#I’d like to rewatch it all when I’m by myself though | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

taytrashmouth · 1 year

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Just finished rewatching game of thrones and the Jon snow obsession has been reborn.

This is a long one!

TW: rape, abuse, crying, murder, etc, all normal GOT stuff.

Jon snow x reader.

:readmore:

Looking at the empty walls of the stone cell I’ve been trapped in for weeks I can’t help but feel that these walls of winterfell that I’ve known for so long are no longer the walls I call home. This is a prison.

I pushed myself back against the furthest wall as I heard the keys rattle in the door. The chain around my waist felt heavier than normal.

As the door opened I felt a tear escape my eye…Ramsey

“You’re not excited to see me?” He pouted and wiped my cheek.

I tried to hide my fear and pain and sadness but I knew he could see through my act.

“I’m going to meet with lady Bolton tomorrow.” He sat down in front of me.

I thought about Sansa….I thought about when we were little, how we would sneak into the kitchens after everyone was asleep, how we’d laugh and talk, how we would dance in the snow outside and go for long walks in the snowy hills. She was bigger now, more mature. The last time I saw her was at the wedding…she got locked in Ramseys room and I got locked in a cell. I heard people talk of her escape through the small widow towards the top of my cell, I’d never been that relieved in my life.

Sansa never treated me as her handmaiden, only ever as her friend.

“Her bastard brother will be there too…” Ramsey spoke.

I couldn’t help my reaction, I let out a gasp and tears fell from my eyes.

Jon was alive.

“I want you to come with me to meet with them tomorrow…”

I looked up at him and frowned, there was a catch, Ramsey was insane, he liked to play games.

“You see… I know that Jon cares for you…and lovers should always be reunited at the end of every story.” Ramsey smiled as he touched my cheek, I tried to move away but he held me still.

“But I’m afraid this story doesn’t have a happy ending…” he pouted. “Jon will have to see what I’ve done with you.” Now he smiled.

He began to untie my dress, I tried to move away but he held me down and the chains were too heavy. After not being fed for a week I could barely have the strength to push him off.

He grabbed my hands and held them high above my head as he sucked hickeys into my neck, and put bite marks all over my skin.

Eventually I stopped screaming, I just accepted him inside of me, I cried and looked away, knowing there was nothing I could do. I thought of everything that wasn’t Ramsey. Then eventually I didn’t think of anything at all, I didn’t even feel as though I was in the room anymore. I was somewhere deep inside my own mind, somewhere I couldn’t even place.

I felt Ramsey hit me and become rough but I just lay there in the cold cell…hopeless.

When he was done he had his guards unlock the chains around my waist and wrists, and lead me to a room in the castle….Aryas old room.

They locked me in there for the rest of the night I had a bath and scrubbed my skin till it was raw and red trying to get Ramsey off of me…

I put on the dress that was laid out on the bed, it showed off my shoulders and my sides, exposing the bruises and scrapes all over my body. I brushed my hair that had grown a lot since I last saw myself. I tied it back into a braid exposing my face and neck like Ramsay instructed

I looked at my thin figure, I could see my own ribs. I looked awful. I drank the soup that was left on top of the dresser.

And I waited…to see Jon again, to see Sansa.

I walked out of the dining hall to see Jon hitting a training dummy repeatedly with his sword.

“I think it’s dead.” I smiled as he turned around.

He smiled softly, something he didn’t do often. “What am I missing?” He asked gesturing back into the hall

“Ned’s angry because Arya flicked food at Sansa.” I spoke. He laughed under his breath. “So nothing new?” He smirked.

I shook my head.

It was quiet for a moment, the music from inside distant. The air was cold.

I had liked Jon since I was about 10, he often caught Sansa and I in the kitchens late at night and instead of telling Ned, like Robb sometimes did, he would join us.

But I’d never say anything, I couldn’t…technically he was a stark, and technically I was a prisoner, a Greyjoy. Although the starks had never made me feel like a prisoner.

“Why so frustrated?” I asked him.

He looked down at his sword and the blisters he’d caused on his hand.

“A lot on my mind, my lady.” He replied.

“I am no lady….just a handmaiden, My lord.” I spoke back, knowing he only ever wanted me to call him Jon.

He smiled to himself. “Just Jon.”

“Okay….just Jon, may I have this dance.” I asked as the band began to play another song that could be heard vaguely through the closed doors to the dining hall.

“Anything for you, princess.” He spoke slowly and made his way over to you. Putting his sword against the stone walls of winterfell.

“I am no-“ you were interrupted when his finger pressed to your lips. “You are to me.” He whispered.

He valued me, always. He never treated me like less, in fact he always treated me like more, like royalty, like a princess.

I smiled up at him. He placed his hands on my waist and i put mine on his shoulders.

“I must warn you, just Jon I’m not a good dancer.” I spoke.

“I know, I’ve watched you dance with sir Cedric Mormont a few years back, and sir Jamie earlier tonight.”

I playfully smacked his arm and he smiled.

“I’ll tell you what princess y/n Greyjoy…I’m not that good either.” He smiled.

We swayed and laughed when Jon jokingly spun me around, or when I tried to lead. We ran around the castle walls for about 3 hours before lady Katlin caught us.

We both froze when she saw us.

“Sansa was looking for you y/n.” She spoke firmly. Glaring at Jon.

“My lady- I-“ you stumbled.

“It was me! I wanted to try on Robb’s armor, see what it was like, to be a knight. I had lady Greyjoy assist me putting it on-�� Jon interrupted. He never lied, but he was protecting me.

I glanced worriedly at him.

“Typical.” She whispered under her breath, and shook her head. My blood boiled. “Y/n get to Sansa’s chambers immediately, Jon… out of my sight.” She spoke loudly.

I quickly walked off to Sansa’s bed chamber, thinking about Jon the whole way there.

“Where we’re you?” Sansa spoke.

“I’m sorry, I-I was with Jon.” I blushed.

She squealed. “Tell me everything.” She spoke, handing me her hairbrush as she sat down at the dresser.

It was like having a permanent best friend, I was only two years older than Sansa.

I carefully undid the intricate braids in her hair and brushed her copper locks.

“We danced…sort of.” I smiled.

“Was he any good?” She frowned.

“No.” We both laughed.

We giggled and spoke until she had to go to bed. Laughing about Jon and how she was to marry prince Joffrey.

You walked along the empty passages towards the servants quarters. Through the snow covered courtyard.

I was pulled from the happy memory when the lock to the chamber rattled and Ramsey and two of his guards entered.

I dropped the soup onto the floor, my hands must have been shaking.

“Oh clumsy are we? You’ll need a new dress I suppose.” Ramsey pouted.

Tears filled my eyes.

“Luckily I have the perfect one for you.” He smirked and held out some purple material…open back.

He wanted Jon to see my pain, to see that I belonged to him. I shook my head and tears fell from my eyes.

His guards grabbed my wrists and shoved me onto the bed, i sobbed when they began to tie my hands to the headboard. They ripped away the gown I was wearing and I could no longer see Ramsey, and that scared me more than anything.

“This will hurt darling.” I could hear the smile in his voice. And I screamed and sobbed as a hard whip hit my back, digging into my spine, I felt blood pour down my back.

It hurt again and again, 20 times he hit me, 20 times I screamed and 20 times I did not prey for help, I wished for death.

He left me tied there, facing the wall, bleeding.

I cried for a long time until I fell asleep from exhaustion. Naked and beaten.

The morning was a rush, Bran had fallen from the tallest tower and hadn’t woken up. Lady Katlin was devastated and Ned had informed Sansa and I we were leaving for kings landing tomorrow. He had been offered the position of hand of the king.

He also informed me that Jon was to become a man of the nights watch.

I walked as fast as I could to his room, my dress blowing behind me in the wind. I tried desperately not to cry.

I shoved his door open and there he was packing his things.

As he turned to me I slapped him, hard.

“Were you not going to tell me!” I yelled, the tears began to fall.

He swallowed hard and looked down, and then at me…my face.

“I didn’t know how-“

“Lies!” I screamed, tears falling like snowflakes.

“I love you! And I didn’t know how to say goodbye to the one thing! The one good thing in my life! The only thing that matters!” He yelled too now.

You cried harder.

“You are the only thing keeping me from going! But I can’t love you, n/n….I can’t! I’m a bastard, and I refuse to force you to burden that name too. You are going to king’s landing tomorrow, you’ll meet a Duke of something there and you’ll grow old in a castle, and have beautiful daughters and strong sons.” Jon was crying too, he held my shoulders.

“No-“ I shook my head. “I don’t want that…. I love you Jon snow. I will never love anyone else. I want to run away with you, I want to carry your children, I want to grow old with you!” I sobbed.

He shook his head, and pressed his forehead to mine.

“I don’t care if you’re a bastard- it’s a stupid title. Like king or queen it’s just a name. But you’re so much more than that you’re brave and kind, loving, you’re funny and smart and-“ he kissed me, gently but passionately.

For a moment everything made sense. All the stars aligned and the puzzle fit together beautifully.

But then I pulled away.

“I love you.” We stated at the same time, we both laughed lightly.

There was a heavy silence after that. I knew I had to go to kings landing, and he knew he had to go to the wall, to make something of himself.

“Promise me.” I spoke slowly as he held my cheeks. “Promise me when I see you again you’ll kiss me, like you just did, promise me that someday we’ll grow old together. Promise me-“ I choked and he kissed my forehead. “Promise that I’ll see you again.”

He nodded. “I promise.” He knelt to the floor and kissed my hand, “ I promise I’ll come back for my princess.” He spoke.

I smiled through the tears as he stood.

“Promise you’ll write to me…every day.” He whispered as we hugged. I nodded.

“Promise you’ll write back.” He chuckled and nodded against my head.

That was goodbye.

I rode with Ramsey on his horse, my back aching and my lips blue. I was freezing in the revealing dress. Bruises, gashes, hickeys, scars and deep wounds covered my body.

We stopped after a long ride. I saw horses approaching in the distance. My heart sunk, I didn’t want Jon to see me like this. What if he had moved on.

I must have looked terrible because Sansa took in a sharp breath before demanding my release. There he was, Jon…my Jon.

I almost smiled when I saw him, almost.

He looked older, a fuller beard and darker eyes, he was taller. He was handsome.

He looked devastated when he saw me. I looked down at the floor, not seeing the tears fill his eyes.

They debated the war that was to come, tomorrow. And Rickons release.

I began to shiver.

“Give her a coat she’ll freeze!” Jon yelled. His voice was husky and sad. I looked at the anger on his face.

Ramsey smiled.

“Jon don’t-“ I tried to explain it was just one of his games but Ramsey hit me, across the cheek.

Jon’s horse jerked forward as he drew his sword but his men held him back.

And then we rode away, at the perfect angle for Jon to see my back.

Ramsey threw me back into my cell, I cried…I didn’t want Jon to fight- I feared Ramsey would win.

I felt my heart sink…I had imagined seeing him again for so many years and it broke me to know that might’ve been the last time.

Last I saw him he was 16, only a boy. I was 15, a young girl who knew nothing of the world outside winterfell.

I knew not of vicious fighters like sir clegane or horrible woman like Cersei. I wouldn’t have imagined such an unfair ruler as Joffrey. Or such an abusive leader as Ramsey.

I wouldn’t have ever imagined seeing Theon like that….like reek. Ramsey told me he’d to the same to me if I disobeyed him. Another Greyjoy to his collection.

