#I would rebuy it all

[moeblob]

A lil guy !

[raindrvq]

youtube recommended me some random video of some dudes playing skyblock and taking a bong rip every time they complete an objective its like an hour long and i rly enjoy this. i think i should beg my friends to do this

[grungepoetica]

been googling makeup brands again to see if i can find a new green lipstick (the one i use for drag is nearly empty & will need replacing once i have the funds) and WHY DOES EVERY MAKEUP BRAND IN EXISTENCE HAVE SOME KIND OF CONTROVERSY. WHAT ARE Y'ALL DOING OVER THERE

[becauseanders]

so jealous of everyone playing bg3

what i would give to actually have an xbox that could play it :(

[turbonini]

whenever i see someone online be like: just bought 500$s worth of shein clothes 🤩🤩🤩 i'm like genuinely taken aback that society still finds that okay???

[toxiccaves]

I finished up my current commissions, and looking to take some more!

I finally received a job offer, but I won't be starting and getting paid until next month. Until then, I still need to pay $120ish for my car registration, and $115 for car insurance. This does not include the mountain of bills that will be due the first week of January as well...

My mom might be able to spot me for groceries since a job is on the horizon, but I have a bit of a ways to go on bills.. I don't know if she will let me borrow money to return first paycheck either, especially on top of that.

I'd like to try and cover as much as I can until then, so any help is appreciated 😓.. And I will make sure to update when I have info on my job's start and pay date!

Thank you again 💕

Commissions open!

Hiii everyone, I'm looking for at least 2 more commission slots to fill again for $50 illustrations or short animations (emotes, etc)!

I'm hitting the negatives soon and all my job interviews aren't going well 😢.. It'll be my birthday next week (and I get Christmas money at that time too), so I should be able to put all of that towards bills, but I'll need a little more for groceries at the moment.

If anyone just wants to leave a tip on my Ko-Fi as a bday gift, it'd help too! I also still have a few little items in stock in my Ko-Fi store.

Sorry to be finding myself in this situation often, but thank you to everyone who has always helped me out when I'm having a difficult time inbetween jobs 🥺

[richarlotte]

365 Days from Rot to Hot (Pt. 3).

Find your colors. You could use AI, take a trip to Lowe’s (this is one of the things I did), or actually use a service, but sorting out what colors suit you is essential. A major part of building my blend and creating my personal style was based around finding things that suited me, and I do believe that you shouldn’t start buying clothes or putting a look together unless you know your undertone, have a grasp of your colors and your body type, understand your seasons, and are prepared to experiment with what you’ve learned. Finding your colors should be the first step you take, as it will make the process of creating looks easier and give you a general idea of what things will look good on you.

Search for inspiration and don’t hold yourself back. It’s your life; it’s your fashion; it’s your style. You can be as basic or as eccentric as you want. If you think Kendall Jenner and Hailey Bieber are goddesses, then take inspiration from them. If you’re a budding Betsey Johnson or a Lisa Frank and want to design your own clothes and make them even brighter, then do that. If you’re obsessed with Bella Hadid’s western era and want to chase your own wild horses, then go ahead. I’d recommend doing what I did and creating a number of Pinterest boards and using Instagram to create polyvore-like style and vision boards.

Set a reasonable budget and stick with it. You cannot spend more than you have, and it’s not wise to get into debt pursuing a lifestyle that you know you can’t afford in the long run. Create a reasonable budget and work with it; don’t try to work around it. I found myself shopping from Walmart, Meijer, Gap, and J. Crew Factory and looking for sales before I bought anything. Don’t jump into the process and waste your money buying everything straight off the racks; utilize stores like TJ Maxx, look for sales, use what you already have, and really make an effort to make your dollar stretch. Another part of working with your budget is not blowing it by shopping at Shein; if you buy something and then have to throw it out and rebuy it after 5 wears, you’re not actually getting any bang for your buck.

