#I’d love feedback regularly

[xx-sketchy-xx]

*Audible plop of me dropping this in front of you*

so uh, ya, idk what to think of it (by @Henneyyy on tic toc)

[fantasy-anatomy-analyst]

How’s this idea for dragons that’s been bouncing around inside my head for years sound? Dragons being ecosystem engineers that reshape their environment by utilizing their fire breath? 

Dragons are large and powerful apex predators, having the power to reshape the land around them to better suite their needs, those Cheifly being access to an abundance of prey and flight friendly land. Utilizing both their fire breath and flight they scorch the earth around their mountain lairs, burning down vast swaths of woodlands during their brief monthly outings, fittingly called “rampages”. Overtime the constant wildfires the dragon causes turns the land from vast forest to highly productive and fertile grasslands, both catering to the dragons needs and opening up new habitats and opportunities for other species. 

Only adult dragons engage in terraforming behavior as unlike the highly active and nomadic juveniles, adult dragons are sedentary and only active for afew days every month during their rampage. During a rampage the dragon will fly all across their territory, burning and devouring everything in sight and causing numerous wild fires as it scorches the earth to both hunt and mark territory. Once satisfied the dragon returns to its lair to rest, entering a deep torpor as they slowly digest their large meal, saving a lot of energy and giving the land a chance to heal before needing to eat again. Once their previous meal is digested and hunger rouses them awake, they will take to the skies to repeat the process all over again for their entire adult life. 

Overtime the repeat burnings will turn once dense forest into fertile grasslands, these creating not just an idle habitat for the dragon itself but also idle habitat for animals the dragon feeds on, redefining the ecosystem in its favor. Large ungulates are the dragons primary food source, greats herds of grazers being attracted to the dragons territory as forest turns to plains. The abundance of ash the dragons burnings leaves behind acts as fertilizer which invigorating the soil to grow thick and healthy plants idle for grazing animals to feed upon. The dragons pheromones also repel most other predators, making it “mostly” predator free aside from the dragon itself. These habitats being very high risk/high reward for the herds that come to inhabit the dragons territory. 

While a fully terraformed habitat is great for an established dragon, it also ironically is highly dangerous for them as well. Attracting its two biggest rivals, other dragons and humanoids who may come to steal the lands it’s created. Dragons are fiercely territorial and defensive of their territory, adult dragons regularly fight over prime real estate, primarily young adults without an established lair or older adults displaced from their previous one being the most common challengers. Humanoids are also a dangerous competitor, attracted to these lands for agriculture and being a terrible mixture of arrogant and ignorant enough to refuse believe the dragon that “terrorizes” their village is responsible for creating the land their settled on and seek to slay it out of fear. 

This is most of the details I’ve been able to come up with over the years. I was wondering if this sounds like a valid niche for dragons to have as its fits their vibe perfectly or if theirs anything else that could be improved on? I’d be thankful for any feedback or criticism you could offer.

honestly, this is awesome. i love that you're giving the fire breath a whole new purpose! I also enjoy the way this affects the social lives of the dragons and provides some new motivations for conflict between dragons and other creatures/people.

[thatbanditqueen]

Basic Training Ch 6

Summary: Bess spends a Friday evening with Elvis on base, and gets excited for the party he invited her to the next day. We learn a little more about Bess' family as she gets ready to meet Elvis' friends, however, things do not go as planned.

Warnings: Fingering, dry humping, descriptions of the ever elusive female orgasm (not when Elvis is around....), and discussions of mental illness.

WC: 8.4 K i tried and failed to stick to my 5 - 6 k goal

My writing is very much influenced by the other women I write with, my lovely sister wives @be-my-ally @vintageshanny @missmaywemeetagain @from-memphis-with-love @ellie-24 @powerofelvis @peskybedtime and @shakerattlescroll give me suggestions, answer my research queries and help me find the will to live and write. Also, thanks to @ab4eva and @lookingforrainbows for their enthusiasm because honestly yes I thrive on engagement with other Elvis fans.

Special shout out to @whositmcwhatsit from whom I have stolen her characterization of Elvis learning what an OC likes as he pleasures her in bed, changing his voice when he is alone with an OC vs. in front of others, using his thumbs to rub OCs backs.... basically I subscribe to the belief that all art is deriative and collaborative and I pinch things unwittingly from everyone who I read regularly so thank you, and sorry, no, I won't ask for permission. I am a bandit queen after all. But if you have read @whositmcwhatsit's stuff you might find some of my characterizations of Elvis familiar and you should probably go read some of her stuff instead. She also alpha'd this for me and gave me lots of feedback and dialogue/plot ideas. But no Jade, I am already too jealous of your talents to give you co-author credit so stop begging me (in my head).

You can read the previous chapters of this fic about Elvis at Fort Hood in 1958 here

This is the playlist I made for this chapter. Kewl kids do that.

Chapter 6: Guided Missiles

Friday, April 11, 1958

7:07 p.m.  on the grounds of Fort Hood, Killeen, TX

Guided missiles, bound to explode

Destroying my heart is your goal

You have succeeded in making me blue

Now I know the enemy is you

The Cufflinks’ “Guided Missiles” played over the radio as Bess navigated her car along the base road, she had just begun to relax her thigh into Elvis’ leg while enjoying how he crooned along into her hair with the song. Then she felt his hand on her inner thigh and bolted upright with a gasp, trying to wiggle him off as she changed gears.

“You are making it hard for me to drive, Tupelo.”

Elvis snickered under his breath, enjoying the way Bess shivered from the way his hand moved her hem up.

“I’m jus’ being helpful, Moo Moo, this skirt’s so goddamn tight, don’t know how you can change gears.”

Bess shook her head as she pulled into the PX parking lot, sliding his hand out of her legs.

“Well, aren’t you chivalrous?”

“Zat’s me, baby.” Elvis’ lips were nibbling her ear. “I’d open your door any day.” Somehow his hand was back between her legs and she gasped when it feathered over her panties.

“My door,” she pushed him off and put the car in park, “is just fine where it is, soldier.”

He grinned at her, and the way he looked down, biting his lip, was so naughty it made Bess tense with longing. She instantly regretted coming here with him, blushing when his eyes met hers, his fingers now caressing her elbow. Their soft touch did not feel any more innocent on her arm than they had on her thigh and she coughed nervously.

“Um, uh, alright, fork it over.”

He arched an eyebrow at her.

“What?“

“You were the one who wanted candy.”

“Bess, I’m not able to carry my wallet during field exercises, an’ I came to meet’cha straight after.”

Bess rubbed his knee playfully and waggled her lips.

“Hmm, Mr. Chivalrous, indeed. Ok, guess I can spring for some Reese’s -”

“Get a bunch, and a few Pepsi colas?”

Bess couldn’t even summon one sarcastic smart aleck retort, her mind was dulled by the way his cheeks lifted up in a boyish excitement. It made her want to grab his face and cover him with a thousand kisses. Instead, she nodded dumbly and managed to make her way out of the car intact, pulling down her skirt. If she tried focusing really hard she was able to walk upright into the commissary.

Once she was a few feet inside, away from Elvis’ hands, her wits returned and, in a matter of minutes, she was at the soda fountain asking the girl behind the counter to add a few more peanut butter cups to her paper bag. 

Walking back out of the shop, Bess folded the top of the bag over itself a few times, enjoying the feel of the sharp crisp edge under her hand. She smiled to herself, thinking of Elvis’ silly grin as he conspiratorially looked around after dinner and whispered in her ear that he was in the mood for something sweet.

Studying Elvis over the last two weeks, Bess found he was not at all what she had expected. He was smart and funny, yet also childlike and sweet and simple. His face greeted her with the same genuine excitement every evening when she met him at the bottom of their dirty, dingy back stairwell. He had asked her to bring the same meal the last three nights in a row, homemade meatloaf on challah bread. And he was content to do the same thing every night: drive around listening to the radio and necking in her car. This trip to PX was the first time they had deviated from their familiar routine and gone anywhere remotely public together.

“So, this is how movie stars indulge in the finer th -”

Bess stopped talking as she sat down and realized Elvis was not in her car. Peering around the parking lot, she saw his side profile a few cars over, sitting between two girls in the back seat of a white Buick. Two giggling girls. Two very pretty, young giggling girls. 

Bristling, Bess took a deep breath and calmly placed the candy next to her, then calmly pulled the handle and then calmly but forcefully slammed her door with a bang. She saw one of the girls look over, a blonde, but Elvis remained lost in conversation, laughing at something the brunette had said. 

Bess wondered if he was even aware she had returned to the car. Not sure what to do, she settled on acting nonchalant and proceeded to fix her lipstick in the rearview mirror, trying to conceal how hard she was straining to hear what they said.

“Course I do, honey, scout’s honor. Yes, that’s right, 16 cars. Well now, what’s the point of making money if you can’t spend it? Wait a minute, huh, now, actually, it’s 15, I just gave my Messerschmitt to my tailor.”

She couldn’t make out the girls' muffled, breathy voices, just Elvis’, which was, for some reason, deeper and much more pronounced now that he had an audience.

“Oh, well now, most people ain’t heard a it, but it’s a German car, a small ‘un, rides on three wheels and goes real fast, boy, real fast, on account of how light it is. Feel like you’re racing in a bubble.” He whistled a high note. “Whooeee, goes right past all the suckers in their regular cars.  But, well, heck, I hardly got to drive it, though, so naw, I don’ miss it. I was away so much, when the guy who makes my suits wouldn’t shut up ‘bout it, I finally told him, I said, ‘Bernie,’ I said, ‘Ya can have my Messer but you have to let me pick out ev’ry thing I want in ya store here. Today’… Yeah, it was a good deal, man, I cleaned him out.”

Bess rolled her eyes and sat there waiting while Elvis chuckled and answered more questions from the girls. Then, ever the chivalrous, attentive gentleman, asked them about themselves, wondering where they went to school, what they did for fun, and whether they had any boyfriends

“Don’ lie now.” She heard his voice get flirty. “I don’t believe it, pretty girls like you? I bet you’re breaking all the guys' hearts here.”

“Do you have a girlfriend?” one asked him, and Elvis laughed.

“Nah, no one special. See, I'm so busy, and I’m always on the move, it wouldn’t be fair to any gal to for me try and settle down now, ‘specially now I’m off to Germany. I’m just playin’ the field. Why, are you asking me out? Honey, ain’t fair to tease me like that.”

Elvis sat and talked with them for ten more minutes or so, but Bess was only half listening. His words about how he didn’t have a special girl played over again in her mind. Bess started eating the peanut cups impatiently as the idea of how insignificant she was to Elvis snowballed in her mind. She was just a girl he met during basic training, one of the many girls whose car he felt he could just walk up to and sit in. One of, what, hundreds he had probably kissed in dark corridors, movie theaters, recording studios, cars, motel rooms? Completely interchangeable with any other girl. Completely interchangeable with these silly, stupid girls he was flirting with while she waited.

What the fuck was she doing with her life? Baking bread and meatloaf and packing a picnic dinner to schlep on base every night? Curling her hair before bed and waking up early so she could take extra care to look nice?  While he treated her like a pathetic doormat he could send off to buy him candy and then keep waiting for what now, twenty minutes? Bess had half a mind to drive off, and the only thing that stopped her was her pride. She would not let him know that he had upset her, she was not going to have a tantrum like a child.

The peanut butter and chocolate had hardly begun to melt when Bess threw another candy in her mouth and told herself she was being silly. Those girls had probably called him over, everyone in Killeen was on Elvis alert, and he was probably just being polite and humoring them. She ate some more of the candy and felt a little better, telling herself it was harmless. And what, she expected him to spill his guts about his love life with two kids? And so what if it was true? She knew he had other girlfriends,  she’d seen pictures of him out around town with stars like Natalie Wood, Yvonne Lime, and Anita Wood in the movie magazines. Elvis' playboy lifestyle hadn’t seemed to matter this morning, because she knew they were just having fun. She was having fun, she reminded herself again, and she shouldn’t get worked up.