I hadn’t looked death in the eye the last time i saw Jon and yet now I had seen so much of it, it all seemed insignificant.

I heard of Jon’s battles, I even heard of his death. Seeing him again was like seeing a ghost. I wasn’t the same girl he left at winterfell but I had the same heart.

“You’re going to take someone’s eye out.” I smiled across the courtyard as I saw Jon and Robb attempting to sword fight in the snow, they kept slipping on the ice.

“That’s the point my lady.” Robb smiled.

“It’s not that simple.” Jon huffed.

“Can I have a go.” I asked gesturing to their swords.

They both chuckled until they realized I was serious.

“The arena is no place for a lady.” Robb spoke, he looked a bit sympathetic though.

I frowned.

Jon was about to speak until Theon called them to lunch.

That evening when I was lying on my bed I felt something shake me awake.

“Jon?” I frowned in the dark. He nodded.

“Come on.” He pulled me out of bed.

“Where are we going?” I asked but he shhhhed me.

“You’ll see, it’s a surprise.” He whispered.

He dragged me out to the courtyard, where he lit a bunch of candles.

I smiled.

“Jon it’s beautiful.”

“Like you.” He responded, both our cheeks flushed.

“You sure you’re ready?” He asked me, changing the subject.

“For?”

“You’re greatest opponent.” He smiled and threw me a sword which landed on the floor in front of me. I smiled.

“Thank you.” I looked at him. He nodded.

He spent the rest of the night trying to teach me how to fight, and by 4AM I could have a basic spar with him.

He quickly blew out all the candles and lead me back to my chambers.

“Was I any good?” I asked.

He nodded as we walked.

“Are you just saying that?” I asked again.

He smiled. “You were better than Theon let’s put it that way.”

I smiled.

Ramsey chained me up and dragged me outside of winterfell with Rickon. We both got a bad hit when I hugged him, I was so relieved he was alright.

I watched as Ramsey explained the rules of his stupid little trick, how rickon had to run across the field to Jon. It was too easy. There was a catch.

I watched as he began to run and I watched Ramseys men began to load their crossbows.

I began to scream. “Nooo! Stop!” I screamed and they hit me, but I didn’t stop, I had to warn him.

Jon began to ride towards his brother… holding out his hand. But there it was, another stark gone.

My own scream was silent in my ears, I couldn’t hear anything as I watched him fall to the floor.

I sobbed. I watched Jon loose his horse and begin to take on an entire army by himself. I screamed again.

I felt Ramsey pull at my chains and drag me back to winterfell. Leaving the battle of the bastards. His war that he wasn’t even fighting.

Leaving the carnage. He took me to the courtyard. He put me on the execution platform and tied a rope around my neck. He explained how if Jon came to save me, the floor would disappear and so would I.

I waited, I saw the bodies pile up through the windows in the castle walls. I watched the giant break down winterfells gates. I smiled and cried when I saw him….just Jon.

“You’re too late.” Ramsey smiled and pointed at me. Jon’s face dropped he was covered in blood.

“No!” I yelled as I watched one of Ramseys men move to pull the lever.

Jon began to run towards me, as a red haired man threw an axe at the soldier. It killed him as he pulled the switch. I closed my eyes and took in a sharp breath.

I opened my eyes, Jon had caught me. I smiled as a tear ran down my cheek. He looked at me, examining my face.

His red hair friend cut the rope and jon put me down.

Ramsey began to load his crossbow.

“Jon.” I said and pointed at Ramsey.

His hands left my hips, and I almost missed his touch.

He used some debris as a shield as Ramsey fired arrows at him, he grew closer and closer to him.

I watched as Jon beat him up. A part of me liked that Ramsey would die here, today. A part of me knew it was wrong.

“Stop!” I let out. Jon looked at me and then at Sansa, still punching. And he did, he stopped.

He walked off into winterfell.

I ran across the courtyard to Sansa and we held each other. Tight.

“Are you okay?” I asked her. She laughed.

“Are you?” She scoffed.

We quickly decided Ramsey should be reunited with his pets. He didn’t deserve to live. Not even as a prisoner.

Later that evening I found myself in Aryas old bed chambers attempting to stitch up some of my cuts. I heard a knock at the door and looked up.

Jon.

“Hello.” I spoke.

“Hi.”

I slowly stood up.

It wasn’t long before his lips were on mine. We kissed for a long time, passionately. A kiss that made up for all our time lost.

We pulled away breathless, both crying.

“You stopped writing letters.” I spoke, he smiled.

“You stopped writing back.” He answered.

He hugged me, gently. I hugged him back as tightly as I could.

“You’re taller.” I smiled.

“You’re shorter.”

We both laughed.

He sat me on the bed and helped me stitch up my wounds. He held my hand tightly as he poured alcohol on my back.

We spent hours catching up.

We both sat on the end of the bed, my head on his shoulder.

“I thought you were dead.” I told him. “Twice.”

He chuckled. “You gave me a few scares too.”

“How was the wall?”

“Cold.” He looked down at me. I laughed.

“Is it true? The whitewalkers?” I asked more seriously now.

He sighed. “Unfortunately.”

“I’ve fought them, they’re too strong. I fear we won’t win this battle. But I’ll make sure you’re as far south as south goes-“

“No!” I interrupted, shaking my head.

Tears brimmed in his waterline.

“I’m not leaving again….I just got you back. We’re going to grow old together, remember?” My voice broke. “Even if you’ve found someone else-“

“There’s no one else.” He brushed his hand over my cheek.

“If you fight, I’ll fight.” I spoke.

“You did have a really good teacher.” He stated. I playfully nudged him as he smiled.

“I love you…just Jon, I always have.” I finished.

“I love you too, princess y/n Greyjoy.” He kissed me again gently.

“Snow.” I corrected and he frowned. “Queen y/n snow.”

A smile took over his whole face.

“If you’ll have me, that is? King Jon snow.”

#jon snow #jon snow x you #jon snow imagine #jon snow fanfiction #jon snow x reader #game of thrones fanfiction #game of thrones #ramsey bolton #sansa stark #winterfell

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dollywheeler · 3 months

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October 19th, 1996

Dear diary,

Yesterday was so much fun! I haven’t been able to stop practicing Champagne Supernova all morning long. It’s still such a great song, and it’s even better now that I can play it myself.

It was weird leaving school with Mike yesterday though - first of all, to hang around after last period while everyone else rushed for the door, and then to wait as the school emptied out and Mike gathered his stuff. He had to make a detour past the office, so by the time we were on the parking lot it was basically empty.

I asked where Will was, and Mike explained that Will doesn’t have any classes on Friday afternoon so he went to pick up El from the greyhound terminal in Indianapolis. She is home again for a few weeks after spending the last two in Chicago with Max, Lucas, and Erica.

I was disappointed at first, but Mike assured me he’d be back for dinner. Just as I’d feared, it was awkward to be around Mike while it was just the two of us - I mean the only other time that has happened was when I was having a minor breakdown. It was a lot of awkward silence at first, asking stilted questions about how I was doing, and Mike tapping nervously on the steering wheel. I’d forgotten how twitchy he was, he manages to hide it well enough during class, but he does pace a lot, so that might be his outlet there.

Anyway, once he got back to his house it was a little easier - he got us something to drink and ran upstairs to grab his extra guitar - and then we settled into the sunroom to start practicing.

It was easy then - with the guitars between us like a barrier and having something to focus on that wasn’t each other. There was no expectation of talking about ourselves, no need to fill the awkward silence. The practice I got at at Stevenson’s paid off, as the intro to the song already went much smoother for me than it did Mike - I could even give him tips on shifting his fingers more easily.

By the time Will got back, I kind of regretted the interruption. It had been nice to spend time with Mike - after a while, it felt nothing like I’d feared; he didn’t make me feel small or like a child at all. For once, it felt like we were just friends hanging out. Even the moments where he was being too much of an annoying know-it-all older brother were strangely welcome.

I just don’t get why it couldn’t have been like this all along. Why, when he actually should have been my older brother, he was a million miles away.

I can’t think about it too much - I get too frustrated.

Anyway, Will got back and started on dinner while we continued playing. It was nice of him to cook for us so we could have more time to practice. Mom showed up right on time for dinner, and though tonight was a lot more casual than last time, it was just as nice. It's strange how quickly you can get used to something. Mike and mom mostly talked about Nancy and Jonathan’s latest work trip to Argentina. Apparently Nancy called right before mom was about to leave which is why she was a bit delayed. I think that made it easier for them - not having to focus on each other.

I’m sad I missed the call, so I might try calling her myself later tonight.

Anyway, I won’t get around to completing Song of Myself today as I’d planned, as dad and I are going on a spontaneous trip to the antiquities market in Bedford. I should have just asked Mike to read it to me while I was there yesterday. Hell, maybe I can convince Mike to just give me the cliff notes for Walden because I’m really not looking forward to having to read that next weekend. I already tried reading it once two summers ago, the last time we went to the lake, because it seemed appropriate, and it made me want to carve my eyeballs out from boredom.

I kept waiting for something to happen and all it did was make me want to rewatch Friday the 13th just so I could imagine someone chasing this guy around his cabin with an axe.

Anyway, I’m excited to go out with dad today. He’d just casually mentioned seeing an ad for the market during breakfast - I don’t think he was actually planning on going until I asked if we could go together so I’m glad I did. He doesn’t leave the house often enough these days. And I’ve barely seen him since school started because I’ve been so busy myself.

I heard him and mom arguing last night - though I couldn’t hear much, I’m pretty sure it was about having dinner at Mike’s. I really can’t fault him over it either. It’s just so confusing because Mike and mom talked much easier than last time, but seem to agree on not letting dad join us as well - I really don’t understand.

I know dad and him don't have much in common, but it’s not like they fought all the time either. Hell, dad doesn’t even yell ever - not even when Mike disappeared for hours on end and had mom worried out of her mind for the millionth time. I know I have no experience yet in being an adult but I’m sure having your parents over is just something you have to put up with - even if it’s against your will.

Besides, how can you actually learn to enjoy spending time with your parents when you never give them the chance? Nancy and mom get along better now than they ever did before. And sure, Nancy gets frustrated too sometimes with dad’s opinions, but she still comes over whenever she can and deals with it!

But what do I know, right?

Anyway, I really should be getting ready - dad wanted to leave before 11 and I have to be back in time for cheer practice.

Love, Holly

PS. Also mom called the developer and our homecoming pictures should finally be done sometime next week!!! I’m so excited to see how they turned out!

#holly wheeler #byler #mike wheeler #will byers #the third wheeler #fanfic #ttw #stranger things #st #Happy Birthday McKenna Grace!

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fernsnailz · 7 months

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February 2024 Review Roundup

well i sure did watch some stuff and read one book this month

the things i finished this month reminded me that for every incredible piece of art i find myself enjoying, i end up watching some Hot Garbage immediately after to balance things out again. idk why i do this.

i have quite a bit to say about both the things i enjoyed and the things that brought me physical pain this month, so there is um. a lot under the cut. any previous desire for brevity i had in january has been completely thrown out the window as i use these roundups as an outlet to gush about things i like and complain about things i didn't. fair warning, if you open the readmore you will be scrolling for a while. enjoy i guess

House of Leaves

does any other book out there have the balls to write a completely fake interview with stephen king

House of Leaves is a novel you gotta throw around a little bit. It feels really weird that my copy is still in the pristine state I bought it in - It seems like it should have water damage and smell like mildew with its pages falling out and spine cracked into pieces. Getting the full story from this book requires flipping back and forth, turning it around, searching for answers. All things considered it’s not that difficult of a read, but its format still allows you to feel like you’re discovering every hidden piece for yourself, and I really liked that interactivity. I was engaged pretty much the whole way through.

