#I write agriculture magazines

[askingkyborg]

//nonaskBUTWITHBRINKTHISTIME AND ARMAGEDON STUFF AND A BIT OF BRAMBLE ARC

obligatory @doors-worstenemy for anything considering tussler. Half of this may be brinkborgish because like. My mind is kymudd>brinkborg>blink>slinkborg/whatever the fuck that poly am clusterfuck is /neutral

anyhow. Thinks about armagedons ending. How quickly they left for the witherbanes. How brink was at the bar thar night. Do you think he saw kydelious in his old rivals eyes? Do you think he saw the blood stained tunic of a man who should have died- submitted to dia- claimed in the wreckage- with his people--

reborn?

do you think in that second, brink saw peace in his enemy turned friend ((turned crush maybe im pandering a bit but awaygh enemys to lovers has my sorryass)) and he felt happy? Or perhaps was it offputting to see the fire in kyborgs eyes calm down?

do you think at a point, kyborg ever introduced himself as kydelious after, and brink would wonder from his carful mayoral perch of what shifted in his mind? What brought that old dog of a name home?

do you think he ever knew the days before? Were they ever recounted to him, the plights of somebody he was so bitter towards who just wanted love?

Do you think that night in the bar, when the eye lock of knowledge of knowing an evil had been dealt with-, they both felt relief?

whatever the answer is, its between the two men, and that hate and that love and that burning question may never find a place to rest.

"what changed, rust bucket..?"

[catbread0]

Hi !! Id like to request for kusuriuri!<3 a fic of him with gn reader where the reader loves foxes, sturdiest kitsune and knows a lot about him, and messes with him with the knowledge, even teases him about his.. magazines (YK those 🌽 magazines) knowing his kitsune are horny creatures, overall they genuinely do love foxes and kitsunes though and love caressing his hair and face

Ri-Kusuriuri x Reader

This was fun writing! I hope you will enjoy reading it! I'm very sorry for an mistakes!

(*≧∀≦)

words: 1,003

fluff and very brief smut

Mononoke (2007) Masterlist

Knowledgeable on Kits

When you first met Ri-Kusuriuri, you already knew most of his characteristics. You could almost read him like a book. 

Not many people can immediately tell that Ri is a kitsune. Sure, they say that he looks weird and off-putting. But no one exposed him immediately; it was only after they saw his Taima no ken.

Of course, because of that, Ri was amused with you. He asked you to accompany him on his journey of slaying Mononoke and selling medicine.

You had agreed, and your journey with him started.

As you both continued to know more about each other, he realized how knowledgeable you are when it comes to kitsunes and foxes. You knew a lot about kitsunes being the messengers from Inari, the God of rice, agriculture, and success. 

Each day, he was more intrigued by your knowledge. 

Today, you were both staying in a small inn, and you were both relaxing on the engawa. When suddenly a little Japanese red fox appeared from a nearby bush.

Ri watched you as you slowly walked towards the small fox and started petting it. He was preparing himself to pull you away in case the mother of the kit attacked you. He knew how mother foxes can be aggressive when it comes to their kits.

To his shock, 2 more kits jumped out, and the mother of the kits came out as well.

You started to pet the other 2, but the first one started to pull on your kimono for your attention again. Soon, the kits started to play-fight each other and even you, or at least try to with your hand or pull your kimono. The mother fox lays comfortably as she watches her kits play fight with you.

You turned your head to Ri, “Ri come! Look at how cute they are! And they are so soft!”

Ri was still shocked but shook it off and walked towards you. He crouched down to the kits, and soon, they started to play fight with his hand as well. 

A small smile formed on his face, “I surely thought you would get attacked by their mother. I guess there's still more I need to learn about you.”

You both kept playing with the kits as you told Ri some facts about foxes. He would even talk about his knowledge of them as well.

After some time, the foxes left, due to it becoming night. You were upset when you and Ri entered back into your inn. But that's when you realized that the kits had torn and dirtied your kimono. While they were minor holes, they were still visible for people to see.

“Why don't you change into your yukata, and I’ll try and fix the holes they left with the materials I have in my box,” he suggested.

You were grateful for his offer and nodded. You went into the bathroom to change out of your kimono and flooded it neatly, put on the yukata, and slid your kimono past the door. Once that was done, you went back to fixing your yukata and preparing to go to sleep. 

After a few minutes, you exited the bathroom and went to where you and Ri's futons were. You saw that Ri had patched up most of the holes. 

You were bored and decided to look into his box, curious about what else he had. Soon, you opened a drawer that had multiple shunga’s. In all honesty, you weren't surprised. You knew that kitsunes were known to sometimes be lustful creatures.

You picked one up, “You know it's not surprising for you kitsunes to have these. But aren’t you a bit embarrassed to have these near me?”

“Not at all. If you already knew, then there would be no point in hiding it. Besides, maybe one day you would want to learn more than just foxes and kitsunes. I wouldn’t mind helping at all.” He answered with his monotone voice and with a smirk as he eyed you.

You smack the back of his head with the shunga in your hand, “Don't say stuff like that.”

You put back the shunga and sat behind Ri and started playing with his hair. You comb your fingers through his long, dirty blond hair. It was calming to both of you.

You two spent a few more minutes in comfortable silence as you continued to caress his hair. After some time, you ended up on his lap as he supported you by holding your hips.

You were caressing his face. This was the first time you'd felt his face. And surprisingly it’s somewhat soft yet still rough.

You then made eye contact with him. That's when you realized how awkward the position appeared. You immediately got off of him and said goodnight before going into your futon.

How bold were you!? Not thinking about how it would look before it happened!?

But he didn't look like he had anything negative to say. He could have told you quickly since he's usually always blunt.

Little did you know he did enjoy having his face caressed by you. And he did have to admit, it was nice holding you by the hips and having you close.

Bonus♡:

You heard that a common fear among kitsunes are dogs. Most kitsunes when they see a dog and are scared of it, they would turn back into a fox and run away.

You were curious and wanted to see if this applied to Ri. 

You both were walking a dirt path when you heard a dog bark. You looked back and saw a dog running towards you both.

You looked at Ri, expecting something to happen. But to your disappointment nothing, not even a small reaction.

The dog just barked and then ran back to where it came from.

You let out a sigh of defeat that doesn't go unnoticed.

“You're correct about kitsunes being afraid of dogs. But just like humans, some have fewer or more fears than others.”

Taima no ken (1) - Sword of exorcism

Engawa (2) - A traditional Japanese architecture

Kit(s) (3) - Another way of saying pups/cubs to baby foxes

Shunga (4) - Magazine filled with Japanese art tradition of erotic imagery

~Lilly's

[djuvlipen]

Tera Fabianova

Tera Fabiánová (née Kurinová, 15 October 1930, Žihárec, Šaľa district - 23 March 2007, Prague) was a prominent Romani writer. When she was four years old, her family moved them to her mother's native village of Vlčany (Šaľa district), where they built a house of unfired bricks. Because of the war, Tera completed only three grades of primary school, which became the subject of one of her best-known stories, Sar me phiravas andre škola (How I Went to School). After the war, the Kurins went to Moravia to work, where Tera worked in agriculture at the age of sixteen and later in Prague on construction sites or as a maid.

She met her husband Vojta Fabián, a professional soldier originally from the village of Kurima (Bardějov district), at the age of eighteen. They had four children, one of whom, a son, died while he was young; the Fabiáns divorced after forty years of marriage. Vojta Fabián[1] did not have much sympathy for his emancipated wife, which is why the position and role of the Roma woman became a frequent subject of her texts. Tera Fabiánová worked for thirty-five years as a crane operator at ČKD Praha, retiring from there on a disability pension due to impaired health.

She was fluent in four languages and began writing in the 1960s – originally in Hungarian, but soon switching to Romani. Her output includes short stories, poems, fairy tales and feuilletons; it deals with the position of the Roma in society, the emancipation of women in the Roma family, violence in marriage and the friendship between humans and animals. Tera Fabiánová's poems – such as those in the anthology Romane giľa (Romany Songs, 1979) – mainly express feelings of loneliness, disappointment, and nostalgia for her Slovak home. In the early 1970s, she published in the magazine Romano ľil (Romany Journal), which was published by the Union of Gypsies-Roma as the first Romani periodical in Czechoslovakia. Her essay promoting the self-esteem of Romani women became the first piece written in Romani in this magazine. As a pioneer of writing in Romani, she became a role model for future generations of Romani women writers, despite the regime’s disapproval and limited publishing opportunities.

[johnbierce]

Hello kind sir!

I have read your Mage Errant series many a time, and finally decided to try something that I've been wanting to do for a long while now. Write my own book. I was hoping to ask you for some advice on how to build my own magic system, as books like yours and He Who Fights With Monsters have some of the best magic systems I've ever read in any book. I personally like your magic system over any of the close seconds I've seen, honestly just because. Could I ask you how you thought up such a good magic system, and some dangers I might fall into?

Many thanks,

AncienRaven124

Oooh, this is a topic that I can- and have- write thousands of words on. Here's a post I wrote on the topic almost six years ago now on Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/Fantasy/comments/cg9az5/the_problem_with_the_hardsoft_magic_scale/ I did a lecture on magic system design for Elegant Literature magazine last year (as well as another on science-inspired worldbuilding), though those are only available for subscribers to the magazine. https://www.elegantliterature.com/authorhq/#all

I am, in fact, planning an entire nonfiction worldbuilding book, with extensive magic system sections- though that's likely a couple years off.

I'm... kinda in the position of having too much to say on the topic, honestly. It's hard to think of what specific advice to give you. My process tends to be deeply research-heavy- Mage Errant's magic system takes inspiration from sources as diverse as geology and chemistry to Foucault's description of medieval "linguistics" in The Order of Things. I build highly complex magic systems that are emergent processes from alternate natural law, and it's a ton of fun for me, but it's hardly the only good way to do it. I think, more important than making a complex or original magic system? Is figuring out how it would impact the setting. Not just fight scenes and epic battles (though those are certainly fun), but everyday infrastructure, logistics, engineering, art, agriculture, even entertainment. One example I used in the Elegant Literature magazine? A magic system that has only one effect- altering the compressibility of water. In real life, even in the ocean depths, water compresses by less than one percent. It's ridiculously resistant to compression. If you could alter that property, you could do some crazy stuff! Create hyper-efficient water hydraulic engines, where the magic makes water compressible on the down-stroke, then deactivates on the up-stroke, gaining a disproportionate quantity of mechanical energy as the water violently decompresses. Or, use the magic to create non-incendiary explosives by filling up a metal tank with far more compressed water than would otherwise fit, and when you release the magic... bang. You could have some absolutely bizarre effects on water sports- I have trouble even fully figuring out how fast a swimmer could go by selectively making water compressible in front of them. Heck, you could probably design a fire-free technological civilization with that magic, with enough engineering and hydrology know-how. (Hence why I'm not using that magic system for anything- I'm a neophyte in engineering, and fluid dynamics is... look, the less said, the better. I'm bad at normal math, let alone math for modeling fluid dynamics.) As long as you keep your magic system consistent, sufficiently comprehensible, and fun, the specifics of the system itself are frankly less important than the applications. It's the creative ways that you use magic in your society, the way it alters culture, language, civilization, history, even art, that really are going to matter the most, far over the properties of the magic itself. And readers don't need to fully understand the magic system- nor do your characters! Having a magic system that is still being researched, that people are still discovering principles of or uses for, is the approach that I prefer and recommend! Just... play fair with it. Don't introduce random new magical principles as a deus ex machina. Foreshadow, build groundwork, etc.

