#I won’t because I’m a fucking coward who doesn’t know what’s good for me

[eternallynamelessvoid]

I want to die as always lol

A teehee

[luvyeni]

❛TREAT YOU BETTER❜ ( h. renjun )

p. huang renjun x fem!reader w. 5.1k+

warnings? smut, mentions of 🍃, unprotected sex, toxic relationships

— 𖦹 ( renjun hates your boyfriend, he certain he can treat you better) !

“You only won that game because of me, stop boosting.” Renjun watched his friends argue over nonsense as they rode up the elevator to haechans apartment. “Bullshit, you didn’t do a damn thing.”

They stepped off the elevator still arguing, “Enough.” Renjun shushed them both. “You’re both pretty, give it a rest.” They switched to arguing over who was pretty, to which he shook his head ignoring them as they walked down the hall.

“Where are you?” Renjun turned his upon hearing your voice, you were standing in front of the door, tears streaming down your face. “Because you won’t give me a key, now i’m locked out of our apartment, and you’re too busy with another girl to come let me in.” They all turned to you — you noticed to putting your hand to your mouth, whispering. “I look stupid crying, there are people walking past.”

They quickly turned making there way to the end of the hall where haechan lived. “Why doesn’t she have the key to her own house.” Jaemin, mostly likely high out his mind said, completely unaware of how loud he was. “Shut up.” Renjun slapped his arm, walking into haechans unlocked apartment.

“Wassup!” haechan yelled, his small apartment already drowning in the scent of weed and smoke. “Jesus haechan how many did you already smoke.” Jeno sat down on the couch. “Not enough, did you bring it?” Renjun threw the green substance at him. “You owe me 30 fucking dollars you ass.” He snapped, the boy had sent him on a run, thinking it was only 10 dollars, when in reality it was 30 dollars. “Thank you renjunnie.”

They all sat around, jeno began rolling up the weed into blunts, renjun mind went back to you, you seemed to live there, so why didn’t you have a key? Did you loose it? So why don’t you just go to maintenance?

Seems like jaemin had the same question, cause he soon spoke up. “Haechan, whose the pretty girl crying in front of the apartment down the hall?” Renjun rolled his eyes. “Who the fuck- Oh that’s y-n, she’s crying again?” Again? This was a reoccurring thing. “Again?” Jeno read his mind.

“Yeah, this happens at least once a month, her boyfriend is an asshole and won’t get her a key, so she’s constantly getting locked out.” He explained. “Why won’t she just go to maintenance and get one?” haechan shrugged. “He doesn’t let her do anything alone, i’m surprised she is out of the apartment while he’s not there, I don’t think she had class today.”

“What?” Renjun finally spoke up. “I don’t know, she doesn’t seem to go out without him unless she’s going to class, she’s our age too, he’s like 28 and everytime I see him, I see her follow behind him” Haechan said. “He’s trash though, I hear him always yelling at her over dumb shit, cheating on her.” Renjun felt himself getting upset – why stay with a person if you’re gonna treat them like that. “and she stays? Haechan shrugged. “Somedays I hear her leaving and then she doesn’t come home for a few days, but then she’s right back here, she’s real forgiving, a bit of an air head, sweet girl though.” He passed the blunt to renjun.

“I’m good.” Haechan retracted his hand with a “suit yourself.” Renjun couldn’t stop thinking about how the tears rolled down your face, as you begged for you sorry excuse for a boyfriend to come home. “Jun? you okay?” Jeno asked, he stood up. “Where are you going?” Jaemin asked.

“To go see if she got into the apartment, where else.” He said, haechan past the blunt to jaemin. “Be careful, her boyfriend isn’t only an asshole to her, he’s an asshole in general.” Renjun definitely wasn’t scared of a coward who treats women like trash. “I’ll be back.”

“Where are you?” You barely waited for your boyfriend to answer. “I’m on my way I swear, geez why are you calling so much.” You heard him slur his words, music playing in the background. “because you won’t give me a key, and now im locked out of our apartment.” You said, tears wielding in your eyes again. “hey come here.” You heard a females voice in the back. “and you’re too busy with another girl to let me in.”

You watched three boys walk past you, furthering your embarrassment. “and I look like a fool crying.”

“Then stop being such a crybaby, I told you i’ll be home soon, why do you need a key so bad, you don’t even leave the house often, why waste money on a key.” He yelled over the music. “You don’t let me out the house.” You here his slam down another drink. “Because you can barely do anything without my help, you’d get hit by a car if it wasn’t for me, don’t be an idiot.” He yelled. “Now stay there, i’ll be home soon.” Before you could say something, you heard the click of the phone.

You sighed, sliding down the door defeated. You don’t understand why you still stay, your boyfriend used to be a good person — or maybe he wasn’t and you were just blinded by his love bombing that you didn’t notice the red flags, but whatever it was, he didn’t used to be like that, that was the only reason you felt comfortable moving into an apartment went him, but that’s when things went to shit.

He began to come home late night, drunk and covered in hickeys, apologizing over and over, until he didn’t even apologize, instead he’d just say, “I came home to you, that’s all that matters.”

You knew how he treated you wasn’t good, but you were always a people pleaser, putting everyone before you — seeing the good in everyone, and even though everyone else fails to see the good in your boyfriend, you believe he’s somewhere in there.

“Are you okay?” a voice pulls you from your inner thoughts, your eyes travel upwards, meeting his eyes. It was one of the boys who walked past you. “Hi.” You stood up, brushing off your skirt. “I’m fine.” You spoke. “Are you locked out?” He pretended that he didn’t know anything, you looked at the door, then back to him, he was cute. “Yeah.”

“Do you have a hair pin or something?” You reached into your bag, moving things around, searching. “Uh, here.” You said, he took it from you, your hands touching, he gave you a slight smile, “could you…” He motioned for you to move. “Oh o-okay.” You stepped to the side.

You watched him work on the door, he wiggled it around a bit – until you hear a click, the door was unlocked. He pushed the door open, and the reason you were even crying, came running out the door. “peaches!” The dog jumped into your arms, licking your face. “oh baby you must be so hungry.” He watched your eyes light up, biting back a smile.

You turned to him, he handed you back the hair pin. “How did you do that? You aren’t a criminal are you?” He shook his head. “no, but my friend is an idiot who gets locked out of his bedroom a absurd number of times.” You smiled. “Thank you so much, you really saved me today, my poor peaches must’ve been so scared.” He nodded watching you pet the dog.

“I really wish I could pay you back some how.” He shook his head. “I have some money, hold on.” He quickly stopped you. “it’s fine, don’t worry about it, no one should stand out like that, plus now you can feed your dog, that’s enough for me.” You hummed. “You’re a godsend.” You said.

The dog began to whimper in your arms. “Okay peaches, let’s get you some food, say goodbye to the nice man.” Renjun patted the dogs head. “goodbye peaches.” He said. “And it was nice to meet you…” you said waiting for his name. “oh it’s renjun.” You smiled, “it was nice to meet you renjun, i’m yn.” He nodded. “Same to you.” You waved, walking into your house. “bye bye.” He waved back, waiting for you to close the door, before making his way back to haechans apartment. “did you fix it captain save a pretty girl.”

He rolled his eyes, sitting back down. “thanks to jaemin being a dumbass i got the door open using a bobby-pin.” Jaemin smiled, eyes hardly open. “You’re welcome.” He past renjun the blunt. “can you finally stop worrying and smoke with us?” he took the blunt from his friends hand — shit he paid 30 bucks for it.

They all stumbled out of haechans apartment, trying to make it downstairs before the uber got there. “I’m hungry.” Jaemin slurred, “me too.” Jeno said. He walked past your apartment, eyes squinting as he heard yelling coming from the other side of the door. “seems like her boyfriend is home — let’s go before the uber leaves.” Jeno said, renjun looked back at the door, before stepping into the elevator.

“You got into the house, what’s the big fucking deal?” your boyfriend yelled, the dog barked in your defense. “The big deal is someone had to basically break into our apartment because you were too busy fucking other girls to come and let me in.” You said back, he didn’t even deny it, groaning. “Jesus yn, you’re acting so controlling.” He says, “it’s not my fault you don’t go out, but you won’t stop me from living my life.”

“I don’t go out because you don’t let me!” You shouted, “Whatever, i’m going to bed, i’ll let you act like a baby on your own.” He stumbled back to your shared bedroom. “girls like you are so needy.”

You sighed, sitting on the couch — peaches climbed into your lap, cuddling into you. You thought about where everyone went wrong, how you got to this point. Then your mind slowly drifted to the nice boy who helped you earlier — it had been a while since a boy was the slightest bit nice to you, it felt girl. “I think he’s friends with that boy down the hall, he doesn’t seem as weird as him though.” You spoke to the dog, “He’s sweet.” You smiled to yourself, laying down.

“let’s sleep out here tonight.” You grabbed the blanket, the dog cuddled to your side. “night peaches.” You closed your eyes, drifting off to sleep, your mind on the boy with the lip ring who was your knight and shining armor.

Renjun hated his job at the café, it quite literally sucked ass — but somebody had to pay half rent and fund jaemins weed problem.

“Welcome to sm café how can I help you?” he said not looking up from the tablet. “What do you want?” His mind immediately took notice of the soft voice, his eye coming into contact with you. “oh?” You finally took notice of who was in front of you. “Renjun?” You smiled, almost forgetting your boyfriend was there.

“What can I get you?” Your boyfriend spoke up. “Two ice americanos, and a slice of chocolate cake.” You grimaced. “I don’t like ice americanos, I want hot chocolate.” You said, your boyfriend ignored you. “The cake alone is too much sugar, you’re already getting chubby.” Renjun wanted to jump over the counter and punch the man as he watched you step back, lowering your head.

“You got that?” the man asked him rudely, he looked at you – you shook your head. “two ice americanos and a chocolate cake.” He typed it in, “here or to go?” Your boyfriend turned to you. “Here.” You said meekly. “I don’t understand why, but here – go find a table.” You quietly walked away. “Girls man, so fucking annoying.” He watched your boyfriend laughed. “you get it don’t you?”

Renjun rung up the card, handing it back to the asshole in front of him. “No.”

You sat down at the table in the back, you watch your boyfriend laugh at something, handing a stoic renjun his card, his face made you laugh, your boyfriend was never a funny person. You lowered your smile as your boyfriend sat down. “What a bum kid, why come to work if you’re not gonna be happy.”

“Well he does get paid like 5 dollars an hours so.” Your boyfriend eyed you. “He should be grateful, you younger kids never want to work.” You squint your eyes. “you’re 27.”

“Why are you defending him, now that I think about you seemed so surprised, you know that kid?” You could see where this was going, and you definitely didn’t want it to be in public. “He’s friends with the haechan.” Your boyfriend shrugged. “Who?” You shook your head. “Don’t worry, he’s just the one who helped me get into the apartment.”

“He’s the someone?” he put the emphasis on the he. “I mean it wasn’t like I had a choice, peaches was scratching at the door.” You said. “Whatever.” You could tell he was jealous, by the way he pulled his phone out, closing you out. “all he did was help.” You said. “I said whatever drop it.” So you did, not wanting to get loud in public.

“Here you go.” Renjun came over holding a tray, sitting your things on the table. “Two americanos and a chocolate cake.” You nodded. “Thank you.” You smiled, he felt like he could go on for the rest of the day. “You’re welcome.”

Your boyfriend scoffed, once renjun walked away. “What?” you said, he put his phone away. “You seem so fond of him.” He took a sip of his drink, standing up, “wait where are you going? You said you’d stay until you have to go to work?” you frowned. “I suddenly got called in, you can stay, don’t waste that, call an uber home.” Before you could answer, he was leaving out the café door.

“What a fucking asshole.” Renjun turned to his co-worker. “Who?” he asked, looking around. “That couple over there, he just got up and left her.” He followed their eyes to you. “She looks so sweet, how she get stuck with a dick like that.”

