#I would like to clarify that I’m agnostic

[jes12321]

Me making out with Jesus in the Denny’s parking lot.

[illarian-rambling]

Lore Drop: The Illarian Gods

“Wait a minute,” Izjik interrupted, “Not to be that foreigner, but you did kidnap me, so I don’t really give a shit. What’s the Illarian church?”

“Really?” To Izjik’s surprise, it was Djek who answered. “I’m agnostic and even I know that. Who is it you think Twenari prays to every time she gets out that mess of crystals and incense?”

“You’re a human! Isn’t it a human religion? Don’t act like you’re smarter than me for knowing your own people’s religion,” Izjik snapped.

Daedryn sighed heavily. It seemed the greatest enemy to her faith wasn’t quite what she’d expected.

“The temple you were at, that was an Illarian temple, dedicated to one of the thirty-four gods in our pantheon,” the knight explained, “Illarianism is the state religion of the Republic, Nabafyr, and Skysheer, though it is still the most dominant in its birthplace—the Janazi archipelago.”

“Got it. Understood. Please carry on.” Izjik gestured for Daedryn to continue the best she could with her hand tied.

The knight nodded politely, giving her a patient smile, before remembering who she was smiling at and falling back into a stern frown.

“The gods of the Illarian pantheon have charged us, their thirty-four favored Chosen, with eradicating any End presences we find on this world. As such, I will take you to the All-Temple and you will be consecrated—your tainted soul and its unholy link destroyed entirely. That will hopefully free this man from the enchantment you have enthralled him with.”

Daedryn gave a slight, grim sort of smile, as if satisfied with her good work. “In a way, you have done me a great service. My name will be echoed through the ages—Daedryn Whitenight, Chosen of Loqang and slayer of End-Made-Flesh.”

Long post, so I'll put the rest under the cut ;)

So, to start, let's clarify some etymology. Most of the 'in world' words from my setting come from the Janazi language unless otherwise specified, as it is the most widely spoken language on Illaros. One common prefix you might notice is Illa. It means horizon, roughly, which is a very important concept to the humans who originally spoke Janazi. From it, you get words like Illaros (world of horizons), Illankas (city on the horizon), and Illarian (Gods from the horizon). This can be a bit confusing, as Illarian refers to the gods and Illari refers to people from Illaros.

As Lady Daedryn said, there are 34 Illarian gods. As per their creation myth, the Creator was the first thing in the universe - the God of gods. It wished to fulfill its purpose by, well, creating, so it made the sun, moon, and stars, then the earth and water. However, its creations were empty without life, but as a non-living being, the Creator was stumped on how to create that.

After some consideration, it broke off two, lesser pieces of itself and infused them with energy of the new world it had made. These pieces were named Tsa and Ayu - Mind and Body, respectively. As they were born of the earth and water as much as they Creator, they were able to forge life, breaking off pieces of themselves to make people much as the Creator had broken off pieces of itself to make them. Due to this, all people have a spark of the divine within them - a lasting imprint from Tsa and Ayu.

However, these new people grew lonely. The world was still foggy and dark, the sun dim in its infancy. The people began telling tales of great beings who would protect them and keep them company. Because of their divine souls, these people had enough leftover energy from pure creation to form gods to fill these rolls. Four hosts of eight were born, one for each primal element, 32 in total.

These gods, being born from human minds, kept some very human characteristics. They squabble and fight, even with siblings of the same host. They love and lust. Some are cowards. Some are heros.

Each Illarian god has two domains, one physical and one mental. Worshippers seeking to emulate or protect against those domains will pray to certain gods either out of desire or fear.

Generally, there is no 'good' or 'evil' in Illarian theology. If you emulate a certain god as best you can, you'll end up in that god's heaven. If you piss one off a whole lot, you'll end up in that god's hell. Given how many Illarian gods are diametrically opposed, this leads to lots of arguments over which souls go to who.

The gods don't appear directly to most folk, however, each has one Chosen. These are their hands in the mortal realm. A Chosen can perform miracles using divine magic borrowed from their god, including healing and much else. Generally, gods and their Chosen are quite close, as a Chosen is specifically the mortal which most closely emulates their god.

The Chosen were established thousands of years ago, during an event which has mostly been lost to legend. As the priests tell it, a great beast came down from the sky to devour the world. The gods banded together, however, the demon could sense their divine power from far away and was able to hide any time they drew near. In order to circumvent this, the gods chose one mortal each to wield a small sliver of their power - too small to be sensed by the demon. Together, with the Chosen to sneak in and pin the beast, holding it for the gods to kill, they were able to win the fight. Later, this demon would come to be called the Stareater, and from then on, all Chosen were housed in the All-Temple, the heart of the Illarian religion located on the Janazi island of Illadir.

There are many more stories to be told about the Illarian (AWOL gods, massacred pantheons, the murdered god of wonder) but this post is already long as is. To finish off, here's a list of the Illarian gods.

Those Above The Creator, God of gods Tsa, maker of the body Ayu, maker of the mind

First Host-Gods of Sky Timaz, father of storms and patron of the greedy Sen, lightning maker and patron of the intelligent Nes, thunder smith and patron of the brave Tefhiri, wanderer on the winds and patron of the free Qular, rain bringer and patron of the calm Beshha, spinner of clouds and patron of the merciful, death guide for good souls Kembri, the snowy death and patron of duality Nameless

Second Host-Gods of the Water Kes, sea warden and patron of the mysterious Loqang, keeper of rivers and patron of the loyal, death guide for souls who fell in service Shesh, reaper of the lakes and patron of the lazy Dramesunji, He who lurks in the aquifer and patron of the cunning Kama, the misery of ice and patron of the cruel Danta, mistress of fish and patron of the charitable Qespir, the heart of all leviathans and patron of the enraged Sham, the tsunami dancer and patron of fools

Third Host-Gods of the Land Busar, He who carves the stone and patron of the strong Festa, She who breathes life into soil and patron of the humble Sambur, teacher of crops and patron of the determined Maza, listener in the forest and patron of the wise Umail, beast mother and patron of those who survive Doshu, lurker in caves and patron of the treacherous, death guide for evil souls Setsa, protector of darkness and patron of women Poutza, maker of medicine and patron of the caring

Fourth Host-Gods of Flame Samira, the hearth mother and patron of families Vaane, She who screams the wildfire and patron of the hungry Astes, protector of light and patron of men Wentsu, ash-streaked and patron of despair Ibara, the star sailor and patron of those who wander, death guide for lost souls Erani, volcano maker and patron of the ambitious Nantavi, He who heats the skin and heart, patron of passion Aetru, They who see with the sun and moon, patron of joy and the androgynous

Lmk if you have any questions and I hope you have a bitchin day!

Whoops almost forgot I have a tag list for a reason!

@amandacanwrite @elsie-writes @riveriafalll @kosmic-kore @kaylinalexanderbooks @bard-coded @carrotsinnovember @patternwelded-quill @somethingclevermahogony @whatwewrotepodcast @goldxdarkness @the-angriest-author @mk-writes-stuff @frostedlemonwriter @vyuntspakhkite-l-darling @thebejeweledwatercat

[automatismoateo]

I don't know what to do about my parents threatening to disown me if I admit to them that I am agnostic via /r/atheism

I don't know what to do about my parents threatening to disown me if I admit to them that I am agnostic

Ok, this one is a doozy so get ready to hear it..

My (f19) entire life I have been raised in a very conservative, Roman Catholic household. I'm talking about going to Church every week and a private Catholic school kind of life. My parents are extremely strict and steadfast in their religious and Christian values, notably that they are Pro-Life and believe anyone who is Pro-Choice is like the worst form of humanity. For the first part of my life due to indoctrination, I never questioned this line of thinking and didn't think too hard about it. However, as I got older and experienced high school and my first year of college, I'm beginning to realize that what I have been taught to worship is false and hurtful for many groups. Naturally, I kept this fact to myself as I was going through major phases of self-discovery and kept quiet. I continued to reluctantly go to Church and agree with my parents because I knew that otherwise there would be major consequences to pay that I was not ready for.

Fast forward to 2 years ago, and I met the most amazing guy (m19). I'm aware that I'm young and acknowledge that we are both growing and changing and have a lot of life to live, but I really love him and am in the middle of n LDR with him due to college with the plans of staying together later on in life. He makes me smile, laughs, treats me like a queen, and makes me so happy I can hardly believe I got so lucky to have him in my life, much less be loved by him. One of the reasons I love him so much is that we have similar perspectives on life, including that of religion. He himself is an atheist and I consider myself to be agnostic/questioning faith. However, he always reassures me that whatever I choose to do with my life, he will always love me no matter what and is always supportive of whatever I choose to do. Still, I am quite sure of my rapidly growing agnosticism.

About a month ago, my boyfriend came to visit me and my family. It was seriously the best vacation ever except for the fact that he started talking to my mom about his opinions on abortion and his atheism. I would like to clarify that I am absolutely not upset at him for being honest with his views and opinions with my mom. I would never ask him to lie and pretend he's something he is not (which is another reason I love him). After he left, my mom really stuck to the fact that he was an atheist and essentially freaked out saying that we weren't compatible long-term and I shouldn't expect support from my parents in this relationship (even though they've known him and have enjoyed his company for the past 2 years). She kept mentioning how he and I have fundamental differences in our religions, except for the fact that we don't because I don't consider myself to be a Christian anymore. We have had on-and-off conversations with me kind of cowardly avoiding the question and vaguely bringing up my points of confusion with the idea of Christianity, but it all came to a head today.

My mom somehow got into the topic of abortion today and I finally was honest and admitted that I consider myself to be fully pro-choice. She connected the dots to this meaning I was not a follower of God, This completely set her off and she started calling me a disgusting person, and immoral, and when she looks at me she feels like vomiting. She threatened to kick me out of the house and told me that if I continue down my current path I'm not going to have a relationship with them and they will refuse to be a part of my wedding and my life. I've been long accused of using my parents for various reasons (college tuition, shelter, etc.) and this was a repeated instance of that. I have never felt so lonely and depressed than when my mom looked at me and said I was the biggest disappointment in her life. With the impending threat of being put out on the street, I cowardly backtracked and made it seem like "I was still figuring things out" and "I didn't say I don't believe in God". I know this was awful and put me three steps back from where I started but my survival instinct kicked in and as I'm not completely financially independent, I felt like I had to lie to my parents in order to continue my college education and continue living in my house (in a state where I recently moved to and have no close friends that aren't at least 1,000 miles away. I ended up easing my mom's anger with these lies and I feel like a terrible person. I'm lying to my parents and I feel like I'm lying to myself. I know my boyfriend will support me and comfort me too, but I also fear that he deserved better than someone who lies and misleads their parents because they are too afraid of the consequences at this point in their life. I know at some point I'm either going to have to choose to lead a life estranged from my parents or one where I am forced to live in a lie and the thought of this is incredibly depressing. I feel like a coward and a manipulator and I'm honestly disgusted with myself for not having the balls to stick up for my beliefs.

I'm sorry this is so long, I really just needed a place to vent and seek out some advice. How should I continue on knowing what my parent's reaction will be once I finally come clean?

​

Submitted July 09, 2023 at 01:22AM by AbbreviationsIcy3319 (From Reddit https://ift.tt/1MXGsSU)

[oh-yes-i-did-not]

For some reason I’ve been going down a memory lane and even remembering stuff I’d forgotten. While I’m the infuriating agnostic-atheist fence sitter that everyone hates these days, both religious and non-religious people, I was brought up Lutheran. And while I don’t remember one moment of believing in something I can’t see, hear, feel, or touch, it was pretty much the only free option to do anything after school, and thus the one that my mom couldn’t control. Like, she really, REALLY loved the spiel of “if you don’t behave and do things up to my standards then we won’t be paying for this” and somehow nothing was ever good enough for her so I had no paid hobbies, end of.

So anyways, I spent a shit ton of time at church and in church activities as a kid. I kinda felt bad about it at times, but also, not really. My personal beliefs didn’t matter to them anyways, just that I showed up and did shit. And if ended up being the receiving older kid on some kid’s personal musings? Well, agnosticism is not exactly... hhhh, I wanna say judged, but I also grew in the bible belt of my country and where most of the small sects and cults came from, so I wouldn’t say it was ever the safe option. But there is no official word against it afaik. And the whole “cool, hip, young pastors” was a thing back then so I don’t think they minded anyways. So if I asked the kids to think about some things on their own, where’s the harm?

The only time I really regret, and it wasn’t even my fault, was when I was leading a camp group at... well, it’s kinda hard to explain Finnish Lutheran practices to foreigners, but we do this thing called confirmation as the age of 14-15. It’s preceded by a religious indoctrination camp where we spend a week in some remote place with only priests and pastors and a handful of other kids, older teens, who act as camp group leaders. And the whole point is to learn as much about bible and then test on it like you were in a school.