I don’t really think I’ll be able to revisit this book anytime soon though. It’s difficult for me to format what else I’d like to say about it because to be honest, it caught me off guard and disturbed me on a fairly personal level. There’s a relief I feel when I remember that I don’t actually know what was going on with the house - maybe that was intentional on the book’s behalf, maybe I just didn’t look hard enough for answers. I don’t know. But the implication that something divine was down there was enough of an answer for me. The book's good. read it if you want a spooooooky time or if you never want to look at a hallway the same way again

Doctor Who (Series 1-4) (rewatch)

ok so this is a fuckload of doctor who to cover so i’m gonna give some thoughts on a few of the characters and my favorite + least favorite episodes

9th doctor: My favorite butch lesbian. Christopher Eccleston truly embodies the concept of The Doctor so, so well: otherworldly guy who knows too much, genuinely cares about life across the universe, and also has a bit of deep, unresolved rage. His moments of joy and careless fun stick with me the most, he absolutely radiates with life and brings so much to this character.

Rose: I first watched Doctor Who when I was in middle school, and I didn’t like Rose that much back then. And guys. I have bad news. I'm still not really much of a Rose fan

I definitely understood her more this watch through - that desire for adventure and some sort of control over her life, emotions so strong that she’s willing to throw near everything away. That’s just what being 19 is like sometimes. I think Rose is a very compelling character who just happens to frustrate me a bit. And that’s kinda the point, her co-dependent relationship with the Doctor is doomed to fail and it's meant to hurt. Ultimately, I think when I first watched the show I was too young to understand Rose, and now I’m just too old to relate to her.

Captain Jack: Jack is my favorite character. I fucking love this guy. Dude has the worst luck in the whole universe and still cannot be stopped. Legendary. Every episode with him is a goddamn delight because he has so much chemistry with every single cast member. No notes 10/10 i love my problematic bisexual king

10th doctor: About four episodes into David Tennant’s run I realized that he dresses like a Hazbin Hotel character and it made me very sad. Still, there’s a reason this guy inspired every middle schooler to buy a pair of converse in 2008. He has style, he has depth, he’s got the sauce. It’s genuinely terrifying to see his anger, I like that a lot of 10’s run is about his denial of godhood and power over life in the universe, something that the rest of the time lords desired. idk i like my sad pathetic little weasel but he's also a huge fucking asshole sometimes which sucks. especially when it's directed at Martha.

Martha: Martha I am so sorry for what this show put you through. Martha was my favorite companion when I first watched the show, and I still have a huge soft spot for her. Her ability to hold her own and navigate foreign worlds using her own intelligence absolutely rules, and her drive forward is unbreakable. But the show seems to put her down at every possible opportunity, most notably with how 10 treats her. Her struggles and wants are constantly ignored, and she's often treated as a rebound from Rose. And I like that she eventually chooses to end it by not traveling with 10 anymore, but it hurts because it feels like she was never given the same chance or care that Rose and Donna were. This era of Doctor Who really doesn’t treat its black companions well because Mickey goes through something similar - both Martha and Mickey are characters designed to be ignored or left behind, and it sucks.

Donna: Donna Noble is one of the greatest fictional characters to ever exist. Despite seemingly living a fairly average life and working a fairly average job, Donna reflects the idea that no one is truly "average" and every single person is brimming with personality, life, and love. I love that her relationship with 10 is purely platonic, personally their friendship feels like it has a lot more depth than either of the romance-oriented relationships 10 had with Rose and Martha. 10 and Donna bounce off of each other so well and it's delightful, Donna brings so much humor and life to every world she's taken to and it's incredible. I wish her and Captain Jack could have interacted more.

My favorite episode: The Runaway Bride is hard to not choose as my favorite. I have a blast every time I watch this episode and it’s such a good introduction for Donna. Also the Tardis car chase kills me, I love when it cuts to the kids in the back of another car clapping and cheering. I was also surprised by the episode Midnight - it’s dreadful to watch and I kinda loved it. So much spirals out of control when shit hits the fan, even though no one has any idea what they’re trying to fight against. Really interesting exploration as to how fear can drive people apart.

My least favorite episode: It’s Love & Monsters. I wish I liked this episode - stories that follow regular ass people living in this world are often some of the best episodes in the series (Weeping Angels and all that). And this episode definitely has some of that. It’s honestly really touching to see this group of nerds get together and enjoy life in the first part of the episode. I think the antagonist of “guy who absorbs people” ends up dragging down any charm this story had because he just. eats all of the interesting characters. But despite me disliking this episode, I honestly have a deep respect for it - it’s fucking crazy. It ends with the main guy telling us about his sex life with his girlfriend who is now stuck in a piece of concrete. Where else are you going to get a story like this. It fucking sucks and that’s hilarious

oh also the production design: GODDDDDD I FUCKING LOVE THE PRODUCTION DESIGN AND SETS ON THIS SHOW. I love how dirty and rundown a lot of the spaceship sets look with wires and lights scattered everywhere. And a number of alien designs also go CRAZY with the prosthetics - I keep thinking about the Hath from The Doctor’s Daughter and how every head prosthetic had liquid inside it that could bubble. Absolutely crazy. I also love the moments where you can clearly see they did not have that much time and just had to throw something together or pain a bald cap green. Jank is the nature of sci-fi production design and I dearly love and miss that Doctor Who jank.

Rebuild of Evangelion

Last year after finishing the original Evangelion series + End of Evangelion, I remember going through the Evangelion tumblr tag and being very confused by the number of slice of life/found family-esque fanworks of the cast. It left me puzzled and thinking “...did we even watch the same thing??”

APPARENTLY NOT

[spoiler warning here because these movies are very good and i give the best parts away. if you want to watch these movies then DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!]

I honestly never expected a world where these characters got a happy ending. I so, so badly wish I could see 3.0 and 3.0+1.0 in theaters - these movies are stunning. I know I say things “go crazy” a lot, but man. They go fucking CRAZY.

While I have a few issues with how the first two movies adapted the original show, I do think the changes they made better serve the story this rebuild is trying to tell. For example, my favorite episode in the original Eva series is episode 18, where Toji is chosen to pilot Unit 03. It’s absolutely terrifying because Shinji doesn’t know who 03’s pilot is, yet he’s forced to be inside Unit 01 as it tears 03 apart. His resolve not to kill anyone despite not even knowing who’s in danger is an aspect of that episode I love and speaks to Shinji's inherent humanity, and when he learns Toji was in there it hurts even more. The rebuild movies change Unit 03’s pilot to Auska, and Shinji knows she’s in there from the start. I think this choice works for the movies and is still an effective emotional beat, but personally I still prefer the version where Shinji had no idea who was in there. That lack of knowledge is infinitely more terrifying to me.

I really like what these movies did with some of the angel designs though. The sixth angel (the fuckin. blue diamond cube thing) works really well in 3D/CG animation. The way the thing warps and moves is otherly and terrifying - and it’s just a fucking cube. I’ve always really loved how the Eva series approaches angel designs and the divine - despite the alien-like designs, there’s often something extremely familiar about them. They’re often reminiscent of an animal, a machine, or a human. This is also how they approached the anti-universe in these movies, I loved how it takes the form of various locations from the series and turns them into a movie set. It’s deeply familiar, but ultimately just an illusion of familiarity like the angels and the divine.

Also I gotta say. I fucking love Mari. I think she’s hilarious. She first meets Shinji by accidentally parachuting into him and then immediately starts crawling on all fours to sniff him. This girl also introduces “Beast Mode” where the Eva pilots can go wild turn their mechs into a fucking. superpowered beast of some sort. And also she defeats a whole army by using the Eiffel Tower as a spear. She’s such an absurd character and I honestly kinda love it. The only thing I knew about these movies before watching them was this gif of her Backing That Shit Up and she truly lives up to the insane nature of this shot.

My favorite section of these movies is definitely the first part of 3.0+1.0 where the pilots are basically just living a domestic life in a small town - it’s truly beautiful. The growth that Rei’s copy goes through here is fantastic, I love stories about seemingly emotionless beings learning how to live. And right after she dies, we get the shot that absolutely broke me the first time I saw it:

This shit. The way you can just barely tell he’s been crying from the red around his eyes. They don't talk about it, they barely linger on it, but it's allowed just enough time to punch you in the gut. I don’t know why this shot got me as hard as it did but goddamn. jesus christ. i want to throw up

There’s some goofy shit in these movies. The infinite synch rate. Misato’s stupidass hat and sunglasses. Some goofy ass 3D animation that doesn’t age super well. The rainbow that shows up every time an angel dies. But these things really didn’t take me out of the core of these films, and there’s so much genuine emotion and beauty in this series that had me absolutely hooked - especially in the last two films. They go crazy. My favorite line is 100% “The only thing a son can do for his father is pat him on the shoulder… or kill him.” and man. ain’t that what Evangelion is all about. i love these movies

High School Musical 3

kinda slaps just a little bit

High School Musical 3 starts with a finale number. The last high school basketball game of Troy Bolton’s life - and it goes kinda hard. The classic pep band brass that’s essential to so many High School Musical numbers returns, and the constant theme of two feuding cheer teams in the background? Genius. This is truly art. I love listening to Now or Never without visuals because in the middle Troy just starts coughing and gagging seemingly out of nowhere

Unfortunately, starting the movie at such a high point means that the rest of the runtime doesn’t quite match up to it. The story lags and meanders quite a bit, but part of me kinda appreciates that - it’s their last semester of high school, which is always a time of confusion and turmoil. However, I do have a pitch for how they could have countered the constant falling action this movie seems to go through:

The Wildcats should have lost their last game at the beginning of the movie.

What if the game is instead the inciting incident that leads Troy and his besties through their tumultuous last semester? Troy is still torn between basketball and theater, but his identity would be even further challenged here - is winning and success all that matters for him, or is it the love of sport and performance that keeps him going? idk whatever this movie came out 16 years ago i can’t be out here writing AUs for it jgnfsgfnjdksg

Some miscellaneous thoughts about this movie that i don’t care about formatting into larger paragraphs:

Ryan and Sharpay’s number (I Want It All) slaps as usual. The part where Ryan shouts “MADISON SQUARE GARDEN!!!!!!!” makes me so happy every time i hear it

The production design and sets go absolutely fucking crazy. I still have no idea how they pulled off the spinning hallway in Scream.

One of the classic staples of HSM is Chad’s shirts. Most of them are fairly silly and like something you would expect to find in the walmart clearance section. However, there’s one shirt he has in this movie that confused the hell out of me. It’s this one:

What the FUCK does Greenster mean. Is it just a combination of Green and Monster?? Why??? What green monster are we talking about here????? Where the fuck did this shirt come from?????????

Avatar The Last Airbender (2024)

There’s really only one word I can think of to describe what this show is like: sauceless. No flavor. No depth. No character. No sauce. This show is honestly so fucking boring and seems to fundamentally misunderstand what the appeal of the original Avatar series is - not necessarily because things are changed or removed from the original, but because nothing of substance is added in return.

