out of Atsumu’s arms. “You-you’re not-”

“Nope. All I did at the bar tonight was watch Bokkun and Shoyo-kun drink so i’d smell like alcohol. Then I told—well, paid Omi-Omi to call you sayin’ I was drunk again, so I could see what stupid shit I did at your place when I was drunk.”

“Though,” Atsumu nodded at the discarded phone on the ground, next to (Y/n’s) makeshift swivel chair-bed. “I could've just asked to see that video of me. Or the rest of them, ‘coordin’ to Kozume-kun.”

(Y/n) sputtered, trying to find the words to speak, but finding himself too embarrassed to. He’d, finally, been caught red-handed. 

He sighed, casting his head down, before crawling out of his bed and taking the walk of shame to his phone. “...You caught me,’Tsu...Atsumu. Caught me real good, Atsumu.”

(Y/n) scrolled through his phone, searching for the album full of his drunk video’s of Atsumu. He clicked on it, then waved his phone around guiltily. He turned the phone around, peering down at it sheepishly. “Don’t worry, I’ll delete all of these...and I...I can drive you home if you want.”

“Nah. M’pretty comfy here.” Atsumu laid back down. “I’d be comfier if you were in my arms again, though.”

Atsumu made grabby arms towards (Y/n). (Y/n) blinked, searching Atsumu for any sort of satire. He found none, and nervously inched toward Atsumu until he was pulled back into his chest. The phone was, once again, forgotten on the floor. 

“Wheeeeeey, there we go~” Atsumu nestled down onto the bed, crooning (Y/n) in his arms and stroking his head. “Ain’t that comfy.”

He pressed a small kiss to (Y/n’s) forehead. “Love you. Goodnight~”

“...Wait, n-no you-”

Atsumu pressed another kiss onto (Y/n’s) face, promptly shutting him up. He tried speaking again, just to have another kiss placed onto his face. This cycle went on, (Y/n) trying to voice out his protests just to be hushed with kisses all over his face, until he reduced into a pile of hot tears, melting his face off raw. 

Atsumu kissed (Y/n’s) tears away. When more kept coming, Atsumu pulled back, stroking (Y/n’s) hair as gently as he could. Gentle was not a word to describe Miya Atsumu, but he sure as hell would try. 

“Stop cryin’...” Atsumu whispered, kissing another falling tear away. “I came here to win ya back, not make you cry…”

“I-I’m sorry-” (Y/n) sobbed out between hics. “I just- I missed you so-”

“I did too.” 

They sat there, small hics coming from (Y/n) as Atsumu quietly stroked his hair, and in all honesty, they would have laid there forever. But (Y/n) finally wriggled his way out Atsumu’s grasp, timpering his way to his phone. 

He picked it up, fiddling with it, before turning his phone screen around. Atsumu leaned closer. 

‘Sweet, Sweet, Lies called Drunk Miya Atsumu (watch when sad) - 0 videos’

“Deleted them all.” (Y/n) murmured. “Figured I wouldn’t need them anymore now that I got you here…”

Atsumu blinked before erupting into a wide smile. He sprang off the bed and attacked (Y/n) with a big, bear hug. “You bet yer ass you won’t!” 

He peppered kisses around (Y/n’s) face, and instead of crying, (Y/n) began to smile.

“Stop it-that tickles! ‘Tsumu-!” The red tear stains on (Y/n’s) face were barely noticeable under the flurry of kisses he was under. Atsumu grinned stupidly into (Y/n’s) skin.

“Ya know full well you don’t want me to.”

And he didn’t.

Atsumu pressed one final kiss to (Y/n’s) face, this time, and for the first time in a long time: on his lips.

