#I´m so giddy about this bit I don´t even know

[thegamingcatmom]

Kate, right in this moment:

She secretly loves it but shhh.

#katethedone

[firsttimewriter92]

Everything Black Part 7

This is a Post Azkaban Sirius Black x fem! reader (Muggle) fic I came up with. This is the first time I´m writing something like this and posting it, so let me know if you have any suggestions as to how I can improve my writing. I am not a native speaker so please keep that in mind :) Please, please don´t copy my work. If you want to repost, please do. I would love it if you tagged me, though :)

Warnings: dringking, smoking, teeth rotting fluff, suggestive moments, slight Angst for Remus, Sirius being a little manace. No smut in this one I´m afraid. I got carried away and the chapter would´ve definately been too long if I added the smutty part. So look out for part 8 ;)

Word count: 8.096

Summary: It´s Christmas and Sirius will be damned if he doesn´t do his best to make it the most beautiful you´ve ever had

___________________________________________________________

Sleep came quickly to you the moment you sank into the soft cushions. You were barely able to lean your head against Sirius´ shoulder or feel his arms pull you closer before you were already asleep, smiling mildly. Sirius chuckled and pulled the sheets closer up to your neck. Kissing your forehead he too rested his head on the cushions feeling lighter than he had ever before. In love. He was in love and there was no going back for him.

His heart felt like it was about to burst out of his chest while he looked at your relaxed face. How was he ever going to be able to repay you for what you made him feel? Your affections gave him worth again. He knew immediately you would protest against this thought but to him, it was the truth. And he felt alive because of it. Because you were compassionate, understanding and so incredibly you, he never wanted anything more than to hear you say you would be his until the end of time. You already told him that you were his but it didn´t feel like enough. What he needed to hear was your I love you. Did you wish for his? The whole evening those words were stuck on his tongue but wouldn´t come out. Mostly because he was terrified it would change everything. He was sure you felt the same as him at least to some extent. It was still hard for him to believe you could be in love with him just as much as he was with you. But if the evening showed him anything, it was the fact that you seemed to find him just as attractive as he found you. And that was a fucking stretch. He was still lanky at best and you were…you were….perfection. The way you looked at him throughout the evening still made his whole body heat up. All in all he fell asleep with the most glorious feeling rushing through his veins and giddiness for the next day beside you.

It felt like ages later that you woke up to a light tickling on your back. Groaning a bit you opened your eyes to see Sirius watching you intently. He grinned the moment your eyes connected and you immediately reciprocated. Nuzzling his nose with yours you felt his fingertips lightly stroking your back underneath your sleepshirt. “Merry Christmas, Sirius”, you said while kissing the tip of his nose. “Merry Christmas, my love” he whispered. Raising a hand to his face you traced the outline of his lips. He sighed heavily and kissed the tip of your finger. “I…,” you started, getting sucked in more and more by his mesmerizing eyes. Only now you realised how perfectly they were framed by his eyebrows and lines around the edges. Taking a deep breath you continued. “I love waking up to you” you said with an awestruck voice. He made a defeated sound and buried his face in your chest while you started giggling, slightly embarrassed.

He mumbled something but you couldn´t make it out. “What did you say?” you asked, still grinning. Muffled mumbling again. You snorted a little bit and pinched his arm lightly. He laughed and came up to look at you. Holding your face in one hand he slightly shook his head. “You can´t say stuff like this to me first thing in the morning” he said, licking his lips. “It´ll go to my head as well as my groin.” Humming lightly your hands started to wander downwards. His eyes immediately became dark as he pulled you closer. “You little minx, is this how you want to start Christmas?” he asked in a gravelly voice. You nodded your head, biting your lip. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath. “Can´t believe I´m saying this…” he whispered almost inaudible. “Love, I´d love nothing more than to keep you here in this bed all day and only stand up to get food but…” his tongue darted out licking a long stipe up your neck while murmuring against your throat. You shivered so hard you almost felt your teeth clank. “There are guests in this house. And I pride myself in being a good host so we should probably have brunch with them.”

Your mind almost blank you blinked a few times before being able to think straight again. “You little git” you breathed incredulously. He chuckled and kissed you hard on the mouth. “That´s what you get when you try to rile me up. Yesterday you were successful but believe me, my darling, two can play that game.” You loved seeing his confidence flare up. You loved it even more if he did it for or because of you. “So you are going to tease me relentlessly for the whole day and then let me ruin you once we are alone again?” you asked in a teasing voice. He groaned at the thought. “That´s the general idea, yeah. If we even make it to being alone again.” You gasped in mock consternation. “Otherwise I´ll just pull you into the next closet, hoist you up and-“ “I GOTTA USE THE LOO” you said loudly and jumped off the bed quickly. Sirius´ cackle following you into the bathroom.

Calm down, calm down, you said to yourself when the door closed. You looked onto your reflection and shook your head indignantly. Your hair was a mess as always, your eyes a little bloodshot but shining like they never had before and your face and neck so red, Rudolf the Reindeer would be proud. “Little shit” you whisper-yelled. It was on! If the whole of Christmas day was spend with you teasing each other just to see what happened, you were not complaining at all. Anticipation like you have never felt before churned in our stomach and suddenly not being near him felt wrong. Using the toilet and washing your hands you quickly made your way back to the bed. To your utter disappointment, Sirius was already half dressed again when he turned to you. “Awww,” he said, pulling you closer when he saw your pout. He kissed you softly. “Don´t look like that, little dove. We have a brunch to attend to. Unless you want the wrath of one Remus John Lupin be bestowed upon thee. And believe me, that´s no joke. That scrawny bugger can be terrifying” he shook himself. Laughing you stroked his sides and watched his eyes grow heavy again. “Do I have time for a shower?” you asked quietly. He mused for a moment. Then he nodded. “Hurry up though if you won´t let me join” he said mischievously. You giggled and detached from him. “I´ll be down in the kitchen as soon as possible” you said while turning around. “I want to see you naked again”, he called after you. Again giggling, you half turned around in the doorframe of the bathroom giving him a show of your pantie clad bum. “So impatient, Mr. Black” you said teasingly while closing the door. With an incredulous huff he pulled his shirt over his head and shook it to sort out his thoughts again. Staring at the closed bathroom door he heard the shower starting and before thinking about it too much, he turned around and strolled out the room. A shower would probably do wonders for him as well.

Walking down the few steps to his own room he pushed his hand down his face trying to get his grin under control. No avail. Turning onto the landing he almost collided with Remus. “Ooop, sorry mate, wasn´t paying attention” he said. “Clearly” Remus smirked. “Shut up”

Remus looked him up and down. “You know I´m happy for you. She really is good for you” Sirius smiled and clapped his shoulder. “Yeah, thanks mate. Merry Christmas.” Remus smiled at him happily. “That it´ll be. Merry Christmas. Hurry up though, we are almost ready downstairs.” Sirius nodded and before thinking twice about it he pulled Remus in and hugged him close. With a surprised Umph, Remus wound his arms around his back and patted down affectionately. “See you downstairs” Sirius said while letting him go and almost skipped down the small hallway towards his room. Shaking his head but with a soaring heart, Remus made his way down the stairs to the kitchen. Seeing Sirius interact with you made him think of Lily and James. A nostalgic heaviness nestled itself into his chest but this year, it was way lighter than before. He had Sirius back in his life, Harry was under way of becoming a respectable young man and Dora….well Dora. He knew that he will probably never have the courage to actually act on his feelings for her but for once, if only for Christmas, he wasn´t going to dissolve in self-pity. He was already enjoying life more every day. This day would be a good one. And maybe with a bit of liquid courage and some mistletoe, he would ask Dora for a peck on the cheek.

Finishing your shower as quickly as you could you opted on a crimson wool sweater that hugged your waist perfectly and a pair of black faux-leather pants thinking Sirius would surely appreciate them. Choosing just a bit of mascara you blow dried your hair and made your way down to the kitchen. Realising that this could be your most beautiful Christmas yet you hurried your steps. A magical Christmas…what would that entail, you wondered? Hopping down the stairs to the kitchen excitedly your question was partially answered at the bottom. Teary eyed you saw the small Christmas tree in the corner, ornaments draping themselves onto it top to bottom. At the table sat an assortment of the Weasleys, Harry, Remus and Tonks. The kitchen smelled incredible of gravy, turkey, potatoes and vegetables and something sugary sweet. Tonks´ head whipped around when you entered the kitchen and she stood quickly. Hugging you close and whispering a merry Christmas in your ear she steered you to your seat. To your surprise, Sirius was not in the kitchen. Maybe he was changing clothes as well, you thought. While Molly prepared the rest of the food, you had a blast with the twins trying one exploding bonbon after another and laughing hysterically.

Suddenly, white flakes started falling slowly around you. Fascinated you looked up, but there was no cloud. The flakes seemed to appear out of nowhere. But there they were, falling quietly onto your face and gathering onto the table in little heaps. They weren´t cold at all. You turned your head towards the door and there he stood. Arm with his wand in hand outstretched and pointing above your head, you knew it was him that conjured up the fake snow. He put his wand back in his robes and smiled at you. Quickly standing, you made your way over to him. The pull you felt whenever your eyes landed on him guided you into his arms without fail. He smelled incredible and, had he done something to his beard? Curious, you leaned back to look at him properly. His hair was shiny and ever so bouncy, his eyes as grey as the clouds outside, he smelled like rain falling onto crisp, sun warmed autumn leaves, leather and smoke. You closed your eyes momentarily. When you opened them again he was looking at your lips in concentration but soon fixed his irises onto yours again. He did do something with his beard, you noticed. It was trimmed, shiny and…styled. Your fingers shook a tiny bit as you touched the intricate curl at the end of his moustache. Between the ink black strands, every so often interrupted with white streaks, his teeth blinked through as he grinned. The lines around his eyes deepening, making him look even more handsome and intriguing. Wiggling his eyebrows at you he pulled you closer again by your waist leaning down to you.

Surging up impatiently you pressed your lips to his, enjoying his satisfied hum. You knew it, his beard was softer than usual. His one hand landed on the back of your neck lightly, then he broke the kiss. Dreamily he looked down at you before paying attention to the rest of the room. You watched as he crossed the room, whishing everyone merry Christmas and stopping momentarily to talk to Harry and Ron for a moment longer. You couldn’t decide which look you liked more on him. The casual t-shirt and jeans or what he was wearing right now. Black trousers, black button up shirt and a black and silver suit vest that seemed to be painted on him. He looked and moved like a true man of status, even though the silver rings on his fingers as well as his tattoos that peeked from the garments begged to differ. You knew exactly why he chose the button up shirt, remembering your reaction a few days back when he showed you his animagus form. He caught your eye across the table and winked saucily at you. Smirking, you made your way over to him, making sure your hips swayed a bit more than usual. It was effective. His eyes narrowed as he took you in and his tongue darted out to wet his lips. “Beautiful”, he mumbled when you reached him and sat down. You could feel your cheeks heat up. There was a possibility you would never get used to hearing that from him.

The day just seemed to fly by. The food was delicious and plenty, the kids and grown ups immersed in conversation or shenanigans. Wine was consumed, molten chocolate licked off of fingers (Yes, Sirius made it a whole show only for you when so one was looking) and soon it was evening. Time for presents. You were getting more and more nervous because of the gift you send the twins out to get. It had been a bit difficult obtaining any kind of gift being cooped up at Grimmauld place, but you wouldn´t have changed a thing. The gift you had was stored under your bed, so when you saw Molly finishing up storing away the leftovers of a magnificent dinner, you stood and leaned down to Sirius. He had a questioning look on his face. You smiled at him and said “There is something that I would like to give you.” His eyes grew wide and quickly he grabbed you hand, standing as well. Clearing his throat for the whole kitchen to hear, everyone’s attention was on the two of you. Suddenly, you felt a bit exposed seeing as every single person in the room had either a knowing smirk on their face or seemed like they where about to dash somewhere. “I didn´t realise how late is was getting” Sirius said with a nervous chuckle. “But, I guess it´s time. Everyone, get set, go!” He clapped his hands dramatically and several things happened at once.

Tonks hurried over to you, grabbing your arm and hopping up and down. Molly, Arthur and the rest of the guests moved to the stairs and vanished quickly. With a dumbstruck look on your face you stared at Sirius. He had an excited look on his handsome face. “Go with Dora and listen to everything she tells you, all right?” He grinned. “Sirius, what in the world is going on?” His grin became even wider before he kissed you quickly and, walking backwards made his way to the stairs as well. “Just, take your time and listen to Dora.” With this he walked upstairs while you looked at Tonks with a slightly open mouth. “We need to wait for just a minute”, she grinned. “Where did everybody go?” you asked. She pulled you towards the stairs. “That´s no worry of yours. Come on, follow me.” You made your way up the stairs and to the upper floors. “Tonks, the house is deserted! Did everyone leave?” you asked worriedly. With a reassuring smile she shook her head. “No, no no no. They´re um…somewhere in the house. Come on, hurry.” She pulled you up and up until you were standing in front of your own door. “Tonks,” you said in a mildly annoyed tone. “What is this?” She said nothing, just opened the door and guided you inside. Your breath caught in your throat and your eyes immediately watered. Only Sirius Orion Black would come up with something like this. Quiet snowflakes were dancing in your room, falling like feathers onto the bed, the dresser and…a dress. Mounted on an invisible mannequin, in front of the stained glass window there hovered a dress of the likes you had never seen before. It took your breath away. The floor length gown slowly turned on its axis when you stepped closer. Entranced, you reached your hand out, softly touching the material. It flowed over your hand like water. The delicate deep dark-green dress was covered in what seemed like tiny silver snowflakes. Taking a closer look they not only twinkled but moved slowly across the fabric. Thin silver chains were used as straps. The waterfall neckline was perfectly accentuating the wearers chest without it being too low. The chains of silver fell down over the shoulders to the middle where they connected and twisted elegantly covering the open back somewhat.

You were staring with an open mouth and turned to Tonks. Her hands were pressed to her lips while she looked at you giddily. “You like it?” she asked in a high pitched voice. “Sirius was very specific in what he wanted it to look like” she giggled. “Sirius gave this in order?” you whispered incredulously. She nodded quickly. “Yes, he did. Couple of weeks ago actually. He….he said you never had a real Christmas so he wanted you to have something nice.” Something nice. You looked at Tonks and felt the tears run down your face. “Your cousin is going to be my kryptonite, d´you know that?” you asked with a tight throat. She looked a bit confused at that. “What´s kryp…kryptotide? Sounds like laundry detergent.” She wrinkled her nose and shrugged. Smiling and handing you a tissue from the dresser she threw her arm around your shoulders and hugged you to her side.

You chuckled while drying your cheeks looking closer around the room. Several more things caught your eye. Your bed had more cushions than before, there was a bottle of champagne and two flutes on the dresser and on the comforter of your bed, there lay a beautifully wrapped package. “Oh, Sirius. What have you done?” you breathed when you walked closer to it. Tonks had already thrown herself on the bed and sat Criss Cross on it. Gesturing for you to open the package you slowly sat down on the bed as well and took the package. Grinning while removing the wrapping paper, you gasped when you opened the lid of the sleek black casing. Inside lay a beautiful bracelet. It was made of the same delicate silver chains as the straps of the dress. They wove themselves around each other creating the most beautiful pattern. White gemstones adorned it spiralling upwards. The bracelet would probably wind itself up to your elbow. “This is…so beautiful. I don´t really know what to say”, you said quietly, smiling shily at Tonks. She nodded her dead. “Yea, when it comes to jewellery, Sirius seems to have a very sharp eye.” Suddenly she seemed more serious. “___, I wanted to thank you.” You looked at her puzzled. “I don´t want to say that I know my cousin very well. Our families had a falling out even before I was born and he…he was stuck with the worse part.” She hung her head for a second. “But after actually getting to know him a little AND knowing he is innocent, that all these horrible things said about him aren´t true… seeing him this happy and carefree, Remus says so too by the way…is a relieve I didn´t know I needed. I always felt awful about the fact that he had to stay here.” You nodded in understanding. “But the person you are helping most, is Sirius. That´s probably the reason he wanted to make this day perfect for you. I´m not sure if he knows what else to do” she laughed.

“He doesn´t have to buy me expensive things”, you said slowly, fumbling with the bracelet. Tonks started cackling which confused you to no end. You waited until she stopped wheezing and she continued with heaving breaths. “You are so adorable, seriously. ___, that man…that man is the sole heir to one of the oldest wizarding families of all time!! He could….he could buy you a dress like that each day until he reaches 100 years old and wouldn´t even notice he was spending money!” You gaped at her. Sure, you had a feeling that this house alone must be worth something but this…”That much, huh?” you asked. She nodded again. “Yeah. The only reason you don´t see him parading that fact around is that he hates this fortune. Always has. He resents the Black family and everything that comes with it.” She stood and made her way over to the bottle of champagne. Opening it and winking at you she continued. “But I guess spending his wretched mothers money on a sweet little Muggle,” she handed you the champagne while you giggled. “Seems to satisfy him to no end.”

You took a long sip from your flute and took a deep breath. “Tonks, um…talking about satisfaction…” you could feel your whole face heat up and your scalp began to prickle. Tonks on the other hand held up her palm, took a big sip as well and said “I see where this is going and don´t worry, I come prepared with potion and an open ear.” Your head snapped up at her, a relieved and thankful look in your eyes. “BUT,” she continued. “Sirius is still my cousin so…Eww. I am not drunk enough for this conversation yet.” She winked at you and downed her champagne. Grinning you stood this time, taking the whole bottle and sat back down. “You are amazing, Tonks. Here is to you!” You two toasted and suddenly you began to laugh. “What, what?” Tonks asked. “When….when am I ever going to wear something this fancy?!” you asked pointing at the still rotating gown. Tonks´ eyes went wide. “Oh, that´s right, I haven´t told you. You will wear that dress. Tonight, in fact!” she grinned mischievously. “What? To where?” Tonks  suddenly had a dreamy look on her face. “Maybe you haven´t noticed it yet, but Sirius is cauldron over broomstick for you!” You felt your whole body heat up. “So,” she continued. “He kind of threatened everyone to bring fancy clothes for Christmas.” Your eyes went wide. “Threatened?” you squeaked. “No worries, he was civil about it…kind of” she winked. ��Right now, everyone is either getting changed or in the library….decorating. It´s going to be a ball, promise.”

You were floored. Absolutely floored and again, close to tears. Shaking your head from side to side to make them go away you smiled at Tonks. “I really get to wear it?” you asked. Tonks leapt from the bed and stretched out her hand. “Yep”, she said happily as she helped you stand. “But before we go downstairs, we need to get ready.” You nodded excitedly.  For the next hour, Tonks and you got your hair and makeup done and emptied the bottle of champagne. Giggling and joking around it was time to get dressed. Tonks suddenly said “Oh, I just remembered. Sirius asked me to tell you something.” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. You looked at her expectantly. “He said: The black one!” You groaned knowing exactly what he meant. And so apparently did Tonks. She dissolved into a fit of giggles when you pulled the garments from your dresser. Your face as red as a tomato. “Oh, that little philanderer” she said. “Ok, seems like the ick factor about the fact that you want to shag my cousin is wearing off,” you gave her a playful eyeroll. “So, here you go.” She reached into a tiny back she had thrown on the bag and pulled out a little vial. Inside was a shimmering light blue potion. You took it and looked at it questioningly. “This is going to work? No accidents?” Tonks nodded. “Yep, I got it from a friend. She brews it herself, I´m not that good with potions. You can trust me, she is a pro.” With a wink from Tonks you opened the vial and downed its contents. It didn´t taste like anything but you could feel a warm, heavy feeling settle in your belly. Smiling, you looked at Tonks who to your surprise was elbow deep inside the tiny bag, searching for something with a concentrated look on her face. You didn´t even begin to wonder how to physically explain what you were seeing. With a triumphant “Ha!” Tonks pulled out her own dress. A stunning powder pink dress that seemed to come straight from the 50´s.

“Wow,” you said when she held it up. “Remus is going to loose his mind” you said saucily. Now it was Tonks´ turn to blush. “You think?” she asked. “Absolutely! If he does not at least attempt to flirt or do something, I´ll personally hold the mistletoe above your heads.” Smiling shily at you, she took a deep breath. “I hope he does. It´s getting very hard not to jump him at times.” Your mouth fell open. “Dora Tonks, you little horndog” you almost shouted. She grinned and shrugged. “What? He gives me the horny” Dissolving into laughter you clutched your belly and keeled over. “Ok, no more alcohol until we are at the party. Otherwise this is going to escalate” you giggled. “Ok, let´s get dressed. It´s almost time” Tonks said. Suddenly, your heart beat faster and harder in your chest. You had no idea what to expect. You took the gown and went into the bathroom. Getting dressed you looked into the mirror. Only wearing the black lace underwear you did feel sexy. That feeling doubled however as soon as you saw the dress on you. It was absolute perfection. The color perfectly complimenting your skin and hair, you let out a long breath. Turning, you never felt more beautiful. This must be the most gorgeous piece of clothing you had ever owned. Giddy with excitement you opened the door.  

Tonks stood by the door looking stunning. Dress and hair the same shade, she wore black sandals and light makeup. When she looked up her jaw went slack. “My Merlin” she breathed. “You look like a goddess,___” You looked at the floor for a minute. “He´s going to lose his fuckin´ mind.” She laughed. Grinning you put on a pair of silver slippers. No one would see those anyway, the dress was floor-length with a slight train. “I can´t wait to see him” you said softly. Tonks hummed in understanding and opened the door. You descended the stairs and when the doors to the library came into few you let out a long whistle. Just at the same moment as the twins did. Standing on either side of the double doors, Fred and George looked stunningly dapper. Both dressed in dark blue cloaks, their hair on point, they bowed dramatically while pushing open the doors. George sent you a sly wink as you grinned at him.

And then you feet planted themselves to the floor. The library had transformed into some sort of white Christmas wonderland. At the far end next to the fireplace were two enormous Christmas trees. Clad in white tinsel, golden and green ornaments, again fake snow falling graciously around them. There was a bar to the left where you could see Kingsley, Arthur and Bill nursing drinks and laughing. Candles floated above your heads emitting soft golden light throughout the room. A giant ice sculpture stood close to the wall where you could see the kids gathering. Something inside the sculpture made some kind of bubbling sound and the teenagers all seemed to be very interested in the colorful liquid flowing around it. All the darkness this room once held seemed to be pushed back into the farthest corners. Holding your breath you saw a big pile of presents to your right strewn across a giant wooden table with claws feet.  

Just as you were about to inspect the Christmas trees further you heard a gurgling sound and a sputtered out “D-Dora”. Already grinning you turned and saw Remus clutching his Tumbler of amber liquid so hard his knuckles were white as the snow around you. Tonks squeezed your hand quickly and made her way over to Remus. He looked very handsome as well in a solid black suit. Quickly shaking his head he offered his arm to Tonks and steered her towards the bar. Smiling at their backs you suddenly felt the hairs on your neck and arms stand at attention. Turning slowly, your eyes met Sirius´. He was standing several feet away from you, half hidden under the dancing shadows of a Christmas tree. His eyes however glimmered in the darkness like jewels. When he stepped into the light you swore you died and went to heaven. There was no way this vision of a man held your eyes, was walking towards you. But he was.

He was also wearing something different. His trousers were still black, as was his shirt. But his vest now was a maroon masterpiece with intricate silver patterns. The walking coat he wore matched his vest and gave him even more the appearance of a powerful aristocrat. At least you thought so until he came to a halt in front of you. Opening and closing your mouth without a sound escaping your lips, you looked closer. Silver rings adorned his tattooed fingers as they did this morning. What held your fascination the most however was the half updo of his hair, bearing his ears. One of which had a row of earrings up the shell of it. He stared at you just as intently. Little whisps of hair not held by the updo falling onto his forehead. Lifting his hands to softly grab your waist, you shivered violently. His lips twitched bemused when he opened his mouth. “I just knew you would be a vision wearing that.” You smiled. “Speak for yourself” you croaked and cleared your throat. Your arms wound themselves around his neck as he pulled you closer to him. “I love the hairstyle” you whispered. Sirius grinned, his canines flashing in the firelight. “The earrings are new though” He nodded. “Yeah, I haven´t worn these for 18 years at least. Thought maybe I was too old now” You shook your head immediately. “I like them. They are very you” you said lovingly. “Well, then they stay for now.”

With these words his fingertips caressed your back while his head dipped down. Smiling, he kissed you. Tell him, tell him, say it now!! It would be perfect. While his lips moved in tandem with yours you lost all sense of time however.  When he broke the kiss he kept your face close and whispered against your lips. “That dress on you, woman…I don´t know what I want to see more. You in that dress or out of it.” Giggling you kissed him again moving your arms from his neck and winding them around his waist. “Sirius Black, what have you done? Not just the dress, which I absolutely adore” you said quickly. “But this whole room. It´s so beautiful.” You felt his chest swell with pride when he stepped back and took your hands in his. “I wanted this to be perfect. I have the means to make it not just a party, but a ball. So I did. Merry Christmas, my love.” You smiled at him with tears in your eyes and again pulled him into a passionate kiss. “Thank you, Sirius. For all this. It´s perfect.” He squeezed you again and lead you over to the ice sculpture. With his arm around your waist and a big smile he approached Harry, Hermione, Ron and Ginny.  

“___, you look incredible.” Hermione said in aw and gaped at your dress. She was wearing a purple dress that suited her very much. “Thank you, Hermione. You all look so dashing tonight. I want to thank you for helping with this” you said in a calm voice. They all ppsshhaaa-ed and Harry looked at the two of you in a pleased way. Smiling at you he toasted his bottle of butterbeer. “I´ll get us some drinks, love” Sirius said an made his way over to the bar. Staring after him you only managed to look anywhere else when Hermione and Ginny started giggling. With red cheeks you turned around and grinned embarrassed. “What´s this, then?” you asked in a high pitched voice and gestured to the colorful liquid pouring from the ice statue. “Ah, that” Harry said smiling. “That is giggle water.” You raised both eyebrows. “It tickles when you drink it” he clarified.

As it turns out, wizard parties only differed from Muggle ones in décor and fashion. Fascinated you looked around the room all night, Sirius glued to your side, and admired the wardrobe of different wizards. Some were wearing simple suits like Remus, mostly two pieces. Sirius seemed the only one wearing a three piece. Others like Kingsley and some other wizard from the order however wore the most magnificent cloaks. Kingsley´s dark skin glowed while the solid golden fabric clad to his shoulders. The other wizard wore a cloak of violent acid green that made him look like a walking, talking radioactive warning sign.

You were currently standing over by the bar with Tonks and Remus, laughing at Tonks´ story about how she drove her mother mad one summer by constantly changing her face. “She always thought she picked up the wrong kid from the train station”, she giggled uncontrollably. Remus, who had already had several drinks (no doubt trying to gather some courage), laughed out loud and leaned his shoulder on Tonks. She looked up at him with glowing cheeks but couldn´t hold the eye contact long. At that moment, the twins brought a giant gramophone into the library and pushed it onto the massive table. “Presents!” They shouted just as the gramophone started and upbeat, melodic music filled the room. Grinning, you looked up at Sirius over your shoulder and took his hand. “This way,” you said giddily. With a chuckle and a raised eyebrow he followed you obediently.

You steered him to the fireplace and while the Weasleys, Harry and Hermione tore into their presents, you were not at all surprised when you saw your present for Sirius sitting prettily on the table. Suddenly a nervousness overcame you. You took the present and made your way over to Sirius who was eying you a bit suspiciously. Flushing, you held the present out to him. He took it carefully without looking away from your eyes. “For me”? he asked carefully. “How did you…?” “The twins”, you shrugged. “They helped.” Sirius turned his head towards the twins who leaned against the table, their new scarfs hanging from their necks. “Just so you know, Sirius,” Fred said and pointed at the present. “We want one, once you are familiar with it.”

Puzzled, he looked back at the present. You took the drink from his hand and put it on the mantlepiece along with your own. “Open it” you said sweetly. It seemed almost like he needed the permission before he carefully but quickly got rid of the parchment wrapping paper. He opened the lid and your heart almost gave out. His face changed from being dumbstruck to pure glee and gratitude. He didn´t even say much, just looked from your face to the present in his hands. Without hesitation he took out the old fashioned tattoo gun and held it to the light. “This is a…” he spoke in awe. “Muggle tattoo gun” you completed his sentence, nervously stepping from one foot to the other. “You like it?” you asked carefully. He focused his eyes on you. Setting the tattoo gun on the coffee table next to him he took two steps towards you and slammed his lips to yours. The next moment you felt his arms come around your lower back lifting you up. With a little squeal, you clutched  his face in our hands while he turned on the spot, never breaking this kiss. Setting you onto your feet again he carefully pulled you to his chest and buried his face in your hair. “I received the most perfect gift the moment Dumbles brought you into my house. Thank you, darling. I love it.” Contently you snuggled into his chest and felt the satisfied rumble right next to your ear. Opening your eyes you saw several pairs of eyes trained on you and Sirius. Molly sniffled in a corner clutching Arthurs arm. Fred and George had mock disgust written over their faces but fist bumped none the less. Hermione and Ginny giggled with red faces and Harry looked very interested in his new pullover, thumbling with it but grinning ear to ear.  

More presents were exchanged and muffled rock music from the 60´s and 70´s flowed around you. You were sitting contently next to Sirius, laughing along with his stories and watching everyone handle themselves in different stages of drunk. The kids had excused themselves to their rooms, no doubt continuing the party there in their own pace. Suddenly, a slightly tipsy Sirius turned to you with an evil grin. “Wanna see how I used to fuck with Remus?” he asked while lighting a cigarette. You eyed Remus across the room with a snicker. When you nodded your head, Sirius stood up and went to the gramophone. Curious you followed him. With the cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth, he fumbled with the device for a second before he started giggling like a small boy, put his forefinger to his lips and pointed at Remus exhaling the smoke. Your attention on Remus, a song started.

The moment the first cords started playing, Remus whipped around completely, staring disbelievingly at Sirius who wore a shit eating grin moving his hips comically left and right to the rhythm of the song.

I see a pale moon risin´. I see trouble on the way….

“Sirius!” That was Mollies voice. Trying to sound scolding but with a slight sway in her voice. Several people started snorting into their drinks as a mortified Remus made his way over to you. Tonks was standing next to Molly, doubling over with laughter, wiping at her eyes.

