#I’d absolutely shat myself | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hyogonokitsune · 3 years ago

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haikyuu boys as things my fwb has said to me, part 2

atsumu

I may or may not have slightly edited my tinder photos to make my ass look fatter

I hate having manners

I’m gonna kill myself I just found a tick in doomah. doomah? do mah nuts fit in your mouth 😎

is it weird for me to be obsessed with how big all my friends’ dicks are? whatever

oh, I’m kinda surprised you didn’t smack my ass just now. did you want me to? yeah 😔

oikawa

I just... really wanna get pegged

why didn’t you tell me my lips were so chapped?? I look disgusting

happy pride month, my bisexual queen. although I think you should be wishing me a happy pride, because I’ve recently developed crushes on some UFC fighters and it’s making me question some things

I hear that cum is a good skin soother

I’m only obsessed with select men’s penises

kuroo

only bad bitches have IUDs 😤

look at how small my dick is when it’s soft. just a teeny lil winkie

your coochie is immaculate

a clown must always ride around in his or her clown car, metaphorically, physically, and emotionally

I almost got into an accident the other day. I was, uhh, playing chess on my phone on the highway

I vacillate between a lovable moron and a hyper intelligent troll

suna

*shares positive feedback I got from a professor* that means he wants to stuff you

my friend paid me $50 to do shrooms with him, so that’s why I’m tripping at the gym right now

I’ll pay for us to go mini golfing, and then I’ll take you out for dinner but I’m just gonna pay for my own meal :)

I might have become like a low key drug dealer. just a little bit

middle parts are 💯

osamu

*sends him a picture of a cake I made* that looks BUSSIN

I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little bitter that all these ticks are crawling on me and none of them are on you

those trees that smell like cum are blooming again

I wanted to kiss you just now, but I have Taki breath

do you think it would be disrespectful to bring some snacks with us on this walk through a cemetery?

do you remember that park we were in last night? apparently they found a body there a few weeks ago. whatever

bokuto

how soon is too soon to piss in front of someone in the woods?

the neck is one of the body’s androgynous zones. you mean erogenous zones? yeah that’s what I said

*gets not one, but two bowling balls stuck in the gutter*

sorry I can’t hug you for too long, I might get a boner and we’re in public

kita

come here, let’s enjoy the transient beauty of nature together

are you feeling touch starved? you want a hug?

I’m sorry you had a bad day queen 😔

he needs some goat milk to straighten him out, show him some discipline

sakusa

this is the most disgusting city on the planet, god bless 🙏🏼

god damn, my skin is absolutely glowing today

you’re my favorite little whore

hinata

what’s your wifi password? uhh, BingusBingus

hey can I give you a penny? just so I can say I’ve paid someone for sex

it’s easier for guys to pee wherever they want, but pooping is the great equalizer

I did not shit in those woods. I shat in some other woods

I’m smarter than the average pill bug

iwaizumi

is it homophobic of me to not let you win at bowling?

you sometimes speak like abe lincoln

do I pick friends based on if they are attractive? sometimes

tanaka

I just farted outside of my friend’s house and sent it to him as an audio clip to antagonize him

I just pissed for 55 seconds, who wants to try and beat my record?

god gave me a dick and balls so I could helicopter them at my nemesis's funeral

I’d let you do literally whatever you wanted to me. that made my balls happy reading that

I don’t get the hot boy attention I deserve from enough women

kenma

you listen to music while you go on walks, I listen to podcasts on bloodborne lore while I go to the gym using my stolen membership, we are not the same

quarantine did irreparable damage to my brain

*sends a picture of him holding a frying pan over his sleeping friend’s head* I’m about to tom & jerry this bitch

➣masterlist

➣taglist (let me know if you want to be added!)

@crystal-lilac @rinniesbbygirl @rinsangel

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csmeaner · 3 years ago

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CS has made me such a snob and I’ve met lots of people with similar attitudes but I don’t know if they realize it yet:

“Oh, that design will never be worth much so I’d better save for something better.”

“That’s a beautiful design, but it’s not brand name. Maybe I could get it just to look at, but I’ve gotta focus on my Popular Shit so people know what a Popular Piece of Shit I am.”

“This design has XYZ elements out of place.”

“I couldn’t be seen dead with this design. Absolute cringe.”

Yanno what, Mod Shit? I’m gonna return to the forest and go feral. Cringe is dead–long live cringe.

Gonna dust off my old sparkledogs, my Warrior Cats, and all the other dumb shit I put away because I wanted to be a member of the “in” crowd and be “cool”.

Yes, this sparkledog has an obnoxious color scheme. I like it. Fuck you.

Yes, this anthro’s markings are never the same from drawing to drawing. I like it. Fuck you.

Yes, I’m drawing the cringiest, “I’m 14 and this is deep” emo art to express the fact that modern capitalism sucks. I like it. Fuck you.

Yes, I got this weird-looking-cat-that-could-be-a-dog-who-knows for the equivalent of 30 cents and I like it. Fuck you.

Yes, I draw like a blind man with the shakes. It’s fun and I like it. Fuck you.

Yes, this is just a bunch of color shat out onto a page. I like it. FUCK YOU.

In summary, fuck you, and fuck myself for becoming the equivalent of a wine snob over art. Art is supposed to be fun and freedom, not some stupid pissing contest about who can spend the most money over the most popular brand name pixels.

be free, anon, be free and shake your little frog ass as much as you want

we are cringe

but we are free

#general

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oexen · 3 years ago

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Everything that just happened only further highlighted when I kind of spoke about how intense the Arcana fanbase can be.

Fictif is so chill. ^>w<^ I don't want to go back to the callout posts, toxic discourse and controversies.

No hate though, seriously. The Arcana fandom has many wonderful people and content, but it got pretty tiring because of the fanbase.

I just want to relax and share my love of an otome game with others that share same interest and have fun civilised discussions with others about why we love the characters and stories that we do, but that is too much to ask for within the Arcana fandom.

I still play the game and enjoy making content for it, but I'm keeping most of that private now and steadily distancing myself from the community to let myself breathe.

ok bud like no shade to u, do as u like! im not sure who u are tho lol soz 🧠

personally i havent been around as long as a lot of other people in the fandom and seeing the faction i fell into get baselessly shat on in multiple instances…. not super cool or fun to me, but i also dont just sit here waiting to get into fights or posting about entitlement on the “other side” of the fandom either yanno. i’m offline a lot but having something inspiring to make content for and play in an idea sandbox has been cool

i never really participated much in any fandom before but i’m enjoying my time here and doing my best to stay in my own damn lane lmao

im also not typically terribly bothered by people fabricating things and actually making mountains out of molehills, in reference esp to tone policing people asking for certain content and similar, to be clear, not critiques of how identities and other aspects of the game should be treated better. if it’s something small and is just gonna be about someone mad about something inconsequential like (xyz is annoying) and negging peers and other fans (ie, strangers) over something that isn’t otherwise harmful, i’d rather not waste my time stewing over it.

i know next to nothing about fictif, but from what little i have seen, it’s not particularly enticing to me at all, at least right now. i don’t pick up games and stay interested like i have for the arcana very often. i’m very fond of the arcana and its characters and think it’s tastie conceptually, and i’ve also interacted with some really great people in the fandom who have become very important to me, so im good hanging here tbh. not everyone can get along super well, but we can at least try to be kind and polite in general lol

i think probably in any fandom there will be folks somewhere that build strawmen and try to blast others for no reason, and if you don’t see or don’t want to see it, great, you absolutely don’t have to. ig my point is i don’t like to let others dictate how my time passes or how my experience is in this way over the internet, and to me it’s not fulfilling to agonize over smaller non harmful things, and i’d rather make things that make me happy even if i’m not really interacting with anyone, tho bonding w people who snack upon my own content is def a nice bonus

i’m also not really on other social media either, and while that’s for unrelated reasons, it might help lol

sorry if ur op and i come off mean, that’s not my intent; i’ve seen a couple other posts before w similar issues, buried now and blocked lol. courtier stan negging is not an isolated incident unfortunately, but i hope it doesnt ramp up

#bees answers #anon #long post #tea maybe #discourse perhaps #negging

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leam1983 · 3 years ago

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I do wonder...

Do I come on too strong, sometimes?

I Reblog something, add a comment I think is just that- commentary - and I'm told I sound condescending, arrogant or ignorant. I apologize, try to mention I didn't want to make things worse; and it backfires epically.

It's happened a few times on here, and a few times IRL. Much more rarely in meatspace, so I'm starting to think I have a warped perception of what's seen as tactful, online. Less context to work off of. Out there, there's pitch and tone, delivery, timing - I can usually infer when I'd better keep my mouth shut well enough - but on here? Something triggers my interest, I figure I'll be disregarded in the worst of cases and, well...

