#I’m 99 percent sure I didn’t finish it but I think I got pretty close

[fantasykiri5]

HOLY SHIT I just got a like and comment on this from YEARSSSS ago… I’m. I actually wrote WAYYYY more of this, although I don’t think I quite finished it… I guess I’ve been meaning to put more stuff up on my ao3 because I never upload anything… maybe…

Since I don’t feel like trying to work out AO3 yet, here’s the first chapter of a new fix I’m writing! In this, Shirakumo survives the initial boulder to the head, but only just barely.

Here is...

Somewhere Only We Know

. . .

“Shirakumo! Where are you?!”

Aizawa called and called to the pile of rubble. “S-Shōta? I’m... I’m over here, but it’s... it’s getting hard to breathe...” a small voice came from under the chunks of concrete. “Shirakumo! Hold on, we’re gonna get you out! MIC, MIDNIGHT, I FOUND HIM!” The small boy started removing rocks. “Just hold on Shirakumo, the others are coming, we’re gonna get you out, just-“

“Shōta, I’m bleeding a lot... I don’t know if I’ll make it dude... make sure you keep ‘Zashi and Nemi happy... ok?”

“No, we’re gonna get you out, alright?! SHIRAKUMO DON’T YOU DAREDIE ON ME!” The raven haired boy continued to pull at the rocks frantically, before he was joined by the other heroes in training. Even Sensoji was there. “Hold on just a little longer buddy, we’re here!” Hizashi yelled. “Nope... ‘M passin’ out... so... tired...” “Oboro don’t go to sleep yet! You can sleep all you want once we get you to an ambulance, okay? Just stay awake!” Nemuri called to the boy. “To late... falling... asleep...” the boy under the rocks murmured, trailing off. “Shit! Shirakumo!” The raven boy called, just before they managed to haul the last few chunks of debris out of the way.

Beneath all the rubble lay Shirakumo, laying unconscious in a pool of his own blood, pooling on the ground, seeping out of the gash on his forehead. His hero costume was torn in some places, revealing several smaller cuts. “Shirakumo! Guys, help me pick him up, we gotta get him out!” Aizawa cried, grabbing the much larger, unconscious boy up by his arms. The other three helped to pick him up and rush him over to the waiting ambulance.

“We’ll take him from here kids, go get your own injuries tended to.” A nice looking nurse, or doctor, with small antlers said, meeting them halfway, before helping lift the boy into a stretcher and rushing him the rest of the way to the ambulance.

Sensoji walked towards the first aid station that had been set up, but Hizashi and Nemuri stayed by Shōta, who was staring at the ambulance that was receding away towards a hospital. “Shōta, come on, you need to get fixed up too, he’ll be ok now.” The blonde said, resting his hand on his friends shoulder. “... yeah... yeah that’s probably a good idea.”

But he still stood there, gazing off to where that ambulance once was.

“Shōta. Come on.” The ravenette jumped a small bit, before turning to face his friends. “What if he doesn’t get through this?” “Shōta, I swear, both of us do, Oboro will come out of this okay. He’s tougher than just a pile of rocks, he’s not going down that easy.” Nemuri said, grabbing both of the smaller boy’s shoulders. “Yeah... okay, let’s go fix ourselves up.”

And with that, the three of them walked off towards the first aid station as I started to rain.

. . .

[newsies-and-the-nutcracker]

Newsies but it’s French (Canadian) pt.2

(aka me just getting increasingly frustrated the longer it goes on until I’ve completely lost whatever bits of sanity I had left lol)

~ king of new york scene ~

“We’re in the papes??” “You’re in the papes.” why do I find this so funny help-

“For the good of Jack, we can stop complaining...” not the whole thing but that sounds so out of character for Race I can’t-

After a quick google search, I can confirm that Race says “The world is at our boots.”

The newsies are very confused

Apparently he was meant to say feet.

“I’m talking about our feet!”

…

hOW IN THE WORLD IS THAT EVEN CLOSE TO ‘THE WOILD IS YA ERSTER’-

Okay I’m done

“My own face on a piece of wood!” good for you ig

“I’m respectful. I’m looking at you.” please-

“I am pretty, am I not?” yes race you’re very pretty

“My own bed and an indoor toilet!” wait… does that mean you literally have a toilet outside?? In the open???

“Nothing more normal for a famous journalist!” Irdk how I’m supposed to process this-

“Leave, idiot! It’s her, the king of New York!” guys is this actually what he says in English?? Race why are you so m e a n

“Some…” *checks notes* “depressive defeatists” ?? I just want to know how you got that from “Buncha wet noodles”-

“We were on the verge of drowning ourselves in alcohol.” WHY AM I ONLY NOW FIGURING OUT WHAT SOME OF THESE LINES MEAN AS I’M WATCHING IT IN F R E N C H ???

They cut out a lot of the background comments during the dance break and now I’m sad

After Katherine’s little dance: “It’s a joke, I hope.” wow

“You’ll see what the Delancey’s do in their pants!” that sounds so wrong I-

“Friends can leave, let them be!” I don’t think that’s what they were trying to say but okay

~ letter from the refuge scene ~

“There’s guards here, they’re mean.” WOW JUST TEAR MY HEART OUT WHY DONTCHA-

“If they tell us to jump, we obey, if not we’re screwed.” ow

“The rooftop misses me.” I give up.

“It’ll go. I’m in shape.”

“End.” the only time they decide not the put ‘the’ unnecessarily in front of something-

“Good, that’s enough.” how rude

yeah that’s all for that song. I hope you guys weren’t actually expecting me to find much humour in that one

~ watch what happens reprise scene ~

“You are a love.” ??

Guys where I live if you say “tant mieux pour vous.” it means “Too bad for you” and that’s literally what Jack just told Davey-

“Stop. I understand. It’s useless.” eh close enough

“Good blood, where do you have to go to avoid you guys?”

“It’s impossible. We are inevitable.” since when did Davey actually become Thanos?

“And this here girl, Sally, she’s great.” :(

“We say that you wrote a good article.” “You seem horrible.” they’re much more salty in this version-

“Yes, it’s true. And, he is dead.” uhh guess who’s not going to Santa Fe-

“We can forget that and go back to work?” the person who wrote this had a real passion for butchering Les’ lines lol

“Be positive. No one is dead.” mmmmmmmmmmm-

“Is that what you’re hoping for??” MMMMMMMMMMMMMM-

“There’s no question of cents, Jack!” yk what? sure. i don’t even care at this point-

“We’ll do what?” he sounds like he doesn’t even want to win.

“We’re already winning.” “Agreed.” ABORT ABORT THIS ISN’T WHAT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO S A Y JACK-

“And ‘voila’ why I think that Joe is an idiot. It’s a rattlesnake.” “... Yes.” you heard it right here, guys. if it’s a rattlesnek, it’s an idiot

“And you know why a snake whistles?” WHAT

“He is scared.”

“Go see, the poor of the head that’s spinning.” This is shredding whatever bits of sanity I had left-

“Why send the brutes?” idk why Davey

“You have maybe reason!” “Thank you!”

“And I have an appointment!”

no but when you say you have a ‘rendez-vous’ here where I live, it means you have like a doctors appointment or something lol

~ the bottom line reprise scene ~

“After his release, I surprised him myself!”

“If that’s the case, we’re going to bring him in... in softness.” nice of them

“... or the little thief?” I’m really starting to think that they lack like 99% of words in the French language-

“I was fighting in a war.” “And that turned out well for you?” get wrecked joe

“Rally as much as you want, no journal in town will talk about it.” guys I don’t have enough serotonin for this-

“Everyone here knows you’re horrible!” they made Jack sound like a little kid in the translation, and honestly I’m not even disappointed lol

“We’re missing time, little.” I don’t even know what to say-

“Your abject surrender was always the bottom of the problem.” sure why not

“Gentlemen, escort our guest to the cave-” well isn’t he nice?

“Be happy you’re alive, little. That’s the essential.”

“Yeah, so go!” ?? how is that even remotely close to “Yeah, so behave!” ??????

“I exercised my favourite American punch!” uhhhh good for you?

“You can sleep here, on this old press! It’s very firm.” help I’ve fallen and I can’t get up-

~ brooklyn’s here scene ~

“The sellers need our help! The sellers need our help! Tell them that Brooklyn’s arriving! Tell them that Brooklyn’s arriving!”

“We’re from Brooklyn, we’re the sellers from Brooklyn!” UHHHHH EXCUSE ME???

“We just learned that our friends are going wrong!” please you heard they were ‘going wrong’ like five days ago-

“You know we’re there for you, since always.” oH rEaLlY???

“Brooklyn is there!”

“Strikes aren’t nice, but they’re passionate!” well I’m glad you think so

“Let’s shout it, Brooklyn is there!”

“Aaaaand sooooooo!!” “Sooooooooo!!” “Soooooooooo!!!” “We will send you half road, just to Queens!”

“The pigeons are going to get soaked!” aaaaaand we’re back to the pigeons-

“What sad way to finish your career!” they sound so sarcastic I can’t-

“They’re not serious, but if they think we’re laughing…” i feel low-key threatened-

“Let’s shout it!” well if you try hard enough, you can make it sound like “loud and clear!”?

“Manhattan is theeere, Flushing is theeere, “Richmond is theeere, Woodside is theeere, and the Bronx too!!”

“Sorry, little. No news of him.” I just… why does it translate to “little”?

“You are alone, we could say.” “No.” “Yes.”

Medda really isn’t taking no for an answer-

“The sellers of journals of New York!” I’m crying why is it such a mouthful-

“You want to be treated like an adult? Act like an adult!”

~ something to believe in scene ~

“It’s Specs!” wow kath throw specs under the bus like that-

“And if I was a boy you’d be looking at me with a butter black eye!” I’ve officially given up on the French language I’m sorry-

“You win a fight when the other guy bites the dust.” and another one gone and another one gone-

“If there’s a way I could grab hold of something,” has literally been shortened to ‘if I could.’ IF I COULD-

“If I could stop time.” I’m so mad

“Really?” “Really.” ahhHHHHHHHHHHH

“But it’s going. It’s going.”

“... who didn’t even know she gave me a hope.” WHAT EVEN IS THE POINT IF THE TITLE ANYMORE??

“But it’s going. It’s going.” The thrilling sequel

“No. I’m scared of you.” “No!” yeesh-

“I believe in something.” good for you

~ once and for all scene -

“He is with us.” but like… how much?? only 99 percent????

“We could hold a hoedown here.” I feel like the person translating this just gave up by the end of the show-

“Happy to have found you again.” what did you like lose him or something

“The close.” ok yes that’s funny, but it gets even funnier when you realize it could also be translated to “the farm.”

“A little grease, and she’ll be like new.”

“This is for the guys who kill themselves at the factories.” w h a t

‘THE BANNER OF SELLERS OF JOURNALS’ I’m still not over this

~ everything that comes after that ~

“Anyone who doesn’t act in their own self interest is an idiot!” ey watch it-

also what the heck is ‘quiconque’ I swear I’ve never seen that word in my life

“We will find a way, but let’s seize the moment.” first it was “the chance” and now it’s “the moment” google translate are u okay-

They really went and changed ‘bully’ to ‘monster’ didn’t they

“You can make it.” he really makes it sound like Jack is about to die or something-

“It’s disgusting!” you’re disgusting sir

“And the world will know, we’ve been taking notes.”

“It’s a joke!” nope lol

“Goodbye, fool!” I’M LAUGHING WAY TOO HARD ABOUT THIS-

“Well you already work for my father.” “Yes.”

“Super, Jack Kelly!” I CAN’T-

“So, Jack, you’re staying?” yeah sure close enough-

“Sellers of journals on a mission!”

Das it ‘my friends’ lol. Hope you enjoyed.

[mingi-bubu]

A Subpar Guide To Unine

I was inspired by this video, their new album coming out on May 6, 2020, and also yanjuniverse saying something about not knowing them and wondering if there was a guide or something so yeah!

anyway please enjoy my nonsense it’s fun and there are a lot of songs and performances that I recommend looking at!

if anything is unclear, send me a message or something!  i just want everyone to love Unine

Unine is the second nine member group to be created by Idol Producer/Youth With You/QCYN/whatever you want to call the competition show.  The group is made up of Li Wenhan, Li Zhenning, Yao Mingming, Guanyue or Guan Yue, Jiayi, Hu Chunyang, Xia Hanyu, Chen Youwei, and He Changxi.

The official fandom name is Nano.  Unine debuted with their EP 《UNLOCK》 on May 6, 2019.  Their album 《U-Night Flight》 will be coming out on their one year anniversary May 6, 2020.

As someone commented on YouTube under one of their videos, I can’t remember which one please don’t ask, they are a more vocal line leaning group whereas Nine Percent was more rap line leaning.  I think it’s neat to see the contrast between what people want to see in any given year and how different their music styles are.

Some members have been in or are currently in other groups as well, so you may see some familiar names if you don’t know Unine (yet ;})

Members:

Li Wenhan

Final Rank: 1

Leader, Center, Main Vocalist, Lead Dancer, Sub Rapper, Face of the Group

‘94 Liner

A Cancer with his birthday being July 22

Yuehua Entertainment boy

Representative Animal: Shiba Inu

A member of the Sino-Korean boygroup Uniq

There his position is Vocalist

He is fluent in Chinese, Korean, and English

His nickname is Hanhan

He is also an actor and owns 2 cats and a corgi

He says that every time he’s working on a new project he adopts another cat or dog

He is very caring towards his younger trainees and is always looking out for them

Neighboring Tarzan was a good performance of his and it also contains 5/9 Unine members so that’s pretty frickin cool tbh

His audition stage was Uniq’s “Monster” and it was a great performance like Minghao and Jolin were jamming along to it

also the flower petals at the end that they then had to clean up killed me it was a beautiful effect but ill planned with the consequences

“gui-ze” meme stemmed from this performance

please let this tired man rest

He studied in the US but then left to focus on his music career

He has a great singing voice and is always ready to help his members and he is just a good leader wow

Li Zhenning

Final Rank: 2

Lead Dancer, Lead Vocalist, Lead Rapper, Face of the Group

‘95 Liner

He is a Scorpio (like me!!) with his birthday being November 5

BG Project boy

Representative Animal: Koala

Nicknames include Shenshen and Black Pearl due to his tanned skin

He has a cat named Aoao who is a little over a year old now I think maybe?

He didn’t get noticed until his Retreat performance where he pulls his tie

He used to be one of those people who was like “this person is actually quite good; nothing’s wrong with him, but I can’t remember him” and like he considered himself like that and him debuting at the no. 2 spot was really well deserved and i am so proud

This is also the performance where he rapped and he spent so much time practicing for it and it was successful and I am just really proud of him bc he leans more as a vocal and was really struggling and wanted to make sure he did it right and i’m jsut really proud i love himso mcuh

His dancing in this stage was unmatched by anyone else there (and this sounds biased because i am)

Li Zhenning vs Li Shenshen

on stage mans is focused and completely undaunted and carries sexier concepts well

off stage mans is baby boy. baby.  he’s goofy and adorable and i love hiim so much

compares himself to a koala because “especially [his] nose shape is similar…and [his] eyes look blurred…[and he’s] sleepy all the time”

we stan a short king (he’s 5′9 which yeah, is taller than me, but still)

He dances so well and just owns any stage he is on

Rebuild is one of my favorite stages hes done and coincidentally has 5/9 members of Unine in it, though they didn’t know at the time of course

He was incredible during this stage like ugh i didn’t have a bias bc he was there, Mingming was there, Changxi was there, i had no way of surviving

Hair Color King

He had a blue-lavender color during Rebuilt, in Unine’s Set It Off mv he had blue, he’s had black and blond and he’s rocked all of them

Yao Mingming

Final Rank: 3

Main Dancer, Lead Vocalist, Sub Rapper

‘97 Liner

He is a Capricorn with his birthday being January 5

One Cool Jasco Entertainment boy

Representative Animal: Cat

He had been a trainee for six, almost 7 years, when he debuted with Unine

He had several near debuts including with Seventeen

Speaks Chinese and Korean

Because of this, he was very closed off at first with the other trainees and eventually had to have a talk with Zhang Yixing PD

The gist of the conversation was that Mingming was sort of…doubting, I guess you could say, his talents and Yixing told him to treat the show as if he were a new trainee

This led to Mingming becoming more open with the other trainees and more confident in his talents and skills and it really showed and I was really happy he was able to debut bc he deffo deserved it

Mingming’s gray and floral suit in the Rebuild stage is something i think about on a weekly basis at least it’s a really good look for him guys

also just the confidence and cockiness he has during this stage i love to see it

He also has an opportunity to really show off his dancing skills and i loved it for him

He can do imitations really well and likes to imitate Hanyu a lot

think Yesungie and Eunhyuk except accurate

He has very feline features

this has nothing to do with anything he’s just really really pretty

is it because i am biased?  perhaps

Guan Yue

Final Rank: 4

Lead Dancer, Lead Vocalist, Sub Rapper

‘94 Liner

He’s a Capricorn with his birthday being January 16

Cast Planet Entertainment boy

Representative Animal: Rabbit

The leader of XII Constellations as a whole and the subunit The Wind

12C is a CPE group with a concept of having four 3-member units, each focusing on a different music style

The Wind focuses on bright and upbeat music and was the first to debut in 2017

Currently there are only six members of 12C

He knows sign language as both of his parents are deaf and when the trainees are allowed to call home, we see him talking with his mother

He has a lot of love and respect for his mother and it shows

His goal in life is to make enough money to support his family so they don’t have to work

I love Guan Yue’s “Turn Up” stage like the cockyness and confidence he has is fantastic i love to see it

his costume is also pretty good esp considering what the trainees sometimes have to wear

also Shenshen and Mingming are in it as well

His performance in Ugly Beauty was incredible also

I loved his Neighboring Tarzan performance bc he was able to include his dialect in his rap part and I love when trainees are able to bring more of themselves into a performance

I want him and Chen Linong to collab bc he was essentially idp2′s Nongnong with the infectious smile and incredible stage presence

the cutie, sweetie, angel, sweetheart, etc. of the group and of the show’s run

Jiayi

Final Rank: 5

Lead Dancer, Lead Rapper, Lead Vocalist, Visual

‘98 Liner

He’s a Cancer with his birthday being July 14

Star Master Entertainment boy

Representative Animal: Bear

Is a member of Mr. Tyger

There he held the roles of Visual, Lead Vocalist, Sub Rapper, and Youngest

One of his nicknames is Little Star

He can play the saxophone

His favorite part of his body are his eyebrows, which, valid

Jolin Tsai’s Xukun

So like y’kno how Yixing was a fan of Xukun the moment he saw him?  Jolin was a fan of Jiayi the minute she saw him

The “Ugly Beauty” performance was certainly something to witness

Jiayi as a blond was a fantastic look and i miss it.  a lot.

like Neighboring Tarzan was very good look for him even tho the stage costumes were a little a lot extra

his dance was great and bitch got them body rolls on lock

Jiayi vs Huang Jiaxin

on stage focused, determined, owns it

off stage he’s a giant goofball and i love him so much

hes like unfairly handsome but thankfully likes to make dumb faces

somehow he still stays pretty its upsetting at times

Hu Chunyang

Final Rank: 6

Main Raper, Sub Vocalist, Youngest

‘99 Liner (like me!!)