Don´t go around tonight,

Well it´s bound to take your life

There´s a bad moon on the rise

“Turn that off!” Remus hissed in a panicked voice and a sidewards glace to you. “Come on, Rem!” Sirius bellowed. “It´s funny!” “Sirius, please! She´s not aware-“ Your head snapped up to him. “About your furry little problem?” you asked. Remus looked like he just swallowed a toad. Eyes huge, he stuttered some nonsense. “Before you think about hexing Sirius” you continued. “I figured it out myself. It´s not that hard, honestly. And Sirius is right, it is funny” you said, dissolving into giggles again. Blushing to the tip of his nose, Remus didn´t know where to look. Sirius threw his arm around his friends shoulders and shook him a little. “You need to lighten up a little, Rem. No one here gives a hippogriff’s arse about you being a werewolf. We know who you are.” He gestured to the people around you. Nodding intensively, you came over and drunkenly ruffled Remus´ hair. He looked at you like you had just lost your mind until his eyes fixed themselves on Tonks. Sirius took your hand and moved a bit away from Remus. Your hand went to your mouth when you observed how Tonks walked over to Remus, gave him a sweet smile while touching his face lightly and then…leaned in and pecked his cheek lovingly. You would have thought Remus would lose his balance but all you saw were his shoulders visibly relaxing, his breath escaping his chest slowly while he leaned into Tonks´ touch. “Finally,” Sirius breathed in mock exasperation next to you. “Some progress.” Nodding you took the cigarette from him, holding eye contact you put it to your lips and inhaled the smoke. His face changed from questioningly raising an eyebrow to growling low in his throat leaning in and kissing you hard.

You thought it was best to leave Remus and Tonks to it, so you pulled Sirius to a quiet corner of the room. Sitting down on one of the big armchairs, he pulled you onto his lap. Making yourself comfortable he chuckled and whispered in your ear. “Are you terribly drunk, my love?” You shook your head. “No. Tipsy at best. I still know right from wrong” you answered truthfully. A satisfied growl came from his chest while his hands started wandering. “Perfect” he answered. You couldn´t tell if he meant the fact that you weren´t that drunk or anything else. Nosing the length of your neck while stubbing out the cigarette you had shared, he gave a content sigh. “How are you feeling?” you asked quietly while playing with his hair. He raised his head looking you in the eyes. “Content, warm,” he breathed. “Happy.” That one word out of his mouth was a better gift than any of the extravaganza around you. “Really?” you asked with a watery smile. He smiled right back, nodding. “Really.” He said. “Largely because of you” You looked away bashfully until his fingers grasped your chin and tilted your head back, facing his. “I´m telling the truth,___” he said earnestly. “You made this the most wonderful Christmas since before Lily and James. And not just for me” he said, pointing in Remus´ direction. You kissed his forehead and leaned yours to his. “I would do anything to see you be happy” you said shakily. Kissing at this point seemed like the most natural thing for the both of you agreeing on something. Or just using it as a tool to convey what words were too weak to do.

It felt like hours just sitting there, breathing each other in, touching innocently while the world stood still. Sirius felt light as air, his hands around your waist. This wasn´t teasing. This was exploring, getting to know the other. “Will you dance with me, beautiful?” he whispered when the gramophone started playing a slow, swinging tune. Your eyes grew a bit wider at the thought. “I…I never learned how to dance.” You said bashfully. Sirius smiled and stood, setting you down. “Just follow my lead, my love” he said while taking your hand. He lead you to the space between the sofas and the fireplace and lifted your hand to his shoulder. His came around your waist, lightly settling on your back. Turning on your axis you swayed back and forth. Soon your head landed on his shoulder while his arms pulled you closer to his body. It was like a cheesy, bad movie but the one person that dared to interrupt your dancing would die by your hand.  

When one person after another excused themselves back to their rooms, you knew it was time for a nightcap and…well. The last half hour you remained in Sirius´ arms was almost torture. Your skin was on fire and although you loved the whole evening, Sirius´ eyes promised you something you wanted even more. Only you two, Tonks and Remus remining, Sirius took four small glasses and a bottle of Firewhisky to the fireplace. Handing out one each, he raised his glass, as did all of you. “I´d like to say thanks” he said while pulling you close to him. Tonks and Remus stood suspiciously closer to each other than they normally did and even if the light was low, you definitely saw how their pinkies connected. “You all made this Christmas less of an ordeal than it has been the last few years.” Remus snorted and rolled his eyes while clanking his glass with Sirius´. “Stop it with the sob story and make every day as good as you can make it.” He scolded him. With a surprised look on his face, Sirius started laughing and toasted to Tonks and then turned to you. Tapping his glass lightly to yours he looked deeply into your eyes when he downed his drink. You could feel your insides burning without even having drank the whisky yet. Doing just that you threw your head back with the glass on your lips. Grey eyes roaming over your neck and shoulders you heard Tonks clearing her throat. “I don´t know about you Remus, but the tension in here is getting to me” she winked. Remus sighed and hung his head dramatically. Smiled at her however and nodded slightly. “We´ll be off” she sang and hugged you closely. “Have fun” she whispered in your ear and with a fist bump to Sirius´ shoulder she skipped to the doors. With a tight lipped smile, Remus hugged Sirius, patting him on the back. He hugged you as well whispering Merry Christmas to you and walked over to Tonks, leaving the library with her.

The moment the doors swung close the mood switched. Something seemed to burst, like a bubble. Sirius´ hands were on you within the second and with catlike movements he picked you up and sat you down on the table. Peppering kisses all over your throat and collar bone. The dress you wore made it impossible to spread your legs wide enough to let him get closer. A frustrated whine came from your throat when you tried to pull his head closer to your chest. You scooted down the table onto your feet again. As you leaned slightly back, you pulled Sirius over you. Placing his hand on either side of you on the table his breath came out in pants across your chest. “You taste incredible” he said. “Godrick, that dress. Do you know how delectable you look? Hm?” One hand came to your side sliding over the fabric of the dress. “Couldn´t take my eyes off you if I wanted to. When you came in I thought I was dreaming.” You whined at his words. His hand on your side moved upwards towards your shoulder, skimmed across your collarbone and finally moved downwards. Resting on the swell of your breasts, his eyes narrowed when he saw them quickly moving up and down with your breathing. Completely enthralled, he pulled the material of the waterfall neckline to the side and made a little satisfied sound when he started to uncover the black lace underneath. “You´re wearing it” he said with a slight smirk on his face. When you looked at him, you saw black pools instead of silver. “You asked me to” you simply said.

Nodding, he kissed you and immediately licked your lower lip for access which you granted. While stroking your tongue with his own his hands began to wander again. One moving to your bum, squeezing lightly while the other covered your breast. The moan you let him hear seemed to spur him on. His hand on your breast moved more deliberately towards your nipple. Even through the lacy material, his circling palm across your nipple made you shiver and shake in his arms. You could already feel his excitement pressing into your hip. Groaning he rolled his hips into you. You had trouble thinking or what to with your hands. So you buried one underneath the upper portion of his hairdo and the other pulled him in by the waist. “Shit,” he rasped. “Sweetheart, do you still want this? Tell me, please” he panted onto your lips. You nodded quickly while pulsing with excitement. “Yes!” you answered breathlessly. “Yes, I want it. Sirius please, let me have you.” He took a huge gulp of air and nodded. With obvious discontent he stepped back, took your hand in his and pulled you towards the door. You started giggling when you almost tripped, wondering how you would get up the stairs to your room quietly when Sirius suddenly turned right on the landing. Oh. OH! His room. Yes, yes please. He looked at you with glowing cheeks and said “My room is closer. Is that alright?” You nodded while a grin split your face. “Yes, absolutely” you said. He slowed down, suddenly pressing you to a door to your right. “Good,” he spoke in your ear. “We´re here.” Kissing you passionately he reached behind you and opened the door. He walked you through it without breaking the kiss, kicking the door close again behind him.

___________________________________________________________

As always, thank you very much for reading. Please consider interacting with my post so we can push this fanfic to more people that might be interessted. ;) See you in the next part!

@twilightlover2007

@momorina

@thinking-bucky

@clockworkherondale

[tteokdoroki]

— “PANTY THIEF + BAKUGOU.”

author’s note(s): inspired by this fanart and everyone being horny on THE DASH !! dedicated to @honeykeigo n @lady-bakuhoe for enabling my horny behaviour ok ok. also this turned out longer than i expected so ,,, have fun?

warning(s): mdni, 18+, smut, dubcon, mentions of drinking, uhh sniffed and stolen panties, slight!exhibitionism, power play dynamics, fingering, pussy slaps uwu, fem!reader + pro hero!bakugou.

“y-you uh, you don’t haf’ta do this mishta—?“

“dynamight.”

“r-right, dy-ma-might!”

katsuki had rolled his eyes the first time you spoke to him, a sweet, darling little girl too drunk on whatever shitty alcohol you’d been served at the bar on friday night. you obviously didn’t drink much, maybe even drunk too much— the hero would tell by the way your eyes crossed with your legs as you walked and the fact that you couldn’t remember the right way to spell your own name and it was clear your friends were a bunch of assholes for abandoning their shit faced friend to find her own way home.

he hated, this part of the job but he’d have felt bad if the guy following you home had done something bad to you and besides— the way you pressed yourself to the explosive hero, breasts spilling out of your tight black dress, thick and juicy thighs exposed to the fresh night air makes the whole ordeal worth it. oh you’re so cute, got katsuki’s cock stirring in his pants— his baggy hero costume suddenly becoming way too fucking tight for his liking. you’ll pay him back, he knows that you will, all of his fans do in some way or another.

you’ll be special though, if the smell of your saccharine cunt is anything to go by. slick dripping down your shaky thighs while he guides you down the empty street, and of course you’d be attracted to him. bakugou will have to indulge in you; his reward for being such a gentleman, for being your hero. “this ish me,” you squeak when the pair of you arrive at the door to your apartment complex. your words are smooshed together by your own drunken haze while you unlock the door to let yourself in.

how rude of you, forgetting all about dynamight who’d basically saved your life tonight. without much of a fight, bakugou pushes you against the door, effectively keeping it closed, his eyes cloud over— a storm thick with lust as you look up at him so innocently he could break. “not gonna invite me up, sweet stuff?” he coos, amused at the shiver that runs laps down the base of your spine. your thighs jump apart only just, giving the hero an opportunity to shove his hand up your dress to cup your sweet little cunt.

“i— i didn’t know—“ your mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water, confusion etched so prettily across your face it makes bakugou want to bend you over and fill your hole to the brim. he’d save that for later though. “didn’t think you’d want to—“

the blonde growls, thick fingers easily finding your panties under that short dress of yours. the black lace is soaked to the bone, a sticky mess spreading across the digits that now pinch at your puffy clit. you jump and bakugou growls hungrily. “s’awfully rude don’cha think, sweet stuff? that’s okay though, i think you can reward me right fuckin’ here, don’chu?” a toothy smirk tugs at the hero’s lips when you dumbly nod in agreement, your body trembling from a mix of cold, neediness and excitement. “atta girl, spread those needy fuckin’ thighs for me then.”

you seem to have sobered up quickly, listening well for the hero that saved you and part your meaty thighs to let bakugou push your panties to the side and give him more access to your runny cunny. “p-please dynamight, d-do somethin,” comes your whiney voice as he lowers his to get a better view of your spread your pussy lips; he watches as your hole oozes just for him, desperate to filled and fucked. it’s too early for his cock, he needs to give you a taste of something else before you get drunk on him.

without warning, he pushes two of his expert fingers past your puckering entrance, immediately curling them in a come hither motion as his heated red eyes flicker up to watch your face. your ruby painted lips hang open in a silent moan while your fingers dig into bakugou’s shoulders so hard your nails form tears in his hero suit. “fuckin’ look atcha baby, barely even touched ya ‘n you’re already suckin’ down my fingers so greedily.” he snarls, sharp teeth coming down on your barley clothed breast.

bakugou’s thumb massages rough circles into your clit, pulling more honeyed cries from your lips as your eyes screw shut. “f-fuck, dynamight, need more of your touch, ‘m begging you please!” is all you can say, mindlessly babbling as you fail to keep yourself up right. the explosive pro hero steadies you with an arm wrapped around your waist, fingers curling again to explore more of your velvet walls.

“it’s katsuki, to you,” he barks out, using the arm around your waist to smack your sloppy cunt, the wet sound echoing across the street. “needy little thing, beggin’ me like this, who am i to deny your wishes?” bakugou grins, mercilessly scissoring his digits into your tight heat to stretch you wide open for him. he can’t believe his luck, the way you’re so pliant and responsive to him and him alone.

it’s too soon for him to be this addicted to your cute moans filling the crisp air but he can’t help himself, not when you clamp around his scarred fingers with every pump of them into your silken heat. not with the way your own fingers now curl in sun kissed blonde hair— pulling the hero upwards to suck on his bottom lip, followed by his tongue.

you cry out, the most beautiful sound katsuki’s every heard in all twenty years of living when his fingers press down hard on that gummy pleasure spot inside you, and like the good girl you are for him, you keep your shaky thighs open for him. “you’re such a good fuckin’ doll, letting me finger you out in the open like this, anyone could see us but you wouldn’t care, not when you’re creamin’ your panties for dynamight, right sweet thing?” bakugou’s lewd words go straight to your cunt, entangled with the squelching noises as he moves within you.

“yes! yes! wouldn’t care, don’ care...j-jus wanna cum for you, s-suki—fuck, please—“ you mewl into the night, doe eyes shimmering with tears as the knot in your lower tummy gets tighter and tighter until you can’t bare it anymore.

bakugou grins, curling his fingers once more to send you hurtling off of the edge. he can’t stop thinking about how soaked your little lace panties must be, about all the things he’s going to do with them once he gets them off of you.

“cum.” your pussy follows his orders for you, white flashing behind your eyes as a scream rips in your throat and shoots out into the quiet night. the knot in your stomach snaps, release splashing out against bakugou’s hand and hero suit— he makes you cum so hard you almost black out, a twitching mess in the hero’s arms.

when you finally come to, bakugou’s slurping your nectar off of his fingers, head cocked to the side as you shakily look up at him. “i, uh...t-thank you!” you breathe, blinking away the buzzing noise in the back of your head. “for...uh...”

you’re so cute, flushed with heat and slick dripping from between your legs. you obviously think that was a one time thing, but bakugou hasn’t finished cashing in his reward. the hero shakes his head, using a thumb and forefinger to tilt your own up to meet his ruby gaze. “give me your phone and take off your panties.” he orders, voice authoritative and never wavering— you’re confused, but don’t question him, just as a good girl should.

rooting around in your now discarded purse, you pull out and unlock your going for katsuki, who busies himself with your contacts. embarrassment crawls up your spine when you reach for your underwear, still wet with your arousal and release, you look to bakugou hesitantly. “do i have to—?”

“off.” he grunts, barely looking up from your device as you shimmy out of the lace garment and hand it to him. bakugou gives you the same evil smirk from earlier while you collect yourself against the door, sniffing the flimsily, wet material before shoving them into the pocket of his pants. his cock is hard as a fucking rock, but he’ll be able to deal with it appropriately after his patrol. “i’ll be keeping these. this is where we say g’night sweet stuff.”

the way you curl in on yourself, perhaps a bit humiliated at the idea of your panties being taken by the number two pro hero is adorable, and if he didn’t have patrol, katsuki would have eaten you up right then and there. “goodnight dynamight— i mean, k-katsuki, thank you for everything and h-have a safe night.” you squeak out quickly, moving to open the door again.

“not a problem, honey,” bakugou whispers with a lowered voice, pulling you in to swipe his tongue across your bottom lip, shoving his tongue down your throat in a kiss goodnight. “now get your cute ass upstairs, don’ want anyone to see your leaky cunt like this. that’s fuckin’ mine.”

you do as you’re told, bidding the hero one last farewell before dashing up the steps and into your apartment. your heart and mind race a thousand miles a minute, crazed with the fact that you had just been fingered to the best fucking orgasm of your life by the number two pro hero. you have to force yourself to shower, mapping out all of the spots that bakugou had touched you and growing giddy at the small burn marks he’d left against the inner workings of your thighs.

that night, or rather, early morning— you settle into the sheets, mind still plagued with thoughts of katsuki bakugou, when your phone pings with a text.

to: yn.

from: unknown.

— never got your name sweet stuff, care to tell me who’s name i’ll be moaning tonight?

( one attachment ).

your heartbeat thunders in your ears, familiar warm pooling between your legs yet again as you open the image— knowing that there can be only one person that it’s from. a quiet moan slips past your lips as the picture loads to reveal bakugou in your very same black lace panties from earlier— the slick from your release pressed up against his barely covered cock, while he jerks himself off, precum oozing from his blistering red tip.

you exhale, typing back your name and hitting send— thanking whatever higher power that lead katsuki bakugou to steal your fucking panties.

[yandere-daze]

HI OH MYG GOSH GOOD DAY DAZE!!!! its been awhile since ive last checked on tumblr KSJSN but im on the app rn and yes!! the character limit doesnt apply here sooo.. now that i can type in everything i wanted to say, i hope u dont mind me rambling for a bit!

first of all, tysm for answering the df ask!! ive taken in all of the newfound knowledge + the fact rhat. that. that they have sm potential now that im thinking about them again. they literally pop up in my head in the most random times????? me just minding my business doing hw and then suddenly theres a non-existent voice in my mind just chanting “double face partners in crime” over and over again LMAO

i really enjoy the thought of them having little competitions and a rivalry to win reader over except its just one-sided for kohaku 💀 madara patting him on the back like “sure bud lets do this!” with his signature mama aura. i can just imagine him being like (✿^‿^) and kohaku just giving him the most dead face ever in response while getting a body bag out IM SOBBING THEYRE SO SILLYJDJFHH

ALSO !!!!! STIPPLING !!!! BANGER SONG!! i agree kohaku sounds really good in it like,, his vocals are godly i love him so much </3 i listen to the song while studying a lot!! its really calming and genuinely one of my fav enstars songs huhu (+ i almost fell asleep to it and accidentally dropped my phone on my face AKJSJS)

anyways moving onto the next thing i wanted to talk abt, i recently started twst >:D i wasnt really that interested in it prior stumbling upon ur blog but i recently finished binging on ur enstars stuff and i wanted to read more of ur writing sooo.. i ended up checking ur twst works >_< i was actually p aware that u wrote abt it awhile back when u still had ur old layout but i only ended up checking them out now JSJDN eventually i fell into the rabbit hole of mentally-unwell-pretty-boys-who need-a-therapist and now im stuck and im not sure what i should feel abt it /lh

everytime lilia appears on screen all i can think of is why theres a war criminal here. enstars has a chokehold on me like the first thing i thought when i saw riddle was KASA????? THE HANAE NATSUKIFICATION OF TSUKASA SUOU???

but im enjoying the game so far!! i really wanted to punt ace to the moon at first but now he is my little meow meow. i will put him in a blender (affectionate)

other than that, i hope ur doing well!! make sure to rest up and drink lots of water. have a nice day! ^^

🍡 anon

HEYHEY! Great to hear from you again, 🍡 anon! So it looks like the mystery of anons breaking through the character limit has been solved? I don´t really understand why you´re able to type an unlimited amount in the app but you´re so restricted on desktop. It makes zero sense to me but at least we know now? I´ve almost always sent in asks through the tumblr app so I wasn´t even aware of a character limit until you told me jkflef

And you´re right, they really do have so much potential and I´m so happy you enjoyed my little rambles!! Lmao the grip they have on you is immense, run while you still can! This is only the first step for them to have you all to themselves!!1!

The one-sided rivalry, I´m crying💀 Kohaku is so serious about this too and Madara is just like "yeah you go kid, slay!" And him grabbing a body bag while they´re having this conversation took me out. Like that was just so casual I can´t snflsfbl No but literally I feel so giddy reading and responding to these asks but I always feel so formal because writing a lot makes me want to keep the correct grammar and stuff so i´m worried that i come over as...stiff or something which I definitely don´t want!😭 I´m just a silly little guy happily typing away on my keyboard!

STIPPLING YES! THE BEST SONG OF ALL TIME; CHANGE MY MIND! Kohaku really does sound so lovely in this song, there´s a reason why I put this song in the highest tier when I was ranking all the enstars songs that one time! I even put it as the very first song even though I didn´t really rank them within the tier or anything like that. But the song deserved it <3

Also does anyone else feel like the song is really short when playing enstars music? Or is that just me? I know looking at the actual time of the mv that it´s a normal length of a song but I SWEAR it feels so short when I´m playing it. It´s over so quickly!

And omg you started twst? And you were interested because of my stories?? WAHHH I´m so flattered, really!😭😳 I´m always so giddy whenever someone says that I managed to drag them into one of the two fandoms like...good! *rubs my grubby little hands together as my evil masterplan comes to fruition*

Mentally ill pretty boys is definitely a shared concept between the both games jflsjnlf i hope you´re enjoying your time so far though!

Lilia truly is a war criminal, it´s true! Also funny that you´re saying this about Tsukasa, I actually had the reverse thing kind of happen to me. As you can probably tell from both my old and my new profile pic ( and also my old header picture sfl) I really like Riddle! And I started playing twst before I got introduced to enstars by a friend so when I looked at Tsukasa I definitely went "omg he kind of looks like riddle. YOu guys have the same hair!!". It´s no surprise that both of them have me in a choke-hold now. Do I have a thing for redheads? Maybe so skfslbf

I relate so hard to that Ace thing tho. Like the first time you meet him in the prologue and he mocks you for not knowing the great seven and everything I wanted to punch him! And I mean he kind of still is an asshole but now he´s *our* asshole, you know? He´s definitely grown on me as the story went on!

Man I feel like I´ve written such a long response, I´m sorry jnlf

Also new drinking game : take a shot every time I write "definitely" because I´m noticing a certain tendency here

( Please don´t do this actually )

[insufferablelust]

butterfly blurbs? maybe that's nor what you want but spencer getting jealous bc he finds out butterfly spends some time with one of his closest man but butterfly only wanted him to show her how to shoot so she could impress spencer?

Warnings ; smut, The use of ‘sir’ & ‘daddy’, Jealousy, overstimulation, Squirting, Tiny bit of degradation mainly by name calling, Possessiveness, Its.. um Filthy as many of you already know. Oh there’re fluffs like cute fluffs in the end, mention of sub/little space too. Please read at your own discretion. Set before chapter 2A of Lb!Au

MASTERLIST HERE.

gif credit to @imagining-in-the-margins thank you!

Being the don of the most powerful mafia chain around the country requires Spencer to have guards everywhere he goes, and those men are always there to protect you too. There are 4 of them; Your favorite is Morgan, the friendliest and warmest of them all, but definitely the flirtiest— in more than one occasion, Spencer had to threaten his gurard, or more like his best pal to stop looking at you the wrong way, then there’s Hotch, which is the lead command of his men, the one who controls the way around, his right hand almost, He doesn’t talk a lot you reckoned, though you rarely see him. There’s Alvez, whom you are second closest to, he’s pretty funny at times and definitely warm, and the last one is Simmons though you only met him in several occasions, seeing how he was always the one that Spencer commands to run his ‘business’ outside of town.

The 4 of them are all loyal to the don and the famiglia, has been since many generations of fathers and their fathers. When you came into the picture, you didn’t expect that someone is going to be guarding you every time you go outside or to leave for work or study— but Spencer insisted one of his men will always be assigned to watch over you, seeing that the threats of being closer to him might bring you harm. They’re always close by but not super close where you might feel stalked or ‘guarded’

It was nice to have someone to look after you, and the man he always choose to be close by you is none other than Morgan, your favorite out of all of them, you knew why Spencer insisted that Morgan was the one who will tend to your every need (security wise) even going as far as renting him an apartment suite not far from where yours are, just incase.

You grew close to Morgan, practically seeing him as your older brother, on nights where Spencer might not coming back to your place because of his ‘unexpected’ business, you always asked Morgan to accompany you play board games or watch something on your half functioning TV, or to just simply be there to have a chat with you. He’s nice and he makes you feel like you knew Spencer, told you small things about your boyf— sugar daddy. Now knowing that Morgan knows a lot, practically everything about the don, young Y/N just wanted to impress him— cause he had been so good to her all week, so so good, taking care of her and spoil her to the limits. So she asks Morgan on what could impress the infamous don of the country.

Y/N couldn’t lie that when she heard Morgan proposed the idea of shooting, that excitement would run through her veins like something has been injected— she has seen Spencer shoot his gun once or twice, she knew he could kill someone so so easily without batting an eyelash, he injured a guy whom looked at her the wrong way once for fuck’s sake. So the idea was enough to make her all giddy and say, “Please Morgan! teach me!” which he couldn’t help but to say yes, now he knows the protocols, knows how his best friend is so he didn’t worry about him having any sorts of problems with him teaching her but what he didn’t expect was, Spencer Reid might have a deeper feeling towards the tiny butterfly.

—

Hey daddy,

i’m going to spend some time with Morgan today, i hope you don’t mind if i don’t send an update so frequently but i’ll try okay? be safe, Mwah!

Spencer tried to calm down from his sudden bubbling anger that rose inside his chest, the voicemail had been left on his brick phone two hours prior and she still hasn’t responded yet. Being away from her is torture from him, he wanted so so badly to bring her here whilst he has business to deal with in Chicago— but he knew it’d be dangerous.

Though, hearing her heavenly voice sets his chest aflame with combined mixture of Jealousy and Longing, longing for her— missing her to the core and wanting so so bad to show her that she’s his and his only. Spencer knows he’s being irrational but he couldn’t help to think that his little Butterfly is spending too much— an awful amount of time with her bodyguard, his most trusted man amongst others.

With a lit of his cigarette and ruffle of his hair, Spencer made a quick call to Hotch to prepare for leaving, cause he’s going back home— for her.

-

She didn’t expect this when she came home from her practice that night, she didn’t expect him to be here so so early. a day early from his supposed come back schedule. Here he was, sitting on a chair in the dark corner of your bedroom with his thighs spread, and his fingers interlaced with each other, and a glass of wine sitting atop of the bed side table.

“D-Daddy.. i thought you won’t be home until—“ you started yet immediately cut off by the sound of his voice shushing you, “Shh, Come here. Sit on my lap.” He demonstrated by patting his thighs so you know not to fuck with him, not to act up. You muttered a small “yes daddy” before setting down your purse and padded towards where he is, about to straddle his lap before he let out a disappointment-like sigh then turns you around so you’re sitting down on his lap with your back against his front and his hand wrapped snuggly around your throat.

Oh whatever you’ve done must be terrible, and you would be lying to say that it doesn’t excites you one bit cause it certainly does.

“You look pretty tonight, butterfly.” He whispered softly against your ear as his other hand slithered their way around her waist to wrap them tightly so she’d have nowhere to go, “T-Thank you daddy.” She muttered, feeling so small all of a sudden, not knowing what she has done wrong and what should she say to make it better.

“Daddy i—“

“Y’know your daddy is a busy man, don’t you, bunny?” His voice tsk’d you, making you squirm on his lap, as his palm slithered down down down between your legs and rub toward your inner thighs. “Yes daddy..” You muttered, only gasping momentarily as his fingers slip inside your legging and let it rest on top of where your panties beginning to dampen.

“And yet here you are, making daddy cancel his plans just to come back and remind you.” His voice gets a little rougher now as he slaps your cunt softly, a warning perhaps so you’d stay still and listen to him. You let out a confused yet pleasure filled mewls as he slap your by-now swollen and sensitive covered pearl several times, “Daddy! please i-i don’t know what you mean.. oh!”

“D’you know who’s this cunt belongs to?” He whispered roughly before biting on the shell of her ear where she arched her back when he pressed his palm— grazing against her clit side to side, “Y-You! it belongs to you! mmh!” Your moans are cut out by the tightening grip of his hand on your throat as he snap the waistband of your panties before tearing the whole thing with your leggings down your legs.

“And who’s this body belongs to hm? who do you fuckin belongs to, butterfly?” His thumb made a quick work over your sensitive button as he rub it all fast and rough, causing you to squirm and let out spews of moans and screams at the feeling of pleasure. Somewhere alongside the pleasure, your brain was able to make a sense of why he’s here, and you can’t help but to feel all the butterflies that swarmed on your belly.

The don is jealous over his best friend.

“Daddy i— oh! i— Morgan was only helping me!” She tried to blurted out, as his thumb quicken its pace on her clit, up and down, side to side whilst his other hands played with her swollen shirt covered nipples, all sensitive and reactive to his sinful touches. Spencer lets out a growl, “Helpin you with what hm? is it that important that he has to take you way from me?”

Butterflies, your heart warmed.

“He— oh god.. i w-wanted to oh! learn how to shoot so i ask him.. mmh fuck daddy! ask him to help me so you’d be proud of me!” Tears streamed down your face by now, not because of his words but because of how close she is, god the way his fingers slip inside her slit so easily now that she’s wet— drenched, combined with his palm on her clit and her overstimulated nipples causing her to the edge.

“Is that so, princess?” He hummed as he lean back so he could tilt your head back to see your eyes, gleamed under the moonlight and glazed over with needs— “Yes daddy.. i s-swear—oh god i’m going to cum.” Your fingers were gripped tightly onto his wrist as his fingers works even faster and faster— making squelching noises throughout the room.

“Little minx, trying to make me all proud hm? My butterfly is so fucking adorable isnt she?” Spencer was close to coming inside his pants himself, seeing her like this brought him to the fucking heaven but hearing how she wanted to train because she wants him to be proud of her brought him to the fucking edge of orgasm— that he didn’t even care if hes going to cream his pants like a damn teenager.

“Yes yes yes daddy! just for you! please let me cum!”

with a hard and quick thrust of his fingers inside you, he mumbled deeply and breathlessly, “Cum now, pup. Show everyone that you’re fucking mine, cum for daddy— thats fucking it.” He growled and growled, as you let an earth shattering scream which you had no doubt that your neighbors would be able to hear it, before squirting all over his hand, his suit, everything.

“Thank you oh! daddy thank you!” You sobbed and trembled as you both coming down from your highs, Spencer presses small kisses all along the side of your face. “Good girl, ‘m so proud of you, my little butterfly. Gonna show me tomorrow what y’learned okay?” He mumbled gently as you weakly turned around to give him a kiss.

“Yes daddy, welcome home.”

—

LITTLE BUTTERFLY TAGLIST;

@bloodstainedsarsaparilla​ @drabigailreidblog​ @mgg-theprettiestboy​ @vanessagub​ @reidsconverse​ @maybankslut​ @pastathighs​ @geniusgub @90spumkin​ @trina2323​ @70sreid @blxckhearthood​ @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian​ @baby-pogue​ @sluttytears​ @187-reid @gubler2323 @flawlesslyexecuted @iamgonnaleaveroach @libidinexx @reidsbbg @dancestargia @agentadhd

{Message or comment if you wanna be tagged or removed! thank you for your support}

[justonecitizenoftheearth]

Destiel Secret Santa gift

Hej @notfunnydean ! This is your not-secret-anymore Santa from the @destielsecretsanta2020. I hope you like my story and merry Christmas!

