#I wish I could have blended myself into the background more
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hxney-lemcn · 1 year ago
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Looking Out For You — Giyū Tomioka x gn! hashira! reader
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summary: your decision to befriend the reclusive water hashira turns your life around for the better.
tw: anxious and insecure reader, awkward convos, non-descriptive injuries, mentions of getting stitches.
a/n: I finally wrote for Kimetsu no Yaiba, been a fan of this when there was only one season of the show (read the entire manga as it got updated).
wc: 6k
Master List
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It was no secret that the water hashira was a loner. He stuck to himself and blended into the background. At first you were neutral towards him, you were similar in a sense. Kept to yourself and tried to blend into the background. The big difference is that not only were you friends with the love hashira, but you had managed to endear yourself towards some of the others. You weren’t sure how you did it, but it was nice to know that they cared. For Giyū Tomioka, it was the complete opposite. 
You could only hear insults towards the man for so long. A part of you related to him, and hearing Kochō be so passive aggressive towards him made you feel unsettled. So you made up your mind, you were going to try and befriend Tomioka. You had been completely alone before, and you had wished for someone to befriend you, so you were sure he was longing for the same. 
You had told Mitsuri of your plan as you both walked towards the Ubuyashiki Estate. You all had been called for a brief. These were rare, but it was nice to see how your fellow hashira’s were, and also a perfect excuse to try and talk to the water hashira. Mitsuri was nearly jumping up and down at the information, an excited grin overtaking her features. 
“That’s so cute!” She squealed, clasping her hands together. “You have to tell me how it goes.”
“I already feel like I’m going to fail,” You said, slightly sweating at the thought. “Last time I tried to make a friend it ended up really awkward because I never know what to say.”
“Hm,” She hummed in thought. “Just try and find a connection.”
You purse your lips, “That’s easier said than done.”
It wasn’t much longer before you found yourself sitting next to the stoic man. Ubuyashiki was going over statistics, how we could improve and how well we’ve been doing. I felt myself getting more anxious by the second. After the meeting I would try and at least say hi, but I was wondering if that was a good idea. Seconds ticked by while you had basically toned out Ubuyashiki’s smooth voice, fingers fidgeting in your lap. Once you were all excused, you hyped yourself up, looking over to the black haired man.
 “Hello!” You said a little too loudly, a nervous smile adorned your lips as  you gained Tomioka’s attention. 
His blank stare watched you for a few seconds before replying, “Excuse me.”
Then he left. 
…just like that. You blinked, mouth dropping in slight awe at just how fast he managed to escape. You had spent so long going over situations and anxious thoughts…only for him to barely acknowledge you. 
You didn’t even realize Mitsuri joined you until she spoke up, “Maybe next time?”
You turned your attention to the green eyed beauty, a pout adorning your lips, “He didn’t even say hi back.”
“Ara ara~” Kochō joined us, an empty smile placed on her lips. “I’m afraid it’s a lost cause.”
Your playful pout had turned into a frown, your feelings towards the insect pillar were mixed. She was blunt, which would be nice at times, but others it could be harsh. “Oh well,” You shrugged. “At least I’ll be able to say I tried.”
You had accidently ran into Tomioka only a few days later. You were walking back to your estate, exhausted after a long mission. It was more tedious than difficult, as the walking had been longer than the fight by far. You couldn’t believe your eyes when they landed on the split patterned haori. Before your anxiety could get the best of you, you approached him.
“Hello!” You waved, this time not shouting. “How are you doing Tomioka-san?”
Once again his stoic features watched you briefly, like he was trying to gauge your intentions, “I’m doing fine.”
Yes! He couldn’t run away like last time, you’ll make sure of it.
“How old are you?” You asked, genuinely curious. He looked both young and old in a sense, and you were curious where you stood compared to your ages.
Another awkward pause as you both stood on the trail, Tomioka finally answered, “Ninteen.”
Your mouth dropped open, unable to hide your surprise, “Nineteen! I thought you were at least twenty-two!” Tamioka only glanced away awkwardly, and you waved your hands around. “Not that it's a bad thing, I’m only twenty! So we’re really close in age. Besides, Tokitō’s fourteen so nineteen isn’t that bad…sorry I’m rambling.”
Your anxiety started to run rampant, this is the most you had spoken to the water pillar and it was really awkward. You both seemed to be in the same boat as he awkwardly nodded, arms crossed as his eyes couldn’t meet yours. An awkward silence encompassed you both and you felt yourself losing your composure.
“I’m sorry,” You apologized again, feeling your face heat up in embarrassment. “I want to befriend you but I’m very bad at talking to others. Mitsuri-chan recommended finding something we both relate to, but I am unsure how to do that.” You weren’t sure if your mind was playing tricks on you, but you swore Tomioka’s eyes widened slightly, head tilting ever so slightly. He almost reminded you of a puppy. 
“We shouldn’t be friends,” Tomioka’s tone spoke with finality. Your brows furrowed, you could understand him saying that, but the sting of rejection overpowered your thoughts. Normally you’d bow as an apology and scurry away to mull over all the points in which you made yourself look like a fool, but your wish to friend him overpowered that.
“Why not?” You asked, a slight frown pulling on your lips. 
Tomioka opened his mouth only to close it, eyebrows furrowing in thought. Finally, he replied, “I don’t want to be friends with you.”
You nodded, the sting of rejection spreading. You felt your face flush in embarrassment as you bowed, “I apologize, I wish you well Tomioka-san.”
You quickly turned around, rushing towards your estate, shame and embarrassment continuing to flood through you. You had quickly written a letter to Mitsuri, venting about how embarrassed you were. You had been sent on another mission shortly after, allowing you to forget about your embarrassing fiasco, at least for a brief moment. You were nearly back to normal, your restless nights finally ceasing as the memory started to fade to the back of your mind. Until it was violently forced back to the forefront.
You had found yourself resting in the same wisteria house as Giyū Tomioka. You both sat in silence, eating your food without acknowledging the other. It felt wrong, like you should say something, but those words he spoke rang in your head, holding you back, ‘I don’t want to be friends with you.’ 
You hate to admit it, but that simple sentence had brung back insecurities you thought you had overcome. You didn’t blame him, not at all. It wasn’t Tomioka’s fault that you had seemed to crumble due to one person's seemingly unapproval of you. You ate with your head bowed, hoping that you weren’t annoying him in any way. Was it the way you looked? The way you talked? Had you rambled too much in your nervousness? Did your mere aura annoy him? If so, you felt even more guilty for making him sit in your presence. 
Tomioka on the other hand hadn’t noticed your inner dilemma. Although he did find you seeming to shrink in on yourself further and further unusual, he wasn’t sure what your normal was. You hadn’t seemed to act like this around the other hashira’s, he only saw glimpses of you. If he were to be honest, he had seen the way you interacted with Mitsuri, so lively and happy. He wished he could experience that side of you, but he knew he had ruined any chance already. ‘I don’t want to be friends with you,’ those words haunted him. It was a lie, he did in fact want to be friends with you, but you were better off without him. He would only manage to drag you down.
“Are you finished?” Tomioka asked. You hadn’t even realized you had stopped eating. Looking up at him for the first time, you stared at him with wide eyes.
“Oh! Uh, yeah,” You stumbled. “Here, I can clean up.” Moving faster than he could protest, you had grabbed the empty bowls and started cleaning, not wanting to be a burden. The lady of the house was surprised when you approached her with the dirty dishes, asking where to set them. When she protested you helping her wash them, you begrudgingly made your way back to your shared room for the night. 
“Thank you,” Tomioka spoke up randomly, causing you to glance at him.
“It’s okay,” You shrugged, prepping your futon to your liking. “I like helping.”
It was harder for you to fall asleep than you’d like to admit. You had been running around for the past few days and it seemed that your mind couldn’t settle just yet. You kept your eyes closed, willing yourself to sleep as your body felt exhausted. 
It was even harder for you to fall asleep as Tomioka had murmured into the night, “I wish we could be friends, but this is for the best.”
Great, now you really weren’t going to fall asleep. 
The sun was just starting to shine through the windows, causing you to slowly wake up. You were surprised that you had awoken earlier than Tomioka. He looked so peaceful, the usual tension in his face had been relaxed. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you went to take care of yourself in the bathroom. Your foggy mind slowly remembered the restless night before, how Tomioka had confessed to wanting to be friends with you when he thought you were asleep. Now that you knew that you weren’t the problem/reason, you were going to try even harder to befriend him.
When you returned to the room, you had half expected the room to be empty, but to your delight, Tomioka was still there, having just woken up.
“Good morning,” You smiled sleepily, still feeling sluggish. You tried to ignore how cute he looked as he rubbed his eyes.
“Good morning,” Tomioka replied back softly. 
“Did you sleep well?” You asked, hoping to keep the conversation going. While talking, you made your way to your satchel, making sure everything was in order.
“Yes,” He replied, the sounds of shuffling cloth coming from behind you. Glancing back, you watched as he was about to leave. “Excuse me,” He alerted, sliding the door open and leaving. At first you thought he was leaving completely like the last time, except you noticed his sword was still in the room. 
‘Good,’ You thought. ‘He should at least eat something before leaving.’
The lady of the house knocked on the door before entering, a bright smile on her face. You both chatted briefly as she set up a zataku table, loading some food on top. Tomioka entered the room not long after, glancing at the food but ignoring it. Swallowing the bite of taiyaki, I spoke up, “You should join me! The food’s really good.”
“I’m not hungry,” Tomioka muttered.
You bit your lip, trying to think of how you could get to know him better, “Not even for just a bite of rice?” His deep blue eyes glanced at me, pausing before he grabbed his sword, then his eyes drifted to the food. “I really can’t eat this all by myself,” You said, hoping that would finally entice him. It seemed your persuasive skills were better than you thought (or his loneliness was finally getting the best of him). 
As you both sat at the table, you found yourself rambling about your mission. The awkwardness between the both of you from before had seemed to vanish (on your end at least) as you talked to fill the silence. How the demon’s you were sent to kill had become more challenging, how the treck left you exhausted, how awkward you were around to kakushi. It got to the point of you rambling about this cute Ezo red fox you saw.
Tomioka may be a bit oblivious at times, but he had noticed this drastic change. Just last night you barely let out a peep, and now you were talking about anything and everything. He didn’t mind, no one has talked with him in such a way since…Sabito. It felt very bittersweet for him. He could only ponder on what caused your change, and he hoped that you hadn’t heard his confession last night. Especially since he found his will to be weaker than he’d like to admit. 
Misturi was a very good listener. The way she’d dramatically gasp or watch with bated breath. You knew she was hanging on to every word you spoke. When you had finished filling her in on everything that had happened between both you and Tomioka she squealed. 
“You two are so cute!” She smiled brightly, finishing another bowl of pork cutlet.
“More like we’re both awkward,” You mumbled. Picking at your food (still only on your first portion).
“He said he wanted to be your friend!” She pointed at you with her chopsticks. 
“But I’m not sure how to proceed,” You complained. “Do I just keep talking his ear off about random stuff? I feel like that’ll get annoying quickly.”
“Why don’t you get him something?” She asked, sipping some tea. “Maybe that’ll open him a little.”
“Hmm,” You pondered. What would you even get him? “Maybe.”
So you had continued to think about what a reclusive water hashira may like. It didn’t help that you were in the midst of a market. Vendors resided on either side, showing off their wares to entice customers to view their stalls. You took in the sites, yet nothing really caught your eyes. That was until a vendor who was selling omamori. You were surprised to find someone selling these charms outside of a shrine, so you were a bit weary of the product, but they seemed to be made from genuinely good materials.
You perused the items, there were many different colors and intentions. Finally, you picked out a blue omamori that wishes for happiness. You didn’t really think much of it. You did, in fact, wish Tomioka happiness. The rest of your mission went smoothly, and you sent Tomioka a letter upon your arrival. In the time it took for your crow to come back, you had almost forgotten of the invite. You felt yourself waiting anxiously for the time to come, tidying up your estate even more (much to the kakushi’s dismay), making sure you had enough tea and snacks. 
By the time Tomioka had arrived, you already had two cups of tea and a snack platter set out on your engawa. It was a nice warm and bright sunny day, and you might as well enjoy the scenery of the forest that surrounded your estate. You greeted him with a bright smile, coaxing him to sit down. The both of you savored the tea, sipping in silence. It was nice. Normally you’d feel pressured to say something, like you were failing at keeping the other person entertained, but at the moment you felt peaceful. Sharing a warm cup of tea on a nice day with someone you cared about. 
You watched as the sun rays fell down, barely hitting the forest floor. Rabbits hopping about as insects buzzed around. You quite liked your estate, you were grateful for all that Ubuyashiki has given you. It was in a secluded area not too far from a small village. It gave you a space for yourself, but you were still close enough to society that you weren’t a hermit. You enjoyed nature as well, watching animals was one of your favorite hobbies as you discovered silly little behaviors that they would do. Though as a hashira you found yourself having less and less time to yourself. 
“I have something for you,” You finally spoke up. You both had finished a cup of tea and some of the snacks were gone. You turned your gaze to Tomioka, only to meet his ocean blue eyes. You took the omamori out of your pocket and handed it to the water hashira. He hesitated before finally accepting the gift. You bit your lips, trying to suppress the giant grin that threatened to spread across your lips. A light pink dusted across his cheeks as he stared at it. 
“You didn’t have to,” He replied, eyes still on the gift. “...thank you.”
“No biggie,” You waved it off. “I saw it and thought of you.” You didn’t realize what you said until you had said it. Your eyes widened, and Tomioka’s blush seemed to only intensify. Deciding that ignoring the remark was the best option, you started talking about your last mission and the market you had found that charm in. A giddy feeling overwhelmed you as you watched Tomioka pocket the charm, his gaze looking warmer than usual. 
It was safe to say both you and Tomioka were quite close to each other now. You were someone he enjoyed spending time with and you loved being in his presence. The awkwardness that had initially been a part of your relationship fizzled, a warm atmosphere left in its wake. The two of you would spend time over tea, mostly at your estate, but you were proud to say you’ve spent time at his as well. Sometimes you found yourself going on walks on the trails that littered across your property, and you would point out animals you’d observed and little facts you found out about them over the years. Tomioka thought that if demons hadn’t screwed over the world, you’d have made a wonderful researcher.  
The feeling of something slipping into your pocket had put you on edge. Turning your head swiftly to the side, you stared at Tomioka with wide eyes. He stared at you back, eyes wide and cheeks a light pink. He had been caught. He didn’t know what he was expecting, you were a highly skilled hashira, trained to detect the slightest thing off. Slipping your hand into your pocket, you pulled out an omamori. You felt your face flush as it was not only your favorite color, but it was an anti-evil omamori. 
“Thank you, Tomioka-san,” You thanked with a bright smile. You were so busy trying to figure out how to attach the charm to the hilt of your sword, you almost missed Tomioka’s next words.
“Giyū,” He muttered, head turned away from you. You stared at him slightly in confusion until he clarified, “You can call me Giyū.”
“Thank you, Giyū-san,” You clarified, smiling so wide it felt like your cheeks hurt. “You can call me by my first name as well.” He nodded, still not facing your direction. Tugging gently at his haori, you led him to continue your walk along the trail, the day seeming a lot brighter than before. 
“Please Giyū-san,” You pleaded, putting on your best puppy dog eyes.
He tried his hardest to not meet your gaze, feeling his resolve slowly crumbling, “I…am busy that day.”
“Pleeeeease,” You drawled out, hands clasped as you jutted out your bottom lip. “I don’t want to be stuck as a third wheel.” He had accidently met your gaze, and he felt himself fold, how could you look so cute? 
“Fine.”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” You exclaimed, pulling him into a hug without a second thought, squeezing him tightly to try and express your gratitude. “I love Mitsuri-chan but Iguro-san scares me.” Giyū stood stiff, arms fell limply at his sides. Unsure what to do, he awkwardly patted your back before you pulled away. Your warmth that had seeped into him seemed to vanish and he immediately wished you held him for just a moment longer. 
The dinner had arrived too quickly for his liking. Although he found himself wanting to spend more time with you, and he didn’t mind Kanroji, Iguro had made his distaste of the water hashira clear multiple times. He hasn’t spent time with you in the presence of others, and he was scared that you’d finally come to your senses and sever your ties with him. 
He had arrived at least fifteen minutes early, which was exactly when you arrived as well. Giyū couldn’t help but stare at you in awe as he approached. You stood to the side of the restaurant that you were all to dine in. You wore a simple kimono, but he couldn’t help but find himself astounded. He thought you were ethereal in your uniform and haori, but seeing you in such casual wear had seemed to revise your beauty in another light. 
You, on the other hand, felt blood drain from your face. Giyū had been the next to arrive after you, and he was wearing his uniform. Your brain had become frenzied as you wondered if you had enough time to make it back to your estate and change your clothes. You didn’t want to stand out amongst your friends. 
“Wait, is everyone going to be in their uniform?” You blurted, feeling slightly dizzy at the thought. Giyū, still being stunlocked, seemed oblivious to your turmoil, shrugged. Your shoulders raised as Giyū stood next to you, waiting for the other two to join. Your brain continued to bug you for ten minutes, and only got worse upon notice of their outfits. Both in their uniforms. You felt your face flush in embarrassment, wanting to hide behind the water hashira as Mitsuri and Iguro spotted you both. 
“Hi!” Misturi waved enthusiastically before gasping your name. “Your kimono is so cute!” Unconsciously, you slightly hide yourself behind Giyū, not enjoying all the eyes on you. This is exactly why you didn’t like standing out in a crowd. 
“Thank you,” You muttered, hand grasping gently at Giyū’s haori. Normally, you wouldn’t have such a harsh reaction to being in such a position, but you could feel Iguro’s eyes watching your every move, judging your every decision. But you’d have to endure it, for Mitsuri’s sake. 
Giyū wasn’t faring much better. He hadn’t expected you to become so shy, using him as a shield. It made him feel a bit prideful and protective, you had chosen him even though you had been friends with Kanroji for longer. Though he also felt a bit embarrassed, unsure how to react to such a situation. He had never thought someone he found attractive would look at him, let alone find comfort in him in such a way. 
You all had entered the restaurant, Mitsuri trying not to squeal at the site before her. She had been trying to refrain from mentioning how your relationship with Giyū seemed to be some romantic plot from a novel she’s read. Every detail you shared with her had her blushing in excitement. She had recalled when you told her you didn’t expect to find love in this lifetime. As a demon slayer, you had little freetime, and the fact that you never knew if the day was going to be your last would loom over you until demons were eradicated. So having friends was tough, and a lover even tougher. She couldn’t be more overjoyed by the fact that you had managed to find someone even with the complications. Which led her to this master plan with Obanai, a secret double date (it would be a double date in her heart). A double date where only one person knew of it as such. 
Once you all got in, you found yourself feeling more comfortable. You found yourself in a comfortable conversation with Mitsuri, both your companions silent as they eyed the other up. It was a comical site for anyone who witnessed it. Mitsuri had beat us all in the amount she consumed, a bright smile as she asked for another. The atmosphere was warm in the small restaurant, the night sky shining through the windows. You slightly felt bad for Iguro and Giyū, as they both seemed out of their element, but overall it was a fun night. It almost felt like a date due to the fact Giyū insisted on walking you home. 
It didn’t take long after that night for you to realize your feelings. You were helping two lower ranked demon slayers defeat a demon. At the end of the battle they had checked in on the other, making sure they were both relatively okay before embracing. It had reminded you of how you treated Giyū, and suddenly it all came crashing down on you. You were in love with Giyū Tomioka. The two demon slayers had thanked you, as you weren’t there to help them initially. They were surprised at how kind you were towards them, remarking how they heard all the hashira’s were cold. You quickly waved them off with a slight laugh, explaining how most of you were just trying to get by like the rest of them. 
You had continued to stew on your feelings, unable to think of anything else. Your mind had been so dangerously drifting off, you found yourself injured. Not gravely, thankfully, but enough for you to end up in butterfly manor. 
“It’s rare to find you here,” Kochō commented as she cleaned your wound, causing you to wince. “Is something the matter? Have you finally realized the lack of heart Tomioka has?”
You frowned, unsure if unpacking your feelings to Kochō was the right play. It wasn’t due to Tomioka’s lack of heart, rather how much heart he has. Your eyes drifted to the sword leaned against the wall next to your current bed, the omamori charm dangling tauntingly. 
“No,” You confessed, hands clenching as she cleaned a particularly deep wound. “It’s actually quite the opposite.”