He’s an Aquarius with his birthday being February 5

Yuehua boy

Representative Animal: Golden Retriever

Nickname is Yangyang

Was one of those nerds who would rather stay behind in class and finish their work than go and eat or whatever

Mad respect tho bc i am too when i am at campus dkfja;lsdk

At his audition stage, he covered Wang Yibo’s rap in Uniq’s “Monster” and honestly who is doing it better than him?

I want to see him and Justin interact so bad they had to have they’re both YH boys

@ YueHua let me please have this

Yangyang in the Neighboring Tarzan performance really emphasized how great he is at rapping

he seems at first like a shy and introverted guy but is a mean and grouchy little man when you get to know him

i love to see it

older trainees were always looking out for him

he has a really stable rap voice

Xia Hanyu

Final Rank: 7

Main Vocalist, Sub Rapper

‘97 Liner

Gemini as his birthday is June 11

Show City Times boy

Representative Animal: Wolf

He can play the piano incredibly well and also plays the guitar

His first impression was that of “the big bad wolf

However when he gets more comfortable with the group, he becomes a big softie and his smile compels me to smile

Still uses his dark looks to his advantage thoooo

he was being dramatic and mean once and then like after saying his ‘insult’ immediately cracked and started laughing and hiding his face

HIGH NOTE KING

shenshen in response to a performance said he immediately got goosebumps

Neighboring Tarzan was a great way for him to show off his high notes imo

He had red hair one time and I miss it a lot bc it looked good

Chen Youwei

Final Rank: 8

Lead Rapper, Visual, Sub Vocalist

‘98 Liner

He is a Cancer with his birthday being July 7

Ciwen Media boy

Representative Animal: Pig

Attended Zhejiang Sci-Tech University and majored in fashion

He can play the guitar

He modeled and is also an actor, having been in several cdramas

The most notable of these is “Story of Yanxi Palace” where he played 5th Prince

He was greeted as such by the other trainees when he walked into the room

He’s also a scholar and this was shown in a rap he had created during the show

mans is the donghae of unine

in that they’re teased for how they speak

his mandarin is bad and donghae’s korean is bad

his rapping is good and he seems like a real sweetheart

mans also likes to munch, saying he can eat 5 meals a day

He Changxi

Final Rank: 9

Main Dancer, Lead Vocalist

‘97 Liner

He is a Sagittarius with his birthday being November 24

OACA Entertainment boy

Representative Animal: Lesser, or Red, Panda

His English name is Jerry and I deeply hate how much it fits him

His nicknames include Xixi and Yong Ri Didi

He loves a good ginger foot bath

Like it was such a well known fact that Yixing even asked him about it once

He wasn’t really noticed until his performance in Fire which is especially impressive considering that his performance wasn’t filmed in front of an audience but instead one of the practice rooms

there was a competition between two teams for each song and the winning team would get to perform on stage in front of the youth producers

Xixi really looked so fierce and confident in the Rebuild stage I was so proud

He also did a dance cover of EXO’s “Love Shot” and if you’ve been following me for a minute you know that i love EXO’s music and it was great to see

his killing part was also a reoccuring meme

Mingming loves teasing him and it’s so funny

Suggested Videos of their IDP Days: (flashing lights warning)

Wenhan and Chunyang’s Audition Stage

Wenhan + Mingming React to “gui-ze” Trainee Compilation

《后退 Retreat》  – Zhenning Focus

《后退 Retreat》  – Stage Performance  

《重塑 Rebuild》  – Zhenning Focus

《重塑 Rebuild》  – Concept Evaluation

《重塑 Rebuild》 – Mingming Focus

Mingming + Yixing’s Talk

Mingming + Impressions

《 青春有你 Turn Up》 – Guan Yue Focus

《 青春有你 Turn Up》 – Stage Performance

Jolin Tsai + Her Favorite Trainee

《怪美的 Ugly Beauty》 – Mentor Stage

《隔壁泰山 Neighboring Tarzan》 – Stage Performance

Hanyu’s Audition Stage

Hanyu’s Introduction Video

Hanyu Playing Guitar + Singing

《一笑��城 One Alluring Smile》 – Stage Performance

EXO “Love Shot” Dance Cover – Changxi

《 骑士精神 Chivalry》 – Changxi Focus

《火 Fire》 – Changxi Focus

UNINE Videos: (flashing lights warning)

《春日記憶 Memories of Spring》 – My favorite song by them, this is the lyrics video in Chi/Pinyin/Eng

《春日記憶 Memories of Spring》 – This is the performance from their fan meeting I believe.  The choreo is so beautiful and I want an MV like last week.

《春日記憶 Memories of Spring》 – This is their performance from the Reedit Stage.

《SET IT OFF》 – official MV.  There’s a lot of jumping out of windows, Guan Yue has purple hair, Shenshen has blue hair, and Jiayi and Xixi look great.  The song is a bop, there’s a nautical theme, what more could you ask for?  A coherent plot for an MV???  Overrated.  It’s essentially Unine’s 《RULE BREAKER》.  It’s from their second mini album “Unusual”.

《SET IT OFF》 – This is a live performance at the Mnet Asian Music Awards.  I have a bone or two to pick with the sound editor of the video  but they deliver a fantastic performance.  I like their choreo a lot and it’s more clearly able to be seen on the live stage.

《BOMBA》 – official MV.  Their first single I believe.  Very colorful and fun, the song matches the vibe of the MV.  Mingming’s iconic holding a geometric hanging light like a pear is from this MV.  Hanyu also spends half the MV wrecking my bias.  If I had more braincells I would do an analysis of the MV but alas.

《BOMBA》 – From the Reedit Stage.

《官方直拍 Like A Gentleman》  – Live performance from their fan meeting.  I really like this song and the costumes for stage are stripey and I love stripes.  The lights and screen in the background are in neons and it kind of gives the performance a nostalgic feeling and it’s just a really cute song.

《官方直拍 Like A Gentleman》 – The lyrics video in Chi/Pinyin/English.  The song is really cute you guys and Changxi and Mingming are great in it.

Videos From the Other Groups the Members Are In:

《 爱的就是你 Love Is You》 – XII Constellations: The Wind ft. Liu Jia

《 燃烧吧，拳头 Burn, Fists》 – XII Constellations: The Fire [flashing lights warning]

Note: this doesn’t have Guan Yue but I decided to put it in here to really exemplify the concept that 12C is about.  Also the song lowkey pops off and reminds me of my emo phase

《Monster》 – Uniq (Chinese version)

《EOEO》 – Uniq (Chinese version) [flashing lights warning]

《 钛戈 》 – Mr. Tyger [flashing lights warning]

《夜空悬浮》 – Mr. Tyger [flashing lights warning]

Sources: KProfiles, [Eng Sub] Intro to UNINE Members, various performances, and the show itself.  If I have given any incorrect information, please let me know and I will rectify it immediately.

[yayninjabob]

A story behind a story

I have never wrote 100,000 words of anything in my life and 9 months ago when I first sat down to write Villain: Redux I definitely did NOT anticipate the length it would reach by the end of Part I. Now that it is done though I feel like I can talk about it.  Well not really the story but the story behind the story?  

A very lengthy and personal author's note for Part I: Remote Control

How I started writing again: My relationship with my writing was non existent for years.  I honestly went through a very long drought where I felt like everything I created just sucked so bad and I had zero motivation for creating shit.  I would talk with my therapist or my wife and friends about feeling so out of touch with my creative side and feeling pretty lost without it.  Really, I pretty much felt like it was dead forever.  I eventually started a personal journal again... And little drabbles here and there would come to mind... It felt alright but meh. "What did you enjoy about writing that you still feel is missing?" I was asked. Ffffffuck me I dont know.  Writing as a teen and in my early twenties wasn't something I ever thought about even when I did it every damn day of my life.  I guess I missed having that ongoing plot in the back of my head that I could escape to whenever life was lame. Daydreaming crazy stories as a kid was just my favorite past time and writing went with it.  But I just didnt have any more stories in my head. Nothing new or exciting enough at least. Anyways. January was my dads bday.  2019 and that year my dad asked for something.  Now my dad isn't one to ask for gifts. No, normally he is extremely frustrating and expects everyone to read his mind while saying "I dont care" yet if his gifts dont meet his secretive expectations he gets all butthurt and emo and says that nobody knows him.  Ok but January 2019 he asks me to write him something.   "What?  A story?  A poem?  A birthday card?" "I dont care just write me something." Typical. "I dont care."  Yeah right.  What the hell does he expect from me jeez.... My dad was the OG storyteller in my life- real shit or bullshit- he could spin a crazy story like no one else. My uncles and his friends would sit around smoking and drinking and listening to one wild tale after the next.   He could entertain people for HOURS just with the shit he’d say.  I always thought he'd make a brilliant stand up comedian but my dad would just laugh at the idea. So for his gift I figured I'd retell one of his personal wild tales - his first encounter with a mountain lion at 12 during a hunting trip with my late great uncle Joe who was his adoptive father figure.  Honestly my dad was always so incredibly descriptive and I heard that tale about a bazillion times growing up, and even though he hadnt shared it in probably 15+ years, it was easy to recall. I could just close my eyes and see it clear as day.  I stayed loyal to his story but I used my own words.  It really surprised me how easy I found those words though.  Writing had been such an impossible challenge for so long yet when I finished the short story I had written 12 pages in a single afternoon and I was shocked but in a good way.  It was his story so I was pretty sure he would like it. He's got a pretty big ego lol. I typed it up on the typewriter my dad had gotten me back when I was a teen and serious about becoming a "real writer."  I figured he would appreciate that.  I gave him the story on his birthday.  He didnt read it right away. We went to the backyard and the two of us shared a joint and while I started chasing the dogs in the yard for a bit I saw he finally picked the story up. And when he finished he started crying. Which is always weird when it's your dad right?  He isn't one to cry easily. Last time I saw tears in his eyes was three years prior at my wedding but even that wasnt like this.  He told me "You need to write again.   You need to try." But I still felt like I couldn't. I never really thought I was good at it anyway.  Sure, people told me they liked my writing and it meant a lot that my dad was moved so much by my short story that I started to believe “hey maybe I can write,” but... I dunno.  I had a rough idea for an original novel that I sat down with later that month and tried to work out... But it just felt forced and uninteresting.  It wasnt a story my mind could just escape to effortlessly.  The passion just wasnt there. After a while my wife suggested to me "Well when you retold your dad's story that was easier right?  Maybe you should retell another story that you love." And so in August 2019 I sat down and wrote what would eventually become the scarring scene for Villain: Redux

Part I:  Remote Control I spent the rest of August, September and October slowly falling back into my old world of Villain.  I reread both Villain and VillainE for the first time in yeeeeeears.  What. A. Trip. So much stood out to me that was like "Ok young me, I see where you were going but this could be so much better."  I made my list of what I liked and what I wanted to change.. Constructed my outline and then I just went for it.   Halloween night that year was spent finishing my first draft of chapter 1.  It was still in Buttercup's limited POV.  I liked it OK enough but I wondered if it would be improved if I tried third person instead.  I said "fuck it why not" and went for it again but in third person, adding the beginning history of Townsville and then the opening scene with Mojo.   When I finished it I was pretty amused with it and I found myself just starting right away on chapter 2 and adding even more details to my overall outline- it became a trilogy.  It was flowing SO easy and for once writing didnt feel like some forced chore I was performing.   The entire time though I debated whether or not to share any of it.  I didn't think anyone would read it.  But personally, I was falling in love with my new rendition and I really didn't want to stop writing it. So once again I said "fuck it why not" and I started this tumblr to start documenting my new commitment to rewriting Villain for good.  I edited the first chapter and uploaded it a couple days before Thanksgiving. And the support I got from readers honestly made me cry haha... I really really thought the story would go unnoticed.  After all, when I first started writing for the PpG fandom it was always an uphill battle and 90 percent of my first reviews were just flames and criticism.  The original Villain really took a while to gain much of a readership and even though it had its moment of somewhat popularity in the fandom, that moment came after it was completed. A brief glance at the PpG section on FFnet showed me that things really hadnt changed- still 99 percent PpGxRrB romances.  Man, it just seemed so unfair. I freaking love this show and TBH I will never understand the fandom's fixation on those damn Rowdyruffs.  Whatever.  It is what it is.  But because of that and because I hadnt been an active writer in the fandom for like a decade I really thought I'd be lucky to get one review.   And I did!  On the first day!  And I was PUMPED lol.   Then over the next couple of days I got more and most from names I recognized from the past!  I was so touched by some of the things you guys said, you will have no idea what those first 7 reviews meant to me.  And of course the reviews to follow throughout the next chapters only continued to motivate me further. And now I'm done with Part I.  Jeez what a freaking journey.  I feel like I've learned a lot though and I hope that the story only improves from here.   Today, this story invades my subconscious more than I would like to admit.  But.  It is so nice to have an exciting story to escape to once more.  And I feel like I can say that my creative drive is finally restored again which feels amazing.  Who knew it would be this rewrite of all things to do it. So yeah.  I owe the biggest thanks to my readers (the reviewers especially), my wife, and of course my dad.   I know we are just at the beginning of this story, but personally I just feel like I've accomplished more than I could've imagined already... like I said... 100,000 words is something I’ve never done before lol.  And I cant wait to share the rest of the story with everyone.   Anyways that’s my long soppy backstory on how I decided to rewrite Villain.  Thanks for reading. :)

[ofstormsandwolves]

The Slayers

Faith/Buffy, Willow, Xander, Giles, Cordelia

Modern AU

Part of Sunnydale 2019

Read on AO3 (currently trialling putting fic up without people needing an account to read)

Buffy didn't make the Sunnydale varsity cheer squad in her sophomore year. But she's determined she'll make it in her junior year...

Buffy Summers was quietly confident. Today was the day of the cheerleading tryouts and she was almost certain she was going to secure her place this year.

Last year, she had only made first alternate, and Cordelia Chase hadn’t stopped rubbing it in. To make matters worse, the one time Cordelia was out sick, Buffy had been struck down by the same bug a day before the big game. Not only had Amy Madison taken her place (and had freaked out halfway through the routine because apparently she had only gone in for cheerleading because her mom had forced her), but Buffy had had to be taken home by Giles. She’d been so sick that he had quite literally carried her from the school, and while Willow and Xander had been quite sweet about it, Buffy was fully aware that she had looked ridiculous.

This year, however, she wasn’t going to be first alternate. She was going to make the squad, proper. And she was going to make sure Cordelia Chase realised what a threat she was.

Tryouts were at lunch, and Buffy beamed proudly as Willow, Xander, and Faith snuck in to watch her audition from the bleachers. She had nailed the routine, as had several others, although there were one or two who had stumbled or slipped.

“You were wicked good, babe,” Faith told her once the tryouts were over, pressing a kiss to Buffy’s cheek.

Buffy flushed. “I don’t know about that,” Buffy responded modestly, “but let’s just say I’m quietly confident.”

Willow and Xander were beaming proudly as the four of them headed out of the gym, but suddenly Cordelia Chase was in front of them, sneering down at Buffy.

“I wouldn’t be so confident if I were you, Buffy,” she told her coldly. “Everyone knows they’ll choose me over you any day.”

“And is there a reason you can’t both be on the team?” Xander asked with a raised eyebrow.

Beside him, Willow nodded seriously. “It doesn’t have to be you versus Buffy, Cordelia. Besides, you and Buffy worked well together on that history project you did. You make a good team.”

Willow knew she’d said the wrong thing even before she’d finished speaking. Buffy and Cordelia- and even Faith- were staring at her incredulously.

“This is the varsity cheer squad, Willow,” Cordelia bit out. “Not some silly school project.”

And with that, she swept out of the gym and down the corridor, leaving a confused Willow blinking after her.

 “Well as long as you tried your best,” Giles said when Buffy told him about the cheer tryouts.

Buffy blinked at her step-father for a moment before responding with a deadpan “right”.

“You seriously don’t get all this high school stuff, do you, G?” Faith asked from where she lounged on her back in the middle of the library table.

Xander was sat on a chair, munching on some chips, while Willow got started on some homework they’d been given during second period. She did, of course, have to work around Faith’s body. Buffy perched on the counter while Giles was busy scanning returned library books.

“I admit, I don’t quite understand the appeal of cheerleading, but I’ll support Buffy in whatever she does, Faith,” Giles responded calmly. “Even if I don’t really understand her fascination in it.”

Faith pushed herself up onto her elbows, eyes glinting mischievously. “Whatever she does?”