But it was ten more minutes before Elvis said his goodbyes, and Bess’ ire rose again as he lingered over their car window, making them promise to meet him at the base movie theater next week.

“What about you, Moo Moo, you like Danny Kaye?”

Bess looked at him coolly as he got into her car, then back at the windshield as she shifted the car into reverse.

“Sounds like you’ve already secured companions, one for each side.” She elbowed him off as he leaned to put his arm around her.

“I reckon you’re right.” He attempted to put his hand where it had been before, lightly trailing his fingers over the back of her neck. “Guess I’ll just have to put you on my lap,” he hummed in her ear, grabbing the bag of candy as Bess navigated the car out of the parking lot. 

She could tell he was joking around with her, but she scooted away from him nonetheless, sitting up straight and rigid as she drove, the bitter taste of his indifference still fresh on her tongue despite the half dozen chocolates she’d eaten in the last ten minutes.

“What happened to the Reese’s?” Elvis’ voice trailed off as he popped the last one in his mouth, and he took a longer look at Bess’ stiff stance.

“Oh, I didn’t think you were interested in them anymore.”

Elvis sucked on the candy and grabbed a bottle of Pepsi from the six pack below his feet, opening the cap with a pop.

“You cheesed off ‘bout them girls back there?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, it’s a free world, you can go around speaking to whomever you like.”

 Elvis sipped his Pepsi, looking sideways at Bess.

“Huh, so you hugging that steering wheel like you tryin’ to marry it for no reason, then, huh?”

Bess glanced over, her terse expression breaking. “Well, it doesn’t feel particularly good to be left twiddling my thumbs for thirty minutes.”

Taking another swig of his Pepsi, Elvis began to message the base of Bess’ neck.

“Aw, hell, honey, I didn’t even realize I was over there that long.” His fingers massaged the base of her neck. “Time got away from me, now that’s the god’s honest truth.”

Bess grunted as Elvis' thumb rubbed slowly over her shoulder blade, moving to her waist to pull her towards him.

“Hey now.” He kissed the top of her head, and Bess could feel her anger dissipating. “Scoot in here, let me show you how I feel ‘bout you, Moo Moo. Those girls don’ mean nothing.” He squeezed her waist.

“Seemed like something,” Bess whined, hating herself the minute the words left her mouth, she sounded needy and pitiful. 

“Aw, Moo Moo, don’t be like that. I spend my days driving ‘round in tanks with forty other men. When those lil gals called me over, almost felt like my old life again. I love my fans, honey, but that’s all they are. Ain’t special to me like you are.”

“Hmmmm.” She could feel herself giving in as his thumb worked its slow, rhythmic magic in circles at her waist. His thumb's movements made all her blood rush to her core, and a throbbing need mingled with the anger in her chest. He sensed her mood shifting and kissed her neck as she drove.

“Always so jealous, Bessie baby, might start to think you like me.”

Bess sighed out as he pulled her towards him tighter.

“You’re wrong, Elvis Presley,” she murmured halfheartedly. “I am just bored, passing time ‘til I get out of this hell hole. You could go off with a car full of girls and it wouldn’t bother me.”

His hand was at the side of her head, pulling her into his shoulder, stroking her hair.

“You’re so pretty when you get all riled up, Moo Moo, your cheeks get so red. It’s how I imagine you’d be -“ He paused, his voice was tender and babyish now, even as he spoke with an impish smirk, giggling at his own innuendo. “ - after chasing me down in that car fulla girls.”

Bess sat up, slapping his hand off her, no longer really mad about the girls, just his teasing. Elvis' arms were around her again in a flash, and he kissed her cheek.

 “I’m jus’ teasin’, honey. Now come on, be a good lil girl and find us a nice place to park.”

He turned the radio on, tapping once he found a station playing a song he liked, and waggling his eyebrows at Bess as he began to sing with The Clovers to “Blue Velvet.”

Bess shook her head to herself, enjoying how the night air cooled her warm, red cheeks. She had sworn that once he got back in the car, she would drop him off and not let Elvis charm her into spending the rest of the night with him. But here, now, she knew she was a goner. Her body betrayed her and the need to feel his lips on hers, as soon as possible, overrode any sense of pride or logic. She drove her blue Ford into the first dark alley she found among the armory buildings.

Awkwardly smoothing down her blouse, Bess tried not to seem excited or in a hurry as she sighed nervously and watched Elvis tilt his head toward the back seat. They wordlessly got out, and she stumbled into her open door. It was pitch black, the air was thick with anticipation, and Bess trembled as she edged along the leather. After two weeks, she still got nervous alone in the car with Elvis.

His lip hung down as he moved over and he caught her knee, lightly trailing over it before pulling her legs onto his lap. His eyes followed his fingers as they moved up her leg, sucking in his breath. Each night, without fail, his face would fill with awe when they began to fool around. He always looked like he had never touched a girl before, like she was the first woman he had ever met. Just the slightest caress seemed to light a fire in his eyes, and he slowly, reverently removed her shoes, one by one, swirling his fingers over each ankle.

They had left the radio playing, it was a doo wop program and the slow beat of a bass guitar thrummed in Bess’ ears as Elvis’ index finger begin to roll  back and forth at the edge of her skirt. His eyes met hers, looking her up and down as he sighed.

“Hey there, lil Moo Moo.” A goofy smile spread under his half-lidded eyes, and he bit his lip, looking as though he had just unearthed a secret. His hand was now on her knee, and a charged tremor flared up the back of her calves. “I’m crazy ‘bout you, honey. I need you to know it.”

The longing in his voice made Bess want to wrap her legs around Elvis’ waist and pull him on top of her. Draw him as close as possible, flip over and crush him into the leather seat, getting as close as she possibly could until the car shook with the sounds of their love making. Instead, Bess took a deep breath and tried to embody an appealing, modest restraint.

“I’m sorry, Elvis, sorry for giving you a hard time. And for eating all the chocolates.”

He leaned over her, and his warm breath hit her ear as he whispered.

 “I know baby, s’ok. I forgive you. You gonna be a good lil girl from now on?”

“Mmmhmmm.” She answered in her own babying voice, not questioning where that affect came from or why she suddenly seemed to find their childish repartee so enticing.

Elvis’ lips brushed over her neck, followed by a succession of kisses that started out soft and slow and then gradually became deeper. Bess fell down onto the white leather seat, her breaths loud and shallow as she unbuttoned his work coat, lifting her bottom to help Elvis as he pulled her nylons off. She laughed when they got tangled and he had to turn and look at what he was doing, swearing as he threw them to the ground.

 “Damn mosquito netting. Where were we?”

Bess cupped his cheek, bringing him back to her lips.

“Here.” She swallowed into his smug expression while his right hand moved up her thigh, teasing her over her panties before he smiled wider at the way she rolled her hips to welcome his touch. He dragged his knuckles delicately over her center and Bess felt a bulge growing against her knee when Elvis looked down where his hand was.

“Man oh man.”

He raised his eyebrow as his fingers slipped inside her and she responded with an upward thrust, turning her face into his left arm at the sensation. Elvis kissed her check, gliding his fingers further into her, slowly probing her delicately and lingering over her bundle of nerves, repeating the movements that provoked a response.

Bess tried to remember the last time a man had touched her. This was no impatient swiping on the way to quick sex. Ben had made the effort to please her, though he had always seemed preoccupied, like he was making a grocery list while he muddled along with his fingers. She had had to do a lot of work twisting and turning to get the angle right. Elvis was right there, absorbing every twitch, every gasp, every clench as she pivoted his fingers toward what she liked. No one had ever touched her like this and it felt so satisfying that Bess couldn’t stop herself from grabbing him as she moaned out. Her hands were on his back, through his hair, in his mouth while he watched with concentration, his lips opening and closing with a gasp as she moved her knee back and forth over his groin.

“You are so soft, Moo Moo.” He brought his fingers out momentarily and Bess’ jaw dropped as she watched him suck on his index and forefinger, covering them in his saliva and grinning as he brought his hand back to slide easily inside her. “Sweet, too, baby, sweetest girl I ever met.”

Bess blushed, deeper, harder, redder than ever, and buried her head into Elvis' forearm. It was almost too much, to feel Elvis’ finger rolling over her slick nub, slow and steady, like he was canoeing them intently down a lazy river, strumming her like a banjo. Each stroke brought her closer to home, and a warm tingling sensation hummed up to her throat and made her moan out a guttural melody just for him. His eyes never left hers, and his chest pushed harder and harder into her with each exhale. It was the most intimate, vulnerable and intense experience Bess had ever had. She felt him grind harder against her knee, breaking their eye contact to drop his forehead on to hers with a loud groan.

Their bodies shifted back and forth together and the car swelled with the sound of their savage breathing. The smell of aftershave, Chanel No. 5 talcum powder, tank grease and sweat filled Bess’ nostrils, and heightened the aching, sparking heat in her chest. She pulled Elvis to her, meeting his lips as he stroked her until the bow broke and waves of electricity vibrated through her body. She cried to heaven above and hell below, drowning out the sound of the music playing on the radio, the sound of the car seat heaving up and down, the sound of Elvis’ chuckles as he held her, looking down at her with wide puppy dog eyes full of satisfaction and appreciation. As if she had been the one pleasing him.

Bess realized how much she had satisfied him when she noticed a wet, gooey stain on his pants as she lay in Elvis’ arms, nuzzling her forehead against his chest. She palmed her hand over it, smiling up at him.

“Maybe I should keep an extra uniform in my car for you?”

He played with her hair, grinning into her eyes.

“Nah, it’ll dry. Sides, it’s dark, no one will know what we been up to.” He took a deep breath, another chortle escaped his lips. “S’nice a you to offer, though. Guess I know what I have to do to get you to be a nice lil girl for me.”

“Hush.” Bess hit him, but she couldn’t help but sigh affectionately. “Though, gee whiz, Elvis. I never felt like that before.”

“Aw, there she is, there’s a good lil Moo Moo.” He kissed her head. “Why, she’s the sweetest lil Moo cow in the whole wide world. Gotta take care a my Moo Moo, cuz she takes such good care me.”

All Bess could do was sink into him further, allowing his babyish voice to lull her into a calm, relaxed state. She started playing with the lining of his undershirt, asking him about their plans to be together over the weekend. 

In her more reserved moments, Bess stopped herself from prodding Elvis for future plans because she did not want to seem needy or anxious or too invested. She left it to him. She didn’t want to give him the power of knowing how much she liked him. This tryst was temporary, she knew how this worked: he would go on leave back to Memphis, and then, before she knew it he’d be off to Germany.

But when she was with him, in his embrace, all of her worries seemed to dissolve. Bess didn’t think about her mother’s troubles, her father’s expectations, how Ben had broken her heart or anything upsetting. Here, in the cozy afterglow of loving making, she felt completely at ease and her subconscious snuck out, seeking opportunities to be with him as much as possible. Her hand smoothed over his shirt as she looked up at him with a breezy, carefree grin.

“Want me to pick you up tomorrow?”

“Nah, honey, my friend has my new white Caddy, so I’ll be coming’ round to pick you up from now on.”

“What time d’you think you’ll come by?”

“Don know, ‘zactly, but I’ll call you. Reckon it’ll be after 5, most likely.”

 “I should write down my number.” She started to sit up, but Elvis held her tight and kissed her nose.

“Nah, Moo Moo, jus’ tell me, I’ll ‘member it.”

Bess squinted up incredulously, but soon he was repeating it back to her, tickling her and telling her to be a good girl and trust him.