You took slight satisfaction in the surprise Kochō’s eyes held, but her empty smile didn’t waver, “Don’t tell me he’s managed to trick you somehow.”
“No,” You once again simply answered. “It’s all my own doing.” That was true, in a sense. Of course you couldn’t control your own feelings, but it was you who pushed past Giyū’s barriers and managed to sneak your way into his heart, just as he had snuck his way into yours. Though you weren’t sure if he viewed you in such a way, and you didn’t want to push him farther than he could handle. 
Without pause, Kochō took out a suture kit, threading the needle. Your eyes widened in horror. You’ve only needed stitches very few times, and the nausea you felt when a needle was presented never left. Mercifully, Kochō took out a balm and applied it to the skin around your wound. 
Waiting for a few moments to let the balm numb your skin, she spoke up, “Don’t get your hopes too high with him.” It was at that moment that you realized that Kochō was looking out for you…in a passive aggressive way. Although you didn’t exactly like the way she showed this care (by insulting Giyū), you still felt touched that she even cared in the first place. 
“Don’t worry,” You shrugged. “They’re never really high in the first place.” It was that moment she deemed worthy to pierce your skin. 
You didn’t need too many stitches thankfully, but even with the numbing the process was excruciating. You were relieved when the bandages were finally applied and Kochō bid you farewell. You were sore all over, waiting for the medicine Kochō made you take to finally kick in. Not only were you sore and tired, but you felt slightly ashamed. You allowed your emotions to overtake you and get injured in battle. You were a hashira, these simple things weren’t meant to let your guard down. 
You had been so absorbed in your thoughts, you hadn’t noticed said water hashira entering your room. Kochō hadn’t been too surprised when she saw him stalking down the hall as she exited your room. With your previous conversation, and the bits Kanroji accidentally let slip, she had pieced together that Tomioka wasn’t all she thought he was. It was hard for her to believe that he would care about someone, but now that she witnessed the terror that shone in his blue eyes, he had even managed to surprise her. 
“They’re resting,” Kochō said, a fake smile lifting the corners of her lips. “Visiting hours aren’t open for them yet.”
Giyū didn’t even pause, continuing his trek to your room. It didn’t matter that his crow had told him you were only mildly injured, or the fact that Kochō left your room (a clear indicator that you were fine), he needed to see that you were okay with his own eyes. He had lost so much already, and he surrendered himself of such attachments, not only because he didn’t deserve it, but because he didn’t want to go through that again. You had managed to brighten his days again, he looked forward to waking up, wondering if he’d get to hear you laugh that day. All the good came crashing down the second he heard of your injured state.
You were both demon slayers, hashira at that, so you were bound to face injury. Yet he couldn’t help but blame himself. For what? Even he wasn’t sure, but he felt like it was due to the fact you were close to him. Karma for being the one to always survive. So when he quietly opened the sliding door, a breath of relief passed his lips as he saw you stare out the window. The sun hit your figure, causing a warm glow to light up your features. The usual smile that was on your face had turned into a frown, eyes distant. He wasn’t sure what to do. He had accomplished his mission, he’s seen you with his own eyes and you’re breathing perfectly fine, although the bandages that littered your face tugged at his heartstrings. 
“Oh, hello,” You spoke softly, snapping Giyū out of his thoughts. 
“Are you okay?” He asked, internally berating himself for asking such a stupid question. Of course you aren’t okay, you're sitting in a hospital bed at butterfly manor.
“I’m fine,” You smiled slightly. “Just some small injuries. Honestly all this pampering is a little too much if you ask me.” That was a slight lie on your part. It was clearly not just small injuries, or you wouldn’t have been taken to butterfly manor. You felt bad for the poor kakushi that had to tend to your injuries enough so you wouldn’t bleed out as they carried you all the way here. 
Giyū also seemed to sense your lie, his blue eyes unwavering from their intense stare. His eyes raked your body, trying to pinpoint all the injuries that littered your body. Fortunately for you, most of the injuries were hidden by your clothes and blanket. With a sigh, you patted the bed, gesturing for him to sit and join you. He did so hesitantly, ending up sitting as close to the edge as he could. You felt your mood lighten at the sight, the seriousness from before slowly dissipating. 
“You can sit closer silly,” You chuckled lightly. He scooted just slightly, and you smiled at him. “Okay so maybe I needed some stitches, but that was the worst of it. Really, I’m fine.”
Giyū’s shoulders slumped, finally he seemed to be able to calm down. You were fine, truly. You were still there, still sitting by him, still smiling at him, still laughing. Your breath hitched at how intense his gaze was. You felt your face flush as he stared at you with utter adoration. You felt your own gaze soften, probably matching his own. 
“It was my own fault,” You muttered, hoping to quell his worries further. “I was distracted, but that won’t happen again.” His eyebrows furrowed, the silent question in his eyes being loud enough for you to understand. Scratching your cheek, you looked away to try and hide your embarrassment. Should you just say it? Get it off your chest? Would he be weirded out? 
“I was thinking about you.”
Now you both were avoiding eye contact, flustered more than you’d like to admit. He hadn’t expected that. What exactly were you thinking? Have you been thinking about him often? It left him feeling warm at the thought. For some odd reason, it made him happy. 
The silence between you both grew, and you felt more anxious the longer it lasted. “Not…not  in a weird way,” You defended weakly, fidgeting with your fingers in your lap. Glancing up at him your eyes widened in wonder as a tiny smile pulled on the edges of his lips, red dusting his cheeks and the tips of his ears. If you could capture this moment, you would in a heartbeat. Deciding that now was your chance, you ripped the bandaid off.
“I think I’m in love with you.”
This time Giyū stared at you in disbelief, and you wondered if you did the wrong thing. But he had smiled earlier! The first smile you had ever seen grace his beautiful features. Perhaps you came to the wrong conclusion. Both of you stared at the other, waiting for the other to make a move. Your heart beat faster and faster the longer he stayed frozen. His entire face and neck was engulfed in a violent shade of red, and you were scared you might’ve broken him. 
“You don’t have to love me back or anything,” The words quickly tumbled passed your lips. “And I understand if you don’t want to be friends anymore. That’s a weird thing to confess to your friend.”
That seemed to snap him back, he looked down at his lap, trying to regain composure. He found it harder and harder to remain stoic in your presence. The emotions he repressed would always flow to the forefront when you were around, and although it could be overwhelming at times, he still welcomed the feelings. Not sure how to convey his feelings properly (he surely didn’t trust his mouth to say the right thing), he scooted a little closer to you. You watched with bated breath, unsure where he stood on your feelings (he really didn’t make it easy to read him either).
“I reciprocate your feelings,” He replied, voice wavering just slightly. You blinked, unsure if you heard him correctly. You weren’t sure what you expected, but such a formal response actually made you feel a bit better. Clearly this was new to both of you and you both weren’t sure how to go about this new territory. But that was fine, because you both could traverse it together.
Only a few days later, Mitsuri had managed to visit you. Giyū had refused to leave your side, assisting you with the simplest tasks. You felt bad for the girls who brought you your necessities as Giyū would watch their every move, ensuring you got all that you needed. When Mitsuri entered your room, she hadn’t expected to see the water hashira sitting next to you, let alone so close! Her green eyes took in the scenario, Giyū not meeting her gaze as he felt flustered that he was caught. You smiled brightly at the love hashira, welcoming her into the room.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner,” She apologized. 
“It’s okay,” You waved off her concern. “Giyū-kun has been keeping me company.”
Mitsuri couldn’t hold back her squeal, the two of you clearly have grown closer, dare she say you two have a more intimate relationship. Giyū looked even more flustered, head turned away from the both of you. 
“You have to tell me everything!”
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chimeracauldron · 19 days ago
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OMG!! Posting fully fleshed artworks like that on the daily is insane!!! How do you keep those juices flowing? And if it’s not an issue would you mind letting us see the speedpaint for Joan? Of the day: Memory ?
Haha, I wouldn't say they're all fully fleshed, the reason so many pieces are sketches is because that's all I have the time/energy for most days, but it's very flattering of you to say so ^^. For me, I just really like making art, it's basically all I want to do all the time, and I'm also pretty impatient, so I've learned to draw quite fast over the years. I'm also not exactly coming up with ideas on the spot, I've been using these daily drawing to explore ideas and OCs I've had bouncing around in in my head for a while.
I don't think it's a sustainable output for the record, the daily Joan?s has been a bit of a fun challenge I gave myself, and I'm lucky I have the time to do it, but I won't be posting daily Joan?'s anymore once I'm done with this little comic.
Unfortunately I don't make a habit of recording myself drawing, so I don't have a speedpaint to show you, but if it's interesting I could explain how I go about painting! I try to keep my process as simple as possible for these, and I have one brush I use for sketching, coloring, and painting. I wish I could tell you where I got the brush, I've long forgotten what it was originally, but it's just a textured pencil brush with pressure sensitivity on for the opacity and brush density and the minimum value set to 60/50.
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I usually only do these pieces in 3 layers, the sketch, rough color underneath, and then the paint over, sometimes I'll rough out a background on another layer, or I'll add a few more layers if I think I might wanna go back on something I'm trying. As you can see, the rough color stage is quite rough, so i do change things around a bit when I'm painting and continue to mess with the colors if I feel like it. I have areas of detail I focus on, but otherwise try to keep it rough, you can see there a lot of large brush strokes throughout, especially when I'm blending large blocks of color. My brush doesn't have color mixing on, that's where the opacity and density sensitivity on my brush some in, I usually just lightly layer the colors over each other and color pick the middle until I get a gradient I like. This also works as a handy shortcut for figuring out how to light contrasting colors, like the green light on the cat lady's reddish-brown fur.
Anyways, thank you for reading, I hope that was all at least a little bit informative ^^
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withering-bloom · 4 months ago
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Arlecchino x Fem Reader Angst
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Arlecchino angst because I hate myself and I’m incredibly depressed atm, listening to good luck, babe for the past four hours LMAO
arlecchino x fem Reader Angst ,internalised homophobia, reader marrying a man tw.
2.5k words
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The ballroom was gilded in gold and excess, every chandelier a mockery of the weight crushing your chest. Guests danced in practiced elegance, their laughter ringing hollow in your ears. Your fingers clenched the fabric of your white dress as you stood at the edge of the festivities, trying to make yourself invisible. But no amount of opulence could dull the aching in your heart.
You shouldn’t have looked. You promised yourself you wouldn’t, but when her piercing gaze found yours from across the room, it was as though the ground beneath you disappeared. Arlecchino stood in the shadowed corner, her presence impossible to ignore despite her effort to blend into the background. The tailored suit she wore fit her perfectly, but it was her expression that broke you. Her normally unreadable face now bore something raw, something vulnerable.
You forced yourself to look away.You have a husband now you're supposed to give your undivided attention and support to him.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. You weren’t supposed to fall in love with her.
But you had.
Your father’s voice lingered in your mind like a cruel shadow, a constant reminder of why you were here tonight. His words were sharp, not with pride but with practicality, as he justified your union with the Demoisters, the family you're now bearing your last name with. It wasn’t about love or your happiness—it never was. This marriage was nothing more than a transaction, a lifeline for your father to pull himself out of crippling debt, no matter the cost to you.
Sometimes, in the back of your mind where your unspoken dreams slowly die , you wished the weight of his failures would finally crush him. Maybe then, you could finally escape the invisible chains he had wrapped around you for as long as you could remember. Even now, as a grown woman, you were nothing more than a pawn to him, your life reduced to serving his needs, his ambitions, his mistakes.
You’d tried to tell yourself it wasn’t his fault, that he was only doing what he thought was necessary to save your family. But that excuse had grown thin, and now, standing in the midst of this charade, you couldn’t ignore the bitter truth. He would never see you as more than a tool. And you—despite everything you wanted to believe—were too afraid to break free.
The realisation sank deeper, heavier, like a stone tied to your soul. You weren’t living for yourself. You never had been.Marrying the heir of another family wasn’t just an expectation—it was a lifeline for your family’s survival. You couldn’t afford the luxury of choice, let alone the freedom to love someone as dangerous as Arlecchino.
She’d warned you.
All that rang through your mind was the night before all of this happened. The last encounter you had with Arlecchino before she called off things with you for good.
“Your father is just using you,” she said, her voice low but trembling with restrained anger. Her eyes, usually so piercing, now brimmed with raw pain and frustration. “He doesn’t care what you want. He never has.”
You flinched at her words, but it wasn’t because she was wrong. It was because she was right, and hearing the truth from her lips made it unbearable.
“I—he’s my father,” you mumbled, the excuse tasting bitter in your mouth. You couldn’t meet her gaze, your eyes fixed on the floor instead, where the shadows of candlelight danced—so fragile, so fleeting. “It’s not that simple. I don’t have a choice.”
“There’s always a choice,” she snapped, stepping closer, her voice growing more desperate. “But you’re too scared to take it. You’re scared of what they’ll say. What he’ll say. That’s why you’re going through with this farce of a marriage, isn’t it? Because it’s easier to let them decide your life for you than to fight for what you actually want.”
Her words hit like daggers, and you hated how well she could see through you. She always could.
“You don’t understand,” you whispered, your voice cracking under the weight of your own emotions. “I have to do this. It’s my family—”
“It’s not your family,” she interrupted, her voice sharp enough to cut through the air. “It’s him. It’s always been him. He doesn’t care about you, about what makes you happy. He’s doing this for himself—to save his business, to save his reputation. And he’s dragging you down with him, forcing you to live a life that isn’t yours.”
Tears burned in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. Not here. Not now. “It’s not that simple,” you said again, but the words were hollow, and you knew she could hear it too.
“And for what?” she pressed, her voice softening but losing none of its intensity. “For a family that doesn’t see you for who you are? For a man who doesn’t love you—and never will? That’s why you’re marrying him and not me, isn’t it?”
The silence that followed was deafening.
She took a step back, her shoulders trembling as she let out a bitter scoff, the sound laced with heartbreak. “Because they’d rather see you miserable than happy with me. Because they’d rather you live a lie than accept the truth. And you’re letting them. You’re letting them steal everything from you, including me.”
Your chest tightened, and the tears finally fell, hot and unforgiving, streaking down your face. You wanted to tell her she was wrong, to reach out and beg her to stay, but your voice caught in your throat. Because deep down, you knew she was right.
“I can’t,” you whispered, your voice so quiet it was almost inaudible. “I can’t fight them. I’m not strong enough.”
Her expression crumbled, her mask of anger giving way to something far more devastating—grief. “Then that’s it, isn’t it?” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “You’re going to let them decide your life for you. And you’re going to lose me in the process.”
She turned away, and for a moment, you wanted to reach for her, to beg her to understand, to stay despite everything. But you didn’t. You couldn’t.
“I love you,” you said, the words breaking on your lips.
She paused, her back still to you. “Then you should’ve chosen me.”
And with that, she walked away, leaving you alone in the suffocating quiet of your own cowardice, your heart shattering into pieces you would never put back together.
But you had no choice.
Now, the gilded ring on your finger felt heavier than lead. Every step you took toward the man you were bound to felt like another nail in the coffin of your happiness. He smiled at you, oblivious to the storm raging within you, as he held out his hand to guide you into the first dance.
You moved mechanically, your heart somewhere else entirely—across the room, where Arlecchino stood unmoving, watching.
When the music slowed, and the crowd dissolved into polite applause, you excused yourself under the guise of needing air. The garden was empty, the cool night breeze biting against your skin. But it wasn’t the cold that made you shiver.
“I shouldn’t have come.”
Her voice was low, cutting through the silence like a blade. You turned to see her standing there, her suit blending into the shadows.
“Then why are you here?” you whispered, your voice trembling.
She stepped closer, and for a moment, you thought she might touch you, but her hands stayed firmly at her sides. “Because I had to see it for myself,” she said, her voice cracking. “Had to see you give yourself to someone else.”
“I've told you a million times it wasn’t my choice,” you said, tears welling in your eyes.
“There’s always a choice,” she hissed, her calm veneer cracking to reveal the fury and heartbreak underneath. “But you’ve made yours.”
Her words stung, but they weren’t untrue. You had made a choice. A cruel, impossible choice.
“I love you,” you said, your voice breaking as the tears spilled freely now. “I love you more than I can put into words, but—”
“But it doesn’t matter,” she interrupted, her tone hollow and sharp. Her hands twitched at her sides, as if fighting the urge to reach for you, to pull you close one last time. “It never mattered, did it?”
“That’s not true,” you whispered, stepping closer, but she stepped back, the distance between you an unspoken barrier you knew you’d never cross again.
“You’ve already chosen,” she said bitterly, her voice trembling in a way you’d never heard before. “And I’m not going to stand here and beg for the scraps of your heart. Not when you’ve already handed it over to someone else—someone you don’t even love.”
Her words struck you like a physical blow, and you recoiled, clutching the fabric of your dress as though it could hold together the pieces of your breaking heart. “This isn’t fair, Arlecchino,” you choked out. “I’m doing this for my family—”
“For your family,” she repeated, the words dripping with venom. “What about you? What about what you want? Or does what we had mean so little that you can throw it away without a second thought?”
“It’s not that simple,” you pleaded, your voice barely audible.
“It is,” she snapped, her sharp eyes blazing with a mix of fury and heartbreak. “You just don’t want to admit it. You’re a coward, and you’re running from the one thing that’s real.” Your shoulders stiffened as you raised your head up to look her directly in the eyes.
“So what?” you snapped, the words spilling out before you could stop them, sharp and defensive, laced with fear you refused to acknowledge. “I’m doing what’s best for my mother and my sisters. They need this—they need me to do this.” You folded your arms tightly across your chest, trying to steady the tremble in your voice. “You don’t understand. They would never… they’d never look at me the same if they knew about—about us.”
Your voice cracked, and you swallowed hard, willing yourself not to cry. You hated how weak you sounded, how transparent. “They’d disown me,” you whispered, almost to yourself now, the words like broken glass in your throat. “They’d hate me. My own mother, my sisters—they’re the only family I have, and if I lose them, I’ll have nothing.”
Her silence stung, and when you finally looked up, the hurt in her eyes was unbearable.
“They wouldn’t hate you,” she said softly, but there was an edge of disbelief in her tone. “They’d come to understand. They love you. Isn’t that what family is supposed to do?”
You let out a bitter laugh, shaking your head. “You don’t know them like I do. Love isn’t unconditional in my family. Love is earned. And if they found out about this, about me…” You trailed off, your chest tightening as the weight of it all pressed down on you,while fiddling with the ring chained around your finger, “They’d never forgive me for ruining everything.”
“You’re not ruining anything,” she argued, her voice rising with frustration. “You’re just too afraid to live your life—our life. You’re letting their expectations cage you, and for what? To keep their love? What about your own happiness? What about mine?”
You flinched, her words cutting deeper than you wanted to admit. “You don’t get it,” you hissed, desperation creeping into your voice. “This isn’t just about me. This is about them, about saving them from losing everything. And—and being with you? It’s wrong, don’t you see that?”
Her face fell, her expression crumbling into something between anger and heartbreak. “Wrong?” she echoed, her voice barely audible. “You think this is wrong?”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” you said quickly, but the damage was already done.
“Yes, you did,” she shot back, her voice trembling. “You think being able to allow yourself to love me is wrong. You think you are wrong.”
Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. “You don’t understand,” you repeated, weaker this time. “It’s not about love. It’s about survival. And if that means I have to bury this—bury us—then so be it.”
Her shoulders sagged, and she let out a shaky breath. “I hope it’s worth it,” she said quietly, her voice devoid of the fire it once carried. “Giving up everything that matters to you. Including yourself.”
The silence that followed was unbearable. You reached out, desperate, but her cold, empty laugh froze you in place.
“Do me a favor,” she said softly, her voice cracking under the weight of her own words. “When you stand at that altar tomorrow and say your vows, don’t think of me. Don’t look at him and wish it was me standing there instead. Because I won’t be waiting for you, not now, not ever.”
Her words broke something in you, but before you could respond, she turned and walked away, her silhouette dissolving into the shadows.
You didn’t follow her.
You stood frozen in the cold garden, the echoes of her parting words wrapping around your throat like a noose. When you finally found the strength to move, your steps felt heavy, every movement dragging you closer to a future you no longer wanted.
As you re-entered the ballroom, the weight of the ring on your finger seemed to double, a gilded chain binding you to a life of pretense. Your fiancé greeted you with a warm smile, but you barely heard his words. You saw only Arlecchino’s back as she disappeared into the darkness, taking your heart with her.