Most of the characters are mere echoes of their original counterparts when compared to their source material. Sokka is reduced to a guy who wants to fight good, Katara’s stubborn and confrontational nature is very rarely utilized, and Aang’s mischievous antics and love of fun is sorely missing. One of the major reasons for the dull interpretations seems to be the directing - While I have faith that most of these actors are trying their best (especially since a number of them are kids/young adults), the direction seems to be incredibly lackluster and takes away nearly every cast member’s stage presence or personality. There’s a number of reaction shots of the main trio that just look like this: 😐😐😐 as if they were just told to “look concerned” at the events unfolding before them. And these issues are apparent in the majority of the performances - for example, General Zhao talks like he’s in a board meeting up until the last episode, and it’s an incredibly flat performance. He talks somewhat monotone in the original series as well, but this live-action take on the character often meanders with his dialogue and lacks that sharp, terrifying quality that I think this character needs. Uncle Iroh also feels incredibly stiff in this adaptation, and it’s a goddamn crime that they took away the cunty little outfit and chains he was originally wearing when he gets captured by earthbenders. wait who said that

Credit where credit is due, there’s a few cast members that seem to be giving their best. It’s clear that Aang’s actor enjoys the role and does pretty well despite the lackluster direction and dialogue he’s given. On top of that, I think Zuko’s actor is honestly the best part of the show. His take on Zuko leans much more into teenage tendencies and sarcasm, which, although it can be silly, is a welcome take of the character in my opinion and pretty fun to watch. There’s this one line he has at the beginning of episode 2 where, in an incredibly whiny tone of voice, he goes “He RAN! The ultimate warrior! He’s a Coward :((((“ and the read is so. fucking funny

The case of bad direction isn’t limited to the performances, however. It’s also stunningly apparent in how everything is shot. Despite being in a widescreen format, most shots are incredibly centered - you could crop the entire runtime into a 4:3 frame and you wouldn’t be cutting out much of anything. I’ve seen some speculation that this was an intentional choice to make things more adaptable or readable for TikTok/phone video, but honestly I think that’s a dumb take. I think the issue stems from a lack of creativity and thoughtless composition. Keeping everything staged in the center can make shots feel disjointed, lacking much depth, or completely empty. It’s a boring way to shoot and indicates that the show lacks any unique vision at all.

Overall, this show doesn't really seem to understand what makes Avatar interesting in the first place. It's more interested in spectacle and action than the characters' relationships, emotions, and mistakes. I try not to compare it too much to the original since it's allowed to take liberties with its adaptation, but very few of its changes add much to the end result or give it a unique voice. It's just sauceless and boring.

Some YouTube videos i liked in February:

💥 My House.WAD - Inside Doom's Most Terrifying Mod (some supplemental House of Leaves material for ya) 💥 Martha Jones Deserved Better (this video explains how Doctor Who did Martha dirty better than i ever could) 💥 bringing JUSTICE to the worst garfield game 💥 Selling Kids for Clout: The Downfall of Family Channels

And that’s my roundup for February! Thank you for reading, I promise there are no more reviews left to scroll through below this goodbye. Nope, nothing else I watched this month. Bye!

…ok is everyone gone. phew, i’m glad no one noticed i pulled an hbomberguy and hid the largest part of this post under a false ending. Anyway holy shit i need to talk about hazbin hotel

Hazbin Hotel

well i didn’t like it

Hazbin Hotel is a weird, fascinating mess of a show. Every episode left me wondering what creative decisions (or lack thereof) led to the sequence of images I just watched. There’s been a lot of discussion of this show recently and I’m not interested in covering every critique I have, but there’s a few things that I'd like to talk about somewhat in-depth.

Hell is real and it's just Red Chicago

The setting of Hell is kinda boring in this show.

Let me try to put this into perspective. Aside from the hotel, here’s a list of the locations we see in Hell:

A boardroom

A video store

Vox’s evil lair (it has cyber sharks which is kinda cool)

Various streets

Another boardroom

A BDSM club

Carmilla’s house (it’s gray and has. balconies?)

A porn studio

A bar

Another bar

A town square (full of cannibals)

None of these locations really take on any sort of otherworldly form besides some vague demonic imagery scattered throughout (and the cannibals. i guess. whatever). In short, Hazbin Hotel’s setting resembles Chicago more than it does Hell.

I can see a world where that’s intentional. Perhaps making Hell resemble a modern city could be used as a thematic tool or point of relatability? But Hazbin doesn’t really do anything like that - since the characters rarely ever interact with their environments, these locations end up seeming like they lack creativity, like they’re just cardboard sets where characters go to swear. They all start to blend together after a while - every street feels the same, every boardroom fades into the background, and every bar feels like a google image search result for the word “club.” This world feels stunningly empty despite the busy designs and colors. Even though the backgrounds are painted and designed fairly well, nothing of substance is ever really added to them through the story.

However, a few musical numbers take effort to break away from these settings. This felt like a weight off of my shoulders whenever it happened, it was nice to see some interesting setpieces and backgrounds that weren’t red. I liked the bombastic and over-the-top broadway lights in Loser and the glowing alternate world in Charlie and Lucifer’s song. But these moments are few and crowded by the dull locations in Hell - or worse, the Hotel itself.

Despite being the namesake of the show, the actual Hazbin Hotel is… lifeless. Which, yeah, it’s a hotel where dead people go in the afterlife, but it’s missing any sort of personality or history besides “it’s old and falling apart.” I expected the hotel to be full of secrets - like maybe some hidden passages or rooms, or mysterious cabinets full of rotted meats, or old valuables hidden under the rugs by the previous owners. Something for the cast to explore and discover, and as they get closer to each other they also start to understand the hotel more. Alastor seems very intent on keeping the physical hotel standing for some reason, but I never really understood why. There’s nothing there. And that nothingness is fully realized when at the end of the show, they just rebuild the entire hotel to be grand and beautiful - an emotional beat that didn’t hit me at all because I never felt like I knew the hotel in the first place. Despite rebuilding it from the ground up, it will feel just as empty.

3 SHOTS THAT DRIVE ME CRAZY

I was truly baffled at how some of these scenes are timed and put together. Multiple sequences left me feeling nauseous and dazed - the camera moves like it’s being swung on the end of a rope, and there’s so many misplaced or meaningless cuts scattered through these episodes.

There’s a sequence of three shots in the first episode that I want to dissect. I will fully admit that I'm breaching nitpicking territory here, but the shot composition issues in this show are pretty rampant and my analysis here is just a hyper-specific look at a single part of that larger problem. Hopefully you can also use it as a quick storyboarding lesson too idk

First, we see Adam teasing Charlie.

Then, it cuts straight to this shot:

A few things here.

Shot 2 is just closer on the characters, which is not a great idea to cut to after the previous waist-up shot. On top of being a jarring jump cut, there is no purpose for this new shot. All the information we see here (Adam laughs, Charlie fake laughs) could have just been conveyed in the previous shot.

Despite the characters being in the same position as the last shot, the background changes. This straight up just feels like an error. I think the idea is supposed to be that the camera is at a different angle, but the position of the characters does not convey that. It looks like reality changes behind them.

And if that’s not enough, this is the shot we get immediately after those two:

In this shot, the residents of the hotel sit on the couch as Vaggie walks into the shot, framing them between her legs. But there’s something… off.

Vaggie either looks like she’s floating or she’s three stories tall. Quick storyboard lesson as to why:

The main problem with this shot is that the perspective of the background doesn’t match up with where Vaggie is placed. The couch is framed as if the camera were above it, but Vaggie is framed like the camera is floor-level below her. I’ve traced the shot and added a perspective grid to hopefully better illustrate this:

Do you see what I mean? If the camera WAS actually on the floor like Vaggie’s position in the shot suggests, the composition would look more like this:

Notice how much closer the floor grid is to the bottom of the frame and how you can see the underside of the couch.

And to be fair, this is probably what the original storyboard for this shot looked like! Personally I think something went wrong in the compositing stage - this might be a couch background from another shot that was reused here to save time, or whoever approved this shot just let the error slide since the shot is so short (i've been there. sometimes you let the jank slide). Most animated shows will have some poorly framed shots and continuity errors because mistakes are bound to happen, but two egregious ones right next to each other like this is. pretty bad. It's so noticeable from a directing perspective.

Here’s the thing: these three shots happen in the span of like 10 seconds. Most viewers probably wouldn’t notice these issues, and that's fine. But even though these errors are quick, they stack upon each other so fast that even if you can’t pinpoint exactly what’s wrong, something still feels wrong. There’s so many other moments where the show breaks extremely basic shot composition, continuity, and staging rules - for example, the second musical number of the show breaks the 180 rule like four times for no good reason. The whole show feels like a dizzy, nauseating mess because the shots rarely feel like they form anything cohesive.

MY ROOMMATE TOLD ME TO GO TO BED SO HERE ARE SOME FINAL THOUGHTS

Here’s a rundown on some other thoughts that I don’t care to format into larger sections:

The show seems to lack much to say about sin and redemption other than “redemption good.” like sure, but what are they being redeemed from? Is heaven truly the place they deserve to go after being redeemed, even though it’s shown to be unjust? Are there sins that are too great to be redeemed from, or others that shouldn't be considered sins at all? I asked myself a number of questions like this, but never got many answers from Hazbin.

This show has a bad relationship with kink and sex. Both are mostly used as a punchline or a form of control. I didn’t like it. Perhaps the reason Hazbin never really comments on the nature of sin is because it needs you to consider sex and kink sinful or otherly for these jokes to hit.

Some of the animation is crazy good. I will praise any animator that even attempts to make these character designs move. A number of extremely talented people worked on this show, a few of the musical sequences in particular have some incredible movement.

Alastor is a very boring character. It’s wild that most of the side characters in this show only exist to talk about how much they like or hate Alastor, he mostly just stands to the side of some shots or kills random nameless goons. I expected him to have a much larger role in the story, but he just gets his ass kicked in the final episode and then crawls back to the hotel.

Episode 4 is the most cohesive, and i think Angel is the best character in the show. Unfortunately, the fact that Hazbin takes so much effort to show Angel’s misery left me… concerned? None of the other characters get treated as poorly as Angel by the narrative. There’s a few smaller explorations of trauma, but nothing remotely compares to what Angel is put through on-screen. This isn’t to say that I think the whole cast needs to be extremely traumatized and constantly miserable, but rather that I find it concerning that the only character subjected to incredibly graphic abuse and torture (that we see or hear about) is the gay sex worker. Which sucks, because I think the concept of hypersexuality resulted from sexual abuse is an important topic worthy of discussing in adult media. I just think they tried to execute this theme without much critical thought beforehand.

I think the voice cast does a fantastic job for the most part. Keith David is way too good for Husk.

I really liked the one shot where Charlie opens her phone and we see that she has a contact for every individual egg minion.

I was very brave and got through this whole review without talking about my new least favorite character of all time, Vox. here’s what I think of him:

The overall vision and end result of Hazbin Hotel is just mediocre. While I don’t know what led to the messy state this show ended up in, my guess is that it was probably the result of inadequate direction, sloppy writing, and lacking creative support from the studios involved. Because of this, please understand that I have no desire or intention to put down any individual artists that worked on this show - I hope it's clear that most of my criticisms are directed at the larger vision these artists were given to execute and/or the lack of creative support they received while working on this show.