Renjun saw your sad face as you picked with your cake, with a frown as you took a sip of your drink, grimacing at taste. “She didn’t even want that.” He said to himself. “What?” he shook his head. “i’m gonna make a hot chocolate and take my lunch break.”

‘I’m going out tonight, don’t wait up’ you closed out the message, not bothering to answer, getting extremely frustrated at your situation. “here.” A cup with steam was sat in front of you. “The hot chocolate you wanted.” Renjun sat in the seat where your boyfriend sat.

“You didn’t have to.” You said, “Don’t worry about, owner gives us a free drink every day.” You smiled, taking a sip. “Thank you.” He nodded. “it seems like I keep owing you for doing things.” You chuckle to yourself, he thought it was cute. “You seemed like you needed it anyway.”

You frowned, “I guess it’s pretty obvious.” You said. “That your boyfriend is a dick?” you chuckled, he smiled. “yeah I guess.” You said. “He wasn’t always like that though.”

“I believe you.” He said, “some people change, whether it’s good or bad, they change.” You nodded. “I guess.” He didn’t know you that well, but he just wanted to wrap his arms around you and hold you close to him. “Renjun! Your 15 minutes are up, let’s go!” he cursed under his breath, wanting to sit with you longer.

“it looks like duty calls.” You smiled at him, he got up. “are you gonna be here longer?” he asked. “I think i’m gonna finish this and then head home.” He nodded. “Renjun!” he turned to his coworker. “I’m coming!” you chuckled, “go before you get in trouble.” He smiled, you waved him off.

“Bye renjun.” You waved on your way out. “Bye yn.” He watched you get into your uber. “here.” His coworker slapped a tissue on the counter. “What is it?” he picked it up, reading the number. “I assumed she didn’t leave it for me.” He stuffed the tissue into his pocket, fighting back a smile as he got back to work, his mind full of you getting him through the rest of his shift.

He texted you that same night once he got home, you had told him that you were waiting for his call, which made his heart flutter — both of you talked and talked all evening, until jaemin came bursting through his door talking about hitting the bong with jeno, to which made you chuckle. “Ooh are you talking to a girl?” jaemin said in a singsong voice.

“Get the fuck out.” Renjun threw a pillow at the boy. “Hurry before it’s all gone.” He closed the door. “He seems fun.” Renjun scoffed. “he’s annoying.”

“we’ll i’ll let you go smoke with your friends.” He was gonna kill jaemin, you had mentioned earlier how you didn’t really enjoy the smell or the feeling of weed. “I don’t do it often I swear.” He felt like he had to prove it to you. “don’t worry i’m not a cop.” he smiled. “i’ll talk to you soon, I have to go feed peaches.” You said. “okay, I call you soon, tell peaches I said hello.”

“will do, bye renjun.”

“you ruin everything.” Renjun stepped out into the living room. “did I?” he said, “or does the fact she has a boyfriend ruin everything?” jaemin past him the bong. “Both.” He took a drag.

“Jesus he is a fucking asshole.” Jeno said, renjun had explained what happened today with you and your boyfriend. “Exactly, he is horrible.” He was livid just explaining it, you didn’t deserve that at all. “and she gave you her number.” He nodded. “I say go for it, her boyfriend is shit.” Jeno shrugged.

Upon hearing that from his friend, he tried to get to know you through text and calls — he learned so much about you, you were studying to be a teacher, you loved kids and it was your life’s dream to be a teacher. He also learned that peaches was your dog that your mother gave you before you moved out, that’s why you loved her so much.

Your text and calls, soon turned into FaceTime calls while you studied, or cleaned your room — he even accidentally called you while you were getting dressed, to which you quickly told him you’d call him right back, both of you spent hours talking to each other, growing closer and closer.

“When are you coming back to the café?” He sat on his bed, watching you crotchet a new plushie, on any other occasion, this would’ve bored him, but watching you look so happy while doing something you loved made him happy.

“Why? You miss me?” you teased he smiled. “Mmh, I do.” He said, watching you shy away. “s-stop it.” You said trying to hide your smile. “Besides that’s your job, you can’t slack off there by talking to me.” You said. “Well how can I see you if not at the café?”

You wondered that too, there was no way he could come over and hang out, your boyfriend would flip out. “We’ll make a way, I promise.” You held out your pinky, you were so cute. He laughed, mimicking you, holding out his pinky. “Promise.”

“I feel like i’m funding two homes, ours and haechans.” Renjun sat the snacks he bought on the table. “You all need to seek employment, your parents pay for everything and that’s the problem.” He said. “Okay daddy, sit down.” Haechan said. He scoffed, sitting down pulling out his phone. “whoa is that yn?” haechan said. “Why is she your lockscreen?” he had forgotten about that, it was a photo you sent him of you and peaches laying in ned, you looked so cute he couldn’t help himself.

“He didn’t tell you, he found himself falling in love with neighbor.” Jeno smirked, “spends hours and hours talking to her.” He threw the pillow at the boy. “Shut up jeno.”

“Good for you, and her — her boyfriend is constantly cheating, she needs payback.” Renjun shook his head. “we’re just talking.” He said. “she even calls him while she’s showering.” Jaemin said. “oh, it’s like that.” Haechan wiggled his eyebrows. “its not like that, it was once and by an accident.” He said. “did you see something?”

“No you fucking perv, she hung up and called me back once she was finished.” Haechan shrugged. “Look we’re not judging you, if you want to fuck my neighbor, go ahead.”

“We’re not fuck–.” He was cut off by a loud scream. “looks like they’re at it again.” Haechan said. “yn and her asshole of a boyfriend, please take her away so I can have some piece.” Haechan said, taking a puff of the blunt.

“It’s been going on for a while, one of them normally leaves by now.” Haechan said, just as you heard a door swing open. “get out!” he heard you yell. “i’m sorry I swear.” He also heard your boyfriend, he stood up. “wait jun, this is normal, it fine.” It didn’t seem normal though, he slowly opened the door just to hear.

“yn listen to me, i’m sorry.” Your boyfriend pleaded as you threw his close out the house. “no, not this time.” You screamed. “you hit me!” he had found the innocent text messages between you and renjun, and went mad, and when you told him that at least it was innocent unlike the ones with random girls.

He didn’t take too well to this, and words began flying back and forth. “you’re just an little idiot kid, you need to grow up.” Which resulted into you saying, “you’re almost thirty, how about you stop going out every night and fucking random drunk 20 year olds.” You didn’t even recognize what you said, nor did you have time to process anything before you felt the sting of his slap across your face.

That when you broke, all the anger and pain came flooding out of you. “yn.” You slapped him back, going to your room. “yn wait.” He said. “I want you gone.” You said. “yn you’re being irrational, let’s calm down.” He said, making you even more mad. “irrational? Irrational, you hit me.” You grabbed his clothes. “You made, you’re constantly pushing me.”

“I’ve allowed to much from you, i’ve had enough.” You opened the door, throwing his clothes out. “Get out!” you screamed.

“Baby please I didn’t mean to hit you, it’s just that you made me so mad.” Renjun felt his blood boiling. “Calm down.” Jeno said, “don’t go all crazy.” He listened, opening the door wider, stepped out, he wasn’t the only one, a few other people stood out watching everything go down.

“Look at this, you’re embarrassed me.” He watched your boyfriend. “You did that yourself.” You tossed more stuff out. “I said enough, stop being stupid.” Renjun had enough, fully walking out of the apartment. “just let me back in the apartment.”

“No.” You seem your boyfriends eyes darken again. “You bitch I said- hey!” renjun shouted, both of you turned your heads. “Renjun.” You said, wondering if he heard anything. “She said leave, then just go.”

The older man smirked, “what is this?” he questioned, “You called him or something.” You rolled your eyes. “I didn’t, just go, go stay at a hotel until you find an apartment to stay in.” you said. “Why so you fuck your new boyfriend in our bedroom, like the little whore you are?” your now ex was basically slandering you.

He then turned to renjun, “you want her?” he walked over to the boy, face to face. “You think she’ll stay with you, she’s fucking obsessed with me.” He smirked, renjun tightened his fist. “What? you’re gonna hit me, stupid kid, hit me, go ahead.” Renjun saw red, before swinging, you shrieked. “renjun.”

Your boyfriend stumbled back, his nose bleeding. “Now go.” Renjun said, but the guy just kept coming towards him, but before renjun could even do something jeno stepped in — now renjun wasn’t scared of the man at all, but jeno definitely had an upper hand on the guy, and the guy thought so to.

“Before you do something you do regret, just get your shit and leave.” The guy picked his stuff up, turning to you. “I’ll let you calm down.” He scoffed walking away.

“You, okay?” he said immediately going to your aid, everyone had long gone back into their apartments. “yeah i’m fine.” You said, a red bruise forming under your eye. “look at your eye.” He said. “I’m fine.” You said, and you genuinely were, you felt like for the first time you could breathe. “Some ice and i’ll feel so much better.”

You moved your body to the side, “you can come in.” he turned his head down the hall where his friends were ushering him to go in. “Unless you’re busy.” He shook his head. “N-no i’m not.” he walked into your apartment, your dog running up to him, jumping on his leg. “she likes you, that’s a good sign.”

You walk into the kitchen, grabbing a few heart shaped ice cubes putting them on a piece of tissue, putting it to your face. “How could he hit you, that fucking asshole.” His fist balling up again, you grabbed his hand, rubbing his knuckles. “i’m fine, you did more damage to his nose than he did to me.” You took the ice from your face, putting it on his hands. “He deserved it, how could he do that to your pretty face.”

“You think i’m pretty?” you smiled, teasingly. “Yah! at a time like this, you’re making jokes?” He couldn’t help but smile at you. “See, just smile, now we can hang out here.” You tried to find the bright side. “You want to hang out with me that bad.” He teased back. “Of course, I do.” His eyes flickered to your lips. “I really want to kiss you.”

You weren’t as shocked as you should’ve been, you both felt the tension during the phone calls and face-times — there was definitely something there. “Then kiss me.” He smiled, grabbing your chin, pulling you into a kiss.

He held you softly in arms, his hand on your waist and you passionately made out in your kitchen. He pulled away, giving you a few more pecks on your lips. “Been waiting to that since I first saw you.”

He grabbed your hand, guiding you back to your bedroom, pushing you softly on to the bed, climbing on top of your body. “renjun.” You sighed, your fingers tracing his jaw. “tell me what you want.” He said kissing your fingertips. “Will give you anything you want, you just gotta tell me.”

“I-I want you, please.” That was all he needed, before he was pulling you into another passionate kiss, you pulled at his belt loop, softly moaning into the kiss.

“Jun.” you whimpered as he left little kisses in the spot between your shoulder blades, his lips grazing your chest all the way down to your stomach, stopping right at your waistband. “pl-please do something.”

He tugged your shorts down, tossing them, the wet patch on your underwear telling him how much you wanted this. “You’re soaked baby, you really need me?” you bit your lip, nodding. “So cute baby.” He rubbed you through your panties, you whined. “n-no teasing.” You pouted. “I won’t tease baby, I promise.”

He pulled your panties down, your glistening cunt made his mouth water. “Fuck.” He sighed, kissing your clit. “Need to taste you.” He licked your cunt. “jun.” you moaned out, he took that as a sigh to keep going, licking at your folds, kissing your clit.

It felt so good, you haven’t felt like that in a while, grabbing his hair, pushing him further into your cunt. “Fuck renjun, s-so good.” You moaned, he hummed against your cunt, you felt your long-awaited orgasm approaching. “i’m gonna cum jun.” you moaned out loudly. “Fuck i’m cumming!” you moaned, thighs shaking around the boys' head as he licked up your juices, pushing you past your orgasm. “j-jun.”