Oh boy, am I not.

It's the shittiest talent imaginable: finding the absolute fucking golden moment to land something I think is innocent and just press someone's buttons royally.

I don't think anyone here skims someone else's entire blog before Reblogging anything, right? Nobody here checks for context or tone, it's all off-the-cuff and things generally go well?

I'm starting to think I should. I maybe wouldn't have commented on someone who'd chosen to draw art on an old book's pages if I'd known circulation and reuse was such a hot-button issue for that one user that I'd obviously come across as that one well-meaning guy who just says One Thing Too Many.

Nobody here wants to come across as pedantic or arrogant. I toy with some aesthetic aspects of verbal snootery because, fuck, I ate and shat Postgrad material for four years. Prevarication's an old friend, and I like slipping in more blunt statements to try and ease up on the reader's experience. I think I try and be nice to most of those I interact with because, hey - who actually wants to be a raging asshole, right?

Welp, I now am a few people's idea of a contrarian, a prescriptivist, and possibly a self-important prick. Not that I want to, though. Should I issue a second apology to that last one? "Listen, I apologize, I didn't know this would cut so close - if at all?"

The worst part's the lasting anxiety. In the Real, you can just own up to your mistake, walk up to someone at an appropriate moment and, well, act like a responsible adult and take responsibility for things you said that you didn't mean to be hurtful.

On here, there's no act of presence. I could Reblog their response with a few variations on the same basic theme of self-admonition, retraction and humility, and I don't know how they'd take to it. They tagged their response as being repostable, so that's it, right? It's set in stone.

I'm the asshole, I guess.

If this were a tangible convo, I'd at least feel soothed by my having physically and verbally held myself accountable for my own words. Now, though, as things are?

I have half a mind to delete that Reblog chain, but I also have a policy never to self-censor my blog. You won't consistently get my name or my location, but my thoughts are real. Owning up to them, to me, feels like the mature thing to do - warts and all. Stupid bullshit and all.

So, I'm sorry. To all and whoever this applies.

I'm trying to get better at this.

#thoughts #accountability #being an asshole #being someone else's pedantic jerk

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arrow-guy · 4 years ago

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Broken Flock (11/??)

Summary: It’s been two years since you uprooted your life and left to figure out who you really are, leaving behind Bucky and Clint with little more than a note as a warning. Now, New York is calling your name and it’s time to go home. How will Clint and Bucky react to your return, and how will the time have affected your relationship?

A/N: Okay I’m actually kind of really excited about this chapter. I feel like it got away from me a little bit for a sec there in the first half. That being said, I really love the end of this chapter, and I hope you guys will as well. Please enjoy!

Page dividers by @carryonmyswansong

Pairing: WinterhawkxReader

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: Discussion of human experimentation (not in depth), Discussion of politics (the Accords)

Part 10

“I didn’t expect to be stuck in a conference room for this.”

“Trust me,” Steve says. “I didn’t think it’d come to this either, but-”

The door bursts open and everyone turns to look. General Ross stands in the doorway, hands behind his back. He looks too smug for my liking. If I weren’t so sore, and if I knew I wouldn’t get in trouble, I’d wipe that look right off his face.

Steve groans. “We had a change of plans.”

“Ah, so good of you to join us, Ms. (Y/L/N),” he says. He strides through the room to stand at the head of the table and address us. “I was beginning to wonder where you’d gone.”

“Last I checked, I don’t answer to you,” I snap. “None of us do.”

“You dropped off the map for a good two weeks.”

“I was kidnapped.”

“Even so-”

“What the hell is this about?” I cut in. “Because I was under the impression that this meeting concerned myself and the Avengers alone. Not you and your little government issued lackeys.”

“You’re awful hostile for someone speaking to her superior,” he ground out.

“Who, me?” I glance around at everyone in the room. “I’m a civilian and the Avengers are a private organization. I don’t work for you, Ross. None of us do.”

“You will,” he says. “When the Accords are put into governmental procedure.”

“See, I don’t know if you’re ever going to make headway with that little project of yours.” I shuffled around in my seat before leaning on the table. “Considering the fact that you refuse to work with one of the biggest players in this, who knows how many signatures you’ll get.”

“To what do we owe the displeasure, Thaddeus?” Tony asks.

Ross’ eye twitches. “You missed your deadline.”

“We were a little preoccupied in finding (Y/N),” Steve says. “As she said, she was kidnapped. You would know this if you’d read any of the correspondence we sent you concerning this.”

“And we wouldn’t be in this position if you’d quit running in circles and rejecting any kind of amendments we suggest,” Bucky adds. “We’ve been trying to work with you on this for months, yet you never seem to be able to make up your mind on what you want from us.”

“He wants complete and total control over the Avengers,” I say.

“Excuse me?” Ross grinds out.

“I said, you want to control the Avengers,” I repeat. I look to Natasha. “Did I stutter? I don’t think I stuttered.”

“Not that I heard,” she says.

I look Ross dead in the eye. “Do you need me to speak up? Or would it be helpful if I just signed instead?”

“(Y/N),” Steve warns.

I glare at Ross, but sit back in my chair. “Sorry.”

“You’re not in trouble,” Steve says. “But I don’t want you to say anything incriminating.”

I simply nod and keep quiet. Steve gestures to Tony, who stands to face General Ross.

“We weren’t planning on announcing this today, but we’ve given your proposal some serious thought, and we’ve decided to turn you down,” Tony says.

“You’re what?!” Ross hisses. “You can’t do that!”

“Can’t we? Because we’ve been operating independently for the past two years, and things seem to be going just fine. The only major incident we’ve dealt with since Sokovia-”

Ross interjects, “Which was your fault, if I’m remembering correctly.”

“Shut the fuck up, Thaddeus,” I snap. “You don’t get to interrupt people just because you’re a General.”

Clint snorts and I squeeze his knee in a silent plea for him to be quiet.

Tony clears his throat. “As I was saying, the only incident we’ve dealt with since Sokiva has been (Y/N)’s kidnapping. And we managed to find her just fine, no thanks to you.”

“And,” Natasha says. “If I’m remembering correctly, we’ve been fully functional since S.H.I.E.L.D. went under, even without asking for any assistance from the likes of you.” She tilts her head to the side and folds her arms. “And yet you expect us to just hand ourselves over to you.”

“You just don’t get it, do you?”

“No,” I say. “I think we understand perfectly. You think that the Avengers have too much power. The only way that you can see to ensure no one gets hurt is to put a leash on them. And I can see where you’re coming from, and your care for the public, if you can even call it that, is commendable. But this ass backwards, roundabout route you’re taking is absolutely fucking absurd.”

“You said you’re not part of this team!”

“I did, but I never said I didn’t have any kind of stake in whether or not the Accords are approved. I have powers, remember? I’m directly affected by whatever kind of legislation is put in place because of those Accords. But you could never understand that, because you’ve only ever seen people like us as power hungry egomaniacs. But look around.” I gesture to the room. “No one here asked for what we got. Bruce and I were accidents, Steve was a scientific crapshoot, regardless of how successful, Bucky was kidnapped and brainwashed and experimented on without his consent, Natasha and Clint’s backgrounds are questionable at best, and Tony was blown up by his own bomb. His first suit was built out of necessity, not curiosity or the need to seize power.”

“(Y/N)...” Bucky murmurs. He takes my hand and squeezes it gently.

“By all means, work with the Avengers. But quit acting like you’ve got the moral high ground, because all you've done is set up roadblocks and refuse to compromise in any capacity."

Ross looks down his nose at me. "You've got a lot of opinions for someone so vehemently against being part of their team."

"Well, you’re ready to imprison any single powered person who doesn’t sign, simply because you deem us to be threats.” I narrow my eyes. "But last I checked, you can't arrest someone for having opinions."

"Maybe not, but you certainly seem to know more about the Accords than what's been made available to the public-"

"We've kept her up to date with the proceedings," Steve says. "She has every right to know about something that would change the way she lives her life."

"That's not a decision for you to make."

Steve simply shrugs. "You never said anything about our discussions being confidential."

“Why you-”

“You do see the position you’ve put us in, right?” Steve presses. “We’re trying to work out ways to protect our loved ones, powers or no, and still do our jobs, but you keep blocking every single suggestion we make. You want us to cooperate, but you make it impossible.”

“You say that as if you’re not trying to bend the Accords to work for you.”

“No,” Tony says. “That’s what you’re doing. Your unwillingness to collaborate with just proves (Y/N) right. You don’t want to work with us. You want to control us. Because we’re not predictable, and that scares you and your little government buddies.”

Steve rises from his seat and stares Ross down. “See, we’d be happy to work with you. But that means working with us.”

Ross tries to protest, but shuts his mouth when Bucky stands abruptly. Bucky’s glare can only be described as glacial. No one says a word.