——————

I’m really proud of this 👉👈 I’d like it if I could get a lil,,,reblog,,,with thoughts,,,or comments,,,aha ha ha,,,

Lil thing I found funny

[silversatoru]

Hi, I just finished burdens and OML 🥺🥺🥺

May I request some sort of megumi x reader continuous where the reader ends up becoming a powerful sorcerer (or a cursed spirit👀 whichever you’d like tbh) megumi and the reader somehow cross paths again a little while after the break up and he witnesses her fighting for the first time? I just know that boy would fall in love all over again but she’s moved on and he feels guilty and just angst? And maybe fluff idk. I’m new to requests so I hope I did this right, thank you so much❤️❤️

burdens pt. 2

a/n: hello, part two of this not-so-lovely story is finally here. every single one of you is allowed one free punch to my face for taking so long to write it,,, i’m so sorry. this is its fourth rewrite and it got a little darker than expected but it’s finally done,, i hope you enjoy <3

fushiguro megumi x f!reader

synopsis: you finally see megumi again at the kyoto sister school goodwill event

tags/warnings: angst, some graphic depictions of violence, character death

word count: 3k

“Do you know how tired I am of watching the people I love die? Things would be so much easier for me if you just stayed the fuck away”.

Megumi’s bitter words were on repeat in your head — the harshness of his voice leaving a hollow feeling carved into your chest. Tear-stained cheeks and shaky breathes had become your new normal these past few days. Tight, sharp pains filled your empty stomach, waves of nausea coursing through your body.

You’ve had no motivation to get out of bed lately, nevermind to shower or cook yourself a proper meal — honestly, for all you cared you could rot away in your blanket filled bed. You checked your phone like a fiend too, thinking that eventually, a miraculous text from Megumi would appear and make everything better. It never did.

He’d completely ghosted you since that dreadful day, and that hurt more than anything. You’d held onto a sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, he hadn't meant what he said. But as the days continued to pass, your hope quickly dwindled.

To say your current state was shameful was putting it lightly, and you were embarrassed at how poorly this was effecting you. You liked to think that you were strong, motivated, independent — that you didn't need some douchebag just to feel happy. But truth be told, breakups are fucking hard, and it's okay to not be okay for a while — or at least that's what you kept telling yourself.

So when you were trudging miserably down the street to your local convenience store and you saw a familiar pair of jujutsu sorcerers, you wanted desperately to sink into the ground. You made a quick turn to head to a different shop, but it was too late, you were spotted.

“y/n! hey!” Two lighthearted voices sang through the air, filling your ears and making your heart clench in your chest.

You turned around and anxiously approached them, your unkempt hair and baggy eyes sending looks of concern across their faces.

“Hey girl, you good?” Nobara shot you a sideways glance, Maki raising a suspicious eyebrow.

“Yeah, uh, ice cream,” You croaked, speaking for the first time in a couple days, “I’m here for ice cream, that’s all”.

“Yeah, but why do you look like a fucking zombie?” Maki pushed her eyeglasses further up her nose, her sharp eyes looking you up and down.

“Ah, he didn’t say anything to you guys, did he?” You shook your head, heavy eyes falling to ground as you refused to meet theirs.

“Don’t tell me…” Nobara’s face contorted, “Did he break up with you?”

You nodded, a pitiful chuckle falling from your lips, because if you didn’t laugh, you’d start sobbing right now.

Maki threw her arm around your shoulder, pulling you to her side and ushering you into the store, “It’s okay, men suck. Hang out with us today”.

Meanwhile, Nobara trailed quickly behind the two of you, anger seething from her teeth and steam practically billowing out of her ears.

“That fuckhead! I swear I’ll fuck his shit up big time, he won’t even know what fucking hit him. I knew that boy was stupid but shit, this is a whole new low for him! I-,” She continued to ramble and rant as Maki led you through the store, picking out drinks and snacks to help ease your pain.

The three of you ended up in a nearby park, sitting around a small picnic table and gorging on the massive array of snacks. Lighthearted conversation and lots of food make your chest ache a little less, and you even found yourself laughing and chatting as if things were normal. You’d told the two of them all about that day, about Megumi’s irrational words and his tragic breakdown that led to some kind of fucked-up break up sex.

“So, how are we gonna get back at him? Egg his car? Put bleach in his shampoo? Bugs in his food? God - it’s a shame his dad is dead because from the pictures I’ve seen that man was FINE and revenge sex—,”

“Nobara,” Maki shot her idiot girlfriend a dirty look, and the orange-haired girl quickly shut her mouth, “As much as I support any idea that revolves around ruining a man’s day, I don’t think revenge is the healthiest coping strategy here”.

