#I wish I had the photo still
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Currently in bed belly wheeze laughing quietly because I remembered when Sam was passing out posters on the streets and the guy he gave it to threw it in the trash in the background while Sam was smiling at the camera 😭😭😭😂😂😂
#I wish I had the photo still#puts me in tears every time#the smile TOOK. ME. OUT.#and he didn’t even notice 🤦🏽♀️😂😭#greta van fleet#gvf#sam kiszka#sam gvf
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my feed has been absolutely flooded with beautiful stories about gavin today. whether fellow actors or fans, these individual yet collective experiences are such a strong testament to who he was as a person and the impact he left on the theatre community. we’ve lost some broadway legends this year, but this one feels different.
rest in peace, gavin creel. thank you for everything.
#I wish I had more to say#I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the news—I thought it was a casting announcement with a poor color choice for the photo#until I read the caption#sorry if this is how you find out… I still can’t believe it tbh#gavin creel
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A few of the photos from the Paul and India interview in this month’s DWM, plus a couple of snippets:
#i’m not going to post the whole thing because mags need sales to survive#but these two#i want more charley alone with the doctor#they work together so well they don’t need gooseberries like audacity#paul mcgann#india fisher#doctor who#eighth doctor#8th doctor#charley pollard#big finish#the stuff of legend live#doctor who magazine#i do wish they’d given us more from the photoshoot#but what we’ve got is great#though the lighting in that second photo makes it look as though paul has a black eye#i removed the text from the first one#“audio casual”#“define ‘had’”#i would have loved to watch this interview#but once again i want to yell from the rooftops that charley is not edwardian!!#edward vii had been dead for two years when she was born#it still bugs the hell out of me that they refer to her as edwardian#and as she’s from 1930 india would have looked a bit out of place in an edwardian outfit#a flapper dress or something would have been a bit more appropriate#and it wouldn’t have rustled so much#anyway
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photo evidence of me in llh's messy ass bed
me taking a picture with the lxy portrait installation: am i expected to smile at someone's memorial ???
bonus: mianmian meets lxy and hulijing
#finally got my shit together to do a mini repo post...still have pics from cp30 and cq01 which i'll prob rb instead to not put in the tag#me describing the event: it's like one big festive funeral for llh lol#the lotus tower experience was. (duh.) not as nice as i wished.#it felt like an abandoned lotus tower was being rummaged through and taken apart by a bunch of randos and kids... 人走茶凉的悲催感瞬间爆棚... :-)#had to make up for not being able to see the real one earlier this year. lol luckily(?) lhl is still being milked#but it is nice to see so many ppl irl who is into the same show in one place!!! basically a lhl theme park!#though hengdian's mid-autumn event seemed nicer and more immersive#anyways not included in the photos is the 集邮 i did tgt with a pair of llh and fdb cosplayers :3#also pls notice my dfs badges. im dfs's rep for the day (and always <3)#莲花楼#mysterious lotus casebook#lhl#my posts
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Rat News: Meet Gimli and Frerin!
These two dwarf girls are the newest in my mischief.
Gimli is the black and white variegated, and Frerin is the silvermane with red eyes!
I think silvermanes are very cool, as when I first got Frerin she looked more similar to Thorin. Over that first week, she entirely changed colors!
^ This was Frerin originally. She went from white and gray to an all over silver with a dark undercoat! I wish I had gotten more photos to compare, but I was not expecting her to be a silvermane at first.
They're both always up to no good. I'm a little concerned over how tiny Gimli is, as she's not really growing, but she's fully using her size to her advantage to climb on the other rats.
Here is all four of the girls below.
NOTE: this is a temporary cage, this was to ensure they could bond without hurting each other. Rats need more space!
Kili has officially turned three years old, and Thorin turns three next week! There's now the two old little ladies that sleep all day and the hyperactive little guys that come running to see me.
#glitch speaks#rats#my pets#also i wish i had more photos but the babies will NOT stay still#always zooming right now
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Now it's likely we will enter everyone's dream what do you think azul dream would be?
rubs hands Ohhhh anon, you're in luck because I have so many thoughts.