So anyways, one day we got assignments to write group works about angels. And my group (the group I was leading as an older, already confirmed teen, just to clarify, I was not a member going through confirmation) for one reason or another, personal or no, they decided to write about the trauma of a child dying and then the family having the comfort of knowing that child is now an angel, watching over them all. It was a group of 5 teenagers and they all decided to write about that. It was pretty damned important to them, okay?

The priest residing over just nodded and we all thought it was good, we did good.

But that weekend? On Sunday sermon? That same priest preached about the heresy of believing mere humans could become angels, the horrible thought that gods created angels could be tainted by humanity. I was mortified. And I was also just a teen myself so I don’t think I handled it well. I actually don’t even remember what I said to my group or what I did, but I don’t think it was anything helpful. I was just so, absolutely, horrified by what the priest said.

Like, I have some religious trauma, that included, but little of it comes from the small circles of church I mostly interacted with as a kid and a teen, okay? It was a pretty nice place but also, the adults there sheltered me from a LOT. Just that when I got older, the less handful of people could protect me. Even the fact that I could walk into the church office at 18, resigning from church, and the people there being all “okay, that’s fine, just sign here” with smiles, is not that common, I later learned. The fact that eroakirkosta.fi exists is for a reason. It’s not always that easy. I could do it in person, my partner later on absolutely could not.

This is all just to empathize that while you can have a good time in a church environment and the people around you are nice and accepting, that is not the case for everyone. And while I don’t have statistics about anything, I would go as far as wager that it’s not so in majority of parishes. It’s just a rough estimation between me and all the people I know who had the exact opposite experiences. ‘Cause I’m pretty alone in this category of “had some good times, some disturbing times, took advantage, then left lmao” category.

And yes, I do believe people telling me they did not have the same experiences as me. Why would I not?

[prefrontal-bastard]

I mean, I suppose it begs for me to examine my understanding of nu-atheism as well. I could be wrong.

But to clarify what Scientism is, it’s not really a religion proper. It’s an anthropological construct that describes a kind of phenomenon that emerges when people handle science like it's a doctrine.

Scientism is basically the view that science is the only legitimate model for deriving meaning from the world.

My folks were guilty of this. They were agnostic and never thought about religion, but that also had some kind of unchecked culturally-Catholic OS running in the background of their mentalities.

One of the major unchecked Catholic things they would do is use conclusions drawn in studies as directives for how to be proper and upstanding people.

For example: If a study came out that said “Science shows that a role is easier to play when you’re dressed for the part,” my parents would interpret that as “we should always dress our kids in nice things to encourage them to be nice people,” completely overlooking the fact that “nice” is relative and that this only works because the wearer finds meaning and value to the outfit they’re wearing.

My folks also had a very weird “sins of the father” scenario going where they’d blame all my allegedly undesirable behavior on my bio-dad’s “bad genetics.” It was not great and got dangerously close to eugenics territory at times.

I came across the word “scientism” when searching for something to describe how my parents thought, because as you can imagine, this stuff legitimately fucked with my head and I needed a point of reference to distingish it from science proper.

I’m very curious to know how it compares to nu-atheism though.

In case someone has told you otherwise: Science is not an ideology.

Science refers to the different fields of knowledge that emerge through using a particular model of discernment known as the scientific method.

Simply put, the scientific method is a formal process of doing experiments and seeing what happens. We fuck around, find out, and then fuck around some more based on what we found out. This lets us figure out what things are and how they work.

The drive behind science is curiosity. We have a natural desire to understand the phenomena around us and invent new things. It doesn't beget the need to believe in anything, just to observe things and see what happens when we mess with them.

Treating science as some kind of religious doctrine is how we get Scientism, which is prevelent in nu-atheism and is, most importantly, not science.

Scientism takes scientific content and dumps it into a Christian cognitive framework, treating scientific conclusions as doctrines to abide by rather than as an interpretations of gathered data.

This is where eugenics comes from.

[athena-writes-i-guess]

Mistletoe

Summary: Dustin hatches a scheme to get you and Eddie together (I suck at these summaries I’m sorry)

Pairing: Eddie Munson X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, slow burn, angst, friends to lovers

Warnings: Language, anxious thoughts, insecurities, pet names used(Sweetheart, babydoll, doll, dolly, princess, baby), maybe ooc characters?, Christmas(but celebrated by agnostics, so no religion talk here)

Word Count: 5.8K

Author’s Note: Hello, this was going to be part 4 of my series but I didn’t love how it came out. I wrote a new part 4 and posted it but I know some people like this one so I made it a one shot.. I’ve also been toying with the idea of taking suggestions for one-shot ideas, either with this character or different ones, let me know if you would want me to try that! Also I may have made the first day in this fic be my birthday(not the year though), so thats just a little easter egg for y’all.

I wish I could tell you why it’s adding random definition links to the lyrics in this fic but I don’t know. So sorry about that.

My taglist is open, let me know if you would like to be added in the next part! 

Likes, reblogs, and comments are always welcome!

Masterlist

Monday, Dec. 16, 1985 

“So run this by me again?” Mike asked, shutting his locker and beginning his way towards their shared class.

“We throw a Christmas party after Hellfire so we can hang mistletoe and get them to kiss, then they might finally realize how they feel about each other.” Dustin answered, gesturing with his hands.

“Why does it need to be a Christmas party? Why don’t we just hang the mistletoe? Do we need to make it a party?” Lucas questioned as he followed his friends.

“Why would there be a random piece of mistletoe hanging in the drama room? This is a school. This way we can say that it’s just tradition.” Dustin responded, stopping just before their classroom door.

“I don’t know, I feel a little weird about forcing them to kiss, you know?” Mike said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“They’re idiots Mike, they won’t ever tell each other. I just know if we can get Y/N and Eddie to just kiss for real, they won’t be able to hide their feelings anymore.” Dustin said, crossing his arms.

“But they kiss all the time, why would this be different?” Lucas asked, furrowing his brow in confusion.

“Yeah on the cheek-” Dustin started.

“Or hand-” Mike interrupted.

“Or forehead-” 

“Or-”

“Yeah, okay I get it!” Lucas exclaimed, stopping his friends from their back and forth.

“The point is, they’ve never really kissed so if we make them maybe they’ll get their heads out of their asses and get together. I can’t listen to Eddie anymore man.” Dustin finished in an almost pleading tone.

“Okay, but you’re the one asking Eddie.” Lucas stated before shaking his head and walking into their class. 

“Right. Shit.” Dustin sighed as Mike gave him a supportive pat on the shoulder before walking into class as well.

~

“You want to have a what now, Henderson?” Eddie asked, eyes scrutinizing and arms crossed, as you all sat at your lunch table. 

“I-uh- was thinking..that it would be nice for us to have a little party before the break.” Dustin explained wide eyed, “You know, to celebrate a semester of adventuring?” His voice rising in octaves near the end.

“A Christmas party?” Eddie clarified.

“Or Yule if you prefer.” Dustin suggested with a nervous smile.

“Absolutely not.” The metalhead declared. “We don’t have Christmas parties in Hellfire Club.”

You watched how Dustin seemed to deflate with disappointment, whatever reason he wanted to have the party seemed important to him. You knew Dustin was an only child like you but he only had his mother, maybe Christmas was lonely with just him and his mom and he just wanted to spend extra time with his friends before being alone for break. You had a large soft spot for the boy, kind of adopting him as a little brother. 

“Eddie, are you sure we can’t make this one exception?” You asked, turning your large eyes on the man. “It’ll be nice to have a little party and spend some non-D&D time together.” 

“Y/N-” Eddie started, about to shut this down, knowing he was weak to your pleading eyes. 

“Eds, it’s important to him.” You stated, adding a gentle hand to one of his crossed arms. 

Eddie sighed and you knew you won. “Fine you little jerk, you can have your ridiculous party.” 

Dustin beamed from his spot next to you. “So what do we need to do to make this little party happen, Dusty?” You asked, using the nickname you had adopted in your 3rd week in Hawkins after hearing his mom call him it one time when you dropped him off.

“We’ll get the decorations and set up before Hellfire, we just need food and drinks.” Now it was Dustin's turn to use his pleading eyes on you.  

“You want me to make you cupcakes again don’t you Henderson?” You asked with a sigh. 

“Please? They’re so good.” He asked quickly. 

‘Fine.” You said exaggeratedly, “You are a little jerk, you know that?”  

“So I’ve been told.” He said before taking a bite of his food. 

~Friday~

“Okay, so just don’t stand over by that corner of the table, that’s where we put it.” Dustin told the rest of Hellfire Club, minus you and Eddie, filling them in on the plan. You were to have your campaign and once it was over the party would start. Dustin would have you put your cupcakes in said corner of a table that was against a wall and near the end of the party he would have you and Eddie end up right under the mistletoe. He knew Eddie loved your cupcakes just as much as everyone else, maybe even more, so all he needed was to get you both over there at the same time. Easy. 

“I don’t know Dustin, this still seems weird to do.” Jeff said, shaking his head from where he sat at the D&D table.

“I know, you guys have been telling me.” Dustin sighed from his seat. 

“It’s not that we don’t want them to get together, I guess we just don’t see why we have to force them.” Mike stated as he got his dice out of his backpack. 

“Yeah, we get that it’s annoying to see them staring at each other all the time but it’s not that bad.” Gareth added. 

“You’re not the one that Eddie calls to talk about her.” Dustin shot back to the group with a shake of his head. 

“He calls you?” Jeff asked.

“Yeah like every couple days right?” Lucas added from his spot next to Mike. 

“Yes. And I need a break. I have my own girlfriend to talk to.” Dustin answered. Yes Eddie was annoying the boy to no end with his calls but he also cared a lot about you and his Dungeon Master. He could see how much you both wanted to be with each other but he knew you wouldn’t get there on your own. So he needed to help. 

Just as Gareth was about to say something else, they all heard the door start to open and shut their mouths. You and Eddie walked in arms full of food and drink. You were carrying your cupcakes and a few bags of chips while Eddie was carrying a case of Mountain Dew and his D&D supplies. Dustin watched your eyes widen and a smile grow on your face as you took in the sparse decorations the boys were able to get, while Eddie rolled his eyes. 

“It looks so cute in here, boys.” You said cheerfully, “Where do you want these Dusty?” 

“Right over there!” Dustin shouted, pointing to the end of the table they had left for the treats. “I’ll take one of those sodas, Eddie.” He quickly added when he saw the metalhead start to follow you to the table. It was too early for that. 

Eddie rolled his eyes again and made his way over to the D&D table, shoving the case of drinks into Dustin’s arms before starting to set up his DMing area. “As requested, Henderson.” He said. 

“Thank you.” The boy said, opening the case and passing the drinks around the table. 

You took your seat next to Eddie and pulled out your character sheet, notebook, and dice. Once all settled you set your attention on Eddie as he addressed the room. 

“Gentlemen. Lady Echo.” He sent you a smile and a wink causing you to beam up at him, both of you too interested in each other to notice the conspiratorial looks being passed around the table around you, “We left off in the tavern in Havenheim. What would you like to do first?” 

~

The party had been going on for a little while now, though it was nearing its end as you knew you had to get all the younger kids home soon. 

“We have to clean up and leave in like 5 minutes okay guys?” You informed Dustin, Lucas, and Mike. You and Eddie had taken the boys to school and would be taking them home before you and Eddie would be heading back to his trailer for the night. 

Dustin’s hands grew sweaty, he had to do this now or never. He noticed Eddie get up after finishing a conversation with Gareth and head over towards the food table. Perfect. 

“Hey Y/N? Could you please get me a cupcake?” He asked as sweetly as he possibly could. “My leg fell asleep!” He added when he saw you about to protest. 

You rolled your eyes and scoffed, “Sure it did Dusty.” You gave an affectionate little shove before heading over to the table. 

Dustin watched as you approached the table and stood next to Eddie, right under the mistletoe they hung earlier. 

“That little shit wanted a party and now he’s making me get him a cupcake.” You said with a laugh to the metalhead as he was swallowing the cupcake he just inhaled. “Maybe you’re right, I do need to learn to say no to him better.”

“What a little asshole.” He chuckled back, “I know you see him as a little brother, but you don’t need to actually act like it, doll.” 

As you were about to respond, you heard someone loudly clear their voice. Clearly trying to get your attention. You both looked over towards the noise and saw the boy in question, still in his chair where you left him. 

“What now Dustin? I’m about to grab it, calm down.” You said with a sigh. 

“It’s not that. It’s-uh-“ He gestured to a spot above yours and Eddie’s heads. You both looked up and saw the small branch hanging on a wire from one of the beans holding the lights.. 

“Is that-“ Eddie started.

“Mistletoe.” You finished, eyes wider than they were before. You and Eddie looked at each other, neither knowing what to do. 

“We don’t have to..” You said, suddenly feeling incredibly warm. 