You were tracing your eyes around Maki’s face as she spoke, and you found yourself carefully inspecting her purple glasses that rested softly on the bridge of her nose. And that’s when it clicked, the light bulb ignited in your head and you knew exactly what you wanted to do.

“Maki,” your voice was urgent, “You don’t have cursed energy, you can’t even see them without your glasses!”

Her face twisted and her nose scrunched, a look of distaste in her eyes, “I know?”

“So, you could teach me, right? You could help me learn how to use some cursed weapons?”

“Yeah! You have to Maki, then she can beat his ass with me,” Nobara chimed in.

“That’s not a bad idea actually,” Maki’s mouth formed an evil grin, “Could you imagine his face after watching you exorcise a curse?”

The three of your conversed for a bit longer, speculating and potting about training, weapons, and your very own pair of curse-seeing glasses. By the end of the night you had a plan, and a pretty good one if you say so yourself.

From that day on, teary eyes and achy hearts were a thing of the past, not because it was that easy to get over Megumi, but because Maki didn’t even allow you the time to feel dismal anymore. You met her everyday after classes without fail, and everyday she would train you until you thought your arms would fall off. After months and months of sore muscles, sweat, and the occasional injury, you were convinced that Maki was incapable of feeling pity or remorse for other living things. Every time you speculated about quitting, she’d set a fire under you, unafraid to remind you how weak you still were.

The green-haired sorcerer had ultimately decided that you worked best dual-armed -- a long, lightweight blade in each hand. On your final day of training, she officially gifted the two swords to you, as a “graduation” gift.

Skill-wise, you were by no means as incredible Maki, but you definitely held your own, and the progress you’d made in a mere 8 months was astronomical. They’d introduced you to a strange silver-haired man at some point, Gojo, who had taken not only an interest in you but also your plot against your ex-boyfriend. He cackled to himself when you told him why you were here, going on and on about how priceless Megumi’s face would be when he saw you.

Your appearance was highly anticipated, so why not debut at one of the biggest jujutsu events all year? The Kyoto Sister School Goodwill Event — Gojo thought it was the most perfect idea.

You tried hard to exude confidence as you walked at Nobara and Maki’s sides, but behind your arrogant facade your stomach was twisting itself into knots. Truthfully, you were scared to see Megumi again after so long.

And when your eyes met with his as you walked into the meeting room, you thought you just might pass out. You thought you were ready for this — but the look of complete shock, fear, and anger on his face as he looked you up and down almost made you regret all of it.

“What’s going on?” Megumi’s words were incredibly calculated, an edge on his voice.

His question was pointless, however, because judging by the fact that you were wearing a jujutsu tech uniform and had two swords sheathed at your sides could only mean one thing. Your hair was longer now too, and your frame was wider with an extra layer of muscle from all the training — you almost looked like a different person.

“I’ve been training with Maki, I-,” You spoke up to explain yourself, but you weren’t even granted the opportunity.

“No, no, Maki, what the hell did you do?” His eyes were shaky and laced with concern.

“I only did what she asked me to. I’m not the one who gave her a complex about being weak, you did that,” Maki shrugged, “and she’s not your girlfriend anymore dude, what do you care?”

Absolute confliction flashed through his eyes, uncertainty and madness swirling in his irises, “You’re right, I don’t care. Let me know when the event is starting”.

He took a sharp turn out of the room and let the door slam a little too hard behind him. The sound of his icey voice and the door shutting with unkind force was all too reminiscent of the night you broke up. Burying every emotion you had deep into your stomach you gave Maki a small, reassuring smile and plopped down on one of the couches.

“Alright, so when does this thing start?”

after the start of the event

Fighting the Kyoto students was proving to be much harder than you initially expected, but you were holding your own at Maki’s side. The two of you had easily taken down a small, kind, blue haired girl named Miwa, and now you were watching an emotional battle between Maki and her sister unfold.

Wait here, she’d told you, I want to do this one myself. Take some notes on my form and watch our backs, okay?