Since I also have ideas for the tweels, I'll take this time to write what I think all the Octavinelle dreams will be like. Most of these are my own thoughts, but some ideas are from friends. And because I love the trio so much, I'll also write my own ideas of what would possibly get them to wake up and such.
General notes before listing the individual dreams:
May be an obvious point, but I think all 3 of them will have each other in their dreams. Octa trio are very close, and I don't think they can imagine not having each other in their lives. It also matches how their initial dorm card art have each other + how all three of their stories are tied together.
I think that Jade is going to be the Octavinelle dream segment's SSR because of the twins, Kalim and co. will likely have an easier time waking Floyd up. Jade may need some prodding from someone more familiar with him.
However, I do acknowledge the argument made by my friend that it is possible for Floyd to be the SSR as he's the rightmost one in the order you find at the lessons (if you notice, the order goes Ortho > Lilia > Rook > Kalim (though Kalim is an exception) with Sebek in between Lilia and Rook, and they're the rightmost ones in their dorm order seen in lessons. Floyd is the rightmost one in the Octavinelle order). And I wouldn't be surprised if TWST decides to pull that out. But admittedly, I don't know what exactly would make Floyd's dream deep enough that he needs to be woken up by someone more familiar, so I write the dreams with the assumption that Jade will be the SSR.
Though not necessarily going to be important in the following ramble, I have a feeling that they will release Coral Sea's hometown event to be able to use certain assets (i.e. backgrounds, possible official reveal of Azul's merform) in book 7, just like Vil's hometown event was used for the Pomefiore dream segment.
As a disclaimer, I don't have full translations of the last two updates so I may not have the most accurate ideas for how the Octa dream segment can turn out because there are patterns they're following here. Many of these are still brainrot induced (even though I think I make good logic wheezes).
Ok, with all that said, here are my thoughts for the Octa trio's dreams :>>
Floyd Leech: Living underwater with Jade and Azul
It's not a secret that Floyd is at his happiest when he's in his merform. Among the trio, he's the one who transforms the most often into his merform. Some incidents include the time that he transformed during swimming class according to Ruggie (Book 3) and Vargas Camp where he transformed to get fish. Floyd is also the one who tells the most stories of his time under the sea with Jade and Azul. We know about their middle school band because of him (Robe Kalim vignette); we know about Azul's actual size in his octopus form because of him (Beans 2 main story); we know about the music contests they used to join because of him (Portfest Floyd vignette).
So it makes sense that his dream would be in the sea, where he's in his merform. It's also going to be pretty simplistic, depicting a happy life underwater.
TWST tends to be very comedic, especially with the first dream. So my friend suggested it would be fun if there were literal fish versions of the cast in his dream 😂 so we could have live2D assets of a literal goldfish Riddle, crab Ace, sea snake Jamil, etc.
Jade and Azul of course would be in merform along with him. Maybe they might be playing in their middle school band: Floyd on drums, Jade on bass, and Azul on piano (and maybe their audience is composed of the NRC cast as fish).
In this dream, maybe Floyd has no memory of ever being on land with Jade and Azul. So that may be what the others will use to wake him up.
Jamil would probably remind Floyd of basketball club days + dancing, and Ortho would probably remind him of his love for shoes. These could be pretty reasonable as the permanent card vignettes (so SR Robe/Lab, R Uni/PE, SSR Dorm) seem to be compliant with the canon of the main story. Grim would probably remind him as well of Book 3's events and how he'd do fun shit with Azul and Jade at the Mostro Lounge. They would probably remind him as well that Jade and Azul love what they do on land.
I don't know where to insert this, but it's very likely that Azul in this dream does not hate his merform. Floyd talks highly of his merform (whether it looks yummy or very strong), so it's possible that he wishes that Azul loves himself just a little bit more (I really want to say it is hinted at, but at the moment, I have no idea if that's correct, let alone say where it is hinted at, so I won't say it like it's canon). And by extension, this can be Floyd's way of sharing that maybe Azul wouldn't have OB'd if he was more accepting of himself.