He pulled away, licking his lips. “Shit pretty you came so quick.” He smirked, your face heated up, and you turned your head shyly. “Well he never…” He finally processed it. “You’ve never gotten head before.” You covered your face. “Stop it’s embarrassing.”

He took your hands away from your face, “no it’s not baby, what’s embarrassing is that sorry excuse of man, missed out on tasting your pretty cunt.” You moaned at his lewd words. “S’okay though.” He spoke. “Now you have me, i’ll eat that pretty cunt whenever you want, all you have to do is ask.”

He unbuckled his belt, climbing off you to get rid of his jeans, along with his underwear — climbing back on top of you, his cock was hard against his abdomen, leaking with pre-cum. “So pretty junie.” You reached down, stroking his cock. “Fu-fuck baby if I don’t get inside you I’m gonna explode.” He groaned, moving your hand from his cock, replacing it with his own, stroking himself as he lined his cock with your dripping hole.”

“Fu-fuck you’re so tight.” He grunted as he sunk deeper into your hole, hitting your cervix. “R-renjun.” You moaned. “S-so big.” He groaned, you clenched around him. “Fu-fuck don’t do that, i’ll cum if your pussy keeps clenching like that.” You moaned. “Pl-please move.”

He pulled back out, slamming right back into you, both of cursing out as began to move – his hips snapping against your with such vigor, he held your legs opened, fucking into you deeper. “Fuck this pretty cunt is driving me crazy.”

He lifted your shirt, toying with your nipples. “Pretty fucking baby, gonna take care of you.” He grunted. “gonna treat you way better than that fucking asshole.” You moaned, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. “that’s it baby, let yourself go, you gonna cum for me.” He pushed into you deeply, the curve of his cock hitting that spot that had you seeing stars. “fuck, you’re gonna cum?” he toyed with your clit. “y-yes.” You moaned. “Pl-please.”

“Go a head, cum for me.” He grunted, pinching your clit. “Cum for me pretty girl.” You let yourself go, your mouth dropping open as you came, squeezing him tightly. “Fuck” He quickly pulled out, cumming all over your cunt. “Shit.” He breathed out.

He was quick to kiss you once again, his hands coming up to yours, interlocking them. “You’re mines now.” He said pulling away, letting your hands go, caressing your face. “not ever gonna harm you, okay?” you smiled. “promise?” you held your pinky out, he laughed — you were still so cute. He interlocked your pinky, kissing your knuckles.

“I promise.”

©LUVYENI

[chaoticace2005]

The list of regrets I totally have and am not just writing because Charlie is making me, Vagina Vaggie is glaring at me, and I want the free rent:

By Angel Dust, 3 time X-X-X award winner.

(Warning, there is some victim blaming in this. The abuse Angel faces from Val is not his fault, but given that I’m writing this from his perspective I figured it would be something he’d add.)

1. Writing this list

2. Verbally complaining about writing this list cause now Vagina wants to stab me.

3. Only taking half my usual hit before starting today.

4. Complaining about not being high enough.

5. Not hiding my drugs better

6. Not having more stashes of drugs

7. Calling TV superior to radio.

8. Not killing that snake before he had a chance to go to the hotel.

9. Not “trying hard enough” at this shitty hotel.

10. Being too close to roof so the CRAZY BITCH COULD THROW ME OFF OF IT.

11. Walking up the stairs with Pentious only to have to go IMMEDIATELY BACK DOWN.

12. Signing my deal with fucking Valentino. Seriously I’m a fucking idiot.

13. Even suggesting the idea that Charlie should come to the studio. She’s just going to get hurt.

14. Mouthing off to Val.

15. Not getting Charlie out of the hotel sooner

16. Being such a pathetic, dick sucking ho who isn’t good at anything beyond sex.

17. Not being able to take all of this.

18. Not acting well enough cause some this bitchass cat is seeing through me.

19. Ever offering that bitchass cat my services.

20. Pushing Husk’s boundaries

21. Not being my true self.

22. Acting for so long I don’t even really know who my true self is

23. Being a dick to Charlie

24. Being a dick to Husk

25. Being a dick to everyone

26. Putting my dick in a vacuum cleaner.

27. Calling Smiles a creepy dommy daddy.

28. Letting Niffty know about some of my more kinky films. She’s getting ideas…

29. Trying to play poker with Husk (and not even strip poker!)

30. Testing if my venom works on myself (it doesn’t and now I have pink bite marks)

31. Leaving what I used to clean my bites out because somehow Alastor found them and is now TEMPORARILY PARALYZED AND I DONT WANT HIM TO KILL ME WHEN HE CAN MOVE AGAIN.

32. Not answering Val’s texts.

33. Wearing boots. Seriously these things hurt sometimes.

34. Having ugly feet so I can’t NOT wear boots.

35. Tracking mud into the hotel

36. Mentioning sex around the Egg Bois because now I have to explain what it is.

37. Describing sex as something their boss “has never had,” it got back to Pentious and I’m scared.

38. Mentioning “Vox” anywhere in Alastor’s vicinity.

39. Agreeing to play Monopoly with Niffty. In general Monopoly sucks but Niffty likes to get knives involved?!?!

40. Getting addicted to drugs.

41. Getting caught in that alleyway by my BITCHASS brother.

42. Not trying harder for Molly.

43. Not saying goodbye.

44. Fucking overdosing.

45. Doing literally fucking nothing with my life and nothing with my death.

46. Taking the easy was out and doing whatever pops told me to

47. Yelling “FUCK” loudly in church that one time

48. Not teaching these people at the hotel how to FUCKING MAKE SPAGHETTI RIGHT?!

49. Getting high with Cherri.

50. Telling Val to “fuck off”

51. Flirting with that one cannibal guy because now they all seem to want to EAT ME (and not in the sexy way)

52. Leaving those pot brownies out. High cannibals, Egg Boiz, and Nifftys are terrifying.

53. Letting myself be named “Angel” because this makes shit too damn confusing plus I think Niffty wants to KILL ME?!

54. Not spending more time with these losers

55. Not opening myself up to Husk sooner.

56. Being too much of a coward to tell him how I feel.

57. Mentioning Pent has two dicks to Cherri cause she won’t stop asking about it.

58. Not doing enough to save Pentious.

59. Not telling him how much he means to me.

60. Trying to lift way more than I should have. Apparently six arms doesn’t mean I’m super strong.

61. Calling Niss a short motherfucker who nobody likes. I’m sorry, I’ll be better (and call him something even worse next time.)

62. Still being too much of a coward to tell Husk how I feel.

63. Flirting with Husk in Italian when he UNDERSTOOD ME THIS WHOLE DAMN TIME?!

64. Getting a room on the same side of the building as Alastor’s because he keeps laughing at 3 in the morning???

65. Kissing Husk in public. Val is mad.

66. Trying to even have a boyfriend with Val around. It’s stupid.

67. Calling yourself stupid for wanting to have a boyfriend.

68. Giving my boyfriend access to this list.

69. No regrets. Only 69. :D (Jesus Christ you’re a child.)

[cjsoleil]

Taking My Time On My Ride (Changbin x Reader)

Summary: Neither Changbin or Y/N thought they would meet their soulmates on a roller coaster, but they’re glad they did.

Authors note: This short work is inspired by my friend’s love for Changbin, my fear of roller coasters and that one skz code episode. @bbchangbinnie24

When Wooyoung suggested that Yeonjun and him should go to an amusement park together, Changbin thought nothing of it. Spending time with the two boys is fun. All until Yeonjun pointed towards the biggest roller coaster at the park.

“Yeah let’s go.” Wooyoung agrees enthusiastically and Yeonjun looks to the other with them.

“Will you be okay Changbin?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” The two stare at him.

“Oh I don’t know.” Wooyoung shrugs, “Maybe because you get scared.”

“I do not.” He protested, shaking his head. He isn’t scared, he just doesn’t love roller coasters.

“Right.” Yeonjun says, “Let’s get in line then.” Changbin was most definitely not dreading going on the ride.

‘I hate them.’ Y/N thinks as she sits down in the seat in front of her friends. She’s with two other people, and each seat of the roller coaster only fits two people. Unfortunately, she’s the one left alone.

“Sorry Y/N.” The girl doesn’t turn around, but does hold up her middle finger to the two. They only laugh in response. How dare they leave her by herself when she didn’t even want to go on the ride in the first place. More people are loaded onto the ride, and Y/N isn’t surprised when someone is told to sit next to her.

What is surprising is how gorgeous the man who’s sitting next to her is. He has super muscular arms, and a cute soft face to contrast. Really, the best looking person she’s ever been physically close to.

Catching her staring, he smiles at her.

“Hi.” He says and her eyes widen.

“Hi.” Y/N looks away for a few seconds before she starts to speak, “Let me guess, odd one out?”

“Yep.” The man laughs, and gestures to the cart in front of them.

“Me too.” And Y/N changed her mind, she loves her friends for leaving her by herself.

“Just so you know, I’m terrified. So sorry in advance if I scream so loud it deafens you.” The man grins at her.

“I won’t be much better. Why are you here if you're terrified?”

“My friends paid me to not be a coward.”

“Good reason.” The bar that keeps them secure is brought down, signaling the ride will start soon.

Unconsciously, Y/N wraps her arm around the man’s muscular one before realizing what she’s even doing.

“Oh- I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He lifts and playfully flexes his arm, “Hold onto me.”

“Really?”

“If it brings you any comfort, go for it.” Y/N smiles and wraps her arm back around the man’s. She feels him flex against her arm.

“I got you.” Before she can respond, the ride starts to move. Both of them grab onto the bar tightly as they start to move across the track.

‘Oh my god oh my god-‘ Y/N repeats in her mind as they start to go up. The part she’s been dreading, a drop. ‘I’m gonna die, die next to a pretty man who I don’t know the name of.’

“My name’s Changbin.” The man next to her shouts, making Y/N jerk her head towards him.

“Fuck I said that outloud!” She exclaims and speaks so fast Changbin just barely made it out, “Hi Changbin, My name is Y/N. Nice to-“ her words are cut off with both their screams as they go off the edge of the tallest part of the ride. She almost doesn’t register the feeling of Changbin’s arm tightening around her own.

“I hate this!” He yells next to her as the ride slows down slightly, “I hate this!” She turns to look at him and sees a few tears streaming down his face. If she was less petrified, it would have been funny to see such a strong guy cry because of a rollercoaster.

“Oh you’re crying.” She tells him, gasping for air.

“You are too.” The ride starts to speed up again and they both scream, “I can’t do this!”

When the ride is finally over, the two are quick to get out and onto the ground again. Both have seemingly forgotten about the existence of their friends.

“That was horrible.” Y/N pants out, looking at Changbin. He’s shorter than she thought he would be. ‘Cute’ she thinks as she wipes the tears off her face.

“Wasn’t even scary.” Changbin comments as he wipes his own.

“Oh yeah, you were really stoic out there. With the screaming and crying.” She gestures to her arm, “I think you squeezed me so tightly I bruised.”

“I’m sorry-“

“No no, I’m just kidding.” Y/N looks away from him for a second, blood rushing to her face, “Thank you, for letting me know hold onto you. And keeping me company.” The man smiles sweetly and hesitantly lifts his hand. When he sees Y/N nod slightly, he pats her hair down, fixing it.

“No problem.” Changbin smiles, “You’re pretty too.”

“What?” Y/N feels her face get warmer, to the tips of her ears.

“On the ride, you said I was pretty. You’re very pretty too.” He says bashfully, looking over to the side and seeing Yeonjun and Wooyoung staring at him.

“I should probably-“ “Do you want to-“ They start at the same time before stopping.

“You go first.” Changbin insists.

“I was gonna ask if you wanted to get, um, ice cream or something with me? But you go with your friends.” The man hums.

“You said you're here with your friends too. They won’t mind me stealing you away?” The girl looks to her friends, seeing them staring at her and making shooing motions.