Okay, you’d said, a little confused but ultimately finding a nice spot up in a thick tree to carefully observe from. Maki was truly a force of nature, and it seemed like the other girl never actually had a chance of winning. It was honestly only a few minutes before the small black, haired girl was slumped against a tree and Maki was making her way back to you. Things were looking good, two of Kyoto’s student’s were down already and adrenaline was pumping through your veins.

You couldn't quite shake the awful feeling churning in your stomach though, and Megumi’s face was haunting your thoughts. You hadn’t seen him since before the event started, when an odd, pink haired boy jumped out of a box and freaked everyone out. Nobara had later explained who he was and what had happened, and you wondered how many awful surprises Gojo had planned today -- first you, then that.

A small rumble rippled under your feet, and Maki grabbed your arm as you watched a giant brown vine lurch it’s way out of the ground a few hundred yards in the distance.

“That technique doesn’t belong to anyone from Kyoto,” She shot you a look of concern and determination, “let’s go check it out”.

You gave her a firm nod, the two of you making your way towards the horrifying wooden vines. By the time you managed to arrive, Inumaki was already down and so was a dark-haired boy from Kyoto. A muscular, white curse with black markings and wooden branches for eyes was moments away from taking Megumi on all by himself — thank god you got here in time to help.

Megumi, however, was horrified when he saw you jump over the tall roofed building with Maki at your side. He’d just watched two incredible sorcerers get their shit rocked by this curse, there was no way you would stand a chance against this thing. But before he could even try to stop you, you and the green-haired sorcerer were flying through the air and taking shots at the curse. The two of you worked perfectly in sync, the months of daily training finally paying off.

He watched with intent glazed over his eyes, his heart threatening to lurch up his throat. You were a spectacle, and he always thought you were beautiful but seeing you now with dirt and blood stained clothes, cursed weapons gripped firmly in your hands, you truly were ethereal. He hated it though, he hated that he was falling in love with you all over again, especially under these circumstances. Guilt and anxiety was eating away at him — why did you have to get involved? Why couldn’t you have just stayed away like he told you to?

He was quick to join the two of you, sticking close to your side to protect you if need be — but, even with all three of you together the curse still had the upper hand. Maki had been swatted to the side, her back slamming hard against one of the tiled roofs and knocking her unconscious. It was down to just the two of you now, beads of sweat causing your hair to uncomfortably stick to the back of your neck. This was something that Maki’s training could have never prepared you for.

Megumi was getting tired, taking one wrong step and losing his footing momentarily. The curse saw this as a perfect window of opportunity, sending a spiral of vines and branches hurling for Megumi. It was fast, but the adrenaline coursing through you helped you to move faster, launching yourself through the air and intercepting the attack. The barky, wooden vines twisted violently through your stomach, shooting clean through your back and ripping a violent scream from your throat.

It hurt so bad, feeling the plant wriggle through your organs and tear you apart from the inside out. The curse retracted his vine a few moments later, leaving your mangled body to fall helplessly to the roof. Tears rippled from your eyes, your body shaking and seizing as you coughed up a few sprays of blood.

A long, strong pair of arms scooped you up instantaneously, and your head was resting against a firm chest — probably Megumi, but you didn’t quite have the energy to open your eyes to check.

“We’ll take it from here, get her to Ieiri!” You heard a pair of deep voices yelling to Megumi, but it was too foggy and far away for you to understand what they were saying.

Megumi was seething with anger, moving as fast as his feet could carry him and he ran through the school. As you waved in and out of consciousness, you batted open your eyes, stealing quick glances at his twisted features and — were those tears on his face?

“I- I’m sorry Megumi… I think I finally understand what you were so afraid of all this time,” Your voice was barely a croak, “when I saw it coming, I couldn’t stomach the thought of having to watch you die. I suddenly just thought I would do anything to keep you safe”.

Yeah, those were definitely tears, you could see them a little clearer now. His eyes were red and his cheeks were dried with salty streaks.

“You’re so thick-headed,” he mumbled, his grip around you tightening slightly as he picked up his pace, “I wish you would have made that realization before there was a giant hole in your stomach”.