I also don’t really have much desire to participate in any further Hazbin discussion or discourse because it has wasted enough of my time already and I want to be free of this curse. please spare my inbox from hazbin hotel discourse. please. i'm begging.

You want to know what the most fucked up thing about this is though? Despite everything I said about Hazbin, Avatar the Last Airbender 2024 is still the worst show I watched this month. I would take Hazbin over Avatar 2024 literally any day.

well if you got this far. thanks for reading. also sorry you read all that. whelp alright back into my hole i go bye bye

#to get to my hazbin hotel opinions you must first read my pitch on how i would have written high school musical 3 #jesus christ. either i gotta watch less things or learn to shut the hell up next month this is a longass post #review roundup #long post

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katherynefromphilly · 6 months

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Are you still doing the DVD commentary ask thing? This is one of my favorite scenes from the story, I've always loved how it acknowledged that Arthur really loved Gwen but there was always something between Arthur and Merlin. But I wanted to hear what you were thinking when you wrote it.

Scene:

“As I said, a battle wound,” Arthur told him. “It needs time to heal. Though even when it does, I’m certain I’ll still awaken some mornings expecting Sir Leon to burst into the room with word of an attack. Or one of my Counsel to be waiting for an audience. Or for Guinevere to be here in…”

Merlin flinched before he could catch himself.

Arthur noticed. He began to speak, then hesitated, uncertain.

“You expect Gwen to be here instead of me,” Merlin said, so that Arthur knew he still had a friend to confide in about such things, no matter what the two of them had become to each other.

“Yes,” Arthur said softly.

“Of course you do,” Merlin assured him, ignoring how strange he felt to speak of this while Arthur was stretched out half naked at his side in the royal bed. “Gwen was your wife, sire. Your queen. I’d-“ He swallowed, forced a smile. “I’d never think of trying to take her place. I know I never could.”

Arthur smiled at him, a small thing in the dim daylight that still set a sparkle to his blue eyes. “No, you couldn’t,” he said. “Just as Guinevere never could take yours.”

“As… your servant?”

“No, Merlin,” he drawled out, putting overtones of ‘idiot’ into his name. “Not as my servant.”

“Well what, then?”

Arthur pushed himself up to an elbow, his blond hair mussed and his cheeks pink with the heat of their bed. “I did love Guinevere. As much as I knew how at the time. But you…”

“Me… what?”

Arthur touched Merlin’s face, fingertips sliding down his cheek before tracing his lips. First the top, and then the bottom, and then the top again, all the while watching his own fingers with a wistful smile. “I remember staring at your mouth. From that first day we met. I remember telling myself it was because you had the pretty lips of a girl.”

“I do not have the pretty lips of a girl-”

“You have seen your lips, haven’t you.”

“You’re one to talk. Your mouth is-“

Arthur silenced him with a kiss, right where his fingers had been, before resuming his soft touches. “Do you remember what you said our first night together?”

It was difficult to remember anything at all with Arthur touching him as if he were something precious and rare, whispering as if sharing a secret. “I… No?”

“You said that in hindsight, it was obvious how you felt about me. You just didn’t recognize it for what it was at the time.”

“You mean… you…”

“Yes.”

“Even then?”

“Even then,” Arthur said. “So you see, right from the very start, before any of it, before all of it, your place was here. In my life. In my heart. In my bed. I’ll not hear of you doubting that. Not even for a moment. Do you understand?”

I’d be happy to talk about this scene. :)

Because I like to write in canon, I needed to keep Arthur’s love for Gwen in tact. In Season 5, Gwen’s character representation is all over the place (don’t get me started on the whole Evil Gwen thing), but in Diamond of the Day especially, which I rewatched A LOT, Gwen was smart, brave, and Arthur clearly loved her and respected her with all of his heart.

Merlin’s friendship with Gwen was really downplayed in Season 5, which sucked, but fundamentally she cared for Merlin, and he did for her as well. I also wanted to respect that in my story, especially because it added a nice layer of internal conflict and guilt for Merlin at taking her place.

So in this scene, we have Merlin and Arthur laying naked together in Arthur’s actual bed from Camelot, after they’ve just had sex the first time. As I wrote them finally talking to each other about how they felt, I could feel Gwen’s presence with them.

I wrote the little exchange between the two of them to give Gwen her place as friend and wife and queen to Arthur, and to also settle Merlin’s insecurities about who he is in Arthur’s life. I also wanted to show that Arthur has been doing some reflecting on his life back in Camelot (through his new understanding of his own sexuality), and acknowledge that he actually was attracted to Merlin all that time, only didn’t realize it, just as Merlin hadn’t either.

There are a lot of stories out there with a lot of different takes on Arthur and Gwen. I’ve read a bunch of them, but of them all, the one that I think influenced me the most — and influenced the different way I see Arthur loving Gwen and Arthur loving Merlin — is probably “Lights Go Out, Here I Go Again” by halffizzbin. Just take a look at this beautiful passage from that story:

“Arthur loved Gwen in his other life, of course, with as much of himself as he possibly could—and that was enough, at the time. He misses her, a gentle ache in his heart that eases a little when he thinks about the long life he’s told that she lived when he was gone, ruling well in his absence and surrounded by loyal friends. He’ll love Gwen forever, probably, but.

Merlin is something else. Merlin has always been more than forever (something they’ve already proven by sitting across from each other eating curry right now). Merlin is sunlight and flame and clear, rushing water, too much for Arthur to control and never enough to quench him, and maybe it took Arthur dying for him to realize it but oh, he wants. He wants things he never realized he could have, before, when his life was all planned out for him and his servant still seemed like this wild, unknowable thing even after all those years, beloved and strange and always slipping out of Arthur’s grasp.”

DAMN I love that last bit in purple. If you want a good read, hit the link up above. It’s short and sweet and rated Explicit. Still one of my all time faves.

#bbc merlin #merthur #altcotywba #and like the cycle of the year we begin again

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 11 months

Text

🪓 Nerdy Prudes Must Die - Some Thoughts 🪓

I decided to rewatch NPMD (second day in a row 🙈) and wanted to write down some random thoughts and reactions because why the fuck not 😌

‼️ SPOILERS FOR NPMD BELOW ‼️

I loved this show from the second it started omg I love things about murder 🤭

“Riiiiichie… Riiiiiichie…” — kind of gave off IT vibes ngl

They really killed off Jon Matteson’s nerd character in the first 35 seconds 💀

“They twisted his nipples off 🤣” - WHY WAS HE SO HAPPY ABOUT IT

THE PROJECTION OF THE TITLE IN THE VICTIM’S BLOOD, STARKID HAD HELLA BUDGET FOR THIS SHOW 🙌🏻

“🎵I’m dead…the blood is arbitrating from my head🎵” needs to become a trending TikTok sound or something oh my fucking gOD

LAUREN YOU QUEEN 🙌🏻👏🏻 also living for that fucking wig

MARIAHHHHHHH 🎵❤️

Definitely felt the “High School is Killin’ Me” “I’m so fucking dead” in my soul even though I’m a full ass adult now

“I was deep in a Twitter fight about a problematic puppy” ROFL OMFG

Joey as Peter Spankoffski 😭👏🏻

ANGELA AS GRACE CHASITY HELL FUCKIN YEAH SHE IS EATING THIS PART UP

We all knew someone at school who snitched to the teachers lbh 💀

“So you don’t wanna be bullied?” “No, I wanna be invisible.” “…then why do you come to public school dressed in suspenders and a fucking bow tie?” - PLEAAAASE 💀🤣

MICRO-PETER 😂💀

Joey taking off his glasses and going “oh god” under his breath, “IT’S NOT ACTUALLY A MICROPENIS”… oh he ATE the role, R*bert who?!?

“My titties are tenderised” - I MEAN SAME BUT-?!?

“I didn’t know you were funny.” “Neither did I.” “I like funny guys.” — I AM SORRY BUT IM ALREADY SHIPPING HARD

Actually obsessed with Richie’s hair and outfit like I can’t explain it other than I’m obsessed

IT’S MAX JÄGERMAN

“Ohh well there’s a difference between intent and impact - I learnt that at an anti bullying assembly last month, FUCK NUGGET” took me off guard tbh like I know I’m tired and easily surprised but still 🤭

GRACE CHASITY PROTESTING THE CO-ED HOMECOMING DANCE I CANNOT-

Jägerman is literally the archetype of the school bully jock who peaked in high school like omg but also he’s into Grace?!?!

“I run laps in the gym and I don’t want to slip on any SPUNK” - FUCKING HELL

“Can I carry your books for you?” “Carry my books? 🤢 I don’t think either of us are ready for that, I mean we’re only 18!”

“My little dirty girl.” — 😳😲😮‍💨

“I am only one man’s girl, Max, and his name is Jesus Christ!” — IM FUCKING HOWLING ANGELA KILLED THE DELIVERY OF THAT LINE I CANT-

“I’m a literal monster!” - oh so Max is self aware then 🤔

“This is politics, Stephanie 🙄 learn to multitask!”

I love that Starkid keep casting Corey as Mariah’s dad?!?

Stephanie is apparently her father’s “October surprise”… so her birthday is in October, like Hannah Foster’s? 🤔

“Stephanie, please, I’d like to have an intelligent conversation with you - in other words, shut up” - DAMN WHAT A BURN

NOOO NOT HER PHONE 😰 (I am also addicted to my phone so I get it lol)

NOT STEPHANIE THROWING HER HAND BETWEEN HER PHONE AND THE HAMMER OMFG (same though)

Mayor Lauter really said “I don’t give a shit if you lie, steal or cheat to get your grades up, just don’t get caught” - spoken like a true politician

“How am I supposed to study without listening to Spotify?!?” probably should not have resonated with me like it did 🤭

Peter trying to make a joke and Richie and Ruth not getting it is so relatable tbh

I’m obsessed with Ruth’s mushroom jumper tbh

“I just want someone to touch me… anyone, PLEASE” — ROFL (same girl)

“What was it like when she touched your arm?… DID YOU CUM?!?” — 💀💀💀💀

“You and Steph, it’s a fantasy - like a boy and his anime love pillows. It’s a beautiful dream, but I’ll never hold the real Rei or Asuka in my arms.” — I AM PISSING MYSELF LAUGHING JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

“I’m such a loser, telemarketers hang up on me” 💀😭

DID RICHIE JUST FUCKING SAY “NANI!” JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I CANT DEAL WITH THIS SHOW 🤣

Richie and Ruth climbing Pete like a tree and demanding to know what Stephanie is saying is so ridiculously funny 😆

“Really, Ruth? A Star Wars analogy? Need I go into why Attack on Titan is superior in every possible way?” — STARKID UNDERSTAND THE NERDS I LOVE IT

“You’re telling me I gotta be funny again?!? I didn’t do it on purpose the first time!”

“Pete, you’ve been given a once in a lifetime opportunity - someone’s willing to tolerate your presence for a whole evening! This may never happen again!” — damn wish that would happen to me 😭🙈

Not Pete getting a boner during “Cool as I think I am” 🙈

Nooooo not Max finding Pete before he could go into the restaurant to meet Stephanie 😭

“I’m sick of your ssshhhhit!” — YES PETEY STAND UP TO HIM

The fact Max said “Rendezvous” as “Randay-Voose” 💀

The way it transitioned from “say your prayers” to the Chasity family going “AMEN” was PERFECTION

Grace’s father referring to his wife as “mother” is…something 💀

“He came up to me in the hallway and he asked if he could carry my books.” “Oh, Mark - I didn’t know that sort of thing happened at Hatchetfield High! Do you think you should call the boy’s father?” — ?!?!?!