Both Buffy and Giles stiffened, eyeing Faith warily. “Yes,” Giles responded slowly.

Faith smirked. “Including burning down a school gym?”

Buffy sighed as her girlfriend smirked. “And there’s the punchline,” she muttered.

Giles was busy opening and closing his mouth like a fish, clearly trying to come up with an appropriate response to Faith’s taunt.

“I... Well, that’s, that’s different. I... That is to say, Joyce and I, we always supported Buffy, and the blame for that, ah, misdemeanour wasn’t exactly solely on Buffy’s shoulders-”

“G, relax,” Faith told him, smirk softening to a more genuine smile. “It was a joke.”

Buffy arched an eyebrow at her girlfriend. “But you’re never gonna let me forget that happened, are you?” she asked wryly.

Her words brought Faith’s smirk back out full force. “Course not, B. Here I thought I was the wild one in our relationship, and then I find out you were kicked out of your old school for burning half the school down! I just wish there’d been photos. Would’ve made a wicked cool Instagram post.”

At that, Giles gave Faith a disapproving look. “Faith,” he warned, “please don’t burn the school down for the sake of a social media post.”

Rather than giving an answer, Faith just grinned mischievously.

 The results of the cheer tryouts went up two days later, in the courtyard at lunchtime. Buffy tried to play it cool all through the first few lessons of the day, before jumping up the moment the bell rang for lunchtime. She was out the classroom and down the corridor before Willow had even finished packing her books away.

Thankfully, Buffy was one of the first people to make it to the notice board, and she frantically scanned the tryouts list for her name. Her heart was thudding in her chest, she felt a little sick with nerves, as she hurriedly glanced through the list.

Her heart thumped harder.

She read the list again. And again.

“Hey, babe,”

Buffy jumped as she heard Faith’s voice, looking round to see her girlfriend to her left, a worried frown on the brunette’s face. Unable to say anything, Buffy just blinked. Faith frowned deeper, then turned to look down the cheerleading list.

“Oh.”

Buffy sniffed, and said nothing. Faith responded to her lack of comment or reaction by lacing Buffy’s fingers through hers and hauling her through the crowd amassing around the notice board. Halfway across the courtyard they bumped into Xander and Willow.

“Buff!” Willow chirped, eyes wide and excited. “How did you get on?”

Buffy blinked at her friend, and Faith shook her head quickly, trying to convey to the other two that questions probably weren’t a good idea right now.

“Sorry, Buff,” Xander told his friend sympathetically.

Faith huffed. “We’re heading to the library. Either come with and keep your mouth shut, or go hang out somewhere else for a bit.”

Faith tugged Buffy along with her again, and Willow and Xander fell into step behind them.

 When they reached the library, Giles took one look at Buffy’s pale, wide-eyed face and held his arms open for a hug. Almost immediately, she let go of Faith’s hand to practically barrel into her step-dad.

“I take it the, ah, the cheer tryouts didn’t go as well as hoped?” Giles asked Faith over Buffy’s head.

Faith shook her head, jamming her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket. “Didn’t make the team. Obviously they had idiots picking the team this year.”

“Quite,” Giles responded as Buffy pulled away. “I might be biased, but I think they made rather a large mistake not putting you on the team.”

Buffy smiled up at Giles with watery eyes. “You have to say that, you’re my step-dad.”

“Hence my bias,” he smiled back.

“On the plus side,” Xander piped up, “you won’t have to spend hours at a time learning routines with Cordelia and Harmony.”

Willow nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah. You don’t even like anyone in the squad. You wouldn’t have had anyone to hang out with.”

Buffy considered this. “That’s true,” she said, though she didn’t quite sound convinced.

Faith made her way across the library then, and she slung an arm around Buffy’s shoulder. “Forget about them, B. We’ll start our own squad. The Sunnydale Slayers.” Faith grinned.

“You don’t do cheerleading, Faith,” Buffy reminded her girlfriend with a roll of her eyes.

“No,” Faith conceded with a shrug, “but I’d be pretty good at throwing you in the air and catching you. Besides, it’s a good excuse to man-handle your butt in public.”

Buffy flushed red at that, while Willow and Xander became remarkably interested in the wall, and Giles coughed awkwardly behind Faith.

“Yes, well,” Giles said as he polished his glasses. “Perhaps the four of you should go grab some lunch from the cafeteria, before lessons start again.”

As the four of them left the library, Faith kept her arm slung around Buffy’s shoulders.

“I’m serious about the cheer squad, B.” Faith grinned down at her girlfriend. “Can’t promise me or Harris will be as good as you, but I’d be tempted to try just to see the look on Cor’s face.”

Behind them, Willow cleared her throat purposefully. “Not really sure I’m cheerleader material, Faith.”

Xander nodded furiously. “Yeah, I second that. For me, I mean. Not Will.”

Faith glanced pointedly over her shoulder at the two of them. “Says who? This is our squad, we decide who makes the team, yeah?” She flashed them a grin.

Buffy giggled a little. “I’m 99% sure you’re joking,” she told her girlfriend, “but there’s one percent of me that’s a little worried you’re gonna get us all wearing matching tracksuits and stuff.”

“Nah,” Faith dismissed easily. “No matching tracksuits.” Then she grinned wickedly. “I just wanna see you in one of those short, cute cheerleading skirts.”

As Buffy flushed red for the second time in five minutes, Xander and Willow groaned and Faith let out a laugh.

[fanficsofmine]

Wake Me Up - Chapter 3

Summertime. Young. Single. Free.

You were living your dream life. You had a great place, amazing friends and a steady job. Independent and happy and free, what more could you ask for?

You didn’t think that meeting Chanyeol at a concert or Minho on the beach would influence your life as much as they did. They weren’t supposed to, anyway.

What exactly are you to do with whirlwind romances that show up when you weren’t expecting them?

Characters: Park Chanyeol, Choi Minho, OC’s and appearances by others.

Soundtrack: Geronimo - Sheppard

Chapter 1, 2

We couldn’t stay late this time. We had added several hours to our trip home and both Presley and I had to be at work early in the morning. It was hard to say goodbye, though. Chanyeol and I linked pinkies as we walked to the car. My heart sank more and more with every step. We exchanged phone numbers on the way, and he promised to FaceTime me from the road as often as he could.

He got to the passenger side with me, but neither of us reached for the handle to open the door. I reached down and fiddled with his shirt. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to get this back to you…”

He reached down and cupped my chin, gently forcing me to make eye contact with him. “This isn’t the last time that I’m going to see you. We’ll figure something out. I promise.”

I smiled at his promise and nodded. He leaned forward and gave me another small kiss before Kihyun, from the drivers side with Presley said, “we really should let them get on the road.” We all agreed and Chanyeol finally opened my door for me. I got into the car and, after one final kiss to my forehead, he shut it.

We started driving home, and I promised to stay up with Presley as best as I could. We talked about her future with Kihyun and what they were going from here. The only answer she had for me was a shrug.

“I missed him. It was like a wave crashed on me when I saw him again, yknow?” I did know. That feeling was all too familiar for me, which is why it made me nervous.

“You don’t think you’re just forgetting the bad to focus on the good? I mean, you told me a ton of stuff he had done to you. I just don’t want bad habits to repeat just because y’all had a good weekend.”

“If they do,” she said, “then at least I got to experience the rush of being giddy again.”

“You don’t want to experience the rush of being giddy over someone new?”

“Different rushes.” Presley looked at me and smiled. “Why? New rush overwhelming you a bit.”

I was glad it was dark, because I knew that I had blushed. I cleared my throat. “Yeah. I… uh… I’m not really sure where that came from.”

“You’re the last person I ever expected to have something like that happen to you.” Presley said. “You’ve been so shut off from the idea of a relationship lately.”

Nodding, I said, “I know. After Mark…” I rolled my eyes. “But maybe that’s why this happened; because I wasn’t looking for it? Does that make sense?”

The drive was rough. Over halfway, I ended up taking over for Presley since she was struggling to keep her eyes open. We made it back to my apartment around 4 am, and both immediately crashed out. Presley made it to the couch and didn’t even wait for me to get her a change of clothes or a blanket. I was fairly certain that I had fallen asleep while walking to my room.

My alarm rang at 7:30 and I whined. I knew that I couldn’t call in. My boss had overheard me talking about my trip, so she had made a comment in passing about “making sure I show up on Monday.” I woke Presley up so she could use the second bathroom to get ready and she rummaged through my closet for work clothes to wear. After a quick shower and light make up, I trudged my way out the door in an outfit that, more than likely, wasn’t going to be considered “professional” enough. I was too exhausted to care though.

My morning conference started out as hell. The coffee I had made at the office had run out too quickly and was taking its time in letting its caffeine kick in. There was no way that everybody around me didn’t notice my eyes flutter closed once or twice. At one point, my coworker Jongdae kicked me under the desk to jolt me awake. I appreciated the gesture, but would have liked his kick to hurt less. Eventually, though, the meeting ended. My boss reiterated the importance of finishing the reports due tomorrow and I nodded as I headed off to my desk to plug headphones in and to block out everyone else.

Punching numbers and collecting data for things such as stock increases and decreases was boring enough as it was. Add in that, tomorrow, my extra quarterly report of what the budget increases would allow for pay increases, and my day felt set up for failure. I groaned to myself that I would never, ever take a trip like that again when I heard a voice over my headphones.

“Long weekend?”

I spun to see Jongdae standing there with a venti from Starbucks stretched out to me.

“I am 99 percent sure that you are my guardian angel.” I gasped as I reached out for the coffee, without even knowing what was inside of the cup. Luckily, Jongdae and I had done enough coffee runs together that he knew how to flavor my coffee for me.

“One day,” he started as he pulled a chair up next to me, “I’m going to get you something completely different, just to watch your face when you take a sip.” I laughed, but silently feared that day.

“How was the trip?” he asked. Jongdae was my one coworker I could be completely honest with. We had trained together, and he and his girlfriend, Nikki, were one of the only other couples I could tolerate being around without feeling like a third wheel.

I thought about how I was going to answer, but Jongdae said, “ahhh! What’s that smile for?!” My hand flew to cover my mouth and I realized that, just even thinking about Chanyeol had brought a grin to my lips.

Embarrassed, I shushed him before spilling the whole story. His eyes grew wide as he said, “wait, wait, wait. Miss ‘I cancel a date because a guy called me pretty so he’s obviously moving too fast’ has met her match?”

“Shut up, Dae.” I rolled my eyes. “Let’s be honest. Now that the weekend is over, I’ll probably never hear from him again.”

Saying those words out loud settled some disappointment in my chest that I didn’t dare show outwardly.

As if the universe was laughing at me, in that exact moment, my phone lit up on my desk. Chanyeol’s name flashed across the screen and my cheeks grew warm.

“Sure. Never again.” Jongdae winked at me and stood up to leave my office. I thanked him again for the coffee, then, after a quick scan to make sure my boss wasn’t around, I opened the text.

Received text: Good morning, gorgeous.

Sent text: Good morning sleeping beauty.

Received text: hey! In my world, waking up before 11 is waking up early.

Sent text: oh the life of a rock star. It must be so difficult to be you.

Received text: thank you for acknowledging my struggle.

Received text: I hope your morning hasn’t been too rough.

Sent text: I’m pretty exhausted.

Sent text: ...but it was worth it.

Received text: I’m glad to read that. What time are you off? Wanna FaceTime before my show tonight?

Sent text: sure! I’ll try to leave by 5:30.

Received text: I’ll talk to you soon then.

I laid my phone back down and got butterflies all over again. He wanted to FaceTime?! It was only one day, but he was genuinely making an effort. I started to wonder how long that would last, but I also knew that I couldn’t do that to myself. I needed to enjoy this for what it was. Whatever it was- it was nice.

Making sure I had hit send on my reports, I grabbed my bag and bolted out of the doors at exactly 5:30 pm. Jongdae told me to slow down and shouted something about leaving when he still has reports to do. I waved my phone at him and told him I would fill him in tomorrow, which didn’t lessen his whines.

Thankful I lived close, I sped home, only slowing down for red lights and the one speed trap that I knew a cop hid behind. I don’t even remember running to my apartment and unlocking the door. Desi’s voice was laced with confusion as she asked if I was okay as I sprinted past her in the kitchen to get to my room. I said, “tell you in a minute!” before shutting the door and sitting on my bed. I took a deep breath, opened my front facing camera to make myself look less disheveled, and then pulled up Chanyeol’s contact name to hit “call.”

It only rang a few times before his face filled my screen. The giddy feeling was back. He beamed at me and I couldn’t help but smile back at his infectious grin.

“She lives!” he cheered.

“Barely! I’m surprised I’m even awake right now. You should feel special that I didn’t come home from work and just pass out.”

“Well thank you for gracing me with your presence!” he teased.

We talked about my day and my job. He asked for details on the reports I had to be done, and it was nice to talk to someone so genuinely interested in learning about me. He told me about their drive from Austin to Albuquerque, New Mexico. Apparently Kihyun and Dojoon had argued about Presley and what it meant for the band since the last time, apparently there was drama.

“It’s great song writing material, isn’t it?” I joked. Subconsciously, I got worried that this would mean bad news for Pres in the future.

Chanyeol shrugged. “Not my relationship. Not my business. They tried to bring you up too but I told them that was my business, not theirs.” I felt a twinge if guilt for gushing about him to other people when he seemed to want to keep it between us, but that faded when he finally said, “I did end up telling them that I thought you were great and I couldn’t wait to get to know you better.”

His ears turned red and he bit his bottom lip, waiting for my reaction to his confession.

“Well, Chanyeol, the feeling is definitely mutual.”

Relief crossed his face and I heard Kihyun in the background calling out to him.

Chanyeol looked disappointed as he said, “I guess it’s time for our sound check. I’ll text you after the show?” I nodded and told him I would talk to him later.

The second that we hung up, Desi threw my bedroom door open.

“Who. the. hell. was. that?!” Her eyes were wide and each word was accented heavily

I buried my face in a pillow and began laughing. She sat down and I filled her in on the whole story. I told her Chanyeol was the reason we had gone to Austin and added an extra day to the trip. I showed her his shirt that I had kept. She stared at me in disbelief.

“You hate love!” she shouted at me.

“I do not!” I objected.

“Yes you do!” Collin called ou tfrom the other room.

“Hey! I didn’t receive your RSVP to this conversation!” I yelled back.

Desi laughed but said, “this is good! This is growth! You’re opening up! That’s amazing.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not getting married tomorrow. I’m just…” pausing, I realized that I had no clue what I was doing. “What the hell am I doing?!” I looked at her and she shook a finger at me.

“Don’t you dare start that! Don’t do that thing where you overthink things!”

“I’m offended at your accusation!” I swung my pillow at her.

“Give this a chance,” Desi’s voice was soft and serious. “You deserve to be happy in love again.”

Sighing, I told her she was right.

We ordered delivery and, immediately after, I passed out. I was so exhausted from not sleeping for most of the weekend that, although I wanted to wait up for Chanyeol’s text, I knew that it wasn’t going to happen.

The next morning, I woke up and, after shutting off my alarm, saw one unread message from Chanyeol on my phone.

Received text: I hope you’re sleeping well, lovely. Talk to you in the morning.

I pulled my phone close to my chest and couldn’t help the smile that crossed my lips. Maybe this was going to be a very good thing after all.

[royaljeongin]

back2u

back2u (one shot)

pairing : taeyong x reader

genre: fluff, rivals!au, (ish) enemies to lovers!au, fake dating!au

word count: 3k words

summary: “i’m always coming back 2 u.” or when taeyong, your enemy and you go through fake dating while trying to not cut each other’s head.

a/n: dramatic twist at the end, it’s been literally a year since ive written so this is rusty.

your heart beat when the teacher announced your name. you got up from your seat to take the corrected exam. you snatched it away from the teacher a bit harshly but you uttered a light sorry before you paid attention to your copy.

99

your heart dropped when you saw your grade and was worried you couldn’t come first this time. you went back to your seat and the brown-haired boy next to you eagerly asked for your grade.

that was lee taeyong.

from as long as you can remember, you guys were always ennemies. a series of events turned both of you from best friends to enemies and rivals. it was either you or taeyong who ranked 1st. and both of you despised the idea of getting 2nd. he was able to have every girl’s heart at the snap of his fingers (except yours) maybe because of his outrageously good looks or maybe because of his likeable personality. either way, you didn’t see where his hype was coming from.

“i got 99 percent,” you silently muttered trying to not make eye contact.

“haha loser, i got 99.5 percent!” he proudly said with his annoying smirk. you rolled your eyes.

“fuck off!”

“maybe next time, you will be able to beat me, my dear,” he boasted before someone interrupted him. it was again one of the girls.

it’s been weeks since she’s been trying to get closer to taeyong and has been constantly pestering him. you looked at him, his eyes didn’t have the same sparkle as before; clear annoyance showed all over his face.

you then observed her, she was pretty but her whole aura felt off as she was glaring at you for no reason. you usually gave her a ‘are you serious?’ look as you thought she could do better but today, you thought that they were perfect for each other. two assholes always make a good couple.

/

school ended and you were in the study room like most students. it was past nine now and you were copying your notes you took that day. you heard footsteps approaching and then, the presence of a boy and you looked up.

“what are you doing here?”

“i just want to discuss something,” he declared while taking out the chair beside him to be able to be next to you. “date me.”

you spat your water on him. you were too shocked. in normal situation, he would’ve yelled at you but he really wanted this so he kept his composure.

“asshole! not real, just fake dating is enough.”

“why would i accept?” you questioned.

he said that the girls that were chasing him were annoying and he had enough. he thought that perhaps, having a girl would make them back off and leave him alone.

“what do i gain from this?”

he smirked while crossing his arms and now comfortably seated with his legs crossed. his eyes had fire burning with confidence.

“money.”

you rolled your eyes. he knew you way too well and you hated to admit it, but money was your weakness. you don’t believe that it brings people happiness but you sure knew that many of your problems surrounded around that. it didn’t seem that bad, accepting money from probably the richest boy at your school seemed very appealing.