Oh, and above all else? Make sure your magic system serves the story, not vice versa. Whether you're making up the rules as you write, and only fixing them up during editing; or starting with a hyper-strict magic system and forcing yourself to come up with creative solutions to magical problems that follow the rules? Make sure it all serves the story.

[rjzimmerman]

Some of the finalists for the "Wildlife Photographer of the Year" award. The contest is developed and produced by the Natural History Museum in London. In a separate post, I embedded a photo by the photographer Francisco Negroni of a volcano erupting in Chile with unreal atmospheric effects (colors and clouds). I'm including just a few of the finalist photos in this post.

"Annoying Neighbour" by Bence Máté. Description from Smithsonian Magazine:

A European roller performs acrobatics in an attempt to drive a little owl out of its breeding territory. A brilliant blue European roller in Hungary’s Kiskunság National Park appears frozen upside-down in mid-air, performing dramatic dives and rolls true to its name. The bird’s mating display consists of similar airborne acrobatics. The species has only a short mating season, and the male bird intends to take advantage of it—he “makes a sport of annoying other birds that stray into its breeding area,” according to a statement accompanying the shot. He might ambush the other creature and chase it down at a high speed. Hungarian photographer Bence Máté spent 27 days watching from a hide before capturing this shot.

"Curious Connection" by Nora Milligan. Description from Smithsonian Magazine:

A chimpanzee climbs a tree in Gabon and stares into the camera lens, making eye contact with the photographer. The call of a chimp rang out through Gabon’s Loango National Park. While on a guided trek through the forest, American photographer Nora Milligan and her group paused, listening. A family of chimpanzees, known to researchers as the Rekambo group, emerged from the brush and started to climb the nearby trees. “This particular chimp paused, his curiosity piqued, and sat still long enough to observe me in return. I knew we had made a true connection when he craned his neck forward and widened his eyes to get a better look at me,” Milligan writes on Instagram. “I hope my image can play some small part to inspire others to seek this same connection and care for all living beings on Earth.”

"Snuffling Sengi" by Piotr Naskrecki. Description from Smithsonian Magazine:

A four-toed sengi forages in Gorongosa National Park, Mozambique.

At dawn and dusk, the rarely seen four-toed sengi emerges to feast on insects. The elusive species, seen here in Mozambique’s Gorongosa National Park, might look like a rodent—but it’s actually more closely related to elephants. Its other name, the four-toed elephant shrew, refers to its trunk-like snout. Because sengis are skittish, Polish photographer Piotr Naskrecki didn’t want to scare them away—so, rather than lying on the ground to capture this shot, he set up a remote camera. For this method, he had to somewhat anticipate where and when the mammals would forage.

"Wolf Pack" by Arvind Ramamurthy. Description from Smithsonian Magazine:

Five wolf cubs pause amid play to look at the camera as they frolic near farms in India.  Not far from farming fields in Bhigwan, India, a pack of five wolves pauses amid play, each one staring into the camera. Indian photographer Arvind Ramamurthy captured the shot, which he calls a “unique natural history moment,” in a video posted to Instagram. But it also tells a larger story, he adds. “As their native habitat of grasslands are depleting, more and more wolves are moving into agricultural spaces,” Ramamurthy says in the video. “And that brings them into direct conflict with us humans.”

"Fallen from the Sky" by Carlo D’Aurizio. Description from Smithsonian Magazine:

Dead insects float in a stream in Italy, creating a somber mosaic of color and stilled wings. When Italian photographer Carlo D'Aurizio came upon this stream in Italy’s Majella National Park, he expected to see butterflies and dragonflies fluttering around the water. Instead, he found insect bodies floating, with no explanation as to what had happened to them. It was a summer morning, but the weather hadn’t been hot enough to cause a mass die-off. The reason for this “sad collage” remains a mystery, but it created a still life trapped in the water’s surface tension.

"Unsold" by Jose Fragozo. Description from Smithsonian Magazine:

A rescue operation in eastern Africa retrieved this cheetah cub from the illegal wildlife trade. Cheetahs get roped into the illegal wildlife trade in the Somali Region of Ethiopia, often when farmers capture and sell them, claiming the animals had been a threat to their business, according to a statement. Not all cubs sell, however, and some are killed, since their parts, especially bones, are valuable in Asian markets, such as for bone soup.Photographer Jose Fragozo of Portugal captured this shot during a rescue operation, which began after authorities got an anonymous tip. This cheetah cub had been taken from the wild and transported via camel to the northern coast of Somaliland. Though the young cat began chirping for its mother, the rescue was ultimately successful, acquiring this cub and bringing it to a safe place. “An important part of Wildlife Photographer of the Year is highlighting powerful and sometimes challenging stories about the natural world, as well as the effects of human impact on the planet,” the Wildlife Photographer of the Year account writes on Instagram. “We hope that by creating more awareness of the challenges faced by wildlife globally, we can inspire change and create advocates for our natural world.”

"Aspen Shadows" by Devon Pradhuman. Description from Smithsonian Magazine:

Gray wolves amble through Yellowstone National Park in the snow, framed behind a group of aspen trees. Four grey wolves walk single file through a snowy Yellowstone National Park, dotting a nearly barren landscape. In this composition, the mammals are joined only by a grouping of aspen trees, leafless against the winter ground. American photographer Devon Pradhuman watched from a distance as the wolves approached the trees, followed the rest of the tree line and disappeared over a hillside on the hunt for their next meal.

[eirinstiva]

All the world's a stage: His Last Bow

Today I received the last story of the year from my dear friend Watson. Did he write it? Apparently he didn't. It was Sir Arthur Conan Doyle? Billy again? Mycroft Holmes? We don't know, but at least I'm sure the author wasn't Sherlock Holmes because there's not a single cry of "my Watson would do this better". We know our drama queen. My theory is that Mycroft wrote it after hearing Sherlock and John talking about this case, and then ACD edited it.

[ID: Cover of The Strand Magazine vol. 65, no. 321, September 1917. And illustration of a street in navy blue. Crossing the middle of the page there's a red band with Sherlock Holmes profile that says "Sherlock Holmes outwits a German Spy]

There are many reasons of why I love this story: Holmes has the chance to use chloroform:

[ID: Sherlock Holmes (as Altamont) with a goatee, using chlorofom-soaked rag to sleep Von Bork. Illustration by Alfred Gilbert]

Holmes and Watson working together once more:

[ID: Holmes and Watson walking Von Bork slowly. Illustration by Alfred Gilbert]

Holmes in disguise with longer hair and a horrible goatee, the references to professor Moriarty, colonel Moran and Irene Adler Norton, Martha the housekeeper (Mrs. Hudson? I don't know) there's a cat! but what I really like is how Sherlock Holmes used all his knowledge, talent and expertise to work as a spy.

This is his last case. This is his last play. That's why the title of this story has been translated into Spanish as Su último saludo en el escenario, El último saludo (as in my copy of Todo Sherlock Holmes) or La última reverencia. The detective works incognito for two years: he changes his appearance, he speaks with American accent and he travels to another places. Sherlock is an actor and all the world is a stage, and for his last show he calls his friend Watson to work with him at his side for the grand finale. Holmes takes the time to drink wine with Watson and to talk about everything and nothing while Von Bork is tied (somebody is third-wheeling here, or as we say in Chile, Von Bork is playing the violin). The detective takes the chance to steal £500, use his own book Practical Handbook of Bee Culture as a decoy, and make a dramatic identity reveal because Holmes loves to be dramatic, and he really loves to be dramatic when Watson is at his side. The previous short stories are the evidence.

What happened after this? my friend Doctor Watson answer this question in the preface of the book His Last Bow:

The friends of Mr. Sherlock Holmes will be glad to learn tha he is still alive and well, though somewhat crippled by occasional attacks of rheumatism. He has, for many years, lived in a small farm upon the downs five miles from Eastbourne, where his time is divided between philosophy and agriculture. During this period of rest he has refused the most princely offers to take up various cases, having determined that his retorement was a permanent one. The approach of the German war caused him however, to lay his remarkable combination of intellectual and practical activity at the disposal of the government, with historical results which are recounted in His Last Bow. Several previous experiences which have lain long in my portfolio have been added to His Last Bow so as to complete the volumen JOHN H. WATSON, M.D.

It's been a year since Letters from Watson reunited old and new fans to read the short stories on Sherlock Holmes and next year it's time to read the novels!

[lexlaine]

Writeblr Intro

Hi writeblr. I write under the name Lex Laine.

I write fiction exclusively. Speculative, sci-fi, and horror. Maybe some poetry. Maybe some unearthed archives. Possibly some of my TTRPG module content if the mood strikes. I am unpublished but prospecting.

About Me

They/them, 31 yo, queer as heck

Engineer moonlighting as a writer

Consumer of content: books, cinema, art; especially of the horror variety

Submission Calls That Fill Me With Dread

Apex Magazine

Planet Scummy

Clarkesworlde Magazine

The Nottingham Horror Collective

WIPS That Haunt Me

Paragon Parting. Adult speculative horror. TW: just about everything. Tags: paragon parting. A brain-melting prion disease becomes transmissable and extinction is wrought upon humanity. Is redemption possible when survival necessitates destruction? —> https://editor.reedsy.com/s/ueel0Pl

Flora Story. Adult fantastical horror. TW: body horror. Tags: flora story. Dalliance with dark entities endentures two young socialites to propagation of an agricultural beast. What are morals, anyways? —> https://novlr.org/share/65407b08ce63dc3fa1aa9eb3/65407abece63dc488baa6f24

The Neon Mainly. Adult speculative sci-fi. Tags: neon mainly. Utopian cyberpunk gig economy aesthetics consumes Unsolved Mysteries in this plot-driven exploration of ethics and obligation. —> https://novlr.org/share/65407a43ce63dc8452a9ff8d/654078d8ce63dc3c29a8e134

Books I’ve Read This Year That Changed Me

The Dark Star Trilogy by Marlon James

Blindsight by Peter Watts

The Dead Take the A Train by Richard Kadrey and Cassandra Khaw

Mister Magic by Kiersten White

Cursed Bunny by Bora Chung

Looking for….

