#I’ll eventually post the fic for this
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Felt bad for like not uploading for a while so have like, some vamp Trevor.
Someone said you can’t have LOS lore and Norm Castlevania lore mix and I said fecking bet.
Maybe i can finally get my friend to post her fic.
#my art#drawing#sketch#fanart#trevor belmont#castlevania#castlevania fanart#alucard#🤔#Los alucard#lord of shadows Alucard#vampire#vampire Trevor Belmont#I’ll eventually post the fic for this#or I’ll get Riv to post hers finally#I hope you want emotional damage#Au#castlevania au#nobody reads tags but I’m going to put the whole au here#anyways Gabriel is Trevor’s dad and survives the fire#Man gets really depressed and a mage is like yo i can bring back your family except uh no#the mage is actually a vamp and Gabriel gets turned into a vamp#And the vamp convinces Gabriel that he’s Dracula and releases this wet rat of a Dracula out in the wild#word gets back to the gang about Dracula being back and Trevor is like nah fam i got this you all stay here#but when he finally meets this crazy vamp who thinks he’s Dracula Trevor freezes because is dad is supposed to be dead#Gabriel who’s starving noms on his son and when he’s less hungry he realizes that he’s killed his kid and decides I’m gonna try turning him#and here we are with vamp Trevor who doesn’t know what the year is and may or may not think he’s the son of Dracula#this causes some angst with Adrian of course
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another design for the au i’m working on (cough cough thinking about)
#my art#pearlescentmoon fanart#pearlescentmoon#trafficblr#these designs—especially this one—aren’t really thaat different to my normal ones (or even just the canon skins lol)#because i’m very attached to a lot of the elements in them pfhdgdn. whoopsiesss.#I said “thinking about” but I have actually written 2k words for a fic of this au so far and have a bunch of notes and stuff. but um.#i’m not too sure if i’ll ever post any of my writing anywhere because its. it feels much more vulnerable than i’m normally comfortable with#maybe eventually. but it seems. VERY anxiety inducing to me.#sphynx LIFE au
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Domestic skk where Dazai gets home later than usual from the agency. It’s not uncommon for him to arrive home after Chuuya when he was working a case, but it definitely wasn’t the norm.
As Dazai slipped off his shoes and coat, he listened for any sounds that may indicate where Chuuya was.
Even though he was pretty sure he already knew.
He padded towards their bedroom and stopped with his hand on the knob. He pressed his ear to the door, listening for familiar, soft snores, but not hearing any.
He quietly slipped into the room, unsurprised to see that the lamp was still on, but not expecting to see Chuuya’s eyes closed.
The redhead was sitting up against the headboard, arms crossed and eyes closed. There was a poetry book on his lap, still open to where he’d been reading.
Dazai felt that fond smile he could never seem to mask play at his lips, and walked closer.
The light of the lamp cast shadows that accentuated the sharp angles of Chuuya’s face. His brown lashes brushed against his strong cheekbones, and a sun-kissed bronze was spread across his upturned nose.
Chuuya was all sharp edges with an unrefined personality. And that’s just how Dazai liked him.
That crudeness that had so grated on his nerves when they first met. That crassness that couldn’t be dulled by nice clothes or Ane-san’s influence.
Chuuya was unapologetically Chuuya— untamable.
Dazai watched as his partner’s brows pinched, and his bow-shaped lips twitched downward before parting.
“What’re you staring at, shitty Dazai?”
Dazai’s smile widened. “Just wondering how long you’re going to keep feigning sleep,” he hummed as he turned away to change into his pajamas.
“Wasn’t sleeping,” Chuuya grumbled, one eye peeking open as Dazai slipped into bed and curled up next to his leg.
Dazai nuzzled into Chuuya’s toned thigh, releasing a contented hum as Chuuya’s hand started carding through his hair.
He felt the rhythmic shift of Chuuya’s body in time with his breathing, and let himself relax knowing he was safe. Secure. Cared for.
Because Chuuya wasn’t all sharp edges. Deep down, there was a layer of kindness to him. Deep enough that it wasn’t immediately apparent.
Deep because it’s part of the foundation of who Chuuya is.
Dazai considers himself one of the lucky ones, getting to witness this kindness firsthand.
Chuuya always waited up for him, no matter how tired he was, or how long of a day he’d had. Some instinct to make sure every member of his pack was accounted for— probably leftover from the sheep.
My loyal dog.
Dazai hid his smile in the fabric of Chuuya’s pajama pants.
“Oi. I can feel you smirking, bastard.” Chuuya stopped his hand to pull on Dazai’s dark waves.
Dazai whined in protest. “Chuuya’s so mean to me.”
Chuuya scoffed, voice rough with the need for sleep. “Right, so mean that I even made you crab for dinner.” He slid down the headboard to lay on his pillow. This way, he was nose to nose with Dazai— hot, toothpaste-fresh breath fanning Dazai’s face and strawberry-blond curls falling into his face. “How awful.”
