#I’ll say it again. real world politics simulator

[zeb-z]

everytime thrawn does something successful and everyone is like congrats to the mitth family for the honor! and thurfian is like ok but what if instead of that he had blown up Csilla wouldn’t that be fucked up or what

[bluerosesburnblue]

I don't suppose you could explain the ending for khux for me?? i've watched it and i've been following the translated storyline for it and this ending just. does not make a ton of sense to me. i can usually figure out kh endings no problem but this time i'm just lost.

Isn't that just the state of the writing for it, where even people familiar with the series are having trouble understanding it. And, of course, the game dies as it lived: screwing over Global so we can't even compare/contrast with an official English version yet to see if it's more clear

Anyway, sure, I'll try to break it down scene by scene (Note: these aren't the actual scene titles, I just needed a way to delineate them so I made titles up)

Scene 1: The Master and Luxu

The update begins with a continuation of the past flashbacks expanding on the Case of Luxu and the Master of Masters' instructions to him. He explains that he knew that Darkness could only truly be defeated in the future, and so he made sure that Keyblade wielders would exist to fight it by recruiting many Keyblade wielders in Daybreak Town (as per the start of KHx) and then using the Dandelions to stall Darkness's takeover and give them time to make sure that the Keyblade legacy would live on. As Luxu turns to leave, though, the Master stops him with one more bit of information that he feels Luxu needs to know

He explains that back when he was younger, the being known as Darkness tried to gain the advantage in their battle by becoming incorporeal and attacking people's hearts instead of their bodies. There were 13 of these original Darkness beings, and because they lack bodies they aim to win by quantity and so created the Heartless as lesser, but more physical versions of themselves. The original 13 still haven't given up their desire to regain a physical form, however, and so they target those with strong hearts to take their bodies for themselves

The Master of Masters, knowing this and knowing that something without a physical body can't be destroyed, came up with a plan. He took in six children, his apprentices, and raised them to be a prison for Darkness. To foster light so strongly within them that Darkness couldn't possibly taint it, and then seal the strongest 7 of the 13 Darknesses within himself and his students, trapping the Darknesses inside their impenetrable hearts of light. Then, he instigated the Keyblade War. This is only my interpretation of the line, but it sounds to me like the purpose was to get the Foretellers killed in the War and the Darkness sealed inside of them along with them. How this relates to them coming back in KH3 is unclear

When Luxu asks if the War and the idea of a traitor were necessary, the Master goes on to say that the purpose of making the Foretellers believe there was a traitor was to instill negative emotions like fear and doubt in them. Darkness feeds on those emotions, and so by making sure that his students would produce them and yet not have their light tainted, he would attract Darkness into their hearts by giving it something to eat, only for it to realize that it was trapped in light that couldn't be consumed. The infighting amongst the Foretellers was bait to lock Darkness in their hearts the entire time

After that, there's only six left and so the Master chose five individuals, the Union Leaders, to be the uncorruptable lights that would house the weaker Darknesses. The final one, he would simply trap in the Data Daybreak Town

At this, Luxu flies into a rage at his master, angrily shouting that he can't possibly accept a plan that sacrifices so many people, but the Master stands up and starts talking over him. He's made it clear that he doesn't see Darkness as human, and he's seen this inhuman thing take countless lives, including people he's cared about. He doesn't believe them to be heroes, and he doesn't care. The entire purpose is just to ensure that in the end, humanity is what survives the war. He knows it's a tragedy, but for one who believes that tragedy can't be fully avoided, this is a solution that will at least save some

Luxu accepts this answer and leaves, but behind his back the Master muses on what Luxu, the traitor, needs to do. Luxu was the traitor from the lost page the entire time, given a role to take him out of the infighting so that his identity as the traitor wouldn't be discovered (or at least, that's how it seems to me considering that he needed the Foretellers to fear and doubt to attract Darkness to them)

Scene 2: Fleeing Daybreak Town

We now cut to the real Daybreak Town in the present, where Lauriam, Elrena, Ventus, and Brain have just emerged from the Data Daybreak Town into the real-world version of the lifeboat room. Daybreak Town is breaking down around them, about to be fully consumed by the aftermath of the Keyblade War which had been temporarily staved off while the Data simulation was running

Brain is attempting to enact his plan to extract all of the Dandelions from Data Daybreak Town and bring them into the real world, but he's worried that there won't be enough time to actually do it before the simulation shuts down and the real Daybreak Town is destroyed. The only thing he has time to do is get their three remaining friends (Ephemer, Skuld, and Player) out to the real world, and the only way that he can think to do this is to send Lauriam, Elrena, and Ven away to the future and to safety and then send the remaining lifeboats back into the datascape so that there's enough for the three trapped in there to use

Brain is willing to stay behind to man this operation, but he wants to ensure that at least one of the true Union Leaders (Lauriam) manages to live on in case things go wrong and save as many of them as he can, so those going to the future must be sent first. Lauriam, etching his mission to finally find Strelitzia (or even just her data) into his heart, departs with Elrena and Ven. Once they're gone, however, Brain notices someone enter the room and turns to find Luxu approaching him

Scene 3: Those Trapped in Data

We now cut to Player, Ephemer, and Skuld in the data version of the lifeboat room, contemplating how the others are doing. Just as they muse about how quiet the end of this world feels, Player turns to find that four of the remaining six Darknesses have entered the room (presumably the other two are the one sealed in Ven and the one that Luxu was fighting in the real world and who helped Maleficent, who seems to be gone by the time Brain and the others end up back in the real world)

The Darknesses, it seems, have come to politely ask the gang to open up a way out of the Data Daybreak Town for them, so that they can spread to other worlds. They don't want to fight, and obviously even if they did they'd win, so just open a gate for them to escape with already. They could always just take over Ephemer's friends and force him to watch as they rip them away until he complies

Ephemer mocks this and moves in to attack, but before he fully commits he whispers his plan to Player: he and Skuld will hold them off to buy time for Player to get into the last pod and run. To his shock, however, Player begins mimicking Darkness's speaking patterns and then goes to attack their friends. It seems that Darkness has done to Player what they did to Ven, taking them over and forcing them to act out. Player is now their bargaining chip; they'll only give Player back if Ephemer opens the gate. And since Darkness can only be defeated if it has a body, their options are to give in or destroy the possessed Player

This initiates the final boss fight against Ephemer and Skuld, Player's dearest friends who have been with them since before the war

And the duo prove no match for the Darkness-possessed Player, who taunts them about not just leaving when they had the chance. Ephemer begs his friend to stop as Player goes in to finish off Skuld, and in his desperation to protect one friend, he opens up the portal to Game Central Station and forces his fallen friend though. As it closes, Ephemer breaks down in tears, muttering apologies to the friend that he was unable to save

Scene 4: Luxu and Brain

We cut back to where we left off in Scene 2, with Luxu confronting Brain in the real lifeboat room. He introduces himself, and Brain is taken aback that one of the missing masters has finally returned. Luxu asks Brain if he's a Union Leader, and when Brain confirms that he is, Luxu then gestures to the missing pods and asks where the others are. Brain tells him that one escaped, and the other two are still trapped in the data. Luxu's confused; there should be five Union Leaders, but Brain only listed four. He asks what happened to the fifth, and Brain confirms that they were struck down

Luxu assumes that Brain is going to make his escape, but Brain denies this. They have a friend who he calls a Dandelion (even though Player did not consider themself one) who is trapped alongside the other two Union Leaders, and he intends to get all three out no matter what. Furthermore, Brain has no intention of using one of the real lifeboats. Rather, he has resigned himself to staying behind in the past and finding some way to survive the end of the world to eventually extract the rest of the Dandelions from the data as well, and wake them from their data sleep

Luxu, however, has some bad news. While normally that would be true, the Data Daybreak Town was designed to lock Darkness away. Once it's locked up, nothing will ever be able to get out of it again. If anything could get out, then Darkness would as well. It was meant to be a grave for an intangible being

Not only that, but Luxu expresses doubt that Brain has properly prepared for his friends who use the lifeboats to awaken in the future. What does Brain plan to use for mediums? Who are the memories going to come from? Brain doesn't have an answer, but he has to do this and he's willing to put his life on the line for it

This seems to earn Luxu's respect

Scene 5: The Two Who Remain

We now resume with Ephemer and Skuld in the data lifeboat room, having just sealed Player away. The two real pods that weren't used yet are digitized and sent to Ephemer and Skuld to use for their escape. Ephemer picks up the weakened Skuld and places her in a lifeboat, then looks forlornly over to the one on the other side of the room. The one meant for Player. Then he reclines back into his own pod and the two leave the Data Daybreak Town

Scene 6: "You're So Gullible"

We now join Player inside of the familiar tunnel that joined the Data Daybreak Town to Game Central Station

The four Darknesses swarm around Player, commending them for goading Ephemer into being desperate enough to open up a gateway for them, implying that Player was at least partially in control by the end of the fight. In a bizarre way, they seem to be trying to help Player as they warn them they must cast off their body if they don't want to be destroyed by the simulation shutting down

Player laughs

They ask if Darkness is always this easy to trick. After all, it can't go anywhere without a Keyblade and without a body it can't use one, either, which is why it needed one of them to open a path for it. Player turns, and locks the end of the pathway that leads to Game Central Station. And since Ephemer sealed the Data Daybreak Town end when he cast Player and the Darknesses through the portal, all five of them are now trapped in this space between worlds on the cusp of shutting down along with Data Daybreak Town. This was Player's plan all along, opening their heart up just enough for the four Darknesses to try and use them as a host and then provoking their friends into sealing them away and taking Darkness with them

Darkness flies into an anger-fueled frenzy but is unable to do anything to escape. Player collapses, and Chirithy appears. Petting them much like they did during the Keyblade War, Player apologizes for forcing Chirithy to be sealed away with them since their hearts are bound. Chirithy shakes their head, signaling that they don't hold it against Player, and the two go in for a final hug and are bathed in light

Scene 7: The Destruction of Daybreak Town

Back in the real lifeboat room again, Ephemer and Skuld emerge and are met with blaring sirens signaling that the world is at its end. The other are gone, including Brain and Luxu, and the two have no idea what happened to them (or that Luxu was involved). They simply hope that they made it out safely, and decide to check outside just to see what's going on

They're met with the destruction of Daybreak Town. Smoke is everywhere, the sky is red, and pieces of debris are being drawn into a swirling dark orb in the sky not unlike the destruction of Destiny Islands from KH1. Ephemer decides that they need to leave, now, and Skuld muses about how it takes a lot of time and effort to build something, but none at all to destroy. The two retreat back into the lifeboat room to make their exit

Scene 8: The Master's Plans

We now cut to our final continuation of the flashback of Master of Masters' talk with Darkness from before he disappeared

Darkness muses that it truly does not understand the Master of Masters at all. The Master asks if it wants to, and Darkness replies with a very clinical, "Yes, understanding your enemy is important." The Master muses if it means all of the Darknesses or just the one who is speaking, and Darkness states that it's speaking for all of them

The Master muses for a bit about how small worlds are easy to control. If this small world simply expands gradually over time, then eventually there will become parts of it that the light can't reach, but Darkness will have free reign over anywhere it pleases (much like real light can only shine so far, and anywhere it doesn't reach is filled with shadow). This skews everything in Darkness's favor when vying for control and is precisely what would happen if the world of the Age of Fairtytales continued to expand

Darkness simply notes that of course it will always be around, that's what "friends" do, but the Master says that sometimes he'd like to be left alone. And so, to get away from Darkness, he plans to flee to a world that Darkness does not know about. One where neither Darkness nor Light can be controlled. Darkness asks what this world is, and the Master says that humanity, even if their lives end, want to believe in a world that exists for them in the future. For him, this is a world of fiction and imagination. This implies that he plans to flee into the world of Quadratum, the fictional world that we learned about in Melody of Memory that exists on the other side of the "real world"

Darkness is clearly lost as it asks if he's talking about the Data World. The Master simply says that even if it started out as fiction, you can make it real. But he won't explain any more. After all, the point is that this is a world that Darkness doesn't know about. It cannot reach it, even if it tried

Of note is that he mimics what the illusory Xehanort remarks about Sora in Melody of Memory by calling this a place where neither your "eyes nor voice" can reach, much like Sora's voice could not reach Kairi in The Final World from Quadratum. His final description of it is as "a world of [symbol]." It's unclear if this is an actual term that is unpronounceable and unspeakable in-universe, or if this is simply done to censor the word for the players

Scene 9: Goodbye

We once again return to the real lifeboat room amidst the destruction of Daybreak Town. As she gets into her pod, Skuld starts sobbing and thanks Ephemer through her tears for staying with her until the end. Ephemer tells her that she can't give up until it's all over. As he goes into his pod, he flashes back to all of the time that he spent with Player, and mutters their name through his tears as their pods close and the room caves in around them

(AND THIS IS WHERE IT SHOULD'VE ENDED BECAUSE IT WAS ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD UP TO THIS POINT BUT HERE WE GO)

Scene 10: Where Do Dream Eaters Come From?

Player and Chirithy are floating in a white void alongside all of the other Dandelions that were trapped in the Data Daybreak Town and their Chirithies. Some of them are familiar faces, like the "My friends aren't my power" kid and the squad of four kids that Player had befriended and their ex-teammate. As Player awakens, they watch these sleeping Dandelions revert to the forms of hearts that are then eaten by those Chirithies, transforming them into the Spirits seen in Dream Drop Distance

Player's Chirithy explains that because Chirithies are bonded to their Keyblade wielder's heart, they take on a state to match their wielder. If the wielder dies, so do they. And if the wielder falls into a deep sleep, they take on a stronger form to protect it

Contrary to what the fandom is saying, NO, Spirits aren't dead Keykids. Rather, the Chirithies are simply taking their sleeping hearts into their bodies and transforming into a stronger form to keep them safe. This is only my assumption, but I would assume that this is possible since they don't technically have bodies anyway, having been digitized. Therefore, their body-less hearts would otherwise have been sent directly to sleep with no protection, hence the Chirithies moving in

Now, this still doesn't make sense regarding Dream Drop Distance by overriding the lore that all Dream Eaters are simply the form that Darkness takes in Sleeping Worlds, which made sense from a metaphorical perspective of "you sleep at night which is dark, so dreams are darkness and both good and bad dreams are made of the same stuff." And also you can totally craft Spirits and have them explode if they take too much damage, all with zero indication that a keykid heart was involved in the creation process or released on destruction, but whatever, let's just move on

Player asks if this is what will happen to them and their Chirithy, and Chirithy responds that they have a choice. If Player doesn't want to go to sleep, then their heart will be broken down and reconstructed as an entirely new heart to live a new life

Smash cut to an unfamiliar town where a woman in purple with black hair and silver eyes hand over what is obviously a baby Xehanort to a hunched figure in a blue cloak, holding a cane. She sobs. Cut again to the figure in blue holding baby Xehanort standing on Destiny Islands' play island. Cut once more and Xehanort is now his teenage self from Dark Road on the beach of the play island. The figure in blue is standing on the ledge behind him, and as Xehanort stands up to walk to the shoreline, the figure collapses onto the ground. Xehanort does not notice this. Two more cuts, this time to the day that Xehanort found himself in Scala ad Caelum and a chess match with Eraqus

We return to Player, who closes their eyes peacefully and decided to move on to another life. Chirithy is confused, but goes in for a final hug as both of them dissolve into light, Player's heart flying off into the white void

The implication of all of this being that not only did Player reincarnate as Xehanort, introducing reincarnation into a series that it has never been a part of and overcomplicating the lore even worse, but that Xehanort isn't even from Destiny Islands in the first place, invalidating nearly all of his character motivation from the series

This is so bad that it deserves its own post though, so we're moving on

Credits Roll: Scenes From the Game Play Over It

Post Credits: Aftermath

We find our scene in a vast expanse of water, littered with debris. A lone lifeboat floats amongst the rubble. Some houses from Daybreak Town can be seen partially submerged, setting this after its destruction. The lifeboat comes to a stop and opens up, revealing Ephemer's silhouette. He looks around

It's unclear why Ephemer seems to have landed so far back in the past compared to the others, though some people have noted that he also doesn't appear to have lost his body, so it could be that his pod simply didn't activate (note how we only saw it close, not disappear into light like Lauriam and crew's) and that Ephemer didn't time travel at all but simply rode out the destruction of Daybreak Town inside the lifeboat

We see a rendition of the scene from KH2 where Diablo the raven brings Maleficent's cloak to the three fairies and she revives, showing that this scene was, indeed, her coming back from her time travel adventure

Lauriam wakes up in the field of flowers from Dwarf Woodlands, and looks confused and startled as a white butterfly flits about him. The flowers clearly a nod to his element among the Organization

Elrena is shown still unconscious along the cliffs that lead to Maleficent's castle in Enchanted Dominion. Much like Lauriam, her element is represented in the thunderstorm that rages around her

Ventus is shown unconscious in the Keyblade Graveyard, and a silhouette approaches him. Many believe this to be Xehanort finding him, though as of now the figure's identity is unconfirmed

We cut to a scene of Luxu dragging the black box behind him in the Keyblade Graveyard, much like a certain scene from the end of Back Cover. However, this time the scene continues and he removes his hood to reveal Brain's face. The implication here is that after Scene 4 above, Luxu took Brain's body as the first of many that he would steal to prolong his own life. This is why neither of them are seen when Ephemer and Skuld emerge from the datascape; Luxu has already taken Brain's body for his own and made his escape to survive the destruction of the world with the black box

We get a title card, but are treated to one final scene. Brain wakes up (sans hat) in the same town that we saw baby Xehanort being given away in. A hooded figure in strange garb arrives, holding Brain's hat, and asks if he is Brain. At Brain's confirmation, the figure returns the hat and introduces themself as Sigurd (a Norse mythology name much like the other Scala ad Caelum characters so far). They seem to have been waiting for Brain and report that they found him into an earpiece of sorts

Brain is understandably confused, and Sigurd explains that they know of the Brain who escaped Daybreak Town's destruction and that he would appear in this spot on this day. Brain panics, realizing that he doesn't know where any of his seven other friends are and if they made it to safety. Sigurd tells Brain that he's the only one who made it to this spot. Brain, utterly crushed that all of his friends have seemingly perished, listlessly follows Sigurd as Sigurd leads him to their headquarters

On the way there, however, something catches Brain's eye. He sprints to the fountain and looks up at something that's not in the frame in shock. Sigurd explains that this is a statue of this town, Scala ad Caelum’s founder (so Xehanort's actually from Scala...) and the first ever Keyblade Master, Master Ephemer. The camera pans up to show the statue of Ephemer as we know him holding the Master Keeper Keyblade that he got from Brain

Brain is overcome with emotions, and through his tears states that he knows exactly who that is. That's his best friend, and he's so proud of him for rebuilding

This is just my speculation, but what I believe is going on in the final scene with Brain is that when Luxu took his body, he ejected Brain's heart from it. A lifeboat wasn't used up, so Luxu must have either used time travel on his own to send Brain's heart to the future or simply left Brain's heart stranded and waiting in the ruins of Daybreak Town. This would let Luxu have his body, but Brain's stranded heart could make a new one with the proper resources in the future like the other hearts sent via the pods. That's what I think the focus on the hat is about. Luxu is shown without it after he takes Brain's body, and Sigurd has it. So my assumption would be that the hat was the medium used to bring Brain's body back like Maleficent's cloak was for her. It’s possible that Luxu set this up, but I can’t confirm. As for the memories, I couldn't say

I would also speculate that this scene takes place a decent amount of time before Dark Road, since Eraqus has been implied to be a descendant of Brain due to their similar looks. If Brain is in Scala ad Caelum in the past, then he could easily be the grandfather that Eraqus mentioned

My final bit of speculation is that the reason Sigurd and crew know who Brain is is because Ephemer, the founder of Scala ad Caelum and the inheritor of the Book of Prophecies, likely saw when Brain would emerge and set up a system to take care of him, knowing that he wouldn't survive to see him again

Apologies for the length, the ending was 40 minutes long. But, hopefully, I've made it clear which scenes are connected to which and what is actually happening. If it wasn't actually clear, there's two flashback sequences involving the Master of Masters that take place before KHx, the scenes in the data and real lifeboat rooms are running concurrently with each other (Brain and Luxu are having their conversation at the same time as Player is being possessed by the Darknesses, etc.) and everything else is roughly chronological with the exception of the scenes where Maleficent, Lauriam, Elrena, and Ven are revived after time traveling. Lauriam, Elrena, and Ven's scenes all must take place sometime before or around BBS (Lauriam and Elrena for their ages to match up, Ven because he's in BBS). Maleficent's is at the beginning of KH2

[fellowstrangetownappreciator]

Curious and autistic-coded

Hello there! April draws to an end and with that I think it’s high time to hurry up and write this. What does April have to do with anything, you ask? April is the Autism Acceptance Month. So what better month to do this?

Unfortunately I didn’t make it. I failed. It’s already 1. 5. when I’m posting this. But at least I tried to deliver on time.

In this mini essay I’ll present my case about why I think the Curious brothers from TS2 Strangetown display autistic-coded traits and my personal takes on it.

It’s basically your average headcanon post but with a funny top hat!

0: Preface: What do I mean by “autistic-coded”?

When a character is coded as something, it means that they have traits that are associated with the demographics in question to make the consumer knowingly or not link the character with the demographic, although the character's "label” is never explicitly disclosed.

In the nutshell, it means that there are canonical reasons to read the characters as autistic, although you won't find the word "autism" anywhere in the game nor in the developer's commentary.

In this particular case I do believe that the developer may not even be aware of the code, as there is no evidence to suggest otherwise. If there is, I’m not aware of it and I would be happy to learn.

So, let’s start!

1: “The white male who is very good at science”

Unfortunately autistic representation in pop-culture has a long history of being rather straightforward in which traits the characters often have. This stems from the belief that autism is “a boy’s disorder” (that’s why some autism charities to this day use blue in their symbols). Among popular examples of autistic-coded characters are Big Bang Theory’s Sheldon Cooper and Death Note’s L and Near. I’m sure you can think of more but you’ll find that most of them are men and either explicitly white or racially ambiguous white-passing. They also tend to be gifted in tech, logic or other science-y activities.

There’s nothing wrong with that! Nothing wrong with being an autistic with those “stereotypical” characteristics and there is nothing wrong with people being represented. What is wrong is the monotony and afab people/people of color being underrepresented which leads (among other factors) to harder access to diagnosis and resources for those people in real life. But! That’s a topic for a different day. (and not for a simbrl, mind you)

Back to the Curiouses! I just wanted to say that autism in media is traditionally associated with characters whose gender presentation, race and interests align with theirs. Those characteristic thus make a very convenient template for autistic-coding.

2: Inconsistent performance, huge gaps between strengths and weaknesses

Pascal, Vidcund and Lazlo are very skilled Sims by default, extraordinarily even for their age. Pascal has a skill maxed while his younger brothers both near maxing theirs.

But as you can see in Pascal’s default skill panel, apart from Creativity, all his other skills are extremely low, 0 points for Mechanical, Body and Charisma, 1 point for Cooking and Logic and his second best skill, Cleaning, has only 3 points. The same situation can be observed in Vidcund’s and Lazlo’s, except their strong suits are Logic and Cooking respectively.

Huge discrepancies within performance in different cognitive areas is a common trait found in those on the autism spectrum. We’re often talking extremes here and the scale of the difference is the defining factor. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, it’s just in neurodivergent people those tend to be unusually noticeable.

I think that skills, simplified as they are, are the closest The Sims has to possibly simulate that because they track the character’s performance and expertise in different areas and allow comparison. In real life, of course, this comparison is not nearly as possible and exact, nor desired, but for all our analysis-loving enthusiasm, here we’re still talking fictional characters.

3: Struggle with social cues

It is widely known that one of autistic traits are difficulties with processing social situations, picking social cues and successfully replicating socially desired behavioral patterns.

But these three are Sims, are they not? They cannot possibly display this trait, since they’re programmed the same way as others.

Yes and no.

It is true that there is no specific in-game feature that would allow Sims to behave with explicit neurodivergency in mind* but with the right combination of traits they can simulate behavior that really hits close to home for neurodivergent players.

*at least not in TS2, TS3 has traits that simulate some possible neurodivergencies but their names tend to be rather... ableist unfortunate and they’re not relevant to this post since they’re not autism related, and even if they were, we’re focusing on TS2 exclusively

Let’s take look at Lazlo here. He is, indeed, a playful soul. He likes to goof around, tell jokes, make others laugh. And since he’s very close to his brother Vidcund, close enough even to Tell Dirty Joke (an interaction that needs quite a high relationship to unlock), he autonomously does just that.

And oh boy, does Vidcund disapprove.

From my personal experience playing them, their relationship usually takes quite a hit from every cheeky joke Lazlo throws Vid’s way. They usually autonomously repair it very quick but it happens often.

But that’s a standard behavior. Vidcund’s very serious, he doesn’t take well to jokes.

No. I mean technically yes, Vid is definitely a grumpy old plant dad but, at least in my game, he tends to accept Lazlo’s jokes. All kinds of them, actually, except for the dirty ones. And Pascal, who technically has even lower Playful points (0 in comparison to Vidcund’s 4), doesn’t seem to mind Lazlo’s poor attempts at grown-up humor.

But! What is it that makes Lazlo try still? What drives him to attempt to make Vidcund laugh with a dirty joke over and over again? (and fail?)

I my interpretation, Lazlo doesn’t do that on purpose, he is just really poor at evaluating “dirtiness” of a given joke and frequently misinterprets Vidcund’s cues. The animation of a dirty joke being rejected even supports that as Vid doesn’t signal his discomfort with any exaggerated easy-to-read facial expression until Lazlo gets to his punchline.

No only that but as I mentioned, the invisible lines between spicy and too vulgar are often hard to thread. I can recall many times I thought I was saying a witty quip on an “adult” topic and was met with awkward silence or someone shushing me because “that’s not how you speak in public”. I can well imagine myself in Lazlo’s shoes.

A situation of social cues being misinterpreted or ignored can be observed also in Vidcund. Programming-wise, those are just his low Niceness and extreme Shyness showing but combined they again paint a picture of a very neurodivergent-looking behavioral pattern.

He often behaves like the concept of politeness or social rules doesn’t exist because the combination of the aforementioned traits makes him come off very blunt (lecturing and shoving telescope-peepers with no warning whatsoever) and distant (having a high chance of rejecting simple small-talk socials).

(That’s Jasmine Rai casting the “Summon Vidcund” spell.)

Yes, I am fully aware that it makes a stronger case for him being an a**hole than autistic but... there’s no reason he can’t be both. Not all autistic people are sweet cinnamon buns, all personalities you can think of can be neurodiverse and, for some their neurodiversity can even amplify their inconsiderate ways, as I believe it is the case with our dear grouch Vidcund.

4. Their bios

“No matter what happens, Pascal believes there is a logical explanation for everything. In his free time, he practices home psychoanalysis and collects conspiracy theories.”

(that’s how I imagine practicing psychoanalysis looks like, sorry Freud)

“Serious and exact, Vidcund strives to fit the universe into a nice tidy package. He has an unnatural fondness for African violets.”

(let’s collectively pretend those are African violets)

“Not as studious as his older brothers, Lazlo got his degree in Phrenology. He likes to call phone psychics and spends hours trying to bend forks with his mind.”