“…Trust me. Me being with a guy is probably the most entertaining thing that’s happened all month for them.” She looks back at Changbin, “Will yours?”

“Please. They’d be mad if I didn’t go with a pretty girl.” He winks, “You said ice cream?”

“Ah yes. The way to a man’s heart is the stomach. We can go on a ride that’s more our speed too. Carousel?”

“Sure. You want to hold my arm again?” He teases, and she’d be lying if she said no.

“Maybe later.”

Exactly three years later, the two find themselves at the same park. On the same ride where they met, waiting to move.

“Are you going to cry again, Binnie?”

“That never happened. I can distinctly remember you sobbing and hugging my arm like a stuffed animal though.” Y/N flicks his cheek and kisses it after he whines.

“Liar.” The bar is brought down and Y/N taps her fingers on it.

“We haven’t been here in a while. Think it will be less horrible.” Changbin nods, grabbing her hand.

“Yeah. We have grown and this ride will not scare us. Not that it was scary the first time.”

“Oh okay tough guy.” Y/N laughs and lets go of his hand, “You’ll let me hold onto you?”

“Anytime babe.”

“Oh my god no!” Y/N screams as they speed up.

“It’s worse, how is it worse!” Changbin yells.

“Bin if i die know i love you!”

“I love you too!” It isn’t until the ride slows for the cart to go up. Changbin takes a deep breath in before saying,

“Y/N.”

“Yeah?” Changbin gulps and she looks to see the tears in his eyes.

“I knew you would cry-“

“Will you marry me?” Y/N eyes widen.

“What-“ They go over the edge, and they both scream out.

“What!”

“Marry me Y/N!” Changbin yells again as they speed up, “Be my wife!”

“Yes!” Y/N cries out right before the ride slows down. In a minute the get off and on the ground Changbin kisses her harshly before pulling away and wrapping his arms around his waist. “Seriously? You’ll marry me?”

“Of course I will. I love you more than anything. ” Y/N hugs Changbin close.

“I love you too. I’m so happy.” He cups her face, wiping the tears on her face, “Sorry, it wasn’t that romantic. I didn’t plan on proposing like that. I was going to do it at home, at the end of the day. But I guess I couldn’t wait”

“Wasn’t romantic?” Y/N repeats tilting her head, “We met on this ride years ago today. It’s where our relationship started. Sounds romantic to me. Not traditional, sure, but I like being unique.” Y/N leans forward and kisses the man’s lips softly, then his slightly damp cheek.

“Tears of happiness right?” Changbin scoffs.

“Why else would I be crying?” Y/N laughs, and pats his face lovingly.

“No other reason. Let’s go home, celebrate our engagement.“ She feels giddy just saying the word.

“Actually I kind of want to go on the ride again.” He jokes, but doesn’t laugh when he sees the expression Y/N is making.

“Really?” She leans in, whispering in Changbin’s ear, “Because I know a ride I would rather go on.” She taps her index finger against his bottom lip, and it makes his heart beat even faster than it was on the actual roller coaster.”

“Let’s go!” Changbin exclaims and Y/N grabs his arm so he can pull his fiancé along.

“Should we get married here too?” He teases, and his laugh could probably be heard from across the country when she frantically shakes her head.

“God no.”

[scooburst]

I’m a coward? No you are you won’t even answer my asks because you’re scared too. You know I’m right anyway, you say yourself that you’re just annoying and stupid and I agree, but now you call me a hypocrite for saying jt genuinely? Im not going to stop just cuz you asked or because your mutuals are mad. Whatre they even gonna do Anywya. You won’t even do anything about it, just leaving it to them. This is your fault.

oh. That’s a lot of words.

Long post warning.

But honestly I’m kinda tired of you. I know you’re just saying this for your own satisfaction of making someone feel shitty, but honestly this is pathetic. Can’t even come up with your own shit. I know you’ve just scrolled through to find something to use against me and dug up my vent posts. I don’t even know what I did to you. But you’re really calling me a coward for not answering? You’re a coward for not coming off of anon. Who the fuck even are you?? And you really go and say I’m jsut going to let everyone else stand up for me? I didn’t ask them too. I wouldn’t have cared if they all just ignored this. But they did and they’re good people for it.

And let’s see what other bullshit you said. Oh, I’m not doing anything about it. Right. Well guess what, I’m standing up for myslef now.

And yeah maybe I said I was annoying and stupid but that’s just some self deprecation I deal with at times. That doesn’t give you an excuse to go and say all this shit. Once was enough. You can go now.

I bet if I turned off anon, you would leave becuase you’re so scared that I or anyone else would go after you, so you hide behind the anonymous cover. So I’ll turn it off. Let’s see what you do now.

[ipromiseimlying-blog1]

Excerpt from my fic: "The Soul Burns Brighter Than The Sun" (on ao3)

Dean musters up the courage and finally opens his mouth, “What would it be like?”

Dean internally cringes at how choked up his voice sounds, but he asks it anyway because he’s a piece of shit who likes to have his cake and taste it without eating it at all. He’s a coward, but he’s a coward who wishes he wasn’t.

“What would what be like?” Cas asks. 

“You and me.”

Cas takes a second to respond, and Dean scrubs at the casserole dish with his sponge like he’s not waiting for world-shattering news. 

“It would be good.” Cas finally says, voice confident and scared at the same time. “It would be right.”

“How so?” Dean asks. 

The sound of Cas’s footsteps tell Dean that the angel is waking over, but slowly. So slowly like he’s worried he’ll startle Dean into running away. They come to a halt just behind where Dean’s washing the dishes, elbows in the suds, fingers pruned from the water. He can feel the few feet of space between them like a physical ache. 

“It wouldn’t be any different,” Cas says, like it’s the simplest thing in the world, to love. “Than how we are right now. Nothing would change.” 

“What the hell does that mean?” Dean whispers, his voice weak. 

“It means…” Cas starts. “I’d be there for you when you wake up, and I’d be there for you during your nightmares, making sure that none dare to haunt you. We’ll go on hunts whenever you want and take care of them together. We’ll watch movies in your room or in the Dean Cave.” Dean hears the twitch in Cas’s lips as they turn to a small smile. “Maybe even go for long walks on the beach.”

Dean snorts, but it comes out choked. He doesn’t know what to say so he scrubs the casserole dish. 

“If nothing changed physically between us, I’d be content. But I’d love to kiss you when you asked me to, make love to you when you ask for it, and–-” Cas’s voice drops, but Dean knows it’s not for effect, it’s just the way the words leave Cas’s mouth that make them darker. “Fuck you when you need me to.”

Dean inhales sharply, and continues washing the dish he’s holding. “That’s a lot, Cas.”

He hears a soft shifting of clothing, likely a shrug, something human that Cas has picked up from Dean. “I used to try not to… fantasize about things that could never happen, but I’ve realized it might be a lot closer than I think, and I’d like to be prepared.”

“Buddy, it’s not–”

“Is it?” Cas says, and there’s two more step falls and then he’s pressed along Dean’s back, not hard, just there. One of Cas’s hands grips the counter with–-what Dean thinks–-is enough force to dent it, but his other hand is gentle against Dean’s hip. 

Dean’s hands stutter over the dish, and he almost drops it. “It’s not happening man. I–It can’t.”

Cas hums, and Dean feels his breath ghost over his neck, feels the sound reverberate in Cas’s chest against his back. “Tell me to stop then.” 

Stop, Dean thinks. Don’t stop. Never stop touching me. I can’t take it when you leave.

“Cas–” His hands shake, and he puts the dish down in the sink so he won’t break it. The glass clatters against the metal of the sink bottom and Dean raises his eyes to the ceiling. “We can’t.”

“Give me a reason.” 

“It wouldn’t work. We drive each other crazy, and I can’t–you can’t leave. I can’t take it when you do.”

“Then I won’t leave.”

Dean wants to laugh. He feels six years old again, begging their dad to stay a little longer with them while Sammy’s sick, because Dean gets grossed out when he has to clean up his brother’s puke.

It’s time to grow up, Dean. John had said. You know why I need to go. Pick up the slack while I’m gone.

He feels like his twenty-two year old self, seeing Sam’s Stanford acceptance letter, knowing there’s nothing he can do to make him stay. Watching John grow red, to blue, to purple in the face, screaming and yelling at Sammy. You walk out that door there, don’t bother coming back.

At the time, Dean didn’t know if he was gonna see Sam again, so he drove his kid brother to the bus station. Sam had always been the soft one, talking back and not following John’s orders, and Dean sat there in silence as Sam pretended he wasn’t tearing up. 

Dean had watched his little brother walk away, seeing the duffle bag filled with clothes and weapons and books that looked too heavy for him to carry. Sammy! Dean yelled. 

Sam had turned, his eyes rimmed with red. 

Dean charged him and wrapped him in a bear hug. Watch out for yourself, bitch.

Sam choked out a laugh, holding on tight, hands balled into fists against Dean’s back, holding him there like he didn’t know if he’d ever get a hug like this again. Jerk. 

Dean’s always had people leave him, and he’s always let them go. 

“You say that, Cas, but you’re always leaving.” Dean chokes. Cas is warm where he’s pressed against Dean’s back, and Dean can’t help himself as he leans into the feeling.

Cas’s thumb rubs against Dean’s hip, at the denim and flannel wrapped around his body. “You’ve never asked me to stay before.”

“I wanted to–” Dean rushes out like word vomit, like the truth he’s been meaning to say for years. “I should’ve.” 

“Ask me then.” 

“No, you asshole.”

“I’m not leaving, Dean, so long as you want me here.”

“I–”

But then Cas kisses his shoulder, and Dean’s whole body is lit on fire by the simple press of skin to the cotton of his flanneled shoulder. 

“So the first problem is negated, I won’t leave. Problem solved.” Cas continues their conversation like he never interrupted it by kissing Dean’s shoulder in the first place. In fact, Dean doesn’t think he’s ever been kissed on his shoulder before. Before he can shove that thought away, his brain wraps its arms around the feeling of Cas behind him, his lips pressing to Dean’s clothed skin, and files it away for safekeeping. “What are the other reasons?” 

Dean knows there are more reasons, but goddamn he can’t think of any. Cas is warm against his back, and Cas’s chin rests on Dean’s shoulder, right over where he kissed it. 

“Uhm,” Dean’s brain helpfully supplies. It’s too busy cradling it’s new favorite memory close to his chest. “You’re a guy.” 

“Hmm. How much of a problem is that?”

Not very much, Dean’s dick supplies. Dean tells his dick to shut up. 

“It’s a problem.” Is what he says instead. 

Cas doesn’t miss a beat though. “I could be in a female vessel if you prefer, although I’ve grown so fond of this one. It feels more like my body than anything else has.”

And that breaks Dean’s heart because Cas has lived through millennia, seen continents move and civilizations come and go, but this body, the one that Dean stabbed when they first met, is the one that Cas feels at home in. 

“No.” Dean interjects. “I don’t want you to have a different vessel.”

Cas presses his lips to Dean’s shoulder again, not a kiss though, this time, Dean feels Cas’s lips spread into a shy smile. “So how much of a problem is it, then?”

“It’s–it’s not.”

Cas hums, and the hand resting against Dean’s hip skates upward and under Dean’s shirt, just touching the warm skin there, like Cas is stealing whatever he can get away with. “Alright, so what else?”

Dean’s brain grasps at straws. He had a list. Where the hell is it?

“We drive each other crazy.” Dean blurts out. “And you listen to shitty music.”

“Ah, right. You did mention that we drive each other crazy.” Cas murmurs, and he leans forward so that his lips whisper against Dean’s ear, and goosebumps spread along Dean’s skin. “Think about how that would translate into sex, then.”

Dean swallows. 

“As for the music.” Cas continues. “I think I can come up with ways to make it up to you.”