Dazai lifted a hand to brush the hair out of Chuuya’s eyes, gently tucking it behind his ear. “How awful,” he agreed. “Makes me want to die.”
Those piercing blue eyes stared back at him. “I’ll be the one to kill you. Shitty Dazai.” Chuuya’s threat was punctuated by a long yawn.
Dazai tutted. “Sleepy Chibi.” He grabbed Chuuya’s hand and started massaging soft circles into his palm. Just the way he knew Chuuya loved.
Sure enough, Chuuya let out a content sigh as the last bit of tension seeped out of his body.
“S’nice,” he mumbled as he started drifting off. Dazai merely hummed.
“Such strong hands that carry so much,” he whispered, bringing Chuuya’s knuckles to his face & pressing his lips against them tenderly. “Let me hold this for you.”
Chuuya’s breath evened out, and soft snores filled the space between them. Night after night, that snoring had been Dazai’s white noise, and he bit his lip to restrain the sudden impulse to pinch his partner’s cheeks in an act of cuteness aggression.
Instead, he snuggled up close to the redhead, burying his face in the crook of Chuuya’s neck.
Dazai reached over and turned off the lamp, feeling his heart swell when Chuuya nuzzled his face into Dazai’s hair. He pressed a kiss to his jugular notch, then let the soothing cadence of Chuuya’s snores lull him to sleep.
Dazai version
#EDIT: i added a couple paragraphs in the middle that somehow got left out sobs#this is actually part 2 but i’m saving Dazai’s part for his birthday#both parts are already on twt but i wanted *something* to offer for Chuuya’s birthday#i’ll post them on ao3 eventually :’)#happy birthday chuuya#ILYSM MY BEST BOY <33333#strawberry blonde chuuya agenda#bsd#bungou stray dogs#skk#soukoku#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#dazai osamu#nakahara chuuya#domestic skk#domestic fluff#skk fic#skk fic rec#skk fluff#my writing
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see Annie and Troy both had the same sickness of “I base my personality and wants on what other people expect of me” however the difference there is that Troy got someone who accepted him unconditionally and didn’t care if he wasn’t “manly” (straight) enough. I think Annie Deserves an equally peculiar and verging on codependent relationship with her own “girl friend” (cough cough) that she can be equally gay and adorable about. In this essay I will-
#the truest repairman posts#community#community nbc#community tv#nbc community#annie edison#i just want her to get a girlfriend… please…#Lesbiannie#I’m not a lesbian (apologies) but I Love the lesbian Annie fics out there and would really like to have a spin at one eventually#We’ll see maybe I’ll wait for the movie so it can be a fix it for her inevitable straight happily ever after that she knew she was supposed#To warn ever since she was a little girl. Sigh.
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the moon will sing (time traveling tim)
so. i saw this super awesome post by @puppetwoman17 about time traveling tim drake and got obsessed, so here's a small ficlet i wrote about it!
part 2
The thing is, Tim expects it. He’s faintly aware of the blood seeping from his stomach, staining his hands red— hands which are uselessly putting pressure on his wound. If he survives this, he doesn’t even want to think of all the weeks of pure agony and fever, brought on by the wonderful lack of his spleen and the fact that healing from wounds sucked, period.
Death isn’t surprising— he really didn’t think he would live past, what, twenty-five? Thirty? To live until beyond 50 with his lifestyle was, well. It sounded painful, anyways. And you would need to be a deeply paranoid neurotic. Like Bruce. Because as much as he respected his father and looked up to him, if Tim turned out anything like Batman, he’d probably find a bullet through his brain sooner or later.
Half because Tim was reckless and his plans were so convoluted and insane that nobody really knew what was going on either, just to confuse his opponent. The other half was, well. You can guess.
So. He’s bleeding out, the night is uncomfortably cold and the wind bites into his skin, sand grating against his back, and all Tim can think about is how much he hopes Ra’s al-Ghul doesn’t show up like a damned wraith and drag him kicking and screaming to the nearest surgery table and take out his kidneys or something.
Tim’s also thinking about his family. And the probable inconveniences that come with his death. Like arranging his funeral and all his assets and his Nest and the fact that Tim is a very integral part of the family and Dick will probably fall apart and Bruce will mourn and brood, and, and damn it. Tim should probably revoke his thinking process or something.
—
Tim is twenty three years old when he bleeds to death alone, and nobody finds his body until three weeks later when his family has scoured the Earth and his distress signal rings, rings, but nobody sees it. His predictions about his family come true.
But that isn’t quite relevant, because Tim isn’t aware of such a thing.
Instead, Tim closes his eyes and falls and jerks up on his bed, clutching his chest as years of memories flood his brain, too much for a mere eleven year old. It feels like his head has been cracked open and molten lava had been poured through, scorching his veins and circulation. It feels like agony of the highest level and Tim is faintly aware of the darkness creeping in, his mind too overwhelmed and overstimulated from years of memories flooding into his brain.