Beautiful words to fill my heart

Beta (and alpha, let’s be real) readers

Community and writer friends

I’m looking for more writeblrs! Please interact with this post if you think I’d enjoy your work. Happy to beta read sci-fi, horror, and speculative fiction.

[whimsicaldragonette]

Blog Tour and Arc Review: The Lily of Ludgate Hill by Mimi Matthews

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Publication Date: January 16, 2024

Welcome to The Lily of Ludgate Hill book tour with Berkley Publishing Group. (This blog tour post is also posted on my Wordpress book blog Whimsical Dragonette.)

Synopsis:

Lady Anne Deveril doesn’t spook easily. A woman of lofty social standing known for her glacial beauty and starchy opinions, she’s the unofficial leader of her small group of equestriennes. Since her mother’s devastating plunge into mourning six years ago, Anne voluntarily renounced any fanciful notions of love and marriage. And yet, when fate puts Anne back into the entirely too enticing path of Mr. Felix Hartford, she’s tempted to run…right into his arms. No one understands why Lady Anne withdrew into the shadows of society, Hart least of all. The youthful torch he once held for her has long since cooled. Or so he keeps telling himself. But now Anne needs a favor to help a friend. Hart will play along with her little ruse—on the condition that Anne attend a holiday house party at his grandfather’s country estate. No more mourning clothes. No more barriers. Only the two of them, unrequited feelings at last laid bare. Finally free to gallop out on her own, Anne makes the tantalizing discovery that beneath the roguish exterior of her not-so-white knight is a man with hidden depths, scorching passions—and a tender heart.

Author Bio:

USA Today bestselling author Mimi Matthews writes both historical nonfiction and award-winning Victorian romances. Her novels have received starred reviews in Publishers Weekly, Library Journal, Booklist, Kirkus, and Shelf Awareness, and her articles have been featured on the Victorian Web, the Journal of Victorian Culture, and in syndication at BUST Magazine. In her other life, Mimi is an attorney. She resides in California with her family, which includes a retired Andalusian dressage horse, a Sheltie, and two Siamese cats. Learn more online at www.mimimatthews.com.

Author Photo Credit: Vicki Hahn

Rating: ★★★★

*My Review, Favorite Quotes, and Non-Exclusive Extract below the cut.

My Review:

I loved this. It was exactly the sort of banter-filled stubborn hero and heroine who are gone for each other but refuse to admit it story that I love. It's easily the best of the Belles of London series. Anne and Hartford are perfect for each other but it takes them a while to admit it. The only problem I had with it was that it was *extremely* predictable. I knew exactly how it was going to go from the beginning and there was no deviating from that. I actually stopped about 75% of the way through and checked goodreads to make sure I hadn't already read it before. I hadn't. And yet I had predicted every. single. thing that happened. It was like deja vu but more so. The last quarter unfolded exactly as I expected it to. I don't know if the foreshadowing was just really intense or what but that did lessen my enjoyment of the story. Aside from that, however, everything else was exactly as I like in a historical romance. I am curious about the next one, as well, after meeting who will obviously be the new wheelchair-bound, artist hero. I have high hopes because neither of those is something we typically get in a romance hero. *Thanks to NetGalley and Berkley for providing an early copy for review.

Favorite Quotes:

"I wish I were more eccentric," Anne declared, rousing her spirits to the cause. "I might have traveled to Yorkshire weeks ago and saved Julia from her fate."

Non-Exclusive Excerpt:

The twin fragrances of pipe smoke and parchment met her nose. Lemon polish, too, though there was no sign that the maids had done any recent tidying up. The library was a place of spectacular clutter. Bookcases lined three of the walls; leather-bound volumes on botany, agriculture, and natural history were pulled out at all angles as if an absent-minded researcher had wandered from shelf to shelf withdrawing tomes at random only to change his mind midway through extracting them. The fourth wall was entirely covered in framed sketches of flowers and greenery. Some images were produced in pencil and others in delicately rendered watercolor. They were-along with the teetering stacks of botanical journals and drooping maps that spilled over the sides of the earl's carved mahogany desk-evidence of his prevailing passion. Lord March's love of exotic plants was legendary. He'd spent much of his life traveling the globe, from the wilds of America to the highest peaks of the Himalayas, bringing back rare seeds to nurture into bloom. A distracted fellow at the best of times, but a kind one, too, as far as Anne recalled. It had been a long time since she'd darkened his doorstep. A lifetime, it felt like. She tugged restlessly at her black kid-leather gloves as she paced the worn carpet in front of the library's cavernous marble fireplace. She'd never excelled at waiting for unpleasantness to arrive. Fortunately, she didn't have to wait long. "Hello, old thing." A familiar deep voice sounded from the library door. Anne spun around, her traitorous heart giving an involuntary leap in her breast. Mr. Felix Hartford stood in the entryway, one shoulder propped against the doorframe. Lord only knew how long he'd been observing her. She stiffened. After all these years, he still had the power to discompose her. Drat him. But she wouldn't permit her emotions to be thrown into chaos by his attractive face and figure. What cared she for his commanding height? His square-chiseled jaw? For the devilish glint in his sky-blue eyes? And devil he was. The very one she'd come here to see. "Hartford," she said. Her chin ticked up a notch in challenge. It was a reflex. There was no occasion on which they'd met during the course of the past several years that they hadn't engaged in verbal battle. This time, however, he made no attempt to engage her. He was dressed in plaid trousers and a loose-fitting black sack coat worn open to reveal the dark waistcoat beneath. A casual ensemble, made more so by the state of him. His clothes were vaguely rumpled, and so was his seal-brown hair. It fell over his brow, desperately in need of an application of pomade. There was an air of arrested preoccupation about him, as if he'd just returned from somewhere or was on his way to somewhere. As if he hadn't realized she was in the library and had come upon her quite by chance. An unnatural silence stretched between them, void of their typical barb-filled banter. Greetings dispensed with, Anne found herself at an unaccountable loss. More surprising still, so did Hartford. He remained frozen on the threshold, his usually humorous expression turned to stone on his handsome face. At length, he managed a smile. "I knew one day you'd walk through my door again. It only took you"-withdrawing his pocket watch from his waistcoat, he cast it a brief glance, brows lifting as if in astonishment at the time-"seven years to do it." She huffed. "It hasn't been seven years." "Six and half, then." Six years and five months, more like. It had been early December of 1855, during the Earl of March's holiday party. She'd been just shy of seventeen; young and naive and not formally out yet. Hartford had kissed her under a sprig of mistletoe in the gaslit servants' hallway outside the kitchens. And he'd proposed to her.

But Anne refused to think of the past. Never mind that, living in London, reminders of it were daily shoved under her nose. "You're not going to be difficult, are you?" she asked. "That depends." He strolled into the room. "To what do I owe your visit?" "Presumptuous, as always," she said. "For all you know, I'm here to see your grandfather." Hartford was the only child of the Earl of March's second son-the late (and much lamented) moralist Everett Hartford. Anne well remembered the man. He'd been as straitlaced and starchy as a vicar. Rather ironic, really, given his son's reputation for recklessness and irreverence. "My grandfather is in his greenhouse," Hartford said, "elbow deep in chicken manure. If it's him you've come to speak with, you're in for a long wait." She suppressed a grimace. There was no need for him to be crass. "Really, Hartford." "Really, my lady." He advanced into the room slowly, his genial expression doing little to mask the fact that he was a great towering male bearing down on her. "Why have you come?" Anne held her ground. She wasn't afraid of him. "I've come to ask a favor of you." His mouth curled up at one corner. "Better and better." He gestured to a stuffed settee upholstered in Gobelins tapestry. "Pray sit down."

Excerpted from The Lily of Ludgate Hill by Mimi Matthews Copyright © 2024 by Mimi Matthews. Excerpted by permission of Berkley. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

[summercreolefanfictioner]

(would’ve asked you in private but we’re having a very important convo about your dog and i just can’t take a break from that) gil to me seems like someone who like warmer climates, france seems warm to me tbh and i can also picture im in the south of france most of the time and of my girl dev sets foot in the human world for someone other than business, you’ll literally find her in the most far away place in scotland where it’s cold and rainy and cloudy and i was curious, if my hc about gilbert liking warm climates how would he view spending a holiday with devyn in scotland?

you make me write abt gil and dev in ungodly hours haha

you've never been to heaven, have you? || autumn dates with devyn

characters: gilbert feinze, devyn kang (feat. aurora and karlheinz)

tw: mentions of sex

-it's safe to say that gilbert is not a fan of colder climates, but it wasn't like he despised it either; but hey at least scotland is not a fvcking scorching summer ground

-so yeah he still followed our darling devyn there bcos boy was so lovesick and he needed answers after their slowburn moment of almost kissing in the one ball

-the night where gilbert was sure something did happen between them

-so when he showed up at her doorsteps, dressed in his high-fashion winter outfit looking like a mafia winter playboy magazine cover of Chanel, devyn almost shut the door in his face, her face red as a tomato as she couldn't believe that he flew all this way to follow her

-and all for that one reason she's trying to avoid

-"I told you not to follow me."

-"I didn't follow you, darling Devyn. I came here after you. If I followed you, then I should've been here the day you arrived."

-devyn swore she wanted to wipe off that shit-eating grin from his face and kick him out so he can bury himself in the snow, but at the same time, she supposes a company from a friend won't hurt

-so yeah she just let him be. besides gil was even helping her out like serving her coffee or arranging some of her paperworks so she can be quickly done. would even feed the dog for her

-even cooks for her bcos devyn is not aware of lunch hours until her stomach started growling out of nowhere

-yes i do the cooking yes i do the cleaning

-he was even helping her find solutions on some of the problems for karl's projects, so let's say there's a dispute between a mining company and an agriculture organization, he will provide a different angle so devyn can formulate an arrangement

-how nice, she thinks, it's like the same old times

-nah it wasn't the same bcos sometimes she would catch him looking at her like she was the most magnificent piece of abstract art

-so once she was done with her work (mind you, she stayed up all night), she spotted gilbert already cozying up on the couch, wrapped in one of her spare thick blankets bcos he can't fvcking stand too much cold

-devyn approached him, carefully shaking him while saying, "you can sleep on my bed, it's far larger" (yeah bcos man is so tall I swear)

-"Are you inviting me for sex?"