Rating: T

Tags: case fic, fluff, even more fluff, a brief flicker of angst, Dean and Cas finally using their words, getting together for real, Sam is exasperated, Eileen is too

The Hunt before Christmas

Dean hummed a Christmas carol as he entered the kitchen. It was the 21st of December and the first year. The first year without a case, without an impending apocalypse, without grief weighing so heavy on his shoulders he thought he would suffocate. The first year to celebrate Christmas with his extended family. He smiled, gratefully and contentedly.

Sam sat at the table; a cup of coffee in one hand and the other on the keyboard of his laptop. Eileen stood behind him and had her arms wrapped around his neck. As Dean passed them by on his way to the coffee maker, he saw that they were browsing the same property agency´s site as the day before. Eileen pointed at a house and Sam clicked to read the details, both smiling softly and a little unbelieving.

Dean took a pan and started to make bacon and eggs, softly humming Metallica as he did so. When he turned around again, Cas stood beside Sam and signed a good morning to Eileen. A shiver ran through Dean as he saw the former angel so relaxed, in a T-Shirt and Sweatpants, a small smile on his face as he commented on the houses they were looking at. After he had pulled Castiel out of the empty, making him human in the process, he had told him that he loved him, too. He had pressed his lips to Cas´ in a desperate kiss and held him so tight he´d nearly crushed him. But after that, neither of them had known how to proceed. So, things had been awkward for a bit, neither knowing how to initiate another kiss or, god forbid, a conversation. They had continued mostly as before, maybe standing a bit closer to each other, hands brushing more often. Sometimes, when he felt brave, Dean pulled Castiel into a short hug when they were the last ones to go to bed after a movie night, or he´d ruffle his hair as he passed by in the morning. But Dean didn´t stay in range long enough for Cas to reciprocate, still too afraid of wanting too much, still too on edge about coming to terms with wanting Castiel to touch him. He stayed close, but not too close. With all the change happening, the pressure and purpose gone after god´s defeat, it was all he could handle.

Cas´ gaze met Dean´s across the room and the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes deepened as he smiled at him. Dean had to hold onto the counter as the realization that Castiel loved him back hit him again, overwhelming, and scary, and euphoric. He cleared his throat.

“Cas, can you tell Jack that breakfast is ready?”

“Of course, Dean.”

Dean´s eyes followed Castiel as he left the kitchen and avoided the half annoyed, half pitying look that Sam gave him. He turned around to get plates and glasses for orange juice.

 ***

 The five of them were almost done with their breakfast as an alarm went off on Sam´s laptop. He frowned and scanned the page. His frown deepened and Dean set down his fork. He´d seen that expression a thousand times and a giddy, exited part of him made way for resignation. Some things would never change and getting rid of god would not rid the world of monsters. Maybe it was time to leave the actual hunting to someone else, but not quite yet.

“What´s up, Sammy?”

“Several cases of murders in Manitowoc, Wisconsin. Apparently, four people have disappeared on their way home from different festivities. Two have been found later, with severe wounds, but it´s not clear what caused these.”

“Hearts missing?”

“Don´t know, it´s not in the report.”

Dean sighed. “I´m gonna check it out.”

Sam closed his laptop, nodding. “We´ll leave in 15?”

“No, I´m going alone. You lot stay here and prepare the bunker for Christmas. If I don´t have a sock and a Christmas tree and eggnog and cookies ready when I come home, I´ll be your personal spirit of Christmas Yet to come and kick your ass.”

Sam grinned, but opened his mouth to argue. Cas was faster.

“I´ll come with you.”

Dean shuddered at the familiar words. The last time he´d heard them was the day he´d lost Cas to the empty. What if something happened? It seemed like an easy hunt, but what if something went wrong? He couldn´t lose Cas again, and now he was human and could get hurt or sick or ki…

“I think that´s a good idea.” Eileen seemed serious, but her eyes sparkled. “You can handle the hunt together and Sam, Jack and I will handle the Christmas decorations.”

Dean stared at her, then at Cas. “No, it´s fine, I can handle it alone, no big deal.”

“Dean, that´s bullshit. You two go on that hunt and be back in a few days, and if you can´t make it for Christmas, you won´t be alone. It´s a good plan, don´t be a jerk.”

“Who are you calling a jerk, bitch?”

Both brothers grinned at the familiarity of the bickering, then Dean turned towards Cas.

“You really want to come with me?”

Castiel rolled his eyes. “Yes, of course I do, Dean. I think I was pretty clear about that by now.”

Dean swallowed and nodded, ignoring that this was the closest they had come to actually talking about their, well, not-quite relationship.

“Well then, we leave in 30. Pack warm clothes, it´ll be cold in Wisconsin.”

 ***

 “Did you not want me to come with you?”

Castiel´s blue eyes were so clear they seemed translucent, and Dean nearly drove them into a ditch as he lost himself in their openness yet again.

“Jesus, Cas. Of course I want you to come with me. I always do.”

Dean bit his tongue as the words slipped free. Awesome. Two hours into being alone with Cas and he already lost control over his mouth. This was going to be a long hunt. But the happy smile on Cas´ face when Dean dared to look at him again was totally worth it.

 ***

 They arrived at the motel late at night. Slight snowfall and bitter cold greeted them as they left the car and Dean slipped on the icy ground as he made his way to the reception. Cas caught his arm and pulled him up again and for a second, they were so close that Dean stopped breathing. But Cas just smiled, asked if he was okay and took a step back when he was sure that Dean was steady again. He then walked up to the motel, his trench coat flapping behind him, snowflakes getting caught in his hair, and Dean could just stare dumbly, until a gust of wind reminded him that he was standing outside in the snowfall as well.

Dean hurried to catch up and they booked a room with two queens, at the far end of the motel. Dean went to get the bags while Cas went to check the room. They salted the windowsills and the threshold and Dean checked the news while Cas went to get dinner. While he was waiting, Dean checked the address of the next police department, the morgue and the names and addresses of the victim´s families. It was such a well-known routine that it calmed him a bit after the long drive and the constant flutter in his stomach that being close to Cas always caused.

Castiel returned and they shared pizza and beer while Dean explained their plan for the next day:

“We´ll get into our fed suits and check out the police department and the morgue. Also, we´ll check online and in the local bars if there are any parties planned tomorrow, if so, we´ll stay close and try to catch the thing, whatever it is, when it´s trying to attack again. We´ll salt and burn it, or behead it, or stab it, or whatever, and be home for Christmas.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

For a moment, they were both silent, munching on their pizza. But it was a comfortable silence and Dean relaxed into it. He heard the wind howling around the corners of the house and in the light of a lantern outside, he watched the snow fall. He smiled faintly. It could be worse.

“Do you like Christmas?” asked Cas.

Dean had to think about it and Castiel didn´t press, he just waited and scrolled a bit further on their news page.

Finally, Dean answered: “You know, we didn´t celebrate Christmas very often. When I was a kid, my dad wasn´t always there on Christmas. But the few times that we actually did celebrate were quite nice. When I was twelve, Sam gave me the necklace as a present. You know, the one that I gave to you when you”, he stopped there, suddenly remembering the purpose of the necklace.

“The one that can find god, I remember.” Cas just smiled; no tension suggested that the memory bothered him.

“Yeah, exactly, that one. Actually, that Christmas was pretty shitty, dad never showed up, I had to tell Sam the first bit about monsters being real, he was disappointed and cried the whole night before that… I actually stole a few presents, just so I had something to give to him, but they turned out to be girl stuff. He wasn´t happy.” Dean laughed and scratched his neck. “But I kept the necklace anyways.”

“I´m sorry it was like that. It wasn´t right, you two deserved someone to be there with you. You didn´t deserve the burden to be a parent to your brother.”

“Yeah, well”, Dean wanted to shrug it off, but again, his mouth had other plans. “I remember a bit of what Christmas was before, you know. Before our mom died. Nothing specific, just bits and pieces. A feeling of warmth and lights everywhere and just the general happiness that related to Christmas. I tried to give that to Sam later, but I was a kid and motel rooms aren´t made to be cozy and festive.” Dean gestured around him with a grin and Cas chuckled. Dean wanted to leave it at that, but again, he couldn´t.

“We had that one nice Christmas, even in a motel room. That was 2007, before… well, before I went to hell. Sam and I had a case and I wanted to celebrate, I mean, I thought it´d be the last time, you know. He didn´t want to at first, but in the end, we had a pretty decent evening. Eggnog and decorations and gifts and a game on TV. It was nice. Not as nice as Christmas with Mrs. Butters though.” Now both of them were laughing when they remembered the wood nymph, and the laughter left a warm feeling in Dean´s belly, that felt a little bit like Christmas, too. He grinned at Cas and the former angel grinned back, eyes sparkling and teeth showing, and Dean wanted to kiss him so badly it nearly hurt. But he didn´t dare to. But he lifted his hand and squeezed Cas´ shoulder before he leaned back and stretched his arms over his head.

“Let´s get ready for bed. Who knows how much sleep we´ll be able to catch tomorrow.” Castiel nodded, but as Dean got up to go to the bathroom to change, he caught his hand and held on. “This Christmas will be a nice one. And the next one, too. No more motel rooms or hunts or heartbreak. You still deserve that, Dean.” The hunter could only nod, the lump in his throat too big to talk.

Later, when they were lying in bed, Dean expected his thoughts to race and to keep him up for an eternity. But the sound of the calm, even breaths from the bed next to his lulled him to sleep faster than whisky had ever managed.

 ***

 The police were very eager to help detectives “Hammet” and “Burton” and handed them the files without a second glance at their IDs. They also gave them the address to the morgue, where another helpful pathologist showed them to the victims and then left them to it. The monster obviously didn´t have a type, one of the victims was a woman in her forties who had come back from a working dinner that had taken longer and included more cocktails than expected. Another one was a seventeen-year-old boy who had come home from a LAN party in the early morning hours (there were obviously still people who did that). The other two had been a businessman who had been passing through this town and had spent his evening in the local bar, and a woman in her late twenties who had been born here and had been on a party at a friend´s house. They apparently had nothing in common except for the fact that they all had been at some kind of party before they died.

Dean checked their bodies and there were no hearts missing and the blood seemed to fit the wounds. There were bite marks, but it didn´t look like the attacker had killed them to eat the victims, there were no chunks of flesh missing. The teeth marks looked human, same size and same tooth marks. That was indeed strange, and he stayed silent, lost in his thoughts, while Cas and he ate lunch in the car. They turned up the heating and the radio and Castiel watched the people on the street, buying Christmas presents and decorations, sharing sweets, laughing and talking. Couples, parents with their kids and some people who roamed the streets alone, stopping every few steps to admire the shop windows. It was normal, and peaceful, and he suddenly felt a longing for a life like this, without the threat of injury and death looming over every job they took, without having to be ready to fight at all times, just the everyday worries of ordinary people. It was so strong he forgot to breathe for a second.

“Cas? Cas, are you okay?”

Castiel turned around and met Dean´s confused and worried eyes. His tone implied that he had been trying to get the former angel´s attention for some time.

“Yeah, I´m fine. I just … I just thought that it´d be nice to have a life like that.” Cas waved his hand in the general direction of the people outside the car. Then he huffed out a humorless laugh. “But I wouldn´t even know how that works. I don´t know anything besides … how to be a soldier. How to be violent. I don´t – “, Dean took his hand and cut short the self-deprecating monologue. “Cas, neither do I. But we will figure it out, okay? We´ll find something. Let´s just finish this job and then we´ll think about it.” Castiel just nodded mutely, his attention completely bound by “We will figure it out”, and Dean´s warm fingers wrapped around his own. Dean smiled and started the car, but after he pulled out of his parking spot, his hand found Cas´ again. Their fingers entwined, slowly, carefully, and Cas thought he could feel Dean´s racing pulse through his skin. But neither of them pulled away, their hands settled on the leather between them and when he glanced sideways, Cas saw that Dean smiled softly at the road ahead. Castiel leaned back and thought that he´d never been happier than here and now, driving down the snowy road, his thumb circling over Dean´s skin, the low hum of the Impala mixing with the sweet words of an Elvis song on the radio.

 ***

 Questioning the relatives and colleagues of the victims didn´t provide them with any more leads on what kind of creature they had to deal with, or what the victims had in common, so they returned to the motel room and called Sam. The zoom call got accepted and they had a view of the war room. Fairy lights were wrapped around the handrail at the stairs and the columns in the room. Sam was breathing heavily, and he had fir needles in his hair, but his eyes were sparkling. “Hey guys, how´s it going? What are you up against?”

“Better question, what are you up against? And more importantly, will that fight with the forest spirits you´re apparently in finally make you cut your damn hair?”

Dean grinned and Sam rolled his eyes fondly. “No, jerk, I just carried the Christmas tree inside. You know, because someone threatened me with becoming the spirit of Christmas yet to come.”

Cas tilted his head, his forehead creased in worry. “But would you becoming a spirit not require you to die?”

Dean snorted. “Dude, no. It´s, uh, it´s a book reference. ´A Christmas Carol´. I thought Metatron uploaded all culture in your head?”

“Yeah, but my human brain can´t hold all of that information.”

“Oh. Yeah, I get that.” Dean rubbed his neck awkwardly. “I mean, it´s a movie, too, maybe we could watch it together?”

“Yes, I´d like that, Dean.”

They smiled at each other, until Sam cleared his throat and shook his head in exasperation. Dean filled him in on their case and the lack of specific details on the kind of monster they were up against. Sam thought about it for a while and asked more questions, but he didn´t come up with a clear answer either.

“I guess your best chance is to find out where the next party and/or festivity takes place and go from there. Take a little bit of everything; salt, iron, silver, holy water, maybe even dead man´s blood, and see what happens. I think you should be able to handle it. I´m gonna do some research, maybe I´ll find something.” Sam looked at someone behind the screen and signed: “Dean and Cas. I´m gonna explain later.”

Dean smiled softly. “Do some research if you want, but I think we´ve got it. Have a good time and say hello to Eileen and Jack.”

Sam nodded, but his smile faded. “Be careful.”

“Yeah, we will.” Dean grinned. “It´s not like I´m gonna throw myself on a rusty nail and really become the spirit of Christmas. And all those sons of bitches should know better than pissing me off.”

Sam snorted. “Sure, whatever.”

A moment before Sam ended the call, Jack entered the frame with his hands full of Christmas tree decorations and fairy lights wrapped around his shoulders.

“Sam, where do these g-“

Dean and Castiel chuckled at the black screen. Then Dean stretched and smiled softly at the snow that had started to fall outside the window again. “How about we find out where we can attend a party tonight and then we´ll actually watch ´A Christmas Carol´, whaddaya say?”

Cas smiled widely. “That sounds good.”

It didn´t take long to find out that there was a “Yule Party” at the bar in town, to celebrate the Winter Solstice. They didn´t need a ticket and could just show up, which gave them not much to do for the next few hours. Dean went and got pizza and some weird stuff named “Glögg”, which turned out to be pretty sweet, but good nonetheless.

Dean and Castiel settled on one bed and put the laptop up on the lower end. They had pizza and Glögg on their nightstands and were sitting so close that their shoulders and thighs were touching, but it was comfortable and familiar. The movie was up and when they finished eating, their hands inched closer. Dean´s heart was racing, a part of him wanted to draw back, but it had been so freeing to hold Cas´ hand in the car that he couldn´t make himself. Instead, he held his breath and took a leap again, wrapping his fingers around Castiel´s, who immediately relaxed. Dean closed his eyes for a moment and let out a long sigh, his attention bound by the warmth of Cas´ body beside him and his strong, solid hand in his. The former angel moved a bit up again, tensed, and then, as if he´d made up his mind, he let his head sink lower and laid it on Dean´s shoulder. A soft smile spread over the hunter´s face and he rested his cheek on top of Castiel´s head. His soft hair smelled of the shampoo that they shared and tickled a bit at his ear, but he didn´t move away and neither did Cas.

The movie played with low sound. the light was dim as it grew dark outside and the wind picked up again and threw snowflakes at the window. Castiel´s thumb drew soft patterns on Dean´s skin. It was heaven on earth.

Both of them dozed for a while, content in their warm bubble of happiness, but it got late and they still had a party to attend. With a sigh, Dean opened his eyes and looked down at their intertwined hands. Before he could chicken out, he pressed a lingering kiss on Cas´ head. Castiel´s grip tightened, and Dean heard his shuddering inhale, but he didn´t move for another few seconds. Finally, he murmured in the other man´s hair:

“We have to get up. We still have to go to this party.”

Cas voice was quiet as he answered: “I know. But I´d rather stay here with you.”

Dean lifted his head and Cas looked up. Dean got lost in these blue, clear eyes he´d spent so many hours daydreaming about.

“Yeah, me too.”

They held each other´s gaze for long seconds. Dean saw Castiel´s eyes widen in wonder at his words and then flicker down at his lips for a brief moment before they met his again. And suddenly, he didn´t know anymore why they had continued to dance around each other even after everything was already in the open. He loved Cas. And Cas loved him. And they both knew it. There was no reason to hide anymore. So Dean lifted Cas´ head with a hand and closed the distance between them, heart beating out of his chest. Castiel held his breath as their lips brushed against each other, soft as flower petals. The brief contact sent a shiver through Dean´s whole body. This wasn´t born of desperation as their last kiss. This was just made of love. And finally, their mouths locked together.

All air left Cas´ body in a long sigh as he finally felt Dean´s lips against his own. Their mouths started to move against each other, cautiously, but not rushed, not hurried. The first time that Dean´s tongue flicked against his lips, Castiel thought that his newly gained soul was about to leave his body. He arched towards Dean´s body and pulled his head close with one hand and kissed him at if he was drowning and Dean was his saving breath. Which he was. Dean groaned and pushed his tongue inside of Cas´ mouth and groaned again when the former angel started sucking on it. Suddenly, Cas was laying on his back, pressed into the mattress by the weight of Dean on top of him and Dean held himself up on one elbow and started to push Castiel´s sweatshirt up with the other one and suddenly they froze. Both men were breathing heavily, faces only inches apart, flushed, wide eyed, and neither had ever felt more alive.

“Now I really don´t want to go.”

Cas shuddered as he heard Dean´s voice so rough and low, desire obvious in his shaded eyes. He nearly said: “Then we won´t”, his whole body going hot as he imagined what would follow, but then the torn bodies of the victims flashed before his eyes. They couldn´t risk it.

“Neither do I. But ... lives are on the line.”

Dean sighed deeply. “I know. Let´s go.”

They got up, changed, and sorted out the weapons they were going to hide in their clothes. All the while, they shared glances, blushing and giddy. Cas had his hand already on the door handle when Dean gripped his hand and held him back.

“Cas, I”, the hunter bit his lip, but in the end, it was easier than he thought.

“I don´t want to hide anymore. I don´t want to pretend this didn´t happen. I – I want you. I want to be with you, for real.”

“Oh Dean.” Castiel turned to cup Dean´s cheek. “I wanted you since I pulled you out of hell. And I won´t stop wanting you, even when the last fiber of my being turns into dust and vanishes from this earth.”

He laid his forehead against the hunter´s. “I love you, Dean Winchester. And I want to be with you in every sense of the word.”

And it wasn´t harder than taking the first breath of fresh air after a long time underground when Dean answered. “I love you, too.”

It was Castiel who closed the distance between them and kissed Dean this time. Then he smiled more vibrant than Dean had ever seen.

“Let´s finish this hunt and go home.”

When they walked up to the Impala, they were holding hands.

  ***

 The bar was full and loud and cheerful, and Dean enjoyed it more than he´d have thought. He held hands with Cas and ignored all dark looks about it. He drank three different kinds of beers and stopped then, before he got drunk. He played a round of pool just for the fun of it. He sat so close to Cas that their bodies touched and reveled in the glowing eyes and the easy smile of his – well, boyfriend.

They were sitting on the far end of the bar, with the wall in their back and the exit in sight. Cas´ fingers played with Dean´s and sent pleasant shivers down his spine. It reminded him a bit of the day they thought they´d die and he had taken Cas to that night club to get him laid. This night, he´d take Cas home. Well, he´d taken him home that night too, but now was different. Maybe they´d even sleep in the same bed. Maybe they´d… Cas´ voice interrupted Dean´s train of thought.

“Are you happy?”

The sentence took a moment to sink in, but then a broad smile spread on the hunter´s face.  “Yeah. I really am.”

Cas squeezed his hand briefly. “I am too.”

For a moment they just looked at each other. Happy. Together. Finally. A nagging feeling filled Dean and he frowned. When were they ever allowed to be happy? The last time…

Castiel felt the change in mood. “What is it, Dean?”

“I don´t know, I”, Dean lowered his eyes. “I don´t want to lose this”, he whispered.

A gentle hand lifted his chin again. “You won´t. Everything will be fine.”

They held each other’s gaze, a thousand words said without a sound. But the mood in the room changed, a lot of people got up and were ready to go. Dean sighed and leaned back, only now realizing how close they had been. “The sooner we wrap this up, the sooner we´re out of here.”

Dean threw a bundle of dollars on the bar and they left, too. Outside the pub, they were met with icy wind. The snow scrunched under their feet. Dean shuddered and buried his hands in his jacket.

“Okay, what now? Should we go together or split up?”

“I think all of the victims have been alone, so it will probably be more effective if we split up.”

Dean nodded, swallowing the bad feeling he had. Cas was experienced. He´d fought more battles than Dean could even imagine. He´d be fine.

“Right. I´ll go down that alley, you go up towards the motel, we meet up there in three hours if nothing happens.”

Cas nodded briefly, but before he went, he pulled Dean close and kissed him once again, sweet and slow.

“See you later.”

Dean swallowed and blinked rapidly. When he´d regained his balance, Cas was already on the way. The hunter turned around, the feeling of Castiel´s lips still tingling on his.

It didn´t go smooth. It didn´t take long, either. Barely twenty minutes had passed when Dean heard a silent scream of terror in the distance, from the direction in which Cas had gone. It hadn´t been Cas´ voice, but the former angel would get there much sooner that he could and suddenly, his heart was in his throat. Dean took off, skittering over the snowy streets, smashing into walls, but he didn´t slow down. He heard a gunshot and some shouting only two streets away, running even faster, lungs burning, and stumbled around the corner just in time to see Cas getting thrown into a wall and sliding down. Unmoving. Lifeless.

For a second, the whole world stopped. Dean stared at the crumpled figure and a part of him laughed humorlessly. “I knew it. I won´t ever get to keep what I have. I destroy every good thing in my life,” whispered a voice from the darkest place in his mind. “No!” It took Dean a moment to realize he´d screamed the last word. This wasn´t supposed to happen! They were supposed to be happy; they were supposed to be free, they … Then his gaze turned towards the dark figure that had thrown Cas through the air like a rag doll. And his vision turned red.

He emptied his magazine into the body of the creature. It wailed, but still moved, so Dean took his silver and iron knifes and jumped into close combat. He sliced and stabbed and hit and kicked and he would rip this thing apart with his bare hands if he needed to, but it would curse the day it had taken Castiel away from him again. Dean didn´t feel the claws of the monster on his skin and the smell of the blood dripping from his face and he didn´t realize that his attacks were in vain. He just wanted it to suffer like he did.

Something wrapped their arms around his chest from behind and pulled him back. Dean panicked and tried to cut himself free, but then a very familiar voice shouted in his ear: “Dean, stop! This doesn´t work, stop!” Dean went slack and let himself be pulled away; all fight left him in an instant. He lived! Castiel lived! The creature hissed at him, glowing eyes staring at them for a moment before it vanished into the darkness.

Cas let go and spun Dean around, eyes skimming over his face and body to check for injuries. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Dean opened his mouth to answer and started crying.

Castiel wrapped him in a tight embrace and whispered wonderful, gentle words into his hair. Dean clung to him as if his life depended on it, sobbing into his neck and it took a long time before he realized that he repeated the words “you´re alive, you´re alive” again and again, and even then, it took a long time for him to stop. Slowly, his tears subsided and he felt slightly embarrassed, but not enough to let go. Castiel seemed to be happy to hold him. However, Dean started to feel his body tremble and his arms and chest burned. He drew back and winced. Castiel looked down at his arms and his eyes widened. “You are hurt!”

“It´s nothing. But you, I thought you – you weren´t moving and I” Dean hid his face in his hands. “Dammit, one might think I´d be used to this after a lifetime of hunting. Son of a bitch!”

Cas  squeezed his shoulder. “It´s okay. It´s different now, I know. Please let us go back so I can take care of you.”

“But what about you? Are you okay?”

Castiel simply shrugged. “I´m a bit sore and my head hurts, but it´s not bleeding and I´ll be fine. I was mostly disoriented, and then you came and before I knew it, you tried to rip that thing to shreds with your bare hands.”

Dean blushed and looked down, but Castiel took his hand and he let his angel lead him home.

 ***

 When they turned on the lights in the motel room, Castiel blanched. He helped Dean take of his torn, bloody jacket and ushered him into the bathroom. He sat Dean down on a chair and ignored all protests when he took a towel and the first aid kit and got to work.

Castiel wiped the blood from Dean´s face with gentle strokes and cleaned his wounds with careful hands. There were several long, deep gashes along Dean´s arms and some on his chest, too. Blood seeped out of them and Dean started to sway as the adrenaline subsided and the blood loss made itself known. Castiel´s eyes were bright with worry and he went out for a moment to snatch some water and a granola bar. He helped Dean lift the glass to his lips and take a bite, again ignoring the weak protest entirely, one steadying hand always on Dean´s shoulder.

“Do you want to lay down while I´m stitching these?”

“We´re gonna ruin the bedsheet.”

“I don´t care.”

“I don´t want to get up.”

Castiel took out the needle and the dental floss. “I´m sorry, I won´t be very good at it.”

“It´s okay.”

Dean closed his eyes and only hissed a few times when Castiel´s clumsy stiches pulled at his skin. Castiel apologized every time. When he was finished, he covered the sutures and wrapped the hunter´s arms and chest in gauze. Then, he  leaned his head against Dean´s knee and stayed there.

Dean got dizzy when he looked down, so he kept his eyes closed, but started to pet Cas´ head with the hand that hurt less.

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Dean tensed up and his eyes flew open, dizzyness be damned.

“What do you-“

“I don´t want to be scared to lose you all the time. I don´t want your blood on my hands and live in the constant fear of something coming and taking you away from me.”

Dean met Castiel´s eyes. They were shining in an astonishing shade of blue, wet with tears.

“I don´t want to hunt anymore. I will come with you, but I do –“

“Neither do I.”

They both stayed silent for a few seconds, the weight of the moment sinking in.

“I don´t know how else to live. But I want to try, because I´ve had enough, too. The world is saved, we are free, we´re no longer under Chuck´s control. Someone else can take care of the monsters now, there are enough hunters out there. Don´t get me wrong, I want to be in touch, I want to help. But I don´t want to fight on the front anymore. I´ve earned that. We´ve earned that.”

Castiel got up and took Dean´s face in his hands. There were still tears on his face, and the crow´s feet around the corners of his eyes wrinkled as he smiled. Dean had never seen him more ethereal, more angelic. More beautiful.

“Yes, we did. We did.”

 Castiel helped Dean up and tried to steady him on his way to the bed without touching his wounds. He got another glass of water and the pain killers, swallowed two himself, made Dean swallow two and got out of his clothes. Dean still got dizzy when he looked down, so Cas took of his shoes and helped him out of his jeans. Dean was tempted to crack a joke about Cas finally undressing him, but the seriousness of the moment asked for silence. They lay down, both in one bed, without question, without talking, Cas behind Dean. He pressed his chest against Dean´s back, one arm under his head, the other wrapped around his waist, careful to avoid the covered injuries. Dean had thought he´d have trouble sleeping the first night in the same bed, but Cas´ closeness was incredibly calming and pulled him under before his brain could come up with even one reason why this was anything but good.

 ***

 It took some time for Castiel to wake up. The first thing that he realized was the source of warmth before him and he pressed closer, a contended sigh on his lips. Hair tickled his nose and he rubbed it against soft skin. He dozed off again for some time, before the events of the night before caught up with him and he tensed. Slowly, Castiel opened his eyes. Deans head rested on his arm, which had gone a bit numb, but he could still feel the warm breaths ghost over his skin. Dean´s body rose and fell gently and suddenly, Cas felt like crying. Out of gratitude that he was allowed to be here and hold Dean in his arms. Out of sadness over the wasted time, over all the tragedy in their lives. Out of happiness. Out of love. He buried his nose in Dean´s neck again. His voice was raw with emotion when he whispered: “I love you so much, Dean Winchester.”

Dean tensed, but before Cas could say anything else, he answered: “I love you, too.”

Castiel let go so Dean could turn around and reveled in the sight of his sleepy eyes and tousled hair.

Dean smiled tiredly and caressed his cheek. “Did you sleep well? Does your head hurt?”

Castiel leaned into Dean´s hand and nearly forgot that he was supposed to answer a question.

“No. Well, it´s throbbing a little bit, but nothing that´d worry me. How are your injuries?”

Dean wanted to dismiss it, but he decided otherwise. “They sting. But I´m not worried either, doesn´t feel hot or infected or something.”

Castiel smiled, grateful for Dean´s honesty. With an insecure gaze, Dean leaned forward and hesitated, before he closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Cas´ in an open-mouthed kiss. Cas melted under his mouth, body pressing closer and lips opening to let his tongue flick out. He was very careful to not put pressure on Dean´s injured chest and arms, but his hands were all over his face and back and Dean felt like floating, time and space and purpose just disappearing, until his whole world had reduced to this room and the warmth and scent of Castiel all around him.

It was a long time later when they pulled back to catch their breath, faces still so close together that they shared the same air. Dean thought he might explode from the magnitude of his feelings swiveling around just under his skin. When he opened his eyes again, the first thing he saw were Cas´ damp, red, parted lips and his heart jumped. Cas´ fingers played in his hair and he was so comfortable that he thought he might just fall back asleep, but his grumbling stomach obviously had other plans. Cas chuckled.

“Time for breakfast?”

Dean huffed. “Yeah. And a call with Sammy.”

“And some more painkillers.”