“I got it, locked down up here, baby.” He pointed to his head, and Bess shrugged, sitting up and swaying to the sounds of the song “Devil or Angel.”

“Aw, I love this song.”

Elvis followed suit, joining her upright on the bench seat and grinning as he tucked in his shirt and straightened his tie as he sang along. Bess smiled inwardly at his silly, melodramatic expression, he was clearly trying to impress her. She grinned wider when she realized that they were on opposite sides of the seat from when they had first moved back there, and she smooshed into him with a light kiss. He returned it, and they started to paw at each other again, tongues meeting and gently exploring each other until Bess pushed off, trying to be sensible and move them out of the car.

 “You better go, Tupelo.”

Elvis followed her, kissing the knuckles over her hand as they said their goodnights against her car, hips pushing up against hips.

“Always takin’ such good care a me, Moo Moo. I jus’ know. God sent you to take care of me. Wish I could just stay with you always. I hate to leave.” He murmured, pouting. “I don know how I’m gonna make it through the night without you, baby. Gonna be dreamin’ ‘bout you.” His lip curled up at the left side. “And how sweet ya taste.”

Elvis dodged her had as she tried to hit his arm. “Tomorrow can’t come soon enough, Moo Moo. Mmhhmmm, better have that sweet lil honey pot all dressed up and ready for a party. Wanna show you off to my friends.”

Bess blushed and waved him away, though she couldn’t stop herself from rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet from excitement. This last week she had felt like a phoenix, rising from the ashes of last summer’s devastating heartbreak and all the self destructive behavior that had followed.

Being with Elvis was a restorative tonic, and she couldn’t wait to spend the night with him Saturday. It meant something that he invited her to meet his friends; it was an acknowledgment, a validation, a way of telling her that he didn’t just see her as someone to fool around with in a dark car. It meant that he really liked her. That she really was special to him.

 ********************************************************

Saturday, April 12, 1958

9:47 a.m.  The Schwartz Residence

The house smelled like spiced ginger. It was one of those days when Mama had risen at dawn and baked enough food to feed the entire base. There were loaves of ginger bread, banana bread, rugelach, oatmeal cookies and some sort of roast was slowly cooking in the oven. Their kitchen had always been the heart of Bess’ family, not only was it where she learned to cook at her mother’s apron strings, but it is also where Mama taught her to draw, read and knit. Papa had taught her and Kay German by only speaking German to them in the house until they were fluent. However, it was at the kitchen table with Mama where Bess perfected her German. This was where Mama had helped her with her German homework and essays. With all of her work, with all of her problems. 

Mama’s parents were second generation German Jews, and before she met Papa, Mama had played piano in Zayde’s Brooklyn vaudeville theatre, where all six kids in Mama’s family had eventually gone to work. Papa enjoyed regaling his daughters with the story of how he had met a dark, beautiful woman on the Coney Island midway who had captured his heart when she helped him buy tickets after no one understand his broken English. She had spoken to him in German, and it was the first time he’d felt welcomed and safe in America. Two weeks later he had asked her to marry him. Mama had thrown herself into domestic life after the wedding, and then into factory life during the war, always somehow managing to keep things taped together through military moves back and forth across the country.

Bess often wondered when Papa realized how different Mama was from other women, because most of the time, her mental condition was fairly obtuse and could be understood as harmless whimsy. For Bess, it was a mainstay of her childhood. 

Mama had always spoken so casually of the hidden meanings she saw in the world, the faeries and demons that spoke to her, that when Bess was little, she had assumed something was wrong with her and waited impatiently for her own visions. It was not until she was twelve, after Mama had dug up the whole back yard one night and chopped off all their electrical wires to stop the demons from tormenting her, that Papa took her and Kay aside and explained that Mama had to go live at a health farm for the summer and Aunt Rachel would be coming from New York to take care of them.

Thus began a long series of stays at different experimental sanitariums and institutions over the last ten years. The most recent had been in November, a month-long stay at a small resort in Eureka Springs Arkansas, and Mama had returned fatter, calmer and filled with zeal about the wonders of natural hot spring bathing. But Mama was still Mama, and the battle for good and evil was still playing out in front of her eyes through the words and whispers and visions that she alone experienced. Bess was grateful that, for whatever reason, the demons had been staying mostly at bay. The faeries, on the other hand, had been quite vocal.

Mama turned as Bess entered the kitchen, and brought her daughter some coffee while she caressed Bess’ cheek with her hand.

“Oh Bessie, you’ve been looking radiant lately. The faeries have been murmuring.” She trailed her fingers over the large curlers in Bess’ hair. “They tell me you have a new beau.”

Bess blushed, responding sheepishly. “No mama, I’m  - I’m - just going out tonight. With friends. Where’s Papa?”

“Oh he went fishing with some of the German studies instructors, they took three barrels of beer and a tent, so they might stay at the lake. “

Mama kissed Bess’ forehead and then sipped her own coffee.

“It is going to be a full moon tonight, Bessie. You are positively glowing, my girl. I think the moon goddess wants to have her way with you, you have to be careful. She is a tricky one, she plays with us mere mortals for amusement.”

Bess blushed, thinking of Elvis and her own hopes and desires for the night. A shiver of anticipation went through her body and she giggled, nervously.

“Hmmm, well, we’ll see, Mama, maybe I can outsmart her.”

Mama stood, following as Bess took her coffee and bread to the secretary’s desk in the hall, and winking at her daughter.

“No one can outsmart the mistress of the moon, Bess, she controls the oceans and with it, the waves within us. The water that drums in our ears and thrashes us forward. The current that pulls at our heart. And her power is strongest at the full moon, beware her riptide.”

Bess watched as her mother turned into the living room with a flourish and then filled the house with Rachmaninoff’s loud, romantic piano music. 

Bess couldn’t help going into her evaluative mindset and pondering whether Mama was having a good day, baking and playing the piano, or whether she was hurtling towards a manic episode. She looked at the clock, and decided she would have to wait and see, but she prepared herself to cancel the whole night if need be. Right now, she would go ahead as planned, and called her friend James to beg him for help finalizing her outfit.

“I need a man’s opinion, that’s why.”

“Bess, trust me, whatever dress you wear, Elvis’ only thought is going to be how quickly he can get it off."

“Jameson!” Bess spoke in a hushed murmur as she rocked her chair back against the wall. “I don’t even know what is going to happen, he is an odd duck when it comes to fooling around.” James was silent. “Great, so you’ll be here at 5?”

“Bess, I love you but I am not getting involved. Didn’t you say he’s picking you up at 5?”

“He said he would call after 5, and I’ve been thinking, you should pick me up and drop me off, then I’ll get a cab home or something. I don’t want my folks to know about Elvis -”

“Bess, the General probably already -”

“Just be here at 5, James. I’m going to get my nails done and pick up a few things. Wait, better make it 4:30, just in case - ok? Please? You know I never ask for anything.”

Bess looked at the nails on her right hand, turning them over, trying to banish James’ suggestion that her father probably already knew that she was spending time with Elvis Presley. Yes, he trained officers to gather intelligence, but Papa could be quite blind about their home life. She rocked back and forth on the chair, noticing that her mother’s piano serenade in the living room had moved from Russia to Brooklyn. She was playing Gershwin now. 

This is good sign, Bess thought, happy, lighthearted Gershwin was one of Mama’s favorites. Then Bess realized after a few bars that it was “The Man I Love,” and she pursed her lips at her mother’s teasing.

“But you always ask. For everything. ‘James, take me to the dance, James, let’s go out dancing in Austin, James deliver me to Elvis Presley’s motel room - ’ ”

“Stop, you know you love it. Otherwise you’d be bored out of your mind, as you refuse to have a love life of your own.”

“That’s what you think, Schwartz. I have a vast, secret love life that I keep from you.”

Bess grinned. “Good, you can tell me all about it when I see you at 4:30. Make that 4. And if you don’t show, I’ll inform the General that you stood me up!”

Smiling wider at her friend’s groans, Bess hopped up with purpose, thinking that it was time to wash off her facial mask and make a list of all the things she needed to do to get ready by four.

“It’s settled then. James, you’re a dream, see you at 4.”

***********************************************

Saturday, April 12, 1958

3:58 p.m.  The Schwartz Residence

It was Kay who opened the door when James arrived, smart and debonair in his officer’s uniform with his hair coiffed and parted perfectly. Bess bounced down the stairs, beaming wide at James’ high whistle as she twirled around for him.

“Gee Schwartz, I think you might need to drive tonight. That dress just kicked me in the head.”

Bess did a two step in her cocktail dress, trying not to notice the way her sister rolled her eyes as she shut the front door.

 “You don’t have to be nice, Captain, you can tell her she needs to wear something more colorful, more over the top, more like what Elvis wears in civilian life. I’ve been telling her all afternoon.”

James tilted his head towards Kay, “So I’m guessing the kid knows.”

Bess shrugged, “Yeah, oy. But thank god Papa took Colonel Zimmermann and some of the new teachers fishing. Mama’s out back painting, she’s been on one today. Baked up a storm, if you want something sweet.”

James shook his head, letting Bess lead the way upstairs. “Your mom is too smart, Bess. So is your pop. I’m happy to be your beard, but if they don’t already know you are dating Elvis Presley, they are gonna get wise sooner or later.”

Kay laughed, “Mama already knows something is up, Bess has been putting way more attention into her appearance this week and coming home late every night. Just today, she curled her hair, then decided to go to the salon and have her hair set anyway. And she tried on about 100 dresses, just so everything’s perfect.” Kay said, in a sing-song voice.

“I’m not dating Elvis, you guys. I’m just spending time with him. And, Kay, I think you are exaggerating. I was having my nails done at the beauty parlor anyway.” 

Bess held out her hands for James’ inspection. She felt a deep sense of satisfaction at the dark burgundy color, and she had liked it so much she matched her lipstick to it. There was something about a fresh nail lacquer that always made Bess feel more adult, more confident.

“Let me show you the whole get-up with these low heeled pumps on, though I have some other shoe options.” She slipped on her heels, and twirled around again, as James went to sit on her bed next to Kay. “There, now, James, as a man, what do you really think? Too simple? He said to dress up.”

James looked Bess up and down as Kay snickered, prompting a quick kick to her shin.

“No, it’s perfect Bess. With that neckline? And the way it crisscrosses in the middle, and your hair? You look like Ava Gardner. It’s not too simple, it’s sexy. Sexy as hell. But you need a necklace.”

James stood, and went to Bess’ vanity, pulling out her pearl necklace from her jewelry box, and beckoning her over. He fastened it around her neck from behind, then put in the matching earrings, carefully, before stepping back with a whistle to let Bess look at herself in the mirror.

“There now. You're a goddess. I dare him not to whisk you away and ravage you the moment he sees you. It’s wholesome and it’s sexy all at once.”

Bess smiled and took her friend’s hand, whispering a shy, blushing thank you. They sat up there, listening to records as Bess modeled a few other shoe options and asked whether she should wear gloves. Ultimately, all parties involved agreed gloves were too formal for a motel party.

It was 5:15 when they went back downstairs and settled in the kitchen, sampling some of the rugelach as they waited for Elvis’ call. 

By 6:15, they had moved to the living room and Papa’s bar, where Bess made Tom Collins for everyone, which now included Mama and Dickey, who had come by to take Kay out to a drive-in movie. 

At 7, Mama began to ask if James and Bess wanted dinner, she was slow cooking a roast for Sunday, but could fry up some cold meatloaf sandwiches.

“No thanks, Mama, we’re just waiting to hear from the friends we’re meeting.” Bess stumbled through a sorry excuse for a story about two friends from high school who had to work later than expected. James gave Bess a supportive look, and after her mother left the living room, reassured her that a number of things could have happened with the drill sergeant overseeing Elvis’ dismissal.