And as the music swelled and the guests toasted to your impending marriage, the truth settled in your chest like a dagger:
You would love her for the rest of your life, but she would never forgive you.
And you would never forgive yourself.
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Live,love,lesbian angst.
Me writing this fanfic:
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jadeshifting · 5 months ago
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i want to shift tonight but i literally haven’t legitimately tried in years. honestly i just want the freaking accomplishment of TRYING at least
if you could give me the most simple mundane steps to even get close to like a relaxation state or feel any symptoms, that would be literally perfect because im a train wreck and i can’t handle complicated instructions
with love,
aves
MY LOVEEE AVES sorry i didn’t get to this until right now, i’m not sure if our time zones are different but i wish i could’ve helped you last night, when you sent this ask i was drunk and eating a gyro on a sidewalk 😔
i completely understand where you’re coming from !! i feel like i have my nighttime routine pretty down, so i’d be happy to give u my lil routine, BUT a couple disclaimers first:
— you don’t need any routine to shift !! sources like early shifttok kept trying to brainrot everyone into thinking they had to do their skincare, clean their room, do their homework, drink a gallon of water, etc etc etc before bed in order to shift. that’s dumb, ignore everyone who said that
— i totally get what you mean when you say you haven’t legitimately tried in years. i fall victim constantly to the “don’t try at all to avoid the disappointment of ‘failure’”, like if i make no attempt at all, then i didn’t fail at anything when i wake up in my CR in the morning
the way i got past this was by “attempting” every night. and i don’t mean laying there and trying to force myself to stay awake while i counted backwards from 100 or anything like that. i mean deep breathing, loosely (BIG emphasis on loosely) visualizing where i’ll be waking up, and telling myself ‘i’m in my DR.’
the first step to the mindset shift is that ‘attempts’ don’t really exist, only whether or not you’ve fully and truly decided you are in your DR
there’s plenty more i could say on this topic, which is farrrr more important than the night routine itself, but i’ll get into what you actually asked for now:
— DRIFT & SHIFT ( a teensy little night routine for the girlies who have a hard time chilling out )
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˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .      . ✦     ˚     . ★⋆. ࿐࿔
( your night routine won’t determine whether or not you shift, but it certainly helps if you’re relaxed, and that’s what this routine is for )
DAYTIME PREP .  .   ˚ . throughout your day, do robotic affirmations. it’s a great thing to get in the habit of doing in general—murmuring to yourself, humming, or just silently repeating them to yourself in your head. “I am shifting every second.” “I am a master shifter.” “I am aware of my desired reality.” “Shifting is less than effortless.” feed your subconscious the important stuff all day, not just at night
1 .  .   ˚ . PHONE ON SILENT — the moment you decide to start winding down and focusing on relaxation. i mean it. not even vibrate. SILENT.
2 .  .   ˚ . HOT SHOWER — i always feel my most relaxed when i crawl into bed after taking a burning hot shower. the sigh you let out when you’re squeaky clean and wrapping yourself in your comforter means you’ve reached an entirely new plane of relaxation
3 .  .   ˚ . STRETCHING — you don’t even need a yoga mat, you can do it once you’re already laying down. alternatively, you don’t even have to stretch, just systematically go through each of your body parts and make a point to relax them. regardless of which you do, the objective is to release any physical tension from the day. sink into your bed like you’re being pulled down into a cloud
4 .  .   ˚ . SOUNDTRACK — put on something in the background, it truly doesn’t matter what—whatever feels right. it could be positive frequencies, a subliminal for shifting, ambient sound that connects you to your DR (hogwarts common room ambiance, forest or ocean sounds, etc. i’ve found some real gems on youtube before), or just soft music playing. quiet enough so it doesn’t distract you, and you can sink into it
5 .  .   ˚ . SCENTTRACK — my reasoning for spraying various perfumes, lavender blend sleep sprays, or body mists before i go to sleep isn’t just for relaxation, it’s also for distraction. in my experience, if something in my environment is different when i’m laying down to sleep (a different smell than i’m used to, for example) makes it much easier to convince myself that i’m aware of another reality—which is the name of the game, really: believing it
6 .  .   ˚ . DEEP BREATHS — my favorite part, and the most important part. nothing in the whole world will get you more relaxed than laser-focusing in on your breathing—in, out, in, out. you’re already in your DR
let go of the pressure and let yourself float into that in-between state where dreams and reality start to blur
goodnight, shifter. sweet dreams and even sweeter DRs :^)
.  .   ˚ . this guide is for anyone, but this DISCLAIMER IS FOR AVERY MY DEAR SPECIFICALLY — you get in your head about this sort of thing and overthink it. no tip or trick or routine is the “secret” to shifting. your mindset and your affirmations are the key, here. i hope this guide helps you relax for bed before shifting, but what you should be focusing on is tending to your precious subconscious and its tightly held beliefs. you’ve already shifted 🫶
˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .      . ✦     ˚     . ★⋆. ࿐࿔
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angelthefandomobsessed · 2 months ago
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Alright, I've entered your ask box. I say you do character studies. You write Leona so well ... Tell me how you developed your voice for him. Was he hard or easy to develop?
I think I'm naturally pretty good at picking up character voices (a skill that I think stems from having a more analytical brain when it comes to reading and writing). So, I never do anything too crazy to find a character voice, but I try to keep a few things in mind for Leona as I write.
Leona is very, very depressed. He doesn't have a lot of fight in him, but I get the sense that he wants to have that. He tried to make a grab for power during the Spelldrive tournament, but the second he was hit with resistance, he gave up. Leona is a prince, so he doesn't want for anything. This is in contrast to Ruggie, who is of low status and low income. Ruggie has a reason to fight for things. Both Leona and Ruggie want to elevate their status (Leona wishes he could be king, Ruggie wishes for a better life), but of the two of them, only Ruggie has an actual need to do so. Leona could bed-rot for the rest of his life and, so long as he doesn't get disowned or something, he would be fine.
He knows this. Leona is, in his mind, as advanced in life as he ever will be. He's highly skilled at magic, but that doesn't matter in the long run. Even if he was terrible at magic, he would be in the same boat. Leona could absolutely live a fulfilling life and make his kingdom better, but he's too focused on what he has 'lost' and can never have.
Despite this, he didn't take a 'shut myself away and ruin my self-esteem' approach like Idia. Leona knows that he's something; his dorm members practically worship him. During his time in NRC, he can rule the roost, so that's what he does.
This background could be argued to be what fills him with bitterness (because he one bitter, bitter man). He's arrogant enough to believe that he deserves to be king (his point of view seems to be that he's more qualified than Falena, and that he's been messed over by the way succession works... also, he's very annoyed that a literal toddler now outranks him, he could punt that baby into the moon).
So, we have a second son who feels entitled to power, who is bitter that he cannot get it, and who has been struggling with a lack of agency for his whole life. Add on that he may have been ostracised for having a destructive unique magic, and you have a fine blend of a very dysfunctional, flawed man.
With all this in mind, it's easy to see why he acts out in the ways he does.
When you consider what he would be like in a relationship... He would absolutely love having some level of power, and knowing that above all others, he was chosen.
The Sunset Savanna is somewhat matriarchal (they have a king, but it might just be that gender plays no role in succession, so the values seem a little at odds with the system of governance), and highly values women. Men and boys from there would absolutely be taught to respect their partner (I feel like this would come into play regardless of their gender).
Anyways, those are the sort of things that inform the way that I write Leona. In BTBCBT the polyamoury aspect was written to be the sociatal norm (based on actual lions), and Leona is okay with sharing because he's at the head of the internal power structure. He's been trusted with a level of control over his harem partners. Ruggie defers to him, and on some level, so does the reader, though the reader pushes back. The reason why having a bratty reader is fine by Leona, in the context of the fic, is that they treat him as a person rather than a prince (because they could not care less, this is not their world, they haven't been raised to respect these people). If Ruggie seriously pushed back and tried to become the head of the relationship, that would not go down well.
Having such a relationship gives Leona the agency he craves. It's his personal form of rebellion. Whenever it is threatened (even if that threat is a flawed perception) he sort of shuts down. He gets grumpy and pouty about it, maybe even noticeably annoyed, but on a deeper level, he would internalise that as a failing of himself.
If anybody ever cheated on Leona, it would proooobably ruin his last shred of hope. That's why he keeps his inner-circle small - less chances for it to all go haywire, less people to deal with.
I think something that really influences the way I write Leona is the phrase 'Laziness is not the disease, it is a symptom'. He's not lazy just 'cause, it's a symptom of something deeper... Because he is VERY depressed.
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cirilla-fiona-riannon · 7 months ago
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My Yakuza Man (Kenshin)
Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies. Not proofread.
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Prologue
A few days had passed since I got involved in an unexpected dispute with the Yakuza.
(I missed the last train again today. I guess I'll walk home.)
(I don't want to get dragged into any more weird fights, so I'll stick to my usual route.)
Mai: "Please, let me get home safely without any incidents!"
Man's voice: "Hah! He really came here alone!"
Mai: "Huh!?"
Just as I wished for this, a rough voice echoed from a nearby alley.
(W-What was that!?)
I nervously distanced myself from the alley, sneaking a glance as I walked past.
There, about five rough-looking men were surrounding a man.
Thug 1: "You seriously think you can beat us five-to-one!?"
Kenshin: "Noisy little pests."
Kenshin: "If you're so confident in your skills, hurry up and come at me."
(Wait! Isn't that…?)
My eyes were glued to the blond-haired man being confronted by the thugs.
(This is bad. I need to get out of here before I get dragged into this again.)
(Okay. Mai, just blend into the background.)
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Kenshin: "........."
(Huh?! Did he just look at me?!)
(N-No, it must be my imagination! I have to run!)
Thug 2: "I'll wipe that smug look off your face! Take this!"
The thugs finally lunged at the man.
I tried to flee, but...
(At this rate, he's going to be in serious trouble.)
(He might be strong, but five against one? That's just unfair. There's no way he can handle that.)
Mai: "If that's how it's gonna be!"
With trembling hands, I fumbled with my phone, raised it high, and shouted at the top of my lungs.
Mai: "What do you think you're doing over there!?"
Mai: "I've already called the police!"
Kenshin: "Hah!"
Thugs: "Wha—gah!?"
But in the very next moment, the man kicked off the ground and took down four of the thugs in just a few seconds.
Mai: "W-What!?"
I stood there, dumbfounded by his almost godlike strength.
Thug 3: "Damn it!"
Mai: "!!"
One of the thugs, who narrowly avoided his attack, suddenly turned his eyes to me.
Thug 3: "Hey, woman! Get over here!"
His bloodshot eyes locked onto me as he charged forward.
Before I could even think of escaping, he grabbed me and pinned my arms behind my back.
Mai: "Ugh, ah!?"
Thug 3: "Stop right there! Don't move, or she's done for!"
Frozen in terror, my vision blurred, and my legs felt like they would give out. My shallow breaths echoed in my ears as fear took hold.
The blond-haired man squinted at the thug holding me, his expression filled with disdain.
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Kenshin: "Using a woman as a shield? How utterly pathetic."
Kenshin: "Did you really think such a cheap trick would work on me?"
Without glancing at me, the man delivered a sharp roundhouse kick to the thug's side.
Thug 3: "Gah, ugh!?"
The thug, unable to dodge, took the full brunt of the kick.
Mai: "Kyaah!?"
As he lost his balance, I was almost dragged down with him when—
Kenshin: "Hey."
Mai: "Ah!"
The blond-haired man grabbed my arm firmly and pulled me into his embrace.
Kenshin: "Are you hurt?"
Mai: "Uh, um…"
(Did he just save me?)
Kenshin: "Answer me quickly."
Mai: "N-No! I'm fine. Thank you very—kyaah!?"
Before I could finish my sentence, he suddenly let go of me and placed his hand against the concrete wall behind me.
Trapped between him and the wall, my mind spun in confusion.
Kenshin: "Your name is Mai, right?"
Mai: "Huh!? Y-Yes, that's right. And you?"
Kenshin: "Kenshin Uesugi."
Kenshin: "You've interfered in fights twice now. Are you truly reckless, or are you hiding some skill?"
Mai: "S-Skill?"
He asked calmly, but I was too flustered to give a proper response.
Then he leaned in so close that I could almost feel his breath, his sharp eyes glinting with a feral light.
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Kenshin: "If you're skilled, then you can be my opponent."
Mai: "O-Opponent!?"
(Is he seriously asking me to fight him!?)
Mai: "No, no, no! That's impossible!"
Mai: "I can't fight! I don't have an ounce of skill for that!"
Kenshin: "I see. So you're just a thoughtless woman."
His piercing gaze shifted, clearly losing interest in me.
(This guy is unbelievably rude!)
Anger bubbled up inside me, but I bit my tongue, afraid of provoking him any further.
Mai: "Thank you for saving me."
Mai: "Well then, I'll be on my way—"
Kenshin: "Who said you could leave?"
Mai: "Kyaah!?"
Desperate to escape as quickly as possible, I tried to pull away from him, but he yanked my arm sharply, causing me to lose my balance.
As I nearly fell backward, my back collided with his chest.
(----!)
A shadow fell over me.
I quickly looked up, and he was gazing down at me with an unreadable expression.
In that proximity, our eyes locked.
Kenshin: "You're coming with me."
Mai: "Why?"
Kenshin: "The Azuchi group showed interest in you recently."
Kenshin: "If I use you, I might get a chance to fight them."
(Wait, does that mean I'm just bait to lure them in?)
As I stood there in shock, he let out a soft laugh.
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Kenshin: "Mai. You're already mine."
Kenshin: "Don't even think about trying to escape."
The proximity and his whisper, which almost felt like that of a lover's, felt unsettling.
Mai: "..........."
(This guy's a tyrant.)
The dangerous aura around him, along with his perfectly composed appearance, sent warning bells ringing in my head.
Just then, a rustling sound came from the ground.
Thug 3: "Damn it! There's no way I'm letting you leave unscathed!!"
Mai: "!?"
The thug, who had been knocked down earlier, desperately lunged for my legs.
But just before he could reach me, my body was lifted effortlessly.
Kenshin: "Don't touch what’s mine without permission."
Thug 3: "Gah!"
As he hoisted me onto his shoulder, he kicked the thug away, knocking him unconscious.
Kenshin: "Mai."
Mai: "Yes?"
Kenshin: "If you choose to stay with me, I'll ensure your safety. Just like now."
His words were spoken with absolute confidence in his power.
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(I just want to live peacefully, though.)
Despite the overwhelming power he exuded, I couldn’t turn away from him.
And so I found myself captivated by this man, who was like a god of war.
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pricechecktranslations · 3 months ago
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食材の多い料理店 -Album Booklet-
The Restaurant of Many Ingredients album booklet content
background text
For now at least, we can glean that the god in this alternate world is neither Sickle nor Hazuki. I can imagine that it’s the same with all of the worlds we’ve traveled to up to this point. For example, the god that resided in the “Angels and Demons World”, that is to say the person that commanded the angels that destroyed the world, was in truth likely none other than Deus, or else Makina having inherited his dying wish. In brief, the biggest difference between these alternate worlds and the ones that we were originally from is a difference of who won the struggle of survival on the Climb One. Theoretically, if there are 72 alternate worlds, then there must also be 72 main gods as well. If that’s the case, then I can hazard a guess as to why Seth joined in on this journey. He is trying to use Lady Banica to arrive at a world where he became a god. Why? How should I know? But at the same time, I’m confident that I’m not mistaken in my theory. As much as it repulses me, I know him better than anyone. And even more miserably, I’m going to have to keep a close eye out for whatever it is he’s planning. At least, for now. Lady Banica has obtained a new body, albeit incompletely. Borrowing Seth’s power (or should I call it the power of the mask?), she has succeeded in unifying with Baum, her alter-ego. However, it bears repeating that this is incomplete. Lady Banica is only able to use Baum’s body for a span of 24 hours at most. Still, Lady Banica has gained a bit more freedom to act, and she has become able to take meals again, which is what she desired most of all. If we were to get rid of Seth, Lady Banica would lose that freedom too. So I'll have to think of some other countermeasures. It's possible that workshop might be the key to this. It's obvious there's some connection between Seth and Atelier Horloge (or more specifically, its owner). There's the fact that the workshop makes use of the same multi-dimensional travel ability as this theater. And that Seth seemed a touch perturbed the moment we learned of its existence. Could it have something to do with this being the "Curses and Blessings World" we're in now? Yes, the events happening in this world are extremely, deeply interesting to me (it probably would be to Arte too, if she hadn't forgotten). That witch may very well be the alter-ego of XXXXX, but she's very different from the person we're all familiar with. I suppose this must also be influenced by the change in gods. Or else...Has she been blended with XXXXX? I need some coffee. Wonder if I have to brew it myself.
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differentpostrebel · 8 days ago
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Lost and Found: A Pirates Promise
Chapter 64: Reunion
A/N: And we are back at it again with another new chapter! We have officially arrived in Wano, and Secrets are revealed! Along with a familiar Swordsman missing his partner... when I tell you I have plans for Zoro heheheh. Thank you for liking and following along the series, I promise I will update the masterlist soon! But without further ado let the adveture begin! also side note the edits with Zoro in Wano, with Freak by Doja. OHHH MY GODDDD!!!
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Zoro POV… 
As I walked the busy streets of Udon, my mind was anything but present in the moment. The sounds of the city—the chatter, the clinking of carts, the distant laughter—felt distant, like I was hearing them through a fog. My mission was clear, thanks to Kinemon, but that didn’t stop the thoughts from swirling in my head. I’d been in Wano for a while now, blending in, keeping our heads down to avoid blowing our cover, but it had been hard. Every day, the nagging thoughts of what was happening outside of Wano, with Luffy and the others, kept me on edge.
Y/N, I wish you were here... I thought as I took another step, my shoes echoing softly against the cobblestones. Have you finally escaped that damn marriage of yours?
The thought of her trapped, possibly still bound to that engagement, gnawed at me. It was the same thought that had plagued my mind since we first arrived in Wano. I wasn’t sure why I cared so much, but I did. It ate at me. I had to know she was safe. For curly brow’s sake, he better not have done anything... or there’s going to be hell to pay.
I couldn’t stop my mind from racing. I miss my partner...
I took a sip of the sake in my hand, the bitter warmth flowing down my throat, and let out a low sigh. What the hell am I thinking?
Night had fallen by now, the streets beginning to quiet as the lanterns flickered and the stars appeared overhead. My footsteps led me to a small, quiet restaurant, where I indulged in the drink for a few moments. “That’s some good sake,” I muttered to myself, savoring the flavor.
"Should I go back?" I thought, though the answer was obvious. I’ll come back soon.
Walking out into the cool night air, I tipped the jug up and took a deep swig before setting it back down. I looked up at the sky, the half-crescent moon hanging brightly above. It was beautiful. I should buy another round. Find a spot to moon gaze, I thought. The night was calm, but my mind... not so much.
Then, a flashback hit me like a punch to the gut, and I paused on the street.
It was a quiet night on the ship. We’d just finished a long day of training, battling, and planning. As the crew settled into their rooms, I found myself on the crow's nest with Y/N. It had been our little tradition—one I hadn’t realized I was getting so attached to. Watching the stars, the moon reflecting in the dark ocean, the ship rocking gently in the sea. Just the two of us.
I could remember the way her eyes would light up whenever she pointed out a constellation. She was always full of stories and laughter, pulling me into her world. I’d just sit there, leaning against the mast, pretending to be as indifferent as always, but my gaze was always on her, never leaving. She had this way about her that made everything else fade into the background.
Then, every five minutes or so, curly brows would bust in with some ridiculous comment, trying to join in or make us laugh. But it was clear to both Y/N and me—this was our time. That’s when it clicked for me. I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
Damn it. My fist tightened around the jug, the memories coming in a rush. Since Luffy brought her to join the crew, I didn’t really think much of her at first, but... My stomach tightened. I always noticed her. She was always there, always part of the crew. But somewhere along the way, I started thinking about her more. About the way she’d smile when she was focused on something, the way she fought, the way she laughed. We would always protect one another, stand side by side, covering one another in battles, protecting Luffy and the crew. And when we were in Dressrosa... and then Zou...
I took another drink, but it did nothing to ease the thoughts swirling in my head.
I wanted to believe it was nothing. She was part of the crew, my partner in battles, in those rare quiet moments we shared. I had no place for distractions—especially with everything going on in Wano, with the mission, and with everything the crew had to do. But...
Damn it, Zoro, you can’t lie to yourself anymore.