Dean didn´t argue. They got up and Cas got out to get coffee and breakfast while Dean struggled with his clothes, his injured arms hurting and stinging. With a curse, the hunter swallowed more pills and started his laptop. He dug through some of the databases, but nothing quite fit the profile of the monster. The date at the bottom of the screen seamed to double in size every time he dismissed an idea. The 23d of December. Two days until Christmas. If they didn´t manage to wrap this up soon, he´d have to stay here over the holidays with Cas. It would still be one of, if not the best Christmas of his life, but he´d been looking forward to celebrating with Sam, Jack and Eileen. And maybe visit Jody and the girls. The lock clicked and Dean´s hand flew instinctively towards his gun when Cas entered the room.

“Find something?”

Dean silently shook his head.

Castiel set the coffee and breakfast on the table and kissed the top of Dean´s head.

“We´ll make it for Christmas. Have you called Sam yet? Maybe he knows something?”

“Breakfast first.”

After indulging in coffee, sandwiches, some muffins and comfortable silence, Dean called Sam. It was Eileen who picked up.

“Hey Dean.”

“Hey Eileen. Is Sam around?”

“No, I´m gonna get – are you hurt?”

Her gaze swept over Dean´s gauze-covered arms and the bandages that peeked out from under his T-Shirt.

“Nah, it´s just a scratch.”

Dean´s eyes wandered over to Castiel, who threw Dean an incredulous look.

“What?”

“It´s not just a scratch, Dean.”

“I mean, I´ve had worse. Much worse.”

“That doesn´t mean that you should take this lightly.”

Eileen just grinned and went to the kitchen to get Sam. When they came back, Dean nearly threw himself off his chair with laughter. Sam wore an apron and wiped his hands with a kitchen towel, flour in his hair and dough on his forearms.

“Shut up, jerk!”

“No, forget it, bitch. I´m never gonna let you live this down. Man, you look like Mary Poppins!”

“Mary Poppins was a very wise and gentle…”

“Cas, I know. That doesn´t mean that I won´t tease my brother with it.”

Castiel held his gaze with a pointed look, until Sam cleared his throat.

“Guys, if you just called to insult me and bicker with each other, again, I´m going back to my cookies.”

Dean blushed and opened and closed his mouth a few times. Cas took over.

“We´ve encountered the monster and we can´t figure out what it is.”

Sam got serious immediately. “What happened?” Eileen tapped his shoulder and signed something. Sam´s jaw clenched, and his worried eyes turned towards Dean.

“You are hurt?”

Dean grumbled and waved his hand dismissively, which brought his gauze-wrapped arm into Sam´s sight and made him wince.

“It´s no- it´s not bad. A few gashes, nothing wild. Stop fretting.” He turned towards Cas. “Both of you.”

“Okay.” Sam and Dean stayed silent for a moment, a lifetime of shared trauma and injuries between them. Then Sam cleared his throat. “Okay, what happened?”

After listening to their story, minus certain parts that Dean and Cas kept to themselves, Sam rubbed his jaw, deep in thought.

“So, that thing attacks people who come home from celebrations at night. Nothing connecting the victims, human-shaped, not vocal, claws.” He stayed silent for a moment. “I have a hunch. I´m gonna call you later.”

They ended the call.

Dean sighed deeply and Castiel wrapped his arm around him. “What are we gonna do now?” Dean shrugged. “Hulu or Netflix?”

They were into the third episode of the Witcher when Sam called again.

“So get this. There is a creature in Norse mythology that fits your description. It´s called a draugr. It´s a kind of undead and it´s said that it attacks people who are making noise in the time around midwinter.”

“That fits! How do you kill it?”

“Well, it´s immune to most injuries, as you said. You have to behead it, lay it´s head at its ass and set it on fire.”

“We have to – lay it´s head at its ass? What the hell, man?”

“Look, I didn´t come up with that. Just do it, burn it. Or salt and burn it, won´t do any harm.”

Dean nodded. “Well, if we can get it tonight, we might make it for Christmas.”

“Yeah, burn that son of a bitch and come home.”

“Dean smiled softly. “Yeah, we´ll do that. See ya, Sammy.”

“Bye Dean, bye Cas.”

Both of them leaned back in their chairs as the call ended. For a moment, they were silent, then Dean covered his face with his hand and chuckled.

“Son of a bitch. A draugr. After defeating god, we failed to kill a goddamn zombie.”

Castiel laughed lightly. “Well, it failed to kill us, too, so I call that a tie. We´ll go and get it tonight and then we can go home to Sam, Eileen, and Jack. And celebrate Christmas.”

“Sounds good.”

Dean raised his arms to stretch the sore muscles and winced in pain. “Okay, so, it´s barely half past two, so what are we gonna do with the rest of the day? And will there be a party tonight that we can attend?”

It didn´t take long to find out that there was a Christmas-themed ball in the town hall. The tickets were already sold and there was a guest list.

“I don´t think we actually have to sneak in, we can wait outside until it´s late and people are leaving. Then we´ll go and get this bastard.”

“I agree, but with one condition.”

Dean lifted one eyebrow.

“We´ll not gonna split up again.” Castiel´s eyes were hard. “I won´t leave you to hunt on your own when you´re that hurt. We´re gonna stick together and I will fight. If something happens, you can still intervene. But I won´t leave you, no matter how much you´re gonna argue that you´re-“

“I wasn´t going to.”

Surprised, Castiel tilted his head.

“I would have suggested it myself. I think we´re better together. And I want to finish our last hunt together.”

Cas´ lip trembled and he gripped Dean´s hand tight. “Okay. Yeah. Our last hunt.”

None of them could tell who leaned in first, but suddenly their lips touched and then there was nothing else for a long time.

 ***

 As it turned out, there was a small Christmas market in town. They took the car to town and wandered around aimlessly. The sun stood low and glittered on the snow. Dean and Cas looked at the goods that were laid out in the booths, choosing matching cups with printed moose for Sam and Eileen and a wood carving set for Jack. Night fell early and they got some mulled wine to warm them while they wandered around. Dean tasted every sweet food that he could get his hands on, until he felt slightly nauseous with all the sugar, but it was such a minor inconvenience that it was drowned out by the bliss of spending time with Castiel. They talked about the places they had visited, their favorite films and actors, which books they had read, and which bands Dean had seen live. Normal things. Everyday things. Dean could picture them living a domestic, calm, quiet life, just like this. He couldn´t wait.

In the end, they sat on a dock, looking out over Lake Michigan. They nursed their warm cups in one hand and Dean leaned his head on Cas shoulder. The reflections of the city lights and the half-moon glittered on the water. Dean sighed deeply and Castiel wrapped his arm around his shoulder. His voice was quiet when he asked:

“Are you happy?”

“Yeah. You?”

“Very.”

No more words were said. No more words were needed.

 ***

 The ball was supposed to start at  eight o´clock, so they returned to the car and parked it in sight of the town hall´s main entry. They shared a thermos with coffee and a blanket, huddling together against the cold. The radio played quietly in the background. For the most part they stayed silent, brief comments on the people entering the hall or about their plan the only conversations. When it got late, they left the car and lurked around the corner of the hall to be ready to go to work when the mood in the room changed and people left.

The music and chatter were audible, and they blew into their hands and stepping from one foot to the other to keep warm. Dean started to get tired and a bit cranky. The music had changed from lively rock and pop songs to something slower and cheesier and he was ready to complain when Castiel stretched out his hand. Dean stared at it blankly.

“Would you care to dance?”

“What? I can´t … Where did you learn to dance?”

Castiel shrugged. “I haven´t. But I´ve seen people do it and it doesn´t seem to be too hard. I don´t plan to dance a classic waltz, so, would you humor me?”

And he honest to goodness bowed down and offered his hand. Dean blushed and rolled his eyes, but he took Cas´ hand. The former angel smiled and pulled the hunter close. He wrapped his other hand around Dean´s middle and Dean placed his hand on Cas´ shoulder. They swayed to the sound of a slow, sweet song and Dean found himself immersed in the music and Cas´ touch and he closed his eyes. Castiel hummed along and they circled around with small steps. At some point, Dean leaned his head on Cas´ forehead and they stayed like that, dancing slowly and sharing the same breath, visible between their mouths.

“I love you.”

Dean felt Cas´ hand tighten around his. “I love you, too.”

They kept on dancing a while longer until the music genre changed again, indicating that people would either leave or stay until the early hours of the morning. Slowly, Dean pulled his hand from Cas´, kissing him chastely before he took a step back. He took a deep breath.

“I think it´s time.”

Castiel nodded. He pulled his machete and they set out to circle the streets around the town house.

In the end, it was fairly easy. They checked the dark streets, and kept an eye on several attendants of the party until they were home. It took no longer than an hour until they took  a turn into a dark alley and were met with the sight of a tall figure with glowing eyes that growled at them, lifting clawed hands, and launching itself at them. Dean took a step back and Castiel charged with the elegance of a lifetime of practice. He dodged the draugr´s swing and beheaded it with a forceful swing of his machete. Afterwards, they stayed still for a moment. Dean´s heartbeat hadn´t even picked up that much.

“So, that´s that I guess.”

Cas looked at him with his head tilted, his bloodied weapon still in hand. “Our last hunt.”

Suddenly, Dean was scared. Hunting was familiar. Hunting was what he´d done for his whole life. Everything else had always felt like a farce, a charade, playing domestic because it was what he´d been supposed to do. He didn´t even realize how Cas came closer, to wrapped up in his epiphany.

“Hey, Dean, look at me. We´ll figure it out. And as you said, we can keep track and help other hunters. Not everything has to change.”

Dean nodded. “I know. We make it up as we go, huh?”

“Exactly.”

A deep breath forced its way out of Dean´s no longer constricted chest. “Okay. I´m gonna get the car. We burn that son of a bitch and tomorrow, we´ll head home.”

Dark smoke rose over the sizzling, burning body of the draugr. Dean held Castiel´s hand. They waited until only ashes remained. Then, they made their way to the impala, without haste. They had time.

 ***

 Dean and Cas checked out of the motel at ten o´clock in the morning. They took turns driving, only pausing for gas and snacks. Castiel insisted on listening to a channel with Christmas carols when he drove, reminding Dean of the ancient rule he´d established himself:

“Driver picks the music, Dean.”

The hunter grumbled until “Driving home for Christmas” played on the radio. By the end of the day, even Castiel knew the lyrics by heart.

They held hands while driving and slept with their heads leaned against each other’s shoulders. When evening came, Dean cracked a joke about riding off into the sunset and they recalled their case in Dodge City. Castiel admitted how much he´d wanted to kiss Dean when he came back from the empty the first time. Dean admitted how long he´d been in love with Castiel.

When they parked the car in the garage, the clock jumped to midnight.

They smiled at each other and squeezed their hands once again before they left the car. Duffle bags over their shoulders, they entered the bunker and stopped in their tracks when they saw the library. There was a Christmas tree in the corner. Fairy lights everywhere. A sock for everyone hanging over the fireplace. A plate with cookies on the table, with a handwritten note from Sam: “Welcome home.”

Dean and Castiel took in the scenery. Then they turned towards each other. The lights around them glittered in their eyes.

“Merry Christmas, Cas.”

“Merry Christmas, Dean.”

[whatdidimissjm]

Jamilton Month Day 29 - Wedding

It´s the night before their big day. The night before the wedding. Thomas is basically vibrating with a mix of anticipation and nervous energy. When he comes out of the bathroom, he finds Alex in the bedroom in front of the windows, his back turned to him, looking out at the city. The younger man doesn´t seem to notice Thomas´ presence though, and Thomas just stands there for a moment and watches him. He can´t help but smile, almost overwhelmed with how much love he feels for the other man. He is happier than he has ever been in his life. After a moment of just standing there, Thomas crosses the room and wraps his arms around his fiancé´s waist, softly kissing his shoulder.

He notices almost instantly that something is wrong. Silent tears are running down Alexander´s cheeks, and they aren´t happy tears. The light feeling from before vanishes and is replaced by worry. He turns the younger man around and takes his face in his hands, softly wiping his tears away.

“What´s wrong, love?”, Thomas asks quietly, and Alex looks down, avoiding his eyes, without saying anything.

Thomas feels helpless. When he had left Alex to take a shower, the other man seemed happy, almost giddy with anticipation for the wedding.

“Did something happen?”, Thomas tries again, and this time Alex shakes his head. “Is this about tomorrow?”, he asks finally, praying to a god he doesn´t believe in, that it isn´t, but after a moment of hesitation, Alex nods.

Thomas can feel his throat closing, and anxiety welling up inside him. It feels like a punch in the gut and he can barely breathe for a moment

“Okay, uhm, I´m sure we can somehow still cancel it, if that´s what you want.”, he says quietly, even though the words are almost causing him physical pain. He knows it will probably kill him, but Alex´ feelings always come before his.

Alex´s head snaps up almost instantly, a look of panic in his eyes.

“No!”, he shakes his head rapidly. “No, no! That´s not what this is about! Of course, I don´t want to cancel the wedding!”

Thomas can feel relief flooding through him, the tears that he has managed to hold back until now finally running down his cheeks.

“That´s great.”, he whispers, his voice shaky. “That´s really great.”

Alex gets on his tiptoes and kisses him softly.

“I love you.”, he mumbles against his lips, before kissing him again.

Then he reaches up to cup Thomas´ face and gently brushes the tears away.

“I love you, too. So, so much.”, Thomas whispers back, hugging Alex tightly to his chest. “Will you tell me what´s the matter, sweetheart?”

Alex sighs quietly, pressing himself further against Thomas and hiding his face in his fiancé’s chest. He takes a few deep breaths, relaxing a bit when he feels Thomas starting to play with his hair.

“Every time I think about tomorrow, I think about how your family will be there, and how mine won´t.”, Alex finally admits. His voice is so quiet that Thomas wouldn´t have heard him, hadn´t they been this close together. “I mean, I know that George will be there and Martha and all our friends, and they are all like a family, but I just wish… you know, I wish that I could share that with my family. With the people I grew up with.”

Alex takes in a shuddering breath that results in a chocked sob. Thomas just holds him tighter and lets him cry, his heart breaking for him.

“I´m sorry.”, Alex says after some time, letting out a little chuckle. “I guess I´m just really emotional right now.”

He leans back, giving Thomas an almost shy smile.

“Nothing to be sorry about, love.”, Thomas says softly. “Do you want to talk about it?

Alex shrugs.

“I just wish you could have met them.”

Thomas smiles at him sadly and nods.

“Me too, love.”, he answers honestly.

Thomas reaches up to brush the tears from Alexander´s cheeks, who closes his eyes at that, leaning into the touch. He can´t help but softly kiss his forehead, before pulling him against his chest again.

“Are you tired?”, Thomas asks quietly, after they have stayed like that for some time.

Alex shrugs.

“A bit, but I don´t know if I can sleep yet.”, he lets out a soft chuckle. “I´m pretty excited about tomorrow.”

Thomas can feel himself starting to smile and the unease he has felt before disappearing almost completely. He grabs Alexander´s hand with the engagement ring and lifts it up, pressing a kiss to his fingers.

“I am too. Can´t wait to call you my husband.”

He lets go of Alex´s waist, instead grabbing his other hand too and walks backwards towards the bed.

“There are other things we can do in bed than sleeping, though.”, Thomas says, and Alex gives him a grin.

His eyes are still red and puffy, but at least his smile is genuine.

“Oh, are there?”, he gives back, with a teasing undertone in his voice.

“Yes, I was thinking about cuddling and watching a movie.”

Alex rolls his eyes.

“You are so boring. Aren´t you only supposed to get boring after we are married?”

Thomas shakes his head chuckling, spinning Alex around and throwing him on the bed.

“So you think I´m boring, you little shit? What are your great evening plans then, sweetheart?”

Alex just smiles up at him, stretching seductively on the bed.

“I was thinking about cuddling and talking. A lot less boring.”

Thomas rolls his eyes, and can´t help but chuckle.

“Right. Give me a second to change my shirt and I´m all yours.”

Alex pouts at that, reaching his hand out towards Thomas, but he shakes his head.

“My shirt is full of tears and god knows what else, you have to wait for a moment.”

Alex lets out a groan and lets his hand fall down onto the bed again, watching Thomas while he quickly puts on another pyjama shirt. He throws the other one in the direction of the bathroom, before he joins Alex under the blanket, who curls up in his arms almost immediately. Thomas starts combing his fingers through his fiancé´s hair again, who lets out a content sigh at that.

“Are you okay?”, Thomas asks quietly after some time.

Alex nods, pressing a kiss to Thomas´ cheek.

“Yeah. Still sad that my family can´t be there, but we will celebrate with your family and our friends, so that´s okay.” He props himself up on his elbows, so that he can look at Thomas. “I really don´t care who will be there tomorrow, as long as I have you by my side.”

“Always.”, Thomas gives back.

Alex smiles and leans down to kiss him.

“I know.”

[morningfears]

By the Pool

Rating: M | This is smut! No one under 18!

Summary: Dad’s Best Friend!Ash, older man!Ash (mid-40s) x younger!Reader (21) | “I could just pull your bikini bottoms to the side, no one will notice. But where’s the fun in that?”

Word Count: 6k (this was supposed to be a drabble, sorry)

The spacious backyard is filled with people, neighbors and friends of friends, all milling about with beer bottles and wine coolers in hand as they share mindless small talk. Tacky, over the top red, white, and blue decorations litter the yard while oversized pool floats in the shape of flamingoes and pizza drift in the water. The scent of charcoal fills the air as the neighborhood men stand around the grill, all laughing and drinking as they watch the various meats (and the few vegetables their wives insisted on including) cook. Bits and pieces of their conversation, laughter at ridiculous jokes and complaints about the heat and recommendations for a new lawn service, filter through the air and carry around the backyard as Ashton steps through the wooden gate.

The sun is beating down, sweltering heat too much to handle even for the bathing suits that most of the guests don, and he finds himself wishing the party was being held later in the afternoon. However, this is tradition. A mid-day pool party at the home of that years volunteer, complete with burgers and beer, before everyone retreats to their own  homes to shower and re-dress for the fireworks show to be held at the park that night. Ashton sometimes skips the mid-day party, depending on his mood, but this year, that wasn’t an option. His best friend, an old college friend named Max that’s remained in his life for over twenty years, is hosting and Ashton knew that his appearance would be required.

So he finds himself dressed in an old band shirt and a pair of board shorts, even though he doubts he’ll get into the pool, and lugs a case of beer that he and the rest of the men in the neighborhood can (usually) agree on. He remains by the gate for a moment, watching the crowd mill about the backyard. There are neighbors he rarely sees, people he only vaguely knows, as well as friends that have lived in the neighborhood almost as long as he has. There are teenagers he barely recognizes, kids of friends, and babies belonging to the children of older neighbors. The event, which started a few years after most of the neighborhood started to fill with happy families, has grown substantially over the years and, though he used to attend nearly every event, he’s skipped the last few and feels as if he doesn’t know anyone anymore.

Ashton scans the backyard for familiar faces, searches for Max or his wife, Elaine, and finally finds the pair of them by the grill. He decides to abandon his post at the wooden gate as another family enters behind him, a new set of neighbors who he hasn’t had a chance to get to know yet, and weaves through the crowd of people to reach his friends on the patio.

Elaine is the first to spot him. The tray of vegetables in her hand tells him that she’s attempting to get her husband to provide healthier options and, knowing Max, she isn’t getting very far. Her face lights up when he steps closer to the grill and she exclaims, “Ashton! I’m so glad you’re here. You’re the healthiest of this bunch. Tell them that vegetables are important.”

“A balanced diet does you good,” Ashton agrees readily as he leans in and captures Elaine in a hug. “But cauliflower steak, El, really?”

“Amanda, one of the new neighbors, is vegan,” she points out as she subtly nods to the couple that entered the gate behind Ashton. “And our daughter has decided to go vegetarian,” she offers by way of explanation, waving her hand at the plate containing various meat alternatives, “I’m just trying to make sure they don’t feel left out.”

At the mention of you, Ashton pauses. Realistically, he knows that he should’ve been expecting you to attend a party held at your own home. However, you’ve been away for college and, since moving into an apartment off-campus, you haven’t been home much. He hasn’t seen you in nearly a year, not since the dinner party your parents hosted just before you left for your third year of college, and it feels as if it’s been entirely too long.

He glances around the backyard in search of you, looking for the young girl with the glasses and unruly hair that he’s always had a soft spot for, but when he spots you, he almost drops the case of beer in his hand. If there is a Hell, a section of the underworld filled with fire and brimstone waiting for sinners to arrive en masse, Ashton knows that that’s where he’s going to end up. He can feel it in the pit of his stomach, can hear the little voice in his head reminding him of the very fact, but, as he watches you emerge from the pool, water dripping down your body, he can’t really bring himself to care.

Gone are the glasses, gone are the too-big clothes and shorts and t-shirt he was used to seeing you in whenever you went swimming. Gone is the girl that he remembers and in her place is an adult he barely recognizes.

The t-shirts and shorts have been replaced by a royal blue bikini, high-waisted bottoms covering just enough to be deemed appropriate by your parents for such an outing. You look comfortable and confident, a far cry from the reserved, shy you of the past, and he notes that confidence is a beautiful look on you.

He knows that he’s staring, knows that his jaw has dropped and it’s bordering on inappropriate, but he can’t help himself. You’re embracing your body, no longer ashamed of the things you once considered flaws, and Ashton is proud. A small part of him, though, a part that surprises him, notes that he’s not looking at you because he’s proud of you. He’s looking at you because he likes what he sees and that sends a flurry of guilt swirling in the pit of his stomach.

He’s twenty years your senior and has known you for your entire life. He absolutely shouldn’t be looking at you in that way. However, he finds himself sneaking another glance before he returns his full attention to the conversation your parents are having.

“I’m just glad that she didn’t go to the beach with those hooligan friends of hers,” your dad huffs as he flips a burger and shakes his head. “Didn’t one of them fall off a balcony last year?”

“I don’t think you have much room to talk, man,” Ashton laughs as he pats his friend’s shoulder, “you weren’t the upstanding citizen you are now at her age.”

“Fuck off, Irwin.”

The three of them share a laugh at this, memories of their own debauchery filling their minds, before Elaine gestures to the beer in his hands. “Here, make sure he puts this on the grill and I’ll take these inside,” she offers, glancing pointedly at her husband.

Ashton nearly agrees, nearly hands her the case of beer, but when he spots you head into the kitchen, he decides against it. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll take them inside. You’re better at convincing him to do things than I am, anyway. Do you need me to bring anything out?”

“There’s a plate of tomatoes and lettuce for the burgers on the counter. If you could grab that on your way out, I’d appreciate it,” she nods, a grateful smile on her lips, before she returns her attention to her husband.

Ashton watches the pair of them for a moment, the twinge of guilt getting a bit stronger, before he shakes it off and steps around the group surrounding the grill to enter the kitchen. As he expected, you’re sitting on the island, cell phone in one hand and a wine cooler in the other. He knows that you’ve retreated to the safety of the kitchen because your parents don’t like for you to drink at home, even if you’re old enough, and that you felt the need to chug alcohol to deal with the neighbors whose less than progressive politics have long pissed you off.

He smiles at this, smiles at the familiarity, but the spell of nostalgia is broken as a low moan echoes through the kitchen. He blinks, surprised, before he realizes that the sound is coming from your phone. He raises an eyebrow, certain that you’re not watching porn in public, and allows his curiosity to get the better of him as he steps around the back of the island and glances over your shoulder.

Snapchat, an app that you’ve explained to him a few times but he’s never really cared to learn, is open on your phone and he watches you click on a message from someone he recognizes as one of your roommates. The image is of the girl, who he assumes is your roommate, dressed in a bikini far more scandalous than your own and pressed between two guys with a caption reading, “Pray for me. Nothing is wrong, I just won’t be able to walk tomorrow.”

He watches you giggle, a giddy smile on your lips, before you take a sip of your drink and shake your head. You tap the screen to move to the next message and a short video plays. Your roommate, now completely bare, is standing in what looks to be a bathroom with one of the guys on his knees, face between her legs and hands wrapped around her thighs, one of which is wrapped around his shoulders, as the other gropes her breasts and nips at her neck.

Ashton blinks, surprised by the messages and by the company that you keep, but is unable to look away as you respond with a snap of your bare legs and a message reading, “Wish I was there. :(“

He knows that he shouldn’t be eavesdropping, knows that he should just mind his own business, place the beer in the fridge, and go back to the party, but he feels frozen to the spot. He doesn’t think he could bring himself to move, even if he wanted to, but he finds, as he really thinks about it, that he doesn’t really want to.

“Livvie’s living her best life,” reads the message you send to the group chat he can only assume contains all of your friends, “fucking two babes at the beach? Lucky bitch.”

“She’s the only one of us getting lucky,” comes a response, “the rest of these dudes are mega creeps.”

“At least there’s potential,” you return, fingers flying across the keyboard, “I’m stuck in Boringville with my parents and a ton of old people.”

“Your dad’s friends are hot,” someone replies, “fuck one of them.”

“Fuck Ashton!” another chimes in, “No wife, no problem.”

Ashton wasn’t aware that your friends knew who he was but he realizes that you must’ve mentioned him at some point, must’ve shown them a picture, and he’s both flattered and a bit curious to see how you’ll respond to their recommendation. He’s waiting for you to tell them that that’s a stupid idea, that you’d never sleep with him, but the response that you type out has him gripping the counter.

“I would in a fucking heartbeat,” you return, “I haven’t seen him yet, though. Don’t know if he’s coming.”

Ashton feels his breath catch in his throat as he reads your message. He hadn’t been expecting that, not in the slightest, and he knows that he should stop reading before this conversation goes any farther, but the twitch of his cock, the arousal pooling in the pit of his stomach, has him desperate to keep reading.

“Go to him, then. Fuck it. Live your best life, girl. Tell him you’ve gotten off to thinking about fucking him before, that’ll boost his ego,” one friend instructs.

“Tell him that you want him to call you princess while he raws you,” another advises, sending a string of laughing emojis and a crown.

The thought of doing just that, of calling you princess and filling you with his cum, is something that he’s never thought about. He’s never considered you in any way other than as his friend’s daughter, but as his eyes rake over your body, a few droplets of water still dripping from the strings of your bathing suit top down your sides, he can see it. He can see that you’re not the little girl he once knew, that you’re a different person than you were even a year ago, and he finds himself curious to get to know you.

“He’s my dad’s best friend,” you return, laughing at the stupidity of your friends and drawing him back to the present. “He’s known me my entire life. He wouldn’t fuck me even if I was the last girl on earth.”

“You’re stupid hot, he’s a man; of course he would,” a friend points out. “Get on your knees, tell him you can deepthroat him, and watch him melt. Men are easy.”

Ashton knows that he should agree with you, knows that he shouldn’t even entertain the fantasy because you’re his best friend’s daughter, but, fuck. Your friend is right. You’re beautiful, even more so now that you’re embracing your body and are comfortable in your own skin, and the thought of you choking on his cock has the blood rushing to his cock. He feels arousal pooling in the pit of his stomach and he knows that he needs to leave the kitchen. He knows that he needs to step away from you, to think with his brain instead of his cock, so he places the beer on the counter and grabs the tray of lettuce and tomatoes without glancing at you to see if you noticed him.

He imagines that you’re so engrossed in your conversation that you don’t, imagines that you’re so caught up in giggling about the things your friends are saying and sharing fantasies you don’t imagine will ever come true, that you don’t notice his presence and he’s right. He manages to slip out of the kitchen undetected and hands your mother the plate before excusing himself. He decides to hide in the pool until the semi he’s sporting goes down, decides to just sit in the shallow end and wait for his heart to stop beating so quickly, but that plan goes to shit when you emerge from the kitchen and head straight for him.

“Ashton!” you squeal, eyes lighting up as soon as you see him. “Hi!”

You don’t hesitate to barrel into the pool and throw yourself at him, pulling him into a hug as soon as you reach him, and he returns it just as enthusiastically. Ashton is seated on the steps of the pool, the water barely reaching his mid-stomach, and you don’t think twice about taking a seat on his lap. Although you have a crush on him, although you’ve always had a crush on him, you never imagined it would be reciprocated and never really saw anything wrong with showing him physical affection.

Ashton, while used to this affection from you, is still reeling from reading your conversation. He knows that he shouldn’t act on his impulses, knows that he should nudge you away and remind you how this could look, but everyone in the neighborhood knows just how close Ashton is to your family and knows that he’s a good person, that he’d never do anything inappropriate.

But he doesn’t know that himself.

“Hi, princess,” he breathes as you keep your arms around his neck and grin at him. “How’d your parents get you home for the Fourth?”

Ashton can see the flicker of arousal in your eyes as he calls you princess, can see the brief motion of your thighs as you resist squeezing them together for some sort of friction, and he feels his willpower wearing thin. He wants to tell you that he’d give you whatever you want. He always has and this will be no different. But he knows that that’s a terrible idea.

However, as you shift on his lap and your chest is pressed awfully close to his body, your heat radiating into him, he thinks that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, after all. No one would ever have to know. Even if you told your friends, which he imagines you would, they wouldn’t tell your parents. And you’re an adult now, capable of making your own decisions, and you clearly decided that you’d like to fuck him.

As you answer his question with a story about your parents earning your commitment before your friends could solidify their plans, his hands drift to your thighs. His fingers brush your skin, swirling water around you both, and you pout at him. “I love being home but I’d rather be at the beach.”

“Yeah,” he nods, debating whether he should go for it. However, when you curl into his chest and glance at him from beneath your lashes, pout on your lips, he decides that he’s already going to hell for thinking about it, might as well have fun with it. “Your friend looked like she was having fun,” he hums, his voice low as his hands drift just a little higher.

You blink, momentarily confused, before you suck in a sharp breath. “You saw that?” you question, frowning slightly as you attempt to read the look on his face. “You’re not going to tell my parents, are you?”

“No, princess,” he hums, voice quiet to match yours and this time he does catch the clenching of your thighs as soon as the nickname spills past your lips, “I won’t tell them. But I want you to tell me something.” When you nod, eyes wide and eager, he asks, “What you told your friends, is that true?”

At this point, you glance around the yard in a desperate attempt to see if anyone is watching the pair of you. Although you’re paranoid, anxious that someone will catch you, no one notices anything out of the ordinary. No one gives either of you a second glance so you return your gaze to Ashton and ask, “Which part?”

Ashton knows that you’re playing coy, knows that you’re just trying to make sure you’re on the same page, and he’s always been one to indulge you. So he pulls you just a little closer, maintaining just enough distance to keep anyone from getting suspicious, and breathes, “That you would fuck me. That you want me to call you princess as I fuck you raw. Was that true?”

