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goodbyecringe · 4 years ago

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(Un)Natural Selection Chapter 18

Éponine

Enjolras spent the plane ride jumping from each Elite girl arranging date after date. I knew forcing the kiss last night would throw him over the edge. He would have never considered me to be anything more than his political partner if I hadn’t initiated that kiss. I could tell that he was questioning how long he would keep me in the Selection and I wasn’t here with the right intentions. But I must have offended him because he hadn’t made eye contact with me since we boarded the plane.

I fidgeted with the black sleeves on my dress until Cosette moved to sit across from me. She, like the rest of The Elite, was in a conservative black dress that had long sleeves, since the weather had begun to grow colder. I had never seen her in any remotely dark color, but even in black, she radiated positivity. We sat together in silence preparing for the solemn occasion while Claudia made rounds to each group of girls to brief them about the proper protocol.

“Under absolutely no circumstance should you smile, grin, doze off, or move your eyes excessively. You are not to take any of the attention away from Prince Enjolras and the meaning of this trip,” Claudia said in a serious tone.

“Where should we look? Should we look directly at Enjolras or out into the crowd?” Cosette asked.

I would have never been able to think of that question.

“I would encourage you to give your attention to His Highness. If the press believes you’re disinterested they might try to create a new story.”

Cosette gave a deep nod of understanding.

“Do you have any questions Miss Éponine?” Claudia asked.

I felt like I had to come up with something, even if Claudia would berate me for it.

“How should we sit? Are we all tucking our left or right ankles?” I asked.

“Well you will all be sitting stage right, so I would recommend universally tucking the right ankle so it points to His Highness,” she thought, bringing her hand to her face.

“What a great question, Éponine! I would have tucked my left ankle,” Cosette lied to make me look better in front of Claudia.

Claudia quickly began to clarify with the other Elite so there wouldn’t be any misconceptions about how we were to sit. I rolled my eyes as Cosette laughed.

“You didn’t have to lie just to save me from the wrath of Claudia,” I smiled.

“I didn’t lie, the nuns taught me that lying is never acceptable. I really could have tucked my left ankle,” she shrugged as I rolled my eyes.

We sat in silence, watching Enjolras move from May to a solitary seat towards the front of the plane. I could only assume that he had exhausted himself socializing with all of the girls so quickly.

“Don’t you think it’s refreshing to be out of the palace, Éponine?” Cosette asked.

“I guess. I don’t really mind being stuck in the palace all of the time.”

“Yes, it is rather beautiful. But I did start to get cabin fever a few months ago, but thanks to Enjolras I can now go out to the garden whenever I want,” she smiled.

I was surprised to hear that since none of the Selected girls were permitted in the gardens without permission due to safety concerns. Enjolras had bent the rules for Cosette, so were they closer than I had realized? Then again, Enjolras bent the rules for me every time I went to a meeting with Les Amis.

“When is your next date?” I slipped, not thinking before I spoke.

“He wants to go horseback riding after breakfast tomorrow. Listening to the other girls it sounds like he has a busy week ahead of him,” she frowned.

“What’s wrong with that?” I asked, wondering what had upset the usually bubbly Cosette.

“I’m just worried that Enjolras doesn’t reciprocate any of our feelings. I mean he’s jumping about to make all of these dates so quickly that I’m not sure what's going through his head,” she frowned, looking out of the window.

“Do you love him?”

“He’s very kind to me and I can tell that he cares about me, but I don’t know if I would say I’m in love with him. Papa told me that when you’re in love, you just know. I’ve read books that say when you fall in love it’s like being born again and it’s like nothing else matters. Have you ever felt like that?”

“I think, maybe a little,” I smiled.

I felt my face heat up as I began to picture Marius, who had been so kind to me since we met. Of course, Enjolras was also kind and generous, but he felt more like an intellectual challenge than my soulmate. Whenever I became sad or angry I knew that his calming letters could fix any situation. Even the pictures of Paris had become a sanctuary after listening to Teresa brag for several hours in the Women’s Room. And even though my life would be forever changed for good if I won the Selection and married Enjolras, Marius was different. We didn’t spend any of our time talking about politics, even though Marius was a lawyer. We spoke about poems and the worlds we wished we could live in. Marius was the only person that knew of my family’s origin. And yet, despite knowing my horrible secret, and he still wrote to me regularly.

When we landed in Carolina, there were more press members than I had ever seen, even more than the day I flew to Angeles. We were instructed to keep a solemn expression as long as we remained in the public eye, to express the seriousness of the occasion. The airport was louder than anything I could remember. Reporters were screaming their questions at all of us and while some of them focused on the crime, most of them concerned the Selection.

“Lady Teresa, who are you wearing?”

“Lady Adele, have you and the Prince kissed?”

“Lady Éponine, how does it feel to cheat the caste system?”

I felt the anger begin to grow so hot that my blood could boil. Illeá was divided on a Six making The Elite. Some thought that I was the perfect picture of Lower Caste representation while others thought that I was a greedy, heartless whore that had slept my way to the top. But both sides were wrong because I wasn’t pristine or heartless. But the longer I was in the palace the more I agreed that the money was a large influence and after last night’s kiss, how far would I go to stay here? Justine had written to me that there was enough money for Azelma, Mercer, and me to attend the most expensive university in Illeá. I didn’t have anything to gain by staying in The Selection any longer. Although, as I sat on the stage with my right ankle tucked I remembered what Enjolras said last night.

He didn’t want me to leave, even after I told him that I was a Six. I had completely forgotten that Enjolras knew I was just like any other servant that worked in the palace. I stared at him while he delivered an emotional and empowering speech on the importance of unity. His blonde curls appeared darker, like the circles under his eyes, showing that he hadn’t slept after he left my room. I noticed that here he stood firm and tall which opposed how he spoke wildly with his hands at the Cafe. Was I really the only member of the Elite that had seen the real Enjolras? Did Enjolras bring the other girls to kitchens to make them sandwiches? Was he lying when he said he didn’t have feelings for me?

Just as Enjolras began to reach the conclusion of his speech I could hear the crowd begin to scream. Enjolras stopped speaking, something I had never seen unless it was me that interrupted him. A loud bang rang through the crowd and all hell broke loose. Citizens ran in every direction trying to move to safety away from the shooter. Another gunshot rang through the area and my body began to move before I could control it. I felt myself jump past the guards that were beginning to shield the Elite and Enjolras. I felt my heel snap beneath my weight as I collided with the Reports that were fleeing.

I smelled him before he grabbed me. The smell of alcohol and cigarettes brought me back sleepless nights on the pull-out couch while Azelma snored lightly. All of the memories of screaming matches, beatings, and the slow-burning pains associated with being a human ashtray made me stop in my tracks. My father grabbed me by my arm and marched me into one of the many buildings that surrounded City Hall. The knife pointed into my side would tighten whenever I would try to fight him and eventually Babet caught up to us so he could hold his gun to my back. When we finally reached our destination, I was handcuffed to a pole on the wall.

“Are you crazy?” I screamed at my father before he slapped me across my face.

“You don’t write, you don’t call, if I didn’t know any better I would say you’ve been avoiding your dear Papa,” he growled.

“Well it’s good to know there really is something in the space between your ears,” I spit at him.

“You little brat, I’ll kill you right here!” He screamed, holding the knife to my neck.

“Go ahead. I’m sure you’ll get away even though the Royal Family would pool all of their resources to find my killer. Your little gang would be discovered and you would all hang,” I snarled.

My face was numb after the third slap.

“Listen here you brat, you’re going to do a job for us. Call it insurance, in case that Prince finds himself a better hussy for his bed. You’re going to start giving Montparnasse the attention he deserves or you’ll get some well-deserved visits. Of course, you should know that If you tell anyone, you can kiss your loverboy goodbye,” he sneered.

I wanted to scream but I was being suffocated as something was held over my face. Everything was becoming fuzzy as I felt myself slipping into unconsciousness. When I woke up, it felt like a fever dream. Joly and Combeferre were above my head having a serious discussion.

“We should tell Enjolras about these scars and burns. She was clearly being abused before she came here,” Combeferre whispered.

“That would violate confidentiality, ‘Ferre. We can’t make exceptions to the rule,” Joly refuted.

“If Enjolras knew how bad it really was he might stop ignoring his feelings for ‘Ponine. If his mother didn’t tell him that he needed to see the other Elite, he’d probably stayed here until she was discharged.”

My mind started racing just as everything began to go fuzzy again.

#enjonine #eponine #enjolras #prince enjolras #the selection #les miserables #fanfiction #crossov #crossposted #ao3 #combeferre #joly #modern au

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theromancewatcher100 · 6 years ago

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Michael Jackson: The Facts

Alright y’all the Leaving Neverland documentary controversy was really starting to get to me. It’s so difficult knowing what to believe so I decided to do some research of my own, something I suggest everyone does before making a judgment based on one documentary. It doesn’t matter what I think but I believe the facts here speak for themselves so I’ve collated a big list of all the current evidence that’s been going around recently. Read it and then make up your mind. Feel free to add anything if you like. Thanks.

*****************

Action to sue James Safechuck SNR for almost $1 million was filed on the 26th April 2013. Stephanie Safechuck had shares. James Safechuck Snr was served on the 14th of May 2013. Wade Robson appeared on the Today show on the 16th May 2013. James Safechuck Jnr sees it and realizes he also had been abused.

Michael Jackson was not living in California when the abuse supposedly took place.

Wade Robson had to ask his mother over twenty questions about his first few nights with Michael Jackson because he couldn’t remember

For the court case in 2005, a psychological profile was performed on Michael Jackson. A forensic psychologist from the University of Cincinnati named Michael Borack evaluated many pedophiles and said that Michael did not fit the profile. Borack stated, ‘His eccentric behavior is not typical of most offenders’. He went on to say, ‘most offenders are normal people who could be your neighbours’, not anyone we would consider weird. He also stated that ‘most paedophiles will keep toys or other such appealing items around to lure children, but they do not usually play with the items themselves’. Michael thoroughly partook in playing and enjoying games and toys surrounding him for his own personal enjoyment.

Safechuck’s mother says in 2009 she danced when Michael Jackson died because she knew he’d never hurt another child, even though her son didn’t realise he was abused until 2013.

Wade Robson says they visited Neverland hundreds of times. But he had said in court that they only went to Neverland 14 times. Michael was there 4 times out of the 14.

Safechuck in his lawsuit claimed he was abused by Jackson in New York in 1989 after he performed at the Grammy’s. But the Grammy’s were in Los Angeles that year and Jackson didn’t perform at the Grammy’s in 1989.