“Me too,” You hummed, but you weren’t really in any pain anymore. The pain had subdued to a sweet warm sensation inside your stomach, and an intoxicating sleepiness was washing over your head, “I was angry for a long time, but I’m not mad at you anymore, Gumi. I hope you can forgive me too”.

You offered him a tiny smile, but the blood leaking from between you keeps made it anything but sweet.

“There’s nothing to forgive you for, you never did anything wrong,” He spoke quickly, his voice quiet and cracking.

“No, but we’re not gonna make it to Ieiri, I know that and so do you,” You fell into a violent fit of coughs again, sputtering red splatters all over the front of his uniform.

“Shut up”.

“It’s not your fault, none of it was ever your fault,” you choked out once the fit of coughs subsided — and you weren’t just talking about yourself, you were talking about all of the unfortunate tragedies he’d witnessed throughout this life.

“And you’re allowed to be selfish sometimes, you know? I hope that when you meet someone, your soulmate even, you can allow yourself to love them with every part of you”.

The words painfully left your lips, but you meant every single one of them. You were starting to realize that you and Megumi were never meant to make it to the end. You weren’t his soulmate, you were here to help him grow, so that when he did finally meet them he’d be ready.

“You deserve to be loved, Megumi,” You looked up at him with big eyes, but his face was starting to get really fuzzy now.

Your fingers were going numb and your mouth felt like it was filled with sand. You were so tired, letting your eyes flutter shut and your head rest softly against Megumi’s chest. You felt him stop running, you could even hear him screaming at you — but it was too far away for you to hear. You drifted closer and closer to eternal sleep, your soul swollen with love for the boy who broke your heart.

Megumi didn’t even feel sad when you stopped breathing in his arms — he just felt hollow. More empty and broken than he’d ever thought possible. You were the most incredible person he’d ever met — someone with extreme motivation, who acted with no fear or hesitation, who always had love to give, even when he didn’t deserve it. He’d never forget you, not for as long as he’d live anyway.

Even when he did meet a new girl a few years later — a compassionate, brave girl, who reminded him a lot of you — he wouldn’t forget. He wouldn’t forget your words and for the first time in his life he’d let his walls down for her. He’d allow himself to truly love, and be loved in return.

And maybe you were right, maybe he did deserve to be loved like this, because god, he finally feels whole again when she’s around. He just wishes you were still here so he could say thank you.

[cobrakaisb]

hi bestie! i’ve had this idea for a while, but i haven’t seen it. can you do like a head cannon of what miguel, robby, and eli/hawk would be like as an older brother? it can be totally based off what you think :) thank you <3

of course! sorry it took me a while but i needed to to be perfect. i also added two bonus boys at the end (hope you don’t mind). little note: i wrote this with a fem reader in mind because of the mentions of periods. 

Having the Cobra Kai boys as older brothers

miguel:

you and miguel are so close

the age difference does not affect him at all

he is very protective of you before cobra kai

but once he joins cobra kai that over protectiveness 📈📈📈

let’s just say that this kid is bothering you

miguel definitely notices and scares them off

you act annoyed about it, but you’re highkey grateful that he did that

“my brother is the all valley champ so back the fuck off”

you were so excited for him at the all valley

you wore one of his cobra kai shirts and everything

miguel is so supportive of whatever extra curricular you do

karate? yes he stans, theater? you bet he’s at all your shows, dance? you know he’s bringing you some flowers, another sport? he’s at every game cheering for you

miguel knows about periods, and he has no shame in buying you tampons/pads

“hey y/n, i noticed you were running low so i got you some more” 🥺🥺 

you wear his hoodies all the time

they are very big on you, but very comfy

you help him with sam

“i punched her in the face” “what why?”