I looked up at the moon again. The half crescent moon hung in the sky like a silent observer of the chaos in my mind. I need to find her. I need to make sure she’s okay.
I kept walking, my thoughts still consumed by Y/N and the uncertainty of what was happening to her. The streets of Udon were quieter now, the night growing still as I passed the old bridge that stretched over the quiet river. But then, a sharp sound broke the silence—the unmistakable shing of a sword being unsheathed.
The smell of blood, I thought, the metallic scent suddenly heavy in the air. Something was wrong.
"What's the rush?" I called out, my voice cutting through the quiet, playful even, despite the tension rising in my gut. "Is that blood-scent perfume you're wearing? Where’d you pick that up?" I couldn’t help the teasing tone, but it was laced with the sharpened edge of caution. "Whatever scent you've got on there, it’s quite poignant," I added, knowing something was off.
A whistle pierced the air, and the figure ahead of me disappeared into the shadows, the killer slipping away unnoticed. My instincts kicked in. I pointed in the direction the figure had gone. "Hey, the killer just went that way!" I called to the officers who had rushed onto the scene. They turned and immediately closed in on me.
"You’re under arrest!" one of them barked, his eyes hard. "We’ll be taking you in, slasher! So don’t move!"
I dropped the sake jug in my hand, the liquid spilling across the ground as I unsheathed my swords. The steel gleamed in the moonlight, the weight of the situation sinking in.
“Looks like I’m in some kind of trouble,” I muttered to myself, my voice low and steady. “Well, I gotta defend myself.”
But then, like a ghost, a flashback of Kinemon’s words echoed through my mind, loud and clear.
“You must maintain your role!” Kinemon had said, his voice firm as he looked me dead in the eye. “Listen closely, we are in the Land of Wano. We have a Shogun—remember his name! Kurozumi Orochi. Any official who does his bidding, anyone with ties to Kaido… That’s why, if you arm them, they will directly report to Kaido. We must not allow our existence to be known until our allies have returned. Only then can we begin our actions. It is essential that you blend in with the locals.”
The memory hit me hard, and my grip on my swords loosened for a moment. Kinemon’s right. I could feel my pulse racing. I can’t blow my cover now.
I had to stay focused. I had to act like the ronin I was supposed to be, not the warrior I felt like. But damn it, I thought, I can’t let these bastards take me without a fight. Soon another flashback hit me, it was the conversation after Kinemon warned us to maintain our role.
“What’s taking them so long?” I had muttered aloud, not realizing it. I’d been pacing in the small camp where we’d set up, far from the chaos. Kinemon had been sharp with me that day, his voice steady as he caught my distracted mutterings.
“Is something the matter, Sir Zoro?” Kinemon had asked, his face drawn in concern.
“Nah, he’s just missing his partner, is all.” Franky had laughed from the corner, his grin wide and unbothered.
“I still can’t believe you’ve gone soft!” Usopp had teased, causing Robin to chuckle from the other side of the camp.
“This princess, she must be of great importance…” Kanjuro had added thoughtfully, watching me carefully.
“You could say that,” I’d muttered, my thoughts still far away.
“Well, in that case, when Lady Y/N arrives, you two will act as a married couple.” Kanjuro had said, almost casually.
“What?!” I had exclaimed, my eyes going wide in disbelief. 
I shook my head, snapping myself back to the present as I stood before the officers, the memory fading from my mind like smoke. My swords were still drawn, but I knew now that I had to be careful. The last thing I wanted was to be dragged into some trouble that would expose our mission. Guess I got no choice.
"On my honor... I surrender," I said, my voice unwavering. I wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of seeing me anxious. My eyes locked onto the officers as they moved toward me, their hands reaching for the ropes.
The binds bit into my skin, tightening around my chest and arms as they restrained me. I didn’t flinch, didn’t show them any weakness. My mind was elsewhere, still focused on Y/N. I just need to get out of here and find her. It’s only a matter of time before I do.
The officers didn’t speak much as they escorted me, their footsteps echoing through the silent street as we moved toward the holding area. It felt like an eternity, each step dragging me further from the freedom I needed. They were all too eager to get me into a cell.
"I am happy to report, sir, that we have detained the slasher!" one of the officers said with a smug grin, as if they had actually done something impressive. I barely registered the words as I was shoved forward.
I could feel the tension rising in my chest, but I didn’t let it show. This is nothing. Just a small delay. I had been through worse. I would get out of this—I’ll find her. I have to.
As I was led into the small cell, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. The way the officer had spoken, the way they looked at me—it was all too suspicious. Who’s behind this? I wondered.
Y/N POV.. 
"Wake up!" I heard a familiar voice, pulling me from the hazy depths of unconsciousness. "Wake up, Y/N!" the voice yelled again, insistent, as I felt someone pumping air into my lungs. I choked, coughing violently, spitting out water still lingering in my mouth as my breathing returned in ragged gasps.
"Y/N! You're awake!" Luffy shouted, relief written all over his face as he wrapped me in a bear hug. His warmth and energy were comforting, even if I still felt half-drowned.
"Well, someone's supposed to keep a watchful eye on you, so it might as well have been me," I teased lightly, my voice raspy from the ordeal. I glanced around, taking in the surroundings—a soft, sandy beach with the sound of gentle waves rolling behind us. "Where are we?" I asked, sitting up and brushing sand off my clothes.
"We made it... Wano!" Luffy exclaimed, grinning as he gestured toward the distant horizon. I followed his gaze to the unfamiliar yet beautiful landscape before us—rolling green hills, dense forests, and misty mountains in the distance.
Turning back, I saw the Thousand Sunny lying on its side, half-buried in the sand. "Where is everybody?" I muttered, frowning as I racked my brain, trying to piece together what had happened before we ended up here.
Luffy scratched his head. "Let me think..." His voice trailed off as his brows furrowed, clearly struggling to recall the series of events.
Before he could continue, we both froze as the sound of rustling came from the forest nearby. "What the..." I said, narrowing my eyes as I got to my feet. Emerging from the dense foliage were two enormous creatures—a giant animal and an equally massive baboon, locked in a fierce battle.
"Man, I've seen it all today, huh?" I muttered, unable to tear my eyes away from the spectacle.
The giant animal suddenly bounded toward us, landing with a heavy thud right on the Sunny.
"Hey! You better not have broken our ship!" Luffy yelled, his frustration cutting through the chaos.
"It's a giant dog," he added, tilting his head in confusion.
"I thought it was a boar?" I said, equally perplexed. We both stared at the massive creature, neither of us entirely sure what to make of it.
"I guess this really is the Land of Wano," Luffy said, laughing as if the sight was the most natural thing in the world.
"Well, I better get myself ready, then," I said, shaking off the water still clinging to me. Reaching behind me, I drew my sword, the familiar weight in my hand bringing a reassuring sense of readiness.
Luffy grinned, his excitement contagious. "Wild sword monkey versus wild dog thing—Wano's already looking pretty crazy, huh, Y/N?"
I couldn't help but chuckle, shaking my head at the sheer absurdity of the moment. "Oh, you could say that again."
We stood side by side, watching the bizarre battle unfold before us, the promise of more Wano chaos just beginning to take shape.
"Hey, you two, fight all you want, just don’t do it near my ship!" Luffy yelled at the massive creatures, his voice carrying over the chaos.
"Well, this is a mess," I muttered, shaking my head at the absurdity of the scene. "I still can’t tell if this is Wano or not."
Luffy scratched his head in thought. "Crap, the Vivre Card!" he suddenly exclaimed.
I frowned, realizing the issue. "Damn it, it must’ve fallen into the sea," I said, groaning.
Luffy let out a carefree laugh. "Welp, looks like we’re going on an adventure then, huh?" His laughter was infectious, and I couldn’t help but chuckle along with him.
"Alright, you two, break it up!" I said firmly, stepping closer to the battling baboon and giant animal.
Just as I took a step forward, I heard the distinct click of a gun cocking. Instinctively, both Luffy and I dodged as a bullet whizzed past us, embedding itself in the sand.
"Now, was that really necessary?" I said, turning to face the source of the shot.
Luffy and I exchanged a knowing grin, ready to take on whoever was foolish enough to attack us. Luffy dashed forward, knocking out one of the enemies with a single punch, while I drew my sword and unleashed a sweeping arc of light and energy, sending another attacker flying off his mount.
"Next time, don’t point guns at us," I said coldly, watching as the defeated enemies groaned on the ground.
"Hey, what’s going on?" crackled a voice from a nearby transponder snail. Without hesitation, I picked it up and crushed it in my hand, cutting off their communication.
One of the enemies staggered to his feet, barking orders at the baboon. "You stupid baboon! Forget the mutt and capture that guy and girl! Actually, you know what? Kill them!"
The massive baboon grabbed its sword, but as Luffy turned to face it, the creature hesitated, its eyes widening. To my surprise, the baboon bowed deeply, its earlier aggression melting away.
"Now see, you seem so calm now," I teased, watching as the baboon gave us a sheepish smile. The giant dog, seemingly following the baboon’s lead, padded over to us as well.
"Good. Now you two play nice and get along," Luffy said, grinning.
The enemy, now frantic, yelled, "Why are you not doing as told? They’re just two measly pirates!" He cocked his gun again, clearly unwilling to give up.
"Looks like this one’s a glutton for punishment," I said, pressing the yellow gemstone on my sword. Electricity and light surged through my hand, crackling with energy as I prepared to strike.
Before I could attack, a young girl appeared out of nowhere, rushing forward with a stick. She smacked the enemy on the head, sending him sprawling.
"Well, that’s... interesting," I said, clicking the gemstone again to deactivate my sword.
"I surrender! I surrender!" the girl yelled, striking a dramatic pose with her hands in the air.
"What is she doing?" I muttered, raising an eyebrow.
"I surrender! This is my surrender pose!" she repeated.
Luffy tilted his head. "We weren’t going to do anything to you!"
"Really? Do you mean it?" she exclaimed, her voice high-pitched with excitement.
"Yeah, of course," I reassured her.
"Okay! Then maybe, if you’re not going to kill me, can I ask for a tiny favor?" she asked, running toward us with a wide grin.
As I sheathed my sword, the girl pulled something out of her cheek. "What the—oh my god, she pulled her cheek off!" I yelled, startled.
She ignored my reaction, turning toward the baboon. She handed it the piece she’d pulled off, which the massive creature promptly ate.
"Yeah! I finally did it!" she cheered, jumping up and down. "I tamed the mountain baboon!"
"Looks like you’re some kind of power user, huh? A handy one, too," Luffy said, hopping onto the baboon’s back.
"Atta boy," he added, patting the creature’s head.
"Is that your dog?" Luffy asked, pointing at the giant animal.
"Yup! His name is Komachiyo," she said proudly.
I approached the dog, scratching behind its ear. "Well, aren’t you a good boy," I said as it licked my face enthusiastically.
"Oh, by the way, my name’s Otama," the girl introduced herself.
"Nice to meet you, Otama. I’m Y/N, and that’s Luffy," I said, gesturing to my companion.
"Nice to meet you too!" she beamed.
"Quick question—have we made it to Wano?" Luffy asked.
"Sure have! This is the Land of Wano, and this beach is called Kuri," Otama explained.
"Got it, big bro!" she added with a smile.
"Big bro?" Luffy blinked in confusion. "The heck? When did I become your big brother?"
Otama laughed. "A big brother is a big brother!" She then turned to me. "Isn’t that right, big sis?"
I blinked, stunned by the title, but Otama hugged us both tightly, her energy contagious.
"It just makes sense!" she declared.
I smiled, hugging her back. "Of course it does."
Soon after, we were seated on the beach, listening as Otama recounted how she ended up in trouble. Her small hands gestured animatedly as she explained how she had been captured by those jerks who stuffed her in a bag, stole everything she had, and lashed out when she dared to say something that was apparently forbidden.
“The Kozuki Clan is going to come back, and then you’ll pay!” she recounted proudly, a fire in her voice even now.
“If it wasn’t for you two, I’d still be with those awful jerks, and I’d never see my home again. I owe you one for helping me, so thanks a lot!” Otama said, her gratitude shining through every word.
“Now, let me do a favor for you too, okay?” she added, her tone almost commanding in its earnestness.
I turned to look at Luffy, who grinned wide. “That would be great! I have a bunch of questions for you to answer.”
Before she could respond, Luffy’s stomach growled loudly, breaking the moment.
Otama beamed. “I get it! Bet you’re hungry, aren’t ya?”
As Luffy helped pull the Sunny to a safer location to dock it, Otama pointed out the perfect hiding spot. “No bad guys should find your ship if it’s in here!” she said confidently.
Luffy nodded in agreement, but I turned to him. “Luffy! I’m going to my room to change real quick. And now that we’re in Wano, I can finally give Zoro his letter and the ring King gave me for him.”
Luffy nodded. “Okay, but hurry!”
I nodded back, watching as Otama happily chatted with Luffy. Then, clenching my left hand, I sped past everything, determined to make it to my room quickly.
“Okay, something quick,” I muttered, rummaging through my closet until I found a dark green dress. It was perfect: ties at the waist to give an hourglass figure, off-the-shoulder sleeves, and a short but flowing skirt that allowed ease of movement.
“Perfect,” I thought, tossing aside my corset top and skirt. Quickly, I changed into the dress, tightening the strings just enough to accentuate my chest and figure without feeling too restrictive. I tied the strings behind me, giving myself one final check.
Turning to my desk, I grabbed Zoro’s letter and made my way to the box King had given me. Inside, my headband was still safely tucked away. I hesitated for a moment before placing it on my head, letting two strands frame my short curly hair.
Next, I grabbed Zoro’s ring and slid it onto my finger, muttering to myself, “Since I control the rings now, it won’t do anything to me.”
I tucked Zoro’s letter into the bodice of my dress, strapped on my double scabbard holding my two swords, and made sure my thigh halter was securely fastened. Swapping out my boots for black heeled ankle boots, I did one final check. On impulse, I grabbed Zoro’s bandana and tied it around my arm.
“Perfect,” I said with a satisfied nod before closing the door and heading back to the dock.
When I arrived, Luffy grinned at me. “Oh, Y/N! Otama is inviting us to her place for dinner since we don’t have any food!”
Otama nodded eagerly. “Of course!”
“Are you sure?” I asked, feeling a little guilty about her generosity.
“Of course!” she repeated, grabbing our hands and leading us to Komachiyo, her loyal companion. We climbed on, with the baboon following close behind, as Komachiyo began to ride toward Otama’s home.
As Komachiyo trotted along, Hihimaru, the baboon, caught up to us, keeping pace close behind. Otama’s cheerful voice broke the rhythm of the ride. “You know! I’ve met a bunch of pirates, but there are bad ones that I don’t like!”
I laughed at her bluntness. “Yeah, some of them do suck.”
Luffy chuckled as well. “Oh, yeah? If you say so!”
Otama giggled at our laughter, her eyes sparkling with delight. “I know I’m going to like you because you guys are strong and nice,” she said earnestly, her words warming my heart and bringing a smile to my face.
Then, with a sudden burst of excitement, Otama added, “When I grow up, I’m going to be so tough—a real bewitching ninja!”
Luffy and I exchanged amused glances before looking back at her.
“Or at least bewitching like you, Big Sis!” she added with a laugh, making my cheeks flush bright red.
Luffy smirked and leaned back slightly. “Oh? Bewitching like Y/N? That’s gonna take some work!”
Otama, now fully invested, leaned forward eagerly. “Oh yeah? Like what?”
I waved my hands in front of me, laughing nervously. “Listen, Tama, some of these techniques are waaay too advanced for you right now.”
“But I want to know how to be a bewitching ninja!” Otama declared, pouting slightly.
Before I could steer the conversation elsewhere, Luffy jumped in with one of his own stories. “One time, Y/N did this weird move on Jaggy’s partner, and the guy came crashing down to the ground! He had his mask on and everything, so you couldn’t even see his face. But his neck was bright red!”
I groaned, covering my face with my hands as Luffy continued, clearly enjoying every moment of the retelling.
“Y/N pinned his hands above his head,” Luffy went on, his voice full of animation, “and then leaned in real close, whispered something, and the next thing you know, the guy was all like, ‘Captain, I can explain! I think I might be in love!’”
Otama gasped in astonishment. “No way! Who was that?”
Luffy grinned. “Jaggy’s partner—Killer! And Jaggy’s Kidd,” he added for clarity. “It was back in Sabaody a long time ago. Funniest thing ever!”
I peeked through my fingers, my cheeks still warm. “Luffy! You really didn’t have to tell that story!”
“But it’s funny!” Luffy grinned, his laughter echoing.
Otama giggled along, looking up at me with wide eyes. “Big Sis, you’re so cool! Teach me those moves!”
I sighed, trying to keep my patience. “Tama, those aren’t really the kinds of moves you need to know right now. Besides, what Luffy’s not telling you is—”
“Or that time when we were looking for a shipwright, and that pigeon guy just kept staring at you!” Luffy interrupted, grinning ear to ear.
I slapped my forehead with a groan. “Luffy, stop!”
He ignored me, leaning toward Otama like he was sharing the juiciest gossip. “You should’ve seen it, Tama! That Lucci guy barely looked at anyone else, but when Y/N showed up, he couldn’t stop staring! Even when he was fighting!”
“Luffy! He wasn’t—” I tried to argue, my voice faltering.
Otama gasped dramatically, her eyes sparkling. “Big Sis, you had him staring at you? That’s amazing!”
“It’s not amazing!” I protested, throwing my hands up. “He’s just—ugh, he’s a sadist! He doesn’t stare at people because he likes them; he’s just analyzing their weaknesses!”
“Maybe he liked your weakness,” Luffy teased, waggling his eyebrows.
““Oh, for the love of—Luffy!” I groaned, my face flushed with embarrassment.
Otama’s eyes widened in awe. “Woah! Big Sis, you really are a bewitching Ninja!” she exclaimed, her face lighting up. “You gotta teach me those moves!”
I let out a small laugh, trying to steer the conversation in a better direction. “How about we focus on building our strength first?” I suggested. “We can’t skip steps and jump to the top right away. We need a solid foundation before we can do the more advanced stuff.”
Otama nodded eagerly, determined. “Okay! First, we get strong, then we do the cool moves!”
“Exactly,” I said, grinning at her enthusiasm.
After a few minutes, we arrived at Tama's small, run-down home deep in the forest. She quickly began to prepare some rice, using the few ingredients she had. Luffy and I exchanged glances as we took in the condition of her home—it looked as though it had been nearly destroyed.
“Hang tight; it’s almost ready!” Tama said cheerfully, stirring the pot.
“How much longer, Tama?” Luffy whined, causing me to nudge him lightly.
“Just a little bit more!” she chirped, finally serving two bowls of freshly cooked rice. “Here you go, Big Bro and Big Sis! Fresh out of the pot!”
“Whoa! This rice is all for me? Down the hatch!” Luffy grinned, grabbing his bowl and chopsticks, diving into the food with enthusiasm.
I began eating as well but soon noticed that Tama hadn’t served herself any. “Tama, why aren’t you eating?” I asked, lowering my bowl.
She waved off my concern with a smile. “Oh, it’s nothing! Kunoichi can’t be fast if they have a full belly!” she replied.
I frowned but decided to leave a portion of my rice untouched, just in case she needed it. “Can I have another?” Luffy asked, grinning.
“That was all I had, and I’m out of pickles too,” Tama admitted in a small, sad voice.
Luffy leaned back sheepishly. “Oh, uh, that’s okay! I was just joking!”
“You’re a bad liar!” Tama said, her stomach growling loudly, making her blush.
“Tama… are you—” I began, but before I could finish, she rushed out of the room. “I gotta run to the potty!” she called over her shoulder.
“Strange,” I muttered.
Luffy stretched out on the ground. “I didn’t eat much, but that Tama girl sure was nice to give us food,” he said, grateful.
Just then, the door slammed open. “Who the hell are you, and why are you in my house?!” a rough voice demanded.
We turned to see a figure stepping into the room, a sword already unsheathed.
“Wait, Usopp?” Luffy asked, confused.
“Don’t you dare compare me to him!” the figure snapped. His grip tightened on the hilt as his eyes landed on the empty bowls in front of us. “You… you ate the rice, didn’t you?”
“We did. So what?” Luffy said nonchalantly, oblivious to the growing anger in the man’s expression.
“You imbeciles!” he roared, lunging forward with his blade. I quickly unsheathed my sword from its double scabbard, blocking his attack.
“Hold on! Just listen to us!” I tried to reason, but he wouldn’t stop.
