#I wish I didn’t care

[every-thing-is-copacetic]

I feel everything way too much and all at once.

[screaming--agony]

Dear Diary,

I miss when you asked about me, showed interest in my life, in me as a person, or how my day was.

[cocainechihuahua]

I wish someone was in love with me

[offeatherandfall]

Me when I write about people who will never know or will simply never realize that I’m writing about them

[the-descolada]

I’m like more distant but still fucking frustrated and sad bc such a seemingly steady friendship did not deserve to end in such a pointlessly hurtful way, and it’s just unbelievable still that they would treat me that way and have so little self awareness of their responsibility for essentially blowing it all up over their own anxiety and unexamined biases and abysmal communication and conflict resolution skills

[cobwebkisser]

Letting Go

The physical, inhumane urge to splurge myself in the obscene. To do things that would get me awfully crude looks, to do things that would not be socially acceptable by any means.

The way doing what I want eats away at my soul, like it's begging me to let go. Why care about what anyone else thinks? I can choose to give up my self doubt and plunder into the world that works endlessly around my human body.

Gravity is my only restriction.

My mind has no leverage.

My self doubt does not control me.

I control me.

[ghostisventing]

I fucking hate him why does he respond to everyone else in crisis but me?

He forgot my birthday present too

Do I have to be on my fucking death bed for him to care??

I tell him I need surgery, no response. I tell him I want to kill myself, no response

But he has no problem reaching out to other people dealing with similar things and then he has the fucking audacity say “I’m busy” and “I’ve been floating around” yeah for everyone EXCEPT ME

When was the last time we had a fucking conversation? How long have I been patient with you? How many times have I reached out only for you to ignore me for MONTHS?!

I’m getting sick and tired of waiting and I’m sick and tired of him treating me like this

[mytearsarethestars5]

I was never given the proper means to grieve,

Too many needs fell before my own,

And I was left struggling

Reassuring others that I was fine

When I was drowning.

[bellcza]

lionel messi, i just won’t ever be able to quit you

[explode-this]

That thing of where you get new glasses that looked ok at the optometrist but once you get them home they appear to change entirely the way you look and therefore the way you perceive yourself (and think others will perceive you) because as an AuDHD kind of person face blindness knows no boundaries and you, too, may fall victim to your own brain 😵‍💫

[ihadmysightsetonyourightaway]

I guess my eyes do look prettier when they are puffy red instead of ganja red.

[frankenfartstein]

it’s so over

[maxgicalgirl]

Being a “Fun Fact !” kind of autistic is all fun and games until you get halfway through sharing an interesting tidbit and realize that it probably wasn’t appropriate to share in polite company and now you have to deal with the consequences :(

[patluver696969]

i’m afraid of sleeping rahh

[not-even-stitches-can-fix-this]

Just remembering a lines my mom said in the fight

“You’re not a doll so why do you act like one”

“Why can’t you ever be more positive about thing in life”

“Yeah just go back upstairs to your room and cry and go on your phone and hide from the world like you always do”

“Why do I even let you do anything”

“Why would you think i would yell at you?” [As she was yelling at me btw]

“You never feel like eating or doing anything”

“What happened to my creative little girl?”

“I wish you dad never gave you back your phones or let you keep your ‘online friends’”

“Why did you turn out like this?”

“What? It’s my fault you are messed up?”

“Stop taking about breathing and the fact you learned it to calm down in therapy” [i was talking about how I was trying to calm down before trying to look for her for some care of comfort]

The rest was blurry to me just me saying I’m sorry over and over while crying as she yelled at me for crying and not being good enough basically 💀💀

[shaykai]

Still thinking about Gortash’s coronation and how smoothly he cuts a Durge off from their companions (and wishing we had a follow up with that)

The first words out of his mouth are that he cares about them- anybody else who remembers Durge has only distain for them, but not him- he’s happy to see them, he missed them, they’re his favorite assassin and he’s only glad to see them alive

And then he takes it a step further by providing insight into their past, something Ketheric refused to do for them- and Gortash isn’t dumb. He knows exactly how Durge’s companions will react, knows that he’s effectively outing Durge when he so easily could have pulled them to the side instead

And when their companions snap at them and refuse to look at them, Gortash is still smiling. Suddenly, he’s the nicest person in the room. Suddenly, everything is unstable and dangerous- but he likes you. He’s sitting there with open arms while the companions are rightfully so mad with Durge, but Gortash is more than happy to resume their alliance

He’s more than happy to be their sole source of comfort again, and isn’t he just so sweet for that?