And so for the second time in a few minutes and a lifetime, Tim welcomes unconsciousness with open arms.
The next few hours are spent in pure agony, his body being too weak to move and his limbs too short for him to coordinate. He’s pretty sure that there’s a pool of dried blood underneath him from a nosebleed, but he’s too tired to turn around, so he just uncomfortably shifts away from it. Not for the first time, he thanks his lucky stars that his parents are neglectful, because he doesn’t even know how he would explain all of this.
Two days later, he musters the strength to stumble out of bed, gulp down the bitter, carbon dioxide-filled water next to him and get to the kitchen. It’s April 1st, twelve years ago, Tim is eleven years old, and his family doesn’t know him yet.
Half of the terrible things that have happened to Dick haven’t happened yet. Jason hasn’t died yet. Duke is still a kid and his parents are healthy. Babs hasn’t been put into a wheelchair by the Joker.
Steph is still living with her father. Damian and Cass are being trained as assassins.
Mrs. Mac is due to come in a few hours. Tim looks at the blood-crusted covers of his bed and his crumpled clothes.
Oh, shoot.
So instead of researching or training, Tim spends the next hour trying to get the bedsheets off with his tiny, noodle arms, half stumbling on his feet because he’s way too damn short, and making his way to the bathroom so he can take a shower and get some of the blood off so it doesn’t stain too badly.
It’s probably a lost cause. Not that his parents will notice or care about a missing bedsheet, but it feels wasteful to just throw it away to hide evidence of his unintentional time travel.
Two and a half hours later, Tim stumbles out of the laundry room, his bedsheets and pillow finally in the washer. He collapses on the nearest chair and scans the room for his father’s computer.
He lets out a shaky breath. His family is generally unscarred. Jason is Robin again. Jason. The boy who Tim had held with a certain degree of, well, disdain. Thinking about it kind of makes him want to punch is past self in the face, or cringe in the way that you can only do when you think of something embarrassing you used to do. Like victim-blaming your older brother for getting beat to death while trying to find his mother.
It wasn’t the only way he looked at Jason, but he had always thought of him as too reckless. Maybe he really did deserve the beating. Well, not that he believed that young teenagers should be beat up by young adults in Robin cosplay, but at least Tim wasn’t exactly traumatized by the experience. Better him than some other poor civilian kid Bruce could’ve adopted.
And Tim did get his revenge. By getting Jason on his private parts. But whatever. Revenge was revenge, and Tim was better than the whole crime lord setup his older brother had. In practice, anyways.
Chewing on the ballpoint pen, he writes down the first thing on his list (in code, of course) since coming back in time.
prevent jason’s death
Well. Now that he had a comprehensive list, Tim was down and ready to plan.
—
A hour later, Mrs. Mac appears, none the wiser to what happened to him. Tim greets her as she walks in, and she smiles and greets him back, putting lunch in the fridge. She notices nothing wrong about how he stays sitting on the chair in the living room, and Tim says nothing about it. When she leaves, he pulls the piece of paper out of his book and the pen from his hair, scratching down some extra points.
Hmm. Maybe the Court of Owls should go early. Or perhaps that would create too much change?
Dick would have a better time in the future if they were gone, though. Tim frowns, dragging his pen back and forth in a short line on the table.
He still needed to factor in the fact that he was an unknown to the family. The thing is, Tim loves their dysfunctional, broken family and he knows Bruce and Dick loved him back. But to be honest, it would be easier to change events if he wasn’t being scrutinized by Bruce every day. And it wasn’t like Tim had any shortage of money, with his parents still alive and his family fortune enough to cover whole lifetimes, so he wasn’t worried about his own safety.
It would be nice to go to college too. Maybe Stanford. He was smart enough to make it, and the location was close to the vigiliante community that if he so wanted to, he could probably join and watch his family from the outskirts. Last time around, Tim just couldn’t leave Gotham. Being a vigiliante was his life— he couldn’t even justify it as a temporary thing anymore. Their family had gone through so much tragedy and Gotham was still filled with crime and Tim had an obligation to keep her safe. It just… he couldn’t escape his mantle because he loved it, and Tim had a difficult time letting things go once he loved them.
But if Tim could change things from the start, he didn’t need to be pulled back into the life. (He couldn’t have it, even if he loved it, because it was never his in the first place.) He could start anew, be a vigiliante when he was in college and far away from the family he hopefully would’ve fixed by then.
Well then. First things first, he needed to remove a factor from Jason’s death so he wouldn’t die in the first place.
—
Mrs. Mac comes by and cooks him lunch, and they eat in silence. Typically, Tim would fill the silence with chattering, glad to have someone to talk to in the empty manor. But Tim’s mind is whirring, drawing up and discarding plans. By the time Mrs. Mac stands up and tells him she’s going to leave now, Tim has thought of three contingencies and twelve more future events he needs to address.