And then Cas fucking kisses his neck, right below Dean’s ear, on his pulse point like a bullseye. Like maybe Cas was scouting that spot out for a while. Like maybe Cas fantasized about doing exactly that. Like maybe Dean kinda wanted him to do it too, because Dean’s lit up from head to toe like a fucking teenager from one little kiss on the neck from his best friend. 

Dean audibly gasps, and he feels Cas smile against his neck. Cas’s hand presses more firmly against Dean’s ribs, the very ribs Cas rebuilt and then carved sigils into. 

“Don’t think that I didn’t notice–” Cas says huskily. “That not one of your reasons was that you don’t return my feelings.” 

Cas’s hand leaves his skin, and there’s a shocking wash of cold, as if somebody’s dumped an ice bucket on his back once Cas steps away from him and walks out of the kitchen. 

Dean stands there for five whole minutes, his heart racing and breathing hard until he calms down enough to close his eyes and relax. He picks up the casserole dish and finishes washing it. 

[shatterinseconds]

broody

Keithtober ‘22 day 1

Keith isn’t brooding. No matter what Lance likes to say, he doesn’t brood.

He’s just standing surly in the corner watching other people flirt with Lance. He shouldn't be allowed to brood feel jealous, not when he’s never expressed his own feelings, choosing instead to bottle them up tight. He doesn’t deserve this feeling because he’s a coward and other people are just doing what he should’ve had the courage to do all along. Maybe he’s not jealous that they’re flirting with Lance, just jealous that they’re able to do so without a care in the world.

Wrapped up in pointedly not staring at Lance, Keith completely misses when Lance steps right up to him. He contains the jump in shoulders when he hears that familiar voice so close to him.

“Who pissed in your cheerios, Broody McBroodster?”

He whips his head up to stare at Lance, brow furrowed and mouth curled in distaste. Lance’s nicknames just get worse each passing day. “What happened to ‘Mullet’?”

Lance shrugs. “Trying out something new.” He places his hands on his hips, studying Keith’s expression. All of them decided to stay in their paladin uniforms, but Keith knows Lance was upset about missing a chance to dress up—Lance looks really good in his uniform, so Keith couldn’t lose either way. “But I can see you don’t like that one so I’ll try again. What the fuck is up with you tonight, Mullet?”

“Nothing,” he immediately snaps back. A faint blush rises to his cheeks.

“You’ve been standing around all night looking like you’re planning to murder us all.” Lance waves to the large group before them. Most have partnered up to step onto the dance floor. High pitched music that hurts Keith’s ears starts to waft up from the alien band. They saved the planet, and in return, the citizens decided to throw them a grand party. “This is a celebration.”

“I’m keeping watch to make sure nothing is going to spring up on u—”

“Eh, wrong!” Lance makes an annoying buzzing noise, crossing his arms in an X in front of him. Keith desperately wants to shut him up by kissing him but restrains himself. “Tonight’s about having fun. Nothing is going to happen to us; we’re safe.” He adds the last part in a softer tone, expression gentle, but almost immediately the teasing returns. “Is this because you don’t know how to dance?”

“What? No!”

“I’m definitely right. Always am.”

Keith scowls, trying to turn away from Lance but he won’t let him. “Go have fun somewhere else.”

“Keith.” Lance says his name so softly that Keith has no choice but to stare at him and his outstretched hand. “Dance with me.” 

For the first time that evening, Keith decides to be courageous.

[walder-138]

What does the word "friend" means to you?

Do you prefer to show affection first, or to receive affection first?

What are you searching for in people?

For Annika and Oz please!! <3 have a lovely day darl!

Hi Goose! I’m gonna have the asshole twins answer these questions for you!

Oz: “What do you mean? Someone who uh, is a buddy? Y’know, you watch the hockey game with ‘em, pop open a ice cold beer, and just, hangout y’know? You don’t gotta worry none ‘bout looking and acting all nice and fancy. You can just, y’know, be. And if it don’t feel like you can just BE around them, then they ain’t friends. Is that good enough?” (his dumbass doesn’t know 💀)

Annika: “Bitch, don’t you have a dictionary? I-“

*elbows her*

“Fuck was that for? Ohhhh you want the philosophical answer? Of course you do. Cheesy shit, I understand. A friend means someone who you will do anything for. Including, but not limited to violating restraining orders, torture, blackmail, and showing up to her house uninvited because SHE WON’T CALL ME BACK. IT’S BEEN 3 YEARS YELENA. YOU TOLD ME HE CHEATED ON YOU SO I LEFT HIS BEHEADED CORSPE ON YOUR PATIO. RETURN MY CALLS 😡🤬” (Maybe Adler did the right thing with this one 💀)

Next question:

Oz: “I guess I’d rather give then get. I don’t know, the feeling of someone’s hand on my cheek or sum’ reminds me how much I don’t deserve it. I’ve fucked up too many times to let myself have that love.” (Oz hates hugging from people he doesn’t know, but if it’s like his gf or Jenny dudebro will not let go. Like if they hugged him out of nowhere he WILL multitask. It doesn’t matter what he was doing beforehand. He’s the best hugger out there. I’m on the fence about giving him a girlfriend or anything cause it’s him, but I definitely wanna explore his love life sooner or later.)

Annika: “Neither, I’m not a pussy.” (Liar. Just LOOK AT HER. Annika loves being the center of somebody’s attention. She’s the biggest cuddlebug known to man. Annika definitely prefers receiving. She won’t admit it, but she LOVES laying on people. It’s the only time she shuts up. If some unfortunate woman had to share a bed with her, Annika’s gonna end up clinging onto her in her sleep. She’s definitely an affection-biter)

Next Question:

Oz: “I’m assuming you mean like in a romantic way. I don’t usually seek anyone. Same thing as last question, don’t feel like I’ve earned it yet. I’ve gotta get my head in shape, and I ain’t putin’ any ladies through my shit. Made that mistake with Jenny’s mom.

If I were normal? Definitely want someone good with kids. Jenny’s the only good thing I have in this world, and there ain’t no floozie bouta drive me apart from her. None of that “I hate kids” bullshit around me. People act like kids are different species. No, they just don’t give enough shits to actually listen to them. Also like me a woman who ain’t too shabby at sports, and can give me a run for my money.” (I should send him to therapy)

Annika: “What I search for in people is loyalty. I don’t care who you are, where you came from, but loyalty always overpowers everything else. If you can’t pledge loyalty to one cause, then why should I think you have my best interest in heart? At least if I disagree with you, I know you’re not a coward. The only thing worse than cowardice is treachery. If you conform with a group’s ideal, how do I know you think for yourself?” (girl can go from unhinged to well-spoken in seconds 💀)

[necnnights]

In which Yumi has an overdue conversation.

FEATURING: Kikuchi Yumi, Go Sungjae, Go Hwajung, Choi Eunbyul

SETTING: November 2023

WORD COUNT: 3.2k

NOTES: A direct sequel (very direct) to their last piece.

SUNGJAE, 2:42 PM: thanks? SUNGJAE, 2:42 PM: what is this abt lol

Yumi stares at the two texts on Hwajung’s phone. 

“I knew he wouldn’t admit it,” Hwajung says. She leaves her phone on the marble countertop and leans back in her bar stool as far as the chair will let her.

“He could be telling the truth,” Eunbyul says cautiously, tucking her hair behind her ear and leaning forward to further scrutinize the message.

“He’s always on his phone. He wouldn’t take two days to respond to me.”

“You haven’t said anything to him for over a week,” Yumi says.

Hwajung throws her hands up in the air. “I have nothing to say! What the fuck is he expecting from me?”

“A conversation,” comes Eunbyul’s response. She’s scrolling up through the history of their text messages, which are sparse with days and weeks between them. “You text each other like almost estranged friends. Nothing other than happy birthday.”

Hwajung turns to Yumi. “You need to talk to him. In person.”

“Me?” Yumi asks, shocked. He’s Hwajung’s brother. And Yumi never really liked him.

“You never liked him,” Hwajung says, as if she’s read Yumi’s mind, “so you have to do it. Out of the three of us, you’re the most neutral.”

She really doesn’t want to do that. “What if I ask Myunghoon to do it?” she asks. She knows their ex-keyboardist is on better terms with him than any of the three of them.

Now Eunbyul is staring at her too. “You’re dating him again?”

Yumi nods. Their activities have been stagnant for a few months now, and so she reached back out to him and asked if he wanted to get a drink. One thing led to another, and now they’ve settled somewhat uneasily into their years old routine of girlfriend and boyfriend. She knows he deserves someone better than her, someone who isn’t constantly jet-setting across the Sea of Japan every few months. It’s hard for someone as consistent as him to date someone as inconsistent as her.

“He’s a coward,” Hwajung says with a scoff. “Sungjae would deny it, and Myunghoon would believe him. Yumi won’t let him do that.”

She says the last part with pride, and now the last thing Yumi wants is to let her down.

“Anyway, I don’t see what you see in him at all. He’s like a wet piece of cardboard.”

“Mingeun,” Yumi reminds her, because if Myunghoon is a wet piece of cardboard, then Mingeun is a slightly damp one, at the very least. She knows it was her fault for pushing him to ask Hwajung out, but it was for her own sanity. She couldn’t stand seeing Hwajung giggling over her phone and waking up much too early to spend time with him and kicking her feet and twirling her hair in a way that was so much unlike her. To be honest, Yumi had expected them to date for a few months before breaking up, and then Hwajung would be back to the person she knows.

Yumi shifts uncomfortably under the force of Hwajung’s glare.

“Sungjae,” Eunbyul prompts, and that redirects both of their attentions.

“You have to talk to him,” Hwajung says squarely, suddenly unemotional and logical. “I’m his sister. Eunbyul-unnie is his ex-girlfriend. That leaves only you.” 

She remembers Eunbyul’s break up almost like it was yesterday: the utter silence that terrified high school Yumi and nearly fractured the band, Sungjae’s despondence and desperation to get Eunbyul back, and the cold shoulder she gave all of them for months until she finally told Hwajung and Yumi she was a lesbian. It’s an understatement to say Sungjae isn’t on good terms with her, so Yumi resigns herself to her fate.

It’s much, much harder to get hold of Sungjae than it should be. He reads her text asking if they can meet and catch up within the first five minutes. Then he goes four days without responding.

(“I told you so,” Hwajung says smugly when Yumi complains.)

They pick a date and a place. Then something comes up half an hour before, and Sungjae cancels just as Yumi finishes getting ready. 

(“Don’t dress up for him,” Hwajung says disapprovingly, but Yumi needs to intimidate him.)

Yumi goes out anyway, taking Eden with her. She regrets it a few hours later as she holds Eden’s hair back while she throws up in the parking lot outside of their apartment building.

Sungjae cancels a second time, and then a third.

Yumi suggests she visit the Go household instead.

Hwajung is horrified. “That’s his home territory. You can’t do that. And you know my parents would take his side.”

Yumi does know that, but Sungjae is pissing her off so much that by the time their meeting is finalized, she’s in such a foul mood she doesn’t want to go.

“I should make him wait,” she says as she curls her bangs into soft waves, staring at her reflection in the bathroom mirror.

“He’ll leave if you aren’t there on time then blame it on you,” Hwajung says from right outside the doorway.

So Yumi goes, scowl fixed permanently to her face.

She beats him to the restaurant, and chooses the seat of their reserved table with the view of the entrance. Then she waits.

Sungjae doesn’t arrive until twenty minutes after their agreed upon time. By then, Yumi is almost finished with her first two plates, because she needs to eat to keep from grinding her teeth to shreds.

Sungjae offers no explanation. He doesn’t say hello. He just sits in the seat opposite her and picks up the menu. Then he says, "I thought you had higher standards than conveyor belt sushi."

In any other circumstance, she would. She watches Sungjae flag down a waiter and order a fuckton of sashimi. Surreptitiously, Yumi starts a voice recording on her Notes app. Then she places her phone face down on the table in front of her.