“come on, i know you are having difficulties right now. i’ll help you with that. i’m only asking you for one month.”

you looked at his trainers, a pair of white sneakers with classic roses embroidered followed by the green and red stripes from gucci. you bit your lips. you weren’t particularly jealous per say, nevertheless you were curious how life would be when you had all of the money of the world.

“you fix my money problems and you buy me shoes. deal?”

he nodded his head. spending a couple thousands dollars for something beneficial wasn’t bothering him.

“sure bye, i’m going home. i already finished studying unlike you.” he playfully stuck his tongue out as he was leaving the room.

/

you were woken up by the repetitive sound of an alarm. irritated, you quickly reached your phone that was on the nightstand next to you to turn it off. you blinked once or twice before checking the time.

you sighed. today, you were dreading to go to school because of that goddamn oral. even though you practiced more than necessary, you couldn’t help but feel anxious. speaking to a crowd was definitely not your forté.

you finished getting ready as you take out a toasted bread with peanut butter spread on top. you zipped up your coat and carried your backpack. when you got out of the building, the harsh air hit your face.

“you think you’re in some kind of anime?”

you easily recognized this voice.

“fuck off, why are you here stalker.” it was an understatement to say that you were irritated, you liked being left alone in the morning.

“picking my girlfriend up so that we can go to school together dumbass.”

“how do you know where i live?”

“i used to go here all the time come on.”

your heart ached a little bit. he used to be your best friend when you were kids. hell, he was even your first kiss, back in eight grade, but when the whole school knew you were apparently a bad kisser, you hated him ever since. it hurt to admit it, but the moment held a special moment and he was a really good kisser. you wouldn’t have asked for anyone else to be your first kiss.

shocked was an understatement when the majority of your grade saw both of you this morning entering school while holding hands. the rivalry you both had was so legendary that no one would have ever imagined that taeyong and you would be dating.

“so you guys are really a thing now?” asked joohyun, your friend.

you wondered if you should tell the truth but you confirmed that you guys were indeed a thing. joohyun clearly didn’t buy it but you couldn’t explain further as the bell rang. you bid your goodbyes and joined your respective classes. 

the red-haired boy was saving you the seat besides him. he really was going for it. you felt obliged to join him. classes started. as you were taking notes, you felt a poke on your shoulder. taeyong was giving you a note.

‘meet me at the bleachers during lunch. -ty’

/

“people aren’t buying it that we are dating,” you implored trying to start a conversation. he has been looking at you for the past ten minutes and hasn’t yet said anything. 

he grinned.

“what kind of stupid idea you have again?” 

he finally started speaking. “well there’s a reason why i wanted you at the field’s bleachers. there are always a ton people. guys practicing and girls watching them and hoping that they would get noticed by those douche.”

“as if you aren’t one of those douche,” you muttered under your breath. 

“did you say something?” you shook your head in denial. you did not want to argue with him today.

“let’s make it believable then. let me kiss you.”

your eyes widened. it was a sudden proposition and kissing wasn’t part of the whole fake dating scheme.

“are you sure you want to do this?” you asked awkwardly.

“i don’t care.”

you took a deep breath as you nodded your head. he was leaning in and your heart was pounding. you hoped that he wouldn’t hear it. you closed your eyes while the temperature of your cheeks was raising. then you felt it. the plump lips on yours. it sure felt good. he even got better than the first time. he then pulled away. he had a smirk on his face as he felt everyone’s gaze even though you did see a slight blush but maybe your imagination was going crazy.

it wasn’t uncommon to see taeyong make out with someone at a party but kiss someone on school grounds?

that was unthinkable. you heard from others that he always ended up breaking people’s heart because ‘he didn’t do relationships.’ every girl thought that maybe they would be the one to change his attitude but it was you. the last girl he could possibly end up with. 

/

as two weeks passed have passed, taeyong and you spent a lot of times together. you always studied together. even though insults were still thrown at each other, it felt a more playful now. you also went on two dates so that he could take pictures and post pics of you both on his instagram. you were even his lockscreen now and vice versa. 

taeyong was holding your drinks right now. he always had the orginial milk tea with grass jelly, 80% sugar with 50% ice and you also had the original milk tea but with tapioca bubbles, 50% sugar with 50% ice.

you both sat down and you started drinking your bubble tea.

“y/n?”

“hm?”

“why haven’t you had any boyfriend since like forever.”

“i could ask the same question for you.”

“just answer please.”

you quietly thought before answering.

“i think it’s because i am scared of love. you know? feelings are scary. plus, nobody has asked me out anyways. and you? why haven’t you gotten any serious girlfriends?”

“you would laugh your ass off because my answer is the same as yours. except, people always ask me out.”

“how does it feel to be needed? isn’t it special?”

“i guess it was nice at first but they don’t really need you, they like the idea of you or the things you have. that’s way i broke up with my ex. i heard her and her friends say that they liked my money so yeah i am scared of commitment.”

taeyong had an ex, they were seriously dating for 8 months during junior year. he definitely had his heart crushed to small pieces but he got over it with hookups, always no strings attached.

/

it was now the fourth week, you didn’t talk to him. to be frank, you have been avoiding him, avoiding his eye contacts, his phone calls and his texts. at first, taeyong was wondering why but then, it seemed like he didn’t care anymore. you did all of that because you may have realized that you had feelings for him for a very long time and you were terribly scared.

it was one of those sleepless nights where students studied their asses off, trying to cram as much knowledge as possible. you still studied with taeyong but he is a lot more productive than you so he finished earlier. he even proposed to wait for you so that he could walk you home. you insisted that you didn’t need to because you didn’t want to waste his time and you aren’t ready to confront your feelings yet. he didn’t push it so he left. 20 minutes later, you were finished revising your aesthetically pleasing rewritten notes. you packed your back and turned off the lamp on your study table.

you were on your phone while leaving the room. someone bumped onto your shoulder, almost making your phone almost fall off but you caught it at the right time. you let out a sorry and bowed. 

“it’s fine.”

you looked up as the sound of his voice was familiar. it was jung yoonoh more commonly known as jaehyun. he was one of your childhood best friends along with taeyong. they were both still friends but jaehyun and you had drifted away because of different interests. it didn’t take a long time before the long conversations only turned into hi in the hallway. 

“oh hi jaehyun!” 

“hello! how have you been?” he said smiling.

“i have been doing good, my grades are still good.”

“come on, i don’t care about your studies, i wanted to know more about you and taeyong! it seems both of you haven’t killed each other yet.”

you shrugged.

“i guess he isn’t that annoying,” you mumbled.

“taeyong seems to be quite fond of you.”

your heart skipped a beat, it always did when someone said his name.

“i guess he’s starting to fall for you!” he winked. he probably knew about the whole fake dating trope. they would know each other’s secrets without needing to say it.

“don’t lie.”

“i am not y/n, the way he always looked at you. i really don’t know how you guys became enemies overnight.”

“i don’t know he is irritating! i hate everything about him.” you indeed hated his insanely good looks. you hated his sharp jawline when he turned his head to the side. you hated the eyebrow slit that suit him so much. you hated the small scar besides his eye that made him even more special. you hated the way he playfully smiled at you during classes. you hated his habit of ruffling your hair while you were studying. you hated when he genuinely laughed at your dumb jokes because it clenched your heart knowing that all of your interactions were put up for an act.

“sure jan.”

you quickly bid goodbyes and left. the night streets felt extremely lonely. your hands were shaking from the extreme cold. on your way home, you felt a presence behind you, but you were terrified of seeing who was behind you. you were probably overreacting -that’s what you told yourself- but your gut feeling felt like something wasn’t quite right in the atmosphere.

then, someone grabbed your arm and put a hand on your mouth. making you unable to scream for help. you kicked his leg, the person winced in pain and let go of you. you ran but he quickly caught up as you weren’t exactly usain bolt. something hit your head and everything was black.

/

you woke up attached to a chair, duct tape on your mouth. there was an old table with a clock in front of you. too far to reach it but close enough to read the time.

“12:54am”

you felt relieved as your parents wouldn’t be worried because both of them have night shifts. you looked around and found yourself in a dirty huge and abandoned warehouse. plenty of bodyguards were there. it felt so surreal, like a movie. rich people really do live in another universe. a middle-aged man got closer to you to remove the duct tape.

“it’s no use to scream, there is no one.”

panicked, you asked him what did he want.

“i want a part of your boyfriend’s money.”

“he is not my boyfriend. he won’t come.” you tried coming off as confident but your voice was shaking.

“oh, he will my dear. you woke up at the right time, five minutes ago, i sent him a picture of you all tied up on this chair. i threatened him with you in exchange i will get money. what he doesn’t know yet is that he might be killed and he’s threatening to kill me but what can this boy do.”

“who the fuck are you?”

“let’s just say his parents made me go bankrupt, thank god i had leftover money in the black market but they made me lose everything. so i planned a revenge!”

you felt your phone ringing in your coat’s pocket. the man pulled it out and made you look who was calling you.

my soft taeyong

your eyes widened. “let me talk to him, i beg you!”

he put the call on speaker. you were desperately trying to free yourself from that chair. 

“are you okay?” he sounded really worried.

“taeyong!” you screamed to him. “can you hear me? listen, please don’t come and save me.” you choked up your tears.

“just hold on y/n. i am coming whether you want it or not.”

“oh and y/n?”

“y-yeah?” 

“i am gonna tell you when i come, please hold on there.”

“n-” and before you could even finish your sentence, the man hung up. you felt extremely stressed and were hoping that taeyong wouldn’t come. you did not want to lose him. not today.

a dozen of minutes passed. he was there. you couldn’t hold back your tears now. you couldn’t believe his dumb ass was standing at the entrance of the warehouse. the man smiled and taeyong was tense. you could tell that he was scared and yet confident.

the moment he was going to give the briefcase. the police siren could be heard clear and loudly. a swat team barged into the warehouse. it did not take long for the man and his crew to chicken out. the police cut the ropes and you ran towards taeyong.

you legs were now around his waist and your arms around his necks. your lips on his. it tasted sweet and salty from your tears and his honey lip balm. you were still shaking but you immediately found a sense of security while holding him. 

when the kiss ended, you asked him.

“taeyong, what did you want to tell me?” the lights made his beautiful eyes shine.

“i love you y/n for the past i don’t know, ten years probably? i never understood why you hated me. i never did.”

“taeyong, you said i was a bad kisser and it was my first kiss and it was special for me. i don’t know, i hated you since then, probably because i felt like it didn’t mean shit to you.”

“it was my first kiss too and let me tell you, it was magical. since then, i always think of you and how i always come back to you. maybe that’s why i said that, i was afraid that you would actually like me, i am scared of love but now i don’t anymore. so let’s date, for real this time?” 

you smiled and gave him a small peck. he whispered in your ears.

“come on, it’s 1:27 am, let’s go home.”

[littleredroseonthevalley]

Who Do I Want To Be?

Summary: After Emily discovers Alpha Theta Mu’s dirtiest secrets, Nathan considers self-esteem and self-improvement.

Rating: T - Content not suitable for children.  Suitable for teens, 13 years and older, with minor suggestive adult themes.

Mentions of drug and alcohol abuse. Reader discretion is advised.

Words: 2582

Notes: A few years ago, I read this fanfiction on another fandom and it resonated deeply within me. Tonight (as in, two weeks ago, I’m writting from the past), with a few beers in me, I thought how well it would give an alternate ending to the whole Nathan Debacle in TJ.

Here’s the results of my drunk wonderings.

I would also like to anounce I’ll be posting the next chapter for An Opera on Separation, starting Friday. Keep tuned!

Who did I want to be?

Well, certainly not the person I was right now.

Usually, I felt pretty good about the way I am. There was nothing not to like, I was handsome, young, rich and charismatic. I wasn’t good, though, good in the way you hear on the phrase ‘good samaritan’.

I never thought it to be something bad, in fact, I took a deal of pride on it, but I then realized I was also not liked because of it. I wasn’t respected. Not like Emily was.

This is what all boils down to, right? The heart of my problem, Emily Harper, the girl who had made it impossible even to appreciate the person I currently was. I hated myself because of her.

What's worse was I couldn't even bring myself to drown my sorrows in the sweet high of the combination between drugs, alcohol and adrenaline I had been using for so long to fight the ennui.

The mere thought of it disgusted me.

On a second thought, that was what all boils down to, after all. If I wasn’t feeling bored about life itself, I wouldn’t have joined Alpha Theta Mu, and by not joining, I wouldn’t take part on that stupid ‘inner-circle challenge’ for the presidency. I wouldn’t have crashed into Tyler’s car and I wouldn’t even have met Emily in the first place.

Ennui it is.

So I had nothing better to do than sit there and look at some stupid picture of me and a trashy hunk of metal 99-percenters call a car. A blasted piece of damning evidence Beau and Kassidy held to my head that could single-handedly ruin my life.

In that moment, I think about how I managed to mess just about every good thing in my life up. I was perfectly happy with my life before she barged in, screwed up as it was. I feel like I could hate her for it, to hold her responsible for the loss of my peace of mind. To demand a derestrict return to the status quo.

However, the fact is, I didn't want that life back.

Somewhere between all of her concerns about her friends and family, I had started to feel guilty about how I had shut the people in my life out. I don't think I had spoken to either of my parents in at least two months.

Nathan, Snr and Lois Sterling were awful people, I can’t deny, but my father cares marginally about me.

He used to take interest on my academic life back in the day I attended preparatory academies, and he does still send emails asking me about my life. Even if I don’t respond to them.

He still talked to me during whatever meal we shared. Sure, most of the time it was just uncomfortable small talk about the weather or he was just informing me that he and my mother would be going away somewhere or another, but I realized he did care. Somewhat.

When Emily told me about her home life, that disgusting notion of ma-and-pa, dog and white picket fence, I admit I felt jealous. There wasn’t nothing wrong with that girl, I couldn’t identify anything that made her less of a porcelain doll, loved and adored by all, and more of a flawed human like the rest of us.

That rage fuelled my decision to destroy it all, to hit her and make her bleed, just to prove to the world that yes, Emily Harper was a human being like the rest of us. I wanted to see her cry.

That feeling, that reasoning, dictated every action I took so far that pertained her or any of her friends. Turns out, I was approaching the problem the wrong way. I wasn’t supposed to destroy it, I should feel inspired to make something out of myself. That was the beauty of it, that it was what other people saw in her, what I couldn’t see until just now.

So, we return to the million-dollar question: who did I want to be?

A guy who could muster up the courage to speak to his father for the first time in months, for one. I would also like to stop my destructive behaviour and find healthier ways to occupy my time. Well, no problem there for the moment, like I said, the mere thought of it seemed disgusting to me now.

I should probably work on getting myself some decent friends too, because I was pretty sure I hadn’t any left. If I ever had one. I only ever hung out with the Alphas. I had been doing that for a while, I guess.

Yet another thing that changed when I met Emily. She made me want so much more than what the likes of Beau offered, and helped me realize that I didn't belong with those people. I was so sick and tired of pretending to be as superficial as they were.

I’m not sure where was exactly my place, because I’m sure I also didn't belong with the majority of the students at Hartfeld. Most of Emily’s friends were her suitemates on her freshman year, and that propelled me to remember what kind of people were mine.

There was this football player, I remember well. The two of us weren’t friends, per se, but we were amicable. Perhaps because we recognized each other as horrible people? We did manipulate one of the girls that lived with us to assume all domestic work. Back in school I was no better, I had that Sex God thing going on for me and I took more advantage than I should.

So where did I belong?

As cliché as it may sound, I want to say with Emily. Because she was the only person I ever felt connected to. So connected I couldn't keep my hands off of her. Nothing was going to stop me from going after that girl.

Except I screwed it all up.

That's probably the thing I wanted to be most of all, someone worthy of Emily. Clearly, I wasn't. I just brought her into my messed up world and let her destroy herself in the process. I cannot believe I was that much of a jerk. What was I supposed to do about it now?

For starters, it might help if I, instead of just sitting there, whining about everything I did wrong, I just go out there and try to mend the burnt bridges. It wasn't going to magically fix everything but I owed myself to at least try.

Not about to lose the momentum of my decisiveness, and not to think about all the ways it could go horribly wrong, I marched haughtily across campus to her apartment building.

Shortly, I was standing in front of the number 20, sweating out of nerves like a kid on a spelling bee. Mustering up all of the courage I had left, I knocked three times, not more, not less on Emily's door.

I was secretly hoping Zack was the one to open the door and send me away before I could do any more damage than I had already done. He would probably rather kill me with a kitchen knife than let me talk to his beloved roommate.

My petty hopes were dashed when Emily opened the door herself. Or not, really, since as soon as she realized it was me, she then slammed it right back in my face.

I guess I should have expected her to do something like that. God knows I deserve it.

I just knocked on the door again, because what else was there to be done? I was going to argue my case, and I did it by saying, "Emily, please open the door. I'd like to apologize."

I was rather surprised she opened the door after that, I had expected her to ignore me much longer than that. Perhaps she would prefer to see me squirm, instead of just listening to it, or to avoid a scandal with her neighbours. Or even because she was afraid I would go public with that video of Beau’s.

Be as it may, she opened and she was about to speak. "Well, by all means, go for it." She bit at me.

Not that much of a good start, but at least we’re talking, right?

"I'm extremely sorry about what I did.” I said, throwing the best lost puppy look I could muster. “I'm sorry I led you on a stupid, rigged treasure hunt, I’m sorry for letting the Alphas do what they did to you…”

I could not finish my apology before she cut me off. "Speaking of that band of sociopaths of yours, why don't you just go back to them?" She said as she slammed the door in my face again.

She should not try to underestimate my intelligence, though, as this time however, I was prepared and my foot prevented the door from closing completely. Therefore, she had no choice but to look at me while I said, "I’m quitting Alpha Theta Mu." When she didn't respond, I added, "I'm sorry I got you into that mess. I'm sorry I crashed into Tyler, I’m sorry for all the things I did to your friends. I'm so unbelievably sorry for what you lost because of me."