Ross shifts closer to Steve and Natasha shoots up from her chair. Clint, Tony, and I follow suit. I shake out my wings to make myself look bigger than I am and squint at General Ross. He’s startled to find all of us resisting him and turns back to Steve, only to find him with a similarly cold expression and his arms folded across his chest.

“If you’re not going to work with us,” Steve says. “I suggest you leave.”

“Fine.” He looks around the room at each of us. “But I will be back.”

“Until you’re ready to compromise, you’re not welcome,” Tony quips. “But we’ll gladly escort you out.”

Ross seems to know he’s been beat and makes a hasty retreat. His lackeys follow him from the conference room and down the hallway, back to whatever they arrived in. When I’m sure they’re gone, I sink back into my seat and cover my face with my hands. My heart is beating out of my chest and every ache from two days earlier is back with a vengeance.

“Are you okay?” Clint asks, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder.

I nod and turn to press my face to his shoulder. “Too much excitement for one day, that’s all.”

Clint hums in agreement. “I don’t think he’ll be back for a while.”

I laugh. “Of course he won’t, he got stared down by a room full of Avengers. He probably shat himself as soon as Nat stood up.”

“Of course he did,” Clint grins at Natasha. “She’s terrifying.”

Natasha snorts and Clint tries to make another joke to actually make her laugh. Steve watches them and I wait till I can catch his eye to say something.

“Is it safe to assume that wasn’t part of the plan today?” I ask.

Steve sighs. “No, it wasn’t.” He glares at the door. “General Ross seems to have a bad habit of showing up when he’s least wanted.”

“And ignoring anything he doesn’t want to hear,” Tony adds. “I swear, we sent him at least three notices about the delay, and he just ignored every single one of them.”

“You seriously put off negotiations to find me?”

“Of course we did, (Y/N),” Tony says. “You’re family. You know what we do for family.”

I frown. “Drop everything.”

“Exactly.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, sweetheart, we did.” Bucky takes my hand. “We weren’t going to leave you behind after everything we did to find you last time.”

Tears prick at the corners of my eyes. I blink them away and whisper, “Thank you. All of you. Really.”

“There’s nothing to thank us for,” Natasha says. “Don’t argue with me about this.”

I laugh, but sniffle a moment later. “Okay, I won’t.”

“You wanna tell us why you actually wanted to meet?” Clint asks.

“Right,” Steve shifts in his seat. “We believe that we’ve apprehended everyone involved with your kidnapping, (Y/N). They’ll be tried and probably sentenced before the end of the month.”

“Oh, wow.” Surprised, I look between Steve and Tony. “I forgot how quickly you work.”

“We put in a rush order for our favorite Sesame Street character,” Tony says.

I laugh. “So I’m Big Bird now?”

“Well, you’re smart, you care about your friends and family, and you’re nice. Well…” He gestures vaguely. “Most of the time.”

“I’ll take it.”

Tony hums. “I started looking into Hoffman’s research, and it’s pretty grim stuff.”

“Oh?”

“A lot about genetic mutation and splicing animal DNA with human. From what Banner and I have found, she’d been doing this for a long time, and getting away with it, too. Based on her notes from the last five years, you’re her most successful experiment, and she didn’t even know you existed until six months ago.” He sighs. “I won’t go into too much detail, but the plans she had… she’s bad news in every sense of the phrase.”

“I got lucky, then.”

“I didn’t want to say that, but yeah. You did.”

“I see.”

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). You shouldn’t’ve been mixed up in any of this in the first place.”

“It’s not your fault. She would’ve caught up to me eventually. It’s not like ten foot wings are easy to hide.”

“All of that aside,” Steve says. “They’ll be going away for a long time. The rest of their lives, if we can manage it. They won’t be able to get to you ever again.”

I nod. “What’ll you do about Ross?”

“If we can manage it, we’ll keep pushing for reformed Accords. None of us want to be limited in what we can do, but it was easier to operate when we had the power of a government agency or two to back us up.” Steve shrugs. “If he can’t agree to that, we won’t be signing.”

“And you’re all cool with that?”

Tony nods. “We’ve argued over this for months, and getting your insight as someone on the outside helped as well. We’re not backing down from this.”

“Good. There’s no reason to roll over just because some dickhead bully demands it. He needs your support on this. He’s blind if he can’t see that.”

“Our thoughts exactly,” Steve says.

“Has she been cleared to go home yet, though?” Clint asks.

Steve nods. “She’s good to go as early as tomorrow morning.”

“Great,” Clint says, his relief obvious in his voice. “Simone has to go out of town on Saturday and without her, there’s no one left to dog-sit.”

Natasha rolls her eyes and Tony makes makes a joke about Clint’s loyalties lying elsewhere. I can’t pay attention to any of it, though. My thoughts keep straying back to what it’ll be like to be back in my apartment and away from the rest of the team. I can’t help thinking that it’ll be a little more peaceful, especially with the constant sounds of the settling apartment building around me.

Bucky squeezes my hand and I shake the fog from my head. “Hm?”

“You okay?”

I try to reassure him with a smile. “I’m fine. Just trying to plan what we need to do to get ready to go tomorrow.”

“We’ll head out bright ‘n early tomorrow. Okay?” I nod and he kisses my forehead.

“You’re sitting in the back, Clint.”

“What? You know I get carsick.”

“You don’t get carsick, you just don’t like the legroom in the back.”

“Can’t help that, Bucky, I’m a tall guy!”

Bucky rolls his eyes. “You know (Y/N) needs the front seat. She can’t sit normally because of her wings.”

Clint scowls. “Then let me drive.”

“Hell no, you’re a nightmare behind the wheel.”

“You’re no fun!” I clear my throat and both men look to me and smile. “Hey! You’re finally up.”

I shake my head. “I was up an hour ago, I just wanted to make sure I had everything.”

“Oh, right.” Clint strides across the driveway and takes my bag from me. “We were just-”

“Squabbling,” I laugh. “I know. It’s what you two do best sometimes.”

“We can do other things too,” he mumbles.

Bucky shakes his head and joins Clint and I. “Ignore him. He’s just grumpy because someone called about a burst pipe in the basement.”

“Oh shit.” Clint scratches the back of his neck and I place my hand on his arm. “Have you called someone yet?”

“Yeah, they already showed up, but it won’t be a cheap fix.”

“It’ll be fine, I’m sure. We can get it sorted out when we get back, right?” He nods and wanders off to pack up the car.

Bucky hooks his arm around my waist and I tilt my head up to kiss his cheek. “You’re looking better this morning,” he says.

“I slept really well last night. Probably has something to do with you two.”

“You give us too much credit, (Y/N).”

“I don’t think you give yourselves enough.”

He smiles and shakes his head. “I’ll go get the car set up.”

“Okay. I’ll be over in a minute.”

I stand back and watch them move around the car. Clint scoops up two more duffel bags, I assume they’re his and Bucky’s, from beside the car and places them in the trunk. Bucky puts the passenger seat down and I can see him roll his eyes when Clint sidles up beside him and says something close to his ear. Clint laughs when Bucky pinches his side and I can’t help smiling.

It suddenly hits me how thankful I am that I have both of them. I don’t know what I would do without them, or even where I’d be right now if they weren’t in my life.

My smile slowly slips away as I realize that I love them. Different from when we first met and more than I did when I left.

My heart flutters and I press my fingers to my lips, just letting the realization wash over me. I’m not scared. Just peaceful. This feels right.

“You okay, (Y/N)?”

I refocus and meet Clint’s eyes. “Hm?”

“You were zoning out,” he says. “Are you feeling alright?”

I smile. “I’m good. Nothing to worry about.”

“You sure?”

I nod and approach the car. “Mhm.”

He wraps his arm around my shoulders and kisses the top of my head. “Okay, good.”

“Help me into the car?”

“Of course.” He grins and gestures to the open passenger door. “Your chariot awaits.”

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Part 12

How’s that for an ending? I’m pretty fond of it, personally. I promise this isn’t the grand ending, but we’re getting close, I think. But for now, we know that the reader loves her boys, and that’s what really matters.

I’d love to know how you reacted! I always love knowing what you guys think, so please comment, reblog, like, and/or shoot me an ask!

If you’d like to be tagged in future chapters, please let me know!