Safechuck said in 1987 he spent Thanksgiving with Jackson at his home. But Jackson was in Australia doing the Bad tour at the time

Prior to his death Michael Jackson was investigated by the FBI for 13 years and found nothing. 72 officers and 50 FBI agents

Found innocent at 2 trials

Michael’s bodyguard, Bill Whitfield has defended him stating, ‘everyone that knows me knows that if I believed or knew MJ would harm a child I would not have worked for him. As his personal security, I would have known if something wasn’t cool and trust me I would’ve kicked his ass myself! As I protected him in life I will protect his honour in death #igotyourbacksir’.

James stated that ‘Michael didn’t want us spending any time with women and cut contact with me after puberty’. Photographic evidence exists of James, Michael and his then current wife Lisa Marie Presley with James holding an umbrella for Michael

Wade stated that ‘I was molested by Michael between ages 7 and 14’. Wade is now 36 so the abuse happened between 1989 and 1996. So, the abuse happened during the Jordie Chandler investigation and during Michael’s marriage to Lisa Marie Presley - with the FBI finding nothing.

Manipulated footage of Michael exists. Michael was being honoured at the Regent hotel and supposedly recorded a message for Wade wishing him a Happy Birthday with Michael saying, ‘hello Wade, today is your birthday’. The video at the Regent Hotel was recorded on the 20th February 1990 while Wade’s birthday is on the 7th of September with the original video being intended for Elizabeth Taylor.

Wade defended Michael 3 times: 1993, 2003 and 2009

Wade has changed his story 4 times. During the first, he stated that Michael threatened and manipulated him that they’ll go to jail if he said anything. The second was that Wade didn’t realise he’d been abused. The third was that Wade felt shame. And the fourth was that Wade always knew what Michael did but didn’t realise it was bad.

James also has changed his story twice. He said that Michael and his people were threatening him to keep quiet and James refused to testify but he and his mum knew he had been abused. The second time he said that he didn’t realise he had been abused until 2014.

Wade had also maintained a relationship with Michael Jackson’s niece, which wasn’t mentioned in the documentary, Brandi Jackson and cheated on her with Britney Spears to get ahead in the fame game.

Mike Smallcombe who wrote the 2016 book Making Michael: Inside the Career of Michael Jackson has accused James Safechuck of lying about his involvement in the 2005 trial. In the documentary, Safechuck said he refused to testify. However, Smallcombe stated that ‘in the documentary, Safechuck claims Jackson called him ‘near the end of the trial’ and asked him to testify on his behalf once again as he had done in 1993. Safechuck said he refused and that Jackson then got ‘really angry’ and threatened him. He repeated this claim under oath, in his ongoing lawsuit against the Jackson estate. However, it simply can’t be true. Very early on in the trial, the judge ruled that he would allow the jury to hear about five boys whom the prosecution claimed were sexually abused by Jackson’. Smallcombe claimed that Jordan Chandler, Brett Barnes, Jason Francia, and Macaulay Culkin were among the boys asked to testify in court, adding that the judge presiding over the case had said Safechuck’s evidence would not be permitted. ‘The judge came to this decision because nobody had ever claimed they had seen Safechuck being abused’. This meant Jackson could not have asked him to testify at any point, but particularly not months after he had been ruled out as a witness when the trial was near its end. Smallcombe also claimed that both Robson and Safechuck are in debt to Jackson’s estate after they tried to bring lawsuits against it in 2013 and 2014 respectively, both of which were thrown out. ‘Robson owes the estate almost $70,000 million dollars in court costs, and Safechuck owes the estate several thousand dollars as well. Both Robson and Safechuck should have been questioned about their motives for trying to get hundreds of millions of dollars in damages from the estate. These things should have been put to them in the documentary, or by journalists in their television interviews. We still need to challenge, especially when there are credibility issues’

In 2005 he was found not guilty in regards to allegations of sexual abuse of another 13-year-old Gavin Arvizo.

Wade Robson’s allegations of child sex abuse against Michael Jackson have reportedly been disproved by his own mother in historic court documents. Mike Smallcombe, a Michael Jackson biographer claims a testimony from Joy in 1993 shows some of Wade’s allegations in the documentary cannot be true. Wade claimed the abuse started when his family went to the Grand Canyon and he stayed behind with Jackson. But Smallcombe claims his mother Joy told a court in 1993 that Wade did not join them on the trip. He argues that Joy’s testimony under oath is proof that Wade has lied. Smallcombe said, ‘in the documentary, Wade Robson described how he and his then 10-year-old sister stayed in Jackson’s bedroom the first two nights they were ever at Neverland in January in 1990. Wade the claimed that his family left to go to the Grand Canyon, while he stayed behind with Jackson alone at Neverland for the next five days. Wade claimed it was then when he was first abused by Jackson, going into graphic detail about what had allegedly happened over the course of several nights. His mother, Joy Robson testified under oath in a deposition in 1993/ 1994 in relation to the Jordie Chandler case that Wade had actually gone with them on that trip to the Grand Canyon before the entire family returned to Neverland for the second time the following weekend. Joy Robson had no reason to lie about this; she openly admitted that Wade stayed with Jackson alone on other occasions. She could have said, ‘Wade stayed behind with Michael when we went away to the Grand Canyon between weekends’, it wouldn’t have made a difference. Her words in that deposition were ‘we went to the ranch for the first weekend, and then we left and went to the Grand Canyon and we toured. We came back to the ranch for the following weekend’. She was asked to elaborate on who had gone to the Grand Canyon, and she said ‘my family’. There was no mention of Wade staying behind. To confirm this, later on, revealed that the first time Wade stayed alone with Jackson at the ranch without her was actually in 1993. She said, ‘my son has never been to the ranch without me up until this year (1993)’. Smallcombe said that when testifying in defence of Jackson in 2005, more than a decade after his mother’s deposition, Wade also testified that the only time he had been at Neverland without his mother was sometime in 1992 or 1993 when Macaulay Culkin and Jordie Chandler was also there. Smallcombe said, ‘when giving evidence and asked if his sister had stayed in the bed with him ‘the entire them’ they were at Neverland on that first trip, Wade answered ‘yes’. Meaning he never stayed alone with Jackson during that trip. HIs mum corroborated that when giving evidence the following day’. Smallcombe said that Wade admitted that he ‘did not know’ whether what happened that night ‘came from (his) own recollection of it was told to (him) by someone else’. In one email his mother, he also asked her scores of questions about what had happened that first weekend at Neverland. That was when Wade was drafting a book about the alleged abuse, having to get the Cirque du Soleil job with the estate. All of this shows that Wade’s story about being abused for the first time, while the rest of his family had supposedly left the ranch to go the Grand Canyon, is false. Of course, while this doesn’t categorically rule out that Jackson abused Wade Robson, it does make you wonder if this extremely detailed and key story in the documentary has been fabricated’

#leaving neverland #michael jackson #wade robson #james safechuck #evidence #allegations #facts #documentary #controversy

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lilacsolanum · 7 years ago

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Animorphs October: Parents

Set sometime around or directly before #5.

Jean Blumenthal and Eva Ruiz had been inseperable long before they became Jean Berenson and — well, Eva Ruiz, because that’s just the sort of person Eva was. Eva did not change or bend for anyone. Within the first twenty-four hours of their introductions Eva had the bookish and shy Jean dancing with a stranger, all while wearing a halter top and floral print pants that sat VERY low on the hip. Eva pulled people into her orbit, and anyone who was chosen by her loved it. Eva had coaxed Jean out of a shell Jean hadn’t even known she’d built. Jean’s return influence on Eva was, at most, occasionally convincing her not to punch someone. Being Eva Ruiz’s best friend was a point of pride for Jean, even if Eva was constantly on the verge of getting Jean killed or worse — ruining her perfect GPA.

Eva had delighted in Jean’s easy pregnancy with Tom, and Jean had commiserated with Eva through her two miscarriages. They carried Marco and Jake together, two old friends happily swapping stories about the secret realities of pregnancy men never wanted to know about. Eva’s pregnancy with Marco was tumultuous, and Eva was constantly afraid she’d loose this one, too. She never told Peter her fears, because Peter had never been able to handle Eva at her weakest, and Eva had never enjoyed the moments where Peter saw her for an imperfect woman. Only Jean was allowed into that world, and only Jean had permission to hold Eva when she cried.

Marco had come out a few weeks early, but otherwise intact. Jake soon followed, and the two women never gave the two children a chance to not be best friends. When they were little, before their personalities and individualities had truly settled, Jean and Eva referred to Marco and Jake as their “twins”, even if they could not be physically more different. As the boys grew, Jean and Eva could not stop talking about how their friendship was a complete role reversal of their own. Jake was far more likely to be found stuck up a tree with Marco standing at the base, Marco’s his arms crossed over his chest and Marco saying, “I told you so.” However, when it came to spinning lies and protecting one another, it was well known that Marco shared Eva’s cunning. Jean had been embarrassingly outsmarted by that child more times than she cared to admit.

Losing Eva had hit all the Berensons, and hard. Jean still had dreams about her. Dreams where Eva’s death had been Jean’s fault, dreams where Eva’s death was all an elaborate prank and they celebrated, dreams where Eva had never died at all. Yet Jean had moved on. She had seen a grief counselor and had worked through her pain.

Peter had not.

Jean was driving Marco home after finding him in Jake’s room after midnight. A sleepover had not been permitted or discussed. Jean had all but physically pulled Marco out of Jake’s bedroom and thrown him into the car. He sat in her passenger seat, sulking, looking overly stressed and thin.

She knew, exactly, why Marco stayed with Jake so often. She normally let it slide. She and Steve provided their boys with stable, warm meals, meals that were cooked by an adult with an adult’s practice and did not come from a Kraft box. They had a basketball hoop in the yard and video game systems and cable, all things Peter had taken from Marco with his irresponsibility. Jean provided a warm home, and Peter provided nothing at all.

Jean had never truly seen the appeal in Peter. In her heart of hearts, she believe Eva had settled for someone steady rather than find someone who was a true match for her. Eva hadn’t grown up with much money, and had a lot of anxiety about it as a result. With Peter, she never had to worry. Peter made more money sneezing than Jean and Steve made all year combined, and Eva loved nothing more than spending it while knowing she’d still have enough left over to eat. It didn’t make her a gold digger, not exactly, but the security of Peter’s sturdiness gave Eva a deep seated sense of comfort. However, comfort was not happiness, and Jean had always resented Peter a little. Eva had been too good for him. Eva had deserved nothing less than the stars themselves, and Peter was little more than a practical garden shrub.