“Why should I? You ate her rice! Do you know how rare it is for her to have a proper meal?!” he shouted, managing to land a small hit on both Luffy and me, knocking us out of the house and onto the ground.
“Y/N, you okay?” Luffy asked, concerned.
“Yeah, Captain,” I replied, standing up with my sword still drawn.
The man’s voice was filled with fury as he continued. “Do you know how hard that poor girl works day and night, barely scraping by? That rice was probably all she had for months!”
We exchanged guilty looks, the weight of his words settling in.
“She makes hats to sell, barely surviving, and most of the time, she’s forced to eat millet or drink river water to stave off hunger! That rice was probably the only decent meal she’s had in ages!”
Hearing this, my grip on my sword faltered.
“Master, please don’t be mad!” Tama’s voice called out, her small figure rushing toward us. “I know I cooked the rice without asking, but I wanted to repay Big Bro Luffy and Big Sis Y/N for saving me! Please don’t yell at them—it was my choice!”
Tears streamed down her face as she began coughing violently.
“Tama!” Luffy and I shouted, running to her side.
The man scooped her up, his anger replaced by concern. “You foolish girl! You’ve been drinking river water again, haven’t you? To stop the hunger pangs…”
“She what?” Luffy asked, horrified.
The man explained how the river had been polluted by Kaido’s factories, poisoning everything it touched. Luffy clenched his fists, anger brewing.
“Why do you live here in such terrible conditions?” he asked.
“She’s waiting for a man who promised to return,” the man said solemnly. “A pirate… Portgas D. Ace.”
Luffy and I froze at the mention of the name.
“Ace…” Luffy muttered.
Tama’s eyes widened. “You know him too, Big Bro?” she asked weakly.
“Yeah, I do,” Luffy said quietly. “But he’s dead now.”
The room fell silent.
“That’s a lie, Big Bro! You’re a liar!” Tama shouted, tears streaming down her face. “Big Bro, you’re lying!”
“Luffy, maybe you could’ve phrased that better…” I muttered as Tama’s cries echoed through the room.
The man glared at Luffy. “What kind of monster are you, telling a little girl her hero is gone so casually?!”
“But it’s the truth,” Luffy said, his expression somber.
“Listen,” I interjected, trying to calm the situation. “My captain told the truth because she deserved to know, as hard as it was to hear.”
The man shook his head in disbelief, clutching the fainted Tama close as he muttered, “Ace, huh? What a cruel twist of fate…”
"Just who in the hell are you anyway?" the man demanded, crossing his arms and laying Tama down carefully.
“My name is Luffy, and I’ll be King of the Pirates!” Luffy declared with defiance.
“And her name is Y/N, also a pirate!” Luffy added, grinning at me. “Also a princess,” he teased, causing me to slump my shoulders in exasperation.
“Pirates, huh? I only like a few pirates! State your business!” the man said, pointing at us with his unusually long nose.
“Why not say who you are first?” Luffy retorted, pushing the man’s nose, earning an annoyed glare.
“Very well then. My name is Hitetsu, a swordsmith,” the man said, his tone softening slightly. “Since you know Ace is gone now, why don’t you leave here, take Tama, and find a safer place to live?” said Luffy 
Hitetsu sighed, his expression heavy. “I, too, have been waiting for someone for a long time. There are only two of us left now, but this was once a thriving village called Amigasa.” His voice grew more somber as he recounted the destruction caused by Kaido’s forces, particularly one of his headliners, a pirate named X Drake.
“What an asshole,” I muttered under my breath, unable to contain my frustration.
Immediately realizing my slip, I covered my mouth, my eyes darting to Hitetsu, whose own widened in surprise.
“For a princess, you sure do have a foul mouth,” he said, crossing his arms and giving me a pointed look.
I just shrugged nonchalantly. “Well, being a pirate tends to rub off on you.”
Hitetsu sighed but continued his story, recounting the fall of the five samurai who once protected the territory. “They were defeated and destroyed,” he said solemnly. “Now, the only place in Wano that flourishes is the Flower Capital, where Orochi resides. Everywhere else… it’s been utter chaos and destruction, thanks to Kaido and his followers.”
“That bastard…” I muttered again, before realizing what I said and widening my eyes in embarrassment.
Hitetsu gave me another exasperated look. “You really don’t act like a princess at all, do you?”
“I never claimed to be a traditional one,” I retorted, crossing my arms. “Besides, your story just makes me angrier. No one deserves to live like this.”
Luffy nodded, his expression unusually serious. “Kaido, huh? That guy’s gotta pay for all of this.”
Hitetsu let out a heavy sigh, his gaze softening as he recounted a different memory. “I remember when Ace came here. He washed up on the shore with his crew, shipwrecked from a storm. We tied them all up and ate their food,” he said with a faint chuckle. “But Ace didn’t mind it. He was… kind, understanding, even when we treated him like enemies.”
“He even shared more food with us once we let them go. It was the first time in a long while that Tama had smiled so much. She grew so fond of him.”
I glanced over at Luffy, noticing a small smile etched on his face as Hitetsu continued.
“Our lives were saved by shipwrecked pirates,” Hitetsu said, his voice tinged with both nostalgia and gratitude.
“Ace really was one of a kind,” I said softly, a fond smile crossing my lips as I remembered the countless stories Luffy would tell us, along with me meeting him in Alabasta, how he also saved me when I was saving luffy from those marines, to even hearing stories as a second division commander on whitebeard's crew.
Luffy nodded, the smile on his face growing slightly as he stared at the ground. “Yeah… he really was.”
Soon after, Hitetsu went inside to check on Tama, leaving Luffy and me standing in the midst of the destruction in Amigasa Village. The wind blew softly, carrying with it a sense of desolation. I turned to Luffy, who was staring at the ruins, clearly processing everything Hitetsu had shared with us.
“Hey! Where can I get some food and water?” Luffy suddenly called out to Hitetsu, breaking the silence.
“And do you guys have a doctor around here?” I added.
“A doctor?” Hitetsu repeated, stepping back out.
“We owe Tama one since she fed us,” Luffy said, flashing his trademark grin.
“If you cross the wasteland to the north, you’ll find a village. They have a physician,” Hitetsu replied.
Luffy and I nodded. “Thanks a bunch!” Luffy said enthusiastically as we turned to leave.
But Hitetsu halted us. “Getting there won’t be an easy feat. Kaido and his men are stationed along the way, and Tama would have to be carried,” he warned.
I turned back toward him, determination evident in my stance. “Well, it’s a good thing we’re prepared then,” I said, smirking as I reached behind me and unsheathed King’s sword from my double scabbard. The blade glinted in the light, its unique craftsmanship and the three gemstones catching Hitetsu’s eye.
“We’re ready, right, Captain?” I said confidently, glancing at Luffy.
“Yeah! Besides, Kaido’s still gonna get his ass beat,” Luffy added with a grin.
Hitetsu’s gaze locked onto my sword, his eyes widening in disbelief. “Impossible…” he muttered, stepping closer.
“What?” I asked, tilting my head at his reaction.
“So… it is true…” he murmured, his eyes tracing every detail of the blade, from its intricate design to the three gemstones embedded near the hilt.
“Is there something you know about my sword?” I asked, my tone firm as I held it steady.
Hitetsu’s expression remained serious as he studied the blade further, its unique design captivating his gaze. “This sword… it was forged in Wano long ago, its craftsmanship unrivaled. The gemstones are more than ornamental—they’re a testament to the warrior it belonged to. There’s no mistaking it. That sword was wielded by a legendary warrior.”
“How did it come into your possession?” he asked, his voice filled with a mix of wonder and caution.
I hesitated, gripping the hilt a little tighter before answering, “It was given to me by someone I trust. But… what’s the story behind it?”
Hitetsu’s eyes narrowed slightly as he began to recount its history. “The blade was once wielded by a warrior known only as the Red Warrior. She was said to have fought alongside someone truly strong and protected him no matter the cost, they were both symbols of hope, and said that they helped those in need.The Red Warrior was also dubbed the warrior from hell, and legends say they both vanished years ago. The sword itself is just as legendary—only two people were ever able to wield it: the Red Warrior herself and her son.
I stared at him, absorbing the weight of his words as he continued.
“Some believe her spirit remained tethered to the sword, waiting for someone worthy. The Red Warrior’s strength and will were unmatched, and when she passed, the sword disappeared without a trace.”
Hitetsu’s gaze softened as he looked at me. “For that sword to end up in your hands, Princess… it’s as though her legacy has found its way to you. Perhaps her spirit, her will, resides within you now.”
I glanced down at the sword in my hand, feeling its weight anew. The thought sent a shiver through me. “So… the Red Warrior’s spirit could be inside me?”
“Perhaps,” Hitetsu replied gravely. “The fact that you can wield it unharmed means the sword has chosen you. Whether you believe in fate or not, this blade has a purpose, and you might be the one destined to fulfill it.”
Luffy grinned, clearly excited by the idea of me being some legendary figure. "That’s so cool! Y/N, you’re like a hero from a storybook!”
I shook my head, chuckling lightly. "Man, wait 'til I have a long talk with Dominik in two months once he tells me about those reports! I’ve got a billion questions for him." I clenched my right fist and raised it in the air dramatically, shaking it.
We continued to chat about what to do next, and Luffy, ever the optimist, was ready to help Tama. "Don't sweat it... I'm a strong guy," he said with his usual grin and determination.
Hitetsu, though, had a more somber tone. "I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something were to happen to her."
"Don’t worry, we won’t let anything happen to her," I reassured him, my tone steady.
"Alright, Captain, let’s—" I began, but Hitetsu suddenly interrupted.
“Imbiciles! Your outfits are outlandish! Here, put these on!” He tossed us traditional Wano attire.
I groaned as I looked at the clothes. “Got anything more... shorter and form-fitting?” I asked.
Hitetsu raised an eyebrow at me, then looked back at the clothes. "Keep the dress, I'll stick with what I have," I said, handing him the traditional Wano outfit back.
"Fool! You'll stick out more!" Hitetsu snapped, clearly annoyed. He started adjusting Luffy's attire, making sure it fit him better.
I sighed, feeling a little frustrated by the outfit changes. "I can’t change out of my dress. You know how hard it was to tie these strings behind me," I said, motioning to the intricate design.
Hitetsu grumbled as he took in my adjustments, his eyes flicking from the bow I added to my dress to the way the fabric accentuated my figure. He was silent for a moment before he muttered, “If anything, pass me this.”
I took the tie from him and added it to my dress, maintaining its shape but tying it into a small bow, adjusting the fit to my liking. I also took a moment to tweak the headband King had given me, the heavy weight due to its diamonds and rhinestones glistening. “And... there,” I said, finally feeling comfortable.
"THAT STILL DIDN'T DO ANYTHING AT ALL!" Hitetsu yelled, causing Luffy to glance over, his voice rising in a typical mix of confusion and enthusiasm.
"Well, I'll be fine. Still have my weapons with me," I said, smirking at Hitetsu’s frustration.
Hitetsu grumbled as he adjusted Luffy’s attire, tying his hair into a top knot. "Nice! A kimono! Do I get to wear sweet samurai armor too?" Luffy grinned, bouncing on his feet, causing me to laugh.
“You’re trying NOT to grab attention, Luffy. There. That should do it,” Hitetsu said with finality. "I can't join you for reasons unknown, but whatever the cost, I can remember you." He bowed slightly.
"I guess we'll see. If we run into my crew, they'd do it for free, so keep your fingers crossed." Luffy said with a shrug, always optimistic.
But before we could leave, Luffy noticed a sword on the wall and grabbed it, a grin spreading across his face.
“Now, Luffy…” I started, but before I could finish, he already slipped the sword into his kimono.
“It’s cool if I borrow this, right? It really sells the look!” Luffy said, his eyes gleaming. He lifted Tama, ready to go.
“We’re not here for a fashion show,” I said with a laugh, trying to catch my breath.
Luffy grinned as we dashed out of the house. Hitetsu quickly followed behind, grumbling, clearly upset about the stolen sword.
“Come on, Luffy! You don’t even know how to wield a blade!” I laughed between breaths, glancing over at Luffy as he sprinted with Tama in his arms.
“See ya, Grandpa Nose!” Luffy yelled, not looking back as we ran deeper into the forest.
Soon, Komachiyo appeared, running toward us. We quickly hitched a ride, with Luffy grinning from ear to ear.
“Heck yeah! Mind taking us to town, pal?” Luffy said, patting Komachiyo as he climbed onto the large dog’s back, with me following suit.
As we moved deeper into the forest, Tama suddenly stirred in Luffy’s arms. She began to cry, calling out Ace’s name, the loss still fresh and painful for her.
“Tama, you have to understand…” I started, but she didn’t seem to hear me. The memory of Ace was too raw for her. She didn’t understand the weight of Ace’s importance to Luffy, and her anger bubbled over in her cries.
“You shouldn’t say things out of anger or rage, Tama,” I said gently, my hand resting on her head as she came to sit beside me. “I know you’re hurt—we all are. But please, don’t be upset. It’s okay to grieve, but don’t let your pain take over.”
Tama looked up at me, her face stained with tears. Slowly, she moved from Luffy’s back and crawled into my lap, crying softly. I wrapped my arms around her, offering what comfort I could, as Komachiyo ran toward the village. 
As we neared, Komachiyo suddenly halted, and both Luffy and I took a moment to take in the surroundings.
"Woah," Luffy and I exclaimed in unison.
"Grandpa Nose wasn’t wrong," Luffy said with a mix of awe and concern.
"This place looks so bad," I muttered, taking in the empty, desolate surroundings. "Everything looks deserted..."
The village looked abandoned, like time had stopped in its tracks. It was as if the land had been left behind, its life stripped away.
Suddenly, Luffy’s eyes lit up as he spotted some animals in the distance.
“A tiger! And a big boar too!” he exclaimed, pointing.
"And a crocodile?" I said, narrowing my eyes as I noticed a strange shape moving in the distance.
"No, big sis, that's a sharkodile," Tama replied, her voice cracking with emotion as she corrected me, but I was left even more confused by the unusual creature.
"This place is wild!" Luffy said with his usual enthusiasm, his energy bouncing back as he took in the sights.
“Literally and figuratively,” I added with a sigh, still processing the bizarre landscape around us.
Luffy, ever the optimist, pointed at the animals and said, “Just eat those guys, then you won’t be so hungry.”
Tama looked up at him with wide eyes, clearly upset. "Luffy, that's not possible," she said softly.
I nodded in agreement. "It’s not that easy. The samurai who were powerful enough to hunt those creatures were either caught by the police or turned to bandits to survive.” I glanced around at the wreckage of the place, feeling a deep sadness. "Besides, the animals here drink the poisonous river water, and because of that, they turn poisonous themselves. We can’t eat them." continued Tama 
“That’s bastards gonna pay,” I muttered under my breath, clenching my fists in frustration.
Tama looked up at me, her eyes wide with shock at the harsh words. I quickly covered my mouth, realizing my mistake.
“Tama, don’t repeat any word I say, especially strong words like that,” I said firmly but gently.
She nodded, her tears slowly subsiding as she clung to me for comfort. Though her pain hadn’t completely disappeared, the quiet seemed to help calm her down. As we continued to move forward, the forest around us thickened, and Luffy’s voice suddenly broke the silence, screeching in delight.
"Luffy, what is it?" I asked, my curiosity piqued.
"Zoro!" he yelled, his excitement nearly shaking the ground.
"Zoro!" I echoed, feeling a sudden rush of emotions, tears threatening to prick my eyes. Could it really be him?
"Is it really him, Captain?" I asked, my voice trembling with hope.
"Hey! Zoro! It’s me! Over here!" Luffy called out, waving his arms wildly.
I held Tama tightly in my arms, her feverish warmth seeping into me, but my focus was on the figure ahead. Zoro turned and locked eyes with Luffy.
"Luffy! Yeah! You finally made it!" Zoro called out, his voice full of warmth and excitement.
I frowned slightly as I noticed Zoro didn’t recognize me at first.
"He doesn’t recognize me, Captain," I muttered, but Luffy didn’t seem concerned.
"Don’t worry, he will once I get closer!" Luffy replied confidently, his trademark grin lighting up his face.
I held Tama in my arms, her fever still burning slightly, but my thoughts were focused on Zoro’s sudden appearance.
"It’s real good to see you!" Luffy said as he jumped off Komachiyo, landing squarely onto Zoro. "And it’s been a whi..." he paused mid-sentence as he noticed the shift in Zoro’s expression.
Zoro looked at Luffy and then back to me, his eyes narrowing slightly. "It’s been a long time, most honorable Zoro," Luffy teased, his voice filled with affection for his friend.
I couldn’t help but smile at the familiar banter between them as Komachiyo stopped in front of Zoro. Slowly, I placed Tama down and slid off Komachiyo, not yet showing my face.
"Who’s this woman?" Zoro asked, looking at me with confusion.
I smirked, watching him with amusement. "You mean you don’t recognize her… at all?" Luffy grinned, nudging Zoro.
As Zoro took a step forward, I finally revealed my face.
"Roronoa, don’t tell me you’ve forgotten me already..." I teased, my voice light but full of warmth. "I know your sense of direction may not be A1, but for you to forget your nap sidekick and partner—well, I’m in shock."
Zoro froze, his eyes wide as he finally recognized me.
"Y/N!" he gasped, his tone full of disbelief and something deeper.
His gaze flickered to my attire, noticing it wasn’t traditional Wano clothing, but something that had enough of the style to give him a hint of who I was. Then, his eyes softened as they landed on my hair—once long and left behind in Zou, now cut short in soft curls, dyed a dark cherry color, framing my face. A diamond and rhinestone headband added to the transformation.
Zoro’s expression softened, a wave of emotion crossing his face. He stepped toward me, and before I could react, I was in his arms.
"I... I missed you so much!" I cried, clinging to him as my tears fell freely, mingling with the relief of finally being reunited with him.
His arms tightened around me, his voice low and filled with tenderness. "Are you free from that stupid engagement?" he asked, his grip on me tightening in a way that made my heart race.
I nodded against his chest, still unable to fully contain my tears. "The wedding was annulled," I said softly, my voice a little shaky. "But I did keep the ring, since it has some modifications." I wiped my eyes with my hand, trying to regain composure.
Zoro softened, his eyes turning gentle. "I missed you so much," he whispered, pressing a kiss to my head.
"I can’t believe my partner is back..." he muttered, his voice full of disbelief, as if it hadn’t fully sunk in yet.
Luffy, standing off to the side with a wide grin, couldn’t help but laugh. "Zoro, damn, who would’ve thought you’d be going crazy not seeing Y/N! Besides, the rest of the crew’s back too, and we stopped Sanji’s wedding!"
Zoro scoffed and rolled his eyes. "I could give two craps about that lovesick cook," he muttered, still holding me close, his usual gruffness returning.
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kozachenko · 1 year ago
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Yipeeee that Keiki and Mayumi fanart I posted the WIP of is finally done woooo- This piece was a very experimental one that I'm kind of OK on. Maybe because I've just gone insane looking at it for so long and I'm my own worst critic lol.
Artist's Notes;
So I've once again been playing around with my rendering style, mainly because I have been wanting to improve my lighting for a while now and as I was just scrolling through Tumblr, I saw some of the official art for that one webcomic-turned-animated-TV-Show Lackadaisy and was immediately inspired. I also have seen a technique a few times in the past where the lineart and shading are merged together, so I've been meaning to try that for a little while.
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I did some experimentation on this one sketch of Keiki I posted in my sketch dump and I really liked the results of it, so I carried those over to this piece.
I ended up scaling up Keiki and Mayumi from the original WIP because I felt like they were both getting lost in the composition, and I'm glad for that because I think it works a lot better. I'm not a fan of how Mayumi's sword turned out at all, but it's not really meant to be the focus of the piece so eh. Overall, I think I could do better with my colours, probably because with Keiki and Mayumi's colours, I did them flat in greyscale and then used a brush on the overlay blend mode to colour all of them over, after which I changed the base layer for their colours from white to yellow and then lowered the opacity so it all went together better. I also decided to use gradient maps for a lot of the background elements, mainly to experiment with getting in my values first to make them pop out more. I ended up finding a really nice sky gradient on Clip Studio Paint that I really liked, and that kinda helped to establish the colour scheme of the background a lot. I think the whole "start in greyscale then colour" thing really works better with painterly styles rather than more illustrative ones, and while it is good at making sure your values are more readable, I honestly don't think I have the skill level to pull that off yet. Honestly, I think I've been looking at this drawing too long or maybe I added too much to it, but I wish I could've made the colours less monochromatic, but I'll just save that for the next piece I do.