“Right. We don’t have to, it’s just a stupid tradition.” Eddie agreed, shoving his hands in his pockets so you couldn’t see them shaking. 

“Yes you do!” Dustin yelled, you both glared at him, causing him to shrink in his seat. 

You fidgeted with your ring as you looked at Eddie, he looked back at you with a nervous expression. Were you about to kiss Eddie? You wanted to, you always did. Almost every moment of every day you wished you could be kissing your best friend. “Does he want to, too?” 

“I-I don’t think the brat is gonna let us leave if we don’t.” You stated with a breathy chuckle, it felt like your heart was going to hammer right out of your chest.

“I don’t think so either.” He said, he took one of his hands out of his pockets and held one of yours. “But only if you’re okay with it sweetheart.”

“Yeah, I’m okay with it, Eds.” You said with a sweet smile. Eddie nodded his head with an equally sweet smile of his own. You leaned into each other, meeting in the middle. The kiss started tentatively, you both testing the waters, before your lips were molding together. You sighed into the kiss dreamily, unable to help yourself. You felt him smile against your lips, his sweet from the cupcake he had just eaten. Neither of you noticed that this kiss was going on much longer than a kiss between 2 friends forced into a kiss should, too lost in each other.

You broke apart when you heard someone clear their throat again. Both looking over at Dustin who was sitting with his arms crossed and a smug grin on his face. “I-uhm- better get that cupcake.” You said, feeling the heat rise to your face. You grabbed a cupcake and went to move towards the boy, you paused. “I uh, need to go to the bathroom before we go, I’ll meet you outside okay?” You said with a nervous smile. 

Eddie nodded his head, returning your smile. You walked over to Dustin and gave him the treat, “Here you go, you jerk.” 

“Thank you!” He chirped back cheerfully. 

You grabbed your backpack and made your way out of the room and down the hall. Once you made it to the bathroom you splashed some water on your face. You and Eddie just kissed. Really kissed. And he seemed to enjoy it just as much as you did, unless you were imagining that. Oh, how you hoped that you were right. But it felt like the kiss gave you confidence, you were going to do it. Tonight, you were going to tell Eddie how you feel. 

~

Eddie sauntered up to his friends as they cleaned up the decorations, a large smile on his face. “Was that your reason for this stupid party, Henderson?” He asked the freshman. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Munson.” Dustin with faux innocence. 

“Right, well, whether it was or not. I think tonight might be my night, gentlemen.” He smirked. “After I drop you losers off, we’re going back to my place to watch movies. I’m going to tell her everything.” Ever since that Thanksgiving night Eddie had been looking for the perfect time to tell you. But whenever he got close something stopped him, whether it be his own insecurities or issues with your grandmas health. But tonight felt different.

Eddie grabbed his DMing supplies and the last of the cupcakes before walking out of the room with the group and out to the parking lot to wait for you. “I think you earned these.” He said slyly, handing Dustin the container of sweets. 

As they waited, Eddie noticed that the cheerleaders seemed to be getting out of practice now as well, having had a late session before the break. He saw Chrissy Cunningham, she seemed to be having a tense conversation with her mother by their car. He watched as the girl seemed to shrink under her mothers words as her mother walked around the other side of the car, leaving the girl alone. ‘Wonder what that was about?”

You happened to walk up right then, watching as your crush stared at the most popular girl in your school. You felt the balloon of happiness that had been growing in you since the kiss start to deflate as insecurities flooded your mind. You could almost hear Mike’s voice ringing in your ears, “Yeah, they say he’s had a crush on her since the 8th grade or something.” All the confidence from before seeped out of your body suddenly. You felt foolish, and for the first time since meeting him, you felt like you needed some space from Eddie, not knowing if you could handle being around him feeling like this. 

“Hey.” You said, catching the mans attention. He turned to you with a bright smile. 

“Hey sweetheart, ready to go?” He asked.

“Uh, yeah. I’m sorry Eddie, I just remembered that my mom needs me to stay home tonight. Can you actually drop me off first please?” You asked, trying to sound as casual as you could. 

“Oh, uh, yeah doll. Sure.” He said, trying not to sound as disappointed as he felt. 

“Thanks, Eds.” You responded, before making your way towards Eddie’s van.

Eddie and the freshmen boys shared a look between them as you walked away, this wasn’t normal. They followed you to the metalheads van, you were walking fast like you were trying to get away from them. 

You reached the vehicle first, waiting by the passenger door. Eddie walked up and unlocked the door, offering his hand to help you in as he held it open for you, soft smile on his face. “Your carriage, princess.” 

“Thank you.” You said quietly, getting into your seat and closing the door, barely looking at the man. You were trying not to cry due to the embarrassment you were feeling. 

Eddie turned back to the freshmen standing by the back door, Dustin sent him a confused look, “What happened?” He mouthed. 

The dungeon master shrugged his shoulders as he walked over to let them in the van, unable to keep the worry from his face. Had he read everything wrong? He was sure you had enjoyed that kiss just as much as he did. And he thought that the way you reacted to it meant that you might like him back. 

His mind was racing as he started driving towards your house, the van was silent except for the mixtape you had made Eddie playing through the speakers. Eddie looked over at you every so often; you were slightly turned from him, looking out the window. He couldn’t even try to hold your hand like he normally does as you had them shoved in the pockets of your jacket. 

He couldn’t help the thoughts that flooded his mind. Maybe everything had been ruined with that kiss? Maybe you didn’t like him like he did and you were now trying to distance yourself? 

He tried to push them down, hoping you did actually have to help your mom. He stopped outside your house, “Want me to stop by afterwards, dolly?” He asked, hopeful. 

“Sorry, Eddie, not tonight. I think it’s going to be a late night for me. I’ll call you soon.” You answered, you looked up at him and shot him a small smile, missing the hurt in Eddie’s eyes. “Good night guys.” You addressed the van as you opened the door and hopped out, you then walked into your house without a second glance. 

Eddie sat there almost shell shocked. Not only was this one of the first nights you and Eddie would not be spending the night together in a month and a half, you also didn’t give him his goodbye kiss. Whenever the two of you parted you would give Eddie a large kiss on his cheek with a loud “MUAH”. You never left without doing it. 

“Eddie, what happened?” Dustin asked from the back.

“I don’t know.” He responded, confused, as he started driving the rest of them home. 

~Monday~

You were laying on your bed, staring up at the ceiling, lost in thought as the sound of whatever your mom was listening to while cleaning played through the house. It had been a few days since the party and you had been avoiding pretty much everyone. Dustin and Eddie both tried to call you over the weekend, trying to get you to spend time with them, but you just said that you were busy with preparing for Christmas with your family. You felt embarrassed, you figured out pretty early that Dustin planned that whole thing out. You knew he knew you had a crush on Eddie, so you tried not to blame him for trying to help you out. It’s not his fault that Eddie didn’t seem to share your feelings, but you still felt like a fool for hoping. 

You knew that you couldn’t avoid Eddie forever, he was coming to your place for Christmas in 2 days, but you needed time to get your feelings under control and you didn’t know if you could if you were around him. It was unfair to him, you knew, he didn’t do anything wrong. But the idea that him kissing you meant nothing to him while it meant so much to you was eating you alive. 

You got up, needing to do anything to occupy yourself before you drove yourself crazy, you looked around the room. Your eyes flitted to your belongings before landing on your easel in the corner. You sighed, walking up to the painting sitting in it, not quite done yet. It was your Christmas gift to Eddie. You had taken a picture of him at a Corroded Coffin show a couple weeks ago and after showing it to him he said it was the coolest photo anyone had taken of him, you had decided to recreate the picture in large painting for him. It wasn’t quite the distraction you were looking for, as it would be hard not to think about him while painting his likeness, but you only had 2 days until you were going to give it to the man so you needed to finish it.

You began painting after changing into your painting shirt and getting your supplies. Your mothers music could be heard through your open door, a song you knew she loved was playing, This Must Be the Place by The Talking Heads, you let your thoughts wander as you listened to the lyrics. 

“Home is where I want to be

Pick me up and turn me around

I feel numb, born with a weak heart

I guess I must be having fun”

A memory of you and Eddie going to the arcade for the first time came into your mind, the two of you laughing as Eddie tried and failed dramatically to beat your high score in pinball. 

“The less we say about it the better

Make it up as we go along

Feet on the ground, head in the sky

It's okay, I know nothing's wrong, nothing

Oh! I got plenty of time

Oh! You got light in your eyes

And you're standing here beside me

I love the passing of time

Never for money, always for love

Cover up and say goodnight, say goodnight”

You remembered that first time he spent the night, laughing during the movie, falling asleep holding hands. You had woken up the next morning in Eddies arms as he smiled down at you sleepily. “Morning dolly.” 

“Home, is where I want to be

But I guess I'm already there

I come home, she lifted up her wings

I guess that this must be the place”

You thought of every time you get to Eddie’s trailer after Corroded Coffin rehearsals, he would open the door almost as soon as you knocked, like he was waiting for you. “Welcome home sweetheart.” He would joke, pulling you into an embrace.

“I can't tell one from the other

Did I find you, or you find me?

There was a time before we were born

If someone asks, this is where I'll be, where I'll be oh!”

Images of Eddie dancing in your passenger seat on your first day meeting him flashed in your mind. 

“We drift in and out

Oh! Sing into my mouth

Out of all those kinds of people

You got a face with a view

I'm just an animal looking for a home and

Share the same space for a minute or two

And you love me till my heart stops

Love me till I'm dead

Eyes that light up

Eyes look through you

Cover up the blank spots

Hit me on the head I got ooh!”

The song faded out, leaving images of Eddie staying in your head. Somehow, you realized, during your time here, Hawkins hadn’t just become your home because it’s where you lived, it became your home because of Eddie. Eddie made this place feel like home, like you belonged here, with him. And you knew that hadn’t changed even after the kiss. You still belonged by Eddie’s side, even if it was not the way you wanted.

~

“Hi Robin. Steve.” You said as you walked into Family Video. It was hours later, you had finished your painting and now you were at the video store to find a distraction for the night. 

“Hey Y/N! No Eddie tonight?” Robin asked from the counter. 

“No, just me.” You said, trying to keep the conflicted emotions off of your face.

“Did something happen?” She asked, clearly sensing something was wrong, you saw her share a look with Steve who was stocking a shelf nearby.

You looked between the two of them, you hadn’t talked to anyone about what happened at the party and it was kind of eating at you. “Uhm, yeah actually.��� Steve stopped his task and walked over to the two of you at the counter, ready to listen. 

You told them about the party, how Dustin got you both to kiss, how it seemed like Eddie enjoyed it as much as you, and how you were going to confess your feelings, but that you saw him staring at Chrissy right after, and how hurt you felt after. “I know it’s silly and I’m over-reacting. All he did was look at her. But stupid Mike Wheeler got in my head.” 

“You haven’t talked to Eddie since?” Steve asked, leaned on the counter next to you.

“No, he and Dustin both called but I said I was busy.” You responded with a sigh. 

“I think you and Eddie need to talk about this.” Robin said gently, Steve nodded in agreement.

“And tell him what? ‘Sorry I freaked out, I’m crazy about you and I’m pretty sure you like another girl, let’s still be friends okay?’” You answered sarcastically, “Nah, I don’t think that will work.” 

“Obviously don’t say that.” Steve started. “But there has to be a reason Henderson got you to kiss each other, and I don’t think it’s just because you like Eddie.”

“What are you trying to say?” You asked.

“Just that maybe he was trying to help both of you.” He said with a shrug. 

You couldn’t hope to believe that was true, “I dunno.” You sighed again. “I’ll be seeing Eddie on Christmas so we’ll see what happens.” 

“Just think about what we said, okay?” Robin said, placing a comforting hand on yours. You nodded. 

You grabbed the movie you came to rent, and headed out the door. “See you later.” 

~

Dustin was exiting the arcade when he saw you pull out of your parking space and drive towards the direction of your home. He ran into the video store. “Steve, was Y/N just in here?” the boy practically yelled. 

“Hey Henderson, yeah, she was, why do you ask? Trying to get her to kiss another guy?” Steve said as he was back to stocking the shelves. 

“She told you about that?” The boy sighed.

“Yeah, she did.” Robin chimed in, “She’s really embarrassed.”

“Why?” Dustin asked, confused.

“We know you know she likes Eddie, but she thinks he likes Chrissy.” Steve answered honestly, he was getting tired of being involved in other people’s love lives.

“Chrissy? Why does she think that?” 

“Mike told her that he’s had a crush on her since middle school like her first week here.” Robin said, not seeing the harm since Steve already spilled. 

“And she saw him staring at her after they kissed.” Steve added. “Got in her head. She’s pretty certain that he doesn’t feel the same way as her.” 

“Son of a bitch!” Dustin exclaimed loudly, making his way out of the store.

“Hey where are you going?!” Steve called after him.

“To talk to Eddie!” Dustin shouted back on his way out of the door. 