Your heart is beating a million miles a minute, threatening to pound out of your chest, and you’re half afraid that he’s going to tell your parents just what you and your friends talk about. You’re half-afraid that this is some sort of joke, that he’s going to tell you that your fantasies are disgusting and that you shouldn’t be thinking about him in that way, but, a small part of you, the little bit of your brain that is hopeful, tells you that this is him making sure you want the same thing he does. This is him making sure that the pair of you are on the same page and that you’re just as interested in fucking him as he is you.

So you nod. You nod and quietly breathe, “Yes, yeah. The other part was true, too, that I can deepthroat you. I would, if you wanted me to.”

You’re so eager for him and Ashton is beyond surprised. He’s never seen this side of you, never imagined he would, and he takes a moment to take it all in as his hands drift just a little higher. His fingers play with the band of your bikini bottoms, toy with the elastic at the juncture of your thighs, before he very lightly, barely any pressure at all, brushes his fingers over the crotch. “I could just pull your bikini bottoms to the side,” he hums, voice low as his eyes scan your face for any sign of discomfort, “I could unzip my shorts and you could sit on my cock right here in front of everyone and no one would notice. But where’s the fun in that?”

Ashton catches the whimper that leaves your lips, catches the way you bite your lip and the way your nails dig into his shoulders, and he grins at you. “Don’t worry, princess,” he nearly whispers, his hands returning to your thighs, “that’s not a no. That’s not right now. When everyone starts to leave to get ready for the fireworks, you can come to my place. Until then, be a good girl. Wouldn’t want anyone else seeing those messages, would we?”

When you shake your head, Ashton mumbles a quiet, “Good girl,” and carefully nudges you off his lap. He’s harder now than he was before but this time he has the excuse of wrapping a towel around his waist to keep himself covered. He knows that he has to get out of the water before he loses anymore of his willpower, before he does something to get you both caught, so he gently squeezes your shoulder and climbs out of the pool as quickly as he can and hastily wraps the towel around his waist.

The three hours between Ashton agreeing to fulfill your fantasies and the party ending are the longest in your life. Your group chat has been blowing up with message since you sent, “Uh. Spoiler alert, Ashton does want to fuck me. I’m sneaking over to his place in a bit. How do I tell this man that I want him to absolutely wreck me?” Each message is crazier than the last, each begs for every detail and some even beg for pictures. You find yourself watching Ashton as he mingles with neighbors and, to your surprise, find that he’s watching you, too.

Every time you meet his gaze, he sends you a flirty wink or a smoldering gaze that sets your entire body on fire. You can feel the anticipation threatening to overwhelm you, you can feel the arousal pooling between your thighs, and you want nothing more than to just have him take you then and there, decentness and politeness be damned. However, the moment the party is over and Ashton is gone from your backyard, you tell your parents that you’re going to go for a run before the fireworks show and attempt to slip out the door before anyone can stop you.

You do your best to slip into Ashton’s house unnoticed by any of the neighbors and, even if someone noticed, you’re certain that they wouldn’t think anything of it. However, the knowledge of what’s going to happen has you cautious of every move you make. You feel as if everyone can read your intentions on your face and, while you don’t really care what people think of you, you know that if anyone finds out, Ashton’s the one that’s going to take the brunt of the criticism.

When you step into the house and lock the front door behind you, you turn to find an amused Ashton sitting at the bar, watching you. He’s got a grin on his lips and a beer bottle in hand as he sits there, t-shirt abandoned and board shorts hanging dangerously low on his hips. The tattoos that he’s collected over the years have aged beautifully, all of him has, and you want nothing more than to rake your nails down the expanse of his chest.

You’re not sure what to say, not sure what to do in this situation, so you settle for, “Hi,” and remain in your spot by the door.

Ashton studies you for a moment, attempts to read the look on your face, and when he reads the bit of apprehension, he holds his hand out and motions for you to get closer to him. “Come here, princess,” he hums as he places his bottle onto the counter and holds his arms open for you. When you settle between his spread thighs and wrap your arms around his middle, pressing your cheek against his chest, he hums, “We don’t have to do this. If you’re not comfortable, if this is weird, we can just forget this happened. That’s okay with me.”

“I am comfortable!” you assure him quickly. “I do want this. I just, you make me nervous,” you admit quietly. “I’ve wanted you for so long. This is so embarrassing,” you mumble, “but I’m going to tell you anyway. The first time I ever came, I was touching myself and thinking about you. I want this. I want you.”

Ashton is surprised to hear this, surprised to hear you speak so bluntly, but he appreciates the honesty and the assurance. So, he nods. “I believe you,” he laughs, hands moving to brush your hair away from your face. “What do you want from me, princess? How do you want this to go? I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“I want whatever you want,” you promise him. “I, um, when I was younger I overheard one of your girlfriends and my mom talking. She talked about some of the stuff that you were into and I’ve always thought it was hot. I don’t want you to baby me. I want you to treat me like you would any of your partners. Fuck me. Spank me. Tell me what to do. I’ll tell you if I’m uncomfortable with anything.”

Ashton stares at you for a long moment, studying the look on your face, but when he sees nothing but excitement and sincerity, he nods. “The minute you don’t like something, you tell me. Understood?” When you nod, he tangles his fingers in your hair and tugs at the strands. “I asked you a question, princess. I expect an answer. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, sir,” you whimper, biting back a moan at the feeling.

He hums his satisfaction, happy with your response, and feels his cock twitch at the use of ‘sir’ in your address. “Good,” he nods, “now, on your knees. Let me see how good you really are with your mouth.” Ashton watches, biting back a groan of arousal, as you sink to your knees readily. He watches you place your hands on your thighs, waiting for his instruction, and leaves you in suspense for a moment as he drains the rest of his beer. As soon as the bottle is empty, he stands from his seat and steps out of his board shorts. He kicks them away from the pair of you and takes pride in the way your eyes widen and your tongue darts out to lick your lips at the sight of his cock.

You’ve always known that he would be big and you’re proven correct as you watch him grip his cock and slowly jerk it. “Fuck, princess,” he hums as he steps close enough for him to feel your breath on the head of his cock, “you look so pretty on your knees, so willing to take me. You gonna be a good girl and let me fuck your mouth? Let me shove my cock down your throat?”

“Yes, sir,” you whimper, unable to help yourself as you watch him brush the bead of pre-cum with his thumb.

“Good. Open your mouth.”

Ashton feels any thoughts of anything other than how good you feel leave his mind as he slips his cock into your mouth. He starts off slow, careful not to hurt you, as he places his hand on the back of your head and begins to sink deeper and deeper. Your hands remain on your thighs and he can see you itching to move them, itching to touch him or yourself, and he can see you shifting to gain some sort of friction as you allow him to completely control the pace.

When he pulls away to let you take a breath, you remind him, “I can take it, Ash, please. Don’t go easy on me.”

He hesitates for a moment, thinks about it, but when he sees the pleading look in your eyes and the way you’re staring up at him from beneath your lashes, the perfect epitome of sin with spit coated lips, he decides to go for it. He doesn’t hesitate as he shoves his cock back into your mouth, his hand on the back of your head pushing you down farther as you dig your nails into your thighs.

Ashton is impressed. He tries not to think too hard about how much practice this has taken, tries to imagine that you’re a natural, but, no matter the case, you’re able to take all of him as he fucks your mouth. He sets a harsh pace, thrusting quickly, and groans at the sounds of you choking on his cock. You’re entirely compliant, willing to take whatever he gives you, and he decides that two orgasms isn’t such a stretch for him today. He wants you, wants this, so he takes the opportunity he’s been given and cums in your mouth.

Part of him assumes you’ll spit, part of him assumes you’ll be angry at him, but you swallow what you’re given and hold your tongue out for proof of a job well done.

“Who knew my little princess was such a little slut?” he questions as he grabs your arm and tugs you to your feet. “You enjoyed that, didn’t you, princess?” When you nod, your answer immediate, Ashton slips his hand down your shorts and raises an eyebrow at you when he finds that your bikini bottoms have been removed. “No underwear?”

“Easy access,” you shrug, a small smile on your lips as you wait for him to touch you.

Ashton stares at you for a moment, contemplating what to do with you, before he decides on a course of action. “Clothes off, princess. Bend over the table, hands gripping the edge. I’ll be right back. Don’t you dare move,” he orders before he turns you in the direction of the table and places a stinging slap to your ass.

You’re quick to follow his instructions. You’re wary that his dining room faces your home and even though the blinds are closed and the curtains are drawn, a chill of anxiety pricks at your nerves as you strip out of your tank top and shorts and bend over the edge of the table.

You’ve sat here many times, sat in this dining room and ate or listened to your parents talk with Ashton, but you never could’ve imagined that this would be your fate. That Ashton would be fucking you over the same table he once helped you with a history assignment at is mind-blowing.

True to his word, Ashton is only gone for a moment. To his pleasant surprise, you’re exactly as he wanted you. Your hands are gripping the edge of the table, your shorts and tank top lying in a pile on one of the chairs, and he admires you for a moment. He can see the slick coating your cunt, can see the arousal between your legs, and he doesn’t hesitate to slip his hand between your thighs as he approaches you.

“What’s got you this wet, princess?” he asks as he drops the condom onto the table.

“You, sir,” you whimper as his fingers brush your folds, avoiding your clit and your entrance with every swipe. “I want you so bad.”

Ashton hums at that. He pretends to give it some thought, pretends to consider it, before he slips two fingers into your entrance and closes his eyes when he feels just how tight you are. “Fucking hell,” he breathes before he can stop himself. “You’re so tight, princess. Gonna feel so good.”

He listens to you breathe a sigh of pleasure, feels you shift beneath him as he drapes himself over your back, and it’s the best sound he’s ever heard. Listening to you, feeling just how much you want him, is almost too much for him to take. As he scissors his fingers in an effort to open you up, he notices that you’re desperately attempting to keep yourself from rocking back onto his fingers. He notices that you’re gripping the table harshly, nails scratching at the wood, and he’s proud of your restraint.

“Ashton, please,” you whine as his thumb circles your clit, rubbing tight circles onto the bundle of nerves, “please just fuck me. You can do whatever you want to me later, just take me now.”

He isn’t sure how you mean that statement, isn’t sure if you mean it at all, but he relents. He always does, always gives you exactly what you want, and this situation is no different. As he continues working you open, he reaches for the condom and rips it open with his teeth. He manages to roll it on with one hand and, when his cock is fully sheathed, removes his fingers from your heat.

You whine at the feeling of emptiness, desperate for him to make you cum, but you’re not left empty for more than a second before he’s got the head of his cock positioned at your entrance. He starts off slow and you find yourself feeling grateful for that as the stretch of him proves to be an adjustment. You can feel every drag of his cock against your walls, can feel the stretch of him sinking into you, and you don’t hesitate to moan at the feeling of him.

Ashton himself bites back a groan as he feels just how tight you are around him. It’s bordering on painful, the squeeze of your walls around his cock, but he doesn’t really care as he sinks into you. You feel like heaven, tight and warm, and he has to still as he fully sheathes himself inside of you so he doesn’t cum far too quickly.

You find that nothing has to be said as Ashton fucks you. He seems to know exactly when you want him to go harder, seems to know exactly when you want faster, and it leaves you in awe of how in tune with your body he already is. He can tell, just by the way you whine, what you want and you’ve never had a partner who was even half as perceptive as him. You imagine that it’s his age, that it’s the experience, but you don’t dwell on it as he fucks into you. His pace is quick, his hips snapping against yours roughly, as he returns his fingers to your clit.

You’re almost embarrassed at how quickly he manages to push you over the edge, almost embarrassed at just how fast he makes you cum, but you can’t really bring yourself to care as the most powerful orgasm you’ve ever had crashes over you. Ashton moves to pull away, moves to keep from overstimulating you, but you reach for his hand and keep him in place. “I’m okay, promise, I can take it. Please,” you whimper, pleasure still clouding your brain as you beg him to finish inside of you.

Ashton hesitates for a moment before the need to cum outweighs his better judgement. As you lie beneath him, moans freely tumbling past your lips, he chases his orgasm and breathes a quiet, “Fuck,” when he does. He stills inside of you, pauses to catch his breath, before he pulls out and disposes of the condom. He helps you stand, steadies you when your legs shake, and stares at you for a moment before he cups your cheeks and leans in to pull you into a kiss.

Although he’d just fucked you, the kiss feels far more intimate than any act of passion. It’s careful, delicate, and full of everything left unsaid between the two of you. Neither of you know what will happen next, neither of you has thought that far ahead, and though you’re both worried about the future, a lingering spark of hope in the back of your mind tells you that everything will be okay.

Maybe, just maybe, things will turn out fine.

_______________________________________________________________________

Author’s Note: What is it with me an older men? I thought about titling this Daddy Issues but figured that would be inappropriate. 

[haledamage]

Breakfast at Haley’s

A coffee date between two detectives just before the start of Book 2, OR two best friends sit in a cafe and talk about boys. Kira Kingston is mine, Abigail Jenings belongs to @queen-scribbles <3 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CAIT!!! I was going to post this tomorrow for your actual birthday, but my internet’s gonna be down, so have a slightly early present :)

It was late morning, but quiet enough in Haley’s Bakery that Abigail and Kira managed to grab a window table. They sat in companionable silence, watching the town go about its business like nothing had changed, the murders only a couple months ago already fading from collective memory. Only the two women at the table truly knew just how much had changed.

Haley delivered their drinks and pastries before wandering off to take another order, and once she was gone Kira finally broke the silence. “It’s too fucking quiet here now,” she admitted reluctantly.

Abigail grinned, wrapping her hands around her coffee mug to let the warmth seep into her fingers. “Kira Kingston, complainin’ about th’ quiet! Wonders never cease.”

“Oh, sod off, Red,” Kira said, but there was no heat behind it. “You know what I mean.”

“You miss ‘em.” AJ didn’t need to say who ‘they’ were. Neither of them seemed to be able to think about much else besides ‘them.’

“Maybe,” Kira muttered to her lemon scone. “I didn’t say it.”

Abigail chuckled at her friend’s sour tone. “I miss ‘em too. Apartment’s too empty now, with just th’ two of us.” She took a bite of her chocolate chip muffin and glanced subtly around the bakery, making sure no one was close enough to listen in. “Have y’ heard anythin’ since…”

Kira shook her head. “No. Not even from Mum.” She leaned across the table, dropping her voice. “It’s all very suspicious, innit? What do you think they’re up to?”

“Dunno,” Abigail said with a shrug, tugging idly at a loose curl. “They said they’re stayin’ in town, right? T’ keep us safe. So they’ll be back soon.”

“I hope so. Though not as much as you do, I think,” Kira said slyly, taking a sip of her tea to hide her grin as she added, as casually as possible, “So you and Nate, hmm?”

“What?!” AJ sat up so quickly the table wiggled, making her coffee slosh in her mug, though it didn’t quite spill over. Her face turned almost as red as her hair. “How did--what are--did he say somethin’?”

“He didn’t have to. I hope you don’t think you’re being subtle, the way you stare at each other. I can see the little cartoon hearts in your eyes. It’s adorable. And nauseating.” Despite the bite to her words, Kira smiled warmly at Abigail and her clear infatuation. If anyone in the world would ever be good enough for her in Kira’s mind, it would be Nate. Still, someone had to say it and she knew Agent Jenings wouldn’t, so she added, “If he breaks your heart, I’ll kick his arse. Vampire superhealing be damned.”

“He wouldn’t,” AJ said immediately.

“No. But if he does.” Kira nudged the toe of Abigail’s boot with her own. “C’mon, AJ. Spill. You’re dying to talk about him, I know it.”

“Alright, you asked for it.” Abigail chuckled and took a drink of her coffee and then the floodgates opened. “But, I mean, you know him, Kir. He has t’ be th’ sweetest person I’ve ever met. He’s so nice--genuinely nice, not fakin’ or anythin’--t’ darn near ev’ryone I’ve ever seen him meet, an’ he’s so charmin’ and sincere about it. An’ he really cares about people, doesn’t want them hurt. He’s so empathetic, ‘specially with those eyes…” She sighed wistfully, her own dark blue eyes shining. “He has the best eyes, Kira. They’re all warm an’ carin’ an’ the most beautiful brown on God’s green earth, an’ when we’re talkin’ he looks at me like I’m th’ only thing that matters, an’ he makes me feel all special--which no one’s ever done before, not like this.”

Kira nodded encouragingly, though she knew AJ didn’t need encouragement on this particular subject.

Sure enough, she continued, a wide and happy smile spreading over her face as she did. “An’ the looks don’t hurt--you know I like tall guys, an’ those shoulders--but they’re just icin’ on th’ cake. He’s gorgeous an’ strong an’ that plays second fiddle to him bein’ so open and sweet. It’s the kindness an’ compassion an’ deep brown eyes that got me. Oh, an’ his smile. His smile makes me all warm an’ gooey inside, an’ not just ‘cause I’m fallin’ for him harder’n a rotted tree in a storm.” 

She paused long enough to take another drink of her coffee. “It just…. immediately puts you at ease, makes you feel safe, yeah? Safe an’ valued an’ like you have his undivided attention however long you want it. An’ I want it a real long time. He’s just so wonderful, Kir.” She gestured to the huge, giddy grin still on her face. “Can’t stop smilin’ whenever I so much as think of him. An’ I don’t want to, neither.”

Kira chuckled, unable to keep from smiling herself at Abigail’s infectious joy. “Oh, is that all? Don’t hold back on my account,” she teased.

AJ blushed, drawing a random pattern on the tabletop with her finger. “Well, there’s also th’ way he always knows what t’ say when people are mad or upset or other… emotionally fraught situations and checks with me if he thinks he’s makin’ me th’ least bit uncomfortable--he never is--oh, an’ his hands.” She flexed her own fingers almost subconsciously, like she could almost feel Nate’s hand in hers, but she didn’t elaborate further.

Kira was grateful. She hadn’t given much thought to Nate’s hands before, it seemed like a weird time to do so now.

“Wow.” She smirked and made a show of checking the time on her phone. “You sure that’s it, Red? We’ve still got a few minutes before we’re due to be at the station.”

Abigail chuckled, curling her hands around her coffee mug again. “You asked. Twice.” Her sweet, smitten smile turned playful. “An’ now that I’ve let m’ mouth an’ heart run away with me again, your turn, yeah? What about you an’ Adam?”

Kira scoffed, but she blushed at the same time. “Don’t be daft. There’s no me and Adam. He’s made that very goddamn clear. Doesn’t matter what I feel about it, it isn’t up to me.”

“You don’t see the way he looks at you when y’ aren’t lookin’,” AJ said encouragingly, trying to get her normally closed off friend to open up a bit. She knew she needed to, and just as much she knew that it would take a bit of a push for it to happen.

“Well, no, I wouldn’t, would I?” Kira said, a little sharper than she intended. Then, in a tiny voice, speaking more to the table than to her friend, she added, “How… how does he look at me?”

“Th’ same way I look at Nate.”

“Really?” Kira hated how hopeful that single word sounded. She scowled at no one in particular - or at least, no one in the bakery; it wasn’t hard to figure out who she would be scowling at, if he were there. “Ugh. He’s the most pig-headed, arrogant bastard I’ve ever met. I’m glad you shot him. I should have fucking shot him.”

“An’ you’re in love with him,” Abigail said plainly. One of them had to say it.

“And I’m in love with him.” It took a second for the words to sink in, and when they did Kira covered her face with both hands and groaned. "Oh fuck, I am, aren’t I? How do I make it stop?"

Abigail reached across the table to pat Kira on the arm. "I don’t think it works like that."

Kira was quiet for a long time, long enough that AJ started to wonder if she was going to say anything at all, but she waited her out, eating her muffin in silence while she put her thoughts together.

"He’s got the prettiest eyes," Kira muttered all of a sudden, as if the words escaped against her will. But once she started talking, she couldn't seem to stop. "You know wintergreen’s always been my favorite color. I didn’t know eyes came in that color. And have you seen his arms? Those are good arms to have. And his jawline might as well have been chiseled out of marble, just… fucking perfect." She paused, chipping restlessly at her nail polish, leaving a neat pile of black lacquer on her napkin. "And I… feel safe with him. Like nothing bad could happen as long as he’s there. Obviously, that’s not true, if it was, Murphy wouldn’t have… but it still feels that way, you know?"

"It’s just--I’m--he’s--fuck!" She dropped her head onto the table with a dull thud, but only stayed there a second before sitting up again. "When he looks at me, it’s like the rest of the world just disappears. Like it’s just him and me. And sometimes it’s so intense I can barely breathe. Just from him looking at me! If he ever touched me--like, actually touched me, with intention, not just when he’s trying to protect me--I might literally combust." 

She closed her eyes and sighed. "I could live a thousand years and never feel as special as I do when Adam smiles at me." She covered her face again. "Oh god, that’s awful. If I start reciting poetry, hit me with something."

“Y' know I'm not gonna do that,” Abigail chuckled. She bit her lip in an attempt to hold back a smile. “It's not such a bad thing, havin' feelin's for someone. Y' might even like it if y' try.”

“It doesn’t bloody matter anyway, does it? He doesn’t want me. Or he doesn’t want to want me. There was a moment when I thought, maybe…” Kira’s light brown eyes were distant, full of something an awful lot like longing. Then she shook her head, and it was gone, “but nevermind. Whatever. I think he’d be happy if he never saw me again. If he didn’t have me around complicating things for him.”

AJ shook her head. “You don’ believe that, Kir,” she murmured gently.

“Maybe. I don’t know. It’s fine, I’ve accepted it.” Kira combed her fingers through her hair as she slouched down in her chair. “Can we go back to talking about you and Nate? Or, like, fucking absolutely anything else?”

“How ‘bout Felix an’ Mason?” AJ finally unleashed the smile she’d been holding back.

“Felix is great,” Kira said immediately, relieved in the change in subject. “He’s what you’d be if you woke up one day and stopped caring about what people think about you.”

“Funny.” Abigail arched an eyebrow playfully, her grin widening to match it. “I was gonna say the same about you an’ Mason. Y’ even dress alike.”

Kira smirked and rolled her eyes. “Oh, please, I’ve seen him wear at least one red shirt. That’s too much color for me.”

Abigail’s phone beeped and a second later Kira’s buzzed as well. They reached for them in sync. “That’ll be Tina, I s’ppose. Looks like breakfast is over.”

They quickly finished their coffee and tea and pastries. AJ took their empty mugs and plates up to the counter while Kira took their trash to the bin and then Kira held the door for them both as they waved goodbye to Haley and stepped out into the cool morning streets.

Abigail linked her arm into Kira’s as they fell into step together for the walk to the police station. “Thanks for listenin’, Kir.”

“Anytime. Really. You can talk to me about Nate anytime you want, as much as you want.” She squeezed her arm fondly. “I’ll bitch and moan about it, but I won’t mean it. I’m just jealous you won the emotional availability lottery when it comes to hot vampires.”

AJ lit up with a bright smile and an even brighter blush. “I did, didn’t I?” They walked the rest of the way to work in comfortable silence except for occasionally greeting people who said hello as they passed. Only when they arrived at the front door did she draw Kira to a stop, waiting until she met her eyes to gently say, “Y’ know you can talk t’ me about Adam anytime too, yeah?”

“I know.” Kira smiled warmly, then slipped her arm out of Abigail’s to wrest the door open. “But don’t get your hopes up, Red, I doubt there’ll be anything worth talking about.”

Abigail chuckled, her smile knowing as she followed Kira into the station. “We’ll see about that.”

[argentdandelion]

Make Ralsei Say Heck No (Part 2)

As specified in Part 1, it’s quite odd Ralsei is so cooperative, submissive, and eager to help Lightners even when not explicitly asked to do so. He practically can’t say no, even to absurd or outrageous demands.1 Even to Susie, it takes a while for him to become the slightest bit assertive, visibly frustrated with her, or otherwise non-apologetic and submissive.

Why is this so?

Option 1: Lack of a Choice

Ralsei may believe he has no choice but to be a Delta Warrior, so he must act as hero-like as he can. He apparently thinks hero-like behavior is cooperative, polite, and peaceful, at least relative to Susie’s aggression.

To Kris, he says:

“As heroes we have the power to make a peaceful future. So from now on let's try to avoid FIGHTing OK?”

Later, after listing three instances of Susie’s aggression and how bad it was, he tells Susie:

“Susie...Whether you like it or not...You're a hero. One with the power to bring peace to the future. Could you please start... acting like one?”

Furthermore, he strongly believes getting by without fighting will ensure a happy ending to their tale, and if not, the result will not be “favorable”. Ralsei therefore might think he must be the best hero possible to ensure the best ending, or perhaps to ensure a happy ending to the tale at all.

Counterpoints

As much as he talks about non-violence, he does goes along with Kris’s orders, even if it’s to beat up people not even affiliated with the Spade King’s armies. Regardless of whether he beats people up, he remains polite and cooperative.

Option 2: Delta Warrior at All Costs

It’s also possible Ralsei believes he does have a choice to be one of the Delta Warriors, as a “prince from the dark”. He believes serving Lightners is the only way for Darkners to feel truly fulfilled, and Seam and the Spade King corroborated part of Ralsei’s claim. Ergo, being one of the Delta Warriors would not only let him assist Lightners, but be able to interact with two of them a lot, and so feel very fulfilled.

However, Ralsei isn’t the only “prince from the dark”: there’s also Lancer. (If he didn’t know that at the beginning, he surely learns it early on in the journey.) More specifically, as Lancer has actual subjects, he has a greater claim to the position. If Ralsei makes himself a valuable, pleasing party member, Kris and Susie won’t go searching for other princes from the dark.

The interpretation is suggested in the following dialogue:

Lancer: Just walking along with you guys...Feels nice. Like I'm doing something... important. Ralsei: That's because you're alongside the Lightners, Lancer. Our purpose—Darkners' purpose—is to assist them. It's the only way we can feel truly fulfilled.”

Strangely, Ralsei doesn’t exactly look happy when he says “It’s the only way we can feel truly fulfilled”, suggesting his desire is deeper than just wanting a fun adventure.

Option 3: Friend Desperation

Overlapping with Option 2, Ralsei may be so desperate to be friends with Kris and Susie that he doesn’t have any boundaries or social standards. In fact, he says: “I've been waiting alone here...um...my whole life for you two to arrive. So...I'm really happy to meet you.”

Though Ralsei would logically be friends with the other Delta Warriors, his sheer conflict avoidance suggests he thinks he has no other options. It might be something like “country niceness”: when a countryside kid has only ten playmate options, alienating any of them is a big loss, necessitating extra-polite behavior. Most of the time, he acts as helpful as he can, deferring to Kris’s judgement. If “...” is selected when he talks to Kris before exiting through the great door, Ralsei says: “Kris in the end what you choose is up to you. As long as you're happy with it I'm happy too.”

Furthermore, he obeys even strange commands, such as Kris telling him to “offer his services” to Lancer and Susie during a fight with them. (he offers to braid hair) Most worryingly, in the first Lancer encounter, Ralsei even says he’ll “protect the heroes with my life!”. 2

Oddly, Ralsei is helpful even when his teammates are mean to him or go against his beliefs. Although Susie is consistently aggressive, uncooperative, insulting and otherwise rude, Kris, too, can be mean to Ralsei. (dropping the manual, attacking the dummy repeatedly, making Ralsei eat the stump salsa) Though Ralsei points out multiple times that “FIGHTing is unnecessary in this world” and he believes it will give an unfavorable ending, he nonetheless obeys Kris when told to FIGHT, and even equips the Ragged Scarf, which improves his fighting ability.

He might act strange to Kris and Susie not only because they’re his only (even first) friends, but also “cool kids” he puts on a pedestal. After all, Kris and Susie aren’t simply two people his age who arrived in the kingdom, but two Lightners, worshipped like gods, who he believes are the prophecized “heroes of light”. This contrasts with his blunter behavior to Lancer. After he attacks with two Hathies, Lancer asks how much money he gets after the battle, and Ralsei says he doesn’t get any because he lost. He also acts unusually blunt when pointing out Lancer hasn’t made the thrash machine yet: although he’s talking about something both Lancer and Susie were working on, he was addressing Lancer.3 One of the few times Ralsei is gets angry is when Lancer taunts Ralsei on the swear-word name of their team, as he tells Lancer: "OK, fine! We can keep the name! I just won't say it." However, there’s also a time he was clearly, loudly angry at Susie: on the third post-designed machine encounter, (see video) Ralsei says: "Fine!!! We don't want to be bad guys!!!" (with three exclamation marks, even)

Counterpoints

Although Lancer is not one the “cool kids” (if that’s synonymous with Lightners), Ralsei’s different behavior towards him might not have anything to do with him being a Darkner, less cool, or less suitable for friendship. Ralsei might act differently to Lancer because he’s an obstacle to their goals, annoys them, or mocks them. Rouxls Kaard himself describes Lancer as “more annoying than a fistful of fleas!” and a “strange and irritating darling”.

Option 4: Crush on Kris

Ralsei might be so obedient and eager to please because he has a crush on Kris. According to Kidshealth, people might feel shy, giddy, or both around a crush. Concerning giddiness, he believes Darkners can only feel true fulfilment by serving Lightners, and he is quite eager to serve Kris. Concerning shyness, Ralsei acts submissive, polite, eager to please, and shy or socially-anxious around Kris. As mentioned in Option 3, he says: “Kris in the end what you choose is up to you. As long as you're happy with it I'm happy too.” His submissive-polite speech pattern could indicate nervousness around his crush, and a lack of experience with his feelings and how to act around crushes. Social inexperience is quite plausible: he has barely, if ever, socialized with anyone, since he says he’s been “waiting his whole life for” Kris and Susie, alone in his castle.

At multiple points, Ralsei blushes or acts lovestruck while Kris is physically affectionate or complimentary to him. He blushes when Kris hugs him in the battle tutorial against the dummy. He also blushes when Kris gives the White Ribbon to him, and he asks Kris if he looks pretty. (If Susie’s in the party at that point, he still blushes, but asks Susie instead) More convincingly, when Kris stands really close to Ralsei, Ralsei blushes (but doesn’t ask Kris to move) and when Kris repeatedly attacks the dummy, Ralsei says it’s okay if Kris attacks him, too. (while also blushing) He also amusedly says Kris doesn’t need to donate to the tutorial masters to get him to call Kris “honey”, and that's something married couples, not friends, call each other.

He is also polite, submissive, and waffling to Susie, cares a lot about her, wants her on the team, and goes along with her plans when it’s not outright counterproductive (e.g., being launched at K. Round). However, he still treats Susie differently: he doesn’t blush when talking to Susie, nor does he anticipate Susie’s needs as he does for Kris. (The closest he gets to that is mentioning he “WAS going to bake a cake later” when Susie alludes to her hunger over three sentences.) This suggests he doesn’t have a crush on Susie, too.