I do love how the flame (...well it's more of a weird space rift than anything in this piece) and the lighting turned out, those were fun to do. I was initially struggling with the flame and how Mayumi is positioned in front of it before realizing "Oh wait! This is a weird abstraction of a weird creature! I don't have to follow the laws of anatomy!" and just dislocated it's flamey bottom jaw from the main body. I also changed the colours of it since I was really not liking how incredibly bright it was when it had lighter colours. Again, the gradient maps served the more painterly style of the flames well.
I also love how Mayumi turned out. I could do her sleeves better but that's more of just me needing to study how those types of sleeves fold in that position more. I'm also very happy with the posing, the technique I used for that was taking photos of myself in the positions I wanted, blocking in the silhouette and then modifying that by adjusting it to my lines of action that I drew on top of the original photos, and then sketching over the silhouettes and drawing in the shapes of the hands overtop of the photo if I needed to get the fine details right. As for what I do to take the pictures myself, I use a tall chair I have, prop up my phone with a phone stand, put on a ten second timer and scramble to get in position. Yes, I did have to use a bunch of thin markers I had to try and get the hand positioning on Keiki's pose right, yes I do have a fake sword that I used to get the positioning of Mayumi's arms and hand right, the sword was for an old Halloween costume from several years ago. I really like how both Keiki and Mayumi turned out in this drawing, I'll have to play around with these designs for them more in future drawings.
Also, if you wanna know why I draw buildings like that, when I watched Fantasia 2000 as a kid (One of the Disney movies where they make really beautiful animations to classical music) the way they drew the buildings in the first few sections Rhapsody in Blue segment (the jazz one with the cities) changed my brain chemistry and now whenever I need to draw buildings really quickly, I refer back to that. Since the buildings aren't really the main subject, I didn't put much thought into them.
As you can tell I am very tired of this piece, mainly because I made things harder for myself by overcomplicating the process compared to what I usually do, mainly with the whole "starting in grayscale then adding colour." I'd honestly just prefer having a black layer set to colour that I can just toggle on and off when I need to see the values, but it was good to experiment. And that was mainly the point of this whole drawing, to experiment. I'm definitely going to have to play around with this new style I'm going for, mainly because I liked how it turned out a lot in the augmented Keiki sketch, and also because I want to find ways of making it suit my style more. I also really want to keep experimenting with my lighting like this, it's very fun. Last but not least I am never starting in greyscale again because dear god I do not like the workflow it forced me into. I don't have a problem with the method itself it's mainly just a skill issue lol.
If you wanna read my headcanons for these two, I put them in my WIP post, so you can read them there if you want to. The more I look at this the more I prefer the simplicity of my WIP. I might go back to this and just take away the fancy colours and effects to see what it looks like without all of that stuff and reblog this post with that drawing, but for now, I don't think I can look at this drawing again for a while.
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hermittea · 5 months ago
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Introducing ZombieCleos's tea! Art by: @gh0st0m! Cleo's tea is a bright yet calming mixture. Camomile with the pop of citrus that comes with every sip. Want something before bed? How about to enjoy on a summer afternoon? Or perhaps when you aren't feeling the best? Cleo's tea is soothing for any occasion! Highly recommend to sweeten with honey (Tho as usual, Sugar works just as well.) I would also personally pair it with a nice lemon cookie or shortbread! Accented with safflower & lemon peels, this is a No Caffeine Tea. If you wish to give Them a try, or read more about the teas included in their blend: https://www.adagio.com/signature_blend/blend.html?blend=230323 The way I came up with their tea to be fully honest was started off by realizing as a tea project, I didn't have chamomile! Honestly, felt like a crime to me so I started thinking about my favorite chamomile blends. Personalty my favorite has been Honey Vanilla Chamomile but I had just had a Citrus Chamomile tea and realized I could most likely do something very similar myself! And after thinking about which hermit that fit, Cleo seemed to be perfect! Their voice is smooth like chamomile and quips come out as sharp as citrus /silly. plus with the flower motif in their skin's hair? It just worked out. ---- UP Next: MumboJumbo ;) GET A FREE TEA: https://www.tumblr.com/hermittea/772135235526803456?source=share Do you want Sneak Peeks? To help make suggestions for teas? To chat with other fans or the artists?Join our discord! https://discord.gg/yAWj39b5Xq And if YOU (or your friends) want to be a volunteer artist- go on and fill out this form! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdFAS-pJHat-GcNfGUuvumLCpPatkj91vT6Kbn8M4g7hDljkw/viewform?usp=sf_link We are doing some places so if you aren't that confidence with Character art, feel free to submit background art! We have Scarland, Decked out, Convex and Joel's S10 base so far, as well as Mycelium war and Demise that could get some delicious tea one day! And as always, make suggestions if you want to see anything else. Thank you all!
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peaterookie · 6 days ago
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How "Go For It, Nakamura!" made me realize I was Transgender
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this is actually the shittest banner i've made in my life. ever.
Hi! Happy Pride Month for the billionth time. I got some pretty good responses from the previous post I made about GNK so, why not make a couple more?
Not a lot of people know this, but I used to be a pretty big Go for it, Nakamura! fan before I got into Lupin III. I got into the manga during 2021, when the cover redraw trend was really popular, and I'd say that obsession was almost on par with the obsession I had with Lupin III.
I used to be really active on the subreddit around the time Motto Ganbare was still in serialization, and I assisted with the typesetting for that manga when it was being fan-translated. I'm also the manager of the wiki (very dead now) and I also have a huge collection of Syundei's GNK art! So yeah I like the manga series a lot.
Now that you know my credentials, how in the hell does being transgender have to do with this series? And what about that silly series about a gay boy failing to befriend his crush resonated with me so much?
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One of the things that made me really enjoy the manga series was the main character, Okuto Nakamura. Concise explanation on who he is? He's a highschooler, he's gay, he has a crush on a boy named Hirose, and he's a huge fucking loser with 0 social skills.
As a loser who was also a fruit during 2021, Nakamura resonated with me greatly. Throughout my life, I've kept to myself and struggled a lot to make friends or even get on the same social wavelength with others in general. But it's not just the social awkwardness that I have in common with him, it's also the fact that deep inside, my voice and personality is LOUD and BIG.
Throughout the book, you can tell that beyond that quiet and plain exterior, Nakamura feels things STRONGLY. He loves Hirose INTENSELY, 50% of the things he does and say in the book is DRAMATIC, um... insert 3rd thing to put emphasis on this sentence. But essentially, he's like a bit crazy on the inside and I'm like that too!!
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In addition, we both look insanely boring and blend in with the background, causing nobody to pay attention to us. We both have a temper (that we're too chicken to express) and... I share the same birthday as him (October 24)- which is simply the cherry on top of this shitty "He's so me fr" cake.
It's kinda crazy how much Nakamura and I have in common, the only thing that's different is that I'm a girl... What a shame.
Was what I thought during the time that I read that book.
The truth was that I never really thought much about my gender back then. It felt like a topic that shouldn't be up to debate or be questioned. I'm a girl. And that is fine.
I may not act that girly, nor want to look like one, but that just means I'm a tomboy, right?
I've always gotten attached to male characters like Nakamura, but girls can do that! You don't have to be male just to like male characters!
I preferred to make my sona male, but that's just how i prefer my characters to look!
I wanted to keep my gender a mystery online, and enjoyed it when people thought I was a boy, but that's normal... right?
Maybe if I don't tell anyone or talk about it, I could silently ignore the fact that I'm a girl, and hope that it won't bother me anymore.
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It was like that for years, until GNK broke me out of that trance. I believe that- due to global events happening during that time that affected my mental well being- that my attachment to Nakamura became very strong, so strong that I wished I lived a life like his.
That for the first time, I considered living life as a boy.
...
...
Which I think is VERY FUNNY considering the fact that it's a manga about sexuality and there's absolutely nothing about being trans in it. Nakamura isn't trans- at least there's nothing that hints to it, but I think it's pretty magical that my trans awakening was caused by something that had very little to do with it.
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Unhealthy character attachment aside, I like the way that a piece of fiction can resonate with someone so much that it can change the way they think about themselves or provide a good life lesson.
I've moved onto other things, but I can definitely look back on this series and be happy with what it gave me. It provided me a shoulder to rest on during pandemic times, a reason to wake up everyday even when things felt hopeless, and something new to learn about my own identity!
Lesson of this article? Uh... yaoi is awesome, read gnk.
Extra:
...I guess I should tell you guys what I did after that revelation huh? Basically while that was happening, my friends were also talking about pronouns, for whatever reasons, and I was like.... hm... maybe I don't like my pronouns.... so then I ate it and got a new one. It was pretty weird and confusing times.
I wasn't sure at first if I wanted to commit to the boy game or not, so for a bit I identified as nonbinary as well. It was mostly due to the fact that while I knew I wasn't cis, I was pretty content with how I looked (my self-esteem in fact got much better post-awakening even though nothing changed physically) and I felt pressure to look more like a boy if I were to be transmasc. But like... I realized that's stupid, you can be a pretty boy too, so yeah.
trains rights
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hellomynameisbisexual · 1 year ago
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Bisexual Basics
— Karin Baker
THE MOST BASIC thing about bisexuality is that it unlinks what most cultures see as a fundamental connection: sex and gender. If you can understand that for some people sexual attraction is not tied to a specific gender, then you understand the most important thing about bisexuality.
At least in the United States, separating sexuality and gender is difficult. While public attention—negative and positive—has recently been focused on homosexuality, the idea that it is not the only alternative to heterosexuality is less often recognized. This is not surprising, given that here as in most western cultures, there is a tendency to organize concepts dualistically, to see only opposites.
Heterosexuality and homosexuality as related ideas are one example. Thus, even while homosexuality is not an acceptable alternative to heterosexuality for many people, it is clearly fixed in their minds as the other option. Few conceive that there could be a third option, or even a continuum of possibilities.
This or That
Bisexuals sometimes refer to society’s tendency to dichotomize as an “either/or” approach. You must be attracted to either women or men, be either heterosexual or homosexual—what bisexuals sometimes lump together and call “monosexual.” Similarly, in our society, no matter what your actual racial background, you are seen as either white, or a person of color.
In contrast, some of us see bisexuals as having an approach to sexuality that could be called “both/and.” We are heterosexual and homosexual, both at the same time—which actually adds up to something completely different.
The woman whose parents are respectively white and African American is not racially or culturally half one and half the other. She is a blending of the two, in which neither aspect can be separated out. Similarly, bisexuals are not “part” queer, or “part” straight—we are what we are.
The Continuum of Sexuality
Maybe the idea that sexual attraction actually falls on a continuum, rather than clumping around homosexuality and heterosexuality, seems obvious. As a bisexual person, it is certainly obvious to me. However, I have come to realize that some are confounded by the idea.
This inability to imagine that someone could truly be attracted to more than one gender is probably the origin of myths such as “bisexuals don’t really exist,” and “bisexuals just haven’t made up their minds yet.” For some, sex means desire for women or men, but never both.
In a recent example, a bisexual friend of mine overheard a conversation between a lesbian and a gay man in which both commented on how confused bisexuals were. One of them said, “sooner or later bisexuals have to make up their minds!”
I wish I’d been there to ask them, why? Can you explain the basis for your reasoning? Why can’t we have already made up our minds—to be bisexual?
It seems to be hard to escape the assumption that there are only two choices, and everyone must ultimately settle for one of them. I have never heard a logical argument, or any biological law that explains why this choice is so unavoidable.
I have an easier time with this when I think about how hard it is for me to grasp attraction to one gender only, whether gay/lesbian or straight attraction. Because sexuality and gender aren’t linked for me, I’m surprised when I hear about people who are only attracted to women, or only attracted to men.
As a feminist I can understand why some women would choose not to be with men. I can also see that a person might want something in a sexual relationship that is more typically found with one gender or the other. But how could one gender always fall outside the boundaries of sexual possibility?
I believe that it happens, because people tell me that it’s true for them. It’s just extremely hard to imagine.
In fact, we bisexuals have a tendency (which I resist in myself) to think that all people are potentially bisexual. If they haven’t acted on it yet, monosexuals must either be repressed, or they just haven’t found the “right man”/“right woman” yet.
I suppose this is the bisexual equivalent of the monosexual perception that bisexuals are just going through a phase and haven’t made up our minds yet.
Gender in Bisexual Attraction
Although gender is not a limiting factor for bisexuals, it does sometimes play a role in bisexual attraction.
Some bisexuals that I know are attracted to women and men for gender-specific reasons. For instance, they like women because they see them as: easy to talk to, or nurturing, or soft and curvy; and they like men because they find them: straightforward, or more assertive, or hard and muscular (or some such gendered reasons).
So in this case, gender is part of the formula, but not a limiting factor.
Other bisexuals I have spoken with are also attracted to women and men differently, but they turn the previous specifications upside down. These bis say they find they like butch women and effeminate men. In a way this comes down to appreciating people to the extent that they escape genderedness.
But there are also many bis, such as myself, for whom gender has no place in the list of things that attract them to a person. For instance, I like people who are good listeners, who understand me and have interests similar to mine, and I am attracted to people with a little padding here and there, who have fair skin and dark hair (although I’m pretty flexible when it comes to looks).
“Male” or “female” are not anywhere to be found in the list of qualities I find attractive.
Monosexual Misconceptions
Bisexuals in the United States often experience hostility from lesbians and gay men, as in the incident described above. Lesbians and gay men, like heterosexuals, are often uncomfortable with breaking out of a dualistic way of looking at things.
Bisexuals blur boundaries thought to be fixed in stone, and this is disturbing.
Actually, bisexuals may appear to pose a more direct threat for lesbians and gay men than this general social disturbance. Lesbians and gay men who a in our society have almost always gone through a long process of leaving their family and heterosexual friends, as they leave the closet.
The community that rejected them is replaced by the one they join when they come out; the lesbian and gay community becomes their new family and friends, the place where they feel security and belonging.
Bisexuals who pop up in their new community blur its boundaries, making it feel less safe, less apart from the rejecting heterosexual community. Especially for those who believe that a bisexual has a fifty-fifty chance of finally choosing heterosexuality, a bisexual may well appear as the enemy within their midst.
Bisexuals often face misconceptions shared by lesbians, gay men, and heterosexual people. One of these is mentioned above: that bisexuals are confused people who havent made up their minds yet.
Undoubtedly some bisexuals are in a transitional phase between heterosexuality and homosexuality, but this is not necessarily so. And even when it is true, why should transition be seen as problematic?
Another common myth is that bisexuals are not committed to the struggle against queer oppression. Like many stereotypes, this may have some basis in reality. There are bisexuals who stay in the closet, who gravitate toward opposite gender relationships, marriage, and whatever else it takes to fit in.
Of course, many gay men and lesbians also never make it out of the closet. In fact, the lesbian and gay movement has always included bisexuals. Some have been openly bi, while others haven’t felt it worth the struggle to be open in the face of disapproval from the community that is so important to them.
Today, some bisexuals, like some gay men and lesbians, are not interested in getting involved in political struggle, but many others are very active within the queer community.
Another misconception is the idea that to be bisexual you must be sleeping with both women and men, and along with this, probably cheating on your partner. This is like saying that you cannot call yourself a lesbian (or gay, or straight) if you are single and celibate.
I believe that you’re bisexual (homosexual, heterosexual) if that’s what you call yourself. Your orientation stays the same, you still feel attraction, whatever your current actions.
Now it’s true, there are bisexuals who feel more fulfilled if they have relationships with a woman and a man. Some of these may have an agreement with their partner(s), and some not, but bisexuals are not the only sexual orientation where unorthodox relationships can be found, or where some cheat on their partners.
Bisexual Oppression?
A lesbian once told me that bisexuals experience oppression only to the extent that we “are homosexual.” She used this as an argument for leaving the name “bisexual” off titles of marches, community centers, newspapers, etc.
Who is included in group names has been a controversy for years (going back at least to the time when including the word “lesbian” was controversial because “gay” could supposedly count for both).
I don’t agree that bisexuals face only homosexual oppression. It’s true that when we are in same-sex relationships, one of the things we experience is heterosexism (and also, in our opposite sex relationships we do not as directly face the oppression gay men and lesbians face, although if we are openly bisexual we never completely escape heterosexism).
However, bisexuals confront forms of oppression that lesbians and gay men do not. Bisexual oppression includes compulsory monosexuality and the invisibility that is a result of monosexism. We are made invisible when people can’t conceive of sexual attraction that isn’t tied to one gender or the other, thereby denying our existence.
Even face to face, there is nothing about us that says we’re bisexual—if we’re with the same gender it’s assumed we’re lesbian/gay, and we must be straight if our partner is of the opposite gender.
Unless we happen to be holding hands and kissing a woman and a man simultaneously, an either/or way of seeing things means most people will automatically categorize us as either homosexual or heterosexual. This is monosexism at work.
In recent years some things have changed for bisexuals in the United States. We have started to find each other and form organizations and small communities. Conferences happen regularly in different parts of the country, and a national network exists.
Books about bisexuals multiply, as we tell our stories and develop theories about how we fit in. Much to the discomfort of some lesbians and gay men, we have been increasing the pressure to have our presence within the queer community acknowledged.
It seems inevitable that we will have an impact on how the people of this country view sexuality. Will this go further and affect the fundamental tendency toward dualistic categorizing, the either/or mindset?
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dreams-of-hole · 29 days ago
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Running tier list of background music I've listened to during a hole fucking session
I will add to this list as I try new things. Not listing it as it's own item but the control group here is silence. Not listening to anything is a solid B. It's perfectly cromulent most of the time.
1. Cynthoni - Draining Love Story (In the eyes of Cynthoni)
Putting this first because I have to shout out the only real music on this list. I literally went to bandcamp, went to the electronic genre page, and scrolled down the releases until I saw this obviously trans-coded album. It's pretty good for what I'm using it for which is pounding my ass rhythmically for fun. The best track is Lexapro Doesn't Work, both because that matches my experience in real life and also because it's the perfect tempo (115bpm) and is so satisfying to gradually work up to bouncing and moaning in time. Seriously I would take a whole playlist of 115 bpm dance songs that I could ride a toy to. FINAL SCORE: A TIER
2. Technology Connections - Dehumidifiers are confusing. Here's why.
This is maybe the first video I actually stopped what I was doing and turned it off. I love this channel but when he gets to the part where he makes like a quippy liberal joke about due process I literally said shut up with a 3 inch diameter toy in my ass, got up, waddled to my phone, and turned the video off. An annoying experience for butt fucking. FINAL SCORE: D TIER
3. Any Northernlion twitch vod (this is what I listened to on Saturday)
I also had to stop this video early and it's because this time I happened to watch a VOD of a stream I actually managed to see live. Most of the time NL is great background music. My GF and I listen while eating lunch together. He's like an old timey radio program. I've never paid enough attention to laugh at these videos while playing with myself, though. FINAL SCORE: C TIER
4. Compilations of horny music for sexy anime babes
Completely unremarkable. They blend into the background like the whirring of central air conditioning. I could not tell you anything about the music I listened to here and I'm pretty sure I found both playlists by searching YouTube for "sex playlist". FINAL SCORE: C TIER
5. Podcasts with an annoying gay man on them (Maintenance Phase and If Books Could Kill)
No links provided bc I don't actually know how to link to a podcast as someone who gets her feed not on like Spotify or Apple. Anyway. I wish I remember which episodes I listened to recently for both these examples but the fact that I can't either says something about how much I listen to these or how little I'm listening when I'm hole punching myself. These playing in the background make me feel like I'm in a salon in prehistoric France, and the last two smart people in the world are talking about "a fool and his money are one big party" or "Michael Hobbes your fired". All while these huge intellects are grappling with the great issues of our time I'm at the next table screaming in ecstasy: I just stuffed a horse cock into my hole and yes Aubrey tell me more about why sugar addiction is fake while I imagine I'm getting pumped full of frosting cum and turned into an oven baked mare. FINAL SCORE: B TIER
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filmofhybe · 2 years ago
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The perfect blend - YJW
part 2 of “IN EVERY MULTIVERSE”
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In which..
can you ever imagine in this multiverse, you having the biggest fattest crush on your best friend - Yang jungwon, however knowing he already has a “girlfriend” hurts more than just a sting from a bee.
💌 PAIRING : yjw x reader
GENRE : friends to lovers , fluff
WARNING : angst , fluff , kissing , CHAPTER 2 NOT PROOF-READ!!