“He could be stuck on KP duty, maybe he got held back because the others played a prank on him. You know how unpredictable those battalion sergeants can be. Let’s relax and turn on the boob tube.”

Bess nodded, made another round of Tom Collins, and settled in to watch Art Linkletter's amateur comedy show, trying very hard not to think about how it was almost 8 p.m. 

At 9 James began his campaign to convince Bess something must have kept Elvis on base, and that they should get out of the house. Get burgers at Millie’s Diner or go for a drive out to the Waco Wet Dog. 

At 9:30, Bess caved, and ran upstairs to take off her pearls and change into a more casual, purple swing dress. While changing, she began to mull over a secondary plan that was forming in her head, and she carried the entire display case of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups she’d bought with her to James’ car.

“What’s with the candy?” James looked over his shoulder as he careened his car around towards downtown Killeen.

“It’s sort of a joke, I um, I ate all his peanut butter cups the other night. I- I thought it would be a gas if I showed up with an entire case.”

James looked over at Bess, and rubbed her shoulder. “And what, you think we should eat them instead?”

“Well, what if he couldn’t get to a phone? Or got too caught up with his friends or whatever? He was pretty insistent that he wanted to see me tonight. I was thinking...” Bess looked down with a sigh, then back up at James, her eyes dark with determination. “What about just driving by the Star Motel on the way home. What do you think, as a man, how would you feel if I just showed up?”

James could see Bess’ confidence waver, but he couldn’t bear to talk her down, not after everything he had watched he go through over the last year. So he banished his own misgivings and squeezed her hand. “Honey, any man upset to see you walk in would be crazy. But let’s get some grub first, ok?”

***********************************************

Saturday, April 12, 1958

11:05 p.m.  The Star Motel, on the outskirts of Killeen TX towards Waco

The air was cool now, and Bess’ mother had been right, it was a full moon that shone over them, illuminating the farms off in the distance on the road to Waco. The Star Motel was a two-storey building with rooms along the inside and outside that wrapped around a large pool. 

Bess sat in the car, stomach churning, suddenly unsure if this was a good idea. They had definitely spotted a new, white Cadillac packed in the back lot with a temporary license plate. Which was both promising and unsettling, because it meant Elvis was probably there but hadn't called her. Bess suddenly wished she hadn't found it, but she was also unable to just slide back and tell James to take her home now that she knew Elvis was probably here.

Adrenaline was coursing through her veins and the cocktails had dulled her inhibitions.There was a giddy, bubbly feeling at the top of her head that egged her on and told her that he had invited her, had been adamant about wanting to see her, “show her off,” telling her she was special to him, that he was crazy about her. 

Maybe it was the full moon after all. Whatever it was, every cell in Bess’ body compelled her curiosity and her desire. She had to know, and she needed to feel his touch once more; that voice and that face and those hands that took her away from her difficult, tiresome existence. 

Taking a deep breath, she felt almost like a force behind herself was propelling her out of the car, and she only hesitated at the sound of James’ voice.

“Bess, come out and let me know, ok? This place is always crawling with creeps, so if you don’t come out here and give me the old heave ho in the next 15 minutes, I’m going to come find you. I won’t care about locked doors.”

Bess nodded back into the car with a bright, broad smile, and then strode over the grass and into the side corridor of the motel, avoiding the office. 

Walking past the first set of rooms, she came to a breezeway and paused, leaning against the decorative, concrete screen in the middle to calm and prepare what she would say to Elvis. She was certain they were a few doors down, she could hear a group of male voices jamming and she perked up, clutching her box of chocolates closer to her bosom at the sound of Elvis’ low voice singing no more than twenty feet away. 

That was when she heard heels clicking down the breezeway, and turned to find a small, petite blonde in a pink dress walking towards her with an exaggerated flounce in her hips and an ice bucket resting at her waist. Bess' chest tightened when she recognized Anita Wood from the movie magazine photos. Magazine photos of Anita Wood out on dates around Memphis with her boyfriend Elvis Presley.

Anita flashed Bess a dazzling grin that displayed the whitest, straightest teeth Bess had ever seen. “I swear, I walked all over creation looking for that dag gum ice machine, and you know where it is? Where these rocket scientists thought to themselves, why this is the best place to put it? Up behind the cigarette machine, on the back of it. Completely outta sight. Can you believe that?”

“Um yeah, I mean no, ugh. Idiots, I bet it was cheaper to wire it back there, or something.”

Bess wiped the sides of her eyes, willing herself not to cry, not to linger on how this proved that she was just another girl to Elvis, and definitely not preferable to the gorgeous beauty queen in front of her. Anita’s face fell as she looked up at Bess.

“Oh honey, are you ok? Why, you know you’d just feel better if you just let it all out.” Anita pulled a pink handkerchief with lace trim from her bust, replete with a monogrammed A.W. “Here, now, you can cry with me here, ain’t no one but us chickens.”

“Is it that obvious I'm upset?” Bess tried to chuckle, watching Anita’s face change to a confused frown as she noticed the box of Reese’s.

“Hey - what’s with the candy? Are you meeting someone here?”

Bess shifted, working against those cocktails to think on her feet and also play dumb about the suspicion she saw in Anita’s eyes. “Oh, ha, no. These are for me. I, um, I live here in town with my folks, and I just checked in here because, well, I needed to get away for the night and drown my sorrows in chocolate, if you know what I mean. Just learned my fiancee married another girl he met in Germany. Men, huh? What are they good for?”

Anita stepped forward and rubbed Bess’ shoulder as more tears fell down her cheeks.

“Well, God made men for a reason, sometimes I think it was to test our womanly resolve. Oh honey, I cannot imagine what that would feel like, to have a man wrong you so. Ain’t no dirtier dog than a man who breaks that sacred promise. But I tell you what.” She took the box of Reese’s from Bess' arm. “You cannot sacrifice your figure over a man. Nu huh. No way, Jose. Why, that won’t do nothing to get back at him, it’ll only hurt you and your future prospects. My heart is telling me that I cannot stand by and let you go eat all this candy and feel sorry for yourself, honey. That is the devil whispering in your ear.”

Anita trotted over to the trash can and Bess groaned inwardly as she watched a woman dispose of Elvis’ chocolates for the second time that week. Though she conceded that Anita was right, she didn’t really want to go home and eat them all. Well, she did. But she knew she would regret it.

What could she do, offer them knowingly to Anita to take to her boyfriend? The thought made her smile, which Anita, of course, assumed was a reaction to her kind, Christian gesture. Still holding her ice bucket, Anita patted Bess on her shoulder.

“See, I can tell you’re feeling better already now that the temptation has been removed. We women have to stick together. You should take a nice long bath, it will do wonders, much more healing than candy. Whenever I get upset, I have a good cry, get it all out, then take a nice hot shower.” She winked at Bess, and Bess wondered if Anita did the same things in the shower that Bess did to make herself feel better. Maybe that was why God made showers?

Anita smiled wider as Bess wiped her eyes, and mustered a feeble grin, which encouraged her to continue dispensing advice.

“Yessirree, you’ll feel better once you wash that man right out of your hair and start over again. Pretty girl like you, why, if you lost five pounds, you’d have your pick of the litter.” Bess flinched when Anita pinched her waist playfully, and was lost for words as her heart jumped into her throat with embarrassment at how much thicker she was than the petite blonde. Insecurity clouded her head and she was almost unable to hear the rest of what Anita said.

“Just stay away from big boxes of candy, and other temptations Satan might throw at you. Then, I bet you dollars to doughnuts, that boy will regret his decision. The best revenge is to find someone better and shove it in his face. Make sure to take out a big ole wedding announcement in the paper That'll make you feel much better.” 

Anita left Bess with a wink and a parting squeeze to her arm, as Bess murmured a low thank you. She wiped her eyes and gathered her wits, then, when she was sure Anita was gone, she dug the box of chocolate out of the trashcan and tucked the rescued candy under her arm.

Straightening her dress as she sat down in James' car, Bess popped a Reese’s in her mouth and decided on how she would respond to her friend's questions.

“I ran into one of his girlfriends in the hallway.”

“Oh Bess, no, he didn’t! I’ve half a mind to go back and beat that hillbilly senseless.”

Bess shook her head, extending her arm out of the window and dropping Anita’s pink, embroidered handkerchief into a puddle of mud on the side of the road as they drove back to her house.

“Don’t, Elvis did me a favor. He reminded me why I don’t date soldiers.”

**************************************************************

taglist:

@eliseinmemphis @ab4eva @kingdomforapony @everythingelvispresley @richardslady121 @dkayfixates @artlover8992 @peskybedtime @freudianslumber @amydarcimarie @toreigh @18lkpeters @yynneessmons @lookingforrainbows @prompted-wordsmith @ashtag6887 @waiting4brucewayne2adoptme @returntopresley @girlbossdyke @rjmartin11 @bigromansgirl-blog @louisejoy86 @notstefaniepresley

Let me know if you would like to be added to the tag list.

Comments and reblogs are very much appreciated.

[fleetwood-cheese]

This is really random but I saw your reblog tags on my Sherliam coffee and tea post and that was very fun to read! Also thanks for looking at and enjoying the details 😆❤️

I’d also thought similarly, Sherlock is probably a lot more whatever when it comes to brewing tea LOL.

Love these hyper fixating nerds

Sherlock’s tea making methods probably give Louis an aneurism and also another reason to kill him lmao. I’m a long time, die-hard tea fan but only started buying loose leaf regularly very recently so William is very relatable. idk how many times ive done the math on how many tsp of tea i need for my teapot and i STILL think im getting the ratio wrong, but im also not a mathematician like he is so i’ll give myself some leeway.

But yeah i love your art!!! I only really got into moriarty this past november so finding someone who’s still into it and actively making such lovely art for it was really heartening to me tbh. I know how much it means to an artist to get feedback on work so i try to leave comments when i can

[princess-pine-cone]

AO3 wrapped!

How many words have you written this year? 132,943

How many works did you publish this year? - Twelve!

What work are you most proud of? - I’m pretty proud of my ElevenRose fic the girl who didn’t have to wait! It’s a silly AU I never expected anyone to care about but yeah!

What work of yours has the most hits? - A Harry Potter one I’d rather not talk about. I’ve moved on!

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? - As I said already, I really wasn’t expecting the girl who didn’t have to wait to pop off, but I’m super proud of it!

Favorite title you used - The Second Monopoly Incident made me laugh when I thought of it

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most? - I don't use song lyrics, but I listened to so much Kesha while writing lmao

Pairing you wrote the most for this year? - TIMEPETALS MY BELOVED

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? - I ONLY WROTE TWO BUT TIMEPETALS TOPS

What work was the quickest to write? - It was never meant to happen was a drabble so that one

What work took you the longest to write? - NESTING TOOK ME FOR FOOKIN EVER ONLY TO GET SEVEN KUDOS (Tbf the ship isn’t even a tag soooo)

How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year? - 0-0 too many

What’s your longest work of the year? - The girl who didn’t have to wait at somewhere around 60k!

What’s your shortest work of the year? - It was never meant to happen

What WIP are you taking into next year with you? - GIRL WHO DIDN’T HAVE TO WAIT BABYYYYYY

What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag? - Bisexual Rose Tyler, not because it’s important to the fic, but because it’s important to me

Your favorite character to write this year? - LITTLE AMY POND she’s practically a self insert for little me so yeah

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? - Reinette is driving me batty currently

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? - Timepetals. They’re my vibe rn

Which work of yours have you reread the most? - The girl who didn’t have to wait gets reread regularly because of continuity

How many kudos in total did you get this year? - 1,099!

Which work has the most comments? - The girl who didn’t have to waits comments outweigh kudos

Did you do any collaborative works this year? - nooooo I’m bad at those

Did you write any gifts this year? - Yes!! One for Bobcatblah who was having an awful day, and one for Caedmon to entice her back to the fandom like its a trail of cookies make her feel better too!