She looked at me for a long time and finally she asked me in a low voice, as if she was afraid to hear the answer. "Why did you sleep with me? Why did you even date me? You could’ve distracted me with something else, with anything else. This was beyond cruel. I thought we were more than that."

Say what you want, but Emily Harper knew how to, and wasn’t afraid of, going straight for the neck. I could have said it was the Alphas, or because she was there for the taking or something else but I decided against that and told her the truth, knowing it probably wasn't going to do me any good.

"We were more than that.” I admit. “I've never had feelings for someone like I have for you. I swear.”

She looked at me in confusion and asked the inevitable question, why did I do it, then?

“I had heard of you before we met at that fundraiser. Everybody did, thanks to that ridiculous award Powell got you.” I couldn’t help but let some of my bitterness arise at that sentence. “You were perfect, Emily. You were loved and adored by all, and it annoyed me beyond anything I can say.”

She scoffed like she thought I was an idiot. I really was, so I guess I can’t fault her for it.

“I’m not perfect.” She said, pointing out the obvious. “I never thought so, and I never said so.”

I sighed. “Indeed, you never did, but everyone thought you were Jesus second coming. It was tiring, especially for someone like me. I wanted to be perfect, and above it all, I wanted to be loved. No one ever cared for me, you know? My parents are dicks, I never had friends like yours. I wanted your life for myself, and if I couldn’t get it, I would destroy it.

“The thing is,” I continued. “I came to find out there was a reason why you were so beloved, and why everybody just kind of stuck up with me to get something out of me. I am just a petty, spoiled monster with way too much time and money in my hands, while you… You might not be perfect, but you’re legitimately nice, you seemed to care about me. I guess I started to like that somewhere along the line. That’s why I slept with you.”

“I did care about you, Nathan.” She said, earnest. “Why didn’t you stopped it all? Why didn’t you just came clean instead of forcing me to find out on my own?”

"You were obviously never going to forgive me anyway.” I shrugged, trying to conceal the pain I felt over it. “It didn't really matter, anyways, I had already hit Tyler’s car, Ortega's record was already ruined, Davenport was already eliminated from her graduate program. I didn’t think it would do any good.”

"So why are you here then?" Emily points out.

"I'm here because I'm trying to be a better person.” I admitted, with my own dose of earnestness. “I just wanted to apologize for what I did to you. It wasn't right. I know peer pressure and jealousy are lame excuses but I don't know what else to say. I swear to you, that wasn't me. I am a better person than that. I just have to start living in the real world again. I'm sorry. I really am."

"Well, you were wrong.” She says, with a glint of something on her eye, I couldn’t tell if it was rage or sadness. Perhaps both. “You were wrong to think you shouldn’t have come clean. Have you ever considered that maybe there's a reason I kept all those secrets from my friends? Even when I could see they were suffering for it?”

“I just assumed it was because you didn’t want to tip Beau off, like I told you.” I said, trying to avoid looking into her eyes.

“No. I did it because I thought it was important to you, too. That I was protecting you.” She says, and I could almost feel the accusing finger on my chest. “I felt this pull towards you as if we had a deeper connection I couldn't run from. I wanted a relationship like that. I didn't care if I had to ruin my life for you, I did it without question. I ruined all my friends’ lives because I was protecting you."

"And you have no idea how much I regret that. If I could go back and change it, I would.” I said, meaning every word.

She sighed, deeply. "I believe you."

I smiled and raised my eyes to meet hers. "So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying our timing was bad.” Emily breathed out, weary. “We shouldn't have been together in the first place. Not like that. Neither of us were ready to have the relationship we should have had."

"So you forgive me?" I tentatively ask.

“No.” She says firmly, and my heart feels like it’s being twisted. “But I will give you the chance to earn it. You’ll go to the Dean’s office and say everything you’ve done and you’re going to accept whatever punishment he deems fit gracefully. You’ll also going to apologise to all my friends. Then, and only then, I’ll forgive you.”

I was probably grinning like a retard. I could do that, I certainly could, it was within my reach, and then Emily would forgive me.

"Good.” I nodded, smiling. “Because I love you. I'm going to do whatever it takes to win you back. We may not have been ready for it then, but we are now. I'm going to fight for you."

"You want to win me back? Be less of a dick this time.”

As she whispered those last words, she stepped onto the hallway and crashed her lips into mine. I definitely wasn't expecting that but having her in my arms again was the best feeling in the world.

I would never let her go again.

I kissed her as if she was the last breath I would ever breathe.

Taglist: @alicars​; @boneandfur​; @cora-nova; @choicesfannatalie​; @emerald-bijou; @kennaxval​; @liamxs-world​; @lizeboredom​; @mfackenthal​; @moodygrip​; @mrsdrakewalkerblog​; @radiantrosemary​; @topsyturvy-dream​

[thenyouturnedbitch]

Homecoming (Billy Hargrove x Named!Reader)

AN: This is so super fucking late I am so so sorry @writing-hargrove . I didn’t like the ending and I wanted it to be perfect for you and then I kept forgetting to post it. I hope this wait was worth it. Happy (belated) Birthday!

Warnings: Swearing?, mentions of Billy’s abuse

Pairings: Billy Hargrove x Named!Reader (romantic), The party x reader (platonic), Billy x the party (platonic)

Word count: 2.3k

You and Billy Hargrove have only been friends for a few short months while at university but it feels like you've known each other forever. You both have a chic 80s revival style and you both are fans of a band called Waterparks. You moved to Texas to escape the drab life you had in Hawkins, you wanted to feel the sun but couldn't afford anything in California. Billy was in the same boat as you, though he moved from California to Texas, mostly to get away from his abusive father.

You had three duffle bags in your arms as you moved through the crowded hall, hitting people with your bags. It felt like you were saying "Sorry" every three seconds. Once you reach your room you put your bags on the floor and reach in your pocket for the key they gave you. You feel around for the key and realize that it's not there. You press your back on the door behind you and sink to the floor, "Hey doll, can you get up you're kinda in the way." You look up to see who was talking to you and your eyes meet a pair of  Prussian blue eyes.

You scramble to get up "I'm sorry I just walked all the way up here to realize that I forgot my key in my car and I didn't want to go back down."

"So you were having a mental breakdown against my door?" He says with a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

"Exactly!" You say lighting up and laughing at yourself. "I'm Rae by the way."

"I'm Billy, Billy Hargrove." You stick out your hand for him to shake it and he just looks at it.

"Are you not going to shake my hand?"

"I would but my hands are a little preoccupied at the moment." He says lifting the boxes he has in his hands.

"Oh, uh sorry. I'll let you get unpacked and maybe we can head down to the quad to check out the clubs." You offer.

"Not much of a group activity guy but I'll go with you."

You smile brightly "Great! Then it's a date. Well, not a date but like you know what I mean." You say slightly flustered that you embarrassed yourself in front of a cute stranger.

Billy was not a group activity person that's true, but you had managed to convince him to do Basketball and Skateboarding since he was good at those things, or so he claimed. You, on the other hand, joined the Drama club and the newly formed MUA group as you had an interest in makeup.

"Billy, sit still, please. I'm begging you." You say as you're trying to apply foundation to his face.

"And I'm begging you to stop, Rae."

"Billy please I just need to practice contouring on someone who is not me, please I'll be done soon if you just work with me." You say putting your hand on your hip.

"You owe me for this Rae."

"No, I don't my birthday is in three weeks."

"What, how did I not know about this?"

"I guess it never really came up."

"You have the same birthday as Sailor Moon?"

"Yeah, I think it's pretty cool. Now sit still so I can do this."

A few minutes later you finish and hand Billy a mirror, "Take a look."

"Am I supposed to looks different?"

"Yeah, it is supposed to 'shade areas you'd like to define or reshape, like your nose, forehead, chin, and cheekbones'." You say reading off of the paper that you were given.

"Really I think I look the same?"

You playfully push him "are you saying my contouring is bad, Hargrove?"

"I'm not saying it's bad, I just don't personally see a difference."

"Wow, if you're such an MUA then you try doing it."

"Okay," He says shrugging his shoulders getting up off the chair he was seated in "Sit down Rae, let the master show you how it's done."

A few minutes later Billy held up the mirror to your face "Mira, es bello como tu."

"Thank you, Billy."

"You speak Spanish?"

"Yeah, I took it for a few years in high school. Your contouring could use some work though. I look like I got into a dirt fight."

You heard your phone ringing from across the room and you jumped up to get it. Looking at the screen you saw that it was Dustin Facetiming you. You accepted his call and smiled when his face popped up on your screen.

"Hey, Rae- What happened to your face?" He says cutting himself off and laughing at you.

"Haha, Dusty. I was letting a friend practice makeup on me because he insisted he was better at it than I am."

"Oh, how is he? I still haven't gotten to meet him yet."

"He's right here, do you want to meet him?"

Dustin opens his mouth but there was a chorus of 'yes' from off camera.

"Is the whole party there?"

"Yeah, and they were supposed to keep it a surprise." He says slightly irritated as the faces flood the screen around Dustin.

"I miss you, Rae." You heard El say.

"I miss you too, El. I'll ask Hopper if you can visit me or I'll see if I can visit whichever is easiest."

"Hey, Rae, who you talking to?"

"Oh, Billy come here," you say waving him over "I have some people I want you to meet. They're some old friends from Hawkins." You shove your phone in Billy's face.

"Woah, Rae, calm down," He says laughing as the voices on the other end compete to be heard. Mike's voice came through the clearest "Wow, Rae he is as hot as you said he was."

"Michael Wheeler!" You scream through the phone whipping it back to face you "I know Nancy has talked to you about that."

"Aw, you think I'm hot Rae? That's so cute." He says while pinching your already red from blushing cheek.

You hear Karen Wheeler from the other end of the phone telling the boys and El that it's time to go home since it's a school night. "I'll talk to you guys later okay? I love you all and I'll try to come home during spring break I've been saving up for it all semester.". You hear a chorus of 'goodbyes' mixed with 'we miss you too's' from their end of the phone before the call ends.

"So, you really think I'm hot?"

"Oh my god, I may have mentioned that you were good looking to them once when I first met you. It was partially because I didn't think we were going to become friends and thought I would just get fleeting glimpses of you going in and out of your dorm." You say the last part very dramatically gripping onto the front of Billy's shirt.

"You're so dramatic you know that?" Billy asks placing his hands on your hips.

You feel your heart skip eight beats at once and you're much more aware of how close you two are, "I am in the drama club Billy, you watched me sign up for it the first day."

"I can be pretty dramatic when I want to be too ya know?"

"Oh really?" You say loosening your grip on his shirt as you look up at him with an eyebrow raised.

"I am one of the most dramatic people you know."

"Billy, I know the entire drama department of this university so I highly doubt that."

Before you were even done saying the last word Billy had his lips on yours and you were tasting the menthol cigarettes that he always smokes. As soon as the kiss started it was over, Billy pulled back and mumbled an awkward apology before leaving your dorm. You stand there stunned from the compulsiveness of the two acts.

You wake up to the sun shining on your face and you nearly jump out of bed when you realize what today is, the mood is dampened by the fact that you haven't talked to Billy since the kiss you shared. You go through the motions of the day and you try to facetime the kids at your normal time and no one answers, not even Dustin and he always makes sure to answer you, you were pretty sure that was because he had a tiny crush on you. The worst part of the day was the fact that you were completely alone on your birthday.

Climbing onto the bed with your laptop, you wrap yourself in a blanket burrito and turn on Brooklyn 99 when there is a knock on the door. Groaning you pause the show and unwrap yourself you head over to the door and open it but no one was there. You look both ways down the hall to see if you could catch a glimpse of the person who might have done it or seen who did it. You lean your head on the door frame and sigh reality setting in that you truly, one-hundred percent are alone on your birthday. You see a piece of construction paper taped to the white door and peel it off to look at it.

'I am the place where I first fell in love 'under the sea' with you'

The paper didn't have a clue as to who wrote it, so that made the riddle even more confusing and you didn't know anyone who loved you. The 'under the Sea" part had some significance to you since you were in a production of The Little Mermaid in one of the first few months that you were in the first semester. Still confused out of your mind you throw on some actual clothes to walk across campus in and head to the theater.

You saw another note on the door of the theater this one reads 'Where you left your room key on Moving Day'. Staring at the paper you start to want to kill whoever made this scavenger hunt riddle thing 'I left my key in my car and that's on the other side of campus by the dorms, which is where I fucking started.' you think to yourself and you begrudgingly start the trek across campus again.

The note on your card wasn't even a riddle it just said 'Go to the quad'. 'Why am I letting this paper tell me what to do?' you think to yourself as you make your way to the quad. On arrival at the quad, you see that it is set up for an event or something but it was eerily quiet and deserted. On one of the tent legs is a final piece of paper 'Facetime Dustin.'. 'Why is this paper telling me to call Dustin when I did once today and he didn't answer? How did they know I know someone named Dustin?' you pull out your phone and Facetime Dustin.

You hear your end of the phone ring, then you hear Dustin's ringtone which happens to be the Ghostbuster's theme song. You look around to find where the noise was coming from and you couldn't find the source because after a few seconds the sound is cut off and Dustin answers.

"Dustin, what is all of this? I am so confused, why didn't you answer my call earlier? I'm all alone on my birthday. Maybe I should move back to Hawkins, I don't have any friends here." All your emotions from the day came pouring out over the phone.

"Okay, first of all, Rae, calm down. This was all Billy's idea to surprise you so turn around." Dustin hangs up and you sigh, tired of this game and you turn around begrudgingly.

"Dustin, what are you doing here?" You say walking up to the boy and pulling him into a hug.

"Billy saw how much you missed us and offered to fly us all out here for your birthday on such short notice."

"Us?"

"Yeah, Us, Rae." You hear Mike's voice from behind you and you turn and see all of the kids standing in front of you. You feel the tears start to pick at your eyes.

"Get over here and give me a hug you little assholes." You say as your voice cracks everyone encloses you into a hug.

"Hey what am I?" Billy says left out from the hug.

"You can get over here and hug me too dumbass." You say as you are full on crying.

After the hug fest everyone is hanging out and you see Billy sitting by himself and go over to thank him.

"Billy, thank you so much for this. I don't think you understand how much this means to me." You place a kiss on his cheek.

"Can you not do that, God Rae."

"What's wrong? What did I do."

"Can't you see, I don't want to be your friend, I want to kiss your neck."

You get a really dizzy and slightly nauseous feeling, as the rush of all these emotions is catching up with you. You push your lips against his fervently, making him fall back a little. When Billy regains his composure he puts his all into this first kiss that you have shared.

"Wow, I didn't think he had the balls." You hear Lucas say and you break the kiss resting your forehead on Billy's laughing at the boy's statement.

"These kids are little assholes you know that?"

"They're a package deal with me."

"I'll keep this package forever"

"When do I get to meet your stepsister?"

"I'll plan a trip for that. I want to show you my beautiful California." He adds with a cheeky wink at the end.

You push him playfully "Billiam, you are so inappropriate."

"That's what you love about me."

"You're right."

[zoestagg]

Ironman Cairns 70.3: The Bike & Run...

He put his arm around me and leaned in, talking low.

“This isn’t me being mean, this is just what we need to do.” I couldn’t be sure, but I think I recognized him as the man who asked last year in the middle of a monsoon in Indonesia, if I had another lap left. He continued gently, raising his voice just slightly to compete with my sniffles, “You’ve missed the cut-off, we don’t make them to be mean I promise,” I nodded, miserably. “But look, love,” I’m 99 percent sure he said something like that, if not the actual quote — the sentiment. “You are welcome to continue. You will be an DNF, but the course is open. Get out there and give it a go!”

I nodded again and carried my squished, hotel-made onigiri to the Run Out.

He wasn’t the only angel in T2, but we need to struggle through 90 km of biking before we meet her.

Where were we? Ah yes, fresh from having our hopes dashed in the inky foam of the Coral Sea. I found out after that Ryan had dialed up my mom on FaceTime to let her watch me pedal out, and when he saw that I was in a full hysterical breakdown, realized that there is nothing about my performance in any given triathlon that is safe going live. In the weeks since the race, I’ve had a realization about my relationship with the sport.

Being pregnant and giving birth is like a universally horrific and painful experience, right? And yet, there’s all these people out there with more than one kid. I was told it’s because “It’s so worth it in the end, you forget how awful it is.”

GIRL.

I remember every last excruciating millisecond of those 257 days. For that experience, that old yarn does not add up. BUT. Apparently I can spend a whole race scared and crying, and FAIL in the strictest sense of the word and come home and immediately pick races on the two continents I’m missing. (Ecuador and Cape Town, I’m coming for you.)

ANYWAY. We’re on the bike. I’d heard in the little performance art piece about the course the day before, that there’s a dude who just travels the world doing every single IRONMAN event, and he’s declared that the Cairns bike course is the most beautiful.

Oh, you beautiful tropical fish.

You can look anywhere but at the pavement right in front of you while you’re riding? What is that even like?

Someday, I’m going to start a very important translation service: taking the official Course Description copy and making it REAL. Here’s how they described it:

The undulating, and winding course will take athletes past Thala Beach Resort and Hartley’s Croc Farm to the turnaround point, approximately 6km south of Wangetti, before heading back to Port Douglas.

Here’s what it is:

Undulating STRICTLY means up and down, but there’s an undertone of gentle that… let’s just say on an out-and-back loop, there is no rejoicing in racing a downhill, there is only knowing that it will soon be a grueling uphill. The constant hills were tough, but what really ripped me to shreds was the texture of the road and the headwind. In the course brief, we’d been warned that the roads were “county roads” and that we’d be best to try to ride in the left-hand wheel rut. Like the pioneers did. I did not know much about the types of pavement before this race, but I now know that peculiar specifically to asphalt, is a soul-crushing theft of effort. I could NOT get a leg up on it. I pedaled and pedaled and watched my speedometer and worried.