He mhms when Mrs. Mac prompts him to, and eventually she leaves out the front door, leaving him alone with his thoughts. It’s spring break and Tim doesn’t actually have anything to do because he’s in middle school now, so he mulls over the Jason problem for a few more hours.
It comes to him when he’s microwaving the leftovers from lunch, and Tim is pretty sure he’s a genius, or something. Sheila Haywood worked at a refugee camp in Ethiopia handling medical supplies, but she was embezzling funds from the organization she was working for. It wouldn’t be difficult for Tim to trace it and report her. By the time Jason began tracking her down, she would most likely be in prison, just for a few years and everything would hopefully blow over and the Joker wouldn’t blackmail her because she had no use to him in prison.
It was cold, perhaps. But her life wouldn’t be over with a few years in prison, and Jason would be alive. Nothing more than they deserved.
Jason, alive. Then Damian, Cass, and Steph. He would see to his family, whole and happy. Then perhaps, in the future, when he was older and safely out of Bruce’s adoption zone, Tim could perhaps work with them. Laugh about how he never expected the Wayne family to be vigilantes, just to throw them off his trail.
Tim allows himself this one selfish thought, because he has nothing else but the shattered remains of a future that will never come to be, and a family he left behind but still exists.
a/n:
i wrote this in two hours under an inspired haze of time travel and tim, two of my favorite things
tim is a super unreliable narrator if you haven't already noticed lmao
also if i get any characterization wrong feel free to leave some discourse or ping me on the head
but like please be gentle cause y'know constructive crit, not bashing
thanks for reading! :D
#tim drake#batman#time travel#red robin#dc#oh my dear goodness#the plot bunnies#really thought I was out of my tim era#jk I’ll never be out of my tim era#anyways i'm a firm believer in tim#having the most insane plans out there#and nobody believes it#cause tim's this super logical#rational lookin guy#but he likes to show his insanity#once in a blue moon#tw blood#tw death#tw sui ideation#i'll prob post it on ao3 if i ever finish it#unreliable narrator tim lmao#fic ideas#my fics#plot bunny spinoffs#the moon will sing au#part 2 will come out… eventually
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i enjoy drawing things that appeal to me and me alone. i like to call this one “estrogen could fix her: the trilogy”
#this is tugs#tugs top hat#tugs hercules#transfem headcanon#topherc#i wrote a fic about the first pic… it’s up on ao3 but maybe i’ll share a link here eventually.#i don’t know how herc wouldn’t recognise her in the third picture but i imagine boat SRS is like. a theseus’-ship-type process.#either that or he’s being a douche on purpose! interpret it as you please <:^]#my art#<- first art post on here and it’s trans TH…. aw yeah. we’re cooking. 🔥
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What’s your favorite fic by theashemarie? I want to read her stuff, but I’m so intimidated by how much there is!! Where do I start?
OH ANON HOW I’VE BEEN DYING TO ANSWER THIS ONE!!!!
You’ve opened up THE can of worms my good fellow…
I am so sorry for the person i’m about to become
I’ve actually spent the last couple days making a simplified compilation of Ashe’s works, to make it easier for new readers to visualize them.
It’s the reason why it has taken me some time to answer this haha.
As for my favourite fic…. That’s such an insanely hard question to answer T_T
I’ll put the compilation & my thoughts under the cut to minimize dashboard noise.
(Disclaimer: i’m not a writer so some of the terms I use are from my loose understanding of literature!)
Warning for rambling ahead!!
I tried to make the fomatting as straightforward as possible! If there are any other questions you can drop a comment :)
As for the fav fic stuff:
I don’t think I can have a hard singular favourite of Ashe’s fics, because they’re all different and encompass different themes and vibes and ideas, and fuck man they’re just so good. Ashe has a masters degree in writing and it SHOWS, but also just her writing style & way of developing stories.. it’s so captivating, rich and thoughtful. I love analyzing their work & being rewarded with the amount of detail and effort that is put into it.
Here’s a couple that fucked me up particularly good though, if you must know:
LDR AU | Meet Me on the Rink | And Take Off Your Mask | Simulacrum | Language Barrier
At least two of these majorly impacted my life & mean a whole lot to me because of the themes, topics and characterization in them.
I think one of my favourite things about Ashe’s works is how visceral and raw and real they feel while you read ‘em. There’s a real strong focus on the plot, which makes for a fantastic build up throughout the story. There’s also emphasis on characterization, and by the gods it’s deliciously crafted. The direct and indirect ways in which Ashe portrays the personalities, flaws and motivations of characters… MAN.
A lot of people read fics for a quick hit of fluff or angst, so plot-heavy, meaty fics with a lot of undertones and somewhat unconventional themes can be very different from typical expectations.
Still, I stand by the fact that it’s exactly because of this that Ashe’s work is so refreshing and fascinating to read through, and I strongly encourage everyone to give it a try, especially if you like Off the Hook.