*error: screenshot of Lazlo bending forks not found*

(but here he is hanging out with Erin Beaker, the closest thing to “calling phone psychics” you can actually do in-game)

Both Pascal’s and Vidcund’s bios point to a pattern-focused worldview with a strong emphasis on rationality as the center-point that anchors the way they understand the world around them and build their principles on. This “pattern-ization” of thinking is a common autistic trait, with rationality being a popular theme because emotions tend to be difficult to access and asses for many of us.

Lazlo’s biography is an outlier. But it still has something significant in common with those of his brothers: All three of their bios allude to a potential special interest of sorts.

Special interests as an autism-related term are very specific, in-depth and long-term hobbies or areas of expertise that make an autistic person happy and they tend to go to seemingly exhausting lengths, often at the cost of other areas of knowledge and most likely the person’s ability to talk about anything else for a long enough time. (a loving hyperbole, no disrespect meant) Mine are my characters and cats. An even more intense but a short(er)-term passion is called a hyperfixation.

Them potentially having a special interest is yet another possible autistic-coded feature.

5. Wait. Why does it matter?

Right. What does it matter if a Sim (A SIM) (or two or three) is autistic? What do I hope to achieve, pushing my autistic Curiouses agenda down your throats?

I got to write a long rant-piece about some of my favorite TS characters and I feel like I can finally die satisfied.

Apart from that and me sharing my happiness of finding some good pixels I can relate to, it is a matter of representation.

Remember by the very beginning I wrote how most of the representation our community gets in media tends to be just a one specific type of character?

And how the Curious brothers seem to fit the stereotype to a point?

There is something I omitted, something I saved for the last on purpose.

The role. The role in their story, the role in the society the piece of media portrays.

We often see neurodiverse, autistic or autistic-coded character as children, students, villains, lone savants, victims in distress, comedic relief sidekicks, either very vulnerable and needing protection, or detached and having their role defined only by their academic prowess or their special interest/profession.

What we rarely get to see them as, are... parents.

That’s what many of us autistics are or plan to be someday in the future. The dogma around autism has started to dwindle relatively recently and there are little to no examples of autistic adults being the care-givers for once in the media around us.

The Curious brothers are just that. They are chaotic, they are eccentric, they can be a little too much... but they are dutiful and loving fathers/uncles to their little aliens they raise.

They make it work. Even if they face difficulties, even if they don’t exactly fit the standard.

“Sometimes, a family truly can be three brothers raising alien babies, and it’s beautiful.”

It encourages us to define family by love rather than traditional structures and it shows us that portrait of a functional neurodiverse family we need to see.

And goodness, is it a powerful sight.

[folderolsfollies]

sangyao arranged marriage fic (arranged by Nie Huaisang)

summary: Before Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli’s marriage and after Wei Wuxian’s flight to the burial mounds, Jin Guangyao is rapidly gaining power, which a strong marriage alliance would cement. Jin Guangyao likes taking care of people. Nie Huaisang wants to be a trophy husband. If you ignore literally everyone else in their lives, they’re a perfect couple. (Basically I saw this post and then this post and then I blacked out thinking about playing games with power dynamics.)

word count: 2.5k rating: t

Part 1

“San-ge! San-ge!” Nie Huaisang shouts, skidding through the halls of the Unclean Realm. He has to go farther than he thought before he sees the ridiculous black official’s hat bobbing along, one of the disciples had only informed him that Jin Guangyao was there when he was practically out of the door, since for some bizarre reason, Jin Guangyao has made the trek all the way over to Qinghe and didn’t even bother telling him.

When he reaches the other man, he flings his arms around his neck.

“Second Young M-ah, Nie Huaisang...”, says Jin Guangyao warningly, but his eyes are bright and laughing, and he doesn’t step away until Nie Huaisang releases him. His eyes are darting around the halls, but the halls are deserted. Nie Huaisang had made sure to intercept him in a quiet spot.

“Why don’t you just call me A-Sang,” Nie Huaisang says mischievously, “After all, we’re brothers now!”

Jin Guangyao gaze dims and he looks down. “I wouldn’t dare take the liberty, not in your brother’s home,” he murmurs, chin tucked in, eyes firmly planted on the floor. And now that won’t do one bit.

Nie Huaisang points at him with his fan, playfully. “Oh, Da-ge, he just shouts. If he gives you any trouble, just come to me! I’ll protect you,” he says, and grins, remembering the way that Meng Yao would scold him for missing practice and then say, well Young Master, I’ll protect you this time, but don’t do it again!, the both of them knowing that he would never listen unless it suited him.

Jin Guangyao is looking up again and grinning now, and he says, “And how does Nie Huaisang propose to protect me? With his saber?” He’s openly laughing at Nie Huaisang, and it fills Huaisang with a helpless, giddy fondness. Little Meng Yao, who flinches like a kicked dog at every low-level disciple, always with that polite strained smile, gets so vicious when he’s around Nie Huaisang. He’s like a bird with a broken wing. Nie Huaisang wants to tape him up and let him fly.

But the trick with trapping a wild animal is that you can’t let them know that you see them, or it gives the game away. “I was thinking I’d cry until he forgave us, actually” he says, and does a massively fake pout for emphasis. “Now that I’m your little brother, you’ll have to get wise to all my tricks.”

Jin Guangyao smiles, a quick little glimmer like a fish gleaming brightly from deep within murky water. Jin Guangyao has a whole repertoire of smiles, smiles of appeasement and anger and reproach, but this to gain this one is a particular treasure, and Nie Huaisang will say a staggering amount of nonsense if he can see it again. “Not much of a trick, if you announce that it’s one when you’re doing it.”

Nie Huaisang looks at him, and pitches his voice as serious as Lan Qiren 2,000 rules deep into a lecture at the Cloud Recesses, “Ah, you see, my devoted pupil, the real trick is to lull your target into a false sense of security. Then they’ll never see your real schemes coming.” He taps his finger on the side of his nose, like his friend Wei Wuxian constantly does, and hopes that it reads the same on his delicate features as it does on Wei Wuxian’s handsome ones.

It must work well enough, because Jin Guangyao’s quick-fish smile is back, and his posture is relaxed enough for Nie Huaisang to drag him through the halls with only cursory protests about how he really must be going back to Lanling, he has important work to do, his father would never-

“Ugh, your father,” Nie Huaisang says, carelessly, and feels Jin Guangyao stiffen under his arms.

Before Jin Guangyao can say anything to ruin the pleasantness of the moment, Nie Huaisang says quickly, “Ugh, sorry, I’m stupid! You know I wasn’t old enough to really know my father until his last days, and by then he was, well, unwell,” he finishes delicately. Nie Mingjue probably wouldn’t like him using his father’s last moments like this, as a bait, but Nie Huaisang kicks the brief stab of guilt merrily to the side. Frankly, this is the least that his father could do for him, he feels. The last three months of his life really were not ideal. (Hiding in his locked room, Mingjue’s hand briefly clasping his before he leaves the room to face him, the noise of someone screaming - well. All in the past now.)

As he suspected, Jin Guangyao has softened at the mention of Nie Huaisang’s Tragic Past, which is exactly as he had wanted it to go. “You’re not stupid, young master, family is sometimes difficult,” he says politely. There’s an opening there, if he wants to push it- with the way that Madam Jin and Jin Guangshan and Jin Guangyao all deliberately look past each other when they’re trapped in a room together, it’s truly stupid how the larger cultivator world can’t seem to see that there’s something fishy going on there - Nie Huaisang thinks, and then lets it go.

“Ah,” he says, and schools his features to look carefully brave for a second, “but let’s talk about happier things! I’ve done some remodelling on the aviary, you should come and see the new birds.” It’s also usually deserted and with clear sight-lines in all directions, which are two things which automatically relax Jin Guangyao.

The truly nice thing about Jin Guangyao is that Nie Huaisang can manhandle him all that he likes, because if Jin Guangyao truly has better things to do, he’ll be all Yes, Nie-er-gongzi, and, you’re very wise, Nie-er-gongzi, and melt away the moment Nie Huaisang isn’t looking, so Nie Huaisang feels no compunction regarding linking their arms together and tugging him towards the aviary.

Nie Huaisang makes the trip up and down the aviary’s spiral staircase all the time, but if he still takes the opportunity to lean against Meng Yao when they reach the top, to place one hand on his forearm, huffing a little to show how laborious of a trip it was, well, who’s hurt by it? It’s good to make a show of uselessness sometimes. Meng Yao certainly doesn’t say anything. He’s wearing golden silk robes with squares of bright, shining gold inlaid in the fabric, and the smooth portions are an interesting textural contrast to the rougher raw silk. Nie Huaisang pets it gently, to feel the texture shift under his palms, smooth, rough, rough, smooth. His mind feels pleasantly empty, narrowed down to just the sensation of cloth and the harsh rustle of fabric.

Meng Yao’s mouth is smiling, which doesn’t mean anything, but his eyes are wide and confused. His gaze is fixed on Nie Huaisang’s hands, where their two sleeves are twined together like grafted tree roots. A long moment passes before Meng Yao pulls away, and carefully smooths out the creases that Nie Huaisang has made in the fabric. He doesn’t say anything at all.

For no reason, Nie Huaisang feels his cheeks heating up, feels like blurting out an apology, and he rushes into the aviary ahead of him, speaking a little too fast and loud.

He darts among his birds, showing him which ones have laid new eggs and which ones he’s bought recently, and all the new plants that he’s brought in to simulate Gusu’s mountainous environment for his new black bulbul. Nie Huaisang doubts that Jin Guangyao spends more than a quarter shichen thinking about birds when he’s away from the Unclean Realm, and that probably on what to serve at a feast, but he still remembers exactly how it was the last time he came, and comments cleverly on the new arrangements. Sometimes Nie Huaisang misses Meng Yao so abruptly he can’t breathe, misses that serious, attentive face, the way that he took him not too seriously, but just seriously enough.

He has a fantasy where Meng Yao just told him about the guard that had treated him so badly that it had led to his banishment. Would have Huaisang killed the man for him? Well, probably not. But there are ways to disgrace a man, banish him without lifting a finger. Huaisang lies in bed at night and thinks about all those ways. Although it doesn’t matter anyway, clever Meng Yao has landed on his feet, hasn’t he?

When he thinks that, he’s filled with a sense of disquiet. Meng Yao was Nie first - well, Nie before Jin, at least, and he hopes that he hasn’t forgotten that.  “Come, braid my hair,” he says suddenly, plopping down on a chair, and Meng Yao doesn’t raise an eye at the sudden change of topic. “I can’t reach the back properly and nobody does it as well as you.” By nobody, he’s means Da-ge, and they both know it, but he won’t breach their fragile bubble of happiness by mentioning him if Meng Yao won’t.

“Nie Huaisang, you’re too hard on yourself,” Meng Yao says, smiling and patient, “you braid beautifully,” but he’s already reaching for the comb that Huaisang is handing to him, lining behind Nie Huaisang. The gesture is familiar, the room is familiar, the murmurations of the birds through the trees are familiar. Nie Huaisang’s skin tingles in anticipation. He can feel the phantom weight of fingertips scratching along his scalp, teasing into straightness every errant whorl of hair. The way that his unbound hair would hang along his waist, the looseness and lightness of it.

Meng Yao, standing behind him, drags a thumb around the circlet holding his hair up, in between the heavy loops of braids and the hair underneath. The sensation is too dull, fleeting. “Your hair looks fine, Huaisang,” Meng Yao says quietly, his cool breath tickling Huaisang’s ear.

Huaisang twists around quickly so they’re facing each other, and it’s ungraceful. Nie Huaisang remembers - in the past - when he’d turn to talk to Meng Yao, it was like Meng Yao had somehow created a Huaisang shaped bubble that he could just slot into. Something has changed, in the last two years, and the shape of space between them is all wrong. Jin Guangyao’s eyes are pointed in the wrong direction, and Nie Huaisang’s face is too close.

He shuffles backwards a little, angles his face a little, and it’s still not the same, but now he can breathe. His usual tricks won’t work. Jin Guangyao won’t believe that he’s bad at it, and he can no longer threaten him with Da-ge. Well, there’s another tactic he hasn’t tried.

“Please, Jin-er-gongzi?” He says, looking down. It feels strange to address him so formally, to someone who’s worn the Nie family braids and who wears Huaisang’s hairpiece in his hair, but it also feels right. Smart, elegant, deadly - Mingjue may have always seen him as a delicate servant boy, but Nie Huaisang always saw him as a prince.

Eyes still focused on the floor, he chances a quick glance upwards. Jin Guangyao’s smile has frozen. He doesn’t know what game they’re playing.

He straightens. “I’ll start calling you that more,” he says decisively, scheme forgotten, “It’ll be helpful to you. I’ll get Da-ge on board too.”

Meng Yao gapes at him for a moment before he smooths it over, glint of a fish in the river before its lost again to the murky depths, and Nie Huaisang hadn’t known he could make that expression at all. “Jin-er-gongzi,” he says experimentally, to see if he can draw it out again, but Jin Guangyao has his smiling face firmly in place again.

“It’ll take more than that to earn my place,” Jin Guangyao says, and underneath his pleasant tone it sounds bitter, like the taste of ink under Nie Huaisang’s tongue. It sounds real.

Nie Huaisang drops his closed fan, and when he catches it by the head, it’s open in his hand. He flutters it, and opens his mouth to see what would come out. “A marriage would help with that, surely,” he says.

“I will have faith in what the elders decide, when that time comes, which of course would be after my elder brother weds,” Jin Guangyao says demurely, which they both know is a crock of shit; the elders all defer to Jin Guangshan, and what that man knows about marriage or women - and it would have to be a woman, with Jin Guangshan - in general could fit on the back of a talisman paper, if the paper was very small and the handwriting very large.

“Hm, yes, Da-ge is never interested in marriage, which is great! Because then nobody ever bothers me about it,” Huaisang says instead, and doesn’t add that it’s likely because the prospect of him creating more little Nie Huaisang’s is most likely terrifying to all involved.

Nie Huaisang has always seen the workings of his mind like a vast and subtle river, which overflows its banks and deposits thoughts to him, not fully under his own control. So he’s not fully sure what motivates him to continue, “And you know Da-ge’s so protective, I’d need someone who would protect me, just like you used to do.”

“You have to learn to stand up for yourself, Nie Huaisang,” Meng Yao says, and his large eyes are softly distant, like he’s listening to a thought, “there won’t always be someone to rescue you.”

I miss you- Come home, Nie Huaisang thinks, and the thought is sharp enough to feel like pain. “I’ll try, Jin-gongzi,” he says instead politely, “although you know about my weak cultivation.”

Another nice thing about Meng Yao is, when Nie Huaisang complains about his weakness, Meng Yao never argues against him or says that he would magically get better if he tried a little harder, worked a little more, he points out Nie Huaisang’s skill at art and astrology and Taoist magic. His tone is indulgent, parental. “In that sort of conflict, it’s not always your cultivation skill that counts,” he says, low and warm, like he’s imparting a lesson.

“I know, I know” says Nie Huaisang, who does know, who has been watching Meng Yao stammer and apologize and look deeply horrified at small misdeeds since before he realized what that sort of coquettishness implied. Whenever Nie Huaisang tries to imitate it, it comes out a child’s whine. Not a princess in need of rescuing, but a small dog that can be indulged or kicked aside.

“I must be going,” Meng Yao says, finally. “I am needed back at Lanling.” There’s a tone of finality in his voice.

Nie Huaisang is filled with a sudden, ridiculous desire, but he’s found that the consequences of indulging them have never been terrible. Not for him. He leans forward into the space between the two of them.

When he thumbs off Jin Guangyao’s ridiculous hat, there’s a circlet of Nie braids coiled like a serpent on the top of his head.

Nie Huaisang smiles. “I’ll see you soon.” he says.

[samsexualdeancurious]

His Own Hands | Chapter Four

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Words: 1,218

Summary: Bucky is settling in well with the Avengers but he keeps having nightmares - flashes of repressed memories of a girl being tortured by his hands and then vanishing into a swirling black portal. He's not sure who she is until Fury introduces them to their newest potential team member, a girl Bucky recognizes on sight and Fury calls "Portal".

Warnings: Hurt!Reader, Lack of Communication, torture, trauma, PTSD

Written for Nanowrimo 2020

Betaed by Saxxxology and Amory

Cover art edited by me

---

The rest of the team is already in the larger training room, the one with crazy holograph tech installed to simulate potential threats. Everyone’s wearing their uniforms, with the exception of Y/N whose uniform hasn’t arrived, and Bucky spots the case for his arm sitting on a bench. He grimaces but pops the locks open and lifts it out of its foam bed. Tony steps in, tools in hand to make sure that everything gets connected right.

The process is quick, streamlined by practice, and it’s no time before Bucky feels the little zing - he’s never quite sure how to describe it but zing is pretty close - that means everything is online. He rolls his shoulder, flexes his fist, and watches as the plates shift before putting on his uniform jacket. When he looks up, his eyes meet Y/N’s. She’s watching intently, clearly interested in the process. He searches her eyes a second for something - anything - to indicate that she recognizes or remembers him, but she just smiles.

“That’s some pretty impressive tech,” she observes as the others begin to move away. “What’s the metal?”

“Vibranium,” Bucky answers, tearing his eyes away from her.

“From Wakanda?”

“We should get moving.”

He joins Nat at the edge of the room. She eyes him.

“I think that’s the most you’ve ever said to her.”

Bucky grits his teeth but doesn’t reply.

“Wanna tell me what’s up?”

“No.”

Nat rolls her eyes. Before she can say anything else, though, the room hums to life and the simulation begins.

Their first run actually goes fairly well, considering this is the first time anyone but Nat has ever worked with her. At first it’s just what Bucky was expecting - using portals to hop around the simulation and help wherever needed, occasionally taking Wanda with her because “Wanda’s had contact with an Infinity Stone but we don’t know how the rest of you will react”. React to what, Bucky has no clue, and there’s not much time to explain.

They’re in their second more difficult simulation when a whole new level of Y/N’s power is revealed. The team is getting their asses kicked and Bucky, along with Y/N, Nat, and Steve, have been cornered by their enemies - some kind of robot that’s frankly one of the creepiest things Bucky’s encountered, humanoid shaped with a flat metal face and glowing red eyes. The others are attempting to rescue them but not having much luck.

“Move,” Y/N says, shoving at Nat and Bucky where they’ve stepped in front of her.

Bucky glances back at her. “What-?”

That’s all he gets out before she shoves him out of the way. Her eyes glow purple and a huge portal opens behind her, bigger than any Bucky’s seen her make so far. Something comes out - something gigantic and dark, swinging a great horned head - and plows through the robots.

They scatter but the beast is fast, much faster than something that size has any right to be, and destroys a large amount in no time. The team is quick to dispatch the remaining few and then everyone turns to stare as the beast returns to the portal.

“What the hell is that?” Tony says, coming to land a few feet from Y/N.

The creature looms huge even through the portal, stooping low to peer through at them with glowing green eyes. Bucky studies the creature, taking in the great furry head that reminds him a bit of a bull’s. In fact, the creature probably most resembles, in Bucky’s opinion, a minotaur. A really big minotaur.

“This is Stuart,” Y/N explains, reaching through the portal to stroke the beast’s nose. “He and his kin are good friends. They’re more than happy to help if I ask them to.”

Stuart - what the hell kind of name is that for a minotaur? - snorts and moves away. As he goes, Bucky catches a glimpse of a world. A dark, shadowy place; he can’t make out many details but still definitely a real, physical place. A world he’s seen before, caught a glimpse of once upon a time.

“What the hell,” Clint breathes.

Y/N glances between the team and the still-open portal. “Oh,” she says with an embarrassed chuckle. “I guess we didn’t really explain the Dark Dimension, huh?”

--

The Dark Dimension, as Y/N calls it, turns out to be exactly what it sounds like - a parallel dimension of sorts, according to Dr. Strange. Apparently, he and Y/N have worked closely over the last year to help her further master and understand her abilities. Y/N explains to them that she travels through the dark dimension with her portals, using it as a stepping stone between locations. She can go anywhere she’s already been or seen pictures of.

Tony and Bruce are fascinated and immediately want to visit the Dark Dimension. Y/N is able to dissuade them, though, when she explains how dangerous it is. She has friends, yes, in the form of Stuart and a few others, but she’s never explored much beyond what she has to in order to travel through it or visit them. The Dark Dimension is full of unknowns.

The team wraps up their training session soon after and everyone begins heading for their respective bathrooms to shower - all except Y/N. Tony lingers long enough to help Bucky remove his arm and then he’s gone, too, leaving Bucky alone with her.

“Don’t like wearing it unless you have to, huh?” she asks, voice soft.

Bucky nods, sliding on the black sock-like cover he wears to protect the circuitry embedded in his shoulder and draping his uniform jacket over his arm. When he starts off toward his bedroom, Y/N follows.

“Wouldn’t it be easier to wear it all the time?”

“Probably.”

“Why don’t you?”

Because it reminds me of all the things I’ve done. The things I’ve done to you. “That’s not really your business.”

She shrinks back from his words. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. Curiosity killed the cat, I guess.”

Bucky immediately feels bad for snapping at her. “You’re fine. I’m just tired and I really need a shower.”

“Oh, of course!” she brightens up again. “I’ll let you go shower. See you at dinner?”

Bucky nods stiffly and picks up the pace, leaving Y/N behind. Why does she have to be so sweet? He knows she’s not asking questions because she’s nosy, she’s genuinely curious and wants to get to know him. He just keeps pushing her away and, honestly? It’s not fair to her. But what else can he do?

--

Despite his coldness, Y/N still makes valiant efforts to befriend him. She does her best to include him wherever she can, inviting him to things like the weekly movie nights she implements. She sits next to him at dinner every night and Bucky forces himself to at least be polite. He knows Steve and Nat are concerned about his behavior but he can’t explain himself to them. He can’t explain himself to anyone except possibly Fury and there’s no way Bucky’s going to Fury with his personal problems. Nope, not happening.

So Bucky endures, remaining polite but still keeping Y/N at a distance for as long as he can.

---

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—

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[alo-piss-trancy]

Ok hi, I didn't wanna say anything, but please don't write knifeplay/bloodplay for Yuri. I def don't wanna spoil anything, but it's learned on a certain route that Yuri has a s*lf h*rm problem (I'll leave it at that).

You honestly seem like you're not trying to be a jerk with this ask, so I'm going to do my best to answer this as politely as possible without compromising my personal beliefs on the matter. This is going to be long and a little serious, but please note I'm not attacking you or trying to start a debate. I'm just laying all my thoughts on this down at once so I make myself clear, because a short answer would leave a lot of nuance out.

I understand what you're trying to do here. For the record though, I also considered that a pretty massive spoiler and I did not appreciate that at all. Even if you all think you're 'helping', don't do that again. Y/uri was pretty much the only character I'd managed to avoid most spoilers on and you killed the surprise for me. This game is already so full of fluffy 'filler' in the beginning that I don't have a ton of big plot points to look forward to in each route.

Now, I realise this is a very delicate topic and incredibly triggering to some people, especially with those two things combined. I am 100% willing to tag it with just about any variation needed to ensure you or others affected can blacklist/block it and never have to see a word of it in the future. I'd also be happy to go back and tag that original text post I made if needed. I mean that. You all are welcome to ask me to tag things anytime, and so long as you're polite about it I'm perfectly willing to oblige to the best of my ability in future posts! If I occasionally forget, just toss me a light reminder and I'll jump into editing and add it in.

That said, I want to make it clear that I am very firmly against censorship. I'm willing to take all necessary precautions to ensure people can curate their experiences on this blog and AO3, but at the end of the day I can still post whatever fictional stuff I choose to. As can anyone else. Same goes for more formally published media.

Now, it's entirely possible I would have gotten to that part of the game and decided 'oh dang, I'm not so enthused about that fic idea anymore...'. My whims and ideas change frequently, and what you mentioned is a heavy topic with a lot to unpack and process. It's also entirely possible that future plot would only provide more fuel.

Fyi, when I originally mentioned the knifeplay I was actually thinking a lot more along the lines of her doing it to the protagonist, not the reverse. But for the record, if I did choose to write it with focus on Y/uri, I would still be well within my rights to.

This next part of my answer is going to address some heavy topics, this is your warning!!!

Sometimes people's kinks are a way to take a thing that is personally scary or upsetting to them and find a way to reverse it. To find pleasure or power or get used to the idea of the awful thing in a safe, controlled fashion. I'm not going to go into the full details on this because there's plenty of explanation and research elsewhere already written up, as well as an excellent book on the subject, and I'm not turning this blog into a discourse debate. But I needed to mention it for my point.

There are plenty of stories that could be explored with Y/uri in this context. Did she have this kink before the self harm events started and it was completely unrelated, or did she develop it afterwards? How did she discover it beforehand? If developed afterwards, did it start out as another way of harming mixed with pleasure in a self-destructive way, often done sloppily and without proper technique? Or was it strictly used as almost exposure therapy to deal with those urges and thoughts in a safer, more contained scenario, maybe even allowing the partner she trusted to wield the knife to prove their bond/reinforce that she can be loved without being hurt deeply, that she is worthy of affection and trust and loyalty. Maybe this finally helps give Y/uri a tool to embrace her 'weirdness' without harming herself and others. Or, what if she thinks it can be a useful tool and is sure she's ready, but partway through the scene she gets triggered or has flashbacks... how does she deal with it? How does her partner? Can it be overcome with effort, research, and taking things slowly, or does she realize this kink is actually completely off the table for her?

What if she has this kink and is excited to try it, but her partner isn't? How does she take that rejection? Or do her poor social skills mean she skipped negotiation to begin with and attempted it in the middle of a vanilla session? Would her partner freak out or even get mad, or try to swallow their fear and let her do it so they don't hurt/offend her, even at the cost of their own comfort?

This topic also opens a ton of potential plots for darkfic, but I'll refrain from discussing that out of respect for you and others.

So as you can see, there's much more to explore than 'Knife=Hot'. I believe those discussions and ideas are necessary and provide important fuel for thought when explored fictionally, especially since mainstream media doesn't cover a lot of them.

~~~

I feel I should take a second to clarify knifeplay for those who may be unaware. It doesn't always equate to actual cutting/drawing blood. That can be an aspect, but usually only by those far more experienced and, you know, actually into that. A lot of participants don't actually go that far. Mostly, it's either about the physical sensation of the knife touching you at all, or the adrenaline/controlled fear and intimate trust of a partner bringing an object like that so close/teasing you with it.

In fact, it's frequently advised in those circles (especially to newcomers) to use a dull butterknife instead, because it simulates the same feelings of metal on skin/can dig in a little without any real risk of cutting/drawing blood. Even if one chooses to use a different knife, it's still pretty common to dull the blade, or some people even substitute with a closed pair of scissors (combined with the partner blindfolded, you can't really tell it apart from the real thing).

These versions of knifeplay are well controlled and ultimately pretty harmless, so long as both parties know what they're doing and stay alert. And more experienced players with sharper knives are even more cautious/have studied extensively to know where/how deep to go without risking scarring/serious injury.

Remember the golden rules of kink: Safe. Sane. Consensual.

With those in place, it is not nearly the same as self harm. Just as controlled, consensual, well-negotiated BDSM with safewords, respected boundaries and a trusted partner is never in the same league as abuse.

~~~

Now that that's out of the way, back to my point:

There's no perfect representation or narrative for everyone, in any group (be that gender/sexuality/triggered by certain things, etc). Every human being is different, everyone interprets media differently, and everyone takes away different elements from stories.