-"W-wha—I AM NOT!"

-"Then don't casually offer that suggestion, or I might not be able to control myself."

-so devyn went back to her room and slept, convincing herself that everything is like how they should be, sleeping and hoping to travel in good dreams

-however, all she could see was darkness and despair, flashes of lighting and a huge wave of flood rushing towards her until she saw her beloved and precious aurora giving up every fiber of being she has, chanting devyn's name like a song

-and then she drowned and was never to be seen again. devyn was overcomed with grief as she tried to rescue her

-but no, she saw karlheinz drowning aurora even further, making sure this will be her last breath so she wouldn't be able to touch devyn again. he was smirking evilly as if to say everything played right under his palm

-and that's when devyn woke up with a start, with gil knocking on her door and asking her if something bad happened

-she quickly jumped out of the bed, opening the door and hugging gil as if to tell herself that someone she loves was still alive and untouched by karl, her tears staining his shirt as she cried on his chest

-when gil finally felt her calming down from her heightened emotions, he took her to bed and made sure she was warm and comfy surrounded by blankets

-"I'll go now, darling Devyn. You need sleep because you still have work— "

-but she won't let go, grabbing him by the wrist as she desperately whispered, "Please don't leave. Stay. Stay with me."

-"I'm not going anywhere. I'll leave Scotland the same day you are."

-No!" she almost cried, her eyes glassy with tear stains on her cheeks. "Not that... just... don't leave me here. I... I need you."

-and she kept repeating to him

-"I need you."

-"I need you."

-"I need you."

-"I NEED YOU."

-he grabbed her shoulders and made her look at him seriously.

-"Listen, Devyn. I will do anything you want me to do for you, and that's how much I'm willing to go. However, once this happens, there's no turning back. We'll be risking everything, even our lives, just for this. Are you sure this is the way you want to die?"

-she nodded, desperate to be in his arms

-and afterward, everything was a hazy blur of needy kisses, hot whispers, tangled limbs, and devotions of love and passion

-they were in heaven... for now

-because this sinful affair will lead them to hell after

[peppershark]

Seriously blushing.

When I started writing I was working as a journalist for trade magazines in the agriculture sector. I had no idea how my dreamy story-scapes would land with readers, until I started getting reviews.

This review seriously made me tear up.

Reviews are the lifeblood of indie authors. Only a tiny percentage of readers actually leave reviews--but a solid body of reviews can mean a potential reader giving a book a chance or deciding to pass!

Read one of my stories? Click on the cover and it will take you directly to the review page:

Thanks so much to everyone who has read, reviewed and help me get launched!

[writing-prompt-entries]

Writing Prompt #3

It was insightful to think about societal and personal preferences of consumer items. comparing a seemingly "imperfect" potato to a more "perfect" potato showed how people think differently but also generally agree on what is disliked or liked as a group but also a personal choice. Even for me, it was interesting as I was a bit conflicted though I made my choice for more so practical reasons, I still felt bad that the "ugly" potatoes were not chosen as well. One thing to also consider is the order of how the potatoes were shown, would the test be different/create different impressions on the judging process. But ultimately it was interesting to also learn how marketing can help shift this idea to bypass or even help people look into buying "imperfect" foods such as the baby carrot example or the Uglies chip bags. There are also a lot of ethics to think about as well (Environmental consciousness, marketing food waste, helping local farmers, personal preference)

Strategies liked and most effective:

I think the most effective was the labeling strategies that emphasize that the vegetables used are not going to be perfect, and if anything you are getting what is being stated. Initially, the magazine/model strategy is most interesting as it puts a lot of focus on imperfections in what vegetables may look like but I feel that it does drive us to actively or passively think about the topic. It's very interesting to look at and creates a string statement, however, I don't see the incentive to actively look at imperfect vegetables. (Creates awareness but not marketing) The one major concern I have is the use of ethics in advertising/pressuring consumers to engage in looking for no-perfect foods. Overall, I think that these are all valid strategies in their own right.

Would knowing more about the systemic level change thoughts about solutions:

Learning more about how industries and agriculture work I think that it definitely makes is harder to work with/through. There are a lot of unseen/unregulated that give leeway to making production cheaper but at the same time regulation is important in large-scale production. Companies may be reducing food waste however it feels ultimately performative. Also, consider the accessibility of consumers to the foods they want or need. One thing to consider is the box/labeling example markets well, but it may not be price accessible to the general public/toes that need it what can you do the improve these systems from a marketing and graphical design standpoint!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

diasomnia, 1 — 19

***Spoilers ahead!!!***

Note: this is just a general summary of what has happened so far and my initial reactions to those major events. I focused my comments on whatever interests me the most (ie lore and funny character interactions), so there are definitely details that were overlooked and lines that were simplified to make a joke; please do not rely on this as a translation.

Big thanks to @shuuenmei and @curekibouka-writing for clarifying the more confusing tracks of the story (some parts were difficult to follow the sequence of events for) and the details of the✨ deep lore ✨ It was fun screaming with the both of you—

Ah yes, Yuu’s Sleeping Beauty dream right on cue. Finally starting to put together the puzzle pieces, huh (Yuu goes to check on the Great Seven statues to confirm they saw the Fairy of Thorns in their dreams)? About time—

As expected, Sebek loses his mind and tells Yuu to not abuse Malleus’s kindness. He’s also super pissed that Malleus and Yuu act familiar with each other (and over the nickname). Yup, that interaction went about as well as we all predicted…

Not Lilia being the “I’m an anime boy late for anime school (the internship meeting)!” trope 😂 All he needs is some toast in his mouth!

Crowley talks about boring things how the internships will work and we hear more about the areas of interest for the third years.

Lore ✨ Each internship “semester” is 3 months and you can only take certain internships if you qualify for them via your grades, credits, and electives. You can choose to do 3 separate internships (again, 3 months each) or do 1 internship (for all 9 months). A B or higher is needed on two of the “semesters” to graduate. Students must also submit reports each semester. Some places additionally require interviews and/or special tests to be passed before a student is accepted as an intern. Placements are not first-come, first-serve; you need to earn that spot.

Trey says he wants to do something related to pastries or agriculture; basically, things close to food production 🌾 He wants to take advantage of his opportunities as an NRC student while he still can!! Trey said he wants to work right after school rather than go to university.

Cater is interested in the entertainment industry; he mentions magazines and videos?? It seems he isn’t interested in higher education.

HELP they randomly mention that Ace’s older brother interned in the entertainment industry too (it gets brought up when Cater was considering a theme park for his own internship)??? TRAPPOLA NII ALSO CURRENTLY WORKS IN ENTERTAINMENT????? When do we get to meet him, Ace—

Vil is continuing to advance his own career in film. He already picked out a studio to apply for, and expresses an interest in magical pharmaceuticals (though he doesn’t intend on going to college). Very fitting specialties for everyone, I must say!

Rook is interested in archeology so he can learn more about the world! After learning about S.T.Y.X., he realizes there’s so much more he doesn’t yet know. According to Trey, Rook does appear to intend to pursue college/higher level studies.

LMAO at Trey constantly having to translate Rook-isms for everyone 😂 Classic Science Club…

Unca Weona is cwanky cuz the talking is disturbing his nappy—

Leona’s going to a mining and energy facility in his home country. It’s an option offered only to those with high grades. Leona wants to be a lazy ass 🦁 “They won’t fail their prince, lmao”

Idia is doing an software engineering internship at Olympus Corp (ie TWST Google) 👀 This is huge because back at the end of episode 5 (ie the episode 6 preview), Idia was actively rejecting offers from Olympus Corp, claiming that he wasn’t welcome anywhere. Character growth… Idia isn’t welcome back at S.T.Y.X. because of the Overblotting and how it nearly exposed the organization to the public eye LOL 😂 Absentee Shroud parents upset with him cksbskwbkcnfke

Malleus doesn’t seem to be interested in picking an internship; he says that, to him, 3 months is too short a time to really learn anything (temporal dissonance strikes again). In the end, he is going to research historical ruins?? He can hang out with the Gargoyles 😎 and Rollo/j

BRO WHAT ???? Lilia is dropping out of NRC??? THE FUQ,,,,!.’sveksbskebkzvczbvvv?$$$&85inmw I had to hard stop at this scene because it caught me by surprise.

The first years are talking about Mickey (like if there are certain conditions to get him to appear??). Oh god, they're planning a Mickey Mouse stakeout????? AND ORTHO IS INCLUDED IN THE GROUP AWWWW 🥺 He searches his databases and uses his cool robot tech to look for more information about Mickey but finds nothing.

GRIM MAKES A SUS COMMENT ABOUT HOW ORTHO IS MORE HELPFUL WITH THIS (Mickey and Yuu's worlds perhaps being tied or related to one another) THAN CROWLEY IS.

They overhear Sebek shouting in the cafeteria; he’s in disbelief that Lilia is dropping out of school.

So anyway, Lilia’s magic has, in fact, weakened significantly (he was almost late for the internship meeting because he woke up and found that he couldn't teleport). He plans on retiring in the Land of the Crimson Dragon (Mushu???? IS THAT YOU).

Interesting??? It seems that Lilia has been progressively losing his powers since even before Sebek and Silver were born… It’s not a super recent occurrence.

Sebek and Silver are understandably upset and mention that while it would be easy for either of them to visit Lilia, it would be almost impossible for Malleus because he will be so inundated with his royal duties after graduation. Malleus is distraught as well, but he insists that they respect Lilia's decision. AND HE’S LEAVING IN LIKE A WEEK? That’s barely enough time to mourn or to emotionally prepare for the fallout…

Malleus pitches an idea to talk to his grandma to not overwork Lilia (vice dorm leaders being overworked? What? In this game? Nooooooo/s).

Malleus's grandma is name-dropped (Maleficia)??? Is everyone in the Draconia family just Mal-something????

LOTS OF OMINOUS DIALOGUE ("Time is running out", "Fate cannot be defied", etc.)

After that whole conversation it’s clear that something isn’t right (despite Malleus maintaining his calm in front of Diasomnia). As soon as he’s away from them, the weather instantly turns stormy AND we see Malleus's blot accumulating as early as 7-13 in what I assume will be a very meaty episode.

Sebek and Silver help Lilia pack; Silver finds this tin in Lilia’s room. There is an old bracelet of acorns and thread inside.