Jean had been learning more and more about Peter’s state lately. She knew that he and Marco had moved to the bad part of town, which was horrifying enough, but she hadn’t known the full details as to what extent Peter had given up. Peter did not cook. Peter did not clean. Peter did nothing but lie on a couch, lost to himself, and Marco was forced to care for his own father. It was abhorrent. It had to end.

Jean made Marco let her inside. He was loathe to do so, and clearly resented Jean more than ever. Jean recognized the look. She’d seen it on Eva’s face countless time, when she told Eva it was time to go home from the club, or demanded Eva put out that cigarette. She had long since grown immune to that look.

The first thing she noticed about the apartment was how sparse it was. Where had all of Eva’s meticulously chosen furniture gone? The second thing was that the whole apartment smelled like stale nicotine, and she started feeling nauseous. The third thing she noticed was that Peter was asleep on the couch.

“Does he not have a bedroom?” asked Eva.

Marco crossed his arms. “No,” he said after a moment, as if he had been scanning his mind for a way out of the question but hadn’t come up with one. “The bedroom’s mine, can I go to it, Jean?”

“Please do,” she said, ignoring the emphasis on her name over the word ‘mom.’ Jean and Eva used to be called mom by all their boys. Now, Marco was reminded her that she was anything but. He stormed off, his anger running far too deeply for any one thirteen-year-old. Jean watched him go, listened to the door slam, and then she kicked Peter awake.

He sat up slowly, running his face over his hands. “What are you doing here?” he asked Jean. They hadn’t seen each other in a year and a half.

“Your son was at my house tonight,” she hissed, keeping her voice low so that Marco could not hear.

“Oh,” said Peter blearily. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s midnight,” said Jean. “Midnight. Did you have any idea he was with Jake? At all?”

Peter blinked, looking at the nearest clock. There wasn’t one, not really. Jean watched as his eyes fell on the VCR, which blinked 12:00, as if Peter wasn’t one of the most brilliant engineers of the decade and did not know how to program a VCR clock. “He probably told me,” he muttered.

Jean sighed, and started walking around the apartment. She opened the refrigerator door, and light flooded the apartment’s kitchenette. This revealed a gaggle of roaches that had been enjoying the darkness. They all scattered to various other hidden places in the kitchen, and Jean tried not to scream. When she looked inside the fridge, she saw nothing but a carton of milk, a loaf of bread, a jar of mayonnaise and a container of lunch meat. Bright blue price stickers were on every item. They weren’t even shopping at a proper grocery store, they were shopping at a convenience store. Jean was sure neither of them had had a fresh vegetable since Eva’s had passed.

“What is this Peter,” she said, finding a small sort of pleasure in a addressing him with the amount of disdain she’d always wanted to address him with. “Is it drinking? Is that what you’re doing?”

“What? No!” said Peter shortly. “I don’t drink.”

“You used to,” said Jean, closing the refrigerator door. “You used to do a lot of things. Like, oh, I don’t know. Have a job. Care for your family.”

“I have a job,” said Peter.

“Uh-huh,” said Jean. “The prodigy Peter Champlin, cleaning toilets at the local office tower.” She went to an untouched pile of mail and opened up an envelope. This got Peter to stand up.

“Hey!” he said, his voice raising just slightly. “You can’t go through my mail!”

Jean ignored him, and held up the letter she’d just opened up. “Past due? Really? You?”

Peter went silent.

Jean slammed the notice on the table, breathing heavily through her nose. She rested her palms on the table and leaned forward, forcing herself to calm down. When she looked back up at Peter, her face was red. “This is no environment for a child. Not at all.”

“It works for us,” said Peter.

Jean slammed her palms against the table. “It doesn’t,” she hissed. She didn’t yell, because she did not want Marco to eavesdrop, but Peter flinched backward all the same. Jean did not often get angry, and when she did, she made it count.

“Eva and I created Jake and Marco side-by-side,” said Jean. “He’s as much my son as he is yours. And he’s unhappy. Do you understand that? As parents, we have one job. We try to give our children with happiness and strength. That is it. That is all. You have failed that. Do you have a pen?”

“I’m — I’m not sure,” mumbled Peter. He was clearly avoiding looking directly at Jean.

Jean took a deep breath and then pushed herself away from the table. She found Marco’s backpack at the front entrance, abandoned and untouched since he’d gotten home from school. This was another thing that shocked her about Peter’s negligence. No matter what Eva did the night before, Eva always made it to class, always did her work, and always got an A. Marco, according to Jake and Marco himself, prided himself on exactly how much homework he refused to do. Jean pulled a pencil out of a pocket, and then wrote down a name and number on Peter’s overdue notice.

“This is my therapist,” said Jean. “Call him. Whatever you’re doing needs to stop. You go and get your — your shit together,” she said, spitting on the word ‘shit’, because Jean Berenson did not swear unless her hand was forced. “Get it together, or else I will drain oceans and move mountains to ensure that your son lives with anyone but you.”

Peter numbly took the number from Jean’s hand. “Okay,” he said.

“That is not an empty threat,” said Jean, gathering up her things. “Try me.”

If Eva was not there to protect Marco with a mother’s wrath, Jean would do it for her.

#animorphs #animorphs october #if Marco and Jake have been BFFs since they were in diapers #then that mean their families knew each other #I've been wanting to write a Jean smack down on Peter for forever #and also expand on the headcanon that appeared to me when writing Tell Me I'm Okay #that the Berensons knew and loved Eva #and Jake doesn't make a big deal out of it because she want HIS mom #but she kind of was #I love the Ani parents

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queen-of-deans-booty · 8 years ago

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Wendigo- Part 1

Pairing: Eventual Dean x Reader

Word Count: 3,230

Warnings: Typical Supernatural violence, angst (a lot), language, minor character death, blood, you know the usual

Summary: Still on the hunt for John Winchester, you and the boys find yourselves in the middle of the woods, hunted by a creature with no mercy. You not only have yourself to protect but three other strangers.

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Please, if you want to be tagged for this series, let me know and I’ll add you! If you want to be tagged for my other fics, I’ll add you! I want to hear what you guys think about this.

Read the backstory for this episode here. You don’t have to read it first but it is highly encouraged.

Feedback is always appreciated

Tags at the bottom

It broke your heart to see Sam this sad. It’s been days since Jessica died and poor thing was having nightmares about her and there was nothing you could do about it. All your life, when Dean wasn’t, Sam was always there for you. You didn’t know Jessica at all but you knew she meant a damn lot to him.

The only person you’ve ever loved besides your om and John, was Dean and you were thankful he wasn’t dead. You couldn’t even imagine what Sam was going through because there was a big difference between mothers and girlfriends.

Sam was losing sleep and you knew it so you made Dean keep the radio down so Sam could get some sleep in the car.

“You think he’ll be okay?” You asked Dean as he drove. Once Jess died, he decided that he didn’t want to go to the interview anymore. He was hell bent on getting revenge. You didn’t like seeing him this way but you understood a little.

“I hope.” Dean replied. You sighed and watched as Sam shot awake, as if he had a nightmare.

“You okay?” You asked him, hoping he would tell the truth.

“I’m fine.” Sam breathed heavily. You watched with worried eyes as this unfolded.

“Another nightmare?” Dean gave him the side eye but turned his attention to the road. Sam refused to answer and looked out the window. You slid yourself closer to him, resting your head on the seat, looking at him.

“Sam?” You whispered. He turned his head and looked at you in the eye. You could see tears threatening to fall but he didn’t say a word. “I’m right here. I’ll be your shoulder to cry on.” You smiled softly and moved some hair out of his face before placing a kiss on his cheek. He seemed to lean into your touch but that was short lived when Dean spoke.

“You want to drive?” Dean asked his brother.

“Hey!” You looked at Dean. “You never ask me that. Do you not trust me?” You playfully glared at him. Sam smiled and you were glad that you could put it there, even if it was temporary.

“Dean, your whole life you never asked me that once.” Sam shook his head.

“Never mind, then, I thought you might want to and sweetheart, you’re a terrible driver.”

“I crashed this car one time and that was when I was 16. I’m 26 now and I’m fully capable to drive a car.” You rolled your eyes playfully, sitting back into the seat.

“Whatever you say, sweetheart.” You caught Dean’s eyes through the rearview mirror and you bit back a smile.

“All right, where are we?” Sam grabbed the map that Dean wrote on.

“Just outside of Grand Junction.” Dean answered. Sam shook his head and sighed.

“You know what? Maybe we shouldn’t have left Stanford so soon.” You looked at Sam, scooting closer to him.

“Sam, we did all that we could possibly do there. The thing that killed Jessica, killed your mom and with that happening around the time your dad disappearing, that can’t be a coincidence.” You put a hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah, dad will have answers once we find him. Now we got a job to do.” Dean said, driving along the long stretch of road.

“Yeah, about that, this seems off.” Sam commented.

“What do you mean?” You asked.

“This is Blackwater Ridge. It’s in the middle of nowhere,” Sam put the map down and sighed. “Why would he send us to the woods?” Dean didn’t say anything as he drove. Dean drove to the Ranger Station where you were supposedly going to get some answers. Apparently, some attack happened last night in these woods and you were going to get to the bottom of it.

You got out with the brothers and walked inside, looking around. Your eyes fell on the huge map of the area in the middle of the room and that is what seemed to spark Sam’s interest as Dean looked at the pictures on the wall.

“Guys, this Ridge is cut off by canyons, rough terrain, dense forest, abandoned silver and gold mines all over the place. Why would dad send us here and what could be hidden?” Sam wondered out loud.

“Dude, check out the size of this bear.” Dean said, smiling. You bounced over to him and smiled, looking at the picture with Dean.

“That’s bad ass.” Sam looked up and made his way over to you and his brother, looking at the picture of a huge ass bear and a man who apparently hunted it.

“Yeah and this place is filled with a dozen or so grizzlies. It’s no nature hike, that’s for sure.” Sam commented quietly.

“You aren’t planning to go our near Blackwater Ridge by any chance?” You three turned around to see the Ranger staring at you.

“No sir, we’re environmental study majors from UC Boulder; just working on a paper.”

“Yeah, recycle, man.” Dean raised his fist. You rolled your eyes at his comment but froze at what the Ranger said next.

“Bull,” Sam tensed up and looked to his brother who made no movement at all. “You’re friends with that Haley girl, correct?” You thought this was your chance to back out of the lie you were building and nodded. You had no idea who Haley was but you went with it.