“y/n what do you think about this?” “it looks great miguel. sam will love it”

when he dates tory you're a little on edge about it

“miguel, weren’t you like trying to win sam back two days ago?” “i like tory now” “okayy” 

johnny loves you as much as he loves miguel

y’all hang out together

his friends are your friends and vice versa

your friends definitely think that miguel is cute but “eww that’s my brother”

when miguel is in the coma you blame johnny

“he showed mercy because of you! you did this!”

but then you cry into his chest

when miguel wakes up you’re at school

you don’t find out until after school when carmen picks you up

you hug him so tight, rambling about how much you love him

“i love you too y/n now get off me”

you can’t keep up with his love life

“y/n i’m with sam again” “what?” 

overall your bond is amazing and you couldn’t ask for a better brother

robby:

you and robby both live with your mother (because we aren’t basic here)

you’re the odd one out (your mom does drugs and robby sells them)

“you got caught with molly? i thought you and sara were hooking up?” “the drug y/n”

when robby starts being friends with those punk kids, the two of you start to drift

you actually go to school, unlike him

“just skip y/n” “no robby”

it isn’t until he gets back on track because of daniel that you two start getting close again

“i’m gonna get back on track y/n i promise” and you believe him

you go to the skatepark with him

he skates while you read or draw or skate (whatever you’re into tbh)

when you’re on your period robby will buy you stuff, but he doesn’t like to

he feels so awkward about it

“um are these the right ones?” “yes thank you”

robby gives the best hugs (idk why he just does)

i feel like robby is also really good at reading emotions

like he knows when you’ve had a bad day at school or when you’re stressed about something

he also knows how to cheer you up :)))

“i know you did not just eat cereal with water???” “and what about it?”

when your mom comes back after being gone for days robby pulls you behind him

because he really doesn’t want you to be exposed to that

you cry into robby’s chest once she leaves

“why can’t she just be our mom?”

when daniel asks robby to move in with him he denies

but quickly explains that he can’t leave you

daniel tells robby that you can come too

“thanks for helping my brother mr.larusso, i really appreciate it”

you definitely walk in on robby and sam making out at some point

“hey robby- oh my god i’m so sorry” slaps hand over eyes and immediately leaves the room

when robby pushes miguel off the balcony it's the first time you’re genuinely scared of him

you visit him in jail, but it takes awhile for you to go

“i’m sorry y/n” “i know robby”

you just understand each other

when robby joins cobra kai he tries to get you in too

you agree to one lesson, and know it’s not for you

you have many arguments about this

“he’s brainwashing you!” “he knows what’s best for me, for us!”

robby feels so betrayed when he finds out you’re staying with johnny

the two of you definitely drift after that, but you find your way back to each other, you always do

eli/hawk:

okay so before he flips the script you defend eli, no matter what

you cry with him about the bullies and definitely try to fight kyler more than once

you wear his sweaters (fight me on it)

you encourage him to do karate

when he flips the script you’re very happy for him he finally feels confident in himself and you love that for him

now the roles are reversed

hawk protects you now

no one even dares to look at you because they are scared of him

i feel like he has a tattoo for you, whether that's your name or your favorite flower idk but he gets one for you

“um wow okay we’re doing that now” “do you like it or not?” “yeah but i wasn’t expecting it”

sometimes he’ll let you pick his hair color “how about purple” “maybe” 😉

he definitely flirts with your friends “hello ladies!” “hi hawk!” “get out!”

you’re the only one that is allowed to call him eli

“eli i need ten dollars?” “for what?” “a snack” *hands over the money*

“eli can i have your sweatshirt? i’m cold” “yeah take it”

“i can’t, me and eli are going to the movies today”

one day you’re sitting with him and his minions (you refuse to call them friends) at lunch

“so eli” -one of the cobra kais “shut the fuck up! you can’t call him that!” -you

hawk has a proud brother moment

anything that you do hawk is like “fuck yeah that’s my sibling!”

his friends are not allowed to look at you, talk to you, have a crush on you, or even think about you

“woah dude she’s hot” “that’s my fucking sister! stay away from her!”

