#I won't promise anything
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Some things never change
no trigger warnings except yandere themes, 2,7k words and as we all love barely edited text
Probably, running away from home wasn't the smartest decision in life. In any case. The reason for such act depended on the questioner. If it was one of the friendly, elderly aunts, then you modestly told them about the desire to achieve recognition for the family. For younger acquaintances, the version acquired more dreamy shades in the form of recognition for yourself. For someone less meticulous, the desire to see the world was enough.
In the end you couldn't change the past, however, you were not eager to return home and beg for forgiveness, as most casual people painted a picture for themselves. Therefore, you always kept silent about the interesting beginning of the journey, preferring to tell stories of a later period. About how, by pure chance, you met a traveling troupe of artists and joined them. Did you know how to sing, dance, play a role? At an average level, yes.
Was it hard at first? Definitely.
Nevertheless, the stubborn decision to live your own life, leaving all the unpleasantness behind, won out and you, convincing and sometimes negotiating with yourself, swallowed the complaints. The meaningful glances from the other performers were safely ignored. They could think whatever they wanted, as long as they didn’t start leaving comments and sticking their noses into things that weren’t their business. Sounded like passive aggression? Touché.
Be that as it may, after a couple of months of involuntary life together and shared stories, the distance between you decreased to comfortable evening conversations and jokes in a whisper.
Has a small troupe of the same lost souls as you become a family in the full sense of the word? You always answered something vague and tried to change topic to something else. If others noticed, they preferred to tactfully remain silent and intercept the conversation. Everyone had their own reason for wandering, which meant that you were in for a maximum of understanding and a minimum of interference.
At least, these were the thoughts that always visited you at the beginning of autumn. To be more precise, when warm weather started dropping hints of cold wind and a rare drizzle of rain. No, you had no complaints about the season itself, only about your own melancholic mood, which was becoming part of everyday life. For performer, the beginning of autumn marked the end of the working season. Of course, there were occasions when you were invited to brighten up the evening of this or that eccentric nobleman, but they were incredibly rare. If you managed to count them on the fingers of one hand, it was considered lucky.
Winter served as a break for most. For agriculture, for trade, for travel… for you. In winter, finding something to do, a job, became more difficult. It was harder to distract yourself. There were no nights whose sky was painted with hundreds of lights. Noisy companies of people, in the flow of which it was so easy to forget and let yourself be led anywhere.
Inazuma - the nation of eternity, was supposed to be the last major stop this year. To be honest, even as a child you listened with apprehension to stories about this country. About visions. However, the gods did not consider you worthy of their gift. The bitterness of disappointment was felt as an unpleasant aftertaste even at a conscious age. Now you were watching life and the changing emotions on the faces of the townspeople from the window of a small ryokan's room with detachment. An unfinished mask for the next outfit rested on your lap.
It seemed that all the nightmares were left behind, it seemed that they were not afraid of the imminent onset of cold weather. The thoughts of both old and young were occupied only with the upcoming farewell to summer - you preferred to tactfully remain silent about the fact that it was already over.
The needle fell out of your hands with a barely audible ringing sound, falling to the floor. Looking down at your hands, you immediately clenched and unclenched them several times, trying to stop the trembling. This was clearly not the first and not the last winter in your life. Why doesn't the feeling of anxiety leave you? So noticeable that if the needle hadn't fallen out, you could have cut the air with it. Your "friends" wrote it all off as autumn dismals and for a moment you really wanted to sincerely believe their words.
It all started with crossing the border, as if the velvety purple skies were warning you about something in advance, carefully forgetting to specify what exactly. You decided that it was all because of the noticeable change in the weather. After the warm Sumeru, Inazuma seemed cold and unfriendly.
The meeting with Commissioner Yashiro took even the most experienced and seasoned performer, your unofficial leader, by surprise. You remembered how someone briefly mentioned a family whose responsibilities included organizing festivals. However, discussing and obtaining permission from the leader still shook you to the depths of your soul.