Utilize Pinterest and social media to find women that look like you. An integral part of creating your own blend and finding what works for you is seeing it on other women. I followed a number of women that looked like me and didn’t look like me, lived in areas of the world I found fascinating, and had tastes that I wouldn’t describe as mainstream. I used a number of different languages to search for the trends that I liked; I used Twitter and Instagram to look at hashtags; and I took total advantage of the resources I was able to access. I used magazines, went through online archives, and spent time building my ideal image. Was it perfect? No, but as time passed, it became more and more helpful, and it eventually became the Pinterest board that I use now and my main vision board.

Tie it all together and see how things work. I had to experiment with so many different looks, delete and recreate so many vision boards, and try things for myself. Am I a hairstylist? No, but I’m also not a billionaire, so I had to learn how to style my wigs to see what suited me. I went to stores to try things on, experimented with IG to see if certain pieces of jewelry would suit me, and had the time of my life during my experimentation phase. Collecting online images isn’t enough, and it’s very hard to actually get a grasp of what you like if you’re doing everything online. Try your lookout, put things together, adjust it as you please, and tie your loose ends up.

Pt. 4 to come next.

[orangeinecstasy]

i need more of those 5sos thoughts!!!!

bf ashton thoughts ⋆ฺ｡*:･

a/n: ask and you shall receive!!! i swear i've been seeing so much ash content so ofc i had to do him next. he also happens to be my 5sos lane which makes it even better. fluff and smut sections included in this one!!

so so so many beach days. he loved when you record a wave he caught while surfing and it doesn't hurt that you're wearing a bathing suit either

big gift giver. always brings you fresh flowers and makes sure to keep on to know when he needs to rebuy them. picks up little trinkets that he thinks you'll like and tries so hard to package them up cutely but ends up failing. but it's the thought that counts!!

100% tries to teach you how to play the drums, even if its just a simple beat

late night spontaneous dates are a normality when being with him. could be anywhere from going to a park and stargazing to diving into the city and going to a bar

he wants to show you off 24/7. like he doesn't have one picture "this is my partner" picture, its a whole album that he's showing to people because he can't believe you're all his

meditating together

guarding together

tbh just being outside and being in nature together would be a big thing for him

not a super huge pda person but BIG on physical touch

so so so many songs written about you. if they didn't end up on a 5sos album he would totally curate his own and dedicate it to you

tons and tons of inside jokes

would 100% get a tattoo for you. i don't think it would specifically be your name, but maybe some art you produced or something that reminds him of you, etc

not a super big pet name user, but sometimes he'll sprinkle them in

smoking together>>>

smutty/suggestive thoughts below the pics

its always ass or tits, and though ashton definitely loves both i feel like he's more of a thigh guy. they way they're so plush and he can squeeze them and mark them to his liking. how they look in skirts or dressed or when they they're over his shoulders. he can't get enough of them

100% puts you're pleasure first. if he comes, great! but he's so focused on you and making sure that you're experiencing as much pleasure as possible

on that note-- he loved to eat you out. your taste, your smell, the way your hands grip at his hair and his name falls from his lips is just intoxicating for him. he also can't deny how much it boosts his ego knowing that he can make you come with just his mouth

so many suggestive comments when you're with a group of friends. he loves watching you get riled up and pressing your thighs together by his words

he's such a tease oh my god. like you know something is about to happen just by how his eyes shift and that smirk that he can't seem to wipe off his face

such a slut for you. he wants you anywhere all the time. doesn't matter who's around, before a show- after a show, he needs you.

thigh riding!!!

so much casual dominance omg. driving you guys everywhere, constantly trying to find ways to help you, helping you pick out outfits. ugh i can't stop thinking about it

don't think he's a huge lingerie guy, but he really appreciated it when you take the time to pick out a set and doll yourself up

cannot get enough of bondage and blindfolds. both using it on you or you using it on him

obsessed with marking-- he wants people to know he's yours and you're his. like i can just imagine him posting a picture on his instagram story where his hair is all messy and his lips are plump from friction, neck littered with hickeys. he would probably delete it after a couple of minutes because the pr team would actually freak out, but it was most definitely worth it in his book.

high sex

likes to take his time, but doesn’t mind a quickie

cuddles that turn into sex that end up with you two curled back together asleep

love love loves kissing. how simple it can show your affection for someone and how it can be innocent and turn into something more

sleepy sex!!! early mornings or late at night when he’s back from the studio and just needs to be as close to you as possible

[leafy-m]

So I got Witch Hat Atelier Kitchen volume 5 ahead of its release next week Tuesday and..... WILLOWGRAPE WINE, BABY!!