What one person in a particular group may find cathartic, relateable, or painful but necessary food for thought, another may find completely repulsive, personally hurtful, offensive, something they can't stand to hear. And guess what? Both of those can be true at the same time. One side is not immediately right over the other.

There are queer characters or interpretations of them in fics that I vehemently despise, might even find hurtful or sickening and think 'how can anyone create this, it's insufferable! People in 'my group' aren't like that, it's a horrible representation. I can't relate to it at all!' But you know what? Other people can and do, may find comfort in those exact narratives and experiences, may heal their pain instead of inflicting more. And that's great. It's what they needed or wanted and if I don't like it, I click away and do my best to avoid it.

There are specific tropes and narrative themes I personally cannot get through without being triggered into anxiety attacks or dragged back to bad times and places in my life. Sometimes I see them tackled in ways that are hurtful or seem insensitive to me. But I recognise that for someone else, it's exactly what they needed to see to get through that or come to terms with it, or see a way they wish that thing could play out. I would never dream of telling those people they aren't allowed to enjoy it, OR telling the creator of that piece of media or a tv show 'Hey ummm please don't use this plot because it turns me into a human wreck for a week'. Because it's not remotely my place to do so. They can create whatever they want, they have no responsibility towards me or my well being. A few might be kind enough to include a warning at the beginning of that episode or in the description, but they are in no way required to. It's up to me to curate my experience and try to keep my guard up/research what might have those tropes, and in the rare occasions I get blindsided, yeah, it hurts like hell. I struggle, I might even backslide a bit. But I just have to try my best to deal with it and make a note to be more careful next time. Because you can't control the world around you, not even the online world, and you have absolutely no right to. The only right you have is to protect yourself without infringing on other people's boundaries/rights.

And there's also another important point. There doesn't have to be a big important point or explanation for why a creator creates something, or why consumers can enjoy that creation! If someone wants to create a plotline with all of my triggers used in the most 'insensitive', 'wrong', pointless ways possible, strictly for Entertainment or pure kink material instead of some deep dissection of the issues involved? They can go hog wild!!! They are 100% allowed to do so on this earth, and I can't (and wouldn't want to) do a thing to stop them.

One person can read a kink fic and it hits a very emotional theme for them/they think it explores a deep topic well. Another person can read that same fic and get nothing out of it except their rocks off. Both of those readers are completely equal and 'allowed' to enjoy that fic. Both reasons are completely valid reasons for why the creator was 'allowed' to post/create that fic in the first place. Nobody needs permission, nobody has to answer to anybody except themselves. Period. This extends to any topic, any type of fic.

Yes, even for things I find absolutely abhorrent and insensitive and don't understand/want to read ever. I may resent everything about its existence, but I will defend to death the creator's right to make it exist in the first place.

It only affects me if I let it affect me. If someone's making content I despise or am upset by and can't handle, I can choose to ignore or avoid them, blacklist those tags, I can block them and move on with my day. I can do anything within my own bubble, but the second I consider going into their bubble and saying they can't make that thing, I am in the wrong. Because I'm not respecting their space and rights.

If someone makes cookies with ingredients I'm highly allergic to, pastes the ingredient warnings all over the box where I read them, and I still eat one, would anyone cheer me on for blaming them when I have a reaction? Would anyone think it was remotely okay of me to start calling up every bakery in town and saying they weren't allowed to bake those cookies EVER, because some people somewhere might be allergic?

No. They'd tell me I was crossing the line, because I'm infringing on other people's boundaries and lives. I'm expecting everybody else to take responsibility for something that, while horrible and painful, was my fault for touching.

Now, if someone sets out unlabelled cookies not realizing I'm allergic to something in them, and I eat it and have a reaction, that sucks. It's an awful experience. But is it the baker's fault? As long as they didn't do it maliciously, not really. They can be advised politely to label it in the future, and I can do my best to remember to ask/be more cautious next time I come across something I'm unsure of, but they're still allowed to bake those cookies for themselves and others.