He grabbed his bike off the rack out front of the arcade and peddled as fast as he could to the trailer park.

~

“EDDIE!” Dustin yelled as he banged on the door to the man’s trailer. “EDDIE!”

“What is it Henderson?” The metalhead asked as he opened the door, clearly annoyed.

“I know what happened now.” The boy said out of breath, shoving past the man into the room.

“Oh do you?” He said with a sigh, this was not the first time Dustin had tried to talk to him about what happened, though this was the first time he came all the way to the trailer. 

“I was at the arcade and I saw Y/N driving away. She was getting a video and I went to talk to Steve and Robin about it and they told me what she said.” The boy said sitting on the small couch. 

Eddie raised his eyebrows and sat next to his friend, leaning his elbows on his knees. “Do tell Henderson.”

“She likes you, that’s just a fact, but Mike opened his big mouth.” Dustin said.

“Wheeler? He didn’t even talk to her.” Eddie said, confused.

“Right. Not on Friday. Months ago, when she first moved here. Mike told her that you’ve had a thing for Chrissy since middle school.” Dustin said quickly, “Y/N saw you staring at her when she came out of the school, guess she thought you still liked Chrissy and got upset.”

“Jesus Christ. Thanks a lot Wheeler.” Eddie sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. “And you’re sure?”

“Positive.” The boy answered with a nod.

“Okay, get out.” 

“What?” Dustin asked, eyebrows furrowed. 

“I need you to get out, I’m going to go tell that girl everything.” Eddie smiled at his friend as he stood up and walked to his room. He came back out a moment later holding a wrapped package.

“You’re going to tell her? Right now?” Dustin’s eyes were wide and he had a bright smile. 

“Yep, as soon as you get out of my house.” The metalhead said as he opened the door and gestured for the boy to go, smirk on his face. Dustin hurried out of the door and grabbed his bike. 

“Good luck man.” Dustin said as he sat on his bike. 

“Hopefully I don’t need luck.” Eddie said as he opened the door to his van. “And Dustin?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.” He said with a fond smile, he and the boy shared a nod before Eddie got in his van and drove away.

~

You were in your room sitting up against your headboard and watching Ghostbusters again, you and Eddie had rented and watched this movie so many times that you had practically memorized it by now. You heard someone knock on your front door and listened to your father say that he would get it. A few moments later there was a knock at your door. “Y/N?” You heard Eddie’s voice from the other side. “Can I come in?”

You felt your eyes go wide and your heart thunder in your chest. What was he doing here? “Shit.”

“Uhm, sure Eddie.” You said anxiously. The door opened and Eddie walked in with a nervous smile. 

“Hey sweetheart.” He said as he walked over to you, you brought your legs up and sat crossed legged as Eddie sat on the bed in front of you. 

“Hey Eds.” You said quietly. “What are you doing here?”

“You’ve been avoiding me.” He said, reaching out and grabbing one of your hands. “I think I know why.”

“What do you mean?” You asked, your pulse felt impossibly quick as you met his eyes. 

“I don’t like Chrissy.” He said bluntly, not wanting to beat around the bush. He saw your eyes go wide.

“What?” 

“I know you saw me looking at her on Friday after we kissed. I don’t like her like that, doll.” Eddie answered, squeezing your hand. “I mean, I used to. But that stopped like 3 years ago. And it was just because she was one of the only girls who was nice to me. I was looking at her because she got into a fight with her mom.” He chuckled before taking a deep breath.

“Now or never Munson.”

“Dolly, I’m crazy about you.” He confessed.

“What?” You said breathlessly, your eyes felt bigger than they've ever been. Certainly, you didn’t hear him right.

“I said, I’m crazy about you.” Eddie repeated with a smile. “And from what I’ve heard you feel the same way about me.” He said, lightly teasing. 

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You felt a large smile grow on your face, “I’m absolutely crazy about you, Eddie Munson.” 

Eddie beamed at you, the largest one you had ever seen on him. “Come here babydoll.” He tugged on your hand and pulled you to him, sitting you in his lap. “Can I kiss you again, beautiful?” 

You nodded your head, “Please?” 

He wrapped one of his arms around your waist, pulling you against him, as the other went to cup the side of your face. You felt his thumb rub the apple of your cheek as he gazed into your eyes. You wrapped your arms around his neck and suddenly his lips were on yours. The tentativeness that you had with your first kiss was not here this time as you kissed each other almost desperately. You both could feel the other smile as you did, neither believing that you were finally here. You only broke away when your lungs were screaming for air, lips swollen and pink.

“Will you be mine, sweetheart?” Eddie asked in between the kisses he started leaving on your neck.  

“If you're mine, Eds.” You answered breathlessly. You beamed as you felt him nod. “Perfect.” 

After a few minutes of breathless giggles in between hungry kisses, you pulled away from Eddie, his lips chasing yours. “I have your Christmas present if you don’t mind it early?” You said sweetly as you rested your forehead on his. 

“I have yours too.” He said with a smile. You got up off of Eddie’s lap and walked to your easel and picked up the painting you finished earlier. 

“It’s still a little wet so don’t touch it okay?” You said, earning a nod from the man. You turned it around and watched his expression, worried. 

Eddie’s eyebrows raised and you saw a large, awed, smile break on his face. “Baby, it’s amazing.” He said, it looked exactly like the picture you had taken, a level of detail neither of you knew you could do. 

“I had a good subject.” You flushed, you saw Eddie beam at the compliment.

“Thank you dolly, I feel like a real rockstar. I can’t wait to hang it up.” He said genuinely. You put the painting back so it could finish drying and when you got back to Eddie he pulled you into his lap again. He grabbed the package he brought and gave it to you. It was soft and haphazardly wrapped. You tore open the wrapping and pulled out a jean vest, much like Eddie’s. It had patches and pins of your favorite bands all over the front, and on the back was the same style of Led Zeppelin shirt you were wearing the day you met. 

“Oh Eddie, thank you so much. I love it. How did you find the Zeppelin shirt for this?” You asked excitedly, a large smile on your face. 

“Your dad helped me.” He said, returning your smile. You noticed a small flock of bats on the front right side, it looked like Eddie’s tattoos, hand painted.

“Did you paint these?” You asked surprised, pointing to the bats. 

“Yeah, took me forever, I wanted to get them right and they’re all upside down and shit for me so it was hard.” He laughed nervously, “I-uh- just wanted you to have me close, so you don’t forget about me you know?”

“I’d never be able to forget about you Eddie Munson.” You giggled, crashing your lips on his in another smiley kiss. 

Taglist: @dallysnecklace @beepisbeep  @natashaashleymarvelromanoff

[hillbillyoracle]

I’m getting burnt out of Agnostic and Atheist voices being some of the loudest in damn near every spirituality space I’m in. Especially when those voices conflate hard materialism with intelligence and the ability to consider things carefully and thoughtfully. I’ve been seeing it in Buddhist circles for ages and it’s becoming more and more of a thing in the Pagan circles I’m in too. 

It’s also frustrating when those voices position themselves as especially oppressed within already oppressed and minority religions. If you’re a materialist who chooses to engage in a spiritual religion or space, some tolerance and acceptance for the spiritual would not only be polite but essential. Coming into spiritual spaces, demanding space and consideration, and being dismissive of spiritual experiences is uh...certainly a choice. 

To me it really seems like walking into a burger joint and demanding a perfect curry, like that’s not what this place is for and there are places that already do that. Go there instead. Like even if you get back in the kitchen and try to make one yourself you’re going to be missing some key ingredients and tools so like...it’s never going to compare to what you could just get from a place that actually is made for that. Then to sit in the lobby and get mad when people come in and order burgers - it’s just...very weird. But idk. Do you I guess. 

I miss being in Pagan spaces where I didn’t have to clarify that yes I do actually believe tarot cards can predict the future and communicate with spirits and no I’m not just doing it for self reflection. Yes, I’ve had direct and vivid experiences with people who’ve died and spirits. I miss when more of the Buddhist spaces I frequented didn’t have “Do Buddhists actually believe in ghosts and hell? I can’t believe in a religion that actually thinks those are real!” threads like every damn day. 

This is absolutely no shade at any of my agnostic and atheist friends. I would not be following y’all if y’all were the problem. If you’re about to comment “Well I don’t...” then this isn’t about you. Chill. 

It’s about a specific current of those voices that I keep seeing crop up time and time again that’s just really making it difficult to find community spaces I can relax in. I’m fucking tired of being in a spiritual space then having to keep coming across posts/threads that are basically “I’m much smarter for not believing in the supernatural and you all need to grow out of these fairy tales.” 

I was going through some of my posts I’ve written over the last couple years and I saw how I’ve been so hesitant to talk actual spiritual experiences because the crowd that isn’t actively ignoring health/science tend to be loudly secular and can often be dismissive. And I know those are the circles where a lot of my stuff tends to float in outside of my immediate one and I’ve gotten some very weird comments on posts that are even vaguely certain of spiritual concepts. So it’s a little stifling at times. 

I’m thankful for some of the people I’ve cultivated in on my feed and in forums I frequent who are either spiritual themselves or very chill with spiritual beliefs even if they don’t have them. But any time I leave that little bubble of folks - damn. It’s very tiring. 

[rowanwiccae]

Spirit Work- How Do I Do It?

A quick disclaimer: I am not an atheist, I am agnostic. I am not opposed to anyone who works with gods/deities, nor do I have any issue with learning about deities along the way. I am just personally not someone who worships or works with deities and am not looking to do so at this time. THAT SAID: I am looking for sources on spirit work in witchcraft. Specifically I am interested in learning how to work with spirits, nature spirits, paranormal spirits, dead spirits, what have you; any/all spirits that aren’t deities (i.e. Cernunnos, Artemis, the Morrigan, Thor, etc. though they are nature based deities, aren’t really ‘spirits’ in this regard, if that makes sense). I am looking for related subjects involving traditional forms of witchcraft, folk magic, brujeria, basically non-wiccan witchcraft that helps in establishing a practice/system involving spirits rather than deities. Sources from any/all cultures, backgrounds are welcome sources (those that are okay with sharing their information. I am simply in the research and study process, I don’t plan on taking someone’s personal notes and rushing into the woods to try it out. I am looking to see what works for me, what suits my lifestyle and what will accept me in return) If you have questions or want/need me to clarify further about what I’m looking for, msg/reblog and lemme know. I’m happy to start a dialogue. I’m new to this subject but I feel it is an important step for me and would like to ask the community what they would recommend before just picking random books with generic information.) If all that is available to you happens to be Wiccan or has wiccan influence, I will respectfully accept those sources as well. While I am looking for something other than wicca, I am not entirely opposed to exploring all perspectives and a start in one place may lead to another down the line. So just send them all mah way, please!!

Thanks for taking the time to share, Witchy Community~

[bumblebee-moreno]

LGBT EDUCATION EVENT

I posted a bit ago to see who might be interested in an event for anyone to ask me any question they want about my LGBT identities, or the LGBT community in general, and there seemed to be quite a bit of interest, so here we are!

Event goes from midnight to midnight March 30 (starts in 5 minutes, lasts for the full 24 hours).

For those of you who don’t know me (you can skip this part if you already know who I am):

My name is Bumblebee, but you can call me Bee. I am white and use he/they pronouns. I am FTM nonbinary, queer, demisexual, and polyamorous. I work part-time at a non-profit targeted towards trans youth. At the non-profit, I moderate our 24/7 chat (I’m not the only moderator, don’t worry, I do sleep), am a facilitator for our middle school support group (When one of our high school facilitators cannot make it, I also step into that group occasionally). I also help create and present workshops (We are currently in the process of creating a presentation for Microsoft). My other job is as a receptionist for a Veterinary Clinic. (For safety reasons, I will not be sharing which nonprofit I work at, or which veterinary clinic I work at. If, for some reason you find out where I work, please keep this information to yourself). I was diagnosed with ADHD in February, and was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder two years ago. I have lived in the USA my whole life, and was raised in a non-religious household. My extended family is mostly Christian, with a few relatives who are Norse Pagan (we are originally from Norway). I am agnostic.

The purpose of this event:

Education. That’s literally it. I’ve noticed a lot of misconceptions about the LGBT community, and want to combat that with a good ol’ fashioned Q&A.

Here are a few rules before we start:

(I do have a TL/DR at the bottom, but if you have the time, I encourage you to read the full thing)

- This is a safe space.

This means a few things: You can ask any question you like and I will not be offended. Nothing is to be taken personally, it will always be assumed that you are trying to learn, unless you’ve clearly proven otherwise. If you’re hurt by something someone (including myself) has said, you’re free and encouraged to say something about it. All identities are welcome. Everything will be tagged with appropriate content warnings (If I don't tag something you need tagged, let me know and I will happily tag it!)