IT TOOK FIVE VOLUMES, but finally! No more games about it not being wine! 🍾❤️🎉 (although I do appreciate the Loop Chalice description correction in vol 3)

And Kodansha USA, I will be right here, ready and waiting for a reprint of Volume 1 (and vol 2) with the word 'wine' rightfully placed back in the text for chapter 10 and chapter 17. (and also put Olruggio's name back in Qifrey's mouth for chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, and fix everything wrong in ch 10. And ch 15 too: it's Qifrey Olruggio is secretly celebrating, not the atelier. I'll rebuy vol 3 if you correct chapter 30's ending too: After all, they're finally living under the same roof! Their queercoding cannot be hidden behind bland text so why fight it! Embrace it!!)

Anyway aside from this great improvement of actually calling the wine *-wine-*, Volume 5 is an absolute delight in both the chapters and the translation. I was also really curious how they would translate the 'parent and child' turnips, and, oh god, it's better than I thought it could be: daddy and pup Turnipups 😭💖

🥺🥺🥺💖💞💗💖💝💞💖

Qifrey called Coco 'my child' in wha volume 12 and now we got Olruggio calling Agott 'kiddo'...... My heart is so full 💝💝💝

Witch Hat Atelier Kitchen volume 5 in English releases October 22

[iwanthermidnightz]

Ahhh did you see the new rolling stone gaylor article ?? I'm so impressed.

When Taylor Swift released the long-awaited rerecording of her genre-leaping album 1989, fans eagerly pored over vault tracks, theories of double albums, and limited edition vinyl releases that could predict Swift’s next re-record. But for Gaylors, a dedicated Swift fanbase that’s existed for over a decade, Swift’s prologue and a mention of her feelings surrounding speculation about her love life have dampened what should have been an exciting release.

Thinking about the 24-year-old she was when 1989 was released, Swift writes, “I swore off dating and decided to only focus on myself, my music, my growth, and my female friendships. If I only hung out with my female friends, people couldn’t sensationalize or sexualize that — right? I would learn later on that people could and people would.” Many users online interpreted that line as a subtle callout to Gaylors, supporters of the niche theory that Swift is queer or leaves queer messaging in her songs. But several members of the Gaylor community tell Rolling Stone they’re actually not convinced the callout is about them — and are receiving targeted and homophobic harassment in the process.

For those not extremely online, Gaylor is an unproven theory that Swift is queer and leaves messages alluding to past relationships in her work, a fan theory that originated on the blogging site Tumblr in the mid-2010s. It is also the fan name for groups of people who believe there are queer interpretations of Swift’s songs. (While Swift has been a vocal ally and advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and representation, she has never publicly commented on Gaylor and has only been in public relationships with men.) Gabriela, a 27-year-old Gaylor, tells Rolling Stone she doesn’t believe Swift’s prologue is about the Gaylor fandom specifically, but she’s frustrated at the use of the word ‘sexualize,” which she says has long been co-opted by fans who think Gaylor is harmful or inherently rude.

“I think it’s a call-out yes, but more to the media at large, rather than just about the Gaylor subset of her fandom, which is only a small piece of her complaint. [Swift] doesn’t want to be assumed to be in a sexual, romantic relationship with anyone she is seen next to,” Gabriela says. “Hetlors [those who object to the Gaylor discourse] are cherry-picking to make it about her ‘shutting down gay rumors.’”

As an internationally beloved artist — one capable of selling more movie tickets than Martin Scorcese and convincing an entire fandom to rebuy her music her way — Swift professes an unusually close relationship with her followers. The lyricist often hides clues in her work and visuals, encouraging fans to decipher what coded messages and hints she’s leaving behind. But Swift has also verbalized how upset slut-shaming and assumptions about her love life make her. Anna, a 23-year-old Gaylor who uses they/them pronouns, agrees that the prologue wasn’t about Gaylor specifically but says they do think all Swift fans online could operate with more boundaries.