“Mom, will you pass the butt stuff? The butter. Butter. Will you pass the butter? (Chuckles nervously) I just want some head and butter. BREAD! Bread! Bread and butt-sex to go with this big shaft of meat I’m gonna choke down. Oh boy…oh criminy!” - THE SCREECH I GAVE WAS UNHOLY

“I’ve just got some butterflies in my tummy; and they’re flying REAL low today” 😭💀🙈

GRACE FANTASISING ABOUT MAX IN THE BATH I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS

“Brewing up a big ol’ pot of dirty girl soup” - ABSOLUTELY NOT 💀

HES FUCKING SHIRTLESS WHAT THE FUCK-

“Everyone’s got their secrets, and this one’s mine. I love… Jesus! 😃” - this was when I definitely knew she was fantasising because ain’t no fucking way-

WAS THE DIRTY GIRL SONG SUPPOSED TO BE VIEWED AS HOT BECAUSE I AM VERY FLUSTERED AND CONFUSED AND TOTALLY VIBING WITH THE TUNE

🎵 DIRTY DIRTY GIRL WON’T YOU PRAY FOR ME🎵

You see, if Christian parents didn’t repress their teenager’s hormones and sexuality then MAYBE their teenagers wouldn’t resort to murder 🙃

Grace’s dad saying he’s going to get the plunger when she said she was doing a big poop 😭💀

Grace really thinks that impure thoughts only happen after marriage and I almost envy her innocence

“Money isn’t everything… looks are.” - yeah no that about sums people up in this day and age 😑

“We thought you were waifu material, but you’re just a bully” — NOT WAIFU MATERIAL 💀

PETE’S BLACK EYE NOOOO 😭🥺

Grace is kind of a psychopath and I’m loving that for her tbh

“I’m not comfortable with the plan if it involves that kind of language” but she’s comfortable with filming someone getting terrified and pissing their pants 💀

The “the place is not structurally sound” comment was DEFINITELY foreshadowing

“I get pus in my pits!” Jesus ☠️

🎵🤌🏻we’re gonna bully the bully🤌🏻🎵

“We’re gonna cut off his nips!” - what is with the obsession with n!pples in this show 😳

I’M SORRY BUT THIS IS ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WHEN THEY TALKED ABOUT KEEPING THE BEANS COOL

“You’re like super nice to me 😀” “…not really. I’m just doing the bare minimum here.” “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” “Oh, that’s sad!” — 😂😅🤣

“Okay, Richie, be honest… Am I reading as ghost or Lin Manuel Miranda” — OH FUCKING GOD IM CACKLING

“You kinda look like that homeless guy from downtown” 💀 FOURTH WALL BREAK?!?

Max must be VERY drunk because ain’t no way he thought Pete was a ghost or Ruth was actually a skeleton 💀

“Grace, we gotta abort the plan, it’s not working!” “It’s working for me, he’s so violent! 😍”

Not Max actually being touched by them putting this whole thing together for him 💀 very much giving off himbo vibes and I love him for that

MAX FELL THREE STOREYS

Oh my GOD THE FUCKING MAKE UP ON MAX FOR HIS DEATH SCENE HOLY SHIT

“NERDY! PRUDES! MUST! DIE!” — oh hey it’s the name of the show! 😃 And also it was written on the wall in… oh 😳

“I did get a lot of incriminating footage of us luring him here with malicious intent!” - uh oh

“My god! We’re going to jail! And with my luck, no one will even bother making me their bitch!” — PLEASE 💀

“It wasn’t murder, and it wasn’t an accident… it was an act of God! 😇” - Grace is UNHINGED

“No more tickling in our mommy spots!” - OUR WHAT SPOTS?!?

“🎵🤌🏻 We’re gonna bury the body! 🤌🏻🎵”

“Oh no she’s snapping again”

“I just cut off his nips 😌” - again with the nips?!?

DAN AND DONNA 😃😃😃

“Two weeks of heartache” - cut to all of his classmates happy without his influence 💀

STEPH PASSED THE TEST! 😃

“Ya know, this is really your C+.” “Oh Steph… you can keep it. It’d really bring down my GPA.”

Steph asking Pete out to the football game 🥹😁 we love to see it!

GO GO NIGHTHAWKS! 😃🦅 (I know it’s an eagle emoji there’s no hawk emoji 🙈)

“N, I-G, H-T… *squawk squawk* Ks!” 👏🏻🙌🏻

Richie is the team mascot and they wanted/needed him in the huddle 🥹

They apologised for bullying him 😭👏🏻

“And we’d like to apologise in advance for if Max ever comes back, ‘cause we’ll probably go right back to doing it”

“Fuck Clivesdale! Fuck ‘em straight to hell! Assholes!” — AGREED! 👏🏻

I’m 90% sure Jon actually struggled with taking that mascot top off but it worked well with the scene so 😌

“I love being alive! 😃” — oh he’s so about to fucking die, isn’t he?

IT’S MAX CALLING FOR RICHIE HES BACK FROM THE DEAD

MAX’S COSTUME/MAKE UP IS AMAZING OH MY GOD 😌💅🏻

“Should’ve joined the smoke club you nerdy prude” — ANOTHER SMOKE CLUB REFERENCE

Every song on this soundtrack fucking slaps I LOVE IT

There’s not very many men that can pull off being absolutely absolutely fucking terrifying while dancing and singing across the stage but Will Branner managed it so kudos to him

The bit where Richie was repeating what Max said (“who will pray for me? When I’m gone?”) was INSANELY GOOD

“What did they find? You don’t say…you don’t say!” “What’d they find, dad?” “They didn’t say” - 💀

“Oh heck… I’m so hecking fudged”

“*relieved* Oh well we don’t know anything about that one!” “Or ANY one!”

“Maybe it’s a coincidence. People tell me to die every day!” — Okay why is Ruth kind of me 😭

THE FUCKING CAMEOS IN “HATCHET TOWN” ASDFGHJKL?!?! ZIGGY?! MAN IN A HURRY?!? GERALD MONROE?!?

“Ohhh I remember before the lockdown” - yeah me too 😅

THE BARBECUE MONOLOGUES GOT ME HOLLERING 💀

Ruth walking onto the stage and into the spotlight 🥺 literally she was me this whole scene omg I relate so hard to most of what she said ASDFGHJKL

Lauren ATE that song up by the way

MAX KILLED HER BY WEDGIE-ING HER IN TWO AND THEN PUT THE PANTS OVER HER HEAD WHAT THE FUCK MAX 😭

Him telling her to “project” so those in the back row could hear her triggered me so bad as an actor omg 😳

Grace really accusing the entirety of Clivesdale 💀

As soon as the WWJD bracelet was brought up I KNEW what was going on 😭

“Who’s plan was it, Grace?” “It was God’s plan! And now he’s leaving me out to dry! Do something, you son of a bitch!” 💀😅🤣

Grace has lost her fucking SHIT and I fully support that for her

“Show Me Your Hands” musical refrain?!

BEANIES?!? PAUL AND EMMA?!? 😭😭😭 ITS FUCKING PAUL AND EMMA I CANNOT-

“Cup of roasted coffee” refrain too?!?

PAUL GAVE EMMA HIS NUMBER 😭❤️

PAUL + EMMA IN EVERY SINGLE TIMELINE, EVERY SINGLE UNIVERSE-

“EXCUSE ME I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR WHAT FEELS LIKE FIVE FUCKING YEARS AND I STILL HAVE NOT RECIEVED MY GODDAMN HOT CHOCOLATE” 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀😂😂😂😂😂 I FUCKKING CANT IM DONE

🎵”Don’t need a lover boy need a lover man / sure I’m a sapiosexual and you’re intellectual but I’ll cut my lover losses when I can” 🎵 — this song goes so hard omg

Grace pushing between them and shouting “leave room for Jesus!” 💀

“Do we need to get ahold of Ruth?” “Good luck getting ahold of her. Does your phone pls cover calls to hell?” “…Hell?” “She’s bisexual and dead, where else would she be?!?” — 💀

Grace whipping out the gun and telling Steph to cool her beans was so iconic of her

“(Canadian accent) ‘Cause if I’m going down, you hosers comin’ with me, eh” — OH MY FUCKING GOD

Doesn’t shock me a cop would arrest Paul for zero fucking reason, fuck the police 💀

“All I wanted was to be a regular girl with no sexual desire until she was safely married 😭” the FUCK-

“Don’t comfort her, she’s fuckin’ weird” 💀

“I don’t give a shit who you kill - but you just had to go and do it in that house, didn’t you?” — Mayor Lauter really said “murder is fine but NOT in that specific house, you fucking idiots”

THE LORDS IN BLACK?!? 😃 WIGGLY AND BLINKY AND POKEY AND NIBBLY AND TINKY?!?!? FUCK YEAAAAHH

“She gave me head in her car - check it out!” *throws Miss Tessburger’s head onstage* — BRO THE FUCK

WELP I GUESS MAYOR LAUTER IS DEAD THEN?!?

“Detective Shapiro, are you a woman of faith?” “Catholic.” “I’ll take that as a no” — THE FUCK GRACE 😑

They’re really about to summon five otherworldly entities who are evil I’m-

The Summoning screams CRACK and I’m living for it

“Hello Fwendy-Wends” - SCREAMING LITERALLY FUCKING SCREAMING

“WE DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR PHONE” TOOK ME OUT ASDFGHJKL

SHE CHERISHES PETE 😭

“Pay the price or fuck off” 💀

Can I just say that I need would love a show specifically just about the Lords in Black fucking about and it’s Jon the whole time as Wiggly exactly as he was during the Summoning scene because that was AMAZING IM SHAKING-

The fact Pete cherishes Steph and she cherishes him oh my hEART 😭

“Hey Steph, if things were different, would you wanna come to homecoming with me?” “I’d like that, Pete. I’d really like that.” - SHUT THE FUCK UP NO 😭😭😭

Not Max saving Pete from being shot 💀

“So you do know the Bible!” — GRACE OMG IM SCREECHING HELP

“But Jesus never threw a football like you, Max” - WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

Max being confused about what dirty girl soup is and then being turned on when she explains 😭💀

“Take me, Max, right here on the 50 yard line!” — oh dear gOD

Max’s struggle over whether to kill Steph and Pete or whether to bang Grace omfg 😭😅

THE NOISES OFF STAGE OMFG WTAF 😭💀😂😅🤣

Grace got Max kicking his feet, twirling his hair, after one shag, just like a teenage girl 💀 I’m crying so hard with laughter I can’t cope with it-

GRACE GAVE HIM HER CHASTITY AND SACRIFICED WHAT SHE CHERISHED MOST ASDFGHJKL

PETE AND STEPHANIE AT HOMECOMING TOGETHER ASDFGHJKL ✨T H E M ✨

Grace choosing not to get the dance cancelled and she brought a date?!? That’s character development! 😀

She let Jason walk her home?!? O_o and then asked him to kiss her?!?!