Despite the obligatory nature of some moments brought by the new life, you still did not like meeting with nobles, especially tete-a-tete. They reminded you of a time you wanted to leave behind. Memories you wanted to rewrite, erase, bury under a pile of new ones and never think about again. Whether it was a defensive reaction or a personal dislike, no one asked. As long as you performed without causing problems, no one was going to pry into your soul.
Tremble in your hands became stronger, as well as your heart beat faster in your chest.
The Kamisato family estate was amazing, causing admiring whispers from the troupe and anxiety in you. The ceilings were too high, reminding you of a beautiful cage, one of which you had so carefully left. You tried to avoid such talent display in front of the nobles: you wanted to show off as little as possible. Even though you understood in your mind that the probability of meeting a familiar face in a foreign country was extremely small, you could never calm your paranoia.
Hope died last, so you prayed that there would be some urgent matter, any really, that did not require delay and a trusted person would conduct the meeting. However, fate rarely took into account someone's wishes, since the quiet voices and greetings of the servants in the corridor became a sufficiently clear sign.
In such grand mansions, your body acted on its own, straightening your back and wiping all emotion from your face, leaving a neutral smile. Despite all your attempts to imitate your new acquaintances, some habits seemed to be engraved on your bones. Whether it was luck or not, was another question. The singer, who for some reason was treating you like a younger relative, winked to you encouragingly, while your insides turned cold.
You didn’t like the look of the Commissioner. He was pleasant, behaved appropriately, flashing his knowledge of the fine arts, without putting himself in an bad light. Looking at the man from under your lowered eyelashes, for a second you felt a pang of envy. About what your life could have been if you had followed the beaten path, instead of jumping off a cliff with the unknown at its very bottom. Suppressing a moment of weakness, you smiled charmingly when the conversation turned to you, playing the role of a silly person who was passionate about arts.
You stood up, forcing yourself to take deep breaths, ignoring the darkening in your eyes. As soon as your gaze cleared, you tiredly sank down again, reaching for the fallen mask, to which you had been sewing feathers a few minutes ago. The quick and sharp pain made you pull your hand back in panic, while the voice of reason reminded you of the needle that had fallen. Shaking your head a couple of times, as if it could throw out unpleasant emotions and restore your calm, you grabbed the mask in one movement and casually threw it on the bed, or as it was called here a futon. The needle and a bag of colored feathers were carefully put away in the nightstand.
For some incomprehensible, twisted reason, you were the one deciding the organizational issues. To be more precise, this was the wish expressed by the Commissioner, and the kind "head" of the troupe did not object. Words about a pleasant impression, an interesting, new look at the performances and compliments from the servants of the estate - like a porcelain doll - were drowned in the general monotonous noise, while the body still refused to move.
The need to end everything as quickly as possible became sufficient motivation. Visit the estate, solve a few pressing issues and return to your room, lock yourself in and hide from the world until the moment when you would have to go out again. Repeating this phrase like a mantra, you sat in the familiar interior and tried to fight the desire to jump out of the window.
"Are you okay?" A sympathetic voice asks, for a second you even believed in sincerity which it hold.
"Yes, Monsieur Kamisato," the answer bursts out on its own, and then, as if realizing your mistake, you lowered your head in a bow. "I'm sorry, I meant Kamisato-sama."
Some habits are unchangeable.
The man just laughed softly, "You may address me as you prefer. I suppose the language barrier is sometimes difficult to overcome?"
"Thank you, I hope my Fontaine's accent does not offend you. I try to fill in the gaps in the cultural peculiarities of the languages of different corners of Teyvat." You answered, reading between the lines of his question.
You tried to ignore the man as much as etiquette allowed, whose eyes narrowed in satisfaction, like a cat, that had been watching a canary for a long time. Reaching for the papers on which the rough plan of the event was sketched, you were about to change the topic, but he was beat you to it.