Lilia shows up and says that it’s the most precious item he’s ever been gifted??? But it’s not clear who it’s from.

There's another item in the tin (the ring on a chain)! It has a weird effect on Silver?? I think it makes him sleepy???

The gem in the ring is the same color as Silver’s eyes; Lilia thinks its because his parents wanted his eyes to be forever unclouded and pure 🤨 That’s cute and all, but it makes me really suspicious that something super bad will happen later and I’m living for that—

This ring was tied to baby Silver when Lilia found him. He planned on gifting it to Silver when he's finally an adult... and now is that time 😭 Ain’t no way they’re giving us these heartfelt moments only to not tear it down later with something devastating… And?? With the ring being so fancy, there’s no way Silver isn’t descended from some rich family (or even royalty/nobility) himself??? Prince Silver real????/j cuz that ring sure does look like Princess Aurora’s crown…

Sebek pulls up with THIS fucking monstrosity?? It’s a weapon (axe???) Lilia used from back in the day (like, in war). However, nowadays he uses it to chop regular shit like wood. The weapon looks very similar to one that Maleficent’s minions use.

It's made out of a special magical ore! It’s called Mystium, and it changes shape according to the wielder’s magic.

Back to Yuu and co. staking out Mickey! Grim is finally realizing that if Yuu goes home, he’ll be alone 😔 Noooo, fur baby… Don’t be sad..

They wait for a while but get sleepy because Mickey is taking forever to appear. When Yuu wakes up, they see Malleus’s green lights and they go outside to find it’s snowing (again, because of his weird mood). He apologizes and makes the snow vanish, then confides in Yuu about his insecurities.

Malleus tells a story about how he froze the castle and some people when he was a little kid (omg Elsa core???) because because his grandma had promised to eat with him and was late or didn’t show up due to her royal duties keeping her busy. It sounds like even the palace servants were afraid of his power because of incidents like this. Like. It’s kind of implied Malleus almost killed them (Lilia says Malleus almost “lost” those people) with his magic.

Lilia was the only one who came for Malleus to check on him when he was upset, dried his tears, and tried to understand him. He comes over and frees the people that Malleus froze, then everyone starts preparing and eating shaved ice made from the ice encasing the castle (not randomly, I think it was Lilia’s suggestion).

Malleus gets jealous because he saw everyone enjoying food without him and/or he thought Lilia was angry at him. (This is the point when Lilia tells him he has great power so he has to be careful how he uses it, ie the “you almost lost the people that you’re now happily eating with at the hands of your own magic” talk.)

Lilia uses his weapon to make some shaved ice for Malleus and invited him to join in (I think this may be the same weapon Sebek finds in his room in the present???); this helped Malleus “connect” with other people, or at least invited him to join and do the same thing the others were) It’s because of Lilia that Malleus is okay with eating cold things. UM???? HELLO???? Is that why Malleus’s favorite food is ice-cream??? Or at least a part of it?

BTW LONG HAir PONYtAIL LILiA CANON yes I’m way more excited about this than I was about that entire ice story

Yuu calls Malleus lonely 💀 and Malleus is shocked because he’s so used to being alone that the thought never occurred to him…

Oh no, Malleus learned that Yuu has “found a way home” (ie Rickey Rat hunting) 🙃 he’s like. “You are leaving me as well?” AND RIGHT AFTER HE JUST LEARNED ABOUT LILIA GOING… Lilia, who has been with Malleus ever since he hatched from his egg…

Friends, family… everything and everyone he cherishes is leaving Malleus. “Even if I have great power, I have nothing. I gain nothing, I always lose. No one will invite me, not anymore.” No Lilia, No Yuu 😞 Malleus, your abandonment issues are showing—

NAUUUR not more ominous shit 😭 Not the “man, I sure do wish everyone wouldn’t go :(((( if only there was a way for me to have everything I want…” coming from the mouth of a super insanely powerful magician…

NOOOOO not Yuu unintentionally enabling Malleus… He asks if there was a way to be with your loved ones forever, would Yuu take it?????? YUU DOnT SAy YES YOU FUQQinG IDIOT… ENABLER Yuu didn’t learn from Trey/j

MaLLEUS MY duDE 😔 DOn’T PULL ANY STUPID ShIT PLEASE (ie we all know he probably will)

Aaaand that’s all for now, folks!! Lots of sketchy lines and lore centering around grandpappy Lilia 🤡

Overall, I like the direction episode 7 is going so far! I was really worried that it would focus too much on Yuu and Malleus’s relationship rather than elaborating on Malleus’s relationships with the rest of Diasomnia, but I’m glad that the main story actually touches upon how integral Lilia is to his found family—and to Malleus, of course. A lot of interesting plot points have been set up (especially surrounding Mickey and Lilia), and I’m really looking forward to seeing how those conclude 👀 I feel like we also got spoiled with character lore; I love that time is a Real Thing in TWST and the the boys are aging and thinking hard about their futures. Can’t wait for the angst to hit me full force like a truck 💕

[velvetbyrne]

「The Flowers of Karma」 - Miyazawa Kenji & Nakahara Chūya

Introduction

Clipart from Irasutoya

When talking about writers, it is also important to talk about their idols and inspirations as it is reflective of the types of works that they want to write. Sometimes the inspiration and their works are quite obvious such as the case with Akutagawa Ryūnosuke and Dazai Osamu, both were known for their short stories and novels, giants of Japanese literature in their own right. But, there are relationships which are rarely discussed due to how far detached they are in terms of the works which they have written.

Today, I will be discussing one of those relationships that may seem farfetched at first glance. Mainly anecdotes where Nakahara had quoted Miyazawa.

There is a world in human nature that is almost totally beyond the scope of this concept, and it can be said that Miyazawa Kenji's life was an unceasing love affair with that world. - Nakahara Chūya, The World of Miyazawa Kenji (1939) [Published posthumously]

The lives of both Nakahara and Miyazawa could not be more different. Kenji lived a life of simplicity, rejecting his family's fortune while studying agriculture. Nakahara on the other hand lived like his Symbolist inspirations, drowning himself with booze and living a decadent lifestyle. The poems of Miyazawa Kenji often exemplifies his exorbitant positivity in the face of arduous challenges such as in "Undefeated by the Rain" while Nakahara's poems once more, follows suit with this symbolist peers discussing the darker themes in life such as his poem "Lament of the Lamb".

But, such contradictions puts beauty into their literary connection. They also had their similarities as well with both being poets and living in the same era.

Works regarding Miyazawa Kenji

Nakahara has written two short pieces of texts regarding Miyazawa. One regarding the release of the Complete Works of Miyazawa Kenji and another on the "World of Miyazawa Kenji". However, for the sake of brevity I will mainly be discussing the first work as it shows Nakahara's love for Miyazawa's works the most.

In the first one, Nakahara writes about his love for the works of Miyazawa, stating that he bought the book "Spring and Shura" (春と修羅, Haru to shura) back in 1924 and quickly fell in love with the works. He then wonders why Miyazawa wasn't recognized before his death despite his skills in poetry.

Was it because of insufficient advertising that he was recognized so late? Was it because he did not live in Tokyo? Was it because he had a profession other than being a poet, namely teaching? Was it because he did not have the so-called "literary wanderings"? Or was it a combination of other circumstances? Perhaps it was one of them, perhaps it was a combination of them. - Nakahara Chūya, The Complete Works of Miyazawa Kenji (1934)

Nakahara then continues on talking about the possibilities of why he wasn't recognized much faster despite his works being easy to understand and that Miyazawa's works should be recognized by the wider public. He also comments that Miyazawa imbued his poems with the spirit of old folk songs that "can be felt by anyone who has picked up a poetry book." 

His rantings continued on calling the public naive as to not understand Miyazawa's 'clarity of character' and that people did not understand the value of Miyazawa's works. To him, maybe that was the reason why Miyazawa's works were not recognized faster. Nakahara then mentions that he has recommended Spring and Chaos to many people but then laments that since he was a nobody, nobody was willing to pick up the book; wondering if he wasn't persuasive enough in recommending the book.

An Anecdote from Dan Kazuo

In the book "Dazai Osamu: The Novel" (小説：太宰治) written by Dan Kazuo, there were stories included which described Dazai's meeting with Nakahara Chūya for the Blue Flower Magazine. 

This particular meeting was the second time they met and the meeting included three people which are Dazai Osamu, Dan Kazuo and Nakahara Chūya (Kusano Shinpei was not here for the meeting). Dan described the meeting and per usual for the two, Dazai and Nakahara fought verbally. Nakahara became deeply agitated and left the room, perhaps because his friend Kusano was not with them and exclaimed that he'd like to go to meet Dazai despite Dan telling him to stop.

Nakahara got tired of fighting and lied in the snow, as he lied there he starts quoting Miyazawa Kenji's poem The Flowers of Karma (業の花びら) from Spring and Shura. He then continued to toil around quoting the poem until he decided to go annoy Dazai again. Nakahara went to his room and pounded on his door which woke up the house owner telling him that, "Mr. Tsushima is asleep". This did not stop him however, he quietly snuck into the room and continued to threaten Dazai in his sleep.

After seeing this Dan caught his arm as Nakahara started to spiral down into a frenzy. Nakahara tried to shake him off but Dan took him out of the room and into the yard where Nakahara tried to swing at him. Dan however, realized what was going on and quickly threw him to the snow, after this Nakahara decided to leave for Ginza.

Conclusion

We can see that through his writings and his actions, Nakahara found a profound love in Miyazawa's poetry. That the simplicity of Miyazawa's poems hides the deep meaning behind his works and he wishes that Miyazawa's works could be recognized before his death. His constant recommendation of Miyazawa's works was also a testament to how much he loved the man's works, while not as big as an influence to his works such as Arthur Rimbaud or Charles Baudelaire, it can be seen that that Miyazawa Kenji has played part in influencing the great poet himself.

Sources used

宮沢賢治全集. Aozora Bunko 宮沢賢治の世界. Aozora Bunko 中原中也と、太宰治と、宮沢賢治と。. 風薫る道

[fatliberation]

Here Are Some Fat Positive Activists, Educators, Therapists, and Artists to Know!

First and foremost, the pioneer of organized fat activism:

• Bill Fabrey (he/him)

Bill Fabrey, a self-proclaimed fat admirer, founded NAAFA (the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance) in 1969 after gaining an understanding of the day-to-day oppression and discrimination faced by his wife, Joyce. Fabrey founded the organization in hopes to raise awareness of weight stigma, criticize biased studies, and increase overall acceptance and accessibility to fat Americans. He is considered one of the pioneers of the fat liberation movement, and is heavily involved to this day.