“Yes, we are, Ranger Wilkinson, you caught us.” You smiled sweetly.

“I’ll tell you exactly what I told her. Her brother filled out a backcountry permit, saying he wouldn’t be back from Blackwater until the 24th. Does that sound like a missing person to you?” Wilkinson shook his head. “You tell that girl to quit worrying. I’m sure her brother is just fine.”

“Actually, what might help is if I could show her a copy of that backcountry permit. You know, so she could see her brother’s return date.” Dean lied straight through his teeth. The ranger eyed him suspiciously before nodding.

“Sure, I’ll get the paperwork.” Wilkinson walked off and into his office where he retrieved the paperwork. He walked back out and handed it to Dean.

“Thank you for your time.” You said politely before leaving with them. Dean walked to the car, smiling and giggling as he held the piece of paper in his hand.

“What, are you cruising for a hookup or something?” Sam asked his brother.

“What do you mean?”

“The coordinates point to Blackwater Ridge so what are we doing here? Why even talk to this girl? Let’s go find Dad.” Sam sighed.

“Sam, we should know what we are walking into, don’t you think? When are you the ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ kind of guy?” You wondered, looking at him.

“Since now.” Sam got in the car, not wanting to talk about it anymore.

“Look, Sam, I understand you lost Jess and I understand you’re hurting but you knew how to Hunt. Hunt smart, not stupid.” You got in the back and Dean got behind the wheel. Not another word was said as you made your way to Haley’s house to find out what went wrong with her brother. You knew something had to have happened. You were just glad that her address was on the piece of paper Dean had.

Whenever people get scared or worried, they are usually right. You have that gut feeling all the time and you hate it when people assume they are fine when they aren’t. Sam wouldn’t talk to you or look at his brother but that didn’t give him an excuse to act stupid and throw caution to the wind when it came to hunting. There was only one way to hunt and that was the smart way.

You make it to her house in short time and before you know it, Haley is opening the door to you three.

“You must be Haley Collins. I’m Dean, this is Sam and that’s Y/N. We’re rangers with the Park Service. Ranger Wilkinson sent us over and he wanted to ask us a few questions about your brother Tommy.” You could see the hesitation in her eyes but you smiled sweetly at her, trying to lower her guard.

“Let me see some ID.” She crossed her arms. Dean pulled out a fake ID, showing it to the girl. That seemed to please Haley because she opened the door wider and nodded. “Come on in.”

You stepped inside first, looking around. She had a nice little house and you felt it was comforting to be here.

“Is that yours?” Haley saw the Impala.

“Yeah.” Dean smirked at her.

“Nice car.” She smiled flirtatiously and walked inside her house, expecting the last one to close the door. You rolled your eyes at the banter between the two but didn’t say anything about it. You saw another young man in the room and looked at him as Sam and Dean took a seat where Haley directed them.

“So if Tommy isn’t due back for a while, how do you know something is wrong?” Sam asked.

“He checks in every day by cell. He sends emails, pictures and even stupid little videos. But we haven’t heard anything in over three days.”

“Well maybe he can’t get reception.” Sam shrugged.

“He’s got a satellite phone as well.” Haley sat down at one of the tables and looked at the brothers.

“Could it be he’s just having fun and forgot to check in?” Dean asked.

“He wouldn’t do that.” The young man you saw earlier spoke.

“Who are you?” You asked nicely, sitting next to him.

“Ben. It’s only me, Haley and Tommy. Our parents are gone. I know my brother more than anyone else and he wouldn’t stop all communications just like that.” Ben looked distraught so you put a hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

“It’s okay. We will find him.” You said soothingly.

“Can I see the pictures he sent you?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, sure,” She took out a laptop and logged on, going to the emails her brother sent her. She showed you, Dean and Sam what kind of pictures that he was sending. Then she came upon a video and pressed play.

“Hey Haley, day six, we’re still out near Blackwater Ridge. We’re fine, keeping safe, so don’t worry okay? Talk to you tomorrow.”

The video cut and even thought you didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, you knew something was off. You had a knack of telling when things weren’t right. It was like you had a supernatural radar.

“We’ll find your brother. We’re heading out there first thing.” Dean nodded.

“Then maybe I’ll see you there,” Haley looked at Dean to see her eyeing her suspiciously. “Look, I can’t sit around here anymore. I hired a guy and we are heading out there first thing in the morning. I’m going to find Tommy myself.” She seemed determined, yet stupid. You weren’t going to say anything to her though.

“Hey, do you mind forwarding me these?” You saw a pen and paper and wrote down your email, giving it to her.

“Yeah, sure.” You smiled and looked at Sam and Dean.

“I think we should go now.” Dean nodded and grabbed his keys from his pockets. You and the brothers left the house, going to the car.

“I need a beer.” Dean said.

“Make that two.” You said, sighing.

“So Blackwater Ridge doesn’t get a lot of traffic. Local campers, mostly but this past April, two hikers went missing out there. They were never found.” Sam said as he opened his father’s journal.

“Look at you, Sammy, doing all of your research.” you grinned, taking a swig of the beer you ordered.

“Yeah let’s see you doing some of it,” Sam joked.

“Were there any before that?” Dean asked.

“Yeah, in ’82. 8 different people vanished that year. It’s strange, seeing this all connected but each time, authorities are saying that it was a grizzly attack.” Sam looked at the newspaper articles in John’s journal.

“Yeah grizzly attack, my ass.” You looked around the bar, watching some of the men play pool.

“Y/N, I got the video of Tom that you sent me and look at what I found.” You looked over at Sam to see his laptop was out, on the video of Tom. He played the video but slowed it down. Because it was slowed down, all three of you saw a shadowy figure move across the background.

“Do it again.” Dean said, looking intently at the frames. Sam played it again but much slower. There was definitely something there.

“That’s three frames. That’s a fraction of a second. Whatever that thing is, it can move.”

“Told you something weird was going on,” Dean hit his brother in the arm and looked at you. “And he said just go for it.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“That’s not the only thing I found,” Sam said, closing his laptop. “In ’59, two campers and their kid got attacked. The kid survived and is alive now.”

“Got a name?” Dean asked. Sam nodded and put everything back in his dad’s journal.

“A man named Mr. Shaw.”

“We should go now. It’s still early enough for him to be awake. What, he’s like 45 now?” You finished your beer and got up, grabbing the jacket you took off. You put some money on the table and left the bar, getting into the car. According to Sam, this guy didn’t live far from where you were.

Personally, if you survived an attack of some creature, you wouldn’t be living in the same state it happened. But to each his own. It was 8:45 when you arrived at Mr. Shaw’s house You got out of the car and walked up to the man’s house, knocking on the door. You hoped it wasn’t too late for him. A moment passed before the door opened.

“Mr. Shaw? My name is Y/N and these are my co-workers Sam and Dean. We are with the Ranger Service and would like to ask you a few questions.” You smiled sweetly, looking at him in the eyes.

“Sure, come on in,” Mr. Shaw backed away, letting you and the Winchester in the house.

“We’re here about the night that your parents got attacked.” You said gently.

“Look, rangers, I don’t know why you’re asking me about this. It’s public record and I was a kid. My parents got mauled by a bear.” Shaw put a cigarette to his mouth and takes a puff. You hated smelling cigarettes but there were times when you had one or two in your days. He took another puff and put it out on his ash tray.

“The other people that went missing that year, those bear attacks too?” Dean asked him. You knew that wasn’t what Mr. Shaw believed. “What about all those other people that went missing this year? Same thing?” Mr. Shaw didn’t say a word.

“Look, Mr. Shaw, if we knew what we were dealing with, we might be able to stop it. I don’t care if what you saw was crazy. I’ve seen a lot of crazy in my day and I will believe you. You just have to tell me what it is you saw.” You stepped closer to him as he sat down.

“I saw nothing. It moved too fast for me to see and it hid very well. I heard it though, like a roar or something but it wasn’t like no man or animal I ever heard.” Mr. Shaw took a deep breath.

“It came at night?” Sam asked from behind you. Shaw nodded and looked worried. “Got inside your tent?”

“It got inside our cabin. I was sleeping in front of the fireplace when it came in. It didn’t smash a window or break the door but unlocked it,” You looked back at Sam and Dean and saw them looking at you. What kind of monster would unlock a door? “Do you know of any bear that could do something like that? I didn’t even wake up until I heard my parent’s screaming.”

“It killed them?” Sam asked.

“You bet your ass it did. Why it left me alive, I will never know. But it did leave this behind,” Shaw pulled down his collar to show us three long scars that looked like claw marks. “There’s evil in those woods. It was some sort of a demon.” Shaw let out a shaky breath and looked at you.

“Thank you for your time, but I think we need to get going. I appreciate you telling us about that, I know it wasn’t easy.” You gave Mr. Shaw a smile before exited his house. Sam and Dean did the same and followed behind you.

“Spirits and demons don’t have to unlock doors. If they want inside, they just go through the walls.” Dean said, walking to his car.

“So it’s probably something else, something corporeal.”

“Corporeal? Excuse me, professor.” Sam rolled his eyes but decided to keep silent.

“So what do you think?” You asked Dean.

“The claws, the speed that it moves... could be a skinwalker, maybe a black dog. Whatever we're talking about, it’s real which means we can kill it.” Dean walked to the trunk of his car and opened it, opening the weapons box, and props it open with a shotgun. He got out a duffel bag and began filing it with it with other types of guns and weapons that he thought could be used.

“We can’t let that Haley girl go out there.” Sam said, helping Dean pack.

“Oh yeah? What are we going to tell her? That she can't go into the woods because of a big scary monster?” You said. You hated that Haley was going to go out there when you knew it had something to do with the supernatural but she wasn’t going to let this one go.

“Yeah.” Dean looked at his younger brother like he’d grown two heads.

“Her brother's missing, Sam. She's not going to just sit this out. Now, we go with her, we protect her, and we keep our eyes peeled for our fuzzy predator friend.” Dean finished packing, zipping up the duffel and holding it in his hands. Sam huffed, slamming the weapons box and the trunk down.

“Finding dad’s not enough? Now we have to babysit too?” You and Dean both stared at him. You knew Sam was upset but this wasn’t helping. “What?”

“Nothing.” Dean threw the duffel bag at his brother and got into he car. Sam looked pissed as he caught the bag.