Did you receive any gifts this year? - No lol, I’m always the gifter cause im good at it

What’s your most common category? - Hmmm het this year I think, but can Rose/Doctor really be counted as het when the Doc is genderqueer?

What do you listen to while writing? - KESHA and silence.

Favorite work you wrote this year? - The girl who didn’t have to wait will always take out that title

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? - “Amy, wait up love!” Rose called as the excitable nine year old bounded away from the TARDIS. Unfortunately as children’s ears are purely ornamental, Amy ignored Rose and continued her galloping pace right up to Jackies flat. Rose sighed, but had been expecting nothing less, and so increased her own speed to a jog.

Biggest surprise while writing this year? - Hmm probably just how much I actually enjoy writing!

[mykpopwire]

exclusive interview: MY K-POP WIRE x BLITZERS

BLITZERS returned with a brand new album [LUNCH-BOX] on June 19th.

BLITZERS members share more about their music, daily life, appearance on Britain's Got Talent, and more while answering the questions from BLEE.

✨From CHRIS✨

[@blitzersGAY] Has any specific song inspired you lately?

"Love" by Keyshia Cole. The song is really good. It's a great song to listen to when you're excited!

[@blitzersfiIes] How do you manage your energy and stamina during tours?

I make sure to eat well and exercise regularly to maintain my energy and stamina!

[@e_e__am] Do you have any favourite lyrics in any one of the new songs?

From our latest song “SUPERPOWER,” my favourite lyrics is the one that says, “There’s power in small things (작은 것들에 힘이 있어)”!

[@itzyblitz] Is there a music genre you haven’t tried yet that you really want to?

I usually like and enjoy listening to hip-hop, so I'd like to try hip-hop if possible! Or I'd like to try EDM too!

[@starblitzers] What was the experience of performing on Britain’s Got Talent like?

I was worried at first, but I was confident, so I practiced hard and had a lot of fun on the show!

[@jjongpie] If you could relive any concert you have done, which one would you relive?

I remember all our concerts, but I want to go to America where my parents are and have another concert!

[@prettyboysya] Which member sleeps in the funniest position?

I think it’s WOOJU! We’re roommates, so I sometimes see him sleeping, and he does Muay Thai in his sleep!

✨From JINHWA✨

[@blitzersGAY] What’s your favourite thing about this new album?

Among all the things from this album, I like the outfit for BOX's version the most!

[@e_e__am] What would you put into your lunchbox?

I want to put LA galbi!

[@blitzersfiIes] How do you feel when BLEE tell you how much you’ve inspired and helped them?

I don't know how to express it, but the fact that our fans say they were influenced by us is the whole reason why I continue promoting as BLITZERS.

[@marcusina_] How do you deal with negative comments and how do you motivate yourself to keep getting better?

I think that if you ignore the nuances of the things that you’re criticized for no reason and just focus on the helpful content, negative comments are also good feedbacks.

[@chiwoodle] How would you rate your experience on Britain’s Got Talent?

It was an experience that gave me a sense of accomplishment in challenges.

[@hoonyversee] What would you like to achieve by 2024 as BLITZERS?

I want to go on concert tours at various places!

[@Lunarsolar_cute] A concert on the moon or a concert at the bottom of the ocean?

Concert on the moon! I think it’d be less difficult to perform on the moon, haha.

✨From JUHAN✨

[@jjongpie] Is there anywhere in the world where you dream of performing a concert in?

I love every stage because they are all precious, but I personally dream of performing at the Super Bowl! I watched The Weeknd, an artist I respect, perform there, and it was so cool.

[@tannietooz] What song do you never get tired of performing?

Among our songs, the most exciting one, “Macarena”!

[@thicccamisul] What has been your happiest moment as an idol?

Performing with fans is what makes me happy.

[@Manar669] How do you prepare mentally and physically for a comeback?

As for this album, since it has been quite a long time since we met our fans, we tried to communicate a lot, and we workout to have strength to show those who are watching our performance.

[@Bleeverse_] What is the hardest choreography out of all your songs?

I think “BOBBIN (끄덕끄덕끄덕)” is a really hard song to do both sing and performance together.

[@withyunsik] What would it be like for you to be the maknae for a day?

If I were to become the maknae, I’d like to speak informally to the older members and pretend I didn’t.

[@vishythefishy_] If you were a piece of furniture, what would you be and why?

Umm.. I'll be the curtain! Feel free to use me whenever needed.

✨From SYA✨

[@jinbeomiee] What was your favourite part of the production of the songs?

I especially liked the lyric “Life is beautiful (인생은 아름다워)” in SUPERPOWER.

[@minhlvrs] What inspires you to be an idol?

I think being able to keep releasing albums and have the opportunities to meet with our fans are what motivates me.

[@SeptemberP1H] Are there any projects outside of music that you would like to try in the future?

I haven't thought of any other paths or projects other than music yet!

[@glamhoon] How would you like your music to influence your fans?

I hope that the messages we want to convey through each of our music are well conveyed to the fans as well.

[@sya_mpoo] If you could meet your younger self what is one thing you really want to tell them?

I want to tell me, "Don't doubt yourself, trust yourself and move forward."

[@blitzersfiIes] What’s the most important message you want to convey through your music and career?

I want to continue to deliver positive energy and various messages to our fans.

[@tannietooz] If BLEE was an emoji, what emoji would we be and why?

‘🥳’. Because just the presence of BLEE makes me feel motivated and happy!

✨From LUTAN✨

[@ana_guerrero10] What is your favourite moment when it comes to recording music videos?

This wasn't included in this music video, so it came out in our behind-the-scenes video. The most fun moment was when we went back to our childhood and played with water guns.

[@Lunarsolar_cute] If you could swap positions with one member, who would it be and why?

I'd like to swap position with JUHAN. I'm currently in the maknae line, but I'd like to be looked up to as the oldest member of the hyung line.

[@ilovyoumin] How has becoming an idol changed your life?

First of all, I think I started my social life earlier than my normal peers, so my sense of responsibility grew and matured faster. And since I’m doing what I like as a job, I often have fun and happy times.

[@starblitzers] What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you talk about BLEE?

The first thing that comes to mind is my gratitude.

[@irt497] What personal achievement are you most proud of?

When I was in high school, I became interested in physics and focused only on that subject even though I knew nothing about it, and I’m still proud of the fact that I got good grades.

[@joongswifee] What’s a song you could listen to all day and not get tired of?

BLITZERS’ SUPERPOWER?!

[@daidaiskee] If you could have an exotic animal as a pet, which one would you choose?

I’ll pick monkey!

✨From WOOJU✨

[@blitzersfiIes] What’s an iconic moment in your career that you’ll never forget?

Doing shows with BLEE.

[@LvLyACE] What song do you think represent BLITZERS the best?

Our comeback song, “SUPERPOWER.” It's because we're brimming with exciting energy after “Macarena.”

[@Bleeverse_] If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

I’ll choose meat! I think I can eat meat without getting tired of it.

[@blitzersfiIes] How do you feel when BLEE tell you how much you’ve inspired and helped them?

I want to express how thankful I am because I feel BLEE is the reason I’m here.

[@starblitzers] What do you usually do on a stressful day?

Going out for a walk helps me to organize my thoughts and relieve stress.

[@tannietooz] What’s a concept you’ve never tried but would like to?

Honestly! I'm still thinking about it.

[@saythenaim_17] Which of you fights more often, and who wins?

There is no win or lose. We fight because we just want to play around with each other!

Watch BLITZERS 'SUPERPOWER' MV here!

*photo courtesy of WUZO ENTERTAINMENT

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[maximotts]

Really quick before I go to bed because this boils in my more whenever anyone asks me about where whatever fic has gone/what happened to updates:

A lot of people have been asking for my confessions series to come back and I just have to say that part of the reason I stopped posting it regularly/have no real motivation to publish it anymore is because there were fairly low interactions for each chapter. I didn’t really feel bad about putting it on indefinite hiatus because it didn’t seem like it would matter to most people?

I’d been so excited to share this story and between the notifs ratios/low feedback/chapters being flagged within hours, it killed my love for the series and when I realized what was happening, I stopped posting the chapters so I could fall in love with my own work again. And it worked! I adore that AU and writing it at my own pace and talking about it with my friends, etc.

But it’s crazy to me that so many people ask when it’s coming back/why it’s stopped while continuing to like,, Not interact with the parts of the series that are posted?

I’m not saying I need anyone to flood me with notifications to get me to post because I make it my policy now to post on my own terms in order to protect my own love of writing/what I write, but basically.. don’t be confused when a series you supposedly love and miss stops updating when you don’t show that you care while someone is putting in time and effort into putting out content for you. Don’t wait for writers get discouraged or burnt out before you show your support.

[bonni]

Hii Bonni different anon here with a genuine question - I’d love to hear what you think about the difference between “process addiction” (porn, gambling, etc) and “chemical addiction” (heroin, alcohol, etc). Is one more clinically “legitimate” than the other?

It's not so much that one is more legitimate than the other, and in fact there are huge problems in terms of how we understand both.

The concept of chemical addiction has been greatly misconstrued by anti-drug initiatives and pharmacological organizations. Drugs are not inherently addictive, even powerful ones like opioids and heroin; anti-drug initiatives tells us that drug addiction is caused primarily by chemical factors, i.e. you try a drug once, it alters the chemistry of your brain, you begin to crave it. This is a gross oversimplification of how drug addiction operates. Consider: people in hospitals are regularly given morphine for pain relief, but those people don't become addicted to painkillers. Since the beginning of human existence, we have found ways to use substances recreationally; but not everyone who drinks alcohol becomes an alcoholic, not everyone who smokes weed develops and addiction, and not everyone who receives a prescription for opioids after a surgery becomes dependent on them long-term. Drug addiction is much better understood as a social phenomenon. People may turn to drugs because they are struggling in life, and drugs can increase their productivity or alleviate their physical or emotional pain; eventually, if they find themselves using these drugs more and more, they develop a tolerance, and have to take larger and larger quantities of said drugs to achieve the same effects. They may also turn to stronger drugs that are more expensive or have harsher side effects. If you'd like to learn more about the social model of drug addiction, Chasing the Scream by Johann Hari is an easy read and a good entry text.

The social model gives us a lens through which to understand behavioral addictions as well, such as gambling. The use of an addiction model to understand gambling problems is well-researched and falls in line with how we understand addiction as a relationship to criminality and as a feedback loop initiated by social and mental health factors. Gambling addicts tend to struggle with depression and job-related stress and there is a high comorbidity between gambling addiction and alcoholism.

I've talked briefly about criminality. Addiction can only be understood through the lens of who is defining what addiction is, namely the government and the psychiatric industry. Let's look at alcoholism, which is frequently categorized as an addiction despite alcohol being legal. The line between being a healthy drinker and an alcoholic is influenced by a number of factors, including cultural ones: in the United States, alcoholism is frequently defined by the number of drinks a person has in a week, and binge drinking is defined by the number of drinks they have in a single night. But drinking is a lot more common in Europe, and what we define as alcoholism or binge drinking in America is completely different from how alcoholism is understood in France or the UK. Like other addiction models, alcoholism is also defined by its relationship to criminality; a history of underage drinking, incidence of drunk driving, and "drunk and disorderly" behavior are all commonly understood to be associated with alcoholism, and generally indicate an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. But, again, there are cultural factors here: we have a higher than average drinking age in the US, we live in a car-based society, and American culture is highly individualistic, so people who are loud in public spaces are more likely to be criminalized. I'm not the best person to ask about the relationship between addiction and criminality because I haven't researched it nearly as much as I would like, but these are some things to consider whenever you're discussing addiction.