"I hope that your stay in Inazuma is going smoothly and nothing has marred the first impression." Slightly tilting your head to the side, you looked at the nobleman, waiting for him to continue. "I assume you know about Tri-Commisions, Yashiro, let me clarify."
Closing your eyes for a moment, you tried to answer as close to textbook as possible, "It's one of the organizations in Inazuma. They, you, are in charge of managing shrines, festivals, and cultural events."
"With such a well-known history, it's rather surprising that we don't have a permanent troupe of performers. Perhaps we should entertain the idea." The softness in his voice, the pleasant, inviting atmosphere, and the innocently asked question made you genuinely disgusted.
"If you think so," perhaps not the best answer, but short enough not to ruin the conversation or make yourself seem rude. You didn't have to be a prophet to not guess what the other side was hinting at. "Would you allow me to ask your opinion on the event's plan?"
As if he had already achieved his goal, the man kindly allowed the conversation to return back to work, which you were grateful for.
You couldn't flash much experience in small talk. Each meeting with the Commissioner made you remember everything that they had so diligently tried to hammer into you, to mold the version that should correspond to the norms.
He had it all. Soft pressure, skill of confidently inclining the dialogue in a favorable direction. Man never showed open aggression, did not give you anything that you could latch on to. Smoothly and gracefully dropped small hints on where he could press if you decided to act differently from the path he had already planned.
"Thank you, I will take your wishes into account and make the necessary changes," politely ending the meeting, you slowly began to collect the papers you had brought and the sheet of notes.
"Have you ever thought about settling down?" The question catches you off guard, the papers almost falling out of your hands, scattering across the table and the floor. Instead, a smile appears on your face and your body moves on its own again.
"You are very kind. Will you allow me to pass on your generous offer to hire our troupe to the others? I do not have the authority to make such a decision on my own."
"Ah, yes, of course," his eyes narrow slightly again, letting you know that trying to play on the meaning of his words would not work. "Your unity is admirable," the implied 'considering your type of work' hangs in the air.
"I will pass on your praise, Kamisato-sama," another bow. "Please, excuse me."
To your great happiness, he made no attempt to stop you. He let you reach the shoji, push it aside, but just before you could close it, he added, "I hope you'll consider the offer personally."
The sound of the door closing ringed louder in your ears than it actually was.
Hope, such a fragile, unreliable thing, had let you down more often than anyone else in your life. Each time, burning and burying another piece of yourself, you thought about home. If a place from the past could be called like that. About too many expectations and too few opportunities for self-realization. About a ready-made life plan, presented on a silver platter, all you had to do was reach out.
Something wet falls into your palm. The unexpected screams of passersby, escaping from the rain, were barely discernible through the veil of white noise. Focusing your gaze on the window frame of the same empty room in the ryokan, you touched your own face with your other hand.
It was dry.
You wiped your palm on the fabric of your clothes and held back a sigh. Although the Commissioner had not specified a deadline for making a decision, your intuition told you that the day of the festival was the maximum you could hope for.
The troupe took the news ambiguously. Some liked the prospect of a permanent job. Some lived for travel.
Some were… you. A rabbit trying to outrun the clock. Or a bud that, instead of falling and brightly flaring up in the flames of the stove, fell off with the wind. Flower that didn't want to become part of someone's herbarium and was now soaking in a puddle, hoping to dissolve in it and disappear as if it had never existed. No one looked at their feet, hurrying about their business in the hustle and bustle of days.
Almost no one.
A beviolent person stopped and carefully unfolded his own album. You just had to reach out. The voice of a familiar singer breaks through the noise of the rain, like the thunder of Her Excellency. Would you be able to say "Yes" once and keep a right to say "No"? Unfortunately, the strength to answer this question was becoming less and less. As was the time until the event.
The trees had already managed to change into different shades of colors, dappled with orange, red and even purple leaves, attracting the gaze of everyone who was ready to look. Despite the feeling of cold, the sun was still warming the earth, giving the last days of trancility. Could the electro Archon take pity and bless her people, waiting for the festivities with them?