It’s likely that this crush is combined with putting Kris on a pedestal or being intimidated by then. Seam says “[Lightners] were like gods to us.” and the Spade King continues with the godlike characterization, telling Ralsei to “perish with the pathetic Lightners you worship!” An NPC also points out the Delta Warriors took the Ragged Scarf in the chest without even asking, and claims it's a "gift to help you defeat the KING!" but also points out they're "potentially criminals". When Kris does the wrong thing, such as repeatedly hugging Ralsei in a combat tutorial, he might be too intimidated to say no, especially for harmless actions. Furthermore, Ralsei might lack integrity or feel insecure at the start, making him especially socially malleable.

Counterpoints

Though blushing in certain circumstances (e.g., saying Kris can hit them) could indicate Ralsei is lovestruck and possibly a masochist (see below), blushing can also show shame or anxiety. Therefore, Ralsei might blush when saying Kris can hit him due to his anticipation of Kris’s needs and inability to say no combining with discomfort on the matter.

It’s unclear whether he enjoys being hugged in general, hugged by people he likes, or specifically being hugged by Kris. After all, he said he’s never hugged anyone before, so he, logically, would never have been hugged back.

Option 5: Social and Physical Masochist

It’s possible he actually likes some combination of getting hurt, insulted, or bossed around, as well as serving Lightners. This is unusual: other Darkners also respond unhappily to getting hurt or insulted, such as Jigswaries getting attacked by Susie or Susie being mean to Bloxer. Even Lancer, as much as he likes Susie, doesn’t act submissive or servile towards her. There’s no evidence Lancer likes getting bossed around or insulted, and he doesn’t like getting hurt. Lancer even imprisons Susie to prevent her and the other Lightners from fighting (and potentially killing) his dad: Ralsei never poses such an obstacle.

Although the Rudinns are unhappy fanning Susie and Lancer, Ralsei offers to fan Kris just in case they’re envious of an evildoing lifestyle. If Kris throws away the manual, Ralsei offers to make a better one next time. The biggest piece of evidence is that, when Ralsei says it’s okay if Kris hits him, Ralsei blushes.

This is one of the less likely interpretations. Although he has a strangely high tolerance for others being mean to him, he does eventually ask Susie to stop being mean to him. However, he’s still a pushover: he entices her into simply being nice to him on a journey to save the world by offering cake, rather than for the sake of decency.

Option 6: Slightly Insane

Mental disturbance is another less likely possibility. After all, Seam says “Around here, you learn to find ways to pass the time...or go mad like everyone else.” If Seam is right, descending into madness is a risk for Darkners, so Ralsei could be mildly insane.

Still, even without supernatural explanations, his behavior and beliefs could easily become erratic if he was alone in the quietude of his castle for long enough, especially without a variety of fun activities. Seam may describe the Dark World as a “prison”, but Ralsei’s kingdom is a prison within a prison: except for two hedges in the tiny Castle Town, there apparently aren’t any living things there but him. Even hermits have richer nature surroundings, and animals for company. Yet, unless Ralsei climbs a cliff to the starting zone to meet with the spoon-like hazards and the sleeping dust lumps, he doesn’t even have animals: just the dummy based off himself.

Conclusion

Although there’s definitely something psychologically weird about Ralsei, it’s hard to figure out what, since there are many ways to interpret his behavior. Some explanations can even be combined: he could, for example, be happy about inevitably becoming a Delta Warrior, solitude eroded his social boundaries (if he ever had any), and he’s simultaneously in love with and intimidated by Kris.

There’s not enough data to say which interpretations are true, or how many, or to what extent. But one thing’s for sure: Ralsei ought to put up some boundaries and say “heck no!” a lot more.

If you enjoyed this post, you may be interested in the author's Patreon and Ko-Fi.

Related Reading Flowey and PTSD series (also analyses the causes and symptoms of strange behavior)

When the Spade King tells him to "perish with the pathetic LIGHTNERs you worship", Ralsei says: “Sorry, but we’re not going anywhere!” Even when responding to the villain of the story who wants to kill him, he sounds almost apologetic. ↩︎

He says this as if he’s not a hero himself. It might mean he knows he's a not one of the prophecized heroes, or that he doesn't have have a high opinion of himself. ↩︎

Lancer: The WHAT machine? Ralsei: The machine... ? We had a whole sequence about it...? Lancer: Oh that. Yeah we'll make it at the last minute. Ralsei: You two should REALLY start working on it earlier...

↩︎

[m0etenchandon]

Truths and kinks (Reader x Joe Mazzello SMUT)

Pairing: Reader x Joe Mazzello Summary: Ben knows you and Joe like each other, so he comes up with a plan to get you two together. Joe has to stay the night when his Uber cancelled, only problem is you only have one bed.. Warnings: SMUT (18+!), friends to lovers, fluff, oral, fingering, blow jobs, unprotected sex (when is it not?), gentle dom!Joe A/N: I can´t even remember how I came up with this idea, I just really like the “there was only one bed” trope. Also, I was in need of some fluffy Joe smut Word count: 5.7 K

Masterlist

Gif found here

“Truth or dare, Joe?”, Ben asked, eyeing his victim. They were all over at your placw for a quiet night in. Well at least it was quiet until someone brought out the booze and insisted on playing a game of truth or dare like a bunch of teenagers. It´s not that you were complaining, but Ben knew about your feelings for Joe and you really didn´t want them to come out. At least not in this setting.

“Truth”, Joe said.

“If you had to shag one of the girls here today, which would you choose?”, Ben asked.

You immediately felt your heart beat start to increase. There were only five girls in the room, but both Lucy and Gwilym´s fiancée was obviously taken. One of the girls had come with Ben but they weren´t really dating or anything, you were pretty sure they were just having casual sex. And then there were your friend, who you knew all boys usually fancy.

“Oh, uhm Y/N”, Joe answered, a slight blush creeping up his cheeks. He refused to make eye contact with you, which to be honest was probably for the better because you were pretty certain you were about to have a heart attack.

Ben nudged your side, causing you to just about avoid starting to hyperventilate. He gave you a “I told you so”, look before focusing his attention back on the game. Ever since you told him about your not-so-little crush, he had been telling you that Joe felt the same way. Obviously, you didn´t believe him, it was too good to be true.

“Your turn, Y/N. Truth or dare?”, Lucy asked after a few rounds. You had avoided many of the more mature truth or dares, but the look in her eyes told you that you were in for it now. Lucy loved to leave people flustered. She was so open about her sex-life herself it didn´t really cross her mind that you might have more of a filter.

“Truth”, you said, taking a big sip of your drink to gain some liquid courage.

“What are your top three kinks?”, she asked, causing you to almost choke. Your eyes went wide, wondering if you heard her right. But the look on her face told you she meant it. Fuck.

“Oh my god, I can´t believe I´m telling you guys this but I guess praise, hands, and uhm choking”, you mumbled the last one, but no one was really paying attention anymore as Rami had knocked over his drink. However, you swear you could see Joe shift in his seat, his gaze burning into your side.

When it was Joe´s turn again, he chose dare. You immediately knew where it was going as Gwilym shot you the cheekiest grin ever, already feeling heat rise to your cheeks.

“I dare you to kiss a girl of your choice for 10 seconds”, Gwilym said, leaning back into his chair way too chuffed for your liking. Ben had obviously told him, that little prick.

Joe rose from his seat and closed the distance between you.

“May I, Y/N?”, he asked, offering you his hand. Shit. You wanted to, you really did, but what if he didn´t think you were a good kisser? Or if he just picked you because there was a shortage of available girls. Joe is so gorgeous, and he´s so nice, and you just can´t picture him actually liking you back.

“Jesus, get on with it”, Ben called out, causing you to look Joe in the eyes and nod. A giant smile spread over his face as he helped you to your feet. Joe licked his lips, grabbed your face and slowly leant in. His lips were so soft against yours. His hands were warm against your skin, making the butterflies in your stomach go into a frenzy.

You reached out to touch his chest and there was definitely a little moan coming from Joe´s mouth into yours. You melted completely into his touch, and the ten seconds went over way too quickly.

“Aww look at those two, you´re so cute together”, Lucy gushed when you pulled back. You tried to shoot her a mean look, but you couldn´t stop the grin spreading over your face. You felt like a school girl with their first crush, and the fact that Joe was blushing too made you all giddy inside.

You could swear you heard Joe thank Gwilym when he went to sat down.

------

“I´m really sorry for keeping you up”, Joe said, running a hand through his hair as he glanced out the window. The others had left around 15 minutes ago, but Joe was still waiting for his Uber. It´s not like he was drunk, but he still shouldn´t be driving. You didn´t mind though. You didn´t know Joe all that well, but you enjoyed his company. And besides, the kiss was still fresh in your memory. Almost able to feel the remains of his lips on yours.

“It´s okay, I don´t mind”, you said. Joe shot you a thankful smile which made your insides turn to goo. God that man had you wrapped around his finger and he didn´t even know.

“Shit”, he muttered when his phone dinged, “He cancelled on me and there´s no-one available for a few hours”

“Oh”, you said. Should you invite him to stay over? Were you that close of friends?

“You can stay over if you want to”, you mumbled, avoiding his gaze. You could hear him let out a sigh of relief, which made you relax a little bit.

“Can I? Y/N, you´re an angel”, Joe exclaimed. He leant over and wrapped his hands around your waist, pulling you flush to his body. You closed your eyes, buried your head in his neck and took in his scent. You could stay here forever, just feeling his body against yours. Feeling your heart swell with each passing second. The hug lingering for longer than your usual just-friends hug.

“Your sofa looks really comfy anyways”, he giggled when he pulled away. Both his words and his movements sent a wave of disappointment through your body. That´s not what you wanted.

“Don´t be silly, Joe. You can stay in my bed”, you said, shooting him a shy smile, “I really don´t mind”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I just have one question”, you said, poking his chest. “Are you a good cuddler?”

Joe broke out into a huge grin, pulling you close to his body again. He gave you a quick hug before reaching over to dispose of his wallet and keys in his jacket. Ready to settle in for the night.

“Babe, you have no idea what you just signed up for”

Your stomach flipped at his words. For some reason you never bat an eye when anyone called you babe, but coming from Joe was different. He probably didn´t think twice of it though.

“Do you mind if I sleep in my boxers? I don´t have to if you feel uncomfortable”, Joe said as you reached your bedroom. You had retreated to the bedroom to do your skincare routing while he slipped into bed.

“Oh, no just go with whatever you want”, you called back. You tried to sound like you couldn´t care less, but oh man did you. He was going to be half-naked. Just beside you. In your bed. Oh my god it was going to be so hard to not make a move on him.

You walked out of the bathroom just in time to catch a glimpse of Joe´s body before he slipped under the duvet. It immediately made your heart beat increase in frequency and your palms begin to sweat. He was absolutely gorgeous.

“You look really cute”, Joe said as he took in your form. You had thrown on an old t-shirt over a pair of panties. But they were nice panties. Just in case.

“Thanks”, you giggled, slipping under the cover yourself. You laid on your side, facing Joe. He had this stupid grin on his face and you couldn´t help but laugh at it.

“What?”, you asked.

“I´m just thinking about our kiss earlier”, Joe said, his eyes falling on your lips for a split-second before meeting your gaze again. Oh.

“Well you were pretty short on options”

Joe furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“What? I would have chosen you out of a hundred girls”, he said, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. Electricity buzzing between his fingers and your skin.

“You would?”, you asked, feeling your skin heat up under his touch. The duvet was way too hot, he was way too hot. And he wanted to kiss you.

“Of course, you´re absolutely stunning and you´re so funny and kind too”, he said, a giant grin on his cute little face. “In fact, I would very much like it if you let me kiss you again, without an audience this time”

“I would like that too”, you whispered as he leant in. You closed your eyes and a second later his lips were on yours again. They fit so perfectly against yours you almost forgot how to breathe. He deepened the kiss, holding your face close to his. Joe´s beard was rubbing against your cheek, only adding to the tingles that engulfed your entire body.

He swiped his tongue over your bottom lip, pressing his tongue into your mouth when you parted them. Joe really was a good kisser. He was in charge of it, that was for sure, but it wasn´t too much. It was just perfect.

Joe pulled away with a dopey smile on his face, his lips pink and plump from the kiss.

“You´re incredible, Y/N”, he said with a giggle.

“Now what?”, you laughed. It felt so natural to have him half-naked right next to you all of a sudden. You couldn´t quite believe that it was actually happening, but you wouldn´t trade it for the world.

“It´s just that you´re so cute and then I remember that you have a choking kink and I can´t believe you´re real”

Embarrassment flooded your body making you hide your face into the pillow. You could hear Joe laugh, but you were busy being absolutely mortified.

“Hey don´t be embarrassed, I get it”, he chuckled. Joe reached out to run a finger down your spine. It tickled, but in a good way, and it made you oddly relaxed. “I mean I haven´t tried it myself but I´m sure it´s really hot”

“You haven´t?”, you asked, slowly turning to face him. Joe shook his head. “You just- I can show you if you like?”

“Sure, show me what I´ve been missing out on”

You grabbed his hand and brought it up to your neck. Placing your hand over his, you pushed it against your throat.

“Press into the sides”

You pressed his thumb and fingers into each side of your throat, just how you like it. A little whimper left your mouth and you could see Joe´s eyes darken.

“Right there”, you practically whined, feeling heat rush to your nether regions.

“Wow okay that´s so fucking hot”, he muttered, watching you intently.

“It feels really good too, especially during sex”, you said. You didn´t even know what came over you, but you felt so relaxed in Joe´s presence you all of a sudden had no problem talking about very intimate situations. Maybe the drinks you had earlier helped too.

“And besides you get to see the guy´s arm muscles flex which is really hot”

Your eyes fell on his bicep as you spoke. Joe´s eyes followed yours, making him blush the prettiest of pink colors when he realized you were practically checking him out. He let out a deep breath and pulled his hand away from your throat.

“I-uh, I don´t want to freak you out but I´m so fucking hard right now”, Joe muttered, running a hand through his hair.

Oh. Your eyes trailed down his body and sure enough, you could see his duvet tenting over his crotch. Heat rose to your ears as you looked back up at his darkened eyes. He looked so fucking hot like this, turned on and sweaty. Because of you.

“I´m sorry I don’t know why I told you that”, he said, a nervous giggle leaving his mouth.

“It´s alright”

“It´ll go away”, Joe said, resting his head against the pillow, “Eventually”

“Oh okay, well maybe let´s just chat then yeah?”, you asked, watching as Joe nodded. “Well you know about my kinks, what about yours?”

“That´s definitely not helping my situation, Y/N”, Joe laughed, throwing his head back. You couldn´t help but admire how cute he looked, but you also couldn´t shake the want to let your eyes trail down to his crotch again.

“It´s only fair”, you muttered in amusement. Joe rolled his eyes.

“Fine, uhm, I like to be dominant in bed. There´s nothing I find hotter than having a girl under me”, he started, his voice a few octaves darker. You nodded, eagerly listening to him. God what you wouldn´t give to have him pin you down and fuck you right now, but it was probably too early for that. You had just confessed your attraction for each other, you hadn´t even gone on a date yet. Besides, he didn´t make a move on you so you just assumed he didn´t want to. Trying and failing to ignore the tingling sensation underneath your panties. The panties that were definitely quite damp by now.

“I also really like dirty talk and praising”, he said with a knowing smile. Fuck, he really did pay attention earlier. “And now I´m pretty sure I have a choking kink as well”

“Hmm, I´m sure any girl would be lucky to experience that”, you said, a non-genuine smile on your face. You didn´t want any other girl to sleep with Joe, you wanted it to be you. You wanted him to take control, to tell you how good you were, and to have him choke you while he brings you to the brink of tears from an orgasm.

“Want to find out?”, Joe said. His whole body showed how nervous he was. He was holding his breath, waiting for your reply. Little did he know you were just as nervous as him. And also nearly passing out from his suggestion.

“Wha-, you want uh- you want to have sex with m-me?”, you asked, your eyes wide.

“I thought that was obvious already”, he laughed, reaching out to stroke your cheek. You swear you could melt right then and there. Shit, why did he have this much power over you?

“I´m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, I totally get it. It´s just that, fuck, you looked so hot with my hand around your throat and I´m so hard for you, Y/N”

“I do”, you blurted out.

“Yeah?”, Joe asked, a grin spreading over his face. “Wow I don´t even know how I managed to grow the balls to ask you. I mean you´re so pretty and I´ve liked you for so long and Ben have told me so many times to just tell you and I-“

“Shut up and kiss me, Mazzello”, you giggled, interrupting his rambling.

Joe´s eyes went wide for a second before he mustered up the courage to grab your face and press his lips to yours. The kiss was way more intense this time, both of you breathing heavily into each other´s mouths. Joe slipped his tongue past your lips to deepen the kiss. His fingers pulling at your hair. It was so fucking hot, but you wanted more. You pulled his duvet away and threw a leg over his hips. Joe whined into your mouth when your clothed heat met his bulge. His hands immediately flew down to your hips to urge you to start moving.

“Fuck that feels so good, Y/N”, Joe whispered against your lips, “I can already feel how wet you are. You really want this too, don´t you? You liked when I choked you?”

You whimpered in response, speeding up your grinding. His hard cock nudged your sensitive clit, giving you some much-needed friction.

“You´re already desperate for my cock, I can see it on your face. You look absolutely beautiful on top of me, babe. But, I did say that I like to be in control”, he said, tightening the grip on your hips and flipping you over.

A yelp left your mouth when your back hit the mattress, but it was soon replaced by a moan when you felt his wet and swollen lips against your neck. You grabbed onto his auburn hair, tugging at it and stretching your neck, giving him better access.

He sucked on your sensitive skin while sliding a hand under your t-shirt. His touch was almost burning your skin, but at the same time creating goose-bumps in its bath. God, he had you completely at his mercy and he hadn´t even touched you properly yet.

“You´re so responsive, Y/N”, Joe muttered against your neck. He slid his hand up to cup your breast, making you arch your back in pleasure. You could feel Joe grin as he tweaked your nipple with his skilled fingers. “Shit, your boos are just perfect”

With his free hand, Joe reached down to pull at the material. Eager to comply, you lifted your arms to allow him to slide the material over your head. His eyes darkened even further when he took in your exposed breasts. Nipples hard and eager for his touch. He cursed under his breath before leaning in. Joe started with placing a kiss to the bruise of your neck before slowly trailing his lips over your collarbones, placing hot open-mouthed kisses all the way down to your breasts. He let his tongue slid over the soft contour of your breast before flicking the nipple.

You were sure you could cum from the stimulation alone, but the pleasure was short-lived. Joe shot you a knowing look, that smug bastard, before kissing his way down your stomach.

“Hmm, do you want to feel my tongue on your pussy? I know you enjoyed it on your boobs”

“God, yes Joe. Please I-fuck, I need you”, you whined. He was going to be the absolute death of you.

Joe chuckled, pressing a wet kiss just above the waistline of your panties. He hooked his fingers into the material and swiftly pulled it down your legs. The cold air hit your wet folds, making you want to press your thighs together, but Joe had a harsh grip on each of your thighs.

“Your pussy is so pretty, baby”, Joe cooed, leaning down to press his lips to the very edge of your heat. He flicked his tongue over the sensitive skin, humming at your taste. “And so wet too. Gonna make you cum so fucking hard”

And with that, Joe went to town. He peppered kisses all over your heat, except for your clit. You were a frustrated, moaning, mess as he continued teasing you, never giving you the friction you so desperately craved. He dragged his tongue through your folds, stopping right before he reached your clit. His chin was completely covered in your juices by now and my god was it a hot sight.

“Joe”, you whined, tugging at his hair, “stop teasing me”

“Desperate, are we?”, he asked, raising an eyebrow. You threw you head back in annoyance, considering reaching down and rubbing your own clit. Especially when you heard and felt him chuckle against your heat.

“Fine, I´ll give you what you want, baby”, he said, immediately wrapping his lips around the sensitive nub. You gasped as a bolt of pleasure shot up your spine. The knot in your stomach tightened at an alarming rate, and you had to hold back as to not cum right away.

He sucked with just the right amount of pressure, his eyes locked on yours. It was all too much, you couldn´t hold back. Joe could tell too. He raised an eyebrow, watching you squirm underneath him. Your thighs beginning to shake in his hands.

Joe flicked his tongue over your clit and you were done for. Your orgasm rippled through your body, starts clouding your vision. The knot in your stomach unraveled, leaving a delicious tingling feeling behind.

Joe pulled back with a smug look on his face, watching as you heaved for air.

“Do you always cum this quick, because that was amazing”, he said, pressing a chaste kiss to the apex of your thighs. You were still so sensitive from your high, you involuntarily jumped at his touch. Joe hummed in amusement.

“I-I´ve never, fuck, not even my vibrator can make me cum that quick”, you said.

“I´m going to take that as a compliment then”, Joe laughed, “I really want to make you cum one more time before I fuck you, do you think you can take it?”

“Please”

“Hmm, that´s my good girl”, he cooed, before realizing what he just said. “I mean fuck, you uh- I didn´t mean to say that I´m sorry  I-“

“Joe”, you giggled, cutting him off for the second time that evening. “You can call me your girl if you want to”

“Yeah?”, he asked, his entire face lighting up. God, he was too cute to handle. But as much as you wanted to kiss his stupid face all day, you couldn´t ignore the dull ache between your legs anymore.

“Of course, but can you get on with it?”

“Oh, right. Sorry”, Joe said, a blush creeping onto his cheeks.

He leant up to press a sweet kiss to your lips, sharing your own cum between your mouths. The semi-bitterness coating both his and your jaw at this point.

Joe slid one of his hands down from your knee, his fingers dancing along the sensitive skin as he made his way towards your heat. You could feel him smirk against your mouth as you jerked your hips, desperate for him to move faster. You needed another release.

Joe´s lips left yours at the same time his fingers reached your heat. He slid two fingers between your folds, gathering your wetness before pressing them against your entrance. You gasped, your fingers digging into his arm as he slid inside. He stretched you just right, the delicious stinging pleasure taking over your body.

“Fuck you´re squeezing my fingers, Y/N. Feels fucking amazing”, Joe mumbled. He watched your facial expression as he started searching for your g-spot, grinning in victory as you let out a long moan of his name. “Hmm, there it is”

“Does that feel good, baby?”, he teased, pressing his fingers harder against the bundle of nerves. The tight tingles already starting to build for the second time.

“God, yes”, you whined.

Joe smirked. He slid his thumb down from your thigh to rest against your clit, making you arch your back in pleasure. He didn´t even have to rub, it was enough to push you right towards the edge.

“Are you going to cum again for me? You look so beautiful all caught up in the pleasure”, Joe cooed, leaning down to press his lips to the dark spot on your neck. He flicked his tongue against it, enjoying the shudder your body responded with. “Want to watch you cum for me. Cum.”

His voice was so demanding, his touch so expertly precise, you couldn´t even hold back if you wanted to. Wave after wave of pleasure shot up your body as your orgasm took over.

Joe guided you through your high, ignoring his aching hard-on as he watched your face scrunch up in pleasure. It was the prettiest sight he´d ever seen. His cock twitching in his pants. Swelling even further

You pulled his hand away when you got over-sensitive, your clit still twitching with aftershocks. Heaving for air as you tried to come back to reality.

Joe sat back on his knees and brought his fingers to his mouth, licking them clean. He kept eye contact the entire time, expertly flicking his tongue over them. Just like he had on your clit. Fuck. He shouldn´t be allowed to be this hot. Your eyes trailed over his body, down his chest and over his soft tummy. You reached out to drag your fingers over it, feeling Joe tense under your touch.

“Ah, I-uh, please don´t”, he said shyly, grabbing your hand and bringing it down to his boxers instead. You played with the waistband, your fingers almost brushing against his hard cock.

“Your body is so fucking hot, Joe”, you cooed, pushing him down on the bed. You straddled his lower thighs.

“I don´t like my stomach”, he mumbled, watching you lean down and press a kiss to his chest.

“Hmm, I think it´s sexy”

You moved your lips down to the top of his stomach, looking up to see if you could keep going. Joe nodded, his eyes glued to your movements as you smiled. You pressed kisses all over the soft curve of his stomach, enjoying the little moans he was making. They grew louder when you inched closer to his boxers, a gasp escaping when you hooked your fingers into the material. You pulled then over his hard cock, releasing it of its restraints as you pulled his boxers down his legs.

You couldn´t hold back the smirk that formed on your lips as you wrapped your hand around his shaft. It has hot and heavy in your grasp, thick. The tip was red and swollen, a small bead of pre-cum oozing from the slit. You swiped a thumb over it, using the liquid as lube as you slowly started moving and twisting your hand.

“Fuck you´re so good at that”, Joe mumbled, throwing his head back. The moan that left his lips when you leant down to press a kiss to his tip, made a wave of wetness rush to your heat. You wrapped your lips around the head, sucking him into your mouth as you worked the rest of his cock with your hand. God his moans were so pretty, so hot. You started to feel desperate to have him inside, having him fill you up.

Apparently, Joe felt the same way because he pulled at your head, needing you to stop before he shot his load into your mouth.

“Wanna fuck you”, he said, flipping you over.

He positioned himself between your legs, grabbing his cock and running it through your soaked folds. His pre-cum mixed with your own excitement, allowing him to easily slide up to your clit. He slapped his cock against the nub, applying just the right amount of pressure to have you gasping for air. Way too sensitive from your previous orgasms.

“Are you ready?”, he asked, sliding his cock down to rest at your entrance. Pressing against it.

“Yes, fuck me, Joe”, you moaned, reaching out to grab onto his arms. Your fingers digging into the skin as Joe slowly slid inside.

You gasped, feeling him stretch you out. The burn mixing with absolute euphoria. He fit like a hand in a glove, filling every inch of your pussy.

“Fucking hell”, Joe mumbled when he bottomed you out, his balls resting against your skin. You couldn´t help but clamp down on him, relishing in the feeling of being full. “God you´re so tight for me”

“Fu-uck, please move”, you whined, needing to release the knot in your stomach again. It had already started to tighten, the mere feeling of having him close enough for the tingles to start.

Joe didn´t need to be asked twice. He cursed under his breath as he looked down to see his cock slowly slide out of your pussy. Your arousal glistening around him, making him easily slip back inside with a thrust of his hips. His cock nudged against your g-spot, making you scream out and scratch as his arms.

“I-fuck you feel so good around me, baby. I feel you squeezing me so tight”, he muttered with a snap of his hips.

“Harder, Joe”, you moaned, feeling your orgasm start to build.

Joe groaned, grabbing your legs and throwing them around his hips. He leant down to rest on his elbows on either side of your head, using his entire body weight to push into you. The bed scraped against the floor. Your legs pushing him further inside with each thrust.

“`m not going to last long”, Joe warned, his hips stuttering as he held back. Needing to feel you cum around his cock before letting go.

“Shit me too”, you whined, “Choke me”

“Fu-uck”, Joe growled, immediately wrapping a hand around your throat. He added just the right amount of pressure, pressing into the sides. The tip of his cock nudged against your g-spot, his pubic bone rubbing against your clit with each thrust.

“I-I´m gonna, fuck, gonna cum, I´m gonna cum”, you moaned. The knot in your stomach started to unravel moments later, the delicious tingle spreading all the way out to your fingers. Your walls clamped down on Joe´s cock, your legs crossing behind his back and keeping him deep inside. His grip on your throat only adding to the pleasure.

Joe watched in awe as you came down, ignoring the pressure building in his balls. He watched your mouth fall open with a cry of his name, feeling your nails scratch at his skin. Definitely drawing blood. The pain only elevating his pleasure. The way you squeezed around him almost causing him to cum.

“Shit that´s the hottest thing I´ve ever seen”, he mumbled, giving you a tentative thrust. You yelped in surprise, your entire pussy way too sensitive. “I´m gonna cum, baby. You want me to cum in your pretty pussy?”

You shook your head, unwrapping your legs and pushing him away. Ignoring the empty feeling you were left with as his cock slipped out of your heat.

“Want you to cum in my mouth, Joe. Want to taste you”

“Fucking hell I´m gonna blow”, Joe groaned, wrapping his hand around his cock.

You quickly turned over, positioning yourself in front of him. You knocked his hand away to replace with your own before taking his head into your mouth. Wrapping your lips around his cock, you bobbed your head up and down, letting his cock slip from your mouth before taking him back in. Joe tangled his fingers in your hair, grunting and moaning as he felt his balls draw up.

“Gonna cum”, he warned before you felt the first spurt of cum coat your tongue. You stilled your head, working his shaft with your hand. Rope after rope of hot white liquid shot out of him, the sweet and salty liquid warm against your mouth. Joe moaned your name, his hips stuttering as you milked him dry.

You let him slip from your mouth, opening up to show him all of his cum. Joe cursed.

“Can you swallow for me?”, he asked, grinning when you did so. “Good girl”

He reached down to swipe his thumb over the droplets that had escaped your mouth, pushing it between your lips. You let your tongue swirl around his digit, watching in amusement as his cock twitched in defeat.

“Fuck that´s hot”, Joe muttered as he slumped down onto the mattress. You giggled, following. Joe wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you to rest your head on his chest. Pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“I definitely have a choking kink too”, he said, an amused sigh leaving his lips. You perched your head on his chest, looking up at his now softened eyes. Reaching up to move his hair off his sweaty forehead. “I´m really glad we did this, Y/N. And that you actually like me back”

“You´re welcome”, you beamed.

“What are you smiling about?”

“How much of a softie you are”, you giggled, watching a blush creep up on his face. “I´m not complaining, but I was kind of expecting you to be more dominant”

“Oh? That wasn´t good enough for you, was it?”, he asked, humor lacing his voice. “Three orgasms are standard for you then?”

“Hmm, no it´s not. It was amazing. But, I think you can do better.”

“Is that a challenge? Because I´m more than willing to comply”, he teased.

“Mhm”, you hummed. 

“On one condition”

You raised your eyebrows in question, a smile playing at your lips.

“Go on a date with me”, Joe said, leaning down to cup your face. His fingers ghosted over your cheek, making the butterflies in your stomach go into a frenzy.

“I would love to, Joe”, you said. Joe grinned, and you couldn´t help but lean up and kiss him and his stupid face. Wanting to feel that rush of feelings when you pressed your lips to his.