“eli who’s your friend-” “NO!” 

as eli he will buy you period products but is very shy about it

as hawk he will not be caught dead in that isle of cvs

“eli i need them!” “i don’t care! i’ll drive you there and you can run in and get them”

when hawk breaks demetri’s arm you don't speak to him for weeks

you confront him about his new behavior

“this is who i am!” “no it’s not! you’re not my brother!” 

you’re crying and then storm off to your room

that breaks him

is highkey the start of his redemption

when he’s at the fight at the larusso house, and he sees demetri about to get his arm broken, he thinks of your words: “you're not my brother!”

literally motivates him to fix things

you see hawk and demitri and just know that your brother is back

you hug him so tight

“you were right y/n. i’m sorry” “of course i was. i’m always right” “gee thanks” “love you”  

bonus demetri:

he is a nerd, you are a nerd

the two of you watch star wars, marvel, harry potter, etc. together 

“daddy anakin” “please shut the fuck up”

you want to punch him in the face because he is so sarcastic 

it gets on your nerves 

bust out laughing when johnny makes fun of his pi shirt 

“stop laughing” “if it’s funny i'm gonna laugh”

even though you’re a nerd you’re cool 

like you have a lot of friends in your grade 

“demetri if i don’t talk to you at the halloween party that’s why” gestures to his costume 

listen to his rants about how eli’s changed 

you try to give him advice, but it doesn’t work out

so proud of him when he joins miyagi-do

“i'm glad you’re stepping out of your comfort zone” 

demetri tries to get you to join miyagi-do

if you do join great more sibling bonding

if you don’t join no biggie y’all are still besties

y’all go to the comic book store together

its sibling bonding time

you threaten to fight hawk after the laser tag thing 

“hey asshole you leave my brother alone!” 

you sign his cast first

you definitely write some inside joke that only the two of you understand

you see him kissing yas and do a whole 🤮

“so you dating yas?” “idk why” “just checking”

very obvious about your distaste for her

when him and hawk become friends again you’re very wary

“he broke your arm” “he apologized” “he broke your arm!!!”

eventually you and hawk are on semi decent terms

“demetri forgave you and that’s fine but i’m still not over it”

your relationship = the perfect mix of love and teasing  

bonus bonus king bert 🙌🏻:

you are older than him by like a year

but you’re still besties for life 

you’re very proud of him when he joins cobra kai

“im joining a karate dojo” “period pop off”

you always ruffle his hair 

cheer for him at the all valley

“yeah bert!”

but also like you can’t watch 

when he gets eliminated you cringe 

he’s sad about it 

“i just wanted to impress you” “im very impressed bert, you did great” 

your opinion matters so much to him

he’s such a small cinnamon roll 🥺🥺

seeing him with the older cobra kai boys makes you soft

“y/n i’m going out with hawk and miguel can you drive me?” 

bert admires you a lot, like you are his hero

y’all are the best sibling duo and that’s on period

[my-strange-attraction]

Ok, so time for a follow up. CW for sex/ sexual topics.

This is about to get more TMI than any of my posts in the past, because I’m sick of trying to censor myself in my own space, which has really been my big struggle with sexual orientation this whole time, when you boil it down to the basics. Also, tumblr can go fuck themselves for making us hide behind a million censors and veiled references to sexual topics when there are literal nazis on this website who can talk freely. This is the sex positivity site! Let us talk about m*sturbation and tag it!

Ok, mini rant over. This is gonna be a long one, guys. I’ve been holding out. Update under the cut.

Right so I’m pretty certain at this point that I’m not asexual or honestly acespec at all and I am demiromantic/ grayromantic. If you’ve been following my journey, you’ll know that last fall I very very suddenly went from not having any sort of orientation (sexual, romantic, or alterous) to being a lesbian.

Never ever before last fall did I even suspect having felt any sort of sexual attraction toward anyone. It would be obvious, I told myself. Everybody else recognized it immediately, everybody knew exactly what sexual attraction felt like because they felt it when they looked at somebody else and they HAD to do something about it, at least, eventually.

I also thought I didn’t have any sort of sex drive. I’d tried to touch myself ~ down there ~ before, even looked at diagrams because I have female anatomy and there was supposed to be a spot where it felt good just by touching it, without even really trying, right?

So anyways, naturally this all started when I read a ~ stimulating ~ fic one morning, couldn’t stop thinking about it all day, and then discovered that spot when I went to bed that night. I... definitely have a sex drive.

A bit of background about me that might be helpful at this point: I grew up in a very sheltered household. I was raised Catholic, and believed in it for most of my life, pretty much up until college. I also grew up in the midwest, in an admittedly progressive town, but the schools still had shit sex ed. And I am an incredibly anxious person and have been selectively mute in the past and that has had the effect on me that I learned from a very young age to figure things out on my own so I wouldn’t have to ask anyone anything ever.