“Hey, Sam.” You looked up at him. He stared down at you but didn’t say a word. “Remember what I told you during our last hunt? Be the change you want to see. You picking fights with Dean isn’t helping anyone and it won’t bring back Jess. I know you miss her and I know you want to find the thing that killed her but fighting with your brother at every chance you get won’t help anything and you know it.” You stared at him a bit longer before getting into the car. If this is how hunts were going to go, they were going to be a long one.

Masterlist // Series Rewrite Masterlist

Series Rewrite tags:

@helllonearth @amyisabellal @deanwnchstr @caseykitten6 @roxalya19

Forever tags:

@shorter-than-sammy @maddieburcham1 @ginamsmith

Dean tags:

@akshi8278

Other tags:

@jensen-jarpad @jpadjackles @notnaturalanahi @mysteriouslyme81 @deathtonormalcy56 @27bmm

#dean winchester #dean winchester fanfiction #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean #series rewrite #series rewrite masterlist #wendigo #season 1 episode 2 #s1e2 #s1e2 spoilers #supernatural #spn #masterlist #dean x reader insert #dean x you #dean x y/n #dean x reader inserts #john winchester

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mega-aggron · 7 years ago

Note

ask memeeeeeeeeeeee 1-100

tumblr formatted this one weird so there won’t be numbers but since i’m answering them ALL (ily winston) hopefully that’s not a problem

Is a kiss considered cheating?

depends on context? like i know a lot of people older than me kiss others platonically as a greeting so stuff like that is obviously not. but like a full on romantic kiss? if you can’t tell your current significant other about it, it’s probably cheating

Have you ever faked orgasm?

i feel like that would be pretty hard to fake for a cis guy

If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

oh geez uh telekinesis would be cool (you can use it to fly too!)

Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?

uhhhhhh obv not like 1% loaded but i hope to be comfortable?

Tell us some funny drunk story.

at the end of last semester some friends and i got a li’l tipsy and wanted to go get pizza. we found a residence hall moving cart on the way there and then proceeded to push the cart down the sidewalk with me in it going BEEP BEEP as we passed by people waiting to get into bars. then on the way back my friend was in the cart holding a pizza and we passed by some girls in front of a bar who were like “what the fuck is happening” followed shortly by “man i could go for some pizza right now”

Why are you no longer together with your ex?

i mean my “ex” was from a one month relationship like 2 and a half years ago lmao but basically we were both busy and since we didn’t go to the same school it was hard to find time for each other. i also didn’t really hit it off with him the way i expected so it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been since he broke up with me so early

If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be?

oh geez uh old age in my sleep i guess? probably a boring answer but i feel like that would give my loved ones the least sense of grief if it was peaceful and natural

What are your current goals?

graduate i guess! also want to make music before then and hopefully keep doing well at my interviews with facebook

Do you like someone?

idk man, not like super actively but i still have a lot of lingering thoughts about someone because i’m bad at moving on .-. i think i still like them? but it’s been so long that i don’t know how i feel

Who was the last person to disappoint you?

one of my very close friends. he can just sometimes be…. a really mean person and he never showed that side to me until a couple weeks ago. it sucks.

Do you like your body?

it’s complicated? i’m very used to my body looking the way it does because i can’t for the life of me gain weight. it’s not a body type i typically find attractive, but i’ve kind of accepted at this point that it’s the one i’ve got. so while i sometimes wish i looked different, i’m slowly coming to terms with it

Can you keep a diet?

haven’t really tried

If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say?

just fuckin… be nice to people and be receptive when they speak. think about the impacts of your words before you say them. the people you talk to are dealing with their own personal shit and expelling negativity at them isn’t going to solve anything. also: we as a culture need to analyze why the fuck there are literal nazis in 2017

Do you work?

yep! currently a web development intern for a research lab on campus. gonna start my other IT and web development jobs back up once the semester starts

If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be?

pizza, honestly. just fuck me up

Would you get a tattoo?

i’m open to the idea! i don’t know what i’d get though, so it might be a while before i get one (if ever)

Something you don’t mind spending all your money on?

uh i mind spending all my money a lot

Can you drive?

i have my permit but not a full license. i think i’m mediocre behind the wheel just because i haven’t done it a whole lot; but when i get my license i have no doubt i will be a pretty safe driver

When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful?

i don’t get that a lot

What was the last thing you cried for?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtfWXouw1Fo

Do you keep a journal?

i have one next to my bed! i wrote in it all of my fall semester but kinda fell out of touch with journaling (i’ve written in it like… twice since march) but i also kinda end up using this as a journal so

Is life fun?

i think so! not all the time and it’s also a lot of work but i like life for the most part.

Is farting in front of people irrelevant?

i might laugh if it’s a loud one but i probs won’t care

What’s your dream car?

idk something with good gas mileage

Are grades in school important?

to a certain extent. like no one is really gonna care if you only got straight As in the real world, but grades do help in letting others know at a glance how well you understand material. it’s not perfect, but it’s what we have. but if you have strong understanding of concepts and can demonstrate that to other people then grades are irrelevant

Describe your crush.

…

What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?

i read sara bareilles’ book last month and it was great!

What was your last lie?

uhhhh i told a friend i was going to sleep then stayed up translating a song for three hours (inadvertent lies oops)

Dumbest lie you ever told?

man idfk i don’t lie that often

Is crying in front of people embarrassing?

it depends, i mean i wouldn’t want to just like… start crying unprompted in a very public setting but crying in front of friends is probably fine?

Something you did and you are proud of?

me and my friends fucking won hackmit holy shit

What’s your favourite cocktail?

haven’t had many, i only just turned 21. had a sip of a cosmopolitan once though and it was v good (it’s just like… cherry limeade mmmmm)

Something you are good at?

programming i guess? listening to people/giving advice?

Do you like small kids?

haha they can be annoying at times but they’re also pretty cute. not gaga for them but i don’t mind taking care of them for short periods.

How are you feeling right now?

ok. tired. been up til 3 the past few nights so i’m hoping to break that habit tonight (but still have like 50 questions left OOPS) [spoiler i stayed up til 3 again anyway despite stopping halfway through]

What would you name your daughter/son?

i dunno! i’ve always been partial to the name felix but i imagine it’ll be a discussion with my future husband if we ever have a kid.

What do you need to be happy?

being with good friends is often enough

Is there some you want to punch in the face right now?

literal nazis holy shit what the fuck america

What was the last gift you received?

splatoon 2 for my birthday!

What was the last gift you gave?

a donkey kong amiibo for my friend’s birthday

What was the last concert you went to?

ingrid michaelson, i think? paramore soon :>

Favourite place to shop at?

i like uniqlo

Who inspires you?

people who do good in the world and my favorite musicians.

How old were you when you first got drunk?

18? end of freshman year of college i had alcohol for the first time and did six shots of vodka in an hour on an empty stomach rip

How old were you when you first got high?

haven’t yet, don’t plan on it

How old were you when you first had sex?

haven’t yet, but first time i did anything remotely sexual was also when i was 18 i guess?

When was your first kiss?

whaddaya know, also 18

Something you want to do until the end of this year?

make music

Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done?

not really? maybe try harder in high school? i dunno i don’t really regret a whole lot about my life

Post a selfie.

one tired selfie taken just for you

Who are you most comfortable around?

nitesh, winston, and all my roommates/friends across the hall

Name one thing that terrifies you.

the possibility of living an insignificant or harmful life, also the current political climate

What kind of books do you read?

i don’t read a whole lot ;-; but i like contemporary fantasy i guess?

What would you tell your 12 year old self?

hey you’re gay and also pokemon is still fantastic 9 years later

What is your favourite flower?

honeysuckle probably. orchids and calla lillies are nice too

Any bad habits you have?

i bite my nails occasionally. but as i type this, i realize i haven’t done it in a while so i guess staying up too late is another one (speaking of which, it’s 1am i’ll finish answering these tomorrow *tucks away into drafts*)

What kind of people are you attracted to?

(*opens drafts 19 hours later* nice) people that make me laugh. that make me feel at home i guess? and be nice to others.

What was the last thing you cried for?

ddddd-deja vu

Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you?

a lot of vegetables were unfortunately ruined for me because i was effectively force-fed them as a kid by my dad. i’ve tried them again recently but still gag

Are you in love?

uh not in the reciprocated romantic way

Something you find romantic?

idk directly complimenting each other is always cute tho

How long was your longest relationship?

like a month LOL

What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?

guys that think the world is out to get them, turning everything into a fuckin masculinity contest, and diminishing what women have to say

What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

there are some girls that i know who just... thrive off gossip? i have yet to meet a guy that invested in stirring drama like that. idk

What are you saving money for?

uhhhh to live on my own after college and also pay off these sick student loans

How would you describe your bad side?

i don’t have like a “bad side” like “don’t cross me or you’ll fucking get it” but my personal bad side is just when i turn into an apathetic wreck

Are you actually a good person? Why?

i try to be? i’m not that great at arguing morals or anything but i try to enhance the lives of those around me so i think that’s a good start

What are you living for?

this truth tea man idk how the fuck to answer this

Have you ever done anything illegal?

yeah but nothing much more severe than drinking underage

Do you like your body?

dddddddddddeja vu

Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?

i don’t think so??????

Ever sent nudes?

not really my thing.

Have you ever cheated on someone?

no, and really don’t fuckin plan on it

Favourite candy?

hmmmmmmmmm i’m pretty flexible. mint / dark chocolate is great but i also like watermelon jolly ranchers

Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!

nah i usually just stick with what’s on my dash but i’ll pop in on friends every once in a while

Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?

still really like overwatch! dream daddy was also so fucking good. and i just got night in the woods so i hope that’ll be good too!

Favourite TV series?

i really don’t watch much tv. fma brotherhood and parks and rec are my gotos for this question tho.

Are you religious? Does God exist?

i am and i think so! i’m not like super duper devout (i haven’t been to church in a while) but i still use religion as a bit of a basis for my moral compass. and i can’t prove god exists but i still believe there is one out there.

What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?

ddddddddeja vu x3

What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?

respect to those who do it! not for me right now

How long have you been on Tumblr?

like.... 4 years?

Do you like Chineese food?

chineeeeese food is pretty good yes

McDonalds or Subway?

subway

Vodka or whiskey?

uH not a whole lot of experience but leaning toward vodka?

Alcohol or drugs?

alcohol 100%

Ever been out of your province/state/country?

Meaning behind your blog name?

it’s a pokemon! back when megas were first announced people started hoarding mega- urls and i got lucky enough to have a canon one

What are you scared of?

ddddddddddddddddddeja vu again holy

Last time you were insulted?

fuckin idk last weekend i got told a couple times that i’m just skin and bones which i don’t like but they didn’t do it maliciously? idk

Most traumatic experience ?

falling from a bed onto an open dresser drawer and busting my head open last year

Perfect date idea?

ohhhhh man idk. i’ve always wanted to do a zoo or aquarium date. but i think i’d also be cool just hanging around in pajamas ordering delivery and playing video games. i’m a pretty simple person.