“Of course, I’m a little annoyed that people are pulling one or two lines of the prologue out of context and using it as a justification to be homophobic and send death threats to my friends, but I don’t think Taylor is at fault for people misconstruing her words and I think she has every right to call out things that make her uncomfortable,” Anna tells Rolling Stone. “’Shipping’ culture across the fandom seems to have gotten really ugly recently on all accounts. I’ve seen people speculate on her sex life, openly and graphically, track her location, insinuate that she wants/has children and just overall cross a lot of boundaries. It may be unpopular for me to say it, but I do think members on all sides needed to be put in their place a little bit.”

All of the Gaylor fans who spoke to Rolling Stone expressed that beyond the prologue, much of the reaction to them as a group has stemmed from a lack of understanding about why the fandom exists and has lasted for almost a decade. Liv, 26, says that the Gaylor community has been a large part of her life — it’s even how she met her current boyfriend. And she tells Rolling Stone the identity has allowed her to have a deeper understanding of Swift’s lyrics.

“It’s always fun for me to think about what inspired a song. So even if it’s not what happened in Taylor’s life, it’s interesting for me to think about a song through a queer lens, because I feel like it adds a lot of layers that a song about a guy might not have,” Liv says. “And I don’t really know any straight people who are that deeply obsessed with Emily Dickinson.”

The X account @gaylornews has over 12,000 followers. The admin behind the account declined to include her name but tells Rolling Stone Gaylor isn’t just a fun internet conspiracy theory, but means a lot to the community.

“Analyzing her lyrics through a queer perspective is more about defying heteronormative narratives and finding representation and not about invading Taylor’s privacy or sensationalizing her personal life,” the account owner says. “Gaylor is about queer people finding a safe space which straight people not only find but already have everywhere, is about all the things you never learned about yourself, is about feeling seen and genuinely understood.”

Regardless of what people think the prologue is about, Gaylors are worried about one thing: targeted harassment from more mainstream fans of Swift. In an April 2023 report from social media tracking firm Graphika, researchers found that Gaylors made up nine percent of active Swift fans on social media, but are often exiled and isolated from neutral fan spaces. The study also found that anti-Gaylor accounts, also referred to as Hetlors, “play a key role” in how the theory is presented to mainstream audiences and often misrepresent commonly held Gaylor beliefs, which can lead to the harassment and doxxing of neutral Gaylor accounts. Each of the Gaylors who spoke to Rolling Stone detailed targeted harassment, hate speech, and homophobia they’ve received online, something they all believe Swift would stand against.

“I think that people who are against Gaylors think we’re way more serious about it than we are. A lot of the things we say are jokes or ideas or possible theories,” Liv says. “And at the end of the day, none of us know what the truth is about her personal relationships. And we shouldn’t want to because [Taylor Swift] is entitled to her privacy.”

(link)

[acti-veg]

so i told my friend that i wouldnt repurchase rdr2 if i had the choice bcos they used real horses for the motion capturing, which i thought about ig because in the animations u could see the horse acting fearfully which was pretty upsetting cos obviously thats how the real horse felt? ykno so thats why i said i wouldnt rebuy. but it got me thinking cos like, while video games dont usually use real horses for the mocap (at least not the indie ones i play), movies almost always do...like in wicked they had that horse. and it was really obvious the horse was in pain (because of the tossing head and gaping mouth, and the actor was HAULING on their head). so should i have not gone to see the movie? but then yknow, the food in movies is often dead animals and for costuming they use skin and stuff so following that logic its kinda all movies and tv shows i shouldnt see?....idk what do u think?

I think that this needs some thought about what is ‘practicable’ to avoid. Pretty much all film sets will have served meat in production; it may be consumed on film, costume will be made with animal fabrics, horses may be trained and used, or dogs. I’m also not convinced that boycott for this reason would even be registered as dissatisfaction by the studios.