“That was… absolutely disgusting! Really, Jason?!? Kissing on the first date?!?” Oh noooo 💀

“You’re a dirty perv, Jason”

SHES GOT THE FUCKING BLACK BOOK IS SHE SUMMONING THEM AGAIN

🎵DIRTY DUDES MUST DIE🎵

Well thIS TOOK A FUCKING TURN DAMN

Anyway, 11/10, immaculate, amazing, incredible, show-stopping, would recommend to everyone of course and will definitely be rewatching it a LOT 🪓

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snoopyliker · 3 months

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final thoughts on the third season of ordem paranormal: desconjuração

desconjuração was a season like no other in the aspect of it feeling very experimental throughout all of it. i can’t say i enjoyed it as much as aop or osnf, which i believe to be in part of the pacing of everything, it felt incredibly slow at times and others too fast. and i think that is what makes it a season i’d struggle to rewatch. which is very unlike the other two seasons that’d rewatch in an instant.

don’t get me wrong it wasn’t bad. i don’t think anything done in this ordem universe can be bad. there were so many memorable moments especially between characters and so much world building alongside some amazing creatures and the new heavily implemented ritual mechanic. but i think what truly carried this season were the players themselves.

what unfortunately set it behind compared to the other seasons truly laid in the pacing for me, everything else was good! about 45% of the entire season takes place in one location which felt like a detriment to the story. even though arguably it seemed to make sense. i feel like it could’ve been disbursed more neatly as to not feel so repetitive and boring. as well as to not make the episodes feel like they just drag on and on as we watch our heros run back and forth in a single house.

additionally after episode 6 it feels like a rift between what comes after. almost like two completely different series. which isn’t surprising as it marks the point where their mission transforms into another. i found myself quickly losing interest after episode 6 where liz was killed. her inclusion in everything was cool and maybe this is my bias talking but it felt maybe even too early on in the season to kill her. i think i would’ve preferred for her to actually get the time to bond with the newer characters so they grow a similar attachment to her like joui, arthur, and kaiser had so that her death didnt feel so small for the huge character she was.

another issue i felt with this season is that the story itself felt unnecessarily convoluted. but not in the fact of the mystery because the mystery itself wasn’t that difficult i mean convoluted in the amount of side stories. there were so many individuals parts and so many pieces involved into this single story that it felt almost like the players weren’t quite following along at times. and i think that was in part with so much information being hidden in that house that it just started stacking upon everything and didn’t quite assist in the actual end of it all. in the finale the most important parts were just handed to them by the sumerian being translated for them and being told the order of the desconjuração, gal explaining kians backstory, and kian explaining his plan. everything else in that moment felt inconsequential. though a lot of it was interesting and i’m sure will be brought up again! i’m more criticizing the fact that the main questions in the investigation like what is desconjuração? who is kian? what is the end goal for the escriptas? were seemingly answers given to them at the end after spending literal episodes learning the history of a haunted house that didn’t actually assist in those main questions. awesome that we learned so much but the fact that so little of what they spent episodes learning made any difference in the end felt….. sacanagem.

anyways those were some of my criticisms for this season which i dont mean with any malice i did truly enjoy watching this season it just fell short in some areas for me.

now when i say that the players carried this season i mean THE PLAYERS CARRIED THIS SEASON. singlehandedly the reason i kept coming back. these characters were incredible. their development. their actions. their choices. everything about them i loved. i need to praise the players roleplay as well because holy fuck each and every one of them delivered some performance in this season that made their characters shine. each and every one of them. genuinely left me astonished at times. i wanna point out calango specifically here because not only did he do an amazing job entire season but even with kaisers death he gave us a moment i will not forget and then cellbit revealing the photos and the recorded message that he chose to do all by himself i wish i could hug this man for putting so much love and care into a character that im going to miss so fucking much.

i also wanna praise the npcs because cellbit has made me so attached to ivete and agatha and hugo i swear to god if anything happens to them. the way cellbit plays these characters so wholeheartedly is admirable. i also think his work as a master this season was incredible. he multitasked and juggled so much shit the entire time. genuinely massive props for telling such a great story.

another detail i loved this season was the rituals mechanic. i cannot put into words how i simply cannot go through another season without it. such a good choice for players to feel motivated to explore and search in their surroundings as well as to fight the paranormal. increase your exposure and get stronger, stand a better chance, live. its so fucking smart.

also i cannot lie despite the sadness im feeling right now looking back at every character death.. they were fucking sick as hell. every emotional scene in this season completely sold it. despite it being a season i know i’d struggle through again like i mentioned previously it is still a season i’d rewatch for the characters and all the badass scenes and dialogues the players gave us. i look forward to seeing if we learn anything else about joui despite him not exactly being all there. thinking of the reality where he didn’t join the sect and he was able to go home that day and make cake for his family and be with them all together just one more time. thinking about how kaiser sacrificing himself for everyone is exactly what joui had done. thinking about them giving everything to save the people they love. thinking about their shared grief.

you know i was gonna say the whole “a desconjuração é brutal” was a bit of an exaggeration until that last episode. it is in fact brutal. but before that it was a fucking walk in the park ya hear me!!!!

i still need to watch the revelando:) im excited to learn more about the more technical stuff

#doplivevodding #epi 20

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theshortolivia · 4 months

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Get to Know me tag :)

Was tagged for a get to know me tag game by @deerlisteners and these are fun so thought I’d do it for the like two people who will see it, even though, they are both childhood friends and know all this…

1. Are you named after anyone?

Yeah! My moms named me after the character Olivia Benson from law and order because she was a ‘strong independent woman’ like they wanted me to be and they also both had a crush on her/the actress who plays her. Bonus fact I’m p sure if I’d been born male they woulda named me Josiah

2. When was the last time you cried?

Uhhh, I got emotional and ALMOST cried at the ‘shoe scene’ (can’t be any more specific cause Huge spoilers) when rewatching Jojo Rabbit, I DID cry when I saw it in theatres and I HIGHLY recommend it as a comedy satire but also a harrowing reminder of history we should never forget (and for taika waititi of course). Um last time I actually cried I don’t remember cause recently my mental health has been depression apathy and not anxiety tears but it was Probably out of frustration at my chronic illness limiting what I can do, not a fun anecdote unfortunately but sometimes it be like that

3. Do you have kids?

I do not and I don’t plan on having any anytime soon for economic, chronic illness, and age reasons (I’m 22 lol I am Not settled in life I don’t even live alone). I would like to have kids when I’m older and more settled health and money wise, I love kids and feel I have so much love and care to give, i think I’d both enjoy and be a good mother. Also, I’d like to have them ‘traditionally’ because I’d like to experience pregnancy and I have some good genes lol. I think I’d like to have 3, partially because I do think I will love to raise and love children but also largely because I want my kids to have multiple siblings and to have a bigger (I know that’s not large in the grand scheme but for like, this day and age and economy and etc) family and for their kids to have multiple aunts/uncles. I love having a brother and wish I had more siblings, I wish I had a sibling closer in age that I could relate to, but I do still enjoy taking care of him and him being my baby brother. I also used to have 5 aunts and uncles (well 10 since they were all married ig) and many many cousins of all ages before we stopped talking to that side of my family, and I have two uncles (and my aunts their wives) and only see a few of my cousins due to where they live, and I am so glad I have family gatherings that big but I do miss the giant ones too, therefore I want for my kids what I have and love.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

I am NOT a sports girlie. Up until I was 12 ish I was a very into ballet and modern dancing (would’ve continued but alas anxiety struck) and after that I did musical theatre which is its own style of dancing, incorporating all different types. I’d love to go back but since I stopped dancing due to a steady string of anxiety, anxiety medication side effects, foot problems, and then finally chronic fatigue syndrome, I’ve become out of shape, have really bad feet, and REALLY struggle to find time to take care of myself. I do want to start exercising again in ways that don’t require me to have functional feet like weight lifting, aerial dancing (those fabric strip things) etc. But I am Not good at sports nor do I like it, sorry. I remember basketball in elementary being the most frustrating and volleyball being,,,ok

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Hm in general i don’t think I do actually, I’m a pretty earnest and straightforward person myself and idk using sarcasm feels negative? For me? And I strive to be as positive to others as I can be. (Not that sarcasm is always mean I just feel like it don’t my Vibe ykwim) but I’m also somewhat socially and subtextually dense so I think it makes sense I don’t use something I may not be the best at understanding unless it’s obvious

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Hmm, I think that varies a Lot, it’s probably usually either makeup, clothing, hairstyle, or tattoos if they stand out or if they’re something I’d want myself or am attracted too or like aesthetically. I always try to get up the courage to compliment people on things I notice because I feel good when I get complimented so I want other people to feel like that too :) also actually since I’m a cashier and people hand over cash and point cards often I usually notice nails. Oh I also notice extremes in height immediately, I’m short so people shorter than me are like woah! And people super duper tall are also like Woah!

7. What’s your eye colour?

Dark brown

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

TLDR happy endings, I’m a sucker for happily ever after to the point where if it didn’t end happily I’ll probably write or st least daydream a fan fiction ending where it does. ESPECIALLY romance it Always gets me. I do like scary movies though, especially psychological horror, although,,,In The Tall Grass FUCKED ME UP (the movie, I don’t read stephen king books cause his writing style makes me uncomfy but man does he have some fucked up terrifying horrible ideas for for him)

9. Any talents?

Ig that’s kinda complicated cause I’d probably call myself a jack of all trades (but master of none). I was one of those kids that was praised for being good at like everything the first time I tried it and now as an adult has to learn how to study and have a huge issue of getting frustrated and stopping anything I try that I’m not immediately good at therefore never being able to improve because I’m not practicing. But I’ve been Told by teachers, professors, and other people that I’m quite talented at singing. I starred in some musicals in elementary school and studied vocals in high school, in choirs the whole time too, so I’d say I’m like, sort of trained in musical theatre and opera and I Have worked to improve my voice. But I was also told that apparently when I was 3 ish I grabbed a mic and went on a stage (probably at play group or smth idk) and belted twinkle twinkle little star and parents laughed and said I’d be a star one day so idk maybe I just have that star quality lol. Oh I’ve also been commended for my acting skills back before I did acting? But I haven’t done much of late and wouldn’t consider myself exceptionally skilled, I want to be though! I uh also had a period in high school where I discovered I liked (and was good at) academics and excelled in science and math and focused Heavily on that, getting awards and whatnot. I’m not gifted but my mom and grandfather are (were, granddad is not alive) and I definitely did get their big brains.

