#I’ll be fine just…

[mysteriousdragon2]

Howdy everyone. To those who are reading this, I’ll be venting once again. However, this might be a bit more personal. You’re more than free to disregard this post, but to those who read it, thank you for your time.

So…life’s been a complete disaster. My household treats me poorly daily, and I unfortunately cannot escape this situation until I get money to move out.

My parents have hurt me in ways that I cannot explain fully. But I’ll say this for certain: mental abuse. Ever since I was a child, it’s been an ongoing issue. I’m told I deserve to get bullied, told that I’ll never amount to anything, told that I’m a freak who doesn’t deserve anything. No gifts, no friends, no happiness. And everytime I try to be happy for a split second, it gets demolished by my parents with their negative comments about me.

Aches me daily. The more I keep living, the more I sink in those words, and feel useless. I can’t even create art without having someone from my household telling me it’s a waste of time to work on. And art is something I’ve been doing practically all my life.

I despise the fact that I’m being threatened to get kicked out of home if I fail to obey my parents’ unrealistic expectations. When I already do that, it’s bringing me into a state of misery.

Heck, I feel like a terrible friend to those who are currently my friend. I just keep spewing my moronic feelings, and have no input about it. Sometimes I think it’s best that I remain silent about venting to my friends. I’m only making this post just to notify others about how I’ve been and my feelings over the past couple years.

Sometimes, I have mood swings and it sets me into unwanted places. Although random, they are manageable. Usually doing something I enjoy solves this. But it’s really irritating to have my parents tell me that art doesn’t do anything to a person. Boy are they wrong. Art has made me very creative and patient, and that is wonderful. My art has gotten better thanks to the many art trades I’ve done with people.

Yet, I feel out of it. With just about anything I do, my stress level keeps getting worse to certain things. I’m claustrophobic, so being around a ton of people or closed spaces and or objects get my mind racing. I hate that I’ve met people joking about claustrophobia, it’s not okay. When people treat a phobia as a joke, please don’t do that. It grinds my gears.

Anyhow, sometimes I feel like I’m inferior sad a person and a friend. And often I choose to avoid people for the sake of their health, plus others are busy, so I get it.

What upsets me, is getting abandoned. By my close friends especially. Or anybody that’s genuinely kind to me. Countless times have I keep ghosted without a word by many people, and it’s never a pleasant feeling. You feel shackled and shut down. The fact this happens often really shows how terrible I am. But to those who have been my friend for a while, thank you.

The only thing keeping me intact at the moment, is Hol Horse. He’s been nothing but an example I follow, to always be a number 2. And to never strive for perfection, or being a perfectionist. He has his own way of life, and so do I want to aim for that someday. He means so much to me, more than I can express.

Sorry for the venting. Just wanted to express how I’ve been feeling and what’s going on. Thanks to those who read it.

Have a good one, everyone.

[paracosmicessence]

have doodle lol

functionally, i am alive, emotionally?? idk about that work has me crying almost everyday now chat idk if i can do this anymore

[pangur-and-grim]

what’s happened now?? oh pangur….

[abovesn4kes]

Totally forgot to post the rest of these designs here! More to follow soon :-)

Doodles below!

[ghoulinfuschia]

Romantic breakups suck, but I think platonic breakups hurt just as bad. You lose a person you thought would be around forever. What’s worse is if neither of you did anything wrong. Circumstances just wouldn’t allow it anymore. You stand at the end of your journey together, side by side, and all you can say is “Thank you for everything. I hope the future treats you kindly.”

[midoristeashop]

Long car trips mean hunch over my ipad and film dumb stupid videos in restaurants at 11pm 😍 (future me screw u idk if it’s shaky also do not perceive me)

(That one vine)

Also have the things

[scribblelimbo]

More very early morning sketches based on the scrapped signing concept from the art book (though I used Auslan and not ASL, I can only know my local sign!) and some additional lovestory art because of course

ALTs in images

[itsajollyjester]

Couldn’t stop thinking about them accessorizing for war because silly but also because of Ekko’s quote about needing to give people what they need to live not just survive

[puhpandas]

family photo 2.0

[queeniehostapasta]

Erm….ermmmm..guys do you think they were really fighting in the Majin buu saga…

I WAS TRYING TO DO A GRADIENT MAP BUT THIS HAPPENED??? HELP???

Ok but all seriousness here this painting reminded me of them actually, had to do this one.

[otaku553]

Starting art fight with a portrait of @where-does-the-heart-lie ‘s Mueta :) jellyfish guy……. He’s so cool

[yyoati-cas]

Guys I am going crazy a bit after the arcane act 3, but like I feel like it’s pretty heavily implied that Jayce and Viktor was something something… I know they’ve paralleled Mel and Viktor a lot before but they did it again in episode 7, VERY CLEARLY IN JAYCES MIND MIGHT I ADD. And the whole ending scene of Viktor and Jayce bro.

I feel like Jayce is very heavily implied to have feelings for Viktor and Mel that are very alike and I really don’t feel like I am reaching with that at all

[avelera]

JAYVIK SHIPPERS HOW ARE WE FEELING ABOUT THIS VERY SAD ROMANTIC SONG BEING ABOUT VIKTOR AND HAVING SCENES WITH JAYCE IN IT??*

(*no disrespect to Sky but that is not Sky that is the thing that MURDERED HER and is now pretending to be her.)

[bakudekublogblog]

kacchan going from “rage and revenge” to very softly being like “I hope he doesn’t get in our way” after noticing how much to means to izuku that aoyama has a chance to still be a hero…. kacchan is so soft for one man only

[tf2shit]

quote from @kritzkrieg-kiss

finally got around to more of this (tf2)shit lol

[spicyicymeloncat]

In a recent staff post, tumblr staff said that only a quarter of tumblr is lgbtq, and I don’t think anyone’s really convinced of those numbers. Ik this post might not reach that many people but…

(Edit: oh my god guys ik the results are biased okay?? Unfortunately that’s just how polls work. Check my reblog tho gay, was literally the 2nd most trending tag last night. Even if you refuse to believe the statistical literacy of this poll you can still observe that tumblr is still largely very gay compared to the average social media. I talk more about this in a reblog but god. I get it. Polls have never been that good at gathering unbiased results)