"Opportunities to bask in the sunlight like this are few and far between."
"That's how," hearing a voice right next to your ear, you didn't even take your eyes off the waves. Or to be more precise, their barely noticeable echoes, now and then disappearing from sight due to the wind and tree crowns.
What exactly you were hoping to see in the distance, and whether were you hoping, was a moot point. One of those that tensed up the atmosphere from the first words spoken. You didn't want to take responsibility and get caught in the crossfire.
"The Shogun's mood is extremely favorable these days," it seemed someone decided to take pity and throw you a bone. For this, you ignored the light touch on your shoulder. "Thoma conveyed that the fishermen whose boats safely returned to port do not cease to thank her."
You stayed still for a moment, considering something you couldn't give a name. Expectedly, Commissioner was fine with your lack of reaction most of the time, as long as you were where he wanted you to be.
"Winter will come soon"
Was there any meaning in this phrase or did it mean something completely different. Was it spoken for those who could hear, or did you voice it for yourself. You didn't know anymore.
A drop fell on the windowsill and purely by instinct you touched your cheek again, but, unfortunately, the sound of the rain that began once again reminded you how stupid it was to hope for anything.
He lied after all.
#if it seems to you that narrative is a chaotic know it is#in this way I tried to show the lapses in memory and the loss of the sense of time#reader i mean#growing depression or maybe apathy is better word? who knows#it's probably one time thing because I don't have much interest in genshin in writing sense#I won't promise anything#also it's my fanon version of ayato if he's too ooc tell me I'll put a tag#okay stop with rumbling if anyone have questions feel free to ask#tenshi talk#yandere genshin impact#genshin impact#genshin#ayato x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact imagines#genshin x reader#yandere ayato kamisato#yandere kamisato ayato#genshin ayato#kamisato ayato#yandere male x reader
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how do we feel about merlin and young mordred dressed as wirt and greg from over the garden wall as an art for spooky month?........
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new retro anime luke black fanart soon? 👀
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Kinda want to do this, but i also don't know how much time/ motivation I'll have... 🥲
So... feel free to send suggestions for the emoji part of this (Detective Conan characters only), and I'll see how many I'll actually manage to do lol
DO NOT SEND ASKS OF THIS TO THE OP BECAUSE I WILL NOT DO THEM
SEND ME A CHARACTER + EMOTION/COLOR PALETTE (OR BOTH)
feel free to reblog and use them yourself :)
#art challenge#ask game#i won't promise anything#but I'm in the mood of drawing but I don't really know what#and I don't feel like colouring the many many WIPs i have
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If even acknowledging antisemitism within your community spaces is going to "distract from the cause," maybe that's because the foundation of your beliefs comes down to antisemitism. What you're doing is telling on yourself.
#jumblr#jewish politics#personal thoughts tag#yes if you're in the group chat this is a vague post but seeing that (what i complained about) made me realize this#maybe it wasn't all that bad then???#this has the same energy as people who say that acknowledging transphobia in feminist spaces is wrong#because obviously you can only focus on One Thing At A Time like we're in a video game! (sarcasm)#i promise you can be against bigotry of all kind and it won't take away from anything about your causes#like i'm a Believer In Feminism and i also focus on fixing transphobia within these spaces i am in! it's EASY!!!#it's easy because i see trans people as intrinsic human beings i'll give you that but it's still easy#women are not Missing Out on my activism because i am focused on more than one thing at a time
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Transcript:
COME ON MACHINE, FUCK ME LIKE AN ANIMAL.