- Who can participate:

Anyone wanting to learn about anything LGBT, including but not limited to:

Cisgender/heterosexual people who want to become better allies, Writers who want to learn how to be more inclusive, People questioning their gender/sexuality, literally anyone prepared to be respectful to anyone else participating

(I do want to note: this event is open to NSFW conversations. If you are uncomfortable with this, please filter the tag “adult conversations”.)

- Any question is okay to ask.

This is a space for everyone to learn, regardless of their prior knowledge. I will never get offended by a question. I will not be offended by the phrasing of a question. If I am not comfortable answering something, I will explain why, but I will not be annoyed. Part of learning is making mistakes, and I want to be courteous to that.

I am super open, so I will answer almost every question, regardless of how personal it is, with a few exceptions (see the “my boundaries” point.

Yes, this means you can ask questions that you’ve been previously told never to ask. I want to clarify though: I will make it clear when a question is inappropriate to ask in normal circumstances. Since I am telling you beforehand that it’s okay to ask personal or private questions, it is acceptable to do so in this context. However, I will always add a note explaining why you shouldn’t ask people this in other circumstances so that it’s still clear which questions I am making exceptions for.

- My boundaries

I’m not going to share identifying information. That includes: My legal name, where I live, where I work, photos of myself, etc.

I’m not going to share my deadname either, though I am willing to have conversations about deadnames themselves.

I’m not going to share what my plans for bottom surgery are. I am fine to talk about bottom surgery itself, I am fine to share where I’m at right now, and have next to no boundaries about top surgery. But I’m not going to share what my plans for whether or not I’m getting bottom surgery are.

I’ve worked as a receptionist and trans advocate for long enough that I take nothing personally. Because of this, I ask that if you need to get upset or aggressive about something related to this event, please come to me directly instead of attacking a participant. I’d rather you send me hate than sending it to someone who is trying to use this safe space as a learning opportunity. This includes if you’re frustrated with a participant. I’m happy to facilitate a healthy conversation about a disagreement, but I will not tolerate anyone attacking others.

- Hate will be blocked.

When you’re talking directly to me, I’m going to assume you’re well-intentioned. HOWEVER. If you’re directly attacking others who are involved in the conversation, you will be blocked. If you have a problem, please come to me and I will work to resolve it. Sending hate to people other than myself is in violation of the safe space.

- My intention is never to speak over anyone

I don’t know everything about every identity. As a white person, I experience white privilege. As someone who passes as male about 80% of the time, I experience male privilege. I am able-bodied. I try my very best to educate myself, but I am still learning (and always will be).

If I speak on an identity that is not my own, I will always add a note to clarify this. I will only be speaking from the stories shared with me by people who have that identity, and from the additional research I have done.

MY WORDS ARE NEVER THE ONLY TRUTH. I cannot say this enough. Don’t take my words over those of someone who uses a specific label. Even if I also use that label. Everyone experiences the world differently. My words are a STARTING POINT. Please be aware that other opinions and experiences exist. I will try my best to have resources paired with every conversation so you can further your learning, but please be aware that I cannot teach you everything.

If I don’t know the answer, I will do research as well as provide you with sources.

- No question will go unanswered

Yes, this includes questions that come across as “disrespectful”. I have said this already, but I will always assume good intentions unless it’s proven that you’re coming from a place of malice. If a question is phrased in a way that comes across as harmful in any way, I will still answer it AND explain why you should ask it differently in the future or not ask it at all going forward.

If I don’t respond within 2 hours, please message me again: I either didn’t receive it or I am still writing my response. I don’t want to miss anyone just because you think I’m ignoring you, I promise I’m not.

The ONLY time I won’t answer a question is if you’ve made it clear that you’re only here to attack the people using this safe space (I will have already asked you to leave).

- If something upsets you, don’t ignore it.

If you’re hurt by something I, or someone else said, please let me know. My intentions are never to hurt or upset anyone.

You can disagree with people, including me, as long as you’re polite about it.

If you need me to talk to someone for you, I’m happy to do so. If you want a private conversation with me, my DMs are open. If you want to stay anonymous but don’t want your questions posted, use this 🌙 emoji (or just say so), and I’ll make a post trying my best to answer your question without sharing the contents of the ask itself.

I don’t expect you to educate me as to why you’re upset by something: that’s not your responsibility, I can educate myself. I do appreciate anyone willing to talk about differing views or why something upset them, but that is not the purpose of the event and you are under no obligation to educate anyone else. I will do my research the moment someone says something bothered them.

- Please don’t weaponise my words.

Please don’t use anything said here as a way to attack people. This event is to educate people. I hope there’s nothing said here that can be manipulated to hurt people, but I didn’t want to leave this unsaid; the point of this isn’t to attack people who are uneducated, it’s to help educate them.

- Most importantly: Please come into this with a desire to learn

This event won’t be helpful if you’re determined to not learn anything. The purpose of this is to ask questions and learn something. I can’t decide for you that you want to learn. I can’t force you to learn. You have to be willing, or this may seem very pointless to you. I’m not trying to change opinions or beliefs, I’m just trying to spread a little education. If you’re unable to take my words and really think about them, this may not be the space for you, but that’s up to you to decide.

Any topic is okay!

This includes (but isn’t limited to):

- Writing LGBT characters (such as how to incorporate same-sex representation without fetishizing gay people, writing for gender-neutral or non-female readers, making content trans-friendly, etc.)

- What to do when someone you care about comes out

- Coming out

- Transition-related questions (HRT, surgery, binding/tucking, deadnames, etc.)

- Defining terms or labels you’re unfamiliar with

- Working out your feelings about something (such as something you saw in media and need to talk to someone about)

- Various laws (questions about laws may take up to 3 hours to answer, as I would have to research your particular area, depending on the question)

- Literally any other question you can think of that has to do with the LGBT community in any way, these are just some ideas off the top of my head to get y’all started.

TL;DR: This space is open to anyone, any topic, any question just please be open-minded and respectful!

(Just like my first post, I’m including tags for the Pedro fandom because I’ve seen a lot of issues within that community, but this is open to anyone that wants to participate, regardless of what interests you have.)

@phoenixhalliwell

[will-o-the-witch]

Agnostic/Atheist anon from earlier! Thank you, again, for taking the time to read and respond.

I promise there is a question in here but I’d like to give a little context since I was purposefully vague with my request. (I didn’t want to be specific in case you were not feeling up to talking about antisemitism and I want to be respectful of that)

I was raised/live in “the South” in the US and it’s overflowing with g-d stuff. With that said, I have plenty of personal beef growing up with xianity. So most of the atheist/agnostic folks I know are ex xians. I’ve noticed a lot of the atheist/agnostic youtubers and in general American atheists/agnostics tend to lump major religions together as having “the same bad qualities”. That often times leads to antisemitic and islamophobic commentary because of the misinformation fed to them by their xian upbringing/culture. It deeply bothers me. But I can’t always pick up on the subtle misinformation or remarks.

I may have some problems with xianity but, to me, that has no bearing on my feelings about Judaism and Islam. I don’t know if there is anything beyond the here and now. Sometimes I’m hopeful there might be and other times I’m certain there isn’t. None of those thoughts or feelings should make a person be hateful to an already oppressed, marginalized group(s).

All of that to ask: how would you advise someone like me to learn more about Judaism so that I can recognize and combat antisemitism?

Hey there fellow Southerner! I’m in the Bible belt so I definitely feel you on xian stuff being EVERYWHERE lol. Where I’m from we have a joke that goes “If you want to get somebody lost, tell them to take a left at the church.” Most of our landmark directions go “Drive past the Methodist church and then take a right at the Baptist Church....” You’ve already done a big part of the work it seems, which is recognising that Judaism and Islam aren’t Christianity and that other religions exist as their own entities outside of however Christianity views them. I definitely recommend myjewishlearning.com, because it has a lot of stuff covered in short, easy to understand articles that will definitely help you get a bearing on some basics. 

I also recommend looking into more than just what Jews believe and shaking off the cultural christian lense when you catch it, because 1) Judaism isn’t a monolith in belief and 2) Judaism is more of an orthopraxy than an orthodoxy. This means that “correct” actions and rituals are generally much more valued than having the exact “correct” belief behind it. I mention this because if someone were to say, study Jewish theology though a culturally christian lense, which focuses heavily on orthodoxy with a touch of biblical literalism, they will likely come out with a VERY different view of what Jewish people think/do than what we actually think/do. So it may help to look up some of the more common rituals, like honoring Shabbos and what goes into it/why, or looking at how Jewish people actually relate to the text (or wrestle with it, as we often do) instead of assuming we take the more problematic elements of it at face value.  I hope that all makes sense! Let me know if you need me to clarify anything. :)

[slowbutavidlearner]

Hi, so I have a question that I'm hoping Native Americans and or Indigenous people could answer for me or rather, I'd like to hear their thoughts.

To get to my "question", I kinda have to lay down a bit of info. I'm pretty white, and the majority of my family is too. Ever since I was little though, my parents told me and my brother that we have Native American ancestors and how we were a percentage Native. (Let it be known they constantly use the terms Indian for referring to Native American tribes. I grew up in Indiana, my school was the "Indians", I dont think that's their logic behind it or whatever, they tell me "it's cause that what they called it back then", but I continue to correct them when they slip. So I'll also be using the tribe name or Native American terms rather than what they actually said, but I thought it was important to clarify that that's not the terms they used for the most part.) So initially, when I was younger my mother would tell me I had Cherokee on her side of the family, and possible Blackfoot ancestors on my dads side. We had one real piece of proof of that being my great-great-great grandmother was fully blooded Cherokee. And that was sort of it. It's not like we participated in Native events other then going to a couple local pow wows, and being interested in native culture whenever we saw it in person. It's not like we had any traditions passed down that we did or anything, and as much I felt "connected" to Native culture or at least the very little repsented I saw in media and the misuse of Native symbols, that being my school being labeled the Indians and the high school the Arrows etc; I never actually felt like I was or could be a part of the community regardless of what percentage I was.

Cut to 2021, my mother is still avid on claiming Cherokee rather than Caucasian. My parents do have slight Native features, in their bone structure and genetics. They both have very dark hair, like the darkest brown it's ALMOST black ya know? They're tanner than my brother and I, but they also spend way more time outside then us and my mom actually tans almost every day (I've told her the issues with this, she does not seem to feel the same way) But they're still pretty pretty white ya know?

Above all, my mom goes on Ancestry.com to look for relatives and complies work and checks with relatives to see if she's connecting the right people. (I'll at least give her that she works pretty hard on it to make it accurate) and it seems like we actually have more Native's in the family from a lot of different tribes on both sides of my parents family's. This in turn would mean I'm more than 1/16th or whatever I was told when I was younger.

My mom has also had the conversation with her mother, who had apparently been told to keep quiet about the fact we have Native in our bloodline. Saying that the Native ancestors in our family were brought into white family's and were told to take white names and blend in, abandoning everything about their culture because of the government forced them too.

Now my mom goes into these long rants, and she's not always wrong but how she words things and how she chooses to view things..doesn't always sound right. She was also a Trump supporter and for "All Lives Matter" not BLM. So.. one who hasn't lived with her may consider her a Karen, and quite honestly she could fit the title. I do think she means well, but she was also raised as she was, a white cis woman with protestant ideals.

Getting slightly off topic but I feel it's important to note, I'm an Agender, Aro/Ace person with Agnostic ideals who did not support Trump(will never support that man), have worked on being a better supporter and ally to BLM, API, and of course Native and Indgionous Peoples.

Now I'm not trying to claim any title for any reason. I genuinely only want to reconnect with parts of my ancestry and if that means to some or any degree I'm Native, I would be honored to reclaim the title for my ancestors who had to hide theirs. It feels wrong to say "reclaim" cause very honestly I have lived my life as a Caucasian, so to even hint at sounds like I'm forcing it, sort of how my mother is, and that's the last thing I want to do.

After all that, my question is it all right to say I'm a Caucasian with Native ancestry? Would that be the proper way of describing it? I've never actually seen anyone in my "position" If you could even call it that, ask these things. So in 4 am rant I've decided to finally ask what's been on my mind for years. 😅 I hope nothing comes across wrong, and If it does please let me know. I'm not above being wrong or told to be held accountable and I'm not trying to be a part of joining as some trend or finding an "excuse" for anything. I've just always felt drawn to the people and their culture in my family and unfortunately can't ask them their thoughts on it.

[ocegion]

For the character meme, obviously: Nicky & Joe 😘

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!! thanks so much for the ask I immensely appreciate it!!!! <3<3<3<3<3<3

(also I went FAR OVERBOARD with this, I speak far too much when given the chance. Sorryyyyyyyyyy)

Joe:

First impression: Well, if it isn’t hot-but-dull Jafar. I know he’s gay in this one so that’s a plus point, but I’m not holding out much hope. He looks extra cute and fuzzy here though, that’s neat. (I want to clarify that I formally apologize to Mr Marwan Kenzari for having ever thought he couldn’t act, shame on me).