Now, if I deliberately baked cookies with an ingredient that people are very frequently allergic to (ex. peanuts) and set it out in a crowded buffet without a warning label, that's a jerk move. That's intentionally trying to cause harm to others. But simply baking that flavour of cookies still isn't a crime or harmful by itself.

~~~

I'll be honest, I'm running out of steam and I think I've said most of what I have to say, so I'll wrap it up. I want to reiterate that I'm not ripping into you with this long answer, anon! I understand why you sent me what you did and I'm trying not to come off as harsh. I'm happy to go back and tag things and will tag anything else similar in the future!!! But at the end of the day, regardless of whether I personally end up writing that fic or not, or even want to after I get to that plot, I don't agree with telling anyone they can't/shouldn't write it at all. I wanted to try and explain my viewpoint thoroughly, and I hope you can respect that, just as I'll respect and try to accommodate you and other followers. This is the only time I'll really get up on a soapbox like this, and I have no interest in debating these things on my blog further, but it is a topic I've been passionate about all my life so I'm afraid I'm not budging on it.

[grither55]

The Princess and the Peasant - (An Azula Epic) - Chapter 20 - Lessons in Self Defense

The princess pushed her now empty plate away with a content countenance while she wiped her lips with a cloth.

Once more Elle sat beside her.

The girl was glancing up at her with her usual sunny smile after having barely eaten half of her meal.

The two noblewomen sat at the table just having finished eating each of their own snack of choice.

“Is there anything else we have to do to prepare for our mission?” Ty Lee inquired curiously while she fiddled with her braided hair.

“No. I already have all of the preparations taken care of. But all the same Ty Lee. I am very glad you asked. I have another lesson on the schedule for this tiger monkey.” Azula commented with a sigh while her two friends listened in amusement.

“What are you going to teach me now Azula-sama? I very much enjoyed my currency lesson this morning!” Elle chirped just as she locked eyes with the smiling Ty Lee while Azula rolled her eyes ever so slightly.

“Yes well, you will be receiving a second lesson on that particular matter. But we’ll leave that for another day. For the remainder of today…we’ll focus on self-defense.” The princess announced with a twinge of sadism in her voice while she watched her young companion begin to gulp in terror.

And Mai and Ty Lee were now gazing at her with a shared fear for their adopted sister.

“S-self defense Azula?” The brown-haired woman asked in a frightened voice while she shivered over the familiar gleam in her leader’s eyes.

“Indeed. I will not allow it to be said that Princess Azula failed to teach her most loyal follower the basics of self-defense. Which is why we’re going to simulate bullying.” Azula explained just as she placed a hand on Elle’s small shoulder.

The announcement was a truly unsettling one to both noblewomen.

Strangely as it may be for once they knew that Azula had good intentions.

But even so.

Azula is Azula, and Azula is known for taking even the most minor of issues to the extreme.

“Simulate bullying Azula-sama?” Elle questioned in a trusting voice while she peered up at the nodding woman.

“That is correct. Now. Elle, Ty Lee. I command the both of you to stand. Disobey me and I will be certain that the two of you will spend the rest of your lives catering to my every whim.” The princess ordered in a supremely haughty voice while smirked when her acrobatic friend leaped to her feet in alarm.

“Please don’t do that to me Azula…as much as I love you, I do need a break from you every now and then.” Ty Lee stated with a sigh while she turned to peer down at the young girl’s adorably bewildered face.

“But Azula-sama. I’m already going to spend my entire life serving your every desire.” The blonde-haired girl spoke with a finger on her lip while her big sister’s sweatdropped upon hearing that.

“Oh of course. Well in your case I will give you all the gold that you’ll need to be set for life, I’ll buy you the finest estate and even elevate you to nobility. You’ll never have to serve me again.” Azula declared just as she stared down into the girl’s now distraught amber eyes.

“Ugh. Just take it shorty. You can still see us as much as you want.” Mai advised in a marginally softer voice than usual while she eyed Elle’s innocent face.

“Um…yeah it might be a good idea.” The brown-haired woman coughed only to fall silent when the princess glared at her through the corner of her eye.

“N-never serve you again?” Elle stuttered in a voice verging on despair while Azula smiled even wider than before.

“Never. Some other handmaid will be toiling after my every desire.” The princess replied with a smirk only to sigh when her companion grew overemotional.

“A-another handmaid? I thought it was my job as your girl to serve you.” The blonde-haired girl mumbled in a concerned voice while she twiddled her thumbs.

They all they that there was no point in telling Elle that girlfriend and servant weren’t usually the same thing.

And Mai and Ty Lee both knew well enough that Azula enjoyed the girl’s lovable eagerness to please her.

“Ugh. Quit your whimpering! I was just toying with you. I wouldn’t set you free even if you wanted me to. Now stand!” Azula barked with a snap of her fingers while stared in gratification when Elle speedily hopped to her feet.

“Wakarimashita Azula-sama!” Elle cheered in a jovial voice before scurrying over beside the grinning Ty Lee.

“So, how’s this bully simulation going to work?” The markswoman asked with a bored sigh while she turned to observe the two.

“It’s quite simple really. I am going to teach her how to respond if she is bullied when we aren’t around. In this particular scenario. Ty Lee is the bully.” The princess answered with a wave of her hand while the acrobat’s shoulder’s dropped in apparent discomfort.

“Azula! I’m not going to bully Elle! She’s my little sister.” Ty Lee protested with a shake of her head while Azula rolled her eyes once more.

“It’s not for real Ty Lee! Now play along or I’ll be the bully!” Azula snapped with her eyes narrowing in a glare only for the acrobat to stare down at their young companion in concern.

Both Mai and Ty Lee knew well enough that even if it was all just a game. That Azula would make for a far more terrifying bully.

“R-right. I’m the bully.” The brown-haired woman agreed with her hand still on the smaller girl’s shoulder.

Then the princess swiftly threw an object to her that she caught with ease.

She scrunched up her brows in a questioning manner when she promptly noticed that it was Elle’s backpack.

“I’m confused Azula-sama. What do we do now?” The blonde-haired girl pondered innocently while she gazed between her caretaker and her big sister beside her.

“Ty Lee just stole your backpack. What are you going to do to get it back?” The princess remarked in a silken voice while she met her little admirer’s gaze.

The three women observed their young companion in an amused manner when the small blonde held a finger to her chin as if she was deep in thought.

“Hm. I’ll ask her very nicely to please give it back! Oneesan? May I please have my backpack back?” Elle requested kindly while she turned to peer up at the grinning acrobat.

“Of course, you can have it back little sister!” Ty Lee exclaimed while she began to hand the bag over only to jump when a ball of blue flame exploded against the wall behind her.

“No! No, no! You will not give it back! You’re a bully Ty Lee! And you! Peace will not get you very far in this world! You need to toughen up if you want to survive!” Azula bellowed from her throne while she now glared at the two with frigid golden eyes.

Mai just leaned into the palm of her hand while she began to sigh in a disinterested manner.

At times like this it was really hard to deal with Azula’s insanity.

“Oh no that’s not true at all Azula-sama. Peace has been working out very well for me so far.” The blonde-haired girl insisted with a joyful smile while the acrobat still patted her shoulder.

“Really? How did your peace work out for you when two peasant girls were laughing while you rasped for air?” The princess demanded with a sneer while she scanned her fingernails in a regal manner.

“Quite well! A mighty princess and two noblewomen came to my aid. I’d say it’s working out marvelously.” Elle stated with a sure nod while Azula began to scowl back at her with annoyance in her cold stare.

All the while Ty Lee giggled in the background before falling silent under the monarch’s glare.

“She’s got you there Azula.” The markswoman commented with a slight smirk while her leader just glared at her through the corner of her eye.

“Just look at my situation Azula-sama. I went from living with an abusive brother to starving on the streets in a foreign land. And now I am living under the roof of an extravagant palace and I’m even best friends with the Crown Princess. I don’t make trouble. I just go with the flow. And here I have flowed. I’d say I’m doing pretty good!” The blonde-haired girl chirped with a beaming expression while all but the princess sweatdropped in amusement.

“Are you getting cocky with me tiger monkey?” Azula snorted with a puff of blue fire escaping her nostrils while her girl still smiled softly back at her.

“No, Your Highness. I am getting factual!” Elle piped with a radiant countenance while Azula still eyed her with a callous golden stare.

“Good! Because I suggest you remember that I can destroy you at any time of my choosing! You are a fool if you think that you are exempt from my wrath.” The princess spoke with her eyes narrowing into an absolutely imposing stare.

Both Mai and even Ty Lee rolled their eyes knowing full well that Azula was just spouting hot air.

“That’s just silly Azula-sama. There is no servant more loyal than me. Destroying me would be against your own interests.” The blonde-haired girl chirped while she puffed out her chest in a display of childish pride.

“I suppose it would be unpleasant to go back to having pits in my cherries. Oh, very well! For the time being you are once more spared from obliteration.” Azula announced in a spoiled voice while she waved her hand in an entitled manner.

“Thank you for sparing me master! I promise you that I will never let you down!” Elle cried out before performing a speedy curtsy while Azula began to smile in approval once more.

“See to it that you don’t. Now, back to the lesson at hand. How do you plan to retrieve your backpack from the merciless bully?” The princess queried while she observed the acrobat’s grinning face with a composed gaze.

“I know! I’ll politely ask if there is something that I did to offend her and what I can do to make it up to her. Oneesan? How can I remedy this situation?” The blonde-haired girl spoke cheerily before turning to peer up at the smiling woman.

“Well I don’t know little sister! Maybe a long snuggle in my bed would do the trick?” The brown-haired woman replied with a thoughtful hum while she glanced down at the adorable girl’s excited little face.

“I would really love to snuggle with you o-oneesan!” Elle stammered with a slight blush before she was smashed underneath the acrobat’s arm in a bear hug.

“Aww! You’re just so cute that I want to hug you all day long!” Ty Lee cooed while she held the blushing girl face first into her chest.

Mai just snorted in amusement while Azula angrily shook her head with a possessive gleam in her callous eyes.

“No. No. No! You cannot talk down bullies with a cuddle. Only violence and brutality will get your belongings back.” Azula snapped with a groan while she now glared at the two once more.

“But Azula-sama, Ty Lee is super tough. And I have a breathing condition. I really don’t think it would end well if I attacked her.” The blonde-haired girl explained from where she stood beneath the acrobat’s toned bicep.

Once more the two noblewomen sweatdropped when the girl pointed out that it was poor advice.

“I suppose that is a problem isn’t it. Ty Lee! You are too strong for this lesson. So, I am going to recreate you into a more fitting opponent for someone of Elle’s stature.” The princess announced in a tyrannical voice while her acrobatic friend just blinked in puzzlement.

“Uh…sure. If you say so Azula.” The brown-haired woman said while she still stood with her palm on the girl’s shoulder.

“Hm. Ty Lee is now a dirty, uncultured peasant. She doesn’t have a coin to her name, and she spends the bulk of her time begging the upper-class for a single copper. She is an out of shape drunk, most definitely unfit for the circus.” Azula declared with a haughty smile while Ty Lee’s face began to turn red in embarrassment.

“A-Azula! Why did you have to make me out to be a slob!” Ty Lee complained with a huff before folding her arms over her breasts.

“Of course, you are just as poor as she is. You have only one coin to your name. Likely you intend to spend it on a praline or something equally petty. But before you can get your praline Ty Lee knocks you over and steals your few meager belongings.” The princess continued to narrate with a smug smirk while she paid the acrobat’s glare little mind.

“So…what I am supposed to do to resolve it?” Elle pondered with a curious blink of her amber eyes.

“Try to push her down. Perhaps upon a slab of stone. Use the environment to your advantage.” Azula instructed with a nod while the others listened in amusement.

“B-but I am small…what if she’s bigger than me?” The blonde-haired girl queried while the acrobat placed her palm in her hair.

“You kick her in the genitals.” The princess replied while the two noblewomen nearly fell over in surprise.

“Hey! I don’t like where this is going Azula.” The brown-haired woman growled with a displeased shake of her head.

“But I thought that only worked on boys. Does that really work on girl’s Azula-sama?” Elle spoke with a curious tilt of her head while she gazed at the older female for further guidance.

“On the untrained female. Anyone foolish enough to try as such on me would regret it in their death throes.” Azula answered with a cruel smile while she folded her hands over her resting belly.

“What do we have to do to conclude this ‘lesson’ Azula?” Ty Lee sighed with her hand still resting in Elle’s soft blonde hair.

“Elle! I want you to push Ty Lee over and demand your belongings back.” The princess commanded in an icy voice while the young girl peered up at the acrobat with horrified eyes.

“B-but she’s my oneesan. I don’t want to hurt her.” The blonde-haired girl protested cutely while the acrobat ruffled her hair in response.

“Ugh. Just give her a small push. For show.” Azula grunted with yet another wave of her hand.

The princess and the markswoman observed in quiet amusement when Elle turned to stare up at the jovial acrobat with hesitant amber eyes.

The teenager began to chew on her lip once more while the acrobat just gazed down at her with a reassuring gaze.

“It’s okay little sister. I’m not going to be mad at you. Go on!” The brown-haired woman assured in a warm voice while she smiled down at the nervous girl.

Then after seemingly mustering up a tremendous amount of nerve the small girl closed her eyes just as she shakily pushed on the taller girl’s midsection.

One moment later Ty Lee still stood over Elle while she peered down at the girl still standing with her eyes closed in apparent fright.

“M-may I please have my backpack oneesan?” Elle stuttered in a mousy voice just when her pack was lowered before her.

“Yep! You clearly defeated me. I surrender!” Ty Lee called out with jovial voice while Elle opened her eyes just as she patted the girl’s head once more.

The sound of a palm hitting flesh resonated throughout the air while they turned to see Azula groaning beneath her right hand.

“I don’t know what was more pathetic Ty Lee! Your bullying skills or the tiger monkey’s laughable attempt at ‘pushing’.” The princess snarled with her arms folding beneath her breasts while she fixed the two with a cold glare.

“Sorry I let you down Azula. But she’s just too cute to bully.” The brown-haired woman responded with smile while she glanced down at her little sister’s blushing face.

“Just go back to your seat. Clearly, I need a more ruthless bully. Mai! Go stand by Elle!” Azula ordered in a spoiled voice while Mai gazed up from her finger nails with a heavy sigh.

And Ty Lee couldn’t help but flinch.

Mai certainly made for a more fearsome bully.

But still vastly preferable over Azula.

“Must I?” Mai complained in her usual apathetic voice while she turned to peer at Elle.

“Unless you want me to do it.” The princess sneered with a satisfied smirk when she watched the weapons expert visibly wince.

“No. I’ll do it.” The markswoman agreed dully before rising to her feet while she made her way over to the petite girl’s side.

“Don’t be too hard on her Mai.” Ty Lee advised in a sisterly voice while Mai gazed at them in a deadpan manner before stepping up beside Elle.

The acrobat stepped back while she watched the teenage girl glance up at her friend with even more nervousness than before.

“I-it seems like my situation just got hopeless. Clearly I should plead for mercy.” The blonde-haired girl mumbled just as she held a nervous finger to her lip while her big sister’s sweatdropped above her.

“She’s got a valid point Azula.” The brown-haired woman sighed while she turned to her merciless leader.

“I am pleased that you are keen enough to notice the disparity in your situation. Mai! I order you to bully Elle.” Azula demanded with a twinge of sadism in her voice while Mai shifted on her booted feet.

“Whatever. Just give me your backpack and let’s get this over with.” Mai remarked before swiftly snatching the girl’s bag from her open arms.

“Now I command you to attack Mai.” The princess spoke without delay while the blonde audibly gulped in fright.

“I…don’t know Azula-sama. I don’t stand a chance against Mai. So, isn’t it wiser to sue for peace?” Elle pondered with a frown while she gazed up at Mai’s aloof countenance.

Once more, the two older females were amused that the girl seemed to be catching onto the fact that Azula’s order was not in her best interests.

“Ordinarily yes. But today Mai is an overweight, ill-coordinated peasant with missing teeth and rags for wear.” Azula instructed with a raised finger while the other two women stared at her incredulously.

They were almost beginning to ponder if the princess had gone mad.

“What? The girl needs an opponent closer to her level.” The princess snapped with a roll of her eyes while her childhood friends just sighed in growing impatience.

“To her level Azula? That’s rather rude.” The brown-haired woman chided with a slight frown only for her friend to ignore her completely.

“Ha. Ha. I am now bullying you. Whatever are you going to do to stop me?” The markswoman commented dryly while she gazed down at the girl she now regarded as her baby sister.

And Ty Lee couldn’t help but manage a giggle while she witnessed Mai’s lazy attempt at bullying.

“I don’t know oneesan. What should I do?” The blonde-haired girl replied with another tilt of her head while the older female sighed once more.

“Now strike Mai down into a defeat so great that she will never rise from the ashes of her shame and humiliation!” Azula shouted just as torches flared to life behind her while a violent grin now graced her red lips.

An awkward silence reigned in the room while the two noblewomen stood staring at their leader in a comical manner.

“Just push me so we can be done with it.” Mai commented flatly while she stared down at Elle with her usual deadpan gaze.

Yet once more the small girl stood hesitant while she continued to gaze up at the weapons expert with conflicted amber eyes.

“There will come a time when you’ll discover that the only way forward is to fight!” The princess instructed in a rigid voice with her lips pursed into her usual scowl.

The teenager swallowed down her nervousness before springing forward rapidly just as she impacted with the older girl’s belly.

The blonde slipped forward while she glanced up at her big sister now stumbling backwards in a feigned display of defeat.

Before she purposefully fell upon her backside.

All the while glancing up at the girl with a twinge of surprise in her tawny gaze.

It was a soft shove, most definitely not enough to knock her down.

Yet even still…

It was a harder shove than the girl gave Ty Lee.

“Looks like I’ve been beaten. Here take it back. This is beginning to bore me anyhow.” The markswoman replied with a mild twinge of fondness to her voice while she held out the bag for her little sister to take it back.

“S-sumimasen oneesan.” Elle muttered in a fretful voice while she accepted the bag before extending her hand to her taken aback big sister.

“Don’t worry about shorty. It was just a light shove.” Mai reassured while she allowed Elle to help pull her to her feet.

“You both make for pitiful bullies. Stand aside! I’ll bully the girl myself.” Azula announced just as she stood up with her fists hanging at her sides.

The two noblewomen turned to gaze at her with unconcealed fright in their eyes before reluctantly obeying the order.

As they did so the Princes strode towards the now terrified handmaid before coming to a stop before the trembling girl.

“P-please go easy on her Azula.” The brown-haired woman pleaded in a mutually unnerved voice while the princess now glared down at the shivering girl.

“A-and now I feel as if an overwhelming doom has arisen over me.” The blonde-haired girl admitted with a gulp while she shrunk under her caretaker’s imposing stare.

The other two women just sweatdropped over how the girl had accurately gauged all three of them in order of how ruthless they were in combat.

Ty Lee the least so, if only because her heart was kind.

Mai more so than Ty Lee, but still less so than the princess.

And Azula…by far the most dangerous of all.

“As you should servant! I am now your bully! What are you going to do about it!” The princess barked before stooping over the intimidated girl with her eyes narrowing in a truly intimidating glare.

All the while the poor handmaid paled while Azula loomed over her with her breath lightly brushing against her forehead.

“W-what sort of question is that! I-I yield!” Elle cried out while Azula towered above her just as she ruthlessly swiped her backpack from her hands.

“You surrender do you! What if I told you to push me!?” Azula demanded in a glacial voice while she delighted in how her lovely girl quivered under her unyielding glare.

“I-I say I won’t do it. I…don’t want to damage our friendship by making you angry Azula-sama.” The blonde-haired girl stuttered with a nod while the princess continued to advance upon her.

“You can’t really blame the girl Azula. It would be suicide to do otherwise.” Mai stated dryly while she observed the girl with a sympathetic gaze.

“In this moment I am not your friend. None of us are. We don’t even know your name. We saw you walking in the street and decided that it would be fun to set your hair on fire. What are you going to do about it?” The princess hissed in a glacial voice while she stalked forward with her admirer backing away with every step that she took.

It went without saying that the two noblewomen were growing rather disturbed over how far the princess was taking this bullying ‘lesson’.

“A-Azula that’s enough! You’re scaring Elle.” Ty Lee protested with a concerned countenance when she gazed at her leader’s back.

“If surrender isn’t an option then I run away!” Elle exclaimed just when she felt her back hit the wall while Azula stood looming over her once more.

“You can’t run! If you run Mai and Ty Lee will intercept you. And now we are going to start brutalizing you. What will you do about it?” Azula questioned with a scowl while she glanced down at her admirer’s naïve little face.

“I-I…don’t know! I just don’t know Azula-sama.” The blonde-haired girl blurted out just as she chewed on her lip while she peered up into the princess’s entrancing golden eyes.

The acrobat began to rush forward out of fear that her friend was going too far only to pause when the princess took her by surprise.

With speed that Elle could not react to Azula swiftly but gently grasped ahold of her right hand.

All the while standing over the inexperienced girl with an almost concerned frown gracing her elegant lips.

“That is not an acceptable answer. So be it Elle. I will show you what to do.” The princess spoke just while she guided the smaller girl’s hand forward.

“Y-yes! Please show me princess!” Elle cried out with a returning smile while she stood unmoving when Azula moved her arm as if she were her puppet.

“A strike to the genitals will down most inexperienced attackers but when that fails. Provided your opponent is not wearing armor you do this.” Azula lectured with a frown before bringing the girl’s flat palm to her cheek.

Mai and Ty Lee now just stood in a flabbergasted silence to actually see the sadistic Princess Azula making a genuine effort to teach a young girl self-defense.

It was…just nothing short of astounding!

“I…don’t understand master. You want me to slap people?” The blonde-haired girl queried with an innocent blink of her eyes while the princess stared down into her inquisitive eyes.

“Not a slap! It is a strike with your flat palm to your attacker’s cheekbone. If done correctly. It is possible for even the weakest of individuals to break a portion of the jaw bone.” The princess explained with a slight smile while she peered down into her favored handmaid’s widening eyes.

“A palm strike princess?” Elle repeated in a voice of great reverence while Azula guided her flat palm forward once more.

“A palm strike.” Azula purred with her fist carefully grasping at Elle’s hand while the petite girl stared up at her in an appreciative manner.

“A palm strike…when my princess and my oneesans are not around.” The blonde-haired girl stated with an emotive smile while the princess stared down at her with stern golden eyes.

“That is correct Elle. Do you understand the basic concept behind the attack?” The princess inquired with her brows furrowing in a contemplative manner.

“I…think so.” Elle answered while Azula lowered her hand once more while they gazed down into each other’s eyes.

“Good. From this moment forward I will begin instructing you on self-defense for thirty minutes of every day. Is that understood?” Azula concluded with Elle’s hand in hers while she loomed over her dainty handmaid.

“Wakarimashita…Azula-sama!” The blonde-haired girl exclaimed with warm laughter lacing her voice while the princess’s crimson lips began to curl into a smirk once more.

“That’s my girl.” The princess commented with approval lacing her frigid voice while she allowed her dainty handmaid to clutch onto her palm.

“Ooh princess I am so honored to have a place beside you.” Elle gushed with a hand on her timid cheek while she shifted under Azula’s domineering stare.

“Aww! You know Azula you can be a real gentlewoman when you put your mind to it!” The brown-haired woman exclaimed just when the princess stiffened with a moody scowl now gracing her features.

“What are you doing just standing around holding my hand! This is a self-defense lesson! Not a cuddle session! Straighten yourself at once girl!” Azula roared with her thunderous voice causing Elle to leap up in a panic.

The two noblewomen shared a quiet sigh knowing that any kindness Azula showed the girl would be very brief.

“Y-yes master! If you say straighten! I straighten!” The blonde-haired girl called out before saluting the amused woman while she stood much like a soldier reporting for duty.

“There’s something ironic about the biggest bully I know teaching a handmaid self-defense.” Mai stated with her arms folded beneath her bosom while she glanced over the young girl with a softened tawny gaze.

“Yes, well I can’t let anything happen to this one. Otherwise, I will be forced to hire a new cherry picker. And I simply will not stand such an insufferable fate.” The princess snorted with her hands on her hips her two friends just stared at her in deadpan.

“Azula! Elle’s life amounts to much more than picking cherries!” Ty Lee protested with a shake of her head that her longtime friend chose to ignore.

“That’s not all I do oneesan! I also make Her Highness’s coffee! And I help cook her breakfast. And I wash her feet every day! And some mornings I give her a wake-up foot massage!” Elle cheered with a sunny nod while Azula just smirked down at her.

“Well…if serving Azula makes you happy little sister. Then I am happy for you too.” The brown-haired woman offered in a gentle voice while she smiled down at her young friend.

“Before we conclude this lesson. I have one final question for you. What would if I was your bully for real? What would you do if we met on the street and I thought that it would be amusing to torment you?” Azula pondered with a tilt of her head while she loomed over the girl’s now adorably thoughtful face.

Meanwhile her big sisters just stared incredulously at their leader’s back over her rather obvious query.

“That’s an easy one! I would just surrender!” The blonde-haired girl exclaimed before slamming her little fists together as she had just been hit with a brilliant idea.

“Oh? Just surrender? What if I was going to destroy you even if you surrender!” The princess growled before taking another step forward while the handmaid stood meekly in her shadow.

“I know Azula-sama! How about I answer you in role play? You can be the princess and I’ll be the peasant! It will be like a fun game!” Elle responded with far too much enthusiasm in her voice while she beamed up at the now sadistically smirking woman.

The other two members of Team Azula were staring at the girl with flinching expressions while they observed their leader’s delight in the naïve suggestion.

“Why would you ever suggest such a thing to someone as demented as Azula? You’re one weird kid.” The markswoman asked with bored sigh while the girl continued to smile even so.

“Quiet Mai. I for one think it’s a wonderful idea. Very well let’s play, the princess and the peasant.” Azula remarked with a palm beneath her chin while she turned to peer down at her small pet.

“That’s a great name for our game princess! I’ve always wanted to play games with you. I’m ready when you are.” The blonde-haired girl answered with her hands at her sides while she beamed even when the older female’s stare became as cold as ice.

“B-be gentle with her Azula. Don’t get too carried away with this…role play.” Ty Lee advised with a nervous cough while Azula now glare down at Elle as if she were any other peasant.

It was almost scary really.

In these days that they have all been getting to know Elle the princess never once graced the girl with such a merciless stare.

Azula’s glares were always marginally subdued and yet now the scene looked no different than when she had watched her friend terrorize handmaid after handmaid all her life.

If she didn’t know that it was all a game she would truly be worried for Elle’s safety.

“Uncultured peasant! Didn’t anyone every teach you to watch where you’re going!” The princess bellowed with her lips curling in a disgusted expression while the servant girl began to quiver under her stare.

“S-sumimasen Your Highness! Sumimasen! S-some girls were chasing me! I meant no personal offense!!” Elle cried out before bowing politely at the waist with a hand over her chest.

“Do I look like I care about your excuses peasant! Perhaps some time in the black cells will teach you some manners.” Azula sneered with a smug smile musing that this was indeed an amusing game.

“I humbly beg your forgiveness princess! Please! Allow me to make it up to you.” The blonde-haired girl stated with a compassionate smile while she gazed up into her master’s icy eyes.

“What makes you think that I want anything from you girl? I don’t care what you offer! It’s straight to the dungeons with you.” The princess scoffed before grasping ahold of the girl’s shirt while her companions eyed her oddly.

“B-but there’s so much that I can offer you princess! Perhaps I could make you a hot cup of coffee? I make a mean batch of pancakes! Or maybe a foot massage? If you give me a try, I promise you won’t regret it!” Elle offered with a joyful grin while Azula managed to quirk a curious brow.

And Ty Lee couldn’t help but release a soft giggle upon noticing that Azula seemed to be having a hard time behaving as if she hated Elle.

In all honesty this was a pretty accurate representation of just one of the many ways that their first meeting could have went down.

“Please. I have no shortage of handmaids!” Azula exclaimed with her handmaid’s bag in hand while her right began to drag the small girl alongside her.

“Oh, but I am not like the other girls. I really a-admire you princess. And if you give me a chance, I think I could be a handy personal servant.” The blonde-haired girl explained with a jubilant nod while her feet dragged along the flooring.

“Are you offering to surrender your free will to me peasant?” The princess queried in an inquisitive tone while she halted to fix her handmaid with a stern stare.

“Yep! I surrender completely!” Elle cheered in a lovable voice while Azula now staring gazing down at her with a thoughtful eye.

“You surrender huh? You aren’t going to make a run for it?” Azula spoke in a silken voice while she playfully restrained the girl by her wrist.

“Oh no! I am not the type to cause trouble with authority and I wouldn’t want to offend such a pretty princess.” The blonde-haired girl answered with a hum while she met her caretaker’s hardened gaze.

“So be it peasant. I will give you one chance to make it up to me. You had better not let me down.” The princess sighed with a wave of her hand while released her handmaid’s hand from her grip.

“I won’t let you down Azula-sama. I am your most loyal servant after all.” Elle spoke with her chest puffing out in a show of innocent pride while she peered upward to see Azula grinning in approval.

“Oh, very well. I will spare you from annihilation. In return for this mercy you shall spend the rest of your life proving your sincerity to me.” Azula concluded with a sage nod while she held a curled-up fist beneath her chin.

“As you command master. May I please have my backpack now?” The blonde-haired girl requested just as she bent over to curtsy her princess with a serene smile on her cheeks.

“Is that all you were worried about? Simple little tiger monkey.” The princess snorted before dropping the bag into her little admirer’s arms while the girl beamed up at her in gratitude.

“Arigatou gozaimasu Azula-sama.” Elle stated while she threw her backpack over her shoulders while she stared up at Azula with an expression of warmth in her amber eyes.

Mere seconds later Azula heard amused chortles emanating from behind her while she turned to glare at her two subordinates’.

All the while the two women continued to laugh in an entertained manner.

“You just got played Azula. And I have got to say it made my day.” Mai stated with a subtle smirk while Azula now scowled back at her in a questioning manner.

“What? How dare you imply that I was deceived!” Azula snapped before she turned to watch her pet scurry back to her seat.

“Peace worked three times in a row! That was a fun game princess!” The blonde-haired girl shouted while the woman stared after her with narrowing golden eyes.

“Get back over here girl and we’ll see how your peace works when I use my bending!” The princess snarled in a haughty voice while stood with her arms over her breasts.

“Didn’t you notice Azula? In each instance Elle disarmed all of us with a smile. Even you. We’ve been defeated and she got what she wanted every time.” Ty Lee announced with a giggle while her regal friend simmered in anger over the word ‘defeat’.

“Defeated? The Great Princess Azula has not been defeated by you! Perhaps I should bully you for real this time? So be it! I shall defeat you girl.” Azula barked just as she began to stalk forward with blue fire sparking to life all throughout the vast room.

The two noblewomen promptly ceased their chuckling in favor of shivering when the princess advanced on the girl with her palms now alight in blue fire.

“H-hey Azula! You’re taking this way too seriously!” The brown-haired woman called out yet once again her crazy friend paid her no mind.

“Silence Ty Lee. This is a direct challenge to my reign. And I will squash this rebellion underfoot. How dare you laugh at me! Just what do you find so comical peasant?” The princess demanded as she now towered over her handmaid’s chair while the small blonde now giggled up at her.

“Oh Azula-sama. You are so adorable when you are furious. Did you know that the more wrathful you are? The more beautiful you become?” Elle spoke with a flush grasping at her blouse while Azula glared down at her with a twinge of redness to her own cheeks.

“What! Adorable!” Azula hissed with lightning beginning to crackle on her fingertips yet to her aggravation her handmaid didn’t even flinch.

All the while she glared over her shoulder when she heard her friends snickering at her open back.

“T-that’s so master. You look angry. Do you need a hug?” The blonde-haired girl pondered while she chewed on her lip with the scowling princess making a point to loom over her to make her feel smaller.

But it didn’t bother her any!

She didn’t mind gazing up at her powerful princess.

“No! I don’t need a hug! I am the dominant one in this relationship. Don’t you dare forget that.” The princess growled in a voice of absolute dominance before stooping down to stare directly into her blushing girl’s amber eyes.

Both Mai and Ty Lee exchanged a stunned glance to hear Azula officially refer to it as a ‘relationship’.

That was all the proof in the world that Azula had truly grown to care for Elle more than they had realized!