She also has a lot of oneshots and shorter stories that I listed above, if longer ones feel daunting. They’re just as good!!
I’m really grateful that they share all of this work online; creating entails a lot of work, whether it be art, writing, cosplay, etc.
Posting it for free on top of that??? I think we need to appreciate our fic writers more, honestly. They’re a huge pillar in fandom spaces that often goes unnoticed.
That’s my little ramble on the topic, thank you for reading if you went this far!
I hope this helps Anon, and if you need more pointers or thoughts you can hit me up again.
With all that said, big shout out to @theashemarie , this is my big propaganda post for you all to follow her and/or check out their work, and leave her a comment if you enjoy the fics!! I know they appreciate them a lot :)
#squid asks#theashemarie#I had to update the list again because ashe posted a new fic lol#it was really funny#finally I am free as well#this has been eating at my brain for days!!#i’ve been wanting to work on other stuff but#I REALLY wanted to answer this ask asap#I’ll get to my other ones eventually too. thanks for sending them!#I love getting asks#fic recs#off the hook#pearl houzuki#marina ida#pearlina#splatoon#squid rambles#moot’s work
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he got arrested 😔
#this is based of a fic that exists solely in my head#i promise i’ll write it eventually#sebastian debeste#< better not see you call him eustace on this post#just kidding i know it’s inevitable 😔#eustace winner#ace attorney#aa investigations#ace attorney investigations
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Yeah so. I gave into the urges. I’ve never felt the need to write fanfic. Ever. But here I am I guess.
I wrote this at midnight soooo, who knows how this is. Just wanted to write John thoughts because he’s my guy—so have this short little piece that I hope other people can enjoy too :)
Fic under the cut: 1.8k words.
The memory of Arthur’s silence will remain more prettifying than his agony, but that doesn’t mean that his pain … his terror as the light and awareness left his eyes—their eyes—is what John was hoping to hear.
He doesn’t know what he was hoping for. Relief? A gasping thank you? Pride in saving him? Would it be foolish to wish that the talisman fixed everything? That he would just be okay? Perhaps it is. He thinks it is. He was never going to have that. It would be unreasonable to think he would get any of that, but any joy of him living, of John fixing this, was ripped away when Arthur opened his mouth. All John wanted was a sound. A single noise, a response, any response to prove the talisman worked. He got that. He should be happy that he got that.
But he isn’t.
And Arthur is silent again.
And the world is dark—but not as dark as it could be.
John does not know what to consider if Arthur didn’t end up in the dark world … when he died. That place was the last thing he wanted for Arthur, and yet, it was always treated as a last resort. Of a sort. Between them, spoken only aloud by Arthur, so long ago now. A place they would end up together in—if they failed. It was not a future he ever wanted, but it was a possibility, even if it was one he despised the thought of. But now he knows that if Arthur dies he does not follow, instead he is left here to deal with the repercussions. To play the marker for lifeless remains, having to have witnessed, and experienced death without a choice. What if there is no place meant for them? Past all of this. He can’t exactly bury Arthur himself, if it came to it, he wouldn’t let him stay dead after all. Graves are a place of permanency, one they do not deserve, because they can be forgotten. Especially here. But John would never forget. He would never abandon him like that.
He would find a way, like today. They are stuck in this together. They both have to make their own path through this, together.
Except his body is no longer a weighted grave for them both, a tomb he would never dare leave, it is breathing. Arthur is alive—and so they are both alive, whatever that may entail. He is tentatively okay. Arthur, is okay. As okay as he can be, as they both can be. What matters is that he is alive—what matters now is keeping him alive.
John has almost lost Arthur more than once, twice, more than three times, and he wasn’t always there to fix it but he has tried to be. He often was. Every moment where Arthur falls, where he becomes immobile and lost to John, he feels himself succumb to a fragility accustomed to human bodies. Accustom to loss and fear. It’s horribly quiet without him. Even so, he saves him, he saves them both—because Arthur trusts him, and he trusts Arthur. He loves Arthur, and he is going to tell him that. He has to tell him that. Even if they both know it, to an extent. This can’t happen again without John making sure he knows it.
But this is never going to happen again.
Because Arthur died this time, and he almost lost everything. John felt the cold stone visage that he left in his absence. There was nothing here without Arthur, more so than just the lack of connection to their body, but the emptiness was staggering. He was alone. Completely and wholly alone in a space meant for two.
He hadn't felt terror like that since Arthur slit his throat before the King—but this was worse. They’ve grown … so much—and John wasn’t there to see the aftermath of his actions back then. This, he was aware of, in every aching moment of uncertainty. This could have been prevented, couldn’t it? They didn't need to go after the talisman, but they did, and John didn’t see her—not until it was too late. It was his words that made her kill him—an appeal made to the wrong person. Arthur wouldn’t have died if made the right decisions. But he always seems to make the wrong ones, no matter how hard he tries, that he and Arthur have in common.