Impression now: *sobbing* He’s so GOOD and he’s so SOFT. He’s so full of love and passion and he can barely keep it inside and I’m honestly overwhelmed by how much I love this guy. Like, he’s so full of emotion and it’s so clear in his face at any given moment and that’s no weakness, that’s his strength and I just. Ugh. It’s so refreshing and great. Love is stored in the Joe. I wish real life had people like him.

Favorite moment: okay so it’s hard to decide because all his moments are great, but I’m going to go with the moment in which he waits for Nicky to wake up after Keane shoots him. You can see how he can barely keep inside the fear and panic he has when Nicky isn’t waking up, and then, when he does, Joe takes a moment to look aside and exhale before grasping him. Like he physically needed to let it out. I’m not sure if I’m explaining myself properly, but those couple seconds of body language fascinate me.

Unpopular opinion: It is entirely possible that it shows up in some secondary material that I just haven’t seen, in which case I’m dumb and I’m sorry for this, but I don’t think Joe is necessarily a poet? Like don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the idea of poet Joe and I do think he probably has an easier time around words than the rest of the Guard, but I’m not too sure where the idea came from? I think his speech in the ban comes out of the pure, raw love he has for Nicky more than any formal education he might have had about any of it. He’s just that passionate. I mean, not that I think it’s wrong of anything. I just think canon doesn’t give any indication at all about it. (plus comic Joe said something along the lines of ‘brewing the stew of love’ which is the most hilariously unpoetical thing ever lmao).

Favorite relationship: uuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh is it cheating to say Nicky? I’m gonna go with Nicky. I could go on for quite a while about his relationship with Nicky and I’m gonna spare us all having to go through that but I will say that as long as Joe and Nicky are alive the concept of romance just simply cannot die. They singlehandedly keep it alive and flourishing. 100000/10 best love story ever, I accept no criticism.

Favorite headcanon: Joe is a man who is, at any given moment, 110% in control of his own emotions. Like, he’s a emotionally driven man, no doubt about that, but he’s not impulsive in the least. When he was shouting at Booker, it wasn’t impulsive, he was angry as hell and decided to let him know. Then during the escape he shut it off and didn’t let it get in the way of cooperation, then let it out again. It’s like he has a valve on his own emotions that he willingly manipitales when he deems it right. He is very aware of his own emotions and just refuses to repress it for things like, pretending that what Booker did wasn’t that big of a deal, dude knows he’s entitled to be upset about it. Most emotionally mature and stable man on Earth.

Nicky:

First impression: I thought he looked soft and also sort of awkward-looking, but in a good way if that makes sense? tbh I expected him to be a nice character that didn’t get that much depth because he’d stay in the sidelines and only have a handful surface traits.

Impression now: I LOVE how hard it is to pin Nicky down as just this or that part of his personality, the way fandom usually does with characters. He’s soft and kind, but he will stay his ground and not let anyone walk over him. He believes in doing good as the purpose of his life, but he won’t hesitate to commit murder (Gotta wonder how exactly his moral code works). He’s warm and welcoming, but also sort of reserved and not saying much about himself. If you try to shove Nicky into any of the usual fandom archetypes, you’re missing at least half of his character.

Favorite moment: As with Joe, I have a hard time picking up just one single moment, bit I’ll go with the moment he brings up Malta. His whole demeanor while in the lab is fascinating, but I think it’s that particular moment that probably defines Nicky best. They’re in a very though and uncertain situation, and he brings up a fond memory to raise spirits, his own but mostly Joe’s. Idk, I feel like it shows that a) he’s very aware of how other people are feeling/thinking and wants to make it better, and b) he has, at his core, hope (in this specific situation, hope that they’ll make it out, but it relates to his belief that they have a purpose).

Unpopular opinion: I tbh don’t think that time in Malta was a sex thing at all. I in general don’t read them as a particularly sexual couple, but even if they were, I doubt a sex vacation, of any kind, would be something that stands out that much in a relationship this long. Whatever Malta was, it’s a secret between them and I honestly like that.

Favorite relationship: See, this is why I felt like saying Joe’s favorite relationship was Nicky felt like cheating. Because I’m going to answer the exact same thing. I mean, is there any other option, really. Really. The answer is no and we all know it. Anyway. Joe and Nicky lucked out in Immortal roulette and tbh who can blame Booker for being a little bit bitter about it. Anyone would be jealous of such PERFECTION.

Favorite headcanon: Nicky is the most spiritual member of the Guard (Nile is probably on par with him or even more, but she probably has a few years of faith crisis ahead of her). He has a solid belief in purpose and goodness which is much more firm than his original sense of faith, after centuries of questioning it. I also think that while he probably still maintains a somewhat christian view on faith, the years have eroded away specific religions from it. He’s sort of agnostic, but not in a ‘I don’t know if there’s a higher power’ way, but in a ‘I know there’s a higher power, but I don’t care what name it has’ way.

Both

Idea for a story: Okay I’m doing this one like this because it’s literally the same answer for both lmao. Excluding pieces of character exploration and missing scenes and stuff, I’ve got a fic (on semi-hiatus until I finish my exams) about ‘what if instead of speedrun enemy to lovers, they were DUMB and spent like 400 years pining for each other and not seeing the other is in love too’. I’m also lowkey thinking up a Dragon Age AU, which is more of an entire-cast thing that just these two, but of course their storylines in it go inherently together. It’s probably too big a project for me actually carry out lmao. But it’s there in my mind, I have backstories and character classes and everything in the works. Maybe someday.

[captainscanadian]

Love Me Blue | Bucky Barnes x Reader (Janmashtami)

My Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Summary: When you were younger, you had always dreamed of falling in love with someone who would love you like Lord Krishna loved Radha. A dream that once felt as though it was silly no longer felt that way. 

Word Count: 4400+

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Tamilian!Hindu!Reader

Warnings: MINIMAL TAMIL SONG LYRICS (I’m more than happy to translate!) & TAMIL CULTURE, References to Hinduism, PTSD, Insomnia, Endgame References.

A/N: This is my entry for @bucky-smiles​‘s 3K Diversity Writing Challenge! My prompt was to write a fic with a Hindu reader. I decided to write this fic with a Tamilian reader because I am Tamilian. I was born in Sri Lanka and my mother’s side of the family are Hindu. Although I consider myself an agnostic theist, I do enjoy reading the epics of Mahabharata and Ramayana. I hope everyone had a wonderful Janmashtami. Along with Lord Krishna himself, it’s also @jalapenobarnes​‘ birthday this weekend so please go shower Saran with all the love. This one’s for you, my chellam! <3 Pics are off of Pinterest! 

Bucky Barnes watched curiously as he sat cross-legged on the tiled floor of your living quarters, splashing a handful of water on the bright green banana leaf that you had laid out in front of him. 

Even though your apartment had a designated dining room with an oak wood table and chairs, he wondered why you preferred to be eating on the living room floor. Not to mention the way you had chosen to serve him on a banana leaf than a plate. 

As much as he found it bizarre, he was also curious about the traditions that you seemed to follow. Not just through the way you ate your meals, but also the way you honored your dead best friend and the way you had filled your apartment with idols and paintings of your Hindu God. It came as a surprise to him that someone as young and well-educated as yourself could even hold onto the traditions that you had been raised with despite having settled away from your home for years. 

Bucky had been surprised to find that as the decades had progressed, traditions had evolved with the emergence of a post-modern society. The way people had practiced religion had also evolved with time, but the way you practiced yours seemed to be the same as the way his own mother had practiced hers back in the day. 

You did not conform to modern life for the sake of it, and he found that inspiring. The old Bucky who had always been fascinated by all that science had to offer would probably disagree with you. But having lived a whole century as one of HYDRA’s science experiments made him wish that he could return to the pre-modern society that he had been born into. He hated confirming with the status quo as much as the next guy, but seeing you made him realize that he did not need to force himself to confirm either. He could be himself, as long as he could figure out who exactly he was meant to be. 

“According to my grandmother, eating off of a banana leaf is a lot more healthier than eating off of a plate. Apparently the nutrients in the leaf can mix with the food.” You explained to him as you served him some of the rice, careful not to overcrowd the banana leaf. You knew that he was unfamiliar with the dishes, but also appreciated that he was willing to try out a new cuisine at this witching hour. “She said that it’s good for the immune system, prevents intestinal ulcers, skin diseases… soothes the stomach, helps with digestion and prevents kidney stones.” 

He nodded, understandably. “Right…” He agreed, not having the heart to tell you that the super soldier serum in his body ensured that his cells would constantly regenerate and prevent him from falling ill. Nevertheless, he found your endearment quite refreshing. You really did treat him like he was Sergeant James Barnes of the 107th and not the Winter Soldier, and he was grateful for that. 

“We’re used to eating off of the leaf during special occasions or when we have guests.” You added. “There’s a Buddhist and Hindu philosophy... Atithi Devo Bhava. It literally means that the guests must be given the same respect as you would give to your Gods. And since you’re my guest tonight, you get the banana leaf.” 

“I’m no God, Y/N.” Bucky clarified, sighing as he ran his metal hand through his greasy hair. “I’m a human being, a brainwashed assassin, a weapon of destruction who brought so much pain in people’s lives. I don’t deserve to be treated with so much respect.” 

“Bucky…” You frowned at his words before shaking your head. “As the one who spent most of my life studying the life of Sergeant James Barnes of the 107th, I beg to differ. I know that you have a lot of internalized guilt about those days and I don’t blame you for that. But you can’t let the Winter Soldier define who you are. You’re more than who you used to be when you were brainwashed. It wasn’t who you were.” 

“To be honest, I don’t even think I know who I am anymore…” He admitted, a truth that he hadn’t told anyone else at the compound but felt that he could trust you with.. “But I know for sure that I don’t deserve to be respected like you respect your God.” 

“You should let me be the judge of that. My concept of God is actually quite different from the Abrahamic religions that you happen to be familiar with.” You protested with a soft chuckle, crossing your legs to sit across from him. “My grandmother once told me that Lord Krishna… being the God of love and compassion, he’s always present in one’s heart. Wherever there’s love, he’s always there. If there’s love in your heart, he’s there. And that makes you just as Godly as anyone else.”  

“I’m the world’s longest prisoner of war who spent most of my life imprisoned in a cryofreezer. There’s nothing Godly about the life that I’ve had to live.” He shook his head. “If anything, I’m a symbol of pain and suffering.” 

“Well, Lord Krishna was born in prison.” You remarked. “His life was meant to be filled with so much love… It started on Janmashtami, in a prison cell where his parents were locked up by his own maternal uncle. Even in all that pain and suffering, the betrayal that Lord Krishna’s parents had to face… they were blessed with a child who was the incarnate of the supreme God himself. All that pain and suffering led to some kind of reward, and I’m sure you’ll get yours in due time. Sri Krishna never discriminates, and he forgives those who are truly remorseful of their sins. He’s the God of compassion after all.” 

Bucky could not help but chuckle softly at your words. For every word of self-hatred that came out of his mouth, you had your own rebuttal that was rooted in your faith. He was left with no choice but to accept his defeat and give in to being treated as your guest for the night. It was the least he could do other than make use of that computer he had been given to catch up with the world by looking up Lord Krishna. “So, what’s on the menu for tonight?”

“Okay!” You exclaimed, pointing to the rice dish that you had placed in the center of the leaf. “Ven pongal, basically made from rice and yellow lentils. It’s also got some peppercorns, cumin, turmeric, ginger, curry leaves and cashews that I fried in some clarified butter. That’s why it smells so good. Don’t worry about the spices though. This is probably the mildest dish I’ve ever eaten in my life.” 

Bucky nodded as he looked up at you. “Do you make this often?”

“It’s a traditional breakfast food in South India, but it also makes for the ultimate comfort food when I’m missing home.” You replied with a shrug of your shoulders before grabbing the bowl of sambar and pouring it over the rice. “Now this might be a little spicy for you. But it’s the side dish of all side dishes. Sambar, basically a mixed vegetable stew with lentils and spices. Great with most South Indian breakfast foods.” 

“And what about the rest?” He asked as he eyed the remainder of the delicacies that you had laid out before him. He could not deny that the warm aroma that wafted up his nostrils made them much more appetizing. Despite it being past midnight, he was starved. 

“Medhu vada… deep fried lentil fritters, coconut chutney to dip ‘em in… and kesari, dessert made from semolina.” You pointed to the items as you placed them on the banana leaf. “I hope you don’t mind eating with your hand. We don’t really use utensils and I kind of forgot to pick some up. If it makes you feel any better, the right hand is commonly used to eat so…” You motioned towards his hand. “Dig in?”

He raised his eyebrow at your words. “I guess that was very convenient for me.” He joked before looking down at the food and back at you. “Aren’t you going to eat with me?”