Now, let's look at porn addiction. There is currently a large, lucrative industry trying to convince us that porn addiction is an epidemic that can be cured using behavioral intervention by unlicensed, often religiously-affiliated individuals. This is a huge red flag. Part of the reason that gambling fits so well into a framework developed to describe substance abuse is that in drug addiction, alcoholism, and gambling addiction, there is a point at which there is a shift from using a substance or behavior for pleasure towards using the substance or behavior to relieve a craving or avoid withdrawal. This is how addiction is generally defined by medical professionals. Most scientists soundly reject using an addiction model to describe one's relationship with pornography, because research and evidence does not support the theory that an overinvestment in pornographic content results in this same feedback loop. This article (see bottom of post for link) provides a pretty good summary of the research (and lack thereof) into pornography addiction. One major claim that people who believe in porn addiction have is that pornography and frequent masturbation result in sexual dysfunction, but this is not supported in research, and anecdotal evidence may be the result of individuals not understanding the concept of refractory periods between orgasms (relevant because a majority of the people who report porn addiction are cisgender men). Basically, if you masturbate regularly, you may be more likely to attempt partnered sex during a refractory period, resulting in temporary difficulty in achieving an erection; this isn't sexual dysfunction and it's far from permanent, it's just how most penises work. And then, of course, there's the claim that pornography is addictive because people feel "unable to stop" watching it. This seems to be where the TikTok discourse is coming from, at least. I'll just go ahead and paste a quote from the article for this one:

"Some have cited personal religious values as providing a conflict between their [visual sexual stimuli] VSS use and feeling unable to stop. Religious conflict was the main reason cited for problems viewing VSS in one study. Those who want treatment for sex addiction are also more likely to be members of organized religion and hold strong religious values. However, the reverse was not true: religiosity explained little variance (3%) in the decision to use VSS. Far more people report a feeling of inability to control their VSS use, than actually report life difficulties resulting from their use. Feeling unable to stop may reflect personal value conflicts with normal VSS use. No data currently support the notion that ‘porn addicts’ have difficulty inhibiting their VSS use."

TL;DR addiction is a complex and highly problematic model as is, but even stripping it down to its most rudimentary definition, there is no existing model of addiction that "porn addiction" fits into. While we should be questioning how addiction is defined in general and seeking better ways to understand why substance abuse and problem gambling occur, that is a significantly more nuanced conversation than disproving porn addiction, which is just straight-up pseudoscientific and unsupported by research.

EDIT: tumblr mobile will not let me embed a link for some reason, so here is the url to the article I mentioned above:

www.researchgate.net/publication/258565076_The_Emperor_Has_No_Clothes_A_Review_of_the_'Pornography_Addiction'_Model

[princess-of-the-corner]

Random thought, No Fate related, would love some feedback!

I headcanon that a lot of underwater races in media - mermaids and the like - actually have very little concept of a gender binary. Like, all or most underwater races would be capable of both giving birth and, uh, “fertilizing the process”, so the human concept of gender would be basically redundant. Like, there would be those who’d have a harder time giving birth, or “assisting”, but underwater races would see it as extremely rude to label them as something that publicly called out this “deficiency” - for human, it would be like if you constantly had to refer to someone as “impotent”. The only reason most underwater races would HAVE gendered pronouns is if they regularly deal with other races that DO have them, but they’d probably mean different things.

Like, for the Zora, if they fit into this headcanon, Sidon is called a “Prince” because he’s one day going to be “King”, but, to the Zora, to be a “King” doesn’t mean “Male Ruler”. To the Zora, it would mean something closer to “Ruler by Blood Right”, because Zora pass their rulership through the royal family. A “Queen” isn’t “Female Ruler” it’s closer to “Our Ruler’s Spouse”. I also headcanon that, within Hyrule specifically, “Princess” would mean something different, because of the role of Princess Zelda. Like, Mipha was called a “Princess”, which rather than meaning she was next in line for the throne, meant something closer to “Magical Guardian” or “Priestess”, which is sort of what Zelda is supposed to be. “Princess” just means she’s from the royal line, but actually marks her out of the line of succession, as she’s filling a different role. (Note sure how well I’m explaining this….)

(Also would be neat to see how a race with no concept of human-style gender interact with it. Like, if a Zora began to really identify as “female” or “male”, I think that would be neat to explore.)

-

YES

YES YES YES

Honestly I love the whole thing of different species having different biology and all! And this! Yes!

Plus we also get language things. Like canonically the different groups have their own languages! So I’d imagine the Zora language would have non-gendered pronouns.

And yeah I think like. Back in the early days the Zora wouldn’t quite know what Hylians meant when saying male or female or using pronouns. They Hylians were just kinda going off the gendered ‘vibes’ one gave off and the Zora were confused. Especially when different Hylians assumed different genders for them.

It gets explained eventually! And nowadays they’re aware of the whole thing. They kinda more just roll with it. Some get uncomfortable and are like ‘hey no they/them by default’ but others just roll with whatever they’re called and don’t care. There are some who prefer one set of pronouns over the other, though whether it’s just ‘this one sounds neat’ or genuinely feeling more that gender is to each their own!

As such I think the gender thing with Mipha is less the Princess = Priestess thing and more just that Mipha gives fem vibes to Hylians. She’s small with a petite figure, a rounder face, very soft-spoken.

[cloudsandcrescents]

How’d you get into writing?

Little lengthy post here but here’s a little snippet into my entirely lackluster childhood lol.

I didn’t particularly love writing to begin with but found that I was sort of effortlessly good at it. Nothing monumentally groundbreaking but I just always remember being told that I was a very gifted writer. I marked it off as a one off skill that didn’t mean anything other than the fact that I was going to end up in advanced English classes as I got older. I was the kid other kids would try to pay to write papers for them basically.

My dream as a kid was to be an actor but I’d never really performed before, didn’t go to a school that offered drama as an elective, and honestly didn’t think I stood a chance to begin with. As I got older though, maybe my preteen years, I realized that what I really loved was storytelling. I was an avid reader as a child but kind of got out of it because I felt the school I attended was geared more towards encouraging a more business-oriented approach when it came to preparing for the future.

I started writing little stories for myself as a little bit of creative escapism. I’d been really into anime (I’m still a fan but was definitely way more into it as a kid) and began wondering if people had ever considered writing their own versions of certain shows. Lo and behold, I discovered Fanfiction.net!

I would read stories and would be blown away by so many gifted authors that for some silly reason, I was like, “I could totally do that!” I don’t remember the first thing I posted or even what my login is but I know it was objectively the worst thing I’d ever written. My grammar and punctuation isn’t perfect, even to this day, but I’d be hard pressed to consider it decent reading material.

But then I got my first comment there. It wasn’t anything spectacular but I remember just being over the moon because, flaws and all, someone liked something that I wrote enough to comment on it. I think what really sold it for me was that it was a complete stranger who didn’t know me and therefore, it was genuine and honest feedback.

There was an author there whose fics I really began to love and we ended up connecting and becoming friends. That’s when I truly began to take it a bit more seriously because they were, for all intents and purposes, a celebrity to me and I very much wanted them to like my work. They did, loved it even, and we would toss a lot of ideas back and forth regularly.

This friend has since passed away and I stopped writing for a while. Eventually, I did come back and then made the transition to AO3.

So, I guess the long and short of it is that I’ve always been a writer. I found a friend in a complete stranger whose loss motivated me to keep writing because it was a dream we both shared. It’s both something I love and is a huge part of me while also serving as a way for me to keep a part of that friend with me.

[sherbet-shivers]

Introduction

Hi friends! You can call me Sherbet/Sherbie (25yo, she/her). I write sick!fics (fan and OC) that’re mainly snz-centered or oriented. **Due to the nature of my content, I ask that none of my fics be shared to minor or non-snz/whump k!nk blogs!!!**

I’ll be pinning this post so anyone can feel free to refer to the following section (below the cut) where I detail more about myself and my writing preferences! I’ll also include a fic master-list at the bottom there. Otherwise, thanks for quickly stopping by! I finally have the nerve to share my stuff with the community, so I hope you guys can find something you enjoy! <3

A few personal notes:

I’ve never actually posted to tumblr regularly before (this is my first time sharing fics in general), so please be patient as I learn the ropes! Feedback or formatting advice are always welcome and appreciated!!

I respectfully ask that minors dni with my page, please!! This is a k!nk blog and I do write explicit content sometimes.

I'm a BIG rpg gaming and anime fan (who dabbles in live action series on rare occasions)! Most of my fics feature my favorite characters and series atm. Watch and game recommendations are invited!

I’m EXTREMELY private, thus I’d prefer not to share any PID or other information I haven’t already posted/included in my bio. Messages are welcome, but please be respectful!

This is NOT my main page! So while I won’t be able to like posts, I can follow and reblog! Hopefully this suffices so that I can spread and celebrate the wonderful talents you guys have <3

Fic-relevant notes:

I include: a quick summary (blurb), estimated word count, a feat. character list, and TWs at the start of ALL my fics. Please check them out prior to reading anything of mine in case there’s something icky you don’t vibe with. If you feel like a TW or tag is needed that’s not already there, just dm me!! Smart reading is safe reading <3

Things I write: I typically favor M allergies, but do write F/NB characters, colds, and fevers too (equal snz rights bc snz is snz)! I eat up hurt/comfort, so whump and very minor injury are often applicable to my stories. Again, keep an eye out for the TWs if you have concerns!

Things I DON’T write: I’m NOT an emeto person at all (I’m phobic IRL), but personally won’t turn away if it’s mentioned in a fic. You’ll never see a full fic from me where emeto is central to the story, but it could be mentioned (check TWs to be safe). I am also NOT into writing about real people or making furry content (sorry)! I’m self-conscious about writing OOC, so I don’t typically write characters from series I haven’t seen or am at least vaguely familiar with.

Since I’ve never published my writing before, I have never taken requests, but I do love the thought of receiving recommendations, so feel free to reach out via dm or ask if you have a fic idea! I’d love to give it a try, just please be patient with me!

Fic Masterlist (Title // Fandom // Character(s) // Length // + Hyperlinks):

A Minor Malfunction (D:BH, Co/nnor R/K800 (M), ~12k words total -> Parts One, Two and Three

Catch a Break (T/he W/ire, M/cNulty (M), ~2k words -> Here

Thanks again for checking out my blog guys! Many a snz to all!! <3

[leprosycock]

yes…. come back to the drew cavern.. it’s warm in here………

i want to So badly in so many ways but danny’s videos just aren’t good anymore and it’s difficult to keep drawing the same unbridled ecstasy of watching them from the same years-old content over and over… like i hold them so near and dear and drew’s videos are still absolutely fantastic commentary but it’s. rhhrhghh. i’d need to have the same level of consistent feedback and if they were regularly doing collabs i would just ignore how hard danny panders to that ironypilled audience that kurtis captured and i’d freak with them again. i couldn’t just freak with drew on his own because that’s not how my brain works and i need to find each boy that i love a proper soulmate. maybe i’ll have a breakdown intense enough soon through boy scout danny image hypnosis or something.. idk…. i do miss them so much and so often. we’ll see

[lizzie-c-bryant]

Writer’s Prompt Friday Prose 🖋️

Dive into the world of words as I explore the the prompt of the week, 'a mysterious package is at your door, inside a note with one word that changes your life.' Let me know what you think! Your feedback is invaluable.

The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead, casting harsh shadows on the sterile white walls. Sarah felt a cold sweat break out as she slumped into the vinyl couch. The world had gone mute, replaced by a deafening silence. Her husband? Dead? The words echoed in her mind, impossible to comprehend.

“What happened?” Her voice was a hoarse whisper, a stark contrast to the usual warmth and cheerfulness.