Tag list:

@ghostlyhamlet, @claws-of-vibranium, @creaturefeatures101, @buckysendoftheline, @imagine-assembling-the-avengers, @ptprocrastination, @1950schick, @amayasymone23, @arfrona-and-marvel, @ek823, @fanaticfangirl001, @furrywerewolfcollector, @kissofvenom922, @dawn-phantomhive, @fangirlwithasweettooth, @mairhof1, @starryeyesbadguys, @trap-house-homiecide, @buckywhitewolfbarnes, @kaepm981, @howdoesoneadult, @pcdmesamidala, @thefandomplace, @sian22redux, @skeletoresinthebasement, @lady-thor-foster, @jazzcutie, @gaytonystark, @geeksareunique, @nyxveracity, @breezy1415, @darling-loki, @lemonadeorange73, @tofeartheunknown, @queenoftheunderdark

This fic:

@avengerscompound, @nerdy-bookworm-1998, @shirukitsune, @keenmarvellover, @katebarton15, @feelmyroarrrr

#winterhawkxreader #readerxwinterhawk #winterhawk x reader #reader x winterhawk #bucky barnesxreader #readerxbucky barnes #clint bartonxreader #readerxclint barton #winterhawk #bucky barnes #clint barton #reader insert marvel fic

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thisgameissonintendo · 4 years ago

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I feel like I need to add to the support here. You are an incredibly talented editor, your edits are works of art. I actually found MacGyver thanks to your material on Youtube which has led to me creating content of my own (something I was not brave enough to do before) and so I'm incredibly grateful to you for that. I am also now being sucked into Magnum PI :) in a similar way.

You are civil, polite, generous and super talented (I know I'm repeating myself but it needs to be said at least twice).

Ignore any hatred you receive (sometimes that's tough I know), you are allowed to have a different opinion and not get shat on for it (unfortunately certain sections of the internet are just cess pools and people are mean).

You are absolutely one of the reasons the MacGyver fandom is a nice place to be (fake fan my ass)

YOU. ARE. AMAZING. YOU.ROCK

okay, first of all - sorry it took me so long to reply ♡ and thank you. wow. this truly means a lot. i'm so glad i've got you into this whole editing "business", it's such an incredible way to inspire others and i'm glad you've found your way 🙏 (also - let me know when you post something, i'd love to check it out)

you rock! i've noticed you quite some times (but am terrible at connecting with new people, sorry) and you've always been so kind and loving. i wish there were more people like you.

#ask #macgyver ask #ladyigraineofhistory

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clarionglass · 3 years ago

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tagged by @gentlemancrow, thanks for the tag! :)

1. Why did you choose your url? i think i chose this back in the heady days of uh. year 8 or 9? for my old ff dot net account and/or deviantart, and it’s just stuck ever since! it was back in my skulduggery pleasant fandom days, and the concept of chosen names has always struck me as pretty cool, so i was messing around with picking one, and clarion glass stuck! it’s been my username for literally everything for years now, and clarion/clari has become the name i respond to on the internet :)

2. Any side blogs? yes but also no? i have three, technically, but none are active anymore. one was set up for a creative project for my greek and roman mythology unit in third year (i was blogging as ariadne, it was a fun time :) ), i’m not gonna give the url to that one because it’s entirely defunct @honestoperarecaps was set up as a study tool for my opera unit bc i thought i’d remember things better if i vented about the operas i had to watch in a mildly humorous way. it worked, but i only had the time and energy for one post :’) if you want to read my vent about don giovanni act one then click on over i guess :P and lastly is the good old school of music quotebook! it’s password locked bc it was just for me and my mates to put up the weird quotes that people said around the department (it was back before the SoM had a name change and became “the con,” so that dates it), and my god there were many. damn, i need to have a reread through those :) @bejewelled2deluxe that was a good time :D

3. How long have you been on tumblr? a while and a half! i think i got it in about 2014 or 15, but i lurked on my mates’ blogs from about 2012 without actually getting an account. so i lived through superwholock, but vicariously :’)

4. Do you have a queue tag? ha ha ha ha ha ask another question (i do not. i post 50 things at once or nothing at all.)

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place? like i said before, i was a lurker for a good few years before i caved! i’m a fandom nerd, as well as a sucker for a good meme, and the communities that my friends were in seemed pretty chill. i knew for ages i was gonna get a tumblr, but i just didn’t want to distract myself during Important School Times (i was entirely correct in thinking it’d be a black hole for all my time :’) )

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp? oh man, there’s a q! i’d done a few drawings from the queen’s thief series about the time i signed up (if you haven’t read it go read it, it’s Fantastic), so i nicked a headshot off one of them bc she looks vaguely slightly like me :P this one is the queen of eddis! such a good character, i love her to pieces :)

7. Why did you choose your header? it doesn’t come up in my blog theme on pc so i forget what it is..... is it the lantern tree? it was just a cool pic, i love lanterns in trees yo blog title i definitely know where that came from, as does anybody who knows me in person,,,, it’s a tempo direction off a piece of music by That Goddamn Dude, and it just clicked with me

8. What’s your post with the most notes? my crocheted tiny martin photoset :)

9. How many mutuals do you have? no idea, my love, absolutely none

10. How many followers do you have? uh 184 apparently but i do need to do a weed for porn bots :/ if you’re part of the 184 and you’re not a porn bot and i don’t know you irl then hello! i don’t know where you’ve come from (tbh it’s probably the chatfic now i think about it) but you are very welcome, and i hope you’re not too put off by my extremely sporadic posting!

11. How many people do you follow? uh. 70. i have a very,,,, curated,,,, dash experience. :|

12. Have you ever made a shitpost? not really? i’ve shat out some odd thoughts on tma, if that counts :P

13. How often do you use Tumblr each day? i like to scroll to the end of my dash (hence the answer to q11 lol), and i get bored easily, so i often scroll through on my breaks and in the morning when i wake up :) that said, i only reblog stuff when i’m on my laptop bc i like to tag ramble and that’s just too much effort on my phone

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? hell no, i’m very conflict averse plus who the hell is going to fight with me? i’m the smallest of small fry :P

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts? i ignore them bc i do not need to be guilted into reblogging things tyvm (((:

16. Do you like tag games? for sure! i always take approx 2390358 years to respond to them but they’re cool as hell, plus i like being thought of :)

17. Do you like ask games? ditto the previous :)

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous? i’m mutuals with a few Fandom People, but idk if anyone’s like. big famous? and i’m pretty sure nobody who’s big famous follows me back lol i just like to stick to my small corner of the internet :) if i’m wrong that’s rad as hell tho!

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual? nah but i love y’all as friends!

this is the tag part! which i hate doing! if you see this on your dash consider yourself tagged if you want to do it :) @idris-the-potterhead if you need to take a break from lab work then go for it :)

#clari speaks #tag games #gentlemancrow #clari's tumblr experience lol

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kingdumbass · 4 years ago

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I’m really sorry but the new script leak changes absolutely nothing?? The only new thing we know is Cas pulling Dean close... it probably wasn’t a kiss and we already knew Deans reaction was cut. So why is everyone freaking out? Maybe I’m just being dumb 😔

I didn’t even see this ask because my feed was too cluttered with eveyone freaking out about the script leaks.

But let me put it to you this way, anon. It doesn’t change what we got, but it reaffirms the intent of the episode and magnifies the glaring holes in the script. The weird editing especially.

Also if you’re a destiel shipper as I’d hope you are if you’re in my ask box, I can’t begin to understand how you can read an official written line from Castiel’s point of view saying “but still beautiful, still dean winchester” and not have a complete and absolute mental breakdown. Like I literally shat myself and have not stopped thinking about it.

I wouldn’t call you dumb, anon. Just uhhh i dunno.. a party pooper.

#asks #destiel #still beautiful #still dean winchester

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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years ago

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Oooh yeah the first time I was playing as a female mc because I wanted to romance ava and I usually go male mc if I want to romance a man and female mc if I want to romance a woman (and I think there was one book with where mc could be non-binary so I picked that one but I didn't finished the book), and Stacy's brother felt Hetero™ in a way, like Hollywood ish (? Honestly like cinematographicly bad hetero) but I ended up really loving Andy too, and Stacy felt a little flat but also I really liked her potential, like go crazy girl, and the mom issues.