I think we can boycott and draw attention to particularly gratuitous examples though, and campaign for animals to be kept out of the entertainment industry. While I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect every vegan to do this, we all draw our lines in different places, and if you want to boycott a particular game or development studio and advocate that others do the same, I think that is completely legitimate.

[marzipanandminutiae]

looking into rebuilding my pattern collection and it's just

how do I rebuy 7 years' worth of patterns all in one go?

when it's a pattern or two here and there over the years, it's negligible cost-wise. when I need them all back at once, though...

(this brought to you by: the realization that it would be over $200 just to buy back all of the Truly Victorian patterns I had. I could defray that significantly by rebuying the Prior Attire Victorian Dressmaking book, but...that's out of stock right now)

(some things I can get out of pattern books that a friend very generously donated me, but they unfortunately don't have what I'd need to remake the Lucille park dress, for example)

it's just. it's a Lot and I feel very overwhelmed, to be honest

[kosmokhaos]

Lol can you imagine what would happen if EA remastered Sims 3 to 64-bit?

You would think that it would be something they're interested in because half of the community would be willing to rebuy all the EPs and SPs for it.

So like. It gives them MONEY.

Lmao but I guess they want to force people into whatever shit they fart out next after sims 4 era is over. Whenever that is 😭Cause they've milked sims 4 longer than any other sims game so far and they're JUST NOW a decade later saying "hmm maybe we should fix the stuff that's still broken in this game then release more EPs?"

Like please ENOUGH

[annawritesblog]

Matchmaker (m.s.)

Summary: Angie loves walks but also books apparently. Her playfulness results in a matchmaking.

A/N: hey lovelies. Sorry for the long wait, but here’s my second imagine, this time with Mick. It’s missing Mick hours here, so I thought this would be cute. Also, English is not my first language and I do NOT speak German, all the bold texts were translated with google translate, so excuse me if something’s not correct. Enjoy🤍

Today is an exceptionally beautiful day in Switzerland. After days of rain, the beauty of fall is finally showing. The park is covered with leaves and families are spending quality time with each other.

Turning a page in my new book, I inhale the fresh smell of my cappuccino that I couldn't manage to drink in an hour. I'm just so caught up in this book, that I cannot concentrate on anything else. Earlier today, I decided to walk to the nearest park, find a bench and get lost in my book. And that's exactly what I did.

I put my book down and look at my surroundings: happy couples, dogs, trees, babies and older people. Everybody’s chatting and enjoying the last bit of sunshine. The picture is so calming, I could sit here and observe things all day. I wonder if there’s a job like- what the hell?

"Angie, was tast du?" I look down, where I find a dog playing with...my book? When has that fallen out of my lap? I must've been lost in my thoughts again. I should really focus more on what’s happening around me.

"Das tut mir leid." A tall, blonde guy approaches me and takes my book out of what I suppose his dog's mouth. Only if I'd understand what he's saying.

"I'm sorry, I don't speak german." I pause the guy who was still talking to me I guess.

"I-I was just apologising. I'm so sorry, she usually doesn't do things like that. I guess she got excited?" He hands me over my book that's a bit wet, but it salvageable. "I- let me buy you a new one, this one's a bit...damaged."

"No, no. You really don't have to do that. It's completely fine, I actually like it better this way. It's unique." I smile to the very attractive blonde in front of me.

He runs a hand through his short hair and looks to his left, where his dog is, looking all innocent and cute. "Can't be mad at such an angel, right?" He asks while putting the leash on the puppy.

"No, you really can't." I giggle and scratch behind the dog's ear. "What's her name?"

"Angie." He looks at the animal then flashes his blue eyes on me. "And yours? What is your name?"

"Y/n” I answer shyly. "Yours?"

"I'm Mick, nice to meet you." He shakes my hand and instead of feeling uncomfortable, I actually feel chills running up my spine. "Mind if I sit?"

“Not at all.” He sits pretty close to me and the smell of cologne hits me. I take a second to examine Mick: his short blond hair is somewhat messy, but it actually suits him. He has an Under Armour jogging set on, which shows off his massive arms. Before I know it, I’m blushing at the sight of that.