I managed one successful water bottle exchange while still moving and felt like a (slow and wobbly) boss. The road up the coast and back was closed, blessedly. It took 30 miles or so, but eventually I stopped cringing and remembering the awfulness of last year with every course monitor’s scooter that roared up behind me, and I pedaled.

On the way back, I crested a hill and saw a tent. By this point, I was already doing the complicated math as to whether I was going to make it to T2 in time, and a guy stepped out from the tent and motioned with his hand.

OH GOD. IS HE PULLING ME OFF THE COURSE? IS HE GOING TO MAKE ME GET IN A SWEEPER WAGON?

“I just need to let you know,” he started…

NO NO NO NO NO

“That this is the top of the last hill!” He looked triumphant and helpful.

I started crying. Again.

I don’t know, fam, but I’m probably going to need some kind of special warning vest for next race.

Eventually, I was out of the winding coastal road, and on back roads in to town. Then, the wind kicked up. Now of course I didn’t expect the race to be a glassy pool and a spin bike in an air-conditioned room, but DANG. When they say Australia basically just wants to kill you, you don’t imagine your death will be from all the effort needed to overcome inertia, but here we are.

I hit what had to be one of the last aid stations, and wanted water badly. I hadn’t done a great job of eating on the bike, because eating at 20 mph is freaking hard, but I’d been hydrating pretty good. I considered trying to exchange bottles and then just stopped.

“I’m not good at this usually, and I’m really not good at it tired.” I explained to the nice volunteer.

Those last five miles… were peak struggle. Everything was screaming, I was sick of the wind, and I just wanted off the bike. Eventually I started seeing people on the run course. Oh yeah, I feel like THIS, and I have a half marathon to run now.

Fun vacation.

Bike: 4:22:55

All I remember about getting to T2 is that it was full of bikes already. Suddenly, a lady in a volunteer shirt materialized next to me.

“You all right? Brilliant job, let’s get you to your spot.” She steered me through the racks as I walked my bike in a daze of tears.

“I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m just going to… I’m okay.”

I was trying to tell her my dismal scene needs I must act alone, but she wasn’t having it. She stayed next to my spot, chatting as I wobbled to get my bike shoes off. “Here’s the good news!” She continued. “While the cut-off has technically passed, you have loads of time!” There it was, the official proclamation that I’d busted. “One year,” she continued, “I only made it with ONE minute to spare. Another year, one of my friends took 12 whole hours to finish the Half, but he did it!”

Wait, I might be crying again…now.

“Why don’t you see what you can do? Start the run and see how it goes.” I got my running shoes and visor on, and slipped on my fuel belt. “You all right? Good luck, you’ve got this!”

I headed out, and got the official okay to keep going from the kindly course director at the beginning of this saga, and gingerly started to trot. This is where I finally felt like there was a part of me that could do this. All of the running off the bike all training cycle kicked in. I’d been WRECKED on the bike, and now I felt…okay?! What’s even happening?

I ran past Ryan and Frankie and told them I was going to give finishing a go, and trotted on. I WAS DOING THIS. The run course was flat as a pancake and packed with spectators. I started to catch up on the fuel I missed on the bike, and relished the full-fat Coke at each aid station. I wouldn’t touch the stuff if I wasn’t trying to kill myself physically in other ways, but when you are? It tastes like heaven. I had it on my Fuji climb last weekend, and can confirm — Gatorade, who?

There were still tons of 70.3 competitors out there when I started, but as they dwindled, I was VERY careful to make myself as invisible as possible. I stayed well out of anyone’s way racing the 140.6, hugging the shoulder of the path and waiting at the aid stations until they were totally clear before I approached. (The run course was on an esplanade with splash pools, which Frankie took full advantage of.)

Omg those aid stations when you’re not the last one on the course? STOCKED. The run was two laps of the same loop, so the second time through — finally feeling like I was going to very maybe finish this thing — I thanked the volunteers handing out watermelon, “This is my favorite restaurant in Cairns!” I had a lot of time to think on the course, and while I spent a lot of time feeling bad about taking so long, it occurred to me that if the race was only the fastest people, they would miss out on a heck of a lot of entry fees from us back-of-the-packers. While it’s weird to do a sport with professionals out there at the same time, I’d like to think by virtue of it being inclusionary, they can offer more amenities and support to everyone.

I don’t know exactly when I knew I would finish, maybe after the first loop, when my feet were still dry, there was no monsoon, and I was kind of feeling physically… fine? Fine-ish? I was IN THIS. No, I didn’t strictly run the entire way, but I kept moving forward, every single step that much closer to the finish line. Finally, I could hear the announcer and the bells and drums and cheering of the end.

Here’s where I put my finish in humiliating perspective: The woman who won the FULL had a faster time that me doing the HALF. I don’t know what to tell you guys, I’m slow AF. But I have a heck of a lot of Don’t Quit. I ran down the finish line shoot, with the guy on the microphone announcing my name. I got to the end, and he said, “It’s all right to stop now, you made it!”

And then I cried a little more.

Run: 3:30:24

Total: 9:11:22

I did all 70.3 miles of it this time, and THIS TIME, I got a daggone towel.

Triathlon takes a LOT of time. Not just racing one when you’re slow like me, but training. This was Ryan and Frankie’s race too. They let me disappear for half of every weekend day, they helped me get my bike on four different planes, they spent all day figuring out where I’d be when to cheer me on, and hung out on the esplanade for hours while I struggled away at the last 13 miles. And my coach, who kept me honest and on track and encouraged me the whole way, I couldn’t have done this without them. 

Triathlon IS a team sport, if you do it right.

(So I think in the whole “you forget how bad giving birth is” is because babies are so delightful? I mean, talk to someone who has both given birth AND eaten their first meal the day after a long-course race — this is not a comparison that works out well for babies if that meal is artisanal avocado toast and a Bloody Mary, I’M JUST SAYING.)

Part 1: The Swim...

[doomandgloomfromthetomb]

Feist Interview, 2005

Another Sunday interview! This was kinda pre-fame Leslie Feist -- as you’ll see, I think I mainly knew her from guest spots ... of course, pretty soon, she was much bigger than all of her collaborators.

Canadian singer/songwriter Leslie Feist, fresh off guest appearances on records by such disparate artists as Peaches, Kings of Convenience, and Broken Social Scene, finally steps into the limelight with her solo album Let It Die. Actually, the album is fairly old by now -- it's already gone gold in France! But it's just now getting a stateside release courtesy of Cherry Tree and Interscope Records.

It's about time. The album, recorded in collaboration with the artist known only as Gonzales, is a close-to-perfect collection that highlights the seductive beauty of Feist's vocals, as well as her burgeoning songwriting talent. While on a tour stop in Atlanta, she answered some of Junkmedia's questions.

I was able to see you opening for the Kings of Convenience about a month ago in Boulder, Colorado. I wanted to ask you about that show since before you came on Erlend Oye came on and told the crowd that you were barely able to stand up, but you were going to play anyway. What was going on?

Wow, that was actually a great night. It was the strangest thing - about an hour before I was supposed to go on, I started feeling awful. I could barely move and felt like I might vomit. Everyone backstage was saying you need to lie down, don't go on. But I said if I lie down I'm going to feel worse! So I crawled onstage and attempted to play. But the audience was super quiet and I could sing at about a quarter of my usual volume -- thereby discovering a whole new way of performing! I said afterwards "Why can't it be like this every night?" Not getting sick, of course, but that kind of performing. I was just tip-toeing a little more delicately and was freed from the more normal stuff I'd been doing. It was great.

How did you hook up with the Kings of Convenience in the first place?

I met Erlend at a festival when I was touring in Europe with Gonzales. It was Erlend doing this DJ set that was way different from what he does with the Kings. So it was 4 in the morning and he and I started kind of shouting at each other over this really loud abrasive DJ set. He said, "Oh I have this other band where we play this quiet guitar music" and I said "Oh yeah, I play this quiet kind of music too." I'm not sure what he thought at first -- with Gonzales we were doing this prankster/vaudeville act. I don't know if he believed me or if he thought I was just Gonzales' weird sidekick.

But I gave him a tape with some of my four-track demos on it. At the time, I had never even heard of the Kings of Convenience. But a little while later I started getting e-mails from a bunch of people who had heard the tape. And it turned out that Erlend and Eirik had started burning CDs of the demos for people all over the place -- all of their friends basically. Which was great, I really appreciated it. And then finally, I went out and bought Quiet is the New Loudand I was just amazed -- I realized that these guys were really masters. So it all came out of this sort of mutual admiration thing.

How did you end up singing on their last album [Riot On an Empty Street]?

A few years later, we were playing a gig in the back of this Chinese restaurant, and when we were done we asked if anybody had anything to play. And of course, Erlend jumps onstage with Eirik and they play "Cayman Islands", and I couldn't fucking believe it. This was before that song was on any record. So then afterwards, over our noodles, we were staring at the floor and kicking the carpet and then finally someone said, "Maybe one day we should do some recording together."

What were the sessions for that album like? How do you approach the collaborative process?

It was a different experience. I'm kind of a solitary writer. When I'm writing, I'm in a room with the door locked. I mean that as an analogy, not an actual thing. But it sort of happens when it happens. There'll be one idea and I'll throw it together with another idea and three weeks later I'll remember the whole thing. But with collaborating -- it's sort of like kissing someone for the first time. If you put a lot of pressure on it, if you think too much about it, it'll be a terrible experience. If you just let it happen, you know, it'll be a really nice kiss. On the Kings record, they invited me over to the studio and played me something like nine tracks that they had already recorded and just asked if there was anything I thought I could add. And a lot of the stuff I just said, this is fine the way it is. A lot the process was us buying a bag of oranges and sitting around eating them and trying things out on the songs.

I don't mean to just talk about your contributions to other people's records - since obviously you've got your own album out. Of course it took a while for Let It Die to be released in the States. How old is this record for you now?

It's been almost two years since those recording sessions. Some of the songs have maintained their altitude, while others, I'm wondering why I ever recorded them. But that's sort of the whole point of recording -- it's a snapshot of a certain time. And that's what makes playing live so great - you can recreate the songs in a live setting and change the things you might not like anymore.

Did you have an overall vision for the record when you were making it?

The truth is that we didn't know we were making a record, at the time. We'd been on tour and Gonzo started lifting some of the melodies from my four track recordings and putting them onto the piano. Playing the melodies on piano makes them naked - they become stripped down and they don't speak of any genre. So him doing that opened the door to some other ideas and we just started to re-record some of the demos. We just went song by song. Actually we started by recording some of the covers -- it was like the lab door had been opened, so let's see what we can do. My own songs were 99 percent done, but they just weren't quite finished. "Gatekeeper" was already written and everything -- I had the melody and most of the lyrics -- but I couldn't quite figure out how to put the chords around it. But Gonzo put it onto the piano and that led us back to the guitar and we were able to go from there.

You cover a pretty wide range of styles on the record. Were you trying to make a really diverse album?

Some melodies will come to you and it already has the lyrics, the story or the mood in them. They'll just sound dark or happy or sad and then it'll lead you to the right genre leanings. Some melodies just go in one direction. So you have to try to wrap the instruments around the song and try to give it life.

How did you select the cover versions that appear on the record?

I had just gotten over my phobia of singing other people's songs. So Gonzo and I figured -- why not? It wasn't a big deal. There's just something about leaning on a piano in a Paris studio that makes you want to sing other people's songs. And when it came time to put together the album, we had 20 songs to choose from and by then it didn't matter which ones I had written and which ones I hadn't. It wasn't an issue anymore - we put on the songs that seemed to belong together. I don't think I'll do any covers on my next album though. Though I may do something that's sort of traditionally based like "When I Was A Young Girl." I like doing those songs, because otherwise they don't survive. Those songs occupied the same place that people's CD players occupy today. So it's nice to keep them alive.

Do you have plans to head back into the studio for a follow up anytime soon?

It's all written -- or at least I have 20 embryos of songs waiting to be recorded. They aren't completely finished. They've been tucked in a box in my head for the last two years. So I'm going to start recording this fall hopefully.

[artificialqueens]

Tectonics Ch. 3 (Katlaska)- Hexen

AN: Not sure if I’m doing romantic pairings yet. I’ve got a setup that works for Katlaska (duh lol), Trixya and/or Shalaska, or none at all, so let me know what you prefer! Also I have my own Tumblr now wooo.

Summary: After All Stars 2, things between Alaska and Katya are—in a word—awkward. Their budding friendship fizzled out in the heat of the show, and even though they’re back to normal life now, neither really knows how to change things back … until one of them gets sick.

The hospital ride was a stressful, hellish blur. Everything was too loud and too cramped and too…scary, if Katya were being honest. It felt like she was watching the scene from above rather than actually acting it out, and she curled into her own mind as things got more intense in order to cope. She wished Trixie were there to give her a hug (she gave the best ones). Or Alaska, though that wasn’t really possible at the moment. It wasn’t until they finally arrived at the emergency room that she finally snapped out of her daze, just in time to watch Alaska’s eyes flutter slightly.

As she was lowered on a gurney and pushed through the hospital doors, Alaska didn’t open her eyes fully, but she did manage to get out three words.

“D-don’t,” she started, with Katya following her and listening intently as if her life depended on it, “Tell. Michelle.”

As Alaska disappeared into the depths of the hospital and Katya was relegated to the front entryway, she stood in a completely stunned silence. She felt a bit slighted for some reason. It just didn’t feel real, none of it felt real. Remarkably, she felt like crying and hysterically laughing at the same exact time, but her emotions felt so out of control and scrambled that she didn’t know which to start with.

Taking a trembling breath, she slowly lowered herself into a waiting room chair, her head foggy and breath shallow. What the actual fuck just happened?

A buzz from her phone pulled her out of her stupor momentarily.

“Everything OK?” It was from Michelle. Fuck, Katya realized, they had been gone for a long time.

She could—and if she were honest, she should—tell Michelle what was happening. It was the logical and responsible thing to do. She should tell Michelle to high tail it to the hospital, to call Alaska’s family, and to take Alaska off the tour roster for now because she clearly wasn’t well. But Katya hesitated. Because she never claimed to favor to the logical and responsible.

“All good,” she texted back hastily before it really sunk in what she was saying—well, really what she was not saying. “Taking longer than we thought to find stuff. Finish rehearsal without us.”

Oh fuck. Why’d she have to go and listen to Alaska. She clearly wasn’t the best judge of action at the moment, but even so, Katya felt that external guidance, even from the worst source, was better than none at all. Still though, she felt queasy, and had to swallow a few times to shake the sinking feeling that she was going to vomit all over the waiting room chairs.

Katya was an amazing friend, a hilarious confidant, and damn good at cheering people up, but she sometimes didn’t know how to handle the more serious stuff. The kind of stuff that seemed to embed and burrow into her brain to haunt her. The kind of stuff that kept her up at 4 in the morning, worrying about whether if that joke she made on UNHhhh would cause Trixie to get sick of her, or whether she was good enough or deserving enough of the fans who made her art that night, or whether that party comment she made to Alaska that she replayed over and over and over and over in her head made her a bad person and if she and the snake queen were OK or not.

She guessed she had somewhat of an answer to the last one, since it seemed that Alaska wasn’t OK period. Still though, she wanted something tactile to cling to, and as if the stars aligned and someone heard her pleas, that’s exactly what she got in the form of two completely different text messages

“Where are you??” one read. From “Tracy Martel.” With a picture of a Malibu Barbie doll as the contact’s photo. Trixie.

“Tell Alaska to stop goddamn ignoring my shit. No 1 word answers either,” read the other. From “Ooky Spooky.” With a picture of a Count Chocula cereal box as the contact’s photo. Sharon Needles.

Katya let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding at the sight of the texts. For some reason, telling Trixie and even Sharon, whom she wasn’t very close to, about Alaska seemed to be less intrusive than her telling Michelle. Plus Alaska hadn’t told her to not tell anyone period, just not the mama bear. Katya could live with that. She supposed she shouldn’t tell them during rehearsal though, when so many others were around to get suspicious. Drag queens were nothing if not gossipy.

“Meet me at my apt after rehearsals,” Katya texted Trixie. “Bring Needles. Will explain there.”

Cryptic? Yes. But also pretty damn serious for a Katya text. 99 percent of her texts to Trixie were stream of consciousness rants or poop emojis or random ass gifs of celery or frogs or Costa Rica, so she knew that the even tone of the message would show the Barbie queen that something was up without her having to say more than that. God she was thankful for their friendship.

She was less sure of what to say to Sharon, so she figured just biting the bullet would be the best course of action.

“Can you meet Alaska, Trixie, and I after the show? My place. Important,” she rattled off, before shutting off her phone. She knew she’d be getting follow up texts, for sure from Sharon and maybe from Trixie, but she didn’t feel equipped to deal with that right now. Katya figured that felt her texts were serious enough to get them to her place without too many questions. She hoped she was right.

She had only been sitting for a half hour when a nurse called her over, Katya practically tripping over her own shoes as she surged forward.

“She’s awake now,” the nurse said. “You can go in.”

When Katya walked through the door of Alaska’s hospital room, and when she finally spied the queen she had spent so much time worrying about in the waiting room, she was overwhelmed with emotion.

Alaska looked beat, and not in a good way. There were bags under her eyes and she was still a touch too pale, and the way her shoulders hunched forward made Katya want to pull her into a hug. So she did.

Not a word was said as Katya walked straight up to Alaska and pulled her into her chest. She held her there firmly, the only movement being her hand, which lightly rubbed the back of Alaska’s neck.

Alaska took a few short shaky breaths as tears started to drip down her face.

“I’m sorry Katya, ugh. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I’m so sorry,” she said. “This is so embarrassing.”

Alaska leaned back to pull away from the hug, but Katya’s arms stayed firm and pulled her in in even closer.