Sungjae looks up at her and says, "You're paying, right?"

She silently points out the individual plate slots on the side of the table closest to the conveyor belt.

"Separate checks," she says, reveling in the way Sungjae's face morphs with displeasure.

"I heard you're going out with Myunghoon again," he says suddenly. "Trying to two-time him again with me? You know that would destroy a guy like him."

Yumi cuts him off. "Shut up. I wouldn't fuck you, even if we were the last two people in the world."

She’s never cheated on him. She’s seen other people when they weren’t seeing each other. She figures Sungjae is projecting.

"Not for the future of humanity?" Sungjae asks jokingly, but in such a sleazy manner it makes her want to rip his throat out.

Yumi tells herself she’s doing this for Hwajung and sits on her hands. She doesn’t want to be here for any longer than she has to, and at the rate things are going, it’s already been too long. So she gets straight to the point when she states, factually, “You wrote Jaesun’s album.”

Sungjae looks at her with a calm expression. Then he picks a toro plate off the conveyor belt. Yumi expects him to lie, to ask who Jaesun is, to say he hasn’t written music for anyone she would know.

She watches him pick up one of the pieces and then chew for a few minutes. Eventually, he swallows, and says, “Actually, I wrote both of Jaesun-ssi’s albums.”

“Okay,” Yumi says, slightly stunned. She didn’t expect him to admit to it so easily. “Why?”

“Because it’s a job,” Sungjae says, like it’s obvious. “I owed a favor to one of my friends who knows one of his friends. It’s mutually beneficial. Symbiotic.”

It makes sense, but she doesn’t like it. 

“Did you know he was part of our company?”

Sungjae’s expression contorts into an ugly grimace, but his words are smooth and pleasant. “I didn’t. It's a coincidence. Small world, isn't it? Does this have anything to do with my sister? Is that why you wanted to talk?"

"Yes," Yumi says, because unlike him, she doesn't see the point in lying. She also sees how he tried to change the subject. “How could you not know he was a Zenith artist?”

She could think of a number of plausible reasons. It’s possible they never talked about it. It could be Jaesun’s fault. Sungjae could have forgotten the transgressions Taein supposedly committed against him. Yumi finds the last reason extremely unlikely. She doesn’t say any of them out loud so as to not give him any ideas.

“We have a strictly professional relationship. He never mentioned his company,” Sungjae says. He gives her a pointed look, and adds, “Something you’re clearly unfamiliar with. Fucking Myunghoon-ah and all.”

Yumi clenches her teeth and chews furiously. She refuses to let him get a rise out of her. “We’re talking about Jaesun,” she says, teeth still clenched.

“We talked about Jaesun-ssi,” Sungjae says. He tilts in head in what must be faux innocence. “There’s nothing else to say.”

There is. There has to be. Yumi searches for anything else she can ask, though she briefly wonders if she should cut her losses and leave. Sungjae can gorge himself on as much sashimi as he can afford. She doesn’t fucking care.

“Why did you write a rock album?” she asks.

“Jaesun-ssi is the first person who’s commissioned me who let me do what I want,” he says. “I suppose I was a little like Icarus.” He grins. “Get it? Because his name is Jason, like the Greek hero—”

“I get it,” Yumi interrupts. She doesn’t find him funny.

“I miss it,” Sungjae continues, staring down at his plate. He suddenly looks like the young man he is, having lost most of the bravado he walked in with. “We had something special.”

She won’t feel bad for him, no matter how much he tries to gain sympathy from her. “You could start another band.”

“I can’t,” he snaps quickly. “I don’t get along with Hwajung anymore but she’s—”he swallows hard—”she’s a really talented musician. And Eunbyul-noona? You’ll never find anyone else willing to give up a professional symphony career to be in an indie band with their high school friends.”

Hwajung is going to love that. She’ll probably hold it over her brother for the rest of their lives, and then Sungjae will also hate Yumi for luring him here under not quite honest pretenses and recording their conversation. She waits to hear her name.

A beat later, Sungjae belatedly adds, “I’m sure your bass-playing has improved.”

He never mentions Myunghoon. Yumi makes a mental note to let him know later, because it seems like the polite thing to do. 

“You know too, don’t you?” he asks. “It was different when it was the five of us.”

Yumi nods hesitantly, because she does know. It was different. She also knows she has different reasons for thinking that. Her reasons start and end with Eden and Qiuyun, and have absolutely nothing to do with Sungjae and Myunghoon.

Sungjae leans back in his seat. “Fucking Lee Taein.”

“Fucking Lee Taein,” she echoes, though again, for different reasons. She knows he has a grudge against Taein. She just needs to connect it back to Jaesun and his new work.

“So what else are you up to now? Other than writing music for my company’s newest artist?” Yumi asks.

Sungjae’s eyes narrow, and all of the earlier camaraderie from minutes ago disappears in an instant. His sashimi is barely touched. “I write music,” he says slowly, “for other people who hire me. I’m the ghost writer for a pretty popular indie rock band that sounds almost like the way we used to. I would say you might like them, if Neon Nights didn’t sound the way it does.”

“I like Hwajung’s music better than yours.” She knew it was the wrong thing to say, but she wanted to say it anyway. 

He glowers. “Fine. See if I fucking care when the band fucking falls apart.” He starts shoveling the remnants of his meal into his mouth. 

They’re already falling apart, threatening to tear at the seams. There’s no way Sungjae can know what’s going on internally. In public, they’re the picture of poise and friendship, once you look past Yumi’s forced smiles and the way Hwajung has never stood next to Eden or Qiuyun for five years.

“If we were going to fall apart without you, it would have already happened,” Yumi says.

“Oh, it won’t be because of you,” Sungjae says with a half-smile, seemingly to himself, and seemingly shark-like. “It’ll be because of fucking Taein.”

She feels like she’s missed some big reveal, and waits for him to say more. It doesn’t make much sense to her. He hates Taein, understandably, but he works with Jaesun. In fact, he’s instrumental to Jaesun’s continued success.

“If you hate Taein-nim so much, then why would you choose to work with Jaesun?” she asks carefully.

Sungjae’s shark-esque smile doesn’t leave his face. “Yumi-ah, you can’t seriously think I enjoy working for him. He’s insufferable.” He slams his now empty plate down the chute. “How the fuck do I pay?”

Two days later, Yumi kneels outside the door to Fable’s practice room and picks the lock with two hairpins. Eunbyul and Hwajung stand on either side of her, keeping watch, though it’s unlikely any of the room’s true occupants will have a need for it at three in the morning. 

“I don’t see why we couldn’t have met in our own room,” Eunbyul complains softly.

“What if Eden has a sudden burst of inspiration and decides she needs to be there?” Hwajung whispers back.

A pin clicks. “She wouldn’t do that,” Yumi says. She roots around for the next one.

A few tense minutes later, the last pin moves into place, and she rotates the lock with her second hairpin. Hwajung tries the handle and the door opens smoothly and silently.

They can’t risk turning the light on and having it visible from the outside, so they use the light of their phone flashlights instead. It casts the room and each other in an eerie light, illuminating only circles at a time.

“They don’t need all of this space,” Hwajung says.

“There are eight of them,” is Eunbyul’s response. “No. Seven? Six? Five?”

Yumi has no idea how many people are in Fable, and she couldn’t care less.

Hwajung tries to prop a broom under the door handle. Yumi takes one look at it and says, “That only works in the movies.”

She tries it with a folding chair next, and that looks only slightly more sturdy.

They sit in a circle in the middle of the room, using Eunbyul’s phone for light. Yumi can’t help but think that if anyone comes in, they’re unequivocally and irrevocably fucked.

She finds her voice recording and skips over the first couple of minutes Sungjae spent shitting on her and Myunghoon. When she hears herself say, “You wrote Jaesun’s album” she lets it play.

They sit in silence until the end of the recording. Yumi watches the subtle shifts in expression in her friends’ faces: Hwajung’s half-smile in delight at hearing Sungjae recognize her, Eunbyul’s frown deepening more with every question Yumi poses and answer she receives.

When it’s over, Eunbyul speaks first. “I hate to say it, but he’s right about some things. It was so much different when we were in high school.”

“Yumi wasn’t there to talk about that,” Hwajung says. “She was there to learn if Sungjae is weirdly and creepily obsessed with us. And she did."

She beams, though Yumi doesn't feel like she learned anything new.

“He admitted to it,” she continues, clearly on a roll. She taps her fingers against the hardwood floor. “At the end here”—she reaches for Yumi’s phone and rewinds a few minutes back—”he blamed our future disbandment on Taein-nim. Then he clearly acknowledges that he doesn’t like working with Jaesun. It’s obvious.”

From the look on Eunbyul’s face, it isn’t obvious to her either. Hwajung’s conclusions are far-fetched, reading much too far into Sungjae’s words. Or it’s some innate connection the two of them have where they do understand each other, no matter how much she says they never have and they never will. 

“You were thinking about that when you asked him the question,” Hwajung says to Yumi.

It’s undeniable. Yumi nods.

Hwajung drives her train of thought forward. “He slipped up. He first said he worked with Jaesun as a favor. If he hates it so much and there was nothing else to it, he’d quit. I know he would.”

Yumi has never thought of Sungjae as a person who’d quit so easily. She stays quiet, because what does she know about him compared to Hwajung?

“It makes sense,” Hwajung insists.

Except it doesn’t. Not really.

Eunbyul voices the same thought as Yumi. “He could do it for other reasons,” she suggests. “Money, or connections.”

“The connection to us,” Hwajung retorts. “He isn’t doing it for the money. He cares too much about artistic integrity.”

“Sellout,” Eunbyul reminds her, and she falls silent. “And he’s ghostwriting. That’s not the behavior of someone who cares about artistic integrity.”

She takes control of the conversation in Hwajung’s brooding silence. “It has nothing to do with us,” she says, clearly exasperated at all the straws Hwajung is trying to grasp. “If anything, he hates Taein-nim and he’s trying to get back at him somehow.”

“By indirectly working for him?” Yumi finally asks. They both look at her like they forgot she was there.

Hwajung throws her arms around her neck. “I knew you’d see it too.”

Yumi gently disentangles herself. “He never said he chose to work with Jaesun on purpose. He behaved weirdly the whole night.” She tries to remember each detail of his body language and his expressions, though she’d rather purge the whole experience from her memory.

“He’s weird. And he did!” Hwajung launches into the same explanation she gave minutes ago.

This time, Eunbyul interrupts her. “Say he wants to sabotage us or Taein-nim somehow. What’s he done?”

They all fall silent, because none of them can think of a single time that Sungjae has ever done anything concrete against them. 

“Fuck,” Hwajung says eventually. For every conclusion she’s drawn, Eunbyul has matched her with something else that sounds much more plausible and mundane.

“It’s a coincidence,” Eunbyul insists with a yawn. “A strange coincidence, to you.” She pokes Hwajung in the arm. “I'd like to go back to sleep."

Yumi checks the time and is surprised to see that it's been nearly an hour. They've spent so much time talking about Sungjae—too much time, in her opinion—and have gotten nowhere closer to understanding his motives, or really, anything about him.

On their way out of the practice room, after rearranging the broom and the chair to their original positions, Hwajung suddenly asks, “Could you clip the part where he said I’m a talented musician and send it to me?”

Yumi obliges, right then and there.

[twilightknight17]

This time on P3R: lots and lots of Tartarus, and hanging with my bros.

Spent a bunch of time in Tartarus, one because I was trying to get more money/personas, and two because I thought the border floor was closer than it was. X’D I ended up having to go home because everyone was out of SP.

I’m level 68, which is not nice, and one level too low to fuse Loki, sadly. And somehow, I don’t feel overleveled in the slightest. Which… doesn’t seem to bode well for the inevitable marathon final boss. XDDDD

Anyway, now that I’ve come back, time to… oh, wait. Exams are this week, so no one will hang out with me except my rival track bro, and Mitsuru. Which seems weird, since Mitsuru STILL won’t hang out with me because I’m not a genius. But if I was… she’d hang out with me instead of study?