"You have a really pretty accent, Y/n. I like it a lot." Mick looks into my eyes and smiles widely.

"Thank you." Just as he wants to say something,his dog jumps on the bench, just between us. I pet the fluffy animal and coo at her just like a baby. I can feel Mick’s eyes on me, his stare burning holes in my body. God he’s attractive.

“So hey, I really do feel bad about the book. It’s not acceptable.” He says and fumbles with one of his many bracelets.

“It’s totally fine. Now it has a story.” I smile at the blue eyed boy but he just doesn’t let this matter to rest.

“Still, I would like to rebuy that. Or any book really.” Now he seems eager almost. Although, not gonna lie, a book shopping date doesn’t sound half bad.

“Okay, alright. You can buy me a new book.” He smiles at this and nods. The dog between us starts barking so Mick takes her by the leash and stands up.

“I think someone’s hungry.” He pets Angie’s head and the cutie starts to shake her tail. “I think we need to get going, but can I have your number? You know for the book?” He asks and I feel my face turning red.

“Yeah, sure.” I try to act naturally as he hands me his phone and I type in my number. I save the number alongside with my name and hand him back the device.

“Thank you. So, I guess I’ll see you later?” He scratches the back of his neck and I nod. He will see me again for sure. “Well then, have a nice day Y/n.”

“You too, Mick.” I smile as he walks away. The leash however was twister around his feet so he almost fell over.

“Get it together, Mick.”

[tomatoswup]

Trigun and Perfume: A Headcanon 🥸

summary: Roulette through the Macy's Perfume Aisle! What's YOUR favorite character's perfume smell?

characters: vash the stampede, nicholas d. wolfwood, meryl stryfe, milly thompson

A/N: i said i was gonna make a headcanon post about trigun and perfumes didn't i 🥸 i had fun actually putting my frequent times smelling the perfumes at the Macy's perfume section to wORRKKKKKKK,,, have i smelled all of the perfumes listed before? yes, my friends and I are fiends for perfumes hehehe so we usually gift them out for birthdays or holidays. maybe i'll make another post that includes knives, roberto, zazie, etc. but I'll have to go perfume smelling for them. Enjoy!~

Vash The Stampede

Dior Sauvage Elixir

top notes: Cinnamon, Nutmeg, Cardamom, Grapefruit

-Vash would totally wear this perfume my top headcanon

-I can see Vash not being a fan of overall too sweet scents, but just a tad bit.

-This is his main perfume to any occasion,,,,loves that people can recognize he was there by just his smell heellloooooooooo? o//o

-He runs through this like crazy, but he does have the mini version!

My notes: This perfume starts off with a woody, musky and earthy scent at the first spray but as it settles, it leaves a very honey-like faint after-smell that makes the knees jelly. How wonderful for the Humanoid Typhoon! pheromones whoooooo :P

Nicholas D. Wolfwood

Versace Man Eau Fraîche

top notes: White Lemon, Rose Wood, Carambola

base notes: musk, amber, sycamore wood

-I can see Wolfwood lean more towards the woody yet aromatic/clean scents.

-Settles in well with his skin, giving the perfume a better twist with his own smoky/natural musk scent and the clean/fresh scent of the toilette mixing.

-Sprays once in a while, he's kinda broke :/ but it's okay! The bottle is a pretty nice size so it lasts a pretty long time!

-I didn't give him any deep musk scent bc mf already kinda has that smoker scent he's on his 100th pack atp

My notes: This scent delivers a faint musk smell but honestly it kinda reminds me of what the woods would smell like but amplified 2x if they were by a waterfall.

So moreover, if water smelled like a man. But honestly, I like this scent, it doesn't burn the nose like other man colognes/perfumes. Touché Undertaker!

Meryl Stryfe

Giorgio Armani Acqua Di Giolia

top notes: Lemon, Jasmine, Cedarwood

-Meryl is more of a fresh scent kinda person and this is that scent.

-It smells like peace tbh, and Meryl finds the fresh airy scent to it very comforting in the sudden chaos and trouble that always surrounds Milly and her.