Apart but holy shit you're 10000% right about that teacher like who inmediately threatens expulsion just like that for something not violent ??? And to an honor student with way too much on his plate ??? Obviously it would have been bad with any student, but you have literally the reason of why he's doing it and as a teacher HE LITERALLY COULD HAVE HELPED WITH IT ??????? Like something teachers can't really help students because it's a family thing only or is a financial struggle or etc but it was literally because of school (and his family, but the teacher could have heloed him with the school part)

(Identity thief anon (also I go by any pronouns ahhshs))

ur valid! that's lowkey what i wish i'd do (picking female MC if my fave LI is female and the other way around, i mean) but unfortunately i always go into the stories blindly having no idea what i'll find </3 so i cant really do that doiajdiosa and then i get attached for the MC i picked so i feel bad about changing their gender/name/appearance when i replay. so what i usually do is that i pick a male MC when i get the option because A- u don't always get the option, so i end up being male half the time and female half the time either way; and B- i feel slightly more comfortable with a male identity than a female one. like i'm still nonbinary and i wouldn't consider myself male aligned or within the gender of Man, but like... when i first came out i went by any pronouns but then because im afab everyone was like "cool, she/her only it is" so i was like fuck that and stopped using she/her. so i feel slightly more comfortable with a masc MC and end up going with that

there's also the fact that it always feels slightly genderfucky to have a male MC because choices is so sexist and also always writes the stories assuming ull pick a female MC, even when they give u the option not to. so when u pick a male MC he's very like not toxically masc and some things they add to make a QuiRkY MC that are very white woman and would feel annoying are actually kind of subversive for my black and brown male MCs. so like another win for queerness /j

ILITW MC in particular i feel has HUGE nonbinary vibes like no reason at all he just does <3 maybe it's just that for once the male clothes for ILITW actually fUCK. i wanna dress in that goth outfit <3 so gorgeous ugh. i love him even tho he's a fucking dumbass

also there's a book where an MC can be enby? worm? ive only ever read one book in choices with any enby characters at all (america's most elligible, books 2-3) but they weren't even a LI which is disappointing cuz they were a billion times superior to any of the LIs. sorry america's most elligible LIs fans

also oh connor IS the epitome of white cistraight man even when u play as a man tbh, like he was just so cistraight to me daouhdsaojdasij he kind of annoys me but also i forget that he even exists until he shows up onscreen and choices starts trying to push me into his lap and i'm just like, ugh, not again

and yeah i think i feel a similar way about stacy. i don't dislike her as a character and i don't feel like she as a character felt flat, her growth was very interesting and i loved seeing her start to challenge her mom like YESSS GO GIRL GIVE US EVERYTHING, she just felt flat as a LI to me ig? like idk i didn't feel chemistry between her and my MC personally, but also like, stacy girls are valid u know

right exactly. like i don't think ppl really understand that a school that doesn't drive people to cry during finals week and feel absolutely crushed by having to be there and that makes ppl feel like they're stupid, not enough, and overwhelmed IS IN FACT POSSIBLE and actually pretty easy to make when we stop treating students like statistics that will get the school more clients/funding (depending on whether it's a private or public school). and like as a teacher getting my degree in brasil it just feels completely surreal to me that anyone would see a student who's so overwhelmed by the amount of extracurriculars and responsibilities he feels like he has to take that he starts taking drugs to help his performance despite it affecting his health, and see that as like... something morally reprehensible? like it is bad that it happened but it's not the student's fault, what's morally reprehensible are the circumstances that led to his decision, not his decision

and like it is very much a systemic problem, more and more kids are taking focus pills to be able to survive the pressure of school and have a shot at a future, either on their own or because we are actually medicalizing not existing to be productive. and if it's a systemic problem then the fault is at the system?? and like holy shit i legit don't understand why choices gave us options like being like "it still isn't enough" when lucas gets rid of his pills, what do you mean it isn't enough??? enough for what??? to FORGIVE him???? for something that only hurt himself??? for something that is very much a systemic problem and therefore NOT HIS FAULT????? literally what the fuck even is this, lucas doesn't have to "make up" for a single thing, he needs to be HELPED is what he needs

like idk i know that the school system in the US is...... extremely backwards lmao which is not a term i like to use because it usually implies imperialistic views but the US is the height of world imperialism so like actually idc. brasil has a pretty progressive constitution and as a teacher my whole education was focused on being critical of the school system, particularly the productivity obsession, and drilling into us again and again that we aren't supposed to just be teaching subjects, we are also supposed to be teaching how to be a citizen, be a critical human being, work towards building a better future, and learning and growing AS A PERSON to be healthy and happy are values of the school system

like that's easier said than done when schools are under insane amounts of pressure by companies in practice to be productivity-driven, and most teachers who actually want to do a good job end up having to live at the edge of the knife and constantly fighting back outside pressure, but at least it is very much a mandatory part of our education to become teachers and also like literally part of the constitution. so i just... i can't fathom reacting the way mr cooper did? like as a teacher i felt BETRAYED, i felt like he shat all over my profession because that is the opposite of what we should be doing, this is a kid who needs help

and just like hOLY SHIT HE DID NOTHING WRONG, what are you punishing him for??? it's not even a like, stealing bread to feed your family situation, because what he did HAS NO VICTIM OTHER THAN HIMSELF, and therefore HE IS THE VICTIM NOT THE CULPRIT. he doesn't have to repent or atone or answer for a single fucking thing, he didn't victimize others, he doesn't have to apologize, there's nothing to punish him fOR??? like i don't believe in punishment anyway cuz im a prison abolitionist but doDAUSDJADASIJDAS???????????? HE DIDN'T. HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. WHY IS THIS WHOLE GAME ACTING AS IF HE WAS IN THE WRONG. OH MY GOD

it's like saying that someone needs to be forgiven for self harming????? like how is it that someone has been hurt continuously until it led them to hurt themselves and then they have to? make up for it to a bunch of other ppl? my god it makes me so mad and i genuinely don't understand the logic, like usually when i see someone doing fucked up shit i can see the logic but i don't agree with it, but this time i genuinely DON'T SEE THE LOGIC. my USan friends said it was because he was technically doing drugs but like i legit still don't understand

anyway any school that drives a student to do something like that needs to rethink their entire curriculum and the psychological effect it's having on kids, because lucas is 1- not even the first one according to mr cooper; 2- even if he was, that'd be the only one who got CAUGHT; and 3- even if there was really only one singular student who went tHIS far, i doubt the others weren't feeling that same pressure and dealing with it in other similarly unhealthy ways

i know that's probably easier in brasil than in the US even if it's by no means easy here because here at least in public schools the curriculum and political-pedagogical plan has to be agreed on by the school community (teachers, parents, students, workers, and anyone who lives in the area of the school) and it's updated every year, so like, you have more means to do something to change the school in a deeper way, altho of course that still has to mean swinging the rest of the community, but still. but at the very least he could have looked for counseling for him? tried to find a way to take some of the workload off his shoulders? given him some more time on assignments? motioning for all the clubs he was the president of to have co-presidents so he was less overwhelmed?

like there was just daodsao he could have done so many things and he justs DIDN'T he chose to not only punish him instead but quite literally THREATEN HIM WITH DEATH because that's what calling the police on a latino student over a drug charge is. like he might've survived but the possibility that he would fucking DIE was very much there, and i know choices didn't think of that because they'd rather die than think about the racial implications of anything but holy fucking shit. and im not even getting into how mr cooper is BLACK because then ill just start biting people like thanks for putting that threat on a black character's mouth choices. if u need me ill be foaming at the mouth

anyway SORRY god why is it that i always get to the salty part within 2 seconds of joining a fandom i promise that i actually like it lives and the way they handled most of their plot, i genuinely think it's a very well written and actually worth ur time story but i just doadosaida like i said particularly as a teacher in the context where i'm being taught, plus with all my political beliefs, i just can't let it go aaaa

also ty for telling me ur pronouns! idk if i assumed them at any time, i don't think so but i might have done so without realizing and if i did im really sorry. also sorry for the gigantic salty reply daojdsaojdaisjsajdoadsaodasj rip me i never shut up

#it lives spoilers #ilitw spoilers #it lives #salt #long post #drugs tw #cops tw #police brutality tw #racism tw #victim blaming tw #anti connor green #ilitw #lucas thomas #ask #identity thief anon #self harm tw

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cheryls-blossomed · 4 years ago

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I refuse to watch the KF parts because I love myself but I will absolutely read recaps bcs I live for the chaos. Ppl need to stop letting it bother them and accept it for what it is, a really stupid plot that should have been done three years ago and still might have been fine if they hadn't inexplicably gone the police brutality angle. And I really do have sympathy bcs WA fans gets shat on all the time but it's also been 7 years of a not very good show and ppl need to stop freaking out all time

I live for the chaos as well, honestly, so I’m gonna be here, talking about the episode right after it airs. Tbh, I have a virtual meeting during the episode, but I might be sneaking on to tumblr to see how the episode is going, lmao. And we knew that we’re going to get Caitlin/Frost-centric episodes this season, as we do every season, and so personally, I expected it, and I knew ahead of time that I’d skip them and move on, but obviously the issue with this story-line, as you said, is that they decided to attempt to comment on police brutality and the brutal policing of Black people through “anti-meta human sentiment” and centering and victimizing a white woman. That’s what makes the story-line so fundamentally offensive.

Otherwise, though, we all know we’re getting a Caitlin/Frost-centric episode or two each season, so it’s best to just skip them and move on.

#anonymous #replies

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the-dead-skwad · 5 years ago

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Secret X Damien Haas X Reader

Thank you for being so patient with me :) I know it takes me ages to post so I’m sorry. Another Damien fluff shit. The only warnings are swearing like always. I have mentioned names of family members, I know you won’t relate to that part but just like change it in your head.