Favourite app on your phone?

don’t really have one? photos i guess?

What colour are the walls in your room?

white

Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?

i watch a lot of youtube; competitive overwatch mostly. i like your overwatch and polygon’s channel.

Share your favourite quote.

“life’s not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain” vivian greene

What is the meaning of life?

i could not answer this in a million years

Do you like horror movies?

haven’t watched a whole lot (see: any that i can remember?) so maybe i’d like them but i think i’d need to watch with someone else so i don’t get scared

Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?

uh i did when i was like 4 or 5 and said adults don’t have feelings after she had a hard day i think? also once when i was like 13 my sibling and i were being annoying in a restaurant while meeting with our stepdad (who she was only dating at the time) and when we got home i felt super shitty about it but other than those two incidents i don’t think so which is a good track record in my book

Do you feel lucky or special in a way?

idk about special but i consider myself lucky to have the friends i do.

Can you keep a secret?

yep

#caqtuscomics #ask bobzco #ty winston!!!!!#about me

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damonsbitchx · 7 years ago

Note

I'm really tired and I'm definitely crazy but all of them for the number ask thing

Holy shit Esther, okay. Um thanks lol You’re awesome, I love you so much omg.

Answers below the cut bc I’m feeling nice tonight.

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.

1. “How Does A Moment Last Forever” - Kevin Kline (Beauty and The Beast)

2. “Belle” - Emma Watson, Luke Evans, Ensemble (Beauty and The Beast)

3. “Make You Miss Me” - Sam Hunt

4. “Beauty And The Beast” - Ariana Grande & John Legend (Lol Beauty and The Beast)

5. “Impossible” - James Aurthur

6. “Aria” - Audra McDonald (Beauty and The Beast)

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Um lets see Jared Padalecki, my soulmate @the-thirteenthhour, tumblr mom Morgan @assbutt-still-in-hell, and a whole lot of my other Tumblr peeps

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“It was unsettling to watch.”

4) What do you think about most?

I think the thought that pops into my head the most is “keep fighting.” I think about it a lot.

5) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

I think someone wrote a song about me once, but they said they lost the paper and I never got to see it. Other than that, I don’t think so.

6) Do you have any strange phobias?

Um yeah, spiders, clowns, spiders, clowns, and did I mention SPIDERS AND CLOWNS?

7) What’s your religion?

I’m a cradle Catholic.

8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

I’m most likely sitting out side for some peace and quiet. Whether it’s snowing, sunny, and especially when it’s raining, I’ll just sit outside and close my eyes.

9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Well I’m not really big on bands or anything, but I really like Panic At The Disco.

10) What was the last lie you told?

I don’t remember

11) Do you believe in karma?

Yeah, but I dont like to let her have all the fun, y’know?

12) What does your URL mean?

Sam Winchester is a reason that I’m alive. Therefore, it’s kind of an answer to a question. “Why are you alive?” - “Because Sam Winchester.”

13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

I think my greatest weakness is how in touch with my emotions I am, it can be problematic at times. I think my greatest strength is my ability to listen and understand people, which in turn, allows me to effectively give advice.

14) Who is your celebrity crush?

JARED PADALECKI

15) How do you vent your anger?

I usually go for a walk or cry it out by myself. If I ever vent to someone then you know I’ve reached my limit.

16) Do you have a collection of anything?

I had a collection of plastic horse toys, kind of like Breyers, but I gave them to my sister.

17) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

I’m not completely content with who I am yet, but I am working on it. I’m happy with how far I’ve come though.

18) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

I hate the sound of people chewing and sniffing all their snot in, instead of blowing it out like a sensible person ????? I love the sound of rain and thunder storms, I also love the sound of violins and wire string guitars.

19) What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if one day I’m not strong enough to fight anymore?

20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

22) Smell the air. What do you smell?

Idk what it is, but it’s got a slightly sweet smell. I think it’s Raspberry Jam.

23) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

One of the worst places I’ve been was probably the wake of my baby niece when I was real small. I can’t remember anything else.

24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender?

The most attractive male singers I’ve ever heard sing are obviously Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki.

25) To you, what is the meaning of life?

Idk about meaning, I don’t know if life has a meaning. I do think everyone has a purpose though.

26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

I don’t drive yet. Too lazy to get my permit lol as well as the fact that where I live you have to log 100 hours behind the wheel with an adult present in order to get your license unless you’re 18, I am not.

27) What was the last movie you saw?

I’m watching Moana right now.

28) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

I tore my ACL (a ligament at the back of the knee) a year ago.

29) Do you have any obsessions right now?

Supernatural, Tumblr, writing, singing, Disney Movies, the ocean, Jared Padalecki/Sam Winchester, acting.

30) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

Yep

31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

I hold grudges for a while, but after so long it gets tiring and pointless. However, if one does not seek forgiveness before I get tired of holding a grudge, they will be cut out of my life. I don’t need that negativity just because you’re too full of yourself to apologize for whatever you did.

32) What is your astrological sign?

Sagittaius

33) What’s the last thing you purchased?

I purchased a thing of Ocean themed earrings.

34) Love or lust?

Love

35) In a relationship?

Yeah, with Netflix.

36) How many relationships have you had?

None

37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

I am very good at reading people, so I lay low for a while and watch. Once I get a good feel for someone I can adjust my personality to fit theirs. It’s why I get along with so many different kinds of people.

38) Where is your best friend?

I have a few. One of them is an entire state away. One of them lives 5 minutes from me, the other two live about 20-25 minutes from me. At this moment, I don’t know specifically where any of them are.

39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Sleeping

40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Yeah, sometimes.

41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Save the dog. I’ll explain it to my boss and if they fire me I can find a new job. I can always find a new job, but that one life is the only one the dog will get. Also, I’m just a big softy.

42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

(a) I don’t think I would tell anyone, at least not immediately. I wouldn’t want to be treated like I’m dying during my last days. I suppose I could tell a few very close people though, I just don’t want to be smothered.

(b) I would drop all the unnecessary responsibilities I have and start doing things that I want to do, but subtly. Still don’t want to be treated like I’m dying.

© I don’t know if I would be afraid. I like to think I wouldn’t, I might just be more sad than afraid. Sad to think about my friends and family having to live without me, sad I won’t get to do half the things I always dreamed of doing.

43) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

“Brother” - NEEDTOBREATHE ft. Gavin DeGraw

“Simple Man” - Cover by Jensen Ackles

44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

A great romantic relationship should consist of communication, understanding, and honesty. Boundaries should be respected, you should always admit when you are wrong and never leave the house or go to sleep mad at each other. The mindset should be best friends before lovers. You should always want what is best for your partner, but always remember to care for yourself too.

45) How can I win your heart?

It’s pretty easy. If you can make me laugh, but also take part in a deep, soul-searching conversation we’re practically married.

46) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Absolutely

47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

The single best decision I’ve made in my life so far was learning to take care of me first.

48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

“Don’t worry bitches, I’ll be back.” Probably not that, but I think it would be funny. Maybe something more like “Here lies: Your mom…. lol jk it’s just me, [insert full name]”

49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “heart.”

All that came to mind was Sam Winchester. *shrug*

50) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?

Green

51) What is your current desktop picture?

A sea turtle

52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

I’d say probably this kid named Billy who goes to my church. If you met him you would know why.

53) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Oh god, okay well a lot of the time I would be afraid to tell the truth when people ask me if I’m okay. lol but don’t go asking me if I’m okay or anything after you read this cause that’s not cool.

54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Oh, hell yeah, I would totally want super strength or laser eyes.

55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

I think I would relive the half-hour chunk of time from my 5th birthday party when me and my best friend at the time were outside in the cold November fog riding a miniature pony. There were other kids there, but only her and I were excited about it and I would honestly give anything to go back a relive that innocent bliss.

56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

I think I would erase having to lose my horse just March of this year.

57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

I would probably sleep with Demi Lovato or Sabrina Carpenter. This is kind of a hard question because usually I only know singers for their music, not their looks or anything.

58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Obviously, I’d go to see my soulmate. Although, I would have to be strategic about this. I think i would drive to go get her and then buy her ticket (bc mine’s free) and we’d go see mom. ( @assbutt-still-in-hell )

59) Ever been on a plane?

No, I don’t really want to, but I probably will at some point.

60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities.

1. Jared Padalecki

2. Jensen Ackles

3. Misha Collins

4. Gal Gadot

5. Ian Somerhalder (and Genevieve Padalecki, why tf do I only get 5????)

What can I say except you’re WELCOME! Thanks for the questions, they only took me an hour and half to do lol.

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seekfirstme · 5 years ago

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Meditation: How does God reveal his glory to us? During his last supper with his disciples on the eve of his sacrifice on the cross, Jesus speaks of his glory and the glory of his Father. What is this glory? It is the cross which Jesus speaks of here. The cross of Jesus reveals the tremendous love and mercy of God the Father and his beloved Son for the human race. John the Evangelist writes, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only-begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16).

The true nature of love

There is no greater glory and honor that one can offer than the willing sacrifice of one's life for the sake of another. This is the true nature of love - the total self-giving and free offering of one's life for the good of another. A mother who loves her child will do everything in her power to nurture, protect, and save the life of the child. A soldier devoted to his country's welfare, will endure any hardship and suffering and willingly sacrifice his own life to defend his people. God the Father showed the unfathomable depth of his love and mercy by willingly offering his only begotten Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, as the atoning sacrifice for the sin of the world. To ransom a slave God gave his only Son. That slave is you and me and the whole human race which is bound in sin and death and separation from God.

The cancer of sin is healed by Christ's merciful love

Paul the Apostle tells us, "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 6:23). The Lord Jesus died for our sins to bring us abundant new life in his Spirit and to restore our nature in the true image and likeness of God. The cancer of sin shows us the ugliness of greed, hatred, and envy which destroy the very core of our being and rob us of life and love. That is why evil infects the world which God created out of his boundless love and goodness. God did not create evil and suffering, but through suffering he conquers evil with goodness, truth, and mercy and righteousness.