But Arthur is alive again, so why does it still feel like he is grieving?
Arthur wouldn’t have gotten hurt, wouldn’t have died, if John wasn’t here. But John wouldn’t be here, who he is now, without Arthur. Perhaps that would be more demoralizing if Arthur hasn’t so vehemently stated that he doesn’t want to be rid of John, that they are in this together, until they both get what they want … no matter what that may be. Perhaps that is just happiness, in the end, no matter what it looks like. From one harrowing experience to the next, until they may finally rest. Arthur wants him here, in spite of all the pain it causes, and will continue to cause. Because Arthur is his friend, and more than that, but he is his friend.
Arthur might even be … pleased with his actions. That he has found himself, both with him, and all that he has learned for himself. That he knows who he is, in truth, after everything.
Even if he knows who he is now, who he wants to be, who he will always be—he knows he will want Arthur there too. Arthur who has been there for all his mistakes, his achievements, their joy and sorrow. Arthur deserved to be here for this too, but he wasn’t, and maybe that was the push he needed. He used to defend so much of himself to Arthur, expectation after expectation, misstep after misstep. But Arthur also gave him hope, the sanctity of trust, showed him love and sacrifice, and remained alongside him even when that trust was broken. Even if some mistakes can’t be forgiven … They let them rest. Arthur lets it rest, so they can move on, so they can grow.
Is it so wrong to become … whole without him there to witness it? Or is that how it was always meant to be. To be entirely his own, must he first be alone?
He hopes not, it is a terribly bleak thought, besides it can’t be. Not in every single world, even if Kayne said he … doesn’t change much. There must be some place where there is more joy to be held in his ownership of self. A better circumstance that does not lace his pride in one of their darkest moments. In his choosing of hope. In his choosing of Arthur. One that doesn’t extend off of a devastating fear, off of death. He doesn’t know if he would wish to change this, he would have—if Arthur was truly gone—but he isn’t, so he will just have to see how this plays out.
He is going to share everything he said—everything he did, with Arthur. Because he deserves to be a part of it. Because they do this, all of this, together. Because he wouldn’t be here without him. Because together they are whole of two, just like he said, just like he will say.
It’s not as if he will ever fit into the messy expectations of what it means to be human, per say, but he doesn’t need to. All he needs is to perceive himself as what he wants to be—and Arthur’s perception helps to, even if he doesn’t always meet that. Humanity will be whatever he wants it to be. However he defines it to be. A neutral point, in it all. For he is not a piece to be slotted away, but a piece to be shelved along the masses, every individual part given a space of its own, and it is a space he deserves. A space he had long since earned.
A space they both deserve, to play their own key.
Because Arthur is alive—and so is he, in every sense of the word.
He’d panicked, when Arthur lost consciousness again, for a second he thought he had lost him once more. John had been so ready to reach for the talisman for a second time—for he wasn’t going to allow Arthur to leave, not yet, not ever. But he was breathing, albeit raggedly, but he was. John was going to keep his promises, he had to. He was going to take care of this, of him, and they were both going to be okay. Just like the times before this, and everytime that may come after, because Arthur isn’t going to die.
They’re going to get their happy ending, despite what she said, one where Arthur does not end up as a corpse.
An ending where they both know want they want, what they deserve, who they are.
Moving Arthur to the witch’s bed was difficult, to say the least, without exasperating the wound and the subpar stitching ... even if it has improved. John won’t allow it to get any worse—and Yorrick keeps telling him it’s survivable, or that he is more likely to survive anyway. Even so, John periodically checks to make sure Arthur is still breathing, that his heart is still beating.
Arthur is alive. He will stay alive.
He should stop worrying, Yorrick keeps spouting that he is arguably fine. He should stop.
But the reality is that he can’t, and he doubts will for a long while to come.
He is intimately aware of every minuscule movement Arthur makes, of every second of awareness he gains, and he coaxes him back to the present through all of it. A melody of promises, of reaffirming how he feels, telling Arthur everything over and over and over. It doesn’t matter if he is aware of what he says, if he hears him at all, John will repeat his words for as long as they are needed.
John never lets him arrive to the dread of waking up alone, speaking as soon as he stirs and recognition strike, each and every time. They are never going to be alone again, severed or separated, and John tells him that. Because they are whole together.
And eventually, when Arthur finds his speech, a gentle—hoarse voice long since worn by constant yelling born from the suffering of the waking. He repeats back everything John has been telling him through the suffering of uncertainty, of recovery and knowing and fear.
Arthur moves, ever so slightly, before John can protest—and he brushes his hand, John’s hand. It is a little thing, but it is such a stark constant to the stillness he had before. After the pain of it all, this is a relief, a reprieve. Arthur is alive and John can tell he’s weakly smiling, even if that is not something he can see, when he speaks up for the first time in hours.