“Don’t,” Katya said. “Don’t say that.”

“I didn’t think this would happen, I never would’ve b-brought you if I thought—“

Katya put her hands on Alaska’s shoulders and gently pushed her back a tiny bit so they could see eye to eye.

“Alaska don’t. That was so fucking scary, I can’t even—“ Katya started. “I can’t even explain how fucking happy I am that you’re awake.”

“I’m really sorry,” Alaska said as Katya drew her closer again. The hug was extremely comforting for them both. Alaska had woken up confused and shaky and afraid, but something about having Katya there with her arms around her made her feel stable and OK again. For Katya, having Alaska physically in front of her with her eyes open again helped calm some of the word hurricanes blowing through her brain.

The two queens took deep breaths, basking in the moment, before Alaska finally pulled back more to look directly at Katya.

“Thank you,” she said quietly. “For helping me. I’m really sorry.”

Katya smiled sadly. “I know,” she said. She had so many questions on her mind, and even in this delicate situation, she wasn’t one to try and beat around the bush. Katya respected Alaska a lot, but she felt she deserved to know what the hell was going on, even if the question was ill-timed.

“Alaska,” she began. “What…the fuck happened to you?”

The snake queen swallowed and looked down at her fingers, picking at them a little bit.

“I, um, I fainted,” said Alaska. “The doctor said it was a lot of things. Lack of sleep, not enough water, too much stress, not enough food. It was my own fault really. I can usually feel it coming on more, but this time I didn’t really realize how bad it was until I was in the aisle, and by the time I did, nobody was around before I, well, hit the floor.”

The thought of Alaska panicking in the aisle by herself before fainting made Katya’s frown deepen, but something else Alaska said caught her attention.

“You said you can usually feel it. How much does this happen?”

Alaska looked down, fully ashamed.

“Not often,” she said, training her eyes anywhere but towards Katya. “It’s my own fault, I was stupid. I’m sorry.”

Katya sighed.

“You don’t have to stay, I’m OK now,” Alaska added. Katya’s eyes snapped up in surprise. “You’ve already done more than enough. You should get back to the other queens, I promise I’m fine.”

“You are not fine,” Katya said. “And you are not going home by yourself.”

“Katya, I haven’t been home in literal weeks, this was just a spell, I am completely fi—“

“No, you’re not,” Katya interrupted simply. “You said you were sorry, you can show me you mean that by listening to me. You’re coming home with me tonight.”

Alaska put her head in her hands, tears beginning to well up as she felt helpless yet again that day. “Katya, you’ve done enough, I don’t want to be more of a burden, I want to handle this myself.”

She couldn’t see Katya with her head in her hands, but she felt the older queen’s hand on her knee, and when she spoke, it was noticeably softer.

“I know. And you will. But tonight, I need you to come back with me. Please Alaska.”

Alaska knew she had put Katya through enough that day, and whether she liked it or not, she owed her. She met the other queen’s eyes before giving a small nod, wiping away the tears that threatened to spill.

“OK,” she said. “OK.”

As Katya felt her phone buzzing in her pocket, no doubt with questions from Sharon and/or Trixie, she said a silent prayer that she was really doing the right thing after all.  

[sixseasonsofodestawithatardis]

Odesta One shot- A christmas surprise

A/N: Finally I stopped procrastinating and made a christmas based Odesta fic for fun and even better posted it on the day- So this is not canon compliant as Finnick is alive as he should be and well Annie and their Son decide to make a surprise for him, heads up theirs also a reference to book which I’ve added into two other oneshots I’ve written called ‘Showing I care’ and ‘Showing I care Annie’s POV’ so you may want to read them first... Just type those titles into the bottom of my blog to find them or PM me for the link! Merry Christmas Guys! 

A Christmas Surprise 

“Okay kiddo, we have a couple of hours to decorate the house and surprise Daddy! Are you ready?” I said excitedly to the seven year old who was beaming up at me exposing the dimples he shared with his father.

Our usual tradition was that me, Finnick and Joshua would decorate the whole house together in time for Christmas with the stockings on top of the fireplace and the tree in a corner of the room its bristles poking in every which way, and most of the seashells being put on the bottom part of the tree as that was really the only place the little one could reach without the help of me or Finnick,  next to the big window that gave you a view of the Victors village.

You could see two grey houses opposite and the beginning of a third (which used to be Mags’s) and towards the end of December when it got bitterly cold and the fireplace was used twenty four seven snow would fall and the grey would somehow feel a bit more cheerful than what it usually is.

However this years tradition has been changed a little due to a visit to our local baker a few weeks back…

Me, Finnick and Josh were spending the day together and went into the market where I used to run the stall for my mum and dad and back when my necklace and bracelets were sold…Before the rebellion and before Christmas was more cheerfully celebrated and affordable for everyone.

Anyway a few weeks before Christmas we always went as a family to the local bakery to get some cookies; which Josh was addicted too and made both me and his dad swear to never tell the baker that his uncle Peeta would bake them better, and to see if they had anything else that caught our eye as they usually had a little window display showcasing little gingerbread men; and the typical hot cross buns with their white icing perfectly creating a small cross shape on the bread which was tinted green due to the seaweed in the mixture (it was the same for the bread however the buns were more sweet than the bread)

When we were in there we weren't disappointed the display looked amazing, the gingerbread men were placed outside a gingerbread house with icing outlining the windows which were made from some sort of blue sugar syrup, doors made from chocolate, as well as the tiling of the roof which was made from the same gingerbread mixture as the house.

The men were also looked delicious with one being iced with a red glossy dress with circular candy cane mints at the bottom, matched with equally glossy yellow hair which was curled at the bottom, whilst the second one had a cardigan for little gumdrops acting as the buttons and the eyes as well as blue trousers. The thing that made it even more spectacular this year was that the green hot cross buns acted as little bushes near the house with little flowers being in the middle of the iced cross section.

The store itself was busy and was decorated with all sorts of Christmassy things such as mistletoe dotted around the store and the smell of cinnamon and sugar ambled its way into the air and the shelves were stacked with all sorts of biscuits from shortbreads to snickerdoodles and mince pies (which I detest because of how sour they are but my little brother used to love them) as well as the chocolate cookies with a decorative star on them which josh had asked for so whilst I got in the queue Josh and Finn went to go look at display which wasn’t unusual as they both had a sweet tooth and were always amazed as to what the baker could create plus it did look pretty effortless this year…

When we were home and sitting comfortably in the living room with the fire crackling away. i gave Josh his cookie as he started to jump up and down after waiting rather impatiently for his sweet treat and his father who was sitting next to me on the plus sofa with his arm over my shoulder, a piece of cake which smelt strongly of lemon and felt soft enough that it would crumble in your hand even though the top was covered in a sticky layer of sauce or syrup or maybe icing (to which I would never be able to tell the difference)

To which he was a bit surprised as he wasn’t expecting anything but it made him chuckle making his sea green eyes shine and go a darker shade of green like the dark green of grass after its rained,

“I thought you weren't getting me anything from the bakery as in your words I had enough cake to eat for a lifetime!” He said beginning to eat his way through the slice the golden crumbs going all over his jumper!

“Well it is Christmas plus I thought I’d surprise you” I said cheerfully placing my head in the crook of his neck all I could smell was the salt of ocean and the lemon from his slice of cake…

It was when I was tucking our little one in to bed that night when the moon was just beginning to cast a slither of light into his room making his soft curls seem more white than blonde however it was making the brown roots stand out a tiny bit and making him seem a little less tan from all the time he played tag with his friends on the beach or in the playground.

“Mum I got a question.” He said looking at me wide eyed the sea green that both me and Finnick shared twinkling in the moonlight making me smile

“Yes lovely what is it?” I said starting to pull the soft covers of his duvets up to his shoulders,

“Well I was wondering if this year we could have another tradition…One where we surprise Dad.” He said his voice picking up speed like wind in a storm which was going to tear a hole through a sail,

“Well what would you like to do?”

I said hoping that it would be something doable unlike that time he wanted to keep a crab as a pet.

“Well Daddy really loved the display at the bakery today and I thought we maybe you and I could bake a gingerbread together because I'm 99 percent sure because we both made it he’d like it more than the baker’s gingerbread house and he really likes sweets he’ll eat it plus then I have to traditions one where I surprise you and one where i surprise Dad!” And then he leaned in closer to my face and whispered “But it's gotta be super secret like you cannot tell Dad we gotta surprise him like me and him do for you on Christmas to” he then proceeded to make a shushing noise with a finger to his lips looking me dead in the eyes that I was fighting back the urge to laugh in his face.

“I love that idea however I might not be able to find a recipe for that so you might have to live with cake but let's do it!” I said joining in the whispered tone whilst being excited at the same time as usually at Christmas these two surprise me with an extra present or a handmade item it felt nice to have the tables turn for once.

So I kissed him softly on the forehead and said goodnight and then went to bed next to my husband; and smoothly lied that Josh wanted an extra story before bed when he asked what took so long.

It took me a few days of planning as: A) I had to phone Peeta to give me a basic Gingerbread recipe which I didn't think he would give to me incase it was a secret but he didn’t have a qualm about me adding it to my collection

B) I had to figure out the best time as Finnick’s work hours had changed due to the holiday so I had to figure out when he was out of the house.

So we decided to do it a couple of days before Christmas whilst he was at work before he left I did start to cook the batter so all me and josh had to do was decorate so everything was finished in time. The smell of the gingerbread which was baking in the oven filled the house with the smell of cinnamon and the obvious smell of ginger spice, I was just in the kitchen keeping an eye making sure that in the final moments of baking it would remain golden brown and not be burned to a crisp; whilst Josh was sitting in the living room finishing a book I had got for my seventeenth birthday (the one with the purple haired Mermaid on the cover)

Finnick finished getting ready to go to work (which was basically fishing) when he came into the kitchen to see what I was cooking-  he was wearing a plain shirt with a slightly loose pair of trousers.

“That smells lovely Anne what are you making?” He asked planting a delicate kiss to my cheek

“A surprise.” I said cheerfully double checking the gingerbread was done and hopefully hiding it from view.

He chuckled (which is a sound I’d never get tired of hearing from) “Alright then I’m off to work now I should be back by four at the latest.” he hugged me from behind for a moment his skin felt soft.

I was watching him from the corner of my eye to make sure he wouldn’t try to look at anything in the kitchen again, he went to our son and tassled his hair and gave him a hug before going to the door and closing it softly behind him shouting an “See you later… Love you!” to us before it shut…

Once that was done I quickly went over to Josh to ask if he was ready and got the bread out of the oven and got the decorations prepared around the table so we could get on with it…

We just had the final piece of icing to one of the sugar cubes which was being used as a window and we were done me and josh looked at our creation proudly the house had white as a daisy icing outlining the windows and the door as well as a couple of bricks to make the house look a bit more like a cottage in a fairytale (which was Josh’s idea and it paid off) the windows were split into four with some haphazardly shaped lines and the sugarcubes acting as the four separate pieces of glass - Josh assured me he would make sure I would get a piece without a sugar cube as I didn’t like them as much as his Dad because they make my mouth salivate to the point where I struggle to talk.

On the roof we also added lots of sweets from broken up biscuits to jellybeans of assorted colours, we also used icing around the doors and windows to attach candy cane pieces to the borders we had created making the house seem even more colourful, especially in addition to the odd splotches of icing on the house which was caused by an icing fight caused by Josh in which icing ended up in my hair and on his nose but it made us laugh in the end.

We also had three gingerbread men (and one woman Josh had corrected me on that) standing outside one looked like his dad with blonde hair and green eyes with a plaid shirt made out of licorice and a pair of blue trousers and my one had the brown hair but unlike the one in the bakery where it stopped and curled at the shoulders, mine went over them ever so slightly- Josh had iced a jumper with a christmas type of pattern with what looked like a snowflake in middle but I couldn’t tell as I made the icing a little too runny at that point matched with a blue skirt (I would have preferred jeans but this wasn’t my design this was Josh’s).

I decided to decorate Josh’s gingerbread replica with blonde hair and green dots of icing for eyes with a green filled shirt and a pair of blue trousers and a big wide smile made with the last bit of red icing left.

We had half an hour till Finn returned home so we quickly cleaned up and put the gingerbread house on the windowsill to make it similar to the display at the bakery and silently smiled at our creation till he returned…

As soon as the door opened Josh ran to Finn with a big smile on his face and shouted “Daddy!” at the top of his lungs and Finnick picked him up and hugged him I soon went over to join them both, in which me and Josh were both kissed on the forehead.

“What did you guys do today?” He asked as the door closed softly

“Not much… But something did come for you today!” I said winking at josh who had jumped down and started to drag his father to the windowsill with me following suit

“Ta-dah! Look what we and Mummy made for you.” he said waving his arms in direction towards the baked good.

He went over to it to look at it closely and once he realised what it was he smiled and said “No way… This is way better than the one at the bakery like the windows are amazing and I like the way you done our eyes!” he said starting to jump up and down.

“I’m glad you like it Dad however it seems a bit odd with three people instead of four.” Josh said looking to both me and Finnick in which we gave each over a nod of understanding in which Finnick said “We’ll see but can we eat that gingerbread house!” He said starting to pick up his gingerbread replica and handing me a piece of his leg.

And Well the gingerbread was hard but had a soft kick to it… it really was delicious.

[love-stickywitchcollector]

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Man City were unlucky vs. Spurs but don’t blame VAR. Plus: Bayern getting a good deal with Coutinho?

Gab Marcotti is here to recap a busy, dramatic weekend in soccer. Welcome to Monday Musings.

Jump to: Man City vs. Spurs | Breaking down Coutinho to Bayern | Man United’s Alexis problem | Bale dazzles for Real | Arsenal got a gem in Ceballos | Balotelli returns home | Lampard and Chelsea so far | Dortmund look good | Joao Felix is a gem | PSG in chaos? | And finally…

Were Man City unlucky vs. Tottenham?

It may have been overshadowed by the late disallowed goal, but Manchester City’s performance against Tottenham was about as comprehensive a drubbing as you’ll see between two top six clubs. Realistically, the fact that City are already at last season’s levels — and that includes Kevin De Bruyne, who seems to have put injuries behind him and has returned to his 2017-18 self — will matter far more in the long run than the two points dropped, unlucky as they were to draw 2-2. (As you’ll recall, Man City were one of the unluckier teams last season despite winning a second straight league title.)

As for Tottenham, it’s hard not to be disappointed by what you saw. The midfield trio of Moussa Sissoko, Harry Winks and Tanguy Ndombele were a revolving door for much of the game, but that had plenty to do with the lack of help they got from the attacking midfielders and the fire-fighting they had to do on the flanks, where Danny Rose and Kyle Walker-Peters had rough days.

The absence of Dele Alli, Son Heung-Min and Jan Vertonghen (the latter started on the bench and stayed there) didn’t help, but it felt like a systemic failure. And that’s very unlike Pochettino.

OK, I got two paragraphs in without bringing up VAR, seem so let’s get this done.

Erik Lamela pulling down Rodri certainly looked like a penalty on television and, at the very least, it seems like something referee Michael Oliver might have wanted to review. There are two points to make here. The first is that we simply don’t know why it wasn’t subject to an on-field review. VAR may have alerted Oliver, who told them he didn’t want to review it because he had seen it and was happy with his on-pitch decision (unlikely). Or VAR may have decided not to alert him, particularly since it didn’t meet the Premier League’s stated goal of having a “high bar” for on-field reviews so they could be few and far between (quite possible).

There’s a quick and easy fix for that: better communication. I’ve likely mentioned this before but at a minimum, in real time, it makes sense to brief the media on why a decision was (or was not) taken.

Man City were frustrated by Saturday’s dramatic draw that could be one of the most lop-sided games in terms of performances all season.

The other point is that the second explanation — that it doesn’t meet “the high bar for VAR” standards — is, frankly, problematic. Whether you thought it was a penalty or not, something like that should be the referee’s call: set the bar any higher and you might as well not have on-field reviews.

– Ogden: Guardiola, Man City frustrated by VAR – Luck Index 2019: Man City unlucky – Football’s new laws: What to know about updated rules

As for the disallowed Gabriel Jesus goal, it’s not a VAR issue: it’s all about the changes to the Laws of the Game, much like Leander Dendoncker‘s disallowed goal last week for Wolves. As of June 1, the laws state that a handball, even if accidental, that leads to a goal invalidates the goal. The standard reaction was that — to paraphrase Charles Dickens — “the Law is an ass.” Undoubtedly it could be better written but the reason it was brought in was because of the belief in the principle that gaining an advantage from handling, even if accidental, was anathema to the game.

As I see it, this was a decision for a pre-VAR world. Without VAR, it makes sense to spare the referee the task of determining intent in what is often bound to be quick, pinball deflections. With VAR, common sense should rule. That said, let’s not forget that 99 percent of football matches are played without VAR, and IFAB’s job is to legislate for the game as a whole, not just big leagues who can afford VAR.

Maybe this is one situation where you can revisit the law, allowing those leagues with VAR to make their own decision on whether a handball that leads to a goal is accidental or not.

Ultimately, the Law itself makes sense in real time, but less so with the benefit of replay.

Breaking down Coutinho’s loan to Bayern Munich

Who got the better deal from Philippe Coutinho‘s loan move from Barcelona to Bayern Munich? Certainly Barca. Whether Bayern benefit from it too remains to be seen.

The Catalans get his wages of roughly $25 million off their books for a season and that already is an achievement. Coutinho was in the category of players who, due to the size of their contract, could only play for a very small number of clubs. They placed him at one of those who could afford him and, as a bonus, he’s in a shop window. Doing well at Bayern isn’t like doing well in China or the Gulf. People will notice. So even if Bayern don’t make the loan permanent, Barca will have options in terms of suitors next summer if he performs well in the Bundesliga this season.