“You’re so silly Azula-sama. I wouldn’t call you master if you weren’t my alpha.” Elle retorted innocently while she turned red when Azula leaned in eye to eye.

Anyone else in Elle’s position would be utterly terrified to have Azula invade their personal space in such a frightening manner.

But not her. She trusted her princess with all of her heart and soul.

“And yet you presume that you defeated me. Is that right girl?” Azula purred in an all-encompassing voice while Elle began to sink back into her seat more intimidated than before.

This pleased her greatly.

Fond of Elle she may be but her love interest must understand that her will is absolute.

“Azula? Please don’t generate lightning near Elle’s person.” Ty Lee spoke with sisterly worry in her voice as she gazed at Azula bending over the poor girl.

It was times like this that she was just astounded that this girl had the patience to put up with Azula’s insane behavior!

“Expecting me to be able to defeat you and my oneesans is just unreasonable. But with courtesy and a cordial demeanor, I got my backpack back by complying with your orders until you were satisfied. I don’t start trouble! I make it a point to be as likable as I can be. And it works wonders! Peace wins again.” The blonde-haired girl explained with a sweet smile while the princess stared back at her with annoyed golden eyes.

“The girl’s got the right idea. Elle wouldn’t be standing with us if she was any different. And you know that.” The markswoman said just as she sighed while her leader still stood with her lips pursed in a tight scowl.

“Really? How’s this for peace…” The princess trailed off with a smirk before tearing the girl’s treasured bag from her shoulders.

And just like that the teenager’s expression began to turn into a childish pout while she peered up at her in horror.

“I…don’t understand what you want from me Azula-sama. I am not a warrior.” Elle muttered with a concerned frown while Azula smiled mockingly down at her.

“In other words. If I decided to burn your belongings…you couldn’t stop me. Your words only matter if I deem it so.” Azula stated with the faintest sparks of flame beginning to burn at her fingertips while she met her now distraught handmaid’s fretful little eyes.

All the while the other two women who had already returned to their seats could only stare at their leader in disbelief.

“Azula! You can’t burn Elle’s belongings!” Ty Lee protested angrily with a scowl while her sadistic friend once more ignored her pleas.

“N-no. But you’re my best friend Azula-sama. You wouldn’t burn my only memories of my mother? Would you?” The blonde-haired girl pondered in soft voice while the princess now gazed down at her with a flicker of concealed surprise in her eyes.

Not a single one of them knew what happened to Elle’s parents.

The girl had only vaguely mentioned in passing that they died long ago.

“Azula.” Mai warned while she noted Elle’s emotive eyes growing close to tears.

“Oh, quit your sniveling would you! I was just toying with you.” The princess grunted before dropping the girl’s silly bag back into her lap.

She observed her young companion catch it with haste while she cradled it against her chest.

Azula found herself scoffing with another snide roll of her eyes while suppressing something akin to remorse over very nearly making her admirer cry.

And with that the princess plopped down onto her backside in her plush throne while she continued to eye the girl with a stern gaze.

“T-this is all I have left of her. Everything I treasure…is in this bag. That’s why I always carry it with me. So, it will always be close to heart.” Elle confessed with an emotional smile upon her face while she turned to her three taken aback friend’s.

Even the kind-hearted Ty Lee couldn’t help but feel a sudden sense of horribleness for having taken a part in teasing Elle with her bag.

It was obvious to her that it was dear to her little sister.

Yet hearing that everything that Elle loved was in that bag…

She couldn’t help but sniffle herself when Azula turned to glare her way in disgust.

“Cease the infernal waterworks Ty Lee. I was only trying to toughen the girl up. It’s for her own good anyhow.” Azula sighed before sinking back into her seat while she ignored their two stares of disagreement.

“C-can’t you try to be a little more sensitive Azula? Elle’s our friend. Isn’t she?” Ty Lee replied with her fingers wiping at her eyes while Azula glared between her and their young companion.

Sitting with her little bag hidden away in her arms as if it was her last lifeline.

“She wouldn’t be sitting at my throne room table if she wasn’t.” The princess snorted with a haughty roll of her cold eyes all the while eying her timid little handmaid’s annoyingly sensitive face.

“It’s alright oneesan. I’m not upset at any of you. And I know that Azula-sama has my best interests at heart. I trust my princess with all of my heart and soul. I know that she would never hurt me. Because we’re best buddies. Isn’t that right Azula-sama?” The blonde-haired girl commented with a hopeful smile while she turned to peer up at the ruthless woman’s glaring face.

Once more the acrobat found herself almost quirking a smile despite her sadness.

That’s the first time she has ever heard anyone refer to Azula as their ‘best buddy’.

“Hm? Oh sure. Of course, we are. Now pour me a drink! Can’t you see my glass is empty! Well! Hurry up with it ‘best buddy’!” Azula ordered just as she slammed her glass on the tabletop smirking all the while when Elle frantically scrambled forward upon command.

The remaining members of Team Azula just sighed heavily under their breath.

It was apparent that Azula’s idea of a best friend was someone that was completely submissive to her will.

“Y-yes master! I’ll be a good girl. T-thank you for looking out for me…” Elle trailed off with another sniffle before she carefully began to pour Azula a tall glass of wine.

“You foolish little thing... you wouldn’t survive without me. Now no more crying or I will punish you! Is that understood girl!” The princess barked in a tyrannical voice with a haughty snap of her fingers in her admirer’s gulping face.

“As you say Your Highness! I am so glad that we have each other.” The blonde-haired girl answered before a great smile broke out across her innocent face when a strong palm lowered into her hair.

And then she found herself compressed beneath Azula’s strict petting hand all the while she peered up at the captivating woman with a bashful blush now adorning her cheeks.

“Just…be a good girl for me Elle. Try not to worry so much. If anyone tries to burn your bag. I will mercilessly slaughter them.” Azula assured with a sanguine smile while she leaned forward just as she fondly trailed her fingers through her submissive girl’s hair.

“Yes! My princess will protect me!” Elle exclaimed with a giggle while Azula snidely snorted out a puff of blue fire in response.

“I swear you’re a strange one Elle. If you had any sense you’d run away as fast as your feet could carry you.” The markswoman muttered in a deadpan voice while she observed the bizarre scene that was the younger girl leaning into the princess’s patting hand.

“If I ever catch this one trying to run away, I will find her, capture her and leash her for the rest of her days.” The princess declared in a terrifyingly possessive voice while she reclined in her throne with her hand now gripping her little handmaid’s head.

The announcement sent shivers down the spines of both Mai and Ty Lee.

All while they watched Elle smile happily with upmost joy in her eyes while Azula allowed the girl to lay down over the arm of her throne.

“Why would I ever want to run away Azula-sama? I find your rule quite comforting.” The blonde-haired girl stated with a serene smile while she relaxed beneath the older female’s petting hand.

Just feeling her princess’s long fingernails curl into her hair was enough to send a blissful shudder down her spine.

“Well. At least she’s happy.” The brown-haired woman quipped while her fellow noblewoman just cast her a deadpan glance that made her sweatdrop.

“Mhm. And well trained. Wouldn’t you agree?” Azula purred with her fist grasping at Elle’s hair while the teenage girl began to rest on the arm of her throne.

And then the princess lazily placed the entirety of her arm over the young girl’s body with her elbow now pressing into the petite girl’s back.

While she continued to dance her fingers through her young handmaid’s hair all the while Elle was never once bother over being used as an arm rest.

“Y-yeah. She certainly is Azula.” Ty Lee agreed with a nervous sigh yet even so she managed to smile over how strangely adorable the two were together.

No matter how much Azula tried to pretend that she didn’t care for Elle…a teeny bit of affection would always shine through.

Even when the princess was trying her hardest to behave cruelly to the girl.

“And peace wins yet again.” Elle spoke in a serene sigh just when Azula glanced down at her with narrowing golden eyes.

“Do you think that you’ve defeated me tiger monkey?” The princess demanded with the flames of war ablaze in her callous eyes once more.

And the two noblewomen could only sweatdrop to see a woman as ruthless as Azula bickering with a young girl.

“Not in combat but I have defeated you with kindness twice today.” The blonde-haired girl chirped with a joyous countenance even when the domineering palm held her blushing face in the arm of the throne.

“Wrong! My dominance has won yet again!” Azula growled with her lips pursing into a tight scowl while she glared down at the girl’s little face beneath her controlling grip.

“No. Love and peace wins again.” Elle retorted sweetly while she curled up underneath Azula’s muscular bicep.

“You couldn’t defeat me even if I was asleep!” The princess exclaimed haughtily while she stared down at her petite companion with icy golden eyes.

“I don’t know Azula-sama. I think that there are a few areas where I could defeat you.” The blonde-haired girl chirped before craning her neck to beam up at the princess’s rigid face.

“Name them! And I will subjugate you beneath my boot each time without fail!” Azula scoffed just as she flicked her hair from her eyes in an arrogantly seductive manner.

“Painting princess! I can paint your likeness better than you.” Elle answered sweetly while she peered up at Azula’s beautiful face curving into a slight scowl.

“Please! I am a prodigy by divine right. I am confident that I can just as easily outdo you with a paint brush as I do in strength!” The princess announced with a conceited wave of her hand before turning her head angrily when she heard the acrobat laughing in disagreement.

“I don’t know about that Azula. I think that you are setting yourself up for embarrassment here.” The brown-haired woman chuckled while the monarch huffed in her usual smug manner.

“I love you very much Azula-sama. I don’t want to embarrass you…” The blonde-haired girl trailed off with a gentle smile while the older female growled above her.

“Really? Well I can breathe better than you. The skill of a firebender is determined by their lungs. This means that I am vastly more talented at breathing than you.” Azula spoke with a hubristic smirk while she pointed a controlling finger in Elle’s now pouting face.

“T-that’s not very fair Azula-sama. I have a lung condition.” Elle muttered pitifully with a twinge of hurt in her voice before averting her eyes shamefully.

The princess could only scowl while she tried her hardest to conceal something akin to remorse after noticing that her words had hurt her handmaid’s feelings.

“Seriously Azula? That’s low. Even for you.” Mai stated with a disapproving shake of her head while Azula rolled her eyes in an overly proud manner.

“Well. I suppose I could let the subject slide. I would hate to embarrass you after all.” The princess remarked as she scanned her finger nails in a beyond entitled manner while she peered down at her petite companion.

“You’re so amazing Azula-sama. There is very little I can do better than you other than painting.” The blonde-haired commented with admiration in her voice while the princess swelled in confidence high above her.

“It pleases me that you admit that I am superior. But take heart my pet. I am still fond of you.” Azula boasted with a broad smile before once more patting her servant’s little head.

“But I bet that I am better at video games that you.” Elle boasted with her chest puffing out in a display of innocent pride while all three of her friends blinked in confusion.

With good reason of course.

Not even Azula had heard her servant mention any ‘video games’.

“Video games little sister?” The brown-haired woman asked with curiosity in her voice while she grinned over in the direction of the younger girl’s suddenly excited face.

“Oh! Video games are so cool! That’s the only thing I miss about my homeland. The Fire Nation has no video games.” The blonde-haired girl exclaimed with a trace of disappointment in her voice that annoyed her master.

“So, you miss trivial peasant games. Why does that not surprise me?” The princess snorted with another haughty roll of her elegant eyes.

“Pardon me for saying so Azula-sama but you don’t even know what video games are. You are clearly misinformed on the subject. But don’t worry! I’ll educate you! Because you’re my best buddy.” The blonde-haired girl cheered before she happily embraced the older female’s arm while the princess began to scowl once more.

And she turned to glare in the direction of her two friends’ when they began to chuckle in amusement.

“Are you backtalking me girl?” Azula questioned with a flicker of playfulness in her voice before glaring down at her intended’s jubilant face.

“Oh no. I am getting factual.” Elle quipped with a sunny smile just as she reached for her backpack while Azula took a graceful sip of her wine.

“Is that so? Well I can only imagine that the knowledge you are about to share with us will shake the world as we know it.” The princess scoffed yet even so she found herself staring down at her handmaid with an attentive gaze.

“Don’t be like that Azula! We should be eager to listen to Elle tell us about her homeland.” Ty Lee spoke with a kind-hearted nod while they watched the girl begin to open her bag.

“Yes. Elle. Why don’t you school Azula on the subject?” Mai snickered while Azula glared between them with a foul tempered stare.

“Video games aren’t just for peasants Azula-sama. They are games that have been made for people of all ages and social classes. Traditionally they come in the form of handheld systems and game consoles.” The blonde-haired girl explained while her three older girls began to listen curiously.

“Game consoles?” The brown-haired woman pondered while their young companion nodded before proudly holding up a small handheld box that fit in the palm of her hands.

“This is a portable game system. You see after it is powered on this screen here lights up. And then you can play an interactive game of your choosing. Think of it like this… a simulation that appears on the screen. And then you control your game character through a serious of obstacles and challenges.” Elle stated with rising enthusiasm in her voice while Azula tried to hide the faint fascination that was developing in her eyes.

Once more the trio was realizing that Elle’s world had some truly fascinating inventions.

Much like the girl’s little music player all three of them were finding themselves inquisitive over the device.

Though Azula found herself growing undeniably curious.

She was much more interested in her admirer’s music player than any sort of game device.

“Wow. That’s really something isn’t it Azula?” Ty Lee commented with a smile while Azula continued to act as if she was above anything that didn’t involve warfare.

“I suppose I could see how such ridiculous games would be appealing to you and Elle. But I am more interested in the finer things in life.” Azula answered in a snobbish voice while Mai rolled her eyes from the corner of her vison.

“But Azula-sama! Video games are one of the best things in life! Maybe someday we’ll find a way to visit my homeland together? And you can play all sorts of games with me!” The blonde-haired girl called out with delight lacing her voice while she tugged on the spoiled woman’s sleeve.

“While I won’t deny that you’ve piqued my interest in visiting your homeland. The only purpose of such a visit would be to conquer it in the name of the Fire Nation.” The princess declared with a violent smile before returning her gaze back down to her chipper handmaid.

“That is just too cruel. Even for you Azula. Going to her homeland for the sole purpose of conquering it. If you ever did that, I will quit your team and no amount of force will convince me to return.” The brown-haired woman informed with a fading smile while the princess stared back at her in disbelief.

Azula was so taken aback by the statement that she had yet to form a rebuttal.

And even Mai was surprised to hear Ty Lee openly warn Azula against such an action.

What angered the princess the most was that she had just been making a comment in passing.

It was mostly just mild teasing.

“Um. I mean no disrespect Your Highness but that would be a very bad idea. I advise against plunging straight into warfare with a land you know very little about.” Elle stated just as she chewed on her lip while Azula spun around to glare down at her with narrowed eyes.

“Are you trying to tell me that I would lose? Please! You have already told me that you don’t even know if you have any benders at all in your homeland! You have what? One token woman who may or may not be a bender? The Fire Nation has tens of thousands of benders.” The princess sneered just as she gazed down at the girl with piercing golden eyes.

“I-I never stated that you would lose or succeed. But while they don’t have thousands of benders, they make up for it in advanced war machines and weapons that easily make up for a lack of bending.” The blonde-haired girl replied while Azula’s eyed flickered in sudden interest over the mention of weapons and war machines.

“Why would you even want to plunge the Fire Nation into yet another war when we haven’t even finished the one, we’ve been fighting for the last hundred years?” The markswoman queried with disbelief lacing her voice while her leader just scowled.

They all knew that Azula knew she was right.

She was just too proud to say it.

“Besides Azula-sama. If you were to invade my homeland, you would find yourself invading far more than four nations. And even worse, you would eventually find yourself pushing into Rieko’s province. There’s a saying in my homeland. Don’t cross Rieko. She’s a very vengeful person. She would not hesitate to begin butchering your people in retaliation. It…would be a fruitless endeavor. Tens of thousands would die on both sides and it’s likely you two would kill each other. And…I would be very sad to see so many people die over something so pointless.” Elle spoke softly with a frown adorning her lips while Azula’s scowl continued to deepen.

“You think that I would die! Are you doubting my strength already!” Azula barked with her lips pursed into a thin line before leaning down to glare into her pet’s now quivering eyes.

Although it went without saying that her interest in this woman had grown even further.

And though she wouldn’t vocalize it she knew that the girl had a point.

It would be foolish to invade a foreign land without performing the proper research beforehand.

“N-no princess. I…just don’t want to see anyone die…why does everything have to always be about war. It…depresses me.” The blonde-haired girl mumbled in a sullen voice while the other two gazed at the sadistic woman in a reproachful manner.

“It’s okay little sister. Pay Azula no mind. She’s just a war-obsessed meanie. Tell us more about your games!” Ty Lee chirped while Azula turned her head to stare at her with an irate gaze.

“Ty Lee! She’s my pet not yours! I dictate her life. Not you. Go get your own pet peasant.” The princess snapped rudely with a possessiveness to her voice while the other woman just sighed once more.

“Pet peasant? That’s a crude insult.” Mai remarked with a frown while Azula continued to loom over Elle in an overbearing manner.

“It’s alright! I don’t mind being Her Highness’s pet peasant.” Elle assured with a returning smile just when she felt a palm lower into her hair once more.

“And there you have it. The girl agrees with me.” Azula purred with satisfaction lining her voice while she patted Elle’s blushing head.

“A-anyway. Video games come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. We have larger screens that you can play them on. About the size of that painting over there. But those ones aren’t for portable use.” The blonde-haired girl spoke with reviving excitement while she pointed at a painting on the wall.

The trio turned to the painting with growing surprise in their eyes that the games in this foreign land were seemingly so detailed.

“Servant. The size of a game ‘screen’ is of little interest to me. Such things are for lesser minds.” The princess scoffed while her friends barring her handmaid rolled their eyes at her.

“Oh, but princess I just know that we have games that would be of interest to you. You would probably love the violent video games.” Elle piped while Azula glance down at her as soon as she heard the word ‘violence’.

“Violent games?” Azula asked with a hand on her chin while her two-childhood friends shook their heads.

“Mhm! You see video games are called as such because they offer an immersive experience. You get to play a character in a world that is completely fiction. It’s like a drawing that comes to life before your very eyes.” The blonde-haired girl answered with clear delight in her tone while the older girl’s listened in amazement.

“That’s amazing Elle! Your homeland has some truly astounding inventions. It sounds fun!” The brown-haired woman exclaimed while she grinned over at her little sister’s adorably smiling face.

“My favorite games are platformers. They are more light-hearted in design. The name comes from how your character has to jump about to avoid obstacles of varying difficulty.” Elle responded in a clearly elated voice while Azula drank another drink of her beverage.

“Enough about these childish…’platformers’. I command you to tell me more about the gruesome games.” The princess demanded in a sadistic voice while she peered down at her pretty little pet.

“Of course. Leave it to Azula to only care about death and destruction.” The markswoman muttered while she folded her arms over her bust.

“W-well they’ve even created games where you can kill people in simulations.” The blonde-haired girl announced with a slight flinch while the three women stared at her with surprised eyes.

Even Azula was astonished by such a concept.

“Really? I can butcher people and wage war in a game?” Azula questioned with evident interest in her voice while her childhood friends shuddered in their seats.

“Yeah. Like I told you Azula-sama. There are all kinds of games. Horror survival games, war games, fantasy games and even crime games. I just know that you would love Grand Theft Auto.” Elle answered while Azula blinked down at her in now unconcealed surprise over how complex video games were proving to be.

“Grand Theft Auto?” The princess repeated with a curious hum to her voice while the small girl nodded speedily.

“I…liked the sound of the platforming games better!” Ty Lee spoke while Azula rolled her arrogant eyes at her.

“Of course, you would find a circus-like game endearing. But the more sophisticated minds present are more curious about the murderous games.” Azula remarked with a wave of her hand while Ty Lee just sighed yet again.

“Most parents won’t let their kid’s play the mature games unless you’re seventeen. So…I’ve only played a few. My mother never approved of such violence. She taught me to be peaceful and courteous. And even though she’s gone…I continue to do so. To honor her memory.” The blonde-haired girl stated with a reminiscent countenance while all three women sensed her inner sorrow.

“Believe me. I can tell.” The princess sighed while any remarks about her admirer’s mother swiftly died in her throat.

If only to avoid more waterworks.

“Any mother that can raise their daughter to be able to tolerate Azula of all people must be nothing short of astounding. Most people make it a point to spend as little time around her as possible.” The brown-haired woman commented while the princess’s narrowed eyes swept over her.

“Ty Lee.” Azula snarled with a twinge of offense in her callous voice while the other woman winced under her icy stare.

“Yeah. Talk about survival skills.” The markswoman teased in a deadpan voice while the princess glared at her as well.

“But anyhow. About Grand Auto.” Elle continued with clear avoidance in her voice that they took careful note of.

“I can’t say it sounds very friendly. Not with theft in the title.” Ty Lee sighed while she began to play with her braided hair.

Only to flinch when Elle laughed nervously as if to imply that it was much worse than she thought.

“Oh no oneesan it’s not friendly at all. You play as a criminal that performs various sorts of illegal tasks. Frequently the in-game bosses will send you out to rob stores, or kill another character. You start off small and eventually gain control of the entire city.” The blonde-haired girl explained with a raised finger while the trio stared at her in amazement.

Even Azula couldn’t deny that these games were proving to be much more intricate than she had taken them to be.

“Hm. So you start off as an underling and eventually conquer an entire city?” The princess purred in a disturbingly piqued voice while her friends shivered once more.

“Yep! I just knew that it would be your cup of tea Azula-sama. You can even run over civilians. Rob the elderly. And kill the innocent in mass.” Elle chirped while the three older girls sat stunned to hear a pacifistic girl explaining such a malicious game.

“T-that’s not very pink at all!” The brown-haired woman protested while she cringed over her leader’s now cruelly smiling face.

“I think it sounds quite very Ty Lee.” Azula replied while she still peered down at her pet with amused golden eyes.

“But there are some rules master. If you kill too many innocent people the in-game police will hunt you down and punish you.” The blonde-haired girl chirped while the sadistic woman listened in grudging fascination.

The fact that some killing was permitted but ‘not too many’ was just mind-boggling to even the likes of Mai.

“Punish me, would they? I would like to see fictional police try to stop the Great Princess Azula.” The princess boasted with a haughty smile while her friends sweatdropped in their seats.

Leave it to Azula to take it upon herself to wage war on people that don’t even exist.

“Oh, they would do more than try Azula-sama. They made it so the police are invincible. You can’t defeat them. They have infinite ammo, and even when you blow up a police car more follow soon after. They corner you and kill you every time! They did this so you are forced to adhere to the rules of the game. The idea is to rise up through the storyline. Because if you want to conquer the city you have to abide by the rules. This way there is no short cut to conquest.” Elle informed with a nod while Azula stared down at her with a cold smile gracing her crimson lips.

“I suppose that makes sense. You can’t really conquer a city by burning the elderly and running down the civilians.” Azula remarked with a lazy wave of her hand while Elle nodded in agreement.

“I have to ask. What’s the point to such a malicious game? It’s actually very disturbing. Even if it is all pretend.” Ty Lee mumbled with a frown while she gazed over at their strange companion.

“I don’t really know oneesan. But if I had to answer I would say it’s because there’s always a market for everything. And even though I’ve never really been into games like that. I think some people find it a good way to vent out their anger at the world. I mean…it’s better to wage a fictional war than to kill thousands in a real war.” The blonde-haired girl answered in a thoughtful manner while her big sister nodded in nervous understanding.

“Oh, I disagree. Even as fascinating as that sounds. There is no point in investing my time in a fictious conquest when I can dominate this world in the flesh!” The princess called out with flames flaring to life behind her while gazed on in a clearly bloodthirsty manner.

The other three girl’s sweatdropped while they could have sworn, they heard crickets chirping in the corner of the room.

“Um…well I guess so. But someday we’ll play video games together won’t we Azula-sama?” Elle asked with childlike hope in her voice while she peered up at Azula seated upon her large throne.

“How many times do I have to tell you that I have no time for such childish things! I have a kingdom to run. I don’t have time for games.” Azula snapped with her words causing her little handmaid’s shoulders to slump.

“Don’t you worry little sister! Azula would be happy to set aside time to play games with you.” The brown-haired woman assured while she snickered at her leader’s glaring face when the teenager’s face lit up once more.

“D-do you think that you can find a way to power my handheld game system too Azula-sama?” The blonde-haired girl requested with an innocent countenance while the princess glanced down at her in clear annoyance.

“As it stands, I must duplicate your breather, and cure your little chest pains. Not to mention the repair of your music box. And now you want me to power your peasant game device?” The princess queried with her callous eyes now staring down at her dainty handmaid’s once more fading smile.

“S-sumimasen master.” The blonde-haired girl stuttered with her amber eyes gazing away only for her princess to groan while she massaged the bridge of her nose.

“You are a needy little thing. But I wouldn’t have any other. Very well then Elle. I shall dominate even the repair of your toys! You will submit to me for all time! Even your toys will bow before me!” Azula bellowed with a controlling snap of her fingers while her handmaid stared up at her with worshipful little eyes.

“Y-yes princess! I submit to you!” Elle cried out while she saluted the power-hungry woman’s smirking face.

“Good girl. So well behaved…” The princess cooed in a possessive voice before planting her hand in the small girl’s hair once more.

“I-I…try my best Azula-sama. You know I’ll always be your faithful girl.” The blonde-haired girl stammered with a reddened tint to her cheeks while she sank back into her seat beneath the princess’s strong palm.

All the while savoring how the charming woman began to curl her fingers in her hair.

“It has long since become apparent that I am the ideal woman for you. No other woman can offer the dominance and assertive rule that you so desperately crave. Isn’t that right?” Azula purred before stooping down to peer into her pet’s blushing face while she purposefully exhaled in the young girl’s eyes.

“P-please take control of me Azula-sama. I would be scared to face the world if you weren’t here to guide me.” Elle admitted in a meek voice while she trembled when Azula grasped ahold of her cheeks with a charismatic smile on her alluring lips.

The two noblewomen had long since given up on advising their adopted sister against saying as such.

By now it was clear that the innocent girl actually enjoyed it when Azula exerted control over her.

Not that it made any sense to them though.

“You are a submissive little thing…and I like that.” The princess cooed in a honeyed voice while she leaned over the arm of her throne with her palms cupping her little intended’s face.

“I-I am so very happy that I am to your liking princess…I-I want to be your little lady.” The blonde-haired girl confessed in a lovesick voice while she turned red

“Naïve girl. You are my little lady.” Azula scoffed with a fond roll of her eyes before taking the others by surprise when she pulled the girl into a chaste kiss.

Elle found herself falling forward with her amber eyes agape in wonder to find her princess crush her into a gentle kiss.

Her heart was racing a thousand miles a minute while Azula tenderly held onto her cheek with her lips pressing into her forehead.

It completely stunned Mai and Ty Lee into a speechless silence to see Azula kissing Elle in such an astonishingly affectionate manner.

The small girl sat paralyzed in awe while she gazed up at the entrancing princess now glancing down at her with a sanguine smirk that sent a pleasurable shiver down her spine.

All the while Azula slowly removed her lips in a deliberately slow fashion before leaning down to peer into her little intended’s astonished eyes.

“Mhm. Tell me…who owns you?” The princess pondered with her fingernails gently brushing the girl’s blonde locks from her widened eyes.

The teenager audibly gulped down her nervousness all the while staring up at the older female with reverence in her eyes.

“Y-you Azula-sama. I-I am your little lady.” Elle answered with an adorable stutter lacing her innocent voice while the regal woman’s amused chuckles began to flow into her ears.

“My little lady…” Azula spoke in a silken voice with her hands grasping at Elle’s cheeks while she smiled confidently when the girl wrapped her arms around her neck.

And just like that Elle fell face first into Azula’s shoulder while she embraced the older girl’s neck as if her life depended on it.

“Aww! That’s so…ouch!” Ty Lee blurted out loudly only to yelp when Mai slapped her upside the head.

“Don’t say another word.” Mai whispered in a warning voice while she fixed the now abashed woman with a stern stare.

The acrobat nodded with a twinge of redness to her cheeks while they discreetly observed the cruel princess allow the young girl to fall into her arms.

“I…love you so much Azula-sama.” The blonde-haired girl mumbled with redness adorning her cheeks before blushing even deeper when the older girl’s growls emanated in her ears once more.

“I know you do. Now come here.” The princess hissed into the trembling girl’s ear before swiftly pulling her handmaid over the arm of her golden throne and into her lap.

“I-if my princess says come. I come.” Elle agreed in a spellbound voice before she fell into Azula’s lap while two strong arms clutched her in a possessive manner.

And not a moment later the young girl found herself with her face resting on her princess’s shoulder while well-manicured fingernails continued to gently stroke her cheek.

“Hm. You are a pleasing little dear. Just be good…I’ll take care of you.” Azula remarked with her hand holding onto the back of her handmaid’s head while the girl lay in a dreamy trance.

“Yes. My alpha will take care of me.” The blonde-haired girl replied in a lovestruck voice while she felt the princess’s fingernails continue to drum along her cheekbone.

“That’s right girl. I am your alpha…you have been conquered. And don’t you ever forget it.” The princess growled with her breath now brushing against her trembling girl’s cheeks.

“Oh Azula-sama. How could I? This is a dream come true.” Elle stated softly in a blissful fashion before sighing serenely in the older female’s hold.

The other two members of Team Azula could have sighed while they watched Azula’s smug lips curve into the biggest smirk she could muster.

It was obvious that the princess’s ego had just soared to even further heights.

“Humph. I am a true prodigy. Even at dating. I mean just look at this. Young girls beg and plead for the right to be in my arms. Their young minds are helpless against my charms.” Azula announced in a supremely haughty voice with Elle burrowing into her breasts while she snaked her arms around the girl’s back.

“Uh…I don’t know about all of that Azula but you two are cute together.” Ty Lee giggled with a wide grin while Azula now held Elle in her well-toned arms.

“One girl Azula. One girl.” Mai taunted with a slight smirk while Azula huffed with her fingers still fiddling with Elle’s golden hair.

“One is more than either one of you have.” The princess boasted with a proud smile while she peered down at her lovely handmaid with her little face propped up against her bosom.

The two noblewomen just sighed while never even bothering to muster a retort to the other woman’s arrogant brag.

“Azula-sama?” The blonde-haired girl began to a gentle voice while the princess stared down at her with fondness reserved for her and her alone.

“Yes Elle?” Azula answered with a twinge of attentiveness in her voice while Elle shyly traced a finger down her toned bicep.

“Since I’m your little lady does that mean you’ll play games with me?” Elle requested with a trusting smile while Azula rolled her golden eyes above her.

“Is that your only concern? Peasant games?” The princess snorted in a spoiled voice while the teenager continued to gaze up at her with hopeful amber eyes.

“You know Azula. I’ve noticed whenever you tell Elle no you always find yourself back at square one ten minutes later.” The brown-haired woman informed in a helpful voice while the other woman began to glare down at the girl in her arms.

No doubt well aware that she wasn’t wrong.

“If you’re worried about not knowing how to play. Don’t be. I’ll teach you.” The blonde-haired girl chirped in a cheerful voice while the princess narrowed her golden eyes from her position above her.

The sound of amused snickering filled the room while Azula raised her eyes to cast her friends an icy stare.

“You? Teach me?” Azula repeated with mockery unhidden in her arrogant voice while she watched the girl rapidly nod her little head.

“That’s so Azula-sama. I’ll even go easy on you while you’re learning how to play.” Elle assured in a lovable voice while Azula stiffened with her eyes widening in anger.

“What did you just say to me girl!” The princess bellowed with the torches above her now alight in ominous blue fire while her compatriots continued to laugh at her expense.