• Judy Freespirit, Sara Fishman, Lynn McAfee, Ariana Manow, & Gudrun Fonfa (she/her for each)

(Members of The Fat Underground, 1979)

Fat, radical, feminist members of NAAFA! Their agenda was much more aggressive than NAAFA’s, and eventually they broke off and formed their own group called The Fat Underground, which acted as a catalyst in the creation and mobilization of the fat liberation movement. Based in LA in the 1970s, the Fat Underground did not fight to change discriminatory laws but rather discriminatory thoughts and practices in different aspects of society, which included those of doctors and other health professionals who perpetuated the unhealthy habits encouraged by diet culture. In 1973, Judy Freespirit and Alderbaran published the “Fat Liberation Manifesto” which establishes that fat people are entitled to what they were denied on a daily basis: “human respect and recognition.” The other objectives then outline the commercial exploitation of fat bodies by both corporations and scientific institutions. (x) I will go into more detail about the Fat Underground in my next post, “The History of Fat Activism!”

• Dr. Lindo Bacon (they/them), PhD

(no photo)

Creator of the concept of HAES (Health At Every Size).

Dr. Bacon is best known for their paradigm-shifting research and advocacy upending the weight discourse. They have mined their deep academic proficiency, wide-ranging clinical expertise and own personal experience to write two best-selling books, Health at Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight, and the co-authored Body Respect: What Conventional Health Books Get Wrong, Leave Out, or Just Plain Fail to Understand about Weight. Both are credited with transforming the weight discourse and inspiring a hopeful new course for the fat liberation movement. Dr. Bacon holds their PhD in physiology, as well as graduate degrees in psychology and exercise metabolism. Dr. Bacon formerly taught at City College of San Francisco, in the Health Education, Psychology, Women’s Studies, and Biology Departments. A professor and researcher, for almost two decades Dr. Bacon has taught courses in social justice, health, weight and nutrition; they have also conducted federally funded studies on health and weight and published in top scientific journals. Their research has been supported by grants from the United States Department of Agriculture and the National Institutes of Health. A truly great pioneer in medical health research! 

https://lindobacon.com/ | HAES | IG

• Aubrey Gordon, a.k.a. Your Fat Friend (she/her)

(no photo)

Aubrey Gordon writes about the social realities of life as a very fat person, previously publishing anonymously as Your Fat Friend. She is the author of What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Lit Hub, Vox, Gay Mag, and has been covered in outlets around the world. She also hosts the podcast Maintenance Phase, in which she and cohost Michael Hobbes debunk and decode wellness and weight loss trends. Her articles are incredibly heartfelt and enlightening. You can read all of them at www.yourfatfriend.com !!

@ yrfatfriend on IG & Twitter

• Sabrina Strings (she/her), PhD

Sabrina Strings is an associate professor of sociology at the University of California, Irvine and the author of Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia, which exposes fatphobia’s roots in anti-blackness. Strings contributed an opinion story to The New York Times titled “It’s Not Obesity. It’s Slavery.” With Lindo Bacon (creator of HAES), she coauthored “The Racist Roots of Fighting Obesity,” published in Scientific American. Strings has a BA in psychology and an MA and PHd in sociology. This book is #1 on my to-read list!!

https://www.sabrinastrings.com

• Hannah Fuhlendorf (she/her), MA LPCC NCC

Hannah is a highly educated and experienced counselor whose work focuses on self acceptance, eliminating the effects of internalized oppression, and practicing through a HAES lens. She is a fat liberationist who puts out educational videos daily. Hannah is also married to a healthcare professional, and the two of them are working toward making the medical field more accessible to fat people in their local community, and offering education on how to be fat allies. I really admire Hannah and the work that she does!

@ hannahtalksbodies on IG and TikTok

• Tracy Cox (she/her)

Tracy is an award-winning performer and artist, who co-created the web series “Angry Fat People” with Matthew Anchel, which takes a pop culture approach on serious issues faced by fat performers. She has been interviewed by the New York Times on fat politics and accessibility, and currently has a huge following on IG where she unpacks fat performance, fashion, and politics. You may know her as the creator of the ‘fat vanity’ trend on TikTok!

@ sparklejams on IG & TikTok

• Da’Shaun L. Harrison (they/them) 

Da’Shaun is a non-binary abolitionist, community organizer, and writer. They are currently a managing editor and columnist at Wear Your Voice Magazine. They travel throughout the United States and abroad to speak at conferences, colleges, and lead workshops focused on Blackness, queerness, gender, class, religion, (dis)abilities, fatness, and the intersection at which they all meet. Da’Shaun is the author of the book Belly of the Beast: The Politics of Anti-Fatness as Anti-Blackness, which is expected to be published in July 2021. They have an incredibly enlightening social media presence as well!!

@ dashaunlh on IG and Twitter

• Lauren Buchness (she/her)

Lauren Buchness is one of my favorite artists. She’s a contemporary artist and fat activist based in Tucson, Arizona. By combining painting & performance, she aims to question Western standards of beauty and create conversations that alter preconceived notions about the fat body. Go check out her gorgeous work!!

@ ladybuchness on IG and TikTok

If you’re interested in learning about diet culture and intuitive eating, check out

Shana Minei Spence (she/her), MS RDN CDN

Shana is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist who opposes food restriction and encourages intuitive eating! She spreads food positive daily messages on her platform. She used to work in fashion, but she left after being dissatisfied with the industry and went back to school to become involved in food policy and public health. She offers counseling on a HAES approach. I have much respect for Shana!

@ thenutritiontea on IG

And right here on tumblr (who was my personal introduction to fat lib) -

@ bigfatscience !!!

An anonymous fat liberationist. They share so many great resources, diving head-first into the scientific research of weight and health, they’ve found that the relation between the two is extremely complex. They tackle the biases of  research in a system that profits off of fatphobia, and they offer a fat positive perspective based on scientific studies. Their blog serves as an easily accessible resource for fat folx and fat activists who want to learn about fat positive science to support their own personal interests/activism. Thank you for your work, bigfatscience!! (if you have questions for them, you will have a greater chance of getting a response with anon off!) 

• Sonalee Rashatwar (she/they), LCSW MEd

Sonalee is an award-winning clinical social worker, sex therapist, and grassroots organizer. They’re a superfat queer bisexual non-binary therapist and co-owner of Radical Therapy Center. Sonalee is specialized in treating sexual trauma, internalized fatphobia, immigrant kid guilt, and South Asian family systems, while offering fat positive sexual healthcare. Go, Sonalee!!

@ thefatsextherapist on IG

• Fat Rose (org)

Fat Rose organizes fat people, building a more radical fat liberation movement in strong relationship with other social movements, such as anti-fascism, anti-ableism, and anti-racism. Check them out on Facebook!

fatrose.org

Honorable IG mentions: (Some anti diet culture specific blogs in here, as well)

@fatangryblackgirl  @msgigggles @thefatphobiaslayer @bodyimagewithbri @saucyewest @fatpositivetherapy @fatlippodcast @chairbreaker 

BOOKS

And here’s an amazing list of fat-positive book recommendations from HannahTalksBodies!

Science & Health:

Health at Every Size by Lindo Bacon PhD

Body Respect by Lindo Bacon PhD and Lucy Aphramor PhD, RD

Secrets from the Eating Lab by Traci Mann PhD

Anti-Diet by Christy Harrison MPH, RD

Fat Liberation:

Fearing the Black Body by Sabrina Strings PhD

Fat Activism by Dr. Charlotte Cooper

Fat Politics by J. Eric Oliver

The Fat Studies Reader by Esther Rothblum (Editor) and Sondra Solovay (Editor)

Fat Shame by Amy Erdman Farrell

Self Acceptance:

The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor

Things No One will Tell Fat Girls by Jes Baker

Eating in the Light of the Moon by Anita Johnson PhD

Happy Fat by Sofie Hagan

You have the Right to Remain Fat by Virgie Tovar

Thanks for reading! Please feel free to share this list of resources!

Image descriptions below.

1. [ID: A black and white photo of Bill Fabrey, a straight-sized, balding white man with thick black glasses wearing a suit and tie, standing at a poduim in front of a sign that reads, “NAAFA”. Beside the image is another photo of Fabrey, from his left side.]

2. [ID: A black and white photo of seven fat, female and gender non-conforming members of The Fat Underground, performing a recital.]

3. [ID: The cover of Sabrina Strings’ book, Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia. On the cover is an illustration of four upper-class white people in fancy colonial period clothing showing shock and disgust at a Black woman’s exposed body. Beside the book cover is a photo of Sabrina Strings, a straight-sized Black woman with dark brown curly hair wearing a blouse.]

4. [ID: Hannah Fulhendorf, a fat, white woman with straight hair dyed blue, wearing a black tank top and holding her shoulder while smiling brightly and looking into the camera.]

5. [ID: An artistic picture of Tracy Cox, a fat, white woman with long, straight brown hair, laying topless on a bed of flowers. There are flower petals placed strategically in her hair on her skin, and along her lower eyelid. Beside that image, is an image of the album cover for Angry Fat People, picturing two angry faces made out of white paper against a grey background. In the top left corner, black, bolded text that reads “AFP” and “FAT LIBERATION”.]

6. [ID: Da’Shaun L. Harrison, a fat, non-binary Black person with a beard, glasses, and long dreadlocks, wearing a shirt that reads, “TO BE VISIBLY QUEER IS TO CHOOSE YOUR HAPPINESS OVER YOUR SAFETY. -DA’SHAUN HARRISON” against a natural backdrop of autumn leaves.]

7. [ID: A watercolor painting by Lauren Buchness of a white and tattooed fat body, hands caressing abstract rolls of fat with wild blueberries and grapefruit between folds. Beside it is another Buchness watercolor painting of Black hands with long sharp nails, caressing the midsection of a fat Black body, with purple crystals growing out of the skin.]

8. [ID: Shana Minei Spence, a straight-sized, Black woman smiling with bright pink lipstick and her long wavy hair pulled back, wearing a floral pattern shirt and jean shorts. She is holding small marquee that reads, “BE CAREFUL OF WELLNESS COMPANIES THAT SAY THEY’RE PROMOTING HEALTH YET ARE STILL ONLY TRYING TO GET YOUR BODY SMALLER” and a heart symbol.]

9. [ID: Sonalee Rashatwar, a superfat, South Asian non-binary person with short black hair, wearing a long floral dress, standing in front of large glowing text that reads, “BIG GIRL ENERGY” against a coarse-textured wall.]