Jade Leech: If Azul never overblotted
Jade's dream would take a similar path to Rook's dream, in which the premise for the latter is that Vil never overblotted because he's not in conflict with Neige. And for Rook, that's okay, he just wants Vil to be happy, even if he looks on from afar. Except that for Jade, he wants to be the reason that Azul didn't have to overblot.
See, it's very subtle, but Jade is probably upset or even traumatized from Azul's overblot. While he never shows this (this motherfucker istg) the one small bit of evidence of this is in Book 4. Jamil's hypnotizing everyone, and Kalim, Azul, and the rest are frantic as they don't know what to do. But as Jamil is about to overblot, Jade tells him to stop, or else he will overblot. And that's a very interesting thing: why is it Jade who's the one telling Jamil that he'll overblot at the rate he was going? Why not Azul, who's both fascinated with Jamil and the one who underwent overblot? Or even Grim and Yuu who have 3 experiences of overblots by that time? Of course, that's not necessarily a guaranteed indication that Jade is upset from Azul's overblot, as in general, overblot is very dangerous and could kill a life. Jade may have been saying this to prevent Jamil from entering a life-or-death situation. However, I still find it intriguing that it's Jade who's warning Jamil, especially when another instance of another character trying to stop an OB was Kalim, who followed Vil since he was reminded of Jamil's own OB (and we know Jamil and Kalim have been together since forever).
There's two ways that this can go: either (1) Jade's dream follows like Rook's, or (2) it goes the opposite of Rook's.
In (1), Jade (and consequently, Floyd) would not be friends with Azul, and Azul would continue on as he is, only a lot more independent.
(1) stems from the fact that the plan Yuu hatched to destroy Azul's contracts was hinged on separating the twins from Azul. Jade might have realized this, either in Book 3 or off screen post Book 3. And in a similar fashion to Rook, he might blame himself a little bit for Azul not being able to get the contracts off of Leona on his own due to the fact that he and Floyd are always with him. So in his mind, he thinks he might be dragging Azul's potential down, and he knows how much Azul wants to become the best version of himself. So maybe he looks on from afar as well. Maybe he's still an Octavinelle student, but not the vice leader.
(2) also stems from that same fact, but it also has an additional element: In Book 3, Jade asked Azul if they should do anything about Leona, since it was unexpected for Yuu to stay in Savanaclaw. Azul replied that he probably won't act on anything, so he says not to disturb him. What if Jade might have been hooked onto this? That maybe he should have acted more upon his suspicions? That maybe he should have been more attentive when spying on Yuu and co to find out when they hatched this plan? So maybe in dream (2), he had a countermeasure or he just knew when to nudge Floyd to go back to the dorm before Leona destroyed the contracts. Then once that was dealt with, they deal with the photo and bam, Azul wins and they get the Ramshackle branch.
Both (1) and (2) are connected by Jade's wish in the Dances and Wishes event, where he expresses that his wish is for Azul's and Floyd's wishes to come true. In a sense, (1) fits this a bit better than (2). There's also the idea that moray eels have a cowardly nature, according to Floyd. (1) could be an expression of said nature within Jade.
But if you ask me, I think (2) is a bit more in line with Jade. Firstly because I doubt he can imagine not being close to Azul, secondly because I think in his ideal world, I think he'd wish he had more control over what happened (and Jade has a thing for control).
Thirdly, it matches in terms of how his dorm card and Rook's dorm card are both same and different. The gameplay of TWST tends to be intermingled with the story and characters at times. Dorm Jade and Rook both have first spells where they boost their ATK stat for 3 turns, with fire as their duo element. The differences between them are (a) card typing (Rook Attack vs. Jade Defense) and (b) M1/M3 elements (Flora/Water Rook vs. Water/Flora for Jade). This parallel can be reflected in their dreams vs. the reality of their situations. Rook dreamt of never being involved with Vil, but in real life he was in time to intervene and save Neige. Meanwhile, Jade would dream of being on time to stop Leona, while in real life, he was too late and only in time to kick Azul's ass out of his overblot.