“I said I’ll hold back on you because you’ll be at a disadvantage.” The blonde-haired girl answered sweetly while the princess now glared down at her with the flames of war burning in her golden gaze.

“You think you can defeat me even at a peasant game? I have no time for such childish things…but if I did. I would surely crush you.” Azula declared in a sanguine voice with her cold eyes examining her fingernails before turning to stare down at the giggling girl.

“Oh no Azula-sama. I am an expert at video games. I have been playing them since I was a little girl. I would decimate you.” Elle retorted with a joyful grin while she craned her neck to peer up at her now angered master.

“Are you challenging me tiger monkey?” The princess demanded with her lips pursing into a regal frown while her young companion’s head rested against her chest.

“Mhm! My love for you is so great that I will even let you win a few rounds.” The blonde-haired girl assured with a finger on her lip only for a long fingertip to raise her chin upward.

Her heart began to race once more when she found herself gazing up into sanguine golden eyes that sent blissful shivers down her spine.

“You are beginning to grow rebellious. I can see that a further display of my dominance is in order! You will bow beneath my boot for all time! Is that understood Elle!” Azula bellowed just as she thrust her fingertip in her little intended’s speedily nodding face.

“I-if you say bow Azula-sama, t-this girl bows.” Elle agreed with a spellbound stutter before embracing Azula around her belly while the regal woman grunted above her.

“I am your dominant…you had best remember that little lady.” The princess grumbled with a trace of underlying fondness in her voice while she peered down at the small girl hiding in her belly.

“This little lady remembers princess.” The blonde-haired girl mumbled in an adorably meek voice while she felt the older female’s hand slide down her back.

“Now that is what I like to hear.” Azula sighed with her arm wrapped around the girl’s back while the smaller girl hid face first in her breasts.

“B-but I am quite skilled at Mario Kart princess.” Elle commented while Azula scrunched her nose up in puzzlement over the bizarre name.

As did the other two noblewomen who were now mutually curious over their young companion’s video games.

“Elle. Just shut up.” The princess ordered with another pompous roll of her eyes while Elle clung to her toned bicep.

“Yes Azula-sama. I’ll be good.” The blonde-haired girl spoke in a peaceful voice while she lay against the woman’s soft chest with a relaxed smile upon her lips.

“Good. That’s my girl.” Azula purred with her fingernails brushing through the small girl’s hair once more all the while holding her handmaid into her bosom.

The young girl just blushed with contented countenance when the older girl patted her head once more.

By now they both knew that their bond was deeper than words could ever convey.

And Azula likewise knew that she wouldn’t be letting this one go.

Of that the princess was certain.

[uzumaki-rebellion]

“Stark’s New Intern” Chp. 7

Summary: Erik receives a clue from his past...

"Leave me breadcrumbs for the ride To guide me back Leave me breadcrumbs for the ride To guide me back Leave me breadcrumbs for the ride To guide me back Leave me breadcrumbs for the ride To guide me, guide me back…"

Jamila Woods (Feat. Nico Segal) —"Breadcrumbs"

Devika pulled in front of Erik's apartment unit and Maria was already standing by the curb waiting for him.

"Thanks for the ride," Erik said.

Devika nodded and Erik was surprised to see Giselle walk down their apartment steps to meet him too. Her eyes glanced at Devika in the BMW.

"See you tomorrow, Erik," Devika said.

She drove away and Erik faced Maria and Giselle.

"Where have you been?" Maria asked.

"Stark had me at his—"

Maria's arms were thrown around his waist before he could finish speaking.

"I thought you were gone for good until I saw your luggage," she whispered into his chest.

"It's all good. Stark had me work in another lab and then he took me to his house."

"For what?" Giselle asked.

Erik hoped she would hug him too, but she stood next to Maria with concern in her eyes. She was worried about him too.

"He had a party and I followed him around. That's it."

"He doesn't have a house. He has a mansion that is out of this world. I saw pictures of it in Architectural Design," Maria said.

"So you're not leaving the internship?" Giselle asked.

"Nah."

She let out an audible sigh and he followed them both back into the apartment.

"Who brought you home?" Maria said.

"Stark's secretary."

Erik looked at Giselle.

"Why are you over here so late?"

"Maria called me."

Maria showed him her cell.

"I received this email from our Project Manager. It says I have to meet in a different department tomorrow morning—"

Maria's face looked stressed out and beyond worry. Erik removed his bowtie and pulled off his tuxedo jacket. Both women ogled his clothes.

"Don't trip. You and Valentina are moving to a new department with me."

"Why? I thought…I thought they liked my work—"

"They do, but Stark let me move to a place that wanted me and he asked me to name two people from my team to go with me. I chose you. And Valentina."

"You chose me?"

Maria's face lit up and she hugged him again.

"Lemme change real quick," Erik said prying her fingers from around him again.

His luggage was on his bed and he quickly slipped into shorts and a t-shirt.

"I gotta warn you Maria, where you're going is pretty intense. The boss of that lab ain't no joke."

"I can handle it," Maria said.

"I know you can," he said.

"I'm going to bed so I can be ready. I can finally go to sleep. Night Giselle!"

Maria scurried into her room, her spirits lifted, and Erik let his eyes rest on Giselle. She looked shy almost, her eyes breaking away from his stare.

"Guess I'll head home," she said.

"You don't have to leave."

"It's really late. I'm glad things worked out."

"Me too."

He walked over to her, stepped close enough so that his face was near hers. Her energy was pleasant, but she wasn't welcoming in the way he wanted. Professional. Bet.

"Night then," he said heading to the front door and opening it for her.

Giselle patted his shoulder and left.

###

Valentina and Maria brought their A-game.

Erik was in the middle of trying to interface two software programs that had maddening glitches that stumped him all morning when Janine pulled him aside.

"You gave me some sharp picks, Stevens," Janine said munching on baby carrots.

"Yeah?"

"Valentina and Maria fit right in. You have a good eye for talent. Tell me something…what do you want to gain from this internship?"

Erik rolled back his standing chair and faced Janine as she snacked in front of him.

"Practical real-world experience with coding applications—"

"No, your endgame. Don't give me the resume speech. What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Erik smiled.

This always happened.

His work ethic, extreme focus, and interests in multiple fields always brought the curious his way. His being Black never let him blend into the background with white people like the Asian staff. Being the small five percent of Black faces in Stark's offices never allowed anonymity. And when one was as good as Erik, that subconscious threat always reared its ugly head: Who is this uppity negro blowing up the spot? Janine wasn't even aware of how she was sounding to him. They never were. It showed up as curiosity, but the goal was to assess where they stood compared to him. Was he coming for their spot? Janine really had nothing to worry about, but after two weeks of him helping that department make progress in such a short span of time, she needed to know if Erik was aiming to become permanent.

"I'm joining the Navy. I want to be an officer."

Janine bit into a carrot and nodded.

"A Navy career. No interest in working for us at all?"

He shook his head.

"Been wanting to be in the Navy since I was little. It's why I went to the Naval Academy."

"Our loss," she said walking away.

Erik rolled back to the computer viewscreen. Janine was glad he wasn't trying to stay there. And she would use his brain up all she could before he left.

"Erik, can I see you for a minute?"

Valentina's face popped up on the viewscreen in a smaller chat screen. Erik closed down his work station and padded over to another station.

Valentina lounged in a beanie bag with her keyboard on her lap and her floating screen hanging above her.

"'Sup," Erik said.

"Does this look right?"

Erik enlarged the string of code near his face.

"What are you trying to do?" he said.

"Bypass all this junk code. There's got to be a better way to streamline all of this. We're on deadline and Janine wants a working simulation by Friday. This is going to take longer than Friday."

"You tell her that?" Erik asked swiping images, searching for problematic links.

"I'd like to keep my head on my shoulders."

"Want me to talk to her?"

"No. If you do that, then she might question why I'm here. Can you look this over later? Maybe you can catch something I'm missing. I'm getting a migraine over it."

"Let's go to lunch."

"Outside of the cafeteria?"

"Yeah."

Valentina powered down her computer and grabbed her purse. They walked through the hallway and found an express elevator they could crowd on. Once they made it to the lobby, Valentina gave out a loud sigh.

"How can you deal with Janine? She makes me feel like I'm not pulling my weight," she said.

"She giving you grief?"

"She doesn't say anything, just gives you those looks with those creepy eyes of hers. It's like playing poker and she has that neutral poker face, but with shades on. And a ten-gallon cowboy hat. And six-shooters on her hip waiting to take you down."

"She ain't that bad."

"I enjoy the work that I do, so don't think I don't appreciate your name dropping me, but sheesh…every time she comes to my station, I feel like I'm under a guillotine."

A bit of a ruckus stirred up near the entrance as Tony breezed in followed by reporters. Security surrounded the paps as Tony pulled off his shades. His head security officer, a big dude he heard Tony calling Happy, posted up next to him with his hands folded in front of him but his green ear bud glowing as he whispered instructions discreetly to the rest of his staff.

Tony held his hands out to the paps.

"There is no connection between my deal with the Afghan government and the SICA rebels. I am a businessman who works with many countries and I don't deal in politics—"

"But your weapons systems give certain groups advantages that our government has questioned because of anti-democratic behavior and human rights abuses—"

"And our government does business with plenty of countries with anti-democratic behavior and human rights abuses…China anyone?"

"Tony-!"

"Mr. Stark-!"

Tony turned away from the paps and Happy herded them out of the lobby with security in tow.

"Stevens, Berlotti…"

Tony's eyes swept over them.

"We're heading out for lunch," Erik said.

Valentina stood next to Erik a bit starry-eyed.

"Where to?" Tony asked looking at his platinum watch.

"The taco spot—"

"Cool, let's go," Tony said.

They followed Tony to a side exit.

"You not worried about reporters following you out here?"

"Happy has that under control," Tony said.

Alberto's Tacos was a small vendor cart that Erik found to his liking. The carne asada street tacos were flavorful and cheap and washed down with a cold Coke, it was heaven. The three of them sat on a bench not too far from the Stark building. White-collar workers streamed past them and no one took notice of Tony scarfing down greasy meat with his fingers.

"This is really good. Had no idea this stand was here all these years," Tony said licking his fingers.

Erik gulped down his Coke and Valentina kept quiet as she listened to Erik shoot the shit with Tony. He couldn't understand why she didn't ask the questions she was burning to ask him that she was always pestering Erik about during their lunch breaks. Tony took notice.

"You're really quiet Valentina," Tony said, his eyes taking her in.

"I'm just soaking it all in, Mr. Stark," she said, her eyes darting over to Erik.

"Things working well for you in your new set-up?"

"Yes—"

"Janine makes her nervous," Erik said.

Valentina nearly choked on her Sprite as she pulled the can from her lips.

Tony chuckled.

"You alright there, Berlotti?"

"Yes…yes, Sir. Went down the wrong pipe," she said wiping her lips.

"Janine is a tight ass, but don't let her chilly façade scare you. Are you worried about something?"

Erik gave Valentina a look for her to open her mouth and speak on her concerns openly. Her perfect bow lips quirked and then she put her soda can down. Erik nodded his head slightly at her.

"I'm worried about an assignment I have due on Friday. I won't be able to finish it because I need more time to work out the kinks because there are so many of them. There is no feasible way to have a working simulation up and running by then. There are four of us working on it and I'm the lead, but I can't…I can't fix it under this rigid time limit."

She pushed her hair back behind her ears. Her face looked ashamed. She sipped her soda again and Erik felt all of her confidence drain out into the ether.

"What do expect to happen on Friday?" Tony asked.

"Failure. I asked Erik to take a look at the work—"

"What about your immediate team?

"They are working on it—"

"Why aren't you with them now?"

Tony's eyes were bright and firm looking. He wasn't here for excuses.

"I have to eat."

"Working lunches are a thing Berlotti. You are the team leader. You wrangle your people and you figure the problem out. Why are you asking Stevens to look at your work? He has his own deadlines and team to worry about. You want him to take on your workload too? Alvarez has the same deadline and you know where she is right now? At her desk grinding. Janine said jump, Alvarez asked how high."

Valentina crushed her soda can and tossed it in a trash receptacle. She stood up and stared at Tony.

"I better get back to work," she said. The click-clack of her heels echoed as she left them.

"That was cold," Erik said.

"Cold? How?"

"She was confiding in you."

"That's what you're for. Not me. I expect results. Janine answers to me. So who do you think needs those codes running on Friday? Me."

"Did you have to throw Maria in her face like that though?"

"Maria works her ass off—"

"Valentina does too. She just hit a snag."

"And she will unravel the snag."

Erik finished his taco and Tony made a quick call.

"Let's get back to work," Tony said.

Erik followed him back to the offices and when they separated, he texted Valentina.

You okay?

He thinks I'm shit.

No he doesn't. Just high expectations.

Did he talk bad about me when I left?

Said you'd figure out the problem. Want me to look at the codes tonight?

No. I'll figure it out.

I know you will. Badass.

She sent him a happy face emoji.

"Erik Stevens?"

A guard at the information desk stopped him from going to the elevators.

"Yeah."

The guard reached down behind the desk and handed Erik a FedEx package.

"This came for you twenty minutes ago."

"Thanks," Erik said.

He walked over to a lobby couch and sat down. The return address was from his Uncle Bakari in D.C. Erik quickly opened the package. A folded note was taped to a small black notepad.

"JaJa,

Hope this finds you well. We found this in some of your mother's belongings when we cleaned out our attic for some installation issues we were having. Don't know how we missed it. Looks like it belonged to your father. We didn't want to throw it out. Not much written in it, but we wanted you to have it.

We are proud of you and look forward to seeing you at the end of August.

Love and Hugs,

Uncle Bakari & Aunt Shavonne"

Erik quickly pulled out the small black notepad. He flipped through the pages that had his father's distinct script written in it. All in Wakandan.

His eyes darted around where he sat. No one was paying attention to him. He jumped up and walked briskly to the nearest restroom.

Locking himself in a stall, Erik pulled down the toilet seat cover and sat down. He opened the notepad again and flipped to the first page. His fingers touched the paper gingerly, and he saw his fingers shake. His tongue touched his top lip and he felt the sting of tears prick the corners of his eyes.

"Baba," he whispered.

Wiping his eyes, he tried to gather himself together. The writing was neat, legible, and concise. Erik's brain shifted its language mode. Memories flooded his mind.

Sitting in his room back in Oakland tracing letters.

Wakandan letters.

Baba singing to him in his language, telling him stories about his homeland. Copying Baba's habit of writing in journals.

Stringing symbols to make sentences that looked otherworldly.

Think.

Remember.

Translate.

These were numbers. Cardinal directions.

Coordinates. GPS coordinates.

His father had made a handwritten map. For himself or someone else?

The numbers came to him quickly, but it took several minutes to accurately make out the rest.

Three places.

There was something buried in three different locations.

One of the places wasn't that far away. Joshua Tree. A little over three hours away.

Erik stepped out of the restroom stall and washed his hands. He stuffed the notepad in his shirt pocket right over his heart.

He wiped his face with a paper towel, and when two interns walked in chattering away, Erik slipped out and onto an elevator.

Baba left him a treasure map.

He just needed to figure out a way to go find what was buried in all three places.

###

Part 8

Tag List:

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[alexsfictionaddiction]

Alex Recommends: April Books

First of all, I want to offer my apologies for this post being a couple of days later than usual. I’ve been feeling pretty down for the last few days and I’m only just starting to step into the light again. Not being able to see so many people I love is starting to take its toll on me and I can feel myself getting irritable over small things. Whenever I realise that I’m being petty or getting annoyed over silly things, it has a knock-on effect on my self-esteem which then causes me to berate myself and hate anything I try to produce. So as you can imagine, the recent past hasn’t been full of ideal conditions to write anything good, whether that be blog posts, cover letters or my own fiction. I’ll get there though, I’m sure.

If you missed them earlier on this month, I wrote two posts full of books that are highly appropriate to our current situation. One is full of the best novels that centre on pandemics and the other is full of books to lift your spirits. Check them out, if you haven’t already cause I guarantee that one of them will have exactly what you need. 

I have read some other great books too and as ever, here are five that I haven’t reviewed or mentioned already this month but that you should definitely pick up. There’s a great mixture this month too, so hopefully one of these might pique your interests. Till next time, stay safe and take care! -Love, Alex x

SHOULD HAVE READ IT YEARS AGO: The Beginning of the World in the Middle of the Night by Jen Campbell

Jen Campbell is a very respected BookTuber and author. Hers was one of the first BookTube channels I began watching around eight years ago and I learnt so much about various mythologies and original folktales from her. I’ve had a copy of this book of her short stories for a little while and something compelled me to pick it up this month. My favourites include the title story written as a conversation between a couple as they discuss various theories on the beginning of the world; Margaret, Mary and the End of the World which details the parallels between a young pregnant Catholic girl and the immaculate conception in a very clever way and Aunt Libby’s Coffin Hotel, where those with a fear of death can experience a simulated version of it every night of their stay. Glittering with glimpses of traditional fairytales, myths and folklore, these strange, dark and whimsical stories are the perfect companion to a lonely night.

FICTION: Dominicana by Angie Cruz      

On New Year’s Day 1965, 15-year-old Ana is forced to marry Juan Ruiz, a man twice her age who will take her away from her humble home in the Dominican Republic to an apartment in New York City. Her parents have assured her that it is the best thing for the family and that she will create a better life in the States which they will all eventually be able to join. But with political turmoil bubbling away in her homeland and feelings simmering for a man who isn’t her husband, Ana realises that perhaps her life won’t quite be the simple comfortable one she has been promised. Full of forbidden doomed romances, Dominicana is a beautifully written novel about a culture and time period that I’ve never read before. I learnt so much about the struggles and emotional pain that girls like Ana suffer. Forced marriages aren’t something that have been left in the 1960s, so although the book is set over 50 years ago, it actually reads as somewhat contemporary. It’s not hard to see why it was recently shortlisted for the Women’s Prize for Fiction.

MIDDLE-GRADE: TrooFriend by Kirsty Applebaum

Ivy is Sarah’s TrooFriend 560 Mark IV, a highly sophisticated android who doesn’t harm, lie, steal or envy. Advertised as the ‘Better Choice For Your Child’, the TrooFriend is flying out of the factory doors, thanks to eager parents. However, rumours that the TrooFriend 560 Mark IV can experience real human emotions and could potentially be dangerous are stirring but that’s not true of Ivy... is it? Told from Ivy’s perspective, my heart went on a crazy ride with this one! It raises questions about rapid developments in AI and the potential relevance to human rights and ethics that comes with that. It brings up the idea that the technology industry has multiple dark secrets that the average consumer has no idea about. It’s easily the most unique middle-grade book I’ve ever read and I couldn’t put it down. Perhaps the perfect (very gentle) nudge into worlds like Black Mirror for 9-12 year olds.

YA: Loveboat, Taipei by Abigail Hing Wen

Ever Wong’s strict Chinese parents try their best to nip their daughter’s dancing dream in the bud by sending her to Taiwan to study Mandarin. Highly reluctant Ever finds herself spending her summer amongst over-achieving rich kids but what her parents don’t know is that this is actually Loveboat, a study program where clubbing and romance is much higher on students’ to-do lists. Intense friendships, a love square, the fake-dating trope and drama after drama, my bleeding heart was hooked. There is a lot of adult content in this book which could potentially class it as ‘new-adult’ rather than YA and I’d definitely say that this is for readers aged 16 and over. However, it does have some of my favourite elements of YA -self-discovery and pushing through the boundaries that have been set for you. Bonus information nugget: Loveboat is actually a real study and social program for Chinese-American students!

LITERARY FICTION: My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell

In 2000, when she was 15, Vanessa Wye had an intense passionate affair with her English professor, 42-year-old Jacob Strane. An affair that went on intermittently for years. In 2017, another of his students has accused Strane of sexual abuse and she wants Vanessa to tell her story and testify against a man she has been in love with since she was a teenager. There is so much explored in this breathtaking novel including trauma, obsession, consent, abuse of power but also the complexities of who truly holds the power in a relationship. I’ve never read a sexual abuse story where the lines are so blurred or a character quite as fresh and inherently believable like Vanessa. You’ll need to set some time apart to inhale this heady intense cocktail of a novel.  

[hollowcrovvn]

The Ostensive Fumblings of Being Human (part 3)

Pairing: Connor x female!reader Rating: T (please note rating change) Summary: Set two months after the ending of Detroit: Become Human, androids are living in government created “pop-up” communities while efforts are being made to integrate them into society. You are a grad-student volunteer with the Detroit Crisis Response Unit (DCRU), working to help with relief efforts. And now, finally it’s time for that coffee.

Notes: Disclaimer: I am obsessed with Machiavelli so it was only a matter of time before I threw him in here. And by obsessed I mean I loathe most of his points of view and like some of them. It's a love-hate thing. One of my first “date questions” is always on Machiavelli and I feel like it is very relevant given the upheaval and changes in the “government” in the end of the game as a result of the revolution.Though his bit on Moses is making me have all the Markus-needs-to-eventually-appear inklings. (part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6) (part 7) (ao3)

It had started as just a regular conversation on interests, tucked in the back of the coffee shop where there were nice sleek couches to lounge in, but had divulged into an intense debate on one of the most important topics of the past-- Kindles.

“Okay. The world treated eReaders like the devil in the early 2010s. Now? Can barely find a printed book anywhere.”

“Which has cut down on mass deforestation since paper is no longer in high demand.” Connor noted, playing devil’s advocate so perfectly it was enough to make a conflict addicted girl swoon.

“Exactly! So why all the fuss back when? Cause of some preoccupation with nostalgia ? Even now you got guys like Hank who bemoan the loss of paperbacks, as if we’re all gonna forget how to read in the meanwhile.”

Connor smiled and reached out, plucking the sleeve of your jacket aka the remake of the 2003 Canada Goose brand. He sat back, looking pleased with himself as you grumbled into your second latte. Granted, it hardly looked like coffee at all but more like chocolate milk with the amount of creamer you’d had them use. You’d refused to order your usual, to Connor’s chagrin. He had not yet it seemed formed an opinion to what your actual favorite was.

“It’s different! They responsibly source the materials for those coats now.” you insisted, but Connor only smiled and smiled, refusing to concede to your point. As if he had any room to talk. This man had at least four different styles, alternating between professional, casual professional, street  and hipster circa 2010. He mixed them sometimes to interesting effects. You were pretty sure he spent the majority of his paycheck on clothes.Then again, after spending most of his life being forced to wear the same damn android branded attire, you could hardly blame his enthusiasm.

“One could argue the shift to electronics however, is contributing to the climate change phenomenon.” Connor added, picking up the paperback book in question that had started this conversation. It was one of Hank’s, which was shocking. The Prince by Machiavelli. You half wondered if it was meant to be a joke on Connor’s expense or if Hank had actually recommended something halfway decent, if not a bit pessimistic, for the Android to learn about.

You huffed, “So we’re killing the planet no matter what. Great. Cheery. I need another coffee.”

Connor’s LED whirled, blinking before settling a solid blue. “Your pulse is elevated to 97 beats per minute and your blood pressure has raised by 8 and 6 points in systolic and diastolic blood pressure, respectively. I would advise switching to water.”

“How do you know that's from the caffeine and not your innate magnetism .” you said, trying to lower your voice to a “sultry” level, but only managing to laugh.

“That would be highly improbable. I emit no traceable magnetic fields.”

Then the mother fucker winked .

You had begun to realize the parts of his personality you thought were intentional deadpan humor, were in fact, just deadpan facts. That one though? Definitely intentional . He picked up the book, thumbing open the pages that were dogeared and worn.

“Published in 1532, a political treatise by Italian diplomat and political-theorist, Niccolo Machiavelli. Considered one of the first books of modern philosophy, it’s topics range from human nature, military prowess, governments and history.”

He flipped to a specific page that you could tell had been once been highlighted and circled several times, now faded with time. Once upon a time, maybe Hank had noted it.

“Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel.” he read aloud, perfect and clear. You shut your eyes and listened.

“Every one sees what you appear to be, few--” he stopped abruptly, drawing your attention upward. He swallowed, his throat bobbing, “Few... really know what you are.”

His LED flickered yellow for a few seconds and then faded back to blue. You didn't really have the heart to tell him the quote was being taken wildly out of context, because it fit too well. It spoke to him. Let it mean what he wanted it to mean.

“This should be a very interesting read. Have you read it?” he asked, turning to the beginning of the book.

“Oh yeah, me and about 100 other people in PHI 1100. “Contemporary Moral Issues”. After I limped my way through the introductory course, I managed to do somewhat decent there.”

“Do you enjoy philosophy?”

“I tolerate it. Barely. With clenched teeth. I think it’s all well and good to “feed your mind” as Dolce would say, as long as your stomach is full. That’s not a common thing for the poor though so philosophy has always seemed to me as… well, a rich-man’s way to kill time.”

You swished the remaining dregs of your latte around in the bottom of your cup.

“I think it’s real easy to sit on high telling people they need to think of this, or that when you don’t have to worry about where your next meal is coming from.”

Connor gave a wry smile, “Then it is a good thing I don’t eat. I will need to read a few more selections before I form a more in depth opinion.”

“Knock yourself out, hipster. I’ll send you all my ebooks I had to get for the classes if you want.”

He perked up, the LED on his temple spiraling.

“My designation code should appear now on your phone for upload.” he said with excitement. His eyes held onto yours patiently, the intensity of it making you flounder, quickly grabbing your phone. Sure enough there was a message that a “RK800” unit was attempting to sync to your device.

[ allow synchronization? y/n? ]

You clicked yes and watched as the phone took on a mind of its own, files opening and flipping at rapid speed until it settled upon your digital library. You set the phone down carefully, eyes flicking between Connor and the device. He had that same far away look Josh got when accessing the web. It took only a few seconds before your phone flashed the words the same time Connor spoke them,

“Upload completed. Thank you, reading these should be very…” he paused, “Fun.”

“And I thought I needed to get out more.” you said, enjoying the bright look of wonder on Connor’s face as his eyes flickered back and forth, clearly already browsing the new selection.

“It doesn’t bother you, does it?” he said, tilting his head, “I should have clarified if you meant to send them now.”

“It’s definitely gonna take some getting use to if you make a habit of connecting to my phone, but nah, it doesn’t bother me.” you said, but Connor still looked skeptical so you continued,  “I’m a little jealous to be honest, woulda made reading those bricks easier if I knew you three years ago.”

“It is very efficient. However, no more so than any other academic assistant android you could have purchased then.”

You felt a twist in your chest at the way he said “purchased” so easily when you could tell by the faint grimace on his face that the idea was as disturbing now to him as a “deviant” as it was to you.

“I meant like a classmate,” you quickly added, “Like the way we are now.”

“You study urban planning, not philosophy. Perhaps I should browse those texts as well so we can have more “classmate” simulate conversations.” he said, tilting his head to the other side as if considering the idea further.

“We can always talk about you.” you said, “What do you like?”

His head tilted slightly further, he almost looked like a puppy when he did that, brown eyes soft and always, always curious.

“I enjoy solving cases with Hank-- Lieutenant Anderson. I enjoy calibrating my reflex drive with coin tricks. I like talking with--”

You held up a hand, “Whoa whoa, back up! Coin tricks?!”

Your sudden enthusiasm seemed to take him off guard, but within a moment he produced a quarter from his pocket. He let it slowly walk across his knuckles one way and then faster backwards. You watched, rapt in attention and smiling bright.

“What else?!” you asked and Connor gave a lopsided smile, standing up.

“I need a bit more room for this one. Okay. So-- first you flip.” he said and did so, flipping the coin up once in the air, “And then--”

He flicked it so fast from one hand directly into the other that you almost missed it. Your entire face broke open, “Ooooohh my god! Do that again!”

He was more than happy to oblige, this time flicking the coin back rapidly and then ending by catching it between two fingers.

“Okay you have got to teach that one to me.”

“I’m not sure if you’d be able to get it without a lot of practice, but-- here.” he took your hand in his, carefully directing you to hold your fingers in a scissor shape the way he had. His eyes were intensely focused as he moved you exactly where he needed, carefully stepping behind you and placing his hands on your hips.

“Stand a bit more grounded.”

He nudged your shoe with his and you complied, hoping he wasn’t registering the heat rising up in your face. Was he holding on just a bit longer than was really even needed? A bit tighter? You could just barely feel the brush of his shirt at your back, leaning towards it.

“Don’t move.” he said, a soft command. You stood back up straight.

He came around to stand at your side, not even noticing the small gathering of people who were now watching the pair of you.

“Alright. Ready?”

You nodded.

“Just... hold… still.”

He paused, LED whirling for a moment before he flicked the coin and it found itself, trapped perfectly between your index and middle finger. You all but squealed, laughing with unbridled delight.

“That was so freakin’ cool! Can we do it again?”

But before Connor could take the coin from you, a man pushed over to the sitting area and scowled.

“Hey. No fuckin’ tin-can’s. Did you not see the sign lady?”

You were caught off guard, but Connor immediately straightened.

“Sign? There aren’t anymore signs.” you said, remembering that there was no tell tale red sign with a blue triangle issuing that androids were not allowed when you entered.

“There should be. There was. Now we gotta deal with these plastic freaks acting like they own the damn city.”

He looked Connor up and down with measured disgust, eyes lingering on the LED that was quickly flashing yellow.

“You should keep your pet at home.” the man continued, “You don’t see people bringing their dogs where others eat.”

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to please return to your table.” Connor’s voice was more mechanical than you had heard it before, measured and even, despite the yellow light flickering.

“I detect levels of ethanol on your breath. A bit early for a nightcap, isn’t it?” Connor continued and the man’s expression switched quickly to shocked and then pissed.

“Keep your fuckin’ eyes off me, freak.” he said, shoving Connor, who did not even move a fraction. “Public intoxication is a misdemeanor under Section 750.168 of the Michigan penal code. I advise you take your coffee home, sir, and sober up .” Connor said, standing up way too far into this guy’s space to be mistaken for anything but an invitation that said, Hit me, do it. I dare you.

You moved forward, quickly slipping your arm between the two men, curling it around Connor’s abdomen. You slid your entire body between them, the asshole guy stepping back.

“Hey, he’s a cop . See?” you pushed aside Connor’s jacket, displaying the DPD badge on his hip.

“You wanna add assaulting an officer to that rap sheet he’s already typing up from his head?”

The guy noted the badge and despite his initial aggression, he took a step back.

“Whatever, bitch.”

You sighed, relieved he was backing off, until Connor lurched forward from behind you. You spun around, pushing your palms flat against his chest. He didn’t resist you, but he didn’t take his eyes off the guy either.

“Apologize to her.” he said, each word punctuated with rigid coldness, LED flashing red.

“Fuck you and your plastic-fuckin’ girlfriend.”

“Hey!” a voice drew all three of your attention up to a barista wearing a different uniform than the others, designating her a manager, “How about you all take a breather somewhere else before I call the real cops?”

“Fine.” you said, pushing back at Connor who had stepped forward again trying to outmaneuver you.

“It’s a nice sunny day and I’m not a fan of the smell of shit and espresso.” you said, giving the guy a glare of your own. You took Connor’s hand, ignoring any comments from anyone else as you headed out the door. Connor didn’t fight you, but walked briskly away from the coffee shop to the point it was now like he was leading you.

His grip was tight, unrelenting. His LED was still a vivid circle of red. Once you were far enough away, you dug your heels in and released his hand. He stopped, but still held on. He snapped his eyes to yours, looking confused and just so-- lost. Like he wasn’t even sure where he was or where he was going.

You didn’t even know where to start.

“… Connor, I am so sorry.”

What else could you say? You were the stupid one who invited him there. His brows furrowed tightly, anger still twitching in his lips as he shook his head.