The doctor, a woman with a kind but weary face, hesitated. “Car accident. It looks like he had been drinking.” Her words were gentle, but they carried the weight of finality.

Sarah’s mind reeled. Drinking? Clive? It didn’t fit. Last night, he’d kissed her goodnight, a soft brush of lips against her cheek. And that glass of wine - a casual indulgence, not a harbinger of doom.

“He was drunk? But he was on his way to work. He wouldn’t…” Her voice trailed off, lost in a fog of disbelief.

A sob escaped her lips, a ragged sound that seemed to fill the room. The doctor handed her a tissue, her hand gentle.

A police officer arrived, his face etched with a sympathy that seemed almost rehearsed. “I’m so sorry for your loss, Mrs. Jacobs. It appears your husband lost control of the car.” He paused, as if searching for the right words. “Did he drink regularly?”

Sarah shook her head, her eyes wide with confusion. “No, no. Just that one glass last night.” She swallowed hard. “How could this happen? He was going to work.”

The officer’s expression changed subtly. “Where does he work, Mrs. Jacobs?” His voice was steady, but there was an underlying tension.

She told him the address, her mind racing. Clive was a respected lawyer, known for his long hours. She’d grown accustomed to the empty house in the evenings, trading his company for the luxury his income afforded.

The officer’s face tightened. “That’s in the city, right?”

Sarah nodded, her confusion deepening. “Yes, why?”

“Because he was going the opposite direction.” His voice was flat, devoid of emotion.

Sarah felt a cold dread creeping into her heart. “What? Where was he found?”

“The bridge.”

The word hung in the air, heavy and ominous. A bridge? Clive would never... But then, the image of her sister’s face flashed through her mind.

“Oh. I see.” She whispered, the puzzle pieces settling into place. Sarah had just thought that her sister and Clive were close, she was happy her husband and family got alone. Maybe too well. “Can… I want to go home.” She sniffled. She couldn’t sit in the hospital waiting room, hearing the noises and seeing the looks as people walked past, the sympathy. This was too much.

“Do you want me to drive you?” The police officer asked, “You’ve had a shock.”

Sarah shook her head. “No. No. I can’t leave my car here.” She grabbed her bag, tears filling her eyes. “Is there anything else I need to do? I don’t… I’ve never had to do this before.” She breathed.

“No. Nothing. The body…” Sarah stifled out a sob. “Sorry. I mean your husband, is being taken care of here, you just need to return tomorrow to get the death certificate and you can register his death. Does he have a will?”

“Yes.” She wiped her eyes. “I’d have to call my lawyer.”

“Okay. Here’s my card. If you need anything just give me a call, I think this is a rather cut and dry case. I’m so very sorry for your loss.”

Sarah nodded. “Thank you.” She shook the officer’s hand before driving the 10 minutes she took to get home. Her tears had dried up. She no longer felt numb. She pulled up to their large home. Well, now her large home. She walked up the steps, frowning as she spotted a small package on the door step. She lifted it, no address, no name. She opened the package. Her heart freezing.

“Dinner smells lovely dear.” Clive smiled as he sat down.

“It’s a new recipe. Hope you like it. Here, let me get you a drink.” Sarah said, grabbing a wine glass and pouring a large glass before turning her body discreetly. A few moments later the wine in front of her husband. The man took a sip.

“Tastes weird. Is it corked?”

Sarah took a sip of her glass. “I don’t taste a problem.” She shrugged. Clive looked at the glass before taking another sip.

Sarah waited until the glass was empty before sitting back, looking at him closely.

“I’m going for lunch tomorrow with my sister.” Sarah said softly, he didn’t react, humming softly.

“Oh really? That’s nice.”

“Yeah, she called me earlier so upset.” She continued. “About how sorry she was. I couldn’t make heads nor tails about it.”

That got Clive’s attention. His eyes darted up, wide and fearful. “Oh? What has she done this time?” He asked, voice slurring a little but sounding tense.

“No idea. I’ll get it out of her tomorrow. She’s terrible at keeping secrets from me.”

“Yes. I see.” Clive glanced at the clock on the wall, then his phone. “Fuck. Sorry honey. I’m needed in the office.”

“So late?” Sarah asked with a pout.

“Sorry dear. I need to sort something. Don’t wait up.” He stood hurriedly, kissing her on the cheek and grabbing his jacket. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He left.

Sarah waited for the door to close before smiling, leaning back in her chair and taking a sip of her own wine, pulling out a small bottle from her pocket. It took a while to find the right bottle. Especially one with 95 percent alcohol content.

That same bottle was in the package, alongside a small handwritten note.

“Naughty.”

[peterparkers-bad-youtube-apology]

No Blood Left in the Water

Wipeout - Chapter 11

Pairing: Surfer!Tom Holland x Reader

A/N: After this is just the epilogue! I hope you guys enjoy! Pretty please let me know what you think! I love getting feedback, it’s a really big motivator to me. Reblogs and comments are the best way for you to let me know what you think and I really really appreciate them! If you want to give me some anonymous feedback or just talk feel free to drop in my inbox! Also I’ve lessened my work load for this term so I should be back to posting more regularly after this. I love you guys xx

Warnings: Angst, fighting, crying

Summary: You and Tom sit down for a much needed talk

Taglist

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

❀  ゜.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．゜❀

You woke up feeling groggy and anxious. It was still pouring outside and although it was already after 9 am, the sky was still black. The wind rattled your windows, it felt almost taunting, like the universe was daring you to get out of bed, daring you to try and step outside. You didn’t heed the warning though, you dragged yourself out of bed and straight to the shower.

After a needlessly long shower you plopped yourself on back down on your bed and got ready to call Tom. You weren’t sure what to say. It wasn’t the kind of talk you could do over the phone, but you were worried you wouldn’t be able to spit it out in person. Staring at the phone was only making your nerves worse though, it was better to rip off the band aid and get it over with.

Tom picked up on the first ring, “Hi,” he sounded more dull than usual, not like he was angry or anything, just tired, “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” you replied before clearing your throat, “Are you busy today?”

“No, I don’t work, and I wasn’t gonna do anything,” he paused for a second, “Do you wanna hang out or something?”

“Yeah, that would be nice,” you nodded, “I would suggest surfing or something but you know…”

“Yeah, probably better to hang out inside. It’s a little crowded at my house though. I, um, I’d rather it was just us you know?”

“Me too,” you agreed, “Well maybe we could drive up to the north beach or something? We can just sit in my car.”

“We can take mine,” he offered, “I put the roof and the doors on when I saw the storm warning. It’s a little roomier and you know… It’s sort of special right?”

Your heart jumped in your chest, “Yeah, it is. Well I can meet up whenever, I’m all ready to go.”

“Cool, I’ll come get you then,” he cleared his throat, “Be there in ten?”

“Okay.”

With that you hung up. You decided to bundle up in some thick leggings and an oversized sweater. Perfect moody clothing, something you could bury yourself in if you started to cry.

Tom arrived exactly ten minutes later. You ran out to his car with your head down, attempting to shield yourself from the rain. It seemed oddly confining to have the doors and the roof on the Jeep, but sitting in his passenger seat made you feel like you were further away than you ever had been.

“This is weird,” you commented as you ran your hand over the door.

“Yeah, it’s like a whole different car,” he kept facing forward, refusing to turn towards you. He still didn’t seem angry though, “You can still sit in the middle if you want.”

“That’s alright,” you blushed and put your hands against one of the vents, “I want to be in front of the heater.”

He nodded, “Right. Let me know if you need my jacket.”

“Thanks.”

He started driving, you were both awkward and quiet. You were trying to plan out the conversation in your mind, wondering how the best way to start was. Tom was focused on driving, you seemed to be the only people on the road that day. You were both totally silent until you spotted the turn in for the beach. You cleared your throat as he turned in.

“Have you ever gone out surfing in a storm?” you asked.

He shook his head, “No, not when there's thunder or anything at least. A little rain is fine, but going out like this would be way too dangerous.”

“That makes sense,” you mumbled as he put the car in park, “Maybe we should have gotten drinks or something.”

He nodded, “Yeah, that would have been a good idea.”

You both fell silent again, not even glancing at each other. You watched violent waves crash against the shore while rain pounded against the roof of the car. There was only so long you could dance around it.

You took a deep breath, “Harrison called me last night.”

He stiffened, “What about?”

“He said you and Adrien got into a fight,” you left it there, hoping he would elaborate on his own.

“Yeah, we did,” he licked his lips, “If you’re gonna scold me or something I don’t want to hear it, he deserved it.”

“I’m not gonna scold you Tom,” you blushed, “I just want to know what happened.”

“He pissed me off.”

“Tom,” you groaned, “Come on, I need more than that. And will you stop just staring out the window? I’m trying to talk to you.”

“He said some shit about you and I hit him, I’ll do it again too, that asshole’s not good enough for you,” he turned towards you only slightly.

You noticed it then, some bruising around his nose. You sighed and moved to the middle seat. You took his jaw and forced him to look at you. He had a black eye.

“Tom,” you sighed, touching his cheek gently, “This is from him?”

“Trust me he looked worse,” he pursed his lips, “It’s just a black eye (y/n), I’ve had a lot worse.”

“I’m sorry.”

He scoffed, “Don’t apologize, I started it.”

“Because of me.”

“Yeah, cause he was being a dick, I wasn’t gonna let him just talk shit about you.”

“What did he say?”

“He said your date was shitty and called your boring, and he was just being…” he huffed, “I don’t know, it was just the way he was saying shit, calling you my fuck buddy and shit, it sounded really objectifying, it pissed me off.”

You crinkled your nose, “Yeah, I probably would have hit him too. Thanks for defending me.”

“Don’t thank me for that, any decent friend would have yelled at him at least,” his eyes darted down before meeting yours again, “I mean it, he’s not good enough for you. You deserve a lot better than that.”

Your cheeks flushed, “It wouldn’t have worked either way, we didn’t really connect on anything.”

“Yeah cause he’s boring, and a dick,” he scoffed, “Trust me you can find someone a lot better than him.”

You already had. You had someone better than anything you could ever imagine. The prettiest boy you’d ever met, sitting right in front of you. He’d snatched your heart right out of your chest and there seemed to be no way to get it back.

“Yeah, he’s not really what I want,” you glanced to the side, unable to meet his eyes, “There’s some other stuff we need to talk about too.”

He stiffened again, “London?”

“Well that, and things have just been weird lately,” you took a deep breath, “I-I mean you kind of freaked out when I told you Adrien asked me out and I don’t mean to make you feel bad or something Tom but I spent the whole week crying over you…”

His eyes widened, “Flower…” he seemed to be searching for his words, “Y-You should have called, I’m sorry. I-I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad or anything.”

“I know,” your stomach was beginning to churn. Your nerves were burning again, you knew you wouldn’t be able to hold your tears back for very long, “I know you weren’t trying too, but you did. A-And that wasn’t entirely your fault, a lot of this is on me, but just… I don’t know Tom, that talk made me feel really awful.”

“I’m so sorry,” he was quick to cup your face, “Really, I mean it.”

Looking over at him all you wanted was a few simple words. You wanted him to tell you he loved you and that it’d be okay. You wished he could read your mind because you couldn’t spit it out. You couldn’t tell him that it was your own fault you felt bad, that you felt bad because you loved him and you wanted him. You didn’t want Adrien or London or anything else, you wanted Tom, just Tom. Why was that so hard to say?

“Tom I-” you cut yourself off, your throat burned, “I’m scared.”

His expression fell as you started to cry. He pulled you into him, letting you sob into his chest. He cooed softly at you, holding your firm against him while he smoothed over your head.

“There’s nothing to be scared of Flower, it’s just me, you know you can tell me anything,” he attempted to sooth you but it only made you cry even harder.