And fourth, this is where you may wonder: Isn't Azul's second dream going to be the Book 3 AU, based on the patterns with Idia, Vil, and Jamil? To which I answer: yes! Definitely! But here's where I'm going to point out something: Jade and Azul not only have similar ish mindsets but also have the same paintings in their initial Platinum card art, just with flipped positions. I like to think that this is reflective of their dreams, where both of them wish to change the same events of Book 3, except that they'd go about it differently.
Jade would definitely be woken up by Floyd, who would remind him that what happened has already happened. (On this note, I wonder if we'll get to see one of their vicious sibling fights so Jade can wake up, but I'm just dreaming at this point)
By virtue of him being the SSR, we gotta think of what's the scenario that would make Jade cry! Him having to fight the fake Azul and Floyd might break him. Yeah, he's fought Floyd and all, probably dueled with Azul too, but it could be different when he has to be 100% serious about it. Either that or, there might be some part of him that hates the fact that it was a dream. And Floyd would have to snap him out of it, saying that everything is okay.
Azul Ashengrotto: Ultimate business owner + Book 3 AU
The first dream we enter, in typical Azul fashion, we're likely going to see him owning a whole chain of Mostro Lounge restaurants! And maybe not only that: he's probably running a hotel or two, he's got a delivery service going, he probably has a monopoly running while we're at it. Basically, it's all the stuff that he lists down in Book 6 before he sleeps on Riddle's shoulder.
His businesses expand over both land and sea. Since Azul prefers being on land, we may see him on land first before diving to the sea to check on business there. And that's where the first confrontation happens.
I think Azul would feel practically invincible by this point! And by invincible, he not only has everything he wants, but there's not a trace of his past to be discovered, so people think he's always been this intelligent and strong. So when he's confronted by Jade and Floyd, who share memories of his past (his shared past with them, from middle school to NRC), that's the first instance of Azul slowly starting to wake up and him panicking about his perfect world being fake. And it almost works until the dream versions of Jade and Floyd come in and remind Azul of the kind of invincible person he is.
Then they descend to the second dream, which is the Book 3 AU where Azul got his contracts from Leona and probably beat his ass. Except that the difference between this and Jade's dream is that Azul does this all by himself. When dream Jade and Floyd get back to him with the photo, they're praising him, all like, "Good job Azul! You're so strong and powerful! I'm glad I get to hang out with someone as awesome as you are!"
But the real Jade and Floyd would try to stop him from destroying the photo and tell him that it's a reminder of who he was, and how much he's grown. And if Azul succeeds in destroying that photo, Jade and Floyd would pull out the photos that they carry with them (think the album from the opening). They want him to accept the person that he was, and realize the person he is now is someone who's grown stronger. He has become better.
On how his dream would collapse, this is tricky. I would want that Azul destroys his contracts (thereby breaking the deal he made with Yuu, which would entail that his happy end has been broken), but him not destroying the photo would also cause the dream to collapse since the way to his happy end involves removing all ties to his past, namely the photos. He could do both. However, the trend so far is that foreign influence affecting the happy ending is what would break the dream. If anything, if Jade and Floyd do have their own copies of Azul's past photos, that means that the presence of those indicates that Azul's ties to his past are not broken at all, and therefore they would break the dream.
Then as per pattern, the others leave while Azul sinks deeper to try and wake himself up. He meets his OB self, who's steeped in his insecurities and is very unaccepting of his past. And this is where Azul accepts those insecurities and accepts his past but will continue to move forward with his life and grow to be a person he can be proud of, and fight his OB self. Then he faces his first dream and dream Jade and Floyd, and then he wakes up eventually.