That is why Jesus gave his disciples a new commandment and way of love - not a commandment that replaces the Old Covenant commandment to love one's neighbor as oneself. This new commandment transforms the old commandment with the love and mercy which the Lord Jesus poured out for us on the Cross of Calvary. There death was defeated, and sin was covered with merciful love and forgiveness, and Satan's power was crushed through Godly meekness and obedience. Jesus proved that love is stronger than death. That is how we overcome the world and conquer our enemies - Satan, who is the father of lies and a murderer from the beginning, the world which stands in opposition to God, and our own sinful pride and fear of death.

The love of Christ conquers all

The Father has glorified his Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, by raising him from the dead. And the Lord shares his glory with us and with all who believe in him as their Lord and Savior. Augustine of Hippo wrote, God loves each one of us as if there were only one of us to love. God's love is direct, personal, and wholly oriented to our good welfare and happiness. What can hold us back from loving the One who suffered and died for us and who offers us abundant joy and happiness with him forever? Nothing can separate us from that love except our own stubborn pride, envy, and self-deception. Satan rebelled out of pride and envy - he wanted to be God's rival. Adam disobeyed because he listened to Satan's lie and deceptive promise to glory apart from God. We sin because we love ourselves more than we love God and our neighbor. Only the cross can break the curse of sin and bring full restoration of body, mind, and soul.

We are called to love as Christ loves us

We were made for glory - the glory which comes from God and which lasts forever. That glory can only be obtained in the cross of Jesus Christ. And the price for that glory is the total offering of our lives for the One who loved us first and who died on the cross to save us from everlasting death and destruction. God offers us the free gift of faith which enables us to believe in his only begotten Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, who frees us from slavery to sin so we can live as sons and daughters of God. The distinctive mark of the followers of Jesus is love - a love not bound by fear, greed, or selfishness - but a love full of compassion, mercy, kindness, and goodness.

God's love has been poured into our hearts

How can we love one another as Christ has loved us? Paul the Apostle tells us that "God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us" (Romans 5:5). Jesus poured out his Holy Spirit on his disciples at Pentecost and he pours out his Spirit today on all who believe in him. If we yield our hearts to Jesus and submit to his will for us, then the Holy Spirit will purify all that is unloving, unkind, and unforgiving in us. The Lord wants to transform our minds so we can understand his word of truth and life which has power to set us free from ignorance, unbelief, deception, and prejudice.

This is the power that overcomes the world - the triumphant cross of Christ which breaks the destructive forces of sin, hatred, and division. And we share in the power of Christ's victory by embracing the cross which the Lord Jesus sets before each one of us. What is the cross that I must take up daily in order to follow the Lord Jesus? When my will crosses with God's will, then his will must be done. The cross of Christ sets us free to live no longer for ourselves but for Christ and his kingdom of peace, joy, and righteousness (moral goodness). Our calling and privilege is to serve as Christ has served and to love and he has loved. That is the way we share in the glory of our heavenly Father who gave us his beloved Son who laid down his life for each one of us.

The distinctive mark of every disciple and follower of Jesus Christ is love - a love that is ready to forgive and forget past injuries, to heal and restore rather than inflict revenge and injury. The cross of Jesus is the only way to pardon, peace, forgiveness, and reconciliation. Every other way will fail or fall short of the glory and victory which Jesus Christ has won for us through his death and resurrection. If we embrace his love and truth and allow his Holy Spirit to purify and transform our hearts and minds, then we will find the inner freedom, joy, and strength we need to love without measure, to forgive without limit, and to serve without reward - save that of knowing we are serving the One who wants to be united with us in an unbreakable bond of peace and joy forever.

"Lord Jesus, your love knows no bounds and surpasses everything I could desire and long for. Fill me with the fire of your love and with the joy of your Holy Spirit that I may freely serve my neighbor with loving-kindness, tenderhearted mercy, and generous care for their well-being."

HARD LESSONS

"We must undergo many trials." Acts 14:22

At the close of the very first Christian missionary journey, Paul and Barnabas instructed their disciples: "We must undergo many trials if we are to enter into the reign of God" (Acts 14:22). Trials, in fact, many trials, are a given for a disciple, although Jesus gives a yoke that is easy and a burden that is light (Mt 11:30).

Life is hard. This is not the Lord's idea. He did not make original sin, "death or mourning, crying out or pain" (Rv 21:4; see Wis 1:13). He will eventually abolish all these evils. By our sins, we have made life hard, and the Lord has permitted this to continue.

By sin, we harden our hearts. Hard objects can be broken up by other harder objects (see Prv 27:17). The Lord can use hard lives to break up and open up our hard hearts. So He lets us "learn the hard way" so that we will repent (Mk 1:15), give our lives to Him, and not enter the everlasting hardness of hell.

"Oh, that today you would hear His voice: 'Harden not your hearts' " (Ps 95:7-8). Repent of any hardness of heart and go to Confession. If your heart is so hard that you refuse to repent, may the hard life you are making for yourself shatter the hardness of your heart.

Then if we open our hearts to the Lord, He will let us share in the hard sufferings of His cross (see 1 Pt 4:13) so as to open the hardest hearts.

Prayer: Jesus, You gave us Mary to be our mother shortly before You died on the cross (Jn 19:26-27). Let Mary teach me the hard facts and sublime joys of the cross. Promise: "This is how all will know you for My disciples: your love for one another." —Jn 13:35 Praise: "Rejoice always." (1 Thes 5:16) "He has been raised up!" (Lk 24:6) Thank You, Jesus!

Rescript: In accord with the Code of Canon Law, I hereby grant the Nihil Obstat ("Permission to Publish") for One Bread, One Body covering the period from April 1, 2019 through May 31, 2019.

Most Reverend Joseph R. Binzer, Auxiliary Bishop, Vicar General of the Archdiocese of Cincinnati, November 28, 2018.

The Nihil Obstat ("Permission to Publish") is a declaration that a book or pamphlet is considered to be free of doctrinal or moral error. It is not implied that those who have granted the Nihil Obstat agree with the contents, opinions, or statements

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furynewsnetwork · 7 years ago

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Quoting old movies is fun, particularly when they involve surreality. Government functions are almost entirely surreal, but quoting them is rarely fun … unless Trump is somehow involved. Love him or loathe him or something in between, he’s brought fun quotes back to self-governance. And with them come the witch hunts.

There are ways to tell if someone is a witch. What do you do with witches?

Burn them!

And what do you burn apart from witches?

Republican officiocrats who work for a loathably abrasive New York democrat twitter freak holding the White House as a republican that the Deep State Swamp is desperate to delegitimize because he’s declared war on it. In other words: more witches.

Never mind that Medusa sold foreign policy futures to foreign government agents in the guise of contributions to her and Cuckold Bill’s charitable foundation. The real issue is that members of the Trump campaign met with Russian government provocateurs who − wink wink nudge nudge, your wife’s a goer − had “information” on Medusa that would “bring down” her campaign.

Therefore, he’s made of wood.

And this contact wasn’t disclosed on the security questionnaire, which means he lied. The only reason you lie about something this substantial is to hide the truth.

Therefore, he weighs as much as a duck.

The officiocrat’s security questionnaire was amended four times, and now contains hundreds more foreign contacts.

Therefore …? A WITCH!! BURN HIM!!

Time the fuck out. Has anyone ever completed one of those security clearance questionnaires? I have. Multiple times. I’ve held a clearance for most of the time since 1980 when I joined the Air Force. It is form SF86, in case anyone wants to follow along. It can be found online. Giving answers that can be construed as lies by those wishing to do so is trivially easy, for the form was devised by bureaucrats and their legion of loyyers.

The current version [as of 2014] is 157 pages long in its raw form on paper, including instructions and multiple release of liability and signature pages. Paper applications are no longer accepted; it is now completed online requiring a government login ID and irrationally long gibberish password that cannot be remembered and must never be written down. You will be calling the toll free help desk repeatedly to have your password reset.

You may not advance to the next section of the form until the current section is completely answered. Unless you are fresh from the womb, you will have scores of addenda and explanation pages to add information. These addenda are needed for families larger than you and two parents and one sibling, for any travel farther afield than the local Walmart, and for anything you’ve done more complex than buying a stick of gum. God forbid you have a relative − to include in-laws − born in a foreign country. I have such an in-law.

But still, I’m an incredibly boring individual with a relatively small family and no social or civic affiliations to speak of. I’m a libertarian and thus have no meaningful political affiliation, either. One investigator in the 90s looked at me and my paperwork and said, “Ah … N J.” I quizzed, “N J?” He replied, “Non-joiner.”

My most recent clearance application ended up being 380+ pages long. …Not including instructions and signature pages. It took me over five weeks to complete.

The online form has pull-down menus for standard fill-in-the-blanks. But just try explaining where your father-in-law came from. He’s been living in the US since the age of 9, but was born in a village in Yugoslavia to German parents. He spent the first 7 years of his life in Nazi, and then Soviet, prison camps. The online form no longer lists Yugoslavia as a legitimate nation [I used Angola, since it was listed first and I was not about to dignify their inept system], nor does it accept his home town. The village itself was obliterated de facto by the Wehrmacht and de jure by the follow-on Tito government. After the dissolution of Yugoslavia, the specific location may be in Serbia, or Bosnia, or Slovakia, no one is quite sure. Not that it matters anyway; it’s gone. His naturalization document lists a naturalization center in the US no longer in existence and therefore not in the pull down list. His naturalization is identified by a certificate number using a layout no longer recognized as valid − not enough digits. My father-in-law is just generally suspicious, I suppose.

Explaining this one fairly trivial matter that I covered in one paragraph took − I recall − 15 additional pages on the SF86. Maybe more. One’s eyes tend to glaze over after a certain amount of useless necessity. In any event, it took 15 pages too many.

But then comes the sections of the questionnaire that has caused Trump teammates so much trouble, and which would cause me the same trouble were I a republican party officiocrat instead of a mere libertarian DoD data analyst: section 19, about halfway through form SF86, “foreign contacts”.

I have been on eleven cruises, and I’ve met literally thousands of foreigners. Most were wearing name tags, and many of those who weren’t told me their names. I wrote down none of them. With the exception of maybe a half dozen, I couldn’t tell you much more about them than their first name, sometimes not even that. There is Pedro [last name unknown], the effusively friendly manager-slash-head waiter of a little cantina [forgot the name] on the second floor over a souvenir shop [forgot the name] on the main tourist drag [forgot the name] of San Miguel on the island of Cozumel. We visit the place for lunch every time we’re there. Pedro’s head is shaped like a bowling ball, if that helps the investigators any.