Once you pulled back, you pressed your lips to his chest before resting your head on it. You could feel his heart beat slowly steady against your cheek, making your heart swell. Not only had he confessed his feelings, but he had also asked you on a date and gave you the best sex you´ve ever had. He was definitely a keeper.

“Do you want to know a secret?”, Joe asked after a while, pulling you from your train of thoughts.

“Yes”

“The Uber never came because Ben stole my phone earlier to cancel it”, he admitted, causing you to look up at him in surprise.

“What?”

“Well he kept telling me how much you liked me and when I didn´t believe him he came up with the idea. I thought it was stupid back then, but I´m not complaining now”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t hold back the giggle that erupted from your lips. You leant up to press your lips to his, relishing in the sweet kiss for a few seconds before pulling back. Making a mental note to yell at Ben. And to thank him.  

Masterlist

Tags: @ramibaby

Permanent tag list: @tanya-is-dead, @meghans-corner, @killah-queenz, @mrs-tayylor, @sunflower-borhap-boys, @seasexnsun, @valkyrie-and-lokis-daughter, @joes-milk, @pantamemes, @unicornofdanger, @gwilymplots, @monochromedeacon, @pushthetide21, @finite-incantatem-7, @jiswoogannon, @personofinterest, @bensrhapsody, @bowiequeen, @another-random-girl, @augustjosephine, @vee-ndetta, @mymelancholyblu3s, @the-next-one

Tag list is open. I will add/remove you if you comment you want to, but I won’t reply (this is a side blog). If you want me to reply, send me an ask:)

[liannyeong]

i'm so in love with you (and i hope you know)

Summary: the four times she wanted to say "i love you" but didn't, and the one time she did

Word count: 2242

Pairing: Jaebum X OC

Warning(s): Fluff with a teeny bit of angst

1.

it's weird how they manage to tie the knot, despite the female has never uttered those words of love. even in this moment, when jaebum has a microphone to his mouth, looking dashing in his suit, eyes only on her as he says a speech meant only for her.

"my favorite person in the universe, i love you," he ends off.

jaebum's eyes are brimmed with tears, threatening to fall. but hers already trickled halfway into his speech.

i love you too.

she wants to say it. she wants to let him know. but she just can't. the words were already at the tip of her tongue, but it just never came out. instead, she pathetically wipes her tears away and throws her arms around his neck and hugs him tightly, pressing her cheek against his. jaebum's arms automatically winds around her waist, and she barely registers the cheers from the guests, the flashes of the cameras.

she only hopes in this moment, when they are pressed against each other, that he knows she's uttering those declaration words of love repeatedly and endlessly in her heart.

2.

as cringe-worthy and cliche as it sounds, she realizes her feelings for him grows deeper with each passing day. it always comes to her mind like a sudden reminder or a sudden realization (which she has already realized, as stupid as that sounds).

like when jaebum stays close to her even in the emptiest of streets. or when they're having a meal at a cheap restaurant, jaebum would always drag his chair close to her. or in another instance when they're at home, lazing around on their king-sized bed, jaebum would always ensure he's pressed close to her body. they have all the space in the world, yet jaebum would always stay close. it's lame and trivial, and disgusting to the eyes of others, but she finds endearment in them. she finds the meanings of love in them.

she finds herself saying those three words in her mind every single time.

i'm so in love with you, jaebum-ah.

"what?" jaebum's voice snaps her reverie. now, facing upclose with jaebum's face, his eyes boring into hers like a blackhole, she feels her face heat up. it's too much to take. those words were at the tip of her tongue, yet she doesn't say it. jaebum's eyes are inquiring, yet he doesn't press for answers.

"i-- um-- n-nothing!" she sputters as she looks away in embarrassment.

she takes a second glance at the male, only to be met with suspicious eyes.

"really?"

"yeah! it's nothing! just some weird thoughts, that's all. ha ha," she says lightly, ending it off with an awkward laugh.

jaebum doesn't seem to believe her words, but he just nods anyway.

3.

"hey, what do you think about people who say "i love you" often?" jaebum asks offhandedly when she gets ready for bed. the male has a routine of reading a book before bedtime so he's got a book laid open on his lap, his back resting against the headboard.

"what?"

the man shrugs, eyes fixed on the book still. "it just popped into my mind. what do you think about it?"

"i-- um-- i think it's good?" she says as she adjusts herself, making herself comfortable in bed. she's thankful that jaebum isn't looking at her when he said those words, eyes never leaving the book. hearing those three words even when it's not directed to her makes her all warm and giddy. at the same time, it makes her nervous. does jaebum realize that she has never said such words before? "it's a declaration of love, after all..."

jaebum hums at her answer.

she pats her pillow, redirecting the conversation to the male. "what about you though? what is your opinion?"

jaebum shrugs. "i think it's romantic? especially when the moments call for it. like you said, it is a declaration of love."

now it's her turn to hum. she scoots closer, such that she's all into jaebum's private space. jaebum automatically makes room for her: winds an arm around her shoulder as she rests her head against his chest. she can read the text in the book, but she's too distracted with the warmth of the male to care.

"when you said 'especially when the moments call for it', what do you mean?" she asks, looking up at the male. it hurts to crane her neck at such an awkward angle, but she doesn't mind. after all, she just wants to be close to her beloved.

"like now," he says coolly, eyes gazing down on her.

a pause, then,

"i love you."

she blushes, but with her heart pounding in her chest, heat pooling in her gut, she craves for more. jaebum seems to read her mind for he leans in a tad closer, their noses touching, eyes flicking to her lips. she anticipates the moment when the gap would be closed. but instead, jaebum leans back and removes his arm, taking all the warmth with him. surprised, she watches him, who proceeds to shut his book after marking the page and setting it aside.

"jaebum?"

"funny," he starts. "you say the idea is good. yet i've never heard you say it."

"huh?"

"you've never said you love me. you've never expressed it," jaebum continues. "ever since we dated, ever since i proposed to you, on our wedding day even! not once did you say it."

she gulps her spit. jaebum did notice. she has always felt guilty for not telling him her feelings. she has always wanted to tell him about it. who was she to think that jaebum, the perceptive man, would not pick it up?

"why?"

"i--" her mouth gapes like a fish.

"sometimes," jaebum starts again, "i wonder if i'm the only one in love in this relationship."

that's the last thing jaebum says before he slides underneath the sheets. he pulls the covers over his body, back turned on the female. he lies on the very edge of the bed. now the king-sized bed seems so spacious, and jaebum feels so faraway.

4.

it goes unsaid, but the problem between them isn't resolved yet. neither is it even addressed properly. it takes a toll on their relationship. jaebum seems to be holding himself back. he doesn't hold her as often anymore. everything becomes a little too calculated. the atmosphere becomes too fragile. one wrong move and something will shatter.

it's a horrible feeling. jaebum stays on the edge of his side of the bed. he feels so out of reach. he's breathing evenly, but she knows he's not asleep yet. he's just pretending to be.

"jaebum-ah," she calls out so softly, so timidly in the middle of the night. "jaebum-ah, i-- i l-lo--" but the rest of the words get stuck in her throat.

she reaches a hand out, tugging the hem of his shirt.

"i l-lo--" she fails again.

god, it's so frustrating. this situation is fully hers to blame. if only she could say those words out loud, if only she had been more expressive, then this wouldn't have happened. it's all up to her to fix this problem. but--

"i can't. i can't say it!" she bursts out. "i'm sorry i can't say it! no matter how much i want to, i just can't!"

tears end up streaming down her face, dampening the pillowcase. she barely registers jaebum turning around, scooting closer to her.

"but i do have feelings for you and i've always had feelings for you," she cries. "i can't say those words easily but at least i try to prove it to you."

she barely hears the rustling of the sheets, barely feels the light touch on her face.

"i'm sorry that it's not enough," she gasps in between her sobs. "but i ask of you... please don't doubt my feelings for you."

"come here," the male calls out softly. she feels her body pulled into a warm embrace, a rough hand pushing her head into a sturdy chest. another hand rests on the small of her back, pressing her close. "i'm sorry. i just-- i needed some assurance. i'm sorry, i didn't know--"

she tugs at the front of his shirt, crying into his chest.

"i was afraid you were falling out of love with me, so i just--"

the female shakes her head vigorously. she looks up, doesn't care about her ugly crying face. she reaches her hands to his face, fingers touching his cheeks. "jaebum, please don't-- please don't doubt my feelings for you. it has been there and it will always be there."

"yeah-- yeah i-- i know now, i'm sorry." jaebum leans in and presses a kiss on her crown.

he doesn't let go of her, rubbing soothing patterns onto her back as he comforts her. she reckons it's disgusting to have her tears and mucus on his shirt, but he doesn't mind it one bit. if anything, he doesn't let her move away. he keeps her close, tight against his own body.

5.

the celebration for jaebum's birthday was a full house party, hosted by his closest friends. thankfully, it was at some hotel function hall so they didn't need to clean up the mess. a little over two hours after midnight, they decided it was time for home.

she hadn't given his birthday gift yet, awaiting for the perfect moment. just when they reached home, she rushes off to the bedroom, grabbing the little box -- wrapped with cat patterns all over -- in her wardrobe. she stands before jaebum, the gift behind her back as she smiles up at him. he looks at her amused, yet curious as he peeks at what she's hiding.

"happy birthday," she congratulates as she holds out the box to him. "open it."

jaebum tears the paper haphazardly, and it reveals a small grey box. he opens it and what lies inside is a silver block with a necklace chain attached. he picks it up, placing the box aside. jaebum inspects it, turns the metal back and forth. he notices creases in the middle, so he tries to push one end of the block. the cap falls off, showing a thumbdrive inside.

eyeing the female suspiciously, jaebum goes to his computer in his workroom and plugs the drive in. a window pops up and there's only a single audio file. the female stays at the doorway, body leaned against the wall, watching as the male plays the file through the speakers.

"jaebum-ah," her voice calls out in the recording.

"... i love you."

the man's face freezes. as if time slowed down, she can see how his eyes widened, mouth agape at the screen. he blinks once, twice. then slowly, he turns his face to look at her. he stares at her, as if in disbelief with what he had just heard. she smiles at him, tears welling in her eyes. jaebum turns his attention back to the computer screen, and he plays the file again as if to confirm it.

"jaebum-ah... i love you," it plays.

jaebum has a hand pressed against his mouth. he leans back in his seat, still in disbelief.

jaebum takes some time to collect himself. he stands slowly, running his hand through his hair. there's a sharp intake of breath, then he turns to her. she sees it clearly, with the glow from the computer screen: the tears that brimmed in his eyes. his lips break into the biggest smile she has ever seen.

"jaebum-ah," she calls out, voice quavering.

jaebum steps closer, stands right in front of her. his eyes gaze at her so fondly, so lovingly, she reckons she can melt like butter. his hands slide into hers, the pad of his thumbs rubbing circles at the back of her hands.

"i love you."

jaebum leans in.

+1.

jaebum noses at the junction between her neck and her bare shoulder. under the sheets, their limbs tangle, warmth is shared with no barrier. it's a little too hot, what with the heater turned on, but they don't mind it at all. their sweat has already dried off, and the smell of musk long gone.

"you know," the male's deep, roughened voice reverberates on her skin. "i think it's a good thing you can't say those words."

the female just hums, an indicator for more clarification, for him to go on.

"it keeps it meaningful."

"does it?"

"yeah," jaebum agrees, tilting his face closer to her shoulder, pressing light, innocent kisses along the skin. the brush of his lips against her bare skin sends a tingling feeling down her gut, fire burning low. "so, you don't have to force yourself anymore."

she shifts, making the man lie flat on his back. she turns around, presses her cheek against his chest. it's a position such that half of her body is resting on top of his. their legs tangle once more. jaebum has an arm around her waist, to keep her from slipping off, his fingers lightly tracing patterns on the skin of her shoulder.

"jaebum-ah," she calls out a while later. she raises her head, resting her chin on his chest. the said male just looks down, brows raised. with heat in her cheeks, tongue no longer tied, she utters, "i love you."

there's a pregnant pause. jaebum just stares at her. then,

"ahh, damn it."

jaebum lunges.

[yandere-daze]

I feel like you already know who I’m in here to request for 🧍‍♀️

But may I please request some Shu hcs for how he would act with an s/o who really likes all the pretty clothes he makes and wants to wear them but is v insecure 👉🏻👈🏻 tyyyyyy

(Watch me be back later for some yan hcs but for now I just want some fluff hskdjskdjslfj)

slihfaavjdg yes I did indeed expect this caitie but thank you so much for your request! I hope I did your boy justice^^

Shu with an s/o that wants to wear his clothes but is insecure

We all know Shu is an admirer of beauty,always looking for new inspiration for his clothes

He takes his work very seriously which is why, when he first showed you his newest creation, he was very proud of himself on the inside when you praised his craftmanship with eyes that were practically sparkling

He explains to you that he created the design with you in mind so to him it is only logical for you to wear it so he can truly see if the final product was adequate compared to what he had envisioned

He definitely didn´t just want to see his s/o in the pretty clothes he himself had made, ridiculous

So Shu was a bit disgruntled when you stuttered and told him you weren´t sure if you should wear it. He just didn´t understand. Was it not to your liking? But he had spent so much extra effort to make sure it fit your tastes!

He´s a bit hurt but doesn´t want to show weakness to you so instead he said “ Goodness. Do you not realize that I used the finest of fabrics to create this piece of art? It would be a shame for you to not try it on.”

He tightly clutches his hands as he awaits your answer, silently fearing that he had done something wrong when you raised your voice once again to answer him

“Shu, I know how much time and effort you spent on this. How much you spend on all of these clothes you make and I love them so much I can´t even express it into words! I really do! And if I´m honest I always dreamed about wearing them one day but...”, you trailed off there

“But? I´m sorry to say but I do not see the problem,darling.”

“Well I....don´t think I deserve to wear these clothes.They´re so pretty and perfect and then I´m so....imperfect in every way. I did not want to  insult your work like that!”

To say it took him by surprise was an understatement. All this time, you had felt like this? Did you not know what joy you brought him, how beautiful you were to him? If he was honest he knew that he wasn´t the most doting boyfriend out there, especially in terms of compliments but he hadn´t imagined it to end like this. So after some deliberation he decided to answer.

“Nonsense. I made these clothes to perfectly fit your image so if you perceive them as perfect then that means you yourself must be perfect as well. I did not not sew this only for it to collect dust on a mannequin, it is meant to be worn by you so.....please.... do try it on.

Hearing Shu of all people say “please” came as a surprise so in spite of yourself, you decided to comply to his wishes and stepped behind a curtain to change into the extravagant attire. Looking into the mirror in front of you, you almost didn´t recognize yoursef. You don´t think you had ever worn something so pretty before and you felt giddy knowing it was your boyfriend that had hand-crafted it for you. So despite the uneasy feeling of nervousness that bubbled up in your stomach, you drew the curtain to the side so you were facing Shu once again

It was quiet for a few seconds as Shu scanned you with his eyes as he came closer to you, twirling you around and inspecting you from every angle. You felt even more self-concious when your boyfriend was so upclose and gazing at you so intensly but then his voice broke the silence.

“Beautfiful.”

It was this one whispered word that completely changed the atmosphere you experienced from tense to joyous and you felt a blush creep up on your cheeks. Shu had called you beautiful?

“It is just as I expected, the colors and design I chose fit you perfectly. As you can see, there is no reason to doubt your own worth when you are so clearly sparkling like a precious jewel right in front of my eyes.”

At this, Shu´s eyes almost uncharacteristically softened as he gently grasped your hands in his.

“So y/n, know that I wouldn´t have chosen you if you weren´t absolutely perfect in my eyes. All of these so-called imperfections only further emphasize all of your wonderful qualities, they are what make you whole.”

Then his cheeks darkened as he realized what he had just said, not one to openly show his affection like this without Mademoiselle´s help.

But looking at your happy and gentle smile, Shu couldn´t help but think that it had been worth it to express his true thoughts just this once

[sabine-leo]

Please me if you tease me...

Part 1 

Author: @sabine-leo

Rated: M (18+)

Part: 1 / ?

Genre: Tease, Humor, Lemon/Smut, Kink

Pairing: Loki x Reader 

Summary: There is something exhilarating about teasing your secret lover Loki. But are you ready to tangle with the God of Mischief? You are about to find out as the preperations for a grand festivity in Asgard kick in. 

Note: I do have no self control...While writing I realised that I probably would need more then a Oneshot/Twoshot to tell the story. I hope you don´t mind ;) Thank you for all the likes on the teaser I posted. It really helped me to write faster! Hopefully you´ll have fun reading it! Every like, comment and reblog is very appreciated! English isn´t my mother tongue so please forgive my mistakes!!

My Taglist ist open, as are requests. 

This would be a rather long day, Loki was attending a gathering in the Palace to discuss Security measures for the big festivity and some last-minute changes regarding the preparations. He had sneaked out of your chambers this morning with the promise to be back tonight. Nobody in the palace knew that you were seeing each other for a while now. It had begun as some kind of friends with benefits thing, but soon had turned into more. You loved Loki’s wit and his sharp mind and he liked that you treated him like a man, not a prince or a god…even if he teased you constantly that he was YOUR prince and god! You gave him a piece of your mind if he did something stupid or irresponsible and normally, he would listen…after sulking.

As you didn´t have anything scheduled for today and would only start to help with the preparations tomorrow you wanted to enjoy your off day a little. But feeling rather playful you snapped a picture of the filling tub and the big loofah Loki had gifted you a while ago. And after you had dipped in one of your leg lurking out of the bubbles. It didn´t take long that your phone announced a message with a little ding. Loki had taken a liking to Midgardian cell phones and brought them to Asgard. After a little alteration they worked just fine in this realm.

Laughing you opened up the message and read.

Loki: Why are you teasing your prince in such a devilish way? You know that I am in a gathering that needs my full attention!

You: Well, my prince...then why are you answering me ?

Loki: Thor is talking at this point in time and I have listened to him rant the whole morning after I left your chambers.

You: Then I am not distracting you from important things currently, your case that I am but a devil is invalid then.

Loki: Oh, my sweet maiden...You are a devilish vixen, but I will not punish you THAT MUCH if you send me another picture of your enchanting shape...

You: ...only if I get one in return...my prince!

Loki: You know I can not satisfy your enquiry in this moment of time. I do not think that a picture of this round table full of rather addleheaded persons would gratify your request. You on the other hand…You could absolutely satisfy my appeal.

Laughing and biting your lip you snapped another picture. To see in it was your neck and your collarbone…nothing more. You hit send with a giddy laugh escaping your lips. After you finished your bath and towelled yourself down you saw a new message coming in.

 Loki:  I WILL punish you for that tonight. If you keep sending me snippets, I will likely be able to print a life-sized poster of you in a while. And I will decorate my chambers with it. Maybe right above my bed.

 Dressing yourself in leather and your prestigious armour to walk around the courtyard you couldn´t muster to leave the smile behind that your little game with Loki had put on your lips. You were one of the rare women soldiers in Asgard. Trained by the Valkyrie herself you could pack a punch and then some, dresses weren´t made for you, you preferred leather and pants at any given time.

Opening the door to get some fresh air and walk around the beautiful courtyard you stopped short as a soldier greeted you with a nod. “You are needed at the gathering, there is a matter that needs to be discussed with the highest-ranking soldiers on duty the next days.”

Oh, that tasted so much like Loki that you rolled your eyes but nodded. Mustering the bravery and composure of a soldier again you stepped into the room and nodded to your King and his sons sitting together at the far end. “My presence was required my King?!”

“Indeed, Loki pointed out that it would be futile to discuss matters without the ones doing the deed.”

Loki grinned and inclined his head to you.

“I did certainly, Father was so kind to listen to my…appeal...”

Uh oh, he used the word out of his last text.

Standing up and coming over to you Loki pinned you to the spot with his gaze.

“So my dear (Y/N)… please sit and help us to formulate a plan were nobody feels left out or even…punished!” He motioned to a chair directly opposite him and waited until you sat down before he pushed you a bit to the table.

Loki walked leisurely back to his seat as Odin gave another run down on security matters for everybody new to this gathering. Loki sat down and you could feel his gaze on you as you tried to concentrate and listen to what Odin had to say.

“I said I would punish you for teasing your prince...” A very mischievous voice sounded quietly next to your ear.  Loki had made an illusion of him sitting back down in his chair and had disguised himself as he stood behind you. “You are an imaginative little devil my sweet darling, but I am the god of mischief, never forget with whom you tangle!” A single finger stroked from your collarbone up to your neck, right to that spot under your ear that was VERY responsive.

You tried to hide a shudder and pressed your legs together. Only to find them pushed open by invisible hands on your inner thighs. Good, that the table was hiding everything from the eyes of everybody else. A hand pressed down on your core above the leather. Oh boy, you were in big trouble!

You saw Odin’s mouth move, but couldn´t begin to understand what he was talking about.

Your ears full of your own heartbeat that got faster and faster.

“….and I do think that would be a rather good strategy…what do you say, Loki?” 

Saved by Odin….

You needed to hide a chuckle as the hands on you suddenly stopped and you imagined how Loki crawled under the table back to the illusion that sat in his chair. You could see the exact moment when it actually was Loki again. He needed to clear his throat for a second and answered.

“Yes, father. I think you have filled out all the wholes that needed to be revised in our strategy.”

 Smooth, sooo smooth.

“Did I… Ha!” Odin laughed and looked to Thor. “Are you too contend, my son?”

Thor nodded and said. “Yes, I think this will work out just fine, we do have enough soldiers on duty so that we can allow the higher ranks to attend the festive this year.” With a glint in his eyes he looked over to Loki and Loki smiled very pleased as he said.

“I do look forward to see you in a formal gown (Y/N).”

“What?!”

Odin lifted his eyebrow.

“You heard my son! YOUR Prince wants to see you in a gown, so please his appeal and dress up dear! You know that I am rather fond of you, but as good a soldier you might be, you can´t attend in leather and amour on this special occasion!” Loki leaned back in his chair with a smirk and clicked his tongue.

“That would be all for the moment, thank you for your time. I believe you have a dress to choose!”

Oh, he would pay for that!!!

 Nodding your goodbyes before you left the room you beelined it to the dressmaker of the court, who fortunately happened to be your friend. Opening the door without knocking you looked at her in displeasure.

“Your dreams have come true… I need a dress! And a VERY stunning one that will knock men and gods and everybody of their feet!” Catherine clapped her hands and grinned

“Oh, I prayed to Odin for that day to come. I might already have something ready. You just need to choose a colour that would suit you for this occasion!”

 Smiling at your friend you nodded and the both of you got to work on that dress of yours.

 2 hours later you were pleased with what Catherine had come up with and you had chosen a colour that was to your liking. Walking through the long corridor you stopped to step onto a balcony with the most beautiful view you knew in Asgard. Looking down onto the blooming gardens with the most exotic and beautiful scented flowers of all the 9 realms you took a deep breath and smiled. This was home. This was were your heart belonged. You liked adventures from time to time, but you felt most at ease here.

 A hand grabbed you and tucked you behind a hefty column, pinned you to it with a lean and muscular body. The scent was very familiar, so you didn´t defend yourself as a hot mouth crashed onto yours and your lips fought each other in a battle of lust. Your hands grabbed into raven black hair and tucked his head back a little. “What do you think you are doing?” You asked him a little breathless.

“Kissing my lady that has teased me with pictures of her striking body even if it only was a leg and your collarbone. Even those sparse looks can give a man ideas! And I do have time for a quickie!”

He smirked and winked at you.

 Grabbing Loki by the soft leather of his collar you bit his lip a little and grinned.

“Mhmm, but ideas they will stay, as I have places to be and things to do after you tricked me into a dress just to….punish me for not answering your … appeal.” Reversing your positions, you pressed into him and smiled sweetly. “My Prince If you would excuse me now…” A last hard kiss and you sashayed away hearing Loki letting out an exasperated sigh.

 It was a dangerous game to play with the god of mischief, but OH wasn´t it fun!

 Outside in the courtyard you looked around and saw a lot of happy faces, giddy and excited for the festivity. There was a lot of activity as well. Flowers being arranged, general cleaning and decorating, things were moved from left to right. Walking around a fountain you heard your name being called.

Slowly you turned in the direction to see Frigga, your queen coming towards you.

 “My dear, I was informed you would be attending the festivity not as guard but yourself. I am very pleased to hear that you finally decide to indulge in pleasure instead of always looking out for the safety of us!” Frigga touched your shoulder and smiled a warm smile. Serving as her personal guard now and then you got to know her very well, and liked her a lot!

“I´m afraid to say that I didn´t chose this pleasure myself, my queen…You know me, I would rather dress in leather then a gown at any given day!” Frigga laughed and waved your comment away.

“Pleasure is pleasure my dear, you might as well indulge in it and enjoy the night.”

 Frigga tucked her arm under yours and started to walk with you.

“Tell me, what do you plan to do with your gorgeous hair and those striking eyes of yours?”

You couldn´t believe it…from choosing a gown to beauty talk with the queen, did you wake up in an alternate universe?! The look on your face must have been telling, because Frigga laughed and said:

“Come with me, you look rather lost, had I asked about knives and armour you would be talking about your newest blade by now. Let me take care of you for once!”

 This kept getting better and better… an hour later you found yourself in Frigga’s chambers being pampered like a princess of the court. Your phone signalled a message.

 Loki: Where are you my lady? You left me with a throbbing … Problem earlier!

 You: Stop that, I am in your mothers’ chambers getting who knows what onto my skin and into my hair. I think I am cleaner than I have ever been before.

You knew that Loki would have a field day with that info, he probably was laughing his firm behind off just this second. A new message came in. Looking around to see it was safe to look at it you gasped for a second.

Loki: So, are you telling me that you are naked and oiled up? Mhmm, why have I never thought of doing that?

Before you could send him a few words to shut him up another message came in.

Loki: Then I better get cleaned up myself. Undressing just now…

A picture of your shower came after the text…and another one of his leathers on the ground.

He was in your chambers. In your shower….naked…

You: Stop teasing me Loki, and stop sending pictures I am with your mother for god sake!

 Loki: Oh, darling….and I was with my brother and father earlier this day as you teased me…deal with it!

And with that you got a picture of his abs with a peek down to his underwear, that was clearly bulging more than normal.

 You should have known better then to tangle with the god of mischief.

 Loki: Do you want me to soap myself up all the way? Clean every…inch…every long and hard inch of myself?

 Biting your lip, you looked at the picture again. Oh yes you wanted that, but you wanted to do it yourself…maybe tie him to the…

“(Y/N) dear, you look flushed…are you feeling well?” Frigga’s voice pulled you out of your little daydream. You almost dropped the phone into the water your feet were stuck in.

“No, no…it´s just hot…in here…the water I mean…”

 Your phone vibrated in your hands again. It could instead have been an electric shock jolting through you as much as you flinched as you saw the picture of Loki’s chest glistening wet with soap flowing down. You had to give him that, he did take rather hot selfies without showing to much and ruining the imagination.  

 “Oh my, you aren´t used to that much attention, I´m sorry if I overwhelmed you, but you are like a daughter to me, and I want you to knock the men over with your appearance. Not that you aren´t stunning in your leather love, you are, but I´d like to see you in a gown myself!”

Oh, you would definitely knock someone over today, but not with your looks.

And that someone was standing in your shower just this second!

 Frigga smiled softly at you and said “Alright dear, we will end this for now, but I want you to come back in 3 days to try something with your hair. You do know the formal dance that needs to be danced?” Shaking your head in horror you looked even more horrified as Frigga said.

“Don´t worry my dear, I will teach you…and ask Loki to accompany us. He is the best dancer in the family.”

 This really had to be an alternate reality. Or an out of body experience…

 The “We will end this for now” took another half an hour and was accompanied with a new picture from Loki, laying naked in your bed only covered by the bedspread over his groin, the setting sun kissing his rippled chest. What had you gotten yourself into? He clearly won that round of teasing…by miles! After that pictures and his texts your imagination had run wild into a very specific, not save to be around other people kind of place. Striding down the corridor to get to your room and the man lying in it you almost made a run for it.

 Only to get stopped by Thors booming voice rare meters away from your door.

“(Y/N), what´s the hurry?” Groaning internally, you mustered a fake smile and turned to look at Thor.

“Nothing, I just wanted to enjoy my day of and indulge in a good novel…”

“Books..” Thor rolled his eyes. “Can´t think of a more boring way to end the day…come with me to a pre-feast, let´s get drunk and dance on the table afterward!”

 Laughing at the memory of the one night you had said yes to the same proposal you grinned.

“I was ill for 3 days after that, I don´t think that would be wise tonight. Sleep well Thor, you should rest up too!” With a huff he walked away. Opening your door and closing it with a bang you turned the lock!

“You better be ready to please…” The bed was empty, the sheets all tangled. He clearly had been in this room, his scent still lingered in here. Frustrated you threw your armour onto a chair after you got rid of it. Only to gasp as in the same chair appeared a very naked Loki grinning at you with your armour in hand. “That novel you were talking about to my brother….”

Your armour fell to the ground with a thud.

“…May I be able to turn it into some rather dirty, erotic and slightly kinky… graphic display?!”

 Tags for : @drakesfiance @confessionsofastrugglingteen @shinebrightlikeafanbase

[faangirl101]

Call girl, Part one) Mob!Tom holland x reader

CALL GIRL MASTERLIST

Mobster Tom Holland x call girl reader

Summery:  I worked for Tom holland. He wasn't my boss though. I worked for a huge illegal company in south london with prostitutes, or as other would say “call girls”. I really don't know how i ended up as one, it was just the only way to get enough money. In the end it was hard getting out of this kind of business. I was stuck with one of the most dangerous mobsters of london, of freaking england even. He had so much blood on his hands just the thought of it made me shiver. And i was his call girl. This was not going to end well.

WARNINGS: PLEASE READ THESE, post assualt, sexuel assualt, past rape, crying, bruises and bloods, Quite graphic, dont read this if you are a victim of sexuell assualt or is sensitve of it... Thanks!

)READ THE WARNINGS FIRST PLEASE(

Tell me pretty lies

Look me in the face

Tell me that you love me

Even if it's fake

'Cause I don't fucking care, at all

I woke up when someone stirred next to me. The light from the huge window on my left hit my eyes making me close them even harder. Fuck. The silk sheets rubbed against my naked body. This isn't unusual for me. This was pretty much my life now a days. I sat up with some difficulties thanks to the pain over my entire body. There was bruises on my wrists and inner thighs, my lower parts hurt as i moved. There was hickeys all over my body and bitemarks. Tom was extra rough last night. He claimed me until there was tears in the corner of my eyes. I enjoyed it sure, but i couldn't help being terrified of him.