John isn’t surprised by what he hears, he already knew, after all. They’ve both said it before. But John it is nice to hear regardless, because together, they are whole. A comfort to both him and Arthur both. He does not want to live, to experience life as it was shown to him, without him. He wouldn’t have gotten here without him. Together they are whole. Both their own wills, colliding, and depending on each other. Made by each other.
Arthur is alive.
Arthur is alive and he breaks the one sided silence by saying, “I love you too.”
Perhaps that, for now, is enough.
#malevolent#malevolent fic#they’re very qpr coded for me#though I know that is a very common consensus I guess#i just want them to be happy eventually no matter how long it takes#they deserve it I think#I love any interpretation of them I just think they should have some happiness#just a little#even if it’s complicated#they can’t be defined to me—not really#but they love each other#and that’s enough#a lot of his identity is attached to Arthur#and a life with Arthur is a happier one#it’s complicated#maybe I’ll make a meta post about it#about the whole…. being whole together#but I don’t think I need to#just wondering if my interpretation of that is different?#who knows—I sure don’t.#lowkey this is a John character analysis tbf#I adore him#malevolent podcast#john doe malevolent#I have a lot of thoughts about them and I tried to put that into this#but there is a lot I don’t know how to put into words#rotating him in my mind#my posts of madness#masked
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fic idea i will probably write at some point:
when toph goes after zuko after his terrible introduction (hello, zuko here) he still startles and burns her feet but instead of running away he immediately rushes over and starts fussing over her, picking her up and treating her burns
he lays her down on his bedroll and gets his first aid supplies. he’s kind of an expert at dealing with burns. aside from the obvious, he was often burned during his childhood while training to fight with bending. it was why he was so fond of the dao swords, something he was much better at
he doesn’t realize he’s been talking aloud until the girl (does he know her name yet??) pointedly coughs after he trails off. he shakes the thoughts away and warns her the balm he is about to apply will sting at first.
he surprised when she fists a hand in his shirt, hissing in pain as the medicine does its job. he wraps it and moves onto her other foot, repeating the process. once he’s done, she looks in his direction quizzically
“it’s… numb,” she says, surprised. zuko smiles and explains
“it numbs the pain and heals the burn simultaneously. you should feel better in the morning after a good nights sleep, but you should still reapply it so it stays that way, okay?” he asks. she nods and then seems to debate asking something, before speaking
DISCLAIMER i know nothing about medicinal herbs/balms so this is 100% made up
“the others tried to describe you to me when i asked… pretty much all i got was ‘ponytail jerk with a shaved head and a burn on his face’ and obviously that’s not really a great description…” she trails off. zuko laughs softly
“if it makes you feel better, the ponytail is long gone. my hair is long enough to mostly cover the burn, too…” he replies
she nods thoughtfully before hesitantly lifting her hand towards his face, stopping a few inches away.
“um… you can say no, of course. but if it’s okay, can i touch your face? it’s how i see people,” she explains quietly. zuko flinches back slightly before thinking about it. her hands are so… small. and she hasn’t hurt him (yet).
the last person who touched his face was Uncle, helping zuko apply the burn salve after a bad day (the scar tended to hurt more if he was upset or angry… which was often). he had been so careful, it made zuko feel cherished.
he lets out a breath and agrees
the grin he receives is probably worth his discomfort
he closes his eyes and feels her small hands trace his face. she hums to herself as she maps it out in her head. zuko can feel calluses, likely from her earthbending, and laughs when she runs a hand through his hair, whispering “just checking”
they both quiet once she’s explored his entire face aside from the scar. she seems hesitant, so zuko nods slightly, reassuring her.
he cant really feel the hand tracing his burn. that area has been numb since his father…
he’s used to it. her hand on the other side of his face, keeping his head steady, is grounding and he releases some of the tension that had built in his shoulders when she traced the edge of the scar
she lets out a tiny gasp, and zuko can feel hair being pulled back from his ear- or what’s left of it. the burn had reached the appendage and a bit of his scalp. luckily his long hair was able to easily cover it. thinking back on his days wearing the symbol of the banished, having the entire thing exposed, makes him feel sick.
she finally drops her hands and when zuko opens his eyes (when had he gotten teary?) she’s sitting back across from him.
they sit in thoughtful silence for a while before toph snaps her fingers in recognition
“oh yeah, are your eyes really gold?” she asks
zuko finds it odd that the group had even noticed his eye color, but confirms her question
“cool,” she grins and zuko can’t help but smile back. she eventually scoots over on the bed roll and demands zuko sit next to her (and who is he to say no?)
they spend the next couple of hours talking. zuko finds out toph also comes from high society, and they bond over the stupid rules they were forced to learn and such.
toph doesn’t ask how he got the scar, but she does ask about it.