"Heeeyyyyy! What's up guys!" Your usual loud voice boomed across the set as you spoke to the camera. "Me and the beautiful Damien are here today playing an old spoopy classic in the spirit of halloweeeeeeeeeen!" You picked up the case for resident evil 2 and waved it around. It was the remastered version but still it was going to be as fun.

Damien took the case from your hand "ZOMBIES!" He yelled as loud as he could "Throw back!" and he literally threw the case behind him hitting the back of the set. "So glad you guys could join me and Y/N watching us kill some zombies and possibly poop our pants."

"I hope I don't, I really like these pants." You stuck your leg in the air .

Damien laughed "So if you were wearing pants you didn't like pooping your pants would be perfectly fine?"

You looked around for a second "Ermmm yeah. Anyway don't forget to subscribe and punch that bell to get notifications! Punch it, slap it, hold its hand, do what you want to the bell. I'm such a hoe for zombies so I'm just superrr excited today!"

Damien looked at you and laughed "You a hoe?"

"Big hoe!" You both laughed together.

As the game started one of the crew members switched the lights off "Oh!" Damien shouted "No one told me it would be in the dark."

You turned slowly to look at him and spoke in a low whisper "How else do you do anything spoopy?"

"You really freak me out when it comes to horrors, like you get so into it." "Hoe for horrors." You whispered really creepily. -- The shoot was going so well, your stomach actually hurt from laughing so much. "Quick!" You shouted again "There’s a zombie! There!"

"I know Y/N I can see it." he turned to look at you for a split second "Ahhh!" A zombie shot out in front of the screen making you both scream.

"Oh you bitch!" you basically leapt out of your seat grabbing hold of Damien's arm and hiding behind him. "Nope!"

He turned to look at you, "You okay back there?" He wrapped one arm around you.

"Yeahhh" Your face popped back into shot from under his arm. Looking up at him you smiled, for just a minute your eyes lingered on his face, you noticed so much more than usual. His eyes, his smile, just everything about his was perfect. You soon snapped out of it when you realised you were both just staring at each other in front of all the crew.

"I thinks that’s enough for now!" Ian's voice came across the set "We'll break for lunch and finish this later."

"So," You turned to look at him as you picked your bag up "What do you fancy for lunch?"

"Well I said to Shayne I'd meet him for lunch, go to the cafe down the road. Wonna come?"

"As long as I'm not interrupting your man date." Walking towards the office to find Shayne.

Just out of ear shot "You would never interrupt anything in my life." he answered you.

Lunch was nice, the three of you sat outside in the sun with a coffee and a sandwich.

"How was the shoot this morning?" Shayne looked at you both.

Both of you looked at each other before you answered "Yeah it was good. Nearly shat myself at one point but all we have to do is shoot the wrap up."

"Awesome. Bet its super funny."

Taking a sip of your coffee you couldn't help but feel something happened between the two of you. Even after all this time of you working and being friends you hadn't really noticed anything. You knew you liked him but work and friendship was so important to you, you didn't want to ruin anything.

You realised that while you were in your own thoughts Shayne and Damien were just talking so much shit. "Hey." Damien nudged you "You awake?"

"Yeah." You smiled at him "I was just thinking..." He was looking at you in the same way again.

Shayne hadn't noticed anything "I was thinking you guys could come on try not to laugh together or we could do who knows best, maybe Damien best friend" He pointed at himself "and on screen girlfriend" he pointed at you "Orrrrr I dunno.. hold on I have so many ideas."

While Shayne was scrolling through his phone reeling off so many different things the tree of you could do together, you felt Damien's hand slowly touch your knee. He was wayy too much of a gentleman to touch you thigh. As he squeezed your knee you felt your heart jump into your throat. You reached down and placed your hand on his, you moved it up slightly so he wasn't reaching so far under the table. Squeezing his hand lightly so he knew that you were okay with all of this.

"Damien, what do you think about this?" Shayne shoved his phone in his face snapping out of his daze.

"Ahhh, erm shnizburtness."

You choked on your coffee "Whats up?" looking at him laughing so hard. "Are you okay man?" Shayne was laughing too "Did your brain break?" "Honestly I have no idea what just happened." His side-wards smile made you heart melt.

Shayne go up to use the bathroom still laughing to himself. Damien turned to look at you taking both your hands in his. "So what are we doing?"

"I'm not sure but what ever it is I'm absolutely loving it."

Already sat pretty close you leaned in a little further. You could feel your heart beating through out your entire body as you pressed your lips against his. It was so perfect like nothing you had ever experienced in your life. It was like your brain turned into fireworks.

He moved back and smiled at you, he stroked his thumb across your cheek "So perfect."

"Oh my god! I've just had an idea.." Shayne was on his way back "Just pretend for now that nothing has happened." He sat back down "I think we should do Who knows best.. I question you two. You can fight it out for the spot of main man in my life."

"Awesome!"

-- As soon as you got back to the office Shayne walked ahead to talk to Ian about the plan. Just before the set the was a door that lead to the costume room. You both knew that no one would be in there as you two were the only ones in this video. He looked at you and smiled. Checking around you to make sure no one could see you, you both went into the room. You only looked at each other for a second before you literally leapt on each other. Your lips smashed together, your entire body was filled with butterfly's. You jumped up and wrapped you legs around his waist. He took a few steps forward pushing you against the wall. Half a rail of costumes collapsed on the floor. His lips parted from yours and moved down to your neck. You threw your head back letting out a small moan.

"Hey!" A voice from behind the door made you panic. You jumped off him and straightened yourself out. The door swung open and Courtney stood there looking at you both. "What are you guys doing?"

"Nothing," You said nervously "I just knocked this stand over."

"Why do you look so flustered?"

"I hurt my toe..."

"Riiighhttt. They're waiting for you guys ."

The rest of the shoot went perfect. Ian and Garett were happy to do a 'Who knows best' with the three of you as well. It was going to be hard but you only had to hide your relationship for 3 days.

It as finally the day of the shoot, it had been very difficult keeping you both a secret. There was a couple of times you had snuck off and almost been caught. But from what you guys knew know had clocked on yet. Your plan would work perfectly as long as Shayne didn't know.

As you stood at your kitchen counter making your coffee to take to work you felt an arm wrap around your waist. You squeezed his arm making him hold you tighter. He left gentle kissed on the exposed skin on your shoulder. "Hmmm. Why did we only just decide to do this?"

"Well, you've asked this 20 times since we first kissed," You turned in his arms so you were face to face "and how was I supposed to know you liked me as much as I liked you." You gave him a meaningful kiss.

"I guess you could say zombies bought us together."

"What can I say.. I'm a hoe for horrors."

He laughed at you hugging you tighter "Come on you we gotta get to work."

Pulling up in work parking lot Courtney pulled up right by you and Shayne was leaning against his car waiting for the lot of you. He looked at you both as you got out your car "Are you ready to be shameeeedddd as I prove that I am the ultimate best friend?"

"Of course Shayne.. How ever will I beat you?" Damien shook his head, he watched you as you walked to the offices with Courtney.

As soon as the guys were out of earshot she looked at you "Soooo, how was last night? Did he stay over? Did anything happen? Do I need to start looking for bridesmaid dresses?"

"Jesus Court" You laughed at her "No, nothing happened. Me and Damien are just super good friends. All this chemistry is for the fans," As you lied through your teeth all you could see in your head were flashes of the night before. The touching, feeling, searching. My god you had never had sex like it.

On set you were quite excited. It was set up so you sat opposite Damien and Shayne . As soon as you all sat down you could feel Damien’s foot stroking your leg. You raised your eyebrows at him and smiled.

"Action!" Garett shouted.

"Hey guys!" You spoke to the camera "We're here today to see who knows me best! I've been friends with Damien and Shayne for a few years now and we all know tumblr has shipped me with both. So really I guess its a test for the ultimate ship. We also have the jury sat by our side." You pointed to Courtney, Noah and Kieth sat at the side "They can give a guess if both bots get it wrong."

"So!" Shayne spoke as loud as always "Last time Courtney beat Damien and won the spot of my best friend, I shall prove today that I am the best."

"In your dreams bitch!" Damien laughed at him "Before we start can we just ask you to subscribe and punch that notification bell so you know what we're doing."

"First question!" You looked at the cards infront of you "How many siblings do I have? Extra points for gender and names."

"Oh fuck!" Shayne said loudly "You have a huge family!"

Damien smiled at you and gave you a small wink, luckily no one saw him. The camera probably did though. You picked up the water gun off the table and started to pump it "I fully well know they won't get this right."

They both sighed as they finished writing. Shayne went first "I guessed 2 sisters, 3 brothers. Lydia, Kate, John, Johnathon and Johnny."