10. [ID: A circular logo with a red fist in the center, with text surrounding it that reads, “FATTIES AGAINST FASCISM” with roses separating the word “RESIST”. Beside it is another image, of eleven fat and superfat activists, standing and sitting on mobility scooters, holding fists and middle fingers in the air, wearing T-shirts and holding banners that both read, “FATTIES AGAINST FASCISM”. In front of the group is a large cardboard sign that spells the acronym “F.A.B.” which stands for “Fat Antifascist Brigade”.]

[coffeeandteatomatch]

Hi hello! Just like I said, here's the essay! I honestly really enjoyed writing this. Feel free to point out grammar mistakes and add ideas! I'm sure there's many more differences then I listed.

Mori Kei & Cottagecore: The Differences

Tw - mention/talk of cultural appropriation

Mori kei and cottagecore are both very similar styles, both having focuses on cottage life, forests, animals, simplistic living, sustainability, nature, and rejection of modern lifestyle. However, there are also many differences between the two.

Mori kei was first coined as a term in 2006 on Mixi, a Japanese social media. By 2009 the community had grown to about 35,000 people and was growing rapidly in popularity, along with the creation of several magazines and brands. However, it was starting to decline by 2010.

Mori kei fashion has changed over the years, but generally consists of clothing that is natural, girly, layered, earthy colored, modest and loose-fitting. Other staples are lace, knitted clothing, lace-up leather boots, baskets, shawls, and long skirts.

Cottagecore was created on Tumblr in the 2010s (the exact year is unclear), and grew slowly until 2020; when it boomed in popularity largely due to the pandemic. It is an aesthetic based heavily on the romantization of western agriculture and has many values associated with it, including anti-capitalism, agrarianism, queer idealogy, anti-fast fashion and feminism. While it is a mixture of many previous nature-based aesthetics, it takes most of its inspiration from english countryside life and the romantic and victorian era.

Cottagecore fashion has two main archatypes: a hyper-feminine, modern version of historical fashion or a cozy, more androgynous look. Its staples usually include puffy sleeves, gingham, handmade clothing/accessories, overalls, corsets, cardigans, and button blouses.

So, with all that in mind, what are the differences between the two? Well, first off is the cultural inspirations. Cottagecore takes inspiration from specifically western culture; mori kei is mainly inspired by fantasy/woodland life. This is likely because mori kei was popular in many different countries, whereas cottagecore is mainly based in America and England.

Secondly, the core focus. Mori kei is focused around forests, and woodland life. It's style is supposed to be functional, and to look like you live in the woods. Cottagecore is very farm-based, and the clothing is much more for visual appearance than functionality.

I have to say, my original post was slightly misleading in retrospect. The argument I had heard was that western people had taken mori Kei and appropriated it, stealing the idea from japan. This is certainly not true, although cottagecore was probably inspired by mori kei at some level. As I've said, they're very different styles. However, an argument could be made that cottagecore is the western equivalent to mori kei. I would say the closest aesthetic to mori Kei would be either goblincore, dark cottagecore or fairy grunge. Goblincore shares the focus of forests and more functional style, and fairy grunge has both a very similar color palette and style staples (for example, lace and layers). Of course, that is just my opinion.

Hopefully this was a helpful essay! I'm still very much a student so my essay won't be perfect, and I probably missed some grammar mistakes while proof-reading. Even so, I hope this was informative and interesting! Thank you for reading.

[thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness]

Toshiya’s Creativity Vol 7: Looking back at Life This time, as Toshiya’s birthday is getting closer, we asked him to look back on his life. From his childhood to boyhood in Nagano and moving to Tokyo after his awakening to music. And the present. Memories, present and future…. Blessed with good weather, we did this interview in a localisation where you could feel the arrival of spring.  “For me, music is the most stimulating thing. It was a way to escape from reality” “I think it’s a miracle I met these 4 people.” “When you are standing on stage in front of the audience, you should be a special person that nobody can’t replace”

Notes before reading: This is from ‘Toshiya’s creativity’, the serialization done by Ster Edge Magazine and later compiled into a book with the same name. This is Vol 07 (Ster Edge 006) , which was published in March 2018.  Originally, I planned to post this for Toshiya’s birthday but....life.  Feel free to correct me if you spot any mistake or any confusing parts. Links or credits to this post when the content is reposted or captured in other SNS is appreciated :)