🗯️ FEATURING : huh yunjin - LE SSERAFIM
word count : 2,066
MASTERLIST to “IN EVERY MULTIVERSE”.
; AUTHORS NOTES : not proof read. Next chapter is angst!! A little fluff before we get there😉
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I stood outside my apartment, as cold winter air blew towards my face. Hood up while my hands was in my pockets keeping them warm. Waiting patiently for Jungwon to arrive. Maybe he would come…or not..
My thoughts was interrupted as I heard panting coming from my left. I turned around to see him running towards me. Hands on his knees as he tries to catch his breathe, looking up to me with a smile. “Sorry If I’m late, I just needed to do something.”
“No is okay!” “No is not I made you wait in the cold..I’ll pay for your drink!” Still panting, before leading us off to the café. On the way to the café, we talked about school and life. It was so comforting and it seemed so real.
“I wish I could talk to you more at school…” he sighed making me confused what he meant.
“You do though…?” I told him as I focused back on the road
“Well sometimes I wish I could just talk to you and not anyone else..” He told me before changing the topic. Soon enough we were here.
“Ladies first!” The little bell on the door Jingles as he opens the café door. I was quickly greeted by a soft grey cat, walking in between my legs. I squat down and start petting it. “Jungwon is this a cat café?” I asked him, noticing his nose starts to grow pink.
Jungwon nervously scratched his nose as he looked around the cat café. He had planned the outing, excited to share the experience, who adored feline companionship, however I knew he was allergic to cats. I know everything about him..
Oblivious to Jungwon's discomfort, even if he was delighted by the playful kitties, I reached out to pet a fluffy tabby, urging Jungwon to join in the fun. Suppressing his sneezes, he managed a smile, not wanting to ruin the moment. Feeling the tickle in his nose increasing, "How about we check out my favorite place next?" Jungwon agreed, and we headed to a nearby book café. As we stepped into the serene atmosphere filled with the scent of freshly brewed coffee and the quiet rustling of pages, Jungwon's tense shoulders relaxed.
I noticed the change and asked, "Do you like books?" Jungwon chuckled, "Yeah, I love it." We settled into a cozy corner, surrounded by shelves of novels, as soft melodies played in the background. We shared anecdotes about their favorite books, finding common ground in the world of literature. You’re the same as the person I know in real life..
Ordering their favorite café treats, they savored the warmth of their beverages while engrossed in their chosen novels. I noticed Jungwon's eyes light up as he talked about his favorite characters, and I found myself captivated by his passion for storytelling.
“This is really good! Thank you for taking me here!” He continue to munch on the small slice of cheese cake in front of him. The soft caramel scent filled my nose.
“You’re welcome! I’m glad you enjoyed..” I smiled at him, watching him eat his cake.
“You want some? Open up! Ahh~” he opened his mouth with a smile, I copied his move and opened mine. Before he could place the cake in my mouth-
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I crept back into reality. Feeling I just dropped from the sky. Jumping, realizing I fell asleep while studying. “Fuck y/n you didn’t have to jump in your sleep do you..?” Yunjin scoffed. “What time is it?” I scratched my eyes as I try to adjust the lighting. “Is 6:47pm, so we should probably get going…” She said as she continue to pack her bag.
“I think me and jungwon are really close in the multiverse you know.” I stretched as I watched her stop packing her bag. “Oh my gosh y/n are you serious still on about this topic?”
“Yunjin, is not a joke anymore. Everytime i go to sleep, I feel like I’m traveling to another universe and I can control everything I do.” I said, I’m not insane right?
“We need to get you some mental health support because I’m not about to live in the same roof as a psychopath.” She stands up before dragging me along with her to our bus stop.
“Is Saturday tomorrow okay? I won’t be home until later tomorrow night.” Yunjin informs me as she unlocks our door. She’s basically the reason why we still have a roof on top of us. I nodded as I place my bag on the floor. Checking my phone as I saw jungwon texted me.
Wonnie 🤭 : HEYYY Y/N :DD
y/n 🩷 : HEYYY JUNGWON HRU??
Wonnie 🤭 : Im good!! Really excited for tomorrow :)
y/n 🩷: Same! We haven’t hang out in ages :(
Wonnie 🤭 : Is okay we are hanging out tomorrow so is fine😝
y/n 🩷 : The iconic duo is back😫
Wonnie 🤭 : REAL!! (Not clickbait😫)
y/n 🩷 : NEVERRRR
Wonnie 🤭 : also can you wear that white sundress we got last time we went out?
y/n 🩷 : oooo~~ why🫢
Wonnie 🤭 : BECAUSE YOU LOOK CUTE IN IT AND WE NEED TO TAKE PICTURES??
y/n 🩷 : FINE IM EXCITED AS WELL!! I’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW <;33
Wonnie 🤭 : ALRIGHT GOODNIGHT🥹
Heart beating so fast, feeling like I’m a teenage girl once again for him. He called me cute.. he wanted to take pictures.. I hope tomorrow goes well..
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I nervously adjusted the straps of my white sundress, glancing at myself in the mirror for what felt like the hundredth time. Today was probably a normal day for everyone - Saturday. But after those silly dream or actually me traveling to my multiverse, I realize my feelings for jungwon. And meeting Jungwon, the butterflies in my stomach were on cloud 9. He suggested me to wear a sundress, me being me, guessing our location would be maybe a coffee shop or a cozy café, but the nerves intensified when he texted the address of a restaurant instead.
As I wait outside of my apartment for his arrival, my mind raced with a thousand thoughts. Was my dress too much? Did my hair look alright? I wanted everything to be perfect. Honestly I don’t even know why, the night I started dreaming about him, I started to change. The anticipation only grew as jungwon is now in front of me.
“Hey y/n! You look amazing!” How cute..
“thank you so much you look amazing as well!” I smiled sweetly at him, a sense of relief washed over me as he complimented me. He kept looking over me, with a warm smile on his face, Jungwon was effortlessly charming, making me forget about my earlier worries.
When we arrive at the restaurant, the kind waiter led us to our table, and he pulled out the chair for me – a small gesture that somehow managed to make me feel at ease.
Lunch went surprisingly well. Conversation flowed naturally, and I found myself enjoying every moment spent with him. The initial awkwardness faded away, replaced by laughter and shared stories. Jungwon paid for our meal, insisting it was his treat, and I couldn't help but feel grateful for his kindness.
After lunch, he suggested a walk at the nearby park. As we strolled through the paths surrounded by vibrant pink roses, “i thought today would be the perfect day to take you here. You that sundress and these pink roses are really the perfect blend.” Jungwon complimented me with a slight blush on his face which stood out because of his white shirt, I couldn't shake off the feeling that everything was surreal. Jungwon's presence was comforting, and the beauty of the park seemed to mirror the growing connection between us. Jungwon, with his polaroid camera in his hand, stopped at a picturesque spot. He turned towards me, capturing the moment with a photograph. I was surprised by his sudden action, immediately running towards him to check the photo, it was candid picture of my side profile, I felt a bit self - conscious but he reassured me that I looked beautiful. His genuine compliments melted away any remaining nervousness.
The sun began to set, casting a warm glow on everything around us. It was in that moment, surrounded by the soft scent of roses, that Jungwon paused and looked into my eyes. He confessed, "I really enjoy spending time with you, y/n." My heart skipped a beat, and before I could respond, he asked the question that would change everything.
"I know we rarely talk or even hang out anymore. But I really miss the time when we were constantly hanging out. Maybe even more, like our pool dates or maybe even getting paired up for a project at work. I just can’t seem to get you out of my mind. I was so scared i did Something wrong that day i bumped into you. I’m still sorry about that. But I really can’t lose you if I actually did something wrong. I hope this wouldn’t ruin our friendship more because can I be your boyfriend?”
I can see the nervousness in him as he starts to avoid eye contact with him, his cheeks grew pinker as he continue to confess. The world seemed to stand still for a moment. I felt a rush of emotions – excitement, joy, and a lingering hint of nervousness. I managed to stammer out a surprised "Yes, of course you can jungwon.." and before I knew it, Jungwon's eyes lit up with happiness.
With a gentle smile, he looked ant me with adoring eyes before looking at my lips. “I-I- can I kiss you?” I gave him a soft nod, his hand around my waist while the other on my cheeks, and we shared our first kiss. It felt like the perfect conclusion to a day filled with unexpected turns and delightful surprises. The park, now bathed in the soft hues of the evening, witnessed the beginning of something special. His forehead on mines after we pulled away. His sweet Cherry lips along with my tingling strawberry ones, was the perfect blend . We both are the perfect blend
As we made our way back to my apartment, hand in hand, the reality of the day began to sink in. Jungwon kept his arm around my waist. Giving my forehead kisses here and there. And I couldn't help but steal glances at him. He seemed genuinely happy, and that made my heart swell with a warmth I hadn't felt before.
Once we reached my apartment door, Jungwon hesitated for a moment. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the photograph he had taken of me at the park. He handed it to me, saying, "I want to keep this memory close."
It was a sweet gesture that left you speechless. I took the photo, studying the captured moment of our day together. Jungwon's eyes held a depth of emotion as he looked at her. Love in his eyes, and it was clear that this day meant as much to him as it did to you.
“You and the roses are such a perfect blend” He said as he lean again my door before I handed him back the picture.
“You and me are the perfect blend ” I flirted back as he laughs adorably.
“I see you moving already..” we laughed at his annoying joke.
“Right I have to go now baby but I’ll text you when I get home alright?” The nickname made my heart goes 80 miles per hour. As he kisses my forehead, my nose and lastly my lips.
“Stay safe okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.” I smiled to him one last time, watching him step inside the tall elevator as the door closes. Closing the apartment door as I touched my lips. His sweet Cherry lip balm still on it.
“So I guess it went well..” yunjin walks out of her room, clearly was asleep.
“Yeah.. he’s my boyfriend now..” I told her as I saw her eyes widen from the sudden information
“WAIT HOLD UP OH MY GOD WHAT- FILL ME IN HELLO-?”
“CALM DOWN THE NEIGHBORS ARE GOING TO COMPLAIN!”
“I DONT GIVE A FUCK NOW TELL ME EVERYTHING. EVERY DETAIL.”
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Jungwon on the other hand is telling every single detail to his friends. All of them squiggling and giggling over every single Little detail, as if they were high school girls. Showing off the polaroid picture of you to them and told them how the kiss went. He hopes this is how you both are in his next multiverse.
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SERIES TAGLIST : @enhaz1 @dubuii @in-somnias-world @ultimatestayandminoronce @yenqa @euncsace @hoondiors @yannew @mrchweeee @ariadores @oldjws @frukkoneeeeg @dimplewonie @seobstarr @asteria-wood (white = i cant tag) / comment to be added to the series taglist.
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© filmofhybe on tumblr — do not copy , translate or share.
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slifarianhawk · 1 year ago
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Chapter 5: Transfer
The weeks following my first Pankration match were tantalizingly busy. I had Roussimoff scheduling me for a fight every few days. The number of coupons I was raking in was far more substantial than my days working long hours on the production floor. However, the crowd still seemed to hate my guts. While some warmed up to me more often than not, people placed higher bets on my opponent. Not that I cared. It just meant I could afford a minuscule upgrade in my way of life.
I was walking through the admin area on my way to see if wosley had any more Fonta available for purchase when Sam ran up to me. He seemed to be in quite the rush.
"Ah! Sam, care to share a Fonta with me? I have quite a few coupons left over from my winnings." I said, smiling.
He panted as he placed his hands on his knees, "Silva! His grace would like to see you in his office."
"Well, I'm sure his grace would understand if I'm a little late. You look like you were sprinting a mile. Let me get you that Fonta." I smiled, wondering why Wriothesley wanted to see me.
I helped Sam over to the tables. Wolsey walked over to Sam and handed him a bottle of pure water. That was probably a better move than a Fonta.
"I have to go see his grace. Keep an eye on him, Wosley." I said as I walked away.
Once again, I'd only seen him in passing glances. He always seemed so busy. But he was there at each of my Pankration matches. I always saw him for a brief second out of the corner of my eye during the final moments of the bout.
It was oddly comforting. I heard from Roussimoff that his grace still participates in Pankration matches. That he was a champion Pankration fighter numerous times. Maybe I should ask for some tips or something.
I opened the massive metal door. I could faintly hear jazz playing in the background. I walked in and slowly ascended the stairs. The music gradually increased in volume as I climbed. I stopped at the top of the stairs and noticed his back turned towards me.
"You wished to see me your grace?" I asked as I approached him.
"Ah, Silva, thank you for coming. Please have a seat. I just put a fresh pot of tea on." He said back still towards me, his hand gesturing to the sofa.
"Thank you, Wriothesley." I said, walking over towards the couch.
"It seems I owe you a set of thanks. I just received a letter with a contract and an order sheet from Bubu pharmacy." He said, turning towards me a package in his hand.
"A promise is a promise, your grace. I am a woman of my word. I may not be a prideful person. However, I do hold myself to that standard." I said as he sat the package and two letters on the coffee table.
"That package came from Liyue Harbor addressed to you. It came with three letters, one addressed to the Duke of Meropide, the those are addresses to you." He said, walking over to the now whistling tea kettle.
"Thank you, Wriothesley. I don't know if you noticed, but there are those here who aren't my biggest fans." I smiled as I picked up the letters. One was a light blue envelope with a green wax seal with a snake on it. Baizhu, I'm glad he replied. The other one was just like the last letter his grace handed me.
"Care for any sugar or cream?" He asked, pouring the tea into their respective cups.
"Depends. What blend are we drinking today?" I asked, slowly opening Baizhu's letter.
"I'm using your blend, seeing as we haven't shared tea in the past month and a half. Not to mention the reports I've been getting from Sigewinne about a certain inmate with a migraine every few days. I figured it would be the best course of action." He said, placing a cube in his tea.
I felt a blush graze my cheeks, "Just one then, your grace. I must apologize  about my actions. They seem to have made you worry about my well-being. I just didn't want there to be any call to arms against you. As I said earlier, there aren't very many here who look kindly upon me."
"I figured that was the case. Tell me how long have you been receiving those threatening notes on your workstation in the production zone?" He asked, sitting next to me on the couch.
I must have had a shocked look on my face because Wriothesley let out a small chuckle. He took a sip of his tea.  I gazed at the scars under he eyes lift as he did. Did my heart just flutter at that... nope, that couldn't have been it.
"How long have you known? I haven't told anyone about them." I said, trying to hide my expression by taking a drink of my tea.
"Sam... He reported it. He noticed the random slips of paper appearing at your work bench seemingly overnight when no one was around. He read one and was horrified. He brought it to my attention later that shift." He said, glancing at me.
"Sam..." I said, looking at my hands shaking.
"I decided to investigate, and I can tell you that they are dropped off between my early morning rounds and start of your shift. Being that I only started this investigation about three days ago, I'd say your package arrived with perfect timing,  paper trail, and all." He said with a smug tone in his voice.
"Thank you, Wriothesley. If I weren't so stubborn about not feeling like a burden, I would have brought it to your attention. It's been happening since my third day here." I sigh, setting my cup down.
"You should have brought this to my attention." He said, turning towards me, "I know a lot of gaurdes and prisoners are still used to my predecessors' rules and policies. My new policies instill the main rule of rehabilitation and consistency. I want Meropide to be a place where people learn from their wrongs and grow in a place free from the constant threat of violence. That's why I kept the Pankration ring."
His tone was like he was scolding an inmate, and in the truest sense of the thought, he was. However, there was something else there, it seemed. I shook my head, I was just thinking too much into it.
"Would you like me to read the letters to you, Wriothesley?" I asked, flustered quickly, trying to change the subject.
"Oh ahem, yes, that was the main reason I did call you here. Monsieur Nuevillette wants to know if you were in contact with the people who matter to you." Wriothesley said, pouring more tea into both mine and his cups.
"He is a very kind man." I said, placing a single cube of sugar in my cup.
"You've only seen him in a decent mood. He has a temperament that is to be minded." Wriothesley said.
I opened the letter and started to read. Baizhus voice playing in my head, Changshengs as well.
"Silva, I am glad to have received your letter. When Mr. Zhongli informed me of your circumstances. I was sure it would be quite a while before I heard from you again. It brings comfort to me and Changsheng to hear you are well. To think you'd make a deal to bring me more mora while so far away. I'm glad to see you haven't changed from the kind girl who volunteered to help Qiqi and Gui dry herbs in her free time. I sent you some more of the tea that I provided you with before your trip, as well as something special. Mr. Zhongli asked me to provide it to you, even covered the costs of the shipping. I think he figured part of the mystery of your mother. He wouldn't talk to me much about it, so I'm not exactly sure about the details. He had me send a letter from him in this parcel. Have the lovely head nurse reach out with any needs of your medication. I'll be glad to cover the expenses until you return to Liyue.
On one last note, however, Changsheng wants you to be careful. Goodness knows what will happen if you come in contact with that drug again. Dendro energy can be very volatile when not properly controlled. She doesn't want to see you hurt. Nor do I, for that matter. Take care of yourself since I'm not there to treat your wounds. Please write to me when you can. Take care, Baizhu and Changsheng."  I said, wiping tears from my eyes.
"He seems like a very good man and an even better doctor. Who is Changsheng? His wife?" Wriothesley asked, and I simply laughed.
"No, nothing like that. Changsheng is his familiar he inherented from his master." I smiled.
"Oh..." He coughed a bit of an embarrassed blush on his cheeks, "Ehem... I won't have you read that letter from your other friend. It seems the information is strictly meant for you. I understand the importance of finding out where you came from. It isn't talked about much, but I was raised in a foster home."
I noticed something in his expression, a forlorn darkness. There was something he clearly needed to unpack. But I don't feel like I should dig. We were just becoming more familiar with each other. But something compelled me to say something.
"You okay, Wriothesley? You seem a bit sullen all of a sudden." I say instinctively, placing my hand on his back.
He stiffened for a brief second at the touch but quickly relaxed, "Yeah, just lost in thought."
He stood up and stretched. Walking over to his desk, he pulled out a couple of papers and a quill. He motioned me to come to over to him.
"I need you to sign a couple of things. Would you come over here?" He said.
I simply nodded and walked over to the desk.
"What do you need me to sign?" I asked curiously.
"Well one I need you to sign without a doubt before you leave. In all honesty, I'd feel safer with it in place. The other is a contract between you and me if you are interested." He said, staring into my eyes.
This piqued my interest. What kind of contract would I'd be signing, and what was the first paper about. I stopped in front of his desk, and he handed me the first paper he pulled out. It had notice of work transfer in bold on top.
"I discussed this with Nuevillette. I told him about the notes on your workstation as soon as i heard about it as he wants updates and all. He believes this will at least lessen the chance of someone taking their version of justice out on you." Wriothesley said, interlocking his fingers together.
I read the document and confusion spring up in my mind.
"To the kitchens, are you sure? Wosley normally doesn't trust violent offenders in his kitchens." I asked.
Wriothesley chuckled, "He welcomed the thought with open arms. I distinctly remember him saying he finds you pleasant for conversation and would love to learn more about the cuisine you've picked up through your travels. He said that the hours are longer than the production zones but is willing to give you time off for your Pankration matches."
I felt a shock run through my system. Wosley even describes himself as a person who doesn't trust very easily. I felt an ease of tension flood my body. Then, a saddened thought dripped into my  thoughts. How would I train for my matches. Even though I was still new in the ring. The release it gave me from my frustrations was almost euphoric.
I heard another chuckle from his grace.
"I know that look. Debating between the transfer and the ring, huh?" He said, handing me the second paper.
"Am i that easy to read?" I asked, taking the supposed contract.
"No, I was in your position at one point during my stay. That's why I had this drawn up. I think you'd find it quite beneficial for us both." He said.
I felt drawn to the contract. What was it? What did it entail? I picked it up and started to read through it. I must have looked incredibly flustered.
"It doesn't involve anything of a personal nature. If that's what got you looking like that." He assured me.
I felt my cheeks redden, and i stopped reading, not even getting past the secondline. That wasn't what I thought! Was it? No, definitely not. Ayato always told me to wait to find someone I cared about to do anything like that. I barely have known Wriothesley for a couple of months, archons. This is only the second time we have even actually spoken.
"I promise Wriothesley! it's not that!" I exclaimed.
He let out a laugh that clearly built from his stomach, "Oh relax, sweetheart. I was just pulling your leg. If I had five mora for every time a  female inmate offered herself to me, I'd be able to afford the kitchen overhaul Wosley has been asking for."