Everyone laughed at him, "John, Johnathon and Johnny?" Courtney nearly screamed at him.

"I couldn't think of other male names!"

"Shyane! There's literally multiple males in this room!" Noah couldn't believe him.

Still laughing you smiled at Damien "Anddddd how wrong are you?" Even though you were together you would genuinely be impressed if he got it right.

He spun the board around "You have 4 sisters, no brothers. Lydia, Mia, Ava and your step sister who you don't actually see Jess."

You smiled and shook your head. You pumped the gun a little more ans shot Shayne directly in the chest making him scream. "Honestly I'm impressed Damien. How in the hell did you know that?"

"Well you know" He just shurgged "I listen."

Courtney squeaked "That is super cute."

If only she knew you thought to yourself. You internally smiled "Anyway next question. This one is easier. What is my favourite thing to order for lunch? I know I pretty much eat two things but I deffo get one thing more."

It literally took them two seconds to answer which really made you think you should change up your diet. "Damien you first."

"This is also very easy.." He spun his board around "So you either get pad thai, which is most of our favourite but more than usual you get subway chicken and bacon BBQ wrap."

Shayne made a very loud noise "I said chicken and bacon too!"

"Yep, you're both right.. I seriously need to try more food apparently."

After a list of questions you pulled out the last one smiling to yourself. You looked up at Shayne and laughed to yourself, he was literally dripping wet and Damien had got one wrong. You turned to look at the camera. "If this question wasn't so good I'd just end it here. I mean jesus Shayne! You call yourself my friend."

Damien also laughed "Honestly from this it looks like you guys have never actually met."

"Okay!" Shayne shouted. "I clearly do not listen to you guys enough. I promise from this day forward I will be a better friend."

You rolled your eyes at him "Anyway, final question." They started a drum roll on the table "True or false I have a secret boyfriend."

"What!" Courtney shouted "I mean there’s no way! We would know that." You smiled at everyone "Shayne you first."

He looked around doing that fmaous confused face "I put false... because there’s no way you wouldn't tell us."

You smiled at Damien as he spoke "So I said true..." He spun his board around "Because Its me."

The room was silent for a second. Shayne turned slowly looking at both of you "WHAT!" He shputed the loudest you had ever heard him.

"Wait." Kieth stood up "You two are together... like actually together."

You smiled at him for the millionth time "Yeah we are."

"OOOOHHHH MY GOD!" Courtney had now joined in on the screaming.

You stood up and walked up to him to give him a hug. He also stood up and wrapped his arms around you "Sorry dude, I wanted to tell you but we thought this way would be so much funnier."

Shayne joined in on the hug "I mean finally!" Then they all joined in for a big group hug.

You pulled away and winked at the camera. "I just have one last thing I need to do though." You walked back round to your side of the table and pulled out the biggest water gun "I'm sorry dude." You pointed it straight at Shayne "But you did get the last one wrong!"

#smosh fanfic #smosh fic #smosh imagine #damien haas imagine #damien haas fluff #damien haas x reader #shayne topp imagine

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delirious-comfort · 4 years ago

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I promise you I wouldn't go 0 to 100 with you with those kinds of questions. Weirder than that? I'm starting to grow concerned for you if you draw in such.. colorful personalities like that.

You sound like a terrible influence, and I fully support that (because, same).

Oh gosh. I'm sorry you were bullied. Kids/teenagers can be brutal. I always thank my lucky stars that I went to schools with nicer kids. I was later told no one would ever mess with me because I looked like I knew how to fight - which I attribute to my rbf. I obviously don't know you all that well personally, but you seem perfectly delightful to me so it's hard to picture you being a handful.

Howard the Duck! I think I hated it as a kid. My dad really wasn't careful with the movies he rented for me. My sister didn't tell me it was awful, so I never added The Meg to my list.

Hmm, can't relate. I'm not that into muscles, so The Rock isn't my cup of tea, and I do fancy the gents as well (though not as much as the ladies, despite what my dating history would suggest). Watch a movie that prominently features a pretty lady (that kicks ass), and the identity crisis may be averted for a while. Sorry to hear that. Is there a way to put some happiness back in you?

Music. Oh jeez. I could rattle off what I like all day, but I'll refrain. Some of my favorites: St. Vincent, Sevdaliza, Allie X, Lisa Hannigan, Beirut, James Blake, Chet Faker, Leon Bridges. And so on.. What about you?

A little. I'm very over 2020. I shan't miss it, but I'm not an optimist by nature, so I'm not all that thrilled about 2021. Are you?

I would need more details. 1. Would I have books/music? 2. Do I get to leave the cottage? 3. Do I have to bring someone with me? And if so, how small is this cottage? If the answer is yes and tiny, I'm leaning towards no. 150k isn't enough to put myself through that. I need a lot of alone time - though exceptions do apply from time to time. I don't currently like anyone enough to share a space with them for a whole year. Same question goes to you, though. Would you do that for $150,000?

Ooh, we’ve entered scrolling era on the computer! I now need to scroll to see what you wrote! Exciting things. *claps*. Back when I wrote Shadow Haven I used to get a lot of anons because they thought I was super into answering questions like, “How often do you masturbate / Do you masturbate to fic / What is your favorite thing to masturbate to / You made me come twice with this chapter!” Okay, that last one isn’t a question, but definitely have been told that a few times. Although my all time favorite comment I’ve ever gotten was from this young girl who said she almost reached an orgasm for the first time but the fic wasn’t long enough xD Hm, bullying is a thread throughout my life. But yeah some kids can be absolutely brutal. Adults too. But that’s a sob story for another time lol. RBF is one of my favorite things. I’m glad you didn’t experience that in school, though. I don’t know if I’m all that delightful. I think I’m nice? That’s something lol. I’ve never seen Howard the Duck to be honest. The only Duck I know is Donald. Oh want to hear a funny story about a duck? One day when I was young, back in the olden days, in the 90′s... My brother came home with a duck once. He said it was injured and he put it in the shed. I do think it really was injured but I have no idea what was wrong with it. We had this iron tub in the shed that we put water in and within a couple of days he had shat all over the shed. But we kept him for quite some time I think, although I was young so it was probably like two weeks that felt like two years. Anyway, the duck got better. We named him Donald and then we put him back out in the pond near our house where he came from. You’d think that’s where the story ends. But tis not. So one day not too long after we released him back into the pond... They started to drain the pond because, well actually I don’t know why. My brother said it was because there was one of those electric eels that they needed to get out of the pond, which made us all scared to swim in and I’m just now realizing he probably lied about that. Dick. Anyway, big digging machine came, and I went to walk the dog and on top of the claw of the digging machine was a dead duck. Our dead duck. Which I could see from far away. Uhm. Okay so maybe it wasn’t our duck. But as a child I was fucking convinced it was. I sobbed and told my mom he had been killed. And she was just like, “Well, he had a good time with us, didn’t he!’ I was and perhaps am at times a bit... how shall I put this gently... over dramatic. Sensitive. A drama queen. I freely admit it. I don’t actually know a lot of those artists but I’m listening to Sevdaliza’s Human and uhm. I bet it’s a on a lot of x-rated playlists. Yeah I’m with you on the 2020/2021 feeling. I don’t even want to say it can only get better from here on out because was I ever wrong before! This song is a bop. I like it. Goes straight on my current obsessions playlist. Okay, cottage details. I asked because it’s always one of those Facebook posts I see, but here’s some details. Fuck. Details. Okay. I got this. Yes, you can bring books. And movies. And there’s a TV and a radio and a computer. Just no internet. I don’t know why. But there’s not. FB rules. Not mine. I’d need internet. I’m suddenly getting a one-shot through into my thick skull. As if I am gonna write it. Ha. You can leave the cottage whenever you want. You’re free to roam. Not a prisoner. Hm, it’s not so small that you can’t live comfortable in it, lets say at least two bedrooms, although my inner muse wants to scream, “And there was only one bed,” so hard. So original. I suppose you don’t have to bring someone. I think I could do it but I don’t know how beneficial it would be to my mental health. I already live alone, I have a tiny studio, and I hardly ever leave due to my health issues I’ve had this year. Although, on Fridays I get to go outside with my physical therapist and I am very much looking forward to that. Internet is very much my whole world right now. So I think if it would be taken away I would either thrive, or nose dive. If I had to share the space with someone, I don’t know if I could do it. Depends on who it is, I suppose. Like, I love my mom to death, but her and I would kill each other within a week probably. God this is a lot of blabbing. Oop. Also I just saw the terrible influence thing. Yes, yes I am. I used to make my niece do tiktok’s to prank my brother but one day he got super mad. But too be fair I did have her pretend she stapled her fingers together with a staple gun. So you know. I had it coming. You’d think all this typing would warm up my fingers, but my fingers are ice cold. Okay, here’s a question. What is your dream holiday destination?