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst jp#azul ashengrotto#jade leech#floyd leech#twst theory#tldr they need each other fr#if you ask me i absolutely think jade and floyd would exhibit their same difference schtick#in which they have their individual ways of expressing smth but at their core they have similar desires/goals/feelings#like i think floyd might partially blame himself too for azuls ob or if not blame himself he at least wished he never had to see it happen#its just that to him if azul was more accepting of himself like how floyd accepts him then azul wouldnt have been hurt enough to undergo it#ofc it needs to be said too that jade and floyd want each other to be happy#idk how Exactly they'd go about that but im sure for jade he wants floyd to be able to do what he wants#and floyd wants that he and jade are happy tgt under the sea#tho i do admit my ideas for jade's dream are more azul focused than floyd focused esp (2)#(1) would defs be able to encompass floyd's wishes more alongside azul's#i still want the tweels to brawl after seeing kalim and jamil throw down in the latest update lmao#like how vicious would they get and would they actually fight over how they shouldve handled a matter deeply involving someone they care fo#i demand to see more fists thrown tbh for a school thats built up to throw hands we dont get enough full blown fist fights#edit 1: its jamil who accompanies them not kalim#edit 2: added in the photos in azuls part bc my friend talked about it and i COMPLETELY FORGOT HOW IMPT THE PHOTOS ARE TO AZULS STORY
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Remember when the Audrey villain leaks came out and then we saw the offical c4 and s3 outfit reveals and saw the c4 on the isle and the s3 in an auradon forest and we all thought there had been some sort of time spell where Audrey twisted time and instead of the c4 coming to Auradon it was the s3 so Audrey stayed with Ben and there was a whole adventue to fix the timeline? no? just me? okay
#i remember the theories they were so interesting#like how dr. Facilier ran an underground motorrace and the vks had to race to get the key to Hades lair#and we all thought Harry and Gil had dyed their hair blue becuase that reveal photo of the s3 looked so odd for Harry's hair lighting and i#looked blue#and we all thought Audrey had gone to a wishing well like in ouat and had cast a time spell and the vks had to work together to get their#timeline back#Uma#Mal and Audrey and Hades are the only ones who remember the last timeline#aka demi-gods#person who cast the spell#and god#and Mal goes to see Hades and confronts him cuz hes a god and might know where cronos sundial is so she can get her timeline back#but she also notices alto of the isle is-way better than what she and her friends had done?? theres fresh food-no one is wearing ratty old#clothes that were trash from auradon#the air is better#and theres no propagana pictures#Mal asks-not so descretly-what happened and Hades just goes 'uma.'#Uma made it her whole ass mission to make the isle a better place in gernal becuase even if they're steadely getting kids off-its still a#really bad place and-ya know-HUMAN RIGHTS#Ben is very supportive and the isle becomes less an inhumane prison and more just a isle of solitude where the villains live without magic#the barrier was edited personally by FG and Uma to allow fresh air and water in and out of the isle becuase it was really fucked up that#once ANYTHING gets in it cant go out so the isle waters were really really poluted and bad and FG was like- "how did i not know it was this#bad!?“ and uma is just like ”....really?“#anyway i have feelings about the fandoms old theories about d3#anyway Mal goes through teh deliema of either going back to her timeline where the isle is still really bad but shes happy or#stay in the timeline where the isle is much better but she's still stuck and not with Ben/becoming queen#so she has the same choice in this alt timeine that she gets in d3 but its much more-just on her-becuase she knows Uma wont twist back#the timeline-shes happy#Harry and Gil are happy-lots of kids are already off the isle#and Ben looks happy too...hopefully
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Jack would like to offer you this pumpkin he found for Halloween
#halloween#cats#cats of tumblr#i have been waiting to use with inbox trick or treating but ive onky had one person so far and im impatient lol#so you get pumpkin jack anyway#i wish i could say this cutie was mine but hes my sisters.#i was supposed to foster him because momma cat abandoned him but then she took him back so *shrugs*#said sister sends me photos sometimes though still haha
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you have some kind of formal art education?
yes! but, i didn't go to school for art originally, and while my college had a perfectly fine art department and i liked most all of my teachers, sometimes i'm not sure how much i actually learned, haha...