From Bayern’s perspective, it’s a tougher call. The wage plus loan fee ($35m to cover both) is massive for a one-year rental. Sure, they got themselves an option to buy for $135m, but next summer Coutinho will be 28 and at that age, that’s still an arm and a leg for anyone not named Lionel or Cristiano.

It feels a little bit like the James Rodriguez deal all over again, minus Carlo Ancelotti, and there’s now a question over where to play him. Stick him in the No.10 hole — his best position — and you need to shift Thomas Mueller wide, which isn’t ideal). Play a 4-1-4-1 and you either have no defensive midfielder (because Thiago is sitting in front of the back four) or no Thiago (which isn’t good either). Play him wide and you lose one of your wingers.

Coutinho adds quality, sure, and he’s no doubt hungry and motivated. But then so was James, supposedly. The best-case scenario for Bayern is that Coutinho has a great season, fits Munich like a glove and they negotiate a deep discount on the $135m option. Right now, though, that feels like a long shot.

Would Man United be foolish to let Alexis leave?

Whether Alexis Sanchez‘s proposed loan move to Inter makes sense is pretty much down to the numbers.

If, as has been reported in Italy, Inter can get him for a minimal fee (less than $3m, plus an option to buy at around $15m) while also getting Manchester United to pay half his wages (which, lest we forget, are the highest in the Premier League, somewhere between $22m to $31m, depending who you believe) then it might make sense for the Milanese club as a short-term fix with a high upside. If they’re just indulging in wishful thinking, Inter may want to pump the brakes.

Less clear is how it makes sense from United’s perspective. This is one club where shaving a chunk off the wage bill really doesn’t make much difference. In addition, while Sanchez may not have covered himself in glory at Old Trafford over the past 18 months — he has scored three more league goals than the club’s executive vice-chairman, Ed Woodward — he’s still a live body who plays up front (and looked really sharp in the Copa America). I already thought United were short-handed after the sale of Romelu Lukaku they’ll be even thinner with the Chile international gone, when Tahith Chong and Mason Greenwood really do become the only options beyond Anthony Martial and Marcus Rashford.

Beyond that, you rather feel both these clubs are guilty of a lack of clear thinking. It wasn’t a mystery that Sanchez wasn’t working out at Old Trafford, that Antonio Conte wanted a striker and the two clubs have been talking all summer over Romelu Lukaku, so why was it left until now to attempt the deal? Shifting Sanchez sooner would also have benefited United, giving them time to sign another forward.

(And no, don’t drink the Greenwood-and-Chong-all-along Kool-Aid. If that really was the plan, they wouldn’t have pursued Mario Mandzukic.)

Zidane trusts Bale in Real’s opener… and it pays off

The curious thing about Real Madrid’s 3-1 opening day win at Celta Vigo was how familiar it was. Seven of Zinedine Zidane‘s starters were around for the 2015-16 Champions League final, his first. (It would have been eight, but for the fact that Dani Carvajal was injured.) That number included Gareth Bale and it didn’t need to: even with Eden Hazard absent due to injury, Zidane had plenty of choices, from Isco to James Rodriguez and from Luka Jovic to Lucas Vazquez).

What does it mean? Simply that both are professionals. Zidane would probably still prefer Bale (and his wages) were elsewhere, but as long as Bale is around, why not use him? And from Bale’s perspective, he does what he’s paid to do. I’m not sure there’s much more to read into it than that and, as Zidane himself said, with the market closed in England and closing elsewhere, it looks as if he’s sticking around.

As for events on the pitch, Real Madrid were efficient and let their experience guide them through, even after Luka Modric‘s rather harsh red early in the second half. Some awful finishing from Celta didn’t hurt either. This likely won’t be the Madrid side we’ll see later on in the season but for now, they reminded us that they’re a unit who know how to win and still have far more quality than all but a handful of sides. That will do.

Ceballos already stands out for Arsenal

It will be curious to see what Unai Emery’s long-term plan for Arsenal might be, once Nicolas Pepe finds his feet and the likes of Henrikh Mkhitaryan and Mesut Ozil are consistently available. For now, he’s getting results with Joe Willock and Reiss Nelson, which is further evidence that sometimes pay stub and pedigree matter less than system, enthusiasm and application.

Still, the star of the win over Burnley was Dani Ceballos, whose passing, awareness and personality more than moved the needle. Apart from four or five positions, it’s hard to nail down what Arsenal’s Best XI is when everyone is available. But what’s obvious already is that Ceballos needs to be a cast-iron starter, whatever the formation, whatever the mix.

“SuperMario” returns to Italy

Mario Balotelli is going back to Serie A after three productive seasons in Ligue 1. How will he fare?

No, Mario Balotelli won’t be joining “Gabigol” at Flamengo. Instead he’s going home, to his native Brescia, newly promoted to Serie A. Most have given up any attempt at psychoanalysis when it comes to “Super Mario” but on paper, you’d assume that being back in his home town will help him.

Balotelli says he hopes to convince Roberto Mancini to give him a place in the Euro 2020 squad and that wouldn’t have happened if he’d gone to Brazil. He turned 29 this month (boy, that snuck up on you, didn’t it?) and if he were a cat, he’d only have a couple of lives left. Three years in France yielded 51 goals in 88 appearances, which isn’t a bad return, but the bar, for him, is as high as it has ever been. And you can see why.

Lampard’s Chelsea still taking shape

Last season, the pundits and talking heads attacked Maurizio Sarri every which way for playing Jorginho in front of the back four and N’Golo Kante a little further forward, and to the side, of a midfield three. Surely that would all change with a sensible manager like Frank Lampard in charge?

Nope.

While Lampard has changed a few things, like making Jorginho less of a basketball style “point guard” through whom everything must run, he’s still the deep-lying playmaker. And Kante is still the pressing machine, free to wreak havoc with runs into the box when the opportunity presents itself.

Credit to Lampard for not throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Now, he just needs to get his team to play for a full 90 minutes. As good as Chelsea were in the first half-hour, they feel away badly after the break against Leicester and could easily have lost the match before settling for a 1-1 draw.

Dortmund show why they’re a title contender

Expectations are high in Dortmund after a big spending (by Bundesliga standards) summer that saw them add four legitimate starters in Mats Hummels, Nico Schulz, Thorgan Hazard and Julian Brandt. All but Brandt started (he came on at the end) in the 5-1 drubbing of Augsburg and, after they gave up the opener, it was about as one-sided as the score suggests.

Borussia Dortmund are deep and they have options in almost every area of the pitch. For the first time in a while, the Bundesliga is far from a foregone conclusion.

Joao Felix is a gem

Atletico Madrid’s season began with three points and a 1-0 win over Getafe, but Joao Felix overshadowed matters with this absurd run, reminiscent of Cristiano Ronaldo in his early 20s.

Conventional wisdom suggested the $135m fee paid for a guy with less than 40 professional games under his belt was excessive. But if he keeps this up, he’ll prove that conventional wisdom — to paraphrase Dickens a second time — is also an ass.

PSG’s season is off to a horrid start

As if the mood at Paris Saint-Germain wasn’t grim enough, they fell away to Rennes on Sunday night and the Neymar saga is no closer to a conclusion. And despite some late chances, they fully deserved their 3-1 defeat against a side that started 16-year-old Eduardo Camavinga (you may want to remember the name) in the middle of the park.

Neymar and Presnel Kimpembe aside, this wasn’t too far off full-strength PSG either. So while Thomas Tuchel has a point when he says that if Neymar leaves they need more signings, it’s also not much of an excuse for what happened Sunday night.

And finally…

Bas Dost is strongly rumoured to be on his way from Sporting Lisbon to Eintracht Frankfurt. Are you excited? I know I am.

This concludes the latest edition of #BasDostWatch.

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Oh wow. I just realized I haven’t posted in over a month! For some reason I thought I posted back around when I dropped Joey off at the trainer, but that must’ve just been my recollections of an Instagram post or two. So if you follow me on there, you’re likely pretty up to date with my goings on, but for posterity, I’ll give some more details about things here.

Let’s start with Joey since I know most people are here for the horsey stuff. Hawaii later? Sounds good.

So, I took Joey to the trainer a couple weeks later than initially planned. He was originally supposed to go at the tail end of April, but it ended up being put off until the first week of May since Trainer (J) had two shows back to back and wasn’t going to be on hand to watch him settle in. Knowing Joey, I wasn’t terribly worried that he wouldn’t settle well with whoever was watching the barn, but I can understand J’s apprehension, so I was totally fine with two more weeks of Joey cuddles.

So, on May 2nd, I took a half day off work and went to the barn and found Joey laid flat out in the hay unconscious, and knowing him, likely snoring. (I wasn’t close enough to hear, but if you remember the video of his gelding, you know snoring is in his repertoire.)

Afternoon naps are the best.

Oh hi, mom.

Do I have to get up though?

I went on and did my evening barn chores so I wouldn’t have to do them that night when I got back without him, then hooked up to the trailer and got all the windows and vents opened for him while waiting for K to get there to ride along for moral support/trailer driving coaching. I’ve only pulled the trailer 4 times or so and never with one of my own horses on board, just S’s (thanks S for guinea pigging your horses?) 😂 The drive over was uneventful minus the fact that the last 10 miles of interstate driving included an absolute gully washing downpour. I joked that Joey’s entire face would be drenched when we got there.

A couple days before this, I got the grand idea to practice loading with Joey because I couldn’t remember if he’d been on my trailer. I knew he’d been on K’s stock type that has all the open sides and room, but thought my small, dark, two horse slant might prove more scary. What I didn’t consider was that I wouldn’t be able to get Joey to back OFF of the trailer. Being his typical fearless self, he followed me onto my dark little trailer with little hesitation and he stood quietly beside me as if we were just standing in the field chilling. Zero percent nervous, not even terribly curious about things really. Just in a trailer. No big deal. Cool. Except he was NOT feeling backing off. At first he was like, sure mom, backing, I know this game. Then he realized he’d have to let his back feet drop off into the oblivion and he very calmly told me no. For 30 minutes or so. No escalation, no further nerves about being on the trailer, just resignation to the fact that we now live in the horse trailer.

As I mentioned, my two horse slant is small. If I hadn’t have the rear tack expanded I might have had a better chance at convincing him to back off, and it wouldn’t have been so tight to let him turn around in the trailer, but I finally gave up, looped the lead rope around his neck and got off the trailer to let him figure out how to handle the situation. Questionable logic possibly, but I think he’s proven capable of rational thought, so I figured why not let him figure it out. So he glanced over his shoulder at me, contorted himself into a pretzel and turned around. He then looked at me quietly and waited for me to grab the lead rope and encourage him to step down.

Or rocket launch off. Naturally.

So when we pulled in at J’s, I’d already decided just to let him pretzel and turn again and ask J to put that on the list of things that Joey needs to learn if he thinks he isn’t ready to ride and needs something else ground work wise to work on in the meantime. J said that the first couple of weeks he was there would be focused on ground work and that he would teach him how to back. I replied that he knows how to back, but the off of a trailer part was the crucial bit of the sentence and he just reiterated that he’d get a lot of groundwork first. Sounds good to me.

So, the interesting thing about working with a new trainer is that they have no idea of the owner or horse’s abilities at drop off. Not that I’m a seasoned pro or that Joey is the epitome of a cultured two year old, but honestly between my half ass effort and Joey’s general trainability, we really haven’t done half bad. But, since J didn’t know either of us from Adam, I think it’s safe to say that he probably proceeded with caution since he knows so little about us. So sure, by all means, teach my baby how to back. 😉

A couple days before he left-hand grazing the driveway with Cheddar.

After the weekend, I messaged J to check in and asked how Joey was doing, to which I got a “doing good and eating fine” message back. I’ve only known Joey not to eat once and that was when he had the infection/ran the super high fever after his castration, so yeah, I’d hope he’s eating. I had already determined that J was a man of few words, so I didn’t take it personally and went to Hawaii eager to return and see how groundwork was going on the 17th. On the 10th, eight days after I dropped Joey off, I received a short video clip that showed Joey trotting around the indoor with J aboard. He was low headed and quiet on a loose rein and looked more balanced than I’ve seen a lot of horses after 30 days, much less in this short of an amount of time.

I’d be lying if I said that seeing my kiddo going so well didn’t hit me right in the feels. I was a tiny bit sad that I’m missing a lot of his training, but I also know that that is just part of having a horse in full time training, even though I’m far from used to this scenario. Most of my emotion was sheer pride. I’ve always been the horsey friend with the least training skills, so to see my baby moving ahead of schedule after spending 99% of his formative time with me and me alone was validating. I give 90% of the credit for his trainability to damn good genetics, but that other 10% was me…doing something right? I spent the rest of Friday in Hawaii on a high. There’s nothing like being on a dream vacation and getting SO excited about what you have waiting on you at home.

So, after a week in Hawaii, I arrived back in Virginia and made plans to go see Joey first thing the next morning. I walked in the barn to see him tied and he watched me very closely. J was on another horse in the outdoor so I scratched on Joey for a few minutes (and teared up a tinyyyy bit to be honest…) before going out to say hi to J. Joey seemed 100% at home and like I’d just walked out of the barn five minutes before, not two weeks ago.

After finishing up with the other horse, J tacked Joey up casually like you would a broke trail horse and lunged him a few circles at all gaits in each direction before bridling him and mounting. Honestly I felt like I was watching a smaller version of Paige because he stood quietly while J mounted and just had the same general demeanor that I’m used to with Paige. He walked him around and flexed his neck a couple of times before reaching back and fooling with the saddle bags on the back of the saddle, making noise with the velcro on them numerous times while Joey just walked along unbothered by it all.

  I had told J that Joey was laid back when I first met him then again when I dropped him off and had also said that he has a lot more whoa than go. J countered that several do until stalled and put on the alfalfa, then they get a little hot until they settle in. So I was pleased to hear that being stalled and on alfalfa hasn’t changed his disposition at all. J stated that if he keeps the same attitude as he has currently that Joey is the type of horse that he likes to train and that he’d much rather have one that quits unless you make him work vs. one that runs hot and has to be ridden down to get to a point of being trainable. I’m 100% not the type of rider who wants/likes a hot horse, so I agreed that I’d prefer Joey stay lazy as well since that’s what I’m used to with his mother. Willing to work if you ask, but otherwise willing to chill. I bred for that brain first, conformation and movement second, and color third.

This is one of the reasons I’m happy to have Joey in full training somewhere. A few friends have quipped that Joey is so easy I could’ve started him myself, which is debatable. I can see their point in that Joey is so easy, but by sending him to a professional I keep his willingness to quit from becoming a insistence to quit. CoughcoughRobin. I know where my strengths lie and training riding horses who don’t have holes in their training is far from one of them.

Anyway, after watching Joey walk and trot around the indoor, J kissed and Joey immediately bopped up into a little rolling canter so quietly that it surprised me. I didn’t even know if he was loping him yet at all so to see him effortlessly step into the lope made me grin. The balance and body control that Joey has already after two weeks in training is something I keep being surprised by. He’s always been this derpy little baby in my head, so to see him capable of something athletic looking for his stage of training made me happy. J quipped that he was going to start riding him in spurs the next week (which is now I guess) so that he can show Joey that he has faster gears than he’s currently volunteering. He said that everything up to this point has been about forward movement with steering and brakes, but I can see why he wants to use the spurs because even maintaining what I call Joey’s “lah-te-dah” trot and rolling canter is taking some pretty dramatic pony kicks. Naturally this doesn’t surprise me at all after teaching him how to go on the longe line as the gaits he’s given me have always defaulted to what is easiest. So I guess this week Joey is learning about how to adjust his speed and stride length now that J feels like he’s ready to accept spurs.

After demonstrating Joey both ways at all three gaits, J dropped the reins and grinned and said, “not half bad for two weeks.” I heartily agreed. I’d told J previously that Joey’s well being, mentally and physically, ranked over rushing him into things, so it was reassuring to see how easily things seem to be going and how comfortably Joey is adapting to working life. J again mentioned that he likes that Joey isn’t reactive or hot because that allows him to gradually increase the length of his workouts with gaining fitness in mind while still being able to teach him something with each ride. While I agree with the old adage that wet saddle pads make broke horses, it’s nice to see a trainer realize that it isn’t necessary to work one into the ground past their point of physical ability. Joey left his workout looking alert and engaged without looking warm or overworked.

Immediately after being ridden. 

When I initially Talked to J about Joey I told him that I was hoping to eventually show in the ranch events at APHA shows and that my long term big goal was to ride him and look the part at the APHA World Show. When I told J that in January, he gave me a little spiel about how much training goes into a horse showing at that level and what qualities a horse has to have to be competitive in the ranch classes. This information wasn’t new to me, but once again, J didn’t know me or my horse from Adam, so I think he was taking my goals with a grain of salt. I haven’t brought anything competitive up again since that conversation, opting instead to let Joey demonstrate whatever skills he has to J over the course of time and let J make his own opinions about Joey’s possible future. I realized my goals might not be terribly far fetched when after mounting Joey and starting to walk circles, J looked at me and asked when and where the APHA World Show is held. I told him and he went on to ask me several questions about Paige and Tanner and trying to get a better idea of Joey’s breeding, so I think the wheels are definitely turning now that Joey has demonstrated that he’s more than a pretty colored gelding.

What do you mean I have to be more than pretty?

J has a show this coming weekend, so I’ll be going another two weeks without seeing the kiddo. Not that I can’t go down there on the week nights, but at this point I’m not the person that needs to be riding him, so I can make better use of my time by getting stuff done at the house and farm on week night evenings instead of driving over and watching Joey. It’s fun to see the progress in two week intervals honestly. Based on what J had said, I set my expectations low for the first two weeks and was more than pleasantly surprised to see Joey at the point that he’s at. Until then I’ll just keep watching the videos from Friday on a loop…makes sense, right? 😉

  Baby Riding Horse Oh wow. I just realized I haven't posted in over a month! For some reason I thought I posted back around when I dropped Joey off at the trainer, but that must've just been my recollections of an Instagram post or two.