Akihiko wants to spend the evening together, though, so that’s cool. He takes me on a workout run, and Minato keeps up admirably! That roving band of delinquents who want to fight him turns up again, though.

Seriously, there’s more dudes every time this happens.

Akihiko’s prepared to fight, though, and tells Minato to stay back. But…

Admittedly, I’m not a Japanese high school student. I’m not an expert. But these guys seriously think that just because he’s on the boxing team, he’ll get in trouble for defending himself against like… twenty guys? “Oh, someone with your training shouldn’t fight an amateur”, so what, he’s just supposed to let people with no training beat him up without protecting himself?

Also, fucking pathetic of these morons to only come after him if they think he can’t/won’t hit back. Cowards. Dipshits. Fall down the shrine stairs on your way home.

Don’t worry, Senpai! I could!

These guys made a fatal mistake, though. They mentioned that they know where we live, and that there’s girls and a kid living there too. And you threaten our stupid little team family, you are toast.

Got it! But aw, man. That means I can’t just yank out a sword and start swinging.

I guess it’s fine, though, because we laid them out flat.

I’m delighted by the fact that we just left them everywhere.

We head home after telling them to not fuck with us anymore, and head to Akihiko’s room, where he admits that he’s made a decision about Nyx. He wants to fight, no matter what the outcome is.

That’s in line with Yukari and Mitsuru, who also want to fight. Very proud of my team here.

Now we’re off to spend some time with Kamiki, because Maya isn’t ready to rank up again. Kamiki makes me uncomfortable, but that’s a me thing, not a Minato thing, so we’re off to listen to him talk about the story he’s writing. The one that probably is not good for children, but is good catharsis for him.

The one about the pink alligator, shunned by others, who makes friends with a bird.

Today he picks up where he left off and tells us about how the pink alligator has a friend now, but still can’t hunt because of his color. So he’s getting more and more hungry. And then he accidentally eats the bird. And the bird dies. So he decides to just starve.

Dude. WARN someone before you just drop a story like that on them. He asks what we think, and dude, that’s fucking dark.

My guy, holy shit. I believe in your writing, but maybe tone it down just a smidge. I forget if he wanted this to be a picture book or what, but if so, you’re gonna traumatize the kiddos.

Fucking hell. Let’s go take exams.

Oh god I had to guess on that one but I got it!

And then missed the Roman mythology one. Who even am I.

And my academics are STILL not maxed despite all the study sessions!

To take my mind off of my shit academics, we’re gonna go hang out with Junpei.

You already apologized, but this is nice of you. And.. it’s okay.

Junpei admits that he was scared and angry and unjustifiably took his anger out on Minato.

If you say “Ryoji” I’m gonna leave.

But no, he means himself. He talks about how when he was visiting Chidori in the hospital, he accidentally brushed off her question about his future plans, and upset her. Seeing all of SEES apparently just talking about the potential death of everything like it was just another mission made him realize how scared Chidori must have been, and how bad it felt to have someone not notice that.

But he gets now that we’re all scared, we’re just dealing with it different ways. And says that while Minato has always made decisions for the rest of the team, now he should make a decision for himself.

Even if the rest of SEES wants something else.

I love Junpei a whole lot. He’s actually so good, and anyone who says otherwise is wrong and I will fight them.

Time is passing faster than it feels like it should. But not as fast as November flew by.

Yeah. We’ll have a nice Christmas together.

...nevermind, I’m sending you, specifically, to Tartarus.

Because he loves humanity and me! Oh my god. In hindsight, a better punishment is BANNING you from Tartarus. No training until you stop being like this. X’’’’D

I do wonder what Christmas will have to offer, at least...

[storiesofsvu]

20 author Questions

I was tagged by @scorpsik @prentiss-theorem @introverted-author @blackbird-brewster

How many works do you have on AO3?

322

What's your total AO3 word count?

1,841,883

What fandoms do you write for?

Criminal Minds, Law & Order, NCIS, Grey’s Anatomy/Private Practice, Homeland, House of Cards, Chicago PD

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Classified Affairs (Heather Dunbar)

A Dangerous Game (Emily Prentiss)

Penthouse of Sugar (Multi)

I Don’t Share (Emily Prentiss)

Sugar Mommy (Rita Calhoun)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

90% of the time I do! Sometimes on tumblr they got lost I the notifications and I forget, but I do my best to always reply unless it was a negative comment or someone asking for a part 2 when Ive clearly stated I won’t do a pt 2

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

You Promise Me? (casey novak)

Fault (Emily prentiss)

.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Paper Rings  (rita Calhoun)

The Nanny with Benefits (Poly!Barhoun)

Do you get hate on fics?

Yup. Usually it’s not as an actual reply because people are cowards and like to hide behind the gray anon face. It generally doesn’t bother me.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Sure do! Mainly reader insert, but all kinds of kinks, there’s not much I won’t write.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Oh very much so! I think the craziest one would be the Elizabeth Keane x reader x Hether Dunbar. Just cause of logistics lol.

Have you ever had a fiction stolen?

Yup. And major thanks to the person who alerted me of it.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of!

Have you ever co-writtten a fic before?

I haven’t. I do give a lot of thanks to my mutuals for spitballing and helping come up with ideas for stuff. I have talked about co writing things but considering real life taking up so much time I doubt it would happen.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Calvak. Barhoun.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Unexpected Circumstances. It was one of the very first things I ever wrote and I don’t have any motivation to get back to lol

What are your writing strengths?

Characterization, constantly coming up with ideas, lots of inspiration, I do think I’m pretty good at what I do lol

What are your writing weaknesses?

Real life burnout draining me to the point of no motivation. Also the adhd not being able to focus. Not to mention, too many ideas sometimes does fuck me over lol

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Like it. If I need something on the fly I usually just use google translate and hope for the best, but if it’s for more than that I’ll reach out to someone who speaks it.

First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter lol

Favorite fic you've ever written?

Serendipitous Secrets and Surprises

Classified Affairs

Her Everything.

No Pressure Tags: @plaidbooks @witches-unruly-heart @rustyzebra @demonicbaby666 @five-bi-five-mind

[kuriboo]

.

God I wanna word things but I don’t want to talk about actual happening things and I don’t wanna say things that make people upset or worried because even if it doesn’t feel like that will happen it will, and I just fucking. I just want to say words. I’m not doing anything about words. I’m just saying words. Okay. Okay.

I’m fucking overwhelmed as all hell

And I’m kind of snapping under the pressure and reaching my breaking point and I’m just kind of trying to tolerate my emotions and keep myself distracted and not dying until I reach the point where it’s dealt with and I face the consequences of everything and move on and eventually don’t feel like this. Because. It will happen eventually even if it doesn’t feel like it. So I’m doing the self care thing I think

And I just like. Dude.

I don’t want to work. I don’t want to do anything

But things that I want aren’t always good for me yknow

I just

I’m this horrible imperfect thing you know and it always catches up with me and it always brings everything crumbling down around me and I can’t keep things up and I can’t do anything

It’s good for me to have something to do and get out of the house, and it’s good for me to like. Make money and have insurance. Working is good for me

But I suck at it and I always fuck things up and I can’t meet basic fucking standards

And that part isn’t good for me

So it’s like. Damned if I do and damned if I don’t. But at least if I damn myself by doing, I’m not a huge fucking burden. Only a partial one

Which is a shitty way of looking at things but I don’t know how to look at it in a not shitty way

I just kind of suck in general.

And I don’t want to like. Fucking talk about what happened, or why I feel this way. I really don’t

Just thinking about it’s exhausting me and talking about it won’t make me feel better. I just need to exist and get through things and let myself not think about this and think about other things

I’m also kind of exhausted and slept all day because I feel like shit, and talking is hard in general

So it’s like. Idk

In an ideal world I don’t need to work to live and ahit

My pain meds leave me so tired all the time that it’s so hard just to function but the pain is worse so like lol

I don’t know how to keep up

I…don’t know how to keep up

I don’t want to do anything

In an ideal world I don’t fucking have to because my face is going to be screaming in pain for the rest of my life and my body demands I sleep like twelve hours a fucking day which I refuse to do, but I don’t live in that fucking world, do I

I’m like on the edge of a mental breakdown but just push it down and keep going because deep down I don’t feel like I deserve any help or sympathy or compassion. The consequences are coming and I just gotta man up and face them.

In actual context I swear that’s a not concerning and just a subjective factual statement, but I don’t want to talk about the actual context

We’ve been here before

And we survived

And we’ll survive again

Because there’s no choice, I’m too tired to do anything but push myself past my breaking point, because I also don’t have a choice

All I know is that I’m guilty

Guilty

But I am not the jury, I am not the executioner

I don’t know what the consequences will be and that terrifies me

And as much as punishing myself would make me feel in control, that’s selfish

I don’t want to push people away. I don’t want to

Talking about this doesn’t feel safe, though

…I hope you’re happy wherever the hell you are, because that’s partly your fault

And for the others to blame for that? Keep your enemies closer. I know exactly where they fucking are because I live with them

Truth is, though, I’m a coward who doesn’t want anyone to think less of me, and I don’t think I deserve support or sympathy regardless

But my cowardice only extends so far. I don’t want to do anything about things

The only thing worth doing is wait for the inevitable. The consequences will come. Yell at me, fire me, what have you, I have it coming.

Waiting is the only thing to do. I’m trying to practice self care until it comes. I cannot stress enough that I’m not going to fucking do anything about it, and I just want to say words

Working takes so much fucking out of me and I hate it

And I’m tired of fucking up constantly and doing the wrong things and not being able to keep up.

But there’s no reasonable alternative

I call myself a jack of all trades to make myself look halfway decent, but truly, I just bounce from thing to thing because I can’t fucking keep up and I’m exhausted and inevitably I make stupid decisions and do wrong things and it falls apart

And in the end I’m guilty, and that’s all there is to it, and there’s no point defending myself.

I just want to say words, is all

I am just very tired of so many things

[madcatdaderpydrawer-blog]

The dialogue I mentioned:

Vim: Woah, you guys are mean. Like, mean mean.

Everyone: *turns to look at the him in surprise*

Vim: Like, I’ve been kidnapped by a lot of Bloodmoons in a lot of dimensions, but none of them ever did that to me. *gestures to Lunar, who just whimpers*

Earth: I’m sorry, who are you?

Vim: I’m Lunar! Not your Lunar, obviously. He’s kinda ugly, actually, now that I’m looking. Even with the other eye. Whoever made that body kinda sucks. But anyways, you can call me Vim, so it’s not super confusing.

Bloodmoon: You’re him but not? This pathetic weak little coward? *gives Lunar a shake*

Lunar: *whimpers in pain*

Vim: I prefer the term pacifist.

Bloodmoon: Who cares?! You’re here to ruin our fun, aren’t you?

Vim: No?

Lunar: You’re not?!

Vim: Nah, I’m just here to watch. This is new, which means it’s interesting.

Earth: I’m sorry. Another version of you is being actively tortured, and quite likely about to be murdered, right in front you. And you. Do not care. You are just going to watch this happen, while eating popcorn?

Bloodmoon: Agh, this one confuses me, brother! He doesn’t make anymore sense to me. He’s different, and weird. I don’t know if I hate him more than the other one.

Vim: Pretty much, yeah? I mean, I don’t actually have any popcorn, but I do have some cookies.

Earth: Has anyone told you that you’re not a very good person?

Vim: *shrug* Big brother said other people’s opinions shouldn’t matter, because I’m much more important than them.

Everyone: *slow blinks*

Vim, munching on cookies: So, you guys gonna keep going, or?

Bloodmoon: …No! You ruined the mood! We aren’t feeling it anymore. *shoves Lunar at Earth* We don’t want you *pokes Vim in the nose, making him go cross-eyed* watching us torment him.