-gets the smell of gun powder out of her nose palette.

my notes: if you're into very fresh scents that remind you of the nice scent of the sandy beaches or honestly like summer you'll like this one! Personally, this kinda reminds me of a freshly cut green cantaloupe(very specific hehe)

The tint of jasmine and lemon touches when you smell it give the calming effect it focuses on. Very Nice! Has to constantly rebuy bc she loses the bottle often

Milly Thompson

YSL Black Opium The Original

top notes: Black Coffee, White Flowers, Vanilla

-TOTALLY A MILLY SMELL

-LEGIT SMELLS LIKE A SOFT CARAMEL CANDY

-It's a very warm and sweet mix that I think she'll love smelling on her clothes and just generally the tint of vanilla in it.

-Honestly smells like flan,, or caramelized sugar :)

-tbh its my next perfume purchase They say it has coffee in it but it doesn't smell like it.

-I was torn between this perfume and the pink or green Burberry Her for Milly (the pink one smells like sweet strawberry yogurt and the green one smells like those lil containers of jellies that had little fruit pieces in them if you know you know) yes i have both of them

-But i found this to be a more fitting smell for her!

-Steal her jacket and it smells like Vanilla extract in the best way

My Notes: With a very caramel and vanilla smooth smell, this perfume leaves behind quite the scent of sugar and spice! A very sensual yet playfully smell of autumn! Nice taste Milly!

[wednesdaysswoes]

when u walk away .

pairing : xavier thorpe x anorexic reader

summary : xavier knew reader had mental health issues , but to what extent ?

warnings : mentions of anorexia , depression , anxiety , sorry if u have ed and it’s not like this for u, i personally have it which is why some of the examples in the story are so specific,#skinnyicon 😭😭 also if this makes uncomfortable srry just don’t read it😛

ఌ

you woke up with a gasp , enid had shook you awake when you were in a particularly deep slumber , you squeezed your eyes shut , praying maybe if you pretended you were dead she would leave.

“Y/N!! did you forget an alarm? we have to leave for breakfast soon.”

you rolled ur eyes as you turned back over in bed “im not hungry, plus id rather be sleeping before class, i’ll wake up before class starts .” you said ignoring her other words , exhaustion taking over you.

“well what about xavier ? it’ll be awkward if he sits at the table with us and you’re not there.” she replied back , trying to coax her out of bed.

“well xavier can deal with it im trying to sleep enid “

sighing , enid grabbed her things and went out the door , and about twenty minutes later after silent peace , y/ns alarm went off to get ready for class.

sitting herself up, she rubbed her eyes as she looked at the bruises forming on her legs , her iron had become extremely low recently , causing her to bruise over pretty much everything .

she put mascara on , and spot concealer over her eyebags , but she didn’t really care to do the rest of her makeup , instead putting on her uniform and focusing on avoiding xavier before first period .

which was really the last thing she wanted to do, but she felt like she needed to avoid him for her own sake , lately he has started to do what all bfs to with their gfs , worry about them .

but it was for a specific reason , she has began to heavily decrease the food she was eating , which caused xavier to worry for a multitude of reasons, when you guys were intimate , he held you like glass, like you could break at any moment , any slight grip from his hands would end with a bruise forming on you , which made him worry even more.

but also because of your drop in weight , he even confirmed it himself when he checked the size of one of ur shirts u had left in his room when u first started dating , size M, to your uniform you even had to rebuy to get in a smaller size , a size XS.

you thought about it as you walked , bag over your shoulder as you walked through the halls , and into first period botany . You avoided xavier’s eyes as he obviously was wondering where you were that morning .

sitting down , he taps your thigh . “why didn’t you answer my texts ?” he asks . “i dont think i even brought it with me , i haven’t really been on it.” you reply absentmindedly , which makes him fiddle his fingers in concern .

“it’s just i was looking for you most of the morning .” he said , before mrs thornhill began speaking.

about 45 minutes later , everyone began to pack their things for next period, which unlucky for you was another class with xavier .

as the bell rang and you guys left for class , xavier noticed you turn to the opposite way of the hallway . “did you not wanna walk together ?” he asked catching up with you “plus where are you even going ?”