i've been doing art basically all my life, and lucked out in having pretty good art teachers through primary and secondary schooling; they introduced me and my classmates to a lot of different media and techniques, from pen and ink to stained glass. Some of the lower level art classes i took in college actually repeated concepts i was already familiar with, but there was no testing out of them so i had to do them again. it was painful :"D
i still think it was a valuable experience though :>
#undertalethingem chats#not undertale#ask game#i once had an assignment to draw human skeletons... but this was before undertale came out so i didn't care about human(oid) skeletons#after undertale came out i wished i'd put a little more effort into that assignment XD#there were no digital art options that weren't either photo editing or graphic design though#and graphic design... is not my passion =u=;#so i've still got plenty to learn regarding digital painting >>
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weird thoughts I get at odd hours of the evening:
it'd be cool to have something in Guild Wars 2 similar to the og game's 'mercenary slots,' which allow you to save your characters as usable NPC party members to play with on another character. it'd be great to have something like that even just for photoshoots, slapping multiple characters into a setting so you can take fun pics.
#my posts#GW2#Guild Wars 2#is this an incredibly niche wish? probably#and do i think it'll ever happen? probably not#but i still kinda wish we had it because of what you could do with it + add a proper photo mode along with it#i know i have a lot of characters that are supposed to be from the same continuity so it'd be fun to have them together#even if it was really only for photos or could only be used in story instances or smth. limitations would be fine honestly#i'd definitely abuse the heck out of it for cool shots either way lol
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Little "bouquet" of random flowers I found growing wild in a yard
#flowers#photo diary#I think people are way too mean about ''''weeds'''' and not appreciative of them. Like.. dandelions are super nice looking#and bright and pretty.. forget me nots are so cute and a nice color.. etc. all of these random things that just spring up in the yard#are so neat. and it's evil that people tear them up and mow them down all the time#I guess maybe I get dandelions because they can kind of take over a space?? MAYBE?? but even then#if I was going to have a yard that is just a giant empty plot of blank grass. I would ratherit have a scattering of dandelions than#just like....... nothingness.#Also super cool that this person I know has columbines growing wildly in the yard. They hate them and pull them up#since they've kind of ''taken over'' a patch of grass near a bench they use#but they're soooo cool... Though they only have the single color ones just purple. My favorite columbines are the ones that are two colors#and almost look like two flowers in one or something.#There's a hill near a road around here where poppies seem to be growing wild.. ough... I wish I could go and take some or something#I've tried to transplant forget me nots everytime I'm in some realitive or friend's yard who has them and I ask to dig a few up but#I think theyre just not the type of flower that really grows long term on a deck lol.. but I wish they were... I just really like the blue#color. THOUGH this year in someone else's yard I found a very cool flower just randomly growing wildly that I had never seen#before. It's called Bethlehem Lungwort and it has spotted leaves and multi colored flowers and it looked like a flower out of a cartoon#at first. Since it was randomly growing wild in a yard the person let me dig one of them upand its' still aliveon my deck actualy#It's not blooming flowers anymore but the leaves are still prospering fine. Though it seems to really dislike the super hot sun#and will wilt in this heat wave if I'm not watering it at least once every other day lol.. anyway
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I haven't drawn since the start of the pandemic in 2020 everybody fucking clap its my Screaming Worm Boy (tm) from my fanfic Duality
#im not expecting people to clap im clapping for me cause holy shit i can still draw#also i lied i did 1 drawing last year in april for ardyn and that was it#had no plans to draw anything but the noodle wouldn't leave#Two Legs (plaga)#his variant is based off the spider plaga arana and the cephalo#threw in some snek#his body was longer had a standard stinger tip like the regular plaga but he got half his body crushed from a giant rock#and lost all but two of his legs#his body was originally more spider like then he mutated to have more worm like traits to compensate for the lost limbs#so the spaghetti at the end of him is his tendrils that connect to the central nervous system#he redirected it from the mouth and back area where it used to be#tendrils also come out from the little holes down his belly#so he sucker fishes himself to the spine like a pleco#anyway this is the fella piloting Luis's body in Duality post Krauser stab#i just realized im literally writing a fic with the same energy as “would you love me if I was a worm?”#fuck#resident evil#las plagas#plaga parasite#two legs oc#plaga!Luis#sawyer kiddo oc#re oc#duality fanfic#duality resident evil#wish my lighting for photos was better