I am lucky in that even though I was sheltered growing up, my parents have always encouraged me to make up my own mind about things and live my life the way I want to. The only thing they’ve really forced me to value is focusing on my education, but as long as I’m always trying my best, they’re not strict about what kind of grades or whatever I get either. That said, I never really felt the need to have a rebellious phase, and I always just wanted to please them.

All this just adds up to the fact that I definitely used to think it was noble to not be a sexual being, and that’s been a hard instinct to let go of over the years, even as I’ve stopped being religious and become the label anarchy sex positive person I am today.

The reason I even felt comfortable enough to really try to figure out how to have ~ fun sexy times ~ (I truly apologize for all the ways I’m referring to this, I’m cringing so hard but I don’t want to get in trouble with the tumblr gods) with myself was because over the past few years in college I’ve been around a lot of people who are pretty open about this stuff, and one person in particular who is very educated about sex and likes to drop fun facts about it.

So, I discovered I had a sex drive. Fine, cool. So I actually WAS a late bloomer (read: so repressed that I had myself convinced that I was not actually feeling sexual arousal ever, it was just another feeling bodies had sometimes that was uncomfortable and went away eventually). But what did that mean for sexuality? Did I actually feel sexual attraction all this time and not realize it?

I came to the conclusion that, for women, yes. And for men.... eh I’ve never really become good friends with one, too weird to think about, I’m gonna go with nah.

The rest isn’t really a long or complicated story. Realizing my attraction to women was easy because 1. I’ve already mentioned my “friend crushes” many times on here, translating that was easy, 2. despite the fact that I am female presenting and being gay SHOULD be harder, being straight has always seemed the harder thing to me (refer to above; I don’t talk to men a lot), 3. I am afab, and thinking about the other “parts” was scary, not to mention straight sex = chance of pregnancy, and 4. despite working to rid myself of this bias, I still have a tendency to think of men as “more sexual” than women, in general.

And that instinct is still there, to be as unsexual as I can. To think of sex as something inherently dirty and liking sex as something rebellious that troubled kids do. (I am not a kid, but I am 21, so I still feel like a baby.)

But lately I’ve been realizing that, well, one does not really read about mlm romance and smut for years without being at least a little interested in men. At least not the way I did it (to feel the butterflies in my stomach when they finally kissed and got together, to feel my face get hot when they got together.)

I've also been thinking a lot about what people mean when they say they are attracted to someone. The implication is sexual attraction, of course, so I always assumed that meant that just looking at someone turned people on, but it's a bit more complicated than that, isn't it? After thinking about it a bit, I actually think attraction is much more like just being excited to see or talk to a person in the same way that kids get excited for Christmas. It's anticipation, it's knowing, or at least guessing, that this is something that will make you really happy.

And that, I guess, is kind of at the heart of why I never understood my own sexuality (well, other than the whole repressed thing). I did the classic "think you're ace/bi when you're actually bi/ace because you feel the same about both genders," except I never considered it because there was a time when I understood attraction and myself less when I was questioning bi, so I thought I got that out of the way.

For a long time, I thought I felt nothing because I didn't talk to guys and I was certainly straight, right? Because there was no other option. I had a lot to learn at this point, and I imagine I still have a lot to learn now, but I think my gut was right on that, at least the first part.

I've still never had any romantic crushes, and I do think the not talking to guys is part of it, but what I was missing is that (and I've said this before on here I'm sure) I also never talk to girls I'm actually interested in. Most of my friends are girls and have been for my whole life, but when I see a pretty girl, I do tend to turn in the other direction because why would she want to talk to me?

Anyways that was long and long winded, and I still honestly don't want to put a label on things, just because it's all so new and I think my tendency to want to immediately label myself after I figure out something new about myself holds me back sometimes, but that's the update! If you made it this far, I literally don't know why, but thanks for coming along on my journey! As always, I will keep y'all updated because you know I can't help myself but to overshare on the internet.

Questioning my sexuality again, what is this?