------ 2017 marked the 20th anniversary of the formation of DIR EN GREY. Toshiya also had the opportunity to look back on the history of the band at various locations. This time, we asked him to look back on his ‘life’ just before his birthday on March 31st. How did he feel at that time? What did he realize at that moment and what does he think now? It was an interview that gave us a glimpse of his enigmatic way of thinking and a part his feelings. Toshiya is from Nagano prefecture. He says the environment in which he grew up was "a normal countryside one” in “a normal family”. In our previous talk with Hide TANAKA, a flower designer who is a childhood friend of Toshiya, which was published in "Toshiya's Creativity Vol6", he talked about his childhood, but  we will explore this further,  in a bit more personal way. When he was asked about his oldest memory, he folded his arms, thought for a moment, and then opened his mouth. “This memory comes quickly to my mind. There was something like an agricultural cooperative bazaar/rummage sale being held near my grandparent's house, and I think they took me to it. I was very impressed by a child of the same age as me at that time who was lost and crying alone. So, I remember holding my grandpa and grandma's hands tightly and saying, ‘Don’t lose me!’ (laughs).” His grandparents' home and his home were close, so he often went out with his grandparents from an early age. “I was close to my grandfather and my grandmother. I remember I was the type of child loved by the elderly. I’m still quite in contact with my family and relatives, we have a good relationship. But it wasn't something special, it was normal for me at the time. My hometown is a normal countryside town, where  nothing is  like this city, it feels like there are only mountains and rice fields. I also liked drawing at home and playing outside. I was playing like a normal country child would do.” Young Toshiya seems to have grown up in the nature of Nagano. It seems his parents also respected the things he wanted to do. “I was in a sports boys' team, a baseball team, and I practised kendo. I feel like I certainly did what I wanted. I liked physical activities. I wasn’t strong or weak at sports, after all I was normal (laughs). My parents taught me soroban (Japanese abacus), and in junior high school I attended a cram school. I think I got a textbook to study English through radio lessons. I just pretended to play the abacus, and I wasn't good at it at all (laughs). " Toshiya was a boy who was devoted to sports. He talked to Hide about playing the guitar when he was young, but was he interested in music and instruments at that time? “No, no at all. My mother's brother used to play the guitar and I was just using that guitar as a toy instead. More than playing, I was killing time. It felt like that. At that time, I had no dreams for the future. When I was told to write about my dream for the future, I just wrote ‘be a salary man, like my father’. I think that was the safest choice (laughs). The children of my class said ‘I want to be a police officer’ or ‘I want to be a pilot’, but I wasn't interested in what I wanted to do in the future at all.” He said ‘normal’ many times while talking about himself in the past but while listening to his talk, he didn't feel like that for some reason, he had a mysterious aura since he was a boy. He said the thing that young Toshiya was more interested in was ‘wild ideas/fantasies’. “I think it was like that in the past. Didn’t you have any ‘wild idea’ /fantasy on your way to school or coming back from it? I liked that kind of thing. As I liked Gundam, I thought ‘I want to ride one’. Sometimes I went home with my friends, but more often I went home alone. It was about a 30-minute walk from my house to school, so it was days of spending all that time doing that (laughs).” Perhaps he was a boy who had his own world and the strength to be alone. “No, no, I didn't think deeply about that. I never felt scared to be alone…. the reason I went home alone was it was easier for me to go home alone (laughs). I'm older than my siblings, so I grow up as an only child for a while. That’s why it was normal for me to be alone. Most of the boys and girls I played with were older kids who lived near my house” Toshiya, an elementary school boy who often played with older boys and girls who lived in the neighbourhood, gradually got more chances to listen to popular songs at his senpais' homes. Boøwy was the catalyst for him to have an instrument. “Boøwy was a cool band that older seniors listened to. When I got into middle school, there were about one or two people in the class who liked Western music. When I became friends with those guys, I was told ‘You are still listening to Japanese music?’ (laughs). From that moment, I started to dig deeper into Western music.” Then, that Toshiya in middle school becomes more and more absorbed in music. It was around this time that he started to have in his mind that he wanted to play an instrument. “Besides Boøwy and X…..From overseas… I listened to Van Halen. Then, bands like Europe, Guns N'Roses,Bon jovi….. as it was the golden age of LA metal (glam metal), I liked that kind of stuff. I listened to the X’s single ‘Kurenai’ at home. That song starts with a ballad-like part, and then it gets fierce at once, but when I was playing it at first, I could hardly hear any sound. I still remember that suddenly it made a loud noise when I turned up the volume, I was surprised and desperately turned down the volume (laughs). " As Toshiya told us this funny incident, for sure there are many people who had a similar experience. What elements of these bands inspired Toshiya in middle school? "The music was exciting, but the fashion and performance were shocking ... Every band was very unrealistic. It seems that I was taken to a different world at that time. The feelings were very strong.  Since TV was the only way to collect information, I think the influence from TV on me was huge.” He has been absorbed in band activities since high school. The first thing he got in his hands was a guitar, not a bass. He doesn't have get the chance to play the guitar on stage right now, but he uses the guitar to make songs. "After all, I started playing the guitar because I admired some guitarists, but I thought 'It's difficult to play with 6 strings. It's a little easier with 4 strings.' After all, I thought it would be easier if there aren’t many chords to hold down. Also, I thought the bass was in a position that didn’t stand out much compared to other instruments, so I thought it would be interesting because that means there were many interesting possibilities about playing” Toshiya, who liked drawing since childhood, went to an art school while being in a band, after graduating from high school. Although he is good at drawing, he eventually chose the musical path. “I didn't want to get a job after graduating from high school, but I didn’t want to study something either. However, I liked drawing, so I asked my parents to attend an art school. At school, the places where the people who graduated there got a job are displayed at the corridor, isn’t it? I was looking at that and I thought ‘Ah? I don't think many people can get a job in the world of drawing’. I don’t think there are many jobs available when it comes to drawing. I thought ‘I like drawing but as this is more a hobby than a job, there is no point in spending money to study it. I’m going to spend my time doing what I like’. After all, I left the art school in about a year. After all, you only live once, and I may regret not doing what I want to do…..That's why I decided to go on the path of music for real. Music is the most stimulating thing for me. Making music was fun and I think it was a bit an escape from reality. I could be a different person than the one I was in my daily life….I wonder if these ‘extraordinary things’ became an stimulus for me.” Immediately after that, Toshiya goes to Tokyo to be fully into band activities as a band man. An era in which the Internet is hardly widespread it was important to move to make his own path. He took action and met various people. “When I went to Tokyo, I met and talked with several people. I was told often that ‘those who move out their hometowns had already won’. I thought there was no chance  if I stayed in the countryside and I started doing band activities quietly. There may be various risks and scary feelings, but if you really want a chance, you have to go to the place where there is information. Of course, I think that taking no action is also one of the options. There may be a way to improve your skills locally, or you can go out to the city to seize opportunities, and I think it's up to you to decide which one to choose. I met the members (of DIR EN GREY) in Tokyo, so I think I wouldn't have been in this band if I hadn't come to Tokyo. " "I think it was a miracle that I could meet the other 4 members” Toshiya, who met Kyo,Kaoru, Die, and Shinya, moved to Kansai and started band activities there . In 1997, DIR EN GREY was formed. They made their national debut in 1998, and made his major debut in 1999 with the release of the singles "Akuro no Oka", "ZAN-" and "Yurameki".  He thought ‘Because I only have one life, I may regret not doing what I want to do’, and took action. About three years later, Toshiya's life changed. "I think most people in the music world are like that…..At that time, I didn't know what I was doing, but I was confident. I think it's a little scary when I think about my confident at that time. I had such a simple idea that in a way or another, we were going to make it. That's why I didn't think anything strange, the biggest thing was that I didn't have any strange fear. As I grew up, I started to think about things I hadn't thought of before. I was getting more and more involved with people, but I didn’t have that kind of thing when I was young. I think that was the biggest driving force. When I look back on it now, I feel envious of that feeling that nothing was going to stop me.” It was a brilliant  and sensational success. It was probably the tremendous power of these five people that attracted that success, which the appropriate world to describe it would be “comet”. A comet that seen from a distance was very beautiful but, how did DIR EN GREY feel about it, being the comet themselves? “We didn’t fully understand the situation we were in. There was a strong feeling we were getting into a world we didn’t know. We were an active part of that, but it felt like we were outsiders. At that time, music had a stimulating sense of unreality but also the fear that it became real started to spring up. At that time, it felt like that many times. DIR EN GREY was called the “last boom” of the scene we were in and I think we were lucky. There was also a part of us that tried to not be absorbed by that boom” DIR EN GREY’s activities have been very creative since then. From this formation until their debut, the band didn’t lose their spirits and kept their aggressive stance. Continuing to present things with a strong emphasis in musicality and fashion making a distinction in the middle of that ‘boom’, they built a unshakeable fortress called DIR EN GREY. “At that time, various media such as TV and magazines talked to us, but we tried not to go in that direction. I was influenced by TV in terms of knowing music, but when it comes to my own work, I didn’t think about becoming the kind of musician that appears on TV. Of course, I thought it would be the best if we got TV exposure but…..at some point, there were things that cold me off. ‘This boom won’t last forever’, it’s easy to get on that boom, but once the boom is over, it’s gone. At that time, I might not have thought so much about it, but I instinctively felt that it was dangerous to get into that boom” It’s not just Toshiya, all DIR EN GREY members agreed. “Sometimes thanks to the boom and the media, they (the listeners) get to know about you. I think it’s the best way to get people know about you but, I also think it’s really dangerous. I think there were some people who succumbed to that kind of excitement. We were cautious because we were the only ones who could protect ourselves, no one else would protect us.” Because DIR EN GREY decided that it was dangerous to get drawn by that boom, they were able to pursue the music and expressions they wanted to do in a deeper way. A different strength from that boom. “That’s right…. We didn’t really understand what happened, we couldn’t say ‘ we did this so this happened after’, there were moments we relied on ourselves, but there were also moments that we relied on others. I guess that balance was good. However, we tried to not get into that wave of popularity as much as possible” DIR EN GREY continued to run ahead of the boom without appearing in the mainstream media, toured Asia in 2002, achieving the first overseas expansion. Due to changes in music aspects, the attention they got from overseas increased and in 2005, they performed in Berlin, marking their first solo concert in Europe. From there, they started to held live performances around the world. Their music spread to the world in proportion to the rise of the Internet. Their journey was so innovative in the music scene that many artists used them as their role model. Should it be called ‘a miracle’ caused by  a natural sense of balance? “I think this (the overseas expansion) was something rare for us. ‘Something like this is what we want’, ‘It would be good if you could show this or that’……we were told these kind of things so maybe it (a miracle) happened. First of all, I think it’s a miracle I met these 4 people.” Toshiya said this a little shy smile.  There aren't many bands that have been so active for 20 years without changing members or stopping their activities. It's a miracle. “Because it’s an aspect that you can’t control…the things you do and the people you meet. I think it’s a miracle in that sense as well.” After 20 years, there were changes as an individual person, and there were changes in the way they interact with music. He says it's not just about music, ‘No matter what you do, if you make a mistake, you're done’, he adds. “Everyone calls me an 'artist', but I don't feel like one. The easiest thing to say would be ‘free person’ (laughs).  As I don’t have the experience of a normal working life, waking up at the same time on weekdays mornings, getting on the same train every day, rather than an artist, I would say I’m a free person. However, if there is a misunderstanding, I come to think of myself as ‘someone special’ who can’t live a normal life. It’s dangerous and scary. But humans are creatures that make mistakes (laughs).” Is it his way of saying that there was a “misunderstanding” in the past? “Well, there is. I made mistakes. That's why I'm scared. At the time of the debut, the number of adults  I didn’t know increased around me. No matter what you do, many people was moving. That became something common. But that many people come, means that many people also leave…. Shortly after my debut, a friend from Nagano told me two things. One was ‘it’s good you can do what you like’, and the other was ‘Did you start a band to be admired/ to be pampered?’ Those words were quite a big deal for me. I thought I couldn't stay that way, so I had to change my way of thinking a little more. The words this person told me made me feel sad but then I said ‘Isn’t it good? Why you don’t try to do your best too?’ (laughs).” Toshiya laughs and says ‘I want to be a person with an ordinary consciousness’. His way of talking and manners are soft, giving an impression that he is a person who has nothing to do with the word ‘rude’. “In my teens,  my senpais were unconventional and  I admired a lot their messy behaviour but unfortunately,  times are very different now. When we were children, we thought about what to buy and how to use the money we received for New Year's  but nowadays  children seem to save money. It might be good to do something unconventional and have a dream in such a conservative era, but I'm not that age anymore. Now, if I do something like that, I’d be in a difficult position (laughs). That’s why being a person with an ordinary consciousness would be the ideal”. “When you stand on stage in front of  the audience, you should be a special person that nobody can’t replace” When you ask him about music activity, the talk extends to other topics that are not limited to music. The concept of the brand 'DIRT 100% Natural Dirty' produced by him is 'unisex real clothes that can be worn in a wide range of occasions from casual to formal’, the design  not only affects the clothes but also the spaces that surround your daily life. Toshiya proposes and produce unique and original clothes for daily life.  The fact that the words ‘life’ and ‘everyday’ are included means that for Toshiya, as music, his brand production and life are something that flows together, not something that can be separate from each other. “There isn’t really a distinction. But both, music and brand production, I can’t call them ‘work’. Of course I can’t remove the business part of it but I don’t think it’s work. This interview is also part of my job, that’s why I’m definitely switched on my ‘business mode’. If you like something in a pure way, you shouldn’t make a business of it. Of course, I make music and produce clothes because I like it, but the truth is that you can’t just do something because you like it. That’s why I think I have to do it. For example,  of course I would say ‘I want to do this’ to the company but  saying NO to everything that the company suggests, like ‘I want you to do this, I think it’s just selfish. If I’m allowed to do what I want to do, then I have to do also what the company wants me to do, otherwise, it won’t work. If you just want to do whatever you want,  it would be like ‘why don't you do it by yourself? I think I'm doing it with several people because I can't do it alone.” It might be because of this that the band DIR EN GREY continue to be active with the same members. It’s  only because they have their own opinions but also they have the capacity to listen and absorb other people’s opinions. “I have a firm ideal within myself. However, there are times  you will realize things listening to other people’s opinions and absorbing them. When you have a talk with several people that are experts in something, new opinions that I didn’t know before are born. I often think that it’s like the scales fall from my eyes, and it leads to new discoveries. There might be a reason why we don’t aim to “do things by ourselves’. It's not that music and brands can't be done alone…. I feel that if I go alone, I might make a mistake. Going back to I said before, if you think of yourself as 'special', I think it's not going to go in the right direction….But it's an exception when you stand on stage in front of the audience. , you should be a special person that nobody can’t replace” No matter how good a person is, they may stop at some point. Toshiya was no exception. However, he says with confident ‘I still have many things that I want to do’. “I've often thought ‘this is my limit’. I have thought many times ‘I don't have any ideas, I don't like it, it's hard’..... But then, I’ve always come up with ideas and images such as "I want to do something like that" or "Let's do something like this". I've been doing something like that all the time….I think my desire for expression will never run out. I don't think things can be made from scratch. Everything is imitation of something,  an arrangement of something….I think that’s the trigger for the ramification of creation.  In your daily life, you can see various things and various things will happen, so I hope to reflect in my work what is happening at that moment.” Will Toshiya reach a turning point in his life soon? In the last talk, he wondered if he would become an adult when he is 50 or 60 years old. He also said he wanted to be 50 or 60 years old soon. He set his mind on the idea of ‘You only have one life, if you don’t do the things that you want, you’ll regret it’. Until now, he has devoted his life to the band so is he satisfied with that or is there any regrets? “It’s half satisfaction, half regrets (laughs).  I think I have more regrets, though. When I was in elementary school I thought that at my age I would be living in my hometown, I’d be married and would have kids…’I wish I had done that at that time’….’I didn’t do that’….things like that, if I start mentioning them, there would be no end. But you can’t do anything about the things you didn’t do, I think the perception will change if you look at it with regrets or as a reflection. Sayingt that ‘I could become an adult once I’m 50 or 60 years old” means I entrusted to my future self, things I can’t do now. It’s a way of escapism, though(laughs). I feel like the things I can’t do now will be easier in the future and the range of the things I’ll be able to do will be wider. I will pursue forever the person I aspired to become when I was a child. I think it’s a human thing to do that.” Toshiya’s voice “I requested this photoshoot to take place somewhere near the sea. Since my birthday was closer, I did an interview looking back on my life. If anything, it felt like the interview was important. As we went to Odaiba, the travel time was longer. The talk about the Olimpics in the car was exciting.