“im just going the long way , i don’t really wanna go to class” you responded , which made him frown “well you can’t ditch .” he said , matter of factly, to which you rolled you eyes . “obviously, i wouldve just been late or something .” you responded

“oh okay.. so i’ll see you later ? “ he says , heading to your guys’s next class . you didn’t respond as you walked away , you really didn’t mean to treat him this way, when you were at war in you head you tended to create war with everyone else, even if xavier was the one helping you fight .

you walked into the bathroom , sitting in a stall and resting your head against the wall ; you were exhausted, you didn’t even realize when the bell rang for class, or when five minutes turned to ten minutes , when ten turned into you being in the bathroom all period .

You would’ve probably stayed sitting there longer had xavier not texted you.

xav 💕 : did i do smth? why are you avoiding me

you shut your phone off as you walked out of the bathroom to the hallway near your third period , as you had technically already skipped a class, you couldn’t skip anymore . luckily this was a class without xavier in it.

You walked through the door and sat down in the back , the farthest from the teachers desk and you put your head down. you hadn’t realized you began to doze off, and woke up to your teacher shaking you awake .

“Y/N! if you cannot remain awake during class hours i will have to let principal weems know that.”

You rolled your eyes as you walked out , just wanting the day over.

when classes had concluded for the day , you trudged back into your dorm , wanting nothing more then to sleep or even just lay down . But sadly as you walked into your room you realized it was friday.

date night.

you walked in to see Xavier sitting on your bed with flowers , you mustered a smile and greeted him with a hug.

“hey lover” he spoke softly , wrapping his arms around you, to which you reciprocated. he kissed the top of your head , speaking softly “wanna still go out ? we dont have to if you aren’t up for it, i mean you seemed pretty off earlier .”

you took a breath in “yea we can, i just wasn’t feeling well earlier , sorry”

“that’s always your excuse , you never feel well .”

“well what do you want me to say xavier?”

“i just-“ he put his insecurities aside , as much as people told him your behavior meant you were being unfaithful, he knew that wasn’t it. “i just want you to talk to me , im worried about you .”

you blinked at him for a moment “why are you worried about me ?”

“why am i- why wouldn’t i be? im your boy friend and - and you’re dropping weight like crazy y/n, i don’t know if something’s wrong or not when you don’t talk to me.”

you were a little stunned , sure you knew you had a problem, but it was like u had put yourself in a bubble , thinking that you were the only one to notice anything about yourself . you didn’t realize how painfully obvious it was when u skipped breakfast and dinner , only opting for lunch .

“I mean- y/n you weren’t even overweight you - you were healthy and just i don’t understand why you’d do something like that to yourself.”

“well maybe i don’t either Xavier! but the last thing i need is you coming in here and fucking getting mad at me about it!”

“baby im not mad at you . im worried about you , and im sad whatever your dealing with you feel you have to hide from everyone , i just want you to talk to me.”

“nothing is wrong xavier , i just- can we do date night another night ? im tired.” you said , walking away from him.

“but - y/n “ he said standing up and walking towards you “why do you always walk away when i try to help?”

“because i- i don’t even know what’s wrong.” you said , looking away because you were embarrassed. but he gently grabbed ur chin and turned your face towards him . “then please let me help you, i just feel like you aren’t happy , no matter what you do , and it’s just - i’ve noticed things that make me really worried.”

you blinked at him , confused “such as?” you said , which prompted his heavy response . “remember how bad your periods used to get ? like it used to knock you off your schedule for days and made you miserable , you don’t think it was noticeable you stopped having your period ? “

you were irritated now as you thought of a rebuttal “well then why didn’t you check if i was pregnant?” you said spitefully . “i mean , fair. but you were only losing weight , so i didn’t think it was that , i googled it and malnutrition can make your period stop, im - im not trying to be nosy and in your business about it , bu-“

“well you are” you said harshly , standing up “and you shouldn’t be .” he looked at with hurt and concern, as you grabbed your phone and backpack and walked out of your room.

“i died a lot , to live a little with you.”

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