“Don’t.” he said, voice strained, “Don’t apologize for them .”

His jaw was tight, working and unclenching. He was rubbing your hand in his own, a tick similar to his coin. People walked around you as you both were standing in the middle of the sidewalk, giving Connor nervous glances as they passed. He noticed finally and stepped to the side, filing into an empty alley facing the street.

“I need a minute.” he said, his pulmonary functions attempting to slow. You stepped closer, reaching up to gently touch his back. You stroked up once.

“Of course, just… take all the time you need.”

He was tense, every carbon fiber cord in his body ready to respond, to act. His LED began flickering, slowly turning yellow and holding.

“It’s becoming more common.” he said, disappointment evident in his voice.

“I’d say it was always common, people feeling safe to express their stupidity has just gotten worse.”

“Not that.” he said, sighing, “My… temper. Hank says I have a temper .”

A deviant android with a quick fuse, that wasn’t entirely unheard of, but yet Connor seemed disturbed more so by his own behavior than the other guys.

“I detected a significant jump in your pulse and breathing rate. You were upset. I upset you.” Connor said, going to release your hand. You snapped it back up before he could, squeezing tight.

“Connor. Look at me.”

He did.

“I wasn’t upset because of you, I was upset for you.” you said, searching his eyes, making sure you confirmed his understanding before you continued, “That guy was being a grade A dickhead and I… I made you show me those tricks and it just drew all that attention to you. It’s dumb and it’s unfair , but I should have known better.”

“I wanted to show you.” Connor said, insistent, “I knew it would make you smile. I… like that. When you were asking what I like. I like receiving positive feedback from you. It’s very informative.”

That got a laugh from you, quiet and resigned.

“Like that. I don’t know how I got you to do that, but I’m attempting to work it out. So far the data has been inconsistent.”

“Really?” you said, “How so?”

“You laugh even when I am actually not trying to be humorous.” Connor said, as if you were a bit silly for not knowing.

“You’re a funny guy.”

“Hank would say otherwise.”

Connor’s LED had returned to blue, holding steady.

“Your temperature is dropping. You should be getting home so you can warm up.”

“No.” you said, grinning. This time when he furrowed his brow it was not as sharp.

“Your current core temperature is not a debatable subject, ---. You are at 97.9 degrees.”

You hummed, “So question. When you do that, are you scanning my entire body or just the surface temperature?”

Connor opened his mouth, thought better, and then it closed it. You swore if he could blush he would be. You inclined your head expectantly.

“What else does the scan pick up?” you asked, both curious and enjoying the look of semi-panic rushing over Connor’s features. The blue LED flickered just for a moment.

“I know that you have not eaten in the last four hours and will begin to feel hunger pains in approximately the next twenty to thirty minutes.” he stated matter-of-factly, “You have a healed fracture on your left ankle, most likely from rolling it sometime within the last two years. Also, your pupils dilate when you look at me, indicating that you find me aesthetically pleasing.”

“Ho-kay.” you said, interrupting him and snatching your hand back, “You had me at the beginning there, I’ll admit.”

“Did I successfully embarrass you, ---?” Connor said, putting his hands into his pockets and following after you with a renewed smugness.

“Um. That’s such cheating. I can’t control my pupils!”

“Of course. I understand it is not conscious. Besides. I was designed to be pleasing .”

“Yeah? Then I’m gonna need you to tell me where to file a product complaint.”

Connor laughed and it sounded so human it infected your own smile.

“”Hello, yes Cyberlife?”, you continued, using your hand to mimic a phone, “”Do you take constructive criticism? Because your RK800 model is becoming a royal pain in my ass.””

“I’ve never had a bad review in my life!” he asserted, placing a hand over his chest in mock offense.

“That’s because you’ve only been alive for seven months! God. You’re an infant. I am literally on a date with an infant.”

Your laughter subsided when you noted Connor was no longer part of the chorus, turning to look at him, you found his own eyes trailed on you with the barest of smiles.

“This has been… different. Good, but different.” he said, choosing the words carefully, “I’d like to do it again.”

“Yeah, yeah, you smug bastard. You probably already know I’m going to say “yes” by the micro expressions of my eyebrows or some crap.”

Your joke was cut short as Connor stepped forward, gingerly reaching up and letting his hand trace the side of your face, thumb rubbing in gentle circles for a moment over the spot right next to your brow. His eyes were hooded, intent.

“No. I don’t think I see anything.”

He was so close-- god damn him for being so close. You couldn’t read his face at all on whether he was being serious right now or was being a tease. The LED light on his temple gave nothing away in it’s blue aura.

“Wait...right there.”

You felt your breath catch.

“I detect the forming of premature wrinkles.”

“Oh, you asshole. ”

You swatted at him, but he was too fast, dodging out of range with a school boy grin.

“I’m freezing and I’m hungry and I think you need to go home and think about what you’ve done.” you said, crossing your arms against the frigid breeze.

“I told you all of those things a minute ago.” Connor said, returning to arms reach long enough to offer his hand in what you assumed was to be a handshake. You scoffed and submitted, letting him take your hand again lightly. He squeezed and let go.

“I’ll text you later.” he said, mirroring your own words. For a moment it almost felt so normal. Just a boy and a girl on a date. It hadn’t turned out to be what you expected, but that was something you were beginning to think you could live with.

“You better.”

When had it become so hard to concentrate? You rapt your stylus against your desk, oblivious to the crowd and the constant hum of conversation as people moved around the facility. You hadn’t heard back anything from Josh regarding the files you brought, in fact, you hadn’t seen an android inside the DCRU office in several days. You leaned back in your chair, hoping to catch a glimpse but instead found yourself looking right into the pencil skirt of London Fog-- aka your supervisor, Miranda.

“You interested in getting out of here?” she asked, curly brown hair tied back in a bun. You think she must been a librarian in a past life based on how she dressed. Nothing else would explain those cat eye glasses.

“Depends.” you said, voice wary. She laughed, because honestly you didn’t have too much choice in it.

“We’re doing a quick run through. We’ve gotten reports that there have been some break ins through the fence perimeter around the--” she stopped, trying to avoid the word “camp” like most people in charge. It was not a good connection to form.

“-- housing facilities. Just need to assess the damage and estimate cost. The androids asked specifically for the director to come, but she is busy elsewhere.” Miranda shrugged, “If I have an intern following me, I look more important!”

Ah, the director. Cinnamon dolce.

Knowing that there was not much more discussion to be had, you picked up your tablet and your coat.

“Where’s the damage?” you asked, voice weary.

“We’ve got a ride to the other side of the facility all lined up for us.” Miranda said, flicking through some documents and sending them to your tablet.

“It’ll be a good learning opportunity!”

Sure. Yay. Fence maintenance.

By the time you arrived it became very obvious that this was not some accidental damage or wear-and-tear, this was a full on someone-took-pliers-to-the-fence-and-cut-a-hole damage. You recognized Josh out of the crowd of humans and androids. He gave you a faint smile and then turned his attention to Miranda.

“Was it a break out?” she asked, earning a narrow look from Josh.

“We’re not prisoners here. Everyone knows they can come and go as they please.” Josh said, voice edged with warning.

“So break in?” Miranda said, confirming to herself. You flipped to the incident report she sent to your tablet and began to jot down notes.

“It would appear so. But nothing was taken. No one has seen anyone strange around the homes either.”

The “homes” for lack of a better word, were simple modular buildings, stacked in sets of three with outside stair railings. A few androids stood on said stairs, peering over the side down at them. The entire facility sat in an old parking lot formerly used by GM back in the late 2000s. It had been sitting vacant for years now and taken by the government for use in the re-homing process.

The modular homes were efficient, if not always “cozy”. The androids were able to file comfort requests, but you’d seen the stacks. It was hard to imagine it was easy to get much of anything, but it was safe . Safer than outside, where humans might attack an android on the street. Here there were soldiers and fences that were meant to keep the outside world out, not them in.

Markus would have not accepted anything less.

“I don’t like that. Have the military units informed to be looking for someone who doesn’t belong and pull any CCTV footage from this area.” Miranda said, stepping forward and examining the fence more closely.

“Tracks say three people!” a voice yelled from above. There was a young looking blond man, standing at the very top of the modular complex. He quickly made his way down, easily constructing a safe path to the ground.

Josh smiled with familiarity, taking the hand offered to him by the man warmly.

“When did you get back into the city?”

“A few days ago. Glad to be back though. D.C. is somehow even colder.”

Miranda turned her attention back towards the two men, greeting the newcomer with nothing more than a faint nod.

“Simon. You said three people?”

Simon nodded, pointing to a variety of spots that now showed traces of mud and slush disturbance.

“Three. They circled in, came this way…”

He moved ahead, heading behind the modular unit. There was a good fifteen feet between it’s back and the fence.

“Then this way. Stopped here, but then one set of tracks keeps going while the other two circle back.” Simon’s eyes narrowed, giving Josh a strange look.

“Something isn’t right. I smell--”

A flash. Blinding and loud. So loud that suddenly your ears were filled with unbearable ringing. You felt your feet lift from the ground, heat bursting across your skin. There were quick flicks of pain, as if a hail storm had pelted you. And then you found the ground again, hitting hard to the concrete as the ringing just kept on. Something heavy fell on your chest, knocking the wind from you.

Your vision blurred, arms shaking as you tried to find something, anything to hold onto to make the world stop spinning. Someone was ontop of you, arms curled around your frame. The smell of thirium and smoke was thick in your nostrils and when your vision came to, there was blue andJosh.

All cradled in a backdrop of red flames.

[superpooped]

Dealing with Quarantine (from an actual expert)

Hello!

Today’s post is for people who are having their first taste of isolation or quarantine and are feeling a bit overwhelmed.

There’s a lot of these going around, and although they can be useful (I have no idea about specific Corona-based medical practise or finance) they seem to be written by people who are generally out and about in the world.

No offence, but what you really need is a Professional. You need… A HOUSEBOUND PERSON!

And that’s where I come in.

For those of you that are new here, I have a condition where, amongst other things, my body doesn’t create energy like it should. My mitochondria are all messed up, so, as you can imagine, that has an impact on… everything.

I am too exhausted to leave the house, or sometimes my bed. So I’ve been cared for by my lovely family for seven and a half years, and have been housebound for the last five and a half.

By now, I’m an old hand at this, so I’ll be able to help you out with some of the lesser known issues that people without that half a decade of experience just can’t tell you.

Some of this may seem strange or contradictory in places, but I don’t make the rules. This is how it is.

Choice makes a difference

You’re probably learning (or about to learn) that the one thing that makes a difference as to whether doing something or not is fun is Choice.

The number of times I’ve had someone say to me “it must be so nice to be at home all the time” is ridiculous.

The person saying it is thinking of the fun type of staying at home, where you decide to have a duvet day and watch movies and eat toast in your pants.

But now people are being faced with the less fun kind. The kind where you can’t leave.

Staying at home because you want to… fun. Staying at home because of Doom Plague Potential… not fun. (Also, bagsy “Doom Plague Potential” as a band name.)

It’s tough being uncertain when you’re going to see people, do things or get on with your life, but…

If you think about it, you are making a choice. You’re making the choice to put your health first. That’s sensible.

And if you’re careful with others who are more at risk then you’re making the choice to be kind. That’s even better.

You can do it

I’m not even meaning this in an inspirational quote sense, you can actually do this. It may be tricky, but if I can last half a decade in my house, you can last a couple of weeks, or even a couple of months.

If you’re actually sick then make sure you have people who can check up on you via the internet or phone if not in person. Seek medical attention where necessary.

Otherwise…

The Internet exists - embrace it

All that “put down your phone and live in the REAL WORLD” stuff is about to become a load of cobblers.

You will feel lonely, the Internet is a great tool to prevent that, so embrace it.

Group chats, social media, and video chats make a MASSIVE difference in the lives of people stuck at home, so utilise that.

Even when you’re watching tv, have a group chat of mates watching the same thing and talk about it as if you’re all there together. Because you are... kind of.

You can also contact plenty of mental healthcare professionals over the internet (or phone) if you feel that’s something you need. Don’t be afraid to reach out. There are people available.

The Internet isn’t real

At the same time as the internet being an amazing tool and opportunity for social interaction, it’s important to remember that it’s not a complete experience of the world.

It seems obvious when you’re able to leave the house, but it will quickly become clear that things start to feel a bit more skewed without the regular interaction of polite (or not so polite) strangers in everyday life.

Things will seem more polarised and polarising, and specific, potentially small things may seem extremely important. That’s normal, just... bear it in mind and take a deep breath before reacting to things.

TV, Radio, Things to do!

If you, unlike me, are at home as a precautionary measure instead of long term health condition you can probably do things. Hooray!

Right now that is less than you're used to, and BELIEVE ME I know that feel, bro, but you can still do things and that’s wonderful.

Imagining a lengthy period where you’re stuck at home sounds awful, but imagine it without TV, books or the internet. Or crafts. Or DIY. Or the ability to clean your clothes or yourself.

I’m trying really hard not to play the “be grateful” card here, because people have said it to me despite me struggling (or being completely unable) to do any of those things and it made me want to bite them. But also... you can likely do those things. So maybe this is the point where all those trite inspiration memes come in handy and you can embrace the things you can do.

Unless you are sick, in which case, for the love of all that is holy, do not do the things.

Stay in bed. Drink fluids. Have people check in on you as safely as possible. Resist the urge to get up and make your body fight harder than it is, because that will not help you.

Trust me, despite all those “you can do anything if you BELIEVE” quotes, it’s not strong or clever to push your body when it’s struggling. You will just use up energy your body could be using to heal you. Take it from the sick person.

Stay in bed till you feel better, and then a bit longer, just to make sure.

And resist the urge to go out in public and rub your germy self onto various surfaces.

You will come to love your Postie/Courier.

Oh, those kind humans who strive through wind and gale to bring us parcels and food, and most importantly, contact with the outside world.

A face! A new face! Possibly some small talk. You never knew that was a thing you could miss before this moment.

Will you potentially feel the need to disinfect everything you get in the post? Possibly. Will you be ever so glad to see someone who doesn’t live in your house or flat? Most definitely.

They must be protected for they are the keepers of the parcels.

Time will lose all meaning.

The only thing I can reliably liken it to is that weird week between Christmas and New Year where you don’t know what day, time or year it is. Or why you’re covered in biscuit crumbs.

If you don’t celebrate these events and have have no prior experience in this weird time warp... I’m sorry. Things are about to get real.

I genuinely forget my own age at this point.

Keep to a regular schedule.

You’re going to re-enter the world at some point but that’s going to be difficult if your schedule is all messed up.

Keeping to a normal(ish) schedule will also mean you’re more likely to sleep better, which will be handy if you do actually get sick.

If you’re going to be working from home then you’re probably going to have to use alarms to get you to do anything because otherwise you will look up and it’s three in the afternoon, you’ve done nothing and you’re still in your jim-jams.

(To be fair, if you want to work in your jim-jams that’s a totally valid choice.)

Try to stick to specific working hours if you can. It’s much easier to switch off your mind from work worries when you’ve got commute time in the middle, so having set hours or a signal to yourself (like changing clothes) that the work day is over will help you wind down a bit easier. I remember that much from my healthy freelance days.

Exercise?

I imagine that if you’re housebound without being sick you’re probably going to have a ton of pent up energy.

I’ll admit I’m completely guessing here, because energy is quite literally what my body is rubbish at producing so exercising makes me worse, which is why I’m stuck in my house unable to do anything in the first place.

Looking back at those heady years before I got sick, however, I would get pretty restless being stuck inside during that weird post-Christmas week, so it’s probably good to try and exercise some of that off.

Stretches, yoga, kick a football about in the garden. Whatever floats your boat.

You’ll probably sleep better and it’s good for releasing endorphins too.

Again, if you’re sick, don’t do this. Just don’t. Coronavirus targets your respiratory system so nobody wants you to be doing star jumps like a muppet. Go lie down.

Touch withdrawal

If you live on your own, or even if people inside your house are avoiding contact to prevent potential contamination you may experience mild touch withdrawal. I don’t know if that’s an official term, but that��s what I’m calling it.

You can counter this with:

Blankets, duvets, or weighted blankets

There’s a reason people are given shock blankets after trauma, and that’s to simulate a hug and release the associated endorphins. Having a blanket, duvet or weighted blanket around you will do that same thing.

Pets

Having access to a furry (or scaly or feathered) friend will help with loneliness and touch withdrawal. A lot of them will be loving the chance to spend more time with you.

ASMR

I’ve had people tell me that ASMR videos help them with loneliness and touch withdrawal.

ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response and is basically a tingly feeling of calm and being cared for that a person can experience when watching or listening to certain triggers.

YouTube is full of people tapping on bottles and turning books pages, and it can be really useful.

I was a bit dubious to begin with, but honestly the ones where the person pretends to cut your hair make me into a giant pile of goop.

Not the same as long term isolation

This is going to pass. You will be able to leave the house again, and it will be relatively soon.

When it does, please be respectful of those who are still here.

Yes, a two week quarantine might give you a tiny glimpse into what it’s like to be housebound, but it won’t make you an expert in long term isolation due to illness or disability. That’s a whole other ball game.

Please do not equate the two, because it honestly feels a randomer in a bar who has spent two minutes thinking on a topic telling you about something you have a doctorate in.

Coronavirus is scary, and quarantine or self-isolation is not something you’re used to but it is temporary.

Finally

If disabled or sick people are getting salty on the internet it’s because they have reason to be.

A lot of us have been stuck like this for years or even decades, and many of the options that would make things much more accessible for us have only magically become possible now there’s a threat to the general, abled population.

It doesn’t help that lots of people are trotting out the old “it’s only the old and sick who are in danger”. Thanks for that, mate. So glad that it’s only us sickies (and oldies) who might die and not the important, useful people that are in danger.

Many of us do not have that light at the end of the tunnel when we can leave the house and just get on with our lives. I have no idea when or if I will be able to rejoin society fully, or even partly. And I just have to get on with it.

So take this opportunity to be a little more mindful of those people.

I do hope this helps people who are nervous about being isolated. Keep calm. It will be alright.

Originally posted on superpooped.blogspot.com

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2010s: 15 - 11

15. Ieva Zasimauskaitė - “When we’re old” Lithuania 2018

[2018 Review here]

~wen wir owld HOOOOOOOOOOOO~

So close to the endgame it’s time to open all of the emotional registers. Much like Hovi, I did not expect to love Ieva as much as I do, however unlike Hovi I had already fully embraced Ieva and “When we’re old” long before rehearsals started.

And for good reason because Ieva fucking disarms me every time without fail. She herself is of course a hilarious, relatably weirdo indie girl, this time in the guise of a Born Again Hindu who ~FELT A COSMIC PRESENCE~ on the stage with her. 😍 Telling the true story of how she overcame depression by falling in love with her hubby. Flanked by holograms that project Ieva’s life dream: to be happy and grow old with the love of her life. All my hopeless romantic triggers are activated by this song. ALL OF THEM.

People are generally divided on Ieva’s voice, but um hello welcome to BorisBubbles. I ranked Nina Kralic and Jana Burcheska hellow-high. I LOVE Ieva’s husky, nasal, ovine, falsetto whine of a voice. It makes “When we’re old” for me. Ieva injects so much vulnerability and authenticity into a song that whenever she performs it, all I can do is sit in silence, tears welling up in my eyes, bleating along with the WHAOHHHHHs. Time truly stands still during “When we’re old” and I’m speechless.

________________________________________________________________

14. Conchita Wurst - “Rise like a phoenix” Austria 2014

You can be damn’ sure the highest ranked powerballad on this list is “Rise like a phoenix”. It isn’t as much as a song as it is an INSTITUTION. 

Which is why, symbollically, “Phoenix” is a very important winner. It’s a plight for overcoming hate, for overcoming bullying, from being yourself in the face and of adversity and rising from the ashes reborn, reinvented, reinvigorated. Its presentation is provocative, yet secondary, putting vocals and song on the foreground. It is rooted in the political zeitgeist of its winners, like most modern winners, obviously, 

however, ask yourself this:

Would “Phoenix” have won if it hadn’t been a great performance of a great song? 

I don’t think it would have. Take away the powerful composition and leave just the politically correct message, and you get Bilal Hassani. Take away the beard and you have, well, a really good song bond theme by a talented vocalist, that probably would’ve finished top ten, if not top five in most years. 

It’s easy to get distracted by Tom’s stick because a “Bearded drag queen” provides a lot of cognitive dissonance, which I personally love because it forces me to think, keeping my mind sharp. The use of a gimmick does NOT cheapen the talent on display here, however. Tom’s delivery of the song is flawless, hitting every note, delivering both ‘feminine’ nuturing comfort and ‘masculine’ strength to his glorious song. He even throws in some small nuggets of fierceness, providing levity, reminding us of Conchita’s drag queen roots

The act is cut from the same professional cloth; it is maybe a tad provocative, but at it’s core it remains dignified and classy, maintaining a moral high ground that instantly sheds a bad light on any hater. You may pull her down, but she’s gonna FLYYYYY.

Conchita Wurst is the best winner of this decade, period. No winning performance is as ironclad, vocally, musically or stagingwise as hers. No other winner has shown as much raw performance talent as she has. No winner has been able to make such a statement while at their core maintaining a high-quality musical standard. No winner has been such a champion of those whose voices are trampled for being different. To use Conchita’s own words after she won: “WE ARE UNITY. AND *WE* ARE UNSTOPPABLE.” 

________________________________________________________________

13. Zlata Ognevich - “Gravity” Ukraine 2013

This is the last female fronted act from 2013, you know what that means: EPIC ENTRANCE TIME 😍

What a beautiful dreamscape. I felt bad ranking Elina Nechayeva in a fairly low 39th place, but honestly, “Gravity” vibes very similarly and does the same things a lot better: Breathtakingly regal woman, a mirage of near-divine grace, stunning visual effects... SIGN ME UP ALREADY. At the core we of course find Zlata, the winner of the Best Human Award in 2013. Zlata’s backstage bits were rife with personality facts that instantly endeared her to me. A praraphrased selection from her infinitely quotable interview gold: ”I PRACTICE BIG VOICE BY HOLDING BREATH UNDERWATER”; “I COME FROM PLACE IT’S CALLED CRIMEA, IS LARGE ::reads from online dictionary:: PEN...EEN...SYOO..LA(?) WITH BIG MOUNTAIN AND LARGE SEA ^_^”; “I LOVE UNICORN IS FAVOURITE ANIMAL”. GODDESS. 😍

Fortunately her overpoweringly loud, yet disarmingly weird personality is also omnipresent during her big screen performance. “Gravity” is a mirage of Disney mojo and Zlata absolutely fucking hits it like A SHTRIKE OF DUNDAR

I don’t think I’ve ever listened to a song that is legit quotable at every interval? There is not a single line in “Gravity” that doesn’t bring out the bedroom karaoke: “IMMA LIIIKA BADDERFLYYYYY.” “NOTHING COMES FROM PRIDE, -*HAYLALE*” “NOW I FEEL NO FEEEEE-AAAAAAR.“

And I’m not even done because Gravity ALSO features an excellent backing choir (the male backing vocalist is incredible). It’s just a perfect example of world music, conjuring three minutes of pure, unicorn-endorsed magic. IMMA LIIIKE A BADDERFLYYYYY. 🦋

________________________________________________________________

12. Juliana Pasha - “It’s all about you” Albania 2010

YUARDAWAN 😀 YUGIMMEDATSAMTINANEED 😀 ITZMI 😀 ENDAMFOLIN 😀

We are at #12, which means we’re at that Olympian milestone where every entity ranked is a fucking supernatural force. In Juliana’s case a forced of pure, unfiltered, streechy harpism. 😍 It is so weird to think that she was the first of Albania’s now iconic ‘Shrieking Boss Hag” archetype because it feels like a alliance older than time, sealed and styled in cuneiform onto a shard of Sumerian pottery, blessed by the Annunaki and then embedded into the muddy banks of the Euphrates. 

Anyway, Juliana earned my HEART once she greeted us with her uncanny-valleyesque diction and cheshire-catesque leering, all YUARDAWAN! and proceeded to throw everything, both vocally and facialexpressionly, into the mix, in ascending degrees of deafening loudness. 😍

With a criminally addictive electronic schlager song too boot! One which, like Zlata features an INCREDIBLE supporting cast in a bangin’ gospel choir, as well as a very generous dollop of ❤ ELECTRONIC VIOLA REALNESS ❤

One of the fave musicians of NaziPope, btw. “It’s all about you” is such a Triumpf of the Shrill. 😍

Anyway, this high quality list of ingredients make for a very replayable ride that never spoils or grows stale, no matter how often I listen to it. Which is actually a lot. I’ve looped “It’s all about you” at countless occasions since 2010, making it perhaps the song on this list that I have to the MOST often. (Or second most because there IS a song I still have to rank that may challenge Juliana for that title.) If that ain’t a hallmark for quality, I don’t know what is. 

________________________________________________________________

11. Koza Mostra ft. Agathonas Iakovidis - “Alcohol is free” Greece 2013

Has life been letting you down? Have you been struck by a financial crisis? Do you no longer know how to continue living. Fear not, because :cracks knuckles: we are about to embark on a MASTERCLASS of unabashed drunken REVELRY:

Um a small disclaimer though. This song has a really really, really, REALLY irresponsible title. DO NOT at any circumstance use alcohol as a coping mechanism, engage in drunk driving or other activities under influence that you may life to regret later, if you live to regret it later. Also don’t drink if you’re underage. Also also, alcohol can cause obesity and cardio-vascular arrest. and cancer, possibly. Drink, but do so RESPONSIBLY. 

HOWEVER, what if this song is... a PSA???😈 An Anti-Crisis PSA that is, lol. A group of folk hipsters literally PARTYING AWAY the misery of the financial crisis in a delightfully self-deprecating fashion is just the pinacle of fun for me and Koza Mostra fucking ROLL with it. Watching them dart out in all wind directions, interacting with each other gives me LIFE.

It’s exactly that sort of industriousness which sets “Alcohol is free” apart from other party songs. There is a LOT of randomness going on in the background and it gives you ZERO time to process all of it, making every rewatch an easter egg hunt.

This approach to staging usually doesn’t work, but here it is actually very intelligent and I’ll explain why: The act places a lot of focus on Agathonas (which it should because he’s the lead singer despite his featured status), but by the same token offers constant distraction by all the Koza Mostra shenanigans in the background...  In other words, it’s an act that forces your attention away from the main event by confusing your senses, requesting all of you concentration keep up with everything that’s going on... which is actually a brilliantly accurate simulation of how 'being drunk’ works.

(btw if you listen closely you can hear the sound of Agathonas tapping his skull lol <3)

So the next time you listen to this song, pour yourself a drink (ONE drink!) sit back and embark on a Waldo-esque hunt to see how many beautiful nuggets you can find hidden in that splendid act, as the upbeat sirtaki madness fills your head with cloudy thoughts. As far as I’m concerned, Koza Mostra have WON the Eurovision Fun Contest. 

EVERYONE RISE AND APPLAUD THE  10 BEST ENTRIES IN THIS DECADE:

From now on, I’ll only include maximum 2 songs per update :o

And in this update we finally say goodbye to Greece, Albania, Ukraine, Austria and Lithuania. Read my thoughts on them, below:

LITHUANIA

Lithuania was hands down the worst country in the 00s and look at their chart now. They are slowly getting their shit together and it shows. Keep on going, darlings!!

AUSTRIA

God Austria are so boring. At least they occasionally provide us with a great entry here or there, but they’re so inconsistent in their entertainment. 2 great - 6 okay - 1 terrible is NOT a great ratio by any means. 

UKRAINE

ALBANIA

Albania are very hit-or-miss, but I really like their presence in Eurovision actually. Like Georgia they entries are so left-field that they are always *interesting* even when they’re not good. Except “Fairytale”. Fuck “Fairytale”.

GREECE

Fuck this decade was ROUGH for Greece. They are a shattered nation and if you think this chart is bad, let me remind you that their best result in the past five contests is 19th place. Same in fact, as San Marino’s highest and lower than the highest placements of Albania, Montenegro, Slovenia, UK, Ireland, North Macedonia,...

[randomlerson75]

Stuff people at my high school have said or done

• “I’ll just pretend I broke my ankle. I’ll limp a little”

• “You’re face doesn’t even have many bones”

• “Do you wipe your ass with your fingers”

• “I look cute though so I’m saving it”

• “They’re not dirty minded they just have a sexy brain”

• “This is not a good situation now. I’m not happy”

• *sleeping in class and randomly screams* “STOP!!!”

• “I’m coloring my weed symbol”

• “I stretch pretty violently I’m sorry”

• “I look like I’m more full of life than you”

•”I’m a good person” “haha ok”

• “I’m gonna round it to the nearest 11”

• “You don’t always have to swallow”

• “What a fucking time to be alive”

• “why are you harissing me”

• “That’s why you turn around and punch him in the face”. “I don’t have time”

• “You are the highest grade”

• “Does it taste normal”. “No it tastes good”

• “Why are we all up in this cold ass blueberry”

• “The sun can’t be that hot”

• “I could have overreached but that would make me stupid”

• “I’m all muscle bro, it’s tight on me”

• ”I’m a stripper that’s how I make my money”

• “You’re my mom” *talking to the teacher*

• “Are you high” “just get it off”

• *laughs normally* “you sound like a pedophile”

• “Pinkie ring until I roll”

• *about to jump off a cliff in a video for free diving* “push her”

• “Capitalism is ok”

• “It’s so funny how you can be alive one second and dead the next”

• “Change the m in marijuana to a j. Jarijuana”

• *teacher puts desk in the hallway*

• “He smoked water”

• “You can’t speak Latin” “Can you?”

• “May I acquire a pencil” “yes you may” “have a blessed day”

• “I’m going to write a book about how depressed I am”

• “God has forsaken me”

• *girls trying to stab each other with scissors*

• “I got a pretty long weenus. It looks like a penis”

• “My skeleton is twerking”

• *draws a skeleton twerking* “this is why it’s fun to learn art”

• “Why does he have eye holes?” “He’s a skeleton”

• “Don’t get my businesses ”

• “YOU ARE A WHORE”

• “love is so good”

• “Happy 17th day of birth”

• “You know it’s cold when you walk outside and it’s cold

• “why are you smiling like a creep Jess?” “That’s my normal face”

• “I’m living my best life, right here right now”

• *About thirty kids doing nothing but snapping*

• “Yes, I am very racist about smart boards”

• “I used to be like ;) but now I’m like :|”

• “Physically I’m here but mentally I’m still at home”

• “Emotions are like hurricanes. They never go where they are suppose too”

• “it took me a whole 27 minutes”

• “I would pay for the fire alarm to go off again”

• “Why did we get such a gay name like Florence”

• “this is my dad” *points to Albert Einstein

• *A REAL debate on wether to rip the clippy part off of mechanical pencils*

• “Not gonna lie. I grinded a friends marathon this weekend”

• “FINISH THE TEA”

• “You should know to never mess with another persons tech deck”

• “She has a thing against white people even though she’s white”

• “Speak of the devil. All white, what a fright”

• “You are a children”

• “You think a bull in a china shop? How about a bomb in a restaurant”

• “Me do”

• “I cheesed myself”

• “I never said I was going to jump you at Bojangles”

• “Knitting is VERY fun”

• “I’m not good enough, I’m great enough”

• “North Korea, South Korea, Same thing”

• *drops pencil* “NOOOOOOOOO”

• *light flickers* “excuse you”

• “You can make Australia bigger?”

• “Why don’t we burn people at the stake anymore for doing crimes. It was proven very effective”

• “It’s like I went into the pits of hell”

• “Can I borrow her crutches” “She has a lot”

• “You have arms?”

• “I was born thick”

• “I wasn’t sick I was drunk”

• “be a good person. Go go go”

• “Lotion and ravioli”

• “It smells like weed in here”

• “F*ck oxygen”

• “bring it back tomorrow or you die”

• “Tables are for glasses, not asses”

• “Stick it in between her boobs”

• “A lot of religions end in ism” “Christianiaism”

• “I just want someone to snort my ashes. That would be cool. Mix it with a little cocaine”

• “The United States of Australia”

• “Clark Kent who. I’m kidding, that’s not even Spider-Man”

• “Mental cheese”

• “Your blood is not supposed to make whistling noises”

• “Who sleeps on a Friday night”

• “A whole ass race”

• “that’s a sexy button” “I know right”

• *Screams* “and....”

• “Judaism is neither a religion or race”

• “Have you ever met someone and thought ‘wow. I would feel no remorse killing you’”

•“I hate this school with a burning passion”

•“Beep beep in your seats”

•“What is wrong with the world? The simulation is breaking”

•“What if we’re each other’s dad”

•“You use mental gymnastics to get around your head and get what you want”

•”You can’t just roll up to North Korea. You have to beat me in bingo”