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This is so fucking sick and reminiscent of makima’s fight with the gun devil but I am already over it a little bc I just knowwwwwwwww this is gonna become the new darkness devil introduction yaknow? I can see the future and this image is gonna be everywhere mark my worms. Anywayzies LOVE the spiral
#chainsaw man spoilers#chainsaw man#I saw it and immediately screenshotted but then not two seconds later I had the ‘ah this is astronaut page all over again’ lmao#it’s so fucking sick and I will be analyzing it standalone in my own time but yea#t b h im only mad bc the only csm posters I can ever find in the wild are the ugly anime promo photo and the astronaut page#I guess I would rather have this on my wall than those two but still!! we need more variety!!!!#(also I do make most of my own posters myself thank you very much I just wish there was more official or bootleg bc I love finding stuff)#read my terrible words
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gonna be Crowley for Halloween which means dying my hair for the first time!! Wish me luck lol I have no idea what I’m doing
#I got a nice red shade form the drugstore but I did a strand test and it’s really dark…#whatever#I mean I’ve been meaning to dye my hair red for over a year and I would prefer a really dark colour#but crowley’s hair doesn’t look like that😭#the actual outfit is like a fem renaissance inspired black dress and corset#cuz I already had most of it#still need to make some accessories tho✨#good omens#Crowley#crowley cosplay#kinda wishing i could post the finished cosplay here but I decided years ago not to post any photos online😔
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doodle page of some hxh and some tonaegiri (and meeee <33)
close ups under cut
+ the original reference for the cunty togiri pose
#my arts#hxh#tonaegiri#i'm not taggin everyone r u kiddin me#my hair does not look like this tezuka character ass cut but i lowkey wish it did#started experimenting with fursona designs i started rereading beastars and it's fun#can't pick a beast to settle on yet tho#sometimes when i dress masc i do that tboy slouch still and hear my mom yelling from miles away#but even when im not dressing masc i do that bc of years carrying around a heavy ass backpack..blame the education system#have been wanting to draw togiri as that photo since i first saw it. wish i had it in a better resolution rip#maybe i'll redraw it and render them in all their cunty glory <- wishful#i also need to figure out how to draw kurapika vs byakuya bc right now they look v similar with their gay ass bobs#i rlly should draw myself wearing anything other than the dysphoria hoodie but it's getting cold and it's perf for the weather
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polls etc. about out LGBT+ people in high school have reminded me of a thing that happened in eighth grade, which i realize is not high school. our middle school yearbooks had superlatives, those elected yearbook awards ('best smile,' 'most likely to be president,' etc., which hopefully have died out because they are stupid), and in eighth grade i won one. it was the 'most unique' award, which has never in my opinion been given in the spirit of kindness, or certainly not in the suburban south; i was the female winner & my counterpart was a guy in my art class who we all knew was gay. he insisted he was not gay but on living history day he wore pleather pants to be mozart. we went to different high schools & lost touch, but as far as i know he is now happily out; he came out our first year of college, i think [i came out in twelfth grade when my partner at the time cofounded our school's first GSA]. we were on friendly terms in middle school & liked one another, and i thought he was embarrassing (pleather pants) but also a good artist & a kind person. i regret finding him embarrassing now, & of course i was myself not really less embarrassing. i found this superlative deeply painful & humiliating at the time, & i think now as i thought then that it was meant that way. a few years later, when i found out that i was not straight, this experience was recontextualized for me. i think there are a lot of ways that people are out, or legible to others; some of us have more latitude to choose than others, but it's a complicated, shifting social equation, and our personal experiences of trying to navigate it are so painful that it can feel impossible to hear other accounts
#irredeemable whining#as revenge i held up a sign that said 'fuck you' in morse code for the superlative photo; i was found out as soon as yearbooks went out#my parents were very angry with me & i was supended out of school for a few days & i had to write apology letters about it#i felt very hard done by at the time#i had i think the very common teen desire to be seen as special & interesting & important & felt betrayed by this manifestation of my wish#i wasn't bullied at school & i don't think my parents took this event as meanspirited. i do get it.#still a man may keep its petty resentments if it likes!
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