Audio source
#gabriel ultrakill#ultrakill#wear headphones#suggestive#volume warning#if you dont wear headphone listening to anything on here. im sorry. i cant help you#finally. 6-2 uncensored#ok ok the title is a lie 6-2 is based but he should have said what he really meant.. :]#everyone say thank you gianni#i won't be adding the ones with and without music every time#but ppl might want to use this for somethin so I put one without music as well#ok i promise the next post will be Normal.#normal. im normal.....#sorry the volume levels are inconsistent#when i apply the effect it gets real loud#so i have to reduce the volume#and it never ends up the same volume as the non filtered clip lol
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August and Peter figuring out the whole ~siblings~ thing. From the October Daye series, specifically the Patreon story, "In Safety Rest".
#seanan mcguire#october daye#august torquill#peter lorden#fanart#sometimes you're like i just want to draw out how this wheelchair would work#and you promise yourself there won't even be a background#and then suddenly it's like why am i drawing all this weird coral#what color is anything#what is perspective??#anyway enjoy! i'm exhausted#seanan was like what if we could be in the undersea all the time and i was there!! with bells on!!#friendship ended w/ kingdom of the mists#duchy of ships and saltmist are my besties now#also didn't consider that drawing a full mermaid situation means i have to go horizontal which...not the best for tumblr!
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Queer As Folk – 2.04: Pride
#britin#queer as folk#cinematv#filmtvcentral#userthing#smallscreensource#brian kinney#userstream#dailyflicks#userrlaura#userange#mlmsource#userkitkat#usergay#filmtvtoday#tvarchive#usersource#tvedit#chewieblog#HAVE YOU EVER HEARD ANYTHING MORE GODDAMN ROMANTIC IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE!!!!#brian 'i don't believe in love' kinney ladies and gents#you don't understand the power behind the 'i promise you won't forget this one' i just- *collapses to the ground*#2x04#my gifs
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yesterday's little shitpost got me in the mood. here's most of the metadede i've drawn in the last few months
#meta knight#king dedede#metadede#my doodles#you can tell they're low quality/low effort because mk is missing his mask and armor in most of these#but i hope my love for them still comes through. they live in my head#im not very proud of these.. my traditional skills are non existent and for that i apologize#i hope my computer gets fixed soon. im itching to draw literally anything that won't look. Like This#i'll cook up some quality metadede drawings whenever my computer is fixed. Promise 🙏
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day 93
whats up
#day 93#year 5#sollux captor#homestuck#i was a lil distracty this evening i had Some Chores to catch up on#plusssss i am brainstorming. a lil something for 4/13 perhaps. I WON'T PROMISE ANYTHING but.#it will likely be Audience Participation in nature.... so keep an eye out
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✨ The wizard and the jester ✨
(ID: Kirby series fanart sketches of Marx and Magolor in humanized form, with some Marxolor shenanigans tossed in for funsies, plus one guest appearance by Kirby. More detailed descriptions in Alt Text. END ID)
Sketches started some time in 2021, finished 10/28/24.
#veins art#veins old art#veins sketches#veins ships#veins fanart#kirby series#kirby#marx kirby#magolor#traitor magolor#gijinka#character designs#description in alt text#magolor x marx#marxolor#my boys <3#I miss them every day#I like drawing their orb forms but man... I forgot how much I loved these designs#can't believe I brought up gijinkas *years* ago and never bothered to post 'em until now... I blame sudden AU thoughts for that haha#will I do anything else with them? eh I mean I'd like to... but no promises they won't be eclipsed by other stuff tho#cha'boy has too many thoughts and not enough hands to realize them ^^'#also fun fact - would you believe that Mags made those arms for Marx? not surprising when you consider he made his own legs as well#eye contact tw#knife tw#body horror tw#<- (for traitor magolor)#veinsfullofstars
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Love the idea of Johnny hooking up with Peter Parker not knowing he's Spider-Man for the LONGEST and Johnny lovingly strangling him when he finally takes off his mask for him
#peter saying oh well.. do you like what you see#and johnny says oh yea but I promise you won't be seeing anything when I'm done with you#spideytorch#peter parker#johnny storm#marvel#my thoughts
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DID YUO SEE THE GIF GLITCH JUST DROPPED-
I DID NOT AND DO NOT WANT TO.