“can you hear at all in this ear? and are you able to see with this eye?”
he allows her these questions because she’s one of the only people who can understand what it’s like
“not very well, but enough to get by. as for my eye… it’s mostly blurry and i can’t open it past a squint. honestly, everyone was surprised it hadn’t lost all function,” he explains
she studies him thoughtfully before replying
“is that why you have two swords?”
zuko blinks. he hadn’t ever actually thought of it like that, since he was already using them before getting banished. but it makes sense. he shrugs
“maybe subconsciously?” he says, and she laughs at his uncertainty. he can’t help but smile at the sound
#excerpt from a fic i’ll probably write#eventually#they are siblings#this is NOT a ship post#atla#a:tla#zuko#toph beifong#atla zuko#toph atla#prince zuko#zuko and toph#<< the fact that there’s no tag for them makes me so sad#toph deserved a life changing adventure with zuko#he has those Older Brother instincts#toph is his little sister#aang is also his little brother
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So I’m working on a plotless kanej one shot (that I may or may not finish), and I kinda like this little bit that I’m gonna share with y’all:
… After barely a moment of silence, he laughed. A soft, gentle laugh. The kind that she knew was meant just for her. She’d heard of the Kerch keeping something of their lover’s likeness inside pieces of jewelry. A lock of hair, a penny portrait made by a street vendor, a hand-written note folded on a tiny slip of paper. She thought she would rather store his laugh in one of these lockets and keep it close to her heart always.
Because bottling the other’s laugh and getting drunk on it every night has already been used, I needed to get creative with what Inej thinks of Kaz’s laugh XD I dunno, I just think they’re cute <3
Edit: I did, in fact, finish the thing
#six of crows#inej ghafa#kaz brekker#kanej#soc fanfic#soc fanfiction#kanej fic#six of crows fanfic#crooked kingdom#i’ll learn how tags work eventually lol#writing things#crow brain post
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Gorgeous and actually buff Shepard - check
Flight suit Garrus showing a little sumthin’ sumthin’ extra - check
Talons and claws! - check
Best friends with benefits who are too caught up in their own heads to realize it might be love - also check
Milkywayes (go check out their tumblr- shakarian perfection) is an amazing artist and did this comish for my ao3 fanfic Comparative Anatomy. Thank you love!
Welcome into my brain people - I can’t get these two idiots out of it.
#they love each other so much it’s stupid#femshep x garrus#garrus x shepard#garrus my beloved#shakarian#garrus x femshep#shepard x garrus#garrusvakarian#female shepard#milkywayes#I swear I’ll stop posting this and finish the sequel eventually#mass effect fic
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I take your 2012 Leo writing Space Heroes fanfiction and I give you: 2012 Raph making fan art for Leo’s fics
#I mean he’s canonically the artist of the fam in the 2012 version!!!#and we all know he secretly loves space heroes#tmnt 2012#imagine like a real funny scenario where they’re both on Ao3 or smth and postings fics and art and they bond online over space heroes#only to eventually find out ‘that’s my BROTHER???’#also I can’t believe I have to tag this bc ppl are weird but#tcest dni#I’ll bite ur head off I swear#sun’s originals
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ghouls wear whatever masks that were being actively used during their summoning for formal events btw. so like phantom and aurora would wear the masks they wear now. swiss would wear the silver one with the mouth cut out. dew would technically have the choice between two. are you getting what i’m saying? are you walking with me??
#percy.txt#dewdrop ghoul#swiss ghoul#phantom ghoul#aeon ghoul#i won’t actually ever call him that but. for the reach i suppose#aurora ghoulette#ghost the band#the band ghost#i posted this on twitter but you all can see it too#i may or may not have come up with this for a fic i started and then couldn’t figure out where i wanted it to go…#eventually. maybe eventually i’ll get back to it#percy headcanon#ghoul headcanons
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Accidentally wrote something kinda cute and angsty for the Lost Halloween fic prompt a few days ago.
Actually, both of the stories I’ve plucked out of the consciousness of the universe are a bit angsty. I dunno where the heck this came from from, but it’s there, and I really like where both of them are going because we need more Dad!Ben and Kid!Alex fics in the world, but hot damn, as cute as they are, they’re also bittersweet.
My subconscious must be in a weird mood.
Also I’m weird about publishing stuff when I think it’s ready, so it might be the very end of the month before I actually put them on AO3. I like to let my fics marinate before I edit them. Anyone else do this?
#kate rambles#kate writes#lost#lost 2004#benjamin linus#ben linus#alex rousseau#I need more dad!ben in my life okay#and I work with kids of varying ages so I keep channeling situations with those kids into Ben and Alex situations#also I saw someone posting how it’s a crime there aren’t more Ben/Alex fics on AO3 so I’m trying to fix that#the chokehold those two currently have on me rn#lost halloween#I’ll post them eventually I promise
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Heyyy, I just posted a new chapter of The early bird catches the bone in case you wanna check it out!
#sans x reader#I don’t remember if I started posting updates here of this fic but#I’ve been drawing these two lately#I’ll post something eventually g4grdhg
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