Vim: Oops, sorry! Would playing with Bloody make it up to you?

Bloodmoon: ….Would playing… with ourselves, make us feel better? What does that even mean?!

Vim: Sorry, I meant my Bloody. You can call them Revenant, or Rev for short, if you want? They love meeting other Bloodmoons!

Lunar and Bloodmoon:…

Earth: Your… Revenants? Are they here?

Vim: Yep! I think they said they were gonna go have fun with the nightshift, but they’ve probably finished eating by now!

Earth: …Eating?

Bloodmoon: No! This is our turf! Our prey! Do those- those copycats think just think they can steal our food?! We’ll show them!

Revenant, on the ceiling: Show us what? How inferior you are to us? Brother, I don’t think they even have nanomachines anymore. Then they’re weak. Not worth the fight. They look terrible, too.

Bloodmoon: We’ll show you! We’re much better than you! Come down here and face us, cowards!

Revenant: If you insist. It’s kind of cute, how delusional they are. They really think they have a chance. Yes, it’s like a little puppy barking at a huge wolf. Then we’ll just have to put them in their place, won’t we?

Earth: *decides to take this opportunity to get Lunar the fuck out of here*

Vim: *looks back and forth, munching a cookie, before deciding to follow after Earth and Lunar*

God rev is going to mess up the timeline by viciously murdering this version of themselves XD

[faeriecourts]

naruto university au

Sasuke’s mindless in the comfortable silence that settles, brain turned off from what was probably brain rotting TV, his hand reaching out before he can even process what he’s doing, one of his fingers sliding over Naruto’s bracelet. It looks like parts of a volcano were made into little pearls, metal loops in between them, tiny etchings in the metal.

“You like it?” Naruto clanks the bracelet off his wrist, holding it up for Sasuke to take. “My mom made it.”

“Your mom?”

“Yeah, she has a jewellery company.” He runs his finger over the intricate markings of the metal. “Modern witchcraft calls these ‘sigils’, but back in the day, our family called them ‘seals’. They’re said to enhance things like power, strength, and concentration.”

Sasuke huffs at that, but Naruto just laughs.

“Yeah, yeah. Does it work or is it placebo? But the fact stands that some of my family were burned in the witch trials for it.”

Call Sasuke dense all you want, but he definitely feels the way he’s fucked up in this moment, jaw slack and stumbling. “I-I’m sor-”

“Don’t be,” Naruto waves his hand. “It’s not like I knew any of them personally. My mom’s big on tradition though, she likes to pass it down.”

“I get it.” Sasuke’s chin rests on his knee. “My mom used to tell stories about the Uchihas when I was a kid. She says the Uchihas used to be warriors, that they breathed fire and that their eyes would turn red under intense emotion. Usually from the death of a loved one, but once… once it happened in the name of intense love.”

Naruto smiles at that, heartwarming and brilliant, and Sasuke can’t help but let his breath catch at soft blue eyes meeting his.

“That’s lovely. Are you close to your family?”

At that, Sasuke winces.

“Ah, I didn’t mean to pry-”

“It’s fine.” Sasuke has been a lot of things, a coward about a lot of things, but Naruto hasn’t shyed away once from him, so Sasuke won’t either. He has to match him, after all. Has to be just as good, if not better.

“It is fine.” Naruto reassures. “Sakura’s not close with her family either. We both believe you fill it in with the family you create.”

The family you create. Family has always been a bitter pill in his mouth. Sasuke has never had a moment to create something, always on the tail end of the shadow Itachi creates.

It’s in the safe blanket of the night that he lets the words slide out of his mouth. “My brother and I are close,” he says tentatively. “He- Our father put a business test in front of me when I was 5, turns out Itachi scored full marks on it at that same age, but I didn’t. Not until months of studying later.” He doesn’t know why he’s admitting this, doesn’t know why he does a lot of things these days. But this is not his family, not the Uchihas. No one raises a fist in response, no one reprimands him for talking about it, for saying the truth.

“That’s cruel.” Naruto tries to meet his gaze, but Sasuke just stares at the bracelet in his hands.

“My brother asked me if I hated him, once. I didn’t respond. After that, he told our father he’d do it all. He’d take over the business early, take on all the responsibilities, as long as our father didn’t test me again. And then he graduated from here when he was 12, met sales quotas at 15, was leading board meetings at 17. No one trusted him, at first. Because who trusts a teenager with a company?”

Naruto doesn’t respond for a while, but when he does, he says all that matters. “He’s your brother.”

“He’s my brother.” Sasuke agrees. “So I have to help him.”

Sasuke hands the bracelet back to Naruto in the silence that follows, a simple and complicated exchange all at once.

“Or,” Naruto wiggles his eyebrows, the side of his mouth tilted in a sly smile. “You could do what my uncle Kurama did, and just fuck off to the wilderness.”

Sasuke finally meets his eyes at that. “What?”

“Yeah, his job used to be like, literally firing people. At some point he just got sick of it, saved up enough to get a house in the middle of nowhere.”

“You do realize there’s a reason why people don’t do that, right? It takes hours to get groceries that way.”

“Nah, man, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t give a shit. He’s out there with a vegetable garden and everything. It’s a self-sustaining house, he’s got a group he lives with too. Chops firewood barefoot, apparently it’s what god intended or something.”

“Oh, so running to the wilderness thing is genetic, then?”

“It was one year. Sometimes you just gotta- I don’t know, man, like, sit in nature! Build a tent, build character!”

“Build character? If I slept in the woods, my mom would call aniki to ask if he cut off my credit cards.”

“Well, if he ever does, we can both fuck off to the woods together and I’ll make sure we survive. Cook oatmeal over a fire and everything.”

There’s the slightest upturn at the corners of Sasuke’s mouth. Fucking off to the woods suddenly doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.

ao3 | part one two three

[zero-braincells-left]

wow I like talking. I wasn’t gonna have a keep reading here because i want to force people to see it but then I thought about it for 2 seconds and decided that was shitty

if any of you knew me irl you wouldn’t like me. even if I think I act mostly the same I know it’s different . I shouldn’t have even made it this far i shouldn’t keep friends for this long why does nobody hate me yet why am I still her why does anyone put up with me?? And it’s so stupid I can have everything I don’t even think I deserve but it’s not enough I want more but i already think this is too much too. I don’t know what I’m scared of but it happens every time, it’s supposed to. So it has to again right. of course I don’t want it to because I don’t know who id do. I don’t want to be alone which is stupid because im NOT even at school there’s still people who tolerate me. And im fucking lucky as shit and I have a good family and they love me and they care so what makes losing everyone that’s latched onto this not even that fake online identity (maybe it’s fake but it has not too many differences from me usually. But. Irl feels fake too so idk) so scary? why do I think I wouldn’t live without this when I know damn well I could and would. Fuck why doesn’t it matter how many times I’ve talked about this and how many times I’ve been talked down from this. It always comes back and the stupid ass backwards logic of “if I leave everyone I care about first then they can’t leave me! haha gottem!!” Comes back. and NO!!!! im not doing that!! i cant do that again not after last time. that was horrible and even if im “over it” now that’s probably half the reason im scared. i don’t want that again. And I won’t get that again if i fucking stay quiet, right? But nooooo I love attention that other people deserve and need so so much more than me and I want people to worry about me and i want people to talk to me!! Last time I posted something like this i didnt even mean it that much. Some of it, sure, but.. i just wanted to see if anyone would say anything? and it worked and I feel bad because i didn’t deserve to be comforted for something I didn’t even mean why did I do that. it’s like the coward’s equivalent of suicide baiting since i don’t even have the guts for that. Heh. the only person getting a headache from me is myself (I do in fact have a headache that began maybe a third of the way through what I have typed right now lmao??). This. Isn’t even that serious. if i wanted I could just not post this and delete it from my drafts and go back to being silly because why would I bother making people worry? just for the attention I want? that’s shitty. What’s even worse is that I know people are willing to give it. you really really shouldn’t but haha can you blame me?? I’m just some stupid kid on the internet that’s okay at drawing and writing and has something to give at least so of course you’d like that!! of course you like Zero!!!! would you like the stupid kid behind the screen that does absolutely fucking nothing all day and is laying here crying at the fact that people might actually care about him?? would you like her?? maybe you would. maybe im being dumb right now. But it doesn’t matter because you’ll never know me. and would you want to, if I could? really all I have to show is this silly persona . I want more than that but this is all there is .

[evilduckies]

You’re clearly too dense to understand that anyone can find anyone’s blog. I check on a lot of her socials. She doesn’t even know. And yes I know the shitty things she’s done and I also know the horrible things you’ve done.

Aside from that, take it to court all you’d like, you’re just going to look silly. She tried for months, but without a license she cannot get insurance in order to prove “proof of insurance” to get off of yours. You either have to re write or deal with it. She knows for a fact it isn’t costing you anything more. But go ahead. Waste money on a lawyer who will laugh at you.

Also. Hunter isn’t in the picture anymore so you can leave that alone as well.

Just give it up. She’ll get off your insurance when she can. It isn’t hurting anyone.

Sorry I care about my friend and am bothering you. And no, I won’t show my face because I know you showed up to her house a few days after she changed her number. I don’t need a stalker too. Best of luck.

You are a stalker since you’re stalking my page and you stalk her socials so great job there buddy, continue to be a creeper. You’re an actual moron claiming to be her friend and for saying you care about her.

I went to her house to try and understand what happened and why she ghosted me. Have I been since? No I haven’t. And yes I can take her to court over this and she gets to pay the bill. It’ll take her a month to get a driver’s license- been asking her to get one for years. She’s an adult and can get a license she’s just being lazy at this point. I’ve offered to help her get one numerous times. And no I’m not canceling my policy and getting a new one because that will cost me more. But you don’t understand how insurance works clearly and I’m not going to sit here and explain it to you. It brings me such joy every time I look at my policy and I get to see her name and remember the night she totaled my car almost four years ago. She wants to be tied to me with that for the rest of her life? And actually once her name is off of it my rate goes down- imagine that!

You don’t know much about her then do you? Do you know if she’s a cheater? Or whose she’s cheated on and with who? Oh wait I do. And I have all the proof on my phone. Why don’t you go ask her. Pretty sure in the last year she’s still denied all of that. And thank good Hunter is finally out of the picture. Maybe Shannon can actually have a life and be allowed to do things since she needed his permission to go for a walk or to the store without his supervision. I asked her to leave him for most of their relationship so she can fix her mental health and get better. Now maybe she can and I’m happy for her.

This is either Shannon trying to disguise herself, her shitty best friend May who thinks she knows everything and pretends to care about Shannon or maybe her friend Sam. Hell is this Steve whose tried so hard to get her back and tried to buy her love? Either way get a life and stop being a creepy stalker. To find my page you’d have to know my other socials. You’re a moron.

Thanks for making me laugh. Keep saying I’m a shitty person when you don’t know the whole story or all the shitty things she’s done to me and everyone else in her life. Grow a pair and show your face you coward. You’re an actual stalker who needs a fucking life.

And as I’ve said before I will always be here for Shannon and all I’ve wanted for her is her to be happy, safe and healthy. She needs to start telling people all the things I’ve done for her and how many times I was the only one their for her or who she felt safest with. But she doesn’t tell anyone those things does she? I’m just the asshole and she’s a saint. The only reason she changed her phone number is because as always she lied to Hunter about us being friends, took no blame for her actions and threw me under the bus and blamed me for everything. Shannon needs to own up to what she’s done and she owes me an apology. Just like I owe her an apology and why I wish to speak with her and not her shitty fake friends. Wonder where you were anytime she had to leave her house because of him. Oh wait nowhere to be found since she came to my house because she felt safest with me. Imagine that.

Best of luck to you, you creepy, sad and lonely pathetic excuse for Shannon’s friend.