Oh also I’m like a professional daydreamer at this point I write whole ass stories in my head most of which Never make it to the Google docs and I’m Amazingly talented at oversharing I’m sorry in advance tell me to stop talking I literally won’t mind I promise I ramble Too much

10. Where were you born?

Ontario, Canada

11. What are your hobbies?

Too many. I have this issue where I like too many things so I spread myself too thinly to commit to spending enough time practicing on any one thing to improve, and then on top of that have this thing where I can’t just do something for fun I have to be Good at it (which I think stems from being a Talented Kid™) BUT here’s a list here we go it’s long

Singing

Acting

Dancing

Cooking

Baking

Writing

Makeup

Learning languages (I’m shit at it tho)

Linguistics (how languages WORK is So Cool)

Driving

Drawing

Learning about cool science things namely psychology, genetic, otherwise biology, or nuclear related

I’m not good at this yet but I wanna get into mixology for fun and also as a job

Can’t sew v well yet but I think it would be So Fun and also good to know cause I have to hem every other pair of pants I get

12. Do you have any pets?

I live w my parents still n we have a dog who’s actually my brother’s service dog she’s a huge black lab named Marshmallow and she is full of so much love but not a lot of thoughts, and we recently got a tuxedo kitten i got to name Carmilla (Carmilla is the name of an 1872? gothic lesbian vampire novella that came out before dracula, see my kitten loved to hide n is super duper fast and also play bites, hence, vampire)

13. How tall are you?

5’1 or 152cm

14. Favourite subject in school?

Too many uhh in high school I rlly loved general biology, my vocal classes (which we learned solos in Italian, German, and musical theatre genres and etc it was amazing), my intro to sociology, psychology, and anthropology class, my human development throughout the lifespan class (I wrote a super cool paper on the theory of infantile synesthesia which tbh is probably the best paper I’ve ever written), and my drama classes. In uni so far I’ve enjoyed my year 1 biology class, Especially the second half cause it was like almost All genetics (soooo fascinating!!!), I Loved my Japanese class which was hard as hell but so fascinating and awesome (I love languages and how they work, and Japanese being so different from my native language of English was really interesting, I also really like Japanese food and culture and nature so learning the language was partially because I think it’s a wonderful language but partially so I can go to Japan at some point), my psych intro class was fascinating and I especially enjoyed the parts on sleep and consciousness and on sensory and perception, those parts of our brains are sooo cool I also really liked my Health Psychology (relating our body to our mind was eye opening and very interesting) class. All those classes had super interesting subject matter AND really amazing sweet and helpful professors. Oh my intro data science class was cool cause I got to do shit of coding which was fun and rewarding

15. Dream Job?

Ok so remember the ‘jack of all trades but master of none’ thing? Liking and being somewhat good at many different things is rlly not helpful for deciding on careers, the end of that phrase ‘but better than being a master of one’ I’d say isn’t true cause I do think being good at One thing has its pros and cons, a pro being it’s def easier to decide what to do. I’ve been told I could probably make it in the opera industry, and I would love to act and sing for a living, whether that’s theatre, film, or voice acting, preferably I’d love to do them all tbh. It feels narcissistic to admit but I do like the recognition for performing, I relish the applause I get during curtain calls or after a solo, I wouldn’t say I Live for the applause but I do like it, I think I’d like to be some level of famous. However I know that’s not easy to attain and I also would love to be a teaching and researching professor of psychology and genetics. I love presenting and teaching and am very good at it (my best marks are always on presentations lol) and I love researching concepts that are interesting to me, like for example if I had to write a thesis right now I’d probably write it about the possibility of finding the epigenetic patterns that cause hereditary depression, anxiety, etc, and use CRISPR gene editing technology to correct those thus ending the cycle of hereditary mental illness instead of putting the bandaid of a medication on it. Also I know that coding and computer science is lucrative right now and I did enjoy my taste of coding so I’d also love to look into that. I Do want to make a lot of money so I can afford to take care of those I love (and myself), be more sustainable, and enjoy some extra things in life like fancy and unique or uncommon to my culture food

No pressure but Also tagging @dragonheart1330 :)

I probably didn’t even say One thing @dragonheart1330 and @deerlisteners don’t already know lol as I said I am soooo talented at oversharing

#tag game

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cubffections · 2 months

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xinnie ! may i request… all questions in the ask game for you n argenti… i want to learn more abt you two! ໒꒰ྀི ∩ ⸝⸝ ∩ ꒱ྀིა ♥️

awea ‎.. rae .. thank u 4 givin' m' tis opportunity 𐡋՞⑅ ʚ̴̶̷̷ 𓊪 ʚ̴̶̷̷ ⑅՞ᱩ i rambled a little much durin' answerin ! >< hope it isn't teww much my precious luvs !

sunday ⭑ do you and your lover have children?

no but ! ! i rlli do want them 𐔌՞⸝⸝ʚ̴̶̷̷ · ʚ̴̶̷̷⸝⸝ ՞𐦯 i absolutely adore children soo much n rose is also fond of them ! buut he believes since he’s constantly on journeys he’d be absent most of the time & he doesn't want tht for me or our baby! :c tho if i culd steal a wubbaboo n mak it my bwabie . . i wud ٩(๑`o´๑)۶

film ⭑ what’s your favorite movie? what’s theirs?

ooo . . castle in the sky for us both 🥹 watched it recently & ‘s v much a comfort movie ! gosh i adored evrythin abt it + snuggling’ in rose’s arms made the movie even mor enjoyable <33 though my personal fav genre is fantasy & his is action ! ( oh oh if i had to pick a old long time movie : cheetah girls 2 ૮꒰˶´˘`˵꒱ა i’ve rewatched sm fur various reasons n had tew show argenti >< )

cheesecake ⭑ is there a sweet treat that the two of you adore and love eating together?

mm a fight between glazed croissants & chocolate cake ? we lovee the taste of chocolate 、especially opera cakes ! but i try to hide my sweet tooth :p though if he’s the one giftin’ them i will eat @.@ ! on the other hand , argenti also doesn't rlli care for overly extravagant desserts nommin’ down on some glazed croissant ( or jus sweet bread ) is enough :3 !

tune ⭑ do you two dance in the comfort of your home? what are your favorite songs?

YES ‎𐡋՞⑅ ʚ̴̶̷̷ 𓊪 ʚ̴̶̷̷ ⑅՞ᱩ ! ! dancin’ around wif rose is my favorite thing evr ! not to mention he’s unexpectedly such a gud dance partner ? he knos how much i adore dancin’ in general so he alwys finds a chance to spin me in his arms ꒰ᐢ⸝⸝⸝⸝ᐢ꒱ waaa . . just being in his arms as he sways with me & looks into m’ eyes make me extremely giddy ໒꒰՞ ܸ. .ܸ՞꒱ა⋆⑅. our favorite song to dance too is definitely : lady love. & love goes around comes around. ❤︎ argenti’s favorite being lady love n’ mine being the latter ! !

espresso martini ⭑ do you and your lover like hosting dinner parties?

mm no, we would rather be guests than hosts ( ˶ᵔᵕᵔ˶و) though if we evr had to it wuld b argenti’s chance tew introduce me tew every1 he’s evr encountered . . which wuld b alot . . ໒꒰ྀི˶•⤙•˶꒱ྀིა goodness my social battery may nawt make it ! ! i’d most likely be following him around n trying delicacies tht i would lovee tew make !

wicker basket ⭑ how do the two of you feel about picnics?

honestly m not veri sure ! i personally hav nvr had one so i’d lik to believe tht i’d enjoy the sight of flowers && nature bwut be jumpy thanks to how much of a homebody i am >:o . . but knowing rose he’d love them ! while i’m squirming away frm anything on the ground tht culd bother mi he’d encourage me to focus on the beauty of the picnic instead ( ⁎ᵕᴗᵕ⁎ )❤︎ ( which probably doesn't wrk but hey ! at least he tried :3 ! )

sofa ⭑ when did you move in together?

the moment i find out he didn't jus live in his ship . . ᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ WAA it’s rlli a funni story realli bcs since he's always flyin’ around i wz like 💡 omg prbz he lives inside there ! so when i asked him during a walk, “is it comfy sleepin’ inside one and only during travels ? wouldn't you rather sleep in a bed?” which he agreed to, then continued to tell me— “ fortunately, if the planet offers an inn i would rest there, but i could always return back to my house.” & yea i jus felt dumb . . ໒꒰ྀི˶•⤙•˶꒱ྀིა BWUT to cut myself some slack、he followed up saying that that he was barely there anyway ! ! which was why i was so determined to move in and make that house into a sweet home for him to return too more often ૮꒰˶´˘`˵꒱ა

bouquet ⭑ do you keep flowers or plants in your home?

waayy tew many to count ! it started with me making the home more bright and more homely :3c but when rose caught gist of that soon vases & vases appeared around our home with so many different flowers from every planet he ends up on ՞⸝⸝ᵒ̴̶̷ 𓈞 ᵒ̴̶̷⸝⸝՞ i culd jus remember him telling me about penacony & sending a photo of the huge bouquet that reminded him of me most (*ˊ˘ˋ*)♡ it was quite alot but i plan to make sure not one of them die !

morning sun ⭑ how are the chores split in your household?

hmm, there are not many chores to take care of other than dusting, tending to the plants and occasional sweeping ! so if there is some to do it’s mostly me doing them since i love cleaning <3 though he helps whenevr he can ! ( sometimes he forbids me frm cleaning if i ovrdue it :c but we are both very neat and tidy people ! )

shooting star ⭑ what does a date with the two of you look like?

oh gosh i was excited to answer tis one (*,,ÒㅅÓ,,)و so as you all know my dear knight is quite known throughout the cosmos :3c thanks to his wide connections he always finds the most amazing spots for date nights ꒰ঌ❤︎⸝⸝ʚ̴̶̷̷ · ʚ̴̶̷̷⸝⸝ he surprises me endlessly with reservations at the most sought seats at restaurants or resorts he had discovered during his trip ! ! while i would him take him to places i found beautiful on my side if i joined his venture <3 its our own special thing ! <33

moonshine ⭑ do you have a skincare routine?

yes ! ! though i believe argenti doesn't need it the way he appears flawless no matter the situation ! it’s a simple one though, i just wash, cleanse, serum ( sometimes hehe ) and then apply sunscreen ! ˙˚ʚ(꒪ˊ꒳ˋ꒪)ɞ˚˙ nd dun forget the occasional charcoal face masks ! he luks so cute with a fluffy eared headband holding back his adorable bangs ugh !! he’s just to die for guys i’m soooooooo in love !!!!!

teddy ⭑ are there stuffed animals on your bed?

ooo definitely ! literally cannot sleep wif out dem ٜ ྀི ͚ɞ̴̶̷ ·̮ ɞ̴̶̷ ͚ ྀིᡘ݂❤︎ rose brings adorable cute ones that would remind me of him if he can’t see me for a while </3 though when he does come back its something like this ↓

lavender ⭑ what do you do to relax?

waaa well if it’s jus me . . i adore taking walks or watching the stars to relax ! it’s comforting and lets me process things when needed <3 i also take walks with rose but us reading a novel together is also my favorite way too relax ໒꒰՞ ܸ. .ܸ՞꒱ა whenever i ramble he always listens so intently that it makes my heart flutter just looking up back at him ..

fade into you ⭑ favorite sex positions?

(▭-▭)ゞ missionary is a agreed favorite 4 the two of us ( LIK HAV U SEEN HIM ?? i can cum alone just staring at his face writhe with pleasure GOODNESS :)?:’s ) , my personal fav will alwys b pronebone ( we hav a entire foot difference .. heart eyes .) & his is surprisingly cowgirl ꒰ˆ‎꜆‪⸝⸝⸝⸝‎꜀ˆ꒱ do wif this information as u will . .

in dreams ⭑ what do your pajamas look like?

omgie xixi funfact but i hav a pajama collection ! ! i love evry type of nightwear i can find ૮๑•̀ㅁ•́ฅა argenti on the other hand usuall sleeps in the undergarments of his armor <3 though i bought him some rose petal decorated top & bottom pajamas ! must mak him wear one of these nights mueheheh ! !

waaa if u actually read all tis tusm i had fun writin all of these ! rmbr u r loved by mi always ! ! ✺⋆* (⸝⸝⸝´▽`⸝⸝⸝)⋆*✺ 🌹⭐️

#𐔌❤︎ ꣓ㅤ ˖ 𝓪𝓻𝓰𝓮𝓷𝔁𝓲 ྀི ౿#our playlist played as i typed up each of these c: heart full

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