Sweetheart? That word rang in my ears. I shook my head at my stupidity. He was the administrator. Of course, he wouldn't do that.
"This is simply a sparring and training  contract." He said as I set it down and walked up behind me.
"Training?" I asked, turning my head to look at him.
"I've been at each of your matches, and I know you know that. You're good with your weapon and alchemy. However, your martial arts is sloppy, to say the least. At the same time, i find your combat interesting. I want to train you to be able to use your abilities to their fullest. I could even help you make some improvements on your weapons. " He said, placing his hand on the contract.
"You want to train me?" I asked, noticing his scarred hands hidden behind black bandages.
"It's just an offer. It would allow you to be up after lights out and be able to not allow the other inmates to watch you train. I'd even have Sam escort you back to your bunk." He said.
"You sure about all this, even the weapons your grace. All I use are wires? How can that even be modified?" I asked my mind racing.
I felt something heavy on my opposite shoulder. I quickly turned my head and saw a black and brass gauntlet resting on it. Where the hell did that come from.
"It surprises most people what a little knowledge of mechanics can do. I was able to perfect these during my time here. They resonate very well with my catalyst." He said, pulling his gauntlet away from me as he walked back to his chair, "in the end, this decision is completely up to you."
"I know, I've made up my mind." I said, setting down the contract, "I'm tired of doing the same old thing. Be it combat or work. It's been getting harder each match in the ring. Not to mention, I have a feeling that the asshole who stabbed me is still out there."
"Well then, the dotted line is right there, sweetheart." Wriothesley said, handing me the inked quill.
I took the pen and signed the documents. Sliding them over to him, I noticed his face seemed contemplative. I wondered what was going on behind those lovely blue grey eyes. I sighed at my thoughts. I felt as if I should start my job for the day.
"Wriothesley, when would you like to have our first training session?" I asked curiously.
"How about tomorrow? You have a match tonight, right? That way, I can finish off what regimen to build off of." He said, standing up looking at the time, "speaking of which you should probably head to the kitchen. Don't worry, I'll bring the crate brought to your bunk later."
"Thank you, Wriothesley." I said, heading towards the stairs.
"No problem. Here, let me at least walk you out." He said, catching up to me.
"Thanks," I said, stopping at the stairs and trying to turn towards him.
Unfortunately, my balance didn't want to stay stable. I felt the air of the office rush past my ears. Well fuck... I awaited the pain to strike only to feel a strong pull. The next thing I felt was warmth and my face pressed against fabric.
I looked up only to see myself pulled into Wriothesley's chest, his hand on my wrist, and his other arm wrapped around my back. I saw concern on his face, but his cheeks were slightly pink.
"Hey now, be careful. I can tell you from experience those metal stairs hurt." He said his gaze off to the side, a slightly snarky tone in his voice.
"Of course, I'm sorry." I said as he released me.
"No need for apologies. Can't let you be at a disadvantage in your bout later, right?" He said.
"Yeah, guess you right. I guess I'll see you at the match?" I asked.
"Wouldn't miss it." He said as I walked down the stairs.
As I walked out the doors, I heard a deep clicking noise after they closed. The guardes looked confused.
"Wonder why he locked the door?" I heard one guarde ask the other.
The other just shrugged and resumed guarding the door. My mind wandered as I made my way to the kitchen. Why would Wriothesley lock the door behind him? Did I do something wrong?
When I arrived at the kitchen, I shoved all those thoughts aside. I just knew that today was the start of something for me.
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tired-truffle · 4 months ago
Text
Something’s Gotta Give
A CullenxLavellan fic
Chapter Word Count: 3.6k
Part 19 - Proper Name, Place Name, Backstory Stuff
"I don't want to have to be the one who mourns everything when everyone else has clearly forgotten. It's mortifying. It's mortifying to be the one who remembers." - Ryan O'Connell
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Masterlist
Stealth had never been Ash’s strong suit. She was much too loud, much too fidgety to blend into the background. Her size always had her sticking out like a sore thumb among the reedy elves she grew up with, best to leave the sneaking to those who could fit behind shrubbery without their whole ass sticking out. This didn’t stop her from peering out from behind the stables, however, watching as Cullen stood with his back to her, speaking with one of his subordinates out in the merchant's quarter. She wished she could see his face and the crease between his brows she knew would be there, it always was when he was concentrating. But she wanted to be caught less than she wanted to see it. It was mildly creepy to watch him like this, but she couldn’t help it. All she wanted was to run up and wrap her arms around him, to kiss him until she couldn’t breathe. 
Ugh, she hated this. Look at what he had reduced her to. She felt like a teenager, pining after the cutest boy in the clan. Her hangover did little to help her irritation, her brain swelling against the sides of her skull, her stomach churning angrily. 
“Why do you hide from him?” 
An undignified yelp slipped past her tongue before she could stop it. Turning sharply on her heels, she fixed the spirit in the large brimmed hat with a fierce scowl. 
“Cole, one of these days I’m going to pee myself when you do that and it will be terribly embarrassing.” 
He didn’t laugh, he never did at her jokes. It was a pity, they were usually pretty funny. Tilting his head to the side, he glanced between her and Cullen. 
“I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said, his eyes darting down to her chest as Love shifted - like she always did in his presence. “Why are you watching Commander Cullen?”
Ash was not interested in talking about her inner desires with Cole. Evasive tactics would be required. “There are plenty of people who like to watch the Commander.”
He scanned her, his eyes narrowing - he was not so easily fooled. “That’s true, but you watch him more than most.”
The tips of her ears reddened, her lips pursing as he called her out on her behaviour. She did not appreciate the way this conversation was heading, but she was reticent to shove the spirit away. There was something about his curious innocence that endeared him to her.
“You like the way he moves. Confident, but not arrogant. His stride is sure, strong. He makes you feel safe. You want him to see you, the real you. You like it when he smiles.”
Crossing her arms over her chest, she glanced around, eyes sharp for any signs that someone was listening to them. “That’s because it takes a lot of work to get him to genuinely smile. I’m just proud of all my effort.”
“That still doesn’t explain why you hide from him.”
A light blush crept up her cheeks, but she didn’t try to deny it, Cole would be able to tell she was lying. “Despite what I’m sure he believes, I don’t bother him upon every whim.”
“He doesn’t think that. He enjoys your company too. He wishes his duties did not take him away from you.” Cole’s brow furrowed, confused as to what she wasn’t understanding. 
Love flipped behind her ribs and she hid it behind a cough. Regarding Cole warily, she debated whether or not to believe him. He could hear thoughts, but did Cullen truly enjoy her incessant chatter? Surely some of it had to annoy him. 
“Her voice like honey and wine. Sweet and soothing, drowning out the echoes of nightmares.” Cole spoke in the airy, cryptic way he did when relaying the thoughts of others. 
“I thought I asked you not to read my mind.”
Cole ducked his head, the wide brim of his hat obscuring his face from view. “I can’t help it. You’re loud. Your thoughts. Not just in volume, either. They’re bright. Colours, impressions, feelings. All tangled up together.”
With a long-suffering sigh, Ash shook her head. “Thanks,” she grumbled. She didn’t love the idea that she was broadcasting her thoughts for all to hear, though she knew Cole would never mean to cause harm, she was still unsure about his methods of helping. Would he tell Cullen outright about her feelings? She wasn’t sure she’d survive the mortification.
Cole looked behind her, his eyes unfocusing, becoming distant. "A heart full of scars, begging for healing. A mind filled with shadows, yearning for light. A soul aching to break free from the chains that bind."
Ash had no idea what that meant, nor did she have any desire to unravel its meaning, but her curiosity got the best of her and she couldn't resist glancing over her shoulder. Had she turned even a fraction slower, she would have missed the way Cullen whirled back around, attempting to cover that he had just been looking her way. 
Interesting. 
Why couldn’t she face him in the daylight, around others? Was she truly so afraid that he’d see her hidden desires beneath the soft sun rays, or that those around them could sense her need just by the buzzing of her body? Did he notice it in the dimly lit confines of his office or in the way she held her twitchy fingers back from ghosting across his cheek? She’d all but thrown herself at him last night, intoxicated and overly touchy. Could he see how desperately she wanted him beneath the moonlight?
The constant whirl of thoughts and emotions tugged her towards his office later that day, the pull too strong to resist. She was unable to stay away, drawn in by an unseen force beyond her control. How she despised it, to feel so helpless against her affection for him.
“You look…well rested,” Cullen greeted her with a smirk, a gloat floating in his eyes. 
Ash groaned as she slumped onto the edge of his desk, her head lolled onto her shoulder and she waved her hand in dismissal. “No need to rub it in. I’m well aware I look terrible, it’s my penance.”
“I highly doubt you could ever look terrible.” His eye roll undercut the sincerity of the statement, but the light blush on his cheeks as he realized what he’d said did more to warm her heart than was likely healthy.
“I certainly feel it,” she huffed, watching Cullen closely as he winced when he shifted the papers on his desk - a bashful attempt to keep his hands busy. He rubbed at his temple, a telltale sign of one of his headaches. Without thinking, she slid off the desk and moved behind him.
"Here, let me help," she said, reaching for his shoulders.
Cullen stiffened, his muscles tensing under her touch. "It's fine, I can manage," he protested, but he lacked conviction.
"Just let me help you," Ash insisted, her fingers already working into the knots at the base of his neck. "I owe you one after you ensured I returned safely to my room last night. If it wasn’t for you I would have ended up sleeping in the garden beds."
A low groan escaped him as she pressed her thumbs into a particularly tight spot. "You owe me nothing, but I…suppose I could use a break," he conceded, his head dropping forward.
Ash smiled to herself, relishing the warmth of his skin beneath her hands. She kneaded carefully, mindful of the pressure and the heat she summoned to her fingertips.
Cullen's breathing deepened, his posture relaxing incrementally with each passing minute. Ash fought to keep her own breathing steady, hyper-aware of their proximity. The scent of leather and sword oil clung to him, making her heart race.
As time wore on, she noticed subtle shifts in Cullen's demeanour. His shoulders tensed and relaxed in an irregular rhythm. His breath hitched occasionally, as if words were caught in his throat. She could practically feel the unspoken thoughts buzzing beneath his skin.
Cullen's hand twitched, fingers curling and uncurling on the desk. He cleared his throat once, twice, but no words followed.
“I can tell you’re itching to say something, Commander.” Ash pressed harder against a knot at the base of his neck and he stifled a hiss. 
“I…well, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask,” he mumbled, face angled away from her, “but I don’t wish to intrude or make you feel uncomfortable.”
“Now I’m curious.” Ash shoved the panic that flittered in her throat down into her stomach, dissolving it in acid. “Spit it out before I change my mind.”
“It’s…about your magic.” He made a valiant effort to keep the strain out of his voice, the trepidation that he’d push her too far and upset her. She knew the sentiment all too well, she’d experienced it herself enough to be an expert. 
Ash eased off on his neck and forehead, drawing her magic back into herself. Could he tell that there was something wrong with her magic, something…other? “What about my magic?”
Turning in his chair to angle himself towards her, allowing her to see the crease between his brows and the tight press of his lips, he said, “It’s only that whenever you use the…heat magic, you seem…” He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck where her hand had been only moments ago. “You seem reluctant? Uncomfortable almost. I want to ensure you’re not pushing yourself on my behalf.”
Ash leaned back against his desk, propping herself up with her palms pressed against the hardwood surface. “I just don’t use it that much is all.”
Disbelief arched in the curved shape of his eyebrow, perhaps she had been too dismissive, too simple of an explanation for him to believe her. “I feel you tense every time.”
Did she do that? She hadn’t even realized, she would have to ensure that she didn’t do that again in the future. 
“Don’t do that,” he said with a frown. 
Ash blinked. “Do what?”
“Figure out how to hide your tells.”
It was disconcerting how he could easily read her emotions with just a single glance. She felt a twinge of discomfort, as there were few things she despised more than being told what to do. Schooling her face into a more neutral expression, she allowed a small smile to curl at the edges of her lips. “You caught me,” she raised her hands in a display of innocence, “are you going to arrest me now for being a naughty little mage?”
He shot her a deadpan stare, a muscle twitching in his jaw. It wasn’t the wisest of her to push him on sore topics with his headache still beating behind his eyes. “Deflecting with a joke won’t work either.” 
Ash narrowed her eyes, her bottom lip jutting out in a petulant pout. Who was he to ruin all her fun? 
“I would like you to be comfortable, is that so bad?” he asked with a testy tilt to his head. 
“No,” she grumbled, resisting the urge to sigh dramatically. “It’s just…a whole thing that would take forever to explain.” 
“I have time,” he said gently, a soft, curious look swimming in the warm amber of his eyes. 
“I am sure there are a million better things you could be doing than listening to me complain.”
He placed a hand on hers, the leather of his gloves soft against her twisted, scarred skin. Though she could barely feel it, the tenderness of the gesture was not lost on her. The smirk slid from her face, wiped away by a plaintive frown.
“You are not one to complain about non-trivial affairs.” Which suggested he believed her to complain about trivial affairs, but she stayed her tongue from pointing that out. 
“I don’t want to burden you with the unpleasantness of that particular story,” she tried again, but he was persistent. 
“It’s not a burden. You know of my struggles. You have supported me with them for going on two weeks despite recovering from your own injuries. You did not let me push you away, it is only fair that I return the favour.”
Ash parted her lips, ready to unleash a fiery retort, but no words formed. The frustration bubbling in her chest was quickly extinguished by the triumphant grin that spread across his face like wildfire. She narrowed her eyes at him, silently daring him to revel in his victory. When he did not, she groaned for the second time since entering his office, and not in the way she wished he would make her groan. “Fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
He sat back in his seat, motioning for her to continue, the victory falling away and replaced by a gentle curiosity. 
Ash pressed her lips together as she gathered her thoughts. Once sufficiently prepared - as prepared as she could ever be - she began. “It’s not heat magic, it’s pyromancy. I don’t let it get to flames, just enough to heat my skin, but that’s where it stems from.” 
Understanding dawned in his eyes as they darted over her burns, but she was quick to correct him. “And it’s not because of the Archdemon, not entirely anyway. I haven’t used my pyromancy since I was a child.” She bit her lip, closing her eyes to recollect herself. “It’s my…natural affinity, I guess you could say. It’s what first appeared when my magic manifested. I was quite young, close to five years old, so it was drilled into me from a very early age that I had to be careful with my magic. I only learned the basics, the clan leaders feared I would burn the camp to the ground if I was taught how to conjure more than a candle flame. I feared my fire, I could see it on all their faces, the wariness, the distrust, so I never tried to practice more than I was allowed.” 
Ash paused, should she continue with the story or let it rest there, pretend that that was the end of it? Yet when she opened her eyes and she saw Cullen patiently waiting with his hands in his lap, his posture relaxed but attentive, his focus taken off his headache and onto her, the words flowed from her lips before she could stop them.
“Because I didn’t have any practice, when our clan was attacked by human slavers, my parents murdered and Rae and I kidnapped, I didn’t know how to defend us. We were dragged away with a few other children and I tried to use my limited magic to fight back but that only made them laugh. They bound me like Qunari do to their mages, I guess one of them had spent some time with the Qun, but it only made it so I had less precision and control. They tried to take Rae away from me and I, uh, blacked out after I lost control of my magic. When I came to, all the slavers were dead. I’ll never forget the stench of charred flesh or how their skeletons were still stark white from the intensity of the heat. It was a miracle none of the other children were harmed, but I think the entire clan was a little scared of me after that. I switched to ice magic to try to put them at ease but I think they always feared me, at least a little.”
The silence that hung in the room answered first, and she started to curl in on herself, fearing his rejection, until his voice followed. “You did what you had to survive, there is no shame in that. They deserved their fate.”
Ash’s head snapped towards him, lips parted, incredulousness in the wide cast of her eyes. “What?”
Cullen did not falter. “You rid the world of evil, they were stealing children. While I do not doubt that the situation was traumatic, it’s important that you know you did the right thing, purposeful or not.” 
She should have guessed he’d take that stance, his strong sense of justice didn’t align with the theft of children. Yet, for him to come right out and say it…no, she should have expected that too. 
A small smile, genuine in its shyness, canted at the corners of her lips. “I appreciate you saying that.” 
She basked in the warmth of his smile, her heart picking up its pace and playing a staccato rhythm against her ribs. Did he realize the effect he had on her when he smiled? His eyes shone and the weariness lifted from his face. He was always handsome, to be fair, but his smile radiated an irresistible charm that endeared her to him like nothing else.
Was this all some Templar trap? Lure her in with a lopsided grin and strike when she least expected it. If it was, she would have to hand it to him, that would be quite the long con.
Not one to linger in tender moments, Ash rolled her shoulders back with a deep sigh. “It's been so long since that night and I don’t want to let it control me anymore. That’s why I started using my fire magic with you. Sorry for making you my test subject without your approval. If it helps, I wouldn’t have attempted it if I thought I would actually lose control and burn you.” 
“I trust you,” he said simply, unaware of how profoundly those three words affected her. Why did they make her heart beat in her throat, her hands clammy and her mouth dry? Was it the sweetness with which he said it, or was it her guilt for hiding her possession from him when he gave her his trust and she wouldn’t do the same?
She shouldn’t feel guilt, she owed him nothing. But then…why did she feel so damn guilty?
“Do you trust me enough to answer your missives?” Ash asked, tilting her head and grinning, both a distraction from her thoughts and his affection. 
Cullen frowned, the space between his brows creasing. “What?” 
“If you trust me you’ll let me answer your missives,” she clarified, “without checking.”
He rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair. “Don’t push it,” he warned and Ash laughed, the sound light like wind chimes in a summer breeze. A weight she hadn’t realized she’d been carrying had been lifted off her shoulders and she was reluctant to admit how good it felt. 
But when she was around Cullen, she found herself feeling lighter and better than she ever had. It should have been concerning, but she was much too far gone to care. 
“What’s with the pout, Dorian?” Ash had found her way to the library, intent on bothering her other favourite target. “Someone spill soup on your favourite robes?”
Dorian didn’t look up, gaze fixed on the letter clutched tight in his hands. “Does it look like I’ve verbally flayed anyone alive today?” He was trying for levity, but it fell lifeless, his attempt at a smile not reaching his bloodshot eyes. 
The grin fell from her face and she slipped onto the chair beside him, the wood creaking as she settled. “Dorian,” she said softly, and her friend ducked his head. “What happened?”
With a forlorn sigh, he released his iron grip on the letter, the paper creased and crinkled, and passed it to her. 
Ash picked it up, and her heart dropped into her stomach. She read it once, twice, three times just to be sure. 
The Alexius family estate had informed Dorian of Felix’s passing. 
“Please forget I said any of that,” she said, giving him an apologetic smile. 
Dorian huffed, accepting the letter as she passed it back. “I think I’ll hold it against you, actually.”
“I deserve that one.” She placed her arm on his bicep and squeezed lightly. “He was a close friend, wasn’t he?”
A bittersweet smile twisted Dorian’s lips. “In a way. I worked for his father and Felix was the sort of person who made friends with everyone. He used to sneak me treats from the kitchens when I was working late in his father’s study. ‘Don’t get into trouble on my behalf,’ I’d tell him. ‘I like trouble,’ he’d say. Tevinter could use more mages like him, those who put the good of others above themselves.” 
“For what it’s worth, you have my condolences. We’ve had enough loss, we don’t need any more.” 
Dorian folded the letter, tucking it into the satchel that hung off the back of his chair. “Quite right, Ash, but he was on borrowed time. I always knew this was coming.” 
Ash tilted her head from side to side. “Maybe, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.” 
“I know,” Dorian said, resigned. “But today is not the day for moping, just look at the weather. When was the last time we had sun like this in such a dreary place?”
Just like Ash, he was adept at concealing his sorrow, not wanting to burden anyone with his pain. However, she refused to stand by and allow him to suffer in solitude simply.  
“It is lovely, perhaps you’d be willing to accompany me on a walk to the gardens? I’ve been wanting to check on that elf root and my knee isn’t giving me as much trouble today.” 
The tiniest of spark lit up his eyes. “That sounds splendid. Though if I stain my robes, I will be sending you the charge for cleaning.”
Ash laughed, standing up and offering him her hand. “You’re really not going to let that one go, are you?”
He accepted with a grin. “Not any time soon.”
Next Chapter
A/N: Is Ash's history making sense so far? I know I haven't had her outright say what happened yet, but I've given pieces. Let me know if there are any questions so I can make sure that I answer them."
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