Allow me to explain: I want to watch any and all Murder Drones episodes blindly without knowing or seeing anything on them. In fact, that's how I enjoy watching this show. Why, you may ask?
Because that's how I first watched the pilot.
I knew literally nothing about it. I didn't know who voiced in it, what it was all about, who created it... nothing. I just saw a thumbnail for a show that had to do with robots on the internet, and decided to watch it on a whim.
I was blindsided by everything. The first thing I did when N spoke was to very loudly exclaim "MICHEAL?!" And you know what? I enjoyed what I saw! It may have taken me two separate occasions to finish, but I enjoyed my experience watching it!
Did I know episode two came out? I was hyperfixating on something else at the time, so I only found out about it months later. And like with the pilot, I knew nothing about it. I hadn't seen any teasers or anything on it, so once again, I was blindsided by everything I witnessed. So on and so forth, for each and every episode.
It was easy for me not to see anything, because I didn't have reliable internet at the time. Therefore, I was completely unaware of release dates, I didn't see any teasers, I didn't see anything for any episodes.
Obviously, I could not avoid the one featured in GLITCHX, so it was unavoidable and is therefore the only exception to this rule. I am willingly choosing to commit to how I watch these next episodes, because it's been an enjoyable experience for me to get slapped in the face by every episode of this series so far.
And I'd like to keep it that way.
Okay, this is turning out longer than I meant it to be, so let's get to the point I wanna make: while this is the first news we're getting in a long while and it's certainly exciting, I am purposely trying to avoid seeing it so I can continue enjoying it this way.
Anyway, here's N playing the trumpet as an apology if I came off as aggressive at the start there. :3
wait shit was it murder drones related i blacked out when i wrote this
#Zeisty's Askbox#murder drones#murder drones n#promise me you guys won't send me any pictures of the news or tell me about it unless it's a release date or something#if it's a teaser i do not want to see it and won't look at it#thanks for respecting my discussion :3#you gotta be specific with me too#like this was so vague that I panicked#I know there's going to be news and I know it's circulating tumblr UNTAGGED AND NOT UNDER A READ MORE#but I know not of any gif#if it's digital circus related you can definitely tell me about it though#I saw its first teaser and trailer before the pilot#and I definitely knew all about it#so I don't mind seeing any leaks or teasers or anything on the amazing digital circus#basically please be specific? I misunderstand things if you're too vague with me :(#zeisty’s goofs
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Hi ! Long time no see ! I was pretty unactive because such a weird adblock strike me, and IRL was a bit overwhelmed SDKFDSFs SORRY And about daily tighnari, I won't do much as before. I kind of start to lost interest on genshin ): Still into it tho because I can't get rid off easily ! I also forgot to answer ask ! On my way !! And also some doodles I post on twitter and insta but not here
#talk#I won't promise anything lol but now I feel productive#I post on tumblr again !!!#Thank you for sending me ask ! I am so happy to interact with you all
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The fact that so many DE players have only played one companion-version of the end-game (Kim) is so deeply tragic to me, I just don't think you can say you've truly experienced what the game has to offer if a) you're not willing to let go of your safety-blankie (Kim) and b) you don't engage with the creators' thoughts on adoptive family.
#Disco Elysium#Harry Du Bois#Kim Kitsuragi#Cuno De Ruyter#Let yourselves fail that authority check#I promise you you'll be ok#If DE has taught us anything it's that catastrophic failure is only the beginning of something new#and potentially more powerful than one might have ever imagined#I won't ruin anything in the tags tho#if you love DE you deserve to get it all for yourself
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oh yeah uhhhhh here's willow's final (?) design with a variant
#tenka willow#my sona#my art#backpack is optional and so is the bandage he just sometimes has it#i actually can't promise that i won't change anything but for now i'm sticking with this#i still need to do a proper render for them too
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