There is Major Tom [last name unknown], the unofficial greeter for the nation of Belize, and head of the Belize City Chamber of Commerce. He runs several tourist excursion operations, including one we took our first time there. He used to be in the Belizi army − hence his title of Major. He looks like a young Ricardo Montalban, or did the last time I saw him.

There is Ngede [last name unknown], our Indonesian head waiter on not one but two cruises, on two different ships … and what are the odds? Highly suspicious if I were a republican officiocrat. He has his First Night patter down: the nearest any English-speaker can ever come to pronouncing his name is “g’day”, so just say G’day. He has an advanced degree in engineering, but works as a waiter on US cruises because at $10 a day plus tips he makes more than an engineer in Indonesia. …where you have to be politically connected [i.e., the correct race, the correct tribe and the correct religion, none of which includes him] in order to get a job that pays more than twenty-five cents an hour. He is now considered extremely wealthy among his countrymen … at least on his time off when he goes back home. He showed us how to make a rat out of a linen napkin.

There’s the guy on Cayman who runs Moby Dick’s − the stingray encounter excursion. His name is Richard something, and he’s from England. He charges almost $100 American for a thirty minute boat ride and a bucket of squid to twenty folks at a time to feed the stingrays tamed by generations of hand-feeding on a sandbar in the sound. Wouldn’t know him on sight. He was thoroughly unremarkable, apart from being well-tanned.

On the ship, I try to find one of the bars with a particularly attractive bartender and get my glass of before-dinner wine or after-dinner drambuie from her. The last two cruises these bartenders were in the form of a cutey from Ukraine, and a hotsy from Brazil. I impressed the Ukrainian by knowing how to say please [pazhalsta], thank you [spaseeba], goodbye [da svedanya] and I’m bored [mnya skuchnya] in Russian. I made my bartender from Ipanema laugh by butchering the words to Mas Que Nada. I have long forgotten their names.

But by far, the most memorable foreign contact I had was a little boy, maybe four years old. He was paying close attention to the cracks in the sidewalk while walking with his mother, an attractive twenty-something, and older brother, maybe seven years old. This was down one of the back streets of San Miguel on Cozumel. I was searching for a cheap cantina serving actual Mexican tacos. The older brother was in navy blue shorts, starched white shirt, and a solid black tie. His shoes were polished black. He was going to school, and mom was walking him there. I was approaching them on the sidewalk, and as we neared I smiled and said, “Hola.” Mom smiled back, and the older brother looked puzzled. Both said “Hola.” The four year old boy, though, looked up from the cracks under his feet, directly at me. He pointed and announced, in surprise, “Mama! Gringo!”

His mother was mortified, and stammered a Spanish apology interlaced with scolds directed to her child. I laughed and told her “De nada.” I still laugh when I replay it. But that was it; that was the entire foreign contact. I never quizzed them for their names. Were I a republican officiocrat I’d be required to.

Section 19 of form SF86 requires full names, addresses, dates and places of birth, employer[s], all nicknames, not to mention affiliations, and purposes, and outcomes of all foreign contacts. Per instructions, it limits the contacts required to be disclosed to those of “close and continuing” nature, but one’s definitions of “close” and “continuing” are extremely subjective, and might well rely on political partisanship. Very few of the items under foreign contacts allow for the option of declaring “I don’t know”. “I don’t remember” is not permitted at all.

As someone who’s had a clearance for over thirty years and a Top Secret clearance for all but my four years in the Air Force, I know exactly what they’re trying to get at here. They want to know if a clearance candidate has ever encountered any foreigner who went out of his way to indicate that he was trying to dig for information about things he shouldn’t be digging for. “Has any foreigner you’ve ever encountered asked you nosy questions about what you do, who you do it for, or otherwise acted like a spy? If yes, list as many details as possible.”

That’s what they’re trying to ask, but they don’t. Instead, they require that anyone wanting a security clearance from the US government act like a spy themselves every time they encounter a foreigner, by getting full names, addresses, dates of birth, employers, the foreigners’ affiliations and purposes for existing … none of which anyone ever does. You don’t go on a cruise with a notebook and stubby pencil demanding the names of every vendor hawking his souvenirs upon every passer-by.

“Come in! Come in! We have condition air. Feel all cool and cold while buy your pretty wife a necklace, eh?”

Not until I know your full name, date of birth, nationality, who you work for, and what civic groups you participate in.

… yeah, not gonna happen. As a result, almost everyone filling out this form leaves these things out. And no one cares that you leave these things out. …unless you’re a republican officiocrat working for an outsider president that everyone loathes because he’s harsh, abrasive and an outsider who’s declared war on the Deep State Swamp which creates − among other things − obscenely obstreperous national security clearance questionnaires.

Section 20 of form SF86 inquires after “foreign activities”; subsection A deals with foreign holdings, of which I have zippo. Oh, drat. I have a self-directed IRA which has mutual funds which hold foreign stocks and bonds. Subsection A is trying to find out if I have meaningful holdings. Never mind that “meaningful” is arbitrarily and subjectively determinable itself. Ah, the hell with it; “No”.

“Do I own, or plan to own, property in a foreign country.” Yes, I plan to retire to Mexico. I like Mexico.

“Give the date of purchase, or planned purchase. Where do you plan to purchase property, and what price are you paying for it?” What? The hell? I veered off onto one of the “explanation” pages with the following: Listen, guys, if you think I can give you the speculative date and speculative location and speculative price of a speculative purchase of a retirement home for a speculative retirement and have this information mean a single god damn, then you must think I have a crystal ball. If I had a crystal ball I’d be using it for personal enrichment and wouldn’t need a job which requires a clearance. I plan to retire in Mexico, at some point, don’t know where, when, or how, but a guy can dream. That’s all I’m saying about it.

I’m not going to describe the other 5 pages of this subsection. Needless to say, it’s more of the same useless necessity. Each item must be answered; “I don’t know” is not usually accepted.

Subsection B: foreign business, professional or government contacts. Uh oh. I’ve had literally hundreds of contacts with foreign government agents. … that I know about. Knowing the nature of government, I’ve probably had dozens more government contacts that I don’t know about. Eleven cruises, multiple port calls each cruise, encountering customs agents, port security wonks, police − in Limon Costa Rica, we were trying to find an outlet for the local coffee so I could bring home a few pounds of whole beans. Had a conversation with dos policia who knew bupkus English. With my formal Spanish lessons ending in 7th grade forty years prior, and my informal Spanish picked up in bits and pieces [Dos cervezas, por favor. Muy Frijo. Donde es el baño?] … my wife reports it was an amusing conversation to watch, and it would undoubtedly have been fun to participate in had I not been hung over.

Do I have to list these government contacts, to include full name, nationality, government agency and rank or title, date[s] and purpose of contact and all “offers” made? I do if I’m a republican offiocrat working for the aforementioned outsider president loathed by the Deep State Swamp. Does el policia pointing me at a bodega which sells coffee beans constitute an “offer”? If I’m a republican officiocrat, yes.

Additionally, I’ve undoubtedly run across government agents burrowed into excursion outfits watching for illicit activities − you know what those Americans are like when they get closer to the source of their recreational drugs. Many Americans attempt to score their own while visiting drug exporting nations, and their arrogant self-absorption is a direct contributor to the unsolved murders of dozens of us a year. But do I know they are undercover government agents? No I do not. Does it matter? Do I have to list them as well, even though I don’t know who they are? Only if I’m that republican officiocrat.

There are another 7 pages of this subsection that I won’t go into. All items must be answered; almost none apply. “I don’t know” is only acceptable for a small portion of the items.

Subsection C: foreign travel. Once again: eleven cruises.

Specific dates [which I no longer know] for each nation visited. And for each nation describe once again the information previously inquired after in section 19. This was the section that was trying to, but did not, ask, “did any foreigner get too nosy about things that are none of his business?”

It had taken me three weeks to get to this part of form SF86. I’d long ago exceeded my tolerance for bureaucratic impertinence, and used one of the many “explanation” pages to freeform the following paraphrased blowback: Lookit, my wife and I have taken one cruise a year between 2004 and 2012, and one year we took two when we had both our parents along. You have much more access to the dates of our cruises than we do at this point; all I can tell you is that they were usually in May. We’ve met thousands of foreigners, and over a hundred foreign government weenies, and not one of them was any more forward than to pester us about emptying our wallets in their particular store. No one asked what I do, or who I do it for, and no one especially asked if I had any government secrets to give out. The only thing any of them wanted was my business.

I bawled out the apparatchik in the Deep State Swamp with irreverent, impetuous scold. And once again, does this matter? The answer is, once again: only if I am a republican officiocrat working for the well-loathed outsider New York democrat holding the White House as a republican and who declared war on the Deep State Swamp.

The nature of government bureaucracy is to evolve into an endless stream of gotchas. It is these gotchas that are levied against anyone chosen to be the witch du jour. You would have to be blind or a partisan shill to fail or refuse to see who is being gotchaed at the moment. The republican officiocrat was doing opposition research during the presidential campaign, and was contacted about gaining opposition candidate spice. He showed up to get the spice and met two Russians, neither of whom said, “Hey! I’m with Moscow and work for Putin!” thus cluing him into it being a government contact. The meeting was short, and the subject was not juicy gossip about Medusa; it was about US sanctions that resulted in Moscow curtailing Russian adoptions to the US. The meeting was abandoned and none of the players ever met again.

Section 19 of SF86 requires − per instructions − “close and continuing” contact with foreign nationals to be disclosed. A single meeting with a female Russian loyyer and her [from all accounts] silent partner is neither “close” nor “continuing”. Unless, of course, you have it in for the republican officiocrat and the well-loathed guy he works for. Therefore … a witch.

In contrast, the encounters with my bartender from Ipanema, occurring each day of the cruise before dinner for a glass of wine, and after dinner for a glass of drambuie was, in comparison, intimate and perpetual. Even though I no longer remember her name − it was five years ago now − I learned much more about her than any republican officiocrat ever knew about the two Russians.

But it doesn’t matter because I’m not a republican officiocrat working for a New York democrat playing a republican president on twitter, and who declared war on all the jealously self-important bureaucrats who spend their days constructing 157 page long gotchas with which they can play king for a day.

King? Pffft. We didn’t vote for them.

You don’t vote for kings.

How’d they get to be kings then?

The Deep State of the Swamp, arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Regulation, signifying by authoritarian providence that they, the bureaucrats, should rule this land.

Listen, mysterious functionaries lying in ambush distributing arbitrary rules is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from broad support of the masses, not from some farcical procedural ceremony.

I fart in your general direction.

Ni.

You’ll be dead in a minute.

BU-U-U-URN him!!

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