You couldn’t catch your breath or even think really. Tom had no idea what to do or what to say. He just kissed the top of your head and kept you firm against him. You were sniffling and shaking and he just wanted to make you feel better.

“Is it about London?” he tried again, “I know it’s a great opportunity but you don’t have to go.”

He was being selfish trying to persuade you to stay, he knew that. He wanted you to stay there with him, for everything to just go back to normal. He probably should have encouraged you to go, told you how it wouldn’t be so bad once you got there. He wanted to put you first, but he couldn’t stand to see you sobbing like that. He wanted to make you feel better, and he wanted to make sure he was there for you anytime you started crying.

“You can stay here if it’s scary,” he kissed your head again.

“It’s not about London Tom!” you cried against him before forcing yourself to sit up again. You wiped your eyes and took a deep breath, a poor attempt to put yourself back together, “I mean it is, kind of, but not really,” you let out a frustrated groan.

Your head fell and you grabbed the back of your neck. You were angry with yourself, for your inability to sort out your feelings. For breaking down in tears instead of just spitting it all out. For selfishly wanting to put a boy before your future.

“I spent the entire date thinking about you,” you confessed, “I spent the whole week thinking about you. The only reason I haven’t said yes to London is you, because I can’t stand the idea of being that far away from you. It’s all about you Tom, and I don’t know what to do, I’ve never felt like this before.”

Tom’s eyes widened in shock. His body tensed and froze. You hadn’t raised your head to him, half hoping he wouldn’t hear what you were mumbling. His brain was struggling to process what you’d said.

“Me?” was all he managed.

“Yes you idiot!” another sob left your chest, you sobbed for a minute before you continued in a small, weak voice, “Sorry, you’re not an idiot, I-I’m just frustrated.”

“(y/n),” he responded softly, wrapped his arm around your hunched over form, “Come on, you know I don’t care if you call me an idiot,” he pushed on your shoulder, trying to get you to sit up again, “If I have to look at you then you’ve got to look at me too.”

You didn’t want to look at him, reluctantly you let him pull you back up. He wiped your puffy red eyes with his thumbs. His lips curled up to a smile, it was as warm and comforting as ever.

“I hate it when you cry, it makes me want to cry too,” he wiped your eyes again, “I’m sorry you’ve had to think about me so much, that must suck.”

A laugh broke through your tears and your head fell onto his shoulder, “You really are an idiot.”

“Yeah, I know,” he agreed, hugging you against him again. You buried your face in his neck and he pressed his lips against your forehead, “I’m scared too you know? I’m scared of you moving, I’m scared of you loving someone else,” he sighed, “And I’ve never felt like this either, like ever.”

Your heart thudded against your chest. You felt safe tucked away against him. You didn’t want to ruin the moment by asking him for more, by making him elaborate. Luckily he continued for you.

“When I was in Hawaii you were all I could think about, I’ve never missed anyone that much, ever,” he sighed, “A-And when you got that email about the internship you know I totally freaked. I opened it even though I shouldn’t have, and I got so freaked out I even thought about deleting it. I know that’s awful, but it’s true, I was just terrified by the thought of you leaving, that we’d always be far away, that I’d have to miss you all the time. Obviously I didn’t, and I never would have been able to do that to you, but you know it made me realize how different I feel about you compared to, well, everyone. It’s really scary, all of it. But I want you to know that I love you, more than anything, and all I want is for you to be happy (y/n).”

You held your breath as his words settled in. You weren’t sure if you wanted to kiss him or yell or just cry some more.

“I’m happy here,” you confessed, “I’m happy with you Tom. I love you, I don’t want anything else.”

You were both quiet. That was what you needed, to be held by him, to know he loved you how you loved him. Tom kissed your forehead and squeezed you tight. He smiled to himself, it felt like a weight had been lifted, it was nice to have it out in the open. It felt even better to know that you loved him too, in the same way that he loved you.

“I want you to go to London,” he confessed, “Even though it’s scary for me, I want you to go, because I want you to do what’s best for you. And if you decide you do want to go, a-and if you want to be together, then I’ll go with you.”

Your eyes widened and you sat up, “Tom I would never expect you to do that.”

“Yeah, I know, but I don’t want to be that far away for that long,” he held up one of his hands and waited for you to place your own against it, “Besides, it might be good for me. I could try going to school or something.”

You laughed, “Are you gonna get a 9 to 5 too?”

“No shot,” he chuckled, “I mean it though, I really like working with the kids. Maybe I could do something with that, I don’t know,” he shrugged.

“Okay,” you were smiling now, which filled his whole body with affection and warmth, “Would you really be okay leaving? You wouldn’t be able to surf as much, or see your family.”

“It’d be really different, but I think maybe I need that. I get really scared of change and growing up and shit, I know I have to get over that eventually,” he brushed your wet, tear stained hair off your cheeks, “You’d be there though, so I know I’d still be happy. Plus we can visit.”

“I was thinking even if I did go to London that I’d move back here after,” you blushed and leaned into his hand, “I really love it here.”

“Yeah, me too,” he spoke softly before he pressed his lips to yours.

His lips were soft and sweet, contrasting your salty chapped ones. You kissed him hard, squeezing his shoulders as your lips moved against his. You both wore big smiles when you pulled away.

“I love you,” you breathed out, “I wanna do it. I wanna go to London, and I want you there with me.”

“I love you too,” he replied with a smile, “I’d happily go anywhere with you.”

You squeezed his hand and fell into his chest again. You inhaled deeply and your eyes fell closed.

next chapter

❀  ゜.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．゜❀

Taglist:

@spideyssunshine​ @spideyspeaches​ @niallsvirgosun​ @roseke​ @outshineallthestars​ @namoreno ​ @thevery-firstpage ​ @collywob ​ @zspideyy ​ @emistrash ​ @tomsirishgirlx @andreagf956 ​ @peachyafshawn ​ @agbspidey ​ @sleepybesson ​ @nj01 @misshale21 ​ @prancerrparkerr ​ @raajali3 ​ @ellabellabus07 ​ @xoxomaterialgirl ​ @mayal0pez ​ @belovedholland ​ @minjix ​ @blankspaceblankday ​ @inthegetawaycarwithtaylah @graciexmarvel ​ @secretsthathauntus ​ @lnmp89 ​ @negasonic-teenage-asshole ​ @gloomynigvts ​ @phobiics @t-hollanderr ​ @cest-la-vieve ​ @itscaminow ​ @katiaw2 @afro-hispwriter ​ @chrissybang @hem-lemon @book-lover21 @plshie @zoeaudrey2 @princesssria127 @hollandweather ​​ @lilacccfairyy ​​

[mrvisionsblog]

Let the Rhythm Guide Your Soul: Discover “Alone” by Mr VISION

About

I’m Yash Suppal, better known as Mr VISION, and I’m excited to take you on a journey through my latest track, “Alone.” If you’re a fan of hip-hop and rap, this song is a reflection of both my personal experiences and the universal feeling of solitude that many of us face. Let’s dive into the story behind the track and how it came to be.

The Heart of “Alone”

“Alone” explores the theme of solitude and self-reliance. The lyric “In your hard times I have found only myself as by my side” captures the essence of finding strength in our own company during life’s toughest moments. I wanted to create a track that resonates with anyone who has ever felt isolated but found the courage to keep moving forward.

You can listen to “Alone” on YouTube. I’d love for you to experience the track and share your thoughts!

Crafting the Track

As both the producer and writer, I poured my heart into “Alone.” The production was a deeply personal process, allowing me to blend raw emotion with a compelling sound. If you’re curious about how the track was made or want to explore more of my music, visit my YouTube channel where I regularly post updates and new releases.

Lyrics That Resonate

Two key lines from the song that I’m particularly proud of are:

“Chala mein hu apni manzil ki aur, Koi nahi saath sirf mein or ek dost, Jo bhi maine socha hai sab mera dosh, Esa laga jo bhi saath mere hai vo mera ghost.”

This verse reflects the solitary journey towards personal goals, emphasizing the inner strength required to continue despite feeling alone.

Another powerful lyric is:

“Jana sabko hai manzil ki aur, Manzil na dur bas bich mein ek stop, Thode din ki life or bus thode din ka daur, Thode din ka saath or phir manzil hai maut.”

It touches on the transient nature of life and the perseverance needed to achieve our dreams. For more insights into the lyrics and to connect with the song, follow my Instagram page.

The Journey So Far

Since its release a year ago, “Alone” has reached 2,495 views on YouTube. The positive feedback has been overwhelming, and a notable highlight was receiving a comment from “Dev Next Level,” a renowned music producer from Punjab. His appreciation was a significant boost and a testament to the hard work invested in the track.

Discover More

I’m thrilled to share that I have many upcoming singles and projects in the pipeline. For the latest updates and exclusive content, make sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel and follow me on Instagram. Your support means the world to me and keeps me motivated to create more music.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. I hope “Alone” resonates with you and invites you to reflect on your own experiences of solitude and strength.

Stay tuned and keep listening!

Mr VISION

[prehistoricmancunt]

Hi hi!!! I’ve been following u for a while but I just noticed you updated ur pinned post :)) I’d love to hear any thoughts or writing you have on grief if you ever wanted to share know that you definitely have an audience! <3

oh YAY thank you! I have this post that went kind of viral on here (the tags regularly make me misty eyed), and it made me realize that the things I have to say about grief really resonate with a lot of people! i then made it into an instagram graphic, and then a zine, and all of those got a lot of really positive feedback.

one night, I started brainstorming a bunch of grief prompts about remembering 'your person', and then recently, months later, I finally picked that idea back up and it has bloomed into what I hope will be an actually published book/interactive grief journal. I'm even considering looking into making the prompts themselves into a deck of cards that can be used in daily grief exercises, or in a communal grief setting like wakes, funerals, deathaversaries etc. I've gotten positive feedback about this WIP as well!

some of the readings that have been really impactful for me re: grief are:

all about love by bell hooks, chapter 11 / On earth we're briefly gorgeous by ocean vuong / andrew garfield's interview in the believer about his mom / all the living and the dead by hayley campbell / caitlin doughty's books & youtube videos / gendersauce instagram posts / Rebellious Mourning by Cindy Milstein

I'd definitely like to share some excerpts of this WIP here if people are interested (sounds like you are at least!!!!) and to start, I'm happy to share some of the prompts!

If you send me an ask with a number between 1 and 72, and i'll reply with that grief prompt!

The prompts span from mundane things like their name and their favorite things, to heavier things like how did they die and what was their funeral like?

a few things to consider:

Through all of this, it is paramount to mention that nobody is all good or all bad. Not every prompt in here is deep and heavy, but some are. Sometimes we fight with the people we love. We let each other down, we disappoint each other, we forget something important. Sometimes we hurt each other. The ways you hurt or were hurt by each other don’t die when they do - it’s okay to wrestle with the ways your person was imperfect. You are not a bad person for remembering them in the fullness of their humanity. You are not grieving wrong for still being mad about something you were mad about before they died.

 If you are afraid that stepping into the waters of painful memories will inevitably sweep you up and suck you down, remember that no feeling lasts forever. Your hurt will come and, if you give it the space it needs, it will go, too. I promise. This is a safe space to remember your person and the person they were, warts and all. Tread with care, take breaks, take deep breaths, you’re okay. You’re safe. I’m proud of you for sitting in your grief.

bell hook says in ‘All About Love: new visions’ that “In its deepest sense, grief is a burning of the heart, an intense heat that gives us solace and release. When we deny the full expression of our grief, it lays like a weight on our hearts, causing emotional pain and physical ailments. Grief is most often unrelenting when individuals are not reconciled to the reality of loss.” This book and its prompts are meant to aid you in the expression of your grief, to deny the denial of grief.

okay that was a lot but i love talking about this! thank you for the chance to!