#Anonymous

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dat-carovieh · 5 years ago

Text

A Grain of Truth

Summary: Jaskier had been cursed to look like a bear. Geralt will not rest until he helped his bard to lift that curse.

Tags: Cursed Jaskier | Dandelion, Furry JaskierMonster Jaskier | Dandelion, Caring Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Angst, Eventual Fluff, Romance, Fluff and Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Bear Jaskier, Fluff, Emotionally Constipated Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia

Characters: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Jaskier | Dandelion, Triss Merigold

Geralt entered the town through the main gate on Roach’s back. He’s been here a couple of times and he made his way straight to the inn that he was always staying in. He had once saved the town from a nasty Kikimora infestation which was why he was mostly tolerated here. The winter was barely over and he had just left Kaer Morhen. The plan was to meet up with Jaskier here. He had spent the winter mostly in Oxenfurt, teaching at the university. Geralt hoped the bard would already be here, so they could leave again soon.

Even though he was tolerated here, he didn’t feel like staying too long. He tied Roach in front of the tavern and entered. The barkeep looked up, as he got in and nodded slightly as a greeting. Geralt had always brought a good amount of money in, so at least the owners of the tavern somehow liked him.

“Hello Borlin,” Geralt greeted him.

“Geralt,” the man said. “A room for you?”

“First an ale. Has Jaskier already arrived?”

Borlin shook his head as he poured the ale. “Haven’t seen him. You wanted to meet up here?”

Geralt nodded. “Then I will take a room.”

Borlin put the mug down. “Sure, I have one prepared for you.”

“I will probably look around, see if I can get a contract for the next days. If Jaskier arrives, will you tell him that I’m already here?” Geralt asked and dropped some extra coin on the counter.

“’course Geralt.”

The Witcher took his ale and sat down at a table. It wasn’t new, that they wouldn’t arrive at the same time. Travels like this are hard to schedule so there could always be a couple of days difference. Hopefully it wouldn’t take the bard to long and his travel was safe.

The next day, Geralt had found a message on the noticeboard. Someone explicitly asked for a Witcher. It had no real information. He had sought out the person who was looking for the Witcher. He only told Geralt, there was apparently a monster living in a hut in the woods behind the village. Allegedly, it had attacked a couple of villagers, but luckily no one had been killed yet. The man also had not said anything about injuries so Geralt was not sure if that was a job for his sword. Still Geralt had decided to check out the hut and make sure the town was safe.

He thought it best to leave Roach behind, since the way from Kaer Morhen had been pretty far and she absolutely needed a rest. And it was not far to the hut, so he might as well walk.

“I’ll be back soon. Be good and if Jaskier comes by, say hi from me,” he instructed the horse with a pat on her nose, before he left.

Like he had been told, it wasn’t a long walk. He had brought both of his swords, since he had no idea, what he should expect. He was sneaking up to the hut, steel sword drawn. He could always switch to silver, but often steel was sufficient. The hut looked really run down. It seemed like it had been abandoned ages ago. That was probably why the monster decided to seek shelter here. He tried to have a look inside through a crack in the wood but he couldn’t see much. Only a bed that looked like someone had actually been using it very recently. A look at the door told him he could absolutely not enter unnoticed because that old door wood squeak. He decided to throw it open and barge in. The Witcher lifted his sword and quickly walked through the door finding himself in a small but surprisingly tidy room. It seemed like the ‘monster’ might even be civilized. Geralt still didn’t lower his weapon. After a quick look around he noticed the resident of the hut. At first Geralt thought he was seeing a bear but the bear was wearing clothes and it looked at him, scared.

“Geralt,” the bear said, and its deep voice sounded relived. Geralt squinted at the creature and inched a little closer. It was not exactly a bear, he realized. Only as tall as the average man, the head smaller than a beasts, a little bigger than a humans head, the snout a lot smaller, nearer to a human’s mouth than an actual bear snout.

“How do you know my name?” he asked skeptical.

“I feared you wouldn’t recognize me,” it said and looked sad.

“Should I?”, Geralt asked. That creature definitely was intelligent and didn’t seem like a threat.

“It’s me, Jaskier,” was the answer. Geralt’s eyes widened in surprise.

“No, that can’t be.”

He stepped closer and looked over the creature. The whole body was covered in fur, the face looked nothing like a human face but then he saw the eyes and he knew it was true. Those eyes as blue as the sky, as beautiful as ever, but so sad. He had found Jaskier, who for some reason, looked like a monster.

“Jaskier.” Geralt dropped his sword, walked up to the bard and hugged him. “What happened to you?” he asked. He even smelled like Jaskier. Not exactly, there was the typical smell that furred animal all shared. And a little fear. It had been more when he came in, but since Jaskier had recognized him the smell of fear had lessened. There was also Jaskier’s typical smell mixed into it.

“Short version, I was cursed.”

“What did you do?”, Geralt asked as he let him go again and looked at him.

“Why would you think I did something? It was someone else who cursed me,” Jaskier looked and sounded properly offended.

“Okay, so what happened?” Geralt rephrased his question.

“Well maybe I bedded the lover of a powerful wizard and he was not happy about it. It’s really not my fault that he couldn’t please her.” Geralt rolled his eyes.

“Of course something like that would happen to you one day.”

“Good to know that you have so much trust in me.” Jaskier looked offended.

“You are covered in fur and have fangs, so it did happen to you.”

Jaskier turned around and got himself a chair from the desk behind him to sit down. Geralt finally got the chance to look around the little hut. He realized it did look a lot like he would expect a place that Jaskier lived in to look like. There was his lute standing in a corner, leaned against the wall. The very same lute, Jaskier had gotten from Filavandrel shortly after they’ve met for the first time. The desk was covered in paper, probably new songs. There was a cooking place and a little table. Everything was tidy and very clean. And the bear was wearing clothes that looked a lot like Jaskier’s. Geralt wasn’t sure but he thought, he had even seen these very trousers before.

“Please sit down, “ Jaskier said and gestured to the second chair in the room. “I guess, the townspeople have sent you to kill me.”

Geralt nodded, as he pulled the chair up in front of the bard and sat down.

“But you’re not going to?” Jaskier asked, sounding slightly concerned. Geralt’s eyes widened.

“Of course not. I thought you knew me. I don’t kill conscious beings if it’s not absolutely necessary and you are also my friend. You don’t seem to have changed, except for your appearance.”

Jaskier looked down, grinning, and put a hand on his chest. “I mean, I’ve always been hairy, so not too much change.” Geralt laughed a little at that.

“So, tell me the whole story. I know, you can’t wait to do so,” Geralt requested.

“Well, I’d been in Oxenfurt, as you know, and a couple of weeks ago, I met her. Eleanar, she was so beautiful, long brown locks, green eyes, beautiful skin, and this smile.” Jaskier seemed to lose himself a little in his description of that woman. Geralt felt a little annoyed by it and also a little sting in his chest that he couldn’t explain.

“Anyway, she was so nice, she loved my music, you know, unlike certain other people.” He raised an eyebrow at Geralt. “And she thought I was funny. We talked and she invited me over to her place. Of course, I didn’t say no. We went straight to the bedroom, I didn’t really see much from the house and couldn’t tell that she wasn’t living alone. Then, when I was just really enjoying myself, this guy barges in screaming.

I thought to myself ‘Shit, better get out of here quick’ jumped of the bed and tried to gather my clothes. I could hear him mutter something and then saying something about a curse, but I didn’t listen to him and just ran out as quick as I could. When I woke up the next day and I looked in the mirror, I nearly shat my pants when I looked like that.” He gestured to his face.

“It took me a while to understand, what had happened and that the creature in the mirror really was me. I packed up my stuff, because of course I couldn’t stay in Oxenfurt like that, too many people. I left a note for the university that I had to leave due to personal reasons. I hope they don’t hold a grudge because I left them in the middle of the semester. I wrapped myself in my cloak, to hide myself and was able to leave the city without anyone seeing my face.

It was of course still the middle of the winter. My pelt protected me from the cold but it was really hard to find food. I decided the best would be to come here. I bet the townsfolk claimed I’ve attacked them but I didn’t. I moved in here and tried to keep quiet. I stole some food and hunted in the woods. But I knew I would have to make sure that you would find me. I couldn’t really go into town to find you. So, about a week ago I started to scare some of the people in hopes that when you would come into town, they would send you. And it worked.”

“You are lucky, it worked. Had there come another Witcher before me, he might have killed you on sight,” Geralt said.

“But they didn’t. And I had to find you somehow. Couldn’t have you wait for me thinking I had abandoned you.”

The rest will be uploaded on AO3, hopefully somewhat regularly.

#Geraskier #Geralt x Jaskier #The Witcher #Witcher #geralt of rivia #Jaskier #Julian Alfred Pankratz

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