Tom laid next to me on his stomach. He was peaceful when he slept, his light snores and dark long eyelashes fluttering down his pink cheeks. He wasn't dangerous then. I didn't want to wake him up, i didn't dare. On weak legs i was standing up at the edge of the king sized bed and dropped the silk duvet on the way up. The cold air made my bruised nipples stand out in attention. I tiptoed over the expensive rug. I was close to falling on my knees. I couldn't stand it anymore, i couldn't. I was exhausted. I was exhausted but i couldn't sleep. I just… I just didn't want to do this anymore, be a call girl. I wanted to go home. Tears was threatening as i hurried to the bathroom next to the room.

I could see truly how rich Tom was. Everything was shining in white and grey and black. The bathroom probably costed more than my entire rent. I saw myself in the mirror. My entire body was painting in blue, from yesterday, and green with a dip of yellow, from a last week. My lips was bleeding from being bit on to much. My mascara was running down my face, taking the tears with them. The cold water calmed down my pulsating face, letting all the depression and exhausted with mascara down the drain. I had to look good for Tom. I quickly combed through my messy hair with my fingers as I tried to make myself look respectable. “Doll?”, I heard Tom say and at one's I caught my guard. My entire body frozen in fear as I tried to swallow down the trembling breath colliding with my body.I  saw Tom coming closer in the mirror, standing behind me. His eyes traced my ruined body, a flash of something in his chestnut eyes….. regret? No that couldn't be it. “Do you need my service, sir”, I asked, my morning voice darker than usual. He hummed under his breath meeting my eyes in the mirror. His left eye was dark and swollen, some traces of blood trickling down his nose. He looked scary, terrifying. But being scared wasn't my job.

“Your face, si-i-ir”, I started, my voice shaking as i turned around. “You should have seen the other guy”, he said, like if he tried to light up the situation “and you look worse. I went a little to rough on you last night”. His finger slowly traced a bruise over my throat from when he choked me. I swallowed and knew he could feel the sensation. “I don't mind”, I fought the tears “sir”. He didn't believe me, his entire face was twisted in so many emotions. But he didn't say anything, he just mouthed “okay”. He was beautiful. I couldn't argue with that. After sex he would actually… care. I wasn't used to that… Maybe Tom holland wasn't so much of a bad guy as you would think.

You've been out all night

I don't know where you've been

You're slurring all your words

Not making any sense

“Tom?”, my heart was beating hard enough for my chest to break in half. He was leaning back against the wall in the hallway, breathing heavily. His face scrunched up in naucheus as he connected his fist with the wall in a loud smash. The shape of his fist was imprinted into the wall. I yelped at the action, catching his attention. He was drunk, there was no doubt. He tripped over his own feet as he made his way over to me. “Y/n!”, he threw his hands up in the air “i'm so happy, you're here… i think harrison is on a date”.  He whispered the last part, looking around himself even if you two were alone in the hallway. “You've been drinking?”, it was a statement but my voice made it sound like a question. He laughed, a lighthearted laugh making my heart skip a beat. “And why would you think that”, he clicked his tongue “you're pretty”.

I blushed violently and grasped lightly onto his arm. “Do you want to go to bed?”, I whisper as I start to lead him down the hallway. Tom don't seem to understand what's happening and he look behind his shoulder and then back at me.He shook his head and pursed his thin lips together in disapproval. But he didn't have enough strength to escape my grip as I practically pushed him down the bed. He collapsed, his head falling back onto the king size bed. “Lemme”, I begin tugging at his shirt, signalising for him to take it off. He brings it over his head with some difficulties as his locks get under the shirt. His chest is shining in a thin layer of sweat. When i usually saw his abs it wasn't in this situation. He would often just be bedned over me, slamming me into an orgasm. But now, it was like I saw him in a different light.  I yelped in surprise as he suddenly gripped my waist and brought me down the bed with him. “Tom”, I whispered, all the previous fear coming back. I know he wouldn't hurt me… but a lot of my customers have so I always took it for granted. But Toms hands didn't wander down my body like usual, they didnt start to unzip my pants. Instead, they laid me down before he rested his head on my chest. I knew he could feel my rapid heartbeat behind my breasts but i didn't dare to move. “M Sorry”, he slurred “i'm so tired”. My hand automatically started stroking his locks, saving the feeling of the soft hair between my fingers. Tom sighed, burying himself deeper between my boobs. I could feel his soft breath hit my skin, making goosebumps scatter over my body. I pressed a kiss on top of his head, immediately regretting it but…. Tom giggled, like a little school girl. “Can i kiss you”, the question was so out of the blue and startled me. Tom had set some rules for me when i'm in his service, do whatever he says and if it becomes to much, the safeword is red and… under no consequences kiss him. But here he was, demanding a kiss. But when i looked down his face, reminding me of a child at christmas morning…. i had to. I leaned down, pressing our mouths together in a feather kiss. Your lips were barely touching, like a kindergarten kiss, but it sent millions of butterflies down my abdomen. I thought he would deepen the kiss, turn me around and claim me, but instead he posited his face in the crook of my neck and sighed deep. “Goodnight Y/n” I sighed in return, closing my eyes hard. Dear god let him forget all of this in the morning.

'Cause I have hella feelings for you

I act like I don't fucking care

Like they ain't even there

“Get out”, he muttered, the dark circles under his eyes making his expression even more terrifying “get the fuck out”. I swallowed, feeling my gut twist up in pure fear. He would kill me, no doubt. This wasn't drunk giddy Tommy….. this was mafia mobster Tom holland… he would kill me in a instant. I was as good as dead. “Sir-r”, i tried to swallow the lump of anxiety flushing up my throat. “No”, he brought a finger in front of my face “this is where you zip it okay, i gave you three rules… one, you do everything i told you to. Two, the safewords has to be used if you need it… and three, never kiss me”. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand like in disgust. He was backing me up against the wall, i didn't even know if he did it on purpose “ And you broke my rules, i don't like when people don't obligate to me”.  He was close now, i could smell the lingering of last night's whiskey over his breath that hit my face. “So”, he began, his eyes flashing red “ i want you out, i'm going to call your company about a change in girls”. When his hand smashed against the wall next to me, it got too much. Flashbacks of cum in my mouth as I were punched blue, being thrown into a bathtub and raped in cold blood and men forcing their cock in me while their hands were tightly gripped around my throat flashed by my memories. I slid down the wall, my tailbone hurting of the sudden compact. I hugged my body, trying to protect it from the hands that were going to start flying in my face, the kicks that would break a bone or two and maybe even a tray of saliva spit at me together with the words “you disgust me”. But… nothing came. I stayed my place, my body's shaking and my sobs uneven. “Please”, i sobbed, my heart being hugged in a feeling of stress “please, don-t hurt me-e”. The room was quiet, other than my tears and racing pulse. I felt the shadow of Tom move lower as he crouched down next to me. “God”, he muttered under his breath “i didn't… please”. When his fingers slipped over my arm i pulled away from his touch out of instinct. “Please”, his voice broke “please, i'm sorry, look at me y/n”. I opened my eyes, it didn't help but thought since my sight was to blurry to see.

When i get my sight back i see him, his eyes filled with regret and empathy. “I'm sorry”, he covered his eyes with his strong hands, like if he wiped away tears. I knew he didn't though. Tom holland don't cry. “I'm going to get out now!”, I started crouching up on shaky legs, wiping the layer of snot from my nose “Sir, i didn't mean to break your rule, I'm going to leave”. I knew what would happen if i went back to the call girls penthouse. I would get a beating, that was for sure. A call girl upsetting their client was unacceptable. “No”, his hand wraps around my wrist but not rough at all “I don't want another girl. I'm just hangover. Please, stay for breakfast”.

I don't want another girl

I was smiling. The words warmed my heart in a way i hadn't felt for a long time. “Okay”, i mumbled, and hid the blush so close to escaping “sir”. He dragged me up in a short yank, me being suddenly on my feet almost pressed against his ribcage. “Please Doll”, he mumbled, his eyes wandering over my tears streamed face “call me Tom”.

)SEND A MESSAGE TO BE APART OF THE TAGLIST!(

[yandere-daze]

Man I´m finally getting around to reblogging this masterpiece of a fic and I feel so bad about the fact that it has taken me so long to do so. This was actually one of the first works I ever found when I looked through the yandere Mika tag and I remember even back then when I read it for the very first time, how enchanted and emotional I felt when I first read this. Just. As weird as it may sound I don´t think I´ve ever read a better descprition of how pathetic and broken a character feels, with all the accompanying tears, snot, heaving and sobbing. The obvious desperation in every shark intake of breath,with every little interjection he throws our way, it´s all just so palpable!!

I´m not lying when I say I must have reread this around 5 times by now and I´m still as much in love with it as I was back then. Man I´ve wanted to write an essay under this for so long ( because that´s what this post deserves) but could never quite find the right words but now that I feel like we´ve gotten closer over the past few weeks and aren´t just a writer I greatly admire and look up to, I finally feel to just ramble here as much as I want kjngkdn

I feel like you can truly feel Mika´s creepy obsession with the reader, even if the things he did in the past are only hinted at- you don´t need a thorough rundown because you can tell how messed up he is just from the way he reacts to the news of the Producer announcing that they´ll stop producing Valkyrie. One small thing I want to say before I get more into the twisted stuff is that I thought the little nod to Shu and Mademoiselle wishing us good luck while hoping to still stay in contact to be really cute.

Too bad a certain other Valkyrie member doesn´t seem to agree 🙃 

What I find impressive is that when you really look at it, Mika actually doesn´t say all that much- verbally- but you can so clearly see how he´s feeling just from the way he´s behaving and his movements. You can tell so much from the way he so impatiently waits for in the meeting room in the beginning, likely so early because he can´t wait to see us, and how he immediately moves to get up and greet us enthusiastically when we do finally enter the room. It just shows this sort of giddy admiration Mika must feel for the producer, one we soon learn to be quite twisted.

You know I´m a fan of obsessive yanderes being very jealous so I appreciated the part where it mentioned that Mika tries to shoo away the other idols,even if it´s about work. It also does some cool foreshadowing in showing us that he actually feels quite entitled to our affection and time, even if he himself tries to paint it as a pure and unconditional love. He wouldn´t do all of these creepy things and overstep our boundaries if he truly and honestly loved us.

But of course, there´s also the delusional part to yandere Mika, the part that makes him think that all of these things he does are actually nice and kind gestures. Personally I loved the bit near the end where he says that he doesn´t understand why we hate him, how he thought “protecting us” and “remembering a lot of things about us” would make us love him back. It truly does show how he tries to justify stalking us to himself and instead tries to see things through rose-tinted glasses because he doesn´t want to consider the possibility that he is at fault for us rejecting him.

We can see it from the very beginning where he tries to deny what we´re saying, that we don´t really mean what we´re saying, that we aren´t leaving him ( I like how he speaks of it as “abandoning him” because it sounds even more selfish. He doesn´t consider that this might be healthier for us, to him we´re not doing him justice and being cruel)

There´s soooo much guilt-tripping in here as well and I have no idea if it´s intentional or not ( maybe a mix of both but mostly unintentional because he truly does think that he´s being wronged). Him saying that he needs us, asking us not to abandon him, his leading question along the lines of “You don´t hate me, do you?”. Obviously trying to fish for sympathy here but also just being absolutely heartbroken. He loves you sooo much and he simply doesn´t want to believe that you hate him , that you look at him with a face of complete disgust.

( Also funnily enough that part where he talks about fantasizing about you insulting him and it actually happening fits very well with what we´ve been talking about in Dms recently but so true skjnfl)

What I also really like here is how the reader stands their ground in this situation. You can realy feel how fed up they are with this entire situation and with Mika after he has repeatedly invaded their privacy and caused them great discomfort, even after already scolding him for it before. It all culminating in them punching him was also really good because it showcased just how frustrated we were at that point to use violence- you can even see that with us looking shocked about it afterwards

But man, shit realy hits the fan there and seeing Mika acting so very pathetic, desperately clinging on to us and refusing to let go while tears and snot run down his face- I´m honestly impressed you found so many words to properly describe his state without it feeling repetetive. I just really liked that entire part and when Mika finally does confess... oh it just happens in the worst way possible <3

Mika also saying that this wasn´t how he meant to confess to you. Yeah I definitely imagine that that wasn´t what he had in mind lsfls

And the end too... You can clearly see Mika drifting into a state of entitlement in the last few paragraphs where he says that he doesn´t think that he did anything wrong, that he did everythinghe did out of love and how he feels wronged by you. How could you do something so cruel to him when he adores you so much, when he would do everything for you? It´s not fair! How could you break his heart like this?

It´s all soooo good and I ate up every single word you wrote down, fr

Okay I think I´m done now ( unless there´s more that comes to mind and I´ll yell about it in dms)

Thank you so so much for writing this, I literally owe you my life for this, holy shit 💕

Hostile Work Environment

A big thank you to @baltoslav who helped me proofread, edit and polish this <3

Fandom: Ensemble Stars!! Dynamic: (mild) yandere Mika Kagehira's one-sided crush on the Producer (they/them pronouns, use of (Y/N)), Producer who is creeped out by his obsessive behaviour (see note) Word count: 3531 Summary: The Producer grew tired of Mika's increasingly worrisome obsession with them and, for the sake of maintaining an environment they'd enjoy working in, chose to drop Valkyrie as their unit. However, Mika, who already suffers from a fear of abandonment, doesn't take it well in the least. Warnings: mild violence, injury and blood (of the nose), mentions of obsessive, jealous and unhealthy/toxic behaviour, implications of stalking, lots of descriptions of bodily fluids (snot, tears, saliva, mainly) Note: You ever get in the mood to just torture the hell out of your blorbo? That's all I'll say on the "why" topic. To explain the dynamic a little more, Mika is not meant to be sympathised with here. I lifted a lot from his canonical obsession-prone behaviour, but amped it enough that I thought whether or not this should be tagged as yandere (Ultimately, I decided to do it. While it does feel somehow "mild", the elements of obsession, stalking and jealousy are still there, and I'd rather make sure everything is properly tagged). I'd consider this "angst with a resolution" and a catharsis specifically because his behaviour earned him the Producer's frustration and all the action they took. I'm kinda blabbing, but I just like talking about the thought process behind some of the stuff I write. Anyway!

On that day, the ES building and all its staff were as busy as they always were. As the most brightly-shining gem of the nation’s idol industry, the ES building was known for the daily hustle and bustle, with moments of peace few and far between. The sounds of printers and staplers, the staff members going over schedules and contracts, stamping approvals as well as rejections, an adjustment here and a correction there – there was always more work to be done. Even the idols themselves, the privileged crème de la crème of society, could often be found running around the offices like mice in a labyrinth, eager to get their hands on the better jobs before a rival could steal it. And though conversations echoed and mixed throughout the building, the most interesting exchanges always took place behind the closed doors of the meeting rooms. It was in one such meeting room of the Cosmic Production offices that a producer and an idol were holding a one-on-one about work matters or, better said, about work problems. The idol – Mika Kagehira of Valkyrie – stood accused of inappropriate behaviour. To be sure, that wasn’t the first time he was accused of the same and the Producer, sick of it, simply had to take firm action this time. No matter how many times he was reprimanded, Mika’s behaviour had never corrected. Again and again, he treated them almost akin to an object of worship, obsessively following their every step and seemingly attempting to insert himself into their life as more than just an idol – all of which was highly inappropriate in a work setting. Not even to mention, the way he would always insist on walking the Producer to the station in the evenings, or how he always tried to shoo other idols away from them, even if it was for work, made them increasingly uncomfortable. After some time, even his overly enthusiastic greetings and entranced staring from the other side of the room were enough to put the Producer on edge. And that was simply no work environment to thrive in.

Thus, the Producer set up a meeting. Not to reprimand him once more – these warnings have proved time and time again to be futile – but to tell him they've had enough. Besides, it would be bad manners to abandon a client without informing them first. At least Valkyrie’s leader, Shu, took it in stride – in fact, he reacted quite aloof to the news of the Producer handing them off to another colleague of the P-Association (though Mademoiselle expressed sadness and understanding in equal measures, making them promise to at least stay in touch) – but they had an inkling that Mika would prove to be more difficult to deal with. Hence, the slightly informal setting and the privilege of a semi-private space.

Mika had arrived early, too excited for a one-on-one meeting with the Producer to risk being late. He was always like that with them: eager. Ecstatic to bask in their presence even if for mere moments. When the Producer had arrived, Mika was already seated at the table, fidgeting impatiently, bouncing his leg and tapping the desk with his fingers to the rhythm of a song that only existed in his mind. His eyes lit up the moment he saw his cherished Producer. Before he could even stand to greet them, however, they started speaking, “I’m switching to producing a different unit.” They hadn’t even made eye contact before cutting to the chase. The Producer didn’t want to give him even the hope of that day’s meeting being anything but cold, hard business. It left Mika in an awkward half-sitting pose, his smile frozen in place, too shocked to even frown. A moment of silence passed, during which the cogs in his head were very obviously spinning into overdrive trying to process the information he was just given. "I… dun understand. What're ya sayin', (Y/N)-chan?" "I already told you not to call me that at work,” they snapped. “I said I’m switching to producing a different unit. I’m dropping Valkyrie." “Ya can’t do that!” he protested, standing up so abruptly that the chair behind him slid backwards, nearly tipping over. “Y’ve been our producer all this time, ya can’t just… ditch us!” He took a step closer, and the Producer took two steps back. “Of course I can; Saegusa approved my request just this morning. From now on, Valkyrie’s work will be handled by-” “But why? Who’re ya switchin’ to? There ain’t no one here better than Valkyrie, so y’re just betrayin’ us fer nothin’ and- and-” "I’m not betraying anyone, I’m making a career decision.” A sigh. The Producer pinched the bridge of their nose, closing their eyes to gather their thoughts. “Deep breaths, Kagehira. It’s nothing to panic over."

There was a moment of hesitation, a moment in which Mika didn't know whether to obey or protest, but, ultimately, his trust and admiration for them overpowered his negative feelings. He closed his eyes, inhaled, exhaled. It wasn’t the first time he had felt so emotional, it wasn’t the first time the Producer had to guide him back to Earth – but he couldn’t help it! He has always been an emotional person, and the Producer just means so much to him. Even the way their words were able to ground him so easily was proof enough that he needed them. He couldn’t understand why they were going to switch so suddenly, he honestly couldn’t imagine a single reason for it – he didn’t want to, or maybe he couldn’t, think about it being his fault.

“Y’re abandonin’ us,” still, he pressed. “How could’ja? Was it… ‘s it my fault? N’ah, ‘m sorry, I dunno what I did, but I’m sorry, so, please, tell vice prez ya changed yer mind!” But the Producer was tired, irritated. They have had the conversation about his behaviour too many times already, Mika saying he had no idea what he had done only drained them further of their patience. They were done mincing their words just to appease him. “It is your fault, actually.” “Wha-” “How many times have I told you? Not to call me by my first name, not to invade my personal space, not to follow me after work, not to bother and harass me? Every single time,” they emphasised each word with a downwards motion of their fist, straightening their back to appear somewhat more assertive and taking a deep breath before continuing, “every single time when I, or a higher-up, told you to quit it, you’d behave for a week, maybe, before returning to your usual, disgusting behaviour. It is your fault! I love this job, that’s why I’m here, but even just- just seeing your face is enough to ruin my day now! I can’t work in these conditions, so I’m switching before you make me quit entirely.” A sniffle. Mika quickly looked away, rubbing his cheek with his hand. “Y’don’t mean that…” his voice was barely above a whisper, strained, shaky. “I do! And-” “You don’t. You don’t, you d-” though his face was out of the Producer’s sight, the sharp intake of air was enough for them to guess that he was on the verge of crying. He always was sensitive. “I never… I only…” he couldn’t even get a coherent sentence out. “Don’t interrupt me. You and your... obsession – you’ve really made me hate my dream job. So, I quit. I’m switching. I don’t want to work with a nasty creep like you any longer.” The Producer finally exhaled, shaking their frustration out through their hands.

Yet, they were somewhat proud of themselves for being able to finally lay out all their annoyance, all their exasperation with the idol. And it was more than that, really, because, even though their co-workers seemed to think of Mika as a relatively harmless young man, there was something so subtly off-putting about him; the Producer just didn’t want to risk it. Today, he asks them if the trip they haven’t told anyone they’d be taking was fun, tomorrow who knows what he will grow bold enough to do. Though they could have phrased it more diplomatically, considering his complete disregard of their comfort, the Producer didn’t feel the need to care much for Mika’s feelings, either. Another positive aspect of the one-on-one meeting – they didn’t have to worry about seeming unprofessional. And those were their final words to him, they were certain as they turned their back to him, reaching for the door.

But it only took a fraction of a second. Mika himself hadn't actually thought the action through, but in a moment he leapt up and towards them, encasing them in a back-hug. "Cruel… yer so cruel…!" he whispered, his voice cracking. "Please, I get it's my fault, but I can fix m'self… I can be good, please, I promise," he stuttered out. "Please, don't abandon Valkyrie… don't abandon me, (Y/N)- no, Producer! See? 'M really honest ‘bout tryin' my best!" "Get off me!" The Producer, on the other hand, was completely uncomfortable. They tried to shake him off, worming themselves around enough to pry their arms out of his grip. They turned to face Mika and deservingly punched him in the nose. With a yelp, he let go, his hands now pressing onto the assaulted area. A warm wetness, smeared droplets of blood glistened on his palm – it wasn’t a lot of blood, it wasn’t even a particularly hard punch, but enough to make him feel light-headed. "You… you hit me…” he choked out with a newly-nasally voice. “… You hit me!” he repeated as if he couldn’t believe it, as if he was trying to convince himself that it truly happened. Their eyes met. Mika’s widened, quivering gaze, and the Producer’s burning, yet equally shocked glare. Though the Producer was more shocked at Mika’s appearance than their own actions.

His cheeks were already red and blotchy, lips trembling in a frown, and those striking mismatched eyes were now emphasised further by his bloodshot, irritated sclerae. "I just wanted to- to…" he hiccupped, the crystalline tears that gathered in his eyes threatening to spill over, "I… I just… y’re so cruel!" And the dam broke. Mika's whole torso shook as he sobbed, one fist clenching over his chest while the other was busy catching the blood still dripping from his nose. "Y’re so cruel to me!" he accused, blamed. Again and again, as if he was trying to distance himself from his own mistreatment of the Producer, however much he thought said behaviour was good, by begging for sympathy. The Producer, not wanting anything to do with his outburst (and though they could reasonably explain the punch as self-defence, they still feared repercussions), was about ready to run off. Yet, once more, Mika stopped them. Mika, who had now thrown himself on the floor in front of them, grabbing at their legs to keep them from moving. Like a spoilt child, he clung to their knees, pulling down and towards him to the point that they felt like their legs were going to give out and they’d fall on him. It took all their strength to keep themselves upright in that moment – they would have never guessed Mika had that much strength in him.

"Don't leave! Please, don't leave me!" His speech was slurred even more than usual, made almost incomprehensible by the whines and sobs that accented them. He was getting choked up, barely breathing at this point. "I'll change, I'll be good, please, Producer, ple-ease, jus’ tell me wha’ta do t’ make ya stay! I'll do anythin’, please!" Frankly, between his desperate pleas and the way he was gripping the Producer's legs, squeezing the veins until they were near-ready to burst and form bruises, it was becoming pathetic. Repulsive. "I'm not gonna be a cr-creep anymore, please!" Mika's face was now fully laid against the Producer's thigh – which the Producer was not happy about in the least. They could feel his tears, blood, spit and snot soak through the fabric, and it just disgusted them. Recoiling, they tried to shake him off, first by pushing at his shoulders, then, when he only clung harder, by trying to kick him off, all to no avail. Reduced to a most undignified state, Mika was begging them to stay through loud, gross sobs, making promises he had already broken many times, promises that the Producer knew he wouldn’t keep. It made them regret choosing a one-on-one meeting. Surely, he wouldn’t be making such a scene if only they had convinced Shu to accompany them.

“I said let go!” “Not ‘til ya promise to give me another chance! Please!” His nails were digging into their skin even through the fabric, he clung to them desperately, as if he were drowning and they were the only thing keeping him afloat. With eyes filled to the brim with overflowing tears, he looked up at them. Truly, a beyond pathetic sight. “Please, don’abandon me, don’t hate me! Y’can hit me an’ yell at me an’ insult me more if ya wanna, but, please, just don’t leave me!” “You’re making me uncomfortable,” the Producer was firm, “let go this instant, or I’m going to… report you or something!” They were moments away from losing it, from screaming and yelling, but they kept that semblance of professionality that was trained so well into them. They refused to debase themselves by behaving like an animal – like he was behaving – though they were aware and ready to defend themselves with another punch if needed. The Producer tried to pry him off once more, but Mika didn’t budge. He only wailed louder, now fully hugging and squeezing his arms around the Producer’s knees. It felt like they were moving in circles, and even the Producer started feeling desperate. Ashamed. But they had to shake that feeling off – Mika wasn’t the victim here; he was only facing the consequences for his vile disregards of normal human decency. Despite Mika’s arms making it difficult to move, they managed just enough to hit his shoulder with their knee. This proved to be enough for him to let go momentarily, and the Producer took advantage of that to push him away from themselves. As he was already unstable in the position on his knees, it didn’t take much effort to push him on his behind once the support gained through the Producer’s legs was taken away. He stumbled backwards with an oomph, eyes squeezed shut.

“There’s something seriously wrong with you,” the Producer accused, vitriol in their voice, “and I don’t want anything to do with it.” “Don’say that…” Mika tried his best to wipe his tears with the back of his hand, sniffling and blubbering, though he ended up looking more of a mess with what was left of his nosebleed, mixed with his tears, now smeared on one of his cheeks. And the tears just kept falling, besides. He didn’t try to get up. “Don’t… sa-ay that…” he gasped out, the force of his cries making it hard to breathe. He was shaking his head in denial, bringing his hands up to pull on his hair. He didn’t want this to happen, he never wanted this to happen – they were never supposed to look at him with such repulsion. The dull throbbing in his temples signalled the beginnings of a headache, and his mouth was still filled with saliva as well as the blood that passed through his throat instead of his nostrils. “Even though I love ya like this… Why’re ya-” he hiccupped, unceremoniously choking on his spit. “Even though I lo-ove ya…” “Are you serious? Ew.” The Producer couldn’t help but cringe. “Is that why you were so sleazy this whole time? Because you liked me?!” They found it disturbing. The things Mika was doing to them – from the stalking to the violent jealousy over them – none of it was what a sane person would do to someone they liked. “I wasn’t… ‘M sorry, I’m…” a wheeze, “‘M sorry, I just wan-wanted ya to love me back, I dun want’cha to ha-ate me…” With every rasp, every cough, he shivered and pawed at his chest, trying to ease the pain in his lungs, trying to breathe. But his breath hitched, his throat kept closing up, and the slimy spit that filled his mouth as a result of all the crying didn’t help. Mika kept his eyes to the floor, ashamed to look at the Producer in that state. To say he didn’t quite plan on confessing like this goes without saying. He felt like his whole world was turned upside-down, like his whole life was swiftly ruined in a matter of minutes. “Good thing I switched, then. That’s so… Revolting.” “Stop…” He felt humiliated. Taking a deep, shaky breath, he finally leaned forward, grasping desperately at the linoleum floors. He was shivering like he was running a nasty fever, leaning on one hand while the other clutched his mouth. Desperately trying to hold in his sobs, he didn’t want to repulse his Producer any more than he already did. But even just that – the realisation that he repulsed them – made him want to sob even louder, made him want to cry and scream until his voice goes hoarse. He didn’t want this. His head was about to burst, his eyes and throat burnt, he was tired. He was tired.

Mika had no idea that this was what his day was going to turn into when he received word from his (now former) Producer about this meeting. Even at his most pessimistic, he would never have guessed that he would find himself crawling on the floor like a cockroach – a small, worthless, disgusting abomination – slobbering, bleeding, crying, while they only looked at him. He was afraid to meet their eyes again, to see their expression, but he did. He wished he hadn’t. There was no empathy, no patience, no warmth in their eyes. They looked at him only with disgust. They looked downright revolted by the sight of Mika. He sometimes wondered, maybe even fantasised about it – his Producer looking at him as if he was less than human, mistreating him, insulting him. Just a (somewhat) innocent idea he entertained during the slower hours of his part-time jobs, a concept he initially thought exhilarating. But experiencing it was completely different to thinking about it. Maybe it was because, in his mind, the Producer loved him back, maybe because his thoughts were of his own fully controlled world. Maybe because he was used to his Teacher’s criticisms always holding a certain degree of affection to them, that he expected it would be the same with the Producer. But it wasn’t. And there he now laid, crying and begging for mercy, for them to see from his point of view, to see how much he loves them, that he’d do anything for them, that he doesn’t deserve this. But nothing the real Producer was saying was out of love. The opposite, actually. It made chills run down his spine, and another round of waterworks come on. The tears ran easier down his already wettened cheeks, and he looked away once more, feeling as if his depravity had stripped him of the right to gaze at them, to behold them. He loves them, but they’re disgusted with him. “You hate me…” he whispered, rubbing his face, trying desperately to wipe away the tears that were overflowing faster than he could catch them. “I do.” His breaths were becoming more and more unstable, painful. He was trying to keep his sobs in, but all it did was tighten his chest – all it did was hurt him further. Mika’s heart was about to burst, split into a million tiny little pieces. He was certain he was dying – but he’d have preferred that to this humiliation, this injustice. Mika was certain he didn’t do anything wrong, that his love was so pure, so honest. He thought that all that he was doing, his interest in the Producer’s private life, remembering the small details about them, keeping them safe, he thought that all that would only endear him to them. That, when he finally confessed, they would know he was the one because of all those actions. And instead, he’s being degraded, humiliated, insulted and rejected.

“I’m leaving. Don’t ever talk to me again.” The room was spinning around him, he was sure he couldn’t even feel his legs anymore, feeling lost, feeling disoriented. Feeling wronged. But he could clearly see them turning and leaving, not even sparing him a second glance. “Wait, (Y/N)-chan, wait, please-!” He tried to get up, but his knees buckled, and he was back on the floor in moments. He felt so helpless. Beaten and broken, deprived of what he felt was owed to him, what he felt he deserved. Instead of his Producer’s loving embrace, all he had was the cold floor and his tears. “Wait, please, don’ leave me… Don’ leave me!” he pleaded desperately, nauseatingly. In vain. And the door slammed shut. And the idol was alone.