You chuckled softly before shrugging at his question. “It’s alright, Bucky. I can eat after you. It’s not polite to eat before the guest.”

“Y/N, come on… you just said that you made all of this food because you were feeling homesick. I can’t eat all of this without you.” He clarified with a smile. 

You looked down at your lap in embarrassment as you felt your cheeks heat up. “I kind of only bought one banana leaf because I thought I would be the one eating all of this food.” You told him, shamelessly. “I didn't think I would have company, not that I don’t want you here or anything. I invited you to eat but… my grandmother says it’s rude to eat right out of the serving bowls if you’re going to be serving the food to someone else. I don’t mind waiting until you’re done and helping myself to your leftovers.” 

A part of him could not believe how bound you were to your grandmother’s words, especially when it came to your dining etiquette. Despite the fact that your grandmother had been someone to hold you back from your potential, he admired that you still respected her enough to follow through with the culture that she had taught you. 

“Fine, then if you don’t mind…” He reached down to grab a dollop of the pongal and sambar with his thumb and two fingers, carefully holding his hand up towards your mouth. “Let me at least feed you.”

Your eyes grew wide at his gesture and you found your cheeks heating up in embarrassment once again. “Um…” You gulped, not knowing how to react to that. A part of you wanted to accept his offer, but the pitter patter against your heart mimicked the rain against your window and caused you to become very nervous. 

As much as you had denied it when you were around the rest of the team, you knew that you did have a slight crush on Sergeant James Barnes of the 107th Infantry Regiment when you had first watched through the archival footage from the war. After all, who wouldn’t. At that time, you had believed that he was dead so it didn’t mean much. But now he was very much alive and sitting right before you. He was certainly a good looking man who’s smile could light up the world, and unbeknownst to you he had just lit up yours. 

You had spent years studying his life, along with the rest of The Howling Commandos, in the name of academic curiosity. But you could not deny that now seeing him in person changed how you really felt about this man. Not many people who studied historical figures had the chance to see them face to face. But this had happened to you twice now, and it still felt surreal. Bucky Barnes really was sitting on the floor of your living quarters, about to feed you a bite of your most favourite South Indian comfort food. What kind of idiot would you be not to accept it? 

You accepted the bite of food that Bucky had offered you, bringing your hand over to cover your mouth as you chewed. Your lips curling into a small smile as your eyes glazed over, you looked down at your lap. 

For some reason, eating from this man’s hand had made you miss your father quite so much. Seven years it had been since he had passed away. You never even got to say goodbye, the last time you had spoken on the phone being an argument that you had ended abruptly by hanging up on him. Had you known what was going to happen just hours later, you would have done things differently. You would have cherished the last moments you got to share with your father. Hell, you would have even prevented him from dying the way he did. But it was all too late now. 

Perhaps you suffered from internalized guilt just as much as the super soldier who sat before you, for you did feel partially responsible for your father’s death. Being an agent who was meant to save the world and all, you couldn’t even manage to save your own father. While this did once make you doubt your skills as an agent, you could not deny that you would give anything to be able to do right by the man who had raised you to be anything more than a typical Indian farm girl. But for now, all you had to do was exist for the sake of existing and accept the position that you had been given. Do the right thing, just as your father had taught you. 

When you had been five years old, your grandmother had told you the story of how Lord Krishna was married to more than sixteen thousand women. She had told you that he married every woman who loved him. He loved them back just as much too, being the God of love after all. But the woman he loved the most, he hadn’t even been married to her. Radha Rani was the love of his life. She was his soulmate. Despite not being married, their love for each other was so pure and eternal. 

It was then you told your father, in your childish little voice, “Appa, I want someone to love me like Lord Krishna loved Radha.” 

Now as you swallowed the bite that Bucky Barnes had fed you, you couldn't help but look over his broad shoulders. Up on the wall behind him you had hung one of the many paintings of Radha and Krishna that you owned. But in that particular one, Radha and Krishna were affectionately gazing into each other’s eyes while feeding each other. 

It didn’t seem like a sign to you then, but you prayed for some things to be made clearer in due time. After all, you were going to be here for a while. If Lord Krishna was really going to bless you with the kind of love that makes you blue after all of that pain and suffering, then you might as well accept it like you had just accepted that bite of food from Bucky. 

“Tell me the truth, Bucky.” You looked over at the man who sat next to you on the couch, his legs crossed as he leaned against the armrest. “Why are you even up at this hour?” 

Bucky Barnes looked over at you and let out a sigh, not knowing if lying to you about his insomnia would sell. After all, you seemed to know him better than he knew himself despite the fact that you had met just yesterday. While he feared that admitting the truth would cause you to become weary of him, he knew better than to lie to the woman who was in a position of authority. He had to be transparent with you, mainly because he didn’t have the heart to lie to you. 

“I can’t sleep.” He admitted, biting down on his bottom lip as he sat up straight, his elbows resting against his thighs as he covered his face with his hands. “I haven’t slept properly in a while, ever since I moved into the compound really. Every night I go to bed at a reasonable time. But I still end up waking up at this strange hour because of some nightmare.” 

Leaning over to rest your hand on his shoulder, you wanted to give him a squeeze. But you were quick to realize that his left shoulder was vibranium, so instead you moved your hand to rub his back. “Have you talked to Sam about it?” 

Not that you would assume that his friendship with Sam was anything like his friendship with Steve. As someone who had your own demons, you knew that it was not that easy to confide in someone about something like this. But you were well aware that Sam had some experience offering support groups to veterans who suffered from PTSD during his time working at the VA back in DC. He seemed to be much more equipped to handle something like this than you were, no doubt about that. But since you were now the boss around here, you knew that something needed to be done to address the mental health of your heroes.  

Bucky shook his head. “He’s always been weary of me, Y/N. I don’t think I should worry him about this. The last thing I want is for anyone to think that the Winter Soldier is still in me when he’s not.” 

“Sam can be an asshole at times… but he means well. He cares a lot about his friends, and that includes you and me.” You admitted. “But I know what you mean. What you’re going through, it’s not easy. You’ve had to deal with a lifetime’s worth of torture under HYDRA, along with the whole thing with the blip. The world has changed so much that it’s not all that easy to keep up with anymore.” 

He looked up at you and frowned. “I feel so lost, you know? Like I don’t know where I should start. I’ve missed out on seventy years of… life. The life that I knew before the war is gone and the life that I had since then… is full of torture and bloodshed. I’m just lost in the midst of it all.”

“Bucky, you do know that… if you ever want to talk about anything that has to do with history or what happened in the world during those seventy years, you can just talk to me about it, right? I may have a Master’s degree on The Howling Commandos but I do know a thing or two about what happened in the world after the war.” You offered, finally cracking a smile. “I can definitely help you out with catching up with times.” 

He chuckled softly at your words. “Is that how you and Steve… became friends?” 

You felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment at the mention of Captain America, a man whom you had respected and aided in the recovery of until Natasha had decided to set the two of you up on a date. It was a brief fling while the two of you had worked together in DC. But once you had realized it wasn’t going to work, you had ended things amicably. While you had remained friends and you had helped him catch up with the world, things had changed so much around you. 

“Yeah, I guess.” You admitted with a shrug. “He needed someone to catch him up to the world and Fury realized that he hired a history major. I think it worked out for all of us.” Looking back now, you only felt blessed to have known Steve Rogers. He was not only an inspiration, but also one of your closest friends. “And that’s why I’m offering to help.”

“But how could you help me, Y/N?” He asked. “What can you possibly do to help me come to terms with who I am?”

“Well, I had Steve read through the Internet a lot and make a list of all the things he wanted to try… like Thai food and Sherlock Holmes. I know that you’re not going on any missions right now. You’re just hanging around the compound and trying to kill time, right? I’d say… make use of the computers we have here, learn as much as you can. We can talk about it. But don’t ever think that you’re alone in this.” 

The Internet was a great place to start learning, right? Surely, Bucky had been apprehensive about taking that step. But he needed to be given a little push. Thankfully, he now had you for that. “I guess I can do that.” He gave in, for he was starting to get bored of the facility’s gym. 

“There is something that needs to be done about your nightmares though.” You pointed out. “This compound needs an on-site therapist. I need one. You need one. Wanda needs one. We all need one after all this crap that we’ve had to deal with.” You made a mental note to make some calls in the morning, but for now you knew that your attention should be on the super soldier. “But right now, you really need to get some sleep.” 

Bucky shook his head in defeat. “I can’t seem to fall asleep in my bed, Y/N. Believe me, I’ve tried… for many nights. I guess I just have to suck it up and kill time until the morning.” 

You raised your eyebrow at his words before crossing your arms against your chest. “What? Do you need me to sing you a lullaby or something?” You asked him, teasingly. 

He laughed at your question before shaking his head. “As if that’s ever going to work on me…” 

“Is that a challenge, Sergeant Barnes?” 

Bucky Barnes had no clue how it even happened. Just twenty-four hours ago, the two of you had been strangers who had nothing in common except for the fact that you both shared a past that had been perfectly entwined somehow. But now you were sitting against the headboard of his queen sized bed in the living quarters adjacent to yours, his head resting against your lap as he shut his eyes. 

Your soft hands running through his silky dark hair, you sang the words that you had pretty much memorized by now. It was a lullaby that your grandmother had sung to you when you were younger, written about how Lord Krishna himself had fallen asleep after a long day of playing around his village. 

Ayarpadi Maaligaiyil

Thaai Madiyil Kandrinai Pol

Maaya Kannan Thoongugindraan, Thaalelo

Ayarpadi Maaligaiyil

Thaai Madiyil Kandrinai Pol

Maaya Kannan Thoongugindraan, Thaalelo

Avan Vaai Niraiya Mannai Undu

Mandalathai Kaattiya Pin

Oiveduthu Thoongugindraan, Aaraaro

Oiveduthu Thoongugindraan, Aaraaro

Ayarpadi Maaligaiyil

Thaai Madiyil Kandrinai Pol

Maaya Kannan Thoongugindraan, Thaalelo

Pinnalitta Gopiyarin Kannathile Kannam Ittu

Mannavan Pol Leelai Seidhaan Thaalelo

Pinnalitta Gopiyarin Kannathile Kannam Ittu

Mannavan Pol Leelai Seidhaan Thaalelo

Andha Mandhirathil Avar Uranga

Mayakkathile Ivan Uranga

Mandalame Urangudhammaa Aaraaro

Mandalame Urangudhammaa Aaraaro

Ayarpadi Maaligaiyil

Thaai Madiyil Kandrinai Pol

Maaya Kannan Thoongugindraan, Thaalelo

Bucky Barnes had no clue how it even happened. But as he listened to the melody of your lullaby, he had drifted off into a deep slumber. When he woke up the next day, he found that you were gone. But he knew that you were the one to thank for helping him sleep after many months of waking up from nightmares. 

As the weeks went by, you and Bucky had become quite close. As most of the team were gone for days at a time because of their respective missions, the two of you often found yourselves being the only ones remaining at the compound. Despite your loneliness, you somehow found comfort in each other. 

Your free time was usually spent cooking up a storm in the common kitchen, and Bucky found himself frequently joining you for your meals. He had taken quite the liking to South Indian cuisine, but he had also kept his promise of making you a completely vegetarian Wakandan meal - something that he apparently prepared by video-calling the Queen Mother of Wakanda herself and asking her for recipes. 

“Does this mean you have diplomatic immunity? Being the adoptive child of Queen Ramonda and all…” You had joked. “They call you the White Wolf, don’t they?” 

“Did you ever have to use your diplomatic immunity?” He had asked you mockingly. “Being the daughter of an Indian diplomat after all.” 

“Bucky, could you please give Queen Ramonda my regards? Let her know that Agent Y/L/N, the daughter of Ambassador Y/L/N, sends her regards and thanks the royal family for all of their help.” You hadn’t been all that familiar with the Wakandan royal family during the reign of King T’Chaka, but it was only after his death did you have the chance to work closely with them. After all, you understood the pain that they had been dealing with all too well. 

Bucky was not familiar with why you seemed to know them so well. He had just assumed it must be because of your career in diplomacy before you became an agent. He did not think much of it though, at least not until he had told Shuri that you gave their family your regards. 

While the truth behind your relationship with the Wakandan royal family had certainly shaken him to his core, he did not make it known that he knew about it. After all, it was a huge part of your own personal life and you were just his boss. He did not feel the need to let you know that he knew something about you that you might not have wanted you to know. But instead, he continued to learn more about you and the culture that you were raised in. 

The Internet was a great place when it came to catching up with the world. He had read just about everything he could get his hands on, from history to literature and science. While he tried to keep up with how much the world had changed, he had also read as much as he could about your religion. 

He often joined you on your visits to the temple in the city after noticing that you made it a habit to go there every Friday. When Janmashtami came around, Bucky had offered to help you paint footprints from your front door to your shrine of Lord Krishna. 