•*teachers wear a dress and played despacito on the trumpet*

• “He’s a stingy boi”

• “A for anarchy? Dude i wish”

• “shut up I’m choking”

• “The snack the smiles back” “GOLDFISH!!!”

• “Where’s the pointy boi?” “I don’t know. I have the thick boi”

• “Dude. Fish can’t talk”

• “Stop taking my eraser” “it’s a ruler” “it can be whatever it wants to be”

• “A female vacuum is attractive”

• “I can love you but not like you”

• “I am mother gothel mentally, physically and spiritually

• “Mother gothel is my religion”

• “IM GETTING A COW!!!!”

• “It’s like Leonardo Da’Vinchi but instead it’s Leonardo Decaprio”

• “I wish I had some crippling disease. Schizophrenia would be nice”

• “I’m gonna kill someone for the rush of adrenaline I’ll get. I’ll get pumped, then I’ll work out”

• “Should I become an important political figure”

• “My cats might have eaten him”

• “Who else is trying to overthrow the government”

• “Where’s our kid?” “He looked at me funny and I had to teach him a lesson. I flushed him down the toilet”

• “I text Jesus all the time”

• “You are a saucy boi”

• “Your neck is really soft. Do you know that?”

• “Um. No professor. I don’t give a fuck”

• “Bro I look like a whole ass beetle”

• “You know? I’m definitely going to hell. But I’ve accepted that”

• “We need to go to the woods and have a collective cry”

• “Moths = whore”

• “Can we watch more food videos”

• “Just outlive the old people and health care prices can go back to normal”

• “Let’s just start the gladiator games again to handle population”

• “I’ll be Michael Phelps”

• “Don’t you just hate it when Nolan steps on your 69 Barbie head”

• “He’s so 20”

• “LITTLE BOY! WHERE ARE YOUR NIPPLES”

• “You guys disgust me”

• “I thought I had a good nights sleep but then I stood up and was like ‘oh no’”

• “you look better as an apple”

• “Why the fuck does it smell like weed in here. Mrs. Burch be blazing it up”

• “What is the coast of South Carolina growing” “Fish”

• “Why are we here on Halloween but not on Thanksgiving”

• “Even though I’m 18 I still might go trick or treating”

• “All minors should be allowed to trick or treat”

• “Tomorrow is not today, is it?”

• “ah yes, the glorious uno and dos”

• “I think Kanye is a crackhead”

• “Like. She’s not hideous”

• “Casserole and Gatorade?”

• “That’s what Google’s for girly”

• “this class has corrupted me”

• “You stepped on my fat”

• “What would Jesus do?”

• *Squeaks kazoo in anguish*

• “We’re going to watch a video about the depression” “weird, nobody has been following me around with cameras”

• “Approximately 50 minutes till ice cream”

• “Did you know heroin is not good for you?”

• “I have the constant need to fight myself and my demons”

• “what the hell?” “I know”

• “you are crack-a-lakin me up”

• “I have no muscles so what’s the point”

• “Flex on the legless”

• “didn’t that movie come out in November? Fifty shades of green?”

• *County music blares from another class down the hall*

• “I got a twin brother” “What’s his name” “Pj”

• “Keep the iPhone in your ear”

• “Super white red lipstick”

• “They just need a lot more dollars”

• “Don’t be like Anthony” “Isn’t he your son”

• “There’s a lot that needs to happen in the next.... today”

• *Plays bagpipe music walking down the hallway*

• “Say sorry to Billie Eilish”

• “We should make army merch”

• “Some of us have bitch lips”

• “Time is moco loco”

• “Alfred Adler sounds like Adolf Hitler”

• “Albert Einstein is my favorite president” “YES”

• “It’s winter berries”

• “She just unfollowed your ass”

• “Do you ever get so mad you’re like rrrrr”

• “Bear Grills filtered that shit”

• “The US army is trying to recruit us with socks and bandannas”

• “This dude tastes bad”

• “I’m a sophisticated retard”

• “It’ll get your heart rate up” “I think asthma will make my heart rate go down”

• “She was like egh and the he was like EGH”

• *Door won’t open* “DISRESPECTFUL”

• “if she wasn’t my sister she would be my baby”

• “Will you let me make love to an Oreo”

• “Directions turn me on”

• “I’ll eat you” “Dude that’s gay”

• “you’ve been had a 69 in here”

• “I’m gonna be real with you. Hayden is a whole ass lesbian”

• “I’m sorry that picture is ugly. Sorry sis”

• “A whole jump suit with pikachu on it”

• “He’s been birthed”

• “Ru Paul’s drag race has been dragged”

• “Imma sip some chlorine”

• “why do you gotta throw up”

• “suicidal dog collar”

• “I’m pulling out Murphy’s head ass”

• “you’re gonna be single forever”

• “Do you trust me?” “No” “why” “you know why” “I told the truth after”

• “I didn’t mean to make her suicidal”

• “I did it in the most respectful way I possible could” “oh Jesus”

• “it’s not my fault she had that much of a connection”

• “she’s a sly bitch”

• *dresses in a Thomas the train hat and plays Thomas the train theme song on a piano*

• “I’m getting better at this” “what” “this”

• “It’s just my master plan to manipulate people’s emotions and have many successes in my future”

• “How do you do that” “I just empty my eyes”

• “You know what. Give me my birthday back”

• “Bitch bye. Not even cousins”

• “they go away. They don’t putt putt”

• “why” “so you don’t die in a police chase”

• “are you a virgin” “yes” *throws paper* “there’s my virginity for you”

• “I’m not stupid. I’m just not smart”

• *tries to hit someone with a decapitated mannequin head that has swim goggles on and fake blood coming out of its eyes*

• “you ignant”

• “I hope she chokes”

• “I had to sit at the edge of my chair, feet flat on the floor and hold my horn”

• “I don’t want to get my freaking hair done”

• “he hates my moms guts” “yeah no shit”

• “ok. Can you go cry over there”

• “Fuckin Jurassic world”

• “will you please beat up my mom”

• *drops phone purposefully* *immediately gets scared*

• “I want a new mom” “then break her”

• “did you just say what’s frog juice”

• *freshman walk by* “oh shit there’s a parade of them”

• “that five year old king is a queen”

• “Join the ranks”

• “Garrett’s carressing the computer” “cool”

• “You’re going into my dragons mouth”

• “Don’t snap my crab”

• “Crab breaking black belt”

• “are you milking the crab”

• “Cameron buttered my lemons”

• “Mixed with god”

• “What’s the juice”

• “I’m your bestie and you won’t even tell me the juice”

• “Let’s amazon.com this”

[script-a-world]

Submitted via Google Form: So, I have created a map, putting in cities with distances and stuff. But I am having a lot of trouble with transportation between places.

I am not sure about the real logistics of time, engineering, traffic, etc to have my transportation suitable and efficient.

Say, differences between actual high speed bullet trains, just high speed express trains, local trains and maybe areas they serve. Buses that bypass big cities, going through mountains to get to smaller towns?

I'm kinda attempting to design a whole entire system here actually but making it realistic is well, so hard. In actual real life, I always can't even understand the logistics of real transportation and keep wondering why there is no transportation between A and B, or even simple things like how very low speed cheap transportation like trams still actually work. And... that's just public transport. I also need to work on private transport as well, and you know, the oh so varying road signs, speed limits, laws, etc etc.

I have been actually attempting research on real life. I mean, sometimes I can get it. But, when faced with my own story, it's all a mess. I certainly don't have the facts and I'm messed up.

Feral: In brief, as with any cultural artifact, transportation is a social construct. The how’s and the why’s depend very heavily on the terrain the transportation will cross, the resources the infrastructure requires, and the economic and/or civil value of building up one type of transportation or building up of one area with transportation over another. Factors like politics, classicism, and racism play a huge role, especially if you are looking at American transportation networks and lack thereof.

The thing to keep in mind when trying for verisimilitude with worldbuilding is that most cities aren’t planned. Or if the center is planned, the rest grows organically as they city population grows. Most cities were well developed before the idea of public transportation systems or the need for travel by paved roads was a thing. Some defining features of cities that seem planned from the beginning were in fact, not, and only exist because someone was really inventive. See for example, the subway system of New York or the Boulevards of Paris. For writing purposes, if it is truly necessary for your story (like if you’re writing road-trip style narrative) and you need the kind of detail that a complete work up of transportation would provide, I recommend picking one or two real world examples that are culturally similar to the city or cities you are designing and just kinda… borrow.

Constablewrites: For me, the biggest thing that triggers my plausibility Spidey-sense is the amount of time it takes to get between places. Like, when you have horses covering 200 miles in a day, or people popping instantaneously around Los Angeles between locations that would still be 30 minutes apart even if there were magically no traffic.

Now, sometimes this falls under acceptable breaks with reality. (Would 24 have really worked if Jack had to spend an episode and a half sitting on the 405?) But I feel like in most cases, as long as the length of the trip isn’t way off in either direction given the mode of transportation, technology level, and other established facts about the setting, you don’t need to dig too deeply into the details.

Tex: Congratulations on discovering the field of civil engineering! To be more specific, transportation and traffic engineering. While Feral and Constablewrites bring up excellent points, I will gently deposit a grab-bag of engineering for your perusal:

PDF - Fundamentals of Transportation by Wikimedia

The profile of Kara M. Kockelman, Ph.D., P.E., as hosted on the Cockrell School of Engineering

PDF - Transport Planning and Engineering, as edited by CA O’Flaherty

PDFDrive’s myriad selection of transportation engineering textbook PDFs

PDF - Railroad Engineering 101: Session 38, as presented by David Wilcock

Railway engineering has a lot of subfields, so you’ll need to be specific on that front. As in nature, engineering relies upon a significant amount of observation. Which cities use what transportation methods, and in what mixture? Why did they pick those? What’s the history behind those decisions? How much does the environment impact these decisions, and how much do cultural biases?

You’ve mentioned that you’ve already come up with cities and their relative distances - how did you come to these conclusions? What are the personalities of these cities? How do they interact with each other? Again, what is the environment like? What’s their level of technological advancement? How much money do these cities receive from their state, or from municipal tax revenue? What are their priorities in transportation?

It sounds like you wish to know the entire depth and breadth of a topic before you muck about in its waters - this is unrealistic, as in real life even the best-trained, most-experienced engineers don’t know everything. Figure out your priorities, and figure out what this world of yours requires in terms of transportation. Get the goals written down first and then work from there - that’s realistic, as is attempting to figure out the solutions to your stumbling blocks. Sometimes the most inane-sounding, ridiculous thing works and it’s not immediately apparent.

Bina: I’ll first answer some of your questions regarding why real life transport has the structure it does, then I’ll give you some advice on how to make “realistic” transportation for your map.

Why is there no transportation between A and B? Why not make a new path? The answer is typically because it’s already possible to get from A to B in an indirect way. And if it’s *possible* to get from A to B, why spend the time, money, and labor *optimizing* the path from A to B? Why spend potentially millions of dollars and months of construction just to cut time off a commute that’s already doable? If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Furthermore, maybe there’s other external reasons. Maybe there’s a huge nature reserve between A and B. Or private property owned by someone who won’t allow the government to build across it. Or maybe the land is already reserved for some other project.

Now, why was there no transport between A and B to begin with? Well, lots of reasons. Maybe the landscape doesn’t allow it. Maybe the ground is too soft to build on, or there’s mountains too large to blast through, or the technology at the time means that a direct path isn't feasible and it's all you can do to go an indirect way. Another reason is because maybe a C existed first that was closer to A, with a path from A to C already in place. When B came up, it was easier to go from C to B rather than make the longer path from A to B. Years later it may be the case that C becomes an unimportant town and A and B are bustling hubs that people travel between frequently, but... why make a new road when one already exists? If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

That same ideology applies to why “outdated” systems of transport are still operating today. If it works, why take the time and money to tear it down, pave it over, and replace it with something else? Even if these trams or carriages or what-have-you are a waste of money to maintain, a city might keep them for a number of reasons. Maybe they’re a cultural hallmark of the city and tourists love them. Maybe they service niche areas and the outcry of removing access to/from those areas would be huge. Maybe they operate in areas that are impossible for the city to safely and easily construct around. Maybe the city is just lazy or slow with its legislation and never got around to it.

Hopefully that provides some insight.

Now, as for how to realistic public transport in your map. I don’t know what technology level you have or what size cities you’re dealing with, so I’ll take a step back and answer the following: “how do I make a realistic road network across my map that connects all my cities and towns?”

For that, you can take a look at the mapmaking tutorial here. It gives advice on how to add roads to your region map in a natural-looking manner. Simulate which cities/towns came FIRST and connect those together based on how much those places need to communicate, taking into account the landscape. Roads are built between places that EXIST, and I’m assuming your cities weren’t all built at the same time. If you have one city that’s the oldest and largest one in the middle of the country I can guarantee that all roads will lead to it. If a city is particularly important to the economy, it'll have more transportation leading to it. If a city is in the center of many others on the map, it may become a crossroads of travel for the other cities to reach each other. Of course, there are stipulations, and those are listed in the link given. Good luck!

[brixter-belisario]

I almost choked off the last statement she just said.

"So are you saying you want to TIME TRAVEL?!" I exclaimed

“Uhuh!” she exclaimed."As I have researched, Einstein's theory of special relativity says that time slows down or speeds up depending on how fast you move relative to something else. Approaching the speed of light, a person inside a spaceship would age much slower than his twin at home "

"A photon is very small, Besides you have to be so small like a sub-atom for you to pass through a wormhole. How is that possible? and a fact that We can’t be a sub-atom it is so tiny!."

"well we can't be very small as an atom, but the only thing that can go through a warm hole is to be a sub-atom. so I came up with an idea on how if we will make a machine that could glitch our genes into a very small piece like an atom, but first we have to consume so much energy that enables it to be effective. And we will use the black hole to get ener----" I cut her.

“not even a people experience dwarfism can pass through a photon....” I joked trying to lure the topic. “ I'm just kidding” it seems like she got pissed so I take it back to the topic “so what if you are trapped in a black hole, and you can’t get back here on earth. Uhhhh... That! It would be my greatest a-agony!" I said

"I know, everyone's fear is being left by someone. And I won't leave you, my boy. Not if you will sabotage the blueprint I let you made!” she said 

“Wait for what!?” I almost shout out of my shock.

“Just kidding!” silly girl!

“So what's your plan?” I ask her

“I have researched so much about the functions of time in our universe, I almost over familiarized its significant functions, so I came up with an idea, what if I will time travel? Make history in the world.” She points me “ And to address your concern Mister!, Dimension hopping also handles traveling into the future, since its traveling into alternate possible futures. Someone returning to the present with future knowledge only would know what might happen, not what will. This allows the traveler to take action, instead of being locked in." She pauses for a moment “AND THERE IS NOTHING FOR YOU TO BE AFRAID!”

"But black holes are thousands of light-years away from us" I reasoned out, "And to use its strong gravitational force you have to come near it. And if you come near to it, possible that you can be spaghettified by the black holes” I said to her concisely

“Well as I said I will make a blueprint of it!” she smirk and look at me TSS! Silly girl! 

Days passed and I come to see my girl she was at her room busy with her stuff on her table, I saw her doing something at a big paper, and when I get to see the whole paper, its a BLUEPRINT. She means to say she is making a blueprint. "Love, I created a blueprint on how I could make it"

And Simply like that, our conversation 20 years after, got me nervous and also proud at the same time. Because we did it! I mean she did it, she made a machine that can glitch a gene into like a sub atom by the use of energy coming from a black hole. she is extremely desperate to make a history to the world, she wants to time travel! And now She's an astronaut and I'm an engineer. She flew to the sky while I make her jet, I also make sure that her suit will not malfunction as she did this mission. I almost recheck all the functions that she is using by the time she's in space, from the oxygen vessel to the suite.

"Are you ready?" I asked her “Well you should be, you’ve been dreaming this and this is becoming real, now prove to me my lady, and you’ll be back! You’ll be back and we will get married!” I sobbed and wiped off the tears flowing down in my face “ And I'm proud of you" I said, "your objective is to make history and standing here in with this jet I made is already history, I am so proud of you my lady!"

She comes near to me and holds my hand “thank you, love! Thank you for always there supporting me with my ambition. Thank you for being there for those times that I even doubt of myself but you are there who keeps on cheering me to do it again, and thank you for helping me create the crazy machine” we laughed at each other “i-I'm ready” she said

"You seem panicking," I noticed

"I'm a bit scared. What if something comes wrong?"

"we've planned this for almost a decade and I use all of my best to secure that you are safe in that suite and you are safe in the jet I made. Don't worry my love" I said, "Nothing will go wrong"

"I hope so," she said, "I do," she said again and showing me her face as if something will happen.

"I'll be waiting for you," I said, "remember? I will marry you after you came back!”

"yeah, i will be back," she said, and I kissed her and giving her my last hug.

At a glance, I saw her walking away, going through the simulated black hole along with some scientists.

She looks back I was trying to compose a word but the last I knew that come out at my mouth is "I love you" she smiles so wide, so genuine and mouthed "I love you more" my silly girl again.

I witness her stepping into the artificial black hole as to how she slowly steps and go through the black hole, it was all sound safe not until A hour later the ESA cannot detect them in the space, which means that they were lost in the space. I was shaking at the moment a lot of questions bugged me, a question that was composing around my brain. What if they can’t be back? I was shaking I don’t know what am I going to do, and due to panic I am even making a scene here I was begging at one of the scientists to recheck if they can detect there spaceship again. But ended up nothing.

Days, weeks, and even months passed by, everyone lost their hope. Some even counted them dead, I was also about to lose hope but I keep on convincing myself. "no, I'm not taking any conclusion. I'll only consider her dead once I saw her stagnant body. As long as I can't notice anything, I won't believe even a single thing they say."

In those days that were passing by, I was out of my mind, I kept on thinking of her that even my responsibility as an engineer is compromised, I was out of my mind. One time my friend Julia was there to visit me at my apartment. I felt her sympathy the way she comforts me gives me more hope. Days and days Julia was there consoling me, I felt her concern in times when I don’t eat due to reminiscing the days when she was here, she is taking care of me, we cuddle on bed and—

“what are you thinking?” Julia asked out of nowhere

“uhmm.. nothing” I responded,

“this past few weeks I notice that you're always daydreaming, are you okay?” “I think so,... I miss her” I said pouty.

She put the tray on the table, and sit beside me, “She's dead rick” she said “scientists can detect their spacecraft, and its been almost a year rick! Move on!” she added

“No, She’s not dead!. I will not consider them dead, not until I witness their stagnant body!” I said out of my anger and stood up. I was about to go to my room when I felt her hand tap at my shoulder. I stilled for a moment and trying to absorb what is she doing.

“Rick, you don’t need her anyway, I'm here rick, you don’t need her. I know you’ve been got off your sexual need, well you can have me rick. I'm here rick~” “Sorry Julia!, but I only see you as my little sister. I can’t be with you.” I said politely and saw her eyes with full mix emotion. She took back her hand at my shoulder and turn back. I even see her sobbing. I am so sorry Julia, I am so much in love with the girl I am with 20 years ago.

I was sitting at my couch and leaning my back on the sofa relaxing out of the drama. I was at peace when I heard my phone ringing. It was one of the scientists so I answered.

“We receive something from the space~” I cut him and got off the couch and took the key out of my pocket And drove faster to the basement. “I’ll be back my love!”

"What the fuck is this?" one scientist said, "A photon passed through a wormhole just to send this?!"

My eyes grew bigger, hope fills in me. I remember the day when she said that if we can be a sub-atomic we can meet each other in the future. And so this is it! "THAT'S HER!" I exclaimed, "She did it! She wants to prove that Einstein's theory is true now she did it! She manipulated the time and utilized the wormhole just to glitch genes into a sub-atomic. She composes that, that message is from her! She’ll be back!”

Just like that, everyone was filled with hope not until one of the scientists can no longer again detect their spacecraft. Some theories are spreading, gossips are very rampant but most firm one is they are swallowed by a wormhole and stuck in a very dark new universe. Some scientists even declared them dead as they can no longer detect their spacecraft. I was so devastated, I even begged one of the scientists to recheck it, sounds funny but this scene happens year ago. 

Everything was in duskiness, I can't rest at night, I almost isolated myself just to cry, staring at the stars, missing her so bad. I can't keep my life go on, I can't live my life without her. Everyone was devastated and even lost their hope, there are around 20 passengers at the spacecraft, each of their families declared dead as the announcement was distributed. it was my bad moment not until I got a call from ESA it was one Sunday afternoon saying they got a really strong electric energy coming in the Earth atmosphere. It means someone's coming.

I knew it. I fucking knew it!

As fast as I can, I get to go to the basement and saw the spacecraft, THE SAME SPACECRAFT, THE SAME PEOPLE, SAME FUCKING PEOPLE. I wasn’t able to compose any word. I am so shocked, in all those years that pass by, they still made it. They got to get out of the vague dark universe inside a black hole. My eyes got fixated at the woman being encircled by people, using the suit I made, I can still remember what did I put in there, her suit is the most special than the other. she is crying as she hugs everyone.

"I can’t believe….. it! It was insane. We are trapped at…. something dark inside a wormhole… it was like.. a universe, a new UNIVERSE!!" she exclaims, crying, "I'll write a book about it!!” she was panicking, she was roaming her sight at the people composing around her.

“Where is my love? I gotta see him!  Where is he? I gotta tell him that einsteins theory is real, the faster you travel the slower pace you get old.” she said while catching my figure.

She paused a moment as the times she sees me, slower she come near to me, as the gap is compressing I felt her eyes with a lot of emotions until Her tears Fell.

"Congratulations, you did it!” I said in a straight voice, tears are now trying to fell out at my face

As she was inches apart from me, the thought of what she said when we were high school recall.

"For you to travel, you need to have very high speed so that you pass through a warm hole, and so by that, you can get to go in the future," she said, "What does that mean?" I asked

"The time dilation could break the time manipulation, like for instance, living in space for a year is like living in the earth for a decade. So basically means that if the mission takes almost a year our love story will ends in a decade generally but YEAR specifically."

I smiled and try to hold back my tears flowing down in my face. “You did it! you manipulated the time. Welcome back to earth, this is now the present” She was sobbing removing the tears flowing down in her face I can’t believe that her research is real. Einstein’s theory is real.

"S-Sorry..." she said in a stumbling voice while look at the old quality of my face.

"You're too late," I said, and I smile, so weakly

“I waited for 70 years straight." and my tears fell,

[demansiabites]

So, the 2010′s are over, what the fuck is up with that one? I spent more time in video games during the 2010′s than I probably spent in school, so I’ve naturally been trying to rank 10 games as my favorites of the decade. Of course, I’m a dumb bitch so I couldn’t think of anything past four or so games that I loved during the decade. So under the cut, here are my top 10 games that I played during the decade ranked in idunno an order I guess:

Number 10: Far Cry 3 (November 29th, 2012), aka the worst fucking game I’ve ever enjoyed. Far Cry 3 is a video game, that’s one of the few things I’m certain of, so naturally it has video game elements. Story, gameplay, characters, some vague semblance of doing something. If someone asked me to describe how well it did any of those things, it’d probably go something like this: “The story was fucking garbage, there was one good character that they killed halfway through, there was like one good mission in the entire game, and the gameplay was passable for a first person shooter”.  So then what the fuck, why is it this high up? I don’t know, but for some reason I kept playing this god damn game at least once every year for the past few years. Even though I had to use uPlay, even though the characters are unlikable as fuck, even though the story feels like it was written in one night long bender including some combination of Vodka and Red Bull that probably resulted with at least one person in the hospital, I kept playing this fucking game. And I think I might have figured out why, it’s just fucking stupid. There are very few games I would consider a “survival” game where it doesn’t actually have survival elements, and Far Cry 3 is one of them. The entire map itself wants you dead honestly. Including a cast of tigers, giant birds, pirates, bears, giant cliffs, and sharks, there’s no safe place on the map. Getting from one end of the map to the other will include at least one fight, no matter what you do. The game gives you the stupidest tools I can think of to get you across the map. There’s literally no reason for them to give you a flare gun, but they do because why not. A wingsuit? You get that shit like, 60% of the way through the game, and that last 40% is mostly me fucking around with the added mobility they should’ve given me from the start.  I fucking hate this game so much, purely because I enjoy it more than this game has the right to make someone enjoy. I give it a 4/10. If someone asked me of any good survival games, I would recommend something else then remember Far Cry 3 a couple hours later when taking a shower. Then I would probably play it myself, because it’s the guiltiest of pleasures.

Number 9: BioShock (August 21st, 2007), aka I never said all the games came out this decade, I just said I played them. BioShock is one of those games people consider a “masterpiece”. It’s got an amazing story, revolutionary gameplay, fantastic characters. I may agree with that, but that’s not why it’s here. I bought this game and for the following three days I stayed up playing it from 8 PM to 7 AM because I kept getting so fixed into the game that I lost my passage of time. If that’s not top 10 material I don’t know what the fuck is. BioShock is a 9/10 game, play it if you know you’re not doing anything for the next 3 days because you probably won’t realize how long you’ve been playing it. Also it’s actually pretty scary sometimes, so be warned.

Number 8: Mount and Blade: Warband (March 30, 2010), aka the game where I said I was going to take over the entire map then spent 60 hours getting 33% of the way through that goal. Mount and Blade: Warband is a perfectly accurate simulation of the days under the feudal system, because everything takes 8 years to fucking happen. Travelling across the map takes minutes at a time, battles take minutes, starting a castle’s siege takes 3 in-game days, then the siege itself takes anywhere from 10 real life minutes to an hour based on how mean the game is feeling. Do I dislike this? No, not at all, I love how large scale this game. As a matter of fact, it’s one of the largest scale games I’ve played ever. Battles can have hundreds of troops at a time, the world is dominated by kingdoms with actual politics, there are hundreds of named NPCs in the game almost every single one of which you can fight or ally with. It’s fucking insane. Mount and Blade: Warband gets an 8/10 from me, it’s not at all for everyone but it’s certainly for me.

Number 7: Resident Evil 4 (January 11, 2005), aka “wait the same person that played Leon Scott Kennedy also voiced the Merchant?” I don’t think I have anything new to say about Resident Evil 4, so I’m not really going to bother trying to critique this game. I will say I beat it at least 4 or 5 times throughout the decade, having only owned it for a few years, and that I also played it with my significant other during that time and after that they bought it to play it themselves. The only other thing I feel worth mentioning is god damn did they make Leon Scott Kennedy fucking THICC. You may think the artillery are the guns you’re carrying around anymore, but nah, them cheeks could fucking fracture a skull. Resident Evil 4 gets an 8/10 from me, I would buy it at a high price. Also I love Ada Wong.

Number 6: Danganronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls (September 25th, 2014), aka the reason I would never recommend somebody to follow me on this fucking website. Danganronpa is by far, the best series I’ve ever seen have so many crippling flaws in it. Thankfully, Ultra Despair Girls manages to avoid those flaws by being just straight up a different game entirely. Most of Danganronpa’s flaws comes from how many characters they have. Ultra Despair Girls manages to fix that by not having as many characters, but expanding heavily on the characters that it does have. The motherfuckers literally made the hyperactive serial killer my favorite character in fiction, I don’t know what y’all expect of me at this point. Also, the game manages to have gameplay that is actually suited for someone such as myself. I absolutely adore the class trials in Danganronpa, but visual novels aren’t my thing most of the time. Danganronpa is certainly an exception, but Ultra Despair Girls’s third person shooter gameplay holds my attention like a vice, that shit was made for me. Danganronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls gets a 7/10 from me, it’s certainly not the best game but god damn if it didn’t ruin me.

NOW ENTERING, THE LARGE LADS, WHERE RANKING MATTERS

Number 5: Plants vs. Zombies (May 5, 2009), aka the sentiment from the memories I have playing it is enough to put it on here. I played Plants vs. Zombies one time in the past decade, and that was just last year. But, I played it with my significant other while I was in England visiting them. We bought it for 1 pound from a game store, and played it almost every. single. day. after we bought it. We beat the main story at least three times, and one of those times I played. Honestly, it’s still a really fucking fun game, and I wouldn’t go back and change a second of the time I played it. Plants vs. Zombies gets a 9/10 from me, it’s an incredibly polished game and the memories I have of it means it’ll hold a special place in my heart for a long time to come.

Number 4: Fallout: New Vegas (October 19, 2010), aka 234 hours of my life I will never get back. Fallout: New Vegas is a special experience that I’m certain will never have a replacement. It’s reached a place in my mind where if I ever want to experience a game like it again, there is no “other game” to go to, I just go back to New Vegas and play through it all again. I give Fallout: New Vegas an 8/10, it’s incredibly buggy, but I’ll never be able to escape its grasp.

Number 3: The Outer Worlds (October 25th, 2019), aka wait there’s another Fallout: New Vegas, damn that’s rad The Outer Worlds was introduced to me through this trailer, upon which everyone was hyping it up. The game was made by the developers of Fallout: New Vegas, it looked like it had way more polish, and it was a space adventure. So naturally, with all of these positives, I was fucking horrified at what we were going to get. I was so unbelievably afraid that Obsidian was going to release the game and it was going to be bad. Well, I bought it a couple weeks after release, and let me tell you what the days after were like: BioShock, it was fucking BioShock again, god DAMMIT. The Outer Worlds is a fun, amazingly written, anti-corporation, fuck you Bethesda, space adventuring, really fucking fun game. I’m pretty sure I did almost every side quest, only missing on a couple companion quests, and I did everything I could to get the ending I sought after the most. I wanted nothing more than to topple the Capitalist Assholes, so I did. Not only did the game let me do that, but it has LGBTQ+ characters, and holy shit are some of them comparable to the UV Rays the sun is trying to fucking end me with.  The Outer Worlds receives a 9/10 from me, and I should play it again.

Number 2: Fallout 2 (September 30th, 1998), aka wow this game is the most dated piece of media, can I play it forever? I honestly have no fucking clue why I fell so in love with Fallout 2. It’s got some real problematic elements, homophobic NPCs, some of the worst parts of society, literal slavers? Literal slavers? But for some reason, I’m happy playing a game with them, because there is almost no consequence to just wiping them the fuck out. Every time I play through this game, it’s just routine for me to kill the slavers, the drug producers, the Scientologists. It’s like, the most selective experience ever, I could probably do quests for these people, but nah, I wipe them out and the game just stands there with its hands in its pockets not saying a word. It doesn’t try to stop me, it doesn’t give me some stupid negative trait for what I did. So long as I survive the encounter, I’m free to just move on with my day. On top of that, it’s also got amazing characters, and an amazing story. You can tell the story’s amazing, because in Fallout 3 Bethesda tried to do it again, and failed miserably. Fallout 2 gets an 8/10 from me, it’s a buggy piece of shit, but with a mod that fixes it it’s a way for me to spend another 90 hours.

Number 1: OneShot (December 8th, 2016), aka the best video game experience. OneShot is one of those special game experiences where I have nothing that I dislike about it. The main character is one of my favorite characters ever, they are an absolute baby. Every other character in the game is likable, as well. I have honest to god tried to come up with something I dislike about OneShot and I just can’t think of it. I may not replay it multiple times, but I don’t need to. I’m so in love with OneShot, I don’t need to play it multiple times. As a matter of fact, I don’t need to play it. I don’t own OneShot, my significant other does, they bought it at my recommendation. OneShot will never stop being one of the most special experiences to me.  OneShot is a 10/10 game, and I genuinely, with all my heart, recommend anyone who has even slightly similar tastes to me to play it. It’s one of the most lovable games in gaming, has exclusively likable characters, and I will always adore Niko from it.