According to your grandmother, the tradition of painting baby footprints was done believing that Lord Krishna would follow them and enter your home. You had been doing that every single year on Janmashtami for as long as you could remember. But that year, you just knew. It was the first year that Krishna had entered your home for real.

[picsofsannyas]

I FEEL SO MUCH RESISTANCE AGAINST MEDITATION

I FEEL SO MUCH RESISTANCE AGAINST MEDITATION AND I DON'T HAVE THIS DESIRE FOR GOD THAT YOU SPEAK ABOUT. IS THIS THE RIGHT PLACE FOR ME?

If you feel much resistance against meditation it simply shows that deep down you are alert that something is going to happen which will change your total life. You are afraid of being reborn. You have invested too much in your old habits, in the old personality, in the old identity.

Meditation is nothing but trying to clean your being. trying to become fresh and young, trying to become more alive and more alert. If you are afraid of meditation it means you are afraid of life, you are afraid of awareness, and the resistance comes because you know that if you move into meditation, something is bound to happen. If you are not resisting at all it may be because you don't take meditation very seriously. you don't take meditation very sincerely. Then you can play around. What is there to be afraid of?

It is exactly because you are resisting that this is the right place for you. This is precisely the right place for you. The resistance shows that something is going to happen. One never resists without any cause.

You must be living a very dead life. Now you are afraid that something is becoming alive, something is changing. You resist. Resistance is an indication, resistance is a very clear indication that you have suppressed much. Now in meditation that suppression will surface, it will be released. You would also like to be released of the burden but in that burden there are investments.

For example, you may be carrying pebbles in your hands but you think they are diamonds. And then I tell you, 'Clean yourself. Drop these pebbles. They have become a burden and you cannot move because of them.' You would like to be unburdened but then you are afraid that your diamonds will be lost. And they are not diamonds. Look again at your diamonds. If they were really diamonds, you should be happy. If they were really diamonds, you would not have come to me at ail. There is no need. If you have come, it shows that you are seeking. You may say that you are not interested in God -- I am also not interested in God -- but you are interested in yourself. Are you interested in yourself? Forget all about God. If you are interested in yourself. then this is precisely the place for you. If you are interested in your own being, in your own wholeness and health; if you are interested in becoming a blossomed flower, then forget all about God -- because in that blossoming you will know what God is. When your fragrance is released then you will know what God is. God is your ultimate flowering, your final flowering; your destiny fulfilled is what God is all about.

A woman seeing Turner's pictures said once, 'Making a lot of fuss over him, are they not? I never saw anything in him myself.' And another woman said to Turner himself, 'But you know, Mr. Turner I never see sunsets like yours.'

She received the mild yet devastating reply, 'No. Don't you wish you could?'

When a Turner paints a sunset of course he sees a sunset in a totally different way to you. He brings all his sensitivity, his whole being, to see it. In fact, you may not have ever seen a sunset the way a painter looks at it. Turner says rightly, 'Don't you wish you could?'

I'm here. I know you can't see what I am talking about, but don't you wish you could? I know that many things I am saying are almost nonsense to because to see them you will have to attain different eyes, you will have to clarify your being; to see them you will have to pacify your turmoil within. I know you cannot see the green that I am seeing in the trees. Your green is bound to be very dusty because your eyes are full of dust.

It happened once, that a man was staying with a friend at somebody's house. The host and the guest were standing near the window -- the window was closed -- and in the neighbor's house, clothes were hanging out to be dried. The host said, 'These people are very dirty. Look at their clothes.' The man looked, he came closer to the window and he said, 'Those clothes are not dirty. Your window glass is covered with dust.' They opened the windows and it was so. Those clothes were not dirty.

Life is tremendously beautiful. It is Divine. When we say 'Life is God' we simply say that life is so tremendously beautiful that one feels a reverence for it. That's all. Life is so tremendously beautiful that one feels like worshipping it. That's all we mean when we say 'Life is God.' When we say 'Life is God' we only mean, 'Don't see that life is ordinary. It is extraordinary. There is tremendous potentiality. Just open your eyes.' I have never seen a person who is not interested in God -- although he may not know it -- because I have never seen a person who is not interested in happiness. If you are interested in happiness, you are interested in God; if you are interested in being blissful, you are interested in God.

Forget all about God. You just try to be blissful, and one day, when you are dancing in your inner bliss. when the inner juices are flowing, suddenly this life is no longer ordinary. Everywhere some unknown force is hiding and you will see God in the flowers and in the stones and in the stars. I talk to you just to plant a seed, a song, a star. If you can become happy, you become religious. A happy person is a religious person -- let that be the definition. A religious person is not one who goes to the church or the temple if he is unhappy, he cannot be religious. A religious person is happy. Wherever he is, he is in the temple. A happy person carries his temple around him. I know it because I have been carrying it. I need not go to any temple. Where I am is my temple. It is a climate. It is my own inner juice overflowing. God is nothing but you realized, reached, fulfilled.

Yes. I say to you, I have never seen a man who is not interested in God. There cannot be. That man is not possible. Even people who say they don't believe in God, who are atheists, are not uninterested in God. They are interested. Their denying, their saying that they don't believe may be just a trick of the mind to protect themselves; because once you allow yourself to be possessed by God you disappear, only God remains. So people who are afraid of being, of disappearing, of moving into non-being, people who are too egoistic and cannot allow their drop to drop into the ocean, say there is no ocean. That is the trick of their mind so that they can protect themselves. They are fearful people, afraid, scared of life.

If you are interested in being happy, this is the place for you. And you are already here. Nobody has brought you, nobody has forced you, you have come on your own. Some inner search that you may not be aware of has brought you here. Maybe something is in the heart and your head does not know anything about it. There are desires of which the head is completely unaware -- the head is concerned only with rubbish. The heart may have brought you here.

Break that resistance -- and when you are here, be really here. Don't miss this opportunity.

In the New Testament the Greek word for sin is 'antinomic' or 'anomeia'. It means to miss the point; or, as in archery, to miss the mark. The word 'sin' comes from a root which means to miss the point, to miss the mark. If you are here and you miss me, that will be a sin. If you are here then why waste time? Be totally here. Drop the resistance. Or if you cannot be totally here, then go away from here. But go totally away. Then never again remember me, otherwise that will be a sin.

The word 'sin' is beautiful. It has been badly corrupted by Christianity. It has nothing to do with guilt, nothing to do with something bad, evil. It has nothing to do with morality but it has something to do with consciousness. If you are here, be consciously and totally here; your unconscious heart has brought you here. Groping in the dark you have come to me, now don't miss this opportunity. Either be totally here, or go away. Turn your back against me and never remember me again; because going away, if you remember me, then you will not be totally there -- wherever you are going. Wherever you are, be totally there, that's the only way to open the secrets and mysteries of life.

And don't be worried about whether you are interested in the concept of God or not. In fact, people who are too interested in the concept of God will not be able to know him.

I have come across a very beautiful book, written somewhere in the Middle Ages by a certain man known as Dionysius Exegius. His book is 'Theologica Mystica'. He says in that book that the highest knowledge of God is through what he calls in Greek 'agnostos', which means unknowing. You must have heard the word 'agnostic', it comes from the same root, agnostos. Agnostos means unknowing. And this Dionysius says that God is known only by unknowing. No need to be worried about the concept; no need to accumulate knowledge, theories, doctrines about God; forget all about the word and the theory. You be simply interested in your happiness, in your bliss, and one day you will find God has entered in you. It is another name for ultimate bliss.

[the-gray-witch-sigilist]

Hi there, I am and Ex-atheist I'm struggling as a baby witch of two months. I'm struggling between really believing and feeling true in my spirituality but also having a hard time as a ex-atheist who use to think its was silly to believe in a deity.

The first thing I should tell you is being a witch does not mean you have to be religious. Witchcraft is a practice, and every witch decides for themselves if their path calls for them to incorporate a belief in deities into their craft. I myself am a pagan witch, but I also know Christian witches, Muslim witches, Satanist witches, atheist witches, and witches from many other walks of life and belief systems. So don't feel pressured to believe in a deity- it's not a requirement to practice magic in any way.

Another thing I want to tell you is that I was raised Roman Catholic. Heavily Roman Catholic. I'm talking baby picture-book bibles as soon as I could string the alphabet together, daily rosaries, Sunday school, aspirations to become a nun- the whole shebang. But it never felt right, deep inside. I was also a voracious reader in a multicultural environment, so I ended up learning a lot about religions outside of my own as well. Eventually I became something of an atheist- or agnostic, perhaps, I don't really know for sure. I never ridiculed anyone for their beliefs, but I did give up participation in organized religion for some years. In spite of that, I still felt like there was more to the world, forces beyond human perception or control. And so I eventually found my way to witchcraft and paganism.

I was a witch before I became a pagan. Joining this community may have led me to my gods, but it did not require me to have any of them, which I found wonderfully freeing. Unlike Catholicism, which was force-fed to me from a very early age and is still being forced upon me by certain family members who refuse to accept that I am and have been a pagan witch for several years now, witchcraft was an open space for me to discover myself and my beliefs, which ended up being paganism. But I acknowledge my experiences may not be universal, so I can only hope you haven't felt pressured to believe in anything you weren't personally drawn to.

If you are trying to connect with deities, but struggle with your former(?) atheistic beliefs, then my advice to you would be to relax and understand that the path you have chosen to walk is not a linear one, and as long as you do your best to shed those beliefs and find new ones, you will be fine. Progress is progress, in any shape, form, or amount it appears in. You are moving at your own pace, and don't need to rush to catch up with anyone else. Your beliefs and practices are yours entirely, and there is no right or wrong way to practice witchcraft or find a belief system. Another thing I would advise you to try is communing directly with whichever deities you may be attempting to worship or align yourself with. If you feel a bit silly, try to cut back on the pomp and ceremony and think of them less as distant guides and more like close companions. Address them respectfully, but also try to talk to them the way you would talk to a friend. That helped me a lot when I was still tripping over my own roots as an ex-Catholic, ex-agnostic(?) atheist, or whatever I used to be as I tried to find my path. It helped ground me and more easily allowed my mind to accept the presence of the deities I found myself drawn to. Something I really find warm and welcoming about being a pagan witch is how much less estrangement there is between my gods and myself. Unlike Catholicism, which made the concept of God something heavy, foreboding, and woefully out of reach, (in my experience! this is not universal, and many witches out there practice their craft hand-in-hand with their God,) paganism was much more relaxed and open about communing with the deities I chose to connect with on a personal level.

But this has all just been my two cents on the matter, and everything I've said comes from my own experiences, which may or may not be similar to yours, so don't feel as though you need to take it to heart if nothing here has helped clarify things for you in any way. Good luck with your practice and your beliefs! Feel free to message me if you have any more questions or concerns.

Love, Nadia 🥀

[tce070]

The Ameba Virus Manifesto Part VIII

Usually there is a bit of time between typing up continuations of the ameba virus manifesto but I would like to clarify something because this is all about freedom of mind, freedom of self, freedom of religion, freedom of persecution and so on!  People are hurting right now and that is not fair because as long as food, water, and shelter are available, every breathing human on this planet should be happy.  Obviously bad things can happen but some of it is happening because of artificial constructs. 

Artificial constructs exist through rules and regulations.  In wildlife and nature artificial constructs really do not exist.  Sure there are laws such as gravity but what I’m trying to say is wildlife knows its bounds.  When an animal eats it becomes full.  It only takes what it needs.  Without rules and regulations it seems many men would take more than their fair share.  This is why some people point their fingers at capitalism.  

When someone gets really good at something they truly excel.  This is where jealousy comes into play.  Communism tries to deter this exceleration by making whatever the input is to an equal output for a given population.  Both forms of living have their pluses and minuses but it seems no matter what the case it is impossible to make everybody happy.  

The Ameba Virus is an attempt to solve worldwide problems.  Mainly trying to resolve the fact that Jesus Christ died thousands of years ago and is never coming back in the way that Christians claim he will come.  Even if he was not a mortal man he died on the cross and his body disappeared from its tomb.  Maybe extraterrestrials really are at work; also known as ancient aliens.  Tce070 explores the idea because it wants to know what really went down.  There is a reason the life of Yeshua is a marker in time; BC or AD the Gregorian Calendar!  Easter is celebrated year after year, as is Christmas.  Why do we continue?

Oh people of little faith perhaps that is all it was meant to be.  A separation of woman from animal and man from beast.  The Ameba Virus continues its pushing of the envelope to better explore and understand what makes us all human knowing there are Buddhists, Hindus, Christians, Jews, Muslims, Agnostics, Atheists, Deists, Mormons, Jedis, Scientologists, Satanists and believers of the flying spaghetti monster!  In the end, tce070 hopes you the individual can find whatever slice of heaven you and your family are looking for because we are not animals; we are human beings! 

Now a manifesto is written for progress to be made 

In principio in termino vita mors est

Carter Troughton